#and I’ve just done the basic mechanics man I just realised how many mechanics are in pathological

[spoopy-moose]

I’m in the process of rewriting the pathologic system into the d20 system and I’m about to lose my mind. Ive had to simplify so many things just so that I (as a DM) don’t kms

#and I’ve just done the basic mechanics man I just realised how many mechanics are in pathological #not to mention I now have to balance items and characters and enemies #fuuuuuuuuuuuuck #pathologic #hyperfixations leads children to the worst places

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? He opted to hold her hand during the celebration of the Merc's double podium because there were too many people. "Move through the crowd while holding hands so as to not lose one another – and not letting go afterwards". Just something fluff and comfort. Add something if it's not right. Tag me later!! Thanks :)))

sorry it's so short! but I loved writing this fluff, and honestly churned it out in like 1 hour.

also if you have older requests i am working on them, I am just also working on school work.

luckily, all my assessments are nearly done, and holidays are next week so yay! more updates :)

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

toto wolff x wife!reader

“AND THAT IS A MERCEDES 1-2 TO THROW THIS CHAMPIONSHIP WIDE OPEN AT THE SAUDI ARABIAN GRAND PRIX AND 3 YEARS AFTER WINNING HIS LAST GRAND PRIX HERE, LEWIS HAMILTON HAS WON HIS 104TH CAREER VICTORY AND WHAT A WAY TO DO IT IN HIS LAST SEASON WITH MERCEDES.”

The rest of Crofty’s speech was drowned out by the cheers of the garage around Y/N as the team who had gone so long without winning, especially Lewis’ side of the garage cheered and yelled and as the pit mechanics came back from where they’d been on the fence yelling and contributed to more noise.

Y/N felt a little overwhelmed. She hadn’t really been in the garage since 2021, due to her husband’s tensions during the year and her wish to continue to just focus on her own career. She tried to insist she was the team’s bad luck charm after Abu Dhabi, until people had pointed out that she’d also been there during the dominant 2020 season. And as she had spent 2022 and 2023, which also were not great years for Mercedes, she’d agreed to do a lot more of her work remotely and come to the grand prixs. She insisted that she was bad luck at the first grand prix, and Toto had basically dragged her along to Saudi.

Maybe she was their good luck charm, she thought, as the garage exploded when Max and Sergio had crashed into each other, making both the red bulls retire. The Ferrari’s had been having problems all weekend but no one truly hoped even when they were sitting in a 1-2.

At least until they’d crossed the line. And then they’d had hope. And then the celebrations had begun. Someone had already found champagne and begun spraying it around, no one thinking about the podium, until all of a sudden everyone was and they were all rushing around and Y/N was all caught up in the rush and being pushed around by everyone, trying to find Toto until she felt a hand slip into hers.

She jumped back, not wanting some strange man holding her hand until she looked up and realised that it was in fact her husband who was trying to hold her hand.

“Sorry…didn’t realise it was you.”

“That’s okay Liebe. I’ve got you. Now lets go watch Lewis on the podium, okay?”

The second she nodded in agreement, Toto slipped his hand back into Y/N’s as he tried to push through the crowd again. Being tall and the team principal helped, and as they weren't coming for the pre podium celebrations, which is where everyone else was rushing towards. As the drivers were hugged and yelled at again by the mechanics (honestly how were they going to have voices tomorrow, and how were the red bull mechanics’ voices not very raspy after doing this practically every week for the past few years). Y/N thought she was going to have to cancel her meetings for the next few weeks as she would just be unable to talk.

Toto pushed through the throng of mechanics, pushing through the Mercedes and Williams colours everywhere, trying to get a good position at the front, and then the announcers began, and Toto and Y/N were wedged against the barrier and they decided to stop and watch the podium.

Y/N watched as Albon mounted the podium, grinning to the feral screams of the Williams mechanics to her left. She’d ended up wedged between James and Toto, smiling at James’ excitement on Alex being on the podium. She smiled at him as the noise from the Williams side of the podium celebration. He smiled back, almost bouncing up and down by the excitement of what Williams was achieving. And as Lewis, George and Bono bounded onto the podium, bringing up a round of screaming and even Y/N raised her hands. And as she raised her right hand, she could feel Toto’s hand, still intertwined with hers. She smiled, locking eyes with Toto.

His eyes twinkled as he smiled down, before his attention was brought back to the podium and yelling at the drivers.

The German and British anthems blared out, and while Y/N knew most of the words of the British anthem (it was mostly just the same words on repeat ‘god save our king’). And while Toto was able to sing the German anthem while Y/N butchered it here and there. She loved listening to her husband singing or talking in his natural language. It was very hot, if Y/N had to admit it.

As they left the podium to go back to the garage, Toto had still not let go of her hand as they continued winding between what felt like millions of people crowding the pit lane.

When they finally returned to the Mercedes garage, and walked up to Toto’s office, Toto finally let go of Y/N’s hand and started to gather up his work and laptop to get ready to return to the hotel.

“Hey, toto?”

“Yes liebe?”

“Why were you holding my hand?”

“Well, I didn’t want to get lost, and I didn’t want you to get lost, liebe.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t you let go of my hand when we got to the podium”

“Do I need an excuse to hold your hand, darling?”

“No but…”

“Then I kept holding your hand because I wanted to keep holding your hand. Is that a good enough excuse?”

“Okay Liebe.”

Toto put all his files and laptop in his left hand after shrugging on his overcoat, and then offered his right hand to Y/N.

“Can I keep holding your hand liebe?”

“Of course you can darling.”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3

#f1 x reader #miloformula123fan #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fic #toto wolff #toto wolff x female reader #toto wolff x you #toto wolff x y/n

[necr0bvnny]

Nuclear Fusion - Chapter 1

Pairing: Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus x Original Female Character

Genres: Action, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, From Nobody to Nightmare, Mad Scientist(s)

Content/Warnings: Fluff, First Meetings

Summary:

Dr. Kali Kavanah, a timid woman with a genius intellect, works as the head biochemist at Oscorp Industries. Her sheltered life changes when Norman Osborn assigns her to create a special formula for him with the help of Dr. Otto Octavius. What follows is a rollercoaster of romance, betrayal, and their descent into villainy.

A/N: Hi there!! This series will basically be both a Doc Ock x OC fic and the origin story for my Spider-Man villain OC! I’ll be making art for some of the chapters (plus art for my Spider-verse in general) and adding content warnings to certain ones because I do plan for this story to get graphic at times. I hope you all enjoy!! 😊💚

Link to AO3 post

————

“Do I feel happy in life? Um.. Let’s see. Well, I do hope I’m finding happiness. For me, if I can realise certain things in my work, I come the closest to being happy and I can say that also about my life. It only happens in moments, sometimes when I'm working and I’ll be able to fulfill a project successfully and then I think I'm the happiest. While I find it very stimulating to keep studying and working, I'm not just generally happy. If I'm generally anything I'd say I’m generally miserable, hehe!”

The white mice stared up curiously at Kali as she spoke to them in a tranquil tone. Of course, they said nothing back. She liked to pretend that they did though.

“.... I don't know.” She sighed.

Kali tended to work with animals more than people now ever since being promoted to head scientist. This was both a blessing and a curse however. She loved the animals dearly and valued them as lab partners, but nothing could beat real human interaction. While she was forever grateful to be given her position after years of hard work, she wished her boss would be a little more kind. Just because she has the brain power to complete every project he throws at her doesn't mean she should be doing it all alone. But she guessed this was his way of keeping her on her toes.

She lifted one of the mice up to her shoulder and rewarded it with a small piece of an apple that she had been eating, then made sure to give the others in the glass terrarium a few slices to share as well. Nobody went hungry in Dr. Kavanah's lab.

With her test subjects fed, she picked up the cage and walked to return them with the other animals. Within a few minutes Kali was back at her lab.

Upon entering, she was surprised to see her boss standing in the middle of the room waiting for her to return. Norman Osborn, CEO of Oscorp. Wearing a dark green suit so clean that it looked as though it was bought that morning, he stood tall and proud while opening a briefcase up on one of the tables.

"Good news, Kali. I have a new project to keep you busy." He handed her a document which she immediately opened with glee and began speed-reading the first page.

"Thank you, sir! What did you have in mind?"

"I’ve just struck up a deal with a veterinary pharmaceutical company. I was hoping you can create a sort of.. animal steroid for me. All of the effects they want to see are written down for you to go over later.”

Kali closed the documents and sat them down on the closest work table, sensing that that wasn’t all Norman had to say. “Of course, sir. I’ll begin as soon as possible.”

“There is one more thing you must know about this project. The company has requested that we use some benign radioactive ingredients in the formula. Seeing as how your specialty is biochemistry, I’ve hired you a lab partner that can help you with the more sensitive materials you'll be handling."

Turning around to face the entrance, Norman then half-shouted, "Come on in."

Suddenly all of Kali's attention was on the new company entering the lab. In walked Dr. Otto Octavius, head scientist at the U.S Atomic Research Center. She felt her heart get caught in her throat as he came right up to her and offered his hand with a smile.

"Good evening, Dr. Kavanah. It's a pleasure to be working with you."

"Oh, it is an honor, Dr. Octavius! I've read nearly all of your articles and interviews."

"Please, we're going to be working together for quite a while. Just call me Otto."

"Yes, sir! I-I mean Otto.. " After realizing she was still shaking his hand, she awkwardly let go, earning a quiet chuckle from him.

"Well, now that I have you two geniuses together I should be off. Good luck." With that, Osborn was out the door before anyone could respond.

"Please, make yourself at home! The office and bathroom are that way," Kali pointed to the door and window at the far right of the laboratory.

"Ah, thank you, dear. I'll be back shortly."

Otto walked off into the office and shut the door behind him, though she couldn't see what he was doing as the window had it's blinds drawn.

Kali stood alone in the middle of the lab, still trying to process everything that was happening. She couldn't believe it. Otto Octavius himself was going to be working with her, her of all people! She had seen him in person before but only from afar at a science convention a few years ago. At that time he was first introducing the world to the concept of his masterpiece, the four-armed apparatus that he used for handling nuclear material. He had since finished it but she had only seen it in pictures. She wondered for a moment if he was going to be bringing it to her lab, and the excitement at the idea forced a little squeal out of her.

Soon enough Dr. Octavius finally exited the office holding a magazine and chuckling to himself. Once he was back in front of Kali, he showed the front cover of it to her to reveal an image of himself standing proudly in front of a mechanical arm displayed on the table behind him. Kali's cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"I see you weren't lying about being a fan. I'm guessing you may know me better as 'Doctor Octopus' as my coworkers have grown fond of calling me."

"No, sir. I believe name calling like that is a petty tactic used by the weak-minded to undermine those they don't understand."

Otto smiled wider at her words.

"Y'know, I've done my own fair share of reading about you as well. Your work is nothing short of brilliance."

Kali perked up a bit at his compliment, her cheeks burning for a different reason now. "Really?"

"Of course! I've been meaning to get in touch with you even before Osborn hired me. Seeing as how we have some free time at the moment, I'd like to get to know you better if that's alright? We are lab partners now after all."

He pulled up two chairs, sitting down in one and offering the other one to her. Kali sat down across from him with an awkward smile and thanked him.

"Um, well… I don't know what to say, hehe. I suppose you can ask me anything you're curious about!"

Kali couldn't remember the last time she had sat down with someone and talked back and forth for who knows how long, laughing and simply enjoying each other's presence. Otto asked her many questions about herself, though none too personal. Everything he wanted to know about her seemed to be trivial, things such as 'how do you like your tea?' and 'do you have any pets?'. Things Kali didn't think anyone would ever care to know about her. And yet here he was, wanting to know and seeming fully invested as she spoke about herself.

Hours passed and eventually Otto checked his watch, realizing that it was time to go home. Kali was genuinely surprised, as it only felt like minutes had gone by. As they said their goodbyes for the night, her world seemed to fade back to grey as he left the laboratory. But knowing she would see him again the next day brought a toothy smile back to her face. Moving into the office, she fell back onto the couch on the right side of the room and let out a joyous sigh. Rats may have been adorable companions, but they couldn't ask you how your day was or flash you a genuine, debonair smile like Otto could.

Her heart swelled within her chest as she spent the rest of the night thinking about her new friend.

#doctor octopus #doc ock #otto octavius #doctor octopus x oc #doc ock x oc #otto octavius x oc #original female character #spiderman #spider man #nuclear fusion #mamas babies #kali kavanah #my post #norman osborn #green goblin #spiderman oc #marvel original character

[mimosaeyes]

Post-176. Jon, Martin, and Basira regroup before continuing the search for Daisy. (Or: everyone is allowed to feel their feelings.) 2.1k, hurt/comfort.

I wrote a few lines of this fic after listening to the episode, but I wasn't going to finish it until I read @dathen's post about how 176 is basically "emotionally repress or die". Then I thought, oh wait, do people actually want the self-indulgent emotional catharsis? So, with @emberidzae's enabling and beta-ing, here we are.

It takes Martin longer than it should to realise that Basira is leading them out of the domain, not farther into it. Because of the way she’d begun hurrying them along, he assumed they were only a few steps behind Daisy, about to catch up with her at any moment.

Instead, the trees begin to thin out around them. Soon there’s enough space between the trunks to render them ineffective camouflage, and Martin stops feeling the urge to check his surroundings for the silhouettes of wolves waiting in ambush. There’s still a tight feeling in his throat, but at least the prickle on the back of his neck has disappeared.

He can still feel where Trevor had pressed the knife, the sharp edge of it right up against his jugular. The man’s voice had been shaking, but never his hand. No, that had been Martin’s own pulse, throbbing sickeningly beneath the blade and rushing loud in his ears.

Lost in the memory, Martin doesn’t notice the root sticking out of the ground until he’s already tripping over it. He has a split-second to think how stupid that is, how this has probably been the downfall of many people being chased by the Hunt — then his elbow is snagged by a familiar, scarred hand.

Jon doesn’t spare him a glance even as he releases his arm to clasp Martin’s hand instead. He just pulls him along, his pace brisk but not overtly hurried by fear or panic. Martin falls into step beside him, gradually regaining his rhythm and composure.

When they finally stumble into open space, Martin senses the difference at once. It’s not that he instantly relaxes; all things considered, he’d managed to remain relatively unfazed. But suddenly it takes much less effort to breathe normally. Suddenly, tension he hadn’t been aware of dissipates from his shoulders and chest.

He looks up to find Basira watching him closely. “Good job,” she says, making no effort to deny her scrutiny. “You’ll need full control over your emotions if you’re planning on following me back in there.”

Ah. There’s the rub. Of course they’re not done with this domain yet; this is only a pit-stop for Basira to make sure she hasn’t taken on liabilities.

“So you’re sure Daisy’s here?” Martin asks, managing to sound far more businesslike than he really feels about the thought of returning to the forest. “You’ve seen her?”

A muscle jumps in Basira’s cheek. Not quite a flinch, but the shadow of one. “I’m sure.”

She turns away from them and starts fiddling with her gun, checking the mechanism even though it had clearly worked fine on Trevor. Perhaps she wants a reason to keep her hands busy. Perhaps she wants to hide her face.

Martin leaves her to it and turns to Jon. He’s about to say something at random, anything to afford Basira the illusion of privacy, but the words die on his lips as Jon lets go of his hand and throws his arms around Martin.

He’s hugging back before he has time to fully register what’s happening. “Jon?” His voice squeaks from how tightly Jon is squeezing. “What’s wrong?”

Jon mumbles something against the crook of his neck. He can’t quite make out what it is. He catches sorry and couldn’t and so scared. Jon is trembling, he realises. It makes his heart lurch. He rubs a hand over his back in what he hopes is a soothing way.

After a long moment, Jon pulls back, gripping his arm with one hand while the other goes to the side of Martin’s face. “Are you alright?” he asks. “Are you hurt?”

Martin shakes his head. “I, I don’t think so.” But Jon checks anyway, running his fingers lightly over his neck to check for the smallest nick. Martin shivers at the gentle touch.

Then Jon tugs his long sleeve down over his knuckles and starts dabbing at Martin’s cheek and chin, which is when it hits Martin that the damp feeling there isn’t nervous sweat, but the spray of Trevor’s blood from the gunshot that had killed him.

He reels away from Jon — or he tries to, but Jon holds him steady. “Don’t look,” he says softly. “It’s okay, just look at me. It’s okay.” There’s something quietly insistent in his tone that makes Martin go still. Let me do this for you, it seems to say. Let me spare you this.

So he does. Instead of thinking about what happened, instead of peering at the red on Jon’s sleeve in his peripheral vision, Martin watches his face. Part of him is braced for the slightest wrinkling of his nose, indicating revulsion at his task. Mostly, he expects to see regret. They’d come to this domain hoping to find their friends and save Daisy, and instead another person has died because of them. It had happened indirectly, in that Basira had been the one to pull the trigger, but Jon had engineered the situation and Martin had participated in it, and... and it feels different, like this. Martin’s been calling it smiting when Jon turns the Ceaseless Watcher on an avatar, vaporising them. But there was nothing righteous about this, nothing neat and sterile. There is only the visceral, ignominious reality of a body left on the ground, and some of the gore still smeared over Martin’s skin.

Yet he looks, and finds only tenderness in Jon’s expression. All throughout the encounter with Trevor, he had kept his face impassive, his voice calm and in control. Only now is Martin seeing the depth of his fear for him.

Jon finishes cleaning off the blood and without further ado, rips the end of his sleeve off entirely, stuffing it in a pocket so it’s out of sight.

Half-jokingly, Martin laments, “Aww. I liked that shirt.” It’s one of his own, hence the excessively long sleeves on Jon. He’d stolen it a few days into their stay in the safehouse. Martin had teased him about it at the time, but never really minded.

“I’m sorry,” Jon says sombrely. Martin’s about to clarify that he was kidding, but then Jon continues, “I thought Trevor would go for me. I was nearly sure of it, else I would’ve told you more. I thought the worst I was asking of you was to stay calm while he threatened me, and you know nothing can really hurt me, so.”

“It’s alright,” Martin tells him. “I mean, it’s not alright, obviously; that was messed up to have to go through, but.” He offers him a slightly lopsided smile. “I trust you.”

Jon doesn’t return the smile, though. He just looks preoccupied; cagey. Like before, like he’s not telling him something. Martin frowns. “Why did you think he’d pick you? You’re not exactly without defences.” He glances pointedly at the eyes staring down at them from the sky.

“Because...” Jon sighs, shrugs, runs one hand roughly through his hair. “Because I’m the one who’d be prey in this domain. Fear of your friends turning on you? After Jane Prentiss, I staked out Tim’s house, I went through the belongings you’d left at the Institute. I was so easily made to feel paranoid, to dread betrayal. Besides—” He cuts himself off abruptly.

Martin narrows his eyes in suspicion. “What?”

Jon hesitates, reluctant. “And, well. Trevor’s a monster hunter.” 

He seems about to elaborate, but then just makes a vague gesture, encompassing all of himself.

“Oh, Jon...” 

But before Martin can tell him he’s not a monster, smack him, or possibly pull him in for another hug, Basira interjects. “You two do know I can still hear you, right? Honestly, you have definitely been wandering around with no other company for too long.”

Startled and sheepish, they both turn to her. She’s re-holstered her gun and is smirking at them with one hand on her hip. Martin sees the moment when her mirth reverts to steely resolve. “Enough blubbering. Daisy’s after Trevor. If we want to catch her here, we’ll have to move fast. Are you coming with, and can you handle yourselves?”

“Of course,” Jon replies, nodding and stepping out of Martin’s embrace. “Let’s go.”

Even though Martin hadn’t been around at the time, he imagines this is exactly how it went before these two ran off to Ny-Ålesund together. “Wait! Do you even have a plan?”

“Find Daisy,” Jon and Basira say in unison.

Martin resists the urge to slap his forehead. “And then what?” he asks, softening his tone from exasperated to reasonable. He addresses Basira specifically: “You promised to kill Daisy. Is that your first option, or do you have another plan?”

Judging from the way she stiffens ever so slightly at the word kill, there’s at least some doubt in her mind. Basira glances at Jon. “You wouldn’t happen to have any convenient Beholding powers to get through to her, would you?”

Jon winces. “We need a key to a lock in this situation, and I have... the equivalent of a nuclear warhead.”

Basira stares. “I don’t even want to know.”

“What about how we’re finding her, then?” Martin wonders aloud, hastily changing the topic. “If Trevor’s, uh, no longer with us, then we don’t have anyone to follow. Unless we can find Daisy’s tracks.”

“Unlikely,” Basira says. “She’s too good a Hunter to be hunted herself. I’ve been relying on Trevor, mostly.”

“So why’d you kill him?” Martin asks thoughtlessly.

Almost before he’s finished the sentence, he anticipates Basira’s raised eyebrow and sarcastic, “He had you at knifepoint. You’re welcome.”

“And the other reason?” Jon asks quietly.

Immediately, Basira snaps, “Don’t compel me. Do not look in my head.”

“I didn’t, and I won’t,” Jon says, holding up both hands placatingly. He’s telling the truth; there had been no telltale buzz of static. “But you could have shot him without killing him. You could have lamed him and waited for Daisy to come end it. So I know there’s another reason.”

Basira is glaring askance, but Martin can still feel the ferocity of that look. Then, haltingly but with more sincerity than he would have expected, she actually answers. “I found Julia’s body. Trevor is older than her, slower. Which means Daisy let him go on purpose. She — she’s relishing this too much. Trying to prolong the chase. I could’ve kept it going. Could’ve followed him for days, or what used to be days. But the longer that goes on, the longer she gets to toy with him... the less likely she comes back to me as Daisy. So. It’s better this way, with his blood on my hands.”

