Tumgik
#i get good amounts of sleep so why am i exhausted 24/7
i-am-very-confuse · 6 months
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i don’t think people should be able to get this tired
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billiethepumpkin · 7 months
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Ships in the Night: Tamaki Amajiki
Kinktober Day 3
Warnings: Rated X. This content is intended to be viewed by those aged 18 years or older. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Contains: Dominant reader. Male masturbation. Voyeurism. Handjob. Male orgasm. Overstimulation. Dacryphilia (crying). Begging.
Author's Note: All characters are written to be aged 18 years or older because I am an old fuck. :)
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It had been days since you had even seen each other. 
Suneater was an up and coming hero, and he was on call practically 24/7. He was exhausted by the time he got done with his patrol shifts, and he was often called away in the middle of the night to handle villains. You, on the other hand, were going strong in your own career, and you were just as busy as him. You both worked an insane amount of hours, and you rarely ever had time to spend on yourselves, let alone each other. Even though you lived together, you were like ships passing in the night. 
Amajiki had been exhausted at work. He was out of it, barely able to hold it together as he walked down the street. So now here he was, walking into his apartment earlier than usual because someone had noticed just how tired he was. He practically fell into bed after tugging his shirt over his head and changing into his pajama pants. He had every intention of going to sleep right then and there. 
But then he rolled over. He caught the scent of you on your pillow, the smell of your shampoo tingling his nose. You, his wonderful partner, the one he hadn’t even seen in a week. Even the scent of you brought so many sensations to his body and mind, and his arousal twitched to life. Tamaki tried to ignore it. He tried to just roll back over and go to sleep. But now, you were heavy on his mind, and he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your scent. Your touch. Your kiss. You flooded every corner of his mind, and he couldn’t help but grind against nothing but his pajama pants. 
He gave in to his own needs, and he picked up his phone to find something to watch. Just something to take the edge off, just something to help him feel better until you could get your hands on each other. That would be enough.
Amajiki started to stroke himself. Up and down, faster and faster as he continued on and on. His breathing got heavier, and he could feel himself on the verge of falling over the edge into sweet orgasm. But he just couldn’t. There was something missing. 
And then it walked through the door. 
The bedroom door opened, and Tamaki started to panic. What were you doing home this early? You weren’t usually home for several hours. He had such an urge to escape this situation, somehow. But there was no escape. There was no way out. He just sat there, face glowing bright red and stammering, “Um–, uhh–” over and over. 
In your view, you saw him sitting up against the headboard, looking up at you with warm cheeks, his dick hard in one hand and his phone in the other. You just sighed and smirked, your own cheeks warm now, too. He was so cute, so handsome, the way he looked up at you so innocently. You couldn’t help yourself now. You sat down in your spot on the bed. “Shh,” you hushed, brushing a hair out of his face. “It’s okay, baby,” you whispered, pulling Tamaki onto your lap. You looked up at him, stripped and twitching with excitement. You grabbed his thighs, kneading the muscled flesh that was there. With one hand, you traced gentle lines along his thighs. With the other, you held his face. You began to gently kiss all over Amajiki’s face, over his neck and his chest. “You’re so good, sweet boy,” you cooed. He whimpered a little, both at the nickname and at your touch. “I know, baby,” you said between kisses. “I know you’re so frustrated. Why don’t I help you out, hm?” 
He nodded frantically. “Yes please.”
You smiled up at him. “That’s my good boy,” you said, kissing his lips gently, but still deeply. The kiss lingered, as it lit up your body for both of you. He was desperate for your touch, and Amajiki was squirming on your lap, subconsciously trying to entice you to touch him sooner. You laughed quietly into the kiss, and you wrapped your hand around his length, now throbbing with desire, his arousal leaking from the tip of his cock. 
You could feel yourself twitching, too, wanting desperately for him to feel good for you.
