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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

✩₊˚.⋆⁺₊✧ Merry Christmas everyone ✩₊˚.⋆⁺₊✧

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reade rWord Count: 7 K Warnings: None. Prompt: Where does your hear lay? Who does it belong to? This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 26: Hooked on a feeling

Thursday, November 25th, 1976

As you walked back to the common room with your friends, Sirius didn’t let go of your hand at all. Remus, who had been the one with the idea, stood rather close to the two of you, and the rest also kept a close eye on you. Especially Peter who seemed to have been altered by the whole situation.

By the time you’d got to the common room you were a lot more relaxed, there was something about walking with your friends that just made you feel instantly better, even if you weren’t saying much. You easily realised how fast Remus had driven the subject of the conversation to something else, being backed up by Sirius who didn’t shut up about the new songs he’d gotten from his cousin Andromeda, it all had helped you order your thoughts better.

Yes, you hadn’t been paying attention to the strength of your spell, and yes, it had been quite strong, enough to push Evan back a couple of metres but not enough to really hurt him, it had probably stung like a bitch, but looking at things from a different perspective, he might have been more pissed because he lost, and because you had helped turn off the fire with your relashio, than he had been hurt by your spell. In fact, even if Seraphina had practically dragged him out of the classroom, he had been walking when he left.

And then you remembered the way he had laughed at your attempts to open the door of the shack and you almost thought he actually deserved it, even if your intention had never been to actually hurt him. And then you remembered Barty, and you knew he’d be absolutely pissed at you which had you shiver and inch just a little closer to Sirius.

He gave you a rather puzzled look, wondering what could have been going on in your mind before squeezing your hand comfortingly.

Eventually, you all ended up in the common room, Remus pulled out the food from his backpack and handed it over to you. They had picked sandwiches, sausages, bacon and a lot of other tasty, meaty treats. You almost laughed, they had noticed that you had been craving meat, and they had gone and picked probably every single thing with it on the meal.

When the girls had gone off to the library together, James, who had been sitting on the rug as he snuck some of the treats from your plate when he thought you weren’t looking, leaned in to ask “How did it go with Ricchie?”

You looked around for a second, making sure there was no one listening in, and responded “he’s on board, he said it’d be hard to convince the headless hunt.”

James smiled “knew you could convince him,” he said as he pulled back “You’re damn good at that.”

“I guess I am,” you smiled. quite pleased with yourself, “Does that mean I’m playing on Sunday?”

James laughed as he shook his head in disbelief “Don’t push your luck Vixi, you might be charming, but it depends on how you know what is looking by then.”

You huffed in response, and let yourself lean back in between Sirius and Remus as you took another sausage and started to munch on it “When will you go get the recipes?” You asked, turning to Remus.

“After dinner,” he said, “you think your talk with Nightshade will be done by then?”

You took a deep breath “I certainly hope it will… Oh, by the way, I found the perfect place to brew the potion…”

“Really, where?” Sirius asked casually.

“There’s a secret room near the Prefect Bathrooms, Richie showed me,” you started “It’s very small, kinda like a map room, with lots of forbidden books hidden in there, I assume Richie was as much of a trouble maker as you lot when he was alive…”

“Kinda like a map room?” he asked again, you had piqued his curiosity.

“You lot?! As if you weren’t included…” mumbled James.

You threw him a wink and turned back to Sirius “Well, it’s got a massive table in the centre, perfect for maps or large parchments and things like that,” you explained, “but I also saw a few potion things on the corner, I mean of course there’s no sink or anything like that, but I’m sure we can make do with what we have, it’s perfect! Completely away from prying eyes too. And you know people barely even cross that hallway anyway…”

“Well I guess you’ll show me your secret room and I’ll show you our secret map,” Remus said with a shrug.

“We’re showing her the map?” Peter asked.

James nodded “Indeed we are little Wormtail, it was an executive decision since she’s now an Honourable Marauder.”

“Wait! Really?” you asked, with a small gasp.

Sirius nodded, wrapping his arm over your shoulder, leaving his hand near your neck so as not to touch your wounded arm and smiled at you “You didn’t know?” he tsked.

You shook your head, “but it’s only natural, isn’t it? You know my secret now,” Remus said calmly.

“Lily does too,” you replied “And she’s not a-“

“And then there’s Vixen,” Peter said matter of factly, cutting you off mid-sentence.

“Aaaaand you’re going to do your first official Marauders Prank tomorrow,” Sirius finished.

“But… this- this feels like… It’s like being knighted or something…”

That got a chuckle from every single one of the boys, James stood up then, taking his wand in his hand, you looked at him puzzled when he extended his arm with his hand and placed it over your shoulder “Lady Vixen…” he started.

“What? Prongs you’re insane!”

“Shut up,” he said simply, and cleared his throat “Lady Vixen,” he repeated the same actions as before “I hereby declare you an honourable member of The Marauders,” he finished.

“As an official member, I ratify the decree,” Remus added.

“I ratify it a second time,” Peter added.

Sirius looked at you with a teasing smile “I don’t know about that…” he started but laughed mid-sentence when he saw the stares from all of his friends “All right… All right… I ratify the decree a third time, Kit’s one of us now.”

James smiled “Settled then, you can now know about the map.”

“Which map?” You asked, curiosity taking the best of you.

“Not yet,” Remus said “She’ll see it in due time.”

“Oh! You’re such a tease!” you said, leaning back in between Remus and Sirius again, crossing your arms over each other with a small pout, which just got Remus to chuckle, you looked way too adorable.

Then the clock chimed in “Dinner time,” Peter said with a smile.

James stood up “Sounds brilliant, I’m famished.”

“You’ve been eating my food since we got here,” you teased. He looked at you in shock, as if he was surprised he hadn’t been as sneaky as he thought he had been. The rest of the boys just laughed.

“No, I haven’t.” James said casually “must have imagined it.”

You just laughed at the seriousness he used to say it “So you’re saying I hallucinated it?”

James nodded “Indeed you have, perhaps we really should take you to Pomfrey.”

“All right Prongs, whatever you say,” you responded.

You separated from the boys when Marlene waved at you to sit right next to her, she wanted to ask you about learning to use confringo, and you spent the rest of the dinner discussing some advanced duelling spells with her, Beth, Lily and Mary had joined in the conversation a little later on and you discovered you all knew some spells the others didn’t.

“We should study them together,” Beth said “Find a quiet place and practice so we become better duelists.” Beth had joined the duelling club a couple of weeks before you had.

“I’d tag along with you girls,” Mary quipped “It’s always useful to know a thing or two about defending yourself, could help me brush up on my curses and hexes for next year’s N.E.W.T.S.”

“It’s a fantastic idea indeed,” Lily said “I say we do it.”

“Really?” You asked her a little surprised.

“Yeah, we could make our own little duelling club,” she said “Seems useful for the times we’re living in.”

Mary’s face turned a little sour. “I’d rather not talk about the times we’re living in.”

You were about to say something else when you felt a hand on your shoulder, you looked up and swallowed, it was Professor Nightshade, “Have you finished your meal?” she asked politely. You nodded in response. “Good, please follow me to my office.”

Lily gave you a worried look but you gave her a smile in return, whatever punishment she was going to give you, it couldn’t be too bad. “I’ll just take something for the way,” you told her, stood up and walked towards the boys, leaning in to grab an apple from the bowl right next to Remus “Where are we regrouping?" you whispered.

"Give me your hand," he said.

You turned to look at Nightshade, she was tapping her feet as she stood near the girls and looked, you swallowed, but instantly did as asked. Remus took your hand and placed a small, crescent moon bead that he took from his pocket, allowing his fingers to linger on your palm for a little too long before he spoke again.

"Keep it with you, we’ll find you."

You frowned, giving him a puzzled look, but turned back at Nightshade who looked like she was losing her temper and you nodded, Remus heard you say something like "Sorry Professor, I was looking for the right one," as you approached her with what he assumed was another one of those charming apologetic smiles of yours.

"You gave her your charm," Sirius said as he saw you go.

"So we can find her after the library," Remus responded, turning back to the other boy, "you ready?"

Sirius smirked "I’m always ready, Moons. But we need to get the cloak first."

"And the map," the other boy added. “Prongs and Wormtail will be working on the escape plan all night, you’ll join them and practise the spells afterwards, right?"

Sirius nodded in return, “You’ll stay with Vixen and prepare the potion,” he then hesitated for a second “Ask her if she’s all right for me?” Remus gave Sirius a frown, and the blue-eyed boy took a deep breath, “She’s always at ease when you’re around, and for some reason, I feel like she would tell you if–”

Remus shook his head “–She wouldn’t.��

“No, but I’m sure, you even told me about that time after practice that-“

“–Pads.” Remus said calmly “She’s not going to tell me shit, not this time.”

“But–“

“-It’s because it was me,” the taller boy explained. “She won’t say shit because I was the one to scratch her, I’m the reason she’s hurt.”

“That’s not fair,” Sirius countered, “You didn’t mean to, she knows it.”

“And that’s exactly why she wouldn’t tell me if she was off,” Remus sighed “She doesn’t want me to feel bad about it, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by making her lie.” Yeah, Remus knew what it was like to lie to his friends about the way he was feeling, he knew what it was like to feel the need to do it as if not to worry them, he didn’t want you to go through that, especially since he had been the one to hurt you in the first place.

Sirius sighed, leaning against the table, holding his head up with his hands, his beautiful curls cascading around his face and spilling between his fingers. Remus stared, almost enthralled by the beauty of his friend before speaking again.

“She knew, you know?” he said suddenly.

“She knew what?” Sirius asked, pulling his head up to look at Remus straight in the eyes.

“She knew I was a werewolf,” the boy admitted. “When she arrived at the Shack and cranked the door open, she was relieved to see me for a whole of like 60 seconds before she realised how screwed she was.”

“But how?!” the blue-eyed boy asked, confused.

“At first I thought it had been you–“ Remus admitted.

“I would never!”

“I know,” Remus agreed “But you can’t blame me for thinking it a possibility, especially with how close you are to each other.”

“But you should know I would never, especially after the-“

“–I know.” Remus cut him off, a little sharper now, he did not want to talk about the prank.

“Then how did she find out?”

“She guessed it,” Remus said with a tight lip smile, surprise and unbelievability spilling from his voice. Had Sirius not been paying attention to how attractive his friend looked with that smile on his face perhaps he would have realised the way Remus had said it sounded an awful lot like someone who had a crush “She said it was in the infirmary, last full moon.”

Sirius almost winced “After the ring incident…”

“I highly doubt it was just the ring incident,” Remus reassured, “Anyway, my point is… she knew, and she didn’t tell anyone about it. She didn’t ask me, she didn’t ask you. All because she didn’t want to put us in an awkward position.”

Sirius sighed, slumping his shoulders as he did “She’s a considerate idiot.”

Remus laughed and nodded. After a couple of seconds of silence, he tilted his head just a little, effectively getting Sirius’ attention back on him. As much as he hated to admit it, he loved it when Sirius looked at him like that. “Let’s get the cloak then…” he said with a mischievous smile.

“Let’s get the cloak,” Sirius responded with an equally mischievous grin.

You had been the one to enter her office first, Nightshade trailing behind just to shut the door as she entered the room and walked towards her chair. She must have been just as tall as you, regardless, she carried herself in a way that made you feel smaller, almost intimidated, perhaps it had to do with how beautiful she was. You remember feeling like the time you met Walburga a couple of years ago, Nightshade had the same imposing aura, except she carried a hint of peacefulness to her, rather than the unhinged chaos that hid behind Walburga’s eyes.

You swallowed as she continued walking all the way to her desk, she didn’t walk behind it though, she instead leaned back on it, elegance unmatched, “Miss (Y/LN).”

You didn’t say a word, instead, you nodded in acknowledgement, letting her know you were listening even if your voice refused to come out.

“You must know why I brought you here.”

“Because I used a very strong, downright almost-illegal hex on Evan Rosier.”

She laughed, a graceful laugh that you were not expecting to hear “That’s not why you’re here.”

“I’m sorry?! I thought you would– I thought I was here because… if it’s not that, then why?”

“Take a guess,” she said with a playful smile. You weren’t sure if you were intimidated by it or not.

“Because of the classes I missed? I’m sorry about that, it was really something unexpected and I–“

“That’s not it either.”

“Then I– I don’t understand–“

“How’s your shoulder?” She asked casually.

“It’s a lot better,” you said before you turned to look at her in shock. “How did you…”

“You’re not the only one that’s friends with the ghosts darling,” she said. “Come over, let me check it.”

You did as told, unbuttoning your blouse for her to inspect your wound “Is that why I’m here?” you asked as she carefully unrolled the bandage.

“Damocles Belby came to me on Tuesday, knocking on the door very early in the morning,” she started, “he said you had gone to the forbidden forest to get an ingredient for a potion, and that you hadn’t returned when you told him you would,” you winced as her hand graced over one of the injured sections “he told me what he wanted and why he wanted it for. I knew in an instant either Remus had told you about his condition or that you had guessed yourself.”

“You know about–“

“Of course I do. I’m the teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts. I was informed the moment I got here.”

“And Dumbledore just told you?!” you scoffed, sounding a little more offended and angry than you intended.

She chuckled in return, “We go way back,” she said with a small smile “Either way, when you didn’t get to class I started to worry,” she continued “But I went over to check on Remus on the infirmary and he was calm enough, I knew he hadn’t hurt you, or at least that he hadn’t hurt you lethaIIy.”

“If you knew I was hurt, then why did you put me in a duel against Evan?”

“I didn’t think either of you would go as hard as you did on each other,” she admitted “and I wanted to know if you really were hurt.”

“Is that why you placed your hand over my shoulder and helped me up?”

“You almost had me fooled,” she admitted “I would have bought your act had it not been for the reactions of your friends.”

A small smile played on your lips, you were proud.

“You’re a strong one Miss (Y/LN),” she said as she inspected the wound “Whoever did the healing, is incredible at it,” she said casually “I’ve never seen a werewolf infringed wound looking so good after such little time.”

You didn’t say a word which just got another small smile from her. She liked that you wouldn’t speak, it showed your strength of character and stubbornness.

“Fine then, do not tell me,” she added as she started wrapping the bandage again “You know it will scar, right?”

“Yes…” you responded.

“And you don’t care?” she pressed.

You turned to her, holding her stare as you clenched your jaw, what kind of question is that?, you thought. “I don’t,” you said simply, “If it had been anyone else perhaps I–“You stopped yourself from talking, she did not need to hear your inner monologue. “Why am I here?” you asked as you pulled back and started buttoning your blouse back up.

“Because I wanted to know something…”

“And that is?”

“Tell me, do you believe in bIood purity?”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit,” you said simply.

She didn’t react, her face plain “Bold of you to say, when you come from a pure-bIood family.”

“It’s because I come from one that I know it’s bullshit, I know wizards twice as good as me that are not purebloods.”

She hummed, “I don’t think many wizards can be twice as good as you.”

“You can think whatever you like,” you spat, you had always liked Professor Nightshade, admired her even, but you didn’t like the way she was speaking right now, it made you wary.

“I like your bite,” she informed. “You could be really useful, you know...”

“For who?”

She smiled at the way you had asked, so forward “I can teach you,” She said, “Personal classes, one-on-one, I can make you the best duelist to ever walk out of this school…”

“And at what cost?”

“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

“I have places to be, things to do, friends to see, don’t you?”

She laughed, diverted at how serious you were being “Dumbledore.” You blinked a couple of times after she spoke. “You’d be working for Dumbledore.”

You looked at her, pupils moving fast as you thought about what she said “You’re not recruiting me for my talent,” you said then “you want me for my name, for my father’s contacts.”

“Nothing slips past you, does it?” she said with a smile “but I wouldn’t be talking to you if you weren’t talented.”

You squared your shoulders but didn’t say a thing.

“So… What do you say?”

Remus and Sirius had gotten the cloak and were already halfway through the passageways that would lead them to the library. Once they were about to get into the hallway, Sirius pulled the cloak from his backpack and handed it over to Remus, who, since he was the taller of the two, was almost always the one to accommodate it.

Back when they were smaller it was way easier to get inside the cloak, in fact, the four boys would do it often, and they had no issues fitting in and still being completely invisible. The last time they tried to do it, no matter how close they stood to each other, someone’s shoes ended up being visible. That’s why they resorted to going two at a time, knowing full well that three was their max.

Remus took the cloak and unfolded it in a swift motion, wrapping it around Sirius and himself in a movement that he had done so many times before that it made him look as elegant as a professional muggle magician wrapping his beautiful assistant for a trick.

Sirius looked up at him with a teasing smile as he finished adjusting the cloak, “Let’s go then.”

The two boys walked outside of the hole in the wall and walked alongside each other with practice ease. Remus was awful close to Sirius under the cloak, it was one of the reasons he’d almost always volunteer to go when he did, even if he was feeling off, hanging out with the boy always made him feel better. Either because of the jokes he’d cracked or because of the sheer excitement of just being close to him.

Sirius heard a sound and stopped abruptly, placing a hand over his mouth to silently indicate to him to keep quiet. Remus, who was not expecting the sudden movement, collided with him, his nose almost crashing into Sirius’ head. He got a whiff of his scent, the one of pine trees, musk and a tinge of leather that you loved so much and he had to shut his eyes close to try and regain his stance. Sirius had no clue the effect he had on people. Or perhaps he did know the effect he had on people, since he often used it to his advantage, he just didn’t know the effect he had on Remus. After a second, the boy nodded and the two continued walking, once they had successfully gotten into the restricted section of the library, Remus took the cloak off the two of them.

Sirius leaned closer, placing his hand on Remus’ shoulder to prompt his friend to bend down, when Remus obliged, he tilted his head towards the boy, his long locks brushing against Remus’ shoulder and cheeks. And while Remus was used to this, Sirius was touchy, he’d always been, and he probably always would be, it didn’t stop the shiver that went down his spine when Sirius finally whispered in his ear “Let’s split, I’ll find the potions book, you find the charms one.”

When Sirius finally pulled back, his hand still on Remus’ shoulder, the boy nodded “Keep the cloak,” he suggested “My disillusionment charm is better.”

Sirius arched his eyebrows, diverted. “You should see Vixen’s, she was never spoiled with James’ invisibility cloak like you and I.”

“Bet hers is even better,” Remus said and gave Sirius a wink before casting the spell and becoming almost imperceptible to Sirius. He blinked a few times, staring at nothing for a couple of seconds before he turned around to look for the book. But as he did, he couldn’t help but replay Remus’ wink and smile in his head, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen that expression on his friend’s face. Or perhaps he had seen it, he’d just never observed it properly. And it had certainly never lingered in his head like it had that day.

But he shook those weird thoughts off and went straight to look for the book, using his wand to light the names of the tomes as he looked through the different potion books available. He skipped through Potionology: Crafting Magic in a Bottle and Secrets of the Cauldron. There had to be something wrong with the way the books in the section were ordered since none of them followed the standard alphabetical order arrangements normal bookshelves had.

He considered using Accio to get the book he was looking for, but it hadn’t worked last time, and most of the restricted section books had anti-summoning charms since they had to be kept away from most students’ hands. So he instead kept looking, making his lumus just a little more powerful so he could see a bit more of the books at the same time.

Remus was on the far left corner of the room, looking through the charm books to try and find the right one when he heard a noise coming from the other side of the library. It had been faint, so faint that he wouldn’t have noticed it, had it not been because of his acute hearing. Sometimes being a monster came with its perks.

He knew the sound was far away, so far that it wouldn’t be a problem for either of them if it didn’t get closer, so he kept his ears perked as he continued to look for the book. It didn’t take him much, since he knew exactly what he had been looking for. In fact, they had borrowed that same book a couple of times before, and it had a rather distinctive bright red cover, with shiny black details, it was almost impossible to miss. He took it out from its spot on the bookshelf, being careful not to make as much noise as he did, and then he placed it in his bag.

But that’s when he heard it, the sound from earlier had been steps. Steps that were approaching them pretty damn fast. Remus looked around, trying to find Sirius, and the boy was still looking for the book with his wand brightly lit, completely unaware of the sounds that were so clearly drumming in Remus’ ears. “Fuck,” he whispered as he started speed walking towards his friend.

Thud, thud, thud, the steps echoed ominously, growing closer and faster with each passing moment. Remus increased his peace, trying to get to Sirius before whoever was stepping closer to them did.

Remus looked around, trying to find him, and he was still looking for the book with his wand brightly lit, completely unaware of the approaching danger. Thud, thud, THUD, it was getting closer, so close Remus had to improvise.

He grabbed the cloak and repeated the same motion he had done earlier, wrapping it around the two of them in a second, but not measuring his strength, he ended up pressing Sirius against the bookshelf, the boy was about to protest, but Remus heard the steps getting even closer, so he placed one hand on Sirius’ mouth and the other one, he wrapped around the light still coming from the boy’s wand.

Sirius was shocked at first. It’s not that it was weird for Remus to stand so close to him, in fact, the line of personal space had been rather blurry between them for the longest time –especially with how handsy Sirius was all the time– but this was different. The way Remus was pressing onto him reminded him an awful lot of the way he pressed himself onto you sometimes. Sirius almost panicked, breath hitched in his throat when he turned his icy blue eyes to Moony’s face.

He was towering above him, breath steady as he looked to the side, head slightly tilted as he listened on. The footsteps were finally becoming audible for Sirius as well, but even if he was hearing them, he wasn’t quite registering them, he was too busy staring at Remus. He swallowed, focusing his eyes on Remus’s lips for a second before turning back to his eyes, feeling panic at the thoughts surging through his head.

For the first time in a while, Sirius was completely frozen in place, not knowing exactly what to do in a situation like this. He wondered if Prongs had been the one doing the same thing, what would’ve been his reaction. How different would it have been from the reaction he’d given Wormtail? What if it was you?

Remus, who had been focusing on the steps rather than on the way he had trapped Sirius between his arms, seemed to finally understand the position he had placed his friend in. But even if he could feel most of Sirius’s chest against his own, and how their legs were almost intertwined with each other, he had to focus on the situation at hand. Luckily Remus was resourceful enough to be able to focus on one thing at a time, and right at that moment, the approaching steps seemed to be a priority.

The sound was so close now, even Sirius managed to free himself from the trance and turned his eyes to the creak of the metal door being opened. It was Professor Spellman, Remus realised. The man strolled in casually and started looking through the shelves with the light of a small kerosene lantern.

When he got closer to the place where both boys stood, Remus pressed himself a little closer to Sirius, their heads so close Sirius could feel Monny’s breath on his ear. He could also feel the soft rise and fall of his friend’s chest against his own. For some reason the image of Remus’ pirate costume came to his mind, how both you and him had tried to fix his collar when Remus stepped away and took some distance. Remus certainly didn’t seem to care about the closeness now.

Remus could feel Sirius’ curls tickling his cheeks, and he could also feel the way Sirius’ breath had caught in his throat. He could sense out the scent of his shampoo, and he also smelled a little of you. No, your smell was all over Sirius just like Sirius’ smell was almost always all over you. It was an absolutely intoxicating mix, downright bewitching. So much so that he almost leaned closer to bury his head on Sirius’ neck when he realised what he was doing and leaned to the side instead, pretending like he was just looking at Spellman.

Sirius eventually let go of the initial shock, and even if his heart was pounding against his chest, he managed to maintain a slow, regular breathing pattern, as if not to call the attention of Spellman. He had practice already, he’d been in one too many dangerous and exciting situations, being just about to get caught wasn’t foreign to him. What was foreign, is how weird being so close to Remus made him feel.

Which is why he did the only thing he knew worked in situations like that, and he decided to make a joke of his feelings and thoughts instead of dealing with them. He vividly remembered his own reaction to you doing this to him, he wanted to see if Remus would keep his composure if he did the exact same thing.

Sirius Black might give me a heart attack, Remus thought as he felt the way the blue-eyed boy shifted around. And then, all of a sudden, he felt it; wet and sticky, did he just fucking lick my hand? Remus wondered. But decided he might have imagined it. Except he felt it a second time around. He frowned, turning around to see if Spellman was still close, when he realised he was just far enough, he tightened his grip around the boy’s mouth “Sirius. Behave!” Remus berated in a low demanding voice.

