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just-jordie-things · 4 months

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the blackest day - fushiguro megumi

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

word count: 12.2k warnings: shibuya + light culling game arc spoilers but not very canon compliant lmfao. suggested major character death, heavy themes of depression (not reader) including: not eating, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness + suicidal ideation. mentions of needles, stitches, + blood. heavy angst with a happy ending. summary: megumi tried to tell her not to go to that station. all he can do now is think that he should've tried harder. more info: rivals/friends to lovers, lots of hurt/some comfort, megumi has reached ultimate functioning angst in this ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[ it’s not easy for me to talk about // i have heavy heartstrings. and not simple, it’s trigonometry // it’s hard to express // i can’t explain // ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I don’t care that they assigned me to go with Nanami,”

Her voice came out in a huff, irritation getting the better of her, and it was starting to become quite noticeable. Her chest was puffed, her lips were pulled into a snarl that looked completely unnatural on her usually bright features. The hand that wasn’t holding a short sword was curled into a fist so tight it began to tremble.

“Itadori needs my help more” She finished, sounding sure of this change of plan.

Megumi cursed under his breath, this petty argument being the last thing he was in the mood for. There was no time for some ridiculous change in team ups. The pairings had already been decided, and had happened for a reason. With a veil over Shibuya making communication impossible, a change like this was absurd.

“You don’t get to just pick and choose what you want to do, (y/n),” He snapped back at her, before aggressively pointing in the direction of Nanami’s team, where he and Takuma had just taken off.

It hadn’t been until too late that Megumi caught (y/n) hovering away from her group, looking lost under a flickering street lamp as she gazed off in the opposite direction of her team, chewing on her lip as she worried about her other classmate headed for the train station. Had Megumi noticed sooner, he probably wouldn’t be standing here fighting with her right now. He probably could’ve hollered for Nanami or Takuma to circle back and drag her off if they had to. But they were too far gone now to yell after, and his phone was useless.

“These teams were drawn up for a reason,” He muttered. “Now you’ve rendered it useless”

She rolls her eyes at his drama, turning to head off towards the train station, not caring about winning this argument. There were more important things to do right now than stand here and bicker with Megumi. She was getting tired of this repetitive game of his anyways.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He took a large step towards her, making her halt in her tracks before she could get very far.

“I told you,” She snapped back. “I’m going after Yuuji. Something’s not right. I can feel it”

Megumi’s eyes widened and twitched.

“You can’t be serious”

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

Her expression didn’t flinch. He could tell by the hardness in her eyes that she’d set her mind to this new plan of hers, and no matter how stupid it was, he knew deep down she wasn’t going to waver on it.

“You’re not going off on your own,” Megumi scoffs, hoping he could get her to see that she’d be walking right into a trap if she split off by herself. “Do you even know your way there?”

“I think I’m capable of reading street signs, Fushiguro”

Surname. Ouch. He was only succeeding in pissing her off.

“Just- god, just come with me, alright?” He suggests instead, thinking a compromise would sway her. “Going off by yourself right now is reckless and you know it. Come on. If the roles were reversed you wouldn’t let me do this”

Her eyes narrow, and she clenches her jaw.

“I’m not going to stand here and play the ‘what if’ game with you,” She told him. “You’re wasting time. If you cross paths with anyone, tell them I went after Yuuji”

“(y/n)-”

Before he could come up with another argument- or resort to picking her up off the ground and forcing her not to go- she was already turning on her heels and breaking into a full sprint.

Megumi had tried to follow her, but she’d always been faster than him. He called after her until his throat burned raw. Eventually he had to go off with his own team, knowing if he strayed too far then he was putting himself at just as great a risk as she’d been.

But fuck, had he made a mistake in not pushing himself to follow her.

Even if they’d both died trying to get to Yuuji, he thinks it would’ve been better than this.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Megumi wakes up that morning looking like he was in just as terrible of a state as he had the day before. And the day before that. And every day before that for the last six days.

It had been a week since the incident with Shibuya, and with every day that passed and the more ground they covered, Megumi was starting to feel worse.

Yuuta silently offered up an apple he’d found at the last shop they’d raided. Megumi barely glanced at it before shaking his head, going right to work rolling up the sleeping bag that was starting to get worn and dirty. Yuuta frowned, crouching down beside the younger man to talk quietly with him.

“You should eat something,” He suggests calmly. “When was the last time you’ve eaten anything?”

Megumi tries not to appear annoyed. He knows Yuuta is only trying to look out for him, he’d been trying to look out for everyone. Unfortunately since the impact of Shibuya, it was hard to keep everyone in check and healthy.

“Ate last night” Megumi replied.

Yuuta frowned.

“You had a bite of a loaf of bread” He replied knowingly.

Megumi paused in his movements, his sleeping bag rolled up part way, and his eyes caught the beginnings of a hole that he hadn’t noticed before. It must’ve gotten caught on some rubble or debris and torn the nylon. He frowned at the supposed tear-proof material. If it worsened it would be a nuisance, and if he was out of a sleeping bag, well, who knew when or if he’d come across another one.

Pushing that worry off for a later time, he glanced at Yuuta over his shoulder. His face was blank, as it had been for the better part of the last week.

“You don’t need to keep tabs on me,” He said. “I’m fine”

Yuuta held his stare for a long moment, hoping that if he let the lie sit there for long enough, Megumi would realize how empty it sounded.

But he didn’t budge.

So Yuuta sighs, standing and dropping the apple back into a paper bag and rolling it up so it’d tuck neatly in the backpack of supplies they’d been gathering.

“You know eventually, you’ll need to eat something,” He says matter-of-factly. “If we come across something and you don’t have the energy to fight-”

“I said I’m fine”

Despite the harsh words, Megumi’s voice is monotone, and not all that loud. In fact, he’s almost whispering. It only sends a chill of worry through Yuuta’s demeanor. He’d already been stressing over his well being- not to mention Maki’s, and Itadori’s- it was starting to be a weight on his shoulders keeping an eye on everyone.

It wasn’t that he was burdened by his friends or the guilt they bore, but after a certain amount of time, he just didn’t know how to help anymore.

Yuuji was completely unable to separate himself from Sukuna, taking on the destruction of Shibuya and blaming himself for the entire catastrophe. All the death, the chaos, and where they found themselves now, the boy could barely keep it together. Yuuta had only known him for a short amount of time, and even he found his behavior to be unsettling.

Maki had slain her entire bloodline. All but her sister, who had died trying to protect her, trying to make her stronger, so that when she broke free from their twisted clutches, she was able to take down every single one of them. Yuuta had barely approached the subject. No one did, really. Maki had briefly mentioned it when they all grouped together, and since then, it’d been radio silence.

And Megumi… well, Megumi was still beating himself up over (y/n). It didn’t matter what anyone said. It didn’t matter that Yuuji held onto some sliver of hope that she’d made it out of Shibuya before shit really hit the fan. It was as though Megumi had tuned everything out. They practically watched him dim before them, a burnt out bulb that wouldn’t light again no matter how much they prodded and tried.

For now, Yuuta let him be. The gang packed up their supplies from the spot they’d crashed the night before, and without much talk at all began moving again. Here and there they talked about direction, and brainstormed how to get around stealthily, but other than that, it was mostly a quiet journey.

Megumi remained completely silent. One hand on the strap of his sleeping bag over his shoulder, the other shoved in his pocket. Distantly he recognized that his stomach was aching and his mouth was dry, and he was sure he was also in desperate need of a shower, too. But even as the thoughts crossed his mind, they seemed to float away and fade into nothing. Just like everything else that tried to fill the time in his head, it was always replaced by the overwhelming gnaw of grief.

Maybe he didn’t deserve to eat. It wasn’t like there was much food to go around anyways. Wasn’t everyone else much more deserving of a healthier portion? What had he done in comparison to everyone else in this makeshift group of people who were once peers but now that Jujutsu Society had fallen apart… did they even have anything else in common?

Just as the mental downward spiral began, it was washed away once more by the reminder that it didn’t matter anyways. Guilt and loss settled at the forefront of his thoughts again, and he kept his head down as he continued walking.

The ironic part about all of this was that if she had been here, she’d laugh at him and smack him upside the head. Everything matters, dummy, he could almost hear her scolding him, with no bite to her bark, just as always. She always had something dumb to say like that.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Stop being so gloomy, ‘gumi!” She’d hollered, followed by a string of laughter as she skipped up to him, turning her back to Nobara and Yuuji, who happily kept walking along to the next shop on their trip.

“Definitely don’t ever call me that again” He muttered back, crinkling his nose and narrowing his eyes in distaste for the nickname. She laughed again, stopping just before him on the sidewalk, just as their friends entered a boutique, leaving them behind.

“Oh yeah?” She places her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow at him, and he wonders if she knows that their friends just abandoned them out here. “Or what?” She asks defiantly.

He’d taken notice that when she was trying to instigate a bickering match, the corner of her lips tilted up in a proud little smirk. She tended to get ahead of herself, always certain that she’d win whatever it was they were doing. From petty arguments on the sidewalk to sparring to missions where she always wanted to compete and one up him. Although after a while he had to admit it could be a little fun to show off on the easier-to-exorcize curses.

“Dork,” He rolls his eyes without a hint of genuine attitude. When she gapes at him in mock offense he raises his hand to flick her forehead. “C’mon, our friends dipped” He starts to head towards the shop Nobara and Yuuji had disappeared into, but she stays put outside.

“Yeah… I sort of let them…” She admits, a small, guilty smile stretching across her lips. Megumi raises his eyebrows at her, smiling back in amusement. Usually whatever those two were up to, (y/n) was following behind like an eager duckling. “What?” She asks innocently. “I just don’t want to spend all day looking at things I won’t buy and then carrying all of Nobara’s shit!” She defends herself.

Megumi laughs, a real laugh, his eyes crinkling at their corners and his shoulders shaking and everything. (y/n’s) almost taken aback by the action, surprised that he looked so… joyful.

“Alright, you’ve got a point. We have an opportunity here, and we should take it while we can” He begins to plot with her, and her smile stretches into a grin as she nods back at him.

“Bookstore and coffee?” She suggests quietly, as if it was more outlandish of an idea than it really was.

Megumi nods affirmatively, tucking his hands in his pockets before turning in the opposite direction, (y/n) following him right away so they could make it there before their friends noticed their departure.

She still pushed his buttons as they made their way to their destination down the street, but he couldn’t help but feel a blossom of warmth in his chest that for once he was the one getting her to tag alongside him. He would never admit it, opting to poke back at her the rest of the day like nothing had changed, but it had felt… good.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The day that annoying chirping flyhead had announced a culling game, Megumi felt a glimmer of hope spark inside of him that he barely recognized. It had only been nine or so days since the incident, but it seemed like ages since he’d felt optimistic about something- anything.

But as the flyhead spouted off the rules to the games, he’d hoped that a lineup would be included. Surely with so many sorcerers pitted against each other, there must be some condition of having all of the participants and their points on display, right?

The others recognized a change in him then, an eagerness, an impatience as he barely took in what the flyhead was announcing, only waiting to hear what he wanted.

Announce the players’ names, he silently pleaded with the damn thing. Say her name, tell me she’s a participant, tell me she’s alive.

But the rules concluded, the flyhead seemingly disappeared, and Megumi felt like a fucking idiot.

Yuuji and Yuuta shared a look, and the pink haired boy turned to give his friend an apologetic expression. He opened his mouth to say something, but Megumi tightened his hold on the strap of his sleeping bag and kept walking before he could say anything.

He didn’t want to hear any bullshit about maybes or what ifs. He just wanted to get to the next safe place by nightfall so he could lay awake on his sleeping bag for eight hours, and then repeat this whole cycle again tomorrow.

His ever so present grief and his growing hunger was starting to blend into a concoction that made him more stand-offish than usual. The others had almost cracked, barely acknowledging him at this point, simply not knowing how. Yuuji still tried, of course. Forcing a water bottle in his face, or a piece of food that hadn’t gone totally bad. He’d maybe had a few bites here or there in the last few days, not nearly enough to keep up his energy, but somehow he pushed through anyways.

Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t finding some hidden source of energy, he wasn’t persevering, and he certainly wasn’t living because he had to. If he was being honest, he’d been wondering why his body hadn’t given out on him yet. Nothing felt good anymore. If it wasn’t numb, it ached, and neither one of those options was more of a relief than the other.

He wasn’t pushing through the unmovable force of his grief. (y/n)... Nobara… Gojo… Nanami… He wasn’t staying strong in their memory, and if anything, he wished his body would just give up already so he wasn’t such a burden to those around him. Megumi spent most of his time in his own head, but he wasn’t completely oblivious. He saw the way the others talked about him with only their eyes. Short, worried glances exchanged on his behalf, each of them trying to silently convince the others to do something first, no one wanting to be the one to address it.

Tonight when he rolls out his holey sleeping bag and lays back on it, he stares at the starless sky and pleads with it. He begs the rolling clouds and inky black night to let him close his eyes, just this once, so that he won’t have to open them again.

He can’t possibly spend another long night wide awake, thinking about his hunger, thinking about her, no matter how hard he tries to shove it all deep, deep down and ignore it.

As exhausted as he is physically, sleep never takes over his body.

A tear rolls out of the corner of his eye, trekking slowly down his cheekbone. It lingers at his jaw, fat and wobbly as he clenches his teeth together as hard as he can stand it, desperate to make this tear the last.

It falls with a near silent splat against the nylon material he lays on.

The following little splats come in quick succession, seemingly a little louder as they fall one after the other. Megumi chokes down the sobs to be sure no one else could catch wind of his breakdown.

��₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

She momentarily glances up at him when he enters the room, only to scowl and turn away as soon as she recognizes it’s him. Megumi fights the urge to roll his eyes, sliding the infirmary door shut and tucking his hands into his pockets as he approaches her.

“I’m not talking to you,”

Despite her sharp glare, he laughs at the ironic statement.

“I mean it. I’m still mad at you,” She spits out, turning back to where she was stitching up the gash in her upper arm.

It was a nasty thing to look at, and probably worse to patch up on her own, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d gotten back from an assignment too late to request Shoko’s help- and reverse cursed technique.

“Seriously,” There’s more of a bite to her tone when she plunges the needle through the narrow end of the wound. “Just go”

She’s hissing and clenching her jaw before pulling the needle through and doing it again, trying to keep her stitches even. It wasn’t the easiest task with her non-dominant hand, but she didn’t want to show an ounce of struggle.

“You sure talk a lot for not talking to me” Megumi hums, still coming closer, despite her warnings.

He earns himself another glare, but he ignores it, stepping up to where she’s sat on the edge of one of the paper-covered cots. She flinches as though to lean away from him, and he raises a brow at her.

“You want sloppy stitches?” He asks pointedly, voice hushed and lacking any emotion. “Fine by me, have it heal weird if that’s what you want”

He starts to step away, and (y/n) huffs. Her eyes shut and her shoulders slump, and he takes her nonverbal defeat as his cue to pluck the needle from her hand and get to work. She wouldn’t say so out loud, but she knew his hand was steadier than hers anyways.

He works quickly and diligently. His free hand placed gently around her arm to make sure it stays still as he stitches up the gnarly cut. She tries not to react to how cold it is to the touch, but her muscles flinch when he first makes contact.

“Sorry” He mumbles without much thought, going for the fourth stitch.

“For what, exactly?” (y/n) mutters back with a furrow in her brow. “For your freakishly cold hands? Or for letting me take this hit back there?”

Megumi doesn’t respond right away, opting to keep his focus on his needlework. This only annoys her further, and he can practically feel it radiating off of her. He knew it was a matter of seconds before she blew up at him, she was probably just thinking through what she wanted to say when she screamed his head off. He could tell her to shut up and stop acting so childish, but he doesn’t.

And he’s not totally sure why. If this was Yuuji or Nobara in her place, he’d be telling them exactly where they’d gone wrong on that assignment, and to top it off walk them through how they needed to shape up before they took another one.

But it’s not Yuuji or Nobara. It’s (y/n). And his mouth stays shut.

Truth was she wasn’t necessarily wrong. He had technically let her take this hit from a Grade Two curse with a horrific set of claws. But had he not sent her that way, then she would’ve wanted to tag team the Grade One with him. And this particular Grade One had a gore streak in the deaths it had caused around Tokyo. And on that fact alone, he took it on himself, and ordered (y/n) to take on the Grade Two.

“I mean seriously what the fuck was that? You think you get to boss me around just ‘cause you’ve been doing this a little longer?”

And here she goes. He braces himself mentally for whatever she was about to throw at him.

“Or is it something else? Hm? You needed the ego boost? Needed to feel like some kind of big strong man, Megumi?” Her eyes narrow at him but he doesn’t cast her a single glance. His focus remains on the steady movements of stitching her up. “Did it feel good to play hero? Did you feel good exorcizing that Grade One and laughing when I let a measly little Grade Two take me down-?”

“I wasn’t laughing”

His voice is quieter than hers, and significantly calmer, but it still manages to shut her up. For a moment, her expression is blank while she still stares at him, and he still keeps his eyes on his task.

A lump forms in her throat, suddenly making it very hard to insult him. It remains silent between them as Megumi finishes up the last stitch, finishing it off perfectly and dropping the bloody needle on the tray beside the cot. The metallic thunk echos shortly, and then finally, he turns his attention towards her.

To his surprise, her eyes looked wet. She couldn’t possibly be holding back tears. Surely the stitches hurt, she wasn’t invincible, but she was strong, and never showed weakness. Even when that curse had grabbed her by the arm and he feared it was going to rip it clean off her body, she hadn’t cried. Screamed and swore, sure, but not a tear was shed the whole way back to campus.

“Think what you will,” He tells her, eyes flickering between hers curiously, wondering what it was that would make her tear up now. “But I’m not so callous that I would take amusement in your pain,”

She tries to swallow the lump in her throat, but it only burns more, and she hopes that he can’t see the emotion on her face, she hopes that she’s expressionless, cold, even.

“In fact, when I sent you after that curse, it was for the opposite reason. I was trying to do you a favor”

“A favor?” She repeats, intending to snap the words back at him, but her voice is strained by her burning throat, and instead she almost sounds… lost. Megumi can’t quite put his finger on it.

He nods his head once in a short motion.

“Sorry you got hurt,” He says, and he means it, but his tone still lacks any sort of emotion. He plans to keep it that way. “Just didn’t want to see you get ripped to shreds by a Grade One”

He doesn’t say anything else, and he doesn’t give her the chance to reply, or even fully react to that statement. Instead he turns around and walks right back out of the infirmary, not so much of a nod in parting as he shuts the door behind him and leaves her completely alone.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When Megumi had found Yuuji after the incident in Shibuya, he’d ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, asking if he was alright and hugging him shortly out of the pure relief that someone was there, someone lived. Even though Yuuji was in rough shape physically and mentally after everything, he was a person that Megumi could see and touch, and relief flooded through him like pure ecstasy.

“Nobara?” He’d asked, unable to finish the rest of the question. He didn’t have to for Yuuji to understand.

Yuuji didn’t have to answer aloud for Megumi to understand. His glossy eyes turned away, desperate for something else to catch his attention before he thought too hard about the fate their friend befell.

Megumi frowned, his throat going dry as he swallowed harshly.

He didn’t want to ask anymore questions. He wanted to relish the lone fact that Yuuji, his best friend, was alive and standing in front of him. He not only lived through the catastrophe but they’d reunited. He wished he could hold onto that joy for just a moment longer. But he couldn’t help himself from asking another burning question in his mind.

“A-and (y/n)?” He stammered out uncharacteristically. His panic was evident in his wide eyes and tightening grip on Yuuji’s shoulders. The pink haired boy looked back at him in alarm. “She- she left Nanami’s team to come find you, did she?” He explained the situation poorly, not wanting to waste time talking if Yuuji had an answer for him.

He doesn’t respond right away.

“Did she find you?” He asks again, his voice quieter as his features begin to fall.

