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wherethefireliliesgrow · 5 months

Text

Make Me Happy

Huh Yunjin x Reader

GENRE: fluff

TYPE: One Shot, Long Fic

INSPIRED BY: Make Me Happy-WheeIn

"And Zeus, with his mighty thunder in hand, ruled the sky and Olympus," you read, flipping to the next page of the storybook and showcasing the colorful pictures of Zeus.

It was a Saturday morning, and you were immersed in reading stories for the children at the hospital. As a child psychology major, you relished the opportunity to connect with different children each Saturday. Your love for children made spending time with them while earning extra credit a win-win situation.

"Zeus has a wife named Hera, the Queen of Gods," you continued, pointing to the illustrated photo of Hera on her throne.

"Sometimes Zeus made mistakes, like having other friends. Hera didn't like that, but they still ruled together on Mount Olympus."

“Ms. Y/N?” a cute voice squeaked from the circle of kids in front of you. It was a small girl with short blonde hair and thick glasses.

“Yes, Kayla?” you smiled at her.

“What is M-I-S-T-R-E-S-S-E-S?” Kayla squinted, trying to read from the book you were showing. The rest of the kids leaned forward, curious about the illustrations.

“M-I-S-T-R…” The word clicked in your head, and you looked at the little girl in shock. “Where did you learn that word?”

“There,” Kayla pointed at the bottom corner of the book with her small finger.

You quickly turned the book around to check the illustration. There, at the bottom, was a scribble of words written in black marker.

Friends? More like mistresses. LOL

“What the fuck?” you muttered under your breath.

This was one of the children’s books you brought from your department’s lounge, where they keep all materials used in class.

A chorus of oohs broke out around you at the sound of your mild exclamation.

“I mean, what the fuzz?” you hastily changed your choice of words, hoping the hospital staff didn’t hear what you just said. “What the fuzzballs.”

Luckily, the children giggled at that, immediately distracted when a boy named Jake decided to share the story about how he swallowed his cat’s fuzzballs and ended up in the hospital.

The storybook took you longer to finish reading as you made sure to check every page before showing the kids the illustrations. Thankfully, there wasn’t any more writing in the rest of the book. You covered the words with a Post-It before returning it to the lounge.

It happened again after a few weeks. You were reading a Dora the Explorer book to the children, and there it was, in the smack middle of the book, a sentence scribbled in the same scrawly, obnoxiously bolded handwriting.

“Can you find the chocolate tree?” you read before staring at the page in horror.

This chick is blind, FR.

The kids whispered, trying to understand what the handwriting meant.

“C-H-I-C-K…chick!” Carter, a red-haired boy, exclaimed loudly, proud of himself for being able to read it.

“There aren’t any chickens in Dora,” Kayla chastised him, shaking her head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“There is too,” he huffed, pressing a smudgy finger onto the page. “It says here! C-H-I-C-K. Chick.”

“Well, there’s only the big red hen. No chicks,” Kayla insisted, standing up to grab the book from your hands. The situation was about to get worse in a few seconds as you saw Carter’s face redden in frustration.

“Okay! That’s enough story time for today,” you quickly stood up, snapping the book shut. “Who wants to play Monopoly?”

“ME! ME! ME!” The kids screamed in excitement, forgetting the book altogether. It was a relief that kids forget about things so easily.

You, on the other hand, did not forget about this.

“Someone keeps leaving nasty comments in the children's books,” you huffed, dropping the Dora book in front of your best friend, Chaeryeong.

You had found her sitting in front of one of the long tables, peacefully eating her lunch in your department’s lounge. The room was slightly crowded, filled with students doing their projects or chatting with each other before classes.

Narrowing her eyes at your rude entrance, Chaeryeong slowly took off her headphones and dropped her chopsticks.

“No hello beautiful?” she asked, rolling her eyes playfully. “Why are you reading children's books anyway? Are you seven years old or something?”

“I’m reading them for the kids at the hospital,” you said impatiently, flipping open to the page where the messy handwriting was located.

“See? This person keeps writing in these books! The kids keep reading them out!”

“This chick blind, for real?” Chaeryeong snickered after reading it aloud. “Well, this person has a good point. Dora IS blind as fuck.”

You huffed, annoyed at how unserious the raven-haired girl was. But before you could open your mouth, a soft chuckle came from the table next to yours. You turned your head to come face to face with the queen bee and the captain of the volleyball team, Huh Yunjin. She grinned at you as she casually leaned on her elbows, not hiding the fact that she was eavesdropping on your conversation as the rest of her friends were engrossed in another conversation.

“See? Even Yunjin unnie agrees,” Chaeryeong said, slyly bringing Yunjin into the conversation.

She knew about your little crush on the captain ever since freshman year. You were just too chicken to strike up a conversation with her, and she was flirty by default, breaking hearts left and right. You just didn’t want to go through the heartbreak, after seeing so many girls crying in the bathroom over her.

Your eyes met Yunjin’s chocolate ones, her bright gaze felt like it was penetrating your soul. People weren’t kidding about her beauty; she really was a sight to look at. You felt your face flush as her gaze never left yours.

“Yeah, she definitely needs to get herself some glasses,” Yunjin pushed her headband a bit higher to keep her orange hair out of her face. “But I support an unbothered queen.”

Yunjin let out a little laugh, her nose scrunching adorably. You couldn’t help but stare, mesmerized by the way her full lips pulled back to show her glistening white teeth.

“Stop being gay,” Chaeryeong whispered, nudging you with her legs to wake you out of the trance.

Huffing in embarrassment and annoyance, you grabbed the Dora book and the rest of your stuff and started to put them into your bag.

“Where are you going?” Chaeryeong asked.

You could see the volleyball captain staring at you from the corner of your eye, and your ears flushed a deeper red.

“I’m going to find someone who understands how serious this situation is,” you ignored the soft snickers coming from both of the girls and turned around to walk out of the lounge.

“Let me know if you found someone who managed to get that chick a pair of glasses,” Chaeryeong called from behind you, laughter in her voice.

Cute. That was the first thing Yunjin thought when she saw you during the freshman orientation.

She was there to recruit people into the volleyball team when she noticed you, sitting in the second row, eyes barely open, mouth slightly agape as a few wisps of hair fell into your face when you started to doze off.

Ignoring the knowing looks of her teammates, she intentionally tried to get close to you, all but failing drastically. She ended up recruiting all of your close friends into the volleyball team, all but you. You were definitely not a land animal; that was all that Yunjin could say after watching you fall face-first onto the ground at any given chance.

But at least her efforts weren’t all gone to waste. Having recruited Chaeryeong and your roommate Yeji onto the team meant that she could see you in the bleachers in every game and often see you swing by during practice. Her delusional self convinced her that you were there to see her, but deep down she knew that you never even spared her a second glance.

Like today, you had once again rushed away from her as if she was the most menacing thing in the room, and you wanted nothing but to end the conversation with her. Was she really this scary? Or had you found out about her obsession with you?

“You should try to talk to her more, you know?” Chaeryeong said, raising her eyebrows as she watched her captain gaze after you leaving the room.

“Huh?” Yunjin quickly composed herself, leaning back in her chair. “With who?”

“Y/N. I know you like her.” The raven-haired girl said with a grin. “And I approve.”

“Pfft, I don’t even know her that well.” Yunjin whispered, lowering her voice to make sure her friends didn’t hear this conversation.

“I’m not Dora. I see how you look at her,” Chaeryeong pushed.

“I—I don’t look at her differently.”

Yunjin stood her ground, staring at Chaeryeong, ready to deny everything that came out of the younger girl’s mouth. But Chaeryeong wasn’t intimidated, shrugging nonchalantly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“She finds your jokes in the books funny. Don’t let her reaction fool you.”

Laughing at Yunjin’s expression, Chaeryeon added, “I know your ugly handwriting.”

With that, the slender girl slipped her bag onto her shoulder and stood up, smiling mischievously at the blushing captain in front of her.

“Can’t believe it took you two years to make a move.”

Unconvincingly as it sounded, it really started with boredom.

Yunjin was alone in the student lounge last semester, skipping her least favorite class from Professor “Dead-Eye” Yoo and taking the liberty of finally having some alone time. Yunjin knew she was quite popular, being the captain and all, but sometimes she just wanted to go back to being that shy gamer girl she once was.

The lounge was deserted, and Yunjin flopped onto the sofa she sometimes saw you sitting on in the far-right corner. A couple of bookshelves were situated next to the sofa, completely filled with children’s books.

Scrunching her eyes in confusion about why there were so many books for kids when it was a university department lounge, Yunjin decided not to question it and got to read to kill time. But being attentive was not her strongest trait, so she soon relented to her immaturity and boredom.

Grabbing a sharpie from her bag, she started to leave dumb comments here and there in different books, as if she was the biggest book reviewer in the world. It was an immature and stupid thing to do, she knows. But at least it somehow managed to catch your attention, albeit months later.

God must’ve taken pity on her, watching her suffer through countless blind dates that her friends had arranged her to through her first two years of college, finally giving her the chance to know you better.

It was a few days after her encounter with you at the lounge with Chaeryeong, and she found you scribbling down in a brown notebook on the sofa next to the bookshelves again, this time alone. Deciding to brave herself just once, she took her breath and mustered all of her confidence before making her way towards you and flopped down onto the empty space next to you. She was going to take a chance and take Chaeyeong’s words as advice.

“Hey Y/N.” Yunjin gave you a boyish charming grin, her orange hair tousled perfectly across her leather jacket. She was effortlessly cool, and her sudden close proximity made your face heat up.

“Uh, hi, Yunjin-ssi.” You quickly bowed in respect.

“Please drop the honorifics.” The captain waved her hand, giving you a wink. “Just Yunjin is fine.”

You nodded, eyes flittering from Yunjin’s mesmerizing large ones to the record book in your hand. Unsure of what to do, you decided to awkwardly continue writing.

“What are you doing?” Yunjin slightly leaned towards you, her vanilla perfume invading your senses.

“Um... I-” You shook your head to gather your thoughts, “I’m keeping track of the books that were written on. We would have to replace them.”

“Ahh… the Dora book?”

“Yeah. I also found a new one this week, in the Ice Age books.”

“Really? What did it say?” Yunjin asked, trying to keep her face casual.

“It simply just wrote LIA next to Sid’s face.” You said, biting your lip to hold in your smile.

Yunjin, on the other hand, let out a booming laugh, enjoying the joke way too much.

“I’ll let Lia know she’s famous.” Yunjin said, after taking a few minutes to finally come down from her laughter.

Even though she was the one who wrote it, she still found it funny that her roommate, Lia, looked exactly like Sid the sloth when she was sleeping.

Trying to hide your grin, you said, “It’s not funny. The kids keep reading out the comments.”

The sight of your smiling made Yunjin’s heart soar. She was proud of herself for succeeding in making you smile, despite you not knowing it was her who left the comments. With this affirmation, Yunjin continued to make jokes with you as you talked for a bit. She would do anything to charm you, and she already had a plan hatched in her brain, something to do with your notebook.

“I’ll talk to you later, Y/N.” The captain squeezed your hand as she saw her friends calling for her.

You were disappointed to see her go, but you knew that she had better things to do than talk to you. She was, after all, one of the most popular and busiest students in your major.

“See you.” You muttered, ears red at the feeling of her hand on yours.

The captain walked towards the door, before turning back and raising her hand as a goodbye in a goofy boyish way that made your heart flutter.

It happened again, but this time, it was in your record book. Again, in obnoxiously bolded and capitalized letters, the mystery person managed to annoy the hell out of you, but you couldn’t help but find a bit of amusement in them.

HI :)

They had written this in the smack middle of a new page in your notebook, wasting the entire page. Deciding to write back for the first time, you took out your pen and wrote a small line under their loud greeting.

Don’t write in my notebook :)

Thinking this was able to stop the culprit from writing anything else, you shut the book satisfied. Oh, how wrong you were.

The next day, you found a light pink post-it stuck on top of the original page.

BUT I WANT TO BE FRIENDS :(

Annoyed at the culprit, but also at yourself for finding them cute for using a post-it instead of just writing on your book.

No.

You wrote back, slightly hesitating before slamming shut the notebook altogether. Although intrigued and wanting to know who was behind the writing, it was probably best that you don’t encourage them.

“Getting ready to dive deep into another children’s book of yours?” A familiar voice broke you out of your thoughts.

Your heart couldn't help but lurch at the sight of the orange-haired captain smiling at you, her nose scrunched adorably.

“Yeah, any recommendations? I know you love these books.” You teased back, already comfortable with her presence.

Despite not really getting the chance to talk to her that much, she had this aura that made you feel calm and relaxed, as if you could trust her with anything.

“I’ll recommend one only if you read it to me.” Yunjin flirted easily, giving you a charming grin and wink.

Caught off guard at her response, your face turned a slight shade of pink. “I-”

“I’m just kidding, Y/N.” The taller girl laughed at your flustered state. “I used to read ‘The Jungle Book’ to my sister when she was a kid, and she loved it. Maybe the kids at the hospital would love it too.”

"You have a younger sister?” You asked. This was new information to you, but then again, you and Yunjin never really talked before this semester.

“Yeah, we have a really big age difference though. She’s 10 years younger than me.” Yunjin’s eyes glinted at the mention of her sister.

“She must be really happy to have you as a sister.”

“I hope so." Yunjin said with a sad smile, “I haven’t seen her in a couple of years. She’s still in the US with the rest of my family.”

“It must’ve been hard for you to move here all alone.” You hesitantly reached out your hand to squeeze the Captain’s forearm in comfort.

She gave you a grin at your touch, and your heart fluttered at how her eyes seem to twinkle whenever she met yours.

“I’m fine now.” She said, putting her other hand on top of yours. “I made a lot of friends, and also, I got the chance to meet you.”

The flirty queen-bee you knew was back. You cleared your throat to shake off the nerves she managed to give you and pulled back from the trance she pulled you into.

Quickly checking your watch as an excuse to avoid looking into her eyes again, you noticed it was almost five p.m., the time Chaeryeon left for practice.

“Don’t you have practice?” You asked.

“Nope.” Yunjin made a pop sound at the P, which you found adorable. “We have a game next week, so I gave the girls a two-day break.”

“You’ll be watching us, right?” She asked, her eyes hopeful.

You nodded, “I never missed a game. I’m Chaeryeon’s and Yeji’s number one fan.” You grinned, proud of yourself.

Yunjin merely pouted at this, “You should cheer for me sometime. I’m playing too, you know.” She nudged you.

You laughed, trying to shake off your nervousness at her blatant flirting. “You already have a lot of fangirls.”

Yunjin whined, begging, “I don’t know them, but I know you. None of my friends wear my number because they’re on the court with me.“

“I’ll think about it.“ you laughed at her antics. Although she was a year older than you, she managed to act like a little kid sometimes.

After talking (more like flirting on Yunjin’s side) for another while, Yunjin left to go to her part-time job at the diner, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The feeling she gave you messed up your thoughts, and you were worried that your old crush on her will be reignited.

She was just friendly. She thought of you as a friend. You convinced yourself. You needed to see her as a friend too, before you get your heart broken.

“Maybe I need other friends than Yunjin.“ you muttered to yourself before opening the notebook once more.

No.

You crossed out the word and wrote.

Fine. What’s your name?

Turns out, the person behind the obnoxious block letters was worth talking to. You’ve been texting the mysterious person for the past few weeks, and they managed to entertain you and connect on a deeper level. Never getting a reply to their name, only with a doodle of a snake, you exchanged numbers without knowing each other's names, and it was better like that. To talk about your day anonymously.

You were, however, curious about the person behind the texts and writing. They were considerate, easy to talk to, and extremely funny. You honestly felt that you could be really good friends with them. From books to life goals, you could talk to them about anything and everything.

It was a bit unnerving how someone in your major knew all this about you, but at the same time, you felt that they were someone you could trust, and they felt the same way about you after sharing some of their family problems with you.

You noticed you were developing a sort of attachment to this person, as if they were your soulmate. You found yourself instantly texting back whenever the snake contact popped up on your phone, and when you were texting, you were re-reading your past conversations. They were a great way for you to get Yunjin off your mind, which you found to get harder every time she stopped by to say hello.

“You’re late, Shin.” Chaewon, the co-captain of the volleyball team, chastised a wind-swept Yuna as she slammed open the door to the locker room and hurried to change into her team uniform.

Yuna was the newest addition to the team and was also the cousin of Y/N. (As soon as Yunjin heard of this, she immediately treated Yuna with patience and additional care, not that she liked you or anything, just her showing affection to her juniors).

The volleyball team was getting ready for the final match before the semi-finals. They had an away game with a nearby school, and Yuna, being Yuna, had overslept and missed the bus to the game. Yuna quickly bowed her head in apology, and Chaewon simply patted her head in assurance and ushered everyone to warm up.

“What took you so long?” Yeji asked, “I thought Y/N said she would drive you instead.”

"She did. But it took her half an hour to get ready because she was busy giggling at her phone like a love-sick schoolgirl.” Yuna said, exasperation in her voice.

At that, Chaeryeon, who was standing near the two girls tying her hair, let out a laugh. “Yeah, she’s been doing that pretty often. She must have a crush or something.”

“You think so?” Eunchae, one of the tallest yet youngest players, chimed in, exposing the fact that she was eavesdropping.

“That’s new; I thought she would just end up being a single woman and adopt all of the kids in the hospital.” Yeji mused, happy that her roommate is finally interested in someone. Throughout the two years she lived with you, you seemed to show zero interest in love.

“Must be nice to be liked by unnie.” Eunchae said dreamily, causing the rest of the girls around her to fake gag and give a round of protest.

“Wish it was me instead.”

“Who are you dreaming about dating?” Yunjin suddenly appeared, wrapping her hands around the tall girl. “My baby manchae is off limits until she’s 40.”

The captain had returned from a quick discussion with their coach and had gone into the locker room to usher the girls out for warm-up.

“40? Do you want me to die single?” Eunchae furrowed her brows and pouted, “And besides, we were talking about Y/N unnie’s love life, not mine.“

“Y/N? What about Y/N?” Yunjin tried to ask nonchalantly, leading the girls out of the locker room.

“She has a crush on someone.” Chaeryeon said slyly, paying close attention to Yunjin’s reaction.

The orange-haired girl kept her face composed, but in reality, her heart was beating at the thought of you liking someone, that wasn’t her. A sense of hollowness and jealousy crept into her skin.

“That’s nice. Do you know who?”

The girls shrugged, and Yunjin decided not to push anymore. The way Chaeryeon looked at her was obvious enough to blow off her cover and reveal her affection towards you, and she was not keen on letting others know.

Putting on a smile so bright that could make any of the people in the crowd swoon, Yunjin tried to push back her thoughts and jealousy, waving to the people in the stand as the team entered the court.

Cheers came from all around her, cheering her name every time she sent the ball flying at deadly speed toward her rivals. She wasn’t called the Ace of SNU for nothing. Yet, as she scanned the crowds after every point earned, she hoped you would also be there yelling her name.

“Good game.” Chaeryeon whispered in Yunjin’s ear as they gathered together in a group hug to celebrate another victory.

The crowds were wild around them, chanting their names as they celebrated their ticket to the semi-finals.

“But you better step up your other game before it’s too late, captain.” The raven-haired girl gave Yunjin a grin before sauntering off to the stands, where you were hugging Yeji in celebration.

You were wearing Chaeryeon’s spare uniform, proudly displaying the Lee on your back, while waving a self-made Yeji and Yuna flag. You looked so cute with your hair in a ponytail, with two lines of blue drawn horizontally across your cheeks to represent SNU.

At that moment, Yunjin wished nothing more than to see you wearing her uniform instead.

She better step up her game.

So…have you ever been in love before?

You were late at night studying in the school library a few days after the game when your phone buzzed, indicating a text message. It was from your mystery friend.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at their sudden question, before typing out a quick response.

No, I don’t think so. Have you?

As their text bubble indicated typing, a full minute passed before their response came through.

No.

Followed by another long pause.

But I wish I did.

Biting your lip in thought, you were unsure of what to make of this sudden confession from your friend. You were developing an attachment to them, which seemed foolish when you didn't even know what they looked like, let alone their name.

It was truly pathetic; the two people in college for whom you had feelings were the queen bee of the school, with a long line of admirers, and the other was some random faceless stranger about whom you knew everything and nothing.

What got you thinking about this? You typed back.

A girl. But she has feelings for someone else.

So your little mystery friend does have someone on their mind. You tried to push down your disappointment and the slight burn of rejection as you replied.

Have you tried telling her how you feel about her?

No, I would probably scare her off or something.

I’m sure you won’t.

It took them another five minutes before they finally responded back.

What about you? Is there anyone on your mind?

Yunjin, the fiery-haired girl, instantly came to mind. Recent interactions with her had given the impression of growing closeness. She took the time to chat with you in the student lounge, held your bag, walked you back to your dorm after study sessions, and even brought treats from the diner when her shift ended. Though it felt like more to you, the realization struck that she viewed you simply as a friend.

Yeah, this girl. But she sees me as a friend.

Yunjin's heart skipped a beat upon reading your reply. It confirmed Chaeryeon's statement – you had your eyes set on someone else. She pondered the possibilities, considering potential candidates. Was it the charming Shin Ryujin from the softball team? Perhaps someone from the hospital where you volunteered? Or could it be one of your close friends, like Chaeryeon or Yeji? The uncertainty left Yunjin feeling a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

Did you tell them how you feel?

No, I would probably scare them off or something.

Despite her heartbreak, your text made her smile a bit. There you were again, teasing her by copying her sentence.

I’m sure you won’t, pretty girl.

How do you know if I’m pretty or not?

I just do.

You couldn’t help but blush at their compliment. They always managed to say something earnestly that made your heart flutter, similar to the way Yunjin always seemed to have an effect on you.

You should take this confidence and confess to the girl you like before it’s too late. What’s there to lose?

You have a valid point…

I’ll work on confessing to them before the end of the year, but only if you be my wingwoman.

Your wingwoman? How? I don’t know anything about them.

Just share with me the little things you like as advice.

Deal.

So…better start listing.

Hmm, I’d say start with flowers.

Oh, and little notes are pretty cute, too.

"The Ultimate Checklist to How to Get That Girl? Seriously?" Chaewon read over Yunjin's shoulder incredulously.

Flushing a deep red, the captain quickly slammed shut her notebook and pushed the short-haired girl away.

"Stop snooping!"

"You know you can just ask her out, right? Y/N." The shorter girl reached over to snatch the book from Yunjin, quickly scanning over the checklists.

Yunjin had managed to devise a checklist incorporating all the things you mentioned in your previous text conversations with her about your preference as her 'wingwoman’. She had compiled recommendations on what someone should do to win over someone's heart, hoping to win over yours.

"I can't. She likes someone else." Yunjin said defeatedly, her shoulders sagging.

"Who can resist the Huh Yunjin charms? I'm pretty sure everyone would love to date you." Chaewon snorted, amused by how her seemingly always confident friend was so hung up on you. This was a first.

"Not Y/N."

Although teasing her friends was in her DNA, Chaewon couldn't help but feel bad for her friend. Yunjin looked lost (kind of like a kicked puppy, but she wasn't going to say that to her face), and as co-captain of the team, it was a rule that she would need to support their captain whenever they needed help.

"Find, I'll help you." Chaewon sighed, looking at the long list and preparing herself mentally. It was going to be a long few months.

"Let me call the girls for backup."

“Another gift from your secret admirer?” Yeji teased when she saw you enter the shared dorm with a tray of hot coffee.