Not Pads, not Siri, but Sirius, your boyfriend realised as his breath hitched in his throat yet again. The way Remus Lupin had said that straight up sent a shiver down his spine. He gulped and obediently shut his mouth.

Remus, on the other hand, was really trying to maintain his steady breath. Even, as he felt his heart hammering against his chest. It was so loud to him, he wondered if Spellman could hear it because Sirius had to be hearing it. At least he could chuck it to the brink of almost being caught. Eventually, the professor grabbed a book and walked outside.

When the thumps of his footsteps sounded far enough, he finally pulled his hand from Sirius’ mouth, looking at the boy straight in the eye as he continued breathing heavily. He pulled back as well, finally letting the space normal friends would keep when hanging around each other. Sirius almost missed the closeness, no he did miss the closeness, which was even worse.

“You got the book?” Remus asked before either of them could say something weird. Sirius shook his head and the two of them started to look for the book. Both still under the cloak, both still so dangerously close to each other that, had any of the two wanted, they would have been able to bask in each other’s warmth. But both kept their distanc, both too scared of what the other might have been thinking.

“It’s here,” Sirius said as he pulled the book from the shelf “The Alchemist’s Grimoire, right?”

Remus nodded, “Let’s get out of here.”

You were walking back to the common room when you felt someone’s hand on your arm, yanking you towards their chest. You didn’t have to even look to know it had been Sirius. His cologne filling your nostrils the moment you were wrapped inside the cloak, “So you did find me,” you said turning to Remus, who was also under the cloak, he was placing a piece of parchment behind him, tucking it in between his pants and sweater.

“How was the talk? You’ve got detention?” Sirius asked, moving you to stand right in between the two of them. You felt a little squeezed and thought it was weird since normally Sirius would just stand behind you, but shrugged it off.

“No,” you said “She actually wanted to train me,” you explained “She said I could make a fine duelist.”

“She’s not wrong,” Remus said simply. You turned to him with eyebrows raised “What? We all saw the way you quashed Evan.”

“That wasn’t… never mind, how was your incursion in the library?” you asked, drifting the subject away. Both boys tensed up, you probably wouldn’t have noticed, but you were quite literally pressed in between the two “That bad?”

“Spellman,” Remus said, “He walked inside while we were still looking, we had to stay very still under the cloak for a long while.”

“Oh, must have been fun,” you joked with a teasing smile, but neither of them reacted, which had you side-eye the two with a bit of a frown.

“You bet,” Remus responded after a rather long silence. You frowned, something was definitely off between the two. Did they fight? And if they did, over what? you thought, even if “fight” wasn’t exactly the vibe you were getting.

The three of you continued walking for a while, “this is my stop,” Sirius said suddenly, the three of you stopped walking, and Sirius placed his hand on your shoulder to guide you closer to the entrance of the passageway he’d take back to the dorms.

“This is for you,” Remus said as he pulled out the charms book from his shoulder bag, Sirius took it and gave him the other book in return. You observed their interactions with squinted eyes, they were both a little stiff, robotic. Especially Sirius, actually, it might have just been Sirius, Remus did look a little fazed but he always did after the full moon, and it had barely been a couple of days since the incident either way.

“Mind if I steal her for a minute?” Sirius said as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside the passage along with him. You gave Remus a questioning look and he just shrugged, allowing Sirius to basically pull you all the way to the other side, letting the tapesry to fall back into place, giving you both just enough privacy.

You managed to barely give Sirius a look before he had you pinned against the cold stone wall and leaned into you. You didn’t even have a chance to gasp before he swallowed the sound by clashing his mouth into yours. Sirius hadn’t kissed you that hungrily since, perhaps a couple of days ago when you were still craving meat above anything else, but even back then, it had been you the one that had started the kiss. The one time he had kissed you, remotely like that, had perhaps been at the Halloween Party…

You knew something was up, but you couldn’t help but melt into the kiss either way, perhaps he was just too stressed after almost being caught and he wanted a way to find release. And no, using you as a relief of stress was not at all making you feel bad, in fact, you kind of enjoyed being able to help him, to anchor him.

Sirius pushed even closer to you, sliding his knee in between your legs as he placed both hands on your face, angling it however he pleased, you let him, in fact, you enjoyed it. The way he kissed you made you feel giddy and excited and almost weak on the knees. You wrapped your hands around his neck, using him as support as you brushed your fingers on the nape of his neck. He responded by pressing his hips to you, probably involuntarily, but you had noticed he absolutely loved it when you placed your fingers there, under his beautiful black locks, so you did it when you wanted a reaction from him.

He accidentally brushed your wounded shoulder, and you winced, “Sorry,” he mumbled, separating from your mouth for just enough to be able to say the words and going straight back to kissing you, letting his hands wrap around your waist instead. You didn’t realise until much later that Sirius had not once, in the many times he kissed you after you got hurt, been so careless with his kisses, so needy.

But you didn’t care, you couldn’t care, really. Not with the way he had you pressed against the stone wall, not with the way he had his lips moving around yours in such a demanding way, not with the way he smelled. And boy, did he smell fucking delicious that day. It was his normal cologne, the smell of musk and leather, but there was something else in the mix too, something you couldn’t quite place. Or perhaps it was something that your brain just didn’t want to place, since it was Remus. What you were smelling, the one thing that was different had been there just because of the way Moony had pressed Sirius against the wall. But you didn’t know, and there was no way you realised either way. Not with the way Sirius’s kiss made your mind foggy.

When he finally broke the kiss, the two of you were panting, and he started placing soft, butterfly kisses all over your face. He looked at you with a lovesick smile “You’re stunning, you know that?” he asked.

You blushed, as if it was possible to blush even more than you already had, but you somehow managed to sober up from the kiss and placed your hand on his cheek, he keened to the touch, still with a smile as he looked at you with those beautiful icy-blue eyes of his, shining brightly in the dark room “Are you okay Puppy?” you asked, a small smile forming in your face.

Sirius’ smile faltered for only a second, as if he had remembered something and he nodded “More than perfect,” he smirked, “especially after that kiss.” His tone had changed, he was flirting, he was distracting you.

You averted your gaze, sometimes you were weaker to his advances, sometimes his flirting affected you a lot more than normally, even if you should’ve already gotten used to it. But there was something still bothering you in the back of your head and you turned back to look at him, “Are you sure?”

Sirius smiled at your concern, but also because whatever had him feeling so off minutes earlier, was gone, you were there, and he wanted to kiss you, not Moony, but you. So whatever that had been, must have been a spur-of-the-moment thing, he was utterly and irrevocably in love with you, which meant there was no way he liked Remus. Because you couldn’t like two people at the same time, that was impossible… right?

“Absolutely,” he said, placing another one of those quick wet kisses, this time to your lips, “Moony’s waiting outside for you luv, aren’t you planning to go?”

You tilted your head, a small scoff slipping from your lips “You’re the one that cornered me in the dark hallway Puppy.”

He hummed as he tilted his head “You want another kiss don’t you, little Kit?” he teased after hearing the nickname.

You shrugged, ignoring the pain from your shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear “Maybe later lover boy, we’ve got work to do,” you said in what you hoped was a seductive tone before leaning in and placing a soft kiss in his mouth. Seconds after you disappeared through the curtain.

Sirius looked at you, frozen in place again, mouth agape as he saw the tapestry shut behind you. He swallowed, face stoic once more, the way you had whispered in his ear, had reminded him an awful lot of the way Remus had earlier, softer, almost like a purr rather than a demanding bark, but both had felt as intimate as the other. Both equally shiver inducing.

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A/N: Merry Christmas Guys! Thought of giving you a special little Christmas gift today, hope you enjoy, and you're all having the happiest of times. If you are not thought, that is alright, and my DMs are ALWAYS open in case you wanna talk about it. -> AHHHH Sirius’ gay panic, I hope I got this one right, I’ve been wanting to post this since I wrote it a few weeks ago… how do you like it? Lilly xxx

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makeitmingi · 3 months

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The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 11]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.3K

You tilted your head, staring at the bouquet that was now sitting in a glass vase on your counter top.

"Staring at it isn't going to make it grow legs and walk, darling." Seonghwa chuckled from behind you. You rolled your eyes, straightening up and turning to walk to the fridge. You grabbed a tray out and put it on the island.

"I'm still in shock, Hwa. A little empathy or even sympathy would be greatly appreciated. I've never gotten flowers from anyone before." You said.

"Wow...."

"You don't count." You hissed. You grabbed another tray from the fridge. But this one was covered with aluminium foil.

"What are you trying?" Seonghwa rounded the counter and came back to where you were, peering over your shoulder. You removed the foil to show him the second tray.

"I'm trying to see if I prefer the flavour of a dry brine compared to a wet brine for monk fish." You explained.

"Because it's meatier and tougher?" He tilted his head. You nodded.

"Usually for fish, we use a wet brine but since monk fish is so firm and can act like chicken or red meat, I was thinking if a dry brine might enhance the flavour a little more." You said. You took the pieces of fish out of the flavoured water, patting it dry between two pieces of kitchen roll.

"What's in the dry brine?" Seonghwa asked, taking a brush to help you brush off the salt seasoning mix on the surface of the fish. He wasn't going to wash it or it would get rid of too much flavour.

"One has salt, white pepper, kombu, dried shiitake. The other has salt, black pepper, rosemary, thyme, bay leaf, garlic and a hint of sweet paprika."

"Not smoked?" He turned to you.

"No, as much as I wanted a herbier, heavy flavour combination, I didn't want to overpower the flavour of the fish." You shrugged.

"Good choice. Especially since the monk fish can be sweet, it only enhances the natural sea water flavour that's already there." Seonghwa hummed.

"How should I cook it without impacting the flavour...?" You scratched your head.

"Ooh, you're making me think of a monk fish curry now." Seonghwa smiled, almost drooling at the thought.

"I said I don't want to impart any of flavours, Hwa. If we make a curry, all the dry brine flavour will be overpowered." You slapped his arm. In the end, you decided to lightly steam half of them and pan sear the other half. Seonghwa helped you manage the pan.

"As much as we should, we shouldn't baste it. Even butter will affect the taste." Seonghwa said. You agreed. When the fish came out, you left it to rest for a few minutes.

"So, you want to talk about that?" Seonghwa nodded over to the vase of flowers you were looking at.

"What's there to talk about except why did you put it in a vase?" You raised an eyebrow.

"You just left it on the table, sweetheart. They'll die if you just leave it like that, you have to put them in some water to let them survive." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, so you're the flower expert now?" You asked.

"We're digressing here... Tell me what he said to you when he gave you the flowers." He said.

"I already told you. He wanted to 'cheer me up' and give me energy so he got me sunflowers. And he thought sugary sweets would also do the trick so he got me donuts, which were rather tasty, by the way. I'll be curious to try more flavours from the shop." You shrugged and took the tray of fish to start slicing.

"And what did you reply to that?"

"I said thanks and split the donuts with him. You know I don't eat sugary things much... What else was there for me to say or respond to him?" You questioned.

"Well, I guess it's the first time he's seen you in your... grumpy tantrum mode..." Seonghwa sighed.

"I wasn't grumpy and/or throwing a tantrum." You frowned.

"Sweetheart, there was a literal dark cloud floating above your head." Seonghwa chuckled. You glared at him with a small pout before focusing back on slicing the fish pieces.

"Okay but that's all? You didn't say anything else?" Seonghwa went back to the topic.

"Oh. I... patted him on the head..." You said, remembering your actions. Seonghwa's eyes widened before he burst out laughing at your words. You sent him a flat look for laughing at you. You ignored him and put the fish slices on plates.

"HE'S NOT A LITERAL DOG, (Y/N)!" He exclaimed amidst his laughter. You felt your cheeks heat up at his words.

"I know! I didn't mean to, I don't know what came over me so I just reached out to pat his head. It's not my fault he caught me as I was snoozing." You muttered.

"Still... You must have surprised him." He laughed, wiping a tear that had formed in the corner of his eye.

"Now that you're done laughing at me. Here." You handed Seonghwa a fork with gritted teeth. You both dug into the fish, quietly tasting and savouring each one for their different tastes.

"Oh, wow." You were amazed.

"The different dry brines bring out such different flavours." Seonghwa said as he chewed.

"Between the dry brines, the delicate seasoning of the kombu one fits steaming method while the heavier seasoning benefits from the pan sear." You noted.

"I think because the pan sear toasts the herb flavour on there like how we usually toast our herbs to bring out the aromatic oils. So after searing this piece, you taste a lot more rosemary, thyme and paprika." Seonghwa theorised. You nodded your head, writing all this down in your iPad journal.

"It takes on more flavour with the dry brines. But the texture is softer with the wet brine." Seonghwa took another piece.

"I think the dry brine has been able to remove more moisture so it's firmer in texture. If serving on it's own, I would like the dry brine. In stews or curries, wet brine for sure." You concluded.

"Should we do something with monkfish for tomorrow's dinner service then?" He suggested.

"Lotte à l'Armoricaine (French tomato based stew cooked with white wine and monkfish)?" You looked through your recipe archives.

"Good idea. Since it is served with rice. I think customers will like that." Seonghwa nodded, moving to start on the dishes. You took a piece of paper to write this down.

"The supplier said he has some nice pears so shall we make baesuk for dessert (Korean poached pears)?"

"Yeah. What will you poach them in?" He asked.

"If we go Korean inspired, I think a light honey, ginger poaching liquid. Maybe add some pink peppercorns instead of black peppercorns for a more berry-like flavour. We can accompany it with yuja sherbet and candied ginger." You said.

"That sounds good."

"I think we should do burgers tomorrow. Cheese stuffed burgers with bacon on top and caramelised onions. Koreans love burgers and fries." Seonghwa laughed.

"That doesn't sound too bad though. But I'd hate to be the one stuck on deep fryer duty." You cringed.

"We should do at least one savoury dish that has Korean flavours." Seonghwa reminded.

"Hmm... Scallop, kombu angel hair with perilla oil? It's light on the taste buds." You scrunched your nose, trying to come up with a dish and flavour profile.

"That'll work. I was thinking for appetisers, we can do mussammari (Julienned vegetables wrapped in a thin slice of pickled radish) with a gochujang sauce." He finished the dishes and sat with you.

"I like that. We can grill pork collar with salsa verde. And beef carpaccio with brine tomatoes and shredded shiso leaf." You turned to him. Seonghwa thought about the flavour profiles and nodded while you wrote it down. If Wooyoung and Jongho wanted to add other dishes, they were free to. Any of them could.

You put the paper aside, leaning back against Seonghwa's shoulder. Tomorrow's morning bake items had already been decided so you didn't need to brainstorm on what to bake.

"Tired?" Seonghwa asked.

"Not physically. But my brain is, I think it's fried." You sighed, closing your eyes.

"You don't need to tire yourself out so much. Don't think and overthink too much. It'll only lead to faster burnout." He said as his hands massaged your achy ones.

"I know..." You said.

"Hwa?" You called out. He hummed in reply.

"You don't have to always take care of me and watch out for me, okay? You have to make sure that you take care of yourself too." You told him.

"I know." He replied, reply identical to yours. He knew you always felt guilty that he was constantly taking care of you, especially because you're known to not take care of yourself. But Seonghwa didn't see it as an obligation to care for you, he just wants to.

"Don't feel guilty or bad. You take care of me too, (y/n). We take care of each other, it's what we do and what we have been doing since we've met." He said.

"But you take care of me so much more."

"It doesn't matter who does more, you shouldn't worry about that. We're best friends. No one is measuring." Seonghwa chided.

"I just don't want to hold you back from anything. Like you said, we're best friends. And I would want you to venture out and do what you want to do, what's best for you." You sighed.

"What I want to do is be here with you. My best is being by your side. You're not holding me back." He comforted.

"Sure? Promise me that if I am, you tell me." You looked up at him.

"I'm sure. And as silly as that is, fine, I promise." He said. You held up your pinky and he chuckled but laced pinkies with you, stamping it to seal the deal.

"Tch, we've been glued together for so many years and you're still worried about all this. I already told you the day that we met that you're not getting rid of me so easily. That's why we never had any other friends growing up, except each other." Seonghwa playfully scolded you, flicking you on the forehead.

"Oww!" You held the place his flicked. Seonghwa clicked his tongue, knowing you were exaggerating. He didn't even hit you with so much force. He would never actually hurt you.

"So technically, you admit you're the reason I was a loner growing up?" You raised your eyebrows in accusation.

"You weren't a loner. You were with me and that's more than enough." He scoffed.

"That's true. You always made sure I wasn't left alone, Hwa." You giggled. You couldn't really remember a time where you and Seonghwa were apart.

Sure, you weren't spending every waking minute together but you've both never really let the other person feel lonely.

"Alright, it's time for an afternoon nap." You stood up, stretching your arms over your head.

"Shall I order Vietnamese food for dinner? I know you've been craving it." Seonghwa said. You were not shocked at this point that Seonghwa remembered something that you casually said in passing. You nodded your head excitedly.

"Yes. I would like bun bo hue (spicy beef noodle soup), pork tau hu ky (fried beancurd skin rolls with pork filling) and lemongrass pork please." You ordered.

"Okay." Seonghwa took it down.

"What are you having?" You asked as you laid down in bed, getting under the covers. Seonghwa took the spot beside you.

"My usual, bun rieu cua (tomato, crab and pork noodle soup). And some other sides to add on." He said, scrolling on the menu. You hummed, snuggling into your pillow.

Seonghwa has a large appetite so you could usually order a variety of food and he'll help you with finishing them.

"Go to sleep." Seonghwa put his phone down, turning to you. You hummed again, already starting to drift off. Seonghwa was always encouraging you to sleep more since you've had insomnia for as long as you can remember. It could build up and lead to you sleeping for a few days. Hence, you being sleep deprived the other day.

"Hwa, it doesn't mean anything, right?" You asked, half asleep.

"What?" He was confused by your question and what you were referring to all of a sudden.

"The flowers... He's just nice, right? I shouldn't be mulling over it or thinking that it means anything more." You clarified. Seonghwa was quiet for a while.

"If he meant something else, I'm sure he would have said it. Yunho wouldn't do one thing and mean another." He said.

"You sure?"

"We've known the guy for a like two weeks, (y/n). There's nothing really to be sure about when we barely know him. I'm just stating based off intuition and observation so far." He chuckled.

Yunho smiled stiffly as he sat at the table with his parents and younger brother at their family favourite steakhouse. He wasn't listening to their conversation at all, only plastering a smile but his mind was elsewhere.

"Hyung, what's up with you? Your head is in the clouds." Yunho's younger brother, Gunho, teased. Yunho sighed, his head wasn't in the clouds, just focused on something else.

Or rather, someone else.

"Is it work, Yunho? Something with the restaurant?" His mother asked. Yunho shook his head.

"No. It's nothing, don't worry about it. Sorry for not paying attention." He bowed his head, cutting into his steak and taking a bite.

"Which reminds me, we should pop by for dinner one of these days. You know, to support hyung." Gunho suggested to the two. It was true, Yunho's family had not visited since the opening.

"That's a good idea. But we don't want to pressure you, Yunho. We'll go when you're ready." His father smiled.

"Thanks, appa. I'm confident in my team. So please, when you're all available." Yunho smiled. His father was a lawyer and his mother was an accountant. Yunho knew that they were always trying to make up for the fact that they were never around while the two were growing up. But Yunho never really blamed them.

Them being busy also meant that Yunho was able to form such a deep and rich bond with his grandmother. And that was something Yunho would never, ever regret.

"That is exciting, I can't wait to see how things are." Mrs Jeong said with a big grin.

"As long as you're not helping out in the kitchen, hyung." Gunho snorted, making Yunho glare at his younger brother.

"I'm a lot better now. I'm slowly learning small things to help out in the kitchen. My head chef is always ready to teach me." Yunho rolled his eyes.

"Oh, tell us about him." Mr Jeong said in interest.

"Her, actually. She's an amazing chef, the whole team is. They work well together and you can tell when you watch them. It is almost like watching an orchestra play." Yunho explained.

"They must have been working together for a long while then." Mrs Jeong said.

"Yeah, they've known each other for a long time to know each other's likes, dislikes, work habits, skills, everything. I think you will be just as impressed by them as I was when you come to the restaurant." Yunho smiled proudly.

"That's good, Yunho. I'm glad you found a team that can work well not only amongst themselves but with you and your friends too. Good job." Mr Jeong commended.

"Thanks, appa. I couldn't have done it without my friends as well, especially Mingi." Yunho chuckled.

"Ah, you and Mingi hyung are inseparable as always." Gunho said.

"We just went to his mother's restaurant the other day to eat and see how she is doing. She sounded so happy that her son is working in the food industry too." Mrs Jeong giggled.

Of course with Mingi and Yunho being best friends since middle school, their parents were also close friends.

"San's father was proposing a fishing trip for all the fathers soon." Mr Jeong laughed.

"The mothers should take a trip too while the fathers go fishing. You all deserve it." Yunho said, glad that his parents were friends with his friends' parents. Mrs Jeong smiled softly, her son was always so caring and considerate of others. Mr Jeong nodded in agreement, raising his glass to clink it against Yunho's.

"But Yunho, I take it the restaurant has been well?"

"Yes. Business has been going well and we've been receiving lots of compliments and good reviews despite being so new. I pray it'll only go up from here." Yunho said.

"We know you can do it. If you ever need any help, you know you can always ask us." Mr Jeong said.

"I know, I am very grateful for that. But I hope to not rely on both of you, I want to be independent in this." Yunho spoke firmly.

"You're right, that's a good thing to want." Mrs Jeong reached over to pat the back of Yunho's hand. Yunho nodded his head with a hum, holding his mother's hand.

"However, you should make sure to have some time for yourself. Find a girlfriend." Mrs Jeong added.

"O-Omma!" Yunho stuttered nervously.

"Aren't you just gonna marry Mingi hyung?" Gunho laughed. Yunho kicked Gunho under the table, too flustered to respond back to the teasing. Yunho's mother was always invested in Yunho's love life, encouraging him to 'venture out' and find a partner.

"Dear, he's too busy running the restaurant. He doesn't have time to find a partner now." Mr Jeong said, taking a bite of his food. Yunho agreed with his father.

"Plus, I'm not in a rush to find a girlfriend, omma..." Yunho muttered.

"I can only dream, can't I? Both you and Gunho don't have girlfriends, I want a daughter to pamper and do girl things with."

"What sort of girl things?" Yunho asked.

"Oh, you know. We can go shopping, do mani pedis together, go get our hair done, all that stuff you can do with a daughter. You boys never want to do anything with me." Mrs Jeong scoffed.

"Omma, sounds like you have your own motive in wanting us to get a girlfriend." Gunho pointed out.

"Of course I want you both to be happy too! Who knows, maybe Yunho can settle down and start a family." She said.

"Alright, I think we're thinking a little far here, omma. Who knows if I'm going to settle down with the next person I date? But anyway, I'm currently focused on getting the restaurant up and running before looking for a partner." Yunho spoke. Honestly, he hadn't thought about settling down or starting a family.

"Like I said, I can only dream." Mrs Jeong sighed dispairingly.

"Look, omma, when the time comes and I meet the right person, then I'll start thinking about all that." Yunho said, trying to somewhat appease his mother.

"Sorry to say hyung, but you can be a little... how do you say? Oblivious when it comes to girls." Gunho snickered.

"What do you mean? I'm not oblivious." Yunho said.

"When a girl tries to flirt with you, you always think it's just her being a nice person in general. Meaning, you don't flirt back or reject her. You're too impartial to everyone you meet." Gunho explained.

"It's good to be impartial. And being nice isn't a bad thing, Gunho ah." Yunho crossed his arms.

"But you never know, someone might misunderstand your kindness as something else. Let's hope your future girlfriend doesn't get jealous."

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redlittlefoxari · 4 months

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Astarion Epilogue An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Ten: Little White Dress

Relationship: Astarion X Tav

Warnings: NSFW 18+, smut, blood, violence, sex, blood drinking, pregnancy.