His heart hammered in his chest in a way he’d never felt before. A deep rooted fear he can’t recall ever having before, even as a toddler and fearing a monster under the bed didn’t hold up against the icy hot pins forcing their way through his bloodstream now. His face felt hot as it went pale. The back of his neck felt sweaty as a cool breeze hit it. He was sure he was about to have a seizure, the panic was all too much. The longer Yuuji didn’t give him an outright response, the worse the taste of bile in Megumi’s throat became.

“I did see her,” Yuuji finally mumbles out, dropping his eyes to his hands, which he held palms up and trembling before him. “After Choso- the people that…” Yuuji coughs, the need to vomit suddenly pushing through his mind and throat. “She was trying to exorcize them all,”

He was struggling to explain what he recalled seeing that night. It was all too brutal, and his mind was trying to push the trauma into a dark corner where he couldn’t think about it if he tried. But this was important. Megumi needed to know.

“She… she was crying,” Yuuji looked up at Megumi again, who furrowed his brows and shook his head. “She knew they were still people deep down, like… Junpei”

Megumi’s head shaking grew more rapid as he processed this all too slowly for his liking.

“And then?” He asked. “And then what? Where’d she go? You got split up?” Question after question tumbled out of his mouth so quick his words began to slur together.

Yuuji wanted to cry just seeing him so worried sick, much less actually remember what happened.

“I… I didn’t see,” The pink haired boy admitted quietly, shame bringing his eyes downcast again. “I’m sorry, Megumi. W- we got separated. But there… there were so many of them…”

Megumi had stepped away, his hands falling from Yuuji’s shoulders, hanging heavy at his sides as he took a larger step back.

“I tried to find her,” Yuuji’s voice cracked as he hoped to explain himself. “Really I- I didn’t want to abandon her, I didn’t want to leave her there, not after everything she did to get to me- she- fuck- she probably saved my life showing up when she did!”

He could register that Yuuji was still speaking, but Megumi could hardly make all of it out. His vision was clouding over, and his entire body felt weak, as though he could collapse at any point. He hadn’t even realized he was heaving until Yuuji, Maki, and Yuuta were crowded around him and helping him slowly down to the ground to calm him down.

He’d never had a panic attack before.

Finding out that (y/l/n) (y/n) had likely died along with countless others in Shibuya struck the first of several panic induced attacks. Most of which he managed to keep hidden from the others, but some hit so hard and so suddenly that it was near impossible to work through it in private.

He’d been replaying Yuuji’s account of that night over and over in his head for days now, trying to find some sort of hope that she could’ve gotten out of that train station before all hell broke loose. But with a hazy recollection and no other witnesses, it was hard to pretend that she made it out alive.

At first he’d spent time looking for signs of her as they traveled. Any remains of camps he was sifting through, hoping to find that familiar necklace she always wore, or the shortsword she’d carried that night, something- anything that could point to a sign of her still being out there somewhere.

But now he barely lifted his head as he followed the group blindly, kicking at loose rubble and keeping a tight hold on his unraveling sleeping bag that was almost at the end of it’s lifespan. There would be no use in holding onto a tattered rag of nylon.

There wasn’t a chance he’d ever see her again. His denial was beginning to fade, reality giving him a cold slap to the face to wake him up. It was harsh. It left him rough around the edges, literally and figuratively. His facial features were sharper, and devoid of color. His muscles were sore, only growing more so the longer he put off eating a proper meal. If he kept this up he knew there would only be a few more sleepless nights until he didn’t stand back up in the morning.

And still, when he was offered a piece of food, he took a mere few bites before excusing himself to go lay on his ruined sleeping bag and stare at the sky.

He cursed it when it was empty and dull. He cursed it when it was full of twinkling stars and a bright moon. It was never quite right.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Y’know any constellations?”

Megumi startled upon hearing her tired voice creep up behind him. When he turned to see her shuffling out of the doors in her bare feet and ducky-print pajama shorts and matching tee, he could almost laugh. She was yawning, her eyes shut as she rubbed at them with the ball of her fist. She looked like a child.

“It’s late” He muttered when she waddled up next to him sleepily.

“No shit,” She grumbles back with a roll of her eyes. “So? Y’know any constellations or not?”

Megumi wasn’t sure what exactly she was doing out here. Had she heard him sneak out of his room to step out for fresh air? He’d left fifteen or so minutes ago. If he’d woken her up, surely she would’ve followed him out here sooner than now.

Not to mention, she’d barely spoken to him since their last assignment together, and their sort-of argument in the infirmary. The few times she had addressed him had only been out of courtesy to their present friends. But even then, her eyes never quite met his, and her words were short.

“Actually, yeah,” Megumi hums thoughtfully. “Tsumiki loved ‘em. She used to show me when I was little”

(y/n) nods, wrapping her arms around herself after realizing she wouldn’t relieve the ache in her eyes if she kept irritating them. She lets out a soft sigh as she stands beside him, tilting her head back to glance across the sky. She wasn’t sure of the last time she’d appreciated the stars. It must have been when she was still a child.

Megumi clears his throat uncomfortably, before raising his hand to trace a pattern in the sky.

“Obviously that’s the Orion’s belt,” He says, before mapping out the rest of the hunter’s shape. “The rest of Orion,” He mumbles, and he’s surprised when he glances down to see (y/n) carefully following his hand. He wonders if she can see it the way he does, like the picture in the Astronomy book Tsumiki used to haul around. Curious to see how interested she really was, he continued on to another constellation. “That’s Ursa Major,” He says, tracing the shape out slowly to give her time to adjust to the image. “And, uh, Ursa Minor is… there” He does the same for both bears.

(y/n) hums curiously, a small smile tugging at her lips in amusement. She never would have guessed that Astronomy of all things was one of Megumi’s interests.

“Do you know what your star sign is?” He asks, dropping his hand and glancing down at her. She raises a brow at him in surprise, slowly delivering her answer, half expecting him to come up short and sheepishly admit he didn’t know where that one was.

But he surprises her again, eyes darting around the sky for a matter of seconds before finding it in seconds and dragging his fingers along the main stars of her constellation with a great amount of ease.

“Alright, that’s pretty cool,” She finally confesses, shyly glancing up at him. “You’re a pretty good brother for learning all of this” She tells him.

His attention is brought back down to her as soon as she says it, finding a soft smile on her face and a look in her eyes that he can’t quite decipher. He thinks it’s akin to worry, perhaps empathy. His eyes flicker between hers a few times as he tries to pinpoint exactly what it is. She doesn’t shy away from his long silence accompanied by the eye contact that made her feel like she was an artifact under glass.

It’s quiet for a while, until eventually Megumi looks back up at the sky again. She wonders what brought him out here to begin with, but she doesn’t ask. Instead, she clasps her hands together behind her back and admires the stars with him.

“What else can you show me?”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

If it had been up to him, Megumi would’ve rather stayed behind at Jujutsu Tech to guard Tengen. Maybe if he’d sat alone in the warping hallways of the school he could pass out from the mindfuckery of it all. Then maybe, once Kenjaku arrived…

It doesn’t matter now. Yuki and Choso had already decided they’d be the ones to stand guard. He and Yuuji were already on their way to find Hakari, and there was no point in changing plans now. Besides, he didn’t want to burden Yuuji any further than he was sure he already had.

“So, you’ve met this guy?”

Yuuji’s the first to speak, and Megumi doesn’t exactly have an answer. He shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head side to side with a blank expression.

“Sort of. I guess”

Yuuji waits for further explanation, but after a few beats of silence, he realizes that Megumi isn’t going to explain what that means.

“Okay… well, do you think we can convince him to help us?”

“Don’t know” Megumi replies.

Yuuji frowns, and turns his gaze forward, fixing it straight ahead before slowly exhaling through his nose to ease his nerves.

Megumi glances at him out of his peripheral vision, and seeing his clear disappointment in his features, huffs out a breath and tries to explain himself.

“I met him for, like, a minute. One time. Before I was even enrolled at Jujutsu Tech,” He said.

Yuuji turned towards his friend with a grin, eager to hear him opening up, or at least, trying to. For once he keeps his mouth shut in the hopes that Megumi continues to talk.

“Gojo introduced me,” He went on. “And I really don’t know if he’ll help us. He’s a bit… eccentric” He mutters the last part with distaste.

“Like Gojo?” Yuuji chuckles, and Megumi tilts his head from shoulder to shoulder once more.

“If Gojo had a gambling addiction so twisted it got him kicked out of school, then… maybe”

Yuuji’s eyes widened, and he snapped his mouth shut before he could ask any other questions. Megumi’s patience may have been thin- and perhaps nonexistent at this point- but he had a feeling that he should let his friend save up some energy for his social battery. If Hakari is anything like Gojo, then he’d certainly need it.

When they stop to rest it’s not for long. Yuuji gets Megumi to eat a bit more than usual, though not by much, he takes it as a good sign. They rest just long enough to soothe the ache in their feet, but as soon as they’re moving again, the pain returns. Neither one of them complained.

THe sun was just starting to set when they finally reached their destination. Megumi stopped them both just on the perimeter of the territory. An unsettling feeling spiking in his chest had his instincts telling him not to step any closer without a plan.

Silently, he glances over to Yuuji, who’s already surveying the area. He must have felt it, too.

“Cursed energy?” Yuuji mumbles, his brows furrowed as he meets Megumi’s hard stare.

The dark haired boy nods his head once in confirmation.

“Yeah,” He hums back. “And a lot of it”

It was impossible to ignore. Cursed energy in great quantities had a natural buzz, like static electricity in the air. This wasn’t that at all. If Megumi closed his eyes and focused on it, he was sure he could feel the ground below him vibrating with thick waves of energy.

One thing was for sure, they were in the right place. But whatever it was that was happening here put him on edge.

“Keep your guard up,” He muttered, stepping past the brush they’d been hiding behind and heading towards the building. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure Yuuji was following. “And your expectations low” He adds upon seeing the grin on his friend’s face.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Arms up, Megumi!”

Despite her offensive stance and the glow of cursed energy around her fists, (y/n’s) voice was full of pure delight. Sometimes when Megumi would spar with her, he would be reminded of Maki. He never understood why she never sought her out instead, surely the older sorcerer was a better match for her twisted delight with training. Nonetheless, here he was on a Saturday, rolling his eyes as he raised his hands to keep his face behind his arms so that when she hit him she didn’t break anything.

(y/n) spoke as if she could read his thoughts.

“Skipping out on training doesn’t get you to Grade One, y’know,” She told him as they started circling. “And if Yuuji can’t teach me Black Flash, I’ll have to learn it myself!”

“Did you even ask Nanami?” Megumi grumbles, already knowing her answer.

She wasn’t one to ask for help. Only ever requesting a training partner- or victim, as Nobara had once affectionately put it.

She didn’t give him an answer anyways, throwing a fist towards his exposed stomach, trying to apply her cursed energy at the last possible moment. She not only didn’t succeed in using Black Flash, but she missed hitting him too, as he dodged with a graceful sidestep.

“If you’re so scared, why’d you say yes?” (y/n) asked, gearing up to find a weaker spot on him to aim for.

He doesn’t want to answer that, but she clearly isn’t going to make her attack until he gives her something, so he huffs.

“No one else would wake up at this hour on a weekend” He says lamely. It feels like a lie when he says it, even though Megumi knows it’s the truth.

It was seven in the morning, after all. Yuuji and Nobara likely wouldn’t be awake for a few more hours. If (y/n) needed a partner to train, her options were severely limited.

“Guess you’re right” She shrugs.

In the same motion she throws another punch at him, this time her cursed energy crackling in her hand, giving her some hope. But even though she landed a hit on his shoulder, it was still unsuccessful.

She groans loudly, to which Megumi scowls, seeing as he was the one that just got punched. He rolls his shoulder to work out the ache before taking his defensive stance again, waiting for her to try again.

“You’re not in the right mindset” He points out.

She raises a brow at him.

“You wanna chase me around a bit?” She suggests, only half jokingly. Megumi snorts, but stops himself before he could actually laugh at the idea.

“No,” He shakes his head. “You should try something else”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” He huffs, annoyed for trying to walk her through a technique he’d never even used. Still, he finds himself brainstorming another approach. “Try psyching out,” He suggests, nodding his head as he thinks it through. “It’d be more effective that way anyways. If you’re using hand-to-hand with an opponent but don’t lead with it, you’ve got the element of surprise on your side, too,”

(y/n) nods along with him, finding the advice to be surprisingly solid.

“So if you let them underestimate you, then catch them off guard, you’d probably be good as gold” He finished.

She beams at him as she raises her fists again, ready to take his advice out on him right away.

“Just remember you suggested it when I take you to the infirmary later” She teases.

Megumi smirks, widening his stance and raising his arms to protect his face again.

“You’ll still have to figure out the technique” He reminds, but the coy look on his face suggests that he had no doubt in his mind that she could master it in no time.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The inside of the building was so loud and rambunctious, it was downright overstimulating. Megumi fought the urge to cover his ears as soon as they entered the premises. Crowds of people swarmed multiple levels- he counted about six before getting distracted by all the pushing and shoving- and it was no secret what it was they were wildly rooting for.

“A fighting ring, huh?” Yuuji grinned, not out of delight for the sport, but surprise for the timing of a setting like this. Did these people even know about the games?

“Great,” Megumi clicked his tongue bitterly as he surveyed the crowds with a furrow in his brow. “Should’ve expected he’d pull some shit like this” He muttered too low for Yuuji to make out what he was grumbling about.

The squared ring where the current match was taking place wasn’t too far from where Yuuji and Megumi found themselves, but with all of the people in the way it made it difficult for them to see who was winning. Too many arms in the air with money in their fists blocked the fight. But it seemed whoever was up there was getting thrown around like a ragdoll. The sound of a body rapidly being smacked against the rough mat or against the chains surrounding the ring were heard in quick succession.

However despite the sound of someone being brutalized, the match continued. Neither of them have caught a glimpse of either combatant, but they knew it must’ve been an impressive lineup as it had been a few minutes of this now.

“Is this even legal?” Yuuji asked. Megumi scoffed, although he wasn’t trying to deliver a rude response.

“Not even a little bit” He mutters back with a shake of his head.

Wordlessly, they decide they’re going to push through the horde of chanting people to get a better look at what was going on. They pause in their shoving when a booming voice erupts from an intercom, the screech of an excited announcer sounding throughout the building and echoing across the concrete infrastructure.

“Place your final bets now!” He drawled every word out for dramatic effect. “Will our resident Panda live to see another day?”

Yuuji and Megumi locked eyes instantly, and without having to say a thing, began pushing and shoving forward again. The sea of people cast them dirty looks and occasionally pushed back to scold them for their rude behavior, but they paid it no mind.

There could only be one Panda in that ring, right?

Sure enough when they got closer to the square, they could see the wide, furry expanse of a panda- The Panda’s- back. His shoulders were trembling, not from pain or fear, but from the rambunctious laughter he let out. He raised his paws, tilting his head back as his howl boomed.

Yuuji’s face brightened excitedly upon seeing their old friend. Megumi couldn’t help but feel some relief as well. Neither of them had considered the possibility of scattered sorcerers they knew being here.

They were close enough now that when Panda spoke, they could make out what he was saying. The crowd around them was too busy screaming and chanting threatening cheers to care about what the fighters in the ring were saying to one another, but Yuuji and Megumi did their best to listen in.

“Just try not to knock me out this time!” Panda said through his laughter.

Was he throwing the fight? Megumi didn’t quite understand the context to this statement.

“Last time they didn’t bother to move me off the ring, I slept here all night!” Panda continued, his laughing ceasing as he took on an irritated tone. “Ruined my back!”

His opponent only laughed. Something feminine and twisted, but undoubtedly genuine.

Megumi’s heart plummeted to his stomach. He recognized that sound.

When Panda’s body was knocked back into the chains of the ring from a swift but heavy kick to the chest, his opponent was finally made visible.

A girl. Not that girls couldn’t fight, but this particular girl had a cutthroat attitude when it came to fistfighting a bear. It seemed every swing of her arms as she landed hit after hit on him grew faster in speed. Half of her face was covered with a black mask, but the bloodied grin on her face was that of someone who believed they couldn’t possibly lose, no matter what beast of an opponent they might face.

Recognition flashed in Megumi’s face, making him go pale as he watched her strike two blows to Panda’s jaw so quickly it had to have given him whiplash, sending his furry head back and forth with such great force.

If Panda was throwing the fight, it didn’t really look like it. He blocked a hit here and there with his massive paws, but she always seemed to move quicker to outsmart him. Ducking and weaving around him with graceful feet and agile movements to keep herself from getting caught by him again. Clearly she’d learned a lesson when he’d been throwing her around earlier.

When Panda did try to land a hit on her again, she grabbed his large wrist in one hand, still grinning as she used the momentum of his swing to swing herself forward and kick her feet into his chest.

The first from the right foot, directly against his ribcage, knocking all wind out of him.

The crowd began to go wild, anticipating something Megumi hadn’t caught onto yet.

The second from the left foot, kicking lower against his stomach, making him curl over and heave.

But before he could catch his breath or clutch his stomach, she struck with her right foot again.

The third and final blow came with a shock of blue energy, an abundant amount of cursed energy striking him in the chest so hard it sent him a few feet backwards, crashing into the chains and crumpling to the mat in a heap of black and white.

It was undoubtedly Black Flash.

She didn’t taunt him as the referee began his countdown before calling a knock out and declaring her a winner. She didn’t strut around or try to rile up her fans in the crowd. Not that she needed to, the people around Megumi and Yuuji were clawing at their own faces in astonishment from watching her take her opponent down with ease and showmanship.

And when the match was officially over and the announcer was hyping the crowd up for the next fight over the intercom, she slid out of the ring and left the area without so much as a wave. It took a few minutes for Panda to get up, but eventually he was sauntering his way out of the ring too, waving to the few people who were his diehard fans and didn’t take his defeat tonight as anything more than some bad luck.

“Come on” Megumi beckoned Yuuji to follow him, his feet already moving as fast as they could take him through the mob, struggling to follow the exact direction that Panda and his opponent before him had gone.

Yuuji kept up fairly well, but Megumi wouldn’t have noticed. He was driven forward by absolute panic, his heart racing in his chest with a feeling he’d thought he’d relinquished days ago when he’d tried to stop living in denial.

But he couldn’t get the image of that girl out of his mind. She was so… he couldn’t get his hopes up. Her laugh was so familiar he couldn’t have possibly mistaken it for someone else's… he shouldn’t get his hopes up.

“Yo! Panda!”

Eventually the crowd thinned out enough that Yuuji tried using the power of his loud holler to get their friend’s attention. Panda perked up immediately, spinning around and searching the crowd for the familiar voice. It didn’t take long for his eyes to land on the waving boy with the unmistakable head of pink hair. He grinned, and his ears twitched a bit as he turned completely and began to make his way towards the pair.

“Itadori!” He beams wider as he reaches them, as if they could have turned out to be figments of his imagination. “Fushiguro!”

He hugs them both at once before either could protest.

“I can’t believe you’re here! Did you come to see me fight?” He laughs at his own joke, shaking his head before they could even say anything. “Really though, what are you doing here? It’s not as fun as it looks, y’know”

“We’re looking to talk to Hakari-”

“Who was that with you?” Megumi speaks up before Yuuji could begin his explanation.

Yuuji turns to him with a confused look, which Panda shares for a moment, before he chuckles.

“She went down that way,” He said, pointing behind him in the direction he’d been heading. “(y/n/n) always ditches fights fast. Hates the crowd, I guess. Not me, I love the-”

“Wait, (y/n/n)?” Yuuji repeats the semi-familiar nickname, his jaw going slack and his eyes widening.

He turns to share a look with Megumi, but it seemed the raven haired boy was already processing just whose nickname that could’ve been. His face was flushed so pale he looked sick.

“As in (y/n)-(y/n/n)?” Yuuji continues.

“Yeah,” Panda nods affirmatively, not understanding just how devastating his casual response was for the younger sorcerers in front of him. “She’s-”

“She’s alive?” Megumi finally speaks.

