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cto10121 · 7 months

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Watching Breaking Dawn Part 2, the mixed bag of all mixed bags. Slow as molasses and boring as hell, but most of the cringey lines have all but vanished and there is (some) competency in (some) of the filmmaking. Let me count the ways…

Bella spoke literally 1 word after her transformation. In the books, she said “I love you.” In the movie, “Renesmee.” Fine, except she doesn’t say “I love you” to Edward…le sigh.

Man, BD is really where they decided to say “fuck it” and ditch the unnatural pallor of the vampires, because Vampire Bella does not look at all different from Human Bella (okay, granted, her wardrobe is subtly different, but not by much). It’s a tribute to Stewart’s acting that you can even register a massive change

The Loch Ness Monster scene began okay/funny and then it was ruined re: 1) Bella punching Jacob (just no) 2) actually showing Bella hitting poor Seth and 3) actually keeping the somber tone. Lighten up, movie! What’s with this movie series and making the fun parts of the book so damn dull?

Not Jacob phasing just a few feet from Charlie and the movie making it so dramatic with a growly wolf when phasing is almost instantaneous and Jacob is in complete control of his wolf form 😑

The little girl actress for Renesmee is adorable. Such a relief after the horrors of the CGI baby.

Garrett’s “British invasion” introduction is hilarious, 💯 Good job, movie

Vladimir and Stefan are Vampire Diaries-rejects horrors, though. 🤮 They are literally thousands of years old and yet look like they just came from Hot Topic. Ew, ew, ew

Bella’s shield special effect…yuck, yuck, yuck. Why couldn’t they do it like Harry Potter did the wards? That wasn’t too bad. So damn corny

Wow, they robbed poor J. Jenks of any and all personality, didn’t they? His parts were actually one of the best of the books for me. They felt mature, like actual adult instead of YA. Instead, it’s all blah. Also, no oyster satin cocktail dress!! The one time Bella chooses to dress up and chose her own dressy clothing, showing her maturity and arc!!!! Meanwhile they just garb Stewart in a really modern dress that barely looks different than her usual outfits!!! Damn it, movie!!!!

Edward: “To think, all of these people are risking their lives because I fell in love with a human.” What. The. Fuck Movie????? In what universe would Edward even think this???? The Screenwriter Cannot Write Edward Cullen For Shit Number 383782838

Edward: “I never thanked you, Carlisle. For this extraordinary life.” Okay, so the script has (1) braincell regarding his arc, no doubt because Meyer was there as producer. Too bad it does a piss-poor job of showing it

“The redcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming.” Garrett, as always, is the best.

Aro: “Ahh…Young Bella.” 🇮🇹 Also, why does he sound like he wants to fuck Bella? Why that particular relish in his line reading?

No one: Not a soul: Look how nothing this nothing is: Aro: *weird ass high-pitched ahahhehhaggahahah sound* And of course it’d be in response to *just* noticing Renesmee’s heartbeat when every vampire can and should hear it immediately. 🤦‍♀️

I like how Patt!Edward has to stumble a bit and then fall whenever Jane is torturing him. And by like I mean hate with all the fervor of my being. By that token, I also “like” Jane literally saying “Pain”

They introduce Alice returning so casually…where is the tension, Alice’s O.S. voice, everyone turning, all the “Alices”? Nope, just a brief distance shot. There she is! Smh

I hate the fake-out fight scene of Alice’s vision

I hate the fake-out fight scene—

Okay, so regardless of what you feel about the lack of battle scenes in Breaking Dawn…it did make sense. There was no way for any semblance of a happy ending to occur had the Volturi decided to come to blows. Full-on mask off isn’t their MO anyway. The way the trial scene (yes, it is basically a trial à la Merchant of Venice) was set up, with witnesses and objections and the like, made sense and the tension was riveting. Also, in bringing Nahuel Alice foiled any rationale for the Volturi’s planned takeover, so there was absolutely no need for the canon-breaking vision

Second of all, a fake-out scene is much more disappointing and/or infuriating than the book’s scene. All of that tragedy and death and it just turns out to be fake? Fuck that. But ofc movie has to movie for the dudebros in the audience (!!) despite the fact that this series has and always was a romance first

Third of all, the way it was all executed…Bella not being an immediate target even though the Volturi must at least suspect her shield is so damn convenient. Babe, she would have been one of the firsts to go. Other bad shit: Edward leaping out of the crater, his skirmish with Aro…bleugh

Okay, there are some good parts: The Bella-Jane stand-off, Seth’s death, Leah saving Esme (good callback), Marcus’s “Finally” (in-character). But it’s just not worth it

The way they garbed Nahuel…it may be well-researched for all I know, but knowing Hollywood, I highly doubt it. As it is, it looks grossly stereotypical to me

Oh, God, the script for Nahuel’s part is so little emotive, it’s like a summary. Nothing compared to the book. He had such personality and the way he spoke of his father…you could just taste the drama

“We will not fight…today.” Movie-verse only, but I do have to wonder if Meyer will ever bring the Volturi back and have them kill off some characters. Not really the type of author to do this, though

And of course they have to have a moment between Bella and Wolf!Jacob for no good reason, even though Jacob should be all about the Renesmee now. Nope, the movies are still on their Bella/Jacob bullshit

“So should I call you Dad now?” Yes, feed the antis, movie.

Speaking of feeding the antis, Alice’s vision of Jacob/Renesmee!!! I know the movie threw out the whole Alice-cannot-see-werewolves-or-hybrids out the window just from the fake-fight alone, but ugh. Ugh. Meanwhile Book!Jacob literally did not give a fuck either way about Renesmee coming of age in 7 years

The actress for Adult Renesmee looks really nice, though. I’ll give it that

That Bella-shows-Edward her thoughts montage was nicely edited, with good transitions. But unfortunately it reminds me of all the bad directorial choices of the prior movies and so alas it’s just cringe to me

Book!Edward after Bella shows him his thoughts: hfgkzoycychohh!!!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Movie!Edward: How did you do that? 😑 Fuck you too, movie

I probably should feel something about the credits montage…but I don’t. They include everyone, even minor characters!!!! Please…just don’t

#cristina watches #breaking dawn #twilight #twilight saga #the movies brings all the antis to the yard #like ants to a discarded milkshake #there are critics of the books ofc #but the worst offenses are the movies

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wolf-and-bard · 3 years

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The Geraskier dark academia AU of my dreams (because writing these up keeps me sane; TLDR at the bottom because this escalated):

-Jaskier is so ready for college. Like, the readiest he's ever been for anything in his life. He couldn't wait to get out of his stuffy family home, away from his narrow-minded hometown, he is ready. He signs up for a Liberal Arts major, moves into a dorm, drinks his brains away during the first week. He makes an archnemesis, he makes friends, he live-documents the whole affair on Snapchat for his friend Triss who lives across the country, but is always with him in spirit. Life is good.

-Jaskier doesn't think twice when his roommate Zoltan invites him to come along to a party at the Kaer Morhen fraternity house because hello? Orientation week was last month, high time he goes to an actual frat party full of guys like wardrobes that eminate sexual self-assuredness and hopefully some sexual flexibility as well. He puts on his most revealing shirt and too tight jeans and joins Zoltan. The fraternity house is old, red-brick with sandstone pillars and iron-wrought gates which would seem rusty if not for the ivy that curls around them. It's chock-full with people of every kind of major and age, most of them drunk beyond reason by the time Jaskier and Zoltan arrive. Zoltan disappears in a tangle of rugby-players and leaves Jaskier to his own devices. He befriends a group of Archeology majors, their leader being a cute blond called Filavandrel, and they share a bottle of red wine, round and round. He meets his archnemesis, the one he spent all orientation week bickering about music with, Valdo or some nonsense, and they do tequila shots. It’s a nice party and Jaskier has the time of his life until he returns from the bathroom to find a god of a guy standing in the hallway.

-"Oh hello," Jaskier mutters under his breath. Before, his evening was aimless, he let the wave of the vibe take him wherever, let the alcohol blur the world around him. But now, he has an objective. And that objective stands all by his lonesome, scowling down the hallway. Man, does he brood well. Jaskier usually goes for people that are easy to read if some casual fun is what he has in mind -and it's not out of his mind just yet - but this guy intrigues him; there is more to him than simple dudebro-ness. He has shock-grey hair and startling amber eyes and seems to cast the longest shadow. Jaskier wants to ride him. Jaskier also wants to serenade him on a starlit wooden bridge and collect all the guy's deepest secrets and desires to keep under his pillow and draw divine inspiration from. Okay, that may be the Tequila shots talking. He scurries over to the bar, downs another two, then approaches the guy.

-"Hi," Jaskier says as he sidles up to him. The guy half-heartedly raises his beer in greeting. Taciturn, dark, dramatic. Jaskier decides to go for it. "I absolutely adore the way you just stand here and brood." (Jaskier will only learn much much later that he accidentally used some weird Kaer Morhen frat code and set off a chain of events that changed his life forever). "Lamb," the guy calls out instead of answering, something that makes Jaskier think he's so far gone that he's actively hallucinating. But no, seconds later a guy with equally lush red hair and equally thick arms appears from the crowd. He wears a scowl which has Jaskier's throat tighten. "What is it, Wolf?" Wolf, huh? "Go collect Goat and Kitty-Cat. I found him." And Wolf-Guy grabs Jaskier by the back of the neck and hauls him through a door, down some stairs - is that marble? are those torches? GARGOYLES? - and into pitch blackness. Jaskier squeals. This is what he imagined when he dreamt of college. Well not exactly this, but close enough.

-They bind him with silk scarfs and put a blindfold over his eyes which, okay. Jaskier knows he shouldn't find this as sexy as he does, but he can't help it. He has no sense of self-preservation and this will just be the best of fuel for the first assignment in his screenwriting class. "Oh, this is fun," he murmurs when someone tugs off his boots and someone else smears a fatty paste onto his lips. It smells like... okay it smells lot like his uncle Matthew's pigsty. Weirdly disgusting. "Who are you guys anyway?"

-They don't speak at all that night, don't take off the blind-fold until way later. All night, Jaskier can hear them rustling around him, chanting in some language he doesn't understand. They give him several drinks, most of which honestly taste like asphalt, but make his insides go fuzzy. When the blindfold comes off eventually, Jaskier finds himself on the front-seat of a pick up truck, Wolf guy behind the wheel. They are parked behind the frat house. "Look, I don't think you're a suitable candidate. The guys all said they want to keep you, but my friend recognized you from the freshman introduction party and we usually only inaugurate sophomores." Jaskier blinks. He has absolutely no idea what's going in anymore. His friend Triss is probably worried sick because he hasn't checked in all evening. The faint taste of burned rubber clings to his lips and all Jaskier can think is: Fuck, is this man hot. "Go out with me," he blurts. "Go out with me, I'll show you how suitable I am."

-Over the course of a month's worth of introductions, preparation and inauguration traditions (which, among other things, have him dropped butt-naked in the middle of the forest, requiring him to find his way back to campus; have him spend more time learning long-dead languages than he is comfortbale with; have him getting thoroughly intimate with Eskel's (Goat) helper syndrome, Lambert (Lamb) and Aiden's (Kitty-Cat) ostentatiously loud fucking, Coen's (Hawk) frequent absences and Geralt's (Wolf) quiet, but passionate idealism) Jaskier learns the truth at the core of Kaer Morhen. It is more than a fraternity, it is a brotherhood of students that spend their free time in rituals to protect the college, its city, likely even the whole state from supernatural creatures that threaten to cross over into the world. The existence of these is no surprise to Jaskier who's come out of an adolescence of escapism and coping through fiction and song, but the fact that there are handsome tough guys who work to banish him is too much of a dream to be true. It is true. Unofficially, the call themselves Witchers. They catch wraiths in cricles of runes, they re-direct necrophages into Kaer Morhen's basement and slay them with blades of silver. They brew potions and cast minor spells to get rid of mutated insectoids. And Jaskier is to be one of them. They call him Lark.

-His first ritual goes bat-shit wrong. Jaskier is reasonably sure he did everything right, but the wraith doesn't stay contained after they bound it . "Fuck," Geralt growns after, pressing a cloth to the gaping wound in Jaskier's shoulder while they wait for Eskel to whip out the first aid kit. Jaskier shudders, can taste blood. "There shouldn't be fireflies here, right?" - "Ah, nope," Lambert says. He keeps snapping his fingers before Jaskier's eyes. "Hey, Lark, stay with us, okay?" - "He's fine," Aiden says, inspecting his nails. "If anything, it's Geralt we should be worried about. He's about to have a full blown panic attack." Geralt grunts and holds Jaskier closer.

-"Does this mean I can ask Priscilla to let me copy her homework," Jaskier asks later. He's in bed, bundled up in one of Kaer Morhen's bedrooms. Portraits of alumni line the wall and a hearth crackles away. Geralt sits next to the bed, a pretense-book on his lap. His eyes bore into Jaskier, wide, haunted. "Jask," he breathes out shakily. - "Hello, big guy. How are we doing?" - "Better now that you're awake. We... we had to call in Vesemir. He will want to talk to you." - "Alright, okay," Jaskier says. He knows who Vesemir is of course, but he has no idea what exactly his job entails or what having to talk to him means. "Geralt?" - "Hmm?" - "What did I do wrong?" - "Nothing. You were uncharacteristically precise... but it turns out I was right all along. You're not suited for this kind of work." - "Because I'm not big and buff like all of you?" Jaskier asks, pouting. Geralt has the audacity to laugh. But he also takes Jaskier's hands and kisses his knuckles and huh? What? Jaskier's brain short-circuits. Fuck when did he fall so hard for Geralt? "No, Jask, you're perfect. I mean, uh, ah, perfectly annoying." That bastard. "The wraith went crazy because it turns out you're an amplifier. That means supernatural creatures are pulled to you and can draw from you to manifest easier in our world. You wouldn't have noticed this unless you ever passed by a spot where the spheres overlap significantly. As it is, your participation in the ritual poses a danger." - "TLDR: I'm fired?" - "That's for Vesemir to decide... truth be told, I don't want you to go. But I can't stand the thought of you being in danger. Because of me, this." - "Go out with me, Geralt. Please. One coffee," Jaskier practically begs. Yes, his shoulder is minced meat and he feels exhausted from the blood loss but Geralt has never been this open and honest with him. "...fine."