Summary: All hell breaks lose as Tav and Astarion share with the rest of the party that you are expecting.

~~~~This Chapter contains Smut~~~~

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Twelve weeks pregnant

“I knew it! I knew something was up with the two of you!” Shadowheart was practically out of her seat as she spoke. “I just didn’t know it was his. I thought the two of you just got a segregate or something.”

“We're going to be an aunt and Uncle Wyll, isn’t it amazing!” Karlach released the hold she had on herself and let her excitement spring free. Shaking Wyll like he was a rag doll.

“Yes, that is amazing, Karlach dear, but could you stop shaking me? I fear I’m going to be sick.” At his words, Karlach stopped shaking him, and he placed one hand on the table and one on his stomach to try and stop the room from spinning.

“That…That’s amazing, you two.” Gale looked positively shocked. “I just have a few questions, if you don’t mind.” The others nodded in unison.

After what seemed like hours of being questioned by your friends, the food was finally served. Gale had spared no expense for the meal, crafting each dish so that everyone had what they wanted and what they would enjoy the most. You sliced into a relatively rare steak and watched as the red blood covered your plate, causing you to salivate. Your pregnancy cravings had two settings, sweet and bloody; there was no in-between.

When you took a rather large bite, Gale started to ask more questions. He was always searching for knowledge, and the topic of vampire children was something that was yet to be covered majorly. It felt like he was entirely too interested and asking far too many questions so he could publish a book on the topic and be credited as the one who found out how it was done.

“Tell me again, how exactly did you manage this astounding feat?” Gale had a large glass of red wine beside him and began slicing into his own dinner that you had no doubt paired nicely with his steak.

“When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they…” Astarion spoke for you while your mouth was full of meat and blood.

“Asatrion, I know how sex works. What I want to know is how her fey blood allowed your seed to impregnate her.” Gale looked at Astarion, not too pleased to be getting a talking to about the birds and the bees.

“We don’t know, maybe since he’s also technically still a high elf, my ovaries allowed it.” You said after you swallowed your mouth full of steak. “What we do know is I’m pregnant, it's his, and I’m a walking miracle.”

“I can see why you kept this a secret. There’s no telling what would happen if people found out what you were carrying.”Glae took a small bite of his food.

“What do you mean?” You placed your knife and fork on your plate.

“I only mean that vampires aren’t people's cup of tea usually. And there's a reason why there is not a lot of knowledge about half vampire half humanoid children….” Gale hesitated, not wanting to go on.

“And why is that?” Astarion stared at Gale, a challenge in them.

“They’re hailed as being unholy abominations and killed…” Gale looked down at his plate, not wanting to meet yours or Astarion’s eyes.

“We won’t let that happen! Aunty K and Uncle Wyll will not let that happen.” Karlach slammed her fist on the table.

“No, we will not.” Wyll echoed his wife's sentiment. “We will just have to keep the fact that they are Half-vampires a secret. How is it that people normally find out the parentage?”

“Other vampires, usually it’s almost as if they can smell it.” They all looked at Astarion.

“We can. There’s a particular odor that goes with the undead. I hide mine because I can’t stand the smell.” Astarion looked at you, noting the color that had drained from your face. “We can do the same for our child, dear.”

You reached for Astarion’s hand under the table, and he did the same. This opened up a whole new fear. Maybe if you moved out of the city, that would lessen your chances of being discovered. Though, as far as you knew, the last vampire to grace the city was Cazador, and since then, it had just been Astarion these last fifty years. He never mentioned smelling another vampire.

“There hasn’t been another vampire in Baldur’s gate since Cazador… right?” You looked at Astarion.

“No, I don’t know why usually there is always a vampire lord in a large city. Maybe they are afraid after what happened to the last one.” You saw his eyes glaze over, going a thousand realms away, and squeezed slightly. He returned the squeeze, gently glancing at you sideways and sending you a small smile.

“What about the rest of the population?” Shadowheart spoke up. “Are they going to be a threat?”

“Astarion walks around, and normal people can’t tell he’s a vampire… Well, unless they look at his teeth.” Gale said as he tilted his head.

Astarion flashed him his best shit-eating grin.”It took you all days before you realized, and it was only because this one woke up and caught me.” He gestured towards you.

“Then we should be fine. They probably won’t have long fangs like Astarion, and we’ll teach them not to go around biting people unless they deserve it.” You picked up your glass of blood and blueberry juice and took a long swallow. The blood and juice mixture coating your tongue and filled your belly.

“I should have known you weren’t drinking wine this whole time.” Shadowheart picked up her own glass. “I can smell the blood from here.”

“Yeah, all the signs were there, but at the time, none of you knew Astarion had it in him to knock me up.” You smiled at Astarion as he glared at you.

“I was always more than capable. I just didn’t know I could, and if I did, I would have been trying a lot harder to do so all these years.” He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed the ring that he had placed on your finger earlier that day.

You felt your face grow hot as you thought about all the ways he would prove that to be true. Every night, a different position, and every night, you would scream his name in ecstasy. Astarion could sense your arousal and mouthed one word in response. Later.

“You two are disgusting.” Shadowheart took a long drink of her wine.

“And you’re just jealous you don’t have someone to make love to.” Astarion’s eyes didn’t break from yours. “This child will be loved and protected. I can promise you that no one will harm them or you for as long as I still draw breath.”

“Fuck.” You cursed as his decoration of love and devotion to you and your child only stoked the fire growing in you more.

The others looked away, looking as if they wanted to be anywhere but where they were now.

“If the two of you are going to…. I gave you a private room for a reason… Please use it.” Gale pushed his plate away.

“Oh, we’ve already broken in the room, Gale.” Astarion stood up slowly. “One thing you can write about if you are going to publish a book about vampire humanoid babies is that the hormones the mate gives off are simply irresistible.”

“Don’t call me your mate; that's creepy and weird.” You stood along with him. “We’re not animals.”

“No but we Certainly act like we are in heat.”

Astarion extended his hand to you, and taking it, he led you towards the stairs. You twisted your fingers in with his, creating a weave that even Mystra couldn’t untangle. The hormones racing through you felt as if someone had placed a lust curse on you. Every inch of you buzzed with the need to have Astarion touch you, taste you and have him fill you.

“See you all in the morning. Don’t wait up.” Astarion said as he moved up the stairs towards your room.

You and Astarion made your way toward the room that neither one of you would be leaving the rest of the night. Reaching the stairs, you slowly made your accent, the wetness between your legs growing slicker as you thought about everything you wanted him to do to you. Astarion looked at you sidelong, and you saw that he was doing the same. You peered down to see his length straining against his pants.

“Don’t you wish you could not wear pants to Astarion?” You turned your focus back to traversing the stairs, your legs growing weak from your thoughts.

“I’m not sure the others would have liked me coming down for dinner in nothing but what the gods gave me.” He said as you made it to the top of the stairs just down the hall from your room.

“Probably not.” You turned the corner, now entirely out of sight from the others. “But maybe n…”

You were cut off as Astarion pinned you against the wall, his body flush against yours. his erection pushing into you. You moaned as his lips collided with yours, and his tongue entered your mouth. doing a full sweep of the area before pulling out and biting your lower lip. He let go and looked at you hungrily.

“Gods, you smell delicious, my love.” His teeth moved down to your neck but paused just short of taking a bite. “And you tasted divine earlier.”

You could feel his fangs on your neck just above your skin, primed and ready to sink in if only you asked. You turned your head to the side to give him a better angle. He still hesitated. His hot breath came out in short bursts on your neck, and you could sense his animalistic need to feed.

“Is it because you bit me earlier? Is that why you won’t bite me now.” You pulled back, no longer feeling his teeth or breath on your neck. Placing your hand on the side of his face, you forced him to look at you. His eyes were dilated. “What if I feed from you first?”

“That would work.” He turned his neck towards you, giving you the left side of his neck. The one you bit a few weeks prior.

“Not out here.” You grabbed his hand once again and led him to your room, shutting the door behind you and locking it.

Astarion stood in the middle of the room, looking at you in anticipation. You stared back at him, not knowing what to do. The last time, it was rough and full of need. This time, you wanted it to be a little different.

You pulled off your dress, exposing your body to him, not breaking eye contact, but for the split moment, the gown went over your eyes. Astarion drank you in, looking up and down as he took in your naked form. He moved to touch you, and you put your hand up.

“You too, Astarion. Get naked.”

Astarion gave you a cheeky smile as he pulled off his doublet, then his shirt, boots, and then his pants, making sure that they would be last. His length sprang free, and you felt yourself grow even hotter as you drank in his form. He did an added spin for good measure, letting you see all of him.

“If our child has half of both our good looks, then they’re going to have an easy life.”Astarion’s fingers shook as he spoke. He longed to touch you but waited for you all the same.

“Sit down on the bed, Astarion.” He did as you asked.

You walked over and sat on his lap, your button sitting between his legs so that both your legs were hanging over his right leg. You kissed just under his left jawline, and you felt his length stiffen more as it sat against your leg. You trailed light kisses down to his neck just by his jugular, paying extra attention to that area.

“Are you teasing me, or have you lost your nerve to bite me?” Astarion sounded out of breath.

“Patients Astarion.” You placed your teeth on his skin like had done to you earlier when he was fighting his instincts to bite you. “Good things come to those who wait.”

At that, you sunk your teeth in, breaking the skin and feeling his hot blood enter your mouth. He flung his head back and moaned as your tongue probed and sucked the holes you made in his skin. You sucked until you couldn’t taste his blood anymore on your tongue, pulling away from his skin with a pop.

Astarion moved his head to look at you. This was only the second time you had bitten him, and from the look on his face, it would not be the last. He grabbed and twisted you so that you now laid on the bed with your legs between his and them hanging slightly off the bed. He placed a hard, needy kiss against your lips and slid his tongue into your mouth once more.

“The taste of me on your tongue is something I want to taste every day, my love.” He broke the kiss. “And it’s time I returned the favor.

He moved to your neck, wasting no time as he sunk his fangs into your skin. You gasped, Since being pregnant, this is one thing that you missed the most. The feeling of his fangs in you as he sucked blood from your veins was simply erotic, and you could see why there were so many erotic novels about vampires.

You reached your hand down to find his hard length, taking it in your hand and pumping it slowly. Astarion moaned into your neck as he sucked more of your blood out and into him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and used your hand to place him at your entrance. Arching your hips slightly, he slid into you, and Astarion gasped, pulling away from your neck.

“Don’t stop.” You said as you angled your neck to give him a better angle. “Feed and Fuck Astarion.”

“Gods, I love you.”

Astarion’s fangs sunk back into your neck and, as he did, started a slow, lazy thrust of his hips in and out of you. The feeling of his fangs in you, taking your blood, and the feeling of his length taking his pleasure sent you close to the edge. You moaned his name as his slow, lazy thrusts turned into harder, needier thrusts.

He pulled his fangs from your neck, not waiting to drink too much, just taking as much as you took from him. Astarion hooked his hands under your knees, allowing you to rest them as he thrusted into you harder. Pulling almost entirely out before slamming back into you. You moved your hand to your now swollen and sensitive clit, rubbing circles and allowing your climax to grow faster.

You looked at the holes you made in his neck and thought about the hole in yours that would match the thought pushing you over the edge of your climax. As you moaned, his name Astarion soon followed after the mix of you tightening around him and his name on your lips being too much for him to contain himself. You felt him fill you fully as he still thrusted his length inside you, milking his own orgasm to completion.

“We should definitely get into the practice of trying to make children,” Astarion said as he leaned down to kiss you. “I have never seen you so aroused.”

He placed a hard kiss on your lips. “I agree; how many do you want? three ? four?Though it took us fifty years to conceive this one.”

This child was a miracle in itself; truth be told, you weren’t sure Astarion and yourself could handle more than one child. Let alone this one.

“True.“ He was grinning ear to ear. “But we can sure try.”

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 11 months

Text

Just wanted to say thank you all for the support on the first chapter, I really appreciate it.

You're just like an angel pt2

You were pretty much stuck in the corner of the room as that spiderman continued whatever he did. It was extremely boring just

stuck in the corner.

"Miguel" a woman's voice called as a pregnant lady entered, she was dark-skinned with an afro and wearing red and black motorbike gear. She was also visibly pregnant. While she waited for the platform she looked around, and her eyes landed on you.

Once the platform finished lowering.

"What's she doing here?" She asked.

"I interrogated her before, keeping her til I get all the information I can about that recent outburst of anomalies" he explained. She looked back at you for a second as she inspected you.

"So what did you call me for?" She asked.

"I wanted to see if you'd be on standby for the next few days, the frequency of anomalies has been on the rise recently and I'm trying to get as much backup as possible" he explained.

"Sure thing, is that all you needed me to come in for?" she replied.

"Yes," he replied.

"Well I appreciate you asking me in person, I'll see you tomorrow," she said before leaving.

"Miguel?" You said his name. His heart stopped for a second as he heard you say his name, the way it rolled off your tongue was almost heavenly.

"And you need to know my name?" He asked.

"Well you already know mine, it seems only fair" you replied. He only hummed in response before his attention left you.

"LYLA how many anomalies are in the facility?" He asked before a small hologram of a lady appeared.

"What else?" She asked smugly.

"Please" he muttered.

"Please what?" She asked.

"Please tell me how many anomalies are in the facility" he replied with a sigh of defeat.

"That's better, some manners get you a whole lot further" she replied, lecturing him like a child.

"Just tell me!" He snapped, causing you to flinch.

"Ok ok, currently we have 134 anomalies in the facility" she replied.

"That's more than we can release in a day, if this keeps up we're going to have to put the machine into overdrive just to keep up with the demand" he muttered to himself before leaving the room.

You sighed, it seemed like it was going to be a while before you'd get the chance to return.

🕷🕷🕷

It felt like forever before he returned with two small cardboard packages. He walks straight to you and stood in front of the cage.

"You're not going to try and run off if I open this, are you?" He asked you in a stern tone.

"No" you replied.

"Good, I'll hold that to you" he replied before turning the cage off and handing you one of the boxes.

"I got you the vegan burger, since I didn't know what your dietary needs were but if it's not what you want I can get someone to get you something else" he explained.

"No that's fine, thank you" you replied as you pulled the burger out of the box and took a bite, it was really good. The patty almost tasted like real meat.

"Mmm this is great" you replied after swallowing.

He sat nearby on the chair you had previously been in before beginning to eat his food. It'd been a very long time since he had eaten with another person, not since the breakfast before the universe he'd been in collapsed. He wondered why he even stayed to eat with you, surely he could have just caged you again and eaten somewhere else but he didn't.

"It sounds like you guys have been busy with all these portals," you said in an attempt at conversation.

"Yes, it's been like this for 3 days now and I'm stuck trying to figure out why it's spiked all of a sudden" he explained.

"Thus is why you interrogated me?" You asked.

"Not exactly, you entered the portal to my universe after another anomaly entered yours. I had to make sure that anomalies weren't figuring out how to communicate between the multiverse" he explained before he finally took a bite of his empanadas.

"So what happens when I do get sent back, am I going to get my memory wiped? Are you expecting me to stop what I've been doing?" You asked.

"We haven't figured out an effective way to erase the memories of anomalies yet and I don't expect you to stop, as long as you're not affecting the multiverse you're the problem of your universe spiderman" he answered.

"So all you Spidermen know each other?" You said before taking another bite.

"Most of us, it was the most efficient way to manage the anomalies" he explained.

"Interesting," you thought out loud.

Then a ringing erupted and he put the box down, he sighed as he looked at his half-eaten food before looking at the device he had on his wrist.

"I have to go," he told you before the cage closed on you again.

"I'll be back later," he told you before he put on his mask and what you assumed was a portal opened. He walked through and it disappeared.

🕷🕷🕷

Miguel returned a few hours later to see you had curled up on the cold ground asleep. He left the room quickly to grab a pillow and blanket from the infirmary before returning and turning the cage off. Putting the pillow under your head and draping the blanket on top of you. A singular tear ran down his cheek as he did so. It took him back to the late nights he'd return home and see his wife and daughter had fallen asleep during a movie. He'd pick up his daughter and tuck her into bed before he'd do the same with his wife.

He didn't turn the cage back on, he should have but instead, he picked you up and took you to a room he'd kept just out of sight from others. It was a small room he'd furnished as a secondary bedroom for when he wasn't able to go back home. He laid you on the bed and walked out but turned back to look at your sleeping form before locking the door behind you.

He realized something, something that horrified him. He was falling for you. It shouldn't happen. He vowed that his late wife was the only one he could ever love. He couldn't be with you, you were from two completely different universes. You were never supposed to even meet. His hands balled into white-knuckled fists by his side talons threatening to pierce his palms.

He should have sent you home, returned you to your own family but his heart ached at the thought of letting you go. Part of him told him to keep you, he'd lost enough already. Surely he deserved to love and be loved once more after all the suffering he'd endured for his life.

He took a deep breath, still deeply conflicted.

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hare x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader

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starwrighter · 9 months

Text

I am not a Baby!! (yes you are)

(Previous) (Next) (Masterpost) (Ao3)

(Chapter five lol)

A jarring noise jolted him awake way too soon for his liking. His eyelids still felt like anchors and vague images of a good dream lingered in his mind. If he went back to sleep now the chances of him continuing his dream where it left off were next to zero. As the noise continued Danny found himself pouting, his eyes watering despite not being sad. Frustration bubbled like a hot spring as he whipped his head around to the source. The radio!

All his anger shifted to giddy hope, exhaustion melting away as he rushed to the blinking red light and pressed play. The machine whirred and clicked a robotic voice different from his PDA chiming in

"Playing pre-recorded distress call..."

"This is lifepod 3, uploading our coordinates. We're plugging some holes in our emergency Seaglide, so if we're late for the rendezvous don't panic. Also, don't go home without us. Seriously. 3 out."

A young lady's voice played from the machine, coordinates downloading to his PDA along with the message itself. It felt like a decade had passed since he'd heard a human voice despite only being on this planet for a day at max. Looking at the coordinates, their life pod should be floating around in one of the kelp forests. Danny still looked human, so meeting up with the other survivors probably wouldn't be too scary for them, alarming yes, but not scary.

In all likelihood, the crew of life pod 3 wouldn't still be there when Danny reached the signal. The message had been sent around ten minutes after the crash and Danny was just now receiving it a day later. A rendezvous was mentioned in the distress call, maybe he could get the coordinates from the other pod's radio? The call he received was obviously responding to a distress call other than his. Why he wasn't receiving messages in chronological order was probably the same reason his PDA's blueprints were corrupted and his lifepod's interior was on fire when he woke up.

All he knew was following that signal was the first thing he was going to do when he set out again. Inside the life pod, however, he was going to have breakfast. Toddling over to the storage unit Danny picked out what was supposed to be a block of food. Scrunching up his nose Danny took a bite, it was dense and crumbled when he bit into it yet, was somehow chewy like a fruit gummy. The taste was nothing like fruit in fact it tasted more like meat. Not good meat either, like someone had taken raw steak rolled it around in their yard fresh after mowing, and then sprayed disinfectant on it. It took an entire water bottle to wash away the artificial taste on his tongue! Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if you told him this was expired. It wasn't packaged, it just sat at the bottom of a warm storage unit next to his remaining water bottle and flares.

...

Was this some kind of space rat poison? Did he seriously just eat rat poison, his PDA didn't warn him it was rat poison. It should have warned him if it was rat poison there was no reason the PDA would have to poison him... Unless it wanted to? Did his PDA become sentient because it was sick of his crap? He hadn't even gotten close to the level of annoying his friends and enemies dealt with on a daily basis. If his PDA became sentient it was either a coward or trying to save itself the trouble.

"Hi?" Danny questioned, staring intently at his PDA waiting for a response... Nothing happened, after minutes of waiting silently so as to not interrupt the PDA if it decided to speak nothing happened no pop-up, notification, or comment. It wasn't at all disappointing and if it was that was only because the thought of a sentient AI to talk to sounded super cool.

Ancients, how was he this desperate for interaction already? Where was his fire extinguisher? Shuffling around the lifepod Danny looked under the seats, snatching up the bright red fire extinguisher and clutching it to his chest. Resting his chin on the handle Danny sighed, chubby fingers slipping against the smooth metal. The fire extinguisher wasn't as heavy as it'd been when he first sprayed it pretty soon, Wilson would be as useless for putting out fires as it was for blunt force damage. A knife in his backpack could be justified but a fire extinguisher while swimming in the ocean? A waste of space. Leaving his inanimate friend behind was the practical option but Danny didn't care.

The knife he'd acquired last night might be his main friend from now on but Wilson was the Og. They're going on adventures together and Danny would keep it in his room as a souvenir. A knife would eventually be taken from him but fire extinguishers were for forever! Stuffing Wilson into his bag Danny prepared to leave his lifepod again.

Squeezing the knife in his right hand Danny gave a few test swings. Physically, he's weak but the knife was sharp and it'd do some serious damage if he was careful what he swung at. As much as his food tasted like something you were served in prison this was not prison and throwing hands with the biggest creature on the planet would do him no good. With that said he was going to pick a fight with whoever invented those nutrient blocks, or maybe he'd sick the lunch lady on them? Whoever made these rations deserved to live off of only them for at least a week.

Opening the hatch was easier than it was yesterday, the orange handle turning smoothly with one yank instead of many. Water less foreign against his skin, the wetsuit feeling more natural than it had before. A dive that wasn't skin-tight would still be preferred but at least it was breathable and protected him decently. Swimming had gotten a bit easier, the flippers didn't make a huge difference when you accounted for the heavy oxygen tank strapped to his back. Surprisingly the weight of the new tools in his backpack and the oxygen tank strapped to him didn't drag him down to the seafloor.

Catching a few fish with his teeth to distract the metal muncher. Danny wandered towards the signal. Sticking low to the seabed, he ducked between creeping hiding amongst the vines and using supply crates as cover. Tossing a fish at metal munchers that lurked a bit too close to his hiding place distracted them long enough to get to the next one before they swam to inspect where their snack had come from. His PDA informed him it gave the metal muncher a name when he distracted it long enough to scan it. A "Stalker" is what the AI deemed a suitable name. Danny thought that name was boring, a dramatic name for a creature that Danny found to be scatterbrained and lacked the dedication to hunting the name implied. Its pattern of movement was closer to sneaking than it was to stalking. It was an annoying name choice but it made sense. You couldn't give a living creature the genius name he came up with.

Coral was wrinkled like a brain but colored a bright purple and spat out air bubbles that filled his air tank. Giving him more time to explore before the natural need for air spoiled his fun. Sandstone outcrops popped up more often in the kelp forests, useful silver and gold dropped into his open palms before quickly being stuffed into his backpack.

As he closed in on the signal, body pressed to a grassy seabed a sinking feeling started to fester in his stomach. A feeling that soon shifted to overwhelming grief that hit him like a crowbar to the cranium. Chest tightening as a sunken lifepod clear in his view. If it'd had just been sunken there was hope that it'd happened after the crew moved on, perhaps a Stalker taking a little nibble? No, this lifepod had been exposed to some sort of explosion, metal blackened and jutted outward. The bottom hatch looked to be ripped from the floor, now leaning against the gaping hole just below the bright red 3 labeling the lifepod. While there were bite marks on the pod, parts of the yellow latter were likely torn off by a passing stalker that likely occurred after the initial explosion.