His voice is hardly above a whisper, but the words are like a dropping bomb. Clear, and unmistakable.

Panda blinks in shock, his features contorting in realization as he looks between his two friends. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t even know where to start.

So he nods his head, and turns to point down the corridor he’d been heading once more.

He gives them specific directions to where she’d been likely to go. Megumi listens but doesn’t quite hear a thing he’s saying. His heart is pounding in his ears, his body is going hot, and even once his feet are moving on their own accord- apparently having understood the directions just fine without his ears- he frets that he might break down into a panic attack if he’s not quick enough.

The warning signs are there, the labored breaths, the hot and cold flashes in quick succession, his blurring vision- but he ignores all of it, racing through what was left of the crowd to slip into the near empty corridor. Yuuji is hot on his tail as they dart through, eyes moving in all directions at every doorway and passerby, just to be sure that they wouldn’t miss her.

“(y/n)?”

Her name leaves his mouth in a strangled choke of syllables, as though it were his first time speaking in months.

She hadn’t been facing his direction, her hand still on the handle of the door she was about to open. Her movements had been rushed, like she were hoping to sneak into the room and lock the door behind her as quickly as possible.

But now, as her hand stilled and a chill shot up her spine at the familiar voice, her movements were far too slow as she turned towards the owner of said voice.

Megumi and Yuuji are standing a few feet down the hall, their heavy footsteps having skid to a stop when they finally did see her. She’s closer to them now than she had been in the ring, and although she still wore the mask, she was far more recognizable now.

Her hand trembles as she raises a hand to her head, pulling at the black material of her mask until it gives way, sliding off her head and pooling in the palm of her hand, revealing her face completely now.

Her eyes were wide as they moved between Yuuji and Megumi slowly, disbelief written in her features from the way her brows drew together, to the part in her lips but no words coming out, to the way her eyes began to water as they snapped back into reality and began to move closer to her.

“Megumi?” She drops his name in a mumble, barely audible even to herself, but seeing him here, right now, has her in such a state of shock that she could have believed Panda threw her around too rough and now she was experiencing delusions.

But then she’s moving too, her feet shuffling at first before picking up pace and running towards them once she’s close enough that she didn’t even need to.

“(y/n)!” Yuuji cheers when they’re huddled close together again.

“Yuuji!” She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight, rocking back and forth in bliss upon seeing her beloved friend safe and before her now.

When they part, Megumi still hasn’t figured out what it is he should even say. He doesn’t know where to start, doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and suddenly feels so anxious he worries he might throw up. To his luck, (y/n) acts before he has to, and she’s giving him the same warm welcome.

Her arms are tight around his shoulders, and her fingers curl into the material at the back of his uniform jacket. She gathers the fabric in her fists, making sure that he won’t pull away until she’s squeezed every bit of comfort out of his embrace as possible.

And to her surprise, he returns to affection with more force than she would’ve thought. One arm around her waist, keeping her snug against his chest, the other laying upwards against her spine so that he could bury his hand in her hair and cradle her head close to him. He’s shaking, she can feel it, and she pushes closer until her face is buried against his shoulder, hoping to ease his panic.

“We- I thought-” He gasps between struggling breaths, and she’s never heard him sound so broken. He drops his head so his lips hover over her ear when he finds his voice again. “I thought you were dead”

Her heart spikes with an odd feeling, and she squeezes him a little harder before pulling back.

“Alive as ever” She says with a weak smile and an awkward shrug of her shoulders.

Megumi has to shove his hands into his pockets to hide their obvious trembling. The rush of adrenaline in his system hadn’t quite worn off yet, and at this rate he wasn’t sure that it would.

“Well what happened?” Yuuji asked. “How’d you end up here?”

She lets out a humorless chuckle before wincing.

“It’s… it’s not an interesting story,” She explains, then beckons with her hand to have them follow her back to her door. “Here, I sorta have my own space, if you want to come in I can tell you about it, and then you can tell me what you’re doing here, too”

Yuuji begins a long winded rant right away. He tells her all about meeting Yuuta and dying again, and despite Megumi sending him a dirty look for going into too much depth about the parts that didn’t matter as much, (y/n) was an attentive listener, taking in every detail and asking him questions, too. A lot about Yuuta, seeing as she hadn’t crossed paths with him in months, it was good to know he was still out there and on their side. Yuuji continued on about the culling games, and how they had come here originally looking for Hakari.

“But then we found you and Panda- hey wait, do you know Hakari?” Yuuji asked excitedly. “Maybe you could talk to him for us-!”

Her eyes widen with uncertainty, a nervous smile stretching over her lips as she shakes her head quickly.

“I- I don’t know about that,” She tells him. “He doesn’t really come out much, I think I’ve seen him once since getting here. I wasn’t exactly trying to get on his radar. He doesn’t love those affiliated with Jujutsu Tech, you know”

“What? Why! He must like you, your fight was very entertaining!” Yuuji gushes. Megumi sends him another look that he ignores. “And you mastered Black Flash! He’s got to be interested in- ow!”

Megumi smacked his hand upside the back of Yuuji’s head, making sure this time that he didn’t miss the look he was giving him. His displeasure wasn’t exactly subtle. (y/n) laughed through her nose at the pair that hadn’t seemed to change too much in their time apart.

Besides the fact that Yuuji had a few more scars on his face. And Megumi looked like he had lost a bit of weight. Besides that, their demeanors hadn’t changed one bit. For a second at a time, she could pretend things were normal again.

“Go find Panda and tell him our plan,” Megumi orders gruffly. “See if he has any ideas on how to get Hakari to see us”

“What? But-!”

Megumi widened his eyes, silently telling Yuuji to go. The pink haired boy huffed, but stood from his seat on the floor and shuffled towards the door.

“And keep a low profile!” Megumi called, only for Yuuji to wave him off nonchalantly before shutting the door behind him.

(y/n) chuckled when it was just the two of them, turning to face him again.

“So,” She breathes out a heavier exhale than she’d expected. “How’s he really holding up?”

“How you’d expect,” Megumi replies honestly. “It was really rough for a while. We all were… pretty messed up. Still are, I guess”

(y/n) frowns.

“Yeah,” She mumbles. “Shibuya… was…” She drops her head before she could finish her thought. There wasn’t a word strong enough to explain the devastation of the incident.

Megumi’s fingers begin to twitch, fiddling and locking together as he thought over what he wanted to say next.

“Look, before we…” He starts, but loses momentum quickly. He clears his throat to try again. “When I last saw you, I-”

“It’s okay,” (y/n) cuts him off before he could say anything more. The face he makes is uncertain, and she gives him a nod as she repeats herself. “Really, Megumi, it’s okay. It was just a fight, it didn’t mean anything”

“But I-” He starts, only for her to shake her head again. “But it did mean something” He argues.

“We fought a lot, Megumi,” (y/n) chuckles. “Trust me, if I was holding onto resentment over every time we ever argued, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now”

“No- not like that,” Megumi shakes his head. “It meant something because you left and I- I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, (y/n),” His voice holds a grave tone that has her kind smile faltering and her brows pinching together as she watches him. “Yuuji said he lost track of you when you were dealing with all the transfigured humans and- and then you were just gone”

(y/n) blinks, her mouth opening and closing a few times as she realizes just how long it had been since they’d seen each other. How long he must’ve carried around guilt and grief over her. It makes her heart sink, and she shuffles forward on her knees to sit closer to him.

“I got dragged out of the train station pretty quick,” She tells him. “There were so many of… them… and I knew that I was worrying Yuuji while exorcizing them. Cause- cause it didn’t feel like exorcizing,”

Megumi nods, recalling how Yuuji had told him she’d been crying during the whole ordeal, something quite out of character for her. Even now as her eyes begin to tear up, the sight is alarming.

“It felt like… like killing,” She whispers. “So I started leading them away and got outnumbered and got dragged out further. By the time I… once they were all gone, I was out of it. I must’ve passed out or something, because when I came to, Shibuya was… gone. I tried finding you- I tried finding anyone-” She tries to catch her wording, but she’s not quick enough. “But it was just rubble and dust. It was nothing. After a while of trying to find somewhere to land to… to rest and regain some strength, I found this place and Panda with it and I just… stayed. It sort of started to feel like this is all that was left,”

She lets out a shaky sigh, rubbing her clammy hands over her thighs to relieve some of the stress building up in her body. It doesn’t do much, but she continues the action a few more times.

“You know, I didn’t necessarily think I’d ever see you again, either,” Her eyes are downcast as she speaks. “For a while I wondered, um, if you’d show up here…”

“Sorry it took so long,” Megumi replies quietly. She lets out a short, watery chuckle. “But we’re here now,” He adds, moving closer to her, until she looks up at him, surprised by the sudden close proximity. Her eyes are wide as they flicker quickly over his face, trying to read his expression.

It was a new one for Megumi, one she’s not sure she’s ever seen on him before. Except maybe the night in the infirmary, when he’d stitched up her arm. Her face feels warm, and she can’t decide if it’s because of the memory, or if it’s because of how close he is to her.

“And I’m not going anywhere without you” He tells her. His voice is low, but instinctively, she doesn’t feel a shroud of doubt in his words.

She blinks to try to rid the tears from her eyes, but after reliving the last week and a half, and reuniting with the people she’d been naively hoping were just missing and not gone was starting to get on top of her. She’d spent quite some time shoving down bitter thoughts and choosing to stay in denial. As long as she focused on her matches and made enough of an earning to have a place to crash, she tried to stay as blissfully ignorant as possible.

Still, there had been a few sleepless nights when she’d wander outside and try to find a few constellations in the sky, or when she’d lay wide awake and let the tip of her finger trace over the perfectly straight scar on her shoulder.

“Really?”

The question comes out with a shaky breath. She held no uncertainty in him, Megumi was a man who was always true to his word, but reality was beginning to settle in and the urge to hold on to him and never let go was growing stronger.

Megumi nods, clearly amused that she even had to ask. It felt like the first time in a long time that a smile began to twitch on his lips, the muscle feeling awkward from underuse. His eyes gleam as he reiterates his intentions.

“We’re not splitting up again,” He tells her, a weight hanging on to each word. His eyes move between hers, and when she blinks, a tear sticks to her lashes. “I’m not losing you again” He adds in a smaller voice.

A choked sound that almost sounded like a laugh comes out of her as she nods back at him, shaky and fast. For once, agreeing with him completely.

To (y/n), there had always been something about Megumi that drew her to him. He was easy to pick on, easy to tease and laugh at. She found joy in their banter, even when it was less petty and more serious, there was a magnetic spark between them that she just couldn’t deny. She’d tried to explore that feeling, before Shibuya. But she’d never known how exactly to approach it, always becoming apprehensive of the foreign feeling.

Now, it felt so easy to jump into the unknown territory that she felt silly for never having worked up the courage to do so before. The fear of losing someone she cared so much about was too great, and there was no time to waste.

Her tear dropped onto her cheek, the fat droplet rolling slowly across her skin until it dipped into the edge of her wobbly smile. A few more followed shortly after, unable to be stopped no matter how hard she willed herself not to cry.

Just as she raised the back of her hand to hastily rub the wetness away, Megumi beat her to it, moving closer to her as both hands worked softly to catch each tear. They were cold against the hot wet skin, just as she’d remembered, and she found herself shutting her eyes and leaning into how comforting they felt. The tears didn’t stop, but she didn’t seem to be in any anguish.

“I’m not losing you again either,” She whispers, her fingers skimming over his wrist before she clasps her hand around it, making sure he doesn’t pull away just yet. “I- I can’t” The words come out in a small whimper.

Megumi nods in understanding. His thumbs swiping across her cheekbones, and softly under her eyes, trying to catch every last tear.

“I know,” He says softly, still nodding as his eyes wander her features, making sure there weren’t any lingering tears he’d missed. “I know, and you won’t, ‘m not goin’ anywhere”

When their eyes lock again, she’s overwhelmed by an influx of emotion. An eagerness to have him back by her side, a desire to keep him there next to her and never let him go, to never let anything take him away again.

“Listen, ‘gumi, I-” She tries to put words to the feeling, wanting to explain to him that having him here with her was sending her heart into orbit, wanting to tell him that knowing he was alive and he was okay was the first time she’d felt happiness in what seemed like weeks.

But the words are too difficult. They’re too big and they get caught in her throat. Rather than try to force them out, she acts on it instead.

Megumi anticipates the movement before she leans forward, catching the way her eyes rapidly shift between his and his mouth. He reciprocates the look, curious to see if it meant what he’d thought it did, but just as quickly as his eyes land on her parted lips, she’s shooting forward and pressing them against his.

It’s a rushed kiss at first, full of anxiety and grief that hadn’t fully been relieved yet. It’s messy lips and clashing teeth, but once they both realize that whatever this feeling was, it was reciprocated, they relaxed.

Megumi sighs through his nose as he cups her cheeks and keeps her close, kissing her a little more softly, a little more deliberate in his need to display to her just how much he’d missed her. In turn, (y/n’s) hands rest against his shoulders, squeezing just firm enough that he could feel her there, without being too aggressive.

Kissing her like his life depended on it made him feel like everything could turn out alright now that she was with him again. Now that he was sure she was here, feeling the heat in her cheeks, and her soft breaths against his cheek, Megumi thinks his life had depended on this.

Up until about an hour ago he’d been mentally checked out since Shibuya. Seeing her again brought him back a sense of purpose he hadn’t even really noticed he’d been losing.

Her hands are gentle when they card into his hair, combing softly through the dark locks that seemed a little longer since the last time she’d seen him. He sighed at the sensation, unintentionally breaking their kiss.

The tips of his hair tickle her skin as his forehead drops to rest against hers. (y/n) lets out a soft, breathless giggle before opening her eyes.

He’s smiling at her. So full of delight that his blue eyes seem to gleam, and they’re crinkled at their corners. She can’t help but smile back at him, her heart full and her face warm, even with his cool hands still holding it.

Megumi moves then, fingers catching a loose strand of hair. He twirls it thoughtfully for a moment before tucking it behind her ear carefully, and laying his palm across her cheek again. His long fingers splay out, wanting to touch as much of her as he possibly can, just to keep sure that she really is in front of him.

“No more runnin’ off, alright?” He murmurs, the tip of his nose grazing hers.

Her hands latch behind his neck, her focus on his lips as she thinks about kissing him again. They linger there for a moment before shyly meeting his gaze again.

“Don’t let me go again��

He shakes his head, a silent vow to never do anything to push her away again, and even if he fails to keep her by his side, he swears he’d follow her, wherever she may go.

With his eyes falling shut he leans in again, lips grazing hers as he speaks.

“I won’t,” He murmurs, and then once more before he seals their lips again. “I won’t”

She could never part from him again. She loved him too much to even conceive the idea. What was next to come would be difficult, she may not have known Hakari very well personally, but she knew enough to be anxious about approaching him. He was a bit of a loose cannon. However she was sure that with Megumi- and Yuuji and Panda of course- they would come up with the right plan of action to gain his help.

With needy hands and a needier heart she clings to him now, just to be sure that she could never look back and regret not holding onto him tight enough. He does the same, dropping his hands to circle his arms around her waist and pull her in impossibly close to him.

Whatever it took, he’d keep hold of her for the rest of their lives. Nothing could ever take her from him again as long as she was right there in his arms.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆��₊✧

[ i got you where i want you // you did it, i never // i’m falling for forever ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

xoxo ~ jordie

#fushiguro megumi #fushiguro megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi imagine #megumi x reader #megumi imagine #megumi #fushiguro #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro imagine #megumi fushiguro friends to lovers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagine #megumi brainrot

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dottores · 5 months

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okay well, i logged back in, obviously, because there are clearly some things that need to be addressed and have been taken out of context. just because i’m leaving doesn’t mean i should sit here and let my name be smeared.

to preface this, anantaru and i had a discussion where we came to a congenial understanding of what happened, there's been an acknowledgment on both sides of misunderstanding and believing distorted rumors and people that we probably should not have, but i’m still going to give a full explanation as to the background of everything so you all can understand and come to your own opinions. plus, if there's going to be a call-out post directed majorly at me made, i want an official address of it.

please do NOT send any hate their way, we have ended this discussion on good terms and have worked out what exactly was stirring this discourse between us. (spoiler alert: there was a third-party shit-stirrer that we both considered a decent friend at the time!)

i don’t really need a reason to block someone, and i shouldn’t have to explain it, but i did and i will again but more explicitly this time: @/anantaru made a post that i did not like. it’s as simple as that. it was a post about genshin characters and sex icks and one of the lines were “venti: too drunk.” i’m not anti-dc, but there are topics that i am sensitive about because i was sa’d in my freshman year of college—that is something i have talked about on this blog before, many of you who've been around since my tr era are aware of it. i acknowledged, and tee acknowledged, that this was probably a joke and was not meant to be taken the way i took it, but the aloof/casual way it was mentioned without any TW of implied dubcon, and without acknowledging that it was at least dubcon and could border on noncon in certain interpretations made me uncomfortable. i don’t mind seeing it as long as i’m warned. if it was tagged properly, i would have moved on without much care, but it wasn’t, so i was scrolling through the post snorting and was hit with that and i was made uncomfortable because i didn't like how it was just being passed off as an ick, and i blocked. there was no reason for it to go beyond what it did, yet we are here. anantaru mentioned that if you frequent their blog, you would know that they often write about venti and reader being drunk—i don’t frequent their blog, in fact this was my first encounter with them being reblogged onto my dash by shared mutuals, so it rubbed me wrong. thats the end of it.

i’m not sure the exact timing, but i believe it was two(?) weeks after this, when i reblogged an unpopular opinion’s post with an opinion that i thought was fairly harmless. sure, looking back on it i could have phrased it better, i’m not going to deny that, but pinpointing my one opinion out of the hundreds of others that were objectively far more controversial than mine and crucifying me for it is uncalled for. you guys know very well that i do not have the time or energy to sift through random people’s blogs to look for minors. every once in a while i glance at the notes of shit posts that happen to be on my dash and i’d be a bit startled at finding a minor in them because i still do think you should at least try to catch minors who interact with shit posts because that’s the easiest way to find them. but i was working at a medium sized firm for a year and a half at the time of the post and i am currently in law school, i do not have the time to be psychotic about people’s likes and interaction, and even if i did have the time?? i’ve always gotten incredible interaction from y’all lmfao, imposing the idea that i’m jealous is entirely inane. i do still stand by the fact that my words were twisted, i was made out, more than once and by more than one person after the next bullet point's events, to have been some psycho that stalks peoples’ posts for excuses as to why they get interaction when that is simply not the case.

regardless, after this incident, anantaru made a vague post that was almost directly quoting my tags from the reblog and was thus sent to me because many shared mutuals put together that it was about my tags. this was upsetting for multiple reasons 1) i had blocked anantaru by this point so i felt a bit violated that i was being vagued for something by someone that i blocked. 2) i started getting hate anons en masse after it, some of which were very unnecessarily explicit. needless to say, i was very upset and made a subpost on my main account after noticing i’ve been blocked on ao3 because 1) i was already upset and i didn’t even know why anantaru seemed to have it out for me much less go to the point of blocking on ao3 which leads into my next point and 2) i thought it was a bit ridiculous because the only thing blocking on ao3 stops is people from commenting on posts and i clearly was not going to comment on a post of someone who i was not on good terms with. reasoning aside, anantaru can block who they want and i was out of line for making comments about that in particular. i’ll admit that, and apologize for it.

a screenshot was taken from my personal—not a good moment for me, obviously, but anantaru claimed in their post that it was about them with no evidence. i dmed them about this in particular because i was genuinely confused, we spoke about it, i offered them proof that it was not them because i had a discussion about this post with a close friend at the time of posting it and they believed me. i will attach screenshots below (cropped because there's no reason to attach the whole conversation) because i feel as if this accusation was rather extreme and i wish it would’ve been removed because it was obviously not my best moment. an explanation for the post itself, i was upset over plagiarism accusations regarding something i put my heart and soul into and then seeing the same person that made them consistently on my dash just straight up triggered me, for lack of a better word lol, so i made a vent on my personal. how it got misconstrued as to be anything about anantaru is baffling to me but i suppose that's a question for the subject of our next bullet point. i don’t want to go into detail about the accusations in themselves because i don’t want people to send the actual person who it’s about hate. regardless, that post was not about anantaru, i have never called them a cunt nor have i ever called them a gatekeepy cunt, though i’m beginning to think i should probably remove the word from my vocabulary atp, i use it far too flippantly. anyway, i do not know them well enough to formulate any sort of opinion like that. aside from that, in our discussion we came to an understanding over it and i wish that would have been cleared on their blog as wel. so i'll attach here (i crossed some out because i don't want to breach any boundaries regarding what anantaru might be comfortable sharing but i do think it's fair for me to want this particular point fully cleared as it was a bold accusation remaining up):

5. in our discussion, we came to realize that we have/had a shared mutual who was fostering discourse between the two of us. many of you will recognize her as audri aka alucrds, who has supposedly left tumblr by this point—i suspected this and anantaru has confirmed it while we were talking. audri was sending anantaru my posts claiming that they were about anantaru, but i will stress that the only actual discussions i ever had with anyone about anantaru was with tee and eris about that initial joke because it had upset me at the time, it never extended beyond that and it certainly was never with audri. my only conversation with audri that mentioned anantaru at all was probably around a week or so after i made the post in point 3, when audri asked me about ao3 blocking in casual conversation and i offhandedly mentioned that anantaru had blocked me on there—audri was a close friend at that point and iirc, she had actually told me right after that that anantaru had her blocked on tumblr, i had no idea that they'd been mutuals at all but either way, it was an offhanded comment that led to nowhere (or so i thought LOL). looking back on it, it was clearly her baiting me into giving her information about the post i made a week or so prior because after talking with anantaru, they explained that they got an anonymous message claiming that i was shit talking them for blocking them on ao3 and the only person that could have put together that the vent post from point 3 was about anantaru was audri herself. audri continued to evidently cherry-pick random vent posts of mine to show anantaru and claim that they were about them. why? i wish i could tell you. i considered audri a decent enough friend, and though she had her fair share of issues with mutuals and other friends of mine, i never really thought she’d stoop to this with me. but i guess there’s really no explaining people who thrive in discourse.

