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frvnkcastles · 2 months

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SET MY WORLD ON FIRE ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You struggle with sex because of pain but want to give it a try with Frank.

Warnings: Female reader, feminine nicknames, light smut

Word count: 1.6k

Author’s note: Soooo I’m back with another PTSD related fic. I rarely write smut anymore but I wanted to do something like this because surprise surprise, it’s something I deal with. I suffer from chronic pain called vulvodynia, which is kinda similar to vaginismus I guess, and it makes having sex very painful or even impossible. There isn’t a lot of information about it available but I’m pretty sure it can be connected to (C-)PTSD or trauma in general (also other anxiety disorders). And I just think Frank would be so understanding and a safe person to try new things with. That’s all, thank you for reading <3

Your breathing was heavy as you rested on your back, your eyes locked with Frank’s as he hovered above you on the bed, and your fingers running through the coarse hairs on the back of his head. The air was tense and there was a ball of nerves in the pit of your stomach, but deep down, you were excited, too. And most importantly, you trusted Frank. You knew that the moment would be over with your say-so, and he’d be off of your body within seconds, but so far, you were willing to push your limits.

”Gorgeous girl”, he muttered while caressing your cheek and traveling down to grip your jaw softly, just enough to tilt your head up so he could lean down to kiss your neck. His lips left a trail of goosebumps and you closed your eyes to fully revel in the feeling, your arms hanging around his neck and your legs around his hips.

His name escaped your lips and you could feel his mouth curling up into a smile against your skin. ”Yeah, sweetheart?” he rasped, lifting his head from the crook of your neck so he could look at you. He took in the sight of you, eyes squeezed shut and a mixture of pleasure and anxiety twisting your features. ”Hey, look at me”, he demanded gently, and licking your lips, you met his gaze only to feel even more vulnerable under the intensity of it.

”Y’know nothin’ happens without your permission, yeah? ’M just here to go at your pace. You got nothin’ to worry about, I promise”, he explained, tilting his head at you, and slowly, you managed a nod.

You had wanted this for a long time. You had wanted him for a long time. But no matter how strong that desire in you grew, you knew that your body wasn’t on the same page with you, that regardless of your feelings, it would hurt. And when you had told Frank as much, he had sworn to be gentle with you, to proceed as slowly as you needed him to, with promises of being honored you’d trust him with it.

”Breathe for me, pretty girl”, he encouraged, and swallowing, you inhaled deeply through your nose, and following his example, you exhaled through your mouth. ”There ya go”, he smiled at you before biting his lip and deciding to dip a toe in the waters. ”Can I touch you?”

Your breath got stuck in your throat, but once again, you nodded. ”Yes, please”, you requested quietly, and satisfied, Frank let his hands venture across your body. You were already reduced to just your underwear, making it easy for his thick fingers to graze against your skin and glide down between your legs. He was careful, but you still tensed up, and he could immediately tell. You stared at the ceiling and tried to keep your breathing balanced, but you were scared.

”Want me to stop?” Frank asked, but despite the fear bubbling in your chest, you immediately shook your head.

”I want to feel you”, you admitted, and chuckling softly, Frank nodded.

He tried his best to be gentle, but you still gasped sharply at the feeling of his finger prodding, and Frank’s chest ached at the idea of causing you any pain. Nevertheless, when you didn’t tell him to stop, he pushed further, and somewhere within his movements, the initial pain melted into a warm, pleasant feeling.

”This okay?” he whispered, peppering your face with kisses as he moved his hand back and forth, and nodding rapidly, you clamped your hand over your mouth to stifle any stray moans about to slip out. Frank noticed in an instant and with his free hand wrangled your palm away from your face, wanting to hear everything.

”It’s good. It’s really good”, you breathed out, and with a crooked smile, Frank leaned his forehead against yours and kissed the air out of your lungs. His lips were like magic, just like his fingers, and the combined sensation of the two had you seeing stars, speechless as you writhed under the weight of his body.

Before you could reach your climax, though, Frank withdrew his hand from you, and when you whined at the loss, his grin widened. ”Shh, sh, it’s okay. Be patient f’me, baby”, he reassured before wetting his lips and looking down at where your bodies were about to connect.

”We’ll take it slow, yeah? I got you, sweetheart. Tell me to stop and I will”, he promised you, and with an impatient nod, you agreed to his words. It was a terrible mix to be both needy and scared, to want him more than anything in the world but dread that you wouldn’t be able to go through it. But Frank was endlessly patient with you, and like he had sworn, his movements were languid and careful.

The grunt that rose from his throat when he entered you made you want to keep going. You would have done anything for him in that moment. The exertion of being slow was obvious on his creased forehead, but he didn’t break his promise — he slid in slowly, pausing as soon as you sucked in a pained breath.

”Hurts”, you croaked out, wringing your eyes shut, and immediately jumping to action, Frank smoothed the lines in the corners of your eyes.

”Hey, hey, don’t worry. I ain’t movin’ ’til you tell me to, aight?” Frank whispered, and with a gulp, you nodded.

”Maybe… maybe if you… make small movements back and forth”, you proposed, and humming in response, Frank kissed your forehead.

”You know what to do if it ain’t feelin’ right”, he noted before inching his hips forward just the slightest, then pulling back and repeating the motion. It was an attempt to get you used to him, and it had you huffing and puffing with the hopes of remembering to breathe through it, but it didn’t seem like the pain was going anywhere.

”This would be a lot easier if you were… smaller”, you pointed out with a wry smile, earning a snort from Frank.

”Wanna stop?” he asked again, but you shook your head.

”I think I can take a little more”, you said hopefully, and with concern shining in his eyes, Frank nodded reluctantly and made a firmer thrust, only for you to immediately regret it.

Your hands flew to his chest to push him away, and reacting quickly, Frank pulled out and watched the ache bloom on your face. With a frustrated huff, you ran a palm across your features, and as Frank got off of you and knelt on the bed, you sat up, as well.

”You okay, sweetheart? Shit, I shoulda— I didn’t wanna hurt ya”, he stammered, hands hovering over you, not sure if it was okay to touch you.

Pursing your lips in a sad smile, you took his hand and squeezed. ”I’m okay. It’s not your fault”, you told him quietly. Nonetheless, regret blossomed in Frank’s chest as he watched you curl up and wrap your arms around your knees bashfully. But when he saw the look on your face, he knew you were feeling much worse than he was.

”Hey, it ain’t your fault either, ya know that, right?” he spoke up, tilting his head down to catch your gaze, which you expertly avoided. Frustrated tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you were quick to wipe them away.

”I guess”, you shrugged. ”It just doesn’t seem fair to you. To—to get you all worked up, and then I can’t even—I can’t—”, you tried to explain, but Frank hastily shot down your anxieties.

”You don’t owe me anythin’. Just ’cause you make me turned on, and trust me, you really do, I don’t expect you to do anythin’ ’bout it. It ain’t fun for me if it ain’t fun for you”, he stated matter-of-factly, his fingertips caressing your arm as he sat closer to you.

”I guess we can always do other stuff”, you tried to see the positive in the situation, and with an encouraging smile, Frank opened his arms for you, and you didn’t hesitate to crawl into the welcoming embrace.

”That’s right, sweetheart. I’m happy to use my fingers if that felt good. Would love to get my mouth on you”, he whispered into your ear, and with blush creeping to your cheeks, you covered your face with both hands and giggled. ”And if you ever wanna do the same for me, that’s more than enough. Or if you want to try this again some other time, I’m okay with exploring. There’s no pressure”, Frank went on, and with a genuine smile, you gave him a grateful look.

”Sorry for ruining the mood. I really do want you, you know”, you wanted him to know, and with half a smile, Frank kissed you.

”Don’t be sorry, sweet girl. I know”, he sighed, his hand caressing your hair tenderly. ”How ’bout we order some food and maybe you’ll feel better?” he proposed then, and full of adoration for the man and all his patience and understanding.

”Thank you, Frankie.”

The guilt in you began to dissipate eventually, and underneath all the frustration, you felt lucky to have someone like Frank. Someone who you could trust to take care of you, someone who was okay with taking things slow. It hadn’t always been the case with other men, but with Frank, you felt safe. You felt like it would be okay, regardless of the outcome.

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader

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aquanova99 · 9 months

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕞

Azriel x reader(kinda)

Part 1 Next >>

A/N: okay be easy on me I haven’t written for ACOTAR before. But at the end of the day I always say I write for myself so 🤭

A/N: i do genuinely hope everyone who likes this series enjoys! Have a beautiful day ♥️

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The snow was stuck to the ground. It was high time they started. But he was late. The white crystals crunched under Cassian’s heavy pacing. Rhys leaned against a tree, tapping his arm, periodically and pointlessly searching for Azriel’s shielded mind. A mind that had never been off limits to him before. He knew Cassian suspected him of doing something to upset Azriel, and he had in fact used his authority as ruler to forbid him from conversing with Elain. But he could have never imagined he’d go radio silent. And certainly, he would never miss this. It was tradition, what brought them together. He had hoped this day would be what finally allowed him to see his own point. The following weeks after the order was passed had met Rhysand with nothing on Azriel’s end unless there were necessary updates on whatever was happening in Prythian. Any attempts to communicate were met with, ‘anything else?’ ‘Is that all?’

Feyre had finally demanded for him to tell her why Azriel didn’t want to speak to her or Elain anymore. Safe to say if it wasn’t for Nyx, Feyre would be giving him the silent treatment as well.

“Alright. What did you do?” Cassian growled

“Nothing.”

“Rhys.”

“I told him to stay away from Elain. The last thing we need is for a war to break out against Autumn Court. They may just take Lucien sides if he decides to duel him. She isn’t his mate. I thought he would understand. Its been a year. I thought Mor--”

He could see Cassian shaking to control his anger, “Told, as in ordered?”

“…Yes.”

“Because all mated pairs work out so well.” He scoffed. “Where is he?”

“I…I don’t know. He’s only been communicating whatever’s been necessary.” Rhys hears Cassian think about how perhaps Nesta was right and flies off. Rhysand can only sit down, exhausted. It was the winter solstice. They would be exchanging gifts soon, how would he explain his brother’s absence? “Where the hell are you Az?”

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He could have easily traveled through his normal shadows, but flying the distance hurt more. And he deserved it. He told himself it was pure curiosity, but he knew he was running. Or flying. He reached Vallahan and still… he kept flying. Wondering what he would find beyond the expansive faerie realms. Maybe more possible allies even further west. Days he flew until his wings physically couldn’t hold him anymore. This was dangerous, he should star flying lower, not so high up. He looked at his hands shaking at the sheer exhaustion of his travels.

Pathetic, he thought. Pining for centuries for someone who showed him time and time again she would never be interested. And why would she be? He was nobody. Strong, sure but what else? His own family rejected him, hated him. Then Feyre came into their lives, and subsequently her sisters did too. Two of the three mated to his “brothers,” the third…the kindest, the only one who seemed to have even noticed him, mated to someone else. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t owed Elain, by any means. But when would he find a mate of his own. Would he even know if he found her? Was he so desperate to have someone he would focus on Elain, so he, like his brothers had an Archeron sister? No, Rhysand was right. He needed to stay away from her. From all of them, until he could figure out what was wrong with him. Maybe he should just disappear forever…save himself any more suffering. Suffering. Endless suffering. He could hardly remember a time where he was happy. Within the Inner Circle, he suffered at seeing Cassian and Mor. Never really forgetting that betrayal. When he was young…

A pain wracked through his body. He’d pushed his body to its limits. He began falling. Making no effort to help himself. Somewhat glad it could all be over. He was falling backwards, not seeing the giant trees about to break his fall. He groaned as his wings took the majority of the impact, vines intertwining and suspending him halfway above the ground. Any movement he made everything hurt. His eyes looked at the sky, his eyelids fluttering shut. Finally giving in to his exhaustion.

‘I’ve never seen wings like that.’

‘Where do you think he’s from?’

‘Both of you quiet. He will be waking soon. Go. We may need to hide.’

He should disappear right now. Use the shadows. But he didn’t even know where he was, let alone where to go. East, he supposed until he reached something familiar. But then he’d have to explain himself. Allies. Looking for allies. Azriel struggled to open his eyes. Worried about what he would see. Or wouldn’t see. The room seemed to glow around him.

“Before you decide to run, or even move. I would suggest you move slowly.”

Even with warning, Azriel’s head snapped towards the voice. He ignored the pain as he took her in. A woman he could only describe as regal. She looked serious, her skin seemed to shimmer in the warm orange glow of the room. Her wings were down but even he could tell they were magnificent. Dark hair flowed down to her waist, different braids woven in and small flowers adorning it. Azriel blinked a few times, trying to get his voice back. Trying to memorize this place. Trying to memorize her, “Where am I?”

“You crash landed in our home. This is Luminia Grove. Now, where are you from?” Azriel grows quiet, “Listen, we took you in, last I checked. If you don’t want to talk, fine. Try not to get tangled in anymore trees, yes?”

“I’m from Prythian.” Azriel spoke softly, embarrassed. Here he had gone crashing into their home, they had taken him in and still he demanded answers.

“Should I know where that is? How long were you flying for?”

“A few days…I think.” How far exactly had he gone? She only nods and leaves the room. When she enters she is followed by two others carrying in plates of food, meanwhile the one who been waiting for you to wake, carried a pitcher of something.

“Eat and drink. We can get you more if you need. You need to rebuild your strength to get home. I’m Callista. These two are Aurora, and Venia.” They both nod in your direction before leaving. She leans down next to him, When he flinches, her voice softens. “I’m just going to help you sit up, okay?”

She is careful about his wings, still healing from the magic she must have used when he slept. “Thank you.” he whispers hoarsely

“If you need to rest longer do so, but only as long as you need to heal.” Azriel nods, and begins eating some of the food he was offered. Before he can thank her again, she exits the room leaving him alone.

You could leave. It would be as if you were never here. He thought to himself, but he also wasn’t ready. He couldn’t go back, continue living in the shadows. Both figuratively and literally, it had drained him. He was so tired. Worthless. Maybe a couple days, if they allowed it. Callista certainly didn’t seem keen on his presence. But her words did not sound impatient, but rather worried. He wonders if she was trying to give him a warning. Azriel decides to shift his focus on the meal in front of him. The food is better than anything he’d ever had anyway, so much so he had to stop himself from licking the plate. The drink seemed to replenish any lasting pain. Reenergizing him. Aurora and Venia entered the second he was finished.

