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#anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting
katyspersonal · 7 months
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Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.
#/vent#personal#no but when will things stop getting worse?#in moments like this I feel especially bitter thinking about that asshole that went to me like:#'wahh wahh katy i won enough money in the court to buy everything I want but it doesn't matter because I can't buy YOU uwu'#*ten days later* 'actually I don't want a friend/sister anymore can you please stay in your bum spot and simply be my-#-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always?#like no I am not materialistic but when people make dramatic promises of this kind they better stick to them#'nooo but you MUST get out of russia!!!' bitch how? I can hardly afford enough food let alone travelling and living abroad#anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting#sorry it just makes me angry#not so much living in powerty and not being able to crawl out of debt and my life state no matter what#but more about a very consistent trend of having friends that one day get RICH and dump me as 'lower class' right after that happens#he is not the only one like that in my life he is just the most recent one#really speaks about how unlikeable I am if people lose interest in me as soon as they can buy happy things instead#shows that my worth as a human being is super low and I only work as entertainment when people can't buy something to do that instead#like videogames food travels objects books etc etc...#I am just below those things and less interesting than those things and I'll die early hahaha lol#hopes are that supernatural luck power that doesn't want me to escape easily will send me something to help. because yeah my situation-#-is B A D.
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I deleted your comment because it made me so mad, but I need to explain why so you don't keep doing this. You shouldn't make queer characters straight, but it's fine to make straight characters queer because they are not a marginalised group. They are not an underrepresented group. HC-ing straight people queer is not the same as HC-ing ace people allosexual. Asexual people are ridiculed and ignored within their own community, so when we get canon representation, that needs to be respected. When the media is as saturated with ace rep as it is straight rep, we can revisit this conversation, but until then if you like the dynamic of two characters there's no reason why you can't take that and make something new with it. You don't need to erase ace characters in the process. Hope this helps
That’s a dumb thing to think, and I think you know it. Characters from marginalised groups requiring protectionist double standards I mean. They’re fictional characters, they exist to entertain. They aren’t real or worth protecting, no matter what their sexual orientation or lack there of is. I literally kill my OCs in the name of fetishisation on my blog. You don’t protect fictional characters, they’re tools, they exist to be used and exploited no matter who they represent.
That’s not even getting into the fact that you aren’t even talking about media representation, you’re talking about fanfiction. A niche close knit form of media that the majority of people will never even see. If you’re trying to influence how others think on a societal or systemic level, fanfiction is a laughable way to do it. You can’t dictate how an audience reacts to a character. You can’t control who people will ship with who or what they write about. Fanfiction is a hobby, it’s done for fun, out of dedication and passion. You should be grateful that people like the same characters you like and the same stories you like enough to want to invent new stories for them, being picky about those stories in an artistic sense is fine, but pretending it’s a question of morality? That’s just self-righteous. It’s just bossing people around and shaming them cause you think you know better.
I ship Gale X Astarion X Tav even though Gale isn’t poly and Astarion has some definite sexual trauma in his past. I ship Yuugi/Atem even though Yuugi is canonically straight. I ship tons of other things that are not even remotely canon. It’s not wrong or evil it’s creative license and it’s fun.
I should clarify that the post they’re so mad about they deleted was me essentially saying: “I ship Yuugi/Yami no Yuugi, even though Yuugi is canonically into pussy, I’m not sparing the straights, so why would I spare the asexuals?” I forget the actual wording, I don’t think I mentioned pussy in so many words. So just think of this version as a slightly more crass and dramatic reenactment.
Anyway I don’t even feel offended by being deleted this time because I’m too taken back by the need of OP to correct my supposed bad behaviour.
I’mma be honest guys, while I told this person I would lance the sacred cow of canonical queerness. I don’t actually have that many fanfiction OTPs I can think of that are straight despite being canonically queer. (Does Pomni X Caine count? An AI could be assumed to be canonically asexual right? But then the Moon is implied to get frisky so…yeah I don’t think I can determine this with just a pilot episode)
So not only am I sex repulsed IRL and thus the last person who needs to be told that life is tough for folk on the ace spectrum but the supposed “horrible” thing this person NEEDS to stop me doing I’m not entirely sure I’ve actually done. (I’ve read ALOT of fanfiction in my life though so I could just be misremembering.)
If anyone’s wondering why I’m so passionate about this though. It’s cause I want to be a proper writer one day and fictional characters as tools to be exploited is an inalienable right for writers. Does this mean I think getting attached to or empathising with characters is bad if you’re a writer? Hell no! But you gotta treat them like Sims characters and drown them in the pool without a second thought. I like my Sims, I empathise with my Sims and I still wouldn’t fucking hesitate to murder them in cold blood. And THAT my friends is the ideal attitude we should all aspire to when writing.
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lady-grace-pens · 1 year
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Hey y’all, I just wrote an AITA post for Matt and I gotta share this shit lmao
It’s a few paragraphs long because uh… oh BOY Matthieu had some shit to talk
Taglist: @wordwizards @flowerprose
•••
Can’t believe I’m fucking doin’ this shit but… AMITA?
So my girlfriend (20F) and I (21M) have been dating for 4 years now. We started talking right after her first boyfriend (came from outta town—real city fella if you know what I mean) ditched her in the most disrespectful way possible. Fucker strung her along for four months of her life, and then just up and leaves her ass without another word.
Anyway, cut to now and rumors say the fucker is back in town. Right. Swell. My girlfriend tries to ignore it for the sake of her well being, but her bitchy little friends who can’t let go of the past want to go on telling her they know what’s best for her, and try and talk her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. Go and talk to the fucker. My girlfriend doesn’t need “closure” from this guy. She’s got all the closure she’s ever going to get from a man who didn’t care enough about her to give her the respect she’s due. Besides, it ain’t like she’s single and still wallowing in her self pity. She’s dating me for fuck’s sake.
I try and convince her to leave her ex alone, and by the skin of my teeth, she agrees. THEN the fucker turns around and wants to start worming his way back into her life again by attending her college and signing up for her club. I fight for everything I can to get her to deny him entry, but she doesn’t listen to anything I fucking tell her. She wants to go on feeling sorry for herself and mope like she doesn’t have a choice but to deal with him. Meanwhile here I am giving her a thousand and one solutions to her problem.
I, like the patient and loving boyfriend I am, settle with her and demand she ignores him as much as possible. She agrees, but you can imagine by now the red alarms in my brain are firing like dixie. So whenever all of us are together (at a party her club is having) of course you know her ex wants to glue himself to her hip chatting her ears up with all sorts of shit, pretending like I’m not even there. That’s when I make a grand display of affection for my perfect girlfriend, the kind that would make my Granddaddy proud, and tell the bastard off. In front of everybody. My best friend has to hold me back from fighting his ass. But then, this is the part I don’t fucking get, is how my girlfriend wants to turn around and pretend like I’M the villain here.
“Oh X, you’re making a scene,” she says. Yeah that‘s the fucking point. Seriously what the fuck did I do?
I force her back home and we argue about it. I feel like she’s cheating on me with the bitch—why else would she defend him? She denies it, claiming how he’s just being nice, so I do the rounds checking her phone. If she really isn’t cheating on me, then she won’t have a problem with me blocking his contact and locking her in her room. I go to bed with her that night, but when I wake up an hour later, she’s not there?? I catch her on the street in her nightwear walking back home.
I swear to God she better not be cheating on me. I can’t even get why she fell for him in the first place. Guy’s the type who wears earrings and prances around with a thin little sword in his hand singing about how he wants to be a pirate. Fucking airhead. Or as he calls it, “artist.” Yeah right. She has the epitome of manhood right here for the taking, but does she ever touch me? No.
Y’all, what am I doing wrong here? Don’t tell me this shit is all in my head. Have I ever done something to deserve this treatment? Am I somehow being an asshole??
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Trips (part 2)
Eddie Munson x fem reader
Author’s note- Hiiiii everyone I’m back for a part 2. I don’t really know how long this story will be or how long I want it to be but I’m gonna aim for a part 3 at least!
Warnings- mentions of drugs and drugs use, fluff, mention of abuse, foul language I think? Like one bad word I’m pretty sure, bad writing possibly, tension if you squint hard enough.
Summary-After tagging along with hellfire on their adventure will y/n risk their reputation and go full in on being in the hellfire club?
After getting home from Eddie fixing your truck you sit in your truck parked in your driveway. What the hell were you thinking? Staying out all night getting high in your driveway with some guy you barely know and then giving him your number to do it again? But there was just something about him. About the way he talked and the way he just existed that was slowly pulling you in. Ugh stop that you can’t sit in your driveway forever.
As the day continues you run your usual weekend errands of getting the groceries and picking up the mail and just generally going about life until you get home to do homework in your room. But usually the homework you could have flown through any other time isn’t getting done. Why? Eddie. He’s in your brain on repeat. His wide smile as he told the story in the hellfire campaign, his hooded eyes as you smoked in the back of his van. It’s driving you crazy until finally the phone rings, snapping you back to reality. For a moment you hope it’s Eddie calling until you hear Nancy’s voice on the other line.
“Y/n?”
“Oh hey Nance”
“Where have you been y/n? You never answered the phone last night or even this morning?”
“Oh sorry Nance I was uh…..out”
“Out? I thought you were going to go home after Hellfire”
“Well Nancy I was going to but uh my truck kinda broke down in the parking lot and Eddie offered to give me a ride home….and we ended up getting high all night in the back of his van and then he helped me fix my truck this morning”
“Y/n oh my god”
“What?”
“So did anything else happen in the back of the van or?”
“No Nancy nothing else happened in the back of the van. Eddie was a gentleman”
“Well, did you want anything else to happen in the back of the van?”
The line stays quiet for a moment cause you don’t quite know how to answer that. I mean you just met the guy obviously you weren’t going to hook up with him right? Right? Oh god you’ve been quiet for so long Nancy definitely knows something’s up.
“Y/n? Hellooooo? You still there?”
“Yeah yeah sorry I’m here Nance. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted anything to happen with Eddie in his van but I have a feeling maybe you don’t wanna tell me”
“Nance it’s not like that I just…well I hardly know the guy Nancy I mean sure he’s been really nice and charming so far but I can’t make any sudden judgments till I know him better”
“Know him better? Soooo does that mean you’re officially joining hellfire?”
“You know what Nancy I think I am”
Nancy didn’t say anything for a second once you said this and it made you slightly nervous. You know that doing this is going to plummet any sort of social status you have.
“Nancy? You’re not gonna stop talking to me if I join hellfire will you?” You say with a slight nervous chuckle.
You hear Nancy laugh over the phone giving you slight relief.
“No god no y/n but I was just thinking…since you’re actually doing it…maybe make it a statement.”
“What do you mean?”
“I meannnn walk in there with that hellfire shirt on and make it the most sexy badass outfit to let everyone know where you stand”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“Y/n you’re always saying how tired you are of all the people who pretend to know you anyways. Might as well walk in there and show them that they don’t”
You and Nancy stayed up talking about what outfit you were gonna wear when you walked in tomorrow. Obviously the Hellfire shirt would be the center point and you were really hoping Eddie didn’t mind you were wearing it on a Monday instead of Friday for their meets but since you’re making a statement you hope he doesn’t mind. You don’t end up finishing your homework that night but hell your grades will be okay without it. You just can’t wait to give ‘em hell.
Monday rolls around and all Eddie can think about the entire day, is if you meant it when you said “see you Monday”. Did it mean he’d see you in the hall and just get a wave or would you actually speak to him. You guys actually have last period together for English (which he wasn’t entirely sure you knew you guys had a class together cause either he didn’t show up or he was in the back with his head down) but he didn’t want to wait until last period to see you.
It was the end of fourth period and the bell rang for lunch and Eddie was still disappointed he hadn’t seen you at all today. Hell he didn’t even know if you were at school today. But he made his way to the cafeteria and sat down at the usual hellfire table as the rest of the club made their way in and to the table. They were all discussing aspects of the game and just making general small talk while Eddie was lost in thought scanning the cafeteria. You weren’t at the table with the party people, you weren’t with the jocks or the band. Maybe you just really weren’t here today.
That was what he thought until the cafeteria doors opened and you casually walked in amongst a sea of people. Eddie’s eyes immediately landed on you and he’s sure many other people are now looking at you too. Walking confidently with your head held high as you stride in wearing the Hellfire shirt paired with these skin tight black jeans and platform combat boots. You had the hellfire shirt tucked in and there was a black corset belt wrapped around your waist but still careful not to obscure any of the hellfire logo. The outfit also had chains at your thighs paired with plenty of rings on your fingers to match. Eddie was in awe. You looked like a rock and roll goddess to him. A goddess that he just realized is walking to his table.
You walked in the room and could tell that many people were staring at you. All the people you would sit with or have hung out with looking at you like you’re some kind of freak. And it made you a little happy. You’re not sure why but seeing them stare at you like you’d kicked their puppy or something made you more confident. You ignored when you walked by the jock table and very clearly heard Jason and your ex say something snide about your appearance but noticed out of the corner of your eye when Chrissy elbowed Jason.
You finally reached the hellfire table and sat down next to Lucas and Will across from Dustin and Mike. Meanwhile the entire Hellfire club is just silent and staring at you shellshocked. Nobody says anything and it’s making you nervous. Maybe you should have asked them beforehand? Maybe they didn’t actually want you here. You’re about to say something or apologize when Lucas finally is the first one to speak.
“See guys y/n finally realized who the real cool kids are”
You gave him a slight smile thankful for him trying to break the tension. But still nobody else speaks and although you haven’t looked at him directly you can feel Eddie’s eyes practically burning holes into your skull.
“Sorry I didn’t ask beforehand…but is it okay if I sit with you guys?”
Once you said that Eddie sort of snaps back to reality but his eyes are still laser focused on you and he slowly says
“Yeah yes of course that’s totally fine. You can sit with us whenever you feel like..”
You finally look up at him and make eye contact giving him a slight smile. And he gives a nice smile back.
“So uh Gareth as I was walking up I heard you say something about the next campaign. Are you guys planning another one?”
This seems to be what snaps everyone back to reality and they’re all ready to discuss D&D but they all get a little excited that you’ve asked about it and all begin talking over each other and it’s a bit overwhelming you can hardly keep track. Your eyes flick back to Eddie and he meets your eyes holding eye contact as everyone else continues talking and you both seem to zone out for a second until you hear Will saying your name.
“Y/n? Helloooooo earth to Y/n”
“Sorry what did you say. You were all kinda talking together and I think I got a bit lost”
“Well basically we said we’re starting another campaign this Friday and we wanted to know if you were coming”
The team expected some sort of hesitation or an “I’ll think about it”.So when you just immediately responded with “Sure I’ll be there” they all kind of sighed with relief. Finally Jeff had the courage to ask what nobody else was asking.
“Sooooo Y/n are you like officially in Hellfire now or are you just jumping in for a game or two?”
You looked around the hellfire table for a second and you said
“Well Id love to officially be a member” and then you looked back to Eddie and said
“If you all will have me”
The boys all erupted in cheer and laughter which I’m sure got the attention of the lunch room again.
“Of course we’ll have you in hellfire y/n this is awesome” Dustin said with a wide smile.
You spent the rest of lunch talking and laughing with the hellfire gang and had a really good time. You were actually excited to be a part of the next campaign from the beginning so now you’ll get to be fully invested. The bell for lunch rang and everyone was slowly making their way out of the cafeteria when Eddie called you back to the table.
“Hey Y/n wait up!”
“Hey Eddie what’s up”
“I just uh wanted to give you a personal welcome again from the hellfire club leader….and I wanted to say I really liked your outfit today. Think you really shook up the student body with that one”
Hearing him say that definitely made you blush and you were about to say thank you when he said
“For future reference though we do tend to wear the hellfire shirt on fridays” he said looking at you with a wide smile.
“I know…but I figured I’d just wear it twice this week and make a statement” you said sitting back down at the table. You were definitely going to be late for sixth period.
“Ah so you were trying to get everyone’s attention…..” as he said this he looked down and looked a bit sad even as his voice got quiet.
“Was I not supposed to?” you say with a bit of an awkward laugh.
Eddie looks back up at you and he looks a bit worried as he begins to speak.
“Y/n I’m really happy about you joining hellfire and all I really am…..but making a statement like that and hanging out with us…..it could affect you in bad ways….I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic here but…it could ruin your life” as Eddie said this he looked down at his hands and fidgeted with his rings.
“I know Eddie.” Is all you said and he looked up at you. You smiled at him and he smiled back and you sat there for a moment in silence.
“Well Eddie I’m very sure we’re both late for class now but I’ll see you in seventh period alright?”
And as you got up to leave the cafeteria he thought about what you said. You made a statement that you knew would make you a target along with all of them. Why? Why do that to yourself? Maybe you just didn’t understand the extent of how bad it could get. Would you regret this? Regret joining the hellfire club? Regret hanging out with them? Hanging out with him? Despite all of this Eddie knew one thing now. He was definitely not skipping seventh period today.
Seventh period rolled around and Eddie made his way to English and he wasn’t quite sure what he expected but he definitely did not expect to walk in and see you sitting at the desk next to his in the back of the class opposed to where you normally sat near the front. Eddie walked to his desk and sat down and tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention.
“Hey y/n” he half whispered because the class was pretty quiet.
“Hey Eddie” you whispered back.
“So uh you decided to abandon your front of class friends for me?”
“Pretty much…but the only reason I sat up there is actually because I can’t see the board from back here” you whispered through a laugh.
“Oh well then shouldn’t you go sit closer?”
Sure Eddie was stoked to have you sitting next to him but he didn’t want to be the reason you possibly start failing English because you can’t see.
“It’s fine I planned today pretty well so I’ve decided I’ll just have to start wearing my glasses when I actually need to see” and that’s when you pulled out a pair of red glasses and put them on. Eddie didn’t know how to describe it but how could you make wearing reading glasses so sexy? He wasn’t sure but you were pulling it off. His mind was immediately thinking of sexy librarians and the song hot for teacher when looking at you. He forced himself to stop thinking about that and made himself look towards the front of the class for any sort of distraction. That was probably the first day Eddie Munson paid attention in that English class because the entire time he was trying to pull his thoughts away from you.
Finally the bell rings and Eddie stands up to leave class and you realize you have to ask him now before he manages to run out of the building entirely. “Hey Eddie wait up”
“Oh uh yeah what’s up”
“Well I was just wondering if you wanted to come to my house and uh” realizing you’re in a classroom where the teacher could hear you, you improvise.
“If you wanted to come to my house and take a *trip* tonight” Eddie seemingly caught off guard said nothing for a moment. Just processing.
“Uh sure I’d love to but are you sure? I mean you want me to come over and take a *trip* on a Monday night?”
“Yup” that’s all you said with a wide smile and it made him laugh.
“Sure I’ll be there”.
You both walk out of class talking to each other about how boring that English class was as you walk down the hallway. Nearing the doors to the parking lot you both stop in your tracks at the sight you see. It’s Jason, Chance, and Patrick trashing Eddie’s locker. As you stand there stunned the guys finally turn away from Eddie’s locker and look at the two of you. Upon seeing you and Eddie, Chance looks at you and all he says is “oops”. The three boys go to walk away but you can’t help yourself from what you say next.
“You guys are such assholes” upon saying it you realize now might have been a good time to keep your mouth shut.
Chance walks up to you very close and in your face say’s “I’m sorry baby what was that. I didn’t quite hear you”. You never could help yourself when it came to you and Chance fighting. These guys are all the same trying to intimidate you and force you to back down.
“Fuck you Chance” you spit in his face and the second you do that he’s holding your jaw in a vice grip.
“Say that again bitch”. Upon saying this Chance is immediately shoved back hard by Eddie. Jason and Patrick catch him and Jason starts talking some sense into Chance.
“Not here man, not here. If anyone sees anything you could get benched or kicked off the team let’s go” Jason grabs Chance and Patrick and they walk away towards the opposite end of the hall.
As soon as they’re out of sight you turn around to see Eddie collecting the bits they destroyed from his locker. You go to help him clean it up realizing they purposely destroyed a bunch of his hellfire plans and sheets.
