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#and while I wasn’t fully accepting of myself then/we didn’t but heads in any kind of ‘oh we are on completely different sides’

tetsuslove · 1 year

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Things that happened in the few months that I need to let go here or I’m going crazy. So make a tea and enjoy while shaking your heads

TW: drinking/ vomiting

No editing, so there could be many writing mistakes!

So where can I actually start?

Y’all don’t know how happy I am that it’s a new year but even that, it started soooo shitty that I lost my way on life ( no joking)

Last year was hell, my ‘friends’ showed their true colors so I was mostly on myself ( only one friend, let’s call her L, was on my side)

I had many breakdowns that I physically and mentally not go to school and was stressed over my exams. After all, if I fail my main classes, I will not make it through my graduation. I even begged my teachers, where I was pretty unsure after the exam, that they should send me a mail to tell me, if I make through the year or not. Only one told me that I sadly failed the class only days ago.

On Saturday, that’s showed how bad the alcohol got me. My dad is gone for a while, so I have the apartment for me alone. After I got the mail, I brought strong alcohol ( I’m 20y.o Europe girl, it’s allowed okay 🥲) and on that night, it was hell. I never ever got that drunk that I vomited for a good hour, alone. When I woke up, I realized what happened but thank good nothing bad happened ( I drew a picture with my makeup while being drunk??? I was so confused after the morning lmao)

Today my friend L messaged me that we got our exams back and I know from my heart, that I also failed the second class where I’m bad at it. So it all started again like on Saturday— I know alcohol isn’t a fully answers about this situation but for me it gives at least a bit of joy in my life right now. Because all I get asked is if “ I’m ready for my graduation exams” or “ If I already started to study for it” but NEVER “ How I’m feeling right now”. And when tried to talk with my sister about it, she wasn’t accepting it, she was more like “ since I could do it, you need do it too” even though we both are DIFFERENT in so many things.

So what’s my plan? Since I have a job, I will talk this week with the upper manager, changing my shift to a more station server. Earring money, looking for a apartment and leaving everything behind, like everything. My friends ( except L) doesn’t text me, doesnt know what’s going on or what I did or how I feel at the moment at it truly sucks. Nobody will know my next step because all I want is to be quit, quit about it so it will be more a shocke effect

With money, oh babe, I need help. Sadly I was in a black hole where buying stuff makes me happy, so you can think what’s going on in my bank account. I still can make through! I know I can but still need to plan it out

Next thing: relationships

I already told the one with my friends ones, my parents is okay and the one with my sisters too

Only thing is that I was giving my energy to a boy who didn’t give anything back and you know what hurts more ? That I promise myself not to fall in love with sb who treats me unfair in any kind

Right now I’m at home, staying at home for few days even the school started and before sb says “ why are you skipping school?” Because I’m not mentally ready, especially what happened on Saturday was something that I still need to heal

The apartment from my dad is dirty af because of me and I will clean it ofc, after all I think I vomited on the carpet ( I already putted in the bathtub but still need to wash it. I threw it when I realized it while being drunk)

So that’s an update for now 🤭

#tw drinking #tw vomit #SU’s thoughts #deleting it later

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nicoh57 · 2 years

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Posting the things that bother me or constantly flow through my mind everyday wasn’t to be interpreted as me speaking down on anyone. I viewed this as the equivalent of writing in a journal or someone having a diary that they keep their thoughts in. 100% of the time I am just venting. Or talking to myself. There is no target audience I’m looking to reach or a reason other than I just needed a place to put my thoughts down so that hopefully it would help me get over this. I had a journal before when she left the first time. And I honestly hated writing in it everyday. This was more convenient and easier.

There are tons of things I say over and over that I don’t want to bother anyone else with. My friends have their own lives. Their own problems. And I don’t feel like letting too many people in anymore because it’s useless. I appreciate everything everyone has ever said or done but at the end of the day, it’s just me in my head. And while the advise is probably spot on, it’s just not easy accepting it. I need to get through it on my own.

Yes. I miss her. That isn’t a secret. Whether she felt the same or not, she was probably the only person I’ll ever love unconditionally. Will we ever be together again? Probably not. A part of me hopes we could, but another part doesn’t for my own sanity and for the sake of the kids.

Yes, I will always be mad or somewhat resentful. There is some hypocrisy in that because I even ask myself, “how can you love her this much, but can hate her at the same time?” And the answer is very simple. I’m just hurt. By the things she says about me and to me. I’m not some unfeeling, cold person. I didn’t “fall out of love” with her. I did the best I could and since it wasn’t enough I’m paying for it. Daily. Mentally and emotionally. I don’t like that I’m still somehow the lightning rod for everything wrong in her life. I don’t like that my kids are thinking the way they do. I didn’t want any of this ever. I would’ve done anything for her. But she never would’ve anything for me. And that’s why it hurts. The amount of things I’ve looked past.. the shit I had to let go in hopes of a better future and for what? For it to just be this? I’m sure anyone would be upset

Since it’s been pointed out that it’s bothering you I won’t post on here about you or this account anymore. I have other accounts I can vent on. Because I figured you didn’t check anything of mine. Or care what I was going through enough to keep checking my things. I don’t check your things. It could be as easy as creating another account to look at your stuff but I don’t want to. I want to suffer in silence and be left alone. I want to let time deal with this because I’m hoping either one of two things happen. Either you completely make some kind of 180 and we both start genuinely apologizing to fix things, or we just leave each other alone altogether. It’s very clear what you care about, and not just to me. And I don’t say that in a degrading way. I just wish it could change. I will keep trying my best to get things squared away and figured out for the kids, while you figure yourself out. But I really hope that there’s a voice in your head that tells you to come back or to fix things. I’m not sure how we got to this point or why you are the way you are now but I really do hope you figure yourself out and realize things don’t have to be constantly hard and stressful. Everything doesn’t have to end for you to be happy. This family, you and these kids, were all I ever needed. I wish it was the same for you.

And the other option is.. well. You don’t come back to me. Which is not that great of an idea in my head. But it’s not about just what I want. It’s about what you want. And it’s still too new for me to fully grasp how you could be just done with me and treat me the way you do. Which again, is my problem to deal with if that’s what life is going to be. I just really wish it wasn’t

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rnelodyy · 3 years

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c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #c!dream #c!tommy #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #i had a COMPLETELY different point that i wanted to make but then i thought about it and went w a i t #uhhh if you wanna hear my original point lemme know i guess #anyway c!dream is such an interesting character! i hate him!#little green bastard man #c!dream critical

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Animal of the Night - Tom Hardy smut

The one where you decided to tempt Tom by wearing a sexy Venom costume.

Warnings: smut, jealousy, possessiveness, daddy kink, oral sex (m), spanking, dirty talk, name-calling, choking

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: this was requested by the lovely @jbreenr a while back and it’s finally here 😎

Tom’s P.O.V.

I’d been casually watching the door, waiting for her to arrive like it was no big deal, but it absolutely was. I’d been dying to see her ever since filming wrapped, but because there was still so much to be done until I could go back home and she was knees deep in some work herself, we’d agreed that we’d meet at this off-season Halloween party one of our friends was throwing. Even though I much preferred to be locked inside a room with her all night.

“Hey, man! What you’ve been up to?” I got distracted as the host of the night finally approached me to make some light conversation. It had been a while since we had the opportunity to chat - I’d been spending all my time in the city at her apartment or mine, consequently ignoring our group of friends as I’d much rather be buried deep inside of her, but I had to admit that I did miss the guys.

Not enough to stop me from wishing I was alone with her, though.

“Yeah, sorry I’ve been so absent. You know… work. What have you been up to?” I accepted the beer he was offering as well as the hug, throwing one last glance at the door before turning my body to fully concentrate on him.

“Just the usual. Work hard and play hard. Not a lot going on at the moment.” I nodded, taking a swig of the beer before I realized I should probably ask about the rest of the gang.

“What about everyone else? Is something different going on?” Tyler seemed to think for a moment - it’s never too easy to come up with stuff to talk about when put at the spot, I should know that - but then his eyebrows shot up and a big smile opened on his face, clear indications that he had thought of something interesting.

“Yeah! I don’t know if you’ve heard this already, I know you two are kinda close, but with you being away… Apparently, Y/N has a boyfriend.” My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach at that, panic clawing my insides and begging me to start yelling.

How could she start dating and not tell me about it? Sure, she was free to find a boyfriend, what we had wasn’t exactly official, and consequently, not exclusive, but I thought I deserved at least some update when she found someone to replace me.

The thought of her being with anyone else burned me to the core, and I held the bottle of beer so tightly I was surprised it didn’t break. Grinding my teeth so Tyler wouldn’t realize there was something wrong, I asked as monotonously as I could, “Oh, really? Who’s the guy?” But all I got was a shrug.

“We don’t know, she hasn’t introduced him to anyone yet. We just assume that’s the case because she’s been skipping all of our meetings but when she does come, she giggles at her phone all the time.”

She used to do that with me. When we were all out and I’d text her something I couldn’t say out loud. I always found it adorable, and the idea of her giggling for someone else’s stupid jokes almost made me puke on the spot.

“It’s no wonder she’s been keeping him hidden, really,” Tyler continued, completely oblivious to what I was going through. “She always did like the bad boy types.”

That comment made me frown, thinking back on her exes. In all the time that we had known each other, she had only had a handful of boyfriends - but maybe those were just the ones she introduced me to. The only thing that they seemed to have in common was their absolute inability to treat her how she deserved to be treated, so while I didn’t necessarily think that she had a type, if there was one way to define them, it would definitely be as “bad”.

“Mind if I join you, boys?” A seductive and familiar voice came from behind me, instinctively making me stand up straighter before turning around.

“Oh, fuck…” I heard Tyler comment at the same time that I took in her costume, my eyebrows shooting up as he continued, “You look fucking hot!” and I spilled out, “What the hell are you wearing?”

Y/N frowned, looking down at her own clothing like she had honestly forgotten what it was that she was dressed into - a sexy, slutty version of my venom character, barely recognizable with the lack of fabric.

“I’m venom!” She excitedly exclaimed, looking up at me again with a huge grin. “I thought you’d be the first to recognize it. What kind of an actor are you, really?”

Tyler chuckled behind us, but I could only focus on the woman looking up at me, provoking all sort of conflicting feelings to course through my body. There was jealousy and longing, desire and possessiveness. All I knew was that I needed to get her in a secluded environment in the next five minutes, or I would publicly explode.

“Come here with me, will ya?” I took her by the elbow, effortlessly moving us through the crowd of our drunk friends until I found an empty room I could shove her in, paying no attention to Tyler’s low whistle as we left him behind.

Once the door was safely closed, I turned around to stare down at her, really taking in her outfit. “I thought you knew better than to tease me like this,” I chastised, clicking my tongue as a smirk painted my lips at seeing her shiver when my voice dropped. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I could still pull a reaction from her.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“We have quite a lot of things to discuss, little girl…” I bit my lower lip in an attempt to reel myself in and remain motionless, instead of just jumping on the man I was so desperate to feel up.

It’d been way too fucking long. Any time apart from Tom was already hard on me, but ever since we started fucking, any night I had to spend without his gorgeous body hovering over mine was particularly painful to me.

Which is why I decided to wear this “sexy” Venom costume. Even though he offered to meet me back in my place, I knew he missed his friends - our friends - and this way, we could get everything we wanted.

I just had to make his resolve crack so he’d pull me into the nearest bedroom and bang me five ways into tomorrow, and later we’d rejoin the party and mingle again.

By the way my night had been going, I could see I was very close to getting what I wanted.

Tilting my head to the side, the picture-perfect idea of the innocent little girl he always liked to treat me as, I asked, “What’s wrong, daddy?”

Tom’s reaction was… surprising. His mouth fell open, his fists curled and he stood there watching me until suddenly he was all over me, pulling me to stand on my tiptoes so our lips could connect.

I moaned into the kiss, briefly forgetting about his odd behavior as the familiar taste of him invaded my mouth. “God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned when we parted, leaving me almost dizzy with desire as I rapidly blinked a few times to be able to focus on him once more.

“What would your boyfriend think about you being locked up in a bedroom with me, wearing this, huh, sweetheart?” And now I was back to confused. What the hell was he talking about?

“Boyfriend?” I asked, pushing him away just enough to look him in the eye. Tom’s expression was inscrutable as he stared down at me with that fire in his eyes that never failed to make me shiver.

“Yes, boyfriend. Tyler told me all about it,” he commented, shrugging as if it was no big deal, yet his fingers pressed tightly against my hips, keeping me close to him. The anger was clear in every single one of his features.

I could read between the lines. I knew Tom like the back of my hand, through the years of friendship and now… whatever the hell this was. The hint of possessiveness was there, just threatening to take over, and my God was I desperate to see how it would play out.

“What did Tyler say?” I asked, looking up at him from under my eyelashes as I tried not to let my smile grow, so he wouldn’t catch up onto what was happening earlier than I wanted him to.

“That you’ve been skipping outings and whenever you do go, you’re always staring at your phone and giggling.” I bit my lip so I wouldn’t giggle right then, turning away from him in the hopes of hiding my expression.

When I turned around once more, his eyebrows were raised. It was clear he wanted an explanation, so I cleared my throat and tried to speak as seriously as I was able to do at that moment.

“Oh, right…” I didn’t deny it, fiddling with some random knick knacks on the bedside table. “You mean… like I do when I’m talking to you?”

Looking at him over my shoulder, I watched as realization suddenly hit, and that’s when I couldn’t control myself anymore. I dropped to my knees before him, mouth watering just at the prospect of having that delicious cock of his deep in my throat, filling my mouth.

A beautiful blush spread over his chest as he panted over me, a sign of just how affected he was, with his lustful eyes watching my every movement when I started to suck on his member.

“What about the costume?” He asked, making me giggle when I pulled back to answer, but kept my hands working his cock, keeping him hard and ready for me.

“I just wanted to tempt you.” A growl escaped his chest, making me even wetter just as he reached for my hair and pulled me back to my feet.

“You should have reconsidered if you wanted my dick anywhere near you.” I whined when I realized what he meant. Even though I loved his punishments, I was aching for his cock, and he was right - I wanted it now. So maybe I should have thought twice before looking for this slutty venom costume just so I could rile him up. “Now I’m gonna have to spank the shit out of you.”

He bent me over the bed, pushing the cheap fabric of my clothing to my stomach and exposing my naked pussy to his gaze. “You’re such a whore,” he chuckled when he realized I had forgone any type of underwear, and I found myself rubbing my thighs to get some relief from hearing him call me names.

Should I feel bad that it got me so hot? Oh, well. There was really nothing I could do about it except hope he would take care of me eventually.

Tom’s P.O.V.

Witnessing her pleasure in being humiliated like this only added to my frustration. She really was the perfect woman for me, but instead of ravishing her like I wished I could do, I’d have to entertain myself with her delectable ass, all ‘cause she decided to behave like a slut to catch my attention.

“You look so delicious, darling,” I teased her by running my fingers over her pussy lips, gathering some of the nectar already threatening to spill from there. “It’s a shame you misbehaved.”

I let my hand fall over her right cheek then, startling her so I could hear her yelp. I knew she got off on the pain - it was another thing that I loved about her - but it wouldn’t be half as fun if she didn’t pretend this truly was a punishment, huh?

“Can’t reward that kind of teasing,” I kept admonishing her, slowly inserting a finger into her hole, frustrating the both of us further just so I could have her trembling in anticipation, trying to guess what type of touch I’d grant her next.

But I needed to get this show on the road so I could fuck her properly, so abandoning all type of play, I laid slap after slap on her ass, watching it bounce back after each spank, hearing her moans before they were drowned by the sounds of the party downstairs.

“Daddy!” She moaned, clinging to my thigh, making me even harder inside my jeans. She really did love getting her ass spanked, and I loved her ass, so I’d take any opportunity to get my hands on it.

“You know how long I’ve been dreaming of burying myself deep inside this pussy, little girl? Do you?” I snarled, hearing her whimpers like they were music to my ears. “And then you pull shit like this, and how the fuck am I supposed to keep myself together long enough to tame your bratty ass?”

Her thighs began to tremble, fingernails biting on the skin of my thigh. I knew what this meant, so I immediately stopped spanking her, pulling her by her hair so I could whisper in her ear, “I know you’re a whore, but no cumming before I have my dick inside of you, got it?”

She cried out at the authoritative tone in my voice, but I knew her well enough by now to know that she wasn’t done testing me yet. “You can’t control my orgasm,” she dared to fight me. “You don’t own me. I’m not yours.”

I clutched her throat, cutting off her air so I wouldn’t have to listen to any more of her shit.

“Shut. Up.” Her eyes were wide when I threw her on the bed, pulling her by the ankles so her legs were dangling off of it, keeping her on her stomach as I unbuckled my belt.

“You’re such a fucking brat,” I complained as I climbed up her body and forced her legs open as wide as they could go, considering the position, and slid home. I knew it wouldn’t hurt her because she was already dripping, but I also knew she’d feel the stretch from being without me for so long.

Call me sentimental, but I didn’t feel like I had to ask to know she hadn’t been with anyone else, considering our previous conversation.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“You didn’t say shit like that when I had you over my lap, screaming for your daddy, huh?” He taunted, hand pulling on my hair once more as the other held my hips down, granting him the leverage he needed to fuck me against the mattress. “Or when I fucked you so hard that you couldn’t walk without feeling me for a week.”

That was a fun day. Memories of our last time together rushed through me, adding to my arousal, especially once I remembered how smug he was when I told him about my difficulties to walk during our weekly calls.

It was good to know he’d thought about it so much that it still lived in his mind, all those months later.

“Should have known I’ve owned you ever since I shoved my cock inside this tight little pussy, sweetheart.” I shivered when he whispered the warning against my ear, voice low and seductive like that night he took me in a bar’s bathroom before taking me home. It’d been the culmination of years of sexual frustration and dirty dreams, and I still thought about it every time I had to get myself off.

“How did you think this would go?” He questioned, incredulity clear in his tone. “Did you think you could fuck me until you were tired and then I’d let you go find a little boy toy you could control? Oh, no, darling.”

“There’s no going back anymore, little girl.” The threat had me coming around him, eyes rolling to the back of my head as the entire moment became too much for my poor hungry body to handle.

I’d always been known for biting off more than I could chew, but honestly, I’d rather die than waste the opportunity to be owned like this by Tom fucking Hardy.

“I’m not gonna leave this pussy, sweetheart,” he continued, like he was honestly telling me something that I didn’t want to happen. “Ever.” To drive his point home, he kept fucking me through my orgasm, pulling on my hair as my moans became whimpers and my hands bunched up the sheets of a stranger’s bed.

“It’s mine now.” With that, he pulled me back enough that he could meet my gaze, allowing me to witness him panting with his own pleasure, eyes darkened as he took in how my body folded to abide by his wishes. “You’re mine,” he announced, such firmness in his tone that any doubt that could have lived inside of me instantly disappeared.

I knew this wasn’t just dirty talk anymore. He was telling me the truth - he was warning me of a fact, now. My body belonged to him.

Still, I guess even he needed to be reassured from time to time, because the next thing to fall from his lips was a plead, “Tell me that you want me.” His cock kept plunging in and out of my cavern, caressing my oversensitive walls in that way I loved so much. “Say that you are mine.”

I didn’t even hesitate before granting him exactly what he wanted.

“I’m yours, daddy, all yours!” I cried out, entire body trembling underneath his, desperate to make sure he heard me so he wouldn’t keep me away from my second orgasm of the night. “Oh, God!” I pleaded, fucking myself back against him. “Please don’t stop, daddy! Please!

Tom’s P.O.V.

“I’m not gonna stop, darling,” I assured her, hands caressing her back in an effort to calm her down. “Not until I feel you clenching around me.” A groan escaped me when I felt her do just that, and I didn’t know if it was on purpose or if another orgasm had hit her.

“Why would I ever stop fucking you?” I was babbling now, I knew - delirious with my own pleasure, trying to get her to cum one last time before me so she could milk my orgasm in that way only she knew how. “Best fucking pussy I ever fucked, would never leave you if I could.”

A strangled cry escaped her, right when blinding white bliss took over my sight and I pulled out just in time to stroke my release over her ass, grunting in the relief that followed.

“Fuck, I love you,” I whispered to the silence of the room before she turned around from underneath me, unworried about dirtying up the bed that didn’t belong to either of us.

Pulling me by my shirt, she whispered against my lips, “I love you more, daddy.”

#my fics #tom hardy smut #tom hardy #smut #tom hardy request #my requests #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy reader #tom hardy reader insert #tom hardy reader inserts

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charmingyong · 3 years

Text

Only Fate Can Tell

Prologue

Genre: Jaehyun x fem!reader, adorable bestfriend!Taeyong x Irene, marriage, fluff, slowburn, humour, angst

Warnings: slowburn, brief mention of mental health, babysitting children, alcohol consumption, awkward feelings, unrequited love, blinded by assumed thoughts, an idiot to not acknowledge the feelings of love, suggestive at the end

Word count: 16k

Plot: You didn’t want to marry, but your parents were keen to find you a life partner considering your age. After numerous failed attempts of finding an alliance because you rejected all the potential ones after first meeting, your parents gave you a warning if you rejected yet another one. Therefore, much to your dismay, you chose to give Jung Jaehyun a chance.

A/N: This is a story of what happens before the marriage takes place (i.e. no married life scene in this part, and I will be writing a sequel). A few scenes were inspired by ‘The Return of Superman’ show. There’s a small surprise for Jaeyong stans. Songs of inspiration: Jaehyun’s I Like Me Better (Lauv), Love Me Now (NCT 127). Disclaimer: Taeyong x Irene is only for a fictional purpose in this story. If triggered, do not read this.

Gif: mine

- ❀ -

You dragged your feet to the entrance of the top floor restaurant, your palms getting sweaty as the doors slid open, making you hear the soft music more clearly. You were nowhere near interested in the blind date that your parents had set you up with. Even though you were itching to not show your face to the unfortunate man that had to see you, you didn’t have the heart to have your date be stood up by you.

You made eye contact with a female greeting you upon entry into the elegant establishment. “Hello ma’am. Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, his name is Qian Kun.”

“Ah yes, please come this way.” She led you past the tables with light chatters, and you reached the end of the room where a man sat looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the miniature vehicles zooming on the highway.

“Sir, your date has arrived.”

Kun pried his eyes away from the window and towards you, a smile taking its place on his face. “Hello Miss Y/N. Please have a seat.” He gestured to the empty chair across him.

You nodded, timidly sitting down with your eyes wandering everywhere except on his.

“Would you like anything for starters?” he asked you gently.

You pursed your lips and shook your head. “Um, I need to tell you something.”

His lips formed an ‘oh’ and signaled for the server to leave you momentarily. “Yes, what is it?”

You took a deep breath in. “I only came here because my parents have been pestering me nonstop to get married. I’m really sorry but I’m not interested in marriage. It has nothing to do with you. It’s just me and I’m really sorry about that.”

Kun nodded, smiling tenderly at you. “I completely understand. I’m also here for that same reason.”

Your eyes widened slightly. “You too?”

“Yes. I actually want to focus on my career, and so I was hoping to get married like a few years from now. Definitely not now,” he spoke his last words quietly.

You smiled. “Well, I’m glad we’re both on the same boat. So I guess I’ll be going then since there’s no point for me to be here now,” you chuckled nervously.

He shook his head. “Please don’t. It’d be a shame to have you leave here with an empty stomach. This can just be a friendly dinner. That’s if you don’t mind, of course.”

You couldn’t say no to his kind eyes, especially when he was being a gentleman. “A friendly dinner it is.”

- ❀ -

You rang the doorbell and waited for a few seconds. The door flung open, revealing a smiling Irene. “Y/N! How did it go?” she beamed, excited to hear the details.

“You know the answer to that.” You took off your shoes and walked inside the clean spacious condo. Your eyes landed on little Aera who was on her four and you cooed, running up to her. You picked her up, cradling her tiny body in your arms and smooching a number of kisses all over her face. In return, Aera squealed happily from the sudden love attack.

Irene sighed. “You seriously did it again? Not give him a chance?”

You sat down on the couch with Aera on your lap. “Well, we did have a friendly dinner. And besides, he wasn’t interested in marriage either and he wanted to focus on his career.”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You got saved this time, but it might not happen again. I don’t know how many times your parents are going to let it slide until they’ve had enough and force you into an arranged marriage.”

You cocked an eyebrow at her. “Isn’t this arranged anyway? Having to go on blind dates that they set me up with?”

“Yeah but you have a choice right now to say yes or no. What if next time you don’t get so lucky and they get fed up with you having to constantly reject every single one, and they force you into a marriage without your consent?”

You stilled, staring at Aera’s joyful face. Irene was right. There was a chance that you might not be lucky one day and be forced into a marriage without love. But you wanted to trust your parents that they’d let you choose your partner, no matter how long it’d take.

- ❀ -

You drove to your next blind date a few days later. Your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as you ground your teeth, remembering back to your parents’ words the previous night. Even though your head was heated, you tried to focus on the calming music that played from the audio system in your car, safely driving down the streets without any road rage.

You parked the car in the near vacant lot and stepped out. The date was held yet again at a luxurious restaurant and you sighed.

At least it’s not as expensive looking like the past ones, you thought.

You grasped the golden handle and pushed it open. The lighting wasn’t too bright, just dim enough to create a cozy ambiance.

“Hello madam, are you F/N L/N?” The male inquired.

Bewildered, you nodded. “Yes. How did you know?”

He smiled politely. “The entire restaurant is currently booked for Mister Jung Jaehyun.”

You looked around and indeed found it unoccupied of customers, only spotting a male figure at the opposite end of the place, his back facing you at a table.

“Please come this way.”

You followed, your legs becoming heavier with every step and your heart pounded in your chest.

Please let everything go well with him, you prayed silently.

