#especially if it has the potential to help people

[03jyh23]

— shooting stars!  || park seonghwa

loosely inspired by the drama shitting stars!

Most people aren’t interested in the truth. They just casually gossip to entertain themselves. No one takes responsibility for the caused pain.

idol!seonghwa x prmanager!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

trigger warnings: vanilla sex, honestly there's not much just kissing, touching, and... lovemaking. really soft smut. it's embarrassing, jealousy, argument, emotional distress, career-related stress, and difficult decisions

words: 8.2 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! this is my longest story so far! i've been working on it like crazy for the past few days and here we finally are. so the smut... it's not really a smut but still? i tried oh god, i feel so embarrassed but yeah i just decided to go for it. it's again requested work but i actually changed some of it to fit into my idea... anyway thank you so much for requesting!

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like or comment would truly make my day!

The office in Mapo-gu, Seoul, felt stiflingly hot, despite having already downed three cups of iced coffee. With the air conditioning out of order and repairs not scheduled until two days later, you found yourself drowning in a sea of work. Who would have imagined that working at a medium-sized entertainment agency would entail such an overwhelming workload? You should have felt grateful for landing this job, considering the effort you had put into securing it, but at times, it felt overwhelmingly demanding. Being the head of the PR department at KQ Entertainment was certainly something to boast about, especially after ATEEZ's success. You joined the company a few years back when you were the sole member of the PR team. If you claimed you believed in the company's success from the beginning, you'd be lying. When you first entered, fear outweighed optimism regarding the future. Indeed, it was no small feat for eight teenage boys to shoulder the weight of an entire company, but ATEEZ rose to the challenge with unwavering determination and passion. Now, with two active bands under KQ's wings, you find yourself constantly occupied.  

Managing the members of ATEEZ was undoubtedly a challenging task, and surprisingly, it wasn't due to any misbehavior on their part. Despite their young age and the temptations that come with fame, the ATEEZ members remained remarkably grounded and focused on their careers. You truly admired that. But when a band from such a small company starts gaining momentum, rumors are bound to circulate. Your main priority was to prevent those rumors from leaking. Which wasn't easy, as people can be cruel when they're envious. But still, to this day ATEEZ has not been involved in any major scandals, which made you proud.  

In a small company like KQ, everybody knows each other. Initially, stepping into that environment, you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous around the members of ATEEZ. Their presence seemed to exude a magnetic energy that was both captivating and intimidating. As you interacted with them more and more, you realized that their aura was indeed something special. Each member brought their own unique charm and personality to the table. You and the members of ATEEZ grew slightly closer than others, due to your similar ages, but it was Seonghwa who stood out to you the most. His effortless humor, kindness, and genuine care for others made him a favorite. Right from the start, you felt drawn to him. However, you maintained a professional demeanor, knowing all too well the potential consequences of getting too close, especially considering his status as an idol. But at some point, company dinners and parties became regular occasions, where you celebrated each of ATEEZ’s success together. And as the alcohol in your system increased, your professionalism decreased. Your bond with Seonghwa deepened, you found yourself drawn to him more than ever before. Whether it was sharing drinks, engaging in playful games, or simply relishing heartfelt conversations over company dinner, you cherished every moment spent in his company. With each passing interaction, your admiration for him grew, and before you knew it, you were falling head over heels for him. Despite the looming fear of crossing a line you couldn't return from; you couldn't resist him. What started as a professional relationship evolved into something much deeper and more profound. The shy touches and lingering glances exchanged between you spoke volumes, conveying emotions that words alone couldn't express. In the midst of loud music and bustling crowds, you found yourselves leaning closer to each other, seeking solace in the warmth of each other's presence. His hand naturally gravitated to your waist whenever you stood side by side, a silent yet undeniable declaration of the connection you shared. 

The day had been long and exhausting, and you were just about ready to call it quits when the sudden intrusion of your boss jolted you from your thoughts. Startled, you looked up to see him standing in the doorway, a look of excitement and urgency written across his face. 

"Y/N! Have you heard?" he exclaimed; his voice filled with anticipation. You blinked in surprise, your exhaustion momentarily forgotten as you leaned forward in your chair.  

"Heard what?" you asked, curiosity piqued. Your boss couldn't contain his grin as he delivered the news.  

"ATEEZ just sold out an entire US Tour!" The words hung in the air, sinking in slowly as you processed their significance. And then, without warning, a surge of elation washed over you, and before you knew it, you were on your feet, a joyful scream escaping your lips. 

"What?" you exclaimed, unable to contain your excitement. Without a second thought, you rushed forward, enveloping your boss in a tight hug, overcome with happiness at the incredible news. It was a moment of pure exhilaration, a testament to the hard work and dedication of everyone involved in ATEEZ's journey. The exhaustion of the day melted away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment. The excitement in your boss's voice was contagious as he patted your back, a wide grin spreading across his face.  

"We are celebrating tonight!" he declared with enthusiasm, his words echoing through the office. A surge of anticipation raced through you at the prospect of celebrating ATEEZ's incredible achievement.  

"Absolutely!" you replied eagerly, already picturing the party ahead. With a playful wink, your boss continued,  

"So go back to your place, doll up, and I'll see you here at 7 sharp!" You nodded enthusiastically, a smile stretching from ear to ear.  

"You got it!" You exclaimed, already mentally planning your outfit for the evening. As you made your way out of the office, the excitement of the impending celebration filled you with renewed energy. With a spring in your step and a heart full of anticipation, you packed up your belongings and bid farewell to the office for the day. The thought of celebrating ATEEZ's success and the prospect of finally seeing Seonghwa filled you with an infectious excitement that bubbled within you. As you made your way through the bustling streets, the anticipation only grew stronger. The familiar sights and sounds of the city seemed to fade into the background, overshadowed by the promise of the evening ahead. Tonight was a night for celebration, a chance to toast to ATEEZ's success and revel in the joy of being surrounded by friends and colleagues. But above all else, it was a night to be reunited with Seonghwa, and you couldn't wait to see where the evening would take you. With a smile on your face and excitement in your heart, you pushed open the door to your apartment.  

After a quick shower to freshen up and wash away the cares of the day, you set about styling your hair and applying my makeup with meticulous care. With the luxury of extra time on your hands, you paid attention to every detail to ensure that you looked and felt your best for the evening ahead. After finishing your make-up, you reached out for your phone resting on the nightstand, your heart skipping a beat as you saw Seonghwa's name flashing on the screen. A surge of excitement coursed through you as you answered the call, eager to hear his voice after what felt like an eternity apart. 

"Hello?" You said, your voice tinged with anticipation as you brought the phone to your ear, butterflies dancing in your stomach. 

"Hey, it's me," Seonghwa's voice came through the line, warm and familiar, sending a rush of warmth through you. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you replied,  

"Hi, Seonghwa. I was just thinking about you." There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by a soft chuckle.  

"Funny, I was just thinking about you too," he said, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "I will see you tonight, right?"  

"Absolutely, I wouldn't miss it for anything," you replied without hesitation, "We definitely need to celebrate!" 

"Honestly, the only thing that matters is that I will finally see you," Seonghwa's voice came through the phone, filled with warmth and affection. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you replied,  

"Same here, Seonghwa. I've missed you." And as you exchanged a few more words of affection and excitement, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to be reunited once more. With a renewed sense of anticipation and joy, you ended the call, a sense of warmth and happiness lingering in your heart. Tonight was going to be a night to remember, and you couldn't wait to see Seonghwa's smiling face once more. 

Choosing the perfect outfit for the evening was challenging. On one hand, you wanted to look your best – to make a memorable impression on Seonghwa after being apart for so long due to his overseas schedule. But on the other hand, you didn't want to appear overdressed or out of place at the party. After rummaging through your wardrobe for what felt like an eternity, you finally settled on something. Opting for a timeless and sophisticated look, you selected a classic black shirt for the evening's celebration. Deciding to add a touch of allure to the ensemble, you opted to leave the top few buttons of the shirt undone, revealing a hint of skin. It was a small gesture, but it added just the right amount of intrigue to the outfit. Paired with a simple black skirt that hit just in the middle of your tights, the combination was effortlessly sexy. The monochromatic palette created a sleek and cohesive look that was eye-catching. With a few carefully chosen accessories – a delicate, gold necklace, a pair of understated earrings, and a sleek clutch – you completed the outfit. As you admired your reflection in the mirror, a sense of excitement washed over you. Tonight was going to be a night to remember. 

You entered the company building, the air was filled with electric energy, a tangible sense of excitement pulsating through the air. Everywhere you looked, you could see signs of preparation – colorful balloons swaying gently in the breeze, banners hanging from the walls, and a festive atmosphere that filled the space with warmth and joy. A smile spread across your lips as you took in the sight before you, feeling a surge of excitement building within you. It was clear that everyone had gone to great lengths to ensure that tonight's celebration would be a night to remember, a fitting tribute to ATEEZ's incredible achievement. With each step you took, the anticipation continued to build, fueled by the excitement of finally being reunited with Seonghwa and the rest of the ATEEZ members. After exchanging greetings with everyone and soaking in the festive atmosphere, you found yourself nestled in a cozy corner of the room, a drink in hand. As you scanned the bustling room, your heart skipped a beat with each familiar face that passed by, hoping to catch sight of Seonghwa among the crowd, but he was nowhere to be found.  

"Y/N!" As you heard your name called from across the room, you turned your head in the direction of the sound. Through the sea of people, you spotted a familiar face. 

"San!" You greeted him enthusiastically as he approached, a genuine smile spreading across your face at the sight of him. San was always such a warm and friendly presence, and you were genuinely glad that he had come over to you. "Congratulations!" you exclaimed as San pulled you in a warm hug. With a smile, you pulled back from the hug, meeting his gaze with genuine happiness in your eyes. "I'm so happy for you, San," you said sincerely, knowing that his success was well-deserved.  

"It's truly incredible," San replied, a smile tugging at his lips as he raised his glass to clink it against yours. The sound of glass meeting glass echoed through the room, a toast to success. "It's moments like these that make all the hard work worth it," San said, you nodded with agreement. "Here's to many more successes and celebrations to come." with a smile, you took another sip of your drink, savoring the moment and feeling grateful for the opportunity to share it with a friend like San. 

''Y/N! You look amazing!' You didn't notice when Hongjoong approached you, 

"Thank you!" You replied, feeling a rush of warmth at his words. Before you could react, Hongjoong took your hand and spun you around gently, causing laughter to bubble up from within you. His eyes scanned you appreciatively, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks under his gaze. It was a simple gesture, but it filled you with a sense of happiness.  

"Am I interrupting something?" As the question hung in the air, you turned your gaze away from Hongjoong and met Seonghwa's eyes, feeling a rush of emotions wash over you. His presence seemed to fill the room, drawing you in with an intensity that was both exhilarating and unnerving. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you locked eyes, a silent exchange passing between you both. In that moment, it felt as though the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of you standing there, caught in a moment. 

"No, not at all," you replied, as you tore your gaze away from Seonghwa's, turning back to face San and Hongjoong. "We were just catching up." your mind remained fixed on Seonghwa, unable to shake the feeling of his presence lingering in the air.  

"I was just telling her how amazing she looks tonight," As Hongjoong's words filled the air, a warm smile spread across your face at his kind gesture. It was a small reassurance amid the tension that lingered between Seonghwa and you, 

"Thank you, Hongjoong," you replied with genuine gratitude, meeting his gaze briefly before turning back to face Seonghwa once more. His eyes bore into yours, and you couldn't help but wonder what thoughts lay behind Seonghwa's gaze. 

''We will leave you two alone and say hi to the rest of the team.'' San spoke, as he took Hongjoong by his arm, and pulled him behind. 

"Of course," you replied, nodding in understanding as San and Hongjoong made their way towards the rest of the team. They disappeared into the crowd, leaving you alone. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you filled with unspoken words and unresolved tension. 

“I don’t like the way they look at you” Seonghwa's words hung in the air, breaking the silence with a weight that you couldn't ignore. His voice was soft, tinged with a hint of concern that sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and curiosity at his sudden confession.  

