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onewithnomightypowers · 3 years

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clandestine (chapter 1)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

Chapter 1: too wise to trust

A/N: y/n is bisexual but not paired with a women. the characters have been aged up. the characters in no way portray how these ppl are in real life. i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like it as much is i do. if you want to be tagged them pls tell me. also comments are appreciated as they motivate me to write more and i love to know how you guys feel about the story.

warning: cursing, mention of miscarriage, mention of sex, mention of cat calling, angst. fluff?

word count: 1.4k

important: character thoughts are bold and italic, flashback is in italic

masterlist series masterlist chapter 2

She picked up her makeup bag from her vanity and started walking towards her empty suitcase which was wide open on her bed. “What time is your flight?” Haz asked while walking into their bedroom. “I think it’s at 6:30 in the evening but the car will be here to pick me up at 4”, she replied whilst folding her clothes.

“So we have at least an hour to us”; he pulled her by the waist and started kissing her neck. She tried pushing his chest away but failed miserably. “Haz, I’m not in the mood, please stop”

“Fine. But you have been saying that for months now”, he was frustrated.

She ignored his words like always.

He was right. They hadn’t had sex for at least five months now and it was starting to gain on Harrison. Their marriage, which had been ‘couple goals’ according to the internet, was now slowly falling apart. It was clear that Y/N was falling out of love but she couldn’t find grounds for it. She couldn’t reason it by making him the villain because he was a good man who, in theory, had done nothing wrong. Though, to her, it felt like he had. Maybe he didn’t love her enough or maybe all had gone astray when they had lost their baby last year.

“Will Tom be there?” his words felt like venom, entering her bloodstream.

She placed her hand on her forehead, trying to indicate that she did not want to have this conversation or the inevitable fight, again.

“Of course he will be there, he is my co-star. You should get off the internet, it’s feeding you poison”, she said in an almost nonchalant way. Trying her best not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction to his name. His name, which did not mean anything to her. Tom was her colleague whom the internet liked to ship her with, but he was just a friend. Haz found it hard to believe this because the internet told him so. Their relationship was so far gone that he had no other way of knowing what was going on in her life.

His wife was so far gone. She was as distant as the sun is from the moon. The distance left coldness between them. The kind of cold that you feel when you pass a stranger. She was a stranger to him and the only reason he could think of was that she and Tom were having an affair. This was not true, but the ache in his soul found comfort in painting Tom as the villain.

“I don’t believe you”, Haz spat out.

She threw her heels inside the suitcase in anger. “What do you not believe? That Tom is my co-star? Is that what you don’t believe?” her voice was louder than before.

“I don’t trust him.” Haz matched her voice.

“Do you trust me?”

Trust? Her? How can I trust a stranger?

It was his turn to ignore her.

She zipped her bag, put on her shoes, and left the room. “Fuck you”, she cried before slamming their apartment door and leaving for London.

Y/N had first met Tom at a cast and crew dinner in New York, six months ago. Greta, the director, had invited both her and Haz but he had decided to opt-out of the ‘fancy’ dinner. Y/N was excited to meet her new co-stars and mark the starting of a new project, a new phase in her life.

It was cold in New York, she figured she shouldn’t wear a dress. She put on black stockings underneath blue bell-bottoms to keep her warm. She wore a dark grey American Eagles t-shirt and over that, a tan leather trench coat. She liked commuting via subway because she believed ‘nobody gives two shits about who is sitting next to them on the train’; and a town car was much slower, especially when it had been snowing. She stuffed her heels in her purse and wore her commuting shoes.

Tribeca to West Village was a good ten minutes train. Her travel was mostly uninterrupted except for the catcalls which felt like the usual to a native. Just before ringing Greta’s doorbell, she got out of her Converse and wore her heels.

Y/N entered a packed house. Almost everyone was there and she was late. But someone was to arrive even later than her. She examined the room, everyone was mingling with each other. She didn’t know anybody there except Noah Baumbach from the time she auditioned for ‘marriage story’. She didn’t get the part but still loved the movie. She realized Tom was missing.

Greta pulled her into a conversation about when the production of the movie would start or something like that. She wasn’t really paying attention. She was so eager to meet Tom that her eyes couldn’t stop roaming around the room, trying to find him, and just when she thought he wouldn’t show up, he did.

Everybody’s head turned towards him when he entered the living room. It was as if every person in the room wanted him, including her. His dark brown hair, falling into place like a domino, had snowflakes in them.

“Excuse me”, Greta gave a small smile to Y/N and walked over to Tom. She greeted him and politely touched his back. “Now that everyone is here we should take the party to the dining hall”, she said in a loud and cheerful tone.

Following Greta, everyone started moving towards the dining hall. Tom sat right across Y/N on the grand dining table. “Hi, I’m Tom”, he introduced himself in his thick British accent. “And he’s English”, Y/N said, adding to her list of things she found captivating about Tom.

“And?” Tom gave her a confused look.

Shit. I said it out loud.

“I-I mean hi, I’m Y/N”, she tried to cover up her mistake.

His dark brown eyes on her, made her thoughts run wild. It was wrong enough to feel right. The dinner was served and small groups of conversations were taking place. Somehow the whole table took on the topic of bisexuality. Y/N felt obligated to take part in the conversation, being part of the community herself.

“I think bisexuality is a gateway to being gay”, Tom said to the whole table.

“You’re being bi-phobic, Tom”, Y/N called him out. All eyes were on her now.

“And how do you know that?” Tom asked Y/N.

“Because I am bisexual, and any decent human being would know that”

“Are you calling me indecent?”

“No, I’m calling you bi-phobic”

“But aren’t you married to a guy?”

“That doesn’t change my sexual orientation, and you’re being bi-phobic. Again.” There was silence, everyone was listening carefully.

“Okay, so please explain to me how I’m being bi-phobic?”

“Just the fact that you believe bisexuality is a gateway to being gay and me being married to a guy, means my bisexual card has been revoked, portray your biphobia”

“I am a little confused”, Tom said while reaching for his wine glass.

“Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both men as well as women. It isn’t a gateway to being gay, it is a legit sexuality of its own”,

“Hmm, I suppose I stand corrected. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone. I will go home, do the research and try to be more open-minded”, said Tom, smiling.

“Good”, Y/N said, feeling accomplished and impressed by Tom’s ability to accept his mistake.

Haz would have never accepted that he was wrong.

Y/N felt wonderstruck. Blushing all the way home. She hoped Tom knew how enchanting it was for her to meet him. She wondered if someone was waiting for him at home, like someone was waiting for her. She wasn’t quite sure whether Haz was waiting for her to reach home or not.

She reached home to an empty bed. Not knowing what to make of it, she got ready to sleep. 2 AM and Haz was still not home. She didn’t try to reach him because she knew all phone calls would go straight to voice message and all messages would go unreplied. She closed her eyes, feeling indifferent towards Haz. Even in her sleep, her mind echoed Tom’s name. She was unaware of the treacherous road ahead of her. And that gave her comfort. His thought gave her comfort.

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babyflossy · 4 years

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exposed | p.js

pairing: jisung x reader

requested: i’m working on loads of request atm but when i saw this i had to write it straight away lmao

summary: when dispatch reveals your secret realtionship with jisung to the public, the fans aren’t the only ones surprised.

warnings/genre: unedited, kinda just self-indulgent fluff, lots of words, not much happens

word count: 1.7k

a hand on your shoulder breaks you from your slumber, words already being spoken at you. in your sleepy haze, they floated straight through your head, mind still groggy from being woken up so suddenly. as soon as you recognise the voice as your manager’s, your eyes snap open, meeting equally wide ones over the head of your manager. haemee, your leader, shoots you an apologetic look, something unsettling for so early in the morning.

“what happened?” the words are quiet and tired and your manager sighs in pity, handing over their phone. your eyes squint in response to the brightness, stomach dropping when your eyes finally focus on the news article.

BREAKING; DISPATCH REVEALS UQS’ Y/N AND NCT’S JISUNG ARE DATING.

the title is accompanied by three photos; one of you at a fansign, smiling at a fan, one of jisung waving at a camera in the airport, and then a blurring photo of two figures walking hand in hand through a park at night. the park you and jisung had visited two weeks ago.

“there’s a meeting at the company. can you get ready quickly, please?” despite the ‘scandal’ and the stress your manager was most likely under, she shoots you a comforting smile and ruffles your hair before leaving, phone already ringing.

as soon as you and haemee are left alone you reach for your phone, feeling the bed dip as she sits beside you. she rests a hand on your shoulder, rubbing her fingers down your back soothingly. your lockscreen in full of text messages. you thumb through them, seeing many from jisung, along with the other nct members you were close with. you ignored them all, only searching for the ones from your boyfriend.

jisungie <3: have you seen it yet?

jisungie <3: call me when you see this

jisungie <3: are you okay?

jisungie <3: i know you didn’t want ppl to find out like this

jisungie <3: let me know you’re okay plzzz x

“it’s gonna be fine, you know?” haemee’s hands abandon your shoulder and take your phone out of your grasp, tipping your chin so she can look at you. there’s still a smile on her face and you’re reminded of why she’s the group’s leader instead of anyone else; always able to keep things calm. “think about all the other idols that have dated. i bet the fans were expecting this, anyway.”

that was probably correct, you knew. ever since you and jisung had starred on a dancing show in america together, your social medias were full of edits of the two of you, compilations of your interactions from the vlogs you had filmed. as jisung wasn’t fluent in english you had translated for him and done the speaking whenever you ordered food, giving the fans loads of things to include in their edits.

the show had been fun and you had kept in close contact with jisung after it ended, eventually deciding to start dating after months of pining over each other. since then, only haemee, taeyong and the company knew, although you expected chenle knew as well due to the teasing you got whenever you met jisung outside of your training hours.

when haemee left you to get ready you took your phone back, unlocking it and calling jisung as you flicked through your wardrobe, trying to find your hoodie. the call connected after the first ring, jisung’s voice echoing over the line and into your bedroom.

“are you okay?” although there was high chance you were about to be scolded for days, the worry in jisung made your heart beat just a little faster, a reluctant smile taking over your face.

“i’m fine. what about you?” spotting the lilac hoodie at the end of your closet, you pulled your sleep shirt, jisung’s shirt, over your head, replacing it with the warm softness of the purple material. you followed it with a pair of jeans, slipping a face mask on after realising there would probably be reporters outside the SM building already.

“yeah, i’m fine now. i freaked out at first, though,” he chuckled, shouts coming through from his end. “jaemin came in screaming about how he was so betrayed i didn’t tell him, i had no idea what he was talking about.”

“what’d you think is gonna happen?”

there was a pause before he spoke and you had time to grab your bag, throwing in your headphones and a spare mask along with a pair of sunglasses incase. “i’m not sure, taeyong said he’s hopeful, though. so it might not be that bad. it’s not like the company’s finding out about it, though, so it might just be press and stuff.”

“yeah, i hope so. i’ll see you in fifteen minutes i guess,” before you left the safety of your bedroom, you reached for the bucket hat hanging from the corner of your chair, pulling it over your face to hide your eyes. you looked ridiculous, like you were planning to rob a bank, but you guessed it was better than the alternative; hundreds of photos released of your sleep-deprived, drooping eyes.

no one else in the dorm is awake and you’re able to slip out the front door before haemee catched you again, taking a deep breath before heading outside to the car waiting. as it’s just you and your manager, you’re able to sit in the front seat, something you would normally be ecstatic about but due to circumstance it feels lonely and cold. not a word is spoken until the car reaches the entrance to the SM building, throngs of people with cameras waiting outside the front door.

“we’ll go in the back entrance.” you manager says with a frown, eyeing the reporters with concern. “god, it’s impossible to get any privacy nowadays.”

after security escorts you through the back door, pushing reporters out the way when they got too close, you can finally breath properly. for the most part you ignored their questions, signing the first song that comes to mind in your head to distract yourself. ironically, it’s chewing gum, and you realise with resentment it’s going to be stuck in your head throughout the meeting.

upstairs, taeyong and jisung sit on the opposite side of a glass table, two seats left open for you and your manager. their manager stands and motions for him and your manager to talk privately outside, leaving you with the two boys. you take off your hat as you sit down, pulling you mask down so you can talk properly. jisung’s tired eyes crinkle with a smile when you do, a smile you return eagerly.

for a moment you see taeyong think over what to say in his head, trying to find the right words for the situation. eventually, he settles on what your own leader had already told you. “i’m sure this will be fine,” and as if he realises how cliche his words are, he adds “in the end.”

“in the end? what’s that supposed to mean?” jisung tears his eyes away from you to look at the older boy.

“well, i mean, it’s gonna be a big deal at the start,” he states matter of factly, eyes switching between the two of you. the voice he uses is just as level and calm as the one haemee uses whenever she’s trying to sort something out, it must be a universal thing. “the press and the fans will go crazy for a bit, let alone everyone you didn’t tell.”

the reminder makes you dread going back home, knowing the rest of your members will blow this way out of proportion. you were the youngest, and they always managed to be overdramatic whenever it came to you ‘growing up’ as they had put it so many times. none of them knew you were dating jisung, and you could already picture the gloomy pouts you would get for the next few weeks.

after your managers returned, a few more staff entered, filling the last few seats and closing the door, successfully locking you in. they talked for what felt like hours, only occasionally asking you or jisung a question. they decided the easiest thing would be to just come out and admit it, allowing you and jisung a moment to disagree. you locked eyes for a moment, having a silent conversation between yourselves. you raised you eyebrows in question, taking the minuscule nod he sent your way to be the go-ahead.

“i don’t see why not,” you answered for the both of you, smiling at your manager who nodded in agreement back at you.

you don’t get a chance to say goodbye to jisung properly before you leave the building, the staff ushering you in opposite directions to get your schedules for the day started. in the car on the way back to the dorms you send him a text promising to facetime when you both have time, mentally preparing yourself for the confrontation from your members.

“you’re dating jisung?” is the first thing you hear when the front door opens, closely followed by “why didn’t you tell us?” which is swiftly followed by “i can’t believe you’re the first one to date anyone, it’s not fair.”

“that’s mean.” you smile back at the oldest, laughing at the disbelieving smiles covering their faces. “why are you guys so surprised? you didn’t think i could do it?”

“whatever, but, why didn’t you tell us?”

“in my defense, the company told us not to tell anyone.”

for the next few days, your group’s twitter was hectic. you trended on twitter for nearly a solid day, photos and edits and memes of you and jisung together filling your timeline. there were the negative comments, obviously, from jealous fans of both fandoms, some even claiming you should both be removed from your respective groups. they were easy to ignore when the positive comments and the text messages from your boyfriend outweighed them astronomically.

jisungie <3: as much as i hate to say it.. taeyong was right x

a/n: if you got this far im acc proud of you lmao i rlly dont like this but it's been a kinda mentally exhausting day for me so im gonna post anyway and edit tomorrow x

#park jisung imagines #park jisung x reader #nct imagines #nct x reader #jisung imagines #jisung x reader #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct idol au #idol!reader #nct #nct dream #park jisung fluff #jisung fluff #nct jisung imagine #jisung #nct fluff #nct dream imagine

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: not many ppl give me feedbacks these days so idk if ppl are losing interest or just busy but yea, i miss it. also, i know i normally update every other day but most likely, my next chapter will be up sunday and not saturday because i have plans! thanks!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i changed them a bit to fit the story but i hope you like it!