Considering his lifepod was on fire when he woke up, this one exploding for no visible reason was too much of a stretch. Swimming into the sunken pod, prepared for the worst. Mentally preparing himself to see a mangled body or the horrific scene of a lethal incident. The lack of gore upon his entry was both relieving and unnerving. A lack of bodies didn't bring him hope, the hairs standing on the back of his neck and a cold breath stuck in his chest told him with certainty that the crew of this lifepod was dead.

The crew's last voice log confirmed this. A modified power cell, one to supercharge a sea glide to be capable of carrying two people at a higher speed. The math was perfect in theory but the seglide itself wasn't built for the power cell. It was too powerful, the kind you used to power bigger things like prawn suits or seamoths. Like rigging a car battery to power a lightbulb it was doomed from the start Chances were, it started to overheat the moment they turned it on and overloaded a few feet from the pod just like the crew thought it would.

Awful, There were no names on the PDA. No bodies to be buried or cremated and no names to be remembered for grieving. Deaths that he could only mourn in the confines of his mind. Jane and John doe's that died doing their best to ensure survival in a shitty situation. It took everything he had not to cry, though maybe he was already crying but the ocean was washing his tears away without a trace just like it had with these people.

A large displacement of water followed by a not quite shriek of something much bigger than a metal muncher snapped him back. That did not sound friendly! Danny hugged the wall of the lifepod peeking out through one of the many holes made by the stalkers.

That didn't look friendly either.

A gigantic snake-like fish with pelvic fins like silk sleeves. Gills glowed a toxic white, its yellow body shimmering in the daylight. Similar to a hoverfish there were spots lining the fish's back, a large white blob in the shape of a bat on its chest. It glided through the water slowly circling the lifepod, eyes glowing yellow.

"Thirty seconds," Danny could have screamed, the robotic alert like a firecracker going off during silent reading. The giant fish whipped its head around creeping towards the lifepod at an agonizingly slow pace. Heart racing, Danny clung to the side of the lifepod pressing himself as flatly against the pod as he could. Desperate to avoid being spotted he shoved himself underneath a metal panel.

A stalker's roar broke through the water followed by a pained shriek and a body slamming against the sand. Danny took this opportunity to make his escape, vision blurring as he swam to the surface. A gasp of air could never taste any sweeter as he watched a pack of stalkers attempt to eat the giant. The giant just seemed annoyed, their face pinched in what he could only assume was the fish equivalent of exasperation. Batting away the hungry gators with their blanket-like tale, Stalkers attempted to thrash around a creature that was several times bigger than them, thinking they could take him as a group.

This distraction lasted long enough for Danny to flee back to the shallows. Back to the bladderfish and Peepers who didn't look like they could swallow him whole without noticing it. Now Danny didn't mean to judge a book by its cover but he also wasn't willing to swim up to a fish that big, not when he wasn't sure if that was the one who'd had a taste of human flesh.

"Detecting increased local radiation levels. Trend is consistent with damage to the Aurora's drive core, sustained during planetfall"

Well shit, sometimes Danny hated being right.

@pupstim @ashoutinthedarkness @avelnfear @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @meira-3919 @blep-23 @hugsandchaos @stargazing-bookwyrm @starlightcat04 @bytheoldwillowtree @zeldomnyo @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart

#Danny named a fire extinguisher Wilson in chapter two lol #Danny wandering towards the signal while unintentionally wandering toward Signal #Danny deserves to cry let the boy cry #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #subnautica au #I feel like danny isn't feral enough #I need to fix that in future chapters smh

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shittalkcornstalk · 6 months

Text

“Take One For The Team”

Synopsis- After finding out your Captain has been giving you special treatment, your friends convince you to flirt your way into getting the crew some much needed time off.

Warnings- xfemreader! , Use of Y/n, 18+ minor dni, Eventual Smut, mild manipulation on your part, alcohol use, weapons mention, age gap mention, Buggy is kind of creepy just a little

Word Count 2.4k

Author’s Note - Hi! As you might notice this is my first post! It’s also my first time sharing something I’ve written before , but something about that clown awoken something in me :) Let me know if there’s anything I missed tags or warning wise! I have two more chapters done that I’ll release if everything works out.

Chapter One “A Test Run”

You’d been sailing along Buggy’s crew for the last 6 months, helping in raids and preparing for the grandline. After some incidents with an up and comer Buggy had been much less inclined to leave anything up to chance. Now running the ship with the aid of Alvida and hiring on more freaks to service his mission, his goal of the one piece was set in motion, and very little was going to stop this determination.

At first you weren't a particularly skilled fighter, but you could do a bit of maintenance around the ship, and were willing to train at your weak points. When you first joined you were worried about your position as the only other woman on the crew besides Alvida Being surrounded by a considerable amount of dangerous men had you a bit on edge, but Cabaji had made arrangements for you in a small closet converted into private quarters within your first week on the ship. At least that's who you thought made that happen. Throughout these last months you found yourself rising in ranks rather quickly. You’d been gaining some talents in hand to hand combat thanks to training, but making good friends of Cabaji and Moji had you sitting with the upper ranks of the crew sooner than you’d anticipated. And with that you noticed an increase in the quality of life. It was small, but the bathing supplies you were allotted became higher quality, they softened your hair and gave it a warm sweet smell. The food had gotten better, with larger portions. You hadn’t a clue what was happening beyond maybe who’d you been associating with. You seemed to have some power in play but you didn't know why. Until on night while you were out drinking with friends.

It has been a rather torturous day for you and your crew. Buggy had started an aggressive training regiment that left all of you tired and sore. You saw him watch over all of you, barking orders and sneering at anyone who tried to wimp out. You caught his eyes following you as you lunged forward punching the air, practicing your swings. He smirked at you before shifting his gaze elsewhere.

“Train harder! If you ever want to see your captain become king of the pirates you must work till you bleed!” He laughed at the sight of everyone.

God, it sucked. Your arms were aching and you started to really dislike the guy for his cruelty. You grasp at the cold mug of beer in front of you, chugging it down to cool yourself after today's workout. Cabaji and Moji are also exhausted relishing in their own self pity and pain.

“He’s such a tight wad right now. God will he just let up this act for one second? He’s been working us to the bone-“

“Hey, at least you get special treatment, think about how the rest of us are suffering” Moji groans out

You take a second to process what he said. What special treatment? You’d assume at least Buggy’s two right hand men were also getting some benefits.

“What do you mean by special treatment?” You look at them confused.

Moji puffs and takes a swig of his drink. “The fancy smelling soaps, the private room, hell you get almost twice the meat either of us get at meal time- you think we're all getting that? Have you seen the rooms, have you smelt us? You know you've been given special attention this entire time right? We thought you knew?” He points to Cabaji who nods in agreement.

“Yeah and they way you just so happened to go from cannon fodder to the captain’s table in a matter of weeks? We’re friends, don’t get that wrong, but our friendship only got you so far y/n. There were other things getting you to the table that quickly…”

They were both insinuating something, dancing around the elephant in the room, and you wanted to know what it was.

“Why though?”

“Please, you’ve got to be blind to not notice it. He watches you train a little too attentively, his eyes follow you around while you work. He made sure you were right by him at meal times. You're in a private room for ‘your safekeeping’. You get nicer clothes, you get extra beauty sleep , you get extended bathing hours. The captain got it bad- and you’ve never even clocked it?”

You stammered, your brain gets fuzzy. Captain Buggy has been giving you special treatment because he's got a thing for you. You feel a weight in your stomach as you consider all the things lining up in your head. He does look at you funny, in fact he’s looked at you that way since day one of recruitment. Did he hire you for that alone? Did you like him? Not really… He was a good captain until recently but now all you can think about is how hard he's been working you all. As far as you're concerned, whatever Buggy had wanted from you, wasn't gonna happen.

“Oh my god, how did I not notice it- I feel so stupid…” You groan, chugging the rest of your beer. “This entire time, he only had me on the crew to woo me-“ You stick out your tongue and lay your head on the table in defeat.

“Well now that you know, Moji and I have been talking and we think we can use this information to our advantage. Lighten our work load a bit-“

“And what do you mean by that?” You ask imparitively.

“Well here’s the thing now that you know the captain is putty in your hands, let's use that, c'mon take one for the team-“

“AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!”

“Nothing crazy, but the captain has been in such a terrible mood lately and it's causing all of us to suffer- maybe if the girl he likes was a bit nicer, complimented him a bit more, played with her hair, other girly shit. He’d distracted enough to forget he's a total asshole.”

“yeah y/n its not like you have to sleep with him.” Moji motions with his hands in a comical way. “Just use some of that charm and get us a little more time off” he laughs into his drink. If you all hadn’t been so close and also a little drunk you’d punch both of them, you still kinda wanted to punch them…

“You guys are gross. That’ll never work. You are seriously overestimating this ‘feminine charm’ and crush shit, I’m sure captain would looooovvvee to hear how low you think of him right now-“

“No come on, give it a chance, tomorrow all you have to do is smile at him a little more, laugh at jokes-and and…” Cabaji thinks for a second…

“Touch his shoulder!” Moji finishes, “Then I bet he’ll let up! You’ll see! Just try it, our situation isn’t gonna get any worse if it doesn’t work…”

Moji and Cabaji jokingly give you puppy dog eyes and pout “Please for your best friends~”

“Ugh fine, but you owe me, both of you are taking over my chores for a week after tomorrow-“

“Deal!” They say in unison snickering to themselves.

The next day comes and it's time for you to embarrass yourself in front of everyone it seems. You take note to take a little extra time to get ready, nothing crazy , but looking disheveled isn't gonna help the plan. You make your way to the dock for training when you see Buggy, Cabaji, and Moji taking. Your two friends spot you first giving a wink and a smile and they say goodbye to the captain leaving you alone as you approach him. You take a deep breath and step forward.

“Good morning Captain Buggy~”

You try to be a little more melodic in the way you say his name, though it doesn't quite roll off your tongue that well. Buggy certainly didn’t notice that though cause he was already a little jumpy at your more aggressive approach. He blushes a bit and stifles a cough.

“G-Good morning Y/n, what brings you here this morning, shouldn’t you start training?” He's trying to keep cool, but now that you are well aware of his feelings you know he's bluffing. You can’t believe it but this might actually work.

“Is it so -bad- I wanted to greet my captain this morning?” God you are deluding yourself, but you do a tiny pout and the look on this man's face shifts. He's a mess and you have control.

“NOT AT ALL-“ He starts waving his hands. “I’m just not used to you being so…um…cordial-“ He giggles a bit to himself. Cordial was not the word he wanted to say and you knew it. You shift your eyes over to the two idiots watching the spectacle. They mock you with kissy faces, and like a lightbulb going off in one of their pea sized brains, they mimic the shoulder touch you agreed to. With a quick breath you look at Captain Buggy directly in the eye, batting your lashes, and curling your lips to talk.

“Captain Buggy?~” You let his name sit for a minute. He looks back at you, gulps, and waits.

“Yes?”

You take your hand lightly touching his bicep and softly rubbing it up to his shoulder. He jolts ever so slightly under your touch.

“I was just wondering what today's regiment was? We’re all so tired from yesterday's workout, and while we…I want to make sure we can serve you to the best of our abilities. I was wondering when our next rest day was?”

He gulps again, heavier, as if this man had swallowed a rock. He coughs to alleviate some of the tension in the air. And though you don’t fully know it yet he thinks he’s found his in to sweeten you up to him a bit. After all a girl like you does deserve a break, but if he only gives you a day off he’ll expose himself to everyone. He's gotta play it cool, still fulfilling your wishes but make it seem like he's in control.

“Why you happened to ask me on the perfect day doll-“ A nickname he’d never confronted you with before, but with his ego inflated he thought he'd slip that in “I was just about to tell the entire crew that all training was going to be canceled today” He moved his body to the crew to announce it but keeps his eyes on you expectely. “Proceed with normal chores, but today will be light work for all-'' He smiled at how great this plan is. Surely you’d start seeing him in better lighting with this generous offer.

Cabaji and Moji are celebrating by themselves at their hiding spot. Hi fiving each other and shooting you thumbs up. You look back at your captain, fully unaware that you’d scemed this outcome. You were suprised it worked this well, but this outcome made it seem like this was a much easier feat than you were expecting. You’d be able to get a lot more with very little it seems. And now that Cabaji and Moji have taken up your chores for the week, no training and no chores meant a full day of rest and relaxation for you. You could really get used to this. You smile to yourself, but Buggy, who really hasn't kept his eyes off of you this entire time, takes it as a compliment.

“ Take some of that much needed rest y/n, you deserve for how hard you work. After all, it's like you said you need energy to serve your captain.”

You shudder in your head at the implications of that last statement before grinning past the grimace on your face and leaving with a sweet plasticy “Thank you Captain Buggy-“ He waves you off, and you can definitely see his gaze linger on your ass.

“Gross…” You think to yourself.

Later that night you and the two others relish in a successful mission.

“It fucking worked!” Cabaji yelled clinking glasses with yours.

“It fucking worked…” You stare blankly groanin to yourself in self deprecation.

“Aw c'mon think about it we’d probably get a whole week off if you just sucked his d-“

You smack him before he can even finish the thought. You weren’t gonna become some toy just to get a bit more vacation time. You wouldn’t mind having the weekends off though, especially when you were docked in new cities. You could go shopping more, maybe go to the markets, try the spas… You could embarrass yourself a little if it meant that maybe…

“Listen I’ll agree it worked better than expected but we can’t jump to conclusions and say this’ll work all the time. Chances are this was a one time thing. Captain Buggy may not be the epitome of self restraint and class, but he’s not stupid-“

He’s stupid. Sure every day didn’t immediately become a luxury cruise in paradise but you'll be damned if your little giggles and hair flips didn't lighten the load for everyone around you. The captain was happier, calmer, and now that he was convinced he started hooking you in, he didn't take out a lot of that repressed anger he’d built up on the crew. It was smooth sailing for the most part. You’d say hello to him in the mornings, goodnight to him before leaving for your own quarters. You’d refer to him with full title as Captain Buggy, enunciate the words in a way he found irresistible, and of course Mojis patent pending ‘shoulder touch’. He swears you need to bottle and sell it. He was putty off this little attention you gave him, and for how little it was, you'd oblige to give it to him. You wonder if anyone had picked up on it, but you probably would have been mocked to hell for it, if anyone actually knew. So in secrecy you kept up this little crush act for as long as it could run.

#buggy the clown #buggy #op buggy #buggy x reader #buggy x y/n

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ckret2 · 8 months

Text

Chapter 16 of human Bill has taken an "I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me" approach to being the Mystery Shack's prisoner (title TBD), featuring:

Also featuring: Ford and Mabel bonding... until things go very, very wrong. Thanks Bill.

####

October 2012

As Stan turned the corner, he paused to let his eyes adjust as he came out of the blinding evening sun into the shadows of a tight, unobtrusive street, then shuffled up to where Ford was waiting. "All right, I think we shook the cops," he muttered. "The were-rats should keep 'em distracted. Smart move, splitting up to lead them to each other." He rummaged through the bag of ("borrowed") groceries that had caused them all this trouble, looking for a stick of cured meat he'd had his eye on.

"Mm." That was all Ford said.

Stan looked sharply at Ford. "Hey, you okay? The rats didn't get you, did they?" He glanced over Ford for any torn clothes or blood.

"No—sorry, I'm fine. Just..." He gestured at the storefront across the street. "Distracted."

Stan followed his gesture. He couldn't read the language on the signs, but he didn't need to: the pictures in the windows—tarot cards, palmistry charts, a hand-painted poster of a crystal ball, all surrounded by unlit neon tubes shaped into stars—made it clear enough just what kind of shop this was. Stan laughed. "Hey, it looks like what Ma did with the pawn shop after Dad passed. When we're back in the States, I oughta find a picture for you. Or maybe Shermie can 'e-mail' us one, I think his kid was 'digitalizing' the old family photos..." He trailed off as he saw what Ford was really staring at.

Amongst the other dark neon lights, there was a single larger one, just over the name of the shop: a triangle with an eye.

Stan shuddered. "Ugh. I'm never gonna be able to look at those things the same way again, are you?"

"I haven't been able to for over thirty years," Ford said. "It's funny—in most civilized dimensions in the multiverse, that symbol is incredibly taboo, because as soon as it's drawn it becomes his eye. I only ever saw it used as the direst warning in places tainted by the Nightmare Realm—places he could already see."

Stan snorted. "Coming home must've been a rude shock, huh?"

It was true—Ford saw Bill peering from every dollar, winking slyly at him from strangers' gold rings, standing solemn vigil over graveyards from the headstones. Ford remembered the first time he'd returned to his study: of course he'd known that all his art of Bill was still there, but he'd been stunned by the sheer quantity of eyes watching him, ready to welcome him home. He'd awkwardly hidden himself beneath a bedsheet like a ghost to keep Bill from staring at him as he went around the room, covering every tapestry, drawing, and statue with black curtains. He hoped Bill hadn't been actively watching then. He knew he'd looked stupid.

"You don't know the half of it." Ford nodded toward the psychic shop. "Looking at that face now feels like seeing a toxic waste warning sign."

"Do you think she knows?" Stan asked.

"'She'?"

"The psychic!" Apparently, Stan had decided the psychic was a woman. "D'you think she knows what that is? Did he slip her prophecies to start up her business? Or is it just a spooky magic symbol to her?"

Stan was probably expecting Ford to vaguely speculate—but instead, he eyed the symbol critically. "It's got a slit pupil, which is always a worrying sign," he said, "but that could just be an aesthetic choice. If it had his clothing or limbs, I'd know for sure it's meant to be him, but without..."

As they'd spoken, the evening had crept on and the shadows in the alley had deepened; and now it was dark enough that someone inside the shop flipped the neon lights on. Multicolored stars danced around the window. The triangle lit up bright yellow. The pupil and top eyelid had burned out, so now it looked like the Eye of Providence was perpetually asleep, eye shut.

Stan and Ford both shivered.

"That's probably a coincidence, right?" Stan said. "That's—that's just bad luck."

"There's absolutely no scientific reason why Bill's death would cause depictions of his face to—um—malfunction," Ford said. "It's definitely a coincidence." He said it like he was sure.

"Right," Stan said. "C'mon, we should head back to the beach before someone finds our boat." He turned away from the shop. As he walked, he fished his wallet out of his pocket, rifled through the money until he found some American currency, and squinted at it to make sure Bill's eye was still open.

Ford didn't move. He was still staring at the triangle.

Did she know, he wondered? (She or he or whoever owned this shop.) Did Bill have a worshiper here? Perhaps just another distant believer who'd been recruited by one of the micro-cults Bill left in his wake, five degrees and fifty years removed from a former "student" that Bill had "inspired" and then abandoned?

Or had Bill met them in their dreams? Had he been summoned up to give them inspiration and knowledge of the future? Did they remember Bill as the central figure in a visionary dream that now made up the core of their spirituality? Maybe he'd visited them more than once, while trying to decide whether they'd be useful to him? Perhaps he'd been grooming the fortune teller into his minion, feeding them lines he wanted to pass on to a local politician or scientist? Did he ever play board games with them?

Did they worship him still?

Did they know their god was dead?

Stan called from the end of the street, "Ford?"

"Coming." Ford tore his gaze away from the dead face. "I kept expecting it to blink."

Stan laughed nervously. "Yeah, real funny."

Stan and Ford watched each other from their peripheral vision as they turned the corner, to make sure neither of them tried to glance back to check.

They returned to their boat, set sail, and had dinner. And when Stan went to bed, Ford sat out on the deck, looked at the stars—and wept.

He'd cried when he'd thought his brother had lost his memories forever. He hadn't cried in the month and a half since then. He didn't want anyone to watch him grieve the worst monster he'd ever met.

####

There'd been an ache in Ford's chest for over thirty years—an empty pit that once held awe—a dark void that used to be filled with starlight. Ford knew now that, metaphorically speaking, the divine light Bill put off had never been anything but optical illusions with flashlights and mirrors. But even so—even so, nothing and nobody had inspired such sublime wonder in Ford since.

During his lowest moments out in the multiverse, starving and exhausted and despairing, he'd irrationally wondered if the unimpressable depression left in Bill's wake was evidence that Bill had been truly that great, too great for a human like Ford to understand, and the shadow cast on Ford's life in Bill's absence was the natural consequence of turning away from something godlike.

Ford had gotten over that. He'd recovered, he'd grown. He understood the truth: Bill's parlor tricks had dazzled his eyes so thoroughly that now he couldn't detect the subtle glimmer of the truly wondrous. He wondered if his eyes would ever adjust to the dark again.

Whether he liked it or not, he missed the way mind-blowing awe felt. He missed being dazzled.

There were days when he wasn't sure what he resented Bill for more: vomiting so much glittery garbage into his soul, or stopping.

####

June 2013

When Ford went looking for his briefcase to make a trip to Portland, he found it opened in the kitchen. He shouldn't have left it in the kitchen. His five-page copy of the text from a purportedly-extraterrestrial prehistoric cave painting was spread out across the table.

The mysterious, unintelligible alien text had been fully translated.

With purple crayon.

Into a second alien language.

Ford could have strangled Bill.

And what made him angriest was how excited he was over this new puzzle.

The original cave panting had consisted of hundreds of tiny symbols in an unknown language from an unknown species, painted on rock, the text faded over time. He hadn't even known whether all the symbols were recognizable as their originals. He'd suspected there'd never be a translation in his lifetime, if indeed there ever was. Bill's translation implicitly said, yes, there is a knowable translation. Said, and you can know the translation too. Said, I've made it into a fun game for you. Said, all you have to do is play along.

He would not play along.

He stuffed the papers back in his bag where they belonged, added the stack of notes he'd made for his trip, slung the briefcase over his shoulder and against his back, and went looking for his great-niece.

####

"Hey Grunkle Ford!" Mabel waved from the living room table. "Wanna play fairy chess?" She was wearing a black-and-white checkerboard-patterned sweater with a blue fairy on her chest. Apparently, this was her plan for the day.

Ford paused outside the living room. "What's 'fairy' chess?"

"It's like normal chess, but you get to decorate the chess pieces and give them weird new rules. Look! I made a princess and a unicorn!" She held up a queen piece with a yarn ponytail and a knight piece with a clay horn. "Wanna play? You can make up any kind of piece you want and I can decorate it for you! Or I can give you the rook with the dragon wings!"

Ford laughed. "That sounds fun. Where did you come up with fairy chess?"

Mabel hesitated, her smile slightly flagging.

"Ah." Of course. He would teach her made-up chess varieties. Ford cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm planning to visit Portland today. There's a weird-looking shop I saw while Soos was driving Stan and I from the airport, and I've been meaning to visit it."

"Oh." Mabel's smile wilted completely. She placed her princess and unicorn back on the chess board. "Yeah. That's fine. I could ask Dipper if he wants to play. Unless he's going with you..."

"I was actually going to ask if you'd like to come."

Mabel's head whipped toward Ford, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Sure, it seemed up your alley! I'm going to a crystal shop—"

"WHAT!" Mabel was on her feet and bounding across the room. "Shut up, I love crystals! They're like jumbo glitter for adults!"

Ford laughed. "I thought you might be interested!"

Mabel went on, "And you know those gift shops with all the shelves of glass and crystal sculptures? I love looking at those! I've always wanted to get one, but my parents think I'd break it. They're probably right."

Ford flashed back to the devastation Mabel wrought on the gift shop snow globes last summer. Well. Maybe her parents had a point, but. "You just have to be careful with it during transport! I got one of those souvenir glass statues during my roadtrip from college to Gravity Falls, and it survived all sorts of gnome invasions and eye-bat battles. I wonder where Stan put it?"

"What did it look like?"

"Mothgar." Did they still make Mothgar movies? "She's a beautiful, heroic moth—who's been radioactively mutated into a giant fire-breathing monster. I consider her one of my heroes. Her flame breath held her statue in the air."

"That sounds awesome!" Mabel bounced on her feet excitedly. "I'll be right back! I've gotta change clothes before we go." She pounded up the stairs.