“Would you like more?” Venia asked

“No. Thank you. I was won—” The second they got their answer they left again. Azriel immediately regrets it. In truth, more food sounded wonderful. He got up and stretched his limbs, slowing testing his wings. He could have sworn he heard them crack but he felt next to nothing now. Just some soreness. Azriel realized the room he was in was very simple, a few beds lined up on one side. A couple dressers on the other. There was a single closet, locked. He decided to explore whatever place this was alone, maybe he could find figure out why no one had ever found this place, and if they had why had no one mentioned it? Not fast enough. Callista opened the door as he reached for the handle.

“Escaping already?”

“No. Just…I just wanted to see more. I can stay here…if you need me to.”

“You’re welcome to walk around. You may get some questions. Just so you know, since you don’t seem like the talkative type.” She was right, his lips formed a tight line. When he took a few steps back, she reached for his hand. “I’ll show you around.”

When he grabbed it he glanced down, suddenly ashamed at the sight of them. When she followed his gaze, Azriel pulled his hand back. He didn’t want to talk about them. Callista noticed, but her face remained unchanged. She grabbed his hand again and led him out the door. Azriel’s face felt red. He didn’t pull away this time. He was thankful the lady had said nothing, acted as if there was nothing. The door led directly outside, Azriel realizing he had been in some sort of infirmary. A whole room somehow built into and concealed by trees and foliage. The branch the two stepped on was wide. When he looked up he could only see glimpses of the sky. He wondered how long he’d fallen, how hard he crashed. And how long he’d been out.

“Yeah, I don’t know how you fell all that way. You must have been up pretty high.” Azriel stared, wondering if she could dig into his mind like Rhys could. “It looks a lot better at night.”

“What is this place?”

“A hideaway of sorts. We don’t get many visitors. And the ones we do get…well they can never find this place twice it seems.”

“I could.”

“Maybe. You do have some ability, I assume. There’s a power that surrounds you. And those things adorning you. They give off some very powerful energy.”

“Syphons. They allow me to control my power in battle. Magic.”

“Hm. So do you want to talk about what it is you were searching? Why risk your life flying for that amount of time?”

“I- I don’t know what I was flying for.” This was true, Azriel had decided to start flying. To escape, to find allies, whatever. He figured he could find a reason on the way. He looked back down at Callista. She was studying him, curious. Probably worried about the shadows that never seemed to leave him, he thought. She tilted her head and motioned for him to follow. Her wings unfurled into four beautiful leaf shaped wings, with colors he could only describe similar to the sunrise. Only more breathtaking. Yellows turning into pinks, purples barely touching the edges. Her wings shifted colors depending on where the light hit. He’d never seen wings so beautiful. They were almost translucent, they looked as if they could shatter like glass. His own wings, the same ones that he had always hated seem to pale in comparison. He’d never felt more like an Illyrian. Filthy. Unworthy. A monster.

He followed her down into the deep thicket of the woods. He could see the homes concealed through magic. Still most fae should be able to find this place, if they so desired they should see through the glamour. So how has no one returned upon finding this location? She landed on what appeared to be a giant root, a home hidden on the forest floor. Azriel sat down next to her, face serious, determined to get more answers.

“You carry much pain.”

“Do I? Tell me what you see.”

“I do not know. I just see sadness, pain.”

Azriel scoffed, “You think you know me. You don’t even know my name.”

“I do not need to know your name. You will be gone soon. You have unfinished business. Everyone who finds us, they always have some kind of unfinished business.”

“And if I wanted to stay?” He means this as a threat. He was a stranger, surely they would fight to keep their precious village secret. She pauses but after a moment Callista only shrugs.

“Then you would stay.”

“Wait…what?”

“You will not stay. But if you chose to, we would welcome you.”

“You know nothing.” Azriel could feel his anger rising, his guard up. Years of being silent threatening to spill from his lips.

“Then teach me.” Callista offered, her voice unwavering, “Tell me about your life. From the beginning. We don’t get many guests here. I would love to learn about your life. Learn how others grew up.”

“You cant just dig into my mind?”

“Why would I do that? Your thoughts should be yours and yours alone.”

“So, you have the ability to?”

“No.” She giggles, “It is good to know that there are those with those kind of abilities. Sounds like a nightmare to never be able to hide anything. Besides, what if this person shares secrets that aren’t his to share?”

“It is useful--”

“I’m sure. Listen—you are under no obligation to speak to me. You are more than welcome to fly up to the room you were in when you woke. I would suggest you make your decision soon. Time seems to move differently here, or so I’ve been told. You will have been gone longer than you think upon your return home.”

“Who is the high lord here?”

“High lord?”

“Who rules these lands?” If he did want to make alliances or threats, he supposed it was best to know who he should be directing his questions towards. Azriel was already warming up to Callista, he’d rather not involve her. Of course, as usual, luck was not on his side.

“I suppose I do, along with a council of peers my parents selected before they died. I have no interest in leading, and more voices and ideas are heard that way. Not that we’ve called a meeting in a few centuries.”

“I…apologize. I did not mean—”

“You are avoiding my questions. I don’t find that very fair. I have answered all of yours honestly. Am I not owed the same respect, or do you not do that in Prythian? Is it only High lords that talk over each other?” She smirked, and Azriel couldn’t help return a small smile. It was a habit to go straight into interrogations, he supposed. And if he could really never find this place again, it couldn’t hurt. Maybe she would have advice to carry back to Prythian. He would say the facts, avoid emotion. Make it quick and painless.

“I suppose I’ve been rather rude. Where would you like to start?”

“The shadows. Tell me about them. Are they always there?”

“They’ve followed me since I was a child.”

“Do they hold a purpose?”

“I can travel in them. See and hear things others don’t.”

“So, you were running from something.” She says this so matter of factly it is almost enraging. Callista studies the creature in front of her. His eyes, almost golden seemed so tired. As if he had been tired for far longer than the days he had flown to get here. The despair so evident, she wondered if he had anyone at all. Her words had set something off, “I only say that, because if you can travel in the darkness why fly at all? Does it take a lot of energy?”

Azriel’s shook his head, cursing himself for jumping to conclusions again, “Not anymore. I suppose you aren’t entirely wrong, I wanted to distract myself. So, I just…flew.”

“I would be careful using your gift prematurely here, there is a chance you get lost. And you need at least one more day until you are fully healed to fly the same distance.”

“Has no one really come back?”

“None in my time. There’s always something that they really need to go back to. One had been in a long battle, he was weary…he’d lost so much. He stayed here for years, one day he was suddenly heartbroken about his wife. Swore he would bring his family here, he never came back. He stayed the longest but there have been others. They stay as long as they need and continue their journey. Like you.”

Azriel wanted to argue but she was right. He couldn’t disappear from the night court for long. But this place… something about this place sang to him. He wondered if this is what Callista had meant. The thought of having to leave was becoming more difficult, if there was some kind of enchantment over these lands then Azriel may well have to concede and leave sooner than he’d like. He was likely already wearing down Callista’s hospitality.

“Have you ever left?” Azriel asks, curious of whether she was, in her own way, trapped. His theory was unfortunately, proved right. She bit her lip, trying to figure out the best way to explain her situation.

“For a while, I got so bored I couldn’t seem to care about ever finding this place again. I would fly for miles in one direction, somehow always ending up back here. The people here have had children of their own, and we have expanded but…its like a dome of some kind growing with us but not allowing anyone to escape.” She was right, he could see a faint outline surrounding the sky.

“My home had something similar. A protection spell. Several actually. Kept us hidden for years, only known to those who lived there.”

“By the same person who reads minds, I assume.” When Azriel nodded, she looked towards the sky, with a look he was longing. A freedom so close yet still, out of her reach. “If there is a spell it wasn’t placed by any of us. The elders have mostly passed on, and no one has left me any information. We can only learn so much, many advancements were made by those who happened upon us. Even then, we don’t always have the resources.”

Azriel decided then that he had to go back. He could figure out how to undo the spell, he was sure of it. At the very least he could bring back more books for them to entertain themselves with, he could contribute to their peaceful home. If he could make it back anyway. He enjoyed a good challenge. When Callista looked back at him she smiled sadly, knowing he too would leave, same as all the others before him. They both knew it. A guilt tugged deep at his heart, if he couldn’t return, he would be the same as all the others who had come and gone, she may forget him with time. But he knew he would never be able to forget her… or this place. He wondered if this is what Velaris was to the Archeron sisters.

“Would you really want to know how I can move through shadows?”

“No.” Azriel’s face dropped for a moment, “I want to know why you can move through shadows. That is not something you learn, and I doubt something you’re born with. The magic around you shaped itself that way for a reason, yes?”

“Hm, yes I suppose so.” Try as he might, the words got stuck in his throat. He had his hands clasped in front of him, but now one of his hands began picking at the, pushing back his nail bed. A habit he had long pushed away. His legs shook nervously, and no training could have prepared him for startling at Callista’s touch. Her hand resting gently on his thigh. She smiled, and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Azriel forced himself to take a deep breath and recount those horrible early years.

‘Please!’ He screamed into the darkness, ‘Please! It’s too dark!’

‘Please…’ the screams turned into whimpers, ‘I’ll be good. Please…’

‘Please…’ His voice was hoarse by the end of the day. Close to no sound coming out. The following days would be him curled into a ball humming to pass the time.

Then his weekly day of freedom came. His moths arms almost crushing him in an embrace. He begged for her to let him stay. Pleaded for her to run away with him. He had to be dragged away at the end of day, the following day he would worry about possible claw marks on his mothers arms. He was always thankful for their ability to heal quickly if only for that.

The cycle repeated. On and on for years. His pleas went unheard to everyone except himself. His voice bounced of the walls and eventually even his whispers that reverberated back sounded crystal clear. His eyes grew adjusted to the dark, making out every chip on the wall, every groove. An ability others would always be wary of. He didn’t mind, it kept him safe. kept him from feeling the almost endless pit of loneliness and despair. The singular hour he would be allowed out for a meal was often forgotten, but never long enough to let him waste away. No, he would live a long life, his stepmother would ensure that, a long and miserable life.

If they came and got him out it would be at the same time without fail, he could count the seconds of every day and know immediately whether or not he would be allowed to see the sky, the sun, eat whatever scraps they served him. So, when he was blinded nearly an hour earlier than normal he knew it couldn’t be good. His brothers had planned it out so perfectly. The light, unexpected at this time, blinded him, and they all knew the two older boys were stronger, never knowing a day without a full belly. One forced him down onto the ground, the other quickly throwing oil in his direction. Lack of training or not, Azriel had the mind to know he needed to protect himself. His reflexes fast enough to shield his face.

The he heard the match strike and the smell of burning flesh lingered in the room for weeks. At eight years old, a part of him hoping the fire would finish the job. But someone cared enough to put the fire out. Some guard who pitied what they were doing to the child. A child who should have been learning how to fight, how to fly. He had a full day out to recover, his hands now always holding a reminder of where he stood in. He held no hope he wouldn’t be thrown back into his dungeon. But for the following week, at least he got some better food. This incident caused him to try and remain hidden. No matter who was opening the door he focused his entire being on being undetected, and eventually he began to blend into the darkness. He realized his anility to move within the shadows, panicking a few guards into thinking he’d escaped and then suddenly reappearing behind them. He kept silent about this until he was thrown into the Illyrian camp. It became a tool used to not discard him, to continue training him. And he had trained well.

He learned to defend himself. He was sought out by Cassian and Rhysand, at first curious of his abilities and soon after for fighting practice. His memory was foggy on how eventually they all agreed to remain allies, then friends, and eventually brothers. The wars they had fought, the battles they would have to fight…

Had he been foolish to think his friendship would be anything more than a convenient alliance. He knew his ability made him valuable, he didn’t want to let it define him. As much as he tried to rationalize it, Azriel couldn’t help feel as if Rhysand had chosen Lucien over himself. An alliance over his “brother.” He shouldn’t feel this way at all, Rhys was right, everything was in a delicate balance right now. Still, Azriel couldn’t release the hurt, the resentment that had grown in him until he collapsed here. He flinched at the sudden touch, frozen at the hands intertwining themselves with his own. He hated pity. He wanted to pull away but instead he found himself returning the gentle squeeze.

“I could remove them.”

“What?”

“Your scars. I quite like them actually, but I can remove them if it’s something you want.”

“How?”

“I’m not the only one who feels trapped here, nor the only one who has tried to escape. There was a fire. Someone felt death was a better option than an eternal bubble of isolation from the rest of the world. The trees were so bare then…” Her eyes seem to glaze over the memory, as if she remembers an entirely different forest than the one they sit in now.

“Everyone was working to control it, but the damage was done. Many of us didn’t want the reminders of what the fire had taken. For the following years everyone focused on learning and perfecting different kinds of magic; healing, elemental, conjuring, protection.” She chuckles dryly, “All that learning and we still cant figure out how to escape.”

“It helps with ignoring the pain.” He thinks out loud

“Yes. I lost my father then. Got several burns myself trying to drag him out.”

“And you got rid of them?”

“No.” She released his hand and waved it on her opposing arm, the burn marks appearing immediately after her hand passed, it seemed to stretch across her entire arm, like tree roots stretching up to her neck. “ I got off fairly easy. Its just this arm. I had thrown my body over my father once we were out of harms way and shielded my face. They found passed out with my arm and a lot of my hair singed off.”

“I thought you had said you could get rid of it.”

“It used to be worse believe it or not. Had scars on parts of my face and neck, so when we figured out a salve for it I immediately slathered it on those parts first. I ended up regretting it. I only hide my arm so others aren’t so uncomfortable. No one likes to think about those times.”

It was his turn to not pity her. He became even more determined to be able to return. To find his way back. He could technically try and take her with him when he traveled but he only had one day left. Certainly not long enough for her to trust him.

“I’ll keep them.” Was all he could say, he hated the scars but they had reminded him of how far he’d come from those awful years.

“Good.” She waved away the scars and stood up, “It will be dark soon. Feel free to rest some more before you leave. I will ask Aurora and Venia to bring up some more food. Thank you for letting me get to know you a bit more.”

The shadows around him began whispering, Azriel could not tell if it was warning or not. One, she still had no idea what his name was, and two for the first time since he was a child, he was not able to see her glamour. She had told him how many of the people here had studied magic intensely, but even then she had underplayed it. These people would undoubtedly be useful in the war, but their numbers were small. Most courts would rather them all be dead than give another court even more unnecessary power. Azriel would never be able to reveal this location, but unfortunately his High Lord had the ability to drag it out of him no matter how unwilling he would be. His best chance would be Feyre, but ultimately she was loyal to her mate, maybe with enough guilt she would at least tell him to not invade his thoughts. Maybe the fae here would have the ability to make some sort of mental shield or him, or at the very least teach him how to make one himself. He would not give these people up. He flew back in the room he woke up in and decided to try and rest.

