#but it's not a healthy habit and it's something people can and should try to break out of

[historia-vitae-magistras]

A lightee ask than usual but do you have any food or eating habit thoughts?

Ooohooohh, I did a whole ass seminar on the history of food. Failed it because I almost bled to death but I got to keep all the material! I've got.... a lot of thoughts and feelings about food culture. Too goddamn many, tbh. This got really long so I'll have to do a part two for other characters if wanted but lol enjoy.

Alfred:

 —Actually pretty gourmet little shit when he's got time and effort. He's made food Maria loves so often she has to give up on pretending she didn't enjoy it because fucking hell, he makes good chilaquiles after they've been drinking and fucking. There is, however, a non-zero chance he hasn't eaten a vegetable since the Nixon administration.

 —With that combustion engine metabolism, he's also perpetually hungry, so he eats whatever is around him. His guts do not like this, especially when it's a lot of dairy.

 —He has that kind of lactose intolerance that's tied to his health and stress, so if he's been particularly freaked out lately, he'll remind the world of his nuclear arsenal when he's got to use the toilet after that triple cheeseburger with a side of deep-fried cheese curds.

 —He's a stress eater too. He eats every negative emotion he's ever had especially when he's trying not to binge drink or do drugs.

 —He’s exceptionally food-motivated. They didn’t call one of his first major historical eras ‘the starving time’ without reason. He has preferences, but food is also food, and he’ll genuinely enjoy it in most forms as long as it's not rotten or otherwise godawful. Cowboy coffee and beans for ten days straight, and he will genuinely be the only man on that cow trail not sick of it by the end.

 —This also goes into why he’s so generous with food. He’s big on homemade food. He’ll make a whole big ass batch of like some sort of mac and cheese, and all the neighbours will get a big ol’ bowl of it with an ‘oh just return the Tupperware whenever,’ and it will genuinely be one of the best things they’ve ever eaten in their lives. Europeans recoil in horror, but our portion sizes are almost never single servings. It’s a generosity and hospitality practice except drinks. He really will down like a 2 liter of Slurpee in a single sitting.

 —He doesn’t mind eating alone. Actually prefers it sometimes. He loves eating in his car. American frontier culture, especially mountain men, had an often hyper-individualized, almost mythic culture of spending long periods alone in the woods and not being very sociable; thus a lot of situations where single servings were a thing, eating alone in quiet without something to do can be a real goddamn luxury.

 —He’s a really big protein guy with his metabolism. Sometimes exists on protein shakes but is more often a beef or barbeque or ham or alligator jerky. And a somewhat chunky Alfred is a healthy Alfred. A perfectly cut no flab Alfred is an Alfred who might be severely dehydrated and on several kinds of uppers.

 —He has better tastes than Arthur who didn't really realize food was supposed to taste good until like ten years ago but his combinations can be equally wild and unappetizing as they are batshit tasty.

—He loves spicy food. He's got so many opinions about hot sauces.

—He’s always hungry. If he isn’t hungry or turns down food, its genuinely a bad sign. If he turns down anything or just is just picking at it his food alarm bells should be sounding. He’s either about to declare war or puke all over the table or keel over dead. Peckish or food coma is his default state. Like if he was a smaller guy someone would say he’s got a binge disorder but he’s tall and beefy so he’s pretty okay.

 —Incredibly adventurous eater too. People will assume since there’s that old school culture of Anglo-American who eats the same 7 meals every week and might keel over dead if the meatloaf is slightly different he’ll be a bit hard to please but then he’s absolutely charmed by everything from Korean kimchi to Lithuanian Lašiniai.

 —He loves anyone who feeds him, just got to be a bit careful because he’s got surprisingly delicate stomach for the world superpower.

 —That American obsession with authencity means he’s surprisingly good at remembering people’s food culture or eating norms. He figured out chopsticks in ten seconds and quickly picked up the cues and manners of eating in any given culture. Still struggles with modulating his voice and personality, so he can often come across as rude, but he's so excited to do so. It's almost frustrating how happy he is to try and adapt to people around him and how happy he can be to fit in.

Matt:

 —He's a very good cook when he's putting in effort for other people, but he's not really like Alfred, who he'll make a whole ass meal for one just to relax on a Sunday.

 —He does tend to eat more vegetables than Alfred, but only because his northern vitamin deficiency has him binging them when he can afford them or they're available during the summer.

  —He can be weirdly picky on his own, but no one ever really needs to ask about his favourite food or how he likes anything because he always just goes with the flow around other people. “Just get me whatever you’re getting.” comes out of his mouth often.

 —There's a lot of sour cream/crema and yoghurt/coconut milk involved when he eats Mexican or Indian food for as much as he loves it.

 —Katya was singlehandedly responsible for his ability to maintain a normal weight during the 20th century by adding rye bread and perogies/vyrenki to his diet. He craves mushroom-umami flavours when he misses her, which is most of the time.

 —When he’s normal and eating the Anglo-North American diet, but he isn’t always eating it, he gets some strong sugar cravings, especially when he’s west of Manitoba. He’s as fond of birch syrup as a flavour as he is maple; there’s just less production. But the kind of deprivation he got and his own tendencies to not eat sometimes cause white sugar to just straight-up burns.

 —There's very much something of François to Matt's dietary habits, but less in his personal tastes and more in that he might be more sensitive to flavours. He has that kind of discerning and slightly oversensitive palate, but he’s a shitty perpetually broke frontier settler colony. He knows better/feels too guilty/is too embarrassed of himself to really indulge it.

 —He kept too much of his peasant communalism in his eating habits. Where Anglo-American communities did have a lot of cooperation, communal eating was a special occasion. The norm was based on the individual household. In contrast, French Canadian habitants still technically lived on medieval land plots and owed labour to a lord while also having a culture of seasonal male work, so Matt grew up used to communal ovens and eating most of his meals around others. Later, in Arthur’s jurisdiction, it was usually the same. He got a plate of whatever he was given, and it wasn’t something he had ever had to initiate himself.

 —Partially, he's sometimes exceptionally bad at eating when he has to choose to do it himself. Especially since the Americanization of the food culture took hold in the '80s and '90s. Whereas Alfred is food motivated from going without when he was little, Matt learned how to block out physical sensation until he collapsed because it was rare that someone, including himself, cared about what kind of state he was in. He just doesn’t eat at all when he’s stressed or anxious. And now it's his sole responsibility to do so as there aren’t the same community structures. He has a lot of Alfred’s abundance now, all the brunch and BBQ places anyone could ask for, but it hasn’t meshed with his eating habits. His people gave up so much of their communal eating in exchange for various choices and then wondered why they were so lonely. So he’ll just microwave a potato or a packet of Kraft dinner a day for a week straight and wonder why he feels dead because, technically, he did eat something. It’s seriously a miracle he got as tall as he did.

 —Feed him nothing but hardtack for three years, and he won't complain until he's dropped dead of scurvy. If Arthur puts some sort of godforsaken mixture of plum sauce or gin-infused spag bol in front of him, he’ll compliment it before he disassociates to get at least some of it down.

#the ask box || probis pateo #hws canada #hws america #meatsack mechanics || the sociology and biology of nations #matthew || my country is winter #alfred || o beautiful for spacious skies

[theambitiouswoman]

Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself

What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?

What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?

What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?

Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?

How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?

Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?

How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?

Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?

Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?

Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?

Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?

Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?

How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?

Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?

Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?

Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?

Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?

What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?

Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?

Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?

Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?

Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?

Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?

Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?

Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?

Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?

Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?

Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?

Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?

Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?

Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?

Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?

Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?

Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?

Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?

Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?

Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?

Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?

Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?

Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?

Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?

Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?

Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?

Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?

Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?

Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?

Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?

Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?

Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?

Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?

Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?

Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?

Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?

Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?

Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?

Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?

Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?

Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?

Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?

#personal improvement #personal growth #personal development #self worth #selfhelp #self improvement #self love #self care #journal #level up journey #positive mindset #success mindset #high value mindset #self help #self esteem #self growth #motivationalquotes #motivating quotes

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

#i know i sound annoying and woke but this is my blog and i can post whatever i want :3 #theres so much more to say but this is long enough as it is #no ones gonna read this anyway #gay #queer issues #fatphobia #cw ed mention

[wovenintosilk]

Stubborn

Received a request through a reblog for something related to Miguel's fangs. It's not exactly focused on them but they're definitely part of it!

No Content Warnings

GN!Reader

Word Count: 1100

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

“Get your fingers away from my mouth. Are you a child?”

You pouted and withdrew your hand, thwarted in your attempts to sneakily lift the corner of your boyfriend’s lip. “I want to see them,” you defended. “They’re so nice to look.”

“If you’re that bored, I will find you something more productive to do,” he reminded you and twisted his face further from your reach. “I’m not in the habit of allowing people to lounge around my workspace for the fun of it.”

“Can my something productive be getting you to smile?”

“Absolutely not.”

You sighed and sank further into your chair, head tilted back to the ceiling you stared at far too much. “You said you would be finished with this by now.”

“It was a possibility but it required far more attention than I expected. It won’t be much longer.”

Miguel’s desire to be busy never surprised you. From the day you’d met him to the day you kissed him for the first time, you always understood why he obsessed in the way he did. It didn’t hurt you but you worried – more about his own health than anything else.

When was the last time he’d even eaten?

“You know, I actually do have a job to get done,” you said. “I’ll be back soon. Try not to get too big of a headache by scowling at that screen.”

“I know.”

The grumbled words didn’t help your concerns. You cast a glance over your shoulder in his direction. The harsh artificial lighting of his office highlighted how he hunched over his work, shone off his suit in a piercing way.

It really couldn’t be good for him to stand like that.

Your first stop took you over an hour to reach and you still didn’t doubt for one second that Miguel would still be working on your return. Though he cared little about food quality lately, you insisted on getting him something healthy and what you knew he would enjoy.

If it took you ages to find, you didn’t mind too much. You knew it wouldn’t impact on your plans going forward.

Around the side of Miguel’s office, a few wires connected just behind a broken section of the wall. You had to hold your breath to squeeze half into it in order to reach them.

“This is a very bad idea.”

You jumped, hit your head against the wall in your startle, and groaned in the unexpected pain. Lyla watched with a humoured smirk from where she’d appeared, projected out of your personal watch.

“It’ll be fine,” you said. “He won’t even know it was me.”

“He will,” she corrected. “But that’s not what I’m worried about. I know you can handle Miguel yourself but I think you shouldn’t play with electricity.”

“When you asked me to get him to take a break, you should have known I’d need to resort to some extreme measures.”

She sighed and waved a hand for you to continue. You squeezed your way further in so you could reach the wire that fed his office and a few of the surrounding halls. Hobie showed you it wouldn’t turn off the rest of the complex when he did it last time as a joke.

“I’ve already backed up everything he’s working on. If he throws you out, I take no responsibility for it.”

You grinned cut the wire. Everything plummeted into darkness around you, computers shut off loudly and the ever-present hum stopped. You grinned proudly and dropped your cutter back into its space before you headed to the office.