The server pulled out your chair and you sat down without giving your date a glance. Once you were settled, you then looked up and your breathing halted momentarily.

His soft eyes were trained on you, along with a smile accompanied by dimples so handsome that you almost swooned.

But good looks aren’t going to mean anything if there’s no love, you thought.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Y/N,” he greeted warmly.

You forced a smile out of courtesy. “Same here, Jaehyun.”

- ❀ -

“So how’s Jaehyun?” your mother asked with an vibrant smile.

You sighed. “Okay I guess.”

“So it’s a yes then,” your father stated.

You almost glared at him. “The date was okay. I didn’t feel anything with him.” Your palms were clenched tightly while you tried to slow your breathing down.

“Oh sweetie, you don’t have to feel anything for him. Love doesn’t have to happen right now. And Jaehyun’s a good boy. I’m sure he’ll make you happy,” your mother said.

You groaned quietly. “What if love never happens? He can’t make me happy if I don’t love him.”

“Your mother and I didn’t have any love in the beginning, but we learned to care for each other.”

“Caring is not the same as love.”

His hard gaze was locked on you. “It is.”

Grinding your teeth, you could never beat your father with his words.

Your father mentioned beforehand that if the date with Jaehyun also failed, then he was going to force you in a relationship with a man that you wouldn’t see until the day of the wedding. This meant that you were now, technically, arranged to marry Jaehyun.

You were at an age where your friends and relatives were already married, even having children. Your parents viewed societal expectations more important than your own, and so that resulted in you having to go on numerous blind dates with you fully prepared to turn down every single guy no matter what. You wanted to marry someone that you would love, and all the dates that your parents had set you up with were of men that met their ideal type as their future son-in-law.

The date with Jaehyun felt more awkward than with any previous ones. That was because with Jaehyun, you weren’t just there ready to reject him in the face as politely as possible, but you were trying to accept him as your future husband. While that would be something teenage you would squeal about in high school, you cringed greatly at that in your twenties. Your teenage self always dreamt of a grand wedding with the love of your life. But growing up, you accepted the reality. Not everyone was lucky to meet their love and the fact that you hadn’t met yours made you pessimistic.

Pessimistic that love wasn’t written in your fate.

So far, Jaehyun did seem like an okay guy and you could only wish that your feelings would grow for him, especially before the marriage date. Nothing about him upon first meeting had you dreading of a thing that you didn’t like in him. But... “Can I please seriously ask you something without you two being biased?”

Your parents looked a each other, embracing themselves for what you had to inquire. “Sure sweetie, what is it?”

You gulped down the bump forming in your throat. “What if I find out something bad about him before the wedding, or something I don’t like in him? Do I have to force myself to be with him still?” you asked with a puppy look to make your parents grow soft for you and agree.

A brief silence was what you were met with as they silently conversed with one another through their eyes. Your father released a long breath afterwards. “You have up until the time before the wedding invitations are distributed to give me a reason why you shouldn’t marry Jaehyun. And it must be a valid reason.”

- ❀ -

“Tae, are you even listening to me?”

His gaze was lowered onto the floating strawberries that swam around in his drink. “Yeah I am.” He took a long sip and smiled, humming in satisfaction. “Are you going to eat your pastry?”

You crossed your arms and leaned back in your seat. “You’re clearly not. My future is on the line and you want my pastry? You’re not even reacting to whatever I’m saying.”

He lifted his doe eyes onto you. “I am. But based on whatever you just said, the date didn’t sound like it went necessarily bad. All that happened was small talk and you two were silent most of the time.”

Your jaw dropped. “So now your gonna be on my parents’ side? Just because we were mostly silent doesn’t mean it didn’t go bad. What if we’re going to be like this after marriage? I can’t handle this awkwardness, Tae!”

“I’m not saying that I’m siding with your parents but give Jaehyun a chance. It was only the first meeting so obviously it’s going to feel awkward. Plus, based on the picture you showed me, he’s good looking.”

You blinked. “So?”

He shrugged, looking innocently at you. “Cute babies?”

“Shut up Lee Taeyong!”

He laughed, his head falling backward.

You sighed. “I can’t believe this. Why am I being forced into a marriage? Can’t they let me choose my partner?”

“They have been letting you for years, but you kept putting it off, Y/N.”

“Because I didn’t find the love of my life? I don’t like my parents’ choices where they always choose the one with money. I don’t want to marry a guy who’s only good with first impression but ends up being boring after marriage. I wanna meet someone like you, Tae. You’re so easy to love.”

Taeyong giggled. “I’m sure there are better guys out there than me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Please, you’re literally like the biggest cutest sweetheart on earth. I can’t even imagine someone beating your level. Irene is so lucky. If you didn’t fall in love with her, I would have asked for your hand in marriage,” you joked.

He shook his head, laughing hard. “Stop! You’re too much, Y/N. But don’t assume that all guys your parents try to set you up with are going to be boring. You don’t know the charms that Jaehyun’s carrying and before you know it, you’ll be falling for him.”

You sighed heavily. “Sounds too good to be true.”

He smiled sincerely. “Leave it up to your fate.” He looked behind you at the display case of the various baked goods before looking at your untouched pastry again. “So are you eating that or not?”

A smile tugged at your lips and you pushed your plate towards him. “Eat up. You need it more than me to keep up with the little angels in your home.”

After Taeyong devoured the chocolate tart, you both stepped out of the coffee shop with plans of heading over to the movies.

“I wish Irene could come with us, but the kids...” you trailed off.

Aera was only 9 months old and there was no way that little bundle would sit quietly for two hours unless she dozed off. Even if the problem was solved with Aera, Jinae was a year older and she was quite a curious and an energetic one. Though not more than Chunghee, the 4-year-old boy who was at the perfect age to be labeled as the troublemaker in the household.

“When I watch over the kids, you and Irene can have your girls night out. Or day, whatever time of the day it is.”

“Please make a vlog. I wanna see you struggle.”

Taeyong laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you but they love me more than Irene so they’re always listening to me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Maybe they’re scared of you.”

He clicked his tongue. “I’m sure they’re scared of Irene.”

You giggled. “I can see that being the case more.”

After paying for the tickets, you and Taeyong walked in the direction of the designated auditorium. Halfway through, Taeyong halted. “Awe man!”

“What is it?”

“I want sweet potato chips. But the vending machines aren’t here anymore,” he pouted.

You pondered for a bit, recalling back to the food counter by the entrance. “I think I saw them selling it at the front.”

His eyes brightened. “Really? Okay stay right here. I’ll be back soon.” He sprinted off in the next second, leaving you amused by his usual childlike behaviour. You pulled your phone out to entertain yourself for the time being.

“Y/N?” A deep voice called out your name and you looked up to find the man that you were unexpectedly seeing for the second time. Your body tensed hearing his voice again, and your heart skipped a beat when your eyes landed on his outfit. It was nice to see Jaehyun wear denim, something outside of the formal attire at the restaurant. In his hands was a container full of popcorn.

“Oh Jaehyun. What a surprise,” you awkwardly chuckled.

He grinned at you. “It is. Are you here alone?”

You shook your head. “No, my friend went to get some snacks. Are you?”

“My friend had to go do something. I was waiting for him until I saw you from the distance.”

Right on cue, a tall man appeared beside Jaehyun and genuinely smiled at you. “Oh, hi there. I’m Johnny.”

You gave him a tight smile. “I’m Y/N.”

His eyes went wide. “Y/N?” He turned to Jaehyun and repeated. “Y/N?” Johnny raised his eyebrows incredulously. He received a nod from Jaehyun and faced you again. “Oh my goodness. I heard about you and it’s seriously a pleasure to meet you.”

“Huh?”

He laughed at your puzzled expression while Jaehyun avoided your gaze nervously, his cheeks dusting pink. “It’s nice to see Jaehyun talk about something other than his work. He’s so devoted to his work that he sometimes forgets to chill out.”

Your heart fell at his words.

Devoted to his work.

You were not into men who were so passionate about their work that they’d forget about their well being. And not just well being, but they’d spend less time with their significant other.

Taeyong used to be like that until Irene was diagnosed with postpartum depression. He then took time off from work for Irene’s recovery. With his full attention on her and taking care of their first-born, Irene fully recovered with the prescribed treatments and Taeyong’s love, and you were relieved that the illness didn’t come back with Jinae and Aera.

You weren’t necessarily afraid of what happened to Irene. Taeyong had to get back to work after Irene’s recovery and they were able to pull through because there was love and understanding between them. There was no love between you and Jaehyun, and so your relationship, whatever little there was, had to depend on understanding one another. And that was going to be difficult when you weren’t interested in the man.

You pursed your lip, anxiously waiting for your friend’s return.

And finally he did with three bags of chips in his arms. “Sorry I took long. Oh! Jaehyun, right? Hi, I’m Taeyong. And you must be his friend, am I right?” he asked the taller one, shaking his hand.

“Yes, the name is Johnny. Nice to meet you, Taeyong. And boy, you have some strength.” Johnny was always the one with the most amount of strength. Therefore, having to meet someone who possessed nearly the same amount was impressive to him.

Taeyong chuckled. “Well I definitely do need it when having to look after my kids.”

It was a coincidence that the other two were there to watch the same movie as you. Taeyong suggested for them to sit with you two, and you sent your friend a small glare to which he responded with a smirk.

That was how you ended up sitting beside Taeyong and Jaehyun, squirming a little in your seat. During the advertisements, you noticed a popcorn container being offered to you by none other than your future husband. And you felt a slight pang in your heart.

“Sorry but I don’t like popcorn,” you admitted.

He was taken aback slightly before nodding and placed his popcorn on his lap, all while avoiding your gaze. You felt a bit bad. He was trying to be nice to you, but you weren’t going to force yourself to eat something that you weren’t a fan of.

Right after, Taeyong offered you his snack. You loved sweet potato chips, being the one to actually introduce it to your friend and you were proud to have him addicted to them. You took hold of the bag entirely, hearing a whine from him. You munched on the chips and hummed happily.

Jaehyun observed this and felt a stab of jealousy.

- ❀ -

“Jinae!” you beamed at the little girl waddling up to your open arms. You picked her up and swung her around in circles, making her laugh cheerfully.

“Wow Jinae, you really betrayed papa for Y/N auntie,” Taeyong sulked.

You stuck your tongue out playfully at him and pecked Jinae on her squishy cheek.

Chunghee ran up to his dad, crying with teary eyes. “Aigoo, what happened?” Taeyong kneeled down to meet his son’s level.

“Mama force me fruits!” he wailed.

Taeyong closed his eyes. “I should have known Ten uncle was going to be a bad influence on you,” he muttered.

“I can’t believe you trusted Ten with Chunghee. Wasn’t it only for an hour?”

He nodded in response and wiped the little boy’s tears away, kissing his forehead and picking him up with his strong arms. He carried Chunghee off to the bedroom while you sat down on the couch with Jinae in your lap.

“Don’t become like your brother and eat fruits, okay? Don’t stress your papa out.”

“Eung,” she responded in promise. You smiled at her and ruffled her hair, earning a smile from the baby.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, moving Jinae down beside you. You pulled it out that displayed Jaehyun’s name on the screen. Right after the movie ended, you bid Jaehyun and his friend a quick bye and dragged Taeyong out the theaters, not giving a chance for small talk.

You hesitantly answered the call and pressed the phone against your ear. “Hello?”

“Hi Y/N,” he greeted softly. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, guessing where that question would lead to.

A date.

As much as you wanted to lie and avoid him, it ultimately wasn’t going to do any good for anyone, including yourself. Spending more time with him meant more opportunities to find a flaw in him.

“Um, yeah- I mean no! I’m not free- I mean I AM free... tomorrow. Haha.” You wanted to slap yourself in the head.

If it weren’t for the silence on both ends, you would have missed the almost inaudible giggle from him. “Can I come pick you up tomorrow around lunchtime? For a date?”

“Sure, yeah, sounds great,” you smiled awkwardly.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

Once the call ended, you were ready to chuck your phone across the room before tossing it next to you and slumped against the couch, physically cringing at how the conversation went. Jinae curiously watched you, her baby lips forming an ‘oh’ followed by her eyes crinkling in amusement.

- ❀ -

The doorbell rang to your home, which your mother giddily ran up to the front. A smiling Jaehyun was revealed on the other side who held a bouquet of warm-coloured flowers.

“Hello Mrs. L/N.”

“Jaehyun! Lovely to see you. Come on in now,” she ushered him inside.

Jaehyun’s eyes wandered around the interior design of the house, catching sight of the wall with framed photos of your life, ranging from your birth to your graduation. The smile tugging at his lips was enough to have your mother beam at him.

“Y/N has always been such as adorable girl. Isn’t she pretty?” She cooed at the pictures of little you laugh towards the camera, your pupils hidden behind your closed eyelids.

Jaehyun felt something in his heart. When he first saw you at the restaurant, he thought you were more beautiful in person. The surprise encounter at the movies had his heart skipping a beat. Standing in front of a collage containing various stages of your life made his heart flutter, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He really liked you and wished everything would go well with this marriage.

“She’s beautiful,” he replied with sparkling eyes.

You stood hidden away behind a wall, eavesdropping. To say you felt embarrassed was an understatement. You cringed on the inside every time someone walked into the house and stared at your pictures. You never liked the idea, but you didn’t have a say in it as it was your parents’ house after all.

To hear your future husband call you beautiful after seeing those photos had heat threatening to burn your cheeks and a warm feeling spread in your chest.

“Jaehyun, can I ask you something?” your mother asked.

“Of course.”

She swallowed before parting her lips. “You see, Y/N’s been trying to put off her marriage for a while and I’m not sure exactly how she’s treating you.”

He nodded, comprehending her words clearly. During the first date, he noticed your jitteriness and near lack of liveliness to continue the conversation as if you weren’t interested in him at all, and that hurt him. To see you interact with your friend in a brighter manner made him jealous. Jealous that you wouldn’t see him like the way you would with Taeyong. Though he understood that your relationship with him was new and he was willing to give you all the time you needed to become comfortable with him one day.

“While her father and I made her give you a chance, you’re not obligated to be forced into this marriage if you’re not happy. If you ever want to back out, I ask you to do it only because you’re feeling that way. Not because of Y/N. I really think you’re a perfect match for her and I’m sure it’ll take time before you can fully win her heart.”

You gulped upon hearing your mother say all that to Jaehyun. This meant that if Jaehyun didn’t like something about you, he could back out of the alliance. Your brain celebrated in near victory that it wasn’t going to be a fully forced marriage, as both the bride- and groom-to-be had your voices free, increasing the chances for either of you to call off the wedding.

“I understand. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Y/N,” Jaehyun assured.

You stepped out, walking up to where they both stood. He caught sight of you and sent you a charming smile, his dimples on full display.

You on the other hand grew curious of the bouquet in his grasp. He realized what you were staring at and grew flustered.

“Oh sorry!” He seemed like he was in a dilemma, whether to hand the bunch over to you or your mother, opting for the latter. “I-I brought these for your home,” he stuttered with the tips of his ears turning red.

Your mother giggled at his behaviour. “Oh thank you, Jaehyun. I thought you were giving those to Y/N. Seems like you got distracted by pictures of baby Y/N,” she teased.

Both yours and Jaehyun’s cheeks burned at your mother’s words.

After saying bye to your mother, Jaehyun beat you to opening the passenger door, holding it wide open for you to get in. You thanked him with a tight smile.

He had one hand on the steering wheel while the other fumbled around with the stereo, a song played softly in the background as he focused both on the road and on your tensed figure.

“I know this ramen place if you’re interested,” he spoke after some time.

You remembered mentioning to him in your small talk that you loved to eat ramen. Having him remembering the small detail made you feel a spark inside. “Ramen sounds great.” And what felt like the first time when being with Jaehyun, a small smile slowly spilled onto your face, not going unnoticed by the one beside you.

After two sets of bowls arrived at your table, your eyes drunk in the beautiful arrangement of the toppings on the noodles. You were about to pick up your chopsticks until Jaehyun stopped you. “Don’t touch yours just yet.”

You blinked at him confusedly yet stilled.

Grabbing his chopsticks in each hand, he worked with his bowl, mixing the pieces of vegetables and meats into the broth, folding the noodles on top. Once done, he laid down the chopsticks in its holder and switched his touched bowl with your untouched one.

You stared at your meal, surprised that such a simple action had your insides squealing with a fuzzy feeling. “Thank you,” you muttered, a bashful smile tugging at your lips.

He felt pleased with himself to make you feel that way and hoped he could continue doing so in the future. “No problem.”

Both of you dug into your noodles, slurped up the remaining broth once finished. You were glad that Jaehyun brought you for a casual lunch where you didn’t have to worry about manners and etiquettes as that sort of stuff did not go with ramen.

He later suggested a walk in the park in order to digest your full bellies. The weather was perfect, the sun blazing down onto your head and you were glad to have chosen a light-coloured outfit. Summer was nearing and soon enough, you were craving for a frozen dessert.

“Do you want something refreshing?” Jaehyun asked, almost like he read your thought.

“That sounds nice. Ice cream?” You pointed at the ice cream stall from afar.

He followed your finger and turned back to you, dimples reappearing. “Sure. Let’s go.”

Both your steps were synced, and he craved to hold your dangling hand. Craved to have his first ever physical touch with you. But he was worried if it was too soon and clenched his hands into fists to stop himself.

Approaching the stall, you read the long list of flavours, cheering internally when reading your favourites. “I’ll have a scoop of cherry and green tea each.”

Jaehyun turned to you with a look of mild surprise. “You like green tea?”

His face was unreadable so you couldn’t figure out whether he liked that or not. “Yeah, I love green tea. Why?”

He blinked before forming a blinding smile. “I love green tea too.”

After the ice cream date, Jaehyun drove you back home, parking his car in front of your house. He was surprised to see his parents’ vehicle in the driveway. “My parents are here.”

You nodded wordlessly. Your parents didn’t mention anything about a meet up between the two families. They only knew that you were going out with Jaehyun. “Let’s both go in.”

When you strolled into the living room with Jaehyun behind you, laughter was heard as the folks shared stories of you two.

“What’s going on?” you asked.

The eyes of a woman, who you assumed was Jaehyun’s mother, lightened up. “Oh Y/N! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She pulled you into a crushing hug, which you tried to reciprocate with your locked arms.

“Same here,” you chuckled breathlessly.

She pulled back and beamed at you, eager to spill the breaking news. “We finalized your engagement date.”

All the colour had drained from your face and you took a quick side glance at your parents. They knew that you weren’t going to be happy with the news and had hidden it from you. “When?” you asked.

You were somewhat glad that the woman in front of you didn’t notice your fallen face. “In two weeks. And after that happens, we’ll decide on the marriage date.”

This was happening way too fast for your liking. Even though it was just an engagement, why were they so eager for it to happen quickly? “Isn’t two weeks a little too early? We’re still trying to get to know each other,” you reasoned.

Your future mother-in-law’s excitement didn’t falter the slightest bit. “Nonsense. I’ve heard that this is your third time seeing each other. And I’m sure that if you keep meeting up, you’ll have a better idea of each other by the time of the engagement. Plus, the date falls on my birthday and it would mean the world if my gift happened to be my son’s and future daughter-in-law’s engagement.”

You understood her feelings, and she was right. Two weeks should give you a better idea of Jaehyun, give you time to grow your feelings for him if you could. And it was only an engagement. A marriage in two weeks would have been more devastating.

You stared long at your father, silently pleading for him to still remember the condition set. Sensing that he knew what your eyes were trying to convey, he simply gave you a curt nod. Meanwhile, Jaehyun met your mother’s hopeful gaze, who offered him a tight smile, wishing that everything would go well between him and her daughter. You noticed your mother’s eyes being trained behind you and turned to the man. He observed the worried expression plastered on your face, his heart breaking a little at the thought of you not being excited for the marriage like the way he was.

- ❀ -

“Y/N! Please be our angel and help us out,” Taeyong pleaded over the phone.

“Of course I will. Why wouldn’t I?”

A moment of silence before he replied, “Because of what I’m about to suggest to you?”

After the phone call ended, you lied down on your bed, not believing your fate. Though it wasn’t actually all fate. This was Taeyong partly trying to play cupid.

Both Taeyong and Irene had to go out of town for the entire weekend, including their parents. But children were not allowed at the event, and their babysitter also happened to fall ill, leaving them with no other backup than have you look after the three children. You had never taken care of three children at once and he knew you were going to need a helping hand. And that was when Taeyong suggested that you babysat the three with Jaehyun.

Your fingers hovered over the screen before pressing on Jaehyun’s number. You had met up with him the past week, for casual hangouts and meals. Yet nothing much had happened in terms of you growing feelings for the said man. The engagement was exactly a week away, and you accepted your fate of having to wear a silver ring as you failed to find a flaw in him.

“Y/N?” Jaehyun sounded quite surprised that you called him for the very first time when it had always been him initiating it.

“Haha yes, it’s me.” You really wanted to hit yourself for still sounding awkward with him. “I actually called to ask you... like are you busy this weekend? I mean including overnight.”

“No, I’m not busy. What is it?”

“Are you okay to babysit kids with me?”

“Kids? Well yes, but whose kids are you talking about?” Jaehyun was ecstatic to spend the weekend with you, even if it meant having to look after some children. He was good with children and hoped he could get closer to you through this.

“They’re Taeyong’s kids. Remember Taeyong the one you met at the movies? Him and his wife are going to be away for the weekend, and he asked me to babysit them with you because there’s three of them. It’s for two days and we’ll have to stay at their house overnight. Is that okay?”

I am more than okay with the plan! Jaehyun thought. But to not scare you, he pushed down the excitement bubbling in his chest and calmly answered, “Yeah that’s fine. No worries.”

- ❀ -

Before you could even ring the bell, the door opened, revealing an overly joyful Taeyong. He threw himself on you, hugging you tightly and you laughed at him. He did the same to Jaehyun, flustering him greatly. “Thank you so much for coming, Jaehyun. Come in and leave your bags over here.”

Putting down your duffel bag to the side, you found Irene sitting on the couch with Aera in her baby walker. The baby squealed upon seeing you, bouncing on her tiny knees. “Hi Jaehyun. Thank you so much for helping out. I’m Irene.”

Jaehyun smiled at her. “Nice to meet you, Irene. And it’s no problem at all.” Taeyong led Jaehyun to the kitchen to explain the procedures that you had already memorized from the numerous times you had visited them.

“You two are literally our lifesavers,” Irene said to you.

You laughed. “It’s nothing. I’m sure it’s going to be fun with the kids.” And not as awkward with Jaehyun around, you thought.

She shook her head. “We’re leaving you two with a challenge, and Chunghee is going to be a real troublemaker for that.”

After an hour later, Taeyong and Irene finally left after placing a ton of kisses all over their youngest daughter. Aera was the only one awake at that time while the other two slept. Once you locked the door, you turned around to find Jaehyun introducing himself to the little one.

“Hi Aera, my name is Jaehyun, but you can call me Jae uncle. Let’s be friends, hmm?” Aera bounced on her knees again, beaming at him and did her signature baby laugh.

The adorable interaction between Jaehyun and the baby girl made your heart melt.

Shortly before a loud wail was heard down the far end of the hall.

“Oh that sounds like Jinae. I’ll go get her,” you said. Jaehyun gave you a nod complemented with a smile. Aera let out a high-pitched shriek to grab the uncle’s attention again.

On your way to Jinae, Chunghee sprinted past you into the living room, his doe eyes searching for his parents and instead was met with an unknown man sitting beside his sister.

“You must be Chunghee, right?” The little boy nodded with confusion written on his face. “I’m Jaehyun. Jae uncle you can call me.”

“Where’s mama and papa?”

“They already left. They’ll be back tomorrow.”

Chunghee hummed and walked over to the uncle, sitting beside his sister. “Are you auntie’s boyfwiend?” he asked.

The curiosity had pink paint over Jaehyun’s cheeks. He didn’t know what to call the relationship to a four-year-old. “Not boyfriend exactly but we’re getting married.”

Chunghee blankly stared at Jaehyun. “Do you like each other?”

Jaehyun’s breathing halted for a second. “Um, yeah but not really. I mean- I like her, but I don’t know what she feels.”

You walked back in the room, noticing a calm Chunghee trying to process something into his small developing brain, while Jaehyun sat with a faint blush covering his cheeks. Jinae had stopped crying as soon as her little eyes landed on you and fell back to sleep in your arms. You gently laid Jinae down on the couch and recalled the first mission that your friends gave you.

Have Jinae and Chunghee eat fruits.

Jinae was sleeping soundlessly so that meant Chunghee was going to be the first one to eat them, and that was the real mission.

“I’ll cut up some snacks,” you said.

Jaehyun got up to his feet. “I’ll cut them. You can relax with them.” He knew what snacks you were referring to, sending you a comforting smile before dashing off to the kitchen.

“Auntie?” Chunghee called out.

“Hm?”

“Do you like uncle?”

Flustered, you asked, “Why are you asking me that?”

“Uncle like you. But he not boyfwiend. And you gonna marry him.”

What?

Jaehyun liked you?

“Jaehyun uncle told you this?”

He nodded.

Jaehyun likes you, you thought repeatedly in your head.

But it didn’t mean anything when you didn’t feel the same way.

After a few minutes, the said man returned with a plate of fruit varieties chopped up into small pieces. “Okay Chunghee, eat up.” He placed the plate on the foam mat covering the floor, away from Aera in case her baby walker bulldozed over the snacks.

The little boy huffed and crossed his tiny arms. “No fruits!”

“It’s going to be difficult feeding him fruits. We’ll have to figure out a way to get him desperate to eat them,” you mentioned. You picked up this idea from a movie you watched a while back and the tactic worked on the child in the film.

Jaehyun nodded and in a gentle tone told Chunghee, “I’ll keep this out in case you change your mind and become hungry. Okay?”