She takes a deep breath. Then she punches Jon in the arm — not hard, but not very lightly either. “I blame you for all this touchy-feely stuff. It must be contagious.”

Jon has the cheek to smugly say, “You’re welcome.”

Martin barely hears it, though. Basira’s words are echoing through his mind: his blood on my hands, his blood on my hands.

“I know how we can find Daisy,” he says. “Jon. That strip of sleeve? Give it to Basira.”

To Basira’s credit, she barely reacts as Jon uneasily extracts the bloodied cloth from his pocket and helps her tie it around one wrist. “This is Trevor’s blood?” is all she says.

“And now it also smells like me, Jon, and you.” Martin’s eyes flick briefly to the forest. “Daisy might’ve already found Trevor’s body. She’ll be looking for something else worth hunting.”

“It could work,” Jon says slowly. Martin doesn’t miss the worried look he gives him.

Basira holds her arm aloft on the breeze for a few seconds, letting the wind carry the scent into the trees. “Are you sure about this?” she asks them both. “You do understand that we’re making ourselves bait.”

The forest looms before them. Does it look darker than before? It never gets any later in the apocalypse, so it must be his imagination. Or his mind, already being drawn into the mentality of prey. Martin gulps. He tries to sound confident about his plan as he says, “The best bait is friendship?”

“Now I know why we never hung out,” Basira tells him, but without much heat. 

As they begin walking, Martin reaches for Jon’s hand. “Hey,” he says quietly. “It’ll be okay. We’ve got this.”

There’s a flicker of recognition in Jon’s eyes. “Apparently so,” he murmurs, giving Martin’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

They hold on for a couple more seconds while ignoring Basira’s eye-roll. Then Martin lets go and sets about pulling his emotions into order. They only want one wolf to come after them. 

At the edge of the forest, Basira checks her gun in its holster, glances at Jon and Martin in turn. Then she raises her arm again. “Alright, Daisy,” she murmurs, more to herself than to them. “Hunt this. Hunt me.”

[also available on AO3 here]

[my TMA fic on AO3]

#the magnus archives #jonmartin #dasira #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #basira hussain #mimofic

[blacknailpolishonguitarstrings]

I can't lose anyone else

TW: mention of death/loss + panic attack

A tall elderly woman in a long brown wool coat walked down London’s gray streets, wrinkled cheeks pink in the fresh morning air. Heads turned as she passed, eyes staring after her. While she was certainly a beautiful woman, there was nothing incredibly special about her or her clothes, but she radiated a regal aura, almost...magical. Her face was impassive though unreadable, and she seemed oblivious to the awe she induced in others. Minerva was simply too grief-struck and numb to notice. She walked rapidly, hands hid deeply in her pockets, strides long and unwavering, turning around corners, swerving left and right between the throng of Londoners going to work, still unaware of the hiss of tires on the wet asphalt as people turned around to look back at her.

Somewhere between the thousands of irregular footsteps hammering the pavements, the last drops of rain dripping from the roofs and sliding off the tiles, the honks of cars, and the hushed mix of words and languages and conversations rising from the crowd, the haunting notes of a musical partition escaped a lone violin. It came from a young man, with long dark brown almost black hair, clad in black leather, a red scarf wrapped around his neck, and sparkling, youthful blue eyes full of hope. He stood under a porch, the wooden instrument resting on his shoulder under his chin. Minerva locked eyes with the musician and smiled. It was a soft, gentle smile, full of magic and kindness. It was probably the warmest smile the young man had ever seen. Despite that, he had no idea, no way of knowing, that when she turned away and disappeared amongst the sea of unknown faces, her eyes were full of tears and her heart clenched a little tighter in pain. A single thought flashed in her mind through the haze of desolation:

“He looks so much like Sirius.”

***

The building wasn’t particularly remarkable, it looked rather shabby in fact. The dull blue-gray paint was crackled and dirty in some spots, white-framed glass windows detaching themselves on it. The only splash of colours were the bright multi-coloured curtains weaving in the light breeze through the windows on the fourth floor. Minerva took a small piece of parchment out of her pocket, unfolding it.

“13, Athlone Street, London”, it read.

It was the right address. Sucking in a nervous breath, she looked left and right before taking her wand out of her sleeve.

“Alohomora,” she whispered, pointing her wand at the door.

A faint trickle of magic leaked out of its tip, slipping into the lock, gliding between the whirring cogs of the intricate mechanism, unlocking it with a small click. She smiled, satisfied. It was a very simple spell, one she could have easily executed without a wand, but the familiar weight of it in her hand was reassuring, and knowing all of her spell-work was flawless, from the basics to the most complicated skills, still filled her with childish pride and delight.

Minerva pushed the door open and found herself in front of an old, wooden staircase that appeared quite fragile and rickety. Some parts of the wood were chipped away at, splinters sticking out here and there, and others had begun to rot, filling the air with an unpleasant musty smell. Carefully, she went up the stairs, passing locked door after locked door. Finally, on the fourth floor, a single door offered itself to her eyes. It was painted bright red and a rainbow doormat lay in front of it. She knocked. It creaked open, and a tall, slim, young man dressed in a large knitted cardigan appeared. Remus Lupin. The last Marauder.

She observed him carefully: he looked exhausted, dark rings circling his honey-brown eyes speckled with green. He was very pale, and his hair had lost its golden shine, grown longer, ends1 split. He had also lost weight, his shoulders appeared bonier than ever, protruding in sharp angles under the wool, and his cheekbones stuck out harshly, giving his usually soft face a hard, cold air.

“Professor McGonagall! I can’t say I was expecting any visit, especially not at such an early hour. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He greeted her, smiling weakly.

“Merlin, Remus, how many times do I have to ask you to quit calling me “Professor” and just use Minerva?” She replied, rolling her eyes, falsely lighthearted.

“At least a hundred more, Professor,” chuckled Remus.

“Once a Marauder, always a Marauder, constantly doing it your own way,” she observed, sounding almost amused. “Anyhow, there are some…matters I wish to discuss with you. May I come in?”

“Of course, sorry,” he answered bashfully, stepping aside and letting her in, leading her through to the living room. “Would you like some tea?”

“That is a very kind offer I will gladly accept.”

She sat down on the couch, folding her hands in her lap, back straight, waiting, apprehensive, while Remus disappeared in the kitchen. In front of her, one of those new, fancy muggle boxes which showed moving pictures and emitted sounds rested on a low table.

“Televisions,” she remembered they were called.

Next to it, a record player stood proudly, surrounded by boxes upon boxes full of vinyl discs protected by their colourful thin cardboard covers. Books lay strewn everywhere, some askew in shelves, others stacked on one another on the floor. Patchwork quilts were neatly folded over an armchair, and a couple of sketchpads peeked out between the books here and there. A vase full of half-dead red tulips, Sirius’ favourite flowers, of course, ruled over the coffee table on which stood an empty coffee mug. But what captured Minerva’s attention above everything else were the framed pictures which hung by the dozens on the walls, occupying every available centimetre. There were traditional muggle photographs, still and unmoving, but there were also wizard-moving pictures. Most of the time, they showed Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter, occasionally joined by Lily, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, Molly, Arthur, Frank, and other friends from Hogwarts. There were photos of them in the Gryffindor Common Room, others in Hogwarts’ hallways, others on the Quidditch Pitch, others near the Black Lake, some in their dorm room, and a couple from Hogsmeade. There were a few photos of Remus with his family at home and by the sea, and one of Sirius and Euphemia and Fleamont Potter. And, there was also a series of neatly ordered photographs, seven in total, hung up one above the other, displaying the Marauders in the Transfiguration classroom. She knew them all too well. She had taken those, every year, at the end of the last term, exactly an hour before the Hogwarts Express would depart. Minerva had watched these boys grow, year after year, become adults, and now…two of them were dead along with one of her favourite students, one of them was in prison, and only one remained.

“I apologize for the mess, I only arrived a couple of hours ago and Sirius seems unable to maintain any order in our apartment without me,” said Remus, interrupting her thoughts, handing her a steaming mug of tea.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, taking a sip.

“I found a box of biscuits, feel free to help yourself,” he added, gesturing to the metal tin he had brought with him in which lay golden-yellow butter biscuits. “So, what did you need to speak of so urgently?”

“I…,” she hesitated. “Have you read the news from the Wizarding World recently, Remus?”

“No, I had none available where I was and today’s newspaper hasn’t arrived yet. Why? Did something happen?”

“Merlin, I am so, so sorry, my dear boy, but—“

A sudden sob broke through her words.

“Professor,” gasped Remus worriedly. “Are you all right? Should I get you a tissue or something?”

“N-no,” she cried, “stay.”

She sighed deeply, dejected, before attempting to deliver the dreadful news again.

“I—“

“Minerva,” interrupted Remus, “while I am dreading whatever you must tell me, I need to hear it. It’s fine, I have been through a lot, I can handle it, I’ll be all right.”

“James, Lily, and Peter are dead, Sirius is in Azkaban,” she blurted out, burning tears sliding down her cheeks.

“What?”

Looking at him compassionately, Minerva took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice, and began recounting the events from the start. Remus listened wordlessly, staring at her in dumbfounded shock.

“No,” he whispered, as soon as she finished. “No, this isn’t possible, Sirius would never murder James and Lily. No, I refuse to believe this…”

He shook his head violently as she sat quietly, waiting for the outburst.

“No,” repeated Remus with more conviction. “Tell me the truth, Professor, what actually happened?”

“That is the truth, I am so sorry,” she replied softly.

“TELL ME THE BLOODY TRUTH!” He roared, standing up.

His teacup fell out of his hand, shattering on the floor. Fragments of china flew everywhere, peppering the floor and sofa. A small piece grazed Minerva’s hand, scratching her pale skin. A few droplets of scarlet blood oozed out of the thin wound. Remus looked around as if suddenly realising what he had done, and sat back down abruptly, burying his face in his hands.

“This can’t have happened, I know Sirius, I’ve known him for almost 10 years now, the man I love would never murder his best friends in cold blood, he simply isn’t capable of that. Please, tell me the truth,” he begged desperately.

At that moment, he appeared so fragile, so weak. It was almost as if he would break into a million pieces if anything so much as a light breeze would blow over him. He shook and shivered, every limb trembling brutally, as his breath quickened drastically. Sensing the impending panic attack, Minerva put her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to face her, gripping him tightly.

“Remus, look at me,” she whispered soothingly.

He did not react, staring blankly past her before shutting his eyes tightly as he began to suffocate, panting heavily.

“Remus look at me, I’m here,” she repeated, harsher this time. “REMUS LOOK AT ME!”

It was as if something inside him had switched off as if his consciousness wasn’t there any longer. At loss, she took out her wand, pressing it against his temple, and said:

“Spiritus remedium!”

A warm wight light briefly illuminated the room. Remus opened his eyes, his frantic breathing slowly regaining its normal pace.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

“Of course, my dear. Do you…want to talk about it?” She asked, looking at him concernedly/

“No…thank you but no. I just need some time for myself right now, be alone for a while, understand, and come to terms with whatever this is,” he replied, turning away.

“Remus,” she began hesitatingly, putting a warm hand on his shoulder. “I know we haven’t exactly been very close lately or spent a lot of time together, after all, you did know me as your teacher for most of your life. Nevertheless, it is precisely because of that that I’m concerned about you. I’ve watched you grow into the wonderful young man you are now, and…I just can’t lose anyone else, not you.”

He met her gaze glistening with tears, and a look of understanding passed between them. They both knew what was at stake here, and they both knew they probably wouldn’t survive any more loss. In some ways, they only had each other left now. Student and mentor. Friends. To some extent, mother and son. No, they definitely could not lose anyone else, especially not each other.

“Take care, Remus,” said Minerva finally standing up, wrapping herself in her coat.

“You too, Minerva.”

She left the colourful apartment and all its pictures and former happiness behind, disappearing in London’s grey streets, just another nameless human being. This time, heads did not turn as she passed, or maybe they did but she never even fathomed it, as all she thought of was the funeral.

#angst #fanfiction #Harry Potter fanfic #marauders fanfiction #marauders angst #remus lupin #minerva mcgonagall

[kuroopaisen]

manager matchup #1 ♡

@haikyuu-ink yuki darling! thank you so much for your kind words :( i hope you like this! i think i might surprise you a bit with the choices i've made? (when you had your little shipping thing going the guy i chose wasn’t mentioned, and you didn’t list him in your self-ship either so now i’m WORRIED) but i kept thinking it over and over, and i kept changing my mind.

ANYWAY on with the matchup!

school: shiratorizawa year: 3rd

it's the beginning of your second year when tendou approaches you. you're confused at first; but a few minutes of conversation make his intentions very clear. he really, really wants a team manager. and heretofore, he's been unsuccessful. you can't help but wonder how many girls he's asked at this point, but he's still making his pitch. and you're listening to him, but you're also thinking "hm,,, it could be good for my college applications,,, we've got a very good team here,,, it's not a terrible idea."

so, you say, "okay, sure." tendou doesn't quite believe you at first (he keeps asking you to repeat that), but that afternoon you're standing in the gym and you're like "what have i done." washijo's a bit confused about your presence (and you wonder if tendou has even spoken to him about this), but he lets you stick around. half the team is just as confused as to why you're there, and the other half is excited that they've finally got a female manager.

but, your responsible nature quickly endeared you to both the team and the coaches! before long, you've become an invaluable part of the team, and some of them have convinced themselves that they’d fall apart without you there (it’s goshiki. goshiki’s convinced they’ll fall apart without you--)

your team ♡

ushijima wakatoshi

✧ truth be told, you were probably intimidated as all hell when you first met him. he's massive, and he's blunt, and he's not exactly known for having great people skills. i know i'd be terrified of him at first! but, because he's so,,, straightforward, it's surprisingly easy to get along with him (so long as you're not expecting him to be something he's not)?

✧ he appreciates how responsible you are as a manager, even if he doesn't really say it all that often. admittedly, he didn't see much need for a manager, at first. were they not doing well enough without one? but, he's wise enough to notice the good effect that you have on the team. and, he appreciates your time-management skills. after all, you're not going to get an effective amount of practice if you don't have a good schedule.

✧ it took him a while to fully warm up to you simply because of his personality (and he's just,,, not the sort to reach out and try to cover that gulf with someone, you know?), and you have no idea what to try and bond with him over. but, you both don't like feeling fragile slkjdf

✧ funnily enough, the moment that you and toshi truly bonded was during the first few months of your third year, where things were really and truly beginning to get stressful. you, personally, were at a tipping point: college applications, prepping for exams already, varsity commitments, the volleyball club,,, frankly, it was all too much

✧ and that's when toshi finds you crying in the store room. he'd been practicing late (as he often did), when he hears your gentle sobs. he doesn't quite know what to do, because he's never really dealt with this kind of thing before. but, he just,,, sits with you. and he asks you what's wrong. and he lets you vent.

✧ he doesn't really say anything, because he's not equipped to. but, he's just there.

✧ after that, you're a little closer. he makes sure to ask you how you're feeling that day (to the surprise of much of the team ljds), and he pays particular attention during exam periods. it's only something small, and he always asks with that monotone voice of his, but it's enough to make you feel all soft.

✧ you don't spend any significant amount of time together outside of club activities, but when you do, people are terrified. the star of the volleyball team and an honours/varsity student? both with resting bitch faces? there are certainly some 'power couple' rumours going around about the two of you, but you don't let it get to you (even if it bothers a certain team member, but we'll get to that--)

✧ okay but a cute little headcanon,,, because he's the star of the team, you feel obligated to include him on any posters and such that you design (and, also because the coaches are adamant that featuring ushijima will draw the most attention). but,,, the man's deeply unphotogenic. like. every time you try and get a good shot it just looks a bit off. even if you take an action shot of him spiking. you're not sure how he manages it, and he doesn't quite get it when you try and explain it to him. tendou thinks it's hilarious dflkjdf

tendou satori

✧ tendou quickly becomes one of your best friends, both on the team and outside of it. As the person who recruited you, he feels personally responsible for your well-being (and for helping you integrate into the team smoothly). it's hard not to be endeared by that, especially when he's constantly checking in with you to make sure you're doing okay. and that's a habit that carries well into your third year.

✧ he appreciates the fact that you offer all the boys a shoulder, and he's grateful for how much you give them. he knows it mustn't be easy, tending to the needs of a large group of young men (and shiratorizawa has a large team), and he's always reminding you to look after yourself.

✧ he's excellent at reading people, and he's always there to support you whenever you're at tipping point. he’s not great at being vulnerable, per say, but he knows how to try and lift a mood. 

✧ oh, please share your writing with him, he'd be delighted to read it! especially if you ever venture into more fantastical genres. he's very supportive, and he's good at giving constructive feedback while also being an enthusiastic reader.

✧ i feel like you end up keeping him in check a bit? he strikes me as someone who’s prone to procrastinating, and being terrible at organising their time, so you’ll have to kick his ass into gear from time to time. he appreciates it, even if he’s always teasing you for being a such a model student

✧ like ushijima, i don’t think he’s all that great at being vulnerable? he seems like he’s got some walls that are harder to break down, as they’re some kind of defence mechanism. that being said, should he need to vent, he knows he can come to you.

✧ honestly, i think that quiet affection is a staple of your friendship; you’re more active in showing each other that you care, and demonstrating your support through your actions. you’re big on roasting one another (tendou’s very good at it hh), but you know you’ve always got each other’s backs.

✧ oh but he gets so sad if you snap at him,,, he’s more sensitive than he lets on and he doesn’t quite know how to meet your sharp tongue head on. he usually just tries to diffuse the situation with a bit of banter (since you two are good at that), but that tends to be hit and miss. you two never really have arguments, though, and he recovers pretty quickly (especially if you promise to read that week’s shonen jump).

✧ you two get so loud sometimes though,,, either before or after practice (basically outside the time frame where washijo can get at you dklj) but you’re always bantering back and forth. it often ends up in something of a three-way with semi, with the occasional input from taichi. goshiki tries joining in, bless his heart, but he’s really not very good at it.

✧ OKAY but he always has this big ideas for the team posters and you have to be like “satori, sweetie,,, absolutely not.” like, he wants them dressed as samurai. or yokai. or as characters from naruto. and you have to be like “that’s great but how is this going to get people to support the team.” and his excuses are always terrible.

✧ overall, you two have a very wholesome, supportive friendship? bless you guys. also he’s your number one wing-man and hype-man, even if you don’t want him to be. but we’ll get to that in a minute.

✧ side note: i think tendou’s an entp (if not, he’d be an estp), and they tend to meld very well with infjs! a good complement where you balance each other’s weaknesses while supporting one another’s strengths!

semi eita

✧ you were pretty intimidated by him at first, because 1) he’s very tall, 2) he comes off as very intense, and 3) he’s very, very pretty. semi was one of the guys who was a little confused as to why you were there; was a manager really necessary? but, you were cute, and you seemed pretty gung-ho about the whole thing. so, he just shrugged it off.

✧ because you got close to tendou, it was only inevitable that you ended up getting to know semi too. and, before you know it, you and tendou were constantly ganging up on the poor boy.

✧ but, you end up finding that being around semi is,,, surprisingly easy. your personalities just gel in a very natural way, and you balance each other out. he’s hot-headed and competitive, while you seem a lot more grounded and soft. but, at the same time, you have that sassy side, which plays off his personality quite well. so, you bolster each other while still being able to have a lot of fun together!

✧ honestly, semi develops a crush on you pretty quickly. it’s a few months into your friendship, and he casually mentioned that he’s interested in making music. when you were actually interested in what he had to say, he really perked up. and you let him ramble about it; that little passion of his that he hadn’t shared with anyone yet.

✧ and in that moment, he realises just how invaluable you already are to him? you listen to him vent about stupid shit all the time, you take an interest in the things he cares about, and you’re more than capable of maintaining good banter. and he’s like “oh shit oh no oh shit oh no--”

✧ tendou catches on immediately. semi literally begs him not to tell you. he promises to buy him boba for like a month for his silence. tendou never says anything directly (he’s a man of his word, after all), but oh man does he tease semi.

✧ you remember what i was saying about him being your wing-man? yeah. yeah.

✧ he’s already a bit of a show-off, and that only gets worse now you’re around. he tries to make his serves even more powerful and impressive, and he always looks over to you whenever he makes a service ace (he wants to see you cheering for him, but he’s not going to say that.)

✧ he’s literally always ranting about something slkdjf he says he’s not that hot-headed but you can always pull out a list of every single thing that set him off that week,,, and it’s never anything that serious, but it’s quite funny how much he’s able to ramble. but he really likes coming to talk to you because you listen and you tolerate it, and that does things to his heart, you know?

✧ it goes two ways. he’s quietly caring, and he’s very gentle with you when you’re feeling fragile. he’s particularly kind to you, and he tends to go into overdrive if he ever finds you upset. like, you can snap at him, but instead of getting angry he’s just like “O H N O what can i do? how can i help? i’m here if you need me.” and you’re like “huh? that,,, wasn’t the response i was expecting?” but he’s always unfailingly supportive of you.

✧ you’re always there for him, letting him lean on you, so he wants to return the favour. he told you that, once, with a blindingly red face.