You had just returned from the library, preparing for your final exams, and found yet another gift waiting in front of your door.

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but your ears betrayed you by reddening. “There’s one for you.”

Yeji jumped up in excitement and went straight for the coffee, sighing contentedly as she sipped on it. “I’d just date them already.”

You had been receiving these little gifts for the past few weeks, and it was driving you crazy. Initially sweet, the mystery person never revealed themselves, making you suspicious of everyone. Additionally, you were concerned about how much they were spending on you. Although seemingly insignificant, the little gifts added up.

The first gift was a single rose and a typed note in front of your dorm room, a bit like a ransom note. The note included a cheesy pick-up line that you found endearing, despite yourself. Soon after came cute accessories, a new hair tie, and even a cute hippo plushie. Your admirer seemed to know a lot about you, even the things you lost.

They gifted you things you had listed out to your mystery friend. Could your admirer and your friend possibly be the same person?

“Oh, by the way, Yunjin and the team are coming over to discuss our strategies for the championship game, is that okay?” Yeji mentioned casually, trying to hide her grin.

Chaewon had called her earlier, letting her in on Yunjin’s huge crush on you and the plan to sweep you off your feet.

Panic filled your eyes as you looked up from your phone. You were still dressed in your "bum outfit," as Yeji would call it, consisting of old sweatpants and an oversized Nike hoodie – definitely not presentable.

“What? When?” You quickly surveyed the room, noticing a small pile of clothes and rushing to stuff them in the laundry basket.

“In about…”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Now.”

At that moment, you pulled your hair out of its messy bun and ran your fingers through it in a rush. Leave it to Yeji to embarrass you in front of Yunjin.

Before Yeji could open the door, it was slammed open, revealing a snow-covered Chaeryeon with her cheshire grin, followed by Chaewon, Lia, Yuna, and Yunjin. Your eyes met hers, and you got lost once again in her warm brown hues.

She looked particularly good today, with her fiery orange hair tucked into a gray woolen hat and dressed in a red leather jacket. She gave you a toothy smile before closing the door behind her.

“Hey, stranger, it’s been a while,” Yunjin said, pulling you into a hug, engulfing you in her sweet lavender perfume. “I missed you.”

You immediately blushed at this, still not used to her flirty nature.

“We had lunch together last Saturday.”

“Yeah, three days is way too long,” she sighed dramatically, her arms still wrapped around your shoulders. Her eyes scanned your features, as if she was trying to memorize every freckle and blemish.

“If you two are done flirting, we would like to start discussing tactics,” Chaewon said, her lips curled into a teasing smile as she saw Yunjin immediately pull her arm off of yours and turn beet red in embarrassment.

“I…” Yunjin muttered, before giving up coming up with an explanation and plopped down onto the sofa.

You busied yourself with schoolwork as the girls squeezed into the makeshift living room and focused on their strategy plan for the upcoming games. You watched them with adoration; it wasn’t often that you saw them together except for their games, and you loved how sweet their dynamic was. Chaewon was the one who kept everyone focused, Lia and Yeji were the encouraging ones, and Yunjin was the planner. She led the gameplays and tactics, ensuring everything was on track. The older girls also babied Yuna and Chaeryeon, making sure they understood everything.

You didn’t know Chaewon and Lia that well; they were Yunjin’s friends. Still, you could tell that they were just as sweet and caring as the captain was. However, you couldn’t help but think of the comment your mystery friend left in the Ice Age book whenever you looked at Lia. She did look a bit like a sloth, but the cutest one ever.

Hence, you decided to text your mystery friend.

Lia does kind of look like a sloth. But cuter.

As you sent out the text, a small buzz came from the living room.

Cuter as in your type?

No. But you did her dirty by writing her name next to Sid.

Another buzz. You furrowed your brows and looked toward the direction of the living room.

Who IS your type then?

Someone funny, I guess. Goofy but smart.

Buzz. It felt too coincidental. Your palms started sweating at the thought that you might finally discover who was behind those texts that accompanied you through long nights and motivated you.

Hmm…is there someone like that in our school?

Yeah, there is.

As soon as you sent out a text, another buzz came from the living room. At that moment, you were convinced that your friend was one of the girls in the room.

Is it the person you mentioned you liked?

You silently leaned forward on your bed to peek at the girls obscured by the sofa, lying on their stomachs in front of a strategy board. You froze at the sight of Yunjin biting her full lip and looking at her phone, engrossed in whatever she was reading. The rest of the girls were talking with each other, none of them looking at their phones.

Could it possibly be the orange-haired girl all along? The girl you've been texting about was the one receiving your texts. If they were Yunjin, then she would possibly be the one sending you your gifts.

The pounding in your heart was so loud, engulfing you in erratic thumps. You couldn’t even hear the girls talking; all you could focus on was the possibility that Yunjin was the person behind the texts.

Deciding to leap in faith just this once, you texted back.

Yes. The captain of the volleyball team, do you know her?

Another buzz followed by the screen of Yunjin’s phone was enough to prove that she was indeed the person all along. Eyes scanning through the sentence you sent to her, Yunjin’s brown eyes widened, and she immediately threw her phone to the side, covering her face with her arms. She let out a muffled scream and kicked her legs in excitement, startling the rest of the girls.

You couldn't help but laugh at her adorableness. Putting on your headphones, you pretended to be studying while trying to calm your erratic heart. Muffled shouts and laughter could be heard from the girls, probably picking on their captain.

For the first time in her life, it seemed that fate had taken favor in Yunjin. Having dedicated all of her time to school and volleyball, she never had the privilege of starting a relationship with someone. Volleyball itself took up most of her time, with her parents and her personal coach insisting on her becoming the best player in the league and eventually joining the national team of South Korea. She wasn’t unhappy with her life, but she wouldn’t call herself happy.

Sure, her friends set her up on several blind dates, but she never liked them enough to want something more. She was only interested in being the best at volleyball and being the best captain for the girls, nothing more.

That was, until, she met you.

She was enamored by you right from the start, with your shy smile and soft features. She wanted nothing more than to get to know you. After finally getting the chance to talk to you after two years, she had fallen for you, deep. All those late-night talks through text made her understand that you were more than a mere crush, more than any of the girls on those blind dates. The way you viewed the world made her want to become something more to you. She wanted to be included in your world.

Life started to mean more than just volleyball, and she noticed that you made her happy, actually happy.

She hoped that you would give her the chance to do the same for you. Now, with the revelation that the person she worried so much about you liking was her, she was beyond the moon. She just hoped you wouldn’t be disappointed that she was the one behind the texts.

It was the Saturday after the eventful day, and Yunjin was nervous. She blamed it on the finals game they had tomorrow, but in reality, it was the first time she was alone with you after knowing that you liked her.

After running to you during her lunch break from her shift at the diner two months ago, she had established a weekly routine of getting lunch with you every Saturday. The diner she worked at was near the hospital she volunteered at, so grabbing lunch together before visiting the kids was another highlight of your week.

"Did something happen?" You asked as you sat across the captain.

You had arrived at the booth a while ago, and the captain hadn’t said much but to order. She was fidgeting with the straw of her iced coffee, bending it over repeatedly as she looked at anywhere but you.

"What? No!" Yunjin’s eyes flitted to yours, before quickly looking away again.

"Nothing’s wrong."

"Then how come you’re avoiding me?" You asked, slightly pouting.

Yunjin nearly kissed you on the spot at the sight of you pouting cutely.

She had been refusing to meet your eyes because she knew that the second she did, all defenses would fall, and she would just confess her love to you. It has been like that for the last few days, ever since she knew that you liked her back; she wanted nothing more than to have you in her arms. But she hadn’t thought of a plan on how to ask you out yet; she also had to confess to you that she was the one behind the texts. This scared her, worried that you would hate her for lying to you about not knowing who you were.

"I-I’m not." Yunjin stuttered, still refusing to look at you in the eye.

Before you could reply, the waitress brought over your food. You always got the same thing, blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs on the side, while Yunjin always had her protein lunch filled with eggs, chicken, and tofu. It didn’t really look good, but Yunjin made sure her body was in the best shape for volleyball.

Today’s meal was slightly different. The waitress had also brought in a plate with two gingerbread cookies, both with cute red buttons and frosty smiles.

"We give out gingerbread cookies to our customers every year around Christmas time," the waitress explained, her eyes twinkling mischievously, "Enjoy!"

Yunjin watched you from the corner of her eyes as you excitedly took a few photos of the cookies.

"Look Yunjinnie, they’re holding hands!"

Yunjin wished she could hold hands with you.

"This one looks more like you." You giggled, moving the plate forward to show her.

The restaurant workers seemingly did not put their heart into decoration because the one you insisted that looked like Yunjin had lopsided eyes and a way out of proportion mouth, so wide that it went higher than the eyes.

"Are you saying I look ugly?" She said, pretending to be offended.

"What? No!" You interjected, blushing a deep red and pulling back the plate to inspect the cookies. "I meant that you always have a big smile like this, meeting your eyes."

That’s because I only smile like this when I’m with you, Yunjin thought.

"Here, try one." You broke the cookies apart and raised one of the cookies towards Yunjin’s face.

"I can’t. I have to stay in shape for tomorrow's game." Yunjin was taken aback at your forwardness. She was normally the one flirting, and you were the shy one. It seems that the roles have reversed today.

"C’mon. Just one bite wouldn’t hurt." You wheedled. "Please?"

Yunjin’s eyes finally met yours. Big mistake.

Your eyes, every so bright, were staring at her pleadingly, with a hint of something that Yunjin couldn't quite put a finger on. Was it affection? Adoration?

Nevertheless, the captain immediately gave in and took a bite of the cookie in your hands. She would always do anything for you.

"It’s…It’s good." Yunjin managed to say, her gaze still locked with yours.

You let out a satisfied grin and brought the same cookie to your lips, pausing slightly before taking a bite.

Yunjin’s brain went into a full system shutdown. YOU JUST ATE THE COOKIE SHE HAD. IT WAS AN INDIRECT KISS. I REPEAT. INDIRECT KISS.

“Mhmmm… It’s so good. Tastes like Christmas.” You said, finally breaking eye contact and looking at the rest of the cookies in front of you.

“It’s almost the end of the year.” You said softly, before looking up again at the flustered girl.

End of the year.

Yunjin’s heart went into rapid speed, and her blood went cold. Could you have possibly known that she was the one texting you? How else would you know the importance of the end of the year to her? She had promised you that she would confess to her crush before the end of the year if only you would become her wingwoman.

Shaking her head slightly to push out the possibility, she tried to forget about her ‘delusions’. You didn’t know. There was no way.

Thankfully, you changed the topic to her games tomorrow, saving her from embarrassing herself.

“Will you be at the game tomorrow?” Yunjin asked as she walked you to the hospital after lunch.

“Of course.” You said, gently holding onto her arm to keep yourself from slipping on the icy roads. (Yunjin’s heart still stuttered whenever you did that).

“I never miss a game, remember?”

“Will you-Will you be cheering for me?” Yunjin asked hesitantly.

“Hmm? I always cheer for you girls, pabo.” You laughed, nudging the taller girl.

“No, I mean,” Yunjin looked at your hands clutching tightly on her arm. Deciding to brave herself for the first time today, she asked, “Will you wear my number?”

She watched as your cheeks turn pink at her words.

“I don’t know…you have quite a lot of fangirls already.” You answered, hitting both of you with déjà vu.

“But none of them are you.” The orange-haired girl stopped walking, gently pulling you around to look at her.

To say you were in deep was an understatement. You had fallen hard for the captain, in love even. Her beauty and confidence were what had drawn you to her at first, but after getting to really know her through those texts, you had started to fall in love with her. Her mind, the way she thought, and her endless patience… she was something that was too good to be true.

“What are you trying to say?” You asked, searching her eyes for any hint of hesitation. You found none, only determination and softness in those honey-brown hues.

“I’m saying…” Yunjin paused, composing herself before she stared back into your eyes, “I like you, Y/N, a lot.”

“And it would be nice if I can take you out on a date.” She continued, her eyes gleaming hopefully.

“But only if you want to.” She hastily added.

You laughed at the last sentence. She was always so considerate, worried that she would be doing something without your consent. And that was what you loved about her.

“I would love to.” You said, before standing on your tiptoes to kiss the tip of her frozen nose. Yunjin froze at the feeling of your soft lips on her skin.

“But only if you win the game tomorrow.”

Yunjin let out a sigh of relief before gently wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you closer. All those sleepless nights dreaming of you were worth it.

“Easy.”

As the captain got ready for bed, a familiar buzz came from her phone. It was from you.

I better see your jersey in front of my door tomorrow, Huh Yunjin.

Yunjin let out a scream, scaring Lia, who was already passed out, and causing her to fall off her own bed.

"What the hell?" Lia groaned from the floor, looking up at her roommate.

"She knows it’s me. And she’s okay with it!" Yunjin said, giggling like a schoolgirl and dancing around. "She likes me back!"

Sighing, Lia slowly dragged herself up from the floor and laid horizontally back on her bed, too tired to crawl back under the covers.

"Go to bed, Yunjin."

Giggling to herself, the captain quickly texted you goodnight, receiving another sweet message from you.

As she went to turn off the lights, she looked at her roommate, sleeping with her mouth open and dressed in her greenish-grey fuzzy pajamas.

Lia did indeed look like a sloth. A cute one.

“Why does Yunjin-unnie have a sunburn?” Eunchae whispered, not so quietly.

“That’s not a sunburn, that’s the glow of love, manchae.” Yeji laughed, patting the taller girl’s head affectionately.

“Love? What?” Eunchae furrowed her brows, clearly out of the loop.

"Someone in the stands is rocking her jersey," Chaeryeon added, grinning mischievously, despite Yunjin shooting her a disapproving look as they continued warming up for the game.

“One-third of the crowd is wearing her number,” Eunchae whined, scanning the crowd again for Yunjin’s possible lover.

You waved shyly to the girls (mostly to Yunjin) as you moved to sit on the bleachers with your friends. You had found a box containing Yunjin’s jersey and a light blue bandana, along with a single rose in front of your dorm room when you woke up in the morning.

You had put on the jersey and decided to tie your hair with the silky bandana, and adding a dash of sparkling highlighter. You wanted to look your best for the captain.

Unable to resist herself, Yunjin made her way towards the railings near the bleachers, ignoring the teasing hoots coming from her members. You walked down a few levels to meet her at the other side of the railing.

“Hi,” she said cutely, her eyes sparkling in happiness as she checked you out. You looked so good in her jersey.

“Hi, Yunjinnie.”

“You look good.” She bit her lip and reached over to hold your hands in hers.

“You better win this game, Yunjin. I’m looking forward to our date.”

“Of course. I play better when I’m in a good mood.” Yunjin leaned over and pressed her lips on your forehead.

“And you make me happy.”

“Aw man...” Eunchae said sadly, watching her captain and you cuddling up together. “I wanted to date Y/N-unnie.”

“You’re too young for dating, Hong Eunchae.” The rest of the girls said in unison, before grabbing the maknae away from the scene.

It's a long one!

A bit of fluff for Christmas :)

Thoughts?

#huh yunjin #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x reader #le sserafim #le sserafim x reader #gxg #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #wlw #kpop #kpop fic #le sserafim x you #le sserafim x y/n #fluff oneshot #fem reader #huh jennifer #wherethefireliliesgrow #long reads

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cat3ch1sm · 9 months

Text

🐇~ HI EVERYONE! welcome back to my account :) im excited for today’s post because this is my first across the spiderverse writing! i hope you guys like it lol i couldn’t stop thinking about it (spiderman is my entire life now)

🐇𓆩♡𓆪☁️ fem!reader, sfw

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮- 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 <𝟑

~ miles g really does not like admitting he likes someone/ or even the idea of liking anyone at all. he obviously has things that are higher priority and he thinks it’s really a waste of time for the most part.

~ but then you come along,and he’s immediately enamored. like, imagine you’re just casually walking by miles while he’s sitting on his phone or whatever, and you accidentally bump into his leg. he looks up immediately to tell you to watch it, but instead is met with the most beautiful face he has literally ever seen. he legit double takes and completely forgets to even talk. you look down abruptly and are like “oh, i’m so sorry, i wasn’t paying attention!” you wait for him to say “it’s okay” or something like that, but when you look at him his expression is just blank. you kinda wave awkwardly and leave after that, and he watches you leave until you’re out of sight.

~ after you’re gone, he just sits there for a second before frowning and cursing at himself for being so caught up.

~…. “shit.”

~ miles g isn’t really the type to watch from afar, at least not for long. but for a short time, he does just watch you, admiring the way you do every little thing- smiling at your phone, the way you walk, how nice your voice sounds- things like that. it’s not long before he decides to make his move.

~the next time he sees you, he makes his move, cornering you when you’re alone and putting one arm beside your head so you can’t leave. needless to say, you’re definitely caught off guard when you turn around and are met with miles’ face- expression nonchalant and that unreadable glint in his eyes as usual.

~ yeah, don’t be fooled. miles is nervous as all hell and praying to every god imaginable that you don’t notice him shaking. but he isn’t the type to let fear or apprehension get in the way of something he wants.

~ “hey, you’re that guy i ran into the other day… um… hi!”

~ your smile almost makes him keel over. Jesus Christ

~ “hey, ma- glad you remember me. was wondering if you was tryna let me take you out sometime? i thought you were pretty.”

~ (yes, the whole atsv fandom has collectively agreed that prowler miles would call you “ma.” argue with the wall)

~ miles is crazy nervous for your response as he watches your expression furrow thoughtfully- but when you smile that smile again and say yes, he feels like a million weights have been lifted off his shoulder. sure, he’s the prowler, but he’s still a 15-year-old boy who probably hasn’t had a lot of experience in the dating arena.

~anyway, that was a fun little scenario- now let’s talk about miles actually going out with you, like how he is during the time where you’re going out but not quite exclusive.

~ the second he gets your socials, he’s all over them. he’s spending an amount of time he isn’t willing to disclose just stating at your pictures and admiring your beauty. he watches your TikToks religiously, liking them all, but literally immediately scrolls past the ones where you’re with any guy. he’s not jealous because he isn’t insecure, but he just does not care to see you with anyone else.

~ whenever you text him, unless he’s busy with prowler stuff, he’ll respond within like ten minutes at most. miles doesn’t want you to think for a second that he’s ignoring you or forgot about you. he has caught himself smiling slightly at his phone while he’s texting you every now and then, which he is so embarrassed about for no reason😭

~ yes, uncle aaron notices.

~ “aye, g, what’s got you cheesin’ at yo phone like that?”

~ “…nothin’, unc.”

~ “you know i can tell when you lyin’, right?”

~ “aw, c’mon-“

~”don’t even bother.”

- and rio notices, too.

~ “ay, miles, why are you on your phone so much lately? you know i don’t like- miles? what’s so funny on your phone?”

~ “nothing, mama.”

~ “nothing’s funny? then why are you smiling at your phone?”

~ “…uh…”

~ “waaaait…” *pause, hands on hips* “miles, are you talking to a girl?”

~ “mami!”

~ “so it is a girl! is it the same girl whose pictures you’ve been looking at lately?!”

~yes, she noticed that too.

~ “…mami!!”

~ “let me see!”

~ the next two minutes are miles and rio madly wrestling for his phone. (spoiler alert, rio wins.)

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kiss-me-cill-me · 2 months

Note

i’m not sure if anon has already requested a character for that song but if ur up for it CAN WE HAVE THAT SONG WITH JONATHAN CRANE. also i just listened to that song for the first time in like 3 years and got major deja vu lmao 😭

also ps i love u and ur writing !!!

This is related to another ask from an anon, requesting a fic based off of Katy Perry's song, The One That Got Away. I am so sorry to both of you that it's taken me forever to write this, but thank you for your patience and support <3

Now We Pay The Price | Pt. 1

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: Life hasn't turned out exactly the way you wanted it to. Isolated and distraught as you watch time slip by while you sit, trapped in Arkham, your only wish is to recapture the way that things used to be.

Warnings: Angst, whump, sexual themes but no explicit smut, mental health themes, obsession, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mention of needles, mention of sedatives, unrequited love, established past romantic relationship, ambiguity

A/N: I hardly ever write angst, so please be gentle with me lol. But with the song inspo, I couldn't help but go in that direction. Slightly nervous to post this, but also happy that I've branched out from my comfort zone a bit!

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

Lying on your stomach, feet in the air, you stretched the thin cotton sheets with your hand. Just enough to give them the tension you needed to glide a ballpoint pen over the fabric, scratching over and over the same mark to make it appear complete. This was far from the perfect medium for doodling - but sheets were what you had, and so they were what you used.

Even the pen was contraband. You knew you weren’t supposed to have it. What anyone thought you’d do with it… honestly, you had no idea. As if you could use a pen for anything other than what you were wrapped up in doing now - carefully and determinedly drawing hearts.

You stopped to rest your head for a moment on the pitifully thin pillow. Across the room, blank white concrete stared back at you. Day in, day out. Endless. The same room with the same walls.

Picking up the pen again, you placed the tip right in between the lobes of one of the many hearts. Scratch, scratch, scratch. A messy, zig-zagging line bisected the doodle.

Broken.

You sighed, and started to color a different heart, filling it with blue ink that didn’t seem very inclined to stick to the bed sheets. It was slow going. The deep azure tint reminded you of deoxygenated blood, like you would see in a textbook diagram. Once the heart was completely filled, you moved dutifully on to the next.

A rustling at your door made you jump. Quickly, you stuffed the pen under your pillow, and turned up the sheets to hide your drawings. It wouldn’t be very good for you if anybody saw them.

You sat up, arranging your rumpled jumpsuit as neatly as you could. Leather straps hung off the sides of your bed, and you spared them a glance, bristling at the memories of having them lashed over your body.

The metal door slid open slowly, until you could finally see…

Him. Your heart skipped a beat and a half as he stepped stiffly into the room, pulling the door shut behind him. He didn’t make a show of locking it, but it was still all too hard to miss the way his hand stopped short at the keyhole, before slipping into his pocket.

“Jonathan. I’m so glad-”

“Don’t call me that,” he bristled. “In here, we don’t know each other. Please. You always forget that.”

“...Dr. Crane,” you corrected yourself.

His tone was so bitter that you could feel it in the very back of your throat, trying to claw its way down to your heart. You swallowed, trying to bite back the taste.

“I’m sorry. I was just happy to see you.” You smiled, pushing through your discomfort, for his sake.

Crane was clearly agitated. He took a few steps into the room, before turning around and facing the door. For one brief moment, you couldn’t see his face, until finally he turned back. His eyes were ice as they stared down at you.

“Do you have any idea how difficult you’ve been making things for me?” he spat.

The accusation hurt, of course. Though you knew very well what he meant. You had been acting out, more than usual, as of late. And although it wasn’t without a purpose, you could see that it was wearing him thin. But… how else were you supposed to see each other?

Arkham Asylum wasn’t exactly known for its model patients. It took a lot to get Dr. Crane’s attention.

“If we spent more time together, I wouldn’t be so difficult,” you replied, trying to keep your tone even.

Crane pinched the bridge of his nose, in that way that you were well acquainted with. He’d always had that habit. Back when you’d first met, you had loved making him get frustrated - just enough for a laugh. Some things never changed.

“You’re really backing me into a corner,” Crane sighed. “And I really wish you wouldn’t.”

“Let’s talk,” you offered, patting the bed. “That’s what you’re here for, right?”

Crane, reluctantly, sat down. You could sense his exhaustion in the way that he almost collapsed onto the bed, hands gripping the edge for support. You inched a bit closer, enough so that your knees touched briefly. Crane pulled away.

