#fuck da headmaster

[ellecdc]

A Man With a Plan (prologue)

prologue // p1 // p2 // p3 // p4 // p5 // p6 // p7

Remus Lupin x whimsical!reader - Hogwarts Era (no Voldemort) - Soulmate AU

A/N: Hello! I've been stuck in my head about the idea of a whimsical reader (think Luna Lovegood) after reading the many sweet writings of other writers on Tumblr (specifically @ moonstruckme)! I totally ship a character like this with Remus because I feel like Remus has a tendency to overthink and get stuck in his own head and a character like this would be a breath of fresh air for him and balance him really well. Please note: whimsical does not = stupid! Rather, quite smart but people find her odd and reduce this to lack of intelligence. This is my little prologue, a sort of soulmate-esque AU - what do we think? Do we like this idea? Would we read it???

CW: swearing (cuz it's Remus 'Werewolf McSwearWolf' Lupin's POV, duh)

If there was one thing people ought to know about Remus John Lupin, it was that Remus was a planner. At any given point, it would be safe to assume that Remus had a plan.

As would be typical of Remus Lupin’s luck, however, most of his plans got fucked to shit.

Example A:

As a child, Remus planned to grow up to be a wizard like his da, or a nurse like his mum. That plan was fucked to bits just before his 5th birthday when Fenrir Greyback damned him to a life of lycanthropy and a side serving of prejudice. 

Example B:

Remus Lupin planned to never be accepted to Hogwarts on account of his previously stated damnation. That plan also went sideways when an owl dropped a letter into his porridge on the morning of his 11th birthday, containing an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Remus’ da told Remus it was likely a mistake and they would rescind the offer once they learnt of his lycanthropy. Once again, plans were nullified when headmaster Dumbledore himself showed up on the doorstep of the Lupin Cottage after not receiving a response from them.

Example C:

Once he confirmed his acceptance to Hogwarts, Remus Lupin planned to be completely invisible throughout his time at school. This meant: no embarrassing himself, no bringing attention to himself, and absolutely, under no circumstances, would he make friends.

Of course, as should have been expected, this plan was fucked upside down and backwards seven ways to Sunday when the likes of James Fleamont Potter and Sirius Orion Black set their sights upon him.

Though Remus Lupin did have a plan, he was still just a boy. He’d been homeschooled his entire life due to being unable to explain his absences to muggle teachers as well as his scars/injuries from every full moon, and the village kids were quite fearful of the scarred boy. All this to say; he’d never had friends before.

So, sue him for relishing in the interest these boys seemed to have in him.

No matter: Remus could handle this. “How?” You may be wondering. By a plan, of course! 

Remus Lupin would allow these two (and Peter who went about befriending the boy in a much gentler way, so let’s make it three) friends, and planned to ensure that they never learned of his lycanthropy. He’d only just made friends; he wasn’t about to lose them. 

Of course, Sirius being the nosey fucker he is, James being the doting mother hen he is, and Peter being far too perceptive for anyone’s good – that plan was fucked to shit as well.

Remus, then, planned then to never let anyone else ever learn his secret again.

That plan was once again fucked by none other than Sirius Black and his unfortunate ‘prank’ on Severus Snape that could have cost Remus and Severus both of their lives, or at the very least, their lives as they knew it.

Remus Lupin then planned to never forgive Sirius Black for that horrible, thoughtless prank. 

Remus was admittedly not all that sad to say that this particular plan was shot too, though he ensured Sirius suffered at least a little during the process of his forgiveness. 

So, as he sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall in September of his 7th year listening to his friend’s wax poetic about their different love interests or conquests that they had made over the summer (i.e., James’ love for Lily, Sirius’ many hook-ups, and Peter’s enthusiastic support of them both), Remus made yet another plan.

Remus John Lupin planned to never, ever, fall in love. 

Moony, it would seem, had other plans. 

Continue to the first chapter here.

#marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin #werewolf mcswearwolf #werewolf soulmate #soulmate au #hp marauders #remus lupin ficlet #remus lupin blurb #werewolf #the lupins #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lily evans

[s-4pphics]

omg i need smut for ballerina reader x tattoo artist ellie

pleaseeeee

hi hon i didn't forget ab u trust me trust me

…. but hi guys🤭 since i finished sotp and this at literally the same time why not post both.... teeeheee

wc;cw: 1.9k😳, MDNI, ellie and reader r both freaks! nasty little harlots, these two are!!, kinda exhibitionism bc car windows, weed, shotgunning(failed), mentions of daddy kink and breeding and face sitting, readers a bimbo but we knew that we love u bae :3, more monologues, cocky ellie, dirty talk, spanking, mult. orgasms and squirting, slight dumbification, titty and pussy slapping mmm, das it

… i wrote this while high soooo if there’s a typo no there’s not! bye yall :p

when ballerina!reader and tattooist!ellie fuck for the first time the world damn near melts from the inside out. 

you had finally gotten into the passenger's seat of ellie’s busted up car after she wrapped up your brand-new tat. you asked her multiple times if she was going to kill you in some nearby forest after smoking you out, in which she replied with a sly maybe. it depends on how you act when it hits. her response shook you a bit: you had just scored the lead in the nutcracker and your costume was so pretty, you had to wear it at least once and then she could do whatever she wanted with you as long as she destroyed your guts beforehand! :) 

your little tote bag was near your feet on the floor as you hummed along to the rap song blasting through her speakers, lightly bobbing your head. ellie’s—large and veiny and tattooed—hand had been sitting on your upper thigh for the entire ride as she drove in a relaxed position, head resting against the back of her seat. you caught glimpses of her out of the corner of your eye whenever she licked or bit her lips. her small habits made your thighs squeeze together, before she silently pried them back open with her free hand to rest it there again. you wanted her to make you cum so bad you’d pay her extra for it—

“this your place?” she rasped out in shock as she parked in front of your dance academy dorms. damn, she thought. you weren’t kidding, you’re not a stripper. 

“uh huh! it’s even prettier inside! marble floors and everything, i love it here so much!” you said with an excited grin that made her smile lightly. such a cutie, she thought. 

“huh,” she hummed in acknowledgment. she reached over your lap to pop open her glove box to retrieve the little ziplock baggie filled with green buds and grinder before your eyes widened in shock. 

“oh are… um… are we smoking right here? like out in the open?” 

“mhm.” she replied blankly before she smirked. “what, is your headmaster gonna come out and give you a spanking or something?” 

you wanted her to spank you so bad—

“no! i’m just asking, i’ve never done it outside before!” 

“oh yeah? you never done it outside?” she replied silkily while she packed the spoon of the pipe. 

you shivered and she caught it and please fuck me right here! i don’t care who sees!—

“i never used one of those before, it’s pretty,” you nodded towards the packed bowl. 

“thank you,” she said simply. “lemme show you how to do it.” 

after some simple instructions that you haven't payed attention to because her hands were distracting you, you nodded absentmindedly. what the fuck was she talking about again—

“are you even listening?” she said with a raised eyebrow that had a fucking slit in it oh, ohhh you might die—

when you shook your head no, she snorted before she grabbed her lighter from your hand. 