✧ your relationship, even when you’re ‘just friends’, is littered with soft little moments. whether it be that support, quiet little compliments at opportune moments,,, that usually end with one of you turning around and going “haha i actually meant that you’re a l o s e r”

✧ because , for all the tenderness, you two roast each other all the time. is it flirting? probably. usually, actually, on semi’s side (tendou’s always complaining that semi’s never that nice to him when they’re bantering). honestly, semi just gets all giddy when he makes you laugh.

✧ he tried teaching you how to serve one time, because he’s like “okokok, this is an excellent opportunity to flirt and get close to her. i’m gonna seem so cool, just you watch--” but he’s the one who ends up getting all flustered because of course (tendou roasts the hell out of him for it. semi never quite lives it down)

✧ definitely pretends to be a little dumber than he is so you’ll tutor him -- you catch onto him because his grades are actually fine, but you humour him (even though you’re a little confused as to why he’s doing it? but you’re not going to turn down an opportunity to spend time with him--) somehow he’s still competitive with you when it comes to grades, but that’s just,,, him

✧ semi’s capable of joining in on the chaos from time to time (he’s always ready to throw down with tendou, after all), but if you want to relax, he’s happy to be quiet. he’s just happy to be in your presence because this boy is a simp okay

✧ you feature him on posters more than is maybe reasonable, but it’s just because he’s so pretty. like,,, his face alone is good marketing.

✧ look, this boy would die for your cooking. when he’s crushing on you, getting food from you just. destroys him. like,,, he goes bright red and the rest of the team’s like “hey dude, are you okay?” and he’s like “:) she made this :) for me :)” (cue ushijima being like “actually she made it for the entire team” and tendou starts cackling--)

✧ confessed to completely by accident. was more than willing to take it to the grave with him, but fate had other plans. poor boy was probably jealous of someone (you’ll see below), and he gets all grumbly. when you confront him about it because Oh My God Semi How Are You More Terse Than Usual, he just,,, blurts it out. literally just goes “it’s because I’m in love with you, you dumbass!” and you’re like “uh—” and he’s like “UH—DON’T TELL TENDOU.” to which your response is, “that’s the first thing you’re going to follow that up with?”

✧ at that point, he’s begging you to forget that he ever said anything. you, of course, are like “nope. not gonna.” and semi’s desperate and scrambling in his brain about how he’s going to salvage your friendship, when you say – “i never turned you down.” and semi’s like ??????????? i,,, i guess??? and you’re like “so,,, date this friday?” and semi thinks he’s ascended. this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. being a complete and total dumbass is not the way to get a girlfriend but there he is—

✧ tendou never lets him live it down, by the way. semi spends the rest of his life regretting not having some fancy confession planned. you assure him that it’s hard of the charm. he doesn’t quite believe you.

✧ okay but artistic couple? powerful. you show him your prose, and he lets you listen to a little of his original music. he always gets kind of nervous about it, because he needs to be The Best and he needs you to like his stuff. but of course you love it (and your personal favourites become the pieces he’s most proud of)

✧ poor boy has considered writing you a song so many times, but he keeps chickening you out. he always finds excuses not to-- when he’s crushing he’s like “no, that’s too much.” when you’re in a relationship, he’s like “i can’t because of,,, reasons.” he just doesn’t want to get it wrong, you know? but he keeps the rhythm and the lyrics he associates with you as notes between his heart strings (>:])

✧ also, when you’re finally together, he’s clingy as hell. He’s not the best at asking for affection, but he has a tendency to just,,, initiate it. And somehow, he makes it awkward like half the time. But it’s hard of his charm, and there’s nothing he loves more than feeling your fingers laced through his.

✧ those soft hours you mentioned? yeah. yeah. Semi gets super fond whenever you’re alone (especially when you two are cuddling), and he has a tendency to just,,, litter your face with kisses. You tease him for it all the time, and it makes him blush something fierce. He wouldn’t have things any other way, though.

✧ you two make me so soft and it’s such a surprise? i didn’t really expect to choose him but here we are,,, and i love you two (even if it seems like an unconventional choice). also whoops it’s so long i’ve set a precedent for myself :’)

ohira reon

✧ let’s be honest, both of you are responsible for holding the team together. having reon around is something of a godsend because it’s like “finally, someone’s got their shit together.” because while your boys are talented, they’re an absolute disaster sometimes. it’s not even that they’re chaotic or anything; it’s just that they’re prone to self-destructing? so you and reon are just. constantly on mum duty--

✧ he’s so mindful and polite, and he’s constantly thanking you for all you do. he knows you’re putting in a lot of work for them, and he wants to make sure you feel appreciated. he gently reminds you to look after yourself (especially around times of high stress), but he makes sure he doesn’t overstep any boundaries.  

✧ okay, but it’s so nice to just relax with each other every now and then? whether that’s chatting before or after practice, catching up on the weekends to discuss your disaster children, or helping each other study… he’s just a nice dude to spend time with?

✧ he’s more than willing to be a shoulder for you to lean on when times get rough. he’s well aware that you’ve got semi and tendou, but it’s certainly not a bad thing to have a sizable support system. reon strikes me as a good listener, so if you’re ever in the desperate need to rant, he’s your guy.

✧ he’s a bit supporter of you and semi. he likes how you balance him out and soften him, and he genuinely enjoys seeing your dynamic. he also just likes seeing two of his friends happy, you know?

goshiki tsutomu

✧ look,,, the moment he joins the team, he’s your son. you and tendou co-parent him. it was bound to happen, and how can you not develop a fondness for him? he definitely looks up to you like an older sibling, and your word is law in his world fdslkjdfs

✧ he just really wants to impress you! he doesn’t get the validation he’s seeking from his teammates, and that’s where you step in. give him the praise that he needs! tell him he’s doing well! he deserves it!

✧ he tries to keep up with the banter but he’s,,, not very good at it. his jokes don’t really land all that often because he’s too earnest. he’s too eager to please so he can never actually roast anyone (especially not you third years,,, the poor boy would combust before that’d happen)

✧ he appreciates how supportive you are! he’s also so, so appreciative, thanking you for listening to him, for making meals for him, for making time-tables for him,,, honestly, he’s just very touched? like you did this thing? for him? because you care about him? it makes him feel very Special, and that’s an instantaneous way to secure a place in his heart (even if technically, you’re doing it for the others too, as that’s kind of your job as a manager, but that’s irrelevant--)

✧ i don’t think goshiki’s very bright (bless), so he’d absolutely be asking you to tutor him. as with everything, he gives it his all, even when he’s got the question wrong. but, he’s your precious son, so you’re gonna do all you can to make sure he’s getting the grades he needs.

✧ i think you’d be able to get along with him quite well? just a very soft, loving friendship (also i can’t imagine you ever lashing out at goshiki, even when your patience is thin,,, just imagine the look on his face dssfklfsj poor baby,,, other members of the team are Deeply Jealous of him for that hhhhh)

shirabu kenijirou

✧ shirabu’s got a strong personality, and i think that could cause the two of you to get off to a rocky start. he’s the,,, “you have to prove your worth to me” type (at least by my count), so it might take him a few months to really understand why you’re even here (he’s still polite to you, of course, as you’re his upperclassmen, but the tension’s still there)

✧ somehow, the two of you have a bit of an academic rivalry going. sure, you’re in different year levels, but you’ve managed to make it into a competition. he’s not going to directly ask for your grades or anything like that, but you always feel like he’s testing you,,, trying to catch you out to see if he’s got a better understanding of the content than you did

✧ but because of that, he’s a really motivating study partner. if you’re both in the library (usually before practice), you feel this pressure to really buckle down and work extra hard because there’s no way you’re letting this runt beat you.

✧ a begrudging respect does develop between the two of you, and he’s willing to acknowledge all the little ways you help out the team. he also appreciates that you’re capable of being quiet ahahah

✧ he also appreciates the fact that you,,, can stick up for yourself, if that makes sense? even if it’s just roasting people? and he can’t deny how much work you put into your studies and your extra-curriculars. so, while i don’t think you guys would end up being all that close, your relationship is quite valuable.

yamagata hayato

✧ he’s a mum friend. no-one can convince my otherwise. and, that means he’s a mum friend for you, too (even though you tell him, constantly, that you’re the manager, and that means you’ve got to look after him. he doesn’t listen, of course.)

✧ he knows you’re smart and hard-working, but he wants you to look after yourself! he’s always reminding you to drink water and eat healthy. you’re one of his underclassmen, and he’ll be damned if you’re not taking good care of yourself!

✧ reminds you to go easy on the first years if you ever snap at them. he understands why, but he’s just like,,, a little calming force in moments like that. he says it’s a favour in return for you keeping track of his phone dsflkjdfljk

✧ he was one of the kindest, most welcoming members of the team when you first joined up! and honestly, the fact that he’s not A Giant (like some of the other boys), he was a lot more approachable. along with tendou, he lent a hand with helping you settle into the rhythm of things, and the two of you will always share a cute little bond because of that.

✧ he’s definitely one of the more chill members that you recharge with, and he’s also grateful to take some quiet time with the less chaotic amongst you.

✧ okay but i just have this vision of him helping you prepare food for the team? especially if it’s someone’s birthday or a different kind of celebration. i have no clue if he’s any good at cooking, but he tries.

kawanishi taichi

✧ he’s definitely one of the boys you were most intimidated by. He’s tall, and he’s got that whole expressionless thing going. He’s also not the type to,,, reach out, so your friendship develops due to propinquity more so than anything else

✧ honestly, i think you and taichi would have a cordial relationship, but not a particularly close one. you find each other pleasant enough to chat to, it’s just that you have other people that you’re closer to, if that makes sense?

✧ you’d gel best intellectually, i think. he’s clever, and he’s analytical, so i can see him sitting down and talking about the game with you. he thinks you’ve got a valuable perspective as someone looking from outside the court, so he likes to take advantage of that.

✧ often asks you what you think, and if you’ve got any ideas for improvement. The rest of the team is kind of ???? because his motivation is quite spotty, but it’s just because he likes thinking outside the box

sorry that one was short but I’VE GOT SO MANY WORDS YUKI AND I’M STILL NOT DONE

some other interactions ♡

akaashi keiji

✧ so, it's the first time you've gone to nationals with your team. and you're pretty excited. you guys aren't facing fukurodani, but your courts are next to each other during warm-ups. so, your boys get to it, and you take a moment to look around the room because you're so curious. 

✧ and, as you look over to the court next to you, you're dumbstruck because,,, the most beautiful man in the world is standing there? like it's nothing? and you're just,,, blown away. you don't notice you're staring until semi calls your name (because of course he's noticed that you're staring at someone--). you're like, "oh shit!"

✧ and as you're turning your head to call back to semi --thwack!

✧ you're on your ass. you're seeing stars. you're not quite sure what's happened. (as you were turning your head, one of bokuto's cross-courts collided directly with your face. all things considered, it's incredible that your nose is intact.)

✧ as your sight comes back to you, you see semi frowning at you. and next to him,,, oh god it's that boy. the pretty one. and poor you, dazed and confused and utterly fuddled can't quite handle it. you're being asked questions ("where are you?" "what day is it?" "how many fingers am i holding up?") and you manage to spit out acceptable answers, but your brain is going something like this: HFNHFNFHFNFHNDHSKDFFDJKJDSNFDSKJN

✧ somehow you make it to your feet, and you realise that one of your arms is being supported by semi, and the other by that pretty boy (you miss the side-eye semi's giving him). and he hangs around until you've been given a damp towel and a water bottle. "are you sure you're okay?" he asks, and you just smile at him. "i'm so sorry about that." you're unable to say much more than "it's fine" because you're so shy.

✧ and then he smiles. he smiles. It's Over For You. you can't get it out of your head, even when your game starts (even though semi is trying harder than ever to show off--).

✧ once your respective games are over (both teams came out victorious), he comes back over. and you're honestly just !?!?!?! "what's happening?" but he just smiles at you gently and says, "i'm so, so sorry about what happened. how are you feeling?" and you're like "oh, i'm fine! i feel much better."

✧ but then he goes, "let me buy you lunch as an apology." and you're like UM SIR? SIR? And he's like "I feel repsonsible because I set the ball." and you're like "THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT UM--" and he's like "my treat." and because he's The Prettiest Person In The World, you buckle and agree to go with him.

✧ by lunch, he means a trip to the cafeteria (you're not quite sure if you're disappointed about that). but, he asks you what you want, and even though you try and pick the cheapest thing on the menu to be polite he's like "are you sure that's what you really want?" and he ends up getting you the most expensive thing anyway --

✧ (while this is happening, semi's freaking out having watched you walk off with Pretty Boy. He's just going TENDOU TENDOU WHO IS THAT WHO'S YUKI WITH WHERE ARE THEY GOING WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE'S GOT STARS IN HER EYES and tendou's just like oh my god you're so obvious ask her out already. semi: ABSOLUTELY NOT)

✧ anyway, you and akaashi are having a genuinely lovely time? you were expecting to just have a quick lunch and then move on, but the conversation's flowing so nicely, and your personalities seem to complement each other? so your heart's going thump thump because how is he so nice, and pretty, and polite enough to treat you to lunch? maybe taking a spike to the face wasn't such a bad thing

✧ anyway, he ends up getting your phone number (because he’s smooth), and you end up texting back and forth a lot for the next few months. (whenever semi glimpses at your phone absentmindedly during study and sees akaashi’s name he’s all >:( and suddenly has trouble studying. twice as bad if you smile when you see the notif--)

✧ unfortunately, it’s a bit difficult keeping in consistent contact, because you’re so far away from one another (and i see akaashi as the sort of person who’s just. bad at texting, even when he’s trying ahaha). by the time you’re officially with semi, your texting relationship had dropped off a lot. but, not completely! you gel quite well, after all, and it’s quite pleasant to have a conversation every once in a while. definitely becomes one of those friendships where you’ll catch up if you happen to be in the same area for whatever reason!

iwaizumi hajime

✧ this is a more fleeting interaction, but it’s a sweet one nonetheless. the two of you met during your second year, when shiratorizawa was facing off against aoba johsai.

✧ from the other side of the gym, oikawa turns to iwaizumi and goes “i’m going to seduce shiratorizawa’s manager because that’ll lower their morale >:)” and iwaizumi goes “you absolutely will not be doing that”

✧ but oikawa’s already on his way over, and iwa’s just like “oh god no.” so, he sprints after his friend, half-yelling the words “shittykawa, i will kick your ass. leave her alone”

✧ but then you laugh and iwaizumi’s like “oh?” and oh at the same time. you’re quick to apologize, pointing out that you just thought the name was funny. isn’t that his captain? is he allowed to speak to his captain like that?

✧ oikawa tries to recover his dignity, but you and iwa are ignoring him. and the thought playing in the back of iwa’s head is :) a girl laughed at something i said :)

✧ he manages to get through the rest of the conversation before you’re called away (he heard something along the lines of ‘fraternizing with the enemy’ from some kid with a shock of red hair), but his heart is thumping a little quicker

✧ as they’re walking away, oikawa turns to him and goes, “iwa, you should seduce shiratorizawa’s manager to lower their morale.” iwa, of course, goes “you’re such an asshole.”

✧ but, he spikes really well that game, and a small part of him hopes you’re watching.

✧ after the game, oikawa pressures him to try and get your number (he thinks he’s being a good wingman, but honestly he’s just making it worse). iwaizumi’s excuse is that it’s too hard to approach you with the rest of shiratorizawa around; how’s he going to explain himself?

✧ oikawa’s like “duh you tell them you’ve come to steal their cute manager away” and iwaizumi’s just “i am One Step Away From Striking You Down Where You Stand.”

✧ he doesn’t end up getting your number, but oikawa brings you up consantly afterwards. he keeps telling the team “come on, we’ve got to get to the finals so i can finally crush ushiwaka and lay my inferiority complex to rest so iwa can see that cute manager again!”

✧ makki and matsukawa absolutely join in on the teasing. the first and second years are a tad too respectful to do the same (although yahaba and kindaichi are absolutely on-board with trying to set iwaizumi up with shiratorizawa’s cute manager,,, they tried to find you on social media once and iwa was a bit livid because he thought it was a little creepy fslfdk)

✧ so unfortunately, this doesn’t really go anywhere, but he does think about you sometimes. It’s usually just him wondering how you’re going, and hoping that you’re doing alright (because this is iwa we’re talking about, bless his heart)

#manager matchups #rowan plays matchmaker #that was my old tag for matchups when i did them on this blog hh #so block either of those if you don't wanna see these! #i had to edit this bc there was an inconsistency kdfjfdk SORRY

[giggles-and-freckles]

in the sandstorm

read on ao3

None of it would have happened if he hadn’t decided to try and be a kriffing local, rescuing stray parts to trade with the Jawas , of all beings.

He’d stayed afloat for so many years on the meagre funds that were annually routed via Bail, but at a certain point, business with the Jawas became the least conspicuous way to continue to survive. They drove a hard bargain, but Ben had a few tricks up his tattered sleeves, so he normally managed to walk away with the better end of the deal.

They weren’t picky about what he gave them. As long as the something was shiny or made some sort of noise, they were content and would babble their way into acquiring it. Ben wasn’t picky about his compensation, either. Food was just as good as credits on Tatooine, if not better.

When the winds started to pick up, he knew the tin scraps he had loaded in from the valley would be goners unless he got them inside. This was no easy task in the first hour of a Tatooine sandstorm, however.

The sandstorms could last days and Ben didn’t feel like leaving his source of income to the throes of the Tatooine climate for that long. So he ventured out, pulling his hood down as far as possible and donning the goggles that always reminded him of Ahsoka.

He’d almost grown acclimated to the overwhelming sting that accompanied that memory.

What he didn’t expect to find was a small boy a few hundred metres away, desperately trying to restart his speeder.

Ben squinted, unable to make out any specifics beyond the size of the human and shoddiness of the speeder. He hesitated for a moment, thinking of his tin scraps and how hard he had worked to pull them from the valley.

In the end, his begrudgingly innate desire to help won out.

“Hello!” he called out, bellowing over the screech of the accelerating winds.

The boy continued fiddling with the handles of the speeder.

“You there! Excuse me!” shouted Ben, struggling to even walk amidst the assault of wind and sand.

This time, the boy looked up and Ben stopped short.

Fuck.

Of course it was him. Ben should have known that the twisting of his gut had little to do with the impending storm and everything to do with the Force.

“Are you talking to me?” managed Luke, cupping his hands around his mouth.

Ben considered turning around and heading back to his hut right then, forgetting the tin and the boy. But blast that desire to help.

“Yes! Are you having trouble with your bike?” He was close to the boy now. Close enough where Luke could understand him without having to scream and close enough for Ben to see all the similarities he had absolutely no business in noticing.

“Yes, sir,” nodded Luke with a frown. “It stalled out and I can’t see enough to reattach the converter.”

“The storm is only going to get worse,” Ben pointed out, looking at the hovering bike.

“That’s why I’m in a hurry to get it fixed. I’m...a bit far from home.”

Far, indeed. The Lars lived on the other side of the canyon, closer to the spaceport. It was strange that Luke was out this far at all.

“You’re not going to make it home in this storm.”

Luke looked like he already knew this to be true, but wasn’t willing to accept it. “My aunt and uncle will kill me if I miss dinner again.” he whined.

“They cannot kill you if you are already dead,” quipped Ben.

The boy stared blankly for a moment before his lips quirked up into a half-smile. “They’re pretty persistent.”

Ben paused again, wondering what the hell he was doing. How many times had Owen Lars already been out to his hut asking, telling, and then demanding Ben stay away from Luke? And how many times had Ben chastised himself for being unable to quell his own curiosity, his own seeming desire for more hurt?

“Perhaps a sandstorm is not the ideal place to repair a speeder,” he began slowly. “You are welcome to bring it into my workshop. I have a few spare parts that you may find useful.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, that’s all right. Thank you, sir, but I--I really have to get going. Like I said, my aunt and uncle will--”

“Be more forgiving of your tardiness than your death.”

“Well,” Luke grimaced, “that’s a good point.” He stared at the ground for a moment, chewing at his lip, before he raised his gaze to meet Ben’s. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course not. We should hurry. The wind is about to shift.”

He was right. Between the two of them, they barely managed to get the stalled bike into Ben’s before the winds completely changed directions, as it always did before the worst of it. This was a good sign, because it meant it would be a short storm. A couple hours, perhaps.

But it also meant that Luke wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“I was perhaps a bit generous with the label of workshop before.” Ben shrugged as he surveyed the small cave.

“It’s great. Thanks, Mr.--” Luke blinked as if he only just realised he didn’t know the name of his saviour.

“Ben. Ben Kenobi.”

“Ben,” nodded Luke. “Thanks for your help, Ben.”

And then, because it all suddenly became a bit much for the old man, he dismissed himself, letting Luke know he would be up in the main room if he needed anything.

Anakin’s son.

He’d spent the past several years watching over the boy from afar, occasionally getting a bit too close for Owen and Beru’s comfort. But this was the first time since he had held the wailing infant in his arms on the long ride to Tatooine that he had spoken directly to the boy.

Life on Tatooine was lonely, but Ben felt that was a small price to pay for the pain he had afflicted on the galaxy. On this child.

Anakin’s son.

“Mr. Ben?” Luke’s head popped up from the small door that led to the workshop.

“Just Ben,” his lips twitched. “What is it?”

“I think I’ve got her figured out. Thank you.”

Ben’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “That was fast.”

“My uncle says I’ve already been pretty good with mechanics,” Luke shrugged.

Ben was thankful for the table that was in between them because it gave Luke a better chance at missing the way Ben’s knees momentarily buckled beneath him.

Of course he would be good with mechanics.