“Eddie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I had considered them treating me differently for joining hellfire but I didn’t consider they’d take it out on you. I’m so so so sorry Eddie” you felt so guilty holding all his destroyed hellfire plans in your hand. You’d been in the club for not even a full day and managed to get Eddie’s campaign plans destroyed.
“Hey don’t worry about it. Those guys are the ones that did this, not you. Hell even if you hadn’t joined those guys would have found some excuse to do this to me anyways” he said looking at you and now he noticed the tears in your eyes. He realized just how guilty you felt about it. He leaned over and wiped a tear from your cheek.
“How’s your jaw? Looked like he had a pretty tight grip there” Eddie said as he lightly and carefully traced his fingers around your face. Tilting your face slightly to check and see if you were hurt.
Forcing back tears and trying your best to not have a shaky voice you said
“Yeah I’m fine. Believe it or not I’m pretty used to it” you said with a quiet and somewhat sarcastic laugh. You hadn’t quite thought about what you said before you said it. Now looking back up at Eddie you realize what you’d just admitted to him and he looked devastated.
“I’m fine really trust me… anyways Um if you still wanna come over later, which it’s totally fine if you don’t but if you do we can work on rebuilding some of this campaign stuff and redoing the sheets…I mean I’m no D&D expert but I’ve got some of the books and Will made me quite the binder for it so I could be of some help” as you said this Eddie realized you were changing the conversation because obviously you didn’t want to address what you’d just said before.
He really wanted you to and hearing you say that devastated him. Everyone in the school knew you and Chance used to date. Everyone also knew you two were not a good happy couple but he never would have guessed that was a part of it. Maybe that’s why you two broke up last year. Thinking about it made his blood boil and he hated those assholes even more. But Eddie wasn’t going to pry and make you talk about something like that unless you wanted to or needed to.
“Yeah I think we can do that. Getting high and writing D&D. It’ll be pretty fun. And it doesn’t have to be the exact same you know y/n we can mix and match ideas if you want” he gave you a reassuring smile and he finally saw you relax and you let out a relieved chuckle.
You two finish cleaning up the mess they left from his locker and even went with Eddie to the office after school to get him a new locker and combination. One that hopefully wouldn’t get broken into this time. You headed your separate ways for the afternoon, each going to get ready for the evening you’d had planned.
You got home and did some homework and made sure to tidy up the house a bit. You debated on what food you should cook but since you’re a terrible cook you decided to order pizza cause it would be a shame to give Eddie food poisoning after getting his locker destroyed by your ex and his asshole friends. The pizza arrives just a few minutes before Eddie does. You hear a knock at the door and immediately go answer it, finding Eddie there with his own pizza box in one hand and D&D binder in the other. You haven’t let him in or greeted him yet but you’re already almost in tears from laughing.
“Y/n? What’s wrong” Eddie says in a very confused tone.
Through laughter you ask“Eddie why did you bring pizza”
“Oh well I thought since you’ve got the weed and the house that I might as well grab the food and be a nice guest” upon saying this you grab his wrist and drag him inside and bring him in front of the coffee table that has 2 unopened boxes of pizza on it. Eddie begins laughing as well.
“Well there’s no way either of us is going hungry tonight” Eddie says as he sets the third box down.
Eddie sits on the couch and opens up the two boxes of pizza you got. One was half of a sausage and meat fest while the other half was just plain pepperoni. He opened the second box to see that it was half Buffalo chicken and the other half was plain cheese.
“Are you a mind reader or something?” Eddie says, still looking at both pizzas.
“What are you talking about?”
Instead of responding Eddie just spins around the box of pizza he brought to reveal a half sausage meat fest and a half pepperoni. A little stunned you go to speak in laughter again.
“The sausage meat fest and Buffalo chicken are my favorites I got you the pepperoni and cheese just to be safe cause I didn’t know what pizza you liked”
“I did the exact same thing” he says and you both just start howling with laughter again as you sit on the couch next to him.
Eddie quickly realized how much you’d actually done to prepare. The couch was covered in pillows and blankets so it was comfortable. There were plenty of VHS tapes sitting out in case you wanted to watch a movie. And just the pizza situation alone told him that you both had been thinking about this a little too much and that made him smile.
“Oh shoot, how could I forget the most important part” you quickly got up and ran downstairs to a basement before Eddie got the chance to ask what was wrong. You came running back up with a few bags in hand and Eddie immediately realized what you’d forgotten. It was the weed.
“Y/n should we really be smoking that here in your living room. I mean I know that’s why I came over but really I don’t wanna get you in trouble or anything. We can just hangout if you want” as much as you think that’s sweet of him you think it’s funny that he’s worried about you getting in trouble as if you don’t already have a past reputation as town party girl and druggie.
“Trust me Eddie I’m not getting in trouble for this” you say as you sit back on the couch and start rolling a joint.
“What about your parents? What if they come home and see you getting high on the couch with the town freak?”
“I mean nothing bad happened when we sat in that very driveway the other night and got high in your van?”
“Yeah but that was different I’m actually in your house now”
“Trust me Eddie nobodies coming home anyways. My mom’s not around anymore and my dad’s so busy all the time and never here. I promise no parents are coming to kick your ass tonight Eddie you can relax”
And so he did. He sat there and watched you roll the joint and eventually you two started smoking away passing the joint back and fourth and just making stupid little small talk until you two started to feel the effects of your high.
“Okay Munson I think now is as good a time as any to start replanning that campaign”
“Oh yeah a great time to plan a campaign when my thoughts are up in space”
You two get to working on the campaign and planning it out and you guys get so into it you haven’t even realized that it’s past midnight and you’ve already gone through 2 1/2 out of 3 of the pizza boxes.
“So once they get this artifact what happens then?”you say trying to write as fast as you guys are talking.
“Well then they have to return it to the nobleman and the lord before the queens forces get the artifact”
“Ooooooo I really like that. What if on their way back they encounter a maze they have to fight through some puzzles before they can reach the nobleman or the lord” as you say this you look at Eddie and look around the room and finally see the time realizing just how late it is. And Eddie sees you do this and does the same.
“Oh shit sorry y/l/n I didn’t even think about the time I should probably get out of your hair” he doesn’t even get the chance to stand up because you’re already talking.
“Well why don’t you stay the night? I mean we’ve already made it this far and we’re both high as shit and I wouldn’t want you to have to drive home this late when you’re high. We can stop working on the campaign if you want and just watch a movie” you watch Eddie lean back into the couch and figure he’s taken you up on your offer.
You handed him the stack of movie options just deciding to let him pick one. You had all the scary movies cause horror movies were your favorite. You probably sounded crazy but they always made you laugh. You watched as he looked through the movies you had. Nightmare On Elm Street, The Thing, The Shining, Alien and Aliens, Day Of The Dead, Night Of The Living Dead, Gremlins and Friday the 13th. Finally he landed on Night of the Living Dead.
You both sat there and watched it and ended up laughing together. It’s like it wasn’t even a question. Usually when you watched horror movies and they made you laugh the people you were with looked at you like you were crazy. But with him he seemed to just laugh with you. You’d both been so high and tired after working on the campaign that you managed to fall asleep together on the couch.
You woke up sometime Tuesday to find your feet propped up next to Eddie’s on the coffee table while you were nestled against him in his arms on the couch. You could feel him breathing heavily beneath you and realized he was still asleep. And you tried as calmly as you could to stand up without disturbing him in any way but the second he started to feel you move away from him he began to open his eyes and he realized what had happened. And then his eyes shot open really wide
“Shit shit shit y/n what time is it?”
“I have no idea here, let me check. You leaned over and looked at the clock across the room that read 11:15 am” upon seeing it you realize that it’s Tuesday and you’ve both slept in and missed school.
“Well Eddie I think it’s safe to say we definitely missed first through third period…probably a bit of fourth”
“Oh shit I’m so sorry y/n I should have just went home I didn’t mean to make you miss class” upon hearing him say this you realize that’s why he was panicked and you start laughing.
“It’s fine Eddie missing a few classes isn’t going to kill me” you say as you sit back down on the couch almost leaning back on Eddie the way you had when you were asleep but now you’re realizing that might be weird. So instead you opt to just lean straight back on the couch.
“Well if we leave In the next few minutes I’m sure we could make it before lunch at least?” Eddie says as he starts to pack up the D&D stuff into the binder.
“I mean if you want to Eddie that’s cool but I think I’m just gonna skip today since I’ve already missed this much”
“Are you sure cause I could totally get you there before lunch if I speed a little bit?” he says laughing. And looking at how quickly you’ve melted into the couch.
“Well then y/n is it cool with you if I stay and get high a bit more. I kinda wanted to watch nightmare on elm street too last night but we uh fell asleep before I got the chance” What Eddie really means is that half way through night of the living dead when the movie hit a slow point you passed out on him and you looked so cute that he didn’t have the heart to wake you or move you when the movie ended so he just stayed like that until he fell asleep too.
But Eddie doesn’t tell you that. He just sits back down on the couch as you start the movie and you two get high as can be while you watch movies together and laugh for the rest of the afternoon. Part of Eddie hoped that you would fall asleep on him again but you didn’t. He did however sneakily yawn and put his arm around you once he’d plucked up the courage after the third movie you guys had watched.
Throughout each movie Eddie found himself becoming more transfixed by you. Everytime something horrible would happen on screen that made you laugh he just wanted to repeat that scene forever and find a way to keep your laugh in a bottle to hear all the time. And when the evening rolled around and you came down from your highs and it was time for Eddie to go home you walked him to the door. Eddie had expected you to stop there at the door but you didn’t. You walked him all the way to his van. And you’re not sure why you did it. But as you said your goodbyes and he went to step into his van you gave him a light soft kiss on the cheek. Eddie smiled at you and got in his van and waved as he drove away.
It’s all Eddie thought about the entire way home and his cheek tingled as if he could still feel the kiss you left on his cheek, and he was pretty sure it’s all he was going to think about until he saw you again.
You walked back inside and immediately called Nancy to tell her every detail of what had taken place that day. At first Nancy was a bit concerned about you missing school but quickly got over it upon hearing the rest.
“So do you like him then?”
“I don’t know Nance, what if it’s just some silly little crush?”
“Even if it is some silly little crush Y/n why not give it a try”
“I don’t know Nance. I mean I really enjoy the time I’m spending with him but what if I’m not ready for something like that? And even if I am, what if he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Y/n after what you just told me I’m sure Eddie would be willing to give you a chance. Hell I’m sure most guys in Hawkins would be willing to give you a chance”
Hearing Nancy say that made you laugh. You guys talked about it for a bit longer before Nancy said she had to go work on some stuff for an article. This left you alone with your thoughts. All swirling with Eddie. Just dying to know how he felt about the time you guys had spent together. You laid in bed thinking about it for so long and you were sure you were going to be exhausted at school tomorrow.
That’s when the phone rang and you figured it was Nancy calling back after finishing up her article.
“Hey Nance” when you say that you hear a cough mixed with laughter on the other end.
“I’ve been called a lot of things in this town y/l/n but I don’t think I’ve ever been mistaken for Nancy before”
“Eddie?!? What are you doing up this late?”
“I could ask you the same question”
The line is silent for a moment but it doesn’t feel awkward at all.
“So why’d you call me Eddie?”
“Oh well I was looking over some of the stuff you wrote for the campaign and I was just thinking about this one aspect of the maze puzzle you wrote down about the 3 way stop”
Eddie was totally lying at this point. I mean he had looked at the campaign when he got home and he was genuinely asking you this question but he’s asking you about it now because he’s been looking for any excuse to call you since the moment he left your house. The moment he got home and all he could think about was that kiss on the cheek you gave him. He knew he had to talk to you at least. Hear your voice at the bare minimum.Cause let’s face it any question he had about the campaign, he could just ask you tomorrow at school with the papers in front of you guys.
You both start talking about the campaign over the phone and you both find it calming. Just listening to each other’s voices further and further into the night. It’s like the phone is pretty much sewn to your hand. Eventually you two stop talking about the campaign and it’s obvious how tired you two are because you’re just babbling about things that you both know you won’t care about or remember in the morning. But neither of you consider or even think of hanging up. Instead you both just fall asleep peacefully on the phone. Hearing the sound of each other’s breathing and listening to it like a lullaby.
Both Eddie and yourself are woken up abruptly by the sound of your alarm clock. Although you’re so groggy you haven’t quite realized you fell asleep on the phone until you hear Eddie’s morning voice talking to you.
“So I guess this means I’ll pick you up in 20?” Hearing his voice startles you but also makes you happy.And you can’t help but find the early morning rasp in his voice attractive. Upon actually registering his words you’re suddenly very confused.
“Wait what?” Is all you manage to croak out.
“Last night, we agreed I’d pick you up for school that way we can just head back to my place after school and we can get high and finish the hellfire campaign together?”
You’d been so tired on the phone you had completely forgotten he’d asked you over to his house for that but the prospect of it makes you happy.
“Oh yeah totally” as you say this Eddie is completely unconvinced and just chuckles deeply.
“You forgot I asked you didn’t you?”
“Okay I might have forgotten BUT that totally doesn’t mean I don’t want to I promise”
“You pinky promise?” Him saying that forces an amazingly beautiful laughter out of your morning voice that makes his heart tight in his chest.
“Yes Eddie I pinky promise”
The line is quiet for a second before Eddie comes back to reality.
“I guess I actually have to hang up now and get ready if I’m gonna come get you”
You guys hung up the phone and you quickly got ready. You don’t think you’ve ever been so excited to get ready for school in your entire life.
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Multiple story time:
Listening to your music made me super duper sad when I was sick cuz I couldn’t breathe and probably because I couldn’t sing along. I can mimic your voice probably the best out of any mimic singing I do. It’s just THAT WAY. I don’t know why, sometimes it’s kinda creepy. I’m not about to sing along in like…. Opera style. Unless you had some opera type music of course lol. Lyyyyyke, I wouldn’t sing like Frank Sinatra if I was singing along to a Britney Spears song ya kno. Hmm… that actually sounds like a super fuckn awesome combo though. 🧐 hm…
I was actually getting REALLY fuckin pissed after my natural, bored, monotone, robotic-sounding speaking voice came back. Yes I am aware that when I am bored, it is annoyingly obvious. Haha. BUT still, !GONE! was my loud and beloved shrill-squeak “Gibby voice”. The Gibby voice is just an adjustment of my ‘Courtney is really excited’ voice. Going further back, as I’ve said before (because I definitely repeat myself on here for the purpose of releasing repetitive, maddening energies)…the Gibby voice is originally a toned down derivative of *THE* Penny voice. However, not NEARLY as loud. Penny was VERY loud. Penny was definitely my loudest character voice EVER…and that’s pretty fuckin loud, man. I gta show you Penny. I can’t believe I haven’t taken a photo of her and shown you yet. Wow. My entire family, especially my aunt Nancy and my mom, STILL fkn talk about Penny and how gdamn loud she was. When I was a kid, doing my pretend Penny talking, they would say things like “Penny is quite loud for this time of night. I think Penny needs to go to bed.” Hahaha. I just drooled cranberry juice laughing. I got cranberry juice on my favorite white comforter!!! Nooo!!! Fuck, hold on a sec…
Okay I’m back. They also STILL use a bunch of funny quotes from things that I or Penny said in all seriousness, when I was just a kid. I’ll have to ask them which ones they remember and write them down. There are many..& they are more adult-sounding than something that came from the mouth of a five year old. I’ve always been crazy. Who cares.
They also still laugh about the time at Watercountry, when I started with some huge, fat-muscled, bald, biker dude w a Hell’s Angels tattoo. Started w him at the lazy river, over an inner tube that I was reaching for first. That dirty, dirty , kid piss-filled place. Ugh. Anyway, I mean, this guy SAW that I almost had it. Plus, I was super young and wanted to be with my cousin, not ALONE sitting in a huge fuckin tube that I could barely move in, in order to catch up w her. Like wtf dude. So I got pissed when he just grabbed it and didn’t give it to me. I even remember that this guy was fuckin by himself. Like ..DA FUK?! So I grabbed the tube out of his hands and gave him a “really dude?” kind of child mean mug. My mom said that he looked at her and my aunt like “Yo, your fucking kid has some nerve to do that to ME.” So they look at each other n then looked at him like “🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t know man, I didn’t do it…I didn’t birth her.” haha.
“I didn’t birth her, I just bought her.” Bahahaha. 😏 N I was candidly, off and relaxing in MYYY goddamn inner tube.
😎
Rewind for a second, I hate the spelling of the word squeak too.. remember my minor bitch fit over the word “tweak” not having two Es? Same animal here. Even Jillian Jigz HATED tweak not having two es and she’s a grammar tyrant. She even spelled it with two Es. Mostly because that word for us meant something on a whole other level, kind of making it a whole different word. I suck at spelling sometimes. Most words I have misspelled were either done on purpose… or I was braindead at the moment. My entire self likes to fly around in the atmosphere by myself sometimes. Oh yeah, or if I’m using speak type, it likes to use the wrong word entirely. The new download for my shit iPhone, my spell check and my speaky typey was absolutely at a disconnect with life…& my soul. It’s getting much better now. Definitely learning my way of talking muuuuuch better. If my speak type was a real human, it would have already hung itself from a rafter.
Speaking of my flying around in the atmosphere and day dreaming. Once at the end of the year, one of my teachers told us all to stand at the blackboard (yes it was actually still a blackboard) …actually it was a super vintage green board. Yup, chalk. I don’t know why it was green but that specific section of the school was complete with fantastically-rusted 60s hardware and appliances. So, standing in front of our decked out 60’s style accommodated classroom, this teacher went and sat at every person’s desk, mocking aka doing his best impression of each person in the class. IAs soon as I knew what his plan was I was thinking… oh no….😬. But when he got to me, he just sat there and stared out the window. I would always just sit there and stare out the window at the two huge maple trees that blew so pretty pretty in the wind. The school was on top of a huge hill, so they were always dancing. Wachusett was HUGE and now, it’s even bigger. Sometimes you couldn’t even get to class in time because five minutes wasn’t long enough to beat the traffic to your next class. This fucking math teacher that used to drool and spit and have fun with the sides of her mouth had menopause and would open the windows in winter. She was such a bitch about it and said if we didn’t bring a jacket then tough cookies we wouldn’t be able to go get it. Nobody was able to go get their jacket in between classes, it was impossible. She probably knew this and did it on purpose and said that on purpose because she was a fucking client I’ve been looking for her online for years to send her awful messages and I can’t find her ass. I’m not even joking. I already sent one of my math teachers messages about how much he’s basically a piece of shit. Everyone hated her. She drooled on one of my homework pieces one time and I circled it and I wrote Mrs. Tolis drooled on this” and purposely passed it in. This is the same teacher that grabbed Julian‘s homework off of my desk that I was making for her and crumbled it up and threw it in the trash because on the back of it I was drawing a picture of her being rabbit and drooling like a dog. I don’t know if she saw it or not but I hope she did. Before she could walk away I grabbed it back and then the whole classroom gasped and then she grabbed it back from me. It’s like bitch that’s someone’s homework.. TF?! She almost got fired one year cuz, funny enough Meredith, the nose flarer’s sister told us she taught the wrong material for a complete semester. Good times. They ripped outcthe best parts of the school and made it ugly and boring. There was this huge glass staircase at the front of the school. A shit load of people fell down that thing many times but who cares it was so cool. Now it’s gone the year after we graduated in 2003 they ripped out everything and redid the parts they ripped out. Now it looks stupid. my other favorite part of the school was the incredibly creepy gymnasium in the back. There were two gymnasiums in the front and then one down a really narrow creepy hallway which had other hallways that led to it that were never lit. The downstairs bathroom was creepy too.. because you had to use another long narrow creepy hallway that was never lit to get to it. Then there was a few really weird classrooms down in the basement where that lone bathroom was, that had tables and desks and chairs all toppled all over each other in it and they didn’t use either of them. They could’ve totally used that for so much stuff but for some odd reason they didn’t use it. I bet somebody got killed in there or something and they didn’t want to use it. So they kept throwing old broken shit on top of the last old broken shit that they threw in there. It looks like a wood bonfire except it was old metal chairs and desks. Shit’s probably haunted or something. Lol. It looked like a perfect place for a haunted, abandoned school horror movie or somethin. It was awesome. They bulldozed ALL of that away. That’s some despicable bs I tell you. We were the last year students to use it which was weird.