Ford wondered if Mabel would like watching Mothgar, or any of the other Lizilla monster movies. He and Stan had practically grown up on those films; it would be nice to pass his love of them on to someone else in the family. Maybe she'd find them boring. It sounded like kids these days were more into computer-generated movies...

His train of thought gently derailed as he slowly became aware of a dangerous predator watching him.

He looked around—living room, kitchen, hallway, front door. Nothing. He looked up. Bill was standing in the shadows of the attic stairway landing, leaning against the corner where the stairs turned, peering down at Ford.

Ford scowled.

Bill grinned. "Crystals, huh?" There was a mocking edge to his smile. "Doesn't that sound fun. I bet she'll just love that."

That was the idea, yes. "What are you getting at, Bill."

"'Getting at'?" Bill repeated innocently. "What's there to get at? I just think it's nice of you to do something nice for her."

"Uh-huh."

"Especially after all the time you've spent favoring her brother."

There it was. And the dig struck home, too. Ford's stomach twisted. He'd never forgive himself for only confiding in Dipper about his history with Bill or the danger of the rift—and in the process, setting up Mabel to be the next one Bill tricked and exploited.

And as much as he wished he could say otherwise, he hadn't done much better in the months since then. Shortly after arriving home, Dipper had started having nightmares about Bill possessing or harassing him. When Dipper had those nightmares, usually Ford was the first person he called. He didn't want to disturb his parents or sister more than necessary, and he knew Ford kept odd hours in odd time zones and might be available at 3 a.m. California time—and most importantly, Ford had had more restless nights than he could count, waking up on strange worlds from nightmares of Bill. Ford was the only one who could understand what Dipper was going through: that unique sanity-shaking terror that came from knowing it was a dream, but still not knowing whether it was real.

Those late-night reassurance sessions and the conversations he'd had with Dipper after he calmed down had brought both of them closer. Ford was glad that when Dipper had most needed somebody, Ford was able to be that person—but he hated that in giving Dipper that support, he'd only widened the gap in the attention he gave Dipper and Mabel.

But she had her own life, with friends and school and hobbies—so many hobbies—Dipper had told Ford, laughing, about how she'd had to juggle her parkour lessons with library craft classes—and Ford didn't have excuses to talk to Mabel the way he did Dipper, and so what could Ford do about it? (What could Ford do about it? He actually didn't know. He'd always been abysmal at socialization, even just keeping up with friends and family. And that was before he'd gone thirty years without steady human company.)

Ford had hoped he could make it up to Mabel this summer.

And then Bill happened.

He was smirking down at Ford like he knew he'd hit a bullseye.

Ford wondered how much Bill knew—if he'd assumed that the way Ford neglected Mabel last summer had continued, or if he'd had some way to spy on them over the past school year... or if she'd told him. "My family's none of your business, Bill."

Ford could almost see the gears in Bill's head turning—no doubt mentally trying out various retorts to find the most cutting—but when he spoke again, he simply changed topics. "So hey, what'd you think of that translation? Helpful at all?"

Dryly, Ford said, "You mean the one you translated into another alien language?"

"Wrong-o. I translated it into an alien writing system. It's a human language."

"What?" Ford rummaged through his briefcase for the "translated" pages. "Which language?"

"C'mon, Fords—Ford, where's the fun in just telling you? I want to see if you can figure it out yourself," Bill said. As Ford's scowl deepened, Bill added, "Give you a hint: it's a language you've studied."

A language he'd studied... Did that mean only second languages, or was English an option? No, if English was a possibility, Bill probably would have said "it's a language you know." Unless he was trying to distract Ford from the possibility it was English. He'd keep English on the list. He ought to start by counting up the number of distinct letters, if Bill had used a simple substitution cipher that might rule out some options...

He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at the first page of the crayon translation when he heard the attic bedroom door open. Mabel came bounding downstairs in a hot pink sweater that said "YOU ROCK!" over a drum kit. "I used to have a sweater with a crystal heart on it but I think I left it in Piedmont! This'll have to do..." She slowed at the landing, giving Bill a questioning look, and then stopped when she saw Ford looking up at them. "What's up?"

Before Ford could speak up, Bill said, "I was asking Stanford about an alien translation I helped him with this morning, that's all! I don't think he's too grateful. Hey—crystal shop, right?" He beamed at Mabel. "Bring me something fun!"

Mabel beamed back. "Ok—!"

"No," Ford said.

"No," Mabel immediately repeated. "Nope! Nuh-uh, crystals are off the list of acceptable prisoner amenities."

Bill sighed deeply. "All right, fine. I guess I'll just go without the simple pleasure of a cool-looking rock in my final days."

Mabel laughed. "You're such a whiner. I'll draw you a stupid rock." She hopped down the stairs. "See you later!"

"Hey, Shooting Star," Bill said. "Stay safe out there, okay?" The way he said it like a warning, and the way Mabel immediately paused mid-step, made the hair on the back of Ford's neck stand on end.

He held open the door, glared up at Bill, and said calmly, "We'll be back by dinner."

Bill didn't reply. He just smiled.

The moment the door shut, Mabel looked up at Ford, brows furrowed. "Sooo... what was all that about an alien translation?"

Ford showed Mabel the papers. "He rifled through my bag when I wasn't looking, put a translation in a cipher, and dared me to crack it."

"Ah!" Mabel's puzzled look evaporated. "I knew he was up to something! At least he's just being a jerk instead of a supervillain." She laughed.

Ford smiled in relief. He hadn't lost her yet. "This time, anyway."

"This time!"

As they walked around the shack to Stan's car, Mabel tentatively took Ford's hand. He squeezed hers back just a little too tight.

####

Part of Mabel was nervous to hang out with Ford—just Ford, without Dipper or Stan there as well. He loved her, of course—she knew he loved her, and she loved him—but they didn't simply hang out. Last summer, she'd usually been the one to talk to him first, and they rarely spoke over the school year unless it was part of a family call. She got it—last summer he'd been busy with Bill stuff, during the school year he'd been busy with adventuring, and this summer he was busy with Bill stuff again—and Ford and Dipper had more in common to talk about—so it was fine, really. She understood. But even so, being alone with him kinda made her feel like she was in trouble.

But she'd had nothing to worry about. As they hit the road, there'd been a few minutes of awkward small talk—the kinds of questions adults always asked kids when they couldn't think to ask anything else, so, what kinds of classes are you taking next year—but once they hit common ground the conversation got rolling. Mabel had agonized over whether to join the yearbook or take art class, since she only had room in her electives for one, and had finally settled on art; Ford revealed that one year in high school he'd only taken biology and physics and passed up chemistry so that he could take an art class, had kicked himself over it when taking college chemistry courses, but now decades later he was glad he'd made the effort to preserve his artistic side even as he cultivated his scientific mind. Somehow, even though she'd spent all summer looking over Dipper's shoulder at Ford's illustrations in Journal 3, it had never quite dawned on her that being a scientist didn't mean Ford wasn't also an artist.

They talked about their preferred drawing tools—Ford liked the precision and detail of pencils and pens, while Mabel preferred the smooth drawing experience, vibrant hues, and color-blending potential of crayons. They talked about what they liked drawing—Ford typically drew from life, but said he greatly admired Mabel's creative imagination. Ford talked about blueprints and engineering diagrams like they were artwork, talked about protractors and compasses and rulers like they were art tools; and Mabel figured that blueprints were like very angular versions of the intricate star, swirl, and squiggle patterns she liked filling page margins with, so maybe that was a kind of art. They agreed that the greatest artistic masters of the modern age were the people who made those crazy paintings for the covers of fantasy paperback novels. They both couldn't stand watercolor painting and didn't understand how people could control the paint well enough to make it look good, rather than just sort of leak faintly-colored puddles around the page—although Mabel, at least, was willing to give watercolors another shot.

And from artwork they moved on to talking about Mabel's hopes for high school and Ford's memories of that time—the good and the bad. (Ford asked Mabel to have mercy if the class nerd ever awkwardly attempted to flirt with her at a school dance; she could tell the nerd "no" if she wanted, just please don't pour punch all over his suit.) And then they talked about music (they were surprised at how many synth-poppy new-wavy favorites they had in common, and Mabel was heartbroken to learn how much of the 80s he still had to catch up on), and then about all the new technology Mabel thought Ford had probably missed out on and the equivalent technology he'd encountered out in the multiverse, and then some of the adventures he'd had and people he'd met out in other dimensions...

And Mabel kept expecting Bill to come up, but he never did.

The hour drive from Gravity Falls to the outskirts of Portland consisted mostly of wide flat roads self-consciously hustling through forests, as if the cars were embarrassed visitors who'd stepped into the wrong room. Low wooden buildings clustered together in twos and threes beneath the trees like dogs sitting at their owners' feet. The occasional A-frame house peered curiously down at the road through the pines and firs. Mabel peered curiously back.

In the distance, hazy blue mountains bristling with trees tried to bite the sky. Sometimes, Mabel could imagine an X-shaped rip in the sky vomiting colors onto a distant mountain. Not for the first time, she wondered what Weirdmageddon had looked like from outside Roadkill County. She'd searched online, but never found any pictures.

They passed a bright red shop with dozens of wood-carved statues of bears and Bigfoot in the parking lot, and a cute little white house with a metal sculpture of an ostrich sitting in the front yard, and a teeny tiny shack next to a chop-your-own-Christmas-tree farm—"You hack it, we'll pack it". Seeing a gas station beside a trailer-sized drive-thru coffee shop felt like stumbling upon a carnival. Eventually, the trees peeled back to reveal a strip of colorful but run-down local shops lining either side of Route 26; which bloomed into a proper small town, houses painted cloud white and sky blue on one side of the road, a hunter green motel-style apartment building on the other side, though Mabel could always see the trees waiting just a few streets beyond the main road; and then another small town, which beat the trees back even further; and then their surroundings gently became the suburban outskirts of Portland as they got on the highway.

"The crystal shop was somewhere on the north side of the highway," Ford said, gesturing to the right. So far, all that had gone by on the right had been trees, warehouses, and distant clusters of houses. "I didn't get a long look at it, but it had some mystical-sounding name and it was in a row of storefronts with a pole sign next to the highway. The sign had a cutout in the middle for a stained glass window shaped like a diamond."

"Oooh, fancy."

"And very distinctive. We should have no trouble finding the place again."

The highway ran elevated above the homes and businesses below. After a few miles, a railroad wove up alongside the highway. Ford glanced at the railroad with a puzzled frown. Mabel asked, "Should we have passed it by now?"

"I'm... not sure. I thought we would have—when we were traveling the other direction, I seem to remember I didn't see it long before we exited the highway—but..." He trailed off. "We can't possibly have missed it. That sign stood out like a sore, bejeweled thumb."

Mabel made a mental note to try bedazzling her fingernails. "Are you sure it was on this side of the highway?"

"Positive. I saw it to my left as we were traveling east and considering asking Soos and Stan if they'd mind exiting the highway to visit it, but I decided that would take too much time since it was on the wrong side of the highway and we'd have to do a U-turn. So now it should be on our side of the highway." He gestured demonstratively to the right. "I'm sure of it."

"Okay." Mabel propped her chin in her hand and stared out the window again. A wall of concrete and trees rose up along the right side of the highway, and Ford's frown deepened.

When they reached the exit for the airport, Mabel finally had to admit to herself that there probably was no crystal shop.

Her stomach flip-flopped as Ford silently exited the highway, pulled into a strip mall parking lot, and parked. He stared out the windshield, frowning in deep thought, staring into the distance.

This is it, Mabel thought, ankles twisting together, fingers digging into the bench seat cushion.

Ford said, "We can't have missed the shop. That sign was taller than anything in the area. We couldn't have overlooked it if we'd tried."

Mabel's stomach slowly de-flipped. "Maybe they closed?" she suggested. "Or maybe something knocked the sign down!" In the week and a half since Ford had last come this way.

"Maybe," Ford said dubiously.

Mabel pulled out her phone to search for Portland crystal shops and rock shops. "There's some shops in town, but I... don't see any up here? Maybe they closed years ago and only just took the sign down?"

"Hmm. It seems unlikely, but... I don't know what else could have happened." He glanced at Mabel's phone. "What are you looking at? Do you have the yellow pages in there?"

"Um..." Mabel shrugged. "Kinda?"

Ford sighed. "Well, if we can't find the crystal shop I saw, I suppose we could visit another one. I did promise you crystals. Can you give me directions with that thing?"

Mabel gave him a hesitant, thoughtful look; but then she nodded, grinned, and said, "Sure! You drive, I'll navigate! This'll be easy!"

####

They missed the store four times.

####

The store Mabel had dug up was a general magic shop named Lunar Blessings, on the ground level of a mixed-use building. It was surrounded by apartments up above, a beauty salon to the left, and a tax preparation service to the right. They carefully stowed Stan's car in the parking garage.

"For my thirtieth birthday, I made a trip to Portland and got a cake at a bakery that used to be on this block," Ford said, looking up at the compact brick-like building that now filled the block. "It must have gone out of business." So many little things had changed.

Mabel was treating the sidewalk like a huge hopscotch board as they approached the magic shop, taking huge leaps between each concrete square. As the storefront came into sight, she said, "You know those souvenir shops with trays of polished rocks and little bags you can fill up?"

"The little brown suede bags? Yes, I've seen those. I think they're terrific gifts for young fans of geology." He probably would have gotten one himself as a child, but he hadn't started seeing them until adulthood.

"I have like eight of those bags!" Mabel declared. "I collect them whenever I can! Last summer I tried to talk Grunkle Stan into adding them to the Mystery Shack, but he said they were too easy to shoplift. He let me buy a fake gold nugget for half price, though!" She looked up at Ford hopefully. "A store full of crystals probably has something like that, right? Or at least a few cheap small rocks? Those bags are only, like, five dollars."

Solemnly, Ford said, "Your shopping budget is fifty dollars."

Mabel stumbled her last jump and almost fell. "What! Are you serious!"

"I've been in places like this before. These days you can't get anything decent for five dollars." He offered her a half smile. "Anyway, I missed out on thirty years of spoiling my nephew and my great-niece and great-nephew. I've got to make up for lost time."

Mabel flung her arms around Ford—"Thank you thank you thank you!"—and flung open the store door. "Rockmongers! Show me to your biggest, fanciest crystals! You've got a big spender in the house!" The door swung shut.

By the time Ford made it in, Mabel was saying, somewhat sheepishly, "Show me to your second fanciest crystals." Ford spied her next to an amethyst geode almost as tall as she was and hurried over.

Mabel took his hand and whispered, "You weren't kidding. Fifty dollars doesn't take you far in this place."

Ford grinned. "Funny, isn't it? Considering that you can just dig this stuff out of the ground."

Mabel nodded. "Like potatoes."

Like potatoes. Ford couldn't believe he'd missed out on thirteen years of this kid.

####

The shop boasted books on metaphysics and magic spells; sculptures depicting an undifferentiated mix of global religious figures and fantasy creatures; fake dream catchers with plastic beads and neon-dyed feathers; shelves stuffed with herbs, incense, tarot cards, and more; and most importantly of all: crystals, crystals, rocks, and crystals. Raw stones, polished tumbled stones, carved into figurines and mystical shapes, arranged by rock type in roughly rainbow order around the walls.

It was the kind of place where, once upon a time, Ford would have eagerly spent half an afternoon, browsing the books for something intellectually stimulating amidst the rows of hokey hocus-pocus, scoffing at the promised protections listed on the cards by each type of crystal but still glancing over the crystals themselves for something that might look pleasant on his desk. Not a believer in the melting pot of New Age beliefs being peddled, but still acknowledging he'd dedicated his life to seeking the same things people sought in shops like this.

He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever feel comfortable in a magic shop again.

He'd hardly been in the shop a minute before he saw a gold-foiled pyramid with an Eye of Horus on the side. And then small pyramids constructed out of seven layers of stone, forming an inverted rainbow from purple down to red. "Divine Eye"-brand incense sticks with a brown logo stamped onto each package depicting an uncannily realistic eye on a pyramid. Milky translucent selenite pyramids. Multiple different tarot decks—simple woodcut designs, complex oil paintings, punkish collage art—that featured an eye in a triangle somewhere on the box art. Shiny black pyramids with copper coils wrapped around them. A poster with a psychedelic Eye of Providence. Pyramids in a dozen other colors and stones. With so many hostile triangles around, even the familiar, watchful nazar and eyed hamsa amulets now seemed to stare at him too hard.

It was almost a relief when Ford spotted, between sculptures of Shiva and a severe-looking angel, one sculpture that was unmistakeably Bill himself. He was seated with his legs in lotus position, "floating" by attaching to a wall of flames behind him, with two blue glass flames in his hands. Anything else in this shop left Ford with the nervous uncertainty of whether the artist had been depicting Bill, or just an innocuous Eye of Providence symbol a hundred generations removed from its initial inspiration. But this sculpture, down to the hat and bow tie, left no doubt.

Ford reminded himself that it shouldn't be a comfort to see Bill's face; and he didn't like that he had to remind himself.

He gingerly pictured up the sculpture, surprised at how light it was, and inspected the bottom. It had a logo stamped on it that matched the logo on sculptures of at least a dozen other less malevolent entities in the store; the shop had probably bought them en masse and wasn't affiliated with Bill. But somewhere out there was an artist who was. Ford wondered where they were.

####

"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel bounded up to him, grinning.

Ford flinched when his name was called and turned away from the shelf he'd been inspecting a little too fast, like he'd been caught doing something wrong—but he gave her his full, polite attention. "Yes?"

"Look what I found in the window! It makes rainbows when the sunlight hits it! Like a prism-pyramid! A prismid! A pyrismid?" She shrugged. "Anyway, isn't it awesome! Free rainbows, everywhere, forever!" She beamed at Ford, holding her clear glass pyramid up for him to inspect; but when she saw the look on his face, she slowly lowered it. "What's wrong?"

Ford forced a tense smile. "Oh, it's... I'm sorry, Mabel. You're right, it is very impressive. But—" He winced, glancing away, voice dropping, "Bill happens to be fond of those, too. I used to have—dozens of those."

Mabel's cheeks heated up. "Oh." Now that she thought back, she distantly recalled seeing a similar pyramid in the room with the switcheroo carpet, although she'd never seen it in the sunlight. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Sorry. I can put it back. I saw some pink cats and these resin hearts filled with gold flakes? They were cute."

It took Ford a second to speak; Mabel wasn't sure he'd even heard what she'd said. "He didn't put the idea of getting one of these in your head, did he?"

"What? No!" Mabel said. "Of course not! When would he have even brought it up?"

"You... have been spending a lot of time around him lately."

"Pffft!" Mabel rolled her eyes. "Like when?"

####

"Okay," Stan called from the kitchen, a tray of raw burgers in front of him, "ready to start grilling! How does everyone want their burgers? Your options are 'medium rare' and 'overcooked.'"

Mabel stuck her head in the kitchen. "I want mine with sprinkles mixed in!"

Stan grimaced. "Sweetie, that sounds awful—"

Bill stuck his head in over Mabel's. "I want sprinkles too."

"I'm not making you a burger!"

Mabel chanted, "Sprinkles, sprinkles—" and Bill joined in, "—sprinkles, sprinkles, sprinkles—!"

####

Mabel pointed at one of the cartoon animal drawings on the blackboard. "And the orange one is...?"

Bill, sitting on the living room floor with a notepad and a yellow pencil, raised his hand, even though he was Mabel's only audience. "Teddy Tender!"

"And his job is...?"

"Healing! Uh—doctoring and social reconciliation! He's like a therapist medic."

"Correct! Full points!"

"Yes!"

"And the indigo one?"

Bill squinted at the fishy-looking creature. "The Mystic Dolphin."

"Close enough, I'll give it to you! Misty the Dolphin. Her job?"

Bill frowned. "Psychic powers."

"No."

"Purple has psychic powers."

"No!"

"Who has psychic powers, then!"

"Nobody has psychic powers, man, we've been over this!"

Bill groaned. "Is Misty going to be on the test?"

"Of course she is! We can't just skip over Misty! Indigo gets shortchanged in artistic depictions of rainbows enough as it is!"

"Misty is stupid! She can't even visit the rest of the critters!" Bill chucked his notebook at the blackboard. It smacked it harmlessly and flopped to the floor.

Mabel gave him a stern look. "You'll never grasp the deeper thematic concepts in Color Critters if you can't see that Misty's an equal part of the team regardless of her handicaps."

Bill groaned again.

####

"Hey dudes," Soos said, opening the attic door. "Do you know where my laundry went? I can't find my green t-shirt, and—"

Mabel was wearing Soos's green t-shirt, which went down to her calves like a loose dress. Bill was hot glueing construction paper flowers all over the shirt.

Arms outstretched in a T shape, Mabel said, "I'm the flower queen."

"She's the flower queen," Bill said.

Soos looked between them both, flashed Mabel a double thumbs up, said, "You look beautiful, dawg," and shut the door.

####

Mabel kicked a foot sheepishly. "I haven't been spending that much time with him."

"That was all in the last three days," Ford said.

Mabel winced. "Okay, fine—but—it's all been harmless stuff! Nothing Bill can use to conquer the world or anything! I'm not even letting him use the scissors! And I promise he's not doing anything evil under my supervision. He's actually been really well behaved—"

"That's exactly what worries me!" Ford snapped. He sighed harshly. "Mabel—I'm not surprised he's treating you decently. It's what I expected. I... I've actually been meaning to talk to you about this for a few days."

Mabel immediately went cold. Stay safe out there, okay? "Oh. Yeah?"

"I understand you're just trying to be kind, but considering who we're dealing with here—and how willing he is to exploit and abuse even our best virtues—I'm worried you're not being careful enough around him."

Mabel was never careful enough, was she? Not even careful enough to be trusted with a snow globe, much less anything important. Voice thick, she asked, "Is that why we're here?" She gestured around the magic shop.

Ford hesitated just long enough to give her her answer. "I... didn't think this was a conversation we should have inside the shack."

Mabel looked down at her hands, saw the stupid glass pyramid, and nearly flung it on the floor in frustration. Instead, she set it on the nearest shelf. Don't break anything. Under her breath, she muttered, "Bill said you'd do something like this."

"Bill said? Bill said?! Of course he would, that's just like him. What kind of nonsense has he been filling your head with?"

####

"Honestly, I'm surprised Ford hasn't said anything about you talking to me yet," Bill said, carefully taping construction paper petals together into flowers. "But mark my words—if he's taken this long, it's only because he's waiting for an opportunity to scold you where I can't overhear. He'll probably lure you out somewhere fun—go to the zoo or something. Then he'll let you have it."

"Pfff, come on!" Mabel focused on cutting out the next few flower petals. "He wouldn't 'let me have it.' If it bothered him that much, he'd have said so by now."

"You, my friend, have never seen him get really mad. I have. For the sake of argument, maybe I deserved it, fine—but he's got a tendency to aim that hate at anybody I'm friends with, too. So don't think you're safe."

Mabel paused, then shook her head. "No." She threw another bunch of petals at Bill to tape together. "He wouldn't hate me. We're family."

"If you were your brother, I'd agree with you. As it is, though..." Bill dumped a half dozen finished flowers in Mabel's lap. "Honestly, I can't even tell how he feels about you. Can you?"

####

Mabel flinched. "Obviously what he's filling my head with isn't nonsense, because he was right! You took me all the way to Portland by promising a stupid crystal shop that doesn't exist—"

"What?! Mabel, that's ridiculous! Just listen to m—"

"Why are you yelling! Why are you mad at me, I was only trying to be nice to him!" She let out a sob. "I didn't do anything wrong this time!"

Ford froze. "Mabel..."

She ran out of the crystal shop, crying. Ford watched her go, paralyzed. Mad at her? He was mad at Bill, if anybody. Mad at her?

He turned helplessly toward the shopkeeper, as if the only other adult in the store could help him out. "I'm... sorry for the disturbance."

The shopkeeper shrugged her shoulder in vague sympathy. "She upset over some guy?"

"Not that way." Thank goodness for that. "She's just..." He sighed. "She's been making friends with a very bad influence."

####

The entire crystal shop trip was initially one super long chapter that I cut in two. They would have been about equal length if I'd ended this chapter after Ford saw the Bill statue. I decided not to do that. I did that to be mean. ♡

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #mabel pines #grunkle ford #(he's not in the art but he's costar of this chapter)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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erinnkenobi · 1 year

Text

After the Fisher King | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Chapter two - Chapter three

Pairing | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings | friends to lovers!?

Summary | You're always ahead of 'em, it seems we got another nerd.

Author's note | English ain't my native language, yet I still writing because I want to share the stories inside my head