Chapter 31 : His chapter

NIALL

I had everything packed for days but I had hidden all my stuff in a wardrobe, in my room. Still, my eyes always moved there by themselves as if i was dreading all of this. It was like that specific wardrobe was on fire and I had simply closed the door and ignored it. I didn't want to think about being away from her.

I had spent all my time with Olivia when I was not at rehearsal but I already missed her. I had no idea how tough it would be to be away from her for weeks but I knew it was going to be bad. We often ended up at my place just to cuddle and watch tv simply because it was easier and we didn't have to always check if we were papped or recognized. We also didn't have to stop ourselves from showing each other affection which was a good thing because I knew we'd have to restrain our impulses when she'd join me on tour.

I felt her foot run up my leg under the table and put my gaze back on her, making her smile as she held her glass of wine up.

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

My lips parted and she chuckled, taking a sip of her glass. It was her third one and I grabbed my own, tilting it a bit to make the dark liquid move as I looked at it.

"I'm sorry, pet, what were you saying?" I asked, looking up in her eyes as she sent me a sad smile.

"Just that I'm jealous you're going to Ireland." she pointed out. "And without me, too."

My heart ached at the thought and I moved closed on the table, leaning my elbows on it.

"Come with me. I want to start this tour with you."

Her eyes went soft and she tilted her head on the side, glancing down at her hand before looking up at me and I just knew she was going to refuse. I could also read in her eyes that she wanted to come, and that the answer she had to give me really hurt her.

"I can't. We start filming in 2 days. I have a scenes and I have to check the text and everything." she explained before sighing. "I wish I could come, though, I miss it."

I felt something twist in my heart but I was not sure if it was because she couldn't come with me or because she was about to spend time with her ex fiance. Perhaps it was a bit of both, and when I felt her foot move up my leg under the table again, I held my breath.

"So I hate to ask but, how do you feel about playing the girlfriend of the man you were supposed to marry?" I wondered, putting my glass back on the table and leaning against my chair.

Her eyes dropped to her plate and her foot moved away from my leg. The atmosphere felt heavy suddenly and I had the feeling that she didn't expect me to ask this question. It was our last dinner together and I had made sure I cooked something she loved, turn down the lights with the dimmer, bought her fave wine and put music in the background. But I was ruining it at the moment and it bothered me.

"I didn't know when I should tell you I just..." she sighed and looked up in my eyes, tilting her head. "I texted Dylan and I'm supposed to go for dinner with him tomorrow night, after you leave."

I put my fork back in my plate and frowned, pressing my lips together. "Should I worry?"

"No. But it's important that we have a good connection.. or at least that we don't hate each other." she explained with a shrug. "I want to know how he feels, and what he wants. I mean, I'm new to this business, but I want to make things right."

I reached for her hand and she looked up. I sent her a small smile and nodded. "Hey, I get it."

She licked her lips and squeezed my fingers, holding my hand and grabbing her glass with her other one. She took a sip and finally let go of my hand. It only took a minute until I felt her foot on my leg again and this time, the left corner of my lips moved up.

"You can't help it, can you?" I joked with a chuckle.

"Nop!" she replied with a smile. "I have to always touch you."

"What are you gonna do when I'll be away mm?"

This was meant as a joke but her smile fell and she shrugged. It suddenly made me think of all the nights I'd fall asleep without her, all the morning I wouldn't wake up holding her, all the meals I'd eat without her. I grimaced and shook my head.

"I keep ruining this evening over and over, don't I?"

"No, all your questions are legit." she just said in a soft tone, tilting her head on the side. "I don't know what I'll do when we'll be away. Hold my pillow against me and pretend it's you, perhaps."

"And when you're horny?" I asked with a smirk.

"Hump my pillow and pretend it's you." she replied quickly, making me laugh.

"I don't want to go." I let out in a whisper, making her raise her eyebrows. "I mean yea, I want to go out there and do music but, I can't stand to be away from you."

She stared at me with soft eyes and let out a chuckle but there was no amusement in her tone. It sounded more like sadness, or something that came close to nostalgia.

"It's true." I added, making her shake her head.

"No I know, I was just thinking... if you had never broken up with me, I would probably had followed you, you know? So we would be together. But at the same time, I'd still be that fragile, insecure person that depends on you and, I don't want that." she admitted with a small shrug. "I like who I've become, and I love my job. I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who follows her boyfriend everywhere without having her own projects, her own life."

I held my breath and licked my lips. I knew what she meant, and I totally understood, but I didn't feel like I ever saw her as this dependent and fragile girl she was talking about. Was I just blind to it?

"I think you don't need someone who'll just follow you around. The times you were the most attracted to me were the times I didn't need you, the times I knew what I wanted, who I was and what I deserved. I mean, I know you love me because of who I am, but you were drawn to me more when I wasn't all over you."

No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't decide if she was right or wrong but if she was right, I really never did that on purpose, and I never even realized it.

"One time, when we were apart, I missed you so much and I couldn't handle it anymore. You had moved here, and I read on your web site that it was the premiere of your tv show." I admitted, shaking my head and looking down at my glass before quickly taking the last sip. "So I put clothes on, grabbed a cap, and went to the premiere."

I looked up only to see her frowning with her lips parted. I had all her attention and it made something stir in my stomach.

"I waited a few hours just to see you, and when I did, I just watched you pause for the cameras, flashes everywhere, and all that shit. You were with Dylan but I barely noticed him because you were literally glowing. I was seeing you happy. Very very happy. I remember trying to find a time where you were this happy with me. And I realized that you didn't need me anymore." I waited until she looked up in my eyes again to keep talking. "You've always been a strong and smart woman, but at that very specific moment, I knew I was not important anymore. You didn't need me, you didn't long for me anymore, and even if I tried to convince myself that you would always love me somehow, it was fucking tough."

There was a moment of a silence and she just pushed the air out of her lungs as a small smile appeared on her lips.

"That day I could swear I saw you, and... I thought I was hallucinating you. Black cap, white Nike shirt... I came to the conclusion that my mind was just playing tricks on me. I knew I was not over you but I was trying to move on and when I lost you in the crowd I decided you weren't really there." she chuckled again but her lips curled too. "It was really you."

"Yep, was me, i'm sorry."

She stared at me some more and slowly, her head tilted on the left and her lips curled more.

"You really never stopped loving me." she pointed out in a murmur, as if she was now realizing it, or believing it.

"Not a second, Olivia."

She teared up suddenly and I felt my heart break. I reached for her hands as she let tears fall down her cheeks. I didn't want this, I didn't want to make her cry, or hurt her, and here I was, doing exactly that. Again.

"I'm so sorry, Liv, please, I'm sorry." I repeated, my face twisting with pain. "Please, come here."

I pulled on her hands and she breathed in, getting up as I spread my legs to give her space. I felt the need to get her closer, to feel her body against mine and I just tapped my thigh, making her chuckle through her tears and shake her head.

"Sit down." I whispered, sending her a sad smile.

"No," she sniffed. "I'll crush you."

"Sit the fuck down."

She raised her eyebrows but her smile was still intact and she moved away to let me press my thighs together before sitting on me. One of her arms wrapped around my neck and she moved dangerously close, making my lips curl more. I could see every trait of her face, from the gold around her pupils to the little scar near her mouth from when we were kids and she fell off the stairs. She smelled amazing, the same mix of honey and vanilla I was used to, and I wrapped both my arms around her waist.

"Not too heavy?" she wondered, raising her eyebrows again and making me frown.

"Stop saying stupid things, will you?" I let out. "I know you gained weight, I know you hate it, and you need to know two things. First of, I love it. And second of, I'm a tank baby, you've never met a strong man like me."

This time, she started laughing, letting her head fall back as a long laughter boomed out of her open lips. Just watching her laugh made me happy and I let out a chuckle as I watched her. I pulled her closer and one of my hands ended on her thigh, making her look back at me.

"Be honest. Did you stop loving me, at some point?"

Her eyes roamed on my face and she moved closer again, kissing my upper lip very slowly. She was so soft and gentle all the time and I missed that in my life. I missed her touch and how tender and loving she was, especially with me. When she was not in my life anymore, all I could think about was that I missed her, but I also missed everything she did, everything she said, everything she was. It's the little things I missed the most and those things, she was giving them back to me. Slowly, and by little waves, but I was still getting samples from time to time. I was greedy, though, I wanted all of them, and right now, but I would wait for her. A lifetime or two, no doubt. Maybe even three.

"I hated you." she admitted in a murmur, her lips brushing against mine. I felt my heart shatter and swallowed a lump in my throat. "I hated you, I cursed you, I wished you wrong. I complained about you, I bitched about you, I cried and yelled about you."

I blinked a few times, trying to keep my emotions in. Even if I couldn't blame her, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach and was twisting it with each of her words. I kept quiet. I couldn't talk anyway, and she kept going.

"But not one second, I stopped loving you." she whispered, bringing her hand to my cheek and running her fingertips on my stubble before slipping them in my hair. "I've been in love with you for 20 years, Niall. I think after all this time, falling out of love is impossible. There's a point you reach that you just know, deep inside, that the love you feel is there to stay. I've reached that point. A long time ago."

"But you hated me." I argued in a breath before she sighed.

"Trust me, it's possible to hate and love someone at the same time. I hated you because I loved you so much."

I didn't even know if it made sense but I just nodded.

"I don't hate you now, Niall. I feel many many things for you but nothing negative, I promise."

She kissed my lips again and tugged at my hair very gently as her mouth traveled on my lips and jaw. I remained motionless, my hand burning on her thigh while she showed me affection, and with the way her hands and lips moved on me, I knew she was not lying. There was something special and unique in the softness of her touch that talked louder than a voice could, that explained better than words would.

It took me a few minutes to react but a bit roughly, I brought my hands to cup her face and kissed her harder. Her lips parted more to deepen the kiss and I moved closer to her, my hands now running on her back and her arms before I let one of my hands slip under her shirt. I wanted her so bad and it was so sudden that I could feel my whole body throb.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, petal." I admitted low, allowing my lips to leave her briefly before crushing my mouth on hers again. "Let me make love to you, yea?"

I got up, making her do the same, and grabbed her waist, turning her around and pressing her against the windows behind her. I let my mouth move avidly to her neck as I started breathing harder. She took her shirt off and I did the same with mine, throwing it away before pressing my body against hers. One of her hands reached for my cock and she grabbed it over my pants as my lips moved to her breasts. I moved her straps down and pulled on her bra to expose her nipples and my lips wrapped around one immediately. I sucked on it, making her whimper low and finally let my mouth brush down to her stomach until I reached her pants, unzipping them quickly and helping her take them off. She stood there, only in her underwear, and I pulled the side of her panties away to press my lips against her pussy.

"Oh my god."

I grabbed one of her legs and moved it up, putting it on my back to hold it, and spread her lips more before slipping my tongue down on her slit until it was inside her and bringing it back up to her clit. I sucked on it for a while and felt her fingers pull on my hair. I got the hint and moved back up, unzipping my pants too and getting undressed as she stared at me, lips parted. I moved closer to her, feeling my dick rub on her thighs and she moved her leg around me again. I ground my hips against her a few times and when I felt my tip slip inside her, I let out a short groan.

"I want to make love to you, not fuck you for 5 stupid minutes and cum."

She laughed and smiled as I looked at her. She tilted her chin up to look in my eyes better and I searched for her hands, grabbing them and bringing them on the walls, on each sides of her head. She held them there and I slid my fingertips on the inside of her arms before reaching her palms and intertwining out fingers together. I pushed myself a bit deeper inside of her and she let out a low whimper, her eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you so much." I whispered. "I promise you'll never have to hate me. Ever again."

She nodded quickly and bit her bottom lip. "Okay."

I pushed myself completely inside her and felt my eyes flutter at the feeling.

"You feel incredible."

I brought my face closer and started thrusting in and out of her slowly but at a regular pace. My lips brushed against hers with every jerk and I didn't let go of her fingers. I felt her squeeze my hands harder and from time to time, she'd kiss my lips as I moved, or would let out a low moan.

"I love you. I love you, Olivia."

Her face twisted and I could swear she was about to cry. I pushed my body against hers more and kissed her lips a few times before kissing her deeper but still very slow. I didn't want her to cry, I wanted her to cum.

"N-Niall." she breathed out before I pulled away slightly and saw her shut her eyes tight. "Oh my god, I'm cum-"

She couldn't finish her sentence and started shaking between me and the window. I kept moving in and out of her but watching her get an orgasm made me reach mine and I leaned my forehead against hers as I came inside her, squeezing her hands maybe a bit too tight.

We were both a panting mess when we were done but we still remained motionless, our bodies pressed together, my forehead leaning against hers and our fingers intertwined on each side of her head.

"I love you too, Niall."

I smiled at her words and finally moved away and told her I'd be right back. When I got out of the bathroom, I had put sweatpants on and she was now wearing my shirt along with her panties, which I believed was her best outfit. The music was still playing in the living room and I extended my hand to her and raised my eyebrows.

"You wanna dance?"

"Here?" she smiled. "In your living room?"

I didn't answer but she just licked her lips and put her hand in mine. I made her twirl around and she giggled before I pulled her closer the same way I had at the wedding but for some obvious reason, it felt way more intimate. She leaned her head on my shoulder and it made me suddenly very happy.

I had found a radio station that only played music from the 90's and I knew it would make her happy. A slow song started and she chuckled as I pulled her closer.

"I love that song."

It took me a few seconds to remember that it was a Savage Garden song and when the lyrics said 'I love you more with every breath' I felt her lips on my neck, brushing up to my ear.

"I love you, Niall." she repeated. "I wish you wouldn't have to leave."

"Me too, petal, me too."

---

The next day, we were both numb and sad and we did everything mechanically, stealing a few kisses from time to time as we walked by each other while getting prepared. I wanted her to come with me to the airport but I knew she wouldn't and I didn't insist. My bags were out of the wardrobe and were now waiting for me near the door, taunting me and making my heart break every single time I saw them.

"Okay, you got your passport?" she asked, standing in front of me.

I nodded and she did the same.

"Phone? Both of them?"

"Yea, I do."

She stared at me with teary eyes but still managed to send me a smile. I breathed in and out loudly and was about to pull her close in a hug when she reached for her ear, making me frown. She took one of her earrings off and handed it to me, her head tilting on the right. I remained motionless and she raised her eyebrows, moving her hand a bit closer to me.

"You still got your ear pierced, right?"

"It's your grandma's, I can't accept it I mean, what If I lose it?"

"Then don't lose it." she just argued, taking a step closer to me before putting it in my ear and locking it.

I closed my eyes and breathed her perfume in. When she was done, I wrapped my arm around her waist and kept her close to me.