-Jaskier heals up under the diligent care of his friends. Priscilla is allowed over too, practically drags him though his classes with tutoring and copies of her homework and sugar-coated emails to his various professors. Triss video-calls him three times a day. Eskel's med school expertise leaves Jaskier with the most neat scar he is ever going to get out of this, Lambert and Aiden hang out to play Gwent with him, a strange card game they invented and custom-painted, Coën even pops in to bring Jaskier his guitar and a venti Matcha Tea Latte even though the nearest Starbucks is miles away. Geralt... Geralt is there almost all the way. He sleeps in the chair at first, then - on Jaskier's stern insistence - in the bed with him, though careful to keep his distance. He helps Jaskier into the shower, something so strangely intimate without feeling innately sexual, he takes him out on slow walks. Geralt doesn't talk much, but Jaskier knows he feels responsible. It's fine. Sure. Absolutely fine. Jaskier is so far gone for this man by the time he moves back into his own dorm that he considers getting injured again just to have Geralt by his side. They never do go out for coffee.

-Vesemir doesn't so much invite Jaskier as have him called out of his choir session by a girl about Jaskier's age. She has the same hair color as Geralt and Jaskier thinks he's seen her around Kaer Morhen's bigger parties. "Hello, Jaskier," she says sweetly, but one look at her tells Jaskier she's deadlier than any of the frat boys. If his drunk memory serves correctly she also does a phenomenal keg stand. "Ves sends me to collect you." Which has Jaskier even more impressed with her. None of the boys dare to call him anything but Vesemir or Sir, even when he's not around. - "I've been expecting this," Jaskier says, shouldering his bag. The girl laughs and grabs his arm to guide him out of the building and across campus. - "You are cute," she says. "Geralt said so, but I thought that was just because he's so infatuated with you. I'm Ciri, by the way, his younger sister." Infatuated, huh? Jaskier has just enough brainspace left to save her name. Ciri. They will have to become very good friends. Infatuated.

-It turns out, Vesemir isn't half as scary as the boys made him out to be. He's closer to sixty than fifty, has a stern face, but a kindly voice and the first thing he does after dismissing Ciri with a meaningful glance is offer Jaskier a glass of whiskey. Jaskier sneaks a photograph of the bottle's label when Vesemir stands at the window and glances down at the campus, hands clasped behind his back. Triss will never believe this. It's the sort of alcohol that exists only in myth, at least to college students. "So, Mr. Pankratz. I'm afraid apologies are in order." - "Please, I prefer Jaskier." - "I know," Vesemir says and turns. "I would kindly ask you to delete that picture, my office and its contents fall under the terms of the non-disclosure agreement you signed when entering our brotherhood." Jaskier gulps heavily, the whiskey suddenly sour on his tongue. But he's quick to paste over a smile. He's gotten this far with the mysterious Kaer Morhen fraternity, he can pull all the way through. He deletes the picture. "Good," Vesemir says. "Now down to business." Vesemir gives him two options. Jaskier can consult a local magical artisan and have his memories of Kaer Morhen's true purpose removed. It is an easy procedure, won't cost him anything. Except for his new-found friends and the love he feels for Geralt. Except for the only place he's ever truly felt at home. Jaskier chooses the latter option which is to become the fraternity's chronicler.

-After that, things are supposed to calm down and they do, for a bit. Geralt still dodges any and all attempts Jaskier makes at flirting even though it's evident his resolve is thinning out. Jaskier observes and documents the rituals, begins to collect old notebooks. He's planning to go above and beyond his job and compile a comprehensive history of Kaer Morhen and its members before he's graduated. He may not be able to partake in the rituals or help the guys protect this city from monsters, but he can play his part. Leave behind a legacy.

-Between that and his normal studies, hanging out with his theater group, meeting Triss on alternate weekends and throwing epic frat parties, all of Jaskier's time is consumed. There are several instances in which Geralt and him almost manage to have their coffee, but then they have Eskel on the phone because Lambert and Aiden managed to give themselves poisoning over a simple Endrega job, or Priscilla needs an emergency stand-in for her weekly performances at a local bar, or Jaskier is simply too tired and falls into bed, sleeping over Zoltan's aggressive snoring. Jaskier doesn't mind so much. They catch glimpses of intimacy, Geralt's hand on the small of his back as he guides him downstairs for another ritual, a good night kiss on the cheeks once it's done, a spot of quiet homework-doing in Kaer Morhen's common room together, their legs pressed close under the table. One of these days, Jaskier will find the courage to close the last bridge between them. He just wants to wait until Geralt seems absolutely comfortable with it.

-All is as well as can be until Vesemir comes up with an idea. Because more and more creatures have been getting through and they are unable to hold off all, he wants to capture one of them, an Archgriffin, to bind in their world and act as guardian against lesser creatures. "You're mad," Aiden says. "That's fucking brilliant." - "It's a good idea," Eskel and Coën agree. Lambert keeps exchanging grim glances with Geralt because they both know what this means. They will have to use Jaskier to lure the beast. Which is why they both protest the idea heavily and Geralt gets into a fight with Vesemir. Jaskier is not there for it, but Aiden and Lambert tell him later, once he's back from theatre rehearsal. He watches them fight over it too and then it's only him and Lambert. Jaskier steals one of Zoltan's bottles of spirits and they get stupidly drunk, wandering around campus all night until Eskel collects them and tucks them into bed at Kaer Morhen. "I will not stand to lose you," Lambert slurs, arm dragged over Jaskier's chest. "You're like, almost my best friend. Plus, Wolf would be devastated." - "Aiden seems to think it'll be fine," Jaskier says, snuggling up to Lambert. - "Yeah, fuck him." They fall asleep like that and the first thing Geralt does when he finds them is kick Lambert all the way down the stairs.

-In the end, Geralt and Lambert are outvoted, not that they can stop Vesemir. Geralt is more silent than usual throughout prep and Jaskier can't seem to cheer him up. He knows his life is likely on the line, but he wants to help so badly. These guys are his family after all. If he can make their lives a little easier by doing this... well, he wants to. He needs to. Being in Kaer Morhen is the first time he seems to have a purpose other than writing angsty teenage songs. Eskel keeps checking up on him. Vesemir writes preliminary excuses for all Jaskier's exams which leave him with only A's, something Priscilla does not appreciate in the slightest. Lambert and Aiden fight and fight and won't stop fighting over this whole affair until Jaskier sits them down and makes them talk. Geralt... remains quiet. Jaskier can tell he doesn't sleep. Can tell he rarely eats. He decides now is as good a time as ever.

-It's the night before and the others have all returned to their dorms, but Jaskier stayed in Kaer Morhen under the pretext of Zoltan having his girlfriend over, and Geralt rarely ever goes home. He has a flat off campus, but Jaskier suspects it's drab and lonely. He gets it. Kaer Morhen has soft fluffly beds and fire places and wards and books. Currently, it has the two of them, bundled up in one of the upstairs rooms. They share an armchair before a low fire, not an unusual sight for them, not anymore. And still, Geralt pretends they're just friends. It's ridiculous. "You know I'll be fine, right?" Jaskier says. He has his head tucked under Geralt's chin and has been humming show tunes under his breath for the last half hour, something that usually puts Geralt right to sleep. Not so now. "I can't know that," Geralt replies. He lifts Jaskier's hand which he's been holding and traces the veins on the back of it with his thumb. "You've no idea how dangerous the ritual is. Even more so with you being an amplifier." - "So protect me." - "I will. I promise, I will." - "Geralt, when are you going to finally give in?" Jaskier sighs and pulls back a little. Geralt stares at him, a little cross-eyed and Jaskier gives a shaky laugh. "I'm going to kiss you now. Pull back if you don't want to, but allow it and I'll never let you go." Geralt allows it, kisses back. It's the first night they indulge in a love that has been growing for almost a year and it's gloriously sweet, blazing, beautiful. It leaves Jaskier with faith that, even if things go sideways, Geralt will get them both out of it alive.

-The ritual goes well thanks to the Witchers' meticulous preparations, the dozen or so warding spells they put on Jaskier and Geralt's reflexes that save him from a swipe of the Griffin's claw. They bind the creature to one of the basement holding cells and celebrate with excessive amoutns of vodka and cake. "All is well that ends well, huh?" Jaskier asks from where he sits on Geralt's lap. Strong arms hold him and his chest is full of nightingales that flutter and sing. He watches Eskel drunkenly dance-offing with Coen in a corner, watches Lambert and Aiden make out in another. Vesemir took off, but Ciri is there, lounging next to them on the couch, nose buried in her phone. "I will never put you through such danger again," Geralt grunts, his nose buried in Jaskier's hair. "Of course, love." Jaskier relaxes into the embrace. All is well, though it is not nearly the end of this story.

-TLDR: Kaer Morhen is an occultist fraternity that keeps supernatural beings away from campus. Jaskier, unable to participate in the actual rituals due to a genetic predisposition, becomes their chronicler. Geralt worries a lot. Jaskier tries for the longest time to get him to go on a coffee date or something. Lambert and Aiden are a disaster couple. Eskel keeps them all together, literally and figuratively. Ciri is the one who got all the brain cells.

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thecandlesticksfromlesmis · 3 years

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My sister's college's theater group decided to FILM their musical one person at a time and edit it together(!!) and I'm in engineering grad school, and am aware that art school is a v v different experience but this made me think: how are you guys doing this? Are you ok? How do you learn to direct if there can't be two people on screen together? Is it like the Tom Holland thing where he didnt know who was in scenes with him? Are the editing students happy about this? If you dont want to answer I totally get it but I'm asking because engineering not in person kills me so I just. Can't fathom what you're doing. I wish you the best 💙

HEY omg yeah it’s a mess. It’s been a mess since this all started and I think it will continue to be a mess for the rest of this year.

Rest of post under the cut cause I’m just ranting.

So when everything first hit, all filmmaking was stopped completely, which for me as a screenwriter was fine because I am not required to be on set unless I wrote the script (or have been bamboozled into script supervising ugh) anyway. But I know it hurt literally every other discipline, especially cinematographers because they need to touch cameras in order to learn and the school provides all their tech.

Towards the end of last year, the school started back up with productions, making it mandatory for all the films to be shot on our big sound stages (usually we have free rein of all of LA and a little outside it in shoot in) and to include a COVID safety supervisor. Our sound stages were upgraded with new air ventilation systems and the school also rented out other stages to accommodate the huge number of shorts that needed to be shot.

In order to be on set you had to have proof of a negative COVID test and have isolated in your home for two weeks before shooting. On set was a big production of face shields and masks and sanitizer and staying six feet away from each other---except for the actors. The actors could be in scenes together, provided they did all the steps above and agreed to be close to someone in a scene.

No one is happy lmao. It’s pushed back thesis schedule SO MUCH, that lots of people in my class will still be having to shoot and finish thesis after we technically graduate this year. Technically, I’m still responsible for writing a script for a project that was cancelled and removed from the “you need to do this to graduate” list. It’s been rescheduled to shoot in August when I will be rigorously prepping for the huge event where I pitch all my project to industry execs. I don’t wanna do it, but my whole team still wants to so ya know 🤷🏼‍♂️

I have no clue how the fuck the production designers are functioning. I hope they’re still able to go to the school to access the building stations and literally all their materials. Editors have to go into the school to do their work because AVID costs so much money and no one is gonna buy it personally and that’s what they edit on! Directors are being dramatic as usual (lol I love some of them but goooood the shit they’ve put writers through y’all).

Basically, it’s all around absolutely NOT what we signed up for to earn our masters. This school’s big selling point is hands on, collaborative work, and it’s really tough to do that now. Writers have less to deal with, but what I wouldn’t give to be sitting in workshop, giving notes to people in conversation form, rather than trying to have a natural dialogue over zoom. It sucks! And I miss my friends.

There was this beautiful room on campus, that was a “no talking zone” in the library, that I used to work in every day. It was a room full of screenplays--like stacked shelves top to bottom of bound screenplays, some original behind glass doors, some signed by writers. It was really good place for me to focus on what I came here to do. I really really miss it. It made me feel a part of something! I have barely left my house for a year and now all the words I’ve written are trapping in our one bedroom apartment and it’s so stifling. The stories are blending together and GOD I can’t wait to get a break.

I’m burnt out and tired of the one thing I know how to do.

But I’m going to end this on a bright note! Mike and I are getting our second shot soon, we’re working on a film project right now, I’m finishing drafts of stories I’ve been working on for so long. If everything was the way it was before all this, the things I’m accomplishing would feel so small and not impressive. But now I’m realizing just how hard they really are to finish, and I should be less hard on myself in the future!

Anyway, thanks for asking! Hope engineering grad school is going well. I’m sure it’s hard with all this going on too! Wishing you the best 💚

#COVID #grad school #film school #writing #ask #2minutes4yeehawing

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secretshinigami · 3 years

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routine and soft eyes

Author: @hazblogs For: @beyondplusultra Pairings/Characters: nearmellomatt, mention of lawlight Rating/Warnings: T, mentions of Mello’s scar Prompt: Wammy House kids sleepover (A, B, L can be included, can be AU) Author’s notes: I had so much fun with this !!! soft bois…. thank you to anyone who reads it !!

Mello is positively fuming. Someone (who shall not be named, though if you want to know it starts with “N” and ends with “-ate River”) just got on top of Forensic Science and Investigative Skills and History of Crime and the Justice System. Those are Mello’s topics. They’re the best at these and they always have been (in the two years they’ve studied here. But that’s long enough, right ?), so the fact that Mister Nobody just came in and stole their turf… That’s infuriating. To top it all off, the dean did them dirty and assigned someone to the second bed in their room, knowing full well that they need that second bed for Matt. This week is just a pile of flaming shit.

As they swing the door open they are greeted by the beeping sounds usually coming from Matt’s bed, a comforting electronic melody. Matt doesn’t even turn around to raise his middle finger to protest against how loud Mello is, but that’s also common practice around here, so no worries.