You stroked once. “Good, baby,” you cooed up at him. “You’re doing such a good job for me.” You stroked again, and then a third time, and he whined above you as his cum dribbled from his cock and over your fingers. Amajiki whined loudly, and he squirmed as he made his pleasure known. “Oh, honey,” you whispered. “You were so pent up, huh? You needed that, didn’t you?”
Amajiki nodded again. “Mhm,” he hummed, still squirming and breathing heavily. You saw the blush creep from his cheeks to his ears. He didn’t want it to be over so soon, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to keep going, especially with how sensitive your touch always made him. 
You continued to stroke him, Tamaki’s cum dribbling from your fingers. He moaned and whimpered, so much more sensitive now than when he started. “Do you think you can cum again, Tama?” you asked, your free hand caressing his face. 
Tamaki nodded furiously, and you smirked to yourself. You started to stroke again, more gently this time, and he whimpered above you. You were so fascinated by him, unable to take your eyes off of his face. Suneater, the fierce hero, falling apart for you at every turn. You were fascinated by him, by all the sweet noises he made as you stroked time and time again. 
It was so much. He was so sensitive, and the feeling of your hand around him was so intense. And somehow he just needed more, more, more than he thought he could handle. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly, his grip fervent, but wavering as Tamaki’s pleasure washed over his body. He leaned forward and kissed you, and you could feel his breath heavy on your face. 
When he pulled away, you saw the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. And now Amajiki was embarrassed for an entirely different reason. You were pressed up against him, kissing him so sweetly, making him feel so good, and here he was crying? He wanted to scold his own body for betraying him like this. But it was just so much. He couldn’t describe it any other way. He just felt everything in every corner of his body, and he loved it, but it was just way too much. 
“Hey,” you cooed up at him, stopping your stroking for a minute and stroking his hair. “Do you need me to stop?”
“No!” he answered, just as frantically as he had been before. “No, please. Please touch me more!” His hips squirmed on your lap, and you quickly recognized that he was trying to thrust in your hand. 
You smiled again. “Okay, honey,” you said with your smile plastered across your face. You started to stroke again, and Amajiki sighed at your pleasure. He quickly wiped the tears from his face. 
“Please,” you heard him whisper, “please, please, please.”
“You’re doing so good, baby,” you cooed at him. “Your cock feels so good in my hand. You’re making such pretty noises for me.” You caressed his thighs and hips, and he rested his forehead against yours. Truthfully, he meant to lean in and kiss you, but everything was so intense in that moment that his mind went blank. “I want you to cum for me, baby,” you pleaded. “I want you to feel so good for me. You’re such a good boy for me.”
And just like that, his cock was leaking around your hand again, his white semen covering your fingertips as Tamaki whined and whimpered and squirmed. “Good job, baby,” you whispered, mere centimeters from his face. It was then that his lips finally crashed into yours. 
As Tamaki came down from his orgasm, you leaned to find his shirt discarded on the floor next to the bed. You wiped his cum off of your hand, and you pulled the blanket up over his shoulders. “I miss you,” he confessed, his head now resting on your shoulder. Your fingers ghosted over the skin on his back, and his chest rose and fell heavily. “What are you doing at home?” he said, not picking his head up. 
“I got out of work early,” you said. “I wanted to surprise you.” You wrapped your arms around his waist and locked your fingers behind his back. 
“Mm,” he hummed, nodding his head. His body became heavy on top of yours. “‘M tired,” he confessed. 
You sighed a laugh, and you said, “I can tell.” You kissed his shoulder, then up his neck, and then his cheek. “Why don’t we take a nap?” you suggested. 
Tamaki sighed and nodded, and he allowed himself to fall off your lap and onto his side of the bed. 
You fell asleep with your arms wrapped around his waist, holding him as closely as you possibly could.
It was the best sleep Tamaki had gotten all week.
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This work was written by Abigail "Billie" Rothenberger. Please do not copy this work on Tumblr or any other platform.
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passionguavagreentea · 11 months
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The Glamorization of Hustle Culture
This will be a ramble-filled, multi-blog-post series revolving around hustle culture and its bizarre glamorization.