6. my comment in my most recent post about being harassed on ao3 and in comments and in asks was not about them at all. i thought it was very clearly about heliotropes (my dottore series) and pressure to update from certain readers, but i'm clarifying that now.

7. i never intended on directly addressing this, which is why i did not directly name anantaru in my post, if i’d known at the time that tee was going to end up addressing all of this, i would’ve just been straight up with all of it.

anyway, i think that’s all, hopefully this will be the last post for real as i am tired mentally and now i am also physically sleep deprived. i've been up since three so forgive me for typos and grammar errors. this all has gone on for over a year. sorry for all the discourse on y'all's dash, wish i could have left with a bit more grace than this. rumors have been blown out of proportions and blindly believed, things have been taken out of context, such is life. i made my fair share of mistakes on my personal blog with my vents, others have admitted and owned up to their own mistakes, some will never admit to their mistakes. such is life. it moves on, always does. i know all of y'all are smart enough to come to your own opinions.

over and out, sorry again, and logged out (hopefully for real this time),

cat

#tw discourse

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katasstrophy · 1 year

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I feel like I've seen every Bluelock boy paired with a very cute, very bubbly, and chill gf/reader before, but I haven't seen any of them paired with a cool and competent or even bossier type. Are there any guys you think of liking that type??? Or maybe just deserve that type to be kept in line lmao 🤣

nonnie!! 😳 NONNIE UR BRAIN I’M GIVING IT A THOUSAND KISSES UR SOOO RIGHT FOR THIS!!! i guess it doesn’t really show with the fics i’ve uploaded so far – which is a damn shame, i should fix that – but i am absolutely all for readers who are just… out there, ya know? they’re prickly, or easy to anger, or sardonic as all hell, or way too clever for their own good or yes yes, bossy<3 i eat that shit UP like it’s my last meal. this is not to say i don’t enjoy sweet, bubbly readers (bc i do!) but the type you describe just… scratches a certain itch iykwim 👁️👁️

i think one of my first posts ever about blue lock on this blog (cw. mid writing LMAO) was exactly about this. obviously most of the blue lock guys are only extreme egoists when they’re playing soccer, but i do think that aspect of their lives will ultimately start to bleed into their personality as they grow up/go pro. so having someone who’s just like “yeah that’s great and all but if you won’t make it to date night i’ll leave your sorry ass” is just. so sexy to them like?? they haven’t gotten their ego knocked down a peg in a while so i think they’d be drawn to a partner like that askdhxnbz idk if i’m explaining this very well but as far as i’m concerned all blue lock boys deserve an unhinged reader lol 😤

THAT BEING SAID!!! >:))) i have a top three list of blue lock men who i, personally, would love to put in their place and encourage anyone out there to do so as well LOL

1. MICHAEL KAISER — this cocky motherfucker ugh need i say more 🙄 the urge to censor his name was real strong but i persevered still cannot believe i’m (sadly) attracted to this horrible, horrible man. he’s sooo insufferable and just so obsessed with himself like he unironically refers to himself as the emperor when i tell you there’s nothing i want more than to make this man beg on his knees i mean it – what a pretty sight that would be hm? <3 all his past lovers probably treated him like he was god’s greatest gift to women (HE IS NOT) – and by now he’s not only used to it but comes to expect it – so when he meets you and you’re like “mm you’re kind of a prick leave me alone thenk yew✨✨” he’s just. so scandalized LMFAO suddenly he’s the one chasing after you and vying for a shred of your attention oooohh yes that’s exactly what he deserves how it should be

2. ITOSHI SAE — listen he might be my precious babygirl now but i used to hate this mans guts like no other and that little resentment still lives on in my heart in the form of wanting this man’s downfall to be a woman like don’t tell me that’s not the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. he’s just so single-mindedly focused on soccer – japan’s treasure and what not – and thinks he can get away with being an asshole because of it but you place down your foot and tell him to cut the bullshit or you’ll find someone who treats you better (AMEN SISTER) and suddenly he’s grappling with the reality that shit he might just fall apart without you yes girl make him suffer

3. OLIVER AIKU — i couldn’t not include the resident fuckboy here mmmm the possibilities for him are endless and each one more delicious than the last. he might not be as insufferable as the others but he still thinks extremely highly of himself, especially when it comes to his way with the ladies. typical “oh no i don’t do relationships” kinda guy who can show you a good time for a night before dipping in the morning – and you just don’t want that. so you reject his advances, say you’re not interested and move on, but for some reason, oliver can’t. literally physically wounds his pride when he crawls back for a second chance but you don’t budge, still wary of him due to his past behavior unless he can show you otherwise. and the way he scrambles to prove himself as trustworthy to you? god tier groveling from a man YUMM

#—ping! new message from (anon)#AKSHHDJD THIS GOT SO LONG AND RAMBLY AGAIN SORRY!!#but you have a fat juicy brain on you nonnie #idk if this is exactly what you wanted but these are the thoughts that jumped out so hope that’s okay!! <3 #blue lock x reader #—bllk.thoughts!

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2knightt · 13 days

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hey! thought your writing was pretty awesome. saw your requests were open and decided to take a crack at one

the gang with a trans masc reader? doesn't have to be romantic at all, but that'd be awesome too! really just like he's tight knit with all of em and stuff, but since it's the 60s not everyone likes the reader for being trans you know? so they only have the boys and such

have a nice day and thanks for hearing me out!

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ that’s a kindness you can’t afford. ⋄ 𓍯

tags/warnings: transphobia(no explicit words/threats being said, but the gang just being defensive?), can be seen as both romantic & platonic, kinda short

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ hey boo omg i love your work you’re mad talented

—

Johnny Cade

y’know how after he got jumped by soc’s and he became a little bit shut-in? it’s GONE the SECOND anyone tries you.

“aren’t yo-“

“isn’t your girlfriend cheating in you? go worry abt that and stay outta y/n’s business, you dirty soc😒 tf.”

i feel like he kinda admires you for like being true to yourself and kinda having that ‘idgaf what people say, as long as i’m comfortable i’m alright,’ mindset.

i mean, you’d have to have it in the ‘60’s.

you did, however, have to explain what changes were being made. (if you met him pre-transition.) if you didn’t, he just wouldn’t ask questions.

to your face, of course. he goes to pony for that since he doesn’t wanna make you feel bad.

is very…aware of how you feel. probably more than you are.

like is always wondering/thinking ‘y/n wouldn’t like it here. there’s too much soc’s. i should tell them to stay away.’ or like ‘y/n’s been sleeping more, i wonder if their parents got to them.’

is constantly worrying over you above himself. why? he doesn’t know !!!

genuinely just wants to protect you from everyone

he might see you as an object to be babied but he’s getting to the right mindset it’s okay he’s almost there

Dallas Winston

scary dog privileges !

if someone who thought dallas wouldn’t speak up if they said smth about u, THEY’RE SO WRONG

he’s shoving them, punching, kicking, bodyslaming, etc.

he does NOT play about you. NEVER !!!!

“you’re a-“

“you wanna say that shit louder? huh? you wanna say that shit louder, asshole?😐😒”

he’d totally berate them while like shoving their shoulder LMFAO

was kinda(very) clueless about you being trans. like, he didn’t understand, but he kinda did? it was confusing for him at first, but he got the hang of it at the end !!!!

he just needed a little bit !!!

i feel like he’d give you his old, beat up jackets if you didn’t have much masc clothing.

“here.”

“???you’re giving me your old leather jacket?😞☹️???”

“don’t mention it. or destroy it. destroy it and i kick your head in.”

since ur transition, he probably got a little more…aggressive? but not in a bad way!!! like, you know how dudes like slightly shove their friends or like teasing them and it genuinely sounds mean??

that’s what he does now, not often.

tough love, i guess!!!

ponyboy curtis

asks questions. not in a bad way—never. he loves you too much to be mean to you!

he’s just very curious.

“how’d you find out? how long have you known?”

gets very defensive of you too, but more in a gossipy way. like he’ll just glare at the person and then when you two are alone he’ll lay into them and spill their secrets!

“i don’t know why they were talking. they literally just got caught with mary jane awhile back. they should be worryin’ ‘bout that charge and not what you wanna be.”

gives you hair grease and if you let him do your hair—you’ll NEVERR regret it!! you always leave lookin’ sososo handsome<3

draws you?? you know how he draws dallas?? yeah. yeah…

sodapop curtis

if you EVER and i mean EVER need advice for clothes, hairstyles, shoes, etc—GO TO SODA. he’s the gang’s prettyboy for a REASON.

he’ll make you feel like the most handsome boy on the planet.

however, do not trust that boy with scissors. he WILLL fuck up ur hair LMFAO

defends u like it’s his job. forget the fucking DX—WHAT DO YOU MEAN A SOC CALLED YOU STUPID AND DIRTY!?

“hey, you! the grease with the-“

“CAN YOU BACK THE FUCK UP? WITH YOUR DIRTY ASS POLO SHIRT, MAN HOP OFF HIS DICK YOU DAMN-“

soda’s affectionate asf. no matter WHO it is.

tell him you’re feeling a little insecure and his kissing your temple while telling you you’re the most handsome boy he’d ever seen.

darry curtis

if you’re tryna get all buff, darry is so happy to take you exercising with him lol

it’d be such a cute bonding moment😭🫶

“push to 75lbs, y/n.”

“HOW THE FUCK”

“easy, now. go slow toward it.”

he doesn’t need to shout or yell at anyone. darry just stands behind you with his arms crossed.

mmm personal bodyguard darry is real.

DARRY TOTALLY PUTS YOU INTO A HEADLOCK AND LIKE RUFFLES YOUR HAIR EVERY NOW AND THEN!!

if you wanna be the textbook definition of a manly ass dude, copy darry. he’s fucking him

steve randle

he teaches you about cars because he thinks it’s manly.

if you don’t like cars—HE DGAF LMFAOOO just stand there and pretend you’re listening frl.

HE IS A RABID DOG WHEN SOMEONE INSULTS YOU.

“GET THE HELL AWAY YOU DIRTY SOC!1! HOW ‘BOUT YOU GO CRYING TO YOUR MOM?”

teaches you how to fight. like seriously is acting like this is boxing lessons. steve is making you hit the palm of his hand while going ‘not good.’

even when your punches hurt, he’s gonna be holding back a groan while still saying u gotta hit harder.

gets a little tough on you sometimes, but always fixes it with a little hair ruffle and a, ‘you look good today. real handsome.’

two-bit mathews

HE FORCESSS YOU TO PUT A CURL ON YOUR FOREHEAD LIKE HIM!!

“omg twinning🤭🤭🤭”

“you held me at knife point.”

“TWINNING.”

HE GIVES YOU YOUR OWN SWITCHBLADE FOR PROTECTION!! HE EVEN FORCED SOMEONE HE KNOWS TO ENGRAVE YOUR CHOSEN NAME INTO IT!!!

lol what a cutie😔

he totally gives you his mickey shirts<3 he’s so kind isn’t he…..😊😊

isn’t afraid to stab a bitch for you. he doesn’t care.

“shut your trap before i make you.”

and then he turns around to comfort you, mumbling that you’re so handsome as he plays with the curl on your forehead!!!

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston x reader #johnny cade x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #steve randle x reader #two-bit x reader #two-bit mathews x reader #two bit matthews x reader

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ev1llesb1an · 8 months

Text

Documentation of my comphet throughout the years 🧍‍♀️

Okay so I thought it’d be funny to talk abt my most intense male fixation eras as a lesbian (idk i’m just shitposting into the void again) judge me all u want (it is probably needed) but i need ppl to understand the real me 🙏

IT CROPPED HALF HIS FACE OUT but i just realised if you aren’t british ur gonna have no idea who he is anyone (he’s lachlan white from emmerdale) omg this was an ERA everyone around me thought i was going insane (i was) but like they just didn’t get it he slayed so hard at a level that will never be reached (literally) also tom atkinson on sex education was like a full circle moment for me omg but anyways i was like 11-12 here these were literally my formative years this changed me FOREVER don’t judge he slayed omg

THIS okay so u can’t even blame me for this one it’s just correct. yes he’s like walking masculinity stereotype BUT he also had depth and was interesting 😌 the fanfics were SO GOOD this is when i really got into fanfiction and accidentally read smut where someone get pregnant in the hunger games 🧍‍♀️i read this one fic that was like x reader AND THEY STRAIGHT UP BOTH DIED but anyways. i read fanfics abt literally everyone thg character (read abt women and convinced myself i was still straight lmfao) but he was the stand out for me. i recently revisited this era and the fics ppl write on ao3 r INSANE omg like what is wrong with u ppl ( i say this lovingly but also wtf )

OMGOMGOMG BEST ERA OF MY LIFE u actually don’t understand u just had to be there. a solid percentage of my brain even to this day is made up of this man. this is like the stupidest thing ever but when i was like 14 i would just mirror his personality (and tone down the arsehole part obvs) so that i could get more talkative AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED nobody in the whole world will ever understand how much he means to me (i don’t rly understand it myself tbh) and ik ppl literally fuckinf despise him but i will not tolerate the dandy mott slander bc he is literally part of my core identity atp i revisit him every few months just to fully reconnect with my inner being. did anyone read Companion? that shit was crazy also i wrote a fic abt him on wattpad and people actually READ IT so anyways best era of my life it truly never got better i rly hit me peak (i had 0 friends) the few friends i had literally told me i talked abt him too much and it made them like me less 💀

this was arguably my most chill era like yea i was pretty obsessive but with marvel it’s so normalised to be so intense abt everything i kinda just fit right in. there’s too much professor fanfiction r u ppl okay 🧍‍♀️ also more actor fanfiction than i have ever seen for any other man in my LIFE but the capitalism went hard during this era the fluff was so good. arguably my most comforting era? idk i can’t rly explain that one

okay so these two r kinda completely different but also (for obvious reasons) the exact same. gotham was my most openly gay era and for that i will forever be grateful HOWEVER the kristen kringle haters were doing WAY TOO MUCH like she’s already dead why u doing her like that constantly (u will see this sentiment echoed later abt someone else hmmm i wonder who) but yea and then YES i was a paul dano lesbian (literally wasn’t out as lesbian at this point lmao) honestly this is probably the era my friends hated the most they would either awkwardly pretend to agree/care abt the shit i was saying or straight up tell me i was delusional 💀 my friends even now still call it my worst era but i LOVED IT kinda solidified my position at the bottom of the hellish secondary school hierarchy but i still had a good time. the paul dani riddler fanfics r next level tho the way ppl would just post STALKER fics constantly with like zero warnings and it was never labelled as yandere 🧍‍♀️i also got in an argument with a writer on wattpad bc they made the riddler and the oc have like a 6 year age gap and they met when she was 10 and he was like 16 💀 other than that good vibes all round

tbh this era was pretty brief i can’t fully explain what happened here like the vibes were immaculate but also insane WHY IS THERE SM YANDERE FANFIC peter parker is so nice but then in fanfics it’s like 👹 but i rly like spider-man HOWEVER this then led me to my final destination on the comphet journey…

omg were finally at the final stop the peak of comphet ( i came out as lesbian within this era ) arguably not my finest hour bc i swore i would never watch criminal minds bc the number of seasons is WAY TOO MUCH but here we are i watched it bc i read too much fanfic abt this man. i have lots of criticism for the fandom but he in himself is acc a rly good character. this was supposed to be like my ethical era but he’s acc killed like a bunch of ppl and thomas gibson is MESSY (don’t cancel me pls i say that lovingly 🫶) the haley hotchner misogyny nearly killed me off i don’t think i’ve ever been so miserable in a fandom and the fanfics kinda take feminism back a few hundred years but pretty good besides that

anyways there is my brainrot i hope the two (at most) ppl who will read this enjoyed 🫶 LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO im gonna say i posted this in honour of international lesbian day even tho that was several days ago

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #dandy mott #american horror story #marvel #loki laufeyson #loki #spider man #the hunger games #emmerdale #the batman #dc #paul dano #the riddler

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bakersfield-row · 1 year

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Am a Windows user, have never used anything but windows, am comfortable with windows.

Convince me to linux. Explain

I’m going to keep this short because I could make this infinitely long.

In a world where you really cannot trust big companies, windows has gotten very self conscious that they could track and sell every piece of data from their customer and add unnecessary features and no one would notice it, even though it actually makes the user experience worse. If you don’t have a key, you probably also have to over a hundred dollars just for some basic amenities, like changing a wallpaper.

Linux, in the other hand, is free and open source software (FOSS), which, in its simplest form, means that all the code is there for you to change and revise. Because of this openness, most Linux distros usually never have features to sell your data, and if they do, someone’s bound to make a patch to have that not happen. This means that Linux is much more safe and secure than windows by a long shot, and you really don’t have to worry about your information being sold to dubious companies.

Linux, with all its FOSS-ness, also allows anyone to make theirs distro look anyway you want. For instance, I personally prefer the look of MacOS to Windows (I know, probs controversial opinion). On windows, it’s be a pain in the ass to get it that way, especially without a key, while in Linux you can easily do that with relative ease, as long as you have a guide. Linux is just more freedom, something probably over said but still very true.

There’s other reasons why people would want to switch to Linux to. I didn’t really note that it’s less “bloated” than windows, which means that it has a lot less unnecessary features and thus will run way faster on any computer, especially old ones. Bloat has been kinda a controversial word in the community, since people like to argue that some distros are worse because they have more features. However, no matter what you choose, it’ll probably be better than windows.

The biggest drawback to Linux, in my opinion, is obviously app compatibility. I’ve mentioned gaming before, but that’s something that’s seedy vastly improved over the years. However, some popular apps are just incomparable with Linux, most notably the entire adobe suite and (unsurprisingly) Microsoft office. There’s a couple other things you can do to circumnavigate this.