You start living alone, since the moment moved to work for the FBI, especially in Quatico at the BAU department, surely that you missed your parents, but it was time for the little bird to leave its nest. Although to make you a company you have a trained female German Shepherd, only the both of you sharing a home. (IN a condominium of houses, kind of a safer option, both of your closest neighbours are an old lady and the other is a solo mom with two kids)

The last case you're with Hotchner team, the team that you belong to, you were the only that look askance at Bruno, you reported that to Gideon and he said:–"You always are inclined to think most people are the ones that you should mistrust and...You always get the right unsub, but now, wait a little and maintain this information for yourself, I'll talk with Bruno now."

When you left the room Spencer was following with curiosity:–"What were you two talking about?"

You just can't ignore and sound rude, so you stop and turns to him.

–I think I might know who is the spy..-he interrupts with ease.

Since you two met you were also a strange "kid" from the rest of 'em, you never drank alcohol, not even used to go to pub's, while on working you always were putting a puzzle together or sketching something that resembles the case the team was working, you're quiet most of time thinking while the others start with brainstorming to set up the unsub profile, but you, you always mistrusted people on these cases, except your team, you're the quickiest to ensure the final answer.

At first it was kind tough to get in with the team, although ye are finally were able to communicate with them, Spencer as both of you has the same age he feels comfortable.

– Who do you think it is?-he's by your side now.

– The headmaster...-you say with a unaudible tone, yet he didn't understood you, so he leans down making you blush.

– I didn't understood, could you repeat again?-he leans his face right by your face side, even being an agent this doesn't means you're free from feelings, you mind went blank for milliseconds but thou swear it was minutes.

Spencer Reid heard you plenty well.

– I said, I think 99% our unsub is the old mate of Gideon, the one that is at the command and I'm talking like that because i don't want anybody discovering beforehand it's time, Gideon asked me to hide it.

Reid thought for a couple of seconds.

– Where is the 1%?

– Really?-you rolled your eyes, but he doesn't smile yet still with his blues eyes gluet at your figure filled with curiosity.

– The 1% is just if I made a mistake judging his character, though I know I'm right.

– I believe in you, yet our team should still work on the case.. I won't tell anybody until its time.

– Thanks?

– You know.- he stands in front of you.-You could have said no, that it was confidential your thoughts.-you chuckle unbelievable.

– Why would I do this?

– Because Gideon asked you to do so.- yup, but as you have a crush on him you wouldn't deny it and if you were one more time right, who knows, you like comoliments.

– Because we're mates and you can say, if I were right, "y/l/n was right since the beginning, again".-he giggles shaking his head.

– I don't know what to say, really, but since you're working with us, sometimes you threaten my position and also Gideon's.-you laugh uncomfortably and he noticed apologising quickly.– Sorry I didn't meat to offend you, what I-I...-he stutters.– I'm trying to say is with you, with us, I have to give my best and be by your side.-you opened your eyes surprised, what was he saying?- How do you do that, always guessing the right unsub with lack information?

– Wanna know how?

– Yeah, tell me your secret and I promise I'll keep it, I mean it and I won't tell Gideon.

It was amazing this interaction, you're the first person Spencer was able to maintain a conversation without making him felt uncomfortable.

—Aristotle once said: "No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness", besides it's all my paranoia telling me, they say, to think outside the box and visualise, however, my paranoia is always thinking at the same time in and outside the box now, I guess that our problem is inside the box.-his face brightened, when he was ready to ask one more thing, Hotchner called Spencer.

You're at the hospital waiting for any news of agent Elle when you got a call from Reid.

–You were right, our unsub was Bruno and Gideon mentioned that you were the first to guess it right, is Elle alright?

–Hmmm, thanks.-you say sheepishly.-And yes, she will survive, Gideon is with her now, Nadir and the children are safe?

–Yes, and Hassan is under arrest.

You were able to smile when he said that.

Case closed

[Time breaks]

–Woah.- when you arrived at home last night you received a phone call from Hotchner demanding you show up at BAU, you thought you would enjoy your holiday travelling around London visiting historical museums and libraries, you paid for your ticket and even told your cousin you would pay if he/she helped you looking after your precious dog and now, for what? No London anymore baby.

At BAU, you sit with them around the table.

–What happened? I was supposed to take a plane to London today.

– I know.-Gideon says.-But Hotchner and I received a peculiar message, I received a head in a box, at the only place I thought I were safe with a note, mentioning your last name.-you opened your eyes in shock.

–What it says?

–Not only it says something as well Hotchner also received a phone call that somehow connect you.

– Then..?

– It says "The magician shall not help..."-Hotchner says coming inside the room, stern look as always.

You huff shrinking in the chair.

– and mine says "y/n shall stay out out out out out" repeatedly more than 20 times.

–Wow.-you smile with no humour.–Why? What does it mean?-you already know why.

– It means our unsub wants you out of this case.-Gideon says.

Garcia show up shameful of her acts, just for playing a silly game it exposed everybody position, except yours, why? Well, you used vpn, you're good at blurring your information, your address and even when you're out making your supermarket shopping.

– He has information about everyone.-poor Garcia.-He invaded my-my system, because I was playing a game, but not of BAU computers, yet in mine laptop, however I need to connect.

Yup, you don't blame her, well because you hide your own information, you house isn't addressed correctly and the unsub couldn't get a good picture of you, he knows that you're smart, he don't want the this case ending soon. He knew with you in, you would be the one going to discovery his profile.

Summing up, Hotchner had to ask you to retire only in this case, but you shouldn't go home alone, so Hotchner told an agent to follow with you back home and stay there. But you have a stubborness and reckless behaviour, which Reid knows as well the rest of the team, besides this, when Elle was shot, the plan to make you get rid of this case went downhill, now you're in and you brought your dog.

–Can I pet, what is the name of your dog?-Spencer asks you, getting you surprised, the dog just stared at you as if asking "Can he, mom?Tell my name".

You alert him:-Just be careful, she's trained, any false move and you got yourself a stump.-Reid hesitate and you laughed.-I'm kidding, just be gentle and it's Nala, you know, Lion King, Simba's wife.

He breathe in relief with a grin, he leans down so he could smooth her fur, she accepted without growling, what's a win.

She liked him, but you wouldn't tell, it's not important now.

The rest of the case went okay, the whole time you were found helping Garcia to check the information and between this time you were able to be alone with Reid deciphering the riddles.

He told you about his mother when he called the sanitarium and requested for her presence.

Your dog was asleep near the couch while you were alone with his mother, you were able to maintain a friendly conversation, talking about medieval literature, Spencer saw it before entering the room question his mother.

When everything settled down, Spencer wanted to talk with you in private which you all willingly agreed, when he asked it was so funny the way he asked while gesturing with his hands, you noticed he was nervous.

–So after all this mad case and the explosion afterwards you still up to a "meeting", where's the others?-you look around the table searching for them, you wondered if he'd invited the rest of the team, yet he did not.

Spencer is with pink tints in his face, you got you answer but you will wait for his.

– Well... I didn't invited the rest of the team, only you.

– And why? Did you want to question me why our unsub dismissed miserably my part on this case?

– No, this I already know the answer, you're like Merlin, the sorcerer, you're able to hide your address ip, so you're also a computer genius.

– You flatten me, yet I'm not into TI and software area, but I know a couple of things.

– Much to manage and hide your localisation from the F.B.I and even CIA.-you rolled your eyes with wit.

– You got me now.-you chuckle.

It seemed as a date, yet you strongly disagreed on that matter, you didn't fit his standard, he kissed an actress cases ago.

[...] Spencer escort you to your house, both of you all the way long speaking of nerd stuff, every single topic he was captivated by you and you for him, whatsoever you couldn't be in love, love is not for you.

–Now you're the only one that knows where I live, don't split okay.-you blinked opening hour door.-It's late and I don't think I can't let you go.-oh boy, his stomach churned, yet yours were in full adrenaline but keep with a cool face.– Come in, Nala already knows you.

He hesitated, but you're good at convincing, since the Fisher King case is not safe to be let alone, him in this case, you have your loyal Nala.

Nala is sleep on her own bed near the TV desk in the living room.

–Doctor Reid, I have only my room, you can stay with my bed, I stay with sofa, I don't mind at all.

– No no no, I can use the sofa and you stay with your own bed, please.-you cross your arms staring at him.

– Are you sure?

– Definitely, no worry with me.

You rolled your eyes again with a sheepishly smile.

–I'll change, do you mind?-Reid just reddened shaking negatively his head.

– No no, I don't and..

– I have men clothes, do you want?-for a moment his shy grin fades as quickly as your humorous expression.

– I bought a couple of jumpers and pants at the shopping mall, so I could use when..when..

–When?-Reid stares at you making you feel small.

– When I feel alone, I mean, I have no time to date or anything else rather work or read something to get me out of this world, with male clothes, bigger than my size, I feel comfy.

Oh he understood, first time that he seems you showing any feelings, everybody thought you were more cold-hearted than Hotchner, always cool in any case, as if nothing could surprise you anymore at such young age. How did you ended at BAU?

Well, as far as you can remember you only studied, an exchange program in the UK for 2 years and the other years at the USA and here we are, working at BAU alongside a beautiful colleague that you don't mind admiring from a far.

–I don't know if I..

– It's okay if you don't want and I swear, they're all clean and tidy.

– I didn't meant that they weren't is just

– Hey, I'm not obliging you, but I have an extra toothbrush, never used.

– Thanks.

Minutes later you appeared with a huge navy blue jumper with a star wars short, free hair nothing on it, his heart skipped a beat.

–Hungry? We didn't eat anything for a cozy night and as you're my guest, milk?

–Hm?-poor man is frozen.-I'd like, please.

You both were all smiley here and there while eating a soft lunch before bed time, it wasn't 00h yet.

–Poor Nala is staring at us.-Reid mentions making you look at her puppies eyes.–Can I give a piece of this bread/crackers?

–A medium to small size, just don't make her get used to it, don't fall for these puppy eyes.

He already fell for it, he fell for Nala's owner as smart as he is, he knows that you wouldn't get any of his feelings towards you, but inly if he didn't make a move...

[03h23 a.m]

You couldn't sleep well, so you get up, the funny and silly things is you're hearing voices and low growls trying to communicate .

The hallway heading to the kitchen, you has a roundy wood table and in there you see a sleeplessness Reid with your trained hunt dog, playing, you stood there with arms crossed staring at them, until they stop playing.

– Can't sleep?

– Yeah...

– Me neither.-you come a cross his chair side.-What are you doing, reading one of my books from my living room shelf?

‐ Sorry, I...

– Reid, we're friends, might not be best-friends, but I can believe you with my precious books.

– Wait.. We can be best friends?

– Hmm, I guess we can.-you smile without showing your teeth.

– I didn't know this was the way to claim somebody as best friends, you know, I thought this bond was supposed to happen without we even notice.

– Well, it can happens too, but I guess I'm making this clear now.-thumbs up, you make him smile again.

You both keep talking the whole night until you two fell asleep on the table near each other company, your hand touching his, his fingers slightly caressing yours, you didn't felt anything, you sleep like a damn rock, however Spencer is an early person, so with less than two hours to get up and go to work, he sees you and his hand caressing your, when he's aware he stopped yet still looking your hands near each other, you mutter something under your sleep.

He is now aware that he's fully awaken.

He doesn't want to wake you up, but he died anyway shaking you.

-Hmmm.-you unconsciously pushed him away.-No more cases for today pleasee, I just want to watch a period movie and feel in luuuv.-you complained with a tired tone.-but I work work work work in a madness world of crime.

-Y/n..-he approaches you again.-Wake up, we gotta go to BAU, you need to change and I'll head home.

You wake up atartled by his close presence, he gives you a smile.

–Morning, agent...I mean, y/n.-he says close next to your face with a husky voice.

Oh lord J.

#imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #doctor reid #spencer reid season 1-2

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gatzilksis-2 · 6 months

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10 Days Away

(this story includes fart kink and other adult elements)

Part One: 10 Hours Away

Chapter One: The First Stop

I sat in the back of a white SUV, next to my best friend Jimmy. I was the scrawny one. He was a bulky mix of fat and muscle, feathery brown hair and a pinkish face with a kept goatee and rectangular glasses.

Jimmy's mother Anna sat in front of him, and her husband was driving. Kyle was Jimmy's stepfather, a heavy, tall man with a thick beard. He took up every inch of his seat.

Jimmy and I had been best friends since high school. We were well over adults now, both of us 23. He was the only person I could never tire of. We always had fun, and we always laughed our asses off.

A heavy, guttural smell hit me. I glanced at Jimmy, who was already grinning. I was used to the intense smell of his gas, though sometimes he pushed it beyond my limit.

"Oh, James!" Anna rolled down her window, fanning a hand in front of her face. "Please don't stink up the car on this trip, you two!"

She wasn't referring to me but Kyle. The bear-like stepfather was also gifted in the fart department, though I couldn't stand his. Too bad.

"This'll be the longest trip we've taken together." Jimmy got into another lane and scratched his beard. "I'll try to hold it for stops."

"Thank you." Anna grasped Kyle's free hand.

"Are we getting food?" Jimmy yelled.

"If you stop shitting," Kyle responded, a smirk cutting through his facial hair.

"I can't promise anything," Jimmy returned, bumping my shoulder with his own. "Ask Zac. I never hold it."

"True," I confirmed.

"It's about respect, son," said Kyle.

"Well, respect that I fart a lot." Jimmy shrugged emphatically.

Fifteen minutes later, we stopped at a rest area to eat some fast food at a picnic table. Anna was afraid we'd make a mess in the car. He might've been smelly, but Jimmy wasn't messy.

"You know we're not kids anymore?" Jimmy asked his mother.

"You'll always be kids to me, James," she replied.

BWOOOOORRRT!

The sound emanated from the bench beside her, where Kyle's obese form leaned away from his wife. Her mouth fell open.

"Bad idea!" Jimmy and I chimed in unison.

Anna gasped and coughed, only seconds before Kyle's hot garbage and egg fart reached across the table.

Anna turned away to cough more and spat in the grass. She turned back to Kyle with a glare and her lips in a straight, serious line.

He shrugged as he grabbed for his triple cheeseburger in the bag. "It's a stop, ain't it?"

"You're not funny." Anna slid away from him, grabbing her salad bag.

"I think he's funny." I took two medium fries out of our bag and set two burgers in front of Jimmy. It was our constant for fast food; I took his fries, he took my burger.

"Don't encourage him," said Anna.

We fell into silence as we ate. I looked around at other people at the rest area. I had a feeling much of the trip would be gassy, especially after this meal.

"I can't wait to get to the cabin," I said. "I can't stop looking at the pictures."

"Don't get too excited." Kyle burped and smiled. "My brothers are gonna give you so much hell."

"For being gay?" I asked.

"No. It's just what they do." Jimmy rolled his eyes behind a glare on his spectacles.

"And fart, just like him." Anna pushed Kyle's shoulder.

He closed one eye and leaned forward. VWAAAMP! Anna slapped his arm again, and Kyle laughed into his burger.

"Farts sound so funny on picnic benches." Jimmy's mouth was full, but I was fluent in full-mouth. To prove his point, he leaned to point his ass towards me. BRRR-WAP!

"James!" Anna exclaimed in the exact way she had hundreds of times before.

"We want them to get it all out now, right?" I bit a pinch's worth of fries. Jimmy's stink was hot and thick, but I'd been smelling that smell for seven years.

"That's not how digestion works, Zac." Kyle talked with his mouth full, too. Crumbs from the bun and salt from the fries were stuck in his beard. "It'll take a lil bit for all the red meat and cheese to kick in."

"You're so gross." Anna stood with her empty salad container and bag, throwing them in the closest trash can. "I'm gonna use the bathroom. You guys should try, so we won't have to stop as soon."

"I'll have to stop to fart," said Kyle.

"Oh God." Anna rolled her eyes and walked towards the small brick building.

Kyle swallowed his last bite and stood. He walked to the trash can and threw his stuff away, then turned and walked back. This time, however, Kyle headed towards our side of the table.

"Incoming!" I shouted.

Jimmy put his head down as Kyle jogged past us. FWRRMP-BLRRT-PWRRT!

I stood and hurried away from the table, before his cropdusting could enter my senses. Kyle was a notorious cropduster, but only when Anna wasn't around.

I threw mine and Jimmy's bag into a different trashcan. I wasn't going to follow the path of the fart. Kyle's farts stank so bad, and I suddenly became worried about the rest of the ten-hour drive.

#eproctophilia #farts #gatzilksis #eprocto #fart kink #flatulence #fart fiction #fart stories #male fart fiction #male fart stories

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cursedvibes · 1 month

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I saw "Gege" was trending in the Jujutsu Kaisen tag on twt, wanted to check it out to see what people were complaining about and...I don't know why I even bother... Yes, I have my criticism with Gege's writing too (as you might have noticed), but in this case it was really all just "Gege is sucking Sukuna off/Sukuna is the main character now". That was the only joke I saw in the tag, barely any actual points made. I always thought that complaint was ridiculous, barely any better than "Fraudkuna". Especially after ch 254. Nothing about the current fight makes it seem like the heroes have absolutely no chance, we're just stretching the time until we get to the actual meat of the fight surrounding the central conflict of Yuuji, Sukuna and Megumi. I get the impression the only reason people think this way is because they assume every character who is currently off screen is dead or permanently out of commission and couldn't possibly show up again in the future.

Besides that, Kusakabe losing to Sukuna isn't Gege over-hyping Sukuna, it's what's to be expected. The setup was already treated like a joke last chapter. If anything Kusakabe was the one getting overhyped (which I think was the point of 70% of the chapter). He's the one getting fan favourite characters say from beyond their grave directly to the "camera" what a strong, kind, beautiful, handsome boy he is. It's not organic or natural either, this wouldn't even work in animation unless you want to constantly jump between quick action shots and half a minute of Mei Mei doing her Kusakabe Character Analysis. I don't think the bit landed for me personally, it went on a little too long in my opinion, but characters going out of their way to praise Kusakabe was very much intentional and much more heavy-handed than anything we got for Sukuna. In his case it was mostly just the observation that grade 1 sorcerers won't be able to do much against him and that assessment has been very consistent. I don't think even Mei Mei, Nanami and Gojo would've said Kusakabe could solo Sukuna. Obviously that's not gonna happen no matter how good he might be otherwise.

I think the problem is how the general progression of the Shinjuku fight is written, not that the protagonists are struggling to take Sukuna down. And also that the group has horrible timing. I don't find it believable that Yuuji, Maki, Choso, Ino, Miguel, Utahime, Ijichi and Gakuganji all just happened to not be around to help Kusakabe out. If Miguel had been a few seconds faster he could've helped Kusakabe hold out until the others arrive, thereby avoiding losing another player and giving Shoko even more work. But no, he had to wait his turn until Kusakabe has been crossed off the list of possible opponents for Sukuna to intervene. That's what makes it so ridiculous in my eyes. They are just passing down the baton between each other. It feels similar although not quite as bad as the kids patiently watching the live stream of Gojo's death before they decide to jump in.

The memes about Gege sucking Sukuna's dick are just so overdone at this point and don't even point towards a real issue. Also funny that they don't say that any time Gojo or some other character who is currently fighting Sukuna gets excessively praised.

#jjk spoilers #jjk leaks #jjk 254

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strixcattus · 6 days

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Trying to get out my full battery of Pristine Cut theories I think are at least pretty realistic (some mine, some not—I don't recall where the ones that aren't mine came from)

(Bold text is edits from shortly after the initial post)

—Fury, Den, and Apotheosis will get significant expansions (pretty sure this one has been implicitly stated by the devs if not explicitly so) —Prisoner, Damsel, and Spectre will all get a unique Chapter III to finish the symmetry of the game —All of the expanded Chapter IIIs will end up with both more options/resolutions and more fleshing out to some of the existing options (feels a given, but I'm trying to be comprehensive here)

FURY —Adversary->Fury will come with even more Voices (Smitten and possibly Cheated would be my guesses) —The "unwinding" sequence will be longer and have more variation/options than the single line we have now —Something surreal is going to happen to the Fury as she unwinds us (based on that one art shared by the devs)

DEN —Expanded "failure" sequences—at the very least choosing the option that wasn't in your plan will be as fleshed out as EotN's "failure" and at most you might get a chance to turn things around —A "freeze" option to bring the whole set forward from the Beast into the Den —This one's more hope than theory but it'd be nice if you got the option to spare the Den if you're on the "fight" path. It'd also be nice if there were more of a sequence to freeing the Den on the "flight" path, but of the two the former seems more likely.

APOTHEOSIS —I'm not sure what to say about this one aside from "your choices have tangible meaning now" —It'd be neat if the Tower chapter got a little more meat that led to multiple ways to reach Apotheosis and thus multiple Voices you could gain from that chapter, but it doesn't seem too likely

PRISONER —Complete the set with Beast and Adversary by having a Chapter III that can be reached with both Stubborn and Hunted, with different storylines depending on which Voice you get —The Prisoner gets to kill you (and how you approach this determines which Voice you get) —I kind of want to see this chapter get brought into the "the blade gives you more options" fold by allowing you the chance to refuse to take the blade, thus locking you onto either chaining yourself up or one variant of the new Chapter III —We're finally going to get a concrete justification for why the Prisoner, despite being one of the more cooperative Princesses, has the same font as the more inhuman/combative Princesses

DAMSEL —I think we're generally in agreement that the "up the stairs" image is probably for the new Chapter III —General consensus also seems to be that either we tell the Damsel to kill us or we insist on staying in the cabin with her forever —I personally favor the former theory since it would explain how we die (to move on to Chapter III) and it would add to the "taking the blade gives you more options" theme —We'll finally get another Chapter III that uses the font shared by the more gentle/human Princesses —Likely Voice candidates for the new chapter would be Contrarian or possibly Skeptic (Contra seems more likely, but I'm keeping an open mind)

SPECTRE —Possibility that the new Chapter III will only be accessible with the blade, though I can't imagine what it would be in that case —Notable that this is the only Chapter II called out by the devs... we might be seeing a significant expansion leading up to the new chapter, or even leading up to another Chapter II resolution —Perhaps there's a change in the sequence after you decide to refuse the Spectre's possession without slaying her or leaving the basement? —My best guess right now as to the lead-in would be that the new chapter stems from slaying yourself while possessed (unlikely since it's already a Chapter II resolution—would lead to gaining either Stubborn or Contrarian) (or Opportunist?) —I'm going back and forth about whether the new chapter might come from choosing to stay in the basement instead of leaving or trying to slay the Princess—I actually wrote and deleted it when initially posting—this would maybe result in Paranoid, Smitten, or Contrarian? —Most likely I think there'll be an entirely new section of the chapter that leads into the new Chapter III —To be honest the one thing I really hope is that somehow Broken shows up—this is the one pairing I really wanted to see since discovering you could mix and match the Voices in Chapter III —Somewhere there will be an achievement called The Exorcist II (to go with The Exorcist and The Exorcist III)

#slay the princess #pristine cut theories #discussion is welcome

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danwhobrowses · 11 days

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One Piece Chapter 1112 - Initial Thoughts

3 Long Long Weeks

But finally we have returned, One Piece is back and the chaos resumes!

I'm glad Oda of course got to rest, but these weeks have been rough without it, so I'm eager to jump back into Egghead.

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too!

We continue with the Yamato-quest cover story, apparently he's asked Kin'emon for a favour and has compensated for it with payment

As the Mark IIIs get taken down, V. Nusjuro criticizes Vegapunk's decision to give Bonney 'the power to destroy nations'

Of course blind to the fact that they literally have been robbing a child of their parent and been trying to kill her, but yes poor you and your clone army will listen to their child over you

The Navy are still trying to target the Giants' ships, as we get back to the Vice Admirals confronting Bonney and Franky

Fuck yeah Franky! Bellamied that Vice Admiral Nine-Chins!

Bonney de-ages and kicks away the Shell Vice Admiral as well with ease

The transmission is still ongoing, Vegapunk has a sensitive mouth, given the tongue, so he's waiting for the coffee to cool

York leads Mars to the room where it was recorded, and Mars immediately went for the laser!

York continues to explain, stating that destroying the building is futile

We get another layout of Punk Records, sounds like it's an explosion hazard, gas cylinders that could blow Punk Records sky high