“here. watch me.” 

you watched closely as she lit the crushed green buds in the bowl, finger over a little hole on the side of the pipe before she lit it and breathed in, exhaling the smoke in a circular little cloud in front of her mouth. she looked back at you with a little see? simple. 

she’s so fucking sexy and you’re probably dripping all over her leather seats—

“show me again?” you squeaked out. 

she only slightly nodded with a cunning grin as she looked at you before she repeated her previous actions and blew the smoke away from you, handing you the pipe again. you pushed it away from you gently. 

“you’re gonna make me smoke all this by myself?” 

“i want you to do it for me… like blow it… blow it in my mouth?” you said shyly. your mind was cloudy. 

she didn’t say anything, but you could see the pleasant surprise on her face, releasing a light chuckle before she lit the bowl, yet again!, inhaling the smoke and holding it before she gripped for your cheeks with her slightly calloused hand, pulling you so close that your noses were touching. your mouth dropped open on instinct, and slowly exhaled the smoke into your mouth. 

you could barely inhale due to the pounding in your head and your chest and your swollen fucking clit—

ellie hardly even cared about you wasting a rip that good. she slowly slipped her tongue into your already open mouth, making you whimper as you wrapped your lips around it, sucking it further into your mouth. she released a satisfied hum that rattled your throat. and speaking of your throat—

she released your cheeks, sliding her large hand down to wrap around it, squeezing the sides and gauging your reaction. you were about to call her daddy, holy fuck, you wanted her fuckin’ kids—

“c’mere.” and fuck, you jumped her bones so quick. 

you were finally in her lap and you immediately started grinding on her leg like a cat in heat. 

she hurriedly sat the pipe on her dashboard, her free hands quickly taken in yours, bringing them up to your tits as you felt her squeeze them, tossing your head back with a whine.

“yeah? feels fucking good?” 

“yeah, yesyesyes—“

you weren’t even high and you were so close to cumming, you couldn’t imagine how crazy you’d be going if you smoked properly. you’d probably be creaming all over her seats and windows by now. 

you grinded down harder on her, your clit bumping up against your lavender sweats and her jeans and toned leg and you couldn’t stop crying out and oh, you were gonna cum in your panties—

ellie must’ve sensed it because she dropped her hands from your tits to your hips, mindfully avoiding your freshly wrapped tattoo(she’s such a sweetie, isn’t she?), and pulled you down onto her leg as she lifted it up to press harder against your clit just right and you lost it. 

all that tension that built over the last two hours crashed into you as you threw your head allll the back and came inside your sheer little panties. you bounced on her thigh as she held your hips to help you grind out your high. ellie slowly licked up your exposed throat to your chin to your bottom lip before she shoved her tongue into your mouth in a messy, wet kiss. fuck, you were so in love already—

“take these off, baby, c’mon, wanna see,” she said dazed against your mouth, tugging down  the waistband of your bottoms. you clumsily rested your weight against her wheel as you leaned back, a loud honk! ringing through the dimly lit, empty lot. it made you both jump and laugh as she wrapped her arm around your back to move you away from it. she used the space between you to pull down your panties and sweats just enough to expose your sopping cunt. she looked like she wanted to tear you apart. she could rip you to shreds if she wanted you’d let her do anything to you—

she didn’t say anything as her thumb rubbed your clit, making you buck your hips up against her hang with a whine. 

she dipped two fingers down to your slit that was practically dripping all over her seats, and she hates herself for not bringing her dick with her because, fuuuuck, she would’ve slipped right in—

you felt her fingers push inside with little resistance, her car immediately being filled with both your groans and wet noises of your cunt. your walls squeezed the shit out of her fingers to pull them in closer.

you were a mess: at some point you’d removed your sweatshirt and tee, your tits out, and she was watching you play them, entranced, until you slipped a hand down to where she was inside you, grabbing her wrist to pull out and brought her slicked up fingers to your nipples, rubbing your wetness into your stiff peaks. ellie let out a quiet groan of shiiiit! before she slapped them both, bringing her head forward to suck the wetness from your tits, moaning at the taste of you.

she dropped her hand back down to slip her fingers inside your cunt again, wiggling them around until she pressed up against that one spot that made you see god—

“yeah? right there, baby? like that?” 

“ye—aaAhh, el, oh my fuckin’ god your gonna make me cum again!—“ 

“fuckin’ want it, nasty fucking slut, give it to me, wan’ it all over me.” 

your eyes were rolled into your skull, yes im your slut i’m your slut! being the only thing on your mind. your legs were trembling and you were so. fucking. wet. and you couldn’t fucking think about anything other than her her her—

“cum on my fingers so i can take you upstairs and stick my tongue inside you.” 

and you died. you’re dead now. you screamed her name out into the car as you squirted all over her arm and jeans and seats and you just kept fucking cumming and ellie swore that she was going to marry you one day!—

you finally started to come down after she slapped your pussy a couple times. your orgasm had felt like it lasted minutes and you almost plopped onto the car floor in exhaustion, but ellie caught you before you could, pulling you back to her chest to connect her mouth with yours in a heavy kiss. 

she grabbed your ass in both hands before bringing her hand down in a loud slap! as you moaned in her mouth, and it made her hit you again, harder. 

she allowed you to pull back to regain your composure before you said with a pout, “i have to be up at five tomorrow.” it was almost midnight. 

she laughed loudly before bringing your panties and pants back up around your waist before helping you put your shirt on before easing you back into the passenger's seat. you missed her warmth already. you grabbed your tote off the floor after carefully placing the discarded pipe and lighter into a small pocket with a soft c’mon before you opened the door to get out. ellie rolled the window down so she could respond. 

“wait. you want me to come inside?” 

“inside me? yeah.” 

she let out a choked laugh before she said, “you’re nasty as fuck, jesus christ.” 

“i sure am! now come sit on my face? my roomie’s sleeping so you might have to stick my panties in your mouth just in case!” you said with the brightest grin. “you can wake up me up for rehearsals with your tongue in my pussy, too, if you want!” 

oh my fucking god? ellie thought, her eyes glossing over with a hazy look on her face. yeah. i’m making her a fucking housewife.

#ballerina!reader #ellie williams blurb #ellie williams smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #ellie x reader #black!oc #black!reader #lesbian #works 𖧧࣪ #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x black!reader #amitycat #tattooist!ellie ✎ ᝰ

[edalynn]

Lmao I just saw someone claim that people thinking Huntl0w isn't canon is a lack of meta analysis skills, and compared it to people thinking Ra/eda isn't canon. Like, Rae/da cuddled in Eda's nest, and in the timeskip they swapped earrings, which, given Luz wearing Amity's necklace, likely means swapping jewelry is a marriage custom on the Isles (which would mean Luz and Amity are engaged yay). Hunter and Willow are literally just hanging out and being affectionate.