You realised one of the main problems when you walked through the doors and spotted him on his platform. The one that wouldn’t move now without electricity.

“Wow,” you said loudly. “Can you believe the timing of this?”

He turned slowly. The silence stretched thickly between you, your smile a match for his glare. Lyla was right, he knew exactly what had happened.

“Either you have to come down here or find a way to get me up there,” you called. “Because I can’t reach you otherwise.”

You held up the food right as a bright web attached to your chest. It pulled you forward and lifted you into the air as though you weighed nothing. It might not be the first time it had happened to you but you’d never really get used to the sensation of being dragged around.

He steadied you when you landed, his hand rested on your arm until you gained your balance back. His lip curled up ever so slightly as he waited.

“I brought food,” you said and sat down in your chair.

“What did you do?”

“Went a ridiculous distance to get this for you,” you noted. “Do you know how far this place is? And then I got back and the power disappeared. Had to walk here in the dark.”

“Do you know how busy I was? How much you may have gotten lost?”

“I’m sure Lyla managed to get it saved. You can take a break while she finds the fault.”

He loomed above you, leaned down and opened his mouth ever so slightly. Finally, you had an opportunity to see those massive fangs you loved so much. You loved his habit of using them to intimidate. He didn’t even do it purposefully.

“You can’t really be blaming me for the electricity,” you said.

“I’m not stupid.”

You finally placed the packet of food aside, reached up and grabbed the front of his suit so you could pull him closer. You used your free hand to cup his jaw, ran your thumb over his bottom lip. Those fangs really were beautiful. What you’d give to have them showing more often…

“I need you to take a break,” you said. “It might take a while to fix. You may as well give your body a small rest, okay?”

Before you let him go, you pressed a small kiss to the underside of his jaw. He leaned into the touch just enough to let you know you’d been somewhat forgiven for your meddling.

He took the food from you, muttered something about stubbornness, and listened as you spoke about everything you’d been waiting to tell him.

#across the spider verse x reader #atsv x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara

[vivmaek]

SUN IN THE 6th HOUSE: Observations

Some of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet will have this placement. Their sense of identity is tied to service, they feel an inherent need to get stuff done. Unlike other people, these types are set aglow when caught up within a busy schedule. They have a lot of energy, almost too much, and they need a proper outlet. They’re at their best when settled into a healthy routine. It can be tricky for them to work in time for relaxation or leisure, but they should try to make this more of a priority. Working overtime at the office every day will eventually catch up with them. And since their health is directly linked to their routines, this may leave them feeling depleted or sick. Oftentimes, Sun sixth housers will try to push through. But, ignoring the needs of their tired body will lead to a collapse similar to that of a dead star. This shouldn’t be too much of an issue though. People with this placement intuitively understand that if they're tired they won't be as productive as they want to be. Sun sixth housers also hold themselves to high standards when working, and their self-image may become damaged if they receive criticism. They take negative comments towards their work to heart. A need to be respected by their employers is present here. Expecting admiration can lead to hurt feelings but it also leads to an excellent sense of work ethic. Being lazy will only bring them negative attention, and this is the last thing they want. They take duty and service very seriously. Co-workers know they can depend upon people with this placement, and they naturally gravitate towards them. They always help without complaint and uplift the atmosphere of their work place through their positive attitude. Sun sixth housers remain charismatic under pressure and aren’t likely to have emotional outbursts at work. This attitude shoots them up into leadership positions. They’re always considered to be an obvious candidate and rarely face competition for promotions. Outside of work, people still look up to them for their healthy habits. Others wonder how they can take care of themselves with such ease. As children, it never took much convincing to get them to eat vegetables. They’re naturally drawn to a healthier lifestyle and it's never been something they’ve had to put too much thought into. This is very much an underrated placement.

✰ my masterlist

#astrology #astro community #astrology placements #astro observations #astrology observations #astro notes #birth chart #astrology tumblr #natal astrology #natal chart #sun in the sixth house #sun in the 6th house #the sixth house #astro posts #astro tumblr #astro placements #astrology blog #astrology community #astrology notes #astrology observation #zodiac placements #zodiac posts #natal chart analysis #natal chart placements #natal chart observations #birth chart analysis #birth chart placements #birth chart observations

[lunaviee]

CAFFEINE — ft. rin itoshi

⨳ cw; reader shakes, mentions of not eating, dialogue heavy

⨳ not proofread

⨳ heavily based off of me bc i shake so bad when i have caffeine LMAOO

“you’re shaking.” rin states, giving you a side glare while you’re writing an essay.

“oh. i am.” you stare at your hands for a few seconds, watching as they twitch when you stop typing. your eyes flick back to the screen and continue clicking away.

rin’s frown deepens a bit and he cant help but stare at you as you ignore the trembles. he sighs heavily in annoyance and grabs the coffee cup sitting in front of you.

“you got this caffeinated…” he mumbles, “you’re not supposed to be having caffeine. it’s what makes you shake.” he places the cup down continues to look at you, watching your every move.

rin’s always been observant. he notices the small twinkle in your eyes when you realize your favorite pastry is in stock. he notices the forced smile you give people when you’re far past your social limit for the day. the way you pout a bit when you’re focused.

and the way the you tremble after you realize you forgot to tell the barista you’d like your coffee decaf because it makes you incredibly shaky.

“well….i need the caffeine this time.” you mutter, trying to excuse your forgetfulness.

“need it? for what?” he inquires, raising an eyebrow at you.

“so i don’t fall asleep while writing my essay”

“uh huh….right” he doesn’t believe you. and you know he doesn’t. and he knows that you know that. “did you eat before you got your coffee?”

you pause your typing, watching as your tremors get worse. “um….yes” you glance at him, though he cuts you off. “one macaron we bought at that new bakery doesn’t count.” he’s put his phone down and is now completely focused on you.

“it’s better than nothing” you sigh, throwing your head back against the couch cushion. “well it might as well have been nothing, you’re shaking worse than normal” you couldn’t even argue with that because you were in fact shaking a lot more. you sat in silence and your computer screen started going dim. “just take a break and eat something.” he deadpans, reaching for your laptop.

rin was always very supportive of how you treated your body as long as you were happy and healthy. he’s always been like that, making sure you make the right decisions fit for your body. but drinking caffeine with no food was growing to be a bad habit of yours. and he had to stop it.

“but i-”

“don’t argue, your essay can wait and we both know you hate the shaking.” he holds his hand out, waiting for you to place the laptop in his hand. you stay still, hands slowly gripping onto the keyboard tighter.

rin sighs, knowing there’s one thing that would get you off of the couch. he’s looking at you with his signature blank expression, “if you stop, we can go to the cat cafe you saw last week…” his heart swells a bit at the sight of your eyes regaining their signature twinkle.

“really?” you grin, immediately shutting off your laptop and placing it on the floor. rin nods, trying not to smile at your reaction. “okay, let’s go!” and just like that, you’re off of the couch and shuffling to your shared bedroom to change.

rin stays on the couch for a few moments, now mentally preparing for the amount of “we should get a cat” comments he’s about to receive from you. but it’s worth it, he thinks, as long as you’re happy and healthy.

soon, you’re both ready to leave and you’re still shaking. though this time, it’s mostly from excitement <3

ִ ࣪𖤐 omg…hey guys…..okay this was sitting in my drafts for WEEKS and i needed to post it🤞anyways i was never here i’m back on break kay bye love youuu

#very self indulgent #i need him actually #sorry for writing this instead of the smau lol #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin fluff #bllk rin fluff

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hello it's the vegetable fic person here and- and- if you want could you write something about lookism guys finding out that their s/o is skipping their meals due to busy schedules or whatever 😭

Literally do not know why my asks revolve around food. I'd like if you include gun and jake but I literally leave it upto you love u

Hey vegetable anon! FINALLY getting round to this! Sorry for the wait!

Lookism x Reader: You, too busy to eat

G/N. No TW. Gun, Jakey, Goo, Sammy

Your boyfriend is concerned.

Skipping the odd meal, forgetting to eat, day dictated by a busy schedule - they get it. Except they have noticed this developing into a bit of an ongoing habit, one that is unwelcome and they wouldn't like to encourage.

They've also taken note of the way your clothes hang a bit looser, your cheeks looking a little sunken, and the dullness in your eyes.

They'll have to take matters into their own hands.

Gun Park

Gun learns a lot of new things, a lot about himself with you.

He never used to care about other people, least of all their diet.

After all, why should he? Even when his duties include being Crystal's bodyguard, what she got up to is none of his concern as long as she was safe.

However, with you, that's a whole other story. Whenever you're feeling sad, down, out of sorts. Gun feels a prickle of unease, affecting him until he finds out how to make you smile again.

And when your smile does come out, directed at him, because of him, he can barely describe it. Something not even the thrill of a fight can touch. Like being bathed in sunlight, directly touched by the sun's caress.

His sentimentality is something new he discovered too.

Gun peers down at the food order in his hand as he strides towards your home. All your favourite dishes from your favourite restaurant.

He's not sure he completely likes his softness with you, but as long as you do, he can't bring himself to mind.

Jake Kim

It starts with pursed lips and worried eyes, Jake's hands roving over your body.

Of course he thinks you're beautiful and as long as you're healthy and happy, it doesn't matter.

The worry is that you're not healthy and happy, that you're not eating out of stress. That whenever Jake has the time to cook for you, you will demolish every crumb in sight.

It's all the other times when he's too busy.

The solution, devised by Jake, is a revolving door of Big Deal members at your front step. At regular intervals with your favourite snacks or breakfast, lunch, dinner whenever your boyfriend can't make it.

.

.

"Morning, Y/N. Boss says hi!" Jason hands over a small container of food.

.

.

"Favourite snacks for boss's favourite," Brad grins at you.

.

.

"Jake says he'll see you tonight," Jerry averts your eyes, cheeks dusting with pink at the implication.

.

.

"Boss says," Lineman grimaces, staring to the heavens and wondering why this is now his life, "he loves you and to eat well. Rest well."

After a pause-

"Jason," Lua chides, barely able to keep the smirk off her face, "What else?"

Lineman flushes crimson, hand clenched white knuckled around your food," If you don't then... he said he'll make sure to...," Seriously. Fuck his life. "-punish you."

Goo Kim

"Say ahh!" Your boyfriend holds the spoonful of rice up to your lips. How on earth he has even made a game of this you don't know.

You keep your eye on him but turn your head away. "Goo."

"C'mon, do it for your Goo Bear."

"..."

"..."

He's not grinning. Not his usual slimey smile, not even his soft lift of the lips for you.

He's also not affecting his faux pout. Where he juts out his bottom lip and pleads with large eyes.

That unfortunately for you, he quickly learned that he will get his way 99% of the time.