“Heard you got your ass beat,” Matt says a while later, Mello’s hand carding through his strawberry-green hair. “By the newbie no less. How’re you taking it ?”

“Matt, my hand is dangerously close to your eyes and you need those to play on that stupid console. Better not risk it.”

“Like you’d ever hurt me,” Matt grumbles, and the certainty with which he speaks makes their heart pulse just a little faster. Mello is hopelessly in love, aren’t they ?

The rest of the evening is quiet save for that same musical background, a welcome white noise as Mello finishes their essay for Writing Comedy. The teacher seems to have some trouble with their rather macabre humour so they try to tone it down for once - rather unsuccessfully.

“Also heard you’ll have a roommate,” Matt continues a few hours later as they prepare for bed - gotta put some moisturiser on that scar like a damsel doing her skincare routine, the doctor said, “or you’ll experience how actually painful it can be”. Talk about being threatening…

“I heard. I can kick them out.” Mello would do it. Without remorse, even.

“I can sleep in your bed too,” Matt offers. “But only if you promise not to kick me out from under the covers every single night.”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off, and secondly, why the hell would I want someone else to room with me ? You’re already here. You’ve always been here.”

“And I always will be, Mels. Just… I think it’s time you get out of your shell a little bit, you know ? You can’t keep pretending that talking to me twice every day and ignoring Linda a couple times a week is enough friendly interaction for the little pea inside your coconut.” Mello turns away from the mirror, moisturiser in hand, and sends a glare to Matt who sighs and raises his hands in defeat. “Don’t say I didn’t try ! Think about it, okay, Mello ?”

They do think about it. The whole night. They don’t sleep - it’s not because Matt snores but that’s the excuse they’ll use. Ever since the accident and the scar, people have usually been too impressed - or scared - by them to even consider starting a casual conversation. Matt was there even before, and he probably always will be, Linda is a weirdo who wants to draw them with a ponytail, and… Well, that’s it. Mello lives for schoolwork, to be the best and hope to right some of the wrongs in this world.

“Yo, Mihael,” the dean says when he sees them in front of his office the following morning. Lawliet is a TA at their university, still haunting the dorms. He has a creepy smile under his stupid raccoon eyes and he keeps using Mello’s birthname, like it makes any more sense to call them with that than to call them “xXx_sexy_blondie_xXx”, or however you pronounce that out loud.

“Lawliet. I saw you assigned me a roommate.”

“I did,” he smiles still, like there’s a joke Mello doesn’t get.

“Why ?” Mello would actually like to know - Lawliet never does anything at random.

“You’ll see when he arrives later today,” is the cryptic answer, and Mello sneers at their stupid fucking dean as they leave for their 8am lecture.

Because yes, multiple things are out to get their skin - though they won’t be deterred.

The day goes by in a flash, Screenwriting and Poetry being two of their most interesting classes, and by the time they’ve finished their Crime Prevision and Prevention homework at the library, the sun is well on its way down. Mello walks slowly to the dorms, enjoying the warm air - it’s still only September and winter hasn’t come yet. The music blasting from their headphones is a perfect background to the chill atmosphere, a few bird silhouettes dark against the wonderfully peach clouds. In a few minutes they’ll kiss Matt and they’ll eat a bite, and they’ll sleep knowing they’re safe now.

When they arrive in front of their room, a few cardboard boxes occupy the entrance. Shit fuck hell, they’d forgotten the roommate arrived today. All they can see from where they’re blocked from entering is a white blob of hair on top of baggy clothes, perched on the desk and looking at whatever Matt is playing.

“Uh, I’m supposed to be able to enter my own room,” Mello kind of yells. Only kind of. “Would you please not be a giant stupid bother before I even get your name ?”

“Sorry,” the snowball says, not looking sorry at all. “I’m Nate River.”

“But you can call him Near ! He plays retro games, which isn’t… let’s say it’s not my strong point, but I’m sure it’ll go well, we’re three whole weirdos with weirdo nicknames !”

Mello blinks. Near is still here. They blink again. Near is still here, looking a little like a frog with his lopsided smile, a hand playing with one of his curls. Mello blinks a third time and doesn’t expect Near to have packed his things and go, but that was a close call.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” they mutter. “Lawliet is gonna get killed.”

“You actually know enough about criminology to not be caught, so go you.” Near is smirking. Mello wants to cry. “But I would advise against it, because he’s dating that twink Light Yagami, the alumni who came last week to give the presentation about the War on Drugs and its consequences. He’s a police lieutenant now.”

“Called it !” Matt raises a fist in victory, taking five years from Mello’s lifespan. “Anyway, now that you’re here, please do help us with the last boxes. We’ve been setting up Near’s compy and it’s revoltingly difficult.”

“I will not- how can you ask me to- I’m gonna commit arson and this time I promise I’ll succeed !”

“Dramatic bitch,” Matt says jovially. “Just come in and drop your stuff, apparently someone from the ADA thing comes tomorrow to make sure the room is accessible with a crutch and to help Near settle in.”

Mello just now notices that Near isn’t fully standing up - he’s propped on the desk, a mechanical knee peeking through the bottom of his shorts. This changes nothing - though Mello feels the both grim and hopeful sense of community that disabled people get when they meet. Their ear still works wonky and their eye ? Not the sharpest either. Without talking about all the skin damage, the phantom pain, the- hell no, they won’t get into “reflective mode” without having eaten dinner first.

Reluctantly, Mello spends the rest of the evening avoiding Near as Matt and them help him settle in, surprised by the small amount of belongings he actually has - most of the boxes he brought are board games and hundreds of little kapla sticks. Is Near planning to recreate the Golden Bridge ? He looks like a nerd, maybe it’ll be the Death Star.

Routines are a persistent thing, and before they know it, Near has managed to get a small space - small, they insist - in Mello’s well-oiled machinery. He eats breakfast with Matt, a meal that Mello forgoes entirely, and he goes on unfortunate walks to his PT appointments, because he’s out of money from whatever government organism gives benefits to disabled people and can’t afford a cab. Mello thinks they should get into it a little more, maybe call their case worker, because ramen tastes worse and worse when you have it for every meal of the week. And then Near and Matt start talking about something or another, especially topics that annoy Mello, or Near gets a little too close to them while they both work on their assignments at their desk, his elbow barely brushing Mello’s side. It makes them shiver, but they will ignore that, thank you very much.

Another routine - bedtime - has gotten a little different. One single bed is enough for “one person and a half”, according to Matt, so the obvious solution to them being three in a two single beds room is to push the beds together.

“And now you have a perfect three people beddery !” Matt triumphantly declared. “Mello, you sleep in the middle.”

“Why am I in the middle ?” they protested. “It’s the least comfortable !”

“Oh well, we can take turns,” Near had snarked, knowing full well that the first one of them to sleep in the middle would have to accept defeat.

Mello does end up in the middle, Matt cuddled against their left side where the burn is, and Near an ever-closer presence against their right arm. It’s not as uncomfortable as they expected. Near doesn’t snore and he smells like minty toothpaste, a strangely comforting scent that lulls Mello to sleep way more easily than the five thousand melatonin pills they take before going to bed.

Oh well, maybe Lawliet can live a little longer. His boyfriend - Matt saw them kissing through the peephole, it’s official now - won’t have any (more) reasons to put Mello behind bars.

Near gets on top of International Law and keeps wearing strangely baggy clothes everywhere - or well, everywhere but in the dorms. Mello has time to get used to that mechanical knee, even asking a few questions about phantom pains on the days Matt is away and the itching gets unmanageable. Near is quiet like snow but they’re nothing alike in warmth, grey eyes like molten metal setting on Mello’s face and crinkling in a smile.

And it works wonders. One time they get a bad mark (for their standards) and they even study with Near for extra credit, a presentation about the death penalty that lasts about three quarters of the two hours class. The teacher gives them both full marks and Matt celebrates by crushing them both against his chest, the smell of motor oil and mint so comforting that Mello closes his eyes, just for a little while.

It’s winter before they have time to think about it, and finals go by in a blur of “no sleep, no food, no distractions”. They even manage to end up at the nurse’s office when they faint during the Criminology Theory exam, forced to drink sugar water until the world stops exploding in a million tiny stars when they move their head.

Mello thinks that surviving their last winter exam session ever - they should be able to find a job with a double Master’s degree in Criminology and Creative writing, right ? - deserves a celebratory nap and they sprawl on the bed as soon as they’re back from the last stupid oral presentation they have to do about stupid Foundations of Criminal Justice. Near is not in the room - which is weird, because he finished five minutes and thirty six seconds before them - and Matt is away for the day to try and get his internship at the garage, so they have the full three-person bed, and they fully intend to enjoy the luxury.

They enjoy it so much that they fall asleep, only noticing that time has passed because before they blinked, it was day, and it is now very much nighttime. Light giggles fill the room along with the muted light from Near’s bedside lamp, and Mello takes the time to relish in the quiet atmosphere. Hushed conversation rises from near the desk, giggles and the smell of hot chocolate both making Mello sit up at last.

“Lookit you ! Sleeping beauty arises. Though I haven’t kissed you yet,” Matt smiles, and he climbs on the bed to press his lips against Mello’s. “Love you,” he whispers as he pulls away and goes back to slump on Near’s shoulder.

At first, Near felt like an intruder each time Matt kissed them, but he’s become so embedded in their life that Mello doesn’t feel any awkwardness anymore - to the point where not including him has become the cause of their inner turmoil.

Because yeah, uh, there’s that. Near in a tank top and booty shorts, prosthetic being painted on by a very enthusiastic Matt, has become the new image they conjure up each time the need to strangle someone arises. And poof, instant peace. Discreet touches, Near sleeping fully cuddled against their right side now, Matt nosing through Near’s hair just after he’s washed it because his strawberry shampoo smells divine, Mello even going as far as ruffling Near’s hair without warning, just to see his little nose scrunch up… All that has become routine too, and suddenly the change is too big to go by unmentioned.

They’ve managed to hold on to their feelings until then but as Matt starts talking again, Near’s smile is a little too tight - though his eyes sparkle, it’s like… something’s missing.

“Emergency mee-ee-ting,” they yawn, the skin around their left eye crinkling up painfully. Near notices and doesn’t even ask before grabbing the petroleum jelly tube and throwing it rather inaccurately at their face. See, that’s what they were talking about, Near has just become… there, in the way Matt is there even when he’s asleep in another part of the universe where Mello can only hope to ever go to. “We gotta talk shit out.”

“Are you over your gay crisis yet ?” Matt asks, eyes calm and open, sipping hot chocolate with noisy slurps that Mello doesn’t bother mentioning anymore. His green hair looks more and more red as time passes, which is a strange feat of hair dye conspiracy. “Can we go back to playing ?”

“I haven’t even talked !” Mello protests. “I just really think it’s necessary to mention that…”

They don’t know how to continue that sentence. Near is looking at them with something strangely akin to hope, and Matt still has that infuriating openness about him like he just knows Mello so well he doesn’t need to be told what they feel.

Near doesn’t, though, and he matters enough to Mello now for them to want to include him in the little bubble as well.

“I just think it’d be cool if we shared the secret chocolate stash with Near,” is what comes out of their mouth.

Well done caporal, please die of shame now.

“Mels, wow, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said !” Matt’s voice drips with amusement - devoid of any mean spirit, they should add, because Matt is the one thing Mello knows is good in this world. And well, maybe there’s a second one they’ve stumbled on, and they want Near to know that he means a lot to them too.

“I mean it !” Mello whines. “He’s one of us now. I think we can share.”

“Mello. Please realise that I’ve been flirting with you this entire time,” comes Near’s deadpan answer. “The time I told you I wanted to braid your hair ? The time I made you sleep and finished the presentation alone because you’d gotten the flu and I hate being sneezed on ? The fact that Matt literally sits in my lap half the time, and only half because the other is spent on your lap ?”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off with me getting the flu.”

“You’re avoiding my question.” Near looks stubborn, and it’s a good look on him.

When did Mello start to think Near looks good ? “I, uh. I may be slightly romantically obtuse. Has Matt told you the time when-”

“-he kissed you and you thought he wanted to practice smooches for his secret best friend, because of course you wouldn’t be his best friend ?”

Utterly mortified, Mello can feel their cheeks become bright red. “Well, uh. Enough mushiness for tonight. Just pass me the chocolate, Matt, I’m starving.”

Matt giggles and throws a Kinder Egg at their face. Near munches on the leftover shell while Mello assembles the toy, and it’s peaceful - and happy, too, so when Mello raises a hand to their scar they smile still, in spite of their involuntary shiver.

#fanfiction #death note #submission #nearlymellodramattic #nearmattmello #lawlight mention #near #matt #mello #hazblogs #beyondplusultra #Mello's Birthday Mayhem 2020

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eagles-translated · 3 years

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This is when the fourth and final season of Eagles releases

This summer, the third season of the hit series Eagles premieres on SVT. Now it's confirmed that there will also be a season four - which will be the series' last. We've talked to actress Alva Bratt and screenwriter Michaela Hamilton.

The hit series "Eagles" will soon release its third season on SVT. In the series, we get to follow five teenagers who live in the hockey town Oskarshamn and their high school years, which are filled with friendship, love and rivalry - both on and off the ice. Now it's also confirmed that a fourth and final season of the SVT series is on its way. So how will it end for our favorite characters? We've talked to actress Alva Bratt and screenwriter Michaela Hamilton about the inspiration behind the characters and what the coming seasons have to offer.

- You could see it as season three and four entering phase two. When you start to face adult problems and how you handle them as a non-adult person, says Michaela Hamilton.

The second season of the teen series averaged over half a million viewers per episode and was nominated for Kristallen 2020 in the category of best TV drama of the year. Despite the success, season four will be the last season. Why is that?

- It's quite funny, the way you're asking the question. It's exactly the same thing you feel when you graduate: “Why does it have to end? We're here and having such a good time”. But we have to move on in life and release these people and relationships into the world. That is exactly what we're doing with Eagles as well, says Michaela Hamilton.

- It's good to finish on top! These were the years the show was supposed to be about. Now they're graduating and then we will set them free, Alva Bratt adds.

What will season 4 be about?

We've gotten to follow the characters during their high school years, and the fourth season will take place during the last six months before they graduate and go their own ways. Michaela remembers that there is an incredible pain in graduating and that you are exposed to the world in a completely different way.

- It is a rather bewildering moment in life when you know that you're going to be separated from people that you have first been forced to be with, but then learned to become friends with or live with, and what these goodbyes do to you. So that's where the basic story lies, says Michaela Hamilton.

Alva Bratt on Eagles-Felicia: "It's like her facade is falling quite a bit"

The third season premieres in June, and is largely about the main characters' different choices. Having to make important choices for the future, even though you may not really know who you are, and what the consequences will be. The third season of Eagles will be darker than the previous ones, which we will see in Alva Bratt's character Felicia Kroon.

- I would say that she feels darker and more insecure. It's like her facade is falling quite a bit, says Alva Bratt.

The season will address issues such as how young people are affected by anxiety over the future, mental illness and dysfunctional families. These are topics that both Michaela and Alva can recognize themselves in, but in different ways. Michaela says that she herself was very identity-seeking and insecure when she was younger. When she got a little older, she lost both her brother and stepfather and also had to go through incredible grief. She has tried to put that trauma into the Eagles' script.

- Grief is so striking and it does things to people, both in positive and negative ways. So I've really lent out a lot of my feelings about it, and it's something that has been personal to me, says Michaela.

It's precisely the search for identity that the screenwriters have attributed to Felicia's character. Trying to find out who you are by testing different identities, and that the journey there can be incredibly difficult. Themes such as mental illness and anxiety over the future are probably things that most people can relate to on some level.

- I've felt bad when I was younger, but also good. That's probably what youth is, I guess, says Michaela.

- That's probably also the climate we live in today. No one feels great all the time. I can feel anxiety over the future now more than ever. Especially with the pandemic, it's been awful on so many levels. That you have to live with the constant anxiety of the future. Even if you're feeling pretty well, it's always difficult to know what you're going to do in the future, says Alva.

They both think that these are important topics to highlight and show more sides of. Michaela says that Eagles has never tried to be a series that is only lighthearted, and they're trying to be a broader spectrum than that. The characters encounter problems such as eating disorders, cancel culture, rumors and drug problems.

- I don't think we're romanticizing anything, which I think is very important. It takes a whole lot to do certain things that some of the characters do, but at the same time there is a hopefulness in the series that gives balance, says Alva and continues:

- I think that one of the guy characters problems are highlighted very well. That these vulnerable guys get represented too, because I really think there is too little of that in media. This story also shows that all people are equal regardless of which gender, identity and class we feel like we belong in.

- Emotions belong to everyone, Michaela fills in.

Prior to the series, the production team did solid research work by interviewing young people in Oskarshamn, and among them many teenagers could recognize themselves in Felicia. But Alva Bratt, who plays the character, doesn't find many similarities between her and Felicia.

- I'm very different from my character. I've said it so many times, but she's like the teenager I never was, says Alva.

The characters may seem stereotypical at first, but as the series progresses, we get to see more sides of them. It's a bit like when we get to know someone in real life. At first we might see a happy guy, but the more we hang out with them the more sides to the person we get to see.

- I think it's nice to write a character just like that, to unfold it a bit like a flower. And it's especially important to understand that when you're young, you're not just evil or good or sad or happy. It's not a whole personality. You can change. You can feel shit but at the same time laugh with your family or have problems within the family but still be a good partner, says Michaela.

So, why has the show gotten so popular? Alva and Michaela think that a lot can be attributed to the viewers recognizing themselves or other people they know in the characters. That they are easy to relate to.

- That's the beauty of teen shows. Either you go through it, have to go through it or you have gone through it. That everyone can find something in there that you can relate to, says Michaela.

The filming for the fourth and final season starts soon. Since it has been clear that Eagles will be about the characters' time as high school students, it means that Eagles will end soon. Whether it will come in any other form remains to be seen.

- No closed doors. That's what I'll say, says Michaela.

When does Eagles season 3 premiere on SVT?

We've seen two seasons of Eagles so far and this summer the third season will finally premiere. Add June 4th 2021 to your calendars - that's the premiere date for season 3.

Quick Recap: This has happened in earlier seasons of Eagles

The first two seasons of Eagles can no longer be watched on SVT Play, which means that they're not possible to stream at the moment. Along with season 3, the previous episodes will return soon. But do you want to refresh your memory for the next season right now? If so, here's a quick recap of what happened in seasons 1 and 2.

This happened in Eagles season 1

In the first season of Eagles we met the Kroon siblings - the influencer Felicia (Alva Bratt) and the hockey player Elias (Edvard Olsson), who moved back to Sweden after their time in the US. Their father was a hockey professional in the NHL but is now taking over as a coach for the hockey team in Oskarshamn.

Felicia starts seeing Ludvig (Adrian Öjvindsson), the hockey talent who's been the best in the team - until Elias joined. The rivalry between the young people reflects much of the season both in friendship, love and popularity.

Klara Ceder (Sarah Gustafsson) who is the school's IT girl feels threatened by Felicia who invades her territory, both as the school's most popular girl and by hanging out with Amie (Yandeh Sallah), who was Klara's friend from the beginning.

Ludvig has family problems and drowns them in alcohol at a party. At the party he meets Amie, and something happens between them.

This happened in Eagles season 2

The second season of Eagles picks up from the dramatic end of season 1, but here we get to see a slightly darker season. Elias starts dating Klara, who Felicia doesn't like. But at the end of the season, Klara apologizes to Felicia, and we get to see other sides of her. Is this the beginning of a new friendship?

Felicia dates Jack Barrett (Filip Wolfe Sjunnesson), a new assistant coach on the team, until she learns worrying things about him.

There is a strange atmosphere between Ludvig and Amie, but they continue to make music together. When Ludvig ends up in the hospital after a hockey tackle, Amie kisses him, but he doesn't kiss her back. Are you allowed to fall in love with your friend's ex?

Cecilia Arvidsson March 15th, 2021 Source: (x)

#eagles svt #svt eagles #article #really interesting read with a few new details on s3 and s4!#along with quick recaps of season 1 and 2

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coralsgrimes · 3 years

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I'm the anon who liked the 1st single (I really need an identifier or signature or something), and I suspect I'm going to end up liking this one too.... But come on, it's a 30 second teaser! I *think* I'm going to like it based on the teaser, but as much as I like what he's done so far, I'm still leaving full judgment until I've listened to the whole damn thing. Some people are way too dramatic. Stay in class, the teaser will still be there when you get your break. Sheesh.

The hot bitch is in session. Gonna tell ye all what teaser is. Something used for promotion, it's supposed to spark interest for more. For me the teasers did not spark shit for ma dear life 😱😱 honestly I listened to the Rise Up teaser more than once only cuz the piano notes reminded me of a different song and I wanted to check if I’m onto something.

Had a couple of asks about the taste differences, which fully applies to the liking/disliking of the songs. However, it has nothing to do with factual statements about the banality of the lyrics I made a while back, and which ye are trying to reference here I guess? Is there anyone who can wholeheartedly admit that the lyrics of Benny Boy's single are complex or profound even? Ben only said about how deep and personal the lyrics are, but man, are they actually good? The first song he used to promote the whole EP left a lot to be desired so I very much doubt that the rest is gonna be any better, BASED ON WHAT WE GOT SO FAR. Do I have to bring our lovely friend, the female pirate, into the conversation? Again! I don’t mean the song itself, if ye like it, that's amazing, truly. Enjoy it. We’ll see how it really is next Friday, but my hopes and expectations are lower with each day…

NOW! What I talk about all the fucking time is the artistic or poetic value he tries to push but like… there is none? So again and yet again! It has nothing to do with tastes, the lyrics are just bland and infantile. The lyrics themselves are the god damned proof. Forty year old man wrote those… The same man who keeps talking about his fancy degree and how his understanding of literature and words altogether are so fucking superb that he could have outdone like idk the author of the book or an accomplished screenwriter x.x

Is calling bad writing, bad writing, subjective? Same with good writing lol That is too long of a conversation to have… but in the end the truth is that objectively there is bad and there is good writing. Are Benny Boys love letters the worst? LOL no. Weak as shite and shallow but not the worst.

And hell yeah I am dramatic lol that's the point of the blog. For me and other dramatic muffins to be dramatic bitches. I though it's clear by now ;c

And if I were a cunt and gave no fucks, I'd very subjectively say that 11:11 is garbage, dull and unimaginative and judging by the teaser (which is the point of it!!) Rise Up is as boring and cliché. The whole EP is shallow utter lyrical garbage I would say. Shit wrapped up in gold, glorified cash grab. But I'm trying to be nice and I won't say that 11:11 is dull, uninspiring garbage and judging by the teaser Rise Up is going to have the same value. Never said that, never gonna. There's like no proof that I ever said that 11:11 is derivative garbage and judging by the teaser Rise Up is as much garbage and what it does is just adding to the steamin hot pile of blandness. So we are good right? Cuz I will never say shit like that.

#the rono adventures ask #might be the last one ;c

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writing-prompts-for-friends · 4 years

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Notes on Robert McKee’s Story 34: Exposition—Show, Don't Tell

I know, we've all heard this 3000 times and I bet you're ready to skim right past this post. But McKee gives us solid advice on how to write good exposition, so stick around!

The famous axiom “Show, don’t tell” is the key. Never force words into a character’s mouth to tell the audience about world, history, or person. Rather, show us honest, natural scenes in which human beings talk and behave in honest, natural ways… yet at the same time indirectly pass along the necessary facts. In other words, dramatize exposition.

Dramatized exposition serves two ends: Its primary purpose is to further the immediate conflict. Its secondary purpose is to convey information. The anxious novice reverses that order, putting expositional duty ahead of dramatic necessity.

Bad Example of Exposition: Jack says, “Harry, how the hell long have we known one another? What? About twenty years, huh? Ever since we were at college together. That’s a long time, isn’t it, Harry? Well, how the hell are ya this morning?” Those lines have no purpose except to tell the eavesdropping audience that Jack and Harry are friends, went to school together twenty years ago, and they haven’t had lunch yet—a deadly beat of unnatural behavior. No one ever tells someone something they both already know unless saying the obvious fills another and compelling need. Therefore, if this information is needed, the writer must create a motivation for the dialogue that’s greater than the facts.

Good Example of Exposition: Jack, reacting to Harry’s stifled yawn and bloodshot eyes, says, “Harry, look at you. The same hippie haircut, still stoned by noon, the same juvenile stunts that got you kicked out of school twenty years ago. Are you ever gonna wake up and smell the coffee?” The audience’s eye jumps across the screen to see Harry’s reaction and indirectly hears “twenty years” and “school.”

What makes one example good and one bad? In the first example, that dialogue is downright unnatural. No one talks about something both people already know unless it it fulfills some other important need, which certainly wasn't present in that example.

And what makes example two good? McKee gives us a cool mnemonic: "Convert exposition into ammunition." Your characters know their world, their history, each other, and themselves. Let them use what they know as ammunition in their struggle to get what they want. Look at how Jack uses that information about Jack like bullets. They are sharp, piercing, they tell us the details we need to know about who Jack is and how long Harry has known each other--and they don't put us to sleep.

Sometimes, when a writer lacks confidence, they try to get all of their exposition out of the way at first. Teachers and those who have studied educational practices may be familiar with the term "frontloading," which is where the teacher gives their students all the information they will need before the lesson begins. My biology teacher started each lesson off with a list of vocabulary words that would be used in that day's material, for example. Frontloading sometimes has valid applications in the classroom.

But in a book? Almost never is it appropriate. Your readers will be falling asleep just like those students.

Instead, parse out exposition bit by bit, giving readers what they need to know when they need to know. Never sooner, never later.

Never include anything the audience can reasonably and easily assume has happened. Never pass on exposition unless the missing fact would cause confusion. You do not keep the audience’s interest by giving it information, but by withholding information, except that which is absolutely necessary for comprehension.

And what order should you relay in the information in? Exposition must have a progressive pattern, so the order should be this:

The least important facts

the next most important

the critical facts last

And what are critical facts? Secrets. The painful truths characters do not want known.

It's a common trend to write scenes in which two characters who hardly know each other sit down and immediately begin an intimate discussion of the deep, dark secrets of their lives. These unguardedly honest and painful confessions between people who have just met and are forced and false. Have you ever had a stranger overshare with you? For reasons I have yet to figure out, I'm somewhat of a magnet for people who need someone to listen. People telling me about spousal issues, serious medical diagnoses, financial woes--and I don't even know their name! Absolute strangers. It feels unnatural, awkward, and often times the person who is giving me all of this information is only doing so because they are not seeing a professional. So if you are aiming for realism in your work, perhaps avoid this method of exposition.

"A certain breed of West Coaster carries around prepared deep dark secrets to share with one another at cocktail parties to validate themselves one to the other as authentic Californians—”centered”—and “in touch with their inner beings.” When I’m standing over the tortilla dip at such parties and somebody tells me about dog shit in his Keds as a child, my thought is: “Wow! If that’s the prepared deep dark secret he tells people over the guacamole, what’s the real stuff?” For there’s always something else. Whatever is said hides what cannot be said."

The wise writer, therefore, obeys the first principle of temporal art: Save the best for last. If we reveal too much too soon, the audience will see the climaxes coming long before they arrive.

"Reveal only that exposition the audience absolutely needs and wants to know and no more."

On the other hand, since the writer controls the telling, he controls the need and desire to know. If at a certain point in the telling, a piece of exposition must be known or the audience won’t be able to follow, create the desire to know by arousing curiosity. Put the question “Why?” in the reader’s mind. “Why is this character behaving this way? Why doesn’t this or that happen? Why?” With a hunger for information, even the most complicated set of dramatized facts will pass smoothly into understanding.

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print

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blackhyena · 3 years

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gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not

5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire

8. Paper or electronic books? paper

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously

11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche

13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!

