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yandere-daze · 2 years

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i've been thinking of this scenario idea for a while so i wanted to share it with you, daze! okay, so...imagine the yandere knights darling asking ritsu to run away with them. out of all the knights, he seems like the one who has the most hesitance (? may be a weird word choice but i hope that makes sense) on wanting to share with the others so i think he would be a good character to choose for this idea (though it's okay to choose someone else for this!).

and, maybe before the darling was kidnapped (i'm imagining this as the darling already being captured, but you can change this if you want!), darling used to have (romantic) feelings for ritsu and still holds on to those feelings for him after. or, y'know, maybe darling has a ulterior motive because they know he isn't the most physically trained and thinks they have a better chance of escaping.

anyways, what do you think ritsu's reaction would be to this? or even the knights if they end up finding out? i can imagine ritsu at least thinking about the idea but have been mixed on what he would do next (*﹏*;) i hope you enjoy this little scenario idea of mine and hope it wasn't confusing in any way!

- 🗡️ anon (first day labeling myself as 🗡️ anon instead of just yandere knights anon, feels great lmfao ( ꈍᴗꈍ))

Ah hey there 🗡anon, I´m happy to see you here again! Honestly even as a writer it´s nice to see some familiar faces in my askbox from time to time ^^

As for your idea, I´d love to share some of my own thoughts as well! Don´t worry it wasn´t confusing at all and it was fun to think about! Just adding a picture because I think it looks prettier that way <3

gn reader

tw yandere, prior kidnapping, obsession, possessiveness

Yandere! Knights darling asks Ritsu to run away with them

I think you´re right when you say that Ritsu would probably be the best person to ask to run away with you out of all of the Knights. He´s not very happy with the current arrangement, only agreeing to it in the first place because there was reason for him to think that you might leave them all behind otherwise. He´s very possessive of you and doesn´t like it when the other members of Knights hang around you too much, he would much rather have you only pay attention to him and shower him in affection.

So when you come to him, all quietly, when he´s on his own and propose the idea of running away with him, he´s quite intrigued. Or pleased would be the better word. He´s even more on board with the idea when you tell him you love him dearly and can´t handle another day where you two can´t be together in peace.

“Please Ritsu, let´s run away from the others and start a new life somewhere else”, you beg him with a pleading look on your face. You´re nervous about how he may respond but your worries are quickly alleviated when he holds your face in his hands and presses a kiss on your forehead before answering you in a murmur.

“Hah, we won´t ever be separated again, right? I´ll finally be able to have you all to myself...”

Ritsu would be beyond happy, a soft smile on his face because he finally feels like his ideal future is within his reach: A peaceful life with just the two of you with no one else to bother you and where you only have each other and spend every single second together.

Soon enough, he won´t ever have to get upset when Leo interrupts your cuddling session with his loud voice, or when Tsukasa deems it improper for the both of you to be so close to each other. It will just be you and him.

Of course, actually getting away will be the most difficult part of this. It´s very rare that the two of you are ever alone together because the others just love crowding around you and taking up your precious time but at least that allows Ritsu to come up with a proper plan for your escape. He´s clearly not the fastest runner as he generally lacks the energy for that, so simply trying to make a run for it most likely would not work out. So instead, he needs to use his brain a bit to come up with some sort of distraction that would keep the other knights away for long enough to get away. Ritsu is actually pretty smart so with enough time he will come up with something

Soon enough, a new life will begin and it´s all in your hands what it´s going to be like. Do you still harbor some feelings for Ritsu even after the kidnapping and finding out about just how obsessed he is with you? Or have you long since fallen out of love for him and are instead just trying to use him to get away and then abandon him as well?

Be careful either way, Ritsu is good at reading people, especially his darling, so if you´re planning on abandoning him after you two got away, he´s most likely already aware and is thinking about what to do to keep you with him by force is necessary. So for your own benefit just love him back and allow yourself to be pulled into a blissful dream of adoration and endless affection that you won´t ever wake up from~

I don´t think I even need to mention that the other knights are super upset once they learn of this. Better hope they don´t find out about this in your planning face because the both of you would be punished for even thinking of running away ( though Ritsu would get the worse punishment because they don´t really like seeing you in pain).

If they only find out once you´re already gone, they will do anything in their power to get you back with them. Tsukasa uses all of his connections and the wealth of his family to send search troops all over the country to look for you while the others make posts about you on their social media, telling all of their adoring fans that you´ve gone missing and that they should come straight to them if they have any hints about your possible whereabouts.

Also, you better hope Izumi hasn´t installed a GPS tracker on you just yet, because if he has then there really is no way you´re going to get very far. No matter where you go, he´ll know where you are and they´ll all do absolutely anything to get you back in their arms

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jay-avian · 11 months

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(From Silas to Captain Caspian; for the character pen pals writing game)

Dear Captain Caspian,

Can I call you C.C. for short? You may know me as Silas Nicolá, the renowned cowboy demon of the underworld. Small world, isn't it?

Let me cut to the chase: I have always wanted to know what the life of a pirate is like. I never once got the chance to sail the seas with the wind in my voluminous hair and a salty tear in my eye as I mournfully stare off into the sunset at my beloved who bids me safe voyage, tissue in hand.

Do you get to recreate that one Titanic scene whenever you like? Are you Rose or Jack in this scenario? How many people do you have in your crew? Is it fun to sit up in the cockpit? Do pirates really say “arr”? What’s the most exciting adventure you’ve ever been on? Personally, my most thrilling adventure was using my third eye of truth to figure out the truth of the Glitter Shortage!

I have oh so many questions, but have decided to refrain from asking all of them so that you don’t waste your precious paper writing back to me (I know that trees are a scarce commodity while sailing the seas). Thank you for your time, Captain!

Sincerely,

An Aspiring Pirate,

Silas Nicolá

Hello Silas,

Firstly, you may call me Cas for short if you wish. And I believe I have heard a few things of you. It's a pleasure hearing from you. In regards to your questions...

Though, yes, pirate life is often as grand as it first seems, it's a risky business. Running from the law and coveting treasures can be fun, but you can't be reckless. Lives and freedom are at stake, you mustn't squander it. It can be hard work, too. Sailing the seas requires grit and willpower, especially during a fight or a storm. If you lose your cool for a second, you could lose your life to the waves.

On a happier note, yes, we have in fact recreated the entirety of the Titanic play on board. I played the role of Rose, surprisingly. (Lost a bet, but rather enjoyed myself) We have plenty of free time and often act out plays, host "concerts", and re-enact out adventures.

Depending on the size, sailing a galleon usually requires about 200 people to be run efficiently. I have about 236, including myself and my quartermaster. I assume by "cockpit" you mean the crow's nest. And yes, it can be fun for a time. Watching the crew below is fun. The main job, if you're up there, is to watch for other ships or land. So most of the time, not much excitement, though it is nice to get time to yourself every once in a while. And no, pirates don't really say arrr. Depending on where you're from, we say aye instead of yes and nay instead of no.

Now let's see, my most exciting adventure... Difficult to choose at times, but how about I give you the story of how I got the title Pirate King? I'll condense it for now, but am more than happy to tell more. It was a couple months before the Royal Summer Extravaganza, as the king called it, right on the night of the solstice. Originally, I was going to plan a solo heist myself for the crown. I wanted to humiliate Ol King John too. But then I had the bright idea to let others in on the fun. I invited as many other pirate captains as I could to a fair competition. There was about 11 that could make it, so plenty of rivalry.

The rules were simple: no killing the king or each other, first one back to the Crimson Flame with the crown in hand was the winner. The winner would get a 6 month grace period where they couldn't be fired upon first by others. If two people reached the ship at the same time, they would have a fair duel (again no killing). Winner gets the crown. Long story short, I let everyone else do the hard work, swooped in at the best opportunity, and grappled away to safety. Everyone was upset, of course. Even had a few try to kill me then and there. But in the end, it all worked out.

I believe that was all of your questions answered. Feel free to write back any time with some of your own adventures! I'd love to hear more about where your from.

Cordially, Captain Barrack

(The papers are dyed a light red (not from blood, I swear). On the backs of them is a printed flame symbol)

#this was fun!!#got to infodump a bit #can't wait to see more #writing tag game #writing asks #character pen pals #kraken's bane #writeblr

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romirola · 11 months

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💕💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕💕

@zozo-01, thank you soooooooo much! I am beyond thrilled to have the chance to talk about a fic! I cannot choose a favorite, so I'm going to take the opportunity to talk about a fic of mine that often flies under the radar: Stronger Together.

Due to my inability to shut up, the answer is going under the cut!

The summary of the story is, "An It’s a Wonderful Life AU featuring best beta Asher! After inadvertently embarrassing Milo, letting down David, and deeply upsetting Babe, a dejected Asher feels can do nothing right. He questions his ability to fulfill his role as Beta of the Shaw Pack and even worse, he wonders if Babe might have been better off if they never knew about the magical world. Before Asher has the chance to stew in his misery for long, Morgan appears, offering Asher the chance to see what life without Asher looks like for his loved ones. With the seer’s help, Asher realizes that his existence positively impacts everyone around him more than he could’ve possibly ever imagined."

This is the story where Asher James-Darragh O'Connell was named! I'll never let go of that name! <3

One aspect I really enjoyed about writing this story was imagining the Asher-less realities for the other characters. What was surprising to me was how Asher's absence automatically led to such gruesome existences for everyone. Oddly enough, I didn't have to try hard to think of the "bad" scenarios. It seemed so obvious that, without Asher, Milo would never feel accepted by the pack or that David would crumble under the weight of his alpha role. Babe being tranced and captured by Adam isn't exactly a given, but it feels right, given his penchant for mayhem and Babe's curiosity.

Writing in Asher's POV was a lot of fun, especially since I got to imagine all the characters through his eyes! And, given that at the time, Morgan hadn't been a voiced character, I had total freedom to craft his character. He's kind of a zany off-the-wall dude when he escorts Asher in the new timeline. In fact, I think that's why I'm not a huge fan of canon Morgan, at least so far. He's so chill and soft-spoken, but in my head, Morgan is an exciting, kinda-crazy, boisterous fellow! Christian also is cast in a different light, since he is alternate-David's beta.

There were lots of ways to imagine the worst (and the best!) for the characters, and it is my hope that Stronger Together reads as a love letter to Asher and all he does for everyone in his life.

The framing conflict that starts the story, that is, Asher's and Babe's argument over bridging is a way to get at how difficult I imagine it is for unempowered/empowered couples to communicate and meet each other where they stand. Babe especially seems the type to struggle not knowing, always depending on Asher for explanation, no matter how hard they try to learn about magic. Since this story, I've expanded on the headcanon that Babe likes to research empowered culture, which shows up in a few other fics (and in the one I'm currently writing!)

What'd I miss in my rambling? Got a question about this story I didn't answer? Please let me know and I'll be happy to tell you!

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fanfiction #redacted asher #redacted asher o'connell #redacted morgan #redacted babe #redacted christian #redacted david #redacted davey #david shaw #redacted milo #milo greer #thank you!#que be doo be doo #it's a wonderful life au

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malevolentmango · 9 months

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for the writer meme, all the primes (1 not included)!

hi mis you're an absolute terror (affectionate) cracks knuckles okay let's do this. I'm just gonna go ahead and put this under a read more from the get go, it's gonna be long laksjfd

link to the ask meme!

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I do a secret third thing called "hallucinate wildly about scenarios and then put them in an order that eventually becomes an outline and chapters."

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

see above

But really though, to use wyab as an example, once I had an idea of the direction I wanted the story to go I just broke down the scenes in a way that made sense and tried to keep a sort of overarching theme for each chapter. Which is why those chapters ended up so long. >.>

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

Only from people I trust <3

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

I choose the one that I think would make the fic more interesting! Like, wyab would not have worked if it was primarily Goro's POV, even though his perspective on certain scenes would've been really cool. Though now that I'm thinking about it, I do tend to favor Akira...

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Been working my way through MistressEast's After Hours at Leblanc series for the past week or so (I'm a slow reader alskjdf), it's fantastic!

Also obsessed with @honeysweetcorvidae's NG+ AU and a certain someone's rebel AU. :3c

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

In high school one of my AP English teachers told me the word "that" is often unnecessary in a lot of the places people use it and can drag down the flow of your writing and ever since I've been culling it from my sentences unless it's actually necessary. There were at least two places in that one sentence where I tried to use it!!

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Cry. Do something else. Pretend my writing never existed.

Serious answer: Music helps me focus a lot! I either have a full playlist for each writing project, or a handful of songs that work for me for things like oneshots. Reading through what I've already written or my notes can also help because it reminds me why I was excited about the thing in the first place (this is a double-edged sword - sometimes it's just frustrating alksjf).

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Top 3 for funsies. You might say I'm predictable.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

Oh I should not be giving anyone advice. Uh. I think my favorite bit of advice in general is that you should absolutely say fuck the rules when it comes to grammar, but you do have to know what the rules are first. Break them in a way that's impactful.

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

I have trained and worked as an editor, so I can be kind of ruthless with myself sometimes. I do at least one pass where I just pick every line apart and make it sound as good as possible, but I try to limit myself to just one of those, maybe two if it's a scene I'm really into/worried about. I'm also guilty of editing as I write, but I've gotten better at quelling that over the years!

