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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 3 years

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happy birthday, @irrlicht-ghostfront ❤️ i love you, and i'm judging you for this being your prompt, but i love you some more, so here <33 (warnings: car accident) [NO MCD]

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Blink and a miss — accident — wrecked car, and fleeting on the painful side of barely conscious in a pool of his own blood. There was too much of it anyway. Castiel felt dizzy more than he felt the pain as time, almost tangibly, passed on.

There's no way he was going to live.

(It was supposed to end old — fingers crossed for painless. Featuring inevitably beeping monitors, and time to come up with last words. A goodbye to his family.

Not that he had much of one right now — he isn't sure if he can call Dean's family his, yet; Dean seems to insist on it but then he's always been a pioneer in giving Castiel more than he could ever deserve, starting with his own heart, so Castiel can't tell — but he'd finally started to have intentions to, in the future.

A dog, for Dean.

Children.

Intentions to beg his brother to come back, and not give up until he'd gotten his forgiveness and his only remaining family back. But that — well, it was a different alley than Castiel's thoughts swarmed to right now. And swarm they did, his head throbbing, and life thudding at its gates.

Castiel had also intended to marry Dean, misty-eyed and denying it. Intended to figure out flower arrangements, and guest seating. Intended to kiss him at the end of the aisle, with his hands cupping Dean's face, and Dean's around his waist.

Then, move out from their shared apartment into a house.

Yellow wallpapered bedroom.

Treasure, and keep Dean happy forever.

Fuck.)

His breathing is still ragged, and his head feels too empty, but the heaving has lessened. Probably the blood loss. Less pain, more haze. And the resultant thoughtlessness is perhaps the only thing that sparks the courage in him to do what he does next.

Castiel picks up his phone.

(A struggle, but he's determined.)

If he's dying, and he'll never get to live the life he'd finally started to dream of — never have a life to share with Dean, never get to see Dean again, then he'll take what he can get.

He's allowed this, he tells himself. Allowed to be selfish, one last time.

He's on his deathbed after all.

It's outstandingly painful to bend his neck enough to see he's picked the right number — but the mere idea of accidentally calling an acquaintance at a time like this brings a tensed sliver of life into his muscles, and straining, he looks. Right enough, he's got 'Dean :)' on the screen.

Pressing dial, he lets his head fall back on the seat, wincing again. Maybe that'll relent the floatiness, if his body circulates some goddamn blood into his brain — because he needs this.

He's dying, but he needs this. One last time, he needs Dean.

A thumb swipes the familiarly placed 'on speaker' button — he can't bring the phone to his ear right now. He's going to have to risk Dean hearing the still crackling ruins of the poor engine, strewn across the wreck in smoldering pieces.

He must make quite a sight, he thinks, waiting for the call to go through. Man found in car wreckage, trapped by the door, dead within —

"Cas?"

Dean's voice cuts through Castiel's morbid mental news report, and almost reflexively, he closes his eyes. There's a tangible relief in his head when he does it, and god, Castiel must've been doing worse than he's convinced himself he is.

Dean sounds beautiful as always, and so familiar its like home.

It's the last time he ever gets to have this.

"Hello, Dean." Maybe he manages to not sound weird, or Dean's just not listening for clues. The loud racket behind him, at Bobby (and Dean's) automobile shop, helps as well.

"Hey." There's a smile in his voice now. Fuck. He's smiling. He's smiling, and he's smiling at Cas, and it's the last time Castiel ever gets to hear it.

He loses himself trying to remember the last time he saw Dean smile — earlier this morning, kissing him goodbye before he left — no, down from their balcony, accompanied by a gleeful wave because Dean's shift started a couple hours after Cas's day in the office did — no, when Castiel checked the time, and the Dean on his lockscreen grinned up at him — and he doesn't realize he's fallen silent until Dean's speaking again.

"Babe, you okay?"

There's a tinge of worry. Only a smidge, and it still hurts. The last time Castiel hears Dean can't be laced with anything bad. And it can't be Castiel's fault.

There's a pause. "Cas, what's up?"

Castiel doesn't know what to say so he tries to hold on to the phone tighter, his throat fluttering as a tear rolls down his face.

"Wait," The worry dissipates, apology slipping in. "Am I forgetting something? Did we make plans for lunch, 'cause Bobby and —"

"N-no." Cas struggles, and it's getting harder to not pant. He sounds too breathy anyway. "We don't. Didn't."

He forces a smile into his voice while saying it. As if it doesn't break him that he'll never get to see Dean again. But he needs to smile, doesn't he? One last time. Just for Dean.

"Well, do you want to?" Dean sounds cheerful. Normal.

Perfect.

Castiel doesn't want to die.

"Not, today." He half-heaves, and another tear rolls down his face.

Not today.

(If he'd known, he'd have stared to his heart's fill this morning. Kissed him an hour longer. Held him in his sleep. Oh, if he had had any foresight at all.)

"Dickface-atron keeping ya busy?"

Castiel lets the air stuck in his chest out, and it probably makes up for a small chuckle. He doesn't want to lie, he just won't agree.

"Figures."

"Sorry." Castiel tells him, meaning it entirely.

"Nah, s'good. I love you." Dean adds, clearly smiling wider, because they've only recently added that to their vernacular instead of the pedestal it'd been on for the first eight months of their friendship turning into a relationship. Somehow, it feels grander though — or, that might also be because it's the last time Castiel ever gets to hear Dean say it to him.

Oh, he loves him so much.

(He doesn't want to die.)

"And I have my packed lunch anyway." Dean continues, filling the gap thankfully. Machines blare in his background and he braves on like a man used to not being able to hear his own words due to the racket. Castiel is grateful for it. He hangs onto every word, drinks it in. Makes himself hold on. "Pretty sure you'd kick me to the curb if I let a PBJ go to waste."

"Jelly?" Cas smiles, when he wants to sob. He's certain he sounds fainter too, he feels fainter, and it's a miracle it doesn't show.

The tears well up in his chest, for possibly the rest of time. Dead men don't cry, and Castiel can't.

(Can't be long now, can it?)

"Jelly." Dean confirms. "It's the curse of paying attention when you rant about jam, you know." He snickers. "I used to be normal."

"Yes, I'm very lucky."

Dean chuckles, and Castiel sighs.

He's yearned for Dean to be happy, tried to make him smile, longed to see him laugh, for so, so long it feels like a part of him now. And now, it goes back to Dean, without him.

Somebody else'll make him smile, somebody else will wake him up with a kiss on his temple, and somebody else will love Dean for exactly who he is because it's Dean, and there was never someone who deserved it more — so of course somebody will.

But it will never be him again.)

An untethered broken sound escapes his throat, and Cas winces, faking a cough with it.

That makes the blood gush.

"Oh, also — wait. Just a second." He interrupts himself, and probably covers the speaker with his palm before yelling blurrily to someone near him.

(Or perhaps it's not supposed to be blurry. Castiel wouldn't know. He can hardly make out his own breathing. It's a feat that he can make out the conversation, even if most of it is instinct memory, and all he's doing is holding onto Dean for as long as he can.

Somehow, it feels like he's been doing so forever. But the time left, had never been so little.)

When Dean returns, he sounds apologetically busy.

"Dude, that dick who yelled at Ash, remember? He's back. Garth went this time, 'cause douchebag brought a Sedan."

Castiel swallows again, and vaguely registers that it tastes like metal. Almost like there's blood mixed with saliva.

There's another morbid thought. What, in this wreck, is finally going to kill him?

"I should probably check on him. Garth sorta wears on you."

"Of course." He croaks, and slips — fuck, he slips — but for once, thank god for oversensitive customers and boyfriends with likeable personalities, because Dean's conversing off the phone again, his hand on the speaker.

"I'll call you back, babe." Dean comes back to add in a rush, and Cas sucks in a painful breath, slowly beginning to feel like the only thing keeping him conscious any more is the sensation of air in his lungs, in his mouth, in the back of his throat. "Still have to ask what you even called about, you know. Or maybe if you just missed me." He beams, he obviously beams, and Cas stifles a groan.

"I do." He wheezes. "I —"

"Me too." Dean returns, flirty, and Cas goes to add to it — because he has to, because he's not going to make it, he's not going to be able to hold on until Dean returns, and he has to — but there's a click.

Castiel stares at the screen, devastated.

(Or tries to, anyway.)

"I love you," He cries out, aware that the line's cut, but needing to hear himself say it anyway. Plus, his head feels too numb to keep words inside anymore. It's less a prison of thoughts, and more a canyon of loss.

More tears fall.

His heart is beating faster than it ever has.

"I love —" His voice trembles, tries again, and fails. His throat refuses to comply with the thousands of things there remain to be said, and the words slowly fade, neglected.

In more ways than one, it's like being administered anaesthesia before a surgery — Castiel was operated on for tonsils at age eleven, and he remembers it still — and it finally sinking in, and knocking you out, as the doctor says to count to ten, and you hardly graze six.

His hands clutch the phone tighter, neck rendering him incapable of looking anymore, so he has no idea what his thumbs are trying to type — but it doesn't matter, not really, because this is it. Completely alone, young, and desperately in love with Dean Winchester, Castiel closes his eyes for the very last time.

And everything fades to black.

When they find him, it's been at least four hours.

It's night.

The uniformed official stuck with the responsibility of calling the next of kin, Victor Henriksen, fishes out the wallet as the paramedics carry him into the ambulance and attach him to IV immediately, and steps away to dial his emergency contact with a crinkled brow of sympathy.

And as he waits for the guy, a Dean Winchester, to pick up, he can't help but notice that his number is exactly the same as the one the last text almost sent from the victim's phone had been typed to — clutched in his hand, an unnerving, 'I love'.

And well, he isn't particularly into romcoms, but he hopes the poor guy gets a chance to finish his sentence.

He was in pretty bad condition, Henriksen recalls, and the bloodloss had knocked him out for several hours, but he looked twenty five at most, more importantly healthy, and — he looks at the wallet again, and the picture of two men (one of them, the victim) smiling at the camera with their hands around each other — most importantly, seemed to have reasons to fight for.

(Plus, he'd been the one to call the accident in himself — albeit four hours after it happened, but Henriksen figured he'd been passed out for that long — so he had to want to live, right?)

"Hello. Dean Winchester, who's this?"

"Hello, sir, I'm Officer Henriksen, and I have you listed as Mr Castiel Novak's emergency..."

"You dick."

Castiel coughs, and gives up on squinting against the bright light. It's a LED. Like in hospitals.

"Jesus, Cas. You complete asshole, you —"

Castiel opens his eyes a sliver again. The walls do resemble a hospital. Plain, white tiled. Way too many AC vents. Is that something on his hand?

"So you'll open your goddamn eyes, and not even fucking look at me."

There's IV's on both his hands. And something stiff around his neck. Almost like a collar, but thicker. And when he breathes, his ribs start like they might hurt — but the pain is numbed as it registers. He must be running really high on painkillers; they never really worked for him.

"Fine. You don't gotta look at me." A pause. Then, more shaky. "I was so scared, Cas. So fucking terrified. They said they weren't sure, said it may be too late, and you were dying. And then they tell me the crash happened at three, and I feel like I'm going to have a fucking stroke."

His vision slowly unblurs, feeling returning to his fingers. He tries to fold them, and winces at the strain.

Immediately, there's a hand on his arm.

"Stop moving, dumbass. I'm going to kill you for this, you know. I am, but I need you to be okay first."

The words don't register, but the voice does.

(He sounds beautiful as always, and so familiar it's like home.)

"Hell, I just need you, Cas. Period. I need your ridiculous, stupid ass — and I need you to look at me when I'm begging you to be okay, and I need you to stay, with me, forever, and not call me first when you need a goddamn ambulance, you dumbass —"

"Hello, Dean." Castiel interrupts, a hoarse whisper, and he thinks he hears a sob from the general direction of the love of his life.

(He really can't move his neck — he's got to tell Dean that at some point if he's not understood already. It's the cast.)

"Oh, thank god." Dean cries, the words muffled by either him burying his face in his sleeve, or the lifesaving medications Castiel is alive on account of, but it's okay, right? Dean's here — and he's okay. It's fine.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm still going to kill you for this."

"Well, I'd deserve that." Castiel tries to joke, and almost pulls it off, except for the part where he can't see Dean's reaction until the latter lets out another broken sob, and grabs his hand. Castiel freezes, trying to squeeze back, tears welling up again. "I'm really sorry, Dean." Then, after a beat. "I'm going to make this up to you."

It feels like a strange thing to say, but it's exactly what he means.

"Yeah, you are. Although it can't stop my revenge being not texting you when I have a heart attack in aisle three when I'm eighty and you're buying eggs, but okay."

If Castiel could, he would've shaken his head at that.

(But at least, and this is what really matters — they made it. He's alive. He — he gets this.)

"I love you, you son of a bitch."

Castiel smiles slowly, a tear landing on his pillow. "I love you too."

#destiel #destiel angst #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #cas pov #tw car accident #angst with a happy ending #prompt by the wonderful bamboo thank you again and happy birthday!!#bluefirecas #queenrowena #userpris #tearsofgrace #rambleoncas #oh writing my writing #PLEASE FORGIVE MEDICAL INACCURACIES IF FOUND i am a self professed fool #also please forgive bad writing. i hadn't written in WEEKS when i wrote this #long post

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zephahhhh · 2 years

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😂 Severus for the ask game!

Oh yes Severus my boi let’s gooooooooooooooo!

What I like/dislike about him

It is very difficult to put all the reason in one post I think. So let’s put it simple:

He’s intelligent

He’s powerful

He’s sarcastic

He made mistakes and he regrets about them, and spent his whole life try to make up

Also, I feel deeply related to him. He was a broken man, and I feel I’m somehow a broken person as well. When reading the book, I can totally understand the subtexts of his emotions and his values. Like I said in Luna’s post, he was like a hedgehog, he hurt people to protect himself. It’s sad, but that’s one of the thing I feel related the most.

OTP

It’s Snack and Snarry recently. I love almost every combination of relationships about him actually, but Snack and Snarry are just so🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 I mean, in Snack, we can see the delicious enemies to lovers dynamic, two broken men loving each other, hate fuck(ohhh I love hate fuck), and the potential of switching is so high and it’s really, really hot. About Snarry, I suppose it’s more because I do prefer older men as boyfriends, and it’s so easy and enjoyable to put myself in Harry’s place and think about how Severus would show his love and devotion. The difference between Severus the dungeon bat Snape and Severus helplessly in love Snape is so good, and it always makes me go “awwwwww Sev” when reading about it. Also I’m a brat sub and Harry is also a brat sub so

BROTP

Sev and Minnie!!!!!! +Albus and boom! The professor golden trio! But honestly I really believe Sev and Minnie’s relationship is the combination of mother—son, close colleagues, teacher—student and two bitches (positive meaning). They’ll just hangout in one them’s office and have tea and talk shit (mostly about Albus) and gossip. And I do headcanon that sometimes you can find Minnie in cat form chilling in Severus’ office or something. And Sev accidentally call her mom and went absolutely silent and Minnie just go and gives him a big hug? Beautiful.

3OTP

I can’t decide between Snucissa and Snackwolf(I don’t think there’s anyone else using this ship name but I like it). For snucissa I’ve mentioned in Narcissa’s post. As for snackwolf, it’s again, the enemies to lovers dynamic. Lupin and Sirius would be very protective and caring, while Severus constantly being (sort of) mean and (very) sarcastic to hide his feelings because he doesn’t know how to show them (and he doesn’t feel save showing emotions). And there’s loads of angst about these three, loads.(I do love angst very much)

Favorite part in the films/books

I CAN’T DECIDE!!!!! So here’s a list of some of my most loved parts:

Films:

The first potions class in Philosopher’s Stone

The “bitch what?” face in Philosopher’s Stone

The Dueling Club

DADA class in PoA

Fighting with Sirius in PoA

Climbing the ladder in his storage in GoF

Touching Albus’s back after Harry returned from the graveyard in GoF

The entire scene of reveling fake Moody in GoF

Smacking Ron in both GoF and OoTP

“No idea.”

Newspaper: flipped!

Healing Draco in HBP

Prince’s handwriting

“Nah, bitch”

Leading the death eaters out Hogwarts in HBP

“You dare use my own spell against me, Potter?”

Dueling Minnie in DH

The prince’s tale, smol Sev so cute

Book:

The first potions class

Cornering Quirrell in Philosopher’s Stone

DADA class in PoA

Occlumency classes & SWM (I have mix feelings about them, but that’s the reason that made me like him)

Making Bella believe him in HBP

First DADA class in HBP

Healing Draco in HBP

The Prince’s tale

I think that’s all, maybe, perhaps, probably, idk (it’s a lot I know)

Headcanon

I post a lot of headcanons but here’s one I think I’ve never posted before:

He used to stayed in Hogwarts for summer, in the first few years of teaching. Spinner’s End reminded him too much memories he wanted to forget. In those summers, he likes to take walks to the greenhouse and along the lakeside before sunset. He would also visit Minerva, who lived not far from the school.

There’s too much about Severus that I couldn’t fit in one single post. I REALLY love him🥺 I would consider him the most complicated character in the whole series, and the most human one. It took me some time to finally finish this post💚🐍

#severus snape #pro snape #ask game

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literallythebiggestfuckingsimp · 4 years

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Our Little Secret

description: you and rudy have been sneaking around for a while now, what happens when you get caught in front of thousands of fans?😳😳

warnings: making out?? ooo and swearing oops (as a british person i can’t just NOT swear)

Rudy’s lips smashed against yours, moving hungrily as his arms snaked around your waist. You gasped, arms moving to hook around his neck as he slipped his tongue in your mouth. You had to be on set in five, and you were just passing the time with your good friend Rudy in his trailer.

Between the two of you, neither of you were quite sure what you were. So far, all you guys had done was purely physical. Of course, there had been lingering touches, longing stares, stolen smiles. But you hadn’t talked about it.

It had started with flirty jokes, and then, boom! It just kinda happened, if you were being honest.

Not breaking the kiss, the two of you stumbled backwards until you bumped into the table. You jumped up and he took his pace between your legs, detaching his lips from yours and turning his attention to the skin on your neck. You moaned, heading rolling back to give him more access.

“Hey, Rudy? You in there?” Your eyes widen at the voice outside the trailer door, freezing both yours and Rudy’s movements.

“Uh, yeah?” Rudy says, clearing his throat.

“Why’s the door locked, toot?” You could practically see the suggestive smirk on Chase’s face.

“Cause I’m about to take a shit and I didn’t want anyone to come in here and smell that,” Rudy replies, looking at you with a grin on his face. You rest your head in the crook of his neck, pressing your face up to it to suppress your laughter.

Chase laughs. “Alright, then, but have you seen Y/N? I’ve been looking for her everywhere.”

“Nah, sorry bro,” Rudy calls out when you shake your head at him. “I’ve gotta take this shit or I’ll explode. See you in a sec.”

“It’s good, bro,” Chase replies. “She’s gotta be on set now, though. I’ll find her, don’t worry about it. Probably went off to craft services or something.”

You glare at the door where Chase is stood on the other end, but your eyes widen wen you realise you’re gonna be late to set.

“Cya, man,” Rudy says, helping you down from the counter as you pat down your hair. Chase mumbles a “bye”.

