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whatsyourcolor · 1 year

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Psycho-Pass Providence Review (with major spoilers!!! Don’t read if you don’t want spoilers!!)

As promised, I went to see Psycho-Pass Providence at Nijo Toho Cinemas in Kyoto. They had a little merch at the theater. They also gave everyone a booklet with artwork that I’ll include at the end of this review. If you want to wait until you can see the movie, please stop reading now because I will be basically telling everything that happened, good and bad. I was glad to see more people coming to watch the movie because when I bought the tickets most seats were available! We are a small fandom, but we are loyal! Now, please understand I don’t know any Japanese, so a lot of the information here is things that happened, but I can’t tell you much about the dialogue. I’m dying for someone to translate it once the movie becomes available everywhere.

Spoilers below:

The movie starts in a ship off the coast of Kanagawa, Japan, that is being attacked by the infamous peace breakers led by Akira Ignatov, Kei’s strange brother. The men in the ship are SAD agents that are getting murdered left and right. What do the peacebreakers want? Get something from a woman named Stronoyka who is currently traveling in the ship. From the synopsis we know this woman holds a dossier that details how to destroy Sibyl (or something of the sort, can’t quite remember). Kogami is the first on the scene in a suit reminiscent of a flying squirrel, but unfortunately, he’s too late. He looks hot as hell though when he jumps in the water.

The intro with a song by Ling Tosite Sigure had me excited to be watching a Psycho-Pass movie in a movie theater and surrounded by Japanese fans of the movie. It was sweet!

To skip ahead, SAD and the MWPSB have to work together. Akane, Kogami, Ginoza, Sugo, Saiga and Frederica travel to Dejima to investigate, I think. Let’s get to the meat of what the fandom wants to know.

Kogami and Ginoza Reunited

Akane is talking to Frederica and as they’re walking towards Division 1 office, they find Ginoza grabbing Kogami by the collar and yelling at him while Sugo is trying to separate them. What was Ginoza saying? No idea, but he was probably getting back at Kogami for leaving or coming back, etc.

At some point, however, Kogami and Ginoza fight together against their enemies. There seems to be some will for reconciliation.

Akane and Kogami Reunited

Akane walks in the room with Frederica when Gino is yelling at Kogami. Ko says “Kanishkan” at some point, so I think he’s addressing Akane, but her reaction is…should I say, enigmatic? Indifferent? Maybe she’s controlling herself?

SAD and the aforementioned team travel together to Dejima, and Akane and Kogami barely talk on the way. Once there, Saiga and Kogami talk and at some point they mention Akane. Later Akane calls Kogami while he’s in his room. They both sound like they disagree about something or like something is awkward between them and Akane hangs up on him, surprising him.

The thing about this movie is that they gave Akane the cutest outfits. Especially one in a very crucial moment. I’m so glad they made her look so cute and beautiful in the movie.

At some point the infamous peacebreakers begin their attack, and in the famous explosion scene, Frederica, Saiga, Kogami and Akane are walking down a hallway when an explosion goes off. Kogami doesn’t even think once about protecting Saiga or Frederica, he straight up runs to Akane and they fall to the ground. There are some lines of dialogue here while he’s laying on top of her. This is the part when Akane gets her bruised cheek.

In another scene, after Akira basically gives himself up, Kogami is interrogating him and then another guy shows up and shoots at them. Kogami gets shot and he ends up in the hospital. Akane visits him and when he makes to start smoking, she takes the cigarette off his mouth. There’s a moment here where it seems like he’s teasing her, because he sits up on his bed and kinda leans towards her. Very cute moment between them.

Saiga

Saiga and Kogami have a long talk about many things (I assume, remember, I don’t know any Japanese) but at some point they mention Akane.

A very sad, traumatic moment for Akane. They get attacked by a specially unkillable peacebreaker and Saiga ends up being held hostage by the guy. In the last moment, what we feared happens. Saiga’s last words are for Akane. Our poor girl suffers a lot and Kogami is there to console her and help her push through. They look so good together!

Akira, Kei, Maiko, Arata and Arata’s Dad

Honestly, most of the plot escapes me. Akira at some point even fights himself. He seems to be controlled by an old man who appears to be creating his own version of Sibyl. Akane is actually invited to Kei and Maiko’s wedding and on the same night Arata’s dad, with whom she seemed to have a very good relationship (there’s a lot of dialogue between Arata’s dad and Akane), killls himself while holding a photo of his family.

Craziness Ensues

Akane agrees to meet the mastermind behind all these terror attacks while a tactical team formed by Frederica, Gino, Kogami and Sugo fighting lasers from the air attack the headquarters of the peacebreakers. Here we see for the first time the two old dudes that become obsessed with Kogami in Season 3.

While everyone is fighting and there are explosions and shooting everywhere, Akane has a dialogue with the mastermind. At some point she draws her dominator but his crime coefficient is around 40. The whole place begins to collapse and by then, the mastermind has shot Akane on the leg and has her cuffed. They discuss and debate when he shoots her again (that asshole!). By the time Kogami shows up to rescue her, the other man is pointing his gut right at Akane’s forehead while they debate. At some point Akane says something that irks the guy and he pistol whips her a little bit. Kogami shoots him and gets her out of there.

The craziest plot twist

They show Akane dressed in a ceremonial uniform (and she looks so beautiful!) while Kogami is confined to an isolation facility. He begins reading a letter she wrote to him. They show her at a ceremony where it seems she will be recognized for her achievements. It is here when Akane shoots Chief Kasei in front of everyone.

They show Mika running to arrest Akane for her crime and she yells at Akane with frustration for what she did. Akane offers no resistance. As Kogami is reading the letter he looks angry, frustrated and sad for what Akane did. Why did she do it? We will have to wait until someone translates the movie.

Akane’s face is plastered all over the news as the inspector who went crazy and killed her boss. They show a parallel of Kogami walking out of the isolation facility while Akane is walking in. They don’t cross paths, but once Akane is alone she completely breaks down sobbing uncontrollably. It was so sad to see her suffer like that! Then they show Kogami walking free on the street and he says something and then the movie ends. Did Akane go to jail because of Kogami?

I’ll write more thoughts tomorrow! Overall it was well made. Lots of CGI and explosions almost made me think at times that I was watching a Transformers movie.

#Spoilers for Psycho-Pass Providence #Can’t believe Akane did that #psycho-pass #akane tsunemori #kogami shinya #psycho pass #sinners of the system #psycho-pass 3 #tsunemori akane #first inspector #ginoza nobuchika #psycho pass providence #virtue and vice #makishima shogo #cowboy bebop #kougami shinya #providence

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catalogercas · 6 months

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9 people you'd like to get to know better

Thanks for tagging me @lunar-years

3 Ships: Roy/Jamie/Keeley, Aziraphale/Crowley, Cas/Dean

First Ship Ever: I honestly don't know? Like, I know Harry Potter was my first fandom, but everything I read was gen. I never had a strong opinion about Harry/Hermione and Hermione/Ron (disclaimer that JKR is a terf, but I can't change that I was obsessed with HP when I was 14). Maybe Alanna/George for The Lioness Quartet? I I know that my first slash ship was Peter Burke/Neal Caffrey in White Collar and Peter/Neal/El was my first OT3.

Last Song: Out of the Woods (Taylor's Version) (1989 is all I've been listening to for the past like week lol...surprised it wasn't Blank Space though)

Last Movie: ???? I don't even know the last time I watched a movie. I bought Everything Everywhere All at Once and Spider-Man: Far From Home literally months ago because I know I want to watch, but I still haven't.

Currently Reading: I just finished Spellbound by Allie Therin last night. It was a lot of fun! (@lunar-years, I'm psyched you're planning on reading Murderbot. I love those books!). I'm also reading 100 Hoaxes and Mistakes That Fooled Science to my nephew (because I read non-fiction to him now because I've given up on figuring out what fiction he likes. He won't give anything a chance 🙄....but non-fiction? He'll let me read anything. Still can't believe I read a book about the suffrage movement to him and he enjoyed it.)

Currently Watching: I haven't started anything since I finished Good Omens and Heartstopper. I was going to watch Our Flag Means Death, but now I'm not sure I want to.

I did also watch the first episode of Ms. Marvel, and I need to go back to that. I'm just mad they changed her powers. Also considering Gen V. It looks interesting.

Adding Currently Playing: Stardew Valley

Currently Consuming: Nothing at the moment

Currently Craving: Motivation, self-confidence (I don't know if this was meant to be about food but the previous response was hours in the day so going with this lol)

No pressure tagging @disastrouscanasta @mydoctor @walnutmistjamie @jamietarttdodododododo @keeloca @mmleadinglady @abubblingcandle @horatiospocketwatch @gordianii

And anyone else that wants to!

#Ask Game #About Me #Did I tag my irl friends I haven't talked to in ages? Maybe lol

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ninacarstairss · 1 year

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hello cece my beautiful wonderful beloved soulmate <3

i hope you have been well and looking after yourself! i don’t want you overworking yourself 😭 but it has been two days since i have come back from my trip (i have been exhausted plus i had work and uni to catch up on) so now i am going to sit down and tell you about my trip!! please grab a cup of tea and a snack while you read :)

so i went to sydney again, and i had a much more enjoyable experience this time around. i think it was because i knew what i was getting into, and i stayed in the exact same place, so it was all familiar to me.

although i did try to use the public transport this time, instead of ubering everywhere, and the buses were so bad, but the trains were INCREDIBLE! they were double decker and the back support moved so you could have a single row or two rows of seats face each other??? SO COOL

anyways, me and my friend caught the train to the airport at 4am in the morning 😭😭😭 (and i finished work at 12am!!!!) to get our flight. once we landed in sydney, my friend wanted to get merch from the early presale stand outside the arena and we were outside in 30 degree heat FOR TWO HOURS, with our luggage. good news, my birthday is coming up and my friend didn’t know what to get me, so he bought half my merch 🤭 bad news, i’m ginger and i get sunburnt in two minutes, so think about two hours… the worst thing is we had an umbrella for sun protection, but my right arm and the back of my neck was out so they were FRIED. i’m currently peeling like a reptile but worth it

we got some food from maccas because we were dehydrated and getting heat stroke, and then checked into our room after we managed to get our stuff. we both ended up napping in the afternoon, which we were both surprised about, because i had my phone in my hand still attached to the charger next to my bed and he still had his genshin impact loaded up onto his ipad 😭😭😭

unfortunately the place i wanted to take him to for dinner, the really good japanese place from last time, was under renovation, so we had dinner elsewhere but we had such a good time the rest of our trip

because we went to see stray kids, a kpop group, we had a lot of activities we could indulge in. they had this thing called a cupsleeve event, where someone in the fandom designs a cupsleeve to represent a kpop idol’s birthday, group anniversary or in our case, coming to the city. and i got so many freebies! we went to this kpop store that doubled as a cafe and the drinks were so good! i bought way too much but i have to remind myself that i can’t get it at home 😔

we also went to the biggest bookstore i have ever seen in my life! it took up a whole floor of the shopping centre and it was brilliant. it had books upon books, categories after categories. they even had an entire chinese and japanese section! i also spent a lot of money there BUT my best find was the entire completed infernal devices manga trilogy!! it’s so beautiful and such a rare find, i grabbed it immediately. i couldn’t find the tmi graphic novels though, but they have them on their website, so i might order them in :)

alright, the main event! the concerts! so i went and saw the kpop group, stray kids, two nights in a row! it was amazing. i was and still am a huge fan of their work, but especially because they got me through a really hard time in my life and really were my serotonin while i was at school 😔 i wasn’t allowed to see them when they first came here four years ago (parents: maybe next year, they’ll come! *next year being 2020.*) so i feel like i finally made up for it.

me and my friend also matches outfits! we did black and green (the concert colours) on the first night, and red and white on the second (to match the stray kids colours). i wish i could send you photos, we looked so slay 🤩

i do not have one concert video without me screaming the lyrics (yeah the korean ones too!) in the back. but i don’t care, it was so fun, i had a blast. and it was even better because two of the members of stray kids were from sydney and they just made it feel more homely :) do not regret how much money i spent on them or the sleep i lost at all! i’m so glad i can slowly start to give myself the experiences i missed out on as a kid/teenager :’)

anyways, enough about me! how have you been? what have you been up to? how is simba? 🥺 i adore you so much and i am enclosing this letter with a warm hug <3333

hello nero my amazing perfect beloved soulmate <3

yay i’m so happy to finally hear about this trip!!! i just made myself a cup of tea and brought out some biscoff cream!!

how was the catching up part?? did you manage to catch up without exhausting yourself too much??

nero that’s so great!! i think that having a familiar surrounding is always helpful, and staying in the same place makes it all less scary somehow. i’m really happy it went much better!!

NO WAY THEY HAVE THOSE TRAINS THERE??? they look so cool!!! i’ve seen them on instagram once and i was so jealous of every city who had those trains!! you can literally choose if you want to sit alone or have company and that’s so cool!!! it’s basically a buildable environment!!! i’m getting way too excited about this lol

so you only had like three hours of sleep?? 😭😭😭😭 and you even had to stand in the heat for hours 😭😭😭 but yay!!! merch!!! that’s a really great birthday gift!!! (also when is your birthday??? only if you want to share of course <3)

anyway merch is so amazing and so expensive. this has got to be one of the best presents ever!!! even if it means you’re skinning like a reptile now lol at least it’s just two small spots instead of your whole self 😂 but i get the struggle. i’m not ginger but my skin is so light i always get sunburnt in 0.5 seconds too. definitely not fun, but worth it for some merch :D

that was probably a really fun situation to wake up to, but you both deserved a nap for catching a bus at 4am!!! especially since you had only a few hours of sleep after work!! at least you were rested enough to really enjoy the trip!!

oh no 😭😭 i’m still dreaming about that place!! i went to a my favorite japanese restaurant in my city a few days ago and i really wanted to try that beverage you told me about but i was driving so i couldn’t 😭 i hope this other restaurant was really good too though!!

no way!!! nero this is all way too cool!!! i’m so happy it was so fun and there were so many things to do!!! also this cupsleeves event sounds so cool!! i’m so happy nero, you’re making my day just by telling me about all these freebies and amazing drinks!! and you know i’m always gonna be the little devil on your shoulder telling you that spending money is good and you deserve all that amazing stuff :))

the tid manga trilogy??? how is that even possible omg you can’t find that anywhere!!!! i’m so jealous, i wanna live in this bookstore now 🥺 it’s got to be so amazing!! (you always find the best bookstores, i had no doubt there would be one in this letter too and i was so excited to read about it!!) and let me know if you do order the tmi graphic novels!! i’ve been trying to collect those too hehe

the fact that *next year* was 2020 is so painful. but you saw them two nights in a row!!! that’s amazing!! and it must have been so good to see them after so long, after they’d been by your side in a really tough time 🥹 i’m so happy you got to finally see them live!!

also, the matching outfits?? I LOVE THAT!!! i bet you looked so slay!!! that’s literally the best idea for what to wear to a concert!!!

nero i’m so so happy for you!!! you’ve made my whole day, i’m not even joking!! i’m so happy you’re finally getting to enjoy trips and concerts you couldn’t before!! and this one really sounded so perfect!!! also the videos with you screaming at the top of your lungs to every song are literally the best. i love it when i rewatch a video from a concert and i can hear myself screaming and crying and dying more than i can hear the band or the singer. it just makes me live all those memories and those amazing feelings again!!!

the money spent on this is totally worth it!!! and you can sleep now, uni can wait lol really nero i’m so happy this trip was so good!!! i’m so happy for you!!!

i’m good!! i got three days off from work this week so that was great, and i started to reread chain of iron so that i can reread chain of thorns right after :) i miss them so much already 🥲

anyway i just booked a trip for may, because a friend is coming to visit me and i’m gonna be off work for two weeks so i’m really looking forward to it and now i just wanna skip work and plan the itinerary 😂 and i want to book more trips too. which isn’t great because my bank account is already crying and begging me to stop buying stuff. did i tell you i got the illumicrate edition of chain of thorns with the alternative dust jackets? yeah so my bank account still hasn’t forgiven me for it :,)

simba is also doing really good, he’s eating a lot and sleeping a lot as usual 😌

also, ever since you told me about the rina sawayama concert, and because you always talked so much about her, i kinda started listening to her music a lot more and i’m obsessed with some songs now!!! i adore her style so thank you for this new obsession :>

i’m enclosing a warm hug for you too and a little bouquet of flowers <3

#i’m so happy you’re back!!!#nero my beloved!!! <3

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heartlessfujoshi · 7 months

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flufftober day 31 - aziracrow 'old friends'

Chapter: 6 of 6 Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: AziraCrow (Aziraphale x Crowley) Rating: Teen (Tooth-Rotting Fluff - Timeline what Timeline - Old Married Couple without being married - Minor Angst - First Kisses) WordCount: ~1,940 Prompt: Dreams Do Come True

Read: Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5

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Crowley carried his last plant up the stairs, finding the perfect home for it in the corner of the bathroom, close to a window because according to Aziraphale, plants preferred the sunlight. It sounded like a lot of hogwash to him, as he had been successfully growing his plants without seeing too much sun. As soon as he set the plant down, though, he saw it start to turn towards the stream of light, and he could have sworn he heard an audible sigh coming from it.