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

I guess technically the characters because a lot of my stuff is very character-centered/driven. The plot often comes from me going "what happens if I put [character(s)] in [situation]?"

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Depends! I try to make it impactful regardless, whether that's a cliffhanger or just something punchy and meaningful. For wyab, I decided that the last scene of each chapter would be from Goro's POV - like we were checking in on him hehe. I thought it was fun!

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

Generally one-and-done! But I do reread in certain cases, like when I was writing the epilogue for wyab and wanted to make sure I was calling back to earlier parts of the fic correctly. Or when I'm thinking about sequels... >.>

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

I am the embodiment of the "angst with a happy ending" ao3 tag so. both?

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Answered this earlier but I try to leave it at one pass! If I do more than that I tend to start hating my own writing and/or talk myself out of posting it alskjfa

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

idk if it's a perfect split exactly, but I'm definitely both! I think it fluctuates - when I first got into p5, I devoured a large portion of the shuake tag before writing anything at all. And then I got absorbed in my own writing and barely read anything that wasn't friend fics alskjdf

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

At this point all of my friends are also fic writers and/or in fandom lmao. But my family doesn't know, and I simply do not want to explain all that to them.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

Because I love the characters! I want to make them dance for me :3c

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

Both! I like going full indulgence with my own ideas, but prompts are great for challenging myself.

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Again using wyab as an example: The entirety of the fic is in one google doc. Makes it easy to search for things, and to make outlines. Part of the reason I added the p5-esque calendar dates was to keep myself on track, and to indicate that time was passing without having to spell it out every time. Other than that... I tend to stream of consciousness write my notes as they come to me and organize them later.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

oh god uhhhhh. fuck. I guess probably the fact that I try to balance flowery language with overall concise storytelling makes my writing style pretty distinct? And I'm a slut for themes and metaphors, and that definitely comes through too.

#gauntlet complete #that was fun actually thanks mis <3 #ask meme #mango writes things

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wrenqueenisboss · 2 years

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Ummm maybe dialogue, narration, description, and scene-setting/world building?

I’m planning on like creating my own world with all of my ocs cause it seems fun lol

plus all the little stories, adventures, scenarios, etc etc

and i write as well so there’s that ig

ah yes the therapy edits

do a lot do those

-ZT

answering the advice stuff under the cut :)

oooh!! join the club! (we have so many ppl on this blog who are developing lore)

~therapy edits~

NOTE: all the advice below is my personal opinion + what I use in my writing. if you choose a different tactic, that doesn't mean your writing is bad. it simply means that you and I have different strategies

DIALOGE:

-avoid maiden/butler dialogue. (Meaning: avoid characters telling each other things they would already know. For example: A: Do you know what today is? B: Of course! Today is the day the duke visits the estate!)

-every scene should either reinforce or establish a character's motivations. in the final draft, make sure that there isn't any unnecessary dialogue. Every line (+ its dialogue tag) should have a purpose. The lines earn their place on the page!

-make sure that each character has their own way of speaking, and that vocal mannerisms fit with the overall theme of the story/your style of narration. (For example: if your writing style is super prose-y and descriptive, it kind of destroys the mood to have a character show up saying "yo yo yo, wassup!")

NARRATION:

-during your editing, make sure that you're happy with the order in which everything is narrated. it's okay if certain paragraphs have to be rearranged!!

-avoid info dumps! yes, we want to know what's going on in the surrounding scenes/history, but throwing that in our faces to the point where it completely disrupts the flow of the story is extremely offputting

-active voice!!! (unless there is a specific stylistic reason)

DESCRIPTION:

-use metaphors and similes that make sense to the widest audience possible, even the characters themselves! (For example: if you're writing a fantasy story, don't compare something to the brightness of a phone screen; it's inconsistent)

-its preferred if you leave some things up to the readers. don't describe every little muscle tic/thread on fabric if it isn't needed. as much as we love writing, extra words are the readers' enemies.

-vary your descriptions. (I struggle with this one a bit) Meaning, if you notice that you tend to revert to describing a character's eye motions in terms of facial reactions, try describing how they fidget instead! it adds depth to your characters and your writing

SCENE-SETTING:

-only give the most basic information in the beginning. let the scene itself slowly reveal the other details. otherwise, it's difficult to get into the action

-follow the description tips above as well

WORLD-BUILDING:

-sad truth: not every little detail that you've spent hours researching, and dozens of events on a complex timeline will be able to fit into your story

-too much world-building detail can swallow up your plot. use the plot as a way to reveal different details of your world/use your world to enrich where your plot takes place

-if you want to develop full binders of lore (like I have) feel free to and have fun doing so! but understand that in the natural flow of a story, not every little detail will have a home in your manuscript and that's totally okay

hopefully that helps!!! <3/p

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heirtotheempire · 7 months

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If you had to choose your top 3 favourite star wars characters, who would they be and why

If you have a headcanon about each favie, include that too!!

Ohhhhh this is a loaded question that's going to have to have a long answer (I am long winded).

I can say pretty easily that the two characters I think about the most are Thrawn and Ezra. Sometimes as separate characters, sometimes both of them and exploring their dynamic (I love considering what happens post-Rebels even though those thoughts are now squarely 'non-canon' but I can ignore certain... shows).

Probably my favorite scenario (headcanon?) for their dynamic is where Thrawn plays alongside Ezra's insecurities and desire to help others in order to get him to join the Imperial cause. Promises that with order, Ezra can protect the people he loves. Very much a bad end of sorts.

An actual separate headcanon for each of them though..... I like to think that Thrawn CANNOT COOK whatsoever. He was fed in Ascendancy and Imperial schools via a cafeteria, the military has ration bars and most likely cafeterias as well. Higher ranked officers likely had access to a kitchen but could also get others to cook for them. He appreciates the art of cooking and other cultures' cuisines, but good lord he should not be trusted with anything that isn't the most basic survival cooking. A bit goofy, but if I delved into the more serious thoughts about this guy then it'd probably kickstart some discourse 😅 I am quite opinionated on this awful guy (something that becomes pretty apparent when looking at my blog lol).

As for Ezra, I like the idea that he collects more than just Imperial helmets. Armor and uniforms interest him as well, but are often more difficult to get since they are more 'attached' to troopers and officers than helmets are lol. He probably gets himself into incredibly dangerous situations attempting to retrieve this sort of stuff, especially pre-Ghost crew. A young teen with not a lot to live for and little to no guidance? Of course he's going to do terrible things.

Alas that is only two characters... To be honest, giving a third character that is consistently a favorite is difficult. All these characters have a lot of potential and are fun in their own ways, even if canon doesn't use them all that efficiently. At the current moment though, I'm suuuper interested in Governor Pryce. She is so delightfully awful and I find her rise to power (and moral downfall) absolutely fascinating. I headcanon that she is pretty darn technologically fluent, but is self-taught so she uses completely different vocabulary then the rest of the Empire. As consequence, she doesn't understand a lot of what people say when it comes to tech, even if she understands the processes themselves. She probably initially wanted to learn about tech so badly so she could get dirt on people easily lol.

#i could talk forevar. about characters #sorry this is so long #i have a feeling this was spurred by the art exchange so i tried to be descriptive #but me being descriptive means 10 pages of nonsense #i also love kanan and thalias and ar'alani and zeb and tarkin and and and ohhughg #i think i love the situations and possible reactions more then the characters themselves #if i wanna see a specific scenario play out then ill pick characters and play with them like dolls to see who fits the situation

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romanekov · 11 months

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What I knew saved me, sort of. Knowledge is power. It’s true. As soon as he was gone I wanted to get high. I felt, I feel so lonely in this city. I don’t have a sense of community and I have so much social anxiety. This is the reason why I want to get high. I used to tell myself so many lies. That I was doomed, that I was borderline, depressed and worse. I used to say “Im fucked up because of my childhood”, I used to think that depression was a disease. Now I have all this awareness about what I need to stop these so called mental illnesses. My heart is full with this relationship, with my pets, where I decided to go with my professional life. So I feel so much better than before. Im less broke and less broken. But I still miss having friends. I don’t know how to exist without being useful. I guess you can’t really be lovable without being useful to some degree. But my worthiness shouldn’t be depending only on what I can contribute to. I should just be existing and be fine with it. I guess I must give anxiety to people because I don’t know what to do, or say. Everyday I have to choose to be fine. It’s definitely hard when it doesn’t come naturally to you. It’s so weird to chose to be fine instead of waking up fine. I’m so sensitive to caffeine that a little bit of macha gets me extremely happy and excited. When it wears off it’s no fun.

When it comes to you I have the most difficult time going with the flow. I’ve been wondering for a long time now if your problem were more psychological than physiological. I would hope so, even though those are connected. But it’s not like I can make you meditate. All I can do is provide the safest place for you. I fucked up in the past and I carry all this guilt around when look at your big green eyes. You know it’s a vicious circle. It’s hard no to react to each and every crises you have. Im scared to lose you and you don’t understand that, not fully.

Sometimes it scares me to think how sensitive I am. I wonder if I would lose my mind, how much, how much more, if something really bad happene? The more I learn about the mind and the body, the more power I realise I have and I wish I could still play the victim, let myself, my mind go. But I am so much stronger than I thought. I think that’s what surprises me the most right now. I am not the smartest, but I am smarter than I thought. And it’s hard to realise all my believes about myself are wrong. That I have this flame inside of me and that nothing would destroy me the way I thought it would. In the past I use to lay down on my couch and get high on codeine to numb the pain. And then somehow, I would get up again. It got worse, then better. Now it never gets that bad anymore.

I have a few rules I should establish for myself :

1- Never think that what you’re feeling at night is true. I tend to stress out so much at night. My anxiety and distorted sense of reality gets the absolute best of me.

2- You too often want to make your narrative the reality. Every time you meet someone, that a change occurs, that something is even slightly off, your mind goes to the worst case scenario. And you know what ? The worst case scenario might as well happen. It’s called life. You decide if it’s gonna get the best of you.

3- Your pain comes from the fact that you don’t even analyse your negative feelings. You just complain and try to distract yourself or pretend you are fine. Well, guess what. YOU ARE NOT FINE. Not always. Everybody has bad days. That’s how it’s supposed to work. You want to get better ? Start by letting the bad feelings existing and analysing them. Bad days are normal. Normalise them.

4- You carry the burden of wanting to be there for everyone. Well, first it’s a distortion of your job. You can’t be the wise woman at all time. The saviour, the psychologist, the coach. You don’t have all the answers even though I might add you pretty much figured life out. I mean, Im not 100% sure because I haven’t been through the hardest time of my life yet, but I think by now I get a good portion of the meaning of life right.

5- Society makes people, especially women feel like getting old sucks. We live in a patriarchal and capitalist society that makes everyone feel like they are never doing enough or never having enough. Well, enough of that bullshit. I mean when I think about how miserable I was when I was younger, going shopping every week-end, caring so much about my appearance... I still care a lot about my appearance though but that’s also my job at the moment. + I never really liked my face but there is always room for improvement.

6- You always want to control people around you and hypothetic future. It’s just absolutely fucking ridiculous how you’re giving everyone anxiety by caring too much. Don’t get me wrong, you’re allowed to love people around you with your whole heart. But again... there is a difference between loving someone and being constantly scared of losing someone. And always making sure that people know they’re loved is not having to touch them and cross their boundaries all the time. Because you’re just trying to analyse their reaction to you in order to notice any subtile change that would make think they reject you. You’re trying to reinsure yourself, not them. Loving someone is not worrying about losing them all the time. It’s about existing side by side, interacting when necessary, detaching your identity from them. Not completely of course. Just finding a balance.

7- Find more time to get bored. Find more time away from your phone. Less time playing guitar or drawing or accomplishing anything in hope that other will like the result. It totally kills your creativity. You just annoyed because you never gonna be a freaking superstar. Why do you want to be a superstar, the best of the best at everything ? Why is life an endless competition ? Im tired of pretending winning fulfils me. I am running after an endless desire of being needed, admired instead of being loved. I’m running after dopamine and always wondering what’s next. Enough of that shit. You don’t need to be the best, you need to try your best.

8- Let go. Just fucking let go. Every single time you’re circling over and over again around a negative feeling, it’s because you don’t analyse it so you can’t let go of it. You don’t let go because you chose to look at what you can’t control. And also because you’re afraid that if you let go, it means it wasn’t meaningful. Because you’re scared of being empty deep down. It would confirm all too well what your shitty childhood made you feel like you deserved. Every freaking time you actually let go, it feels so much lighter on your shoulder. You are allowed to fall and go back on your horses, then fall again. It’s called the healing process. Better practice that on small things of the ordinary before you have to let go of something bigger. Letting go is awesome. Go with the flow.

I always knew it was about balance. From a very young, even as fucked up as I was, I always knew I wanted balance. Not happiness. Just a sense of safety in every situation. The idea that yeah, I can handle it. That the narrative of me being sensitive didn’t mean I was fragile. I am not fragile. I experience higher, more intense feeling. It doesn’t mean I can’t go back to a safe baseline once these strong feelings made their time inside me. And just knowing that should make them less intense already.