“That’s a useful trait,” Ben was impressed with his own ability to sound so detached.

“I’d rather be a pilot.”

He was transported, immediately, to his desperate attempts to teach Anakin the basics of Coruscanti traffic laws. It was all to no avail, of course, and he had the sneaking suspicion that Anakin had enjoyed seeing his Master green in the face.

“What were you doing anyway?” probed Ben. “There’s not much out here aside from Jawas and some sand people and I certainly hope you weren’t getting mixed up with them.”

“No,” Luke shook his head frantically. “There were some tin scraps in the valley a few days ago that I thought I could attach to my uncle’s old regulator to freshen it up. I came to try and get them, but they were gone anyway.”

Ben swallowed. “I see.”

“The truth is,” Luke leaned on his arms, offering a look of guilt, “my aunt told me I can’t go past the canyon until I’m ten…”

“And how old are you now?”

“Nine,” he said proudly.

This time, Ben did little to hide his physical reaction as he dropped into the solo chair that occupied his living space.

“You’re...nine?” he sputtered.

“Aunt Beru says it’s an important age, but I feel like it’s just getting in the way of me being a real adult,” Luke scrunched his nose sourly.

Had it really been nine years?

Ben had stopped counting the rotations after the first few revolutions. Besides, Tatooine days were longer than Coruscanti ones and he had lost track of it all so long ago.

But nine years.

That would make Luke the exact same age Anakin had been when Ben...no, Obi-Wan ...had taken him on as his Padawan.

For the first time in a while, Ben let himself wallow in the pool of nostalgia he was so insistent on staying away from. It was impossible not to look at the boy in front of him and see the icy blue eyes that had provided Obi-Wan an open door into the emotions, struggles, and joys of Anakin Skywalker on so many occasions.

Luke’s shaggy blonde hair was even reminiscent of Anakin’s after he cut it himself in a desperate attempt to blend in with the other Padawans. It had looked atrocious, of course, and Obi-Wan had been forced to shave it to near baldness in an attempt at recovery. Those were a rough few weeks for Anakin…

“Why do you live so far away from everything?” asked Luke. “Don’t you get bored out here?”

Ben withheld his dark chuckle. Bored . As if he had the time to be bored amidst all of the remembering .

“I’m a simple man,” Ben shrugged.

“Have you lived here forever?”

Ben paused again, wondering how to go about this particular answer. “No, I moved here several years ago.”

Luke’s eyes widened again. “You moved from another planet to Tatooine? You’re crazy!”

“It was a necessary change,” Ben pulled a smile. It felt unfamiliar and his dry lips cracked in response.

“Well, where’d you come from?”

“Oh, here and there.”

“How many systems have you been to?” Luke looked at Ben with fascination.

“A few hundred, I imagine.”

“A few hundred? Did you just say a few hundred?” Luke scrambled out of the small door in the floor, taking a seat on the floor in front of Ben.

“I used to be a traveller.”

“Wow,” sighed Luke in wonder. “I can’t believe you chose to retire here .”

“Retire?” asked Ben indignantly. “Who said anything about retiring? How old do I look?”

Luke shook his head frantically. “No, Mr. Ben! I just meant that I--”

“It’s all right, young one,” Ben smiled. “I was only joking.”

“Oh. Right. Ha ha!” the young boy rather obviously forced a laugh. Like Anakin had done so many times when he’d first arrived at the Temple, not fully grasping Obi-Wan’s sarcasm for months .

“What’s your favourite planet?”

The question took Ben by surprise. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have preferences. He’d certainly choose Kashyyyk over Jakku. But it was difficult to think of any planet without thinking of the stories that came along with it.

“I always had a particular soft spot for Ryloth,” Ben finally landed on. “It’s been mostly decimated by the Empire now, but we had some good memories during the years of the Republic.”

“Who?”

“Hm?”

“You said we. Who is we?” Luke tilted his head and then practically bounced up off the floor. “Do you have a droid?!”

“I don’t have a droid,” Ben shook his head with a chuckle. “I was referring to someone I used to know. A friend.”

The word fell flat and Ben knew he was drastically undershooting, but he couldn’t bring himself to say what he had finally admitted to Anakin on that night of hell so long ago.

A brother.

“Oh. Well, what’d you do?”

“We helped people,” Ben shrugged. “Twi’leks, in that particular case.”

“So before you moved here, you just...travelled from planet to planet and helped people? ”

It was such a simple way to chronicle the Jedi, but Ben found that he quite liked the description.

“Essentially.”

“Wizard,” sighed Luke.

Ben tensed up again, surprising himself at how a simple word could affect him so viscerally. It had been years since he’d heard that particular bit of slang, long before the fall of the Republic.

Anakin had picked it up from friends on Tatooine and taken it with him to the Temple, practically infecting the entire initiate class with the jargon. Obi-Wan had received more exasperated frowns from other Masters during those few months than any other time in Anakin’s apprenticeship. Until Master Yoda had held a seminar for the Padawans on understanding the meaning of a word before using it, one could hardly turn a corner at the Temple without hearing a high-pitched “Wizard!!!!,” followed by the heavy footfall of a running youngling.

“The storm should let up within the hour. I was about to make some broth...would you like some while you wait?” Ben stood from his seat.

“Sure,” Luke nodded enthusiastically. “Thanks!”

Ben made himself busy in the corner that he had attempted to make a kitchen. Running water was a luxury Tatooine did not have, but he’d managed to configure a sort of well system in his hut during his first year on the planet.

“Mr. Ben?”

“Ben,” he corrected. “Yes, my young friend?”

“Do you think you could tell me stories about your travelling and helping people? Stories about you and your friend?”

Ben paused, his hand hovering over the pot. He closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath.

It hurt. It hurt so much every damn day to remember.

But this was Anakin’s son.

A boy who would never know the wonderful, impulsive man who had been his father.

He turned back toward Luke, his first genuine smile in nine years playing at his lips. “I’d be happy to.”

#my fic #obi-wan kenobi #luke skywalker #sw

[fiercestcorpse]

lan zhan transmigrator au part 2

part 1 is here. i will most likely be putting this up on ao3 once i’ve settled on a title.

By the time he and Lan Xichen had made it down from the Cold Pond and into the buildings of Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan had started to realise it was later in the day than he’d thought. He needed more information, but he wasn’t sure how to ask. Where had he been earlier that day, what had this body been doing? Lan Xichen had mentioned something about a fever. What was the story behind that? Lan Zhan didn’t recall anything about it being mentioned in the original novel, but maybe it had just escaped the protagonist’s notice.

“Brother,” he asked delicately. Addressing Lan Xichen by name seemed a bit too friendly for this reserved character. Lan Zhan certainly couldn’t call him by his personal name, because he didn’t know it. “How did you know to look for me in the Cold Pond?”

“One of the guards at the front gate came to tell me he’d seen you, and you were heading that way,” Lan Xichen replied. “He said you looked unwell. What were you doing leaving the Cloud Recesses, Wangji? You should have been resting.” A soulful expression of brotherly disappointment graced his perfectly proportioned face.

Of course Lan Zhan couldn’t answer his question! He had no memory of what this body had been doing before he’d occupied it. In the original, it had been implied that Lan Wangji had just returned from a night hunt, but Lan Zhan wasn’t sure if that was actually true or not, or how the original’s mysterious illness might have affected things.

However, this did give him one piece of unwelcome information: If Lan Wangji had come through the gate and re-entered the cloud recesses, then he had probably already encountered the Jiang disciples… and stopped them from entering!

There was not a lot Lan Zhan could do about this right now. Lan Xichen seemed to be leading him towards a specific building. From the sign above the door, it seemed to be the healing room, where sick or injured members of the Lan sect would go to be treated.

Lan Zhan had no idea that such a building had existed! It had never come up in the novel, though of course it made sense that it would be there. It would be difficult to go all the way down the mountain to the nearby Caiyi Town for a medical emergency, and the common people there might not know how to treat some of the problems a cultivator might encounter.

The room Lan Zhan was led into was elegant and spacious, with an astringent, herbal scent in the air. It had an overall light colour scheme-- white paper in the windows, white drapes dividing the room into sections-- but was furnished with contrasting dark wood. The source of the smell was a Lan disciple sitting at a low table, grinding some presumably medicinal herbs with a mortar and pestle.

Lan Xichen led Lan Zhan over to sit at a low bench, and hovered anxiously around him as an unfamiliar man came to attend to him. The man must have been some sort of doctor, but Lan Zhan had no way of knowing, as once again he had never been mentioned in the novel. The unknown doctor man pressed two fingers to Lan Zhan’s wrist to take his pulse. Lan Zhan gave what was surely a very OOC flinch at the feeling of foreign spiritual energy coming into contact with his own.

In his previous life, Lan Zhan had of course been aware of the idea that there was a network of qi flowing throughout his body. But having heard about a thing really couldn’t be compared to the experience of actually, viscerally feeling it! The tingling, flowing sensation felt somewhat similar to the time Lan Zhan had been in hospital when he was younger, and had been put on an intravenous drip. But this sensation wasn’t present in his veins, it was happening throughout an entirely new network that this body apparently had.

The doctor shared a brief look of concern with Lan Xichen. Lan Zhan frowned minutely at being glanced around as if he wasn’t there. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

“Lan-er-gongzi has had a minor qi deviation,” the doctor said, addressing Lan Xichen. “But he seems to have somehow brought his own meridians back into the proper alignment.”

A qi deviation! In the setting of Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way, that was serious! It wasn’t something that could happen due to just a minor issue, it was a symptom of something being very badly wrong with a person’s cultivation. And qi deviations were often fatal.

Now that he was aware of their presence, Lan Zhan noticed that this body’s meridians felt somewhat fragile, almost bruised. He didn’t really have anything to compare it to, but surely they weren’t supposed to feel like that.

“You will have to take extra time each morning to meditate and circulate your qi until you are fully recovered,” said the doctor. “It would also be beneficial for us to check up on you in the future, and determine if there is some imbalance or blockage that could cause another qi deviation.”

“Of course, we will make sure to do that,” said Lan Xichen. He was now looking extremely pale and worried. “Wangji, it seems like it really was the right thing to do, to go meditate in the Cold Pond,” he added. “You may have averted a catastrophe.”

Although he maintained a stoic expression, internally Lan Zhan shuddered to hear this. Averted a catastrophe? More likely, the feverish Lan Wangji had overtaxed himself, and caused his own qi deviation in the first place! And now… now he was gone, and Lan Zhan was occupying his body. Lan Zhan didn’t know if the qi deviation had been deadly, or if it had simply caused enough of a weakness for something to force Lan Wangji’s soul out of its rightful position, and replaced it with that of a clueless transmigrator. Either way, the original inhabitant was gone.

Still, Lan Zhan refused to feel bad about it. Lan Wangji was a fictional character, why should Lan Zhan be upset if he died? He was going to die anyway, due to his own bad decisions. It had simply happened a little sooner. Now that Lan Zhan was in his place, he’d take care to do a better job of it.

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said to the doctor. That wasn���t out of character, right? Lan Wangji was always polite to people in positions of power or influence. “I think I will go and meditate now.” And change out of this damp clothing. He rose from the bench, ignoring Lan Xichen’s anxious gaze, and prayed he could find the disciple dormitories without getting too obviously lost.

--

As the head disciple, and son of the clan leader, it made sense that Lan Wangji’s dormitory was one of the biggest, set slightly apart from the rest. Lan Xichen accompanied him there, and Lan Zhan was able to walk behind him without making it look too obviously like he was following him. Lan Xichen kept shooting little glances at him back over his shoulder, like he was afraid Lan Zhan was going to fall over and start gushing blood from his face or something.

“Wangji,” said Lan Xichen. “I know you’ve volunteered to patrol Cloud Recesses tonight, but I think you should reconsider. You should stay behind and rest.”

Lan Zhan was about to agree, when he was interrupted by a ding. [Lan Wangji patrolling Cloud Recesses is an important plot point for establishing his rivalry with the protagonist! If this plot point is missed, 200 B Points will be deducted!]

… Tell me again, how many B Points did I start with? Lan Zhan asked the system.

[You were awarded 100 complimentary B Points at the start of your user experience! As you have done basically nothing so far except follow the character Lan Xichen around, your number remains the same!]

And if I lose more B Points than what I have…

[Your account will be terminated, and you will be deported back to your original world.]

Back to my original world, where I’m dead. Great. So there was no chance of skipping this encounter with the protagonist, then. 

“I will consider it,” Lan Zhan told Lan Xichen, meaning I am absolutely still going on patrol tonight, I haven’t got any choice.

But just because he still had to show up for the encounter, didn’t mean Lan Zhan had to act the same way. In the novel, Lan Wangji had scolded the protagonist for breaking curfew and drinking. He’d drawn his sword on him, broken the protagonist’s bottle of Emperor’s Smile, and reported his rule breaking to Master Lan Qiren. There was definitely some sort of compromise Lan Zhan could make, where he could still be in character but maybe let the protagonist off with a lighter punishment.

This reminded Lan Zhan of something else important. Before entering his dormitory room, Lan Zhan turned back towards Lan Xichen. “If you have the opportunity, you should send somebody to the main gate. The Jiang disciples misplaced their invitation.”

There! That shouldn’t be out of character, right? He’d just ratted the Jiangs out to an authority over their missing invitation. Knowing Lan Xichen, he would ensure the Jiang disciples were brought inside regardless, which was what Lan Zhan wanted, but he hadn’t actually asked Lan Xichen to do that.

[... 5 B Points deducted for clumsy loophole exploitation] said the System. Its mechanical voice sounded somehow exasperated. Well. That wasn’t too harsh a penalty.

“Of course! I’ll have it seen to,” said Lan Xichen. “In the meantime, take care of yourself.” Lan Xichen beamed at Lan Zhan, before leaving him in peace.

As Lan Zhan pushed open the door to the dormitory, the jade token attached to his belt gave a little flare of spiritual energy. Was it like some sort of keycard? Only people with the right level of permission could get into certain buildings in the Cloud Recesses? That was another element of worldbuilding that wasn’t in the novel! He wondered if there were any rooms he couldn’t enter, and what would happen if he tried.

Lan Wangji’s dormitory honestly looked quite acceptable, by Lan Zhan’s standards. It was almost uncomfortably sparse and tidy, much like Lan Zhan’s old bedroom had been. There were many books, carefully lined up on the shelves, and neatly stacked writing materials on a table, beside a cloth-covered guqin. The only hint of individuality was a tiny vase sitting by a window, containing a single purple-blue gentian flower.

Who could have guessed, one-dimensional villain Lan Wangji apparently liked flowers? Or maybe it had been put there by someone else. Soft-hearted Lan Xichen seemed like a likely culprit. Lan Zhan supposed it was up to him now, to decide for himself whether Lan Wangji liked flowers or not.

Ding! [Now you’re getting it! Good luck on your mission of adding sympathetic nuance to this scum villain, and improving this story’s many failings!]

Let’s not go too far. Lan Zhan wasn’t interested in being sympathetic, much less in improving the story now that he was living it rather than reading it. He just wanted to stay out of the protagonist’s way, thereby avoiding his own death. If he could read some interesting books and learn how to cultivate, maybe continue improving his guqin playing, that would be enough for him.

Of more immediate interest was the small mirror attached to one wall. On a shelf underneath it was a hairbrush, and a small jar of some sort. Lan Zhan immediately headed over there, to get a look at his new face.

It was… actually quite handsome! Just as expected in a cultivation setting. Lan Wangji had smooth skin, attractive features, and dark, piercing eyes. But wasn’t he a little bit too good looking? Pathetic minor villains shouldn’t be overly handsome, they would outshine the protagonist.

And anyway, weren’t he and Lan Xichen supposed to look alike? They had a somewhat similar bearing, that of an elegant and refined young master, although Lan Xichen had a friendlier look about him. But where Lan Xichen had broader shoulders and a square jaw, Lan Zhan’s new face was somewhat narrower and pointier. Still, he couldn’t complain. He thought this face rather suited him.

He forced a smile at the mirror, just to see what it would look like, then twisted his face up in a look of sadness and regret.

“Wei-gongzi, I apologise for my earlier actions,” he tried. That neither looked nor sounded appropriate for this character. And wasn’t it too dishonest to apologise for something he hadn’t even done? From the protagonist’s perspective he would still be that person who refused them entry, but to Lan Zhan, it didn’t feel right. Anyway, hadn’t he thought to himself that if he’d been in that position, he’d have done the same? If you carelessly leave behind your possessions, there should be consequences.

With or without the OOC function enabled, I can’t just go around lying about things. I don’t want to give the protagonist cause to kill me, but I don’t want to shamelessly pander to him either.

Having made up his mind on this matter, Lan Zhan got changed into another, nearly identical set of white-and-pale-blue robes. He also found his sword, which was a relief, as he’d been somewhat concerned he might have dropped it in the Cold Pond.

It wasn’t quite dark yet, but Lan Zhan didn’t want to miss the protagonist’s arrival. Not to mention, he thought he might have to search around to find the location where they would meet. So with this in mind, he set off early to find the perfect rooftop.

--

After spending a little while strolling through Cloud Recesses at a measured and dignified pace, Lan Zhan thought of a problem. He knew from the description in Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian would confront each other on the roof of an outlying building. But he wasn’t actually sure how to get up on the roof in the first place. In cultivation settings, characters seemed to jump great heights and fly through the air like it was nothing. But Lan Zhan wasn’t actually a cultivator, he was only pretending to be one! He had no idea how to do any of that!

Could he just find a likely looking spot, and clamber up onto the roof the regular way? He might have to. And what would happen when it came time for him to draw his sword on the protagonist? Lan Wangji had been quite athletic in his previous life, but none of the sports he’d ever done involved swordfighting.

Forget deliberately breaking character, he might accidentally reveal himself as a fake whether he wanted to or not!

Lan Zhan frowned, and glanced around. He was in a quiet, secluded courtyard, and there was no one else out here. So no one would see him if he just…

He gave a little jump in place, and immediately felt rather foolish. Nobody is watching! He reminded himself. Your life might depend on this!

He tried again, this time reaching for the places where he’d felt that weird, tingly sensation when the doctor had been probing his spiritual pathways. There were several major channels of them, flowing throughout his limbs, forming little whirlpools of energy at certain points, and all flowing towards-- or possibly out from?-- some sort of central point deep within his body. If he jumped this time, while using this pool of energy to give himself a little push…

Lan Zhan went rocketing up into the cool night air. High above the rooftops, he felt his robes flare out dramatically around him as he hung there for a second, and then began to plummet back to earth. He had just enough time for a brief flare of wordless panic, before he grasped wildly for his qi again and somehow managed to slow his fall.

Hm. Maybe a bit more gently. This time, the qi-assisted boost he gave himself was just enough to get him to roof height, and then hover there momentarily, before he allowed himself to descend back to the ground.

Lan Zhan felt a quiet burst of delight. He was actually doing it, he was cultivating! It had felt quite natural to do it, almost instinctive, like his body had built up quite a respectable level of cultivation, and was used to reaching for it regularly. He was sure if he’d had to start from scratch, it would have been a lot harder, but this body already had a fully formed golden core and everything!

He remembered the assertion in Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way, that Lan Wangji had been jealous of the protagonist’s prodigious cultivation, and had wanted to sabotage him. But to Lan Zhan, that seemed ridiculous. As a newcomer to this world, there was no way he could manage to be the strongest or most talented cultivator, not without some practice. But to be able to cultivate at all was incredible.

In his previous life, Lan Zhan couldn’t precisely be called competitive. But rather, he’d known what he was good at, and strived to become even better. He didn’t worry about what other people were doing, the only standards that mattered were his own, and those of his uncle. In this life, he thought it would be much the same. He wanted to be good at cultivation, because it seemed like a worthwhile thing to work towards. But there was no point in trying to impede other people’s progress simply to make himself look better. In the end, he didn’t care how he looked to other people. He’d still know whether he was actually succeeding or not.

With this in mind, Lan Zhan practiced a few more jumps in the privacy of the empty courtyard. He managed to do some flips in mid-air, and didn’t even seem to get dizzy from it. Then he decided it was probably time to be moving on. It was nearly fully dark, and he didn’t want to be late for his meeting with the protagonist.

--

With the System’s help, Lan Zhan soon found the spot he needed to be in. There was a sort of upper balcony on one building, which gave a pretty good view out over the Cloud Recesses. Given that the Lan sect were all very well-behaved and went to bed early, and there were supposed to be wards preventing people from entering the area outside of curfew, Lan Zhan was not entirely sure what kind of wrongdoing he was expected to find on his patrol. If he didn’t already know the protagonist was going to attempt to sneak in after hours, he was sure he’d probably find the whole exercise pretty pointless. As it was, he simply stood on the balcony for a while, and watched clouds pass over the face of the moon. He also took a moment to smooth down his hair after his earlier acrobatics, and make sure his forehead ribbon was on straight.

He was alerted to the protagonist’s presence by the sound of a grunt as someone hoisted their body over the ridge of a roof, then the gentle clinking of ceramic jars, and a muffled giggle.

And there… there was the protagonist, Wei Wuxian. Right there in the flesh. He wasn’t looking in Lan Zhan’s direction, but rather gazing out over the courtyard below. He was maybe a little shorter than Lan Zhan had pictured him, and he looked very young, but his mischievous expression was exactly as expected.

Of course he looks young, he’s still a teenager like me at this point, thought Lan Zhan. Wait, is he even old enough to be buying alcohol? Lan Zhan knew some kids whose parents were fine with them drinking, but his uncle would have grounded him until he was thirty for trying to sneak alcohol into the house. Much less into somebody else’s house! That was just rude.