“Oh, it looks perfect there.” Speaking of the angel, he appeared behind him, and was clapping his hands in approval. “Didn’t I tell you it would look good here?”

“You did, Angel.” He smiled. He was doing that a lot more these days, thanks to his companion. He found himself spending more and more time here, which didn’t seem to bother Aziraphale. One day, his friend had offered to come live with him.

“You are spending a lot of time here now, Crowley.” Aziraphale was looking down at his book as he spoke, the two of them coming back down to the shop after a decent dinner of ribs and potatoes. Aziraphale really loved ribs, and Crowley thoroughly enjoyed watching him devour them like someone who hadn’t eaten in ten years.

“What about it?” He asked, not really sure where this was heading. “Do you want me to go, Angel?”

“Heavens, no!” Aziraphale quickly said, lifting his head up from looking at his book. “No, quite the opposite. I was rather hoping that you might like to spend all of your time here. That is, if it isn’t too much of a commitment.”

Crowley had to admit, it was a pretty good idea. He had really enjoyed sleeping in Aziraphale’s bed with him. The constant contact of his body next to his own had brought about a quiet joy that he wasn’t really ready to admit to. While he did like the freedom of being able to come and go as he pleased, he didn’t really see anything wrong with taking up residence with Aziraphale. They’d been friends for so many years, and he knew all of his ticks and issues.

“Sure.” He agreed. “My rent is nonexistent. I bought the place back in 1905, so might as well just keep it in case you get sick of me.”

“I don’t think that will ever happen, dear.”

“Never say never.”

It has been decided, and now here he was, moving the last of his plants into AZ Fell and Co. There were some scattered throughout the store, ‘brightening up a rather somber place’, as Aziraphale had mentioned. Aziraphale took over watering those plants, and Crowley was a bit upset to admit that yes, maybe they did respond better to the angel than they did to him. But he wasn’t going to take it personally.

“Why don’t we go out tonight?” Aziraphale suggested, as Crowley put his last suit into the closet, which had grown in size by some sort of miracle. It was astounding. Truly. He turned to look over his shoulder, and saw Aziraphale was watching him. “Wear that suit I bought you?”

“Must I?” He didn’t want to tell the angel that he’d only worn it the one time, as he was afraid of ruining it. It had been the best gift he’d ever received, and was rather hoping to not wear it again so that it could stay pristine forever.

“I would love it if you did.”

“Anything you wish, Angel.” And he meant it. If Aziraphale had asked him to renounce Hell right now, he would. It was a good thing he didn’t though, as he did like the perks of being how he was here on Earth.

He got freshened up, and put on the suit that he still couldn’t believe his friend had bought him. The tie was what really sold it, as it had tiny little snakes everywhere. Aziraphale was so thoughtful and kind. How he had managed to stay in his good graces all these years, Crowley didn’t know. But he was grateful, all the same, as being with Aziraphale made time on Earth much more enjoyable.

Aziraphale was dressed in a cream colored suit, looking more elegant than he’d seen him in a long time. “What’s the special occasion?” He asked, as he was surprised by Aziraphale looking so dapper.

“Does there need to be one?” Aziraphale turned, and began to walk down the stairs to the shop. “If we must have a reason, then you coming to stay with me is a good reason to celebrate.”

The angel did have a good point. “Okay. But I don’t see why you need to wear a suit. You looked fine in your vest and trousers, Angel.”

“Maybe I wanted to look good for you.”

His chest began to tingle in a way he was becoming all too familiar with, now that he was spending so much time with Aziraphale. “I think you look gorgeous.” He told him, staring into his eyes without his sunglasses for a few more minutes, before slipping them on to head out into the world. “Come on, Angel - let’s go paint the town red.”

“Oh, dear. I don’t wish for anyone to die tonight!”

“Angel, it’s an expression.” Crowley sighed, but kept a small smile on his face. “You should know better - I would never kill anyone needlessly. Not around you, at least.”

“Yes, well, thank you for that.” Aziraphale’s shoulders dropped in relief. “To the Ritz?”

Crowley took Aziraphale’s hand. “To the Ritz!”

It was quite crowded for a Friday evening, but since they were such regulars at the establishment, their wait had been minimal. It helped that Crowley sweetened the deal by giving plenty of cash to the hostess. He’d never tell Aziraphale that, though. He liked seeing his eyes light up by their minimal wait time, as if they’d been deemed the chosen ones. It was endearing.

He watched as Aziraphale ate to his heart’s content, while he sipped on a nice bottle of Bordeaux from the late 1800s. It had been the angel’s choice, which he knew had been because of him. Aziraphale knew how much he liked the expensive wines, as they tasted better than whatever grapes they were growing nowadays.

The orchestra began to play a waltz, and as Aziraphale set his napkins down on the table, Crowley stood up and offered him his hand. “Dance with me, Angel?”

The smile that lit up Aziraphale’s face made that warmth return to his chest, as he felt his delicate hand touch his own. “I would love to, dear.”

There weren’t too many people dancing, but it didn’t matter. He put his arm around Aziraphale, and pulled him close to his chest. “You know, Aziraphale…” He trailed off, unsure of how to say what he wanted to say.

“Yes, Crowley?” Aziraphale’s cherub face looked up at him, his eyes shining bright under the synthetic light of the electric chandeliers above their heads. “What is it?”

He couldn’t say the word. If he said the word, then it would be over. His demon card would be revoked, because how on Earth could a demon ever fall in….Fall in….

“Love.”

The word slipped out, and he saw shock cross over Aziraphale’s face. “C-Crowley, I-”

“Don’t.” He shook his head, feeling ridiculous. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s that!” He groaned, spinning Aziraphale around as the waltz continued. “I don’t know what that word means, or how it feels. I’m not supposed to, because of what I am.”

“You were once an angel too.”

Aziraphale was always quick to remind him of his past. “That doesn’t mean I remember.”

“There is a part of you that does.”

He stared into Aziraphale’s eyes. “If that’s true, then maybe I do love you. Am in love with you. You make this existence worth living in, Angel. And I’m glad you asked me to move in with you, because I’ve been rather lonely, and have been trying to find any excuse to spend more time with you.”

“Oh, Crowley.” His oldest friend pushed his face against his chest, and hugged him tight, their dancing coming to a stop as they finished this conversation he somehow got them involved in. “I wish I had known sooner, as I would have done this years ago.”

That surprised him. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” The weight on his chest lifted, as Aziraphale was now staring up at him, tears streaming down his face. “I love you, Crowley. I don’t care who you were, or what you are now. All I know is that you’re my very best friend, and I couldn’t imagine doing any of this without you by my side.”

Crowley stared in silence, still trying to process Aziraphale declaring his love for him too. He knew that saying that was also a risk for him, as they were making their true feelings known to each other. It felt different to hear it out loud, as a part of Crowley already knew that that was how Aziraphale felt about him. Just like he knew it was how he had always felt for the angel. Any time that he knew Aziraphale was in duress, he would rush to his side. It didn’t matter where he was in the world. He could always sense when something was wrong with Aziraphale, and would find him in a heartbeat. And now, he was confessing his love to him, something he’d only dreamed of happening a very, very long time ago.

Dreams, he guessed, sometimes do come true.

He slid his hand to rest against Aziraphale’s lower back. “Do me the honor of sharing another dance with me, Angel?” He requested, too afraid of letting him go.

“We’ll trip the light fantastic.” Aziraphale agreed, the bright smile on his face almost too bright for him, even with sunglasses on.

They danced for the better part of an hour, and when they made it back to their table, their check had been settled, while dessert sat there waiting for them. Crowley had prepaid for the meal, and told the staff to keep the change should they go below what he’d given to them.

“Oh, Crowley!” Aziraphale stared at the slice of cake in front of him. “You didn’t!”

“You said we were celebrating.” He reminded his friend, who picked up his fork and dove into the sugary treat. “What better way to celebrate than with cake, hmm?” “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“I’ll be sure to remind you of that every single day, Angel.” He winked at Aziraphale, pleased to see him so happy.

Back at AZ Fell, the two of them walked up the flight of stairs, feeling a bit more in tune with each other than before. Was it the words of love that had been exchanged between the two of them? Was it the happiness of knowing that Crowley would be here in the morning, and every morning after? Or was it simply the fact that two opposites had somehow found the right words to say to one another after spending thousands of years together?

As he got into his pajamas, Crowley decided it didn’t matter. All that really mattered to him was that Aziraphale was happy, and that made him happy. They could say love to each other as many times as they wanted. They could share kisses with each other whenever they wanted. The most important thing to him was that Aziraphale was, and always would be, his. And he would be Aziraphale’s.

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Cross-posted to AO3

#aziracrow #my writing #fanfic #flufftober 2k23

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harleysarchive · 3 years

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Monegasque Kiss | Charles Leclerc

Fandom: Formula one Warning: My favorite trope, pining after each other and then confess your love. Friends to lovers. 2500 words. I enjoyed writing this a LOT. Pairing: Charles Leclerc x neutral!reader Summary: You and Charles are pining after one another and it ends up with a kiss, with some help from Pierre Gasly

A/N: Once again I’m thanking Screnwriter’s prompts, nr. 10, for sparking my inspiration to write, your prompts are the best! Gif by dams-racing. Honestly, I’m having such a blast writing for Charles and the other drivers, it really inspires me to continue writing.

There were some perks with being friends with formula one drivers. For instance you could go watch them race and kick ass on the tracks. You had known Charles and Pierre since you were younger. You had the fortune to meet them when they raced go kart and you just happened to be in Monaco on vacation with your family when their race was there. You had met them by accident and the three of you had stayed in touch ever since that day. Even though you couldn’t meet them as much as you wanted, you were happy to accompany them on their races, especially when it was in Monaco.

You were by the docks looking at the people on their boats. Music started blasting through the speakers on the boats and people talked loudly to overpower the sound. Champagne was popping, spilling onto the wooden deck and laughter was heard from tipsy people. Girls were tanning on the deck and guys shouting at the people below. But you loved this, the commotion of people and how happy everyone was.

Screams were heard behind you when you saw that the big screen was showing all the drivers and that the drivers were posing in front of said screen. The crowd cheered the loudest when Charles' face was shown and he walked in front of it. Your heart made a jump when you saw him. Ever since that day many years ago, you had had a crush on Charles. But there was no way in hell that you were going to tell him that. Your friendship were too important to destroy by a stupid crush. But something inside you hoped, wished that he felt the same towards you.

Pierre had seen you on the docks and made his way over to you, hugging you from behind. You shrieked, but soon relaxed when you realized who it was. Pierre laughed loudly at your reaction.

“Pierre, you scared the living shit out of me.” you said and smacked him on the arm. His smile just grew even wider.

“I didn’t know that you would be here so soon, (Y/N). I thought me or Charles were going to pick you up at the airport when you landed.”

“No need to, plus I didn’t want to ruin your fashion show down there.” you said and winked at him. He shoved you slightly which made you giggle. The two of you walked towards one of the cafés. The weather was amazing. You and Pierre caught up with everything while waiting for Charles to arrive. Pierre talked about the race and how he had enjoyed some time to hang out with his friends. You talked about your life and what was going on there. This was the first race that you could attend in Europe and you were happy that it was in Monaco.

“So, anyone special at home?” he asked, with a look on his face like he knew something. You looked at him suspiciously.

“No, why?”

“Well you are beautiful. I just wondered why you haven’t found someone yet.” his smirk grew.

He definitely knew.

“Thank you, Pierre. I don’t know.” you tried to sound innocent and oblivious. “Maybe I haven’t found the right one.”

“Or the right one haven’t asked you.” he mumbled into his coffee, which made you turn bright red.

Charles was on his way to your location and he had stopped by a flower shop to buy you some flowers. It had been ages since he had seen you and he wanted to give you something. He had seen you and Pierre hug on the docks, which made him feel a wave of jealousy crash inside of him. But he didn’t want to admit it to himself. The two of you were friends, nothing more, nothing less. But god did he hope for more.

He rounded the corner to see the two of you talking at the café. The sting of jealousy came back again, because it looked like the two of you were on a date. But he tried to dismiss the thought and put on the biggest smile on his face. Pierre saw him first and waved him over, which made you turn to face him. Charles stopped in his tracks when his eyes met yours. His stomach filled with butterflies and he could feel his face getting flustered.

You rose from your chair to run to him and you gave him the biggest hug.

“God how I have missed you, Charles.” you said. He hugged you back and inhaled your scent. How he had missed your hugs and your scent.

“I have missed you so much, (Y/N).”

He let go of you.

“These are for you.”

He gave you the flowers he had bought and you had the biggest smile plastered on your face.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

“Thank you so much, Charles.” you beamed and smelled the flowers.

The two of you joined Pierre by the café and continued your chat for some time. You talked about everything and nothing.

“(Y/N), you should join us tonight at the party.” Pierre said.

“There’s a party tonight?”

“Yes, it’s on one of the yacht’s by the dock. I’m sure that you can come as our plus one.” Pierre said and winked at you, which made Charles' expression sour.

“Sounds fun and I get to hang out with you guys even more.” you smiled.

“Great, there will be more formula one drivers there tonight. But just stay close to us and you’ll be fine.”

“What time is it?”

“Around seven.”

“Great, can you pick me up by my hotel before that?”

“Of course.” they both said.

You grabbed your flowers and left them to get ready for the party. Inhaling the scent one once again and felt the butterflies go nuts in your stomach.

He gave you flowers!

At the hotel you had packed some more fancy clothes, in case this happened and now you were extremely happy that you did. You were done just in time when someone knocked on your door. Outside stood Charles in a blue shirt and he looked ravishing. You opened and his face flustered by your fancy attire.

“Wow, you look amazing.” he breathed. You blushed by his comment and invited him in. He closed the door and sat down on the bed.

“You know, you could’ve stayed at my place for your time here.” Charles said. You froze by his statement and he saw your reaction and he could feel the panic grow inside him.

“I-if you wanted, that is.” he stuttered trying to save the situation. “You are always welcome, you know.”

His hand touched his neck in a nervous gesture and his face was even more flustered than before. You tried to not think too much about what he said, he wanted to be a kind friend towards you. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Thank you, Charles. I will surely take that offer next time I’m in Monaco to see you.” you said and took one last glance in the mirror before the two of you headed for the lobby. The ride towards the party was fun, the two of you cracked jokes which made you cry with laughter. Charles felt proud that he could make you laugh like this and he enjoyed that the two of you were alone.

On the yacht there were people everywhere, talking, drinking, you think you saw someone making out with someone behind the stairs. To give the lovely couple some privacy you turned around to walk over to the bar. Charles and Pierre had to do some interviews and mingle with the bosses and such, which made you stand alone for a while. But you didn’t care, because then you could watch the different people that were at the party. You saw Lewis Hamilton, Max Verstappen and Sebastian Vettel. In one corner you could see Daniel Ricciarido laugh with some people you didn’t recognize.

Sebastian had seen you alone and came up to you. Charles had introduced you when Sebastian was racing for Ferrari and you could tell that Charles looked up to Sebastian. The two of you got along well as well, which made Charles even more happy. However, Sebastian could see the looks the monegasque racer gave you when you weren’t looking. The wistful and yearning looks that only a love-sick person could give. The slight tint of pink on his cheeks whenever you gave him attention or how his attention or body was always turned towards you, no matter what.

“Hey, (Y/N).” he said and embraced you.

“Hey, Sebastian.”

“Enjoying the party?” he said and let go of you.

“It’s nicer now that I have someone to talk to.” you joked and looked over to Pierre and Charles doing some interviews with reporters. Sebastian could see the look you gave them, especially Charles. He felt bad for you that you felt alone.

“Well, I can introduce you to some people if you want?” he asked. You nodded and followed him towards the crowd of the other racers. You met Max, Sergio and Lewis.

Charles had glanced over at you to see that you were doing okay, but that wave of jealousy came crashing inside of him when he saw you talking to the other racers. And with the jealousy came the worry. You turned around to meet his piercing eyes and you smiled at him. His insides melted by your smile and some of the worry and jealousy went away. Some of it, but not all.