Instead all you get are brows furrowed with worry and an expression that's trying to be joyful but doesn't fully mask the apprehension.

It's jarring whenever you get a glimpse of Goo's genuine concern, and touching too. Your boyfriend must really be worried about you to put up this whole charade.

Fine. You give in.

Opening your mouth just wide enough, "Ah-"

Goo breathes a sigh of relief, "There we go!"

Samuel Seo

The alarm on his phone vibrates.

Samuel excuses himself from the meeting, ignoring the disapproval radiating from Eugene. It doesn't matter. Some things are more important.

You pick up only after a couple of rings.

"Hey Sammy," A nickname that he at first hated but absolutely loves now. How could he not when you say it with such affection?

"Y/N," and even saying your name relieves some of his stress of the day, "Did you remember to eat dinner?"

"Yep!"

Samuel hears the smile in your voice. You're never annoyed with his calls, with him asking the same questions. You understand it only comes from a place of concern, a place of love. The way he calls you, like clockwork, despite his hectic schedule makes your heart hurt.

"I made some extra for you too!"

Samuel peers through the boardroom window. The figureheads sitting there, discussing something or another. He used to relish being a part of this, dream about one day ruling over it all.

Yet now, all he can think about is wanting to be with you.

He responds simply and honestly, "I can't wait to see you tonight."

#lookism #lookism x reader #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism fic #gun park #gun park x reader #jake kim #jake kim x reader #goo kim #goo kim x reader #samuel seo #samuel seo x reader #wannaeatramyeon

[loosescrewslefty]

I've seen a few people misinterpreting this scene, and thinking that Willow is saying that she WOULD invade Luz's privacy if it were her, and it's frustrated me to the point where I feel the need to say something, because that is 100% NOT what this scene is about.

Willow is NOT telling Amity to snoop in Luz's phone, or saying she would if it were her. Willow is setting healthy boundaries with Amity.

Willow is concerned about Amity here. And she understand why Amity is worried, and why Amity is tempted to snoop (because she IS tempted. They would not be having this conversation if Amity wasn't) but while she might not intend to do so, Amity is trying to push Willow into being her moral compass, to make a difficult choice FOR Amity, so Amity doesn't have to.

And instead of just telling Amity what SHE would do in her shoes, and taking the burden of deciding if it's right or wrong to look through Luz's phone off of Amity's shoulders, Willow goes for the neural ground. Not judging, not deciding for, but listening to and talking with Amity, so Amity can make HER decision about HER relationship with HER girlfriend, without Willow getting dragged into it more than she is comfortable with. This is the best thing someone could do for Amity at this stage, as she is a recovering abuse victim who still isn't used to deciding things for herself instead of following a predetermined path. Setting a boundary here keeps Amity from slipping into a bad habit and putting an unhealthy expectation on Willow as her friend. Because this is NOT Willow's circus, and these are NOT her monkeys.

This isn't the only time we see them show Willow's character possessing a strong interpersonal intelligence, either. We also see a few examples of Willow showing a keen ability of knowing when it's necessary for her to step in and help because someone she cares about is over their heads and spiraling or bit off more than they could chew;

And when she needs to step back, either to give others space to deal with their emotions or to let them manage things on their own, even if she wants to jump in and help.

This is an extremely difficult balance to strike in a character, but they manage it really well with Willow, making her one of the most level headed characters in the show who is willing and capable of helping others without compromising her own happiness and well being or taking on burdens that she should not be expected to bare.

#the owl house #toh #willow park #amity blight #lumity #luz noceda #character analysis #relationship analysis #healthy boundaries #friendships #abuse tw

[moonlit-positivity]

Some of my best moments of healing came when I started to understand some of these snippets of wisdom from others:

People can only perceive what they know.

Comprehension is also a part of communication. If they can't comprehend what you're saying then there is no point in wearing yourself out.

There is a big difference in "listening to respond" vs "listening to be right" and most people do not understand this.

Most people on social media aren't looking to have healthy communication. They're looking to argue. Find other places for conversation outside of the comments section.

People cannot tell you how you're feeling. That is information only you have access to. They are projecting themselves onto you.

People often hide behind projection when theyre hurt. Don't take things personally.

Emotionally immature people cannot understand the difference between communicating vs reacting.

What's the difference?

Communicating = listening with intent to understand

Reacting = allowing the perceived threat to dominate the mood

Triggers can also show us parts of ourselves that are unhealed and in need of attention. Though it is never okay to force yourself to "work through them" if you do not relate.

"There is always more work to do" = this is a lifelong process. Don't try to rush it so hard.

Breaks are allowed and actually necessary in order to catch up.

"Trust in yourself & trust in the process" = you know what's best for you. Nobody else should be telling you how to live your life.

"Do something else" = your sanity is in danger if you don't learn how to step away from the stress. Don't ignore your mind & body asking for a break.

"Life is not a game" = take yourself and your health seriously.

It's normal to seek chaos while recovering. Sometimes we are hard wired for chaos due to the nature of our traumas. Healing can leave you feeling "boring" and that's normal.

Recovery can also be reflected in our outward appearances. "As I grew inward, my outward appearance changed too." The changes we make inside can have a very deep impact on the way we take care of ourselves and the way we project that outwardly through our appearance. Sometimes negatively, sometimes positively. It can fluctuate and change just like we do.

You're not alone. I guarantee you, whatever it is you're going through- there's a community out there for it.

Sometimes you will never know how to move forward. These are the moments that require the most kindness and compassion you can find.

There is such a huge awkward transitionary phase between "I'm stuck repeating old habits" vs "oh okay, I've learned enough to move on now, but I don't want to give up my old identity and now I'm even more panicked than I've ever been in my entire life what the fuck is happening please help me" and this is so fucking normal.

When that happens, just be as kind and patient as you can be. The old parts are in need of patience. They are clinging for a reason. Maybe the closure long forgotten? Maybe the underlying issues finally able to be spoken out loud and addressed? Give them the safety of knowing they are safe, well loved, and that you're still gonna be you in all that you are when they're ready to put those burdens down.

Change doesn't look good at first. At first it feels like ripping your skin off. There's a subtle power in allowing it to feel uncomfortable and doing it anyway. You can tap that power just by waking up and staying committed.

"You're stronger than you think, give yourself some kudos, you're worth the effort to heal." These are all words that others have said to me. Take the positive words that ppl give you and use them to your advantage. They're actually not bullshitting you. They actually really do want you to succeed. Draw on them to get you there.

In the same vein, ask trusted ppl what they think your strong points are. I've had ppl tell me "you're resourceful. You're strong in how you advocate for yourself." It can help to hear these types of things. It's okay to ask!

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #recovery positivity #advice #life advice #growth #self awareness #projection #self esteem #self improvement #shadow work #self care #communication #communicating #relationships #interpersonal relationships

[ramblingoak]

Naps With Copia

Chapter 7: Napping With A Monster

Other Naps: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 8 / 9

For @ghuleh-recs 💙 who wanted a nap with a certain vampire cowboy…

Yeehaw Dracopia x GN Reader (this nap is technically part of my cowboy/vampire AU The Vampire's Bride but this can be read on its own!)

These are all stand alone chapters so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft Copia naps.

Warnings: mentions of vampires feeding, slightly suggestive but still sfw, 800 words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

It was strange watching him sleep. 

He was completely still except for the slight up and down movement of his chest.  Swiss had explained that they don’t need to breathe, but mostly they continued to do so out of habit.  Just like how they sometimes ate normal food.  It didn’t do anything to sustain them but sometimes they still enjoyed a more…traditional meal.  

Sometimes they also did it to blend in. 

The old couple that owned the farmhouse seemed oblivious to who they had invited to stay.  Only you and Copia were staying in the house though, the Ghouls were staying in the barn.  It was a decision that Dewdrop had complained loudly about but one low growl from Copia had shut him up.  It was really fascinating to watch how they all interacted with each other and how they respected Copia.  It was obvious though that their respect also came with a healthy dose of fear of their leader which did wonders for keeping them all in line.  

You turned to look around the sparse room but quickly stopped, hissing when the skin around the bites pulled painfully.  He had been on you as soon as the door to the room was closed, pressing you back up against it and mouthing at your neck.  Your cheeks heated up at the memory and then at the memory of all the other times he had fed from you so far.  You hadn’t expected a vampire’s bite to be so—

“You should get some rest.”

His gravelly voice startled you, his accent a little thicker than normal due to how tired he was.  The fight with Mary had taken a lot out of him and even after feeding from you he still needed time to recuperate.  You looked down at your hands and shrugged. 

“I’m not tired.”

“That’s a lie.”  He smirked when you glared at him, your eyes first mesmerized by how bright red his were before trailing down to the blood still staining his mouth.  Your blood.  “I saw you yawning all through dinner.”

“Shouldn’t someone keep watch?”  

“Keep watch from who?  The owners don’t seem the type to kill people in their sleep.”

“What if they realize you’re not…people?”  

“Then I suppose the Ghouls will have something besides deer and rabbits to feed from.”  He held out his hand, the fingers wiggling in the air towards you.  “Come here.”

“Are you still hungry?”  You were crawling towards him anyway so his answer didn’t really matter but you still wanted to know.  “Do you need to feed some more?”

His hands were surprisingly delicate but there was no doubting how strong he was when he easily lifted you up and settled you at his side.  

“I always want to feed from you.”

You shivered at his words, ducking your head down to hide your blush from him.  He probably already knew how much you enjoyed it.  Copia could feel your pulse against his lips and he could hear how fast your heart would start to beat.  You hadn’t even protested the last few times, you had willingly given yourself over to him.  Offering your neck like it was his anytime he wanted it.  

“You can if you need to.”  The unspoken ‘if you want to’ was heavy in the air.  Copia leaned down, sniffing at your neck at first before running his tongue along the fresh bites.  “Please.”

“Such a polite thing you are, even to a monster such as myself.”

You leaned your head back sharply to catch his eyes.  There was a smirk on his face that didn’t match his tone but before you could try to question it you yawned, your mouth opening comically wide.  He raised an eyebrow as you finished, your jaw even popping loudly when you closed your mouth.  It seemed like a silly thing to apologize for but you did it anyway.  

“I’m sorry.  I-I must be more tired than I thought.”

“Then sleep, we can take a little nap together before night falls.”

You weren’t sure what his plans were when that occurred but currently you were too tired to care.  His body was warm thanks to your blood pumping through his veins and you clung to him embarrassingly tight, enjoying the feel of his arms around you.  The excitement of the past few days seemed to have finally caught up with you and it was becoming impossible to keep your eyes open.  

“Copia?”  You waited until you heard his soft ‘hmm?’ before continuing,  “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

His chest vibrated under your hand but you were too close to sleep to tell if he was laughing or grunting to acknowledge what you said.   You let sleep claim you then, your body going slack against the most dangerous man in the Wild West. It was impossible to say if he was a danger to you but deep down it didn’t matter.  