You wanted to reach out; put a hand on his shoulder, just like you’d done so many times before. He used to like it when you touched him. Sometimes, you liked to think that yours was the only gentle embrace that he had ever known. Maybe it was silly, but the thought of it always made you feel better.

Now, Crane’s eyes held nothing but menace as he glared over at you, as if you were a stain on the bed sheets. You wondered, vaguely, what had happened to change things.

So much. So much that had led you to this place, where you could be so close to him and yet felt more separated than ever.

“I hate to say it, Doc, but I think I’m going crazy in here,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He barely had a reaction; a deep sigh the only hint that he’d heard what you said at all.

“And why do you think that is?” he asked, finally.

The psychiatrist in him always came through to shove even more distance between you. Like a shield, put up just when you’d started to press through the fog of tension that hung heavy in the room. You swallowed your frustration at being kept out, and tried to answer him honestly.

“Because I barely get to see you,” you replied.

That was the wrong answer, and Crane’s shoulders swung abruptly to face you.

He was scary like this. Almost scary, anyway. If you didn’t know him better, the look in his eyes would have sent you cowering.

But you did know him, so well, and you remembered with sudden clarity that he’d always been bothered by feeling inadequate. You felt awful; you hadn’t meant to imply that he wasn’t doing enough.

“I’m sorry,” you soothed, before he could say anything. “I know that you’re busy, but-”

“But you continue to make yourself into a problem,” he hissed. “You know the only reason you’re in here instead of rotting away over at Blackgate is because of me, right?”

You nodded, too shocked by embarrassment to speak.

“Then for my sake, why don’t you act like it?”

“I’m…” You paused for a moment, sharp tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m just… lost without you,” you whispered. “You know that. I always told you I would be.”

The first tear fell, and you tried to hide your face.

“Don’t cry,” Crane sighed.

You could hear the harsh tinge of annoyance in his voice, and wished that it was anything else. Even his pity would have been better than knowing that your feelings were now nothing but inconvenience. You choked on your own throat, trying to stifle a sob.

“Please don’t cry,” he mumbled, slightly softer this time.

But now that you’d started, you couldn’t make yourself stop. If anything, the tears were only coming faster, and you felt yourself start to shrink into your own chest. The little black pit that always seemed to sit there, now swiftly opening up to swallow you.

With a deep and lingering exhale, Crane pulled you close. Suddenly, you were back where you both had been, so many years ago: one person’s cheek pressed into the other’s shoulder. Tears soaking into fabric that seemed to be stained with sadness. You let out a half-laugh, half-sob, and nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Remember when I used to do this for you?”

Crane stiffened slightly beside you.

“Things have changed since then,” he muttered.

Your memory suddenly flashed back to the first time he had used the words “dysfunctional attachment” to describe you. That had hurt worse than anything else. Even more than all of the other occasions to come, when you’d heard those same words and worse fall from his lips. They could never truly compare to that first time, when your whole world had come crashing abruptly to the ground.

His arm dropped away from you, but you kept your face pressed into his shoulder.

“Things haven’t really changed,” you said. “I still belong to you.”

“You don’t.”

Two words that stung worse than hundreds of needles. You tried to pretend that the wind hadn’t been knocked out of you, as you replied.

“I do. And I will. Always.”

You looked up at him with wet eyes, a trace of the old life that you’d shared together still evident deep within your pupils. Even if only the memories of it lived inside of you, they still lived. They were still something.

“You need to move on,” Crane said flatly. “I know it’s not easy in here, with me…” He sighed. “I did what I could to protect you, but maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed out of your case. Blackgate would have at least given you distance.”

“I don’t want distance,” you whispered. “I just want to be with you.”

“You can’t be.”

Always so stubborn.

“I could be, if you’d help me get out.”

Confusion flashed across Crane’s face, quickly replaced with raw terror.

“Escape Arkham?” His eyebrows furrowed, nearly knitting together. “You can’t be serious. Do you even realize what-?”

“I know, I know,” you hummed. “But just think - we could run away together, just like we always talked about.”

“Stop.”

“Don’t you remember? We promised-”

“Things. Change.” Crane’s voice almost shook as it thundered.

You brought a hand up to his face, gently coaxing until he looked at you.

“But they don’t have to,” you breathed.

Your eyes drifted down to your wrist, to the space just below your thumb, and over the little tattoo that was etched into your skin. A heart - just like the ones littering your blanket, hidden carefully from Crane’s view.

“Remember when you gave me this?” you asked, holding up the tattoo in front of him.

“No; I remember you doing that to yourself.”

“At first, sure,” you chuckled. “But then, you helped me to finish it, ‘cause-”

“Because I didn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Crane muttered. “Just like you always seem to. Even now.”

You ignored his remark as your hands drifted down to collect one of his pale wrists, then lifted up to your face. The sleeve of his suit jacket slipped back, revealing the spot where once, long ago, you had given him the same mark. Just with a felt-tip pen; he would have never allowed you, even back then, to deface his own body in the same way you had yours.

At the time, the impermanence of it hadn’t seemed to matter. You’d been too distracted; elated by the way that his and your matching blossoms of ink had pressed up against each other as you’d held hands.

Now, you pressed a kiss to the blank space.

“Us against the world, Jonathan. Remember?”

Suddenly, his fingers pressed into your face, digging into the sides of your chin as he forced you back into focus.

“Don’t call me that,” he warned, once again. “How many times do I have to tell you? That life doesn’t exist in here.”

Your hands still dangled from his wrist as he continued to crush your jaw, not letting you look away. But this was the one part of him that you didn’t want to face. The part that didn’t need you anymore.

“Jonathan. You know the reason I’m in here, don’t you?”

“Are you asking if I know about your case? All of the crimes you committed?” he huffed. “Because yes - I was very involved in the trial, and it was nearly impossible to keep everyone else in the dark about…”

Us was the word that he couldn’t bring himself to say.

“That’s not what I mean,” you said. “I mean, do you know why I did those things?”

“Stop - please don’t tell me this again.”

“I did them for you,” you cried, your emotions getting the better of you again. “I do everything for you. So don’t you dare pretend you don’t need me, when really the only fucking reason you’re not stuck in here with me is because I always-”

“Stop.”

Crane’s hands tore away to grab you by the shoulders, wrenching you back to reality. Somehow he always managed to do that. To pull you straight out of the riptide, just as it was about to sweep you away.

“I never asked you to do what you did,” he hissed, articulating each word between clenched teeth.

“But I did it anyway,” you spat. “Because you always get into trouble. Because I told you I’d be there for you, no matter what. And because I always keep promises.”

“I don’t need you to anymore.” Crane’s hands squeezed you uncomfortably. “I don’t - I didn’t need you to ruin your life for me.”

“My life isn’t ruined if it’s for you.”

“Jesus Christ…”

Crane’s hand came up to rake through his hair, but before he could pull away fully, you caught him. Fingers clenched tight to the front of his suit, you pulled back and forced him to fall with you. Your back hit the bed, and Crane scrambled to catch himself before his full weight could slam into you. His body perched just above yours, caging you in his arms.

“This. You must remember this.”

Your words were a whisper, barely loud enough to pass from your lips to his ear, despite how close he was. Your legs frantically came up to tug at his waist, trying to force him closer.

“This was the only time I felt alive,” you continued. “When we were like this. You remember.”

How could he not? You could still live in that moment, if you tried hard enough. As if it had been only yesterday. Both of you nervous and fumbling, nearly falling off of the bed as he hovered over you and you clung to him.

The way that your bodies had melted together, almost desperately, in a way that had made you feel certain that neither one of you would let go. Letting go then had meant something worse than death; it meant a life that dragged on without you and him together.

The stale echoes of passion still rang in your ears as you looked up, silently begging for him to rekindle the spark that had been there.

Crane’s expression was all but impossible to read. His face half-hidden beneath bangs that fell into his eyes. The two-second pause was like a lifetime as you awaited his answer.

“Of course I remember.”

Your heart soared, flying recklessly up.

“But that doesn’t mean it’s the same now.”

Broken. Smashed hard against the cold floor of your cell.

“I don’t believe that,” you breathed. “I can’t. I-”

“You need to,” he interrupted. “Because it’s the truth.”

You stayed stock still on the mattress as Crane briskly pushed himself up, disentangling himself from your limbs. He exhaled as he tugged at his jacket, trying to make himself presentable.

You weren’t sure how he could find the nerve, after ripping your whole world apart.

“I’m upping the dose on your sedatives,” he informed you, still not meeting your gaze. “But I would prefer if you could find it within yourself to behave so that I don’t have to. I don’t like to do this, but-”

“Appearances…” Your voice drifted through the room. “Have to be kept up.”

He had told you as much, probably dozens of times. Just like he’d told you the old life between you no longer mattered, or even existed. If it ever had.

“I’m glad you understand,” he said shortly.

His back was already turned, but you looked up to watch him drift out of the room, quickly pocketing the keys on his way out.

Your head fell back, hard, but the sensation did nothing to ground you. You felt all too lost and adrift; trapped in a situation you had created. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end up.

Your hand drifted silently under the pillow, and wrapped around the barrel of the pen that was still hidden there.

Suddenly, grotesque understanding of all the reasons why no one would want you to have such a thing flooded into your consciousness. The possibilities were many and bleak, but they all led back to the same conclusion. It was just like you had told Crane earlier.

If your life together didn’t exist in this place, then the only solution was to leave.

You smiled. With resolve swirling dangerously inside your veins, you vowed to make sure that nothing like this ever happened again. You were going to be together, no matter what.

There would be no getting away.

This fic now has a Part 2! Read it HERE

#jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane #cillian murphy x reader #angst #LemmyFics

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bestedoesmeow · 1 year

Text

c. leclerc x reader

instagram au

You and Charles definitely have something going on you want to keep it to yourselves but you are not good at it as you thought you would be.

p.s : hello everyone, first of all I wanna thank you for all the likes on my latest posts, I am glad you liked to read them. The thing is I want to write more short stories but my school started and I’ve got things to catch up since we are online due to earthquake so, I’ll be writing more short stories like “pop rocks” with other drivers just it’s gonna take a little time, hope you enjoy this one too💌

y/u/n

liked by f1, charles_leclerc and 6.897 others

tagged : charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

Thanks to @scuderiaferrari and @charles_leclerc for this amazing opportunity, never thought it would feel this good to finally have the chance to drive a formula 1 car! My interview with the Ferraris is going to be on my page tonight, don’t forget to check it out💌

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user90: Just one word. Jealous😭

liked by 56 people

user67 : No one can tell me that hold is innocent, Charles would never place his hands on a girl’s waist like that who isn’t his gf lmao🤔

liked by 134 people

user78 : LUCKJKKYYY I AM GONNA CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP NOW 😩😩😩

liked by 23 people

user12 : Am I the only one who thinks THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER whenever she is there to interview them I AM LIKE KISS ALREADY😖

liked by 75 people

charles_leclerc : Thank you as well, it was an extraordinary experience 😊

user99 : Not the emoji charles LOL

user32 : You are in love no need to hide baby

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, y/u/n and 346.363 others

Took some photographs today that I am proud of, I am starting to feel confident about this…charles.jpg soon?

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user312 : Boyfriend material Charles is my favorite one💍💍💍💍💍

user781 : Show us the pics Leclerc😡

user687 : I bet we get y/u/n content lol it’s SO OBVIOUS

user777 : How do you know?leave people alone, get a life or sth

user455: How you not know must be the question calm down?

carlossainz55 : Ready for chili content🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🔥

liked by charles_leclerc

y/u/n : Favorite photographer from now on😄

liked by charles_leclerc

user5666 : GIRRRRRLRLLLL COME ON

user677 : 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

y/u/n

liked by y/f/u/n, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 14.362 others

Lost in some monegasque's dream💭

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user622: Now that’s what Charles meant by “photographs he is proud of”

user566: Charles posting about taking pictures and then y/n shares this? CAN IT BE MORE OBVIOUS?

user544 : Okay can we talk about how beautiful this human being is? Are you serious?

charles_leclerc : To be honest the best scenery photo I took :)

user077 : Well well YOUU SIMP😉

user321: Now it’s official what he meant by “ photos I am proud of”

#charles leclerc au #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #f1 au #f1 fanfic #classic f1 #f1 x you #f1 fic #f1 fandom

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tonberry-yoda · 2 years

Note

I'm not sure if you do requests like this, feel free to ignore- but SDC with a female reader. She hugs them so excitingly that she pushes there face into her gahamaloohs? B00bs

omg this is so flippin funny lmaooooo. these are short little headcanons, so i hope you like them lol. have a great day anon!! <333 and thank you so much for the request!!

Stardust Crusaders with a f!reader who hugs them into her chest

Pairing - Noriaki Kakyoin x f!reader, Jotaro Kujo x f!reader, Jean Pierre Polnareff x f!reader, Avdol x f!reader, Old Joseph x f!reader

Warnings - small mention of blood in jotaro's. joseph being a slight perv lmao

Notes - omg thank you so much for the jojos request, i have been dying to write for the show. i have another one on the way too! this was such a good request and i just had a super fun time writing it lol. thank you anon! i hope you have a great day, lovely!! <333

And don’t forget, REQUESTS ARE OPEN! So if you want to request any writing, please don’t hesitate to ask, but please read my pinned post before requesting! Please enjoy!! Don’t forget to stay hydrated! <3

Noriaki Kakyoin

omg, we all know that this man is after moms, THEREFORE, bazongas are his thing

"Kakyoin! You're back!!!" You shove past the rest of the crusaders and pull Kakyoin into your arms. Little did you know, his face was pressed right to your chest, his nose in between your- "Are you feeling better, Noriaki?" You pulled back and looked at his eyes, which weren't blinded, only scratched.

He'd be thinking about that all day

He'd be thinking about how great it would be to cuddle you and be pressed to your chest like that again

If you've ever done that before, or ever do it again, his face would go cherry red, but he wouldn't say a word. He would just be enjoying himself the whole time

He is much taller than you, so it is rare that this ever happens, but he hopes for the day you can get to that level to pull him down again

Jotaro Kujo

use this to shut him up

he will go dead silent

not a word

"Jotaro!" You run up to him, limping from your previous battle. "Oh, shit! Are you alright?" Jotaro runs up to you as you fall into his lap, blood falling from your leg. "I-I'm fine." You flinch as Jotaro lifts up the leg of your pants, seeing the poor job you did on wrapping yourself up. "You idiot! You can't just wrap it up yourself, get someone to help next time. God, you're so stu-" You quickly pull him towards your chest for a hug, playing with the back of his hair. His face right in between your boobs.

You had never heard him get that quiet before

You would pull away with a smile and a "thank god you're alright, Jojo, I thought you were dead back there"

And still nothing

The tops of his cheeks and the tips of his nose and ears would be dusted red

He would clear his throat, standing up, lighting a cigarette

"yare yare daze"

Jean Pierre Polnareff

this man would melt

lets be real, even a regular hug would kill this adorable little frenchman

but when your knockers are in this man's face??? you killed him

someone start planning the funeral

when you let go, he would fall backwards, blood falling from his nose

what a silly little cutie

"Guys, you're being so mean!" You pushed past Joseph and Avdol, walking up to Polnareff. "How would you like it if you had to lick a toilet?! Huh?!" You turned towards Polnareff and pulled him straight towards your chest for a hug. You play with the top of his hair and earrings and you feel him go immediately limp

You swore to god you killed him

You look over at him as he falls to the floor, a smile on his face and blood running down his nose

"Polnareff? Are you alright?" He would just shoot you a thumbs up

Whatever happened with the toilet incident, he doesn't remember

Avdol

this man is so shy

omg what a sweetheart

but he would definitely be vocal about it

You pull Avdol into your arms. You really thought he died. "It's so good to see you, Avdol." You had no clue, but the man was crushed to your chest. He cleared his throat, and through a muffled voice, said, "It's good to see you too... but... uhm... I am pressed too close you your..." You look down and see where he is pressed and gasp, pushing him away. "Sorry Avdol! I didn't know!" He smiled and rubs the back of his neck before pulling you into a proper hug. "Nothing to worry about."

He would love every second though

I think he's a sucker for anything squishy on a lady, so to get those few moments of bliss, he is truly a blessed man

Old Joseph

if he was a ladies man in his prime, you better bet not one part about him has changed

he would make some stupid joke and you'd pull away, completely unamused

"Joseph!" You giggled and jumped into his big arms, pulling him into a hug. It felt like it had been forever since you'd seen him. Joseph smirked once he noticed that he was pressed into your chest and with his voice muffled, he'd say, "I know it had been a while, but I wasn't expecting this as a surprise." You immediately jumped down and slapped his arm. "Not cool, old man." And you just walked away.

He would just love hugs though. He didn't mean to ruin the vibe. But he had to. The old fart.

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c00kietin · 1 month

Text

It's the 17th of March, so y'know what that means-

Happy Saint Patrick's Day to you all! I know the majority of you probably don't celebrate, which is fair, BUT I decided I wanted to talk a little more about the country I was born and raised in- the Emerald Isles of Ireland!! :D

If you're just here for the art, well here ya go! However, if you want to learn more in a VERY long post:

Just to start off, here's the Irish flag and the Ivory Coast flag! Wanted to add this because they can get easily mixed up (I got them muddled up a LOT when I was younger-)

Since it is Saint Patrick's Day, I should probably elaborate what that's about- what I've been taught in school is that Saint Patrick preached the Gospel to the Irish, one method including the shamrock to represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Of course, and the whole "he drove the snakes out of Ireland" but don't worry. There are still snakes in Ireland. And I'm pretty sure "snakes" is a metaphor anyway. And, turns out, he wasn't even originally from Ireland- he was British! Oh yeah, and he was kidnapped by pirates to become a slave when he was a teenager for 6 year s -

Here are some stereotypes or the first things that pop into your mind when you think of "Ireland"- leprechauns, short gingers, "Top of the mornin' to ya" and our love for spuds and beer. And, to tell you some stuff about them too!

Leprechauns originally wore red! They pop up in fairy tales quite often too.

Ireland is second when it comes to having the highest percentage of gingers with 10%, with Scotland having 13%. As for being short, I reassure you, there are plenty of tall and/or lanky people around. (A lot of my teachers are like this-)

I've heard no one say this as a greeting. The only Irish person I can think of who does is Jacksepticeye. You might be more likely to hear "How's it going?" or "What's the crack?"

As for loving beer, we are one of the highest consumers for it, but there are many other higher consumers! Also, I don't know if this is a thing in America or not, but we tend to call them pubs. Bars are a bit more...fancy? I don't know how to describe the difference.

And for loving potatoes? Okay. This is probably true lol. Almost everyone I know likes potatoes (with some exceptions). And, of course, who can forget the Great Famine when blight destroyed the potato crop and killed around a million people- spuds were a huge source of food back then.

And now, for language! Here are some I'm used to hearing quite regularly (and use often, too!)

Another two that I want to add are more Cork exclusive, but saying "boy/girl" at the end of sentences and using "like" a lot is quite common (especially the like one- I say "like" all the time ;v;).

And now, Irish itself! Now, I'm not going to tell you anything major (I'm not a teacher) but I will try my best to explain a little!

Irish is not the main language of Ireland but in some particular areas (shown in the right image) there are regions called Gaeltacht districts which predominantly speak Irish. Their Irish would be a lot better than my school-knowledge based Irish :'D Another thing to add is that different provinces (the provinces shown in the middle image) have different versions, or pronunciations of some words. Being from the province of Munster, I've been taught the "Munster" pronunciations and words.

So..."Tá mé éan sásta" would mean "I am a happy bird" :D

I apologise for how messy my writing looks-

OKAY. ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO COVER IN THE IRISH LANGUAGE IS THE NAMES, because I've seen plenty of people online and in real life joking lightheartedly how hard Irish names are pronounced. So here are some Irish names!!

Saoirse - this one is brought up quite a bit- It can either be pronounced as "seer-sha" or "sair-sha"!

Róisín - "roh-sheen" !

Eoin - even I had a hard time pronouncing this when I was younger- it's pronounced as "owe-in" like "owing" but without the g!

Fódhla - I remember this appeared in the newspaper once and a family member was baffled by it- it's said as "foh-la" :]

Another I want to mention is Eilish- you probably know it thanks to Billie Eilish, which is pronounced as "eye-lish"- but it can also be pronounced as "eye-leesh"!

Last one, Sinéad- you may have seen this one once or twice as is pronounced "shin-aid" :D

And now, some more quick stuff!!

Musicians from Ireland!!

On the left you have Hozier (love his music!! :D) and the right is the Cranberries!!

Some other Irish artists you may be familiar with are U2, Thin Lizzy, Westlife and Sinéad O' Connor!

Some popular Irish snacks!!

crisps/chips!! (I love em both dearly)

of course, how can I not bring up Irish bread: soda bread and blaas :D

Hot chicken rolls!! (seriously how are these not more popular elsewhere-) and spice bags!! (chips with spices, peppers. maybe chicken)

Animal wise, we haven't got anything too crazy, but we do have one of the largest breeds of dog, the Irish greyhound and the now extinct largest deer, the elk.

I think I'm beginning to run low on space, so I'll end it there!! If you're also Irish, free to add on facts/words!!

I don't usually say this but I would kinda appreciate reblogs since I felt like I put a bit more effort into this ;v;

So uh, yeah- Happy Saint Patrick's Day!! :D

#my art #my ocs #oc art #saint patrick's day #ireland #long post #talking

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cozy-the-overlord · 7 months

Text

Free Fall

Summary: Tony Stark arranges for an Avengers Teambuilding Day at a local amusement park. Loki had been hoping to avoid it -- he's had enough thrills to last a lifetime, he has no desire to seek out more -- but you and your endearing enthusiasm for roller coasters convince him to come along. However, the free fall drop tower you start out with turns out to be a bit more thrilling than he bargained for.

Word Count: 3,482

Pairing: Loki x Gender Neutral Reader

A/N: Drags self out of the grave and awkwardly waves

So it's been a minute since I posted lol. Those of you who follow may be aware that I recently graduated from college with the Final Semester From Hell that involved my computer hard drive dying on me in class and causing me to lose not only forty pages of my honors thesis two weeks before it was due, but also almost every WIP I had been working on in the past four years because I am an idiot who chronically forgets to back things up :D I did make it through college, but between stress, burnout, depression, and the death of any motivation to work on anything because of having to restart from the beginning for all of my projects, I went a while without writing anything. But I'm slowly getting back into it -- I have several projects in the works and I'm hoping to get back to posting more regularly. This fic was a short piece that I had started prior to the computer death that I had a lot of physical notes on so they weren't lost when my hard drive decided to yeet itself into the sun. I'm not entirely happy with it, but honestly it feels so good to finally finish something that I don't care.

Anyways, sorry for the obnoxious A/N. Thank you so much for reading!

Warnings: PTSD, flashbacks, panic attack, a bit of motion sickness?

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @the-emo-asgardian @imnotrevealingmyname @electroma89 @lokislittlesigyn @moumouton4 @theredrenard @justdontmindmetm @lostgreekgod @naterson

If you want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask/message :) (I also realize that this taglist is Old so if I need to update it please let me know)

Read it on Ao3!

Standing in the shadow of the great tower, heart thudding in his throat, Loki is suddenly aware that he’s made an enormous mistake.

Next to him, Stark whistles. “This is what you usually start with?”

