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cutesuki--bakugou · 4 years

Text

Midnight Whispers

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Angst / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Arguments, Cursing, Makeup Sex (vaginal), Hair Pulling, Bakugou Cries, Self Esteem Issues and Self Degradation, Hurt / Comfort

Written for the @bnhabookclub ‘s members bingo event!

Crossed off: Thigh Riding

Bingo Masterlist

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Art in banner by me

Daily bickering was a common occurrence between Bakugou and Koge, as it had been for their entire lives. A snide comment here. A bark to pick up socks there. A whine to not put that much spice in the food. Or salt. Depends on who was cooking, of course. With someone as headstrong and easily agitated as Bakugou as a lover, it was something that Koge had grown accustomed to, and she was easily able to weed out the serious issues from the complaints that had a tendency to leave his lips without a single thought. She wasn’t much better, and she could admit that, usually snapping right back at him with her own dry humor or sarcasm that would more often than not set him off into immediate frustration. But, as a married couple with three children to care for, bickering was bound to happen, especially if it had always been present between the couple since the first day they met.

More often than not, it was just a split second of annoyance at something the other had done, before it was filed away in the back of their minds and they returned to loving each other with a final huff or kiss on the cheek to signify that the issue was over. Sure, it wasn’t always a quick fix or easily tamed situation, but they always came out of it together, with understanding and a commitment to change. They never went to bed angry, even if it was a problem that would take days, weeks, or months to fix. Anything that was wrong, they knew that they could conquer it together, and they had learned from experience that isolating themselves and trying to deal with their problems on their own only caused harm to their relationship.

So the fact that Koge was laying in their bed alone was honestly quite astonishing to her. Nothing about the way they had argued this time had been right. What had started out as just a small comment to make sure he gets his clothes in the dirty bin and not just all over the floor blew up into a rage that she hadn’t expected at all. Sure, she could have dealt with his typical snide comment of “Yes, Master” or something more sarcastic. But what he had said made her snap back at him without thinking, and it all exploded in typical Bakugou fashion from that moment on.

“Katsuki, really, can’t you just toss your clothes in the bin? It’s not that hard. You’ve been bad about it lately. I already have to pick up after the kids all day, I shouldn’t have to pick up after you, too.” Koge huffed as she snatched a pair of Bakugou’s sweatpants, boxers and a t-shirt from off the floor, glowering at her lover as he exited the master ensuite with a towel around his hips. He had just returned home from a late shift doing his hero duties, and he had been quite grumpy, but that didn’t excuse him acting like a slob. If it had just been this one time, sure, she could deal with it, but that wasn’t the case.

Every day for nearly two weeks he’d come home late and act like a total mooch. He’d eat, shower, laze around, not clean up after himself like he should, fuck Koge on occasion, and then go straight to sleep. She hadn’t brought it up yet because she assumed that maybe he was just going through a funk, but at this point, it was exhausting.

With an annoyed click of his tongue, Bakugou stopped at his dresser, pulling open his boxer drawer without even looking at her. “Well sorry for making your life as a fucking housewife so damn difficult, Utsuro.”

Koge paused mid bend, her fingers lightly resting against the fabric of his jacket that he had also abandoned when he returned home that night. Her stomach churning in shock of his comment, she stood up straight, placing both of her hands firmly on her hips. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Bakugou glared at her over his shoulder. “What’s your problem? I come home from a twelve-hour shift, working to support you and the kids on my own, and you can’t even handle picking up some fucking clothes?”

“Katsuki, that’s not-” Koge’s voice hitched as she grew lost in what to say to him. “That’s not fair! I spend all day, literally from the moment that you get up at four until we both go to sleep keeping the house clean, doing all the laundry, cooking, taking care of the kids. It’s not just picking up the clothes!”

Bakugou gave a roll of his eyes, dropping his towel to the floor as he pulled on some boxers. “Oh yeah, because that’s just as hard as what I do.”

“I’m not claiming that it is. This isn’t a competition about who does more, Katsuki. All I need is for you to take five more seconds to put your clothes away or put your damn dishes in the sink! I’m not asking you to break your damn back when you get home. Just… I just want you to stop acting like you’re nothing but a mooching roommate who gets free food and pussy when he feels like it.” Storming over, Koge snatched his towel up off the ground, glaring up at him even though his broad and muscular body dwarfed her. “We’re a team, aren’t we? That’s what we’ve always said.”

“Tch, sure, yeah. A team.” Bakugou hissed through his teeth, agitated snarl on his lips. “We’re a fucking team. I go work my ass off all day and risk my life to bring in money, while you sit around playing and changing fucking diapers. What a team.”

Feeling her chest beginning to tighten, Koge did her best to blink away the burning in her eyes, clutching onto the towel tightly with both hands. “Why are you being like this? You’ve never been so mean about me staying home! And it’s only until Atsuki is old enough, then I’m going back to work. I’ve only been staying home for two years!”

“Yeah, two years. Two years of me busting my ass for you, and all you can do is be a little bitch about picking up after me!”

“Don’t talk to me like that! And will you look at me, stop facing away!” Koge placed both hands on his shoulder, having to use quite a bit of force to get him to turn and face her. The dark and angry glare on his face brought a lump up into her throat, tears beginning to gather up in her lashes. “Just because you’ve been working so hard doesn’t give you the right to shit on me like this, when I’m the only reason you come home to a hot meal and clean clothes!”

“I could do it all on my own without you, don’t think so highly of yourself.”

All Koge’s anger was immediately crushed into nothing but a smoldering pain, the tears finally escaping down her cheeks as her entire body went numb with shock. His rough expression faltered for just a moment at the sight of her tears, but in typical stubborn fashion, he refused to back down. “Oh, here come the fucking tears, huh? You know, it’s always been about you, you, you. You’re the one that’s depressed. You’re the one that’s struggling to love herself. You’re the one who’s fucking weak-”

“Stop it!”

“Well what about me, huh? Over all our years, have you ever even thought that I’d be struggling? That I’m the one who needs help, support, or maybe just a little fucking appreciation now and again?”

“You never want to talk to me about these things, it’s not my fault that you’re a fucking brick wall that even I can’t get through! You don’t want to let anyone more than elbow deep in your shit, what the hell do you expect me to do?!” Koge took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks, though that ended up being a fruitless attempt as more were quick to replace them. “I support and appreciate you always. I’ve always been here for you! But you’re the one that acts all tough and like nothing is wrong until you explode!”

“You’re one to fucking bark about hiding your shit, don’t start with that.”

“Then just talk to me about it,” a hiccup interrupted her, placing her hand tenderly on his bicep to try and pull him back out of his haze of anger. “I am and always will be here for you, Katsuki. Always.”

“You don’t fucking get it, Koge.” Bakugou shoved her hand away with a nudge, turning back to his dresser to pull out some sweatpants. “Everything that I do. Everything that I’ve ever tried to do. Fucking pointless.”

“It’s not pointless, Katsuki. Look how successful you are, and you have a family that loves you! I love you. That isn’t enough?”

As he finished getting dressed, Bakugou didn’t spare her another glance as he headed into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that she was at his heels. Snatching his pillow off the bed, he gave a heavy sigh, ruffling his still damp blonde locks as he paused. For a moment, he stared down at the bed, as if he were contemplating everything that had been said and what he was about to do.

“Koge… All of the love and success in the world could never make up for the shit I’ve done and the weak person that I am.”

Then he left her there, standing alone in their bedroom as he made his way down the stairs. Having closed the bedroom door behind him, his footsteps vanished quickly, leaving her aching for the sound of them returning. For the ten or so minutes she stood there waiting, the silence only grew heavier and heavier on her chest, until she was left sobbing into the damp towel she was still holding. In the end, she tried to sleep, but the empty space beside her was colder and lonelier than it had ever been. She could smell him on the sheets, and as she laid there in the darkness, she found herself waiting for the heat of his touch that wouldn’t come.

All she could do was lay there and let her mind go crazy. Why had he gone off on her like that? And what did it all mean? Was he actually growing tired of her and his family? Had they truly become such a distraction to his goals, and did he feel guilty about that? Did he not feel good enough for everything he had accomplished? There were so many things that it could be, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever truly get a real explanation from him.

Giving a heavy sigh, Koge turned her back to his side of the bed, looking at the digital clock that rested on her nightstand. The bright green color hurt her sore eyes for a moment, bringing her to blink a few times to alleviate the sting and clear the blur. It was just past two in the morning, meaning that she had been laying there awake and upset for almost four hours at this point. But, before she could try to contemplate what it was she should do, the small date on the bottom left corner of the clock caught her attention.

Instantly, she felt her heart ache, pulling her blankets tighter around her as she realized what it was that could have set him so on edge. This past day had been the anniversary of not only his kidnapping when he was a first year in high school, but also the day that All Might - Bakugou’s hero and inspiration - was forced to retire during the fight to rescue him. For weeks and months afterwards, Bakugou blamed himself for what had happened, and Koge had been there for him every second that she could. Even now, at thirty-three, Bakugou still had bad dreams and memories that created an amalgamation of issues for him.

He was strong and could hide it well, but Koge knew that it was something that he still hadn’t recovered from. The fact that it was the anniversary of one of the most traumatizing days of his life would surely explain why he had such a short fuse with her earlier. Did something happen that she hadn’t been aware of?

Giving a small whine, Koge pulled the blanket up to her face, crying quietly into the fluffy fleece fabric. Even if something did happen… What he said was awful. I can’t just let that slip. But what should I do?

Growing frustrated, the petite woman cried out and kicked all the blankets off her, rolling over onto her back to glare up at the dark ceiling. She couldn’t stand this! They never went to bed angry at each other like this. Why the hell hadn’t he marched up there to try and talk it out yet? Did he expect her to come down and apologize or something? She hadn’t even done anything wrong!

Still, she knew him. She knew that stubborn, hardheaded brat like the back of her hand, and she knew that he wouldn't apologize first. He was going to avoid this for as long as he could, which would be until morning when he had to get up to head to work. She wouldn’t put it past him to try and avoid her all morning, too, putting it off even further until he arrived home again. That was something that she couldn’t stand the thought of.

She wanted to resolve all of this.

Now.

With a huff, Koge stood, snatching the baby monitor off the nightstand to take it downstairs with her, just in case Atsuki began to cry while they were down there. Gathering her resolve, she snuck down the hallway to the stairs, being sure to not let a single sound alert either her children or Bakugou to her presence.

It was dark and chilly in the hall, with only the light from the windows along the stairwell allowing pale blue light to conquer the shadows. As she reached the top of the stairs, she stopped and listened, finding that there wasn’t a single sound outside of the ticking of a decorative wall clock in the living room space. While standing there, she couldn’t help but look over what she could see of her home, the moonlight creating such an ethereal glow over the modern decor.

This home was so special to her. Bakugou had built it, for her and their - at the time - future children. It had been almost ten years ago, now, that she first walked through the beautiful blue front door. He had done this for them. There was no way he could be tired of her after everything he had done. It wasn’t possible.