Even in middle school we had this really old hallway for the seventh and eighth grade wing. We were the last grade to use that old shit too, so they let us draw pictures and write all over it. Of course a ton of people just wrote a bunch of shit about other people and people got in trouble. My friend Joe had the most pink slips out of anybody in our grade & probably out of any grade that has ever been there. It was over 40 I think it was like 45 or something actually I’m gonna ask him because it might’ve even been in the 50s. At one point in time he didn’t give a shit and he purposely kept trying to get pink slips to see how many he could get by the end of 8th grade, the last year we were there. Eighth grade isn’t always the last year out of school. West Boylston school had the middle school wings connected to the high school wings..because it was so small. They never gave homework and it was the easiest shit ever it was like retard school. Anyway I love to change subjects it’s fine. Anyway, A lot of his pink slips were for really stupid shit. Like, talking. “Oh no! He spoke again! Send him down to the principal!”
There was this one time in 8th grade Spanish class when I said something funny outloud, I don’t remember what I said but he could not stop laughing and had to go in the hallway. Every time he came back in after he was done laughing, I would look at him and he would just start laughing n had to go back in the hallway. Fuckin Joe, good times man, gooooood, good fuckin times.
Speaking of that specific Spanish class…the teacher, Mrs. Scarcella, would always say “AAAAHORA!” aka “Noooow…” At LEAST ten times before moving on to the next subject during EVERY freaking class. She’d flare out her nostrils and would say it the exact same way every damn time, unnecessarily. So the one time when she actually had us do something remotely interesting for a project grade, Jigz & I got a bunch of the girls we could tolerate, together to do this Spanish skit. We had to make a fake weather report or some shit and do the whole thing in Spanish (obviously) and every person had to do something different, but it all had to be weather reports. Fuckin stupid idea, there’s only one weather report during the news. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We all thought it was stupid so we basically just used the skit for the purpose of mocking our obnoxious and bitchy teacher. So before everyone’s skit we all said “AAAAHORA!” . I already felt disgusting about how I looked at the time so I refused to flare my nostrils like the teacher. I’m laughing this is funny, but this girl Meredith flared her nostrils like I’ve never seen before in my life and I’m still fuckn happy about it.
Fuck I just erased a whole paragraph. Anyway…For my skit I chose to mock that new twister movie at the time. So I was on crutches and pretended I got hit by the cow that was flying through the air.. I was sitting in Jill’s basement on a very old push-up type of work out table. I don’t know what it’s fucking called but you know those tables that people lay down on and push the weights up and then it comes down on those little forks or whatever. I was sitting on one of those things with crutches and laughing my ass off because Jill was being insane behind the camera. It was all so frickin insane that I literally fucking pissed my pants cuz I was laughing that hard. I legit pissed myself at the end of my skit so I was hobbling out of the scene when I was done…to get away, because I basically pissed myself on camera. Oh my god.  my cousin used to make me laugh so hard when I was a kid I always had to bring changes of underwear when I went over her house because it was just insane. But as I got older that happened much less, mostly because life sucked way more as it usually does when we get older. But yeah that time I absolutely pissed myself laughing and I couldn’t believe it which made me laugh even harder. So, we kept it…we kept it in the skit… because I didn’t wanna do it again. So there is a VHS tape somewhere where I am legit pissing my pants and fake hobbling away on crutches, while barely being able to breathe. Good times.
No, not done. Jillian chose rain. So I had a hose and I was trying to spray it up, putting my thumb over the hole to make it spray outwards, but it ended up spraying her directly in the face. She used liquid eyeliner at the time, so she had blackness just dripping everywhere down her face. The whole scene was of her outside in her driveway screaming “Está lloviendo!” over and over again. She couldn’t breathe either, due to me spraying her directly in the face. It was far away enough where it didn’t hurt her, but it was completely right in her face. We also kept that take, we didn’t redo that either.
Now, aka AAHORA! The most glorious part of the entire skit…the metronome. Jill had this antique metronome on top of her antique piano, that we set to a very slow tempo to put in a scene between every person’s skit. But it wasn’t just the metronome-meeheeeeee-we all were standing in a line, in the back of her living room table, while the metronome was in the forefront, slowly ticking away, as our heads and our pigtails bounced slowly from side to side matching the metronome lever. We did that EVERY time, in between every person’s skit. I believe there were seven of us. Jillian, myself, Melissa(cunt) Michelle (got pregnant at 15, has five kids and still is w the same guy. Fuckin BRAvO to her man. She gets some serious Courtney brownie points), Christina (cried at the roller rink because she couldn’t skate and we didn’t skate with her. But to be fair it was physically impossible for us to skate that slow)……and last but surely not least, wonderful Meredith, the professional nose flarer. So when we passed in the VHS tape, with the written version of it, we got it back with the grade and a comment which said “Very awkward.” We also watched ALL skits during class one day. We had a bunch of nutjobs in that class. I remember some kid Cody I was crushing on, in his skit he was pretending to be Yoda and had a big sweatshirt over his knees and was like walking around on his knees at Andrew (hotdogcunt’s) house. Nope, not done….The most awkward skit of all, wasn’t meant to be awkward. It was some really bizarre skit made by this other Andrew kid, just wrestling other boys in our grade and had the most obvious boner happening throughout the entire skit. The sweatpants he was always free-balled in made it ten times more obvious. I remember everyone was laughing at all the ridiculous skits until we got to his. Then, fuckin dead silence and looks around the room like…what-the-fuck Andrew#2?! Everybody was looking at everybody else however none of us could look him in the fucking face.  some of us couldn’t look at him ever again, like myself for one. It’s like… “hmm, hey Andrew #2, Did you forget to uhmm.. proof-watch this shit before passing it in?” He was always a weird kid though. Not the fun or funny type of weird either. Just the corny yet pretentious loser type of weird. I will throw him a bone though (no pun intended) and will say, maybe he had a crush on the teacher and knew about it the whole time. Passing it in not knowing the whole class would ALSO be watching it. Really though, I have no idea, maybe he thought the teacher would be impressed with his boner and his wrestling skills. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years
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Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Coming home can cause issues.
Series Masterlist
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                          SIX MONTHS LATER
You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.
“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”
“No.”
“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”
“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”
“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”
“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”
“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”
“You’ll never find him.”
“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.
From: Julian
Go for it.
“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“
“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”
With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.
“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.
“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.
“Yep.”
“Are you hungry?”
You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”
“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”
You eyed him up and down.
“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.
“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”
“I’m not going on the field with you.”
“The General sent me here to help you.”
You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”
“Y/N.”
“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”
“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”
“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”
“I told you—“
“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”
“The General.”
You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.
“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“
“Why did he not text me?”
“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”
Your jaw clenched.
Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.
You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.
And that-
That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.
But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.
“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”
You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”
“No I mean… About Barnes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”
“I don’t want to go after him again.”
“You don’t want revenge?”
That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”
That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.
“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”
“That there was a job here.”
“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”
Julian licked his lips.
“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.
“What?”
“Check your texts.”
You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.
From: General
Time to come home.
“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”
                                                   ***
Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.
Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.
Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.
So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—
Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.
“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”
As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.
Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.
You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.
And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.
You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.
“Hello Cap.”
Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.
“You’re back?”
You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.
“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”
“So much for the small town girl.”
“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.
“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.
“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”
“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”
“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”
“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”
Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.
“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”
“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”
“He told you about that?”
He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”
You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”
He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.
“You know he was going to propose, right?”
That-
That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.
“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”
Don’t cry.
Do not fucking cry.
Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.
You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.
“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”
“Y/N, he loved you.”
“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”
He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.
“How much does he hate me?”
“Why do you think he hates you?”
“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”
“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”
“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”
“But you want him to forgive you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.
“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”
You heaved a sigh.
“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”
“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.
“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”
                                                  ***
“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.
“I knew you’d miss me.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”
“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.
“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”
“You guys have a new mission?”
“Not a long one probably.”
“Why the fuck am I—“
“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”
“That or….”
“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”
“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.
It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.
You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.
Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.
“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”
Chapter 24
657 notes · View notes
kpostedsum · 3 years
Text
high | d.m
summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you
warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex
song: habits - tove lo
a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited
masterlist | taglist
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I eat my dinner in my bathtub
Then I go to sexclubs
Watching freaky people gettin' it on
It doesn't make me nervous
If anything I'm restless
Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all
you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.
draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.
“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.
I get home, I got the munchies
Binge on all my Twinkies
Throw up in the tub
Then I go to sleep
And I drank up all my money
Days get kinda lonely
entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.
“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.
“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.
“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.
they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.
“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.
“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.
“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.
“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.
as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.
“pans, you feel so good”
you recognize that voice anywhere.
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.
“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.
it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.
with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.
there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.
“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.
“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.
“darling please, i can explain—”
“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.
you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.
you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.
maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.
getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.
dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.
Pick up daddies at the playground
How I spend my daytime
Loosen up the frown,
Make them feel alive
I'll make it fast and greasy
I'm on my way to easy
“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.
“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.
“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.
“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.
“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.
once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.
“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.
“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.
“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”
“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”
the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.
you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.
“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.
“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.
“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.
Staying in my play pretend
Where the fun, it got no end
Can't go home alone again
Need someone to numb the pain
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.
you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.
you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.
“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.
“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
-
taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter
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Text
comparisons ~ machine gun kelly
word count: 2195
request?: yes!
“Can I get a Colson Baker one where you’re dating after him and Megan where you get a bunch of hate and they both defend you against the hate please”
description: when her boyfriend’s ex is one of the most beautiful actresses of this generation, she finds herself being constantly compared to her and receiving hateful messages
pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing, hate messages, insecurities
masterlist (one, two)
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There was some sort of assumption that when you start dating someone, you immediately hate their ex. That could not be further from the truth for me and Colson. In fact, Colson’s ex-girlfriend introduced us shortly after their break up, and had constantly pushed for the two of us to get together.
Megan was basically the backbone in our friendship. She pushed me to pursue my dreams in acting (as well as helped you with that since she was so much more famous than you were when you started), then she pushed me to start auditioning for bigger roles. The moment she introduced me to Colson, I knew exactly what was coming next.
“That’s weird, Meg,” I had told her. “Isn’t there, like, a girl code about dating your best friend’s ex?”
“I’m literally shoving you onto him,” she had responded. “I think you’re fine with the girl code.”
A few months after meeting, I finally caved and asked Colson out on a date. Six months later, I was still thanking Megan for giving me that push.
Shortly after making our relationship public, however, the happiness slowly came to a stop. For me, anyways. Colson, bless his heart, was blissfully ignorant to the comments his fanbase started to send me.
“yikes, he really downgraded huh?”
“how do you go from megan fox to...that?”
“guess mgk couldn’t keep up his streak of hot girlfriends”
Hate comes with fame, I knew that. I had my fair share of hate comments ever since the start. It was easy to ignore them when they were just a handful of hate comments here and there, but this was different. This was a bombardment of hate that was so heavy I could barley go online.
Colson was oblivious for a while, until he found out I had deleted all my social media accounts.
“Did you delete your Instagram babe?” he asked the minute he got home the day I had done it.
“Yeah,” I responded, nonchalantly. “I deleted all my social media.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I just thought it’d be better for me mentally. They say being so attached to social media is bad for you or whatever.”
“But you weren’t even addicted to social media. You just liked sharing your memories - our memories.”
I shrugged again and turned back to my cooking. I wasn’t about to tell him his fans drove me off the internet. He loved his fans, I couldn’t fuck that up for him, even if what they were saying hurt me so much.
My back was to him as I cooked, so he couldn’t see my reaction when he asked, “Is it because people were comparing you to Megan?”
I froze completely. I could feel his eyes staring into the back of my head, but I just couldn’t convince myself to turn around to face him. I knew that if I did, I’d crack. I had gone too long pretending everything was okay, keeping this secret from Colson, to finally let it slip now. I just had to throw him off of his thought process.
“Where did you get that idea?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light.
He was next to me suddenly, holding his phone up so I could see it. On the screen was a picture of me at a red carpet just below a headline that read “(Y/F/N) deletes social media accounts amid hateful comments from boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly’s fans”.
I sighed in frustration. Of course the tabloid vultures had already written articles about it. I had only done it a few hours earlier, but they always had to be the first ones to write another story about me.
“I didn’t even know I was getting hate,” I said, trying to keep up the lie even though it was pretty obvious I had been found out. “I just decided to delete my accounts, it must be a coincidence.”
“Really? Because this article says you were receiving so much hate that you couldn’t even go into the comments on your pictures or replies on your tweets without seeing a mass amount of hate from my fans.”
I turned off the stove and turned around suddenly, abandoning my cooking completely as I quickly walked out of the kitchen and towards mine and Colson’s room. I felt a lump forming in my throat, and the last thing I wanted was for Colson to see me cry.
I wasn’t shocked to hear his footsteps coming after me. I forgot how much longer his legs were than mine, so it didn’t take long for him to catch up with me and stop me before I could get too far away. He took hold of my arm and turned me around to look at him. The moment my eyes landed on his face, it felt like someone had finally broke the dam holding back my tears.
Colson pulled me in for a hug and held me tightly as I sobbed into his chest. Every ounce of overwhelming feelings I had been bottling up for months was finally starting to come out, and I realized it was long overdue when I eventually began to grow tired from my crying.
I felt Colson pick me up and bring me to his bed. My eyes were starting to grow heavy despite how much I was fighting against them to stay awake. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.
I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep, but it was obvious I had needed that rest, because when I woke up again I felt more well rested than I had in a long time.
I opened my eyes to find myself facing the window, which helped me to pinpoint that it was now nighttime as the sky was pitch black. I rolled over, expecting to find Colson asleep next to me only to find that I was alone in his bed. I was confused at first, forgetting the events that happened mere hours earlier.
I could hear a distant voice talking and was able to identify it as Colson’s. I got up from his bed and made my way towards the stairs, hearing it get louder as I stood at the top.
“I wish she would’ve told me,” he was saying. “I don’t know why she would’ve kept this a secret from me.”
“She didn’t want you upset with your fans,” came another voice. This one was distorted like it was coming from a phone. When she spoke again, I realized it was Megan’s voice. “And she’s stubborn. She was probably determined to deal with this by herself.”
“I just hate that she felt that way,” Colson sighed. “I don’t want her believing anything any of those people said to her, but I saw screenshots and fuck...they really did just bombard her with hate.”
“I know, but none of us could’ve predicted this. Your fans were so cool with us dating, I thought they’d love (Y/N) since we’re so similar.”
I sat down on the top of the stairs and peeked down enough that I could see Colson without him seeing me. He was laid out on the couch in just his sweat pants. In his hand he was holding his phone up, the other was slung over the back of his couch. I could see the guilt on his face, which broke my heart to see. I didn’t want Colson feeling guilty for something that was out of his control.
“You think what I posted will do anything?” he asked Megan.
“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. When people want to hate, they just want to hate.”
Hearing that Colson had posted something made me curious. I felt around my pants for my phone, but realized I had probably left it in the room or downstairs somewhere. I was in too deep now to give myself away, but I really wanted to know what he had posted about the situation.
“Thanks for talking to me about this, Megan,” he said.
“Of course, Colson. Anytime.”
They said their goodbyes and hung up. Colson tossed his phone onto the coffee table and put his arm under his head. “Are you gonna come down babe?”
I wanted to ask how he knew I was there, but instead I stood from my spot and made my way down the stairs. When I entered the living room, Colson just looked up at me for a moment, almost expectantly. I smiled down at him and laid on top of him with my head on his chest. The arm that was over the back of the couch wrapped around me and he gently kissed the top of my head.
“How much did you hear?” he asked.
“Just the last bit,” I admitted. “Something about a post you made.”
Colson hummed, his chest vibrating underneath my ear as he did. “I wanted to address the issue, and I knew you wouldn’t let me do it if you were awake.”
“I still don’t like that you did it now,” I said, half joking. “Can I see the post?”
He moved his head to look down at me. “How do I know you’re not going to delete the post?”
“You don’t,” I responded. “You’ll just have to trust me.”
He smiled and reached over to grab his phone from the coffee table. He opened it and pulled up a post he had made on Instagram: it was your usual white background with text post you saw celebrities make from time to time.
It read:
“I love my fans so much. You guys are my EST family, and I’m so proud of this family that we have built over the last few years. However, it came to my attention today that some of you have been less than nice to my girlfriend to a point where she felt the need to delete her social media accounts. I will admit, I was oblivious to this at first as I am not one to go onto other people’s social media to read comments and replies, and (Y/N) kept this to herself instead of telling me about it. But now that I do know, I have to say I am beyond pissed. (Y/N) is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside and out. She is not Megan, and honestly - with all respect to Megan - I’m glad that she’s not. I love Megan as a friend, but truly that’s all she is to me. (Y/N) is my soulmate, the love of my life. These comparisons and jabs at her because she isn’t my ex are absolutely disgusting, especially coming from people who claim they love me as much as you guys do. Please learn how to treat the people in my life with love and respect, or else take my face out of your profile pictures and my name out of your usernames/bios as you are not a true fan of mine. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you to anyone that made my girlfriend feel like shit.”
I scrolled down to see the comments and saw that the top one was from Megan, and was already liked by Colson.
“(Y/N) is not my competition, nor is she my enemy. She is my friend and she has been since before Colson and I were ever together. The fact that people feel the need to pit two women against one another just because they both dated the same person is absolutely appalling to me. I’d like to emphasis Colson��s statement - fuck you to whoever hurt my friend.”
I handed Colson his phone back, not wanting to read any more. I could feel a lump in my throat again, but this one was from happiness. I felt so lucky to have two amazing people in my corner during a time that was otherwise very trying for me.
“I’m sorry I never told you,” I said as I rested against his chest again.
“You shouldn’t be sorry, (Y/N). I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“You don’t have any reason to be sorry either. You can’t control your fans.”
“Then neither of us will be sorry.”
I chuckled at this. For a moment we were both silent, the only sound being Colson’s heart beating under my ear. It was a soothing sound, and combined with his fingers tracing over my back, I was almost lulled back to sleep.
“I love you,” he mumbled against my hair.
I lifted my head to look at him. “What?”
“I said I love you.”
I was speechless. It was the first time he had seriously said those words and he had managed to shock me into silence with them.
He looked at me, his face slowly becoming concerned with my silence.
“I love you, too,” I finally managed.
A smile broke out across Colson’s face as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him. For the rest of the night, he would whisper those three words to me randomly, and I would whisper back my response every time.
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saintshigaraki · 3 years
Text
the sun has not yet fallen
pairing: bakugou katsuki x gn!reader
word count: 2.2k 
excerpt: You look back towards the setting sun just once. You don’t really know why. Perhaps to find some bravery in the beauty of it, to steal yourself a few extra seconds of this limbo you’ve found yourself in. Where everything is hazy and beautiful and hurts so bad you can hardly breathe.
a/n: me: i hate angst
       also me: writes this fic
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, sometimes love requires work 
in case you want to read it on ao3!
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Katsuki is in a bad mood. He was uncharacteristically quiet when he walked through the door which is more often than not a sign he was trying his damndest to hold back saying something just a bit too cruel. And you appreciate the effort, truly you do. 
On any other day, you would’ve let him be to work through his shit alone. He usually does that by cooking up something far too elaborate for a weekday night, and then after decompressing for a bit, he tends to slink back into whichever room you’re in and lay his head on your lap so you can work your fingers through his hair. 
You’ve found over the last two years that that is what tends to work best. Giving him space and letting him come to you.  
But today you’re feeling just as raw as he does. You can’t remember the last time you spent quality time together. You can’t remember the last time he didn’t go to bed so exhausted he was out before his head hit the pillow. You can’t remember the last time you didn’t feel this heavy cloud hanging over your head. You can’t remember a moment where there wasn't a timer counting down and down and down while you do nothing but wait for it to hit zero. You’re not quite sure what will happen when your time is up.