You grin up at the spire, a massive construction of electric green cutting through the cloudless sky. Two elevators, one on either side, are creeping slowly up the length of the tower. They linger at the top for just a moment before plunging back down to Earth, their occupants screaming. Loki feels ill just watching, but you’re practically vibrating in place. “It’s good to get the blood pumping.”

He can’t bring himself to look at you.

It’s your fault that he’s here. Loki hadn’t planned to come today at all. A day spent outside in the sweltering summer sun, following Stark’s gaggle of misfits onto various machines designed to fling mortals from side to side to simulate the feeling of a near death experience? Loki couldn’t imagine anything more torturous. Thor’s begging and cajoling received nothing in response. No, he hadn’t the slightest intention of coming today, not until last night, when he came across you restocking the main refrigerator.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” you had asked as you arranged rows of Red Bull on the top shelf. “I can’t wait to take you guys around Rapid Rails—I’ve been begging Mr. Stark to do a teambuilding day there ever since he hired me.”

Your eagerness caught him off guard— as Stark’s personal assistant, you had been present at all of his godforsaken teambuilding events, but Loki had never known you to be particularly excited about any of them. “I … I wasn’t aware you had such an attachment to it.”

“Oh yeah—I grew up just down the street from there!” You beamed at him, breaking down the cardboard box you had used to carry the cans. “We used to have season passes – they were way cheaper when I was a kid – and we’d just go there to hang out all the time. Gosh it was so fun. And now I get to go for work!” You let out a merry laugh. “I guess some things never change, right?”

Loki huffed a soft chuckle. He had never seen you like this before, practically bubbling over in excitement. It was … rather endearing. “I suppose not.”

“You are coming, right? Thor said you hadn’t made up your mind yet.”

Were the circumstances different, Loki might have scoffed. Hadn’t made up your mind yet—Norns, his brother lived in denial. Instead though, he hesitated. “I … I’m afraid I hadn’t planned on it.”

“Really?” The way your face fell actually hurt his chest. “Why not?”

“I—” He glanced away, pressing his lips together. “I’m not sure I’m one for your roller coasters,” he said, finally. “You’d likely have a better time without me there.” It was an attempt at lightheartedness, but you only seemed more disappointed.

“Oh, that’s not true at all! I was really looking forward to—” you stopped suddenly, and when Loki looked up again, you were biting your lip with a nervous laugh. “I mean, it would be really fun if you came with us. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I suppose I could come, if you so desire.” He hoped he sounded nonchalantly cool, and that you couldn’t see the way his heart fluttered at the idea that you might want him there. “I wouldn’t wish to let you down.”

“Oh, I mean—” You looked away, the light from the refrigerator silhouetting your frame. “I don’t want to force you, if you don’t want to. You shouldn’t do it just for me.”

“No, I …” He inhaled, then smiled. “I think I would like to join you.”

And so here he is, at the base of this great metal monstrosity, intently studying the sign outside of the line entrance to avoid Thor’s knowing smirk. His brother has never worn self-satisfaction well.

DEATH DROP: THE TALLEST AND FASTEST DROP TOWER ON THE EAST COAST

The description is illustrated with a photograph of two people strapped to their seats, mouths wide in mid-scream as their hair flies every which way. Loki lets out a shaky exhale as he reads. The tower, it claims, is 400 feet tall. It reaches top speeds of 85 miles per hour. The ride itself lasts about 90 seconds in total. The measuring stand besides the entrance indicates that participants must be at least 48 inches tall.

400 feet. That doesn’t sound too terrible, he tells himself. The concept of a foot as a unit of measurement is still something he struggles to wrap his head around, but he knows that Stark Tower stands at over a thousand. So that’s not too bad. 400 feet would be a drop in the bucket, really, compared to …

No. He pushes the thought down, back into the dark recesses of his memory. None of that. Not today.

Stark smirks at him. “You’re looking green, Tommy Wiseau.”

Loki swallows, straining to maintain his stiff mask of composure. It’s bad enough to have Stark reveling in his discomfort, but now you’re looking over at him too, brow furrowed in concern, and he wishes he could melt away on the spot. “I’m quite fine.”

“Of course he is!” Thor booms, slapping his shoulder with a hearty thwack that does nothing for Loki’s stomach. “We’ve fallen from much higher heights, haven’t we, brother?”

Weightless. Breathless. Engulfed by inky nothingness, the air so thin he can’t even scream —

Loki’s smile hurts. “Yes, very true.”

“You don’t have to go, Loki,” you interject. “It’s totally okay— I have friends who love roller coasters and refuse to touch this ride. It’s a lot.”

He knows you mean it as reassurance, but he can’t stand the way you’re looking at him, as if he were a frightened child, too fragile to be brought along. Are you regretting having convinced him to change his mind? Do you feel that he’s only holding you back? Somehow, the idea that you no longer want him here is almost as sickening as the thought of the fall.

Loki huffs a breath. No. He will prove himself worthy of your coaster. “I assure you, I am fine.” His voice is more strained than he’d prefer it to be. “Let’s get on with it, shall we?”

…

The attendant seems rather starstruck as he ushers the group onto the ride—he stumbles and stammers through the explanation of the seating arrangements and the harness. Loki’s not really listening as he follows you to the left side of the cart, trying not to ignore the buzzing that seems to be settling behind his ears.

You smile up at him. “Would you rather sit on the side or in the middle?”

He frowns. “Does it make a difference?”

“Well, personally I don’t think so, but I know some people who get scared of heights think it’s easier to sit in the middle.”

“I’m not scared of heights.” The words come out far too quickly to sound believable, and he curses inwardly at himself. “I can sit on the side.”

“Are you sure?” You eye him uncertainly. “It’s okay if you—"

“I’m quite capable of managing such a seat.” He sits before you have the chance to question him again.

The seat is rather tight—Loki wonders if that’s intentional, or if it’s simply built with a smaller frame in mind. In the cart off to the right, he can hear Thor fumbling about with the attendant, and he chuckles despite himself. If he’s finding it to be a bit of a squeeze, he can’t imagine the troubles his bulky brother must be having.

It’s a momentary reprieve from his darker thoughts, and Loki is actually smiling when you warn him to sit back against the seat.

“The harness is going to be coming down soon.”

“What?”

You motion to the contraption above the cart, two plastic green masses shaped like upside down u’s that hover above your heads like the top of a clam shell. “It sits over you and keeps you from flying out of the cart.” You let out a small laugh. “It’s like the harnesses on the Quinjets, but way less cool. They also have little handles that you can hold on to if you want.”

Loki is eyeing the harnesses uncertainly. “What do you mean they’ll be coming down soon?”

“You used to have to pull it down yourself, but they have it all programmed now.” A great mechanical creak cracks through the air, and you press yourself against the back of the seat. “Oh, here it comes now!”

He frowns, mimicking your movement to sit as far back as he can. The green restraint descends slowly over his head, with a metallic groan that does not give him much faith in the construction of this monstrosity. He expects it to stop once it was hovering over his torso, but it continues until it’s pressed snuggly against his chest, pinning him to the seat. The attendant is saying something over the intercom, but Loki barely registers it over the feeling of the restraint. It’s … it’s not a painful sensation, but the firmness with which it holds … he’s been restrained before. Little flames of memory spark in the corners of his mind, flames he can’t seem to douse no matter how hard he tries.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

He gives an apprehensive tug on the metal handles that now rest on either shoulder, a tug which quickly turns into a hard yank. The harness does not move. His mouth has gone dry.

“Loki?” you’re frowning at him, your head only barely visible through your own harness. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You’re not bothered by the restraint. Of course you aren’t—how many times did you say you’ve ridden this ride? It’s fine. It’s fine. Goodness, what must you think of him, seeing him panic over the safety harness that you’ve worn hundreds of times before for fun? He nods his head, shaking away the feelings and memories and emotions and all the other thoughts that he wishes he could just wash down the drain …

“Are you sure—?”

“Perfectly,” he spits, but it comes out more snappishly than he intended, and you recoil with a look on your face that makes him despise himself.

I shouldn’t be allowed to speak.

“And enjoy your ride!” the attendant finishes with a flourish, and the thick metal cranking is all the warning you get before the cart begins to lift off from the ground. Loki’s heart jumps to his throat, pounding so fast he can’t make out the separate beats.

“This part is the scariest bit,” you yell at him over the grinding of machinery. “The anticipation kills me!”

Loki inhales. The elevator continues to rise, inching up slowly along the spire, the ground beneath their feet melting into miniature. This is alright, he tells himself. If this is the worst part of the experience, then he’ll be just fine. There’s nothing particularly frightening about it—he spoke the truth when he told you that he had never been bothered by heights. It’s all perfectly fine.

Perfectly. Fine.

Norns, they’re still going up. He risks a glance at the track above him—surely they must be close now? The movement makes him queasy, and he quickly turns back to face straight ahead. His knuckles are white from clutching the handles. The harness is digging into his chest and it takes all of his self-control not to rip it off. The elevator stutters—is this it? His breath catches, but no, they’re still going up. They seem to be slowing down though, don’t they? Or is that only his imagination?

I’m going to be ill.

They’ve stopped. That’s not in his head. Everything seems frozen in place. Why did he agree to do this? Loki presses his eyes closed. Any moment now. Any moment …

Still nothing.

His chest aches. He may have forgotten to breathe. Why have they stopped? Is something wrong? Loki turns to you—you look ecstatic, eyes crinkled with elation, mouth wide in an open grin.

“When is it going to—”

You drop.

The world goes silent. He feels it, that awful sensation in his stomach as the line goes slack and colors rush before his eyes in a blur until it all fades to darkness, airlessness, weightlessness, his lungs burning and drowning on the empty void of space—he’s falling, he’s falling again, he’s falling again oh please Norns not again—

There’s ground beneath his feet. He’s not sure where it came from. His knuckles ache. You’re talking – to him? He’s not sure, he only barely can make out your voice …

“Loki? The harness is coming up. Can you let go?”

He’s still clinging to the handles. Can he let go? He’s not sure. His body feels like lead. He pries his fingers from the metal tube and the pressure against his chest vanishes with a woosh over his head.

“There you go.” Your voice is soft, encouraging, closer than he remembered. He looks up to find you kneeling on the ground before him. You flash a nervous smile. “You alright?”

He’s not sure what to say. His instinct is to apologize, insist that yes, of course, he’s quite alright, he didn’t mean to give any impression to the contrary, everything is fine, but the words catch in his throat.

stars melting together smothering his last breath

Loki lets out a shuddering breath, settles for a nod.

“What’s the hold-up?” Stark calls out. “Barton and Romanov are waiting with the kids on the other side of the park.”

“We’re just taking a break for a minute!” Your reply is hurried. “You guys can go on, we’ll meet you there.”

“Is something wrong?” Thor sounds concerned, and—oh great—now both him and Stark are walking over to their cart. “Loki? What happened?”

“I—” But words, so often his steadfast ally, seem to be failing him right now. What happened? He has no answer; at least, none that his brother would accept. For nothing had happened, not really, and yet that was enough to send him spiraling through the fabric of reality.

He hates this. He hates feeling so weak.

Stark is chuckling. “If I knew that this was all it took to shut him up, I would have rented this place out sooner—”

Enough.

Loki forces himself to stand – far too quickly, his stomach churns at the movement, but he swallows the bile in his throat. He needs to get away. It doesn’t matter how, but he needs to not be with them. Besides him, you scramble to your feet too.

“I’m well.” His voice doesn’t sound right—it feels foreign, and thick like syrup, nothing like his own. “You may go on without me.”

“Are you certain?” Thor is frowning. “We can wait—”

Please don’t.

“I’m certain. I just need to sit for a moment.”

“There’s a bench nearby!” You’ve taken on the same cheery inflection typical of your working voice, and it adds a sense of normalcy to a distinctly abnormal situation. He’s grateful for it. “I can show you where!”

Both Stark and his brother seem reluctant to leave, but you insist that it’s fine. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

He feels slightly steadier as he follows you to the bench—it’s just a wooden thing on the side of the concrete path, across from what appears to be a diner of some sort. You mumble something about going to get water. It’s a relief when you turn away, so you don’t see how he collapses against the seat.

There’s ground beneath his feet. Loki closes his eyes, focuses on that. There’s ground beneath my feet. The asphalt is firm, hot with the summer sun, anchoring him to reality. He lets out a breath. It feels safe.

Unless, of course, it crumbles beneath your step and flings you back into the abyss –

“Hey.” He jerks up at the sound of your voice, and the suddenness causes you to jump as well. You shift apologetically, standing in front of him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Loki swallows. How did he not hear you come up? “You didn’t.” Although it must be obvious that you did. At least you’re kind enough to allow him the lie.

You offer him a plastic cup. It’s a flimsy thing, but quite cold, relieving against his feverish skin. He takes it with a mumbled thanks, pretending he doesn’t notice how you’re studying him with a quiet sort of concern.

“Are you feeling better?” you ask after a moment.

Loki bites down on the inside of his cheek, relishing the way it stings. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just – I mean – ” you glance down, tugging at your shirt sleeve. “I get panic attacks too.”

“I don’t—” But he stops himself, stops the urge to argue. Gives a gentle nod instead. “I’m well, thank you. I just … I need a moment to catch my breath.”

“I’m sorry …” You look away guiltily. “Death Drop is kind of a lot – we shouldn’t have done that first.”

“It’s not that. I –” He wants to explain to you. He wants you to know that he’s not usually like this—he never used to be like this, he’s strong and steady and perfectly capable of anything you could ask of him, but his voice is failing once again. Loki huffs a sigh. “You ought to go on with the others. I don’t wish to ruin your day.”

“Oh, you haven’t ruined anything. I’ve been on every ride in this park about a million times. It’s fine!” Your voice is bubbly and light as you sit down next to him on the bench. There’s something oddly comforting about the sound. “Besides, it’s bad etiquette to leave a friend by themselves at an amusement park. Buddy system and all that.”

A friend. He can only stare at you.

You falter. “Unless … unless you’d rather I left?”

“No—” Loki surprises himself with how quickly he answers. “No, I’d rather you didn’t.”

Several minutes pass in silence, the frantic beating of his heart slowly tapering off into something softer as he drinks in your presence. He’s grateful for it, grateful for how you let him soak in the quiet. Thor would never have allowed him such a moment’s peace.

He’s considering asking if you’re sure you don’t want to go on any other coasters (he feels guilty for keeping you here—perhaps he can accompany you through the queue and wait on the ground?) when you suddenly sit up stock-straight. “Oh!”

Loki frowns. “Is something wrong?”

You turn to him with a wide grin. “I just remembered they have Dole Whip here!”

“They—what kind of whip?” What sort of ride would a whip be, he wonders? A human sized slingshot, perhaps? His stomach lurches at the thought.

Luckily though, he’s proved wrong. “Dole Whip!” you giggle. “It’s like ice cream, but fruit flavored. Like there’s pineapple and strawberry and whatnot—it’s like soft serve.” You look at him with a kind of hopeful excitement. “Do you want to try some?”

Loki hums. He has yet to try soft serve ice cream, but he knows his brother practically swears by the stuff. “Is it good?”

“Supposedly. I’ve actually never tried it— we never wanted to spend money on park food when we would come as kids. It’s stupid expensive.” You smirk. “But today’s all on Mr. Stark’s dime, so…”

He chuckles. “And you would take advantage of your employer in such a fashion? I didn’t realize I had such a Machiavellian on my hands.”

“Hey, I’m just taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me!” You stand with a grin, holding your hands up in a mock surrender pose. “You can’t blame me for that, can you?”

“Oh, I’d never,” he teases as he stands, and he’s relieved to find that his legs have regained their steadiness. “I’d be honored to experience this Dole Whip with you on Stark’s expense.”

“Fantastic,” you beam. “It’s not too far from here. And it’s right next to a bunch of these little shops—they have this ridiculous giant sea monster toy that costs like $300, I can show you—”

You continue on as the both of you walk down the path, telling him all about the park’s various hidden gems and the inside jokes you and your friends have concocted around them, and Loki finds himself laughing more than not—he can’t help it, your giggles are just too infectious.

Huh. Perhaps joining you today wasn’t a mistake after all.

#loki x reader #loki fluff #loki fanfic #hurt/comfort #loki marvel #free fall #cozy writes

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jjongslutz · 5 months

Note

Umm...hi. It has been a few days but I am thinking how will Jay take care of you when you are on your periods. Omg, I can imagine him being VERY calm with my mood swings > <, I think he is the type to cook you good food, give you a massage (tho he will get horny but won't show it 😬), giving you heat pads and making you hot chocolates and others. Hope you will give wings to my this delulu idea 🤩. Btw, love your posts (I am always waiting for a notification from ya). Keep going, engene girl ✊🏻✊🏻.

the way i think about this every month when my period comes 🙏 (also thank you so much i really appreciate this 🥹)

he's the type to keep track of you period, either by literally writing it down in his calendar, or even having an app

whichever way he has it down, he'll always prepare in advance because he knows that it can sometimes be irregular

that means making sure the heating pack works okay, bringing chocolates, restocking the bin in his bathroom with sanitary pads and tampons (whichever one you prefer) even if you don't live together yet :(

he'll come pick you up as soon as you text him you're not feeling well and bring you to his bedroom to rest

best know the tv is set up with all your favourite shows/movies, he has a tray of food all ready for you (he knows you haven't had breakfast yet) with your heating pack

on the really bad days, he'll stay by your side throughout the day and get you whatever you need whenever you need it - consider him your personal servant lol

don't forget that he's a part-time not-so professional masseuse, so the second you mention muscle cramps he's taking the time to help you relax them

nsfw under the cut ↓

of course... this gets him riled up. from the way your skin is still hot from the heating pack, to the soft moans you release from the relieving massage

he'll try to brush it off, convince himself to not get horny "she's in pain" "it's not the time"

little does he know that you've been needing him so badly - your body's aching but you know the one thing that could make you feel better is having him inside you

it's true that orgasms help relieve the cramps from your period!!

so you start to roll your hips as he gently massages the small on your back, eliciting a pleasured hum as your thinly clothed pussy rubs against the mattress

"y/n..." jay breathes out

you hum in reply, your eyes closed while wearing a satisfied smile

"i need you"

and that's enough for you to push yourself up on your elbows, backing your ass into his growing erection. "make me feel good," you plead sensually

he could never deny you, so in a second he's pulling down your shorts, pushing your panties aside and sticking a finger into your cunt

you whine at the touch, "it's dirty," you complain, but jay isn't having it

"baby, i don't care," he says, making room for a second digit. "let me make you feel better"

and soon enough he has you coming hard on his fingers, but when you're still not satisfied, he's taking off his pants and stroking himself a few times before pushing himself deep into your pussy

when he's all bottomed out, he'll lean forward into your body until his chest is flushed against your back. delicately moving your hair out of your face, he'll leave a few soft kisses against your warm skin, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he rocks into you at a slow, but rhythmic pace

period sex = gentle, loving sex in his books

at the end of it, he'll refuse to pull out knowing that you rather focus on the feeling of his cock still buried inside of you, than the agonizing cramps :(

of course, he'll reposition the both of you to make sure you're comfortable enough until you fall asleep, still cockwarming him to ease the pain

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max-nico · 3 months

Text

Another installment of random Sonic Headcanons

Sonic doesn't like buttercream frosting, Tails doesn't like whipped frosting, and Knuckles always wipes 90% of the frosting off his cake

When Tails is doing something, whether it's working in his lab or just making dinner, Sonic will shadow box the air behind him. He stops when Tails turns around to look at him, but the fox very much knows that Sonic is throwing fake punches at him lol

Tails, Cream, and Charmy play animal crossing (or the Sonic equivalent lol) together

Matter of fact, I think like all the characters play video games together. I'm sure they have different types of video games they like (I can see Sonic playing animal crossing but Jet? Not so much) but it's not odd for them to enter an online lobby

Tails loves crunchy foods

Espio once asked Vector to death roll him to "see if his body could take it".... Vector obviously said no

I don't think any of the cast really feel famous, except for maybe the Babylon Rogues bc they're (probably) sports stars

No matter how often they get asked for an autograph or approached in public they're all like "???? Yeah ??? I guess I can take a picture with you ???"

I think hedgehogs are one of the most common races (species??) of Mobian

If the Robotniks were Mobian they would be robins (<- pretty sure I've said that before) and possibly various other red and black birds

Barry and Tails keep in contact, but they don't get a lot of chances to hang out

I don't have anything for Blaze and Silver rn but just know that I love them dearly and I'm always thinking of them

Cream is determined to befriend Shadow. She will stop at nothing until he admits that they are friends

Sonic hates being on talkshows, and talkshows hate having him on, so it's mutual lol

The Rookie (whose name i cannot remember rn it's on the tip of my tongue omg) keeps the most contact with Knuckles, but everyone still stops to chat when they get the chance

Shadow suffers from memory loss after... Falling out of a spaceship and... Losing his memory...

I think for a while he was too prideful to write things down or set reminders because heaven forbid the ultimate lifeform needs help. This led to Shadow forgetting where his own place was and refusing to ask how to get there

Maybe this is my new explanation for why Shadow is always in caves and is never shown in a house of his own, instead of the actual explanation lol

Sonic often talks to Gaia/Chip when he's alone, Tails caught him a few times and has also picked up the habit, though he does talk to him less than Sonic does

Charmy doesn't like bananas

I've said this before in this post about shadows development, but I think he sheds a lot. Hedgehogs aren't actually supposed to lose quills unless they're super stressed, but because Shadow's DNA is only partially Mobian Hedgehog, a few things are off

Okay, that's all for now. I feel like this one's kinda short, but it's whatevs !! Feel free to talk to me about your own hcs I LOVE hearing about them. Happy year of Shadow everyone !!!!!!

I am a Tails centric blog but feel free to hit up my DMs or askbox about any of these characters !!!

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onlyhuis · 11 months

Text

the king's gambit: en passant (teaser)

member | seungcheol x f reader teaser genre | angst (kinda), enemies to lovers series genre | smut, angst, fluff, happy ending; one-sided enemies to lovers, mafia boss!cheol, ceo!cheol, sugar daddy!cheol word count | this teaser - 0.7k; full fic - tbd (estimated 25k+) synopsis | Millionaire CEO Choi Seungcheol has never relied on anybody: not his parents, not his friends, no one. The only person that’s gotten him through life is himself and the power his name holds. But even now, with everything he could ever want at his fingertips, his life lacks purpose… until he meets you. teaser warnings | mention of alcohol series warnings | murder, gun violence; poisoning; kidnapping/hostages; mentions of blood; descriptions of sex workers/sexual acts for money; unprotected sex, BDSM elements; mentions of food and alcohol; warnings are subject to change as i continue writing! notes | this is a very short teaser for the 95z collab i'm doing called the king's gambit! there is no completion date for this yet as i'm still working on it (and struggling quite a bit— plot is not my usual thing lol). i've got a solid 13.1k down for now, which is by far the longest i've ever written, and there have been a lot of challenges getting to this point but i'm so excited to give you a little snippet of what's to come! once it's completed i will also be posting this fic on ao3 for readers who find that platform easier to use. i hope you enjoy, and if you do, don't forget to add yourself to the taglist for more updates!!

collab masterlist • taglist form • my ao3

it’s no surprise that seungcheol finds himself back at the casino, making his way over to the bar.

there’s not as many people in the casino at this hour of the morning as there were last night, but even still, most of the machines are full and a few of the blackjack tables are crowded with people eagerly awaiting their turn to waste away all their money.

you scoff when you see him sit down at your end of the bar. “damn, you look rough, mr. choi.” he hates the way his name sounds in your mouth, sarcastic and cruel. he hates that you don’t even know him, yet you already think you have him figured out. “did you have another long and tiring morning of partying?”

he growls under his breath but lets the comment slide, not wanting to do any more fighting today. he’s had enough of it as it is. “if you make me a bone dry martini i’ll give you a thousand dollars, right now.”