Blinking away the new tears that threatened to fall, Koge let out a quiet, trembling breath before starting to make her way down the stairs. About halfway down she paused as she heard shuffling, her pale blue gaze darting to the large couch in the living room. The back faced the stairs, so all she could see was Bakugou’s arms, which came to rest up and over the armrest. With the limp position and uncoordinated movement, Koge assumed that he had actually been able to fall asleep, which didn’t surprise her much. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, and who knows how long he spent brooding over what had happened before he crashed.

The theory that he was already asleep was confirmed when Koge got to the bottom of the stairs, able to hear his deep, steady breathing and light snoring.

Jerk, Koge thought as she approached the couch. Able to be a bitch and then just go straight to sleep. He’s such a… mess? What is all that mess? Coming around the side of the couch, Koge’s eyes first landed on the coffee table, which he at some point had pulled up closer to the couch. Haphazardly placed upon it was his phone, his work planner that he kept surprisingly good track of, and a pile of crumpled tissue paper from the box nearby.

Those tissues were the oddest things to her. He wasn’t sick, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t used them for anything weird. Had he been… crying or something? As if on cue with her thoughts, the man sleeping on the couch beside her gave a rough inhale through his nose, starling her. Finally looking down at him, she felt her heart soften, just from the absolute absurdity of his position and soft expression. On his back, both of his arms were up over his head, one tucked under his pillow while the other hung limply off the armrest. His face was turned to rest against his left bicep, cheek squished in and mouth open to accommodate his stuffed-up nose. As for his legs, one was bent at the knee while the other hung awkwardly off the couch, and it was very obvious that he had grown used to sleeping in a large bed where his body had all the room it needed.

Shockingly, the fleece blanket he had thrown over himself to sleep was still in place, pulled up to his collarbone and covering his torso to his knees. Stupid boy… that blanket is too small for him. He does look comfortable, though… But his nose is all red. When did he fall asleep? Glancing back at the table, Koge put the baby monitor down quietly, before stepping in closer to him. The face that had been scrunched up in anger was so soft now, completely void of the harsh lines that creased his fair skin. She could perfectly imagine the moments in their life when he had looked at her so softly, holding her close and showering her with affection.

Sniffling, Koge reached down to run her fingers through the soft tufts of blonde hair along his forehead, her fingertips lightly tracing along his temple and across his cheek. It was then that she could feel something she hadn’t noticed before, a wetness that he had neglected to clean up. He had been crying, self-isolated down here with nothing but his thoughts to torment him. Just like she had been.

In that moment of wiping away the tear with her thumb, Koge knew that he regretted what he had said. She knew that he was upset with himself, that he was ashamed and would rather let out all his emotions alone than have to face her with his shame. Because he was stubborn and prideful, and he couldn’t let his weakness show, not when it was something that tormented him so. Although what he had said hurt her, she needed to push him to rectify this, and in the still of the night, she knew that they could do it. Together, hidden from the rest of the world, they needed to bare their souls to each other and forgive.

There was a soft groan from his throat at her touch, his face turning more into his arm as his body tensed and stretched. Koge kept her hand on his cheek gently, softly stroking his skin to try and pull him into consciousness, pairing it with a soft cooing of his name.

“Katsuki? Katsukiiii…”

With a deep inhale through his nose, which rattled with his congestion, Bakugou’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, barely glancing over her figure in the moonlight before he rested his hand over hers.

“Utsuro…” Turning his head slowly, he pressed his lips against her palm, kissing her skin softly as if he were waking her up on a typical morning. His softness brought a new round of burning to her eyes, her free hand running through his hair again softly.

“Yes, Katsuki… Wake up, love.”

He was still for a moment, nearly falling back asleep before his eyes opened again. This time, they stayed open, glancing around his surroundings with hooded eyelids. When his tired crimson gaze finally landed back on her, his eyes widened slightly, as if he were shocked to see her there. “What are you doing, Utsuro?” He pulled her hand away from his lips, tightening his grip on her hand as his brow furrowed with worry.

“I couldn’t sleep. I… I wanted to come talk to you.”

“No… fuck off.” He pushed her hand away and slapped the other out of his hair, glaring at her stomach through his sleepy haze. “Go back to bed.” Although he tried to sound threatening, his voice wavered, and the way his eyebrows furrowed upwards was a clear sign to Koge that he had heard it, too. He wasn’t going to be able to keep himself composed.

“I won’t. I’m not letting you get away again. I forgive you, Katsuki, I want to talk about it-”

“No!” Bakugou’s voice spiked with his frustration, but he quickly lowered it as he heard it echo through the open room, being conscious of his sleeping children. “You can’t forgive me so easily! Get away from me!”

“Shhh, Katsuki,” Before he could move, Koge lifted and slipped under the fleece blanket, sitting on his stomach.

“Get off--!”

“It’s okay,” As his body began to shake with the last little hold he had on his emotions, Koge took hold of both of his cheeks, stroking them softly with her thumbs as she rested her body down against him. “Let it out, Katsuki. It’s just me.”

With her touch and soothing words, Bakugou’s face further contorted with sadness, before the tears rushed down his cheeks with the rough release of his breath. The sight of him so broken like this instantly crushed Koge’s heart, but she kept her own composure, pressing her forehead against his tenderly. “Shh… I’m here, Katsuki. It’s okay.”

“Koge… Fuck, I’m sorry-” Bakugou wrapped his arms around her like a vice, one hand buried into her hair at the back of her head while the other clutched her body close. Even his legs lifted as his body turned a bit towards the back of the couch, doing everything he could to make sure she was as physically close to him as possible. “I didn’t mean it!”

“I know you didn’t,” Koge allowed him the time to release all the built-up emotions, wiping away the hot tears with her thumbs. To allow him in closer, she carefully wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him hide his face into her chest and soak her t-shirt with his tears. She stroked his hair softly, lightly rubbing and massaging his scalp with her fingers and her nails. “I know, Katsuki… It’s okay.”

“It’s not! It’s fucking not!” Bakugou moved his other arm down around her torso, squeezing her closer. Even though his grip was tight, he held her like she was a priceless treasure, secure yet comforting and tender. “I told you I didn’t need you! I’m so damn stupid…”

“Shh… You don’t have to explain yourself right now, Katsuki--”

“You’re my everything and I talked to you like you’re a piece of fucking gum on my shoe. All because I’m fucking tired. I’m so tired.”

Frown crossing her lips, Koge nuzzled her face into his hair, closing her eyes to try and control her own tears. “You’re my everything, too, Katsuki… I could never be happy without you. And I’m so blessed that I get to have you come home to me every day. I… I know that something must have happened to make you feel so bad about yourself. But I need you to know something, okay…?” Pausing for a moment to wait and see if he wanted to respond, she took his silence and sniffles as permission to continue.

“You are not weak… And you deserve all the fame you’ve gained, and all the love you receive. You deserve your happiness. I love you. And even if everyone else turns their backs on you, I will be here. Forever. Always.”

There was a moment of silence between them, with nothing but the clicking of the clock and the sounds of his congested breathing and sniffles. Eventually, he lifted his head up to face her, his cheeks flushed so dark that she could see it even in the dim light. Smiling softly, Koge used her fingers to wipe his tears away again, before using her t-shirt to get his nose. “Snotty.”

Scrunching up his face in detest of her pinching and wiping his nose, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue. “Hey, I’m not one of the kids!”

“Maybe not, but you’re still my baby.” Caressing his cheeks, Koge leaned in to kiss the bridge of his nose softly. “My Katsuki. I love you so much.”

“But I… still need to explain myself. Why I acted out like a fucking asshole…”

“Don’t worry about that right now, love. It’s late… Neither of us have slept. Well, you did a little,” Koge smiled against his lips softly as his hand curved up along her back to her side, slowly moving down her body to her hip. “You’re really cute when you’re sleeping.”

“Yeah? What’d you do, stare at me like a weirdo?”

“No! I can’t help but think you’re cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“Yes, you are!”

“Tch…” Bakugou’s still gleaming crimson eyes glanced over every inch of Koge’s face, his hand slipping around her backside before down along her thigh that was resting up over his hip. Koge knew that look and that touch, her cheeks flushing with heat as he parted his lips up against hers, only hinting at his urge to kiss her. With his rough fingers softly digging into the plush, cold skin of her thigh, she couldn’t help but tuck herself in closer, fingers lightly gripping onto his hair while her heart began to pound. “Koge…”

“Yes, Katsuki?”

“You know when you’re really cute?”

Koge’s cheeks flushed hotter, giving a small shake of her head, her nose brushing lightly with his.

“When you’re under me, blushing and squirming… and moaning my name.” Bakugou was barely able to finish speaking before he took Koge’s lips for his own, kissing her with a breathless passion that she had been missing. For weeks now, their love making had been reduced to basic and boring fucking, leaving her unsatisfied and desperately craving the affection from him that she adored. That passion that had smoldered down to barely embers became a raging fire with just the connection of their lips, burning Koge from the inside out. She knew that fire wouldn’t cease, that nothing but being one with him could extinguish the flame, and so she allowed herself to be devoured by him.

A soft groan left his lips with just the taste of her, his hand sliding back up her thigh to pull her hips tighter up against him. Shifting her body to get closer, Koge let out a small squeak as his thigh pressed up between hers, firmly resting up against her sex. Legs intertwined and craving the new pleasure his leg provided, Koge let her hand slide around to softly caress his neck while the other stayed dug into his hair, all while her hips began to roll and grind against his thigh. With her first soft sigh of pleasure into the kiss, Bakugou kept his large palm placed firmly on her ass, squeezing the plush form.

“Do whatever you want, Utsuro,” Bakugou spoke low against her lips, catching her gaze between the moments that their lips parted. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything for you.”

Koge moaned sweetly, tightening her legs around his thigh as her grinding became more vigorous. She could feel the hard form of his cock digging into her lower stomach with each roll of her hips, being sure to purposefully push them further in so that he got some attention as well. “I just want you to love me, Katsuki,” Her voice hitched from the pressure against her clit, her skin tingling with the pleasure and heat rolling through her body from his touch. “Touch me. Hold me… And just let me in. Let me love you and comfort you, too. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Bakugou’s hand slid up under her t-shirt to caress her back near her shoulder blades, pulling her in tighter against his chest as their lips met again. Meanwhile, Koge’s traveled down across his chest and around to his back, tracing the form of his muscles until her fingers reached one of the little dimples right above where the hem of his sweatpants rested. Just feeling his body like this made her movements more passionate, picking up the pace of her grinding on his leg. It had felt like an eternity since they had been so close together like this, every other moment for weeks feeling like there was no love or emotion behind anything they did. He had been so checked out of the relationship, his mind swirling in his troubles and struggles, and although she wished that he would have come to her sooner, Koge knew why he hadn’t.