He wasn’t a monster to you anymore.

@writingjourney your nap is next 😉

Other Naps: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 8 / 9

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

#my fics #my writing #naps with copia #copia x reader #cardinal copia x reader #dracopia x reader #the band ghost fanfiction #ghost band fanfiction #copia fanfiction #dracopia fanfiction #the band ghost fanfic #copia fanfic #dracopia #yeehaw dracopia

[typellblog]

The limits of ‘I can fix her’ mindset; or, Why Emiya Shirou is the protagonist

Here's a kinda improptu analysis post created because I wanted to complain about a meme, but I can hopefully use that as a jumping-off point to talk about some interesting parts of FSN as a whole.

Here’s the meme in question. The phrases chosen in each case do bear some superficial similarity to the events of each route, so I won’t fault anyone for just sharing it for the funny, but if you think about it for 5 seconds the whole thing collapses.

For starters, why are the routes backwards? If anything, Saber’s route establishes a dynamic of Shirou trying to ‘fix’ heroines, which is then subverted in UBW (note the parallel date scenes).

But I don’t think ‘fix’ is the correct term in the first place. I would say the shared theme of all FSN’s routes is that Shirou gains self-worth through his attempts to save each girl.  

We can see this in the Fate route, where Shirou ends up proud of himself for having loved Saber. He is grateful for the emptiness in his heart that allows him to so easily devote himself to other people, because he wants to devote himself to her.

The hole inside of him is filled by a real, actual person, rather than simply a vague ideal from Kiritsugu. It’s something that he can be happy about, rather than something he bears out of self-castigation and to escape from his past.

Much has been made of their mutual recognition of their own flaws in each other – the way they really do attempt to fix each other - but it should be noted that this is not ultimately successful. Saber is, in some sense, saved in the basement scene, but not from the path of kingship. Shirou can’t give her a life as an ordinary girl because he recognises that the thing about her he finds the most beautiful is that very self-sacrificial and uncompromising nature.

They recognise their own flaws in each other, but, just as importantly, they realise their own virtues in each other. Saber sees in Shirou the way she was when she had just pulled the sword out of the stone. Shirou sees in Saber the end of a life pursuing the same unreachable dream – and finds it dazzling.

The implication of Last Episode is that Shirou never stops trying to be a hero, never settles down to a normal life, never gives up on his dream – because his dream is embodied in Artoria herself. She disappears, at the end of the Fate route, but her effect on him remains forever.

I cannot possibly call this a healthy relationship. They did not fix each other, they just realised they were broken in exactly the right ways to slot together.

Saber is a sword, and she perfectly slides into Shirou, her sheath. You could argue they suit each other the best of all three pairs.

But this site is already full of Saberheads, and honestly that part of the meme is the least inaccurate, so let me get into the juicier bit.

Now, Rin tries to fix Shirou in Unlimited Blade Works, she absolutely does. She takes a very proactive approach to it – but what are the results? Shirou still commits to his path of becoming a hero of justice. He says he’ll repeat Archer’s actions despite knowing the result. He says he won’t regret it, and perhaps not, but the habit of self-sacrifice hasn’t disappeared. What he gains from Rin is, again, a sense of self-worth to go along with it.

One of the best scenes in UBW takes place right after Illya’s death. Rin questions what the fuck is wrong with Shirou, jumping in to try and save her like that. Did Kiritsugu do something to him when he was rescued from the fire? Why is his brain so broken?

Shirou has been wondering about a similar thing himself. He’s always had a vague sense of uncertainty about his ideals of heroism. It’s why Archer’s presence bugs him so much, why he can’t provide a convincing counterargument to anything the man says.

But Rin here, seriously worried about him, has provided the answer. It’s because the people who care about him would be sad if he was hurt. His life actually has some value.

And recognising that, he says, ‘Sorry, Tohsaka,” and continues down the same path.

Tohsaka Rin is always a struggle to talk about, because you can quite easily see her as either a victim of patriarchy with severe emotional repression issues, or a Strong Independent Woman who can handle most problems on her own.

Both can be true, of course, but I’d argue that if you look at the VN as a whole (specifically Heaven’s Feel), the latter is deliberately shown to be a façade she has been putting on for so long that she’s forgotten how to take it off. It’s why Sakura at times finds her so unsympathetic and why it’s so vitally important for her to try and sympathise anyway. They both suffered terribly as a result of Tokiomi’s decisions – Sakura perhaps more so, but Rin still had her entire family taken from her as a young child.

But in any case, reading UBW in this light makes it clear that she really does need Shirou, perhaps as much as he needs her. When he describes her as the kind of person who always gets back up and gets even with her enemies, that’s what gives her the motivation to do precisely that.

To her, Shirou is a strange and intriguing person, capable of sticking with tasks that he knows are impossible. She admires that quality, and we notice her developing it herself throughout UBW as she follows Shirou’s example to continue fighting as a Master despite losing her Servant.

Rin and Shirou end up having significant mutual influence on each other, without changing the core of who they are as characters. Nowhere is this better demonstrated than the end of UBW, where they are faced by simultaneous dilemmas. Rin chooses to try and save Shinji from the Grail, despite knowing her chances of success are very low, while Shirou chooses to stand his ground and not fling himself into the abyss with Gil.

In this way, Rin displays in part Shirou’s self-sacrificing nature and pursuit of impossible odds, while Shirou must avoid throwing his life away at the first opportunity and choose to live for the sake of potentially reuniting with Rin and his other family.

Archer is the one that bails them out in the end, the best and worst of them both.

Shirou and Rin’s dynamic is an interplay between selflessness and selfishness. They leave a drop of each in the other like Yin and Yang, the twin swords Kanshou and Bakuya.

You could argue that they balance each other out the best of all three pairs.

And finally, some brief commentary on Sakura. She’s put first in this stupid meme, treated as the most obvious and easy to understand of the heroines, ascribed the least agency with regards her relationship with Shirou. She was broken, and then he fixed her. The end.

The thing is, this interpretation isn’t entirely wrong. Sakura is a very passive character (we see what it looks like when she finally takes action in HF. It isn’t pretty and she knows this.)

Shirou is driven by Sakura, his actions all revolve around protecting Sakura, but what does Sakura herself actually do?

I would posit that this is a coward’s question. Sakura doesn’t need to do any more than she already does in order to spur Shirou to protect her. Heaven’s Feel is about Shirou realising what Sakura has already been doing for him, what Sakura already means to him, the implications of what Sakura has been dealing with this whole time. We’ve had two whole routes to get used to her and now the rug’s come from under us!

I think you can critique Sakura’s lack of agency in her own route, but what I want to point out is that she nonetheless has the greatest impact on Shirou of any of the heroines.

Because, and this is really the worst oversight in that whole meme, Shirou gets fixed in HF far more substantially than the prior two routes. Gaining self-worth through saving others, remember? FSN is a cumulative experience, we learn more about Emiya Shirou with each route, and this is the one that we learn his ideal has been a lot simpler than he thought this whole time. He simply wants to protect the people close to him.

His love for Sakura and, importantly, her love for him, is what gives him the desire to live. He realises that his life has value because she cares about him, and if he wants to save her, he needs to save himself too.

Fate/Stay Night is the story of Shirou, a sword, learning to become a human. You could argue that Sakura helps him accomplish this the best out of all three pairs.

Now, considering Illya’s role in this . . . will have to wait for another time. Augh. You just wait, I've been laying the groundwork here.

#fate/stay night #emiya shirou #fsn analysis

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 4

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 2999

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Dani haven't considered how hard it can be to save people from house fire

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

Trigger warnings: house fire, panic attacks, temporary character death (am I over dramatic to say this if background child character's heart stops for a long moment and Dani hears it?) slight dissociation (tell me if I missed something, I'll fix it)

Dani proved to be useful addition to Duke’s patrol routine even though she couldn’t always join him, had very little actual training and was a certified mess most of the time. It was nice to banter with her in the free time, she did help when needed and her enhanced hearing was great in finding trouble he would otherwise overlook. She also often brought snacks (he did too, because girl had no idea what was healthy and in the love of god, if he didn’t try to get her in better habits). 

“Fire on seven. Some people are stuck inside,” Dani blurted out and flew faster than baseline person should be able to withstand. Duke run and grappled after orange blur she became. It was less than perfect that she couldn’t tell more specifically where things were going down, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t train. 

They rarely intervened with fires, unlike Gotham’s police and CPS, firefighters here worked pretty great. Dani knew this, so her going there in the first place meant something was up.

On a fly he grabbed his gas mask. It was made to withstand Scarecrow and Joker when they released their toxins and not smoke so it should do its job. He hoped that Dani would stop before entering so he could give her spare mask and well, coordinate. But she didn’t, of course. What did he expect from kid who body tackled Joker’s goon without second thought about idk, four other goons with guns being in the same room! He only saw end of her cape in between flames when he swung to the right street. Duke made sure his mask was secure when he stopped on a nearest save rooftop to assess the situation. Fire was too big to be put out with personal means like fire extinguishers so all they could do was to evacuate. 

“Hoopoe, you reckless idiot, don’t die in here,” he muttered, sure she would hear him before grappling inside too.

***

About five seconds after entering building, Dani decided that she didn’t like fires. It probably came from her time in Amity but she was far more comfortable when she could beat the root of the problem into submission. Also, it was surprisingly loud, like need-to-cover-her-ears-for-a-hot-moment type of loud. Not louder than a rogue attack, it would be really hard to beat that level of noise but fire was worse in some way. It was somewhat similar to nails on a blackboard. Not in a sound per se but in a vibe she got from it. How she couldn’t tune it out like she usually did.

She straightened herself and dove ahead to the nearest person she heard. Smoke rendered her eyes nearly absolutely useless. Though she saw, heard and felt enough to find safe routes. Of course she could go intangible and in theory wouldn’t be affected by anything from physical realm but even when intangible fire kept burning for some reason and she would prefer to stay raw to being crispy. Rescued people should stay unfried too.

She didn’t quite remember first few rescues, just that it went smoothly, she took a leaf from Danny’s book, throwing some puns and references she didn’t quite knew but from context thought they would fit. Then once outside, she kept telling them to wait for paramedics and went back inside. She was more and more on edge for some reason.

She was really glad she didn’t need to breathe as much.

Middle-aged man grabbed her arm and shook her violently, asking to save his children.

“Fourth floor, fifth window to the left. Please save them!” man cried. Dani felt kinda like snapping but took deep breath to stop herself from it. Signal would be disappointed if she yelled at panicking civilian. She could kinda relate to the man anyway. She was probably also panicking.

“I’ll save them, I promise,” she said instead, phasing out of his grip.

She heard them, little boy weakly whispering to his sister that everything would be alright as soon as the heroes would get to them. His voice was hoarse, choked, interrupted by shallow breaths while the girl sobbed. Dani darted their way. Fire unit and medics were finally getting closer.