“of course, sir. anything for the vip paying customer.”

he sighs, pulling out his phone and setting it on the counter. “if you drop the snarky comments i’ll make it five thousand.”

you pause, the bottle of vodka in your hand. he sounds genuinely exhausted, and you almost feel a little bad for him. you don’t doubt that he has that much to spend, but that much money just for you to stop berating him seems a little extreme. “coming right up,” you say softly, grabbing a glass from the sparkling silver rack. “and you can keep the money.”

you finish pouring the drink and set it on the counter with a cocktail napkin, and he pulls out a thick stack of crisp hundred dollar bills from his wallet. you try to refuse him again, but he slaps the bills down, grabbing your hand and placing it on top of the money so you can’t pull away.

after a second he lets go of you, picking up his drink instead. “i’ll transfer the rest to your account today. go buy something useful.”

you look up at him with wide eyes. “mr. choi, that’s really very generous of you, but i don’t think—”

but cheol interrupts you, sighing again. “just keep it. don’t argue with me. please.”

you study him for a second, noticing for the first time the dark circles under his eyes and the way his hair is mussed like he keeps running his fingers through it. you nod silently, sliding the bills off the counter and pocketing them in your blouse pocket.

cheol’s eyes watch your movements closely, studying you in return. “don’t you have a safer place to hide that? casinos can be a dangerous place.”

you almost want to tell him, what on earth would he know about danger, but you bite your tongue and keep it to yourself. he’s had a long enough day on his own, it seems like; he doesn’t need to hear about all the times you’ve been catcalled and harassed, just inside his own casino. though, even if you did, he doesn’t seem like the type to care.

you shove the cash in your drawer beneath the bar and cheol nods, downing the rest of his drink with surprising ease, considering how strong it is. he sets the now empty cocktail glass down, wincing a little before he slides off of his stool and starts to walk away, leaving without another word.

“wait!”

he stops and turns around, waiting.

you freeze, standing there in silence. you hadn’t expected him to stop. you don’t even know why you’ve stopped him. to ask him if he’s okay? clearly he’s not. to tell him to be… happier? to cheer up? you sigh. this was stupid. “nevermind, i’m sorry. have a nice day, mr. choi.”

he gives you a halfhearted smile and a wave. “yeah. you too.”

you watch him walk away, shoulders hunched and suit wrinkled. you can’t help but be curious about what he’s been up to that’s made him so exhausted, and you begin to wonder if maybe there might be more to this millionaire ceo than you first thought.

> no taglist since this is just a teaser; but, you can join the main taglist here!

> please consider reblogging + leaving feedback! this is the first time i've attempted a longer story like this and it has proven incredibly difficult for me, but knowing you guys are equally as excited for it as i am helps me stay motivated to keep going :)

#[📌] — june.writes #[✏️] — the king's gambit #scoups smut #seungcheol smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #scoups x reader #scoups angst #scoups fluff #scoups fanfic #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol fanfic

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prince-liest · 3 months

Note

Omg, I just wanted to say I ADORE your characterization of Al and Vox! I don't even have the words to express how much I love reading your stuff, especially the Anon responses you post on here. The behind the scenes thoughts are literally my food, lifesource, its so good when people not only write characters IN CHARACTER, but also include stuff about their analysis/understanding of the character too.. I'm literally obsessed with breaking down characters and yk, cracking their chrome domes open to see how they work (which admittedly, I am not the best at <_< but I love reading them). Just wanted to say how much I love your writing. I had maybe 2 questions, please don't feel pressured to answer them :>

What in your mind (in reference to the 66.6 fics) would motivate Alastor to let Val get close to him in the first place? Or was that more you picking these two characters up by the scruff of their necks and plopping them into a hypothetical scenario to explore their character and write some fun intimate thingsTM?

What do you think of the dynamic of Vox and Al vs something like Lucifer and Al? Personally I've noticed that something Alastor craves, behind the mask of his static smiling persona, is attention. He's (at least how I saw it) usually peeved when people don't care about his absence, and seems especially bothered by the King of Hell refusing to really acknowledge him, so he goes out of his way to push Lucifers buttons (like calling himself a father figure to Charlie, IN FRONT OF HER ACTUAL FATHER LOL) whereas with Vox, Vox is literally CONSTANTLY thinking about Alastor. Man literally interrupted his regular TV program to do a segment about how much he totally didn't at ALL care about Alastors dissapearance or the fact that he returned (suree buddy). So Alastor can have more fun with him and annoy him by ignoring and messing with him on purpose.

ty if you do respond to this, sorry if it was hard to understand, sometimes I forget how to put the thoughts in my brain into coherent words!

Ahhhh, thank you very much, anon! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying my commentary on Tumblr, haha - I spent a while on Twitter because that's where all the fandom zines I was in were being hosted, but nothing beats Tumblr for giving me a nigh-unlimited word count and a captive audience for my rambling! >:D <3 I'm back to cocooning myself on the OG hell site.

Thank you for this ask, it really brightened my day! :D

As for your questions:

1. I'm assuming that was a typo and that you mean Vox (but in case you did mean Val: that was just a funny accident of him walking by the room! Alastor wasn't paying enough attention until it was too late), and to that I say:

I think Alastor allows Vox to take a go at him in canon because he finds Vox's obsession with him to be entertaining, but also because Alastor is kind of a narcissist and that same obsession massively feeds his ego, especially in a political climate that otherwise forgot about Alastor. Vox's whole "Who gives a shit about Alastor coming back?! Haha, now let me have a public meltdown and short out power to the whole city about it! Oh, fuck, why is he back, though?? Can we send a spy in to find out??" is exactly the reaction that Alastor wants every time he mentions his mysterious absence and gets brushed off.

At the same time, Alastor doesn't seem to register Vox as a sincere and genuine threat. He's a big enough fish in the Pride Ring pond that his obsession with Alastor is gratifying, but Alastor's self-absorption also doesn't really allow him to treat Vox as a threat tier above "annoying in a funny way, and also television is stupid." (Perhaps this will change in season 2... :eyes: (or perhaps Alastor will get Even Worse) (please god let him get even worse))

So those two things in combination make Vox the perfect candidate for Alastor to experiment with while maintaining his ego and not feeling particularly threatened. Despite Vox's Safeword 101 talk, Alastor would never put stock into that system with Vox unless he was certain that he himself would be able to back up a 'no' with overwhelming force. Him even considering safewords in the Live On Air! series is less for his own sake and more a politesse he offers on Vox's request to warn Vox to slow the fuck down before Alastor tries to put his insides on the outside.

2. And in direct contrast, we have Lucifer...

... Who Alastor obviously actually cares quite a bit about, because he's a whole nother power tier from both Vox and Alastor, and furthermore and possibly even more importantly, a credible threat to Alastor's relationships and standing in the hotel. I think a lot of discussion I see about Alastor prodding Lucifer seems to talk about how quickly he got annoyed about Lucifer's comments, but that misses the fact that he was pissed off before Lucifer even showed up. He got pissy the moment he saw the welcome sign, actually! And I wager that he was narratively absent for the scene where Charlie actually calls Lucifer because he would have done his best to manipulate her out of doing so had be been there.

And given that the two clearly haven't met before (though obviously Alastor knows of Lucifer - and hates that the inverse isn't true, hah), it's not 100% clear exactly why he's immediately so annoyed, but in my personal view of things and barring something like "he's projecting onto Lucifer because his contract is with Lilith," I think that what we know of Alastor's personality points most strongly to "he liked being the hotel's benefactor and sees it as His Project, and doesn't like the idea that Charlie called daddy for something that she thought mysterious, powerful Alastor couldn't handle." He distracts a lot with obviously-goading comments about practically being Charlie's dad in his duet with Lucifer, but underneath that he puts a lot of emphasis on the work he's done for the hotel and the fact that he's been supporting Charlie and the hotel from the start, so why the fuck is this deadbeat asshole suddenly turning up?!

Tl;dr: Charlie missed her insight roll on Alastor's personal investments and he's sooooo offended - and taking it out on Lucifer!

I think one of my favorite things about both Lucifer and Alastor is that they both sooo obviously belong in the Pride Ring, hahaha.

#ask #hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #radiostatic #my writing #anonymous #long post #part of the reason I love Alastor so much is that pride is also definitely my sin of choice #I relate to you #you horrible little narcissistic maniac you #meta #personal

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kaepop-trash · 9 months

Note

not sure if you’re still taking requests for chance encounters but i just read the whole thing in one sitting and love it sm!!! i love your more angsty drabbles so i was wondering if you’d do one where yn and johnny are on a “break” 🥹

Give Up, Give In

There were a lot of requests for going back to the club so I'm just adding some of my favourites:

Anon: I'm just a girl standing here asking for more Johnny (CE) yearning. Make him suffer ma'am 🙏🏻 [Yes ma'am🫡]

Anon: The club is your Chekhov's Gun and it's still lying unfired on the table. [This is the best ask I've ever gotten since this account started]

Anon: Just. More. Dom. OC. [Short and sweet. How can I refuse?]

Mini Masterlist

I was in quite the headspace when I was writing this and you can tell. In contrast to most other things I've published, I edited this painstakingly. Somewhere in the middle I watched Casablanca again and you can actually tell where.

This is just very intense. Idk what came over me, I think the characters came back to me like past lovers do in a dream. I wrote this in a daze. I also surprisingly like this. I'm posting it with love instead of just shrugging responsibility of it. Enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Angst, Angst; A lot of references to a movie older than the Czech Republic; (There are just a lot of sexual warnings in this one girls) Smut, Voyeurism, Friction play, Light BDSM, Handcuffs and Whipping (not the main characters), Dom! OC/Sub! Johnny, Dom! Johnny/Sub! OC (They are switches in the most literal sense of the term), ribbon play (male receiving) [is that even real?], Abs riding, grinding, Dirty Talk, Degradation; Intense, INTENSE; So much angst like what was I thinking; Johnny's a bit of a babygirl in this lol idk how else to explain it; Pussy-whipped Johnny you are my #1; OC is mean, but Johnny actually likes it (He told me); A lot of misplaced anger and resentment (in a sexy way); Alcohol; Johnny has the kind of sadness in him that you only see in east european gay porn; There is some homosexual themes in this, don't forget that in this world everybody is bisexual (except Tenmin, they are full fruit loops); Bisexuality(?).

WC: 18.6 k (Honestly this can and should be read as a standalone.)

Her focus came in and out of the moment, mostly being drawn back by the occasional whimper or hiss that echoed loud against the cement walls.

It was a mistake coming here tonight. she knew it the moment Hyuck bought it up.

"You look lethal." Yuta crossed his arms the moment she walked into his house, equally confused and somehow proud. Beside him, Hyuck whistled. Both of them eyed her top to bottom, taking in the very nice dress she bought herself this week.

“Absolutely deadly.” Hyuck agreed, crossing his arms in front of him, “So where are we going?” He looked between the both of them.

“For dinner. A bar maybe, judging by how our friend is dressed.” Yuta mused, turning to (Y/N) for confirmation of the plan she laid out.

“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” She frowned.

“What?” Hyuck looked between both of them, confused, “We aren’t going to your club?”

Yuta chuckled, “No (Y/N) is staying away from the hallowed grounds.”

“Why?” Hyuck turned to her, looking offended. “I shaved my balls for this.”

Both Yuta and her turned to the boy, incredibly confused and horrified by the information he willingly volunteered

She cleared her throat, deciding it best to ignore it outright, “That’s none of your business, Lee Donghyuck.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I just told you I shaved my genitals and you’re bringing up personal businesses?”

“You volunteered that information.” She grimaced, wondering why she didn’t see this coming. “You can’t just go to there on a whim. There’s a list that’s fixed a week in advance.”

“Aren’t you literally friends with the owner?” Hyuck mirrored her arms.

“The owner's friends gets benefits." Yuta shrugged, "You're roped in by extension, it seems.”

The very mention of the person who was not to be named made her spine straighten, “We are not going to the club. I don’t want him to think I am in his space, I don’t want him to think I need to. It’s a horribly petty thing to do.”

“He might not be there at all.” Yuta offered.

“We are not going.” She repeated herself, looking at the both of them with a sense of finality.

They ended up at the club less than two hours later. After dinner, entering a “normal” club reminded her exactly why she stopped doing this after undergrad. She wanted to just go home but Hyuck and Yuta were both slick menaces. And now she was here.

One of the men in front of her cursed, bringing her attention back to the present.

Her original reasoning to slip into the basement the moment she entered the club was to mitigate even the most remote possibility of being confronted by Johnny. Another part of her was overcome with intrigue once the idea materialised.

The basement was one place she hadn’t had a chance to explore. Initially, Johnny would tease her with the idea of it, but he never lived up to his own promise in that department. A couple of months in, their visits to the club reduced considerably as work got harder and their apartments got more comfortable. Then the matter was never brought up again.

Sitting in it now, she tried to imagine what Yuta meant when he compared it to the few dungeons he frequented in Amsterdam. A few with Ten even— back when he was still single of course.

The place was a lot more elegant than the floors above, divided into confined rooms that felt larger than they were owing to the incredibly tall ceilings. Unlike the rooms on the second floor though, there was no pretence. Instead of looking like hotel rooms, each room was mostly minimal. Despite the baroque display of velvets and satins, each only had one tall bench and a few chairs. The lighting was also much brighter than the intimate dimmed ones above. The lights here were yellow and brazen, nothing hid under them. The most apparent of which were the contraptions and tools displayed audaciously on the walls, ranging from curious to downright frightening.

Despite all that attention, the rooms were also open: no door, not even a curtain to lend privacy to the inhabitants. If she was clueless about what the requirements on this floor were, taking a walk down the length of the corridor gave her the clarity she needed.

Pain of this magnitude wasn’t something she was ready to give or receive from a stranger. But she did gather that spectatorship was a part of the experience on this floor. The chairs in most rooms had at least one person seated, watching as other people made use of the various instruments available.

That is how she ended up here.

One of the rooms seemed to be void of any onlookers. Two men occupied the bench inside, looking at each other with tender trust. She stopped at the entrance, deciding that this was the palatable option. She might even learn a thing or two, she wagered.

At first, they seemed unaffected by her presence. She pulled a chair and sat down at a considerable distance, still feeling trepidation about the intrusion. She watched as they got comfortable with each other, imagining that they met here for the first time today. They decided to trust each other despite, was what she decided.

Sometimes she wished that was how her initial visit to the club went.

“What should we use?” One of the men asked the other, the yellow sleeves of his shirt brushing over the man's cheek. The other looked to be the one calling the shots, so she was waiting to know as well. But he surprised her, turning to look at (Y/N) instead.

Her eyes went wide for a moment, not sure why she was being acknowledged.

“Well? You’re wearing silver aren’t you?” The man asked, his hooded eyes impatient.

Oh.

Her hand went to touch the chain that Yuta had so creatively woven into her hairpin. It was supposed to be half a joke.

Owing to the spontaneous visit, they were unaware that there was a theme tonight. It was classic movies night and none of the three were dressed for the occasion. So they decided to keep the spirit, deciding on pursuing otherwise uncustomary situations. Hyuck said he'd do anything the first person he met told him. Yuta claimed that today would be the day he pursued his favourite bartender. And she put on the silver chain and walked into the basement. A decision taken for the interesting stories it would birth. Much like this one, she relented.

She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to think of what she could possibly say.

“I don’t think–” Yellow shirt began to speak, probably sensing her panic.

“Did I ask you?” The other was quick to interject, keeping his eyes on her.

She looked at the two men carefully, the more compliant one much taller than the one clearly in charge.

“Take your shirts off.” She said first, “You’ve been rubbing against each other like kids at church. It’s pathetic.” Hooded eyes smirked, pleased to get what he was looking for.

“You heard her little boy.” He turned back to his partner, reaching out.

“You’re own clothes. Not each other’s.” She clicked her tongue, expressing her disapproval through her tone.

And that was how it began. They were excellent at following her instructions and slowly she began to take more liberties.

People came and went behind them. The first hint of another presence had surprised her. After that she started ignoring the sound of occasional shuffling.

Except one that spoke with a voice she could not ignore. A familiar one.

Johnny was comfortable in his corner, pretending to listen to Ten explain the theme again.

“I was watching this movie with a friend while she was recovering from a broken leg. And it came to me!” He told yet another person, “Unfortunately, she isn’t here today.”

“What are you talking about?” One of Ten’s friends sat up at that, “I saw (Y/N) an hour ago.” She looked at Johnny for confirmation.

Johnny looked up, at least two pairs of eyes already on him. He shrugged, trying to play off his nonchalance by taking another sip of his drink.

“Babe,” The woman continued, poking the man beside her. “You remember seeing (Y/N) downstairs, right?”

Johnny snorted, “You must be confusing her with someone else.” He said with utter confidence. She would not be anywhere near him if she had the choice. Not after what he said.

“She’s in a white dress today, right?” He asked his partner, who nodded.

“Yeah, she’s downstairs. Martin told me when I went for a cocktail. I wasn't looking or anything.” He added quickly. “Don’t glare at me man.”

Johnny looked away, not realising he was. His mumbled apology wasn’t even trying to be genuine.

“There’s Yuta,” Ten raised his arm to call the man. “Let’s ask him.”

“There is no need.” Johnny groaned, but Ten ignored him with ease.

“What?” Yuta came up, looking thoroughly annoyed. No doubt being interrupted in the middle of something.

“Is (Y/N) here with you?” Ten asked.

Instead of answering, Yuta turned to Johnny. The cautious look he gave him gave him the answer he was looking for.

“Yeah.” He turned back to Ten.

“Where is she? It’s her theme tonight!” Like most other people, Yuta too did not care about Ten’s theme.

“You would not guess.” He said with a grin, sitting down with a conspiratorial chuckle.

And that's how Johnny ended up in the basement for the first time in a year. He walked past each room, looking in to find what he was looking for.

Johnny wasn’t sure what he’d even do when he found it. Would he stop her? Would he watch? Or would he leave her alone like he had himself wanted?

Johnny slowed his steps, only for a moment. Why did she have to come to the basement now? If she wanted to, why didn't she mention it to him? He thought she wouldn't like it. Or maybe he wasn't the one she wanted to share that with. That last thought was alone to add a spring to his step.

His thoughts only spurred him on as he passed more rooms without her in it. Almost crossing one, he stopped to take a few steps back. He had to be sure that the back that was facing him was the one he was seeking.

She was in white like Ten's friend had stated, a dress he never had the privilege of seeing before tonight. Head rested on her hand, she was watching someone else. He relaxed, walking further into the room. Once her side came into view, the relief that came over him seemed to piss him off. Any thought of leaving her alone evaporated with it. This was supposed to be what he wanted.

“I had to see it for myself.” He scoffed, the novelty of the situation only just coming to him. (Y/N) turned in her chair, looking up at him with surprise in her eyes. “Trying new things? You could have told me if you wanted to come down here. At least I know what your limits are. You were never the best communicator.”

“I would assume that I know my own limits best.” She turned away from him, back to the two men in front of her. Not a hint of kindness in her eyes.

He really must have said too much that night.

One of the men sat quietly on the large wooden bench every room had, yellow shirt hanging over his shoulders, in place because his hands were cuffed behind him. The other man stood over him, a flog in his hands. His white pants matched her dress.

“Has he stopped asking for more?” She questioned the one standing. Both the men were watching her, waiting.

“Then why did you stop?” She questioned, voice impatient. “Does the little boy want something stronger?” Yellow shirt nodded like he was waiting for the question.

(Y/N) chuckled, getting up to walk to the small chest of cupboards. She leaned over, making Johnny finally notice the length of her dress— high above her knee. Pure instinct made him turn to the other people in the room, watching her with undoubtedly the same thought on their minds.

“Someone isn’t on theme.” Johnny clicked his tongue. It made the guys turn to look at him, then between the two of them.

Suddenly Johnny felt like they were the spectators, and he was the one on display with her.

“I didn’t plan on coming here tonight, so I didn’t receive the memo.” She didn’t even look at him, standing up with a thick whip in her hand.

“Eyes on me boys.” She turned to the boys, “Do you want this?” She questioned and the one meant to be on the receiving end nodded eagerly.

She chuckled, walking over to them and handing the tool over.

“Such an obedient boy, aren’t you?” She cooed, hand on his chin. Yellow shirt nodded enthusiastically. Giving in to her so easily that it nauseated Johnny. That would get them nowhere.

Keeping her eyes on his face and her fingers stroking his cheek, she handed the whip to the other guy.

“Start slow. You’re being too hostile.” She turned to the man with a warning.

“He likes it.” He defended, her hooded gaze remained bemused.

“I’m the one who’s calling the shots, am I not?” She raised a brow. The man swallowed, giving her a quick nod. As complaint as his companion.

This was no fun.

Johnny scoffed rather loudly, but she ignored him and as a consequence, the boys ignored him as well.

“What will you tell me you'd do?” She continued, focused on the man.

“I will listen and follow instructions.”

“Like a what?”

“Like the slut I like to pretend I’m not.”

She smiled, letting the one in yellow go to run a hand through this one’s hair. He closed his hooded eyes to enjoy the feeling.

“Good. Now do what you’re told.” He nodded and she let go, turning around to walk back to where she was.

Her eyes met Johnny’s finally.

“Can I help you?” She asked him, the tyrannical tone bleeding into the question. Johnny’s cock twitched for the first time that evening.

“You can start by reminding yourself who you’re speaking to, pet. Or do you need assistance?” Johnny tongued his cheek, shoving his restless fingers into his pocket.

She looked at him with disbelief for a moment. When she rolled her eyes, he was sure she was taunting him.

“You can keep your reminders to yourself.” She rubbed her hands together, “I didn’t come here to play with you.”

“Why are you here at all?” Johnny raised a brow, unable to hide the vexation in his voice. Why didn't she tell him she wanted to come to the basement?

It earned him the first flash of anger in her, so far, apathetic gaze. “I didn’t realise you were marking territory? Am I barred from coming here now?”

“I was asking a question.” He took in a cautious breath, realising that she thought he meant the club. Perhaps, the alternative made him look less bothered.

“Can't you see?” she pointed at the two boys, “I'm simply minding my own business. Why have you come down here? Looking for me?” She leaned against the head of the chair she was seated in before, waiting for his response.

Johnny let out a humourless laugh, “Who said I was looking for you?”

“I haven’t known you to come to the basement before.” She pointed.

“Just because I haven’t come here with you, doesn’t mean I’m a stranger to the place."

The words did what they were intended to do, her anger flared with an inhale she tried to play off. Johnny had to bite down his smile.

“Okay, be on your way then.” She flicked her hand towards the exit, dismissing him. "There are other rooms."

Johnny took a step towards her instead, “I stopped at this one because I could not believe you could be a watcher. I wanted to see for myself."

“She told you to leave man, why are you ruining our night?” The boy in yellow whined, making Jaehyun turn to find both men watching the exchange. The other one kept his eyes on Johnny.

She turned to meet his gaze, “Did I say you can speak?” She questioned. The boy gulped, shaking his head. “If you’re that impatient then get on with it. I didn’t say you can stop.” He nodded, turning back to the man in white pants with a demand, his eyes still watching Johnny. He looked familiar.