9.... you’re safe. You made it. Life is beautiful and ugly. Happy and tragic. When I think about all the absolutely horrifying situation I used to put myself through even when I moved to Canada, all of this mess, I realise how different I am now. Because I live with myself everyday I don’t really have a clear awareness of how much I changed, but I did. People around me did to. For the worst or the better. We always change. It hurts me to see people I care about not changing in the right direction, like my sister. But I can’t really do anything about it except telling them Im there for them. That I love them.

xx Romane to Romane

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huntergreys · 2 years

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Best strategic war games for pc

#Best strategic war games for pc series#

Damage to regiments carries over from one part of the scenario to the next, and the story of the battle adapts like a branching choose-your-own-adventure based on how well you capture and hold objectives. It’s a lot of fun in multiplayer, but the campaign is particularly impressive. Ultimate General: GettysburgĪ readable, easy-to-control, tactically nuanced Civil War RTS, Ultimate General takes into account terrain, line of sight, and unit condition in ways that deepen the gameplay without ever becoming cumbersome to understand and work with. The freeform paving, zoning, and districting brushes grant fine control over the look and function of each block of your city, and like any truly great city-builder, it’s enjoyable both as a hands-off ant farm type experience and as a nitty-gritty urban planning puzzle. Colossal Order saw the void left by Maxis’ latest shot at the title and created a more open-ended, full-featured city builder that looks gorgeous with its tilt-shifted camera and offers lots of tools to optimize a traffic grid, underground rail line, or sewage disposal system. SimCity is one of the original titans of strategy, and Skylines is hands down the best rendition of the core idea it set out with today. The multiplayer de-emphasized some of the insane micro that made old school StarCraft special, instead focusing on strong economic “macro” play, scouting, and unit compositions, but it’s still a blast to play - and watch! It’s not the top dog on Twitch these days, but esports gaining traction outside South Korea owes a lot to Wings of Liberty, Heart of the Swarm, and Legacy of the Void. While ultimately divisive among fans of the original, Blizzard’s space RTS sequel and its two expansions feature some of the most high production value storytelling and entertaining, creatively-designed campaign missions in any RTS. Get your hotkeys and your End Turn button ready.

#Best strategic war games for pc series#

An effort was also made not to include too many games from the same series or developer, so you can consider, for example, the Total War entries selected to speak to the position the series has as a whole in strategy gaming, even though it wasn’t possible to include all of the greatest hits. While some consideration was given to historical importance, the main factor was how enticing each game would be to pick up and play irresponsibly into the wee hours of the morning, right here and now. This list also favors games that still hold up and are fun to play today over those that are considered definitive, innovative, or trend-setting. Effort was taken to include a variety of subgenres of strategy as well, even though those can sometimes be difficult to compare to one another. As Sid Meier would say, these games present a series of interesting choices that can lead you to defeat or triumph. In terms of classification, this list contains games in which strategy is the primary concern - or at least one of a handful of primary concerns. After much consideration, they’ve been narrowed down to the best of the best. Even if we’re just limiting ourselves to the digital variety, there are dozens and dozens of RTSes, 4Xes, wargames, and grand strategy paragons worthy of high praise. What are the best strategy games? It’s a daunting question to answer, with the genre spanning back almost as long as humans have been playing games.

#Best strategic war games for pc

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dnddiary · 2 years

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Puzzles. Puzzles! PUZZLES!!!?!

This one's a long one so I'm putting it under a read more after the first one.

I've compiled five examples of puzzles/environmental obstacles that I use in my dungeons that I haven't seen used elsewhere.

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Immovable Rod ladder

This puzzle fits better at lower levels since higher level abilities/spells can easily circumvent the set-up.

What it looks like:

Your players enter a room with high, cathedral-esque ceilings that is empty except for a dais in the center and an exit carved high up into the far wall. The exit has no stairs or means of reaching it and how high it is placed in the wall can increase or decrease the difficulty of this puzzle.

On the dais in the center of the room is a small iron rod with a button/lever on one end. Hidden somewhere in the room is an identical rod (my preference is for under the dais, but hidden compartments in the wall would work too).

The puzzle:

Allow your players to enter the room and look around to their hearts content. The first step would be for them to identify the rod on the dais. Choose your favored method of identification. RAW requires an identify spell or taking a short rest while holding the item. For "famous" magical items I'll usually allow a Knowledge (Arcana) roll and I'm always open to good ol' experimentation.

What they have is an Immovable Rod

This is an item that, when it's switch/button is toggled on, becomes fixed in place and can only be moved slightly with a DC 30 strength check or by applying 8000 lbs of pressure.

For some classes having this one rod would be enough to get them to the elevated exit with some creative thinking. If the door is low enough a mage hand spell could lift the rod with a rope attached, flip the switch (I'd allow mage hand to do this because the activation is simple and mechanical unlike activating other magical items), and allow characters to climb up with an athletics check. Likewise a familiar with hands or dexterous enough appendages could do the same. A druid would also be able to wild shape into a spider to reach the door. These are just a few of the direct examples and I'm a fan of puzzles with multiple solutions.

Now the hidden second rod would be for parties who either don't have classes who can perform these actions or don't have those actions as part of their skill set. For those scenarios a sufficient perception/investigation roll combo could reveal the hiding spot, with a Strength ability check for uncovering it.

Once they have the second rod they can be used to create a sort of ladder, activating/deactivating them as the player climbs through thin air to reach their destination.

Once your players solve the puzzle you just need to figure out what to do with the rods. One immovable rod, in a creative player's hands can be a lot of trouble for a DM while two can be sort of game breaking. I'd recommend treating them as temporary items that either turn to ash or become inert when removed from the room/upon completion of the dungeon, but if you want to give them one of the rods as a reward its a very fun piece of equipment as a player.

When to use:

This is better served in an early game. Once players have easier access to flying speeds or gear that might make it easier for them to scale the wall this puzzle becomes mostly useless. Additionally this puzzle will be more difficult for a party that is lacking a druid or a wizard.

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Magic Rocks

What it looks like:

Over the course of a dungeon have your players encounter spheres of crystal, large enough to fit in the palm of your hand. They can choose to take them or leave them, it's entirely up to them, but at the end of the dungeon is a massive door with sphere-shaped sockets set into it. Seems obvious, no? There's more to this than first appearances.

The puzzle:

Short answer is that your party needs to funnel magic, burning a single spell slot, into each of the spheres they find before placing them in the sockets.

How many spheres they need is up to the DM and how much of a resource drain you want this to be. I stick with four using the old Avatar style elements motif. This also lets me add color coded clues for the sphere's locations and purpose.

First step for your party is identifying the sphere and figuring out that it absorbs magic. I recommend an arcana check somewhere between 10 and 13 DC which yields a hint like this:

"You recognize the stone as a type of amber, but one that was cultivated in a Wizard's laboratory specifically to trap etheric energy. The stone feels light, hollow, and empty."

Once they figure out that they need to fill the spheres with one of their spells the next step is to have them place the spheres in the correct slots on the door before it will open.

When to use:

This puzzle, of course, requires a party with spellcasting abilities, preferably from more than one party member.

In my opinion the best puzzles will have an element of resource management to them, so that the party has to figure out how to proceed without draining all their resources. To avoid shenanigans with short/long rests this puzzle works better in a dungeon that includes some sense of urgency, i.e. the party is chasing a person of interest or attempting to stop some sort of ritual and the door is barring their way. If this isn't enough to deter them from attempting multiple rests and you don't want to make this easy, throw in a threat of ambush and have them find out that the crystals will only remain charged for around 4 hours before the magic disipates.

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Ursula's grotto

I actually had the pleasure of play-testing this one with a group. They found it to be a bit too easy so I've upped the difficulty a bit.

What it looks like:

The party comes across a flooded passageway that they must swim through. I recommend making this 10-feet wide/tall by about 30-feet long. This would mean a character without a swim speed can clear the channel in two rounds because swimming halves their movement speed, while a swim speed character can usually clear it in one. Either way, very low chance of drowning.

Along the floor of the passage is a thick bed of kelp. Roll for a DC 10 perception check and if any of your players pass it they see glints of metal and gold through the kelp bed.

If you're feeling generous tell them they spot decomposing remains too.

The puzzle:

Be prepared to keep track of time on this one because a big aspect is how long your players are spending underwater.

This is another opportunity cost for your players because as soon as they get close enough to investigate the promise of loot they find out the kelp bed has a persistent Entangle enchantment on it. Getting near enough to the passage floor results in the kelp grasping the player and requiring a Strength saving throw to break free. This difficulty should reflect the level of your players.

If a party doesn't think the loot is worth trying for then this one kinda fizzles. The "puzzle" aspect of this comes from them trying to figure out how to get the shinies without getting drowned.

I reward creative thinking for this one because theres a lot of room for interpretation but some of the ideas I like are below:

A bard, druid, or ranger can cast speak with plants as this spell specifically counters the Entangle spell.

Any spell that can freeze something solid or reduce speed can make the kelp easier to avoid.

Mage hand to pick up all the loot and bring it to the players (I'd rule that a familiar would also be grabbed by the kelp, though)

Shape water to either restrain the kelp or pull the loot up with a strong current

Just straight hacking at it with weapons though I'd make your players roll a Dexterity saving throw after each swing to represent them avoiding the kelp at the same time.

When to use:

This one is a lot of fun when flexing yours and your player's creativity so it's most rewarding with a group that thinks outside the box. Just remember to brush up on the rules for holding your breath because the threat of drowning is what makes this more of a puzzle and less a random encounter.

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Lava Drop Loot Haul

What it looks like:

Like I said, I think good puzzles are meant to exhaust your players, make them use some of their resources, and make sure they don't reach whatever big bad you have planned feeling fresh as a daisy.

As another opportunity cost puzzle this one is a simple setup. Your players enter a room with a pool of magma taking up a large portion of the room. Above the magma, suspended by a net, is a tantalizing collection of goodies. Maybe it was put there by some goblins trying to protect their stash, maybe the big bad is trying to get them to do something stupid. Either way your party has to decide if they want to spend the time, energy, and resources to retrieve the goods

The puzzle:

Not much going on here, you just have to decide how your players are going to get the loot down. I would recommend placing the net high enough that cantrips can't reach it and making your players have to spend some damn spell slots. Some possible solutions I've come up with are:

The fly spell

The spider climb spell

The find familiar spell (pact of chain warlock will have the easiest time here)

The telekinetic feat (if you have the ceiling low enough)

A druid wild shaping into a giant spider

Some combination of daring/stupid antics involving athletics checks, dumb luck, and the potential for some burn treatment

Again, points for originality, so try to say yes to your players as much as possible.

When to use:

Honestly this is just meant as a way to wear your party down as an alternative to combat. Your party's spells and abilities are resources and you should be creatively convincing them to be used for things other than 🌟murder✨. How valuable or useful you want the loot to be should play into your campaign type and your party's level.

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Puzzle Door (shameless Skyward Sword Steal)

What it looks like:

Well it looks like another door puzzle....I never claimed to be creative.

Your party comes up to a door with a complex locking mechanism. However it looks like a vital piece of the mechanism is damaged or missing. Without it the door will not open.

The puzzle:

Your party has to decide how they want to repair/replace this mechanism. With an Artificer in the party this one will make them feel ultra useful, but there's several other potential solutions for players if they're using other classes:

Use a perception roll to spot any junk or bits and pieces around the room that could be used to make a replacement, followed by an Intelligence check to try and figure out how to use it.

Shape water cantrip to create an ice copy of the piece.

Mending cantrip to repair any damage

Prestidigitation to create a copy of the missing piece, followed by a Dexterity roll to see if they're quick enough to use it before it disappears

When to use:

This one is fun for breaking up some monotony and to keep your party from progressing through a dungeon too fast. It's nonspecific enough that it can fit in all kinds of settings and I like keeping the outline for this one generic because, with a little tweaking, this one can potentially be recycled between dungeons. Just try not to reuse it too often, or you'll be accused of working for Capcom.

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That's the long and short of it. I haven't been DMing for too terribly long so please let me know if you see any blatant/glaring errors.

If anyone thinks of ways to refine these or make them more devious I always love feedback.

Happy Gaming

#dungeon puzzles #5th edition #dungeon design #homebrew #puzzles #dnd 5th edition #dungeons and dragons

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obae-me · 4 years

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Tail Wagging Wing Flapping Fun

This idea is thanks to @astaroth1357 ! It’s a short guide on how to influence their demon forms to do something...embarrassingly cute. I write this fluff with no regrets. Enjoy.

Sure, it might be a bit disconcerting at first getting used to the sight of humanoid creatures having unusual things like horns and wings and tails (oh my), but it comes with a benefit. While their words and demeanor might suggest otherwise, their demon forms might involuntarily reveal some of their hidden feelings--or not so hidden feelings. Your new mission, should you choose to accept it, is to figure out what sort of scenario sets off these uncontrollable actions. Let’s get some tails wagging and wings flapping, shall we?

Note: Difficulty ranges from 7 being the most difficult and 1 being the easiest.

Extra Note: Seems the brothers happened to come across this guide, hopefully they didn’t mess with it...

Lucifer

Difficulty: (7/7)

Hands down, this man is the hardest one to get a reaction out of seeing as he is always aware of how he is perceived, probably due to that prideful nature of his. Not to mention, he’s only ever in his demon form on rare occasions such as parties or political events. Or, most often, if he needs to use it for intimidation, and you’d rather not get a good look at his wings when he’s ready to obliterate someone or yourself for that matter. So, it goes without saying that this might take some planning or some timely good luck. Perhaps begging if you’re not above it.