Callista gently nudged him, Azriel shot up. He should have heard her come up, been warned she was coming up. Were his own abilities weakening while he was here?

“Sorry, I didn’t want the food to go cold.”

“Its fine. I apologize for being so on edge.”

“You’re in a strange place, far from home. Its normal for you to be more guarded.” Guarded as he may be, he still felt more at peace than he had in months. He had been silent, brooding for an entire year. Claiming to be busy with his duties to Rhys. He had maintained normalcy with Cassian and Nesta but that was about as much as he could manage. He finally felt like he could breathe here. Not so restricted by the formalities he would have been forced to placate during the solstice. He would not be able to stay away for much longer. He would need to head back, assure Feyre everything was fine, assure Rhys that he was only doing as he was told. Continue following instructions. Nyx’s birth was plenty of reason for the Night Court to maintain diplomacy, but it wouldn’t hold out forever. The courts were patient, Amarantha waited ages to win Tamlin over, things had been mostly quiet but they would not remain that way forever. And he couldn’t risk the other’s lives over a petty dispute. He had to remember his place, and his place was an Illyrian bastard who got lucky.

Callista stared at the anguished soul before her, desperately wanting to comfort him. She had already pushed to much in asking him to relive his past. She knew even then he had kept his retelling brief. Whatever was plaguing him seemed to chipping away his own health. He’d healed miraculously quickly with the salves and medicine they had placed on his wings for them to heal. She wondered if whatever healing magic was inside of was the only holding him together most days, surely most people that went through even half of the mistreatment he had would have broken, turned cruel. This man was just…guarded.

Azriel blinks and finds her staring, “Is everything alright?”

“You just seemed troubled. Do you have to leave soon?”

“Unfortunately, I have to admit you were right. I do have to leave soon, I worry in the worst of circumstances others could find this place. You can clearly control magic to a degree even I cannot see through. There are people who would hurt the people here to even get a sliver of it.”

“It is nothing for you to be concerned over.” Callista’s sudden sharp tone takes him by surprise, not knowing his concern for them was making it harder for her to deny any feelings of amicability. She enjoyed his company, and that was dangerous for someone who could never leave her forested prison, and who likely never be able to meet with again. She’d learned early on to never get too attached to those who stumbled into her home. It always ended with disappointment. But it had never felt like this before.

“Perhaps not, but it should concern you. Does anyone here have anything they could do to put a shield of sorts on my mind. I don’t think Rhysand would dig too deep but I don’t want to take any chances. Please, for my own peace of my mind.” Azriel would never be able to live with himself if something happened to Callista because of him. And her people had suffered enough. Callista softened at his genuine concern.

“I can think of something that may work. But I should discuss it with some of the elders. They have all specialized in very specific magic I can only do so much. Please stay here, eat. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Will you join me? I’d like to go with you.” He had to admit to himself that if he was going to leave he wanted to see more of this place. And he had no interest in being alone any longer, he wanted company, her company.

“Of course.” They continued learning about the others lives. Azriel admitted why he decided to fly so long he put himself at risk. How the one who he thought he was in love with continued to disregard him, how he felt constantly used but could never blame her. How when he finally felt like he could move on, he was immediately forbidden from having any communication with. Callista became aware of how serious things were in his realm, it was no wonder he worried it would reach them. She decided she wasn’t fond of his friends at all, his retelling of his life being miserable at camp until the others conceded into an alliance infuriated her. He told her how he had always hated what he was born into, how he hated almost all of his kind. She didn’t want to agree but the hurt they were encouraged to enforce on another was completely barbarian to her.

“Are you alright?”

“You speak about these things as if they are completely normal experiences, I admit I feel… sad for the hand you were dealt. You’ve done quite a bit for others,” she says thinking about Mor and some of the nymphs he saved. “You should be proud. I feel honored to have met you.”

Azriel smirked, she was right in a sense. Her words made him feel, warm? He told himself, it was nothing. He was surely redirecting everything he wanted Mor to feel, and what he believed he should for Elain with her. And he could never do that to her, “Does this mean you’re ready to know my name. I mean wouldn’t you want to know the name of someone you’re so honored to have met?”

“Am I going to regret being nice to you?” She laughed, as she turned to lead him out of the room she tried not to let her disappointment show on her face, “I’ll think about learning it before you go.”

“I could just tell you.” He teased her

“You could, but you would have done that already. Come, I think I know of someone that can help.” She held her hand out, and Azriel only realized he did not hesitate to take it after they landed on the balcony of another concealed home. She called out, “Syra?”

An older woman hobbled out to meet the two of you. “Is this our latest guest?”

“Yes. He has a bit of a possible dilemma,”

“Hm.” Her eye unsettled Azriel. They were a deep set of purple, so dark they were almost ba;cl. He’d never seen a fae age like a human. He wondered if they lived long enough they would eventually get that way. He supposed some of the workers didn’t always appear young but it was something that had never crossed his mind. Guilt crept up inside of him. His entire job was to be aware of everything happening around Prythian, when did he become too good to ignore the lesser fae? Had his powers gone to his head. Callista squeezed his hand, breaking his train of thought. Reassuring him.

He cleared his throat, “I know someone who read into my mind. I’d prefer to keep this place hidden due to some upcoming conflicts. There are a lot of people who would hurt the people here in order to gain a fraction of your magic.”

“They may not be able to take us out of here.”

“Theres some that would die trying.” Azriels mind races to the Autumn Court desperate for power, easily tempted by powers like Amarantha, Hybern, Koshei. Enough power can make even the strongest turn on one another, betray once strong connections.

“Is there anything we can do?” Callista interrupts

“There is always something you can do.” She sits, mixing and grinding various kinds of flowers and herbs hes never seen. A few liquids that look like a mix of starlight and fire. They both hear her mutter something gin a language they don’t understand.

“An ancient tongue,” Callista whispers, “She was one of the few who came from some other land before my people were forced to stay here.”

“Do you know it?”

“No. She refuses to tell anyone what it means.”

Azriels on alert, how could they trust this woman? What if she knew exactly what was trapping them here? Was she the one who trapped them? Voices whispered for him to hush. The shadows reacted similarly to when he would speak to Gwyn. Whoever this woman was, apparently the shadows didn’t perceive her as a threat. If anything they danced around her eagerly, as they were impatient for her to finish with whatever she was making.

“It is ready. I need something from you Callista.”

“Me?”

“Yes. Something to hold this.” The words were slurred. The womans eyes glazed. It was as if she wasn’t fully there but Callista seemed to understand. She pulled a necklace over her head gently, a thin gold chain with a circular pendant.

“What are you doing?” Azriel asked, panicked.

“Trust me.”

Syra took the chain and threw it in the mixture. When she pulled it out, the clear jewel in the circular pendant turned black as night. A shaky hand held it out, her eyes returning to its previous state. “You will wear this.”

“I—” Azriel was stuck on what to say. Should he thank her? Refuse the necklace that belonged to Callista? Be wary of whatever effects the necklace may have? “I cant take this. This isn’t mine.”

“It is only a necklace. Think of it as a parting gift. Something to establish trust or whatever it is you need to explain it. Gesture of good will.” She shrugs. When she sees Azriel’s concern she once squeezes his hand, “I have plenty more just like it.”

“My arm tires, are you going to take the necklace or not.” Azriel finally looks away unable to have read Callista’s face. To figure out whether this is of any importance to her. He grabs the necklace with as much care as he can manage. Syra begins to explain, “When you have this on any nonphysical magic will cease to affect you. Including your friend’s mind reading. Your own gifts shouldn’t be affected. Keep it hidden. Keep it safe.”

“How do you know?” Azriel looked at the older fae’s deep violet eyes. She smiled wryly.

“I simply do.”

Azriel nods, “Thank you.”

He turns to Callista who quickly places the necklaces over him, tucking it into his shirt. “I wish you the best.” She says as she gently taps where the amulet rested.

“I will be back. I’ll figure out how to come back.” He turns to Syra who he can feel studying him, “I will make it up to the both of you.”

“You will not see me again.” The old lady waves him off and he chuckles dryly.

Azriel tries to find the words for the various different emotions bubbling inside him. Callista stops him from saying anything, only echoing her last sentiments. “Best of luck, safe travels.”

She takes a couple steps back, making an effort not to show the jealousy and hurt she feels etching itself in her heart. He smiles, a mischievous smirk growing, “You should know. Its Azriel.”

Callista blinks, not expecting him to say anything more, “W-what?”

“My name. Its Azriel.”

Her face only shows a faint smile as Azriel can only bow his head before easily blending into the shadows of the dimly lit room. Though he had warned her of his ability it was still shocking to see him disappear so easily, mesmerizing. She told herself this was inevitable, that no one ever stays forever. It was wise to have not gotten attached. And while she wouldn’t admit it, it was hard to not be glad to know his name. His departure seemed to steal some of the warmth from the room. She wondered how long it would take him to travel that way. If he maybe could make it back. No one ever had the ability to travel like that.

“You worry too much child, you will see him again soon.”

“Syra, you said so yourself that we wouldn’t be seeing him again.”

“I will not be seeing him again.” She hobbled back to her bed, “You. You will see him soon enough.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

➽───────────────❥

He took a sharp inhale of breath as he arrived at the house of wind. At the training area he had often helped Nesta, Gwyn and Emery. Did he mean to come here? He was barely able to take a few steps as he is almost immediately he is nearly tackled by Nesta.

“You’re back!”

“I am.” He looks around, noticing the lack of snowfall. He remembers Callista’s warning, “How long has it been?”

“You don’t know?” When he shakes his head, Nesta worries of where exactly hes been, “Its been almost three months.”

“That’s…impossible.” How long was he asleep? Did he forget how many days he had been there? How could he forget anything?

Almost immediately everyone had winnowed or flown in. They were all talking at him but he was still getting his bearings. Eventually Amren makes her voice cut through the crowd, “So are you going to tell us where you were?”

“I just remember flying to look for more possible allies.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mor asked

Because I was upset, he thought. “I thought I had. I wasn’t in the mood for another winter solstice at the time.”

He can feel certain faces drop: Elain, Rhysand. He could see the rest of them looking or glaring at the two. Mor tries to lighten the mood again, giving him a hug he doesn’t return, “Well it wasn’t the same without you, we can celebrate late. Right?”

She asks everyone else but Azriel is the one to respond, “No. That’s all right. I think I just need to rest. Nesta can I use a room here?”

“You don’t have to ask.” Azriel nods but he feels numb…empty. When he finally does sleep he think about Callista. Her face, her smile, her scent… He was half tempted to see if he could make it back, but moreso was determined to go back with a kind of solution first.

“Somethings off.” Amren states

“He could just be tired.” Elain tried

“No, shes right.” Rhysand interjects, “Wherever he went, I cant read him. At all. I didn’t even know he had come back. Couldn’t tell.”

“Well, maybe hes practiced blocking you.” Nesta moves her head, daring him to challenge her. “Something’s happened, but we don’t need to accuse him of not caring. We’ll just push him away.”

Feyre flinches, knowing exactly what her sister went through after she finally opened up to her in private. Rhysand is aware of what shes feeling, she wouldn’t speak to anyone for weeks when she found out why Nesta had been so down. She would only talk to Nesta and pretend around Nyx. The rest of time she would be in her room crying about not feeling enough for her sister.

“So what do you suggest Nesta?”

“Watch it.” Cassian growled

“Me and Cassian will be here. Its better if don’t all overwhelm him. Can we at least agree on that?” Everyone mumbled an agreement.

“I should talk to him. Just to let him know we’re here.” Mor states

“No. Nesta’s right. He knows he will have people in this house. Leave him alone.” Feyre voice was steady but everyone knew it was a command. Mor eyes seem to flicker with rage but she nodded. Nesta shooed everyone away, and asked the house to get him some food. Cassian was silent, Nesta squeezed his hand. Leading him to their room.

“Did you see it?” She whispered as loudly as she dared

“What?”

“His shadows.” Cassian shook his head, “When Mor approached him… they didn’t go away this time. They grew.”

➽───────────────❥

#acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x you #azriel x oc

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whats-it-mean · 5 months

Note

hi hii! may i request either 03 or 09 (or john !! whichever u think would be most interesting) x reader going through the effects of the unforgiven veredict？

if what i mean isnt understandable i can explain further

Innocent in their eyes ☆

Fuuta Kajiyama + Mikoto Kayano (separate) x reader

A/N - Fuuta is my cat. i love him. Hope its ok i went with mikoto rather than john, but i’ve been wanting to write for the silly boy for a bit so i took this as a bit of an excuse to do so ^^ (john does kinda make an appearance tho)

C/W - Anxiety, hearing voices

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Fuuta Kajiyama

Any concern he had for his own well being was gone in an instant as Fuuta rushed to your figure, you being curled up and shaking in the corner of your cell. In a matter of seconds, his arms were wrapped around you and you were brought right up against his chest, his breathing just as rapid as yours as your tears wet his clothes.

You sputtered out a faint apology, followed by ‘this is my fault’, and the boy practically shattered. He desperately tried to pull you closer, burying his face in your shoulder as he held you.

“Shut up. No it’s not.” His voice was almost frantic as he spoke. “It’s not your fault, okay? Don’t.. don’t say that.”

For the first time in a while, it felt like the voices constantly condemning you hushed while Fuuta hugged you on the floor. It was comfortably silent as he simply held you, breathing heavily from the way he ran immediately to you from where he’d been upon hearing about tour verdict.

He knew full well how awful it was, the way the voices never stopped, the way it felt like you were constantly being watched, being judged. The pain was almost unbearable for him, but the idea of you suffering through that brought out a side of him nobody ever saw. He was scared- All he ever wanted was to make sure you were okay and safe, and the idea of you having to suffer through the anguish of a guilty verdict was worse than his own.

You let out a weak smile as his breathing finally started to slow back to a normal pace, and felt yourself leaning into his hold. “….Thank you.”

A slight calm washed over him as he heard your voice, and his grip tightened. “It wasn’t your fault. You.. You aren’t guilty, okay?”

He sighed, smiling against your shoulder as he hugged you.

“You’re as innocent as can be as far as i see it.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Mikoto Kayano

No words were spoken as Mikoto slid himself next to you on your mattress, quietly offering you a mug of hot chocolate with a tired smile. He leaned over you slightly, placing his arm on your shoulder and let his fingers play around with your hair. All you could bring yourself to do was stare into the mug, but you laid your head on Mikoto’s shoulder in a small show of gratitude.

“You know..” His voice was quiet as he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear. “Es is wrong. We’re gonna get out of here soon, okay? I promise.”