Johnny whistled and hissed, bringing her attention back to him. “Look at you. Even I almost believe that look on your face. What’s wrong, baby? You sound mad.” He cooed, mocking her.

“What’s wrong is that you’ve sauntered in here to ruin my night.” She failed to hide her frown.

"Ruin?" Johnny's voice raised in taunt. "I'm sorry to disturb your little pageant. You must have been enjoying just how easy this was before I walked in. They're eating up your every word, you must be elated."

Her jaw flexed and Johnny had to resist the urge to close the gaping distance between them.

"If you're done with your tantrum. You can leave now." She aimed her gaze at the door, a single and final order. It was Johnny's turn to flex his jaw. Tantrum.

"If you think this is a tantrum then what should we call your fucking fits?" He clamped his jaw the moment he heard the edge in his voice.

"We don't have to call them anything." Her volume rose, taking a step forward, daring him to continue.

"There it is." He smiled victoriously, "Why don't you stomp your foot while you're at it. Let's show everybody what you're really like under this act."

He could see the way she got blinded by her rage. For him he realised, that was something only he was capable of pulling out of her.

He should have backed off but Johnny stayed pinned in place, momentarily consumed by his sick desires to always get a rise out of her. He knew she wanted it too, her breathing hitched but eyes stayed glued on him. It was deranged but this is what he has signed up for with her.

“Fine," She said after a well contemplated silence. Johnny's lips quirked, knowing he was right as usual. Finally she was going to give in to him. For once. "Take off your chain and I’ll give you what you want.”

His smile faltered, brows furrowing. He regained himself quickly, reminding himself that he was being foolish to believe it would be that easy. Not after he was the one who told her they'd be taking a break. Not after the unnecessary things he'd said.

It was a silly thing that he regretted the moment he proposed it. But the tone she had ignored him for no reason still made his blood boil. At least he had the decency to lay down his intentions in front of her. She had absolutely no right to be angry. And yet, she was furious at him. It was evident in how she refused to so much as look at him since he had made the proposition, acting like he wasn't even there. Refusing to share an elevator, refusing to bring papers to his office.

He wanted to be civil but she went to great lengths to stay out of his path. Even reminding him that he wanted this when he asked her why she was sending interns with tasks that were done easier without the middleman.

It was infuriating and it only offended Johnny further. Even now, he was the one to come here with his pride between his legs. He told himself that he would not give in till she relented first.

“And what is it that I want, Kitten?”

“What you always want.” She turned to walk back to her chair, pulling the object closer to him, letting it grate against the cement floor harshly. “Me.”

Johnny's teeth against each other. Taking his hands out of his pocket, he folded his arms. No, it was her turn to give in.

“I will give you what you want if you take that chain off.” He pointed at her head.

“What I want is for you to leave. If you can’t do that, I will have to abandon my new friends.” She pointed behind her.

They reached a stalemate with her words, silently sizing each other up. In the back, the boys had forgotten about the commotion all together. The sound of clicking locks signalled the introduction of the bondage frame. The next sound was the clean crack of a whip, followed by a harsh inhale once it touched skin. Johnny took in a sharp inhale himself, the sounds tempting him.

“What good will taking mine off do?” Johnny spoke through raspy breathing, “You give up too soon anyway. You don’t know how to be in charge.” Another slash echoed against the walls, this time Johnny exhaled slow. “You only know how to be a brat.”

Despite his words, she smiled, watching him shift on his feet. “Two weeks without being inside me and you’re already forgetting things.”

“Has it been that long already? I didn’t even notice.”

“Sure. The last time you went this long, you were throwing tantrums like this.”

It was Johnny’s time to be racked with anger, his exhale slow, dangerous.

The whips increased in frequency and moans filled the large roam, bouncing across the walls with urgency.

“Go slow.” She lashed, turning her attention back to the couple.

“Sorry." Both of them said together, the one whipping dropped his arm. The other opened his glazed eyes.

Johnny should have brought (Y/N) to the basement himself.

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry, miss.” They said in tandem.

Johnny scoffed, “I never realised what a good teacher I was.”

“What do you fucking want?” She turned back to him, lips twisted with irritation. “You wanted a break, didn't you? What was it that you said?” She finally sat down, leaning back and crossing her legs. “That’s right. “You wanted a change. What happened, are you bored already?"

"No," Johnny shrugged, unclasping his arms from his chest to walk towards her. "I just wanted to see what you were doing with your free time. It's such a pity to see you waste it. The only person bored here is you apparently." This time he did smile, enjoying the way she averted her gaze, "So I came to offer you a game just for tonight."

"Not interested. You need to come up with better excuses."

Johnny hummed like he didn't believe her, shadow falling over his entire form as he came closer. Her brows knit, gearing up to defend the truth. He cut her off before she could even speak.

"Stand up." He ordered, stopping his stride only when his knee touched the chair.

She blinked, practically rendered silent by his audacity. What pissed her off more was how she almost did it, the chair audibly screeching back before she could reign her instincts in.

(Y/N) crossed her arms, mirroring his stance from earlier as she sat back to play off the slip, pretending she was just trying to sit back.

She knew it didn't work when Johnny smirked. She was busy preparing herself for when he asked again, to stand her ground with more conviction. Instead, he leaned down, kneeling in front of her. The act was in sharp contrast to his previous words, giving her whiplash and leaving her out of depth.

His fingers brushed her dress, staring at her lap in a way that made her think he would rest his head against it. It was a thought that had no place in the given circumstances. Slowly he looked up with a tender gaze that was equally out of place.

"What game do you have in mind?" She asked, mostly to distract herself from the way her heart leapt when she met his eyes. After all this time, he still had the ability to make her feel so excruciatingly timid.

"It's movie night." His voice was soft, "Let's pretend to be different people." He ran his tongue over his cheek.

She wasn't sure what to make of the statement. After all this time he never stopped being an enigma.

"Who are you dressed as?" She looked down at his white shirt, making a note of the undone bowtie, "Roger Moore as James Bond?"

"I prefer Sean Connery."

She took the bowtie between her fingers, "You don't have his raw sexual magnetism."

Johnny's lips twitched and she couldn't help the way her own mirrored it.

"If we're going to be playing parts," She sighed, not entirely sure how he'd managed to lure her in. Then again, she was always too ready to give in to him, "Let's play ones different from who we really are. Something to keep this night out of our," She failed to hide the sliver of indignation in her deep inhale, "Current situation."

Johnny licked his lips, looking somewhere between amused and rattled. Yet again, she was stunned by his audacity.

"In that case, I have the perfect thing." He took her hand in hers, bringing it up to kiss her palm. This time her indignated inhale came before a pained exhale.

He came closer instead of finishing his thought, leaning till their noses touched.

"Let's pretend we're in love."

Her eyes froze over in an instant, a foreign gasp making her turn back to the people who were now spectators to her vulnerability. Both of them watched with bated breaths, their own preoccupations long forgotten. They watched her, waiting for her response.

She pushed Johnny without looking at him. Predictably, he did not budge. When it happened the third time she did turn back, liquid rage dripping from her glare. Her mind mulled over a response multiple times, the sort of words that would express her outrage without hinting at her agony. It fell short, not finding the right ones to express how deeply unkind his words were. Not without betraying her closely guarded secret.

He was still close to her, close enough to let her count the lashes that framed his amber eyes, to see the stray one that fell on his cheek. This close it was easy to see that he was the most beautiful man on earth, easy to forget everything and just fall an inch closer. It was easy to want nothing more than to press her lips against his, to forget they were meant to be apart. This close she didn't need to pretend to be in love.

"Oh god." She heard Yuta's voice, cutting through the haze of lust that began to overcast her decisions. "(Y/N)." He marched up to them.

Only when she heard his footsteps stop beside did she turn from Johnny.

"Let's go, babe." He pointed his thumb at the door, whistling to play off the urgency.

She turned back to Johnny, who had moved back a few inches now. Miles, as far as their usual proximity was concerned.

She sighed, pushing her chair back.

"What do you need (Y/N) for?" Johnny asked casually.

"I need to keep her away from you." Yuta clicked his tongue, laughing awkwardly when Johnny turned to frown at him. "Nothing personal, buddy. She made me promise I would." He pointed at her.

Johnny turned to her, raising a brow. Waiting for confirmation.

"Don't bother. My instructions are to take her away whether she likes it or not. You know how crazy our (Y/N) is." Yuta chuckled like he was making small talk. She got out of her chair with a loud screech.

"Let's go." She grabbed Yuta's arm to turn him around, "I need a fat drink."

"You need a fat something." He scoffed, knowing himself that he deserved the smack she landed on his arm

"At least try to think before you speak sometimes." She groaned.

"Just tell her man." One of the boys spoke up, reminding Johnny of their presence. It was the one in yellow, his brows furrowed in deep thought. His companion scoffed, shaking his head.

"Did anybody say you can stop whipping?" Johnny raised a brow at the guy with the object in his hand. "Did you tell him to stop?" He asked the one tied up. Both shook their heads.

"In that case, you need to focus on your own endeavours." Johnny stood up from the floor, brushing the dirt of the knees of his good pants. "Enjoy your night."

As he turned to walk away, the sound of a whip cracked through the silence.

(Y/N) seemed to find more than a few merits in the basement. On top of being less crowded, the basement bar also housed some interesting liquor choices. A tequila bottle with a worm and some Baiju with an entire snake sat side by side on the shelf at eye level. While she would not be trying them, she could respect Ten's sense of humour.

Yuta also swore that this was the bar with the best cocktails. Martin, the bartender, was a legend on the premises if her best friend's claims were true. Patrons would sometimes grace the floor to only stop for a drink. She was sufficiently intrigued.

Nails tapped against the stone surface of the bar as they waited for the cocktails in question. She also waited for Yuta to speak, getting impatient and agitated from his stare.

"I just don't understand why you keep doing this." He huffed. Never one to express any overt opinion on the matter, she was caught off guard by his frustration. "If you really want to stay out of his way then do it."

"I'm trying. He came to me."

“You and I both know that you can enforce a boundary when you want to.” He groaned, looking away like the whole thing was making him uncomfortable. “Look, I don’t want to sit here and act like I can give you any real advice. I just want to ask you if you’re sure about what you’re doing.”

She could never lie to Yuta, not in a convincing way at least. She stopped tapping her nails, rubbing her fingers together and watching the bright lights above reflect on her nails.

“I know what I'm supposed to be doing. What it’s supposed to be like.” She mumbled the confession, spotting a chip in her nail enamel. “But it’s confusing with him. Everything is confusing with him.” Teeth ground against teeth as she let the words wash over her. She needed a manicure. She needed to stop doing this to herself.

"This has started to feel self-inflicted to me." Yuta assessed with accuracy.

"It needs to end." She spoke, the words rattling her to the core.

It was the only way left now.

"Then do it? What exactly are you waiting for?" Yuta raised a brow, making it blatant that he was baiting her.

Her lips parted, answer ready on her lips. She bit her tongue the next moment, putting the thought away.

"How do you just expect him to notice that you're this in love with him when you put so much effort into hiding it?"

She looked up at him fast, "I’m not–"

"Spare me, (Y/N)." He cut her off, "The only person who can't tell is the man himself. And that’s only because he’s too busy being in love with you.”

“Stop.” She shook her head, “That just isn’t true.”

“Are you stupid?”

“Fuck off, Yuta. You don’t know all of it. You’ve seen him be nice, you’ve seen him take me to the orthopaedic’s, seen him get me drinks. But you don’t know how he is. If Johnny loved me, he would say it.”

“Like you say it?” His brows furrowed, looking angry. She had never seen Yuta angry at her.

“It’s not the same.” She took a deep breath, her lungs fracturing from the force. A sound of wood cracking filled the air, followed by the laughs of multiple people. She turned back to see the cause of the commotion. Someone shouted that a bench broke, followed by a reassurance that everybody was fine.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuta spoke after, “You keep torturing the guy because you don't know what to do about how you feel. And you torture yourself because you don't want to make a decision." Yuta paused, giving a sympathetic sigh. "I love you, but it's not fair, you know that. He drops everything for you, I can’t believe you don’t see how he lets you toy with him. He’s always at the mercy of your whims and he doesn’t even mind it. Do you want to be the kind of person who does that to someone? He’s a decent guy."

She knew he was right. But he also didn't know all of it.

"I don't want to torture him." She admitted, keeping her eyes fixed on the white bar top, “He's always trying to get a rise out of me and I just,” She paused to sigh, yet again feeling confronted by her own state. These were things she’d never said before. “So I give him what he wants, a fair fight. I don't know how this ended up being the kind of thing where we keep pushing to see how far it can go.”

Yuta frowned, visibly bothered by the notion. She couldn't blame him. It seemed to be like this all the time now. Both of them looked for reasons to fight lately, like they were testing to see who would get up and call it off first. Loving him made her angry and picking fights made it easier to pin that anger on the right target. He had begun to find her frustrating as a result.

"Why not just talk it out? It can't be worse than it is now?" Yuta questioned.

About this, he would be wrong. She knew Johnny too well by now. He would try to play it off, say that they can give it a shot without meaning it. Johnny was used to being admired, he would never understand its intensity. He would take it as easy as he took most things and it would ruin her.

"I think," She paused, looking up at the ceiling with a groan. "I'm not afraid of rejection. If he said no it would hurt, but I'd move on." She looked back down at her friend with a heavier heart. "What I'm afraid of is that he would say yes without meaning it. He's okay with everything. If I asked him for a relationship he'd say okay, if I ask him I never want to see him again he'd say okay too. If I asked him for the real thing I'd want it to work. But I don't know what he wants."

She sighed, thinking about how complacent he was about everything. When she decided to ignore him on a whim he left it alone, when she decided to spend the last week of her recovery at Yuta's he was okay with it. He was okay with her sleeping with Doyoung and when she told him they don't anymore he was okay with that too.

"Johnny is just always okay with everything." She spat the words, before she sighed again. "I know that's not fair I just–" She paused again, entirely lost on what she even wanted. "If he loves me, he does a terrible job showing it."

“Oh,” Yuta said. To his credit, she could tell that he was trying to understand. “That does sounds complicated.”

That was what finally made her laugh. Complicated was exactly what she’d spend her entire life avoiding. It was why she spent her weekends with her friends and why she was insistent on keeping things casual with Johnny.

She nodded in agreement, a pitiful smile lifting her lips. "I'm ready to take all of it too. That's how afraid I am to be without him. I keep playing his games and I keep making new ones. Hoping it will keep him interested. Hoping that for once he'd say more than okay. Even if it was a no." She groaned, once again angry at herself.

"What happened to you?" Both of them laughed, her face scrunching.

"I don't know, man. I've tried so many times to figure out how I let a person rattle the peace I’ve spent my entire life protecting. A man who could replace me without any effort."

"No one can replace you." He sounded offended.

She scoffed, mostly finding his reassurance touching.

"I get that you're moping, but you make no sense." Yuta's brows furrowed, "He's wrapped around your fingers."

"That's just because I keep him on his toes." She shrugged, "To overthrow predictability is to strive for more compelling experiences." She repeated the words Johnny had said to get once, the words leaving her tongue bitter.

Yuta tapped his knuckles on the bar with a frustrated groan, pointing an accusatory finger at her. " I told you to not play fuck monopoly. You've gone and turned it into a tournament." Yuta groaned, knocking his shoulder against hers.

"I should have listened to you.” She admitted, lips twitching when Yuta looked surprised at the confession. “Sometimes I wish it wasn't so combative. If I wasn't so afraid of losing him every second he's with me, then maybe I'd love him without fighting it all the time."

The words left her heavier than she imagined, wishing she really could do it. When she wasn't so busy fighting it with all her might, she knew that loving him was worth all of the things it came with.

"You can just love him." Yuta's words made her close her eyes in denial, "Everybody is at the risk of being lost, no? Nobody comes with a guarantee, why should he? I could have a heart attack tonight while having the best sex of my life and you will never see me again. You don't fight our friendship? Why fight this?"

She looked up a little at loss, unnerved by the wisdom Yuta suddenly imparted.

"What?" He asked.

"I can't believe you just live, laugh, loved this." She snorted. Despite everything, she felt more grateful for Yuta now than she ever had before. "I appreciate this. Really, you are my ride or die." She gave his hand a squeeze.

"Aw, you're so sentimental. Do you still want me to keep you away from Johnny?"

"Yes."

Yuta sighed, "I guess I was also being too optimistic expecting you to change overnight. Think this through when you can."

"I will." She promised.

"That's good enough for me."

Leaning against the bar, head resting on her palm, she took in another deep sigh. (Y/N) had lost count of how many it had been. A deep melancholy had settled in her bones and it could neither be shaken off nor be cured.

"What can I get you?" The bartender came up to her.

Her order came to the tip of her tongue like it was second nature, a glass of whatever red was the best. But she stopped herself when she realised that it was Johnny's second choice, not hers. Then she thought to ask for a whiskey but immediately realised that it was Johnny's first. Maybe making a simple decision shouldn't be so complicated.

"A gin and tonic for the lady, Martin. The one you make with the lavender gin." Johnny spoke as he took the seat in front of her. "Since she walked into my gin joint of all places."

The words made her finally realise what he meant to dress as, a humorous smile tugging at her lips.

It had been a while since she'd seen him properly. Johnny had spent most of the past few weeks on a work trip, spending the remainder of his time on the recording floor. The rest, she took the effort of being out of his way, taking his need for a break to heart. A break from her, he meant. It was the least she could do.

Right now, in the depths of her despair and with two glasses of two different liquors in her, she allowed herself a good look.

To her misfortune, he looked as he always did. As breathtaking as the first day she walked into this club. He was different behind these walls too; always at ease, not exhausted, not burdened by the condition of his position. In here Johnny was always just a man.

She seemed to understand then. He wanted a break to get back to this, to be carefree and fun. Without the predictability and bitterness that had settled into what they had. Her fingers squeezed the edge of the bar.

Johnny ran his index finger over the rim of his glass, mixing the sound with the tapping of his shoe— making some unknown melody. The action brought her attention to the flicker on his wrist, from where hung a single gold chain. Her eyes wandered to his collar, where the silver chain from earlier was missing.

"What brings you here, Miss?" He sat back in his chair, his eyes sparkling under the sparse lights.

She took a moment, taking his words in. His question was an open ended request. She could be anybody she wished right now, say whatever she wished. She could be carefree and fun, be as unpredictable as she liked.

She could make him stay.

"A miscalculation. I thought it would be an enjoyable night. Yet I'm stuck making boring small talk with a man who thinks he can order drinks for me." She couldn't help the words, the anger from before still remaining. If he wanted time away from her then why did he keep coming in her way? Why did he make it hard for her to walk away from him?

She could be anybody at that moment. Yet, (Y/N) chose to be herself.

Johnny's eyes danced with embers, tongue darting out to lick his eager lips. He chose to be himself too.

"My apologies, Miss." He tipped his head, not meaning it in the slightest.

"You seem to know my tastes." She picked the drink up once Martin placed it in front of her, giving him a quick smile.

"I am a man of many talents." Johnny answered.

"I was talking to the bartender, Sir." She turned to him, nose raised high. Martin chuckled, apologising to Johnny almost immediately after he could. The title was meant to mock the one he used for her. Yet the very formation of the word on her tongue reminded her that it was a word between people they were trying to run away from at the moment.

Johnny's lips twitched and she couldn't tell what it implied, what he was reacting to.

"What brings you here?" She asked, humouring him at last.

"To this place?"

"To me."

Johnny chewed his bottom lip, clearly a little frustrated at her adamant need to be difficult. In truth, she couldn't be sure why she was being like this either. But Johnny liked when he was cornered, rendered retortless. And the distress marked so clearly across his face made the depths of her belly twist in a way it hadn't in weeks.

"Do you gamble?" She asked him, once again steering the conversation away from the dead ends she sent them into herself.

"I did once, lost everything I had."

"That must have been hard. My condolences to you."

"It doesn't matter to me. At least we'll always have Paris." He gave her a smile that was uncharacteristically warm. It pulled her out of the act, reminding her of what she was missing.

(Y/N) remembered making Ten and Johnny watch the movie. One of her all time favourites, she had warned him when he complained about the cliché premise. She knew that was why he was doing this. She just couldn't tell if it was out of spite or affection.

"My husband is waiting for me upstairs. I must go to him." She stood up, breath catching in her throat when he caught her wrist.

"Your husband is gambling."

"My husband doesn't gamble."

"We all gamble, my love."

She jerked her hand out of his hold, the words stinging her like a live wire. Sucking in her teeth she couldn't help the way her face twisted, seething.

"You will be back." Johnny sat back, face neutral.

"Why would I?" She tapped her hand on the bar, lifting her drink into her free hand.

"Because we all have something at stake." He let her hand go, eyes shifting with sorrow. She wondered if he'd always been such a good actor.

Johnny played her face over in his mind so many times that he hoped it would dull the pang in his chest. Could it really be that bad? Did she hate the idea that much? Was being in love with him that unpleasant a thought to her?

He groaned, sitting up on the sofa. The sound earned his friends attention, Ten turning to him with a particularly impatient gaze. He looked ready to say something.

"Can you just–" He began, his husband's hand coming up to stop him.

"Johnny needs another drink." Taemin gave Ten a warning look, turning to Johnny after. "There's a good Japanese whiskey out today." He offered with a smile, pitying him.

Johnny wanted to scoff, but he was aware that he had successfully over wrung everybody's patience. So he nodded and got up to leave.

He realised that he had become the reason he avoided the fancies of things as tedious as love, sitting here by himself drowning his aching sorrows in alcohol too expensive to be drunk so copiously. Just like the movie he had made fun of, Johnny was yet again a cliché.

"This needs to stop." He mumbled to himself, not remotely drunk enough to pull half the antics he did tonight.

Johnny had always believed that he’d find love when the time was right. He never sought it out because he believed that these things happened on their own. The fact that he spent the entirety of his twenties building his company was something he was proud of. He didn’t believe he had wasted the time.

In truth, Johnny had spent his entire life working towards something. Too occupied to ever feel loneliness in the way it was perhaps meant to be experienced. Which was probably why he wasn’t prepared for it. Love had finally found him and Johnny was plunged headfirst into wanting something that he failed to work towards. There was nowhere to go. What he wanted was right in front of him. He just didn’t have the courage to grab it.

He heard the hesitant intake of breath he’d recognise anywhere. The sound dragging him out of his musings.

"You were right." Her words pierced through his thoughts.

Johnny halted the urge to whip his head immediately at the sound.

"Are you here to finally gamble?" He spoke to his glass. She came around to stand in front of him, shaking her head.

Her hand reached out, moving the few stray strands off his face, When he flinched at the touch, she retreated her fingers quickly.

"You aren't the only one to have lost everything in Paris." She spoke carefully.

He sighed, the sound more like the wince of hot sand when it finally rained. Looking up, his eyes met her vulnerable ones, the ones he’d keep making the same stupid mistakes for. The ones he'd happily run into a million dead ends for.

Johnny put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She didn't fight it and he was sure that his relief was written across his face as he rested his forehead against hers.

“Who are you really?” He sighed.

“We said no questions.” She sighed along with him; caressing his hair, playing his game.

"We have to stop doing this to each other. To ourselves." He let the liquor speak for him, soaking up the courage it came with. Johnny took a breath, telling himself to take the leap; to say what he needed to say, to ask for what he yearned to have.

Her hand landed on his arm, squeezing. “Johnny.” Her whisper trembled past her lips.

“Hmm?” He said with incredible caution, squeezing her tighter and bringing her closer. Slowly he opened his eyes, waiting for her to speak.