She knew, because this had happened only a few years ago, with Koge shutting down and blocking him from helping her for months on end. Back then, she hadn’t felt like she was worth his worry or like she was good enough for him at all, and she had said horrible things to him, too. And now, his internal struggles were exploding just as hers had, burdening him with feelings of inadequacy, weakness, and like he was undeserving. He didn’t have to say it. She knew, because their connection and understanding of each other wasn’t something that could be easily explained. It was deep and strong, powerful enough to get them through anything, as long as they were together.

Beginning to be able to feel her heat and wetness coating not only her underwear, but her thighs and his sweatpants as well, Koge wanted to give him something in return. Her hand slipping beneath his sweatpants and boxers, her soft touch stroked across his ass and to his hip, tenderly cupping his hard and throbbing member after she set him free from his clothes.

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled against her lips at the touch, pressing his forehead into hers to catch her gaze and watch her expression. “Your hands are always so damn cold. You fucking walking freezer.”

Koge couldn’t resist a soft smirk against his lips, rolling her thumb teasingly around this tip to displace the leaking precum. “Well, someone seems to like it. You. You’re someone.” Shifting herself up a bit higher, Koge’s leg came to rest over his hip instead, giving her enough room to let his cock rest flush between her legs and up against her sex. “How’s that? Warmer?”

“Not quite warm enough,” His hand moving back down to her ass, he used his impressive reach to be able to pull her underwear to the side, the tip of his cock teasing her wet and aching hole.

Nibbling at her bottom lip, Koge felt heat spread across her cheeks, her stomach bubbling with anticipation. She wanted him to be inside her so badly, to connect with her and be one, to share that love and sentimental passion that no one else in the world would ever see. Their love, although scarred with healed wounds and new scratches, could never be broken.

“Katsuki,” Koge whispered out breathlessly, her hand once again caressing his cheek. “Please…”

With only a slight shifting of his hips and some guidance from his fingers, Bakugou began to slip his cock into her, both of them sighing in satisfaction as they became entangled together, on their sides and as close as they could possibly get. One arm supporting her head with his fingers buried into her hair, the other hooked firmly around her waist, allowing Bakugou to hold her steady as he began a slow roll of his hips. The moonlit room was swimming with sounds of soft sighs and tender moans, surrounding them completely in a bubble of their own world that contained nothing but each other.

Koge already felt like she was going to go mad from the heat between them, the strength of his body against her, and the slow yet consistent rhythm of his cock moving inside her. This feeling of being so close to him, so full and connected was something that she would never get used to, nor was it ever something she wanted to lose. As the desperation to keep him close swirled around in her belly with all her other fluttering feelings of adoration and longing, Koge kept herself clutched onto him tightly, her nails dug into his back and foreheads resting against each other. The closeness had their noses and lips brushing with every thrust, a kiss being shared here and there between moans and soft sighs. She could stay like this forever, staring into his crimson gaze, surrounded inside and out by his presence.

“Mm, Katsuki-” Koge had to hold back a louder moan, biting down onto her bottom lip as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. “S-so good… You feel so good inside me-” A sharp gasp and a squeak cut her off as Bakugou’s grip on her hair tightened, pulling and bending her hair back just enough to add to her pleasure. He couldn’t resist a low groan that rumbled in his chest from her change in expression with the new pain, her brow furrowing upwards and lips parted in a restrained moan. The tears that she had been holding back since the beginning gathered at the corners of her eyes and in her lashes, shimmering with the moonlight and threatening to fall at any second.

“Yeah, Utsuro? You like my cock inside you? Of course you do-” Bakugou answered for her when she was only able to give a meek nod, her voice hitching with increased roughness. “Ah fuck… You’re so tight. So fucking hot!” What was once tender morphed into a greedy craving of pleasure that was mutual between them, as Bakugou rolled them over so she was on her back. His hand still gripping her hair at the scalp, he kept his lips hovering over her open mouth, captivated by her expression shifting as her eyes rolled back. “I’ve missed that look… Fuck I wish I could hear you scream for me right now.”

Keeping her legs wrapped loosely around his waist to let him move however he pleased, Koge allowed him to ravage her, doing everything she could to control the volume of her voice. He felt so good slamming into her like this, his thick cock filling up every inch of her and leaving nothing untouched. Her orgasm was quickly approaching, and she was sure to let him know that with his nails dug deep into the skin of his back and her uncontrollable subdued gasps.

“That’s it, Utsuro,” Bakugou hissed against her flushed and tear stained cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. “Cum for me, baby.”

The rare pet name slipping from his lips immediately set Koge off, more tears spilling from her eyes as her voice hitched with a moan and a sob. “Ka-Katsu--!” Right as her voice peaked, Bakugou’s large palm clamped over her mouth, releasing her hair to instead muffle her moans and uncontrollable sobs as she came hard. The feeling of her clenching and squeezing around his cock brought a hiss from behind his teeth, hiding his face into her shoulder as he helped her ride out her orgasm with slower, shallow thrusts. It took Koge a few minutes to finally fall back down from her high enough to take back control of her voice and her body, breathing heavily in through her nose and stroking his hair with trembling fingers.

Moving his hand away from her mouth, Bakugou instead caressed her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away her tears while his lips kissed away the others. Without another word, he began to move within her again, though he didn’t pick back up where he had left off. Instead, his thrusts were slow and deep, much as they had been at the beginning, his focus entirely on her face and his gaze staying firmly locked with hers. As she looked back up at him, Koge couldn’t help but wonder how there could be so much love, so much absolute infatuation within his gaze. It made her heart - her entire body - melt into him like butter, and she could only hope that he could see it in her eyes, too.

How much she loved him.

How much she needed him.

How happy he made her.

How truly blessed she was to call him her husband.

“Koge,” Bakugou spoke with trembling breath, his thrusts quickening as he grew closer to his peak. “I’m sorry. And I love you. I love you more than fucking anything.”

“I love you, too, Katsuki. I love you-!” Koge tightened her grip on him as he kissed her passionately, clenching her eyes shut tightly to try and control her tears. Within moments, Bakugou’s thrusts became erratic, digging himself into her as he released hot ropes of cum inside her. Just the feeling of how hot it was made Koge tremble, sighing softly against his lips while he moaned in pleasure of his release against hers.

“Mm, fuck--” Bakugou cupped both of her cheeks, placing kisses on her lips that soon traveled up the bridge of her nose to her forehead. “Damn it, I love you.”

Smiling, Koge gave a soft giggle as his lips came down across her temple and cheek, able to feel the heat of his lips even against her flushed skin. “I love you, too, my Katsuki. Was I cute enough for you?”

Bakugou gave a grunt, his final kiss on her lips rough and punishing for her teasing. “Don’t be a smartass.” Removing himself from her, Bakugou adjusted his clothes back into place on his hips before squeezing himself between her body and the back of the couch, laying down on his side facing her. Before Koge could even think about whining about being cold, he pulled the fleece blanket that had been pushed down near their feet back up and over them, tucking it up behind her back and under her side as she turned to face him.

“Ooh, you know me so well.” Koge nuzzled her nose against his softly as they grew comfortable together. “Mm, so toasty. My heater.”

“Fuck off.” Bakugou tenderly moved some of her hair out of her face and back behind her ear, his choice of words not matching his calm tone. “You leech.”

“Your leech, you mean. Or should I say, your baby.” Koge couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s face flushed, his brow furrowing as if he didn’t expect her to pick on him so soon. “You called me ‘baby’!”

“Tch, so what if I did?!” His typical defensive snarl was paired with a hushed yell, as if he were scolding one of his children in a store instead of his wife. “I can call you whatever the hell I want to, Utsuro!”

“Then do it! Please,” Batting her eyelashes innocently, Koge gave a playful pout. “Call me ‘baby’.”

“You want me to?”

“Yes!”

“Then I’m not going to. All you get is ‘Utsuro’!”

“You can’t just give it to me and then rip it out of my hands like that, Katsuki!” Koge whined as she shoved her head into his chest, giving his body a punishing squeeze with all her limbs that were entangled with his. “It’s the worst!”

Bakugou stroked the back of her head softly, giving a tired sigh as he closed his eyes. “But I like Utsuro…”

“I know, but there’s nothing wrong with changing it up sometimes, love.”

“But Utsuro is my name for you. And only mine.”

Cheeks flushing, Koge nuzzled her face up into his neck, kissing his skin softly. “Mm… Because I’m yours.”

“That’s right, baby,” Bakugou smirked against the top of her head as Koge gave a small, happy squeal, pressing herself in tighter against him. Though, it was quick to fade as the fight they had crept back up along his spine, and Koge was easily able to pick up on his sudden lax posture.

Tilting her head back up, she caught his gaze, her hand coming to rest softly on his cheek. “You want to tell me about it now?”

Brow furrowing deeply, Bakugou couldn’t seem to find it in himself to look into her eyes now, his gaze locked on the tip of her nose. “There’s nothing anyone could have done to me that would excuse the way I acted.”

“It still upset you, love. A lot. Please tell me?”

Bakugou fell silent for a moment, only the soft ticking of the clock through the quiet room giving Koge any sense of how many minutes went by. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, it was as if every little noise in the room hushed, from the ticking to the buzz of the electricity in the walls, and Koge couldn’t help but hold her breath.

“I’ve dealt with not being appreciated like other heroes. Like Deku or Todoroki. Or anyone else, for that matter. Anything great I ever do is always latched to my attitude… and my failures. Controversies… All that bullshit.” Bakugou paused for a moment to move a strand of hair off her cheek, still unable to look her in the eye. “These past few weeks, I felt really pressured to… Prove that I was worth something. I’ve tried hard, and it’s worked, but I began to realize that I was starting to lose you. And the kids… I worried that… to get one thing I want, I’ll have to lose the other. And that scared the shit out of me. Just even allowing myself to think like that. Total fucking stupidity.”

“Why were you feeling like you needed to prove something?” Koge couldn’t stop the small frown on her lips, which Bakugou was quick to kiss away gently. Finally, his gaze met hers, and the pain she had been familiar with since high school made itself clear.

“Because of today. You know that every year since it happened, there’s a special about All Might’s final fight and retirement. And every time… every fucking time… The asshole reporters make it seem like it’s my fault. That I haven’t been the type of hero that was worthy of being saved back then. That his sacrifice was for nothing.” A moment passed as he gathered his thoughts, his fingers still working their way through her hair. “And still, after everything I did… Everything I tried to do lately, it still happened. And then I take it out on you… I’m weak. And like I said, nothing I can do will make up for the shitty things I’ve done.”

Koge felt a burning build up in the back of her throat as new tears gathered in her eyes, placing her hand on his cheek. “Katsuki, that’s not true. You are an amazing hero, and so many people look up to you. They respect you and they adore you. There will always be some people out there with negative opinions, and you know that negativity gets higher ratings and views in the media. But those things don’t make up who you are. You are a great man. A strong hero. A loving husband and father. And there is nothing wrong with being weak, because you have people in your life who will support you and build you up stronger.”

