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livstarlight · 1 year

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Please allow me to break down this wakanda forever scene for my personal entertainment and the mere reason why I think it's the funniest shit I have ever seen

So we have Namor who is blabbering his sob story to a stranger foreigner surface-dweller princess he met once and who has known for a total of... five minutes, give or take. But whatever, we are on a tight schedule, on the brink of war and with the risk of being exposed any minute, plus we are trying to form an alliance with above mentioned princess and her country, that seems to be the only one to have something in common with his own, so it's fine.

ANYWAY, he has just finished unraveling his people's but especially his entire life story because he wants Shuri to understand why he has to do what he has to do, and she starts arguing back, trying to find a common ground. A peaceful solution for both parties. Which... fair. Usual diplomatic stuff. They are both making sense.

Then Shuri says THIS:

Mind you, he is a mutant god king. A mutant god king of 500 years old. He has seen and heard a lot of things, nothing should faze him that's what I am saying. And technically has the upper hand, considering he is also sort of holding her hostage (she asked to be brought there but still) and yet:

Stunned. Absolutely flabbergasted. Looks like his brain is stammering and failing to elaborate what's happening.

But Shuri keeps going, smart and confident in her ability to turn things around.

She even smiles. And that's it. He is done. Now we can actually see his braincells on the loose, helplessly scattering around. Live.

(500 years old. Let me remind you. 500.)

Then... this. Whatever this is.

1 Why are you swaying your hand around. And so dramatically. Besides, you gave her that dress.

And 2... what are you doing. Where are you looking. Please focus we are in the middle of a diplomatic meeting that could decide the fate of both of your nations for crying out loud.

But no. No no no. We are not done. If that wasn’t enough already:

Which... scary. Shuri is genuinely unnerved, like everyone with common sense would be.

He is just stating how things are. He is being serious, after all we are talking about a secret underwater kingdom that has been hidden for centuries, but no-

Look at him. He is so proud. So cheeky for having delivered this stupid joke he is probably mentally giving himself a pat on the back for having thought of it in the first place.

Look at her face. Look at her. She is a mix between "dafuq dude" and "are you for real"

GUYS IT'S HILARIOUS I COULDN’T STOP WHEEZING. HE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE DID SOMETHING. HE PROBABLY THINKS HE IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE.

I am not even gonna say anything about the fact that after her proposition he raised zero-to-none complain and/or hesitation about showing his super secret beloved kingdom that he has been going above and beyond to protect for centuries to a girl he met yesterday whom he talked to for a total of now ten minutes. Because... really.

#that’s your bad manipulative man?#REALLY?#the 500 year old with a sense of humor of an old man #and asbolutely zero game?#that one?#OKAY #namor x shuri #namuri #nashuri #seaprincess #shuri #namor #black panther #wakanda forever #mcu

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thelastharbinger · 1 year

Video

Tenoch Huerta makes the case against “politically incorrect” humor.

[For context: the person who spoke before Tenoch was talking about growing up with comedy that would be considered offensive or non PC on television in which gay people were often made fun of and women were hyper-sexualized, but how he never applied that stuff to reality, as his defense towards Simpsons/ South Park-esque humor. Tenoch will then have a few things to say about this.]

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vneuns · 1 year

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𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐲’𝐬

PAIRING — Shuri x black!reader

WORD COUNT — idfk <3

SUMMARY — Y/n and Shuri take a trip to New York for a slice of pizza

NOTE(S) — HI MY BABIESSSS!!! it’s been way too long, this is my first piece of writing in months so bare with me pretty please, this isn’t much but i wanted to write Shuri and this came to mind. because new york pizza is absolutely fucking amazing.

reader speaks a lil italian

“Why is it so cold?” Shuri complained as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of the coat you had leant her for the night being as that they didn’t need any in Wakanda. People hurried past the two of you eager to get out of the cold. Friday nights in the big apple what else could you expect. “Will you stop complaining where almost there,” You rolled your eyes as you hooked your arm through your girlfriends and put your hand in your pocket after doing so, so it wouldn’t freeze off.

You and Shuri had met when she’d went to practically kidnap your cousin from her dorm. You hadn’t seen her in a while and figured it was as good as a time as any and decided you’d go and visit your little cousin at her dorm, the same day your now girlfriend went to go and save her life.

“I don’t know what’s so good about this Pizza anyways, we have chefs from all over the world in Wakanda who could make the exact same thing, and better!” your eyes moved to the girl next to you before coming to a complete stop and turning towards the restaurant in front of you. There were people scattered all around at various tables, making conversation and enjoying their food. “Come on Princess,” a smile adorned your face as you dragged her into the family owned pizzeria and went to sit at your usual table in the corner.