“Let me go. I don't like this game anymore.” She tried to get away from his hold.

Johnny’s brows furrowed, “What?” He breathed out, not expecting that. He was being serious, he needed to speak before he lost his nerve.

“Just,” She huffed. “Move. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” She hit his shoulder when he didn’t listen.

“You came to me.” He reminded her.

“Yes, and now I want to go.” She grit her teeth. “Please.” She pleaded, practically whimpered in pain, and his hands relaxed the very next moment, letting her go.

“Whatever, (Y/N). I’m tired of this.” He turned away from her.

Despite her earlier insistence, she faltered. He could see her watching him from the corner of her sight, hesitating. Just as he turned to call her out on it, or to finally ask (he wasn't sure), a voice called his name. Both of them turned.

“Hey Johnny,” It was Jessica, the model. “Can you come with me for a moment?”

Johnny turned his gaze to look at (Y/N), finding her jaw gritted and eyes fixed on the girl. His lips quirked despite himself, tongue sliding over his lower lip as it lifted.

“Sure.” He sat up, “I was done here anyways.” He stood up from his seat.

“What?” Johnny stopped in front of Ten. If the way he snapped didn’t betray his irritation, he hoped his face did. “Why did you send Jessica to call me?”

Ten turned to Johnny, taking in the apparent displeasure with a frown of his own.

“Yuta mentioned that he’s meant to keep the two of you apart. I thought I would add to the effort.” Ten shrugged.

Johnny ran her hands through his hair, “Okay.” He groaned, sounding anything but. “But why did you send Jessica?”

“She was passing by and she knows you.”

“Yeah but now (Y/N) thinks–” He paused, exhaling in a way that sounded like another groan. “Nevermind. Did you even want anything?”

“Not really.” Ten smacked his lips, “If I avoided all the people you’ve slept with in my club then I would have had to go call you myself.”

“You should have since you’re so passionate about this. (Y/N) can make her own decisions, just leave it alone.” He flicked a pillow from behind Ten, making the guy fall back into the sofa.

Ten turned around, eyes laced with intention.

“You’re a coward Johnny.”

“Ten.” Taemin cautioned but his conviction did not falter.

“You need to grow up and have a real conversation with the girl you love.” He continued, giving his best friend a pertinent look. “You’re just punishing yourself and that girl for no reason.” His face softened for a moment, looking like he was pitying Johnny. “Sometimes we ruin things beyond repair by letting it be.”

“You need to,” Johnny took a step closer, “Leave it alone.” It was a plea, partially because he knew Ten was right.

“He’s right.” Taemin interjected, “You can’t meddle in his matters.”

"I'm not meddling." Ten hissed at his husband, "I'm tired of watching my best friend wallow in a misery of his own making." He looked at Johnny, "It won't go away if you ignore it. And it won't change till you do something about it. So why?" He asked.

Johnny rubbed his hand over his face, not in his right mind or place to have this conversation. “You don’t get it.” He said with a lost voice.

“You have to do something, Johnny. Do you expect to live in limbo?” Ten added.

He expected her to deal the death blow. Something he would not say out loud. This entire time he had expected— practically hoped— that she would be the one who would have left by now. He would have accepted it, he would have swallowed it as an inevitable, and he would have taken solace in having been right from the start. That she would get bored of him.

He had been so sure of it that he wasn't prepared for this. He hadn't accounted for ever making it this far.

Johnny nodded to Ten, a silent promise. His friend was right, no matter how much it pissed him off. Johnny knew he would at least have to make a decision soon.

(Y/N) walked away from Johnny with cold hands. This was it, her steps faltered. She walked as far away as she could. All the preparation she had done for that exact moment had evaporated with his words. She couldn’t believe that she ran away like she did, only delaying the inevitable.

He was ready to do it, she could feel it in her bones. She could read it all over his face.

I’m tired of this.

That was the exact indifference to the matter she had feared most of all.

Whatever.

It was like being stabbed by a rusted knife— messy and unnecessary in its cruelty.

Whatever, (Y/N).

Her head hurt, she pushed through to get deeper into the club. To somewhere she could not be found. She needed to prepare herself better for this. She was afraid she’d beg him to say, afraid she’d cry. This wasn't the place or the state of mind she needed to be in for this.

Whatever.

She took a deep breath. No, she needed to prepare herself better.

She couldn’t believe that he would do it here. And he would have. Her exhale came out irate, he would have held her in place and told her he was tired of her.

He would have finished the thought had it not been for the model. Miss belly button herself. Her next breath came out utterly furious.

She was tired of this too, she coaxed herself. Tired of being stuck in limbo with the most elusive man she could have possibly laid hands on. She was tired of loving him too, she lied to herself.

She stopped, realising that she was in the emerald alcove. Yuta’s favourite corner. It was a cosy spot lined by arches that circled the area, littered with chairs that were closer together. Each arch had large and thick curtains that were never drawn, but nonetheless served as a visual policy that added to the sense of seclusion it was meant to emulate.

It was also the part of the club where Johnny had fucked his blonde companion on that night.

(Y/N) shoved the thought out of her head as fast as it emerged. The first order of business would be to stop thinking about him all the damn time.

She picked up her drink from the bar, a sweet and potent cocktail this time, her kind of drink. Looking around to find a corner to sit in, her eyes landed on a man at the bar. One she recognised. One of the guys from the basement. The rough one with hooded eyes.

"The glasses really change your face." She sat down on the bar stool beside the one he occupied. The man looked up, surprised to see her.

"Usually people tell me how used to my glasses they are, that my face feels empty without them," He smiled to himself. "But I suppose we met under extraordinary circumstances." He tapped his glass, still giving her an odd look.

"You look disconcerted by the memory." She pursed a smile.

"Not particularly, I just didn't think I'd see you again. I'm a little surprised in all honesty." He commented.

"It's a small world." She shrugged.

"It's an even smaller guest list."

This time she did smile.

"I do finally understand why new faces are such a sensation around here." She continued into a new territory, enjoying the confusion on his face.

"Isn't it so?" He snapped back into a casual retort almost immediately. "It gets awkward really fast when everybody is a friend of a friend."

"Speaking of, where's your friend?" She looked around, wondering if he was close.

The guy smiled, almost like he was expecting it. "Why? Would you prefer his company to mine?"

She looked back, "I'm just curious." Her shrug was noncommittal.

"He must be around here somewhere." The man shrugged back, equally evasive. "We aren't friends, we just fuck sometimes. These big, important men and their secret need to be in the palm of someone's hand." He told her like she somehow knew what he was talking about.

She gave him a puzzled look that made him chuckle.

"I thought Johnny Suh used to wear copper as a joke." This time he steered the conversation into new waters, "But you, I always knew were the silver type." He pointed a finger at her, more victorious than accusatory.

"Nonsense." She laughed.

"You're a natural. I knew it on the day the man spent the entire evening on the floor with your foot in his lap."

"I," She paused, stunned at the mention of the day. From the perspective of a virtual stranger nonetheless. "I can't believe you saw that." She blushed, the memory coming back. It was a joke, something they did to see how their friends would react. It never occurred to her before now how it might look to an onlooker.

"Small pool." He shrugged, "When I first started coming here, I had my eyes on him. But it's easy to tell that he's not the surrendering type. So when I saw that, I couldn't help but have my eyes on you."

She was surprised by the easy confession, an effortless breeze .

"Did I live up to your expectations or was it disappointing?" She questioned, playing her surprise off as flirtation.

"Yes and no." The man smiled, pushing his specs higher up. "On one hand I've finally solved the mystery that is Johnny Suh."

"Oh.” She stopped to wonder if she should ask him to elaborate, thinking against it immediately after. “And on the other?" She asked instead.

"I really wish you did more than just watch."

Her mouth opened with evident surprise, the words so easily said. An absolute and uncomplicated request. The man laughed, clearly enjoying the surprise on her face. It made her snap back.

"Maybe in a few months, we can get back to this." She half joked.

"Months?" He winced, "Are you going on a trip?" He sniggered.

She smiled, not willing to elaborate any further.

"Something to look forward to nonetheless." He raised a glass, "I think your usual is waiting for you." He pointed over her shoulder, making her turn.

Her usual was sitting on one of the sofas, at a considerable distance. She wouldn't even have noticed him without the prompt.

"Well, your glasses work for sure." She squinted. "Trying to get rid of me?" She asked while trying to gauge Johnny's expression. She was unfortunately not wearing her own glasses.

The man laughed, "No, I just believe that some things are best left unbreached." His voice was careful.

She turned back, "And here I thought you were flirting with me."

"Oh I absolutely am. I just have different tastes. Also best left unencroached." He licked his lips.

Her eyes fell on the movement, "I have ears and an open mind." She looked up deliberately slow.

"I don't know, will you just using me to make a point?" He teased, eyes darting behind her.

"You don't seem to mind being used."

His cheeks turned red and it made her lips twitch. She had been denying herself the extent of what the club had to offer, (Y/N) realised.

The man's eyes went behind her again just as she heard shuffling. She rolled her eyes to the heaven's themselves. Eventually, she'd tire of Johnny's predictable antics. Maybe then she'd tire of her own too.

"Is she bothering you again?" Johnny put a hand on her waist, effortless and clear in its intention.

"We were just getting to know each other." The man smiled.

She realised that she hadn't caught his name yet.

"Are you finally socialising?" The question was blatantly aimed at her. But she pretended not to understand, turning to call the bartender over instead.

"A repeat?" The server pointed to her glass but she shook her head.

"Water."

"Time for us to go home, babe?" Johnny leaned down, his breathy question warning her neck. The heat from his hand burned her through her dress as well. The assumption in his words burning her pride.

"You're intruding." The words slipped from her tongue. She didn't look at Johnny but the other man looked up at him with a glint in his eyes.

Johnny laughed again, this time a little more nervous. Good, she thought. She was done pretending to take him in stride.

"(Y/N)–" Johnny began, his words careful.

"Go home, Johnny." She interrupted. "Didn't you say you were tired?" She turned to look at him. Johnny looked down at her with a heavy frown. She braced herself for some dreaded response. But he said nothing, just watching her for a fleeting moment in a way that gave her hope. Hope that immediately soured when he looked away.

"I'm actually tired." She said simply. "You might have to go look for belly button again. What was her name, again?"

"You never asked her name."

"Right. It's for the best, I suppose." She grit her teeth, hands tightening around her glass. "It would be a long day if I tried to keep up with them all."

His eyes glimmered with ill intention as he leaned closer to her face. Pride made her stand her ground, not look away.

"I've done it to you too. If you want me to do it again just ask." He licked his lips, a heated reminder of a few months ago when things were so very different. Every inch of her skin flushed.

"Fuck you." She spat, the implied consolation in the words enraging her from head to toe. Especially when he didn't sound consolatory at all.

She turned when she heard the chair beside her move.

"Leaving so soon?" She asked the man. He shrugged, adjusting his glasses and giving her a nod.

"Come on." Johnny nudged her, "We're done."

"No, I'm just getting started." She met his gaze from the corner of her eyes, You can go back to whatever cunt you crawled out of." She eyed Johnny's unruly hair, ruined by god knows what, truly at the tail end of her patience and pretence.

She turned back to give the man a smile, "I'm sorry, please just ignore him."

He gave an uneasy laugh, looking up at Johnny before back at her. Before the man could get another word in, she felt Johnny close in again. This time his fingers slid down her arms.

He did it so deliberately slow, so expertly, that apart from breaking into goosebumps, she also visibly shivered. His lips part against the shell of her ear, the sound rattling her spine.

"The only cunt I'm crawling in or out of is yours. I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out by now." He kissed the skin under her ear, making her shut her eyes. The words and the action did exactly what he intended. She melted against him, heart soaring at the confession.

The chair beside her slid back further, making her eyes open. "Never a boring day in this club." The man chuckled to himself, walking away after giving her a last wave and Johnny an amiable nod.

"I hate you." She spat at Johnny once he was gone.

"Okay." Johnny said, not even pretending to take her seriously. "Come, I want to fuck you." He brushed his fingers over her knuckles. The words made her stomach twist and clench. "I even wore your favourite little chain." He took her hand in his, the gold chain hanging from the wrist.

Her lungs slammed her heart, no doubt exhausted by its flightless fancies. He was giving her what she wanted. It was all she would have. Johnny was giving in to her for once.

Fuck. She cursed in her head. Just this once.

She still didn't turn to look at him, "Will you honour it?" The words came out easier than she would have liked. Johnny hummed against her ears, lifting her hand to his lips.

"Anything you want." He kissed the tips of her fingers one by one.

"Are you still playing your game?" Doubt made her ask the question, finally daring to turn just enough to see his face. She wanted him to say no. He looked up and remained silent instead.

Her ensuing exhale was one of surrender, "Fine, let's play."

A game was all it was, she supposed.

Johnny lay back in bed with a kind of cocky smirk that looked like he had already won. She couldn’t fathom what he was so proud about. But then again, he had no clue what was to come.

“How will you have me?” He asked, undeterred by the weight of any consequences. He put his arms behind his head, relaxing further into the bed. She didn’t answer him, turning her back to him to peek through the amenities drawer. After rummaging through all the intriguing objects, she settled on a long satin cloth. Running it between her fingers she closed her eyes to feel it, deciding that this would have to do.

When she turned, his eyes were waiting, taking the object in.

“Are you going to blindfold me to deprive me of your pretty face? Or will you do it to yourself to pretend I’m someone else. The man from earlier, perhaps?” He raised a brow.

She said nothing, keeping her eyes roaming and on anything but him. Gently, she put the cloth down at the very foot of the bed before walking into the washroom.

When she returned, Johnny’s brows were furrowed. He tried to smooth it out when she came into view, but the subconscious frown on his lips remained. It made her purse a smile.

For all his menacing ways, Johnny was a generous lover. His intention was to push her beyond the edges of her flimsy patience, going a little further each time till she was surprised at her own limits.

But he was also kind in a way that he didn’t realise. Johnny would take his time, but the man always gave in before he intended. True to his personality, he went with the flow and stayed starkly aware of his partner. She could always trust that he would never push her beyond a limit she could not handle.

She however was not the same. Not as seasoned as he was, she was driven solely by her need to stake a claim on his bottomless patience.

Her need to control him was unique to him only. (Y/N) had never desired to conquer a man like she wanted to conquer Johnny Suh. It made her petty and it made her unpredictable. He had known how to push her buttons from the first day she walked into this place. Even before that, Johnny always knew how to push her professionally. He drove her to blinding rage that left her vulnerable.

It made her mean in retaliation. Her method was to distress him in an effort to shatter his usual easygoing resolve. She liked to watch him beg as much as he did her, but more than that she liked to watch him as he let her get away with it all.

She was always at his fingertips. But he was also wrapped around her fingers. And she'd take every opportunity she had left to remind him of that.

He turned to look at her, trying to hide his growing impatience. She untied her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders with a sigh.

She stopped at the edge of the bed, eyes going over his entire form. Her eyes halted at his legs, returning to his waiting gaze with a silent instruction. Johnny decided to play dumb, raising both his brows in clueless question.

She didn't move, watching him with such impassive patience that a part of her was impressed by her own restraint. There was a silent stare off that she promised to win on account of the indignation she'd been holding at bay for two weeks.

Johnny smiled, a thought sparking his eyes.

"You do it." He stared at her, "Please?" His voice dripped with his taunt.

She turned away from him, walking back to the foot to pick up the sash she left. His eyes followed her as she came back. Sitting beside him, she placed her hand across his torso. Tilting her head to her shoulder she watched him for a second, eyes storming with contemplation.

"Come here." She finally said, fingers brushing over the buttons of his pants. He moved so fast that he almost threw them both off the bed. Her lips twitched and she had to look away to bite it back.

"We don't know each other." She said softly, fingers flicking the button off. When she looked up, Johnny's brows were furrowed in confusion. "We're strangers who met here today. That's the people we can pretend to be."

Johnny chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he wanted to say something.

"It's my turn. That's the part I want to play." She reinforced her idea, taking his silence as agreement.

Johnny nodded, confused but intrigued by where this was going. She was angry, it was plain to see. Johnny had never really seen how her fury looked when it boiled over. But he hadn't expected it to be this silent. He tried to push down the fear it brewed deep within his bones. With all his pushing, Johnny also knew how to pull back. So he allowed himself to go along with the game, hoping he hadn't pushed her too far.

When she did pull his pants down, Johnny's dick stood up like it was peering to catch a glance. As usual, a traitor. She unclenched her fingers, the sash falling on his legs. Still unsure of its purpose, he extended his hands to her, wrists held together.

She looked up at him with cold amusement, "Do you want to be restrained that bad?"

"What else could it be for?" He asked, voice betraying his impatience.

"You don't need to be tied, Johnny. You never do. It's not like something so flimsy would hold you anyway." He watched her toy with the object, gingerly wrapping one end of the cloth around her palm a few times. The other end still resting against his thigh.

"Then?"

"What? Don't trust me?" She raised an expectant brow.

"Right now, I'm not sure what you're going to do." He gave her a cautious gaze, yet again failing to gauge her state of mind.

"Just lie back."

So he did, he listened to her and relaxed back against the pillows.

She raised her hand flicking the sash up, the material brushed against his dick, making it twitch again. She did it again, moving it back and forth against his tip till he was clenching his thighs.

"What are you doing?" He asked between rapid breaths.

"Don't like it?" She questioned, meeting his gaze. When she moved it again, the smooth cloth brushed over the underside of his cock, grazing the vein that was now bulging. Johnny's hips lifted off the bed. "You seem to like it." She hummed.

She looked back down, spinning the sash around this time. The thing wrapped around his cock in hypnotising circles, covering the length with feather light brushes. When it brushed over his tip, Johnny had to close his eyes.

He had been so on edge all evening, so excruciatingly hard, that his dick was beyond sensitive. It made the delicate friction shoot liquid electricity up his legs, fresh blood pumping into his already stiff dick.

Then she tugged the ribbon with one harsh pull, the entire thing tightening around his length in one exquisite clench.

"Fuck." He groaned, hips bucking up again. "That's–" He began, but the material was already coming loose, making his eyes shoot open just as she let it fall slack.

Before words could form in his mind, before Johnny even tried, she was moving it back and forth again.

"What are you trying to do?" He asked, feeling as confused as he did aroused.

"I'm going to get you off. That's what you want, right?" She blinked up at his face, giving him an innocent look.

He wanted her to touch him. But that felt like a confession of subjugation.

"I'm not going to get off like this." He said instead. Her lips twitched, the glint in her eyes telling him that he'd said the wrong thing.

"Are you assuming, or is that a promise?" She questioned.

Johnny didn't respond, knowing well when he'd walked into one of her traps. She knew it too, returning to the task at hand with a chuckle.

"I'll take that as a promise then." She spoke softly, words as gentle as the satin that brushed against his dick over and over.

With each stroke, he felt the skin get more sensitive than he thought possible. His hips squirmed more frequently, eyes fluttering shut, the fabric edging him to insanity. The precum that was beading at his tip began to make each brush a little harsher.

It wasn't enough to even pretend to search for the beginnings of a build up. Yet it made his cock twitch a little more with each brush, just enough to feel good in what it was denying him. Johnny's lips parted when she wrapped the ribbon around his dick again, brows creasing as she tugged the thing tight around his length. He would have laughed at his state had he not felt so incredibly turned on.

"You love this." She seemed to choke on her own realisation, just as he felt the cloth begin to wrap around his dick again. Knowing what was coming, he braced himself. "Look at you, Whore." She clicked her tongue, "Your fingers are going to tear the sheets."

Heat spread from his forehead down his chest, suddenly too aware of the effect this was having on him.

"I'm trying not to grab your hair and put your mouth where it belongs." He opened his eyes, just in time for her to pull the sash taut again. A moan slipped past his open mouth.

"Where does my mouth belong?" She goaded him, "On your cock?" A dismissive hum slipped past her lips. "Looking at you now, I think my mouth is too good for you."

With that, Johnny could agree. Her mouth was too good for anyone. He wasn't sure that he wouldn't come the moment she so much as brushed her lips against it.

"You've kept me hard and waiting all night. There's only so much a man can take." His thighs unclenched as the ribbon released his length, falling around the base in circles.

"I told you to go bury your busy cock in some other hole."

"And I told you I only want to bury myself in you." He raised a brow, annoyed that she refused to believe him.

He saw the shift in her gaze and the red that tinted her cheeks.

"Let me feel how wet you are." The words rushed out with desperation, taking the liberty the moment gave him. Slowly, he dragged his hands closer to her. Despite the caution she was menacing, tightening the cloth against his base with a swift jerk. The friction made him wince, his hips lifting off the mattress again.

"Take your time with your game. I just want to see how much your pussy missed me."

Her breath came in and out in sharp waves, never too far to not be affected by the right words. Words he knew best.

"Behave." She warned him.

"No." He sat up, enjoying the uneven rise and fall of her chest.

"Alright." She said, letting the sash go entirely.

Johnny raised his head, a little surprised by her agreement. He also couldn’t believe the pang of disappointment that racked through him at the loss of the touch.

"Take your shirt off." She pointed her chin to his chest.

Experience told Johnny that there was a catch, but it also told him to do what he was told. He took off his buttons rapidly, afraid she'd change her mind.

“You’re very eager.”

“I’ve had a long night.”

She got off the bed, bending over to pull her panties off. Johnny licked his lips before he could truly understand and control the urge. She caught the sight, lips cocking in an arrogant smirk. Both of them turned to catch his dick twitch.

She stood up once the garment was off, walking back towards him while Johnny curbed the urge to demand she take her dress off too.

Slowly, she got on the bed. Resting either knee over his waist, Johnny put his arms behind his head to watch her straddle him. Feeling cocky himself, he let a smirk light his lips. When she caught it, her own smirk looked to pity him.

“You’re also very presumptuous.” She started moving forwards. His tip brushed against her clit as she moved, both of their breaths seizing in tandem.

To his surprise, she got a hold of herself before he did, lifting herself higher to avoid a repeat.

Having already lost the upper hand in the situation, Johnny parted his lips. “Do it again.” He asked shamelessly.

She ignored the words, not even refusing or reminding him of his current station. When she sat down, it was on his abdomen. For a moment, his senses blurred.

Johnny could feel the smooth glide of her wet slit, practically slipping.

“Fuck Kitten, You’re so wet.” He hissed, stomach clenching tight along with his fist as he resisted the desire to grab her waist.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.” She breathed out, the shake in her voice betraying the intensity of the sentiment.

“Just listen to your sopping pussy squelch for me.” He groaned, head falling back as he heard the sound of her pressing against him. “You just love using me, don’t you?”

“How can you tell? Are you used to being used?” She questioned.

Johnny thought it was a joke, lifting his head with humour in his eyes. But upon meeting her gaze, he saw it bore into him, looking displeased.

Right.

He forgot they were strangers.

“I know the type.” He answered after several moments.

“Oh? A lot of experience in the area?”

“Mmhm.” He hummed.

Both her hands pressed against his chest, “Eager and presumptuous men should be used once in a while. Keeps you grounded, don’t you agree?” Her hips slid forward, head falling over almost immediately.

She bit back a moan. Johnny smiled.

“I’m not sure I do.”

“No?” Her next glide came as Johnny flexed his stomach, pulling a hiss from her. “You need a change in perspective.”

“Is that what you’re here to do? Enlighten me?” He raised a brow.

She nodded, eyes fluttering closed. With each glide of her hips, it got harder for her to hold still. Soon, her legs were tightening around his waist. They still shook, despite the tight grip.