You can try to find alternatives. GIMP works as a nice alternative to photoshop, Davinci Resolve has native Linux versions, and libreoffice is probably capable enough to replace word or PowerPoint.

You can try to install wine and pray to god it’ll work (though it probably won’t).

You can run a virtual machine and run windows with that, thought that’s not GPU accelerated and thus might be laggy.

OR, and this is the best option in my opinion, you can dual boot windows along side linux, so if you really need to use it, it’s there as an option. If you’re going to do this option, make sure to install windows first before Linux (because of some stupid thing where it erases it in grub or smtn) and that the two operating systems are on separate drives. Also try to debloat windows though guides on YouTube, but know that it won’t be as private as Linux.

Honestly, that’s as much as I have to say about the subject matter. Others are free to add on, since I probably missed a few things. You might not like it at first, but I do encourage you to at least try it. Hell, you might even like it so much that using windows is now alien to you (like me, lmfao).

Hope this helped, and remember, never type “sudo rm -rf /” in the terminal. (Aw fuck, I forgot to explain the terminal. Oh well, I hope someone can explain it to you, and if you get stuck on it there’s always guides online)

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heizlut · 9 months

Note

What are your favorite and least favorite genshin men?

thanks for asking!! i’ll even try to give some actual reasoning for my choices lol

faves: (this is gonna be a long one lmao)

Heizou- (obviously) the way he flirts is so hot. he’s really such a big tease

Kaeya- that man is PACKING. like is it really necessary to wear pants that tight? (not that i’m complaining tho👀)

Albedo- the ultimate rizzler. the true husbando collector. not even lyney can reach the level of rizz he has

Aether- i go feral over him and his slutty little waist UGH love him. i even mained him up until i pulled wanderer in 3.8 (i think i was also AR48 at the time so aether has spent the most time on my team)

Dottore- look i know this man is a fucking monster but as the saying goes “if evil, why hot?”. i would let him experiment on me fr

Xiao- emo babie. i love him so much, he makes me feel so many things all at once

Scaramouche/Wanderer- look, i have a huge degradation kink so i think this is self explanatory LMFAO if he stepped on me, i would thank him. pretty sure he will be my main all the way to the end of the game tbh

Diluc & Alhaitham- there’s something about a serious, emotionally unavailable man that really gets me going

Kaveh- BABYGORL POOKIE PRINCESS!!! i kin him. i love him. i would do anything to make him happy 🥺

Venti & Itto- they bring out the dom side of me fr i want to ruin them in the best way possible (but if they decide to dom, holy shit, on my knees immediately)

Gorou & Tighnari- they awakened something within me. i read one rut/knot fic and i went feral ever since

Cyno- he falls into the emotionally unavailable and stoic man category. he’s so pretty though and i would definitely unironically laugh at all his jokes, im pretty easy to entertain

Wriothesley- his idle animation where he twirls his handcuffs? oops suddenly i’m a criminal in need of restraining

EDIT: Kazuha: how could i forget my other sweet boi. i cherish him so much

least fav:

Baizhu: idk something about him is off to me. also he coughs a lot and it’s gross lmao also his snake pisses me off hahah i just don’t like her attitude

Neuvillette: i hate to be that person i’m so sorry. yes he’s very pretty and is an amazing character, i just find him to be… kinda boring? idk what i expected. normally he would probably fall into the stoic, emotionally unavailable category but he’s like too stoic and serious in such a way that makes him boring to me

Lyney: i have a love hate relationship with this man. i love how forward he is when he’s flirting and he’s quite nice to look at but again there’s just something about him that i just don’t like. idk i feel like he’s very self absorbed in way.

Dainsleif: another love hate relationship. he’s so mysterious and pretty but the way he barely gives any crumbs when he gets screentime annoys me lol

Pierro: he’s hot i guess but like idk how to explain what i’m trying to say without sounding fucking insane lmfao i guess he just reminds me of an evil santa claus HAHAHA

Childe: realistically he and i would probably get along the best out of any of the guys listed (beside kaveh). we’re very similar in personality but he’s only part of the least fav category because he’s kinda cringey lmao i mean that in an endearing way but also in the way that i want to strangle him (although he would probably be into that lol) also his stupid little jacket makes me mad, why does it look like that. I appreciate the tummy window but i think he would’ve looked way better in some kind of button down with a chest window 🤷🏻‍♀️

#heizlut answers #genshin impact

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sherifftillman · 9 months

Text

@cheerscoopscentral's cheerscoops week 2023 | day 4: getting set up/blind date

Title: Blinded By Feelings Pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham, mentions of former unrequited Heather Holloway x Steve Harrington Tags: Stranger Things (series), angst, fluff, soft smut (18+, heavy petting) Word Count: 8k Summary: Robin and Eddie love their best friends more than anything. Robin and Eddie hate hearing about their best friends' failed romances more than anything. They decide to intervene, not realising there's more to setting up a blind date than meets the eye. A/N: Hey, remember ages ago when I was like "send me a word and if it isn't in a WIP of mine, I'll make it so"? Congrats to the person who suggested "cat", you changed the ENTIRE trajectory of this fic lmfao.

read on ao3 here! preview under the cut:

Chrissy hangs up the phone and looks at Benny hopefully, though her warmness is not reciprocated. “I hope you’re not about to exploit my kindness and ramp up my phone bill even more?” Chrissy shakes her head silently. “Want me to bring you two a combo each to that table of yours?” She opens her mouth to protest, but Benny gives her a look to suggest his patience is wearing thin. She nods in defeat and makes her way back to where Steve is still sitting.

“Well, I’m not getting a ride any time soon, so I guess we’re doing this,” she shakes her head as she slides herself into the other side of the booth.

“Awesome,” Steve deadpans. “Gives you plenty of time to explain what the fuck Eddie would have needed to know.”

Chrissy’s brow furrows, “What do you -”

“You said you never told Eddie. Never told him what?”

“I don’t need to tell you,” she replies, feeling a pang of pain in her chest. “Same way you probably don’t feel the need to tell me why you brought up -”

“It’s just,” Steve scoffs, “I’m surprised you’re at least sticking around to eat, this time.” She looks at him in confusion and he continues venomously, “Don’t you usually just run everywhere?”

It takes her a moment to piece everything together, and when she does, she looks at him in disbelief. “You’re not telling me that that’s your reason for being so bitter?! You?!”

Steve’s eyes narrow. “Well, yeah. Having someone promise you they’ll stick around just to run away at the first opportunity they can get is a pretty shitty deal, in my books.”

#cheerscoopsweek23 #cheerscoops #harringham #stissy #steve x chrissy #chrissy x steve #steve harrington x chrissy cunningham #chrissy cunningham x steve harrington #*myfics #fic: cheerscoops

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piosplayhouse · 2 years

Note

god i just saw that “ymj has no children” post you mentioned a while back and it’s??? bad. it’s so bad 💀💀

nhs is the only nie that shows up and it’s bc “well we just don’t see a lot of the nie” even though they explicitly and intentionally visited qinghe (and nhs intentionally ran his sect’s reputation into the ground!!), but jc is the only jiang that shows up and “it’s bc there’s no kids in ymj bc jc is a classist serial killer uwu maybe if he didn’t torture people in public people wouldn’t fucking hate him (also ymj indiscriminately attacks ppl and they’re probably all egotistical thugs)” LIKE HELLO???? WHAT KIND OF JUMP IS THAT???

like. one of my biggest pet peeves is how ppl misuse “begging the question” to mean “raises the question.” but if i had to explain to someone what “begging the question” is, this is too perfect of an example, bc the ENTIRE THING is based on assumptions we don’t know to be true. ARE THERE no children at ymj? IS jc classist? IS he a serial killer? CAN we trust the credibility of rumors? is ANYTHING you just said actually true??

anyway i just remembered not being able to find the post at the time but WOW it’s just as bad as it sounded

(i was in the middle of writing a response to a different one of OP’s posts but now i’m wondering if i should even bother lol)

Yeah it's just like ?? Idk op's top posts seemed fairly reasonable so I guess this is just another "Jiang Cheng eats people's brains" scenario. I think the biggest issue I have with this kind of discourse in general is the notion that "Jiang Cheng is ruining the Jiang sect by being Jiang Cheng" which I feel is weird on a lot of levels that just indicate that you straight up didn't understand half of what was going on in mdzs.

1. The Jiang sect was already ruined. You read about it. It was burned down and everyone except the sect heirs and wwx were killed, what's not clicking. The main reason that Jiang sect doesn't have many junior disciples is most likely because idk , many of the vulnerable young denizens of ymj were killed and as hard as Jiang Cheng tries, he can't force everyone in lotus pier to repopulate like shinzo abe convincing people to get married with anime. This also connects to:

2. The way sects work in mdzs is explicitly hereditary. This is a HUGE point in the world-building-- sure jc could theoretically adopt a bunch of kids or something, but what's the precedent for that? Baoshan Sanren's mountain? Blood ties are everything in mdzs. And this leads into:

3. The implication that Jiang Cheng is ruining his own sect by not getting married and having kids. I don't think I need to elaborate much on this being ummm weird as hell in many ways and also wrong because guess who else doesn't have a wife or kids... Lan Xichen?

Unorganized notes:

- Idk where people are assuming that Yunmeng Jiang/Jiang Cheng are like. explicitly ultra classist? Please keep in mind that the entire WORLD of mdzs is classist, this is a huge point of critique in the book that you literally could not miss unless you didn't read it. Furthermore, honestly, the Jiang are PROGRESSIVE in this regard. First of all, Jiang Cheng explicitly respected Wei Wuxian on a deeply personal level that defied class standards. He wanted to make Wei Wuxian his right hand man!! By mdzs standards, this is huge!! If he was really so classist because of Yu Ziyuan, as the sect heir he wouldn't have sacrificed his own safety and golden core to lead the wen away from wwx, a mere servant! The Jiang sect structure was also explicitly casual in comparison to like, idk the Jin, the guys who are the literal epitome of classism-- descriptions of lotus pier note that the civilian children living nearby would play with lotus pier disciples, do you think the other sects would let their kids do that?

- LMFAO on your mention that nhs is out there purposefully running his sect into the ground someone make an edit of that meme where the soldiers protecting the sleeping kid with jc getting hit with "ruining his sect" "destroying his sects reputation" and nhs sleeping

Ok ummm I think that's everything I wanted to say if anyone has any corrections or things to add feel free to start a discussion in the notes !!! I haven't read mdzs in... 3 years now, so I wouldn't be surprised if I got evidence wrong ^^ also ofc be polite to everyone involved and don't go and harass the person we're talking about or you're peerless cucumber (/neg)

#long post #long posts #mdzs spoilers #cql spoilers #gdc spoilers #mdzs discourse #cql discourse #gdc discourse #jc discourse #jiang cheng discourse

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burtonbabygirlguster · 2 years

Text

how comfortable i would feel with different stranger things characters

Argyle

8/10

he would be 10/10 but i’d be scared he’d mention what i’ve told him when he was high

i’ve got no idea if being high works like that tho???

but i’d be panicking very hard

like he’s probably use my preferred name instead of my deadname and i’d be like 🧍

would offer me weed to help with my skin picking problems or my mouth pain

fuck you braces and nails

Robin

10/10

we can ramble to each other :)

my best moments with my friends is of us rambling to each-other and getting off topic every other sentence

she’s very funny we could laugh about anything it’d be great

and i’m also queer so like..yeah, gay people flock together type shit

Eddie

6.5/10

the cafeteria scene scared me, i’d constantly think he’s about to..like..jump on my sandwich

also he’s too extroverted for me im sorry

i can’t handle that type of attention anywhere near me

he’d probably look at what i was drawing or something and show everyone 🧍

and i’ve got too much anxiety for that soooo…

Steve

7.5/10

i can’t really explain in

like, yes, i’d be comfortable, but constantly tense, expecting something, at the same time

like i said, can’t really explain it, sorry lmfao

Jonathan

13/10

would make me feel good about myself

between my fashion, music, general interests, being trans and gay, i’d be the Hawkins high punching bag

i already was at my middle school some? like nothing physical but constant shit, it was this group of kids constantly coming over to the tree i hung by and shouting slurs and jesus blah blah

plus the usual barking and being called emo in the halls

anyway

he could tell when i’m about to have a breakdown, whatever i’m feeling honestly

the only person i think i’d EVER be comfortable sharing how i actually feel with

he would never judge me

i think he’d like my stupidity and chaos, i usually get really insecure about it but he’d be nice :))

the only way i can interact with a movie/show is to vocally talk about it and my family (reasonably) gets mad but i think he’d enjoy hearing what i think and how i perceive whatever we’d be watching

even outside of movies, they don’t really like hearing me ramble or talk

and if one person did like it, another one would interrupt and they’d forget about me

even my general family issues, he’d be there to listen, and relate on a lot

i also love photography so we could have fun with that!!!

overall he’d be the biggest comfort ever

Nancy

2/10

i’m sorry but i wouldn’t be all that comfortable

i think the biggest thing was how she treated robin

and since i act like robin with the rambling and such, i really think she would not like me

opposite of Jonathan

she’d only get annoyed and i feel like she’d just act like my family when it comes to how i express myself, and would make me feel like shit

maybe she’d actually be really cool once i got to know her

but everything that the shows given me is her pushing away barb, the love triangle, being rude to robin, and supernatural stress, so not quite sure :p

Jason

-3/10

i don’t even need to explain

i would be called slurs and beat up

he was ready to break Gareths fingers

which i guess me just being casual vs him hunting a guy are definitely different situations

but i feel like he’d break something

i’d definitely be a suspect of joint murder forces with eddie lmfao

Billy

-3/10

same thing with jason

but pretty sure he’d also body-shame me

unless if we were around people

but still -3/10

Will

12/10

Same thing as Jonathan

but i’m closer to wills age so i think it’d be better :)

plus he at least used to play with legos and i fucking love legos

also we could draw DnD characters together!!

he’s gonna love my literal dragonborn himbo that wears sunglasses

i’d love to be in a byers-hopper family campaign with him :))

gays flock together again

Lucas

11/10

he’s super duper fucking nice and would always be considerate of everything

would not judge me

except in a funny way

he could help me out if i ever had relationship issues

he can climb trees i think? i feel like he climbed one in season one or two

if he can, i’d love to go tree climbing with him

i used to play basketball so we could play together!!

he’s awesome

Dustin

8/10

i can’t really explain why he’s only 8

i would, however, love to go and open curiosity doors and do random shit

i’m gonna train demodogs with him

would love to tease steve with him

8/10

nothing really special, just chill :)

again, would love to do a whole family campaign

i’d like making fun presentations with her like she did for the school project

would enjoy doing stuff like how she and max did, i love clothes shopping, because i can express myself- and that was the whole point for her clothes shopping!

i’d absolutely love to do that with her :))

Max

7.3/10

would maybe make fun of me a little bit?

sometimes in a funny friend way but sometimes in an actual way

i don’t think i’d be able to tell which is which so i’d be sad each time🧍

would love being chaotic with her and torturing mike (i’m sorry mike)

pulling pranks on everyone definitely

Mike

depends which season

1-2 is 10/10

3-4 is slowly declining…

i’m very childish (although i am a child so doesn’t really count) and i love doing thing how will does, and i’d too, be asking to play

would feel the worst feeling if he ever yelled at me like he did to will :(

although that’s on byler drama, so he wouldn’t yell at me like that

would make me feel both appreciated and highly judged

it switches every day honestly

but season 1-2 would be great <3

after he gets his byler drama sorted out he’d be back to 10/10

Erica

depends if she’s insulting me or not

but if she’s insulting me then i probably did something first so it’d be my fault

but overall she’d be super cool to hang with!

and she’s super smart- if i pay her, maybe she’ll do my math homework 😭

i haven’t nt watched my little pony in years (and obviously not the 80s one she watched) but i think i’d watch it so we could talk bout it

and talk with dustin too about it

cause he watches my little pony too

Joyce

6/10

As great a mom as she is, she barley ever payed attention to Jonathan

like, never

i would trust her to save me, yeah, absolutely, she’d do anything

but like i said with Jonathan..

overall though i suppose really good, she’d be fun to hang out with

Jim

4.5/10

dudes SCARY

yells too much

i’m generally spooked by older people, especially older men sooo yeah 🧍

that wouldn’t help

would constantly feel like a disappointment even if that’s not what he wanted

every so often a really good moment

maybe a heart to heart that’d boost him up a few numbers

Murray

4/10

as funny as he is, if he started talking about my relationship, i’d punch him

not actually i’m a coward but i’d mentally punch him

if he never talked about relationships then he could be a good 8/10 or something

nothing too special even then, just casual

Bob

9/10

gets -1 point because old men scare me lmfao

other than that i’d love to play his brain games and learn about the radios and such

great guy :((

would love to have him as an uncle :))

would like to listen to me ramble!

he jon and i can have camera sessions

Owens

7/10

again, -1 point for old man

but specifically during season four i kinda wished i had a dad a lil bit like him

i think the food got to me

and him trying to go against brenner

“kiddo” hit me hard

would not enjoy in the other seasons tho, no trust, thus no comfort at all

Mr Clark

9/10

once more, -1 for old man

but he’s super nice to the kids 😭

and always helps them solve the Upsidedown mystery of the year

where was he this season????

only teacher i could actually go up to and ask for help

would LOVE to have him as a dad

he’d also definitely enjoy to hear my ramblings, especially if they’ve got anything to do with science

i ramble about time travel and mythological creatures a lot (especially dragons and how they would have been) and i’d think he’d enjoy ny special interests of curiosity doors

Alexi

9/10

would love to go to the fair with him and get all the stuffed animals

and watch cartoons and eat slushes i think it’d be great fun

wanna have murray deal with both of us

harhar the old man will never know what hit him

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vineofroses · 1 year

Text

re: that Rafa interview today … how in the world is TK’s story with his sponsor the same as this Carlos and Iris situation? Literally last episode Carlos said Iris wasn’t showing any signs of her mental illness so how was he in the middle of it? He hasn’t, by confirmation from himself, checked in on her in awhile. So how is TK going to talk to Iris a mistake.?

I love that we’re getting more Carlos screen time but this is where the ret con of it all starts falling apart. They’re filling in gaps they couldn’t bother filling in before and trying to pass it off as good writing but it’s not. We saw the interaction with TK and Iris — it went fine. At no point on screen did we see Carlos tell TK not to go talk to her. He just prepared him for dinner that night. and I’m sorry, but Carlos saying stuff like “things big or small could set her off” isn’t respecting Iris, in my opinion. She is fine! We saw her being fine!! She’s capable of making decisions herself and handling a conversation with TK about divorce.