"What do you mean?" you asked. There was a depth to his words that hinted at something more, and you found yourself holding your breath, waiting for him to elaborate. Seonghwa sighed, his expression troubled as he struggled to find the right words.  

"I mean... I just don't like the way they look at you," he confessed, his voice strained with emotion. His admission caught you off guard, and you were at a loss for how to respond. "It drives me crazy." As he downed his drink in one swift motion, you could see the tension in his shoulders easing slightly.  

"Seonghwa, are you... jealous?" you asked tentatively, your heart pounding in your chest. His eyes widened at your question, and for a moment, he was speechless. 

"Jealous?" Seonghwa repeated, seemingly taken aback by your question. He looked at you, his eyes searching yours as if he was trying to find the answer himself. After a moment of silence, he let out a soft chuckle, his gaze dropping to his hands. "Maybe I am," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. The intensity of his confession made your heart flutter, and a blush crept up your cheeks. You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, a sign of his nervousness that you had come to recognize. 

"I just... I care about you, you know?" He looked up at you, his eyes filled with an emotion that you hadn't seen before. It was a look of protectiveness, of possessiveness, but also of vulnerability. And in that moment, you realized that perhaps Seonghwa's feelings ran deeper than you had initially thought. Your moment was abruptly interrupted by someone calling his name from across the room. Your heart sank slightly, realizing that you wouldn't have the opportunity to delve deeper into the conversation. Seonghwa glanced at you apologetically, his expression filled with regret. 

"I'll be right back," he promised, his voice tinged with disappointment. You nodded in understanding, offering him a reassuring smile despite the lingering questions in your mind.  

"Take your time," you replied, watching as he made his way through the crowd, his figure disappearing into the throng of people. Left alone with your thoughts, you couldn't help but wonder about the true meaning behind Seonghwa's words. His confession had stirred up a whirlwind of emotions within you, and you longed for the chance to delve deeper into it. But for now, all you could do was wait, hoping for the opportunity to continue your conversation when the time was right.  

As the night wore on, you found yourself swept up in a whirlwind of conversations and celebrations, the opportunity to continue the conversation with Seonghwa slipping further and further away with each passing moment. Seonghwa seemed to be caught up in the festivities as well, pulled in different directions by the demands of the evening. Despite your best efforts to find a moment alone with him, the bustling atmosphere of the party made it difficult to carve out the time for a private conversation. Seonghwa was constantly surrounded by friends and colleagues, and you found yourself pulled in different directions as well, engaging in lively discussions and catching up with the rest of the team.  

The atmosphere in the company was quiet, with only the faint echoes of the recent party lingering in the air. As the party slowly wound down and the last of the guests trickled out of the door, you found yourself alone in the room, left to clean up the aftermath. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps approached, and you turned to find Seonghwa lingering in the doorway.  

"Can I help you clean up?" he asked, his voice gentle and earnest. You nodded, appreciating his offer of help and the chance to speak with him once again. 

"Of course, thank you, Seonghwa." You replied, welcoming his company. Together, you started to pick up the scattered cups and plates, the silence between you comfortable yet filled with anticipation. Seonghwa worked diligently, making quick work of the mess. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, admiring his focus. When he finished, he looked up and met your gaze, a small smile playing on his lips. 

"It's much easier with two people," he commented, breaking the silence. You agreed and thanked him again for his help. The room was now clean, but neither of you made a move to leave. Seonghwa finally broke the silence.  

"About what I said earlier," he began, hesitating slightly. You nodded, indicating that you were listening. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before he continued. "I meant what I said. I care about you... more than I probably should." His words echoed in the empty room; the atmosphere suddenly heavy. You looked at him, surprised by his confession but also relieved. His feelings mirrored your own, and you found yourself smiling at him. 

"I care about you too, Seonghwa," you replied, his face lit up at your words, and for the first time that evening, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. 

"Can I kiss you?" His words sent a thrill of anticipation coursing through you, and without hesitation, you reached out to gently cup his face in your hands. 

"Yes," you whispered, Seonghwa’s eyes twinkled with happiness at your answer. You could feel your heart pound against your chest in anticipation. Seonghwa’s touch was gentle yet commanding as he pulled you closer by your waist, drawing you into his embrace with a magnetic force that was impossible to resist. As his touch sent shivers cascading down your spine, your body reacted instinctively, responding to the electrifying sensation with an intensity that took your breath away. Every nerve seemed to ignite with a fiery spark as his fingertips grazed your skin, leaving a trail of tingling sensation. Seonghwa's lips were warm and soft against yours, each gentle brush sending sparks of electricity dancing across your skin. The moment his lips met yours, everything around melted away. All you could feel was him; his lips on yours, his heartbeat echoing your own. The kiss was soft, tender, filled with all the emotions that had been building up between you. With each press of Seonghwa’s lips against yours, you felt yourself melting into his touch, losing yourself in the intoxicating sensation of his embrace. Your heart pounded furiously in your chest, a steady rhythm echoing the urgency of the desire that coursed through you. With each caress, your senses were heightened, attuned to every nuance of his touch. It was as if a spark had been ignited within you, setting your entire being ablaze with a fierce longing that threatened to consume you whole.  

"Seonghwa, we shouldn't," you whispered breathlessly against his lips as you pulled away, a pang of hesitation gnawing at your heart.  

"Why not?" He murmured, his breath hitching as he stared at you with a look of surprise and confusion. His words resonated within you, forcing you to confront the fear that had been lingering at the back of your mind. You swallowed hard, your mind wrestling with the feelings that had been building up inside you. 

"You're an idol, Seonghwa, and I... I work for your PR team," you started, your voice barely a whisper. You watched as the confusion in his eyes shifted to understanding, his grip on your waist loosening slightly. "The rules... the... the consequences," you stuttered, your heart pounding as you tried to put your fears into words. "We could get caught... I could lose my job... and it could ruin your career." For a moment, Seonghwa was silent, absorbing your words. You could see the struggle in his eyes, the battle between his feelings and the harsh reality of the world you both lived in. But then, he pulled you closer, his eyes never leaving yours. 

"I understand," he said softly, his voice barely audible over the pounding in your chest. "But I can't help how I feel about you. We'll figure this out... together." You tried to say something, to voice the concerns still swirling in your mind, but Seonghwa shook his head and placed a finger on your lips.  

"Shhh... I've waited too long for this," he murmured, and before you could respond, he leaned in once again, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss that left no room for argument. His touch was electrifying, his lips hungry and insistent against yours, and you found yourself returning his fervor with equal intensity. There was no gentleness, no tender caresses. Instead, your kiss was raw and unbridled, fueled by a primal hunger that threatened to consume you both. With each brush of your lips, the barriers that had once held you back crumbled, giving way to an overwhelming surge of desire. In the heat of the moment, there was no room for hesitation or doubt. All that mattered was the fiery connection that blazed between you, igniting a flame that burned brighter with each passing second. And as you lost yourselves in the intoxicating rush of passion, you knew that there was no turning back. As the world around you melted away, you found the courage to voice the words that had been on the tip of your tongue.  

"Let's go to my place," you breathed out, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for his response. Seonghwa looked at you, a slight surprise in his eyes. Then a slow smile spread across his face, transforming his features into a look of pure happiness.  

"I'd love to," he replied, his voice husky. You reached out, gently grasping Seonghwa's wrist and pulling him to follow you. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, but there was a glimmer of excitement mirrored in their depths. With a sense of urgency, you swiftly took your purse. Every movement was propelled by a heady mix of anticipation and desire, your heart pounding in rhythm with the rapid pace of your thoughts. As you made your way to the back door, Seonghwa paused for a moment, reaching for his jacket, glasses, and a mask before stepping outside. You were struck by his thoughtfulness and attention to detail. In that simple gesture, you saw a glimpse of the considerate and caring person he was beneath the surface. With a soft smile, you followed, grabbing your own jacket and slipping on a mask before joining Seonghwa outside. The cool night air greeted you as you stepped onto the pavement, wrapping you in its embrace. Feeling the warmth of Seonghwa's hand intertwining with yours sent a jolt of electricity. With your fingers intertwined, you set off together, following the familiar way that would lead you to your apartment. You couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude as you made your way through the quiet streets, it was a relief to know that your apartment was only a short distance away from the company. 

As soon as the door to your apartment closed behind you, Seonghwa pulled you hard into his chest, your bodies pressing on each other. His kisses became more urgent, his grip on you tighter as if he was afraid you would disappear. His lips found yours in a passionate kiss that left you breathless, his taste intoxicating, leaving you wanting more. In this moment, there was no room for remorse or second thoughts, only the overpowering need for each other. You were lost in him, in the overwhelming sensation of his touch, his taste, his scent. As the intensity of your shared passion escalated, Seonghwa moved to unbutton your shirt, his fingers trembling slightly with anticipation. 

"Wait," you murmured, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes were dark and filled with desire, but he stopped at your words, his hands coming to rest on your waist as he waited for you to continue. "I... I just want to make sure we're both on the same page," you said softly, voice trembling slightly with the weight of the moment. "I care about you, Seonghwa, more than I can put into words. But I want it to mean something, for both of us." As you spoke, you searched his expression for any sign of hesitation or doubt, but all you found was a profound sense of understanding and respect. In that moment, you were sure that Seonghwa shared your desire for something deeper, something more meaningful than just physical intimacy. His lips curved into a tender smile, and he reached up to gently cup your cheek in his hand.  

"I understand," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "I want this to mean something too, Y/N. More than anything. I’m not leaving you." With those words, the last of your doubts melted away, leaving only a sense of trust and connection between you. His touch, careful and loving, trailed down your body, taking the time to appreciate every inch of you. Seonghwa’s fingers traced over your skin, leaving a trail of warmth and desire in their wake. He took his time, his hands exploring you as if he was memorizing every curve, every line of your body. Your hands found their way to his hair, tugging gently at the soft strands. He let out a soft groan, his hot breath fanning against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His lips found yours again, stealing your breath away with the intensity of the kiss. His hands moved to the buttons of your shirt, unbuttoning it and tossing it aside. His gaze was full of admiration and desire as he looked at you, his eyes taking in your form.  

"You're beautiful, Y/N," he murmured against your lips, his voice low and filled with emotion. You blushed, a smile spreading across your lips at his words. Seonghwa leaned in, pressing kisses along your neck, collarbones, down to your chest. His hands finally moved to unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor. His touch was electrifying, each kiss sending waves of pleasure through your body. Seonghwa was patient, taking his time to make you feel loved, and cherished. He moved lower, his lips trailing down your stomach, making you gasp with anticipation. You arched into his touch, your fingers tangling in his hair, guiding him closer to where you needed him. "So impatient," Seonghwa commented as he moved back up, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer. Craving the feel of his skin against yours, your hands moved to his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders. You took a moment to admire him, your gaze trailing over his muscular chest, and the defined abs. Seonghwa was beautiful, every inch of him perfect. You reached out, your fingers tracing over his skin, feeling the warmth radiating from him. Seonghwa’s hands roamed your body, the touch igniting a fire within you. He moved lower once again, his lips trailing down your stomach, making you gasp with anticipation. His hands moved to your skirt, unzipping it and sliding it down your legs. Seonghwa’s lips found the skin on your thighs, his hands gently creasing them, each touch sending waves of desire coursing through you. His lips moved up your tight, his lips finding all your sensitive spots, making you arch your back and gasp out his name. You felt his breath dangerously close to your panties, which by now were soaked completely with your arousal.  