You two wait until it’s clear, giving Rudy a quick peck as you subtlety sneak out the trailer door once you’re sure Chase is gone.

As you walk - more like jog - away, you look back. Through the window you salute to Rudy, and he salutes back with a maniacal grin on his perfect face.

♡

You’ve just finished shooting for the day, and straight away, you headed over to see Rudy. He’d slid you a note earlier in the day to meet him at his trailer once you were done.

Arriving, you were immediately pulled into a kiss by by the blond headed bimbo who’d stolen your heart. You smiled against his lips, happily thinking about the fact that you could finally call him yours.

Around two weeks ago now you two had finally sorted through your shit and admitted your feelings for each other. However, you’d both decided it would be better if you kept your newfound relationship to yourselves. You didn’t want to make things awkward if it didn’t work out, and, besides, sneaking around was fun. “Think of it as our little secret,” you had said.

You pulled away from the kiss and he pouted. Laughing, you pecked him on the cheek and watched as a smile took over on his lips. Rudy’s arms situated themselves around your waist as he laid the two of you down on the makeshift sofa in his trailer.

Rudy was lying on your lap as you played with his hair, occasionally kissing him as some stupid ass movie played on the TV. It was a nice breather from all the crazy scenes you’d been filming and you couldn’t feel more relaxed.

Well, that was until there was a knock at the door. You wasted no time in rushing into the bathroom, hiding as Rudy went to answer the door.

“Yo, dude,” you hear JD greet and you mentally cuss him out.

“Uh, hey, JD, Maddie,” Rudy says. “What’s up?”

“Why’re you being so weird?” Maddie questions, confused as to why Rudy seemed hesitant about letting them in.

“Me?” Rudy asks, shaking his head. “Nah, I’m not being weird.”

“Whatever,” Madison huffs. You hear her and JD walk in and mutter profanities under your breath. Thank god you had picked up your phone from the sofa or you would be toast. “We wanted to watch a movie and you have the comfiest couch.”

“What’re we watchin?” Rudy asks, bouncing on his heels. Madison shares a look with JD, confused as to what the hell was up with him.

“I dunno,” JD shrugs. “I gotta take a tinker in your bathroom, though. I’ll be right back.” He says, and your eyes widen.

“No!” Rudy calls out, and you search frantically for an escape route. There’s a window, but it’s kinda small, you’re not sure if you’d fit. Fuck it, you think as you hear JD and Mads confront Rudy about being weird.

“I just mean ... it’s kinda rank in there,” Rudy says, scratching the back of his neck.

“Disgusting,” Madison mutters.

“I’ll just block out the smell,” JD shrugs. “I’m desperate, bro.”

Rudy silently prays to himself as you fumble about the bathroom, climbing on top of the seat. You put one leg through the window as the footsteps land right outside the door, and try to slyly maneuver yourself out with your phone in one hand. Your plan fails miserable and you tumble to the ground, landing in a bush.

“Fuck,” you mutter, sitting up and pulling leaves out your hair.

The door to the bathroom swings open and you run as fast as you can back to your own trailer. You ignore the confused looks of the crew members, and Drew calling your name as he sees you run past with twigs in your hair.

As soon as you get back to your trailer, you shoot Rudy a quick text.

I jumped out the window ;)

Jesus, Y/N. You good?

Yeah, just thank god for my super rad spy skills.

Sure, baby. Sure.

♡

You giggle as Rudy pushes you down on your bed, peppering your skin with kisses, making you laugh more.

Filming had ended and you were currently quarantined with the cast, stuck in yours and Madelyn’s apartment. After the release of the show, you had gained quite a big fan base and your time had been occupied with online interviews and live streams. You’ve barely had the chance to sneak around with Rudy, not wanting to raise any suspicions since fans had already started shipping the two of you, pointing out the way he looks and interacts with you, and vice versa.

You didn’t want to let your friends catch on. Not yet.

Swiftly, you flip you and Rudy over, straddling him as you pull him in for a passionate kiss. You must not have heard the footsteps creeping up to your room, or the door swing open as you kissed your boyfriend.

A quick shriek alerted you of someone’s presence. You scrambled away from Rudy, cheeks red and eyes wide. It was Madelyn, stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide. Clumsily, she dropped her phone, the object clattering to the floor

“Fuck,” Rudy mutters, pulling on his shirt as you put your hands over your face in attempt to hide you embarrassment.

Madelyn stands dead still, frozen to the spot. “Oh my god, guys, I am so so so sorry! I didn’t know you two were-”

By now, you had alerted the attention of Chase and Drew, who came running over at the sound of a scream. It didn’t take them long to connect the dots, between your rosy cheeks and swollen lips and Rudy’s messy hair and flustered appearance.

“Oh, shit,” Drew swore, eyes wide.

“Uh, guys ...” Madelyn spoke up, chuckling nervously. “I was on live and they saw ...” she motions between the two of you with her hands, “that.”

Honestly, you think you could’ve died, right then and there. You scramble to grab Maddie’s phone from the floor, seeing the comments screaming about what they had just accidentally witnessed and quickly end the live.

“I’m so sorry!” Maddie squeals, cheeks tinging red. “I was planning on scaring Y/N and I didn’t think Rudy would be in here, let alone that you two would be-”

You quickly cut her off, scratching the back of your neck and biting your lip. “It’s fine, Maddie. Seriously, don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah,” Rudy clears his throat. “You couldn't have known.”

“Uh, well,” Drew chuckles. “This is awkward.”

“Honestly, I’m gonna need a good few shots to erase the embarrassment of this moment from my memory,” you state, walking through the door and towards the kitchen where a bottle of vodka awaits you.

“I second that,” Rudy says, following you and lazily placing an arm around your waist.

Chase grins, watching the two off you. “So ... “ he trails off, gesturing between the two of you with his hand. “Are you two, yanno, together?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

You nod and Rudy smiles. “Yeah, we have been for a while now.”

“God, it’s about time!” Chase exclaims.

“You guys were pretty bad at hiding it,” Drew states, a grin of his own on his lips.

You mock fake offence, gasping as you poor the vodka into your shot glass. “We’ve been dating for four months, so, obviously not.”

Madelyn’s mouth hangs open. “Four months?!” she yells. “And you didn’t tell us?”

Rudy shrugs, kissing your cheek fondly. “Eh, it was pretty fun sneaking around.”

“Agreed,” you say, smiling up at him. He meets your gaze, pecking you on the lips.

“Ew, you guys,” Chase groans. “Just because you’re together now doesn’t mean you can be all openly affectionate.”

Madelyn whacks his arm, rolling her eyes. “Shut up, they’re cute.”

“Nah, they’re gross,” Drew jokes, laughing. “Anyway, I made Mama Starkey’s casserole. Who wants some?”

“Me!” you exclaim, grinning excitedly. If there was one thing you loved it was Mama Starkey’s chicken casserole. Also, eating and drinking would be a good way to get your mind off the fact that practically the entire world saw you on top of a shirtless Rudy, making out with him.

A/N: AHAHAH THE WAY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS SHDJSHJDH also pls excuse the crappy writing this was made at 4am last night😳

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tooruluv · 4 years

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Tobio Kageyama x F!Reader ( part 9 )

❝ goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished, but the book is closed. tell me, have we started a new one? ❞

description: it had been years since you and kageyama broke up. it had been years since the two of you left each other, hatred brewing. fate works in funny ways, you thought, as you caught his eye across the café. love works in funny ways, you thought, as you woke up in his bed the next morning, his fiance calling his phone.

genre: forbidden love, cheating, ex lovers, (all characters are aged up)

word count: 2,109

warnings/notes: im so sorry for the delayed update!! midterms have been kicking my ass. anyway. only one part left!

tag list: @kara-grayson04 @sadhwstudent @unlikelytigerqueen @kageyamavibes @monviemoo @tazzi-baby @1800xibal @amirahroronoa @lozzybowe�� @stinkybitch1919 @sillykittt @pinknugget @celamoon @bokutosworld @elianetsantana @chao01248 @vhskenma @yoitsseulgi @milegonzalez96 @doremifa-so-fucking-done @cuddlejeongin @yeahhemmings- @melanieacademy @killuaking @animewhore28

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The second that the words left Oikawa’s mouth, he was paralyzed. He hadn’t expected to say it. His eyes were wide, skin flushed and mouth agape. Surprise and regret immediately masked his anger.

He couldn’t even move as you turned and left.

Let’s paint the picture, shall we? You, a girl who still had an incredible amount of love for your ex boyfriend to the extent that you were comfortable being the mistress in his affair. Kageyama, said ex boyfriend who still had a lot of unresolved feelings for you to the point where he had considered (on more than one account) disregarding his entire upcoming wedding. And Oikawa, your best friend and fuck buddy for the past five plus years who had just accidentally revealed that he was, in fact, in love with you.

Let’s just say that you walked a lot that day.

You walked through the city until the sky turned dark. You walked along the neon lights, through the park, and back into the city streets. You walked near the water, you walked past hundreds of people. It was incredibly melodramatic.

It wasn’t until you realized that you were actually tired, and your feet hurt, that you sat on a bench. It was pretty secluded. The bench sat facing the water, the city behind it, and you did nothing but sit.

A body sat beside yours, on the complete opposite side of the bench with as much space as possible between you. You almost giggled to yourself, despite everything.

“Hey.” The person spoke, and you knew who it was. There was only one person on the face of the earth that would take it upon themselves to be that respectful to sit on the opposite side of the bench you were sitting alone at, at night.

“Hey, Hinata.” You looked up at him. He’d grown a lot since high school.

“You found my bench.”

“Your bench?”

He chuckled, making you smile. “No, not my bench. But the bench I like to sit at when I have a lot to think about.”

“So, you would sit and think about volleyball on this bench?”

“Yeah.” He smiled brightly. There’s something about Shoyo Hinata that made it impossible not to smile. “It’s really pretty here. And there’s a lot of good food behind us.”

You turned back to the water, eyes scanning for answers.

“I’m still in love with Kageyama.” You told him.

“I know.”

“And Oikawa just told me that he was in love with me.”

“Wait, really? Finally!” He stopped himself. “I mean. I knew that, too.”

“Does everyone tell you everything?”

“Yeah, usually.” He moved a little bit closer, but not by much. “If you think you know someone’s secrets, I’m sure I already know about it.”

“Even Tsuki?”

“You mean how Hana cheated on him with Kageyama and now you are going to the wedding with him, him being Tsuki, to make them both jealous?”

“Damn. You’re insane.”

“Nah, I’m just a short stack of secrets.”

Another bubble of laughter.

“You don’t plan to ruin the wedding, do you?” Hinata asked.

You shook your head. “No, no. We aren’t monsters. We just want to make the two of them shake in their boots a bit. There’s way too much money being spent for us to ruin the wedding. Besides, I would somehow end up being the one sending out apology letters to family and friends for coming.”

“Yeah that would be embarrassing.”

The wedding was the next day.

You didn’t go to the rehearsal, and even took it upon yourself to stay the night at Tsukishima’s.

When you arrived at his door with a bag (that you quickly snatched of necessities from Kageyama and Hana’s), Tsuki just opened the door and simply asked you to join him in watching a murder mystery podcast. You accepted.

“Why can’t I wear a fucking suit?” You complained as you shoved yourself into the nicest dress you owned. It was beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and hugged you in exactly the right places. You just hated the process of getting ready.

“Because you look great in that dress. Now hurry up because we don’t want to be the only ones late.”

You left Tsuki’s bathroom in full glam.

You watched Tsuki’s eyes shift from your chest to your eyes. You smirked. “I guess the dress works.”

“It definitely works.” Tsuki rolled his eyes, bringing his arm up for you. You linked your arm through.

“You guys have fun!!” Yamaguchi called from the living room. You waved as you walked by. “Holy shit, you guys look likes gods.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss.” You said.

“You’ve obviously never talked to him.” Tsuki scoffed. “We’ll be back later. Or, at least, I will be.”

“Don’t die. And don’t kill anyone!”

“No promises.”

Tobio Kageyama always thought that on his wedding day, you would be the one walking down the aisle in white.

He would never admit it; but to be completely honest, he had thought about it a lot during the duration of your relationship. He had imagined standing at the end of the aisle and you walking down, and kissing you as man and wife. It was a stupid imagination for a high school relationship, but he did imagine it.

He watched as you walked into the building by yourself. He was greeting everyone, welcoming them before the wedding and telling the women where to find Hana in her dressing room.

You were absolutely stunning in the most brilliant red dress he had ever seen. The wedding was white and blue, and you stood out in the most amazing way he had ever witnessed.

Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you turn to the door, where Tsukishima just entered. His stomach churns when he sees you greet him with a hug and the two of you laugh at something Tsukishima said. And he hates how evidently the man is your date.

He has to physically stop himself from chasing after you when you pull Tsuki by the hand and drag him through the sea of bodies to where a few members of the old volleyball team are (ie Hinata, Daichi, Suga, and Noya).

His heart leaps violently against the bones of his chest when a thought floods into his mind. The thought that you were with Tsukishima, the thought that you knew of everything that happened since you’ve been gone.

He felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

You kept yourself at Tsuki’s side the entire time.

There was a little get together before the actual wedding. Everyone just stood around and chatted with everyone that they only get to see once a year, greeting the groom and making him more nervous. After a bit, it would be time to sit down and watch the ceremony.

The thought made you want to eat dirt.

Tsuki put his hand on your waist and you looked up at him. The two of you were still in the middle of talking to the old volleyball boys, Hinata talking about his travels.

“He can’t take his eyes off of you.” Tsuki muttered into your hair. It wasn’t unnoticed by Daichi and Suga, who just exchanged a look (as they always seemed to be all knowing).

“Just wait until Hana gets her eyes on you.” You lean into his side. “She won’t make it down the aisle.”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, feeling the eyes of Kageyama on your back.

“The man of the hour.” Daichi spoke up.

Kageyama appeared beside you. Tsuki’s hand stayed on your waist.

“How are you feeling?” Suga asked, eyes shifting between you and him. You could swear he knew more than you could ever imagine.

“Good, good.” Kageyama plastered a fake smile on his face. “Just nervous.”

“Well that’s normal.”

“Can I borrow her for a second?” Kageyama turned to Tsukishima. You blinked. “I just have to talk to her for a second.”

“Yeah.” Tsuki let go of your waist. He sent you a look, basically telling you to fuck the shit outta him in the broom closet.

“I’ll be right back!” you sent them a smile.

Kageyama looked absolutely delicious in his suit. Black, with a little bit of blue accents throughout. It brought out his eyes. You couldn’t focus as you followed him to an empty room.

“Hey.”

“If you have something you have to say, you could’ve said it out there.”

“No I.” I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should just leave with you right now and run away and get married and live in a forest. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Instead, “What are you doing here with Tsukishima?”

“What do you mean? He’s my date.” You shrugged.

“Yes. But why?”

“You expected me to come to your wedding by myself?” You blinked. “Or, rather, you expected Tsuki to come by his lonesome?”

“No, I…”

“That’s a bit selfish, don’t you think Kags?” You felt anger rising in your chest. “To think that I can’t have a date to a wedding when you’re literally getting married.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” You were exasperated. “It’s incredibly clear how you think of me, Kageyama. But as for someone who will never be loved by anyone, it’s nice to go to a wedding with…”

“You’re loved by me!”

It was the first time in Kageyama’s life where he truly understood what earth-shattering silence was. It was deafening and loud; too loud. He stood there motionless as the howling of his blood pumping in his head, his heartbeat inside his chest. You were silent.

His world seemed to have stopped the second he had said those words to you. The moment those words left his lips, he wished to take them back. Not because they were lies, but because it was the first time he had said them in the most honest way possible.

You shook your head.

You shook your head and Kageyama’s world shattered. He knew that he had hurt you, over and over and time and time again. But he had done it. He had hurt you to the point that you would simply shake your head at the confession of his love.

Whatever was left of whatever the hell was still there was gone.

“Kags,” You closed your eyes. “You don’t. I’m not.”

“I do.” He reached for your hand. You backed away.

“Me and Tsuki coming to your wedding together was not to get you to tell me that you love me.” You were muttering. You were babbling. You couldn’t do this. “It was to get you jealous, yes, but.. not this. Maybe rile you up. Get Hana to admit her bullshit for sure. But not… not this.”

“I…”

“You are getting married today.” You reminded him. “To Hana. You’re getting married to her. Today. And I cannot do another confession like that.”

“Who else has confessed to you?”

“Oikawa.” You said before you could think.

“Tooru Oikawa told you that he was in love with you?” Kageyama laughed as though it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. You basically heard your heart break.

“See? That right there?” You headed for the door. “That’s why you can’t possibly be in love with me. You’re so fucking convinced that I can’t be loved by anyone because I fucking moved away in high school. Jesus, Kageyama, get over it!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He was literally wiping tears from his face. “It’s just. I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He stopped when he seen your face. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Seriously fuck you.” You moved to open the door to go back to your date and get ready for the ceremony. Because this was for Tsuki, not you.

You started to walk out, but turned to him with a glance over your shoulder. “By the way, I’ve been in love with you for years. This shouldn’t be new information.”

You didn’t stay to gauge his reaction.