The 'Negative' Impact on Health
It's no secret that not taking breaks to rest your mind and body is terrible for you. There is science behind this, bringing back this study that found that working over 50 hours a week will result in decreases in productivity. We already know why, right? Because we need rest. We need to recover. We need to take care of our body and to pause, sleep, and eat. If someone is working 75 hours a week, chances are they are absolutely exhausted, their mind and body are also paying for it. Those who are working this many hours a week, are probably experiencing the feeling of being 'burnt out'.  If you don't know what being burnt out means, it's summarized as feeling completely exhausted and losing the overall caring and sense of giving a shit. I've experienced this, and I'm sure whoever is reading has too. For me, the burnout came with a gnarly cycle of getting sick (the classic weakened immune system) which resulted in me unable to care for the kids that I nannied at the time. This eventually threw me in a dark hole of feeling guilty, but at the same time not realizing that it wasn't my fault. We are all sensitive beings with certain limits, sometimes it takes being burnt out to realize that.
Other impacts hustle culture has on our health are mentioned in this article from UW Medicine, which consists of high blood pressure, overconsumption of alcohol, issues with your heart, and more. This research discusses information behind long working hours and cardiovascular disease, as well as tons of other health impacts working long hours can cause. So, if there is even a slight amount of evidence proving that working too many hours is causing diseases and even death in Japan, why aren't we doing anything? Why are people still participating in hustle culture if they know it's terrible for your body and overall well-being? I know what you’re thinking – because people need money – this is the only reason I can see being argued. Why would anyone want to hustle just for fun? If you do, please give me your reasons. I am simply a human with a curious and opinionated (clearly) mind.
Overall, I don't see there being any positive impacts on your health from hustle culture. All it does is eat away your mind and body unless you are conscious of how you are participating in hustle culture. Ways that I can think of include knowing your limits and taking consistent long breaks from whatever work you're doing. Educating yourself on the potential risks of working long hours and making sure you are taking care of your health. This includes making trips to the doctor for checkups to check on your heart, blood pressure, mental well-being, and more. When you have days off of work, actually take those days off and do nothing. I understand how this is hard for people, it took me a long time to understand that you can do nothing without feeling guilty about it. We aren't made for being on the go 24/7, but with the way hustle culture is glamorized, it sure does a good job at making it seem like we are.
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skztea · 2 years
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ What SKZ members value most in a partner? -> req by lovely anon!
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✦ bang chan ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> companionship
• i feel like companionship is extremely important for chan, which is something that his partner would have. Being away from his family for 3 years+ is tough, despite all the smiles and giggles he plastered on his face. There will definitelt be times when he felt disappointed, hopeless, empty, exhausted as most of the things are piling on him. He is the parental figure of the group, where he has to carry multiple responsibilities at once while being alone in korea without next of kins around.
• As his partner, she understood all his circumstances and she makes sure she will provide the most companionship for him as possible. Not necessarily be beside him 24/7, which is highly impossible since he is living in the dorm but she will consistently check up on him, making sure he is eating his meals, getting enough sleep, lending her listening ear whenever needed etc to make him feel engulfed safely in her arms. There isn’t anyone whom he can really confide in as his members are heavily tied with career and his family are miles away, the only person he can resort to is his partner. Being unconditionally by his side gives him lots of securities, at least he won’t feel afraid if he falls, because he knows someone else is there to catch him. Of course, he would also reciprocate a good amount of time with his partner as well which makes it a 2-way healing relationship.
“Im so grateful to have you by my side, unconditionally accompanying me and providing the most comfort when i am at my worst,” he breathed into the phone as he stared at the ceiling, smiling at the image of you floating in his brain.
“Hey, isn’t what lovers are for? Of course im always here for you,” you chuckled softly at the other end, causing the latter cheek’s flushing as he placed his palm over his palpitating heart, also chuckling at how you managed to make his heart race even after years.