"Seonghwa," you moaned, your voice thick with longing as you arched your back, surrendering to the intoxicating sensations that washed over you. "Not here," you murmured, your voice trembling as looked down on him with a mixture of desire and urgency. "Bedroom... Let's go to the bedroom." Seonghwa, with a deep and magnetic gaze that held you captive, guided you gently towards the bedroom. He led you to the edge of the bed, his hands never leaving your body. Carefully, with an affectionate touch, he laid you down on the soft sheets. Seonghwa's gaze was intense but tender, as if he was committing every detail of you to memory. The look in his eyes held a fervor that was both thrilling and comforting. The last piece of your clothing was slowly discarded, your lace panties landing softly on the floor. His hands, now free to explore, traced a path of heat down your bare body, each touch igniting a spark of anticipation. He kissed you deeply, a promise of more to come, before his eyes met yours once more. Seonghwa's gaze was full of adoration and hunger, a testament to the intimate connection that was about to deepen. Slowly, Seonghwa began to undress himself, his movements unhurried and deliberate. As the last piece of his clothing dropped to the floor, he positioned himself atop you, his bare skin against yours sending tremors of desire coursing through your veins. His eyes continued to hold your gaze, their depths reflecting the shared anticipation of the intimate moment that was about to unfold. 

"Is this alright?" Seonghwa whispered against your lips. 

"Yes," you murmured, your voice barely more than a whisper, "Yes, Seonghwa... I'm yours." Your affirmation seemed to ignite something within him. A slow, intoxicating smile spread across his face, his dark eyes twinkling with a mixture of love, desire, and a hint of possessiveness that sent shivers down your spine. His gaze never wavered from yours, maintaining eye contact as he leaned down, his lips meeting yours in a searing, passionate kiss. One of his hands, tender and firm, cradled your face, his thumb gently brushing against your cheeks. With the other one he steadied himself between your legs, and you finally felt him entering you slowly and gently, his movements measured and full of care. The feeling was intoxicating, overwhelming in its intensity but filled with a tenderness that only Seonghwa could provide. As Seonghwa moved, you felt a surge of pleasure that left you gasping, your fingers trailing over his back, your nails gently digging into his skin. His name fell from your lips in a breathless whisper, the syllables intertwining with the soft moans and gasps that filled the room. Each thrust heightened the pleasure, building up tension that had you moaning his name louder. He responded to your every sound, his movements shifting and adapting to your responses. It was as if he was attuned to every part of you, each touch designed to elicit the maximum pleasure. 

"Seonghwa," you moaned, as he continued to move, his rhythm steady and deliberate. He looked down at you, his gaze filled with love and desire, his expression mirroring the pleasure coursing through you. "I’m close" you whimpered as the pleasure started to overwhelm you. 

"I know, baby," he responded, his voice low and soothing. His eyes never left yours, holding your gaze as the room around you both seemed to fade. Each of his movements were measured, calculated to draw the maximum response from you. He knew exactly what you needed, when you needed it, and he wasn't afraid to take his time in delivering it. Seonghwa was completely in tune with your body, knowing just how to touch you, how to move, to bring you to the edge. A gasp escaped your lips as his rhythm increased, the intensity building as he moved. His name was a whispered prayer on your lips, the only word you could manage as you clung to him. The world around you narrowed to the feeling of him, the sight of him, the sound of him, the scent of him. 

"Let go baby," he murmured against your ear, his voice a soothing balm, grounding you in the moment. With a few more deep movements, he guided you both to the peak of your shared pleasure. The feeling was indescribable, a release of tension that left you both panting and gasping for breath. And through it all, Seonghwa was there with you, his gaze never leaving yours, his love and desire for you clear in his eyes. As the waves of pleasure subsided, Seonghwa collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms. He held you close, his heart beating in time with yours as you both lay there in silence, the echoes of your shared climax still reverberating through your bodies. Seonghwa’s fingers traced idle patterns on your skin, a soothing gesture that eased the lingering tremors racking your body. His lips pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, the tenderness of the gesture making your heart flutter. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. His concern was palpable, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort. You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips.  

"More than okay," you assured him, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from his sweaty forehead. His answering smile was warm and genuine, a sight that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. 

"Good," he murmured, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. His breathing slowly became more regular, his body relaxing as he basked in the afterglow. You laid there, tangled in each other's arms, your heartbeats syncing in the quiet. There was no need for words now, the silence between you was comfortable and familiar. As you drifted off to sleep, his arms tightened around you.  

You were suddenly awakened by the sound of Seonghwa's voice, harsh and irritated, a stark contrast to the gentle tone you had grown accustomed to. His distressed voice pierced the calm tranquility of the early morning as he was on the phone, pacing around the room with furrowed brows, clearly in frustration. As you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you noticed your phone blinking on the bedside table. Forty-three missed calls. A wave of chilly dread filled you as you unlocked your phone to see the flood of messages and notifications. The first one you clicked on made your heart drop. Pictures of you and Seonghwa, walking to your apartment, your hands intertwined, were plastered all over various media outlets. The headlines screamed about Seonghwa's secret relationship, a shocking revelation that seemed to have hit the fandom like a lightning bolt. The comments section was a whirlpool of emotions - shock, betrayal, and surprisingly, support. As you scrolled through the articles, you could barely register the words. This was your worst nightmare coming to life, the very reason you hesitated to start a relationship with Seonghwa in the first place. Seonghwa finished his call and turned to you, his face unnaturally pale.  

"It's all over the news," he said, his voice barely a whisper. The room felt suffocating as a heavy silence descended upon it, both of you too stunned to utter a word. The reality of the situation was sinking in, unfolding a terrifying scenario that you both had dreaded. Your mind was racing, scrambling to make sense of the situation. All your worst fears were coming to life - the fear of getting caught, of losing your job, and of potentially damaging Seonghwa's career. This was the adverse consequence of your secret relationship, the one you had feared and tried to prevent from the very beginning. Yet, amidst the turmoil, you couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. Your anger flared as you dialed your boss's number, your hands shaking as you held the phone to your ear. He picked up on the second ring, his voice tense, 

"You need to do your job and stop this information from spreading," he demanded, his tone cold and unyielding. You felt your heart clench at his words, a bitter laugh escaping your lips as you fired back,  

"How am I supposed to do that when I'm the one involved?" The line crackled with tension as you braced yourself for your boss's response, knowing that your conversation was about to take a heated turn. 

"You're involved!?" His voice was sharp, laced with disbelief and a hint of anger. "How could you let this happen, Y/N? Do you have any idea what kind of mess you've gotten yourself into?" His words hit you like a slap in the face, and you felt a surge of anger rising within you.  

"I didn't 'let' anything happen," you shot back, your own voice rising with frustration. "This isn't something I planned or wanted. And as for the mess, believe me, I'm well aware of it." There was a tense pause on the other end of the line, the silence filled with unspoken accusations and bitter recriminations. You could practically feel your boss's disappointment radiating through the phone, a heavy weight pressing down on you with each passing second. 

"We need to contain this," he said finally, his tone clipped and businesslike. "Handle the damage control on our end, write a press release. Stay out of the public eye, keep your head down, and for god's sake, don't make things worse." You clenched your jaw, struggling to keep your emotions in check as you listened to his instructions.  

"And what about Seonghwa?" you demanded, unable to suppress the edge of desperation in your voice. There was another pause, longer this time, as your boss considered his response.  

"Seonghwa knew what he was getting into when he chose this life," he said finally, his voice oddly cold and unsympathetic. "He's a public figure, and he needs to accept the consequences of his actions. Just like you do." The words hung between you, a bitter reminder of the harsh reality you were both facing. As you hung up the phone, a sense of resignation settled over you, knowing that no matter how much you wanted to protect Seonghwa, there were forces at play far beyond your control. Seonghwa, who had been a silent witness to your conversation, finally broke his silence. His sobs filled the room, each one stabbing you like a knife to the heart. You turned to him, your eyes filled with regret and sorrow.  

"I was supposed to be the one protecting you," you said, your voice choked with tears. You could see the pain in his eyes, reflecting your own as you confessed, "This was a mistake. I'm going to get fired, Seonghwa. There's no future for us." His face crumpled at your words, a look of utter devastation replacing his earlier confusion. 

"No, Y/N, please..." he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "I can't lose you." he retorted, his voice filled with a mixture of anger and despair. His words hit you like a punch to the gut. As the silence settled in the room, you felt a lump forming in your throat. The harsh reality of the situation was too overwhelming to comprehend. The words that had been exchanged between you two still echoed in your ears, haunting you. The room, once filled with love and warmth, now felt cold and distant. The air was heavy with unspoken words and suppressed emotions. Seonghwa, his eyes red and swollen from crying, looked at you. His usual cheerful demeanor was now replaced with a look of sadness and despair. He seemed like a completely different person. Seeing him like this broke your heart even more, the reality of the situation dawning on you. 

"I... I need some time," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He got up from the bed, picked up his clothes from the floor and walked towards the bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You sat there, numb and silent, as you processed everything that had happened. You felt a sense of guilt wash over you, realizing that your actions had led to this mess. Picking up your phone, you answered the incoming call from one of the reporters.  

"This is a delicate matter, and we are currently fact-checking all the information," you replied, maintaining a professional tone. "We will be releasing an official press statement soon regarding the matter. Thank you for your understanding." 

For the next several minutes, you found yourself answering a seemingly endless stream of phone calls, bombarded with the same questions over and over again. "Who is this girl?" "Is it really Seonghwa?" "Is it official?" With each call, your heart ached a little more, the reality of the situation sinking in. You were the reason behind this mess, and with each question, the weight of your actions became increasingly clear. Seonghwa finally emerged from the bathroom, he was fully dressed, his hair neatly combed back, and his face, although still showing signs of distress, was more composed. He settled down next to you, the distance between you heavy with unspoken tension. You could feel his gaze burning into you, his eyes searching for answers in the depths of your own. But as he heard you denying what happened during countless phone calls, a flicker of hurt flashed across his features, overshadowing the mask of composure he had worn moments before. 

"Y/N," he began, his voice tinged with a mixture of frustration and disappointment. "Why are you doing this? We can't keep pretending like nothing happened." His words cut through the silence like a knife, leaving you speechless in their wake. You could feel the weight of his gaze bearing down on you, demanding honesty in the face of your denial. But as you met his eyes, you saw the pain reflected in their depths, and a pang of guilt surged through you. You had hurt him deeply with your words, and now, as you continued to deny the truth, you were only adding to his anguish. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you turned away, unable to meet Seonghwa’s gaze any longer. In that moment, you felt more alone than ever, trapped in a web of lies and deceit from which there seemed to be no escape.  

Once the calls ended, with a heavy heart, you began to draft a press release denying the rumors. As you typed, your mind raced with thoughts of how to properly word your denial, how to ensure that it would put an end to the rampant speculation. Seonghwa, who had been observing silently, finally spoke up, his tone filled with discontent. "Why are you denying it?" he asked, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and frustration. 

"Seonghwa, we have to," you tried explaining,  

"No, we don't," he retorted, his voice steady and determined. "We don't have to lie. We don't have to hide." 

"Seonghwa, we can't just admit to this. The backlash... it could ruin your career," you argued, your voice tinged with desperation. 

"And what? We lie? We hide?" Seonghwa countered, his voice filled with frustration.  

"We need to think about the consequences. The fans, the company... it's not just us we have to consider." you countered, trying to maintain your composure. 

"I don't care about that," he said, his voice softening. "I care about you. I care about us. I don't want to lie about that." 

"But this isn't just about us. There are other people involved. Our actions have consequences." you responded, your voice breaking slightly. 

"I know that" he said, his tone resolute. "But isn't our relationship worth fighting for?" he asked, his voice filled with concern. As the weight of your situation bore down, you felt the sting of desperation clawing at your heart, driving you to speak words you knew would hurt Seonghwa deeply. 

"What relationship are you even talking about, Seonghwa? We hadn't even had a 'what-are-we' talk, and everything is ruined," you spat out, your voice laced with bitterness and regret. "We kissed less than 24 hours ago, and now we're all over the news." The words spilled out of you like poison, each one laced with the bitter taste of reality. You could see the pain flicker across Seonghwa's face, his eyes clouding with hurt and confusion. But you couldn't stop yourself, couldn't hold back the flood of emotions threatening to consume you. "We need to protect you," you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. "There's no 'us' in this, Seonghwa. It's just you, and your career, and the future you've worked so hard for. I won't let you throw it all away for me." Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you turned away, unable to bear the weight of Seonghwa's gaze any longer. In that moment, you knew that you had hurt him deeply, but you couldn't bring yourself to regret those words. For better or worse, they were the truth, the raw, unfiltered truth that lay at the heart of your impossible situation. 