OHHH my god I didn’t even think abt that being a potential marriage custom for the isles omfg… I actually didn’t even notice Luz with Amity’s necklace at first either, but I bet you’re totally right!! Also- I’ve noticed hunt//lows tend to do this speech absorption type thing where they see anti hunt//lows say something (I.e. saying they lack meta analysis skills- with good reason) and they take it and parrot it back kinda like a “no, you!” with no actual substance backing what they’re saying. There are very clear signs and implications that Raine and Eda are in a relationship- the earring swapping, the photos outside Eda’s headmaster office of Raine next to a photo of her kids, etc. Also, Eda LITERALLY kisses Raine all over their face. And Amity & Luz are obviously affectionate, kissing & swapping jewelry. Hunter and Willow “hold hands”, aka Willow leads him by the hand like a normal person, and she puts and arm around him which he returns- and she mirrors that with Gus, too. There are no indications that they’re living together or in any type of relationship like there is with Raeda and Lumity. You would expect, apparently, jewelry swapping, or maybe something in each other’s outfits/designs referencing each other specifically, or photos in the background of them being romantic or on dates, or even them fucking kissing or something, but nope! So really, if anyone lacks analysis skills I think it would be the ones claiming something is there that’s not, not the other way around lmao

#taako talks #asks #toh #toh spoliers #the owl house #huntl0w negative

[mort-the-destroyer]

Sneak Peek for A Twisted Switch!

Despite Apple’s (annoying) tendency to wake up at 6:00am on the dot, she was still sleeping when Raven woke up.

Those drugs must have really knocked her out! She thought to herself.

The room was then flooded with servants and faculty ready to move Apple out and Duchess in. Apple still didn’t wake up, so they had to wrap her up in a blanket like Cleopatra and roll her to her new room.Lizzie wouldn’t be ready for another hour, something about needing her “beauty sleep” or something. It didn’t really matter, as Raven had planned to spend most of her day off in the library studying anyways. The headmaster might scold her, but when wasn’t he on her case?

Entering the library she made sure not to make to much noise as not to disturb the evil step-librarians (she still didn’t know why everyone called them that… they had names after all) and made her way into a nice quiet corner. She mostly avoided books on being evil to prove a point, but today she didn’t really feel like it and began to peruse the selection of evil books. She went to pick out a book, but as she knelt down to grab it from the bottom shelf when she noticed a button camouflaged in between the books.

“Don’t push it Raven” The voice in her head called, “You know that only cheeky little naughty boys press buttons!”

She did know that. She proceeded to press it anyways, because she was a cheeky little naughty boy.

Part of the floor beneath her began to open up, and to Ravens surprise it was hiding a diary.

What was this? Did her naughty boy ways lead her to the answers of her destiny?

Without anymore hesitation she opened it and could not believe her eyes.

“Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back”

Raven gasped! That girl sounds like she looked just liked her!

“and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.”

Raven nodded her head in agreement, Gerald Way was indeed a major fucking hottie.

She kept reading every page, found out about Ebony’s epic romance, how she was a satanist, and most importantly… she wasn’t a fucking prep 🖤.

Lol April Fools! The next chapter probably won’t be out for a couple weeks but I have started!

#april fools #ever after high #eah #a twisted switch

[missmeasured]

SOTS Ch 29 Merry Christmas Darling

We are having an usually early snow in Toronto right now, perfect weather for editing and posting another Hogwarts Christmas Party chapter. I love making these mirrored Chapters but when I look at the first one and the second one I have to wonder what has really changed for our narrator and Severus? They've exchanged I love you's now. But what else had changed?

The Stars on the Staircase Chapter 29 - Merry Christmas Darling

Read on Ao3 or Wattpad

What do show in the preview this week? How about the whole beginning when Severus crashes the party? Okay? Okay!

With absolutely no students at Hogwarts over the holidays for the first time ever and with the Carrows having abandoned the school the moment their prey was gone, Flitwick planned to have an excellent Christmas party to try and dust off the grey dread that bathed us all. It was to be in his room, and Snape was most definitely not on the guest list.

Step one of this plan had been to find a home for every single student for Christmas break. The initial sign up sheet for staying at school for the break had contained less than ten names so I easily dispensed those students. I facilitated conversations between them and classmates or I wrote to parents and suggested they tell their children to invite their friend to stay for the Holiday. As I expected most students’ parents were happy to offer this and it was easily remedied.

Filius and I decorated his room the way we normally would the entire castle. It was all sparkling lights and baubles. I found a muggle CD player and her stack of Christmas music in Charity’s room in a cupboard. As a kind of a fuck you to the death eaters we charmed her appliance to work, playing her series of muggle Christmas music. We tested it with the help of my unofficial muggle born club members who explained how it should theoretically work. I figured out a spell that made it run with their help. The music was quite enjoyable so we decided to use it for the party.

I had made myself a skimpy little dress, deep glittery burgundy for Christmas. It has a fitted bodice that shows off my breasts, tiny shoulder straps, and the skirt fabric wrapped around my hips to great effect. We all felt we might die any day, so I needed something to feel alive. My tiny dress felt fun and exciting, especially because after the party I had made plans to appear in the Headmaster’s office.

The party is underway now, and all the staff are here except the obviously uninvited. Filius and I are trying our best to coax the staff out of their carefully curated quiet reserve of these last few months and get them dancing. Filius extended his legs by magic. He always made great fanfare about doing so, it made his proportions very funny. He was all leg and had to be careful when we were dancing not to sweep my legs out from under me with his knees.

We are dancing very performatively to coax everyone out of their shells, calling people out by name and demanding they join us. Hagrid is too big to really dance but he offers his huge hand to give the librarian a spin as they sway in place. There’s a song about dancing around a Christmas tree so Filius charms one of the smaller trees to do its own little dance. It moves to the middle of the room and spins while we move around it. He twirls me until I can’t spin anymore. When Filius takes me in his arms we are sort of laughing and hugging more than dancing. The effort of trying to make everyone merry had an effect of accidentally making us merry. Acting it until we had become it.

As we turned around the dance floor I breathed in in shock as I saw the doorway fill with the black billowing robes of our headmaster. He hadn’t told me he was crashing when I had confirmed the details of the party. I had told him my plans to join him after I could reasonably slip away, but Filius was acting as host this year and therefore I had a certain amount of best friending to do for this party.

The room quieted immediately as he entered. Those of us on the dance floor moving slowly, not wanting to outright grind to a halt at his presence. Just because he was uninvited does not mean “we” had to stop our fun. Not that I was personally perturbed by him being here.

He had a large stack of gifts that he was levitating beside him which he placed under the tree. He moved slowly around the room, the conversations whispered under everyone’s breath now that he was here. Everyone was openly staring at him, myself included as I watched him circle around the outer edge. Professor Vector practically ran away from him when he looked like he might open his mouth to speak as he passed her at the refreshment table.

Suddenly he moved onto the dance floor, I probably felt extremely tense in my dance partner’s arms. “Filius, I see you are in the middle of a dance with our assistant professor here, but I wonder if I could beg Headmaster’s privilege and cut in? This one owes me a dance and I have no wish to overstay my welcome.” Severus is looking more at me than Filius as he asks.

Filius looks to me and I nod before he reluctantly steps away. He is clearly annoyed but he does not say what he has on his mind as he removes his extended legs and goes back to the table where we left our drinks, but I can almost see the steam coming out of his ears at his party being crashed. “Severus. What are you doing?” I ask in my head as my secret lover moves toward me in front of everyone. The song changes and the next one is slower. Severus pulls me in close immediately. I try to push him back “Too close!” I protest in my mind. Is he trying to break our cover?

“Let me be the bad man they think I am. Earn some of their ire for once.” He answers in my head as his hand expands across my bare back, securing me closely against his chest. He steers me to where I cannot see the faces of our colleagues. I am facing the windows. “You look positively sinful in that dress.” He murmurs into my ear as he pulls me into a slow rotation.