When to do it: Your best chance of success is to catch him when he’s either distracted, so sleep deprived he can’t even see straight, or just flat out drunk. If you choose the first option, chances are, once he’s back in his own head he’ll recall the event and make a mental note to never do it again. With the second, he’ll be at the point where he can no longer care as long as he can get his work done, but then there’s the more likely scenario where he’ll decide to kick you out entirely so he can focus. Lastly, if he’s drunk, not only will this be super effective, but he’ll cuddle you all night long. He might not even remember every embarrassing thing he did the following morning--which never happens, just for everyone’s information. Even in an intoxicated state, he’s in complete control with no embarrassing moments to speak of--Anyway, this is your best choice, but even then he only gets really drunk when he’s with Diavolo, not to mention refraining from coming home until the late...very late hours of the night when he knows no one will be awake to watch him stumble to his room. So, you’ll have to be diligent. Maybe take a nap.

How to do it: You might think it would be praise, him being Pride and all, but Lucifer knows after so many years that words can often be hollow. Compliments and sugar-coated phrases are mostly used as a means of manipulation or getting something in return. Don’t get him wrong, he does like them, might even give you a slight smile and a pleased hum if you tell him how stunning he is, but he will know you probably expect something in exchange. So, for him, the best way to get his wings aflutter is to do something for him. Actions speak much louder than words and are much more precious to him, especially if you do so unprovoked. Make him some tea! Bring him food in bed! Dust his record collection! Sweep the floor in his study! The list can go on, it’s all up to you to decide what to do, but make sure he knows it's for him. He likes to be pampered--I mean, served.

What happens: It will take him a moment to register. He’s not used to someone doing something for him so freely before. As a punishment, sure, but of your own volition? You did look expecting, no matter how hard you tried to hide it, but the only thing you were anticipating was his happiness and reaction, nothing else. The wings against his back have no choice but to twitch and shift, and he notices you eyeing them each time they move. As they fluttered, you beamed, and all he could do was roll his shoulders to try and keep the infernal things tucked against his back. The more you smiled, the more they were restless, feathers falling from their place as they twitched with emotion, threatening to wrap around you, to shield you, to envelop you, all like he was a hen protecting a baby chick. Depending on how weakened he is, or how much he cares for you, he might do more than just some shifting wings. He does his best to control himself, he really does, but the joy and warmth flooding his body from all his affection for you can make him do the unthinkable. His entire body will shutter, shaking and rattling him like a wet dog. His wings will jut out from his back, quivering in the air. When all is said and done, the black feathers coating his wings are extremely puffed up, a stunned and embarrassed expression hidden behind his new unruly and disheveled countenance.

Mammon

Difficulty: (1/7)

If Lucifer is the hardest, Mammon rolls in as the easiest to get a reaction from. He’s very expressive in everything he does, and his demon form doesn’t change that. If it’s not gambling, he has no desire to keep himself under control, and he’s very much an ‘actions now, thinking later’ type of demon. In fact, when you’re around it nearly ends up worsening, he ends up being so flustered and distracted he’s usually unaware of the things he does or says, which gets him in a lot of trouble. However, because of this, it’s so easy to get him to do all the cute things you want.

When to do it: Honestly, it does not matter. The only things required are himself and you in the same place, and the two of you are already basically attached at the hip. Truth be told, you don’t even need to be near him to get him sheepish, but that’s a secret he tries to keep to himself. You two could be alone in your bedroom, out for a walk in the garden, in Diavolo’s castle, even in the back parking lot of a cheap run-down restaurant. It is not important to him. As long as he has you, anywhere is a party. Public? Private? No matter. Either way his brothers will find out and tease him about it. Getting him in demon form isn’t an issue either. He’ll transform at the drop of a hat if you asked him too.

How to do it: Much like Lucifer, the most obvious answer is incorrect. You can buy Mammon all the stuff in the world, but his Greed will still want more. Besides, that’s all anyone expects him to enjoy anyway. Everyone thinks just giving him money or gifts will make everything better, but he’s more complex than that! Well, it kinda does make him feel happier, but--oi, that’s not the point, we’re supposed to be gettin’ deep here!--What will really make him melt for you is compliments. This demon loves to be praised, because it doesn’t happen often. Why? Cus he’ll get a big head about it, but that’s Lucifer’s problem, not yours. Tell him how proud you are of him. Let him know how handsome he looks. Assure him you know he’s smart, and how much you look up to him. Tell him how grateful you are that he’s your ‘first’. It’ll get to him instantly and fuel his self esteem for weeks.

What happens: The skin stretched over his wings will contract, causing his wings to fold into themselves only to burst open again. It’s this strange sort of flapping motion that reminds you of an umbrella opening and closing. Mammon won’t even notice, not until you gush over it. After that, he’ll be so flustered by his involuntary movements that he’ll try to chase his own wings, circling around on his feet while cursing. He’ll do his best to keep them hidden from you behind his back, but you can still hear the fluttering. Pretending like he didn’t hear you, he’ll attempt to get you to repeat what you said. This is your chance to take things to the second stage. If you bombard him with enough sweet words, he’ll have no choice but to bounce from foot to foot, shifting the weight on his feet as joy floods his body. The wings attached to his back will then waggle up and down, waving themselves in the air. You’ll be permitted to watch this for a while before realization dawns on him and he goes back to manhandling his blasted demon form. At one point he managed to grab one of them with his mouth and growled even. You have it on video.

Levi

Difficulty: (2/7)

The second easiest. Just above Mammon in difficulty due to the fact that he’s in his room all the time and does his best to get himself out of humiliating situations. However, he’s truly an open book, and an emotional one at that, which is why he and Mammon tend to butt heads so often. They’re more alike than either of them will ever admit--w-which is not at all! How anyone could--could see similarities between Levi-chan and stupidmammon is ridiculous!--Similar or not, you could simply look in Levi’s direction and he would blush, and so of course when he’s in his demon form, there will be no hiding his emotions there either.

When to do it: It will have to be in his room, it’s his safe space and so he’ll be more open to expressing himself when he’s in his sanctuary. There’s no real way around this. It will have to be a good day, so try to prepare by keeping his meddlesome brothers away. Keep an eye on how much internet they’re all using, and then try to monitor them so they’ll use less, making Levi’s loading times effortless. Let Levi know in advance that you want to hang out, that way he can get his mental state in check! This should be good enough to influence a happy tail-wagging Levi for when he permits you to enter his room.

How to do it: Safety and comfort are the name of the game. Let him do whatever he wants and don’t make fun of him for it. It’s hard for him to be passionate about the things he truly enjoys without his brothers picking it apart or ruining it altogether. Let him speak. Be patient with him as he tries to string together a coherent plot with fragmented statements like “Oh, but there was also when-”, or “Oh, and how could I forget this happened! I’ll need to go back a bit!” If he ever says sorry, assure him there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t necessarily have to be interested in the things he likes, but if you listen to him and let him feel safe enough to be vulnerable, you’ll have him in the palm of your hand.

What happens: It will happen the longer he rambles. His tail will start to slowly sway across the floor, the gentle sheer sound of smooth scales brushing across smooth tile. The more he feels safe around you, the more traction the tail will get, happily snaking back and forth as the glint of light off his scales reflect back on the ceiling. Of course, you can’t help but stare, which he notices. He’ll grab his tail in his arms, preventing it from moving as best as he could while being a mortified mess. Although you can still see the tip of it twitching, rattling, and quivering. If you comfort him in knowing you aren’t there to make fun of him, that you think it’s actually sweet and cute he feels that protected around you, he’ll let his tail drop to the floor. Only because his hands are now being used to cover his blushing face. The pounding in his chest is drowned out by the intense thumping of his tail against the floor. At one point you managed to pet it and could’ve sworn you saw Levi’s tongue dart out of his mouth, but Levi denies it ever happened.

Satan

Difficulty: (6/7)

Right under Lucifer as the second most difficult to provoke a physical reaction from. He’s spent millennia doing his best to keep his wrath under control, so controlling other emotions is even easier for him. Although, he’s second in difficulty only because he doesn’t care as much for appearances as Lucifer does. I mean, if his attire is anything to prove--I mean, of course Satan is the bigger man in this aspect, truly. It’s foolish to be so caught up in how you look to other people. He’s not that vain, so if anything, he’s better than his brother. Your main worry is being able to see these emotions in his demon form. Demon form usually equals violence in Satan’s case. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that.

When to do it: Make sure it’s a day he’s calm, obviously. Ideally, you’ll both be in a quiet place like his room or the library. If you can, make sure it’s a day where there are no distractions and no noise, which in the House of Lamentation unfortunately only comes by once every century. So, if that means paying Mammon to go on a little shopping spree, making Asmo go with him since coincidently he’s run out of his favorite perfume that you totally didn't use for this excuse, informing Beel that there’s a special going on today of his favorite snacks, bribing Belphie to go along since he’s about to get the show of a lifetime, and then ‘accidently’ letting Lucifer know Mammon stole his credit card, well then, that’s what you’re going to have to do to get some peace (sorry Mammon). Just pulling that off alone will get you some extra brownie points with Satan.

How to do it: Be inquisitive! Ask him about anything, and it’s likely he’ll know the answer. In fact, he’s almost amused when you treat it like a game, quizzing him about any obscure and specific topic and seeing what he knows of it. If there happens to be something the two of you are unsure of, he’ll find the book and you’ll both learn together. In return, he’ll have you talk about the human world, about cultures, about topics you’re interested in. Asking questions is your ticket into getting him into demon form as well. If you simply tell him you’re dying to get a closer look at demon features because you’re so fascinated, he’ll be inclined to transform for you. Satan encourages and rewards curiosity. Of course he knows your plan already, but all your efforts just because you were eager to note how his demon form would react? Well, he’s willing to give in just to observe your feedback as well. It’s also worth noting that bringing up Lucifer in the conversation will immediately ruin your plans. Satan wants to feel special, so give him your full attention!

What happens: You had to first coax the tail he so often kept wrapped around his leg to come loose. Once it did, it enjoyed flicking itself back and forth every so often when he was amused, the end curling up and down when you said something particularly enjoyable. They were small simple gestures, but you wondered if you could draw out more. You threw out a sudden ‘psst psst psst’ like one might do to a cat. His tail shot up straight in the air before he glared at you, albeit with a slight smirk. With a new playful expression on his face, his tail whipped back and forth harder, sharper, convincing you that he might pounce were you not careful. Although, he still seems very aware of his movements, which defeated the purpose of the involuntary aspect. So, acting like there was something on his face, you stepped over. You struck by scratching the underside of his chin. His entire tail quivered, trembling, the bony skeleton-like structure of his tail rattled. Pushing you away, he’ll marvel at his own demon form which seemed to have a new mind of its own. It tucked itself between his legs for a few seconds after the initial embarrassment, then continued to shiver and shake anytime he looked at you. This is exactly why he keeps it wrapped around his leg in the first place.

Asmo

Difficulty: (4/7)

Amso is another expressive individual, in fact almost more so than Mammon. However, Asmo is a master of the body, and is absolutely aware of how he moves and acts in front of other people. Every movement he makes is completely intentional, it adds to his charm, to his popularity. Every eye flutter, every finger curl, it’s all purposeful. He can’t accidently slip up in his body language! Who do you think he is? He can’t afford to do anything embarrassing, it’ll ruin his reputation. However if you get him alone--not like that, this is a wholesome guide--he might not have to worry about his image so much.

When to do it: This part isn’t hard, just tell him you want to spend time with him, in private. After thoroughly getting it across to him that, no, it’s not as dirty as he’s making it out to be, he’ll still be happy to squirrel you away for himself. His brothers are running you ragged, they’re such brutes. He’ll make sure to take good care of you...Sometimes you wonder if he can’t control the way his suggestions sound. Perhaps interest him in the idea of a self care day. He’ll be more than happy to paint your nails, style your hair, whatever you feel comfortable doing. You might have to continuously lead him away from the idea of letting him bathe you, but he truly just wants to treat you. However, the more you spend time alone together, the more he acts a bit more like himself. When he’s around you and not in the public eye, he can let himself relax a little, instead of always needing to live up to those social expectations.

How to do it: This is the trickier part. As Asmo is the demon of lust and a certified social media star, he gets compliments daily, several gifts from potential lovers, and all the physical touch he could ever need. At a glance, he gets enough attention than any one person should ever need. However, he secretly craves quality time together, and no not like what you’re thinking--Unless you want it to be, and then he’ll happily oblige~-- He needs time to destress, to wind down, to spend time with someone who doesn’t care if he’s perfect all the time. Make him feel comfortable in his own skin, and I don’t care what he says, because there’s a hidden part of him that isn’t. So sit him down for a movie night, convince him to take off his makeup. Let him relax in his demon form since not only is it truly him, but you’ll need it for your plan. Brush his hair while he tells you about his day. Get him away from social media as best you can so he can “detox”, making sure it’s simply you and him. He doesn’t need Likes to be Asmo, he doesn’t need to be perfect to be worth it.