15. Which element best represents you? this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend

20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen.

25. What is your star sign? libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)

27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?

31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!

32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.

40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat

41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.

44. What is your most used emoji? red love heart emoji....

45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...

46. What do you regret the most? not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?

47. Last movie you saw? belle!

48. Last tv show you watched? succession

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat.

i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess

#text post

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365days365movies · 3 years

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January 11, 2021: Come Drink with Me (Epilogue)

Y’know, I went back and looked at my Top Gun review today, and I realized something: it’s been a while since I had a wholly negative outlook on a film, huh? And, honestly, this one’s the same. Spoiler alert, I liked this movie. Which must not be the most entertaining thing to read, sorry.

BUT STILL

I love wuxia, even though I’ve not seen a lot of it. Another reason I wanted to throw it into this month. Hero remains one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen.

And I’m looking forward to a little more Zhang Yimou, that’s for sure. That said, what did I think of the first major wuxia film? I mean, I just said I loved it...

BUT STILL

Review

Cast and Acting

Awesome! Judging it on slightly different standards than acting today, as sensibilities have definitely changed since 1966. But yeah, acting’s good, cast is good, no complaints here. Some special call-outs for Cheng Pei-Pei (Golden Swallow), Yuen Ha (Drunken Cat) and Chan Hung-Lit (Jade Faced Tiger). And for the record, based on today’s standards, it’d all be a little over the top. But this ain’t today, it’s 1966 Hong Kong! So, as far as I can see, there’s nothing really wrong with the acting here!

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Plot and Writing

Simple and engaging plot! Two prisoners, two groups, and conflict around that fact. It’s a pretty simple plot, surrounded by effective writing. Again, no big complaints here. Well...maybe one. The story kind of completely changes protagonists in the middle, from Swallow to Cat. And while Swallow does get a conclusion that’s satisfying enough, I feel like she loses her agency and usefulness to the plot once she gets poisoned. However, it’s not the biggest issue in the world. Just a personal preference. Plus, props for not making the two protagonists love interests.

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Direction and Action

The director of this movie is King Hu, a wuxia pioneer, screenwriter, and set designer. His skill in filming fight choreography is pretty apparent, as is the fight choreography itself. So, yeah, he does a great job. While I was definitely expecting more dramatic action for wuxia, this is obviously very early in the genre, and the crazy shit hadn’t been introduced to it yet. So, outside of that...this action is fantastic, and interesting to watch! So, yeah, top marks for this one.

Direction and Action: 10/10

Production Design

The costumes are gorgeous and iconic on basically all fronts. Jade-Faced Tiger and Swallow’s outfit at the temple definitely stick out in my memory. The sets are beautiful as well, and I do indeed feel like I’m in an old China as the movie progresses. Little touches, like an unfinished game of Go in the background, really add to the authenticity of the film. Which makes sense, since it IS a Chinese film. Gorgeous movie, gorgeous sets, gorgeous costumes...gorgeous. Lighting sometimes leaves something to be desired.

Production Design: 9/10

Music and Editing

OK, Good news first. Not only is the music good, it’s also narratively useful, ESPECIALLY for Drunken Cat. His subtle little leitmotif rears its head a few times in the film, and is originally introduced when he sings his message to Swallow. This score is fantastic as well, and something I’d actually consider purchasing if I could. I’m a forever GM, and I’ve considered running a Pathfinder path based around China. If I ever do, I’ll be using this soundtrack as backing, it’s that good.

Bad news? THE DUB. Yeah, I can’t forgive the dub for this movie. Seriously, it is TERRIBLE. If you watch this movie, you’ll have to do what I did and hunt down the original Mandarin version of this movie. Because the English dub is SO BAD, that it actually completely derails an important plot revelation in the film revolving around Cat. It’s SO ATROCIOUS, that I gotta give 1 point off. Seriously. It’s petty, sure, but I genuinely hate the dub that much, you have NO idea.

Music and Editing: 9/10

90%!

Seems about right, as this movie was great! Yup. Wuxia. Let’s do it, I’m all in, seriously. LET’S WATCH SOMETHING ELSE AWESOME.

January 12, 2021: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

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lilfellasblog · 5 years

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Panic! at the Analogical

Summary: This is in response to the following ask: “ idk about you, but too often i see virgil be the meek one, the shy one, the one reluctant to be in any relationship out of fear. but like, here's a concept... Virgil's anxiety making him do something out of impulse out of fear of not getting another chance to do it. Like... kissing Logan right on the lips during a Moment(tm) for example.”

I hope this is what you’re looking for!!

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this writing reach a wider audience.

TW: mild panic, mild negative thinking, mentions of car crashes and deaths from car crashes, a character lists off several ways to die, kissing, allusions to making out and sex. Let me know if I missed any!!!

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

“Salutations, Roman, Patton. Good morning Virgil.”

Virgil jumped and almost choked on his coffee. He turned his head towards where Logan had sat down with his own coffee at the table. The Sides were getting together for breakfast, and Logan had his tablet, ready for their morning rundown of the day’s schedule.

“Mornin’ Logan,” he mumbled, not making eye contact, his cheeks burning.

Virgil made the coffee, Patton had made a quiche with pancakes and bacon as side dishes, and Roman “helping” by shamelessly flirting with Patton. The two had gotten together three months ago and had been sickeningly sweet with each other ever since. Virgil teased them for it and pretended to be nauseated by the displays, but in reality he was happy for them. They were great for each other.

Logan finished before the other Sides, surprising no one. Somehow, he always beat out the other Sides, even Roman during steak night! Roman had pouted until Patton had placed little kisses all over his face.

The logical Side washed his hands and placed his dishes in the sink, pulled out his tablet, and adjusted his glasses.

How does Logan make adjusting his glasses so fucking sexy? I’m too gay to exist, oh my god I need help.

Logan cleared his throat, and Virgil was about to discorporate, he was sure of it.

“Alright, Thomas has a rather busy day up until 5:30 PM, when he will make dinner and relax for the evening. Immediately after breakfast, he will need to drive to the office for a remote business meeting with Marvel to discuss screenwriting." Virgil nodded towards Logan to acknowledge him, knowing Thomas would have to be alert to drive.

Oh god, 40,000 people die in car accidents every year in America, what if Thomas dies in a car accident on his way to the office? What if he doesn’t get the deal with Marvel? What if he never gets to see his friends and family again?! What if he dies before I can ask Logan out?! What if- wait, what?

Virgil shook himself and focused on his breathing exercises. It’s okay, it’s okay. Thomas is a good driver. It’ll be okay, I’m okay-

“Virgil? Are you alright?”

Virgil met Logan’s concerned gaze. His deep, espresso eyes were focused on him, but they weren’t as hard and intense as usual. They were gentle, warm, rich, captivating…

I’m not okay.

“Yeah L, sorry. Just started thinking about car accidents and stuff. Sorry, I’m good.”

“If you’re sure,” Logan said slowly, gaze never wavering, soft but penetrating.

Virgil smiled shakily at him. “I am. I’ll be fine.”

Logan gave him a quick nod, dropping the conversation. “Alright. As I was saying, after the meeting…”

Logan proceeded to go through the entire day, each of the Sides jumping in and either asking questions or giving more information. Dark, anxious thoughts continued to plague Virgil, his heart rate increasing and his hands shaking slightly.

In a second, we could just be… gone. Like that. With our opportunities gone, we wouldn’t be able to do anything else, experience anything new...

“And finally, like I said, Thomas should have time for a relaxing evening, so we should be able to relax as well.”

“What are you doing?!” Virgil blurted out in a panic.

The only indication Logan gave of being surprised was a twitch of his eyebrows. “I’m going over Thomas’ schedule for today.”

Virgil bit his lip and looked down, his face on fire. Maybe this is how spontaneous human combustion works. But we’re Sides, would it even work like that? Wait, shit, talking to Logan, focus.

“I mean, this evening. What are you doing this evening?”

“Ah. I was intending on re-reading a few astronomy textbooks, but I would be amenable to spending the evening in your presence if you so desire.”

Oh. Oh shit. He said he wanted to hang out with me. What do I do? Fuckfuckfuckfuck what do I do what do I do what do I do…

“Dope!” Virgil finger-gunned at Logan and immediately wanted to melt into a puddle and cease to exist.

Logan huffed out a laugh and sent Virgil a rare half-smile. While Virgil waited for the static to fade from his ears, Logan wrapped up the rest of the daily review and the others finished breakfast, Virgil having heard nothing after he ruined any chance he had with Logan.

“Oh, and Virgil?”

Virgil looked up at Logan, eyes wide.

Logan smiled softly. “I’m looking forward to tonight,” he said before he walked out of the kitchen.

Virgil felt like he was floating. Was that flirting? Was Logan flirting with me? Was I flirting with Logan? Oh SHIT, is this a date?!

Virgil sank out to his room and flopped on his bed, panicking but doing his best to keep that from his Host. He spent the rest of the day masterfully avoiding thinking about his maybe-date with Logan, only for that to blow up in his face during dinner, because Logan was at dinner, and the date was after dinner, and oh god is this even a date?! Should I be wearing something different?! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-

“Salutations Patton, Roman. Good evening Virgil.”

Virgil’s voice cracked as he replied, “Hey!”

I’m gonna die alone.

Dinner passed relatively smoothly, Roman and Patton exchanging glances, with Patton blushing and giggling, and Roman grinning and looking Patton up and down.

Logan, as always, finished before everyone else, and Virgil still had no idea what to do, even though he had suggested they hang out!

“Virgil, would you like to hang out in one of our rooms or out in the living room this evening?”

Virgil thought about the options. My room has terrible lighting, and what if Logan still wants to read tonight? The living room might have Patton and Roman making out in it, so no.

“Your room?”

“Very well. I’ll see you after dinner.”

Virgil smiled and nodded as Logan left, screaming on the inside.

“Oooooooo do you have a date?!” Patton asked excitedly.

Virgil blushed and hunched his shoulders. “No, We’re just hanging out. It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Roman teased.

Virgil just silently pushed his chicken picatta around on his plate.

Roman sighed. “Regardless of whether or not it’s a date, would you want it to be a date?”

Virgil looked at Roman out of the corner of his eye. He looked sincere enough…

“Dunno.”

Patton tilted his head. “You don’t want to be dating Logan? I thought it was pretty obvious you two liked each other. Is that wrong?”

Virgil felt like he got electrocuted. “Wait, what?! Logan wants to…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

Patton giggled. “It’s so obvious!! He smiles so cutely at you, he acts so cute around you, he’s just so cute around you!!!”

Virgil cracked a smile at Patton’s enthusiasm. Roman squared his shoulders.

“So do you want this to be a date or not?”

Virgil ducked his head. “Dunno.” I can’t tell him I can’t tell him I can’t tell him I can’t tell him…

Roman sighed dramatically. “Such a burden is being the romantic Side.”

Patton smiled innocently up at him. “Maybe I could ease your burden tonight, my king?”

Virgil shoveled the rest of his chicken and roasted vegetables into his mouth and nearly ran out of the kitchen.

Roman raised his eyebrows at Patton. “Nice. Thought he’d never go see Logan.”

Patton stretched, Roman watching the movement. “I said that for two reasons.” Patton leveled Roman with an intentional look. They both stood and sank out to Roman’s room.

/////

Virgil stared at the pristine dark blue door in front of him, the same one he’d been staring at for 10 minutes.

Come on you coward, fucking knock on the door already.

Virgil had gone to his room to brush his teeth, just in case because what if Logan thought he always had bad breath and was disgusted by him and never wanted to see him again-

Virgil nearly hit the ceiling when the door opened.

“Hello Virgil,” Logan said, eyes warm.

“How’d you know I was out here?” Nice, smooth, great response.

Logan was unfazed. “I saw your shadow outside my door. I thought you might be nervous. Would you like to come in?”

Virgil nodded. Logan stepped to the side, and Virgil walked in the room. Everything was neat, in order, perfect. Virgil was suddenly very glad he didn’t suggest his own room.

“Is there an activity you had in mind for this evening, or would you just like to be in each other’s presences while we relaxed on our own?”

Virgil looked at Logan, studying his face carefully. Logan was relaxed, which was very different from his pinched look when he was trying to restrain emotions.

“Wanna look at stars? You mentioned you had some textbooks on that?”

Logan’s eyes got a mischievous twinkle. “I can do better than that.” He waved his hand, his room grew dark, and suddenly his ceiling was the full night sky.

“Holy shit!!!”

Virgil thought he saw Logan’s chest puff out.

“Thank you. I worked to ensure this sky is accurate. Would you like to lay down on a blanket?”

Virgil looked down, and sure enough there was a blanket. It was a blue plaid and Virgil thought he saw lavender in there, but he figured it must just be from the dim light. He wordlessly laid down, crossing his arms behind his head. Logan laid down next to him, only a few inches apart.

“If you’ll look right above us, you’ll see Cassiopeia. The constellation has a very interesting story.”

Logan went over every single visible constellation, and Virgil was enraptured. Logan explained everything in such detail and with such passion that he couldn’t help but watch Logan more than the night sky. Everything was going great, until his anxiety decided to be an asshole.

“Is this a date?” he asked on impulse. Logan’s face turned towards him as Virgil astral projected from sheer gay panic.

“Would you like it to be?” Logan asked quietly. It took Virgil a few seconds to process the question thanks to the aforementioned astral projection, but once he did he felt all of the blood leave his body, turning his skin to ice.

“I, um, what about you?”

Logan took a deep breath. “If that something that you’d be interested in, then I would like that.”

Virgil froze. Huh. Okay. That’s new. “What… what do we do?”

Logan looked unsure of himself. “It depends. Do you indeed want this to be a date?”

Oh right, I should probably answer his question. “I, uh… yeah. Yeah I do.”

Logan’s entire body relaxed. “I am ecstatic to hear that, Virgil. Now what did you mean by your question?”

Virgil felt his chest tightening with fear. “Do we have to kiss? Do you have sex on the first date? I don’t want to disappoint or frustrate or tease you or anything and-”

“Breathe darling.”