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choco-mark · 4 years

Note

if you’re still open for the reactions and mtls, could you do ‘what they would get/do for you for your 1st anniversary’ please? i was debating whether or not to send in a second post but i ended up convincing myself to do it anyways bc i know writers block is just so annoying and if this is a way to help you out then i’ll gladly do so 💛

this is definitely a way to help my writer’s block so go ahead!!

mark

remembers it’s y’all’s anniversary the day before because jaemin jokingly said something along the lines of ‘you guys have been dating for too long’

kind of internally freaks because he has absolutely no clue what to do, and doesn’t know if you want to do fancy or casual like he’s going full mental breakdown

ends up taking to you to a local carnival because last minute plans, but y’all both love the energy so it was fun and a way for y’all to spend time together

had no clue what to get you and also didn’t have the time to get anything for you, so he ended up giving you one of his sweatshirts for long term (not like you steal them anyway or anything) but you didn’t really care because he was a gift himself :((

wins you one of those huge plushy stuffed animals from a water gun game and feels like a whole boss

has another mental breakdown when he sees you jumping up and down with that stuffed toy and cannot process that you are actually his girlfriend of an official year :(

tells you he loves you on the top of the ferris wheel while the fireworks are going off like ‘boom, i love you y/n, happy anniversary’ and then gets all shy because he usually doesn’t say things like that

y’all have a fun night after that ;)

renjun

was away on tour during y’alls first anniversary and feels like absolute shit because he wants to be with you so he flies over, yeah, fans are a lil confused but you were first priority

what was ten times worse was that you were sick and you didn’t tell him so there was like a mini argument that eventually ended up with him cuddling you for like three hours

you guys don’t even go anywhere, it’s just a cozy day at the (empty) dorm and y’all just made a lil meal together and it was just the two of you

took his time to make a polaroid collection of just you, there’re just a buncha candid pictures of you that you don’t really remember him taking at...all but there’s a little message at the end that puts all of junnie’s feelings into words and it’s just :(

has to fly back literally the next morning but he blows your mind that night hehe ;)

jeno

was a nervous pup for about a week prior to the anniversary date because he was just afraid nothing would go right :(

planned a whole picnic and even got renjun to cook for the two of you (also because he didn’t want to end up blowing up the dorm), and stresses over what he’s gonna wear like ‘will y/n like this??’ ‘nah, i look like shit’ and couldn’t sleep the night before because of it

but when he sees you all smiley when y’all walk down the street to the little field he had set up just for you, that’s when he finally relaxes and falls in love with you all over again

filled a jar full of candies and paper hearts that he cut out himself and has you go through them and read through the little messages he has on them, and then gets all shy from the way you find it really cute

makes love to you for the entire night and it’s just such soft sex because he’s so in love with you omg :(

donghyuck

went insane almost a week before trying to find you the perfect gift but feels like you wouldn’t like his gift and kinda gets frustrated

you guys already live together, so it’s not a surprise when you come home and see him laying draped across the bed with rose petals all over the floor and himself, while he’s just watching you get all shocked

you thought he was gonna propose to you from the way he was looking at you, but gives you a promise ring with his initials engraved in them and you cry because omg that’s :( even i’m upset while writing this, it’s just so pretty and the way he looks at you and promises to marry you in the future :(((

he didn’t really have a plan to do anything because he knows how tired you already are from your day and runs a bath for the two of you

yeah you guys end up fucking after that, but it’s slower than usual and he takes his time to make sure you’re properly pleasured ;)

jaemin

you already know jaem’s is a romantic lil shit, so he shows up at your house wearing the hottest suit you had ever seen on him, like ever, and is like, ‘get ready baby, we’ve got a long night ahead of us’

you guys end up missing your dinner reservation because he offers to help you get ready but he just ends up eating you out on the couch and doesn’t regret shit because he needed that

he takes you there anyway (and has to pay extra for his horny ass) and y’all are fine dining outside with the moonlight as your view, and there’s a nice lil river flowing underneath the bridge y’all on, yes he paid money for this, rich nana am i right?!

gives you a 24k gold necklace as a gift and you are about to explode from the way he’s fastening that shit around your neck when it’s literally worth more than you and you feel like a broke bitch for your gift to him

kisses on your way home :( and him just whispering to you every three seconds that he loves you, holding your hand, running his hand through your hair :(

and he eats you out for like two hours after that since the meal wasn’t enough ;)

chenle

cannot process that it’s been a year since the two of you started dating and isn’t sure if he should buy you a phone or a house, but opts out of both when renjun tells him not to objectify the gift too much

thinks about what to get you for so long and even searches up ideas (it’s his first anniversary ever, okay?!), and then thinks about your and his relationship deeply and then BOOM he knows exactly what to do

has mark help him write you a song, though he does most of the writing reminiscing on the whole year you guys had together and mark is shedding fake tears of ‘my son grew up’

you spend the night with him the day before and you wake up to him singing for you while watching you with the most love-struck eyes, and plays the whole song he wrote for you off his phone, while you’re like, bawling your eyes out from the way he sang your name

you guys don’t actually do anything except cuddle in his bed for hours after that, just softly talking to each other and stealing little kisses every now and then

jisung

has gone into cardiac arrest too many times for it to happen again, so he’s definitely not letting it happen on y’all’s anniversary!! right?! that’s right, confident jisungie in the house now!

thought about what he wanted to get you for so long, but his surprise is kind of ruined when he accidentally leaves it out when you’re over one day, and gets a lil flustered and upset but you didn’t see that much!!

bought you a huge hoodie, since you’re constantly wearing ones that are way too big for you or his own, but decided to go all artist jisung™ and stitches his name like in really baby font on the front :( and it comes out a lot better than he expected

overthinks it on the actual day and wonders if you think it’d be weird that he wrote his...name on your clothes, decides that it is weird, goes to discard of it but turns around and sits down because he had nothing else anyway

you love it anyway :( and you give him the phattest kiss after you put it on and yeah, his heart stopped beating for a lil watching you smile and giggle and all

his heart is doing flips everywhere in his body watching you and kinda just hugs you thigh like you’re his world (you are), and doesn’t let go of you until you give him another very requested kiss

#finished this after my writers block haha #answered #nct reactions #nct mlts #nct dream reactions #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jaemin fluff #jisung fluff #chenle fluff #jeno fluff #renjun fluff #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #mark lee #mark fluff #nct mark fluff

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years

Text

Homesquared Chapter 14

lol gotta love John’s enthusiasm of being part of the movers and shakers getting shot down cuz he hasn’t actually flexed his Main Character Muscles in quite a long time

though he’s honestly taking his mid life crisis very well all things considered, its good he cares more about his kids than anything else and I like the bond he’s getting to make with Harry, it’s nice!

Now what’s a million times funnier though is the same thing happening to Vriska, she is decidedly NOT taking her midlife “but but I want to be important too!!” crisis not nearly as well as John is haha

VRISSY: I guess you Did go Viral, 8ut the news moves so fast these days. I don’t think Any8ody is like...

VRISSY: Glued to their phones Waiting for your New Hashtag Resistance content.

Yeah Vriska, you’re so 15 minutes ago :P people have moved on

what, did you think you were going to be important forever?

VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?

to have a mid life crisis about not being important anymore obviously :P

VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books.

VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much.

VRISKA: Excuse me?

I Am Living For This Whole Conversation

VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY!

VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!!

JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there?

VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN!

JOHN: okay.

JOHN: do you girls want a snack?

ASJHGFSHFHWE yeah calm down Vriska have a snack

ahh, loving it

Turns out, History is written by the people who were left who decided to give a damn about writing it, and if those people Don’t Like you, they can just decide to not mention you, no matter who you are or what you did

All your “important” accomplishments are for naught and have become meaningless because you’re an asshole and other people didn’t like you enough to decide that you mattered in the long run

Congrats! Infamy doesn’t matter as much as Connection

Aww, cute with Annie getting hug bombed by her moms

Though, Rose definitely has a stronger bond with Annie than just being her surrogate it looks like

I understand this family situation just fine, if Annie really was just supposed to be a way for Jade to overcome her lonliness, and Rose was her only functional way and only person she could approach with this idea, and Rose responded out of care for her friend

Rose, shouldn’t really have a distinct mom attachment here, because then it implies a stronger than platonic relationship with Jade

but it could just be a great example of “this is why you don’t agree to create a child with your friend purely because said friend was crying out of lonliness out of failed relationship and wanted a child to fill that void of lonliness but who then shoves said child off the sidelines and doesn’t interact with her at all and leaves her in the hands and care of a supposed enemy and

yknow, I think I’m just gonna stop there before I remember Jake also knew about Yiffany existing so if the only ones who didn't know were John/Dave/Karkat and Kanaya then what was honestly the point of hiding her in the first place

Its not the fact that Yiffany exists that Im finding hard to believe, its just hows she treated narratively after she started existing thats stretching my rubber band into a dangerous area

“ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?

(its the latter)

“She stopped thinking about how she would be received, and more about how she could play to the people she knew would receive her favorably.

Looking up she sees Tavvy with tears in his eyes. Rage and guilt surge inside her. This situation is not her fault.”

Gotta Justify It. Gotta Justify It.

Doesn’t matter if I’m Right or Wrong, if enough other people validate me than Everything is Fine and I’m a Good Person.

JANE: So before you accuse me, take a look at yourself!

JANE: I'm the only one who has taken any interest in her upbringing or education!

JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society?

JADE: i never asked you to do that!

JADE: you offered!

Okay but Jade, you DID let Jane have Annie in the first place and then presumably washed your hands of her, when supposedly the only reason Annie exists is because you wanted a daughter with whom you could have a loving relationship with

You gotta, explain you’re thinking there Jade cuz I still don’t get this bit

Though in thinking about it, I think I know why this happened

Jade grew up isolated from any person, but still loved her grandfather, despite his absence

to her, family relationships didn’t involve any sort of personal work, they were just things she had because she had them

did she just believe the same would happen for Yiffanny? that she could paradoxically still have a relationship despite long absences? Annie doesn’t seem to have any resentment here for Jade or Rose so I mean ???

“ If they were to kill Tavros, the entire world would see them commit this war crime. And weighed in the balance, Lalonde and Harley would be off the playing board. Saving your daughter certainly counted as a heroic death, and with the damage they'd done to humanity, it would also probably be just. “

She hates them both so much she’d let Tavros die for it

But also, she really does calculate everything in terms of how the Masses would view their actions as Just or Heroic

so yeah, she was absolutely about to let Tavros die, damn Jane

literally the only thing that stopped you was that Jake viewed the threat as a real threat and was about to do something stupendously Heroic to save Tavros and you decided you didn’t want Jake to die a heroic death

On the flipside, oh damn, Yeah Vriska’s going full throttle right on the nose ahead with the obvious audience expectation, that there gonna make another sburb session and get the obvious group of important 4 kids to god tier

that’s clearly the path vriska wants and expects, but hey, just imagine if what Vriska wanted to happen didn’t happen this time, imagine if the kids were just like “nah im good?” when it comes to a god tier

The narrative is making it super clear that at least 3 out 4 kids are kinda not feeling all the outdoorsy action and excitement of a game of life and death

Annie though I could hella see her down to play sburb and get a god tier, shes got that whole “isolated childhood trauma and parental issues pressure cooking her a strong will to take her life into her own hands” energy

Vriska, go see Annie, her strong willed butt is more of the action girl you’re looking for I think

At least if they do end up playing the game and getting the tiger, Annie feels like the first one to do it or the action catalyst of their session, like how Vriska was for hers, or Dirk for the alphas, or

hmm. who was is that kinda, moved things along for the Beta’s again? I think it was Rose, but Dave did a ton to move things along as well, but also their trolls like Terezi and them gave everything big nudges, I think Rose counts as the equivalent Beta in session mover and shaker though

Side note: the panels with vrissy and vriska here very feel cartoonish and light hearted, interesting choice

but it does give off Major “Play Game: Level 1″ vibes if that makes sense

What the fuck is with the Dave Soldiers

I mean, they look more like Red Johns?Jakes? with the black hair

the glasses throw me off though-

UHH DID THEY JUST FUCKING KILL HARRY ANDERSON??

HOLD ON. HOLD UP

TAVROS AND ANNIE: WITH ROSE/JADE/JAKE/JANE

VRISSY: WITH VRISKA DOWN BELOW

HARRY: WITH JOHN. ON JOHN’S COUCH.

JOHN IS ALSO STILL HERE, MEANING HARRY SHOULD BE WITH HIM.

yeah he literally just went outside for a second to see where the V’s went and then the house gets bombed, and we get three whole panels dedicated to John slowly sitting down in the wreckage

Harry Anderson just got fucking killed holy shit.

oh my god, they were leading up to it too.

We just had three seperate death flags for the other 3 kids in a row

Brain Ghost Dirk warned Jake that Annie was gonna die via electrocution unless he stepped up

Jane was gonna let Tavros die vie neck snapping (even though Kanaya really wouldn’t have)

Vriska and Vrissy discuss god tiering, and what it would mean for Vrissy, death is a subtle implication there but still there

Now to see if Jane’s ever revived Harry Anderson before in the next update I suppose :o

*edit*

They did not kill Harry Anderson, I saw pumpkins in front of the house that got exploded and didn’t see it looks different than the other bland white suburban house that John actually left, so no one died, Harry just got his implied death threat turn

Harry is at Roxy’s House, John sits in the smoldering ashes of his childhood home, languishing in the idea that Jane, the girl who might have in another reality been his loving grandmother, actually wants him and his kids dead for realsies

he never really got to sit and think about the hole where his home was that the meteor struck when he entered sburb huh? (I know his house came with him, giving the allusion all was well in the Medium, but a real meteor still struck the place that he stopped existing on OG Earth, to an outside observer, it would look like a meteor destroyed his home)

with Vriska talking about sburb to Vrissy, it is nice imagery to imagine the implications of the Kids god tiering from Earth C

and the destruction left in their wake

#Homesquared #Harry Anderson Egbert #RIP Son #John does not have good luck with family and explosives

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kayliemusing · 3 years

Text

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

#survey

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prose-for-hire · 4 years

Text

Roses are overrated anyway

Pairing: Gunn x fem!reader

Request: not requested. This is a sort of second part/after the end of ‘a rose between two thorns’ because I feel like Gunn was too secondary. Gunn and reader go on a date and end up stepping into an alternate dimension (because my brain wouldn’t let me just write a date without getting carried away with a backstory) 💖

Warning: Mention of falling from a great height. Reader feels nauseous (not sure if that needs a warning but better to be safe). One swear. Fighting.

You were still seething from the day you had, the only saving grace being you knew someone would be walking in that door in about 30 seconds time that would improve your mood. Your date.

He walked in, the same swagger he’s had since you met - the only difference now was that he dressed smarter now. You used to visit Angel investigations during your summer breaks from college - calling it work experience. You kinda missed how he used to dress - his hoodies had been very comfy. He used to let you borrow them when you had accidentally on purpose left your jacket in the office and you needed to go out and find a demon in the middle of the night. He gave you that smile that he used his entire face to convey. His eyes filled with you, someone he truly loved. So how could he not smile so deeply even if he was just saying hello?

“Hey, how’s my favourite girl?” Gunn asked with a smile that told you he really cared.

“Don’t tell me that, what if I fall in love?” You asked fake-swooning so that he slid a hand to rest on the small of your back as he chuckled. You giggled and pushed him slightly as a lighthearted warning. You tried to avoid the eyes that were boring into the pair of you from behind the glass of Angel’s office. Gunn’s eyes looked over at them momentarily and he gave them a why are you staring look but his attention was quickly on you again. He had always been heavy on the flirting, you were both used to speaking like that but now was the first time you had actually both been in the place to try dating. You were both attracted to each other and you basically told him everything - which is why you had both probably been so reluctant. You didn’t want to lose him, he meant a lot to you. “That would be a bad thing?” He asked before gesturing with his head that you should probably get going. He was already in a suit and you decided your work clothes would have to do. Nothing says first date like an outfit described as being meringue-like you decided. You had gone to vent to Fred about the constant and somewhat unwanted attention from Angel and Spike. Not that you weren’t fond of the pair, but their competitive streak was wearing a little thin. You could sense the sexual tension the way they could sense the blood beating around your body. Your talking eventually turned to Gunn. You and Fred were close and she has given you her blessing that it wouldn’t be weird for her if you and Gunn started dating (although she was a little disappointed thinking she had built Angel up for rejection with you as she had been so encouraging of him asking you out).

As if the Powers themselves had blessed your relationship, Gunn had run into you in the elevator and had taken his chance to ask you out. You almost fainted in excitement but chose instead to agree and plan something for tonight seeing as both of you were free and you really needed a distraction from your day.

He told you he’d come and pick you up from your desk and wished you luck for dealing with the vampires once you finally returned from the longest paid lunch hour in history.

“Where should we go?” You asked, smiling as he ushered you out of the building.

“I know a place” he winked, tugging you to follow him down the road. You had been walking for about ten minutes, Gunn had been filling you in on his day as you walked. Conversation always flowed so easily between you. There was a brief flash of light. Blink and you would have missed it. But both shrugged it off and carried on walking, you were so engrossed in the conversation.

He pulled you down a darkened alleyway that you thought nothing of, Sunnydale was a good 90% alleyways with little to no lighting. He stopped and turned, smiling. His face on one side and his nose scrunching that way that you loved. He turned and looped his arms around your waist, not able to stop grinning at you. That he finally had you to himself. You could just make it out in the dark. It made your heart quicken and butterflies erupt, making a home in your stomach. You had never felt so cared for before. He had no ulterior motives, he just wanted you for you. His smile making the corners of your lips quirk upwards too.

You both just stood there, your faces so close he could feel your breath on his face. He looked at your lips and then back up to meet your eyes. Your grin widened when his did. You started to lean in, hands sliding up his chest. Lips almost brushing his. This was already the best date and you hasn’t even arrived and sat down yet. You could stand there in his arms forever, savouring this moment for the rest of time.

Just as your lips were about to meet, a bright green light flooded the area. Much like the flash of lightning you had ignored moments earlier.

“Aliens? Do we have aliens now?” You asked, moving closer against his side.

“Nah, if aliens were real we’d be all over it. My implant and your crazy receptionist brain would know for sure” he said quickly. His implication that your receptionist brain basically knew everything there was to know about the supernatural and wolfram and hart. More than half of the lawyers, you might add. He has told you how good you were at your job multiple times (he found it especially cool as you just managed to adapt to anything). He would always compliment you that way and it never failed to make you smile. You always felt so appreciated by him. He always valued you, he never belittled you or saw you as “just Angel’s PA that everyone seemed to have a crush on”. He genuinely cared, no matter what the situation. You looked around, waiting for something to happen. And just as you started to give up, the ground shifted beneath your feet and you both started to fall.

You were both falling forwards, the surroundings a glowing neon light that you could see whether you closed your eyes or not. You reached for him, but he was too far away. You tried to shout for him, but no sound would come out. You couldn’t see, but he was doing the same for you. Trying to make sure you were safe. There were silver ripples of light, as if tearing the fabric of green light apart as you tumbled further down. The silver became more vibrant until it was the only colour you could see. The air whipped around you with such force you started to become dizzy. You were afraid you would throw up everywhere. the sickness took over your entire body until you were contorting in pain.

Then it all went black.

You were no longer in pain. There was fresh air. It smelt of salt and overturned soil. You realised you were looking down from above. You were falling towards a flat surface. Concrete. You panicked, trying to slow your descent. You had fallen into an alternate universe. You landed hard on your hands and knees, as did Gunn who had been right beside you the entire time. You both looked at each other, hissing in collective pain. You moved towards him and clasped a hand to his. He squeezed your hand, a comforting gesture. One you needed, as a figure made his presence known from the shadows.

He looked human. Except his skin was a deep purple, his eyes the shame luminous green as had surrounded you only moments before. He had visible veins popping out of his skin and he was wearing an old baseball cap and what appeared to be several items of smart-casual clothing from different human decades of fashion. As if he had raided the lost-and-found.

”Who are you?”

”Your worst nightmare” he smirked. You rolled your eyes, you had heard that one before. And thus far, it hadn’t been true.

”Kronak demon. Dimension shifting demon. On retainer for Wolfram and Hart since the early 1900s but lost their contract when- well, when we took over” he shrugged. Gunn had been the one to finalise the paperwork.

“Yes, you found the loophole to terminate our little agreement. If we don’t have the support of your firm, things tend to become a little... messy. Unfortunately, your mate shall be the first to pay”

“Hey! I’m not just his mate! I work too! I probably notarised the fucking document!” You insisted, although you realised halfway through your outburst that keeping silent probably would have been the better option. You looked back at Gunn sheepishly, who just smirked. You hadn’t denied being his mate.

“Your mate looks like a meringue and she... smells like one too” he stated, not addressing you directly. Apparently he meant this as an insult on both counts. You scowled, looking down at your work outfit and deciding if you ever got out of here, the first thing you would do when you got back to your apartment was burn it. You both just stared at the eccentric looking demon, so he spoke again, “Consider this your date with destiny” he sneered and both you and Gunn exchanged a look that read ‘can you believe this guy’. It felt as if you were in a fever dream. It felt like he was manufactured straight from the build-your-own-villain workshop.