When the interview was over he and Pierre went over to the bar. Charles ordered two drinks, one for him and one for you.

“Some encouragement?” Pierre asked.

“For what?”

“Asking (Y/N) to be yours?”

Charles almost choked on air by Pierre’s statement.

“What are you talking about? She is a friend.”

“Yeaaah, a friend that you like… or even more than that.”

Charles just shook his head and headed over to you. You smiled at him when he reached you and someone said that we should continue the conversation on the sofas nearby. The crowd started moving towards the sofas and somehow you didn’t get a seat. Pierre came by to slightly nudge you so that you lost your balance and landed in Charles lap.

“I’m so sorry.” you said frantic, feeling yourself getting flustered, but not as flustered as Charles. You tried to get up from his lap, but he wouldn’t let you.

“I-it’s fine. You can sit here, since there is no other room for you to sit.” he stuttered and eyed Pierre. Pierre just raised his glas towards him and continued his conversation with Esteban. Trying his best to look innocent, but it was exactly the opposite. You nodded and tried your best not to blush profusely. His body was radiating so much heat and you took some deep breaths and tried to relax. But the tention between you and Charles. You could cut it with a knife and you bet that the both of you were blushing messes at the moment. Charles didn’t know where to keep his hands and you didn’t want to move around to much. Charles wanted to both kill Pierre for doing this and thank him at the same time. But now he mostly wanted to kill him. You could feel how stiff your posture was in his lap and tried your best to not lean against him too much. But you wanted too. Charles' hand found its way on your lower back, to act as a backrest. You tried to act cool, but this whole situation made your mind and body freak out. How could you focus on anything else than Charles hand on you back? His warm body and his muscular thighs which you were currently sitting on?

You tried to continue your conversations with the boys. Throughout the night Charles got more and more bold with his actions. It started with that he rested his other hand on your thigh, which made you freeze when he did it, but you soon relaxed to his touch. Then he started to pull you closer to his chest so you were resting against his chest. You could feel it rise up and down, but he hoped that you couldn’t hear his racing heart over how close you were to him. Your arms snaked around his waist and you rested your head against his shoulder. He had a hard time breathing normally with you so close to him.

Later that evening Pierre joined you, which made you break apart from your cozy situation. You and Pierre were talking about some silly things, as usual, and now there was room for you to sit on the sofa, but you didn’t want to leave Charles' lap. Somehow, you had gotten into the topic of different kissing techniques. This made Charles pull you even closer to himself, as he didn’t like the topic that you and Pierre were discussing.

“Have you ever had a french kiss (Y/N)?”

“No, I don’t think so, why?”

“Well, there are a lot of french people here, would you like to try it with a real french man?” he smirked and you burst into laughter, which made you fall of Charles lap and landed between the boys instead. This made Charles expression sour even more. You and Pierre shared a loud and long laughter by what Pierre just said, but Charles… not so much. His eyes darkened as he looked over to his best friend.

“In your dreams, Pierre.” you said and dried away some tears and shoved him away from you.

“Perhaps, but it is certainly in someone else’s dreams.” he said and patted you on the knee and left. You looked at him confused and then turned around to Charles. His eyes were still dark as he followed Pierre, but his flustered cheeks told you something else.

“Do you know what he was talking about?”

Charles’ directed his attention towards you again, trying his best to look unbothered.

“No.” he lied.

You shrugged your shoulders and rose from the sofa.

“Come on, let’s look over the city.”

You grabbed his hand, feeling more bold now that you had sat in his lap for most of the evening. You dragged him towards the railing and looked over Monte Carlo. You hadn’t let go of his hand when you looked over the city. He drew you closer to him and you let your head rest on his arm. Then his curiosity sparked from the conversation you had with Pierre before.

“You haven’t had a french kiss?”

“No, I haven’t.” you laughed but tried to hide the nerves and your embarrassment over the topic. Charles nodded and turned around to face you. You looked at him curiously, which made his stomach do flips. How gorgeous you looked in this light, or in every light for that matter. Your smile, your hair, your laughter, you personality, it was all perfection to him. A wave of confidence crashed inside of him and he saw his chance now. He wanted to be with you and he hoped that you felt the same towards him.

It’s now or never, he thought.

“Well if you haven’t had a french kiss, you probably haven’t had a monegasque kiss.” Charles said with a smirk on his face. He let his hand touch your arm slightly, drawing circles on it.

“A monegasque kiss? What is that?” you asked.

“It’s like a french kiss but better.”

“Better?”

“Yes, because it is with me... “ Charles leaned in closer to you. “And you.”

He closed the gap between the two of you. One of his hands grabbed your cheek while the other hand was on your lower back, pulling you closer to him. Sparks flew as your bodies touched and you stopped breathing for a second, which made Charles nervous. But you soon realized what was happening and you moved in sync with his lips. It felt like no time had passed but your lungs were screaming for air. You broke apart from the kiss, looking into each other’s eyes.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” Charles breathed. You just beamed over what had just happened. Charles’ hand caressed your cheek.

“So… What Pierre said about me kissing a certain someone in a certain someone’s dreams. Was that you?”

“Guilty.” He said and from the back you could hear Pierre cheering and shouting something like ‘finally you guys did it!’.

You just laughed and kissed Charles again, which would be one of many kisses to come and quite frankly, you enjoyed the monegasque kiss much more than you would ever like any other kiss in the future.

A/N: Thank you for reading! 🥰

TAGS: @ohmyolympusssy @baueoud @marvelishgirl

#charles leclerc oneshots #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #f1 fandom #f1 imagine #f1 #imagine #imagines #charles leclerc imagines #harleysarchive

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jesslockwood · 3 years

Text

Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films.

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects.

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out.

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe…

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was.

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig.

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on.

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you.

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos.

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line.

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!”

“Have you seen him in Uncharted? We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op.

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink.

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side.

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask.

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment.

He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you.

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’ I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight.

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea.

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic.

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one, so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning.

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter.

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement.

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood.

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day.

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat.

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line.

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar.

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh.

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-”

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up.

You laugh at that.

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard.

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business.

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around.

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back.

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks.

You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie.

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

#tom holland #peter parker #marvel #spider-man #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #comic con #ace comic con seattle #ace con #comiccon #Katies4kwc

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unnuevosoltransformalarealidad · 3 years

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House Party

Summary: You were invited to a party, little did you know, your best friend would be there too Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader Squares: Smut for Make Me Feel Bingo // Sat on their lap instead of the chair for SPN Fluff // Jensen Ackles for Winchester & Beyond Bingo // Stolen Kisses for Any Fandom Fluff // Slow Burn for Tell Me A Story Bingo // Friends with Benefits for SPN Mixed Bingo Warnings: +18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT Friends to Lovers, Smutish, cockwarming, alcohol, party, dirty talk, teasing, no panties, jealousy (mention) Word Count: 1466 A/N: This is my first attempt to actually write some graphic smut, so please be nice. In here you will also find some bolded prompts for the 7k follower celebration of @negans-lucille-tblr’s This fic is unbeta’d so any mistakes (grammar, spelling, etc) are mine.

It was Tuesday night when your calendar app notified you that you had your best friend Muni’s house party on Saturday. You texted her and agreed to meet on Thursday to buy clothes for the party. You bought a two-part dress that you certainly were going to wear almost no underwear because it was really tight. You felt insecure by wearing something that tight but you couldn’t deny you looked amazing.

When you arrived at Muni’s house, there were many people, and it was just less than an hour since it started. You saw some mutual friends, some men were drooling while staring at you. You were aware of that, but they didn’t care you could see them. In a way it made you feel uncomfortable. You were checking your phone every now and then like you were expecting a call or something.

You were about to flirt with a guy when you saw someone’s back. You could recognize that back everywhere. It was Jensen Ackles, he made it to the party. The last time you saw him, you were drunk and having sex. Amazing sex if you could brag out, the best you’ve ever had. You were staring at him when he turned around and saw you, he had a small smile, but then he saw what you were wearing and his eyes filled with lust. Yes, you were some feet away from him, and still, you were able to feel his intense gaze, he was undressing you with his eyes and you were ruining your panties to just thinking of him. You smirked at him, smiled like you were the only ones in the room, and went to find Muni. You were with Muni dancing and talking with some of her friends when you felt a presence behind you. You knew it was him, that unique scent he has, the perfume he wears, that undeniable presence you could identify without thinking. Your body reacted at him, not the way you were expecting but you pressed and grind your butt against him.

-Hey sweetheart — he said to your ear, pulling a hand around your waist and getting you closer to him Your whole body shivered at hearing him in such a low tone. You kept grinding your ass against him. You turned around and gave him a quick peck on the lips and then you left. Jensen was perplexed and you were red in embarrassment. Thank god for the alcohol you were drinking, sober you’ve never acted this way.

Jensen was one of your best friends and you were madly in love with him. You thought he was not interested in you, at least not like you wanted, you had sex with him in the past, but never flirted back the way it did today. He was different, he encouraged you to keep moving your ass against his crotch, he never stopped you. And when you kissed him, he never backed away. Your panties were ruined by now, you could feel how wet they were. You were ruined.

-Have you seen how Jensen looks at you? — Muni asked you Jensen appeared in front of you, stole a kiss and he continued his way. You were frozen, you weren’t expecting it at all -Oh my god — Muni exclaimed — What the hell just happened? She was surprised, she had never seen Jensen acting that way with anyone, not even with you. -He is so into you. Buying that dress was the best decision you could ever make. -I still hate it. It’s too tight — you complained -Well, Jensen loves it. He can’t take his eyes off you. Clearly, he wants you in his pants -Half the men in here want the same thing. Besides, he just sees me as his friend, nothing more -Babe, the way he is looking at you, and behaving around you, doesn’t show him as just a friend. He is interested in you -He is just teasing. He would never be interested in me — you admitted sadly -Let’s wait until the party ends, and then you tell me. You’ll thank me later — he said and left you alone Wherever you were going, you could feel Jensen’s intense glare following you. Maybe Muni was right and he was interested in you, or maybe just wants sex. It wouldn’t be the first time, sex without feelings.

You needed to go to the bathroom and he was just in the way. Two can play the game. You approached him and gave him a long kiss. He grabbed you from your waist deepening it. You broke the kiss and before he could say something you kept walking. You’ve just ruined a friendship. This was the end. Once in the bathroom, you checked your panties, as you expected, they were a mess. It was getting uncomfortable to have them wet, so you took them off and threw them on the laundry basket that Muni has there hidden. No one would know you are not wearing panties, the bottom of your dress is too tight. You felt uncomfortable at first, but you tried to not think about it.

When you got back to the party, Jensen was out of sight. You felt bad, it was your fault, you made him feel uncomfortable and he left. You went to the kitchen to grab another beer when you spotted him sitting alone with his phone in one of the corners. You grabbed two beers and went where he was seated -Nobody puts baby on the corner — you said while sitting on his lap instead of a chair He smiled and grabbed one of the beers opening up and handing it to you, grabbing the other for him. You accommodate yourself in his lap, making sure to press your ass against his semi-hard cock. Jensen could feel you and with his free hand, he grabbed you from your waist putting the hand over your thigh. Just feeling his cock through the fabric and his hand on your thigh, you were getting even wetter. Jensen squeezed your thigh and kissed you on your neck -Don’t you get tired of teasing? Wearing that tight little dress giving nothing left for the imagination? -Mhm… Jay — you moaned moving your ass He moved the hand that was on his thigh higher to the hem of your skirt. You opened your legs. You seated sideways on his lap, putting one arm around his neck and the other near his crotch -Mmm sweetheart, you feel what you do to me? You make me get jealous of everyone wanting to devour you. -But I want you, not them— you said moving your hand to his crotch Jensen moved his hand higher and looked at you with lustful eyes. He smirked at you when he realized you were wearing nothing -What a naughty girl, no wearing any panties — he moved his hand inside your skirt -I bet you are really wet You moved your hand to his zipper -Please, Jens — you moaned Jensen was hard, his cocked throbbed when you grabbed from under his underwear. You could feel the tip getting wet with precum. Jensen opened your legs a little more and moved a finger along your folds -Mmm baby, you’re so wet You opened his jeans and took his cock out. You got up and Jensen with wide eyes open realized what were you going to do -Are you getting my cock warmed? — He said helping you to sit on his cock -Mhm… Jens — you moaned while kissing him

You’ve had sex with him before, but today he was a lot bigger than you expected. Probably it was the position you were both seated, he filled you up and reached places no one has ever touched. He held you in place and started to kiss you. You could feel his cock getting harder inside you. You tried to circle your hips while making out with him, you needed the friction, but Jensen held you in place. -Jens… — You broke the kiss -What is it, baby? -I don’t know how long I will resist without moving -Me neither, sweetheart. I want you so bad -I want you too — You gave him another kiss — Let’s go to the guest room, I’m staying there tonight -Tomorrow I’ll take you on a date. That’s a promise

When you moved from his lap, you felt empty. He was quick to fix his pants and then you grabbed his hand, ready to be fucked out by your best friend. Muni saw that you were taking him to your room and smirked. A minute later you got a text “I told you. Please be quiet. I want all the details.”

Tag List (Is Open - ask to be added)

#bees7ksoftheweekchallenge #Tell me a story bingo #Make Me Feel Bingo #spnfluffbingo2021 #winchesterandbeyondbingo #anyfandomfluffbingo #spnmixedbingo #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #Supernatural RPF

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jaskiersvalley · 3 years

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🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

This has been in my inbox for quite a while so I really hope you're still in the fandom XD As thank you for your kind message here is something really rather silly.

It had all started out with the stupid raccoon that rifled through Jaskier's bins. The mess it left behind was unbelievable, like a small, localised tornado had been by, specifically over Jaskier's bins. No matter what he did, how he weighed down the lids, there was a mess every morning. At first Jaskier tried to be more conscious of what he threw away, less food in the bins, even ate more healthily because the raccoon seemed more interested in sweet things most nights. Except for the time it seemed to go absolutely feral with the tiny styrofoam shapes from a delivery Jaskier had. When nothing else worked, Jaskier got locks on his bins. However, his raccoon must have been working out because the locks were forced off his bins and the jumper he'd put in the bin because of a hole in the elbow had disappeared. That was when Jaskier decided to invest in a wildlife camera, this was a raccoon he needed to see.

Setting it up, Jaskier did feel a little foolish. It wasn’t like the raccoon came by every night and this time he really wanted to see it. The plan was to catch it with the net he’d invested in and relocate the little bastard somewhere that wasn’t his bins. To make sure he got the raccoon on camera, Jaskier set out a couple of honey drenched pastries to lure it in.

Sleep was difficult, Jaskier wanted to watch the camera but he was an adult and knew he needed to sleep. With great difficulty, he managed to get some rest and even succeeded in going in to teach rather than call in sick so he could watch his tape. Instead, he invited Valdo over to watch with him, knowing that his claims of a muscly raccoon would never be believed.

“Right, drinks, wine?” He asked, already grabbing a bottle and two glasses.

“I’ll order the pizza I guess,” Valdo replied, resignedly pulling his phone out. “Your usual?”

“Darling, I’m providing booze and entertainment in my home, you know the least you can do is buy me pizza.”

It was a tradition of sorts, Jaskier hated Valdo’s place, finding it too drab and grey. It didn’t matter that Valdo had magazine to prove that it was the latest fashion. And the bastard had the gall to say Jaskier was the one who pandered to the masses.

Now, they had wine in hand, the TV on and playing. Jaskier had to admit, it was pretty boring.

“Oh look, a moth,” Valdo drawled, sipping at his wine. “Maybe it flaps its wings so hard it messes with your bins.”

“Shut up.” The wine was disappearing at a steady rate and both their cheeks were getting rosy. Perhaps alcohol before food had been a rather unwise idea. “Here, I’ll speed it up until something comes along.” And something had to, the pastries were gone by the morning. They watched as moths, the odd cat and rat scuttled by.

“There!” Valdo yelled and pointed at the screen. As quickly as he could, Jaskier slowed it back down. They leaned forwards as one, seeing something large and dark move in the corner of the screen. Suddenly the darkness became a blur and both of them screamed, clutching at each other. A man stepped up to the pastries, hunching over the plate and stuffing them in his mouth at an impressive rate.

Just as they were over the shock, the man looked up. His eyes, like a cat, reflected the light as he looked at the camera, head tilted. Once again, Jaskier and Valdo screamed, leaping towards each other for protection, wine sloshing everywhere. It seemed the man had no idea what the camera was, giving it a good, long look before turning to have a rummage in the bins.