Perhaps the point is that Carlos is overcompensating because he wasn’t there and if that’s the case, I hope there’s a realization and growth on his part. But if the show tries to play this off as TK’s mistake again (the break up reason still makes me mad), then I can’t be down with this. Maybe I need to stop reading the interviews before the episode hahaha. It will probably all make sense in the episode after we see it play out but seriously, the interviews are over explaining in order to make the ret con make sense. I don’t blame the actors — Rafa is gonna sell this so hard but lmfao, there’s just so many gaps left behind they should’ve filled in earlier by giving Rafa/Carlos more screen time at the very beginning!! Now we’re stuck here lol

#911 lone star

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servin-up-surveys · 2 years

Text

survey #040

(a two-day old survey I don’t feel like retaking, oops)

What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She works a few days a week cleaning at a church for a small pay, but not enough to take her off of disability due to her cancer. She's not even considered officially in remission yet, and her body sure still fuckin feels the effects of what she dealt with. She was one sub-stage (is that what it's called?) from a fatal diagnosis, so it's a brutal fuckin' recovery. Really her body will probably never be "normal" again. It's kinda been hitting me in the face lately how realistic it would be if Mom doesn't have many more years left. It's GOING to come back, that's science. She's going to run out of fuel. And that's a trail I'm not going down. If applicable, did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? Maaaaan if my mama saw me with a cigarette at that age I woulda had my ass handed to me lmfao. Mom didn't care if I drank responsibly before then with adults present, like at a family gathering or w/e. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I'm just answering for my two immediate sisters because I'm lazy. My older sis is a mammographer, but has duties outside of just mammography with her radiology degree. My younger sister is a children's social worker, LITERALLY the person that risks her fucking ass daily going into dangerous situations to rescue kids in horrible fucking circumstances. Actual hero. Both my sisters are, really. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I actually don't know if I was ever jealous of them. I feel envy for both of them sometimes, but that's different. Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I'm still with Mom and our pets. A-although a few days ago Girt directly referenced us living together way down the road and,,,,, I nearly cried lmao it doesn't matter to me that it ain't soon, it just means worlds to me to know he even sees it as the likely outcome. Do you think life should just hand things to you? Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? A mix of both. Like I'm not sorry, you should not have to work for the bare essentials of staying alive, like food and water. If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? boo my Tumblr is a Rammstein thirst trap on god why am I into 50+ y/o dads now, am I truly... Old Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? Hell fuckin' no. They say they are, but I don't think they could do anything to make me actually believe it. Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? Yes; my sister's... grandmother-in-law(?) is definitely hard-of-hearing. That woman is ancient. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I have been told relentlessly to be a vet since I was a tiny kid, and I still hear it, but I just couldn't, man. Seeing sick or injured animals and even see them die, possibly even by ME giving the injection, I fucking couldn't. I absolutely couldn't, I would be HORRIBLY depressed. If you wear them, what is the average length of skirts you wear? I don't wear skirts. Who are you in love with? The most patient motherfucker i've ever met to have been friendzoned by me for over a fuckin decade and not give up on me lmfao. Have you ever eaten a crayon? Now I may have gotten a bead stuck up my nose as a kid, but at least I didn't eat crayons lmfao??? Are you someone’s best friend? Girt calls me his best friend. :') Do you enjoy long car rides? IF I have music with me, particularly if I'm controlling what comes out of the car speakers from the passenger's seat, dude, I could ride FOREVER. It makes for such a freeing, calm feeling, something I can't quite explain when you consider how TERRIFIED I am of the road, a fear I still even feel in this situation. And yet it's one of my favorite things to do. Like if my ma's gotta go somewhere, especially far, I'm fuckin' going, lol. What’s a random fact about your best friend? Uhhhh I'm tryna think of something I haven't shared???? Oh well I guess that he's the biggest fuckin simp for 2B (and don't get him STARTED over 2P) from the Nier universe that you will ever meet, lmao. Do you upload videos to YouTube? Nah, I don't know if video editing is a hobby I'll revisit. Idk. I get ideas a lot, but just not enough drive. Plus I need a good PC anyway to make editing barable. What’s your least favorite time of day? Evening, I guess. Generally by that point I'm done with the day. Do you know anyone who’s sort of snobby about the kind of music they like? Ha, probably. Call it stereotyping, but I will swear up and down that AT LEAST half of the metal fanbase suit the term. I've been into metal since I started middle school, I have seen more than enough people whine about stupid shit and think an awful lot about themselves just because of their musical tastes. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes; I cannot fucking stand the ones that can't be detached because it's so much harder to get soap off of everywhere. How many burners does your stove have? Four. What’s something you think everyone should do/experience at least once in their life? Being in love. I know some people don't pursue it, and that is entirely fine and valid if they never want a relationship, but holy shit I have never felt something like it in my life. Has your car ever been broken into? No. List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner) 1.) I was taken off the medication that was making me manic but in turn my mood has fucking plummeted back to depression; 2.) my boyfriend and I started to play Stray and it's absolutely fantastic; 3.) I started using the shower in my mom's room versus the main bathroom's because it's a walk-in with a therefore much lower risk of me falling, but it is WAY too claustrophobic (even to Mom, who is smaller than me); 4.) I picked out this ADORABLE customizable product called Vitamin Me to order soon for Girt's and my anniversary; and 5.) I met with my new primary care physician for the first time. Have you ever had sex on your bedroom floor? How about your living room floor? Oh Jesus, you could NOT get my fat ass on the fuckin floor for that, lmao. I don't even SIT on the floor, dude; my knees will make me wish I was dead when I try to get back up, AND they're gonna be bruised. I've done "stuff" on the floor in the past, but that was a long time ago when I had a well-functioning body, lmao. Have you ever received a compliment about any of the clothes you’re wearing? No. When you kiss someone, do you like to play with their hair? Yeeee. Time for some questions about you and your significant other/crush. What is something you like, that he/she doesn’t like? He thinks my infatuation with tarantulas is pretty fuckin' wild, haha, but yet he supports it anyway and guys one day even ended up down a rabbit hole of learning about them and I cri, that's a supportive partner right thar. BUT the fact still remains that he does NOT understand how I find them to be so cute, haha. What is something he/she likes, that you don’t like? Guys................... his dad liked some STRANGE food, okay. But because of this, he grew up with some wild fuckin shit and is therefore more accustomed to this stuff than me. The first day I went to his house, they were having what had been his dad's favorite: chicken gizzards + hearts with noodles. It's not Girt's favorite thing, but he can eat it. Y'aaaaaaaaall I forced down what of the macaroni noodles I could (keep in mind they had the taste of the meat on them and were gross to me) but absolutely COULD NOT try the meat and I was so fucking nervous of offending his mom I had an anxiety attack and ended up crying a bit lmao it was AN EVENT, but thankfully she literally didn't give a damn, although I did sorta lie as to why I was crying SO UHHHHHHHHHHH I'm sorry Donald Sr. please don't haunt me Something you both like? Oh god a lot, but I think the biggest, strongest shared interest is either video games or metal music. Something you both dislike? Country music comes to mind. Do you regret sleeping with anyone? N/A Did anyone comfort you the last time you cried? What was your reason for crying? No; it was brief and I know Mom didn't hear me. I'm just very upset to be regressing in terms of happiness now that I'm off Welbutrin (sp?). I know for my safety I couldn't stay on it, but... Is there anyone that likes you, other than the person you love/like/are with? Almost certainly not. Have you ever lied to the person you love/like? I don't think I have, no. Are you happy where you are right now, relationship-wise? Yep. Has the last person you kissed met your family? Yes; HE'S virtually family, with as long as he's actively been in my life. Do you find smoking unattractive? Well, yes, but Richard Kruspe has proven to be the one and only exception lmfao I would be LYING if I said I haven't seen pictures and been like "yeah that's an A++ man mhmmm" Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on? Yes. The last three different times you kissed someone, were those kisses with the same person? Yep. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Honestly like... one. Say your last ex walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say? Well I can QUITE fucking confidently say she wouldn't hug me, but if in some universe this actually happened, I'd tell her to not touch me. Probably. It's just that this is so hard to even imagine occurring. When did you last have goosebumps? Like... now, haha. I'm listening to Rammstein's "Meine Tränen" and it is one of the absolute fail-proof songs of giving me goosebumps and even sometimes making me cry. The chorus gets me eeeeevery time. What's your current mood? Pretty sad and stressed. i don't like that I'm regularly depressed again as well as oversleeping. I also had a fucking AWFUL nightmare last night that I woke up screaming from, so that was a great start to my day. Have you ever or would you have a pet frog? I've very lightly considered poison dart frogs (they are completely non-toxic in captivity due to the absence of its natural food source), but I very much doubt I'll ever actually get them. Frogs are adorable and all, but not my personal dream pet or anything. What's the last chaotic thing you've done or seen someone do? OH MY GOD so I was watching my niece and nephew w/ my mom recently, right??? They were trying to get an Xbox game to work and these little chaos goblins WASHED THE DISC IN THE SINK claiming it fixes some problem the console has and I was like????????????? have things CHANGED?????????????? Like I remember having a light cleaner spray bottle for scratches, but this seemed Wrong?????? If you're curious, the disc did NOT work, lmfao. What was the last thing you complained about? My motherfucking nightmares. I love dreaming I'm being dragged by a murderer and my mother is there not trying to help. Who is the greatest singer who is no longer living? Freddie Mercury. Are you more like your mother or your father? I think I have my mom's heart but my dad's EXTREME lack of common sense and addictive personality. What is the funniest thing you have heard a child say? Oh god, this would almost certainly be some shit my nephew Ryder has said, or maybe even his sister because she has said some GEMS, but I can't recall a specific instance rn. When did you last use a hammer? Oh, I have NO idea. I don't really use hammers because of my tremors; you don't really want your aim to be off when handling one. Even when putting stuff on my walls, my mom is always the one hammering. Who is someone you love unconditionally? Nobody. You really have to consider what "unconditionally" means. I'm not going to love ANYone who does certain, despicable things. Do you experience intrusive thoughts? Oh yes, especially with my fucking nightmares where I'm usually extremely fucking violent, even murderous. Having quick, dark thoughts when I'm extremely angry aren't rare anymore. Of course they disgust me, like I don't think they're "normal" thoughts, but they're still alarming. If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? Playing Stray together sounds really fun to get my mind off shit. We're having fun with the game. Do you own a gun? I'm pretty sure anyone in this household owning a gun would be illegal due to me being a resident with my mental health history, so no. I NEVER want to live in a house with one, anyway. Do you meditate? No, and trying to actually stresses me out because my brain simply won't shut up. What's your go-to song when you're angry? I find "Headache" by Motionless In White to be most cathartic. Would you ever consider online dating? I have pretty big doubts I'd ever start a relationship online again. Where is the person you last hugged? I can't remember which kid I hugged last, but regardless, they're at a local lake for the weekend. Where is the last person you kissed? He's at work rn. Do you have any cuts or bruises on your body right now? I have so many random, negligible cuts, and my mom actually noticed a couple days back that I have a purple bruise probably from when I fell in the bathroom. I FELT a bruise for like... what, two days, but this seems like a pretty long time to still have something remaining. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Well, he's apparently let his facial hair grow out since we dated and I've only seen one candid picture of "this" Jason, and I guess he looks fine. It's just not something I'm used to. I also did NOT look at that picture long because I knew doing so wouldn't be good for me so honestly I barely remember it. What is unattractive about them? He became a very cold person that quite clearly didn't consider the consequences of certain actions. Would you rather live in a house right now or an apartment? House. Anal sex, yay or nay? I've never tried it and have absolutely zero interest in doing so, the whole idea just... ain't for me. Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? No, because I'm not interested in them in that way. Your best friend says to you now, “let's go to a party and get trashed!”? So Girt 1.) isn't the partying type and 2.) doesn't drink and isn't interested in doing so, so I would be extremely concerned if he said that to me and absolutely wouldn't be okay with doing that when I know that's not his right mind.

#survey #surveys #random surveys #random questions

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babyboibucky · 3 years

Text

The Match - Part 10

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam helps you out in planning for the launch while Bucky is away.

Word Count: 4.2k (woopsies)

Warnings: SMUT is back, angry unprotected sex, spitting, a tiny hint at scratching and choking, some hurtful words thrown in yada yada yada, kinda intense asjkcackansk

A/N: STRAP THE FUCK IN BECAUSE WE BOUTTA RIDE A DAMN ROLLERCOASTER OMG I’m nervous for this because I found this part very intense while writing it. And I hope it comes across as that to y’all as well because my fingers ached from how hard I was typing this part lmfao. Team Bucky vs Team Reader/Team Sam here we goooo sksksk enjoy

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

You didn't accept Sam's invitation to connect in LinkedIn. Not yet. But it did give you several ideas, like maybe submitting a resignation letter? Get away from Bucky and his toxic ass? He has Mackenzie now, he can easily have her take over your position anyway.

However, you were also torn because you loved your job at Bucky's company. It paved way for you to improve your skills and you experienced a lot of growth too. And well, Bucky's there too but god, you hated him right now. As much as you wanted to wave the white flag, you didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

You wanted Bucky to learn that not everything he wants, he can easily get. And Mark was right, that you weren't just a trophy employee or whatever. You were so much more than what Bucky probably thinks of you.

And you were going to prove him that.

"Hey, Bev. Can you ring up your boss for me? Tell him I want to go over some of the plans I made for the launch before I discuss it with Mackenzie tomorrow." you asked.

Beverly was about to lift the phone up when an unexpected visitor arrived. None other than Sam Wilson himself.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop but did I hear you correctly? You've already made some plans for the launch?" he asked with interest.

You chuckled, "Sort of. Well, it's a rough draft of my ideas. I just thought it would be nice to get a headstart." you admitted.

Sam nodded and was about to say something when Bucky stepped out of his office, his brows furrowing upon seeing you and Sam conversing. Bucky eyed you before glancing over at Sam, patting his shoulder gently as a greeting.

"You checking up on us or what?" Bucky teased with a chuckle.

Sam shook his head, "Not really. Well, kinda. I figured that another presentation would be unnecessary, I mean. I'd love to work on the launch with your team instead of being on the sidelines for approvals." he admitted.

You shrugged, "I think that's a great idea too. Less time to waste, less back and forth." you pitched in.

Bucky frowned a bit, his jaw clenching at how you backed up Sam immediately. "That's fine, but I have a meeting in a few. Might last the entire day. Mackenzie won't be here until tomorrow too." he said.

"She and I can discuss her plans today and maybe I can pitch in some of my ideas too. She can present them tomorrow to you and Kenzie." Sam suggested, gesturing over to you.

Bucky stared at you and Sam alternately, his hands balling into fists at his sides. You could see his internal struggle about leaving you and Sam to discuss about the launch, without his presence.

You lifted up the folder in your hand, "I wanted to go over these plans with you but I didn't know you have a meeting. Sam and I can just refine these today, would save us a lot of time. We don't want to be rushing anything for this project at the last minute." you told him.

Bucky swallowed but nodded anyway, albeit with hesitation, "Yeah. Of course. I'll just catch up on the both of you later."

And with that, Bucky walked away but not without sparing you and Sam one final glance. His eyes met yours for a brief moment and you weren't sure, but you saw a flash of worry in his eyes before it was immediately replaced by his usual stern, ice-cold gaze.

You turned to Sam with a smile, "We can discuss in the conference room." you said and led the way.

The planning was seamless and you were surprised that you had so much fun exchanging ideas with Sam, to the point of almost forgetting about lunch break. It was quarter past noon when the both of you realized that it was way past lunch time.

"Do you want to grab lunch or order something instead? I honestly hate working lunch, just so you know." Sam said with a laugh.

You groaned, "I hate that too, honestly." you admitted with a chuckle.

Sam nodded, "Great, we can head out for a quick lunch?" he asked.

It didn't even cross your mind to hesitate, so you immediately agreed and even asked if you can take Beverly with you. You'd grown somewhat attached to her in the short time you've known her. Poor kid was being treated like an outcast by the other office girls. She always waited for you to have your lunch break too, especially that Mark has been pretty busy lately.

Sam was kind enough to agree about including Beverly for lunch. The two of you were about to head out of the conference room when Beverly peeked in, worry etched all over her face.

"I need your help." she whined, "I think I messed up Sir James' schedule. Mister Nakajima is on the phone and said that he's going to be an hour late for a meeting today. I forgot about Sir James’ meeting with another company today!" she explained, almost close to tears.

You rushed over to her and held her shoulders, "Hey, calm down. Did you tell Mister Nakajima?" you asked.

"I did and he got mad at me! Today is his only free day and he said that if he doesn't meet up with Sir James, the deal is off." Beverly said, stomping her foot on the ground.

You heaved out a sigh, knowing that the deal was very important. Mister Nakajima owned an auto manufacturing company which produces world-class materials for cars. Bucky had been working on convincing Mister Nakajima to be his permanent supplier for quite a while now. Big fucking deal.

You looked back at Sam, "Hey, I'm sorry. Can you give me a couple of minutes?" you asked with an apologetic expression.

"Take your time." Sam nodded with a smile.

You went over to Beverly's desk and took over the phone call, without knowing that Sam trailed behind you. He watched you carefully as you talked to Mister Nakajima, your demeanor calm yet confident.

"Hi, Mister Nakajima. I'm the company's Marketing Head and I would like to apologize for the mix up. Bucky has been working really hard on improving the quality of our products, he's been in meetings in and out. That being said, would it be alright if I take over this afternoon's meeting instead? Bucky worked on an amazing presentation and I honestly would love to go over it with you and just show you how this partnership would be beneficial for both our companies." you asked.

Fortunately, you were able to appease Mister Nakajima while also saving Beverly's ass for her honest mistake. As soon as the call was done, you reassured Beverly that everything was fine now and that you'll take care of Bucky. By the time you looked back at Sam, he was merely smiling at you.

"You're really good with people."

Lunch break passed by quickly, with you, Sam and Beverly engaging in all sorts of conversations. Even Beverly felt comfortable being around his presence. He mainly talked about his experiences at his first job, giving Beverly a couple of tips on how to navigate through the corporate world.

Sam was very kind.

The planning resumed after lunch and by the time Mister Nakajima and his associates arrived, the launch plan was pretty much refined with a lot of details. Sam excused himself to give you time to meet with Mister Nakajima, however, he said he'll be staying until Bucky comes back.

Presenting to Mister Nakajima made you nervous as fuck, especially that he didn't really work closely with you which might affect his decision. Luckily though, you knew Bucky's presentation like the back of your hand due to the fact that he had gone over it with you for a couple of times back when the two of you were still, well, fucking around.

Ah, the good old days.

The meeting with Mister Nakajima went perfectly well because as soon as you were done with the presentation, the old man simply asked for the contract to seal the deal. Although it wasn't you who actually worked on the deck, you had a sense of fulfillment. You were proud of yourself and you couldn't wait to dangle it right in front of Bucky's face.

"Thank you so much, Mister Nakajima. We are excited for this partnership." you said happily as you led him and his associates out of the conference room, just as when Bucky arrived.

He looked confused when Mister Nakajima greeted him happily, shaking his hand and telling him how good his presentation was. Bucky looked over at you, as if asking what the hell was going on. You merely shrugged and headed back inside the conference with Sam.

Bucky followed shortly and for some reason, he looked agitated. He was about to speak up when Sam beat him to it, giving him a hard pat on the back.

"The launch event is gonna be really good." he said confidently before glancing at you.

"You're lucky to have her, Bucky." he said before bidding goodbye, giving you one last look and a wink as well, something that Bucky immediately noticed.

When Sam left, so did the light atmosphere inside the conference room. Bucky turned to you with a scowl, his footsteps rushed and heavy as he approached you.

"What the hell happened with Mister Nakajima?" he asked gruffly.

You smiled as you handed him an envelope, "The partnership is a go. He signed the contract and his team will be keeping in contact with us and our factory soon." you explained proudly.

Bucky took the envelope from your hand and went through the contract before placing it back on the table. "I thought my meeting with him isn't until Friday."

"Beverly mixed up your schedule and before you even reprimand her, give the girl a break. It's her first job and with the amount of meetings you've been having, mix-ups are inevitable. What matters now is that I took over the presentation and Mister Nakajima signed the contract." you explained with nonchalance.

Bucky shook his head, "The end does not justify the means." he said. "Beverly should have been careful. My schedule is not a joke and if I miss another important meeting, that can fuck up the entire company."

You rolled your eyes, "Calm down, Beverly surely learned from today's mistake. It's done. The deal is on. Everything is peachy. The launch details have been planned out, Sam is happy with it. All I have to do is to secure your and Mackenzie's approval for it and then we can start with the execution. You're welcome." you said all in one breath, handing Bucky a USB containing the details of the launch.

You brushed past Bucky to leave the conference room but you were immediately pulled back with his hand around your arm. He looked down at you with an angry look on his face, almost fuming. You couldn't understand why the fuck he was so aggravated with you today. Sure, he had been testing your patience lately but it was the first time he actually looked like he was going to snap.

Not at the situation, but at you.

"Are you trying to impress Sam? Taking on my responsibilities while he's around?" he asked, eyes narrowing at you.

You scoffed, unable to believe what Bucky was accusing you of. Pulling your arm back, you took a step back and looked at him with disgust. "You're unbelievable, Bucky." you said.