“I’m from Sunnydale, my date with destiny has been permanently postponed” you stated as Gunn snickered at your phrasing. He liked how tough you could be married with the sweet-natured woman he has met those years ago. He had expected to have to protect you when he first met you but soon found out you had some moves of your own (you lived in Sunnydale it was that or just lay down in the street after dark and let the demons take you).

The Kronak demon started to back you both against a wall. The wall now grey fencing with barbed wire wrapped around it, rather than the usual brick that had been there before the dimension shift.

“What’re we gonna do?” you hissed, your hand still desperately grasping to his. You swore it must have been breaking his bones but he didn’t complain once. he just wanted you to know he was right by your side.

“It’s cool. I gotta plan”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah - Run!”

He pulled your hand with him and you did. You ran through the cobbled streets and narrow pathways. You jumped over turnstiles and ducked under hedges to try and find a way to well, anywhere. The most unusual thing you noted is that there were no buildings. No concrete structures. You could see land for miles. there were massive holes in the ground, as if gigantic moles had taken over. It was unnerving. The only thing in the entire area that was built up, was the cemetery.

You both turned into the gates, ducking behind a large mausoleum. You huddled together, whispering. You hated cemeteries. Sunnydale had been full of them and you had to excuse yourself if patrolling had brought you there for too long than necessary. They gave you the creeps and reminded you of not only any losses you had experienced, but of the loss that others felt whenever they had to visit. You told Gunn about this, so softly he might have missed it if he hadn’t been paying attention. But he was, even through his panting from running, he was focused on you. Only you.

He understood and so he opened up to you. he hated cemeteries too. Because of his sister. She didn’t get a proper burial. He had to stake her. You almost choked up, you had never heard this story before. He told you about it all. You wrapped your arms around him as he spoke, willing him to feel the comfort. He spoke of how it made him feel while you hid together. Only the light of the moon guiding your path to this place of death. You started shivering and he took his suit jacket off, draping it around your shoulders. You shrugged it around you as best you could and moved to rest your head against his shoulder. This could be a long night.

You had both fallen asleep, leaning against each other. You had both agreed to take it in turns to keep watch but one of you must have dozed off during your hour. You were woken by a horrific shriek, one that almost burst one of your eardrums it was so piercing. You both jumped awake, getting up to find three purple mole-men squaring up.

You both stood, back-to-back, your fists raised ready for a fight. If you were going down, you were both going down fighting. With any luck, the demons would be distracted by your horrible outfit and allow you to get some offensive attacks in.

Gunn started to attack any that he could reach, his well-practiced punches landing almost every time. You traded blows too, even took off your shoes and threw them at the demons that had been lunging at you.

You slowly walked a circle, still with your backs facing the other so that you could defend each other the best you could. One ran to tackle you but you grabbed him by the t-shirt and tugged. This left you with a handful of soil-stained material and the demon slightly colder than he was before. There had been at least six joining the fight, but you had thinned the original three.

”That thing - in there. We need it” Gunn dropped his voice for you, before going back in with a punch at one that had run at him. You looked and he had gestured to the bare chest of the demon you had just ripped the t-shirt off of. His chest had an opaque circular compartment, as if you should be able to see his organs. It looked like one of those glass cases that you were supposed to break in case of an emergency. Inside this compartment, was a golden sceptre. The kind royalty would hold whilst sitting atop a throne. That was the key to leaving here.

Of course, the one thing you needed would have to be some impossible to access object that you would have realistically not chance in reaching now that it was a six-on-two fight.

You manged to duck at the right moment and send one of the demons flying into the other, knocking them both to the ground. One popped up straight away but the other was leaking a bright liquid, like a faulty glow-stick. Must be blood, you figured.

Gunn had taken a shovel from one of the grave sides and used it as a weapon as you carried on using your fists. You had managed to kill the rest through working together. The final mole-man, the one that held the dimension key (the sceptre inside his chest), was now on the floor. Decapitated by Gunn’s shovel. He pulled a face, but still reached inside the demon, his arm now dripping with glow-stick coloured goo. He pulled the golden sceptre out and handed it to you, to your dismay.

“Should get us back” he gestured with his head to the sceptre you were holding that was now glowing an unnatural neon green.

“Roses are overrated anyway” you started to smile, inspecting the object.

“You know it” he said, but he was frowning slightly. He had wanted things to go well, or at least better than tonight had. He knew he had feelings for you for a while, finally able to ask once he found out from Wesley that you weren’t trying to pick between Angel and Spike but instead hoping for the affection of someone else. But the fight never seemed to stop, and he couldn’t even have one night off to explore your feelings together. Although, tonight had showed him that you trusted him implicitly. That you had at least wanted to kiss him. And that he could trust you beyond anything he had ever let himself before. You were the one, he was sure of it. Nevertheless, he was still frowning slightly.

“Hey, I mean it. This, just being here with you - I wouldn’t want to spend my time almost-dying with anyone else” you insist - smiling that smile he had always loved.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely”

“We could stick around check out the bars?” You both looked around at the now desolate land that surrounded you with no buildings in sight - let alone bars.

“I think it’s time to go...” you smile softly, his eyebrows raised at your words. He leaned in, his lips catching yours. The adrenaline still pumping through you now slowly becoming replaced by something new. A light, airy feeling as if you had both discovered something new, that in reality had always existed between you. A sweet, all-encompassing love. You gripped the sceptre in one hand - you had to, but the other hand slowly slid round his side and up his back. He moved in further, cupping your cheek with one hand and holding the sceptre with the other. You were both now subconsciously gripping each other tighter than the glowing object. The most important thing in any dimension being this kiss. This heavenly revelation. An enlightenment only the two of you would ever share. You knew instantly that you loved this man, you couldn’t even attempt to hide it.

By the time you broke apart from your kiss, you were back in the alleyway you had been when you had almost-kissed earlier. You both pulled apart, somewhat reluctantly and slightly breathless. You had felt butterflies whenever he looked at you anyway, but now there was an entire colony inhabiting your stomach. it was fate, you had never been more sure of it.

Something about the way he looked at you after that kiss would remain ingrained in your mind forever, as if you were his entire world. Perhaps this really had been your date with destiny.

#Charles Gunn #Gunn #Charles Gunn x reader #Gunn x reader #Charles Gunn imagine #Gunn imagine #ats #angel the series #btvs #ats x reader #ats imagine #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffyverse #female reader #sequel #mention of spangel #Charles Gunn x you #Angel #buffy the vampire slayer imagines

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disappearinginq · 4 years

Text

Look, I’m just saying that the writers are totally missing out on some hilarity with the ‘fake relationship’ constantly between Higgins and Magnum. Behold, the closest thing to fluff that I will ever, ever write.

“No, Magnum. I refuse. I’m not pretending to be your girlfriend again,” Higgins huffed, rolling her eyes.

Thomas shrugged. “Fine. I’ll get my husband.”

Juliet almost choked on her drink. “I beg -”

“Rick!” Thomas shouted, sliding down the bar, leaning heavily on his elbows.

“Marry me.”

Rick snorted. “That is the worst proposal ever, Thomas. You expect me to swoon over those puppy-dog eyes and sly come hither stare? No. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“What do you want, a ring and flowers?”

“Maybe I’d like something better than a demand from across the bar. Huh? Ever think about that?”

Thomas sighed dramatically, before pulling his entire upper body across the bar, grabbing Rick’s hands and clenching them in his own. “Rick, my bestest and oldest friend -” he ignored the indignant squawk from TC “…would you do me the honor of being my unlawfully not-quite-wedded husband for the afternoon for a case?”

Rick cocked his head to one side, considering, before he shook his head. “Mmm…nah. I’m not feeling it. This is your fourth marriage proposal to me, Thomas. If I gotta make other people believe, I gotta believe.”

“So demanding. For this, I expect your performance to be Oscar worthy.” Thomas turned around, walked over to the jukebox, and after several seconds of scrolling found what he wanted. As he turned around, the first few notes of Gary Puckett’s Lady Willpower came across the stereo.

Lip Sync Battle had nothing on a sarcastic Thomas Magnum and a 1960’s American pop ballad.

To his credit, Rick remained unimpressed until a very, very dramatic Thomas grabbed him in an impressive dip - she was honestly surprised he didn’t accidentally drop Rick - for the refrain of ‘it’s now or never, give your love to me and I’ll shower your heart with tenderness, endlessly’, where he promptly burst out laughing and shoved Thomas away from him.

“Fine, fine, fine, you godless drama queen. I’ll get someone to watch the bar while we fake date…where are we going?”

“Hotel. Have to catch a cheating wife in the act.”

I get it, fine, they’re clearly aiming for an endgame, but I’m just saying that Rick would be a more convincing sell on undercover ops. And no, I am not accepting that the constantly bickering couple is going to be less noticeable than a gay couple.

#magnum pi 2018 #magnum pi reboot #thomas magnum #rick wright #you cannot convince me that it would not go down like this #or that Rick wouldn't be able to sell it #and it gets Higgins out of having to put up with PDA that she clearly doesn't like #because she's british #and only shows affection for dogs and horses #or so I have been told

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picturetoburnnn · 5 years

Text

Sweater Weather | C.H. x Reader

word count - 2.4k+

warnings - insecurity i guess?? idk

propmt - I was hoping you could do one where you’re cared to wear values clothes? Like you see Sierra and crystal wearing Michael and Luke’s clothes but you’re nervous that claim won’t want you to? (theres more but for the sake of length i’ll tag the request here !!

a.n. - long time coming!! life majorly got in the way, i did my best to get this done as fast as i could while still keeping the quality. accidentally got carried away. hope yall love it

ps we are pretending calum still has his curls in this fic because that was my favorite

tags - @songforhema @asht0ns-world @lukesflaredpants @sunflowerxcal @star-gazing-calum @cxddlyash @emomack @merryblueberry02 @kinglyhood @caswinchester2000 @babe-babylon @irwinkitten @1delicate-fangirl dm me to be added!!!

“You always look so cute in my clothes,” Luke whispers with a smile as he presses a kiss to Sierra’s temple. Sierra smiled giddily, bringing her sweater paw hands up to her face. The couple looked adorable cuddled up on the couch, sunlight stumbling over their figures with a throw blanket haphazardly thrown over their laps.

I frowned, looking down to my feet.

Cal’s clothes probably wouldn’t even fit me.

“Hey,” Calum slung his arm over my shoulder. “You okay?” He asked, big brown eyes full of concern.

“Yeah.” I plastered on a fake smile, meeting his gaze. “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“I’m fine, Cali,” I chuckled.

He didn’t look convinced, but relented. His arm fell from my shoulder to my waist as he tangled his feet with mine on the loveseat.

The open windows blew autumn air into the living room in Ashton’s house, a gentle chill filling the air. Luke, Sierra, Michael, and Crystal were all lounging on the sofa, leaving Ashton with the recliner chair (“Fine by me, thank you very much,” he huffed).

The end credits rolled, leading just about everyone to a stretch break. As Crystal stood, I couldn’t help but notice how she wore Michael’s sweatpants.

He’s never even offered to let me try on one of his shirts. He probably doesn’t want me to.

Calum stood, stretching his arms behind his head, shirt riding up to show a tiny bit of his adorable tummy. He leaned down with a groan, placing his hands on the couch’s backrest on either side of my head, boxing me in. “I’m gonna step outside for a smoke break, okay baby?”

“Okay,” I whispered, smiling at him.

He gave me a quick kiss before standing up, motioning for Ashton to come outside with him.

“Do you know if we have any more blankets?” I asked the two couples. “It’s kinda chilly in here.”

Luke answered, “I think the rest of Ash’s blankets are in the wash, but I’ve got one of Cal’s old hoodies in my car. I’ll go grab it for ya.”

“Oh no, really, it’s not a big--”

“Nah, I’ll go grab it.”

Before I could say another word, he’s out the door. Idle chatter filled the room until the singer’s return. He dropped the green Empathy hoodie in my lap, mumbling a quiet “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” I grinned up at him, trying to hide my worry. How would Calum react to me wearing his clothes? Would he be mad? I put my arms through the sleeves and pulled it over my head. Guess I’m about to find out.

A few minutes pass before Calum and Ashton come back inside. I sat on the loveseat, scrolling through my phone when I heard the back sliding door open. I looked up, and my heart fell.

Calum was staring at me, shocked. I knew he didn’t want me wearing his stuff. I tore the green hoodie off my body faster than I’ve ever taken anything off before, muttering a small ‘sorry’ as I dropped the ball of fabric on the sofa. I stood up quickly, rushed past Calum into the hallway, made a sharp left to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. The ground swayed beneath me as I slumped down, my back against the door as I balled my fist against my mouth, trying to silence the impending cries.

I wasn’t about to cry in front of my boyfriend and his friends.

Of course I wasn’t supposed to wear his stupid shirts. They’re HIS, not mine. What made me think otherwise?

“Y/N, baby, what’s wrong?” His lovely voice drifted through the door.

“Go away, Cal. I’m sorry,” I whimpered, tears choking me.

“Sweetheart, open the door.”

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see.

“Y/N.” Calum’s voice sounded more desperate than anything I’d ever heard.

Perhaps it was that exact desperation that led me to silently twist around and unclick the lock. Within an instant, Calum was standing in the doorway, looking down on my crumpled form. He knelt down, moving to put his arms around me.

Silently, I pushed his arms away. The gesture was sweet, but suffocating.

“Can you please take me home?”

“Tell me what’s wrong, baby,” he pleaded.

“I wanna go home,” I whispered, hands shaking as I wiped my tears.

A deep sigh. “Okay,” he relents. “We can go back home.”

He walked me silently to the car, waving off the concerned questions from our friends. The drive was a silent one, leaving me to break the quiet. The clock on the dash read 4:46.

“Can you please take me to my place?”

Calum all but slammed on the brakes. “W-what? Baby, all your stuff is at my house.”

“I just… I really think I need to be there tonight,” I sniffled.

Calum nodded, but I could see it hurt him to do so.

Great. Not only did I wear his things, I also hurt his feelings. God, what a mess I am.

He pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex. “Are you sure, Y/N? Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No.” I shook my head, sniffling again as I opened the door. “I’ll be fine.” It didn’t feel as if I were moving as I climbed out of the car.

“Hey,” he called before I shut the door. “I love you.”

I nodded, then swung the door shut.

~~~

Calum called Ashton on the drive back home.

“So what happened?” His best friend asked.

“She isn’t telling me!” Calum exclaimed, one hand on the steering wheel, the other rubbing his forehead.

“But she asked me to drive her back to her place. The only times she stays there is if I’m out of town and you’re taking care of Duke. She always stays with me.”

“And you didn’t do anything that you can think of?” Ashton’s voice held no malice, but Calum felt the underlying implication.

“She won’t tell me. I don’t want to press her, I’m sure she’ll tell me when she’s ready, but I’m worried about her. I was so happy to finally see her wearing my stuff, but she whipped it off and ran to the bathroom. She seemed on the verge of a panic attack when she finally opened the door for me. I love her, man, and it hurts she won’t tell me what’s wrong. ”

“I don’t know, Cal. I’ll see what I can get her to tell me.”

Calum’s heart ached. Why couldn’t she just talk to him? He loved her, just wanted her to be okay, but she shut him out? What was wrong? What had happened? What thought wormed its way into that pretty little head of hers and made her shut down completely?

~~~

It was almost eleven p.m. when my phone rang, lighting up my nightstand in the black. I picked it up, not even checking the caller ID, desperate for some distraction from this empty feeling inside.

“Hello?”

“Y/N,” Ashton sighed in relief. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

I swallowed. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not, girl, and it’s okay. Tell me what happened.”

And the floodgates opened. I poured my heart out, everything that went through my mind came rushing past my lips before I could think twice.

“I was just cold,” I choked out. “I wanted a blanket, but Luke said all he had was one of Calum’s sweatshirts so I put that on. Crystal and Sierra are always wearing Mike and Luke’s clothes but Calum’s never once even mentioned it to me so I figured he didn’t want me to. I was afraid to put on the stupid hoodie in the first place, but I did anyways cause I fugured ‘what’s the harm,’ right? He comes back in with you and he’s looking at me as if his entire world just came crashing down around him. I knew I shouldn’t have worn that freaking green sweatshirt. It’s his, not mine. I didn’t need to be wearing it - I shouldn’t have been wearing it. But I did, and he looked so upset that I panicked and almost accidentally threw myself into an attack. He’s right to not want me wearing his stuff. I’d probably just stretch it out and make it unwearable for him.”

Ashton was silent for a moment. “You really think that?”

“Yeah,” I coughed out between cries.

“Y/N…” Ashton breathed. He went on in the calmest voice he could muster. “He was… overjoyed to see you in his clothes.”

I could have sworn I stopped breathing.

"Honestly, he’s never been more in love than he is with you. And I know for a fact that all he’s ever wanted is for his love to tell him they’re his in the subtlest ways. That includes wearing his shirts. It’s something he’s wanted since the beginning of your relationship, when he realized he loved you.”

A beat of quiet. No sounds could be heard but the ticking of the clock on the wall.

“You still there?”

“I’m so stupid,” I breathed.

“No, you’re not. Just a little oblivious. He’s worried sick about you, though. He told me you’re at your place instead of his?”

“Yeah.”

“If it’s because you think you cause him difficulties or struggles or are the source of his problems, I can guarantee you that is not the case. I‘ve never seen him happier than he is when he’s with you. You brought him joy when he was in his darkest spots. He loves you, Y/N. And I know you love him too.”

I stayed quiet, thinking about what he just said.

“Y/N?”

“I gotta go.” I hung up the phone right then.

~~~

Hours of contemplation later, I finally came to a conclusion. Grabbing my phone, I ordered an Uber, sliding on my shoes and scrambling for my keys.

I waited for just a few minutes before I got the notification that the car had arrived. The driver was kind enough to understand that I wasn’t in the mood to talk, and offered the aux cord to me. I kindly refused, thanking them for the offer.

“Let me know if you need anything,” they said softly as they began the drive to Calum’s.

I bounced my leg up and down in anticipation. Was he mad at me? Would he understand? Is he upset that I didn’t understand?

I spent the majority of the drive trapped in my thoughts. I didn’t process the vehicle pulling up to the curb until the driver gently said, “Miss?”

That snapped me out of my reverie, snapping my head to the window. “Oh, thank you so much. Sorry about that.”

I put a ten dollar bill on the center console. “For you,” I smiled quickly, and was out of the car before they could argue.

I braced myself against the cold, crossing my arms and rubbing my biceps. In the rush to get here, I forgot a sweater (yet again). As I stepped onto the porch, I knocked before I could think about what I was doing. As seconds passed, I started second guessing myself. This was stupid. He probably isn’t even awake.

Before I could turn around, the door flung open. “Y/N?”

His hair was a tousled mess, as if he had constantly been running his fingers through it - something I always knew he did when he felt stressed. His eyes were shadowed by dark circles that hadn’t been so prominent earlier in the day.

I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder. After just a moment’s hesitation, he reciprocated.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his sleeve. “I should have come home, I’m sorry.”

His hand ran over my hair as he gently shushed me.

I pulled away, snifiling.

“You catching a cold, angel?” His hands held my face as he looked me over. “Let’s get you inside, sweetheart.” I nodded, crossing the threshold with him hot on my heels.

The door shut. “Wh-”

“I thought you were mad at me,” I blurted, spinning to face him. “For wearing your sweatshirt. “That’s why I acted like that. I thought you didn’t want me in your stuff, that you were upset at me for it. I threw it off and ran because you thought I’d stretch it out and make it unwearable again. I was cold and that’s all Luke said he had so I just took it, y’know? Ashton called me and told me I was wrong, though. I wanted to say sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

Calum stared at me for a minute before letting out a breathy chuckle that eventually turned into a full belly laugh.

“Okay,” I say only half-jokingly. “I poured my emotions out there and you’re laughing.”

“Baby,” he wheezes. “Why would you ever think I’d be mad for something as small as that?”

“I don’t know,” I say quietly in my stubborn voice, pouting. “That’s just how my brain works.”

Calum puts his hands on my arms, smiling at me. “Y/N. I love you. Very, very much. I would be eternally happy to let you wear my sweatshirts any time you want. I don’t think you can possibly stretch them out more than I already have. And if you do, then so what? It’s just a hoodie. You, my love, are much more important to me than that.”

I blushed, hands covering my face as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I cannot believe you,” he giggles, resting his chin atop my head.

“Hey!” I cried, but was muffled by his chest. “You’re the one who laughed as soon as I told you!”

He sighed dramatically, pulling away but keeping his arms tight around my waist. He looked me in the eyes. “I guess that was a little rude. I’m sorry angel. Can I make it up to you with some snuggles?” He gave me his best puppy-dog look, big eyes and all.

“Yeah,” I smiled, leaning up on my tip-toes to bring my face closer to his.

“Yeah? Pretty girl gonna forgive me for laughing?” He ghosts his lips over mine.

“Only if you give her a kiss.”

“I can do that.”

He presses his lips against mine, and everything feels like it’ll be alright.

Twenty minutes later, there’s a John Mulaney show playing on the television, a bowl of popcorn between us as Calum’s feet tangle with mine. My head rests on his shoulder, his hand on my thigh.

And I’m wearing his hoodie.

283 notes · View notes

toast-connoisseur · 3 years

Note

ALL of the Ask Me Stuff questions

* 1: Full name: For safety purposes I’ll shorten it: Maria Barbara Gonzalez (yes, that’s the shortened version. I’m Mexican lol)

* 2: Age: 25

* 3: 3 Fears: Being buried alive, anything bad happening to a loved one, SPIDERS

* 4: 3 things I love: My family, my friends, movies

* 5: 4 turn ons: soft touches, kissing, making me food, a confident personality

* 6: 4 turn offs: Overly cocky people, racists, chewing with your mouth open

* 7: My best friend: I’m lucky to have several and I love them all with the individual pieces of my heart they each own

* 8: Sexual orientation: Queer/Gay

* 9: My best first date: I don’t think I’ve ever really gone on one tbh lol

* 10: How tall am I: 5’1 (barely make it to the 1)

* 11: What do I miss: Bars/clubs and Disneyland. Hugging people. Not losing so many people on a daily basis...

* 12: What time was I born: 3:38AM

* 13: Favourite color: Blood red (NOT maroon)

* 14: Do I have a crush: I always crush on random girls

* 15: Favourite quote: “Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I’m yours forever.”

* 16: Favourite place: It was once Disneyland now, I don’t really have a place lol

* 17: Favourite food: All of it. Of course Mexican food takes the top of the list though

* 18: Do I use sarcasm: Noooo, you think?!

* 19: What am I listening to right now: I’m watching Buffy

* 20: First thing I notice in new person: What vibes you’re giving off

* 21: Shoe size: 7 for the most part but sometimes I can fit into size 4 kid shoes

* 22: Eye color: Dark brown

* 23: Hair color: naturally: dark brown, right now: black

* 24: Favourite style of clothing: comfortable but more on the lines of retro/rockabilly

* 25: Ever done a prank call? Yes!

* 27: Meaning behind my URL: I love toast

* 28: Favourite movie: I have so many but one is Saved!

* 29: Favourite song: Lots, but Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship

* 30: Favourite band: Avenged Sevenfold

* 31: How I feel right now: Mellow

* 32: Someone I love: my nephew

* 33: My current relationship status: single

* 34: My relationship with my parents: could be better, but it’s there

* 35: Favourite holiday: Halloween

* 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: I have two piercings on each ear, my bellybutton pierced, and 6 tattoos (R foot, R ankle, L thigh, L wrist, L bicep, R bicep)

* 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I want most of my body covered in tattoos so I have a long way to go. As for piercings, I want at least two more per ear.

* 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: my friends said it would be a good time

* 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I wouldn’t say hate, but we’re not friends anymore

* 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yes!

* 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No

* 42: When did I last hold hands? It’s been too long :(

* 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? I work from home now so 0 minutes

* 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

* 45: Where am I right now? In my bed

* 46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My best friends

* 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable usually. I have very sensitive hearing.

* 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? They actually live with me, but it’s temporary.

* 49: Am I excited for anything? My upcoming move

* 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yes, two actually

* 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? -I work Monday-Friday

* 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? -OOF

* 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Hot

* 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? -Everyone has different trust levels tbh. My best friends hold top tier.

* 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had to work

* 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Beyoncé!

* 57: What do I think about most? The future I want

* 58: What’s my strangest talent? I honestly don’t think I have one? I guess being able to mimic certain voices/accents sometimes but I wouldn’t say I’m pro

* 59: Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t think they’re strange, I just hate feet

* 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

* 61: What was the last lie I told? “I’ll work on that”

* 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? It depends who I’m talking to, but phone tbh

* 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Both are very real

* 64: Do I believe in magic? Yes

* 65: Do I believe in luck? To an extent

* 66: What’s the weather like right now? Nice and cold

* 67: What was the last book I’ve read? I strictly read fanfiction lately

* 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Don’t love it, don’t hate it

* 69: Do I have any nicknames? Barbie, Barbs, whore, homo... you know, cute stuff

* 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I split my eyebrow open and had to get stitches

* 71: Do I spend money or save it? Por que no los dos?!

* 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No, but my best friend can and it’s so cool!

* 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My sweats are pink

* 74: Favourite animal? I love animals but wolves are pretty top tier

* 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping

* 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Sexy. Mr. Sexy.

* 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? -I Wanna Get Better by the Bleachers

* 78: How can you win my heart? Be nice to me and have good conversations to me and occasionally buy me chocolate

* 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? The entire lyrics to Act Up by City Girls

* 80: What is my favorite word? Motherfucker

* 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I honestly bounce to and from so many. There’s no way I can only pick 5. All the ones I reblog from are so great!

* 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? STOP GOING TO PARTIES

* 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I’m aware of

* 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? I can turn invisible

* 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? None really tbh

* 86: What is my current desktop picture? I made it into a winter wonderland for the holidays

* 87: Had sex? “It’s been 84 years...”

* 88: Bought condoms? I’m gay

* 89: Gotten pregnant? See above

* 90: Failed a class? I think in middle school maybe?

* 91: Kissed a boy? Yes

* 92: Kissed a girl? Yes

* 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Sadly, no

* 94: Had a job? Sadly (but also thankfully since I need money)

* 95: Left the house without my wallet? No

* 96: Bullied someone on the internet? No

* 97: Had sex in public? Yes

* 98: Played on a sports team? Yes

* 99: Smoked weed? Yes

* 100: Did drugs? Yes

* 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes

* 102: Drank alcohol? Yes

* 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

* 104: Been overweight? No

* 105: Been underweight? Yes

* 106: Been to a wedding? Yes

* 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 109: Been outside my home country? Yes

* 110: Gotten my heart broken? Sorta but I bounced back pretty quick so idk if that counts

* 111: Been to a professional sports game? Long ago

* 112: Broken a bone? No

* 113: Cut myself? I’m very accident prone

* 114: Been to prom? Yes

* 115: Been in airplane? Yes

* 116: Fly by helicopter? No

* 117: What concerts have I been to? So so so many. I miss them.

* 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? I’m gaaaaaaaay

* 119: Learned another language? I’ve been bilingual since I was a child

* 120: Wore make up? Yes

* 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? No

* 122: Had oral sex? Yes

* 123: Dyed my hair? Yes

* 124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

* 125: Rode in an ambulance? I worked for an ambulance company so just for fun

* 126: Had a surgery? Besides oral?

* 127: Met someone famous? I live in LA, so yes lol

* 128: Stalked someone on a social network? No

* 129: Peed outside? Yes

* 130: Been fishing? No, I’d like to!

* 131: Helped with charity? Yes

* 132: Been rejected by a crush? Fifth grade was a tough year for my love life...

* 133: Broken a mirror? No

* 134: What do I want for birthday? To be able to see all my friends in a safe environment

* 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? I’d like as many as I can comfortably afford. I’d have to discuss with the (future) wife about names

* 136: Was I named after anyone? The Virgin Mary (la Virgen Maria) and some Spanish actress named Barbara something...

* 137: Do I like my handwriting? No

* 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? I loved dolls

* 139: Favourite Tv Show? Bewitched

* 140: Where do I want to live when older? California forever unless properly convinced otherwise

* 141: Play any musical instrument? Used to play trumpet and alto sax. Can’t play anymore lol

* 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? See Q70

* 143: Favourite pizza toping? Pepperoni. I love all sorts of toppings but that’s my fav

* 144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

* 145: Am I afraid of heights? Yes

* 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes

* 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Daily

* 148: What I’m really bad at: Focusing. In my defense, I have ADHD

* 149: What my greatest achievments are: graduating college, getting promoted at work, buying my own car, purchasing a home

* 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I once got told “good luck on the short bus” by a guy that was upset I make more money than he does

* 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: take care of all my bills, invest, and then try to help as many of my loved ones as I could with theirs

* 152: What do I like about myself: my resilience

* 153: My closest Tumblr friend: @itssofragile

* 154: Something I fantasise about: My future

* 155: Any question you’d like? Nah, I think we’re good!

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dutten-does-the-fanfic · 4 years

Text

I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great) ch. 8

Title: I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great) ch. 8 of 14 (ch. 1) Pairing: Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Næsheim Word count: 10.069 Warnings: Language, internalized homophobia, quick mention of blood (nothing serious, by accidentally cutting himself when cooking)

AO3

Summary: The one where it’s been two years since Isak last saw or spoke with Even, and no one knows that Isak ever knew Even at all.

Present

Coffee. He needs coffee, right now. Not working on the assignment worth half his credit in cell-biology and genetics until two days before it is due really hasn’t been his best idea. Might even beat the time he figured he could follow all those vodka shots up with a bottle of tequila.

Isak flicks the light switch on when he walks into the kitchen. Magnus’ computer is on the dining table, open, and Isak can’t help himself from gathering potential blackmail on Magnus, so he pulls the chair out and checks what’s already opened before he’ll start snooping.

Except… it’s not just any little old thing Magnus was looking at. The tab open is a movie review about “Circles”, the movie… the movie Even directed.

Once again Næsheim manages to sweep us off our feet and turn our worlds upside down, or should we say ‘spin it around in Circles’ as he’s set to win yet another award for his hard work –

No. Isak hurls himself away from the computer, forgetting entirely about his original intentions. He won’t do this to himself. He still remembers frantically reading everything about Even’s movies and watching them endlessly, and he remembers how much it hurt to think about how Even came up with the idea, his work process, did he push himself too hard, did he remember to eat, how magnificent he did – does with all of his movies. Because it did. Hurt, that is. It felt like his heart was tearing itself into tiny pieces and he didn’t enjoy the feeling, but at least in those moments he felt something.

But he’s better now. Trying to be better. And he won’t read it. He won’t.

He forces himself to look at the coffee machine instead and meticulously begins to make a cup, mentally listing all the things he’s doing and has to do in order to not turn around and look at Magnus’ computer, mentally priding himself on the fact that he manages not to. He’s getting better.

“Isak, hey! You’re up early,” Magnus says as he walks into the kitchen. He’s wearing clothes but his hair is still wet. He shakes it out of his face as he sits down by his laptop. “’Mind making me a cup as well?”

Isak only shrugs and repeats his earlier process to avoid temptation. He will not look at the review, or any other, for that matter.

“Hey, Isak, listen to this, ‘Once again Næsheim manages –’”

Isak slams his coffee cup onto the counter. God damn it, Magnus.

“He’s so cool,” Magnus says, lying halfway across the table, staring dreamily into his screen, “did you see him on the Late Show the other day? He was there with Sonja, though, so I don’t know if I believe the rumors about them breaking up.”

“I still don’t believe they were ever together,” Jonas says as he enters the kitchen. He gives Isak a careful look that’s easy enough to ignore, even as he knows he deserves it; he hadn’t exactly handled seeing – seeing him well, spending all his time since either mindlessly numb or furiously busy. The mud on Jonas’ running shoes isn’t dry yet and drags all over the kitchen floor.

“Dude,” Isak calls him out on it, only to have Jonas shrug, “sorry, man” before turning back to Magnus.

Out of all of them, Jonas was the most likely to indulge Magnus in his Even-obsession. Mahdi would roll his eyes and make fun of him, although he would listen – until a certain amount of time had passed, there was only so much Even-fangirling he could take – and Isak would, for obvious reasons, shut him down harshly immediately and then have to apologize for it later after feeling shitty about it.

It’s not fair.

“Hollywood does it all the time,” Jonas insists. “Fake romances for publicity or something.”

Magnus frowns. “Sonja isn’t famous, though. Neither of them would gain anything from an arrangement like that.”

Oh yeah, nothing at all, Isak bitterly thinks to himself as he pulls out the bread and a knife to cut a couple of slices for breakfast. Nothing Even would ever gain from being in a relationship with Sonja, nope.

“What are we talking about?” Mahdi knocks on the doorframe, grinning when Isak starts to moan about the mud he’s now tracking in. Honestly, when did Isak become the responsible one?

“Even and Sonja,” Jonas says, throwing the one apple they’ve bought around in the air rather than eating it.

“Sonja and Even,” Magnus corrects. “Sounds better, doesn’t it?”

They sound absolutely fucking perfect. Yippee.

“New drama?” Mahdi asks as he pulls open the fridge, rattling its contents around. Isak tries to narrow down on what is being moved around without actually looking.

That was a jar, the mayo? Maybe the jam – probably the jam. What else have they got on that shelf? If he just keeps focusing on those things, on Jonas’ and Mahdi’s movements, of cutting up the bread, then it won’t hurt as much to be here when Magnus is talking about Even.

“Nah,” a few clicks on the computer, “he’s set to win another award. One for ‘Circles’ this time – he better fucking win, that movie was a work of art and I will hunt down that damn committee if they fuck it up.”

Isak can hear Jonas trying to smother a snicker. Usually Isak would look over at him and share a knowing look, implying they’re both suffering through this conversation, but Jonas is polite enough not to show it.

“There’ll probably be new articles and interviews coming up with him, then,” Mahdi fishes out the butter – the butter, that doesn’t go on their jar shelf – and closes the fridge.

Magnus emits an odd ostrich-type gasp followed by a furious amount of clicks. “Oh my god, do you think he’ll come to Norway to do some as well? Do you think that’s why he was here in the first place? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

He starts frantically typing on the computer as he keeps muttering that he needs to look it up. Isak rolls his eyes, but he keeps his mouth shut, because he’s a good friend and he’s getting better, no matter what anyone else might believe.

“How’d practice go?” Isak asks instead and then focuses all his attention on the stories Mahdi and Jonas tell him about football training and how it had been so slippery they’d almost had to cancel. The coach had finally put an end to the madness when it had turned into much more of a mud-fight than a football match.

“You don’t look all that muddy for having been in a mud-fight.” Their shoes are filthy, though. Isak’s going to have to remember to clean that off of the floor before it dries and stains the wood. Does mud stain? He isn’t particularly interested in finding out.

Jonas holds up his hands that are colored grey from the dried up mud. “T’is all about strategy, man.”

“And I hide behind him,” Mahdi nods. Isak can’t help but snort when Jonas pouts dramatically. He’s quick to turn his attention back on Isak though.

“You lot should be nicer to me,” Jonas whines.

Isak rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his coffee, but he dutifully asks Jonas in a faux-complacent voice, “How can we ever make it up to you?”

Jonas grins obnoxiously. “Cook me lunch,” he demands.

Isak quirks an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Did your hands fall off at practice? I’m not cooking you lunch.”

Jonas holds his hands up again and, alright, fair enough, they are disgusting, but not unusable. “I can’t use these hands to cook. I’d end up eating mud!”

“Don’t eat mud,” Magnus tells them absentmindedly. He’s still clicking away on the computer and Isak doubts he even knows the context to what he just commented on.

Jonas laughs. “Even Magnus can tell it’s a bad idea and he’s off in Even-land.”

Isak rolls his eyes again. “Alright, fine. What do you want?” Anything to get the conversation away from Even, which was what he’d been trying to do when he’d asked about footie in the first place.

Jonas chants nonsense triumphantly and doesn’t even bother answering Isak, before Isak makes to leave with his coffee to go back to his room.

“An omelet!” Jonas yells at him. He reaches out to grab onto him, but then thinks better of it, which Isak is quite grateful for even if he refuses to show it. “Make me an omelet!”

“What d’you want on it?” Isak takes another sip of his coffee before he places the cup on the counter and opens the fridge.

“Ham,” Jonas decides. “Ham and red bell peppers.”

Isak grimaces as he riffles through the contents of their fridge. Not only does he like neither of those, they also don’t have either. “I can do cheese and tomatoes.”

“Done,” Jonas agrees too quickly and sits down at the table opposite Magnus.