It’s selfish, probably, to want to be with him right now when you know he’s so weary, but you won’t even bother him, is what you tell yourself. You just want to be around him for an hour (or two) you want to stand so close to him you can smell the ever clinging scent of caramel and help him with dinner and think of brighter days. Better days. 
(You want things to go back to the way they were before. You want to cling to him, just for a short while, stuff your face into the crook of his neck while he tells you everything’s okay. That you guys are okay.
But that’s for another day. It has to be.
How many times have you told yourself that?)
You follow him as he stomps towards the kitchen. 
He aggressively grabs the ingredients for whatever he’s making and slams them on the counter, grumbling under his breath the whole time. You stand in the doorway worrying your hands, feeling awkward, and hating that you feel awkward in your own kitchen with your own boyfriend. 
It makes that awful nagging voice in your head grow just a bit louder. 
You approach him slowly while he sets up a pot filled with water and turns on the stove. He’s still grumbling to himself by the time you place your hand softly on his forearm. 
He jerks away immediately and narrows his eyes. You viciously stamp down exactly how awful that makes you feel. How small and unloved. 
“What do you want?” he says bluntly (and a little cruelly but a part of you says just ignore it, maybe if you close your eyes and cover your ears you can pretend that everything is fine, that you guys are fine) . 
That was part of his charm when you two first started dating. You loved that he was blunt, that he got to the point, there was really no guessing what Katsuki was thinking because he’d simply tell you and if it were any other day perhaps his words wouldn’t have bothered you as much as they did now. 
And it’s partly your fault, or maybe even mostly. Because you let it get this bad. You could have told him something was bothering you, that lately, you’ve been feeling a little insecure in this relationship. Katsuki was blunt but very rarely if ever cruel with you or your feelings. He would’ve understood, probably. 
But anytime you thought about broaching the subject with him, he always looked so, so tired. Bone tired. And you thought maybe it was selfish, to want him to comfort you over something this dumb. Over something as frivolous as this. He just needs time. 
(How much time, you wonder. How much more can you take? you ask yourself.)
“Are you fucking braindead or something,” he snaps, dragging you out of your spiraling. 
“I was just wondering if I could help. It’d be nice to cook dinner together.” We use to do it all the time, you almost say. Now you can’t even remember the last time you did. 
“You’re a shit cook,” he says. 
It’s true, and on another day, a brighter day maybe, you would’ve laughed. Or at least smiled. Because it was true. You are an awful cook, a shit one, as he so eloquently put it, especially compared to him. But that never mattered to Katsuki before. 
He always let you cook with him, always wanted you to cook with him, even if the majority of the time you ended up sitting on the counter swinging your legs and watching him do all the work. 
To be fair, afterward, you always cleaned the dishes. It was a lovely, simplistic give and take, one you wish you had again so, so dearly. 
“Yeah, I am,” you agree. You try to smile, but it feels forced. You’re tired, you realize, bone tired. 
You don’t say anything else and he turns away. You know that’s technically a dismissal but you elect to ignore and start unwrapping the vegetables. 
Just as you reach for a knife he grabs your wrist. 
“What the fuck is up with you right now?” he grounds out. 
“I just want to spend some time with you.” 
Your voice sounds frail, even to your own ears. 
And before he even opens his mouth you know what he’s about to say is going to bring all this to a head. And from the look on his face and the awful, gnawing in your gut, you know you’re not going to like it. You know that more likely than not, it’s going to break your heart. 
(A part of you can’t help but wonder if maybe your heart has already been broken. That it’s made up of haphazardly glued together pieces. Perhaps that’s why you feel so fragile. Perhaps the damage is done and you’ve just been waiting for Katsu to bring down the axe. To scatter the pieces. To finish the fucking job.)
“God,” he spits out. And it’s like a dam has been broken and every hateful thing he’s ever thought about you can’t help but come pouring out.  
“You’re so fucking needy, you can’t do a fucking thing by yourself. It’s like all you ever do is breathe down my fucking neck and tell me everything I’m not doing for you.” Distantly, you wonder if that’s true. It might be. Maybe it’s that ugly selfishness you’ve never really been able to hide. You thought you’d done a better job of tucking it away. You were wrong, it seems. 
“So I can’t spend every single fucking second of every single day with you, sue me. I’ve got my own shit to deal with, my own problems, or have you forgotten that I have a life outside of you?”
No, you think. I haven’t. Or maybe you have. You’re not really focusing so hard on his words. You tune them out as much as you can. You’re staring at his face, taking in all the details. The deep red of his eyes, the pale blond of his hair, the sharpness of his cheekbones, the slope of his neck, the little scars peppering his face. You used to sit on his lap and kiss each and every one, no matter how faint. 
You’re so weird, he’d say as you did it, but the tightness of his arms around you always spoke a different story. 
You’re going to miss that, you think. Holding him. Loving him. 
It takes you a while to realize he’s still yelling. It’s all hateful and cruel and so sharp. Like he’s taken a knife to your skin to flay you open, exposing every crack, every vein, every shattered piece of heart that makes you. You let it wash over you, like a particularly violent ocean wave.  
“Sometimes,” he says, his voice finally quieting to a bearable level, “I wonder why I’m still with you.” 
The breath you let out is shaky. No matter how ready you thought you were, there’s simply no amount of time that prepares you to hear those words from him. From the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. From the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. 
The silence between you two is deafening. And heavy. So heavy it feels as though your chest will cave in from the pressure. 
“Yeah,” you say at last, though you have to force the words around the burning iron poker in your throat. And then you laugh, you can’t help it. It’s all so fucked. You hate that it’s come to this bitter monstrous ugliness. 
When had this all started to fester, to rot? you wonder. Is this really all that’s left?
“I can’t help but wonder the same thing.” It comes out more bitter than you'd like. A small jab to try to even out the gaping wound he’s torn open in you. 
But it’s also true. 
You can’t see his reaction through the tears clouding your vision. You don’t really want to anyway. What’s done is done. What’s said is said. 
You grab your phone and keys and walk through the front door, closing it softly behind you. 
He doesn’t say a word.
You think if there was any part of your heart left unbroken, his silence has shattered it to oblivion. 
+
You walk for an hour or two. Until the sun has dipped almost completely below the horizon and it’s surrounded by hazy blood-red waves. 
It’s a good place to think. To set your jumbled thoughts in order. 
It takes a special kind of selflessness to love a hero, you realize. A type you don’t possess, not even nearly. You’ve always been just a little selfish when it came to love. But there’s no room for that when with people like Bakugou Katsuki. 
And that’s okay, you tell yourself. 
It’s a lie. It’s not okay. And the hollow aching in your chest that beats in time with your heart agrees. 
You look down at your phone. 
33 missed calls from Katsu 
You look back towards the setting sun just once. You don’t really know why. Perhaps to find some bravery in the beauty of it, to steal yourself a few extra seconds of this limbo you’ve found yourself in. Where everything is hazy and beautiful and hurts so bad you can hardly breathe. 
It’s not long before you’re biting the inside of your cheek, turning on your heels, and heading home. 
+
You don’t even have your keys fully out of your pocket before the door swings open, with Katuski on the other side looking a bit worse for wear, though you doubt you’re one to talk. 
His eyes are bloodshot and his nose is a bit pink. He’s been crying. You can’t remember the last time you saw him cry. 
(That’s a lie, you realize. You had gotten in the crosshairs of a particularly brutal villain versus hero showdown. The resulting injuries you suffered were severe. You’d apparently been a bit touch and go for a while. When you opened your eyes for the first time after everything, Katsu was right there, looking like hadn’t slept, showered, or eaten for days. Later you found out it’s because he hadn’t left your bedside since you returned from surgery. 
Katsu, you’d croaked out weakly, stretching out a shaking hand toward his face. 
He broke down into sobs so violent they wracked his whole body. It took him over an hour to calm down.)
You got about half a foot through the door before he threw himself at you. Wrapping his arms around you so tight it bordered on painful. He sinks down to the floor. You sink with him. 
He’s sobbing into your shoulder repeating a mantra of, I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean it. Please, please. I didn’t mean it. 
You think about that old saying. What a person says in anger is how they really feel. You don’t necessarily believe that. You yourself have said things out of anger that you in no way meant, that were purely thrown to hurt the person on the other end. 
You want to believe he didn’t mean it, more than anything you do. Because you love him. Because you really do think that Katsu is it for you. That he’s always been it for you. 
You pull away about as far as he’ll let you. 
“Do you love me, Katsuki?” 
The words hang in the air. You feel raw. Like you’re the one who has taken a knife to your own skin and flayed it all open for him. 
You don’t quite know vulnerability until you ask someone if they love you. It’s a different sort of weakness. 
“Yes,” he responds. His voice rough from his tears. “More than anything.”
You watch one last tear fall from his eye.
You hold his face in your hands and wipe it away. Softly. Gently. Lovingly. 
+
You guys are not okay and now that you’ve accepted that you think there’s a chance that one day, you will be. 
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korasonata · 3 years
Text
Joe and Cleo model streams extended cut Part 2! (Streams 3 and 4)
STREAM 3
Cleo (reading chat): “Be careful with that thing” Im very careful with knives. Except for that time when I wasn’t.
Cleo (in response to chat asking about her friend Corpse): Corpse is not my husband. Ok? And they wouldn’t be anyway. Because they.
Cleo: I’m very confused Joe. I don’t know how to feel.
Cleo: Ok. I can do that. We can do that chat! I believe in you and myself…I- I don’t. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t.
Joe: That’s why you got me here to believe in you!
Cleo: Awww, thanks Joe!
Joe: You’re welcome Cleo!
Cleo (reading chat): “Black beer or clear beer?” No beer! I don’t believe in beer, it’s fictional. That’s just how it goes.
Joe: Yeah. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.
Joe: One of my viewers asks “are you and Cleo real life childhood friends?” Yes, obviously as you can tell from our accents—
Both: We grew up—
Joe: On the same block—
Cleo: Yeah.
Joe: Uh, along the Thames there—
Cleo: Yes.
Joe: You know, we took different paths in life. Cleo obviously went to university and perused geology and teaching, whereas I ended up with an asbo and a bunch of weird telekinetic powers and things just kind of went wild from there.
Cleo: Yeah.
Joe: But now we’re back together again.
Cleo: Yeah! I mean— I mean after you saved the world a few times. It’s, ah…it’s necessary it— it felt right. To come back together.
Joe: Yep. It’s just— it’s just…it was time.
Cleo (reading chat): You thought Joe Hills was from Glasgow? Oh no no no no no no. No no, same— it’s a cockney accent, can’t you tell?
Joe: Yeah, that’s why I’m so good at rhyming.
Cleo: *snickering* I don’t think they believe us.
Joe: What is the British equivalent of a coffee shop?
Cleo: Umm…a coffee shop.
Joe: It looks like piece 3/4 will make sense at some point in the future.
Cleo: But today is not that day. And to be honest, tomorrow’s not looking great either.
Cleo (reading chat): *laughing* Joe thinks everyone is as well adjusted as he is!
Joe: Oh, I’m terribly adjusted! Do not adjust your Joes! It won’t help, we’ve tried!
Joe (reading chat): “You all heard Cleo say Joe would look good in shorts right?”
Cleo: *heavy sigh*
Joe: I mean, I’m gonna say, I’m not getting as much exercise as I used to, so it’s- don’t get your hopes up Cleo.
Cleo: I- I-…I mean, there’s only one person I wanna see in shorts and it’s not you, so we’re all good.
Joe (in British accent): Spot on.
Cleo: Better. You’re getting better at that you know. You’re not great, but you’re getting better.
Joe: Yeah. Well the thing is I need to be able to blend when I’m there. You know I don’t wanna call attention to myself in my accent.
Cleo: …Joe?
Joe: Yeah?
Cleo: Nothing you ever do is blendable.
Joe: …That explains why I’m so bad at painting. And making margaritas. Just kidding, I’m great at making margaritas. The secret is to get real Cointreau.
Cleo: I…Don’t— I’ve never really had a margarita.
Joe: WHAAAAAAAAAT??!!?!
STREAM 4
Joe: So, I’ve got to cut up the last couple pieces from my fourth page out of 17.
Cleo: Is this where I tell you I’ve got about 6 pages left on the dot?
Joe: Out of how many, though?
Cleo: Out of about…14?
Joe: Wow, so you’re like, halfway there.
Cleo: Well, literally the instructions say I’m halfway there. Although—
Joe: Oh really? They congratulate you on that?
Cleo: W—no, they—they—……thanks Joe…
Joe: I bet whoever makes those models, now that you and I are getting them back in vogue, it’s like “oh no! If only I hadn’t sold the last one to Cleo, I could sell 1000 of these today.”
Cleo: I mean, I don’t think anybody in the stream is going to go out and buy one when they’ve seen what it’s done to us. And our souls. Or lack thereof.
Joe (reading chat): “If Joe is Jar Jar and Cleo is Padme, who’s Bail Organa?” …I dunno, VintageBeef.
Cleo: *laughing* Just—Just VintageBeef.
Joe: Just VintageBeef.
Cleo: It just is! You and I both know that, so you guys need to know it.
Joe: Yeah, cause like I don’t think Bail Organa had any kids.
Cleo: Yeah he did, he had Leia.
Joe: Well, but he adopted Leia.
Cleo: Ok.
Joe: And VintageBeef seems like, of all the Hermits, the one to most likely actually have the capacity to take on that sort of responsibility? I don’t know…
Cleo: No no, I can— I’m just running through the Hermits in my head, and I’m just like yeah that—that reads. That reads pretty well.
Joe (Dude bro voice): Has your heart even been weighed by Anubis, bro?
Cleo (dude bro voice): *laughing* Do you even lift? (Regular voice)…or no. That’s the opposite of what you want to do with a heart…
Cleo: I threaten to murder people all the time. One might say it’s part of my brand.
Cleo (reading chat): “Death threats are Cleo’s love language” *laughing* You’re not wrong.
Cleo: I’ve made plenty of mistakes! Learn from me! Like plenty of mistakes, which is why I’m doing this in my 40s. Joe just made his mistakes faster, that’s why he’s doing it in his 30s.
SILENCE
Joe: …Most of the jokes I wanna make about that, I—just in case my kid is tuning into the stream I’m gonna not—
Cleo: *laughing*
Joe: Because I am legally required not to disparage my ex-wife in front of her.
Cleo (in response to someone saying Joe’s hands are sufficient): No, my hands are sufficient. Joe has dexterous, wonderful hands. Get it right chat.
Cleo (about her Garrus mug): Next stream I shall use this for my beverage which I shall pretend is coffee. Which is what I used to do to the children at school.
Joe: Wait, you would pretend you were drinking coffee? What were you actually drinking? Rum?
Joe: My best is still the same, but my worst is getting less bad.
Cleo: That’s depressing and accurate. All at the same time.
Joe (tiredly): Yay! I strive for accuracy in all of my depressing statements. Cause it makes it harder to rebut them.
Cleo (softly and with care): I know.
Cleo (mocking people who push boundaries): If you were a PIN, what would you be?
Joe: *laughing* Like a PIN number?!
Cleo: Yeah!
Both: *laughing*
Joe: If you could be any PIN code—
Cleo: If you had an—what—what was your favourite PIN code, for example?
Joe: What’s your favourite 4-digit number?
Cleo: *laughing* What’s the 4-digit number you remember most in the world?
Joe: What’s the easiest to remember 4-digit number?
Cleo: I’m not going to get sushi from the Asda!
Joe (voice steadily getting higher): Oh my gosh, I am so glad that my face camera is off when we do those collab streams with Xisuma. Because like *laughing through the pain* a lot of them are just me screaming internally, but I’m not pushing to talk. And the reason I’m not pushing to talk is I’m also kind of screaming externally? And it’s just like, it’s just— *very high pitched incomprehensible gibberish*
Cleo: You—you do wonder sometimes with, with—with him. *laughing* See, thing is sometimes I’m not sure if he’s being serious or not, so—
Joe: If he says that he buys sushi at the Asda, I’m like 99% confident that he’s being serious.
Cleo: *laughing* He’s adorable and needs to be protected from this world.
156 notes · View notes
twistedmusings · 3 years
Text
Reading Between The Lines
A/N: I feel bad whenever I say 'hey here is what I am working on' and then my muses tell me 'no...this is what you are working on'. It's like my brain can't concentrate on one thing entirely q wq. In my defense though, I'm exploring my twst faves...and Cater may be a runner up to Vil...
Warnings: Dry humping, dirty talking and a quick handjob just as unsatisfying and ungratifying as Cater feeling like maybe he shouldn't have let you go just yet.
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“Whoops.”
Cater’s phone case cracked as it hit the floor, eyes locking with yours as you pull away from the Heartslabyul second year. Why had he even dropped his phone in the first place? The case had cost a lot and he had queued up for hours to get it, there should have been no reason for him to drop it.
Maybe the shock from seeing you in Heartslabyul?
No, that was normal. You were friends with Ace and Deuce after all so your presence in Heartslabyul was normal.
Maybe from seeing you in a bedroom that wasn’t a first year room?
He was coming to check up on a second year who had mentioned something about needing help in Astrology so Riddle had instructed Cater to help the guy out. The ‘strict Queen’ was aiming for the highest grade among the dorms, after all. So he was just carrying out his duty as an upperclassman!
So seeing you here, in this second year’s room, shirt around your elbows as a pair of hands--
that weren’t his--gently wrapped themselves around your waist was probably what made him drop his case.
Good to know, if he had come to that conclusion at any other time that you weren’t here, he might have said something mean to his lower-class men.
You move to fix your shirt as the second year rushes to apologize, walking up to him and spouting words Cater wouldn’t bother to hear. His eyes kept staring as you fixed yourself up to look a tad more proper than how he had found you.
It wasn’t like the sight of you in that state was unfamiliar to him, he just hadn’t seen it in a long time.
“Please just keep it between us, Cater-san! I don’t know what I’d do if the dorm head found out about this.”
He snaps out of his trance, looking down at the second year before grinning as he let out a slow hum, pretending to mull the request over in his head.
“Should I? If I remember correctly...Rule 345--Only when the sky turns red as it is dawning can a romantic partner be brought--”
“I--I’ll tell the dorm leader that you helped me with class!”
Cater grins, “That’s one way to make it up to me~ I guess for now I should leave you with a warning, right?” he tilts his head to call out to you, “The same goes for you [Y/N]-san! I can’t have you getting someone other than Ace and Deuce in trouble!”
He can't help but feel a sense of pride when you chuckle at what he had said, turning around to give him a peace sign as you walk by the second year.
“I’ll try to do an effort to hide in the closet next time.”
The second year takes your hand and kisses it, apologizing for the trouble and closing his eyes when your hands cup his cheek and pull him in for a kiss, the action making Cater look down at his phone and open whatever app he saw first.
You wave goodbye as Cater closes the door quickly, not giving you a chance to look at your second year lover fully as the both of you walk down the corridors of Heartslabyul in silence.
“So.”
“Hm?”
Green eyes keep looking at his phone, scrolling through Magicam absentmindedly but sparring you one look as he sees you scratching at a hickey--he would have left a bigger one-- the second year had left behind.
“Was he any good?”
In his defense, what had started between you two was clearly labeled as a ‘no feelings allowed, we are just here to have fun’ relationship. You seemed to understand his nature better than most and were down for something that wasn’t super serious and borderline erotic in a sense.
Cater was sure that you two had done it in at least one surface in every common room in Heartslabyul. The thought kept him awake at night, actually.
“Was he any good…” you repeat the question, “As good as I’m going to get from a second year.”
“Oh the poor guy.” Cater can’t help the snort that escapes him as you two walk down a set of stairs leading to the dorm’s entrance, “It is surprising you went for him, didn’t you mention that you liked the older type?”
“Well after a certain ‘older type’ decided to end things, I thought I should try my hand at something different. Change my ways, you know?”
He didn’t know. Cater had no idea what you were talking about, in fact. Why would you have to change your ways for anyone? You were amazing, interesting, entertaining and attention-grabbing all wrapped up in an older sibling type package that he had admitted to being attracted to when he had brought up the ‘friends with benefits’ proposition. If you changed in anyway he would be disappointed--
Dammit he was doing it again.