With a blink, her frustrated tear fell from the inner corner of her eye and traveled down the side of her nose, but Bakugou was quick to wipe it away with the rough pad of his thumb. Sniffling, Koge held his hand against her cheek, soaking in the feeling of his tender touch and his heat.

“I know it’s hard to accept, but it is okay to be weak. To be imperfect. Because you grow from these things. Never forget your accomplishments. You’re Japan’s Ground Zero, the number two hero. And you are my Katsuki, number one best friend, husband, and father to three little squids. I love you. Please don’t forget to love yourself.”

Although there were no words, Koge could see the slight fault in Bakugou’s stern expression, though his face was buried into her hair as he squeezed her in close before other emotions could break loose.

“You and your mushy shit, Koge… How do you always know exactly what to say…?”

“Because I can see the truth, Katsuki.”

“Oh yeah, you have like a third eye or some shit?”

Sniffling, Koge pulled back from him, giving him multiple playful kisses on the lips in punishment of his teasing. Right as she was about to stop, Bakugou took over to kiss her tenderly, melting Koge to the core until she was like putty in his hands. With a soft hum in happiness, Koge smiled against his lips nuzzling her nose against his softly. Bakugou responded with one last kiss, giving his own sigh and small smile.

“Thank you… Koge.”

Tagging: @gallickingun , @aizawasbedtimestories

#bnhabookclub #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bnha scenarios #bnha imagines #bakugou x oc #katsuki bakugou #oc #original character #bakugou x koge #koge #bnha #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #cutesuki-oc #cutesuki-lemons #bingo

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fpwrites · 4 years

Note

hello there! idk if requests are open -if it's not sorry for bothering you- SO ANYWAY I have this idea for our precious bnha bois. maybe bakugou, kirishima, kaminari or hawks or all of them¿ if it's too much u can choose one of them. here is the idea: relationship headcanons but with totally geek s/o. like she's into games, movies, TV series, comic books -and books ofc- and maybe she has a soft side for villains bc she understands their motives THANK YOU BTW YOUR WRITING IS REALLY COOL

My requests are absolutely open! I need to post that somewhere. And even if they weren’t, you are absolutely not bothering me. Thank you so much for the request!

Geek S/O

Bakugou

(i looked for a decent Bakugo gif that I hadn’t used that fit this sitch somehow for literally an hour then gave up so i’m sorry)

he acts all tough and detached, but lowkey thinks you’re the cutest thing in the universe.

that being said, he’d sworn to protect you at all costs. all costs.

anyone tries to fuck with you, say something even slightly mean to you, he will explode them into outer space.

still calls you dumbass, extra, idiot, etc., but it’s more affectionate with you.

he loves just listening to you go on and on about movies, games and comic books. could literally listen to you for hours and has.

just loves that look you get in your eye when you start talking about it and how knowledgeable you are in that stuff.

thinks it’s interesting how you seem to understand the motives behind villains, though it kinda irks him a little bit. he’s not one to argue, but he’s a pro hero so to him, villains are villains. there’s no gray.

of course, he’ll listen to you talk about it anyway. and as long as you don’t put yourself in danger, he’ll let you hold that ideal. the second it puts you in danger though, wHALE. let’s just say boom boom.

Kirishima

Honestly, Kirishima doesn’t really mind what you’re into -- he loves you. That includes all the stuff you’re into. The fact that you’re into something so ADORABLE is just a huge plus.

Everytime you geek out over something, he just geeks out over how fucking adorable you are.

I mean, what did you expect? It’s manly to fawn over your significant other!

He thinks it’s super cool that you’re so into this stuff and you know so much. He thinks it’s really useful!

Being as chivalrous as he is, Kirishima appreciates you as a person and that includes you having a soft spot for villains.

It worries him a little -- that maybe a villain will use that soft spot to hurt you, but he figures you’re too smart for that. He hopes so anyway.

He honestly just appreciates that you’re so understanding and compassionate and able to empathize with others!

Kaminari

You’re talking about Kaminari’s LITERAL wet dream here. An S/O who is into games, comic books and shit as much as he is? He would die, his soul would leave his body at the very idea.

Geek? Check. Super hot? Check. His? Check.

He’d literally love you so much and would probs want to spend a lot of time with you.

You’re playing a game? Him too! You’re reading a comic book? Read it to him! Maybe it’s one he hasn’t read yet. Unlikely but still. You’re watching a movie? Guess what?! He’ll bring the popcorn and snacks. You’re binge-watching a new TV series? He has a bed, blankets, and arms to cuddle you with.

Like, Kaminari would love to just chill with you while ya’ll do shit together. Ya’ll would be the chill couple. Most of your time spent together would be cuddling while reading or playing games either together or separately. No one knew how but ya’ll made it work.

The soft side for villains would definitely surprise him a little, but once you explained, he would just love you more. Geeky and soft????? That’s his S/O!!!

Hawks

(Gif by tanchirou)

Honestly, just like the rest on this list, Hawks would think you’re super adorable! But he would also be glad that you have something to do while he’s hero-ing or busy in other cities.

He’d also be reassured about leaving you alone by how smart you are and how much you read and stuff. He’d be like pfft, no one could get one over on my S/O.

When you guys were together, he’d just hella nest with you while you did these things and occasionally do it with you -- like if you were playing a particularly interesting game, he might join or if you’re reading a good book, he’ll read it over your shoulder or ask you to read it to him. And then fall asleep.

Also just like the rest, the soft spot for villains would kinda surprise him and scare him a little -- make him worry that you might let a villain manipulate you, but he’d just keep an extra eye on you.

#these are terrible #IM SORRY #wookieewarrior #asks #answered #hawks x reader #reader x hawks #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #kirishima x reader #reader x kirishima #denki kaminari x reader #reader x denki kaminari #kaminari denki x reader #bnha x reader #reader x bnha #reader x mha #mha x reader #mha imagines

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you-need-a-jello-shot · 4 years

Text

a really really long post about Vicki’s final show (seriously its so long)

It’s like everything that I can remember from the performance - not really focused on vicki btw but she is in there a lot dw

In megasix Danielle winked at the audience and I don't think I've ever been so suddenly attracted to someone

Also Danielle!Parr walks like a fucking gazelle she puts so much grace and power into every step I am ASTOUNDED

Also if the whole cast would please stop smirking like that at the audience throughout the whole of Ex wives thatd be great cos I would like to leave the theatre with some of my being in tact

They kept giving eachother cute little eye contact and doing cute little things with Vicki (mostly Vicki + Collette)

Ngl I could not look away from Collette the whole time she plays Aragon like that one popular girl at school who knows they’re better than you and you agree - she is SUCH a queen bee. Like she doesn't smile she smirks at you. her eyebrow just flicks UP and my heart explodes

Also genuinely just seems more relaxed in that role compared to the first time I saw her

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT DURING NO WAY SHE WENT "MEOW" AT THE AUDIENCE I AM SO FUCKIN GAY idk how to explain which bit was at but basically at 1:17 in the recorded version when Renée says like "woo!" Collette does the meow instead and oof

After every song the audience literally would not stop clapping for like a solid 10-15 seconds

Courtney omfg she is so perfect as Boleyn she has this little shit grin on her face throughout like she just roasted the fuck outta you and I love it she sells it sO well

"he must have really liked my head...." aND THEN SHE DOES THE THING WITH THE MICROPHONE IT WAS SO FUNNY

Not exactly feral but has so much energy like idk how she does it in that costume with those lights on she must get so fuckin hot like I was hot and I was wearing a crop top (yes I know it's cold out but I'm hardcore so it's fine)

Also I don’t remember when it was but I think Boleyn said something sassy about getting her head chopped off again and she and vicki did a little fistbump in the back it was c u t e. I think court and vic really try to remind everyone boleyn and howard were actually cousins

Hana Seymour is Adorable

Like she just seems like a young version of Natalie's Seymour, which is appropriate cos she is one of the younger queen's . When she said "really, really old school" she dragged out the laughter after and looked so proud of herself

When giving her speech about how she had it easy, Nat!Seymour seems genuinely hurt by what the queen's say about her. Like she constantly has the pain of it on her mind. Whilst Hana!Seymour seems to just laugh a long a bit, rolling her eyes and stuff like it doesn't really affect her that much. Maybe her version is just more at peace with it.

Anyway we've decided to Stan because her heart of stone was so fuckin perfect like she kept looking like she was going to break down and start crying I genuinely thought she was going to but then she sang the next line with such ferocity and it totally went with the theme of the song

As always Haus of Holbein was chaotic as shit. At one point one of them started doing the Criss cross thing with their knees and then literally all of them started doing it it was great. also Danielle does fingerguns as she goes across the stage and then leaps like a ballet dance its fuckin great.

Cherelle was actually so frickin good as well!!! I didn't really know what to expect from her but I she actually puts so much thought into her performance. She has so many little mannerisms that are so funny

Can't think of many but she keeps going back to the same person on the right side of the stage "oh. You again."

Actually made me realise how little speaking lines Cleves has outside of her song I think

ALSO when Parr and Aragon are pretending to be dudes in a club going up to Cleves tHEY HAVE A HAND SHAKE AND COLLETTE HAD HER TONGUE IN HER CHEEK AND IM LIKE WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO THAT WTF

Vicki's Howard is was literally so perfect. I wasn't sure what to expect cos I've only ever seen her as Boleyn so I've seen her at peak chaos. But omg she literally made me forget she was Vicki she just seemed so SmOl. But she was also definitely a Brat Kat.

When Parr pushed her forward the audience cheered she was like "aw thanks" and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

I think I might even do a separate post of just her performance cos omf I have a lot to say

OKAY SO THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE BIt

Idk if it's cos Vicki had just done AYWD for the last time or cos it was so close to the end or what but idk the chaos energy just seemed to be AMPed

When they're prompting Parr to start and theyre all posed with their arms outstretched they held that for SO long and it was so awkward and hilarious omfg cos Danielle went to sing and then didn't and it was great

And then she was like "nah I'm good" and then everyone just kind of deflated and then band kinda tapered off and it was ALSO long

And then Aragon was like ".... :D" and tries to rehold the position even though no one else is and Howard comes forward and is like "n..no" and puts her arms down it was so fuckin funny

Then Anne was just like "wot"

When Vicki said "oh I'm Catherine Parr I draw lines in arbitrary places" she mimicked Danielle's voice and made it really deep and breathy LMAO

And then when they were all in the group arguing on stage about Parr not singing and Danielle's just there looking at the audience like :/ Howard just yelled "I SANG FOR 7 MINUTES"

And then Aragon turned round and was like "I'm so sorry about this" to the audience

And Danielle really made it seem like Parr was fully just going off randomly and it wasn't planned like she was thinking about what to say before she said anything like "um... Okay... Uh... Okay well - bit of context - I've actually had my fair share of marriages"

Also DANIELLE STEERS' SINGING VOICE IS THE SEXIEST THING

It's so breathy and deep and I oop

Like damn she just seems like the softest parr

Idk how to explain it but she was soft and wholesome but also had so much power like ma'am..... her parr just seems like the chillest person

Anyway they just were having so much fucking FUN by the end they were just fully going for it it was great to watch

And then Danielle gave a really great speech and called Vicki a firecracker and Collette was like "if you ever wanna see her silly little face again catch her on tour" and I :)))

And then they gave her flowers and started doing the megasix and the fucking POWER CUT OUT AND EVERYONE WAS JUST LIKE ...