Girl yelled when caped hero appeared in room full of smoke. They both were sitting, older boy slightly swaying.

“It’s okay, I’m here to get you out to your dad,” she soothed, grabbing them both into a hug like carry. She barely jumped away from under the crushed lamp that fell where they were half a second before. Girl yelped.

“It’s okay, I got you, it’s okay,” she muttered, hoisting kids into more comfortable position. She flew nearest way out of the rom, looking for a clear spot on an outer wall. Her stomach dropped and core spasmed when she realized that boy stopped breathing, going limp in her arms. She was panicking throughout whole of this fire rescuing mess but only then she became frantic.

Maybe it was because of the smoke that kept cluging in her throat. She didn’t need to breathe as often but now she felt like she was suffocating and was suddenly all too aware of each bit of air she managed to swallow in her lungs.

She almost dropped when they finally got out. It took less than a second for her to fly to the kids’ father. She put girl down a little to hastily before gently laying boy n the pavement. Adult was beginning to hyperventilate and honestly Dani wasn’t too far behind him. She wished Signal was there. He would know what to do. Dani only had been on one first-aid course and she spent the better part of it on reviewing memes.

She had to remember something!

Breaths! She had to make absolutely sure if he was breathing!

She remembered practicing this one, so she did as instructed, counting to fifteen instedad of ten for a good measure. Then to twenty just to be safe. She knew she was counting too fast anyway.

Boy wasn’t breathing.

He wasn’t breathing!

She wished her ears were deceiving her but there was no heartbeat too!

What was she supposed to do now?!

Oh, right, she remembered chest compression thing from movies. She could do it.

Someone yanked her back, so hard she almost hit her head.

“You’re doing it wrong. I’m nurse, I’ll do it,” young woman declared, already kneeling were Dani was mere seconds ago, unzipped boy’s hoodie and got to work. Only then halfa realized that they got circled by small crowd of people rescued from building. Two of them were calming boy’s family down. She would use some comforting too.

She scrambled to her feet, racing out the crowd. Nobody even glanced her way.

She turned around and flew back inside the burning building.

Why did it feel like running away?

*

First ambulance arrived three rescues after the boy. Dani was so relieved she had to stop for a moment because her knees buckled and flight betrayed her for a hot second. She heard only four other people inside and Signal. They would finish soon enough.

Good.

Her head was spinning slightly.

“Congratulations, you are being rescued, please do not resist” she announced with forced confidence, appearing next to the man who probably was in a gang. Thankfully he didn’t fight her. When she was back in Central City one of the Flashes told her to make sure that people know she was trying to help them especially if they seemed like the type to choose fight over other crisis responses. This man certainly did. He almost punched her anyway.

Next was boy who was far too little to be left alone. She gave him her cape. She assumed he could use the comfort it gave her. There was a reason she choose comfiest blanket to this role.

She heard Signal making his way to the last victim but for some reason it was slow going. She flew up there after the last reassuring words to the boy.

She learned why Signal got stuck about three seconds after appearing on the right floor. It was a literal epicenter or whatever it was called. The root of the problem. The literal Hell on earth. Dani stopped for a moment, downed by the coughing fit and tears making her sight absolutely useless.

Signal was talking to someone. Asking them to calm down. She wasn’t sure. Dani forced herself to stand up and go see what was happening. She was probably swaying a little.

There was young woman in the middle of the fire. There was no scent of burning skin or hair so Dani assumed there were some powers involved. Thankfully most likely she wasn't a ghost. Dani wasn’t in the right headspace to fight a ghost and as cool and competent as Signal was, he couldn’t fight ghosts either.

Woman was visibly terrified. She kept screaming, begging Signal to go away because she was too dangerous to be so close. Hero tried to talk her down. She yelled that it was all her fault and she shouldn’t be saved.

Oh.

Woman had to just learn about her ability and lost control over it. Go big or go home, right? She didn’t exactly have home anymore so…

Dani barely kept herself from hysterical laughter.

Ghost fights were so, so much easier, she just had to beat the cause of the problem into submission and trap it in the thermos. No persuade it into stopping.

It was all too hot, too loud, too suffocating.

Dani could barely think.

Creaking of the ceiling boomed through her brain, somehow getting over the overwhelming cackle of fire that made her just want to hide in the corner and cry, even ignoring absolute onslaught to her other senses.

Ceiling was going to fall down and crush all of them.

Dani could barely think, so she didn’t.

She forgot to turn intangible when she crushed through window, meta woman held tightly in her arms. Thank Ancients she was durable enough to not break her head for that. Signal could handle himself. Hopefully.

Dani gasped on fresh air. She felt lightheaded, barely cognizant from instinctual relief to be out. She was free falling, her body limp, eyes half-closed, wind rushing in her ears and on her face. It was paralyzing but not in a bad way.

It felt good.

It felt like freedom.

It felt like something she could do for the rest of eternity.

It felt-

“HOOPOE!” panicked yell cut through her haze.

Right.

She was plummeting to the ground. She held someone. They would die when they crushed.

She should stop falling.

Could she do it? 

She had to.

She dropped off the blue haired woman with the nearest medic squad and ran. Or flew. She wasn’t quite sure. Her brain still didn’t feel right. But she knew she had to leave.

Next thing she knew was the pain from practically collapsing on a wall and dumpster she hid behind. From what, she had no idea. She had no idea about anything.

So she did only thing she still could.

Dani cried.

***

Duke was getting frantic in his search for Dani after that room collapsed. He knew she made it out, he saw her falling head first to the ground. He was trying to catch her but he knew he couldn’t do it on time. And then she caught herself, left Abigail with medics and flew away in a blur. And Duke couldn’t go right after her because some cop had questions. Duke did his best to wrap it up quickly but still by the time he could look Hoopoe was nowhere to be seen. He was straining his eyes trying to see any sign of her but other than the boy with her cape as a blanket there was nothing. He was tempted to ask Babs for help.

Scratch that, he didn’t have time to do this on his own. Pride and this stupid bet be damned. He turned on his comm, not bothering to go off the main channel.

“Oracle, I need you to search for white-haired preteen girl dressed in white and black. Somewhere near Rossaire street. Probably there will be no clear footage”

“Need help in search?” Steph chimed in gently “Spoiler can be there five minutes flat”

Duke considered it for a moment. Steph knew how Dani looked (as much as anyone who saw her only in photos could know how she looked) and wanted to meet girl anyway. She could be useful help. On the other hand, she mentioned before she had some important stuff. And he wasn’t sure how Dani would react to someone unknown finding her in this state. Last thing he wanted was scaring girl even more. He searched road for Dani’s past light, again.

“No, don’t worry. She just got a little overwhelmed”

“Alright, good luck with finding your kid then”

“She is not my kid!”

“Signal who-” Bruce grunted but got interrupted by Babs.

“Turn right, she entered blind zone but I can lead you there”

“Thanks O”

“No invisibility?” Steph mused.

“Thank God for that,” Duke answered, while grappling to the left. He shoot forward as fast as he could ”Or maybe not. She has to be quite out of it”

“Left again”

“Signal, who are you looking for?” Bruce asked again.

“Next alley to the right. It’s the last place I can see her”

“Thanks O.”

“Signal-”

“Later B.”

Duke landed in the alley, turning his comm off. He knew that sooner rather than later he would have to explain himself and would probably get endless teasing but it wasn’t important at the time. He searched again for past light. He run after glimpses. He stopped when he heard sniffle from behind a dumpster. He slowed down, approaching loudly. It wouldn’t do any good to scare her.

“Hoopoe?”

Her breath hitched. Duke sat down next to her far enough to not invide her personal space but close enough to make her feel not alone.

Her face was black from ashes and smoke other than where her mask was and cleaner tracks her tears were making.

Her mask was laying on a ground (clearly forcefully thorn off which ouch), cape obviously nowhere in sight. When she calmed down, he would ask what happened with it. It would probably be a good distraction. But not now.

“Hey kid. Can you try breathing a little slower for me?”

She mumbled something, inaudible between loud wheezing.

“I know it’s hard but I’m sure you can do it. Who if not you?”

Girl visibly tried, shifting around as if she tried to find some much needed comfort. Clearly, the lack of pressure her cape was giving her wasn’t helping.

“How about you try putting hand on my chest and matching my breathing? It often helps”

She moved her hand and he led it to his chest. Dani shuddered.

Slowly, telegraphing his movements Duke extended his arm and put it across Dani’s shoulders. Girl leaned into it with choked sobs.

“I know it was scary,” he muttered as she shook silently “You did so well, Dani”

Girl let out quiet, high-pitched whine that didn’t sound quite human, trapping him in the hug much stronger than child her age should manage. He rubbed her back gently.

They sat in silence, as girl relaxed a bit.

“I officially despise fires. Just not my vibes, y'know,” was the first thing she managed to say. Duke smiled, still trying to comfort her. He knew far too well what she was trying to do. He let her. Every hero needed to retreat to humor every once in a while. Majority of his family and associated vigilantes did it constantly.

“Right here with you”

She looked at him, searching for something on what little she could see on his face.

“You see more, don’t you?” she asked but didn’t wait for an answer “It was too much even with normal eyes. How can you be so calm?”

“I have normal ears and after fifth or tenth time it loses its charm”

“Yeah, okay,” she wheezed out “I didn’t expect the fire to be so loud. And smoke was a bit much in terms of texture and smell and everything”

“I would give you a mask if you waited, you know?”

He felt more than saw how she shrugged. It seemed like she wasn’t exactly listening to him anymore.

“But since you didn’t, we should get you looked up by some professional. You breathed in some nasty stuff”

Dani didn’t respond. Then she sprung up with gasp, a little out of his grasp, not standing but sitting straighter. She grinned, wide, eased thing gracing her lips as fresh tears began to create new paths on her dirty cheeks. She let out a choked laugh, more sign of relief or release of tension than actual happiness. It sounded rougher than usual, probably because of smoke and ashes aggravating her throat.

He wanted to ask what was up but it felt like the wrong time for it.

“He is breathing again” Dani cheered gently, as if unsure before repeating loudly, letting herself believe “THE BOY IS BREATHING AGAIN!”

Girl was shaking again, no bothering with drying tears this time.

Duke could guess what happened. He didn’t want to think about it too hard.

“It’s great to hear”

“Yup!” she grinned between fat tears.

They sat in silence as Dani gradually calmed down again. He knew she didn’t feel all that well yet, she couldn’t but she was probably calm enough to not break down in the middle of the BatBurger.

“I think this day counts as quite bad one,” girl said, wheezing a bit. Duke smiled, knowing where this was going. He ruffled her hair.

“Yeah, I think so too”

None of them said anything for a long moment.

“You’re up for a ‘bad day combo’ Gotham style, Hoopoe?”

“Yup” she smiled.