“If you want to start a relationship with someone in Heartslabyul, I would recommend Trey. He’s handsome, hardworking and you wouldn’t go hungry. Perfect man material right there.”
Cater knew that the small jab was directed at him so he decided to switch subjects, preferring not to linger in the awkward feeling that came with the consequences of his actions.
He ended things because he had broken the rules you both had set in place. Feelings weren't allowed and yet he had let them burrow deep inside his heart and fester like some sort of unknown virus. Cater didn't care for them so he nipped the problem in the bud, broke things off in an amicable manner and moved on.
But, like with everything in his life, it had all been an act.
If it had been just the sex keeping him awake, he would have understood. He's a healthy young man and some of the activities you two engaged in would make any first year jealous. And for a while the memories of you warming his bed generally did start to make him yearn for your warmth.
It was the possibilities of what you could have had that were driving him insane.
Would you have said no to a date? The only thing you two did when you were alone were have sex, make fun of Magicam models, sleep and then have sex some more so surely you would have liked a change of scenery as well.
But he didn't know you as much as he wished he did. Nights in his bed had been spent tossing and turning as to what your answer would have been. Why did he even care? You both still hung out, you still had his number, it wasn't like either of you were dead to each other!
Cater just didn't know how to react to you seeing someone else, if that is what you were even doing in the first place.
"Trey-senpai? I guess...he is rather sweet, isn't he?"
"In more ways than one."
"...but I will have to pass." you rub the back of your neck, "You know I don't like sweets."
The clock strikes ten as Cater's eyes take all of you in, his mind blanking out for a response before he clicks his tongue and points behind him.
"Say, Prefect, I think you may have left something in my room. Mind if I give it to you now?"
-----
"Oh. Your case cracked."
"Yeah. Dropped my phone. Bummer, huh?"
"Here I thought you held onto that thing for dear life, can I see it?"
Cater laughs as he takes his phone out of his back pocket and hands it to you, turning back to dig in his drawer for the sole sock that you had left about a month ago.
Who was he bullshitting? He was panicking, plain and simple. Here he was, rummaging through his drawer like an idiot as he pretended to have a sock that he knew he didn't have all to keep you with him for a couple more minutes.
Stars, who was he? He didn't know himself anymore.
“And...dammit.” he laughs as he closes the bottom drawer of his heart closet, “Couldn’t find it. I’m sorry [Y/N]-chan, I shouldn’t have taken your time like that. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorm...or maybe you wanna talk on the phone while you walk there?”
He goes to grab his phone but stops as he turns to look at you, your fingers tracing the giant crack on the case before tapping it twice in quick succession.
“[Y/N]--”
“We both really messed up, huh?”
Cater blinks as your eyes stare at him as if, for a brief moment, you could look through him. Through the act, the apathy, the very thing that was keeping him at the seams but also making him feel like he would burst from the inside out.
“...what do you mean?”
You keep gazing at him for a couple of seconds before smiling as you hold up the phone.
“I shouldn’t have snuck into Heartslabyul to just get a need met...and you shouldn’t have walked into that poor student’s room without knocking.” you wave the phone around, “Now your precious item is broken.”
The conversation didn’t feel right. It felt as if you were saying something else and all Cater needed to do was read in between the lines.
But he refused to, he didn’t want to go below surface level. Everything would get so much more complicated if you both took that plunge.
Yet he was feeling daring, the smile on your face a clear challenge as he walked over to you and grabbed the edge of his phone.
“Maybe I wanted to break it.”
Silence reigns in the room as you two stare at each other, both of your hands holding onto the edge of his phone and daring the other to let go. He smiles and tugs on his edge, the movement effortlessly pulling you towards him as you snicker when the edge of your foot touches his.
“Cater.” you whisper as your hands slowly let go of the phone.
“Yes?” he whispers back, purposefully leaning over you as he places the phone on his desk.
“Nothing. I just like saying your name.”
Whether he started it or you started it honestly didn’t matter to him, the only thing Cater cared about was pulling you close and pressing his lips against yours so he could stop listening to all of your complicated sentences.
He didn’t understand them, he didn’t understand you.
And yet you seemed to understand him probably better than he understood himself.
Arms are around his neck as you pull him close, Cater slowly walking you back to his bed as the back of your knees hit the comforter which causes both of you to fall down. You pull away to snicker at the action but are brought right back into the kiss by needy lips, Cater whispering your name as he pushed you upwards so that you would be pressed right against the wall--
He groans when you pull away and is surprised to be kissing a pair of fingers instead of your lips, your smile still as elusive as ever as you slowly push his face away.
“I have a lover, senpai.”
Cater rolls his eyes, “I don’t like those kinds of jokes.”
“I’m not joking. It’s late so I’m just going to go over to his room and tell him that you’ll cover for us, okay? Okay. ”
You pinch his nose as you try to push him away but find your wrists grabbed and locked in place, Cater giving you a hard glare as he presses his forehead against yours.
“I said I don’t like those kinds of jokes.” he leans in and gives you another kiss, “You’re not his lover.”
“Who says that?”
“[Y/N]-chan did.” Cater’s lips press against yours again as he makes his way down to the offending hickey the second year had left on you, “The way you talk about him, the way you weren’t even embarrassed at getting caught. You are toying with the heart of one of my second years and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”
He nips at the bruise before placing his lips on it, teeth gently opening up more blood vessels to form a much darker shade on your skin than what was left there before.
“Is that all you can’t forgive me for?”
Cater smiles against your skin as he takes your wrists and leads your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling you into his lap as he answers your question with a kiss.
His tongue meets yours this time around, both of you giggling at the familiar taste. When was the last time you two had kissed like this? Nevermind that, the question was already too annoying to think about. Instead, Cater moves his hips upwards as he groans into your lips at the wanted friction.
He takes a hold of your hips as he pushes you down to meet him mid-movement, his hips rolling up as yours are pushed down. The movement is sloppy and the action itself feels so unsatisfying but Cater almost feels as if this is the only thing he deserves from you. If either of you enjoyed this it would mean you two went too far--
“Haha...look at your face.”
Green eyes look at you as you cup the man’s face, pressing a gentle kiss on his nose as you start to roll your hips on his, meeting him halfway.
“You probably want to cum inside, right Cater-senpai?”
His hips jump at the mere thought, the idea of you laying on your side as his cum drips down from your sex all the way down your thighs.
“We did it with protection a lot ~We always followed the rules of our agreement…”
Hands dive between you two, Cater’s eyes never leaving yours as he works to get his pants off while his hands try to unbutton yours as well. You smile and meet him halfway again, taking your own bottoms off and tossing them carelessly to the side as you both are left in nothing but your underwear.
“Every time we did it--you always looked like you wanted to do something else--”
Cater takes the chance of you biting your lower lip to go a bit faster, the tip of his cock rubbing against you at a faster speed as he changed position quickly and hooked your knees over his elbows.
“And at first---at first I thought it was just you getting bored…”
He gasps when two of your fingers press right at the tip of his cock, the way he was moving his hips allowing it to rub comfortably against the padding of your fingers as you gently cooed at the precum gathering there.
“But one time I was able to see it. See what you really wanted--!”
His own hand makes his way in between the mess of hips and stuttered movements, his fingers tracing a familiar pattern up and down your sex as he feels you pull him out of his boxers and start to pump in rhythm.
“If...If you cum after me...I’ll let you cum inside...”
It’s starting to get hotter, Cater feels like he can see his own breath fogging up his vision.
“Count it as reward…”
The coil in his stomach is tightening, your hands moving faster as his stutters with the rhythm you were setting.
“For being honest with me at least one time.”
It’s a sticky mess, the white stuff sticking to your belly and his as he rides out his orgasm against your hand and stopping altogether when the feeling gets too much. His fingers work overtime before your back arches and you give into yours as well, your toes curling for a moment before your feet hit the mattress unceremoniously.
He didn’t know where in the world that had come from or what possessed you to talk like that...but that was probably the hardest he had released in the month you two stopped interacting with one another.
Cater looks at the mess once again before moving to clean it up, stopping only when he feels a hand tug at the front of his shirt and a pair of lips meeting his all over again.
“Offer is still on the table, senpai.”
You unbutton the first few buttons of your shirt, smiling as larger hands batted yours away to continue the job.
“Please do your best to hold out longer.”
406 notes · View notes
0097linersb · 3 years
Text
Pink Lemonade
CHAPTER 3
Pairings: Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan x Jeno x Mark x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Humor (I guess), Slow burn af
Summary: The dreamies decide to spend some weeks at an Inn in the middle of the nature to relax and enjoy some outdoor adventures, far away from their crazy idol life. What they didn’t expect was the nice girl running said Inn.
Word count: 4.1k
A/N: hEy guys, I’m SO sorry for 1. taking so long for this shitty chapter and 2. I will no longer be tagging new people simply because I am so lost and I feel like I will miss half of the people who asked so I don’t want to make anyone feel forgotten or upset
THIS ISN’t PROOF READ I SUCK I KNOW I hate thIS STORY
☼  previous / next  ☼
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The next morning you woke up before Jeno, you tried to silently sneak out to give him the chance of pretending nothing happened, in case he decided it had all been a drunken mistake and it should be forgotten. Your plan was proven kind of difficult with the whole having to untangle yourself from the man and unzipping the tent open situation, bright sun rays suddenly filling the space. You winced at the light and tried to quickly close the door back up, startled by a groaning sleepy Jeno who confusedly sat up and rubbed his eyes, “What’s going on?”
“Sorry, I was just trying to get out,” You apologized.
“Oh, ok. What time is it?”
“I have no idea, my phone died.”
The man searched for his phone among the covers and sighed when he realized he had run out of battery too. You awkwardly stared at each other, not really knowing if one of you should bring up what had happened or just casually move on.
“I don’t think the others are up yet,” You tried to start a conversation before the tension could swallow you up.
“Probably not. I’m still sleepy though, could go for a morning nap,” He smiled before lying back down, you were thankful he was trying to end the awkwardness too.
“I love morning naps.”
“Come join?” He asked with hopeful eyes and you nodded before practically throwing yourself back into his side, careful to not touch him in case he wasn’t interested and you didn’t want to impose yourself. You turned your back to Jeno and closed your eyes, ready to fall asleep in seconds, but was surprised when you felt the man’s arm silently wrapping around your waist and his chest pressing against your back before lazily whispering a “Good night” against the back of your neck. You smiled contently to yourself, hearing Jeno’s breathing get heavier and slower as sleep took over him, following his steps soon after.
The second time you woke up, was to a screaming Jisung. You and Jeno both jumped awake, startled, before running outside thinking there was a snake or something dangerous like that. The two of you were soon staring at the young boy judgingly, looking between him and the cockroach on the floor.
“Jisung, it’s dead,” Jeno sighed, trying to not get annoyed at the young man.
“It’s still moving!” He whined, still refusing to go down from the camping chair.
“They do that,” You sighed too, giving up on trying to make sense of the situation and approaching the boy with your hand out to help him down. “C’mon, help me to put the things back in the truck so we can go back to the Inn.”
Jisung reluctantly did as you said and Jeno started to wake up the others, everyone folded their tents and picked up the trash in silence, too tired and hungover to play around. If looked from afar, one might have you mistaken for extras on a zombie movie.
As you arrived back at the Inn, everyone crawled into their rooms without muttering a single word. You took advantage of the moment to take a shower since you were still in your bikins and Jaemin’s sweater, feeling completely disgusting after a day (mostly a night) of sweating. You were deep in your nirvana state of mind, enjoying the hot water relaxing your muscles and finally cleaning your hair of all that lake water, when you heard a bang at the door. You jumped in shock and looked over at the door instantly.
“Whoever is there, please let me in, I really need to pee!” Jisung screamed, fist still knocking on the door in urgency.
“You can use the bathroom downstairs!”
“Cockroaches,” He squealed before letting out a loud whine. “Please, I’m going to explode.”
You lightly groaned at the inconvenience before quickly shutting the water down and wrapping your towel around you, opening the door and signaling to Jisung that the bathroom was all his. He banged the door shut and you leaned against the hallway wall, waiting to return to your very good shower that you were missing very much after experiencing the chilly wind outside.
“Is there anything wrong?” Jaemin asked after opening his door, seeming like he had just woken up from a deep slumber.
You tried to act casually, like you weren’t standing around in just a towel, “Everything’s awesome.”
Jaemin had his mouth open to start saying something else when another door opened, an annoyed Haechan appearing behind it, “Who’s yelling and why?”
“Jisung needed to use the bathroom,” You explained, feeling way to exposed and embarrassed to elaborate.
“Can’t a guy ever sleep in peace?” Renjun’s suddenly appeared from his room, whining at his friends and rubbing at his eyes sleepily.
“Ok, can everyone please stay inside their rooms for the next 30 seconds?!” You requested loudly in frustration, kind of laughing internally at the way Jeno was midway through opening his door before muttering a sorry and closing it back in super speed.
“Yeah, sorry,” Renjun apologized before going back to his nap, but you didn’t miss the way he gave you a once-over first.
“Enjoy your shower,” Jaemin smiled at you before copying his friend.
Haechan simply stood there staring at you and you looked at him in expectation and a ting of annoyance. The man smirked at you before winking, “Looking good.”
“Yeah, and very much naked, so if you could like, just go inside for a minute,” You politely requested.
“But that’s very much what I’d like to see,” He playfully flirted with a low voice so no one would hear, slowly approaching you. He gave you no time to react as he looked down at your chest, right hand suddenly pinching your hardened nipple and you gasped in surprise, “Cold?”
He looked up at you with a teasing look and you nodded with furrowed eyebrows, confused as to what he was playing. Haechan whispered a “cute” against your ear before returning to his room with a smirk, right on time for Jisung to open the door, “Thank you so much! I’m sorry for interrupting your shower. I think I had the content of two whole wine bottles in my bladder.”
“It’s ok,” You assured him absently, still bothered by Haechan’s antics. You honestly had thought he was all bark and no bite, you two have been playfully flirting since day one and you had guessed it was just part of your friendship dynamic considering you both always laughed about it.
Well, you could do nothing about it except from seeing where life would take you two.
            _____________________________________________
After showering, you prepared some yogurt bowls with fruits and granola for breakfast, figuring you could all have a late lunch. Jaemin came downstairs after an hour and helped you out, stopping you from murdering another poor orange.
“Do you think everyone will be up for an activity today?” You asked, hoping they would opt for a more relaxing afternoon, as you were pretty much tired and hungover yourself.
Jaemin softly laughed, “If the activity is dying on the floor of the living room, yes.”
“Oh, thank god.”
“Slept late?” He raised an eyebrow at you and you almost dropped the knife you were holding.
Does he know?
“I went to bed right after you did, red wine is just not my friend,” You awkwardly laughed, trying to calm your mind down. He couldn’t have heard anything over the loud singing yesterday and Jeno probably didn’t tell him.
Jaemin said nothing to that and you both enjoyed a semi-comfortable silence until he offered, “Want me to teach you how to peel an orange?”
“Theoretically speaking I know how to do it, I just can’t make my hands actually work,” You laughed, but moved closer so he could show you anyways.
“I’ll teach you an easier way then, it’s not ideal but it’s better than losing half of the orange,” He teased and you glared at him. “You just have to cut it in half like this, and then like this. Actually you can cut it as many times as you want to. When they are in slices like this you can just use your fingers to pull the peel away.”
“Oh, I think I can do that,” You exclaimed in excitement, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. Hey, do you by any chance have more of that pineapple cake?”
“Chenle finished it but I can go to town to buy some more when we’re done with this. You can come along if you want to, they have a lot of options.”
“That sounds great.”
The two of you managed to quickly finish decorating the bowl, even adding some pretty flowers Jaemin went out to pick on top of it. After placing it all in the fridge so it wouldn’t become a mess until the others woke up, you scribbled down a note letting them know you had gone to the city and would be right back before heading outside to the car.
“Can I drive?” Jaemin asked jokingly, knowing your car was very dear to you.
“If you crash it, you’re giving me that watch,” You rolled your eyes, throwing the keys at him, who looked surprised at your compliance but laughed excitedly when catching the keys. His watch was probably worth more than your car anyways.
You hesitantly climbed into the passenger seat and tried to not say anything as Jaemin left the property in reverse, you hated riding shotgun.
He did look kind of hot, though.  
“I know how to drive, you know? You don’t have to grip the handles so tight,” The man laughed once you were already on the road.
“I’m just not used to not being the one behind the wheel,” You apologized, forcing yourself to relax your hands on your lap so you wouldn’t offend a man’s driving’s skills. “Turn right on that street. Did you enjoy skiing?”
“I did, yesterday was just a fun day as a whole. You also looked really pretty in my sweater,” He looked at you softly and It took a lot of control for you to not melt into the seat.
“I’m giving it back as soon as I wash it, by the way. Thank you again for not letting me freeze.”
“Don’t worry. You can keep it, it looked better on you.”
“Jaemin, I know you’re trying to be a gentleman and all but that’s a Balenciaga swea-“
“And I’d like for you to have it.”
“I’m really living everyone’s fanfic’s dreams, aren’t I?” You giggled softly.
“Do you read those?” Jaemin chuckled.
“Of course. I live in the middle of nowhere, anything to pass the time. Follow that Sunny Mountain sign.”
“Ok. You should teach me how to find those, I’m curious as to what our fans write about us.”
“Uh, you really shouldn’t.”
“Dirty stuff?”
“Lots of it, probably.”
Jaemin laughed at that but said nothing more, deciding to pay attention to the road for once. You were distracted trying to find a cool Spotify playlist on your phone when you felt the man’s hand on your thigh, he didn’t move it and he didn’t look at you, just staring straight ahead with a casual demeanor like it was something you did all the time. You said nothing about it, just enjoyed the touch and followed his lead.
As you arrived at the city, you directed Jaemin around until you were parking right in front of the little traditional bakery.
“Good morning, Mary. Looking beautiful as always,” You complimented the old lady behind the counter, who you have known since you were a little girl. “Please tell me you made some pineapple cake.”
“My dear, if I didn’t I would run out of business,” Mary laughed. “I’ll wrap one up for you.”
“Thank you. Jaem, do you want to try something else?” You asked, pointing to the display in front of you full of a variety of cakes, which this region was famous for.  “This is a banana one, it’s so good. The wine one is also tasty.”
Jaemin shivered at the word wine and you laughed because honestly, same.
“The banana one sounds good,” He agreed.
“Mary, I’ll take one half banana, half peach.”
The boy looked at you surprised that you remembered his favorite fruit and you just smiled at him, showing you were also paying attention.
“On it. Is that your boyfriend? I’ve been praying for you to find someone to keep you company in that big old house for ages,” The lady started, taking the cakes from the displays to cut them for you.
“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” You joked, winking at Jaemin who gave you a teasing smile back. “But unfortunately he’s just a guest at the Inn.”
“Oh, that’s unfortunate, but it’s a pleasure to meet you anyways. Maybe it’s better this way, my Gus would be jealous.”
You laughed in joy at the mention of your childhood summer friend, “How is he? I miss him!”
“He’s doing amazing,” She answered with a smile when talking about her grandson, placing the cakes’ halves on a plastic plate. “He just graduated last year, rented me a fancy dress and all.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that! I need to congratulate him. When he’s back in town, can you ask him to drop by the Inn really quickly? We’re having some internet problems as always.”
“Of course, dear. He will love that, I bet he’ll come around by the weekend. Here’s your cakes! I’ll put it on your account.”
Jaemin helped you getting one of the boxes from the balcony and you got the other.
“Thank you, Mary! Have a nice day!”
“You kids too!”
You carefully placed the cakes on the back seats, wrapping the seatbelts around it so they wouldn’t move during the transportation as Jaemin looked around, appreciating the view.
“The city is pretty cute, right?”
“It is, actually. Is that an ice cream place?”
“Kind of. But they do have an ice cream buffet.”
“That sounds awesome, can we go there?”
“I guess the cakes won’t go bad in the car if we’re quick.”