What happens: He will act like he has no idea what you’re talking about for sure. Imperfections? He doesn’t know them. Truly he’s not so insecure as you think he is? Like Levi? Please...But your words have gotten through to him. The soft actions and...chaste time together that you’ve shown him throw him for a little loop. It’s like aftercare but...all the time with you. His wings can’t quite contract like Lucifer’s or Mammon’s, so they just bob up and down, flapping occasionally which messes up his hair. He looks on in confusion. Since when had he been so focused on you that he forgot how to present himself? It drives him insane, how embarrassing! And of course, the more you convince him he has nothing to be worried about, how it’s actually adorable, the more flustered he gets. You always knew how to compliment with no other motives. Instead of a wagging motion, his wings will move from side to side, hitting against each other. It sounds like light clapping. Asmo hates how his wings move like this, striking against each other when he’s pleased. He’s worked so hard on controlling it, and now he’s doing it in front of you. He’s immediately going to go hide, but it doesn’t prevent you from hearing the adorable sound of tapping.

Beel

Difficulty: (3/7)

The third easiest demon to get those special demon form movements from. He really cares for you, like a lot, and he’s the only one who isn’t afraid to say it and show it. In fact, the only reason why he isn’t ringing up at number one is due to the fact that he’s not overly flustered by his movements, he’s doing them on purpose to show you he cares, which is kinda what you’re going for here. Getting a reaction out of him without him being in full control is going to be a little bit harder, which is why he’s coming after Mammon and Levi. You want to catch him off guard, making him do things he wouldn’t normally do.

When to do it: You don’t have to try to sneak and lie and trick him into doing anything. He’s not worried about a ruined image or anything like that. Just make a day to spend time with Beel, tell him you’re bringing snacks, and tell him it would make you the happiest human in the Devildom to have him be in his demon form. That’s all you have to do, Beel loves your honesty, it lets him know you trust him and in return he trusts you. Super easy.

How to do it: Bringing him food will definitely achieve putting a smile on his face and getting him in a better move, but it won’t bring out the soft side of him, and you want maximum softness. Beel is always taking care of his brothers, being the backup when Lucifer cannot, and just generally doing his best to keep the peace in the family. He’s the big strong bodyguard, the protector. So, to really throw him for a loop, to make him act beside himself, you’re going to protect this boy. Let him feel small even though it’s physically impossible with how large he is, especially in demon form. Let him be weak and vulnerable and safe in your arms even if they’re half the size of Beel’s. Give him snacks, make him sit on the floor and tilt his head back into your lap. You can try to have him sit in your lap-- Just be careful, the last thing he wants is to hurt you, seeing as how you’re so fragile…--He rarely ever drops his guard, so it’s a nice change of pace for him. Plus, he finds it absolutely adorable trying to be his protector, attempting to act three times your size. But he truly appreciates what you’re going for, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel nice to be taken care of for once.

What happens: You’re able to hear the deep buzz of his wings as they flutter against his back. He frowns, immediately causing the noise to halt. He still doesn’t particularly care for these new ones compared to his older ones. However, the pleased look on your face along with glimmering eyes causes a touch of pink to grace his cheeks. Alright, he can’t deny you what you want. So he lets his wings do what they want. They vibrate intensely, a small whirlwind kicking up in your bedroom, the buzz turning into a deep hum. Your eyes go wide, at least until the intense winds almost knock you to your feet. Then the air stops and you’re wrapped up in his arms. You have to squirm out of his arms to prevent him from becoming the shield again. He’ll try to tell you that he’s not cute, so persuade him he is. Sometimes he wishes he had wings like Lucifer’s so he could wrap you up in them, but he supposes his arms will have to suffice. Every so often now, he lets his wings buzz for you, grateful you accept him for who he is. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, he always goes back to being the one protecting you. Although, every so often now he’ll come to you to feel safe.

Belphie

Difficulty: (5/7)

The demon of sloth is far too lazy to even walk most of the time much less moving his tail. A lot of times, when he is in his demon form, it ends up dragging itself across the floor. Not to mention he’s got a nearly indestructible emotion wall built up around him in the form of apathy and a bit of bratiness. Getting him to become so physically and emotionally moved by you to lose control of himself is going to take some work.

When to do it: He’s asleep during the day mostly, so if you attempt to do it during normal hours, you’ll need to have a crazy amount of luck. So, it’s suggested you approach this demon at night, very late at night. So late, you know you’ll have regrets in the morning, or hopefully no regrets if you manage to pull this off. It will have to be past curfew, because if there’s anything Belphie loves more than sleeping, it’s opposing Lucifer. Get him alone where the sky is full of stars and the house is plunged into slumber.

How to do it: Let him feel validated. Of course, there’s a lot of...grey area around him for some things, but in the here and now, just listen to what he has to say. He has seven older siblings, it’s easy for his voice to get lost in the clamor. Maybe if someone had just listened to his woes before taking action, things wouldn’t have gone the way they did. And, he did spend a lot of time alone, where he wasted countless nights hoping someone would just talk to him. So he appreciates how you can sit there, staying quiet--which nearly every one of his dumb brothers seems to be incapable of except his twin--letting him be heard. Who knows, if you feel vulnerable enough to share some of your deeper problems, he’ll find a newfound respect for you. There’s something about being able to relate to someone, to be able to spend hours just going back and forth where each party just makes them feel accepted. Of course, he’ll act like it’s no big deal, that this isn’t special, that this means nothing to him.

What happens: It’s slow, like almost everything about him. But, you can see his tail lift itself up off the ground, the end curling. It likes to slowly sway, the furry end gently dangling back and forth in a soothing motion, like it was being blown by the wind. That’s all you can really get out of him, since anything more would be too much effort. It’s very subtle, but you notice every detail. Like most things about him, it makes you sleepy somehow, the placid rocking motion. It takes a very long time till he realizes what he’s done. Then his tail will hit the ground with a faint thud. If you ignore it long enough, out of the corner of your eye, you’ll watch it drift back and forth against the ground, a barely noticeable pink hue to Belphie’s cheeks. The more you look away, the more it’ll curl around to where you’re sitting, making the demon of sloth blink, attempting to tug his tail back away from you. It’ll crawl back, moving so slowly you can’t notice the changes anymore, but he does, and he can’t tell why it keeps trying to protect you from behind. Oh well. Best to not think about it. Right?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie

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a-dragons-journal · 3 years

Note

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

#probably should've put this under a cut but oh well #otherkin #kin for fun #kinnie #kinning #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous #rani talks A LOT apparently sbfldkngjlksdf #i have a lot of feelings on this #long post

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bktaro · 3 years

Text

seven-three (part 1)

pairing: nanami x f!reader

themes/rating: explicit, 18+, clubs, bars, masquerade parties

tw: (eventual) rough sex, drinking, sex clubs (will be updated when part 2 is released)

wc: 2.5k

ao3 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Nanami Kento had a hardened shell surrounding his personal life. Clocking out at five ‘o’clock on the dot every day, he left little to no room for others to get to know him better— leaving him as an unsolvable mystery amongst the office.

Likewise, you too aimed to clock out at five ‘o’ clock. You preferred routine during the workday, finding comfort in maintaining equilibrium and peace and wanting to do nothing more or nothing less than what was required of you.

Little did you know the two of you shared an interesting weekend hobby.

Your daily routine generally consisted of four simple tasks: waking up, working, eating/drinking and sleeping.

Truthfully, you didn’t mind what others might argue as the mundaneness of life under your routine. You preferred it, simply finding life under a routine like yours leading too little to no troubles. There would be no surprises and no shocks under this routine— you would simply just do what was expected of you, collect a paycheck, and go home, living each workday in a balanced equilibrium of serenity and peace.

However, of course there were inevitable bumps in the path you wanted to be nothing but flat and straightforward. Every once in a while there would be something that came up, disrupting the equilibrium and wreaking havoc into your preferred routine way of life.

Lately, the disruption had a name— Nanami Kento.

—

It wasn’t as if Nanami forced and wedged himself to disrupt your routine. Instead, it was almost as if some higher divine figure was controlling and planning it all, fate landing him like a roadblock in your path.

You wouldn’t classify Nanami as a complete stranger in your life. Yet you wouldn’t say you had any sort of relationship with him other than being work colleagues. You more or less merely just knew of him— the dubbed ‘enigma’ of your office.

Your knowledge of Nanami was limited to the understanding he was a rather timid, quiet and reserved man. Despite his popularity in the office for his handsome looks accompanied by his cool and calm demeanour, he kept to himself for the most part, choosing to opt out of things like office politics, gossip and drama, never attending optional after work events such as dinners or drinks.

In a way, he reminded you much of yourself. Work was strictly just a place to remain polished and professional, not to be mixed with pleasure or fun.

For you, pleasure and fun existed every Saturday night, in an underground yet upscale club tucked away in the heart of the city. Shedding your usual sleek and polished weekday appearance, for an evening every week you indulged yourself in what others may argue to be activities ridden with sin.

On the exterior, the club seemed to be no different than any other nightclub. Bars, booths, dance floors were all present— it was what was behind a certain doorway that made this space different from others.

To promote anonymity, the club required its patrons to wear masquerade masks throughout the entire time in the vicinity, and all attendees had to refer to one another through their aliases, forbidding the exchange of any detailed personal information. The club was exclusive through invitation only and had just one main purpose: engaging in whatever kind of sex you wanted with any other consenting partner(s) for the night— no strings attached, and parting ways before sunrise.

For as long as you began your weekend hobby, you have never encountered the situation you were currently in. The situation should have been considered one of the worst possible outcomes given the scenario— yet a part of you felt enticed, a rush of adrenaline washing over you signified through the increased beating of your heart pounding in your chest.

After all, what could be more dreadful yet alluring than seeing the sexiest man in your office at your weekly sex club?

It wasn’t Nanami’s fault at all you instantly recognized him. His mask, half black and half white parting down the middle concealed his face well enough, leaving openings at only the areas of his mouth and eyes. If you hadn’t studied those features eight hours a day for forty hours a week at the office, you probably wouldn’t have been able to connect the dots that those features belonged to one of your many colleagues.

But you knew it was him. There was no doubt in your mind it wasn’t. He was incredibly easy on the eyes in the office, your eyes darting towards his desk almost by instinct whenever you had the chance. You wouldn’t necessarily say you suppressed any harbouring feelings of romance for him or anything like that, it was more that you would let your mind wonder, wondering how his plush lips would feel, how his clearly toned body looked under his clothes, and even how he tasted.

Yet now that the opportunity to find an answer to all your questions was so close you could quite literally almost taste him, you stood frozen. All you could do was lean against the bar and watch his figure head over to the free bartender beside you momentarily, before shifting gazes and eyeing the familiar man that had accompanied him approach you.

“There she is— the sexiest girl in the whole world.”

Tall, toned, and ridiculously confident yet sexy, a familiar figure waves your way. He had let his name slip to you before in a drunken request to call him ‘Gojo Sensei’ in a previous rendezvous, but you still opted to call him by his alias in the club most other times, Sensei.

He was most notably known to wear a black blindfold wrapped around the upper part of his entire face instead of a mask. A peculiar and uncommon choice to the view of most, yet to the surprise of all not hindering his abilities in the slightest, mentioning previously his senses to his surroundings were extremely sharp and developed as a result of whatever his line of work was. And one night with him was more than enough for you to believe it— Gojo was more than skilled with pleasuring your body despite not even having a clear view of it in front of him.

“You always know how to flatter me, don’t you Sensei?” Your voice comes out more confident than you expect, and you think it’s the aid of the alcohol courage creeping in, or the smooth and soothing voice belonging to Gojo that indirectly pets down your nerves.

He places a hand just on the side of your hip, gently moving past you to call the attention of the bartender with his other free hand. The bartender simply nods his head in acknowledgement, no further explanation required for the regular drink Gojo ordered every weekend. His drink of choice is not a difficult request, merely a glass of ice topped with a swig of patron and is in his hands in no time, focusing his attention back on you.

“You’re a hard one not to flatter. It just comes so easily for my favourite baby girl that always treats me so well.”

“Favourite baby girl, hm?” You raise an eyebrow under your mask, the corner of your lips curving into a small grin. “You don’t have to beat around the bush, Sensei. Just ask and we’ll waste no more time— you know you’re a hard one to say no to for me.”

He lets out a deep chuckle, the whites of his teeth peeking momentarily as a result. The touch of his hand on your hip turns into the gentle tracing of fingertips up the side of your body, sending a small tingle down your spine.

“Such tempting words… and body.” His gaze follows his fingers, tracing the curves of your body with his eyes momentarily before he shuts them close, pulling his hands away and taking a deep breath of composure to shake his imagination off. “But I’m here to ask you, Fairy, for a particular wish tonight instead.”

“A wish?”

You’re intrigued. He’s definitely asked favours or wishes as the fellow club goers would call it when it came to you, going under the name ‘Fairy’ inspired by the pastel-colored wing shaped mask you wore. Yet, they were usually sexual wishes behind closed doors— this was the first time he was requesting something fully clothed.

And you suspect it has something to do with the blond man, joining your party once more with a drink now in hand.

“As you know, I’m quite the selfless man.” He begins, propping his elbow up on the blond man's shoulder. “Tonight, I’m helping a good friend instead. Fairy, this is Seven-Three, and Seven-Three, this is Fairy.”

You hesitate for a split second, questioning your next course of action. You had definitely taken notice of so called Seven-Three’s true identity in no time at all— but has he noticed yours? You feel an instant rush of sudden internal panic at the thought of being exposed, your scandalous weekend hobby tainting and bleeding into your normal, daily life.

However, the panic vanishes almost as quickly as it appeared, Nanami extending his hand out towards you with a tiny smile curved upon his lips.

“Pleasure is mine to finally meet you, Fairy. Sensei had so much to say about you.”

Mimicking his movement, you grab onto his hand with yours, expecting him to shake your hand with his. Instead, he shifts his hands to grip the tips of your fingers, bringing them towards his lips and leaving a soft kiss against your knuckles.

Your eyes widen, briefly frozen in shock at the scene in front of you. By no means was the action itself shocking enough to throw you off guard, it was who was doing the action. You would have never suspected in a lifetime you would see the same Nanami Kento, normally slumped back on his chair with the same nonchalant expression on his face to be behaving the way he was in front of you— confident, flirty and sexy.

But you had no complaints. You were loving this version of him, something riling and bubbling up inside of you the more you got to know of this Nanami.

“Good things, I hope.” You shoot him a small wink when his eyes flicker upwards to meet yours.

“Baby girl, when it comes to you I only have good things to say.” Gojo cuts in, causing Nanami to release your hand and stand back upright. “It’s partially why I’m here to request something specifically from you.”

“And what would that be?”

“You see, my dear friend here has been just so stressed out lately. And as the selfless friend I am, I couldn’t just bear to see my friend suffer like this.”

He brings a finger up to his chin, tapping against it physically expressing his train of thought.

“So, I thought about it long and hard— how could I help my dearest friend out to alleviate some of his troubles? Then boom… the best idea came to me.”

He snaps his fingers in the air, before turning his finger towards you.

“You, sweetheart. The perfect stress relief.”

You can’t help but let out a scoff, forcing yourself to hold back your laughter at his exaggerated explanation.

“Me, huh?”

“Precisely.”

“And this relates to this wish of yours?” You take a sip of the drink in your hand, the flavour sweet yet potent in the taste of alcohol. “What, you boys want to have a threesome or something tonight?”

Gojo lets out a whistle at the thought, and both men feel the constriction in their pants tighten just the slightest at your suggestive words. Gojo makes a mental note to take up your offer next time; he would be a crazy man to let such an opportunity slip through his fingers.

“That’s definitely now one of my life wishes. Rain check on that.” Gojo gives you his notorious cheeky grin, before turning his back towards you and resting his hands on top of Nanami’s shoulder. “I got to get going, but I’ll let this guy explain the rest.”

Gojo leaves the two of you, giving you one last single wave before disappearing into the crowd.

“Aright.” You cross your arms around your chest, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Now enlighten me, will you?”

“Let me ask you a question first.” Nanami gives you a small, impish grin. “What do you think my nickname means?”

His nickname? Truthfully when you heard the words Seven-Three, there was one instant thought that popped up into your head. A certain measurement for a certain body part that would be highly relevant in the current circumstances.

“...your dick size? Seven inches tall and three inches in girth?”

Nanami chuckles, his voice deep and rich ringing throughout your ears despite the loud music of the club behind you. He leans his body forward, trapping your body in between his two arms and your back leaning against the bar.

“Sensei was right, you’re so cute. If that was the reason behind my nickname, then my nickname would be Eleven-Six instead.”

Eleven? Eleven. You gulp, your mouth watering and licking your lips subconsciously at the thought.

“Let me explain for you then, cutie.” Nanami leans closer to your face, a hand sliding down the side of your body until it rests just on the bone at your hip. “It’s simple, really. I do want to ease my stress, but I also have a record that Sensei says you’re the perfect person to help me beat it.”

“You think I am?”

“Well, I won’t of course make you do anything you don’t want to do.” His finger finds its way under your chin, tilting your head upwards to look him directly in the eye. “But if you’re up for it, I think you’d be a great fit in making my wish come true to beat my record.”

“I’ll be the judge of that— let’s hear it.”

He tilts your chin to the side, gaining access to whisper into your ear instead. You shiver at the sensation, both in excitement and nervousness for what he’s about to say next.

“The seven in my name is for the record of how many times I’ve made a woman cum in one night. The three is for the three holes I’ll fill up with cum.”

There’s a lingering silence in the air, now thick between the two of you when he pulls back, staring back at your face to see any sort of expression in reaction to his words. It’s difficult to see with the mask on your face, and for a moment he wonders if perhaps he’s gone too far.

But those worries fly out the window nearly instantly. Nanami breaks into a grin when he sees the corner of your lips perk upward into a toothy, mischievous smirk.

You respected him immensely for still being considerate of your boundaries and asking for your consent, but you also thought it was silly for him to even think there would be a possibility of hesitation when it came to a request coming from someone like him. You truthfully weren’t sure what to expect, but you were quite open to a lot of different things when it came to sex. Frankly, the nastier, rougher, lewder the sex was— you thought the better. And his request to essentially make you cum at least eight times and fill you up was just right up your ally.

But really, what other answer did he expect coming from you whose weekend hobby was a sex club anyway?

“Congratulations, Seven-Three.” Your fingers grasp the hem of his shirt, scrunching the fabric and bringing his body closer to yours. “You’ve met your greatest match, and I’ll do my best to grant you this wish.”

#nanami #nanami jjk #nanami fanfic #nanami x you #nanami reader #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami smut #nanami x y/n

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x0401x · 3 years

Text

Kagerou Poject Reboot: RealSound Interview

Jin x Shirakami Mashirou x Yuumao

Their takes on the changes that each of them has witnessed in the past ten years and the things they have been seeing in the whirlpool that is the VOCALOID scene.

Translation commissioned by the amazing @sodasexual!

Celebrating the tenth anniversary of Kagerou Project, the Re:boot project has commenced. An interview has been carried out to ask about its background and prospects.

The ones we have interviewed are a trio consisting of the author of Kagerou Project and multi-creator Jin, as well as Shirakami Mashirou (bass) and Yuumao (drums/Hitorie), who are also production members of the original music piece and were listed as the performance team of “Children Record (Re:boot)”, which was released the other day as the first part of the Re:boot project.

We had them talk about the true intentions behind “Re:boot”, which means “to restart”, about the recordings where they created the concept of “overcoming the original composition” and about the near future, including the new song, along with the steps they have taken in the past ten years.

The “pain” that comes with creating something unprecedented.

——How did Kagerou Project’s Re:boot project begin?

Jin: Kagerou Project was set into motion back in 2011, so this year is the turning point of ten years since then. In that meantime, there were lots of things I fretted over, but as I discussed with the people around me about whether there was anything I could do, we came up with the idea of “remaking the old compositions”. I thought if that’s what we were going to do, then I wanted to try doing it with the original members of Children Record, so I contacted the two.

——How did each of you feel when Shirakami Mashirou-san and Yuumao-san received the proposal of a remake?

Jin: Regarding Mashirou-san, I was contacting him for the first in a long time. “Let’s go out for a drive,” I told him.

Shirakami: Right, right. We went on a car drive together. Just us seeing each other already felt nostalgic in itself, so we talked like normal about lots of things and were like, “Yeah, it was fun back then”. I felt that “Aah, I’m looking forward to this”.

Jin: While talking to the staff, I honestly felt uneasy about creating something new, even though it was a remake. If I had to use a word to represent these ten years in which I’ve been writing novels and making music for Kagerou Project, it was extremely “painful” to me. So I wanted to talk to Mashirou-san first-thing. On a different occasion, when a staff member asked me, “Have you been keeping in contact with Mashirou-san lately?”, I suggested, “If it’s okay, can I contact him myself?”, and then invited him for the drive. Rather than the request for the remake, I firstly wanted to discuss with him, “I’m planning on doing this thing; what do you think?”

Shirakami: There was one more person taking part in that drive, right?

Jin: That’s right. Since the coronavirus was going on, we went driving in three separate cars, and the third person was INPNE-kun, who made the video of Children Record Re:boot. That was INPINE-kun and Mashirou-san’s first meeting. At that time, INPNE-kun hadn’t started working on the video yet, but thinking back on it now, I’m glad the two of them were introduced to each other that way. It feels like our hearts bound the music and the video together.

——Yuumao-san, what about you?

Yuumao: Jin-kun and I were seeing each other constantly. I had received a request to tackle the recordings of the songs he had been making until now. Amidst that, there was a day when I received a request, amongst other matters, and was scheduled to “record Children Record”. Up to around three days before the recording, I spent my time wondering, “What’s this supposed to be?” (laughs).

——Jin-san, what did you think when choosing Shirakami-san and Yuumao-san, the original duo?

Jin: I only felt that I wanted to do it with these two. I didn’t have any other choice in the first place. I’m awfully fond of the contents that they performed in the original song, and I had no complaints other than towards my own abilities for making musical arrangements.

——You said earlier that “the past ten years were extremely painful”, but what kind of feeling was it?

Jin: The year when I began these activities, 2011, was the time when I was attending a vocational school; the band I was playing with back then disbanded midway, but by sheer coincidence, the older brother of a friend of mine was using VOCALOIDs and he taught me about them, so I really started doing it without any backing. Having played in a band until then, there was a lot of passion and many messages that I wanted to convey inside me, so this project was about me taking them and beginning to paddle off, and one of the aspects of it was that VOCALOID made the things I wanted to do into a reality. But that was a period where it felt like the VOCALOID culture wasn’t yet acknowledged. On top of that, other than the music, Kagerou Project had novels, and a lot of it had no precedents, so I believe there were parts of it that were difficult to understand for people who weren’t already into it. I didn’t know if the path I was going through was right or wrong. But the people around me kept telling me “not to take my foot off the accelerator”. In that sense, I definitely have negative memories of it. I also had the feeling that I was estranged from the music scene.

——Indeed, the music of Kagerou Project is unmistakably rock, and I believe it was something that pierced through Japan’s rock culture, but I think you might have felt that you were not understood by the rock bands of back then.

Jin: That’s right. Surprisingly, the people around me, including creators and those who were in bands, gave off an air of ridicule with a “he’s a faker” kind of nuance to it. I understood the awesomeness of rock bands, so of course, there were times when I’d wonder, “What is it that I’m doing?”. During these ten years, there was a moment halfway when I almost broke down. Due to many primary factors, I might’ve been unable to go on – like, there was a time when I found myself thinking that it was weird to keep it up while I was so at loss. There was also a period where I was unable to create anything for Kagerou Project.

——When did that happen, exactly?

Jin: Rather than breaking down all of a sudden, it’s more like I slowly became unable to create any more. Although I was being criticized on one side, I was also being demanded on another, so I was at a level where I was obligated to write. However, while all sorts of emotions were whirling up, I suddenly thought of something. There was a time when I got closure from that feeling of “not being acknowledged” that I mentioned earlier.

——When was that?

Jin: Around the time when I was making the previous album (“Mekakucity Reload”, which was released in November 2018). I was called “inexperienced” and “unskilled” not only in the rock scene but also in the light novel scene, so I made effort to sweep it all away. It felt like I was being treated like a tumor in everything I did. But then I suddenly thought, “Yeah, that’s fine”. There was a moment one day when the mists actually cleared, like, “What was I so at loss about?” It’s not like I’ve been going at it just so that someone would praise me. If anything, I lived my life constantly being made fun of. I’m no good at sports, I’m not smart, and I by no means did I ever excel at communicating with people at all. By the moment that I thought, if this is my character, then maybe being praised isn’t the only right answer, I was suddenly alleviated. If I’m being called a “child deceiver”, then I’m going to do that with all my might and apply myself to it, is what I thought. I refused to go to school for a while when I was in middle school, yet I had the feeling that I wanted to face this part of me, not in a fashionable or trendy way but in a miserable state, and fight him head-on. I guess that’s what suited me best. To me, Shirakami-san and Yuumao-san are people with a “chosen vision”. They have the sense to perceive beauty. I think I don’t have that in me. Which is why I was in pain. I was in a dilemma where I couldn’t grasp music as an art. However, it’s not like I’m making fun of hamburgers, but I started to think that I wanted to compete using something punk, something hamburger-like. It took me a while to get there.

——How do you feel after listening to what Jin-san just said, Yuumao-san and Shirakami-san?

Yuumao: Jin-kun said just now that he was “fretting” and “stuck”, but I knew about his circumstances to a certain extent, so I imagined that he was unable to move on. But while talking about all sorts of things with Jin-kun, when producing stuff in the last three to four years, we had the feeling that it basically boils down to “if we don’t provide this and that, it won’t be interesting”. This isn’t limited to KagePro – I just personally felt that the productions of his works were shifting towards not “making something good”, but rather making something that could be properly verbalized. For me, as someone on the performing side, I was also in a situation where, rather than just providing good content one way or another, I became increasingly able to explain it. In the end, we change just like that, is what I felt. And you base yourself on this to make new songs, right?

Jin: That’s right.

Yuumao: Thought so. That’s why I feel like the stuff that will come from you in the future will have stronger colors.

——Shirakami-san, what about you? How did the scenario change in the past decade and how do you think that you have been progressing as a musician?

