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directionernullneun · 3 years

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Keeping her

So.. I made a thing? I've been writing my whole life, literally made it my job, but I never postet anything on here. Last night I needed to write this, because I read some ACOTAR-Fics and just needed to get it out. I don't know why. I think it's cute so I wanted to share.

Maybe give it a read and tell me what you think!

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (Could be Elain etc. too, i don't say names)

Rating: Pure Fluff

Warning: None

PS: English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes you see!

She had always been a light. A vision.

But lately she'd grown a lot, grew into her body.

Became a woman.

She is radiant, when she walks down the stairs in her black combat boots, the dark trousers and the black tank-top. Her hair is in a high ponytail and the evening sun makes her skin glow golden. She is softly smiling up at Cassian, as he animatedly tries to tell her something. There is a spark in her eyes, when he nearly trips down the stairs, but recovers quickly.

"I thought the Lord of Bloodshed could handle stairs better." Cas scoffs at her and tucks a stray piece of her back into his bun. She starts laughing silently and lets her eyes wander over to Azriel. Her eyes wander down his chest and his legs, back up to his chest. Their eyes meeting is like lightning crashing into his body. She starts smiling, ignores Cassian completely, as she walks the last few steps down and stops infront of him. "You seem happy today", she says as she takes his hand, while his shadows fly up her arms.

God.

He's so in love.

"I like seeing you laugh", he says as he tucks her closer. She rests her head on his chest and inhales deep, shuts her eyes and leans heavily on him. "I like seeing you here", she answers and looks up at him with clear eyes and a small smile. Azriel can't help his heart missing a beat everytime she looks at him like that. Like there is no one else in the world but him.

He has no idea how she fell for him, but he is grateful for every second he can spend with her and not in the dark corners his mind sometimes takes him too. When he remembers the way he makes people talk for Rhysand. How Truth-Teller lies heavy in his scarred hands. Hands that she adores so much, grabs at them every opportunity she gets - like right now. "Are you still coming over?", she asks while lacing her fingers with his and tucking him in the direction of her home.

"Of course. I can't wait to hear the lame story Cas just tried to tell you", he says and hides his smile in her hair. She starts giggling at his side and pushes her body into his. "I will give you every detail of it - after we showered", she says and winks at him. God he's so doomed.

He doesn't know how he got so lucky.

But he will do everything in his power, to keep it like that.

To keep her by his side.

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elleclairez · 3 years

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Cassian x reader - Cas is your mate, but he doesn’t know it yet

I finally wrote it! I am so sorry for the wait and thank you so much for your patience. The last month and a half were a bit crazy and I didn’t have much inspiration. I hope you like it!

Request: Can I request for cassian where the reader knows he’s her mate but cass doesn’t and he goes around flirting with nesta, hurting his mate without knowing and azriel notices that she’s hurting and comforts her, until cassian realizes and makes it up? 💙

The night was quiet. Not a dead quiet but a peaceful one. Which clearly was a nice change after all the horrors that we've been through. The war is over and yet you couldn't feel happy. At least not completely. Yes, you were happy that your friends, no, family, was safe. Happy that the bloodshed and the pain are over. But no matter how much you tried to fight it, the sadness in your heart wouldn't leave.

You couldn't bear it. Couldn't bear to see your mate flirting and following Nesta like a lost puppy. Especially tonight.

The Inner Court decided to throw a party to celebrate the end of the war. Everyone wanted to at least for a night forget about the nightmares of the past. You, yourself, wanted to have fun, get drunk with your cousins Mor and Rhys, maybe even annoy Amren to tease her. But all of those plans went down hills the moment you saw Cassian practically beg Nesta to dance with him.

You couldn't bear it, not tonight.

Which is why you found yourself on the huge balcony of the Wind House, staring at the beautiful city of Velaris that you've called home for more than a few centuries now. No matter how sad you were, you couldn't deny the beauty of the city you grew up in.