The protagonist jumped in surprise when he spotted Lan Zhan’s impassive figure on the balcony. “What a coincidence! We meet again!”

Lan Zhan was in no way prepared to actually be spoken to by the protagonist, and simply stared at him.

“Lan-er-gongzi, you’re out at this hour!” Wei Wuxian tried again. “Are you going to admire the moon?”

As a matter of fact, he had been doing exactly that, but he couldn’t just say that. He would be docked some points for breaking character for sure.

“Lan-er-gongzi,” said the protagonist, persistent in the face of adversity, “I came for my shijie. Oh! I found the invitation! It’s right here, I’ll show you.” He began to rummage inside his robes, presumably for said invitation. This confirmed Lan Zhan’s earlier suspicions that he had indeed met with the Jiang disciples earlier.

“Breaking through the wards is a violation of the Lan clan’s principles,” he said. He had to say something, and this was roughly what he remembered the rules-obsessed Lan Wangji having said. Really, that was a pretty mild rebuke, considering that Wei Wuxian had essentially just done the magical equivalent of throwing a rock through the Lan sect’s window. “Those who come at night should not be allowed in until the morning. Two violations of the Lan Clan’s principles. Unauthorised carrying of liquor. Three violations of the Lan Clan’s principles.”

The protagonist did not look thrilled by this stony reception. “Lan-er-gongzi, I am new to the Gusu Lan Clan, and not familiar with the rules. But I swear, these things won’t happen again!” As he said this, he held up three fingers in an earnest salute. Of course, having read the original novel, Lan Zhan knew he absolutely didn’t mean it. “Also, I was just in a hurry to find Jiang Cheng and shijie.” A calculating look stole over his face. “How about this? Just let me in for a glimpse. Just one glimpse!”

Seeming to consider the matter settled, the protagonist got to his feet. Acting purely on instinct, Lan Zhan vaulted over the edge of the balcony, and thrust his sword out to block the protagonist’s path. It slid a short way out of the scabbard, revealing a length of shining blade. The protagonist gave a nervous laugh.

“Well then, the Emperor’s Smile, I will spare you one pot,” he said, holding up one of the ceramic jars that were looped over the end of his sword. “Forget about this, deal?”

[That’s bribery!] the System sang out helpfully. [That is also a violation of the Lan clan’s rules!]

This actually… genuinely annoyed Lan Zhan! He may not have agreed with all of the original Lan Wangji’s actions or motivations, but the rules were the rules, and Wei Wuxian had broken them. But instead of apologising for his ignorance, he’d assumed Lan Zhan was so weak willed and dishonourable that he could be persuaded to reverse his decision with a jar of alcohol! “Attempting to bribe a law enforcer,” Lan Zhan snapped. “Doubly guilty.” Law enforcer, maybe he was taking himself a bit too seriously, but breaking the rules was a pretty serious matter.

“Lan-er-gongzi, are you seriously so inflexible?” the protagonist complained. “When we were at the gate, you put the silence spell on me for no reason! You are somehow responsible for that case, right?” saying this, he pushed Lan Zhan’s sword back into its scabbard, and attempted to leave again.

Lan Zhan didn’t need the System to tell him that he could not let the protagonist just run off like that. He thrust out his sword in much the same way as before-- and then found himself twisting back from Wei Wuxian’s block, and coming around for another strike. Before Lan Zhan could really comprehend what was happening, they were fighting, actually fighting! Wei Wuxian was blocking and ducking under his slashes, then tumbling up and out of the way.

Lan Zhan remembered how to jump, of course. And he remembered how to use his qi to keep that momentum up, as he soared through the air after Wei Wuxian’s graceful, fleeing figure. They faced each other from opposite sides of the roof, as Wei Wuxian eyed him consideringly. Lan Zhan couldn’t help but wonder what he saw.

“I’m occupied today. Excuse me,” the protagonist said. His perfect veneer of audacity hadn’t been so much as chipped by their fight. He turned and fled once more, and once more Lan Zhan gave chase. They clashed again, and this time Lan Zhan actually managed to sever the cord connecting the two jars of Emperor’s Smile. The protagonist dived off the roof to catch them, but he missed one, and it shattered on the white gravel path below.

“Lan Wangji!” the protagonist called out, all pretense at politeness abandoned. “Pay for my Emperor’s Smile!”

Lan Zhan leapt down from the roof after him. He was glad now he’d gotten in a bit of practice earlier, as he now managed to make a perfectly elegant landing. Composing his face into a stern glare, he stared the protagonist down. As he did so, he noticed something he hadn’t seen earlier.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

“Ah? What’s this?” said Wei Wuxian, walking over to study it more closely.

It was a large block of stone, with column upon column of writing carved into it. These were of course the famous rules of the Gusu Lan sect. Lan Zhan realised he’d better take a look over them himself, at some point, if he was going to be trying to enforce them.

“The principles of the Gusu Lan Clan,” Lan Zhan answered.

The protagonist was astonished. “This many?” he said, sounding horrified. He clutched his remaining jar of Emperor’s Smile protectively to his chest.

“Put the alcohol down,” said Lan Zhan. “Since you came for the lecture, let’s count how many principles you have violated tonight.” He paused. He knew there were at least four by now. Wasn’t there some rule about not fighting, too? But that probably didn’t count, since Lan Zhan had actually started the fight! Oh no, had he just added “hypocrite” to the list of scum villain Lan Wangji’s numerous misdeeds?

The protagonist shook his head and scoffed. “Well, I’m so fortunate that I wasn’t born into the stiff and horrible Gusu Lan Clan.” With that, he took the opportunity to run off again, leaping over to a nearby roof. He then sat down in a most inelegant manner. “Liquor is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses. Well, I can stay outside and sit here to drink! This won’t count, right?” Saying this, he unstoppered his jar, and tipped a stream of clear, fragrant liquor into his mouth.

Lan Zhan was infuriated. Now he knew how the System had felt earlier, when he’d tried to argue technicalities with it! The protagonist’s behaviour had seemed amusing as a reader, but from this position, Lan Zhan was beginning to find him impossibly smug and arrogant! Who would make such a big deal about not being permitted to drink alcohol? Just apologise and follow the rules next time!

“So disobedient!” Lan Zhan snapped. He felt his hand, held behind his back, clench into a fist.

“The female cultivators in every clan are all admiring the famous Lan-er-gongzi!” the protagonist called down from the roof. The return to Lan Zhan’s title was clearly not meant to be a gesture of respect. “What a pity!”

“A pity?” Lan Zhan found himself baffled by these words, and also distracted by a single drop of Emperor’s Smile that had beaded on Wei Wuxian’s chin. What on earth did he mean, about the female cultivators admiring Lan Wangji? That hadn’t been in the original novel!

Wei Wuxian grinned. “What a pity that they don’t know the person they are admiring is relentless, unreasonable, and rigid!” 

Lan Zhan glared. Well, he wasn’t wrong, Lan Wangji certainly was all those things. And maybe Lan Zhan was too! But that was better than being a shameless, disrespectful, irresponsible rule breaker, who tipped illicit alcohol all over his chin!

Ding! went the System. [Would you like to spend 50 B Points to unlock the Lan sect special ability, “Silencing Spell”?]

Yes! Anything to shut this smug protagonist up! Lan Zhan was accepting the offer before he’d even thought it through, or considered the fact that the cost was over half his remaining B Points.

“But it doesn’t matter,” Wei Wuxian continued, like he was giving a speech to a greater audience than just one mad and frustrated teenager glaring up at him from the ground. “When I go back to Yunmeng, I’m going to--”

His words were suddenly cut off, and his lips appeared inseparably sealed together! Lan Zhan had cast the silencing spell!

Wei Wuxian leapt back down from the roof, and got up in Lan Zhan’s personal space. He was able to make inarticulate noises of protest, though it appeared somewhat painful to do so, but he could neither continue with his speech nor drink any more of his Emperor’s Smile.

Lan Zhan had won. This fact was suddenly more important to him than the story, or his original plan not to get on the protagonist’s bad side. He’d made his point, and now he was going to take Wei Wuxian to receive the proper punishment.

[Congratulations! Achievement “Youthful Rivalry” unlocked! 200 B Points awarded!]

“Let’s go,” Lan Zhan said, turning on his heel to walk off. The protagonist, inexplicably, followed him.

#lan zhan: i am going to make better decisions than the idiot villain original character #lan zhan: *gets annoyed by the protagonist and proceeds to make exactly the same decisions just for slightly different reasons* #anyway i mainly went of the netflix subtitles for the later bits of dialogue #but i'm planning on diverging a bit more from canon later on #otherwise this would be. a very boring fanfic lmao

[joxabear]

Lore and World Building

So throughout my writing experience, I've realised I'm really good at world building and lore. I’ll be using my WIPs as examples for some things, and mentioning some elements. Feel free to be inspired by some! I give you full permission to borrow some of these ideas for you own WIPs! I’m being as vague as possible anyway, so the chances of you 100% taking the idea are slim.

This is very long so I’ll put it under a break!

First off, what type of book are you writing? This post will focus on fantasy worlds, as that's what I tend to write. If requested I can make another post for non fantasy worlds.

I have a whole other document of just the world lore and history. A trick of mine is to search through our own history. I have a list of books I've been flipping through for inspiration.

Examples are;

I have a big nature book, I've had it my whole life, and I've read it multiple times. It has many animals, human anatomy, natural occurrences, and more. It really helps me when designing new animals, the landscape, the humanoids, even the anthropomorphic onrd. The book is called "Encyclopedia of Discovery: Nature" and is written and edited by multiple people. (if you look up the title it's the blue book with a snake head on it).

Another book is actually just an Egyptology book. My book isn't Egypt based or anything, but simply reading about traditions will help you create some. Also it's just an interesting read!

I'm also looking into "The Many Faces of God" by Jeremy Campbell to help me with the religion side(I'm not religious myself, so it's a great help to see how people perceive deity's and especially God!)

I'm also reading "The Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson, which has a lot of lore! Reading books with lots of lore or similar elements to your own will help you grasp the idea of what you want and how to write it.

A few others are The Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein, The Binding by Bridget Collins. Also video games! Those worlds are really in depth! A few I like to look into are TERA, Blade and Soul, Legend of Zelda, Fire Emblem, Xenoblade.

Now enough about books. Those are just some suggestions and they won't fit everyone's own world! My world heavily revolves around religion, prophecies, and fantasy elements, so those are the books I've been delving into. Another book of mine is very science orientated, explaining magic through science means and the like, so I actually have a quantum mechanics book for that("Quantum Mechanics Primer" by M. Warner and A.C.H Cheung to be precise)

You don't have to read random nature books or learn quantum mechanics to write though, it's just something I like doing.(and I've barely learnt quantum mechanics really I just know some fancy words and can bullshit enough to sound smart)

First off, I like to start with any major locations, you don’t always have to do this, but it’s nice to keep track. Now, going on a tangent here(I’ll be using my current WIP as an example) I’ve got a few kingdoms(nine to be exact.) If you have a kingdom, even if it won’t be on page, go into their beliefs and traditions! It’ll help with characterisation. Each kingdom worships a particular deity(I’ll be going into religion soon, don’t worry) so they dress, teach, and have differing politics depending on which god they follow. Not to say they don’t follow them. In another WIP of mine I’ve created holidays we’ll likely never see, but it does give life to the world!

Naming can be a hit or miss. My ways of naming are look around, change a few letters, done. Other times I simply mash letters together, then edit it to look vaguely like a word. Sometimes I just use real names. One of my worlds is just called “Reality.” Yeah, original, am I right?

Once you have these major locations, you can decide with minor locations(ie. villages you’ll never visit, random forests, plains, beaches. I live in Australia, and have never been to Bondai Beach, but it’s a thing! I wouldn’t map out Australia based on where I’ve been. The map is for everyone, not the MC.)

You don’t always need a map, but maps are cool! Most of my WIPs have maps, the only ones that don’t are the ones set in Earth or a specific place I made up(cannot speak about it it’s a spoiler!) I usually look at maps, both in real life, in video games, and in books, to help me. What kind of style do you want your map? Usually they’re horizontal, so that’d be a good start. Is your map the one island? Or the whole world? One of my maps is one island, and can go into more detail. Another one is the whole world, so I only have major locations with a few minor(unnamed villages.) You can also decide to have a world map then each separate island.

Now you have a world base, so lets get into the lore and history.

Religion is all around the world, and to think of a world without religion is a little weird. Making a religion could be a little harder. I’ve made multiple, but they are quite similar. So first, what kind of religion? A pantheon? One God? Maybe something else? I’d look into our own religions. I take a lot of inspiration from the Greek and Roman Gods. If you have multiple Gods, write down what they represent. Maybe they have a specific animal? Gemstone? Food? Beverage? Plant? Maybe they have personalities! In one WIP my gods have a home on the different planets, sun and the moon. Also, is it real? As a non-religious person I believe heavily in do what you want, but ultimately, I likely won’t believe anything you say about any god. There will be people like that, and there will probably be fake religions. Maybe every religion is fake? Maybe there’s multiple real religions.

So traditions, fancy things. I personally don’t have any traditions, I’m a white Australian, the most traditional thing I do is a Bunnings snag. So I’ve had to delve far into religions. The internet will be your lover. Festivals, certain activities, the way people dress, any specific jewellery? Look into traditions outside of your own and take inspiration. And tie them into the religion, if you can! Or something of cultural significance! Maybe an old story?

Are there children’s tales, or famous books. In our own world, there’s very old famous books, or famous authors themselves. Not just books, though! There’s also drama, art, sports. Delve into those, maybe just on passing your MC notes that their favourite artist drew something? Or they’re wearing their favourite teams shirt?

Animals are funny. Depending if you want or not, you can make up animals. I love making up animals. I name them random things, and then just mash already made animals together. I have a phoenix that isn’t really a phoenix, but still has the base idea of one. I have a weird rabbit-frog. Give everything wings! Maybe gills? But do look into the animals you’re mashing together. Or don’t, but if you have the anatomy down, it’ll be so much easier. Also, what are these animals like? What do they do? Are they carnivorous? My rabbit-frog is an omnivore, but usually eats the leaves on top of the trees it lives under, it’s a generally peaceful animal, and a cute pet(if you can keep it in the yard without it hopping out, that is.) Now, feel free to use that idea if you like, it’s a cute sounding animal, go and change it around! I don’t mind. I doubt they’ll have the same name or exact habits anyway. Don’t forget natives and pests!

Something not many think about, especially in fantasy worlds, are solar systems. Now, I mentioned that the gods live on a planet each, they aren’t the planet, but they chill there. So, yeah, I have a solar system. How many planets would it have? How many suns? Moons? How close is the moon to the world? How close is the world to the sun? Is it possible to inter space travel, or do they just know of planets and stars? Maybe they don’t know of planets! This is completely optional, but a cool thing to tack on!

Does your specific world have any plants? Native plants are important as well. I won’t be finding a cactus casually growing on a heavily jungle based island, that’s a little strange. You can also make up plants!

Food and beverages. Now, making up food can be harder, easier with made up plants and animals. Does your land have a traditional food? A native plant? A native animal? Maybe a certain animal is sacred and eating it is taboo, or maybe eating it will grant you special abilities or gifts?

A weird detail, I have potions. I have the method to making it, the ingredients, how much of something as well, and most importantly, what the potion does. This can tie into foods and beverages. One of my potions is a “Prophetic Coma” type, basically, it puts you in a coma where you can have a prophetic dream. I’ve used a mix of real things and made up. (my rabbit-frog’s blood can make you experience hallucinations, so that’s an ingredient to help urge a prophetic dream), look into natural remedies and things as well,like drinking warm milk helps you sleep, so maybe that’s an element in a sleeping potion?

Another weird detail is spiritual means. You know, like tarot cards and the like. One of mine is you climb up steps, and depending on whether or not the step is polished, cracked, or crumbling depends on the answer you get. Another is a simple rune throw. You can make up new ones or use already made ones.

History is fun! No one remembers anything as it happens. Have wild stories between normal ones, have people recount things differently. In fact, my “lost kingdom” really isn’t so lost, people are just kind of dumb with history. Look into history yourself, maybe there was a war? What’s the aftermath of that?

Magic! How does your magic work? Is it natural? Man-made? In one of my WIPs spell tomes are rare, and magic uses the power of your soul, so it’s rarely used. How do you use it? Is it a natural wave of the hand? Maybe simply thinking? Are there wands? Staffs? Staves? Tomes? Specific symbols and sigils? Do you say a spell name?

Now, getting into some dark territory here. Is there racism in your world? Sexism? Any specific hate towards any specific group? I personally don’t have any of that, it’s not my style. But if you’re writing in modern day Earth, there will be that. That doesn’t mean you have to write it! You can avoid it entirely! That’s what I’m doing. Besides, if my MC went around getting misgendered the whole time, that’d take away the real story. Only put these in if you think it’s 100% needed.

Wow, this is long! Sorry about that! This is what I’ve done to build my world, and you don’t have to do all of these, or any! This isn’t in any way a “you have to do this” it’s simply my own methods in making lore and worlds. Truthfully, not all of my WIPs have all of these elements. And some share things! That’s okay! Feel free to add or correct anything! We’re all learning!

So, please, take this as you will, I hope I helped some, and thanks for reading! It turned out way longer than I initially thought it would. If I miss out anything, I’ll make a part 2! They’re WIPs for a reason, I’m still working on them! I also might make a post on map-making if y’all want.

#writing #Writing tips #writer #writer tips #writing problems #writer problems #writeblr #lore #world building #religion #animals #plants #fantasy #books #history #magic #wip #map #map making #Writer Things

[janustrash1]

my sides (masterpost)

hey, sorry that i haven't been posting at all recently. life has taken a bit of a slip downhill and things like my sleep schedule have been really out of wack.  to make up for it i’ve decided to talk about and introduce you guys to some very special characters of mine. my sides.

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before i introduce them, i’d like to talk about what they mean to me.  i got really into sanders sides at a very low point in my life. at this point i already had four characters that i considered my version of the main four sides. they didnt represent anything yet. i only knew that each of them were my version of a respective side. i had also started counselling at this point, and ended up talking to my councillor about sanders sides and how much i love the show and the dynamic. she encouraged me to take these characters and break them down into their essentials. making my first four sides. 

i would talk to my sides whenever i needed to figure something out. i was able to take the multitude of thoughts going through my head and divide them off into things that each side was saying. this made everything much easier to manage in my head as it was basically the equivalent of talking to friends. however a year passed and a new train of thought started occurring. i tried applying it to an existing side but that didnt work so, i made a new one, my fifth side. 

more recently, around the start of this year, i started having some, unpleasant, things happen with my mental state. i would hyper focus on too many things at once, meaning that i got little to no work done, i started having worsening intrusive thoughts, and i just all around felt a bad presence. once again, none of my sides were the ones causing this so, a new onw was made. my sixth and as of writing this, newest side.

my sides are a genuine coping mechanism for me. i have a rare profile of autism that makes it hard to understand my own emotions, and the sides help with that. they also act as someone i can tell everything to, and just generally help me feel less alone from time to time. im putting a lot out here to share a secret that i keep from most with the world, i would appreciate it if you guys would treat me just the same as always.  side note: yes my sides have different genders and some arent the same as me biologically. they are made like this to capture how some of these aspects of me can sometimes be more prevalent depending on how i present myself. it also just made sense to me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyways, now that we know where they came from. i would like to introduce you to them. first up, The four Main sides

Opal (Optimism)

opal is probably the happiest side in the mindscape. she represents my happiness and excitement, as well as some of the content and calm feelings, often relating to my image. before Allison, she was the one to offer words of encouragement when things slipped up. some of the sides refer to her as “Mom” and Allison will often just call her “Wife” Opal wears a lot of pale pink and soft greys, not really one for bright or bold colours, she has an assortment of different headbands and bows but is most often seen wearing a pink cat ear headband. she is a Pan Cis Woman and uses She/Her pronouns

Ray (Reasoning)

Ray represents everything about me that doesnt revolve around my imagination, as well as some things that do. they are my sense of reasoning, there to talk me out of an impossible situation and ground me back to reality. they are here to make plans and help me stay physically and mentally well in the most efficient way possible. i would say that they are the most like a canon side out of all of them, having an uncanny resemblance to Logan as far as function is concerned. they are the “left brain” of the sides. they wear a light blue polo shirt, keeping the collar in place with a neatly knotted scouts neckerchief. they are the only side to actually wear glasses, even though i myself need them but often dont wear them. they are biologically genderless and use Them/They pronouns.

Cameron (Confidence)

Cameron is the most eccentric of all the sides, constantly bellowing his ideas in the most sing-songy, theatrical voice. he is the brightest and most determined, constantly suggesting new and “foolproof” plans to get big and become famous. unfortunately, these “foolproof” plans are often made by a fool. He doesnt always see the bigger picture, much like Opal, he always keeps his eyes on the prize, to such an extent that he often skips steps in his plan. he often wears fancy blue jackets, but his more casual wear is a royal blue button up over a white t shirt. He is a Cis man who uses He/Him pronouns. 