Shuri looked around a bit confused as she sat down with furrowed eyebrows, taking off her jacket slowly and placing it on the empty side of the booth next to her. “I’ve watched enough American Television to know we’re suppose to wait to be seated.”

“You have Wakanda and I have Tony’s,” the second the name leaves your lips a man in about his late 50’s, in a white chefs coat exits the kitchen and makes a bee-line towards where you’re sitting. “Y/n!” He yells cheerily and engulfs you in a big hug. The two of you rock back and forth for a minute before Tony pulls away his hands going to your face. “You start seeing royalty and suddenly Tony’s spazzatura (garbage)!” Shuri sits quietly watching the interaction between the two of you, intrigued to say the least. Pulling away you shake your hand putting your hand out towards Shuri turning slightly towards her.

“Tony this is la mia principessa (my princess) Shuri. Shuri this is my uncle Tony.” The princesses eyebrows raise in question trying to find the resemblance between the two of you. “The term Uncle being used loosely, Tony would feed me when I was in my broke college student phase-“

“She came in here everyday with five dollars got herself a slice of plain cheese pizza and a cup of coke. She’d hog this exact table until closing.” A smile found its way onto your girlfriends face at the thought of you sitting in this exact spot a few years younger surrounded by books. “It is very nice to meet you, Tony” Tony looked over at you with a confused expression when Shuri stood up and offered him her hand to shake.

“What’s she doing?”

“She’s waiting for you to shake her hand,”

“Well I see that, but why?”

“Because it’s a sign of politeness and respect Tony.” Your elbow made contact with his side as you nudged him forward a bit. You stifled a laugh as you watched Tony take her hand and shake it as if it was a foreign thing, before ultimately pulling her into him and wrapping his arms around her.

“Welcome to the family kid.” Tony told her as he pulled away giving her a pat on the back. You watched the interaction between two of your favorite people. “So what can I get you lovely ladies?”

“One large pie and two sprites please.” Tony nodded headed back in the direction of the kitchen as the two of you took your seat.

“A pie? I thought we came for pizza,” Shuri quizzed her head slightly titled like a puppy. “It’s a term we use for an entire six or eight slices of pizza.” The princess nods thanking the waiter when he comes back and places your cups of soda in front of you both.

“So tell me why again we had to fly all the way out to New york city to get pizza.” She leans forward taking a sip of the soda from her straw before pulling back immediately with a turnt up face. “What the hell is that!” You can’t help but laugh as you place a straw in your own cup and take a sip shaking your head softly.

“Soda!”

Shuri’s eyebrows furrow as she raises her top lip slightly. “Taste like battery acid.” After a few minutes of mindless conversation about what the princess has been working on in her lab, the pizza finally arrives and is sat on the table between the two of you.

“Are we suppose to eat all of this by ourselves?” You nod happily pulling a piece from the pie and taking a bite. Your eyes roll back and a moan leaves your lips. “I already don’t like it.” You place your pizza back on the plate a frown on your lips as you chew the rest of the pizza in your mouth.

“B-but you haven’t even tried it yet.”

“I should be the only one making you make noises like that.” Your eyes widen in surprise at your girlfriends bluntness and serious expression. “Just one bite.” your bottom lip hits out knowing your girlfriend could never resist.

“Fine.” Shuri rolls her eyes as she pulls the greasy slice off the tray and eyes it suspiciously. Her mouth opens slightly taking a small bite off the tip of the pizza. You watch as she keeps a stock expression as she eats the pizza; When she finishes she takes a sip of the sprite ‘battery acid’ and wipes her fingers on one of the napkins placed in front of her. “Well…”

“I think I’d enjoy a Tony’s in Wakanda.”

#lil bit of loreali gilmore humor for my girlies <3 #shuri x you #shuri x reader #shuri x black!reader #shuri #shuri x y/n #wakanda forever fanfiction #Shuri fanfic #wakanda forever x reader #wakanda forever x y/n #marvel x y/n #shuri fanfiction #mcu fanfic #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel x reader #black panther fanfic #black panther fanfiction

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maxipad031 · 1 year

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you’re scaring me, p2

part 1 synopsis: it’s been two months since the indirect shuri breakup and she’s been bombarding you with endless messages, until one of you makes the move to fix it.

contains: cursing, crying, some fluff, suggestive language, shuri x black reader

ndiyakukhumbula - i miss you, ndiyakudinga - i need you

a/n - you guys asked and so i will provide x

“one…two….three…four….five.” you counted, scrolling down on your notifications that were literally filled with all of shuri’s long texts of her apologies and desperation of wanting you back.