“You are very clear of my soft spots for you.”
✦ minho ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> trust
• scorpio men…the first thing that pops in my mind is -> spiky. I mean i can see my dad’s shadow on minho 🤧 because both of them are scorpios and both are really spiky and sarcastic on the exterior and they hates, injustice. So i guess i can assume that minho really hates hinderance/betrayal from people he is close to, especially his partner. I would see him valuing trust and transperancy very much as he dislikes people who doubt him without a valid reason. To me i feel that trust is like one of the most fundamental yet crucial values that a relationship should possess.
• he would value trust alot from his partner because he feels honoured when she believes in him. It’s not that she put all the eggs in one basket but she felt that if she has chosen someone as her partner/lover, she would want to have faith in him, in whatever things he does, in the feelings he has for her and how he will juggle his career and relationship. Some partners would overthink if their companion will seek other relationships when they are not physically together to kill temporary boredom but as his partner, it isn’t even the case. The more she overthinks, the more it will happen. So might as well she just gives him the trust, letting him do his runway. Trust doesn’t need to be expressed frequently but by the tone and attitude, minho will understand that his partner is trusting him ultimately in every aspects he does -> which makes him trust her in the same way she did.
“Why do you trust me so much? Are you not worried if i will go back against the will one day?” Your lover gently carassed your arms as he backhugged you, face nudging into the crook of your neck as he teased.
“Why would i be scared? I trust you because i trust my decision of choosing you, as well as knowing your personality for years,” you speaked in no doubt, making the latter giggled softly as he hugged you tighter.
“Damn, you always know how to make me fall for you all over again.”
✦ changbin ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> commitment
• i can see that changbin values loyalty and commitment alot, like alot. He always emits that sense of brotherhood among the members and i believe that it applies in relationship too. Once he is committed, he will really put his partner at the tip of his heart and if ever the partner betrays him, wow, he will be a volcano that erupts explosively (may even hunt you down and teach you a lesson before letting you go). Like he will think that if the partner don’t wanna commit to the relationship why even get into it at the first place? Solve yourself before finding someone to solve it for you.
• highly appreciative of how committed his partner is. Doesn’t need to be all times on the line or text, but knowing how to make her presence when needed makes him elated. Things like visiting him in his dorm, buying him food at times, accompanying him physically or virtually, supporting him before his stages etc. Most importantly, knowing how to draw a decent line with other opposite genders. He will be extremely touched to see his partner appearing in almost all the events, sitting one side quietly and delicately taking beautiful pictures of him and sharing with him later. There isn’t a need to say much, but just enjoying each other’s presence no matter when and where is what makes him loyal to his partner too. Both knowing that they can’t meet all the time but still doing well on their life makes them cherish each other more and fall into each other’s arms when they need it makes the relationship priceless.
“I didn’t expect you to come!” Changbin almost crashed into your arms as you went to the dressing room to visit him.
“Of course i have to! It’s been so long since you had a physical fansign event and i just want to visit and congradulate you bub,” you reciprocated the hug as he giggled foolishly.
“You are the best babe, always appearing when i think of you.”
✦ hyunjin ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> empathy
• well it’s well known that hyunjin is attracted to someone who has lots of empathy and is able to put herself into his shoes while he shares his worries. I think this is an absolute value that everyone should have instead of being self-centred. Furthermore, Hyunjin is someone who is extremely sensitive and fragile on the inner, he needs a partner that is able to understand him and his concerns that are never shared with others before. He may like someone who knows how to be grateful for life and her surroundings, being a living reminder for him that humanity still exist.
• he values this because firstly it’s hard for him to open up his heart, spilling his truthful thoughts to someone with the fear of hurting anyone close to him. There are countless times when he wished he was braver to speak to other members, but the hurted face makes him gulp down all the words. Also afraid to bother his parents, the only person he can be vulnerable with is his partner. And that is why empathy is very important. Being an idol is easily complimented or bashed, in just a couple of clicks or punches of the keyboard warriors. His partner have to be someone who is able to stand in his perspective and understand his situation, lending a solid pillar for him to rely on. If his partner isn’t able to create that safe space for hin then he will only be drowning instead of redempting himself. However, getting him to speak up for the first time is as tough as hard rock stone, but once he feels secured to spill he will not be able to stop, because he already places all the bet on her.