"You don't get to decide that" Seonghwa replied, his voice steady despite the turmoil beneath his calm exterior. "You don't get to decide what I throw away or keep. It's my life, my career, my future. And you... you're a part of that, whether you like it or not." His words hung heavy in the air, an undeniable truth that weighed down on your heart. "We're in this together, and I'm not letting you walk away just because you're scared. So, let's face this together. Let's fight for 'us', for our future. Because, in my eyes, there's no 'me' without 'us'." You stared at him, your heart pounding. His words echoed in your mind, raw and powerful. The intensity in his gaze was almost too much to bear. Could you really fight for this? For him? Suddenly, the weight of your decision seemed more significant, more daunting. 

"I... I don't know, Seonghwa," you stuttered, your voice barely a whisper. "I don't know if I can do this. If I can put you at risk like that." 

But Seonghwa just shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "That's not for you to decide," he countered gently. "I'm ready to face whatever comes our way. And I want you by my side. So, will you fight with me?" 

#ateez x reader #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x y/n #seonghwa smut #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff

[otdiaftg]

WHAT'S NEXT:

The out pouring of love for this blog has swept me off my feet. I knew the logic behind the follower count, but this weekend proved to me without a shadow of a doubt just how much this fandom cherishes these characters and this story.

I am overwhelmed with adoration towards every. single. one. of you.

I took the weekend to finally recoup after the whirlwind of this past year but wanted to take a moment now to answer some of the questions I've seen pop up and to inform you all of what my plans are for what's next.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

WILL YOU CONTINUE THE ACCOUNT THIS YEAR?

This took me a long time to ponder and I wanted to make sure I was in the correct headspace to answer it. Short answer: No.

Long answer: All For The Game is near and dear to my heart. And the reason I began this account was because the dates for 2023 matched that of the dates they were meant to be in 2006. To continue it in the year 2024 would mean the dates would be completely wrong and a lot more logistics would have to occur beforehand.

But also-- I'm not the best when it comes to technology, especially when it comes to BOTS so every post that was published was typed out, formatted and scheduled by hand by me. I did not have help. I did not have proofreaders, or editors, or managers. I contacted all the artists myself, sorted through every single page of the artists to find matches to the story, read and re-read the books for exact or guesstimation of dates/times, and made a hell of a lot of typos on the way through all that.

There was probably an easier way that I could have done all this. But I didn't/don't know it. So that all boils down to: It’s a long and tiring process.

Don't get me wrong, it was worth all the hours. And all the sleepless nights I had getting everything done and out. I already thanked my support network, but without my wife and my best friend being there to make me another cup of coffee, walk our dog, do the chores and generally make sure I didn't crumble from the pressure -- none of this would have happened.

So, putting myself through that again, after everything that has happened this year alone-- felt like it would cheapen the experience I had when the dates won't even match.

That being said.... 2034 isn't that far away. >__>

WILL YOU BE DOING AN OTDITSC?

Short answer: No.... sorry.

Long answer: As stated, it is VERY hard to organize what and how I did. HOURS spent researching, organizing, scheduling, etc. Time spent away from my family and other hobbies. NOT time I regret (need to keep prefacing that) but time I want back now. At least for a little bit.

It also doesn't sit right for me to start an OTDITSC when I know some people are still waiting for their copies. There are so many of us out here (as I've come to find out) and I don't want to exclude people's enjoyment and connection that this account gives. I also feel like the more posts about TSC out there, the harder it is for those who are (lets say) waiting for the physical copies to block/mute spoilers. We can say a tag is enough, but this is the internet. And that's not always true.

And lastly, personally, TSC is still SO VERY NEW. It's not even complete yet and we don't 100% know when the next one will be published. I don't want to start something, get to the end of the timeline, and than have a huge gap between posts that will potentially be moments in the second book. It doesn't feel fair to their story, to myself, or to the followers of this account to have incorrect information for something I love so dearly. If I'm doing it. I want to do it right.

SO, WHAT'S NEXT?

Well. A lot. For me personally, as well as this account. I don't want to leave everyone in such a finite way. I love this fandom. I love its art and writings and the abundance of talent and joy that it exudes.

So first, for myself, as well as those artists who agreed to help with this account, I want to post, for the next 40 days Artist Highlights (that means this account will still be active until Friday, May 24th).

Every day, I will post about an Artist and the work that I wanted to post but couldn't fit in. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, these artists are the reason this account thrives. Art, in a multitude of forms, speaks in a way words can not. And these artists prove that.

I'm excited to show them off for a couple more weeks at least. They are all wonderful people.

AND, FINALLY:

To also tie us over, I am opening both my personal account as well as this account to questions.

Questions regarding the process, the story, the best movie out in theaters, whatever. I will be answering your questions (as fast as I can) until that last Artists Highlight day (Friday, May 24th). After this day, I will leave the questions answered up for a week, and then remove/delete them from this account. I want to make this more of an archive of sorts and will be updating the Timeline Page as this progresses as well, so you can move freely within the timeline.

Keep in mind that I am only one person, have a family and a full-time job-- so answers may be sporadic, but I will answer them.

This has truly been such a pleasure. And whether I get questions or not, I see you and I appreciate you. I hope your life is filled with everything you ever want, everything you need, and that you never let it go.

🦊 🧡- Kelysium

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #tkm #the kings men #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #palmetto state university #psu foxes #andreil #on this day in aftg #otdiaftg #palmetto state foxes #otdi all for the game #nora sakavic #the foxes #on this day in all for the game

[cripplecharacters]

Hi there!

I'm working on a character for a story I'm writing, where all the people have wings. The main character is a burn survivor, and it rendered her left wing useless when it came to flying. However, I wanted to have her get a kind of reconstruction surgery or a wing prosthetic to help her fly again. I've read a number of your posts, so I'm considering reworking this, but I wanted to know your perspective on it.

Also, if you can, do you have any resources on burn survivors and daily burn scar care?

Thanks!

Hi!

I think that you have a couple options when it comes to making her fly again!

Making her able to fly the same as before could be disability erasure somewhat, so I would warn against that. But that doesn't mean she can't fly at all!

If you decide to make her fly again;

It will take time. She shouldn't be able to relearn mobility in a week. Show it as a slow, time-consuming process. Depending on the exact injury it could be months or years.

Include physical therapy! Potentially other types as well, like occupational therapy. If it's a society where everyone has wings, I'm sure there would be specialists for this kind of stuff like we have for legs.

Recovery takes a lot of effort. It shouldn't come to her too easily. A lot of it is pain and fatigue and taking breaks to recover from recovering.

She might not be able to fly the exact same as before, even if you go with the above. You can have her fly shorter distances, have pain while doing it, or be fully unable to do it on some days.

When she does start to fly again, she could end up damaging her other wing via an overuse injury (her damaged wing wouldn't be able to keep up for at least a while). Recovery is a very non-linear process, and she could be coming back to physical therapy for new problems even after she relearns flying. That is a part of life for a lot of disabled people, for example manual wheelchair users having to do PT for shoulder strain injuries caused by pushing the wheelchair.

This way you can show the recovery process without erasing her disability at the end! Some disabled people do get better, but the point is to not make it a Magic Surgery that just fixes everything because that's not how it works most of the time. Sometimes it even opens up the doors to new problems - remember that both prosthetics and especially surgeries have very real complications.

For burn care, I recommend this post I made!

I hope this helps!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiily #burn survivor representation #fantasy disabilities #fantasy species #acquired disability #cure trope

[vex91]

pyramid game characters reacting to you being jealous I feel like I've sent smt like this b4 but I don't rmb😭

-🎀

I love writing jealousy stuff <3

Suji doesn't necessarily gets jealous tbh but she has her moments. She's a type that trusts you but doesn't trust other people with you kinda person and you're the same so she never experienced your jealous side. That's why she was so surprised when she finally experienced it. Honestly she would watch you with a small smile, finding it really funny. Later she would tease you a little about it.

One of Harin's favorite things about you is how different you are from her. You were just so lovely and kind and so pure in her eyes that she just couldn't help loving that so when she saw how jealous you got over Doah and how different you acted, she was surprised. She was surprised how much she liked your colder side, more aggressive side. Definitely gonna make you jealous on purpose just to tease you later.

Jaeun is not used to any kind of jealous from her side or yours. You two are just peacefully happy with each other and that's all that you both need. That's why she was so confused when you got jealous over Suji, she never expected that. Immediately tries to clear every misunderstandings up with you, not wanting anything to leave a scar on your relationship. In conclusion doesn't like getting jealous or you getting jealous.

It may seem like Yerim loves you being jealous but it's quite the opposite actually. At first it boosts her ego but doesn't like your jealousy lasting too long, much preferring your relationship going as it always does without it. She especially hates it when you get jealous over Eunjung or her other friends since friendship is really important to her and she hates when two things most important to her clash.

Honestly no amount of your jealousy can beat Jaehyung when she's jealous like let's get that out of the way first and because of that she never minds it, as long as it's not too big and not too unreasonable then she doesn't mind, even finds you cute like that. Will 100% make you jealous on purpose as she's a little shit. Will also tease you because of it.

Eunjung is the jealous one in your relationship, that's why seeing you jealous over Yerim surprised her a lot. She never saw you jealous before and she would lie if she said she didn't like it, she actually liked it too much. Made her feel really loved an desired. She will stop you if the jealousy seemed a little too much though.

Seeing you jealous like that will mess with Doah's head in a lot of different ways because why did she kinda liked it? Why did her heart beat like that when she saw you so possessive? Over Harin too? Will still scold you though because even if she liked it a little she still didn't wanted you to be jealous as she saw it as something that could potentially ruin a relationship if gone too far and she was not losing you over something like that 😤

We all can agree that seeing you jealous for the first time was a big thing for Dayeon and she became obsessed. Like seeing you so worked up at the thought of someone stealing her from you? Makes her feel so loved and so powerful 😭 Will make you jealous on purpose all the time just to make fun of you later (Will comfort you if she goes too far though)

Wooyi is also obsessed with you being jealous. Will brag to everyone about how scary her gf is when she's jealous as if she wasn't even more of a maniac when she sees another girl next to you 😭 Won't make you jealous on purpose though but will enjoy seeing you jealous.

#vex answers #🎀 anon #pyramid game x reader #pyramid game reactions #sung suji x reader #baek harin x reader #myung jaeun x reader #im yerim x reader #song jaehyung x reader #sim eunjung x reader #seo doah x reader #kim dayeon x reader #bang wooyi x reader #sung suji #baek harin #myung jaeun #im yerim #song jaehyung #sim eunjung #seo doah #kim dayeon #bang wooyi #sung suji thoughts #baek harin thoughts #myung jaeun thoughts #im yerim thoughts #song jaehyung thoughts #sim eunjung thoughts #seo doah thoughts #kim dayeon thoughts

[kiennjio]

An Shiraishi and her feelings

So, the Singing in Sync event was how An realised she didn't view Kohane as her equal so she got too protective of her and tried to shield her from mistakes which ended up disrupting their dynamics early on, but what if those feelings weren't An thinking she was more superior than Kohane, but her starting to realise that Kohane had a lot more hidden potential than she originally thought? Which resulted her in being afraid that she'll get left behind and be alone again once Kohane truly blossoms, so to prevent that from happening she subconsciously started stepping in to "help" Kohane and stop her from learning and thus growing and progressing in her skills? Yet she and everyone else mistakenly thought it was An not truly thinking of Kohane as her partner as no one knew at that time that An has anxiety and insecurity issues as she was always so confident especially in her singing.