You considered yourself lucky, you, unlike your friends, grew up in a loving family. Your father, brother of the late High Lord, was very much unlike his family, he was like his sister-in-law (Rhys's mother), a dreamer. Which led him to fall a similar soul, a woman from the Autumn Court. They both fell in love, found out that they were mates, flew to Velaris and had you. They knew the price for their happiness, not everyone understood their way of thinking, and unfortunately, your father paid the price, he gave his life protecting yours and your mother's. You loved her dearly, but since his death, your relationship wasn't what it used to be but you were always by each other's side. And while you chose to live a life full of adventures with the Inner Circle, she chose to live a peaceful life in the Summer Court, something that you respected and even agreed to. She went through way too much and deserved some peace. But no matter how much time has passed you always remembered how in love your parents were and you always dreamed to have that one day. But unfortunately, fate had other plans and while the love of your life, your mate, was clearly having fun with the woman that he adored, you, on the other hand, were silently trying to stop yourself from crying.

The Mother did have a strange sense of humour, you thought. You were in love with a man who was in love with a woman who was in love with... Books maybe?

Your sad thoughts were interrupted by the presence of a not so sneaky shadowsinger. No matter how hard the Illyrian male tried to sneak up on you, he never could.

"I thought sulking in the shadows was my job." Started Azriel. You and Az were always the closest, actually, you already called each other "Platonic soulmates" (even though you were very drunk when it happened). Some people even thought that you were mates, but those rumors were shut down immediately. As was also the only one who knew about your mate's identity, and even though he told thousands of times to admit to Cas everything he still respected your decision and stayed by your side every time you weren't feeling good.

"Sorry, but tonight I'm stealing it." AZ chuckled at your response, but quickly stopped when he saw your longing stare. A stare that was clearly looking at Cassian and Nesta bickering and everyone was laughing at them... Actually, two persons weren't...

"Rhys and Feyre know." Az said as if reading your mind. "Rhys already had doubts, but they were confirmed when the Suriel decided to show up during one of their getaways and tell them everything." Explained Az while trying to decipher your face.

"What a gossiper. Remind me to beat his ass if I see him one day." You weren't sure if shock was good enough to describe how you felt right now. If Rhys suspected then it could mean that anyone else could and you certainly weren't ready for Cas to know about all of this.

"Very well." A comforting silence fell and you stayed like that for a few minutes until Az decided to break it. "I am the last person that you should listen when it comes to love, but I think you should tell him. But then again, it is up to you, I'll be there for you no matter what." He said with a smile and surprisingly hugged you, something quite unusual for Az.

"Thank you Az. I'll think about it." You answered truthfully while hugging back your best friend.

Little did you know that back inside the house, a not so drunk Cas watched you two angrily, Nesta long forgotten. For a few minutes Cassian couldn't quite understand where that anger came from until suddenly, it clicked, you were his mate. And at that moment the Illyrian male couldn't be happier, secretly he always hoped that you two could be mates, but centuries passed and nothing, so he decided to try to move on and keep you out of his mind by distracting himself with other women.

But with happiness came anger. Seeing you in the arms of another man, even his brother (best friend technically, but more like a brother), made him furious. He knew he had no right to be jealous, especially since he himself was running after Nesta like a puppy, but he couldn't help himself.

A few hours late, you found yourself back in your flat, makeup off, comfy clothes on, a nice book in your hands. Everything felt peaceful and then someone knocked at your door.

You swear if it's a drunk Mor, you will murder her.

Much to your surprise when you opened the door you didn't see a wasted Mor but a very sober Cassian. You couldn't understand what was he doing here and you didn't even try to hide your shock.

Seeing your expression Cas quickly started talking before he could start getting scared of you rejecting him and him being left broken-hearted.

"You are my mate."

You were too shocked to even comprehend what he was saying. You couldn't form words, your brain was literally exploding. Taking all your willpower in your hands in put on a serious face and said.

"I see that Nesta rejected you again. Didn't know that you would get that drunk because of it that you'd start imagining things." You didn't want him to know. Yes, you wanted to be with him, more than anything in the world, but not if another woman was in his heart at the same time.