********

Apartment building: *is on fire*

Dani: It can't be that bad

Narrator voice: It was in fact, much worse

Kid, whose heart stopped thankfully didn't have too many issues tied to it and nothing life treatening long term. Every person who was in the building during fire left relatively unscathed. This fic is supposed to be mostly fluff I'm not killing anyone

Kid who got Dani's cape-blanket refused to phisically let go of it for solid two weeks. Later it still had to be in his sight. Understandable since his life went of the rails and did it hard. Kids ripe age of seven shouldn't be home alone. Especially not for whole day...

Dani: *still clearly shaken* Does your bad day combo include fries?

Duke, on his way to The "I had mental breakdown and need calories" Waffle Foodtrack: No, but we can change it!

Underpayed BatBurger employee: ...

Duke&Dani looking like they've just returned from war:...

Underpayed BatBurger employee: ...

Duke&Dani:...

Underpayed BatBurger employee: *deciding they don't have enough mental energy to care* Welcome to the BatBurger, can I take your bat-order?

Duke: One kids meal, please

Employee at The "I just had mental breakdown and need calories" Waffle Foodtrack, used to seeing Bats crying: *sees Hoopoe munching on her fries but in a sad way* Ah, babiest one got christened by fire already?

Employee: *takes out notebook to note down crazy combo this kid will come up with**they have every Gotham vigilante in here*

Dani: I haven't had a waffle ever before so maybe nuttella and whipped cream? I don't know, sweet?

Employee, offended: Let me surprise you.

It was great waffle, sweet enough to give sugar rush quite big group of preschoolers. It had marshmallows, sprinkles, whipped cream, jellybeans, whatever else this person on the mission found and could mix. Dani absolutely loved and devoured it.

I finally didn't forget to add read more!!!

I really want to draw Dani and Duke togheter but I can't find any pose references that satisfied me. Do you have any good ones? Can be chibi though preferably not

Next part

#dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dp x dc #dani hangs out with duke #signal got new sidekick and he cares about her deeply #no jokes for this part tags either #though I hope you had fun at Waffle Foodtruck #hoopoe's cape shock blanket #wandixx writes #ghost of fries and hero of cookies #have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part

[queenofcoquette]

emotional regulation

introduction:

i think a big problem we all go through is not knowing how to properly regulate how we’re feeling. in the world we see this when customers raise their voices and yell at people doing their job, relationships that have meaningless screaming matches that lead to nothing good. overall, just people losing their temper and making their bad feelings someone elses problem.

this has definitely been a huge problem of mine. being rude to my family because i was just so sad i had no patience and was snarky. manically posting on this account as a way of getting ‘help.’ i still have a lot of work to do, but i’ve made it a big focus of mine to always be calm.

reflection

reminder. it’s okay to be upset about something- but it’s not okay to direct that towards someone who has nothing to do with it. for example, it’s okay to be stressed out from life, but it’s not okay to direct that into anger towards some random person.

reflect. when you have a quiet moment take time to think about how your thoughts/actions affect you and the people around you. don’t beat yourself up over it, just be aware and then work to improve this.

self awareness. the first step is self awareness. you kinda just need a point where you think “this is a problem” this self awareness runs deeper- when you get upset you need to be aware of your thoughts, how you want to react.

habits to introduce:

healthy venting. keeping a vent journal literally changed my life without a doubt. when i get super emotional and irrational i write down all these thoughts instead of saying them and hurting people. if i’m angry then i write about it, if i’m sad or insecure, it goes right in my journal. it’s a release and it feels good to put your thoughts out in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.

healthy habits. practice mindful breathing, meditation, positive affirmations, journalling- something that helps you! stay consistent with your routines and continue to practice mindfulness. be self aware.

practicing patience. this goes hand in hand with self awareness. when you’re feeling your emotions building up take deep breaths and try to rationalize. it’ll take work at first, but in time it’ll become your natural response.

in conversations/real life:

deep breaths! it’s easy to be impatient but when you’re feeling that way just keep breathing and remind yourself to stay calm. it takes some work but this is effective.

avoid interrupting. when you’re talking to someone i know it’s easy to want to interrupt and prove them wrong, but even though it’s painful you need to give people time to speak, even if they’re being rude.

think before you say, phrase yourself carefully. in heated arguments it’s easy to express yourself incorrectly, so it’s important to think over your words and be cautious

what if it doesn’t work?

if you try all that and it doesn’t seem to work then it probably means something else. it could mean that you have a mental illness which can’t be solved with journalling or things like that. it’s important to seek the care that you need. these tips can’t solve mental illness, but paired with proper treatment it can make a big difference. if you’ve been staying consistent to the things i listed above for a while and they’re not working then i think it’d be best to talk to a doctor. 

conclusion

all in all, emotional regulation can be difficult- but it’s so important in our lives. ideally it should be taught to little kids, but if its not then we all need to work on it. always self-reflect on yourself and your behavior. understand the affects that your actions have on you and yourself. we got this :)

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #queenofcoquette

[requiemfordreams]

Some tips that helped me lose weight while having an ed and preventing dizziness, fatigue hair loss, and brain fog.

For some reason eating after 2pm has reduced my cravings alot.

Chewing sugar free gum helps alot. Most of them contain sorbitol for the sweet taste and consuming sorbitol in a large amounts can lead to it acting as a laxative.

Coffee. To keep you full and again another laxative. But it can only be had hot for it to work.

Dry fruits. They contain little to no calories and prevent you from feeling dizzy.

Some junk foods are considered empty caloric foods because they do not provide any sort of good calories that your body can use, which can lead to your body storing them. So if you can find a low empty calorie food, you can sometimes eat them to keep yourself full. I should note this might not work for some people but it has worked for me.

What also has worked for me is make the same lunch to take to school, which is really low cal and because it is my comfort food and it helps me not think about food and since I spend 9 hours at school, not counting the 40 mins it takes me to and fro from school, I'm able to spend an ample amount of time not eating and that works wonders

and if my parents asks me to eat, I just say I shared my friends' lunch and I'm full.

I m like to distract myself from eating everytime I have a craving by chugging alot of water, which is first good for your health and keeps your belly full for longer.

I take multivitamins to keep up with all the necessary nutrient needs.

I also drink like 30gms of protein powder with water to help with my muscles, and also because protein helps in losing calories.

Fruits. Especially watermelons. They are so full of water, a cup of watermelons contains 46 kcal and can make you feel full really fast and they are packed with the good kinds of carbohydrates, vitamin A, C, and B6, full of potassium and absolutely no fats or sodium.

Cucumbers. Again, water based with almost little to no calories to them.

If you are having hair loss problems, biotin is a great supplement for hair and so is protein.

Try as much as you can to make sure you're not alone too long. Because when nobody is there around you, you're more prone to giving into your urges. So if you see that in you, try being around as much people as possible.

Coconut water is a great drink to help balance your electrolytes and keep your nutrients to the level.

Coconut oil and if you're Indian, ghee is great for your hair because it makes your hair more healthy and strong. It would be best if you kept your hair oiled overnight before washing and not just a few hours.

If it helps, because it has worked with me, even though I look fat, I tell everyone around me about how little I eat or how healthy I eat. And sometimes if I have to eat with other people, I will only have half of the food I ordered and ask if anyone can finish it because I'm not used to having so much food. Or I already had such a big breakfast that this seems too much. The little lies, that make you feel accountable into not eating so much even when you're alone.

I like to avoid sodas and energy drinks even if they're diet soda or not, because they honestly have way too many calories that your body can retain.

Masturbating. It's weird but five mins of it can lead to losing 400kcals and that's worth a bit of something.

Studying. It doesn't feel like it but you use alot more calories when you're concentrating on your work.

Sitting up straight. The will of keeping your shoulders straight and your spine straight, it takes up alot of calories because your body is not used to you doing that.

Doing chores around the house that require you to be on your feet.

Drink alot of water. But not too much.

Make a habit of waking up at a certain time in the morning and sleeping at a certain time. This makes way for a more disciplined mind, and more will power and honestly, not only do you not get so much fatigue or dizziness, it cultivates good sleeping habit. Which is not only good for the body, it also helps you stay focused in classes.

There is a certain set of yoga called the suryanamaskar which promotes good cardiovascular health and if you do 12 sets of it everyday, helps in losing calories. And they are so simple and easy for you to do if you don't feel like you have much energy.

I don't have more but if I do, I'll reblog and add them.

#ed bllog #ed not ed sheeran #ed binging #ed journal #tw disordered eating #@n0r3xia #@na trigger #ed disorder

[that-one-girls-blog-posts]

PICK A CRYSTAL, GET A READING 🔮 🪽 🧿

take a moment to choose

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

1.goldstone 🌟

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ You chose the goldstone which stands for joy, abundance and personal development and right of the bat I feel like this is a huge subject for you right now.I pulled the 8 of cups and the page of wands which if you know the cards of the ethereal visions deck are both illustrated with characters holding these huge sticks and looking into the distance. It looks like they already took the first few steps of the long and hard journey ahead of them and are now at a point of taking a break to plan, overthink and almost reconsider their next steps. They might be waiting for the night to come or pass so they can continue safely which can feel a little stagnant but it's really a smart safety precaution. There is a little bit of a bitter taste to it since the 8 of cups is also interpreted as purposely leaving in the night to go unseen. Maybe you are not sure if you are taking this path because you know it's for the better or because you're trying to run or hide from something and you are scared to be perceived while possibly making a mistake.

The path ahead of you is pretty clear, you know which steps you should take next but that also means you can clearly see the challenges, rough stones and mountains you will have to face. Therefore this definitely is a situation where you need to properly plan what you're gonna do next, instead of blindly jumping in like I feel you would usually do(sometimes taking a leap of faith makes sense and can be very exciting) but in this section of your life it's part of an important lesson you're supposed to learn, to atleast have an idea of where you are going and why you want to be there.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.☝🏽Things seem to get a little overwhelming right now but I have no doubt you are taking the right steps and you are very much capable of handling the challenges thrown at you🤺

Though this is a situation you are rather new to, you feel confident in your position (props to you, many people would try to slow things down out of fear, but not you👏🏽) there still is a teenie tiny bit of self-doubt that I feel like you don't really want to acknowledge even exists, but it's a healthy amount, it's good to question things from time to time, even yourself, your knowledge and capabilities. Maybe this is something that you could consider in your next shaddowwork session or when journaling

Do I have the tendency to try and handle things on my own?

Is this habit safe for my current situation?

Which kind of subject do I maybe need to research more before taking my next steps?

I feel like this is a very unique path to the point where you struggle to find people who can help and understand you in this situation but please remember that you are never truly alone (believe me been there done that👨🏻‍🦲) and that you can always find some helpful words somewhere even if it's from people online or a quote from a book..... it's okay to ask for help or guidance, doing so is a sign of a healthy relationship with yourself, no one knows everything and it's good to ask for help before any serious damage might be done.