“Thank you, Headmaster.” I reply stiffly. “What are you doing here?” I ask him in my mind. “You are crashing a party you know you are not invited to.” When we rotate I take the chance to glance around at the other teacher’s tight mouths, their eyes full of anger or concern. I make a face that I hope says “I don’t know what’s happening” but not so panicked as to make them think I require rescue, as truthfully, I want this dance.

“I came to deliver gifts to everyone. It’s easier this way. I’ll leave after this dance.” He promises. There’s something too heady about being in his arms surrounded by twinkling lights. I can barely handle it. How am I supposed to act like I don’t want this?

We can’t really talk so I find myself hearing the words of the song, and the music makes a lump in my throat. I feel my eyes start to water with all the years of Christmases spent apart stacked up beside this kind of torn apart togetherness we had now.

“None of that, please dearest.” He whispers and as if to draw me out of my reverie, when I’m not expecting it his hand slides down my back to grab my behind. I have to move it back up and act affronted, which I am. There’s not a chance in hell they didn’t all see it.

“Could you stop? Filius is turning red.” I mutter, wiping at the corner of my eye as errant water tries to escape.

“You had better leave that dress on when you come upstairs.” He returns, the soft rumble of his voice in his chest is so close to my ears that all my hairs stand on end. I wonder if I will ever be used to being close to him in front of other people.

“I had better? Or what? I shall receive coal in my stocking?”

“I’m glad we finally got to have this Christmas party dance. Even if it was almost eight years in the making. We have one thing left to do over again. Look up.”

I glance up. Mistletoe. The regular non-violent kind, they had apparently retired the use of the grabbing sort after our incident. “Don’t you dare!” I mentally protest but he suddenly moves my body, taking me off my own centre of balance. He has the weight of me, and is dipping me as if it’s just a part of the dance but one of his hands is on the back of my head.

“Struggle a little. Give them a good show. Something to gossip about when I’m gone.” He thinks as he tips me and I do struggle a bit instinctively, as he did not warn me he was about to tip me over. “Merry Christmas, darling.” He says quietly to me before he kisses me. Time slows down, I am too aware of how much I want this kiss but also how I need to be acting in front of everyone. Should I slap him when he releases me?

I hope shock is an appropriate reaction for the character I’m playing because I really can't find my fighting instinct. After I’m back on my feet and steady he whispers “Until later,” into my ear. Then he turns on his heel and is gone before I can even register my thoughts.

Continue reading on Ao3 or Wattpad

#The Stars on the Staircase #SOTS #missmeasured #severus snape fanfiction #severus x reader #severus snape fic #severus snape #professor snape #professor severus snape #snapedom #snape love #pro snape #snape community #snaddy #Youtube

[thegreatobsesso]

Word find game: eat, drink, write, and wash

I was tagged by @winterandwords this time :D

eat

Simon POV

“Whatever, listen, you don’t even see how good this is.” Callie rearranged herself in a sudden burst of energy, slinging one leg over the arm of the chair. “This is what you do: you just start dating Ash. Like, super casual. That’ll make Flora jealous, and then she’ll want you back. See? You can have your cake and eat it too.”

She made jazz hands, and he stared at her. “Ta da!”

“Wow,” he said.

“I know, right?”

“No, that wasn’t complimentary.”

Her expression deflated. “I’m just trying to help,” she said. “You’re kinda clueless with women.”

“Yeah, and you’ve got them all figured out. Your last one-night stand worked out great.”

Her eyes went wide, and then she huffed and turned away from him, hugging her mug against her chest. “That was low, Bennett,” she complained. “Really low.”

drink x2

Callie POV

“And I know just as surely that you don’t belong in prison,” he said, surprising her with the abrupt switch in subject matter. “I see you every day, trying. Growing. You’re a good person. I don’t even think you see it, and you sure as hell don’t let anybody else see it either.” He fished around for something in his desk drawer. “I’d never know it if it wasn’t for the bridge. And that makes me sad, and it makes me wanna fight for you.”

She wanted to ask him why, but he couldn’t possibly put it any clearer. “You’re a dumb fuck,” she said instead.

He pulled out a heavy-looking decanter and set it on the desk with a clunk. Whatever was inside looked like something he didn’t normally drink and something she definitely would, although she’d drink gasoline in the right mood.

“Back at you,” he said with a weary attempt at a grin, plopping two glasses down in front of her.

write

Simon POV

“You’re an amazing kid,” he said, hoping his honesty carried. Above their heads, models of planets and moons turned slowly on their strings. “You seem… well, you’re well-anchored, and that’s extraordinary, given how much you’ve been shuffled around. And that’s why this has to be a secret, at least for now. Because what happened twelve years ago isn’t a secret, it’s something people all over are interested in, and Callie is…”

How to explain it to Grace?

“Famous for being a bad person?” she suggested.

Maybe he should take the child on as a speech writer. She boiled things down that eluded him completely. “Yeah,” he nodded.

wash

Simon POV

Flora startled. “What are you doing?”

“Taking it.” He broke into Angela’s mind, found the source of the pain - it was easy, all-encompassing, everything. He put his power around it and pulled it into himself.

Someone called his name as an expression of surprise. Flora gripped his shoulder. These were things he dimly registered as the rolling fire washed over his nerve endings. He dropped his head to the clean white sheets and held the girl’s hand.

“Headmaster Bennett?” Her young voice, frightened. Already understanding where the pain had gone. He swallowed against it and lifted his head.

“I’m fine,” he choked. He wouldn’t believe himself but the pain was merciless and it was all he could manage. If he let go, she’d feel it again instead of him. He held on. “Don’t worry. It’s gonna be alright.”

Tagging @writeblrfantasy, @avrablake, @pertinax--loculos, @afoolandathief and @adie-dee with the new words: music, paint, draw and create :)

#oc: callie #oc: simon #oc: flora #oc: grace #tag game #writing snippets #my WIP #tw: language #tw: sex mention #tw: prison

[shummashum]

Zeus Brundle Ch7 [11~15]

woah she passed~ but I'm kinda unimpressed

they're trying to talk about something again very sus

Leaving the two who gave off such a suspicious atmosphere in the Headmaster's office, Liz went out into the hallway. She's not trying to eavesdrop this time (fortunately).

why are you so upset,,,,,,,,,,,, it's not like you you're simplicity king aren't you aren't you the type of person who gets angry easily and calms down easily I'll tell her to apologize for speaking unpleasantly to you earlier relax and calm down please?

what wait you're just passing him what oi where are you going

erm cool off calm down already why on earth are you doing this why get yourself together please??

em you know, I chose you she just changed my choices on her own I did nothing wrong it's her arbitrary action

take it fucking take it what on earth is in your head just take it already

hah for crying out loud I can't understand her

okay, let's sort out the situation

First of all, Liz got pissed off when she saw the cookie scene. Zeus must have been upset as well because, from his pov, she was getting annoyed at him out of nowhere while he hadn't done anything. And when Zeus teased her by asking her if she wanted to know about the cookie scene that much, Liz got pissed off for the second time. In the aftermath of being pissed off + the attitude that he knew she would choose him, Liz chose Klaus, so now Zeus was pissed off for the second time. He was pissed off and he got angry at her, so Liz got pissed off for the third time.