“But you’re not going to get any other food until you eat these,” you added sternly, hoping the strictness in your voice would have Chunghee obey.

Chunghee’s scowl faltered, not believing your words. “You won’t do that,” he responded but there was a hint of shakiness in his words.

Jaehyun went with your flow. “We don’t want to but we’ll have to,” he ended the supposed scary words with a smile to not scare the little boy too much.

The rest of the day went on with Jinae getting along well with Jaehyun, Aera sleeping shortly, and Chunghee frowning. He was the only one remaining who hadn’t touched the fruits yet and you grew concerned. Dinnertime was fast approaching and if the boy didn’t get a proper meal, then he was going to throw a tantrum.

Jaehyun offered to cook for everyone and you were surprised that he took up the task solely. “Are you sure? I can help,” you offered.

He hesitated for a moment, thinking about something briefly before he raised his hand to cup your face delicately, smiling at you. “Don’t worry. I got this,” he breathed out quietly. He retracted his and made his way towards the kitchen. Little did both of you know the true effect that the small touch had on the other, both of your hearts beating erratically as Jaehyun hurriedly hid in the kitchen while you stood frozen in your spot.

Four bowls of food were set on the table. For you, Jaehyun, Jinae, and Aera (though baby safe).

“Woa!” Jinae exclaimed before digging into her food with her baby chopsticks. Jaehyun began feeding Aera spoonfuls in the form of an airplane swooshing in the air, making Aera squeal joyfully. You stifled back a laugh from how funny Jaehyun looked doing that.

Hearing a faint grumble beside you, you anxiously glanced at Chunghee. The plate consisting of his share of fruits was left abandoned in the living room. “Where’s my food?” he asked.

“You know the deal. First fruits, then food,” you answered.

Chunghee couldn’t believe his ears. His parents had always given up eventually, no matter how hard they tried to get him to eat the naturally sweet products. “I. Want. Food!” he screamed.

This caused Aera to start crying and Jinae to stop eating her food altogether. You gave Jinae a side hug, rubbing her arm and let out a deep sigh. “Chunghee, if you’re going to keep this up, go into the living room. Let your sisters eat. It’s not their fault that you don’t want to eat something that Jinae already had.”

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes. “You’re so mean!” he yelled and ran into the said room.

Jaehyun wiped Aera’s tears away and picked her up to soothe her, calmly her down shortly. “We’ll have to think of something else,” he told you.

“I don’t understand why Chunghee has such a huge problem with fruits,” you spoke. “He became like this ever since Ten looked after him one time.”

Jaehyun took in what you said, his mind raking up on a solution. “I think I can figure this problem out. Can you feed Aera while I go see him?”

You nodded. “Of course.”

Jaehyun found the little boy whimpering quietly as he hugged his legs to his chest. Chunghee’s sad eyes made Jaehyun feel a twinge in his heart. If there was something else behind it like a fear, he would have opted for a better solution.

Jaehyun sat down beside him. “I’m sorry,” he spoke tenderly.

The boy stayed put and sniffed, letting tears slide down his reddened cheeks. Jaehyun wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

“What’s wrong, Chunghee? Why won’t you eat fruits?”

Chunghee was still upset with his auntie and uncle, and so he didn’t respond back.

“How can I help you if you don’t tell me? Did Ten uncle say something bad about it?”

Those words stirred something inside the boy and he let his guard down. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

Bullseye. Jaehyun felt like he was close to solving the problem. “What did he say?”

Chunghee finally looked at the uncle with glistening eyes and answered, “Fruits will grow in my stomach.”

Fruits...

What?

Bewildered Jaehyun tried to compose himself before confirming. “So you won’t eat fruits because you’re scared that fruits will grow in your stomach?”

A nod.

Jaehyun faced away from the naïve boy and a smile threatened to spill onto his face. He was amused by the boy’s innocent fear, but at the same time he wanted to meet this Ten guy and smack him for installing the fear into the poor child. He turned serious again and softly said, “Chunghee, don’t worry because that’s not true. If it was, wouldn’t everyone be scared to eat it? Auntie and I wouldn’t have eaten it earlier if that was true. You saw us eat it, right?”

A glimmer of hope sparkled in his doe eyes. “It’s not?”

He smiled. “It’s not.”

“But seeds...”

“Yes, there are fruit seeds that you shouldn’t eat. But if you accidentally eat those, then they’ll come out of you when you go for a potty,” Jaehyun said, ruffling the boy’s hair. A smile finally emerged onto the little boy’s face and they laughed. “So are you going to trust us and your parents now to eat fruits?”

Chunghee hopped off the couch and grabbed the abandoned plate, at last popping a piece of chopped strawberry into his mouth. “I will.”

You were shocked to say the least for the boy to have finished up all the remaining fruits and had his meal with his siblings. You gave Jaehyun a questioning look, to which he smiled and mouthed ‘later.’

After a bit of playing around to digest the meal, you tucked Jinae and Chunghee in bed and walked back into the living room and found Jaehyun carrying Aera in the baby carrier, soothing her to sleep. Aera’s bed was separate from her older siblings as she needed more attention from adults. Thus, her bed was in the same room as Taeyong’s and Irene’s.

You thought back to your day spent with Jaehyun and the kids, amazed by how great Jaehyun was with small children. From looking after Aera to playing with Jinae to making Chunghee eat fruits. He really was going to be a great father one day. But was he going to be the father of your children?

Cute babies. Taeyong’s words echoed in your head.

With Jaehyun’s looks, there was no doubt about that. But did you really care about that? No. All babies were adorable no matter what.

Uncle like you. Chunghee’s words rang in your head just then, and you didn’t realize you were staring at him until he stared back at you, shaking you out of your thoughts. Clearing your throat, you spoke up an issue. “So Taeyong and Irene only have one bed, same room as Aera’s so...” you trailed off, not sure how Jaehyun was going to take that in.

He nodded, not displaying any emotions. “I can sleep on the couch here. You can take the bed.”

Your eyes widened. “No! I didn’t mean- I mean... we should probably start becoming comfortable with each other, you know?”

His lips formed a small ‘oh.’ “Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He didn’t want you to force yourself and feel uneasy.

This was your future husband for goodness sake. You had to become comfortable with him at one point in your life. “Yeah, I feel like I can trust you, especially since Aera will be in the same room too. Haha.” There you went sounding awkward again.

Jaehyun bit back a smile and nodded. “As long as you’re okay with it.”

In the bedroom, Jaehyun carefully laid sleeping Aera in her bed while you settled yourself on one side of the bed, facing away from Jaehyun’s side. You were glad that your friends selected a king-sized bed, giving you ample of space to maintain a comfortable distance from him. Jaehyun got under the shared blanket and before he switched off the nightlamp, he softly called for you. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

He silently drunk in the scene in his view. You next to him, a baby in her own bed, almost like a small family ready to doze off to dreamland. He wished this was what his future would look like, though only with you in it. “I really like you, Y/N,” he confessed and right away turned off the remaining light source, leaving your heart to hammer loudly in the dark.

- ❀ -

“Papa!” Chunghee ran into Taeyong’s open arms.

“My baby! Mwah,” Taeyong smooched the boy’s cheek with a wet kiss, making Chunghee shriek and run away.

Aera beamed in your arms upon seeing her mama’s face, making Irene take hold of the youngest and planted a haste kiss on her forehead.

Jinae waddled up to her papa, babbling for him to do the same with her as her super tiny arms rose up, asking to be picking up. Taeyong laughed and submitted, smooching a huge kiss onto her chubby cheek.

“How did it go? I hope the kids didn’t trouble you too much,” Irene said.

Jaehyun shook his head. “They didn’t trouble us. We managed to get Chunghee to eat fruits.”

Shock registered on Taeyong and Irene. “Did you just say Chunghee ate fruits?” Irene asked.

Chunghee beamed. “I did mama!”

Taeyong nodded his head slowly, letting the news settle in his brain. “Let me take you two out. As thanks for babysitting them and completing the mission.”

- ❀ -

Taeyong drove you and Jaehyun to his favourite coffee shop, the one you frequently visited with him that sold the most delectable pastries.

“I cannot believe I didn’t think about him having a fear, which makes sense because Ten also has a fear,” Taeyong said and took a bite of his strawberry Danish.

“Does Ten have the same fear?” Jaehyun asked.

You shook your head. “Nope. Apparently for Ten, it’s because fruits just look scary. I kind of find it funny that Ten thought of the whole seed thing and it grows in your stomach. It sounds so real and I’m sure a lot of people had that thought once in their life.”

Taeyong stopped chewing, a thought clicking to him. “You know Ten isn’t exactly wrong.”

Both you and Jaehyun stared at Taeyong, waiting for him to elaborate.

“How else do you make babies?”

“Lee Taeyong!” you yelled and slammed your hands on the table out of sheer embarrassment.

His laughter resonated in the café while Jaehyun’s cheeks burned red.

You grabbed Taeyong’s strawberry acai lemonade, taking huge sips of it as retribution. He whined and successfully retrieved it from you, shielding his body with it so that you wouldn’t steal it from him again.

You pouted. “Hey! I want some too!”

Taeyong took a quick glance at the silent one across from you, noting how Jaehyun’s eyes were masked with a hint of jealousy as he watched you be your playful self with your friend. Taeyong then met your eyes and nodded in Jaehyun’s direction. You frowned, not understanding what he was trying to hint at you. He casted his eyes on Jaehyun’s drink and later raised his own to take a sip. That was when it clicked you.

Your lips parted in surprise and turned to focus on the man across from you. His eyes were trained on swirling his drink with the straw. You cleared your throat, hoping you weren’t going to sound awkward. And of course, you failed. “Um, Jaehyun, can I um... try your drink?”

Jaehyun froze and lifted his gaze slowly. “Yeah of course,” he replied quietly and pushed his drink in your direction. You pressed your lips together on the straw, sipping the iced caramel macchiato. “Mmm,” you moaned. “This tastes better than Taeyong’s.”

“Hey! Don’t insult my drink!”

You laughed and stuck your tongue out at him while Jaehyun stared at you with a growing tender smile, super pleased that you liked his drink.

- ❀ -

[Two months later]

For the long weekend ahead of you, Taeyong and Irene planned a trip for you and Jaehyun to a rental vacation home. Now that you were engaged, Taeyong reasoned that a bachelor and bachelorette trip was a must. You were super grateful that your two friends also tagged along after dropping the kids off at Taeyong’s parents’ house.

It had been over a month ever since the engagement and even more hangouts, yet you still felt a little awkward with Jaehyun. After all, he was the man that you were eventually getting married to and you didn’t have any strong feelings of love for him.

Even if you did, you didn’t realize it.

Once arriving at the vacation home in the rental car, you were stunned by its exterior design. The neatly trimmed grass with small evergreen shrubs ran along the edges of the huge light up swimming pool, located off to the side from the entrance. The pool was surrounded by floor-to-ceiling rooms of the house, giving a few rooms a full view of the amenity. Even though you weren’t a fan of luxury, spending three days at that specific rental home sounded exciting.

The interior was just as jaw-dropping as the exterior and you spent the next few minutes walking around, familiarizing with the layout and where everything was located. Your friends and your fiancé were already sitting in the living room.

“This place is so cool!” you grinned.

“I’m glad you love it. Irene found this so it’s all thanks to her,” Taeyong said and pecked his wife on the cheek.

Irene squirmed. “Hey! Not in front of the kids!” she scolded her childlike husband.

You quirked an eyebrow up. “Excuse me? I am not a child.”

“You still are considered one until you’re married and have kids,” Taeyong stated.

You rolled your eyes at his words. He was right, and you felt like that with the way they treated you at times.

When the sun reached its peak midday, the four of you got into the vehicle and drove over to the closest supermarket with plans of stocking up on food and alcoholic drinks. You decided to split up into two groups, making Jaehyun hang around Taeyong while you walked with Irene.

Jaehyun pushed the cart into one of the aisles, containing a variety of pasta and sauces. “Can I make Italian for dinner tonight?” he asked.

Taeyong nodded. “Of course. Do you like Mexican? I can make that tomorrow.” Jaehyun nodded, giving him a weak smile. Taeyong noticed it and asked, “Is something wrong? It’s okay if you don’t like Mexican.”

Jaehyun stopped pushing the cart. “No, it’s not that. I...”

Taeyong waited patiently.

Jaehyun pressed his lips together before continuing. “I’ll tell you later.”

Meanwhile, you and Irene dumped whatever caught your sight into the cart.

“Y/N? Can I ask you something seriously?”

You let out a hum as a yes.

“How do you really feel about Jaehyun?”

You suddenly forgot how to read the labels on the shelves. Facing her, all that came out of your mouth was a ‘huh?’

Irene slowly repeated yourself, as if you had a hard time comprehending her words. “How do you feel with the engagement ring on your hand that Jaehyun put on? I’ve been seriously observing you the past months. Your actions, your words. Never do you talk about Jaehyun and you still act like you’re new with him.”

You blankly stared at the sparkling diamond ring resting on your third finger. Irene was right. You never talked about him, not giving him much of an interest. It was as if you had gotten used to having around him for the sake of your future being tied with his. “I don’t really know, Irene. I mean I do at times feel like I have a small crush on him. He is a good guy, but I don’t... I don’t know. Even though he already confessed to me that he likes me. Plus, he’s really calm...”

Irene was silent for a moment. “He is. But do you ever notice the way he’s like around you?”

You blinked confusedly. “What?”

“He’s always looking at you. I mean not in a creepy way. But he’s always smiling around you. Taeyong tells me how you don’t notice the little things with him and it sounds like Jaehyun gets jealous? Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves, expressing their love for their significant other. Jaehyun might not be obvious like Taeyong, but that doesn’t mean his love for you isn’t there.”

- ❀ -

Arriving back with the trunk full of groceries, it was finally time for Taeyong to have fun. Once all the groceries were put away in the kitchen, Taeyong sprinted out the glass doors, screaming high-pitched, and jumped into the swimming pool.

You laughed. “He really jumped in fully clothed.”

Irene sighed, walking over to him. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m a mother of four kids.” When Taeyong’s head popped up, she bent down close to the edge. “You should have at least changed into your swimming clothes,” she scolded.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he caught Irene off guard by pulling her into the water. She yelped, losing balance due to his strength, and felt the cold water hit her skin. “Taeyong! Are you crazy?” she yelled.

He laughed, pulling her into his arms. “I’m crazy for you, baby,” and smooched a wet kiss on her cheek.

You and Jaehyun ended up watching their adorable interaction from the sidelines of the pool and just then, Irene’s words voiced in your head.

Jaehyun might not be obvious like Taeyong, but that doesn’t mean his love for you isn’t there.

“Jaehyun?”

He turned to you. “Yes?”

“Do you know how to swim?”

He nodded. “Yeah I do.”

You pursed your lips. “I’m sorry.”

“For wha-”

You pushed him into the pool with all your strength, clutching your stomach as you laughed hard after he resurfaced. He gave you an amused smile with his hands on his hips. He loved that you were happily laughing at him, loved seeing you finally become playful with him.

“You know Y/N, it’s not fair that you’re the only one outside the pool,” Jaehyun teased you.

You agreed and backed up a few steps before running and jumping into the water. When your head resurfaced, you began splashing water on Jaehyun, to which he let out a hearty laugh and copied your actions.

Taeyong and Irene looked between you two in shock and then at each other. The husband took this opportunity to plant another huge fat kiss on his wife’s cheek, making her yelp again.

When the sky turned a shade darker and the hot humid air shifted slightly chillier, the four of you headed back inside to dry up. Of course, you were bound to share the bedroom with your fiancé, thankful of having previous experience with that. Jaehyun kindly let you use the room first, giving you privacy while he lazed on the outdoor chair, letting the sunset dry him up as much as it could before taking the matter in his own hands.

You stepped out of the ensuite bathroom, the covers of the floor-to-ceiling windows completely raised up and you spotted Jaehyun immediately. Knocking on the window, you got his attention right away and cued him that it was his turn.

Just like Jaehyun gave you privacy, you did the same for him.

You settled for the living room, the biggest area in the house. Taeyong and Irene were nowhere in sight, leaving you to entertain yourself. When you dug your hands into your pockets, you realized that your phone was forgotten in the bedroom.

If it was Irene or Taeyong in the room, you would have walked right in. But you stood outside the closed door, shifting on your feet and debating heavily as to what your next action should be. Knocking would be appropriate but this was your fiancé for heaven’s sake. You shouldn’t be knocking on the door for permission when this sort of thing was going to become a regular thing in the future.

You grabbed the doorknob, turning it clockwise and pushed it opened slightly. Your head peeked in, searching for him. When you couldn’t, thinking that he was already in the bathroom, you walked in cautiously. Right before you passed the bathroom, the door opened and out walked Jaehyun. His jeans and hair were still damp from the event earlier.

But what had you two react the way you did after was for the fact that he held his damp shirt in his hand, leaving his abs on fully display.

The speed at which both his and your eyes enlarged and twirled away from one another would make anyone think that both of you were not in a relationship. Let along engaged.

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were here,” he said and quickly put on his shirt. “I put my shirt on. You can turn around now.”

You let out an inaudible breath and turned, slightly disappointed to not see his abs anymore. “I’m sorry. I should have knocked but I thought... um...” You lost your words when a smile tugged at the ends of his lips.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you were comfortable enough to do that.”

You weren’t aware that your fiancé was in charge of dinner that night and was surprised to learn how much of a great chef Jaehyun was, even better than Taeyong as shocking as it sounded. Yes, he did cook before when babysitting but that was children-friendly, unlike the elegant cuisine of your favourite Italian dish that you had eaten in your first ever date with him.

- ❀ -

The next morning, you woke up feeling the bed occupied behind you. You stretched your limbs and turned around, suddenly forgetting how to breath when your eyes landed on Jaehyun’s sleeping face, facing in your direction. You wanted to touch his milky face, confirm whether it really was as soft as it seemed. His bare lips slightly parted and you wished to feel them on you.

Jaehyun felt a gaze on him and slowly fluttered his eyelids up. The eye contact had you jolt up from surprise while he stayed rooted in his lying position.

“I- I’m gonna go get ready,” you stuttered and bolted for the bathroom, locking the door behind you, and placed a hand over your racing heart.

Jaehyun sat up on the bed and smiled over how adorable you were. “Cute,” he whispered.

After breakfast, Taeyong and Jaehyun decided to go hiking nearby while you and Irene laid down on the outdoor lounge chairs, sprawling under the morning light.

The hiking trail was not too long and both men had reached the top in no time. Emerging from the trees, they were blessed by the breathtaking view of the mountains with a river that separated the mountains from where they stood. The morning birds chirped nearby, and the light breeze carried the echoes to their ears.

“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered. He felt as if a blanket was draped over him. A beautiful blanket consisting of your warmth.

“Beautiful, right?”

He nodded. “I wish Y/N and Irene came with us.”

“Same. I try to get Irene to come with me whenever I’d go hiking. But she would rather rest at home. I don’t blame her. Taking care of three small children is a lot.” Taeyong looked at the Jaehyun. “I don’t know how I survived all the times I had to do it by myself and Y/N always cracks jokes about me suffering.”

Jaehyun glanced at him with a small smile before turning back to the view.

Though Taeyong’s gaze was still locked on him. “Jaehyun?”

He took a deep breath, willing himself to take the time and ask your friend something that had been on his mind since the beginning. “How is Y/N so comfortable with you? I wish she could be like that with me.” Jaehyun was glad that he was starting to see you become comfortable with him during the trip. Even though it made his heart super happy, he craved for more from you.

Taeyong’s eyebrows raised up when finally learning the issue. “Well, that’s something that will depend on time. And the person too. When she first met me, I was a hot chubby mess, always clumsy and super clingy to my friends. I was naughty too, playful and pulling pranks. That’s how Y/N’s always seen me as since elementary school.”

The speed at which Jaehyun whipped his head to the man beside him had Taeyong chuckling. “Elementary... that long?” That all made sense to him. Being friends with Taeyong that long would only make you feel so at ease around him. And with that fact, another wave of jealousy hit him. How could Jaehyun beat that time before the marriage? Jaehyun was nowhere near Taeyong’s personality and he envied that to a great extent. On top of that, he didn’t want you to feel forced to marry him when you weren’t sure about it yourself.

A hand patted lightly on Jaehyun’s head. “Aigoo, is Jaehyunie jealous?” Taeyong teased.

Heat rose up to his cheeks, bluntly denying him, resulting in a roar of laughter from the married one.

“Don’t worry, Jaehyun. You’re a really good guy and I really think Y/N will like you back one day.” Sure, Taeyong was your best friend, but even he couldn’t figure out where a girl’s heart truly lied unless he had a chat with you. Regardless though, he would try to push you closer to Jaehyun, hoping that you’d break your assumed thoughts and give your fiancé a chance. A strong intuitive feeling of his told him that you and Jaehyun were destined to be together.

- ❀ -

Never Have I Ever.

That was a game that Taeyong had prepared for this trip. He had searched up a bunch of questions and written them down on a list of paper in case someone had a hard time to come up with a statement. The original game that he had planned included alcoholic drinks, but Irene had changed it to holding a hand up.

“Why? I wanted to drink!” Taeyong whined while wiggling in his seat.

Irene tsked. “Not right now. We’ll drink after dinner.”

He pouted, eventually agreeing with her words. Even though he was in charge of dinner that night, he couldn’t stop the desperate feeling of having one drink beforehand. “Okay, let’s start.” Taeyong spun an empty water bottle on the dining table and the opening pointed at Irene.

“Wow.” She picked up the list and scanned through the questions, immediately catching sight of one. “Never have I ever thrown a drink at someone,” she said and gave her husband an unamused look.

Only Taeyong raised his arm, knowing exactly what she was thinking about. And to his defense, he responded, “Come on, baby. You saw that guy! He was being rude to his mother. How could I not do anything?”

“But you could have talked it out. You didn’t have to throw your drink at him. We nearly got kicked out of the restaurant before we could even get our meal.”

“I would have made dinner for us then!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Okay guys, don’t fight,” you talked over them and grabbed the list from Irene, rolling your eyes at one of the questions. “Never have I ever fought in public.” You knew right away who were going to put up their hands.

Taeyong and Irene.

Irene crossed her arms. “Taeyong can get so childish when it comes to stuffed animals and chocolates that I have to nag him.”

Taeyong pouted. “Hey! At least I’m setting a good role model that adults should be child at heart, baby.”

But what you didn’t expect was that Jaehyun raised his hand up as well. “Well I wouldn’t say public like that, but I would hold onto my stand at work, which would raise some disputes. I know when to give up, but I can’t let a project go down the wrong path for the sake of maintaining peace in the company.”

You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with that, and you liked that thing about Jaehyun.

Taeyong grabbed the list from you, going next. “Never have I ever went on a solo vacation.” Taeyong never went on one, and wished he never did. Where was the fun when you weren’t on an adventure with someone?

Jaehyun was the sole person to raise his arm and you were aware of what he was implying to. He had informed you that he would be gone for some business in Paris a few weeks back and asked if you wanted to join him. Jaehyun felt bad for leaving you, but you spending a whole week in Paris with only him made your stomach lurch. Whether in a good way or bad, you didn’t know, thus rejecting his offer. You weren’t ready for such a stage in the relationship despite being newly engaged back then.

Pushing his broken heart aside, he explored the city in his free time. But he couldn’t stop thinking about you throughout the whole trip, even during the conferences that he was there for. Trips were something he used to enjoy solely. But after meeting you, he would have liked them better if he was with you.

He pushed the feeling aside and merely answered, “I went to Paris, mainly for business though.” He then asked something interesting that caught his attention on Taeyong’s list. “Never have I ever broken someone’s bone.”

You turned to Taeyong, shooting him a ‘what the hell’ look. “What kind of question is that?” Breaking your own bone was understandable. But why on earth would someone break someone else’s bone?

As expected, no one else except for the man himself raised his arm and chuckled. “I tweaked the question up because I technically did.”

Irene sighed. “It wasn’t you. It was on accident and it wasn’t Chunghee’s fault either.”

He sighed feeling a bit dejected. “I know but I feel responsible for what happened to Ten. Like I should have taught Chunghee better. Anyway, let’s move on.”

It was Irene’s turn again, and this time she yelped at reading one of the questions near the bottom of the page. “Never have I ever went skinny-dipping. What the hell, Taeyong?”

No one had raised their hand, and you were thankful for it because you wouldn’t know what to do with that information if either your married friends or your fiancé had done it before.

Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows at his wife suggestively, making her smack him hard in the chest and causing a windshield wiping laughter from him. “I really think it should be on our bucket list, babe,” he said.

“TAEYONG!” she screamed.

He laughed at her while you retrieved the list. “Never have I ever lived alone.” You had always either lived with your parents or had roommates when away from home. Taeyong and Irene were high school sweethearts, and so their only home away from their parents were with each other.

Jaehyun raised his arm solely once again. “I actually live on my own right now. I have my own place,” he answered. He never suggested to bring you over to his place, assuming that you were still awkward with him. Therefore, he only ever took you to public places to prevent you from feeling uncomfortable.

A phone rang, making Irene pick up her phone. “Hey Yeri.” Yeri was a mutual friend of yours and Irene’s and based on the muffled sounds from the other end of the line, you assumed that she was crying. “Oh no, just hold on for a second.” Turning to you guys, she said, “I’ll go talk to her outside.”

“I’ll come,” you added. You didn’t know what the issue was, but two heads were better than one.

“Alright. And Taeyong, do not drink out of my sight. You hear me?” Irene pointed her index finger at him as she reprimanded him.

Taeyong sulked like a sad puppy upon hearing his wife’s words. Once the two of you were out of sight, a smirk formed on his face and he turned to Jaehyun, wiggling his eyebrows alluringly.

Jaehyun acted dumb, not wanting to get in trouble for encouraging Taeyong and avoided his eyes.

Taeyong nudged Jaehyun in the elbow, making the latter sigh in defeat. “This is about drinking, isn’t it?”