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the Spring which fits this "beginning of a new journey but haven't gotten very far yet" vibe very well. In spring, the seeds in nature have just begun to sprout, loads of them are still in the protection of the earth and need a little more support from sunshine, rain !!and time!! until they are ready to take the next step and show their face to the world. This also shows that you feeling stagnant is a natural state your current environment,which means you're not really missing out on anything right now, and the place you want to enter is also not yet ready for you, everything needs a little more time to get out of hibernation🦔

💋LOVE

I can't see much change regarding your love life in the near future, the stagnation is also showing it's affect here.You are really focused on the path ahead of you, because you recognize it's importance. Whatever is happening at the moment, this is lifechanging and who knows, might even bring you to the place in life where love is waiting just around the corner🤭

If you're in a relationship I feel like you and your partner are going through a phase where you also feel like there's not much happening but under the surface you are deepening your relationship to each other, maybe your communication recently got on a deeper level or you found a new side on the other person that you are exploring and getting to know and love, enjoy the moment🫶🏽

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

2.aquamarin 🌊

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ you chose the aquamarine which is associated with calmness, intellectual and spiritual abilities as well as communication. I think there's a pretty big chance that you felt called to this stone because of the calming energy part, like it's something you really need right now. I'm getting the energy of a situation where you need a lot of strength, there's problems with communication, discussions and fights, maybe at home with people you are close to, very likely a romantic partner. BUT through this chaotic energy on the outside you have found a "new" resource inside yourself?!?!?!!! There is a quietness and stillness that you didn't know you had in you!🧘‍♀️

For you I pulled the 2 of cups in reversed and the star. The other person you're dealing with has very firey energy and I feel like you do too, might be astrological or just very strong temper. In the past you always had a very intense way of communicating with eachother, both of you wanted to stick with your point but somehow you always found a way to agree somewhere in the middle, lately this has gotten more difficult tho. There might be something like trustissues involved which are causing this sudden problem, anyways this other person is trying to open new doors with old keys and won't change their behavior during difficult moments, but you, you found a way of dealing with this in a very relaxed and laid back way! this is amazing! It's like your way to argue has matured! but it's important to say, please don't start going into the opposite direction now and let the other person walk all over you!! beeing the "bigger person" will not always be the best for you, a certain amount of selfrespect is needed. You now need to find a way of getting your point across without leaning too much in to one of the extremes. you're on a great journey of growth and I feel like you are also very proud of yourself and can recognize your change.🥹

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the raven which is very interesting since they are associated with occult wisdom, magic, the spiritual/the divine and growth which confirms the spiritual abilities aspect of the aquamarin. I feel like this new mysterious source of calmness you found within yourself is almost like a gift from the divine! or maybe your ancestors or your spirit guides, whatever you believe in (this feels like an energy which is comfortable in the shaddow as in remaining a secret or unknown/unseen, I think you might know who fits that description;)) They gave this to you and are guiding you through it! I feel like meditation might be an amazing tool for you right now to find the secret messages within the new found silence 🤍🪶

💋LOVE as mentioned earlier I feel like the struggles you are facing right now, might be with a romantic partner. I dont think there's something severly "toxic" going on and I don't think there's much doubt in the relationship or the in other person. You are someone who recognizes that noone is perfect and you can easily see the good in other people despite their flaws. You know you will work through this issue and everythung will be okay🤍(trust your gut on this, I can always be wrong, if you have any suspicion of danger coming from a person in your life, remember your safety and take action accordingly🙏🏽)

If you are not in a relationship there might be a crush, it can be very distant, who you are overthinking right, you saw a new side on them and now you're not sure anymore how to feel about them. Remember that you don't really owe crushes anything especially if you're not in contact so you are free to explore your feelings on your own and take as much time doing so as you need 💌

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

3.smoky quarz🌫

Hi welcome to this reading!♡ you chose the smoky quartz which is great for manifestation and other spiritual work, wishes, protection and cleansing, which I think is really funny since the stone looks kind of polluted like there's smoke trapped inside of it and how do you clean with a dirty sponge yk?

Anyways, I feel like you are a very hard worker which so far has already paid off, whatever you are doing your great efforts are recognized. You might have a higher position at your job or you're something like the schoolpresident or the captain of your sports team( Congrats on whatever it is🏆). Being a leader Is a very sought after position but oftentimes the responsibility is much less glamorous than it looks on the outside, but as it looks in your life you are absolutely it slaying it!

For you I pulled the King of swords and the 10 of wands.You are very used to your position almost like a monarch or a nepobaby (love that for you👑) but you definitely give off the vibe of someone who was born into their fate, maybe you come from a family of teamcaptains or entrepreneurs?When you stepped into your place you never questioned it and immediately took the reins. You don't mind the hard work because you know how much responsibility you have and how many people are relying on you so you take the job very seriously.

Lately, I feel, you've been getting a little tired with carrying all this responsibility, I personally really understand the need for a control in a position like this and how hard it is to share the work with other people when it's you who is kind of representing everyone and everything. If someone fucks up the job, you're gonna have to pay for it so you much rather just do it all on your own and make sure it's perfect. This is an admirable trait but unfortunately not easy to sustain for a longer period of time. At some point the work will be too much for you to carry alone!!

🧝🏾‍♀️The Oracle card I pulled for you is the path and I feel like yours right now is the journey of trying to find people you trust to take some of the weight off of your shoulders👯I think your situation requires a special way of support, you don't just need someone who will simply take some of the weight and carry it alongside with you but someone who instead helps you to push the the weight Step-by-step.

It's like when you get stuck with your car. You dont need someone to take out the interior so it's less weight to push😂 but a person who will get to the back next to you and push! Or like a president who doesn't want a vice president to actually take control but an assistant who will help organize everything🗂

It's a tricky situation and it's tricky to find someone like that but I feel like by going with the flow and allowing people, chances and opportunities for support to come into your life, you will find a unique solution that will not only make your life easier but protect you from a serious burnout! I see this process taking some time since your situation is so specific. There will be many offers of support that are just not right but by simply keeping your eyes open and allowing more ideas to come to you, you will find a way🩷

💋LOVE

I wonder whether or not I should even say something right here💀 You're a workaholic and there's simply other things in head right now than romance. If you're in a relationship things are stable and steady and will continue like this... If you are single don't expect much in the next few months, you are really on a self-development journey right now and there's not much space for other people and their problems in your life BUT If you crave love remember that you have to set priorities and in fact go out and get to know people to find that special someone. It's tragic I know but you got this #gaslightgatekeepgirlboss 💅

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

⚜️dear audience⚜️ I hope you enjoyed this little session and it resonated with you, please remember that collective readings, due to their nature won't be as accurate as a personal reading and might not even be for you at all, so please, choose intuitivly, take what resonates and leave the rest🌟 feel free to share any feedback and your experience with the reading in the comments🤍 thank you

#pick a pile #pick a card #crystals #tarotcommunity #free readings #psychic #divination #witch #spiritual #divine feminine #divine masculine #selfcare #self love #self development #guidance #signs #astrology #aa #girlblogging #this is a girlblog #this is what makes us girls #aesthetic #mutuals #law of assumption #manifesting #journaling #spiritual journey #shadow work #inner child #higher self

[nevernonline]

✽ maybe this means something? ✽ | csc.

001: FALL

Choi Seungcheol used to be the bane of your existence, but through a year of seasonal rotations, something felt different.  It has to be overwhelming realizing you're falling for the person you always thought you hated. 

𐦍 paring: seungcheol x reader. (svt members mentioned)

𐦍 genre: frenemies (sort of), romance, a little angst, fluff.

𐦍 warnings: drinking,  brief mentions of illness, mary jane 🍃,  suggestiveness (sort of) 

𐦍 word count: 2.8k

𐦍 content: non-idol characters, food/drink, cursing, slightly- suggestive, pet names, fem! reader. bff! hao. 

𐦍 notes: every time I listen to Means something by Lizzy McAlpine it makes me think of cheol so I wanted to write a little something with it as inspo, but pls ignore any typos or weird phrasing I'm super rusty when it comes to writing long fics. pls enjoy and give feedback. xo.

intro - fall - winter - spring

Fall: Flashback. 

 Running out of your childhood home faster than ever onto the first day of college felt so exhilarating, the smell of the fall air and the wind pushing your hair back as you sprinted to your car door made you feel free. 

You had around two hours before your first class started, a new start was one of your favorite things. Fresh people, fresh clothes, a new haircut, the smell of new books. 

Pulling up to the curb and wailing on your horn to notify your friend you had arrived, made you giggle. This was such a mundane thing you’ve done for years, switching off weeks driving to school, gossiping about your day, but now it felt new again. 

Xu Minghao, the constant person in your circle, the one who always had your back and took the words out of your mouth. He understood you more than anyone in the world, even your own family, got you into parties, held your hair when you happen to drink too much, and most of all never judged you. 

A slam came from across the lawn in front of you, Minghao strutted down his home's cobblestone passageway like he was living his own Tyra Banks fantasy.

“Goodmorning, Gorgeous.” he says eleated as his long legs stretched into your vehicle. 

“Goodmorning, my love.” you responded, putting your car back into drive. “Coffee?” 

Minghao peered at you under the rim of his sunglasses. “For you, I’ll have orange juice and green tea.” 

A whistle escaped your lips, “Wow, robbing me for all I have I see?” 

“No, but I am trying to teach you healthy habits this year. Are you excited for our first class? I actually can't believe we managed to get nearly the same schedule.” 

“Yeah, well my dad insisted on calling the dean and told him that I had a learning disability so I had to be around you as much as I can.” You said cringing. “Luckily they just made him open his wallet and donate to the art department.” 

Minghao just giggled and rolled his eyes because he knew how your parents were and how much you didn’t want anyone to know. “Listen, maybe this year you should just lean into telling people about your family if they ask. I’m not saying you have to or anything, but pretending to be average when you’re anything but is below you.” 

All you could do was hum at his words. The reason you conceal yourself is because pretending you didn’t have an influential family made people respect all the things you’re able to do more, Hao knew that, but he also knew that you struggled keeping a secret all four years of highschool. 

You pulled your car into the local campus cafe and hopped out only to be met by a group of guys yelling for Minghao. 

“Who are they?” you questioned laughing at the group of excited looking puppies from across the lot. 

Hao mimicked your expression, waving his hands side to side, “Oh, wow. That is the group of guys I met abroad I told you about, they go here too.” He roped his arm through yours pulling you into the lion's den. “You’ll like them, they’re nice I promise.” 

Your feet felt like they couldn’t move staring at the four new faces in front of you, one more gorgeous than the next. There was Jun and Chan the dance majors, Wonwoo the literature major, and Seungcheol the business major. Three out of the four automatically welcomed you into their circle, the fourth Choi Seungcheol was icing you out, for a reason you may never understand. 