“They won’t, it’s kind of cold today.”
“Right? I thought I was sick or something,” You complained, pouting at the temperature change.
“Here, let’s go freeze,” Jaemin laughed, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders and leading you across the street.
                              ______________________________
You figured you liked Jaemin. As in, you really liked Jaemin. He was just so easy to talk to and a genuine funny caring guy – You didn’t see much of those anymore.
What was supposed to be a quick trip to the town turned into a 2 hour long tour around all the little spots the city had to offer, playfully taking photos of each other like you were in a romantic movie or something.  When you finally went back to the Inn, your heart was swollen and your cheeks were hurting from smiling too much.
“Be right back my ass,” Haechan welcomed you with a grunt.
“We took long but we brought cake,” You pinched his pouting face.
“Ok, I forgive you.”
“Are you guys hungry?”
“For cake? Yes,” Jisung excitedly exclaimed.
“I meant for real food, it’s past lunch time.”
“We actually just ate breakfast, Jeno is still sleeping,” Renjun informed.
“It’s ok, I’ll cook today,” Jaemin messed with your hair and you glared at him.
“No, you won’t. You’re a guest here.”
“And I’m a great cook, so get your ass back in bed and I’ll call you when I’m done.”
“That’s rude of you, Na Jaemin,” You joked.
“Learning from the best.”
You glared at him but decided to accept your fate. After your nap with Jeno and your shower, you were not sleepy anymore, so you decided to invite the rest to sunbathe in the lower deck by the lake. Haechan and Mark were happy to join and the three of you sprawled around under the blue sky after changing into your bathing suits. You were struggling to get sunscreen on your back and Mark silently asked for the tube in your hand, doing It for you as Haechan blabbed about League of Legends – It was really hard to hide the chills across your skin when you were wearing basically no clothes.
After Mark got over being awkward because of your exposed skin, he was actually one of the most fun people to be around that you had ever hung out with. He literally laughed and got excited over everything you and Haechan said and it made you feel special, you definitely understood his charms now. Also, with him being from Canada and all, you two had a lot more in common than you had imagined, which was revitalizing.
Soon enough, both boys started bickering over something and you just closed your eyes and tried to drift off, this was supposed to be relaxing time. But then again, it was hard to put relaxing and Haechan in the same sentence.
After what seemed like ten minutes of the men next to you arguing, you suddenly heard your name and opened your eyes begrudgingly with a “Huh?”
“Help us. Who’s right?” Haechan asked.
“I ain’t even listening, I’m sorry.”
“Haechan over here seems to think he has a bigger chance with you than I do,” Mark smirked and you chocked around air. What kind of demon possessed Mark Lee’s body?
“Of course I do, don’t I?” It was Haechan’s turn to smirk at you and you just stared between them totally lost. They were arguing about song lyrics a few minutes ago, what the fuck happened? “So? Who’s right?”
“Huh?”
“You heard me,” Haechan lifted an eyebrow at you in a challenging way.
“Let her speak,” Mark cut him off and you felt goosebumps up your body once again at his strict tone. Damn, that was definitely not expected from Mark Lee.
“This is very unprofessional,” You muttered in shock, not really knowing what to say.
“Oh, c’mon. You think I didn’t hear your little show with Jeno the other night?” Mark laughed darkly and you shrank into yourself.
“What? What happened with Jeno?” Haechan asked confused.
“Nothing,” You quickly inform, trying to end that conversation.
Mark tsks and softly put your hair behind your ear, looking at you with endearing eyes, “Our pretty Y/N had some fun times with Jeno in their tent, didn’t she? Tell Haechan.”
You gulped and turned to Haechan, only nodding in shame because you were not about to admit you sucked his friend out loud. The boy’s eyes only widened and you could see Mark’s smirk from the corner of your eyes, what a wicked man.
“Guess none of us have a chance, then. Since Jeno got to you first,” Mark played and you briskly shook your head, feeling how you were already pulsing between your legs. The man raised an eyebrow at your reaction, like it wasn’t what he had planned, “Oh?”
“Please,” Was all that you managed to let out. Too embarrassed to elaborate.
“Kiss her,” He ordered and you noticed he was talking to Haechan, who smiled widely before bending down to capture your lips.
His kiss was playful like his personality, his hand found its place behind your neck and he lightly nibbled on your bottom lip with his teeth, not allowing you to deepen the kiss like you wanted to. When you whined in frustration, you felt his smirk against your lips before he harshly grabbed your hair and pulled you closer, his tongue finally against yours.
Well, this was not how you expected your day to turn out.
You were so focused on how good it felt to melt into Haechan, that you jumped in shock when you felt Mark’s fingers playing with your bikini bottoms.
“Look how wet she it, Haechan,” He commented like he was hypnotized by the view and you two broke the kiss so he could look at where his friend was staring. Mark’s middle finger started to lightly circle your clit over the fabric and you moaned, hiding your face in shame. You were probably about to have sex. No, not sex. A threesome. With your guests!!!
“Y/N.”
“What?” You groaned.
“Y/N!”
You uncovered your eyes annoyed only to find Haechan and Mark staring at you weirdly, sitting up on their own beach towels like well-behaved boys.
“Did I fall asleep?” You asked confused.
“Yeah, we thought you were having a nightmare so we decided to wake you up,” Mark explained softly and you gulped.
“Thank you, it was horrible,” You lied, heart beating fast and chest heaving.
Mark and Haechan went back to arguing while you tried to recompose yourself, but as soon as Haechan shot you a knowing smirk, you quickly got up and left, figuring you could play cards with Renjun or something.
                                            ____________________________________
Jaemin didn’t lie when he said he was a good cook, and not only that, but he was also an organized worker, washing and cleaning everything right after using it. What a dreamy man. You were still too bothered over having a weird wet dream with your guests, who were right beside you, to think much about how amazing Jaemin was.
After everyone had lunch (and you decided to sit far far away from your sunbathing partners, safely cuddled between Chenle and Jisung at the end of the table), you washed all the dishes left while Jeno dried them, thankful that you two managed to not let things go south after your little encounter.
The Inn still had no internet so there was nothing much you could do with everyone being tired, so like Jaemin predicted, you all sprawled around the living room’s floor and played some games. After a few hours, you started getting tired of playing and turned the Tv on, trying to find the least terrible channel the Tv’s antenna could pick up, settling on a game show that got everyone pretty excited. Somehow you ended lying on Jaemin’s chest and you noticed Jeno giving you a look but couldn’t quite catch what he meant with it. He seemed normal with you after it, so you decided to let it go, realizing you were only overthinking things.
For dinner, you all had some leftovers from lunch and lots of cake. You had spent so many hours talking that you felt like you have known these boys since forever, or at least you wanted to. There was just not a moment around them when you weren’t laughing or smiling, and besides the obvious sexual tension moments, it felt really comfortable to be around them. Of course they could be annoying and inconvenient at times, they were men after all, but it was not hard to get over that.
Surprisingly enough, even after sleeping until way past noon, the boys were still tired and went to bed early with the promise of fun adventures for the next day. You and Renjun stayed back in the balcony talking about life and art, looking at the stars and drinking a glass of wine. It was nice sharing your deep thoughts with someone who matched your intensity and excitement, Renjun was indeed an artist and you loved experiencing the universe with him for a night.
When it was around 1 in the morning, the two of you said goodnight with a soft smile, knowing you two now shared a bond.
Entering your room and turning the lights on, you were surprised to find Jeno playing with his phone on your bed.
“Hey,” You offered confused.
He gave you an eye smile before dropping his phone on the bed, “Hey.”
“So, you’re in my room…”
“Just wanted to ask if I could sleep with you, it’s nice.”
“Oh, ok. Yeah, I’d like that. Let me just change,” You agreed and laughed at the way Jeno covered his eyes when you grabbed on the hem of your shirt and pulled it off, “I think we’re way past that, Jeno Lee.”
“Sorry, it’s automatic,” He explained as he dropped his hands back on the bed, watching you silently as you changed into your pajamas. You sleepily climbed into bed next to the man, both of you lying on your sides and staring at each other. “You’re so pretty.”
“Thank you,” You softly breathed out. This seemed all too familiar.
He delicately pressed his lips against yours, hand grabbing your cheek so his thumb could soothingly caress your cheek. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the soft touches, reciprocating the kiss with the same fluttering intensity. Jeno simply did that for a few minutes before breaking away from you and smiling, “Sorry, I just really wanted to kiss you.”
“It’s ok,” You giggled, content and in peace.
taglist:  @eggbutnotyolk @lauraneuuh @geeisaclown @jenotation @riemm @junguwuuu @prettychaeng @satanssugaraddiction @luvlyjaemin @sweetjaemss @oofimdumb @junglekooks @unknown5tar @rosedchae @deantrblismyhusband @yukheisworld @chippijunxiao @kkakkdugi @luvenshiti @sleep-is-all-i-seek @aka-minhyuk-kun @elithereal @jenniferecand @tacojisung @tiramisubox @hobicore-smut @renjunniex @markresonates @hufflepanda221b @ncttboo @neejaatjeh @heyyyun @yutaalove @iwishihadabettername
630 notes · View notes
aghostpost · 3 years
Text
The Hard-J (Victor Creed x Reader)
A/N: I know I said it would be ready by the weekend but... it wasn’t! Excuses only work for those that make them, so I won’t bother lmao~ This one is for @queengiuliettafirstlady and everyone else that loves a little Victor Creed intensity. ♥
“Can we not do this today, please?”
“What the hell was that about?” He slammed the door after him as I went to my kitchen to put groceries away. 
“He saw me walking back from the store, that’s it.”
“That’s it, huh? What did I say about hangin’ out with him?”
“We weren’t hanging out! I told you, he saw me walking and he was helping me carry a few things. That. Is it.”
“You see how he talks to me? How he’s always talked to me-“
“-I see two brothers who, for whatever reason, can’t seem to hack it.”
“We aren’t brothers.”
I rolled my eyes, shoving my peanut butter and fudge swirl ice cream into the freezer. “Brothers in arms.”
“Because there’s no damn respect! Always lookin’ down at me like he’s some kinda fuckin’ superior.”
“Vic…”
“I don’t want you around him. You hear me?”
I let out an exasperated sigh as I rolled my eyes. “It’s too hot to argue about this shit.”
“You’re the one arguing instead of just agreeing, Y/N.”
“Your relationship with Logan is just that: yours. I have no problem with the guy.”
“If I see you two together again-“
“- Do not end that sentence with a threat, Victor-“
“- I’ll do you one better and end it with a guaran-fucking-tee!”
“We live in the same city, I’m bound to run into him sometimes!”
“Y/N look at me… Hey!” He shouted, making me jump out of my skin as I gave him my undivided attention. Clearly he was serious, which he tended to be. But this time, more serious than normal.
He was always so very dead serious whenever we talked about Logan.
“I don’t care if you’re next door neighbors with him. If I see you two with each other again, it will not end well.”
“For him? Or for me?”
“Both o’ you.”
I stared him down and watched him do the same, his face cold hard steel, not even a muscle flexing as he spoke to me. “What the hell happened between you two, anyway?” I asked. “What did he do that’s so damn bad you’re forbidding me to even say hi? He kill your cat or somethin’?”
He smirked and let out a huff of a chuckle, his left fang peeking from behind his lips. “You think I’m kiddin’?”
I rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me to continue putting the food away. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll stay away from him, Victor. Whatever the hell makes-” I couldn’t finish my sentence before I heard the loud crash of glass breaking. I whipped around and saw a wet puddle dripping on my wall, the floor beneath it decorated with broken glass and what was a very nice bouquet of assorted flowers. “Are you shitting me?!”
“Oh, I got your attention now?”
“You had it! You’re throwing a temper tantrum, breaking my shit, all because you’re jealous of someone I’m not even interested in?”
“Jealous?” he questioned as he slowly stalked towards me, like a predator carefully eyeing its prey. I was no stranger to Victor's temper; under the right circumstances, he could go from settled to up in flames with the snap of a finger. Maybe it’s because he was never really at ease, always ready to pounce at any moment’s notice if necessary. Yeah, I know he has little patience and is kinda trigger happy to get into a fight, his own source of entertainment. But that was with other people, strangers. With me, he exercised a lot more restraint. We’d have arguments, he’d yell, maybe hurt a wall and then storm off.
But whenever Logan was involved, it was a different story...
“You need to relax,” I warned as I slowly backed away from him, ready to defend myself if necessary, even if I knew it was a losing battle. 
“Did you just say I was jealous of him?”
“Are you?”
“What reason do I have to be jealous?”
“You tell me. What is it, Vic? You think I’m gonna run off with him into the sunset? You come over here one day to see me, all my shit is packed up and I leave a note behind? I doubt he’d throw my shit around like you just did.”
“I bought you those damn flowers,” he growled.
“You gonna buy the replacements too?” I asked playfully, trying to diffuse the tension but failing. It was painfully obvious, literally, he wasn’t in the mood to play when I felt his fist grip me like a boa constrictor. He forced my head against the kitchen cabinet behind me and got close to my face. If he moved any closer he’d be able to taste the chive cream cheese bagel I had on the way over here. 
“Now that all depends…”
“Victor, let go of me. Now.”
“What’s the matter, hm? I thought you liked it rough?” he spoke with a tone of warning before a lecherous grin spread across his face. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t release a flutter deep in my belly, my incessant desire for him threatening to surface. It was embarrassing and admittedly disgusting to me, how even in moments as such, there was always going to be some shred of me that could neither ignore nor deny my constant thirst for him to satisfy me in ways only Victor knew how.
“You’ve made your point.” I tried to remain calm while fighting for air. I was willing to bet money that he could feel my pulse quickening beneath his grip. If even one of his claws came out I’d be bleeding out all over the linoleum.
“Have I?”
“You have five seconds to get the fuck off of me... or I walk.” He stared me in the eye only a few seconds longer before relinquishing his grip. If there was anything I caught on to in the seven months we’ve been seeing each other, if that’s even what you wanna call him dropping by for food, sex and quality conversation with a solid night’s rest, it’s that he actually greatly enjoyed having me in his life. He would never admit it, of course, being the poster boy for hypermasculinity; no way he’d display the level of emotion required to confess he liked me. But I picked up on it in subtle ways he probably doesn’t even notice. The way he throws his arm over me in his sleep, subconsciously keeping me in place with him. The way he came over and pretended it was just for sex, when we wouldn’t wind up having sex at all. The flowers he bought me, before throwing them to the wall in a rage. Most importantly, the way he wouldn’t stay gone long after a fight and would come back with his tail tucked in ready to apologize, afraid that would be the fight that finally scared me off and into the arms of someone else. I wasn’t using that to my advantage here, but I was letting him know what we both knew but never spoke of:
He wanted me around. He liked me.
I took a moment to allow oxygen to return to my lungs before I addressed him. “I pushed a button o’ yours with that little J-word?”
“What on Earth gave you that idea?” he asked sarcastically.
I nodded. “Fine. Noted. But I promise you, next time you use your words, because if you ever think about putting your hands on me again-”
“-Now you’re ending sentences with threats?”
“Guarantees, right?” I stalked to the corner of the kitchen and grabbed the broom that was wedged between the wall and my fridge then slammed it into his chest. “Dust pan behind the fridge,” was all I said before making my way to the bedroom.
“We’re not done-”
“-I am.” The moment I turned the corner out of the kitchen he was following me, the broom loudly clapping against the kitchen floor. The same hand that was just wrapped tightly around my throat was now finding its way around my waist along with his other one, pressing me to the wall. “Victor-“
“-I’ll getcha new flowers.”
“Fuck the flowers and fuck you.” He wasn’t hearing any of it. He grabbed my wrists and began making his way to the couch, my legs clumsily bumping into any and everything I walked towards. 
“I’m not gonna pour my heart out an’ tell you all the fucked up things about me, if that’s what you’re waitin’ for me to do.”
“Mutant in human world. It’s not hard to figure out.”
“And I’m not tellin’ you the textbook of reasons I’m not holdin’ hands with him either.”
“And I’m not agreeing to stay away from him for your reasons and personal grudges unknown.”
“So maybe I didn’t make myself as clear as I thought.” Before I was aware the back of my legs bumped into the arm of my couch. I was desperate to create some sort of distance between us, so I fell backwards and wiggled away to the far opposite end of the couch. He stood at my feet and without breaking eye contact, lifted the loose black henley from his chest. He was possibly the only person I knew that could wear black and long sleeves in the peak of a summer in the city without breaking a sweat. But now wasn’t the time to be impressed by minor things.
“It’s too hot for this, too.”
“You tellin’ me no?”
“Yes!”
“Why?” he asked as he continued advancing in my direction, fumbling with the belt on his jeans as he kicked his shoes off.
“Because I don’t feel like it. You’re not about to makeup sex your way out of putting your hands on me, dick.”
He shrugged to himself. “You never turned it down before.”
“Well, you know what they say the definition of insanity is, right…”
“Doin’ the same shit, expecting different results.”
“And I want different results, Victor.”
“Fine. So let’s try somethin’ different.” Without a word or warning he bent down and scooped me up, a hand firmly resting under each of my thighs, my legs snaked around his waist. I thought he was headed towards the bedroom, but he took a surprising left turn to the apartment balcony, gripping me tightly before using a hand to open the sliding glass door. The humidity instantly smothered me, my glasses fogging from the shock of being exposed to the summer heat after leaving my air conditioned living room. He sat in one of the wicker seats of my patio set and placed me in his lap, lifting my sundress so I could straddle him free of obstruction. He placed me directly onto his cock and was not gentle about it; my head instantly fell back as a rush of air escaped my chest, my hands finding his neck. 
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“Exactly.”
“Shut the hell up.” There was no time for playful banter. The sun had only just started to set, meaning there was still plenty daylight for us to be seen; this had to be quick. And quiet. Quiet would be the hard part without a doubt. With his help, I lifted my body up and down, his fingertips digging into my hips as he held tightly to my waist. “Holy shit, Vic.”
“Still think I’m jealous?”
I grinned to myself. “I dunno; you’re fuckin’ me like you got somethin’ to prove,” I teased. Clearly there was jealousy but I knew better than to answer him with a yes. But if jealousy is this good a sexual motivator, I’d be happy with this silver lining to our fight. He lifted my dress up more, enough for him to expose my tits and seize my right one with his mouth. My head fell back, a cry escaping me when I felt the sharp stab of his teeth on the mound of flesh. “Fuck!” He growled, his mouth vibrating slightly around my nipple. 
“Ya still gonna run away and leave a note?” he asked, the heat from his mouth making toes curl.
“Never.” Unless he pushed me to it, of course. 
I felt the pads of his fingertips press my scalp, my hair tightly intertwined in his digits as he pulled my head back and forced me to make eye contact. “Don’t threaten to walk again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Or else?” I mocked.
He shook his head, his pelvis ceasing, the rapid rise and fall of our chests the only movement remaining between us. “No. Just don’t.”
I stared at him a moment longer and simply nodded before standing and turning around, lifting my dress over my head, then taking the rusty balcony rail in my hands to steady myself. I turned to look at him; to my surprise he was already stroking himself in the absence of something else warm wrapped around his cock. “Whatcha waitin’ for?”
“Can’t enjoy the view?”
“Enjoy it any longer and I’m gonna melt.”
“Someone other than me hungry for it?” he said with a hard slap to my right cheek before roughly re-entering from behind, making me jerk forward into the hot metal rail. I grunted at the pain in effort not to be too loud and settled comfortably on him, my body fitting him like a glove. He was in no way gentle as he thrust himself in and out of me, primal grunts escaping his chest every time his hips rammed into my ass. My tits would surely be bruised the way I was uncomfortably pressed into the railing. I stared at the rusted and flaking metal coating of the bars beneath my arms and fought to keep my legs from collapsing beneath me, every bone in my limbs turning to apple sauce, my muscles sore and aching. If only this kind of workout kept me in shape and was doctor recommended. And quiet as I was, there was nothing I could do to muffle the loud smack that echoed in the air when Victor got slap happy, or the sound that came from my mouth as a result. The funny thing was, the more I tried to shush him, the more intensely he fucked me, and the more sound we both ended up making. 