In that sense An's anxiety and feelings of insecurity had actually appeared way before Bout for Beside You and mainly stemmed from An's environment growing up in Vivid Street and Nagi, both of which were explained in further detail in Vivid Old Tale. All her life, An has been praised and noticed for simply being Ken's daughter and all of them compared An to Nagi, which made An want to become even more like Nagi since it made people happy (and that's what she wanted right?). To the point that An actively tries to imitate Nagi to the best of her abilities ― her mannerisms, personality, and singing style ― which ultimately led her to where she is now, struggling to find her own sound because she had forgotten that she wasn't Nagi, and that means that her singing style would be different from hers. An's feelings of frustration, helplessness, everything, are what will truly make her stand out because her experiences are what makes her so unique, and to fully utilize that potential she has to sing with those feelings, like she did in Resonant Town (which Shiho picked up on). Hopefully Whip the Wimp Girl will show An finally embracing her own singing style and breaking away from Nagi's shadow, because thats the only way she can surpass rad weekend in my opinion.

As for An's and Kohane's relationship, it's actually still quite unstable although they have been partners for about a year already. They haven't seemed to form complete trust between them, which makes sense since they didn't get much of a chance to work together as a pair before forming VBS unlike Akito and Touya. Considering An thinks that her entire identity is 'being Nagi', she would definitely feel like it was being ripped from her after Kick it Up a Notch when Kohane was almost good enough to reach Nagi's level. If she wasn't Nagi, then who was she? An feeling lost and as if she didn't belong in VBS (since RADder had Nagi, Ken and Taiga which she thinks of as Kohane, Touya and Akito) is a given. An definitely doesn't want to feel jealous of and inferior to Kohane, and is probably guilty that she feels that way at all, since they were supposed to be partners and not rivals. Facing it head on may be the only way An will realise that Kohane wasn't going to leave her just because of that and start forming that unbreakable bond of trust between them.

#an shiraishi #kohane azusawa #vivid bad squad #project sekai #prsk #pjsk #colorful stage #nagi #anhane #im super excited for whip the wimp girl in case you couldn't tell #vbs #vbs an #vbs kohane #analysis

[starsreminisce]

who do you think could be Elain's potential friends in the future books?

Hard to say because that's a part of SJM's writing where literally anything can happen, but my theory is that since this story is going to take a lot of pages from ACOMAF, there is a chance that we'd see other characters play similar roles as the Inner Circle did for Feyre while Elain processes her mating bond with Lucien.

Mor, I feel strongly, will play a huge part in it. Azriel has Great Gatsby'd her for 500 years, and we see that he was about to shift that focus to Elain. She's always been protective of Elain, and we do see her earnestly try to be friends with Feyre's sisters (say what you want about ACOSF, but at the end of the day, Mor was the one who taught Cassian how to dance to surprise Nesta, and Mor brought Nesta to Emerie no questions after her fight with Cassian and convinced Gwyn to leave the library so she could be there as well). I like to think that Elain will stand up for herself to Azriel after how he has coddled her, and that it'll spark something in Mor to finally speak up as well. Mor has shown to be very perceptive of Azriel's moods and acts with that in mind, so I would hope that seeing Elain would prompt her to do the same. Since Mor has been an Elucien shipper since day one by bringing Lucien to the townhouse, I think there will be a lot of self-reflection these two can offer each other. Mor helped Feyre recognize that being Rhys's mate wasn't that bad, and I can see her asking the same of Elain about Lucien.

Vassa would likely play the role of Amren. I mean, both of them turned into something else that acts as a trump card with a promise of being turned back, and they both exhibit a take-no-crap attitude that offers self-confidence while exhibiting tough love. Amren's motives have been pulled back, leading people to theorize that she's the betrayer, and I see Vassa doing the same thing.

Jurian will play the role of Azriel, where a lot of his history and background is kept vague but traumatic, serving as a basis for his character with a unique sort of relationship with Mor while he looks at a female longingly but doesn't want to make a move until he's sure it'll happen. Feyre had always shown some sort of apprehensiveness towards Azriel. Honestly, considering how much Feyre thought about Azriel's hands, I wonder if Elain would keep wondering how Jurian lived all those centuries as an eye.

Tamlin, funny enough, will play the role of Cassian, but their dynamic would be switched up. Cassian helped Feyre process a lot of her feelings through action, and I think Elain would be instrumental in bringing Tamlin back to the High Lord he was. Elain possesses understanding, and she has benefited the most from Tamlin's generosity when he took Feyre away, so I hope she can bring that perspective to him, especially when Tamlin shows he reveres humans and Papa Archie is a testament to that resilience. I also think that we will see more insight into his parents' bond and offer reflection for Elain, since theirs was also considered ill-matched.

Eris would probably act more like Tarquin, and Elain can see what Eris is trying to do for the sake of his court. Nuan can be like Cresseida if she and Lucien are as close as they are.

And, though not strictly ACOMAF, I do see a mirroring of Elain getting closer to Helion and LoA as Lucien did to Papa Archeron. Helion could provide Elain with insight into how a rejected male feels, bringing an understanding of what Lucien will go through if she were to reject the bond, as LoA on how she navigates through it.

That's my initial thoughts, but like I said, friendships are important to SJM's characters. Emerie was introduced in ACOSAF, and Gwyn a book later, so we might get some fresh characters as well.

#elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #morrigan acotar #pro morrigan #asks

[pinkestmenace]

WOOOO! Done just in time! @kirbyoctournament

Name: Olympea, the Pummeling Peacekeeper

Gender: She-himbo, She/Her

Age: Never ask a woman her age! (She's an adult.)

Occupation: Warrior/Hero of Yore

Species: Puffball/Starborn/Star Child/whatever the Kirby species is called.

Uh-oh, due to a temporal anomaly the Hero of Yore Olympea suddenly finds herself transported alive and well from Ancient Halcandra to the Kirby OC tournament! She doesn't know what's going on, but she'll roll with the punches and treat it like a fun dream vacation of sorts. She does like meeting all sorts of new people and trying new foods, weapons and technology. She'll have so many stories to tell her friends when she returns! It's probably for the best if she doesn't learn what disaster befell the four heroes in the regular timeline, though...

Some ground rules, just in case:

I would love seeing people's OC's interact with her! Asking Olympea questions is okay, but this is not an ask blog/rp blog and I'm not looking for extended roleplay. I may not answer your question. If I see potential for an interesting interaction I may draw it, but I can't promise anything. (Keep in mind if I don't respond right away -> 1: I'm timid and get anxious easily. 2: I may not have figured out that part of her story/the history of Ancient Halcandra yet. 3: The answer would have contained a spoiler for my fics. 4: I'm very slow at drawing.)

I'm joining this tournament for fun, so thank you for understanding!

Overview:

While she's not very big, intellectual or attuned to magic, she is unbeatably chipper and physically strong. She loves fighting and gleefully uses a variety of lovely accessories/weapons like a giant club, enchanted glaive, magitech gauntlets, etc. Her left glove allows her to access a dimensional storage. Teases hard, punches even harder. Actually quite feminine when off the clock. Loves magitech gadgets a lot. Doesn't think science or magic is better, because their society needs both. She's definitely not insecure about her height. She'd also never conjure a giant squeaky hammer to bop you over the head if you call her short.

Likes: Vegetables, Nectar, Trying new foods, The colour green, Flowers, Butterflies and moths, Pretty/cool/badass women, Her club, Brass knuckles, Tinkering, New gadgets, Teasing her friends, Seeing a certain winged magenta knight open up and feel genuine joy

Dislikes: Being mistaken for a child, Being called stupid, Stuck-up people, Seeing her friends being hurt, Strangers flicking her antennae, How much dust and scales her wings leave behind

Abilities: Able to fly. Very physically strong. Innately has access to Suplex and Hammer, but mainly uses her trusty club. Her boots and gauntlets let her emulate elements of Hi-jump, Laser and Mecha. (The boosted jump, laser finger guns and palm blasts, respectively.)

Weaknesses: Can't fly quickly. Stubby little arms limit her great strength with little reach. Distractable and a little naive. Can't resist eating strange and exotic snacks no matter the source. Seeing cute girls (she HAS to show off).

Fighting Style:

Her gauntlets are good for punching and the palms can release blasts of energy as well. They're mainly so she can hold large weapons well, since her actual hands aren't very big.

Her moth wings aren't very big either, so while she can normally fly and can still break her fall when she's armoured, she prefers to zip around close to the ground. It's often faster and easier to run and jump when she's fighting. Especially when she's wielding her heavy club. Her boots help her boost and maneuver quickly.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that because she prefers close range combat and isn't proficient with magic she can't attack at a distance. Her gauntlets possess finger laser guns and she can use her left glove (which she also wears under her gauntlet) to access her weapon hoard at all times. Who knows what else she keeps in there?

Even her civilian outfit isn't harmless. She still has access to her innate Suplex and Hammer abilities, after all. And those shoes have steel toes! Of course, the platform heels are just to keep her delicate wings from scraping across the ground when folded. No other reasons. (Like being taller.)

Design Thoughts:

Olympea is the first of the Heroes of Yore who came to me. I was thinking about how to describe the Heroes of Yore and knew I wanted at least one to be a woman. Suddenly her name resounded through my head! Then I just started associating. Olympea sounds like Olympics, so she must be strong. Pea calls to mind small, round and green, so what if she's (mostly) the same species as Galacta Knight? Peas are famous for research on genetics and alleles, so what if she was born, not formed like him? Maybe she doesn't have a lot of magical affinity. Then she needs weapons. Pea, peace, pea shooters, peas in a pod, peacemaker, pea-smacker. Let's give her a hammer, no, a club! She's strong, so what if she packs a punch? How about some gauntlets for punching? She can have a gun, wait, let's put the gun (pea shooter!) in her gauntlet's finger! She needs storage for her weapon hoard (girl needs to accessorise!) so what if her enchanted gauntlets let her access dimensional storage (peas in a pod)? Hmmm, does she have wings? There's a bug called a pea moth, so she has moth wings now. Her ponytail is twisted like a dried pea pod and not-so-coincidentally looks a bit like a cocoon when down and a boxing glove while up in a bun.

I maaay have gone completely overboard with the whole pea thing, but such is life. Although there is a bit of Hammer Lord in there as well. She doesn't hate magic, she just doesn't have a lot of affinity for it. She does enjoy tinkering and building weapons. This is how she ended up relying mostly on technology instead of magic.

She's not a knight and has no mask, because while many people depict all adult puffballs as masked knights (probably influenced by the Star Warriors from the K:RBAY anime) I personally don't think this has to be universal for their kind. How sad it would be if all they were destined for was fighting! ...And then I made her a warrior anyway. Oh well.

#Joining fashionably late but I'm giving this a shot #kirby oc tournament #Olympea's Quest #HoY Olympea #Olympea #The heroes of yore #kirby oc #ibispaint #my drawing #my art #long post

[starzgaze]

LOVESICK POTENTIAL: sung jinwoo

pairing: yandere!sjw/reader

UNFINISHED incoherent drabble brainrot on yandere!sjw hahaha... this is so unfinished but it fried my brain so badly all i can do is draw this out later because i cant write for long periods of time 😒 also english isn't my first language so this is really ERRR not good also no proofreading we die raw

tw: froth and nothing much

BEFORE THE DUNGEON EVENT:

This era of jinwoo was so cute he looked so squishy I'm biting my bedsheets. This time is the perfect moment where jinwoo gets his reasons on why he's a little cuckoo over [y.name].

Jinwoo always came home covered in bruises and maybe with a dent in his mental health. I mean not only you face life threatening monsters but you also face the words of your fellow hunters that consists of demeaning and degrading your whole existence does horriblewonders to Jinwoo's mental health! After when his mother came out of the picture by falling ill to the Eternal Slumber, Jinwoo had to face the expectations on becoming the breadwinner and help to keep his family a float.

Jinwoo doesn't have ambitions or anything during this time, not when he's too focused on trying to feed Jinah and pay the bills. He's a blank pitiful slate who's being driven by desperation and the promise he made to his mother to take care of his sister. He doesn't have anyone to turn to and he can't tell what he's experiencing to his sister because that'll make her worry for him! Jinwoo doesn't want his sister to flunk her studies because he made her worry for him... so he's basically alone.