Mars suggests that York use their collective mind to figure out where Vegapunk hid the broadcaster, though York mentions something about 'sins' which Mars seems to pick up on

He also senses something in Punk Records, some decent observation haki

York details what the snail looks like and Mars flies off

In the control center, Stussy is alive and so is Kaku albeit still bubbled

I feel like it bodes poorly for her, with Lucci still moving and all, but Kaku asks whether she just got abandoned

Seems Stussy has a mission still to do, one she volunteered to stay behind for

Interesting though that Kaku didn't know it was Mars, given how Lucci did

Edison explains that Stussy is staying behind to lower the barrier

Also Robin panels! She's still in a med bed but this time she has dialogue!

The group still have concerns though how they'll get out without Vega Force 01, even though Edison says the odds are impossible

Usopp has a Coup de Burst set, but we're waiting on Zoro and Jinbe, it may come down to improvisation

Edison seems to respect that though, despite the odds and the facts he admires tenacity

And with that inspiration he leaps from the Labosphere, with a plan to get them to safety - as well as tanking the laser damage

Godspeed little fella, sorry for hoping you were a fraud at the beginning because of your namesake

Back with Luffy and their escape has been halted by Shai Halud

Ju Peter is using suction to try and bring them back in so Luffy stuffs a building in his mouth

But that's it again for Gear Fifth as he goes saggy, fortunately the Giants have food called Hákarl

Fermented Shark Meat, but it'll do, it was said to be reserve rations

Warcury's on the charge next, but is hit by a Red Roc

Luffy's hand aches from the impact though, so Warcury is very durable or has the Rough Skin ability like a Garchomp

Oh no...Saturn has climbed to the Labosphere with Nami, Robin, Brook, Lilith and Usopp

And V. Nusjuro has blocked the path ominously between Bonney, Atlas and Franky

Mars finds a transponder snail with a minute of time remaining too, it all looks dire

It looks dire, but something tells me there's a switch coming.

Saturn will likely be confronted by the returning Zoro and Jinbe, though I'd like to see Usopp, Nami and Brook put up a fight. V. Nusjuro will likely be a Sanji opponent methinks, though he's built to be a Zoro opponent I think the alternation makes sense there. Either way due to immortality the Straw Hats can't win, there has to be a secondary clutch action in order to trigger an escape, the Iron Giant is one thing probably on the ground level but perhaps whatever Edison plans is a second?

It was good to see Robin and Stussy again, and the latter actually doing something even though I'm 90% certain Lucci's gonna jump her at the worst moment. I still hope for a Kaku face turn again but we'll see, him being moved likely means the other CP agents and Seraphim could've been moved too, spared from the wreckage. Also proud that Franky one-shotted a vice admiral because yes, that should be how a Yonko crewmember would deal with it!

As for the transponder, I don't think that's where Punk put it, it's a feint, an inconspicuous decoy that will undercut the Gorosei's believed victory in the moment, pride comes before the fall after all and the narcissism on these dicks is outstanding.

Interestingly I don't know any other lingering factors that can come in clutch, unless the Grand Fleet are gonna pop out; Doll and Bluegrass are still circling the island so something will likely happen there, the Seraphim are at the mercy of the chain of command, so it's getting to the make or break part of the arc before the grand escape.

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noodyl-blasstal · 8 months

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We Got Boned!

I got brainworms from @taakosleftshoe's post this morning and now we're here!

Lup's upset about Lord Artemis Sterling paying his way into a permit to acquire some human remains he definitely shouldn't be using as a jigsaw puzzle in his stupid rich people museum. But it's okay, they're gonna write a book about it.

Read below or on Ao3

"I've been thinking."

"About the bones?"

"About the bones."

"I don't like it…" There's a pause. "The bones that is, not the thinking."

Lup appreciates that Barry doesn't ask the usual questions the, "is this because of the… you know?" Followed by a vague gesture which she guesses is supposed to somehow encapsulate the 9 and a bit years spent cradled in her own corpse's hands as the meat sack she lived in decayed.

"I think we can do something about it."

Barry sets his book down. "I'm listening."

"We're writing a book."

"Oooh, that ticks off some of the research requirements at work too."

"See, chagirl's not just the hottest elf you ever met."

"No, you're also the smartest and the bravest and the kindest…" He says it with such fondness, eyes crinkling at the sides, the lines by his mouth falling into place as he smiles. She's glad she got to add to those laugh lines before they gave up on the whole ageing schtick.

"Damn straight."

"...and the second best chef."

Barry's ducking even as she swings herself round to grab a cushion to throw.

"So, we're writing a book." He says evenly as the first pillow bonks off his back.

"About bones." Lup says cheerfully as she flings the next one.

"In general?" Barry asks as it baps harmlessly into his unguarded ear.

"About being bones."

"Oh. Oh that's good!" Barry looks up just in time to get a face full of the squishy fire patterned pillow.

Lup decides that’s enough violence. “It is, right?”

“An autoethnography of bones. No one’s done it before.”

“They sure haven’t."

“Have you got a name?”

“Not yet, I thought maybe you might have a sugg…” Lup’s not even done by

“We got boned!” Barry’s positively gleeful.

“Taako’s going to hate it. It’s perfect.”

–

"I love the way you wove your narrative in with Hodge's theory." Barry looks so proud, she fizzes from the inside out. She found someone who’d read what she wrote, who’d appreciate it.

"Thanks! This chapter about the rituals of death juxtaposed with the time I carved your leg bone is brilliant." She loved reading Barry’s work, he always found interesting ways to guide the reader to conclusions so naturally they’d believe they thought of it.

"You're only saying that because carving a ring out of your dead husband's thigh bone is, and I quote, “fucking rad” and you're glad people are going to know about it."

Lup admires the ring on her finger. "It's also very well written. Stuff can be two things."

"Stuff can be two things." Barry nods in agreement.

Lup reaches out to touch her hand to his.

It was fun to research together again. There were opportunities at the university, sure, but this was different. This was late nights and ad hoc meals, it was falling asleep on the sofa nose in a book, mussed up Barry waking her gently and leading her to bed so they didn't wake up with bad backs. It was exciting, being on the edge of discovery again, being part of the science of it. They lived it, maybe it could make a difference. And if not, the heist would.

Shit! The heist.

"Hey Bear. Did I ever mention why I wanted to write this?"

"Education of the masses?"

"Sure. Yeah. That. But also…"

"Lup?" Barry's doing the fake frowny face, if she waits too long he'll start laughing.

"There might be a teeeeensy heist."

Barry raises his eyebrows and blinks slowly at her.

"Just a little one, honest."

Barry waits, because he's glorious, he's perfect, he's always game for good reasons crime.

"I'm in."

"You don't have questions?"

"Not really." Barry looks thoughtfully down at her, hand still idly stroking her back. "I assume you have the how and I already know the why."

"It’s just a tiny backwards Indiana Jones."

"We're gonna steal the artefacts out of the museum."

"We're save the life-challenged people from the basement."

Barry snorts at that one, exactly like she hoped he would.

"So the book was for the book launch?" Barry asks. Smart man, excellent man.

"Where else would we hold it?"

"Can't think of a better location.” Barry says, nodding.

"Taako's doing the artefact levitation, Magnus is muscle, Merle’s on healing duty, and Krav's there to ensure they're actually gentle."

"You thought of everything." Barry says, and kisses her fondly on the cheek.

–

"So, I forgot about the security." Lup announces to the table.

"Mmhm." Says Kravitz, lips already pulled tight in disapproval. "Have you considered maybe not doing a crime and writing to ask them to release the remains instead? Maybe a petitio…"

Taako drowns him out with a loud raspberry. "You're embarrassing me, Bones. If you don't wanna come it's fine, just means Magnus and I can be faster with the dead dude jigsaws." Taako winks at Lup as Kravitz's eyes widen in alarm.

"No wait, crime's good, I love crime actually. I just forgot."

"Is it even really a crime if he was only allowed to exhume the bodies from the black glass because he bought the permit for it?" Barry asks.

"Yes." Says Kravitz too fast, then winces in pain as Taako definitely kicks him in the shin. "But, er, actuall… oh fuck it. You know what, yes, it's a crime, but I think the Raven queen will approve of this one."

"I'm also slightly concerned about the legality, Dr Lup."

"Who brought the baby?" Taako rolls his eyes.

"Why you did, Sir, remember, I live at your house, you drove Mr Kravitz and I here, you made me the bag of car snacks, remember?"

"It's our house, Agnes, we've talked about this, and we also talked about being cool." Taako hisses.

Lup snorts loudly. "You don't have to be involved, Angus, it's okay."

"Thank you very much Dr Lup, but I think that I might be able to help with the security. There's only two of them, I went to check yesterday, and I think they'd both find a distressed little boy very difficult to cope with."

"The perfect role for Merle!" Magnus says brightly. "He's the right height."

"I thought I might do it, Sir." Says Angus before Merle can reply. "I have…" Angus starts to sniffle. "I have been so looking… forward to a… a chance to act… you see… but if you think Merle would… be a better choice..." Tears leak down his cheeks and he looks so utterly forlorn that Lup's halfway to scooping him into a hug when he smiles. "Acting! See! I'm perfect for the role."

"And the moral conundrum you were wrestling with mere seconds ago?" Kravitz cocks an eyebrow.

"I just thought it'd be funny if Mr Taako thought he was living with two squares, Sir." Angus smiles brightly enough to get away with it.

"So if I'm not the kid, what am I doing?" Merle asks.

"You're our medic. Anyone gets knocked down, you make sure they get up again." Lup replies.

"They're never gonna keep us down." Deadpans Lucretia.

There’s a booming “HA!” from Magnus in recognition.

"Davenport, do you need anything?" Lup already knows the answer. Davenport's already prepared, Davenport was ready for this heist before Artemis Sterling took the bones for his stupid rich person museum.

"No thank you, Lup. I have the plans, the van, and the magnetic signs are ready to go. I thought a cat salon would work well."

Perfect.

"What do we do with them once we've got them?" Lucretia asks.

Lup's got this covered. "Where would they least expect?"

"Back in the basement!" Magnus yells immediately.

"Nope."

"My greenhouse!"

Taako grimaces at the thought. "We don't know if they were over 18, there's no way they're allowed to spend time in the cesspit of sin."

Angus thrusts his hand into the air, bouncing in his seat. Lup cannot believe they raised such a nerd. He's perfect.

"Ango?"

"Where they came from, Dr Lup." He grins, proud of himself. She's proud too.

"Right! What idiot's gonna steal something and put it back where it came from?"

"These idiots!" They chant in unison.

–

The thing about being one of the saviours of the universe and having your lives pumped into everyone’s heads is that no one can dispute it when you write a book about what it’s like to die. They know about every single time already. The falling, The Sword Cupboard Incident, the going-out-in-a-blaze-of-glory, the stabbed in the back and trapped for a decade. No publisher was going to say no, especially not when they realised it wasn’t a hinky memoir - there was no point in that. Everyone already knew. What they didn’t know though, was how to be science, but Lup and Barry? They breathed it.

It turns out that when you’re the saviours of the universe it’s easy to pick where you launch your book, you’re fighting the offers off. When you’re the saviours of the universe you can even get a guided tour in advance, you can bring 5 of your closest friends, and the world’s greatest detective, and no one questions it. Lord Artemis Sterling will give you the tour himself, let you know exactly how little he thinks of the people he stole, reinforce exactly why you’re definitely not planning on stealing any of his collection - cross your heart and hope to die.

When you’re the saviours of the universe no one can tell you that you can’t wear big stompy boots with a cocktail dress for your book launch, or that a denim suit isn’t “fitting” for the occasion. Lup has checked thoroughly, actually, and it’s fitting Barry very well if she does say so herself.

When you’re the saviours of the universe people who don’t give a shit about your book will show up for the launch just to put a sight on you. Just to say they saw the lover and one of the twins, they’ll hope to see the others. They won’t, of course. Apart from Lucreita. The lonely press release writer, noting down the events of the evening for posterity.

When you’re the saviours of the universe, you can get away with a lot.

–

The sound of metal pinging against ‘the nice glassware’ sets Lup’s teeth on edge. Being adored is great and all, but couldn’t it be quieter?

Chants of “speech!” chorus around the room, so she and Barry nod at each other, he pulls the cards they prepared from his inside pocket, and they walk slowly to the podium. Angus smiles beautifically up at her as she passes, this is his cue, she already knows he’s going to shine.

“HELLO NEVERWINTER! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?” Lup yells into the mic, covering the wailing sound of Angus’ performance beginning as the door swings shut behind him. The audience looks at one another, there’s a single cough.

“I said, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?” Lup repeats, revelling in the sea of horrified faces in front of her. She throws in a high kick, you know, just because. It’s important to keep all eyes on them and a boring speech is not going to cut it.

“Yes!” Lucretia shouts from a distant corner of the crowd.

“I suppose we could?” Someone else says.

“Great, that’s the kind of energy we love and were hoping for.” Barry says, adopting his very best patient teacher smile.

A small “woo!” comes from somewhere in the mass of people.

“Maybe we’re ready for just the rocking no rolling, Lup?”

“Well, we can certainly show you a medium good time this evening.” Lup smiles and nods at the smattering of polite laughter. The crowd seems slightly relieved she’s turned the energy down, more fool them.

“Have any of you ever been bones?” Barry asks the crowd.

“Yes!” Lup snorts loudly at Lucretia’s interjection.

“How was it?” Lup asks.

“Bad!” Lucretia shouts back. “I was dead.”

“You sure were! And did that mean you wanted just anyone to take your bones and do all sorts of bullshit with them?”

“No!” Lucretia replies, giving Lup an encouraging thumbs up.

“No.” Repeats Barry, solemnly. “And that’s how Lup and I feel too. Every bone, you see, has a story.”

“So when we got boned, it was hard.” Lup says.

“Really hard.” Barry adds, trying very hard to keep his face straight.

Lup notices his mouth twitching and decides to go for broke. “There’s no need to boast Barold.” She whispers, nudging him. He turns a delightful shade of pink. “But what felt best…” Lup says, talking into the mic again. “... was when I was treated with respect. There’s nothing like your own brother stealing your stuff and cheesing it to make you feel like an object, not a person, even though it definitely wasn’t his fault because he couldn’t remember you.”

There’s a loud “Ha!” From a man in the front row, the person next to him elbows him hard in the ribs.

“No no, go ahead, that’s a good one, honestly. Just wait until we get to the bit where I made this.” Lup holds up her hand to show off her shiny white ring and grins wide. There’s a groan from a woman on the left. Lup hopes there’s at least one terrible first date happening here tonight.

“Bones, by their very nature, were part of a living breathing being.” Barry starts to work from the cards. He’s right, of course, they probably shouldn’t stray too far from the plan, shouldn’t front load too many of the anecdotes. “But once flesh leaves bone, we often forget the humanity of them. We don’t look at a person any more, we look at an object. An object to be taken, studied, stored, or displayed. We don’t often consider who they might have been, which grave markers we have taken them from, or whether there are families missing them.” Barry takes a moment to look out across the crowd. “When is it okay to take a body?” He asks no one and everyone all at once.

They wait.

Someone always cracks, eventually the heat of the silence will get to them and they’ll popcorn their way into an answer. It never fails in class.

Lup nods encouragingly, makes eye contact with anyone stupid enough to look up in this moment.

“After a thousand years.” Someone shouts up.

“Yes, so the historical argument is a good one. What’s the point in the militia looking at a skeleton from thousands of years ago? Why shouldn’t the remains become an artefact, each bone catalogued and recorded.”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll ask another question, what makes a person?”

There’s a longer silence.

“Who are you?” Lup asks. She loves it when people have to think about this. It’s rare they consider what the stuff of them is, beyond a name or a place or a purpose, the context of their lives.

“Lucretia!” Shouts Lucretia.

“You sure are. And who’s she? Is she books and journals and learning?” Barry asks.

“Fuck off Barry, I learned to fight! I made a second moon!”

“You did.” He says, voice softer for a moment. “But how would we demonstrate that in a museum?” He looks patiently around the room again.

“An information board?”

“What would we put on the information board?” Lup asks the room, they’re getting bolder and she’s delighting in it.

“The stuff about the moons.”

“And?”

“Her name!”; “The fighting stuff!”; “Journals on display.”

“All good suggestions, but how much of that context can we give? And how do we get it from some bones?”

“Research ‘em.” Lucretia’s beaming. Lup needs to bring her to more conferences to heckle.

“Research them!” Barry agrees, happily. “We wrote this book for multiple reasons, we wanted to share our experience because it’s important to encourage learning, but we also wanted to help people think differently.”

Angus sneaks back into the door, flaps his hands in a complex circle motion and purses his lips. Lup assumes he’s doing the bird call he practised earlier, thankfully him arriving back is all the signal she needs.

“Anyway, the main thing we want you to remember is that skeletons are people too. Thank you bye!”

Lup drops the mic.

Barry, many years deep in his conference circuits with Lup, reaches out to catch it before it fully leaves her hand. “Thank you for your time, please remember to buy your copy of “We Got Boned!: an autoethnography of death, respect, and being rad litches who can’t die.” Have a lovely evening and enjoy the canapes.”

Lup’s glad she didn’t knock the softness out of him, glad that the years apart didn’t take it either. She hopes people do buy the book, that people do care. But most of all she hopes that the people below them are currently speeding to freedom in the back of a ‘cat shampoo’ wagon.

Angus sniffles and grabs her leg. She bends to comfort him. “The mongoose have left the nest, Dr Lup, I repeat, the mongoose have left the nest.”

“The otters have built the dam?”

“Pardon?” Angus looks up at her his adorable little face scrunched up with confusion.

“Just messing with you Ango.”

“Oh. I… I knew that. Good one, Dr Lup.”

She winks at him, then scoops him up onto her hip - the next part of the plan was flawless, no one could argue with kid tears. “You ready?”

“I was born ready.” Angus replies, tears already welling in his eyes. “I was so… scared.” He wails. “I thought… I’d… never… see you… again.” The sobs are coming thick and fast.

“Oh no, don’t worry little man, you’re back now, but what have I told you about wandering off?”

“That I shouldn’t do it.” Angus says through his tears. “I’m going to be in so much trouble with Mr Taako and Mr Kravitz.”

“It’s okay, pumpkin, we don’t have to tell them.”

“I already did, I messaged them on my stone and they said I have to come home right away?”

“Right now, Angus?”

“Right now. I have to go home right now.” He wails loudly.

“Oh dear, well let’s go find Barry, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Angus is shaking against her shoulder and Lup has no idea if it’s with laughter or the best fake-tear education Taako could give.

“Oh no, what’s wrong Angus?” Barry’s face is lined with concern as they approach him.

“I have… to… go… home.” Angus snuffles out between sobs. Lup tries to mop at his face, but soon realises he’s already soaked his hanky through. Incredible.

“Do you have a…?” She waves Angus’ handkerchief at Barry.

“Of course, oh dear, poor thing.” Barry hands over his denim pocket square. “I’m so sorry everyone, this was a fascinating discussion, but you can’t argue with that face, it seems like we’ll have to be off.”

“Surely you don’t both have to go?” A tall man with a well waxed moustache asks.

“I… miss my Grandpaaaaaaaaa.” Angus wails.

“Oh buddy, I’m so sorry. What can we do to help?” Barry asks.

“I’ll never be… able to see him… again because he’s… dead…” Angus is definitely reaching now, but thankfully everyone looks alarmed enough by the invocation of a dead grandfather that they’re not going to question it. “... but I’d like to… go home.” The sobs are thick and fast now.

“Oh Angus, of course we’ll take you home.” Lup pets his hand lovingly. “Won’t we Bear?”

Barry nods.

There’s grumblings around the circle, but no one is willing to outright tell a crying child no, especially not when Angus sobs even harder and reaches for Barry. If he’s not careful the kid’s going to give himself a nose bleed and Taako’s never going to forgive her if Angus gets hurt on her watch. Barry grimaces apologetically and takes Angus from Lup, who simply shrugs the universal ‘what can we do?’ at the group.

“Angus, you’re a genius.” Lup whispers to him as soon as they’re safely bundled in their coats and waiting outside for Barry to bring the car.

“Thank you very much Dr Lup, I thought my performance was excellent. You should have seen the guards.” He whispers back.

Lup dabs at his dry eyes with a fresh handkerchief from her pocket, just in case anyone’s watching.

–

“There’s pizza.” Taako waves his hand lazily in the direction of the kitchen. He’s strewn across Kravitz’s lap feeding him bites of cookie.

“Did you cater the heist?” Barry asks, as if he hasn’t been part of this family for years, as if he hasn’t heisted with them before.

“What are we, animals?” Lup and Taako ask together.

“Yeah, okay, I walked into that one.”

“So we’re all good?” Lup asks the room.

“We were so respectful.” Magnus shouts, appearing from the kitchen, mouth half full of pizza.

Lup glances to Kravitz, he nods subtly. That’s good enough for her.

“Everyone stashed safely?”

“I organised some plant cover to be extra safe.” Merle lounges on a beanbag there’s no way he’s getting out of without help.

“Organised or organ-ised?” Barry asks. “Wait, actually, no, I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me.”

“Too late, let me tell you about the dwarves and the ivy.” Merle crooks a finger and smiles his dirtiest old man smile.

“Pizza you say, Taako? In the kitchen?” Lup grabs Barry’s arm and pulls him out of danger.

“Thank you.” He squeezes her hand.

“No no, thank you.” She replies.

Lup hops up onto the counter, grabs a pizza slice with one hand and uses the other to pull Barry closer.

“We did it!”

“We did it.”

He kisses her, she kisses him right back. It’s only illegal if someone catches them.

“None of that on my ship.” Davenport shouts from the hallway.

Lup rolls her eyes and kisses him one more time anyway.

–

Lup huffs and throws the paper down.

“Still nothing?” Asks Barry.

“Still nothing. They didn’t even notice.” She doesn’t mean to take it personally, it’s good really. The longer that it takes for them to realise the bones are gone, the less likely it is to be linked to their event, but still, still. He cared enough to steal 12 year dead bodies from their graves, surely he wanted them for more than just the prestige? Infamy? Lup didn’t really know what the term was. Maybe he was just rich and bored and fancied trying his hand at archaeology. Either way, he hasn’t worked it out yet.

They’ve been scouring the paper for weeks, asking Krav to ask Sloane to ask Hurley if there’s anything rumbling, but there’s no word that Artemis has noticed the much emptier basement of his “museum.”

“Did I tell you that Lucretia found another family?” Lup asks.

“You did!” Despite hearing the news before, Barry sounds just as excited as she does. The relief has been palpable every time they’ve facilitated a reunion. Questions answered, a family able to care for their loved one in the proper way.

“I saw you matched another few sets of bones too.”

“Yeah, he jumbled them down there, hadn’t preserved them properly either, but I’ve been working on it. I’ve been talking to them while I work, it’s nice when they help out, makes it easier too. I’m glad they approve.”

“Who wouldn’t want you pouring over their bones? Handsome nerd paying endless attention to my body? Sign me up!”

“You can have that any time you’d like.” Barry says. He winks, corny enough to unbalance the smoothness of his words.

She loved him endlessly. Perfect, wonderful man.

#Bone! Heist!#The Adventure Zone #TAZ Fic #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup Tacco #Lup #Noodyl Writes

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morallyinept · 7 months

Text

HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE! 🖤

How has your week been, lovelies?

My week started off with a touch of a cold, but thankfully hasn't developed into the flu or anything. One of the things I really can't stand most, is that feeling of being all bunged up in your face - bleurgh. Just no thank you ✋🏻

Otherwise, it's been all systems go as usual on the Jett plane. ✈️ Busy with work, busy with friends and busy with writing! 🥵

So Jack, let's crack that whip n' get into this week's whip round, sugar. Yeehaw!

Catch up on last week here, sugar.

☆ Things I've posted this week

Five Days - Chapter 3 - We're starting to get into the meat of this Joel Miller story a bit now and I'm so thankful for all of you that read, re-blog and leave comments on this. I am so glad you're all enjoying it!

Polynesian Kiss - One Shot - My first time writing for Max Phillips which was super fun! 🩸

Ring Toss - One Shot - Donuts & Frankie? Always a tasty treat. Inspired by the awesome & lovely @secretelephanttattoo and her Doughnut Debauchery Marcus Pike Fic. 🍩

Clickbait - Joel Miller GIFLET. I went over 500 words on this one, and I'm not sorry.

Cuts Like Glass - Dave York GIFLET. I'm considering expanding on this one... got a few ideas brewing in the ol' noggin for Dave. 😏

Ezra Ask - My lovely @sweetenerobert was putting ideas into my head first thing on Monday morning, and this quick drabble was the result. 🥵

Lazy Sunday Frankie Vibes HCs - This pic of Pedro from the La Vanguardia shoot, got me thinking some hot Frankie thots... 🔥

I also had some spicy Frankie thots on this awesome post by @rebel-held too. 🖤 Frankie Friday messed me up this week! 🫠

This week's Self-Care with Dieter & Jett focused on Sexual Expression & Repression. And we had World Mental Health Day on Tuesday. 🌍🧠❤️

Phew! It's been a busy week! 🥵

☆ Things I'm currently working on

• Editing the final draft of my Halloween fic to drop on Oct 31st. I'm excited for this one!

• Working on some more GIFLETS as always.

• A fair few one shot drafts that I've always got brewing. Have finished editing a Marcus Pike one shot that I'll probably post next week.

☆ Things I've read this week

My Favourite Fic Recs List hasn't been updated yet this week yet as I've been busy with other things, however all these stories below, and more, will added next week. 👇🏻

A few fics that stood out in particular that I read this week were:

Mystery Strain - @rebel-held I really enjoyed this alternative take on a sex pollen troupe from Rebel's Kinktober prompts, and may now also have a thing for Dieter's big, soft belly after reading this. 🤭