shuri: y/n? please, give me a sign you’re okay or something.

shuri: i know what i did was wrong, i want to fix it with you, i’ll heal with you instead of pushing you away.

shuri: baby, ndiyakukhumbula…

where was this attention when you both were actually together?

you sighed and turned off your phone, purposely not choosing to reply to them because you know somehow she’ll coax you into being with her again, and you fall for it every damn time. it just takes her to give you a certain look and boom you’re with her, in her bed, playing with the bouncy curls on her head as she shamelessly ate you out. sigh, you missed those times but shuri put her hands on you like she swore she wouldn’t and you don’t know if she’d do it again, you didn’t want to know.

you sat on your sofa in silence. you’d left the palace since you didn’t feel safe there anymore and came back to your own house that you used to lived in when you met shuri over two years ago. it was so cold, winter in wakanda was deathly and you looked up past the balcony window to watch how the snow fell like flower petals onto the ground altogether making a thick layer of pure whiteness. being in the mountains was a bit lonely but kind of a therapeutic experience as you were surrounded by just nature, except from the occasional hollering of the jibari soldiers fooling around.

you took the remote and turned off the tv. then you walked to the kitchen, about to make a nice fruit smoothie. you grabbed your expensive jbl speaker shuri had got you gotten you for your 22nd birthday, and connected it’s bluetooth to your phone. once that was done, you headed over to your spotify playlist and played the first song that came to mind, romantic homicide.

the depressing melody immediately filled the house, and you opened the fridge to take out what you needed. the lyrics filled you to the brim with total sadness because it perfectly described how you felt with shuri. she was telling you she cared but how could you know? you chopped up bananas with tears in your eyes, singing along to the melancholic song.

“i’m sick of waiting patiently for someone that won’t even arrive..” you sang, gathering them and putting it in a fruit blender. you stopped for a moment to second guess what you were doing and let some of your tears fall, putting your hands to your face to silently cry. the music stopped with a sudden ping and you sniffed as you went to see what the notification was.

as expected, it was shuri, but the message read:

shuri: y/n, stop crying for me.

how did she know? you stared at your phone seriously for a good minute and then looked around in a panicked state. you couldn’t see anyone, but you felt something looking at you.

“you should really start locking your doors.” you heard a familiar voice come from the hallway.

your neck snapped to look at it and there she was. she was dressed in all black from a black hoodie, to black joggers and black jordan’s, leaning against the living room door with her hands in her pockets. she carefully took her black glasses off to look at you. she looked so fatigued, like someone hit her with a truck back and forth. you could see you weren’t the only one affected and a string of sympathy pulled at your heart. you couldn’t stand to see her like this but you needed to stand strong.

“get out.” you demanded in a hushed tone, standing still with your phone clutched tightly in your hand.

“y/n.” she stepped forwards towards you and you stepped back simultaneously.

“please!” your voice cracked as you yelled, knees feeling weak as her presence was clouding your brain and causing you distress.

shuri stopped but silently went to her knees.

“i beg you, please forgive me y/n, i can’t function without you please, i’ll do anything just let me make this up to you, i never meant to hurt you, i don’t know what came over me.” shuri’s voice trembled as she spoke, her eyes welling up and hands shaking.

you stare down at her, your heart tugging. you two were basically bound by spirit and whatever she felt, you felt and you could feel how intense her sincerity was.

“stand up shuri.” you said, closing your eyes to seal your watery eyes.

“please.” she shuffled forwards until she was at your foot now, “ndiyakudinga.” she confessed, her bubbling desperation written all over her face.

“i said stand up!” you weren’t playing around and you hated the fact she was kneeling to you right now, it didn’t feel right.

she complied and stood up, her height towering over yours. you opened your sore eyes and looked at her. slowly, you gathered the confidence to reach up to feel her chiseled face in the cup of your left hand; it was warm, familiar, and brought you comfort. she looked at you deeply, her brown eyes mirroring her misery. you made eye contact for the first time in forever and felt up her face carefully. she rubbed her face onto your palm and reached up to hold your hand but you flinched away, looking down as you didn’t yet feel comfortable about her touching you anyhow.

shuri stared at you, guilt flooding her all over as you looked quite scared of her. she never wanted to do what she did to you and felt so bad ever since. she stayed up at night thinking of it and the scene replayed over and over again like a broken record and it was driving her nuts. the only way to combat it was if she saw you again to apologize and so here she was. suddenly, she caught you off guard and wrapped her muscular arms around you in a tight hug. you jolted and tried to push her off you but her grip remained firm.