"Thank you." I whispered, burring my face in her neck.

"Every time you see it, you promise you'll think about me?" she asked, gripping the front of my shirt in her fist.

"I promise. But I'll already be thinking about you." I pointed out, making her chuckle low.

She pulled away after a while and her smile grew when she saw it on my ear. "Now we match!" she giggled this time, making me laugh a bit and shake my head.

"You’re ridiculously perfect." I pointed out, pulling her closer again and wrapping my arms around her neck this time. Her arms slithered around my waist and I kissed her head, squeezing her tight against me.

"Oh! I have something else for you!"

She got out of my embrace and rushed to the room as I shook my head. It was totally her kind to forget about something she wanted to give me until last minute and it was almost a miracle that she didn't completely forget about it. She came back, jogging to me, and handed me a box. I frowned and looked up at her only to see her biting her bottom lip, eyebrows raised.

"What it is?"

"Short letters." she explained, licking her lips nervously. "I wrote one for every show you have. The name of the place and the date is written on each envelop. You can not open them before. You have to open each envelop right before you go on stage for every show. Not 30 minutes before, not in-between two songs or later when you're at your hotel. You get your guitar, open the letter, read it, and then immediately go on stage. You think you can do that?"

I pushed the air out of my lungs as my lips curled but remained parted. I opened the box only to see a bunch of envelops of different colors waiting for me inside and when I looked up, she was smiling wide, probably because of my reaction.

"That's... fuck, Liv." I let out, impressed. "That's a great idea and you know what? I'm gonna film myself opening every single one of them so you know I did it right before going on stage. I'll answer your messages in videos and send them to you."

Her face illuminated and she jumped slightly, making me laugh.

"How about we make a private instagram? We can both add things there? Share a password? And make it private, of course."

I made her an amused face and laughed. "Oh, look who loves social medias all of a sudden!"

She shrugged and I could swear her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. "It's just for you and me, no one else. I mean, think of all the things we can post."

"Pretty sure nudity is not tolerated." I joked, making her raise her nose up in a cute grimace.

"Don't worry, I'll send you nudes directly in your text messages."

I moved my eyebrows and smirked, bringing my mouth on hers. "Mm, I really hope so."

We kissed gently and slowly for a while, as if it could push back my departure, and when we stopped, she kept her lips against mine and sighed.

"I'm in love with you, Niall. I'll miss you."

"I'm in love with you too, petal. I'll miss you more."

We sighed and I held her hand as we pulled away and took a step back until I was almost out of reach. She moved her upper body forward to keep holding my hand but when her fingers slipped out of mine, I saw her tear up and sniff. It was so hard to see that I just grabbed my stuff and turned around, walking out until I heard her voice again.

"Niall! Wait!"

I turned to look at her and she was crying. It broke my heart and I swallowed hard.

"Say it again. Please say it one last time before you leave."

I felt my heart break in my chest and dropped all the bags, rushing back to her and cupping her face to kiss her hard and intensely. She answered the kiss and moaned in my mouth.

"I'm in love with you." I whispered. "I'm so fucking in love with you."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam #if you still read and comment and reblog thank you ily!<

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alexisdrems · 3 years

Text

Ice I want to talk to you

I do not hate you you're not a horrible person but enough is enough

But I need to come foward

Say I'm an asshole all you want but this is the truth...

I never meant to hurt you

I jsut wanted yo try my hardest to reassure you but I was kinda off my game of comforting others that day

And I'm so sorry you misunderstood it as me trying to attack you for your depression and anxiety problems

I wouldn't ever try to purposely do that ever to you or anyone because I know it's not ok and I should know more than anybody how it feels to feel like everyone gates you and will abandon you.. So please please understand I just wanted to help but couldn't do my best that day

But the way you're responding to this isn't ok this isn't me saying " omg you're a bad person!! " this is me saying you've kinda fucked up yourself it's not bad to acknowledge you did something wrong

Yes I kinda sent you a message and made a post that doesn't solve anything but at least I'm not trying to witch hunt you like you're trying to witch hunt me from my perspective, you need to know something extremely important. Witch hunting doesn't make you better or righteous, kinda makes you an ass. And I know you felt hurt but please know I'm sorry I came off differently than intended but you also gotta known that going after someone and never leaving them be.

Doesn't make anything better

Only makes it worse

That's why people tell people not to go after and attack people even if they did something awful on purpose

Because 1. It solves literally nothing to attack ppl 2. It doesn't make you better than them at all or right depending on the situation it kinda makes you jsut as much as an asshole as they seem or you think they are.

Another thing the memes I may be realizing I feel I wasn't really reacting to them but to this whole situation

I get confrontation anxiety which is why I've been hiding from you

Because even if I'm a 16 year old I am scared of you finding and trying to attack and mock me

I can't handle confrontation I become numb and shaky and it's hard for me to face you...

You're actions have had a little impact on my trust in people.. And I'm saying this as an explanation why I keep hiding on alts

Because I am SCARED I am not a fan of confrontation but I know hiding will not solve anything either so I'm trying my hardest to solve this

I just want us to come to a civil discussion

And then finally move on from this

I wanna move on

And I want you to move on too

It's the only way foward

Ik it's hard to take me seriously because you hate me... But it was a few mistakes I made... And I'm apologizing gor the misunderstanding and my irrational decisions made from extreme stress.

I'm coming forward now because I gotta do it eventually

I have to face you and it's scary

It really is

Doing this gets you no where

It makes you seem kinda like a dick

Yes even if you feel revenge is sweet but

How would you feel

If you made mistakes and were being attacked for it? For me it's upsetting and stressful

I cant get all this off my mind... And I learned that we both need closure on this we need to move on ice we can't keep doing this

We have to put aside everything and talk it out

Because that's the mature way of doing it

Not attacking me and not me hiding

We have to talk and move on

I want to finally put it behind us

And we can move on from one another

I'm scared all you'll respond with is mocking me but I'm gonna hope you understand what I want

I want to just talk

And afterwards agree that we dont well with eachother and go our seperate ways

I just wanna see you improve I have huge hope you can change and improve yourself from someone who thinks trying to witch hunt someone is the best way to respond I know you can, we're not perfect and ik I'm way better than who I was when I was your age when faked depression and hurt innocent kind people

So I have great hope you can improve yourself too

And learn moving on is the only way to a brighter path and life in general

We have to apologize to eachother

And move on

That's the only way out

And if you ignore this.. And mock me instead... Then that were your actions not mine... I can't be held accountable for what you no liek you're not for what I do or did.

I'm sorry for a long message but I'm tired of hiding and being in fear of you

I want to try and solve this

So please if you're willing...

Come talk to me... Because that's the only way we're gonna move on

cryptics

the person who never meant to hurt you and just wants this to end and for everyone to move on

Ik you'll either continue trying to mock me...

Or maybe like I hope will come to me putting aside everything that happened and just talking civilly because that's the mature way of solving this

I am tempted to hide from confronting you and running away

But I should know...

Running away... Doesn't make the problem go away

I'm only away from it

And I think I'm ready to stand up and talk

That's all

For you to leave me alone

For us to move on from it and eachother

We don't mix ice we don't at all

So I think it's better if we go our separate ways after this if you do decide to talk to me

This is the better way to solve this

I'll be anxiously waiting to see if you see this

I truly only want to stop all this

I'm tired of this I'm done hiding its time

To Charlie btw

I don't hate you either

But you did fuck up too

Don't take this as ne saying you're horrible ppl

I'm scared you'll assume that without another word

You must acknowledge you're mistakes like I'm acknowledging my own please...

I should end it herr now this post has gotten too lengthy

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bucksbisexual · 4 years

Text

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:

[breathes in]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i’m so fucking happy with this ending

it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn

i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking

i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this

so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!

kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR

also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them

yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me

from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao

at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god

KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY

also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)

the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it

to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY

anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao

okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene

pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too

also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((

petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real

i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM

pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture

the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal

okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf

OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand

sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF

rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three

i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS

then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah

then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”

OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so

okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay

back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)

it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks

also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart

kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them

also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL

THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS

okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!

idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA

manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying

pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood

but also.. pete being possessive was h*t

there i said it and i don’t regret it

random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh

pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao

also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF

okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!

rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)

sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf

mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy

said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)

okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao

rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two

MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC

also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set

their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf

oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh

kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen

also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY

pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly

kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid

every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them

the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!

and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public

i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi

kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs

god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........

needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will

i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good

everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf

i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything

but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!

anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,

till then, stay safe ! bYE

#dark blue kiss #dbk the series #dbk #dbk reaction

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maggotmouth · 4 years

Text

hello, i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) and i almost exclusively join dark academia rps. please find below everything i have thus far on otto ballantyne, a theatre and classics student who was arranged to be married to one of the students who disappeared. i’ve honestly been itching to write otto again for months, so thanks to this lil group for giving me the opportunity. can’t wait to get my teeth stuck into him again. please bombard me with discord messages for plots. here is his pinterest.

act one: application.

THOMAS DOHERTY , CIS-MALE , HE/HIM → according to the school records , OTTO HORATIO BALLANTYNE has been attending sacred heart for the past four years . i last saw them hanging around the cliffs ; i think they were reciting shakespearean soliloquies to the wind and a weathered old skull. at twenty - three years old , otto has been studying theatre & classics and get this , i heard that he was arranged to be married to alice rosseau before her untimely disappearance , and was desperate to call off the affair — figure it’s true ? everyone around here always associates them with an aged bottle of malbec glugged carelessly at the after - show , the kind of confidence that only a private education gives , white lines of powder snorted off a marble sink with lovers you’ll later deny . in the time since these strange happenings , they have have not encountered any unexplained occurrences . ( written by nora , 24 , she/her , gmt )

act two: the muse !

ok so lemme start off by saying otto is heavily inspired by if we were villains by m l rio and the secret history by donna tartt. very serious actor. into the classical plays, but would definitely fit in a production of posh by laura wade. originally i wrote him for a murder mystery dark academia group but when the group ended i missed him so much i decided to bring him here.

born in south london, but raised in cheltenham. went to eton or harrow or one of those posh english boarding schools for boys. we love the homoeroticism of learning latin with your homies and chanting sonnets in caves by candlelight.

youngest son in his family. was fiercely competitive with his brother nathaniel growing up. having an older brother who was incredibly intelligent and successful made otto learn to treat his life like it was a fight. constantly trying to be better and ‘prove himself’.

otto’s a brat. filthy rich public school boy vibes, very riot club. champagne all over the ceiling and driving well over the limit. custom-made cuff links he loses in taverns when he rolls up his sleeves to lean on the bar. needing to know so much about a character you’re playing that it consumes you ; you can no longer tell which parts of you are otto and which parts are macbeth.

characters who have inspired him: alistair ryle in the riot club, francis abernathy in the secret history, anthony marston in and then there were none, oliver marks in if we were villains, achilles in the song of achilles, dorian gray in tpodg.

a fun fact is he is a natural blonde and spent most of his childhood that way but he now dyes it dark because he thinks that’ll give him more versatility in terms of the roles he can play. blonde ppl are usually cast as only the lover or the innocent n he wants to play villains and heroes and leading men as well.

very gay, n that’s pretty much a known thing by everyone but his family?? his family have arranged to have him married to women twice n both times its not worked out. the first time he basically drove her away with his reckless hedonism and alcoholism, and the second arranged marriage was to alice, one of the four students who went missing

archetypes: the figurehead. the challenger. the magician. the knight. the underdog.

ENTP-T / the debater personality.

theatre arts major, minoring in classics.

trigger warning for internalised homophobia / familial prejudice.

act three: the biography !

heavy is the head that wears the crown, though yours is the size of a tennis ball when you are born three weeks premature, barely formed enough to open your eyes. for those first few weeks all your parents knew were fear and love — fear that you would leave them, love that you had made it through so much, hooked up to wires like a fish in a cryogenic tank. to them your heart that learned one day to beat of its own accord was a miracle. perhaps that’s why you became their golden boy.

being born as a boy on the brink of death makes you invulnerable. you were achilles and the world couldn’t touch you for you were shielded from harm by a mother’s protective spell. should nathaniel lay so much as a finger on your skin, a voice would raise like the sound of a god from the veranda where she sat sipping her wine, play nice, boys! the sound of it thick with merlot. in every fight they took your side ; angel-headed creatures never lied. you soon learned that adults would believe anything if they liked you, that flattery will get you anywhere and to the well-trained mind, conversation was little more than a parlour game.

you harboured your mother’s beauty, the softness of her voice, the firmness of her skin and light in the corners of her smile. of your father, they’d say you inherited his wit, though that was your own — as was the golden hair that tousled your head, taken not from ambrose ballantyne but rather the bout of his three-week business trip to germany when your mother had bedded the gardener. if he knew, he never mentioned it. to believe such a fate would imply that he was not enough for her. though you noticed one day when you were nearing five and the sun was ripe on your freckle-flecked skin that the gardener had stopped coming at all. the grass, once shaven to its scalp, now grew to your knees.

at school, you learned with porridge still clinging to your mouth that the way to win over your teachers was through your smile. yours was the kind of school where the christmas play was not the nativity but rather the story of the gods, and stardom came to you in the role of apollo, sun shining from your beaming face, a bright halo of hair around your head. this was the first time you noticed a coldness in nathaniel’s eyes as your father threw you over his shoulder and your mother drenched you in praise. a bout of food-poisoning on your brother’s part rendered the italian restaurant, visited in your honour, abandoned. you never did find out if he was faking.

the room to his door remained shut after that and you learned to wile away your hours in the company of nannies and children from neighbouring castles, played at knights and rescued princesses from nearby dungeons, a tin-foil crown lopsided on your head. you learned to seek influence in the faces of those around you, how their eyes would widen as they hung like stalactites to your words. storyteller. prophet. riddler. prince. you cut your tongue into a well-kept sword and sparred with it thrice a day.

by nine you had read all of dickens novels. by eleven, all of shakespeare’s comedies — though you understood them as much as a cricket knows the meaning of the cosmos. still, it sounded rich and impressive when asked by aunties at dinner parties, what are you reading in school, otto? he finds the curriculum tiring, your mother would say, stroking a hand through your thick head of hair. otto’s just finished the merchant of venice. soon you grew to ignore your brother’s glowers at your back. your mother’s was the only smile you needed.

in cap and blazer your mother would drop you off at school, gated and turreted, the kind that was the envy of poorer neighborhood wives. when you were young, you were sure the gifts that came your way were yours alone, though as you grew older, you learned to expect them in the same way the school expected cheques from your parents. they named them benefactors, you noticed one day, on the wooden plaques fixed to the common room walls. the same plaques you would one day notice their names engraved upon in the arching hallways of sacred heart. acclaim was bought, not earned, and your success was littered with blood money.