"What?! No! I am not drunk and no she didn't reject me! I mean, yes she did but it doesn't matter because we're mates!" And before you could object Cassian put his hands on your cheeks so that you would at each other right in the eyes, he was so close that you feel his breathing on your face. It was silent for a few seconds and then Cas took a deep breath and whispered. "Y/N I have loved since the moment I met you. The moment I saw you, walking side by side with Rhys I knew that one day you would mine and I would be yours. Never could I ever imagine that you would love me, let alone be my mate, so I decided to move on, keep you out of my head but it never worked. No matter who I spent time with, deep i my heart, I would always think of you and tonight seeing you in Az's arms, when the bond clicked I told myself that I will stop being an idiot and that I will finally win you over. And that one day I could call you mine, my mate and you could do just the same. Y/N I am yours like it or not and I hope that one day you will let me call you mine." By the end of his speech both of you had tears running down your cheeks and the only thing that you could think about was how much you loved the man.

A few minutes has passed with him still holding your face and you his arms. Complete silence surrounded you with only your heart beats as sounds.

Then at one moment a wide smile grew on your face and you uttered.

"You are so lucky that I am the only good cook in the Inner Circle. I was thinking of cooking something right now, what do you think?"

At your words Cassian smiled like he never did before and took you in his arms causing him to lit you in the air and the finally kissing you.

The two of you couldn't happier. You have finally found each other. You were finally together and no one to get in between the two of you.

The next morning the whole Velaris could hear Mor's angry shouts at how was she not aware that her friend and cousin were actually mates. Those shouts were then soon followed by Rhys's laugh who quickly became silent when his cousin sent a shoe at his face for keeping that information to himself and his mate. It's a good thing that she doesn't know that Az was the first who knew.

#cassian x reader #acotar cassian x reader #acotar x reader #acotar #imagine #x reader #feyre archeron #rhysand #azriel #morrigan #amren #acomaf #acofar #cassian

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meshackdiva · 3 years

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I just want to say -

Elaine doesn't deserve Lucien. Lucien deserves better. End of story.

#lucien #elain archeron #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver fire #a court of thorns and roses #a court of frost and starlight #a court of wings and embers #sarah j maas #sjm books #sjm #acofar #acotar #acomaf #post acosf #acowaf #fight me

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venusian-grimoire · 3 years

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Feyre and everyone swearing over a cauldron is one of the best things in this series i swear

#acotar #acowar #acofar #sjm #sarah j maas #na books #new adult books #feyre #rhysand #feysand #morrigan #cassian #azriel #tamlin #lucien #feyre cursebreaker #a court of thrones and roses #a court of mist and fury #acomaf

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evolving-dreamer · 3 years

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My reaction when Tamlin, once again, fucked up and betrayed+sold Prythian to Hybern for the second time

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linenwrites · 4 years

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Reforget (Part 3 / Final)

Part 1

Part 2

_____________________

Elain was still trying to wrap her head around the last twenty minutes.

Surely, she was still in some sort of blackout dream state because there was no way this was real.

After promising her elderly neighbor that she was fine and, no, the six foot tall muscular man sitting on the floor in front of her was not some would-be-assailant that Elain had managed to incapacitate by breaking the sound barrier with her ear piercing scream, Elain had just starred at Azriel.

We need to talk.

Like hell they did.

Elain stepped over his sprawling legs and walked towards the side door at the end of the hallway that exited right onto the street. She heard his footsteps, marveled at how he always managed to be stealthy despite his aforementioned large body, and managed to get several steps outside the door before he appeared before her.

"Elain. I'm not joking. We need to talk." He practically growled at her.

"Not before I get my coffee." She said with an airy tone that was not at all in line with the anxiety coursing through her body.

Elain sidestepped him easily enough and began taking long strides towards the coffee shop.

All of Elain's energy was focused on him behind her. She tried to identify his footsteps from the other pedestrians, ears pricking at each frustrated huff he let out.

He didn't speak during the duration of their walk nor while they waited in the queue. The only time he had truly made his presence known was when he made to grab for his wallet. Elain let loose a sound of disgust as she batted his hand away.

The barista raised her eyebrows in concern at Elain. She was a regular and was friendly with the woman. Elain shook her head minutely before rolling her eyes. The barista chuckled slightly as Azriel crossed his arms but he remained silent still.

They were now walking back to her apartment. Elain sipped on her drink as she considered her options.

She could always slam the door in his face once they got back to her apartment though he would likely just sit there again, waiting for her to come out.

She knew the words that she could spit at him that would make him walk away and never look back. Elain shook her head slightly. Even now, she couldn't bare the thought of striking such a blow.

Azriel opened the door to the building and Elain breezed past him inside without so much a nod of gratitude.

She slid her key into the lock and opened the door, holding it open and gesturing him inside.

It looks like they were doing this.

There was a stab of pain in her heart as she looked at him. He moved towards the spot on the sofa that he normally occupied with a familiarity that he had earned but now seemed so misplaced. How many times had she sat beside him, feet in his lap or curled up in a blanket as they watched TV or talked until her lavender and lemon candles burned out?

It had all felt so right back then. Now it was messing with her head about how flipping wrong it was.

Part of Elain wanted to sit beside him once again. She could say that they could forget her silly little confession so they could go back to the way things were.

But that was impossible. She knew that.

Instead, she sat in the floral armchair that served as her coat rack during the fall and winter months when she was too lazy to take the few extra steps to the hooks in the wall.

He looked at her and she looked back, taking the opportunity to really take him in.

She was struck by him. He was beautiful, he always had been, but his eyes were dull. There were bags under those dull eyes that normally weren't present. His skin, which normally was a warm bronze had an ashen hewn to it and his clothes were rumpled from his time sleeping on the floor.

All together, he looked rather unwell.

Good.

Elain sipped on her coffee.

"You said you wanted to talk?"

He nodded before letting out a long breath she hadn't realized he had been holding.

"Why were you dancing with Eris Vansera last night?"

Elain blinked. Of all the questions he could have asked…

"I wasn't." She answered slowly.

Memories of the previous night came back to her. She had danced with someone briefly before she got sick but it hadn't been Eris.

Right?

Her hands began to shake at the possibility.

She hadn't seen the man's face. The man had grabbed her and she had let him.

"Oh god." She muttered, a hand flying to her neck in horror.

"It's okay, it's okay." He looked like he was about to stand but thought better of it. Azriel leaned forward, leaning his elbows against his knees. "Feyre said she didn't think you knew it was him. I just needed to know."

His words cut through her disgust and horror like a knife.

"'Needed to know'," she repeated. "Do you really think so little of me, Azriel?"

"No. God, no, Elain." His face had fallen in horror but she wasn't having it.

"Get out." She stood up, "I don't need this from you, Azriel. I haven't spoken to you in weeks and I don't need you accusing me of this."

Elain walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" He retorted, voice raised as he followed her. Elain whirled on him.

"What do you want from me? I told you that I loved you, you said you didn't want me. I am not going to be like-" She stopped herself, physically holding up her hand to stop herself from saying anything more.

"To be like what, Elain?" Azriel seethed at her.

"To be like you!" She exploded, "I'm not going to pine after you for years. I love you. I love you so much that it drives me crazy half the time but I will not be some lovesick fool, wasting my life loving someone who doesn't love me back. I deserve more than that and, goddamn it, so do you."

She didn't know when the tears started falling but by the end, they were coming so hard that she could barely get the words out. Elain ran her fingers through her hair and she pulled on the strands.

Maybe she was mad, after all.

Azriel stepped forward and she held up a hand again, stepping back so she was pressing herself into the counter.

"Don't, don't touch me. Please." Her voice broke on the last word.

She wanted him to ignore her, to step forward and sweep her up into his arms. She wanted him to get the hell out of her apartment and never see him again.

In typical Azriel fashion, he did neither of the things she wanted.

"Is that what you think of me, Elain?" He asked instead, voice quiet.