Until you come in to the picture. [y.name] one of the few people who saw him as a person instead of some weak pitiful excuse of a hunter. It doesn't really matter how you meet Jinwoo, whether it be through connections, after a dungeon raid, or you randomly meeting him on the street, what matters is how you perceive him as a person and how you turn his miserable world upside down.

When [y.name] entered his life, it felt like a ball of light entered his dim world but not as if [y.name] was extremely energetic or what not. It was more like that [y.name] ignited something within Jinwoo. [y.name] would stop by and talk to Jinwoo, solidifying his self as a person. They would talk about ideals and goals and even encourage Jinwoo to maybe create his own when they found out that he didn't had any of his own. Jinwoo felt so warm inside whenever he'd spent time with [y.name]. He felt so inexplicably happy.

Jinwoo decided that [y.name] is his goal and the driving force of his ambitions.

Jinwoo limped a bit as he walked towards his small apartment he shared with his sister. It was what remained when his mother was sent to the hospital for falling ill. He groaned silently as he clenched his arm that was throbbing in pain. Even after being recently healed by Joohee, he could still feel the pain of his arm being battered to smithereens.

He wondered how many dungeon raids left till he'll perish by the hands of some low ranking monster.

The young man approached his door before suddenly being called out by a familiar voice. Jinwoo turned around and his bleak mood was changed into a more joyful one.

"Jinwoo! I caught 'ya this time!" [y.name] giggled as they skipped over to Jinwoo, a small mischievous smile plastered on their features. Jinwoo chuckled at [y.name]'s words as he admired [y.name]. He wondered what did he do in his life to meet [y.name]

Jinwoo hoped that the next dungeon raid isn't the one where he'll perish by the hands of a monster.

AFTER THE DUNGEON EVENT:

Jinwoo would probably avoid contacting [y.name]. After realizing he has a new opportunity to get stronger. His mental health before wasn't the best, he often thought he was pulling [y.name] back and has this mindset that he didn't deserve any of the kindness he was receiving from anyone especially from [y.name]

But now? he has now the chance to pay them all back by becoming stronger and become someone they can all rely on. So randomly... he'll just disappear from [y.name]'s life randomly. Jinwoo feels horrible but he isn't ready to face [y.name] again but he promises to himself that he'll meet his darling[y.name] soon.

Jinwoo would admire [y.name] from afar and sometimes do this just for the sake of answering to his personal question of: "I wonder how are they doing now?". Jinwoo is aware how much it hurts to [y.name] that he randomly disappeared from their life without a word especially how worried they were for him.

When Jinwoo finally deems he's prepared and worthy enough to face [y.name] he almost forgotten how different he looked when he last met [y.name]. Jinwoo almost scared [y.name] away when a devilishly handsome tall young man approached them with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Thankfully, [y.name] recognized the man from the slightly meek demeanor he showed.

Maybe after a few more meetups and catch ups, [y.name] would notice the many changes on Jinwoo's overall.. being? like aside from the fact he's now built like a sculpture made by the gods, he's more confident and charming?.. Jinwoo of course didn't miss the way how [y.name] would quiet down and stare at Jinwoo, taking note every little different detail on Jinwoo. This fed the hunter's ego and was proud how his hardwork paid off.

While [y.name] was admiring Jinwoo, they didn't notice how Jinwoo added a few of his shadows into [y.name]'s shadow. His love for [y.name] during their absence has doubled a thousand fold and the lengths he'd go for [y.name] is now boundless. Jinwoo's goal of achieving [y.name] might not be impossible anymore if he pushed himself a bit more just like what [y.name] says.

After meeting up with Jinwoo, [y.name] bid the hunter goodbye as they exited the cafe. [y.name] was pleasantly joyful that Jinwoo didn't forgotten about them and met up with them again after a few years but this still didn't made [y.name] pissed off over the fact he basically ghosted them for a few years too!

[y.name] walked down the cold street that was dimly lit up by the lamp posts around the area. They shivered a bit as they tried to warm up their hands by shoving one of them in their trenchcoat's pocket. [y.name] was on their phone when they suddenly bumped into a man by accident.

"ow.. oh? I'm sorry I didn't notice you there I'm really sorr—" [y.name] stammered out as they bowed their head in apology but then they felt a hand pushing them hard enough to be stumble back into a lamp pole, hitting their back pretty hard. The man reached out to [y.name]'s trenchcoat's pocket and pulling out their purse then he ran away with their purse in hand.

"agh! what the- my purse?!" [y.name] yelled as they rubbed their back to ease the throbbing pain as they tried to run after the robber.

Unfortunately for [y.name] he was fast on his feet and after for a while they lost him. [y.name] panted as they decided to not give up yet and looked around the now lightless and eerie street, it seems like the robber ran into a more abandoned side of the city.

[y.name] roamed around the street and would peak occasionally inside of alleyways hoping to catch the man but much to their dismay, they haven't seen any glimpses or hints. They mindlessly walked around, slowly losing hope until they heard a quick shriek then a hard thump from a nearby alleyway. A cold sweat went down their neck as they froze in place... Did something happen?

[y.name]'s eyes narrowed down on the alleyway where they assumed the sound originated from. They contemplated for a bit whether they should check it out before they decided to see what it was, clinging on the possibility it might be their purse. [y.name] slowly peeked their head in the alleyway and immediately gasped at the sight.

The man who stole their purse on floor, wriggling in pain before a dark figure. Froth was coming out of his mouth as dark inky shadows circled around his throat. His ankles looked twisted but in a very unnatural degree that it looked grotesque.[y.name]'s eyes shakily looked at the soon to be a corpse then up to the figure who was holding their purse. They blinked blankly at the figure.. [y.name] recognized him?!

"Jin..woo?..." [y.name] murmured underneath their breath as the figure looked up to see [y.name] who was pretty shaken up. The light finally hits the figure's and it revealed it was indeed Jinwoo... but he had this soulless glint in his eyes that suddenly brighten up at the sight of [y.name]

"ah. [y.name]" He called out as he walked past the struggling man and approached [y.name] who took a step back away from Jinwoo. This made his heart wrench.

"don't. don't move away. it's dangerous at this time, you shouldn't be alone" Jinwoo continued as he was finally in front of a terrified [y.name]

"you shouldve accepted my offer walking you home"

#starz.babblez #solo leveling sung jin woo #solo leveling #sung jin woo #sung jinwoo #sjw #solo leveling x reader #sung jinwoo x reader #sjw x reader #yandere sung jinwoo #yandere sung jin woo #yandere solo leveling #drabble #I'd do a more messed up concept its just.... i cant write.... i can draw it tho 😈 #also feed me too with yandere sjw pls pls pls #this is my contribution to the yandere tag #yandere

[seafoamreadings]

week of april 28th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: mars into your sign at last is likely to renew your energy and power. pluto heading retrograde may disrupt your social life, so even if you feel like a nuclear-powered battery keeps you going in that arena, it may be wisest to tone down the socializing and let things blow over a bit.

taurus: so many things end up just where they're supposed to be this week. mercury settling into direct motion, mars into its domicile aries in your 12th house, and venus at home in your sign too. you may feel energetic or simply hotheaded, but you know how to have a good time, so do it.

gemini: the academic geminis among you may have some sort of philosophical disruption or bureaucratic struggle to overcome this week. it is easy to get lost in frivolous things when they are large in number and every day, but don't let them overpower what really matters to you at the core.

cancerians: this long cardinal period does not let you rest yet. mars moves into aries and then your ruler the moon does too. in some ways you will feel like you've been transmogrified into an aries yourself. think before you act, but don't shut down the whole operation if you're really in the right.

leo: pluto of course is these days haunting your 7th house of partnership. this week he heads backwards in the first couple of degrees of aquarius for a little added upheaval until he straightens out his retrograde motion, so hold on to your hats.

virgo: mars heads from your seventh house into your eighth house. this is rather like a honeymoon phase wearing off, and a push to pool resources. but that push is impulsive and perhaps purely external. forget what they say about sharing is caring - you can if you want to but make sure you actually want to.

libra: your relationships take an emotional turn this week in more ways than one. there is an impulsive and urgent desire, lust even. then there is that need for nourishment. try to meet all your needs, but place nourishment first. this desire comes likely a bit later in the week than the impulses. but real intimacy - in the sense of vulnerable closeness - is what is going to feed you best.

scorpio: venus into taurus brings a lot of potential pleasure to relationships and deep partnership. if those things aren't part of your focus right now consider at least spending some time thinking about it! meanwhile mars in aries has an affinity with you that can give you a good boost in day to day energy.

sagittarius: mars into aries means fun for you. get creative, go on dates if that's your thing, spend time with children if you get along with them! whatever brings you bliss. meanwhile venus in taurus is really good for your day to day well being, especially if you are using this time to sleep well, eat good, and stop to smell the roses.

capricorn: you're known for being the hardest worker of the zodiac, and in your darkest moments perhaps a bit of a miser. but allow venus in taurus to be fun rather than forcing yourself to keep your nose to the grindstone. and if you can, make active changes to your home as well, wherever repairs are needed or a little life could stand to be injected.

aquarius: power struggles involving the home and/or family of origin are fairly likely this week. these are best worked with and worked through, not avoided or detoured. one way to help this go smoothly is to make a safe and pleasant home for yourself; if you cannot alter the building you are in or the people you are around, make this spiritually within.

pisces: i feel like i've been issuing you a lot of warnings lately to take care of your money diligently but this week is no exception. on the bright side, venus in taurus is very powerful for your social life in your local community, so don't stay at home too much unless you really need the recharging. such neighborhood involvement will go surprisingly far behind the scenes in your spirtual development and in fact a church or a coven type of group, or even a support group, would be highly auspicious, according to your personal style.

#weekly horoscopes #weekly horoscope #horoscopes #horoscope #astrology #signs #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquaiurs #pisces

[childofthewolvess]

My experience with spiritual psychosis as a practicing pagan and how to recognize the signs of a psychotic episode in contemporary witchcraft practices.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of S/H, schizophrenic behaviors, psychosis, religious manipulation.

Buckle up, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.

A DEFINITION OF SPIRITUAL PSYCHOSIS - "Religious-spiritual crises include distress associated with the weakening or loss of faith, turbulent conversions, and affective states associated with negative spirituality. The differential diagnosis in regard to psychosis is often challenging... Although the crisis and psychosis groups scored similarly on perplexity, self-disorder, depression, and anxiety, the disturbance of social contact and cognition was observed only in psychosis" (Kállai & Kéri, 2020: Religious-spiritual crisis or psychosis? The impact of basic symptoms in the differentiation of prepsychotic states).

To summarize the above definition, Kállai & Kéri (2020) differentiated spiritual crisis with spiritual psychosis through one particular symptom: social withdrawal and disturbance of cognitive functions. If you Google the word "spiritual psychosis", you'll get a wealth of articles and websites cautioning on symptoms that aren't entirely accurate to spiritual psychosis. It is important to consider that spirituality, especially witchcraft and paganism, have been demonized since Christianization and it is integral to recognize that these beliefs still exist today. This heavily impacts spiritual psychosis and its diagnosis, especially within pagan communities, as there are still individuals who want to convince others that if they are a pagan, they must be ""clinically insane"" (I say this, as someone federally disabled from clinical OCD, PTSD, and ASD). It is super important to realize that a lot of people will point the fingers at pagans very quickly to say "HEY! That person is insane because they are talking to a god!" when the same person goes back home to pray every night to God and ask them for forgiveness. This isn't meant as an attack on Christians, but rather to point out the hypocrisy that can occur when this topic arises in religious spaces.

I say this, as a medicated, healthy, and healing individual who practices deity worship, work, tarot, astrology, and spirit work! Not all paganism is "spiritual psychosis", but there are definitely facets and wings of spirituality/neopaganism (in particular) that can lead right down the path of the red pill and psychosis to the right-wing ideology (looking at you, Grimm).

To begin my story: my spiritual psychosis took place pre-COVID, around 2017-2018 timeframe.

I also want to note that this is my experience; this experience does not define everyone who has experienced spiritual psychosis, nor meant as a diagnostic tool. I am simply here to share my story and hopefully spread awareness in the pagan community to help others recognize the signs of potential psychosis and ultimately make our community safer, more inviting, and more healthy.