what’s a king without a kingdom? your father surely wanted you to inherit his, though it was not in law and corporal finance that you found yourself a castle, but rather upon the stage. when red curtains split, you found you could become anything with the power of your will — boy, man, lion, snake, each of them wrung out by wordsmiths dead in their graves, a certain romance in the dusky smell of stage lights. when every eye in the room was focused on you — that was when you felt most powerful. like a piece of art, you were something to be looked at and admired — and perhaps in the absence of self-earned merit your vanity blossomed, for even if the trophies that lined your cabinets and the a-grades in columns on a sheet came from heavy pockets, your parents could never buy the sound of applause.

actors are by nature volatile. though your facade was swifter than an arrow, backstage they would call you tempestuous, bigoted, vain. still, it never left the wings of the theatre. there was a kind of reverence surrounding you that words could not taper, godliness following you from school to college, a peer admired in the practice rooms of sacred heart where you poured over chekhov and ibsen but yearned to read sophocles and euripides.

you learned to pride yourself on your looks — a sharpened jawline and a sharper tongue — and found that people would do almost anything for a beautiful face. in the beginning, alice was one so much. first colleagues, then friends, then a frequenter to the table in your family’s house. with arrogance carried in the curve of your brow, you only ever saw her as an accessory. that changed when you met her brother, let yourself stumble, brogues in a size that differed from your own kicked beneath your bed, a shirt with a larger neck size, pulled sheets, the smell of a foreign cologne.

talk travelled. it wouldn’t do to have word of your deviance spread further than the ballantyne house. while your parents would claim they were forward-thinking, more lenient than their parents had been, there was a conservative priggishness to the way they’d brush such matters under the rug, your father scarcely able to meet your eye over the dinner table. soon after, the arrangement was set with you all but exalted from the plans until alice had been informed. too late to back out, neither of you all that eager to be wed, though your families would coo when you fixed your hair or she, in keeping with the role, adjusted your tie. at first it amused you to play house with one such as alice, but soon you grew listless. like a caged beast you felt suffocated by the falseness of it all. you’d leave the dinners held by your joint households and return bedraggled, smelling of whiskey and sex. you’re not sure alice ever knew the reason why you couldn’t love her, though perhaps she suspected. at night, the names that would fall from your lips would never be hers. oliver. daniel. mason. rupert. charles.

act four: character investigation !

otto’s an extremely materialistic character who obtains pleasure through the things you can buy in life rather than that which comes to you by way of humble experience. he likes rolex watches, armani suits, louis vuitton travel bags, silk scarves imported from india. he likes to drink wine from decades gone by, where he can almost taste the funk of a victorian farmer hand pressing the grapes into a pulp, or to read a manuscript from the special collections section of the library that he knows has passed through hands which have gone on to achieve greatness. to otto, alice was always an extension of this hedonistic, pleasure-seeking attitude — she was something to be paraded like the equestrian trophies on his bookshelf, or his name on the honour roll. it’s not that he didn’t see her as a person — he’s hardly a chauvinist, although it could easily be inferred from the disdain with which he talks to some women — but rather that he saw her as someone ethereal and admirable and of high social standing who would elevate his social standing, by extension, were he to spend time with her. (this was such a convoluted sentence omg sorry)

the engagement was not his choice. even the idea of it had never crossed his mind. he had never thought to marry – marriage to otto was a tool used for financial gain — and being already wealthy, he was content to live out his days as a bachelor. he would take lovers, of course, but it would be on his own terms without the involvement of the law. alice was chosen as a match for otto because she was from a wealthy, well-liked family and the two had been friends since childhood. it seemed to their parents inevitable that they would marry, and so all that was left was the agreed arrangement between the families and the exchanging of rings. strictly speaking, if the marriage between otto and alice had gone ahead, then alice would have been nothing more than a trophy wife to otto. it would have been a miserable marriage for her, and he would have grown to resent her for it — not resent her for the fact that he could never truly be free to love someone he wanted (for he still would) but resent her, and by extension his family, for taking the option to do that openly and publicly away from him. she would always be seen as the beard, the scorned lover, the cuckold, and it would dampen any future relationships he held with the stain of that upset.

act five: wanted plots !

people who he was friends with as a child (either in london or cheltenham if anyone in this group has a muse from there) but grew apart from when he was sent to private school / they view him as entitled now and the two no longer have much in common

someone who auditioned for the same role as him, but otto got it, and they’ve resented him for it ever since ! want this bad. or put your thang down flip it and reverse it: someone who got the role otto wanted and he loathes them for it.

hasn’t really dated anyone? at college, he tends to hook up with people in a vapid sort of way? so he wouldn’t rEALly have past relationships with boys unless it was….. incredibly quiet and on the DL, literally meeting up in the woods after school to read plato and play with each others hair. suddenly realised i want this. someone give me someone he reads plato in the woods with and kisses up against tree bark because even though everyone basically KnOWS otto isn’t out n probably never will be :/

alternatively someone who he had a vapid, senseless hook up with and grew attached to :/ rude. in this house we lov angst

i guess some friends he actually likes would be cool. maybe someone who he has a hold over, because he’s quite an engaging character with good leadership qualities, like at parties he’ll be the one telling the story and gesticulating wildly and everyone’s watching him or looking to him for where they’ll go next / how the night will pan out. if he has a hold over someone maybe he has some sort of leverage whereby they’ll complete his work for him if he’s out getting drunk which he usually is. if tht sounds like ur character is naive n could be coerced, hit me up

people he knows on a very superficial and base level in the fact that their only interactions together involve doing coke off someone’s sink and stumbling home in the dark. otto’s a massive hedonist. if he were a greek god, he’d be a mix between dionysus and apollo, but he has achilles’ vanity.

#heretics:intro #heretics:ooc #throws my boy out into the wind x #hope u lov him as much as i do #sorry i will mostly be using medium gifs in his threads cos his icon resources are sparse x

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gotatext · 5 years

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by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times....

「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day.

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming…..

she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.

massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps. i hate her

isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.

not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.

old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way. little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.

likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.

super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man

her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

wanted plots

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships

girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night??

she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with

ppl who she runs track with.

someone she’s trying to make a zine with.

here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

#this is soooOoOOO fuckin long cos every time i play greta i add more shit to it..... her seventh form will just be an entire fuckin novel.#anyway call me beep me if u wanna reach me #aka pls msg me either here or on discord. my discord is linday lohan's meth8664 #wshedintro

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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@lanvinlouis THANK YOU for these beautiful truthful asks and the chance to talk more about how Jeremy Is Valid

honestly i'm h e e r e .......................................................for jeremy...like from the opening number it makes it obvious that what jeremy's after isn't really anything like popularity or coolness in and of itself, he just wants like, the chance to be okay lol....really he's like, actively suffering, and he wants whatever it is he needs to change that. it isn't that he's like, inherently jealous of popularity or coolness or whatever and he's just interested in status for the sake of his own ego, it's that he feels like whenever he's just existing and trying to get from point A to point B, he's drawing this antagonism and contempt and he can't manage to change his situation on his own. and like it's not just that school is fucked up for him b/c he's already like "everything sucks" before he's even left his bedroom at the start of the day like. he's unhappy with his whole life, and now he's basically at this point where he doesn't feel like that's going to change either thanks to or independently of his own efforts, and like, that's bad....just like, in general, when somebody feels like their life NEEDS to change but that there's no chance it will, they're pretty much having an ongoing crisis for as long as that lasts. and like yeah jeremy's dealing with all these issues and is like, taking it day by day trying to go through it like it's a routine, but not only is the "things will change eventually" in doubt for him but like also his ability to actually just tolerate it indefinitely is also in doubt, even though he's been dealing with it for a long time, the problems have probably gotten worse and more numerous and then yknow meanwhile he's probably feeling less hope about things than he might've back in say middle school and such

like, he's desperate enough to actually consider the super weird advice of the guy who bullies him i guess every day. cuz like he sings right off the bat that he wants someone to help him after his own efforts fail yet again and rich is telling him about the squip right after his lowered expectations have fallen even further and, yknow, jeremy definitely is feeling like things can't change even if he tries and that he does need some external source of help and as far as he can tell, the possibility of getting a working squip is the one chance he has...and like even though it's mentioned fairly briefly i think it's efficiently established that his parents' fairly recent divorce is really pushing him to feel even worse / more desperate for something to change things up cuz like, his mom's left and his dad's not literally absent but like, is more absent. and then also jeremy's seeing his dad as being in a similar place as he is and seeing that as evidence that yeah, things might not ever change. and jeremy wants to (tell himself he can) just move on and skip being upset and just accept it as is and his dad's not facilitating that facade and jeremy resents that a bit too

anyways yeah michael!! i know ppl have already talked abt him maybe not being very empathetic and it sure does seem to fit just fine w the material and the sorts of patterns of him engaging w jeremy.........like it definitely seems as though probably the situation he and jeremy are in is that like, they're both p much settled in to the routine of high school and the approach is to just get through the day and then they can retreat to either of their houses and hang out and have things be fine there. and i think the way michael sees it is that since he's the one who's not really stressing out about things being miserable and he's got the perspective that it's all okay since they appreciate each other and college will be way better, that means jeremy would be able to feel the same way about things if he just listened to michael and adopted that same perspective. whereas jeremy's feeling like those things aren't enough to make him feel okay, and when he complains and michael has the advice to just pretty much forget about it, that's just gonna seem like michael's not offering him anything that could actually help, because their friendship alone can't make up for everything else, and he can't tolerate two more years and knowing that things might be better then don't change what he's dealing with currently. like, i think the both of them just feel like the other just isn't listening to him lol....but like i do also think that michael sort of suspects that jeremy's really not doing so great and that his own advice is inadequate, because he does seem to understand pretty easily how/why jeremy wants to actually try to get a squip.

oh yeah and that even michael's light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel Guys Like Us Are Cool In College thing is of limited comfort because it's really just more of the same. like, that they'll still just be at the mercy of this social judgment, but when they get to college it'll happen to be in their favor. and that comes up when they fight and jeremy points this out how michael Loves To Feel Superior based on his own set of coolness standards. and, you know, speaking of what they Say with regard to how some of michael's shortcomings / weaknesses played into the squiptuation, even in mitb the lyric "but through no fault of mine" suggests more that this is defensive and he maybe does suspect that he factored into it a little bit, versus the lyric just being there to be interpreted as an objective peer-reviewed Fact in the middle of this purely emotional one-person-perspective song. it's not as though it's michael's fault or that it's a bad thing that he didn't know how to help jeremy perfectly or that because he might've been selfish in some ways he deserves to lose jeremy entirely. and tbh the stuff michael said even played into jeremy's decision to block him out / leave him behind, because of how michael's take on the problem of them being Uncool was that all they could do was embrace being losers and wait it out. so when jeremy was trying to change things, michael was set up to not only be a symbol of how things used to be, but based on the things michael always told jeremy, he's also seeing michael as a symbol of things being unable to change. and he does still care about him and all and like, doesn't even want to cut him out, but he's so convinced that his own judgment and feelings are useless that he's ignoring the fact he doesn't want to. and when he fights with michael at the party, jeremy's defensive b/c his misgivings abt his squip are kind of only making him more desperate to believe it's still okay, and also he's just in a bad place for anything much less to have an argument, and michael's kind of adding in this bitterness just about being left behind that isn't helping his other points come through as mere genuine concern. like, of course he's right to be hurt, but jeremy's also right to feel hurt by michael even if michael wasn't making the choices that led to the situation. they're mad at each other and they end up fighting once again in the play Because of the fact that they love each other and they want more than to be disappointed by the other.

and ugh yeah loser geek whatever............just kill me, every time i listen to it it's such a fuckin journey through the emotions of it all and. yknow it's like they say, it's sort of a Victorious Powerful Anthem because jeremy's definitively choosing to take action to change his life, even if he's feeling swept up in that change. but he's also only able to make that choice because he really thinks so little of himself that he's taking the self-contradictory stance of "i have to entirely stop caring about how i feel if i want to achieve my goal of Feeling Good About My Life" and deciding that yeah, his own thoughts and judgment are worthless, and he's choosing to totally accept the guidance of this entity that tells him that his life sucks because everyone sees him as disgusting and awful and they're right to feel that way about him. like he's finding it that easy to accept that he just objectively sucks and that even something so inherent as his sense of what's painful or bad is just wrong, because that's how deep his flaws run. and like yeah again he acknowledges that he's being selfish right there in the lyrics, but that's not exactly meant to be like, he's acknowledging that he's also being Evil And Wrong, because technically wanting himself to be happy is selfish, and that's not bad. he just thinks that the squip is the only way he can maybe be happy, and the only way for the squip to work is if he listens to it, and he can only listen to it if he accepts that it's right about everything including how he's horrible and he can never do things right on his own etc etc etc etc. like, he obviously didn't really expect the squip to be like "you're too gross to live" but it was really not that difficult for the squip to convince him that it was right. he hates himself a lot lol.....

also just, as something generally applicable, it's also no wonder that jeremy's often frustrated with everything and that it bleeds into stuff he says and does and the choices he makes being possibly not the most thought-through or Objective, and how can lose his patience sometimes. like he's out here with his flaws and weaknesses just like anybody else, and it's miscommunication too that's leading to Conflicts / making him feel alone

anyways sorry it took me a few days to answer that and frankly this Could be longer.......neither has anything to do with how much i like getting long messages and answering with long messages and supporting and discussing jeremy heere, b/c i like all of that A Lot, @ me about it at absolutely any time and at any length

#long post /////#bmc

25 notes · View notes

vaalinors · 6 years

Text

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E A T M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

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wannasoftimagine · 7 years

Text

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol

for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be

ANYWAYS

once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet

eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means

but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future

at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then

ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it

u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate

honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then

time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life

it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming

bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????

honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes

trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed

come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can

but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point

eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not

then ure like waaaait a second,,

n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate

which makes things much harder tbh

u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open

ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE

as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky

actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave

ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there

(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)

anyways

u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs

u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh

tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot

part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”

but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”

u settle on agreeing with the latter

at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off

u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave

thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”

even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht

all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did

after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them

u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing

anywho

u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers

u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate

afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart

u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”

but honestly ure not sure what else it could be

like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,

and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else

u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts

it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions

by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”

u dont even know what to think at tht point

but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness

ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”

and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly

“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response

“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”

and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh

“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”

all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life

“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”

u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home

still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u

“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????

“IM COMING DOWN”

okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea

when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock

just,, in case,,,,,

(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)

“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)

he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways

“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical

“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”

he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace

its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression

u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh

today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then

ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned

“are u okay?? whats wrong????”

and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them

but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face

instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH

he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”

and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit

he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”

u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs

“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”

ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever

he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon

its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen

others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!

#requested #daehwi #wanna one #wanna one imagine #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #wanna one scenario #lee daehwi #lee daehwi scenarios #lee daehwi imagine #daehwi scenarios #daehwi imagines #soulmate #soulmates

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jhmyguardiangel · 7 years

Text

Beastly Beautiful | Jeonghan | Ch.5

Genre: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life (SoL), AU!Jeonghan, Elite!Jeonghan

Word Count: 3.4k+

A/N: my angels who waited for so long, here’s ch.5! again, I’m sorry this took long, school’s been busy and i’ve finally mustered up the courage to write even though less ppl read this. It’s for you! ^^ enjoy!