what the hell was Liz Hart like this kind of character the Liz I saw in previous seasons was a naive but positive queen, not this kind of picky girl huh…what

what the fuck is this what's happening now is her sanity okay looks like she failed her sanity roll and went into temporary insanity

that's it temporarily insane there's no other way to explain this situation she failed the sanity roll in the cookie scene earlier but succeeded INT roll, and she went into temporary insanity after understanding the situation this is it now I understand

oh well it's fucking crisis we're fucked dammit how do we normalize this atmosphere I can't I can't do this you fucking do something about it it's all your fault!!

why high INT status is not always a good thing when playing coc.png now she succeeded INT roll again and is about to take emo~tional da~maged

That's how the sacrament of penance began.

what should I do, you say apologize to him of course I'm telling you to crawl up to him tomorrow and offer a sincere apology, doing dogeza or something just apologize don't you know about what is apology

oh god dammit apologize already before considering a confession why are you thinking about that now isn't it right to first consider apologizing for what you did wrong am I wrong

you think this is now the time for relationship counseling there's some kind of magic note in this WH sekai, at least try sending it

Just then, Hiro appeared with the sound of a window being tapped.

this guy goes in and out of the girls' dorm like it's his front yard

Anyway, she followed him outside.

you got it right it's her fault

is it my illusion or delusion that his affection for him is dripping from those words I'm scared of him he came without Zeus telling him to, he was just worried about him damn he might be shouting bss countless times in his heart right now no stop such romantic-centered thinking is not good

She at least realized her feelings to him. Finally.

hah dammit if Hiro was a girl I might be a sucker for Zeus×Hiro childhood friend (I heard so) + master-servant relationship + an indifferent human being who calms down a mad dog dammit……… there is nothing but delicious elements why is that Hiro guy a man why the world is cruel

Anyway, after gathering her thoughts, Liz headed to the Night Class to tell her feelings to Zeus. Let's fucking go

but now that I think about it, did she decide 'I like him' after just a week huh it's not good at all

-Ch7 End-

#shumma plays wh

[askjamessirius]

F*ck Da Headmaster

I’m standing in the common room and I’m holding a red cup

and everyone else joined in!

You know that like “I served my nickel, you come and take me” confidence

So Albus Dumbledore walked into the common room

He was like

And then he leaned over his shoulder and went

We all ran in different directions

Queer Cosplay Everyday of Pride Month

Day 12: Nymphadora Tonks

based off of this bit by John Mulaney

#queer cosplay everyday of pride month #whew this one took quite a bit to compile so thats why its so late but it is still the 12 so ha #also i know that amos and tonks werent at hogwarts together but i had to cause of cedric #nymphadora tonks #john mulaney #nymphadora tonks rp #amos diggory #amos diggory rp #hp rp #hp rp community #harry potter #harry potter rp #threads #fuck da headmaster

[worminstuff]

mcyts as teachers

in my brain. lol. thisisjustmyopiniondontattakpls

dream smp edition!!!

i got way to carried away HOLY

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Mr.Wastaken - math

he’s that one math teacher dude whos friends with all his students

funky👏tys👏 and👏 button ups👏

somehow teaches everything so everyone understands

the students won’t bully eachother if he bully’s them first.

everyone does their work and then when everyone is done and just chillin, he’ll tell a story or just talk to them

Mr.Blade - english

he’s that english teacher that if you ask the right question they’ll go on a tangent and you’ll get to not do work for like 30 minutes minimum.

Mr.Blade seems mean but is super sweet to his students. (especially the quiet ones)

never makes them do presentations

Mr.Jacobs - history

is 100% best friends with his students.

so many handshakes

Mr.Karl is literally the best dressed teacher there is and is so nice to all his students. he is easy going on grading but is a tad hard on late work.

totally doesn’t sneak off to kiss coach sapnap sometimes

Mr. Quack - spanish

HOLA NIÑOS

gets so hyped with his students.

kahoot kahoot kahoot sm kahoot

Mr.Quacks class is the one everyone hopes they get and constantly looks forward to. thinks like baking spanish food, watching spanish soap operas, and many more fun ways Mr.Quack has thought of to show them different aspects of spanish culture

Mrs. Nihachu - art

the classroom the kids with anxiety sit in during lunch

gives her students hugs whenever they need them

has art her students have made for her all over her classroom walls and desk

drawer full of candy

Coach Sapnap & Coach Punz - PE

LETS GOOOOOOOO

so scary. they are so so scary.

also the sweetest somehow.

the duo is always constantly trying to create new games to keep students active and they work hard to make sure everyone is happy and being included if they want to, or have an alternative if they don’t.

they play in team games like kickball and get HELLA competitive, it makes for a whole lot of fun inside jokes between them and their students.

the smack talk- holy-

Mr.Fundy - furry science- jk. biology

the👏most👏fun👏science👏teacher

every time they have labs he wears a funky lab coat and goggles

his students make fun of him and he loves it

is a tough grader but makes the class easy and makes it a comfy place so kids won’t be scared to ask questions when they need

electives:

Mr.Notfound - engineering

he’s the type of teacher to put up a video on days he’s tired

actually really enjoys bantering with students, and is super lenient with how much they can talk during classes

a lot of his work is hands on so there’s many bits and bobbles around his room and it’s always a mess

“you’ll need the stuff for the soddering machines but i’m not actually sure where they are...”

the students are well aware that class is WAY more fun when Mr.Notfound is in a good mood.

Mr.Wastaken drops by when he has free periods cause he loves to annoy visit Mr.Notfound

Teacher Eret - sociology

his room is the safe space where you go if you need a good hug or a good cry

kids also eat lunch here

memes on da walls and things hanging from the ceiling

talks with his hands and laughs with the students when they mock him and do it when he does

“TEACHER ERET! you will not believe what sarah did!!” “tell me right now!”

Mr.Dude - comp. science

is always asking students how they feel like they’re doing

brings lunches for students he notices not having any

“snack break anyone?” opened drawer full of goldfish

stands in the hallways during passing time so he can watch out for his kiddos and make sure no ones being mean to anyone

high-fives all the time constantly

Mr.Soot - drama

literally so dramatic all the time for no reason

relentless hamilton references

he’s the type of drama teacher to adore his students and have them adore him back. he loves hearing all the unique ideas and loves to watch kids grow into their shell as they take his class

his favorite thing is watching quiet kids learn they love acting and become more confident

students share their own scrips and plays they write and he absolutely melts every time

Mr.Shlatt - political science

the teacher that everyone tries to get mad cause it’s funny

starts arguments between students because he loves to watch kids grow into their opinions and learn to debate with others

teaches them how to win arguments and it blows up in his face cause they start using his tactics against him

Mr. Halo - self defense

no 🚫 swearing 🚫 zone

gives the biggest hugs to kids that seem sad

he teaches in mostly talking ways where he explains everything but he also loves demonstration lessons

he always has kids talking to him about other teachers that may annoy them or have given them a bad grade because Mr.Halo always has their back

Mr.Skeppy - money management

he’s that one teacher that isn’t really close with his students but every once in a while he’ll get a group of kids that he enjoys and it makes the class a lot more fun

pizza party after tests if everyone passes

actually holds meme contests for literally no reason

Mr.H - hospitality

has whiteboard desks in his class cause he is THAT cool

is always asking kids what the drama is atm cause he wants to be in the know

has holiday party’s in class for EVERY holiday. if you have him as a teacher you’ll be celebrating every holiday for however long you have him. he just lives for a good party.