“get off, get off.” you repeated, hitting her chest relentlessly to get her off of you but she wasn’t giving up and held you as she took your hard hits, “i hate you, i hate you!” you screamed, squirming around and still hitting her chest but it was no use. you eventually gave up and stopped fighting as you held your head against her chest, bawling your eyes out as you broke down, “i hate you shuri…” your voice was muffled but shuri heard it loud and clear, and finally, she let down the wall she’d been putting up against you; she heard you, she no longer dismissed your feelings.

“it’s okay baby, let it out.” she comforted, holding you tightly as you cried, tapping your back as you finally let out all the emotions you’d been keeping in. it felt good, the cry felt good and it felt even better in her warm embrace, something you’d craved for so long and she denied it from you which had added to your anger. you felt safe in her grasp, the usual feelings of her comfort and love were coming back to you and you missed it deeply. you drank in her scent, the one that stained your clothes, the one that never left your nose no matter how hard you drowned yourself with perfume. she felt your relief and smiled to herself knowing the process of rebuilding your relationship was happening.

once you were done, she pulled away from you and you hid your face, grabbing a tissue from the counter to clean your tears with. you used your jumper sleeve to rub off any crusty tear remnants and turned around, facing away from shuri as you couldn’t look at her in the face.

“if you’ll excuse me, i’m making a smoothie, i’ll talk to you in a second.” you said with your arms on the table and head down.

“of course, but why is there banana? i swear you’re badly allergic to them.” shuri replied with worry, looking over at the half filled blender with only banana.

shit. “uhm, yeah, no i forgot.” you said panicked, swiftly unlocking the blender and walking to put them in the bin, you forgot she knew so much about you.

“no, i’ll eat them.” she said, stopping you with a smile on her stupid handsome face.

you stared at her caring expression and nearly cried again. she was so sharp and knew what you were going to do if she didn’t come when you did. she guided your hands away from the bin and took the blender from you, getting a plate to put the banana on.

“i’ll be in the living room.” she said, plopping them one by one in her mouth as she strutted off.

you sighed, i guess you were going to have to give this another chance, but if anything went sideways you were leaving to poland for real. you laughed to yourself and cleaned up, resorting to grabbing an apple from the pantry instead. you walked into the living room and saw shuri had already made herself at home, legs hoisted up on the couch and watching marvel. you rolled your eyes and slapped her feet.

“ow, what was that for?” she asked in a fake tone as she rubbed her poor feet that even had black socks protecting them.

“for putting your dirty feet on my cream couch.” you replied, sitting besides her and eating your sweet red apple. shuri smiled widely and put an arm around you, “that’s my girl.” she stole your apple from your hand and took a large bite from it, putting it back in your hand and leaving you with basically nothing. you looked at her, mouth agape as she smugly munched on your apple. you put your tongue in your cheek with annoyance and placed the apple core down onto the coffee table in front you.

“how’d you even find me.” you inquired, leaning back up and looking at her for an answer.

“oh, you’re earrings.” she confessed, as if you already knew.

oh my god, you forgot that they had the same technology as the kimoyo beads and worked separately from them, “so you knew i was here the whole time…”

“yeah, i wanted to give you your space.” shuri turned to look at you with a soft and kind smile. you nodded in acknowledgment and looked away, focusing on the blaring tv in front of you. you felt shuri shift closer with her arm still around you. feeling more comfortable, you rested your head onto her shoulder and inhaled deeply to yourself. shuri nestled her neck onto your head and kissed your forehead, “i love you, please never forget that.”

you smiled embarrassingly wide and closed your eyes, just so happy you were with her. yep, she’d won you over again with her sweet talking, but you made it very clear with her that you wouldn’t tolerate any of her nonsense behavior, and she pinky promised that she’d tell you every thought she had so things were definitely going to get better from here.

“can i kiss you?” she then asked out of nowhere and you thought to yourself, not sure if she really deserved it right now, “no, you need to earn it.” you replied strictly, looking at her with a serious face.

“and how can i do that?” she asked, staring at your lips that she so longed to feel against hers agin.

“celebrating our anniversary even though we’ve restarted the relationship.” you said because even though you’d basically broken up, you were still adamant on doing it to celebrate the good memories you both had.

“i’m always two steps ahead y/n.” shuri chortled and stood up, outstretching her hand to you.

“i already had the reservations made later today if things went well, come with me so we can celebrate it to the fullest.” she licked her lips, looking at you with that smug fuck boy look that always flipping turned you on. you took her hand, and she helped you up. she then wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you closer so your face was inches away from hers.

“what do you say?” she stared at you with hooded eyes.

you looked at her intently before uttering the first thing that came to your mind.

“you can fuck me instead.”

tag list: @ziayamikaelson @shuri-my-love @kslo000 @cedeni-beanie