Summary: Two different people, two different personalities, yet destiny brings them together.

Ch.4 || Ch.5

“I see you’ve grown into a handsome young man.”

-------

“I’m going for a swim later.” Jeonghan called out to Mr. Ryu. “Prepare my towel and shampoo.”

It was another day at the Yoon Manor and Jeonghan fully recovered from his bruises he had from a few weeks prior. Seeing him almost everyday made you more and more flustered around him. Ever since that day that he opened up to you and slowly, he was showing you more sides him you never knew he had. There were times were he would be cranky and annoying but mostly he was rather... attractive.

Jeonghan on the other hand, was gradually used to seeing you around as well. He used to be so irked out whenever he saw you, but as time passed, he found himself looking at you more. He didn’t realise how pretty you actually were, how kind you were and your patience on him was beyond this world. Sometimes he smiled unknowingly and got caught by his servants, which he immediately frowned at them and denied he was smiling at you.

“Very well Young master.” Mr Ryu bowed as he took his leave, only to be interrupted by Jeonghan once again.

“Oh and ask Y/N to join me. Bring some desserts as well.”

“Very well.”

School had been busy lately as you and Jeonghan were given more than ten essay reports by the principal. ‘Honours written essays’ was what he called it, which were all finished three days ago. The both of you pulled all-nighters in order to cease the constant messaging and flying emails from Mr. Lim. Now all that’s done, it was time to relax, so Jeonghan decided it was a good time to go for a swim.

You were snacking on the desserts that Mr. Song prepared after lunch and Mr. Ryu came in, “Miss Y/N, Young master has called for you.” he turned to his co-workers, “Everyone, we can take our break.”

You munched on the biscuits and nodded. “Noted, Mr. Ryu.”

Jeonghan wasn’t much of a sweet tooth but you recalled him saying that Mr. Song’s desserts were exceptionally delicious. He even had a bowl of choux creme profiteroles filled with strawberry cream on his working table as his treat. Though contrasted with his salty and bitter personality, you hadn’t seen his sweet side, just yet.

“President Jeonghan? Here are the desserts from Mr. Song.” you said as you placed it on the center table and walked to where the pool was. Jeonghan was no where to be seen. “Pres?”

You felt a towel wrapped on you, Jeonghan’s arms too. “I told you to call me Jeonghan.” he rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Jeonghan.” you crossed your arms with a tug on your lips. “What’s with the towel?”

“We’re going indoor swimming. Besides you’re wearing a suitable outfit and I need someone to check the temperature out.” he placed his hands on your waist and carried you.

“Jeonghan, put me down!” you said as he only laughed. Much to your continuous protests, Jeonghan didn’t seem to listen, eyes glued to the pool. “You know I can’t-”

“On three! One... Three!” he threw you to the pool while you squealed. “How’s the temperature? Is it warm enough?”

The water was warm enough, however, your ears were clogged and the pool was too deep. You panicked and vigourously moved your arms and legs, and the obvious fact was, you feared the water, because of a childhood trauma. Jeonghan didn’t know that but you wished he did. “Jeong- I can’t-” you tried to say but water kept being vacuumed up by you.

“What? It’s cold? I’m not going in then!” he continued laughing, his voice starting to be faint with you slowly to sinking into the deep.

You screamed your lungs out and you thought you pulled a muscle on your leg.

Crap, both of your legs were cramped.

Jeonghan’s laughter stopped when he realised you wouldn’t stop splashing. Then it hit him, you were about to drown. He stared stiffly before shaking his head and immediately dived in when he saw you plunged underwater slightly.

“It’s okay. I got you. Stop moving!”

You cried and coughed as he put his arms around your waist, swam up, and placed you on a chair. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know you couldn’t-”

Slap.

Jeonghan blinked. Like a slow motioned scene when a bomb went off and everything went quiet, his ears deafened and the only thing he could hear was a high pitched key.

“What the heck Jeonghan?!” you breathed heavily while you cried.

He held his cheek and slowly looked at you. To be slapped by the person he might’ve liked because he did something wrong, Jeonghan knew he deserved it. “I’m sorry, I-”

“You didn’t listen to me! I tried to stop you but still threw me!” you said loudly as more tears made their way out. “How dare you!” you stood up but your legs gave in, Jeonghan held you before you even fell.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he held you tightly in his arms, “Forgive me.”

“I was so scared.” you cried.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” he placed his lips on your forehead, hoping you would notice, but he figured you were too emotional to notice.

Little did he know, you did.

“Oh goodness gracious! What’s going on here?” Mrs. Bu came in with some colas. “Why is Miss Y/N crying?”

“My legs are cramped. Jeonghan threw me to the pool and, and--” you hiccupped.

“Young master! Do mind your manners! You threw her into the pool without caring!” Mrs. Bu scolded Jeonghan, who stood up with his blonde locks dangling in front of his eyes, guilty and pained expressions seen on his face. “Come come, Miss Y/N. I’ll attend to your pain.” she turned again to Jeonghan with a softened look. “Please reflect on how to treat a lady right, my dear.”

Jeonghan’s head boiled into anger. Just what was he thinking? He gulped on the cola left on the table and broke the glass as he threw it on the floor. Mr. Ryu approached him slowly.

“Young master, here’s your towel, and your bath is--”

“Leave it!” he sighed. “What was I thinking?! Throwing her into the pool?! She could’ve drowned and I- argh!”

Mr. Ryu bent down and patted Jeonghan on the back. “I know you didn’t mean it. You saved her on time.”

“I didn’t mean- I just wanted to have some fun.. And I ruined it.”

Mr. Ryu nodded. “You didn’t know a thing, so it’s exceptional. And pardon me for saying this, Young master..” Jeonghan looked at him as he dried his hair. “Recently, I’ve seen the way you treated Y/N. Granted, you were so mean to her before but suddenly you started to treat her rather nicely. And I’m a man of observation.” he paused.

“Mm. It’s a weird feeling. I’m actually doing a good thing” he wiped his face with his towel. “It’s just that whenever she’s around, I feel lighter, I feel... happier.” he covered his face. “Ugh, this is plain weird.”

Mr. Ryu chuckled. “And as I said earlier, with the way you treat her here at the Manor, I think you’ve fallen for her more than you think you have.”

“You’re a crazy old man! I don’t like-” Jeonghan was cut off when Mr. Ryu gave a smirk and a raised eyebrow, which earned Jeonghan a brush of pink on his cheeks then to his ears.

“Denial is the first stage of falling in love, Young master.”

Jeonghan’s lips opened but closed it immediately, he couldn’t win against Mr. Ryu. He knew him since he was little. He shook his head and smiled a little, seeing you walking slowly with Mrs. Bu to your bedroom.

“You know what? Yeah.. I think I have.”

-------

“He’s just so difficult to understand, Mrs. Bu.” you stretched, your voice annoyed at the thought of Jeonghan. “I feel like he’s the girl around here. One moment he’s in a good mood, and a second later he’s a snob. When I ask something, he ignores but when he needs something he snaps at me. Does he have period or anything?”

Mrs. Bu just laughed heartily at your complaint, massaging your cramped legs. “Well, my dear. That’s how he is. Somehow, you can’t blame him. He had been through a lot since he was a little boy.”

“For the most part, he should not put it on other people.” you crossed your arms. “He should understand people’s feelings instead of exploding negativity.”

“Understand people’s feelings or understand yours?” Mrs. Bu teasingly smiled at you.

You whipped your head to her, face pink as cherry blossoms. “No I-”

“Oh Miss Y/N, you may be the smartest lady at the university but my, my, you are too easy to read. You have taken a liking on Young master.”

You ignored her, yet you were puffing your cheeks.

“Well?”

“Maybe.”

The day went by fast and it was already dark outside. You shifted on your bed, couldn’t sleep even though the night was peaceful. All you had remembered was Jeonghan’s soft lips on your forehead, comforting your broken state. Your fingers caressed the spot where he kissed you, and little by little you feel yourself heating up.

You hit yourself with another pillow you were hugging. “Why do I feel like this when he treats me like trash?”

You quickly sat up, telling yourself that it was ‘all in your head’. You confidently nodded and closed your eyes..

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Kiss.

You opened your eyes. “Oh my goo- I need a glass of water to cool myself down.”

Carefully going down the stairs, the kitchen lights were turned on. It was probably Mr. Song giving last checks for the ingredients. You grabbed a glass and poured yourself cold water. Gosh how refreshing it was. You continued drinking while putting the jug back into the refrigerator, you closed the door to see a surprised Jeonghan, who was also drinking a glass of water and you thought he kind of choked when he found you on the other side of the refrigerator door.

“I couldn’t sleep so I came down to drink.” he broke the silence.

“Mm.” you nodded. “Me too.”

You placed your glass down in a hurry, clearly feeling awkward around him. “Well, I’m going up now, Jeonghan. Good-”

“Look I’m sorry about earlier. I just wanted to have some fun and I-”

“It’s okay,” you cut him. “I already forgave you.”

His eyes widened, “You did? When?”

“Um.”

“When?” he took a step closer.

When you kissed me, was what you wanted to say but as you looked at Jeonghan, he was staring at you with his chocolate eyes, looking more surprised than he already was. And that’s when you realised..

Ah I said it out loud.

Jeonghan quickly turned around, one hand on his hip and the other covering his face. He couldn’t believe it, you noticed his unintentional yet intentional kiss he gave you on your forehead even though how scared you were.

“Jeonghan?”

“Hm?” he turned to you. “Oh yeah. Um...”

“Good night.” you said with a smile as you headed to your bedroom.

“Yeah.. Good night.”

Jeonghan flopped onto his bed, still flushed as a tomato. He combed his hair back as he placed his forearm on his forehead. You forgave him after he did such a thing but that wasn’t his point.

“She noticed the kiss.. Jeonghan.” he told himself.

No matter how much he wanted to deny the fact he was starting to fall in love with you, he remembered Mr. Ryu’s words, and smiled as he finally admitted to himself.

“Ah, crap. I do like her.”

-------

The university’s campus slowly filled with autumn leaves and the wind gushing lightly around. It had been a month since the brawl of Jeonghan and Jang Doyoon. You’ve never heard from him since. You walked around the campus since it was again your free period. Though you wouldn’t say you weren’t that busy. You had a lot of things to do at the Yoon Manor- which was to look after the incapable Jeonghan himself, you guys made up since that pool incident.

Making your way to the Rose Garden, you felt a unfamiliar presence. Someone was in here with you, but it wasn’t Jeonghan. Was it Jang Doyoon? You didn’t know, so you kept your guard out.

“Hi there pretty lady. But not as beautiful as me.”

You jumped a little and turned around to see a young lady, around your age. She wore a white peplum dress that contrasted her black hair. She was pretty and had a good figure. You smiled awkwardly enough for her to not notice.

“Hello there, I’m-” you said.

However, it seemed like she could read through you.

“Y/F/N! I know who you are! The top female student here at Seungcheon University! You don’t have to be so awkward.” she greeted with a huge smile plastered on her face. “I’m Kang Ji-ae, a 2nd year. I just came back from the hospital due to an injury.”

“Nice to meet you, Kang Ji-ae. I hope you’re recovering well.” you bowed with a returned smile. “I don’t mean to be rude but the Rose Garden is only for the top male and female students to use.”

Ji-ae’s smile turned into a pout. “Oh.. I didn’t know that. The Rose Garden looked so pretty that I thought anyone could go in.” she smiled again, “Anyway, I’ll take my leave now. See you around, Y/N.”

You tilted your head in a confused, yet awkward look when she left the garden. “It’s stated clearly on the plaque by the gate. Anyone could see it.” you told yourself.

Marching to the cafeteria, you spotted Sejeong packing her sports bag. She had an athletic tournament coming up and was practising hard for it. You smiled when you approached her.

“Sejeong! Let’s have lunch?”

“Oh hey Y/N!” she looked up, “I’d love to but I already had lunch, I’ll be at the track ground for the whole day today. I’m sorry.”

You gave her an understanding smile, “It’s no problem, I’ll head to the Bookshelf after. Good luck on practice!”

After lunch, you made your way to the Bookshelf, you spotted Jeonghan at a corner and as usual, whenever he’s around at the Bookshelf, girls would peek on him and giggle and not actually study. Some guys were angered to Jeonghan for being around, thinking that he didn’t care about the violent battle he had with Jang Doyoon.

You called him out to talk about matters from the YDH-Tech, not noticing on the fact that some students talked about you as you were speaking with Jeonghan, you two were the top students after all, so they guessed that it was normal.

At the same time, Ji-ae was close by and was planning on studying for her science quiz. However she was distracted, seeing you talking to Jeonghan and a smile was seen on both of your faces. Irritation slightly seen on her face as she had never seen Jeonghan smile like that before, and when Jeonghan took his leave and you stayed for another hour, and waited until everyone left.

You were busy reading literature that you forgot to tell the time. When it came to reading, you were like in another world. The librarian left five minutes before you and reminded you to turn everything off before you leave. You immediately stood up to return the books when you dropped a few. A hand offered you help. You looked up to see Ji-ae.

“Thank you Ji-ae. I didn’t know you were here.” you said with a chuckle.

“Ah it’s no problem,” she stood up, “I’ll help you with these.” she smiled as she walked ahead.

Silence filled the quiet library and similarly from earlier at the Rose Garden, it was awkward. Footsteps tapped on the floor while the creaks of the night lamp you were holding swayed back and forth, creating dancing lights.

“We can leave the books right here, they’re under the same author anyway.” you chuckled as you reached for a small stool and Ji-ae handed you the books she had carried. You hopped off the stool and dusted your square pants. “Shall we take our le-”

Ji-ae slammed her hand on the shelf, an inch away from your right ear. Several books fell with the strength she put on. For a lady who had a face of a doll and skin like porcelain, what a strength she had. Her bangs hung in front of her face, her eyes stared at you with hatred, completely opposite than this morning.

“I’m gonna make this quick, Y/N. Stay away from Jeonghan.”

Your eyes widened, yet you knew something was fishy in her. “What do you mean?”

“Oh you know what I mean. You say you were to discuss YDH-Tech related stuff at his Manor that’s why you go with him after school every day, but no, no, no. You actually live with him, and the school doesn’t know a thing.”

“Mr. Lim knows, and the YDH-Tech related statement you just made is indeed true.” you answered back. “What point are you trying to make?”

Ji-ae gave you a smirk, “The point I’m trying to make is- given with the flustered approach and smile you gave Jeonghan earlier, that you’re in love with him.”

You pursed your lips, she got you. No doubt, staying at the Yoon Manor and knowing Jeonghan did get you to fall in love with him. You scanned her briefly. So she was watching you, that explained that heavy aura today when you and Jeonghan were talking.

“And what if I am?”

“Then he didn’t tell you, huh.” she clicked her tongue, “Well that’s expected.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I’m his fiancé.”