Shirakami: The biggest change that I felt the most on my skin is that the huge Vocaloid movement itself has completely gained familiarity with the public in the last ten years. About a while after I had started associating with Mafumafu-kun, amongst the musicians that I’ve met, the number of people who came up to tell me, “I’ve been listening to Vocaloid” has increased. It’s been one round ever since we began doing this stuff, and the people who were the consumers back then became producers, is what I mean. That’s not us, the first generation – it’s a kind of follower generation, and we’ve completely permeated them. The context of what was born not only from VOCALOID but also the so-called internet culture has blended with the category named “ordinary rock bands”. That’s what I’ve been feeling for three or four years now. Therefore, the “feeling of being a knock-off” that Jin-kun innitially talked about has disappeared with the change of times, so to speak. I feel this keenly even in regards to myself and I think it’s an objective truth. However, from a personal point of view, even though changes are happening in many places, what is fundamentally required of us hasn’t changed much. For example, I believe that VTubers are also getting public familiarity now, but I think the reason why VTubers are trendy is that there are human beings underneath. For VOCALOID, too, the composers, so-called Vocalo-P’s, are the ones who get popularity, and one way or another, there’s also a phenomenom where the songs sung by popular Utaite become widespread. In the end, I think what matters is the fact that there are people behind it. I personally think we have to create stuff that we can be proud of while paying close attention to these things. In short, just because all internet content is intangible isn’t enough; we, the creators, have to carry the literacy of how society is going to approve of us.

Jin: That’s right. I think that VOCALOID music up to this point, Kagerou Project included, will have to be supplemented. Since we have words that are so easy to understand, such as “rock band”, “singer” and “songwriter”, for example, people go, “What the heck is a Vocalo-P, then?” At first, there was this impression that we were being given a weird alias by strangers, and I also felt like the adults, the people who are in control of the media, made us into something easy to digest. In regards to “deceiving children”, in order to earn money the fastest with it and make it spread the widest, the most effective method was probably to make it marketable, simple to understand and easy for adults to put labels on.

Therefore, I think that things such as “What is it that I can’t give up on?” and “What did I even want to do to begin with?” are the true identity of the realization that I mentioned earlier. It’s like wondering whether or not you can say aloud in the middle of a classroom that you “enjoy anime” or “really like cute characters”. Back in those days, I couldn’t to it at all. The class had castes. But I want to say this in a loud voice. Rather than trendy and fashionable overseas music, I much sooner believe in Summon Night EX-THESE’s theme song (“Byakuya” by Matsumoto Eiko) and other such music that I’ve always liked. Therefore, I want to start off from the fact that people think, “Aah, this guy has no sense”. It’s like I’m saying sorry to my middle school second-year self for almost forgetting the feelings I had back then. I seriously don’t care about winning. Being number one or being famous doesn’t matter at all to me. Only, I just don’t want people to act on their own accord like I’m a loser. I think that means I want to do something to fix this.

Earning recognition for creating KagePro content is still a few ways ahead.

——Back in 2013, we had a conversation between Jin-san and Suganami Eijun-san from THE BACK HORN, and back then, Jin-san said, “I’m handing bombs over to my grade school and middle school selves”. And that live concerts were the detonators.

Jin: That’s right.

——Regarding KagePro, I feel that this thing about “handing bombs over” is very prominent. Just as Shirakami-san said, VOCALOID “earned its own rights”, but in KagePro’s case, when I see the responses to the reboot, each and every one of the comments is very passionate.

Yuumao: Lately, be it with KagePro or Hitorie, the number of people who say either that they’re listening or had been listening to VOCALOID in the past year and a half has truly increased a lot. I kind of feel on my skin that many people are getting rooted in it.

——Jin-san, do you feel this too?

Jin: No, I don’t. This is a twisted way of putting it, but I think it’s a few ways ahead for us to receive that evaluation. I feel like it’s not over yet. When I started off by myself and decided to move on from my child self to the future, I wasn’t acknowledged by my elders and seniors. I feel inside me that this still isn’t over. I intend to be in a whirlpool. It hasn’t been proven yet whether I’m a knock-off or not. It makes me really happy that there are people who were influenced by us, but that opinion doesn’t make me change my mind.

——Jin-san, how do you think of KagePro in the near future?

Jin: When I look toward the future, I simply want to finish it. I will be taking my time to create content, but first things first, I want to devote myself to the completion of this project. I definitely won’t abandon it midway. I have this firmly in mind now. As for its contents, it’s mainly two things. For now, firstly, we have started the reboot from Children Record, but of course, there’s also a reboot for the project’s story. Moreover, there will be new developments coming next. There are also new songs and new stuff story-wise. And I want to do them with these two members, for as much as they allow. There’s the possibility that I’ll be making the drums play at 200 BPM when we’re in our 50’s. I think the announcements will be slow, but I’m very positive about this, so I myself am looking forward to it too. And, on the other hand, I also would like to ask these two for their ideas in regards to making music for this project and their opinions, like what they want to work hard on.

——What do you mean?

Jin: I honestly think that Children Record was extremely well-done. When it comes to creating something new, I want to destroy the approach that I’ve been using until now. How about it?

Shirakami: If we’re talking about approach, I believe we’ve been witnessing all sorts of possibilities. We went to studios together the past ten years for that, but we can also do it online like we did this time. Ah, we haven’t gone on a training camp yet.

Jin: I want to go on one.

Yuumao: For sure.

Shirakami: That might be interesting too. Now, if we’re talking just about the bass, it seems this production will turn out as one where I’ll get to confirm once again up to what point I can go – that’s what I thought when listening to you talk. I think the stance of trying to challenge yourself no matter how much you age is, of course, the way that musicians should be and I believe that challenging myself is the path I’m going to take, but there are genres, ideologies and aestheticss when it comes to music makers and performers. Personally, amongst the things that I’ve been producing together with Jin-kun until now, whenever we had a subject in front of us, we would only think about how to do our utmost to give a displayable form to it, but be it with the phrasing, nuance or melody, I feel like we have options for all of them. In a sense, there’s a side of Yuumao and I that has been branded as performers as we worked on productions with Jin-kun. So the extension of the straight line that we have been charting until now is, of course, still there. Now that ten years have passed, if I can make new songs with you from now on, I seriously think it might be okay to reflect once again on how my style is being processed. It’s as if it has matured. I have chosen this job out of free will, so one way or another, I’m aware that it’ll be important to keep polishing it from now onwards.

Jin: Thank you very much. That’s literally it. Even in the current Children Record, I think there’s some aspect of it that was made up from the minds of you two, the rhythm section members. Both Mashirou-san and Yuumao-san make new proposals every time. You never try to trace the past at all. The way you think about sound is insanely serious.

Yuumao: I’m planning to do my best to create sounds in a more loose manner from now on. As for what I mean by “loose”, to put it simply, I think it’s quite important to be inspired by present-time musical instruments, and that we get influence from that, when we’re making the sound details. I think it’s bad if we don’t accept and face these things. In particular, I believe that the bass and drums are the parts that change the most. KagePro won’t change yet it has changed, and I think we should keep bringing out that aspect of it.

――Indeed, as a concept, this reboot is not something made to arrange things in a completely different direction from before. Be it a ballad or programmed music, for instance, there would be nothing of that in it. It’s a remake, a rebuild – at any rate, it felt like you are building it up.

Jin: Thank you very much. In the end, we also shouldn’t think that we just perfomed it over again. So it felt like a rematch. We were all at home, but we did that recording ready to beat our selves from about eight years ago. What should I do to make the original members say that this one “was cooler” than the precious song called Children Record? I think I was able to find an answer to that one.

Shirakami: In a way, using VOCALOID might have been its forte. For example, whenever a band remade a song from ten years ago, I usually felt that “the vocals have none of the freshness that they had back then” or “the reckless feel from that time was better”. But because it’s VOCALOID, that part doesn’t change. It might be that we managed to grant positive changes only to the good points.

Jin: I see. I think that’s possible. My mindset this time was to play the guitar so much that my fingers would bleed. I want to take on more challenges from now onward too.

#kagerou project #kagepro #mekakucity actors #kagerou daze #kagerou project reboot #jin #shirakami mashirou #yuumao #realsound #interview #my translation

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moon-nymphet · 3 years

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Hcs or scenario (whatever you like!) *warning extreme angst* oikawa, kuroo and osamu with a crush. They mutually like each other but never made a move to progress anything. One day another girl comes along and the boys move onto them instead. Crush is upset but accepts it and backs off. A bit later the boys realise the new girl they’re with was just something fresh and new and they don’t actually like them. They want to go back to oh crush but they already have no feelings for them anymore 😢😢

i swear i cried real tears while writing this, i love destroying my own mental health (∪ ◡ ∪) and ahhh this took me so long to write bc i’m so freaking insecure about the quality of my writing, i’m sorry this is so bad but there u gooo ♡

♡ we could have been something ;; haikyuu

warnings: angst, rough language

kuroo

you know this type of friendship where the limits are so difuse that the rest of people beggins noticing you had a thing for each other ? that’s what kuroo and you have had for the longest time

kuroo and you spent most of your time hanging out together, you went to see him training and he always called you his girlfriend in front of his teammates just because he loved to see you all flustered, you worried so much about each other almost like a couple, and you were even starting to get along with kenma, so you knew for a fact that you were into each other, or at least that’s what you thought ??

as you two were pretty childish you used to bicker all the time, nothing serious most of the times because none of you could get away more than a day without talking to each other, and when you had this little arguments it was about silly things that didn’t matter

that continued being like that until this day kuroo started reproaching you that he was so tired of trying without a result — “you seem to fucking ignore the obvious signals i’m sending you y/n, are you playing the dumb role ??? i can’t continue like this anymore, i’m sorry but i met this girl and she showed me clearly that she wants to be with me as more than a friend” — and leaving you completely broken, he suddenly walked away from your life without a previous warning

at first you felt so guilty, it was true, you were a bit shy and insecure, but you thought he liked you just the way you were ? but then you understood well how things were in reality, your silly ass thought you two had something meaningful

sure it hurted to see him walking hand in hand with the stereotypical mean girl from highschool movies, but you know the worst part of this ?? it wasn’t her fault, it was his and only his. and that’s what broke you the most

things continued being the same for a while, and to be honest, it was a bit hard at the beggining, but when you finally realized you were just his toy, his distraction, you felt nothing but repulsion towards him

and that’s on why you rejected him so coldly when he left the girl that he “truly loved” to come back to you; yeah he did. and you knew he was regretting so hard leaving you, but you simply couldn’t trust his feelings for you anymore

“please y/n ... i acted like a horny teenager, i just knew things were gonna be easier with her and i was starting to lose hope in having something more with you, but it’s you, it’s always been you” kuroo kneeled in front of you, holding your hand to prevent you from leaving. but you couldn’t do other than looking at him with eyes full of pity, knowing from the beggining what you would say to him

“i’m sorry. i can’t. i don’t trust you anymore kuroo. it was so hard for me, you know ?? you abandoned me without a fucking sign of considerateness” as you abrutly let go of his hand and turned away, leaving him there, tears started falling from the corner of your eye, but no. you weren’t going to turn back to him, you wouldn’t do such harm to yourself

oikawa

were you aware of his reputation ?? the answer is yes, but you felt so happy when you were around him that you didn’t care in the least. “people talk when they have nothing important to do, this boy is such a sweetheart” is what you thought when tooru oikawa started paying you more attention than he did with other girls

he is every girl’s dream, a cute boy who treats you like an absolute princess. toruu took you on inifinity of dates, and you always had such a good time with him, time went by so fast when it was spent with oikawa. you saw life in pink when he picked you up with his car and stared at you, just to let out a “you look so fucking stunning today my little cutie”

at that time you didn’t really understand why you didn’t formalize things once and for all; he looked interested in you and you tried your best to let him know that you were into him too, the intimacy between you two was beggining to grow, you started doing more and more things together, everything was so idyllic it was hard to believe it was all real

but soon you saw the true colors of things, it didn’t take you that much time to learn that oikawa didn’t want to confess he really liked you because he didn’t want to lose all his fangirls.

it was such an ego-booster for tooru to know he had plenty of girls willing to do everything just for a night with him, that he had a big catalogue of girls to choose which one he wanted to have fun with

it’s not that he didn’t like you, it’s just that he wasn’t confident enough for you, and it showed when you saw him flirting with another girl in front of the high school entrance, his lips so close to hers they weren’t touching for a milimeter, leaving you in a big shock. that situation made you feel the dumbest shit ever, you knew who you were dealing with but you thought he was going to be different this time

yeah, you were the dumbest shit ever for believing that

although you waited anxiously for him to call, toruu never called you again from that day, and you couldn’t help but feel so ashamed of yourself. you knew you were fucked when you started feeling sorry for yourself, being such a desperate and ridiculous ass for some fuckboy that didn’t gave a shit about you

a good two weeks had to pass for you to start feeling better, because even if you knew you weren’t his girlfriend, you still felt betrayed. it hurt to see how you were nothing special for him, so replaceable it was even impressive

and talking about impressive, that’s how i’d call the fact that tooru had the audacity to text you after some time like nothing hapenned. “are you angry with me ???” — and the truth is that you weren’t angry, you were never angry with him, your feelings were deeply hurt but that’s all

“tooru ?? what does this means ?” after hesitating for a while if you should text him back and trying to resist the temptation, you ended up doing it

“it means please open the door my little cutie, i’m outside your house ” you couldn’t believe your eyes to what you were reading, but you went and opened the door for him to find out what all of this was about

“can i... ??” the tall setter grabbed your chin with his long and fine fingers, bringing your face closer to his. you didn’t even have time to react, oikawa didn’t finish his sentence but instead he pressed his lips against yours. you were absolutely freaking out, that leading you to break the kiss when you realized what was happening

“the fuck you think you are doing tooru oikawa ? you think you can come here after a whole ass month and act as if nothing happened ??”