He nodded eagerly.

But Jaehyun shook his head. “No.”

Taeyong deflated. “Why?” he wailed.

“You’re going to get in trouble. Didn’t Irene just warn you?”

“I always get in trouble by her. It’s nothing new. I really wanna drink.”

Jaehyun was in a huge debate. Should he let Taeyong drink? Would you get mad at him for letting your friend drink?

“Come on, man. Please?” The puppy look was too irresistible for Jaehyun to stop him. One drink wouldn’t hurt Taeyong, would it?

“Okay, I guess a little won’t hurt you.”

Taeyong’s eyebrows raised in amusement. “You mean us. We’re both drinking.”

After comforting Yeri with her boyfriend issue, Irene decided to call her in-laws and check up on the kids while you headed back to search for the boys and see what they were up to.

Only to witness the scene in front of you absolutely shocking.

Both Taeyong and Jaehyun unquestionably wasted.

Numerous bottles were littered everywhere on the dining table where the four of you previously played a game. Knowing that Taeyong was a lightweight, the majority of the bottles had to belong to Jaehyun. Like a koala bear to a tree, Taeyong clung onto Jaehyun from behind, splattering kisses on your fiancé’s cheeks and nuzzling his nose into Jaehyun’s skin. From the looks of it, Jaehyun didn’t seem bothered at all by your friend with the dimples on his flushed cheeks.

But you were.

“Taeyong! Let him go! That’s my fiancé you’re kissing!” you yelled and strolled over to them. Trying to split up your drunk friend from your future husband was close to impossible. When Taeyong was drunk, his strength nearly doubled. The only other approach to get Taeyong off Jaehyun was for you to take a deep breath and release a bloodcurdling scream.

Startled, Taeyong let go of Jaehyun and stumbled over his steps, landing flat on his butt. The loss of human physical contact had Taeyong become a crying mess, but you didn’t pay any attention to his melodramatic tears. Because right after that moment, Jaehyun wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. He took a deep breath of your scent and sighed in content. “Mmm, you smell nice Y/N.”

Your heart thrashed in your chest and all you could hear was your blood pumping loudly in your ears. All you could feel was the warmth of his arms around you with the tip of his soft nose pressed into your cheek.

When Irene reappeared and quickly sunk in the scene, she ran up to her husband. “Taeyong! Did I not warn you earlier?” she shouted. Taeyong was going to have a tough time from Irene when he sobered up.

Once Irene dragged her wasted husband to their bedroom, you were clueless of what to do with clingy Jaehyun and later chose to follow your friend’s idea. After much difficulty of attempting to pull him inside the bedroom, you dropped him on the bed.

Right before you left his side, you heard him faintly mumble the words, “I love you, Y/N,” before dozing off.

- ❀ -

“Y/N, Jaehyun, can you two go to the market and grab some food for the long drive home?” Taeyong asked.

The last morning of your time at the rental vacation home had arrived. Thanks to the drunken men from the day before, food stock had been used up considerably quick to battle their hangovers.

“Sure. Whenever you’re ready,” Jaehyun said to you.

You pursed your lips and nodded. Frankly speaking, you were beginning to feel uncomfortable with Jaehyun ever since you heard his confession. Even though it wasn’t the first time to hear him confess to you, ‘I love you’ was a lot more deeper than ‘I like you’ and you were more than glad that he had said it while he was drunk. If he was sober, you would have had no idea on how to respond back. It wasn’t necessarily his feelings that you were bothered by, but your own. You didn’t know where your heart was for him and that was what made you uncomfortable.

Taeyong tossed the car keys to Jaehyun while discreetly sending a wink in your direction. You rolled your eyes, aware that your friend was only trying to get you closer to Jaehyun.

The drive to the market was tortuously silent as you focused your gaze on the faraway mountains and grass fields.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Jaehyun began. “I didn’t know Taeyong’s light and when he’s drunk, it’s hard to refuse him.” Taeyong had forced bottle after bottle on the poor man, not stopping until Jaehyun was drunk like him.

You stifled back a small laugh. “It’s okay. I’ve seen it before. But do you remember what happened?”

He frowned and shook his head. “Did something embarrassing happen?”

“Well, I would say something entertaining happened. You and Taeyong were quite something.”

He paled, keeping his eyes glued to the road. “What did we do?”

You laughed. “I wished I recorded you two, but I guess I’ll forever cherish it in my memories.”

At the market, Jaehyun pushed the cart and your hand rested on the side of it. Halfway through, Jaehyun felt his phone vibrate. Seeing the caller’s name displayed, he sighed, slightly annoyed at the phone. “Sorry Y/N, I need to take this call.”

You were surprised that he was telling you, yet hummed in response.

He thanked you and answered the call, keeping his volume low. “Hello? Didn’t I tell you not to call me?” You weren’t trying to mind his conversation but sort of ended up eavesdropping. “Just talk to Jade for me, will you? Thanks.” He hung up the call, taking a deep breath before smiling at you and resumed the grocery shopping.

What was that about, you thought.

- ❀ -

“Oh my love! I’m so excited to finalize your marriage date,” your mother gushed. “The time has finally come!”

You stayed mute, letting your mother begin daydreaming of all the things that would happen at your wedding. Recalling the condition set in the beginning, your father asked if there was a valid reason to break it off. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to come up with a single reason for why you shouldn’t marry Jaehyun.

Why did he have to be so flawless, you thought.

When the doorbell rang, your mother gave you a gentle push, cuing you to open the door. With a huge deep breath in and out, you attempted to put on your best polite smile and swung the door open. “Good afternoon, please come in,” your tone laced with such fake enthusiasm that you had never displayed to your future in-laws.

Mrs. Jung walked in and pulled you into, once again, a crushing hug. “Oh it really is a good afternoon, Y/N. Let’s get your wedding talk going!” Once Jaehyun’s parents strolled to the direction of the living room, you shifted your gaze to the man himself, standing still on the porch.

“Um, you can come in too. Haha.” You weren’t ever going to stop feeling awkward with him, were you?

Though Jaehyun only held a neutral expression. No smile or sparkle in his eyes. And it made you worry if he was okay.

“Jaehyun?”

“Y/N?” he called softly.

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sucked in a breath and asked, “Can I hug you?”

You blinked again. Physical touches were going to be basic intimacy after marriage so he shouldn’t have to ask you for one. But then, nothing much had happened between you two in terms of it except for a few, and you thought he was only being a gentleman. He had only hugged you once and that was when he was drunk. “Yes, of course.”

He closed the distance between you two and wrapped his arms around your waist, flushing his warmth against yours. You felt butterflies in your stomach when he placed his chin on your shoulder, staying like that for what felt like a minute, just basking in your warmth before he pulled away. The slight smile he sent your way, not quite reaching his eyes, made your heart drop.

“Let’s go in,” he muttered and held your hand in his gently.

Your heart would have fluttered at the contact, but you didn’t like the feeling that began to settle in your stomach.

After you two walked in, Mrs. Jung began. “Now that everyone’s here, let’s think of-”

“Mom,” Jaehyun cut his mother off quietly but firmly enough to be heard, making her blink at him in surprise.

“What is it, son?” his father asked. Jaehyun was never the type to interrupt elders. But at that moment, he couldn’t let them begin planning, getting their hopes up when it wasn’t going to happen.

He let go of your hand and glanced at your mother. “I can’t do this.”

You were beyond confused with him. “Do what?”

He turned to you, his eyes holding sorrow. “This marriage.”

The eerie silence that followed was broken by your mother. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N wanting to break it off, does it?”

You gaped at her. “This is my first time hearing about this. I didn’t know either.”

“There’s literally no reason why he would be calling it off,” she countered.

“Mrs. L/N, this doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N. It’s my decision. I’m just not ready. I’m sorry.” Jaehyun lowered his gaze to the floor while you incredulously looked at him.

Not ready? My foot! There was no way he wasn’t ready for this marriage. After the confessions, after all his smiles. He wouldn’t have continued taking interest in you if he was going to break it off.

“Jaehyun, this is unacceptable. You should have told us beforehand,” his mother scolded.

“And I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want anyone to know so that everyone knows this is my decision. I’m not being influenced by anyone for this.” He raised his eyes to meet your parents. “I apologize, once again, Mr. and Mrs. L/N.” Without giving you a glance, he turned on his heels and strode towards the entrance.

Your head was spinning, your heart aching for an unexplainable reason as you watched the man disappear out the front door. It happened. It finally happened. After all this time of you wanting the marriage to be called off.

But why weren’t you happy?

Jaehyun stepped out of your house, feeling slightly less suffocated and released the held back tears. He pulled out his phone, dialing a number and pressed it against his ear.

After the second ring, the call was answered. “Hey Jaehyun! What’s up?” Taeyong’s cheery greeting almost broke Jaehyun yet he willed himself to stay strong.

“Taeyong, can we meet tonight?”

- ❀ -

Jaehyun asked for Taeyong to pick him up. With the plan he had for that night, he wasn’t going to be in the right condition to drive. Taeyong had gotten the news from you prior to the meet that Jaehyun had called off the wedding. While Taeyong was childish at times, he knew when to act responsibly and had opted for cola when Jaehyun ordered spirits.

You didn’t take the news well either and Taeyong could tell instantly by your voice. He was going to talk to you later in person when Jaehyun had reached out to him first.

First come, first served.

Taeyong pressed his back to his chair and watched the man across down his shots. The food had been left abandoned as alcohol became a source of comfort for the broken hearted.

“I- I couldn’t do it to Y/N,” Jaehyun choked out. “I can’t let her marry me when she doesn’t love me. I can’t let her feel that she’s being forced to marry me when she doesn’t want to. Not once has she ever admitted her feelings to me. It’s like she’s only doing this for her parents.”

Taeyong sighed. “Jaehyun, I think you shou-” He bit back his words upon hearing a sob. The sobs had progressively increased, and tears flooded down Jaehyun’s reddened cheeks. Taeyong rushed to his side and guided Jaehyun’s head to his chest, hugging him as he soothingly patted his head.

The sobs had only lessened when Jaehyun choked out, “I love her too much, Taeyong. I just want her to be happy.”

- ❀ -

Your eyes fluttered open, the light breeze gently swaying the sheer white curtains that hung off the rods of your canopy bed. A soft breath left your parted lips and the aching hole in your heart continued to consume you. Your hand laid beside your head, the sparkling diamond ring still resting on your finger. While you didn’t know if your fiancé, ex fiancé, had taken the ring off, you didn’t have the courage to take off yours.

Irene answered the door and was astonished by your surprise visit. “Y/N, what a surprise. And you don’t look good...” she trailed off.

And you weren’t expecting otherwise when you felt like shit.

She ushered you in, and your eyes skimmed throughout the home, getting flashbacks to the times spent babysitting with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun.

You sniffed and tried to push your incoming tears back. “Is Tae...”

She shook her head. “He got an urgent call from work so he’s going to be there till late night. I heard about Jaehyun.”

You merely nodded, not sure what to say.

Irene placed a hand on your shoulder. “Do you want to talk?”

You chewed on your lips and shook your head. You had no idea what to say when you were confused by your feelings. At times like that, you’d go to Taeyong. He knew you more than your parents, more than anyone in the world, and would have a better idea of what you were feeling before you could realize it yourself. Until Taeyong arrived, you were going to quietly seek comfort from your friend and the little angels.

Chunghee came into sight and his eyes landed on you, running to you. Your typical reflex would have been a cheerful smile and have your arms open for him to run into. But you didn’t do that. The little boy’s steps slowed upon approaching you, noticing something was off when not met with the usual response. “What’s wong, auntie?”

A cry that you recognized belonging to Aera pierced through the rooms, making Irene leave the two of you alone.

Jinae had waddled into the living room, her eyes forming crescent moons, delighted to see you. She wobbled up to your legs and held onto your leg for support. You sat down on the floor and pulled her into your lap. You forced a smile at Chunghee. “Nothing. Auntie’s okay.”

Chunghee sat down beside you, looking around the room. “Where’s Jae uncle?”

Your heart stopped at the mention of his Jaehyun uncle. You were flattered that he liked him enough to ask about his whereabouts. “He... Jae uncle isn’t with me anymore.”

He stared at you. “Not together?” You shook your head. “Why?” he whined.

“What do you mean why?”

He pouted, and if it weren’t for the gaping hole in your heart, you would have laughed at how much he resembled Taeyong. “I like you and uncle together.”

“I guess we’re not meant to be together.”

With a scowl on his face, he yelled, “No! You two are!”

Jinae kept her tiny gaze on you and released a ‘humph,’ agreeing with her brother’s words.

- ❀ -

Taeyong had received a warning from Irene to not make noise when entering home at night. His gaze fell onto the figure sprawled on the couch, facing the backrest. On his tip toes, he quietly moved towards it and peeked over to see your face. You were fast asleep with signs of puffy eyes, hinting that you were crying recently.

“You’re such a fool,” he whispered and kissed your head.

The next morning, you woke up, being greeted with a cheery Taeyong who dragged you to the dining table for breakfast. Even though you weren’t in the mood to, he nagged you into going out for a walk with him so that you could digest your meal. It made you think back to Jaehyun when he suggested the same thing on your second official date. You were secretly thankful that Taeyong dragged you out the door as your limbs were aching for some movement after being cooped up indoors due to your gloomy mood.

Spotting an unoccupied bench, the two of you sat down for a short break. “The weather is beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, staring up at the fluffy clouds in the bright blue sky.

You puffed out as your gaze was fixed on the pebbles along the path. “I don’t know what to do. Why am I feeling like this?”

He snickered. “If I was in Jaehyun’s spot, I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if I loved you.”

“Hey! Is that an insult?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Seriously, only Jaehyun is supposed to be hurting right now. Why are you getting affected? Wasn’t this what you wanted all this time?”

It was.

But...

“Yeah... but I don’t know. I’m so confused. Jaehyun really is a good guy. But I- I don’t know.”

Taeyong watched you softly. “You know what the problem is?”

You scowled. “If I knew the problem, I wouldn’t be here with you and stressed out.”

He smiled warmly. “Your problem is that you’re holding onto your biased thoughts. The type of guys your parents had set you up with previously have been ones you didn’t like. So now that there’s a guy who is perfect for you, you can’t see that. Plus, all your life you wanted a love marriage. The second your parents interfered and tried to set you up for an arranged one, you thought love would never happen.”

You let his words sink in and felt a piercing stab in your heart after hearing his words. You wanted to fall in love the way you thought you would back when you were a teenage girl. You wanted to fall in love with the one you were destined to be with like the way it would occur in movies. Not through having blind dates with prospective partners.

“Y/N, let me ask you something and I want you to forget that you had ever met Jaehyun the way you did.”

That felt like another stab in your heart, even if hypothetical.

“If you never met Jaehyun through a blind date, but instead met him in another way, would your feelings change for him?”

If you met Jaehyun as a classmate, or as a mutual friend, or colleague, or even as someone you bumped into randomly on the streets, would your feelings change? “My head hurts,” you complained and slouched against the bench.

He tutted. “This isn’t something to use your brain for. What do you feel in your heart, Y/N? Would your feelings change? Would you then accept your love for Jaehyun?”

Love...

For Jaehyun.

You stood up from the bench, suddenly feeling a rush of emotions surging inside you. You began trembling, becoming hyper aware of what you had been doing all this time. You had been pushing away your feelings for him. Unknowingly had been denying your love for him. “Oh my God...” you breathed out. “Why am I so dumb?”

If you had met Jaehyun in any other way, then you would have realized your feelings way earlier.

Taeyong placed his hands on your shoulder, gently turning you around to face him. “You realize it now,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t see his face as your sight became blurry from the tears welled up in your eyes. “Why am I so stupid?” you cried, and Taeyong pulled you into his embrace, stroking your hair. Wet patches formed on his shirt as you sobbed in his chest.

Your friend kissed the top of your head. “After all this time of you wanting a love marriage, you didn’t even realize that the love of your life had been in front of you all along.”

“He’s never gonna forgive me,” you choked out.

Pulling away from you, he wiped your fresh tears off with his fingers. “He will. He loves you too much to hate you. Also,” he grabbed his phone from his pocket and did some tapping. Your phone chimed, displaying an address under your unread message. “That’s his address, the one where he lives on his own. Go to him, Y/N. Tell him your true feelings.”

- ❀ -

Jaehyun doesn’t hate you. He loves you.

With that thought, you quit being hesitant and rang the doorbell. Your foot tapped impatiently as you waited for a short time. When the door opened, you were met with a shocked Jaehyun. “Y/N?” Your name fell from his lips in disbelief, as if to see you again, let alone at his place, would be a dream.

A nod. “Yup. It’s me. Haha,” you chuckled nervously. “Taeyong gave me your address.”

He hit himself mentally for keeping you standing. “Come in.”

You walked in and weren’t surprised for the vibe his place radiated. After all the money spent on your dates, and being your parents’ selection, you expected he’d own a deluxe home, his being a modern bachelor pad. You couldn’t help but think back to a particular set of words when you second met him at the theater.

“Would you like anything? Coffee or tea?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No. I’m fine. Well... actually water.”

He nodded. “Of course. Please sit.” He shuffled his way to where you assumed was the kitchen. Out of sight, you cautiously sat down on the couch, scanning your eyes around.

Jaehyun came back with a tall glass of water, handing it to you. You thanked him and took a few sips before resting it on the coffee table. Your eyes landed on his ring finger, stunned to see the engagement ring still there. “You’re still wearing it,” you muttered.

He followed your line of sight and caught on to what you were referring to. Quickly, he placed his other hand on top to hide the ring from your sight. “Oh, um...” He glanced at your own hand and noticed it there as well. “Oh, you too?”

Nodding, you said, “Yeah, I...”

He kept his eyes trained on you, waiting for you to continue and explain for the sudden visit.

“I’m such an idiot,” you muttered under your breath.

He raised his eyebrows, hearing you clearly. “Why?”

“Because I didn’t realize that I loved you all this time.”

He froze upon hearing your confession for the first time, and his heart began beating faster. “You love me?” he asked, needing to make sure he wasn’t hearing things.

You nodded and laughed quietly. “If it weren’t for Taeyong to make me realize it, then I wouldn’t be sitting here with you. And I’m sorry that I’m late. I’ve been blind all this time because we were arranged, you know? I thought love wasn’t going to happen. But I’m so dumb to not realize it despite all the times you’ve made my heart flutter.”

A blinding smile took over his face and you were relieved to see it again. “I made your heart flutter?” Jaehyun’s heart was far from okay with your confession. There were rare times where he could figure out if he moved your heart, but you masked your emotions most of the time.

“You sure did. I’m seriously such a fool to not have- argh!” you groaned, frustrated with yourself.

He laughed happily, pleased with the effect he had on you. “Better now than never. So you love me? Like you don’t have any problem with me?”

Which reminded you... “Well, there is one thing.”

His smile faltered, anxious for what you had to state. “Yeah?”

You pressed your lips together. “What was your friend’s name? Johnny was it? At the movies. he mentioned something that you were devoted to your work, and I can tell you’re someone of higher position. Will that mean I might not be able to see you at times because you’ll be busy?”

His lips formed an ‘oh’ and his smile returned. “You’re right. I do work at a managerial position, so it is possible for me to be away. But did you ever feel that whenever I was with you? That I chose work over you?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t.”

“Good.”

“Huh?”

He grinned. “Remember our trip at that supermarket and I got a call? It was from work. Actually, that weekend our team had an urgent project to work on, but I was able to get someone reliable to cover for me so that I could spend time with you.”

Oh my God...

“Work is inevitable and rare cases I’ll have to be away from you. But I will do anything and everything I can to put you first.” His smile dropped quickly when noticing your tears. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

You sniffed back the wave about to hit you. “You’re too perfect. I don’t deserve you.”

The dimples that you loved so much reappeared, and he wiped your tears away. “Nonsense. More like I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” you pouted, frowning.

He laughed and patted your head. “You’re so cute.”

Your cheeks burned with adoration for him, and you caught him off guard when you hastily leaned forward and pecked him on his lips. You pulled back and found him blushing.

Out of embarrassment, you diverted your gaze, looking at anything but his eyes. Jaehyun gently held your face in his hands and turned you to meet his twinkling eyes. “I love it when you surprise me, Y/N.”

You grinned and pecked his lips for the second time, wanting to feel his soft velvety lips again.

Surprised, he let out a hearty laugh. “Someone’s desperate for my lips.”

“After all this time, I can’t believe I didn’t kiss you once. Maybe that would have changed my mind and accepted you faster,” you joked.

He shook his head, smiling in amusement, and was startled when you threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily. Jaehyun responded back, pulling you into his tight embrace and kissed back in a feverish manner. You moaned and combed your hand through his hair, earning a deep growl from him. You pulled back after what felt like a minute, both of you panting heavily. He stared into your eyes, and as a confirmation whispered, “You’ll be my wife.”

You chuckled breathlessly. “I’ll be your Mrs. Jung.”

He crashed his lips onto yours, moving more roughly. He left your lips and trailed down below your jawline, leaving a wet trail on your neck. Your moans increased in volume and he was pleased by how sensitive you were just from his lips on your skin. He pulled back and watched your reaction.

You whined at the loss of contact. “Stop teasing me.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “You want more?”

You definitely did. “Please?” You batted your eyelashes.

A smirk grew on his face. “Of course.” He placed his hands behind your back and knees, lifting you up into his arms bridal style. On the way to his bedroom, the two of you didn’t stop the kisses. He put you down gently on the bed and crawled over you, closing the distance between you two as he gave all of his love to you.

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

drunk mistakes ~ johnny depp

word count: 1576

request?: yes!

“If you write for Johnny Depp, can I request one where he and the reader have known each other for a while and he's madly in love with her but he's too shy to ask her out, afraid she would never like him because she's younger. Then one day at a party she gets drunk and kisses him, and the next morning she doesn't exactly remember it and he's hurt because the kiss made his feelings way stronger. After some days of Johnny being down, she talks with him and he finally confesses <3″

description: when she wakes up in her best friend’s bed and barley remembers the night before, their friendship is strained until she gets him to confess a secret he’s been keeping for years

pairing: teen!johnny depp x female!reader

warnings: swearing, underaged drinking, smoking

masterlist (one, two)

I groaned as the light hit my face, causing my head to pound as if it had been filled with nails. I felt like garbage. Why did I drink so much? Why did my friends let me drink so much?

I rolled over so my back was to the window, only to find a body in bed next to me. Despite the throbbing pain in my head, I yelped in shock and sat up quickly. That’s when I realized I wasn’t in my room and felt panic rising within me. What had I done last night? Or I guess who had I done?

My reaction woke the person sleeping next to me and I breathed out a sigh of relief when I realized it was my best friend, Johnny, and we were in his bedroom - luckily, both fully clothed.

“Sorry,” I sighed. “Forgot where I was for a second.”

“That would require you to remember getting here,” Johnny teased. “You were pretty drunk when I brought you here.”

He had a point. The last thing I remembered from the night before was arriving at my friend’s house for a part and immediately having a drink shoved in my hand. I didn’t even remember seeing Johnny at the party.

I laid back down and groaned again at the pain in my head. Johnny chuckled and got up to get me water and an Aspirin. I noticed my phone on the bedside table next to me and cringed at the thought of how many angry texts I likely had from my parents. I was pleasantly shocked to see the only text on my lock screen was from my mom, and it read, “Okay honey, text us in the morning.”

When Johnny returned, I turned my phone to face him. “Did you text my parents for me? There’s no way they’d be this calm if I texted them in my drunken state.”

Johnny chuckled in response. “You really don’t remember that?”

I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything from last night.”

His joking smile slowly fell. He passed me the glass of water and Aspirin and turned away from me. His voice was flat as he said, “You asked me to text them for you so they wouldn’t know you were drunk. I told them you stayed at Winona’s for the night.”

I swallowed the pill with a giant mouthful of cold water, which felt like heaven in my dry mouth.

“Why did I come here?” I asked. “I usually do stay at Winona’s when she throws a party.”

“You insisted on coming over. You crashed in my bed and...”

He trailed off. He still wouldn’t face me and I was starting to feel concerned. I got up and approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He pulled away from me, immediately heading towards his bedroom door again.

“I forgot there was...something my parents asked me to do. You can let yourself out, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Johnny, wait - ”

He closed the door on me before I could say anything else.

~~~~~~

Johnny ignored me the next day. He didn’t sit with us at lunch, and the one class he and I had together he skipped. I tried to text and call, I even went over to his house but his parents told me he wasn’t home.

This went on for a week. No one would tell me why. They kept claiming they didn't know what was happening, but I could tell when I was being lied to, especially by my friends.

Winona was my best friend, and it was her party I went to the day before Johnny stopped talking to me. She had to know the answers, and I knew she’d tell me eventually.

“I don’t know what happened,” she insisted. “We were all drunk, we were all doing stupid stuff.”

“We always stick together at parties, you had to have witnessed whatever I did to make Johnny mad.”

Winona looked at me and started to walk away. I weaved through the crowded school hallway to catch up with her. I took hold of her arm to stop her from walking and turned her to face me. “Winona, please. He’s my best friend, my other best friend. He hasn’t spoken to me in a week. Whatever I did, I need to fix it.”

She sighed before taking my arm and dragging me towards the girls bathroom. She checked the stalls to see if anyoone else was there before finally turning to face me again.

“You kissed Johnny.”

“What?!”

“Shh!” she said, glancing at the door behind me. “You were really drunk, and Johnny was kind of tipsy. Being the caring friend he is, he was trying to get you to drink water so you wouldn’t get too hungover. You told him you loved him and...and you kissed him. He was smart enough to stop you because he didn’t want to take advantage of you, but you were stuck to him all night after that. You even insisted on staying the night at his place instead of at mine, which is why you woke up there the next morning.”

I leaned against the bathroom sink, trying to digest the whole situation. I was trying to remember, but it was like someone had taken my memories of that night.

“I-I don’t understand, is he mad at me for that?” I asked. “He didn’t seem mad when we woke up.”

“He’s not mad, he’s...hurt.” I opened my mouth to respond, but she stopped me before I could. “Look...I didn’t tell you this but...Johnny has feelings for you. He has for a while and...he told Tim that that kiss intensified the feelings. When he realized you couldn’t even remember that night he felt hurt. He really hoped...”

She trailed off, but she didn’t need to finish her sentence. I knew what Johnny had hoped, and now I felt hurt knowing I had hurt him.

“Tell Mrs. Smith I went home sick,” I told Winona as I headed for the bathroom door.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“To find Johnny.”