-------

Jeonghan reached the West Wing after having a short meeting with you in the Bookshelf. He had his earphones on but there weren’t any music playing, none of the genres caught his mood as we speak. He still decided to keep them on. He heard footsteps following him and even his name.

“Is that Yoon Jeonghan?” one of the young men spoke.

“So he still lives here, huh. He doesn’t even need to come to here if he just skips all the time. He could just sleep in with Y/N.” the other spoke.

“Smartest kids but dumb in bed.” the two laughed.

How did they know? It was all company-related. Jeonghan thought.

Jeonghan turned around after he entered the lift. “Yeah maybe I shouldn’t come back. But I had to since you two seemed to enjoy my dorm room, stealing a few stuff, too.” showing a photo he had in his phone of the two boys.

The two boys were taken aback. “You were eavesdropping on our conversation, how dare-”

“And the conversation happens to be about me, of course I can’t just miss it. I just love the attention.” he said in his usual sarcastic tone before holding the two boys by their necks. “Now I don’t know how you two barged into my room and I won’t even look for the things you stole. But if you dare talk something bad about Y/N and I that you don’t know the full story and spread it, consider these necks broken.”

“Sorry president! We’ll keep our mouths shut!”

“Good. You both are dismissed.”

Jeonghan watched the boys hurriedly leave the lift, and chuckled to himself.

“Me and Y/N in bed? Ha, I can’t even confess to her.” he whispered to himself.

He opened the door to his room and sensed something was wrong. For the first time in four years, he had felt this presence. Something he hated the most.

“Hello, my son.” a voice called out. A faint shiver ran through his spine as he saw someone seated on his desk armchair turn around. “I see you’ve grown into a handsome young man.”

Jeonghan stared furiously at the owner of this voice.

“Stepmother..”

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loggedonlove · 4 years

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long ask post

so i just rbed this post with questions to ask about ones s/o or crush. i rly wanna answer them all but no one on my main cares and even if they did i wouldn’t wanna spam them. but the good thing abt this blog is only like 3 ppl follow me so i can shout my adoration as much as i want and it does not matter :D so i’m just gonna answer all the questions under the cut and if anyone sees this and wants to read it, though i doubt they will, they can! (i already answered two on my main so those’ll just be copy and pasted)

1. describe them in 3 words

cute, funny, sweet

2. their favorite style of clothing?

he looks like a walking hollister ad lmao like i see his style and i just think hollister/abercrombie/zumies. lots of striped tops, dark jeans, not hoodies but like long sleeved shirts with hoods that he doesn’t ever use, converse, and many dad hats that he wears backwards

3. what mannerisms do they have?

i can’t really think of any besides the fact that he shakes a lot. he’s really skinny and he shakes when he’s either cold or nervous, or just in general

4. do they play an instrument?

he doesn’t yet but he really wants a piano keyboard for christmas that’s like the only thing he wants so that he can learn how to play

5. how did you meet/become introduced to them?

(copied from my main) this is not a long story that may become long due to my unneeded context: we have 2 classes together this fall semester, but he sits behind me in both (directly behind me in one, a few rows back in the other) so i essentially had 0 idea he existed since i just go to class to learn & ignore the people around me unless i’m spoken to. genuinely the first time i ever noticed him was a month into classes, i accidentally grabbed the wrong paper & he was like “hey celeste, this one’s yours” & i was like “oh thank you” then went abt my business. but later that same class we had been in the computer lab & as we were packing up to leave he made a comment abt how my computer’s time was different than everyone else’s so i said some dumb shit like “haha yeah i broke it” then just immediately walked away because i had a class to get to (ironically the other class i shared with him). as i learned later he had been trying to start a conversation so as i was walking to my next class he caught up with me & just continued talking. all i remember was being like “wow this dude’s persistent.” i definitely came off as rude though bc the entire time he was talking to me i kept looking at my phone bc i was logging into our textbook. it was then i found out he was in that class too, & then it took me like another week to figure out his name because i didn’t remember it from the introductions during the first week. but it all worked out because we’re dating now 🤷🏻‍♀️

6. favorite thing they’ve ever said/texted/messaged?

honestly he says the sweetest things to me all the time it’s so hard to choose. i remember before we dated though he said i looked lovely and i was just like *heart eyes*

7. what do you like doing with them?

anything, legit anything. he could call me and be like “hey wanna come watch paint dry with me” and i would be like “hell yes.” i just enjoy spending time with him. but i also really like cuddling him, i could for hours on end he’s very comfortable

8. their favorite color?

i’m not sure, i know he’s said he likes orange, yellow, and black (maybe blue too?) and apparently he’s been told he looks extra good in pink because in his words, he looks good in every color. but yeah i’m not sure of his absolute favorite

9. do they keep up to date on pop culture?

i think it just depends on if it’s something he likes. i think he keeps up to date on a lot of music because he likes a lot of popular artists i don’t pay attention to, and he likes football or at least cares about keeping up with his favorite team

10. sweetest thing they’ve done for you?

this is gonna be another unnecessarily long story. this was before we started dating, it was a thursday so that meant we had our two classes, english then stats right after that, and when stats ends he has to go to his sociology class and i get picked up by my mom. we would typically talk during the time in between english and stats, and he was telling me that he was super sick and he was going to be skipping his sociology class and that he was only going to stats because of our test. we’re in college so teachers typically just do tests at the end of the class and if you finish before class is done you get to go early. so i took my time doing my test and finished with like 30 minutes to spare and when i went to go to the door i saw he was gone and i was like oh that makes sense, he’s ill and said he wanted to go home to sleep. so i walk out to the lobby to wait for my mom (a long wait since i got out early and had no way of letting her know that, plus she’s just always late) and i see him in one of the spots i usually sit in. i was surprised but assumed he had a reason to still be there so i just started talking to him about the test but after that i was like “soooo why are you still here, did you decide you were gonna go to your next class?” and he’s like “oh no i just wanted to wait with you.” like he was just feeling terrible and could’ve went home whenever he wanted (he said he would’ve driven me home but didn’t feel like he should with how ill he was) yet he decided to wait with me for like 30 minutes for my mom even though i said he didn’t have to it was so nice :(

11/12. have you dreamed about them/have they dreamed about you?

i’ve dreamed about him a few times but the thing w mine is that i dream about things/people i think about or see a lot, so the fact that he’s on my mind and i see him nearly every day plays a role. none of my dreams make sense so it’s never anything sweet, he’s just there. he has said he’s had at least one dream about me though, and his dreams are the opposite like he said he just always has romantic dreams that make sense and i was in one :3c

13. can they dance?

every time i hang out with him he dances. like every car ride he puts on music and dances to it while driving, he’ll dance in the middle of any public place, or even when we’re just eating/laying down. it’s usually either him just moving around or fortnite dances specifically to annoy me, but it’s cute

14. what does hugging them feel like?

sosososo nice and warm and safe

15. your favorite thing about them?

i like his personality a lot, he’s really funny and nice, i don’t think it’s possible for me not to smile when he’s talking or being himself

16. their favorite thing about you?

i don’t know, he would probably say my personality too

17. best memory of you together?

another i don’t know, i’ve only been talking to him for two months so that’s not a lot of time to have a favorite memory since there’s so few. probably just the first time we kissed, i think that’s what he would say

18. what are they like when they’re tired?

not much different honestly, but he says he’s always tired so that’s probably why. when he’s tired he just says he’s tired and acts no different. according to him i’m nicer when i’m tired

19/20. could you imagine growing old together with them? could they?

god i don’t know, i’m incapable of thinking that far ahead. we’re both people who, when we date, aim for long-term so i don’t want to be like “we’ll probably only date for a year” because if i think like that it’s destined to fail but i also don’t want to be like “we’re gonna be together forever” because we’ve only known each other for two months. i prefer to just take it as it comes and not try to look forward to anything specific. we’re together for however long we’re together, i have no way of knowing that duration. it could be until next month, it could be until my death, we’ll see. i imagine he’d say the same thing

21. what would an ideal date with them be?

like i said, he could ask me to watch paint dry with him and i’d do it. any time with him is an ideal date. i like going out and doing things but i would probably lean more towards “let’s cuddle and nap for like 5 hours”

22. are they competitive?

yes, especially when someone is a sore loser. like he beat me in bowling twice yesterday and even though i was cool with it he was like “i’m still gonna brag.” but i’m competitive too so it’s a good match

23. what do you do together?

anything. mostly just talk, cuddle, watch stuff, play video games, do homework together, and if there’s something to go out and do then we’ll do it

24. which smells remind you of them?

(copied from my main) his favorite smell is this yankee candle called festival of lights and he always has it burning when i come over so definitely that

25. do they remind you of any music?

just the music he likes, i don’t associate any of my music with him. he plays his music a lot so whenever i think of artists like lil peep or scotty sire i just think of him, plus the dozens of other people he’s made me listen to (not that i mind)

26/27. could you tell them your biggest secret? could they tell you theirs?

i probably will soon, obv not gonna say what to the entire internet but it’s an important thing. he’s told me his most embarrassing thing about himself which i didn’t think was too bad, i don’t know if he counts that as his biggest secret or not

28. how do you greet each other?

depends on where. whenever he picks me up i say hi/hey, if i walk into class i just smile at him because it feels weird to start having a conversation in a dead quiet class where no one knows we’re dating. i never kiss or hug him as a greeting but i do as a goodbye, not sure why

29/30. what makes you blush that they do? what makes them blush that you do?

he’s only made me blush once but i can’t remember what he said that made me do it, i only blush when i’m embarrassed. i don’t think i’ve ever made him blush, not that i know of

31/32. would you say you love them? would they say they love you?

way too soon for that BUT the other day he accidentally said it when saying goodbye as a force of habit because he always says “bye love you” to his friends/family. i didn’t notice because he said it super quickly before he realized but then he told me about it a few days later. i could picture myself loving him one day though. right now i’d say i adore him

thank you to anyone who read this and got this far if you did. this was really fun i just love talking about himmmm even if no one sees it, it’s just nice to gush uwu

#💌#lovecore

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imaginingit · 7 years

Text

crush!jungkook

happy valentine’s day mothafuckas ;)

i love jeon jungkook are u bitches ready

you first met jungkook when you heard the sound of a moving truck beep its way into the driveway next to yours

now u were always a child of adventure

ur parents worked a lot so it was basically u at home with ur grandparents and they were the most chill motherfuckers on the face of the planet

and the front door of ur house always seems to be unlocked so u were the poster boy/gal of “adventure is out there!!!”

cue me ugly crying that movie kills m e

u loved the outdoors and being adventurous

u were so tomboy and reckless it was hilarious

u drove every single member of ur family insane

they got called into school one time to u staring at the ground in the principal’s office next to a kid with a missing tooth and bloody nose

“he tried to hug me”

to summarize, u loved causing trouble, but have fun in the midst!

and yes, meeting new ppl!!

and at dinner, u would hear ur grandpops and grandma talking abt the couple moving in next door

and how they have also have a 6!! year!! old!! son!!

and u could barely keep ur head on the pillow that night bc omg! you can’t wait to have a new friend the same age as u!

so on that beautiful sunny saturday morning, at exactly 7am sharp, with ur scabby knees, bruised legs, ripped shorts, mismatched socks, run-down light up sneakers, and ur older brother’s hand-me-down power rangers sweatshirt, you marched on over to the driveway to meet your new best friend

and u see a middle aged man and a beautiful woman trying to carry in a couple boxes together and u guessed those were the parents

and as u were marvelling at how pretty they were, “man, if they look that good, how good does their son loo--”

“MOM, DAD, HELP IM STUCK IN THE SOFA!!”

u have no idea what came over u but u almost tripped over the tall weeds trying to get into the truck and find the source of the voice

you went straight to the yellow, flower-y sofa resting in the middle of the truck, with little boy limbs sticking out from under the cushions

u ran up and ripped them away and low and behold, u laid ur eyes on the most beautiful 6 year old there ever was

and from then on, ur heart decided to plant its FUCKING BOTTOM with jungkook forever

from the first day he met u he literally believed u were the weirdest person he’s ever met

but without a doubt, you became childhood friends

like best friends

u saw him naked for the first time when u were 8 and just bursted into his shower at like 8am in the morning

“Y/N WHAT THE FUCK GET OUT IM NAKED?????”

“omg it’s so smALL?”

he didn’t speak to you for two weeks after that

your grandparents would always have him over for dinner

you guys played make believe together and took naps in ur power ranger blanket together

but it’s also a lot of bullying

LOTS OF WRESTLING

taking turns making ugly faces, whoever laughs first has to go and tell ur grandma they pooped their pants and needs help changing it

“accidentally” slapping each other SUPER hard in the face

“you had a fly on ur cheek sorry!! couldn’t help it!!”

literally the purest and most innocent friendship ever ever ever

everyday in first grade, when you had reading time, he would be in the seat behind you and fold a tiny little paper plane with a sticky note and throw it at you

would keep folding them and throwing it at you until you noticed and turned around and yelled at him and got in trouble by your student teacher

“i hate u jeon jungkook”

you didn’t really

but it wasn’t until the third or fourth time he kept doing it that you realized there was a message on each of them

and they weren’t really anything cute

they were just like

“hey notice me”

“your hair looks greasy from the back”

“what book are you reading”

“don’t ignore me”

“am i being annoying?”

“yea? good.”

but your favourite was

“i’m glad you’re in my class”

because he would rarely ever show affection to you because your relationship was made up a lot of the “we don’t need to say anything to know it”, meaning you never needed to straight out express your gratitude to each other for the other to know that you’re appreciated

main point is you grew up together

however, after like the fourth grade

you both somehow decided that you were too cool for each other despite the fact that your crush on him was still there

there was something so mesmerizing about the fact that

he never truly ever demeaned you as a person??? like yes he was a tease and you guys always did those things to each other

but for a kid, he was always somewhat of a gentleman and would never make fun of you to deliberately hurt your feelings

unfortunately doe, in middle school, your group of friends completely changed

and although you guys sort of had the same status in school of being popular but very, very laidback, and your groups of friends acquainted with one another, your interactions would be saying hi, making small talk when you were with a handful of other people and smiling at each other as you pass by the halls

back then, you would walk home together every single day and spend time doing homework in the bedroom of one of you two

but as the grades went on and the workload increased, you found music and student council and volleyball whereas he found track and basketball and dance

his family went through troubles and he found it difficult to talk to people at times

and you were so busy with finding a job and saving up for post-secondary that you spent after school with your clubs or in the library studying

timing and interests for you guys were extremely unparalleled and eventually, things just grew apart before high school began

and oh dear

high school

periods? check. acne? check. hormones? check. grOWTH SPURTS? check.

now, reader, entering high school, you only had one rule: forget. about. jeon. jungkook.

and it wasn’t like he was being a dick or anything to you, you just didn’t find any way that you guys would work out anymore

despite being best friends and literally showering together when you were 7 and your parents are best friends, you just never ever have proper conversations anymore, and things just naturally got awkward

and also life lesson for u guys omg so philosophical what it wasn’t anyone’s fault, you guys just happened to no longer have the same interests or the time to notice each other anymore - people drift apart. it happens.

and you were so okay with coming to terms with that

until

“oh my gosh is that jeon jungkook?”