“Talking to you always makes me feel so much better, you are a cure to my heart,” planting a soft kiss on your forehead, he rubbed slow circles on your cheeks as his face is inches away from yours.
“Hey, don’t always bottle up things in yourself, telling someone is better than suffocating on your own,” wiping his strand of tears away, you adored by looking at his redden eyes, still holding that youth of innocence in his eyes.
“I love you,” he breathed before leaning in to meet your lips with his.
✦ jisung ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> accountability
• jisung…hmm being someone who is kinda ‘problematic’ in a sense where he becomes slightly destructive during arguments or conflicts, he will have nothing to say but salute his partner for being extremely accountable. We all know that every member said jisung has issues with each of them and how other members tend to approach him first, i feel that he will take a longer time to cool down as his partner. Nothing wrong for sure, everybody has their own ways of resolving conflicts. But for jisung i feel that he will look up to his partner who is accountable for her own actions as he may not have the courage to do so at times.
• Initiating a chill conversation after a fight or apologising first during a fight doesn’t mean that one lost. It is more about how she cared for his wellbeing, worried that he will be too affected by the conflict that impacted his work. If she is in the wrong, she definitely will own it up and apologise. Even if she don’t, but she will make sure that both of them have come to a consensus before life moves on. Instead of starting a cold war or carelessly saying break ups all the time, his partner will make sure he sees her perspective as well and piecing things up again, which is something that jisung may not have it. His partner will be someone that allows jisung to grow, learning to how to better resolve conflicts with others. A handful of partners will tend to accomodate or avoid conflict but his partner won’t. It is important to let him see the impact of his and her actions and how both of them can work hand in hand to understand and cherish each other after every fights, and that’s what make jisung enlightened as a human, son, friend, colleague and lover.
“You know, i always feel so bad that you have to be the first one to step up to talk to me even though it’s my fault, but you don’t blame me for it,” the latter teared as he hid his face within his palms, shameful to look at you.
“Hun, it doesn’t matter who stepped up first but what’s important is that, we learnt each time we argue, we cherish each time we fight…there are no perfect relationships and all we need is, consensus,” ruffling his head, he embraced you into his arms as he whispered multiple “im sorrys” into your ear.
✦ felix ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> vulnerability
• vulnerability is one of the most essential values as well. If you are not vulnerable to your partner, then to who else? A partner is there to support and love you when you are down and vice versa. Felix being someone who is sentimental would greatly adore his partner being all vulnerable infront of him, so that he feels the responsibility to keep you happy or happier each day you date him. Felix is the kind that really hold his partner tight and close to his heart, almost spending all his free time texting or talking to her to make sure she is doing fine.
• since he is someone who cares very much about people he loves, he would want to he a solid support pillar for his partner. He will take his time to get to know her, learning about her successes and struggles before meeting him, especially if she has any past traumatic relationship so he knows what to do to avoid hurting you. Being vulnerable will pull each other alot closer and interwining the hearts, which is something that felix finds it romantic about. He probably imagined endless times how his partner would lean on his chest and sharing worries or insecurities, and he would reassure her until she believes in him and light again. It also made him feel honoured that his partner trusts him fully and hoping he will make a good presence in her life, be the one that pulls her out of the muddy water that she choked in for long.
“Lix, you know i really hate burdening people with my own issues, but you seem like the one who enjoy hearing them the most,” fiddling his fingers, you looked at that latter who has glowy eyes staring at you for the past 15 mins.
“Babe, we are couples for a reason, i want to be someone you can fall back on and someone that helps you to be successful,” gently caressing your strands of hair as his eyes gazed across your features.