I also want to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR: you do not have to have preexisting mental/emotional disabilities to experience spiritual psychosis.

Anyone can experience spiritual psychosis, and that's what makes it so incredibly dangerous! The above belief is what ultimately led to my downfall and unfortunate experience with psychosis, almost causing to my own death. I am not an individual with any preexisting mood disorders; I do not experience mania symptoms or psychotic symptoms, and never have, outside of this experience. When I was going through spiritual psychosis, I told myself that "this must be real, because I don't have BPD or mania or schizophrenia!" In my head, I was "happy and healthy", and I continuously told myself that because I was happy, it couldn't have been psychosis. It's also important to mention that I was 15-16 years old when I experienced this, so I was already within a vulnerable population to religious manipulation due to being in a rough mental state and exploring who I was as a teenager.

Please do not try to diagnose me in the comments. I am monitored and medicated by a physician, psychiatrist, and therapist, and have been evaluated again and again for mood disorders since this experience. I have consistently, multiple times, failed the diagnostic measures for disorders consisting of psychotic episodes, mania, or bipolar-type disabilities. Trying to diagnose someone actively experiencing spiritual psychosis and slapping a label on them will only make the problem worse, I PROMISE. Same goes for individuals in recovery from psychosis.

On a similar note, if a loved one is going through spiritual psychosis, and needs help, simply telling them that it's "not real" or that they're in psychosis will probably not work; it didn't work on me, at least. What I needed was medical intervention, and this problem marinated in my head for over a year because of negligence and ignorance to the severity of my state. Telling someone with spiritual psychosis that they have spiritual psychosis WILL NOT WORK, I promise. Reach out to their doctor, a hotline, or a professional in a medical field if you suspect a friend or loved one is in a psychotic episode. Please, for me—don't try to play the savior, because they might think they are the savior.

That being said, I also will say that OCD can share a lot of similarities with BPD, and I've talked to a ton of fellow OCD-ers that have had spiritual psychosis experiences.

I will also mention that certain chemicals or medications can influence the onset of spiritual psychosis! At this time, I was struggling through a lot of menstrual issues, and was placed on a oral birth control (progesterone) that was notorious for causing delusion, with users of the hormone reporting that "they literally felt like they were going insane". I snapped out of my spiritual psychosis the second I went off the medication. This is not to blame pharmaceuticals or scream out to the void that medicine is bad (I am happily medicated and monitored by a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist now!) but to emphasize that outside influences can, and will, encourage the onset of spiritual psychosis.

Here is a list of some of the events, symptoms (unique to me), and beliefs I held during my spiritual psychosis. I've bolded critical drivers of my episode.

I was a "Christian witch" at this time, and believed that I was a lightworker sent by God among a group of 20 or so individuals to "heal" others

I was socially withdrawn, without any true friends. I had one online friend at the time, who was also going through spiritual psychosis with me, making this problem much worse.

I was constantly compulsion-checking (OCD) for signs such as angel numbers, words, messages, to the point where I could not concentrate because of the desparate need for reassurance

I was obsessed with the concept of talking to and doing spellwork on real people in the astral to "heal them", and it gave me a sense that I was not alone; this was not consensual to these people, who I did know in real life, and I was convinced that was okay, because...

I believed in twin flame ideology, which I have consistently not only seen mentioned from other survivors of spiritual psychosis, but often encourages toxic relationships, abuse, and stalking.

I thought I was an earth angel who had a past life as an angel. This included delusions so severe that I thought I could "feel my wings" and that I "wasn't meant to be on earth" (this can slip so quickly into su*cidal ideation, and it did for me)

I created my own world in my head that I would meditate to enter, essentially, where I had an entire family of spirits taking care of me, including my "future kids" (I had internalized homophobia)

I could not sleep, function, and barely could eat. This is a defining, tell-tale sign of any form of psychosis: I was so obsessed with meditating and entering the astral realm, that I was completely dissociated from the real world. In a sense, I was not existing in the physical world, at all.

I could hear and see "spirits" who would tell me uncomfortable things. They would appear as voices in my head that I didn't want there, but believed I had to let be there if I wanted to continue on my path as a healer.

I had gone from a state of depression so badly that I was unable to function, to "happy and healthy" in my psychotic mania during this. If you find yourself quickly turning from a down to an up, be aware.

I thought I was pregnant with a spirit unconsensually. This one I will say with certainty (and love): guys, please, if you think you have a spirit child and you are the equivalent to the modern-day Virgin Mary, please walk yourself into the nearest ER.

I was obsessed with conservative, right-wing beliefs to the point where it was the only media I consumed. This was also in-part because I grew up on military bases, but most definitely worsened during my psychosis.

I believed I was more important than others to God, my life had more value.

I could go on, but I think these bullets sum up my experience pretty well.

How I recovered and realized my spiritual psychosis episode, and what that looked like.

This is where it can get extremely dangerous! I was lucky enough to have my driving factor as a medication, but that was not the sole influence.

I kid you not: I woke up one morning after switching meds, realized that it was literally all in my head, and entered the worst depressive episode I've ever had in my life, to this day. I was unable to sleep from paranoia, struggled eating, would refuse to talk to my parents, and was terrified of anything to even remotely do with religion. It got to the point where I was, quite literally, on my death bed. The only thing that saved me was going into therapy and establishing connections, getting diagnosed with OCD, and ultimately, aging and maturing.

The story of my recovery is a much, much longer road with unrelated events, so I won't go into that. But I will emphasize that this event almost caused me my life on a few occasions, and led to a multi-year journey to reexplore spirituality, morality, and religion. It took me years upon years to recover, and I believe that I did the right thing: if you ever have spiritual psychosis, take a step back for awhile and evaluate first what caused the psychosis, what your symptoms were, and identify your coping strategies and networks to avoid the situation reoccurring in the future.

Spiritual psychosis is dangerous, it's scary, and it's not talked enough in pagan communities. I think my end-all advice for this post would be just that above: be aware, be educated, and be monitored by a medical team. If you are ever hearing things you don't want to hear, thinking your gods are upset at you (they're not, I promise), experiencing mania or depressive symptoms, please please please speak to a medical professional or something you love and trust.

Today, I am an eclectic Hellenic/Norse pagan with spirit guides and gods who I have boundaries with. My healthy spiritual practice looks like being grounded in my body, in nature, my friends around me, my family, and most importantly, maintaining good mental health. It includes working a job I love, telling stories of nature to others (I'm a tour guide/naturalist), and writing. I go to therapy weekly, I'm medicated, and I actively take steps to heal and recognize how my psychosis impacted both my spirituality, religion, and path. Recovery is possible. You are never alone.

I'm more than happy to open conversation about this topic and answer any questions! Please also feel free to correct me on anything I said.

I'm hoping this helps someone who needs to hear it, spreads awareness, and most importantly, promotes healthy religious practice. I'd like to thank my deities (Loki and Aphrodite) for encouraging me to make this post and speak up about my experience <3 It's always wonderful to have a spiritual team that is truly on my side.

Blessed be, my friends! Stay happy and healthy!

#witchblr #hellenic witch #paganism #pagan witch #norse pagan #eclectic pagan #lokean #pagan community #heathenry #witchcraft #witch #spiritual psychosis #spirituality #spiritual awakening #christianity #red pill #god #deities #deity work #holy spirit #spiritualgrowth

[hazbinhotelie]

I need to work on a list of headcanons for Alastor in general, hold on

-HOOVES (confirmed)

-Tail and fluff (unconfirmed :()

-Deer noises (slightly confirmed? With Rosie)

-Is a very snuggly person but in the sense that he can invade other people’s space when he wants, but no one can touch him without permission (this might be canon, I haven’t checked)

-No Touch Days! Where he doesn’t want to be touched at all, and honestly, that’s relatable.

-When I’m making him as show-accurate as possible, he’d be sex repulsed.

-otherwise I’ll be sticking labels on him like little stickers, swapping them around for situations as needed. In one fic he’s ace, in another, he’s aroace, it’s all fiction you can’t stop me >:)

-This asshole is a virgin who definitely platonically married Rosie for tax benefits

-His radio static can interfere with Vox’s signals (which leads to so much potential for trolling, but also angst if it’s possible to manipulate Vox’s perceptions of things)

-Zestial helped him sew his mouth shut/into that near-permanent smile (or taught him some of what he knows)

-He hates Valentino for many reasons, his treatment of women (and people in general tbh) being a big part of it, but also that whole love potion thing he did with Velvette. And of course, his preexisting hatred for Vox and their affiliation with him probably plays into it

-I don’t think he hates Vox. Even their rivalry is one sided lmao.

-I think they had a falling out and it was bitter for a time, but Alastor has gotten over it. Now he’s just trolling Vox because it’s what he does to everyone.

-he has a little ace ring on his finger that Rosie gifted him

-he can’t actually play piano, but he is a good dancer and can obviously sing well

-he keeps up to date on the latest music and news (and vaguely knows of tech, he just doesn’t care for it)

-he has tea sessions with Rosie specifically dedicated to learning slang

-the two points above this are specifically for his radio show, because I headcanon it’s not all just screams, he’s got some actual segments in there. Especially considering he used it to diss Vox in Stayed Gone and nobody was surprised

-Under different circumstances, he would have definitely adopted Velvette on sight. (Keep in mind for AUs)

-his antlers are sensitive, that’s why he usually keeps them so short (instead of having them big, like in his full demon form)

-His ears are also sensitive! And soft. Don’t touch them, or you’ll die.

-he gives both the best and worst relationship advice, depending on who’s asking and when.

-He doesn’t like sweet things very much, but he’ll eat it when necessary (to make his friends happy. He won’t admit it)

-He eats raw meat like an absolute menace, but he is a good cook.

-he’s very particular about the way the kitchen is organized, no one else is allowed in lest they mess it up. No one is allowed to Interrupt his cooking, but they may offer to help clean up the dishes afterwards.

-he hums old tunes when cooking (or doing anything really) and his radio static accompanies him at all times, it’s just a matter of how loud or quiet it is. Usually people don’t notice it because it’s so quiet.

-The static changes volume, frequency, etc. depending on his mood, a key indicator when he’s pissed off or joking or not.

#alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #alastor #headcanon #alastor headcanons #the radio demon

[sunnybyler]

the way some people talk about the mor & eris situation genuinely grosses me out and i just have to talk about it. mind you, this is coming from someone who doesn’t really like mor and really likes eris (or rather, likes the potential he has and believes him to be good).

i absolutely hate the fact that some people jump to mor lying about her absolutely horrific trauma just because they like eris. now, don’t get me wrong. i 100% believe there’s more to the story than we’re being told. it might be true that mor is leaving some information out. but y’all, it’s explicit that she was horribly abused and nearly killed for what she did with cassian. i’ve even seen people say she made part that up too which is even more crazy to me when that’s the part of this story where we do know exactly what happened. to some extent, i get why people question eris’s involvement. sjm is very obviously setting him up to be a secretly good guy wearing a mask. i mean, why else would she retcon him being at jesminda’s death? and there’s so many other hints. it’s also heavily implied that he wasn’t being evil in leaving mor there, i mean he basically said as much in acosf. however, that doesn’t mean that mor’s trauma is suddenly untrue or invalid just because eris had good motivations behind not helping her. my personal theory is that he left her because he knew she wanted out, that all beron would do would be abuse her further, and some law that if he touched her she would become autumn court territory. or something along those lines. imo he probably also knows she’s queer which is why he was so cryptic in the hewn city. i’ve also seen the mates theory which is interesting, but i’m not fully sold on it yet. regardless of the truth of it all, i definitely believe that eris was saving her in the only way he could when he left her there. HOWEVER. that does not mean that mor cannot be traumatized by it. i mean, imagine being in that situation. showing up and her condition and being left there to rot basically. i wouldn’t be able to look at whoever did that to me either, even if they were protecting me from a worse fate. two things can be true at once. eris can have good intentions, and mor can still have valid trauma because of what happened to her. you’re allowed to like characters that do morally gray things guys. not everything is black and white, and that’s okay.

also, the evil mor theory is ridiculous i’m sorry. like yeah, her truth power is weirdly vague and sketchy, but y’all are reaching. i don’t even hate the theory because i like mor, i hate it because it makes absolutely no sense. think about the absolutely TERRIBLE backlash sjm would get for making her only queer character secretly evil and making up her horrific trauma and abuse. like can you imagine???? that would NEVER happen. especially when she’s already so heavily criticized for her writing of queer characters. i get that authors pull dumb shit sometimes, but no one on her team would ever allow that, and i don’t believe sjm would ever want to either. i like theorizing sometimes but at a certain point it just goes too far for my taste and i just had to get this off my chest.