“he... grew muscles?”

“giRL HIS HAIR”

“puberty hit him like a freight train???”

the morning of sophomore year, after a whole first year of properly avoiding him and being absolutely sure that he wasn’t going to get hot (jungkook is juST A LATE BLOOMER OK LEAVE HIM ALONE), you turned your head to the front doors and felt the wind get knocked out of you

bc walking in with his friends, with the school uniform seemingly perfectly snug and hugging every one of his curves

was jungkook

and for some reason

yes he looked more mature and yes he got fucking MANLIER

but you were instantly reminded of something that clicked in you when you saw that 6 year old boy stuck in the sofa on the very first day he moved in next to you

was it that innocence? was it the charm? was it the hair-swept-away-from-face thing? you diDN’T KNOW

but girl you were gone again

and listen

you dated people in freshman year and guys liked you, but you were never the type to chase or to fawn

you were just different from other girls like you would much rather be the type to be the one playing ball than the one in a miniskirt cheering on the team on the sidelines

that’s just who you are, heck you fucking punched a dude that wanted to hug you and say thank you, broke his nose and chipped his tooth like kk y/n

it was just difficult for you to grasp feelings, truly, but for some reason, this guy has just got you so weak???

and for some other reason, jungkook and the reminder and memories of you guys as kids just hits you like a truck and you’re already head over heels once again

and you go into first period to shake off the thought of him but ofc!!! he’s!!!! in!!!! ur!!! first!! period!!! literature!!! ihml!!!

so you take the seat diagonally in the front of him to make sure you don’t get sidetracked in ur favourite class and drool at him the entire time

oNE DAY

you were taking notes from the board, analyzing and reviewing the literary device and short stories before delving into the actual stuff in literature when you dropped your pencil and leaned down to grab it

when you saw an arm reach down first

and hand it to you

you looked up

and you guessed it

biTCH IT WAS JUNGKOOK AND he had such a warm and friendly smile

and you could barely say anything

because on one hand you were like oh i’m glad he still remembers who i am??? like ffs? but your other side is like oh my god oh my god oh my god

so weeks go by and every single day you feel such a burning sensation at the back of ur neck like fufufufuffufufu he’s RIGHT THERE

and jungkook isn’t that type to be extremely boisterous and loud and obnoxious even if he’s hot shit

so you weren’t worried about him bothering you whatsoever after that like that was a fluke, he was being nice, whatever, it’s done

a couple weeks go by and you’re starting to feel better now, thinking you’ve got this crush thing under control

until

silent reading time

you were just assigned a new book by your favourite author! and you couldn’t wait to begin the book reports on these

so you dove into the world of fire-breathing dragons and mystical knights and creatures beyond reality

when you felt a poke on your neck

and you had no idea what it was? you were so engulfed in the story that you just scratched and left it, not thinking twice

and then you felt it again

it took you a second, but it hit you

and it hit you hard

you turned your head around slowly and your heart was beating so fast

your eyes fall on a small pink sticky note, folded into a plane, dropped on your shoulder

you don’t even DARE LOOKING BAC K AT HIM BC U KNOW UR HANDS AR E SHAKING TOO HARD AND IF YOU SEE HIM YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DROP DEAD

so you open it, careful to make no noise in the silent classroom

and on the single sticky note it read:

“it’s good to see you again. i’m so so glad you’re in my class.”

you sneak a tiny glance back at the boy behind you, your face flushing with heat and memories

and from behind his book, he looks up and gives you the tiniest, warmest smile you’ve ever received

you folded the paper once more and fit it in your pocket and returned to your dragons and knights and witches, all the while smiling like a fool to yourself because maybe, just maybe, you didn’t really drift apart that much at all

hi guys!! so sorry for the late update, hope you enjoy thisssss:)

also side note: just because it’s valentine’s day (i mean i dont celebrate this) doesnt mean that you need a significant other! buy yourself some hershey’s, make some tea, snuggle up with a teddy bear and a blanket, and switch on some netflix. today is any other day, so don’t demean yourself and your experience with this day because of your status!

alsoooo don’t wanna get a little preachy but, in this au i kind of hint at the fact that the y/n or reader is someone very tomboyish and doesn’t really seem to find herself chasing after boys. in no way am i trying to vocalize the fact that just because you’re of a certain nature, your personality towards boys reflects that. this is just a fictional work of how one might feel (presumably me lolz) when realizing feelings for someone they truly loved at one point. just because a woman who is normally tougher on the exterior has a sudden soft spot for a boy does not indicate that she’s lost sense of herself or that she succumbs to a boy. just because a woman is a certain way because of a boy that makes her feel different doesn’t mean she is any less of a woman herself. everyone is obligatory to their feelings, and how women choose to express themselves sexually or emotionally to a man they love is their own personal choice as long as they are within consent and are safe. everyone’s decisions and behaviours in love are consensual and their own - that does not demean them as a feminist in any way, shape or form. remember that.

have fun, y’all, uSE PROTECTION, and i love u!!!

214 notes · View notes

not-so-lonely-star · 7 years

Text

(B)romance in the NHL

Summary: A viral article about Kent and Tater’s bromance sparks some confessions. Word Count: 3,700 Rating: G

The music skips with an incoming text that Alexei ignores as he mixes his smoothie and hums along. Once he adds the last chunk of banana he slips the lid on the blender and turns it on. A few moments later he turns it off and the silence is jarring. Alexei walks over towards where his phone is laying on the counter, hoping his battery hasn't died yet again. His phone has been on the last leg of life for a couple weeks now, but he's too attached to it to change it in for a new one, no matter how much the rookies tease him.

Alexei picks up the phone. It isn't dead. It buzzes incessantly in his hand as 20 messages turned to thirty with three missed calls and several voicemails. Alexei swipes in his password and scrolls down the list of names until he reaches the first message. It's from Kent. The first is a link with three messages in quick succession after.

Kent (8:57 am): I didn't even notice them take this Kent (8:57 am): It makes us look kind of gay... don't you think? Kent (8:58 am): Okay yeah other ppl think it's hella gay too wtf

Alexei clicks on the link from the first text and his heart feels like it's beating out an erratic rhythm in his chest as he waits for it to load. Once it loads he breathes a sigh of relief, it's just the article about bromance in the NHL. A couple months ago he'd been contacted by Cosmo to participate alongside Kent in a best bros piece about cross team friendships in the NHL in an attempt to broaden the hockey audience. The concept was simple enough, they'd contacted a bunch of different hockey players with friendships well documented via social media and called them in to take pictures and give a short interview.

Two weeks ago, once they were both free with plenty of time in the off season, he and Kent had flown out to LA and posed for a bunch of pictures together. Each pair of friends was photographed playing some sport other than hockey.

Alexei knew Snowy and his buddy Kicker from the Schooners were doing water polo, because Snowy had complained to Alexei for a solid three days afterwards that it was 'the lamest of all polos'. Alexei and Kent had been given wrestling. The singlet they gave him was so small Alexei had popped into Kent's dressing room, certain that it was his - it wasn't. Kent's was tight and in aces black unlike the one Alexei was holding in falconer's blue.

Once they'd gotten dressed, after a lot of wiggling on Alexei's part, they'd been brought out to the set where a wrestling mat was set up and they were told how to pose. Most of it was fairly benign, Alexei pretending to have Kent in a headlock, Kent crouching to knock Alexei over, them standing together with arms slung around one another's shoulders, that sort of thing. After a couple hours of taking photos the woman in charge of the shoot, Shelly, stopped them.

"Alright boys," she'd said, walking over towards them and shaking both their hands. "I think we've got a bunch of great shots here. So you can feel free to go ahead and get changed. We've got a few more photoshoots and interviews scheduled, but the article should be posted in a couple weeks so keep your eye out." She smiled at them before walking back to the photographer. "Thanks again for coming," she said over her shoulder at them, "It's been a pleasure."

"Thank you," Kent had said, smiling, "it gives me an excuse to drag this lug out to LA finally."

Alexei had rolled his eyes good naturedly, "I am telling Kent I been to LA many times before -"

"Playing hockey and never leaving your hotel doesn't count." Kent smirked at him and before Alexei could even think about what he was doing he'd lifted Kent up and they'd both gone crashing down onto the mat. After grappling for a minute Alexei had ended up on his back staring up dazedly at Kent standing above him with his hand outstretched to help him up.

Alexei puts his head in his hands as he stares down at the photo. He hadn't even realized that the cameras were still rolling while he and Kent were messing around. The picture was taken a moment after Alexei knocked them both to the mat. In it he's pinning Kent's arms above his head and his legs are straddling Kent's waist. Kent has a grin on his face, that's more smirk than smile, which at the time had Alexei's heart skipping a beat before returning in double time. Kent's left brow is raised in challenge, but it's Alexei's face coupled with their position that's incriminating. His eyes are soft, his smile joyous and it's obvious to anyone looking that he's in love.

Alexei groans, and lets his head thunk down onto the cool counter. He hadn't realized he's been so transparent with his affection for Kent, if he had he never would've agreed to do the photoshoot together in the first place. Maybe no one else really noticed though, he thinks hopefully as he runs to get his laptop because his phone really is a piece of shit.

His laptop boots up quickly and Alexei holds his breath as he googles his own name. Before he even finishes typing it autofills with Alexei Mashkov Kent Parson gay? He curses softly before clicking on the first article that comes up and it has more than just the picture from the Cosmo site. There's paparazzi photos all the way going back to their rookie year, to when Alexei played for the Aces. None of the pictures would be all that incriminating on their own, but together...

Alexei groans and takes a deep breath before scrolling down through no less than twenty pictures of the two of them sitting just a little too close at sporting events, smiling at each other over dinner, sitting together in pubs, and most notably a picture of them slow dancing at Chaser's wedding last year. Chaser was the only other rookie on the Aces in their first year and had invited them both to his wedding even though none of them were still on the same team anymore.

"Why you are not dancing?" Alexei'd asked, having just come back from the dance floor where he'd had six kids hanging off of him like a jungle gym.

Kent had rolled his eyes and held up his glass, "This is more my style."

Alexei had plopped down into the chair beside Kent and smiled at him. "I know you like dancing. I see pictures all the time of Ace's Captain dance at club."

"This isn't really my type of dancing." Kent's nose had crinkled at the thought. Alexei's heart was still a little erratic from his time on the dance floor.

"You are not knowing how," Alexei'd teased in a singsong voice.

Kent had scoffed. "I know how to fucking dance."

Alexei stood up and stretched out his hand to Kent in invitation. "Prove it."

They'd twirled around the dance floor together, laughing with fingers entwined. At one point Kent had buried his head into Alexei's shoulder and it'd made Alexei's heart race and his palms sweat. The other hockey players at the wedding had teased them afterwards, but the smile Kent couldn't seem to completely wipe from his face the rest of the night had been worth any chirping they'd received.

Alexei knew their picture had been taken, but they'd been goofing off, he hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but now it was showing up on a gossip site less than twenty minutes after Cosmo posted incriminating photos. He isn't sure he wants to read whatever this site has to say about him and Kent, but it's like a car wreck he can't look away from as he scrolls down.

The article following the photos is short and mostly excerpts from the Cosmo interview.

Cosmo: So you two have been friends since your rookie year. Can you tell us about how you guys went from being teammates to friends? KP: Well my rookie year was pretty rough, it was a big change from the Q [Parson was in Juniors prior to the 2009 draft] and Tater didn't know anyone - AM: Or any English KP: [smiling at Mashkov] We bonded over a mutual inability to cook and be actual adults.

Alexei knows there was a follow up question to that about what sort adult things they didn't know how to do, it somehow devolved into Kent ranting about Kit. Alexei's not exactly shocked the site he's on chose not to include that conversation - if it even ended up in the final interview of Cosmo's website. Alexei had gotten so distracted by the picture he forgot to even look.

Cosmo: I'm sure our readers would be interested to know what the two of you do when you hang out together. AM: We like going [to] movies, I can cook now and Parsnip like[s] to [Mashkov looks to Parson and gestures at him] KP: [laughs] Mooch AM: Yes, yes he mooch[es] off of me. Cosmo: Is he a good cook Kent? KP: Oh yeah, definitely. I love when he cooks for me.

Cosmo: Do you two have anything planned together during the offseason? AM: Kent is come [sic] to Russia with me. KP: Since when? AM: I [told] you my mama want[s] to meet you. KP: Yeah I thought you meant in the US man. AM: No, no. I mean in Russia. KP: [Laughing] Apparently we're going to Russia together.

Cosmo: Kent you always seem to have a new beautiful woman on your arm. Any chance of you settling down soon? KP: [laughs] Is this your polite way of telling me to stop being a player? Cosmo: No, no of course not. I just want to let our female readers to know if they've got a chance. KP: Oh alright then, [laughs] as long as you're not trying to ruin my image. Alexei knows, he knows he shouldn't be reading the comments but he can't stop himself from scrolling.

There's already over 800 comments when he starts to read them, and the number keeps scrolling up. There's argumentative comments defending Alexei from what they think are false accusations tinged with disgust at the implications, debates continue in threads below that, a surprising number are supportive and there's a single comment, fifteen responses deep from a gay teen who says he's decided not to quit hockey now from just the idea that there might be professional hockey players like him. Alexei stops reading after that one.

When he attempts to go back to the original article to see what else had been included from their interview he can't because the site has crashed. Alexei pushes his laptop aside and walks back to his kitchen, ignoring the incessant buzzing and dialing Kent's number without even glancing at his missed calls and texts. It doesn't even finish the first ring before Kent's picking up.

"Dude, where the fuck were you? I've been trying to call you for twenty minutes." His voice sounds tinny and far away like he's using the speakerphone.

"Sorry," Alexei says, running a hand through his hair and feeling his heart rate slow from the panicked seizing it was doing moments before. He'd rather not think too deeply about that. "I - are you alone?"

"Yeah," Kent sighs through the line and Alexei can picture him fingering the brim of his snapback. "I'm in the car on my way to your place now."

"What?" Alexei asks.

"I was in New York visiting my mom," he says, "I'll be there in like two hours."

Alexei feels selfish, but the fact that he'll get to see Kent today nearly outweighs everything else. "Okay," he says, taking a deep breath, "I am sorry, котенок. Is my fault they are saying these things. I should not have -"

"Shut up Aloysha," Kent says. Alexei sucks in a quick breath at the rare use of his nickname. "This isn't on you. I'll explain when I get there - just don't promise PR or your GM anything before I do alright?"

Alexei nods, "Yes okay. I tell them we wait to talk to Aces before say anything." "Sounds good man," Kent says before hanging up.

Instead of sitting in his apartment letting his anxiety brew while he waits for Kent, Alexei calls Georgia and PR who are both surprisingly not upset with him. PR is pissed at Cosmo for using that shot, but the conversation actually goes far better than he thought it would. They even tell him that they were coming up with a plan for one of their other players who's planning on coming out and Alexei has absolutely no idea what to say to that. Georgia tells him that how they proceed is completely up to him; whether or not it's true he can deny it, or if he wants to come out the organization is behind him 100%. Alexei doesn't really know what to say to that because the number of people who know he's gay are exactly 2 - including himself, and the boy he kissed behind the bleachers in Russia nearly a decade ago who he's fairly sure doesn't even remember his name. He tells them he has to think about everything and hangs up before they can say anything else.

His phone won't stop buzzing and Alexei considers turning it off before deciding that it might not be a good idea. He checks the clock every five minutes trying to figure out when Kent'll get here, and when he's got about twenty more minutes to wait if Kent doesn't hit traffic when his phone buzzes with a name he'll actually bother picking up for.

"Alexei are you alright?" His given name sounds foreign on Jack's lips and he furrows his brow in distaste.

"Zimmboni," Tater exclaims, attempting to maintain some sense of normalcy. "How are you? When am I getting more pie from your baker?"

"Tater. You have - you've seen the article, haven't you?"

Tater sighs and his facade falls. "Yes, I'm seeing."

"I'm bi," Jack blurts, "well either that or pan. I'm not entirely sure yet, but I just - I thought it was something I should tell you. I mean, no that's not right," Jack says, words tumbling out so fast Alexei thinks Jack may have surprised himself a little with the confession. "It's something I wanted to tell you."

"Thank you," Alexei whispers, unsure of what else to say.

"I'm planning on coming out soon," Jack says, "while it's still off season, eh?" Alexei nods. "Is good time I think."

"I can -" Alexei can hear Jacks gulp clear through the line, "I can do it now. If it'll help - if it'll take the pressure off of you."

"NO," Alexei near shouts, "no, no. You do not come out for me. You come out for you when you are ready. Yes Zimmboni?"

The line is silent for a moment and when he speaks, Alexei can hear the undertone of relief in Jack's voice. "Yeah, yeah okay, you're right. I just - I know it can't be easy for you to have these rumors about you."

"They are not being rumors," Alexei says before he can stop himself.

"What?"

"Rumors means not true, yes? " Alexei's never said the words out loud before, and even though his heart feels like it's about to pound out from his chest he continues, "Well they are not rumors because I am gay." The words fall off his tongue as easy as any other and it seems anticlimactic that his roof doesn't cave in and the world around him doesn't come crashing down. Everything is the same as it was moments before, but it's different too.

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Jack says, as though it's a phrase he's memorized. "So you and Kenny are..." Jack's voice has a lilt to it now Alexei can't identify and he feels his heart cracking and splintering around the seams.

"No, no is not what seems." Alexei corrects him, walking over to the window with his phone held up to his ear before peeking through to see the swarm of reporters camped out at the end of his mercifully long driveway.

"Then I think you should talk to Kent," Jack says, as though it's that easy. Before Alexei can respond Jack is ending the call and there's a commotion at the end of his property.

A dark blue four door sports car barely even slows for the reporters blocking the end of his driveway. Alexei stumbles towards the switch by his door leading to the garage and presses it, opening the garage door just as the sports car reaches the house. An impossibly quick moment later his door is opening and he's got an armful of Kent Parson.

Alexei wraps his arms around Kent's shoulders and Kent buries his face deeper into Alexei's chest. After a long moment Alexei moves to pull back out of the hug, but Kent's arms remain firm around his shoulders and Alexei relaxes back into the embrace. When they finally pull apart several long moments later Kent's eyes are rimmed with red.

"I'm so sorry," Alexei says.

"What?" Kent asks, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Dude why're you sorry? It's my dumb ass that got us into this mess."

Alexei looks at Kent with confusion twisting his brow and Kent huffs a sigh, flopping down onto his couch and throwing an arm over his face dramatically. Alexei follows him and lifts Kent's feet so he can sit at the end of the couch. Kent doesn't put his feet in Alexei's lap - which is weird, because they sit like that all the time. He's got his legs squished up in a way that absolutely cannot be comfortable instead. Alexei picks Kent's feet up gingerly and places them in his lap.

Kent peaks out from under his arm and groans. "Why do you have to be such a perfect asshole, man?" Before Alexei can even come up with a response for that Kent plows on. "I'm gay."

Blood rushes through Alexei's ears and he drops his head down as his vision swims. Kent is gay, Alexei's best friend who he's in love with is not straight. He isn't sure how to process this information.

"And I'm sorry that you've gotten roped into this - I didn't think some little fluff piece for Cosmo would -" Kent pinches the bridge of his nose and looks anywhere other than at Alexei, "The interview, along with how I'm looking at you in that fucking picture. I - " Kent pulls his feet from Alexei's lap and sits up straight. "I can fix this, I was planning on coming out soon anyway. I can tell everyone to fuck off that just cause I -"

"What do you mean?" Alexei says slowly, Kent's words on repeat in his head. "What do you mean how you look at me?"

Kent rolls his eyes and huffs, but Alexei knows him well enough to see the nerves beneath his frosty exterior. "Are you really going to make me say it man?"

Alexei shrugs because the only way Kent's sentence would make sense is if he liked him, and that - he knows that isn't what Kent means.

Kent sighs and his gaze flicks away from Alexei's before meeting it defiantly. "I'm into you, okay? Not in a way that means we can't still be friends or anything because you don't love me back and you're also straight so - "

"I'm not straight," Alexei says, mind stuck on an endless loop of the words love me back. His heart is going to pump right out of his chest. "I am very much not straight," he repeats because it seems like Kent didn't hear him.

"What?" Kent asks after a long moment, eyes wide and brimming with something Alexei desperately wants to be hope.

"And I do," he says, and Ken'ts looking at him like he isn't quite sure what Alexei means, so he clears his throat and says, "love you back, I'm meaning." He ducks his head because that is most definitely not when he intended to say but he's not going to take it back because it's true and Kent deserves to hear it.

Kent launches himself at Alexei and suddenly they're kissing and it's - it's everything. It's years of memories seen in a completely different light. It's two rookies who hold hands just a hair too long when they shake for the first time. It's finding Kent crying in the locker room after a reporter interrogates him about Zimmermann the night of their first game and not knowing the words in either language but scooping him up into his arms anyway and leaving that night with a newly minted best friend. It's smiling just a little too long and laughing just a little too hard at jokes that no one else in the room finds funny. It's the bright red flush that creeps up Kent's neck and settles on his cheeks when Alexei catches his eye in locker room. It's playing on opposing teams and going to the fanciest restaurant in town to make the loser pay. It's every touch and look that sends off a flickering trail of sparks deep in his chest that he always tried desperately to smother.

It's Kent climbing into his lap and kissing him within an inch of his life. It's Alexei's hands dropping down low on Kent's waist as he pulls him closer. It's Kent breaking the kiss to catch his breath, forehead resting against Alexei's.

It's Kent mumbling, "We're so fucking stupid. We could've been doing this for years," into Alexei's mouth before kissing him again.

#patater #check please #omgcp #alexei mashkov #kent parson #myfics

633 notes · View notes

busaned-blog · 7 years

Note

dude your tags on tht post abt hobi+jin not having any lines (+ the discrepancy in ppl's reaction to those awful distributions) is WHEW coldblooded but accurate. ive also seen it happen, ppl leaving bc they can't GET WORK in their own group, and beyond hating awful distributions for wht they are, theyre bad for group longevity esp w/jin whos getting his college degree, who i cld see walking away frm bts w/work+network options even outside of ent. industry. like, bight cherish wht u got rn, dang

Hello anon, thank you so much for your message! It’s nice to know some people actually read my tags I guess haha. I’m not gonna lie, at first when I read your message I was thinking of not replying… simply because we all know tumblr tags are messed up (especially on mobile) and I did not feel like people interpreting my response as hate towards Bangtan or to any of the members. But then I realized that for me in my heart I know my feelings about this whole situation are not based on hate towards either of those so I decided to respond anyways and I just hope that I will word everything correctly so that people reallize I am not a hater. It will be a long response, because as I said in my tags I have a lot of feelings about this, so I’m putting it under a read more :)

When I reblogged that post we’re talking about and put all those tags in, I was extremely angry. I can’t lie about that right now, because I was. Maybe it’s a petty response, but in a song that is 4 minutes and 34 seconds long you just cannot convince me there was no room for Hobi at all. That there was no room for him to get like four lines on his own or for Jin to have more than the two he did? Especially when some members take up like half the song? I just refuse to believe that I’m sorry… And especially to realize, if you look objectively, that the difference in ‘talent’, to put it as such, in Bangtan is not that big let’s be real. They are all extremely talented and no one is 1000 steps above the rest at all in my opinion.

I’ve been a fan since about July 2015, a little after the Dope era, so I have been around for four comebacks now (and a hell of a lot of other groups’ members leaving/groups disbanding) and I’ve said this before on twitter: I feel like the line distribution is getting worse in stead of better with Bangtan. Run was sort of okay for me, especially if you keep in mind the idea of main/lead vocals and sub-vocals, but after that it just got worse and worse imo. And apparently, judging by the response to Hobi having no lines in Spring Day and Jin having barely any solo lines in BST, people really don’t give a shit and want to disguise it under the ‘I love ot7 so let me reblog some posts complaining about the awful line distribution and be done with it’.

The outrage on my dash with the Hobi situation was pitiful, because (and maybe I follow the wrong people who knows) the only ones actually being mad were Hobi stans and some Jin/ot7 stans. The outrage for Jin was basically non existent and it still pisses me off till this day. And the biggest discourse was that people needed to just basically shut up and support Bangtan because otherwise, and wow guilt tripping much?, they would hurt Hobi in the process too. And I get that we all have our favorites, we all have our ranking of the members whatever, but how can you look at this situation and just not realize how damaging it could be in the long run? How damaging it could be for ot7. You don’t have to love and cry and yell about Hobi and Jin as much as you do your bias, but to stay mostly silent cause it doesn’t concern your fave? I just can’t relate…

I’m a Jimin stan, but that means to me I am realistic enough to realize I have nothing to worry about with him. That he will get his lines and his screentime and the attention from his fans. So why should I be blind towards the mistreatment of some of the others? Because I’m settled? Because Jimin is my bias so I have no worries? And I’m not trying to say people who don’t stan Hobi or Jin feel like this, but this is really how it comes across to me. And then everyone, and this annoys me the most, wants to hide behind one of two defenses, a) Bangtan love each other more than anything and they want to stay together forever so awul line distribution won’t break them up and b) Bangtan have a lot of creative control so they probably decided this was best for the song…

Which is funny, because in the same breath they want to oppose haters, which they should don’t get me wrong, by saying ‘don’t hate on *insert their bias here* because it’s not their fault, Big Hit makes the decisions not them’. Excuse me? But that is not how this works. You can’t want to claim they have full creative control and make the decisions themselves and then turn around and say it’s actually Big Hit. It’s either they make the decisions themselves and they are basically assholes for ignoring Hobi, and more specifically Jin in like every song, or they are all subjected to what Big Hit wants.

But to come to the actual point: whether people want to close their eyes to this situation or not, in the end this could be damaging for Bangtan. Do you really think Minzy from 2ne1 didn’t love her group and her members? Do you really believe that guy from Teen Top that wants to leave doesn’t love his group and his members? Do you really believe that someone like Minzy, to take her as an example, who was in one of the biggest girl groups in kpop, just casually decided to leave? Do you not think that she didn’t realize that if she left she will probably never have the income she had with 2ne1 again or that she most likely will never ever be as popular as she was when in the group? Yet she freaking decided to leave anyways, because as you said she got no work! And ofcourse she wanted some, even if that meant not living the live she did with 2ne1, but it would be at least some sort of a life. And this happens to idols all the time, and then they, shocking I know, leave… Awful line distribution, and awful equal promotion, will be the death of any group no matter how much they love each other and the fans or how successful they are.

And I just wish as a fandom we could collectively come together on these subjects a bit more. You don’t have to be a Hobi or Jin stan to be critical of Bangtan’s efforts and in this case their line distribution. And there is also nothing wrong with being a critical fan and trying to let them and Big Hit know that no fan is going to leave if they make everything a little bit more fair. I just don’t want it to come to Bangtan’s contract renewals in a few years and having one or two of them even contemplating leaving. As you said, Jin is graduating soon and many people in the industry have already said that he is a lovely person, easy to work with, funny, clever, hard working and on top of that a lot more multi-talented then people want to give him credit for. You really believe he has no chance of a career outside of Bangtan?

Let me say something positive though for once. If we move beyond the line distribution and take a look at the promo, Big Hit gives me a little bit of hope. 2016 has been a rather good year for all of them in my opinion. Yoongi had his mixtape, Jin had Law of the Jungle and some other variety shows, Tae had his acting, the Taejin OST (where they both proved even more that Bangtan’s line distribution is shit), some MC jobs for all of them on music shows, etc. I think that if you would write it down then their promotion seems to definitely be sort of equal, which gives me great hope that Big Hit will at least always try to promote them equally in that area. But it also seems to me they want them stuck in certain positions: Hobi being the dancer, Jin being the visual, Jungkook being the main vocalist etc. When they are so much more then that!

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m not trying to convince anyone that Hobi or Jin are going to want to leave over this whole thing, but please can we all for once as a fandom acknowledge Bangtan’s shortcomings and realize that if nothing changes (because this is not a one time thing with them), and if we don’t try to voice our concerns, it could come to a Minzy situation (or any other group member that has ever left their group due to disrespect basically). I just don’t want them in the future to break up or have some members leaving, and then have everyone cry their eyes out for a day when we could have done something about it now…

This became so much longer then I wanted to, and I probably didn’t even say everything I wanted to say, so I’m really sorry. And I mostly ranted about nothing you were talking about in your ask, but I needed to get this all of my chest. I always say this and I will say it again: I love Bangtan with all my heart, and I don’t plan on abandoning them anytime soon, but these comebacks just slowly become a little less enjoyable and I will keep hoping that next time will be better. That next time I won’t have to sit through the music video waiting for a glimpse of Hobi or Jin or anyone. I just want Bangtan to reach their full potential, because I really feel they haven’t yet, because I think they are 7 wonderful individuals who deserve nothing less.

#anonymous #this may sound stupid but thank you so much for your ask #i usually write a lot of tags so people won't really read it and leave me alone about it #but it was nice to talk about it with someone #if you have more thoughts on this please let me know i am open to discussion :)#it's just this awful line distribution constantly re surfacing mixed with the repackage bullshit where big hit tried to frame us has annoyed #me to no end and i'm finding it hard right now to fully enjoy this comeback knowing that eventually things like this could be the last straw #for some of them #and maybe i am overexaggerating tbh i really hope i am but yeah #just my thoughts #everything in kpop is basically a popularity contest and that is what upsets me the most #because jin and hobi being done dirty is partly due to that as well cause big hit knows they don't have enough fans to actually cause some s #*sort of uproar lbr #so they can keep doing them dirty because they know most people don't really care #long rant #ignore me #answered

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