"Had I not stepped in, we would have lost the deal. You promoted me for a reason, and I believe part of it is my leadership skills. And no, I'm not trying to impress Sam. I'm simply doing my fucking job." you hissed and tried to side step Bucky, only for him to block your way.

"Did he offer you a position in his company? What the fuck was the wink all about?" Bucky accused yet again.

"Oh my god, Bucky! You're blowing things out of proportion. He didn't. We talked about the event. That's it." you explained, pinching the bridge of your nose because Bucky was getting on your very last nerve.

Bucky had been fucking with you too much now and you could feel the last bits of your composure slowly slip away with every word that was coming out of his mouth. Coming for your job was one thing, but accusing you of flirting your way to another company? That was a low blow.

"Don't lie to me, I saw the notification on your phone the other day. Seems to me like Tinder matches don't work for you anymore, you moved on to LinkedIn now to find connections instead?" he asked and that particular statement struck a certain nerve.

You let out a bitter scoff, "Do you even hear yourself, Bucky? At least Sam was being professional and didn't use Tinder to hire a fucking consultant to threaten my damn job!" you slipped, unable to hold back.

The look on Bucky's face was a whirlwind of emotions-- shock, wrath, exhaustion-- and you felt like you were supposed to get scared. Gone were the blue orbs that used to make you feel safe, his eyes only held anger in them. And the thing was, your eyes looked the same as you held Bucky's gaze.

You were so fucking tired of everything, of Bucky.

"How did you-- it doesn't matter." Bucky said, shaking his head. "How much did Sam offer you?" he asked.

Your jaw dropped at the implication of Bucky's statement, "You are a fucking asshole, Bucky. Sam didn't offer me a fucking job. You really don't listen, Bucky. You never listen." you huffed out exasperatedly.

"Okay, maybe he hasn't laid down his offer yet. Perhaps, you let him fuck you too?"

Your vision blacked out upon hearing that and by the time you regained your senses, all you could feel was how your palm stung. You had walked up to Bucky and slapped him right across the face, hard enough to make the corner of his bottom lip bleed. Your entire body was trembling from rage as you stood in front of Bucky.

He tilted his head as he wiped the blood off from his lip, looking up at you with lust-filled eyes. And then his hand gripped your neck, tugging you close for a bruising kiss. You grunted against his mouth and pushed him away, slapping him again. Before Bucky could even recover, your fingers wrapped around his tie pulling him down to you for another kiss.

Walls crumbled down, tension was broken and needs were being fulfilled. The rush of emotions blurred the line between fury and lust with the latter obviously winning. All you could think about was the throb that you suddenly felt within your core begging for relief.

Relief that was denied from you for the past few weeks of playing cat and mouse with Bucky.

And with the way Bucky was kissing you, you knew he felt the same. It had been too long and both your minds were too hazy to even care that it was only five in the afternoon and that there were employees working just outside the conference room.

Was the fear of getting caught going to stop you? No, not now. Because you needed release and you were sure as hell going to get it. This wasn't like the other times you and Bucky fucked. You didn't care about Bucky at the moment, how he felt or what was going on in his mind. You just needed to release all your pent up emotions and you were going to use Bucky to get what you need.

Bucky pushed you against the table, your tailbone hitting the edge with such force that made you groan from pain.

"Yeah, why don't you make some noise so everyone can see how fucking needy you are for me?" Bucky growled, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep your eyes on him as his other hand bunched your skirt up to your waist.

You let out a chuckle, "I'm not the one going to make noise here." you warned before reaching down to palm his erection.

Bucky hissed and bit his lip hard to prevent himself from eliciting a moan. His jaw ticked as he squeezed your face tighter, forcing you to open your mouth as his eyes scanned your features.

"Watch your fucking mouth, baby. I still own you, you're fucking mine." he said through gritted teeth, his eyes lidded as he looked down at you like a predator.

You kept your mouth closed but as soon as Bucky's fingers found your damp panties, you weren't able to stop your whimper. Bucky took the opportunity and spit in your mouth before crashing his lips against yours in a messy kiss. It was all tongue and spit, the way he kissed you as his fingers rubbed at your folds through the thin fabric of your underwear.

He kissed you like he owned you.

"I'm not yours, Bucky." you said as your hands quickly unbuckled his belt, unzipping his trousers and pulling out his hard cock from the confines of his boxers.

The groan that reverberated from Bucky's chest as you stroked him made you smirk. His hand on your face slid down to your neck, holding you tightly as he pushed aside your underwear and then he slid into you with no prior warning. The lack of foreplay made it hurt when he bottomed out, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure when Bucky started moving his hips against yours.

No words were further exchanged from then on. Only soft whimpers and hushed grunts could be heard. However, it was clear that even up until now, there was competition. You didn't want to make noise, didn't want to lose to Bucky. You didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing how fucking good he was making you feel right now, with how each drag of his cock was making your toes curl inside your heels.

Your hands held onto his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the table, the fabric of his suit bunching up against your fingers. Bucky kept his gaze on you and not once did you falter, not even when the tip of his cock hit your cervix, almost punching the air out of your lungs.

Bucky held the back of your thighs and lifted you up, sitting you on the edge of the table and bending forward so he could angle his cock in a way that you would feel it deep within you. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist, one of your hands scratching at his jaw as he continued to pound your sopping cunt.

"God, fucking missed this pussy. Can feel you clamping down on my cock, you gonna cum soon?" he asked, pressing the tip of his nose against yours.

You clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling the wanton moan that Bucky pounded out of you. Not wanting to be the only one to make noise, you clenched around him hard. Bucky let out a growl at how your walls squeezed his cock, his balls tightening as his own orgasm approached.

"Cum for me, Bucky." you whimpered, tipping your head up to lick at Bucky's mouth as your legs tightened around his waist to pull him deeper into you.

Bucky exhaled heavily through his nose, the veins on his neck popping out as he fucked your harder on the table. He kept his hand wrapped around your neck while the other held onto your waist so tight, you could feel his fingers digging deep into your skin. Even with your clothes on, you were sure that you'll be getting bruises from how hard his grip on you was.

"Go on, Bucky. Want your cum inside, want to feel you fill me up again." you moaned against his parted lips, darting your tongue out to taste his mouth.

The needy tone of your voice sent Bucky to the edge first. He uttered a string of curses under his breath as ropes of his cum painted your walls with their warmth with triggered your orgasm. Your body convulsed as waves of pleasure ran through your veins, starting from your fingertips down to your toes. Bucky kissed you and swallowed your moans as his thrusts slowed down.

It took a while for the both of you to recover from the intense fucking. Bucky nuzzled your neck with his nose, his heavy breaths warming up your sweaty skin. There was a short moment of peace that followed, the tension gone and was replaced by a heavy feeling.

You swallowed hard and slowly regained your senses. The release cleared your mind and the memories of the heated exchange from earlier were quick to come back. Bucky's accusations echoed in your ear and they were so clear it almost felt like he was saying them to you again.

Suddenly, you doubted Bucky's intentions when he promoted you. Was he really impressed of your skills at work or was it because you let him fuck you?

"Get off of me." you said, pushing at Bucky's chest until he straightened up.

Ignoring the emptiness you felt when his cock slipped out of you, you hopped down from the table and started fixing yourself. In the many times you had slept with Bucky, it was the first time that you felt disgusted with yourself.

You turned your back to Bucky as you adjusted your underwear, pulling down your skirt and pressing your palms against the fabric to iron out the creases. Your breath was heavy as you processed what had just happened. And just like that, your reserve broke and the strong facade you had built crumbled down into pieces, leaving you vulnerable.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Bucky suddenly asked when he heard your sniffing, the darkness in his features gone.

His eyes were back to blue and there was nothing but genuine concern when he saw the tears in your eyes. Bucky tried to approach you but you quickly backed away from him, your arms wrapping around yourself as protection.

"Did you hurt me?" you scoffed. "In more ways than one, Bucky." you quickly added, wiping away your tears hastily with the back of your hand.

You were about to walk out of the conference but decided that it was probably time for you to actually speak up about everything. How you felt for him and how much you hated him for coming at you like that.

"I was going to admit that I like you. I thought about it and figured that I was too proud and a bit selfish for not considering your feelings when I rejected you." you explained.

Bucky blinked in confusion, "What? When?"

You shrugged, "The day you brought in Mackenzie. And I was more hurt than mad that you did that. Because you knew how much this job means to me and you had used it against me. You basically took advantage of my weakness, for what? To get me to cave in? Even when I clearly told you how fucking scared I was of the consequences of whatever kind of relationship we have?" you huffed out.

You didn't allow Bucky to speak, not yet. Not until you were done making him understand why you had been so hell-bent on keeping things professional.

"I wasn't born into a rich family like you, Bucky. I had to work my way up to where I am. Unlike you, I have a family to support and if I lose this job, it's not only me who would suffer. And it won't be easy for me to find another one, not after the reputation I'd have once we get busted." you further explained.

"I told you about it so many times and I wish you listened. Because maybe we could've figured shit out. Or I don't know, maybe the fucking was too good and you only wanted me for that." you shrugged.

Bucky quickly shook his head, "No. God no, you're more than that."

You chuckled again, a fresh wave of tears flooding the corners of your eyes. "It most definitely felt like it when you accused me of fucking Sam."

"Fuck, I'm sorry. Let me explain, please? I didn't mean to, I was too--"

"No, Bucky. You didn't listen to me when I told you how I felt about us. Now you're going to know how it feels to not to get what you want." you sternly said before walking over to the door.

You turned back at Bucky and refused to let his expression get to you. He looked devastated, his eyes glassy from the tears he had been holding back, his lips parted as he finally realized what he had done.

"Expect my resignation letter by tomorrow. As soon as we're done with the launch, I'm out."

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @im-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky

#bbb writes #the match #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky angst #sebastian stan

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sugarylawliet · 3 years

Note

In Death Note, you know the part where the L placed spy cams everywhere within Yagami’s house?

What if Light and his girlfriend start doing the deeds to look like normal hormones teens?

YES OMG i’ve actually thought of this before so i’m so glad someone requested it LMFAO

> warnings: swearing, smut, degradation, sir kink, kind of exhibition??

Light tossed his backpack onto his bed, loosening his red tie before collapsing onto the bed himself, letting his exhaustion express itself in the most natural way he thought possible. It’s hard to act natural when you’re being watched; you almost forget every aspect of your daily routine, putting excessive thought into typically mindless tasks like walking around your house or laying on your bed to the point of obviousness.

“Light, wanna play video games?” Ryuk asked, standing before the boy.

Light fell back onto his bed, placing his hands behind his shoulders with a deep sigh. Closing his eyes, he prepared for the performance he’d have to put on. How could he ignore Ryuk without giving off reactions to the shinigami’s words, tilts of the head or instinctive hums of agreement that could incriminate himself in a matter of seconds.

“You listening? Hello?”

Light only ignored him, grabbing a long beige coat from the closet before heading outside, Ryuk following close behind.

“Hey, Light, what’s with the brushing off? I’m starting to get annoyed.”

He popped his collar and rolled up his sleeves, checking meticulously for any bits of wire or chips of plastic that could be audio bugging him.

“Light! Hey!” Ryuk wined.

“There might be secret hidden cameras around the house,” The brunette broke the silence, his voice in a slightly raspy lowered tone, almost a whisper, “Or microphones, probably both.” He explained, going on to detail his clever methods of finding out if someone had been in his room- or if someone had opened his door, at least.

“Let’s go on a camera hunt! You got a plan after that?” Ryuk asks.

“Simple, make it seem like I have no idea the cameras are even there, and that I’m just a normal teenager. I’ll probably need some excuse for why I have that paper and lead in my door, they’ll want to know why I don’t want anyone in my room, what I’m hiding, and if the footage reveals I’m hiding absolutely nothing, that’ll look even more suspicious. Every teenager has secrets.”

“So what’ll you do?”

“You’ll see.”

_______________________________

“This feels objectifying, Yagami.”

You walk down the street leading to your boyfriend’s house, accompanied by the man himself as he explains his, quite frankly, pervy plan.

“Objectifying? We have sex all the time, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but nobody plans out when they’re gonna fuck. It’s just weird.”

“Hey,” Light stops walking, facing towards you as he gently lifts your chin with his thumb and index finger. The feeling made you melt, and he knew that very well. The way Light held your face and looked at you like you were the only thing on earth felt exhilarating, he could tell you anything in that position and you’d believe it. And that’s just what he does, constantly. “This is not an option, this isn’t personal business. This is about Kira. This is going to throw suspicion off me, okay? Do it. For me.”

You sighed deeply. He had you the moment he held your chin like that. “And there won’t be any explicit footage of us? There won’t be a camera like, right there?”

“I don’t know where all the cameras are, but there aren’t many like that in my room at all, we’ll be safe.” He lied, a practice that came so easily to him he no longer viewed it as morally wrong. It was just something he did, like going to school and eating dinner or doing homework, he also lied.

“Okay.” You agreed with a smile, prompting him to release his grasp on you and continue the walk home.

“I didn’t realize he went through such great lengths...might there be something in his room that he doesn’t want anyone to see?” Soichiro Yagami remarked, watching Light fiddle with the thin strip of paper in the doorway and the piece of lead in the hinges as you stood patiently behind him.

“Well, considering he’s 17, it isn’t all that unusual. I’ve done it myself, for no reason at all.” L responds, “I am a bit curious, though, as to what he’s hiding so admently.”

You enter Light’s bedroom with him, shutting the door behind you as you watch him toss his bag down besides his bed.

“Y/N, are you scared of me?” He turns to face you.

“Hm? Why would I be.”

“L, the best detective in the world, thinks I’m Kira when I’m not.”

Oh, Light.

“He makes me out to be some kind of monster,” He continues, “I’m worried you’ll start to believe him.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“Huh?”

Before you could register his comment, Light lunges for you, tossing you onto his bed before tickling your stomach and sides.

‘L-Light! St-stop! Please!” You cried between giggles.

“Make me.”

Understanding, you connect your lips to his, causing his hands to rub up and down where he previously tickled you. You moaned into the kiss as Light pushed harder into it, his desperation showing. You wished he would take his time, but you knew the real reason you were here. His hands slid down to your lower half, pushing his hand inside your pants and rubbing your clit through your panties. You gasped, hand reaching up to grab his wrist reflexively. He let out a chuckle.

Impatiently, he stood up straight, unbuttoning your pants before slipping them completely off along with your panties, leaving you in only your t-shirt on his bed.

“I figured,” L sighed, “You can close your eyes if you’d like, Yagami-san, but I’m afraid I need you here for legal purposes.”

Light crouched down onto the floor, lifting your legs to lay bent on his shoulders. Teasingly, he licked a line down your slit, earning a gasp from you. He straightened himself out again, moving towards your face. “L is watching,” He whispered, his hot breath on your ear, “Put on a show.” He smirked.

Watching? Had Light lied?

Light lowered himself back down to push his tongue inside you. His tongue wriggled around, exploring your walls with lust.

“Oh, Light” You moaned, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle the sound. You knew L, you knew the whole task force for that matter. Your face flushed with embarrassment imagining any of them reviewing this footage and hearing your moans. Hell, Light’s dad worked with L, he could be watching for all you knew.

You jolted at the sudden sting of Light smacking your thigh with an open palm. “Don’t hold back, angel, and don’t cover your mouth. I want to hear all your pretty moans.” He said, removing himself from your core before pressing his lips almost to your ear again, lowering his voice to a whisper, “I want L to see how good I make you feel. Got it?”

You faintly nodded before he returned to your heat, dipping his tongue inside once again while his thumb felt your clit, rubbing it in circles. You knot your fingers through his brown hair, bringing his face closer to your pussy with a moan. He sped up his actions, practically abusing your clit while his tongue hit your g-spot, curling sightly upwords inside of you.

“Fuck, Light, I can’t, I’m gonna...”

With that, Light pulled away, leaving you edged and wanting more. You pouted, sticking your lip out with a whine. Light, having none of it, roughly raked his hand through your hair, forcing you up close to his face by your scalp. “You listen to me.” He growled, the heat of his breath warming your face, “No whining, and no disobeying. Got that?” He yanked your hair with the last syllable for emphasis. You let out a weak “Mhm.”

He shoved you to the bed chest-first by your hair, never letting his fingers leave your locks.

“Ass up.” He commanded, you obliged slowly, legs feeling a bit sore from him eating you out.

Hastily he unbuckled his belt before folding it in half, smacking your ass with it leaving a slight red mark. “When I tell you to do something, you do it quickly.”

“Yes Light.”

You yelped as he smacked you again with the belt in the same place, the stinging leaving your ass feel like it was burning.

“Yes who?” He asked.

“Yes sir.”

“Atta girl.” He pushed his khakis fully down before aligning himself with your entrance, rubbing his head up and down your slit teasingly.

“Sir please...” You begged.

“Please what? Say it.”

“Please, please fuck me sir. I want your cock, please.”

“Well, only since you asked so nicely.” Light slid himself into you with a groan. Slowly, he rocked himself into you.

“F-faster, please sir. Faster.” You moaned, gripping onto the sheets.

Light obliged right away, almost as if he was waiting for you to ask for it. He quicked his speed, pounding into you mercilessly. He licked his lips, relishing in the loud slew of moans and curses spilling from your mouth as he fucked you.

“Look at you, you fucking slut. Begging for me to go faster. You’re so goddamn desperate for my cock, you dirty whore.”

You couldn’t help but moan at his words, though degrading, the fact that Light liked you at all made you feel worth something. Light Yagami, Kira, the god of the new world, liked you. Though you’d never admit it to the stubborn boy, he could say almost anything to you, about you, and you’d still love him.

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so tight.” He knotted his fingers back into your hair for stability as he thrusted into you even faster, burying himself deep into you.

“Oh my god, fuck, Light- sir, it’s so good.” You cried, feeling your orgasm creeping up once again. “I’m gonna...”

“Do it, come for me angel.” He encouraged, bringing his free hand up to play with your clit. The stimulation sent you over the edge. “Oh fuck, oh my god, fuck you feel so good.” You came loudly, only a little before Light did as well.

L watched Light collapsed beside you on the bed, only the sound of your breathless pants escaping the monitor. “Uh, they’re done, Yagami-san. You can...open your eyes again. Honestly, this security footage may be useless now, at the very least we cannot bring it to court, considering your son and his girlfriend are both 17. Perhaps this was his plan along.”

“You’re saying this makes you more sure he’s Kira?!” Soichiro raised his voice.

“Well, it definitely raises my suspicions.”

Light finally stood up, tucking himself back into his jeans. Before you could pull your bottoms back up, he picked up your panties from the floor, playfully spinning them around his index finger. “You won’t be missing these, will you?” He asks sarcastically, tossing them into the drawer in his bedside table.

“Ah, so that’s what he’s hiding. A valid excuse to not want family in your room but... unexpected, to say the least.” L remarked, still somehow watching the cameras.

#i feel like im bad at writing smut bye #consider this a present for light’s bday #light yagami x reader smut #light yagami x reader #death note #death note x reader #death note smut #L lawliet #light yagami

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the-writer-ofthe-fandoms · 3 years

Text

Emergency Visits (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Words: 4.5k+

Warning(s): SMUT! Oral (Reader recieving), fingering, penetration, fluff!!! (Cringe warning too)

A/N: HONESTLY, idk why i had the courage to write smut but I did. THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHOT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SMUT LMFAO also yall know I am a sucker for crossovers SOOO the timelime for TFATWS is off in this because Frank Castle is in here and I wrote most of this before episode 5 <3

Summary: Bucky, Sam, and Zemo need a place to lay low in while in the States and you're their most trusted person they know. What was not predicted was your vigilante friend needing medical help that same night.

--------------------------------------------

You were a former Avenger. You were highly trained in combat but your purpose was to help any wounded comrade or citizen when you and the team were called in. The fighting days were pretty much over for you after the last battle with Thanos. You still used your medical knowledge to work at the different hospitals in New York City and helped Matt Murdock or Frank Castle with any wounds. Rarely you'd help with some vigilante work, but you rather sit out and keep to a less violent life.

You were mindless watching whatever Netflix suggested to you on a breezy night in your humble apartment in New York. It has been a rather boring few nights for you compared to more hectic ones, given your vigilante friends weren't getting as hurt as usual and didn't need discreet medical care.

Your cellphone ringing next to you snapped your attention away from your binging of a John Mulaney stand up show (good choice Netflix). You looked at the caller idea and swore your heart fluttered ever so slightly.

James Buchanan Barnes was calling.

You had spent many months in Wakanda with him as Shuri worked tirelessly to get rid of Hydras grasp on his mind. Your main focus was learning new information on medicine but you always made sure to visit Bucky. You both got pretty close... Light touches, lingering hugs, and often staring at each other when the other wasn't looking became a commonality. It was obvious feelings of love were blossoming for you, but you weren't fully sure if he felt the same.

After the battle you both stayed in contact, but he decided to reside in D.C. while you laid roots back in the familiarity of New York. You both made sure to visit each when possible, but it had been about a month and a half since you last saw him.

"Hey, Buck." You smiled, answering his call. "It's been a few days, usually you make sure to call every other night. Are you okay?"

"I..." You heard him sigh, making you sit up straight. "I need a favor, doll."

"Of course, you know I would do practically anything for you."

"That applies to me too right?" You heard Sam in the background, making you chuckle.

"Yes, it does Sam. How are you?"

"I've been better, these past few days have been rough but I'll let Stare-a-tron explain it to you." You heard a wack and an 'ow' come from Sam.

"So..." Bucky started but didn't continue.

"So...?"

"So, have you paid any attention to the news regarding Munich?"

"I have now connected the dots."

"What?"

"You broke a certain terrorist out of jail didn't you, James." You groan. When you saw the news about Zemo you couldn't possibly connect it to Buck and Sam, but with this call and a need of a favor instantly made you realize.

"Technically, (Y/N), he broke himself out."

"Do I need to slap some sense into you? He killed King T'Chaka. He broke up the Avengers--"

"I know, I know." You heard him sigh. You listened in closer and heard some background traffic noise that sounded like the streets of New York. "Listen, we need a place to lay low for a bit in the States and your the only person I can one-hundred percent trust. I can't tell you more on the phone but please-"

"Yes, yes of course Buck. You guys, well minus Zemo, are welcomed here for whatever reason. Do you need me to text you the address?"

"Nah, we are actually about to enter your apartment building."

"Well hurry up so we can decide on take out." You chuckled and hung up the phone. You only had to wait a few minutes before you heard knocking at your door. Wasting no time you opened the door as fast as you can and practically tackle Bucky into a hug.

He chuckled gently, "I missed you too, doll."

You released him from your hold and grinned as Sam. "Come here Sam, I haven't seen you in a few months." You pulled him into a less dramatic but friendly hug.

"Good to see you too, (Y/N)." Sam and Buck made their way into the apartment leaving you faced to face with Zemo.

"Hello." You greeted, offering a differential handshake.

"Hello, (Y/N). I hope all is well." He accepted the short handshake and gave an equally differential smile before entering your apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode, make yourselves at home here. I have two bedrooms so we better discuss sleeping arrangements-"

"Easy, I call dibs bunking with you while Wings and Zemo stay in your spare room." Bucky interrupted.

"Hold up, why can't you stay with creepy-magee? I'm sure you two would love to stare at each other." Sam argued.

"Because I called dibs, isn't that right Doll?"

"He did call dibs, Sam." You shrugged and laugh at his look of betrayal.

You heard Zemo start to speak but Sam beat him to it, "You don't get an opinion." Zemo simply put his hands up and surrendered while the other two kept arguing about the concept of dibs.

"Anyways I'll order some Chinese food and we can discuss why you three are here over dinner."

--------

Your mind was blown.

Bucky and Sam filled you in on Isaiah, the return of super soldiers, why they needed Zemo, and the issues they had with the New Captain America. You also almost chastised Bucky for missing his mandated therapy session but decided to keep eating your food and let him continue.

"Wow, that is fucking nuts. Super soldiers, huh?" You sigh. As much as you didn't want to, you had a feeling they would need your help with fighting. After all you fought along with the original Captain America, so you picked up ways to fight super soldiers.

"Yeah, after Madripoor we need to lay low. Hopefully no one spotted us." Sam said, starting to pick up his dishes. Everyone seemed to follow suit and you were about to speak again when you heard knocking at your door.

"Hey, can you take these for me? I'll go answer the door." You slid your stuff towards Buck who looked at you worried.

"Do you want one of us to answer the door with you?"

"Nah I should be fine, it's probably Mrs. Espinoza looking for her sons cat." You waved him off, making your way to the door. You unlock your locks and crack open the door.

There stood Frank fucking Castle, covered in an obscene amount of blood while using the wall for support.

"Hey..." He greeted with a hoarse voice and a weak attempt of a smile.

"Holy shit, Frank." You said barely above a whisper. "Fuck, can one you guys come here?!" You shouted, opening the door wider while taking one his arms over your shoulder.

"What the hell, (Y/N)?" Bucky looked at you and the blood soaked Punisher with bewilderment.

"I'll explain in a bit! Just help me take him to the couch. Sam go get my medical bag, it's in my closet in the room on the left! Zemo clear everyones stuff from the couch." You barked out orders while you and James carefully led Frank to the couch. When Zemo cleared it off and Sam came running out with your bag, you both laid him down on the couch.

With no hesitation you quickly wash your hands and prepare your equipment.

"Are you going to tell us what the hell is happening right now, (Y/N)?" Buck asked.

"I am also wondering why we have a beaten guy on your couch." Sam's face was full of worry.

You sigh and begin removing Franks clothes to look for any life threatening wounds. "This is the Punisher. If you haven't kept up with the more lower level news he is one of the vigilantes."

"That doesn't explain why he is here."

"I... I am friends with him and Daredevil. I patch them up so they can avoid the hospital." You see a bullet wound on his side, it was bad but it was manageable with an exit wound. "One of you hold him up so I can stitch his back."

Bucky immediately joined your side, using his enhanced strength to hold up Frank.

"You gonna introduce me to your friends here, (Y/N)?" Frank rasped. "I gotta know whose cold ass hand is touchin' me."

"I'll introduce you to them later, let me get you stable."

-----

After what felt like hours, you finished dressing a gash on his thigh. You peel of your bloodied gloves and get up from kneeling on the floor. You helped sit Frank up so he can get a good look at whose here.

"Frank, this is Sam Wilson and James Barnes. I worked and fought with them as an Avenger." You gesture to the two. You saw him eyeing Buck before giving you a knowing look. You both were friends after all, he knew of your feelings towards Bucky.

"Who's the guy in the pimp coat?" He grunted and gestured towards Zemo, who rolled his eyes.

"Baron Zemo. Escapee prisoner."

"Zemo? As in the guy who bombed the UN? Do you need me to-"

"No Frank, they need him alive." You chuckled.

"Well, it's good to put faces to names. Especially yours, James." Frank spoke, nudging you. "I'll get my spare clothes and rinse off the blood now, something tells me the guest room will be taken." You were going to protest but knew Frank was too stubborn to listen. The four of you watched him make his way to the guest room before closing the door.

"Oh so he knows about us but we don't know about him?" Sam arched a brow at you. Bucky stayed silent, clenching both his fists.

You sigh, "I am sorry for not telling you guys. I didn't keep my involvement with vigilantes away from you both on purpose, I promise."

"Can we trust the Punisher? Will everything be safe with all of us here?"

"You don't have to worry about me talking." Frank came out of the room in new clothes, using a damp towel to wipe his face. "(Y/N)'s stuck her neck out for me countless times. I owe it to her."

"If (Y/N) trusts you then we trust you."

"As much as I want to stay up, I think it is best we get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more." You stretch and yawn and everyone seemed to agree. Castle put a pillow on the couch and grabbed a spare blanket you had lying around.

"C'mon man you can have the bed. You look like you got the shit beaten out of you." Sam said.

"Nah it's fine. I'm a light sleeper. I can stay out here in case he," Castle pointed to Zemo, "tries somethin'."

"C'mon Buck, your rooming with me." You smile and grab his non-vibranium hand.

"I don't want to share a room with Zemo." Falcon groaned

"Bucky did call dibs after all."

You said goodnight to Sam, and gave Frank a quick hug goodnight before you and James went into your bedroom, a duffel bag in his hand.

James was feeling jealous. He didn't want to admit it but watching how friendly you were with Frank Castle made his feelings worse. He could pick up the familiarity between the two of you and how easy you were able to talked to him. Frank was someone in your life Bucky didn't know existed. How close were you to the Punisher?

Thoughts of you and Frank entered his head but he quickly tried to dismiss them. It made his chest ache just thinking about you and another man. Yeah, Buck was smitten with you. But the feelings of self-doubt and guilt always made it hard for him to confess. With the addition of Frank? Made it almost impossible.

"You can use the bathroom to change while I cahnge out here." Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He nodded silently, clenching his jaw, while entering the bathroom.

Your stare lingered at the door before you quickly put on a different set of comfortable clothes, discarding your previous clothes to the floor. You picked up on his sudden quietness and you hoped he wasnt truly mad at you. With a quiet sigh you slid under the blankets of your bed and waited for Bucky so you could get to bed. You and Bucky have shared the floor and bed before, and you were able to keep it together.

But after everything that has happened, after finally seeing him after almost two months, it made you feel nervous. You weren't sure if it was exhaustion or stress, but your feelings for Bucky suddenly felt overwhelming.

If that wasn't enough, you felt like your face was burning when he stepped out from the bathroom, wearing just his boxers and dogtags.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind. I found sleeping without a shirt easier to deal with nightmares. Helps cool me off."

"No, no. Don't worry at all Buck." You smile but it felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest. He smiled briefly before he turned out the lights, joining you in bed. You both laid on your sides, back facing back. You shut your eyes and try to focus on sleeping, but the image of shirtless, only in boxers James flooded your thoughts.

"Doll?" James voice cut through the silence.

"Y-yes, Buck?"

"Who... Who is Frank to you?" He asked in a low, dejected tone. Your eyes snap open. What kind of question was that from him?

"What do you mean?" You roll to face him but his back was still towards you.

"Are you and Frank..." He paused, "just ignore it, nevermind."

"Bucky, face me." He didn't respond. "Please, James." You heard him sigh but he complied, turning to face you. The subtle light from your window made it easier to see his handsome face in the dark. You gulped, trying to muster an ounce of courage to tell him these feelings you've held for him for years.

"Frank and I are strictly friends. Before he became the Punisher he had a wife and two kids who he loved dearly. They-they were killed in front of him. He loved his wife dearly and I don't think he is looking to start dating anytime soon." You sigh and things go silent for a moment.

You rested a hand on his cheek and scooch closer. "James, I... I really enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy your presence. After all that we have been through, with getting the code words out your head to losing Steve... I want to be by your side no matter what." You felt tears prick your eyes.

"I feel the same way about you doll." James spoke, just above a whisper. "You help ground me and honestly you help keep me sane." His hand found its way above yours that was cupping his cheek. Gently he moved your hand to his lips. He placed a soft kiss to your knuckles before moving it over his heart. "I've felt this for a while and I never had much courage to say it before but... I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, James." You smile, a few happy tears managed to escape your eyes.

"C'mere." He helped move you close to him, pulling you into a deep hug. The chill of his vibranium arm caused goosebumps but the warmth of his other arm gave you comfort.

You wrap your arms around his bare torso and snuggled your face into his neck. God he smelt good. With a little courage coursing through you, you gave him a small kiss on the neck before giving him a little love bite, nothing that would bruise.

Bucky chuckled moving a part from you, just enough to get a full look at your face. Without saying anything he leaned in, his eyes hooded, placing his lips on yours. One of his hands found its way to your head while the other rested on your hip. You pushed your body closer to his, while gently dragging your nails across his back.

"Mm Doll." He mumbled against your lips. "I... I want to continue this with you if that's alright with you."

"Yes, Bucky." And in an instant after giving him the word, he maneuvered you onto your back while he hovered on top of you, his dogtags dangling down. He removed them from his body.

"Don't want those hitting your pretty face." He smiled and leaned in to kiss you once again, this time him slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His warm hand rested on your neck before he slowly dragged it down your chest and to the hem of your shirt. He messed with it a little, teasing to go underneath. You whine a bit and arch your back as he kept messing with it.

"May I?" You simply nod in response. He pushed himself away from you and took the hem of your shirt, helping you remove it. The cold air hitting your now exposed chest made you shiver. "No bra? Naughty." He smirked.

"I'm not the one who came out only his his boxers."

"Touché." He tossed your shirt onto the ground and soaked in the view below him. The perfect lighting leaking through the blinds illuminated everything in just the right way. James licked his lips, "You are gorgeous, doll."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." You smile, which made him smile.

"Let me treat you like a goddess. Let me repay the favor." Without another word James attacked your neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking on the area. He continued leaving love marks from your neck down to your chest slowly. The sensation made you moan as tingles went through your body. You felt yourself getting wetter as he continued to leave hickies on your chest.

Bucky used his non-vibranium hand to cup your right breast, kneading it gently. Maintaining eye contact with you his leans his head down to your free breast before giving your raised nipple a quick lick. The feel made your body shake ever so slightly, making him smirk at the reaction. He did it again, although this time slower before latching on, using his tongue to swipe over the sensitive bump.

"Bucky-" You gasped. You felt heat slowly build in your core, not enough to have you screaming, but enough to feel pleasurable. "That feels so good." He continued giving your tender breasts and nipples attention, slowly building you up.

"Lets get these pajama shorts off." He sat up again, moving himself lower on the bed. He gripped the waistband of your shorts and began slowly removing them while you lifted your legs to help. Discarding them like your shirt, he tosses those articles of clothing to the floor. You were left with just your panties

His hands take your knees and help spread your legs farther a part, soaking in the view of your body spread out. His mouth found its place on your in thigh. He left small kissed, sometimes little bites, and he dragged his mouth closer and closer to your wet pussy. "I want to taste you doll, is that alright?"

"Y-yes Bucky, please." You begged, adjusting your hips ever so slightly. "I want to feel you more."

"As you wish." He smirked. Before he removes your panties he places soft kissed over the fabric covering your pussy. You stifle a moan, as he continued to tease you against the fabric. When he was done, he remove your underwear with ease.

"You are stunning, absolutely stunning." His hand found its way to your slit. He gently brushed his fingers over your sensitive skin, making your body twitch ever so slightly. "You're so wet for me, already." His tongue slowly and softly dragged around your vagina and clit, the teasing is back on.

"A-Ah!" You quietly moaned, trying to keel your voice down. You moan again when you felt one metal finger enter slowly while his mouth latched to your clit. One of your hands reached down to grip his hair as he began to finger and play with your clitoris.

The pleasure had your curling your toes. You had to bite your lip to hold back from moaning loudly. You didn't feel like waking up the others.

Another finger entered as he started to speed up his motions, his tongue and mouth still on your clitoris.

"That feels so good." You said with an airy tone as he continued to work.

"You taste divine." His breath against your sensitive skin made you your thighs clamp around his head. The pleasure was building up and you felt like your were close to cumming.

"J-James, - oh god!" You kept your voice down but the work he is doing to your clit made it hard to stay quiet. "Fuck-"

James give your clit one last lick before sitting, removing his fingers in the process. He then licked his fingers clean as he stared down at your panting body. He could feel his cock wanting to be free from his boxers so he removed them, letting his large erection out. He watched you squirm as you awaited for his touch again.

"Do you want my dick inside you, doll?"

"Ye-yes please." You begged, wiggling your hips for him. "Please!"

"God your so hot." He leaned back over you, placing a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips. Lining himself up to your entrance he looked to you. "Ready?"

"Yes!" He smiled, and slowly slide his cock inside you. You gasp as you feel him stretch you out, tears stinging your eyes. He stopped once he was fully in, letting you have a moment to get adjusted. "I don't know how I'll keep my voice down."

"Bury your face into my neck, I want to hear you moan my name."

You did what he suggested, you wrapped your arms around his torso while he used his vibranium arm to stay stable and his other arm around your head to keep himself close to you. His body was completely on top of yours.

"You can move now."

James slowly moved his hips away, almost entirely removing his cock from you except the tip before thrusting back in. Your moan was successful smothered by his body. He continued thrust himself inside your pussy, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.

"O-Oh James- yesyesyes," You mewl. "You feel so good." You heard him let out a husky groan in your ear.

"I love it when you say my name, (Y/N)." He whispered in your ear as he kept his pace. You continue to moan out his name, gripping him tight as his thrust got faster. "Fuck, your so tight."

"Shit- faster!" You begged and he obliged. "You're so good to me Bucky. You-you're perfect." You could feel his thrust starting to gst sloppy as you felt waves of pleasure course through your body.

"Baby you make me crazy." He moaned. You could feel his hand make its way down to your clit, and your body arches against his as he pressed down on the sensitive bud. He practically started pounding your pussy as he moaned in your ear.

"James I'm gonna- I'm so close!" You cry out as the the feeling kept building.

"Do it, cum for me."

It was like everything in your body started shake as the pressure finally snaps in your core. You bury your face into his chest and moan his name as blinding, white hot pleasure filled your being. Your walls tighten around his cock and you feel him start to tense.

His thrusts became harder before he finally released his thick cum inside of you before collapse onto of you, panting. Both of you were sweaty and breathing hard, but neither of you moved. The feeling of his cock inside you, twitching, was extremely hot.

"You're amazing, (Y/N)." He grinned, making you smiled.

"You're the best damn thing in my life, James."

---------

You woke up naked the next morning, curled up to an equally naked, sleeping Bucky. You smiled, remembering last nights confession and everything after that. You watch him sleep for a moment before deciding to slip out of bed to make everyone breakfast. You throw on the pajamas you wore before hand and quietly leave the room.

You close the door as quietly as and turned around, only to see Frank sitting at the table reading a magazine you had lying around.

"Oh good morning Frank." You smiled and walked past him, hoping he wouldn't notice anything. "I'm gonna make some breakfast for everyone."

"Morning, (Y/N)." He grunted. "Sleep well?"

You almost choked on air, "Yes, I did. How about you?"

"Oh you know, the couch is alright but I am a light sleeper remember? I kept hearing weird noises through the night. " Your face felt on fire as you turned to face him. He wore a smug smirk on his face. "Got something on your neck there."

You rush to grab your phone and look in the camera. Low and behold, hickies were left on your neck. "Shit."

Frank snorted, "So you finally got with your crush, huh?"

"Oh shut it you grump."

"I'm just teasing you. You know I'm happy for you, (Y/N)."

"Thanks, Frank."

Frank decided to help you with breakfast, taking on making bacon and sausage while you attended to making pancakes. And sure enough the rest of the people in the apartment came out.

"They're gonna see them. "

"I know, I am bracing myself for Sam's teasing." You sigh. You go and place the plate pancakes you made on the table while Frank placed the bacon and sausage he made.

"G'morning, doll. I missed ya in the morning." Bucky approached you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I wanted you to wake up to some breakfast." You grinned and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Did you finally confess your feelings?" You heard Sam. "I gotta get ahold of Tic Tac and Clint they owe- what the hell is on your neck (Y/N), is that what I think it is?" He groaned and sat at the table, everyone taking their spots.

"Hickies are messages on the body that can show ones presence on another-" Zemo spoke but was cut off by Sam.

"I do not want to know, Zemo. Lets just eat."

Breakfast was great. You were surprised Frank got along with the others, though it did take some talking to by Sam to break him out of his shell. You also could have sworn Buck and Frank had a stare down at one point but were both laughing and smiling.

You take hold of Bucks hand that was on the table and give it a light squeeze, smiling at him while he smiled back. Life was pleasant even after these emergency visits.

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