“That’s a really big fucking raccoon,” Valdo whimpered and Jaskier smacked him on the arm. “You’re going to need a bigger net.”

Laughing nervously, Jaskier shook his head. He didn’t know what to make of it, a large, long haired man with scary eyes had made a habit of rifling through his rubbish.

“Sleepover,” he declared. “You’re staying here. And we’re putting more food out.”

“You don’t want to encourage him! What if he’s, you know-” Valdo broke off, “-a vampire.”

“They’re not seen on films and their eyes don’t do that. Could be a shifter.”

“Sasquatch’s freaky cousin.”

“An eldritch horror!”

“A cryptid!” That actually seemed to fit. Still, cryptids needed feeding, Jaskier was not going to be mean. So far, other than his bins, nothing untoward had happened. “I’ll leave him some pizza.”

Drinking, Jaskier decided, was definitely not his best idea. He groaned as he sat up, Valdo snoring away next to him. He remembered most of their previous night and cursed; they didn’t just leave pizza, they left a note too.

Dear Mr. Cryptid, Please don’t eat us, eat the pizza instead. Love, Valskier

Rushing out, Jaskier saw that the pizza was gone, the note was crumpled on the ground and there was a bite missing from it. At least he now knew the shape of the cryptid’s bite.

“Wake up!” He poked Valdo in the side. “We need to watch this before work.”

It was the right choice. Jaskier spent the rest of the day thinking about the strange man with the even stranger eyes inspecting the pizza, giving it a sniff while the note was on top of it. And taking a large bite out of it all. While the pizza was given a second and third bite, the note had been inspected, given a lick before being cast aside. The camera also gave them a very good view of the man, bulging arm muscles, long, probably white or blonde hair. In short, Jaskier was fucked. He bought a whole cake and left it out that night.

The strange cryptid began to show up more regularly but at least he stopped making a mess of the bins. Jaskier tried leaving a few more notes but, after watching the man squint at the note before trying to take a bite out of each and every single one, he gave up.

“What’s the latest on your cryptid?” Valdo asked in the staff room. Rather than reply, Jaskier pulled his phone from his pocket and hit play on the video.

This time, it wasn’t his usual long haired cryptid man. Instead, it was two others with the same creepy eyes, scurrying past, snagging the hot dogs Jaskier had left out and shoving the bins over for good measure as they ran. His usual cryptid didn’t show up that night.

“I told you!” Valdo screeched, earning a few scathing looks. “You feed one and more come along.”

The following night, Jaskier put out more food, hoping it would be enough for everyone. He was almost scared to watch the footage the next day but was so glad he did. All three of the cryptids lingered near the camera, eyes flashing. However, Jaskier’s blood chilled when he spotted another pair of eyes in the background, watching but not approaching.

Looking back on the videos, he was appalled to find that an extra pair of glowing eyes was often in the background. Maybe it was a mate or a very shy cryptid. Either way, Jaskier wanted to see.

“Oh. It’s an injured one!” Jaskier breathed, appalled. He had upgraded his camera and had managed to turn the contrast up enough to make out a face. In a way, he almost wished he hadn’t because the sight was so terrible. The shy cryptid was scarred beyond belief, lip caught in a permanent snarl. He seemed the most distrustful of the camera, never approaching. But, once, Jaskier watched as a hand reached in front of the camera, snagged the sugar laden jelly pot and the camera was knocked askew. Just about visible after a few minutes was a broad back in a striped and spiked coat as it retreated. From then on, Jaskier made sure to leave soft foods out too.

“Didn’t you say your raccoon had a field day with styrofoam pellets?” Valdo asked. The school had taken a delivery of biology samples which arrived in boxes filled with the stuff. Together, Jaskier and Valdo poured as much of the pellets into a box as they could and they were left out alongside the offering of food.

That night, Valdo stayed over and neither of them slept. Instead, the TV showed the camera’s feed. It was about 3am, both of them were drooping when there was movement.

“Look!” Jaskier nudged Valdo who woke with a snort. On the screen, the original, long haired cryptid had a hand clasped around the wrist of the injured one and was dragging him into view. Behind them were the other two Jaskier had seen before. He gasped, “They’re a family, aren’t they?”

“They’re something alright. Maybe it’s cryptid double date night?”

Fascinated, they watched as the four of them inspected the box. It was the smallest of the lot, one of the two Jaskier had only ever seen together that stepped into the box, hands digging into the pellets. The grin on his face spoke volumes. The other once jumped in too, the two of them beginning to wrestled for who got to sit in the box. All while, the pellets were tumbling out, making the original cryptid and the scarred one hop back. They stared at the styrofoam like it had personally offended them. Without sound there was no way to hear it but Jaskier was convinced they hissed at it. Hesitantly, the scarred one picked up a couple and, without and warning, threw it in the air. They all darted away from it, glaring as it dropped. Once again, the smallest crept closer, darting in to pick up a handful and toss it into the air, sending them scattering again. However, when the styrofoam didn’t attack, he got braver, his mate stepping closer too. All too soon, they were all tossing handfuls of sytrofoam in the air and running around. It was all fun and games until the larger of the pair picked up the box and tossed it. The scarred one caught it but staggered and crashed into the bins.

Jaskier jumped as the clatter of his bins falling over rudely reminded him of just how close the cryptids were. It felt much more distant when they were just on his TV. Tense, he clutched at Valdo’s sweaty hand and they watched as the cryptids ran away from the scene. The next morning, Jaskier had so much styrofoam to clean up, he regetted ever listening to Valdo.

Now that he knew that the cryptids could play, Jaskier decided that they were probably intelligent beings, it was a simple matter of finding a way to communicated.

“I’ve written a will, told my parents I love them and cleared my internet browsing history,” he told Valdo. “If anything happens, you know which box in the bedroom to burn, right?”

“You crazy bastard, don’t go out there!”

Jaskier held aloft the tray of foods, trying to look self assured. “I have new friends to meet. Wish me luck.”

With that, he marched out, ready to settle in for a long wait, confident that Valdo would keep an eye on him via the camera. As he’d said, he had new friends to meet, he just hoped they wanted to meet him too.

#jaskier & valdo #jaskier #valdo marx #geralt of rivia #lambert #aiden #eskel #modern au #tldr: jaskier feeds some cryptids

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lucemferto · 3 years

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

117 notes · View notes

yanderefer · 4 years

Note

C-can you p-please do yandere onceler x reader oneshot but he is evil but still okay?? uwu

since you’re the first to ask whatever you say goes i guess. i’ve only ever seen the lorax movie and am not in that fandom so uh, hope his personality is alright. not a specific ask so i just did a scenario i thought of. i did my best. enjoy. there’s changing perspectives marked by the heart dividers. also i forgot he wears a hat so he is hatless.

Scenario: An Act of Kindness

Word Count: 3.5k

Despite being the town outcast, you were able to observe the daily events of the town square without being harassed. That was mostly because of the people who usually ended up in the square. Quite often would outside people come and try to pitch some crazy new idea; starry-eyed yet full of underlying greed. But, this guy was different.

He’d been coming around pretty often now; the thneed guy. In the beginning, you had just rolled your eyes seeing him setting up in the gazebo. You’d hear him sing about his ridiculous invention, only to be harshly booed by a larger and larger crowd. Now there was almost anticipation from the heckling people, waiting to chuck more tomatoes at the poor, strangely stubborn guy.

Seriously, why hadn’t he given up? He was chased away and made fun of every day and would leave to go to who knows where. Yet he always came back, continuing to sing that stupid song about thneeds.

So that leads to now. You doing something out of character.

The sun was setting as people left the square, bored after a day without tomatoes to throw. This was the first time you had seen him so upset. Although very obviously naïve, the black-haired man was overwhelmingly passionate about his…craft, so you felt sympathy. Looks like his guitar got smashed, which you supposed is why he looked so downtrodden.

You didn’t like seeing the stubbornly positive guy look so hopeless.

“Hey.” With your hands in your pockets you strolled toward the bench he was slouching on. The broken guitar was next to him. “Could I sit next to you?”

He didn’t respond. You frowned. It looks like he couldn’t even hear you. With a loud sigh, you kicked at the bench. “Dude. I’m talking to you. Your guitar is in my spot.” Finally, he looked up, eyes shooting open and staring for a moment too long before stuttering out an apology. You sighed and sat down once he moved the broken instrument. It was amusing how he was fidgeting, obviously nervous, and maybe not prepared for anyone to actually talk to him. “What’s your name?”

“Huh?” He rubbed his arm, still staring at you.

“I’m not just going to call you the thneed guy. What’s your name.”

“Oh! It’s Onceler.” He reached out his gloved hand, and you raised your brow. You gave your name in return and shook his hand, ignoring the dirty glove. After the handshake, he continued to fidget. Onceler would look around then look back at you, almost disbelieving. Were you intimidating or was he just not used to people?

“So, Onceler,” You resisted a chuckle at his name, “What’s got you down?” You rested your elbow on your leg and rest your head on your palm, watching him.

“Oh. Uh. Well, you see…” Onceler fidgeted his fingers, eyes looking anywhere but you. He seemed to still be confused as to why you were talking to him, cheeks flushing red. He kept mumbling out random filler words before letting out a large sigh, deflating. “A little girl broke my guitar.” You nodded, pursing your lips. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. “And, well, you know, this guitar kind of…meant a lot to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now it’s broken and, well, I’ve got nothing to show for it.” Onceler held up the pink piece of clothing that was beside him, frown deepening, “I think that maybe now is the time I should give up. Throw in the towel.”

“What?” You were alarmed. You honestly felt really sad for Onceler. He was just a naïve guy chasing his passions, courageous enough to put himself out there. You couldn’t in good conscience just watch such a positive person become hopeless. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Onceler laughed, gaze sad, “I’m a failure. Everyone hates my thneeds. Everyone hates me. I shouldn’t have moved out here in the first place.” He covered his face with his hands, mumbling under his breath, “My parents were right.”

“Knock it off,” You smacked Onceler upside the head, and he let out a squeak of alarm. He grabbed the back of his head and gave you the most confused look you’d ever seen. “Don’t be all pessimistic. Doesn’t suit you.” You clicked your tongue when he still kept staring at you blankly, looking to have zero thoughts in his head.

You reached over and somewhat aggressively took his thneed, messing around with it in your hands before holding it out in front of you. You first put it on your head as a hat but felt it was stupid. Then you tried wearing it as a scarf...Success! Somehow this is the most comfortable thing you’ve ever worn.

Onceler sat there staring stupidly, and you turned to him with a grin. “Hey, it’s actually pretty good. You made this yourself, right?” Onceler nodded, eyes wide. “It’s creative, but I’m just going to use it as a scarf. How much is it?” You reached into your pocket, ignoring the spluttering mess beside you.

“Wait wait wait–you…you want to buy it!?” Onceler turned to you in absolute disbelief, making you roll your eyes.

“Isn’t that why you kept coming here? The price. Spit it out.” You snuggled a bit into the thneed, smiling. It gave you warm comfort, like the material was made of clouds, or the sun was being absorbed by it. You saw his face turn completely red, and you raised a brow. “What, did you not think of a price?”

“O–Oh! No, no not that. Um, it’s, well,” He told you how much it cost and you dutifully handed him the bills. It wasn’t that expensive, surprisingly. This was a very good deal, and you were forever comfy now.

“Nice.” You happily lifted the thneed and rubbed it on your cheek, not realizing you were smiling sweetly. You noticed the sun was almost behind the horizon and it was getting dark. Distracted, you missed the strangely reverent gaze the man beside you held. “Well, looks like I’m out of here.”

“Huh?” Onceler jolted, and you laughed. He was kind of an airhead.

“It’s getting late. You should probably head back too.” You stood up and patted your pants, readjusting the thneed around your neck.

“Will you…” Onceler suddenly spoke up, and you turned to face him. He stuttered a bit more then went silent, blushing brightly in shame. You rolled your eyes, putting a hand on his head. You ruffled his black hair, before pulling back with a grin.

“Don’t act so unconfident. I think you have a real future with this thneed thing. I believe in you.” You hoped that gave him some confidence. “So, you better come back tomorrow. I’d be bored if you didn’t.” You gave a crooked grin, tilting your head. Onceler frantically nodded, jumping to his feet and leaning forward before abruptly backing away. He gave a very shaky “goodnight” as he turned tail and ran, lanky body unsteady.

He tripped and fell on his face.

You covered your mouth.

He got back up and shouted an, “I’m okay!” before running off.

Once he was out of sight, you burst out laughing. You laughed more than you had in years.

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

Onceler ran all the back to the forest, barely paying attention to the goldfish throwing cards at each other. The bears were mostly retreating since it was night, and he couldn’t see the Lorax anywhere. With a relieved sigh he ran to his–for once animal free–home.

He entered and slammed the door behind himself, before sliding to the floor with his gloved hands over his face. Onceler could still feel the heat from his face despite his thick gloves.

Was that a dream? No, that really happened. Onceler didn’t even imagine it! That really just happened!

You really talked to him!

Since he’d been going to the town he’d been getting harassed left and right. The number of tomatoes and insults was uncountable (today somebody had actually destroyed his guitar!) but he always noticed somebody who actually listened when he presented.

It was you! Onceler smiled, still covering his face. He was so flustered. You always stood to the side and never threw anything or yelled at him. You came by every day for varying amounts of time, but today you actually approached him!

You were one of the reasons Onceler kept going to town because he knew if he went he could see you at least for a moment. He admired you so much. He was always so afraid to go up to you since you were so…unreachable. You were so perfect and confident and nice and flawless. And your name was just as wonderful as you were.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that you would really come and talk to him; comfort him. You pat him on the head and said such nice things. You said you believed in him.

Onceler suddenly jumped to his feet in excitement, dancing around the room with uncontained giddiness. It was his first-ever sale and that was amazing in itself but it was so much more because you bought it. His first ever thneed that he made was sold to you. He didn’t know what to do. He was filled with so many emotions that he thought he was going to explode. This was just the first step. Onceler already thought you were great before, and this just proved his theory. Now he needed to wait for you to feel the same thing for him–and he would start by cultivating a great friendship!

You looked so happy wearing the thneed that Onceler painstakingly made. It made everything worth it. You told him to come back tomorrow so that’s what he would do! He already had another thneed done to present with.

…

Onceler had been playing for a while, using the spare ukulele he found in his car trunk. He ignored the booing and noticed they were out of tomatoes still–like yesterday. He was relieved since now you would see him without all that gross red gunk.

After playing for a long time, looking everywhere, he grew antsy.

Where were you?

Since he’d been coming here you’d at least walk by even if just for a minute. Onceler continued to play but slowly became more disheartened. Did you…not mean what you said? Did you realize that he actually was a failure?

With all those harrowing thoughts he slowly stopped playing and walked off the stage. The smaller crowd was almost disappointed to have their daily harassment cut short, but decided to gossip loudly instead. Onceler sat on the bench from the night before, holding a thneed to his chest for comfort.

“That’s pretty intense.”

“Gosh, I know, right? It’s not like they ever bothered to fit in with us, so I guess it’s almost comeuppance? Really harsh, though.”

Onceler perked up, hearing your name come up in their conversation. Worry washed away the disappointment from before. Did something happen to you?

“They probably won’t be leaving the house for a while, I reckon. I know I wouldn’t. Muggings never happen in this town.”

Onceler gripped the ukulele’s neck, and it creaked.

“What was even stolen? They don’t ever carry a bag or wallet. Not much money can fit in pockets.”

“That’s the funny thing–apparently the muggers tried to take their…what was it…it’s that thing that annoying guy's always selling.”

“The thneed thing?”

“Mhm. That. Anyways, they fought back against the muggers and ended up getting really roughed up. I mean, I heard those muggers also got pretty beat up too, but nobody knows where they are. It’s kind of funny that the muggers even took the thneed thing, especially when that person fought so hard to keep it. They went to a hospital, all for a piece of cloth.”

The ukulele creaked, then snapped. Onceler abruptly stood up, surprising the three older women behind him. “They were…hospitalized?” Onceler’s voice was even, no indication of being upset.

One woman gave him a weird look, before shrugging. “Mhm. But I heard they ran off right back home without being fully treated. They don’t like being around people. It’s why they never are around town.” The woman spoke with slight contempt, before scuttling off with her two friends.

Onceler kept holding the broken ukulele by the neck, mind spinning with the new overload of information. You got mugged. You didn’t comply because you didn’t want them to take your thneed. You got hurt. You got hurt.

And nobody cared. No, from what he could tell, those women were somehow happy about it. Onceler realized you never interacted with anyone when you stood close to the square. Everyone treated you like you were invisible.

An outcast.