“please listen to me y/n, it wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings, i’m sorry if you felt that way. i realized i truly want to be with you” he intensely stared into your eyes with that look of his. it was so alluring you almost gave in, but that wasn’t happening

“i’m not one of that hoes you can fuck one time and never call me back, i’m not that type. you keep saying you’re sorry about me feeling that way, not about what you fucking did. i don’t like you anymore oikawa and i regret so much that i did like you some time ago. and please now i’ll have to ask you to dissapear from my life”

he looked at you for some seconds with watery eyes before leaving without saying a word, and you genuinely weren’t able to tell if he was feeling that way or he was faking it. but that’s it, your story with oikawa tooru, your first and last kiss with him

osamu

your relationship with osamu was so difficult to describe, like, really difficult. you met him some years ago when you started going to inarizaki high and you didn’t really click with each other, but you soon became a great friend of atsumu

and that obviously carries seeing osamu frequently as he’s atsumu’s twin brother and they had quite a good relationship. don’t be mistaken, it’s not that you suddenly clicked and everything was amazing between you two, no

everything remained the same, and i could even say that the tension between osamu and you grew bigger because you simply couldn’t be around the other without bickering and disagreeing on the littlest of the things, that leading to atsumu having to stop you from fighting

but who says that tension wasn’t sexual at all ?? — because if you say so you’re completely wrong. it was so luring for you when he was just as sarcastic as you were with him, or when you said you were fucking tired of his shit and he came up with a defiantly “and what are you gonna do about it, huh ???”

it could be said that you were never attracted to easy things, and that included persons. it was easy to see you hated each other in such a lustful way it could turn into love without none of you noticing

and i’m not gonna lie, that’s what happened, but maybe you weren’t confident enough to confess when you noticed the feeling that started invading your heart. it was difficult to believe it could be reciprocate, but the same thing happened to osamu

none of you gave in to the feeling and things just happened to grow more tense as stupid as it may sound, leading you both to a cloud of confusion about what you should do. sadly, things don’t go always the way we want them to go

that’s what you learned when you were hanging out at atsumu’s and jealousy suddenly consumed you on the spot. osamu nonchalantly entered the house with a girl you didn’t knew, and went all the way to his room with her without even saying his usual “hello you dumbfuck” to you, closing the door behind his back

you couldn’t help it, and you stormed out of the house without even giving atsumu an explanation, you needed to be left alone with your thoughts

for the next days you couldn’t bring the face of that random girl out of your mind for a second, she looked like she knew what she was going to do when she entered osamu’s room, and you wished so bad you were her

but that’s what you got for not confessing on time

even though it was difficult, you had to get used to seeing the boy you like with other girl, and with the pass of time, it became easier and easier. maybe it was because you were starting to feel nothing for him but rage, rage because he didn’t notice you were so into him, or maybe he just didn’t care because he didn’t feel the same

sometimes you would think rationally and in a lucid moment, you realized it was your fault for being a coward ass and not confessing, but that didn’t matter at all because now you were over the romantic feeling, it was just regret what was left, maybe something beautiful could have happened

after some time, atsumu asked you what was going on that day, and now that you weren’t sensitive about that topic anymore you decided to be honest with him and tell him the truth. you could see the anguish in his face and you couldn’t tell why, but you understood it all some days after when osamu came to your house with a nervous aura and you felt even more dumb if it could happen

“i think i like you quite a lot... you dumbfuck” (yeah as you can see you had a beautiful nickname) he let those words out with an annoyed expression in his face

“oh no this can’t be happening now” you thought to yourself. “...samu ??... and what about... her ??”

“i left her y/n. i don’t wanna be with her if i can be with you, she was just the band-aid for my wound... you.” osamu directed his grey gaze to the floor, his expression softened as he confessed this to you. you couldn’t help but break down into tears, this couldn’t be happening to you. “hey... why are you crying y/n? are you okay?” concern showing in his voice

“it’s just that i feel like a true dumbfuck samu.” you tried to smile through your tears and downplay the matter but it was impossible at that point. the boy looked at you with a confused guise, tilting his head to one side and furrowing his brows. “i’m sorry love... i don’t feel like that”

“but tsumu said...” — his words were interrupted by you placing your index finger against his lips as you directed your teary gaze to him.

“not anymore samu... it was a while ago. i’m deeply sorry, you can’t even imagine how much and i hope you can forgive me for being such a dumbass” you tried to say it in the softest way you could because you truly were feeling like that

“hey y/n. don’t worry. it’s not your fault. i get it, come here” you felt osamu’s arms taking you in a tight embrace, giving an end to a beautiful story that didn’t even got time to start

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softsebnbuckystan · 3 years

Text

Souls ties - Part 3 (Bucky Barnes au)

"I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met"

The sun had set a while ago and the band had been replaced by speakers, meaning the party was coming to an end, even though you still hadn't properly talked to Bucky. You knew you probably should've payed more attention to your own husband but Darren seemed to enjoy himself more around his college friends. It would've driven you mad, had it been a regular party. Oddly enough, his behaviour that night didn't bother you as much as it should've. One might say your attention was elsewhere. It was late, and you were thirsty for water after all the champagne and hors-d'oeuvres you'd had. You were positive your rosy cheeks attested for it. At the bar, you took a minute for yourself and sat down, taking this occasion to relieve your feet from your high-heel shoes. The night's fresh air made the hair on your neck stand on end and your body's instinct was to shiver, even though the weather was still quite nice. Your body tensed up as you felt a presence at your side.

"Feeling a little tired there?" he asked. You were starting to know this voice now, and it was like music to your ears.

"I needed to be away from the crowd for a moment," you confessed.

"Oh, I can leave if you want."

This made you look at him instantly. "No, stay." You realised how pressing you must've sound and chuckled at his confused eyes – which had a beautiful shade of blue in the moonlight. "I mean...I didn't want to get away from you, specifically. Sorry if it sounded that way."

"I'd get it, you know," Bucky said. "What happened earlier..."

"...was disturbing for us both, I assume."

Bucky didn't say anything about you interrupting him. It felt natural, actually, almost like finishing his sentence rather than rudely stopping him mid-speech. "Yeah, exactly," he continued. "I'm really sorry if that caused you...any pain or something."

"What? The coffee?" you asked naïvely. "Don't worry, it wasn't that hot," you said with a wink.

A faint smile appeared on Bucky's lips, making you notice both how he hadn't smiled much until then and that it lightened up his face in a touching way.

"I meant pain as in fear, or anxiety. Your wedding mustn't be the place you expected to hear those words." He looked you in the eyes and you shivered once more. "Are you cold?"

You shook your head no before looking down to your knees. His eyes on you were making you feel all sorts of ways you wouldn't dream of sharing with anyone. "No, I'm not," you said. Taking a careful breath in, you decided to glance at him. Your eyes paused at the same time as your lungs, taken away by the beauty of the man's face. Something behind his blue iris was beyond description and drove you even more eager to get to know him, his story, his passions and pet-peeves, his everything. He'd seemed to have stopped breathing for a second as well, but you weren't entirely sure it hadn't been a figment of your imagination.

"Maybe we should go back to the others," you whispered. You tried getting off your stool and slipped next to your shoe. Bucky moved fast to grab you with his arm and prevent you from hitting the ground. His grip was firm – exaggeratedly firm. You brushed off the sensation of his leather glove on your back and thanked him hastily before going back to Steve.

"Are you okay?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"Yeah, sure." You knew he wasn't fooled by your answer ; Steve knew you better than you knew yourself. Bucky stayed silent for a while after that, and neither of you seemed to fathom what to do next.

---

"Ready to go, honey?"

You opened surprised eyes at Darren's question. It was barely past midnight.

"Darren, we can't leave before the other guests, c'mon..."

Your husband looked disappointed and now that most of your shock had gone away, his attitude was slowly driving you mad, especially when you gave deeper thought to his actions and words throughout the day.

"Do you even want to be here at all?" you asked him, somewhat dryly.

"Calm down, y/n. We've been here forever and I wanna rest for the night. Is that too much to ask?"

"Resting on your wedding night? Yeah, that's a lot to ask for," you replied. "I thought we were going to party until the end and have fun with our friends before going home. Consensual marriage is supposed to be celebrated, don't you know that? Ugh, you really are a buzzkill sometimes."

"Wow, easy there. If you want to stay, fine. But I'm going home."

"Are you serious right now?" Your stomach was burning with anger and disappointment. You loved Darren, but this kind of behaviour had become a habit of his. "You're going to leave me alone at our wedding party?"

"You're not alone, you have Steve and Wanda and...whoever that guy is over there. Enjoy the rest of your night."

"Damn it, Darren, that's not fair!"

Wanda's eyes turning towards you made you realise how loud your voices had been and you lowered yours a notch.

"Fine, go home. But don't expect me to be all smiles when I join you, if I even do."

Upon those words, you turned around and walked away from him. You were perfectly aware that there was no point in reasoning with him at this point. You ended up going back to your group and were surprised to see that Steve and Wanda had walked away as well, leaving Bucky alone.

"Where are they going?" you asked, still angry from what'd just happened.

"They're grabbing more drinks. Wanda said she'd choose something for you since you were...busy."

You brought your hand to your forehead, ashamed that he'd heard you losing your temper.

"Sorry about that. He's just...difficult, sometimes."

"I saw that," he said with his hands in his pockets, "and no need to be sorry." You could see him take a deep breath in before he kept talking, even though he was trying hard to look as calm and composed as possible. "Come, let's take a walk. It'll help you blow off some steam."

You followed Bucky through the garden and as you drifted away from the crowd, hearing less and less voices, a soothing feeling filled your body and mind. You took deep breaths in and deep breaths out, taking in the bucolic smell of the close-by forest. The only thing left bothering you were your shoes, and you made the call to take them off, leaning on Bucky's shoulder without even thinking about it. He stopped to let you do it.

"Here, let me hold them." He gently grabbed your shoes by the heels and carried them for the way.

"Thank you." You took a peek at him and smiled. "How did you know a walk would calm me down?"

"I...I just did," he answered with a shrug. "Did it work?"

"It's starting to." You smiled at him ingenuously, taking in some of his features at the same time. The slight crook of his nose, the rebellious hair on his neck... A question was burning your lips. It was just the two of you, so you might as well just ask. "Did you ever give much thought to what your tattoo said?"

He didn't seem taken aback by your question. At least you didn't think he was, even though his emotions were hard to read.

"Not really. I just assumed someone would pay me a compliment out of the blue and confuse the hell out of me." He chuckled for the first time since you'd met him and you got a feeling that didn't happen often. He stopped quickly, as would a kid caught red-handed. "You?"

"I had lots of scenarios in my head. Someone bumping into me, stepping on my feet or even running me over with a car...I mean, that sentence could've been said at many occasions, really."

"It's true, though I don't think saying 'shit, I'm sorry' would be an appropriate apology after running somebody over with a car."

You laughed at his remark and nodded in agreement.

"True. It is only an appropriate apology for spilling coffee all over someone," you teased.

You couldn't even hear the music the speakers were playing anymore, only the insects buzzing and leaves brushing against each other. As you walked, you got dangerously closer to Bucky. You knew what your body was doing, where your legs were taking you, but you had no idea why they were doing it. You shouldn't have been standing so close to him, especially on your wedding night. Your hand accidentally brushed against his leather glove and he moved away. His movement wasn't big enough to call it an act of repulsion, but you also didn't know why exactly he didn't want to be close to you.

"I'm sorry," you said. "I just..."

"...want to be close. I know." He sighed and stopped walking. "It's a weird feeling and I didn't think you...I thought you weren't feeling it."

"What? The feeling that draws me to you and that I can't control? Of course I feel that. I've...I've met you hours ago, and yet..."

"You feel a connection that dates to much longer than that," he finished.

"Exactly. I couldn't really put words on it but...yeah. That's what it feels like."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Steve wanted me to come here for some reason and I..."

"Don't say you shouldn't have come, please."

He looked back at you and saw you'd been staring at your feet saying that sentence. His face changed in an instant.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. Not at all, actually... If I hadn't been there tonight, you might have actually enjoyed your wedding."

"I did enjoy it," you replied in a hurry. "Just not the way I imagined." You stared into his eyes, trying to understand what he was feeling in this very moment. "We'll see each other again, right?"

"That might not be a good idea, as much as I would want to."

"But...as my sister always tells me, soulmates don't have to be romantic. I can be happily married and still get to know you....can I?"

He tightened his lips, thinking about his answer. His face gave you no clue as to what he truly wanted, but the answer he gave you might have been an indication.

"You can try. I can try."

---

Part 3 is where I chose to start the fluff haha! I hope you enjoyed this part. It felt quite cute writing it, so I hope the final result is :)

tag list:

@ginger-swag-rapunzel

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #winter solider x reader #catws #cacw au #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #self insert

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