And Courtney literally started pissing herself and started singing the song like a rugby lad and everyone joined in it was peak culture

Anyway yea that was that

#jesus thats long #six the musical

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inessencedevided · 4 years

Text

The Untamed, episode 8 - watching notes

I'm at that level of fandom right now where I have to use all my willpower to not look at spoilers, so I should really hurry up before I lose that battle

Wei Wuxian being sad is just unacceptable 😕

I'm confused: why is it frowned uponto hold a rabbit as an "upright gentleman"?

Aaaand big brother (whose name I have forgotten again) is petting it, too. How quickly a cute animal can change one's mind :D

Wwx holding and petting the rabbits, talking about taking one with them, but how it wouldn't be happy and lwj gazing at them, sad music playing, saying "farewell" .... This is one hundred percent framed as two lovers (or rather potential lovers/ almost lovers) parting ways and I'm here for it

Also, I'm quickly falling in love with lwj's ghost of a smile

Oooh, shit is going down

So the Wen clan can turn into animals? Pretty neet

Lan Xichen loves his brother so much :')

And of course wwx is after lwj :D

The "boring" still cracks me up 😂 they had s whlle conversation and that's all he said!!!

Okay, they don't turn into ravens, they just own them?

Standing on boats is way sexier than sitting in them btw

That's three "boring"s btw ^^

That actor did not have to remember a lot of lines :D

Nie is here and I'm prett sure at some point lwj is going to explode, like actually, physically. Out of sheer annoyance

Cheng is going after his brother 😭

I am screeeaaaaaming. Literally howling! They are standing in a rain of flower petals, the camera zooms in on lwj and our other two (male) characters are observing how exceptionally beautiful he is (which btw ... yeah). They use the word "gorgeous" ffs!!! Those disaster bis! 😂😂😂

I've said this in a previous post: this is all obviously very heterosexual

Btw, I love how they talk as if he isn't standing directly besides them. He can hear you!!!

Okay, turning serious for a hot second: I adore the shift between these scenes. On the market place, everything is bright and colourful, yet soft. There's flowers everywhere, falling merrily from the sky. Then, a quick cut and stark shift that is the complete opposite. Everything has been burned and blackened. Again, there are flowers, but they lie on the floor, burned and trodden down. And the music, too, turns from merry and playful to suspenseful and dark. A+ cinematography and symbolism (though I feel like I don't fully grasp the latter yet)

Do we know this place?

Wait, isn't that the statue from the second episode?

I'm a little confused about the timelines again

I like the young lady wen (again ... names). She's got her shit together

Old people and little children just have a 50% higher chance to be creepy than anyone else. I don't make the rules

Is lwj meditating or dies he honestly sleep while sitting upright? 😂

This one dude is just hiding while wwx and lwj are fighting the soul snatching statue 😅

I feel like the entire make up budget got spent on the main characters' gorgeous looks because it certainly wasn't spent on the zombie makeup

They could have just walked down those stairs, but no, they're too extra for that. They fly ^^

Sorry, but those zombies are lmt putting any particular effort into taking these doors down. They're more like... knocking

Again, they didn't need to receipt 2 meters backwards by flying and turning three times in mid-air. It's literally just for the aesthetic

Aaaand another freeze frame 😂

Honestly, I love this show but the supposedly suspenseful action scenes are a bit ... meh

Still, the flirtatious action scenes are top notch :D and that's really what I'm here for

@sweetlittlevampire and @fandom-glazed :)

#sophie watches the untamed #the untamed #the untamed liveblog #wwx #lwj #wanxian #wei wuxain #lan wanji

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

Text

The Untamed Liveblog

Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)

- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha

- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!!

- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol

- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;

- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!

(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)

- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him

also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)

- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.

- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.

- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un

- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)

- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)

- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please

- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood

- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it

- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair

- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’

- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh

- oh wen ning. very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...

- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.

- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu

this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)

the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion

- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)

- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again

- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)

- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE

why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol

- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;

- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.

- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS

- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end

- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches

- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering

- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me

also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang

- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know

they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha

- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:

- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense

- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh

- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved

- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face

- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!

- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes

- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink

- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine

- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen

- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further

I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful

- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’

- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.

- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’

- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live

- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.

- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.

- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now

- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows

(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)

- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy

(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)

- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’

- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma

- oh lan zhan

- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him

- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable

wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content

- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)

I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die

wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol

- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.

- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing

- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good

*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*

fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off

- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’

*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)

- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode

- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since

in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things

anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world

- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread

- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help

this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did

- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy

- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend

- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going

- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor

- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them

- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet

*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP

oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol

wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu

- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf

- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue

- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced

-___________-

and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK

- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)

it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol

- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun

- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she

- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(

- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end

- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him

- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)

- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian

also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’

- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)

- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful

- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own

also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage

- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)

oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here

LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe

this poor love struck man, someone help him

lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf

- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell

- crying because wen niiiiiing

- crying because sibliiiiiings

okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears

- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)

- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear

again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)

- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised

I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake

- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is

- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho

sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)

- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that

- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it

NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this

- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha

it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh

- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)

- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this

- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’

I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(

- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine

- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol

- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point

jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho

- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now

- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo

- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt

- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood

- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’

- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible

vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me

- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold

- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs

- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit

- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built

- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)

no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands

- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”

(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)

nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay

- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh

look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??

- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again

enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much

I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes

- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby

- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”

he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think

- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.

- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it

“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha

- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)

this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories

- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing

- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something

stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)

- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)

I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing

- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn

okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)

- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol

(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)

- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame

all of us: omg a BABY ToT

- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am d y i n g

this poor repressed man

fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably

I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens

- they r so in love someone hold me

- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry

- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here

- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything

- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there

- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte

- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful

- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly

I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(

- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends

- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)

- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club

- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end

- lan jingjy you are VALID

- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’

must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered

- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;

I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!

- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse

- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch

- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda

- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does

- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’

lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe

- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY

‘but new problems appeared’ how is he such a mood

again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol

- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there

- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T

- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace

whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing

- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to

- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends

- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)

- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly

- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD

- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us

(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)

- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me

dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF

the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice

- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears

this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother

nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something

- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this

- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock

- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful

- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye

- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh

- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress

- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’

- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems

- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie

- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married

- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’

- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go

- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there

madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too

- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator

me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe

- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc

one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.

- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah

- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh

- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’

- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world

- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ

- little apple is the best of us tbh

- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd

- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us

- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day

- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again

- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for

(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)

- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself

- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers

- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’

- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me

- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it h u r t s

- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through

- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder

- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole

- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words

I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart

sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal

- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch

nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option

- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious

also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf

teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A

- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol

- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’

(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)

- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)

- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e

- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard

- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me

- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years

the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk

- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)

it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol

- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)

- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y

- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)

- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational

- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this

- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you

- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)

- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him

- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.

- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world

me, openly crying: she sure was buddy

- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around

lwj: ...why

wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home

lwj, subtly relieved: oh

- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:

- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore

- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done

- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level

I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great

it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol

- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing

wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.

- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it

- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best

- T__________________________________________________________T big brother

- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls

- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc

- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao

- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)

- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’

- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead

- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this

- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him

wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here

- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH

big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭

- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)

- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY

They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome

- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat

- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself

contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy

- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye

- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)

- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf

- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD

- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character

- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous

who’s chopping onions in here

- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad

- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it. d u d e this goddamn story

(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)

- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;

- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol

- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #nie brothers #(b/c predictably that's what most of my feelings boil down to lol)#meta #I think I might have outdone myself with this; this is a new height of aimless unproductive nonsense even for me lol #I did this instead of working on the edit of the fic I've got nearly finished because... I don't know either guys I just don't know

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minnie-marvel · 6 years

Text

Operation Juliet (Peter Parker x Reader) Part 3 [finale]

You’ve been head over heels for Peter Parker for almost a year hiding your feelings behind love letters that you never thought would reach him. When your best friend slips one into your locker, you give up on hiding your letters from Peter and begin to slip them into his locker on a daily basis. Peter is through with not knowing who you are so he and Ned finally decide to engage in a proper investigation to figure out your identity!

Peter Parker x Reader

Part 1 Part 2

Words:

A/N:Finally!! The curtain comes to a close on this romantic sap of a fic!! I’m so glad you all enjoyed this piece it was honestly a freaking delight to create this. Like writing love letters is so fun and sweet If only i had someone to write some to hahaha

Before we go on although I’d like to bring your attention to this MASTERPIECE @seven-magic-sins drew for this fic!!! PLEASE CHECK OUT THEIR ART WHAT THEY DID WAS SUPER SWEET AND THEY DESERVE ALL THE LOVE!!!!

(BTW if anyone makes fanart for my fics you bet your sweet ass I’ll be featuring it in my works!!! It’s too thoughtful to ignore!!! As long as it’s PG I’ll be putting it on the next update of said fic!!!)

Now then, let’s get to the good stuff shall we?

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His breathing stopped, his heart froze, his eyes locked onto your notebook where your name was written in a perfectly adorable script that he had only seen once before.

“Thanks!!” you chirped innocently as Peter handed you your notebook trying to keep himself from bursting into flames at the mere sight of you. He didn’t meet your eyes for a moment as he mumbled a quick “no problem” to you. When he was finally able to peel his gaze back from the floor, he nearly fell over again. He was stunned at how cool and collective you were being, despite your underlying romantic demeanor. You were the girl he was looking for, his Juliet.

Unfortunately for you, you were about as oblivious as Peter, and didn’t notice his obvious ogling over you. Or maybe you were just completely thrown off due to the fact that Peter was actually talking to you in the first place?

Peter’s brain felt clogged with all of the incoming messages his heart was seemingly telling him. It was screaming that he was an idiot, a dork and super lame for not being able to come up with anything to say for at least three minutes. You both were left in a very awkward silence, neither of you being able to believe that you were actually talking to the other person.

“So uh… my friend said she talked to you about Spiderman today!” You felt your voice crack again. Godamnit. He had to take a moment to think back to who you could possibly be talking about. Was it a girl? Or worse, maybe a boy? That’s when the realization struck him like a brick to the head.

“Oh yeah!! The girl on track.. what was her name?? Sorry, I’m like… really bad with those.” He said quickly. You shook your head happy that you had gotten a conversation flowing. “Eve!” you answered. You weren’t going to tell him that she was essentially your distraction, but it wasn’t like you had to anymore, Peter had soon pieced together your little plan to throw him off.

He felt his brain slap himself. Oh, you were good, too good.

“Right…” he said softly. “You know Y/N, I never really see you around school! Where are you always hiding?” he gave a soft laugh that sent your heart sky high. Ah yes, that was why you were in love with him. It wasn’t that you had forgotten, but seeing Peter being so adorable in person seemed to make you fall all over again.

You blushed realizing you had let a second or two fly by before responding due to you swooning over him internally. “Oh well, I’m not exactly in your classes, I’m just a grade below you but…there’s always passing!!” You said quickly to make up for the lost time. You felt embarrassment sink in your chest. You really hoped he didn’t suddenly see you as some squabbling infant in comparison to him.

“That makes sense…” He said a little too thoughtfully for your taste. Oh god, why was he saying it like that?? Were you drooling?? You were probably drooling. You wiped your mouth slightly despite no saliva being present. “It’s too bad, it would be cool to see you around more often, you’re a pretty sweet person!”

911? Yes, you’d like to report a homicide. This boy had practically shot you in the heart.

You started to giggle like an idiot. “N-no not really..!!” you said trying to look away from him. Peter couldn’t help but give a laugh as well. Boy, if you were this bashful over a small compliment, who knew what you would do if he actually told you how he thought you were a literal angel sent from heaven that he didn’t know he deserved.

You felt the train slowly pull to a stop and felt your heart tear slightly as Peter started to move. “This is me,” He said sadly himself. He wanted to tell you he knew you, so badly. Not that he had known you from your first day of school when you dropped your books all over the floor just as you did a few minutes ago. He wanted to tell you that he knew you and everything that your heart wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell you that his heart wanted to speak to yours too.

“Bye Peter!” You waved to him as he took a step off the bus. He gave you a smile that made you want to faint before walking off into the distance while the train pulled off again. Peter pulled his phone out almost immediately texting Ned.

‘Ned. Emergency. I know who Juliet is.’ --- Ned had met Peter at his apartment as soon as he could. Overwatch would have to wait, it wasn’t every day he and Peter had a cute girl pinning after one of them.

“Oh!! Y/N!” Ned said stroking his chin as he spun in Peter’s chair. “I see her a lot in the library,” he thought allowed. “She’s super quiet though I’ve never even heard her speak before…” his hand dropped to his side in disbelief. “I can’t believe she of all people is… Juliet.” He shrugged.

“What?? Dude, she’s like perfect come on!!!” Peter shouted.

“No, no, bro I’m not saying she’s not perfect!! I just didn’t think it would be her,” Ned said. He stood still for a moment before turning fully to him. “How are you gonna tell her Pete?”

Peter pursed his lips. “Well, there’s only one thing I can do,” He said simply. --- You hummed softly to yourself, you were having a fantastic day. You had gotten an A on your math test which you were convinced that you had failed (math and science was never your strong suits). You had finished one of your reading assignments freeing your weekend up, and on top of all that, yesterday’s conversation with Peter still left you feeling on top of the world.

The last bell of the day had rung and your felt your excitement grow. The weekend was here and you were free to do whatever you pleased. You opened up your locker to pack up your things for the weekend when you felt something tap your feet. Your eyes naturally glanced at the floor and you felt your chest clench.

There was a small envelope lying at your feet with your name written on its front.

You swept it into your hands almost immediately, fearful that it might disappear if you didn’t pick it up quick enough. Your fingers trembled as they slowly tore through the paper revealing a letter inside. You felt your skin shake as you read.

To the silently sweet Y/N, who writes from afar,

Okay, first off, I know this is super cheesy and a dumb attempt to try and copy what you’ve mastered. What you’ve created for the past month is not something as simple as letters Y/N; it’s an art. I’m an idiot for not realizing sooner. You’d think someone who’s gained a full-time internship to Stark labs would have known better. Enough about me although, I’m sure you’ve had enough letters about me in your hands long enough. It’s time for me to finally return your favor. If you are as loving, intelligent, and beautiful as Juliet, am I even worthy to be your Romeo? I’ve never been one to be very confident, but I think I’d do a better job than a Montague of being your one true love. That is if you’d still want to love a dork like me who couldn’t figure you out till now. Your letters have created a change in me; they’ve started a fire in my heart that I can’t control any longer. At first, it was a spark, then a steady flame, and now Y/N? Well, I don’t even think a typhoon could smother out the wildfire that explodes when I think about how perfect you are, and how I don’t deserve you. There’s so much more I want to tell you, but I think you deserve a better explanation than a letter that’s practically a steaming pile of crap in comparison to your masterpieces. Will you let me explain? I hope you will Y/N.

Signed,

Your hopelessly romantic Romeo

Peter

You knew this was good news. Hell, this was AMAZING news! But you couldn’t help but shake when you lifted your eyes from the paper. When you did, your world seemed to stop in motion and everything froze.

Peter stood only a couple of feet away from you, watching you read the letter with the goofiest most adorable smile that you thought you could even see on this planet. Your hands dropped to your side as he took a couple of steps closer to you. Your face was about as red as the color on his spidey suit at this point. You couldn’t help but look down in embarrassment.

“Hey, hey!!” Peter chuckled taking you gently by the shoulders when he saw your frown. “What’s wrong D-did I do a bad job??” He saw your tears drop onto your shoes and bit his lip pulling you into a quick embrace. “Y/N…?” He asked feeling his heart jump, stop and burn all at once.

“I didn’t think you’d ever find me…” You whispered the tears hot on your cheeks. “Yeah,” Peter tried not to laugh. “I’m sorry it took so long, you’d think a so-called genius could have pieced it together sooner right?” He tapped his forehead against yours and you finally got the courage to look at him. You thought that his eyes were warm enough to melt a block of ice.

“It’s not that…” you smiled softly. “I didn’t think you’d necessarily want to find me…” you explained. “I mean I’m not that noticeable, I’m quiet, I can’t even speak to you without having a mini heart attack,”

“Y/N, I don’t care about any of that,” He answered taking a strand of your hair pushing it behind your ear. “You’re shyness, your quietness, it’s all in our personality and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” He smiled his hands sliding from your back to your hands. “I meant everything I said in those letters Y/N, I don’t want you to just be my Juliet.” Your heart nearly stopped and your eyes searched his fearful of his next response. “ I want you to be my Y/N, totally and completely with every quirk that you have.”

He took a moment to laugh to himself. “And let’s not forget that I’m no angel either, I think I’m about as awkward as they come,” You sighed softly letting your head rest on his chest now. Your heart was a glow and your spirits were so high you thought that it could reach satellites. Everything felt perfect, for a moment you expected credits to roll.

“So,” Peter said drawing you out of your thoughts. “How do you feel about Thai?” He said wrapping one arm around you as you walked together down the hall. You felt your hand touch his as you looked up at him. “I think that sounds good,” You smiled. Ned and Eve passed you both by casually as you walked and exchanged knowing glances. They gave each other high fives before calling out to you.

“Hey, Romeo and Juliet!!” Eve snorted nudging Ned’s side. “Get a room you too!” Ned smirked.

You couldn’t help but smile. You looked down at the letter in your other hand again blushing slightly. “Hey, Peter?”

“Hmm?”

“Did my letters make you this flustered?” You asked still showing him the letter. Peter laughed loudly having to stop mid-walk altogether in order to compose himself again. He turned to you his cheeks rosy from laughter and his feelings for you.

“Y/N, you have no idea,”

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Operation Juliet Tag

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #marvel x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #minnie marvel makes a fic #spider man: homecoming #fanfic #fanfiction #marvel imagine

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 6 years

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Full Metal Alchemist Netflix!!! (spoilers ahead)

okay so yeah I’m not sure how they are gonna condense FMA into a successful movie and while there are probably going to be a lot of missing people/plotlines I am so psyched I don’t even care that. I’m just gonna enjoy the good stuff and shrug at the rest. here goes nothing:

-me, during the opening scene: *fully expecting the Hogwarts Express to appear any second, with a flying Ford Anglia in its wake*

-this is a very crisply colored film so far and I love it

-MY BBY BOYS!!! HUGGING THEIR MOM!!! *valiantly tries not to cry already*

-yeah no I’m crying already

-dark and gloomy funeral OMG Ed and Al are holding hands to support each other I CAN’T

-LIL ALCHEMISTS AT WORK!

-I’m happy to see that Edward Elric is just as outrageously fashionable as always, that red coat is on POINT

-Ed stop getting your butt kicked and do some alchemy

-oh yeah, Ed proceeds to perform alchemy without a circle and takes out...whatever those alchemy critters are AND THERE IS AL MY SON THE SOUL IN THE SUIT OF ARMOR

-lol Ed seems way more chill than he is in the manga/anime, I mean he hasn’t flipped out about being short yet. Still he is v. Enthusiastic and Quite Cute

-ED YOU ABSOLUTE dORK

-I CAN’T WITH HIM AND NEITHER CAN POOR AL LOL

-WOOOOOHOOO ROY MUSTANG AND RIZA HAWKEYE IN THE HOUSE

-WHO ARE YOU CALLING PUNY ok there is the Ed we all know and love

-wow the Homunculi look pretty accurate, which means Gluttony is extra ugh

-ok but seriously my favorite thing is how people assume that Al is the full metal alchemist because he is...all metal. And Al is like no really. not me

-AWWW my brother may be small but he has a big heart

-So I’m not sure why Winry isn’t a blonde but she is still very cute

-ED IS SO PASSIONATE AND SAD WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT GETTING AL’S BODY BACK :( and when he says he would do anything for Al and the camera focuses on Riza who looks like she could very well be saying I understand I would do anything for Mustang

-MAES HUGHES!!!! I AM SO HAPPY AND SAD RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE ED IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND THEY SMILE AND HUGHES IS A GOOD FRIEND AND dAMN IT I’M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH HIM DIE ALL OVER AGAIN WHAT THE HECK

-Ed is really freaking cute

-Winry scolding Ed about taking care of his metal arm and Ed apologizing I’M EXPLODING WITH HAPPY FLUTTERBYS AND RAINBOWS--AND SO IS MAES HUGHES LOOK AT THE SHIPPER ON DECK GRINNING

-wHERE IS BBY ELICIA AND WHY HASN’T HUGHES DRIVEN PEOPLE TO DISTRACTION WITH HIS PROUD PAPA ROUTINE??!