also has a snack drawer

Mr.Frost - horticulture

shelves and shelves of plants. gives his fav students ones to take home

literally the sweetest teacher, every student understands you can not be rude to Mr.Frost it’s just criminal to do so

another huggy teacher. he just loves his kiddos with his whole heart

the least amount of work for a class out of all of them

he’s definitely that teacher thay takes his class outside every chance they get, and the students l o v e it

staff:

Mr.Minecraft -headmaster/principal

he’s the reason the school has like 0 REAL trouble makers.

everyone’s scared of him, but only because they don’t want to disappoint him.

he creates the best rallies and makes school events fantastic

100% dances at school dances sometimes

Mrs.Puffy - councilor

everyone adores her. even other teachers.

she councils Mr.Wastaken when he needs dating advice. *cough cough* Mr.Notfound *cough cough*

literally 3 drawers full of snacks.

is the founder of their schools GCA and it’s the best thing

let’s kids skip class in her office when they have a panic attack or are to anxious to go

had to have a chat with Coach Sapnap because of how many kids were coming from his PE class having panic attacks (he felt really bad, he’s just intense sometimes)

loves to sit in on Mr.Quackitys classes

Teacher callahan - substitute

he subs in sometimes and when students find out Teacher callahan is subbing that day they freak the fuck out

so much kahoot

how can one man start such party’s without speaking a word

terrorizes Mr Wastakens classes when he can and LOVES to pop in on the PE classes especially when they’re doing something wicked fun and he feels like beating sapnap at something

#dreamsmp #dreamteam #dreamwastaken #dream team fanfic #dream smp #badboyhalo #dream fanfic #sapnap #/rp dreamsmp #dreamsmp school au #callahan #nihachu #hbomb #antfrost #skeppy #karl jacobs #punz #captain puffy #fundy #wilbursoot #philza #eret #quackity

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if Voldemort was caught in a time loop from say, his resurrection through the battle of Hogwarts?

He has an absolutely miserable time.

Loop 1

So, first, some thoughts on Tom Riddle and his demise. At that point, I think he was pretty much committing suicide. He was done, with everything, and with everyone.

And then he wakes up, if you can even call it waking up. He's suddenly in agony, every bit of him aches, and it feels like he's been stuffed into a body that just doesn't work. That's because he has, he's been resurrected in the graveyard in a homunculus body.

And there's Harry Potter, again, like always.

And Tom Riddle has to do this all over again.

Suddenly, he just doesn't have the energy for the Voldemort get up. He doesn't summon his followers, doesn't murder Harry or Cedric, he just leaves to get himself a drink. Probably doesn't work because I doubt that body can consume alcohol.

Barty is caught and put to death.

"My Lord, what are your plans?" Pettigrew asks nervously, Tom thinks about summoning the Death Eaters, about breaking Bella and the others out of prison, but he's just so tired.

Plus, most of them die anyway, and the ones that don't probably go on to live worthless lives or else were erased out of existence. Tom goes, "Eh" and continues drinking.

This leads to hilarious events as Dumbledore is still preaching up and down that Voldemort has returned except... now there really is 0 evidence. Dumbledore is accused of tampering with the goblet: the theory being he kidnapped Cedric and Harry, cast some illusion to make them think Voldemort has returned, and is now using them as mouth pieces so that he can oust Fudge and put in his own puppet/run himself. Everyone just feels sort of bad for Harry and Cedric, Harry becoming increasingly pissed off.

Harry also occasionally has the weird dream of Tom Riddle being utterly wasted and hating life. He's sure he's learning something very important!

Regardless, because Tom no longer even cares about the prophecy or even punishing Lucius, there's no scheme to get it: Lucius would just fuck it up anyways. As a result there's no battle at the ministry, Sirius lives, but the government does not discover that Voldemort's been resurrected.

Instead, Dumbledore is arrested for planning a coup and training child soldiers, as Harry still sets up the DA. Tom, when he hears the news from Snape, thinks this is utterly hilarious.

Tom decides to continue his plan of doing nothing, seems to get better results than whenever he does try to do anything.

There's a giant trial that is the most corrupt thing in every way imaginable for Albus Dumbledore. And it's filled with such hot gossip. Everything comes out: hiring Hagrid as a professor despite his complete lack of credentials/all the injured children, all the debacles going on under Dumbledore's control, the DA, and Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald.

Dumbledore tries to insert his own people into the trial to get him out but the ministry's doing the same thing. Seeing that it's tied, Tom tries to influence on the sidelines to get Dumbledore thrown in jail, because it'd be funny.

Well, he's not thrown in jail, but he is dismissed as Headmaster. But Minerva inherits the position and immediately makes Dumbledore Honored Advisor, and Headmaster in all but name. Tom can't even.

Dumbledore starts horcrux hunting in earnest, ruins his hand and sentences himself to death, and starts prepping Harry for his task. Tom, meanwhile, still isn't doing anything.

The horcrux hunt happens, Harry thinking this is all very important, except at the very end of it... He can't find Tom Riddle. How can he kill Voldemort if he can't even find the guy? Snape would help, except he doesn't know where to find the guy either: Tom decided to take a vacation to France and has yet to come back.

The day of the battle occurs and...

Loop 2

Tom's back in the graveyard.

He lets out a very long sigh.

God, this is just going to be forever, isn't it? When he said he wanted to be immortal, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

Tom decides he has to do something about this, because this is just silly now.

He spends the next several loops researching what the hell is even happening to him and if this is a consequence of soul shenanigans. No one has any idea, because this never happens to anyone.

Loop N

Tom decides to get reckless. New plan: time turners. All the time turners.

He raids the Department of Mysteries, gets himself a bunch of time turners and... undoubtedly makes things worse.

Likely, his entire current situation is due to the fact that Tom[N] decided to use time turners to solve his problems. This created the situation in the first place, and now he's stuck in loops forever.

Tom finds a note somewhere: "Tom, don't use the time machine! - Love Tom" and just dies inside.

Loop N + 1

At some point Tom just legitimately stops caring and does whatever the hell he wants. This is just how his existence works now, he is a mayfly who lives forever, only a few short years until he loops again.

I imagine he dedicates himself to trying to figure out how to stop looping and get himself into a body that doesn't suck. Anything else is just kind of pointless.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #tom riddle #voldemort #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #meta #headcanon #opinion

[ivyaugustetc]

the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcannons #todd anderson #neil perry #gerard pitts #charlie dalton #nuwanda #knox overstreet #steven meeks #stephen meeks #richard cameron #james stuchelli #ginny danburry #chris noel

[phoenixresistance]

The Phoenix Resistance - Chapter 5

Hogwarts Express, British Countryside - September 1st, 1997

Students braced against the seats as the brakes squealed and the train came to an abrupt halt. Whispers circulated around the quiet cabin, inquiring voices wondering why they had stopped.

“What the fuck? I just spilled my pumpkin juice all over myself!” “Have we broken down?” “Ow I smashed my face into the wall” “Hey look! Is that someone coming aboard?” “Of course not, idiot. Who would just be out here in the middle of nowhere in the countryside??”

The voices were hushed as three large shadowy cloaked figures entered the cabin, eyes scanning the students one by one.

“My father WILL hear about this!” Protested McLaggen as they advanced up the ally.