Jonas and Mahdi strike up a conversation about a possible strategy they should probably bring up at the next practice – usually Isak would be all about that, but right now he kind of likes the simplicity of having to focus on what his hands are doing.

He doesn’t cook often – at all, more likely; he hasn’t got a clue as to why Jonas would ask him to cook him lunch. He doesn’t have the patience for it, nor is he particularly good at it – he just knows enough to get by.

But there is something mind-numbing about cracking eggs open, the yolk and whites sizzle against the hot pan while Isak takes out a cutting board and lays two big tomatoes on it. They’re still slightly dripping from being washed and it leaves behind a pool of water on the cutting board underneath them. He should probably dry that off.

It’s fifty/fifty whether or not it’ll actually keep his mind off of things, or if whatever he’s cooking is so simple or the issue so big there’s no reprieve for him, but right now he can ignore Magnus’ muttered comments and tune in and out of Jonas’ and Mahdi’s conversation.

It’s nice. It’s everything he’d hoped of getting when the boys had first asked him to move in. And it’s really the small moments like these that remind him just why he decided enough was enough, that he was done with being drunk 95% of his day and miserable 100% of it.

“There’s nothing,” Magnus whines. He’s still tapping away so Isak doesn’t know how truthful that is, or if all the articles are just saying the same thing over and over again.

“Cheer up!” Mahdi tries, pointedly talking over Magnus’ exaggerated sighing. “It’s still early. Maybe nothing’s been released yet.”

“I guess,” another tap. Then a click and a few more clicks, and then Magnus types something else in.

Isak busies himself with sprinkling some cheese onto the now golden, fluffy eggs and then finds a knife big enough to cut the tomatoes in slices.

“Don’t worry,” Isak hears Jonas say, almost like he’s further away than the couple of steps he really is. “There’ll be something soon.”

Magnus sighs again. “I’ll just keep refreshing until something new pops up.”

“That’s a bit obsessive,” Mahdi tells him. “Come on, have a bite of omelet with us and then you can check. You can’t spend your entire day just refreshing all those sites.”

Isak knows Magnus will be frowning, he knows him well enough to know that. “I sure can.”

Mahdi tuts, but he doesn’t get into it, which Isak is rather grateful for. He’s still got a bit of a headache lingering from his panicked paper-writing, sleepless night, and hearing about Even had not been the morning he’d hoped to have to wind down, but oh, well.

“Where’s the food at?” Jonas whines. He stomps his foot underneath the table like a toddler. Isak bangs the knife against the cutting board in the same pattern to mock Jonas – which he shouldn’t, because that knife is massive and Isak is going to lose control of it if he’s being a dick handling it.

“You want the eggs raw?”

Jonas probably rolls his eyes or does something equally rude and unappreciative of Isak’s magnanimity. Isak actually goes through the effort of twisting around to stick his tongue out at Jonas.

Mahdi laughs as Jonas tries to throw a random piece of paper they have lying around, but he’s forgotten to fold it or crumble it into a ball, so it just hovers in the air before it slowly falls down on the ground.

“You’re acting like a child,” Jonas scolds, putting on a posh voice that makes Isak want to laugh again. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt this light.

“Oh, yeah,” Mahdi deadpans. “He’s acting like a child. Remind me again, who was it that started that mud-fight?”

“That son-of-a-bitch Markus if anyone asks,” Jonas answers raptly. Isak snorts as he makes the first slice, carefully curling his fingers away from the blade. “Especially if –“

Magnus interrupts them when he starts screaming. All three of them jump up and Isak whirls around to him to see what’s wrong, what’s happened, what’s –

But Magnus is just looking at his computer screen, and he’s screaming because he’s excited.

“Jesus Christ,” Isak grumbles. “Don’t do that! I nearly cut myself!”

He’ll let Jonas and Mahdi deal with whatever the fuck is going on. God, he’d just been having fun, but now it seems like his good mood has evaporated as quickly as the April weather changes. He knows it’ll come back; he just needs to settle down a bit and get his heart to stop racing from the fright Magnus had given all of them.

He places the knife back onto the tomato while he involuntarily picks up on Magnus hyperventilating and Jonas and Mahdi asking what’s happening even while they still sound slightly annoyed about the scare as well. Even that Isak isn’t a good enough friend to do.

No, stop it. He’s getting better and everything takes time. He’ll get there, one day. Hopefully.

The tomato is still a bit wet, the skin smooth and slippery as he tries to make it stop rolling around long enough for him to cut it. He’s just gotten the perfect size ready to press down on when Magnus wheezes the first intelligible thing he’s said since he started shouting.

“They’ve published the marriage certificate!”

And Isak’s world stops.

Or his heart does – his world doesn’t, because if he could stop the world, he already would’ve done that. He would’ve stopped it a long time ago.

His mind is dangerously blank, no inputs or outputs and he can’t even register how scary that feels. He doesn’t register that his hands aren’t still but desperately shaking. He can’t register anything until he presses down on the knife, involuntarily following-through on his abandoned motion.

Except he isn’t holding onto the tomato anymore, not properly anyway, so the knife slips off the surface. Isak barely registers the pain from the blade cutting down his hand, leaving a big enough gash that he starts bleeding.

“Shit!” he swears and Jonas is up off his chair before Isak can even move to the sink to rinse it off.

“Jesus!” Mahdi rushes over to the two of them. He grabs the roll of paper towels on his way, already bundling up way more pieces than Isak needs.

Jonas grabs onto his arm and drags him over to the sink. The water is cold and ends up splashing everywhere from the high pressure. It sounds like bullets hitting metal in Isak’s ears.

“Hold it under the water – Isak,” Jonas says louder to get his attention. “Hold it under the water!”

“It doesn’t look like it’s deep,” Mahdi says, pressing the bundled up paper towel onto his palm too quickly so it ends up getting soaked through.

The pain is dull. Isak always thought pain would bring someone back into their body, but all it does is make him float away even further. All the noises around him sound dulled down like he’s underwater and everyone around him is trying to scream at him to get his attention, but he can’t hear them properly.

His breathing picks up and he has to stop this, stop panicking before one of the boys notice.

Jonas notices. He looks up at Isak with a worried frown and Isak can’t look at him, just keeps looking at the wet, slightly red-stained paper towel Mahdi is still pressing onto his hand.

“Hey, you alright?” Jonas asks. His hands moves up from his elbow to his shoulder to get a better grip. “You’re not squeamish around blood, are you? Do you feel dizzy?”

Mahdi makes a high-pitched groan. “Please tell me you’re not about to hurl.”

“Shut up,” Jonas doesn’t stop looking at Isak. “Isak?”

And it just – it sounds like the first of many confused, slightly scared Isak?’s that Isak has a feeling he’s about to hear for the rest of his life, and it hasn’t even started yet.

It hasn’t started before Magnus goes, “What. The actual. Fuck.”

Jonas and Mahdi don’t hear it, but Isak does. It’s the first thing he hears properly since the knife slipped out of his hand, and he wishes he hadn’t heard it. He wishes he hadn’t heard it, won’t hear it ever again, but Magnus repeats it when Jonas has turned off the sink and Mahdi has given him another, now dry, towel to press against his hand.

It’s not even bleeding anymore, but Isak holds it there anyway. His body somehow won’t let him press down, so it’s just resting there.

“What the fuck?”

“Magnus,” Jonas snaps, twisting around to look at him, “we’re a bit busy right now, think you could fantasize about Even later?”

Jonas’ hand is still on Isak’s shoulder, which means that when Jonas turns around, so does Isak, and Mahdi seemingly subconsciously mirrors them as well. Isak’s lower back is pressed harshly into the counter. He tries to take another step back, wants to get as far away from Magnus and his stupid, stupid laptop as entirely possible, but he can’t. He’s stuck, he’s stuck, and if the certificate is out then he’s also stuck in a completely different way.

Magnus’ lips are pressed into a thin line as he stares right at Isak. His gaze is unwavering and Isak feels pinned by the mere force of it, his breath halting as a chill settles over his body.

Magnus doesn’t even reply to defend himself. He doesn’t reply to explain. He just slides the computer around until the screen is facing them, and there Isak sees it.

He sees a large, blown up picture, right in the beginning of whatever article Magnus has open. The article itself doesn’t really matter, it’s just the picture that certainly does, or what the picture is of at least matters.

Jonas and Mahdi clearly can’t tell at first – they’re too far away from the screen, but Isak recognizes the piece of paper. He recognizes the info. He recognizes the Vigselattest written at the top and he recognizes Even’s handwriting and he recognizes his own handwriting. He recognizes their names and the date and their signatures. He recognizes all of it, because he has that exact paper tucked away, forever in hiding because he hadn’t been able to bear the thought of getting rid of it.

He’s staring at his own marriage certificate, blown up and on the internet for anyone and everyone to see. And now Magnus has seen it. And Jonas and Mahdi have seen it and are seconds away from realizing what it is.

And Isak doesn’t want to be here for when they figure it out.

“Oh my god –“ Mahdi starts, has barely started before all life suddenly returns to Isak’s body and he bolts towards the hallway.

His heart is pounding and the blood is rushing in his ears. He can barely hear Mahdi’s incredulous exclamations or Jonas’ surprised gasp. All Isak knows is he needs to get out of there, right now.

He’s just a couple of feet away from the doorway when he’s suddenly hauled back by the hand Jonas still has on his shoulder, has had ever since he came up to him to help with the cut on his hand, and suddenly Isak is back to standing between Jonas and Mahdi, counter pressed into his lower back.

Mahdi moves until he’s blocking the entrance to the kitchen, like that would be enough to deter Isak from trying to leave. Isak wants to laugh a bit at that, laugh the way he’s feeling; hysterically and panicked and maybe all he wants to do is scream and cry, actually.

They’re all just staring at him.

Isak is breathing heavily. It stands out in the otherwise quiet room, and all that amounts to is Isak’s breathing picking up even further. He’s still looking frantically around the room, like a new exit will suddenly pop up just because he wills it so. It doesn’t.

He can’t bear to look at any of them, but at the same time he can’t stand not knowing what they’re thinking. Can’t stand having to witness them looking at him differently, like he’s different, but also can’t stand living in this middle place, this Schrödinger’s box where they could either be looking at him in disdain or the same way they’ve always looked at him; like he’s their friend.

Friends don’t lie to each other. Not about something big like this.

Isak looks at them.

It’s just a quick glance, scanning over each of them before he can’t stand to look anymore, focuses in on the back wall in the kitchen instead. They’re all looking confused, but Jonas is also looking both panicked and pitying, like he’s afraid Isak will bolt again, which, yeah, is looking really tempting right now. Mahdi looks small and Magnus, most surprising of all, has a careful mask plastered onto his face that gives nothing away.

Isak can’t even begin to imagine how he looks right now.

Can they see? Can they see the panic and the heartbreak and all the other feelings he’s been trying so hard to hide away?

The quiet breaks.

“What the fuck –“

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god –“

“Isak, what the hell is that –“

“I don’t understand –“

“Is it real? Is it actually real?”

“Isak, what – I don’t, I –“

“It doesn’t matter!” It tears out of Isak’s throat, all guttural and anguished and Isak’s hands are curled up into fists. The palm with the cut hurts from it, but he can’t stop. His hands are shaking and so is his voice and so is his entire body, keyed up on adrenaline and pure terror.

It makes them all quiet down again, but now it seems like the words won’t stop pouring out of Isak’s mouth. Just a repeated slew of it doesn’t matter’s that doesn’t answer any of their questions and doesn’t help Isak one bit either.

“How does it not matter?” Mahdi sounds angry. Isak sees Jonas out of the corner of his eye sending Mahdi a warning glance, like he should be careful how he speaks to Isak when Isak is the one who has been lying all along.

“It doesn’t,” is all Isak seems to be able to say. He isn’t shouting anymore. As quickly as all the rage had been built up, the fight rushes out of his body, leaving him deflated and woozy. He’s still breathing too quickly. “It doesn’t matter.”

Jonas isn’t touching his shoulder anymore. As heavy as it had felt, like Isak’s knees were threatening to boggle under the added weight, as unsettling and rejecting does it feel to be let go of, to be standing on his own two feet, suddenly very, very alone.

No one is saying anything. Magnus’ computer screen is still facing Isak. Isak can’t stand to look at it, but he can’t figure out how to tell Magnus to turn it away either.

“You’re marri-“ Magnus starts, but Isak interrupts him harshly.

“Don’t. Just, don’t.” He wants to curl his hands around the countertop to help support him, to keep him standing, but he can’t figure out how to uncurl his hands from the fists they’d formed into, even as he isn’t even clenching them so harshly that they’re shaking anymore.

Magnus is frowning where he’s still sitting at the kitchen table. “I don’t understand.”

Isak doesn’t either. He hasn’t understood anything for a long time.

Please, he wants to beg. Please, just forget about all of it, erase it from your minds, from the internet, but he can’t get his mouth to cooperate. Even if he could, it wouldn’t work. He can’t change the past – not the one that happened five years ago when he first met Even, and not the one that happened five minutes ago when everybody found out about it.

Magnus keeps wording the sentence soundlessly before it apparently makes enough sense for him to try verbally again. “You’re mar-“

“Please!” Isak’s voice breaks and he feels like his legs might give out from underneath him.

“You’re – you’re – to Even –“

“Just don’t, stop,” the pleas are rushing out of Isak’s mouth, but Magnus just continues going over and over it without actually getting any of the words out.

Mahdi is shuffling between his two feet from where he’s standing next to him on his left, but Jonas is standing stock-still, gaze unwavering from Isak. It makes him feel like he might be going out of his own skin from how uncomfortable he is, but also like his mind is so overworked that he can’t handle this small thing on top of everything else that his mind is slowly shutting down.

“This is why,” Mahdi mutters, just loudly enough that Isak can hear him over Magnus’ ranting. “This is why.”

He repeats it one more time, like it’s the answer to every question Mahdi has ever asked, and Isak thinks that maybe it is, but that only makes something disgusting curl in on itself in his stomach.

“I can’t believe you’ve been – this entire time and with – with Even none the less!” Magnus is still going on.

But I’m not, Isak thinks he should say, because he isn’t, hasn’t been for a long time now. With every word that comes out of Magnus’ mouth, Isak feels a part of him give up. He’s been fighting for so long, and now it’s all been in vain, because everyone knows now. Everyone knows.

Isak doesn’t cry. He thinks he might’ve forgotten how to, he’s spent so long forcing himself not to after all. Now all he’s left with is a blissfully terrifying numbness that’s only ever overpowered by an encompassing anxiousness.

“It doesn’t matter,” it sounds too small. Mahdi snorts, unimpressed.

“Of course it fucking matters,” Mahdi swears. Isak might’ve flinched had he not felt like he’s not currently in control of his own body. The only thing he actually feels are his cheeks and his neck, which feel freezing compared to the heat filling his cheeks. “Why would it fucking not?”

“Because it doesn’t!” Isak tries to put more power behind his words, but he can’t tell if he succeeds. He sounds like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum, just repeating the same words over and over again. “It doesn’t matter, so can we just forget about it?”

He goes to leave again, but Mahdi steps in front of him so quickly Isak can only flinch and fall backwards into the counter again.

“We really can’t,” Mahdi sounds mean, and if there’s one thing Mahdi isn’t, it’s mean. Isak can’t seem to draw in his next breath. “Because there’s a picture in an official article that mentions you by name that says that you’re –“

“It doesn’t –“ Isak tries again, but Mahdi doesn’t let him.

“It does! You’re marr-“

“I’m not!” There are tears threatening to prickle in the corners of his eyes despite how numb Isak still feels. His heart feels like it’s permanently lodged in his throat, keeping him from breathing properly no matter how badly he tries. “I’m not, I’m not –“

Magnus’ brows are furrowed. “So it’s lying –“

“I’m not,” Isak tries again. “It doesn’t fucking matter, any of it, because I’m not – we’re not – we haven’t been for years! I signed the papers and everything and it doesn’t –“

He can’t get the last it doesn’t matter out. Isak doesn’t think it actually makes a difference based on the stricken looks on the boys’ faces at that confession. Mahdi looks like he might want to cry, and Magnus is looking so terribly confused, and Jonas seems to be looking at him in pure horror. It makes everything hurt worse.

His body is slowly starting to prickle to life again. It hurts and Isak hadn’t thought he could feel more pain than what he’d already been feeling. There’s something cold pressed into his hand, and Isak looks down to see he’s still holding the paper towel, pressed together and nearly wrung out from how hard he’d been clenching around it.

“That’s what’s been going on,” Magnus says, almost apologetically, except he doesn’t look it. “That’s why you’ve been –“

It doesn’t matter, Isak wants to shout, but he doesn’t. His throat and chest feel too tight for him to say much of anything.

“Holy shit,” Mahdi shakes his head and repeats it. “Holy shit.”

The paper towel feels like a sad, wet clump, slowly falling apart in his hand already. Isak shouldn’t be able to relate to a paper towel.

“You’re sad,” Jonas breathes out, like it’s a big revelation. It’s the first thing he’s said since he’d dragged Isak back from his attempted escape.

Isak wants to laugh, because, duh, but he fears he might let out a sob instead, so he just grits out an “I’m fine,” because he’s supposed to be at this point, it’s been so long, and hopes that’s the end of this discussion.

It isn’t. Jonas looks even worse after that. They all do.

“Why have you never said anything?” Mahdi asks, but it gets drowned out by Magnus talking at the same time.

“Since when are you gay?” Magnus asks and that – that was the question Isak had always dreaded to hear. He doesn’t actually know what to do now when it’s finally been asked.

“Magnus!” Jonas hisses. “You can’t just ask that!”

“Figured you would’ve been paying a bit more attention to the Even-part, anyway,” Mahdi mutters and Isak can’t look at either of them.

Magnus shrugs. “We’re all a little bit gay for Even Bech Næsheim.”

It startles a laugh out of him, or maybe not, because the noise that comes out of his mouth is a little too wet, too desperate, too raw to really be a laugh. It makes everyone look like they’re so impossibly out of their wits, but Isak can hardly focus on it, because – this is it.

This is the moment he’s been dreading, the one he’s had nightmares about or the one he’s been unable to sleep because he’d spend the night worrying instead. This is it.

And Isak isn’t ready for it.

“I can’t,” Isak stutters out, gasping in a breath that seems too out of place with how little he’d actually said, but it’s like there’s no air left inside of him. “I need to –“

He stumbles to his left, barely managing to right himself before he barrels into Mahdi.

Mahdi reaches out for him, like he isn’t sure if he’s supposed to catch him or if he’s supposed to stop him from leaving, but he steps back when Isak nearly manages to fall over again from avoiding being touched by him.

“Wait!” Magnus stands up so quickly the chair nearly falls backwards before it manages to right itself. “Don’t leave, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean –“

Jonas tries to reach out to touch his shoulder again, but aborts the movement so his hands are just hanging midair. He must’ve been able to see something on Isak’s face that the last thing he wants right now is to be touched.

“Sorry,” Jonas says, and Isak doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for. “We won’t say anything about it again, just – please don’t run away again, okay?”

But Isak can’t – he can’t stay in this flat, he can’t be here right now. He can’t stand having to look his best friends in the eye and know that not only do they now know he’s been lying to them, they know.

“I can’t be here,” Isak stumbles over the words and tries to curl in on himself, despite how he feels like he’s only a couple of inches tall right now.

They all look a little more broken at that.

“I promise we won’t talk about it. Why don’t we just go into the living room, sit down for a little bit? I promise we won’t –“

He doesn’t get to finish, because Isak can’t – he can’t stay, he can hardly breathe, hasn’t known how to do that for so long now. If he can’t even figure out how to breathe he doesn’t feel ready to figure out how to stay.

He can’t even look at them properly. They all look so hurt and it’s all Isak’s fault, and he knows he should feel worse about it, but all he’s feeling is the looping panic of they know.

“I can’t be here,” Isak repeats more firmly. It makes Jonas’ mouth snap shut so quickly Isak almost would’ve thought he was angry, but he just looks like he doesn’t know what to do.

Mahdi looks like he wants to argue, but Magnus gets there first.

“Where do you want to go, then?”

Three heads snap over to look at him, but Magnus doesn’t seem fazed, doesn’t move his attention away from Isak.

Magnus sighs. “I – we can’t have you run out on us again, alright? I’ve been constantly terrified that I’ll do something to make you run again and that will be the last time we ever see you,” Magnus looks out the window. Isak feels even heavier without his gaze on him. “So just – if you want to leave, fine, but I can’t – just let us know where you’re going and if – when you’re coming back.”

If. The if repeats itself in Isak’s head. If, if, if.

Somehow, despite everything else that’s going on, it’s that if that makes him tear up.