“Sss, holy fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, Vic! Shit!” I cried out, the restraint I had for my volume loosening. On a slower day I would have had a bit more self control, but I never lasted long, or quietly, when he was in a more animalistic mood.
“Mm, that’s right,” he grunted, digging his fingers into my hip bones. “Lemme have it, baby.” And before I knew it I did exactly that. My legs gave out beneath me and I fell to my knees, failing to hold myself up on the balcony railing any longer as I came. My moans were beyond stifling, and I felt nothing else, not even the pools of sweat pouring out of me. For just a moment I’d fallen into a deep well of ecstasy, my head throbbing from the mix of summer heat and pleasure, before I regained some composure to return the favor. 
I grabbed the thin cushion from my patio chair and placed it at his feet and knelt before him, taking him into my mouth as deep as I could. As hungrily as I could. Without hesitation his hands flew to my head, cradling the back of my skull and maneuvering me to a pace of his pleasure. “Atta girl,” he encouraged. He knew I was a sucker for praise, and after being a complete asshole I was expecting him to lay it on with the ass kissing for the rest of the evening. Now he had me working like I was the jealous one, when really I was only in competition with myself; I wanted to see if I could make him cum quicker than any of the other times I did this. I worked my head in a swivel and both of my hands in opposing twisting motion, pulling him into me as far as I could without biting off more than I could chew. It was useless, however, since Victor was determined to push my head down way past my limits. His hips undulated as he thrust his dick deeper and deeper into my throat. He’d momentarily pause and hold his place before pulling out to allow me to draw air, all before repeating the process. “Look at me,” he demanded, which was all he needed to say for me to know what time it was. I stared upwards at him with his cock still in my mouth, my eyes glassy with tears, and he pushed himself deep into my throat one final time and pumped the tip of his dick at the back of my throat. He held eye contact for as long as he could before his head fell backwards, eyes slamming shut as I felt the muscles of his thighs tighten. He grunted a low, beastlike growl before I felt him release all he had to offer in my throat, the sensation slightly tickling. I slowly jerked his dick off for good measure to ensure I got him for every drop before swallowing the thick, sticky fluid, swirling my tongue around his tip before he removed himself from my mouth. 
“Ah, Jesus fuck,” he sighed, his chest rising and falling as he tried to recover.
“I think I missed that Sunday school lesson.” He rolled his eyes and looked down at me, head still resting in his lap, before rising and extending a hand. I grabbed and he pulled me up, coming face to face with him and the wild grin plastered on his face. “Back inside before my ass gets covered in bug bites.”
“I could scratch it for ya,” he offered, running a claw harmlessly up my spine. I shivered and pushed away from him before round two threatened to begin, sliding the balcony door open, relieved once the ice cold air conditioning hit my chest.
“No thanks. But you absolutely can buy me another bouquet of flowers. And a vase, while you’re at it.”
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Text
One Shot Werewolf Story
So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.
Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)
Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)
Here it is:
________________________
“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”
Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”
“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.
“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.
“Research.”
“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”
“…You don’t understand.”
She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.
“That’s what I said.”
Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.
“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”
I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!
“No.”
“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.
Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”
“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”
Should have just eaten her.
“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”
How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!
“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”
I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!
“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”
The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.
“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”
Steak?
“…We’ll see.”
As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.
Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.
He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.
“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”
Why do you think he’s here?
“I don’t know.”
As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.
HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!
An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”
Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!
“No!”
“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.
Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.
“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.
Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”
“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”
YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.
Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”
________________________
It had been a terrible day.
Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.
“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.
Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”
“…”
“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”
“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”
“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”
“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.
“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “
“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”
Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.
“He doesn’t have a plan.”
“Did you really expect him to?”
“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.
“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”
Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.
Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!
I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.
So… Can we go find our mate now?
You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.
Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.
Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.
She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!
Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.
Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.
Hey! You haven’t dated either.
I have instincts, at least.
“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.
He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.
“It will mean giving up territory.”
“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”
The pack has to be protected first.
Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.
“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”
Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.
“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.
“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”
“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.
He headed into town.
As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.
She’s here!
Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?
No, you idiot! Our mate!
Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.
In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.
He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?
His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.
She was beautiful.
Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.
Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.
Does she feel it too?
QUICK, FEED HER!
With what?!!! I don’t have any food!
Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!
Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.
Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”
She turned and rushed out of the store.
…You were saying?
…Maybe you were right about the steaks.
He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.
I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.
She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!
They don’t know that. She might not even know that!
To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”
“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.
Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?
She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.
“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”
This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?
She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?
Does she not feel the bond?
“Well, crap.”
As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.
Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.
________________________
Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.
It wasn’t working.
Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.
He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.
“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “
Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.
“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”
THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.
“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”
What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.
“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”
“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?”
“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.
“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”
“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”
“…Yes. So are you?”
“You said I was your mate.”
He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”
“You’re an alpha?”
“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”
“So now you know why you’re tied up.”
“…pardon?”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”
He still seemed confused. “Research?”
She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.
The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”
“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”
“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”
“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”
A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”
“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”
“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”
She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “
“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”
“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”
If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?
“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”
Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”
“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”
This is unfair!
“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”
What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?
“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”
“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.
“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”
“But…”
“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”
“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”
“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”
Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?
“No eating. No mating.”
“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”
“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”
“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.
“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.
“…pardon?”
The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.
Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”
________________________
Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.
“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”
She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”
“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”
She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”
TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!
“Umm… he’s strong…”
TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!
No!
How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!
No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!
ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!
“Are you okay?”
“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.
“…” There was a long silence.
“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”
She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!
“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”
“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”
Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “
“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”
SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!
Shush!
“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”
Alyssa! Her name is pretty!
“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.
Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?
She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!
She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.
What if she doesn’t want us?
… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.
Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.
No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!
That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.
We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!
I’ll try.
Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”
“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.
“What?”
“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”
“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”
“By remembering milk?”
“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”
“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”
I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!
Agree.
Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.
“Are all these clothes?”
“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”
He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?
“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”
“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”
She shook her head. “No need.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. “
“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.
He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.
Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!
Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!
Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.
You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!
Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!
You’re not helping…
“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.
“…”
“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”
“How do werewolves mate?”
… I think I preferred the awkward silence.
No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!
“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.
“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”
I’m game.
SHUT UP.
“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”
“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”
HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!
We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?
I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.
THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!
“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“… I see.”
“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”
“Normal 9 months.”
“Number of children per pregnancy?”
“One… unless you have twins.”
She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”
SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!
“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.
“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”
Great. I really had to bring HIM up.
“I do… but he left the pack.”
“Does that happen often?”
“No.”
“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”
“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.
“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”
“…”
Do you know?
Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?
Nope.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”
“Bridget? Your sister?”
“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”
“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”
Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”
“Do you two get along?”
“She follows orders, so I guess?”
“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”
“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.
They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.
________________________
Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.
I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.
“Different how?”
It smells like our mate! I like it!
“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”
Isn’t that normal?
“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”
“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”
She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”
“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”
“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”
“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “
Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.
How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.
“Hey!”
We’ll be just fine.
“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.
A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.
I like his voice. His touch his very warm!
“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”
“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”
The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.
I trust him.
“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.
He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.
“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”
No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.
“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”
We’ll see.
Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”
She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”
“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.
Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.
I like it here. We should live here.
“We’ll see.”
Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.
“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “
Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.
“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”
“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.
Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.
We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!
“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”
“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”
The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”
“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”
She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.
“…Who are you talking to?”
“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”
The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”
“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”
“… Are those… romance novels….?”
“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “
“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”
Alyssa started taking notes.
“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”
“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”
“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.
“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “
“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.
“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.
“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”
“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.
“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”
Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”
“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”
“Awesome!”
As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”
He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”
“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”
“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.
“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”
“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”
As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”
“Is what okay?”
“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”
Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”
He’s a good leader.
“Maybe…”
Let’s mate him!
Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.
They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:
They were all tall.
We’re… tall… too.
“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.
“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”
The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.
Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.
“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”
“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”
Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”
Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!
“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”
But…
Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”
Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.
Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!
“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”
HEY! You were sad too!
“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”
“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”
Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”
Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”
Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.
“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.
“Welcome!”
“We’re glad you’re here!”
“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”
The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”
They seem nice.
Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.
It’s a good thing, right?
Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”
________________________
Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.
Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.
He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.
Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.
We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.
I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.
I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.
They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.
“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”
Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”
“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.
“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”
“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”
“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”
Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!
Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”
“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.
His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.
Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?
She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?
No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?
We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.
As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.
“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”
“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”
“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”
“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.
“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”
Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.
“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”
My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”
“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”
“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”
“…”
“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”
“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”
“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”
“So what happened next?”
“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”
“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”
“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”
“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.
“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”
“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”
Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”
Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.
She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!
It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!
Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.
“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”
She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”
Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”
WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!
Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…
OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!
…Stupid wolf.
Silly human.
... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.
I just want her to like us… any ideas?
I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .
… Never mind… I’ll think of something.
________________________
A few weeks passed.
Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.
“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”
Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.
Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.
“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”
“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”
“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.
“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”
“But LARA…”
“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”
Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”
“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.
“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.
But she could feel it.
Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.
But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.
Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.
Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.
His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.
The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.
It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.
That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.
“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.
“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”
“… What would you do if something did?”
“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.
“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.
“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”
SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.
TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!
“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”
Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”
I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!
“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”
“…”
We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.
“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.
I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.
His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.
“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”
“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “
Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”
Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!
See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!
Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.
After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.
She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.
“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.
They walked together in silence.
As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”
Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”
“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”
“…”
“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”
“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.
I told you he knows us.
“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”
Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”
“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”
“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”
We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.
He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”
Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.
“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”
She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”
“You don’t need to worry about it.”
You’ll have to tell him eventually.
“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.
She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.
________________________
Lewis was going a little crazy.
It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.
They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.
Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.
He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.
“Should we get something to eat?”
Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.
STEAK!
STEAK PLEASE!
Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.
“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.
YES!
Our mate is the best!
Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.
“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.
Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”
“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”
His heart stopped.
Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.
“What has he done?”
Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”
Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.
“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”
“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”
“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”
His silent voice projected across the entire territory.
“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."
He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.
“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “
“I… “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.
TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!
He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.
But he couldn’t.
We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.
He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.
“Stay safe.”
With that, he continued towards the south sector.
Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.
They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.
I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.
He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.
Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.
There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.
They were breathing.
He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.
Only two.
Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.
It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.
And Nightfang knew that.
Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.
I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.
… Me too.
Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.
He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.
One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.
He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.
“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”
The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.
“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”
Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.
Kill him.
He surrendered.
The pack must be protected.
Let me knock him out.
“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.
Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.
One left.
Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.
We did it.
He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.
“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.
Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.
You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.
I’m weak.
We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.
Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.
It’s time to end this.
He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.
Mate. He picked up the pace.
________________________
Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.
Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.
“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.
“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”
As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.
This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?
Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.
She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.
“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.
“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”
“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”
“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”
“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”
That means….
She took off for the main house.
Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?
To where the real fight is.
She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.
No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.
He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.
I don’t like him.
Me either… he’s scary.
We should be careful.
She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.
Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”
His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”
“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”
Alyssa advanced closer.
“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”
“Oh really?”
“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “
“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”
“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.
“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”
“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”
“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.
“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”
“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.
“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.
This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.
I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.
They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.
I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.
“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.
“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”
SLAM!
A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.
The two alpha wolves circled each other.
“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”
“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”
He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”
“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.
“That’ll put you in danger!”
“Trust me!”
Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.
“Here you go! Be careful!”
“Thanks!”
“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”
BZZZT
His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,
“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”
“…”
“…”
There was a brief stunned silence.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.
“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.
BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.
“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.
“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.
“What is that?”
“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.
“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you alright?”
They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”
She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.
Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”
“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”
“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.
THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.
“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”
Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!
“See…”
So we should just get straight to the mating!
AGREE!
Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.
“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.
“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”
“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”
Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.
“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”
“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”
“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”
“…thanks.”
She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”
After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.
He’s our mate. He’ll understand.
“I know. And that’s what scares me.”
Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.
“Come in.”
“We need to talk.”
________________________
Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.
What if she doesn’t want to stay?
She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!
“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”
Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”
She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”
“Right.”
“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”
Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”
“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”
“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”
“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”
“What…?
“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”
Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”
“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”
“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”
“…”
“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”
Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.
“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”
He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.
We already think you’re both attractive!
Great! Let’s mate then!
Agree!
“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”
“Really?”
“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”
“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”
“We were just attacked… remember?”
He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”
She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.
“I’d like that.”
They fell into a comfortable silence.
“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.
“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”
“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.
“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”
Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”
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ncssian · 3 years
Text
A Favor: Bonus Scene Two (Gwynriel)
Masterlist
a/n: this picks up right after nesta leaves gwyn’s apartment in Part 24. warning for discussions of sex, obviously.
***
As soon as the apartment door shuts after Nesta, Gwyn releases a breath and turns to Azriel with a wide gaze. “Do I really have to teach you guitar?” she says.
“Of course not.” He rolls his eyes. It was a throwaway line meant to get Nesta off his back, and even she didn’t entirely believe it. He moves toward the kitchen to get a glass of water, still shaken from Nesta storming into Gwyn’s bedroom like that. Not that she interrupted much. Gwyn still has a long way to go before she can handle anyone touching her between her legs, Azriel thinks.
He never asked Gwyn what a twenty-seven year old woman was so afraid of sex for when she first suggested her proposal to him. She looked so scared that he would question her that he couldn’t bring himself to poke even a little bit. Not that he needs to poke. He’s not a fucking idiot, and Gwyn’s thighs had been trembling in involuntary fear under his hands earlier. She’s been hurt.
For her sake, he pretends to remain ignorant and incurious, but right now his grip on the glass in his hand is so tight it might shatter. His face remains cool as he pours himself water.
“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?” Gwyn hops up onto the kitchen counter and swings her freakishly long legs. “About what you get out of our deal?”
“I don’t expect you to teach me sex for free, obviously,” Gwyn blabbered the day after they got back from the ski lodge. “You can ask for something from me, too. Even money, if that’s your thing.”
Prostitution was not Azriel’s thing, though he wouldn’t knock it. The truth was that his brain had started turning as soon as Gwyn told him about her idea, and now it couldn’t stop. Oddly enough, this opportunity was perfect.
“Tell Nesta that I’m using you as a rebound?” Azriel nearly snorts on his water. “Did you miss the part where she almost cut my dick off and choked me with it?”
Gwyn hums noncommittally. “Being a distraction from your ex is better for me than it is for you. It’s insurance that you won’t get any funny ideas.” She narrows her teal eyes at him. “If you find yourself moving on from Nesta’s hot sister, you better tell me right away. I’ll end this whole thing quickly and cleanly.”
“Why?” He thought moving on from Elain was the goal, one he was unlikely to achieve.
“You know.” She crosses her arms in an X over her chest like she’s warding him off. “You might catch—feelings for me.”
This time Azriel really does snort on his water, hard. His laughter turns into coughing when it slips down the wrong pipe, and liquid dribbles onto his shirt. Gwyn just sits there and stares at him in vague disgust.
When he’s done choking, he wipes his mouth with the hem of his tee and gasps, “Even without Elain, you wouldn’t need to worry about that. Trust me.”
Gwyn wrinkles her freckled nose in distaste. “I would be offended if I wasn’t so relieved.”
He’s still chuckling when Gwyn says cautiously, “By the way…” She chews on the inside of her cheek. “Did you really ghost Elain?”
Azriel is no longer amused.
“When you said you broke up with her, I thought you actually broke up with her,” Gwyn continues. “I didn’t know you were one of those guys.”
Shame tinged with embarrassment floods Azriel, and he doesn’t have the slightest idea why. Why does it matter what Gwyn of all people thinks of him, especially when she doesn’t have all the details?
He thought he was making things easier for Elain by leaving without a word. He thought she would let him slip out of her mind after a couple of weeks just like he slipped out of her life, and that it would be better than having to hear him dump his insecurities on her.
He knows now that he was only making things easier for himself. Knows that if he had stayed and talked things out with Elain, she would have convinced him to stay. If he had called her at all in the past two months, he would have gone running back to Velaris like a sailor answering a siren’s song.
She’s always been a siren—which is why he can’t regret doing what would have happened eventually anyway. Even without that Vanserra bastard or some other man, Elain could never have been a permanent fixture in Azriel’s life. Little details sprinkled throughout their time together confirm that for him now.
That doesn’t mean Elain deserved it, or deserves it now. Azriel knows that.
But all he can think of to say to Gwyn is, “Yeah, maybe I am one of those guys.” He puts his glass in the sink. “You still want me as your teacher?”
Gwyn shrugs, looking away. “It’s not like I’ve got any other choice.”
Azriel would disagree. He says what he’s been thinking since they got back from Cassian’s birthday trip. “Wouldn’t you rather do this with someone you love and trust?”
“God no,” Gwyn snorts, providing no further explanation.
Azriel can understand being hesitant to admit sexual inexperience to a crush, but it doesn’t stop him from judging Gwyn’s new man. If this coworker of hers is so great, wouldn’t she be able to trust him unabashedly with her insecurities? Wouldn’t he readily accept her for all that she is?
Ugh, he’s been dipping into Nesta’s reading collection too much lately. “Alright, then.” He leans against the counter opposite Gwyn. “Let’s talk about learning. You clammed up in bed back there after ignoring my suggestions and shoving my head between your legs.”
“I clammed up because of my best friend barging into my room and catching us together,” Gwyn defends.
“Your pussy was dry as bread before that,” he retorts. Ooh, now he wants toast.
Gwyn turns a furious shade of red while Azriel starts looking around for bread. He finds it sitting by the toaster. “Can you not say that?” she hisses at him.
“What?” He looks up from dropping bread into the toaster.
“You know…” She glances around cautiously as if someone might overhear. “Pussy.”
“Pussy,” he says again, just to be annoying. Gwyn’s shoulders turn inward in embarrassment, and he has to hold back a grin. Yeah, she’s definitely not ready for oral.
He finds a butter knife and some peanut butter. “I told you to start easy and you ignored me. You tried jumping into the deep end without learning how to tread water.”
Gwyn scoffs. “And what does ‘treading water’ entail again?”
Azriel shrugs, plucking up his finished toast. “Making out, heavy petting, freshman-year-of-high-school kind of stuff.”
“I’ve done that before,” she mutters indignantly. “Maybe not in my freshman year, but I’ve done it.”
He wonders how long ago that was, or if it was before she was—hurt.
“Besides,” Gwyn goes on before he can push the matter further, “I’m not budging on kissing. I want to save that for the man I actually like.”
“You don’t like me?” Azriel raises a brow, slathering peanut butter over his toast. “You definitely don’t act the same with me as you do with other men.” Or at least that’s what he assumes. Up until a short while ago, he never would’ve been able to imagine timid Gwyn having the guts to ask anyone for sex ed. That’s got to make him special, right?
But then Gwyn waves him off and says, “That’s ‘cause you’re not a real man. I knew you before puberty.”
Azriel nearly drops his toast. “Wow, the nerve of this woman,” he mutters with wide eyes. If she keeps this up, he’s going to start regretting ever going to the same school as her. “That’s not what you said when you were going on about how attracted you are to me.”
“I said you were attractive, not that I was attracted.” Gwyn’s blush is more from irritation than shyness now. “You do the job, but you’re no Max.” She giggles at saying his name. Actually giggles. “I’ll only kiss Max.”
“What kind of stupid ass name is Max?” Azriel grumbles through a mouthful of peanut butter.
“It’s short for Maximillian.”
He chokes. “Jesus, that’s even worse.” He’s doing all this work for some guy named Maximillian. Maybe he should just go home and let Nesta give him the beating he deserves.
Except thinking about Nesta only reminds Azriel of what a coward he is, because he fears facing her again almost as much as he fears facing Elain. “By the way, could I…” he starts hesitantly.
Gwyn gives him a judgmental sneer. “You don’t want to go back to the cabin, do you?”
He shakes his head.
“You can’t stay here,” she responds, crushing his hopes. “I have plans tonight, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t let you be such a wimp.” She hops off the counter and comes over to him, surprising him by grabbing both of his shoulders. “Azriel,” she says somberly.
He swallows his toast roughly.