Percival (Paranoia)

Percival, or as we all call them, Percy, is the most quiet and reserved out of all of the sides, only kicking off when something could go wrong. when they were first created, they would do this constantly, however as time has progressed they have realised how this can be a hinderance more than a help, and has taken to not really speaking unless necessary. they are one of the ImagiSiblings, along with Ivory, they were temporarily separated as i got older however, and now they are quite scared of what ivory has become and will keep their distance when possible, but has shown that they very much can still be a brilliant older sibling to the younger side. they are often wrapped in a red blanket, with a black long sleeved shirt and leggings poking out from underneath. when they have to leave the house however, they throw on a red plaid hoodie and a black facemask, a new addition to their wardrobe. they are also biologically genderless and use Them/They pronouns.

now, my fifth side, created around a year and a half after the main 4

Allison (Protection) (Formerly Anger)

Allison was first created as a way to filter out some of the more angry and violent thoughts in my head and make sense of them. they never really seemed like the violent type, more like a protective mother, a role that they very much fulfil better, therefore they were recently changed and allowed to focus more on protecting me and my friends. they have a lot of.... violent suggestions, but they do genuinely care for me and  often stay up with me during sleepless nights, helping me get through the following day. they often wear an oversized blue shirt under an even more oversized black cardigan with a black trilby/fedora hat, sometimes switching the hat out for a plain beanie in the winter. they also carry my headphones in case i need a reminder that i always have music as a way to control my thoughts. they are an AFAB Demigirl and uses Them/They pronouns with female titles (miss, mom etc.)

and finally, my newest side, created around march of this year

Ivory (Impulse)

Ivory was created to explain the constant creative itch i get whenever there are too many ideas. they started off as a sweet, excitable child, but are quick to change when they dont get their way. they are able to shapeshift and will sometimes become threatening and scary if the creative itch isnt met to their standards. they are also the source of most of my intrusive thoughts, often thinking that their suggestions will help. overall they are probably the most dangerous side and we still do not know much about them. their clothes often change but one thing that always remains is a jacket that i actually own covered in various embroidery and collected patches. sometimes this will be worn over a simple t-shirt, sometimes over a black button up. they are the youngest of the sides, being around 10 physically. im not yet sure of their gender  but they seem to like Them/They pronouns

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and there you have it. theres my sides. it honestly feels good to have written this all down and have it in a convenient place to be able to show people. i hope you like them just as much as i do, if you have any further questions feel free to send me an ask or re-blog this post.

thank you so much to any of you who have read this far, i really appreciate it. 

#sanders sides #sanderssides #thomassanders #thomas sanders #@thatsthat24 #my sides #mysides #my sanders sides #mysanderssides #characters #original characters #ocs #masterpost

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we’re partners in this.

so titans 2.12 was mostly about (awkwardly) moving pieces around to get them in place for a grand finale. it was great! but also awkward. but great! let’s talk about it, if you don’t mind:

SPOILERS ahead.

1. i apologise for going off on a tangent right off the bat, but i just had this weird bit of insight about this show’s universe and it’s kind of hilarious. so you know those clickbaity articles about titans fucking up its worldbuilding by having its characters be so blase about protecting their superhero identities? (screenrant and cbr have inundated my newsfeed. oh good lord the pain. the agony.) maybe that’s just how It’s Meant To Be. batman and robin have been around for at least a decade and a half; the big bat’s likely been around for longer. the justice league is a sophisticated organisation with connections, representation and influence on worldly affairs. no doubt there has been countless battles and alien invasions--to the point where superheroes have become so ingrained in public life that their identities are semi-public knowledge but Nobody Gives A Shit. it’s like asking folks about their local legislators--people are aware that they exist and perform a Function in society and that a minimal amount of research would reveal who they are, but most aren’t keen on/interested in doing that. as a result, keeping up a secret identity isn’t the priority it used to be. and That’s Fine! the titans universe is its own beast with its own internal mechanics and as long as it’s internally consistent, let it deviate from its comic origins as much as it wants to.

oh typical emmram, i can hear you say. scrambling for explanations to excuse careless writing and plot holes. well, dear Strawman I Just Made Up, you may be partially right--there was a time when i would’ve waved my ‘the author is dead’ flag, but (i like to think) i’ve matured since then. but also: have you considered that plot holes aren’t really plot holes if you can successfully use what’s been established about a story’s universe to explain them away and that it’s significantly more fun? 

with this background in mind, i can appreciate more than ever that titans plays out more like an intense, soapy family drama (with perhaps higher stakes than your average soap). this was never a show about a bunch of disparate heroes coming together and finding purpose in order to defeat a common enemy. this was always about a bunch of kids who grew up in a world where vigilantism and superheroing and magic and alien invasions are just an accepted part of life, and the deeply dysfunctional ways they keep coming together and pinballing away, over and over again. there’s no point where each of the characters have definitely Gotten Over Their Issues so they can all gather together to defeat the big bad; it’s why this late in the game we can have rachel looking for people to connect to and relate with that aren’t a series of adults who claim to protect her but only keep her in the dark; hank at the bottom of a self-destructive spiral; dick barely picking himself up from rock bottom, and kory falling apart at the seams. 

so anyway, that’s it on this edition of Emmram Tries To Give A Grand Unifying Theory of Titans; let’s move on to the actual episode.

2. rose’s story could’ve been so good, you guys. actually you know what, scratch that (she types, on a computer while having 20+ years’ experience in knowing how to use the backspace key), it’s a great story that got muddled in the process of the show trying to tell a number of great stories all at once. this season has been inexorably building up to dick grayson becoming nightwing, using his unreliable narration to build up suspense as we see him battle personal hangups and the fallout from literal decades of trauma to gain a sense of equilibrium and a renewal of purpose (it can be argued that even now, on the cusp of actually putting on that dang costume, he hasn’t really learned anything--but i’ll get to that later). if this is the main story that this season is trying to tell, then taking two gigantic detours for episode-long flashbacks and building up to jericho’s death as much as they did makes perfect sense. it also makes sense to set slade up as a foil to dick, in that they are both caught up in their heads and make self-absorbed decisions to protect their ‘children’ but dick comes through with the realisation that that’s a crock of bullshit. 

but that’s not the case, is it? there are so many things going on at once but they’re all orbiting around this throughline of ‘dick becoming nightwing’ and so we only get the barest glimpses of some relatively complex character motivations and development going on with the others. 

2.25. in this episode’s flashback (we’re still getting flashbacks! in literally the penultimate episode of the season! god i have never wanted to take a red pen to anything more) we come to a number of weighty realisations: the extent of rose’s powers, her feelings of otherness, her desire to connect with her father so that she doesn’t feel alone in her otherness, how desperate she is to connect with him--so much so that she’s willing to throw away her entire life and undergo physical mutilation in service of his revenge plan--and how...learning exactly how her brother died and... being with jason??? made her change her mind??? ok that last one’s a bit muddled, but i’ll try and make sense of it.

as far as i can see, there are four big turning points in rose’s story so far:

a) that moment in the car when slade invites rose to join him and reveals that he’s basically been funding her ‘normal’ middle class life till that point. i can imagine how destabilising that realisation might be to rose, and why she might think going along with slade, no matter how weird and how abrupt, is how she’s going to live a life true to who she is

b) but imagine actually being taken in by the titans, being given shelter and support and succour by a group that her father had described as ruthless and manipulative. i can imagine her still being on board with slade’s plan, but maybe the reason she didn’t do all that she could’ve possibly done while at the tower to sabotage the titans might be because she’s actually interacting with these people, and while they might be a Hot Mess, they aren’t actively cruel or vindictive. i wish the show had woven in more scenes of rose interacting with the others, of her learning intimate things about their pasts, of her bonding with the younger titans’ struggle with their own ‘freakish’ natures. rose hardly seems to have any presence at all after her intro episode, and that’s a pity.

c) dick’s confession about what actually happened with slade and jericho. it’s more complicated than she was lead to believe--her father was actually complicit in her brother’s death. it’s a very confusing moment for rose, who’s already (probably) feeling the first stirrings of guilt, unsure, really, about her devotion to the father and brother that she’s known only for a little longer than the titans themselves, and slowly coming to the sick realisation that slade used her as a pawn in his game against the titans. 

d) jason latching onto rose is understandable--he saw her as the only person making the effort to connect with him when he was feeling vulnerable and rejected by almost everybody else. jason practically bleeds a need for connection and acceptance. i don’t think rose anticipated that jason would come with her, or be as attached to her as he is--but she sees in him a sensitive and struggling soul baring his heart to her, and in herself the kind of deception and secrecy that she’d originally wanted to rebel against. so she finally comes clean with him, and thinks they should help the titans against her father.

i mean. i might be making some assumptions (actually i’m making a lot of assumptions, to be fair), but i’m just trying to work with what the show’s given us, which is... not insubstantial, but haphazard enough that it’s easy to forget that rose exists sometimes. 

3. i fell asleep right after watching this episode for the first time, and apparently at some point before actually sleeping i appear to have had some kind of Great Insight about it because in the notes app on my phone i typed in “dick bruce concept of justice” with no further explanation.

i’ve spent the better part of this evening trying to retrace my train of thought, and i think it went like this: essentially, i was curious that dick was so broken up about jericho dying that he banished himself to a five year long lonely journey to seek penance that ended with him voluntarily getting himself arrested, but didn’t seem all that cut up about zucco dying or basically ordering the deaths of the scientists at the asylum in 1.07. betraying jericho and the older titans’ trust in him is a far greater burden on him than being responsible for the death of people who have wronged him or hurt the people he loves. but this is also a man who has internalised batman’s mission and ethos for the better part of his life, so he can’t actually come out and admit that. instead the two things come together to form one conclusion: he killed jericho, and he must be punished for it. 

(i also imagine locking himself away in prison was a result of growing up under the influence of batman--who responded to trauma by embarking on rigorous, brutal, solitary journey of penance and extreme self-discipline. batman doesn’t ask for help. batman goes to the batcave and rides it out.)

so when dick finally breaks himself out of jail, it isn’t because he’s come to a great realisation about his self-destructive behaviour (although he’s aware of it on some subconscious level); it’s because he realised the thing he was punishing himself for didn’t actually happen. he hasn’t really learnt a lesson. to be fair, he would need some pretty intensive therapy to untangle the things running through his head, so it seems quite believable that this is the way he gets back on his feet in time to be nightwing.

4. i know people think that the conversation between rachel and kory was awkward, and uh, it kinda was a little bit, but it makes sense that they can talk like that to each other. rachel wants to protect dick but feels confident enough with kory to lash out at her; kory is unafraid to be vulnerable or sad around rachel which just feeds into the trust that rachel has in kory. i don’t know, i thought that conversation was a nice way to both re-establish this dynamic and give some insight into what kory’s feeling.

5. god, mercy graves--a family woman!--tenderly wiping the blood off gar’s chin after having turned him into her own personal killing machine is just... so unsettling on so many levels.

5.5. it continues to KILL me that gar had so much faith in the titans right up to the very moment he had his fucking skull opened up and his brains messed with against his will: an undeserving loyalty to a family who took his easygoing acceptance of their shitty treatment of him at face value and essentially threw him to the wolves. how do you even start recovering from this? i feel like we’ve gone past the point where a few heart-to-hearts could help.

6. man, hank spiralling the way he did was too brutal to be anything but deeply uncomfortable. i’m sure the teenager who bought hank’s suit from him was supposed to inspire hank and remind him of his place and purpose as a titan, but it came off as kind of a cruel joke. hank has been putting his body out on the firing line over and over and over again, and his lesson is to be told that he isn’t putting himself out there enough? yikes.

7. stu and lily and their collective disdain for dick grayson’s drama are my new favourite characters on the show and deserve their own damn spin-off. MAKE IT HAPPEN DC

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #rose wilson #dick grayson #koriand'r #jason todd #rachel roth #hank hall #garfield logan

[dragon-kazansky]

A rose in London - Sherlock Holmes

Chapter 16 - “Black magic”

As Sherlock had said, the tunnel was right there. You all climbed out of the boat, John taking lead, you following Irene and Sherlock behind you. The gate was open, so access was easy. You were glad Irene suggested changing into trousers again. There would be a lot more hassle doing this in a skirt.

Right about now both parties will be filling the room and greeting one another. None of them any the wiser as to what was going to happen.

You followed Sherlock down the dark halls. He seemed to know where to go, so you trusted his instinct.

There was voices. You all pressed up against the nearest wall.

"Behold, Blackwood's magic revealed." Sherlock whispered.

"What does it do?" You asked quietly, peeking at the machinery.

"It's a chemical weapon. The first of it's kind." Sherlock explained.

"You deduced that how?" Irene asked. Everyone looked at him.

"From my pocket." He held up a rat tail. "I snipped this off a rather recumbent rat at the slaughterhouse. Note the blue discoloration, the faint smell of bitter almonds. Telltale traces of cyanide."

"Shh." John whispered. You all ducked behind the wall again as someone walked by on the other side.

Sherlock pulled out his pocket telescope and looked at it's mechanics a little closer through it. "Now we know what the ginger midget was working on. It'll revolutionise warfare."

"Yes, killing a lot of people." John added in. "Now, it's seven minutes to noon. What are we gonna do?"

"Right. How many men did you  count on the-" Sherlock whispered, getting cut off by gunshots.

Irene had slipped around the other side of the wall and pulled out her gun. You didn't even see her leave your side.

"She loves and entrance, your muse." John muttered.

"For the record, I have a new muse." Sherlock stated, grabbing your hand and pulling you along as he moved you from that spot. John followed behind you. Sherlock took you with him one way, John splitting off to take cover on the opposite side, both men took out their guns and began to shoot back.

"What should I do?" You asked, wanting to do something useful.

"For now, keep your head down." Sherlock glanced at you. "I must keep you safe."

One of the men in the sewer got close and knocked the gun from Sherlock's hand. The detective had to use his fists now. John and Irene were putting up a good fight on their ends. You hurried around your hiding spot, going back the way you came and hurried over to Irene who was no longer fighting, but looking at the machine. You picked up Sherlock's gun as you passed it.

"Woman! Shoot him. Now, please." Sherlock yelled at Irene.

Irene rolled her eyes and turned her gaze to you. "Be my guest." She smiled at you.

You held up the gun, having never done so before, and aimed at the other man. Sherlock and the man, while fighting, swapped placed and you grew nervous about pulling the trigger. You knew you wanted to help, but using a gun for the first time, here of all places, was not what you meant at all.

You felt a hand on yours as Irene stood behind you and helped you aim.

"Shoot."

You pulled the trigger, shooting the man in the arm, giving Sherlock the advantage. He was able to beat the man and come over. He looked at you rather impressed. You tucked the gun in the waistband of your trousers.

"Nicely done, dear."

You smiled back.

"I had help."

John continued to fight off men as Irene examined the machine. Sherlock knelt down beside her, you kept your wits about you in case John needed assistance.

"I've never seen anything like it. Look at this." Irene held up a coin and held it against the mechanics in full motion. The coin shot out of her, flying across the room at a high speed, making home in a pipe.

"Specifically designed to prevent us from disarming it." Sherlock noted. "These appear to be designed to receive a signal of some sort." He pointed to a cylinder with an aerial of some kind atop it.

"Electromagnetic waves?" Irene suggested.

"When triggered, the electrodes will send a charge converting the chemical into gas. The gas will travel up that shaft and filter through the ventilation system that leads directly to Parliament. Within seconds the most powerful men in the world will be chocking on death. Blackwood must have some transmitter that he can activate remotely. Three minutes, ten seconds." Sherlock checked his pocket watch.

You hoped something could be done within that time.

"We don't actually have to disarm the device... we just have to remove the cylinders." Irene stood up.

"Yes, except that they're welded in." Sherlock pointed out. "What we need id a controlled explosion. We'll need a container to direct the blast. My clay pipe should service that ambition."

A man came flying through the room, causing the three of you to turn around. You felt your jaw drop when the big guy walked in with an axe. The same giant who fought Sherlock in the midget's home.

"Uh oh."

He spotted you three.

Irene held up her gun and shot at him, missing his face twice. Her gun clicked. It was empty.

"I rather wish you hadn't done that, Irene." Sherlock lowered her arm.

The chiming began. Twelve o'clock. It was time.

The machine began to come to life behind you and you looked to Sherlock for answers. When the twelfth chime was done, there would be a lot of dead people upstairs.

"I need your pipe." Irene said, watching as the man put the axe down.

Sherlock looked from you, to him, to Irene, as he handed his pipe over.

Just as the man was removing his coat, John popped up behind him and grabbed his arms.

"Nut him!" John yelled.

Sherlock ran at the man and headbutted him harm. The hit made Sherlock's head go a little fuzzy. He tried to fight back, but fell over, unable to focus.

Irene got to work on the machine.

The boys were taking quite a beating. You ran over to help, trying to get the axe, but the man swung his arm and caused you to topple over. You rolled away just as he brought his foot down, but it landed on Sherlock's arm who was still on the floor. He managed to pull it out from under his foot and got to his feet. John went for the axe, but the man was stronger. He swung John around who landed against Sherlock. Sherlock held John in front of him, you were on the opposite side.

"Right." John said.

"What?" Sherlock asked.

"Coat." John replied.

"Got it."

Both men moved to each side. They used the man's coat to blind him and both took a hit to him. The man pulled the coat away from his face and swung the axe at John, but he missed. He swung for Sherlock, making him fall to the ground. Sherlock rolled out of the way as the axe came down. John jumped the man, but it was doing nothing. The tall man was able to push the doctor away easily.

You grabbed the coat and came up behind the man, covering his face with it and pulling it tight. John got back up to his feet and hurried back over to help you, taking the coat from your hands. He was basically riding the man as the man stood upright. John kept his focus on keeping the coat around his face.

You hurried over to Sherlock and helped him to his feet. Sherlock grabbed the axe, silently asking you to move to the side, and took a swing, but the man had managed to pull the coat away from his face and grab the axe before it hit anything important. Sherlock gave him a kick to his manhood, making the man fall over, bringing Sherlock down with him, thanks to the axe. John still had the coat around his neck as he hit the ground too.

Irene was working as fast as she could over by the machine.

The chiming ended.

Irene pulled out the cylinders and ran off.

"Woman!" Sherlock yelled, watching her leave.

"What are you waiting for?" John yelled at him.

Sherlock grabbed the axe and pulled harshly. A popping sound came from the man's wrist as he groaned in pain.

"That." Sherlock said. "Can you manage?"

"Course I can."

Sherlock got up off the floor and looked at you. "Stay with John."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine." He told you and ran off. You watched him go and then turned to John. He was strangling the man. You couldn't really do much other than let him get on with it.

"Relax... I'm a doctor." John hissed into his ear.

The man fell unconscious on top of John. John relaxed when he realised he was out. You knelt down and used all your strength to push the heavy man off Watson.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

You helped John to his feet.

"We need to get after them." John looked at you. "Are you alright?"

"I'm worried about Sherlock."

"Come on." John offered you his hand and you both ran out of the tunnel.

Tags:

@awyr @fandombeehive @charmed-asylum  @sigynbandraoi-blog  @procrastinatingmurder @madshelily @phantomofhogwarts @photography-to-all

#a rose in london #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes #robert downey jr #chapter 16

[koholinthibiscus]

My Tumblr Journey and mental health

What the hell is this?  Where am I? What do I do and how do I do it?

You often hear of people getting to their 30′s and feeling more comfortable in their skin and just owning, accepting and loving themselves.  Well, maybe it’s because I need psychotherapy, and maybe it’s because I’ve come into adulthood in a period with huge economic and political upheaval as well as a pandemic; but I don’t feel that way.  I feel simultaneously old and young.  clueless about young things (like tmblr) and clueless about old things (like mortgages... even though I have one) 

I’ve deleted Facebook and use twitter sparingly these days so the reason joined this site is to purely vent.  To write my thoughts out and send them into the internet ether to languish, probably ignored.  But just getting it out might make all the difference to my physical and mental well being so I’m just going to give it a shot and see where things go. 

I feel terribly alone and isolated.  I have a type of social anxiety that you probably wouldn't notice.  You might just think I’m an idiot or a bitch.  You might barely acknowledge my existence.  I’m pretty average so I may not register.  But when I’m done talking I will think and think and think about it.  How did I come across?  why the fuck did I say that?  You think I’m a fucking idiot don’t you?  I will simply torture myself forever and ever.  And I avoid social interaction, especially with new people, as much as I can.  I can just about manage in a workplace setting but all my energy for this is taken up with that. 

I feel unheard, unseen and unsatisfied.  I feel a lump in my throat and a weight in my chest.  I feel exhausted and headachey most of the time.  I can’t bear this current situation.  I have a visceral hate for my country.  I can’t bear sad news.  I can’t cope with news that implicates humans as ignorant, unsympathetic, inhumane creatures.  I feel deep sadness at the existential threat our planet faces and confusion and sadness when I realise that barely anyone in my real life feels the same urgency and guilt.  I have changed my lifestyle (probably not enough) to try and alleviate the guilt but it hasn’t worked.  

So I get into things to try and distract myself; fandoms, stories, subjects, video games, novels and I feel sad about it because I feel useless “not good at it” or that they’re a waste of time.  I hate myself so much that my hobbies make me sad. How stupid is that?  I’ve recently been getting into DnD during lock down and watching critical role.  I enjoy it but it makes me sooooo sad and jealous that I don’t have a strong friend group like that who can enjoy playing DnD with the same level of fun, ease and camaraderie.  It literally hurts my heart and I’ve been feeling weird for days.  So I’ve tried to make myself better by consuming things.  I’ve bought a new set of dice and bought some unrelated books.  

I skip from one subject or thing to the next feeling unsatisfied and discontent.  I don’t practice things, I don’t finish things.  I give up. And I feel like I’m giving up at life. I am lazy and stupid.  My hobbies, likes and interests feel like a plaster over a gaping wound and was working but it’s not any more. Getting lost in a fantasy world just makes me feel sad I can’t create my own or be with a group of friends, either on line or on person where I can create together. 

I am petrified of parent hood.  I have an amazing 3 year old.  She is a marvel. But I have a constant dread of failing her. Doing too much, doing too little.  I want her to strive for happiness.  Take on hard things, work at things till she’s good at them, whatever it may be.  I honestly don’t care what as long as she enjoys it, has a passion for it and is ultimately happy.  I want to push her, but I don’t want to push her too much.  I worry about sending wrong messages.  I worry about not doing enough with her.  I do not want to bring her up the way that my mother brought me up. I am terrified of repeating the same mistakes. 

I’m ultimately a kind person who is trying their best but can’t unleash my true potential due to depression, anxiety and self-confidence issues.  I get so angry and sad at people who don’t follow the same ideals as me.  which.... isn’t ideal.  I can’t stand TERFs, racists, ableists, misogynists, right wing people, climate change deniers, ignorant people.  I can’t stand it when people think that poor people only have themselves to blame.  I hate capitalism and colonialism.  I want to change the way the world operates even if it is to my detriment as a white CIS English women living in comfort.  I feel trapped in suburbia where nothing changes and no one looks or is different.  

I don’t mean to fetishize certain communities with that statement and I reliaze that it’s probably ignorant of me to suggest that everyone is the same too, given that I struggle to interact with people.  And I’m not suggesting that I’m some sort of special flower  or that ‘I’m not like other women’ (eeww) either, I know there are people out there I would probably get on with but like I say, I struggle.

It frustrates me when people don’t feel the same way politically.  I think that people’s politics are based on their morals so I struggle with conservatives for example.  I don’t understand them or where they come from.  I want things that people need to be owned by the public and free at the point of access, healthcare being the main one and I fear for the future of the NHS.  Yes, even if it means higher taxes (but I obviously want the super rich taxed more) I don’t believe billionaires should exist.  I want universal basic income.  If the human race keeps breeding, if we keep suffering from pandemics, if we progress technologically to the point where mechanization is even more prevalent, we will not need people to have jobs.  We need UBI to level the playing field.  And I want a vegan world.  All of the above makes my head swim with anger and despair.  What type of world will my child have to endure when she gets to my age?  I fucking hope it’s better than this.  I can honestly say that I believe I am on the right side of history with my politics.  It is ultimately about being kind and humane.  But no... I’m probably seen as a soft SJW snowflake keyboard warrior twat by my family (which is why I went off facebook).  Even though I have a masters in Gender studies and a career in social justice work, but sure, I’m just after the ‘internet points’ or want to look ‘woke’.  I feel like not many people truly know me and if they do know all of the above and don’t like what  they see,  I don’t know man, that kills me.  I want people to think well of me. I want people to think I am a good person. 

I could yap on for ages about this honestly but it would make little sense.

I think I wanted to start this as a place to get my feelings down because I am starting a journey of therapy soon.  My sessions should begin in September but I feel the need to get stuff out now.  I’m having a bit of a shit time in my head right now and I felt like I would burst. 

I’m already worried that I will appear stupid and self centered.  There is nothing particularly wrong with my life.  I have a good job that I love but am also petrified of it and of getting it wrong so I self sabotage, worry and don’t believe in my abilities and I’ve been doing that since college.  (I need to un pack how I feel about work and my actions around it, I have a lot of thoughts, maybe for another time) 

I pick the spots on my face till they become angry red welts, I pick the skin around my nails till they get infected and then I hate myself for how I look, even though it was my fault in the first place.  I don’t shower, don’t wash my face, don’t get enough sleep then look in the mirror and see my greasy lank hair, baggy grey eyes and bad skin and I just hate myself.  Is this an analogy for the entirety of my personality? I am my own worst enemy and I need to give myself a fucking break.  Easier said than done. 

Things to unpack in therapy: 

My work 

My politics and how I interact, deal with people who don’t feel the same way as me

My child hood and family dynamics - It’s fucked up y’all. 

My Child

My husband 

My past relationship

The sick thing I do at night when i think about horrible things, like the death of my child for no god damn reason. (Is it punishment?) 

It’s frustrating being so aware of my issues and not feeling able to do anything about it. 

It’s probably an effect of lock down but I have been feeling really bad consistently for a very long period of time now and it’s exhausting.  I always have peaks and troughs, feel great to OK for sometimes a good few months then it just comes down on me like a bag of hammers and I feel like death for 2-4 weeks.  

I’ve been having those hiccups more often and for longer.  I’m so fucking tired man.  A couple of months ago a I had a terrible headache for 4 days, could barely move and felt tearful all the time.  I just thought it was a migraine attack at the time (which I very very rarely have) but I coincided with a particular event that I’m not ready to talk about (It’s really not that juicy it’s quite fucking pathetic actually) and I think it was a major depressive episode. 

I think I’m done now, I’m emotionally exhausted after reading this through and my throat hurts from trying not to cry.  Maybe this is the start of my tumblr journey maybe I’ll delete it all in a few days I don’t know.  I had to try something. 

#mentalhealth depresson anxiety tumblrnovice isthishowhastgaswork?

[miikiiiiiiiiii]

Review: Log Horizon

I recently got interested in checking out Log Horizon, after it being out for quite a long period of time. (I know I’m pretty late to the party, being almost 6 years since the first season) I wasn’t interested in it when it first came out because I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of isekai back then, and to be honest even now.

Well to my surprise, I enjoyed this show more than I had expected going in, and even craved for more episodes to watch. (Season 3 is coming out this year!)

If a person like me can love this show, you might also get sucked into the world of Log Horizon. You never know before you try it, amirite?

Perspectives and Moods

So I strongly believe that a person’s perspective and the state on mind highly affects the enjoyment of a certain show. I’m sure that there are many viewers like me that were turned off initially by this gem of a show because we all thought it was a copy of a more popular anime at that time, Sword Art Online. Or maybe you were intimidated by all the unknown game logic and lingo mentioned in the anime.

Thanks to one of my friends who was an avid player of MMORPGs getting me interested in the game genre and the mechanics and basics of an MMORPG, I greatly enjoyed this show and understood most of what the show was trying to portray with getting stuck in an MMOPRG and making use of the loopholes in the rules of the game.

Overall, this show hit all the right notes at the right time for me and ended up being a pretty cracky watch. I was actually quite sad to know that I would have to wait just a bit longer for Season 3 to come. (Oh well, what can we do about that?)

Stuff I liked

1. The ever-growing Log Horizon ensemble cast.

I loved how the show takes its time introducing us to the characters that are central and important to the story going forward. There is the main male lead, Shiroe, the guy awkward at social interactions but is also a brilliant strategist, Naotsugu, the enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky guy, as well as Akatsuki, the stoic and silent assassin but having a pretty cute personality. There are more, but will only list them in the spoilery parts of this review. These three characters are the first few characters to be introduced in the show and immediately you see how they work well with each other. On paper, their personalities are so different that you would expect conflicts left and right, but the show makes it clear from the start that they would form a bond so strong that nothing can ever break it.

SPOILER WARNING

As early as the second episode, you can see how Naotsugu and Akatsuki, despite only meeting for the first time recently, have fallen into this friendly banter, despite it being quite lewd with Naotsugu being a pervert and Akatsuki being very peeved about it. Somehow this banter doesn’t feel forced like in other shows I’ve watched and comes quite naturally. I also like how Shiroe, who was introduced as the socially awkward one, being the one to become the bridge that starts this friendship.

END OF SPOILER

There are so many characters worth mentioning, but if I do list them all with what I loved about them, this review will be crazy long. The characters all have chemistry and none of them feel like a caricature, despite being characters in an anime. I have to say, nicely done.

2. Shiroe

Shiroe is introduced at the start of the story being socially awkward, kinda like a lone wolf. He doesn’t want any association to any guild and the one time he was associated to a group, it wasn’t even a guild. Right from the start the anime shows you how strong he is, being level 90 and having friends that are ALSO level 90, such as Naotsugu, Akatsuki, Marielle, Henrietta (I think? I might be remembering this wrongly) The anime also implies that he is quite well known in the MMORPG world of Elder Tale.

He also starts to make connections and learn more about the world of Elder Tale that he might not have known before and makes use of the knowledge he has learnt to make this new world that they are trapped in liveable.

More that that though, as the anime progresses, you get to see his growth and deepen his friendships with his friends. There is nothing too devastating that happens in Log Horizon, but the setbacks that the main cast do face alongside Shiroe does make him mature and come out the other side a better person.

SPOILER WARNING

One of the events that stuck out to me is how he realised that inventing new magic in the world of Elder Tale is possible by observing how Nyanta is able to cook food that tastes good. He then proceeds to use that knowledge to his advantage and invents new magic that only he could perform at that point in time, contracts. I felt that this shows how smart Shiroe is in making connections that others may not have made, and how he gathers his information by observation.

I also liked the dorky side of Shiroe, especially his love for curry. He may seem like the stoic one in his friendship with Naotsugu, but deep down both of them are equally dorky and thus causes both of them to connect so well.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching his growth as well, from a guy who was a lone wolf and wanted nothing to do with guilds, to becoming a guy who STARTS his own guild. I also liked how even though he was slowly opening up to his friends that he doesn’t immediately become like an open book. He is still quite guarded, as shown by how he didn’t want to let them know his plan when he left Akihabara with Naotsugu to get the finances needed for the maintenance of the town. It is only after losing the raid and realising that he needs to learn to open up and trust in his friends more that he finally opens up and informs them about his motives. This growth feel quite organic and believable, making Shiroe seem more human. I hafta say, I really liked this aspect of the show.

END OF SPOILER

3. Akatsuki

At the start, Akatsuki was quite bland. I thought she was going to be the stereotypical loli girl that is exceptionally good at what she does and becomes peeved when people mistake them for being a young child. To my surprise as the show went on, she quickly rose the ranks of my favourite characters in Log Horizon and stayed at second place until the end of Season 2. (Number 1 is Shiroe, so being number 2 is a pretty good feat!)

Her character got more focus and development in Season 2 compared to Season 1, and although I wish she could have more development in Season 1, I’m actually happy with where she ended up and how she grew and matured until the end of Season 2.

SPOILER WARNING

Right from the first episode, you learn that her avatar in Elder Tale was a tall and lean muscular man. Even though it is a minor detail, I liked how it was subtle foreshadowing for the insecurities she had in real life about her appearance. The constant gags of people calling her ‘shrimp’ were played for comedy but also foreshadowed the insecurity she has about her stature.

In Season 2, we learn that she has low self esteem and felt like she needed to be good at what she does to remain by Shiroe’s side. Because of this insecurity, she also didn’t make any effort to make connections with the other members of the guild and withdrew deeper into her shell.

It is only when she dies and fights the serial killer that she realises that the reason why Shiroe didn’t take her along for the raid was not because she was a burden, but that Shiroe relied on her to take care of the princess. She also regains her confidence and also comes to a realisation that her short stature isn’t a disadvantage, but a unique trait that she has. She starts to open up about her insecurities to the other members and made their bond even stronger.

Although many shows and anime do discuss the theme of self confidence and self love, I like how it never became preachy and instead showed a natural growth in Akatsuki to demonstrate this point. This not only made Akatsuki seem more relatable, but also makes this message more memorable for viewers.

END OF SPOILER

What can I say, I love characters that feel human and relatable.

4. Character moments

I can’t list all of them, or else this post will become WAY too long. So I’m going to list some of my favourites. Of course, SPOILERS INCOMING.

The overall bromance between Naotsugu and Shiroe. A good bromance is always a nice breath of fresh air, in my opinion.

When the mini training camp squad realises that Rundelhaus is actually a Person from the Land and will not revive when he died like the rest of them. I cried so hard there were no more tears to be cried.

The blossoming romance between Marielle and Naotsugu, with their daily 9pm telepathic talks when Naotsugu went on the raid.

The friendship that is coming to be between Krusty and Raynessia. You have no idea how sad I was when Krusty disappeared!

The way how Isuzu held Rundelhaus’s hand when he was going to sign the contract to become an adventurer because he was too weak to do so by himself. Also the fact that he is laying in her lap… I was crying because he was dying but also excited simultaneously because they are so cute! Okay, my fangirling may have gone too far.

When Rundelhaus was so happy to become an adventurer simply because he wants to help others in need, and not for glory or the immortality. He’s such a cutie pie.

Demikas starting out as a pretty shitty guy, bullying the NPCs to becoming a valuable player in the raid. Also his wife, who’s a Person from the Land, being able to subdue him and calm him down.

Also Nyanta. Is there more to be said? He’s so cool~

Moving on!

5. Game mechanics and the mystery elements

I admit, I’m a noob when it comes to MMOPRGs. I do know the basics, but nothing more than that. I’m more of a singleplayer RPG, visual novel kinda person.

The show explains the game mechanics in very simple terms and even a non MMOPRG player like myself could understand the logic. Shiroe alsomanages to find the loopholes and slowly become stronger because of that. Unlike some protagonists that are strong simply because.

The mystery element of the show and how the players got stuck into the world of Elder Tale is also very compelling. The players slowly learn more about this new reality that they are stuck in and learns that the world may be more different than when they were playing the game. This makes the question of ‘how did they get stuck in the game’ and ‘who caused them to get stuck in the game’ become a mystery that needs solving, and not just a plot device used.

Log Horizon is quite clever, much more than I had expected going into the anime.

Stuff I didn’t like

Honestly, I had to REALLY nitpick at this section. There were so many things to love about this show. SPOILER WARNING!

The anime starts off quite abruptly. Without any context whatsoever, you see Shiroe waking up in the world inside a game. He ponders his situation for a bit before realising he can contact Naotsugu. He meets up with Naotsugu and talks to him familiarly.

Even though you know there is backstory regarding them both, you can’t help but feel as if you were missing certain pieces to the puzzle. It’s almost like someone asking you how a puzzle looks like without even you having the pieces to the said puzzle. The pieces do come as the story progresses, however, so this feeling of abruptness doesn’t last long.

The final verdict

Full of action, and lots of nice character moments. Game mechanics are explained simply for noobs to MMOPRG player and can be enjoyed by anyone. Highly reccomended!

#anime #loghorizon #review #shiroe #akatsuki #naotsugu #rundelhaus #log horizon #reviews #manga #light novel #gaming #game #isekai #ship #shipping #otp #anime girl #anime boy #anime man #anime glasses #glasses

[pinkbutterfly84]

Scorpion Season 1

I have watched Scorpion several times and thought I would post about each episode, favourite moments, quotes, thoughts questions I have!

This will be heavily quintis based as I love their relationship ❤

Not done this before so here goes.........

1.01 - one of the best pilot episodes I've seen was hooked from the start. Loved seeing the relationships from the beginning Happy and Toby had chemistry from the start

Sneaky cameo from the real Walter o'Brian, caring Paige, OCD Sylvester, Cocky Toby, Insensitive Walter and Snarky Happy

Question: is that how Eddie runs or does he run like that as Toby always makes me laugh?

Favourite scene - server scene with Happy and Toby it showed Toby's unique profiling skills

Favourite quote Happy " I hate you" Toby "no you dont"

1.02 - start to see the characters back stories Toby with his gambling, Walter and Megan, Happy being abandoned and remembering it and Cabe and the loss of his daughter

Happy seemed jealous of Toby keeping current with his ex fiancee

Toby bites his nails when he is nervous or worried you see it for the first time in this episode

Favourite scene - happy and toby in the truck talking about love

You see Happy sharing personal details with Toby starting to show the depth of their friendship

Favorite quote - Toby "Earl knows his way around a hoagie"

I love that Sly gives his pay cheque away money isn't everything

Loved meeting Megan bought out a softer side of Walter

Wished Toby was at the BBQ instead of gambling think he realised it was ok to move on from Amy

1.03 - meeting Merrick for the first time who doesn't like Scorpion

Happy assaulting a Marine is hilarious

Happy feeling up Toby to take money is a good insight into their future

Happy and Toby reading together is so cute

Favourite quote - "be determined to have a great day and you will"

"Mensa please there are pornstars in mensa"

Favourite scene - end scene Scorpion is a family like a Cyclone

1.04 - Walters interpersonal skills in this episode are seriously lacking from how he speaks to Toby to his flippant dismissal of the card dealer

The way Walter speaks to Toby is out of line gambling is a risk one Walter wanted Toby to take how is it his fault he lost the money. Walter said some hurtful things to Toby it must of hurt to hear them from his supposed best friend

First sign of Toby's attraction to Happy when he makes a comment about having worse views when following her in the vents

Favourite scene - Happy and Toby zip lining to the casino showed happy's skills she made it look so easy and the start of Tony saying 'oh my........'

Favourite quote - "I'm like a blind man at a peep show what's the point"

1.05 - I love this episode get to be introduced to Mark Collins and see Happy truly angry and Toby starting to understand how to help her

Favourite quote- "if this nuclear powerplant doesn't melt down the team might"

Favourite scene- the end scene with the look between Toby and Happy

To me this episode is the starting point of Quintis from the note passed between them to Toby defending Happy to Collins to 'that look' between them at the end. I think that look is when Happy starts thinking of Toby as other than a friend

Question - do you think Happy kept the note? I like to think she has a keepsake section of a toolbox and things like the note goes in there

1.06 - I like how this episode switches between the physic evaluations and the story. It shows how the team all rely on Walter and how much respect they have for him

I feel like Walter uses his lack of emotions as an excuse for his actions

Quick cameo from Hetty from ncis - the dress on Paige looked amazing

This episode also sees the start of Tony's obsession with Happy dressing up

First introduced to super fun guy Sly's love for the action hero is a great character arc

Favourite quote-"you cant make an omelette without breaking a few eggs" or "just starting to see the scope of what's to be done"

Favourite scene-Toby getting crushed by wine bottles gets me everytime

1.07 - The team meets Drew, Ralph's dad the first of several interlopers into the team

Toby's keen perception skills pick up Happys feelings on not knowing her dad. Happy shreds Toby's finding but obviously regrets it and puts it back together

Seeing how much the guys care about Ralph and the impact of Drew coming back is really sweet

Favourite scene- Toby listening to 'Brandy' and singing in the car. Downloaded this song myself love that this show opened my eyes to new music

Favourite quote- "I'm gonna slap it like ot owes me money" or "I'm so turned on" or "serious as a pink freen and dont call me Shirly, BAM that's how you do it Cabe"

1.08 - why does Toby seem so excited to go into a crime scene?

Toby working up the courage to ask out Happy is a very 'normal' fear it puts him out of his comfort zone

Toby in a suit looking fit!

Question - how do you think Happys date went? I like to think she calls Toby after as it went so bad that they meet and go for pie or something

Favourite scene- Paige singing Kat has a really beautiful voice

Favourite quote- Paige"so him jumping the fence" Toby "he's meditating"

1.09 - this episode gives you a back story to Cabes character and his strong family values

Walter has a surprising EQ moment giving cabe the letters Rebecca wrote

Favourite scene- there wasn't one scene in this episode that stood out for me but Robert Patrick's acting definitely was the best of the episode

Favourite quote- "dear lord thank you for this gift"

Walter seems alot more in tune with his emotions and understanding other his relationship with cabe grew during this episode

1.10- probably my favourite episode of season 2

Loved seeing Megan and Sly interact and there friendship develop

Happy must be starting to feel safe around Toby to fall asleep on his shoulder and let her guard down

Walter doesn't know how to process peoples emotions of grief

The end Happy and Toby scene shows Happy needs time and in her way asks Toby not to give up

Favourite quote- ' I'm Happy' ' and I'm dying but you don't see me telling everyone'

Favourite scene- Happy and Toby on the rocks where Toby is sorting Happy's ankle. Toby is being truthful about his feeling and Happy is not sure how to react so they default to there defense mechanisms of wise cracks and putting up a shield

1.11 - I hate to love this episode any episode where Sly is hurt shouldn't be such a good episode but seeing how each member of the team deal with his injuries gives a real insight to their characters

I would of really of liked to see Toby tending to Sly at the scene he always deals with these emergency situations well

Love Megan...... just saying

I like how Toby walks to Happys truck like being by her possessions soothes him

In so many episodes Toby supports Happy and provides comfort in his own way but on this episode Happy is there for Toby when he is struggling to process the events

More scenes with Toby in his underwear please 🔥

Favourite quote- 'I'm taking a minute' ' we dont have a minute' 'I'm taking one any way'

Favourite scene- the end scene where the team are reading comics around Sly bed

1.12 - there are not many episodes where I actually like Walter but this is one of them what he does to save the boy is amazing and shows he doed have feelings

One of the few if only episide I dont like Sly when a kids life is at risk his insecurities should take 2nd place

Love Christmas episodes even with Black sabbath

Does anyone notice Toby putting his hand on Happy's shoulder in the cave to comfort her

Happy always listens to Toby may not seem it at the time but you later find out she has like going to see her father

I wonder if Toby and Happy spend Christmas day together I would like to think they meet and grab a meal at Kavalskis or have a take away

Toby watching Happy leave the hotel room he knows exactly where she is going I often eat h the background scenes more then the main ones

Favourite quote- ' I watch you work sometimes' 'thank you for making this creepy'

Favourite scene- Ralphs present and where Paige gives out her Christmas ornament gifts so many funny quips

1.13 - 1 step forward 2 steps back with Walter this episode shows his naivety with Ralph

Happys face when Toby said he was going to use the van as a make out hut with a lucky lady is it a jealous face or a will that lucky lady be me face??

