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moonystoes · 3 months

Text

Safe Dance - Elisa De Almeida x international!reader

summary: this pretty much explains it all lol.

Warning: Sexual assault, old man being a creep, mentions of alcohol, not well written, slowww burn like it's pissing me off too im sorry, elisa being our protective queen.

a/n: i'm bringing this up again, i just started writing, especially fics as long as this (the last one -and the first- had only 500 words). So feedback and help is needed!! also sorry i got a little bored and wrote too many useless things lol.

w/c: 5.218k

You knew you needed to celebrate your high GPA after graduating from your bachelor degree at some point. But you've been putting it off, feeling like it's too much effort and energy for your introverted self. It's no secret French people are distant towards foreigners, it's been something known worldwide (which is ironic since a big part of their population are people of color coming from different countries from Africa and Asia). But you ignored all the toxic things you heard about France when you unexpectedly got a scholarship into the University of Paris.

Now, four years later, you are still alone. You have made friends in some projects, but right when the project is over, your friendship ends as well. Your mom has messaged you a long paragraph on how proud she is of you, but the loneliness is still wearing you down. You knew you probably looked silly walking down the street, wearing a short V-neck dress with high heels obviously to party, but there is a permanent frown on your face.

When you looked up from your phone, you didn't even need to look for the club. You can feel the music vibrate the ground and there is a huge line at the entrance. You turned off your phone and waited in line, wanting to just drink all day and celebrate by then. You checked on your friend (an international student like you) who promised that she'll be here, but your message was left on delivered for 2 hours.

After 15 minutes of scrolling through your Instagram and 3 missed calls to Liz, it was your turn to show the security your ID. His dark eye bags showed you that he was too exhausted to care, so he took less than a second to glance at your card before returning it to you, and opening the door for you in a frustrated way.

You walked in awkwardly, couples grinding and dancing around you, you felt disgusted - and secretly jealous. The club was dark and had red LED lights, it was filled with large posters of icons and models from the 70s, and of course the playboy magazines of women wearing lingerie. It looked good enough for you to settle down on the bar stool and immediately order a light drink.

While you were sitting there to decide whether you should dance or wait for Liz (you were honestly frustrated at her for ditching you with no explanation), the bartender passed a large drink towards you. You glanced at him with a confused look, “oh sorry, I didn't order this.”

“Yeah I know, it's the man there.” He pointed to the table on your left, to an older man with thin white hair. Your jaw dropped when you looked at him, realizing that he caught you staring.

“Umm… that old man?” You tried your hardest to whisper over the thudding music, trying not to let the creep that is sitting just 2 meters away from you hear what you said. The bartender nodded and walked away to the other side of the bar, making you sigh in annoyance that he didn't bother to even help you out. You slowly pushed the light pink drink away from you, it smelled strong which showed his true intentions, getting you drunk.

You pulled out your phone and texted Liz a quick message, “Liz a man is being weird where are you ☹️☹️?” You scrolled through your gallery to pretend you are doing something and distract yourself from the man on your left, until you are tapped on the shoulder. You froze, quickly turning off your phone as you took a deep breath, pretending that you didn't feel it.

“May I know why you didn't accept the drink, it was really expensive.” you flinched when you felt his breath hit your neck, no way this is happening today. Where the fuck is Liz? You turned around slowly, trying to act calm and collected, “sorry, I didn't want to drink today, I'm just here for someone.”

“I don't see anyone here,” he mockingly glanced around the bar to see the ‘person’ you were waiting for. “I saw you drink just a few minutes ago.”

You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath. You glanced at his striking blue eyes and felt your hands starting to shake, you looked away back to the drink he ordered for you and grasped it, taking a small sip just to taste what it is. You knew you were fucked, Liz isn't here and she's probably not going to come, the bartender couldn't give a shit, and this man won't leave you alone. Why was he at a bar on a Wednesday night? Doesn't he have some office job to do tomorrow or is he too old that he's retired now.

The drink tasted sour and tangy, but had a strawberry flavor. The burning of your throat made you cough and your eyes shutting close, it was definitely alcoholic, very alcoholic. You rested the drink on the table and faked-smiled and awkwardly nodded, but your smile disappeared when his hand clutched your arm and pulled you forward, “why don't you dance with me, huh? Wearing this dress for nothing must be a shame.”

You panicked and took a quick scan of your surroundings to see who could help. On the bar table to your left, there were other older men, possibly friends of the weirdo that's now bruising your arm. On the large leather sofas that were placed on the other corner, there was a couple?...a throple? A man was sitting comfortably on it as he crossed his legs on the mini table in front of him, two girls were sprawled over him, one playing with his hair and the other playing with his shirt while she chugs from a beer can…yeah they will be too busy to help.

You took a quick turn to the VIP entrance, seeing a short girl with a Gucci bag waiting to be let in… rich spoiled people are too busy to look around. You swore you never cared about religion until then, when the man tugged you to his chest, your eyes slowly closing as you were holding your tears praying to God to let you out of this misery.

You felt his hands being placed on your hips, as he forcefully tugged your back towards his groin. He pushed you to the crowded area so people can't see your discomfort in your face.

But before he does more than this, a large hand tugged you away from the man, making the man behind you exhale loudly. “Anna! I'm sorry for making you wait, hey let's go…umm do you know him?” you've never heard such a soft yet deep voice like this. Before you even had the chance to look at who grabbed you, her right arm tugged you into her chest, trying to hide you from the stranger. “No, I don't.” You whispered, afraid of making the situation even bigger.

“Seriously? you were waiting for this…” His angry voice and arm pointing at the both of you made you anxiously stare at him. He looked at the woman hugging you up and down with disgust before muttering a ‘nevermind’ and stomping off.

You shakingly held tightly into her, staring at the spot the man was at. “Are you okay?” She let out a soft whisper from above your head. You were shaken at the whole encounter, blocking off what she said until you felt soft taps on your shoulder, making you look up at her.

This was the first opportunity you had to actually see who saved you from this, and she was gorgeous. She had sunglasses placed on the collar of her dress shirt with two of the buttons opened. Why was she even wearing a dress shirt at a club? When you looked up to her face (because she's 5 '9 and the first thing you saw was her tan skin), her hair was short, swooped to the side. Her cheekbones were sharp and her eyes were furrowed worriedly. You quickly separated from her and took two steps away.

“Hey, it's okay.” She took a step forward, opening her hands around her face to show you she doesn't want to hurt you, “are you waiting for someone?”

You looked away from her eyes, the smell of alcohol and sweat is making it difficult for you to think straight -literally. You looked at your phone, finding a new notification, “oh thank God she responded!” You relaxed, until you pressed on it.

“Hey baby!! It's your favorite uncle 😉, just saw your post about graduating. Congratulations! I miss you so much. Maybe one day we can all reunite when you graduate your masters 💪keep working hard!”

You inhaled deeply, turning off your phone and throwing it in your mini purse. You looked at the woman, she looked at you with raised brows waiting for an explanation for your reaction. You rested your hand on your forehead and frustratedly groaned out, “no she fucking ignored my messages.”

Her face turned sour as she looked behind you, probably to the place where the old men were sitting, giving you the chance to look at her face once again. You blushed at her clenched sharp jaw, slight pink cheeks, and the soft lips. When you looked back at her eyes, she was already looking at you.

You internally wanted to kill yourself for looking at her lips, because she definitely caught that. You looked away to her arms, doing everything in your power to not look at her face again. But then you realized glancing at her arms will make the situation even worse. Her arms were athletic and the sleeves were tight around her biceps. How is she this hot?

“You can stay with me, my friends are here.” She softly grasped your hand, pulling you away from the crowded dance floor. “It's fine, I'll just go home.”

“No, come on! It's a secluded area, no one will bother us.” She encouraged you, her hand still in yours. You looked down at your heels, you felt like shit. This whole time at the bar was for you and Liz to celebrate your day and you end up being a charity case for a hot woman. You don't even know why you chose the club, you hated partying anyways. You bit into your lip, one single line going through your head:

I deserve to celebrate my achievements no matter with who. I'm the one who worked hard for this, I need this.

“Okay just… Please don't do this because you feel bad for what happened.” her eyes softened, intertwining your fingers with hers and whispering a soft ‘never’. You felt embarrassed as she was dragging you around the bar to the place her friends are staying at, you didn't want to see anyone’s face so you just looked down at your intertwined hands and hoped you won't collide with anyone. Your hand looked small compared to her large ones as she held into you, feeling her rough skin tightly around yours.

When you realized she stopped, you looked up to where she took you. “Oh no… I'm not going there,” You frowned at her, “VIP? I heard it's expensive here.” You felt guilty that she might spend money on a spot for you, but you were curious on how she makes enough money to be here.

“Don't worry, my work has paid for the night here, I didn’t spend a euro on me or anyone.” She smiled at you, finding it cute how you were worried about her money. She let go of your hand and opened the door slowly, signaling her hand to follow her.

You stood still for a few seconds, feeling exhausted and tired. And unfortunately, you felt gross. You looked down at your dress, remembering what the old man said. It was your favorite, it may not look fancy but you've loved it and waited for a moment to wear it, now you can't even glance at it without feeling down. You glanced at the woman, she had already taken a few steps until she realized you weren't following her, “Do you want to go home? I can order you an Uber?”

This was your chance to actually get to know someone, you've been alone all this time in Paris and Liz was an American student. The woman in front of you seemed like the first French woman that actually tried to befriend you, and she's attractive. Her face softened as she took a few steps towards you again, understanding your silence. “My name is Elisa, what's yours?”

“Y/n.” You didn't know what to do after this so you reached out your hand to handshake her, internally cringing from how awkward you are…no wonder why your love life is as low as your mood today. She giggled and grasped your hand, shaking it aggressively. You looked at her with a confused face and she just winked quickly, “so… y/n why are you here at the club on a Wednesday night?”

“I just graduated so I wanted to celebrate.” You were staring at your held hands, feeling awkward when looking at anyone's eyes, especially élisa's. But when you felt her hand immediately let go of yours and wipe it off with her dress pants, you looked at her face slightly hurt. Her eyes are slightly widened, which made you realize why she let go of your hand, “bachelor degree in physical therapy.”

“Ohh! That's so nice. You know at my job we need a lot of physiotherapists, I like them.” Her body physically relaxed, making you laugh at her panic. The poor woman thought you were some high school student, but you didn't blame her, you never made it clear when you spoke about it.

“Cool… what do you work as?” You asked, a smile appearing in your face. You didn't realize that by a small comment, Elise made your feelings better just as she planned. She let out an open smile when she noticed yours, feeling proud of herself for making you feel better.

“Guess.”

Your smile wiped off your face, “no please I don't like doing this game just say it.”

She laughed, “I'll give you a hint, I wear number 5.”

It took a moment for you to answer because you froze when you heard her laugh, making a stupid grin plaster into your face, “...football?” You dragged the word as you questioned, worried it might be wrong. She nodded with a proud smile.

“Wow, that's so cool I do watch football!... not the women, I don't know where to watch…sorry.”

She laughed, stepping closer and resting her left arm around your shoulder, encouraging you to walk through the dark maroon hallway with her. “It's okay, we're used to it.”

When you looked up from this angle, your attraction worsened. Her side profile was perfect. It took a moment for you to recover from it, “ehm…some girls in my class wanted to be football physios so they could work with Szoboszlai.” You muttered, obviously not knowing what to say. You didn't know if you should wrap your right hand around her waist or just keep it awkwardly limping between the both of you.

She glanced at you and laughed, “and you? Is that what you wanted?”. You looked away, deciding to focus on the dark walnut wood corridor in front of you instead of her eyes. “I don't really like men.”

“Ha! Me too.” Her left arm tapped your shoulder to the beat of the music. Elisa was glad that you weren't into men; she felt like it's finally her time where she can get attention from a woman that isn't a fangirl. She pulled you inside a room, filled with people singing and jumping around.

You felt sick all over again, not knowing Elisa had this many friends. You remembered her speaking about her work paying for this, are all of these people her teammates? The room was built almost like a sunken living room, the leather couches were placed into the ground around the walls with stairs in the side, and two small tables placed in two opposite corners that were filled with drinks and purses. Elisa felt your body turn rigid, she leaned in close to your ear and whispered gently, “They're all nice, I promise.” You turned to look at her, you didn't understand why but you felt at ease around her, maybe because of what she did earlier, but you took a deep breath and calmed down.

She pointed at an empty seat next to a blonde woman, “hey Jackie, this is y/n, she's a physiotherapy graduate.” Jackie turned to look at you and elisa, she smiled brightly and raised her hand to signal you to sit with her. You let out a tight-lipped smile and approached the table to sit. You noticed Jackie looking at your attire and glancing at Elisa with a confused look, but before she said a thing, Elisa interrupted her by saying she needed to go to the bathroom.

Well shit, now you have to do this alone. You stared at Elisa as she was walking out, secretly checking her out and also praying that she’ll come back soon. “Umm… do you work here?”

You turned to look at Jackie, “oh, no. I'm just here to party.”

“Ohh…I thought you were one of the dancers offered here.” She looked at her whiskey and took a sip, clearly not seeing the shock in your face.

You froze as you gave her a confused glance, “oh. You thought I was a stripper?” You glanced down at your dress… It's a short dress, yes, but a dancer? You had no disrespect for them, just felt a little confused. Does Elisa call dancers for a lap dance? Is this where she went to?

“Oh not your dress! It's just that Elisa never spoke about bringing someone here so I assumed. Also, you're really pretty.” She gave you a wink with her compliment.

You gave her a soft smile with a shy ‘thanks’. “Elisa isn't really into those things, that’s why I was kind of confused.” She nudged your arm when you glanced at the exit again, realizing that you were waiting for Elisa. After hearing what Jackie said, you relaxed into your seat and looked at your surroundings.

Everyone seemed drunk except one, her thick black hair was tied in a high ponytail, too engrossed with her phone to really notice anyone. The other players were dancing, some were singing loudly to some song by Aya, an icon in french music from what you noticed in the past four years living here. “May I ask how you know elisa?” Jackie asked.

“Oh we just met here so…” you shrugged, you didn't feel like telling anyone what actually happened. Jackie nodded, taking her purse into her lap and pulling things out, trying to find something in it. After a while of scrolling on tiktok and looking at the girls partying, Elisa came back in, immediately settling down next to you. You looked at her with a smile, glad that she's back, but your smile was wiped off when you saw her frustrated and sweaty state. When she noticed the worry in your eyes she leaned in closer to you, “Do you like this club?”

You were caught off guard from this question and nodded slowly, “good because I want you to come back here,” You were confused, obviously you'll never come here. It doesn't matter how nice and fancy this place is, after that weirdo, you'll never step foot here. “I kicked him out, he's banned from coming here again.”

“Wa- wait what?” You gasped, looking at the door she came back from, expecting to see him standing there. But he wasn't, and even from the small glass window on the door, you can see that his spot is now empty, as well as his friends’.

“I want you to feel safe celebrating your achievements, I know today has probably been shit.” You bit your lip, turning to look at Jackie playing with her now found camera. You couldn't look at Elisa's eyes or else you would cry. You felt her hand softly caress your shoulder, bringing your body closer to hers. “Thank you, I mean… I don't even know what else to say.”

She gave you a gentle smile and turned to look at her teammates singing karaoke now. “No problem, now do you want to sing and dance with them? Or just sit here?”

“I'll just sit here, you can have fun with them.”

She looked back at you, deciding to lean back into the coach and find a comfortable position. “I play for Paris Saint Germain.”

“What! No way…I feel like shit for not watching you play.” You gasped, psg is the biggest team in France. And that's probably because they are loaded with money and can afford the top players, but you wondered how powerful the women's team is.

She laughed, quickly shaking her head, “don't feel that way! I just wanted to tell you. We just got qualified for the quarterfinals of the champions league that's why they're all drunk and shit.” She tilted her head towards a player dancing on the table. You bit your lip trying not to laugh at the poor woman, but when you heard Elisa's cackle, you let out a little laugh.

“Quarterfinals to the champions league… that's great! That's so cool, honestly, you should go and dance with them!” You pushed her towards the women, but she didn't even budge. She winked at you when she saw you try to move her and held your arm down, “Are you actually trying to push me or are you playing around?”

You knew she was joking, she can tell your struggling face when you tried to push her. You glanced at the way she grabbed your forearm, feeling the blush coming around your cheeks. Her muscles tensed beneath her fitted black shirt, elisa has been trying to subtly send you hints without panicking too much. But she knew she needed to do something even more, so she let her hand slowly go from your forearm to your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. A shy smile broke out in both of your faces, looking up to see her already smiling at you. “Okay…maybe I do want to dance a little.”

You bite your lip and give her a soft nod, indicating that you wanted to dance with her. She grinned brightly and stood up from the couch, delicately pulling you with her. You felt content for the first time, you're finally going to dance and party like how you wanted before you came here in the first place. Elisa pulled you into her body, looking at your eyes to see if you're okay with her wrapping her arms around your waist. You felt speechless so you just nodded and dragged your hands from her forearms all the way to her shoulders, blushing at the feeling of her rough muscles.

Because you were busy trying to mask your flustered state, you didn't notice the panic Elisa was in. Her tightly wrapped hands were shaking and it seemed like she couldn't even glance at your face for three seconds without finding something else to look at. The girls had stopped singing karaoke now, the speaker playing some french afrobeats. “I forgot to tell you, I'm shit at dancing. I was planning on getting too drunk to care.” You admitted with a laugh, elisa tightened her hands around your waist, making your chest flush with hers. “Oh wait until you see me dance.”

“You do realize this song isn’t for slow dancing?” You loved the feeling of her body against yours, but the idea of slow dancing to afrobeats in front of people is confusing you. “Shhh don’t ruin the moment now.” she joked, turning her head around the room, she looked back at you and said, “They’re all too drunk to care.”

You looked around the room, and fortunately she was right. The girls were all dancing, separated into multiple groups and only focusing on them. Even the sober one had stood up and was dancing with the rest. You rested your head on her shoulder, feeling like it doesn’t matter at this point what happens between you. Elisa will probably forget about you, and date an instagram model like every football player does -well… that’s what the male players do at least.

“You tired?” her velvety voice soothed you as she leaned her head on yours. You closed your eyes and hummed in response, not feeling like moving your body. You tried to excuse the exhaustion as the sickness from the old man, but throughout the semester, you have been sleeping 4 hours and only working and studying. And today has been the day you can finally rest.

Elisa moved her hands from your waist to wrap them around your shoulders instead. As much as she was worried about the possible rejection from you, she felt great about you being okay with her physical touches and wanted to enjoy the chance. She can feel your beating heart from the thin dress you’re wearing against her sternum. Elisa’s long fingers were playing with the hem of the dress from your neck, her body slowly rocking as if she’s putting a baby to sleep.

“Thank you,” You whispered, opening your eyes just to see her jaw. “For today. I may not seem happy, but I am really grateful for this, I’m happy.”

“Do you want to go home?”

You stayed silent for a few seconds, before letting out a short breathy laugh, “Is it obvious I don’t like to party?” You didn’t want to offend her, especially after what she did.

“I can call an uber for you, or I can drive you home if you don’t feel safe.” You almost wanted to cry at how thoughtful she is, but you knew you needed some alone time after all of this. Also, the thought of parting ways with Elisa and her completely forgetting about you is eating you alive.

“Thank you, but I’ll feel very guilty if I take you away from the party you should be celebrating.” You let go of the tight embrace you were in, looking at her eyes to let her know how much you meant it. She sighed and nodded with a small hidden frown in her face. Elisa felt like a child attached to a toy, she was worried to let you go and never find you again. Now that she kicked the assaulters out, she hoped you’d come to the club more often.

“Okay, I’ll walk you out.” She held your hand and walked you out of the VIP entrance. The smell of sweat and alcohol hit you in the face, the club is even busier now since it was around 10 at night. Elisa pulled you to her body, putting her arm around your shoulder protectively in case someone does a thing to you. Once you reached the closest exit, she pushed the heavy door and let you go out.

“Ehm… Can I have your phone number?” Elisa suddenly blurted, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye, so she said the lamest thing she thought, “Just to make sure you went home safe…you never know what can happen.”

When Elisa asked that question, your heart started beating faster, your worry about losing her is now out of your head, feeling glad that she wanted to contact you. But after her explanation, you sighed in disappointment, she’s probably not interested in you, she wants to know if you went home safe only.

“Yeah, okay.” You opened your hand, waiting for her to hand you her phone. She pulled out her phone from her front pocket, and passed it to you quickly. Her palms were sweaty from anxiousness, and she hoped her sweat wasn’t all over the phone. She knew she fucked up, she could’ve told you the truth but instead she acted like some sick teenager, and it made her even more annoyed with herself when she saw the excitement in your face disappear like fog. She wanted you to know she’s interested in you. You typed your phone number quickly, before giving it back to her with a tight smile.

“Bye-Bye,” You stepped back, still facing her. “Again, thank you for today.” You gave her a small wave, and then turned and walked your way back home. She was invading your thoughts, her face, her smile, her deep yet delicate voice, her body, and the fact that she’s a professional player that can get anyone she wants.

Once you reached home, you looked at your phone notifications, there were none. 0 from Liz, and 0 from Elisa. You cussed yourself, why would she even bother to text you? She is the hottest woman you’ve ever seen, you probably look like charity work next to her exes. You boiled water for instant noodles, feeling too low to even worry about making dinner. After eating the soggy cheap noodles, you turned on the bathtub faucet and added some oils to calm you down and distract you from Elisa. You contemplated on searching up her name and see what google says about her, but you forced yourself to not even look up a picture of her. She clearly doesn’t care about you, why would you care about her?

After the 30 minute depressing bath, you plopped into the bed, not bothering to put the blanket over you. You suddenly heard a notification ding from your phone. Closing your eyes tightly, you swore that if it's Liz you'll run to her house barefoot to yell at her. When you heard another ding, you opened your eyes slowly and reached out for your bedside table.

[Unknown number]

I'm sorry

I was acting like a kid around u I wanted to ask you out but I got too shy

Can I take you to dinner one day?

You bit into your lip harshly, trying so hard to suppress your blush. You thought about it for a second, you weren't mad because she couldn't ask you out in front of you. You couldn't do it either, and you were also flattered to the thought of her being too shy in front of you. It felt as though she was the confident one there. It didn't matter anyways, what mattered is that you wanted to be hers. And if this date is the first step, you'll take it.

[You]

Okay

Only if I can go and watch you play on the quarterfinals

[Elisa ⚽️]

Really??

YES OF COURSE

Only with my jersey 😉

You turned off your phone and banged your head into the pillow, grabbing your phone again to send her a quick message.

[You]

Of course

I'm going to sleep rn

Good night 💞

[Elisa ⚽️]

Good night 😴

You turned off your phone and closed your eyes, immediately sleeping from the exhaustion of the day.

[Elisa⚽️]

The dress looked perfect on you.

#elisa de almeida #élisa de almeida #nel's writings #elisa de almeida x reader #élisa de almeida x reader #elisa de almedia fluff #woso #woso fanfiction #woso fanfics #woso x reader #women’s football #wlw fanfic

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inciting-chaos-series · 1 year

Note

j can you please make a corpse x reader where they are both publicly dating and as all internet couples do, get a fair amount of hate. but one day a specific comment gets under the readers skin so they distance themselves from corpse (lots of angst but with a good ending ?)

I'm sorry this took forever, I couldn't get my meds and went a lil crazy agh, also idk if this is any good tbh I feel bad at writing lately. Hopefully you like it though oof.

-J The Ghost

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Request: Hate Mail

You woke up from your nap to the sounds of several voices coming from the other room. He must be streaming… You thought groggily as you stretched and snuggled back into the covers enveloped in the scent of his cologne. You pulled out your phone and checked the time, almost four… Jesus, he really had made good on his word, you didn’t even realize you could be that exhausted. As you scrolled through your socials you saw the notifications of most of his friends live streams. Sussy Sundays, of course, how did you forget? He really had taken it out of you earlier.

You were grateful to have weekends off, allowing you to see him more than just any days you managed to get off work at a decent time, but you hated Sundays. You both took turns staying over at each other's houses and coming up with fun things to do together, but since he’d agreed to be a part of the Sussy Sundays, you had to find a way to entertain yourself. When he would stay at your house, it was easy to find things to do- dishes, laundry, and tidying up always needed done- but at his place, he mostly ordered takeout, and didn't really have enough stuff to ever accumulate messes, much less any laundry, so you were left to figure something else out.

A few times he’d asked you to join in on games, or hangout and watch him, but if the viewers got wind that you were with him- everyone's chat would latch on and start blowing up about it. You hated the fact that you’d turn viewers' attention away from the streamers they were watching, which led to you feeling guilty for making even the slightest sounds despite both him and his ever supportive friends trying to actively involve you.

Ever since the two of you had gone public, the internet had gone wild. In the beginning fans were pretty supportive and kind, but once Corpse started to post about you more and more, they quickly turned on you. It felt like the majority now was vehemently against the idea of your relationship. You knew that once it was public, you would get a lot of hate, but some of the comments were so hyper specific and vile- you couldn't help but be hurt. You always did your best to not read through them, or let him see when ones you did see affect you. You knew it was mostly young fans that were crushing on him and envious of you, but it all still seemed to leave you feeling drained, and anxious, an empty feeling of doom settling in with each critique. What if he saw merit in some of them? Sure most were shallow insults, but some seemed so spot on to you.

Who even are they? They're nobody, why is he with them??

He probably felt bad- he’s just too nice…

He can do soo much better…

You weren't usually an insecure person, but it was hard to stay positive when you did kind of agree. You worked a normal job, lived an average life, and you weren't really into the world of streaming, even as a viewer. It was- at the least- confusing to understand why he would be with you over someone with a similar lifestyle, or had more in common with him.

Tik Tok was your savior while he finished up with his friends. The algorithm only showed you the mind-numbing content you wanted to see, nothing about him or streaming at all. It was around 7:30 and you were halfway through a dinner recipe video when he finally entered his room again.

“Have a good nap?” He smirked tiredly as he plopped down on the bed beside you.

“So good…” You chuckled, saving the video before tossing your phone aside to snuggle up to him “How was the stream?”

“It was fun. Everyone said to tell you hi…” He wrapped his arm around you and absently traced his fingers along your arm.

“Tell them I say hi too.” You smiled as you buried your face into his hoodie. “Your friends are so nice…”

“Mhm… they really like you.” He chuckled. “Are you hungry yet? I'm starving…” You nodded and paused, still groggy from lying in bed.

“Can we get pasta? I’m craving it so bad…” Your voice perked up at the thought of the recipe video.

“Of course,” he laughed at your enthused voice, “you better start getting ready though…”

“Were going out?” You looked up at him in confusion, it was rare he ever wanted to go out, especially so spontaneously.

“Yeah why not? I mean… as long as you’re up for it?”

“Y-Yeah, just surprised that you are…” You beamed up at him before mustering the energy to get up and get ready. You pulled your hair aside and headed to the bathroom to wash your face, peeking slightly in the mirror's reflection and catching glimpses of him changing from the bedroom. The cheeky blush across your face turned quickly to a hot embarrassment as you watched the black button-down settle across his lean shoulders. Your mind started flashing through images of all the comments deeming you unworthy of him. You turned your face away from the mirror and avoided eye-contact with yourself- knowing it would only cement those thoughts and sour your mood even more.

You quickly brushed your teeth and headed back to the room, only to stare at the clothes you had brought in disappointment. Too loose you’ll look like a soggy cardboard box, too tight you’ll look like a shrink wrapped ham, too-

“You okay?” He chuckled from behind you as he fixed his shirt.

“Yeah… I’m fine.” You huffed out, grabbing at a random article of clothing and feeling yourself physically recoil at the thought of wearing it.

“You don’t look fine- if you don’t wanna go out we can stay in…” He shrugged and examined your clothes with you. “You still have some other things in my closet you know… you don’t have to keep living out of your carry on bag. You can keep things here.” He laughed softly.

“I- I know. I just… I don’t know- it's one of those days- you know?” You mustered up a small laugh. “Nothing feels right.” You shrugged it off.

“I get it… let's just stay in.” He sat beside your clothes on the bed, offering a soft smile as he took your hands and pulled you closer .

“No, I want to go out…” You furrowed your brow a bit, irritated that you were letting it all affect you so much. “I’ll hurry up.” You pulled another few items of clothing out and headed back to the bathroom, not wanting to even think about him watching you change right now.

You came back out after continuing to struggle through every aspect of getting ready while your mind attacked you. He sat up from scrolling his socials on the bed and quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket- a detail you wish your brain would find insignificant.

“Ready?” He smiled and stood as you nodded. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on as you grabbed your things and started to head out with him.

You were grateful for the comfortable silence as he drove to the restaurant, allowing you some time to try and change your mood. He’d put some softer lofi on the radio and let you silently watch as the streetlights flashed past your window. You weren't sure how he always seemed to know exactly what you needed, yet he always did.

When you arrived at the restaurant you were surprised to hear he’d made reservations for the two of you. You couldn’t help but smile, despite the discomfort welling up that he’d chosen something more fancy than you had expected- or dressed for.

“Wait, wait…” He hooked arm around your side, stopping you as you followed the host to the booth. He spun you into him in front of the elegant floor length mirror stood beside the entrance and pulled out his phone for a picture. You giggled at the quick cute gesture and posed with him, shutting your eyes as he snapped the pic to avoid any further mental spiraling.

Dinner went by uneventfully, you stayed a bit more quiet as he excitedly told you about new songs he was working on, or vented about the issues holding up his new merch drop. It wasn’t entirely due to your bad mood, you loved seeing him enthuse about his passions and how animated he’d suddenly become. His whiskey toned eyes would light up and his excitement was palpable in the air, making even you more energized. It wasn’t until halfway through or so when you came back from the bathroom that things shifted. You caught sight of him looking up at you returning before tucking his phone quickly away again.

“What’s that about?” You questioned lightheartedly with a laugh.

“Oh it’s nothing… Did you wanna get dessert?” He dismissed before swiftly changing the subject, but not before you caught a strange look on his face.

“Okay Mr. Secretive… um, I think I’m full though.” You shrugged awkwardly as you looked down at your plate.

“You sure weren't saying that about the wine though…” He chuckled as he sipped his own glass.

“I- okay?” You rebutted, hesitating as you gave him a confused glance. “I was just trying to cure my bad mood…” You internally cringed as your voice came out more defeated and offended than you intended, seemingly proving his point that you’d had too much. It was only two glasses… am I really that bad? All that stupid pasta I kept shoving in my fat mouth absorbed it all- I don’t even feel drunk…

“Wh- no… baby I- I was just making a joke… I didn’t mean anything by it-” His face softened with concern.

“No it’s fine… I probably have had too much- sorry.” You managed to squeak out, your face reddening with embarrassment. “Let’s just get the check…” I just want to go home now… Jesus Christ. You bit down on the inside of your lip as you heard the harsh, irritated sigh he let out.

---

The drive back from the restaurant was insufferable, just as it had been for him to the restaurant. He wasn’t sure if even his knives could’ve cut the tension radiating from the passenger side. It was clear something happened but he didn’t know what. Before he’d gone to his office to join the stream everything was fine, but once he came back the mood had completely changed.

“Are you- okay? Did I do something to upset you?” He asked as tentatively as he could upon getting back home.

“N-No, I’m fine. I’m sorry I had too much to drink.” Your voice was still soft but had a bit of an edge to it.

“I’m sorry I said that at the restaurant, I didn’t mean it like that at all. I meant it in like a- ‘it’s funny that you chose the wine over dessert…’ because I agreed- kind of way… I’m sorry baby.” He paused, taking your hands and tugging you gently closer as he kissed your forehead. “Y/n, If I did something to upset you, I wanna know, so I can fix it and make you feel better. You’ve seemed upset since I got off stream.”

“It… it’s fine, I’m just stupidly sensitive. I’m fine.” You ruined the entire night with him, great job. If he really wasn’t hiding anything on his phone earlier, he’ll surely start now. You huffed in frustration at yourself. “I should probably get home…”

“W- Why? You always leave Monday mornings…” He asked, feeling his energy plummet as you continued to shut down.

“I just have an early day tomorrow is all. I’m sorry…” You met his gaze, immediately wishing you hadn't as you offered a half smile to his heartbreakingly defeated expression. You pushed back the self-criticism as you went to collect your things, that could wait until you were alone in your car. He silently followed you back into his room like a kicked puppy and helped you gather your things, making your brain slew more insecurities about him wanting you gone. Once all your stuff was in your bag he walked you out to your car while you said your goodbyes.

“Please drive safe…”

He’ll just feel guilty if something happens…

“...text me when you get home…”

He feels like he has to say that… you’re so fucking sensitive. He walks on eggshells with you.

“I love you…”

No he doesn’t, why the fuck would he?

The drive back home continued that way as you dissociated the entire time, only letting the tears fall once you were back inside your own house. After having a small breakdown over the bullying your brain had done, you texted him you were home before collapsing down into your bed- exhausted by it all. You were ready for any solace you could get from mindlessly scrolling your phone, though it seemed the universe had something else in mind. You opened your instagram to check messages from your friends but were promptly bombarded by a photo he’d posted of the two of you from the restaurant. He’d put some goofy angel and devil emojis over your faces that you tried to let yourself laugh at but couldn't muster at the moment. He’d captioned it ‘LOMFL 😍🥵’ that got a small smile out of you, but not without a scoff. It wasn’t really until you tapped on the comments, you felt your gut tighten. The first few were various heart emojis from Rae, Tina, and Sean- but below that it took a turn. His fans attacked everything about you, your outfit, your weight, even your personality- as if they even knew you. But it didn’t stop there, some crazed fans had gone as far as finding you somehow- despite him never tagging you- and DMing your personal account even more vile things, even death threats. You wanted to vomit. You wanted to scream and show them how awful you could really be, but mostly you wanted to make yourself stop believing them. You didn’t want any of it to be true… but you were now convinced it was.

The next day you kept your phone completely off, even going as far as deleting all your socials before shutting it off. In the morning meeting with your boss you informed her your phone wasn’t working and email was how you should be contacted from now on, so you wouldn't even need it on for later. You went about your daily tasks at work completely numb, doing everything you could to keep yourself too busy to think. Of course, that only worked at work, at home it was entirely different. The next few days turned to weeks as you cleaned like you never had before, you rearranged furniture like you were suddenly trying to fit four Alaskan king sized beds in your home, you went to the store and meal prepped- full well knowing you’d have no appetite, you binged several of your favorite shows entirely.

By the third week, you’d fully run out of tasks to keep the thoughts and anxiety at bay. You scrolled through Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon- finding nothing. Out of either habit or some subconscious cue about the anxiety of not texting the only person you wanted to at the moment, you opened up Youtube. You rolled your eyes and groaned softly but scrolled through the videos anyway, cringing as the recommendations of Sussy Sundays and various other videos with your boyfriend popped up. You felt incredibly guilty about not talking to him. It wasn’t like the two of you talked non-stop, or that he’d be mad, you were just sure with the way you’d left things he was likely worrying about you by now. As you continued to scroll you saw a live video pop up in your suggestions, of him. He’s live? Why is he live? He doesn’t stream anymore… You were already anxious, but after reading the title ‘we need to talk…’ you started to feel sick. You hesitantly clicked the video and his voice rang out from your TV.

“...I really don’t give a fuck how you guys feel or what you fuckin think…” He paused, presumably reading the chat. “I know it’s not all of you… but those of you that are commenting this shit… I don’t wanna fuckin see it- I don’t everr wanna see this shit again… if you like my content but come into my chat, or friends chats, or on twitter.com or instagram and say that shit… fucking unsubscribe right now, fuck you. Get off the fucking internet, it's disgusting.” You took in a deep breath as anxiety welled up more, why was he doing this? “I’ll straight up never put out another thing ever again if this keeps happening. I know that people are always gonna be assholes, but if you’re a fan of me or whatever- and saying this fucking shit about my partner? Go fuck yourself. I don’t want your fucking support…”

You stared at his animated figure standing in the rain blankly and opened up your laptop, starting a video call to him. You waited for a while as he went silent on stream before it was denied. Is he mad at me? It’s all my fault- fuck.

“Anyways- I just thought I’d get on here and reprimand you fucks… and to all my actual fans, being kind and supportive, thank you, and keep reporting these people- love you guys… oodles and oodles… keep being you- I’m sorry you guys had to hear this… love you.”

You tried again as the stream ended. Again denied. Fuck he’s pissed… Because of me he had to get on after not streaming anymore and do that- fuck… You took a deep breath and tried to not overthink. Maybe he’s just sick of your bullshit. If he was worried or he’d been trying to contact you at all, he probably would’ve answered. You fidgeted nervously at the thought. I’ll just start a new show- keep my mind off this… You shut your laptop and dejectedly threw it aside on the couch before getting up and grabbing some blankets for another night of Netflix.

You were two episodes in when you decided to grab a snack but just as you paused the show and stood, there was a knock on the door. You looked over, and cautiously moved toward it. Peeking out the peephole you saw what looked like an outraged figure of your boyfriend standing outside. You felt icy panic run through you as you grabbed the handle and twisted, preparing yourself for the worst.

“You’re okay…” He sighed in relief as his whole body relaxed.

“I- Y- yeah… I- I’m fine.. What are you-” You tried to play catch up, still in shock to see him at your door, let alone not yelling at you.

“You haven’t answered your phone- for anyone- in like a month…” He seemed to pant out. “I tried to give you space and not worry too much when you weren't answering, but then you deleted your socials, and then didn’t answer Tina, or Rae… or me… I was… scared.” He paused and caught his breath. “When you video called me I panicked, I thought you were in trouble or- I- I don’t even know… I just rushed over.” He stepped in and yanked you into one of his enveloping bear hugs. You stood motionless, mostly from how tight his arms were around you, but partially from even more surprise. Here he was, yet again, proving that he knew you better than anyone- and certainly better than you knew him. The guilt of not talking to him only grew now. How could you have ever thought any awful things about the panic stricken, devoted, heart-of-fucking-gold man that was seemingly holding onto you for dear life?

“I- I’m sorry…” You squeaked out, faltering under his obvious concern. He sighed again and released his hold but kept his hands gently on your arms.

“Please don’t do that again… If you need space that's okay, but please just tell me… I- I didn’t know what to think- or do…” He knelt down to your level slightly, his face full of worry as he seemed to practically beg.

“I’m sorry…” You swallowed hard, feeling your face heat as your voice wavered.

“I-It’s okay… I- I’m not mad… I just wanted to know you’re safe- cause I worked myself into a panic not knowing- I’m sorry I just showed up out of the blue…” He took a deep breath. “If you still need space that's okay I just- I was really worried. I know I’m probably overreacting…”

“No… I just… I don’t know-” You looked down at your feet, the guilt consuming you now as he continued to prove every horrible thought you had about him wrong.

“Do you want to talk?” He questioned hesitantly as his mind began reeling in the same way yours had. You just nodded, looking up as he closed the door and looked back to you, eyes still full of worry.

You moved back to the couch and curled up into the blanket, comforting yourself and trying to hold back tears of guilt over how you’d acted toward him. He slowly moved to sit by you.

“What’s going on? A-are you upset with me?” He stuttered nervously, also anticipating the worst. You shook your head and shut your eyes as they welled up. It all felt so stupid now- but the constant harassment, death threats, and insults had done a number- and having him here, almost completely in the dark about it all but still so kind and loving was just too much all at once.

“Oh- baby… shh come here.” He soothed melodically as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly again. “Please talk to me.” His voice was soft and quiet as he pressed kisses onto the top of your head.

“I don’t wanna cry- it’s stupid…” You managed to mumble.

“It’s not stupid- something is really bothering you… is it the comments and shit?” You nodded.

“It’s all of it- I- I don’t know why you’re even with me…” Your voice cracked and broke.

“Y/n, I’m with you because I’m in love with you- I wouldn’t ever let the opinions of fucking dumbass ten-year-olds with no internet supervision change or dictate that…” You cringed as you heard the offended tone in his voice.

“I know… I just… I let my brain believe it all… and I feel shitty… and that just makes me wonder even more why- because I do shit like this- even though you’re nothing but amazing and loving to me…” You choked out between sobs.

“You’re not shitty…” His tone softened even more as he pulled your face up. “I have no idea what it’s like to go through that, and how you can even deal with it. Most people don’t. I knew it was hard to see, and if I had any idea that you’d been this upset about it for this long I would’ve stopped it right then and there…” He kissed your forehead and wiped off your tears. “I’m so sorry baby… I should’ve known.” You shook your head.

“I should’ve just told you… but I felt so stupid- letting it get to me- I wanted to just come home and clear my head and get over it… but then it got worse and I just I don’t know, I couldn't deal.” He pushed your hair from your face and let you continue after the sobs began to slow. “Now I just feel guilty and shitty for avoiding you- avoiding all of it, not telling you… especially when you are… like this- so nice, and understanding.” You scoffed harshly at yourself, making him chuckle.

“Don’t. It’s a pretty understandable way to react… I’m sorry honey…” He leaned in and kissed you softly. “Would it help if I pretend to be mad at you?” He joked lightly as you parted. You let out a weak but honest giggle and gave an exaggeratory nod. He laughed and tsked loudly. “I can’t believe it… how could someone so goddamn attractive, funny, kind, and lovable think that I’d be dumb enough to see any warrant to the words of fuckin dipshit kids? To think that I’m not already blindly and completely head over heels? I’m disappointed…” He mocked in a goofy tone.

“Shut up…” You laughed, wiping your face and pushing him playfully.

“I love you dummy.” He chuckled and kissed you again.

“I love you too, Corpsie.”

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friendlybowlofsoup · 8 months

Text

Another Update

Hello Friends,

I have a rather long (but optimistic!) update to share with you all today. As many of you are probably tired of reading these kind of posts, I have a TL;DR here, but I did want to share what has been on my mind in that past half-year that I haven't been here.

It has been rough, and busy as always, but I think I'm finally facing myself and my project for the first time in a very long time.

TL;DR (it's actually long, I have a lot to say (*_ _)人)

I soul-searched and decided to stop compromising on my own feelings with regards to this project. I gave in to everything I wanted to do.

Plot changes, which means some character changes, which means some of the demo is outdated.

GotRM will be switching over to Twine.

----

OH MAN DID I SUFFER THE LAST FEW MONTHS

After my previous update, I hunkered down and really analyzed how I wanted to proceed with GotRM as a project. Because even prior to that post, I had already been going through long periods of hiatuses (which you are all aware of), and while I didn't lie about school taking up my time, I was also harboring a growing dissatisfaction with my own writing that really killed my progress for a long time.

So after everything had settled, I sat down and forced myself to peel apart my work. I know I said I would answer asks, but I uninstalled all of my social media and put aside this blog to focus. I made a note of all the things I liked and didn't like, and I made a list of things I wanted to change or improve on. The biggest point was that I also looked at my efficiency during actual writing sessions: how much of my time was spent writing vs. fighting with code? How could I change that?

And after a lot of deliberation, I figured there were a few things I had to change from the ground up, summed up in four points:

My working style was super incompatible with grad school. I can't spend 20-30 minutes scrolling up and down CSIDE checking code or looking for narratives while also jumping between chapters to make sure events line up. As this story grows, the more difficult it becomes to keep track of all the branches, so I needed an alternative working method, which I am adhering to now, and it prioritizes efficiency.

I hated the way I was tracking and coding stats in-game. I have griped so much about coding stats, and I have adhered to such a rigid style that I really felt trapped whenever I was confronted with balancing them out. So I'm throwing that to the wind and redoing how I utilize and convey them. Player-side, this decision doesn't change much since I never fully utilized stats in the demo anyway, and the stats page with indicators will still exist, but I'm getting rid of stat bars and how I treat stat checks.

The story I want to write now is different from the one I started out with. I've known for a while that GotRM was becoming far more than the tiny, wishful novella that I wrote as a teenager. I held onto that old story for a long time, but there's just so much I want to change that I realized I'd been clinging to a story I no longer enjoyed writing. So I spent the majority of the last few months rewriting GotRM from scratch. I redid some worldbuilding, I changed a lot of plot points, and I fixed a lot of characters' backstories accordingly. This meant scrapping stuff from even the demo, but that turned out to not be the biggest issue because:

I wanted to branch away from ChoiceScript. Honestly, I never really cared about getting officially published, but the camaraderie in the forums and on Tumblr were why I committed to CS and CoG. However, ultimately, I really want the functionality that other tools can offer GotRM, and so after a long internal debate, I will be switching over to Twine. Fortunately, since I was rewriting everything anyways, this has been relatively painless, and passage mapping has made everything so much neater. I am trying my best to make it up to chapter 2 before I release the new demo, so please look forwards to that!

And so yes, I am still here, chugging along.

I love this game and this story: it's been my creative escape for as long as I could remember, and you can imagine how frustrated I was when I realized I was starting to dread working on it.

I am forever learning more about myself and my writing style, and this is simply more of that journey. Thank you everyone for sticking around, for joining the discord, and for checking up on me--that I have all of you has truly been a dream.

Hopefully more updates to come soon! I understand that there may be questions about these new changes, so please ask away! I will (try) to release some asks that I've been working on in the drafts too, but I will wait until at least tomorrow to release them so that this post doesn't get drowned out immediately.

And as always, with a lot of love,

FriendlyBowlofSoup (Mei)

#writing update

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itsohh · 1 year

Text

Mi Calvario

A/N: Female reader, didn't want to write a full series so here's just a bunch of snippets of events that took place. Anything in box brackets is spoken in Spanish. (Because like who wants to try scroll for a key during a fic, not me and my Spanish is horrible. (I cheated in Spanish class in highschool))

Summary: With Las Almas in ruin, Rudy makes sures to check up on the only other Vaqueros who isn't in prison. Wife of Alejandro, you insist on joining Rudy in the fight. Despite the constantly underlying illness that keeps you out of the field, your determined to fight for your home.

Word count: 1981

Warnings: None

AO3 Masterlist

Ever one with the shadows, Ghost paused with his reunion with Rudy. "Who's your friend?" His eyes glanced to the darkest corner of the room, Soaps soon followed his lead. Soap really had to squint and then the smallest movement came.

"[Stand down.]" Rudy didn't need to turn his head for you to know he was speaking to you.

"[Look at you Rudy, still making friends even at this age huh?]" Out from the shadows you stepped, rifle now slung over your shoulder.

"[More of Alejandro's friends but eh.]"

"[Always was the one to work well with others.]" You fiddled with the strap of your glove around your rist, tightening it slightly.

In full view of the moon light the two SAS operatives were able to see your full form.

"Forgive me, this Ghost and Soap."

"Pleasure." Soap smiled and Ghost nodded to you.

"This is Major-"

"Ah not any more. That's you now." You tutted. Rudy paused and glanced towards the men.

"She's ex Vaqueros."

"Ex?" Soap raised a brow.

"Retired if you believe it. Well, at least I was until the entire fucking city went up in smoke."

"Bit young to be retired?" Soaps question had you light slightly under your breath.

"Ah, a charmer. My retirement wasn't one of my own will. Medical reasons. Active duty kept it making it worse." A sigh left your mouth. "I would have kept working until I dropped but ah Alejandro wouldn't have it. Caring bastard. Don't worry, it won't affect my performance." You gave him a wink.

"Alejandro's going to kill me for getting you involved."

"Think the whole citys involved at this point. Think the question is, what is this? What shit have we stepped into?"

Ghost glanced at Soap, a small nod before he opened his mouth.

"So, your close with Alejandro?" Soap asked as the four of you approached the prison.

"Very."

"What made you join the Vaqueros?"

"Alejandro of course. There's not many people out there who are as passionate about their home like he is. I was I suppose when it comes down to it, a drifter. Just went and did what my military told me to. It wasn't until I met Alejandro that I realized why we fight. His passion is contagious." There was a gleen to your eyes as you spoke.

"You sound like you idolized him."

"I do, in a way. If there's anyone worth dying for it would be him."

"[Yeah but he's also your husba-]" Rudy started to speak before you interupted him with a harsh but non serious tone.

"[Shut up.]" A deep breath left your lips. "[I'll have you know, I've believe that long since anything happened between us. Besides you feel the same way, I don't see how that would relate at all.]"

"[I wasn't trying to make an attack I was just bringing it up.]" The pair of you started to bicker, still rather teasing. Your words so fast, Soap wasn't unable to keep up. Ghost could.

"I'll take point." You nodded to Ghost as he braced against Alejandro's cell door. At your signal, he opened the door and you took a step in. To an empty room? Your thought and slight confusion was cut off when your back slammed against the wall of the cell. Alejandro's arm pressed against your throat and anger consumed his face. Despite the pain, you couldn't help but stare at him in glee. You loved to see him like this and it felt far too long since you had seen him at all. The sweet sound of Alejandro's demanding voice filled your ears and Rudy quickly jumped to your defense.

Alejandro's eyes blinked and he glanced from Rudy to you. "[If you wanted to get rough darling I won't complain but perhaps let's keep that to our bedroom hmm?]" You groaned slightly and Alejandro immediately stepped forward even closer. There was no gap between the two of you. Both hands on the side of your face, his lips roughly pressed against yours. A thousand words all put in one kiss.

"Oh!" Soaps' surprised voice broke the pair of you from your little world.

Just as quickly as it started, he stopped.

The group of you had a job to do.

"[What are you doing here, you should be safe at home?]" His voice was one of concern but still adoration. It seems it was a mutual agreement that the pair of you hadn't seen each other recently enough.

"[And leave you to rot in this old prison? Never.]" He flashed you a smile as he was given a weapon.

"[That's my girl. My Calvary eh?]"

"[Make no mistake darling, I'm still very much retired. I'm not Calvary anymore."]

"[Nonsense, your always my Calvary, once Vaqueros always Vaqueros.]"

Gloves off, Alejandro subtly rubbed your hand while Price made his speech. When you went to reach for the mask, Alejandro grip tightened.

"[This isn't your fight.]" His voice hush, low enough for only you to hear.

"[Did all those years mean nothing? Los Vaqueros is my family, Alejandro. That place is my home too. I'm not letting some fucking entitled little American take it. He needs to pay for burning our city.]" Alejandro glanced away for a moment but let go of your hand.

"[I missed seeing that fire of yours.]" He grinned, eventually turning back to face you, he wouldn't fight you on this. Alejandro gave you a nod as you took the mask into your personal. There was still a lot of prep to do.

Adjusting the scope on your gun, you didn't look up as Soap approached you. Ghost hovered near by the man, an eye on the pair of you. "You alright?" He placed your gloves on the crate near to you. They had been on the planning table.

"No complaints here Sergeant."

"Arthritis?" He glanced down towards your hands. "You keep stretching your hands."

"Carpal tunnel." You looked up and placed the gun down before you hopped up on the grate. "The vibrations from gunfire make it flare up."

"Alejandro seemed worried. He keeps staring at your hands."

"Mmm." You eyes flashed over to Alejandro you true to Soaps words, was staring at you. When you eyes caught his, he gave you a smile and looked back towards Rudy who was well used to his behavior. "He's protective like that. When this is over, ugh I'm not going to be able to do anything around the house." Despite the annoyance in your voice, there was a warm smile on your face.

"How long have the pair of you been together? I don't think I've seen anyone look at another person like Alejandro looks at you."

"Ah, officially about four years give or take. [What about Ghost?]" Your eyes flashed over to the man who stood, watching and no doubtly listening to your conversation. Soap gave you a slightly confused look while Ghost silently glared into your soul. He certainly heard you. A laugh bubbled from your chest and you lightly hit the side of his arm. "Ah perhaps you will understand when your older Sergeant."

"Heard that one before. Why'd they call you Calverio?"

"Calvary. Ah you show up one time on horseback and you don't hear the end of it."

"What happened?"

"Ask Alejandro that one when you're not busy. It's his favourite story to exaggerate. His entire face lights up. Only other story that makes his face light up I think is our wedding day."

"A good day I presume."

"One of the best, a little bit daunting on my side though."

"How so?"

"Ah, lots of people, lots of traditions. It's was a massive, massive festival. Then there was always that unlying threat. What if someone took this opportunity to kill us."

"Someone would do that?"

"People will do anything when they're desperate. When their hate rules their honor."

"Ain't that the truth."

"But." Your face lit up with a smile. "Everything went according to plan. I remember him complaining about his checks hurting a few days later from smiling too much." Your smile turned into a laugh. "I actually have a photo in my wallet if you would like to see."

"Of course, bit surprised you have it on you."

"I came in my normal clothing. I use these shoes to do shopping." You hummed and brought out your wallet. Soap watched as you pulled back a small compartment and pulled out a picture. It had creases on the folds and could see how you had taped it up to prevent it from deterioration. He leaned forward and moved next to you to look at the picture.

There in the middle of a massive group of people, the pair of you stood. Both dressed in white surrounded by friends and family. He could see the walls of brightly coloured flowers in the background only outshone by the smiles on your face. At first, Soap could only recognise the pair of you and Rudy who stood next to Alejandro.

"Wow, you look beautiful."

"I'm just glad you can't notice that I was still crying."

"You were crying?"

"Yeah, Alejandro was crying too. That happened at the reception though. I think that's when it was sinking in." Soap squinted at the picture for a moment.

"Is that Laswell?" He pointed to the back of the picture. It was almost impossible to see her with the woman next to her.

"It is. Yeah, Kate and her wife showed for the ceremony. Didn't stay too long at reception. They didn't really know too many other people. Regardless, it was good to see them. Mmm, if we ever end up renewing our vows you should come. It would be fun to have you all there."

"And see Alejandro, a blubbering mess? Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Of course that's if we get around to it. Maybe one day in the future. Alejandro's a very busy man and this whole thing is going to make him a lot busier. Perhaps he would let me come back to work." You hummed, your eyes trailing off the picture to find Alejandro but failing your mission.

"Not going to happen." A hand on your shoulder practically made you jump. So used to Alejandro's movements, you had almost become immune to it. His steps, his presence didn't set off a single red flag in your head so often he would get the element of surprise on you. "Showing Soap pictures of our wedding are you?" You head turned to see that light expression on his face.

"Just the one. I could do some desk work-"

"[No. I recall the doctor saying that desk work would perhaps make your hands even worse.]"

"Ah there's no arguing with you about this is there. Can't blame a girl for trying no?"

"[Perfect time to renovate.]" The pair of you stared at the base.

"[Will have to.]" He agreed. "[How's the house?]"

"[Unaffected. The Shadows didn't come that far out.]" He turned to face you, suspicion on his face. "[Rudy originally only came to check up on me.]"

"[Let me guess, you insisted on join him?]"

"[He could get all the help he could and you know he was never really good at saying no to me.]"

"[That's only because you don't listen when people tell you no.]"

"[Your one to talk Colonel.]" You drape your wrists around his neck, his eyes on yours. "[I felt like I've just woken up from a nightmare in a way. All this destruction doesn't seem real.]"

"[Mmm woken from a nightmare into a dream perhaps.]" His eyes flickered from yours down to your lips for a moment, you knew exactly what he wanted. A request you were happy to make. With a roll of your eyes you granted his silent request, his upon his as the sun set behind you.

#mw2 x reader #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas #modern warfare 2 #cod x reader #call of duty #reader has long term carpal tunnel syndrome #(it flares up)

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months

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Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series Chapter 3

Summary: Jungkook asks about our plans tomorrow night Pairing: Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 4.5k~ Warnings: Explicit language (Like one word) a/n: Sorry for not posting in a couple of days. I was stressing/studying but I passed my final so I'll get back to posting a bit more Start from the beginning

Another beautiful day off comes and goes as I head into my uncles store. "Hey Grey" I say walking past her. "Took you long enough" she says while flipping through a magazine not even sparing me a glance. "I'm only four minutes late" I say checking my phone and rolling my eyes.

"Four minutes is still four minutes" she says raising an eyebrow at me. "Whatever, is my uncle around?" I say hoping he won't be in today. "He took the morning off, so knowing him he'll probably come in and check up on us in a couple of hours" she relays and I let out a sigh of relief.

Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate my uncle. He's the main reason I've been able to stay in this city for so long. He let me stay in the little apartment above the store until he had time to help me find my own place and let me keep this job even though he should've fired me a long time ago.

It's just that, sometimes it's nice to take care of the store when it's just Grey and I. "Ya! Go put your stuff in your locker and get to work. We've still gotta finish putting away the rest of the shipment" she nags. "I thought Jason was supposed to take care of that" I complain while walking toward the back to put my stuff away.

"Apparently your uncle told him to leave it for you to do as another punishment" she says relaying the information while scrolling through her phone, abandoning the magazine and continuing to remain uninterested in my struggles. "At least I'll have something to do" I mutter to myself while putting on the hideous store vest and heading out.

Grey, she's the kind of person that you never really know if she loves you or hates you since there's not really an in-between option.

She can be pretty rough around the edges but at the end of the day I know Grey cares about me. She puts in the time and effort to spend time together even if she's standoffish the entire time plus she's there for me in ways Jungkook can't be.

They know how to take better care of me than I know how to take care of myself. I'm kind of a mess if I'm being honest.I'm not sure why they stick around but I will forever be in their debt. They're just different, and I'm so glad they decided to love me, mess and all.

I'm broken out of my train of thought by the sound of the bell signaling another customer arriving. "Welcome in" I say out of routine not realizing who came in just yet. I flinch at the feeling of someone coming up behind me and wrapping their arms around my waist.

"Miss me?" he whispers in an amused tone. "Kook!" I say feeling my mood get so much better simply by his presence. Although now I have an added feeling of butterflies that I can't seem to control, a new edition to my reactions when it comes to him.

"Hey" he says giving a firm hug. "You should really stop daydreaming and become a bit more aware of your surroundings you know. What if someone else would've done the same" he scolds. "Then I would've known how to take care of myself" I say turning around to face him. "That's right I forgot who I'm dealing with" he says shaking his head, amused at my confidence.

"So what are you doing here?" I question curious about the surprise visit. "I just wanted to see you" he says smiling down at me. "Also I wanted to see if I could squeeze some more information out of you about our date" he says ending with a wink.

"Shut up" I say softly placing a slap on his chest, being met with a wall of muscle. "Stop teasing you know it's not a date" I say laughing off his efforts to make me shy. "Okay I'll stop" he says laughing.

"I'm sorry to disappoint but I'm not telling you anything. Just meet me here with the truck and wearing comfortable clothes tomorrow night. My shift ends at 10" I say giving him a secretive smile at the end. "Okay you're the boss" he says putting his hands up in surrender.

"How was class today?" I ask curious as to what he's been working on. "Oh you know the usual, just learning my shapes and trying to color in the lines" he says jokingly. "Very funny. What are you really working on?" I say more curious since he's not sharing. "Don't worry about it. I'll show you eventually" he says patting my head.

"Stop doing that, I'm older than you remember! You should be showing me a bit more respect" I frown while fixing my hair. "You might be older than me but I'm still taller" he says teasingly. "Whatever" I say crossing my arms in irritation.

"Aww Noona you're so adorable when you're mad" he says gushing over me. "Ew don't call me that" I say squirming at his attempt of formality. "Why not? Didn't you just say you were older than me?" he says continuing to tease me, clearly seeing the effect it has on me.

"Okay I'm done with this conversation" I say walking past him. He turns around and grabs my wrist. "I'm sorry I'll stop" he says clearly trying to hold in his laughter. I roll my eyes at his childishness. "Goodbye Jungkook" I say sliding my wrist out of his hold.

"Hey what the heck? I wasn't finished talking" He says starting to sport a slight pout, knowing that it's one of my many weaknesses when it comes to him. I quickly turn around hoping to avoid it and continue on towards the front of the store.

"You can talk to me tomorrow night. Plus, I've gotta get back to work before my uncle stops by and catches me slacking off" I say, grabbing a box full of ramen and heading towards the shelf that holds the wide variety that we carry. "I guess that's fine since I'll have you all to myself soon" he says smiling at the thought.

"Now get going" I say laughing at his slight excitement I see shining through his pout. "Alright, bye Noona" he says giving me a quick peck on the cheek and runs out the door before I can hit him for teasing me again. "Hey I told you not to call me that!" I say yelling after him. "Bye Grey" is all I hear before the bell rings, signaling his departure.

"Did Jungkook just call you Noona?" she says clearly disgusted. "Yeah he did" I say rubbing my temple. "Does he know you have a Noona kink?" she says smirking at me. "Shhhhh" I say glancing around the shop before continuing "Not so loud! And no he doesn't. You're the only person I've told and I would like to keep it that way" I say whispering back in response.

"But I bet you'll love it when Jimin calls you Noona" she says with yet another smirk. "Who says I'm ever gonna see him again?" I say, oblivious as to who's about to walk through the door. "I don't know, why don't you ask him?" she says waiting for my very much anticipated panicked expression.

I keep my back to the door as I hear the bell ring. "Welcome in" Grey says greeting him immediately on his arrival. "Thank you" he says with a soft smile. "Luna?" he asks coming closer. "Hi Jimin" I say awkwardly, turning around and laughing nervously at his greeting.

"I thought that was you! How have you been?" he says smiling down at me. Gosh has he always been this tall? "Um, pretty good thanks. Just working a lot" I say a bit slower than usual trying to calm down my nerves. "How have you been" I ask reciprocating his interest. "I've been good as well, just focusing on school. Hey since you're not in school now that probably means you're a bit older than me huh?" he says making me blush slightly.

"How old are you if you don't mind me asking" he says slightly tilting his head waiting for my response. "Oh I'm 25" I say shyly. "I was right then! I'm only 21 so that means you're my Noona!" he says with boyish charm. I can see his eyes light up in excitement at the thought.

"Yeah I guess so. But you don't have to worry about being formal with me, it's not like I'm that much older than you" I say slightly dropping my gaze to the floor.

"But I want to, especially since we've only just met. I couldn't possibly throw away the formalities already. Even though we are close in age doesn't mean I shouldn't respect you. Plus Luna Noona sounds kinda cute" he says tilting his head down at the end trying to catch my gaze.

I finally make eye contact with him and notice he's a lot closer to me than I thought he was. "Is it okay if I call you Noona?" he asks with a smile that's warm enough to cloud my vision. "Y-yeah sure if you want to" I say with a dazed air to my overall demeanor. I've gotta keep myself under control.

Alarm bells are being set off in my head telling me he's trouble but then again he's just a kid. How much trouble could he possibly be? He's a smooth talker for sure but I bet when it comes down to it he might shy away from anything that might be too much to handle. Wait! What? Luna stop being such a freak! He's cute but you've gotta keep it together. He's a customer as well and flirting with customers isn't the best idea.

"Noona?" he says trying to catch my attention. "Yes!" I say, startled from being caught out of my daze yet again. "Do you think maybe sometime I could come see you again?" he says tentatively.

"I mean you can come whenever you want, I can't really stop you" I say laughing off his proposal. "No I mean, well I wanted to see if maybe on your break we could go get some coffee or something? There's a great cafe down the street that I think you might like!" he says full of excitement but still showing a little vulnerability waiting for my answer.

"Oh, I mean I guess so. My work schedule is kinda all over the place though so I never really know when my breaks are" I admit. "That's okay! I could just give you my number and you can text me when you're free! I live only a few train stops away so it'll only take me about 10 minutes to get over here" he says with an honest smile waiting in anticipation for my answer.

Should I give him my number? I barely know the guy, but then again he's probably just a kid that has a little crush on me. He seems like he might be fun to hang out with though and most days if Grey and Jungkook are busy I've got nothing better to do.

"Sure, that works" I say with a shy smile. Why am I so shy around this kid? Yeah he's cute, so what? Jungkook is cute too but you don't see me acting like this around him, or at least up until a couple of nights ago I wasn't acting like this around him. But I don't really have feelings for Jungkook right? But wait, who said anything about having feelings for Jimin. Oh gosh this is bad!

"Can I see your phone real quick so I can put it in your phone?" he asks, extending his hand towards me. I wordlessly hand it to him and see him quickly add himself on KakaoTalk. He sends himself a quick message off my phone so he has mine as well.

"Thanks Noona! I've gotta get going but I'll message you later!" he says handing me my phone. "Wait didn't you need to buy something?" I question as he heads towards the door. "No not really, I just wanted to see you again" he admits with a smirk. "Bye Noona!" is all he says and leaves without another word. "Bye Jimin" I say quietly to myself.

"Okay that was fucking adorable" Grey says laughing at everything that just unfolded right in front of her. "When did you get there?" I question flinching at her closeness and going to place my phone on the counter. "I never left" she says shaking her head. "How bad was that?" I say, hiding my face in my hands. "On a scale of 1-10, I would say that was a solid 8" she says while tapping her chin.

"Wait really? That's not that bad!" I say regaining some confidence. "In all actuality it was probably more like a 6.5 at best, and that's being generous" she says with zero hesitation in taking me down a few pegs again. "Ugh don't do that! You know I'm not good at stuff like this" I say playing with my hair nervously.

"It's okay Luna I think he actually liked seeing you all shy and blushy" she teases. "Was I really blushing that much?" I say bringing my hands up to my cheeks. "Yeah, a lot. To be honest I got secondhand embarrassment just watching you" she answers prodding further. "Stop!" I whine dragging out the word.

"Okay okay I'll stop" she says throwing her hands up in surrender. "So..." she continues. "So what?" I say bringing my glance back to her. "When are you gonna message him?" she says rolling her eyes at my oblivious nature.

"Why should I be the one to message him? He's the one who asked for my number" I respond in protest. I then hear my phone go off signaling that I have a new message. Grey and I make eye contact for a second before we both scramble to reach the phone first.

"Grey stop give it here!" I say trying to grab it back from her before she sees it. "Oh come on you know you're gonna show it to me anyways. I just wanna take a quick peak" She argues, holding the phone up in the air out of my reach.

"Fine" I say crossing my arms over my chest. "You're not gonna be able to unlock it anywa-" I stop in horror watching her turn the phone my way, using my face to unlock it. "Ha!" she says satisfied with her cleverness. "Whatever" I say pouting again.

"You're gonna wanna see this" she says with a smile, seconds after she unlocks the phone. "What? What did he say?" I say scrambling to sit next to her behind the counter. We both look down at my phone and read the messages he sent.

Hey Noona, it was really good seeing you again! Hopefully we can get that coffee together soon!

Oh and I wanted to say this earlier but you look really cute today :)

Message me when you're free!

Have a good shift and stay safe!

"Aww he thinks you're cute" Grey says finally giving me my phone back. "I'm gonna puke" she admits, amused but disgusted all the same. "Shut up" I say rolling my eyes at her. "He just has a little crush on me, no need to tease me over something like that" I say explaining away her dramatics.

"Well crush or not looks like you might have a little crush on him as well from what I just saw" she says. "Yeah maybe you're right" I say trailing off. "I'm sorry what was that? Is Luna being honest with her feelings already?" she says in disbelief. "No! Yes? I don't know" I say trailing off.

"How is my favorite employee doing?" my uncle says bursting into the store. "Hi uncle, I'm alright, kinda confused but okay" I say still lost in a bit of a daze. "Okay well I wasn't talking to you but I'm glad you're okay" he says teasingly. "Hey! You're gonna pass up your own flesh and blood?" I say offended.

"Well you still claim the title of my favorite niece" he says rubbing my head, messing up my hair. "I'm your only niece" I say not hiding my annoyance. "Exactly. Now if you showed up to work on time everyday and stopped daydreaming then maybe you'll start to climb up the totem poll" he says turning to speak to Grey. "How's it going? Anything happen today?" he questions making sure everything is running smoothly.

"No" she answers, sending a quick glance my way. "Nothing to report really" she continues tapping her chin, turning her eyes up towards the ceiling in thought. "Well there was this one thing" she says and I see a devious smile start to crack her façade, clearly trying to torture me. I wave my hands in protest, desperately trying to beg her to not say anything about the exchange between Jimin and I.

"Oh yeah one of your friends came by earlier asking for you" she says turning her attention back to him while seamlessly switching back to a normal smile. "Do you know who it was?" he questions, hoping to gain more information about the visitor. "I didn't catch his name. He was in and out pretty quickly. I think he was just going to say hi, he said he'd pass by and try again later" she finishes wrapping up the conversation expertly.

"Well thanks for telling me. He probably stopped by on his way to go do something else" he says coming to a conclusion on his own about the unusual visit. "Yeah I think he said something along those lines" she responds and he heads towards the back to go to his office, still trying to figure out which one of his friends would stop by unannounced.

"You're evil" I say once he's out of ear shot. "What? I didn't lie! Someone did stop by asking for him" she says going back to work. "But you made it seem like you were going to tell him" I grumble.

"Well I thought about it, but I know how protective he can be when it comes to guys. He can barely stand Jungkook so I could only imagine what he would act like if he heard about a new guy hanging around here pining after you. But honestly who would I be if I didn't tease you a bit?" she says shrugging her shoulders.

"Well stop it! It's not funny" I say grabbing a broom from behind the counter. "But seeing your face full of panic is just priceless!" she laughs at my discomfort. "No I take it back. You're not evil, you're the spawn of Satan!" I say letting out a huff of irritation. "That is so sweet! You really know how to compliment a girl" she says holding her hands over her heart.

"Fuck off" I say turning around to go clean up and get as far away from her as I can. "Love you too" she says just loud enough for me to hear while walking off. I can't help but crack a smile now that we are past both of those painfully embarrassing situations. I swear I can never stay mad at her.

I flinch feeling my phone vibrate notifying me that I have a message and my eyes widen at the sight of Jimin sending me a mirror selfie while making half a heart with his free hand. I respond by sending him a finger heart emoji and lock my screen again but it lights up immediately before I can even place it back in my pocket.

Noona, can I ask you a question?

I get nervous at the thought, trying to figure out exactly what's on his mind.

Sure, go ahead, I respond nervously, awaiting his reply.

Are you seeing anyone?

What exactly do you mean by that? I question wanting him to be more straight forward with his queries.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is if you have a boyfriend

Why exactly would you like to know that?

Well because I want to make sure that I don't have a crush on someone who is already taken. I'm taken aback by his sudden boldness and am left almost speechless.

I think it's way too early for any of that, but for the record no, I do not have a boyfriend. I respond simply, hoping to stop things before they get started. He's too young for me and I don't want him to get hurt from developing feelings too quickly.

Well it's too late because I'm already falling for you. he says simply and I'm left there almost frozen in place trying to figure out what my next response should be. But before I'm able to even begin typing I see a new message pop up.

Can I come see you tomorrow? he sends and I stand there in place still trying to figure out what would be the best plan of action.

If that's what you want then sure, I can't really stop you. I respond shaking my head at how easily I break but still keeping my tone neutral.

Great! Can I pass by and see you on your last break? he pleads and I can't help but feel his excitement shining through every message.

Sure, I think my break starts around 8. I respond hoping to end the conversation soon so I don't get any more distracted than I already am.

I'll be there at 7:45 then!

No that's okay you don't have to come early. I refute slightly panicking at the thought that my uncle might catch wind of this.

But I want to :( I want to spend as much time with you as I can! I can practically feel his pout through the screen.

Message me around 7 and I'll let you know if it'll be okay for you come early okay? I say, hoping that he'll simply agree.

Okay noona :) see you tomorrow!

See you tomorrow is all I say, ending the conversation for the night.

"Well I definitely wasn't expecting that" I say to myself. "Wasn't expecting what?" I hear a voice say right in my ear. "Shit Grey don't scare me like that!" I say swatting her on the arm.

"Ow stop okay okay" she says begging me for mercy. "Now tell me" she says straightening her attire. "What was it you weren't expecting? You've been standing over here in the same spot with the broom tucked under your arm for like 10 minutes just looking down at your phone with your face all scrunched up" she questions.

"Is it Jaemin?" she teases. "His name is Jimin okay? Ji Min" I say laughing at her intentional stupidity and emphasizing each syllable. "Well either way you should start to get back to work now that your uncle is here" she warns. "Shit I forgot about that! Thanks for the reminder" I say, thankful that she's helped me doge a bullet.

After she heads back towards the counter I begin cleaning up and I start to think about what has happened the past few days. First I was late to work and my uncle threatened to fire me, second Jungkook kissed me and I kissed him back, third Jimin came back to the store just because he wanted to see me and then he says he's falling for me.

I don't even know how I'm supposed to process all of this. I'm stressed enough as is that I don't have the mental capacity to really deal with my feelings towards Jimin, let alone Jungkook. First of all I've only just met Jimin but for some reason I already feel drawn towards him.

Then on the other hand Jungkook is someone that is so precious to me and I don't want to hurt him. What are his real feelings towards me? Am I really just his best friend or does he want something more out of our relationship?

Jimin is just a kid, I don't really know him and he doesn't know me. I need to figure out how to handle his feelings carefully since I'm not even sure about mine just yet and I really don't want to start sending him mixed signals.

"Fuck!" I say but immediately cover my mouth realizing that there's a woman and her child just a few feet away from me shopping around. I bow to them a few times in apology and fast walk over to Grey.

"Grey!" I whisper so the other customers who happened to sneak in while I was cleaning don't hear our conversation. "What?" she whispers back. "What am I gonna do?" I question running my fingers through my hair.

"About what?" she says clearly losing patience with this conversation. "I told Jimin he could come and see me tomorrow" I say worriedly. "Okay good for you? I don't see how that's a problem" she says confused as to why I'm so stressed about it. "Do you know who else is coming to see me tomorrow?" I say hoping she'll catch on.

"The tooth fairy? I don't know, just get to the point" she says going back to being on her phone. "Jungkook!" I say with a panicked expression. She looks up at me with a devilish glint in her eye "Oh this is gonna be fun". "Grey stop, this isn't funny, I'm really freaking out here!" I say continuing to worry.

"Don't stress, just make sure that there's enough time between the two of them coming here. What time are you supposed to see Jimin?" she questions. "Around 8, he wanted to come see me on my last break" I say informing her of our meetup.

"Okay and what time is Jungkook supposed to come pick you up?" she continues. "Around 10 when I get off" I say getting a bit calmer realizing how much time ill have between the two.

"So you're golden! Just make sure to finish up with Jimin around eight thirty and then you'll still have plenty of time until Jungkook gets here" she explains helping to bring my heart rate down.

"You're probably right" I say agreeing, realizing that I overreacted. "I know, now go away. I don't want your uncle to see us talking and then lecture us both for messing around" she says shooing me away and going back to organizing the items held behind the counter.

"Damn no sympathy for your best friend in crisis?" I say letting my head droop down towards the floor. "Nope, go away" she says with her back to me. "Wow okay I'll remember this next time you need something" I say faking threats. "Yeah yeah whatever" she ends, ignoring any other efforts I make to continue the conversation.

"Y/n!" I hear being yelled from the back office. "Shit!" I say under my breath. "Told ya" she says still not sparing me a glance. I trudge towards the source of the voice, getting ready to receive another lecture from my loving uncle.

When will this torture end?

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itspbandjellytime · 1 month

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The Assistant [Hailee Steinfeld x Fem!Reader] - Chapter 1

Plot: Y/N Waldorf is fresh out of college and her first job is being Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant, but what Y/N doesn't know is that Hailee is hiding a huge secret from the general public and from her, as her assistant.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter fic, you can also read this on wattpad under the same username "itspbandjellytime". This fanfic is also going to contain NSFW themes in the near future, so if you're under the age of 18 please don't read this. Thank you!

Word count: 1.5k words

[Y/N's POV]

My name is Y/N Waldorf, I am 21 years old and I live in Seattle, Washington, and I just graduated from college a few months ago. After four gruesome years of this course that I didn't like, I am finally free and I get to choose what job I'll have in the future since this is America and it's a free country after all. I got to say College was mentally challenging, but it was worth it after all and I got my degree, which I will probably never use in the future.

My parents, are real estate brokers and they were high school sweethearts. But they're not your typical high school sweethearts where one is a football player and the other is the girl next door, my parents were a bunch of nerds who fell in love and gave birth to two girls. I am the youngest and my sister Kelly, is the eldest.

If I can talk about their reaction to me graduating college, all I can say is that they were happy that I finished college after ranting to them I want to drop out every five seconds. However they have been bugging me for months to get a job which is annoying at first but I manage to get used to them bothering me at 3 in the morning to get one which I have- well had. I told my parents I've been working at the coffee shop somewhere in our local town, but they told me to get a PROPER job, a job that can pay me well and can give me money to support myself. As if the job at the coffee shop didn't support me when I was in college which it did for some time, I quit my job at the coffee shop a few weeks ago and now I am scouring the internet for a job.

My eyes start to hurt from staring at the screen of my laptop way too long, scrolling through countless job hunting websites, my ears start to hurt as well from the headphones I am wearing and blasting out my playlists as I look for the said job. I start to slowly give up at this point and start to overthink about my life choices until I was on the verge of tears, when all of a sudden I saw something that says: "Urgent! In need of a Personal Assistant, please contact Laura McKinnon." along with her details. I was skeptical at first when I saw the advertisement, I am fully aware about the scams happening which leads to people being in very life threatening circumstances. But with a quick google search, I realized that she works as a talent manager and she's based in California, I feel like this is also a sign from God at the same time. I immediately typed down her e-mail address and sent my resume to Laura, hoping for the best and I don't get scammed.

A few days have passed, I've been checking my e-mail almost everyday to see if I get a word from Laura which I did. According to the E-mail I sent, I am scheduled to have an interview with her via. Zoom the next day. The next day arrived and I was interviewed by Laura through Zoom, once the interview concluded she told me she'll contact me again once I get the job or not. I waited and waited, day and night for a response from Laura. I was desperate to get this job that I started to go to church almost everyday, I was religious for an entire week basically.

One day, while I was in a middle of a run just to count my steps in and getting my blood pumping, my phone starts to ring. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and answered the call from an anonymous number "Hello?" I spoke, panting and catching my breath "Hello is this Y/N Waldorf?" The person asked, the sound of the person's voice sounded sweet, feminine, and had a valley girl accent.

I furrow my brows, checking my surroundings before speaking "Yes, who is this?" I asked.

"This is Laura McKinnon, from the office of Hailee Steinfeld. I am just here to inform you that you got the job as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant." Laura said, hold on... Did she say Hailee Steinfeld? Like... THE Hailee Steinfeld?!? I get to work as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant?!? I tend not to freak out in the middle of the street knowing I am gonna be a part of Hailee's team. I've looked up to Hailee since I first saw The Edge of Seventeen for the first time and I never looked back since, she is also the reason why I am into women and met one of my closest friends, Jackie.

"Miss Waldorf? Are you still on the line?" Laura asks me, I snapped back to reality and stammered for a bit to find words "Uhm... Yes. Sorry, I was distracted." I responded, chuckling nervously.

"It's all good Miss Waldorf, anyways you will be starting next week. I know you are based in Washington, but if you have any associates around the Los Angeles area, you can stay with them." Laura told me, all did was respond with a nod and a smile on my face "Yes... I will do that, thank you so much." I said as Laura ended the call.

After my run, I headed straight to my apartment and called up my bestfriend Jackie, I know it's crazy that I am calling my internet friend before my parents who have been bugging me to get a proper job. I met Jackie through our shared interest and love for Hailee Steinfeld, thanks to the website "Twitter", I was blabbering about Hailee on the site as usual and then she asked if we can be mutuals on that site and we have been inseparable ever since also Jackie lives in Los Angeles around West Hollywood so I can crash at her place.

"Jackie!" I said with a proud tone, running around my apartment like I am a dog who just got the zoomies.

"Y/N/N! Hey, what's up?" Jackie asks me, I settle down on the couch and clear my throat.

"Girl guess what?" I ask her, I cant contain my excitement as a huge grin forms on my face.

"What?" She asks me back.

"I got a job!" I exclaimed, not telling her what my job is and who I work for just yet to build the suspense.

"No way, congrats girlie! What job?" Jackie asks.

I clear my throat again, a smirk forms on my face "Personal assistant." I confidently say.

"For?"

"Hailee Steinfeld." I responded, giggling like a teenage girl. I heard Jackie scream on the other line, causing me to laugh at her response "Yes, I am being serious Jackie. And I need to crash at your place." I told her.

"Oh my God sure, you are free to stay at my place... holy shit... You bagged a good job." Jackie compliments me and all I can do is laugh.

"It's insane, I know." I said, smiling "I start next week, and I gotta tell my parents about it as well." I added.

"Well you better tell them, girl." Jackie encouraged me, I can tell that she's leaning against a wall and smiling with her phone on her hand.

"Of course, I'll tell them and I will drive by there tomorrow." I said, ending my call with Jackie.

I told my parents about the job that I got, their reactions were positive and they supportive of me moving from Washington to California the next day. But my grandparents are huge conspiracy theorist believers, they start to talk about random things about the entertainment industry and my parents just shook their heads and told me to ignore them and enjoy my job. And in the words of my mother, she told me that this job is a once in a life time opportunity and I should savor every moment. Which I will, cause I have a feeling that working with your idol will be one of the best experiences I will have in my life time.

I spent the entire day packing my things for California, and It's a good thing that my sister, Kelly is down to look after and live in my apartment for the mean time. I love my sister, I would die for her.

The next day, I finally left Washington and headed to California. I decided to take my car and drive, it feels like a road trip with yourself and it's very therapeutic. I suggest that you try it, I spent the entire road trip blasting out Taylor Swift, eating convenient store food, sleeping in my car in empty parking spots.

The trip lasted for 17 hours, and 17 hours later I arrived in sunny Los Angeles. The last time I was in Los Angeles was when I was 15, when I first met Jackie and we saw Hailee live when she opened Charlie Puth. I took time to look around the surroundings as I drove to where Jackie lives, a smile forms on my face and it made me realize that this will be the start of a new chapter of my life and I hope this one will never end.

#hailee steinfeld #hailee steinfeld imagines #hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x fem reader #hailee steinfeld smut #kate bishop #charlie watson #emily dickinson #bumblebee #dickinson #nadine franklin #emily junk #hawkeye #edge of seventeen #pitch perfect 2 #fanfiction

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eurydicesflower · 6 months

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From the Start (zoro/robin)

Pairing: Nico Robin/Roronoa Zoro Tags: Modern Setting, Light Angst Warnings: None Word Count: 2.4 k Summary: A flight to Logue Town that will reconnect two long-time friends, and a song that will rekindle the old flame. A/N: light angst for angstober 2023 (no particular prompt, but this draft has been up since last year so i decided to finish this one) Also posted on: Archive of Our Own

“This is an announcement for passengers on flight N1127 to LogueTown. The flight has been delayed due to bad weather conditions… We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

The flight announcement has been repeated so many times now. Of course, it will be so tiring to hear it when you were supposed to be arriving the next day to visit your close friend in Cocoyashi.

Robin: im sorry, nami might arrive a day late : ((

Nami: don’t worry, it’s fine!!! at least we know that you’re going to make it :D loveyewww <3

Honestly, this delayed flight should have been making her insane right now, but when she received the text from Nami, her mood shifted. Her reassuring text had earned a small smile on Robin’s face. Taking a deep breath, she whipped out her phone and read the manuscript Koala sent to her. Just a little peak. There shouldn’t be any work-related things hindering her vacation, but it wouldn’t hurt to check some edits here and there.

“Is this seat taken?”

Robin didn’t mind looking up, “No, no, it’s fine,” before she started reading one of the lines from the manuscript. A minute later, she just realized who that was. She recognized who that voice belonged to.

“Zoro?” She never meant to mumble it out loud, and it seems the man had heard her.

“Oh. I didn’t recognize that it was you.”

It was a lie. She knew he was lying.

“Yeah, me, too! Are you also going to Nami—? Wait, you don’t have to tell me. Of course, you’ll be going there, too. How long has it been, two years?” She joked, which made Zoro chuckle for a bit. She still likes hearing him chuckle.

“Hey, it might feel like two years, but it’s only been a year since you left. By the way, how are you? Nami told me that you’re already working at the National Archive Museum in Ohara like you always wanted. Is it true?”

He remembered. Of course, why would he not know that? They had been friends for so long. Besides, Zoro has always been a supportive friend, and Robin always appreciates what he has done for her even the smallest things.

She smirked at him lightly. “I’ve been well… And yes; it’s also been a year since…”

“The day you left.” He completed her sentence before an awkward silence filled in the gap of their conversation. Robin didn’t know what to say, andso did he.

“Well, surprise, I’m back.” She chuckled, breaking the silence. “Did you miss me?” She teased.

“I would be lying if I said that I didn’t miss you.”

“Hah. Stop it…” He was a madman.

There goes him, giving her mixed signals and that signature smirk of his. That’s one of the worst things about having Zoro as one of your close friends. She hates it when he is unpredictable. And most probably, that's one of the reasons she likes him, thinking that their dynamic fits the same wavelength, which eventually causes her to fall for him for about four years.

“How’s your girlfriend?” She changed her subject.

“Oh… We ended our relationship before our first anniversary six months ago…”

“Oh. Oh… Sorry about that.” Robin didn’t know that bit of his relationship. How come she does not know—? ‘Oh, never mind,’ she thought. Once again, their conversation came to halt, and Robin went on reading the manuscript on her phone before she switched on another app on her phone to scroll mindlessly and watch silly contents.

“Did you really mean it?” Zoro broke the silence.

“What?”

“That night.”

“Zoro, I didn’t remember—”

He then showed a video of her singing at the karaoke during her despedida party. At first, she didn’t know what he meant, but slowly, the realization sank in when she sang the last words of the song, extending her hand, and pointing vaguely at someone in the audience.

“I think I was drunk that time.” She lied.

He scoffed, not actually believing her word.

“What?”

“You had a flight the next day but I know you’re not a lightweight drinker—”

“And so? I am just singing a silly little song about unrequited love, so?”

He was about to counter what she said. “Never mind, forget about it.”

“So, why are you bringing this up right now after a year?” Robin questioned him.

Not that she was bitter last year (she was); she blocked him from all of her social media accounts that she could think of. She hadn’t heard him for so long, and then he just shows up like nothing happened? Wow, that was just so uncool of Zoro, to be honest.

“Maybe it just took me so long to realize..." He stared at his feet, avoiding Robin’s gaze.

“Why now?” she asked before he could even complete his sentence.

Despite the loudness sinking in, another silence wraps them away from the noise of the airport. Robin didn’t want to hear what he was about to say next. She wanted to cover her ears. Not that she was waiting to hear him say those words out loud, but… why now?

///

Every moment in our lives comes into bits and pieces, whether you want to keep them or not. For Robin, seeing her friends for the last time at Baratie’s before her flight the next day would be one of her best and saddest decisions in life. Spending every moment to the fullest, she never knows when she will experience this once again.

“Robin!!! We’re going to miss you.” Nami pulled Robin into the tightest hug. “Who’s going to come with me when I go shopping?”

“You can take Sanji with you during your shopping sprees," Robin joked, and Nami glared at her playfully. “Okay. Okay, and maybe next time when I get back.”

“And what if that will take more than two years? Or worse, ten years…”

“Don’t worry, I promise I will be back next year.”

“You promise that. I believe your word, Robin.”

“And so Mosshead decided to show up late when Robin-chwan is already here! Why are you fucking late—?" Sanji shouted at the back when someone had arrived.

“Sorry, we’re late.”

“Who’s we?” Sanji quipped before he was visibly stunned along with his friends when Zoro was with a turquoise-haired woman.

“Everyone, this is Hiyori, my girlfriend.”

Half of his friends were surprised, and half of them were bewildered, when Zoro just nonchalantly announced having a girlfriend. Robin, on the other hand, didn’t know what to feel. She should have been happy for him. She was his friend, of course. But the more that she stares at their happy couple faces, Robin would rather get drunk than stay miserable.

“Wow, I never thought," Sanji murmured. “How long have you been together?”

“A month.”

“A month? And you kept this from us?”

“I just wanted to introduce her to you guys and to Robin as well.” Zoro smiled and introduced his ‘girlfriend’ to all of their friends. The woman smiled sheepishly at them while holding Zoro’s hand.

“Girl, are you okay?” Nami shared a concerning look at Robin.

“Don’t you just think I should have scheduled my flight a little bit earlier, so I couldn’t see this?”

Robin would be lying to herself if she said there was no jealousy bubbling up inside her guts. She couldn’t even handle looking at the couple. Nami was the only one who knew of her secret. It’s been more than one year— no, three years— she concealed what she felt for Zoro. And the moment when she wanted to tell him, maybe she should just forget it. She’ll be living away from them anyway,so it wouldn’t even matter in the end.

“Robin, it’s not your fault.” Nami held her hand and squeezed it. “We didn’t even know that he would be hard-launching his ‘girlfriend’ tonight. And this is also the first time he mentioned this to us? Like, why now?”

"Just... let’s just don’t think about that. And just enjoy the night.”

And so they did.

Her friends had prepared a night to remember, not a night to resent. She wouldn’t let her friends’ efforts go to waste just because of one minor inconvenience; she would make this night hers. The night went on, and everything was smooth sailing. Robin almost forgot what had made her mood shift for a little bit. Thanks to her friends, Robin never felt the sinking feeling—or, that’s what she thought—until Brook asked who was next in line for the karaoke machine, which was Robin’s song.

“Whose song is this? From the Start by Laufey?”

Robin stood up and grabbed the mic from Brook.

The modern bossa nova song opened with a summery guitar strum, and Robin danced with a cute sway of her hips to match the beat of the song's intro, which earned cheers from her friends.

“Don't you notice how I get quiet when there's no one else around?” Robin spared a glance at the man she had fallen for.

She couldn’t quite imagine that she would actually relate to this song after listening to it for, like, weeks now. As she sang the first lines of the lyrics, she imagined that she was the person in the song. When her gaze landed on them, she could see the crease in Zoro’s eyes when he looked at her. The burning pain that she wanted to erase just by seeing Zoro and his girlfriend doing the lovey-dovey gestures that couples do.

“Oh, how I wish you'll wake up one day, run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say…”

For some reason, Cupid shot an arrow into her heart for someone who would never feel the same way as hers. And of course, Robin had a high sense of pride; she would never confess what she really felt towards him. She’d rather let whatever she was feeling wither and wilt rather than actually say what she really feels— except there was a screaming little voice from the back of her head that she wanted to confess tonight, and confess, ‘I loved you from the start.’

She had been thinking about confessing ever since, but for some reason, there was an invisible force that held her lips and mind, reeling her not to. And to think that it has been going on for about two years now— how could she even bottle all this up? Direct and honest Robin was being held back from confessing to her long-time friend.

How could she not say it directly when she was one of the most outspoken people among their friends?

Even the smartest people had a hard time predicting love because, at the end of the day, it was not as easy as analyzing them. Be surprised at the unexpected, and that’s what Robin felt.

“Have to get this off my chest; I'm telling you today…”

When Nami first introduced her to her friends, she was intrigued by him rather than falling in love with him at first sight. Aside from Luffy, who was the most enthusiastic to befriend her during her college years, Zoro was the next one who caught her attention. She thought this was just admiration, but the next thing she knew, this once petty feeling building up inside her chest had built up into the history of genuinely liking someone. She tried to erase him from her mind, but the more she tried, the harder it was for her to move on. However, that night, she found a solution: vaguely confess with a song, then pretend and forget like nothing happened.

“I know I’ve loved you from the start.” She ended her mini-performance by extending her hand, vaguely pointed at the audience. ///

“I talked through Nami about this a month ago, and I really wanted to see you, so...”

“Zoro, just tell me already and—”

“I actually liked you before, Robin.”

Robin stared at him for a moment, so speechless that she couldn’t move her lips to respond with a witty reply.

Between her and Zoro, Robin was the most direct between them. She was brutally honest, and she was flawlessly fluent in any spoken word. But as soon as she heard what Zoro had said that evening, she knew that night was full of surprises. First, her flight to Cocoyashi was delayed; second, Zoro showed up beside her, boarding the same delayed flight; and third, his confession? What is happening? She even pinched herself to make sure tonight was real. Any moment now, she should be waking up. But she didn’t. This was real. It was happening in real time.

“What did you just say?” Deep breaths— inhaling and exhaling thoroughly, processing through what Zoro had just said. Even if she wanted to hear this for a long time, the crippling doubt creeped in. “Did you just mean to tell me this? Wait— Ah, ah.” She raised her pointing finger mid-air, stopping him for what he was about to say. “What do you mean before?”

“I liked you, Robin.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” She laughed airily and couldn’t believe what she was hearing at that moment. “How come you didn’t tell me?”

“I thought you didn’t like me before, but not until I rewatched the vid Nami sent the other day.”

That’s it? Robin belted out the loudest laugh that night. Some people beside them started to look at her as if she were crazy. All this time, when she thought he was the one who didn’t like her, she learned this almost the same day she confessed to him. Was the universe playing a joke on her?

“Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny?” He stared at her; brows furrowed in confusion.

“I hate you,” she quipped teasingly with a small smirk on her lips. “And now, you’re meeting me here at the airport, so you could tell that?”

“That’s not what I meant to say…”

“Just tell me already, Zoro so I know—”

“Do you think if we’ve been together, we would make everything work out?”

Once again, Robin was left speechless.

"Zoro, I don’t really know what to say, but… if I say that, let’s talk about this when we get to East Blue. Will you wait?”

“I’ll be waiting.” He smiled at her, never leaving her side.

Robin knew to herself that Zoro was not the romantic type. Yet, there were moments that she would be blown away, and if their friends heard what he had just said, all of them would not believe that the Roronoa Zoro possesses at least a bit of a romantic side in his veins.

And will Robin say ‘yes’ to Zoro’s question? That’s for her future self in three days to decide, even though she already knew the answer.

#zoro x robin #zorobin #zorobin fanfic #zorobin fic #roronoa zoro #nico robin #reg writes

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seongminiz · 9 months

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camboy!taeyoung thoughts !!

minors dni ; camboy roommate!taeyoung x afab!reader ; word count: ~770

warnings : not very detailed smut ; masturbation ; dont know how but this mighttt count as dubcon since both taeyoung n reader r doing everything behind each others back ? ; kind of exhibitionism idk ; i overuse the („• ᴗ •„) emoticon bc im insane

based on that one taeyoung video , might be- no its definitely all over the place , not proof read , was supposed to post this last night but i fell asleep , pls guys dont make fun of me idk how long i can still pull the autistic aroace lesbian card to defend myself from the shitty writer allegations , im very sleepy rn :3 , might post a part 2 if anyone is interested bc im not done with the thoughts („• ᴗ •„)

camboy taeyo- GETS RAN OVER BY A TRAIN

my god my god my god

he'd sometimes use fleshlights n stuff like that but nothinggg would beat when hes fucking his hand n cums all over his toned abs („• ᴗ •„) n he'd tease his audience sooo much ! being all cocky n mostly in a dom mood ,, but the most fun streams of his r the ones where hes more subby :( begging n whining n trying sooo hard not to come too early bc being this vulnerable in front of an audience makes him more sensitive n turned on •v• camboy tyoungie i fucking love u thats it

and and and and

roommate!taeyoung who also works as a camboy to have some extra money to spend on himself . u dont know abt it , u just assume hes rlly loud n horny all the time - which, hey, u cant rlly blame him for it - but u do question if hes that loud bc he wants u to hear him ,, if only u knew how ur guess isn't that far fetched , taeyoung having to keep himself from moaning ur name everytime he streams, touching himself to the thought of u - on top of him or under him , anywhere , he doesn't care , just thinking abt u is enough . and if only he knew how u took an habit of touching urself at the same time, ur bed being conveniently against the wall confining with his room .. u dont even worry abt taeyoung hearing u , you pride yourself in being on the quieter side - you really aren't and taeyoung anxiously checks if his mic is picking up on ur sounds every single time he hears u . until one eventful day - while taeyoung is out at the gym or something - u realize oh shit , u r unbelievably horny n ur personal jerk off material isn't home ,, u r so desperate , nothing you find on twitter or even those shitty porn sites seems to do the job , it's almost like you've conditioned yourself to only feel good bc of taeyoung </3 at some point , doom scrolling ur twitter tl u come across an account u follow promoting their ,, streaming channel on some obscure website that sounds like a scam . no its definitely a scam . you've never had that much of an interest in this kind of content , but you figure at this point u could try anything to get rid of how unbearably horny u r . again, nothing of what you're seeing piques your interest, until u see the thumbnail of a specific vod from a few days prior. despite being darker, you can still realize the room looks eerily similar to yours - to taeyoung's. u shake ur head, giving yourself a few slaps for good measure and whispering to yourself to 'fucking snap out of it', there's no way you're so down bad for ur roommate u r starting to imagine him as one of these camboys. no way. but u still cant fight the urge to click on the video, maybe the resemblance to taeyoung is what can get u to finally feel good . you hurriedly put your oh so beloved noise canceling headphones on and turn the volume up. that's when your heart sinks and u freeze, hand stopping halfway inside your shorts bc holy shit that sounds a little too much like taeyoung, n u r now a hundred percent sure u saw those same bedsheets in his room four days ago - coincidentally the same day this was streamed, and yes thats his shirt, the one that always drives u insane bc he looks a little too good in it .... before u know it , you're on ur third vod of his , basically binge watching all of his past streams and on the verge of tears with how much you've been overstimulating yourself . you're so lost in it u dont realize taeyoung has come back home around the midst of 2nd video or so , and knows exactly what ur up to when he hears u moaning his name . poor boy is fighting the urge to just burst into your room , telling himself it wouldn't be morally right to do so - as if jerking off to the thought of his roommate while streaming or standing right by their door as he starts to slowly palm himself over his pants while listening to you getting off is any more decent ,,

this might stay ur little secret , both too shy to confront each other abt it ,, or maybe taeyoung will just have to wait for a repeat of that day to catch you red handed and finally get what he's been craving for weeks („• ᴗ •„)

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#cravity hard hours #cravity smut #taeyoung smut #btw op on twitter deleted the video i feel miserable #(i literally downloaded it on my phone)

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elmhat · 1 year

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STAGEDDUO MY BELOVEDS

is punz going to be around for a few more chapters?

also, I love the way you write dialogue, but c!dream specifically like, the stuttering, the lame insults (idiotville flashbacks) but he's also pretty fucking intimidating when needed

Thank you so much! I love your asks. Although I have a general plan for this fic, I haven’t decided if Punz is going to reappear yet—but since I haven’t delivered much on the c!stagedduo front, I’m using this as an excuse to write a short c!Dream pov, which I’d wanted to do for a while.

The following takes place between chapters 8 & 9 in my fic "hallow the foul”

// dsmp rp

It had been stupid of Dream to fall asleep. He didn’t even realize he was, at first, until it was too late. The exhaustion had been awful recently; it always had been, to some extent, but now he could barely even hold a thought for a few minutes. Which was terrifying, seeing as he was currently spending twenty-four hours a day with Quackity.

Logically, he knew that Quackity probably had just enough sense left not to try for an attack. That didn’t mean he could be trusted. If he was being honest with himself, Dream was fucking lucky to be alive right now; he was usually punished for breaks in his guard, and those kinds of breaks didn’t get much bigger than falling asleep on the job. But a glance told him that Quackity was still unconscious himself, head awkwardly nestled in a pile of leaves.

The first thing Dream did was check his comm. Nothing from Techno; Dream didn’t even know why he still hoped for it. Though there were no new messages from Punz either, he decided to scroll back briefly through the older ones, of which there were many. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU came up quite a lot.

The guilt was still there, where Punz was concerned, but Dream had buried it away for the time being. Punz would understand eventually. Life would be easier for both of them if Quackity didn’t see them together, and it would sure as hell be easier if no one else did either.

There was a pit in Dream’s stomach, but he really didn’t want to eat right now. He would wait until Quackity got up, he decided, and there was no point in waking him sooner if he would only need to rest again in the near future. Instead, Dream checked on him from time to time as he watched the sunrise. It was something he had recently learned to appreciate.

Off to the side, leaves crackled—Dream whipped his head around to the noise. And he was hit with a thousand emotions, bad and good and insane fucking relief, as he saw Punz walking towards him.

“Holy fuck,” said Punz. Dream stood, and Punz threw their arms around him, burying their head in his shoulder. Dream awkwardly returned the embrace. “You’re such an idiot,” Punz mumbled into him, but there was no heat behind it.

“How did you find me?” asked Dream.

Punz drew back, relief clear on their face. They seemed to be studying Dream’s expression; Dream wanted to cringe at how exposed he felt like this. Punz didn’t usually see him without the mask.

“Not with your help, that’s for sure,” said Punz. “But if I could track you then Sam probably can too. He’s coming.”

Dream’s heart started racing. “W-Wait, what? How do you know? What happened?”

“After we separated in Las Nevadas, they started gathering a bunch of people to find you. I had to basically sneak past them. I don’t know who was there, or anything, but there was maybe twenty people?”

Fuck. Fuck. This was fine. Dream already knew people were coming for him; there was a reason that this had been the first real break they had taken. This stress wouldn’t help him do what needed to be done.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Punz didn’t look injured, but Dream knew better than most that even the gravest wounds could be concealed.

“Yeah, yeah, you are too?”

“Yeah.”

Punz looked suspicious of him, but they didn’t push. Their tone turned serious. “Dude, you have to stop being stupid.”

Dream frowned. “What?”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me where you were!”

“I mean, we don’t need to be in the exact same place, right? Like, it’s probably more efficient if we’re not.”

Punz scoffed. “Bro, I’m not just leaving you to deal with your problems alone, like some dumbass! I was worried sick!”

“There weren’t even any problems!”

“There weren’t— Dream the entirety of fucking Las Nevadas is gonna be on your ass right now! What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Which is why I couldn’t sit and wait around for you!” They didn’t need to be having this argument right now. They needed to move. Gods, if Punz would just listen—

“I messaged you every fucking second! Every second of every fucking day! I was right fucking here!”

Movement caught Dream’s attention; his eyes flicked to Quackity. Good, he thought; it was probably about fucking time he was awake. They had another long day ahead of them.

#hallow the foul au #c!dream #c!punz #c!stagedduo #dreblr #drabbles #my writing #elm asks #elm fics

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whackacole3 · 4 months

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Hanzo and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

I was joking with a friend about making the Overwatch characters have personality disorders, I realized that Hanzo very closely resembles someone with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (also called anankastic personality disorder).

Now I will say, I myself have some personality disorders so I have the need to project onto him. This might lead me to project certain traits onto Hanzo as I analyze his character, so keep that in mind please.

On another note, if you disagree please just scroll past and don’t argue. I’m not saying this is canon or even implied, it’s just a headcanon and a silly little analysis that I wanted to do because I was bored.

Note: OCPD and OCD are not the same thing despite the similar names. Please do your own research if you want to learn more about the differences as I want to focus this on character analysis.

Let’s get into it!

Many may be shocked to know that OCPD is the most common personality disorder (not BPD like many may think). [source] So it is very likely that Hanzo could be one of these.

To receive a diagnosis of OCPD, an individual must reach four out of the eight specific criteria. Not the full set, only partially. It is important to notice that everyone’s experience with OCPF will be different because of the many combinations that exist within the criteria.

I will be using the direct diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5. Though Hanzo is Japanese and would use the ICD-11c I’m just not as familiar with that.

Is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost.

To maintain a sense of control, people with OCPD focus on rules, minute details, procedures, schedules, and lists. As a result, the main point of a project or activity is lost, as the criteria says. People with OCPD repeatedly check for mistakes and pay extraordinary attention to detail. They do not make good use of their time, often leaving the most important tasks until the end. Their preoccupation with the details and making sure everything is perfect can endlessly delay completion. They are unaware of how their behavior affects their coworkers. When focused on one task, these patients may neglect all other aspects of their life. [source]

Now while I personally believe Hanzo does this, from my understanding there’s no exact canon proof of him being preoccupied with these things. It could be assumed he does with all the later criteria he has that he is probably this way, but we don’t know for sure. No points. 0/8

Shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion

Nothing else matters except for being perfect. Things may never be completed because the need for it to be the best it possibly can be. Only the highest of standards for themselves. They have nothing in the tank to take care of yourself or attend to your hobbies or interests. [source]

Now while this can be explained from Hanzo being the eldest son and the pressure put on him by his father, that doesn’t negate the fact he does this. We know from dialogue with other characters he holds himself to a very high standard. So, that’s a point for him. 1/8

Is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships

People with OCPD may have difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships due to their perfectionist tendencies and devotion to work. They may have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others, which can lead to conflict and disappointment. [source]

This is pretty much the same as the last one. He isn’t tied to any organization and really has no friends or close ties to anyone. While there might be other explanations for this, I think it’s plausible he might not want to set himself up for disappointment. I’ll give a half point here. 1.5/8

Is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values

People with OCPD think actions and beliefs are either completely right or completely wrong. They often feel they are always right. It’s as if nothing will change their minds. [source]

Hanzo believes he is unforgivable and unworthy of anything. While this might be a more morbid belief that what is typically for OCPD, it still constitutes as one and would apply here. So sadly, he gets a point. 2.5/8

Is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value.

Hoarding is a very common symptom in OCPD because of the fear of losing something.

While I headcanon this: we have no canon proof of it. No point. 2.5/8

Is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things.

People with OCPD want to do things on their own without any help for fear of someone messing up their work. They typically deeply consumed in dysfunctional beliefs and genuinely see their way of functioning as the only "correct" way, where the world needs to conform to their own strict standards. [source]

This is very much Hanzo. He works by himself, a lone wolf, never with anyone else. While we don’t know if it’s exactly for the reason stated above, i would say it’s a plausible situation enough to give him a full point. 3.5/8

Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes.

This one is pretty self explanatory .

Hanzo doesn’t have this, he gave away all his fortune. So, no point. 3.5/8

Shows rigidity and stubbornness.

People with OCPD are often described as “stuck in their ways” and “unwilling to change”. Such rigidity often manifests in a sense of hypermorality.

Hanzo is most definitely stubborn in every way possible. He doesn’t want to do anything except for his way. While he doesn’t have hypermorality, he is definitely ridged in his ways. Point. 4.5/8

And there we have it. Four and a half longs. If he was real, Hanzo could very much qualify for an OCPD diagnosis. There’s a lot of possible “stretching” and projecting; but in my eyes he had OCPD.

Now, again, this whole analysis is all for fun, shits and giggles if you will, so if you disagree that’s completely okay! Just don’t be mean about it, it’s just a headcanon/personal belief.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #hanzo #hanzo overwatch #hanzo shimada #ocpd #obsessive compulsive #obsessive compulsive personality disorder #obsessive compulsive pd #character analysis #analysis

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bottom-boy-darren · 2 years

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Ive never been so happy to see you

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: angst, fluff ending

Summary: you and namjoon have a fight that leads to you locking yourself in your room. When he realizes he hasn't heard from you for a whole day, he worries that you might have done something to yourself that he would feel guilty about for the rest of his life.

Author note: I feel like this story didn't get written as well as I wanted it to be but I still posted it because I didn't know what else to post. Also I have requests open and i would recommend to request something for me to write cause I'm running out of ideas :')

Trigger warning: argument between couple, reader gets told she's too clingy, reader locking themself inside their room, mentions of suic*de

**please do not read if you get triggered by any of these warnings mentioned**

(Y/n's pov)

Disappointed and frustrated. Those were the only 2 words that could describe you right now. You were currently sitting in front of your kitchen counter while scrolling on you phone. occasional, you would glance at the clock to check the time.

Namjoon had promised that he would be home by 9 so you both could enjoy a nice dinner together but it was already midnight and there was no sign of him showing up any time soon. No text. No call. Not even a simple voice-mail that would take 2 seconds.

You felt like you were going to explode. Saying you were just disappointed felt like an understatement but you weren't suprised by his behavior. Just in the last week he bailed on you three times. You understood that he was busy with work but tonight he promised he would show up. You now realized that it was an empty promise.

At this point you didn't even feel like eating dinner, the food was already cold and you knew you wouldn't be able to enjoy it anymore. You sighed as you got up. You put all of the food you made into a plastic container and put it in the fridge, then you made your way over to the stairs to go sleep.

As soon as you were about to go up, you heard the front door open. You turned your head to see who it was and ofcourse it was Namjoon. He looked back at you with a some what of a guilty smile while closing the door.

"Hey y/n. Why are you still awake?" Namjoon said while taking off his shoes

"Oh hey namjoon. I don't know.. Maybe it's because I was waiting for someone to show up to dinner." You honestly didn't know why you were being sarcastic. You weren't necessarily mad at him, You were just annoyed.

"Y/n, i'm sorry that I'm late. I was busy with work and I couldn't come home on ti-"

"Too busy to even take a few seconds to text me and say, OH HEY Y/N, BY THE WAY, I WONT MAKE IT TOO DINNER TODAY" you said, cutting him off while rolling your eyes.

You wanted him to know how you felt after getting stood up four whole times in less than two weeks.

Namjoon looked at you. He was usually a pretty calm person but today felt different. His stare seemed more angry. You weren't trying to cause a fight, you were just being stubborn and wanted to get your point across.

"I already told you I was sorry. I was busy and it completely flew over my head. I don't know why you're making it such a big deal." namjoon started to walk towards the kitchen, his patience growing thin by the minute, but you didn't want your convo to just end like that. He wasn't understanding your point of veiw.

"Big deal? I'm not making it a big deal. I'm just trying to explain to you that getting stood up 4 times in the past week even tho you promised you wouldn't do it again sucks. Maybe you should prioritize some things other than just working all the time."

"MAYBE I JUST DONT WANT TO PRIORITIZE YOU ALL THE TIME. I can't just spend all my time with you just because you want me too. You're always too much.. Maybe try being less clingy sometimes for a change?" Namjoon said while narrowing his eyes at you

"W-what?" You responding trying not to cry

"You heard me.. You're so fucking annoying" He said walking into the kitchen.

You felt a tear roll down your eyes. Your heart hurt and you felt a lump in your throat. You weren't trying to argue with him. You just wanted him to realize where he was the wrong and not say something like "there's always next time".

"Oh really.. that's it. The whole reason we're having this problem is because I'm clingy?" You said to yourself as You walked upstairs to your room and you locked the door behind you.

While you walked over to you bed. You started to let the feelings you bottled up in the past week out. Your tears felt warm and rushed as His words went to your head. Maybe you were too clingy, or maybe you were just flat out annoying.

You got into your bed and wrapped yourself into your blanket. You grabbed your little koala plush that you kept on your side table and hugged it close to you.

(Namjoon's pov)

Namjoon opened the fridge to see some containers which he assumed to be the food you had cooked. He grabbed the containers and opened them up to see his favourite food. He smiled to himself but then frowned.

Why had he been so mean to you? All you had ever done was care for him.. he didn't deserve you. Namjoon started to think over the events of today leading up to right now.

This morning, namjoon had gotten yelled at for not finishing his lyrics for his upcoming song on time, he had also accidently spilled his coffee on himself which wasted his time to make up for not writing the lyrics,

he had also totally forgotten most of the dance that he and his members had been trying to learn and to make up for it he had tried to work on it for longer, which caused him to forget to be at home on time for dinner.

Namjoon felt bad for you. He knew he broke your heart as you were a sensitive person. He made his way to your room, trying not to think of all the possibilities of you not forgiving him. When he reached your room door he heard crying on the other end.

This mad his mind go blank. He made you cry.. he knocked on your door a few times but the crying stopped as soon as he did.

(Y/n's pov)

You stopped your crying abruptly as You heard someone knock on your rooms door, you already knew it was Namjoon. I mean who else would it be? You were the only two that lived in your shared apartment.

"Y/n.. are you there?" You heard namjoon call from inside the hallway.

You didn't respond to him, Since you wanted to be alone. But then He tried to open the door of your room, only to find out it was locked. You figured he knew you were already in there since he saw you go up to your room so you waited for him to continue what he was going to say.

"I know, you don't want to see me right now.. and i know you're mad at me but I'm so so sorry. I realized I fucked up and this doesn't fix it but I promise I'll make it up to you. You're not annoying or clingy. I didn't mean anything I said. I was mad earlier. Not at you, of course, but.. you know what I mean right?.. I love you so much and I promise after tomorrow, we can hang out as much as you want."

You don't respond to him because you honestly just wanted to go to sleep. Of course you heard his apology but all you could think about were his mean words from ealier.

Namjoon took a second to wait for you to respond but you didn't. He expected you to even open the door since the both of you always slept beside eachother, even if you were in a fight. But he understood why you didn't. right now you didn't feel like seeing him.

"I.. I'm going to go sleep in my room. good night, love you." And with that you heard his footsteps fade away.

(Namjoon's pov)

Walking away from y/n's door frame, namjoon felt guilty. You two slept beside eachother pretty much every night... did he fuck up that bad? What if y/n didn't want to see him again? Namjoon felt tears going to his soft eyes but tried telling himself it was fine. He could make up for it after tomorrow, once he got his work done.

Namjoon walked into his room that was only a door away from yours. He didn't feel like sleeping right now, even tho he was tired, he should be working so that he could spend more time with you later. Namjoon sat down in his chair, turned on his desk lamp and opened up his computer. He started to write the lyrics for his next song.

- time skip to Next morning at 10 -

Namjoon had just gotten out of the bathroom, after he had gotten ready for work. He fell asleep at around 2 last night so he still felt drowsy but on a good note, he had finished the lyrics for his new song so he didn't have to do more work than needed today.

Namjoon made his way to you room to go see if you had woken up but to his surprise you room door was still locked. He thought it was strange because you'd usually be out of bed by now, making breakfast for you two but He decided not to wake you up since he thought you needed the sleep anyways.

Namjoon made his way downstairs, grabbed some food and went to work.

- time skip to when y/n wakes up - (y/n's pov)

"Honk" "tires screeching" "other noises cars make"

You woke up to the sound of a few cars making a ruckus outside of your bedroom window. You groaned as you were tired but any tierdness you felt soon got over taken by the feeling of absolute hell. Your body was tangled up in your sheets because you had been tosing and turning pretty much all last night and you had the biggest headache ever.

'How long did I sleep for?' you thought to yourself as you picked up your phone from your bedside table. You turned it on to see that it was already 1:00. You quickly got up and out from you bed which didn't ofcourse didn't make you headache any better.

You forgot to make breakfast for namjoon.. a wave of guilt washed over you as you realized he probably didn't have time to eat something proper before he left. You turned on you phone and started to text namjoon.

'Hey I'm sorry I woke up late, did you eat anything before you left?'

You were about to hit send but before you did, you deleted the message. What were you thinking. Namjoon had just said yesterday that you were being clingy and here you go again, annoying him while he's busy. Although he said he didn't mean it, what if he was lying just to make you feel better? You put your phone away and went to go do your morning routine.

- after y/n finished her morning routine -

You got out of the bathroom and went downstairs to go get yourself some food. Although you had just finished your morning routine and should have felt atleast a little bit better by now, you still felt like you wanted to lay in bed all day and just be alone.

So that's what you planned on doing. After getting some food, you also grabbed water and some snacks and made your way to your room. You placed everything onto your bed and turned on your TV. You started the watch some k dramas while comforting yourself. You didn't plan on leaving the comfort of your bed today.

- time skip to 9 pm - (Namjoon's pov)

Namjoon was in the practice room. Today he had spent the day practice the new dance he and his band members were learning. He was proud of himself since he had caught on to the dance pretty quick today.

Right now he and his members were on break. They all were sat around eachother, some drinking water and cooling themselves off while some of the others were somehow still energetic and fooling around.

Namjoon was wiping his sweat off with towel and rummaging through his bag to find his phone. He basically hadn't turned it on at all today, only really to check the time.

He turned it on a waited for his notifications to pop up. There was a few but not what he was looking for. He was looking for a text from you. Everyday, even the days you were busy or didn't want to talk to him, You would text him to make sure he was okay. It was just one of those nice habits you had.

But today there was nothing. Namjoon was just going to let it off as you didn't want to see him but that's when it clicked in his head... he hadn't seen you in a whole day. What if something bad happened. What if.. no.. I couldn't be. Right? A look of fear washed onto his face which didn't go unnoticed by his members.

"Hey namjoon? Everything alright?" Asked jin, the oldest member in their group

"Yeah.. I have to go tho. I'll see you guys later, good night bye!" Namjoon responded quickly while grabbing his things and making his way out of the building.

Once namjoon made his way outside the building, he grabbed his car keys out of his bag, unlocked his car and sat in. (We all know he can't drive but for the sake of the story we can pretend lol) he quickly threw his bag into the passenger seat and put on his seat belt. He started the car and started driving to your shared apartment.

You weren't the type of person to just not talk to him for a whole day. Well not anymore you weren't. Back when you and namjoon first met you were suffering with depression and were slightly suic*dal. That was a long time ago but what if you weren't asleep like he thought.. what if you actually did do something to yourself.

Namjoon started to let out a few tears. If he came home to you not there and well, he would never forgive himself.

- time skip to when namjoon made it home -

Namjoon ran into your shared apartment in tears. He quickly went all around the downstairs floor to find you. Around this time you would be making dinner in the kitchen but you weren't anywhere to be found.. that means you were still in your room.

Namjoon walked over to the stairs, his heart sinking with each step that he took. When he got to your room door he was about to turn the door nob but hesitated before doing so.

If he opens that door to see you dead.. it would be a memory he wouldn't ever forget ..

of course he didn't want to remember that forever but he had to make sure you were okay. He took a deep breath as he walked in.

(Y/n pov)

You were currently still in bed, re-watching your favourite k-drama. It was about 8:30-ish and you were close to dosing off to sleep when you heard someone turn the door nob of your room. You ready knew it was namjoon before he even came in so you turned around so your back was now facing him when he came in.

While he was walking in you could hear him crying so you were about to turn around and see what was wrong but before you could, he layed down in the bed next to you and hugged you. He had his face in the crook of your neck and he continued to cry.

(Namjoon's pov)

As I took a step into the room, the lights were off but I could still see y/n in her bed due to the light of the TV playing a k-drama. I couldn't help but start crying even more out of relief. I quickly walked over to the bed and layed down next to her. I wrapped my arms around her middle while crying into the space between her shoulder and neck.

(Y/n's pov)

"Y/n.. Ive never been so happy to see you." namjoon said in-between choked sobs

You turned around as you hugged him so he would be closer to you. You started to caress his hair to try and stop him from crying even more.

"Namjoon.. baby.. what's wrong?" You asked him, being worried about his well being

"I just love you so much and I'm sorry about yesterday. Can we spend time together please?" He said, calming down a little

Namjoon still had his arms around you, hugging you like a koala.

"I love you more and ofcourse we can. Let's watch a movie together" you said smiling down at him

He smiled back at you nodding his head in approval.

_____________________________________________________________

The end

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tdp-fandom · 11 months

Text

Shipping Poll Update

Click here if you haven't voted yet

Hello friends! As of the writing of this post, I've received 103 responses which is amazing! Thank you all so much! A special thank you goes to those who shared the poll - it is thanks to you guys that I got this many responses and I really appreciate it <3

I would like to share some general statistical data so far (the one that doesn't have an impact on the overall results) and address some feedback that I've received. Some graphs

I'm very happy to see that tumblr users have been the most active! You guys rock! Reddit has also been really active and I'm happy to see discord and twitter catching up!

I don't expect a lot of activity from dreamwidth as it's a different kind of website and I barely have any followers there but I'm curious to see how it goes. I ended up not posting anything on instagram because I would need to make images and I currently don't have the spoons for that :c

The age graph is also really cool! I'm very happy to see so many active 31+ people! Almost a quarter! And I'm very grateful to the young adults, who are the main bulk of the participants! I'm also happy to see teen participants express their votes as well c:

That's its for graphs for now - I can't share the rest just yet without the risk of getting the data skewed.

What I'd like to talk about next is your amazing feedback and how a few early participants saved this poll! Read under cut.

Feedback

People Who Have Saved the Poll

I posted the poll at 2 am my time (I had been working late nights on it the entire week because of real life responsibilities taking most of my free time) but decided to stick around for a bit to check if everything was going smoothly and to finish my conversations with friends on discord.

About 7 votes in, I decided to check on the poll and I saw this message in the feedback field:

"I didn`t see Rayla/Callum anywhere. Am I just blind or?"

This person was a life saver! Because although I know I added Rayllum originally, I must've accidentally deleted it and never noticed T-T it really is super easy to accidentally click on an X and delete a row from a multiple choice grid on google forms. Thanks to that person the crisis was averted. And it really would've been a crisis, because Rayllum is the flagship of TDP and getting lots of answers with no opinion on Rayllum would've really hurt the accuracy of the data.

I had also forgotten to add opinion options for some categories in the controversial ships section, which a friend as well as two poll takers notified me about!

Thank you all for the valuable feedback! I don't know what I would do without you.

Other Feedback

A few people mentioned that they weren't sure if it were ok not to tick every ship and I realized I hadn't been clear on that in my instructions. It is absolutely fine to skip whatever you feel like skipping. If there are ships you don't care about so much you don't even want to choose any option for - that is 100% valid and it tells me important information about the ship - you're not just neutral about it, you really do not care about a ship. And if I want to accurately evaluate our fandom's relationship with various ships, this information is also important.

People also commented that there have been too many ships to go through and that's definitely true. I tried to be as thorough as I could by including every possible ship people would have opinions on but the lists ended up being huge. I am planning to change a few things for the season 5 poll. I will probably exclude certain ships that won't do very well on this poll (unless the events in S5 warrant keeping them) and try to rearrange them in a way that can help people go through them faster.

There was a related comment where a person noted that it's not very convenient to scroll back and forth through the four opinion choices on mobile and suggested using just the numbers 1 to 4. That is a very good idea - I will implement this in the next poll.

One person was asking about Breakfast Guards being included in the canon ships. While I didn't get any official confirmations, they were shown almost kissing in the episode where Zubeia visits Katolis so I think that counts as them having some sort of onscreen not strictly platonic relationship.

While I explained the kinds of ships the poll was dealing with as well as the difference between active and passive shipping, I didn't actually explain what I mean by shipping, as one person rightfully pointed out! It's not an easy thing to define but I will try to come up with something for the season 5 poll! So far we can stick to romantic, queerplatonic or nonromantic sexual dynamics.

I used the wrong ship name for Rex Igneous x Avizandum. It should be Zanrex instead of Rexandum and the wonderful @cometchasr explained to why that particular shipname was chosen! He said that Zan was a nickname for Avizandum used a in few fics featuring the former dragon king and it fit very well with how the nickname Zym works. When I don't know a shipname I often just make one up on the spot as a placeholder but I am always happy to hear feedback from actual shippers and I switch to their preferred shipname.

I got so many nice compliments and words of encouragement too! Thank you guys! It means a lot ;__;

I will try to address feedback roughly once a week and keep you all updated on how things are going!

#the dragon prince #tdp shipping poll #tdp shipping poll s4

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bookofbolden · 6 months

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TIMING: Pre-goo LOCATION: Sly Slice PARTIES: Van ( @vanoincidence ) & Eleanor SUMMARY: Eleanor ventures into Sly Slice in search of pizza and leaves with a new friend who's just as awkward as she is. It's friendship at first slice. WARNINGS: Parental death (mentioned)

Yet another day had passed before Eleanor realized that she hadn’t eaten anything. As wrapped up in writing her novel as she was, it wasn't unusual for her to only step away from her desk when nature called, and then she went right back to typing, deleting, and scribbling down notes on her iPad. Her stomach had finally let out a long, deep gurgle and she felt the first true pangs of hunger - she sighed and closed her laptop and looked at her watch. Late. Very late, in fact. She wouldn’t be able to stop into one of her usual places and didn’t feel comfortable enough having something delivered after the sun was set, so she scrolled through her phone looking for restaurants in the area that boasted late hours and came across something promising: Sly Slice. Being from New York she was a pizza fan and their prices beat anything else she could find, so after pulling up the address she hopped into her car and made her way over.

Eleanor had not been prepared for the crowd - it seemed that many of the locals also preferred their cheap pizza during obscene hours of the night, so she stood awkwardly in line, her knuckles white as she clutched her handbag and fought against the swell of emotions around her. It was mostly just obnoxiously drunk party goers, but there was also the occasional depressing thought and sudden spikes of loneliness. She bit her lip and kept her eyes trained ahead, wishing that the line would move quicker so that she could retreat into the peacefulness of her apartment.

When she finally approached the counter she let out a deep breath and offered a nervous smile to the person behind the counter. “Hello.” Her voice was weak after not being used all day so she cleared her throat and tried again. “Do you have a moment? I just found this place online.” Her eyes rolled over the menu as she tried to block out the noise around her.

With the school year back in swing, Sly Slice was busy yet again. With Janice’s termination (Van liked how dramatic it sounded), Rocky had ended up needing to step in. Still, the stress of it all latched onto her like a stupid little leech. Van hated being busy at work, even if the day went by fast. Most of all, she hated not getting tips. Rocky shouted something from the back and Van went into the kitchen to find several of the slices backordered now ready. “You need to hire somebody else.” He glared at her and she shrugged, carrying the plates out to the front and shouted the order numbers, handing over the slices of pizza to college students. Some she recognized, some she didn’t. She felt little beneath their stares.

But they were gone as soon as they arrived, and in their place was a woman who looked a little older than her but not by much with worried eyes and a nervous smile. Van blinked at the brunette and looked down at the menu that was taped to the counter. There really wasn’t a lot to choose from, but she knew that in itself confused newcomers.

“I’ve got all night, unless it’s like, super late and then you might get locked in here after my shift. You might also get eaten by the metal eating rats.” Maybe too much information, but she was stressed. Luckily, Rocky thought that the fridge getting a chunk bitten out of it had been Janice’s fault, so it was her check he took the repairs out of. “But um, yeah! Totally, that’s why I’m here. Number one customer service, or cashier? I don’t know.” She was blabbering now and she felt nerves prick at her skin. She just wanted to go home. With her magic more on the fritz, she’d considered calling out, but Rocky had threatened her with being fired if she did. She couldn’t afford to be fired, not right now. So she plastered on her best fake smile. “We have four flavors, give or take like, a few since you can remove some stuff from the veggie pizza if you want, but that’s on you to pick it off.” She jutted her thumb towards the back, “Rocky’s words, not mine.”

Eleanor tore her eyes away from the menu and stared at the woman behind the counter for a moment as the words sunk in. “Metal eating rats?!” Maybe nothing should have surprised her at that point but that wasn’t something she’d seen coming. She’d been fine with finding out that she was an empath and that vampires were a thing, but she would have to draw the line when it came to rodents with supernatural abilities. A shiver ran down her spine but she returned her attention back to the short menu. “Well, considering you’ve helped me out by not having an overwhelming amount of options I shouldn't keep you here waiting: could I just have pepperoni?” It wasn’t the most creative option for a native New Yorker but she'd never claimed to be a foodie.

She smiled a bit at the worker’s rambling - it was nice to not be the one talking someone else’s ear off for once, but Eleanor could tell that a storm was brewing below the surface. “Are you alright?” She asked before she could truly stop herself. “I mean, you seem a little,” she struggled to find the right word, “Stressed. Are they working you too hard or is this crowd not typical for this time of night?” She looked pointedly toward the crowd of college-aged customers and offered a kind smile. “Unless you’re the manager… or is that this Rocky person? Hopefully the next time there’s a crowd like this there will be more people working to help you out a little bit.”

“Metal eating rats.” For once in her life, Van’s voice went completely flat, void of any emotion. It seemed a little dumb to even be bringing it up, because who would believe her? Maybe she could find Jade’s number and make the older woman go to bat for her, as if she even would. “But it’s gone now, some lady tossed it into the alley with a bucket. I don’t think he’s coming back.” She hoped that was the case, because if it wasn’t, then things were going to get real awkward, especially with Rocky around a lot more. “Pepperoni? For sure, for sure. Do you want that, like, super crispy, or kind of soggy?” It was the illusion of choice. They all came out the same way, and she was pretty sure that the pies on the warming rack were somewhere in between.

At the customer’s question, Van shrugged. “I work at a pizza place, am I alright?” She wasn’t sure where the boost of confidence had come from, especially with how snippy it sounded. She shook her head. “I’m great, but not like super great, you know? On the edge of being great, but closer to like, the other end of things. I don’t know.” She tapped her fingers on the notepad before she stuck the order on the sill where Rocky’s hand swiped the paper away. Why are you not just shouting the orders at me, Vanessa? Van grimaced. “I told you it’s Van!” She nearly waltzed into the kitchen to explain why it was important he call her by her chosen name before she became distracted by the customer again. “Rocky, he’s real, and he’s in there. You heard him, right?” She poked at her nametag. “You see this has the essa part crossed out, right? He doesn’t learn.” It wasn’t this woman’s fault. “But um, thanks, that’s cool of you to say.” She cleared her throat and punched the woman’s order into the register. “Did you want a drink? We only have like, three flavors.”

Eleanor tilted her head and tried to imagine a metal eating rat. Had it even been real? The strange shift in the worker’s emotional presence indicated that something had definitely happened, whether the rat actually had some kind of mutant abilities or not. “I’ve heard about a lot of strange things ever since I moved to this town, I probably shouldn’t be surprised that the rat population doesn’t behave normally. I’ve only found a few other people who behave normally. Not that that’s always a bad thing, of course, it’s just… different from anywhere else I’ve ever lived before, that’s for sure.” Crispy or soggy? She wondered briefly if she’d accidentally ordered French fries instead of pizza. “Uh… whatever comes out is fine? I’m actually here because I realized that I haven’t eaten at all today since I was so focused on working - you guys were like the only people available this late.”

Though she’d only worked in customer service for a short amount of time, Eleanor was able to sympathize with the worker because she knew how demanding the job could be. She didn’t take the harsh tone personally and offered an understanding smile. “Is it too personal to ask how long you’ve been working here? You might be burnt out and you just need a change of pace and scenery. I wouldn’t rule it out. I will say that working from home is a dream if you’re an introvert like me but I wouldn’t recommend it if you enjoy actually being around people.” She shifted her weight from foot to foot awkwardly during the short, heated exchange, not sure what to do with herself until she was addressed again. “I heard him alright and I see where the rest of the name is crossed out. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Van. I’m Eleanor - have you tried getting a new name badge? Just so everyone addresses you by the name that you prefer?” Not that it would really matter much if Rocky still refused to honor her wishes. “Sure, I’ll take a drink. Anything you suggest is alright by me. I should start coming here more often, the simplicity of your menu makes things a lot easier for me.”

Van had lived in Wicked’s Rest all of her life, so any weird behavior was totally lost to her. Not to mention, half the time she was one of the ones exhibiting it. It was easier to do in places of comfort, like at her register at Sly Slice, or even at home on the internet. The internet was easier. She could say what she wanted to say without fear of anxiety getting the better of her. She thought that was better for everyone. Most people became uncomfortable around people who were too anxious. Her grandma was one of them. Not that it mattered. Van’s emotional state was a constant topic of her therapist and grandmother– well, not now, but in the before times. In the times that she still had either of them in her life. Now, she dodged e-mails from her therapist for follow up appointments. “I think it’s better to be weird than like, normal, anyway. Normal people are boring.” She wished she were normal which was the funny part about all of this. If she were normal, she wouldn’t be melting things constantly. At the comment about wanting it however it came out, Van nodded. “I can respect that.”

“Hm?” Van looked up from the register as the brunette asked how long she’d been working at Sly Slice. She looked around, trying to count in her head how many months it’d been. Maybe more than half a year. Would the customer look down on her for that? That she wasn’t some kind of pizza expert? Probably not. “Umm.. not like, super long. But like, long enough?” She attempted a smile, but it fell a little short. “I like to work here, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not like a dream or anything. You know?” She could hear Rocky’s voice in her head, DREAM OF PIZZA! But the customer’s suggestion was one that she’d heard before, that she might be burnt out. She knew that feeling, it was always present. But what else would she do? Where else would she go? Rocky had been the only one to hire her. “I’ve got bills to pay so like, being burnt out isn’t really an option, plus I didn’t go to college, so…” She shrugged, “it’s fine for what it is, you know? Can’t like, super complain.” She could, and she would. Mostly to people online. Rocky would have her head for complaining to a customer. Or, maybe an ear. “Eleanor is a nice name. Reminds me of an old lady, but not in a bad way. The kind that makes you sweaters, you know?”

Van punched in the discount code, ignoring the reaming she’d get from Rocky in the future, and looked up at Eleanor. “I have thought about it, but name tags are sort of expensive. We have to pay for our own.” They were fifteen dollars to replace, and that was money she could pump into Honkai Star Rail. “I think you look like an orange soda kind of girl.” She paused. “Or maybe a grape soda one, but we don’t have grape soda, so orange soda it is.” Van placed the large cup down onto the counter and motioned towards the soda fountain. Two out of the five flavors were marked with OUT OF ORDER signs, leaving orange soda, an off brand of Coca Cola, and some diet soda that she couldn’t pronounce the name of.

Not wanting to be normal was a foreign concept to Eleanor who had spent most of her life wishing that she were just like everyone else. When she was younger she’d longed for a stable home with two parents who wouldn’t give up on her (something she’d eventually gotten but sometimes she felt that it had come far too late), she wished that she could just have a conversation with people without having a panic attack, and she wished most of all that she could only be responsible for her own emotions and not have to shoulder the weight of everyone else’s. Which, she might add, Van’s emotional state was making her very uncomfortable but not in the usual way, in a way that made her feel like she’d eaten too much before getting onto a rollercoaster. That’s what Van was in terms of emotional stability, a rollercoaster. “I literally just met you but I think you’re pretty great. You’re not rude or anything and you’ve been very kind and patient with me. I appreciate that.”

Eleanor nodded in agreement - she did know. She’d had to make ends meet before and, if she didn’t light a fire under herself with this new novel, she might have to do so again in order to stay up to date with rent, but she’d never look down on someone because of their occupation. Who was she to judge? “Livin’ ain’t cheap,” she smiled to herself as she recited something her adoptive father often quoted, “I applaud you. I’ve never had what it took for customer service, I was an anxious mess whenever I would try. I couldn’t even do lemonade stands when I was younger.” She enjoyed getting compliments on her name but the mention of it being an old lady name took her back to her days of middle school where mean children teased her for it. Still, Van didn’t seem to want to insult her so she kindly smiled. “I picked it myself. And I do crochet, so maybe I’ll bring you a homemade sweater one of these days.”

She wanted to offer to leave a tip that would cover the amount of the name tag but didn’t want to come across as insensitive and definitely didn’t want Van to believe she thought of her as a charity case. Eleanor had never looked down her nose at anyone and only hoped that she wasn’t coming off as snooty. “Orange soda is perfect, I haven’t had that in a long time so it’ll be nice to have some again.” She looked over to the soda fountain, just happy that at least one of the good flavors was still in working order, then turned back to Van. “I really do appreciate you, you know. I think you’re doing great. And I think you’re a great person.” It was a weird thing to say to someone she’d only known for about fifteen minutes, but she believed everything she said. Also, she just hoped that her words would help calm Van’s emotional turmoil. “Again, I know we’ve just met and everything but… I’ve been told I’m really good at listening to people whenever they have something they need to get off their chest.” Not that she expected the other to dump all of her emotional baggage onto someone she hardly knew, but she wanted to extend the offer anyhow.

Van scrunched her nose, “yeah, well, rude people are like, terrible.” She could be not nice sometimes, but usually only to the kinds of people who deserved it, or to people who were mean to her first. She wasn’t usually the kind of person to be mean for the sake of being mean, and why would she be mean to a customer? Did Eleanor usually come across really aggressive people? That sucked for her, Van thought. She thought about middle school, and even elementary school and the bullying she’d endured for just being different. For talking too much, or not at all— for melting things even though nobody could trace it back to her. She wondered if Eleanor had ever experienced anything like that. Van’s mind raced as she tried to imagine what kind of rude things Eleanor could encounter, but realized now was probably not the time and place for such thoughts. “I think the world needs more nice people.” That was good, that made sense.

As Eleanor spoke, Van nodded. “This was like, the only place that would really hire me.” That wasn’t a lie, not really. She had been fired from a few places, but Rocky for the most part, was pretty easygoing when he wanted to be, and she got to play games on her phone when she wasn’t taking orders, so that made all of this easy. “Some people are like, really weird about their pizza though… so maybe it’s a good thing you never landed into this kind of business.” Van tapped her fingers against the edge of the register, looking past Eleanor to a couple of teens that she thought might come into the shop, but they kept walking. She realigned her gaze and raised a brow. “You picked your own name? That’s pretty cool. I guess I did, too.” She pointed at the name tag again, “I go by Van instead of Vanessa, so that’s like picking a name, I guess.” She had already told Eleanor that, but it didn’t stop her from repeating it. “Wait, really? A sweater? That’d be cool, as long as it’s not itchy.”

Van wore a pinched expression, then relaxed. “Not that it’d matter, I’d super treasure it, don’t worry.” She would have to, if somebody had gone out of their way to make her something, even if she didn’t know them that well. Van decided there and then that Eleanor was a good person. Not that her radar was any good, but still.

Eleanor thanked her for the soda and Van thought that might be it, and she caught herself thinking about how she’d reach out to her for the sweater. Then, Eleanor was telling her she was a good person. The pinched expression was back and Van opened her mouth to respond, but how was she supposed to? She’d never thought of herself as a good person, certainly not to people who’d just met her. Usually, they became frustrated with her. “Um, thank you.” Was this girl a prankster? Was she pulling one over on her? Had Rocky sent her to tell her all of the things he wished he could say but couldn’t? No, that didn’t make sense. He had no issue yelling at her. He would probably tell her he was proud, too. “Oh! Are you a therapist?” She felt a little uneasy by the prospect, “not that.. that’s a bad thing, but um, are you?” Had Erin sent this woman her way? That would be like, totally weird.

“That’s the truth.” Eleanor agreed with a sigh. Because of her abilities she was usually able to understand why some people might not be the friendliest - most of it stemmed from some kind of internal struggle like sadness or anxiety. Some people though, as she’d learned long ago, just simply did not want to be kind. “Wouldn’t it be so much better if everyone was just a little more empathetic?” She smiled to herself as the word rolled off her tongue. She still wasn’t used to having a title for herself, empath.

“Really? Pizza? Other than the toppings it’s all pretty much the same, right? It’s not like a five course meal or anything.” She felt some pity for Van and hoped that she wouldn’t have too many rude customers going forward because if her customer service was like this with everyone then Eleanor was having a hard time finding a reason to give her a hard time. “I did! My parents allowed me to legally change it from Emily on the day they adopted me.. Which was also my fourteenth birthday so that makes it even more special. It was, to date, my best birthday yet.” Of course the only thing to rival it were the birthdays she’d spent with Lily but she didn’t feel like opening that can of worms. She was having a pleasant conversation, bringing up such a sad topic right now would only ruin it. “Non-itchy, got it. Do you have any favorite colors?” She eyed the other carefully and tried to guess her size. Would she actually get around to making the sweater? Probably. She had a lot of free time on her hands and, again, she really liked Van.

Eleanor wished that the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She knew that it would be weird saying such things to someone she’d just met and didn’t blame Van at all for her reaction. “Uh, no.” She blushed and busied herself with clumsily picking up the cup. “Nope, not a therapist. But I see one regularly. Sorry, I didn’t mean to… upset you. Um, I could just go fill up my cup and wait on the pizza. Thanks for… being great?” It came out as a question because she wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t add to the mess she’d created.

Van nodded slowly, not quite understanding Eleanor’s angle. She wasn’t sure what the point of this conversation was, especially since she knew the world would be a better place if they were more empathetic. A lot of people might not suffer the way they were if that were the case, but that wasn’t how the world worked. People who called themselves empaths smelled like lavender and spoke to rocks that they said were gifted to some Greek God. At least, that’s what Van had seen on Tik Tok. “Yeah, I think so.”

At Eleanor’s question, Van nodded. “People can get pretty mean over a lot of things, especially if it takes too long.” That was the most common argument that Van encountered. When people became upset with her, they really became upset. It was hard to avoid in customer service, but even Eleanor had explained that she might not be cut out for CS the way most people were. Van really didn’t blame her since it wasn’t for everyone. There was a lot of information coming at her from the customer and Van wasn’t really sure what she had done to deserve that kind of level of trust. Were most people like this? Was this how she appeared to people she didn’t know? No, she was too anxious for that— she rarely let people in. “You were adopted and you got to change your name? That’s… really cool.” Maybe not the adopted part, Van thought. In a way, Van had been, too. “Eleanor is a cool name though, but Emily is nice too.” She didn’t know any Emily’s, but it was pretty anyway.

It hadn’t occurred to her that Eleanor might be serious about the whole sweater thing and she swallowed thickly. The idea of taking something from somebody she just met, again, itchy like the thought of a sweater that had too much wool. But Eleanor probably used better things than wool. “Um, I like purples and pinks, but anything is fine.” She felt terrible, suddenly— about expecting a gift from a stranger, even if she thought it had been a joke at first.

Van’s gaze wandered to the cup as Eleanor picked it up, then it lifted back to her face. “You—“ How did she know that she had upset her? Well, upset wasn’t the right word, or maybe it was. Van was uncomfortable by the idea that Eleanor was a therapist, but not because she was one, or wasn’t, in her own words, but because of what it represented; because of the story she told herself that wasn’t true. “I used to see one too.” Not anymore, Van thought, not anymore. Her mouth hung open almost comically as she tried to figure out what to say to her. “I was being weird again, wasn’t I?” Making a big deal out of nothing— letting anxiety win. “Sorry.”

Eleanor had never had a problem with sharing her adoption story, in fact it was something that she was proud of. Sometimes she wondered if she should have gone into social work until she remembered how easily she became attached to people and decided that it was probably best for her to just support the cause from afar. A donation here and there and making sure that children in the foster care system were represented in her literature were the small things she was doing to help, but she hoped that it made a difference. “My parents are pretty cool.” She’d been over the moon when given the green light for the name change because she’d always subconsciously hated the one her biological mother had given her. She didn't think it was fair that someone who hadn’t wanted her was allowed to give her the name she would carry for the rest of her life. But again, that was way too much information to share with someone she’d just met, no matter how much she liked them.

“Purples and pinks, I can definitely work with that. In fact, I think I have more pink yarn than anything so you’ll be helping me make room for some other colors. But I have to give you a disclaimer that I’m not, like, amazing at crocheting or anything, so if it’s a little off… yeah, that’s why. It’s just something I picked up a little while ago in order to keep my hands busy whenever I'm not typing away at my computer.” She would try her best but she still felt that she needed to give a warning. “And I’ll make sure that I only use the most non-itchiest yarn. This is exciting, I’m happy to have an actual project to work on instead of just granny squares!”

Why don’t you see them anymore? Eleanor had enough self restraint to keep herself from asking such an intruding question but she couldn’t stop herself from wondering. She’d wanted to stop seeing her own therapist many times but was forced to continue with their routine appointments because her family refused to let her quit. It was all part of “getting over it”, but she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to just get over her entire world being ripped to shreds. “It’s totally fine and normal to see a therapist, you shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. I’m giving therapist vibes again though, aren’t I?” She could relate to Van a lot more than most people probably could and she wanted to voice that. “Being weird and awkward and flustered are all talents that I've unfortunately picked up over the years. Don't worry about it, we’re just being weird together - maybe one day we’ll both figure out how to have ‘normal’ conversations.”

Eleanor said that her parents were pretty cool, and before Van could stop herself, she interjected with the worst personality trait she could muster. “Yeah, my parents are dead.” She stared at Eleanor for a second realizing what she said, immediately feeling bad. It was easy to make a joke out of it, but the last thing she wanted was for Eleanor to think that she was upset with her for talking about how great her parents were. She tried her best to backtrack, waving her hands in front of her. “I think it’s awesome that your parents are awesome— sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to say that.” She hoped that Eleanor wouldn’t take it to heart, and suddenly Van found herself worried that the customer would. What if she went to Rocky? No, she wouldn’t do that. Eleanor had said that she liked her. Van had to focus on that.

She wasn’t sure why she deserved somebody as kind as Eleanor coming into the shop. She hadn’t anticipated much from this conversation other than having to patiently explain that yes, they did only have four kinds of pizza. Van really hadn’t figured she’d walk out of it with the promise of something to add to her wardrobe. She couldn’t complain, even if she was a disaster and falling over her own words. “Mhm, yep, pinks and purples. Perfect.” She wanted the ground to swallow her whole— why couldn’t she just be normal? She blinked at Eleanor, silent for a moment before shaking her head. “I mean, you’re offering to like, make a sweater for somebody you’ve known what, five minutes? I could give you skateboarding lessons, but if I’m being honest it looks like you might fall and break your face.” She paused, “no offense or anything.” The hole was getting deeper. “That’s um, cool though, that you have hobbies.” She had them, too, even if she didn’t think she did. Her eyebrows knit together, “tell me more about those granny squares, I know a GILF in town that’d want to know about them.” Not that she thought Erin was a GILF, but the joke was too good to stop.

Eleanor was acting like a therapist again and Van felt like she was drowning. How was somebody so kind but made her feel so small? It didn’t make any sense. But at the same time, the brunette standing across from her made her feel appreciated, especially by the simple act of offering a sweater to her after having only ordered pizza. “Um— no, I know, I just… don’t have insurance.” She pointed at the name tag, “I work at a pizza place, and even though it’s full time, Rocky is…” She shrugged. She should have been on her parents’ insurance, but that didn’t exactly work when they were six feet under. Her grandma could have helped out there at least until she was twenty-six, but her disappearance back to New York made that impossible.

Van let out another awkward laugh, this time it was too loud for her own ears. “You’re so right, yeah, being awkward to better— or weird, I said being weird is better, right?” She averted her gaze, looked down at the pizza, and then back up at Eleanor. “Um— but yeah, yeah, thank you…” Was that the right thing to do in this case? Thank her? “For the sweater, and your um, nice words…? Thanks.”

Was there really anything she could possibly say in response? Eleanor’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to land on something that wouldn't sound insensitive. “I’m… so sorry.” She frowned and for the millionth time wished that she was better with words. Van’s immediate feelings of regret and panic confirmed what the empath had guessed: she hadn’t meant to say that. “You don’t have to talk about it, I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. Uh… I truly hope that you’re alright, that’s such a big loss to have to go through.” She had no way of knowing whether or not their passing had been recent but she knew that the grieving stage didn’t necessarily have a time limit.

Van’s panicky and awkward nature surprisingly helped Eleanor relax a little; knowing that someone else was struggling just as much as she was to communicate like a normal human being made her feel better. There was also the fact that she was genuinely enjoying her conversation, it was perhaps the most chaotic and erratic conversation she’d ever had, but she was enjoying every single moment. Whether or not the pizza was actually good was still to be determined but she knew that Sly Slice would become a regular destination.

“Like I said, I like you and I get a good vibe from you. You’re pretty great and you’ve made my pizza-ordering experience amazing.” She laughed louder than she had in a long time. “I don’t know if you’re saying that I look delicate or clumsy but I can assure you that it’s both. I have pretty good balance because I’ve been doing ballet for most of my life but actually staying on a skateboard doesn’t sound like something that would be included in my skills. But that’s amazing that you can! I’ve always been in awe of skateboarders, especially the ones who can do all of the cool tricks. I tried standing on a longboard once and ate gravel.” Eleanor bit her lip to keep from laughing aloud again. “A GILF, huh? Well, they’re pretty much just squares made of yarn, it’s a super popular project for people who are just starting out crocheting and eventually, once the person becomes a little more skilled, they can turn the granny squares into bigger projects. I know a lot of people turn theirs into quilts so the possibilities are endless.”

Eleanor’s heart dropped. She had a bad habit of wanting to take in anyone who felt alone in the world and shield them from the harsh realities of life, but she was going to restrain herself so as not to scare off Van so early into their… acquaintanceship? Friendship? She wasn’t sure what they were officially but she hoped that they would become friends. “Right, right. I’m sorry. See what I mean? I just talk without thinking sometimes. I hope that everything falls into place for you soon, it seems like the good people are always the last to get good luck.” To be completely honest she would have offered to pay for the cashier’s next therapist appointment completely out of pocket but that seemed like something someone would do if they were trying to brag about their financial status. She nodded with another kind smile. Yes, she liked Van. She would have to reach out and have another conversation with her soon, preferably away from her job that obviously caused her so much stress (which was kind of causing a headache but wasn’t unbearable).

“No, thank you!” It felt good being able to say that to someone without worrying if they would use the gratitude against her. “I was on the verge of just going hungry tonight because I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to come in here and speak with someone but I’m so glad that I did. I hope that you have an amazing rest of your night and that no assholes come through and make your job any harder. You deserve only kind words, Van. Thank you for making me laugh.”

Most people didn’t know what to say in response to something like that and Van knew it. She might not know what to say in response to Eleanor’s adoption story, or maybe she would— maybe she would identify with abandonment and the way somebody who was supposed to love her unconditionally had just left when things got too hard. She couldn’t be sure, but she didn’t want to tempt fate; didn’t want to dig a deeper hole. “I um— I didn’t mean it as anything other than a joke, sorry.” She needed to watch her mouth if she wanted to start having normal conversations with normal people. Then again, she wasn’t sure if Eleanor was a normal person, and that might be a good thing if she wasn’t. Weird was more Van’s vibe, anyway.

She wasn’t sure why Eleanor thought she was still exuding good vibes, especially with the disastrous attempt at a joke, but she wasn’t going to argue it. Not many people thought Van was a good person, or that’s what she told herself. She forced herself to smile in response to Eleanor’s compliment— forced it to stay, too, despite the ache in her chest. “Um.. you’re like, so welcome.” She was just doing her job, but then again, maybe there was something unseen with Eleanor and maybe Van had provided just what she needed. It was hard to tell. “I like to just sort of go fast.” Van made a motion with her hands, one over the other, palm sliding across palm as the opposite went shooting through the air. “Not super good at tricks, but I like to do kick flips.” Maybe she could kick flip in front of Eleanor. She paused, wondering why Eleanor would ever want that. “Ballet is like, super cool though. I know somebody who did ballet.” She thought about Ariadne briefly, and about how kind the blonde had been to her lately, all things considered (the melting).

Van nodded at the question that didn’t necessarily need an answer. “A GILF, yeah. Her name is Erin, if you meet her, let her know you have the granny squares for her.” How many Erins were in Wicked’s Rest, Van had no clue, but she didn’t bother to drop the funeral home director’s last name into the conversation, forgetting momentarily that Erin might be a common name. “But that makes sense.. about the beginning of a project thing, I mean. I just thought it’d be funny ‘cause granny— GILF, you know?” She felt dumb for thinking it was funny. Oh well. Eleanor was apologizing again and Van was struggling to understand why she deserved it. She shook her head, smile still intact, albeit a nervous one. “You don’t need to say sorry or anything, weird conversations um— they happen, and I’m like, so used to them and stuff.” Because that was one thing about her, she was always willing to make a conversation weird, either to get out of the after-mentioned conversation, or to satiate her need for subject changes. “But um, that’s really nice of you to say, anyway.” She watched Eleanor fumble with the cup, and she looked down at the plate of pizza again before looking up at the brunette. “Yeah, no— it’s sort of, I mean, yeah. Of course.” To tell Eleanor it was her job to serve pizza would do a disservice to their conversation, she realized. She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve a customer like Eleanor, but she was glad that she had walked in anyway.

#wickedswriting #writing: what it takes to be a good person #writing: vanoincidence #//CI I LOVE YOU AND VAN SM THANK YOU FOR WRITING WITH ME #parental death tw

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