With the hand that wasn't already busy with your hair, you felt his fingers entwine with yours as he squeezed your hand ever so slightly. He was convinced even before now that the verdicts given by Es weren’t accurate- As far as Mikoto knew, both of you were there by mistake, but that didn’t stop the turmoil that came with being deemed guilty.

For days since receiving the verdict, you had stayed holed up in your cell. You wouldn't even leave for meals, and so Mikoto coming by like this with food and drinks had become a routine over the past few days. He was the only one you were willing to see at the time, and even then you barely spoke to him, just sitting next to him and taking in all the warmth he had to offer to distract you from the pain.

And watching you go through that triggered emotions in him he hasn’t had to deal with in a long time.

He couldn’t remember any of it, but some of the other prisoners told him he’d even gotten into a fistfight trying to stop Kotoko from hurting you. And even without memory of the fact, as he sat here, your hand in his with him whispering any sort of encouragement he could to you, there was no doubt about it;

You didn’t deserve this, and while he may not know it yet, you could tell he was gonna be doing something about it later.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── End

#⤥ Mairu Writes !#milgram #milgram x reader #mikoto kayano x reader #fuuta kajiyama x reader #mikoto kayano #john kayano #john kayano x reader #fuuta kajiyama #fuuta milgram #mikoto milgram #john milgram #orekoto #09 x reader #03 x reader

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satelliteddie · 2 years

Text

satellite - e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie will never tell you how he really feels, he cant risk losing you… but after he almost loses you to an injury in the upside down, eddie finds himself spinning out waiting for you to realize how in love he is.

content warnings: language, injuries (bruises, demo-bat wounds, scars, etc.), fainting, kissing

word count: 5.3k

author’s notes: okay so i kinda sorta altered the plot of s4 for this to work (for obvious reasons), but its simply for angst purposes…kk bye :)

You got a new life

Am I bothering you?

Do you wanna talk?

We share the last line

Then we drink the wall

'Til we wanna talk

I go 'round and 'round

Satellite

Eddie didn’t realize when he introduced you to Robin and Steve that you would so easily slip into their friend group. Of course he knew everyone would love you, but he didn’t realize how much. Before he was even aware, his circle of friends had grown to a number that was behind his comprehension. For the longest time it was just you and him against everyone else. Now, there was Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, his band/Hellfire members, and all the younger kids. He loved all of them, even though he’d never admit that, but he missed the times when it was just the two of you in his room in the trailer. You got a new life, one that he introduced you to… how could he be jealous of that when he was the reason you knew all of them? It was stupid to be jealous of people that didn’t know you like he did. Eddie was your best friend – he knew that. He did. Yet, he still felt you slipping away slowly and maybe not intentionally, but you were. He was starting to feel like it was all his fault. When Eddie did talk to you when all of you were together it was like he was bothering you. It was crazy to think that, truly. Eddie was your everything and you were his. The issue was, Eddie wasn’t sure if “everything” meant the same thing to you as it did to him. He is in love with you. Stupid, mindnumbing, all-consuming love. He tried to give himself space from you, thinking maybe that would clear his head. Spoiler: it didn’t work. Instead, he roped you into even more chaos when he told you about the Upside Down and all of its supernatural entities. Which brought him to the Wheeler’s basement, listening as you and the others discussed the next moves. Eddie runs his fingers through the ripped holes in his jeans, pulling at the loose threads.

“I just don’t understand why we have to go back there.” Robin says, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“Yeah, I’m not following Nance,” Steve shakes his head. “If we know Vecna is dead, why would we go back?” After the Earthquake and massive fight across multiple dimensions, the physical form of Vecna had not been seen and no suspicious deaths had occurred. The group was able to clear Eddie’s name and blame it on Satanic Panic, and more “chemical leaks” still happening due to the Hawkins Labs. However, you all knew better than to bask in the peace because the fight was only starting.

“We don’t know he’s dead, Steve.” Nancy gives Steve a pointed look.

“Listen,” your voice catches Eddie’s attention. He tilts his head up watching you intently as you speak, “I don’t want to go back either, but Nancy is right. If we want to save Max, we have to try.” The rest of the group gives somber frowns as they think about Max and how she’s barely holding on as of now. It’s killing each of you slowly to know that she suffered because your plan went awry. “Eddie?” You turn to him with unwavering eyes, “what do you think?”

I’d follow you into the literal depths of Hell if that's what you wanted, he thinks while holding your gaze. He stands from the couch, brushing his hands against his jeans, “I think we should make sure the fucker is dead.”

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Spinning out, waiting for ya

Eddie swore he would never return to the Upside Down after the last close call, but instead he was chucking a rope having upgraded from bed sheets through the gate in his ceiling to enter again. There’s no way this is my life, he shakes his head as the rope thumps on the ground on the other side. Your cool fingers grip his forearm, turning him to you.

“We’re going to be okay,” you say in a reassuring tone. Eddie wants to get on his knees and beg you to stay here. Or run away from Hawkins with him. Or do anything besides this.

“How do you know that?” He asks, his voice hoarse. Eddie blinks slowly, his eyes lingering on your mouth.

“I don’t,” you sigh. You tighten the military-grade vest around your torso, trying to do something with your shaking hands. Eddie notices your anxious movements and places his larger hands on yours. You look up at him with misty eyes and a small smile. He mirrors your expression before turning his face down to rest his forehead on the top of your head. Eddie inhales a shaky breath, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline. Your friendship always bordered the line of more than platonic, but Eddie knew he couldn’t risk admitting his feelings to you. So he would steal forehead kisses and hugs whenever he could. It was wrong for him to do it now when you were so scared, but he needed to comfort you in the only way he knew how. He wanted to tell you that he was always going to be right here, waiting for you; but instead all he said was, “c’mon let’s get this over with.”

-✩-

You flop down on the mattress in the Upside Down, Eddie extends his hand and pulls you up from the floor.

“I’ll never get used to this,” you groan as you stand.

“We shouldn’t have to,” Eddie agrees, but it sounds more like an annoyed comment to you. You and Eddie head towards the front door of the trailer, Eddie hesitates before grabbing the doorknob. He feels his pulse in every square inch of his body, the majority focused on his scars. The scars were a part of him that he grew to accept, but coming back to the place that gave him those imperfections was not something he ever wanted to do. Ever. His mind races to the last time he was here; I almost died, he feels dizzy as the memory returns. “Sorry,” he apologizes and shakes the thought from his head. You grip his arm again with just enough force to ground him.

“Eds,” you give him a weak smile. “It's me,” you slide your hand from his arm into his hand. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I get it, this is asking a lot of you. We’ll be home soon.”

You and Eddie are deep into the forest, skipping over vines and twigs as you move through the trees. Steve, Robin and Nancy decided to take the other gate at Lover’s Lake, claiming it was smarter to split up and meet in the middle. Eddie wanted to yell at them and say that's how everyone in horror movies dies, but when you agreed to the plan he followed your lead. So far you had managed to avoid all demo-creatures as you and Eddie spoke in hushed voices. You step carefully over vines, still holding Eddie’s hand in a deathgrip. Eddie tried to ignore the flutter of his heart every time he felt your palm press to his, but he can’t stop imagining being able to hold your hand whenever he wanted.

“I think I need to go to a concert when we finally get out of here,” you comment without any previous conversation. Eddie scrunches his eyebrows as he gives you a confused look. “I’m just saying, I think we all deserve to scream our hearts out at a concert.”

Eddie doesn’t disagree, hell he never disagrees with you, yet he can’t help but laugh at your thoughts. “Only you would be thinking about live music right now,” he grins, brushing his thumb over your hand.

“Mmm, if only I knew someone in a band.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “If only,” Eddie flashes you a lopsided grin.

I'm in an L.A. mood

I don't wanna talk to you

She said, "Give me a day or two"

I go 'round and 'round

Satellite

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in

Finally, the daunting Creel House comes into view as you and Eddie stop at the mailbox. In the distance bike tires crunch along the road. Steve, Robin and Nancy head towards you on bicycles that are way too small for them.

“No fair,” Eddie groans. “They got bikes!”

“Eds.” You roll your eyes.

“I know, not the point.” He mocks you with a playful smirk.

“Alright, love birds,” Steve interrupts, causing you and Eddie to clear your throats at the same time. You’re not sure, but you could swear you see a faint blush rise on Eddie’s cheeks.

The five of you push open the doors to the house, stepping inside with as much stealth as you can. Robin and Eddie focus all their attention to where they step, both of them convinced they’re going to trip if they move upstairs. While you, Steve and Nancy scan the house for any signs of Vecna on the second floor and attic. The floorboards creak under every step you take, some of them becoming loose entirely and falling to the first floor below. Nancy grips your arm, pulling you away from the opening in the ground; she offers you a small smile before you continue into the next room. Steve and Nancy head into Henry’s old bedroom while you stay in the hallway to watch for any other movement. You hear Robin and Eddie’s hushed voices through the slats of the house as they move around below you.

“You still didn’t tell her? Eddie!” Robin asks, with what you can only imagine is a shove to Eddie’s shoulder.

“Shh,” Eddie whispers, but it’s just loud enough for you to hear. “I haven’t found the right time to. I don’t think she’ll ever feel that way about me…it’s not just some crush, I love her.” It feels like all the oxygen in the room was sucked out as you continue to listen. Eddie’s in love? Who was he in love with? When did he know? Why didn’t he tell me? So many questions bounce around in your brain as you try to piece together how you could have missed it. Eddie was in love with someone and he didn’t tell you. Your heart broke as you continued to hear Robin beg Eddie to tell this girl he loved. You could never place where your true feelings fell for Eddie. He was always your safe space, your best friend, your everything. You love him, but you couldn’t fall in love with him without knowing he would feel the same. It was too risky, too unknown…so instead you pushed your romantic feelings deep down. It was safer to know you had him in your life for good without the uncertainty of telling him how you really felt. You tilt your head towards the end of the hall trying to hear Robin and Eddie better.

“It’s— I don’t know. She’s my best friend, y’know? I can't risk losing her if she doesn’t feel the same.”

“Eddie,” Robin's voice is gentle. “You’ve been in love with her since the moment you met. She loves you too, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, and you notice what sounds like shuffled foot steps. You can picture Eddie scuffing his shoes on the ground out of nerves. “How do you know?”

“You don’t see the way she looks at you when you’re not looking. Y/N loves you— in the same way you love her.”

He’s in love with me? Your head spins as you slowly step back towards the stairs, trying desperately to hear more of their conversation. Your body acts before you’re able to think straight, you step forward on another loose floorboard…but this time Nancy isn’t there to catch you. You crash through the floor, wood splitting across the hall as you lay among the broken pieces. You gasp for air, having felt the wind get knocked out of you when you fell. You stop your panicked breathing to try and level yourself.

Eddie rushes to the noise from the other side of the hall, unsure of what happened; but when he sees you, his entire world stops. It feels like time moves even slower as he approaches you with bated breath. Please be alive. You gasp for air again and the clock is back to normal pace as Eddie reaches you. He kneels by your side, not caring if he’s stepping on any of the “hive”. Eddie’s gentle as he reaches for your cheek; your attention is frantic as you scan the room trying to breathe correctly again. Your sides and back ache and every time you breathe it feels like fire should come out. You try to push yourself up to reach Eddie. You just want him to hold you and take you home. He lets you move slowly, but makes sure you don’t go too fast.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Eddie tries desperately to get you to look at him. He strokes his thumbs over your cheekbones, his calmness makes you focus on him. It can’t be that bad if he’s looking at me like this…right? Your thoughts race as you watch Eddie carefully scan over the rest of you. There’s no obvious injuries which calms and concerns him at the same time. “Look at me, sweetheart.” Your heart suddenly feels like it’s on fire too, but you know it’s not from the fall. He takes your hand in his and places it on the center of his chest. “Breathe with me, okay?” Eddie inhales and holds his breath for a moment before releasing it. He drags out the exhale for longer than he normally would before repeating the same process. Your eyes stay focused on his hand covering yours on his chest as you repeat his movements. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. You raise your eyes from your joined hands to Eddie’s eyes. His face cracks into a small smile, his eyes glossy as he looks at you. “You’re okay,” he says, trying to convince both you and him of it.

“I’m okay,” you repeat back in a hoarse voice. Eddie feels his heartbeat in his ears, every cell in his body is on fire as he watches you. I could have lost her, I could still lose her.

“We have to go,” Eddie’s voice is shaky as he looks for support from the others. Steve, Nancy, and Robin all stand behind Eddie watching you intently. No one wants to panic you or overreact, but each of their faces are scrunched in concern. No one argues with him as they all help you stand, Eddie’s hand finding your side and pulling you to him.

“Eddie, I’m okay.” You insist, “I can walk. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Just give me a day or two and I’ll be good as new.”

Eddie looks down at you under his arm, “I don’t care if you can walk. I’m holding you until we get back to Hawkins. Maybe even after that.” You hesitate to answer, but Eddie continues, “can't take you anywhere, huh?”

You jab your elbow into his ribs, which he pretends you gravely injured him as he gasps. You rest your head against Eddie’s side laughing lightly.

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Eddie refused to leave your side the entire trip home and even after that. He made sure to give you “absolutely-necessary” piggy back rides up the stairs, made you his favorite snacks, and “borrowed” movies from Family Video. He finally left your house a full 24-hours later, after making sure you slept through the night. Your heart fluttered as you watched him sleep in the chair in the corner of your room. He adamantly refused to stay in your bed, claiming you needed the space to rest. Eventually when Eddie did leave for Hellfire the next day, his eyes looked over every bruise on your body before pulling you into a tight hug. He squeezed you into him, making sure not to go too hard even though he wants to. You grumble into his chest, “Eddie, you have to go. They're going to be waiting for you. I’m fine. I’ll be here when you get back,” you tilt your face up. Eddie offers you a soft smile which you mirror. He brushes the stray hairs away from your face before keeping his hands on your face for a little too long. “Eds,” you say after he doesn’t respond.

“Yeah,” Eddie shakes his head and drops his hands from your face. “I’ll be back tomorrow, please call me if you need anything,” you try to argue, but Eddie narrows his eyes at you. “You’re not going to be a bother, so don’t even say that. Hellfire can wait.” His eyes and mind are scattered as he looks at you; he wants to tell you how much he wants to stay. Never has he ever wanted to skip Hellfire…but he doesn’t want to leave you. His heart constricts against his chest, every emotion and feeling he has for you being trapped inside.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you promise in a hushed voice.