“Eskild’s,” tumbles out of Isak’s mouth before he can even think about it. It’s his default answer, has been for years, ever since they met, that if he’s in trouble he’ll go to Eskild’s. “I’ll go to Eskild’s.”

Jonas sighs, but nods, even as he looks like it’s the last thing he wants. Mahdi and Magnus don’t look particularly fond of letting him out of their sights either, but they don’t say anything when Jonas fishes his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it and hands it over to Isak.

“Here,” he says. He stretches his arm out so he won’t have to move closer. “Just call him up, tell him you’re coming. Do you have his number?”

Isak’s hand is shaking when he reaches out to grab the phone. He sees how they all notice, but then they all divert their attention away from it.

He’s got the number memorized, had spent ages tracing over it, both the numbers and the pattern on a phone, back when he’d first gotten the number and had been terrified someone would gain access to his phone and leaf through it, discovering an odd contact.

Eskild picks up on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” he sounds cautious and Isak barely registers that it’s from having an unknown number call him.

“H-hey,” Isak has to clear his throat, has to do something to stop feeling like he’s about to burst out crying just at the sound of Eskild’s voice. “It’s me.”

“Isak?” Eskild sounds more urgent now, and Isak can hear things moving around in the background, like Eskild’s getting ready to leave, ready to come get him. Isak doesn’t think he’s ever deserved having Eskild in his life. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Can I –“ Isak pinches his eyes closed. It’s only a matter of time before Eskild finds out anyway, Isak should be the one to tell him.

But the words won’t come out of his mouth. He never figured out how to say the words, he isn’t ready, never has been.

“Can I come over? Are you home?” he asks instead.

Isak barely waits for Eskild’s affirmation before he just about throws the phone back in Jonas’ hand and tails it out of there, going to grab his coat. Mahdi follows behind, just to check that he’s actually putting on his shoes before he leaves. They can still hear Eskild’s voice over the phone, rambling, even if the words aren’t distinguishable.

“Hello?” Jonas says, finally turning the phone the right way up so he can talk. “Eskild? Yeah, Isak’s leaving now. It’s, uh – it’s a bit complicated.”

Isak wants to snort as he stuffs his feet into his shoes. His hands are still shaking when he tries to unlock the door. Mahdi has to come over and do it for him. It makes Isak feel so useless and so desperate and just so much worse overall.

“You should probably look it up before he gets there.” Is the last thing Isak hears before the door smacks shut behind him. “Just google –“

OOOOO

Isak doesn’t have a key to the Kollektiv anymore. Hadn’t really had one when he’d lived there, either. He’d been using a spare of Eskild’s, his backup plan for if he ever lost his keys whilst he was at work. It had made Isak feel good that technically that meant Isak was now Eskild’s backup plan, was how Eskild had explained it to him, with a large smile and a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

Jonas is waiting by the foot of the stairs patiently, waiting to make sure Isak doesn’t… run off or get himself hurt, or just gets there safely. He’s out of Isak’s sight, but Isak can still hear him there, had heard him all of the way over.

He rings the doorbell again, but Eskild gets to the door first, so Isak just has to hear the melody play out clearly without the door serving as a barrier.

“Isak,” Eskild breathes out. He’s slumping down where he’s standing in the open doorway, like seeing Isak in front of him made someone cut off the strings holding him up. “Isak.”

And Isak can’t handle how desperate Eskild sounds, how desperately sad and desperately hurt. Isak lets out an involuntary equally hurt whine and throws himself at Eskild.

Eskild ends up fumbling to grab onto the door so he won’t fall from the impact, but once he’s gained his balance his arms fold around Isak and hold on to him so tightly it hurts to breathe.

Eskild pulls him in and hugs him so tightly it hurts to breathe, but it feels so good. It feels like how it should feel getting a hug from his mom, if she’d ever hugged him that is. He shouldn’t be thinking about that. It doesn’t matter and this is better anyway.

They stand there for ages. Isak wants to sob, but it’s the first time in ages he feels like he can breathe. Maybe it’s just because he always knew he would be able to do that with Eskild.

“Why did you never tell me?” And fuck, Eskild’s hurt, Isak made Eskild hurt.

It’s all everybody wants to know, why didn’t he say anything, but what would he even have said? Hey, do you remember how I’ve denied being gay the entire time I’ve known you? Well, guess what!

“I couldn’t,” he chokes out, his throat tightening. “I couldn’t, I –“

Isak feels a sob threatening to burst out of his throat. Maybe Eskild can sense it, because he brings him inside the apartment and shuts the front door behind him. The click of the lock and the slam of the door sound final.

Past

Even borrows his parents’ car, a grey thing that looks older than it is, without Isak knowing about it, or knowing why he does it.

It’s still early in the morning when Even texts him to go outside. Isak had immediately replied with an ugh with too many of every letter to tell Even how not amused he was at the prospect of wandering down four flights of stairs just to come down and kiss Even good morning – something he could do, mind you, if Even actually just came home or hadn’t left the bed at arse-o’clock in the morning.

But because Isak is a good fiancée, he walks down every flight of stairs with every intention of bitching Even out before dragging him back inside to kiss him.

It’s close to stifling already outside, even as Isak’s only standing in joggers and a t-shirt. There’s no breeze to take the brunt of the heat. It’ll be horrible later in the day when their apartment will start slowly cooking them.

He doesn’t see Even until the honking startles him. He whips towards the direction of the sound and sees Even behind the wheel, window rolled down and left arm hanging halfway out. He’s grinning widely at Isak, but Isak sees the strain to it, right in the corner of his mouth, revealing the slight tension there is to him. He’s also wearing his sunglasses, so Isak can’t see his eyes and make out what he’s really feeling.

“Hey, there,” Even drawls dramatically, doing an exaggerated nod of his head like he’s checking Isak out. It’s dumb and it’s stupid and it still makes Isak flush and giggle like a schoolgirl. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?”

‘A place like this’ is in fact in front of their apartment complex in Oslo in one of the cheaper areas, but by no means not well-respected. That’s not the point, though, so Isak leans his weight against the car, forcing Even to bodily turn around in his seat to keep looking at him.

“Oh, mister, I’m terribly lost,” he plays it up, batting his eyelashes until Even has to fight to keep the laugh down. “Can you help me?”

“Sure thing, sweetcheeks,” except it’s done in an American accent, and ‘thing’ sounds more like ‘thang’, making Isak snort. Even grins and nods towards the passenger seat. “Hop on in; I’ll give you the ride of your life.”

“What, the car or your dick?”

“Isak!” Even admonishes playfully, playing up the faux-offence by gaping disbelievingly. It’s stupid and Isak’s still grinning.

“Where’d you get this thing, anyway?” Isak pats the part where Even’s window refuses to roll down entirely. Even catches his fingers and brings them casually to his lips.

There’s no one around. They both know this, they’ve both checked. It still makes Isak’s heart pound faster for not all the right reasons.

“Borrowed it from my parents.” Even looks down at where he carefully places Isak’s fingers back on the window. He doesn’t look back up at Isak’s face, and the tension is back at the corner of his mouth, in the line of his shoulders. “They think I’m taking the boys for a trip.”

Isak feels immensely guilty. It bowls over him, leaving him feeling off-kilter and vaguely disgusted with himself for not being better, being more right.

He knows it’s always been a strain on Even to lie to his parents like he is – maybe not at first, when they were trying it out, or when they decided they were official. But ever since they moved in together and Even had to tell his parents they had to call before coming over so they could mask the fact Even wasn’t living alone in a one-bedroom apartment, Even has tended to isolate himself from his parents, and it’s wearing him down. He won’t tell Isak that, but Isak can tell without Even saying the words.

“And what are we actually doing?” Isak asks, but he doesn’t wait for Even to answer before he walks in front of the hood, crossing to the other side of the car and slides into the passenger seat.

Even’s eyes are soft, his whole expression practically screaming fond, which makes Isak squirm slightly in his seat from butterflies flapping around in his stomach. Isak prompts Even to start talking by lightly puffing Even with his shoulder.

“It’s not quite a white limo Tesla,” Even grins crookedly, but there’s an apologetic twinge to it and the tension still hasn’t left him entirely.

Isak reaches over for him, rubs his thumb along the corner of his mouth until the downward curl of it smoothes out. “I don’t need a Tesla,” he tells him, because he doesn’t. “I’d much rather just get to have you.”

He can tell Even wants to kiss him, but he doesn’t. As the time comes closer to nine, people start showing up, and it’s a regular car with no tint to the windows.

“You just want me because I can drive this thing,” Even teases instead, patting the steering wheel.

“I got into this deathtrap for you, the least you can do is maneuver it around. Which reminds me, what are we doing?”

“Ah!” Even holds up a finger, mock-serious expression on his face as he signals for Isak to wait – which he does, skeptically.

Even undoes his seatbelt with a click, and then contorts his body weirdly in a twist to reach onto the backseat. Isak can’t tell what he’s doing, but he can hear the crinkle of something – paper? – confirmed when Even thrusts a stack of papers into his hands.

“Here you go!” He’s practically vibrating with excitement, his eyes sparkling, and for a second he’s so captivating Isak literally, despite the immense curiosity, can’t look away from him.

The papers are still neat and pressed, only slightly wavy from the ink of the large pictures having long dried.

“What –“ Isak trails off as his eyes skim over the first paper in the stack. A photograph takes up more than half of the first page, depicting a rather idyllic place, taken from the terrace of some house, cabin maybe, Isak presumes, showing the horizon of clear water and typical Norwegian nature of rocks, cliffs, and trees. You can just see two chairs and a small table in the foreground, but it’s obvious the nature is supposed to be the selling point.

On the remaining part of the paper, there’s text, starting with a greeting and a thank you for booking which makes Isak’s heart rate pick up exponentially.

He skips over the text, goes straight to the next picture – a bedroom, white sheets and a window letting in what appears to be morning light – and the next picture – a small kitchen connected to a dining area – to the next picture – the living room with more couches and chairs than Isak and Even will be able to fill. Isak goes back to the thank you for booking! and looks for a date, a place, any indication of what the hell is Even up to.

Today. It’s booked from today. A couple of hours away from Oslo, the distance manageable even if they would’ve had to do it by bus.

“What is this?” he looks up at Even, then back down at the papers because he can’t believe it, then back up at Even because he can’t believe it.

Even’s truly grinning by now. “Well,” he starts, trying to appear suave and not succeeding at all, “I was thinking it might be a really great honeymoon spot.”

Isak’s heart stops. He thinks his hands might be shaking, his entire body is.

When he manages to look up from the papers, Even’s already holding up his phone, showing the e-mail that they’ve got a slot at Oslo’s City Hall today.

Isak’s out of his seat before his brain catches up.

He leaps across the gear stick to get to Even, only taking enough care not to accidentally brain him or knock him out in his haste. He hears the papers crinkle alarmingly and distantly hopes there was nothing essential on them that can’t be salvaged by a bit of smoothing out.

Even’s laughing and wrapping his arms around Isak, drawing him in closer. It’s a bit awkward, seeing as Isak’s legs are too long and also a bit stuck at the footrest of the passenger’s seat, the rest of his body draped over Even’s. He never wants to let go.

“Are you serious?” he asks, voice muffled a bit from where his mouth is pressing against Even’s shoulder.

Even laughs. “One hundred percent, baby.”

Isak doesn’t know what to do with himself. He feels too light and too heavy and too full and he’s so in fucking love. He can literally feel his brain not able to process everything that’s happening, can feel his body reacting to the shock of it. His eyes start watering, his shoulders shaking. He sniffles.

Even twitches. “Are you crying?”

Isak doesn’t even have to look at him to know he’s smiling, the asshole.

“It’s allergies,” Isak protests, presses his face harder against Even’s shoulder, his tears probably wetting the fabric, but if Even tries to make fun of him, Isak will tell him it’s snot.

Even laughs, loudly and unapologetic, his entire body shaking underneath Isak. It’s familiar and comforting, and it might even make Isak cry harder.

“To weddings?” Even finally manages to ask. “Or just your own?”

Had it been anyone else Isak would’ve been annoyed with them, but he hears the teasing in Even’s lilt and his arms are holding him tightly against his chest, hands gentle as he rubs his back.

If they ever are to tell anyone, which Isak sincerely doubts, he’ll make sure Even won’t mention this part.

Knowing Even, he’ll specifically do it just to get Isak huffy so he can kiss him sweet and pliant.

“Weddings,” Isak answers, drawing back and wiping shyly at his eyes. Even’s staring at him like he never wants to see anything else the rest of his life. “But my own might be an exception.”

Even grins, his hands smoothing up and down Isak’s sides. “Should we go check, then?”

A laugh bubbles out of Isak’s throat, a bit wet and it makes a few more tears spill over and down his cheeks. He nods, keeps nodding until Even’s laughing and nodding as well, leaning forward until their noses brush. Isak doesn’t even have it in him to check if anyone’s nearby, can’t look anywhere else than at Even.

It’s the first time they kiss in public when the sun is shining and they’re not tucked away in an alley or behind a shed in the bushes.

“I’m always serious about you,” Even tells him when he pulls back. His eyes are wet too. “And I seriously want to marry you. Today.”

Isak grins, presses another peck to Even’s mouth. “Let’s go do this, then.”

OOOOO

Even’s the only one who has a full suit – or, something close to a full suit, the jacket a little too modern and wonky to fit formal wear outside an artistic gathering. By the time they make it to City Hall it’s too hot to wear a jacket anyway, which leaves them wearing chinos, Even in a white button-down and Isak in a grey button-down with short sleeves.

They’re both hot and sweaty, lungs hurting from laughing whilst running from the parking space they’d gotten ages away and through the hallways so they wouldn’t miss their appointment.

The officiator doesn’t bat an eye at the two of them being boys, but he does look surprised and then pitiful at the completely empty hall that he has to perform the ceremony for. The guilt churns around in his stomach when Isak forces himself not to think about Eskild, whom he knows would not only be happy to witness but happy for him – once he got over the shock of never having been told. He knows Even’s thinking the same about his own friends, his parents. They’ve both got people they want to be here, they’ve just… never told them.

They end up pulling two secretaries on their lunch break in to witness. They’re two elder ladies, and one’s smile reminds Isak of his mother so much from when she was well, when she still recognized him, that he almost wants to give her a hug.

It’s a quick ceremony, only a little more than ten minutes. The remaining paperwork doesn’t take nearly as long as the initial paperwork had, and then –

Even’s eyes are sparkling, Isak knows his own are too. God. God. And then they’re married.

It’s the first time in – ever that Isak doesn’t care who is watching, that there are now essentially three strangers who know about him, who know about him and Even, and he doesn’t care because he’s married and he’s going to kiss Even.

He nearly tackles Even with how he bodily throws himself at him, but Even had been prepared and only laughs as he wraps his arms around Isak’s body, holds him close and leans down so he can kiss him again.

No one throws rice at them since it isn’t allowed, but Isak doesn’t mind. Can’t really seem to mind when Even’s holding his hand right until they get to the entrance, and then they’re both running again to get back to the car, to get to whatever Even has planned, to get to be alone, for Isak to get to kiss his husband.

The car ride takes simultaneously longer and quicker than it should to get to the cabin – Even’s driving just a bit too fast, not enough to make Isak anxious, but enough that he gains time, but then they have to pull over at rest stops or park behind gas stations just to laugh or press their lips together or be married.

It’s well into the evening by the time they get there. Their legs are tired from being cramped up for so long, so they park down by the beach instead of by the cabin.

“What’s all this, then?” Isak keeps looking at the scenery, then back to Even, then back on the beach, back to Even again.

It’s windy. His hair keeps getting pushed down in front of his eyes. Even is holding both of his hands, though, so he can’t brush it away.

It’s not important, anyway. He can see Even clearly. Can see him smiling and his eyes, bright and blue and happy and Isak fills giddy with it, even with the confusion.

“Your beach story,” Even tells him, finally stops walking backwards but keeps pulling Isak towards him until they’re pushed together and it’s easy to lean down and kiss him.

The cabin is as lovely as it had been on the photos. It’s the exact same, but with a larger deck than Isak had thought it would have. They sit there, eating pizza that’s lukewarm with how much time has passed since they picked it up at the closest pizzeria.

The cabin itself is secluded, hidden away in a corner of the universe that Isak and Even are taking for themselves. There are other cabins nearby, they both know, but they can’t see any from where they are.

So when the sun is setting, the last rays reflecting in the water, the sky colored pink and yellow and orange, a few crusts scattered around in the cardboard box all that’s left of the pizza, Isak doesn’t hesitate to climb into Even’s lap and kiss him.

The wind is colder than it’s been all day with the night settling in, but Even’s a warm heat pressed against Isak’s chest, between his thighs, his hands warm as they slip underneath Isak’s t-shirt and roam across his back.

Their lips smack against each other’s a lot louder than they’ve ever dared to before when not hidden away under covers or behind locked doors. It’s liberating. Isak feels like he could float away right where he is, would spend an eternity right here in this moment if the universe would let them.

“I love you,” Even whispers, the words broken apart by their lips. Isak’s too busy enthusiastically kissing him to say it back, so he says it with soft touches, with his thumb smoothing down along the curve of Even’s eyebrow, down to his cheekbones.

I love you, too he screams in his head. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Isak gets lost in Even. Can’t remember that he’d already started undressing him before they got inside until the next day when they find Even’s belt and button-down next to the now empty cardboard box that’s been picked clean of pizza by the birds and any other creatures to have passed by. All he remembers is Even, Even, Even.

Even kissing him; his mouth, his neck, his chest, his thighs. Even inside of him. Even crying as he tells Isak he loves him, that he’s so fucking happy.

They wake up in a bed with messed up white sheets, the sun shining in because neither of them had thought about drawing the curtains.

It’s stupidly early because of the Norwegian sunrises, so they just lie there for ages, lips moving over lips lazily until they drift off. When Isak wakes up again, Even’s lips are smushed against his cheek, his nose scrunches up periodically every time Isak blinks, his eyelashes tickling Even’s skin.

He giggles as it happens, then has to kiss Even awake. From there it’s easy to roll onto his back, pulling Even along with him until Even can sink in where Isak’s still wet and open from last night.

They spend long mornings in bed. Then Even makes them scrambled eggs, and Isak distracts him by ‘apparently’ eating berries suggestively, which Isak will deny until the day he dies, so they don’t actually end up eating before the eggs have gone cold. They’re still good, though.

They go down to the beach, they sit on the rocks, messing around, they explore their surroundings without going too far to risk accidentally bumping into anyone else, bursting the bubble they’re in.

Even films them for a bit, just small tidbits. Tells Isak that one day he’ll use it in the greatest film he’ll ever make, the one about Isak.

Isak blushes and tells Even he’s an idiot, and any movie he’d make about Isak would be a pompous piece of shit that Isak can’t have associated with his name, it would be slander. Even laughs and kisses him quiet as Isak tries not to think about how Even is currently giving him the story he promised him over the phone years ago by now. A story on the beach. One that isn’t sad, one where the two people in love do end up together. That means more to Isak than anything else.

All in all, Isak can’t imagine a better honeymoon. Has to kiss Even until his lips are swollen and numb whenever he thinks it.

They don’t exchange rings.

Neither of them really wears any rings anyway, but wearing one on their ring finger can only mean one thing, and they still don’t know how to answer people’s questions were they to ask, “Oh? Who’s your wife?”

Instead, Even makes Isak a flower crown out of dandelions that’s quite shoddy at best, and a few petals and leaves keep falling off, but Isak loves it and can’t stop smiling. That romantic fool, of course he had to make a subtle reference to how they met.

Isak slips Even a little note that’s folded in half. Even’s eyes are shiny when he reads the single sentence Isak has written.

This will be epic all on its own.

Next part

#Evak #Evak fanfiction #SKAM #SKAM Norway #SKAM fanfiction #Dutten-does-the-fanfic #Something Great

4 notes · View notes

virtuallytakenby · 4 years

Note

Hmm, odd numbers babe!!

Thanks for asking hun :D

1: Full name

Hmm, I’m not ready to answer that just yet. You can call me Pari though :)