“What major are you again, Y/N?” Jun asked as you continued awkwardly sipping your coffee across from him. 

“Oh, I’m an art major same as Hao, mainly digital and my minor is tech and graphic.” You said smiling back thankful he broke the ice for you. 

“Wait cool, I think Cheol is also minoring in tech and graphics. Maybe you guys will share a class too.” 

A smirk came from the male to his right, Seungcheol. Something about him was bone chilling, the pale skin the raven hair, competitive by nature. 

“Don’t ask me to sit with you in class, I don’t do amateur hour.” He said flashing you a gingival smile. 

You just smirked back, “Fine with me, I don’t do asshole hour.” 

And that's where it all started, your ongoing competition with Choi Seungcheol. 

Present: 

It’s been a few weeks since your encounter with the bully himself, you just worked and worked behind your desk, with no chance to be out in the real world. You thought about texting your mom to come and visit for the weekend, but ultimately decided on calling Minghao. 

“Hello, my beautiful working girl. How are we?” you could almost feel his smile through the phone. 

“Love my life, hello. I’m alright, just so busy. I was just wondering what you’re doing all weekend, I desperately need to drink.” 

You laugh and he follows along. “Well, well, well. Finally coming to ask me to rescue you from corporate life, huh? I actually made plans to go watch Jun and Hoshi’s concert this weekend, if you wanted to come? There’s a cast party after and they asked about how you were anyway so you can definitely join.” 

“Wait, they’re in town? I had no idea.” You put Hao through the speaker phone and check your socials. “They literally messaged me two days ago asking if I was free. Maybe I should listen to you more.” 

“I have been trying to influence you for like nearly a decade, y/n. But, come please. It's tomorrow, so we can go shopping tonight, have a little sleep over, and drink for breakfast before we go on Saturday.” 

“Wow, yes. I could kiss you. It’s a date.” 

Hao hummed over the other end of the phone, “Meet me at my place at five, okay?” 

“Okay. I love you, I gotta go, bye.” 

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

You nearly sprinted out of your desk as the boring work day you had sped past since your conversation with Hao. And you much like the clock speed as fast as you could to find your oasis at his home. 

“Honey, I’m home.” you yelled, removing your coat and shoes and dropping them in his entryway. 

“Well, hello baby.” A voice spoke, not Minghao, but Seungcheol resting in a large lounge chair watching the news. 

With an eye roll, you greeted him back. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hao told me to meet him here to go shopping for the show tomorrow, what are you doing here?” 

You found your way to Hao’s cloud of a couch and planted yourself on it.  

“Uh, he told me the same thing, we were supposed to just hangout and have some drinks tonight.” 

Your eyes met him again, something about them made you feel bad for being so cold towards him for years. 

“Oh, are you spending the night too?” 

“Yeah, did he ask you to stay as well?" 

Seungcheol gestured to the similar overnight bag resting on the floor adjacent to yours. 

“Yep. Should we fight to the death to see who gets the nicer guest room?” 

“I really don’t think I could kick your ass at anything other than Mario Kart.” 

“Then let’s play, the loser gets to buy all the alcohol and the winner gets the good guest room.” 

Seungcheol’s hand reached towards yours and you decided to take it, like making a deal with the devil. 

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄

About an hour after virtually driving the rainbow, the front door opened again to reveal Minghao in its threshold holding multiple bags of takeout. 

“Oh, hey you’re both here. I brought food."

You jumped up at the chance to break the closeness with Seungcheol you found and he followed suit behind you to greet your friend and to help him with the bags of food in hand. 

“You did not buy fire noodles again, you will literally be in the bathroom for hours.” 

Seungcheol giggled at you while unwrapping the rest of the food. 

“You know, Hao. I never realized Y/N’s strength really lay in gaming, she gave me a run for my money at Mario Kart.” 

“Shut up, Seungcheol you literally still kicked my ass, enjoy your beautiful guest room.” 

You sat sulking at the dining room table, slurping up your bowl of noodles. 

“No, you can have it. I actually live two floors up anyway, I was just fucking with you to see if you could take the heat.” 

“I see you guys had fun without me.” Hao chuckled. “Did I not tell you Cheol moved into my building recently?” 

“No clearly not, he kicked my ass in Mario Kart and now I have to buy you booze hounds alcohol.” 

Minghao clearly was loving the fact that the plan he had set out to get you to get closer was working. Cheol didn’t pick up on the fact that you knew what Hao was up to and continued eating in silence for a while before speaking back up. 

“You don’t really have to spend your money on us, Y/N.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. I’ve been spending my allowance and paychecks on Hao since eighth grade.” 

“Hey! That is not true, our relationship has always been equal.” 

Seungcheol stirred, he always assumed you didn’t have much financially. He’d often wondered in college, how you became friends with Minghao who was definitely better than well off. Was he wrong about you using Hao, sure, but he always thought you benefited from the friendship more than him in other ways then the platonic relationship you shared. 

Too scared to ask without knowing what outcome he’d get from you he decided to excuse himself to the restroom and find out for himself. Cheol sat on the marble tile of Hao’s bathroom sink and searched your name, but no luck, only your professional profiles and instagram hit. 

He searched deeper, and deeper until he stumbled upon an article written in a High School newspaper. 

“Wait, her mom is Mina Lee?” he muttered now searching your first name with a newly founded surname following it.  

Dozens of articles popped up about your family, their finances, their homes, the illness. Stuff Seungcheol would have never expected, all this time he thought you were everything you weren’t, but this, this made more sense. 

He pretended to run the sink water as he bookmarked the article he found talking about the Lee’s hidden children, a gossip blog no less, but maybe it would give him more answers. 

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After hours of shopping, mainly to find Minghao a perfect outfit. You reached your destination, the liquor store. Whipping your card out to hand to Minghao for him and Cheol to spend whatever they wanted to make their night as good as possible, you decided to stay outside and watch the colorful leaves fall. 

Dialing your mom’s number on your phone and waiting for her to answer seemed like forever, but you were eventually met by her soft voice. 

“Y/N? Darling, are you alright?” Hearing a sweet pet name from your mother, no matter how long it's been since you’ve seen her always felt right. 

“Hi, Mom. Yes, I’m okay. I just wanted to check in on you. Is everything alright?” 

“Oh, well good. Your father is feeling better, but I’m not sure his chemo is working as well this time” Your mom just sighed, you could hear the pain through the phone. “Why don’t you come visit for Christmas, okay? We can make hot cocoa together and I’ll fill your stocking with Jelly Beans like we did when you were a kid.” 

“I will. I’ll book my flight when I get back to Hao’s later tonight. Kiss him for me?” 

“Aw, good. Tell Minghao to visit, we miss him too.” 

The sound of the bell on the door rings to alarm you Hao and Cheol were coming back to find you. 

“I’ll force him, I love you, okay?” 

“Alright, dear. We love you, goodnight.” 

As you hang up your phone, you fight back the tickling itch of tears forming in your eyes and fall into step with the two men. 

“We got you that weird sour beer you like, and-” Minghao pulls out a brown bag full of mini bottles of your favorite alcohol. 

“Wow, I see you really treated me and my money well. It’s an honor.” 

You pulled three small bottles out of the bag and handed them to Seungcheol and Hao, twisting off the top of yours. 

“If you guys walk back to Hao’s building with me, I’ll reward you further.” 

You smiled holding up your bottle for a cheers and they followed. 

“Deal.” 

They both smiled and tipped their heads back to get their night started. 

About two blocks from the apartment complex and a few mini bottles of liquor in, you stopped for Hao to run inside a mini mart to grab multiple snacks and a pack of cherry rolling papers you loved. 

“So, Y/N Lee? I was wrong about you wasn’t I?” 

Seungcheol spoke your full name like he was singing lyrics to a song, but it had you confused. 

“What? How did you know that?” 

“I will confess I got confused over dinner before, you guys were saying a lot of stuff and I felt bad asking what it was about so I looked for myself. I’m sorry.” 

Sorry. A word you’d never thought was in Seungcheol’s vocabulary, so you felt it was sincere. 

“It’s alright, it was stupid I lied about it for years anyway. Really, don’t sweat it.” 

“Yeah, that's actually really stupid.” 

That’s all he could respond with, but he did offer an olive branch by opening you a bottle of beer and offering it to you on the sidewalk. 

“Cheers, to getting to know the real you?” Cheol questioned. 

“Yes, cheers to getting to know the real me.”  

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄

After a change of clothes and more than a few drinks, you dipped out onto Hao’s balcony to roll yourself a joint only to find Seungcheol drink in hand typing on his phone fearlessly. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll go back inside.” 

“No, I’m finished, you can sit.” 

You nearly stumbled onto the balcony, the alcohol telling your body where to go.

“Isn’t it against your better judgment to send work emails while drunk?” 

He laughed, placing his phone back into his sweatshirt pocket.

“Well, isn’t it against your better judgment to roll a joint while drunk? That shit looks fucked.”  

You didn’t even ask before you were handing over your stash and papers to him. You watched his fingers and they perfectly packed and fixed your work for you. 

“Wow, what the fuck?” 

“I’ve had practice, if you need a teacher.” 

“I’m much better sober, I promise. Plus it’s cold and I can't feel my fingers.” 

Cheol scooted closer to you now holding a lighter up, begging you to spark his good work with his eyes. The flame burned against your lips as you inhaled a big pull from the scented paper. 

“Thanks.” 

You smiled at him as the smoke poured out of your mouth and you offered him your olive branch, a hit. 

He took it with ease and deeply breathed into his lungs to expand his chest. 

Your closeness was now inching dangerous territory. His fingers grazing yours with every pass of the small object burning between you. That’s what always been going on, burning between you, passion, former hatred, sparks. 

“Here, I’ll help you since it got smaller. Open your mouth.” Seungcheol whispering now, his breath hot on your cheeks. 

You just obliged, feeling a little insecure with your mouth open wide watching the smoke leave his lips, you inhaled. 

Maybe it was the high, the setting, or the alcohol finally setting in, but you needed his mouth on yours. 

“Will you kiss me?” 

Without a word from his lips, they came smashing onto yours and before you knew it you were kissing the enemy. 

The feeling of him on you left you with a high you’ve never felt before. He never let go before you were ready, his hands found their natural space on your hips. 

“Can I confess something, y/n?” 

Snuggling into his embrace you nod against his chest, as you fiddle with the ties of his sweatshirt 

“I was only mean to you in college because I had a crush on you. And if we were sober right now, I’d ask you to come back to my place, because I just love being around you.” 

Suddenly your hands stopped moving and he knew he had missed his chance at a confession once again. His arms scooped you up and carried you all the way into your blissful night of sleep in the good guest room. Little did he know you had been awake the whole time and didn’t sleep a minute.

Feeling the way he kissed you when you got too drunk had to mean something.

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