Right here, right here

Spinning out, waiting for ya

I'm here, right here

Wishing I could be there for ya

Be there for ya

Be there for ya, for ya

Focusing on the conversation during lunch the following day was even harder than Eddie expected. Every time he tried to pay attention to whatever the table was discussing, his mind kept wandering off to think about you. Eddie had replayed the night in the Upside Down too many times, but he kept harboring so much guilt about it. What if I told her no? What if we didn’t go back? What if she stayed downstairs? What if I was with her? Eddie's mind frantically ran over the same questions, tormenting him. He kept sneaking glances over at where Robin was sitting, wondering whether or not he should ask if she heard from you. You and Eddie didn’t share the same lunch period or any of the same classes so it was impossible to know how your day was going. Maybe I’ll skip English and wait by her locker? No, that’s pathetic. You’ll see her in a couple of hours—

“…after that Nancy wants to visit y/n. Y’know make sure she’s okay after this morning, but maybe Nancy can drop me off afterwards.” Mike mentions nonchalantly to Dustin as he explains why he can’t make it to Will’s tonight.

“You didn’t bring your bike?” Dustin asks, but Mike has no time to answer before Eddie cuts him off.

Eddie feels his pulse thumping in his ears, “what happened this morning?”

“What do you mean?” Mike shakes his head, “she didn’t tell you?”

“Wheeler, what the fuck happened to her?”

“She passed out or something trying to go back upstairs before school, I don’t know you’d have to—”

Eddie doesn’t hear the rest of what Mike has to say before his chair is scraping across the tile floor of the cafeteria. He rushes out of the cafeteria and out of the school before any teachers notice—and if they do notice, no one stops him. Eddie turns over the key in his van, cursing over and over about how you should have called. He feels like he’s going crazy. You’re consuming his every thought, worry, feeling, action, emotion. Everything. You consume him entirely. He’s so deeply in love with you that all caution and rationality has been thrown out the window. Eddie drives like a mad man to get to your house as fast as he can; his arms are covered in goosebumps when he pulls up to your house. He pushes the car door open and practically spills out onto the pavement. His breathing is staggered when he slams a fist against the front door. Eddie gives one quick look around your driveway to determine your parents are not home. Screw it. He thinks as he turns the doorknob and barrels inside.

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in (spinning out, waiting)

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Spinning out waiting for ya (for ya, for ya) to pull me in (for ya)

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

You wake up to the sound of someone yelling your name through your house. For a moment you panic about the fact that someone is inside, but when the voice calls again you realize it’s Eddie. Every muscle in your body relaxes as you start to sit up in bed. Your head kills, but physically your body is starting to feel better.

“I’m in my room!” You call as you shuffle around your comforter. Swinging your legs over the edge, you sit on the bed waiting for Eddie. Eddie’s heavy steps bound up the stairs, and the door swings open before you realize he’s even made it to your room. His brown eyes are glossy as he scans over your entire room before rushing to your bedside. He collapses to his knees, his chest pressed into your legs as his arms wrap around your waist. You gasp at his dramatic display, but quickly you run your fingers through his curls. A smile pulls at your lips as you look down at him, “are you okay?”

“Am I okay? Fuck- are you okay?” Eddie asks in between sniffles pressed to your shirt. He leans back and wipes his face with his shaky hands. “Jesus, what happened?” He rests his palms on your thighs, rubbing his thumb over your skin softly. He frowns as he takes in the deep purple, yellow and red splotches that cover your skin from your fall.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, still moving your hands through his hair. “I was fine getting up this morning, but going down the stairs was a lot. So when I realized I left my keys upstairs I had to go back for them.” You try to smile at Eddie and calm him, but his face remains just as worried. “I was like half way up them when it all went blurry. Nancy found me there when she came to drive me to school.” Eddie’s blood runs cold thinking about how lifeless you must have looked laying on your stairs. He can’t see you get hurt again, he can’t lose you. “I begged her not to call you. Believe me, she wanted to. So please don’t be mad at her,” you give him a stern look, but there’s no reason to because Eddie will always listen to you. He nods as you continue, “I just didn’t want to worry you. I already knew how much of your day I took up yesterday, I made you late to Hellfire, you slept in a chair–”

“I wanted to.” Eddie replies without hesitation. You brush your hands over his curls again, giving him a weak smile. His heart pounds like a jackhammer against his ribs. I have to tell her, he decides. Every voice of reason screams for him to stop before he’s ruined it all… but Eddie can’t take it anymore.

“Eddie,” you frown. “I love how concerned you are for me. I do. You’re the best friend I could ask for–”

“Don’t do that,” Eddie’s voice catches as he speaks. His eyes dart away from yours as he stands to his full height.

“Do what?” You ask, trying to rise from the bed. Eddie fights every urge to tell you to sit back down so he can hold you.

“Don’t you know that I am right here? I want you to bother me. I want you to call me. I want you. I feel like– fuck. I feel like I’m going crazy, sweetheart.” Eddie bitterly laughs as he turns away from you. All of his emotions are battling each other as he combs a nervous hand through his hair. “I’m just spinning out waiting for you to pull me in. So please,” he begs. “Please just pull me in and tell me.”

“Tell you–”

“Tell me you love me,” a tear slips from his eyes and down his cheek. “Or just put me out of my misery.”

Spinning out, waiting for ya (for ya, for ya) to pull me in (for ya)

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

Time stops just like it had when you fell. Eddie is certain he’s in an extremely lucid dream because there is no way he just professed his love for you like he had. He claimed he hated all those romantic movies you forced him to watch, but whenever he thought about telling you how he felt, he remembered all those corny movies. Eddie had planned for the large, romantic gesture to sweep you off your feet; instead he was in tears about losing you before he even had you. He felt like he was going crazy. There was nowhere to put all of these emotions that he felt for you. It all came so easily and naturally to him, he didn’t even realize how in love with you he was until Robin pointed it out. Now after seeing you hurt he couldn’t take it anymore, you had to know how he felt. The clock resets as Eddie stares down at you on the bed, he watches you play with your hands like you always do when you’re nervous.

Your mind feels like it’s in a fog. You knew how Eddie felt, but you couldn’t be sure he was only telling you because of everything that happened. You didn’t want him to feel pressured into saying how he felt all because you couldn’t make it up the stairs.

“I do love–” you start to say as your mind clears.

“Not like that,” Eddie turns to you. His voice is harsh, but all of his features remain soft as silent tears roll from his eyes. “You know what I meant Y/N.”

“Eddie,” you feel your own eyes starting to tear up as you watch him.

“Tell me. Either way– Christ. Just- please, just tell me.”

“Do you mean it?” You ask and Eddie starts to talk, but you raise a hand to him. “Not just because I’m hurt, or because Robin told you to tell me. Do you mean it?”

“Robin? What are you– You heard us?”

“I heard you through the floors. That’s, mmm,” you hesitate to continue. Eddie sinks down to meet your eyeline again. “I was trying to listen when I fell.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice is soft as uses a finger to tilt your chin up to look at him.

“I just want to make sure you’re not just saying it to say it.”

“I love you,” Eddie replies, his eyes lingering on your mouth. “I’m in love with you. I always have been. I would have told you no matter what. This,” he gestures to your bruises on your legs. “Just gave me the courage to say it.”

“Really?” The floodgates to your emotions break, every ounce of love you have for Eddie rushing to the front. Eddie slowly reaches his hands up from your legs to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“Really,” Eddie smiles and all the mixed emotions have seemed to clear from his eyes.

“Come up here, please,” your voice wavers as you talk. Eddie wastes no time to climb onto the bed next to you. His thigh brushes yours as he sits down, you keep your focus on his legs as Eddie peers down at you. Eddie nudges your shoulder with his and tilts his head forward to try to meet your eyes. You close your eyes and take a deep breath in. “We can’t mess this up, Eds. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m right here,” Eddie replies without any indecision. He will always be right here for you. Through the crazy, unpredictable, supernatural, natural, and everything in between. He squeezes your thigh once, “I’m not going anywhere.”

You melt into him, wrapping your arms around his torso and pulling yourself into his side. Eddie’s arms linger in the air for a second before he brings you even closer to him. Slowly, he lowers both of you down to lay on the bed; you keep your arms wrapped around his waist, not caring if his weight makes the one fall asleep. For the first time in days, it feels like your heart beats at a normal rate – slow and steady, as your breathing syncs with Eddie’s. “Eddie?” You look up at him, but he’s already smiling down at you. “I love you,” you profess feeling a weight lift off your chest and mind.

“I love you,” he smirks so wide his teeth start to peak out. Eddie turns his face down and presses a kiss to your hair; he’s done it a thousand times, but this time is different. It’s like you can feel all his love for you through it now. “So where should our first official date be?”

You humm for a moment trying to think of anywhere that would beat this moment, but you come up empty. You shrug and kiss the side of his ribs, “don’t know, but I’ll go anywhere with you.”

Eddie tries to ignore the way his heart flips, but he knows he’s going to have to get used to it now.

“What about a concert?” Eddie asks brushing away your hair from your face so he can trace your cheek bone. “I believe I heard somewhere that you wanted to scream your heart out at one.”

“You remembered that?” You laugh, raising an eyebrow at him. You lean up to fully look at Eddie; he’s flat on his back, one hand tucked under his head, his other tracing your cheek still.

“Of course I did,” Eddie says as if it’s a ridiculous question. “I remember everything you do.”

You can’t help yourself as you lean forward, your eyes glancing at his lips for a moment. Eddie meets you in the middle, his mouth is soft against yours as he draws you closer with his hands. He works his fingers from your face through your hair and keeps them at the base of your neck. Your lips melt into Eddie’s, he tastes like mint and tobacco — it’s addictive. He works his mouth over yours, his tongue traces your bottom lip gently. Eddie pulls away with a grin, moving his hand from your hair to brush his thumb over your bottom lip. You whine as his lips leave yours, causing him to smile more.

“Easy sweetheart,” Eddie says, pulling at your lip again. “Take me on a date first.”

You tilt your head at him, “oh, really?”

“Fuck no,” Eddie breaks. He pulls you closer, his focus back on your mouth, “we have a lot of time to make up for.”

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

ahhhh my (user)name-sake <<33 I love this song so much, I am a satellite girly thru and thru... gotta love a sad song with a happy beat

next in the series: boyfriends - s.h.

✭masterlist ✭ requests

-meg

#eddie munson #eddie munson writing #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fics #st x harrys house #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson friends to lovers #eddie munson angst

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heybaetae · 5 months

Text

alright, his letter really got me.

if i can get kinda personal really quick—which i usually avoid doing too much—i promise it’s warranted if you feel like reading to the end of this post in which i’m about to share some things about a deeply painful experience i went through this year and am still enduring the weight of. if you follow me closely enough, you probably know what i’m referring to…

before i do though, i want to mention how truly mind blowing it is that someone who already means a lot to you can somehow keep becoming more and more important as time goes on without even doing much, really, just by being there. since the start of the year, i have not been in the best mental state. i suffer from anxiety and depression which causes me to have a really tough time sleeping and it’s only gotten worse over the months.

i cannot stress enough how many times jungkook lifted my spirit and my mood on some of my worst days/nights since he started doing his frequent weverse lives. it sounds bleak to say because it is, but he was one of the only constant sources of light in my life this year. i can’t tell you how many times it felt like whenever i was feeling my lowest or was riddled with dread about something, i’d suddenly get a notif that he was live. like he’d just pop up when i’d need a distraction the most. even if it was a temporary relief, it would often help take my mind off of things and sometimes it was the only time i’d smile or laugh in an entire week. he was already such a comforting person to me, but it was only amplified every time he went live seeking the same feeling and i quickly found a lot of solace in the thought that we both seeked a familiar warmth for a while. i think a lot of people felt the same. i was seriously getting though the first half of the year thanks to the music the members were releasing and jk’s lives. that’s it. not much else was driving me forward.

then june 11th happened. that morning, i was woken up by my mom telling me my older sister was unresponsive in the hospital. i won’t go into specifics of what happened, but i ended up spending the whole day at home alone while the rest of my family rushed to the hospital. i couldn’t go with them. i knew i wasn’t going to be able to handle it and that made me feel absolutely riddled with guilt. instead, i spent hours in bed just waiting for text updates of what was going on, but they were few and far between. all i’d been told was that they were going to turn her life support off at some point in the day and i hadn’t heard anything after that for a few hours, so i didn’t know if it had happened yet or not for what felt like ages. i felt totally in the dark.

so i was laying there feeling numb, not doing anything but trying to reconcile with losing a sibling so soon and staring at my phone, willing news to come through but also praying it would stay silent. in my denial, silence meant what was happening wasn’t actually happening.

then that 🌟 JK live notif came through out of no where and i felt my heart literally stutter because there was just no fucking way. this was the first time i’d ever gotten that notif at that hour in my timezone. he rarely did morning lives, what on earth could he be doing? why now? why why why?

absolutely nothing in that moment was more important than my sister and what my family was experiencing, but there was literally nothing that i or anyone could do. i was helpless and unable to process the million thoughts and questions running through my head. in my desperate need for that familiar comfort, that distraction, i eagerly clicked the notif and was faced with those big, ridiculous brown eyes blinking at me sideways over the top of a blanket in his bed too. “you can’t be serious,” i said to my screen out loud and then i fucking laughed. incredulously, in disbelief, in amusement, in horror, in grief, in happiness, all of the above.