“Hey losers. He isn’t here.” Neville Longbottom called out, standing up out of his seat in defiance.

“Well you wouldn’t mind if we didn’t take a child’s word for it and checked ourselves, would you?” He sneered as he approached Neville, pushing him back in his seat with the end of his wand and then ushering to the other two to continue searching the train.

“What’s your deal? You can see he isn’t here. Why would he be? That would be fucking stupid.” Aimee Alice stood up from her seat across from Neville.

“Oooh look I’m a big scary Death Eater! I threaten children to feel powerful because my Ma never gave me attention!” She mocked with a laugh before her vision was suddenly rocked by a punch to the face.

“Clearly nobody taught you to hold your tongue in the presence of your superiors. What’s your name again?” He inquired, taking a look at a list of names he produced from his robes.

“Aimee Alice isn’t it? You have a Muggle father if I’m not mistaken. I would be very careful if I were you.” The Death Eater sneered down at her.

Wiping her busted lip with her sleeve, Aimee straightened up and matched his glare, inches from his face. Her eyes burned with hatred and never wavered or blinked. However, she doesn’t speak. Instead, after a few seconds and an incessant tug on her sweater by Ginny, she slowly sunk back down into her seat.

Turning back to address the rest of the cabin as his companions returned, he raised his voice. “Harry Potter is wanted by the Ministry. He is dangerous and must be taken care of for everyone’s safety. If anyone knows the location of Mr. Potter or his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, you will be generously rewarded.”

“Furthermore, we would greatly appreciate anyone who will turn in any Muggleborns. Their thievery and deception of magic will not be tolerated and I’m sure you wouldn’t want them attending your school, falsely masquerading as fine young wizards, such as yourselves.” He finished with a judgemental downward glance at Aimee.

With one last scan of the cabin the three men reluctantly turned and left the train, disappearing into the afternoon sky in jets of sickly black smoke.

Once they were sure they had left, Neville harshly whispered across the table towards Aimee. “Are you TRYING to get snatched? This isn’t some schoolyard fight anymore. You could die if you aren't careful.”

“Tell that to yourself. Was “losers” the best insult you could come up with? It was pathetic.” She scoffed jokingly. “Anyways, never mind that. What have we come up with so far?”

“At the feast tonight we will spread word to the DA. Luna, Seamus, Mariko, Aaron and anyone else who will listen. We will use the room of requirement as our base. First thing, I’ll get Nigel to set up the radio equipment and tune in to Potterwatch. We’ll need the news to keep updated.” Neville replied quietly.

“I’ve got a cousin who works in the hospital wing. Azazil Bane. If Snape is headmaster now, I bet the school will be crawling with those Death Eater bastards. Clearly they don’t mind hurting us kids. I’ll see if he will help smuggle us some supplies. Bandages and potions.” She interjected. “It’ll be risky though.. he has… a sort of condition that lets people know when he’s lying.”

“It’s worth the risk. Ginny, do you have anything else to add?”

“Over the summer Fred and George told me where most of the secret passages are and where they lead, if I can remember them all. We can use them to get around.”

“Fantastic. Oh, have you guys heard about that mysterious newspaper that has appeared in the last few weeks?” He added.

“Yea. From what I’ve heard, it’s just a blank parchment unless you are given access. It has no name or author. The only identifying mark is a symbol of a Phoenix. Everyone I’ve heard talking about it just calls it The Phoenix Paper.” Aimee responded excitedly.

“I’ve heard talk that the author is going to also send the news through Potterwatch. Just as well, I doubt we could ever get our hands on the paper all the way out here at Hogwarts.” He grumbled.

“It also apparently bursts into flame every midnight and a new issue is printed every single day.”

“Ingenious. Though I’d hate to be the poor sod who is holding it when it goes.” Neville joked.

“Maybe we should get our hands on it. We could put it under nasty Snapes pillow. I bet his hair would go up like a Guy Fawkes effigy.” Laughed Ginny.

The tense situation eased up for a while as they laughed and continued to come up with pranks they could unleash on the new Headmaster of Hogwarts. However, with every clunk of the train, it was hard to push away the thought that with every passing second they got closer and closer to their last year at Hogwarts. They should be worrying about exams and planning their future. Instead, here they sit, planning a dangerous rebellion they never asked for and wondering if they will live to even see their future.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #the phoenix resistance #tpr #aimee alice #neville longbottom #ginny weasley #harry potter #harry potter hogwarts mystery #chapter 5

[sleeppaw]

Why I have largely dropped out of the HP Fandom

The toxic fandom, specifically, fans of certain characters.

Snape Apologists: Professor Severus Snape was quite abusive to any student that wasn’t a Slytherin. He tried to poison Neville Longbottom’s pet, bullied Neville (To the point that Neville’s boggart was Snape himself), allowed the Carrows to torture students as Headmaster, called Lily and other muggleborns “Mudbloods”, joined the Death Eaters and was a hypocrite when Tonks changed her Patronus to match Remus Lupin’s.

Draco Apologists: No, Draco was not a “Golden hearted boy”. He called Hermione a “Mudblood”, cursed Neville, tried to kill Katie Bell, body shamed Molly Weasley and made fun of Cedric Diggory’s death (In the last chapter of “Goblet of Fire”, Draco burst into Harry’s Compartment and sneers “It will be Mudbloods and muggle-lovers that will go first, well, second, Diggory was the fi-”)

Hermione Fans: Now, this is going to be controversal as I too, like Hermione, and I know she is quite flawed, but the Hermione Fans worship her and thinks she is the hero of the story.

The Character Bashing:

Cho Chang: I admit, I used to hate her until after re-reading “Order of the Phoenix”, and I started to feel sorry for her. Most of the haters think “Cho’s just a whiny crybaby” when in actual fact, her boyfriend had been murdered by Lord Voldemort (Don’t forget she was 15-16 when Cedric was murdered). “Cho betrayed Dumbledore’s Army” when in actual fact it was Marietta Edgecombe that gave the DA away to Umbridge, and then was stated to have “Married a Muggle man” after the Battle of Hogwarts. If I was the author, I would have given Cho the following: Have her actual name be “Chloe”, with “Cho” as a nickname, give her a few more interests (Maybe have her being interested in Muggle life, prehaps make her good at writing); I would imagine, in an AU, Cho and Cedric lived peacefully in the country and Cho becoming a famous author, and have Cho get at least a mention in an Epilogue (Maybe in the form of a letter or something)

Gatekeeping:

People would bash you if you draw characters differently from how the fandom thinks they should look like or if you like a certain ship.

Shippers:

Harmony Shippers: In the books, Harry states that “Hermione is like a sister to me” and in the sixth book, Hermione was jealous of Ron when he dated Lavender that she started dating Gryffindor Cormac McLaggen out of spite

Dramione Shippers: This is the Klato of the Harry Potter fandom, and like Klato, Draco and Hermione disliked each other (”Klato” is a Shipping name in The Hunger Games Fandom which ships Cato and Katniss together).