His eyes were bloodshot. She had never seen him cry, never seen him get truly emotional. It tore her in two to see him so close to the edge now. After all he had endured and all her promises to never hurt him, here they stood.

Elain wiped her tears and took a deep breath before nodding.

"Yes. No. I'm not sure. I know it wasn’t fair for me to tell you how I felt. You've told me how you feel about her and I've seen the way you look at her. But I had to. I couldn't just live with it."

Azriel nodded slowly and Elain wiped her face again as she sniffled.

"Have you said everything you wanted to this time?" She asked quietly.

Azriel let out a humorless laugh. "I haven't said anything I came here to."

Elain waited, giving him the time to say whatever was so important.

"I went to see Mor last night."

"Great, I'm second to her yet again." Elain couldn't help herself, the words tumbled out of her before they had even fully formed in her brain.

"Can you just let me finish, Elain?" He breathed.

She could tell he was trying to keep his temper on a leash, could see the fury burning behind his eyes. Normally, Elain would fight back, tell him he had no right to speak to her in such a way but she was exhausted.

Elain nodded.

"Thank you. I went to see her last night. I needed to ask her why she never came out and told me that she would never want me in the ways that I wanted her. I hurt you in the same ways she hurt me, I was just too much of an idiot to realize.

"See, you're braver than I am, Elain. I knew for so goddamn long but I couldn't handle the rejection. Mor thought that I would eventually just get over it but as the years passed it became something, insurmountable or whatever. I think that's the way it felt for us both. I just got so used to the idea of being in love with her that it became a default setting for me."

"Why are you telling me this?" Elain breathed.

"Because I need you to understand. I always thought she would come first for me, no matter what. But when Rhys told me last night that you had been with Eris," a chill raked down her spine at the name, "I knew I needed to see you. I knew. Every part of me wanted to be with you in ways that I have never felt for Mor. I needed to know that you were safe. It's why I was outside your door this morning. I let my mind run wild. Lucien had known where your apartment was so, what if, somehow Eris did too? It was ridiculous and domineering of me but I knew you wouldn't let me in and I couldn't stomach the thought that you were alone."

Elain didn't let the words register, not really.

"Azriel, I haven't heard from you in weeks. Even if I'm not your second choice, I don't want to be with someone who only contacts me because I crossed paths with a sociopath."

Rejection, then confusion, then dawning comprehension flashed across Azriel's face.

"You blocked my number."

It wasn't a question but she nodded slowly in confirmation.

Azriel reached for his phone, punching in the passcode before handing it over to her.

It was pulled up to their text thread, the last sent message from yesterday afternoon.

- You still mad?

She scrolled up. And up. And up.

Countless messages from the last few weeks. Some were just the word 'hi' while others were paragraphs long.

She didn't ask permission, just flipped over to his outbound call log to see the same thing. Call after call, all to her.

Elain fell backwards into the counter, reaching a hand back to brace herself.

She felt dizzy but there was still one final thing, one final question she needed to ask before she let down her walls completely.

"You told me you didn't love me."

Azriel flinched.

"I care for you, El." She felt her heart sink as she prepared for the rejection but he held up his hands. "I care about you and I never stopped. Even if we were just friends, I would still care about you.

"I want to try, you know? To see if this could be something. But you can't fault me for not wanting to slide a ring onto your finger right this second. I've been really pissed at you for cutting me out the last few weeks and I know I've hurt you." He sighed. "And I still have my commitment issues so if we are going to do this, I want to take it slow. Okay?"

Elain nodded, feeling slightly dumbfounded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Azriel sighed before pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes.

"Now what?" Elain whispered and he just laughed.

"Can we.. Can we just take a nap?"

Elain laughed too before reaching out her hand to intertwine their fingers to lead him back to her bedroom.

As she curled in beside him, her head resting on his chest, she breathed in his scent.

They were not in the clear just yet but Elain was willing to fight for him, to reforget the pain once more and try to make this into something wonderful.