“You can always rely on me,” planting a soft kiss on your forehead, he teased you with another eskimo kiss that made the both of you giggle.
✦ seungmin ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> communication
• seungmin just gives me that vibe of being a good communicator. Like even though he looks like an introvert introvert (like all quiet and such) but i feel he is someone who is very patient when comes to conversing with his loved ones. The need of expressing how you feel about things is so crucial but deadly as people tends to derive it in another manner. If there is no communication in the world then people will never understand and support each other, not even mentioning giving and receiving love. Communicating doesn’t always have to be talking about serious issues, but casual conversations are good enough to have a gauge on how other party is coping.
• he would appreciate that from his partner because he feels that it is rare for people to be straightforward and honest with their opinions these days. People just tend to put on a facade or fake a smile to brush off things that things they don’t agree with or hurted them instead of truthfully expressing that those comments actually make them upset. As his partner it is important for her to let him know that what are the things they can work on rather than bottling up inside and ending by exploding all at once. Communication is about understanding and empathising with one another and if everyone avoids that, then what is the point for getting together? He really appreciates how his partner will get him to sit down, focusing on her as she depicts her thoughts. A relationship is like a ping pong, where both parties need to learn to reciprocate, communicate, understand each other.
“Im not good at mentioning things at times but you complemented me so well,” walking down along the paveway, both of you are licking the ice cream on each hands and throwing loving glares at each other.
“Of course, i know what is running in your mind,” winking playfully at the taller figure and lightly shaking his bigger palms.
“We fit each other like yin yang,” patting the top of your head gently, he retrieved your hand back in his.
✦ jeongin ੈ✩‧₊˚
-> respect
• lastly, i feel that jeongin values respect alot. Being an aquarius men, they usually prefer independence more, be it themselves or their partners. The respect given to each other, knowing that each other needs that private space as well is vital, making it a bonus that his partner possesses. For sure, he dislikes people who are clingy and mushy, prefably someone who is more rational and knowing how to limit her contact with him. Furthermore, he would love someone who respects his opinion and such instead of brushing them off. Validating one even if you don’t agree still shows you care for the person and hope to find a consensus.
• Independence that i mentioned before is not supposed to be inclining towards the negative aspect of it. Well, most people tend to perceive relationships as: couples relying on each other. However, we need to learn that life still goes on and every individual needs to take care of their own before they support others. If both were to constantly dependent on each other, both will burnout. His partner will remember this theory by heart and knowing that she needs to play her own part, including him. Everyone has their own boundaries and the simplest way is to respect each other instead of making yourself more superior. Jeongin will greatly appreciate how his partner will acknowledge his words even if she don’t exactly understand, but giving him the space to do the things he need. She will not always expect jeongin to give in to her, but more like both getting to know each other’s pov and become closer and stronger.
“I was afraid to get into a relationship because im worried if im not able to commit as much, my partner will be upset, but being with you erases all my worries away because you understood my concern and respected me,” your boyfriend who never backhugged you before broke his record.
“Jeongin…i get what you are worried about, because i priortises your happiness and comfortness over anything…like what you have done to me too,” grabbing onto his hands lightly, you assured him as he sniffed at your shampoo scent that lingers along your hair.
“Thank you for respecting everything i did, you are like my soulmate understanding all my needs even without me saying it.”
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-> oh my goodness i finally finished this after doing 4 drafts. Not even kidding, 4 drafts. I was concerned with my work so i kept scraping off but this is it already i’ve tried my best ✋🏻🥲 | come join my 200 followers event here!
m.list I | a.bout
© skztea — all rights reserved. No plagarising, editing, claiming as own without permission.
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mieohmy · 3 years
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𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗋 | 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈
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PAIRING: CEO boss! jeon wonwoo x secretary! reader 
GENRE: fluff, angst, humor, office au
WC: 5k (whoops got carried away- i mean its wonwoo)
NOTES: mentions of death, depression 
SUMMARY: you loved being a secretary, the work and stress included. but your ