Non-horny post, if you're not here for that then I totally understand, I'll have a TLDR at the bottom.
This is going to be longwinded, I get that I've got a relatively small amount of followers but I still love you all and you get a lovely flower to rest on your ear just for hearing me out.
I've been sitting on this for a couple of days, time which I've spent doing my usual things: drawing, playing grand strategy games, reading comics and listening to music. Pretty normal stuff. During that time I thought about how people seem to perceive me based on what messages I get from them.
I've had people immediately get frustrated and pissed at me for not posting nudes or sending them stuff privately. A relatively small amount of people have been sent stuff by me but only when I felt like I could trust them and that they respected me and my body. Full honesty is that I absolutely hate it, I hate that I'm over 6 feet tall, that I don't do anything about my body hair, that I'm broad shouldered. The list goes on. And it really helps to see all the positive posts that people make about body types being included within labels, it's content that I wish I had in my life from a younger age.
But I also think that brings me to my next point. I love that content so much, I really needed to see it so that I could start to accept that my larger hands aren't this defining feature that'll mean I can't be who I want to be. But it is my body. I don't need people messaging, asking to see my "pussy" and then throwing a fit when I let them know that I've got a dick and don't want to do anything with them. I don't need people disregarding what I say when I ask that they refer to my dick as a dick and not as whatever they've decided to call it. That's not you "being dominant", that's just ignoring me. You don't need to tell me that I "don't need to wear a bra" when I bring up that I'm big and don't have breasts but still wear one because it helps make me more comfortable.
Like, fuck, I've met some truly wonderful people who make me smile and recommend shows or music and treat me with more respect than I believe I deserve. But damn, I don't need to be verbally attacked because some individuals seem to have this image of what every trans person has to look like. Guess what? I'm not out here to "pass" or anything like that, I totally support anybody who has that as a goal and I genuinely wish each and every one of you the best of luck (you can have an additional flower for your ear if you'd like one) but it's just not me, I've got loads of other stuff that I'm dealing with and they are my priorities: I've had no heating in my flat for coming up three years, I've got to write statements about a colleague from a previous job, I'm trying to start a small business in my home town, I'm just trying to be me.
So, yeah, longwinded like I said but I just wanted to get my thoughts down here. And, if whoever is reading this is okay with it, I'd like to hear about your experiences of interacting with people on Tumblr, both the good and the bad, how you deal with it or just anything. Or even just tell me how your day is going or scream into the void with me about something. Because it felt good getting this out and I hope that it'd feel good for you all too.
TLDR;
I've got a dick, you don't get to decide otherwise. I'm not on HRT, I wear a bra, you don't get to tell me I don't need to. Stop throwing temper tantrums when I, or anybody else, tells you something about our body that you don't like or that doesn't fit into how you imagine people. Just fucking let people be themselves and refer to them and their bodies however they tell you, it shouldn't be difficult and it shouldn't cause you to throw a tantrum.
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had a terribly romantic nightmare where i was a corpse reanimated by sentient worms and tried to get back to my lover/best friend who regretfully killed me again at my request to release me from my torment and ensure they didn't meet the same fate. woke up feeling nauseously upset.
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Spock’s vague animosity towards chapel in tos is so much funnier now in the context of their snw relationship. Like he’s so real for that. If my girlfriend broke up with me in a very public musical number and got both my friend and my enemy to sing backup for her I’d be mad about it forever too. she’s like “I’m still in love with you” and he’s just. “hey remember that time ten years ago you did an elaborate dance in the ship’s bar to tell me that is was over between us. fuck you.”
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I find it so funny how adaptations and pop culture for Frankenstein feel the need to paint “Dr. Frankenstein” as either a batshit crazy old man or a hot mentally unstable guy in his 30s, when in reality Victor Frankenstein in the original novel is just a sickly gay autistic teenager, who does definitely not have a doctorate, written by a 17-year-old goth girl who created the genre of science fiction.
It’s just so funny to me how pop culture is just like, “yeah, Dr. Frankenstein, the ‘ooOoh my peers criticised my science but I’ll show them!’ And ‘it’s alive!’ guy.” when in reality Victor Frankenstein just shows up to class fully “uhm, achtually 🤓☝️” style, then proceeds to rant about his boyfriend best buddy and how hot and amazing he is for pages and pages and pages. What peers? His classmates who probably just know him as “oh, that one.”??? The man is a twink who dropped out of university and due to his avoidance of consequences (not his “whining”, bad character analysis, I see you) by the end he’s driven himself so far to his own demise that he’s just an absolute sopping wet cat of a man. Stop trying to age him up at the beginning or make him hotter or “more mature”, the public deserves to know this twink like we do. And please stop making the creature an inarticulate mess with literally no character to him whatsoever, give us our edgy “i just read this Bible fanfic and Satan is just like me fr” lad we know and love
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