Onceler ran through town, going up to random people and asking if they knew where you lived. Most gave him disdainful looks and ignored him, and some just yelled. Finally, a kid actually answered him by pointing in a direction.

“They live in that old house at the edge of town. I heard it’s haunted. You shouldn’t go, my mommy said the person living there is weird.” Onceler grit his teeth, forcing himself not to lash out. After running some more, he finally reached your house.

...A really run-down house.

It was worn down, the wooden walls old and unsafe looking, the grass around the house matted and uncared for. Onceler went to knock on the door before stopping himself. He went to the side and looked through the window instead, seeing you on the couch watching something on TV. You were wrapped in bandages in a bunch of places, with a large medicinal patch on your cheek and a swollen eye.

Onceler was relieved to know you were okay, before becoming enraged at how hurt you were. He saw a variety of medications on the table along with an opened first aid kit. You looked strangely serene in your situation, not upset in the slightest. Like you were used to it.

Onceler backed away from the window and furrowed his brows. He wanted to go in and confront you, ask why you did something so dangerous just to protect his useless work. But then he thought about it.

…This means you like him too, right? Why else would you fight to keep something he made?

Onceler rubbed the back of his head, happy but not fully. You really liked the thneed he made, so he didn’t want to give you a replacement. That one was important. It was the most meaningful since it was his first one. You were hurt and he needed a way to comfort you without being too overbearing. Plus, there was this leftover…anger?...in his chest that he needed to get rid of. Those muggers needed to suffer the consequences. Onceler thought about it a bit, then his eyes light up.

He knew what to do.

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

You were eating dinner when you heard a knock on the door.

That was new.

You dragged yourself to your feet. Only curiosity drove you to open the door, not really thinking if it could be dangerous. Nobody ever visited you. You opened the door, out of breath from walking.

“…Onceler?” You blinked a few times, wondering if you were seeing things.

“Ah–Yup! It’s me!” He smiled brightly, hands behind his back and rocking on his feet. You rose a brow.

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard rumors about what happened and got worried, so, well, I, uh, just asked around and, um, I also wanted to help so I decided to–”

“Just come in.” You left the door open and walked back to the couch, plopping down and breathing shakily. You closed your eyes briefly to steady yourself, still weak from the encounter last night. You opened one eye and stared at Onceler, seeing him standing in the middle of the room, staring. “What are you holding?”

Onceler jolted, before revealing the thneed behind his back.

“You got me another one? Thanks.” You appreciated that at least. Hopefully, it was free. You really liked those things and the muggers took your cash.

“O–Oh, no, I didn’t do that,” You frowned at him, “I thought that, um, wasn’t fair really.” You were confused. He saw your face and flushed red, “I got it back! For you. The first one. That those muggers took.” Onceler smiled proudly, walking over and presenting the thneed to you.

“Huh?” You hesitantly reached out a took it, “I–what? How?”

“I! Well, I just kind of,” Onceler twiddled his thumbs, looking away while still blushing, “I just got it back. I…found them. And took it back.” You studied him a bit, watching his jittery behavior. But then you looked at his face and saw two bright, innocent eyes. “Are you happy? Do you like it?” Onceler leaned forward, smiling hopefully.

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, looking at the thneed closely. You move it around and hold it out in front of you. “Huh. It really is mine.” It had the marking you put on it after you bought it. A little initial in the corner of it. You shrug it around your neck, patting it back into place like it was yesterday.

“O–Of course! I thought you, well, I wanted you to keep my first one.” Onceler blushed and waved his hands. “Not in a weird way or anything! It’s my first sale so…it’s important you keep it.” You nod along, figuring it made sense.

“Thanks. I’m glad you got it back for me. Don’t know how you got it, but it makes me feel a lot better, so I don’t care.” You held it close and smiled, rubbing the soft material on your cheek again. “You can sit down next to me.” You gestured to the spot. Onceler brightened up and smiled before almost tripping as he rushed over. He sat down.

“I’m so glad you feel better.” Onceler rubbed his arm, head turned away shyly. “It really sucks that those horrible people did that.” You listened to him while looking at your thneed, nose twitching.

“Huh.” You tilted your head, “I think that’s a bloodstain.” Onceler tensed next to you, but you didn’t bother looking up. “I should probably wash it since it got dirty in the fight. It’s surprisingly sturdy.” Onceler let out a sigh and relaxed.

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. You should do that.” Onceler sounded strangely relieved. About what? You’ve got no clue.

“I’ll do it later. Want to watch a movie with me?” You rested your legs on the table, grabbing the remote. Onceler flushed with a bright smile.

“Of course!”

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

While you watched the movie, Onceler looked at the stained thneed around your neck, tempted to wash it right now. It was dirtied by the blood of those–Onceler shook his head. Thankfully you already came to your own conclusion as to how he got the thneed back.

“You’re not wearing your gloves today.”

“Huh?” Onceler blinked, snapping back to reality. He nervously looked down at his hands, “O-Oh. Well, I usually keep them on since I work with trees a lot…”

“Like chopping them down?”

“Once. I just harvest tufts now. I figure somebody would be mad if I cut down more trees, especially since I’m living in that forest for free.”

“That’s kind of you. But, since you aren’t wearing your gloves, why’d you bring an axe? I saw it on the ground by my door.”

“My axe?” Onceler twitched, looking away. He quickly recouped and smiled shakily. “I thought maybe I could help with your house a bit. Chop down some of the trees on the other side of the town away from where I live and repair the walls. That’s why I brought it.”

“Really? That’s sweet, I guess. You don’t have too. Plus, that axe was the rustiest axe I’ve ever seen so it could never cut down a tree anyways. Once I’m better we can work on the house together–only if you want to, though. I could buy us new axes too.” You smiled, making Onceler turn bright red again.

“That sounds super fun!” Onceler sat up straight and clasped his hands together in excitement. “Maybe I can sell more thneeds so we can keep buying materials.” Onceler’s foot kept tapping, body jittering with giddiness. You laughed into your palm, shaking your head slightly before nudging his shoulder.

“Sure. I’ll hold you to it.”

You went back to the movie, leaning back into the couch. Onceler followed suit but mostly watched you instead of the movie. He was amused at your questions from earlier, realizing you were a lot more unaware than you seemed.

Onceler hadn’t meant to bring his axe with him–he just got so excited to see you after he finally got your thneed back that he just threw it to the side and hoped for the best. At least he was smart enough to take his gloves off too. You bought what he told you, which meant you trusted him a lot. In regard to it being rusted, it was probably too dark for you to see how obviously red it was–the same for his discarded gloves.

It didn’t matter. You were happy you got your thneed back, and he was happy he got more opportunities to be around you. Now you didn’t have to worry about those muggers either, because you wouldn’t see them ever again.

Onceler covered his grin with his hand.

Nobody would.

#yandere male #yandere #yandere onceler #this is cursed #yandere fanfic #yandere oneshot #yandere fanfiction #male yandere #the onceler #onceler x reader #yandere x you #yandere x reader #onceler #yandere imagines

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justjstuff · 3 years

Text

Sacrilege

My first contribution to the SethKate fandom! A quick oneshot during the break between s2 and s3, ending in post-Amaru territory.

Summary: Kate wasn’t laughing now.

There were silent tears streaming down her cheeks, her mascara smudged beneath her eyes and her brows knitted unhappily. Seth drank in the sight of her, something coming loose inside his chest at the same time that his heart dropped somewhere near his feet.

“You’re not real,” he whispered.

A short story about Seth dealing with his grief.

Read it on AO3 or below the cut :)

Seth didn’t know exactly how he found himself in that unfamiliar office in the middle of the day. Richie had taken to Jed’s like he was born for it and Seth had stayed quietly in the background—a place he had never been comfortable being, that had always been Richie—but he found himself being unable to do anything else. He gave orders, kept Richie’s feet firmly on the ground while his brother played boss, but kept to himself otherwise.

It felt good, in a way, to see his brother look so sure of himself, to see Richie feeling comfortable in his own skin for the first time in ever. Still, it was hard to miss that there was sadness and regret buried deep beneath his brother’s Hugh-Hefner-robe-wearing exterior. In the week that they had taken over Jacknife Jed’s, Seth had time to see the cracks in his brother’s armor and to feel his own shock wearing off. That morning seemed to have been his breaking point.

It was something simple, really, that managed to bring him to his knees. Something that he had never expected could take his breath away and send him to the kind of panic attack he hadn’t had since he was a teenager.

Mornings at Jed’s were like the middle of the night everywhere else. There was a certain kind of quiet that took over the compound, like everything was still and Seth could take a few moments to himself. He started making a point to have breakfast by himself in the kitchen while everyone else was asleep.

They still didn’t have much in their kitchen. Malvado hadn’t actually stayed where they chose to operate from and the employees had only deemed necessary to keep a coffee maker there, but they’ve been slowly building it up instead of using the bar’s kitchen which was frankly annoying to do when they had to cross the parking lot from their bedrooms to get a beer. The fridge and stove were the first to arrive and now they actually had plates and fucking cutlery, it was starting to feel not exactly like home but definitely more like they weren’t staying in an old warehouse for a couple of days. They had the option of using Malvado’s underground facilities at Jed’s but had ultimately agreed that they would feel safer working from the warehouse behind it instead.

Then he saw the toaster.

It was this ugly bright red, which probably meant Richard had been the one to get it; a clunky piece of metal right in the middle of the stainless steel countertop that had already been there before them. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make Seth’s carefully constructed defences crumble like they had never been there in the first place.

He had tried so hard, just so fucking hard to not think about her ever since that night. He had gone back to the blood well with Richie and Scott but there had been no body, only a bloodstained white sheet stuck to the wooden boards. The sight of that blood, Kate’s blood, had sent him straight to the nearest bottle of whiskey and his brother had been right there with him. The next day, there had been no more mention of her and Seth had pushed everything deep down.

And then the godamn fucking toaster.

The tilt of her jaw and the amused little smile as she said, “Not funny.”

Her hand in his after a nightmare.

The way her hair caught the sunlight after a dip in a shitty motel pool.

The quiet sigh she always let out before forcing herself to get out of bed.

The hurt, the anger, the guilt of it all but also the reluctant almost shy happiness he hadn’t allowed himself to feel, but was undeniable all the same. The partnership they had, the heartache.

The fucking heartache.

Quite literally, his chest felt so constricted Seth had to remind himself that he could actually breathe and that Kate hadn’t taken away his ability of doing so when she left. No, this time she hadn’t left. She was taken.

Seth stumbled back to his office. It wasn’t exactly an office yet but there were two desks and a kind of decently stocked bar and that’s all Richie and him needed. Seth didn’t think twice about uncapping the whiskey and downing a few desperate gulps before coming back for air. His throat burned but he wasn’t sure it was really from the booze and as he blinked at the bare wall in front of him he didn’t even have enough strength to pretend he wasn’t blinking away tears.

He didn’t know exactly how long he stood there, drinking himself stupid, but by the time the bottle was almost gone it had gotten a little easier to breathe without the fear of having his chest explode with the pain of it all. It wasn’t enough, though.

Looking at the bottle reminded him of the few times he had shared a drink with her , the way she would giggle and wipe away a drop of whiskey from the corner of her mouth. It was almost like she was right there with him—it felt so real for a moment that he could hear her small laugh, could smell her in the air like the afterscent she left on his pillow from spending the night there after a particularly horrible nightmare. Seth put the bottle down.

In a mindless haze, he reached for the small key in his pocket and unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk with clumsy fingers. Inside there were only two things: Kate’s cross—the one Richie had seen Scott take and then throw as far as he could in a fit of rage, and then had gone to collect—and his drug kit.

It seemed almost sacrilegious to put those two items side by side but Seth didn’t care. After Richie had silently passed the necklace to him when they’d been drunk that first night, it had taken residence in Seth’s drawer, which Richie had adamantly kept away from. Besides, it felt like a sick sort of comparison to Kate herself. She was everything good, his moral compass, a godamn fucking angel with soft hands and bright eyes, but she also had darkness inside of her and she hadn’t been one to shy away from it.

The kit wasn’t the same one he had during Mexico, which Sonja had thrown out the first chance she had. No, this one was new, Seth had bought it just a few nights ago. At the time he didn’t exactly understand why he had done it, despite the craving for it going away and then coming back every once in a while, he had been absolutely certain he never wanted to go through withdrawal again. Maybe a part of him had known he would need it, maybe his subconscious knew it was only a matter of time before Kate’s death became too much.

Seth went through the motions of prepping the hit without thinking about it. All he felt, all he could concentrate on was how much everything hurt and how much he didn’t want to feel anymore. It wasn’t his body craving the chemicals, it was his mind craving the silent bliss of not feeling.

Seth tapped his arm, a familiar routine of trying to find a vein, but either because of the booze or because he had grown unused to it, he couldn’t. He put the needle down, the sound of it smacking against the bottle echoing as he fumbled for the tourniquet to wrap around his bicep.

He could hear her crying.

It was, to his greatest regret, a sound he had been familiar with and it made him reach for the needle faster than his alcohol drenched brain could process. Seth pressed it to a bulging vein but only held it there for a few long moments as Kate cried. The tip scratched his skin before he dropped the needle. His hands were shaking too much and he couldn’t help but think that usually… usually she would be the one to pick up the needle and help him finish the job.

When he looked back up, Kate was there.

She was exactly as he remembered her on one of their good days. The white sundress she had only worn once falling to the top of her thighs, the red bikini peeking through its spaghetti straps. She had bought it all in a cheap gas station one morning and forced him to stop at the first motel she saw that had a pool to spend the afternoon there. He had been twitchy about being so close to the border but they had spent the previous couple of days stuck in the Corvette so he let her waste the day by the pool until he had come across an American family at a small restaurant he had stopped for food. Seth had booked it back to the motel to find Kate floating on her back.

He hadn’t let her stop for anything, just pulled her arm until she got out of the pool and guided her back to the car with his hand fighting to find purchase on her wet shoulder. He had expected her to snap at him while they sped down dusty backroads but Kate had only laughed. She had given him shit for everything later and insisted he owed her for making her leave behind the first dress she had worn in forever but she hadn’t been mad. Hearing her laugh had made that day be one of the first that felt light after the Twister.

She wasn’t laughing now.

“You’re not real,” he whispered.

Kate didn’t reply, didn’t even react in any way other than the tears that continued to come. But still, her green eyes stared right into his, and she didn’t go away. Seth wished she would. He wished she never left.

The sudden rage that overcame him wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, but it still took his breath away, consumed his body in the flames that he sometimes wished had taken him. It wasn’t exactly anger, or rather, it was more than that. It was grief , swallowing him whole and drowning everything that made Seth Seth. He threw the whiskey bottle at her, the sound of it breaking on the wall behind his desk not quite covering the sound of his knees crashing on the floor.

Seth cried.

He wept like a fucking baby, like he hadn’t done ever since his mother had left him. He cried until his head hurt, until he couldn’t really smell the spilled whiskey and couldn’t see the blank wall where Kate’s ghost had stood. And that’s how Richie found him.

Seth had no idea how long his brother had called for him, only realizing Richie was there with him when he felt a hand on the back of his neck guiding his head to rest on a fluffy robe. Richie didn’t say anything and neither did Seth despite all the words he had clogging up his throat.

I miss her, he wanted to say.

I wish it had been me instead, he couldn’t help but think.

Yet he stayed silent. Until maybe a few minutes later, when he muttered, “‘m gonna throw up.”

His brother never mentioned that night with him. Ever. Even when Seth pulled him aside the day after to reassure him that he had thrown the smack away, Richie only replied with a quiet, “Okay,” and a stiff nod while he avoided his eyes. They didn’t talk about it and the urge to shoot up never came again.

He still saw her from time to time, mostly when he was close to blackout drunk and never as clearly as he had seen her that first night. Kate was always wearing something from one of their good days and she was never crying. She only watched him quietly as he fought with himself to keep her in the corner of his eyes instead of staring at what everyone else would think was nothing.

Six months later when he was in Santanico’s fighting ring, he saw her again. For a few beats he thought it was another hallucination, and it was enough time for the other guy to knock him down, but she was still there when he looked up.

Seth knew almost immediately that it was her. The unfamiliar red hair, the heavy makeup she had never used, the clothes that he had never associated with a happy time. It wasn’t a hallucination. Seth knew that despite how surreal it sounded, the person who stood in the crowd was Kate Fuller.

Everything after that was a fucked up nightmare.

Six months of grieving Kate had taken a toll on him. Seth worked hard to keep things going, he took care of business when Richie was too busy posturing as the Boss and he kept a tight ship running. He kept swinging, even when he felt like he didn’t have much strength, because he had learned many things growing up but giving up wasn’t one of them. So he pushed everything down and kept going, but by the time all of the Amaru bullshit had to be dealt with he just didn’t have anything else to give.

Standing there at the gates of hell, Seth was done. His brother was gone but he still had Kate, at least for a little while. He had wrestled her out of death himself by force, he had refused to accept she was going to die in that church. His hands didn’t shake this time when he found a vein with the needle.

Letting Kate walk through those gates was the hardest thing he had ever done. His brother was gone and if he lost Kate too he would have absolutely fucking nothing to keep him going, he would have done anything to keep her safe. But then she had said it.

In the eyes of the people I love.

Seth knew that in that moment she was acknowledging him as part of her family, he knew that he couldn’t take her choice away, not when she was looking at him with that look on her face. Time to let go, partner. Seth did. He let her go. But only because he knew he was right behind her; if there was one thing Seth was certain it was that he was going to Hell when he died and he didn’t plan on staying a second longer without his family. There wasn’t much of a plan, really—try to save her brother as he went down swinging, then try his best to find her and Richie on the other side.

Only he didn’t die.

Not only that, but Richie and Kate came back and Seth’s luck finally seemed to have turned around because in the end they were all alive and there. That Kate went with them when it was all over was another kind of miracle.

Months later and Seth still didn’t know how his life had turned out this particular brand of okay.

He wasn’t doing any more mid level-boss work since the Lords had all died, and despite the fact that sometimes the work was mind numbingly boring, he still spent a lot of his time doing what he really loved—planning for a job and then driving off into the sunset with the two people he cared the most about.

He had taught her some things back in Mexico but it shouldn’t have been enough to make her so smooth during their jobs. The kid was a fucking natural, and Seth caught himself sometimes being distracted in the middle of a bank robbery, looking at her in her semi-formal wear. No matter what type of clothes she wore to fit in between the two suits, they were always white. He didn’t ask about it, just like he didn’t ask about the gloves she wore sometimes even when they weren’t on a job.

Kate was far from healed from her ordeal, but as the months passed she got closer to okay and then okay sometimes turned into happy. And that’s all Seth ever wanted for her.

It had been a nice day. They had robbed a bank south of Austin and had made it out before the cops even realized what had happened, making it almost all the way down to Port O’Connor where Malvado’s operation had a nice safehouse by the beach. They spent the rest of the day counting their loot, checking the news and lounging around the house drinking and talking and laughing like they usually did.

By sunset, Seth’s not-so-happy thoughts had returned in full force.

He was leaning on the doorway to their back porch with a beer in hand, watching Kate as she slowly made her way down the steps so she could bury her toes in the sand. She had changed out of her white jumpsuit from that morning into the tiniest cutoffs Seth had ever seen her wear and a green tank top. Her red hair was moving with the breeze coming from the ocean and it almost reached the waistband of her shorts with the way her head was tilted up towards the last rays of sunshine.

She was heartbreakingly beautiful. Kate had always been pretty and the sweetness of her eyes and face had always drawn his attention in a way but now there was a certain kind of sadness to the angle of her eyebrows and the look in her eyes that somehow managed to capture his attention even further. There was confidence in the tilt of her chin, strength in the way her shoulders were never hunched and sharpness in her unbridled laugh but there was also sadness. Seth loved every single part of her.

He would never dare say it out loud to fucking anyone, but he couldn’t keep lying to himself. The truth was he couldn’t even tell when he had fallen in love with this girl.

The thing that scared him the most, though, wasn’t exactly telling her any of it—he was very content living in her shadow, with her as his partner and his brother by his side. Seth didn’t need her to love him in a way other than platonic . What scared him in moments like these was the thought of losing her. Again. If anything happened to her, if she left because she was fed up with them or, God fucking damn it, if she died , he now knew that these moments were the ones that would haunt him, her tiny shorts and the faded green tank top, keeping him company in the corner of his eye.

Kate sighed and Seth shook himself from his depressing thoughts. She had moved back up the steps but hadn’t stepped any closer to him, her arms around herself and goosebumps on her arms.

“You should head inside,” Seth said, his voice so rough he had to clear his throat before continuing. “It’s getting colder, at least grab a jacket, Princess.”

Kate didn’t acknowledge his words, only stared up at him deep in thought, her green eyes catching the last light as the sun disappeared below the horizon. Seth sighed and stepped forward, leaving his beer on the railing so he could close his warmer hands over her biceps. He rubbed her arms and raised an eyebrow at her in expectation.

“You looked so sad,” she whispered and he stopped his motions immediately.

Seth cursed himself for not being more careful, but only sighed in response, squeezing her shoulders once before stepping back and reaching for his beer. She snatched it before he could, taking a long pull from it with her eyebrow raised as if to say, “If you won’t answer me, then I’ll drink it all.”

Seth rolled his eyes and moved past her, shedding his shoes and socks as he went. He was just buzzed enough that he didn’t question the sudden urge to feel the sand beneath his feet. He had changed into more comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and the hems of his pants were getting dirty from the sand, but he didn’t mind. He just closed his eyes and enjoyed the last bit of sun on his face before Kate spoke again.

“You know, the first time I saw your feet I blushed so hard I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to put some cold water on my cheeks,” she said suddenly.

“ What? ” Seth turned around so fast he thought he might have pulled a muscle. Kate had sat down on the top step, she was hugging her knees to her chest and looking at him like she deeply regretted saying anything, but she didn’t back down, even when he blinked dumbly at her.

“Not like that , you moron!” she said with a frown, though her cheeks were getting pinker by the second. Seth couldn’t help but laugh as she exclaimed, “Shut up!”

“No, I’m sorry, go on about my feet, sweetheart,” Seth said, stepping closer to her so he could take his beer back. He took a sip and handed the rest of it to her, something unwinding in his chest at the sound of her embarrassed giggles. Kate took a long gulp of the cool beer before letting it drop on the step next to her.

“I just mean that it felt… intimate, I guess.” She shrugged one shoulder, somehow managing to look both shy and confident. “Like I was seeing you be vulnerable or something.”

Seth propped one leg on the step beneath her, bracing his elbow on the railing so he could lean down closer to her. There was a soft smile on his face that he couldn’t hide no matter how hard he tried and his only consolation was that Kate’s cheeks were darkening still.

“I get it,” he let her off the hook, snorting a bit. “I had that same “oh shit” moment when I walked in on you only wearing a towel a few days in.”

“Don’t be creepy,” she whispered teasingly and Seth rolled his eyes.

“Not like that ,” he threw her words back at her, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips briefly. “It’s just that I’ve never realized how… ready you were at all times. It’s like you carried yourself like a goddamn soldier on the battlefield, ready for anything thrown your way, you know? Confident and sure of yourself, always. But that day I caught you off-guard and… I guess I just realized how tiny you looked. Made me think of how much I needed to take care of you, to protect you.”

There was a beat where they just stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say after their small confessions and Seth letting his eyes look anywhere but at hers while feeling her gaze heavy on him.

“What were you thinking?” Kate asked in a small voice. “Before?”

“Kate,” Seth sighed again, met her eyes for a brief second before bracing himself to push off the railing so he could put some space between them. Kate stopped him with a hand on the loose fabric of his jeans on his shin.

“What were you thinking, Seth?”

Goddamn it, he couldn’t deny her. Not when she was looking up at him with that beautiful, sad face of hers, not when her voice felt so fucking quiet and intimate, especially not with the way he could kind of look down her shirt from where he was standing above her.

Without meaning to, Seth started rambling on like a fucking amateur.

“When you died,” he started and had to take a deep breath after saying that dreaded word, “I was in a really bad place. I kept… I had these visions of you. I mean-” and now he was full-on babbling, “I had a vision of you once, but that was because of the heroin and after that one time I never did it again but…” Seth let out a harsh breath and looked up at the darkening night sky so he wouldn’t have to look at her. “Every time I saw you, you were wearing something from a day during our time in Mexico where things were good. Or at least not as bad as usual. The days where I could get you to smile. And now… Now sometimes I think during these happy days that if you’re gone again, I’ll be seeing you in these clothes.”

Kate didn’t immediately say anything, the only sound between them the waves crashing behind him and the rush of his heart beating in his ears. So Seth kept going, as if he hadn’t made a fool of himself enough.

“I don’t think I can take losing you again.” He muttered it so quietly that it felt like a confession, whispered at the feet of her altar.

Kate stood up slowly, swaying slightly because they were both tipsy by that point, but standing tall and sure, towering slightly above him because of her higher ground. She slowly reached for his hand and pulled him forward until he had to change his position to stand a few steps beneath her. Her hands were cold in his but she wasn’t wearing her gloves and Seth could only feel grateful for the feel of her skin. She held his hand between two of hers like he was the one who needed warming up, but Seth didn’t mind. He squeezed her back.

“We’re both going to die, Seth.” She said it so bluntly Seth’s eyes snapped back to hers but she didn’t stop long enough for him to say anything. “If we have it our way at least, we’re both going to die and that’s the only certainty we have. The only certainty anyone has ever had, Seth. This is the way things have always been.”

“I know, but,” Seth tried to interrupt but Kate wouldn’t have it.

“You don’t need to protect me, okay? We’re partners , that means we have each other’s backs. I have your back and you have mine.” She squeezed his hand tightly and there was something in her eyes that made Seth almost forget to breathe. Kate gave him a tiny smile, one that held so many things Seth didn’t know what to make of it, only that it made his heart speed up and, combined with the lack of breathing, left him feeling a little dizzy. “We can’t change the end but we can make sure these happy days are as happy as they can be, right?”

Seth was nodding before his brain caught up with him. Fuck, he loved her so much. He would agree with anything she said as long as she kept looking at him like that, kept holding on to his hand like she was.

“Yeah, honey, alright,” he managed to say, his voice kind of hoarse. He felt his ears warm when she giggled a bit, like he was a goddamn kid again with his very first crush. He didn’t even know it was still possible to feel those fucking butterflies.

“Good,” Kate said, her voice final as she smiled slightly at him. “Because I’m going to kiss you now.”

“What?” Seth’s whole world stopped. It felt like she had pulled out the steps from beneath his feet and taken his breath and any cognitive function along with her. Kate only nodded, her cheeks darkening again, her eyes never wavering from his.

“Yep,” she said. “It’s okay if you don’t want it to mean anything, you know? I mean, I do, but it doesn’t matter because a kiss is never a bad thing, right? I guess there are some situations where it could be but not like this, okay? I’m just making this happy day happier and I really do want to kiss you, have wanted for quite a while to be completely honest, and if you want to forget about—”

Seth could see how she was going from confident to uncertain and embarrassed the longer he stood there with his dumb mouth hanging open like a goddamn fish and his eyebrows trying to see if they could merge with his hairline. He snapped out of it suddenly, and without even realizing what was going on, he was reaching forward to kiss her.

Seth didn’t kiss Kate like he wanted to, taking his time, being gentle and careful. He kissed her like he knew she wanted to be kissed, like he wasn’t afraid to break her, like he knew she was the strongest fucking person on this earth. And she was.

He buried his hands in her hair on the back of her skull, his thumbs tilting her jaw down so he could kiss her better with her standing above him. Seth didn’t know who exactly deepened the kiss, maybe it had been him, but it didn’t fucking matter because now he knew how Kate Fuller tasted and he could die right there and die the happiest man on fucking earth. He slid his hands down until they found their way to her back pockets so he could pull her closer to him, their chests touching as he went up one step.

Kate’s arms were around his neck then, holding him close, as if he would ever willingly part from her ever fucking again. Richie would just have to deal with the fact that their next jobs would have to be handled with Kate hanging off his neck like that. She pulled away slightly, taking a few gasping breaths but he pulled her closer without even opening his eyes, kissing her once more and then another one after just because he could because she really wanted to kiss him. Had for a while now.

When Seth finally managed to break the kiss again before either of them passed out, he was standing on the same step as her, her tiny feet on top of his as he held most of her weight up so he could keep kissing her.

“Oh,” Kate gasped slightly, her eyes shining bright even as her pupils were dilated.

Yeah, Seth agreed with that sentiment. He huffed a laugh which she echoed, then breathed her in before diving back in to taste her smile. Truth was, it didn’t really matter how it would all end. He had already gotten the happily ever after he wanted, this was fucking El Rey.

His brother safe and happy, Kate’s arms around him and the sound of the crashing waves welcoming the dusk and waking them up at dawn.

#sethkate #my works #my work #from dusk till dawn: the series #FDTD #seth gecko #kate fuller #seth gecko character study #kinda #writing #fanfiction

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jobrookekarev · 3 years

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I Could Have You Back With One Simple Thing

Chapter One of Two: Come Back

Words: 3092

Summary: Jo stared down at the pregnancy test in her hand. Waiting for it to develop. She had taken a lot of pregnancy tests over the years. Most of them have been negative, one of them was positive. And here she was again.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd (Mentioned).

Characters: Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey, and Alex Karev.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences,

Additional Tags: Potential Pregnancy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tears, Pregnancy Tests, Reminiscing of The Past.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: For Coco ( @cicinicole-14) for causing me pain.

This is more of a thought piece for Jo, but there is some dialog and action later as Jo talks with Meredith and Alex.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo stared down at the pregnancy test in her hand. Waiting for it to develop. She had taken a lot of pregnancy tests over the years. Most of them have been negative, one of them was positive. And here she was again, separated from her husband, the baby's father, taking a pregnancy test alone and wondering if this will ruin her and bring him back.

Last time she prayed that it was negative. She didn't know what she wanted from this one if she wanted it to be positive or negative. If it was positive, it would change everything. For better or for worse. That's what he promised. For better or for worse. Well, worse came, and he left, and although this should be the better part, it feels like the worse.

As she looked back, she felt like the right opportunity to have a baby had passed her by. The years she was with Alex would have been the best time to have a baby. She remembered the night he came home, dropped his pants, and said, “Let's make a baby, right now.” If only she had taken him up on his offer then.

But if she thinks about it, the perfect time to have a baby would have been after she proposed. That night was so perfect, the candles, her dress, his face, everything about him. Sure it would have meant that she would have been pregnant on their wedding day, but of all the things to go wrong that day, that would have been a good memory. They would have been a family.

She didn't know how things would have turned out. At least, maybe Alex would have stayed. Now Jo didn't know what she would do because if she had his child now, it would both break her and heal her. It would mean that Alex would have to come back. She would get him back. Even if only for a little while. Even if it was just her and her baby seeing him on the weekends. Seeing him again would break her because it would make the separation all too real.

Sometimes she pretended that he died. That he was just gone and she never had to see him again. It made things a little easier than wondering if he would show up again one day, like a ghost walking the halls of the hospital.

She knows that she shouldn't, but she wanted this. Never in her entire life had she wanted a pregnancy test to be positive. Even when Jo was with Alex, she was so terrified, so focused on her career, their relationship, everything else but a child. Now he was gone and she thought the possibility of a child had gone with him. Yet here she was, sitting on the bathroom floor, pregnancy test in hand, waiting to figure out if he had left her with a child too.

She wanted it to be positive. She wanted a baby, her and Alex's baby, and she didn't want anything else. She wanted to have a child with him, even if it hurt. Even if it was going to be difficult, and complicated, and heartbreaking. She wanted this child more than anything because at least she would have him back just for a little bit. More importantly, her child would have him. Or her child would have Izzie Stevens as a stepmom. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Alex always said that she was kind and that she baked. That would be nice for a child. Jo could learn to bake too, and to cook. She could be a soccer mom or a PTA mom. Most likely, she would be a mess of a mom, but she would be there for their child more than her mom was there for her.

She could give them the childhood they deserved. She would do anything for their child. She could turn that little corner of the Loft into a nursery like they always talked about doing. Then she would look for a house close to Link and Meredith so that all of their kids could grow up together. She would use up all of her vacation days and make sure her child got to go to the beach, Disneyland, and all the places she never got to go to as a child. The first few years with her residency would be rough, but by the time she finished her OB residency, they would be in preschool, and she would have more time to spent with them. If she had to do it on her own, she would. She would be the best mom in the world. She could take the weekends off, and they could have little adventures around the city, just the two of them, the three of them, maybe.

When she imagined it, Jo could see a little girl that looked like her, but had her father's devious smile and Alex’s gorgeous brown eyes. Or a little boy that would look exactly like him, and oh how she hoped they looked exactly like him. His eyes, his little crooked smile, and the way his little nose crinkle. If she couldn't have him, she would be happy to have a piece of Alex that would be hers forever, as selfish as that seemed. Even if she had to do it on her own, she could do it.

Jo wanted to be pregnant. She wanted to have a baby, no matter what.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at the timer on her phone. The pregnancy test only had a few more seconds left, and she counted them down, pausing the timer before it went off. Jo took another deep breath, closing her eyes, wishing, hoping, and praying before she flipped the test over.

It was negative.

So she tried again, but the next one, and the next one, and all five tests until she ran out of pee. She sat there, criss-cross on the bathroom rug staring at all five tests as all five of them came out negative. Instantly, she wasn’t nauseous anymore, she wasn’t tired or fatigued or anything. She just was. It was just her. All alone.

She grabbed the first one again. The first response one was advertised as being the best on the market. Jo knew that they could still be false negatives, but six out of six? She had done a blood test earlier, but the lab was backed up, and a pregnancy test wasn’t urgent. She wouldn't get the results till tomorrow, so instead, she went out and bought the pregnancy tests. It was what she should have done in the first place. Now, the negative blood test would just be another penny in the bucket of her disappointment.

Jo got up and held the test as she turned the lock on the door pulling it open and peering out into the loft. Jo was surprised to see that Meredith wasn't camped outside the door, instead, the loft was completely quiet. She walked past the little area that used to have Alex's weights but now had a little cabinet and Levi's twin bed. She walked over to her bed, their bed, reaching out for the soft comforter before she heard Meredith’s voice from the kitchen.

“I told you, Alex. I don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!” Alex insisted, his voice a little distorted as it came through the phone speaker.

There's a beat of silence as she froze. Jo had been completely quiet compared to their loud conversation and Meredith had her back to her in the kitchen. She was at the sink doing the dishes that Jo had been too sick to do. The smell of the old food still turned her stomach. She supposed she just had the flu and not morning sickness.

For a moment, Jo just stared at her as Meredith scrubbed the pan. She knew that Meredith was still in contact with Alex, and she asked her to call him when she arrived after she went to take the tests. Jo wanted him to know from the very beginning, but for some reason. She didn't believe that Meredith would still call him, that Alex would pick up, that she would hear his voice on the other end of the line for the first time in months. Even before she got the letter, he felt so far away. Alex felt like he was the thousands of miles away that he was. Hearing his voice now, so close, she could feel him, almost as if his voice was ringing in her ears. His sweet voice was so close, so comforting, as it always was.

“All I know is that Jo called me, and when I showed up at the Loft, she had a box of pregnancy tests, and she said that she didn't want to take them alone,” Meredith said as she paused her scrubbing. “Alex, she was so distraught, the loft is an absolute mess, there's laundry, and dishes, and tissues everywhere. I haven't seen it this bad since, since she fell into her depression.”

Alex sighed, pausing for a second. “I should be there.”

“Yeah, you should be here. You should be the one waiting here with her instead of me, but you can’t do that because you left. I shouldn't even be telling you this,” Meredith said as she started scrubbing the pan again so aggressively that Jo thought she’d scrub the nonstick coating off.

“Then why are you telling me all this? You don't tell me a single thing about Jo, despite how I ask, and then you just call me out of the blue and tell me she might be pregnant.”

“I don't know, because she asked me to and because you called. Look Alex, what am I supposed to say? You ran away from this and you can't just run back. ”

“I can try, I can come back, I can be in Seattle in less than 5 hours.”

“No, I don't, because I think if Jo really is pregnant, then I don't know what she's going to do, especially if you show up. I think, I think she might actually run. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. I did the same thing when I found out I was pregnant with Ellis. You and I both know her. Despite everything, Jo’s first instinct is to run and without you to keep her here...”

“Well, you have to stop her. You just have to keep her there until I can get there.”

“I'm not going to stop her or make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Jo is her own person, and she makes her own decisions. If she wants to run away from us and take her child with her, then she has every right to.”

“It’s my child too,” Alex's voice was filled with hurt as he pleaded with Meredith. “I have every right to be there, to know them.”

“It stopped being your child and just became Jo's child the moment that you left. Alex, you left her alone and pregnant. What do you expect her to do!?” Meredith yelled, still taking out her anger on the pan.

“I don't expect her to keep my child from me!” Alex yelled before he took a deep breath, his voice calmer when he spoke again. “Look, I know that her having you call me now is a sign that she wants me to be a part of this child's life. I'm grateful for that, I am. I want to do right by her and our baby. I don't want to hurt her anymore, but this is my child too, and I have the right to know them. I get that she's angry...”

“Of course she's angry!” Meredith said, cutting him off. “You left her. I'm angry too, but it's your little swimmers that got you into this situation. Look, I know you're worried, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just wait and see what the results are before you hop on a plane and disrupt her life even further. Because I guarantee that if it's negative, she’s still going to want nothing to do with you if you show up.”

“I'm just worried, Mer. I left her to be with my kids so that I could be a full-time dad to them. I don't want to be flying back and forth from Seattle to Kansas. I don't want to be a part-time dad to all of my kids. I'm just, I'm worried. I don't know how I'm going to do this.”

As the conversation went on, Jo just stood there leaning against the post in the kitchen, holding the negative pregnancy test. Meredith finally finished the dishes and turned around, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She caught sight of Jo standing there. Meredith paused, the phone in her hand. Jo just put the pregnancy test on the table where Meredith could see it.

“It’s negative. You can tell Alex he doesn't have anything to worry about.”

“Jo,” Alex's voice stopped her in her tracks as he reached out to her across the phone.

It took everything inside of her not to fall apart and not to take the phone from Meredith. Not to scream and cry and tell him how much she still loves him and hates him and wants him back. But he was gone and now nothing could bring him back. Not now.

With that, she turned around and walked away. She heard Meredith quickly hang and then everything was quiet. All of Jo's strength seemed to have disappeared as she walked over to the couch, their couch, and grabbed his throw blanket. Alex had complained about it when Jo first bought it, saying it was too girly, but eventually, he grew to love it because it was warm and soft. Sometimes he would even curl up in bed with it when she wasn't home, and he was lonely. Now, she curled up with it, instead of with him.

There were a number of things that she kept for herself, being selfish with his things before she packed away the rest and sent it all off to Kansas. She kept his old Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirts, he could always order another one, but this one was hers even before he left. His pillow, he had a new bed to sleep in and probably a new pillow too, lord knows he was away long enough to need one. His watch, he had forgotten it because it was left on his nightstand. He asked Meredith to get it for him, but Jo said she couldn't find it. And then there was his brown scrub cap, it was in his locker, and she found it when she was cleaning it out. Jo didn't wear it like Meredith wore Derek’s ferry boat scrub cap, but sometimes Jo just held it against her nose and breathed in the smell of his cologne and his shampoo. It was a little stinky from the sweat of his brow, but it was a part of the image of Alex she fell in love with, so she kept it. However, all those were just things. The smell of him would fade from his pillow, the blanket would become less soft the more she used it, the fabric of his scrub cap would rip and tear until it became just scraps, and the watch would stop working.

But a child, their child would have been a piece of him to keep forever. Living, breathing, growing, and changing into someone new, a person who would be more than either of them could have ever been. Now all of that was gone with the negative pregnancy test. Every last piece of him was gone.

“I have nothing left of him,” Jo said as she stared out the window at the crappy view of the other buildings.

“That's not true,” Meredith said as she came to sit down next to her, but Jo didn't look at her. She just kept staring out the window, even as Meredith wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. “You have a lot of things left from Alex, just like I have things from Derek.”

“Yeah, including three kids that are just like him,” Jo said, trying not to let the bitterness and her voice come out like venom.

“Yes, but I also have a lifetime’s worth of memories and a heart full of love, and I know that you have the same. No matter what happens going forward, you get to keep all the love that he gave you and the best parts of Alex, and you get to keep me.”

Jo pulled back to look at Meredith. “I thought that you would. I don't know, I thought that now that Alex was gone, we wouldn't be friends anymore.”

“Yeah, well, you thought wrong because in the divorce, you got me, and I promise you, Jo, I'm not going anywhere,” Meredith said, gripping your shoulders and staring into her eyes, knowing that Jo would have a hard time believing it.

But she did believe her. Jo knew Meredith well enough to know that she wasn't going anywhere. There wasn't anything in the world that would take her away from Seattle, at least not for very long. When so many others had left, Meredith had always been there.

Jo nodded as she looked down at her lap and placed a hand over her empty womb. “I wanted to be pregnant.”

“I know,” Meredith said, in a soft voice with a little nod.

“I didn't care if it was complicated. I would have done it with or without him and I would have been a good mom,” Jo said, the tears collecting in her eyes as she tried to keep her voice from breaking.

“I know and you would have been the best mom in the world,” Meredith said, reaching out to put her hand on Jo's cheek and wipe away the tears that had already started falling.

“I just wanted to be pregnant,” Jo said, shaking her head.

“I know.”

Jo finally gave in to the tears as they turned into sobs. Her wails filled the loft as she cried into Meredith’s arms as she just hugged her close. Meredith provided the comfort that Alex once did, as Jo grieved for the child that never was and never would be.

#jo wilson #alex karev #meredith grey #jolex #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy fanfic #otp: home and heart #my work #my writing #my fanfiction

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just--another--daydreamer · 4 years

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Day 51

Noriaki Kakyoin x gn!reader (no pronouns used)

» Fandom: Jojo’s bizarre adventure - Stardust Crusaders » Genre: Angst with hints of fluff » Summary: Kakyoin and you have a late night talk a few days before facing Dio » Warnings: mentions of death, Part 3 Spoilers » Words: ~1.2k

Headcanon suggestions are open :)

You can find a link to my Masterlist in my bio

Day 48 of your journey to Egypt-

You find Kaykoin sitting on a bench on the small balcony that belongs to his hotel room. The glass door is open and a soft night breeze brushes over your skin. It is not cold neither is it warm, a nice contrast to the weeks of traveling through the hot desert with the rest of the crusaders.

You knock on the doorframe to announce yourself. “Noriaki?” He turns around, the Egyptian wind moving his hair slightly, like the ocean on a calm day. “What is it?” he asks. “I can’t sleep, and it looks like you can’t either. Can I sit with you for a while?” Kakyoin pats on the free spot next to him and you sit. Getting comfortable on the cushions, you sigh and lean your head back to look at the stars. The night sky is something that has been giving you some sort of comfort throughout your trip. You have slept without a proper roof above your head more often than you had ever imagined you would, often highly uncomfortable and in the constant fear of an enemy attacking you. But looking up at the deep black sky, with the millions and millions of small white, yet so beautiful dots scattered around everywhere, gave you comfort. You had started looking for constellations when you could not fall asleep, and even though you could not name them or even knew if they were real constellations, it helped you calm down and eventually sleep.

It was something you had shared with Kakyoin, and since then you have been looking at the night sky together. He even bought a book about astronomy in the last city you travelled through. Pointing out constellations to one another, connecting stars in different ways, laughing together. But tonight is different – there is no laughing, no talking. The two of you sit there in silence. Not an uncomfortable one, but not an enjoyable one either. Both of you presumably lost in thought.

There is some kind of tension in the air, barely noticeable. Not a tension between you two, but rather inner conflicts both of you are having.

“We are so close to Dio.” Kakyoin puts into words what you are thinking. “Our journey is almost over.” You turn your head to look at your friend. It is hard to see his expression with only the light of the stars and the moon, but even if you were able to see his face, you are sure that you would not be able to read his expression.

“Are you scared?” you ask. At first, your question is met with silence. All you can hear is the wind rustling the trees’ leaves, as well as the quiet sound of the city at night. “A little bit, yes,” Kakyoin admits after a while. “Are you?” “Of course I am.” You are glad that Kakyoin feels the same way, and you are even more glad that he feels comfortable sharing this stuff with you. You have grown close to all of the crusaders over the past 47 days, but you have grown especially close to Kakyoin. He is a kind soul, willing to give his life for a woman he had only met for a few hours, standing up against one of the most powerful men the world has ever seen, the man who had brainwashed him, controlled him.

You know that Kakyoin viewed his past, scared self as weak and that he wants to grow as a person and face Dio, which makes it even more of a surprise to you that he admitted that he is scared.

“I think about home a lot,” Kakyoin breaks the silence once again. His voice is a bit shaky and he turns his face away from you, even though he knows you are not able to see him properly. “I left without saying anything. I think about what my parents are doing, if they miss me, if they’re looking for me. Or if they’ve given up on me yet.” You are not sure what to do. Even though the two of you have shared moments like this in the past, you do not really know what to do or how to act. You put a hand on his shoulder, mutely encouraging him to keep talking.

“I still have to think about something to tell them when I get back. An explanation, an excuse for disappearing.” He chuckles unexpectedly. “I’ll have to catch up on everything I missed in school. I’ve never liked school if I’m being honest. Never had any friends. But after the journey, going back there is something I’m looking forward to. I have you and Jotaro now, after all.” You smile at that. School is not something you have been thinking about a lot, but now that Kakyoin reminds you of it, you smile. “Maybe we have a few classes together,” you comment. “We can catch up on everything we missed with Jotaro!” “That would be awesome!” Kaykoin chuckles, but it dies out quickly and he sighs. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you and the others.” “I’m sure I know.” You smile at him. “Because I feel the same way.” He returns your smile before you both fall silent again.

The lights of the houses in the city get turned off one by one, leaving you in even more darkness. It is getting colder by the minute and you move a little bit closer to Kakyoin, chasing his warmth. He does not seem to mind, and after a few more minutes, he takes your hand into his.

“Noriaki?” you ask in surprise. Not because of the gesture, but because he is shaking. “Are you all right?” “I lied earlier,” he tells you under his breath. “I’m not only scared; I’m terrified of what’s to come.” You squeeze his hand lightly. Kakyoin has told you about his first encounter with Dio before, and from what you have heard, it is not a surprise that Kakyoin would be scared of him.

“But you have us this time. You have Jotaro, Mister Joestar, Polnareff and Avdol. And me. Together, we will defeat Dio and return home.” You look for the right words to encourage him further. “And after all this, we’ll go home. You’ll figure out what to tell your parents and we go back to school.” It takes a moment for Kakyoin to respond. “Yeah, you’re right. We’ll be fine. We’re strong.” “Hell yeah!” You can see him smile, even in the dark. “Thank you, Y/N. Y’know, I appreciate people like you. You’re giving me the feeling like everything will be alright,” he stops for a moment, looking at you intertwined fingers, “You make me feel at ease.”

You do not need to respond for Kakyoin to know that you appreciate your words and maybe even feel the same way. It is enough that you put your head on his shoulder and move even closer to him.

Like that, you sit there until the last light has gone out, and then you sit there even longer. Just Noriaki and you, staring into the night. “Noriaki?” “Yeah?” For a moment, you wonder if it is the right time to tell Noriaki about your feelings, but you brush it off. That can wait until after you have returned home. “Oh, it’s nothing.” “No, tell me!” “I was just wondering why you are wearing sunglasses at night.” You do not get an answer, only a frustrated huff. “It looks good on you though.”

You nudge his shoulder playfully. Yeah, the other thing would have to wait until after the trip.

Day 51-

Noriaki Kakyoin did not make it.

#kakyoin x reader #noriaki kakyoin x reader #kakyoin noriaki x reader #kakyoin #kakyoin noriaki #x you #x reader #jjba x reader #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #x yn #x gn!reader #x gender neutral reader

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fandomtransmandom · 3 years

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2020 Wrapped:

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5-8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Okay, so as you know, ya boi is verbose af, so apologies, but I could only whittle it down to a top 10 (and one honorable mention.) I like to think my work has improved with time, so the older ones may be a bit rough, but here are my favs from 2020 and why (from most recent to oldest.)

1.) Southern Comfort-Bill Hader, Teddy Redbones (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: Teddy Redbones viciously despises his political opponent Savannah Harrison...by day. At night, the two tear into each other madly, hiding their secret affair from the world and their feelings from one another.

Why I Love: Honestly when @martymcdie88mph sent me a request that just asked for ‘Teddy Redbones laying down pipe’ I never expected the first fic about him to get the response it did, much less for it to lead to two more requests. It’s provided me with immeasurable laughter and I’m so glad there are others out there down to bone this angry southern dom.

2.) Frozen Dreams-Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Receiving bad news while on their Christmas vacation at the height of ‘The Tonight Show’ upset, Conan deals with his grief, assisted by his partner, Molly.

Why I Love: Writing some Conan super angst was so cathartic and beautiful. Thank you @stunninconan for making this request and giving me the opportunity to do so. Just want to cherish our ginger smokeshow and let him know how deeply he’s loved.

3.) Flickering Beauty-Bill Hader, Little Vivvy (Doc Now)/Partners of Multiple Genders

Synopsis: Little Vivvy is away from her family, and her wealth, for the first time in 1970’s New York. As she tries to make it as a dancer, Vivvy undergoes the early stages of her transition and stumbles upon the accepting Ball scene, as well as some struggles of being a trans woman trying to live an authentic life.