“how did you know?” i wanted to sob, but all i could do was keep laying there, practically comatose (for lack of a better word), as i watched who had steadily become what felt like my closest and dearest friend across the ocean tell me he wanted company falling asleep. it almost felt like a sick joke the universe was playing on me. like hey, you need a distraction from something really bad happening and it’s not gonna change a thing and it’s parasocial as fuck, but it’s literally the only thing that’s been working so far up until this point aka the lowest point. so here he is, the booooy.

anyway, he fell asleep. i finally rested my eyes. my thoughts calmed down for a brief while. frankly, at the risk of sounding insane, i felt like i was being looked after. supported? no, he had no clue. he was in dreamland and his arm was twitching. he hadn’t even said much after the first few minutes and once he passed out, all that mattered until it would inevitably be cut off was the fact that he was just… there.

my sister passed away not too long after the live was turned off. i wasn’t told until a couple hours later, but the fact is this: in the hour leading up to it, i was successfully distracted and i was comforted. of course, it didn’t last long but it had helped me in the moment i most needed it (again, but x10000) and i am forever in jungkook’s debt for those last few moments of solitude before my entire year was flipped on a permanent axis that day. i’m with one less sister and the grief has been insurmountable.

so i just wanna say if it’s seemed like i’ve been leaning a bit more on jungkook than usual this year, this is why. he’s just been an angel for me, quite literally. it’s also why i refuse to entertain any messages i receive slandering him for whatever reason or accusing me of favoring him over anyone else lately when that’s just not the case. i’m just trying to get by. i’m channeling my grief into my content, my creations, and in doing so, i am channeling my love and appreciation into what is getting me through it the most. so it’s a waste of time to twist it into something it isn’t and i’ll only ever give you a pity laugh and move on. none of the kpop industry jargon that people get mad about these days matters to me at all and life is too short to waste being angry about shit you can’t control. you don’t know what people are going through and you don’t know what someone means to someone else or why. so put your energy towards things that make you happy instead. you’ll feel better. i never owed an explanation, but there it is if you’ve been looking for one.

to wrap this up, i didn’t think i’d ever write any of this down and i could probably write essays just as long as this one for all the other members and what they did for me this year too. it’s going to be incredibly hard to see them go. my ult bias for-fucking-ever, my taehyung, i simply do not know how i’m going to get through my days without him. i just can’t picture or fathom it and i don’t fucking want to. he’s my favorite person in the world. i will be so empty with him gone. there are no words for how painful it’ll be so i’m not even gonna try to find them. my sweet jimin who also brings so much comfort and hilarity into my life, i simply cannot stomach the thought of him going away. my dear namjoon who i swear to god yanks my ass back up above water when i feel like i’m drowning in my feelings and inspires me to be better, what the hell am i gonna do? i’m already spiraling without yoongi’s tranquility. and of course, jungkook, who you now know has just been an incredibly special presence in my life this year. someone i’ve learned so much from, laughed with, cried with, eaten with, rested with, who showed up for me over and over and over and has no idea the impact he had, how grateful i am. i’ll never be able to thank him. thank you thank you thank you for being there for me. thank you all the members for fucking being there for me literally all the time.

this sucks! this sucks but i’m gonna power through it with the rest of you. i’m gonna try.

#tw death #turning reblogs off bc it’s just too personal to let circulate #but thank you for reading it you did

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teecupangel · 1 year

Note

So... You know what Backrooms are, right? In short, it's a nine-minute anthology horror short (the director is a guy named Kane P.), where the Backrooms are basically the "behind the scenes" of reality. You can fall in there through a hole in the street or a crack in the wall for example, and it's crazy divided into levels more and more fucked up. And of course it's all a (kinda) failed government experiment.

Oh, and of course it's all infested with monsters and other really, really fucked up psychedelic stuff.

Anyway! What if, when he goes out to take out the trash, instead of being captured by Abstergo, Desmond ends up being one of the very unfortunate ones who falls into a Backroom?

And on a shitty level, of course, like level two – which is some kind of dry sewer full of really hot pipes, hellish heat, really bad lighting, almost no supplies and monsters/spirits/demons?

To anyone interested, here’s the og short by Kane P.

For the other videos that set in the same setting as Kane P’s original video, try the links in tvtropes.

Okay, so for this one, how about Desmond was about to be grabbed by Abstergo that night but he resists? A fight breaks out and things are looking dire when Cross gets involved after being annoyed by the incompetence of his men who couldn’t even take down a single bartender.

This makes them remind Cross that Desmond is an Assassin and Desmond hears this, realizing that they’re there because of his past. He asks if his dad sent them and Cross laughs, telling Desmond they’re Templars because he sees no point in hiding that little fact, not when Desmond would be strapped into the Animus soon enough anyway.

Maybe his words starts to slur a little, have a noticeable Russian accent to it and Desmond doesn’t know it, would probably never know it, but it was possible that Nikolai’s Bleed is trying to help a fellow Assassin without tipping off Cross.

What Desmond does notice is how sluggish Cross’ moves were slowly becoming and he uses it to his advantage, waiting for the right moment before he tries to make his escape by climbing the nearby wall that would lead to the other side of the alleyway.

Cross grabs him before he could jump off and yanks him back, unfortunately, he lost his balance and they both fell.

Into yellow corridors that was definitely where he was supposed to fall to.

And with Cross with him.

So Desmond runs to make his escape and Cross chases after him…

Because it was more important to find a way out before this crazy asshole gets his hand on him.

And Cross is already too unstable that he can’t think straight right now. He needed to get Desmond Miles as soon as possible so he can return to Abstergo and get inside an Animus to fight off the upcoming Bleed.

Neither of them noticed…

The dark entity that had started to follow them…

Unorganized Notes:

This can either end with Cross and Desmond forming a rocky alliance after they finally meet the Wire Monster(s) that lurks in the Backrooms, Cross’ Bleed of Nikolai finally taking over and acting as both Desmond’s protector and also giving exposition of how the Brotherhood had heard rumors of the Backrooms but they never really knew anything about it, at the very least, not the Russian Brotherhood during Nikolai’s time, only that it exists in some form or another, or… you know… Desmond sees the Wire Monster kill Cross so he knows just how fucked he’d be if the monster gets him.

Desmond’s gonna keep dropping into different floors, that’s for sure. The yellow corridor is his entry ‘level’ but the more he tries to find a way out, the more levels he gets to suffer thru.

From what I understand, the Backrooms have always ‘existed’ and the government just started to try and experiment/observe them as a way to have more space so how about…

The Backrooms may be connected to the Grey or information about the Grey and the Backrooms were… well, mixed up.

The truth was the Backrooms were meant to be shelters created by the Isus to protect themselves from the Solar Flare. The Capitoline Triad deemed it a failure because it’s not finished, the barrier would not be enough and they have no idea what side effect the Solar Flare would have on the Backrooms if they remain operational during that time. A few Isus didn’t heed their warning and used it anyway. Unfortunately, the Solar Flare changed the Backrooms, and the… Isus who stayed inside the Backrooms…

Okay, so one of the later twists is that the Backrooms don’t just noclip you to a different space but it can noclip you to a different time. It happened in one of the later videos so how about…

Of course, the common ending would be we’ll be kind to Desmond and let him leave the Backrooms but in a different time. But what about…

Desmond meets other people in the Backrooms who also fell inside, not knowing why, and they’re from different time. He would have possible allies and then, to hammer in the pain, he gets to help them return to their time but, every time he tries to join them, a Wire Monster appears and forces Desmond to run away instead.

It would be so fucked up if it does end with Desmond finally leaving the Backrooms but then… he coughs. (fade to black~)

#oh boy #my love for horror means desmond suffers hahahaha #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #fic idea: crossover #the backrooms #fic idea: creepypasta

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alluraaaa · 9 months

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46. For everyone

46. the person they most admire

this question is so fucking hard, but i mean that in the best possible way. this team clearly has so much affection for one another, but admiration is a specific word and hard to work with, in a way. no lie, my process was staring at my phone, typing something out without thinking, and then realizing what the answer is

shiro: hunk. as team leader, he makes it his responsibility to look after the team’s mental health and let them use him like a therapist. once he makes that known, hunk is very open about how anxious and scared he is, how he’s kinda always been like that. hunk wasn’t studying to be a pilot, doesn’t have anyone in his family who are pilots. he’s young, and he has no idea what he’s doing! he wants to go home!! but he keeps going, not because there’s no other choice, but because he wants to help people more than he wants to see earth. for shiro, who only survived the pits because it was either kill or die, hunk is endlessly inspiring.

keith: shiro. not a lot of explanation is needed here, it’s the obvious answer. while the garrison trio also look up to shiro as a teacher and pilot, keith looks up to shiro for everything. without shiro, keith would be in some juvy on earth instead of getting to save the world. keith owes everything to his brother, who won’t give up on him, no matter how many times it takes.

pidge: lance. she spent the first months knowing him trying desperately to push him away, because it hurt to look at him. he’s just like matt, and she doesn’t wanna just replace him even if it is nice to have someone who shares his jacket and ruffles her hair and cleans her glasses without her asking. but when she spat vitriol at him, he retorted with something just as piercing, not letting her get away with it. and he stayed. despite the war, despite her, he’s still here, blowing raspberries at her and wading through fountains to collect change. so when their barbs got more and more affectionate, she wanted to be mad at how he wormed his way into her heart. but she’s not replacing her big brother, she’s gaining another.

lance: keith. the infamous rivalry was born from admiration, after all, even if he didn’t know it. he was hoping one day he’d be the better pilot, the better paladin, but once he actually was keith’s equal, he found he actually liked it. them butting heads worked in a way nothing else did. it wasn’t hunk’s hugs or pidge’s snark or coran’s stories, it was difficult. there’s pushing and shoving and hair pulling and wet willies and it’s so fun. in a nearly empty castle with only six others, you get bored. having someone who doesn’t look down on you as a person while wrestling over the remote is really nice. not to mention, keith isn’t nearly as perfect and lance thought. to learn that someone he put on a pedestal has flaws and weaknesses that lance compliments? kind of life changing, to say the least.

hunk: pidge. she’s so little and he’s so big but she keeps up with him easily, and sometimes he’s the one who has to keep up. absolutely nothing stops her once she puts her mind to it, and has a way of thinking through things that just eliminates any possibility of anxiety. if there’s a pidge, there’s a way. there are also times, though, when she’s sad or scared or small, but trusts him to not hurt her, despite him being big. she knows he won’t judge her for not understanding a formula, or needing help with a line of code, or crying on his shoulder when she misses her family. he realizes, one quiet night, that she trusts him not despite his size but because of it. she finds comfort in big brothers.

allura: coran. she turns to him for anything and everything, gives orders and trusts he’ll follow them, and he’s the only parent she has left. she knows that he’s suffering just as much as her, but he doesn’t let it stop him the way it stops her sometimes. when it stops her, he’s the only one who can get her going again. she doesn’t know how he does it. and she offers to help, she’s not stupid, she knows he’s keeping the hard parts to himself while also helping her, and she says it’s not fair. she wants to help him too, what can she do to help? but he just brushes the hair away from her face, kisses her forehead, and tells her all he wants is for her to get a full night’s rest. and… she can’t say no to that. when they’re in her bed and he’s serenely narrating his way through a story of his past, she can curl up to his side, close her eyes, and know that no matter what, he’s the constant in her life.

coran: allura. she used to be so happy, and she’s so young, and so hurt, and so tired. but despite it all, or maybe because of it all, she works so hard to fight a man who betrayed them so harshly. if anyone deserves to shirk the responsibility of voltron and live out their days on a peaceful remote planet, it’s the two of them. but she refuses to give up, so neither does he. he does all he can, despite the weariness in his bones, to help her. he’ll polish her helmet visor, braid her hair, wipe away her tears. he’ll polish the ship’s controls, groom his mustache, wipe away his own tears. he’ll do it all, so she doesn’t have to. and when they find out that they weren’t the only alteans left, when they found a new altea, she doesn’t want anyone else officiating her coronation, and he doesn’t want anyone else as queen. they both cry during the ceremony, and he hugs his daughter, holding her close.

(send a character + a number)

#this was so fun omg omg omg #tysm holly <333333 #ask #tarantula hawk wasp #long post #team #hunk&shiro #keith&shiro #lance&pidge #keith&lance #hunk&pidge #allura&coran #give me ANY pair between these seven and i could tell you how much they love each other and why. IM SO NORMAL

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brendathedoodler · 1 year

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May I ask a bit about AS!Legend? His adventure involved multiple dimensions, right? Can I ask what that's all about? Loving your AU! It's so fun to think "hm, how would this Link do in this Hyrule?" Thanks!

I wanna preface this by saying I haven’t played Twilight Princess yet, so I’m gonna avoid the specifics of the plot and focus more on just the general idea for the changes, and specifically how Legend is impacted.

So, essentially Zant’s attempt to take over the Twili realm ended up putting other dimensions in danger as well, something that wasn’t his problem. Legend had to go through a variety of other worlds in order to prevent them from being impacted, harmed, or outright destroyed by Zant’s meddling. He traversed several worlds, but there are three main ones that he got specific transformations for. (These worlds are added as a way to kinda mix how many adventures LU Legend goes on with the singular adventure he takes on here, if that makes sense)

(Continued under the cut)

A big theme in Legend’s adventures is that he never has an advantage. All of his forms are smaller, weaker, and not well equipped for fighting. He’s become a cautious fighter, but a master of evasion. He learned how to run, hide, and escape. It’s better to run and live to fight another day (a mindset he shares with Warriors).

The first main realm is the Twili realm, where he got a bunny form (which is activated by a necklace he wears, hidden under his tunic). In this realm he also met Ravio, a twili cursed to be an imp by Zant for getting in his way. Both of them are small and weak, and so they have to avoid, sneak, and evade enemies to try and get the upper hand. Early in his adventure Legend, being a courageous warrior to the core, often tried to fight his opponents head on. It was usually Ravio who suffered for his impulsivity, and he learned quickly how to evade just to ensure Ravio wouldn’t get hurt.

Legend can’t deny that he caught feelings for the imp that followed him through the journey. It’s why it hurt so much when he had to leave. The Twili realm was saved, but the portals snatched Legend away before he could even say goodbye. He’d never see Ravio again.

The second main world is the oceanic realm, where Legend got a mermaid form (which he uses an anklet to transform into). These mermaids are large, with sharp teeth and claws. Legend is small, clawless, and has dull teeth that could never hope to pierce flesh. This transformation didn’t affect his body visibly, but it had many effects on him that aren’t so obvious. These mermaids are incapable of making the vocal noises of any Hylian, but Legend’s transformation allowed him to make the melodic notes and sharp clicks that make up their language. He can also breathe underwater (but it’s much easier in his mermaid form), and his skin dries out very easily (he has to put on lotion every night and his lips are permanently chapped no matter what he does).

Other than just the transformation effects, Legend also met Marin there. She saw this weird squishy little guy and wanted to help him. She taught him her language and all sorts of things to help him save her world from destruction. At the end of it all, their parting words lasted a little too long, and the final portal that would send Legend home ended up taking Marin with him. She’d never see her home again. Legend tries his best to make his own home work for her, and when he was whisked away on a time travel adventure he’d just finished cleaning his house in preparation of modifying it for her to live more comfortably with him.

The final world he’d visited is the mural realm, where Legend got a 2D painting form (which he can turn into with a bracelet on his wrist). The 2D world was cruel at best. He’s a 3D being that was never meant to function in a world like this. Learning to even walk was difficult, and when fighting there he’s always at a disadvantage because he’s not properly equipped for it. He avoids using his painting form, since it poses the same sort of problems that he faced in the 2D world.

He didn’t meet anyone in particular here, but this is the world where he suffered his greatest injury. In this world of paint, a great weapon from another world was located. An eraser. Legend, being from the 3D world, was not intimidated by a simple eraser. That mistake cost him his hand, but he managed to draw it back later. Unfortunately, his drawing skills are… Subpar at best. His crappy stick hand worked, but when he left the 2D world his hand was instead replaced with something akin to a stalfos.

Legend doesn’t think he’s Hylian anymore. He can make sounds they never could, his hair now grows pink, and his hand has been replaced with magic bone. As much as he enjoys dropping hints and leaving the other members of the chain to guess what he means, he does feel a bit of shame at what he’s become. He was Hylian once, but he can never go back to that.

Learning Twilight can turn into a wolf helped with that somewhat, though admittedly the reveal moment between the two of them was pretty comedic. Twilight transformed from wolf to Hylian, only to turn around and make eye contact with mermaid Legend in the water nearby.

What wasn’t comedic was the reveal of Legend’s hand. He always keeps it hidden under a glove, no matter what. On the bright side, magical bones heal much easier than normal ones, and he’s become accustomed to using his hand to block things he would never do with his flesh hand. If he had to choose between a sword to his skeletal hand or his face, he’d pick his hand in a heartbeat.

The point is, his hand gets badly injured, and he’s forced to reveal it. He argues about it, extra defensive thanks to the pain he’s in, but it’s a fight he won’t win, because nobody is going to let him go with an untreated injury. Two potions and a healing song from Hyrule helped, but it’s not completely fixed. Sky convinces him to let him help, if only because Legend knows it a losing fight and he’d rather reveal it only to one person.

Legend doesn’t like to look at his hand. Everything about it looks wrong, even if it feels natural. The glove makes it easy for him to forget that there’s no longer any flesh there, just bone.

Sky doesn’t say anything about it to the others beyond, “I’ve done the best I can to bandage it. This isn’t the sort of injury I know how to treat”. What kind of treatment can he offer to exposed bone like that? His medical training didn’t mention anything like it. Besides, it’s not his secret to tell, and it’s clear with how much Legend fought them over it that he doesn’t want them to know.

So, to summarize: Legend has trauma around portals after what they took from him and the people he cares about, he has three transformations that have impacted his body in various ways (some more visible than others), and he likes to act mysterious about it even though deep down he struggles with the idea that he’s no longer Hylian.

#linked universe #lu au #lu legend #lu ravio #lu marin #lu adventure swap au #also along with not wearing pants AS Legend refuses to wear shoes too lol #when I play TP I might adjust certain parts of his story to flow better with the main plot #his is def one of the most modified simply because I wanted to toss in his other transformations #and give him more trauma

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trickstarbrave · 8 months

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What does Evil Nerevar see in the Dragonborn that makes him believe it's Voryn?

Regardless of sex or race, what makes Nerevar believe, without a doubt, that it's his Voryn.

I’m still awake but I gotta answer bc I’ve been thinking about it

I think evil Nerevar spiraled shortly after killing dagoth ur. In his mind he’s murdered Voryn a second time and is a failure who can’t even save the person he loved. Azura needed him to lead the Dunmer but Nerevar saw no point to it. The world may as well end. Or he may as well die to join him.

Azura did what she thought was a good thing: gave him visions of his reincarnation. Showed him the world isn’t hopeless as they’ll be reborn as the last dragonborn and slay dragons. That’s kinda why he headed to akavir at first—he thought that’s where dragons were, is Voryn there?? But then he goes back when it’s confirmed no. When dragons return to Tamriel

Though his sanity has still been slipping ngl. The 200 some odd years have not been kind to him. Especially after the corprus nightmares from dagoth ur. Nerevar becomes more than a little paranoid too as there are more and more political attacks on his life following the red year, as people saw it as punishment from the tribunal for Nerevar’s violence towards them. To them, he hurt and chased away their gods, and left them forsaken. A false hero wearing the name of a saint that doesn’t belong to him. A monster who has destroyed their home on his blasphemous mission. A man rumored to have killed the tribunal himself, to those who are willing to believe the worst (most deny that their gods are dead, instead believing they vanished and left them). This left him with a loss of identity, doubting himself further, feeling gaslit and hopeless but pushing through because at some point Voryn will be back. He saw in his visions. Azura promised. He’s seen their face and knows their power. It’s all going to be worth it for Voryn.

To help with managing the people she blessed him to take on his old Chimer appearance and give out blessings of the three, which helped establish the old religion. But there were cracks in the foundation. He made finding Voryn again his kind of life’s mission and goal. The thing that made it all worth while. He never considered the possibility this would be a new person with their own thoughts and feelings who may not remember, want to remember, or even feel the same way as him. (Though the choice will be whether or not you believe your dragonborn is the reincarnation or if Azura was telling some lies to keep him sane in hopes he’d help stop alduin)

Because Nerevar had his identity stripped from himself and rationalized it all away, he believes the same to Voryn’s reincarnation and that it’ll be okay in the end. In his mind Voryn has been just as lost and in pain as him, looking for comfort and answers. Looking for a proper home that Nerevar owes him after all the suffering he put Voryn through in their first life. And at its core it’s not born out of malice.

But it is still toxic. Because he isn’t truly thinking about what the dragonborn might want or need and instead about comforting himself. To keep himself together he’s given up part of his sanity to instead obsess over Voryn and worked himself up into “what if I lose him again? What if he dies? I need to keep him locked up and safe. I can’t lose him again. I can’t bear the thought of seeing him dead again and having to find him all over again. I can’t do this without him”

Sorry if I rambled. Tl;dr: Azura showed him visions of the dragonborn to keep him going and he got more than a little obsessive about it. The funny thing about reincarnations though is not all of them are the same as how Nerevar experienced it having his previous identity stripped from him and was forced to be Nerevar again. Even if the dragonborn is Voryn’s reincarnation that doesn’t mean they wanna just adopt his identity, memories, and play house with Nerevar to keep him happy. And that’s the part he doesn’t get.

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dr3amofagame · 2 years

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JMAH: the wither rose. 🌹

What prompts it? What does Sam think about how well Dream did?

THE WITHER ROSE 👀

Honestly, I think it's something Sam would do early enough where he's not really...expecting Dream to succeed. Probably as a punishment of sorts after Dream was (in his opinion) particularly stand-offish or mouthy or otherwise insubordinate, a little after the debacle of Tommy's death anniversary and the TNT (and the...strange calm of March 16th). He's seeing more obvious effects on Dream's behavior by now, obviously, but not really internalized the depth of his actual control over him, yet, how much of his accidental conditioning is actually having an effect.

So after an interrogation session or something that ends up being particularly frustrating to Sam, he hands him a wither rose and tells him to keep holding onto it, or else. He's not really expecting too much, honestly. The obedience tests, as he begins to implement them, are kind of clumsy - as much as he wants Dream to listen, whether or not he actually expects Dream to follow through can be a lot more complicated. He wants to think that he's making progress, but he also thinks that Dream is stubborn as shit and probably willing to go through quite a lot of pain just to piss Sam off. So he hands it over, checks back a few times to make sure that he's still holding onto it, and then leaves.

As for Dream- well, or else means quite a bit, after the anniversary and the TNT. And it's like- things haven't been as bad as the first two weeks in a while, but w/ fresh memories of how bad things can get and newly shaking hands, he's not exactly keen on inviting Sam's wrath. Besides, holding onto the rose ,, isn't that hard. Not at first. Part of it is almost proof to himself - the wither rose only hurts as long as he holds onto it. There's a degree of control to it that doesn't exist with the potions. In some ways, it's easier to stomach.

So he holds on- and on, and on. Hours pass. The wither creeps up his arms - occasionally, a heal pot splashes above him to negate some of the damage, and he flinches but keeps gripping onto its stem (the wither effect is most concentrated around the petals). Slowly, as it takes its toll, he has a harder and harder time keeping his grip on it - so he ends up kinda awkwardly curled up against the back wall of the cell, letting the head of it rest against his chest to make sure he won't let go. His hands are completely numb. He doesn't think he could lift the rose and place it down if he tried.

When Sam finds him, like this, for a second he does panic a little and think that Dream's like straight up died - to his credit, his health-pot setup has done its job. His second thought is that this is some kind of malicious compliance, Dream trying to get revenge somehow by hurting himself - he did it in the first timeline, and he's done it before in this one as well. It's a combination of the seriousness of Dream's injuries and how out of it he is when he wakes up again that makes Sam maybe think differently - Dream has always been painfully aware of his own mortality, before, and you know. Very very hard to kill. It's not like him to be careless, like this.

Neither of them really approach the implications of it to each other, afterwards. Dream tries not to think too much about how close he could’ve gotten to dying, why he’d obeyed in the first place (he’s no stranger to what Sam is pulling, but he’s not even sure how much he wants to fight back anymore. His obedience scares him; not obeying, a lot of the time, scares him worse.) Sam can’t deny what this could mean, as much as he’s kinda reeling from what it could all mean and telling himself not to fall for Dream’s tricks - after this, the obedience tests definitely ramp up, just to test exactly how far Dream is willing to go and how much is actual control versus something Dream is using to fool him. (Dream is listening to him - isn’t this what he wanted? Is it even real?) Dream suffers a few permanent physical effects from the wither - the skin of his hands has greyed and blackened, and his fingers are colder than they used to be, going numb pretty often. Where the head of the rose had rested against his chest, there’s some more of the darkened skin as well as blackened veins around his heart and stretching up above his collar, easily visible through how pale his skin has become everywhere else.

#the day after the wither rose incident is a relatively light one for dream #obviously it was because of his injuries #but. it still feels a little like a reward.#dream was /good/#both of them are still struggling about what being /good/ means #kat :D #my asks !!#just me and him AU #time traveler sam AU #tw abuse #tw torture #tw conditioning #sam starting to realize that his whole torture reward/punishment system has tangible effects:#(that's a surprise tool that'll help us later :) )

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radiantpriamos · 2 years

Text

Return

He’d gotten a little stir-crazy, was all.

Priam hiked back through the now familiar woods and forests surrounding the monastery. Even back when he’d lived in his village on the island in Ylisse, he’d always known he wouldn’t stay there forever. There were always new paths to travel, new challengers to meet. Priam couldn’t stay still forever knowing what a spectacular world he lived in.

Even so… some places could be honored with the term home, he supposed. There was something beyond the crispness of the air and the scent of the trees that spurred him along. He was eager to cross the threshold of Garreg Mach again and meet up with old friends. Even better- he may find a few new ones.

The knights and students at the monastery always seemed to find themselves in some kind of extraordinary, life-or-limb trouble every few months.

He grinned at the thought of it. Good.

Ragnell was comfortably slung on his back, within reach as he traveled. He could’ve sworn he felt the sword glow, just a sensation of some kind of fleeting energy against him.

“What?” he said aloud. “You think I’m cocky? After all we’ve been through together, you know I take my training seriously.” The sword was silent, as though it was just a mundane blade. Priam had always felt differently. An object carried by someone for so long never stayed a mere composition of materials. Ragnell had seen many lifetimes, and he had no doubt the sword had senses of its own. He responded again, taking the silence as permission to do so. “Few can call themselves a match for me. I guess I kinda… do rush into things though.”

Years ago, he wouldn’t have called that a weakness. It was a matter of courage and action. A man was only as good as his capacity to fulfill his own words. A hero was nothing if he couldn’t stand for his beliefs and for those who needed him, right? His pursuit of strength had to have a purpose. He’d find his exact calling someday, but he knew instinctively his role was to be a warrior, someone who paved his own way. What was the point of life if one wasn't their own protagonist? In a play, he would have no issue taking center stage.

And yet, his hand subconsciously found a place at his side where he’d suffered a mortal wound before in one of those said life-or-limb dire circumstances. It was only by some miracle that he was given a second chance at life. He saw no reason to live less fully than before, but he still should have some sense of self preservation.

There might even be some people his absence would cause grief to.

That too, hurried him along. Priam was fine with following his own way in life, but he shouldn’t be so careless about others. Fit anywhere, that was fine. But what did he leave behind after melding into a community?

“I have a survival instinct,” he insisted to the sword. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Although, as he said it, it must’ve sounded contradictory. Priam was all for fresh air and pushing his limits, but most people wouldn’t have chosen the middle of winter to go hiking. He was fine, but he did have to rub his forearms for heat. Snow crunched under his boots and he sighed, watching the mist of his breath drift from him. What a genuine marvel seeing one’s own breath was. Life itself was just that vapor- precious and unpredictable, always moving and changing.

He crested a hill and he pushed his hair off his face, adjusting the ratty old headband with it. Nestled into the mountainside was Garreg Mach, as impressive as ever. Priam had about an hour’s walk left before he was inside those halls again, having something hot to eat at the dining hall. Meat, hopefully.

He set off with a spring in his step, unsure of exactly how many days he’d even been gone. If his calculations were right…

“You think I missed the ball?”

#//the new app #drabble #ic #//hewwo!#//he remembers all of his time here but i will be starting all new threads

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musclesandhammering · 3 years

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Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

#antisylki #loki meta #kinda #loki series critical #loki series negativity #anti loki x sylvie #anti loki series #anti sylvie #frosty bby #loki deserved better #I don’t even like TVA!Loki tho so I guess it doesn’t matter with him lmao #tva loki #loki laufeyson

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moemammon · 3 years

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When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years

Note

I saw your post of the Lords reacting to there s /o getting killed by mother Miranda but wat if they puld a uno reverse and kill her 🤔

okay so slight warning on this one it’s a little graphic for violence as miranda dies and also for the sake of this HC miranda can be killed much easier bc i didn’t want to write too much for it! I’m not super happy with how it turned out since it’s kinda rushed so i apologise that it’s not my best but enjoy nonetheless. also if you want to know the context go and read the first HC for these, it’ll make more sense!

Alcina Dimitrescu

The event of your death had crushed the Lady Dimitrescu as she never quite returned to her normal self.

The quiet grieving was getting to her, eating at her heart as she missed you every single day.

She missed holding you in her arms, playing with you hair, going to dinner together and all the things that now make her feel nothing but sourness and empty on the inside.

One day she’s called to a meeting with Mother Miranda, an odd request ever since she remained in the castle walls.

However, Alcina accepts to meet Mother Miranda, having felt numb for a number of months now. The first thing she notices is that she’s alone, none of the other siblings are amongst the pews of the Church.

Something in her breaks and her long nails extend as she sees red in her vision. All the grief and pain she’s felt from losing you gets channeled as she picks up Miranda by the throat and cuts her with her razor sharp nails, watching the look of surprise on her face.

Alcina has a grin on her face as she watches Miranda’s eyes slowly get heavy, her gaze intense as she wants miranda to see all the pain she’s caused her.

When she finally lets go of Miranda she’s breathing heavily, flattening out her dress which is now stained in blood.

Killing Miranda didn’t make her pain go away though and mascara stains her pale face as she realises that you’re not coming back to her.