~~~~~~

He came crawling under the bleachers moments after I had settled myself there. I had a cigarette lit between my fingers and had taken a small puff when he arrived.

“(Y/N), what are you doing here?” he asked.

“You’re my best friend, Johnny, I always knew this is where you went,” I told him. “I never came to talk because I figured you didn’t want to, but I think it’s time we discuss the issue of Winona’s party.”

He seemed hesitant at first, but when I offered him a puff from the cigarette he decided to settle next to me and accepted the cigarette.

“So, Winona told you?” he asked.

“After a lot of interrogation, yes,” I said. “Why wouldn’t you tell me, though? Or why wouldn’t any of our friends say anything?”

“I asked them not to,” he said. “I...I didn’t want our friendship to be ruined.”

“But you stopped talking to me for a week. Not even a warning or anything. I didn’t even remember what happened until I made Winona tell me. I thought you were mad with me.”

“I figured it was best that you didn’t remember.”

“Shouldn’t that be my decision to make?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he took another puff of the cigarette. I waited for him to blow the smoke out of his mouth before I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you had feelings for me?”

He coughed in surprise, his eyes widening as he looked at me. “Winona told you that?”

“I promised I wouldn’t say.”

I took the cigarette back and held it between my fingers, wanting to take away Johnny’s only ability to waste time in his explanation.

“I told you, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he said. “You’re my best friend and we run in the same friend group, I can’t imagine ruining that whole dynamic because of some stupid feelings I have for you.”

“I wouldn’t call them stupid,” I said. “And maybe if you had told me, I would’ve told you sooner that I also have feelings for you.”

He shook his head, which I raised an eyebrow at in response.

“There’s no way,” he said. “You...you just said I’m your best friend.”

“And shouldn’t your significant other be your best friend?” I countered. “Johnny, I’ve had a crush on you since grade school. I thought it was just because I thought you were really cute, and then when we became friends I figured that’s all we were meant to be. But those feelings have always been there, I guess the same as they’ve been there for you.”

He was speechless, which made me giggle. I shuffled closer to him, so close that our shoulders were touching. I took one last puff from the still burning cigarette and put it out in the grass next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he placed his arm around mine.

“What do we do with this information now?” I asked.

“What do you want to do with it?” he responded.

“Well, we could go on a date.”

Johnny hummed as if he were thinking before saying, “What do you say we ditch the rest of the day and go to the diner instead?”

I smiled up at him and said, “Okay, I’d love that.”

#johnny depp #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp x imagine #teen!johnny depp #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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stoneworldsimp · 3 years

Text

what’s mine is not yours —a request

platonic senku x reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety, talk of insecurities and worries, gender dysphoria

your name!

YOUR NAME!

your hands slapped to your ears, eyes shut tight. i can’t take this so early in the morning.

the voices from your dream had lingered longer than you would have liked. it reminded you it was time to face another day, to endure another long long day and night of hearing the wrong things.

maybe if i went and lived on my own again…i wouldn’t have to deal with it—no. senku needs me. he needs me…what does he need me for again? you rolled onto your stomach; your pillow rustled as you flopped it on top of your head. he doesn’t need me. i’d rather be lonely than hear everyone say some bullshit about me.

everyone in the village knew you as a miss. yuzuriha made you more neutral clothes upon request, but everyone assumed you were tomboyish. luckily, no one read more into it; it was nice to dress comfortably, but it was like no one else understood. why were they still calling you a girl? and the older folks, you knew they meant well! but you couldn’t help but feel like their constant “sweet girl”s were making fun of you at this point.

i can’t do it, i can’t do it, they’re making fun of me right now, as i think. as i exist!

you felt a tear trickle down the side of your nose.

oh, you’re kidding. crying? again? is this—

a knock on your door halted your thoughts; you quickly flipped back and sat up in your bed on the ground of your hut, and wiped your face quickly. you lightly slapped your cheeks to stop yourself from continuing crying.

“yeah.”

“it’s me. can i come in?”

senku’s voice brought some sort of relief; personally you felt it was better for him to come in at such a time than anyone else.

you took a deep breath. “sure, but i just woke up. i’m staying under my blanket.”

senku laughed behind the door. a small shove was made and it opened, revealing a quite chipper senku. he liked to come early in the morning when the rest of the village was quiet.

his smirk faltered once he saw your face. you believed you hid your crying well; you didn’t think to check your red eyes or stinging cheeks.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his words much gentler than when he asked to come in.

damn. how could i not realize i was so obvious?

with a deep breath, you whispered, “senku.. we’re pretty good friends, right?”

he snickered. “of course we are, way more than that asshole gen.”

his voice was closer. you laughed as well, and wiped your eyes clear. he slowly walked over and sat down on the floor next to you. senku was looking at you, really looking at you; it was intense, almost if he was making sure his closeness or anything about his presence wasn’t bothering you.

“okay…i’m about to say a lot of stuff. let me know if you need me to explain more, or if i’m talking too much. or—“

your words halted as senku put a hand on your shoulder, a smile light on his face. “all ears.”

you smiled back softly. “okay. so—back in..our time,”you gestured between the two of you with your hands, “i told my family and friends i was, uhm… nonbinary. like i don’t feel male or female, i use they/them pronouns; all that good stuff. still feel that way now. and, for quite some time, they didn’t believe me. not in a direct ‘you’re lying’ way, but more of ‘i don’t understand it therefore you shouldn’t understand it’ type of thing. i got a lot of shit from people who weren’t my friends, too. but with my friends’ support and getting more confidence after coming out, my parents were able to kinda see it. but yeah, it took quite some time. probably like.. eight months? even then, i had to remind them constantly, ‘not a daughter. please don’t call me she or he. please don’t call me a woman.’ but we were getting there. and right when we got petrified, right when it happened, i saw the look on my mom’s face.

“we were talking about me and my identity and it was like something had clicked in her brain. like, she knew exactly what i meant and how i felt when i said what it meant to be nonbinary. i don’t even remember what i said specifically, but i remember her expression as if she were standing in front of me right now. i was so hopeful i’d see her again, her expression got me through my petrification and even helped me break out of it. but of COURSE, i didn’t ever see her again after i woke up. and then i almost lost my own sense of self after being by myself for probably a year.. i was under the assumption i’d never meet another person again, so when i did run into your village—i had this gross feeling of dread. and i realized it was the same feeling that basically lived inside of me before i came out.”

you sat up straighter and looked away from senku. “it’s like, i have to rebuild my identity all over again. people always say you shouldn’t care about what other people say, but i can’t help it. i’m a sensitive person. i get hurt easily, no matter how hard i try to thicken my skin. they all, they all just use ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘that girl’ so often, it feels like they’re making fun of me, like they’re constantly telling me i’m not who i say i am. and i can’t tell them senku, being nonbinary was confusing for so many people in our time, i hardly believe they’ll understand it now. sure, my parents were fine, but it took a while before they got it. i can only imagine how long it’ll take for everyone here.”

senku was quiet. have you over explained yourself? was it too overbearing? in all honesty you’d only been good friends with senku a short while; you should have waited at least a little bit longer before letting him in on something so personal—

“it all, it all kind of makes sense now.”

huh?! “what?”

“what you told me, i think i get it now.”

you gave him a look up and down. it was possible, but you didn’t think there was much of a chance that senku would be so..cool with it. not right away. you expected some form of silent treatment for at least a day or two, so he could collect his own thoughts.

“i’m gonna say something, and i need you to listen. yeah?”

you stared at him like your brain short-circuited. what the fuck is he gonna say to me.. oh god, he doesn’t wanna be friends anymore. but he’ll be too nice to kick me out of the village. but it is his village—

“hey, hey…are you with me?” you both sat facing each other now, and his hands rested on your shoulders.

just hear him out. “yeah. all ears.”

he smoothed your shoulders with his thumb. “you’re just as valid as everyone out there. i know you’re scared, but believe me when i say they will not be mocking you in any way. sure, it might take a while for them to understand, but theyre not going to give up just because they dont get something right away. it took me a few months to fully convince this village i could help them, and even then, there were still a few who didn’t fully understand the experiments and contraptions i made until a while later. i know that isn’t the same as your situation… but what i’m trying to say is that they will try their best to know you, the real you. they aren’t going to mock you; if anything, they’ll have lots of questions to ask you.

“also, you have me, you have gen to help out in case you don’t have the capacity to answer everything yourself. i’ve a few things about gender before the stone world, and gen definitely knows a lot of things that are relevant to it as well.

“everyone here… they’re all so eager to learn, i highly doubt they’ll be unaccepting. they’ll be curious. and they’ll be happy you’re letting them in on something that is so important.”

tears had made their way down your face and on your clothes halfway through his mini-monologue; you didn’t notice him continuously wiping them away until he was finished. “it’s going to be okay. trust me.”

with a quiet sob, you pushed yourself into his arms for a hug.

“thank you.”

you knew he wasn’t particularly one for any type of physical contact, but he gladly accepted. for the occasion, he thought. his arms slowly wrapped around your slightly shaking body as you tried to calm down. neither of you spoke for a few minutes; only your soft sniffles were heard in the hut.

“senku, i think that was the most i’ve heard you talk about something that wasn’t directly related to science,” you laughed into his neck.

he laughed back. “i had a lot saved, since there were moments i could tell you were kind of uncomfortable. i didn’t want to force you into talking about it either, so i just waited. tried to figure out what i was going to say. it had to be good.. you are one of my closest friends, after all.”

both of you embraced each other a little tighter. “i hope all of this helped, i want you to live here with none of those worries. especially after so many months of having it bottled inside.”

you nodded in response.

today.. today will be the day i tell everyone not to use what they used to call me; that won’t do at all anymore.

today, i’ll tell everyone my name.

#dr stone #dr stone x reader #senku ishigami x reader #senku x reader #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senku #senku ishigami #dr stone imagines #dr stone scenarios #senku ishigami fluff

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kim-monsterlings · 4 years

Text

Danon - M Hellhound x F Human (Reader) // NSFW

The pictures do not belong to me. I only created the mood board. Do not repost my work anywhere.

Content: NSFW/Lemon; injury (brief, not to reader), mild aggression, mentions of death, soul bonding, fluff, receiving oral, penetrative sex (+ knotting), marking (no biting - tattoo), more fluff to top it off, with the NSFW only at the very end - (if there is anything else anyone would like tagged here that I haven't caught, let me know!)

Wordcount: 3715

Masterlist

The creature rested at your front door had been your shadow for some time now.

The raven fur thick at its scruff tinged with a crimson the nearer you came, and though you doubted its domesticity - its claws were far too long for any house pet, not to mention in place of fluffy ears were ram horns, wide and curled back to its neck - you still felt sympathy for the creature, wounded as it was.

You first saw it nearly a month ago, trailing at your shadow when the evening fell into night. If the creature had wanted to have you then, it would have. The flash of fanged teeth hadn't been so unusual, until the muzzle almost tore back, sinew and tendons sewing flesh together, up to it skull. Then you'd known it wasn't quite a dog, nor some odd breeding anomaly, and had fought to ignore the memory.

Until the creature was at your backdoor come dawn when you went to the river for water and herbs for medicine. You were no healer, not properly, but your parents had passed down knowledge you cherished and made use of. Poultices ready-made waited for collection, all the while your stalker sat by the tree line, waiting; you weren't sure what for.

To see it so defeated when it was usually full of life tugged you down to your knees. The first time you had confronted it - in a rage of foolishness, really, considering how lucky you had been to avoid any harm at its infliction, the creature had staggered back almost in shock at having stones thrown, before letting loose a growl so low your muscles locked, and you thought then you had incited your own death, as its muzzle nudged up at your fist, the creature large enough to come to your hips like a pony.

The memory was nothing now. You whispered, hoping to soothe the dog-like demon when you brushed its fur. It gave a low whine, and tail thin like a whip with an arrowed tip tucked neater to its belly. Whatever it was, was decisively male, but your focus was more on the scratches curled deep into its stomach, and the wound on its throat must have been from another creature of the same kind.

"Hey, boy," you said and offered your hand for him to sniff. The notion struck you as pointless; obviously he recognised you, laying at your door after following for so long, but the press of a hot nose was more reassurance to you than anything. "Stay still. You'll be okay, boy."

The idea of letting him inside was daunting, but you couldn't just leave him there to die. No matter why he followed you, he had come to you now for help, and you pressed onto his back carefully. When he snarled, you winced through gritted teeth.

"Come on, boy." You tucked your hands beneath his back enough to encourage him up. Your door was open. All he had to do was collapse inside. "Go on-"

With a pitiful whine, he fell heavily against your thigh as you led him in. He managed to carry himself to the fireplace before landing with a thud, and though he still breathed, you weren't surprised to find him now unconscious.

Treating a dog was different from humans but you made do with what you had, and you couldn't do anything more than that. What you noticed, even as you tried not to, was the thick stench of something foul and smoky on washing away blood, and something about it twisted at you. Like it was unnatural. There wasn't anything natural to a dog of his size, with horns and a tail like that, nor a muzzle so wide and sharp, but you had already invited him in and tended to his wounds, so you moved on.

You left a bowl of water and some old meat at his side but when you retreated to your room, sharp canines snatched your wrist. His eyes flicked up to you, a bright, burning red against his ashen body. When you conceded and sat at his side, a soft whimper enticed your fingers to his scruff, careful to avoid the horns and shallow wound.

"You're okay," you hummed, holding still when he inched close enough to lay a heavy head on your thighs. "You'll be okay, boy. You’ll be healthy again, and you won't even try to eat me, will you? No," you whispered, and spoke until his eyes fell shut.

That night you spent curled uncomfortably back against the sofa, falling in and out of a restless sleep. You woke before dawn to find the beast gone, and in his place was a man. The first, natural instinct that came to you was to scream; his head was nuzzled against your thighs, a hand curled at your hip and clutching loosely, but the familiarity struck you before the screech came.

His body was the same black of his fur, a rich, almost obsidian, but the giveaway was the tail twined to his bare legs. Even still, his mouth seemed off, a little too wide, and the short nubs at his temples, though dramatically smaller horns, were the same.

So you yawned, snatching the blanket off the sofa and laying it across his thin body, too. Waking hours later with daylight on your face, you were alone. He had rested you on the sofa with a pillow beneath your head and the blanket up to your neck. It melted away remnants of fear, after being alone with not only some demonic hound, but a strange man, too, more than capable of harming you.

It was a struggle to continue your day as you normally would, but it was a weekend, so a short trip out was all you needed. You were back before midday but still alone. Alone until well into the evening, almost convinced it had been a fever dream until you had finished changing into comfortable clothes, and the silhouette standing in your kitchen turned, tail wound at his bare ankle.

"Oh."

The tail flicked and he watched you with glowing eyes, which darted back from you to the door. "If you would rather I leave-"

"No. No, stay." His head canted much like it had when he was the creature, and you smiled, offering him a change of clothes you had bought; not so much a change, but something to cover up with. "I'd like the company, and an explanation."

He apparently had no shame, and you had to admit, he needn't have any. His body was taut, and once more you were drawn to admiring him. The clothes hung off his frame, adding to his general unruliness - his hair particularly, ruffed with thick curls nearly enshrouding the nubby horns.

The stranger was a foot or so taller than you, stiffening when you reached out towards him. He blinked when you introduced yourself, before whispering, "my name is Danon. It's okay," he said, and tipped his head down.

They were rough, thick at the base, and Danon's breath caught when you stroked up to the tips. Horns of a devil, yet he stood before you still weakened by wounds visible, though closed over at his throat, at least. No blood stained the white shirt yet, so you instead moved past to make a drink for you each.

"Start from the beginning, Danon."

His lips twitched, though the smile didn't last. "I am a hellhound. We guide souls on from their lives here. My life is owed to you."

You sipped in quiet until it helped calm your thoughts. Sat opposite a hellhound, you needed the strength. "Sounds lonely."

His voice trembled. "It is."

When Danon chose not to elaborate, you embraced the quiet. He had only sniffed at the tea, but you wouldn't force him to drink it. With his hands so large, clawed, the mug shrunk between them.

He still remained quiet, so you watched him carefully and said, "you followed me for a month."

"It was meant to be you."

Danon's lips pulled back like he was snarling down at his mug, but the action somehow only made a smile grow on your face. He snapped his head up, slamming the mug down hard enough the handle shattered free.

"It was your life I was sent for. Not the elder man. You. Say something," he bit out, a snarl coming audibly now when you just looked at him, heart-pounding but face unchanging. "Is that it? You don't care about your own life? I could snatch it from you now, leave you there breathless until-" he bit his cheek sharp as his tail swung out in short whips. "I chose to give you time."

The only sound you could make was a breathless, "why?"

"I watched you long before revealing myself."

"Oh, don't tell me," you cut in, rolling your eyes. "You fell in love with me? Is that it?"

"Yes."

"Very funny," you snapped, and Danon's throat bobbed. Like you had done, he said nothing, and you began to grip your mug tighter. "Tell me you're lying. You killed someone because you love me?"

"His time had come. I sent him in place of your soul. The world cannot lose you. The way you care for these people… not one other soul is so caring. You deserve to live."

"But he didn't?"

Danon's long tipped ears twitched, almost pinning back once your voice sharpened. He thumbed the crack in the mug with his claw and grunted, "we can claim a soul. I fought for yours and until I choose to let you pass," he glanced up, finding your face ashen. "You will live. The elder was sickly. Longer for him would be a cruelty. His soul was so far gone I couldn't resist guiding him. It's like… like an itch."

Questions sprouted endlessly the more he spoke, and you fully intended to return to the matter of him claiming your soul, but he hunched over, and you wondered if it took a toll on him, being the one to cart people from this life. Better to have a guide than not, but your mind drifted to the man whose passing you'd heard of nearby; very old, very sick, and in a way, it was an easing of pain.

"Don't I itch?"

His warm laughter came as a surprise. Danon's tail swayed gently. "No. You're like a beacon to me. I need to scratch the itch, but your soul is where I return to. When you healed me, you accepted my claim. For simplicity," he murmured, canting his head a little to hold your eyes. "We are bound, 'til death do us part. It is late."

Like that, Danon dismissed the questions burning in your mind. He rose, his form slender and lean, before rounding the table towards you. His claws pressed beneath your chin and he fell low, so close his breath brushed your face. The warmth in your stomach tightened your chest. If Danon lowered himself a little more, you would lean into his kiss without pause.

"I will never apologise for choosing you."

Sleep evaded you for a long time. Knowing that a creature of hell was resting in the lounge gave you plenty to torment over, and like he knew, the soft padding of paws entered your room. The beast huffed a heavy breath against your hand before curling at the foot of your bed, a weight that left you curled into yourself. His presence was a comfort, even as you struggled to stop thinking of him.

He loved you. He loved you, and he had bound your souls together.

Sometime in the night as your thoughts became heavier, the bed dipped. The creature rose, a yawn baring sharp teeth in a display that had frightened you nights ago, before whining quietly. He nudged at your arm until you let him lay close, nosing at your throat and whining again until you were able to rest.

Danon wasn't by your side when you woke. There wasn't a trace of him left. The shattered mug had been cleared away, the smoky scent that followed him was gone, and the comfort with it. You almost thought it had been a dream, a delirious lie after being alone too long, and forced yourself to go about your day as you would normally. If Danon came home, it would be of his own choice.

He staggered into your room three nights gone and collapsed to his knees in reaching out to you. It was the thick of night, so you woke with a cry at somebody waking you. Danon caught your face in clammy palms and hushed you. It was without a word that you kicked back the sheets for him, and he crawled beside you - bare, but so exhausted you couldn't find it in you to care as he clutched you tight with a rough sigh.

It wasn't the time for questions, but you leaned back as far as you could with his arms snaked against you, brushing your hand against his burning cheek. "I missed you."

His glowing eyes blinked down at you. "You missed me?"

You hummed and leaned into his chest. "Did you have an itch?"

His chest rose beneath you but it was answer enough. Danon's kiss was tentative, pressed to your temple like a breath, fleeting when he laid his cheek to your crown. "I missed you, too."

"Tell me what it means to have my soul claimed."

"Come morning, you may ask me anything."

"Will you be here?"

The hellhound paused a breath. "I'm never far," he said, but it was answer enough as you woke entwined, cheek to his shoulder and with a tail draped over your hips.

For a creature of hell, sunlight blessed him. The sharp angles of his face looked softer in the golden hue, and you were free to admire him until he grumbled and peeked open an eye at you. Danon's brows dipped when he found you already awake, but you were quick to catch his arm before he could lean away.

"I fought for the right to your soul," he murmured, thick with sleep and slightly slurred. "It is mine. Nothing can take you without me releasing you."

"Don't I own my own soul?"

"It is mine," he said against the pillows, grumbling and turning away. Though as he fought to muffle himself, his arm around you tightened. "Pretty soul, too."

"Am I immortal?" Danon breathed a laugh. His tail flicked down your legs and he shook his head. "Are you?"

"If I wish to pass on, I may."

The words were rough and muffled now he had found a spot on the pillow to hide from the light, but you spoke still. If he was in your bed, he would answer your questions. "Will you pass on when I do?"

He hummed, "I might." You frowned, and he let out a rumble of a growl, turning fully from the pillow. Danon rose over you until you were laid back beneath him. "It is dependent on you."

"Me?" You blanched, "why me?"

"How attached I am. I never," he growled, and would have lurched back if not for your touch brushing his arm. "I never intended to claim someone. Your soul is my burden-"

"I'm a burden?"

Danon snarled, but you bit back a smile at the gesture. He brought himself close, forehead to yours, and whispered, "I loved you before claiming you. That is my burden alone. May I?"

Throat tight, you tried to hold your voice steady when you asked, "may you?"

"May I sleep?"

Your breath rushed from you and you forced a nod, laying still as he nestled back into the pillows. Danon's hand skimmed your stomach when you slid free, and his tail snagged at your ankle before unwinding.

Days passed much like that, and each in his presence weakened you. Confessions came in soft whispers when, to him, they were the only possible answer to yet another of your questions. You asked him if he had a home. He did; loose curls fell against his horns, brushed his dark eyes, and the answer, though he never did anything more than smile at you, echoed in your chest. It was the same reason he came back after a soul needed guiding, and the isolation of what he was struck you when he returned, falling into your arms no matter where he found you.

The worst came when he was gone nearly a fortnight. Some nights you doubted if he would come back to you, and the memory of him seeing you as beacon became your clutch. You had taken to resting on the small sofa in the days, knowing that if he came back in the light, you would wake.

His whine was so soft you thought him to be the beast when a warmth brushed your cheek, but arms tucked beneath you and curled you into a bare chest. Danon's lips lingered on your forehead before he laid you on your bed, whispering your name as he began to free you from your dress. The lace parted easily for him, and you brought his hands up to your sleeves when he made to turn, helping him undress you until you were left only in your underwear.

"Don't stay away so long," you whispered, reaching out to brush back his loose curls. Danon trembled when you ran your thumb against his horns. "What if you didn't come back to me?"

He closed his eyes and leaned into your palm. "That will never happen."

"This isn't one-sided," you said. Lengthened teeth cut into his lower lip when you slowly parted your legs beneath him, and Danon's hips fell against yours. He let out a breathless moan when your touch pressed to his lips and he let them part, tongue hot against you. "Did you not think I loved you?"

He whined, and his head fell heavy onto your chest. You gasped when he kissed the soft skin as it fell low, and his hands settled on your hips. "Tell me you do."

"I might," you said, and he was peppering softer kisses across your breast, hot lips drawing on your nipple until you groaned. "You'll have to do more than that first."

Danon's lips curled up against your stomach, and relief flooded you when he moved lower. His thumbs stroked small circles into your thighs when he pressed his hot tongue to the fabric clinging to your body, tasting you through it. His teeth caught at the hem and as you lifted your hips, he snatched them off and returned as fast, kissing purple flushes onto your legs before pausing.

"Tell me now."

With a small smile, you reached low to hook a finger against his horn, and breathed, "not yet, love."

He snarled half-heartedly before a long drag of his tongue made you choke. Danon flicked the muscle up until it nudged to your nerves, earning a sharp cry of his name in pleasure. The heat now rushing through you began to pool in your gut, and tightened with the passion he began to lap at you with. The hound growled low, and the shock of it ran in shivers through you.

Claws curled against your skin and he pressed your legs back to your chest. The same fire you felt throbbing glowed in his eyes, and he almost held your stare for as long as he stretched your tight body around his tongue, if you hadn't shuddered and bucked against him.

"Danon-" His nose forced hot air against you, nosing up at your clit and you stuttered out a plea, grasping at his hair and grinding your hips up to his face. "I need you. I need you to-Danon-"

He yelped when you dragged him up, and his body rubbed hard against you. The weight of him slick and nudging to your core made you wriggle, and he palmed your stomach with a small smile, the other hand circling his cock and guiding it up so his head rubbed to your nerves.

"If we do this, you will wear my mark." He turned to kiss your knee as it came against his shoulder. "Am I what you want?"

The shine to eyes was so innocent that you nodded, tangling your fingers in his hair again to drag him against you. "I love you."