Snape/Hermione Shippers: NO. NO. NO. FUCK NO!!! *Vomits* (Sorry for the swearing, but I draw the line at paedophilia ships)

I still like the books (Though not as much as I used to), but I hate the fandom. With a few exceptions, every single character is problematic

#sleepy's rants #tw: swearing #cho chang #Anti-Harry Potter fandom #cho deserves better #She's basically cast aside #Once her plotline is over #Seriously #she was a teenager when her boyfriend died #Anti-Harmony Shippers #Anti-Dramione Shippers #They're the Klato Shippers #Fandom logic 101 #Trying to kill someone is true love #Newsflash: It isn't #Gryffindor fans and Slytherin fans are the worst

[xiaosean]

why you should watch douluo continent

the drama adaptation is such a good rendition of “soul land” and stayed true to the plot line and character development. it was fast-paced (perfect for me) but may be confusing for those who don’t know the story. i personally love the donghua, and i think the drama did an adequate job of portraying everything in their own way 😁 (read at your own discretion; this contains spoilers)

things i liked:

initially, i didn’t like the dreamscape bc wtf is it doing there? why is he hearing his mom’s voice in episode 1 (it just kills the entire momentum of the plot); and then after i got to episode 39... fucking ep. 39, i knew the dreamscape needed to be there in order to save tang san’s life; mr. wang who wrote the script, props to you.

the cgi 🥰✨ i had really low expectations bc if there’s shitty cgi like cql... i wouldn’t be able to handle it. but it’s so good ??? please, i know the ape soul beast was small and funny looking (bc they had to spend money on the water dragon lmao), but other than that, it was so good and how each and every character’s powers were able to shine

le outfits + makeup - they’re not super pale 😭😭😭 finally !!! and the outfits are so nice, SO SO NICE, each and every character holy hell

how they changed hu liena’s (aka. qian renxue) role in the drama --- she’s my fav female antagonist; she’s so good here, her character was annoying at first, but she’s so dynamic and independent, and just wants to impress her mom. you see her helping tang san + his squad during the last 5 eps because SHE CARES about her mom despite her strict upbringing 🥺 her and tang san have a ship name called 糖葫芦 (candied hawthorns) and i think that’s so cute hehe

the seven devils 😂 i loved the seven devils in this adaptation almost as much as i loved them in the donghua; each and every character got their own storyline, they’re not boring nor do they draw attention away from the tang san’s main plot, and you see so much development (esp. in ou sike and dai mubai)

headmaster, da shi, and er long trio! 黄金铁三角 iconic and they captured it so well 😭 they chose the actor for the headmaster so freaking well i’m screaming! he loves money so much and his little facial expressions as a third wheel is everything, the comedic relief! and da shi... i see y’all thirsting over calvin chen okay 😌 he’s so much better in the drama tbh & er long is majestic and amazingly powerful and cunning, i love her !!! and props to luo san pao, the best doggo ever!

the seniors! they basically perfected tang san’s relationship with dugu bo... it was antagonistic at first, but then they became besties over poison 😭❤️ i loved dugu bo’s character in here bc he was so funny & didn’t get social cues LMAO // the ape soul master was brief but he honestly made my day with how much he respected the tang family & how he took care of his father back in the day // 七宝琉璃 squad was also 🥰 (less hot than in the donghua lol) but they also somehow made jian yeye the comedic relief? i love how they’re so accepting of ou sike despite him being a support soul master

tang san’s mom - i can only hear her voice, but she made me cry & i love her for that

tang san ❤️❤️❤️ xiao zhan’s voice over just blended in with his character & it was just so wonderful; tang san in the donghua was smart, so fucking smart, cunning, but the kindest at heart; xiao zhan truly portrayed that and my most memorable part was when da shi said “your only flaw is that you let your emotions get the best of you” (this is so important), and you see him later try to control his emotions and not act rashly, especially when confronted with 时年 & 比比东 --- also crying scenes 11/10

bibi dong powerful, POWERFUL WOMAN, props to her voice actress, i got chills when she said, “你根本没有资格知道” // tang hao, wow he’s just like i imagined, but i wish he was a little more emotional in ep. 1 bc the blue silver plant in tang san is essentially his lover’s martial soul

how the concept of family was generated within the shi lan ke academy squad 🥺 it’s such a feel good drama, istg, makes you so happy when you’re having a bad day ✨

things i didn’t like:

xiao wu’s character portrayal (the scriptwriter’s fault, not xuanyi) // i honestly let it slide for the first 10 episodes bc i usually start falling for a character later on, it’s normal; but drama xiao wu didn’t fulfill the 小舞姐 in my heart 😔 i get that many people like her, but it’s not the same! xiao wu in donghua is beautiful, independent, and outspoken, BUT MOST OF ALL HER LOVE FOR TANG SAN IS OBVIOUS, you don’t need to say “一起去” every other line in the drama; i think this could have been remedied if they stayed true to the storyline and let tang san enter the secret dimension alone, bring the mythical herbs back, and have xiao wu prick herself to activate 相思断肠红 (they completely butchered the significance of the flower i’m so angry; fyi: the flower can only belong to you if your heart loves one person --- there’s the most beautiful backstory to the flower but drama douluo said nah). also, drama xiao wu is so clingy and she started exposing herself from the beginning... no momentum build-up whatsoever 😔 it’s 斗罗大陆, not 斗罗大陆: 小舞传 and sometimes it felt like she was being so insistent on following tang san around, i’m just 😓 

the whole canghui academy scheme --- it was confusing for 10 eps straight until they got to the end of it, but I guess the drama wanted to add that part in because they wanted to focus less on the competition and more on 变异武魂 (the mutated martial souls) in order to defeat bibi dong

how the beginning was so confusing 😫 i wish they just stuck with child tang san remembering his past life as a disciple in tang clan & then learning 玄天宝录 on his own bc that was such a great part of his character development + understanding of soul masters/their weaknesses; and the fact that he would rely less on his parents 

the kiss + confession at ep. 40 // could have done w/o it or even a simple forehead kiss; the confession from tang san was way too quick considering there’s little to no emotional build-up towards that moment (other than bibi dong doing all the work like the queen she is) and there’s no surprise element either? like we’ve been knew she’s a soul beast since ep. 5 🥲 and the kiss was awkward & like i said, sanwu’s love doesn’t need words or actions to confirm... it’s this innate thing that the audience should be able to see (if the scriptwriters focused a little more on BIG plot points that boost the sanwu relationship, then it would have been perfect) ^^ i wish they spent more time on the romantic aspect of the relationship bc even after 30 eps, they seem like siblings when OP said They’re Not.

overall thoughts:

this is purely my opinion, so please take it with a grain of salt! the cons imo were minor except for the development of the sanwu relationship; it doesn’t seem like romance to me 😔 but hopefully it’ll get better in the (maybe) second season when they take some time apart to grow? i’m surprised how much they referenced the original story (characters and such), and i am thoroughly impressed with WHERE THEY ENDED IT, and how they rounded all the new/old plot points together in a way that makes sense. i also don’t hate any of the antagonists, which is why this drama is so lighthearted and easy to watch. it’s not emotionally taxing (sans tang san crying bc xz breaks me heart 😭💕), and safe + enjoyable to watch with family! you’re gonna miss it once it ends, and i think that makes a drama successful 😁 also i’m not gonna go into depth about the mysterious ending bc i might spoil it for those who want to watch the donghua LMAO (but if you want to know my theories, shoot me an ask)

#douluo continent spoilers #SPOILERS TAG RIGHT THERE. #don't say i didn't warn you! #douluo continent #douluo dalu #ruby talks