-oh she isn’t born yet... :/

-I have never been able to decide which is sadder, Al never being able to sleep and feeling alone or Ed having nightmares about what happened and feeling guilty

-that is a BEAUTIFUL dog and NINA IS SO CUTE AAHHH MY HEART IS GONNA BREAK LATER

-AL PLAYING WITH NINA OH MY HEART

-(tbh some of this plot is getting tangled up in my head, like is that how it went in the anime I don’t remember)

-*cries everytime Nina is onscreen* AL AND WINRY PLAYING WITH HER *cries harder*

-there’s that Hogwart’s Express again

-Winry: you were Nina’s favorite

Ed, proudly: ah little kids like me

Winry: yeah because you are tiny

THE BETRAYAL

-ED X WINRY OTP THEY ARE THE CUTEST

-I kind of adore the aesthetics of this movie. I want Winry’s dress

-hey Dr. Marcoh. Um bye Dr. Marcoh

-NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO NINA!!! WHYYY

-F*** YOU MR. TUCKER

-WHY ARE THERE BIRDS CHIRPING IN THE BACKGROUND THIS SCENE IS A TRAGEDY

-FURIOUS ED IS FURIOUS THERE IS MY HOT-TEMPERED GOOD-HEARTED SON

-AL: SHUT UP OR I’LL BE THE ONE TO LOSE CONTROL

-play with me? *cries forever and ever* my heart

-oh come on don’t show me Nina’s ball lying there alone never to be played with again

-tired mussy-haired Ed = the cutest

-MAES HUGHES YOU ARE TOO SWEET *CRIES FOREVER*

-Oh hi Lieutenant Ross! (I just realized there are a LOT of people who don’t appear to be in this)

-YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS AAHHH HUGHES AND ROSS WORKING TO HELP ED AND HUGHES WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER AND OH DRAT IT I CAN’T STAND TO SEE WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN SOON

-ED IS ALL SAD AND UPSET TILL HE SEES THAT AL IS DEPRESSED AND THEN HE TRIES TO CHEER UP HIS LIL BRO, EXCEPT AL WORRIES ALL HIS MEMORIES ARE FALSE AND AND

“TRUST ME”

“hOW CAN I TRUST ANYTHING, I’M HOLLOW!!!”

BROTHER FEELS AND ANGST WAIT NO AL OF COURSE ED IS YOUR BROTHER STOP FIGHTING :(

Al, when Ed is angrily punching him with his human fist: BROTHER USE YOUR RIGHT HAND YOU’LL INJURE YOUR LEFT HAND *cries* HE STILL CARES ABOUT HIM

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH (THANKS WINRY)

-”BROTHER IT HURTS” *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID* *FLINGS SELF INTO THE SUN

-ED’S HEAD BUMP AGAINST AL’S ARMOR *FLINGS SELF INTO THE SUN aGAIN*

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAES HUGHES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM NOT READY FOR THIS NOOOOOO WHYYYYYYYY

NOT THE PHONEBOOTH

NOT THE PHOTO

NOT--ROY??? (sidenote: if they’re gonna make it look like Roy did it why even introduce Maria Ross earlier?)

IN CONCLUSION I HATE EVERYTHING

-lies I’m not done yet I can go on I can make it through the rest of the movie

-NVM I CAN’T ED LOOKS SO BROKEN

..................*SIGHS*

-okay not sure where they are going with the story from here on out given them blaming Mustang but I am here for Riza Hawkeye and Ed working together to escape

-I AM CONFUSED

-ok is that real Roy or fake Roy ok this has to be fake Roy? Because why would real Roy want it to look like he is killing loyal soldiers? oh waiit wait WHAAAAAAATT

IT’S FAKE ROSS I GET IT THEY JUST SWITCHED A LOT OF THINGS AROUND

THERE IS A LOT MISSING FROM THE MOVIE

-CAN WE NOT KEEP SHOWING HUGHES’ DEATH OVER AND OVER I FREAKING CANNOT HANDLE THIS WHYYYY I’M CRYING

-UMMMM GLUTTONY IS FRICKING WEIRD (lol if Emma does her sassy recap I can’t wait to see her reaction to him)

-OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW LUST SAYS ROY HAS A WEAK SPOT RIGHT AFTER HE STEPS IN FRONT OF RIZA TO PROTECT HER AND GETS INJURED AND WHILE SHE IS SAYING THIS RIZA IS SUPPORTING HIM IN HER ARMS OKAY THANKS

OTP RIGHT THERE MATES OTP

-OH okay Tucker has Al and Winry and I don’t even know what is happening anymore

-THERE IS LITERALLY SO MUCH MISSING FROM THIS. I CAN’T BLAME THEM BECAUSE HOW DO YOU REALLY MOVIE AN ANIME BUT STILL

-what...what does Tucker want again?

-if Colonel Roy Mustang doesn’t get to destroy Lust like the badass he is then WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT

-*gets distracted from my mutterings because ROYAI*

-I’m...still not exactly sure is going on like General Hakura what? but ROY IS LEANING ON RIZA FOR SUPPORT AND THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

-FIVE MINUTES LATER AND ROYAI STILL HANGING ON TO EACH OTHER

-OKAY THESE WEIRD GUMMY CREATURES ARE HIGHLY DISTURBING

-WHERE DID ENVY AND GLUTTONY GO?

-I AM V. CONFUSED

-goodbye Hakura you won’t be missed

-ah there is Envy

-actually Gluttony really didn’t need to show up again like ew

-RIZA NOT WANTING TO LEAVE ROY’S SIDE BUT FOLLOWING HIS ORDERS

-okay but why was Al all unconscious before and how did he wake up I missed that

-OH YEAH ALPHONSE PERFORMING ALCHEMY WITHOUT A TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE (look I realize it isn’t a good thing necessarily but it is very cool)

-wait Envy better not be dead just like that because um I really love how everything goes down in the anime

-BUT AT LEAST IT LOOKS LIKE MUSTANG’S GONNA DESTROY LUST

-*SHRIEKING* RIZA WAS GIVING OUT ORDERS LIKE A BADASS BUT HESITATES JUST A SECOND WHEN SHE SEES ROY’S BLOOD ON HER HAND AAAAAAAHHHH THEN SHE GETS BACK TO WORK AAAAAHHHH OTP OTP OTP

-OKAY THIS IS ALL A MESS STORY-WISE BUT I GOTTA FIND THE BRIGHT SPOTS SO ED SAVES ROY AND AL SAVES THEM BOTH AND ROY THROWING LUST’S WORDS BACK AT HER, PRETTY RAD

-AL PROTECTING THE OTHERS WITH HIS ARMOR BODY

-wait Gluttony is still alive...”Lust is dead” apparently he’s not too cut up about Envy though

-ALPHONSE!!! MY HEART :( POOR ED :( AL YOU SWEETHEART “IF IT’S AT THE PRICE OF A LIFE, I’D RATHER STAY LIKE THIS”

-I’M SORRY I’M CRYING OVER HERE CRYING OVER ED TELLING AL HIS BODY HAS GROWN AND AL IS TALLER THAN ED AND LOOK THE BROTP IN THE ANIME IS MY FAVE THING EVER AND IT WAS NOT AS PRESENT IN THE MOVIE AS I WANTED BUT THE MOMENTS WHERE IT IS REALLY GET ME

-ROYAI ROYAI JUST HUG HIM GIRL OH GOSH THE LOOK BETWEEN THE TWO

-”get promoted and expose the truth behind the mystery” look is the Fuhrer a thing, like Greed never showed up, if they are doing a sequel they have stuff to work with but it so far off the original storyline at this point

-ED AND AL AND WINRY ARE THE CUTEST

-BYE BYE HOGWART’S EXPRESS

(BTW IF WE ARE DIVERTING FROM CANON WHY COULDN’T WE GET TO ACTUALLY SEE A ROYAI WEDDING?? ?)

#fma netflix #full metal alchemist #edward and alphonse elric #elric bros #royai #in conclusion it wasn't the greatest movie but I enjoyed it a good bit anyway #ed was very cute even if he wasn't as spazzy as he is in the anime #i really wanted to see more of alphonse and the brotp interactions #i cry every day over maes hughes #an enjoyable movie even if it was rather derailed by the end plot-wise #oh wait i just saw the stinger is envy alive still?#i am so confused #i am all about the royai though

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primvera · 6 years

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My HoriKane Headcanon (?)

Yeah, I’ve started the rabbit hole and fallen into TouRabu hell lately (games and anime series), I really need to write down some headcanon about my OTP (maybe soon I will write down some oneshot/drabble, do not know yet, I need more historical information about these two beautiful swords, these cutiepies). I really like Katsugeki but more I watch about Tourabu and Horikane and I noticed that Katsugeki!Horikane is a little OOC (Kane has period in that anime from ep 2 till ep 13) maybe, but I really like the way they portraied these two ANGST YAS THANK U UFOTABLE LAST EPISODE APART HANAMARU WAS TOO HAPPY. Soooo, I began to think about something (Disclaimer: maybe these hc are far to obvious but I needed to write down something and sorry for my English italian is my first language)

Since Horikawa (btw how the fuck is he strong in the game?! He’s like terminator, stealing all MVP point to the cool and strong Kane-san) is older than Kane-san, I imagine that Kane’s attitude of being the cool one is kinda sort of showing Hori his value but he fails everytime and Hori saves the day in the citadel to make him sorta proud of his junior do not need this bc Horimama is so proud of his Kane-san.

Imagine the first time Kane and Hori met at the Citadel. Hori is so happy that the second he sees Kane’s figure he literally throw himself on him and hugs him before Kane manage open his mouth to speak. He hugs him so tight and tears stream down his cheecks. Kane hugs him back, really happy that the first thing he saw when he became a Touken Danshi is his partner he also is crying and Okitagumi are there to witness and later make fun of Izumi

He doesn’t know about Hori being missing in the ocean, he eventually finds out (maybe Yasu? Kasen? Nah, Manba-chan is more likely), Kane becomes super attentive about his partner (well, the fluff is needed sometimes) and he feels a little guilty bc he returned in Hijikata’s hometown brought by Tetsunosuke to became a memento. Horikawa notices this and he dosen’t tell anything to him, a little bit bc he enjoys Kane being a dork and a obvious one, a little more bc he really missed Kane and so he wants to spend every minute in the citadel with him.

Kane is a little jealous of the Kunihiro bros. They literally steal his waifu from him. But he knows that family is important. Horikawa notices his jealousy and likes to tease him about this. (yeah Hori is a little bitch but we love him right?)

If Kane or Hori get injured, both of them stay at the other one side till the recovery is complete. Kane is fucking worried when Hori get damaged, like *mom mode on* but he is really clumsy and in the end he fuck up everything (he is the youngest sword after all).

On the battlefield they are the strongest uchigata/wakizashi couple, Kane and Hori are equally strong. Their double sword attack is something that every new sword that enters their part wish to see since their teamwork is so famous.