_____________________

AN: I have been sitting on this for weeks now. Part of me wanted to go all in with the angst but, each time I sat down to write it, I kept writing it in this way.

I’m going to blame COVID and just not really having the emotional capacity to have more doom and gloom in my life right now.

That being said.. I may return to this eventually. My favorite bit to write was part 1. I found it really interesting to explore a part of Elain we never really get to see in cannon.

This was originally inspired by Reforget by Lauv, in case anyone is interested.

I hope you all enjoyed. Thanks for sticking around. <3

_____________________

@lil-mis-red

#elain #elain x azriel #elain and azriel #elriel #azriel #azriel x elain #azriel and elain #acotar #acowar #acofar #acofas #reforget

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norwigianbluefairy · 8 months

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Chapter Three. #Update.

So, I FINALLY finished chapter three.😂

I kept going back and forth between different scenes, unable to figure out what was off about the chapter.

Turns out, I had written two different part togheter, which was confusing enough, but they were so similar that it literally took me forever to figure out what I had done. 😂

I actually do that particular thing quite a lot, which sadly leads me to take forever doing ONE simple task because I have to keep checking my own work a hundred times. 😂

ANYWAY!

I did it! 😝😂

#acotar #acowar #acofas #acomaf #acosaf #acotar fanfiction #fanfiction #high fae #autumn court #acofar

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sissi-impress · 4 years

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I’ve been rereading ACOTAR and honestly it opened my eyes to a lot of things.

First of all, I knew from the first time I read the series that I did not like it as much as ToG, to me it didn’t even compare. And there’s a lot of things that I didn’t like:

The plot was nonexistent to me. The supposed war that was basically just one battle?? Most of the time, the war was in the background of everything else happening. The focus was always on the relationships, so really there was no real threat. As opposed to ToG, I wasn’t afraid of what was coming, there was no real tension, I just didn’t feel like there was anything at stake.

Also, the magical powers make no sense at all. In ToG, everyone had a limit. Here, nothing is really explained and no one seems to have a limit until suddenly they do. Rhys is described as the most powerful in Prythian but just saying it doesn’t really make it true, and it somehow didn’t feel like it to me. Also what is Mor’s power? It has to do with being truthful but I don’t get what it is.

Most importantly, I didn’t like Feyre. Who is she really? Apart from painting, we know nothing about her personality and that’s a hobby not a trait. Her character never stood out, I couldn’t get attached to her and I didn’t like the way she reacted most of the time. When I first read the series, I had just finished ToG and I couldn’t help but compare and there really isn’t much to compare. Feyre is bland, and it feels like she’s passive in her own story. Also, her being Rhys’ mate didn’t make sense to me because they were not equal in any way. She was a child and didn’t know anything about the world and in some scenes you could really feel that.

All of this, I already somewhat knew the first time I read ACOTAR but rereading it made me look up people’s opinions, not just the fans but the critics. That really opened my eyes to a lot of problems with SJM’s writing.

For example, it is now clear to me that she is not good at world building. She rather adds things along the way, instead of establishing the world first, which results in plot holes and a sense of “fakeness”. As I felt before, her focus is on the relationships and making the characters seem brave and destined to great things and being saviors, and that sometimes feels forced. I also was blinded by how much I loved seeing Feysand’s relationship bloom and totally forgot about how disgusting it is that Rhys drugged Feyre and made her dance for him. That is assault and there is no other way to call that.

I haven’t been a SJM fan for a long time but her books quickly became very important to me. But now, I have to admit that I am questioning a lot of it. Despite all of this, I still can’t get myself to completely stop reading her books. Unfortunately, I am a straight girl who loves the classic romance tropes and has a thing for bad boys who are actually soft boys and that is exactly what SJM targets and what she is good at writing. I already know that I will read the books she drops next, but at least I can be more critical of them.

#acotar #acomaf #acofar #feyre archeron #rhysand #sjmass #sjm #tog #sarah j maas #crescent city #hoeab #a court of thorns and roses #throne of glass #aelin galythinius #anti sjm

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