Why I Love: I wrote this piece for NaNoWriMo 2020 and I knew going into it I would largely be composing it for myself. Beforehand I considered doing something that might draw in more readers, Reddie perhaps, but I'm so glad I went with my heart because this story is incredibly meaningful to me and I will love Vivvy until the end of my days.

4.) Breathe Me-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry is back in Cleveland after his discharge, working for Fuches, deeply depressed and feeling hopeless. After running into his childhood friend Annie, he discovers she’s doing sex work and offers to help her financially. But Annie refuses, saying there’s only one way she’ll accept payment from Barry.

Why I Love: One of many ideas I’ve worked on this year with @martymcdie88mph, though arguably our best. I received a lot of positive feedback on this piece that made me feel good about myself, and I simply love the dynamic between these two hurting characters.

5.) Lost and Found-Bill Hader, Reddie

Synopsis: When Richie loses the engagement ring he bought for Eddie, he panics, searching everywhere but finding nothing. Coming across the ring while cleaning, Eddie devises a plan to surprise Richie.

Why I Love: This one was based on a prompt from @halefirewarrior and I just think it’s cute and sweet. And it’s resulted in a dozen or so strangers on the internet telling me to ‘shut the fuck up,’ which is always amusing.

6.) Harmonious Monsters-Bill Hader, Vince Blight/OFC

Synopsis: Sociopathic power couple Vince and Stacy Blight live a hedonistic, extravagant existence based on kinky sex and a mutual disregard for humanity. As their ten year anniversary approaches, Vince reflects on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Pretty sure this one appeals just to me, ha. I had a ball writing it. Getting into the heads of these characters was ridiculously fun and smut-wise it includes some of my favorite things.

7.) In The Midnight Hour-Bill Hader RPF, Priest AU

Synopsis: When Father Bill Hader sees a struggling trans man named Troy attending the weekly free meal offered by the church, he discovers Troy is homeless, offering him a place to stay in the basement. As they get to know one another, Troy tempts Bill and tests his faith in ways he never thought possible.

Why I Love: Writing this one for @phantomofthegallifreyanopera was cathartic for me. As a queer trans man who was trapped in a fundamental Christian community for a time, it felt like sweet vengeance to be able to flex my Biblical Studies degree for the sake of gay p*rn (trust me, it’s completely useless otherwise) and it was fun to see Father Bill teased into sin 😈

8.) Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger-Bill Hader, The Alan (SNL)/OFC

Synopsis: When Lily comes home to find The Alan on her doorstep, she can’t imagine why her friend got her such a silly, extravagant gift. That is, until she discovers the Adult Expansion Pack.

Why I Love: I was nervous about publishing this one and almost didn’t. I truly didn’t think y’all would be on board. But thank fuck everyone in this fandom is kinky as shit and this became one of the fics for which I get praised the most. I loved writing it and I’m so here for cranking out more weird shit all day every day.

9.) If The World Was Ending-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry knows that tomorrow he is likely to die, the Chechens seeking vengeance for the massacre at the monastery. For his last night, he wants nothing more than to spend it with Valerie. The problem: Valerie and Barry broke up months before when she discovered his true profession. Barry begs Valerie to see him, and for one final time, he finds solace in her arms.

Why I Love: When @erdankely gave me their concept for this request, I was unreasonably excited. So damn cool. And I just sobbed while I wrote it. Such a sl*t for Barry super angst any day of the week. Love this one and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, actually.

10.) Miles Apart Inside-Bill Hader, Robbie Wheadlan (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: While he’s awaiting trial for murder, Robbie Wheadlan and his lover Abbi reflect on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Not only was this a piece that made me fall hardcore in love with a murderer who was on screen for maybe 15 minutes and has no redeemable attributes, but it strengthened my friendship with @stunninconan and for that I am grateful.

Honorable Mention: Later That Night- Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Conan meets author Gwendolyn who comes on his show to promote her book.

Why I Love: This is the first fic I published back in July. I’m sure I would cringe like crazy if I tried to read it now at all the edits it needs, but I’m so, so happy I decided to post it and kept writing and sharing. Without this almost 48k monster about my orange pompadoured beloved and all the kind feedback from everyone, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you all!

And I spend my days doing nothing other than hammering out alphabet p*rn of my own, so I apologize that I don't know who to tag to keep this going because I shamefully never take time to read. But feel free to do your own if you have creations you would like to share!i

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alicedopey · 4 years

Text

Heartless: VII

(edit by @naaladareia )

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Harald x Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance

Words: 2662

Warning: Smut-ish at the beginning

A/N: I’m not really satisfied with this one.

Clouds. You felt like you were floating above the clouds. Everything was soft and warm, quite unusual. Usually, it was cold, damp and hard. You were probably dreaming because nothing like that could happen to you. Ever.

Something felt suddenly scratchy on your neck, something that became soft and slightly wet.

Harald’s lips. You were not on clouds but in a bed with the King who was currently trying to wake up with his kisses. It’s been weeks, probably months since you had sex with him for the first time. He had been insatiable ever since. You forgot how many times – there were too many – but every sexual encounter with him felt like the first time all over again. He could be tender and rough, sensual and wild. Sex with the King was never boring. He knew how to satisfy you and you had learnt how to satisfy him as well.

Such sexual intercourses were new to you. There was no matter of power or possession, everything was a matter of mutual consent and it made you enjoy it even more. The only problem was it was something you could possibly not live without now that you had discovered it and it was scaring you. King Harald had managed to find his way in your heart, your body and your soul. There was no point in resisting any longer. The King felt happy, it was the only thing that mattered. You knew deep down it would not last but you were too enamored with the King to care. Your heart had won again and you were perfectly aware you would have to pay the consequences of this victory later.

King Harald was now letting mouth-open kisses down your neck and he was grinding his hard-on against your ass. He loved taking you in the morning so he had taken the habit to sleep in the nude after the first night you had been together. He had suggested you to do the same but sensed your hesitation and did not insist any further.

“My King, the sun is almost up. Don’t you want me to…?”

“Shh…I promise I will be very quick.” He cut you off gently. “Unless you don’t want it?”

His hand slid under your nightdress that he had bought from one of the best seamstresses in Kattegat, then his thumb gazed your little sensitive nub.

Your body jolted and your clenched your thighs around his hand. “No.” You panted heavily. “I want it.”

“That’s my Y/N”. He kissed your neck gently again. He rolled up your night dress. You spread your lefts and let him dive into you.

As he had promised, he did not lose any second and started a wild pace between your willing walls. You put one hand over your mouth to muffle your screams as pleasure was already running through your veins but Harald took it in his own hand, intertwining your fingers against your stomach.

“No, no sweet thing.” He breathed heavily against your neck. “You know I love to hear the sounds coming out of your mouth while we are making love and I want everyone to hear them.”

His words made you moan and you were rewarded with another sweet kiss on the side of your neck. His thrusts turned more forceful, making you both pant like animals. Harald came all of a sudden, biting your neck. He drew a few circles on your clit and you came undone, letting out one of those deepest whimpers he was so much fond of.

After that, you stayed there entwined for mere seconds to enjoy the post coital bliss before disentangling your bodies.

The sun was up by now so you got out of the bed and got dressed quickly under Harald’s glare.

“See? That was quick.” He chuckled. “The last thing I want would be for someone to walk on use while we are in bed together.”

You blushed at that. Harald knew you were still mortified about the morning that Baldwin came into the King’s room to see you asleep in each other’s arms, naked. From then, you promised yourself you would not oversleep so that it would not happen again. Baldwin’s mocking stare was still in your mind.

“You first meal will be ready shortly, my King.”

Harald chuckled again but let you leave the room.

You walked rapidly to the Great Hall and joined the other thralls who were already getting everything ready for the Royal couple and their family. They were used to your presence now, but they had shown some surprise at first. It was strange for them to see a thrall being treated differently…almost like a human being. Some of them had looked at you with envy and you even heard an older one claiming that you were not special or the King would have already freed you to give you the title of concubine at least. The words stung but you did not let everything show. When she realized you did not feel attacked by her words, she ignored you just like the others.

As you were finishing to set the meal on the table for the King, a commotion was heard in the Great Hall. Prince Hvitserk. His state had worsened since Bjorn became King of Kattegat. He was always drunk or drugged and tended to speak incoherently about Ivar or the ghost of some woman he used to love.

Entering the room, you spotted him on the floor. All the thralls were watching him with pity but none dared to approach him. Something clenched inside your chest when your heard him sobbing like a lost child. You took a few steps forwards to reach him. There was once a time when he would have scared you but he was not threatening at all right now. Gently tugging on his arms, you helped him stand up. “Prince Hvitserk, do you feel alright?”

His eyes set on you. “Harald is so lucky to have a woman to love who loves him in return.”

You blushed, feeling suddenly embarrassed. Hvitserk did not notice it, too entranced in his own world.

“I had this chance before but now Thora is gone…and I see her everywhere.” He shivered as he leant against you. “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have left her with him and now she won’t leave me alone. Her ghost is in every place of Kattegat.”

His shivering intensified. You tried to appease him by shushing gently and stroking his back.

“Then, maybe you should leave with me.”

King Harald. Your body froze.

“My King, I’m sorry.” You stuttered, wanting to step away from Hvitserk but decided against it considering he would wall if you moved. “He was on the floor and the shieldmaiden who usually takes care of him was nowhere in sight. Besides, I am not alone with him. There are plenty of…”

Harald gently cut you off by giving you the most tender kiss. “It is all right, sweet thing. You did the right thing.”

Baldwin rolled his eyes, you felt your cheeks heat up. The Kind was not used to give public displays of affection. Everybody in Kattegat knew you were his and his only but he had never shown anything in public, not even calling you those pet names he liked to use in bed. Surprising.

He softly pulled you away from Hvitserk and Baldwin helped the Ragnarsson to stand.

“What do you say young Hvitserk? Leaving this town could mean leaving your ghosts behind and maybe leading you to who you’re looking for?”

A light appeared in poor Hvitserk’s eyes. “Ivar…?” He muttered hoarsely.

Harald nodded. “Probably...eat with me.” Baldwin helped him sit down next to the King as you went to fetch another bowl for him. “Then we will go and deal with your brothers before going back to Vestfold.”

Your brows furrowed. Bjorn’s speech came back into your mind. Something was wrong, or at least not going accordingly to the King’s plans. But who were you to interfere?

Oddly enough, the Ragnarssons were not that difficult to convince. Bjorn hesitated at first, but in the end both he and Ubbe were a little bit happy to get rid of this brother. They also seemed too happy to get rid of your king. Somehow, you felt Harald knew it.

You left soon after that. Once on the ship, you mostly took care of Prince Hvitserk. There was a lot of crises and also a lot of retching – which was not helping your constant sea sickness. He was feverish and often delirious but you managed to calm him down after a few days.

As a matter of fact, Hvitserk was finally sleeping peacefully and gently snoring on the deck when King Harald approached you with a very grumpy-like Baldwin. The king smiled at you, his hand resting on your nape to stroke it gently.

“I’m certain you have questions about my decision to leave, Sweet thing. Haven’t you?”

“My King….” He had noticed you were bothered by his decision? You felt embarrassed, did you get past some boundaries? But Harald simply shook his head.

“Just ask away.” Well, you were not one to disobey an order.

“Why…” You cleared your throat. “Why did we leave when Bjorn promised to give you Kattegat if you helped him? Why didn’t you fight for it?”

Harald smiled and looked at Baldwin. “It seems like you have more in common with Y/N than you think.”

His second in command did not grant him with an answer but let out a disdainful snort that Harald ignored deliberately to focus on you.

“Just like Ivar before, Bjorn broke his promise to give me Kattegat. But he is no Ivar. Ivar the Boneless is wise, has the best battle tactics and remains unpredictable. Fighting Bjorn will be easier than fighting his youngest brother. In fact, the latter could even be the perfect ally to win more lands…no matter where he is now. He wants Kattegat, he will be back sooner or later.”

You looked at Hvitserk’s sleeping form. “Is this why you took him with us?”

Harald hesitated then. “I did not know when I offered but now that you mention it, he could be useful indeed.”

“But…” You were lost, then. “He wants to kill Ivar.”

“Ah you see, sweet thing, conflicts between brothers are more complicated than you think.” His hand moved to your cheek. “Besides, I’m not even certain of what I want anymore.”

Baldwin scoffed and the King did not seem happy this time so his man walked away.

Were they talking about you? Did the King want to keep you close or did he want to get rid of you now? Some unwilling panic rose in your chest and you suddenly felt nauseous again. Harald’s thumb caressed your cheek and you looked up at him. He smiled reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be home very soon.”

Home…it could have warmed your heart but what you had just witnessed left a bitterness in your mouth.

________________

Rae made you forget about all your doubts the moment you set foot in Kattegat though. She hugged your fiercely and you hugged back, realizing how much you had missed her. She immediately began to babble about all the things that had occurred while you were gone and you tried to fill her in about what you had lived – keeping for yourself Harald’s plans and the doubts filling your mind. Soon enough, she noticed some changes in your relationship with the King but she did not insist, sensing that you would refuse to answer her questions by loyalty to your master.

Hvitserk was still a lost little boy but his darker days were finally behind him. You introduced him to Rae, thinking it could help. Remembering who he was, she was a little bit shy at first but her behavior towards him changed when she took notice of how miserable and desperate he looked. She tried to charm him with some food and it worked. Soon enough, he was following her everywhere and found any excuse to go and visit her in the kitchens. To eat or see her, you were not certain. The fact was he had become livelier and it warmed your heart.

As for the King…he did not mention his plans regarding Hvitserk and Ivar since your discussion on the boat. When he was with you, he simply talked about his people’s troubles but never about his feelings anymore. He would smile, kiss you, take you to his bed. When morning came, he would let you prepare his first meal then he would join Baldwin, leaving you with another one of his guards or Rae. Something was off, you could tell. The King acted as if he was hiding some things. The problem was you did not know what they were.

“Y/N?” Harald asked, touching your cheek to let you know he was next to you.

“Yes, my King?” You leaned into his touch.

It was the middle of the day and you wondered what he could want from you. “Do you need me for something?”

Harald stared at you, his hand still on your cheek. “I need to talk to you. Follow me.”

His hand fell off your cheek, making you feel empty. The tone of his voice made you nervous but you had no choice so you followed him to his private chambers.

Harald stared at you again, making you even more nervous than you already were. The only thing you wanted was to look at the floor but that would have been disrespectful so you stood there at the entrance of the room, anxiously playing with your fingers.

“You’re free.”

You froze. “I’m…I’m sorry?”

“I’ve decided to set you free.” The King repeated calmly.

Free. No longer a thrall. No longer a belonging but a human being free of her actions and choices. You would be someone again, allowed to go, allowed to feel, allowed to…love.

Lost in your thoughts, you did not hear the King come closer and put something in your hands.

“This should help you at the beginning but I will gladly give you more if you need it.”

Frowning, you looked down and recognized the pouch of gold he had given you before the battle for Kattegat.

“You’re giving me gold?”

He smiled indulgently and you felt like an idiot. “This might help you if you want to leave and maybe go back to your homeland.”

Leave. He wanted you to leave. The King was letting you go, not freeing you.

“What happens…” It pained you to let out every word considering your throat was so tight. “What happens if I decide to stay in Vestfolk?”

Harald smiled again and this time, lovely wrinkles appeared at the corner of his eyes. “Then, you stay. I will give you some land, if that’s what you want. The choice is between your hands now.”

You closed your eyes, defeated. You had heard about Kings, Princes, Earls freeing their thralls to marry them but that was not Harald’s choice. He did not want you beside him, of course. He was just rewarding you for being a faithful and loyal thrall but that did not mean he wanted you to become his queen. He did not love you. He never would.

“Thank you…King Harald.” You bowed stiffly and left the room.

The pouch of gold felt heavy in your hands, like a dead weight. It was useless. You did not want it, you did not need it. What you needed was a knife to stab your weak and treacherous heart.

Tagging (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @naaladareia @gearhead66 @therealcalicali @tephi101 @ivarswickedqueen @thevikingsheaux @two-unbeatable-beaters @alhenablack @neeadinghugs @bangtanandbruno @uncomfortable-writers @itshippiesworld @bookworm925 @thiahilmarsdottir @alostsoulinhumanity @adreamersince1996 @alexa4040 @medievalfangirl @girlonfireice

#harald finehair x reader #harald finehair #King Harald Finehair #King Harald #harald x reader #vikings tv show #fanfic #angst

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