I really want to write down a one-shot where Kane’s hair get cut by an enemy or by a random samurai that exchange Kane for a Shinsengumi member during the Bakumatsu period. Maybe Kane get caught and to humiliate him they cut off his fabulous dark long hair I wish I had his hair gosh. The only long bangs standing is the little braid on his right side (the one that Hori makes everytime he goes on a mission, i mean COME ON IT MUST BE HIM THAT BRAID THAT ONE). Btw, Shinsengumi Fam + Mutsu (MutsuIzu is my brotp) comes to rescue the pretty princess him and bring him back to the citadel. Now here I imagine Kane to be a little shocked (he’s a sword and he knows about the horror and the violence of the war but he’s become human just recently so...) and to fake his shock, but Hori knows him to well (they’re together since Kane’s birth afterall) and try to make him to puor out his feelings, really fluffy moments to follow ofc. So ANGST WITH HAPPY ENDING EVERYONE! (do not tell me I am an horrible person LOL). Guilty pleasure bc short-haired!Kane-san is so fucking hot JESUS CHRIST. This fanart (which is not mine so credit to the artist, really beautiful, I really love it) is where all started. Thanks to this, my love Kane-san has exploded and things escaleted quickly XD (PS: If someone has a better idea on how Kane’s hair gets cut off plz feel free to steal his hc and write down some angsty fanfic about this plz)

Hori is the only one that make Kane do what he want. He knows his soft spot and weakness and more important he know how to fuck him in every sense

Howl’s Moving Castle Au! where Hori is Sophie and Howl is Kane. Yagen is a sassy Markl (thanks to @shinemizuki for Yagen’s role in this au) and Mutsu...well, irdk yet.. Suliman’s dog maybe LOL

For tonight, it’s all folks!

See you next fangirl freak out post :*

#touken ranbu #tourabu #horikane #izuminokami kanesada #horikawa kunihiro #shinsengumi family #these two will be the end of me #i need more horikane in hanamaru s2 #i hope to see also some Kanesada bros moments #hijikatagumi

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labyrinth-of-headcanons · 7 years

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Yellow Flicker Beat

Summary: Ithnan had this one thing left to do. And he did it, but the past never stopped haunting him until the end.

Song: Lorde - Yellow Flicker Beat

A/N: Ah, I finally finished writing something for a friend. Feels good btw. I am sorry for the other people I missed out writing something for, but today is @ithnanss birthday and I just really wanted to do something for my friend, who I found through magi and we just kinda clicked! I am so grateful to be able to discuss the REALLY IMPORTANT TOPICS OF THIS FANDOM and also some of the unimportant ones with you. Thanks for writing me on a whim and then staying to talk to me >-< Also thank you for listening to my stupid input and answering the random questions I sometimes have lol. Really glad I have you to rant and cry together, so today I have something for you, which is a lot of things, especially rushed, unprofessional and a bit stupid, but when I asked you for your favorite songs the idea instantly popped into my head. So here I have a Songfic for you, I hope you can enjoy it, even thought it’s kind of based on your desire for more Ithan and my sudden motivation because of the song. Yeah. Happy Birthday, I hope you get to have a lot of cake and presents and that we can have more conversations in the future!

Writing Notes: This is an alternative happening of the night of the Mahrajan, not following the canon happenings at first, trying to capture a bit more of the inner conflict of Ithnan, who sadly didn’t get the attention he should have had. So I changed that, including feels and laughable English. But I think everyone is used to this by now. So please enjoy!

I’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm And the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me I move through town, I’m quiet like a fight And my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie it

Looking down onto the festivities, Ithnan let out an unappreciative sigh. They were much too happy, much too exited in their little coming together. His pale skin being enlighten for a split second, he brushed some loose strands out of his face, only to put on his checker mask, the moonlight dancing over the golden parts, before being hid away by big, dark clouds. Soon enough there was no natural light coming from the sky anymore and when he pulled up the white mask, he too, wasn’t recognizable anymore. All there was left were the electric tension and the patient growling of the sky, keeping itself low as to not draw all the attention to it right away.

He was way too high up in the sky, but he figured they must have noticed it nevertheless, as the small ant-like people seemingly stored away the stalls and walked away from the festival. They didn’t knew what was coming for them, who was coming for them and yet they were cautious. If they would know the truth like he did, if they had seen it, would they still go to such a length of preparing themselves for the storm? Halting his thoughts he shook his head. There was no time for resentment, he had to concentrate.

Lowering his body down - even the great magician had to move out of the thunder’s way -, he set foot on the ground, hiding away in one of Sindria’s countless side streets, only some tiny little mouses witnessing his presence before scattering into their holes and niches.

The tension rose inside of him, the magoi he stored in his veins and muscles started to build up energy, preparing itself for it’s purpose, and soon enough it would be set free. Soon, but not right now. If it wasn’t for that reason, it would almost have been exciting to use his magic. But everything he enjoyed now came with a price. Even though he had paid for his own will long time ago, it still suffocated him even now. With every step he took and with every blink of his eyes he felt the price lacing itself around his neck, getting tighter and tighter, loosing up for a split second before cutting into his mind again.

People talk to me, but nothing ever hits home People talk to me, and all the voices just burn holes I’m done with it

Her voice in his head as he watched the flocks of humans returning to their homes, in a hectic as to not get wet from the uprising rain, but they were still laughing and joking around. How long had it been since he had laughed. Or joked around with his friends, fought alongside them. When was the last time he had felt alive, Ithnan wondered. Not even Arba’s words reached him anymore. Her believe and her will were nothing, empty words which he didn’t let into his conscience anymore and if he ever did, he just wanted to drown the memories, the promises and the actions, which still haunted him in his dreams, in his thoughts and in his heart.

But the thing right in front of him, well, he had to finish this. And if it was the last thing he did, at least it would stop the never ending war inside of him. Right?

This is the start of how it all ever ends They used to shout my name, now they whisper it I’m speeding up and this is the Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart We’re at the start, the colors disappear I never watch the stars, there’s so much down here So I just try to keep up with them Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart

Smooth, almost gentle, were his steps. They had to be, if he didn’t want to get hurt by his own thunderbolts, crashing down onto the streets of Sindria. The sound of the occasional screams echoing in his ears, as Ithnan moved forward, channeling his body through the masses of running people. There was panic, chaos even. If not for the few dedicated generals, who were directing their citizens to safety, everyone would be lost in thunder and burning wood.

Ironic, Ithnan thought. Quite a few years ago it was he who would try to sort the chaos, rather than causing it. Now there was no one who would make him feel addressed, not even his name feeling like it belonged on the body he owned now. Still their faces made him remember the ones of his friends and comrades. No matter where he went and how much time passed, people would never change.

Picking up speed he clawed his way forward, the movements of his head becoming more and more hectic. By now they must have noticed his strange look, maybe even the magoi rushing out of him as more and more bolts of lightning formed on the dark sky. Ithnan realized how he got caught up in his thoughts again, as he had lost his aim in the bulks of people. He had to find the prince, quick. And especially without getting caught up again in his own misery or by the eyes of his enemies.

After one more shook of thunder, the magician lifted his head. In the distance he thought to have made out the person of desire, right when another dazzling bolt lit up the area, crashing down onto one stand, exploding and setting it aflame in seconds.

For a moment he felt anger boiling up in him, as he realized how he hadn’t calculated the lightness of his actions, literally. No one should have been able to see anything and yet, the tip of the spear was placed perfectly at his throat. Not surprising, Hakuryuu had trained himself quite admirably after all, Ithnan was barely able to take a step back, otherwise that deadliness would have meant his demise. Suddenly neither of them were bothered by the strike of lightning crashing down near them, leaving a shattering sound in their minds and blinding their eyes.

There it was again, that feeling of excitement rushing through his veins. And this time only, he let the smile, coming with it, creep onto his face.

I dream all year, but they’re not the sweet kinds And the shivers move down my shoulder blades in double time

Not even the sound of thunder echoed in his head anymore. It was quiet. Some would have said too quiet, but for Ithnan it was peaceful. His distraction had succeeded, even with the small incident that would have made for a big regret. But the prince was naive and the short moment of blindness was enough time to go and get into contact with him. It was almost too easy, the prince being already like a puppet with his fake limps.

Ithnan thought about himself as the puppeteer, as he floated in the nothingness of the space he head created for his personal use, lifting and sinking his fingers as if they had strings attached. Of course he was pleased, now that his plan succeeded. How could he not be? By now Solomon would have patted his shoulder, telling him how reliable he was.

Opening his eyes, Ithnan looked into the endless pit of darkness around him, fixating no specific point as he condemned himself for this thought. It’s not like he needed this recognition. It’s not like he wanted it either. Just why could he not stop himself from thinking about these things. These persons which no longer were with him. Why did they always come back, haunting him, making him feel lonely all of a sudden and leaving him trembling as they grew more, images and faces – terrible faces, burnt and pained – showing up in front of his inner eye. Suddenly this space was no longer comfortable. The suffocating feeling returned as he began to shake, heat rising and sinking constantly, fear and agony feeding away on him.

And now people talk to me I’m slipping out of reach now People talk to me, and all their faces blur But I got my fingers laced together and I made a little prison And I’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me I’m done with it

Ithnan could barely hear Sinbad. Through the blurry vision he thought he saw the king’s mouth moving, but maybe that was just his imagination too.

Dying was not nice, he thought. Ithnan always believed it would be nice, more peaceful as his life until now. But it was disappointing to find out that it wasn’t. He felt a stinging pain in his back, his feet were barely sensible anymore and maybe it was the darkening magoi inside of him, but something appeared to be eating away his whole existence. It was a terrifying feeling at best. As if it wasn’t enough that he soon had to face another terrible person, no, before that he had to bear with the rest of his pitiful existence and the painful suffering. He knew what was coming for him and he knew it was himself who chose this ending. Hate was the last thing he consciously felt. Hate for all the people who made him into what he was, who manipulated him into doing these things and hate for himself, because if anything, he was the most idiotic of them all.

Coughing, his vocal cords wouldn’t make a sound anymore. As he breathed in for the last time, a certain lightness coming over him, Ithnan could hear himself talking in his head for the last time:

„I forgive you.“

Where he found himself, there was no pain. There was no sound, no breathing, no feeling and no regret. It was all and it was nothing, the beginning and the end. His light, colorful soul got no judgement and it neither felt sad nor happy. If anything it felt empty, but in a pleasant way.

While there were parts of him shattered on the world, when Sinbad crushed that little doll of his, Ithnan no longer felt anything of them. And it was right this way. For once he was content with things not going his way, suddenly everything he did was so meaningless. Funny, even.

The spirit next to him put a hand on his shoulder, it was saying something. The words were not understandable but Ithnan knew what it wanted. It was time to move on, they couldn’t stay at one place, they had to go with the flow. And then Ithnan opened what would have been his mouth, if not for the uncoordinated shape of his body, telling the other souls about his life on the world. Nothing he did was terrible, nothing was good either. But they listened intently and they asked things, made him tell more, review every detail there was. They told him that they were glad he was finally with them.

And as the sun rose over the ocean, dipping the flow of the rukh in the colors of its rays, letting them shimmer in all the red, orange, yellow tones it sent out, which were caught up in their translucent bodies, Ithnan told them just how glad he was, to be finally with them again.

And this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat Sparking up my heart And this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat

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