And okay, how do you expect me to breathe when you use nicknames like that?! Virgil obediently went through a breathing exercise before Logan spoke again.

“I do not personally want to engage in coitus on the first date, and I certainly don’t want to if you don’t want to. As for kissing, I would be very receptive to the act, but again, only if you want to.”

Car crashes, 40,000 deaths in America alone from car accidents per year, cows, lightning, sharks, fires, hurricanes…

Do it you coward!

Virgil surged forward and kissed Logan. Logan froze in surprise, before moving his lips and reciprocating the kiss.

Why the fuck did you do that?!

You told me to do it!

I didn’t think you’d actually do it!!

Virgil pulled back. “I’m sorry, you said you were okay with it and I wasn’t sure if we’d get another chance and-”

Virgil was cut off as Logan pulled him in for another kiss. And another. And another.

Afterwards, Logan pulled Virgil onto his chest and continued talking about the night sky. When Virgil fell asleep, he waved his hand and turned the area back into his bedroom, him and Virgil on the bed. Logan carefully covered Virgil with the blanket and put his glasses on the nightstand.

“Goodnight, Virgil.”

@xbrad-pitifulx @escalatingtoofast @falseh0od @violetsanderssides @fantasy-loving-witchling

#sanders sides #fanfic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #royality #roman sanders #patton sanders #ts sides #fic #fanfiction #thomas sanders #gay

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biblio-bitch · 4 years

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Teen Titans 1x01 Blind Reaction

I haven’t watched the OG Teen Titans yet. Sue me. I wasn’t allowed to watch cartoons as a kid so I’m playing catch-up here. As usual, spoilers and cursing under the cut! Also. apologies for the short sentences, it was like 3 am.

A disclaimer: This is entirely for fun and a lot of the comments I make are based on my preferences for media as well as the way I, as a writer, would have written things.

If I say something you disagree with (more likely in my analysis posts than my reactions) then I am more than happy to hear your opinions so long as you are respectful!

If you followed me for Detroit Evolution content I promise I’ll post the rest soon. Formatting and proofreading takes ages. I also might start liveblogging my adventures in screenwriting so look out for that!

That being said, let’s get into it!

[In brackets is added post-watch.]

Holy old animation Batman. It feels like Phineas and Ferb.

BB Sounds like Phineas.

The cheesy intro tho

Seriously which Robin is this cause I think it’s Dick but Idk

“Titans Go!”

The theme song is iconic

Love the OG Raven design

Is the theme Japanese?? It kinda feels Japanese

I love that Starfire’s outfit isn’t like literally a bikini it’s nice since she’s designed like a sixteen year old

Epic fight scene™️. Makes me feel like something’s going to go wrong.

“I am stronger than I look” fuck yeah Star get his ass

Honestly wtf Rob you’re like twelve and you don’t have powers??? Also is he wearing steel toe boots?? I thought they were converse at first. Seriously Batman, what’s with the child soldiers??

Cyborg?? I love him

Ouch that was a fail

Ok the bo staff is a Tim Drake signature as far as I know so wtf???? Which black haired mf is this???

It’s Dick. I googled. [I love DC and I realize that most of the Robins were designed before having diverse characters was a thing but literally they all look the same. Like personally I’d love to see a Romani or other non-white rep for Dick.

{I gleefully return to this post with news that Dick is canonically Romani! He’s been played so often as white, including in the new Titans, which I will be making a post about, but he was confirmed to be poc in Devin Grayson’s Gotham Knights. He’s part Romani on his mother’s side. She, according to Tim Seeley’s twitter, is an immigrant. He was originally presented without a confirmed ethnicity! My apologies for being uninformed about this. I stated Romani specifically here before knowing because I had seen people talk about him as such and really enjoyed it.}

Maybe a mixed Jason? I feel like Tim is white mostly bc he’s rich IN GOTHAM,,, but like I never turn down the possibility of poc characters. Damian is canonically middle eastern so if I ever see a live action Damian not played by a middle eastern brown kid I’m rioting.]

What a petulant child. Blaming each other. Now they’re fighting. [This part feels very overdramatic to me personally. I do think that if this wasn’t animated it would be toned down quite a bit. That being said? I do think it’s in character for Dick, especially late Robin-era Dick, to have outbursts like that, especially as a character that I see as needing a lot of control.]

Oh wonderful. He quit. That’s overly dramatic.

Oh goddamn it Slade.

I’m not supposed to know he’s Slade yet tho huh. [Rip the element of surprise with that, I have a habit of learning everything from things before investing my time in it, and my obsession with other versions of DC comics isn’t helpful in this situation. Also the 25 pages of AO3 I’ve read about the Bats gives quite a bit away.]

Oh ew that’s a plasma monster

He looks like fuckin,,, Underbelly! that mf from the Red Hood/Arsenal comics. [Underbelly is the personification of the criminal world. I got through four RH/A comics as of posting this so once I finish that storyline I’ll probably post about it]

“It’s pointless to get upset about Cyborg” breaks glass. [I personally really fw Raven being like ‘master of meditation i feel nothing’ but then these dumbasses get all up in her brain and she ends up loving them like honestly that’s amazing]

“I’m fine” fucks up that punching bag. Master of emotions this bitch. [I don’t think that this little tantrum is entirely because Cyborg left. Again, Dick was raised by Batman, and neither of them are too good about losing control and fucking up. This to me is very much a mix of guilt for having driven away a friend and teammate, anger at Cyborg for leaving, and also anger at himself for a perceived failure. Bruce really needs to get his kids therapy bc the complexes are really shining through.]

Now they’re sad like bitch ur the one who kicked him out???

He’s eating something and it’s gross.

“That stuff can’t be good for you” Robin,,, sweaty,,,

The puns. Jeez Louise.

Immensely powerful half demon lady and the best you can do is some cans?? [Again with the things you shouldn’t know, Theo. Yeah I get that she’s still a kid and the demon lady thing isn’t exactly revealed yet, but I maintain that the barrels -- which I realized that they’re barrels not cans -- could be improved upon]

“You giant zit”??? A Child [Seriously how old is he because it’s concerning that he seems as young as he does. @ Bruce wtf did you do to your kids]

Phase three what an ominous asshole

Again with the puns Rob like jeez just fight this mf

Star,, you’re an alien?? Why are you screaming??

Both eyes on the road while flying Raven

He just extends the bo again bro what kinda bat bullshit is this

Cyborg saving the day!! We gotta love that. “Still got the sonic if you still got the boom” what kids I love them

I love that he just,, brought Cinderblock with him. He’s just that powerful.

Wtf is up with this knockoff Alfred mf with Slade? Also?? What stereotypical villain shit Slade step it up. [Titans (2018) Slade is like,,, so much better at this. Hell, even Arrow Slade is more nefarious.]

[I know it’s stupid to say this about an antagonist from a kids show vs two YA/Adult shows but like?? Titans Slade had the Motive, and Arrow Slade was Deep. In my defense here, I’m only on Ep 1, I’m sure he gets more interesting as the show progresses.

My non-sleep deprived rating? 9/10. Points off for melodrama but points on for nostalgia and attention grabbing. I’m not really into kids shows so I did my best to be fair despite that. Personally I think it’s a little much on the fighting especially for a pilot and it definitely seemed a little bit rushed. But, the animation is fun, I love the way each character is distinctive in costume and personality.

Keep in mind I prefer watching things with writing/pacing like Arrow, The Flash, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and the new Titans TV show and all of my ratings are going to be skewed based on a preference for stronger and darker material.

With that in mind, I did enjoy the episode and I do want to continue watching. I think if I had watched this as a 10-11 year old, it would’ve been amazing.]

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cto10121 · 2 years

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west side story (2021) review, the good, the bad, and the ugly. let’s go, daddy-o. spoilers, of course

the good:

dramatically, much more satisfying than the 1961 movie. the sharks and the jets were appropriately very rough. riff especially was terrific. miss the balletic elegance of the original bernardo (george chakiris) something awful, but the acting overall was much more improved.

the song order made musical and dramatic sense!!! thank goodness, that i was the most worried about. “i feel pretty” was in its original broadway placement, but it wasn’t too bad (could have done a better lead-in, though). i would have much preferred the film placement. i liked the conceit of the gun play in “cool,” but i still love the swing and robbins dance of the original, can’t be beat.

the lovers!!! their chemistry!!! much better than the ‘61 movie (the height difference helps a lot, muah).

“i have forgotten why i called you.” “let me stay here till you’ve remembered it.” be still, my shakespearean heart. points to the screenwriter

ansel engort as tony. it’s too bad he’s cancelled, because he was much better overall than beymer. i actually found him a better actor than rachel zegler, though not a better singer. they gave him a backstory about how he almost killed a PR, landed him in jail, and that’s how he turned his back on that street life. great. it was affecting. it was “whoop, tripped on your dick”-able. actually first time i noticed engort was fuckable. he was very meh in “the fault of our stars.”

rachel zegler as maria. i should have known they would have not have fucked around with casting maria, because the role is not fuck-aroundable. they pulled through this time. she did lovely vocally, and her acting was solid. still not as beautifully as the maria from the houston grand opera production i saw (teared up her “somewhere,” it was so beautiful), but she looked the part and she was just lovely overall.

did i forget to mention riff? freakin’ RIFF. terrific. had good chemistry with tony too (though with pure shipping fodder for the tumblr crowd. i know you lot well by now, don’t lie).

they actually got a vocal coach for the puerto rican accent! kind of extra, but nice. that said, you can tell the original actors’ spanish is different from the borriqueño accent, and it was kind of put on.

at the end they bore a dead tony away in the exact same way they bore mercutio and tybalt off in french retj. no, seriously! i know i’m a dumb fangirl about retj, but it did make me wonder…

i liked rita moreno’s character background as the widow of doc. nice touch with the white/hispanic interracial romance parallel

lt. schrank and krupke were well-played. i was actually impressed by schrank in the scene when he’s interrogating maria and anita on chino and shows that he knows spanish. it was good writing.

the fighting really was visceral. i was genuinely like “holy shit” the whole time i was watching. ditto for the rape scene. when i first watched the ‘61 version, i actually didn’t caught on that it was supposed to be an attempted rape scene (i was a kid tho) so anita getting angry and lying that maria was dead made little sense. here it did, so props

the tonight quartet was done much better than in the ‘61 version. could have done without the fade out on anita, though.

the bad:

the dialogue for the meeting scene, the balcony scene (somewhat) and the “one hand, one heart” scene was…not great. actually inferior to the movie/stage dialogue. movie just didn’t romance good overall. actors had to do a lot of work pulling it off

maria laughing at tony trying to speak spanish to her (“yo quiero estar contigo para siempre”). it was fine on literally the first try, it was cute!!! i was personally beaming. his scene with valentina/rita moreno teaching him spanish was funny. it felt mean

actually the dialogue in general. some of it was strong and impactful, but that first scene before the jets song ran way too long. there was clearly some meta attempts to justify the existence of a white ethnic gang

and oh, that borrinqueño song the sharks sang when they left was just awful. scrub it off my memory, please.

the music and arrangements were not…bad, per se. it’s just…the orchestra was bigger in both the ‘61 and the leonard bernstein version with kiri te kanawa and josé carreras. i could have sworn gustavo dudamel had a bigger orchestra than this

some of the presentation of the songs was uneven. the jet song was weak, “america” started weak and ended strong. you get the idea

i feel ariana debose didn’t do as great as anita as rita moreno (don’t know about chita rivera, never saw her act it). it may be the writing, though. anita is supposed to be a character eager to be american, speaking mostly english, losing her accent, etc. bernardo and the sharks is supposed to be ones who are like fuck the whites!!! it doesn’t really come across like that, though, which leads me to:

the america lyrics. they kept the boy-girl version, great! they replaced anita’s beginning (“puerto rico / my heart’s devotion / let it sink back in the ocean” or even “puerto rico / you ugly island / island of tropic diseases”) for “puerto rico / you lovely island” which is supposed to be one of the shark girls’ intro!!! and then of course the censoring of “and the bullets flying” to “and the people trying” (and not sung by anita). it makes no sense for anita to start singing about how great puerto rico is and then how she prefers to be in america (???). made no sense whatsoever

spielberg must have been allergic to fantasy sequences, because he just…didn’t do them. even though they are written in the show. the transition from maria twirling to the dance of the gym was cut—i know it looked weird in the ‘61 movie, but it was the sixties! editing and special effects were not that great. now we do know how to edit better, why not use it? also, the maria cha-cha/meeting scene should definitely had been a fantasy sequence. the meeting behind the bleachers thing was just cringe. and again the dialogue (“you don’t like to dance?” “i don’t. i do. i like to dance now.” just say “i do now” dude. compress it!!).

also, (i will die on this hill): “gee officer krupke” should have 100% been a fantasy sequence and it is just. never been done as one. it’s perfectly fine and witty on stage, but on film you’re just seeing a bunch of street-hardened kids doing costume theater…yeah, it’s just awkward. it didn’t help matters that it was not as expressive or as fun or even as impactful as the ‘61 version. also the ‘61 version had a better lead-in

did not appreciate the loss of the robbins choreography, especially in the rumble and prologue. just because idiots call it too gay for tough gangsters doesn’t mean it wasn’t the best. goddamn. thing. in the original ‘61 version they looked like panthers on the prowl, sinuous and deadly.

did not like how the mambo dance was interrupted by plot. especially since it began so well with the blues and the tension of the promenade!!! the mambo also was not a true mambo or even fully latin—it’s a hybridized dance with latin and jazz elements. so anita calling for it was stupid and cringe (both sides originally called for a dance-off), and them not showcasing the dancing skills of the jets (really missed russ tamblyn’s tumbling!!! it was so badass).

the jets girls being non-entities for most of the movie until anita’s rape scene when they almost randomly try to help her just after racially abusing her. because we can’t let the audience think that the movie thinks rape isn’t wrong!!! what would the twitter discourse say???? ay ay ay

the ugly:

the swaths of spanish, mostly untranslated, without subtitles. -.- i’m a bilingual latina, watched it with my first generation colombian dad who saw the ‘61 version in the theaters and it threw us off. imagine how the monolinguals must feel—hell, just the people who don’t speak spanish!!! west side story is not a “puerto rican/hispanic” thing, it’s a worldwide phenomenon. it’s limiting and exclusive when it shouldn’t be. no mames