3: 3 Fears

Dying before I do anything meaningful in life/dying too young, insects and losing loved ones.

5: 4 turns on

Eye contact, good personality, voice (like Raleigh Carrera’s, haha), neck kisses.

7: My best friend

I have 3 best friends who know different things about me lol. I’m too scared to trust one person entirely. Plus these three don’t talk to each other since they’re not close or even in the same country.

9: My best first date

I’ve never had a date despite being in a relationship for 2 years. We were both in boarding school.

11: What do I miss

I miss living with my roomies in boarding school. It was a strict school but we had fun breaking rules and not getting caught. Like sneaking in junk food from outside, etc.

13: Favourite color

Blue and Green

15: Favourite quote

“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” — Lilo & Stitch

17: Favourite food

Veg Enchiladas from this restaurant near my apartment.

19: What am I listening to right now

Flames by Zayn and R3HAB

21: Shoe size

23: Hair color

A mix of dark and light brown (natural)

25: Ever done a prank call?

YES

27: Meaning behind my URL

It means exactly what it says. Virtually taken by [so many fictional characters] ;)

29: Favourite song

Icarus Falls album by Zayn. I can’t choose one!

31: How I feel right now

Sleepy.

33: My current relationship status

Single (been single for almost 3 years)

35: Favourite holiday

Songkran Holiday in Thailand. It’s like a water festival.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I want a tattoo of Stitch with the Ohana quote. A few more probably but not sure what (I have no tattoos at the moment). I already have 6 ear piercings (4 in the right ear and 2 in the left) so I want an industrial piercing in my left one day.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I used to hate him. I think he probably did too cause I broke up with him. But he apologized to me a couple months back after asking what went wrong. I forgave him, but I still don’t like him. The hatred is gone though. I’m pretty sure he doesn't hate me.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 to 40 mins tops (includes shower and shampooing, getting dressed, light make up, packing my bag for uni).

45: Where am I right now?

In my room.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

I like it loud when I want to drown everyone out. Which is most of the time.

49: Am I excited for anything?

I don’t know. It’s more like excited/nervous about my future.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Too often.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I’d probably turn away or something. Not because it’d hurt me, but because I don’t want to be staring at them.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

Crappy singing (by my sister)

57: What do I think about most?

My senior thesis for college. My senior year is still 9 months away but I’m already thinking that I’ll direct a short film for my thesis.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

I don’t think so? I’m afraid of swimming in a water body with fishes (I’d prefer the swimming pool). So I’m not exactly scared of fishes per se, it’s more like scared of swimming with the fishes.

61: What was the last lie I told?

That I had a subway sandwich when I actually had McDonald’s fries with cheese dip.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I don’t believe in ghosts. Maybe aliens but gosh I need a solid sign that they exist.

65: Do I believe in luck?

Sometimes.

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Supernova by Marissa Meyers.

69: Do I have any nicknames?

I do. A lot of people can’t pronounce my real name so I have many variations of my name.

71: Do I spend money or save it?

I save it usually. But I do spend on food.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

Yep.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching YOU season 2

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

I honestly have no idea.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I’ll probably be burned and my ashes scattered.

81: My top 5 blogs on Tumblr

I’m new so I don’t know a lot of people. But here are the ones I scroll through @dailydoseofchoices @oneemofungirl @kayden-vescovi @meindraws

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid, to tell the truth on?

Hmm, I don’t know. I’d be afraid of my family finding out that I even had a boyfriend.

87: Had sex?

Nope. Glad I didn’t with my ex (not that we could in boarding school anyway. It was hard enough to make out). He’s asked me towards the end of our two-year relationship and I said no.

89: Gotten pregnant?

Nope, still a virgin. And I doubt Jane the virgin scenario would happen to me.

91: Kissed a boy?

Yep.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

Nope.

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes, once. I freaked out.

97: Had sex in public?

Still a virgin.

99: Smoked weed?

Nah. I stay far faaaaar away from it.

101: Smoked cigarettes?

Never. Nor do I want to try.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Yes, I’m vegetarian. It’s a choice. My dad eats non-veg, but I never acquired a taste for it. I do eat eggs though.

105: Been underweight?

No.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Yes!

109: Been outside my home country?

Yes. I’ve been to Singapore, Hong Kong, and a few places in the U.S. And I live in Thailand.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

I went to a tennis match in the 8th or 9th grade.

113: Cut myself?

Accidentally? Many time. I’m clumsy AF. Purposely? Once.

115: Been on an airplane?

Many times!

117: What concerts have I been to?

Sadly, none.

119: Learned another language?

I can speak 3 languages fluently, including English (which is my 3rd language) and I know basic Thai. I used to be fluent in Thai as a kid but I forgot most of it in boarding school.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

Still a vIrGin.

123: Dyed my hair?

I’ve highlighted it gold before. Just a few stripes.

125: Rode in an ambulance?

Nope.

127: Met someone famous?

Once, yes. I don’t remember who. I was an 8-year-old kid or something.

129: Peed outside?

As a kid, yep.

131: Helped with charity?

I’ve been to old age homes to give away some supplies and money.

133: Broken a mirror?

Cracked it a little. Not on purpose.

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

2 to 3? I’m not sure of the names yet.

137: Do I like my handwriting?

Nah, it’s messy AF. It also keeps changing LOL.

139: Favourite Tv Show?

The 100, Orphan Black, Full house, Fuller House, Arrowverse shows, etc. SO MANY.

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play a little bit of the following (I learned in school but never kept up with it): recorder, keyboard, violin, xylophone, harmonium, sitar.

143: Favourite pizza topping?

CHEEEEEEESE.

145: Am I afraid of heights?

Nope.

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

A lot of times.

149: What my greatest achievements are

It’s yet to come.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off loans, pay for tuition, save whatever’s left for emergencies.

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@dailydoseofchoices

155: Any question you’d like?

I don’t know haha.

23 notes · View notes

freakie-deakie · 5 years

Text

Hyunjin // If We Let Go

grammarly is a girl’s best friend; can’t guarantee she’s perfect though.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Hyunjin x Reader (angst one shot mini series // 2.9k words)

"Y/N, babe, you look stressed." Hyunjin commented, abandoning whatever he was doing and coming to sit with you on the couch as soon as you walked into the dorms.

He sat on edge as you leaned back, folding your arms across your chest and letting your head rest on the top of the couch. "It's just work, Jinnie." You sighed rolling your read to the side a little to look at him. His face looked at you with intense curiosity, his brows furrowed and lips drawn back into a thin line. "No one wants me there." you said bluntly, bringing your feet up to rest on the front of the couch, recentering your field of vision on the ceiling before closing your eyes. "It's just been a long day."

Little did you know that as soon as you closed your eyes, he fell out of character and rolled his eyes, promising himself he was almost done. Done with with what? Your relationship: completely fake on one end and completely genuine on the other. He was almost done with the bet: how long he had to date you.

But for the next three weeks he was gonna play his role and be a good boyfriend because his mama ain't raise no little bitch.

He restapled his facade to his face and gingerly touched your knee, scooting closer to you. He pondered a couple ideas for a moment before suggesting one. "What if you go take a cool shower and we can go out for the last couple of hours of daylight with a Polaroid camera?"

"I don't have any makeup with me," you said, beginning to sit up.

"I've told you a hundred times already," he looked you in the eyes, "you're even more beautiful without makeup."

Quite frankly, he didn't agree with what he said, but he didn't care how you looked in the photos because he wouldn't have to keep them for very long.

The more he considered his inward thoughts, the more he noticed how bitter he'd become towards you, who'd never once wronged him. Having to be sweet to you was never a problem when you were just friends- actually, he had enjoyed your company. But forcing himself to act like he cared was getting old, and beginning to make him more irritable.

You gave him a light smile, willing to humor him and go with his plan, knowing he was only trying to help. You stood and went to use the shower closest to his room, passing and tiredly greeting Minho on the way.

Once you closed the door behind you, Minho made his way to the living room and laughed at the scowl Hyunjin wore. When the younger huffed, Minho chuckled out a low "How you holding up?"

"She's so annoying," Hyunjin groaned. "Like, usually she's way too happy and questiony. Like 'Oh Hyunjinnie-oppa, have you eaten? Should I make you something? How was your day? Did you have fun at practice?' but now that she's not, I feel like I should feel bad that she's had a rough day but I don't care. She's like always here. She's so clingy. Jisung better pay upfront when we win this."

Minho's eyes drifted off of the younger boy's for a moment before returning. "Are you gonna tell her?"

Hyunjin shrugged and shook his head. "Nah, there's no reason to. I'll just break it off with her and then she'll avoid me anyways, thank God."

You stripped and took a short but powerful shower. The cool water mixed with wash on your oily skin after a stress inducing day felt like it was washing away all your sinful thoughts about flipping someone off or breaking the copy machine.

When you stepped out, you already felt better. You redressed and glanced at yourself in the mirror. You looked almost younger than you had ten minutes ago. Sure, at the beginning of the day your makeup may have added to your youth by covering your light ance, but as work made you feel like you aged a decade in an hour, you also began to look it.

You were slightly insecure about being barefaced in the presence of your friends, but you also knew that the nine boys who lived in the dorm under your visitation were the closest people to you. -Plus, this wouldn't be the first time they'd seen you like this as all of them broke into your apartment one night to comfort you after you had a rough surgery.

They were with you through a lot of hardships like that.

You shook off your thoughts, quickly drying your hair with Jeongin's blow-dryer and heading back to the living room. Upon your arrival, Minho sent a wolf whistle in your direction making a soft giggle escape past your lips. Hyunjin stood, grabbing his camera and a jacket, and escorting you out the door, his arm linked with your own.

On your walk through the park you talked about various things, the conversation never once becoming boring (at least, not to you).

"So I told you about my day and why I might commit murder, but I never asked you about yours." You looked at him expectingly.

'There it is,' he thought. "Mine was actually pretty good. I finally got the entire choreography down, now it's just a matter of perfecting it."

You smiled at your hardworking boyfriend fondly. You were so proud of him, words could never be enough to express that. Sometimes, you wondered if he worked too hard. "Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder," you reminded.

He wrapped his arms around you and looked into your eyes. "You're perfect," he said, placing a lingering peck on your forehead.

--three weeks later--

A few other boys sat in the living room, but Hyunjin insisted that you sit so close to him that you were basically on him, your legs pulled up and resting in his own, a protective arm around your shoulders.

He didn't seem to be interested in the banter of the others, too distracted by playing with your hair. He sighed when his fingers got caught on a knot, gently pulling the strands apart to untangle them.

"Are you okay?"you asked lowly. He nodded, but halted what he was doing.

After a few seconds, he finally asked, "Actually, can I talk to you in private?" Finally, this was it- the end. He had been looking for the right time for a few days now, as your four-month (uncelebrated) anniversary had already passed. He figured now would be as good a time as any.

He lead you to his bedroom, missing the looks of pity from two parties in the room you exited. He kicked Changbin and Seungmin out. They made visibly disgusted faces as they left, completely misreading the situation and going to reside with the other loud boys on the couches, talking about how both of you were probably sinning behind closed doors.

He silently looked at you for a minute, feeling the guilt rise in his chest. You began to scratch at the top of your hand, a nervous habit you'd had for a while. You'd picked it up when you had accidentally put poison ivy in a bouquet of flowers and tried to hide the embarrassing rash on your wrist from your friends. To this day, you could still feel it's phantom itch.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way about you anymore. I think we should break up." It took a lot if energy on his part to make put enough emotion into his voice to make it convincing.

You laughed nervously. "Did I do something wrong?" Your voice was small and full of disappointment, but you were content with that because at least it wasn't broken and full of grief. You were trying to stay level headed since he started talking. You understood that you had only been with him for a short period of time, and that you had no right to stop him if he wanted to leave, but you still needed to ask your question so that you didn't repeat whatever mistakes you made in the future.

You tried not to think about all the sappy and cute I love you's you'd both shared over the course of your relationship as the thought of those words made you embarrassed that you hadn't waited longer to say them. The time you'd spent with him, while fun, was short-lived but you were ready to accept that.

"No, you didn't do anything. This just didn't work out. It just doesn't feel right anymore." He watched you rock from one heel to another. "You really didn't do anything. I'm so sorry," his brows furrowed with his last sentence.

"Well," you took a small inhale, "I really appreciate you being honest with me." You held out your hand for a fist-bump. "Still friends, right?"

He reciprocated, giving you a small smile and nodding. "Still friends."

The air grew awkward and you mentally cursed yourself for being so stupid. You thanked him for his time and told the rest of the boys goodbye before leaving their dorm.

You made it about halfway down the hallway when you realized something. You had been to busy pushing away your complex series of thoughts to until you got home to cry into your couch pillows, that you completely forgot to grab your purse, which held the keys to let you back in to your apartment. You unlocked the door with the key that they left under the rug, not wanting to make any of them get up to let you in.

You were about to step in, grab your belongings, apologize, and be on your marry way when you heard Hyunjin's voice from the living room. You fell silent, considering just leaving and staying with a friend until someone delivered it to you. As you weighed your options, you subconsciously began to listen in.

Hyunjin had stretched his arms above his head, a bright smile in his face as he faced the rest of the boys who were now gathered in one room.

"Why do you look so happy?" Chan teased in reference to the intimate moment he figured you'd shared right before your small figure quickly skedaddled out the door.

"He's a free man," Minho commented.

Changbin and Felix, both close friends with you, quickly sat up straight and dropped their entertained expressions.

"What do you mean?" one asked.

"And why are you so happy about it?" was the other's continuation.

Jisung sighed, scratching the back of his neck and revealing the dirty little secret that they'd kept hidden for months. "The bet's over, so he doesn't have to date Y/N anymore."

Chan's gaze slowly morphed to one of stone, upset with the behavior of his teammates. "You have five minutes to elaborate," he said, quickly getting protective over his sisterly figure. Hyunjin looked to Minho and Jisung, the later being the only one willing to explain.

"We had a bet that he couldn't date Y/N for four months without catching feelings. It's about other stuff too, it's a long story," he said avoiding everyone's gaze, but especially Felix's. "Minho was in on it!" he ratted his hyung out. Minho wanted to argue but knew he was just as invested to it as the other boys.

Everyone sat there in disbelief. Woojin was the first to ask the question they were all thinking. "So did you ever really care about her?"

The culprit shrugged, taking a seat on the arm of the packed couch. "I mean we were friends until I asked her out and she got so damn clingy. Honestly, I'm happy you guys are so close with her but she's so annoying, I literally can't stand her anymore."

"That is seriously fucked up," Seungmin commented.

"Does she know?" Chan asked, only for Hyunjin to shake his head 'no.'

Felix's head snapped towards Jisung. He was mad at all of them but particularly at Jisung. "We were supposed to be her best friends! How could you even do that?"

Jisung glanced at him, then back at the floor. "Everyone knew she liked him. I was trying to help! I thought he would like her back after he spent some time with her," pleaded the strawberry blonde.

Jeongin huffed, standing making his way towards his room, frustrated with his hyungs.

"Jeongin.." Hyunjin tried, not wanting him to hate him for what he did. He was another that was close with you. They were all close to you in some way or another, but he hoped to not let this take a tole on his own relationship with his brothers.

The maknae snapped as soon as his name was called. "Maybe some of us wanted the chance you just had, but you blew it like an asshole," he stressed, pointing an accusing finger at his friend. "And I know for a fact she forgave you, because she's too nice for someone like you." He made his exit quicker, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

Everyone sat silently, not knowing whether or not to be more mad at Hyunjin or sympathetic with their baby.

In the midst of it all, a small click drew the ears of a few people.

"Oh shit, was that the front door?" Seungmin asked, running a stressed hand through his hair.

Minho pointed to the purse he'd just noticed sitting on the table. They all looked at each other with wide eyes, not knowing if they should fight their instincts to go into a frenzy or not.

"Shit," Chan cursed quietly. Everyone looked at Hyunjin. "Are you really not going to go after her?"

"I told you, I feel bad about it, but she's not my problem anymore."

Chan groaned. "Felix, since you're her only BFF with any brains left," Jisung's head hung even further down than before, "why don't you go comfort her. Hyunjin and I need to have a word in private."

Felix scurried towards the door and slammed it shut behind him, seeing your frame turn the corner towards the stairs.

"So how much was she worth?" Changbin asked, keeping his aggression at bay.

Jisung fowned, tears threatening to spill down his chubby cheeks. "Three hundred each."

"This is fucking ridiculous," he growled, standing up and going to sit in the kitchen.

Felix raced down the steps after you, mentally cursing your old soccer/track coach for being so good so good at their job.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" You didn't answer, instead booking it faster, almost tripping a couple of times. "God, Y/N, be careful."

He cursed, grabbing your arm when he finally got to you, stopping you both to catch your breath. Your face was red, your eyes a deeper hue and strained against the lights of the fire escape. Tears sparkled as they dripped off your cheeks, and your chin trembled.

"Felix, I just want to be alone right now," you tried with a weak voice. "I really don't want to be here."

He pulled your head to his shoulder and sat his head on top of yours, letting you grab him by the collar and soak his shoulder in your tears. "I'm sorry he's such a dick. Can I take you home? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but at least let me not leave you by yourself." You only nodded, latching on to him tighter and trying to decrease your volume by bawling into his shirt. He wanted to both integrate you on every aspect of your broken relationship and comfort you about it, but he waited and settled for a simple, "Come on then."

He hugged you all the way home. Although you tried to hide your face, people gave you weird looks as they passed by you on the sidewalk, one kind shop vender even offering you a flower and wishing you well.

When you got home, he made you tea and wrapped you in several blankets, sitting you on the couch. He didn't know if he should suggest watching a movie, or talking, or what, but he didn't get the chance to ask because in less than a minute your exhausted body was emitting soft snores. He didn't want to leave you so he messaged the boys that he would be staying with you and would appreciate it if someone would drop off your purse in the morning, not detailing the dramatic measures he took to get into your home.

"I know it was a fucked up thing to do but I still did it and I can't take it back," Hyunjin defended.

"I'm sorry, do you know? Because you don't at all seem sorry for it."

"I'm sorry that I did it, and I feel bad for her, but I can't change what I did so I'm sorry if I'm not upset with myself for not being able to go back in time to stop myself from doing it."

"You're ridiculous," Chan complained, folding his arms over his chest. "I want to punish you so bad, I just don't know how yet." Chan walked out of the bedroom where they were talking, still fuming at his member. Jisung and Minho were obviously in big trouble too, buy Hyunjin was the one to actually fake an entire relationship. He was convincing, too. Most of the boys believed he was just as deeply in love with her as they both often claimed.

Not only was he in trouble for lying to someone they all cared about, he was in trouble for lying to his family.

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