“You have to grow some balls,” she continues. “Not just for your sake, but for the sake of every poor woman in your life. Also, all this drama is personally a turn-off for me, which is detrimental to my sex education.” She wrinkles her nose. “Do better and all that, you know?”
Damn, okay.
Instead of standing there like an idiot, Azriel manages to say, “Fine, I’ll go.” He shoves the rest of his toast into his mouth and dusts off his hands, heading for the living room.
“Wait, you don’t have to leave right now—” Gwyn follows after him. Azriel is already on the couch, pulling a stray notepad and pen on the coffee table closer to himself.
He clicks the pen. “When’s that library guy planning to take you out?” he asks, starting to write.
Gwyn hovers near him, watching the notepad over his shoulder in confusion. “Um, this Saturday. Just a casual coffee shop thing.”
“Then I’ll see you on Friday.” He scribbles down some bullet points and labels the page LESSON PLAN. “Until then, think about a way to enjoy foreplay without kissing. Here are some suggestions so you can practice.” He tears the lined paper out of the notepad and hands it to Gwyn.
Her eyes skim over the page, brows rising with each point she reads. “Is all this really necessary?”
Azriel remembers how he barely brushed his lips against Gwyn’s core before having to pull away and kiss her quivering thigh instead. He can’t have sex with an unaroused woman, and he definitely can’t do it with a terrified woman. “Foreplay is absolutely necessary,” he says, getting up from the couch and stretching to his full height. Where Elain used to only reach his chest, Gwyn’s head almost reaches his nose. It amuses him for some reason.
“Do you like movies?” he adds. “I’ll take you to the movies on Friday.” Preferably something boring and played out, so the theater will be empty and she won’t be paying attention.
Gwyn’s eyes widen. “Is going on dates also part of foreplay?”
“It can be,” Azriel shrugs. It will be when he does it. He drops a hand onto Gwyn’s head and ruffles her hair. “I’d love to stay and help you study, but I have to go and grow some balls.” He mock-frowns at her as he heads for his shoes and keys. “See you later, Gwyneth.”
***
a/n: wait why do i wanna write the movie theater scene now… pls help me im just trying to finish this damn fic im getting too old for this
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shurisneakers · 3 years
Text
shut in [epilogue]
Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)
Warnings: anxiety, ptsd, swearing
Word count: 4k
A/N: annnnd we’re done :)) thank you to my resident bully @midnightsunfae for really getting this fic off the ground and helping with the planning. ily upo and thank you to everyone who’s read this series over the 5 months it’s been going on. it’s meant the absolute world to me :’)
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Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist
Your fingers tapped rhythmically against the table, an indicator of the nervousness that was building to a crescendo in your chest.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked, hand placed gently on your forearm.
You nodded, eyes downcast. If you looked at him, you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to follow through with it.
“I am,” you said quietly, swallowing to get rid of the lump in your throat.
“Okay,” he confirmed, letting his arm drop gently.
Ten minutes to go. You took a sip of water nervously. The glass had already found itself shifting back and forth on the table in search of the perfect place. It was a fruitless quest anyway.
The door was painted a dark green, steps leading up to it from the pavement.
“Are you sure he won’t mind?” you asked quietly, standing a stair below him in apprehension. Neither of you had contacted him or sent a message, just showed up at his place exhausted and covered in a thin layer of dirt.
“I know he won’t.” Sam raised his fist to knock thrice, a pause before knocking two more times.
A code.
He turned around slightly, checking to see if you were fine. The longer you stood out there, the more afraid you were of someone spotting the both of you, putting an end to your life before it even began. You had a feeling that paranoia would continue for a long time.
The door swung open, revealing a tall man with blonde hair leaning against the doorway with one arm. There was a nick above his eyebrow, an old scar that hadn’t faded over time. Even though his other hand was concealed behind the door, you could tell that he was holding something by the way his muscles were clenched. Years of training wouldn’t disappear overnight.
"Sam." Surprise overtook his face in a second. "You're alive."
"Don't sound so happy, I can't handle it." Sam rolled his eyes, an affectionate smile on his face. "This is Y/N, we need a place to stay."
“It’s just been a while since I heard from you, man. Coming from a hit?” Riley didn’t think twice about moving aside, scrutinising dried blood on your person as you walk past. “Nice to meet you, I’m Riley.”
It was a cane in his hand. Sam’s mention of his limp flashed in your mind.
You gave him a small wave and a quiet re-introduction of yourself, following Sam into the house.
“You could say that.” Sam paused, a hand on Riley’s shoulder as he says something out of your ear shot to him.
Riley’s face turned stoic immediately, a nod of his head and a deep exhale soon following. “Stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you.” You pressed your lips together in a straight line with a corner quirked upwards, a half smile of sorts.
“Bathroom’s down the hall, to the right.” He pointed out the direction. “I’m getting you some food. Gumbo still your thing, Wilson?”
“Anything other than peanut butter.”
Riley was a blessing you could have never prepared for; knowing exactly what you both would need and anticipating emotions you had no idea you’d be feeling. For someone who had guests show up completely uninvited to crash on his couch, he was ready as ever, given that he had been through the same thing a while ago.
It was difficult. Fuck that, it was one of the hardest things to go; not pretending like everything around you would fall into soon and that you would be fine because you had to. You had worked too damn hard for you not to be.
But you knew things weren’t going to be fine right off the bat and it would be foolish to think it was.
“Sam, look at me,” you commanded gently, but there was an edge of firmness to your tone. You were sitting on the bench near the entrance of the park.
“I’m sorry, things were going good and I thought-” He shook his face that was hiding in his palm, elbows resting on his knees.
His attacks didn’t come nearly as frequently as yours. It was easy to think that he had no trauma just because he learnt how to deal with it better.
“Look at me, Sammy.” It was just a walk in the park, a stroll that should have lasted twenty minutes tops. You had been on that trail before for the same purpose but something triggered him today, someone’s gaze who lingered too long on the both of you.
He clenched his fists, lifting his head to meet your gaze.
“Breathe with me.” You exaggerated the movements to have him follow, a system the both of you had come up with when anxiety attacks used to hit at random. A temporary solution to an aftermath that would go on for hours, days even.
It took him a few staggered breaths to get there, finally falling into routine with you. He could feel his heartbeat slow to what it was but the pit in his stomach wouldn’t subside for a while.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” you reassured, still making sure he was breathing with you. You were nervous too and your eyes were still darting about to survey your surroundings, but he needed you at that moment. “We’re safe. We’re okay.”
“No one’s here,” he mumbles, interlacing your fingers and bringing it to his forehead to lean against your hand.
“We’re okay,” you repeated, giving him the space he needed. “We’re okay.”
“Will someone be joining you?” The waiter prodded softly. If it wasn’t your incessant tapping at the table, the clammy palms and constant checking of your watch was a clear giveaway that you could use a bit of kindness that day.
“Yeah, any minute now.” You smiled at her. She simply nodded, refilling your glass of water before leaving you alone.
You looked at your watch and sighed.
Seven minutes.
Things were fine. Things were good.
Sam and you were… undefined. Labels almost seemed too constrictive for now and it wasn’t like the both of you didn’t know what the other felt. It was kind. It was soft. Sometimes you kissed his cheek when the sunlight bounced off his face while he watered the succulents and the smile he gave you was addictive. Other times he snaked an arm around your waist and leaned his head on your shoulder while you watched the street from the kitchen window.
It made you happy, and so you tried to force away the stem of doubt that creeped into your heart.
Riley had introduced the concept of movie nights and the occasional mob movie would make it in there just to poke fun at. He showed you around the city, inviting you to go grocery shopping with him at the farmers market, the best places to get a glimpse of the music scene or to subtly point out potential date night spots.
He was a genuinely nice guy, and if you thought Sam was fun to hang out with, you were not prepared for the both of them together. You could tell why Sam adored him.
“Y/N, I don’t know how you stayed with him for all that time and didn’t murder him in his sleep.” Riley glared at Sam who had once again left his collection of music CDs strewn around on a couch. It was all in jest; it was well known that Sam found an anchor in music that kept him up late at night for a sense of calm.
“It was a close call sometimes,” you added playfully, giving Sam a grin.
“You weren’t exactly easy to survive with either.” He scoffed. “How many times did we watch Megamind in a row? Eight?”
“You wouldn’t stop watching Die Hard,” you accused, arms crossed over your chest. “It was payback.”
“You made the rule saying we couldn’t watch things more than twice in a row and you broke it first.”
“I’m gonna go,” Riley interjected. “But y’all keep at this. I heard it’s good for your soul.”
“Stay there,” Sam demanded, pointing to where he was standing a second ago. “You’re gonna be play judge since you started this shit.”
“I really don’t want to.” He shook his head, staying put nonetheless, amusement clear as day on his face.
“The laundry.”
“The dishes.”
You both narrowed your eyes at each other. His argument didn’t hold a match to yours.
“You know what, I was wrong,” Riley announced to no one in particular. “I’m pretty sure you guys would kill each other under any other circumstance.”
The smile on your face faltered but you straightened it back out with a clearing of your throat before firing a comeback.
It was barely a second, almost unnoticeable. But Sam caught it.
Four minutes.
Almost time.
The tapping became more intense, and the rate at which you pulled out your phone to check the time increased.
Fuck, this was a bad idea. How were you supposed to behave with him after all this time?
Something was wrong. Something was off.
Sam wasn’t blind to it. He could see it under the smile you eased into at game night, the complaining when too much food was ordered for three people to eat, the good natured teasing when he rolled over to your side of the bed at night to steal your blanket.
Something was eating at you, gnawing at you from the inside.
His suspicion was confirmed when you whispered at 2am one night to what you thought was an asleep partner that you wanted to move out. Find a place of your own.
His stomach dropped instantly but he didn’t so much as move a muscle.
“I need to get out. I need to have a life,” you sniffed, doing your best not to wake him up as you traced circles into his skin lightly. “I don’t know what it’s like to be independent. I won’t know unless I figure it out myself.”
The air had a chill to it and it was one of the times you had asked him to sleep in the guest bedroom with you instead of on his own, knowing that it was one of those nights where you could use a little extra warmth.
“Even when we were in there I couldn’t stop thinking about whether this thing between us was just because we were forced to stay together. You said it wasn’t, and I know that but I can’t help but think-” Your voice cracked. “Would you come back to me if things were different?”
He didn’t answer, even though he knew what he wanted to say with all the certainty in the world. Your fingers continued to draw on his skin. He continued to let you.
Sam didn’t even bring up the conversation that morning, or that week. Instead, he held you a bit closer whenever he could and gave you the space to hopefully open up to him on your own time, letting you know that he’d be there to listen.
It took a while. You both were in the middle of watching a movie that wasn’t Die Hard when you told him that you needed to talk to him about something. The hesitancy in your voice and the fixation your fingers had with the hem of your sweater was painful to witness.
He understood, of course. He always did. That you needed to experience what it was like to live, not survive. That decades of living with other kids, living under an abuser, living in a safehouse for months, was restrictive and suffocating and you needed to find what made you happy.
And so did he. It was something both of you had to do eventually, exit the bubble you had been staying in under such ardent protection for those two months.
Riley was wonderfully supportive of it, vowing to find you the best apartment that New Orleans had to offer. You didn’t doubt it.
His place had been colourful and bright and everything you could have asked for after the monotone walls you were used to. But it wasn’t yours.
A few weeks later you had moved out. Sam left a lingering kiss on your forehead, a sign to say that he’d be here whenever, whatever.
You made a Shakira joke. He laughed.
A completely fresh new start. If you failed now, it was all on you.
And what a terrifying thought that was.
It had been four months since you had left Riley’s apartment behind.
Four months since you had seen either of them.
The cafe was starting to feel too small for this event. Too intimate, too-
When the bell above the cafe chimes, something at the back of your mind instantly wakes up, sending you on high alert.
“Y/N?” he called out from behind you.
You knew he’d be early.
“Sam.” You breathed out, standing up to face him.
Video calls didn’t do him any justice. He had a particular glow to him, an aura of confidence that wasn’t there the last time you saw him. His beard was neatly trimmed and the smile that tugged at his lips the minute you caught his eye was beautiful.
You didn’t realise how different he looked until the time apart. Months of makeshift workouts and peanut butter as your only source of protein had done a number on him. You remembered him being leaner, and what you now realised was the constant burden of fatigue on his face.
“You look good.” An understatement escaped you, but he did.
He had a deep blue shirt on that hugged him in all the right places. Months of seeing him only black and grey had you damn near drooling when he wore other colours after you got out.
Not that you were staring, but his biceps had definitely made a wonderful return.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Sam sent you a smile that instantly put you at ease. “Independence looks good on you, sweetheart.”
You gave a small laugh, gesturing for him to take a seat. Should you have hugged him? Shook his hand? Kissed hi-
“It’s been a while,” he politely interrupted your overthinking. “How are things going?”
You let out a small breath. It was a big question, one that you had answered over text and call a few times but it was different now. He was in front of you now and you couldn’t bullshit the way you used to on call occasionally.
“Weird,” you admitted. “I don’t know what to do with myself now that I have all this time.”
“It takes some gettin’ used to.” He nodded in agreement, leaning back in his chair.
A lot of your time went into trying new hobbies. Knitting, pottery, drawing- anything that you could get your hands on. Things didn’t always catch on, some discarded just after the first week. Others stuck, bringing you bits of triumph every time you moved forward with your newfound skill.
“You still seein’ your therapist?” He flashed a smile at the waitress who filled his glass of water.
Ah, yes. Dr. Bishop had been one of the first people you sought out.
“Yeah.” You took a sip of water. “See her weekly.”
You still had money left over from all the hit jobs that you had done. As much as you wanted to leave every inkling of that life behind, you needed the cash to live. You had enough for the time being, but you knew that eventually you had to start working; if not for the money then for the peace of mind.
“How’s that goin’?”
“She thinks I talk in elaborate metaphors. The gang’s what I call my toxic family, he was my abusive father, stuff like that.”
There were moments where you thought you saw someone you knew standing at a corner, vendors giving you icy looks from across the street, footsteps outside your door that seemed too damn loud. But nothing ever came of it.
“Thanks for the tip, by the way.” You extended a smile to him in appreciation for the idea.
“Worked with my therapist, figured it would be the same with yours.” He shrugged casually. It wasn’t like you wanted to lie to her, and you weren’t. But some things were better left in the dark.
“But I think it’s helping.” You exhaled deeply, eyes downcast. “The nightmares are reducing.”
“That’s a lot of progress.” The corner of his mouth quirked upward in pride.
Several feelings erupted from that look, some that you’d spend the whole day revelling in if you didn’t force yourself to move on.
“How about you?” you diverted the subject back to him. “How’s Riley?”
“He says he misses ya.” Sam laughed. “Says he can’t handle me alone, that he needs you back to save him.”
“What have you been doing to that poor man?” you teased, easing back into your seat. “He was fine when I left him.”
“He’s got a fancy new job now and it’s been going to his head. Needed a little humbling.”
“You’re not going too hard on him, are you?” Even though you knew he wasn’t, it was fun to make sure.
“Nah, I’d say it’s just about the right amount.” Sam grinned and you felt the familiar flutter return to your stomach. “I’ve been doing good. Working on getting my license.”
“Oh yeah, how’s that going?” You were thrilled when he said he was going to look into becoming a youth counselor, knowing that it was something he had been genuinely wanting to do for ages.
“With my background, or lack of it, it’s a little trickier than I thought it would be,” he divulges a bit more seriously. “Riley’s been pulling a few strings and I got a few contacts but it’s gonna take some more time.”
You bit your lip, worry rising for him. He deserved it, he earned it. It fucking sucked that it wasn’t going to be an easy, direct path.
“We’ll figure it out,” you said quietly, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his in reassurance.
The contact brings with it a small spark. You wondered if he still felt it.
“Yeah. We will.” He sent you a soft smile at your action, not making any effort to move it. “You been on any dates lately?”
You let out a snort at that. “Loads. Have fellas lining up at every corner for me.”
“I bet.” He’s more bold, a bit more open than he was in the first month when you both got out. “How many of them do I have to fight off?”
“I’d say six as a rough estimate.” Your expression mimicked one of consideration. “I hope you’ve been getting your hours in at the gym.”
“I’ll kick it up a notch,” he promised, hands raised in surrender.
“You better. We’re supposed to go for laser-tag.” A dumb callback to a joke he made on one of your last days there.
“Or paintball.” He remembered. It made you unnecessarily giddy. “I added an escape room to the list too.”
“Hilarious,” you fired at him, rolling your eyes slightly but the happiness on your face proved otherwise.
His laughter died down eventually, paving the way for the comfortable silence that lingered between you both. Your eyes fell down to where your hand still held his, biting your lip to conceal a smile.
“Y/N,” he called out, pulling your gaze back to his. “Jokes aside… how are you?”
You let out a breath at his question. You knew it was coming.
“Riley found me an apartment,” you murmured.
Sam looked up from his phone. “Yeah?”
“It’s a nice place. Lots of sunlight. Quiet too.” You toyed with your fingers. “But it’s about an hour away. More if you consider traffic.”
Sam set his phone down gently on the bedside table, indicating that you had his full attention.
“I don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you, because I’m not. I wouldn’t, I just-”
“Hey,” he interrupted calmly, twisting his body to face you. “I don’t think you’re abandoning me. If this is what you need, then you should do it.”
“I don’t know if this is what I need. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never been-” the frustration in your voice only increased as you went on. “-I don’t even know if this is going to work. What if I hate it?”
“Finding out what you hate is just as important as what you like, I think.” He watched you toy with the fidget square he had gotten you. “And you know that if you don’t feel like it, then you can come back here at any moment.”
“I know.” It was a comforting thought. A safety net.
“But would this make you happy?” That caught you by surprise.
It wasn’t something you had thought of. You thought of the negative consequences, the devastating effects it could have on you, how it could be the worst possible decision you’d ever make.
“I don’t know,” you mumbled, a new anxiety setting in. “I guess we’ll see.”
You liked the neighbours who played the piano way too loud at 2am, the really terrible coffee at the therapist’s office and the feeling the paper plane on your dresser gave you when you occasionally looked at it.
You didn’t like how hot the apartment could get, especially during the afternoon, or the guy who sold magazines down the street who cursed at everyone for no reason, or the gentrified Indian food they served at the mall.
But Sam was right. Figuring out what you didn’t like was just as beautiful a journey as figuring out what you did.
“I’m happy.” You breathed out. “Or I'm working towards being happy. But it’s there.”
He doesn’t say anything to that. Simply slipped his palm under yours to lift your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
“I’m proud of you.”
If anyone could feel the heat that rose to your face they would probably think you had a fever.
The fear that you had, the one of what things would be like if you weren’t forced to survive in a confined space together, had begun to fade the minute he called out your name that day.
It was Sam. Your Sam.
You shake yourself out of your train of thought with a small smile, making a move to gather up your belongings without letting go of his hand for a second.
“Well, c’mon then. Those paintballs aren’t going to shoot themselves.”
“Are you saying this is a date?” There was a smirk on his face that wasn’t there a minute ago.
“Would you still consider it one once I annihilate you?” You tilted your head in a challenge.
“That would never happen, first of all.” He scoffed. “Second… I was thinking that maybe we could do something normal for a change.”
That had you more interested than the prospect of adventure sports. You had enough of it for a lifetime, frankly speaking.
“Lead the way, Cinnamon.” He only rolled his eyes at the nickname, sending you a vaguely threatening look. You just laughed.
“This place got good coffee?” He looked around at the establishment and its patrons.
“One of the best.”
“Then I don’t see why we have to go anywhere else,” he offered and you nodded, relaxing back into your place with the same sense of warmth in your heart that only intensified with his proposal.
He raised his hand up to flag the server, the same girl who had been helping you out since you got there, asking for two menus.
The smile he sent her was infectious. It was good.
“Sam,” you began quietly. “I missed you.”
His eyes softened, the sunlight reflecting in it making it shine like dravite. “I missed you, too.”
“Ready to order?” The waitress stands beside you with a notepad.
He looked at you and you nodded with a smile.
Things were different. You were different.
And he still came back to you.
--fin--
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <3
thank you so much for reading!
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