#all this being said we DEFINITELY need some more clarity on her truth powers bc the vagueness around it has caused too much bs #pls clear this up quickly sarah #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #mor #morrigan #eris vanserra

[34saveme34]

MOST INCOHERENT MARWARE RAMBLING INCOMING

I'm so obsessed and I must talk because I love the amount of potential here

like it's. villain x hero's silly sidekick. that's hilarious

like think about it. Puzzles didn't quite get to Mario like to the others

babe's collateral and did he make Puzzles regret that

their dynamic

just the silly in general. I love the early time ship art "what those antennas do" hell if I know but Mario is keen to find out.

it's silly fun! really cute and fun, especially when it stop Puzzles in his tracks. When he expects fear or devotion and instead he gets such a weird and unexpected and chaotic form of adoration with which his heart (if it is still there) cannot handle. it's beautiful. Mario in general just having feelings for him. It's so good

but also I wanna explore the like, specific eroticism that you can put into the Hunt. The way how Mario hunts Puzzles because he craves Entertainment and he'll have it No Matter What, it's so disgustingly amusing and something I could think about forever. I never really understood this before but these 2 REALLY made me understand. Mario smashing every single TV on his way until he finds His One and the Hunt is over? I'm so fucked up, I'M SO F U C K E D

ngl I realise a certain part of the fandom would probably call me a freak for this. I'm calling them catholic guilt ridden

anyways!

the emotional. oh the emotional. Mario already had a different thing going on when it came to villains

I think he is like, the best candidate in general to help Puzzles in redeeming himself. Mario can be SO caring and like like like

it's just ONE facet of this, this isn't how it starts but over time it would become such an important part of this because he grows like, genuine attachment

but the most important thing in the beginning would be is that he's casual. He also has like. a very specific type of emotional maturity, which some people like to call inconsistent writing, I like to call it a quirk and acknowedge it with my whole heart

but it would like, allow the 2 to speak on like, more casual terms

where Puzzles isn't a danger anymore and Mario just so happens to be there at the right time, say the right words

the rights words for Mario to just so obviously see that Puzzles needs a friend so so badly and letting him have it

this once, maybe he can prove to be a cool friend

and oh would he.... oh my goooood would he aaaughgh

because at his core, like, Puzzles isn't evil for the sake of evil, he's evil to obtain what he wants

so like, if he isn't obtaining anymore kdsldlsk I bet he could be fun. Mario would make him touch grass, they would go places together, have some silly adventures together, some more chaotic than the other

a dynamic that would form between the 2 where Puzzles becomes just a bit too soft that he lets Mario get away with things he shouldn't

maybe even helps him because he finds it fun anyways

considering what he was before..... finding solace in chaos and forgetting perfection for a second there...... he finds perfection right beside him....... maybe like, for example in the middle of a food fight Mario causes because they gave him shitty spaghetti or something and Puzzles just seeing the glee on Mario's face over the fun chaos and just. Feeling something in himself. And he wouldn't, for a long time, realise that it's love. He never felt it before

I can almost imagine him turning to romantic movies and such, trying to figure out if the feeling fits. Because it's so so intense in him, he never felt anything like this. He can't talk to anyone about this, he has no other friends in all this. And oooh dhslksdjsd ooOOhOohK?,s,,s,s dsooooooooohhh,,, dsdldk

guys I think he would create. Idk I just think. ijust think .

having experiences in life now, things that just keep replaying in his head, as he is starting to have a life. he would create something from his own head. And it would be like a love letter to Mario. And he would GET IT. And by it I mean. You know. 😲😳😳😳😳😳😳don't make me say it............

okay okay.......!!! He would get Puzzles's homosexual ass.

#smg4 #marware #marware like a virus on my brain really rings true right now #I'm SO sorry to the people who are here for my 34 content but christ these 2 got me in the gayest chokehold of the century

[icarusbetide]

adams and ham on stealth mode: washington and burr

if i could be in the room where it happens i'd go to that short 10-day period where burr was part of washington's military family and witness what tf happened to trigger their beef. people argue that hamilton played the dominant part in GW's dislike of burr, and don't get me wrong - it doesn't help that one of his trusted advisors might have been confirming negative opinions of burr (especially since GW apparently wrote to adams that "By all that I have known and heard Colonel Burr is a brave and able Officer: but the question is whether he has not equal Talents at Intrigue") - but i think it's clear that the bad blood started pretty much as soon as they met, before ham even joined the family.

there are a lot of quiet examples of washington not commending burr for his wartime actions or supporting his efforts and i want to know - why?? sure, there's innate dislike and incompatibility but it still strikes me as odd that GW who normally maintained diplomacy, showed his dislike so apparently. the man didn't even mention burr's brave part in a maneuver that might've saved an entire brigade in the next day's general orders and apparently burr thought it was an "intentional slight" - which seems likely.

and the beef lasted for decades! washington refused to make burr brigadier general during the quasi-war, burr said some shady shit about washington's intelligence and reliance on hamilton, etc. etc.

there's that legend that apparently during burr's 10 day stint as potential aide, washington caught burr going through his papers - which sounds too sensational to be true, but all these men were unhinged, who tf knows.

burr's biographer lomask suggests that it might have had to do with burr's manners and "air of superiority", which makes sense. but come on. i'm pretty sure that young, talented, intelligent men from well-to-do families all have some air of superiority, including washington's favorites. did burr do something specific that pushed his buttons?

unfortunately washington did not achieve john adams level of public hating so we don't get a burr-version of "superabundance of secretions" but there's still something juicy here.

#breaking news: dead old man had beef with dead slightly younger old man #george washington #aaron burr #amrev #amrev fandom #historical hamilton #hamilton #alexander hamilton

[eheavenlyy]

need to just get something off my chest…

“jeremy knox has no personality”

orrrrrr he just wasn’t the focus. would i have loved to see more of who he is? absolutely. but, i think his ‘lack of character’ actually proved to be more interesting in this case. like who is jeremy knox, why is he afraid of cops, why does he try to focus on everything but himself in each of his chapters, and is he putting up a front to cope with potential past problems? i can’t wait to find out and see that naturally unravel.

however, in my opinion (keyword), i feel like people are just comparing TSC characters too much to the original ones from the trilogy. there we saw many interesting and complex characters, which makes sense given that they are foxes and that’s the target for recruitment, but the trojans are not like that. they are truly just your average athlete (which does vary) but they aren’t going to have neil or andrew’s level of depth when it comes to characterization.

additionally, i’m not sure if a singular book is the best judge of who a character is especially not one who wasn’t the main focus. i definitely hope TSC2 goes more in depth of who he is, which i’m sure many of us relate to, but it would’ve been weird if in this book it was just a jeremy info dump when the center of the book is helping jean get back on his feet and okay again…

there are many valid points regarding this argument though, from both sides, but this is personally just how i feel about it. once the paperback is released i wanna go back and reread and maybe my opinion will change but for now i think everyone needs to stop the jeremy knox hate. leave that little guy alone!!

#all for the game #aftg #the sunshine court #jean moreau #tsc #jeremy knox #jeremy get behind me

[r0semultiverse]

Qrow’s Semblance is Fortune! 🐦‍⬛

I talked about this briefly before, having speculated that Clover’s pin carries on his good luck after death or that Qrow has just done a lot of training mentally and/or physically. @benevolentslut had some amazing additions as well & I want to sum up this theory for you as best as I can as we reached similar conclusions even before I had read her reblog.

Qrow has only been in the negative all his life, mentally and emotionally.

This man has had barely any positivity in his life.

"His whole life he's been the epitome of cynicism and pessimism." - @benevolentslut

Qrow grew up under constant stress & threat of those around him.

Needless to say, but I don't think he could trust anyone he grew up around except maybe Raven.

Then he has to constantly worry about being found out by the other huntsmen! Also growing up with the threat of huntsmen and Grimm the entire time!

Then Oz drops the whole Salem problem on him & I'm sure that didn't help his mental health in the slightest!

"His sister leaves him and their team, and then summer disappears." - @benevolentslut Yeahhhh he is losing everyone close to him in one way or another! That cannot be a fun experience!

This look like the face of a guy that's doing okay?

I'm just going to copy paste this here as I hadn't noticed it & it feels worth noting that the intensity of his misfortune seems to increase with the increasing mental strain.

While we don't know for sure that all of these things are a byproduct of Qrow's misfortune semblance, it certainly isn't out of the realm of possibility. Notice the worsening of his mental health resulting in potentially more disastrous outcomes. 😰

"we see him blaming himself constantly for everything that goes wrong, and it only causes that to become more true." - @benevolentslut

She lists a lot more examples of where Qrow's semblance has potentially worked this way in the original post. Clover comes along & starts lifting him up, giving him actual hope. He now has a little seed of hope planted in him. 🍀

Wow, Qrow is doing so good for himself lately! I sure hope nothing-

Oh... oh no. From his perspective Ruby & Yang could literally be dead. He is stricken with grief as he watches it all unfold & probably sunk back down into a negative spot mentally. He may even blame himself in some way.

When you're this low, there's a saying that goes "nowhere to go but up."

I firmly believe that Qrow would see things that way, especially after reaching his lowest point. He can only do his best to help those around him. Though he's the most alone he's ever been, he's becoming a part of a new community where people help one another. In that sense, it's impossible to be alone. In spite of it all, he slowly finds his mental health improving! Ruby's message to the world is bringing people together! 🌹

"and we see him take up clover's role, both in terms of how he's helping out around shade, and more literally, in the unmissable parallel where he catches the guy who trips." - @benevolentslut

Ruby & Clover have both filled him with hope & he's more optimistic than he's ever been, which results in bursts good fortune! ✨

There's also already a premise for shifts in mental health and trauma resulting in semblance evolution.

Cinder betrayed Neo & so she winds up in the Ever After & through her form changes is showing us that she now has negative feelings towards Cinder.

She's so upset that her semblance starts to make multiple clones of her which it has never been able to do before. Her Overactive Imagination semblance has evolved due to the state of her mental health.

Her semblance begins to evolve so much to where she can create entire architectural structures and buildings out of it!

She can even use it to talk through the people she recreates, something she's not physically capable of herself.

While we do have to take into account that the Ever After plays by rules that are a little bit different at times; this absolutely confirms that semblances, much like people, can change & grow! 💪

My conclusion: Volume 10 & beyond will show Qrow's personal semblance evolution as he finds out that his power is actually Fortune itself & the ability to control it, good and the bad.

#oh god I have to compress the gifs so much because of tumblr's gif size limit 😩 #thank you for the theory fuel & the supporting points you gave! #maybe I'll do a youtube video on this topic when I come off of my semi-hiatus #wow I told myself I'd keep it brief but here we are; I'm procrastinating packing my bags & making rwby theories #I just think Qrow is a very fascinating character & if we are right about this; he will be an important player in volume 10 & onward #imagine having a guy who can manipulate fortunate on your team; that's actually so powerful as an ability if he can master it #It's not so much that the Clover ebi pin is good luck; but that Qrow himself is becoming a beacon of good fortune #Fair Game lives on in his heart & the hope he's been given even if Clover isn't here to see it #please let me know what you think in the replies; reblogs; whatever; if you have anything to add I'd love to hear all about it! #rwby theory #rwby volume 10 #rwby volume 9 #fair game #qrow x clover #rwby #qrow branwen #greenlight volume 10 #mine #op