I love seeing behaviourist Toby just as much as the daft funny one

El Gaupo loves this Sly is hilarious

Favourite quote- 'your no good with your hands, your a spiller'

'I'm rocking so much adrenaline right now my blood is basically redbull'

Favourite scene- this is actually a deleted scene from the dvd out takes happy teaching tobyvto break into a safe and Toby showing her digital surgery shows them wanting to understand each other more

1.14 - love how the genius cannot fathom the text message could be a genuine love messsge

Another jealous moment from Happy the look on her face when Toby ask if the lady owns a catsuit very amusing

Walter looks so uncomfortable talking to Fatima even with Paige in his ear he is clueless

Toby and Happy both looking like they have made an effort in their looks in this episode perhaps for each other??

Question anyone notice how Happy and Toby always stand next to each other or offer yo work together??

Favourite quote- 'did they rush Mozart when he wrote a sonet'

Favourite scene- happy scaling the building 'because she's Happy freaking Quinn'

1.15 - Walter has very selfish view on Ralph potentially moving to Portland he thinks he is the only one who can help Ralph

Toby's skills shine in this episode his facial expressions are hilarious but he manages to stay serious to deal with the situation

Favourite scene- another episode I dont really have a favourite scene it's an ok episode not much Quintis storyline

Favourite quote- 'it's cold hard metal yet so delicate and beatiful' - anyone else thinks Toby is talking about Happy not what she has made

'Andrew' 'its drew actually' 'and Drew is short for what exactly Michael'

1.16- this is a turning point episode for quintis Happy realises Toby is truly interested in exploring something more with her and Toby realises Happy values their friendship and just needs time....... like half a day till the end of the episode lol

Love Paige's outfit would love to be able to pull that off

Favourite quote- 'love can be misspelled and messy it just needs to be given a chance'

Favourite scene- the almost kiss obviously- Happy finally letting her guard down reaching out to hold Toby's hand and almost kissing

I like to think Happy and Toby went out for drinks after - not a date but maybe to talk or Toby to talk and Happy to sit stoically

1.17 - the is a lovely Melvester episode it really shows the love develping between them and the last scene dancing us lovely

I find Walter particularly arrogant in this episode wanting to prove something

Toby's eyes following Happy as she walks up the plane small looks and actions between them hint at a developing relationship

Anyone notice how close Happy stands to Toby when he is sat on the counter they are definitely touching she may even be leaning on him

Toby is so worried about Happy he literally stands by the door waiting for her to come back

Favourite quote- 'a very embarrassed person I just got kidnapped by 4th grader'

'I'm dangling a human being by a bed sheet that is my status'

Favourite scene- where the team are waiting to see if the kid does runner everyone doubting Toby and his skills only to be proven he was right and profiled the kid accurately

I'm actually changing my mind the scene between Walter and Sly is really moving and shows how much they love each other

I always like to think what would happen with the characters after and between episodes at this point I think Happy and Toby would be spending alot of time together after the trips grabbing a beer and pizza getting to know each other away from scorpion

1.18 - an ok episode introduces ferret bueller the team pet

Happy's face when Toby stops the doctor from injecting Walter obviously likes tough Toby making a stand

Favourite quote- 'are we judging people on their past resumes as you were a departmental Santa to help pay for college'

Favourite scene- the kiss...... comes as a shock to us and Toby, he us clearly surprised doesn't know what to do with his hands. If you listen carefully you can hear toby hum in the kiss clearly enjoying it. Happy also doesn't want it spoiling by Toby's analysis hence telling him to shut up

1.19 - Toby leaves his hat behind doesn't want yo loose the present Happy bought him

Happy annoyed at Toby for trying to protect her she has been independent for so long having someone care enough to risk his life unsettles her and she doesn't know how to deal with it

First time Toby really admits how he feels even though he gets an extinguisher in his face Hapy knows what he is trying to say

Song at the end by the old 97's another great song not heard until watching this series

Favourite quote- I'm the gambling expert we be dating

Favourite scene- the last scene with Happy and Toby on the roof they dont even look where the paper plane goes they are going on a date!!

1.20 - oh dear poor Happy poor Toby what an idiot!

Toby being nervous is so cute but poor guy sleeping through his date bad move

I think that Happy wasn't quite in the right place to start dating Toby what he did was stupid but not unforgivable I think she wanted an excuse and she was too scared to get involved and risk getting hurt or risk their friendship and this gave her the perfect excuse to stop it before it went any further

Even when she is mad at him she still wants the closeness by standing next to him and he is the one assisting her on the bus

The fact Happy still calls him Doc 'her name for him' shows she still cares her anger is a defense mechanism because she finally opened herself up and she got hurt something she didnt think Toby would ever do even though it wast intentional

Favourite scene - Toby talking to happy in the bus opening up about his past and his insecurities

Favourite quote- probability theroy dictates you cannot predict the future with absolute certainty but this is an exception there is zero chance she will accept your appology

1.21 - not overly keen on this episode Walter was extreme in his reaction to Cabes secret especially considering his big secret!

Happy is still annoyed at Toby yet she walks over and keeps standing close to him when in the garage

Anyone notice how their actions start to mimic each other - both standing hands in Jean pockets it's like they are in sync with each other

Favourite scene- watching this episode makes me realise there is no favourite scene but it is a great backstory to the next episode

Favourite quote- 'lying billionaire says what'

1.22 - poor Walter doesn't deal with abandonment or trust issues very well

Toby is amazing saving Walter's life without actually touching him

Happy offering for Toby to come babysit with her, she's thawing towards Toby friendship is getting back on track

Favourite quote- 'that dont have the brain power of me with a hangover and him when hes sleeping'

Favourite scene- I love this whole episode keeps you gripped to the edge of your seat

Recap on Season 1

Favourite Episode - there are several which make my top episodes the episode in Bosnia, Love Boat but I think 1.19 is my favourite high action surrounded by fire with so.e lovely Quintis moments

Favorite Scene - Quintis first kiss a moment which had been building fir several episodes

A great first season building all the characters back stories this is my best season for Paige she is still genuine I feel as seasons go on she looses who she was.

I love the Megan and Sky story 2 damaged persons one physically one emotionally finding love

Walter I cant gel with the character I know he is the leas but I find him condensing and arrogant (I'm sorry not a popular opinion I'm sure)

Quintis- this season is all about building their backstory to their relationship they are both emotionally damaged by their pasts. They start as work colleagues and friends, grow to best friends who learn to share and rely on each other and stronger feelings develop.

Toby realises his feelings first and is more open and honest about them, Happy is slower on the uptake and reluctant to be a thing more then friends as she doesn't want to risk what they have. Eventually she gives in to her feelings that kiss and arrange a date. Things dont go well and she quickly retreats back to Angry Happy. After such a close ckmall with Walter I think she realises life is too short and seemingly forgives Toby asking him to babysit with her..... what happens then is left to our imaginations - I like to think they go back to the garage Toby needs someone with him that night to prevent him gambling and Happy knows this. He struggles saving his best friends life not being able to physically help. I think they talk like old friends Toby doesn't push it as he knows the time isnt quite right and they have a night if beer, pizza and chat

Let's see what Season 2 brings .............

#toby curtis #happy x toby #team scorpion #scorpionedit #toby x happy #eddie kaye thomas #jadyn wong #cbs scorpion #SaveScorpion #happy quinn #quintis

[asterythm]

A is for Amour || Human Error (2)

Pairings: Eventual Logicality, eventual Prinxiety Word Count: 2.5k Chapter Summary: Though rigid schedules may have worked in his favour when it came to essays and science fairs, Logan's plans are ill-equipped to handle a living, breathing human. He finds this out the hard way. Chapter Warnings: “Implied gore mention” is all I can think of for this one. Let me know if I’ve forgotten anything, though! General Warnings: Toxic romantic relationship, abusive Deceit, low self-esteem/self-deprecation, negative thinking

<< First Chapter || Read this chapter on AO3

Logan Berry was just about ready to eat his tie.

Not in the literal sense, of course; Logan was very well aware that cloths and fabrics did not have much nutritional value to them. They’d be difficult to digest, for one, and he didn’t imagine the taste could be too appetizing either. The young man had merely been using figurative language to express irritation.

A little clarity never hurt anybody.

Perhaps it would be simpler to forget about the textile consumption and just put it this way: suffice it to say, anyone looking at Logan now would never be able to guess how excited the boy had been only thirty minutes ago.

Which was a shame, really, considering how rare it was for Logan to get excited about anything nowadays.

It was true, though — Logan had been walking on sunshine for weeks in anticipation of this moment. How could he not? Today was the day of his first-ever session in his new tutoring job; a day he’d spent long days and longer nights preparing for. Logan had even gone so far as to create and rehearse a script that contained everything he intended to say, word-for-word. Every detail he could think of, he had planned, all the way down to the exact outfit he’d wear — a freshly-ironed black polo paired with his best blue necktie was the perfect way to passively say, this young man means business. Knowing how crucial a good first impression would be to their overall success, Logan had done everything in his power to ensure that today’s session would run perfectly. It had taken every second that he could spare (and quite a few that he couldn’t), but he didn’t mind. After all, Logan had been completely convinced that all his efforts were bound to pay off in the end.

Oh, what a fool he’d been.

You see, it was only once Logan was watching this unsettlingly energetic thing come careening around the corner did he realise that in all of his careful planning, he’d forgotten to factor in one major variable: the student himself. And a single glance was all it took for Logan to realise that his mistake would cost him dearly.

Not only is he late, he’s completely out of breath. And he’s not even bothering to hide it… just look at that gaping mouth, Logan’s narrowed eyes had immediately observed. Smudged glasses, uncombed hair, grass-stained sneakers — one of which is untied, mind you — oh, and now he’s gone and sent books flying everywhere.

So much for first impressions, I suppose.

With the introduction of this new limiting factor, the future wasn’t looking too bright, to say the least. But if there was one thing that Logan’s extensive collection of award-winning science fair projects had taught him, it was to never waste time trying to control the uncontrollable. So, notebook clutched in one hand and tenaciously holding back doubts with the other, Logan had launched with great determination into the script that he’d practiced so many times before.

It took all of five minutes to grind that determination into the dust. Every single time he paused for breath, the freckled boy seated crookedly in front of him would take it as an invitation to start chattering away at a speed that would give even the most accomplished of auctioneers a run for their money. Poor Logan could hardly keep up with his student, let alone settle him down long enough to get through even the first paragraph.

Finally, he had been forced to abandon his perfectly-crafted script in favour of a much less elegant approach: a simple and to-the-point list of questions. Though it physically pained Logan to abandon the result of so many tears shed and sleepless nights passed, he’d rather finish things the “alkali way” (or, as the cool kids preferred, the “basic way”) than never finish them at all. And if he’s going to talk anyway, Logan reasoned, I might as well give him something productive to talk about. Surely then we’ll be able to stay on-topic.

No such luck. Logan’s first question got no more than a noncommittal shrug before Parker — or was it Patrick? No, he was quite certain that the boy’s name was Parker — was off again, running his mouth a mile a minute, dropping awful puns and grammatically incorrect sentences all over the previously pristine carpet. The poor librarians would have some cleaning up to do later.

Okay, so plan B didn’t work either. Nothing to worry about, though, Logan pretended to believe. I’ve still got twenty-four letters to get through.

To be fair, Plan C was really more of a coping mechanism than an actual step-by-step plan. A surprisingly effective way of releasing pent-up stress and frustration, this longtime favourite involved imagining, in vivid detail, the source of that frustration being slowly and painfully fed into a running wood chipper.

What?

Some might think this cruel. Logan preferred to call it merciful; after all, at least he was limiting his vengeance to the hypothetical realm. An added bonus was that, in the interest of ensuring the utmost accuracy, it had compelled him to familiarize himself with the inner workings of wood chippers. So really, Plan C was a win-win for all parties involved.

As you might have guessed by now, dealing with annoying people never really had been Logan’s strong suit.

Actually, make that dealing with people in general. In hindsight, signing up to work with Sandford Secondary’s peer-to-peer tutoring program had definitely not been the best idea he’d ever had, in that case. Not because he wasn’t qualified — complex formulas and sentence structure he could handle in his sleep. But teaching those same concepts to a student who apparently had no intention of listening, he most certainly could not.

Really, Logan should have known better than to believe that he could ever be successful in any job that depended so much on one’s ability to work with others. Why couldn’t he have chosen something with more facts and numbers?

Facts and numbers were predictable. They always fit neatly into categories of right or wrong, true or false, black or white. Social interaction was so much messier. With no structure, no set of rules, and no procedure to follow, the whole thing was really nothing more than haphazard guesswork, a real-life game of hangman where every wrong word brings you one pen-stroke closer to game over. Bearing all that in mind, Logan had never understood how some people could so easily waltz up to strangers and just begin “bonding” like it was nothing.

And frankly, he didn’t particularly want to understand. Why would anyone choose to while away their life building those fragile houses of cards; vocabulary cards filled with only empty words? Did no one realise that a single misplaced breath is all would take to knock everything down in an instant? Why waste time trying desperately to convince your peers that you’re worth their love, when you could instead be hard at work earning their respect? In Logan’s experience, relationships of any kind — romantic, platonic, even familial — were always sloppy at best when built on love. Respect, on the other hand… respect was real.

This attitude, by the way, was an entirely objective worldview that had nothing to do with the fact that Logan didn’t exactly have many romantic or platonic relationships to choose from. Correlation, not causation.

Besides. Not that he cared.

Taking a deep breath, Logan forced himself to focus back on the session. (That makes one of us, he couldn’t help thinking.) Speaking of empty words… Parker, or Patrick, or whatever-his-name-was, had somehow been ceaselessly talking about corn for —  Logan checked his watch — over seven minutes now. They were getting nowhere, fast.

If Logan allowed the boy to keep this up, the two of them would end up leaving the library having accomplished absolutely nothing at all. That simply would not do. His student’s attitude may not be ideal, but he’d be damned if he let his own standards slip because of it.

After taking a brief pause to collect himself and his thoughts, Logan stood abruptly, causing the freckled boy to cut himself off mid-sentence.

Slowly, deliberately, he moved to stare out the large windows framing the section of the library where the two of them were seated, so that his back was turned and his face was hidden from the other boy.

Then, voice dripping with contempt, he spoke.

“Let me make one thing clear. I am not here to make friends, and neither should you be. I am here to teach, and as of yesterday, I was under the impression that you are here to learn. However, your behaviour so far has led me to believe that perhaps I was mistaken. For once in my life, I find myself praying that I will be proven wrong.

“Now, I don’t know what kind of merry tomfoolery you were expecting from our session today, but I do know exactly what I was expecting, and exactly what I have prepared for you. And since you clearly do not seem interested in steering this session anywhere productive, I suggest that you hand the reins to me and do exactly as I instruct from here on out. I have prepared a rigid agenda for how we will be spending this time together, and I intend to follow it. I expect you to do the same. Be aware that this agenda includes absolutely no icebreakers; we can’t afford to waste any more of our valuable lesson time, especially not on childish games.

“Starting right now, you will answer my questions so I can develop a plan for what we need to accomplish, and you will answer them without distraction. When you are not answering questions, you will hold your tongue like your entire future depends on it. Because it very well might. Is that understood —” just in time, he suddenly remembered the boy’s name — “is that understood, Patton?”

The following moment of quiet, the first one since Patton had stepped foot in the library, was answer enough for Logan.

“Good. I trust this will not be a discussion that we will need to have again, then.”

With that, Logan returned to his seat, carefully scrutinizing Patton once more to see if he could spot any differences. He didn’t need to try too hard. Patton’s transformation was so drastic, it was almost…  

Unnerving. The vigor from earlier had all but disappeared — thank goodness — but with its departure came a distinct dullness to the eyes framed in those round-rimmed glasses. And where Patton had previously been nearly falling out of his seat with barely contained energy, he now slumped inwards as if the words that Logan had spoken were actually physically crushing him.

At the sight, Logan couldn’t help but feel the tiniest glimmer of guilt. Perhaps he hadn’t needed to lay the scolding on quite so heavily. What if I overdid it?

A second later, Logan remembered he didn’t care.

Excellent. This shall be ideal. The brief moment of weakness over, Logan settled back down into the library’s comfortable couch. “What are your academic strengths?” he read off his notebook.

“Uhh, I’m… nice, sometimes. I guess.”  

Logan let out a deep sigh. A wood-chipper-shaped silhouette flickered in the back of his mind.

Most likely seeing his teacher’s disapproval of the vague answer, Patton hurried to add, “I mean, I can be pretty patient when it comes to worksheets. It always takes a really long time for me to finish my homework, so I… kind of have to be, you know?”

“Hm. Is that it?”

“That’s all I can come up with right now. Um, sorry.”

“I see.” Pencil scratched across paper as Logan scribbled down (a paraphrased version of) Patton’s response. In the otherwise unbroken silence, the sound grated loudly against Logan’s ears. He hurried to finish so he could move on to the next question. “Academic weaknesses?”

This time, Patton’s answered without even a moment’s hesitation. “Focus. Organization. Time management. Anything related to math or numbers, really. I’m not good at taking risks. My work is always sloppy and hard to read. It takes me a long time to wrap my head around new concepts.” He rattled off one item after another, a strange mix of confidence and detachment, almost as if reading off an invisible script that he’d already recited — or heard recited to him — many times before.

Logan wasn’t sure what to say to that. Here was another reason he hated socialising; people always had this odd tendency to hyper-fixate on what needed to be fixed rather than what they already had going for them, a tendency that Logan couldn’t imagine was healthy or even at all helpful. There’s so much beauty mixed in with the bad, and yet you choose to ignore it all? Worst of all, these senseless “social blinkers” meant that Logan had no chance of getting an accurate idea of Patton’s actual strengths and weaknesses. There was no way that every item on that list of shortcomings that Patton had just blazed through could actually apply, right?

Logan decided not to push the question, though; experience had taught him that calling others out on their poor logic didn’t often end well. I’ll just have to figure that part out myself, I suppose. Instead, he adjusted his thick glasses, wrote down one or two items from Patton’s list of weaknesses, and read aloud the next question.

And the next, and the next. They were really tearing through the conversation now; Patton’s answers seemed to get shorter and more succinct with every second that passed. Not that Logan was complaining. In fact, he was nothing but grateful for Patton’s newfound intense focus. It seemed his brief speech had done the trick.

Sooner than expected, a quiet trill interrupted the two of them. He checked his phone to see that his alarm had gone off. The session was over.

Had it really been two hours already? It had felt like so much less than that.

Shutting off the alarm, Logan turned to face his student. “Well, that marks the end of our session. I… appreciated your cooperation, Patton. We may have gotten off to a bit of a rocky start, but your focus in the second half of the session was sufficient to convince me that we won’t have too many problems from here on out.”

This time, Patton said nothing at all, settling instead for a wordless nod.

“Next week, I will have worksheets prepared for you. In the meantime, your homework is to write me a page, single-spaced, telling me a little bit more about short-and long-term educational goals. Full sentences only, please.” Logan flipped his notebook shut. “I look forward to reading your writing for the first time,” he lied.

In response, Patton picked up his backpack and started to walk away. He only made it about three steps, though, before turning back and opening his mouth. Logan waited.

The words never came. After the briefest of pauses, Patton’s mouth closed, lips pressed firmly together, perhaps to suppress whatever he’d been wanting to say.

As watched the child disappear around the corner, a thought arose unbidden:

For some reason, Patton seemed so much smaller leaving the library than he had looked when he was entering.

***

[next chapter]

A/N: Okay. Even though it's only chapter two, I have a LOT to say. Most of this is about the fic in general rather than the chapter, so... it's LONG. I'm sorry. In the interest of not putting you to sleep, let's speed-round this.

The first chapter of AAmour was the very first thing I ever wrote for the Sanders Sides fandom. I based that chapter almost ENTIRELY on a oneshot comic by @the-pastel-peach.

Two months later, I was planning for NaNoWriMo 2018 (a challenge where authors write 50k in 30 days). Long story short, I decided that I'd like to try finishing AAmour.

I didn't.

I did hit 50k, but I only made it to chapter ten. I still want to finish this thing though, so I've decided to edit and post what I already wrote, one chapter a month, and then write the second half of AAmour during NaNoWriMo 2019.

I'm already late with this first chapter because my dumb brain decided I needed to do a complete rewrite a week before posting, but in the future I'd like to post a chapter on the first day of every month.

Almost everything after chapter one is my own work. I say "almost" because I picked @residentanchor's brain a lot during the planning phase.

So yes, I may still be writing a high school AU, but this is no longer @the-pastel-peach​'s high school AU. Besides Logan's last name (I couldn’t resist -- the pun game was too strong) and the first chapter, any similarities to their version of the AU are completely coincidental; in fact, I've barely looked at theirs because I didn't want to risk any subconscious copying.

Also heeeeyyyyyy this is my 200th post that’s pretty nifty--

I think that about covers it. Thank you so, so much for reading -- both the chapter and my ridiculously long author’s note!! See you soon, lovelies. Take care <3

General tag list: @surleytemple @starryfirefliesbloggo @icecoldparadise @lyditist @fandom-random2405 @beach-fan @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @starryeyedhomicide

AAmour tag list: @romanticsanders @thatrandomautist @thelowlysatsuma @mirror2thespirit @pokii-jonas

Let me know if you’d like to be added to or removed from either tag list!

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logicality #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #ts virgil #ts patton #spectral scribbles #spec made something #a is for amour #aamour #tw implied gore #tw deceit mention