“Your legs will be sore tomorrow.” Johnny warned.

"You should be more concerned about yourself right now."

"I think I'm doing good." He sighed, lips lifting in a relaxed smile.

"That's unfortunate. We can't have that." Her breath stuttered as Johnny flexed his stomach in retaliation.

Johnny scoffed, "You just love to make it harder for yourself, don't you? Just wait till later."

"Later?" She hummed, hips coming to a halt. "Do you think you'll see me again?"

Johnny chewed on the inside of his cheek. That was not funny to him at all. It leeched what little enjoyment he had and he had to close his eyes to take in a furious breath as she began humping into him again.

(Y/N) couldn't tell why he had gone quiet all of a sudden. She wasn't supposed to care, she wasn't going to. He was doing what she had intended to do. She told herself that his silence was also a tactic. That is why she felt bothered. Her hands pressed against his chest with more urgency, the movement of her hips getting faster.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked after so long that she gasped at the sudden sound. She nodded, her pace increasing as she felt the knot in her stomach tie itself tighter.

She looked up at his eyes, this close the building pleasure in her core muffled her brain further. (Y/N) leaned in, eyes fixed on his lips. Everything aside, she always missed kissing him the most.

She didn't expect his hand to move at all, nonetheless to grab her chin. He squeezed her cheeks harshly, lifting her face to meet his gaze as he sat up.

"I don't kiss strangers." He reminded her, making her crumble inside. "Understood?" He raised an irate brow. She nodded and he let go as fast as he had grabbed her, bringing his hands back to his sides and relaxing again.

Her pace slowed down a little despite herself. She felt rattled by the words.

Right.

She forgot that he could be cruel too when he wanted to be. At least in these cases, they were true equals.

After losing her rhythm, the tightness in her belly slipped away. No matter how fast she moved her hips, what angle or pattern she tried, she felt frustratingly far away from the build up that never came.

"You don't seem to be doing too good. Need help?" His words were a taunt. She thought it best to ignore it, moving down to sit atop his length. Johnny's head fell back as a sigh left her.

"I think I can manage." She muttered, too distracted by her own frustrations.

"I don't think you can." He spoke through a tight jaw, "Ever used a man before, honey? I don't think you know how to do this." He continued to provoke her.

"And you do?" She asked, sliding over his length. Both of them gasped when his tip nudged her clit, leaving his length wet from her leaking insides. "You look too busy being pussy drunk."

"I'm nothing if not a multi-tasker." He groaned, hips bucking once before he pressed it back down with the sheer force of his will.

She smiled, "That's a lot of promises."

"Give me a chance and I'll show you."

She thought about the first time he was at her mercy like that, the time feeling like it was years ago instead of just one. His every overconfident claim drove her mad, even more so when he lived up to each claim and more.

She thought about her first night here, not even strangers back then. She thought about the first time she had met him. About how she knew him as the man who had built himself a monolith.

In truth, Johnny had never been a stranger to her. She walked into her interview the same way she had walked into the room much like this one a year ago.

Absolutely enamoured by him.

She stopped moving entirely, "Fine."

Johnny lifted his head to look at her, "What?"

She thought about the little things that could have been different the first time around. Whether they would have produced a different outcome.

"Show me." She lifted her arms, surrendering to him.

His hands came to her back in a flash, lifting her and dropping her down in a heartbeat. Her head fell on the very edge of the bed, knocking the air out of her.

"Are you sure?" He asked, eyes boring into hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "Have you known me to offer anything if I wasn't?"

He raised a brow, forehead gathering. "I thought we didn't know each other."

"Your turn." She told him.

The words made him chew on his bottom lip, his free arm tracing up and down her leg and driving her wild.

"Alright. Sit up." He nodded, pulling back.

Confused, she regardless did what he asked. As she sat up, his hands came to her waist, keeping her on his lap.

Her nose knocked into his, the proximity to his stormy eyes making her dizzy.

"First thing," He whispered, hand coming to her hair. "We don't need these." He unclasped the pin that held the chain in her hair, taking the one on his wrist off right after.

She gave him a confused look but didn't question it.

"We play my parts now." His breath hitched, "There are no winners. I don't want to fight, I don't want to win. I don't want to be strangers." She heard the small clink of the two chains being placed on the table, his eyes coming back to hers right after, "I want to make love to you." He kissed her eyelid.

Her chest crumbled at the words, caving in and grinding itself into pieces. Helplessly, she nodded.

He shifted, gently placing her head on the pillows.

"Wrap your legs around my waist." He whispered, words as delicate as his actions. She did what she was told.

"Why are you doing this?" She couldn't help but ask, needing an answer.

"You said you wanted to be furthest from who we are. We're already strangers, (Y/N). Despite everything, I still don't know you."

"You could just ask." She whispered, brushing her knuckles over his chin. "I'd tell you anything you want. All you have to do is ask."

Johnny's eyes steeled over at the words and she bit down on her lips hard, cursing herself for letting her sentiments get ahead of her.

"You were truly born to drive me crazy." He groaned, leaning down to kiss her jaw. She froze, expecting him to kiss her. But his lips moved lower instead, hands coming up to the ends of her bunched dress.

"Taking this off." He mumbled against her skin. She nodded.

He pulled back to do the task, watching her with intoxicating intensity as she lifted her hips off the bed.

"So beautiful." He sighed, "I don't understand how you're mine." He breathed out, making the growing cavity in her chest swarm with butterflies. The lines between pretence and reality blurred long before they even existed.

"The same way you're mine." She dared to say, the thought itself as devastating as it was euphoric.

Johnny groaned with approval, hands slipped between them to pull her panties off, "Should I ease you into it?" He asked, finger brushing over her entrance.

Despite seeing white spots in her vision at the touch, she shook her head. "No, I'm good."

His head lifted, eyes coating with tenderness, something she didn't realise she had been yearning for, "Still, it's been a while."

She tugged at the edge of his shirt, bringing him closer, "Your dick is inside me more than it's outside it." She wiggled under him, her impatience already fighting with her need to cherish this moment, "I promise you, I can take it." She huffed.

"What a filthy mouth," He curled his smiling lips, leaning forward till their foreheads touched. She held her breath, again expecting him to kiss her, but he just brushed his lips over the corner of her mouth. "Did you miss my cock?"

"Johnny," She whined, "Please. I need you."

"Answer me, (Y/N)." He asked and she nodded.

Her eyes screwed shut, "I–Fuck." Her words jumbled, when she felt him nudge against her writhing hole.

"Did you?" He asked with a wispy voice, stuttering.

More than anything else, she missed him. All of him. The confession at the very tip of her lips, threatening to flow.

They were playing a part she reminded herself. For a few moments, she was safe behind it.

She forced her eyes open, "It was you I missed. God I miss you so much I might just go mad."

Johnny forsake his control, slowly beginning to ease himself into her. Every muscle in her body went stuff, endless mutters leaving her lips.

"Really?” He asked through his teeth.

"Every goddamn day." She responded with the same gritted jaw.

He hummed, sounding infuriatingly unconvinced. "Why didn't you come to me then?" He stopped after only a few inches, pulling back out again.

"You told me you wanted a break. From me. What was I supposed to do? You weren't even here. You did everything you can to avoid me."

"You did it to me too." He muttered. To her surprise he pouted, the gesture giving her whiplash as he entered her again a little further this time. "You're so wet, baby. So tight." He groaned, eyes shutting for a moment like he was taking it in.

Baby. It was something he had never called her before. Her insides clenched around him in the same way her heart squeezed around those words— holding the moment as tight as she could. He'd used an array of words to refer to her, to call her, to praise her and degrade her. Yet nothing ever felt like this one. As unassuming as it was. Maybe she was actually mad.

"I can't come and just demand your attention. I'm not like you, I just can't do it." She huffed, frustrated and relieved at the same time.

"You're always demanding my attention."

"That's untrue."

"Is it?"

It wasn't. She did always make an effort to be at the forefront of her mind. Of course like many other things, she'd assumed she was good at keeping it covert. In actuality, like most other things, he was just letting her get away with it.

But this was different. This wasn't about teasing him or toying with his need for excitement. This was him wanting a change. She knew that because he told her as much. It hurt her beyond consolation and she couldn't be in front of him with that.

It had been a year and she had probably become stale to him.

"Why are you fighting with me?" She said instead of acknowledging those things, "I thought you wanted to be in love?"

"This is how love feels like," He looked over her face. "So I'm told." He marched the words with the slow retreat of his length.

On this, she could agree with him. Of all the things people had to say about love, no one warned her how gut wrenching it could also be. She'd hate it if the good parts hadn't made up for it and more.

Her overwhelmed mind made the next question spill, "What does it feel like to you?" She asked him, not sure what she was expecting.

"Like this." He sighed, beginning to push so slightly back inside her. "Like being inside you."

The words made her clench around him yet again. She wanted nothing more than for him to mean those words. Moments like this made her wonder just how she had managed to mask her real feelings for so long. Especially now, when every inch of her seemed to be bursting with it.

"Kiss me, Johnny." Her eyes fluttered open, swallowing whatever remained of her pride to ask for what he already denied her. “Show me just how much you love me."

Johnny’s eyes softened like they melted— glistening despite being in the shadow.

Then his lips pressed against hers and she felt like her entire being lit up with the brunt of her relief. Her hands came to his neck, his to her hips, holding each other like it was the only thing they knew.

She sighed into his mouth without meaning to, the faintest moisture collecting in the corner of her eyes. She had truly missed kissing him. He had ruined the act of it. He had given her the privilege of kissing her, and now she considered it a privilege outright.

It would also be the thing she would miss the most. That and his smile, the sound of his voice when he laughed, the way he said her name. (Y/N) wondered if she'd ever truly be able to kiss another person again.

Johnny's lips moulded over hers like they were completing a puzzle. His hand stroked her thigh gently as her head tilted up to deepen the kiss. He kissed her slow and he kissed her fast, taking his time to navigate each familiar crevice. His sigh was touching, one of relief and comfort. She could get lost in that alone, locking the sound away in her memories.

She'd miss him so much when he was gone that she missed him already. Her arms pressed him closer to her, with more urgency. When he trailed his kisses down her neck, she used the opportunity to wipe her eyes against her shirt, still hanging on his shoulder.

Now Johnny entered her completely, and it took her breath away. Her arm squeezed his neck, his shoulder muffling her moan.

"Good?" He questioned, more as a gauge of her state than to fish for compliments.

"The best." She couldn't help herself if she tried. When he probed the thicker part of her walls she moaned his name so loud that she was sure it could be heard all the way to the basement.

"Yes right there." She added once the stars in her vision dulled.

"Yes, I know." He chuckled, peppering kisses all over her neck and cheek. "I know." He reassured.

"Don't stop." She whined, the pleasure mixing with the flurry of emotions to drive her mad. "Johnny, please."

"I won't." The words accompanied a tender hush. "I've got you." He promised.

"Johnny, I'm so—" He cut her off by grabbing her chin, lifting himself higher and making her look into his eyes.

"I love you. You." He tripped over his words. "I love you so much. More than life itself." He groaned, brows furrowing. "Fuck, you were just made for me and I spend all my time thinking about just that." His thrusts started to get sloppy, only spurred on by her tight grip around him. "That and just how much I fucking love you."

Her lips parted on their own accord, "Johnny, I–" But the words were cut off by a moan as he came with a sudden shiver. The feeling of his come shooting inside her sending her into her own orgasm as he kept up his ridiculous pace.

(Y/N) had never felt hollow the way she felt when he pulled out of her after what felt like hours of just laying there. She couldn't even feel the relief of his weight lifting off her chest.

He was staring at her from the side, she could feel his eyes looking her over, analysing each movement on her face. When he took in a breath— to say something, she got out of bed. Once again fear grabbed at her, mind filling with every possible explanation he would have to dismiss everything that had just happened.

"I should get cleaned up." She mumbled to the floor, not even bothering to gather any of her clothes. She just went into the bathroom and stayed in the tub. Long enough to be sure he was asleep.

Or gone.

(Y/N) woke up to the feel of Johnny’s hand sliding up her legs, resting on her hip. She smiled, pulling her head back to look at him through her slitted gaze.

“Morning.” Johnny’s voice, as deep as it was on most mornings, was too cautious. Her brows knit, confused for a moment. Then the previous night came back to her, reminding her that this wasn’t most mornings.

She hummed in response, “Where did you get pajamas?” She asked, eyeing the dark green t-shirt and pants that she was certain weren’t from his closet.

“The bottom drawers in the dresser always have a pair or two.” He informed her, the first she heard of this.

“Why didn’t I get one?” Her brows gathered. Johnny just gave her a cheeky grin.

“We haven’t spent a night here before, have we?” He questioned her.

“I haven’t.” She mumbled, shifting to bury her face further in his neck then she found it when she woke. But the reminder had ruined the harmless mood.

Pulling away felt too awkward to pull off so she just tried to shift again. Johnny must have read her mind because his arm came back to her leg, pulling it up on his own and leaving a chaste kiss on her forehead. A sigh left her lips, finding comfort in the familiar situation despite the circumstances. The air in the room was, nonetheless, tense. She told herself she'd take away these moments as relics.

None of them spoke to fill the silence. In truth, there was nothing to say. Only when it got too hot did she pull back from him.

Silently, (Y/N) slipped out of bed, looking around to spot her clothes. A knock on the door made her rise, grabbing one of the robes that always hung from the bathroom door.

She opened it to find Charlie, one of the servers, standing with her things in his hand.

“Mr. Nakamoto sent your things.” He reached his hands out with her bag, “I took the liberty of bringing Mr. Suh’s things as well.” He handed her the paper bag as well.

“Thank you, Charlie.” She smiled, “I heard that you’re getting married?” She beamed and the man blushed in response, giving her a shy nod.

The overnight bag she had packed for Yuta’s house was heavy and made it difficult to open it with both hands full. She reached into the packet in which Charlie handed over Johnny’s belongings, taking his wallet out to pick out a note to hand to the man for his efforts.

“Next time you’re manning the bar, I want to know how you met your partner.” She smiled at him and he thanked her for the tip. Once she closed the door, she could put the bags down. Sighing from the release of the burden, she opened her bag to fish her own wallet out, replacing the money she took from Johnny.

“You didn’t have to do that.” His voice came from behind. She turned, finding him leaning against the wall and watching her carefully, arms crossed in front of his chest. She just shrugged in return, coming up to hand him his things before walking into the bathroom.

When she emerged, she was dressed for the day. Johnny was laying in bed with his feet on the floor, looking up from his phone when she walked into his line of vision.

“Where are you going?” He asked, brows furrowed like he was somehow expecting her to stay.

“Yuta and I are supposed to have brunch today. Hyuck too.” She spoke while clasping her watch.

“The breakfast here is pretty good. You can just eat downstairs.” Johnny sat up, phone dropping on his chest and then on the bed.

She looked up at him, lost. Breakfast was another thing she did not know the club provided.

Johnny seemed to catch on, eyes lighting up with amusement. "Really, it's like a hotel if you can ignore the large bowls of condoms everywhere."

She laughed under her breath, “Ten’s more entrepreneurial than you are.”

“I’ll have you know that it was my idea.” He said defensively, smiling nonetheless.

“Oh.” She chuckled, “My apologies. The condoms or the breakfast?" Picking up her shoes, (Y/N) sat down at the edge of the bed.

"The breakfast. The condoms are more of a legal failsafe. Your department more than mine."

Both of them laughed.

The next several moments were silent till she finished putting on her shoes, his hand coming to her waist as she started getting up.

He snaked the arm around her to halt her efforts, “Stay.” It was a single word packed with a heavy request. She could feel his eyes on her in the mirror in front of them, keeping her own gaze fixed on the floor.

“I can’t.” It was an equally simple response, laced with a heavy implication. She looked up at the mirror, meeting his gaze. “We have reservations.” It was a flimsy excuse that seemed to get a rise out of him.

His soft eyes hardened, “You came prepared to stay the night, it seems.” His eyes drifted to her large bag.

It was a petty thing to say and for a moment she wondered if she should lie, give him the shot of provocation that he was seeking when he said the words. But the antagonism that filled the previous night had weighed down on her. She was tired.

"My original plan was to go for dinner and crash at Yuta's. It was Hyuck who insisted on coming here.”

Johnny hummed, the sound heavy with the words he held back, unconvinced. It made her turn to him, “I have no reason to lie to you.” The words were the simple truth and she could tell that it did the very thing she was trying to avoid.

Her eyes wandered over his face, taking in the way he was trying to hide his outrage. She wondered if it was his ego or if she wanted to delude herself into thinking he actually cared. “All this time and I still don’t understand you.” She bit the corner of her mouth, regretting the words for the argument it would spur.

“It’s not like you ever ask.” He slid closer, nose knocking against hers. His eyes looked up from her lips expectantly.

She wondered if he wanted a question or a kiss.

Her phone rang while she debated and she told herself it was divine intervention. Except it was just her best friend.

“Ask Johnny if he wants to go for brunch with us.” Yuta skipped the greetings to land the poignant jab. Of course he already knew who she was with. There was never going to be anybody else.

“No.” She got up from the bed, gathering her things.

Despite every ounce of sense telling her otherwise, she turned to look at him, meeting his gaze to give him a silent farewell. There was the brimming fear of this being the last time, afterall.

The thought made her still. She had to shake her head and look away.

“Meet me downstairs. Did you find Hyuck?” She asked, walking out of the room.

Another week passed and (Y/N) had begun the process of mourning. Taking the last two days of the work week off, she had holed herself up in the safety of her apartment for three days now. The time had been spent consuming enough sugar to remind herself that she never had a sweet tooth, before shifting to the store of sour candy that was seemingly endless. Putting the first one in her mouth made her eyes well.

Finally, she started looking for a different job, her constantly blurring eyes making the task take much longer than intended.

That Saturday night, she fell asleep trying to imagine how she would hand in her resignation to him. What could she even say? How would she avoid explaining to him that she couldn’t be around him.

She simply was not as aloof as she wanted both of them to believe.

The building phone never rang. The day doorman never had to see people come to her apartment unless they were with her or he knew them as her regular guests. The one on the night shift was new.

Her first thought was the most obvious one. It was Johnny, it had to be. But she reminded herself that she had other people in her life. It could be Yuta with some ridiculous situation that only he could have. It could be Doyoung since she had let it slip that her non-relationship with her boss was beginning to sizzle off.

“Hello?” She finally answered the phone.

“I’m sorry Miss, there’s a man here that refuses to give his name. He says you know who it is. I told him that you don’t take visitors this late.”

She huffed. That reduced her guesses to two of the three. Nonetheless, she was grateful for the man’s caution.

“I’ll be down in a moment.” She sighed.

The elevator dinged and she clenched her hands inside the pocket of her hoodie. The one that was not hers. Despite her reasonings, she of course knew who was the moment the phone rang.

Johnny stood in the lobby with his hands on his hips, a frown set deeply on his face. His hair glistened under the lights and her eyes drifted to the doors behind him.

It was raining.

“Your new place is definitely high on safety.” He remarked, lips still downturned. "Your doorman thinks I'm a thief who'd walk through the front door." He pointed behind him, a small grunt leaving his frustrated lips.

She loved him, she realised for the millionth time. This time with a sudden jolt. Despite every rational thought begging her to do otherwise. She loved him so dearly and so hopelessly that she didn't know what to do with it at all.

Johnny looked restless, his feet tapping against the floor. She could understand and she could forgive it. That was how much she loved him.

She loved him. A sigh of relief left her, like the crashing of waves on a rocky shore after it finally met land. It was useless to pretend otherwise. She loved him and she'd let him in anytime he showed up.

He was in a suit, the rain ruining the fabric permanently. She wondered why he was in one on a Saturday at midnight.

His hands dropped to his side, “You haven’t been coming to work.” He said as the gap between them began to close with each stride. “I was preparing for the quarterly distributor meeting and Kun’s notes made no sense. He’s on a work trip too. I had to call the entire legal team into work today because all of the copyright issues seem to be funnelled through you.”

She stopped a few metres short of being in his personal space. “I’m entitled to my leaves.”

“Then you should brief the team properly so work doesn’t stop when you aren’t around.”

He was right, she gave him a nod to affirm it as well.

“Did you get what you needed?” She asked, flexing her fists in the safety of the deep pockets of the hoodie.

“Yes. The intern, Hendery, had a decent idea. I hired him tonight.”

“Good. He’s good enough to replace me with enough training.”

Johnny’s frown went from expressing discontent to a confused one. She'd put the hint in his mind now.

“HR said you’re sick.” Johnny mumbled after a moment of silence, shuffling.

“It’s a cold. I just needed the time off to feel better.”

Johnny nodded, hands coming back to his hips. He kept nodding, deep in thought.

“Is that the reason you came all the way here? I was sleeping.” She finally huffed, feeling the brunt of her own indignation suddenly.

His brows knit, arm coming up so he could glance at his watch.

“Oh.” His face smoothened in one go, “I didn’t realise it was this late. I was just driving around to clear my head.” He slowly put his hand down, biting down on his bottom lip.

She finally took her own hands out of her pockets, only to cross her arms in front of her chest. She knew why he was here, but she wanted him to admit it. She needed him to confirm so she could act like she wasn't giving in without a fight. Her dignity was the one thing she wanted to walk away with.

“I’m sorry!” He finally huffed, following with a groan that came from somewhere deep inside him. She blinked, incredibly surprised. “Is that what you want me to say?” He huffed again.

The last part ticked her off, “I don’t want you to say anything. What are you sorry for? Is it for waking me up because that is fair, but it’s not the first time you’ve done it.” The words were deliberately cautious.

Johnny groaned, running a hand over his face. “You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be.”

“What are you sorry for?” She asked, raising her chin and burying her brimming hope.

He gave her a look of furious disbelief.

“For once,” He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was second guessing himself.

“What?” She asked with more anger bubbling in her words, taking two steps closer. He took notice, his own two steps closing their gap. Now they were in each other’s personal space.

“For once, can’t you give in to me?” There was a desperation that made the edge of his words blunt.

She stared at him with disbelief. "From the moment I met you I've only ever given into you."

"I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about work, or bed. I mean your pride. Put it aside for once. Tell me you want me. Give in to me." He took just another step closer.

Remembering the place, she turned to the doorman, “You can let him in next time.” She raised her voice enough to be heard by the man.

Her gaze softened when it came back to Johnny and she prayed to god that he couldn’t see the glisten in them. Finding a real touch too scathing to execute, she settled for hooking her finger through one of his belt loops.

"You wouldn't be here if you believed I don't."

"I'm here because I'm giving up. I'm done. I don't want a change, I want you."

The confession washed her in a flood of relief. She would love him as long as he'd let her.

"And I came down here because I'm giving in. I don't want a break. Either leave me once and for all or never say that to me again."

Johnny chewed on his bottom lip, taking in the tempest in her eyes.

“Take me upstairs.” He asked like that wasn’t exactly where she was taking him. Like it wasn’t the inevitable outcome he had in mind when he walked into the lobby. For all his claims, he knew how quick she gave into him. “You can sleep, you look so tired. I don't want anything, I just want to be here.”

“You will sleep too.” She announced, turning away to pull him towards the elevator.

Once on the elevator, a thought made her freeze, “The place is a mess.” She warned him, remembering the cave she had turned the place into in the past week.

He gave her a cautious look, “(Y/N). Baby.” He laughed, her gut kicking up an assault at his tender tone. “Your place is always a mess.”

She frowned, taking her hand out of his to smack his chest.

“Hey!” She huffed.

Johnny groaned, a grin tugging at his lips after.

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