She crumbles to her knees and finally lets herself mourn for you outside of the Castle walls.

The pain of losing you never leaves her and no matter how many times she replays the death of Miranda in her head, no matter how many times she convinces herself that she avenged you her heart breaks further.

And so she returns to the confines of her castle where she continues to mourn for you, the one she loved dearly and will miss for eternity.

Donna Beneviento

Following Mother Miranda after witnessing your death i’d liked torture for Donna.

Each day her chest rings with an unbearable amount of pain and grief as she sits silently behind the woman that took you away.

When they’re at family meetings she’s zoned out, her head drifting back to the happy times with you and remembering how you used to hold her and take her on picnics with Angie.

Her thoughts are always broken when she realises that tears have welled in her eyes and she mustn’t cry in front of Mother Miranda.

One day she’s sitting on her balcony, holding a warm cup of tea in her hand as she watches the waterfall. It was one of your favourite things to do together, especially on early mornings like this one where the mist catches the light beautifully.

The warms of the cup and the business of the water make Donna feel like you’re still here, as if you’re keeping her hands warm instead of the porcelain cup. She finally allows her mind to rest for five minutes as she listens to the roll of water, oh how it mimicked your soothing voice.

In a cloud of black dust, Mother Miranda appears at her front gates and she instantly starts rambling about some new experiment.

Donna isn’t listening however, and she’s upset that Miranda- the woman that took away the only good thing in her gloomy world disturbed her only peaceful moment since your death.

Donna uses her Cadou to make Mother Miranda hallucinate all the pain and suffering she’s feeling, watching as Miranda clutches her head in pain, completely disoriented.

In an instant she summons Angie and through the doll she attacks Miranda in her weakened state.

It’s over in an instant, but it left her form shaking slightly as she longs for you to hold her like you used to.

On shaky legs, she slowly walks over to the little wooden bench she was sitting on and picks up the cup once more, this time Angie sitting next to her.

The cup is cold in her hands and tears roll down her face silently, still in complete shock as she feels the cold wind settle on her cheeks.

The atmosphere feels sour now and she no longer feels your presence or your warmth, the sun hidden behind clouds as the loneliness settles over her once more.

Salvatore Moreau

For his whole life, Salvatore has begged for the attentional and appraisal of Mother Miranda.

But now he doesn’t know what to think, apart of him is so betrayed and angry at her for taking you away but the other half of him, the part holding him back is so devoted to her that he’s never known life without unquestionable loyalty to Miranda.

These days he tears himself apart with it, never knowing what to do or where to think as he jumps between the two mindsets.

When you were with him, you slowly showed him a life beyond Mother Miranda, one that you could both have together if only he’d let you show him.

Now that dream is crushed, but it’s your voice that plays in his head. Your confident but soft voice guiding him to push Miranda away. And so he does.

He waits until everyone has left another one of the countless family meetings until it’s only him and Miranda.

He morphs into his monstrous state, using all the grief he feels from losing you to help him get through what is no doubt a difficult task to go through with.

It’s really the acid that he releases that causes the end of Miranda as he returns to his normal form, watching as she falls to the ground.

“I’m sorry…”

Salvatore is shocked that he even had to power to betray Miranda, knowing that apart of him was still very much devoted to her and her praise.

But nothing, no amount of false love or indoctrination could make Salvatore love anybody more than he loved you and now he’s lost both.

Still he mourns for you each day and each night, never quite knowing what to do with himself but he tries to stay strong for you and tells himself that even though you’re gone he still loves you.

Karl Heisenberg

Since the death of his beloved, Karl has worked non stop to get his army ready.

He’s neglected to take care of himself, barely sleeping or taking a break from building his army as he works tirelessly to kill the woman he’s hated his whole life.

He can’t see the point in taking care of himself, he never really did it to begin. Even more so now as he remembers how you used to take his hand and drag him away from work where you took care of him with home cooked meals and warm showers.

He knows, in some way that you’d be upset to see him like this and his own self depreciation makes him curl in on himself as he can’t do anything without you.

Finally after months of gruelling hard work, his army is finally ready all that he’s ever wanted to do and achieve is fuelled that much more since he lost you.

When Karl finally standing before Mother Miranda, hammer in hand, his body moves on autopilot. He doesn’t even register what he’s done until he pulls his hammer back and Miranda’s lifeless body falls to the floor.

As the adrenaline wears away an emptiness washes over him. That freedom that he wanted for so long always included you in it and now you’re gone.

You were both going to move away together, start a new life with each other and be free of the wrath of Miranda.

When he returns to the factory he packs up the very few belongings he owns, feeling the exhaustion kick in after days of no sleep and fighting.

He places all the photos you took together on a polaroid camera Karl restored for your birthday, wishing he could see your smile just one last time.

He throws in a few other things of yours and his clothes before he walks out of the factory gates, turning to look one last time.

He’d leave and find that new life that you both wanted, it would never feel quite the same without you in there but now there was nothing left in his factory but death and mourning.

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau #salvatore moreau x reader #resident evil village #resident evil headcanons #resident evil 8 #resident evil #asks #prompt

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danger-noodle-uwu · 3 years

Note

This is a pretty graphic idea I had but I understand if you don’t want to do it or find it too triggering.

I want to request hc’s of the Brothers + Datables (but if you do the Brothers and Datables separately than just the Brothers please) reacting to MC being summoned but MC’s covered in blood and holding a weapon like a bat or knife, because they massacred their abusive family and they don’t feel bad about it at all. Mc’s pretty emotionally hollow and they don’t show much reaction or fear to dangerous situations either since the Bros do start off threatening and rude but they relate to Mammon since he’s emotionally abused by his Bros and physically punished by Lucifer.

This is only if you feel comfy doing it and I apologize if I broke the rules and making you find it very triggering and disturbing

Trigger warning!

Mentions of blood/murder/abuse

Do not proceed if sensitive

Lucifer

At the summoning part, Lucifer would be merely worried about what type of student has diavolo choosen, pitying his taste. Though he was but a demon, weary and skittish around you.

The Avatar of pride scared of mere human?

(Though he kinda was)

Blood being spilled on the floor was common in devildom yet he was unfazed.

But now, things are different and he can't help to worry about how this weak creature will influence on his brothers.

the fallen-morningstar tried to keep you away from the entire of his brothers including himself.

He also made sure that never was anything that could be used as a potential weapon surround you.

Often the man would receive rather harsh words from you and get somewhat hurt. Yet , not a single cry reach your ears.

(Que enemies to lovers dynamic)

When the pair started dating, the raven-haired demon had already known the past and what it once held for mc...

Oh how much he wishes, he helped you instead of interrogating every movement, to regain the 'you' that your parents killed. So, he will find a solution. To find those rascals in the realm of spirits or demons and put them once again at your mercy.

Prepare yourself Mc. For a whole month of pampering and love as he will never dare repeat the mistake he made.

Mammon

As the story is, Mammon didn't encounter you first but only heard melody of your voice.

The first meet was unforgettable, he was petrified to see the blood dripping off your slender bruised figure.

One thought that he was scared however, No he was anything but scared. He had thought you were the one hurt like--you know h-how Lucifer hurts him.

He rushed towards you but was stopped by the eldest saying " They aren't hurt." And this was the first person tried who befriend you.

When your words were sweetly aimed at him and just HIM. He'd feel his heart beat racing like crazy which made him believe he thought you found him special.

He was never honest with anyone, until you showed up. His biggest fear was snapping because of the mean comments his brothers pass and you had probably done something similar.

He wanted to know. Though dense he may seem, he hoped you'd tell him.

Was it scary? Do you feared this before? Is it still scary? Do you feel emotions after this?

Yet he never asked...

When the greedy Boi and mc started dating, they told everything about their condition. Of how they snapped.

He was the most understanding of his brothers and promised to never let another one harm you. Not even you.

He loved even more since that day. Not to mention 1323433454455686 'I love you's per day.

Leviathan

Blabbering lord knows what, Leviathan had stepped out of his room even if that was to scold mammon and get his money back.

He obviously knew about the exchange program but what he didn't know was that bloody murderer would be part of it!!!

He wasn't moving when he saw the numb expression you wore and the bloody knife you had held.

Inside, he was scared shitless but he didn't know how to show it.

A mere-human had terrified The great admiral of hell's navy. What shame he was.

"Oi cut it out!" Yelled the scummy yet kind demon protectively moving between the two.

In the beginning, he felt unsafe only by your gaze and refusing to make eye contact.

And then, a good day to exit to his room. The true reason being the pearly raindrops that had littered the gardens of HOL.

He saw you... soaking wet smiling and hurting... shining brightly though it felt dim.

That day. That dammed day. He found out who truly were. A beautiful person who was just hurting and breaking.

Since then, he has been a mix of a nagging mother but also shy as if a touch-me-not.

Dating him was heavenly, he wasn't shy with touch yet words were a whole another thing to him.

He always left 'Love you's in the chats and reminders on your phone that were just a bunch of 'eat healthy' 'stay safe', etc.

And this was certain that his love will never end.

Satan

Snatching the bat from your hands, the blonde-man threatened to kill you with your own weapon if you dared to move.

And that's exactly what you wanted... to die... to end the suffering...

And he saw it.

Saw how horribly you were hurting, he knew what it felt however, he couldn't lose his composure not in front of his brothers.

Wrath is a storm which is followed by pain. He knew this. Same in your case except pain knocked the doors first.

He knew it was too early for asking. So, he kept his mouth shut. Not wishing to hurt you any further though he didn't know why he felt this way.

When you finally finished your 2nd month in your new home, things had changed as the Avatar of wrath often talked to you not about how bloody you arrived or you had killed but are you okay now?

His words were soft. So sweet.

Each time he would offer you his shoulder to cry on, you would feel your heart slowly warm up. Slightly more each-time.

Soon enough you started dating the green-eyed pact demon of yours, recalling the long lost feeling of warmth and love.

The knowledgeable one loved to show physical affection especially in front of his brothers.

Oh~ the smell of their burning envy, when he kissed the nape of your neck and complimented you.

Post-its were his favorite though.

He would often write 'Love you, kitten' 'take break,love' 'you look amazing today',etc.

Asmodues

He yelped when he saw a bloodied figure emerge from the purple haze. Are they okay?

He was concerned only till a knife was spotted next your seemingly heartless figure. Now, he was somewhat hiding behind satan in disgusted yet anxious way.

You gaze deeply disturbed him to an extent he even had nightmares of you ripping him open with same knife and had that soul-less expression.

He much like Leviathan refused to see you after the encounter but what was different, was the course of events...

He saw you arguing with Lucifer, for you refused let him hurt Mammon who curled behind you.

Asmo felt pity for you as he knew the outcome of an argument with the eldest.

"Lucifer don't hurt him, please. He already has enough bruises" Asmo says giving his sweet brother Luci the puppy eyes, hoping they would work. (Yeah they didn't)

But nonetheless Luci~ still backed out and left the hallway.

You rush for the poor injured demon, he is crying while thanking you for the save.

And there for one moment, The lustful blond saw emotion in those glassy eyes of yours. It was beautiful and aching at the same time.

Making him greedy for more...

Later the very same day, he approached you finally asking the questions his head was haunted by.

What was weird? He didn't blame you for breaking instead he complimented you for being a survivor of such harsh tortures.

Accepting his confession was the best thing you ever did.

He is open with affection especially when you both are in public to show he is yours. You are his. You belong together.

for his hunger to see those pretty eyes shine with joy is endless, he makes Mc smile with happiness and love

Beelzebub

Famished as always was the sixth born. Especially after smelling human blood.

Little did he know the blood of the now dead parents of mc, the exchange student.

He wasn't even fazed unlike his brothers. He couldn't care any less than he did nor about the blood neither about the weapon clutched in your hands.

Even if you passed insults, he wouldn't mind. Sometimes, he asks why you dislike him? And is fine even if the answer is illogical. (Don't fuckin hate him)

Numb eyes. Tears flowing freely. Cuts. Bruises. Hurting. Dying inside.

The glutton wipes the sweat off his forehead remembering the condition of yours in that horrendous nightmare.

You looked awfully similar to belphi when- when s-she died. He blamed himself and hurt himself for being so useless. Just like you do.

And then realization hits--

YOU ARE HURTING!!

He now knew why your rude words didn't hurt him because you were like belphegor trying to protect your fragile heart.

Why you look numb? because you're trying to hide the pain. Push people away so you don't get hurt when they go away.

The following day, you were gently woken by the huge teddy bear. He held a hand out for you before taking you to his room for the special breakfast.

You teared upon the sight instantly realizing that he recognized your suffering. He apologized for not noticing earlier and from now, he will be there for you.

Never in the three realms did he think he'd fall for you? Maybe he had all along just didn't notice....

Once you begin dating the orange-head, he was ecstasic and cheerful all the time. Encouraging words followed you everywhere.

He would often eat the entire fridge out. So as apology, a cupcake with sorry written on it was placed on the kitchen counter. Other days, when he won't go such extreme, carrot chips or a poison apple etc. Waited for you.

Beely is the opposite of possessive. Protective. He is Protective and supports you through the ups and downs in life. He was your true savior. A savior who never judged you for your past.

His Love is the sky, you learned to fly in.

Belphegor

He had heard the tale of how the human exchange student had shown up covered in blood with a bat in hand.

Never did he believe that it was true until seeing the monotone figure of them.

The way they spoke made them like Lucifer. Emotionless. Heartless. Ruthless. Monster.

He wanted to strangle them on spot but he was stuck within the confines of the attic.

The sloth couldn't help passing comment making mc slowly reveal the aching heart of their own-self.

Expression faultered and he saw it--No, no more like felt it. The way their tears were swallowed. The way their voice turned monotone once again to cover what had already been seen.

However, the seventh born didn't say a word, he just showed affection through body language as they couldn't touch each other yet.

After he was free from the prison of an attic, he ran to you. His star. The one that guided him out to freedom.

It felt weird dating the lazy demon. Afterall, he was doing nothing other than shoving compliments in your face and dozing off here and there.

Few months pass and things become smoother than how they were.

Now, he always compliments you but softly and sweetly. Always willing to listen to whatever you wanna rant about.

"You are my true love, Mc. The star that guides to where I belong when I'm lost."

-------------------------------------------------------

Welp! That was long as hell. Anyway, thank you for the request. It kinda feels like you and my sister share the same brain cell cuz she said the same thing but like- mc ate their organs and more messy. God I hope you like it...

Good day!

#shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me smut #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me angst #obey me headcannons #obey me scenarios #obey me x mc #obey me dateables #obey me #obey me shall we date

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