Your voice broke on a hoarse cry. Danon laid over you, your legs strained up against him a way that had your body so tight and stuffed when his cock drove deep. His lips, thick and sweetened by your taste, parted on a heady groan with each thrust, each clench of your thighs dragging him deeper.

At that moment, your souls recognised the other; they must have done, with a feeling of belonging overcoming you as Danon cradled your face, running away a tear of pleasure. He rutted up as he began to gasp and shake, a weight slamming against your centre. He soothed you with a whisper of his love, and grinned at your answering whine before the claw of his thumb flicked your clit. Bolts of pleasure knotted in your core. You cried, seeing white and locking tight in the same second Danon thrust hard, the knot forced into you and sticking.

You felt him come, thick and hard until he was panting and kissing down your throat. The black swirls of his mark formed across your chest and Danon held you close as his knot swelled all the more.

"Stay here." He swallowed, nipping at your jaw before meeting your eyes. "Stop travelling," you said quietly, and Danon's fingers running down your hips paused, splaying wide as he looked down at you. Your traced his chest, drawn to the stretch of his skin where a matching mark laid. "Care for this village, the neighbouring ones. You said you only take souls at their time. Guide theirs."

"Stay with you?" His small smile tugged at your heart. Danon slid his arm lower to lift you up against him, brushing a soft kiss to your lips. "I will try."

I wrote Danon in like one sitting and honestly? He stole my heart. I don't know how it happened but this is the longest thing I've written that wasn't intended to be two parts. Danon is now my baby, and I hope you all loved him too - let me know if you did! Threw in the NSFW as a treat to myself. We love indulgent writing. Thank you for getting this far <3

#kim-monsterlings writing #exophilia #monster boyfriend #monster x reader #demon #monster x human #hellhound #hellhound x reader #hellhound x human #2nd person #female reader #Danon the hellhound #kim-monsterlings #exophilia fluff #exophilia writing

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monodipita · 3 years

Text

dangerous (Yandere!Killua x Reader)

Word count: 2,161

Warnings: Yandere content warning, slight abuse warning, blood warning

The night descended upon you, the air reeked of blood and decay. You weren't even close to the door yet you were afraid to go anywhere near it, but you knew who was inside. He was there, waiting for you, even though you were scared of what was going to be inside the room, you were wise not to ignore his demands for your attention. Killua could be quite the monster sometimes, but never did you think that he would go this far. You were nauseous just thinking about it, and the noxious fumes in the air added on to nausea, but you were still holding yourself together through the pain.

What was on the other side of this door? Who would you see lying on the ground, surrounded by their blood, captured by the embrace of death?

Your hand slowly moved to the door handle. It turned effortlessly and smoothly to your chagrin. Watching the door creep open, it unveiled a new world before you. You had little time to react as your face was blasted with the acrid smell of death, causing you to double over and nearly vomit on the spot. It took everything within you to fight your reflexes, nearly becoming lightheaded from your efforts, but you were able to recover.

"Do you think I'm afraid of hurting you [Y/N]? Do you think that because I am so nice to you that you can walk free, that you can talk to whoever you want, whenever you want when I'm not looking? You took me for granted. I don't appreciate that." Killua. His voice sent chills down your spine. “No,“ you answer him in a quiet voice, “Killua, I wasn’t trying to do anything with them. I only spoke to them for up to a few minutes at a time. I didn't have anything to do with these people!“ It was a sobering thought.

”I just told you why I killed them [Y/N]. I'm not fond of repeating myself.“ Killua stood from his chair. You could see him in the dim light that was provided by the room now that he was closer to you. You could see the veins bulging in his hands, his nails were sharp as you had seen them be before in previous encounters. Blood splatter covered his body from head-to-toe. You find yourself slowly backing away from him, but you knew your lover well, there wasn't any fighting him, there wasn't any escaping him. "Killua," you called his name quietly, your mind surging and trying its best to come up with an excuse that would get you out of this hot mess. You didn't want to die, but you knew he was going to kill you. You didn't want to die because of something you'd thought was only a minor inconvenience. "Please, I..."

"What are you going to say," he was in front of you, his beady blue eyes stared down at your face. ""Don't kill me?" Of course, I wouldn't kill you, [Y/N]. I love you far too much to kill you, don't be ridiculous." He pulled you into an embrace and squeezed you in his arms tightly, his hands stroking down your back and reaching back up to your shoulders. You were hesitant to hug him back but slowly brought yourself to wrap your arms around him. . . feeling the two of you lock together in the embrace, your eyes closing as you brought yourself to lean into him with your head pressing on his shoulder. "Of course, I love you," he whispered.

The air was still and quiet, neither of you spoke to each other and instead held this awkward silence. You knew better than to move away from Killua, you knew better than to fight him when he was so much stronger than you, so you accepted your fate, resting against him like this. It was actually kind of nice after a while, it made you feel like he still loved you.

That was until you could feel his sharp nails burrowing themselves into your back.

"Ah!" You cried out. Your body began to squirm underneath his embrace that only got tighter the more you struggled against him. "Stop STOP! It hurts, Killua, PLEASE!!" You shrieked.

"This hurts, hmm? Am I hurting you [Y/N]? Does it hurt as much as you hurt me?"

Your screaming turned into wailing and sobbing, your body that had been consistently put to the test since you met Gon and Killua at the hunter exam became partially numbed to the excruciating feeling of his nails piercing and digging into your skin. Thankfully he didn't seem to be pushing his fingers any deeper into your body. "N-no, Killua, it doesn't," you sobbed, "I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"You're sorry?" Killua's hands ceased their assault on your body. He pulled his fingers out of your skin. The numb feeling that took over that area of your body ceased to exist at the moment, and the pain began to flood you from head-to-toe. Your own hands gripped at the shirt Killua wore to somehow relieve the agonizing pain you felt through putting pressure into your fingers. Your body began to shake, but you kept yourself up as best as you could. "yes," you breathed, "I'm so sorry that I hurt you Killua, I won't ever do it again!"

Silence fell.

Killua pulled himself away, his hands holding yours tightly as he looked down at you. "Good," he smirked, "I'll trust you, but just to make sure I'll handle it on my own." He said calmly. He gripped your hand crushingly tight. It was better than the pain you felt in your back, that was for damn sure though. You were dragged effortlessly out of the building that the two of you were in.

On the way out, he ripped off the note on the outside that lured you inside. He balled it up and tossed it aside. Your teeth clenched and grit themselves together while the two of you walked back to your apartment, the pain you were feeling was unbearable, but you knew better than to talk to Killua right now. The sounds made on the trek back would be the sounds of you whimpering and your footsteps colliding with the cement of the sidewalk. The two of you didn't pass by very many people on the way, so there was no one to stop and ask you what was wrong - perhaps that was for the best. You held your silence as the two of you stepped inside the apartment building, your eyes warily looking over to the elevator as he dragged you over to it.

You were scared, scared that he was going to do something horrible inside the apartment once the two of you were in it. As you entered the elevator your body nearly collapsed against his, your body sinking to the floor before Killua's. His hands went to your shoulders as he stared down at you, a shadow cast over his face to prevent you from studying any bright details, as well as rendering his expression unreadable.

"I think I like you in this position." He smirked.

You shook your head, "no, KIllua... please, my back... we need to go to the hospital..." you were tired of behaving like it wasn't an issue. The pain was still there even after ten minutes of putting up with it. "No we don't!" he rolled his eyes as he pulled you up. "I'll take care of you, don't worry about it. Only I should be the one to touch you anyway."

The elevator conveniently came to a stop for him so that he could lug you out of it and drag you to your apartment door. You could feel your body be dragged against his, your legs touching the floor, your injured back coming dangerously close to touching the floor, but your body was too weak to fight against his, you could only cry out at the feeling. "KIllua, please, it hurts!" You whimper, "let me get up!"

"I'll pass~!" the white-haired boy spoke casually as he grabbed the key from your apartment from his pocket. You took this moment to try and lift yourself, but you were only met with the feeling of pain, as his hand tangled with your hair to force you back down onto the ground.

The door opened. Killua dropped your hold on his body and stepped inside.

This... this was the chance, the only chance you would have to run if you were going to run. You were injured and on the brink of passing out, but an attempt of running and hiding sounded better than submitting to whatever would happen inside that room. Your body slowly brought itself to stand with the help of the columns of the doorway. Right as you were able to fully stand, KIllua glanced back at you for a moment. "Go lay on the bed," he ordered you, "I'm gonna go get the first-aid. 'kay?"

You said nothing as he disappeared around the corner. Your body instinctively turned to jet away from the scene as fast as your injured body could take you, finding yourself facing out into the hallway. What am I running for? You had no answer for yourself but anything was better right now then being at the behest of Killua, even if you still loved him you knew that there wasn't any turning back from this point on. ...at least not for you.

Your body tip-toed itself away from the doorway to your apartment and out into the hallway. You began to make your break for it, but you were stopped mid-way.

"Did you seriously think that this was going to work on me of all people?" He asked you, his hand wrenching your shoulder tightly within his grip. "After being made aware of everything that I'm capable of, me, Killua Zoldyck?" There were no words to express the genuine amount of surprise the white-haired boy felt. He was wordless as he pulled you back inside the apartment, this time closing the door behind him and securing you inside with him. You were powerless to fight against him.

"Now, let's go take care of those wounds of yours, shall we?"

He brought you further inside the apartment to your bedroom, where you were originally supposed to be in the first place.

There were chains on the bed. You could see them very well—they stuck out like a sore thumb because they were black against the gray sheets of your bed. "Ki-killua, what is this??" You ask him worriedly, but he pays you no mind as he pushes you onto the bed.

You aren't given time to react. He's already putting the ensemble together on your body. First your ankles, then your arms, and finally your neck are all bound by the same black metal. You wince in confusion, your eyes going up to him. "W-what is the meaning of this?! What are you doing to me?!"

"Seeing as I can't let you wander out without talking to people like only you know how to, I figured I'd take the necessary steps to ensure that you can't run away ever again." He spoke in such a cheerful voice. You were unnerved by it. "You can't do this to me... it's not right," You tried to reason with him, "I don't want to be stuck like this forever!"

"Oh, but I can do this to you, and you can be stuck like this forever! I have the power to facilitate it." He grinned. "Don't worry [Y/N], I won't let it be too lonely in here. I'll make sure to stay with you as much as I can! Like, I'll feed you, I'll bathe you, all that stuff. Like a pet. Only if you're good, though." You looked on in horror while he continued speaking. He seemed to forget what he needed to do at the moment. "Right, I almost forgot! I need to patch up that wound of yours. Hold on, I'm coming back!" So cheerful, so disturbing, you hated every second of it. You watched as he disappeared.

You took this time to look down at the predicament you were placed in. You were surrounded by familiar things, but you were in something unfamiliar: these chains, that you were supposed to be in forever. It was a horrifying thought, being bound to this one spot forever with someone as chaotic as Killua being the one to look over you... he would've been more than willing to have you killed on the spot, you were almost certain of that.

When Killua came back, he was holding a small first-aid kit in his hand, but more importantly, he was holding a large container of rubbing alcohol in his other hand—you already knew where this was going. You swallowed thickly as he came closer.

#killua hxh #killua x reader #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere x reader #yandere #hunter x hunter #gender neutral insert #reader insert

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter thirteen rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

You woke up when bright lights began to penetrate your eyelids. You raised a hand to shield your eyes from the light and slowly opened them. You saw nothing but pure white walls that seemed to go on forever. You were slowly regaining feeling in your body as your eyes adjusted to the lights.

“My leg!” You gasped and looked down at your previously broken leg. It was fully healed, as were the rest of your injuries. You didn’t feel any pain anymore.

“Where are we?” You asked out loud. For the first time in a year, you got no response.

“Venom?” You asked again. She always answered. You were beginning to worry.

“Venom whats going on?” You asked. Still no answer. You tried to turn into Venom but nothing happened. You felt white hot fear shoot through your body.

“Oh my God. I died?” You whispered. “I died when I gave Venom to Peter.”

You suddenly felt yourself being pulled forward, as if attached to a string, before stopping abruptly. You found yourself in front of a door that was painted white. You pushed it open and walked into your old apartment, the one you shared with Andy. Speak of the devil…

“Hi babe.” Andy chirped. He kissed your lips as he passed you. You immediately touched your fingertips to your lips. You hadn’t kissed him like that in so long. He was once your boyfriend but now he felt more like a stranger.

“Hi.” You said wearily, coming out as more of a question.

“You ready?” He asked as he tossed you your shirt. You caught it clumsily and looked at it. It was a button down that you wore for important events.

“Ready for what?” You wondered as you rubbed your thumbs over the material.

“Don’t you have that interview with that guy today?” He tilted his head. “I thought you were gonna write a puff piece about his rocket.”

“My interview?” You were still very confused as you looked around your old apartment.

“Yep. So are you gonna do it?” Andy took a seat and looked at you expectantly.

“Do what?” You asked.

“Choose me.” He said simply.

“Choose you? Choose you for what? You know what, it doesn’t matter. I would never choose you.” You shook your head. “What’s going on?”

Andy’s face fell and a wall dropped down in front of you, between you and him. You slammed your hands on the wall in frustration and another door appeared. You opened the door and walked into your childhood home. You saw followed the sound of humming into your old bedroom, where you found your mother in a rocking chair.

“There you are.” She smiled sweetly as she rubbed her pregnant belly. “Could you hand me the lotion?”

You looked at her in bewilderment as you handed her a bottle of lotion. You were in a nursery, fit for a baby that hadn’t arrived yet.

“Thank you.” She accepted the bottle. “My little Y/n is almost here.”

“I’m here, mom.” You knelt down beside her with tears in your eyes. “I’m right here.”

“But are you staying?” She asked as she rubbed the lotion into her stomach.

“What?” You whispered in confusion. She finally looked at you. It was the first time you had ever looked in your mothers eyes.

“Are you choosing me, Y/n?” She asked, face void of emotion.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I can’t.”

“Oh.” She said disappointedly. She stood up suddenly and walked out the bedroom door. You ran after her but when you went through the door, you found yourself in Peters bedroom. He came in and closed the door behind him.

“Hey beautiful.” He smiled. “Have you seen my-“

“Yes.” You blurted and Peter looked at you quizzically.

“Sorry what?” He asked.

“Wasn’t that your question? If I’m choosing you?”

“It was.” Peter nodded as he suddenly thought of something. “You gave Venom to me. Why?”

“Because you were dying.” You said as if it were obvious.

“So were you.” Peter bargained.

“Your life matters more.” You stated, surprising yourself on how quickly you answered.

“Avengers don’t trade lives.” Peter said firmly.

“I’m no Avenger. What good have I done in the world? I saved San Francisco from one guy with a rocket and I think of myself as some kind of hero? You said it yourself Peter.” You shrugged sadly. “I will never be the hero. I will always be the monster. And the monster always has to die at the end of the story.”

“Who’s writing this story?” Peter asked you.

“Me. I write the stories.” You were definitely annoyed now. “Why is everyone asking me these questions? Where am I?”

“So why did you give Venom to me? Why not write a happier ending?” Peter questioned.

“Because.” You said dumbly. You didn’t even know the answer.

“Because?” He repeated.

“Because! Because I was dying! Venom couldn’t heal me and we both knew it. She’d die if I died. So I gave her to you.” You yelled. “If you were her host then she could heal you and survive at the same time. I took myself out of the equation. I made the decision. That’s how I chose to end my story. Are you happy now?”

You never wanted to raise your voice at Peter but you didn’t like everyone poking around in your head. Something weird was going on and you weren’t even sure if he was real.

“So you chose to die?” Peter raised a judgmental eyebrow. All his questions came out in a way that sounded like he damn well knew the answer.

“I chose save you and Venom.” You answered for what felt like the millionth time.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” You grumbled.

“Yes you do. Why?” He said again.

“I said I don’t know.” You yelled.

“Bullshit!” He yelled. Peter never raised his voice at you either. This definitely wasn’t your Peter.

“Because I’d rather die than lose you! Either of you.” You shouted before lowering your voice. “You and Venom mean more to me than anything else ever has. Nothing compares to you. So I gave myself up so in order for you two to live. That’s why.”

He looked satisfied with your answer, finally.

“I know.” Peter nodded simply.

“You know? Then why did you ask?” You were beyond frustrated at that point.

“Because you didn’t know. You think you chose me.” Peter laughed.

“I did chose you.” You argued.

“No. You didn’t.” Peter stated.

“Then who did I chose?” You said angrily. You knew you chose Peter. You just wanted this trip to be over. Your head was splitting.

“Us.” Venoms voice came into your head. You turned to the mirror and saw Venom looking back at you. The background melted away to a black room with just a mirror.

“You chose us. You sacrificed yourself to save someone else. Do you know what that makes you?” Venom asked you.

“Stupid?” You said sarcastically.

“A hero.” Venom replied. You rolled your eyes.

“I will never be the hero.” You hissed.” Peter nearly died because of me. And he would’ve died if it weren’t for you. I’m the one who put him in danger. Me. I’m a monster.”

“Just because you’re a monster doesn’t mean you have to do monstrous things.” Venom reminded you.

“How am I seeing all of this?” You wondered. “How are you here? Aren’t I dead?”

“No. You’re just in such bad pain that you’re hallucinating. None of this actually happened.”

“What?” You gasped. How could it all be fake? It felt so real.

“I’m kidding.” Venom chuckled. “You’re just unconscious. It’s time to wake up.”

“Wake up?” Your vision began to blur again and the room faded back to black.

“I’ll be watching over you.” Your mother’s voice said was the last thing you heard before you fell back to sleep.

You woke up with a jolt. You were still on the pavement outside of the Oscorp building. You heard the faint sounds of a commotion on the roof. Lots a roars. A few cackles here and there. You let out a huff of breath.

“I’m not gonna die.” You grunted. “Not like this.”

With great agony, you picked yourself up. Your hand was still broken but Venom had healed your leg. You doubled tapped your chest and your suit formed around your body once again. You shot a web at the building and swung on it until you reached the front. The doors were locked being as it was nighttime and no one was around. You looked at your reflection in the window and sighed.

“No fear.” You shouted as you head butted the window. It didn’t break but it did give you a throbbing headache. You groaned and shot a web at a dumpster and threw it through the window. The glass shattered all around you.

“That’ll work too.” You shrugged before climbing through the broken glass and limping over to the elevator. Every step you took brought on more pain but you were high on adrenaline. You got in the elevator and pressed the button for the roof. Cheesy elevator music filled your ears as you rode.

Meanwhile on the roof, Peter was putting up a second fight with Carnage. Venoms powers mixed with his Spider-Man powers gave him an advantage. He was stronger, bigger, and faster than ever before. Carnage was beginning to weaken.

“Y/n has been down there an awfully long time. I wonder what’s become of her.” Carnage tried to distract Peter. Peter panicked instantly. He didn’t know how he bonded with Venom. All he knew is he was barely conscious on the sidewalk one minute and climbing the building as Venom the next. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten all about you.

“Where is she?” Peter demanded.

“I threw her off a while ago. Haven’t seen her since. Didn’t you tell me she and Venom would die if they were separated? I don’t know though. Venom seems fine to me.” Carnage taunted the boy.

“Venom, what happened? Where’s Y/n?” Peter asked the Symbiote desperately.

“You can’t stop fighting now. I’ll tell you about to later.” Venom answered, knowing Peter would drop everything and rush to your side if he knew the truth.

“I thought you only said “we”.” Peter wondered out loud.

“”We” is for me and Y/n only.” Venom said firmly. She missed you dearly. All she could do was hope you were still alive.

“Fair enough.” Peter answered.

He had been so caught up in his conversation with Venom that he didn’t notice Carnage charging at him. Carnage pulled at Venoms skin and successfully yanked her off of Peter. He threw Venom off into the distance and grabbed Peter by the neck.

“Don’t waste your time with the bitch. Who cares about Y/n? Girls are nothing but trouble. You’re better off if she’s dead. Women are good for absolutely nothing. All they do is bite your head off.” Carnage growled at Peter. Peter was wining and he was getting desperate.

Peter was about to jump to your defense and annihilate Carnage with an essays worth of reasons why women were amazing when he heard someone behind him clear their throat.

“He’s right, Peter. Absolutely right.” You said suavely. You strutted over to Carnage and Peter, checking your nails as you walked. Peter looked at you with pride and then at Carnage with a look that said “you’re finished.”

“And well,” you shrugged with open arms, “Ain’t I a woman?”

Before Carnge could speak, Peter kicked him in the groin for the second time that evening. You took no time in grabbing Carnage and pulling him off Cletus. You shoved Cletus towards Peter and held Carnage up. He was defenseless in his goo state. You smiled wickedly as you transformed back into Venom. Then, you did just as you promised.

You bit his head off.

You chewed Carnage and swallowed him before tossing the rest of him in the fire. He burned up and dissolved into the fire with a shrill hiss. You smiled proudly at your work but your smile quickly fell when you looked up and saw Cletus with a knife to Peters throat.

“Wait! Kill me too or I’ll slice his throat. Please! I can’t go back to prison.” Cletus begged.

“No, Cletus. I’m not going to kill you. I would never hurt you.” You said cautiously as you slowly approached Cletus.

“We’re saving your life, idiot.” Peter sassed. Cletus tightened his grip and Peter yelped.

“Don’t! Life in prison isn’t living.” Cletus cried.

“Killing people isn’t living either. You have to stop this Cletus. We want to help you.” Peter interjected.

“Why? I don’t deserve your help. Did you ever see what Shelly looked like? If you weren’t my friend, you would’ve been my target.” Cletus shouted at you.

“You would never hurt me. I believe that. But you can’t hurt Peter either. Peter didn’t do anything to you. He didn’t laugh at you or reject you, right?” You tried to reason with Cletus and talk him down.

“You think you would’ve been spared? You wouldn’t. I’m a cold blooded killer baby. I’ll kill your boyfriend right now to prove it. You’d kill me if I did that, wouldn’t you?” His crazy eyes were wide with excitement. “You’d eat me on the spot. I know you, Y/n. I know how you work. Carnage told me that Symbiotes mate for life. Well how about I kill your mate as you watch? Would you still try to save me? Huh, girl? Would you?”

“I couldn’t have pulled Carnage off of you as easily as I did if you didn’t try to let him go.” You pointed out. “You wanted to be free from him. It’s okay, Cletus. You’re free now. Peter and I freed you. So don’t do anything stupid okay? Put the knife down. The police are on their way.”

“They are? Why?” Peter asked. Of course he was opening dialogue while being threatened with a knife.

“Someone threw a dumpster through the window.” You answered him.

“Oh my God really? Who would do that?” Peter wondered.

“I have no idea.” You deadpanned.

“Please just kill me. I deserve it.” Cletus brought the attention back to himself.

“No one deserves it.” You shouted. Before Cletus could protest, something red and crispy jumped of the fire and latched onto Peters leg. You knew you hadn’t succeeded in killing Carnage, but it was too late. Peter was yanked towards the roaring fire and you weren’t fast enough to get to him. Everything began to move in slow motion. Peters body flew through the air like a rag doll. You began to run to him but you knew you’d never make it it time. Then, out of nowhere, Cletus jumped towards Peter and grabbed Carnage. They both tumbled into the fire. You heard the screams from Cletus and Carnage as they burned to ashes together. You ran to Peter and helped him up, both of your eyes trained on the fire.

“Is he-“ you began.

“He saved me.” Peter gasped.

“Are they dead?” You wondered out loud.

“Karen, extinguisher.” Peter called.

The spider on Peters chest came off and hovered over the fire. A white substance shot out of it and put out the fire. There was nothing but a burnt mark on the ground when it was done. Both Cletus and Carnage were gone.

“Did-did we just win?” You asked.

“I think we did.” Peter said in disbelief.

You ran towards each other and embraced. He picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his torso. He held you tightly as you heard police sirens approaching the building.

“I thought I was gonna lose you.” You mumbled in his ear.

“I thought I already lost you. How did you find Venom?” Peter asked as he scanned your body for injuries.

“Right as I walked off the elevator, something hit me in the face that felt like a wet cat. Sure enough, it was Venom.” You laughed. Peter sighed in relief.

“That was lucky.” Peter commented.

“Not really. We always find each other.” You smiled fondly at Venom and she smiled back at you.

“How did I get Venom?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You lied.

”You’re lying. Your heart rate went up. How did I get Venom?” Peter asked again, with more force this time.

“I…transferred her to you.” You admitted.

“What?” His eyes widened. “Why? I didn’t even know you could do that.”

“We can when we have to. I felt we had to.” You told him.

“Why?”

“You were hurt.” You said simply.

“What about you?” Peter asked, always concerned for your safety.

“What about me?” You laughed. “You and I were both hurt and Venom could only heal one of us. She would’ve died if she stayed with me.”

“Why wouldn’t you let her heal me and then take her back?” Peter asked.

“Because I just wanted to keep you safe.” You yelled from an anger you didn’t know was building. Peter’s eyes softened and he no longer looked confused. “All I was thinking in that moment is that you were hurt and I could help you. I wasn’t thinking about me or Carnage or anything else. Just you and your safety.”

“Woah.” Peter stumbled back. “I think I just realized why Mr. Stark treats me like a kid.”

“Love makes you do crazy things.” You shrugged. “He’s strict with you because he wants to protect you, not because he doesn’t believe in you.”

“I shouldn’t listened the first 15 times he told me that.” Peter laughed but his face suddenly fell flat. “Y/n, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it, Pete?” You put a hand on his cheek.

“Almost dying made me realize that I want to be with someone else.” Peter said apologetically.

“What? Who?” You were crushed, withdrawing your hand immediately. Peter smiled proudly at himself when he saw your reaction.

“Your mom.” He delivered in true Gen Z fashion.

“My mom is dead, dickhead.” You said bluntly.

“Oh my God.” Peter stuttered. “I totally forgot I am so sorry please-“

You cut him off by rushing into his arms and pressing your lips to his.

“I’m only teasing. I always appreciate a good “your mom” joke.” You assured him. “Plus, I saw her like five minutes ago.”

“Wait, what?” Peter jutted his head back in surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” You waved your hand in dismissal. “I think we’ve had enough crazy for one night. Can we just go inside and-“

“Watch The Princess Bride and cuddle?” Peter asked hopefully.

“I was gonna say have sex and make brownies, but your thing works too.” You smiled innocently as you pulled him towards the stairs to get off the roof.

“Yeah.” Peter gulped, realizing he jumped the gun. “Or your thing.”

“Nah.” You teased him. “I haven’t seen The Princess Bride in forever.”

“Me either.” He nodded. “Or we could do your thing.”

“Do you want to go to my place or yours?” You still ignored his pleas.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” He shrugged. “You should pick since you make such good suggestions. Speaking of suggestions, we should do your thing.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you left the building, carefully stepping over the glass from the window you smashed.

“You know what, Peter?” You said as you looked at him with a smile. “If I have to be people eating alien, I’m glad I can do it with you by my side.”

“Thanks, Y/n.” He laughed a little. “That means a lot.”

You stopped him and put your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you.

“I mean it.” You said softly. “I’m glad to have you as my partner in crime.”

“I’m glad I have you too.” He smiled shyly before leaning in to kiss you.

“Come on.” You took his hand and pulled him in the direction of your apartment. “Let’s go do my thing.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x venom!reader #venom!reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction

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reidology · 3 years

Text

Dying in a bathtub - Hotchreid

Summary: Hotch gets nightmares and hides in the tub, so Spencer makes it comfy for him <3

Word count: 4.4k

Content warning: discussion and description of nightmares, smut, brief description of physical abuse, light angst, quite fluffy, happy ending <3

AO3

__________________________________________

The first time it happened Spencer woke up shivering, the cold of a missing body beside him seeped through the sheets chilled his bones. He braved a lazy glance to his bedside, squinting to see the alarm clock blinking big and aggressive red numbers. 05:25. Aaron must have gone out for a morning run, something Spencer never understood. In fact, his reasoning of ‘why run, when sleep?’ whenever Aaron attempted to get him to join always earned him an affectionate eye roll and kiss on the cheek, so why would he ever give that up? No promise of endless coffee can get Spencer Reid to wake up before 7am, much less for exercise.

Reluctantly the sleepy man made his way to the bathroom, knowing he might as well shower and get ready for work now, there’s no way he could get back to sleep without his human furnace of a boyfriend covering him completely. Only, through his grogginess he failed to notice the boyfriend-shaped body softly snoring in the tub.

So he padded over to the semi-closed shower curtain and blearily reached in to turn the water on for it to heat up while he got ready.

Almost as soon as the water turned on, a high-pitched shriek assaulted the young agent’s eardrums. Spencer did what, in his opinion, any caught-off-guard fully trained FBI agent would do— he squealed in shock and fell back on his ass. A moment later the shower curtain pulled back, revealing a very irritated -and very wet- Aaron Hotchner.

“Babe what the fuck,” the older man whined, wringing out his shirt and turning the freezing water off, “I was sleeping!”

“Oh this is my fault?!”

“Yes! Couldn’t you see me?!”

“I just woke up!”

“Me too!” Aaron pointed to his wet shirt as if to say you have no excuse for this.

Spencer let out a frustrated sigh and pushed himself up from the floor. Somehow he upset his boyfriend, he guesses apologies are on the table. He carefully stepped into the bathtub to face his dripping boyfriend and wrapped his arms around the soaking man’s neck, “I’m sorry,” he pouted quite prettily, “But honey, why were you sleeping in the tub?”

“I didn’t sleep in the tub. I went to sleep in our bed, then you woke me up in the tub.” Aaron grumbled.

Spencer thought Aaron looked positively insane. His eyes focused on the older man’s pupils as his hands checked for a fever.

“Do you have a concussion?” He couldn’t help but fret about the man who is usually so well put together. He was obviously in distress though what kind of distress completely eluded the dry man. Aaron waved Spencer’s worried hands away from his face, “No. Spence, I’m telling you, I didn’t sleep in the bathtub.”

“Then how did you get here?”

Aaron shrugged and swatted Spencer’s nosy hands away that were trying to inspect the grumpy man for any injuries, “Who knows? Let’s get some breakfast.” He calmly stepped out of the tub and headed out, leaving Spencer confused (for once).

“... But it’s 5 am.”

_____

Two nights later, it happened again. But this time Spencer awoke to the sound of sobbing. His heart just about broke in two at the sight of Aaron curled in on himself in the porcelain tub, shaking and covered in sweat.

The Unit Chief used to have terrors most nights. After Foyet, all of life’s problems seemed to unravel in his dreams. The sounds and images were so vivid that upon waking up he believed he had done what he’d dreamed. That he’d hurt his family or that Foyet had come back to finish the job.

During hard cases, Aaron would forgo sleep completely, knowing his mind would only haunt him with terror beyond his conscious capabilities. It left him exhausted and agitated for the rest of the investigation. The team and LEOs got frustrated but none had the guts to confront him, except for one young agent who took special notice of his boss.

So Spencer stepped in, and after weeks of getting closer and learning more about each other than they had in the past five years of working together, Aaron digressed and accepted the help that was offered. The following three months ensued so smoothly, the therapy was helping and Aaron couldn’t believe he was sleeping full nights again. He knew it was all thanks to Spencer, who had taken up a very special place in his heart. Aaron knew that Spencer would always be there when he woke up, like an anchor. Something real to hold on to and keep him in place.

It had been a while since Aaron had such a bad episode, luckily Spencer knew just what to do and jumped right into action. Without missing a beat, the younger man climbed into the tub and sat by Aaron’s head, taking hold of one of his white-knuckled fists and gently coaxing it open by rubbing his thumbs from the palm to the back of the hand. Constant pressure, soothing, real. With one hand he threaded his fingers through the brunette’s damp hair, stroking softly at his scalp, willing his nightmare mind to latch onto the familiar touch.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” He murmured sweetly like a mantra.

Eventually Aaron’s panicked sobs dissolved into pained whimpers, his body lost some of its tension, allowing for Spencer to gently lift his boyfriend’s head into his lap and off the hard floor of the tub. The whimpers died down to light trembles and Spencer shushed him comfortingly, continuing to sooth him with gentle strokes to his head. Slowly Aaron’s eyes opened and Spencer felt the moment panic set in. The taller man’s breathing quickened and tension returned to his body, frozen in fear. God, Spencer should have turned the lights on.

“It’s just me, darling. You’re home, Aaron. This is home. You’re safe.”

Aaron trembled more, his eyes glazed over as if reliving the nightmare, “Shhh you’re safe.”

Spencer placed a feathery kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead that seemed to anchor him immediately. Tentatively, Aaron looked up at his rescuer, relieved to be in his lover's arms and away from the nightmare universe that had felt so real. He burrowed further into Spencer’s lap, wrapped his shaking arms around his boyfriend’s steady hips. He tried to focus on Spencer’s heartbeat in an attempt to regulate his own. Spencer was warm, Spencer was safe. Always safe.

“Foyet?” Spencer asked cautiously, breath fanning over the older’s forehead. Aaron stilled at the name then nodded. The younger man knows that Aaron needs to talk about it immediately, even if it’s terrifying. It allows him to discern dreams from reality, so that the events and sensations of the night terror don’t ingrain themselves into the man’s memories of reality .

“... and Scratch,” Aaron gulped, “They had Jack. I couldn’t... I didn’t know what was real. Couldn’t tell if it was really Jack. He made me hurt him. Oh god, Spence… I hurt him.” Sobs wracked the pained man’s body once again, unable to forget the horror of the dream. Spencer rocked them back and forth.

“Shh… Jack is fine, he’s at Jess’s. You would never hurt him, Aaron.”

Aaron was spent, he couldn’t muster up the energy to talk. He fell asleep once more in his partner’s comforting hold.

_____

The next morning they woke up with aching muscles from being in the bathtub for so long. Spencer couldn’t help but be worried about his boyfriend. There was definitely something going on, and though he respected Aaron’s privacy immensely, he was afraid of the older man getting into a dangerous situation. Was he sleepwalking to the bathroom? What if he tripped and hit his head on the edge of the tub? But most importantly, why were Aaron’s nightmares leading him to the bathtub?

Spencer nuzzled Aaron’s neck in an effort to wake him up a bit more. “Darling, we need to talk about this.” The worry in Spencer’s voice was audible and prompted Aaron to sit up and sigh deeply. He didn’t think this part of his life would ever come back up to the surface, he’d avoided thinking about it for decades and he didn’t know what triggered the habit to resurface. But now it’s affected Spencer, and he knew he couldn’t keep the love of his life in the dark, but some things were so hard to talk about.

Aaron found himself panicking again, flashes of Foyet and his father clouding his mind once more. Images of Sean taking cover in Aaron’s arms while their father pounds on the bathroom door-

“I know. I-” He was cut off with the sweetest kiss.

“You can take your time sweetheart. No rush.”

Even at this stage in their relationship, Aaron wasn’t used to being treated so well. The kindness that naturally radiated off his boyfriend was enough to make his insides melt, the understanding words never ceased to choke him up. But he knew Spencer would be there to put him back together once he gave him all his pieces. He buried his face in the younger’s neck, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, relaxing into his hold. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s lean form, offering a safe space. Aaron had never been this vulnerable with anyone before his relationship with Spencer.

After a moment of just holding each other, Aaron’s breathing mellowed out and his voice cracked as he explained everything.

“After Sean was born, my dad started drinking. He’d always been somewhat aggressive, scary even. He- he’d get angry and take it out on my mom… and if she wasn’t there... But when he started drinking it got a thousand times worse. I vowed to myself to protect Sean at all costs, I promised him I would never let our dad get to him. So I took the brunt of it when he was sober. But when he was drunk… he would chase us, try to get to Sean specifically. He was just a little kid 5 or 6, I was 15. He would scour the house to find Sean so I took him and locked us in the only room in the house with a lock… the bathroom. I’d carry Sean in my arms and make a run for it. I blocked off the door with a cabinet and we sat in the tub until he passed out.. My dad couldn’t get in but he would pound on the door so loudly, his voice was so angry-”

Aaron inhaled hard, the grip on the back of Spencer’s shirt tightened and his breathing shallowed. Spencer continued rubbing soothing circles on his back, allowing Aaron to take his time.

“The bathtub was the only safe space for Sean and I. We spent whole nights in there, waiting for my dad to pass out. Sometimes we’d tell stories, play games, but other times we cried and I covered his ears with my hands, not wanting him to hear the horrible things our dad was saying. This went on until I went to college, I tried to take Sean with me but my mother wouldn’t allow it. My dad died a year later, when Sean was 9.

“I- because of that, if any of us had nightmares we’d go into the bathroom and sleep in the tub, because no one could get to us in there.”

Aaron swallowed thickly and timidly looked up to the honey-haired man. Had he sounded pathetic?

But Spencer cupped his cheek once again and kissed him lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re the strongest person I know, Aaron. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.”

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through his chest. He swallowed down all his uncertainties and let Spencer in, he was proud of himself. Both of them yawned in succession, still exhausted from last night and uncomfortable from sleeping in the bathtub.

With a cheeky grin the younger man announced, “Let’s go to bed, I’ll get us the day off.” Aaron was so grateful.

While he called in sick, Spencer had an idea, and he knew just who to call.

_____

“Boy Wonder! How wonderful to hear from you on this frabjous day! We miss you and the Bossman dearly. We are definitely… working. Work is happening, and we’re doing it, and it’s getting done. You can trust me on that. Definitely no piñatas in the break room, where would we even find one on such short notice? Emily doesn’t even know where to get balloons! Anyway, what magical service may I bestow upon thee today, my little lord?”

Spencer bit back a chuckle, “Hi Penelope. Listen I need some advice on… interior decorating-”

Immediately, he got cut off by a squeal, “I’m on my way!”

“No! Garcia- after work-”

The line goes flat.

“Dammit. I should’ve just texted JJ.”

_____

Despite her best efforts, the rest of the team did not let Penelope leave the BAU for a ‘design emergency’. Fortunately for Spencer, that gave him some time to plan what he wanted to do while cooking lunch for his sleeping beauty.

After a full meal of soup and grilled cheese, Hotch retreated to the living room hoping to watch some History Channel with Spencer. They love watching the conspiracy shows together and debunking the awful propositions. Though Hotch learned quite surprisingly that Spencer is very open to the idea of aliens on Earth. However, he has a suspicion that that’s mostly wishful thinking on the part of Spencer's inner child. Nevertheless, it’s adorable and Hotch was excited for it, and waiting patiently for Spencer to finish cleaning himself up.

Before he could question what was taking so long, their doorbell rang a sweet lullabye sound (they had to change it from the awful buzzing that it was- it was too overwhelming for Spencer). Not expecting any company, Hotch was puzzled as to who could be at their door.

“Who is it?” He spoke through the intercom.

“Bossman! Sorry to hear about your incurable case of Work Sickness! If you could let me up, I brought you some warm soup!-”

Spencer bounded through the foyer from the bedroom, practically hopping over furniture and knocking down a flower arrangement, “I got it! I got it!” he heaved frantically.

“Babe, what’s Garcia doing in front of our building on a weekday?”

“Nothing Aar don’t worry about it, Penelope and I are just going out for lunch, see you later!”

Spencer grabbed his satchel and was out the door.

“But- Spencer you just had lunch!” The curly haired man was already running down the steps, “Bye!”

It was Hotch’s turn to be left alone and confused.

_____

In Penelope’s car, Spencer explained his idea to Penelope, without going saying too much about Hotch’s nightmares. In true Penelope fashion, the bubbly bits-and-bobs connoisseur knew the perfect place to get what Spencer needed. Penelope dragged Spencer around the independently-owned home goods boutique like a lost puppy for about two hours. She ended up with more bags for herself and Sergio than what Spencer needed.

A few texts and one missed call from Hotch wondering what the hell was taking Spencer so long prompted them to leave. Spencer thanked Penelope in front of their apartment and air kissed her goodbye, promising to show up at girl’s night next week..

Spencer walks into the foyer as quietly as possible and hides the bags behind the living room’s entertainment center.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah! I’m home!”

Aaron walked out of their bedroom with a soft smile. His round glasses were on, meaning he’s been reading… or looking at case files.

“Are you going through the case?” Spencer scolded.

The bespectacled man didn’t waver. “There’s something the victim’s parents said that doesn’t add up, they said that every Thursday Mandy went to soccer practice after school and swim practice in the next town over in the evenings. She takes the bus so if the unsub was stalking her he’d either have to take the same bus and risk getting caught or have a car- which goes against our age profile- so that would mean there’s someone driving him. Spencer, there are TWO unsu-” He was cut off by being pulled into a kiss. He hummed into it and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s slender waist, pulling them closer together. When they pulled apart Spencer whispered “Two unsubs. The team knows, they’re working on it. You-” he tapped his finger on the older’s chin for emphasis, “need to relax today.”

The resulting pretty pout was swiftly kissed away. None of that now.

“But I don’t know how to relax. I’m Aaron Hotchner, stoic as a statue, stern glare extraordinaire, Mr. Emotionless…”

Spencer rolled his eyes and trailed his hands down Aaron’s hard chest, “I know how to make you relax…” The other man grinned “Oh is that right?” Spencer smirked and led his boyfriend to the couch.

_____

That night when Aaron was gone to bed, Spencer quietly retrieved the bags from behind the TV and set his plan in motion.

_____

He’s trembling. And he can’t recognize his own thoughts, he can’t think straight, all he can see is his son- and Haley with terror written all over their faces.

He barely registers the sound of Jack’s wailing because, as if from right behind his ear, he hears a voice that he interprets as his own thought ‘shoot him’.

‘What?’

‘Pull the trigger’

He looks back up to his sobbing, terrified son, and without hesitation- click- BOOM-

Aaron bolted up from the bed, gasping for breath. His eyes darted around the dark. Jack? Where is he- Jack ohmygod-

His vision landed on Spencer’s sleeping form, breathing shallowly and folded into himself like a pretzel, sleeping soundly like an angel. Spencer. Real. Safe. He took a deep breath to regulate his heart. In for 4, hold, out for 6, repeat. This was exhausting.

Groggily, Aaron slipped out from under the covers and headed to the bathroom to get a drink of water and maybe splash his face a little. He thought of getting into the bathtub for the comfort he desperately needed right now, but he’d be embarrassed if Spencer found him in there again. Who does that? But nothing could have prepared Aaron for the sight before him when he opened the door.

Lights. Yellow, green, purple electric lights on strings, illuminating the room in a beautiful calming glow. They were suspended from the curtain rod of the bathtub, taped to the walls. Gorgeously scented candles perched on the sink, some on the ground, a few tea lights lining the edge of the tub. It smelled glorious and comforting and Aaron couldn’t tell what it was. Pine? Sandalwood? Campfire?

The most breath-taking part was the inside of the bathtub. Patterned sheets hung from the walls and draped over to form a delicate roof. Fluffy pillows perfectly laid out to coat every inch of the porcelain interior, and soft blankets piled on top for added comfort. Lights lined the inside of the sheet tent as well, it looked fantastical. Like something out of a book.

Aaron was floored, to say the least. Was this what Spencer had been doing today? He was flooded by a new emotion, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Spencer had done all of this for him? To make him feel safe?

He was still standing just barely in the room, taking everything in and getting emotional when he heard soft footsteps behind him and felt Spencer’s long arms slink around his waist. A chin hooked over his shoulder and a kiss was pressed to his neck.

“Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron nodded, “You did all this… for me?” A tinge of awe decorated his voice.

“Yeah,” his boyfriend whispered back, “So you don’t hurt yourself when you sleep in here.”

Aaron felt stupid for ever thinking his wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend would ever feel embarrassed by him. Of course Spencer took everything he admitted seriously, of course Spencer cared about what he’s been through, Spencer cares… that's what he’s been feeling. Taken care of. Important. For once in his life, he feels like he’s allowed to let himself be loved.

The stunned man seemed to be frozen in place, not knowing how to respond. His mind was overwhelmed with love for his boyfriend. Spencer pulled away and grabbed the older’s hands, Aaron let himself be led to the makeshift fort.

They climbed in together, careful not to knock over any of the burning candles. Spencer settled on one end of the tub and pulled Aaron into him before he could even think of not cuddling with him. He made space with his legs for his boyfriend to settle between, chest pressed to back, arms wrapped around his love. Safe, warm, and comfortable in a sea of cushions like twin yolks in a shell.

Laying here, in his lover's arms, surrounded by low tranquil lights, and the gentle rise and fall of Spencer’s chest, Aaron felt as serene as he’d ever been. Spencer slid warm hands under Aaron’s shirt, bringing one up to rest cozily on his heart. Aaron turned his head and nuzzled further into Spencer’s neck, feeling the familiar tingle of the man’s touch and murmured a low hum of approval.

Spencer’s other hand, that wasn’t on Aaron’s heart, was used to tip the taller man’s chin up to look at him.

“I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind,” he cooed, “sometimes it’s impossible to take yourself out of that world. But in our home, Aaron, I want you to feel safe and protected at all times. I want you to be vulnerable and unashamed. You’re free to be everything you are in here, and I hope that you feel you can be everything you are with me, too.”

Aaron lost himself in his partner’s deep gaze, glorious hazel eyes boring into him. Completely enamored by the words spoken to him, all he could do was nod and lick his lips, trying to regulate his heart rate for a completely different reason now. Spencer had never been so… authoritative before and his sincere but stern tone sent thrilling sparks down his spine. A blush rose up his neck.

Spencer tracked the slow movement of Aaron’s tongue sliding over his bottom lip, and didn’t fight the impulse to drag his thumb over it. “You’re always safe with me.” He barely whispered before angling his head down to catch those lips in a languid kiss. Aaron sighed into it, waiting a little while before pushing himself up to fix their awkward angle. He positioned them so that Spencer was laid down flat on his back, allowing Aaron to lay between his legs once more, chest to chest. They tangled themselves in each other, lips colliding again like a match to a box, igniting a fire in the both of them.

Both were still tired from waking up in the middle of the night, but the desire coursing through their bodies was a more pressing matter. Spencer lifted his hands to frame his lover’s neck and wrapped his legs loosely around his waist, inviting Aaron to grind down onto him, both already half hard from the anticipation. Spencer groaned into Aaron’s mouth. A sound that went right to Aaron’s dick.

They explored each other’s bodies with a youthful novelty, eager to feel more skin. Never once pulling their lips apart. Aaron slipped his hands under Spencer’s shirt and shoved it up under his arms, digging his fingers into those delicious hips. Finally he broke away from the kiss to pepper the younger’s face with sweet ones. Aaron’s heart grew three sizes at Spencer’s soft giggles and let out a low laugh of his own. How ridiculous were they, making out like teenagers in a bathtub fort? Neither much cared to answer that question though, because the impatient genius bucked his hips up to meet his boyfriend’s, who was still in his boxers, let’s get those off.

Spencer eagerly reached for Aaron’s underwear and palmed at his bulge just until he heard that impatient sound from him. He pulled the man’s cock out now fully hard and dripping with precum. A groan escaped the both of them at the sight and sensation. They wasted no time in getting Spencer out of his nerdy physics flannel pajama pants, and grinded their dicks together. Lighting sparked right through the both of them, Aaron balanced himself on one arm near Spencer’s head and took both of their lengths into his right hand.

The rub of their slick cocks together was spectacular as Aaron kept a slow and steady pace, making sure to draw out all the best sounds he knew Spencer could make by nipping at his neck, where he knew the younger man was ticklish. Spencer whined at the excruciating pace, turning into a desperate whimpering mess. Making Spencer wait was so fun.

Spencer’s hands find grip in Aaron’s short hair, keeping him close, feeling the pull of Aaron's big hand on his dick and grinding up to meet him. It’s intoxicating bliss, being taken over the edge by the man he loves.

Their worlds minimized to just the slide of their cocks and the lips on their skin. The whimpering man felt the familiar build up in his abdomen, moaning freely now as he chased his orgasm, guiding Aaron’s hand with his own to feel his touch everywhere.

“Yeah baby,” Aaron encouraged, his own orgasm coming on quickly, “Cum for me baby.”

Spencer sputtered his release over both of their hands and stomachs, momentarily suspended in the intense bliss of his orgasm. He laid there spent, feeling like putty in Aaron’s hands, and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. He took his lover’s cock in hand and pumped him quickly, thumbing the head of his dick on each upstroke. Aaron came with a groan and a shudder, his arms gave out. They laid there catching their breaths for a while, ignoring the drying stickiness between them and tracing slow patterns on each other’s skin. They were so lucky to have each other.

“How are we going to shower now?” Aaron looked up and pouted.

“There’s a perfectly good sink just 5 feet away.” They laughed, Aaron pulled a blanket over them.

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Taglist: @foxtrot91 @physics-magic @ssa-sarahsunshine @hearteyedhotch

#hotchreid #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #spencer reid x aaron hotchner #spencer reid fic #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds fic #my fic #bathtub au

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

Text

Biggest Regret

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This one wasn't a request. I have Billy on the brain so much that I literally woke up and this popped into my head as I was laying there trying to fully wake up and I had to write it lmao It's just a little thing. A letter from Billy to you. I know a lot of you guys might want a part two for it, the resolution to the letter and there's a few ways it could go. So if anyone asks for a part two, let me know how you want it. Angsty? Fluffy? A mix? And I'll see what the general consensus is. I already have a slight idea about it but I wanna know what you guys want.

Also this is my AU dreamland where Billy didn’t betray Frank looool

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness and regret from Billy. Talks of pregnancy and babies and abandonment.

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Y/N,

I know it's been a while and I don't even know if you still live where you did back then or if you'll get this. I'd say some shit like I hope you're doing well, which I am, but… I know you won't want to hear it.

I'm overseas again right now with Anvil. Me and Frank are taking point on a serious mission we're doing. Anvil's doing pretty well right now and we just got a contract from the CIA which is how we ended up here. Being out here like this, it reminds me of being deployed. Part of me missed it, I guess.

It's given me a lot to think about. It's funny how life and death situations do that to you, puts it all in perspective. And I know… I know you probably hate me and I don't blame you but I just hope if you do get this letter that you at least read it all.

I never should have walked away last year. I used to think I was a brave man, I mean the shit I've faced in the marines and with Anvil… I never backed down and I always fought. But with this. With you and the baby, I tucked tail and ran and I'll never forgive myself for that.

Honestly, I was terrified. I didn't think I could be the man you and the baby needed. I don't know what it's like to have loving parents and I hate myself so much for walking away. I don't want to do to my own kid what my mom did to me. I don't want them to grow up thinking I don't care, that I don't want them. It was never about that. I was never angry you were pregnant, I was never resentful. I was just scared that I'd fuck it up beyond repair so I got out of there before I had the chance.

I should have been there for you, Y/N. I should have been there to hold your hair from your face when you got sick. To go out at 3am and get you pickles or whatever the fuck it is that pregnant women love to eat. I should have been there with you at the birthing classes and the scans and the appointments. I should have been there to hold your hand in the delivery room, to tell you what an amazing job it is you're doing. I should have been there to hold my kid when they came into the world. To be there for you and them.

I can't take that back. I can't rewind time and be there and I wish I could. I don't know anything about my own baby which hurts the shit outta me and it's my own fault. I don't know if they're a boy or girl, how old they are. I know they'll roughly be a few months old based on when I walked away but that's about it. Do they look more like me or you? Are they a happy or fussy baby? This is the shit that's been running through my head out here. Fuck… I don't know if…. I don't even know if you kept the baby and that shit hurts too deep to even consider. But I know you well enough. Or at least I think I do. And I don't think you would have done that. As much as it would kill me inside, if you did I wouldn't blame you. I'd left you all alone to deal with it and I know neither of us planned a kid.

Frankie was the one who told me to write this. He's been putting up with me nonstop the last month of us being out here crying talking about you and the baby. He and Maria miss you, the kids too. Maybe that alone should have told me back then how important you were to me. I'd never introduced any of the girls I slept with to them, but it just felt natural to me back then. I'd wanted to. I couldn't even see just how much you meant to me.

It's like they always say, you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone. And I didn't know just how much I cared about you until that day I walked away and I fucking miss you, Y/N. Frank and Maria always ask if I'd heard anything about the baby or if I've reached out and it breaks my heart every time with how disappointed they are. I guess I never really thought they'd be excited for me to have a kid. But they're my family, of course they would be.

Frank roughed me up, you know that? I didn't tell him right away about the baby. He'd ask about you and I told him we decided it wasn't working like the coward I am. But then a few weeks after I told him the truth. He clocked me in the jaw, yanked me around as he yelled about how stupid and selfish I was. And I let him. He was right and I deserved it. I don't think I've ever seen Frankie so mad before and that's saying something.

I know I should have reached out sooner, but being out here on the front lines like this, it reminds me of how fleeting life can be. And I wish it didn't take something extreme like that to give me the balls to man up and write this to you but I think we've all established I'm not as brave as I once thought I was.

I have no right asking you for anything, I know that. But I miss you and I want to be a part of our baby's life. And you can ignore this letter or tell me to go fuck myself and I'll listen. If you tell me to stay away, I will. I owe you that much. But I'd… even if you could tell me about them a little, it would mean the world everything to me. And I know I don't deserve shit but I'm selfish and asking you anyway.

I've seen and done a lot of shit in my life and your face has haunted me every single night since the day I walked away. I saw how scared you were. You were just as terrified as me about the baby and I wasn't there for you. I didn't comfort you or reassure you that we'd get through it together. Instead I shut down and told you I couldn't do it, I wouldn't do it. And then you looked at me with such heartbreak that it makes my chest feel tight and I fucking hate it. Every time I close my eyes I remember those looks and I know I'm a piece of shit for ever putting them on your face.

It hurts more that you just accepted it. Like you expected it from me. I guess you knew me well enough to have an idea how it would go when you told me. And then you fucking respected my wishes and didn't contact me about anything. You didn't owe me that. You should have harassed me, called me a piece of shit, fought me, got child support. Fucking something. But of course you didn't. You've always been too kind and caring for that. Always looked after me even when I least deserve it.

And I guess I'm hoping that even through the hate and betrayal you feel for me, that maybe somewhere in there you still care even just a little. Enough to put me out of my misery. Enough to send even a letter with the bare minimum details about our kid. I'm hoping that I didn't change you because you were perfect as you were and the last thing I want is to have fucked you up because of my own insecurities.

There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of you. Think of the baby. I wonder how you're both doing and if you're happy. I know you'd be a great mom and despite it all, I'm glad that if I had a kid with anyone that it was you. I'm coming back stateside in three weeks. It's gonna kill me not knowing if you've wrote back or not but I won't hold it against you if you don't.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. For making you go through all this alone. For walking away from you and the baby like I did. If I was there I'd be down on my knees begging for forgiveness for what I did. All I can hope is that you take some mercy on me, even just a little.

I miss you, Y,N. I miss you so much it hurts and I'm just sorry. Whatever you decide, I'll understand and respect it. I love you. And yeah I probably shouldn't say that, might feel like a smack in the face after everything I've done, but I do. And I know I never told you that when we were together. We were never really 'serious' or whatever, or at least that's what I told myself. But it was only ever you. When I was with you there were no others. And I couldn't see it at the time but I'd fell in love with you the moment we met in that damn grocery store. I don't know if you ever felt the same about me but I know even if you did I've ruined that. I don't expect anything from you. I fucked up and I know that. But it doesn't change that I want to be there now. I want to know about our baby, I want to be part of their life. I want them to grow up knowing I care about them because I do.

I hope to hear from you when I'm back but I won't hold my breath. I hope… I hope you're both doing okay and I'm just sorry for everything. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Billy

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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drwcn · 3 years

Text

《 Without Envy 》 storyboard 9 - concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj [Master List], you should also have read [6] [6.2]

Lan Qiren coming to visit Hanguang-fu effectively put an end to Wei Wuxian's time as Lan Wangji's servant. He wanted to send Wei Wuxian back to Jiang-fu, but luckily, Jiang Yanli interfered.

Jiang Yanli has been slowly recovering since her drug-induced miscarriage, and while Wei Wuxian had slowed her progress with sedatives, he's been careful to keep an eye on her intake to make sure Jin Ziyan hasn't been messing with her again. As well, with Wei Wuxian occupying Lan Wangji's time and keeping the Jiang family in his good graces, Jiang Yanli had the time she needed to recover fully without needing to push herself to entertain Lan Wangji for favour.

“妾身见过太师，给太师请安。” “阿离啊，听说你小产后一直身体不好，这下着雨，你怎么来了。起身吧, 孩子。” “承蒙太师与陛下惦记，殿下垂怜，阿离的身子已经大好了。阿羡本是妾身院里的，是妾身的陪嫁，一直都安分守己，对王府对殿下忠心不二。是妾身无用，身子一直不见好才让阿羡到王爷身边侍奉。刚见阿羡被太师训斥，相比是阿离平日里管教无方，无心顶撞了太师。有什么过错，都是妾身的错，还请太师责罚。” ~translate~ Jiang Yanli dipped into a proper curtsey, kneeling before Lan Qiren, "This humble concubine greets Taishi. I pray that you've been well." "A-Li, I've heard that you've not been well since your miscarriage. It's raining today, what troubled you to come? Rise, child." Lan Qiren's stance softened upon seeing Jiang Yanli. His late sister-in-law had no daughters, and so often summoned the daughters of nobles into court to dote on and mentor as her own. Jiang Yanli, gentle and proper, has long been known to be a favorite of the late empress. She may not be the greatest beauty in her generation, but was second to none when it came to etiquette and grace. "Thanks be to His Majesty and taishi for remembering, and thanks to dianxia's for his care, my health is much improved now. A-Xian was once a member of my court, my peijia. I've always known him to be obedient and conscious of his place, and loyal to wangye and this princely manor. It is only on account of my poor health that he's been summoned to serve at wangye's side. Earlier, I heard Taishi chastising him; surely it must be A-Li's fault for failing to teaching him propriety and thus causing his unintended offence. The fault is with A-Li, and so I humbly submit myself to your discipline, taishi." Lan Qiren sighed. He did not wish to stir up trouble over a servant. If Jiang Yanli was willing to stand up for this Wei Wuxian, then he must have his uses. At the very least, he'll be a confidant for Jiang Yanli against Jin Ziyan. Lan Qiren so hoped that one day Wangji would choose the Jiang girl as his legal spouse and secure his marriage once and for all. If sparing one lowly servant was the price then so be it. "Very well, A-Li. Since the servant is yours, then his training and discipline shall be your responsible. He is unsuited to serve at the prince's side. It is good that you have recovered; Wangji should not be without a caring partner."

And so, Wei Wuxian returned to Jiang Yanli's side as a servant. Lan Wangji had to watch him go and could not interfere. The next several days was depressing for both of them on multiple fronts.

Xue Yang was very unimpressed:

"So you're tell me that you got to spend quality time with Lan Wangji for months and then... didn't get anywhere?" "I was getting there okay? How was I supposed to know his stupid uncle was gonna barge in like some nosey busybody and ruin everything!? I haven't seen Lan Zhan in days..." I miss him. How horrifyingly embarrassing. He probably forgot me already. "Don't tell me you actually miss him??? That you - barf - fell for him? Whatever happened to standards??!" "You watch your mouth, Xue Chengmei! I'm still your shixiong! And I have standards; Lan Zhan is...very good." Xue Yang: ( ˘︹˘ ) whatever.

Lan Wangji, the sulky boy that he is, brooded for days until Lan Xichen finally sought him out for some good ol' brotherly heart to heart.

"I hear Uncle took away your shiny new toy." "Wei Ying is not a toy." "Wei Ying is it?" Lan Xichen wiggled his eyebrows. "Ah, didi, you have to think a little more creatively. So your Wei Ying has gone back to his mistress, but is his mistress not your concubine? Jiang-furen is still unpregnant, I might add. Visit her. Then surely you'll get to see him." Lan Wangji grimaced. The thought has occurred to him, but the idea of bedding anyone not Wei Ying is intolerable. "Yes, Yanli is lovely, but I'd rather not...you know..." His brother was too polite to roll his eyes. "You've done it before, Wangji." "I would not have had to, if xiongzhang simply did his duty." Lan Wangji bit back icily, and instantly regretted it. Lan Xichen's eyes widened, his cheerful-teasing expression stuttering and crumbling in seconds. "Yes...yes that's true." "My sincerest apologies, huangxiong - no - bixia." Lan Wangji rose to his feet and then bowed down deeply. "I forgot my place. I accept any punishment." Lan Xichen sighed and extended a forgiving hand to pardon him. "Not necessary, Wangji. You're right. I haven't done my duty for Gusu." He pulled the younger man to sit beside him again. "You are doing this in my stead, stepping up where I have let the country down. I should not make light of your sacrifice. The matter of a harem is inevitably complicated, which is why I never cared for one. Neither did Father. His harem had always been sparse, and his first empress was not one of his choosing. When she died in childbirth and our unborn sibling along with her, he elevated our mother's rank to Empress and visited no one else henceforth." "Mother was never popular with the ministers for that reason." "Yes. They suspected that she had something to do with...well, in any case I imagine they were quite relieved when she passed." Lan Xichen shook his head. "The harem is not a happy place, Wangji. You were born after Mother was already Empress, you would not have remembered a time when she was consort. But I do. Like you, your concubines did not get to choose their fate. The fault, ultimately, lies with me." "Huangxiong -" "It's true, Wangji. The fault is mine." Lan Xichen patted him on the arm placatingly. "You cannot love them, and clever as they are, I don't think your concubines would expect you to. However, you can ensure their happiness in other ways. Jiang-furen seems the kind to very much want a child of her own. It will make the rest of her life in your harem more bearable."

After some deliberation, Lan Wangji went back to his routine of visiting different concubines regularly, but never more than just sharing a bed-space. With the exception of Jiang Yanli. Lan Wangji could see it in her eyes; she knew who he really wanted, but those words never needed to be said aloud. Jiang Yanli was kind to him, and he was kind to her in return. All things considered, it wasn't awful being with someone who wasn't your preferred, but who knew you for yourself and shared your struggles.

"Dianxia, you must've heard, that before I married into your wangfu, I was betrothed to Jin Zixuan." She mentioned one evening over a game of weiqi. Of all his concubines (which he has 4) and friends (which he has few), Jiang Yanli's skill on the weiqi board was unparalleled. Lan Wangji half wondered how the Marquis and Marchioness of Yunmeng could have buried this talented daughter of theirs under the shadow of their son for so many years. "Yes I am aware." "I loved him." "...." For a minute Lan Wangji did not know how to reply. He stared at the chessboard. Jiang Yanli's black pieces had surrounded his white ones and forced them into a corner. "Why are you telling me this?" "Your court, my clan: we are their creatures." Jiang Yanli 's smile was knowing. "I am not A-Xian; I can see what he cannot." "Which is?" "You've fallen for each other. Completely. He denies it, heaven knows why." Jiang Yanli took a delicate sip of tea. Fleetingly, Lan Wangji imagined that if he could not have Wei Ying, if he were forced to take a legal wife to make empress, that she would make a magnificent one. "Father loved Mother. Loved her as a wife even when she was only a consort -" "And his love spurred the hate of the royal court." "They blamed her for his loving a woman more than his country, as though she should have persuaded him to love her less. I do not want the same to happen to Wei Ying." "Nor I." "Huangshu says I would need a legal spouse one day, someone virtuous and from a strong pureblood family." "Is that what dianxia wants?" "I want it to be Wei Ying, though I know it to be impossible. Barring that, I'd want to keep him safe in the harem, the size of which will only grow after I succeed the throne." "For that, dianxia will need a spouse who will reign over the harem as you rule over the country." Lan Wangji contemplated his choices and the options available to him. After some time, he placed the white piece he fiddled between his fingers back into the bamboo bowl, conceding that he'd lost this round. Jiang Yanli waited patiently for him to come to terms with the offer she already knew he would make. He wondered how long ago she had foreseen this moment, whilst simultaneously realizing that if his uncle had any idea just how intelligent she truly was, he would not be so quick to suggest her as a candidate for princess consort. A weak emperor and a strong empress never boded well for the stability of the realm. This was dangerous waters Lan Wangji was wading into, but he knew beyond doubt that the only way to survive was to keep straight ahead. He had no other path to take, none which maximally balanced what he wanted with what he needed. Jiang Yanli was his only solution, his only ally. "Huangxiong suggested that we have a child together." He finally said, staring her squarely in the eyes. "You and I can agree that the son of Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang would certainly be a strong contender amongst his brothers." "She could be a daughter." "Then I'd cherish her more. A child and a crown - would they make you happy, Yanli?" "If I said yes?" "Then they're yours." Jiang Yanli smiled.

Two months after Wei Wuxian was dismissed from Lan Wangji's service and the prince began visiting Jiang Yanli, good new was delivered to Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. The message was this: Hanguang-wang's Jiang-furen was with child yet again.

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #cql ficlet #corie fics #without envy #i said i'd do this for yall #and so i did

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh*#he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad

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shurisneakers · 3 years

Text

shut in [10]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting, abuse

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: double digit chapter!!! like 3 parts to go everyoneeee woo!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The nostalgia was strong.

The last time you and Sam were sitting like this, you were deciding on what to make of the bread supply that was now dwindling. The soup had ran out maybe a day or two ago and you were left with just bread, peanut butter and jelly.

You two had to devise an escape plan. You’d been there long enough and now with Sam making his first public appearance as Mob’s Most Wanted, even if it was for a good cause, there was no doubt that people would be after you.

“What if we go back to Ransone and let the rest sort itself out along the way?”

You made a note of it on the paper but you weren’t very convinced with the idea, not with the realisations you had made along the way.

“Do we know any other hideouts?” you asked instead, tapping the pencil against the paper.

“None that you don’t already know.” He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “What are your thoughts on caves? Think we can make a bed outta some leaves?”

You wrote down ‘Sam’s cave idea’, just to humour him. Stupid, but more plausible than other options.

“If we make a run for it, what are the chances we’ll survive?”

“With law enforcement, civilians and gang members looking for us, I’d give us about-” you said candidly, “-two months. Three max.”

It wasn’t like you had no experience running from the state, but it was never on this scale.

“We’d have years if it was only law enforcement, but we had to go get the entire fuckin’ mafia involved,” he huffed in annoyance.

An idea occurred to you that made you pause, but you hated it.

“What if we split up?” you suggested halfheartedly. “It’ll take them more time to find the both of us, if they’re looking for us together.”

When he didn’t reply, you looked up at him from the sheet in front of you.

“We’re not splitting up,” he began steadily, just as you knew he would. “The same people who are after you are after me. We need to stick together.”

“I know. I’m not saying we can’t meet again after that, I’m saying that maybe it’ll be easier for us to hide.”

He couldn’t deny that it wasn't the worst idea, but something didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to do it.

“Okay, then how do we find each other after that? When? I don’t have your email; fuck that, I don’t even have your number.”

“We’ll schedule it, I guess,” you murmur, trying to work out the logistics. “Whoever gets there late has to buy ice cream. And I’m particular about the flavour I like.”

You tried to lighten up the mood but he wasn’t having it, as much as he appreciated it.

“I don’t care if it’s more difficult,” he said slowly. “But I’d like us to stick together. Not until we’re out of this mess. Then if you want to never see my face again, which you shouldn’t because it’s beautiful, we’ll go our different ways.”

He was adamant about it, and you knew he’d argue and poke holes into the plan until it didn’t make sense anymore. You weren’t going to argue.

“Okay,” you accepted. “We stick together.”

A smile spread across his face which equated to one of triumph. “You got any other ideas?”

“We stay right here and fight off whoever comes.”

It was dumb. This place wasn’t yours, and staying here would be a death wish. That didn’t stop you from saying it since neither of you were holding back on implausible ideas.

“This is our house now,” Sam added with determination, playing along.

“Damn right,” you affirmed, cracking a smile at him.

Bringing your attention back, you stared at the list. There is one option you wanted to explore but you weren’t sure if you could because you didn’t have the resources. But he may.

“You got any friends whose help we could use?” you asked cautiously, unsure of how this would play out.

He continued chewing on his lip for a second like he was analysing all options, before nodding.

“I got a friend. Well, my only friend,” he corrects himself. “His name’s Riley.”

“He got a place we can stay, this Riley?”

“He does. But I don’t want to involve him. He’s-” he paused, trying to find the right words to frame what he’s thinking “-he’s been through a lot.”

“We’ll leave him alone then,” you assured, realising that it must be a touchy topic for him.

Sam didn’t move on, though.

“I’m all ears if you want to talk,” you offered.

He pressed his lips together, giving you a tight smile. He looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. You reciprocated, hoping it would give him some reassurance, noting how he exhaled softly.

“When I joined the cartel, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to since everyone was much older than I was. Riley was the first friend I made. He was a mouthy li’l one.” Sam smiled wistfully and you found yourself smiling with him. “He talked so much shit and he had the spunk to back it up but he never really got that far because no one wanted to test their luck with him.”

“We spent whatever free time we had together. He didn’t have a family so he and I-” he trailed off but you knew what he was getting at. “Ransone found out. Didn’t like anyone in his stupid squad becoming all buddies because if we turned against him, he knew he’d lose.”

Shared experience. You didn’t have any friends in the organization either; they were always separated from you willingly or by force. You wondered if that’s why you had taken such a liking towards Sam, knowing fully well that it was the first time in years you were able to be friends with someone without having to worry.

“He started pittin’ us against one another. Combat training, preferential treatment, just plain out sabotage. Riley’s the reason my back’s all kinds of fucked up.” He gave a short laugh. “Tried everything he could to make sure we’d stay away or even kill each other if it came to that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we didn’t,” he confirmed. “Ransone fuckin’ hated it, so one day, he decided that he’s going to finish it once and for all. Sent us on a fake mission so that we’d be alone together, then told us that only one of us could come back. One of us had to die or else both of us would. Some sick fuckin’ form of entertainment.”

It was exactly something that Ransone would do. Dramatic, vile and utterly despicable, just for his own joy,

Your eyebrows knit together when his eyes glazed over.

“Riley, he- he didn’t even let me have at the gun. Just straight up chose for the both of us that he was going to be the one who died. He was so tired, of everythin’.” The muscles in your jaw tightened at where this was going. “He didn’t do it though. We figured out another way.”

You didn’t realise how tensed you were until you forced yourself to relax.

“Faked his death.” He shrugged. “It was the only way. Let Ransone believe he bled out and that I buried him behind the warehouse he sent us to. Shot him in the leg to make it look convincing. He’s still got a limp.”

“He made a run for it. Found himself a place in New Orleans, changed his identity, basically made turned into a whole new person. Ransone bought it for a while because I’d make it a point to visit the grave, leave some flowers and shit. Told him that if he messed with it that I’d put a bullet in his head and I was angry enough for him to see that I wasn’t kidding. I knew he’d figure it out eventually but I was hoping I’d get rid of him by then.”

“He lived in New Orleans for years. Never had a problem until recently.”

Sam paused for a second, but it gave you the time to pull up an old conversation you had with him.

“He’s the one Ransone threatened you with,” you connected the dots. “He’s the one he found.”

“Said he’d kill him if I didn’t take out Pierce for him,” his words were bitter, confirming what you said. “Sent me a picture of him in front of his house to prove it.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” you breathed, leaning back. Sam’s situation was more dangerous than you initially thought. Having Riley in the picture just made it more difficult to help Sam get out of the organization, especially since he was now leverage material.

“You asked me once what the scariest thing I had done was.” You didn’t get immediately what he was talking about until you remember the questions you had asked to get to know him better. “It was that. Getting him out of this life and trying not to get caught in the process.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“He’s the only family I got left.” The way his voice dropped made him sound so tired. “He’s already on their radar. If they find out I’m staying with him or that he’s helping in any way, they’ll kill him.”

You didn’t say anything, not like you had anything constructive to offer at that moment.

“That got dark real quick,” he remarked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Clearly he didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. To explain the entire thing from the beginning must have drained him completely.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you said quietly.

He paused for a second, looking like he was thinking to himself.

“Me too.”

______

The sky’s beautiful, you decide.

You could stare at the clouds for hours.

Which is what the both of you have been doing.

“If you fucking say it’s anything other than a dog, I’ll push you off the roof myself.”

“It’s clearly a penguin, Samuel.”

“I hate you.”

The cement was cool against your skin even though there was a blanket serving as a mediator between you and it. The sun nipped at your skin and your back was aching from staying in the same place for a prolonged period.

Sam tended to think better when he was outside, unconstrained by harsh white walls and artificial light. So you grabbed a spare blanket, a bottle of water and the ladder to haul the both of you to the roof. It was filthy, as you expected but you managed to tidy a part of it to the best of your ability before laying the blanket down.

“I know why you brought me up here, Y/N,” he piped up.

You just knew that when you needed some space, he often implored you to go outside. You figured the best way to help him was to do the same, not knowing what else you could have to give.

“Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it,” he added.

Okay good. It helped.

“That’s a tree.” You pointed upwards, avoiding his gaze.

“You get three more seconds to change that answer to a table.”

“That looks nothing like a table. You’re delusional.”

He laughed, not offering a counter argument.

The outside did him good. He was calmer than when you first came here a few hours ago. He didn’t let his spite towards Ransone show very often, especially at this volume. Talking about Riley only reaffirmed how much he despised the man.

“We need to get out of here eventually, you know?” you mused.

You don’t want to. You don’t want to admit that saying it out loud made it worse.

“We do,” he sounded sure and you wondered if he ever felt bad about it too, “but we need a proper plan.”

The clouds shifted. It looked like a kid on a bike; not that you’d ever tell him. He would never agree.

“We need help,” you stated.

“We can’t.” You knew he’d say that.

“You know we do, Sam.”

“There’s no one out there we can trust.”

You liked that he used ‘we’. The only other times you had been referred to as ‘we’ had been for things so sinister, so violent.

His elbow was touching yours lightly. You wanted to move closer, press against him.

“There’s one person who might be able to.”

He turned to look at you questioningly. You did the same.

You waited till he figured it out on his own. His face shifted the minute it clicked in his head.

“No way.” He turned away, almost laughing out of bewilderment.

“It’s our only option.”

“Then we’ll find another one,” he began to sound more insistent, realising you were being serious. It was a crazy idea, you’d give him that, but it’s the only one you had that had a sure shot of working.

“We’ve tried. You’ve tried. There’s only one way,” you knew that getting annoyed wouldn’t get through to him and you also understood his hesitations. “He’ll help.”

“We don’t know that. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous.” He couldn’t afford that; not this late in the game.

“I know it. Lis- Sam. Look at me,” you commanded gently, and he obeyed reluctantly. “I understand that this is absolutely batshit wild, but I promised I’d help you. This is the only way I can think of. But I need you to trust me.”

He looked unsettled.

He didn’t have anything to go on. Only your word and his faith in you. He could say no and he knew you’d spend countless hours pouring over multiple options just to find another way. He could say no and you’d take it in stride and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about not trusting the others.

But he could also say yes and let you take control, trust your instincts. You had never let him down before and he knew you wouldn’t now. He could say yes and help you work on one solid plan that had equal chances of failing as it did being a success, but it was something that you could be sure of.

“I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

He felt your fingers trace at his face patiently. He scooted closer, letting your bodies press gently against each other.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I trust you.”

He didn’t know if he made the right choice or not, but the smile that appeared on your face made him think that maybe he did.

God, he was done for.

___

“You ready?” you asked him.

“No, but what the hell; let’s do it.”

You let it ring right to the very end.

“Hello.” It seemed gratuitous at this point because you knew the conversation wouldn’t proceed with that.

“Code?”

“1993.”

“Y/N. Hello,” his voice came back loud and clear.

“Hey.” You snuck a glance at Sam. He was completely stiff.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been… good,” you admitted.

“Oh?” he sounded amused. “That’s a change.”

“Yeah.” You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “Listen, I need help.”

“Help with?”

“We need to get out of here. We can’t do it without you. I mean we can, but it’d be better if you lent a hand.”

“When you say ‘we’, you’re referring to…”

“Me.” Sam stepped forward towards the phone. You shifted it so it was between you.

“Oh, hello,” he sounded surprised, and he had good reason to be. “You know about-”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Y/N, you trust him?”

“Yeah,” you looked up at Sam, “I do.”

“Alright. If shit goes wrong, you’re both fucked. I’m not taking any responsibility.”

“We get that,” you sighed. “Can you help or not?”

There was a momentary silence on the other end as he thought.

“Tell me what you had in mind.”

“We got a hit.”

They turned away from their conversation with the person walking beside them at the interruption.

“This better be important.” They gestured to their companion who looked annoyed at being interrupted. He was too dangerous to have on anyone’s bad side but the agent didn’t care. This was crucial.

“Someone saw him. Wilson.” He was breathless from the flight of stairs he had run to come upstairs.

“Where?” They could hardly believe their ears, restraining to contain the excitement that was threatening to rise.

“A town, miles away from Pierce’s place. Said he roamed around looking for a store, bought some food and then left.” His eyes shone. “We think we might know where they are. A rough sketch at least. Couldn’t follow him too far because he kept checking.”

“Finally,” their face gleamed, completely discarding the guest they had and the confusion on his face. “Some good fucking news.”

“Do you want us to put a hit out on them?” The relief the agent felt was almost overwhelming. His partner may have died but it didn’t look like he was going to.

“No,” they said crisply, certainly. “This one’s on me.”

Next part

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