For You I Would Ruin Myself - @thelightsandtheroses Sticking with Dieter, this was a great emotionally charged story, and I love how Dieter was written in this. As much as I love reading smut (who doesn't?), I also really love stories where you are pulled into the inner workings of a character's emotions and thoughts, and sex isn't the main plot point, and this story really impressed me by doing that. Deffo recommend. 👍🏻

Behind Closed Doors - @sweetenerobert Where do I even start?! This was just utterly delicious and debauched. I had so much vivid imagery in my head reading this that a cold shower was needed afterwards, let me tell you. This was such a super hot read and I am so here for it! 🥵

Private & Confidential - @sin-djarin Becca has created the start of something truly wonderful here, I just know it. My Agent Pike senses are tingling to see where this story goes. You should totally check it out too. 🖤

50 - @linzels-blog This was a fic I really enjoyed this week, and I highly recommend it if you're looking for non-age gap fics specifically. It was utterly wonderful and features our favourite pilot, Frankie. 😍

In Another Life - @chronically-ghosted This beautiful Frankie story moved me. The way Taylor writes moves me. I am still thinking about this story and will read it over again. I urge you too also. You're really missing out on something utterly spectacular if you don't. 🖤

I Might Kill My Ex - @beskarandblasters This was such a fun, twisted little tale inspired by the song by Sza, about Joel, and I loved every second of this. It was super hot, and I really liked all the twisty turns this took me through. Deffo a must read. ☝🏻

☆ What have I been watching/listening to this week?

🎃 As it's spooky season, I watched a couple of horror films this week.

I rewatched Evil Dead Rise. I am a lover of the original films with Bruce 'The Chin' Campbell, but the remakes are quite good, particularly this one, I thought. I'm partial to a good horror film and it's been a while since I watched one that made me cringe and recoil at the gore. (The cheese grater scene, if you know, you know! 😬🫣)

Also rewatched both Scream and 30 Days Of Night this week too. Classics, IMO. 👍🏻

I'm looking forward to watching Talk To Me when that comes out on streaming too. The trailer looked fab.

Earworms of the week:

I just love Ronnie Radke's version of this Papa Roach original! I imagine it playing to the backdrop of an epic sex scene in a movie or something...

☆ What have I been up to this week?

Aside from the usual humdrum of work, I went on another short hike yesterday. Always good to get out and stretch the ol' legs.

A very good friend of mine cooked me a wonderful meal this week too when I visited them for a catch up. If you feed me, you can guarantee I will absolutely be your friend forever. 😀

As always, thanks to all those who have DM'd and sent Asks. It's so much fun getting to know you all! 🖤

Well, that was pretty much this week all whipped up in a nutshell! I hope you've all had a great week and are enjoying yourself this weekend too.🤘🏻

Stay kind & stay creamy 🖤

🖤

#jett's weekly whip round #agent whiskey #agent whiskey jack daniels #whiskey jack daniels #agent whiskey kingsman #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #jett's pedro boys #jett's writing #jett's giflets #ezra prospect #dieter bravo #joel miller #fic recs #jett's fics recs #jett has spoken #Spotify

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hail-brod · 3 months

Text

A Chance and Beyond (6)

Previous chapter: (Chapter 5)

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Loki x FReader

A/N: Yes, 2 weeks delay. Again. I guess that's gonna be my new sched if it gets too busy.

Listening to a Norwegian folk song made this even fun to write. Man, I love upbeat folk songs. (edit:) Just figured the song's about a man in love with a woman who's betrothed to another man (note at the end of chap). It fits sm for a certain god here ehem ehem—or just in general lmao. The coincidences in life mah man.

(Ok, this is honestly my fav chap.)

Please enjoy and tell me your thoughts! ><

Warning/s: Light angst, drinking, being alcoholic to a viking level, mead, a bit of self deprecation?, mention of missing body part, nothing else probably (please tell me if I missed something!)

WC: 4.4k

Just some Viking activities at the edge of a cliff. Or like they say in Midgard, 'Let's parteyyy. Hit it, Freddie!'. In which you spin around like a record baby, right round, round, round.

When nightfall came, it didn't take long for everyone to start drinking as early as they can.

Instead of the usual drinking horn tankard, metal mugs clinked at each other, along with the merry cheers of wobbly ballads clashing in every chatter. Half an hour in when the sun had set down, there we're already drunk men dancing with their sons and daughters, mothers mingling with their husbands, and people gobbling down roasted meat. And on the center of it all stands the grand lit bonfire that sheltered light to the smiles of every person. You can hear the crackling and bursting flames joining the fun of your kin's roaring laughs, its shadows flickering like a raves' night befitting the dances of the other asgardians.

Just like you remembered when you we're in your early days in Vanaheim and your home-world, bonfire feasts are always a celebration never to be missed.

It almost feels like you've never truly left Asgard...

But of course, what is a night's feast without a pleasant conversation? Because when you sprung your eyes at a certain young prince being entertained by a woman offering him a mead—with a smile that you're consequently aware is intended to be suggestive, you've never felt so pleasant in your whole life.

No, you we're not glaring at the ground. No, you we're not burning a stare at the said woman. No, you we're not sulking on your wooden seat.

No, not at all.

You decided to just let yourself drown in the company of your mead, gulping it for ten straight seconds. That should do it, you think. not enough to do me in though. And in all honesty, you think of the truth. You we're never the first one to fall in in a drunken state; for as much as the people underestimate you at these things, they always lose when they challenge you so.

Maybe it runs in the family since, well, they we're almost as tolerant as you do.

But you honestly wish right now that you weren't.

You can see Loki giving out a pleasant laugh at the woman, mead weighing down on his hand as he mentioned something to her, making her shrug tentatively in a coy manner. You also soon noticed a few women eyeing Loki, both in hesitation and....desire?

Wait, what?

"Oh, mine brother! Finally, a flock of women ogling at him rather than me." Thor's voice pulls you out of your brief bewilderment as he made himself comfortable beside you. "You see, I knew he'd gain recognition amongst our people after that final battle in Asgard. I'm very proud I've proven him right, hah!"

Oh. "That's...good." you comment, trying not to let your displeasure lace out. "Does your people hate him, before all of this?"

"Hate, you say?" he says, eyes shifting to a light grimness. "My brother is many things and thus he makes many...'decisions'. Very various different ones. I wouldn't want to tell you that he was hated but, he had proven to our people that he should be. Alas, he has change their minds." he lifts up his mug over the form of his brother, who's now talking to a different woman, but you do notice his attention is placed on the singing men near the bonfire.

He has indeed.

Though, you let yourself deviate to something else now that you remembered. Some things are left to be asked later, such as, the voice in your room—well, if you ever find the chance, that is. Or if you'd even open up the courage to.

"Did...Did Loki actually vouch for me after the interrogation?" you asked.

Thor widened his eyes followed by a nervous laugh. "W-Whatever do you mean, my lady?"

"It's okay, I'm aware of your little 'spying'."

"Oh." he lets out, eyes darting back and forth between his brother and you. "Well, odd it was, but kind of him I guess. He may act stingy but there's a softness in there, and it seems like he's taken by you."

You raised a brow at that. "I doubt that. He looks rather keen on avoiding me." you say, though, the thought of him being taken by you feels a tad bit nice.

He eyes you in wonder. "Does that irk you?"

"What? Of course not. I'm- merely curious."

"Hmm," he hums, but you can almost mistake it for a scoff. "of course, curious. You know, I never got to ask you if you're somehow well acquainted with my brother in your....universe? Or was it timeline? Either of those."

You freeze, there's a sudden feeling of déjà vu. "What...makes you think that we are?"

"Ah, that my friend, that I can see." he answered. "It may not be my specialty but I can tell if someone is at least taken by someone."

Right, your mind echos. he has a flock of women over him. Your past self is certainly a proof of that.

Well, some things would've been actually different if he had learned your fascination towards him back in your Asgard. Actually, not some but everything. Because if he did, you would never be here. You would have never created that bloody Nexus event. You would have never learned about how much dominance time rules over countless of universes.

"No, because you we're meant to fall for Thor." the imposing judge towering in front of you says after stating your name. "Not his brother, not anyone. The moment you recognized your feelings on the wrong person, god, brother—whatever you call him—is when you're taken out of the equation. Pretty common mistakes of your variants, apparently. Don't force it, miss. It doesn't always end well for both you and..." she reads down on the file and mocked a smile at you. "...the 'Loki Laufeyson.'"

The past TVA made it sure to shove it on your own reality that you we're the problem for falling for the younger prince. Somehow, you're feeling sorry for doing so, for dooming your home. But you also truly don't want to regret it

You won't.

The TVA doesn't have the right to dictate that. Not anymore.

"Are you insinuating that I'm openly swooning over your brother?" you asked, playing along with him.

He laughs. "Bin-gow." you're quite sure its supposed to be 'bingo'. "I've first noticed you we're very tolerant of his antics, which many not do, so I guess I can assume."

"I'm certain I don't swoon when I'm being tolerant."

"Uh-uh. Maybe not, but don't jump just yet, my good lady." he swigs a drink from his mug. "I've never seen someone else so adoringly at eased when at the resoundingly mysterious presence of Loki other than me and- "

He stops.

You can't deny the growing fluster emanating within you when you catch his first few words, but his sudden halt confused you for awhile. His expression fades down, his mirthful smile daring to fall but it fights to keep it up. Though, you somehow feel that you know who he struggles to mention.

"The All-mother." you finish.

He flinched, eyes flying randomly at you and inhales. "Yeah." he sighs out a light chuckle. "You know your thing, my lady."

Your heart cracks.

Seeing him react that way at the subject of his mother, its inevitable to feel dread at what could've possibly happened. Just the absence of his father as the overlooking king is more than a proof of the tragic fates that have doomed Asgard. Queen Frigga was far from a stranger to you and you can proudly say that she became your second mother. Well, if you and Loki we're bound together purely from deeper sentiments, she would have been more of a close mother rather than formally your queen mother.

But you also can't imagine how that would've affected Loki.

You have much to learn in this reality. And, maybe its about time for you to let them know yours.

Even just by bits.

"Yes.... I've actually been quite acquainted with the queen herself." you humbly inform, smile tipping up. "Which I'm very lucky to have been."

"Hold on, so you are well acquainted with Loki. Well, not just him anymore but also the royal family?" he quirks his head to the side. "You're definitely not just a noble. Let me guess, a daughter in court."

You nodded.

At least he knows his princely court lessons.

"Hah! I knew it." he cheers, mug elevated high up. This caught a few eyes from the crowd which was also followed by their own cheers. Some asgardians flew their eyes over to you doing the same as you muster up a pleasant smile, an attempt at matching their jovial attitudes. Your mind wanders back to someone as you try to spot the area where you last saw him. Granted, he was still there, eyes intent on you.

And then immediately looked away with not so much of a reaction.

You certainly have your fill of mesmerizing cerulean eyes all over you today and you can't help but blush. And at the least, he wasn't handsomely giggling anymore with some woman or herds of them.

Beside you, Thor mutters something, and you catch your name. Odd it was how he managed to divert his attention on his own little world so fast."...I've surely heard that name before...where...Asgard...?"

He looks like he's partially drunk, but you know he isn't that easy to bring down. No doubt his random ramblings are just a product of nine or fourteen mugs full of mead; there's much more action than just slurring words when it comes to these gods.

The darkness clocks deeper into the dead of night and you had already downed your third round of mead. Honestly, your usual would be at six or seven before you would start to either cry or be overly social to anyone—of course, you prefer the latter. At this point, all you can feel is the faint pounding of your head and the lightweight of everything.

Feather. you think, describing. Featherful light. How very light.

You decided then and there, this would be the last round. You're very aware that your drunken state is resoundingly unsightly and you don't want that coming to life tonight. Or any night.

So as you downed your mug to the last drop, the distinct sounds of singing started to spread from another man to another. When you looked around, their chants start to gradually get louder, infectious smiles being thrown at anyone as their hands begin to clap along the beats with a bob of their heads. You yourself could not contain the jolliness they emitted as you meekly bounced your head along.

"Han leika med lente, han leika med list,"

This, of course, had awaken the presence beside you.

He jumped on his feet, mug still gripped tightly on his hand as he sang along and his other hand waving around to the tune. Just as the crown prince joined in, this boosted the morale of the other asgardians, adding more people to the high spirited singing. His eyes rest on you and he kept nodding to you, urging you to stand up and do the same.

How could you refuse?

When he had offered you his hand, you took it and stood up, finally letting yourself sing the familiar song.

"Han leika med lente, han leika med gny, Hei fagraste lindelauvi alle"

You clapped and jumped along them and laughed in joy, the pounding of your head replaced with the upbeat tune you clap unto. You also didn't waste a second drifting your eyes to Loki, who was actually gone in his spot.

Had he left? You know he's quite fond of festivities so why...

Only then did you see his form singing and clapping with the said flock of women...and men. You really have to tone your emotions down because he has every right to mingle with anyone. Your own personal feelings on the likeness of him is hardly something you should be bringing about now. Soon enough, your attention gets shifted when Thor took your hand, halting your claps as he leads you near the bonfire. You we're quite baffled, but when you realized a circle of asgardians we're forming around the flame, you know you're going to be very out of breath.

"I hope you aren't too drunk to do this." Thor grins at you, hands free of his mug and secured his hand on yours much fittingly. You feel your other hand being snatched the same way by one of the asgardians beside you as you all form in a wide circle.

"I'm more than awake and sober than you." you replied, grinning back with the anticipation of the dance, your adrenaline gradually going up.

"For de runerne de lyster han å vinne"

Little by little, you all move to your right, letting the circle turn in a loop. Another step and another one, the pace of your steps starts to move faster as you follow the rhythm of the song. The footwork of the certain dance begins to come naturally to you and everyone else, lifting it down and back at the moving steps to the side. One cue in the song indicates a twirl, so you turn and clap, and another clap, and so on.

"Men då steig trolli upp or djupaste sjø,"

You can't seem to think straight anymore as your laughter and giggles along the singing fogs your brain. Then comes a chant, and more clapping, and you don't know anymore.

Everything just started to feel natural.

"Og utvinner krafti av trollenes arm For de runerne de lyster han å vinne"

When the other asgardians outside of the circle started to join and slip inside, dancing; you almost didn't catch Thor leaving your side to enter the circle. And as you still moved along the loop, the said god reemerges from the jolly crowd, feet bouncing, and clutched at his side is his confused brother. It only happened in a second before you realized Thor had just threw his brother on his previous spot beside you, Loki's hand securely gripping your own through the revolving circle of people, not daring to let you trip with his sudden intrusion as he got swarmed into joining the loop.

You couldn't take your eyes off of him, and he couldn't even look away from you. As you we're kept being pulled to your sides, it was evident that he was also enjoying himself. He brings up the widest smirk at you and continues to sing with everyone else.

Oh, you we're not going to back down as well.

You squeezed his hand much more affectionately than you intended to, but fortunately he didn't whack it away; he tugs up a teasingly lofty smile and squeezed back.

You don't even know how to react anymore as you just distinctively felt the pulling of your heartstrings. You couldn't fight the widening smile on your lips any longer.

"Og utvinner krafti av trollenes arm For de runerne de lyster han å vinne"

The adrenaline of moving around and the constant claps to the beat, lungs catching the words to sing and the twirls between the loop of people, have had you all elevate for boldness as the beats starts to rapidly pace up; one step faster than the other and faster it goes, leaving you all lost in the moment of chanting breaths.

"Hei, hei, hei, hei, hei,

Hei!"

It goes higher and higher, constant and louder and as your voices reach the peak of the song, you're sent flying to Loki's side as soon as the circling loop of people broke off, tumbling to their sides with crazed smiles and cheers.

Though, as you tumbled beside Loki, heart ringing with laughters, his grip on your hand never left. You couldn't care much and your vision is clamped shut from all of the movement so you can't make much of anything. You we're panting hard and you know he is too—the very close distance between you has you hearing his pacing breaths. Suddenly, what made you open your eyes and look up to the said man was the dawning realization of why you feel so warmly secured.

Oh, he was holding you close, one hand snaked around your waist.

And don't even forget about how his other hand is pretty much locked with yours, as if letting you go would result in you being snatched away.

As you slowly wake up from your moment of daze, your eyes would not tear away from his own. His rising chest and yours synced like no other, and how dares he study you so intently with those gentle eyes, almost like a plea. The moment felt too long and too mesmerizing to break as your hand slowly curl further on his own, caressing.

Belonging. your heart screams between breaths. The shared look you had had you reminiscing a lot of things, a mixture of lifts and crashes dawning on your emotions. He himself contorts to a frown, taking in your conflicted demeanor—as well as your longing eyes.

I love you. you wanted to say, but you know that's bound to crush you, so you just reveled in the silence. The thought of not being able to say it clenches your heart, and you feel like tearing up.

But you resist. Contain it, woman. you order yourself. He's not even the Loki you know...

"I..." you start, wanting to get away.

But before you could gather yourself up once more, something catches Loki's eyes as he feels over your hand—he looks down confusingly. You realize his attention is directed on your hand once you felt the shift of his fingers on your own, specifically on a certain finger, one that's been severed and adorned with your golden ring.

You we're so out of it all until he breathes out his words, "You're married."

Your eyes snap to him, heart racing. He didn't waste a second catching your surprised stare. You don't know if the look he's giving you is concern or just curiousness. "N-No, I..." you stutter.

You we're not married yet—but will you ever be? Though, it seems like he believes otherwise.

"Don't." he sternly says. "Don't lie. I know that kind of ring anywhere and looking closely on it, it's a royal one."

You feel a lump in your throat as you try to swallow. It's only a matter of seconds before he's wondering which of the two princes in Asgard you we're bound with. "It is...yes. But no, I'm not married." you weakly say, feeling all of the adrenaline rushing out of you. "We never got to..." you hesitantly shrugged, trying to point out your unspoken words. "You could say I was whisked away by the TVA before it could even.... possibly happen."

You don't know what expression he's wearing but Loki seem to have caught on on your change of demeanor as your defeated form melts between his arm. You felt him stiff when he realized he hasn't distanced himself away from you, so he gently pulled his arm from your waist, leaving you to stand on your accord as you felt his other hand slipping away from yours.

Your heart longs even more.

Somehow, he had trusted his instincts once again to detect any lies as he accepted your words. "Would you have wanted that marriage?"

You fold your brows up to him, surveying his expression. But he's wearing that neutral mask again. You linger your words in your head, debating, lest you risk spilling any unnecessary sentiments. I would have love to. You open your mouth yet it closes again.

You can't do it.

"I don't know." you shake your head, letting your eyes wander away towards the mellow atmosphere that has become of your bonfire feast.

"Hmm."

That's all you heard from him before he followed your gaze. You both shared a moment of silence, relishing in in the calmness of the aftermath of the celebration. It felt comforting—somehow.

Each and everyone have settled down on the ground, either sprawled from exhaustion and the mead, or wobbling on their seats, leaning shoulder to shoulder with one another. You don't see Thor anywhere, but when you heard your name slipping out of Loki's lips—which you wish you could hear again—one bulky arm gathers you from behind, pushing you closely next to Loki.

Thor's voice imitates his brother, saying your name.

Honestly, you much prefer the former one saying it.

You realized Thor had also wrapped his brother on his other arm, encapsulating you both in a semihug. "I can't stop thinking how familiar your name is, my lady." he says, both you and Loki stiffing at his pull. But you also felt Loki tensing at his brother's words. "I don't know why. Granted, I've surely never met you before, nor anyone like you. Must have I just forgotten then?" he scrunches his face in thought.

"Given that you are an oaf, there's no doubt your depictions of reality are just nonsense." Loki says, narrowing his eyes on Thor.

"You wound me, brother."

You awkwardly witnessed their banter; though, you can't help but tug up a light smile. "I would be wounded as well if you just bore my name in your mind but not my face."

The God of Thunder chuckled. "My bad, my bad. Although truly, that's no fact. How could I ever not bear a fairly stunning maiden in my mind such as you?"

You we're flattered—though underneath that, you can't help but cringe. You really didn't meant for it to go that way.

And Loki doesn't seem too pleased about it. "Can you not do this in front of me?"

"Do what?" Thor asks.

"Just..." Loki tries to wriggle out of his brother's embrace as he breaks away from the two of you, dusting his shoulder off. He points his brother a glare. "Don't ever bring your flirting in front of me."

"What? I am not flirting. Or maybe, I have barged in on one?" Thor eyes you worryingly and flies it to Loki, cautiously untangling his arm around you.

You we're dumbfounded for a second before it processed in your mind.

"No." you and Loki uttered at the same time, exchanging glances.

"Definitely not."

"Yes, why would we do so?"

"Exactly. Nothing of the sort."

"Alright, alright. Calm down." Thor instructs, amused by your reactions. You we're quite glad he didn't press further. "Although admittedly, your name does ring a bell—and no, I am not drunk. I am rarely drunk." he says to you.

You nod, not doubting him. "But if you say such things about my name, then I guess it's rather possible that...you've probably met a variant of me."

When you think about it, it's weird. It also feels much more awry for you to be here. If there's another you in this universe, then you can certainly feel like you're upholding your self-accusations of being an imposter. You shiver.

"But I've never seen nor recognized you, ever." Thor says.

Even as though it had prickled something in you, you just shrug. "Well, variants don't always look like a duplicate of yourself." you mention, two certain variants come to mind. "In truth, even genders could be altered."

Thor lights up with interest. "My word, that's interesting and it actually makes much more sense."

Loki hasn't said anything. It was quite odd as you noticed he stood rigidly as he listened, hands clamped over in front of him—his stance shielded, almost like he's hiding something.

That's suspicious. you think.

Thor had gone into his mind, trying to recall something, albeit in a forceful manner. He narrowed and glared at a spot before it contorts into a smooth unfolding of realization.

"Actually- "

"Brother, why don't we let the lady tire her exhaustions out for tonight?" Loki cuts him off, letting him deceive you with his composed countenance. "It has been quite the feast."

You tread on his point, concealing your suspicions. "Then, where shall I stay?"

Thor recovers, leaving his unspoken thoughts. "Of course! You can stay on either of our tents tonight," you almost break your neck snapping your eyes on him as he continued. "since I asked not to start on the royal quarters unless our people have gotten their own. So, I hope a tent would suffice?"

"I don't mind a tent but, I would hate to intrude his royal highnesses' abode." you defend, baffled.

You soon noticed even Loki had given his brother an unapproving look. "Hang on, why am I included on that?"

"Oh, come on. Aren't you a prince? Wouldn't hurt to be a gentleman from time to time can it, brother?"

Loki hesitates to speak. "You..."

You try to diffuse. "I'm alright if it's alright for...either of you. Surely, that would also mean I am to sleep separately...?"

"Yes, yes." Thor confirms. "Do not fret, my lady. I will be sleeping somewhere else. Be it a couch or a wooden skiff, I do not mind."

That doesn't make you feel any less guilty for taking a prince's bed.

You we're about to retort but the raven haired god beat you to it. "You are terrible." he mutters, directing it at Thor. He then trails his eyes on you, soft cerulean ones touching your heart. "My tent is open for intrusions. Though, I do not take kindly to people with nosy skittering hands."

"Well, would you look at that." Thor preens. Loki shoots him a stern look.

"O- Of course..." you reply, quite baffled once again. "But, what about you?"

It takes him a while to respond. "You shan't bother knowing." he says, lifting up a feigned smile. "Besides, you won't be staying here long, will you?"

Somehow, you catch his point. And you're once again pierced with the dawning remembrance of your timely task. This will only be a single night of intrusion, nothing to fuss over; you are temporarily existing amongst them. It doesn't matter who you're mending a bond with, you're not supposed to be here.

And it almost sounds like he's intending to shut you out, and that cuts something deeper in you.

"You're right." you agree.

You've been enjoying yourself too much that you forgot you'll be leaving this all behind. Once again, just another memory to be stored in your mind.

You don't belong here.

Song inspired: 'Villeman Og Magnhild' (Villeman And Magnhild)

Previous chapter: (Chapter 5)

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