GIVING “SOMEWHERE” TO RITA MORENO

NO, SERIOUSLY, “SOMEWHERE” SUNG BY RITA FREAKIN’ MORENO. i was so pissed, and i mean glaring-at-the-screen pissed. wtf, movie???? what the fuck was wrong with the duet of the ‘61? with even the disembodied voice of the broadway musical? what did “somewhere” do that made you hate it so much????? and no, rita moreno did not do a good job singing it she was weak asf. shit, i thought it was a trailer thing. did not expect to be blindsided by this shit. crass move

also cutting the somewhere reprise at the ending scene for “one hand, one heart.” no. just no.

also rita moreno was overall weak in this. it’s true. sorry not sorry. she could have made a good cameo, but they just stuck her where she didn’t need to be, including the even lamer ending of leading chino to the police. the worst was during “something’s coming” with tony singing directly at her. cringe

“something’s coming” was overall botched. the whole tony and riff dialogue was good, if overly long, but riff didn’t even persuade tony to come to the dance!!! so tony singing about “something’s coming” came out of nowhere—what is he looking forward to tonight? and then he just appears at the dance. i’m guessing they tried to make the song about him slowly coming around to the idea??? didn’t work imo

the jets were never the heroes of west side story. they were consistently shown as the aggressors or at least the most racist most of the time in the stage and in the movie. but this movie tips them almost into villain territory while the sharks have a (totally unbelievable) scene trying persuading chino not to kill tony. the original movie struck a better balance, though mostly its point was not about which side is more racist, it was about the dangers of tribal mentality and us vs. them racism. the jets are also abused by racial slurs by lt. schrank and krupke in the original ‘61—this movie only keeps the “polack” comment by bernardo. there are no more white ethnic gangs, though, so the racism towards them wouldn’t ring true for today’s audiences. but let’s face it, west side story is a period piece, and it’s still set in the ‘50s here.

tony and maria in the subway arguing about which side is more racist (?) and trying to justify their own people. no. they are not supposed to care about all of that. especially this tony, who is protective of and grateful to valentina and stood up for her against riff. he even learns spanish for her!!! it rang untrue. also maria felt more resistant somehow to tony

the thematic shift altogether. the original musical and movie had a simplistic and cheesy “love not hate” theme, but y’know, can’t argue with that. here it honestly felt as if the movie accepted the racism (?) as de facto and tony and maria as mere casualties of a long war. also there’s valentina’s “life is more important than love” warning to tony (??) which is much more riddling. first of all, you can’t really say the lovers gave their lives for love as r&j did. tony’s death was very much feud-related, just precipitated by the thought of maria dying. maria didn’t die at all. the warning doesn’t apply here. i guess it might have just been an attempt on valentina’s part to keep tony from assisted suicide and no real thematic meta statement, but still. also, this is a movie where two gangs actively try to kill life and hold no love for each other. i think we all know what is the bigger problem here.

the close ups. few and far-between for the most part, but some felt claustrophobic, not intimate, and in some cases just lazy. spielsburg just plopped the camera down in front of maria and anita during “a boy like that” and had them sing-talk to each other. i call it the les misérables school of the most literal talk-singing ever.

tony fighting back and beating up bernardo before realizing what he is doing and riff taking over. no. for one thing, it made the point where tony finally snaps and kills bernardo far less meaningful. we know tony has a rough past and is capable of defending himself—he is just smart (and de facto traumatized) in turning away from that life. it would have been far better to have made riff snap from seeing tony being beat up and fight bernardo with a weapon.

in sum: the movie did work best as a movie, which is more than i can say for other musical movies minus chicago. spielberg was helped by the fact that wss was dramatic and heavy already thanks to its r&j roots, but some of his adaptational decisions were questionable. and while competitive with the ‘61 movie in many ways, i don’t think it was artistically better than even the bernstein operatic version. musically and vocally it was solid, but the truncated jerome robbins was keenly felt. you could feel his ghost bristling at parts—the dancers did well enough, but that obsessive, gravity-defying perfectionism and keen eye for detail…nah. done on purpose, i know, but it burns me, because if there is one thing the americans have managed to retain, it’s good dancing and choreography. they brought in gustavo dudamel but did not give him a big orchestra; the weakest arrangements were for the swing/jazz pieces. understandable, but it makes my heart burn. that’s my fannish heart talking—but honestly, yeah. in many ways this is an improvement.

#west side story #cristina reviews #that somewhere gaffe was unforgivable but it was overall good #all in all would watch again #i probably should

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everymovie2020 · 4 years

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2012 (2009)

Date watched: 1 March 2020

Okay, so I love disaster movies, right.

I don't love this one as much, even though Woody Harrelson is a delight.

I think the problem with this one is that it's too grand in its scale – it's fine to watch some things be destroyed, but everything? That's a bit much. There would've been billions of deaths in this movie.

Plot:

John Cusack is a limo driver for a Russian billionaire. He's also the author of a book that flopped.

(Is this when John Cusack's career went to shit?)

Chiwetel Ejiofor is some high-up science guy who knows the world is about to end, and works with Oliver Platt, who is some high-up government guy.

So basically, the earth is fucked. The core is heating up, there's solar flares and basically shit is going to hit the fan because of some made-up science reason that I don't remember. The world's governments have commissioned these huge ships that they've been building in secret in China, and billionaires/millionaires have been buying their tickets on board and literally nobody else has been allowed to go because fuck poor people, right?

Not sure what they were doing about animals. It didn't seem like a Noah's Ark situation, but they saved the Mona Lisa, so thank god for that. I think we as a species can all rest assured that if the shit does hit the fan, the Mona Lisa will be saved.

Anyway, by total chance John Cusack goes to Yellowstone with his kids (his ex-wife is Amanda Peet) and there he meets crazy Woody Harrelson, who his spinning a yarn about the governments building spaceships and how everything is going to blow and everyone is fucked.

John Cusack writes this off as crazy-talk, but enough pieces fall into place for him to question whether something is going on – when he's randomly set upon by the government and meets Chiwetel, the only man on planet earth who has read his book, and then meeting Woody Harrelson, and then again when he takes the Russian billionaire to the airport and his obnoxious kids yell out something about getting on ships. John Cusack is like fuck me drunk, it's happening, so he heads over to Amanda Peet's house to rescue her and the kids and their stepfather, Gordon, who is SUCH A DECENT GUY and has SUCH A SHITTY ENDING.

Like, Gordon the stepfather literally SAVES THEM ALL, MULTIPLE TIMES, AND HE DIES. HE DIES.

It's bullshit.

Anyway whatever.

So Cusack gets there just in time for shit to hit the fan, and essentially California is totally and completely fucking boned, but hey, the airport where they're leaving from is still totally fine by the time they miraculously get back there – weird! – and the stepfather is a pilot so they're able to escape as California literally crumbles into the Pacific Ocean.

And I mean, everyone dies.

I don't think there's a situation where anyone survived that.

AND ALSO, nobody has been told that it's the end of days yet. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S COMING. California was just the fucking PREVIEW.

So then they need to go back to Yellowstone to get the map to the ships from Woody Harrelson, and they find him up on top of the volcano waiting for the eruption, and of course they're driving away from the volcano when it does erupt and like, I feel like that would be impossible, and also it would be impossible to then fly away from the volcano as it's erupting but WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW I'M NOT A HOLLYWOOD SCREENWRITER

Our hero, Gordon the stepfather, saves them AGAIN. I don't see JOHN CUSACK FLYING ANY PLANES

Then they fly to Vegas where shit hasn't hit the fan just yet but it's gonna, and essentially because this volcano has blown its top the ash cloud is going to spread all over the USA (so to anyone who survived California sinking into the sea, get ready for that ash cloud, she's a beauty) and fuck literally everyone up. At the Vegas airport they find the Russian billionaire, his entourage and beg their way onto his private plane, because Gordon the stepfather, our hero, is a pilot and can co-pilot the enormous jet.

That's the only reason that they survive. Gordon. JUSTICE FOR GORDON.

(Sidenote - I wrote this weeks ago but I just had a thought - why did they even have Gordon as a character? Why didn’t they just get Cusack to do all the saving? The only reason they killed Gordon was so that Amanda Peet and John Cusack could get together in the end, but like, it doesn’t matter but still it’s just SO FUCKING STUPID anyway)

Anyway, Vegas melts down and everyone dies.

Then the President refuses to evacuate Washington and Oliver Platt takes charge.

And the cruise ship that Chiwetel's dad and BFF George Segal are on gets fucking annihilated in a tsunami, and then Japan gets totally fucking massacred as well.

Then the oceans rise over Washington and an aircraft carrier smashes into the White House and Danny Glover.

(I guess the thing that I mostly didn't understand was why the oceans rose so dramatically?)

So our hero, Gordon, and the dead weight around him need to land in Hawaii to refuel but guess what – Hawaii has been totally fucking destroyed and is a lava nightmare.

Then they're like, shit, we're going to crash into the sea, but they don't, because guess what? Something has happened and the continents have shifted and China is now CLOSER THAN IT USED TO BE

AND ALSO

CHINA IS STILL FINE

The rest of the world is completely fucking destroyed but here's China fucking LIVING IT UP, lucky thing they built the ships there!

So then they catch a lift to the ships with some locals and when they get there the Russian is like "fuck these guys, I'm only saving my sons" and peaces out with his kids, leaving his girlfriend behind. Also – the girlfriend was a decent person and she fucking dies as well.

So now they've got to sneak on board the ship but in doing so they fuck it up somehow, so when the waters rise it can't take off, or something? I wasn't really paying attention at this point. They're crawling through some gears and doors are closing around them and then, as if an afterthought, GORDON, OUR HERO, HERO OF OUR HEARTS AND MINDS, JUST DIES

LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

LIKE HE DIDN'T SPEND THE WHOLE MOVIE SAVING EVERYONE

HE IS CRUSHED TO DEATH IN SOME GIANT GEARS LIKE HE MEANT NOTHING

Honestly this movie is so cruel to poor Gordon.

The Russian billionaire dies but saves his kids, and they end up letting on the workers who helped build the ships after Chiwetel throws an epic hissy fit about it, and then John Cusack has to sacrifice himself to undo the thing they did to fuck up the ship and he holds his breath for an extremely unbelievable length of time. I mean, John Cusack is just a regular guy in this movie, he's not Tom Cruise levels of insanity, so the fact that he is able to hold his breath for literally minutes is astonishing.

Anyway, after nearly crashing into Mt Everest – that pesky Mt Everest, always getting in the way (also the seas have risen so much that only the top of Mt Everest is peaking out – HOW – do you reckon whales were wondering wtf was going on?) – they manage to escape and everyone on the ships survives.

But wait! It turns out that Africa has also survived mostly unscathed – aren't there volcanoes in Africa? – and so they're going to go start fresh there. In Africa. Because of course.

JUSTICE FOR GORDON.

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scifinal · 4 years

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DW s12e10: It's Quite Unfortunate That This Child Keeps On Regenerating

It's only fitting that the first post on a blog called "SciFinal" should be about a season finale.

Not that fitting is the fact that in said post I'm going to begin where it all started for me.

Part One: How I Even Got into This Mess of a Show in the First Place

While I call myself a huge Doctor Who fan, even a – *gasp* – Whovian, I must admit I am not as familiar with the franchise as I would like to be; I've seen the new show, I've seen Torchwood (though, admittedly, I had to force myself to finish the fourth season – but that's a story for another day), I've listened to a handful of audio dramas (including Kaldor City, which I consider to be canon for both DW and Blake's 7) – mostly Torchwood audio dramas, but who cares, – I've read a couple of comics, I've got a novel or two somewhere on my bookshelf, I've seen the first couple of seasons of the classic show, but that's about it. I can't say I grew up with it – it wasn't on TV when I was a kid, there isn't an official Ukrainian dub, et cetera, et cetera. I first heard about it when I was about thirteen, when my classmate did a project about something they liked – and was pretty dismissive of my peers' hobbies at the time, believing myself to be somewhat above them, so I didn't pay much attention.

Then somebody finally pressured me into watching it (I believe I was fifteen or something back then) and I loved it. The first two episodes of the first season, I mean. I watched those, texted my friend something like "consider me a Whovian now!" and abandoned the show completely only to return to it maybe several years later.

I loved it. This time, for real.

Doctor Who has been with me ever since that time, it has a big soft spot reserved for each and every Doctor ever in my heart, and for each and every companion. I know full well it's cheesy, and it's stupid, and it's technobabble-y, and it's glorious in all of its cheesy technobabble-y stupidity.

And I hate this finale.

Part Two: Doctor, Why

I hate this finale – because I hate Chris Chibnall. Mind you, not the gentleman himself (I don't even know what he looks like, and I can't be bothered to Google), I hate what he did to Doctor Who.

Now, when it was revealed that the would replace Steven Moffat I felt... nothing. What did you expect? I had no idea who the man was. I know now he's made Broadchurch, and I know he wrote a bunch of stuff for Torchwood back in the day, including Cyberwoman. I had to drop Broadchurch because of how well-handled the depressing atmosphere was, and I love the flawed, dumb, sexy-cyber-bikinied, almost-fifteen-minutes-of-Ianto's-whining-including (I know because some time ago I literally cut almost every single moment of Gareth David-Lloyd whimpering, moaning, groaning, screaming, and mugging at the camera out of the episode and made those bits and pieces into a beautiful clip show called "I HATE THIS" to explain exactly why his face was and still is so punchable) mindless fun that is Cyberwoman (this is also one of the two episodes in which they actually do something fun with the pterodactyl living inside Torchwood's underground base). The latter also led to the creation of one amazing in how it develops Ianto's character audio drama entitled "Broken". I love Broken. I am now forcing you to look at its cover because of how much I love it.

Here we go. Now, back to the point of me rambling pointlessly

In his video "Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here's Why", a well-known YouTuber hbomberguy pointed out how Steven Moffat's problem is that he is more than capable of writing a good one-off episodes, but ultimately fails at managing multiple complex, overarching stories, as visible when you look at the difference between Moffat's individual episodes and his run on the show.

Now, I believe that Chris Chibnall suffers from the same affliction: he's a good screenwriter but a terrible, terrible showrunner. Sure, he's made Broadchurch, but Broadchurch, in its essence, was a complete singular story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. There were no bigger, incomplete arcs expanding at the expense of other episodes, and the show did exactly what it was originally designed to do: it told an uninterrupted story.

Here comes Chris Chibnall's run on Doctor Who.

Now, while Steven Moffat was ultimately not very good at managing overarching stories, he tried to do so nonetheless, and the fans seemed to like his attempts. And while I can't be sure as to whether it was Chris' original vision for the show or he and his co-writers were merely trying to emulate Moffat, he attempted the same. A friend of mine has even pointed out how, to her, it was painfully obvious how the writers of the finale were desperately trying to copy Moffat's style (to give you some context, she grasped it from a 30-second clip of the CyberMasters' reveal, and that clip basically consisted of me filming my laptop's screen and laughing at their design, making the video wobbly and the audio distorted). At the time of writing this post this friend hasn't seen a single episode of Chibnall's era and, as far as I know, has no wish to do so – mainly because of two reasons that both have something to do with the finale:

Somebody's already spoiled it for her, so who cares;

I ranted to her about how shit this finale is and now she hates everything about Chibnall era.

I am very sorry for the latter, since I genuinely believe there are some nice episodes in these seasons, and I especially like the "historical" ones, they really are quite a lot of fun, I like Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fighting badly CG-ed alien scorpions, I love Lord Byron and Mary Shelley running around a haunted house trying to escape from a Cyberman (even though it's all too similar to the Agatha Christie episode from Russel T Davies' run), I adore that episode about Rosa P–– oh, wait, no, that one was crap and ripped off Blake's 7... Anyway, I love Jodie Whittaker's Doctor, I am a big fan of Graham, I like Ryan just fine, and I can put up with Yaz, even though it's been two seasons and I've still got no idea what's her personality supposed to be, and I absolutely love the new Master (he reminds me of a cute little pug with a big Tommy gun). There is plenty of good stuff in these two seasons, they are lots of fun to watch, but this finale... Oh god, this finale.

Part Three: We Had All of Time and Space at Our Fingertips and We Ended Up with This

We are getting to the point of this whole thing. I would love to begin with the obvious, the twist, but there's so much wrong with this who-cares-how-many-parter than this one big thing.

It is inept. It is impotent. It is incompetent. It is bad at almost everything except its okay camera work, somewhat good (for a British TV show, I mean) effects, and its really solid performances.

Its editing is tone-deaf to the extreme. There is a moment in the final episode where Ko Sharmas asks who will be the first to cross the Boundary and step into the unknown, and immediately it cuts to Yaz walking towards it, all fast and silent. I would love to show you a clip of it, but I don't have one and I can't force myself to download the episode and sit through this shitshow again just to present you with a ten-second clip. Nonetheless, that part is not edited like a dramatic moment. You edit comedies this way. Bad comedies. Bad editors edit bad comedies this way.

Its plot is incoherent. There are several plot threads in this finale, and they're managed in a way that doesn't make the viewer care about all of them at the same time, rather the viewer goes "oh, I've completely forgotten this was happening" and then, before they can even begin to care, the show cuts to something else. It's all over the place and oh so annoying.

The plot armour is painfully obvious despite every attempt to disguise it. There wasn't a single, solitary second when I believed the Doctor was really going to sacrifice herself and, lo and behold, here comes the old guy ex machina to do it for her. The only questions I was asking at that moment were "How are the writers going to prevent the Doctor's death now that they've seemingly created themselves a way to go on forever?" and "How can Whittaker care so much about her performance in this scene she's literally almost crying?". I wholeheartedly related to the Master asking "So why are we still here?" and shout–– hiss–– mumbl–– whatever-ing "Come on, come on, come on!" – at that point I've suffered through at least forty-five minutes of utter nonsense, people going preachy, religious Cybermen with Dalek motivations, that absolutely ludicrous scene in the previous episode when the show was trying its worst to make me perceive autonomous flying Cyber-heads with laser eyes as a serious threat, a shit twist and... Oh.

I've got to finally touch on the shit twist, haven't I?

It doesn't make sense. No, I mean it. I guess it makes sense from the show's writers' standpoint to retcon everything in a way that would allow them to go on forever without having to come up with a way to circumvent limited regenerations, yes. And I won't be touching upon all the lore people say this twist has ruined. No. It doesn't make sense as it is.

The twist is revealed to us by a madman that claims to have hacked into a database, claims to possess control over the Doctor's mind, and gives the Doctor and the audience no actual solid proof that the Timeless Child is, indeed, the Doctor. We have Ruth, sure, and she's nice enough (damn, I want that vest), and she's a Timelord that happens to own a TARDIS that looks like a blue police telephone box, and she calls herself the Doctor. Here's Ruth:

I really like Ruth. She also makes no sense from the show's timeline standpoint, since the Doctor's Type 40 TARDIS only got stuck looking like a police box in 1963, so there's no reason for the Doctor to not remember being her.

We also know that the Judoon have identified Ruth as "the Fugitive"... except in one of their previous appearances in the show they weren't able to identify their targets exactly and thus were seeking out non-humans. There is a possibility that they were only looking for a Time Lord on Earth.

You know what? It's possible that Ruth is actually the Master messing with the Doctor. I have just as much proof of this as I have of the fact that the Doctor is some kind of an endlessly regenerating superbeing.

But this is not the most maddening thing here. I loathe it, but I don't loathe the twist itself: I loathe its lifelessness, I loathe how empty, how unemotional, almost robotic it feels. When somebody'd spoiled the finale for me, I got angry, and I started asking questions, and when later I saw the actual thing...

This gif. I can't even explain how accurate it is. I stood there, in the middle of my kitchen, episode paused, holding a cup of cold tea and desperately looking around as if in my surroundings I could somehow find that emotional reaction that this show failed to evoke. I was ready to burst into tears of how empty it felt, and how empty I felt, and how the same show that has Christopher Eccleston go from literally foaming at the mouth with pure hatred to shocked silence in a matter of second because of one sentence that you, a viewer, can't help but be astonished by failed to make me feel the tiniest speck of literally any emotion. And slowly, I felt that vast void in my chest fill with sheer, pure, flaming hatred for the person who made me feel nothing, for the story that left me not bored – but empty.

And the next moment, in its own unique way of being absolutely tone-deaf, the show introduces the CyberMasters, looking ridiculous, being asinine in concept, making me burst into laughter with their dumb design. Wow.

So.

Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who is no longer a show. Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who isn't even, as somebody on Stardust said, a fan fiction. It's a rollercoaster. A lackluster rollercoaster that lifts you from the vast caverns of frozen hell, devoid of any life whatsoever, soulless and abandoned, to the heavenly torture of being so bad, so utterly awful and ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh as you watch something you used to love be distorted and deformed to the point where you can't recognise it anymore nor really care. This is what Chris Chibnall's Doctor Who has become. And I'm going to continue my ride on that grotesque rollercoaster. I'm going to pirate that ride and get on it again. Because I'm a masochist. Because I want to feel something, even if it's hatred towards those that make me feel nothing.

Because some time ago my fifteen-year-old self watched the first season and learned a lesson that I hold dear after all these years – that I can't abandon hope, and that someday, somehow, things are going to get better. That the future is being written right now. That the future can change.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #doctor who review #i hate this #review #sci fi

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twiststreet · 5 years

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I read the year’s big (biggest?) industrial-comics debut Undiscovered Country, which is the “hotly anticipated” team-up of Scott Snyder (who I’d only read maybe 3 or 4 comics from before since he writes for DC and I don’t read those) and my colleague in the law Charles Soule, Esq. (who I’ve never read before because his books sounded boring). They join a pretty A+ team on the visual side of Guiseppe Camuncoli (who I’ve really liked for years), Daniel Orlandini, Matt Wilson, and also letters from Crank! Crank! is on the team, guys! Jason Statham’s heart is going to explode unless he letters this TV pitch masquerading as a comic, and then has sex with the girl from Road Trip somewhere that’s demeaning to her...

Anyways, there’s a comic they could make here, but it’s a TV pitch instead. There’s a dozen indistinguishable people in this book, none of whom emerge successfully as characters. All of the pages look kinda like this image, of just people in a room talking to one another instead of... visual storytelling happening... in a comic book? And then a premise is presented, but the comic’s constantly time-hopping so it doesn’t really unfold in a way that for me felt dramatic or satisfying. And then it ends on a Brian Vaughan-style one-page splash of a character going “Huh? Huuuuuuuh?”

That said, there’s a comic here that could’ve been made with this idea, and if they made a TV show I’d watch it, if it was on Netflix, and it was a Korean soap opera called “A Doctor’s Love Song in the Rain.” It’s a good premise--it’s very much them doing a 60′s post-Trek sci-fi show except updated-- stuff like Lost in Space or Land of the Lost, but set in a post-apocalyptic America. I like the idea of a show like that-- I liked how big and broad those shows would get, Lost in Space especially. (I never saw the Time Tunnel). So, yeah, I guess the comic succeeds in its only noticeable goal-- I’d watch the TV show.

It’s the kind of the comic where the first page is just four panels slowly zooming in on a helicopter...? Check out another exciting image from these guys with an immense amount of visual storytelling experience:

Most of the comic is built out of double-page spreads, so if you’re a digital reader, you might want to actively avoid it. I’m more of a single-page guy, but they use the technique well, I suppose. Camuncoli’s pages are never confusing for me, though there’s a double-page splash of all the bad guys that I don’t think is successful because they insist on a wide view of things the way a TV camera would, rather than finding a point of view that’s actually dramatic and tells a story, the way a comic book would. And Wilson does this really gorgeous pink smoke in the book, with a texture on top of it-- I was into how he colored the smoke. And boy, Jason Statham sure had to put a lot of lettering onto those pages-- those guys sure didn’t team up with someone who’d edit them! So I mean, Jason Statham got the job done on the lettering-- but of course he did, Jason Statham “swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer.”

They put a McGuffin time-bomb under the premise, to keep the plot motivated, and they give at least one character a clear motivation relating to that time bomb. They give another character a relationship with her and create some fake-y “mystery” around that character to play out later. If you’re learning like Screenwriting 101, they’re doing Screenwriting 101 so you could probably find things to appreciate. You can read this comic alongside Save the Cat or whatever, and good luck with your career. It’s a commercial product and they’re hitting some kind of beat sheet successfully.

Or I can imagine this someday being a kind of fun Sunday afternoon comic to go through a few dozen of, mindlessly-- I suspect it’s pleasures will accrete slowly, but be at least somewhat there for that future Sunday reader, in a way that isn’t true for the first issue on its own, which offers no noticeable pleasure.

But: the most fascinating thing about this comic was the back matter though, a strange celebration of the military-industrial complex. This comic was apparently inspired by members of the CIA and DARPA...??

The military industrial complex obviously has had a long history of infiltrating and promoting themselves through other artforms (obviously video games; the creation of modern art; I love Michael Bay movies, and I know what I’ve watched, etc.). And they’ve obviously made overtures in recent years to comics-- Marvel and its relationship with Raytheon.

And I’m... I’m a little more ambivalent about the military and everything than some people online about all that because I’m not kneejerk anti-military, though I mean... the CIA’s a big ask, especially with the world events of this last week. I’ve had friends who aren’t alive though because they wanted to do something for their country (it’s more complicated than that, how they died but), so I have to always keep that in mind when I talk about that stuff, however much I’m not a huge fan of various foreign policies or stupid fucking wars or our robot death fleet or whatever. I’m also kinda into just some people getting blown up. I don’t subscribe to pacificism in all contexts, which is maybe not to my credit, especially given the history of my family and my people generally.

But it’s kind of wild to get a random comic and just see the fingerprints of that so clearly. Like, they couch it in “oh our wives are friends now” this is a family friend comic, and then immediately pivot to CIA agents and their “incredible acts of service... men and women whose names will forever remain unknown but whose sacrifices will never be forgotten.” ??? Referring to like, the guy who held the hose during the water-boarding? All the Latin American dictatorships we taught torture techniques to? Whatever the hell we did in Greece? (Wikipedia: “Phillips Talbot, the U.S. ambassador in Athens, disapproved of the coup, complaining that it represented "a rape of democracy", to which John M. Maury, the CIA station chief in Athens, answered, "How can you rape a whore?"”). Like, I’m not as anti-CIA as other people-- there’s bad actors in the world. But there’s tolerating with some shame a necessary evil, and then there’s doing full-throated advertisements for it in the back of your comics...?

But just setting that aside... comics had an era where it was disregarded and it attracted counterculture people and counterculture thinking. And that era ended and then we had screenwriters and careerists. And most of the time I’ve been writing has been during that time of change-- it took me a while to understand that the gears had changed. And now with all the movies and all the success, it’s like...

Cool Cool Cool Cool, the drones that swarm the enemy at Pakistani weddings. Here’s Wikipedia: “The New America Foundation estimates that for the period 2004-2011, the non-militant fatality rate [from drones] was approximately 20%.”

This is the big comic by the big stars, and I mean, that’s a wild paragraph. Are people talking about this??? I haven’t gone and looked-- anytime I go and look, I’m always just... I mean... ooof-- but within the context of comics history... Where is the counterculture in comics now?

I mean, at the same time, Frank Miller was pretty much always a fascist and I loved him as a kid. So maybe I’m overstating things or it’s not significant because I only grew up like 10-15% fascist (it jumps to 30% in certain neighborhoods *glares at La Brea and Melrose ... I hate you Pink’s...*). And not full-blown “I’m going to spend years making a Batman graphic novel, celebrating what a racist loon I am, and then blame it on alcohol” Frank Miller fascist, but...

I just thought that shit was wild as fuck, that’s all....

Hahahahahahaha....

Comic books.

#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?

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