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tmntxthings · 3 months

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一Holiday Comps・゜・。

author’s notes: so last weekend me & mine decorated our own gingerbread houses, call me inspired ✨

author’s notes 2.0: *sigh* i couldn’t get this done during xmas, so sad, but i want it OUT of my drafts, totally lost the motivation after Donnie’s 😭 forgive meeeeee

warnings: cursing? competitive nature x10, unedited asf it’s 2:00 am rn :3

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Leo

Obviously he would be trying really hard. Because if anything suddenly becomes a competition all this turtle is concerned about is being numero uno.

“We should up the stakes a bit. April! You’ll be the judge, anddddd add in stuff to like throw us off our game. Make it harder! Oooh time limit of 40 minutes?”

He’s like adding shit and making things way more complicated than just a, “Oh cool gingerbread house contest? When everyone finishes the judges can decide who wins!”

No! Nope! Not happening. This will be the X-Games of Gingerbread Comps. Glory or death type shiz. So how does this process that he thrust upon the whole gang work? Well let me just say he has no problem abiding by the time set.

But his house looks messy as hell. He had a very hard time getting the roof to stop collapsing and may have looked over at Donnie to see how he got it done. Icing? Everywhere. He has no problem when one of the challenges was to “Switch hands! Use your least dominant,”

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Though some could argue that it didn’t matter what hand he used, it would have been messy either way. If one challenge was to switch seats and work on a brother’s gingerbread house be ready for a slick sabotage. One that Mikey may not have realized until his own foundation started fumbling, why were the walls caving in?! And what happened to the tree gummies that had been set aside?!

Leo happened, that’s what. Though he is quick to deny and not know the nature of those issues at all. By the end April is video recording to also get Sunita and Cass’s vote. Including Splinter that’s four! One for each turtle if everyone is lucky.

The responses on Leo’s house are making him pace. He can’t stay still as he hears Cass laugh out loud, wondering why the hell his gingerbread man is on the roof. “This one is a bit all over the place but, it’s got personality!” Is the saving comment from Sunita who revives Leo’s confidence in the whole ordeal

In the end I think with the time frame Leo definitely got shit on his house, but it doesn’t look all that pretty, one vote at least!

He’s butt hurt about whoever wins if it’s not him and definitely calls out his brother’s own flaws in their own work. Petty. P-E- to the T-T-Y~!

Donnie

If given an unlimited amount of time, I do believe Donnie would be a real rival in this house decorating competition. First of all he’s good with his hands, precision baby, precision!!! He has the most practice with fiddling around with crazy small parts. Those little sprinkle balls aren’t falling to the floor due to his hands.

Now he may not get a lot of them on, because this turtle will take up a lot of time just getting the foundation of the house perfect. The walls have to be straight! The roof cannot be uneven! April may have to stop him from using outside sources or trying to break the whole model build and go for something more his style.

Once he finishes with that Donnie probably took about 10 minutes alone with it having to be perfect. Icing is up next and oml this may be his downfall. There is so much to secure, and you have to take into account the drying time! The challenges he has no problem with either but they eat up his time completely!!

If April decides to do a bit of trivia, winner gets to penalize whomever he chooses, Donnie is most likely winning those even if April chooses a fair category like Jupiter Jim or Lou Jitsu. Trivia is just Donnie’s jam, and the only way he can get Leo to stop for two minutes or be able to eat one of Raph’s essential pieces like a peppermint decor!

Donnie’s build would be the cleanest, icing looking beautiful! Like touched of snow on the house! But he would hardly have any decorations due to sheer lack of time. He’d have a vote for sure but would get comments like, “It looks pretty simple!” or “This one doesn’t have a doorknob!”

“If I had more time,” would be his immediate come back. Puffing up and feeling defensive because this competition is definitely in his wheelhouse, but Leo of course had to make it to where a genius couldn’t thrive under such terse conditions. Hmph!

I’m sure April’s vote would be for Donnie

Mikey

He’s an artist, artists thrive in silly little gingerbread house competitions. I mean come on he’s the one who has the most creative ideas. Probably the most aesthetically pleasing as well!

But I fear Mikey will lack in the actual house building part. Which is literally just four slabs of gingerbread and the two more for the roof. He’d struggle to get it to stand. He’d struggle to get it to stay still. “Why does it keep MOVING?!” He’d be yelling out his frustration for sure

Even more so when he finally gets everything to stay in place only for one of the challenges to be switch houses. Leo getting his house and while Mikey doesn’t pay too much attention to what Leo is doing, when he gets his gingerbread house back it’s suddenly collapsing again?! He thought he had solved that problem! ACK! “LEO!!!” But no amount of calling his older brother out would change the fact that his house still isn’t put together

When…If he does get it together in time, you best believe he’s rushing to finally get to his favorite part! The decorations! He’s definitely eaten a couple of things without noticing it happening himself. It’s not exactly good candy, but candy is candy!

I think Splinter would vote for Mikey’s even if the house is crumbling, it’s a pretty crumbling house, out of all the brothers I think Mikey would win in a contest that wasn’t rigged by Leo!

Raph

I’m sorry, but he’d eat like half his materials. HE WOULD! So there wouldn’t be a house, maybe a shack if he’s lucky.

And on top of his appetite getting the best of him, everything is pretty darn small, and his fingers are chunky. This activity is just really not made for him but he’s doing his best, okay? His best with what he has left LOL

The hardest part would be decorating since the candy would be the smallest pieces to get on. He’d have icing everywhere, mostly on his fingers to which he would be licking clean, losing more material!!!

“Raph are you even trying???” Leo would goad, feeling that much better about himself and his standing even though he’s not doing much better as we have seen! Raph doesn’t let Leo get to him, he’s happy to just be doing something with the fam! And eating!

I think Cass would vote for this guy’s shack. Probably for some odd reason that I could never guess because she’s such a wild card to me sksksksks

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xzhdjsj · 15 days

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Tangled in Love

Andrew x Reader

Okay before you continue this, I wanted to let you know this fic mentions description of hair texture. The reader has wavy/curly hair! Additionally, this fic is a rewrite of part 6 of Andrew’s story.

+a lil rant before the actual fic (you can skip the first part but please read the second)

I wasn't going to post this because it's a self-indulgent piece but hey I’m sure someone out there will enjoy it too. I've struggled with my hair for quite a while. It was one of my biggest insecurities, and I never knew how to take care of it. For the majority of my life, I've treated my hair as though it was straight, using straight hair products and styles, because that's what I wanted my hair to be. I hated the 'frizz' which in actuality was just me damaging my curl pattern😭 Thankfully, even though I couldn't see it, the people around me did and helped me manage and properly care for my hair. These days, I embrace my curls, and I love them more than anything! If I'm not rocking my curly hair I feel incomplete, it's become a huge part of me! I still have a long way to go, but I'm beyond happy I was able to finally recognise how beautiful my hair is.

That being said, I want to remind all of you that YOU ARE PERFECT! I know we doubt and pick at ourselves from time to time, but it's important to remember THOSE DOUBTS DON'T DEFINE US! Every imperfection and flaw is what makes you perfectly, uniquely and most of all beautifully YOU. Please remember to be kind to yourself and never ever stop loving yourself ❤️

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

It's been months since Andrew ended things with me. At first, I prided myself in being mature and acted like the entire thing never even happened. I stopped sitting where his eyes can easily find me, I never take similar routes as he would and avoided his office at all cost. It was easy to find a temporary tutor to help with my assessments, that way I didn't even need to attend his tutorials.

The less contact with him the better. This little routine was good and dandy, getting me by as I immersed myself completely in y work. If I distracted my mind, I wouldn't need to think of Andrew, right? Wrong.

So fucking wrong.

Every other thought, he was on my mind. I wondered how he'd answer questions on my exam preps, and his opinion on every sentence I wrote. I thought of him so much, it was sickening and before I knew it I was tired and relapsing.

I gave university my all until I couldn't anymore. I was heartbroken and ignoring my feelings only made them worst. They burdened my mind, and I spent nights upon nights crying my eyes swollen into my pillows. I knew I had to accept it somehow but the ghosts of him haunts me, even in my dreams.

Last night’s dream was an especially painful one. I vividly remember the look on his face and the way my heart shattered into a million pieces as he drove away that day. What a shit start to my day!

I rolled out of bed, heading straight for the bathroom where I splashed my face with cold water and looked into the mirror. What a mess, my hair was messy and unkept and not in and attractive, quirky way, more closely resembling a bird’s nest. I wonder if Andrew could ever love me even when I look like this.

I sigh, rubbing my temples and trying not to cry again. Maybe a nice long shower would help, so I did just that. I stayed under the running water for more than an hour, then detangled my hair before stepping out. It did help, at the very least I felt clean and refreshed.

Today was going to be more or less going to be simple, there was a single task posted on Moodle and that’s all I needed to get done.

I settled into a comfy set of clothes and started drying my hair, only to be interrupted by a knock on my door. Who could that be? I threw the towel over a chair and opened the door, and my eyes are met with the last person I wanted to see.

“Hi, I’m here to speak to you” His mouth is agape and he looks a bit shocked.

Speak to me? Here to speak to me? My mind roared. Absolutely not. I was about to slam the door in his face, but he steps forward.

“Only as a professor!” He clarifies. “May I please come in?”

“Fine, but make it quick.” I demanded.

He sighs, “Thank you.”

He steps inside and I lock the door behind him. A waft of his scent hitting my nose, God how I missed that.

“I've emailed you several times about booking a tutorial, whether that be online or in person, and I haven't heard anything back. Me being here is a last resort. It's part of my job to make my students are well, and that if they're struggling, I can point them in the right direction.” He paused, finally taking his eyes off me to look around. “You have a nice place. It's what I imagined it would look like.”

“That’s not why you’re here And- Mr. Marston.”

“Yes, strictly business it is then, though, I don't want to treat it as such.” His eyes are on me again, but I refuse to give him the same attention choosing to fidget with my fingers instead. “I'll try and keep things brief for the both of us. You've been attending as usual, on top of your work as usual and nothing on the surface warrants concern, but because this is around the time where I need to be updated on essay plans and what you intend to do, us talking to one another is inevitable and for your records, and my peace of mind, we must.”

“It’s going good.” I replied, monotoned.

“It’s going good? Is that’s all I get?” He pushes.

“It’s an update, is it not?”

“It's a different response. In the past when we had our tutorials, that went on for at least an hour, you were so passionate about your subject, you made your own reading list and clearly planned out your arguments. You talked me through every point and asked for my opinion just to be sure you couldn't look at it from any other angle because you were adamant about not just getting it right but understanding different perspectives. Tutorials are only supposed to last around half an hour. Why do you think I always put you in the last slot? The look you have when you lose yourself to your ideas, when your eyes spark with this clarity I never want to stop you mid-thought or let that light disappear.” He rants and I wish he’d stop describing me that way.

“First and foremost, I am your professor. I’m here to nurture your curiosity and always have you searching for answers so when you don't show up to your tutorials I get concerned.”

“But I attend classes and all my work is completed. Is that not enough?”

“Your work is fine but that's not the problem I-” He paused and sighs for the hundredth time, “I want to ask how you are.”

“Now you’re interested in that?”

“I never had the chance to and even if I did try to talk to you would you have answered?”

Well shit, he’s got me there. I stay quiet and stare at my feet.

“You've been avoiding me for over a month now and I completely understand why. It's enough that you're still going to classes and doing your work, and I can't imagine what you must be feeling having to be taught by me even now. For the pain I still give you, I am sorry. For the pain I gave you that day, I am sorry.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Is that why you’re here? To say sorry?”

“I didn't come here under the pretense of apologizing but… it's something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now. The rumours have died down but that doesn't change the thoughts people still have. It's not something that we should live with, but we must.” He regains his composure quickly, shifting the conversation back to university. “Anyway, care to tell me anything else about your essay? Any avenues you're thinking of exploring? Any reading material that's caught your eye?”

“What about you? Howe you Andrew?” I finally find his face with my eyes.

“I thought you wanted to keep this strictly business.” He uses my words against me. “Don't worry about me. I want you to focus on your studies.”

He smiles and it makes my heart skip a beat.

“Have you… Have you seen the petition?”

“Yes, I’ve seen it. I considered resigning and letting them win.” My eyes widen at his confession.

“Rumours can get out of hand quickly. Heh, never in my life did I think I’d be called such names. Now people think I let students get close to me to get good grades, no matter the gender. I’m a danger to all apparently.”

He sounds tired too, that’s one thing I can sympathise with him.

“The dean’s comment eased some of the backlash, but this is a burden I’ll most likely carry for the rest of my career.” He continued.

I stay quiet, unsure how to respond to him. I supposed we’ve both been hurting in our own ways.

“Can I be frank with you?” He catches my attention again and I look up from my thoughts. “I don’t regret any of it. It was one of the most honest decisions I’ve ever made. My only regret is not protecting you when it mattered and- and I’ll never be able to undo that.”

Fuck he always makes things so difficult for me.

“When I saw that video, and those comments I panicked. The first thing that came to my mind was how you’d feel reading them and how you’d continue knowing people thought of you that way. I know how that feels, something similar happened to me years ago. It hurts being ostracised and judged on lies and when you wade in that water you still have to hold your head up high, so you don’t drown. But thinking back I was irrational. I let my own fears get the better of me and made a decision that was not only mine to make. I… I should have spoken to you before driving you away. I’m not asking for your forgiveness or pity. I just need to let you know this.”

“So what now?”

“That’s a good question, I would say we continue as we are now, I only have your best interests at heart and that should be more important to me than my feelings for you.”

“You… you still have feelings for me?”

“Of course, I do! You think they just stopped? I tried burying them, stifling them, but every time you walked into my lectures it was impossible not to remember all the things we experience together.”

“Andrew look at me.” I shake my head. “I look awful, I’m a mess.”

“I disagree. You’re still as beautiful as the day I left you. If not, even more. Your hair, I- I’ve never seen it like that. It might just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

My hair? I haven’t even straightened it like I always do. How could he find this beautiful?

“Still, you said it yourself, this could never work. Why would you-“ “I’m saying my heart wants to follow you again. Despite it all, I still want you.” He sounds so desperate, and I can feel my heart in my throat. “But this isn’t about what I want. It’s up to you. I you want nothing to do with me outside of university, so be it. If you want to give this a chance, a real chance, I’m fine with that too.”

“Andrew I-“ “You don’t need to give me an answer now, or at all actually. Just… do what you feel most comfortable with.”

That day I had a lot more to think of as I stood in front of my mirror once again. My hair was still unstraightened and a thought crossed my mind. I remember Andrew’s words before he left.

“I know I said it before, but your hair really does beautiful. I can’t quite get over it. It suits you.”

Maybe if I was going to give this another shot, it was time to start afresh. No more secrecy and sneaking around. I stare at my hair in the mirror. Maybe it did suit me and it wouldn’t hurt to try something new, would it?

Months later I feel so much better, the air is clearer, the sun is shining and I’m finally ready to talk to Andrew again.

I sat the window of the café I asked to meet at, looking over at the door each time the bell chimed. This time I was right, it was him. He spots me quickly and walks over.

“Hi, I know I’m a little early. May I sit?”

“Of course, please do” I urge him.

“I see you changed your hair. It looks really good.”

I run my fingers across the soft curls on my shoulder.

“Less of a change more of an embrace I’d say. I thought it was about time I stopped straightening it and wear my natural hair.”

“Not that you were any less beautiful before, but I find it harder to keep my eyes off you now.”

I smile. My cheeks are probably flushed, I can feel them all warm like the fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

“You know it’s very similar to my decision.” I tell him. “It’s another thing I want to embrace and flaunt to the world.”

“And I'll accept it no matter what it might be. So, what's your decision?”

My ass is off the chair in an instant, and I lean over the table to pull his face to mine. I missed kissing him, I missed kissing him so damn much.

#sorry for ze long rant #i just wanted to let you whos reading this know that I love you!#every part of you!#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #andrew #andrew marston #hair is looking gorjus but my pockets hurt from buying hair products😭

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mxmorel · 4 months

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on messy redemption arcs (specifically todd brotzman's) and why i think they're a good thing

sharing the following thing i wrote in the dghda server re: todd's character growth in s2 upon the request of another server member!

for context, this is regarding a conversation that sprung up in the dghda server about some people viewing Todd as manipulative/uncaring towards Dirk, vs other people who saw his arc in s2 through a different lens. to be clear, despite various disagreements, the conversation was positive and everyone was respectful which was really nice, considering how bad discourse can get sometimes. but anyway i came in late to the conversation and this was my contribution - clearly, i fall in camp 2:

[About Todd's ups and downs in S2:] growth isn't linear and people can take steps forward and then fall back, but what matters ultimately to me is that they keep trying to take those steps forward even when they make mistakes and I think Todd does do that.

He's spent so much of his life in a prison of his own making, lying to everyone and digging a hole so deep he didn't think he could ever get out of it. And I think he did always care about Amanda at the very least but he did this HUGE fuckup and covering that up led to this avalanche of horrible decisions and now he has to own up to his shit and learn how to care about people again without hiding from his actions.

He definitely gets tunnel vision about Amanda, and I think that makes sense. He’s so desperate to “fix” things and a big part of his story in season 2 is learning that, like Amanda said, some things you can’t just FIX. Sometimes you just have to pick up the pieces you have left and do your best to make something good with them.

Additionally [in regards to previous comments made about Todd ignoring/not caring about the trauma Dirk suffered in his second bout in Blackwing], he doesn’t know the extent of what happened in Blacking, not yet. And he’s taken several steps back by centering all his focus on finding Dirk - Dirk who has always seemed so optimistic and enthusiastic - to “fix” things (because he hasn’t learned his lesson about fixing things yet). And he doesn’t know how to reconcile the Dirk he knew before with the things that this new stint in Blackwing has changed about Dirk.

I don’t think Todd is malicious or not caring about Dirk - I think he has done so much self isolation over the years that he is unused to knowing how to identify what’s going on with other people/doesn’t know how to handle things. He does try to uplift Dirk, even if he doesn’t always do it in the right way, but that doesn’t make him cruel or manipulative. It makes him a human person who is also struggling to learn how to exist in community with others.

I think there’s also something to be said for the black and white ways we can view fictional characters who react to situations in ways that create defensiveness in us based on our own experiences/our own traumas. I think processing that through fiction is such a powerful tool but it can also put blinders on us and view some characters as wholly good “perfect cinnamon rolls” and other characters as “horrible manipulators”, when really, both types of characters have strengths and flaws, and neither exists purely on one end of the spectrum or the other.

tl;dr redemption arcs can and should be messy sometimes because people are messy. none of these characters are inherently good or inherently bad and i think that's what makes them all such compelling characters.

#dghda meta #??#is this meta? i don't know i've never written meta before #i'm not one of the smart meta writing fandom members lmao i'm just a guy with a lot of feelings #i'm hobbs if he wasn't a cop #dghda #todd brotzman #dirk gently #this is missing some context of specific posts from other server members that i was referring to / addressing but i made some edits for tha

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pigeonwit · 5 months

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hey mista wouldja recommend a poor starvin kid some nice long javey fics to read in these rough times

ive hit a total slump in reading fic and i would love if ya had any good ones to recommend + you have an incredible taste so ofc i have to ask the expert!!!

(also hows it going???)

SNEEP my beloved i have MISSED you!!! so funny you ask cause i've been waiting to say this: sneepy i am eepy. so very eepy, sneepy. my whole body feels weighed down my brainf eels like sludge its a LOT. but im gettin through it! im writing something self indulgent and fun and trying to focus on my assignments before i get to requests, but i can absolutely get you some recommendations sneep, lets go.

losing my mind because i find you in it by PenzyRome - jack and race are getting married and he is so close to getting over his ex who is consistently crushing it and is friends with celebrities and is obviously so much happier without jack except oh! race hired him as their wedding planner! excellent! almost every relationship in this is a hot mess and i love it. everyones a bit of a disaster but thats how love is, huh. its disastrous and awful and fucks everything up and you can either give up on it or make it worth it. that's what this fic is about. making it worth something. penzys fics really stick the landing for endings that feel not just satisfactory, but earned. for all the shit the characters are put through, its more than made up for. also, davey is allowed to be messy! he's not a saint! he made mistakes, he is flawed, he has insecurities that he takes out on others! i love break-up fics that dont make jack the sole bad guy - dont get me wrong, he fucks up too, but both of them need to work to make this worth it. ALSO also, sprutchie. nough said.

too many colours (enough to drive us all insane) by scarlettroses - i think everyone knows this one but on the offchance you dont, its really good. it takes that joke-prompt of 'straight guy worries hes being homophobic towards gay roommate, realizes hes gay instead' and runs with it. because if that DID happen, how would it affect you? you wouldnt just go 'welp, guess im gay now!' and swan-dive into a relationship with your roommate. the fic really explores both davey and jacks relationship with identity and self expression and how discovering your sexuality is a big part of self acceptance and self love; jack takes time to connect with his home and his friends and realizes his sexuality is a piece of that, thereby feeling more whole and at home with himself. davey is allowed to learn that simply being gay is not an expectation and there is no requirement needed to meet a certain amount of Gay - he can just exist the way he wants to. and he gets a nose ring and buzzes his hair, which is 90% of why im reccing this. it does an excellent job of exploring this idea that a person does not make you whole - only you can do that. but a person can make you happy, and you deserve that, too.

Auspicious Beginnings (and the entire May Look At A King series) by ArtemisRayne - my favourite newsies series ever. this fic itself (as well as most of the fics in the series) is a oneshot, but put together you get a long and lovely road through davey and jacks relationship set in a really interesting au. i know the whole idea of cat-human hybrids might feel weird to some people, it is an idea thats been VERY tainted by the internet, but like with 'the crime of being small' i just love fics that explore this recontextualization of humanity. how WOULD a race of cat-human hybrids go about their existence? what accommodations would need to be made, what prejudices would they face, what strengths, what difficulties? the author explores it really well and if you can get past any awkwardness you might have with the trope itself you get one of my favourite javid relationships ever written. they support each other! they fight for each other! they fight for themselves! they cross boundaries and hurt each other and learn how to do better! its really sweet and was one of my big inspirations for 'vice vermin virtue' so i highly recommend the whole series.

#newsies #javid #javey #fic recs #fic hoard #sneepsnoopboopideeboop #ask

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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i’m so obsessed with your meta omg i feel like so many of the takes on the nandermo tag are built around the idea that Guillermo is not capable of being mean/evil or acting selfishly or when he does it’s yay girlboss and it just reads as a bunch of people infantilizing this grown ass man. and they end up completely demonizing Nandor by proxy. sometimes they can admit Guillermo has little value for human life but don’t acknowledge his ability of being a manipulative asshat to the other main characters?? i know he’s been a victim of them many times but limiting him to just that is so boring. and considering i see similar things in other fandoms where there are ships in which one is minority and the other isn’t (which isn’t precisely the case with nandermo but still) i’m guessing Guillermo being fat and latino has something to do with it. is like people are scared of pointing out his flaws as a person and being accused of racism/fatphobia. or maybe they put him in this “can do no wrong” pedestal to avoid properly engaging with him idk. that’s not the point though. the point is i love your takes on Guillermo and i love how he can be so fucking cool while being an utter piece of shit. he really became my #1 blorbo after discovering your blog

idk about those theories, but I will say that both Nandor and Guillermo absolutely should be demonized! and loved thoroughly despite that!

Honestly, I've been stupid into Guillermo since the show started, and I do remember what some of the rumblings were like before nandermo was a popular ship. Even back then, people had a way of softening Guillermo's faults. And I mean -- genuinely, I think it's just Harvey? He's so cute and endearing that you just straight-up forget what a monstrous little shit Guillermo can be.

I get it! I do! Those doe eyes are a lot to look past! But my favorite thing about Guillermo is how feral and awful he can be with the sweetest of smiles on his face. He absolutely is cute and sweet and adorable! And probably also the most selfish and dangerous person in the entire cast. He wants to be the straight man (so to speak) of the cast so badly, but he's just as unhinged if not more than the vampires are.

The thing is... like, he's a terrible person, but they all are! I'm a little leery of arguments that he's uniquely awful or that he's uniquely good. Guillermo is a lot of things all rolled up into one and I love that for him. I don't see any point in flattening his character into just good or just bad when it's all of his complicated curves and angles that make me love him so dearly.

Sometimes he'll give up everything he ever wanted to make one of the vampires happy. Sometimes he'll emotionally manipulate them into giving him what he wants. Sometimes he has low self-esteem and has a hard time seeing the good in his mortal self, and sometimes he has a hilarious ego on him. Sometimes he'll be sweet and thoughtful and kind, and other times he'll be so casually cruel that it's kind of stunning. He'll save a fellow familiar's life, then make fun of a human after luring them in with promises of friendship only to feed them to his real friends.

He's a mess of self-centered, self-deprecating, self-aggrandizing, self-effacing, selfless, selfish insanity and I love that for him!! It's not that he doesn't have an internal logic to his actions; he very much does. He's just also good at self-justification, perhaps more than any of the rest of them, so he can make all of these qualities rest uneasily against each other.

Man, I love Guillermo. He's such a messy little shit and such an utter sweetheart. I want to write a million words about him.

#honestly I'd argue that it's the combination of his basic nurturing instinct combined with his insane control issues #that have made him such a good familiar and bodyguard #like I don't think it's entirely selfless the way he takes care of Nandor and the others #I think he's definitely getting a lot out of it #but I guess that's another meta as well #I'm still in NOLA so I haven't caught up on all my messages yet #wwdits tag #nandermo tag #replies

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wheelsup · 3 years

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the taming of the shrew | one

he is more a shrew than she

penelope reveals her plan to get you and spencer together. unfortunately, her plan has a few hitches.

A/N: again, big thanks to @homoose for being my helpful beta reader, and to YOU for reading it now.

category: fluff, spencer reid x fem!reader, series

wc: 4.1k

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Penelope came back to your place the following night, bearing a new bottle of wine and a collection of materials she mentioned were integral to executing the plan.

Very quickly into Penelope’s explanation of this Genius Plan –– her words, not yours –– you remembered what it was she did for work. Officially, she was some sort of technical computer-y person for the Federal Bureau. As you knew her, she’s a danger to society and anyone with a traceable digital presence.

She managed to construct a comprehensive list of every place in D.C. and Virginia that her friend liked going to, along with the approximate times in which you were most likely to find him there. Approximate meaning, exactly which days he visits and the roughly time of day, down to a mere one hour margin of error.

You scanned the list over, shocked at its detail. Where he cut his hair, got his coffee, bought his books. His favorite restaurants, the chess clubs he’s a member of, his local hospital.

His local hospital?!

“I’m not going to need to know that, am I?” you paused.

“Probably not, but it comes in handy with this job,” she shrugged with a nonchalance that was rather alarming.

There had to be a dozen more places on the sheet –– ranked, in order of his (assumed) preference for them. Penelope calculated it based on the frequency of his visits, their average duration per session, and how often he’d mentioned about the place.

“What?” she tossed her palms up, taking offense when you asked her if she had evil plans to take over the tristate area. “Hang out with him long enough, you tell me if you pick up a knack for researching or not.”

Researching. Mining private data through questionable methods. It’s a small difference to Penelope.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side, Penelope,” you muttered under your breath, flipping the sheet back and forth. “You could ruin my whole life with ten minutes on a computer.”

“I wanted to be thorough,” she defended, shrugging. “And I’d only need five.”

You laughed through your nose, giving the paper one last scan. “You left out one important thing, though.”

“No, I put his home address on there,” her brows wrinkled together as she pointed it out on the sheet with one hot pink polished finger.

“His name,” you berated. “Jesus, you think I’m going to show up at his home?!”

“Again! I’m thorough,” she cried at your accusatory tone. “His name’s Spencer. You’ll like him when you meet him.”

You didn’t doubt that Penelope’s friend was a likeable guy, but you weren’t exactly dying to go out of your way to meet him. You told her that you’d get around to it when you had a chance and left it at that.

And two weeks later, you found yourself in need of a caffeine fix that your tea kettle wasn’t strong enough to satisfy. You started on a new piece late the previous night, and midnight rolled into four in the morning, which pushed you into the arms of seven o’clock. Reinforcements were needed.

Throwing on a large sweater to cover up your messy clothes and grabbing the closest pair of shoes you could find, you originally planned on heading to your usual spot just around your street corner. Just as you were leaving, the list, still sitting untouched in the exact spot that Penelope left it in, caught your eye.

It’d been a while since you told Penelope you’d help her out. Enough time had passed that you now felt like there was an invisible deadline over your head.

Maybe it won’t hurt to try something new?

Besides, meeting someone at a coffee shop seemed like an easy, foolproof way to go about this. From all the movies and romance novels, you knew that cafes are the pinnacle of meet-cute situations. Or, in your case, a meet-forced.

Regardless, it should’ve been simple enough, and it would’ve gotten the favor off your shoulder.

You scanned the sheet for the cafe Spencer would be at on a Thursday at 8 a.m., and got there with barely five minutes to spare before he was expected to show.

It was just your luck that he had to pick a cafe practically as far from your home as he could get, and the transfer train had to have a delay that made you walk the last three-quarters of a mile there. Call it crazy, but you didn’t expect to actually have to put in work for this. You expected it better be worth the hassle.

You took a seat in the back of the cafe to catch your breath as you waited for him to show up. Sitting in the booth, with your head down so you coudn’t be seen, the plan started to feel stupid all over again. You were running around the city, spying on this stranger, and for what?

The silver bell hung over the door frame interrupted before your thoughts could travel down that path of questioning. It rang each time a new patron enters, and within the next twenty minutes it rang only eight or nine times. None of them appeared to be Spencer.

You were prepared to call this one a failure and leave, when you realized your colossal mistake. You only had his name, and no idea what he looks like. So unless he happened to wear a name tag around you could’ve already missed him. You realized then that there were more than a few flaws in this plan.

Keeping an eye on the door, you dialed Penelope’s contact as a swarm of new patrons flooded in.

“How am I supposed to know what he looks like?” you whispered into the phone, failing to cover it with a hand cupped over the speaker. Penelope was confused for only a second by the apparent lack of context.

“Oh! He’s tall, has mousy brown hair but he cut it recently. It’s like… missing on the sides, but it’s all there in the front!” she explained.

What the hell does she mean missing?

“Pen, brunette? That’s like all the guys in here…” You took a look around the full cafe; various men typing on computers, taking calls. All of them looked the same, from their brown hair to their khakis and puffer coats. “You’re going to have to give me a little more than brown hair.”

Penelope struggled to explain and with each new feature she gave you, your mental picture of him got more clouded. “He’s skinny! Dresses like a vintage teddy bear!”

“Does he have kind of like… a hot English teacher vibe?” you quirked your head, spying a man approaching from the sidewalk and drinking him in with your eyes. Tall, brunette, clad in corduroy head to toe with a plaid sweater vest underneath. Vintage Teddy Bear F/W 1978 collection.

“Yes! He teaches sometimes! And you think he’s hot?”

Your mouth gaped even though she couldn’t see you. “No, I - I didn’t say that. I said he had the vibes of a hot teacher.”

“And how different is that from saying he’s––”

“Pen, I gotta go. Your guy’s walking in.” You put the phone away before she could pick apart what you said.

The bell on the front door rang as he came in and you stared intently at his face. If this was like the movies, he’d turn his head right then, at the perfect time, and make eye contact. He’d fall madly in love from the first look, and your work would be done. You sat at the edge of your seat, burning holes into his skull, waiting for that moment.

But alas, he never looked up from the linoleum flooring as he walked up to the counter. With a groan, you slid out of your booth and quickly hopped into the line before anyone else could claim the spot behind him.

New plan: eavesdrop, order the same coffee as him, and pretend to go for the cup at the same time. Laugh about the coincidence, how if you share the same coffee order you must certainly have a lot in common, and have him fall in love with you.

But you overheard him rattle off his order and were absolutely horrified. Black coffee, extra sugar. Like, extra, extra sugar.

You were going to need a second change of plans.

You eyed him up and down, searching for something you could approach him about. He was donning black converse under a fitted pair of dark brown corduroy trousers, with a blazer to match, and a deep green plaid vest underneath. On paper, this outfit shouldn’t work. In practice, it… really did.

A little too well, given how good he looks in it. More fashionable than a federal agent ought to be as required by dress codes, right?

“Can I help you?” you heard, and it poked the bubble of your thoughts. Your head shot up to meet his for the first time, eyes wide as heat crawled up your face.

“Uh. No ––” Shit. You didn’t even realize how long you were staring at his legs. Long, long legs. And shit, why did you say no? That was your opening to talk to him.

The man –– Spencer –– nodded his head slowly, uncomfortably, and turned away with a forced grin. He grabbed the coffee cup placed on the counter and you thought now was the time to say something. But by the time you thought of it, he’d already picked up his cup and made his way to the door.

The stupid silver bell mocked you as he left.

The first attempt left you slightly jilted, but a few days later you found yourself in need of a few grocery items. You just happened to be in his neighborhood that day, and though it was very much out of the way of your own, you didn’t plan on it being a problem. He’d never see where you lived anyways, and he’d never need to know how unlikely this chance encounter really was.

You had Penelope text you the address of his regular grocery store, and upon arrival, felt immediate concern. It was not a grocery store. It was a convenience mart slash liquor store at the corner of the street, below a building of worn apartments.

As you walked through the aisles, the only things you found were a large assortment of wines that took up half the small store space, an aisle of candy packets and chips, a section for household supplies, and one measly aisle for canned and boxed foods.

Cereal, instant noodles, soup cans, pancake mix… nothing very fresh.

Spencer seemed like a pretty scrawny guy. You now believed it might’ve been from the fact that his food choices were so off-putting that he simply didn’t eat. It wasn’t your place to be concerned, but you decided that if you ever ended up taking him out, a farmer’s market might be good for him.

You loitered around for perhaps longer than necessary. The inquisitive shop attendant asked if you need help –– as in, why are you still here, get out of my store –– and you told her you were just really conflicted on which detergent brand you needed. Finally, the man you were after arrived at the scene.

“Hi, Dolores,” he greete with a small wave. The attendant, Dolores, greets back with a positivity that she sorely lacked when talking to you. Dolores has favorites, apparently.

An unexpected panic settled in your stomach and you quickly turned back to your selection of fabric softeners. You weren’t hiding, you just didn’t want him to catch you staring again. You picked up your two props, pretending to read the labels on the back and compare the chemical formulas on each of them, when you saw him out of the corner of your eyes.

He went into the aisle in front of yours, and over the short shelves you saw the back of his head sweeping over the modest food section. He turned around to inspect the other side of the aisle, and you ducked your head even lower. It was in vain. He spotted you anyway.

You fixed your eyes even harder onto the bottles, afraid to look anywhere else. He shuffled out of his aisle and turned the corner into yours. You started sweating a little.

“Uhm. Excuse me,” he said.

“Yeah?” You looked up from your bottles, putting on your best caught-off-guard face. Like you were a girl in a movie, reading a book on the beach (not detergent labels in a liquor store) and your romantic interest just noticed how beautiful you looked doing it, deciding he had to introduce himself.

“Can you… can you move…” he asked, gesturing to the section of cleaners that you’re blocking.

Never mind.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry.” You burned up, moving out of his way. He reached for what he needed and you peeked down to inspect the contents of his basket. Organic whole wheat bread, cream of mushroom soup, and somehow, he’d managed to find the only two apples this place must carry. At least there was light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel.

He tossed a bottle of Snuggle fabric softener and you raised your brows. Given that he was “grocery shopping’’ in a three-piece suit –– a good one, too, black trousers, vest and blazer with an eggplant purple shirt and lavender tie –– you would’ve expected him to simply send his clothes out for dry cleaning.

“Snuggle, huh?” you said. He gave you a confused look. “Oh, uh. I was looking at these. Couldn’t pick between the two.” You raised your two bottles of softener; Snuggle and Tide.

You needed him to know you weren’t just saying Snuggle to insinuate that you would like to do that to him. You remembered Penelope telling you he had a degree in chemistry or some sort of science field, and asked, “Is… is that one like, more organic? I was trying to read the formulas but I don’t… I don’t recognize the chemicals,” you trailed off. You could see yourself losing his interest the more you spoke. He barely looked at you as he grabbed whatever else he needed.

“I don’t know… I just like it,” he bristled. You looked down at the bottle and flipped it over to the front. It had a drawing of a teddy bear on it. How fitting.

You go to comment on it but yet again he’d made an escape, already at the checkout counter and unloading his basket by the time you looked up again. You rolled your eyes, wondering if it’s even worth it to follow him into line and see if he sparks up a conversation this time.

You could tell that he wouldn’t. So you gave him the space to buy his items and leave.

You didn’t really need the detergent, but Dolores gave you a pointed look before you could even think about putting it back on the shelf. You ended up buying the detergent, a loaf of bread, and two packets of sweets out of guilt.

As you took the train home, digging into your packet of sour peach rings, you began to doubt if you can carry out Penelope’s request.

After two failed attempts, you were prepared to tell Penelope that this just wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t expect it to be this difficult to talk to Spencer nor did you see yourself getting closer to him anytime soon. It would be best if she just found someone else to do it.

You caught her in the hallway, leaving her apartment just as you came home from the store. It seemed like as good of a time as any to let her know how unsuccessful your escapades were going. With your tail between your legs, you approached her with the intention of breaking the plan off.

But the second she saw you, it was like she could read through you. She clocked what you were about to say and before you could, she gave you a warm hug. It was the first one you’d ever received from her, actually. And she thanked you for trying.

It didn’t make you feel guilty, per se, but it definitely made you feel weird about telling her the news. So you bit back on telling her what you were really going to say. She didn’t need to know the details of your failure, or the fact that you were seconds away from giving up on her friend.

Maybe you didn’t need to give up right away.

After all, you did only talk to the guy twice. Don’t they always say the third time’s the charm?

You left the conversation at just that –– letting her know that you’re happy to do this for her, even if you aren’t really –– and slinked back into your apartment. The list, buried under the magazines and paint tubes and half-full cups of cold coffee on your table, called for you.

If by any stroke of luck you happened to share one interest with this guy, you promised yourself to give it one more try.

According to the list, that overlapping interest was the wonderful world of Gatsby Books –– a small, locally owned bookstore residing in the heart of D.C. ’s arts district. That neighborhood was smack in the middle of your’s and Spencer’s, and it was where the gallery you showcase at was.

You’d been meaning to get down there for a while now, anyways. It really was the cutest bookstore in the world; inside it lived a white, bushy-furred cat named Gatsby, and he was always there. After all, it was his bookstore.

It wasn’t such a burden to make your visit fit Spencer’s schedule, really. And it would make Penelope happy if you did. So on Saturday afternoon, you took a lovely walk through the sunny arts district of D.C., a smile on your face and a tote in hand for all the books you were planning on hauling back.

The smell of paper and coffee greeted your nose at the door, and you practically fell into a trance, letting it lead you through the aisles of the store without much thought of where you wandered. Not that it mattered, you could’ve roamed the shelves aimlessly all day long.

In the mystery and thrillers section, you found Gatsby. He jumped down from his perch on a step stool and weaved between your legs, greeting one of his long-time regulars. He was such a good shop owner.

“Hi, Mr. Gatsby.” You smiled and bent down to give him a little head scratch when he started running off in the other direction, taunting you into following him.

He rounded the corner and came to a stop at a pair of boot-clad feet; your eyes moved up to find your favorite employee (after Gatsby, of course) restocking the shelves.

“Miles!” you whispered, but he still jumped out of his skin. He turned around, hand still over his chest, and sighed when he realized it was just you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you laughed.

“Hey, long time, no see. Back for some more recommendations?” You ‘ooh’ed at his offer.

“I was just gonna say, the ones you gave me last time were so good. I finished them in, like, a week.”

“Really?” He smiled, brows happily up his forehead. You nodded in assent. “Okay, well I’ll give you more this time, see if the list’ll last you a little longer than that.”

You grinned eagerly, following him to the shop counter where he pulled out a stack of bright green post-its and a pen.

“I’ve actually been waiting for you to come in, I already had these in mind for you,” he mumbled, scrawling across the paper quickly. He handed the note over, and it took a moment to decipher the chicken scratches.

“Okay, first you gave me Al-Shayk and Bradbury. Now you’re giving me Chaucer, Dickens, and Doyle,” you recited the note, giving him a teasing look. “Are we just going through the alphabet, Miles?” you joked.

“Honest mistake. But I’d be happy to give you all the other twenty-two letters of the alphabet if needed.”

“I might hold you to that.” You nodded, folding the post-it in your palm to prevent the sticky backing from gunking up. It’d make quite the good bookmark for later. “Thanks for these!”

“No problem, just a part of the job.”

Nonetheless, you thanked him again before disappearing back into the aisles. You found Miles’ books as well as a few of your own and nearly lost yourself in the rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, until you made a turn. Standing in the middle of the next aisle was Spencer.

A week ago, he was the whole point of coming to the store. That day, you completely forgot about it, and it stopped you in your tracks to see him there. He was just standing in the middle of the walkway, staring blankly at the shelf in front of him.

“Excuse me,” you grinned, “Could you move?”

You thought it was a cute reference back to the laundry detergent fiasco, a chance for you to turn the tables, but he had no reaction to it whatsoever. His face was straight as he merely pivoted his shoulder out of your way as you reached for the book you needed; The Narrative of John Smith.

His eyes narrowed at you and his nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was called for because you grabbed the last copy they had in stock.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want this?” you asked, waving the book in his face. He was just standing there for so long, you didn’t think he actually wanted anything since he never picked it up.

“No,” he said coldly.

Contrary to Penelope’s review, he didn’t actually seem that warm of a person. But you smiled tightly at him, letting a forced laugh fill the stale air.

“I… I swear I’m not stalking you,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. Technically it was a bit of a lie, but he didn’t need to know. It’s just something people say when they have the happy coincidence of running into a stranger so often.

“What did you say to me?” he bit. His tone was sharper than you felt like this conversation deserves.

“I mean, I’ve just been seeing you around a lot… it was, like, a joke? Like, ‘ahh watch out, I’m stalking you!’ you know?” With each second he stared you down, you felt your throat dry out, getting more flustered as you felt the need to over explain yourself.

“Maybe you should work on your comedy routine,” he barked, his voice just faintly cracking. He shoulder-checked you as he rushed out of the store in long strides and a brisk pace.

What in the absolute fuck.

You couldn’t stay in the shop for another minute. You dropped your stack of books at the counter with Miles, giving him a rushed apology for leaving them behind as you stormed out of the shop and headed in the opposite direction of where Spencer ran off to.

The air outside was now frosty as the sun disappeared behind the horizon; the wind nipped at your hot cheeks as you charged home. There weren’t enough words to quantify the anger you felt. Your mind ran rampant with how much you now hated this man.

Not only did he bite your head off for no good reason, but he publicly embarrassed you at your favorite place and had gone so far as to bruise your shoulder to make a point. And you know what? If he really wanted you out of his way, you were more than happy to leave him the hell alone for the rest of your life.

You reached into your jacket pocket for your phone and dialed Penelope.

“Hey! How are––” she cheered.

“It’s off.”

“What?”

“It’s off. I’m not dating your fucking friend.”

“What happened? I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding––” she started in a panic. She pleaded that you overlook whatever went wrong and promised that she’d have a talk with Spencer about it. She’d try to encourage him into the direction that you need.

None of that registered in your brain, hot blood filling your ears instead of her words.

“He’s a fucking ass,” you spat. “The more I see of him, the less I like him, and… I’m pretty sure we’d rather kill each other than date at this point. So yeah, I’m done.”

☆

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narutogwriting · 3 years

Text

A Kunai is Not a Knife

⋇✦ Pairing

Kakashi Hatake x Reader

⋇✦ Genre

fluff; one shot

⋇✦ CW

none

⋇✦ Length

1.6k

⋇✦ Request by @kakashiswilloffire : can I request kakashi or shikamaru trying and failing to cook dinner for a gn!reader? like never used a knife that wasn't a kunai but wants to do something nice for their partner?

Kakashi was a more than capable shinobi. Son of the white fang, he was a legend in his own right. Being one of the youngest ninja to graduate the academy at age five, he went on to become a chunin at just age six. By the time of the third ninja war, Kakashi was a jonin, trusted to lead his own team.

He was Kakashi of the Sharingan, the copy cat ninja. Kakashi joined the ANBU, was the third Hokage’s right hand man for a time, and feared across the nations.

He was strong, he was intelligent, he was good with a kunai.

But for the life of him, Kakashi could not use a food knife.

“Shit shit shit,” he cursed, shoving his now bleeding thumb in his mouth, tasting the metallic on his tongue.

With his free hand, he grabbed the remote, pausing the cooking show he was watching that was attempting to teach him how to make dinner. It was a little out of his league as a person that survived mostly on takeout, but Kakashi had been optimistic and confident in his abilities.

Because really, how hard could cooking be?

And yes, okay, he absolutely could activate his sharingan, watch the cooking show--memorizing every meticulous movement of the chef on the television--and prepare the most decadent meal you’d ever tasted all from the comfort of your home.

But at this point, it was a matter of pride.

Kakashi was a grown man. He could cook dinner for his girlfriend. It really shouldn’t be this hard.

That’s what he told himself as he sucked on his stinging thumb. He’d tried to chop the vegetables as quickly and diligently as the chef had done and subsequently cut into his finger. Luckily it was a superficial injury, something he would forget about in the next ten minutes, but the point stood that there was no reason he should be so *bad at this.

It was a knife for god’s sake; Kakashi was basically born holding one. Given they were different tools for very different purposes, but when it came down to it, a knife was a knife. Or so he thought.

Sighing, Kakashi glanced at the clock. You’d be off your shift soon and then heading home. It was your ninth consecutive shift at the hospital. A small factory fire left many injured--thankfully not fatally--and so you had been putting in overtime to make sure the patients were taken care of and your coworkers were not left stranded without help.

You took your work very seriously, and Kakashi loved and appreciated that about you. You were such a hard worker, and it made Kakashi proud to call you his. But as such, you’d been obviously exhausted, spending all your time home asleep, and Kakashi was sure you weren’t taking adequate enough breaks to nourish yourself properly.

He just wanted to do something nice for you. Coming home to a nice home cooked meal and a warm bath waiting seemed like the perfect way to kick off the four days off you had coming your way.

“Alright, Kakashi. You can do this…” He muttered in an attempt to hype himself up. He picked up the aforementioned tool from hell, taking it to the sink to sanitize it of his blood.

He turned back to the onions then, pressing play on the tv and trying to dice them into tiny pieces just like the chef was doing so easily. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them into small enough pieces. He knew you loved the taste onions provided, but didn’t like the sensation of chewing them.

It was a weird thing you were particular about, something so small it would be easy to pass over and forget about, but Kakashi knew everything about you, noticed every small quirk and committed it to memory.

Like the way you would read a book, and if a character winked, you winked instinctively as well. If someone came up and startled you, you would yell “ow” even though you weren’t hurt. You had a dimple only in your left cheek, and the only time it was visible was when you were especially happy, and when you were anxious, you’d swipe your fingers over your lips.

Kakashi noticed and loved everything about you.

Which was why he needed this damn onions to just *get smaller.* They were too big, you’d definitely taste them, and it would ruin the whole meal! He was determined to get them just tiny enough to taste without having to chew them.

“Could I juice them…?” Kakashi wondered to himself as he tossed the horrid knife on the counter in annoyance. Maybe squeezing the onions really tightly over the meal would add enough flavor.

Deciding he’d get back to those later, he grabbed another knife and pulled a pomegranate from the fridge. Kakashi never actually had a pomegranate before, and he’d only seen you eat one once or twice.

You had a thing about pomegranates; they were your favorite fruits, but you would only eat them on special occasions as a way to reward yourself--just another one of your little quirks.

So Kakashi was going to cut one open and get all the juicy seeds in a bowl for you as a special treat.

Unfortunately, because Kakshi didn’t eat pomegranates on his own and didn’t see you eat them often enough, he had no idea just how messy they could really be.

*Screw the knife,* Kakashi decided to himself. *I’m a shinobi. I can do this without that stupid thing.*

So Kakashi, in all his *genius, pulled his Kunai from his leg strap. They used to play games like this in the academy; they called it fruit ninja. The goal was to slice a fruit in the air with your kunai as concisely as possible.

Kakashi always won.

He tossed the pomegranate high in the air, ready to dice the fruit and have it up for serving. Quick as a flash of lightning, the Kunai struck through the juicy pomegranate, promptly causing it to *explode--juices and seeds and all.

And what was also unfortunate was Kakashi was moving so quickly, already prepared to slice the fruit, that his hand moved faster than his brain, and he sliced at the pomegranate three more times before he could stop himself.

Juices and seeds splattered the entire kitchen covering the counters, the cupboards, the floors, and Kakashi.

You walked in at that moment, greeted with what appeared to be a murder scene with a defeated Kakashi standing in the middle of it.

You stared in quiet shock for a moment as you took in Kakashi’s expression. You’d never seen him look so forlorn in your life. His arms were hanging idly at his side, the kunai slipping from his grasp as it clanked against the floor.

You couldn’t help it; you laughed.

Kakashi startled, eye’s flickering to you in a panic.

“Y-you’re home!” He stuttered out. “You’re early! I thought you’d be another hour or so… I was just…” He looked helplessly around the disastrous kitchen. “Just trying to make you dinner.” Kakashi sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head, disappointed with himself.

When you laughed again, he peeked one eye open, shooting a small glare in your direction. “I’m so glad you’re taking pleasure in my suffering…” He muttered dramatically.

Rolling your eyes, you sauntered over to Kakashi, throwing your arms around his neck as you grinned up at him. “You know, I’m a little relieved,” you teased him with a smile. “I thought that you were good at *everything. It’s nice to know you have your flaws, too.”

Behind his mask, you could practically see Kakashi’s pout.

Placing a kiss on his cheek, you pulled back to survey the damage. “I’m sorry; I have to ask… I know pomegranates are messy, but what the hell happened here?”

With a groan, Kakashi shook his head, finally moving to grab a rag. “I… I played fruit ninja with the pomegranate.”

“You… what?”

“I played fruit ninja. With the pomegranate.”

“What does that mean?”

“I threw the pomegranate.”

“You threw the pomegranate?”

“I threw the pomegranate. Then I sliced it.”

“With your kunai?”

“With my kunai.”

“You threw the pomegranate and then you sliced it with your kunai?”

“That’s correct.”

You once again burst into laughter. You couldn’t help it! The whole idea was so ridiculous and especially coming from Kakashi.

He groaned again before you wrapped your arms around him. Reluctantly, he returned the gesture. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever tried to do for me.” You giggled. “Now… Can you teach me how to play?”

And so that’s how the rest of your night went. It wasn’t the way Kakashi had planned for the night to go, but it was one to remember just the same. Instead of a romantic dinner and relaxing bath, the two of you made an even bigger mess in the kitchen, slicing all the fruit you could manage.

You did your best to teach Kakashi to slice and season food with a regular knife. Boiling the water was about the only thing he *didn’t mess up, but it was endearing.

Later, bellies full, laying in bed, leaving the kitchen to be cleaned tomorrow, you cuddled comfortably into Kakashi’s side, placing light kisses on his shoulder as you drifted off to sleep. Kakashi held you tightly in his arms, content. He was a capable shinobi, a legend in his own right. His accomplishments listed on and on. He couldn’t cook for shit, but he made up for it by loving you.

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colorseeingchick · 3 years

Text

Cheer you up, Calm you down (Iwa, Suna, Kuroo)

Life is full of ups and downs! And the downs can come in all forms. But no matter what it is and how you seek to be comforted, these boys will have your back.

A/N: This is part 1 of a longer series I have planned. All the boys are given different Y/Ns with different personalities and different scenarios. But that’ll become more clear in the next parts, I think. But regardless, I hope you enjoy part 1!

Warnings: Language. These are all meant to be ambiguous as to whether they are romantic or platonic. Interpret as you wish!

Iwaizumi Hajime: with a rambling Y/N

When you got the phone call, your heart dropped. He was… with another girl?

You shouldn’t have cared. You shouldn’t have. You guys weren’t dating or anything. But at the same time, you two had been talking for months. And he went out of his way to tell you that he was going to be ‘with the boys.’ So why did he lie? What game was he tryna play?

You weren’t ready to process the sadness, so instead you decide to break down the anger boiling in your stomach. Which is why you had been fuming over the phone for hours to Iwaizumi.

“Hello?”

“He’s a two timing pig.”

“Who?”

As you explain everything over and speak out your heart, Iwa listens. You noted when the other side of the line went silent, but continued to ramble into the phone.

“Are you driving?” You ask him as you hear a breeze coming from Iwa’s side.

“Just an open window,” he dismisses. You didn’t have too much time to question it. Your answer came when you heard a knock at the door.

“What? What are you… doing here?” pulling your phone down from your face, you let confusion enter your trashed puddle of emotions (mainly dominated by frustration).

“Surprise. It’s been an hour and you’re still mad. And I can’t listen to you forever.” Iwaizumi leans against the doorframe, arms crossing in front of him. “So let’s go.” You saw his shiny motorcycle parked close to the curb of your driveway, teasing you with the notion of a joyride.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, anything to get you over this shit. Let’s go.”

As you follow Iwa out, you adjust your weight on the bike, pulling closer to him as he revs the bike. “Don’t squeeze me. Just hold onto my waist, okay?”

Feeling the wind scratch your cheeks and pull tears from your eyes, a smile shines bright on your face. The frustration and anger that constricted your chest had been completely ripped away, the floating feeling in your belly causing bubbly joy to replace it as Iwaizumi guns it on the straight road ahead.

“Better?” Iwaizumi asks you as he tugs his helmet off, parked back on your driveway. You rest your head against his back, hands wrapped around his stomach, a smile plastered on your face.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Don’t waste your energy being pissed about that mother fucker. Not worth it.”

You scoff, smile unfaltering. “You’re right. I’ll just use that energy to bother you instead.” He sighs. But you just know he’s smiling.

“Looking forward to it.”

Suna Rintarou: with a Y/N on a rampage

Pacing your basement hallway, you were absolutely ready to tear a new one to the next unfortunate soul that walked in.

You’d just gotten back from a very long, complicated, messy meeting with a bunch of your teammates and coaches. A teammate who had hated you for seemingly no reason had just spent the last 3 hours trying to accuse you of something you never did. But for those 3 hours you were shocked to find that you had to actually defend you. Of course they realized you were innocent by the end, but they all just let that happen. No one defended you. Not even your ‘friends.’ You were livid, deep in a ‘I hate the world and want to watch it burn’ mood. Hence why you wanted to tear apart whoever was unfortunate enough to cross paths with you.

You were not ready for that person to be Suna Rintarou.

“Suna what the heck are you doing here? Did you see my texts?”

“Y/N-”

“I swear if you didn’t read them I’m gonna be so mad. I literally cannot believe this is even happening right now.” Your voice shakes as you stew in your own anger.

“Y/N…”

“I’ve never been angrier in my whole life I swear, this is unreal, absolutely unreal. Absolutely unacceptable. I literally cannot believe that they’re all absolute-”

You’re cut off when Suna grabs your hand, squeezing it abruptly.

“What the-”

He turns your palm up and places a rectangular item (that he’d been storing in his hoodie’s pocket) into your grasp. After he pulls away, you take a moment to inspect the item.

“The hell is this…” You blink-

And process.

“Why did you give me a snicker’s bar?”

“Because you’re not you when you’re hungry,” Suna deadpans.

“...”

“That’s so not funny, Suna.”

“Then why’re you smiling.”

Unfortunately, he’d got you there. You were no less angry, but the flow of anger had been interrupted by a new flow of amusement.

“Suna I’m being fucking serious right now, I can’t-”

You’re stopped this time by the rough jolt of your body forward as Suna roughly pulls your hoodie over your head, and then squeezes you in a hug.

“It’s shitty, I know. But everything is a lil less shitty with chocolate. Deep breath, eat, and then you can rant to me. I’m caught up on the texts.”

“...thank you.”

“No problem. But break a piece of the snickers off for me, will ya?”

“Aw hell nah this is my chocolate now!”

“Never buying you chocolate again.”

Kuroo Tetsurou: with a Y/N who just needs to get it out

“I’m literally gonna murder him.”

“Ya know, you should really stop staying stuff like that- cuz if he mysteriously dies and they take you to court, I’ll be the one who has to testify that you threatened murder. And I don’t really want that.”

“I know I know- you know I wouldn’t actually do anything but UGH!” You pound the ground against you in a fit of rage while Kuroo watches you, laying down on the hill you both had retreated to.

“I cannot believe him. It’s absolutely insane that he just keeps getting away with this shit and nobody does ANYTHING about it! And then they have the audacity to make me out to be the bad guy?! It’s so freakin’ bogus.”

“They still haven’t done anything about it huh.”

“And they won’t. Surprise surprise. Everyone sucks at holding people accountable once it's their ‘favorite student’ that has all the flaws. I’m so over all of this.”

Kuroo perches upwards at the sound of your voice cracking, keying in on how frustrated and emotionally exhausted you truly were.

“What do you want to do about it?”

“I don’t know. All I want right now is for my chest to stop hurting. This is so frustrating.” You try your best to keep it together in front of him, but he knew better. He knew much better.

“C’mere.” Kuroo wraps his arms around you, burying your face into his chest. “Scream.”

“Huh?” He had to know how odd of a request that was.

“Bury your face in my chest and just like, scream. Yell. Cry. Whatever you want. You’ll feel better. Get it out.”

“...mm…”

And so you did. You muffled your screams into Kuroo’s shirt, your throat going raw, your tears falling down, and his firm hold unwavering. As you pull away slowly, he gives you a firm shoulder pat before checking up again. “Better?”

“Yeah. Better.”

Notes:

Iwa’s is based off my best guy friend who’s a motorcyclist. I fully headcanon Iwa having a bike he HAS THE VIBES.

If you don’t get Suna’s comment please watch this video: here

Kuroo’s situation is not based off a personal one but, the ‘casually threatening murder’ is very much like me. And it makes all my pre-law friends very worried sometimes.

These are all SO SHORT I kinda hate it but expect the next parts to be...much longer lol I suck at concision.

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willowbird · 3 years

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For the ask game: 17 for au, 3 for trope and 19 for prompt? Have a great day!

Band au, meet cute, "suck on that"

Hope you guys are okay with another Andrew POV! I'm pretty sure this counts as a 'meet cute', as much as anything with these two meeting ever could lol

---

The sound guy had a very nice ass. Andrew wasn't sure what the rest of him looked like, but for the moment that didn't matter. For the moment, Andrew was satisfied with the pleasant view as the man straddled a ladder some fifteen feet up. He was poking around with one of the speakers, though Andrew neither knew nor cared why.

Again: nice ass, and that was enough.

At least, it was certainly better than paying attention to the building manager - who was being a condescending dickhead as he rambled on and on about the rules of the house.

Apparently, this was a "dignified establishment" and any "rowdiness" caused by the band's fans was going to result in them being permanently blacklisted. If Andrew gave an iota of a shit he might have told the man they had no intention of playing this venue ever again anyway, considering how ridiculous the fucker was making this process.

"Furthermore, if any-- oh, there he is! Good, I have far too many things to do to be stepping in as your manager as well." Andrew tore his gaze away from the sound guy's ass and fixed the asshole with an unamused stare. Erik, their band's manager, was currently wrangling the rest of the band through a photoshoot that Andrew had not been invited to.

("Not invited", meaning "expressly told not to come elsewise the contract would be shredded". Some people got so fucking uppity about being punched in the dick and held at knifepoint.)

Whatever. Anyway, because the rest of the band was off getting their pictures taken, Andrew had been volunteered (read: commanded) to head over to the venue early and oversee setup for their concert tonight. Hence why he was forced to put up with this dipfuck - who was now passing him off onto some underling.

The guy that joined them was conventionally attractive with a charming smile that Andrew didn't trust for a second. "You must be Andrew Minyard," he said as the building manager scurried off to sour the souls of small children. He put out his hand, then let it drop when he realized Andrew had no intention of shaking.

"My name is Jake." The smile never faltered and Andrew was very familiar with the way the man's eyes scanned the entirety of his body. It was hungry, predatory, and confident - and Andrew was having none of that shit today. There were two reactions that Andrew regularly got, being an out gay performer in an up-and-coming but still relatively small-time rock band: scorn and sex. Honestly, some weeks the sex was welcome but most of the time Andrew preferred the scorn, it was far less demanding.

Andrew sighed heavily. "I am not going to fuck you, so save yourself some embarrassment and do not even bother."

Jake recoiled instantly, his expression shifting rapidly from surprise to annoyance to anger back to a flawed mask of easy confidence. "Volunteering to bottom then? That's bold, but I like it." He stepped closer and though Andrew did not give ground he did narrow his eyes as he rested the fingertips of one hand at the edge of the opposite armband.

"Touch me and I'll stab you in the dick." Punches were just for warnings and this guy clearly didn't heed those.

"I don't got to touch you for you to suck my dick, though. Maybe if you--" Jake never got to finish his suggestion, because out of fucking nowhere he was nailed in the forehead by the handle of a screwdriver. He stumbled backward, eyes wide and a little bit dazed. "What..? Fuck." He pressed both hands to his forehead, which was already beginning to welt, crouching down with another ramble of curses. "What the fucking... fuck! Shit!"

What happened next was a fast, chaotic jumble that Andrew only later was able to piece together. Jake The Predatory Asshole stood up too quickly, still reeling from the hit, and stumbled into a nearby ladder. This ladder was there supporting the sound guy, who had continued to work on his task throughout this fun little encounter. The ladder, which hadn't been properly locked, snapped partially shut as it was pushed, causing it to overbalance. This, in turn, sent the sound guy crashing to the ground.

Well, not exactly to the ground.

That ass, which looked so round and plush from Andrew's vantage on the ground, was apparently made of solid muscle. One moment Andrew was watching Jake stumble, wondering if this meant he didn't get to stab him now, and the next he was flat on his back with a very compact, stunned sound guy sitting on his stomach.

Now, Andrew was all ready to get his stabbing on. He didn't give a shit if it wasn't this sound guy's fault that he fell from the ladder and Andrew just happened to be there to break his fall. Andrew just got clandestinely denied a chance to stab some overconfident bro that likely kept rufies in a pez dispenser in the pocket of his shitty designer sweatpants. He was primed and ready to stab, then some guy landed on him - that guy was about to be stabbed.

Except just as Andrew was pulling his knife the guy looked down at him and not only was his ass fucking impeccable, but he had the bluest goddamn eyes Andrew had ever seen, and that mouth. It was currently twisted up into amused sort of smirk that tugged up more on one side than the other. His hair was long and queued into a messy braid over one shoulder, a few wisps hanging around his face that with the backdrop of the houselights behind him made him look like a fucking mermaid or something. This fucker was almost offensively attractive.

Then, to make it all even worse, a spluttering sound came from beyond them to where Jake had landed. "What the fu--!"

Exceptionally Hot Sound Guy, materialized a screwdriver and heaved it with a suspicious amount of skill and form. It made contact, judging by the cut-off expletive and fleshy thunk. Also by the smug little smirk that folded itself across the sound guy's lips.

"Suck on that," he said. Then, with a pleased little 'hmph!', he got off of Andrew and held out a hand in offering.

Dazedly, Andrew accepted it. When he looked over at Jake, the fucker was out cold, spread-eagle in the middle of the stage.

"I can drop one of the lights on him," the sound guy offered casually. It should have been a joke; Andrew knew it wasn't.

"Who are you?" Andrew heard himself ask. It came out sharp and accusatory instead of fluttery and infatuated, thank fuck for small miracles.

The guy apparently had to think about that for a moment (which, really? what the fuck?) then he smiled, this one a softer, more personal smile that Andrew did not understand but needed to on a deep, inexplicable level. "Neil," he said. "My name is Neil."

Neil looked over at the downed creeper, then got a positively evil little look on his face that had Andrew's brain finally catching up to exactly how much trouble he was in. He watched as Neil jogged back into the wings and returned with a bottle of water. Bypassing Andrew completely, Neil crossed right to the fallen perv, crouched beside him, and poured the contents of the water bottle right on Jake's crotch.

That second screwdriver must have really hit home because the fucker didn't even stir.

Pleased with his work, Neil tossed the now-empty water bottle off stage right and returned to Andrew. "Good enough for now?" he asked.

Andrew stared at him for a long moment. When he opened his mouth to say something snarky and unbothered, what came out instead was, "I am buying you dinner."

Neil looked surprised, then the expression warmed to something else before he said, the edge of a smile teasing Andrew from the corner of his mouth, "Okay."

Oh yeah, Andrew was so incredibly fucked.

fun little prompt game

#aftg #aftg fanfic #asks #ficlet prompts #andreil #meet cute #band au #andrew minyard #neil josten #andrew minyard x neil josten #oh my god this is terrible #its so bad #but look #it fills the brief ok?#pls dont judge me by how awful this is XD

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pigeonsatdawn · 3 years

Text

law school ep 15 (and solhwi overall)

gonna put in my two cents for the line that singlehandedly caused the solhwi nation to implode.

(apologies in advanced because my thoughts are too messy for me to neatly put it in a post but i want to say it anyway—also this is just the way i view solhwi so please don't come screaming at me if you disagree!)

i'm a diehard solhwi shipper and i love their relationship, and think they have one of the best relationships out there in the fictional world, and also definitely one of the healthiest. but to me, their relationship extends far beyond the romantic relationships we so often see portrayed in media.

kim beom said in one interview that this relationship between HJH and KS is kin to that of a soulmate relationship that's not necessarily romance, and i find myself agreeing with that notion. while soulmates are typically used to describe romantic partnerships, it doesn't necessarily have to start with romance. (many people have pointed this out in other posts so i won't go further down the fact that HJH x KS's relationship is a friends-to-lovers slow burn but you get me.)

but in fact, this bond between soulmates (or at least how i define it), in my opinion, is far beyond what we usually see in romance. as in, it's not just someone you like, but it's someone whose changed your life in a certain way. i know some may be averse to the idea of having to change for the one you love because loving is the notion of accepting someone in spite of the person's flaws, but what i mean is that when you love someone in this way, you want to change because of them. you see them, and they inspire you, and you grow in your own way. once again—growth is a very subjective idea, and even for HJH and KS we can see them grow in different directions—but we can clearly see how they have impacted each others' lives.

it's quite obvious, imo, how KS's life has been impacted by HJH's. she's,, not the "smartest" out there, and we can't deny that. we know she probably won't make it through law school if not for HJH's help. HJH is always there, a step ahead of KS, but he's not just being proud about it, instead opting to help her understand what the laws are and why they are the way they are, which KS especially needs, being a particularly empathic person. but we've also seen that HJH has helped KS beyond simply academics. he's always been there to protect her—almost all their interactions have proven that (the camera outside her house, the hungover soup, the switching seats—i think literally everything?..?..?.??). maybe she doesn't necessarily need protection, but surely thanks to his protection she's much better than she might've been without, especially knowing her terribly miserable life.

but i often wonder why HJH is so heart-eyes of KS of all people. i mean, i know love is love and sometimes you just catch feelings, but i believe there's more meaning behind their relationship than meets the eye. like you don't just look at someone so lovingly for it to be just a crush, y'know? the first reason that comes to mind is clearly simply KS's amicable personality. she definitely stands out: she's not that intelligent, struggling and barely surviving, but she has insane passion to pull through even despite truth attacks (like SJH saying she should reconsider her life decisions, saying that a chance of passing isn't something to be proud of, etc). she treats everything with such a positive outlook, and, well, KS is just an adorable human, so it's hard not to have a little crush her.

what makes KS stand out most, the core of her personality, is that she has hope, despite everything. she's been through shit because of her circumstances—left by her twin sister without a word, been in juvie, has no money to deal with it—you know, entire backstory. but instead she fights her weakness, even though she feel like it should've been her sister, even though she's not smart enough, because she has to do this. she keeps going, even though things keep turning out for the worse for her, holding hope when circumstances are most dire. but why? because she strives for justice. she doesn't want to be wronged. she wants the law to own up its mistakes, wants to make sure the law gets its own revenge. that's why she wants to work in law, yeah? and so she keeps fighting, even when hope seems lost.

okay but why did i mention this? because i think this is what HJH sees in KS. why? because this is what he needs.

HJH had lost hope. in an episode (i don't remember which), he mentioned he doesn't trust anyone, and it's obvious why: his uncle. it's the worst kind of betrayal that causes your ideals being burned down. he realized that even people who work in law can be corrupt, people who he thought he could trust above all others, people who seemed utterly good. and then he just begins to regard everyone with baseline amity, and no further. many have pointed out he doesn't have real friends (other than KS), even though he looks outgoing and friendly. it's not quite shown, but it must've been lonely. and a lonely fight, trying to prove that he will be a better prosecutor than his uncle was. and we know that HJH's nature as a person is to be calculating, objective, seeing things through facts and statistics; it's what makes him so intelligent. what that also makes him is realistic, and more often than not, that is almost equal to pessimistic—because reality just... sucks, as has been proven by the betrayal of his uncle. and further into the drama we see only more corrupt people in the business, so we certainly don't get out hopes fueled.

there's scarcely anyone in what we see who's actually pursuing law because they're passionate about the law, or if they are, they're not often very... human in doing it. examples: YJH, SJH, KSB are all very cold and indifferent types, people who really just come and do what they do, focus on studies (in the case of YJH, his teaching), and interactions with others are treated as "lesser". SJH and KSB in particular—they're good at the law, sure, but they seem to prioritize their position in law first and foremost. SJH and KSB don't hesitate to call out their losses, and even would rather not intervene for justice if it meant their position would be compromised. not that they're bad characters, not at all; i mentioned them simply to compare them to KS, who, despite not having the brains to do half the things she's supposed to do and earning herself nosebleeds everytime she tries, still does what she does for justice, passionately, hopefully, all for righteousness.

okay this was longer than i intended WHEW so i'll cut to the chase: long story short, HJH needs KS because KS gives him hope. hope of a humanity where people actually work in law and choose to fight for justice against all odds, even if the system itself is infiltrated by filth and corruption. KS is someone who, in her first lecture, was grilled the fuck out by Yangcrates, yet the first thing she does after she nearly throws her guts out is ask HJH whether he can tutor her. she does not ever lose hope, and that, truly, is what stands out to HJH, what he needs.

and KS needs HJH because he is her hope as well! hope by itself does no good if you can't actually do something about it, and KS knows this. HJH, despite seemingly just being someone to help her in her studies, is someone she needs if she wants to achieve her goals, if she wants to get back on the law the right way. which is why, in the end, KS and HJH are, while independent in their own way, dependent on each other in terms of their growth—KS gives HJH hope in humanity, HJH helps KS realize (make real) her hopes that would have been dreams if not for her.

oh my god i've rambled on this long without stating my point: THE DAMN LINE.

HJH saying he owes her makes sense in this light because, indeed, KS's positive outlook in everything keeps him going. it gives him a reason to keep wanting to work in law, because she is a reason to believe in goodness and justice, that there will be people who keep fighting for justice against all odds. he owes this to her—and perhaps that is why he goes all out to help her achieve that hope, perhaps that's why he goes out of his way to care for her. because they are each other's missing puzzle piece, the other half. soulmates.

sigh ok this was long ONE FINAL POINT. everyone has their own opinion on a solwhi ending, so i might as well chip in mine.

certainly, as a solhwi shipper, i want them to end up together. i believe they're really the best of soulmates, two people who just complement each other so well. but in the current timeline, them having a romantic relationship out of the blue would be,,, simply unnecessary, imo. they're still very much in the stage of friendship, and are both dealing with their own personal baggage, that shoving a romance would just take away the focus from their growth. i personally think even this platonic relationship is already a beautiful one, one that outshines many of the romances i've watched, even without having to flood everything under the romance light—which i think many can agree with me, seeing as how solhwi is shipped so much. i still want to see them end up together, though, so SEASON TWO LAW SCHOOL MANIFESTATION. please please please directors writers make it happen i am begging you. thank you.

sorry for this long ass post, thank you if you do read it and leave any thoughts! again this is just my opinion, you're free to let me know if you think differently or anything, or shoot me a message if you want to scream about solhwi or whatever i'm just solhwi brainrot 24/7 🤸🏻‍♀️

#sorry this was so long i have absolutely no self control when it comes to law school #law school #law school jtbc #law school kdrama #로스쿨 #solhwi #han joon hwi #kang sol a #kang sol #kdrama #kim beom #ryu hye young #mine #analysis #opinion #netflix

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momota-kaiharem · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on Oumota? Rivals to lovers taken to the extreme

well! i used to hate oumota, everything about it, from the way that it was portrayed to the way they interacted ingame, i thought they were terrible for each other and the amount of vitriol they showed each other during the game just made me REALLY not like them romantically.

and then i made friends with a bunch of oumoters and read a bunch of think pieces and postgame fics and wrote a couple hangar fics and in essence i have been completely converted, it’s one of my favourite momota pairings right now. i just think they have such a neat dynamic, the way they’re both really... huge liars (if you do kaito’s ftes you find that he actually!!! tells a whole lot of fucking lies almost as preposterous as kokichi’s, both of these men really just be making shit up) but that they like, contrast it, with the whole hero vs villain dynamic. and they do embody it quite strongly. kaito and kokichi are as similar as they are different if that makes sense? they both believe that you should face things, even if kaito is more a “save everyone or no one” type and kokichi is a “ends justify the means” type.

i also find the way that kaito’s belief in people juxtaposes ouma’s general distrustfulness to be EXTREMELY sexy. kaito chooses people on instinct, going off of feelings, what his heart tells him. he’s messy and imprecise and he follows his gut, and more often than not he’s even RIGHT about whether or not he should believe in a person. kokichi, to contrast, is extremely calculated, very careful and precise, he plots out every single detail and goes so far as to write an entire BOOK of potential responses kaito could have to people during the trial. i think they would challenge each other’s beliefs-- on kaito’s end, because he sees himself in ouma, the fear of vulnerability, the refusal to open up, and on kokichi’s end, because kaito’s unwavering belief in people (and eventually him) is so frustrating yet endearing yet inspiring, and kokichi CAN’T but he WANTS to be more like that, to love so completely and fully as kaito does, because even though it could and has lead him wrong, kaito still does it, he keeps taking the risks, making the leap.

i’m also a fan of how they look together. i think it was chemicataclysm who got an ask once being like “why do you like oumota” and he was like “kaito is six feet and kokichi is 5′1″, need i say more” which, FKSDJFLJDSLKFJ YEAH!!! it’s about the height difference. it’s about kaito and kokichi throwing hands and kaito scooping kokichi up to end it and kokichi biting him. the energies. the energies.

i also think that kokichi is the most perceptive to kaito’s weaknesses/flaws, and in a context where he’s not deliberately using them against him (as he does in chapter four when he’s trying to seem like the Big Bad Wolf Guy) he could honestly... take more steps to accommodate them? as i’ve said before i think kaito is extremely sensitive about his intelligence, and after first impressions and all i think kokichi would start to realise just how absolutely brilliant kaito is, and like. i dunno, encourage him a little, in that backwards way he does. kokichi is so good at picking at people too, provoking them, and so i could see him using that to help kaito stop repressing.

and of course kaito would believe in/trust/take care of/encourage ouma (ONCE THEY GET CLOSE) in a way that nobody else has before really, even with gonta it’s more of this blind faith/belief thing, but kaito actually gets MAD at ouma, he holds him ACCOUNTABLE, there’s a back and forth, kaito is constantly urging ouma to grow as a person and take responsibility for his actions. something i like to think about when i try to judge whether two people would be good for each other or not is to think about,

1. who they are when they’re apart 2. who they are when they’re together 3. what they would do for one another 4. how they encourage each other to grow 5. does the relationship flow both ways

and for all of these, it’s like... i think apart kaito and kokichi sort of go unchallenged, everyone in kaito’s life sees him as this hero with no weaknesses/need for comfort and everyone in kokichi’s sees him as a villain without a heart, but they have the ability to connect with each other in a deeper way and see past all of that? and as for reciprocity, i think oumota’s got it in spades, if for no other reason than the fact that kokichi hates it when people lie to themselves, and would probably feel stifled by all the attention going towards him... and of course kaito’s love language is acts of service/words of affirmation/physical touch so there’s no way he wouldn’t be taking care of kokichi while they’re friends. even when they’re not friends, i think kaito would and has shown him compassion when he’s needed it.

short answer: yes i like them. long answer: i like them so much that if myself from a year ago met me now, she would beat me to death. and i would deserve it

#oumota #momota kaito #ouma kokichi #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #character analysis #relationship analysis #ndrv3 spoilers

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derinthescarletpescatarian · 3 years

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What happened w the rationalist community, if you’re ok talking about it?

LONG REPLY TIME.

In my Wild Youth (tm) I was hardcore in the rationalist/skeptic/humanist community. You know, the New Atheist types (the vast majority of the community didn’t call themselves New Atheists, that was mostly American Dawkins fans, but we were those kinds of people, just less arrogant-PR about it). For people who don’t know, the core philosophy of this subculture basically comes down to: - humans are mostly good people, or try to be good people, and we should act in ways that are good for humanity, the environment, etc. - people with better or more accurate information about the world are capable of making better decisions - it is therefore vitally important that we view the world as accurately as possible. Truth is inherently important and valuable. We should do everything we can to make sure that our beliefs about the world are as accurate as possible. - your mind will lie to you. Cognitive biases have their social and evolutionary uses, but they result in bigotry and bad information. We should do everything we can to identify and compensate for these, and think as rationally as a human is capable of. - while it’s not perfect, science is the most effective tool we have for determining what is most likely to be true. Rationalism is therefore massively pro-science and pro-science education. (This isn’t a blind trust; most hardcore rationalists are scientists and fully aware of the limitations of the messy reality of how science is funded and published and the biases that introduces. These are taken into account. The other hardcore rationalists tend to be magicians/illusionists.)

All of this is perfectly fine and a hill I’m still perfectly willing to die on.

When you get a bunch of people together who are sincerely seeking truth and want the world to be a better place, there are some fairly obvious groups that they’re going to tangle with. Before my time, when we were just called skeptics, the main targets had been psychics and life-after-death spirit-communing con artists (this is where our magicians came from, the philosophical descendants of Houdini, one of the earliest voices in the movement, and later James Randi). But the big proponents of harm in my time were the healing crystals/essential oils/faith healing people, and the ‘Creation should be taught instead of evolution’ creationists. We spent a lot of time trying to stop people from selling oils that they said could cure cancer, and fighting against science education being replaced with religious belief inserted in science classes. (I spent a lot of my teenage years debating creationists on the internet. I can summarise this experience as a frustrating waste of time on both sides of the debate. Neither side was going to accomplish anything in these discussions.)

This is all perfectly fine. I won’t pretend I’m completely happy with everyone’s actions; it’s the internet, so of course there were subgroups doing things like mass trolling conservative religion forums and stuff, which had no purpose except to piss off people we happened not to like, but you get that. The problem with this is that it’s easy. People can believe what they want, but if you’re coming into a rational debate, every pro-Creation, anti-evolution argument is complete and utter bullshit, mostly demonstrating nothing beyond the fact that the creationist debater a) doesn’t understand the most fundamental things about biology or b) does understand and is willingly misleading the audience. Every pro healing crystal, pro astrology or pro telepathy argument is fatuous nonsense. Twelve-year-olds could walk into these discussions and completely shred every argument put forth by big-name “creation scientists” in minutes -- I know, I watched it happen regularly. I was on our conservative creationist Christian-owned community TV station for awhile doing a little ‘creation vs evolution!’ debate against the wealthy station owner’s son to fill air time, and I’d see him do a couple of hours of research for anti-evolution arguments every time we filmed, and it always pissed him off that I’d shred anything he said immediately, having done no research whatsoever, because even to me, a child, the giant drive-a-bus-through-this holes in his arguments were obvious. (Also, they were old hash; I’d read all the books by his idols before and checked the reasoning myself long before.)

Fresh voices in the community came from two main sources -- people who’d been pro-people and pro-reason/science for years finding others like them, and ex-creationists and magic healer victims who’d eventually found the holes in what they’d been taught. This second group, for obvious reasons, tended to be the most passionately pro-reason and pro-science people, and discussing different experiences in a place where people could feel safe being critical and actively celebrate doubt was great. But, inevitably, we got lazy.

A lot of the ‘laziness’ was perfectly reasonable and practical. Time and attention is always limited, and when you’ve dealt with six claims of “the eye is too complex to have evolved!” and explained the flaws in the irreducible complexity argument four times that fortnight, when someone walks in with “blood groups couldn’t possibly have evolved, therefore the earth must be 6,000 years old”, you just don’t fucking bother, and you shouldn’t fucking bother, there’s no value in that discussion.

That’s not the kind of laziness I’m talking about. I’m talking about the part where we got so used to ‘that sounds so fucking stupid’ leading directly being able to tear an argument to pieces,that it became normal to assume that anything that sounds stupid on the surface MUST be obviously wrong. Where ‘this is weird, let’s examine it and check for flaws’ became ‘that person disagrees with my preconceived notions, let’s double down and explain why they’re wrong, because I’m already assuming that they’re wrong’. At some point, “we want to be as rational and accurate as we can be, we call ourselves rationalist and work towards that” became “we’re rationalists, so we’re more accurate and rational than average and probably right”.

You might recognise that as in fact being *the exact opposite of the proported philosophy*. There were always some overenthusiastic idiots in any group, but watching it slowly become normal for rationalising to replace active rationalism and for the names of cognitive biases to be thrown around as gotcha buzzwords rather than things people were seriously considering in their own arguments was... concerning. (There were a lot of very smart people in the community, which unfortunately made it far more vulnerable to this particular kind of thing. Smarter people are better at fooling themselves; a person good at reason is also good at rationalising, and you can’t tell the difference between these things when you’re the one doing them.)

In practical terms, this doesn’t matter that much when you’re playing in the easy leagues of explaining to someone that the overpriced eucalyptus oil they bought from an MLM won’t protect them against chicken pox. The person who’s gotten lazy is shit at being a rationalist, but your reasoning skills don’t actually need to be all that impressive for this. You know what they do need to be impressive for? For when somebody says, “women are taken less seriously than men in science and biased against in hiring, payment and promotion”, and this hypothetical you, a male scientist who’s never noticed this and already knows that his profession is full of smart and reasonable people who wouldn’t do something stupid like that, thinks “that is fucking stupid” and automatically, without thinking about it, puts their energy into shouting down and dismissing alternate evidence. Or when somebody points out islamophobia in the community, or passive racism, or... you get the picture. Social issues can (and should) be examined and interrogated using rational philosophies, but it’s so much harder to do that than laugh at creationists who are sending you abusive messages about going to hell. And given the particular hot-button issues in the community, most of the people there were interested in biology, chemistry or physics and simply had no idea how to *do* social sciences, treating the parts that were familiar from their own specialities as valid and the rest as irrational nonsense. And now, you have prominent rationalists panicking about Sharia law, sneering at the made-up problems of feminism, and generally making fools of themselves... because they got lazy.

Because, like how it’s hard to be a liberal (American definition) but easy to be a conservative in a gay hat, it’s hard to be a rationalist, but easy to be an arsehole with a big vocabulary. And that’s why I can’t gush about how great Richard Dawkins’ early science books are without somebody bringing up his bullshit twitter opinions.

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colethewolf · 3 years

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So, apparently Derek and Stiles were supposed to be an actual couple before Davis pussied out and didn’t do it for...hetero reasons? So in essence, they kept writing them as a couple without being an actual couple and threw them together with women they had no chemistry with (Malia, Braeden in Lydia’s case no romantic chemistry) or forced it by paralleling the shit put of it to the point of creating clones (of Stiles and Derek) with vaginas (Paige and Jennifer, Slightly Malia and Cora respectively).

I don’t know why, it’s been so long since it’s been over but finding out that this is a legitimate thing apparently, I don’t know, I haven’t seen the sources but everybody is saying that apparently it came out that they were meant to be a couple before it was nixed, just makes me incredibly angry.

To be perfectly honest I wasn’t huge in this ship or shipping in general however I enjoyed sterek. My thing with Sterek was that I was excited by the fact that there were these two guys with chemistry that bickered and worked well together and respected one another and the best part they were not Hollywood stereotypical. I mean by Hollywood stereotypical is that they weren’t overly sexualized together, they were not overtly either too macho masculine or super feminine. They were strong, intelligent, flawed, messy but good men who respected and seemed to really love eachother without being paraded. The huge draw also and the biggest point was that there were these two side characters with chemistry where you saw it was going to happen and that was pretty exciting for a lot of people.

My brother got me into the show because he was so excited about it. When it didn’t happen he was bummed out, he was angry because of the baiting because he and many other people believed it, even I felt used and I’m not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but even I assumed and hope that it would happen because at least one couple seemed to genuinely like and respect and care and love each other. It just didn’t happen. Just quasi-promises in the form of scenes were they were written as a couple without the romanticism, thrown into relationships with women they had no chemistry way, the type of non-chemistry that seemed as dry as the Sahara desert on both sides (Or in Hoechlin’s case a case of the weird crazy obsessive stalker pawing at him making the scenes with Derek and braeden that much more uncomfortable because even acting he was uncomfortable and she was drooling at the prospect of getting up on him.)

If I find the link with the actual sources I’ll send them to you in a message because I think it would be pretty interesting to read. I think it’s legit, I mean I assume that it was probably something that they were planning but I never thought that there would be a legitimate sources where they say yes this was supposed to happen but it did not because dumb reasons. And I think it’s real because I’m hearing it everywhere, I’m hearing it loudly, and the anger and the rage that I’m hearing it reminds me of when the ban began way back and the Sterek fandom was initiated betrayed by PTB and Davis after all of the legwork the Stereks did to make the show popular, viewed and honestly the reason it was profitable at all.

You’re probably not interested in hearing any of this but legitimately yours was the only blog that I could think of that would hear this and give a legitimate opinion because you’ve been vocal about it and in a wonderfully honest way with your thoughts. Like I said I’m not a part of the community, I am not someone who ships anything. But I did start to ship them because it seemed naturally written, the chemistry was electric, they worked well together, and anyone with eyes and the ability to hear and understand what they’re seeing could see that the writers wrote them as being very much in love with eachother.

I apologize about the length.

Yes, I’ve talked about this before. I’ve spoken to sources before about what happened and unfortunately there will always remain unknown pieces of information about it. I don’t think we’ll ever get a full picture and detailed timeline of genuine fact.

But we can piece together the things that we saw and experience without knowing the full details about behind the scenes. For instance, Jeff Davis frequently acknowledged Sterek as a slash-ship. He admitted to intentionally writing Derek and Stiles scenes together and called them one of the greatest pairings in the show. He also frequently admitted to printing out Sterek fanart and posting them around the studio and writers room.

We also know that he intentionally hinted at Stiles being bisexual. He admitted it. He also frequently baited at the prospect of Stiles and Derek possibly developing into a slow-build romantic relationship. We also know that Jeff was fully aware of the Sterek vs. Derek/Jennifer parallels as he, himself, hinted at them being intentionally set in place during season 3A.

Onto things that weren’t confirmed by Jeff Davis, it was obvious that Stiles/Malia and Derek/Braeden were attempts to no-homo the characters as it was not a coincidence that both characters (who had remained single for seasons 1-3B) decided to both get put into separate heterosexual relationships at the same time, whilst also being purposely kept apart in scenes filmed.

The reality is that even if Jeff Davis wasn’t singlehandedly responsible for how Sterek was treated in the show, the fandom’s anger was directed at him. And it wasn’t directed solely at him just because. It was because Jeff, himself, frequently announced via. twitter & tumblr that he did NOT receive pushback from MTV executives.

In fact, Jeff bragged about how the show was his show and that he was able to write whatever he wanted without higher-ups telling him no. It was Jeff who bragged about the show being progressive in terms of queer representation. Regardless of whether or not Jeff had 100% full control over the show and the stories, we don’t know. But Jeff set himself up as the main enemy on his own accord.

I don’t think the fury Jeff received towards him would have been so strong had Jeff not been so cocky as to preach in the faces of the fans. He liked being the one in charge and then subsequently got pissy when fans turned against him and him alone. I think it was a big lesson learned.

Personally, I think Sterek was the show. It brought so much status and power to the show, but when they tried so hard to remove every trace of Sterek, that’s when the show crashed and burned. It’s no coincidence that season 3B received 2+ million views per new episode, only for that viewership to immediately tank when Season 4 came around.....the season where Stiles/Malia and Derek/Braeden. And following that, the views only continued to drop harder and harder.

Had Sterek gone canon, I think the show would have been regarded as a major game changer for television. Instead, I think shows like Shadowhunters, How To Get Away With Murder, & The Magicians really helped bring new standards for queer representation in television. Teen Wolf could have had that, but they fumbled their opportunity with messiness behind the scenes.

That’s what I think about it. But if you do find those sources, I’d love to hear what they’re saying to see if they match up with anything we already know.

#Anonymous

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luna-helps-writing · 3 years

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Could I please get an Lotr and The Hobbit Matchup?

☘️ 18yo Woman // Bisexual // Autistic and Disabled

☘️ I really love Mythology (Worldwide), Gardening, Home Remedies and Superstitions, Biology, Witchcraft and the Arts. I hope to begin crafting things like Jewelry, Weapons and Kilts, possibly even making a business out of them. I am also an avid writer and like to draw.

☘️ I’m interested in Witchcraft, such as working with Deities and Spirits, and performing magic that helps me and others. The first spell I ever performed was a healing spell for a sick friend, and not thirty minutes after I finished it, I got a text saying he felt a lot better, so I guess it must’ve worked!

☘️ Because of my Autism, I can be rather shy or quiet and quite blunt. I like explaining and teaching people things. I’m very polite but I have been known to go off when pushed enough. I’m also a bit of a trickster, unpredictable and wise in an unconventional way. I have the personality of “I never start shit, but I always finish it”. When you get to know me, I actually have a really good sense of humor and a spunky personality, but it can get buried under the nervousness a lot. I also have a strong sense of duty to others, I’m very protective over fellow misfits and am always kind and polite to those I deem worthy of it. I’m very conflict averse, but when I’m deeply upset enough, I go for the throat.

☘️ I am very short, with a fluffy mane of brown hair, blue eyes, crooked glasses, and pale skin with lots of scabs and moles all over it. I love to wear skirts, especially my red hand-me-down kilt, but that doesn’t limit my tomboy attitude at all

☘️ I have the bizarre ability to attract and befriend random animals. So far, I’ve befriended a stray cat named Diablo, a dog named Hans, a backyard snake, my pet rat Canoli, and a young horse named Fileo. People tell me that animals like me because I have “good vibes” and am very close with nature

☘️ I LOVE going outside and getting messy. Playing in the mud, getting soaked in the rain, I’m the type to go outside and come back home covered in dirt and twigs. It’s just really fun to me.

☘️ I have a habit of giggling to myself just by remembering something funny that happened, even if it was a couple years ago. I also laugh when I do something stupid, because I find my flaws and shortcomings funny for the most part. I love to laugh with people, but never at them. I never take myself too seriously, and I have a pet peeve for others who take themselves and silly things too seriously as well

☘️ My closest friends say I give off “Dwobbit” vibes. That’s a ½ Dwarf and ½ Hobbit btw. I’m around 4’ 10” tall, I don’t shave, I love crafting and art, I live in the Mountains, I’m tomboyish but I also love gardening and can be a bit of a homebody, I love going barefoot, etc.

☘️ I’m basically like a tiny, less-impressive Aragorn. I love travelling on foot, getting messy outside, I was kind of a Horse Girl as a kid ngl, I’ve always wanted to be a knight or king of some sort, chances are that I haven’t bathed in awhile, and I too would pine for a hot elf girl for literal years on end.

Sorry this description is so long, I hope you don’t mind! Thanks so much dear! 🤗🎉💕

Don’t worry about the long description! Thank you for your ask!

For the hobbit, I ship you with Fili!

• Personally, I believe that Fili would go absolutely crazy for witchcraft. His reaction at Tauriel when she healed Kili said enough for me.

• He would have no trouble helping you with your jewelry or weapons. It’s basically his expertise and he loves teaching you all about it!

• Your autism doesn’t bother him at all. He knows how to help, but he also knows exactly when to let you be. Comments that sometimes slip out seems normal to him, as he grew up with a brother who might’ve had the same issue....

• Often takes walks with you. You’ll go anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes, when he feels bold, he’ll launch at you, pushing you into the mud or into the water. Not that you mind. You drag him with you before he can take a step back!

• Your laugh might yet be one of his favorite things. There’ll be times when the two of you are sitting quietly and you suddenly let out a giggle. He cannot help but smile at you and join your laughter, even if he has no idea what’s so funny.

• And last, but very not least, he is an amazing caretaker. He will join you in fun activities, but he will know when and where to draw a line. He’ll remind you to take baths, and if you decline, he’ll probably propose to join you.

For Lord of the Rings, I ship you with Aragorn!

• This sweetheart barely knows any life outside the wilds. Traveling with you would be amazing for him! He’ll show you the prettiest places in Middle-Earth and introduce you to the greatest animals to walk around. (To which you interact with in a great way, much to his surprise.)

• He himself knows a thing or two about home remedies and biology, but your witchcraft takes him by surprise. Sure, he has seen it before, but now he personally knows someone who is great at it!

• It is absolutely no surprise that traveling with a ranger can get messy at times, but you don’t mind at all. Sometimes, he’ll just brood off into the distance and you’ll throw something at him like a pinecone or a piece of mud. He sees this as an immediate challenge and will not stop chasing you until you surrender.

• Aragorn loves how blunt you are. Sometimes, you can’t help it, but he won’t mind the comments at all. He appreciates them. There are multiple times where you’re very shy, but he’ll stand up for you, urging the person to talk to him and not to you.

• He teases you a lot about your laughing. There will be times where you suddenly laugh, and he’ll imitate you, which makes you laugh even harder.

• The two of you together are a great combo! He is there to help when you need it, while you do the exact same for him, because even our favorite ranger sometimes needs help, though he will not confess it.

My second choice was Éowyn, but Aragorn seemed a better fit to me.

• Often play fights with you. It’s great for your entertainment and great for her sparring experience.

• Seems like a sweetheart, but if anyone dares mock you, you can count on her to rain hellfire upon that person. You will definitely need to calm her down.

• Might he the most blown-away person by your witchcraft. She will buy you all sorts of gifts to help you. Sometimes she’ll bring something that you don’t really need, but you appreciate it nonetheless and proudly display it.

• LOVES HEARING ABOUT MYTHOLOGY. Before you go to bed, the nights are spend by you telling Éowyn stories. It could be about anything, but she is all ears. She even has a little notebook where she writes the things down you say. It’s truly adorable.

I hope it was to your liking! Have a great day and stay safe please❤️

#self insert quotes #requests #eowyn x reader #aragorn x reader #fili x reader #send asks #requests are open #self insert quote

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slutforagoodsmut · 3 years

Text

We All Get Nightmares

(Lars x OC)

The waves crashed along the sand, the moonlight glittered across the sea. For once in a long time, there was silence, There was peace. No gem saving, no gem destroying. It was a quiet, normal night; and for once in a long time, Primrose went to bed without a sore body or broken bone. Curled up in the bed layed the precious girl, her dark locks of springs for hair bunched up in a ponytail, and the one streak of light pink laying lightly against her face. Her soft warm touch, her skin glowing in the moonlight that beamed through her window. Her pencil striaght physique now starting to blossom from child to young woman, her hips starting to curve out and chest starting to broaden. And on her back, in between her shoulder blades, sat a rose quarts gem that reflected off of any twinkling light, which she kept hidden beneath her hair. Primrose Universe was indeed a beauty, just like her mother was.

There she layed all snuggled up in her plush bed on the other side of the room, a small smile graced upon her lips as she clung to the teddy bear her father gave her all those years ago. She just looked like some ordinary 14 year old girl, a girl who wanted to go far in life, go beyond the limits as any teenager would. The Primrose everyone knows, the girl everyone cherishes, was much more than a silly little teenager. She was a gaurdian, a powerful protector of the gems; keeping the bad out. The twin sister of a powerful boy and the daughter of a gem herself.

But aside all that schmazzy jazzy stuff, Prim was just your avgerage teenager. A girl who listened to her father's old music and laughed at the silly faces he made. A girl who enjoyed her friend's company and eating doughnuts. Someone who loved adventure and would sometimes get in a lil trouble along with her brother. An open minded person who accepted anyone as a friend. That is who Primrose was.

It wasn't far into the night when Prim's phone began to buzz on her nightstand. Prim, being the light sleeper she was, woke immediately, her eyes being blinded by the light the phone gave off. She groaned. "Who's calling in the middle of the night?" She fumbled for the phone and pressed the 'accept call' button, holding it lazily to her ear. "Yo," she said.

"Prim, are you awake?" A certain Lars Barriga voice came through the phone. Prim rolled her eyes and sank her head back into her pillow.

"Oh yeah sure, totally awake, like i always am..." she peered over at her clock, "...at 2:30 in the morning," she said sarcastically.

"I know it's late but I just couldn't sleep! Maybe you could come over for a bit?" Lars asked, his voiced getting a bit high. "Ya'know, help me fall asleep?"

"You've gotta be kidding me Lars," she sighed, her hand sliding down her face. "Dude, you're like almost 17 years old, can't you tuck yourself in? I mean, haven't you tried calling Sadie?" Prim yawned out as she spoke, covering her mouth.

"Yes I could tuck myself in, thank you very much!" Lars hissed. "I just...I had a bad dream and now I can't sleep," he mumbled into the phone. "P-Please?"

Primrose looked back at the clock, then sat up and looked at Steven, who was sleeping soundlessly all the way on the other side of the loft. It'd be easy getting passed her brother, but what about the gems? Nothing could get passed them, and I mean nothing. She put a hand on her head and sighed again. "Fine, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"thanks Prim, you're the best!" Lars said into the phone.

"I know I am," she grunted as she sat up, stretching her legs and arms. "Oh and Lars?"

"Yes?"

"You owe me." Was the last thing she said to him before ending the call. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. 'I swear to god if this is a joke...' Prim yawned again as she put her hair up in a messy bun, not bothering to do anything with it at the moment. She didn't bother changing either, and not that it was a big deal anways. Prim was wearing a pair of shorts and tank top, all she needed to do was throw on a bra and head out. Prim walked passed her brother and got her flip flops on, kissing him on the cheek before climbing down the loft. 'Was it cold out?' she wondered, before grabbing a sweatshirt just in case. Now here was the difficut part; getting passed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. Pearl was a nutjob when it came to safety, and on the other hand Amethyst could care less, so she would be easy to get by. But then there was Garnet. Garnet was a tricky one, and probably the sneakiest and wisest off them all.

"Alright one step at a time..." Prim whispered as she tip toed silently across the floor boards. Amethyst was snoring on the couch and Pearl was curled up in a ball, but where was Garnet? They should have been in the temple, so this was going to be a little harder than usual. Prim looked around. Uh oh, this wasn't good. Garnet must be in the temple, right? No harm at all! She lightly stepped around carefully, making sure not to step on a squeaky floorboard by mistake. 'Just an hour!' Thought Prim 'and I'll be back before sun rise!'

It took a few minutes but Primrose managed to slip out of the house quickly and quietly. "Phew, that was close," Prim said feeling a bit exhausted.

"What was close?" A voice asked.

She gasped, holding her breath as she clasped a hand over her mouth tightly. "Oh Bejeebus!" Prim slowly turned around to see the giant gem standing over her with her arms crossed, no emotions expressed over her face. It wasn't that she was terrified of Garnet...well....maybe just a tad, it was the fact that Garnet was always right, and to see Garnet dissaprove her actions was one of Prim's biggest fears.

"Where must you be so late at night?" Garnet asked.

"W-Well, I--uh, ya see, something--um c-came up! Yeah that's right, something came up and...." Prim faltered, looking down. Garnet raised a brow behind her glasses, putting a hand on Prim's shoulder. She looked up at the gem and sighed, rubbing the side of her arm. "Lars called me..."

"Lars?"

"Oh! I meant Big Donut Boy!" Prim corrected herself.

"And what does "Big Donut Boy" want with you at this hour of the night?"

"Its sort of embarrassing but...he had a nightmare. And he called me cuz he couldn't go back to sleep."

"A nightmare, huh?" Garnet repeated, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, if you must. This does sound important."

"Yeah I know Garnet I shouldn't leave without--wait what?" Prim stopped herself with wide eyes, looking up at Garnet like an idiot. "Really?"

"Yes, you may go, but don't tell Pearl."

Prim blinked, raising a brow. "Are you an imposter Garnet? Shouldn't you be giving me words of wisdom or something and telling me not to go?"

Garnet cracked a small smile and ruffled Prim's bed head. "Geez Prim, you make it sound like I'm another Pearl." Prom laughed at that. "But yes, I trust you. Just be back before Pearl notices."

"You got it Garnet!" They young girl whispered and gave the gem a quick hug before running down the steps.

*10 minutes Later*

The temple was only a few blocks away from Waterman St., so a walk to Lars's house was a piece of cake for Prim. Her sweatshirt was tied around her neck to keep her shoulders warm and hands tucked in her pockets with her phone. Like she expected, it was a little chilly, but nothing Prim couldn't manage. Matter a fact she loved the chilly weather, and sadly it was something Beach City hardly ever got.

In the distance Prim could see Lars sitting on the steps of his porch, resting his head on his lap. 'Oh man, maybe this really is serious,' she thought as she got closer. He looked miserable, but what was different? He always looked miserable, especially around Prim and Steven. Yes Prim knew Steven could be a bit annoying, but so was she at times! They both had many flaws and messed up--a lot--but hey that's what twins did together! It was both of them or none at all!

"Hey," Prim said, stopping in front of the Barriga Residence.

Lars looked up and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he hadn't slept for days! To be honest he looked like a crack head in Prim's opinion... 'No, he would never!' An image of Lars doing crack came to mind. Prim shuddered in fear. 'He may act like Mr.Badass all the time, but he wouldn't dare to do such a thing!'

"Oh, Prim! You're here!" Lars exclaimed a little groggily, as if he were just dozing off. He wore a black Under Armour tank and a pair of grey shorts, her hair a bit of a mess btw.

"Well no shit Sherlock, of course I'm here."

"How did you get out of that wacko of a house and passed that nut job of a family?" He questioned. 'Such a bitch...' Prim thought as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Watch it chicken legs, I still don't have a problem breaking your arm."

Lars backed off. "Alright alright."

"Well it was fairly easy to get passed my nut job of a family, besides, Garnet is covering for me."

He nodded and patted the spot next to him, indicating for Primrose to sit. Prim gladly took the seat and looked off into the distance, sitting in an awkward silence.

"Rough night?" she asked.

"Uh yeah, rough night," he said, sighing wand rubbing the back of his head. "It hasn't been good the past couple of weeks, I haven't gotten a single drop of good sleep."

"Have you gone to the doctors?"

"Phssht, the Doctors?" Lars scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Doctors are for wimps, big baby, wusses, shall I go on?"

"And the Doctors are for people who are in need of major help, for those who need a diagnosis, and for recovery," Prim corrected him, eyeing Lars up.

"Oh whatever," he groaned, putting his head in his hand. "My parents said that I should go to the Doctors but...I don't know I feel little weird about it."

"Yeah I get," Prim started, "the doctors could be a scary place, no lie, but the only thing they want to do is help you."

Lars sighed, looking down sadly. "Yeah..."

Prim put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, why don't we go in? Sort of chilly out here don't you think?"

Lars looked at her with depressing eyes and nodded, getting up from his seat and Prim followed him in quietly. "My parents are away on a trip, won't be back till like sometime next week."

"That's pretty cool, gonna throw a few parties?" She elbowed his side and wiggled her brows. Lars shrugged and gave a very small smile.

"I suppose a party or two wouldn't be so bad," Lars thought aloud, flicking the lights on in the kitchen. There on the island sat a plate of doughnuts, soaking in all the glory. Prim licked her lips and her eyes lit up. Lars plopped down on a chair and the younger of the two sat across from him. "Want one?" Lars asked, taking a pink icing topped doughnut.

"Do I ever!" Exclaimed Prim, taking the one with white icing and rainobow sprinkles. She could never turn down the most delicious thing in the entire world. Well, right behind cookie cat. "Oh man these are bomb!"

"Big Donut never fails to impress," muffled Lars while eating his doughnut. After a few more bites of their delicious treats, Prim cleared her throat to speak.

"So how about we talk about the nightmare, hmm?"

"Oh, u-um, now that I think about it, I don't really think it's worth mentioning anymore." Lars rubbed his arm uncomfortable, fidgeting around in his seat.

"Dude I came all the way over here because you had a nightmare, I could be sleeping right now." She rolled her eyes. "So you're telling me."

"But it's stupid, really."

"Not to me it isn't."

"Well to me it is."

"C'mon Lars I didn't come here for nothin' "

"Prim just let it go."

"Nope."

"You're really starting to annoy me."

"Don't care, now spit it out already!"

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because it's dumb!"

"Its not dumb!"

"Yes! It! Is!"

"UGH!" Prim stood from her seat and jabbed her finger into Lars's chest. "Why must you be so freakin stubborn?!"

"Why are you always trying to get into everyone's business?!" Lars pushed Prim's arms away.

"YOU TOLD ME TO COME OVER!" Prim flailed her arms around. "God, you say you're life is so horrible, so miserable! Oh boohoo Lars!"

"Yeah! SO WHAT?!"

"Maybe if you talked about your feelings you would be a nicer person and everyone would like you!" Prim yelled at him, shoving the chair in and leaning over table to get in his face.

"Well in so sorry your majesty but I HATE talking about my feelings!"

"WHY?!"

"B-BECAUSE I'M SCARED!!!" Lars's hand went down and he hit the table with a loud bang. Silence fell between them, the only sounds filling the air at the moment was their heaving. "Are you happy?!" His voice cracked as he wiped the building tears from his eyes, sitting back down and hiding his face in his arms. Lars's shoulders shook as he cried and Prim looked down at him pitifully.

Prim sat back down and sighed, running a hand over her face. "Lars..."

"W-What?" He whimpered into his arms.

"Look at me."

Lars moved his head so that Prim could only see just his eyes; those dark eyes that were streaked with tears.

Prim put her hand on his arm and leaned in. "Tell me what happened."

Lars furrowed his brows, wiping his eyes and grabbing a tissue from the tissue box beside him. "It's just...it was all dark. No light, nothin, just pitch black. A-And I was alone! Just me, falling down an endless pit of darkness. Prim I couldn't escape! I was so scared! No mom and dad, no Sadie--no Steven...n-not even you..." he placed his hand over Prim's, looking away with tinted cheeks. "I thought it would never end. And then there was horrible voices. They said such hurtful t-things..." Lars shut his eyes tightly and his shoulders shook.

"What did these voices say Lars?" Prim asked gently.

"They....they...called me pathetic. A-A waste of s-space. They said my parents were ashamed of me. That I was a loser." He covered his eyes. "But they were true. These voices were right about everything they said."

Prim's eyes widened and it felt like her heart broke. 'Oh you poor thing...' She was his friend, this was probably the first time Lars has ever opened up to anyone, but Prim didn't know what to do.

"Why can't I just be like Steven?" Lars said. "Why can't I just be like...you?" He looked up at her. "You're kind to everyone and everything. You're smart, passionate, you help everyone who has a problem, and you make a new friend everyday--the same with Steven. Y-You're nice to me, even when I treat you badly," the teen looked away with shame.

Prim shook her head, "There's only one Steven, there's only one of me, and then there's just one of you. And to just think of two Stevens drives me nuts," she cracked a toothy smile, thinking of her brother. "The things those voices said aren't true in any way, shape, or form, I promise you that. You are who you are, and no one could change you. Sure you have your bad days, but who doesn't? And sure you have more bad days than good, but that just makes the good days seem even more special then they really are." Prim cupped Lars's cheeks, wiping the tears away with her fingers. "You're special."

"R-Really?" Sniffed Lars, swallowing hard and face becoming hotter.

"In my eyes you are. To me you always will be." The two smiled at each other, faces rather close now. "We all get nightmares. Even you Lars, even I."

"Thank you, Prim..." Lars whispered. "Ya'know, now that I look at you more and more often, I never told you this, but you really are beautiful."

"Jeez, I get you to open up once and you're already telling me I'm beautiful?" She smirked, blowing a lose strand of hair out of her face.

He rolled his eyes, moving his eyes away from hers. "W-Well, since we're in the moment n' all, I thought I should just tell you. I mean, you're gorgeous!"

Prim's face started to feel hot with embarrassment, the sweatshirt suddenly not being needed anymore. Prim pulled back and pulled the sweatshirt off, the cool breeze hitting her skin and her gem glowing with passion. It was out there, making her body feel warm with....love? 'This is an odd feeing...' she thought to herself. She only ever felt her dad's fatherly love, or Steven's brother love, even the Gem's motherly love in a way...never this kind. Maybe it wasn't even love, she didn't know, but from then on when she looked at the boy in front of her, she felt...different. Her stomach tingled, like butterflies swarmed inside. Her heart pounded in her chest, her cheeks going red as she leaned forward again.

"O-Oh w-w-well thanks," Prim laughed softly, rubbing the back of her head. "You flatter me---

A pair of lips pressed against hers, a hand on the back of her head. Prim stuttered into the kiss, her heart skipping a few beats, a feeling of warmth engulf her. Prim kissed Lars back, holding his shoulders. A few seconds later they both broke away, gasping for air, falling back in their seats. She touched her lips with her fingertips, slouching in her chair. 'Did he just...?'

Lars himself looked like he couldn't believe what he had done. He covered his mouth, his face passed the color red, looking away out of sheer humiliation. "I'm sorry Prim, I...I-I don't know what came over me--" Prim rose from her seat, looking at Lars with a smirk. "Wait, where are you going?" He asked, sounding a bit saddened and panicked.

She rolled her dark eyes at him and walked around the table and stood in front of Lars. "Where am I gonna go?" She asked, a smile on her lips.

(Ok so like I don't know if this is Would be labeled as pg 13/14 form this point on, so don't go nutso in the comments!)

Prim sat down on Lars's lap, facing him with her arms around his neck. Lars seemed to be in a dazing shock, his eyes still glittering with settling tears and face shining with streaks. She pressed against his chest, a small cheeky smile spread against her face. Lars stuttered over his words, his hands resting on her back, fingers moving over her gem. "I-I-I like you..." Lars mumbled quietly, looking her in the eyes (I know, real cheesy). "Like...really really like you..."

"Really? I haven't noticed," Prim raised her brows, "I'm just curious why me and not Sadie."

"Sadie..." he started, "I only ever seen Sadie as a friend. Nothing more, but I think she feels a bit stronger about me instead."

"You don't think she'd be really mad at us, do you?" The girl of 14 asked a bit worriedly. After all, Sadie was her friend too, and she would never want to upset her.

"I don't know, actually, we'll just have to see."

"So that means..." Prim laughed a little, shrugging her shoulders, "that we're dating? Like...a thing?"

Lars smiled widely, nodded his head, and rested his forehead against hers. Prim kissed his cheek, then his jawbone, and then laid a small kiss on his neck, and then a bigger one where his shoulder and neck met. "You won't ever abandon me, would you?" he moaned, his grip on Prim becoming stronger. "Like, leave me for someone better?"

Prim, the girl with dark, long springs for hair, chuckled softly, hugging the older boy's skinny yet strong chest to her. "Never" is what she whisper, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

#steven universe #lars #lars barriga #lars x reader #stuff #idfk #garnet #pearl steven universe #amethyst #Steven

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oldstriderbot9000 · 3 years

Text

HS^2/Epilogues accidentally did Ult Dirk kind of right.

This is gonna be a long one.

So I figure I will make this, whether it gets shared around or not. I need to get it out of my system and on Tumblr.

Lets look at what an Ultimate self is, in essence.

An Ultimate self is not the combination of every possible version of a person. So humanstuck Dirks aren’t going to be part of the Ultimate Dirk we are seeing in the comic.

An Ultimate self is the combination of every possible version of a person in a certain universe. Ultimate Dirk is both a special case due to how Homestuck had 4 universes linked together, but also because of how his aspect includes all splinters of himself. For normal Ultimate selves I will use Rose and Dave rather than Dirk.

You have a start point, the origin point of the alpha timeline you could say, and every moment there are new branches of timelines and possibilities. From there, you have successful timelines and doomed timeline. An ultimate self will combine all of these. All version of Dave will include all timelines from that base universe. Rose as well, all versions from that base universe.

Perhaps there are timelines that diverge from the alpha with, say, a less abusive Bro, or a non alcoholic Mom Lalonde. It will also include timelines that maybe Rose was alcoholic before the game began, or even one’s where Dave may have had an even worse childhood. They all are diverging timelines from the same base. So Davebot and Rosebot both have all of those possible timelines in their heads and memories.

Luckily due to their non organic makeup, it is easier for them to sort through all of it, without the biological aspect of emotions to get in the way. If they did have biological bodies, I have no doubt the process would leave them split and having very intense internal struggles. I know Dave’s who diverged from canon because they went apeshit and killed Bro. Davebot has those timelines in his head supposedly.

It is a internal war of all kinds of morals and stand points. Most Dave’s are pretty straightforward, but there are too many possibilities.

The same can be said of Rose.

However, if we look at Dirk, he is a special case.

I am not going to diagnose Dirk any mental ilnesses. But I will pull from both people I know and my own research/experience.

Ultimate Dirk is the combination of not only all of his possible timelines from the base alpha timeline, but also all of his Splinters. One such splinter affects one of his main Splinters, and leads to severe issues.

I am talking about Lil Cal. Yes, he counts as a splinter. ARquiusprite, Caliborn, and a portion of Gamzee were all put into the Lil Cal puppet. And considering how Caliborn has experience eating the soul/dominating the soul of others who inhabit the same body, I have no doubt he did as such in Lil Cal. But it was a mix then. And Lil Cal went on to affect Bro, manipulating his mind and making him even more fucked up. Instilling extremely Toxic Masculinity, Misogynistic behavior, etc into Bro over the years. Caliborn’s influence is big here, considering his own misogyny and toxic masculinity ideology.

Therefore, all Bro’s that were affected by Lil Cal are included in Ult Dirk, but so are all those Lil Cals.

So now we have an idea as to why he may behave so… well. Shitily. It isn’t an excuse, but a possible explanation. His behavior is vile. So now we look at Dirk in canon that we have seen.

Dirk was so lonely he created a copy of his own mind, and it just spat his deepest fears in his face. I think Hal actually had a hand in Dirk’s self loathing, what with “being the same person.” Dirk already hates himself, and he hates his splinters as well. But he doesn’t hate himself for “internalized homophobia”. Nope. He is very accepting of who he is, and accepts it. The only thing is, he knows who he is and accepts it, and he hates who he is. Or rather who he sees himself as.

So you put someone who hates himself, and combine him with all of his worse selves who also have a core of self loathing, and you get someone who truly loathes himself, and has an internal battle, with biology adding onto it, against himself. Because for all the bad versions, there are just as many good ones. But part of Dirk is self loathing. It’s almost at the core of who he is. Not to say he can’t heal and grow, I know he can.

But we know Dirk wants the best for his friends, his idea of how to give that to them is somewhat flawed already when he is a kid, and he trie to move past it as an adult, but a lot of who he is is the puppet master.

I believe the Homestuck^2 and Epilogue writers didn’t fully grasp this, in fact I think they accidentally portrayed him somewhat correct. Ultimate Dirk is an idiot who makes himself the bad guy to ensure his friends have a chance to be happy. Yes, he treated Jake and the others horribly. No doubt. That’s where they were wrong with him. See, it should be about a 50/50 balance of “bad” and “good”. He would still have left Jake, but perhaps a bit softer, with the idea of protecting everyone from who he is now. Because Dirk is fucking stupid and like that™.

But yes, he is a piece of fucking shit in the epilogues and HS^2, so they fucked up there. But they kind of accidentally showed him properly. Ultimate selves are also really fucking messy.

Pretty sure Hussie also just wanted another way to go further than God Tier too. So. Meh.

If you read all of this, thanks. I know it’s somewhat scattered, but I have a lot of thoughts on it as a whole. Not to mention that as someone who struggles with a God Complex, and with friends who suffer from Bipolar, BPD, and others who identify really strongly with Dirk and Ult Dirk, he just both frustrates me because I know he isn’t quite right, and also validates how I feel. But I have the brain to not go apeshit like him.

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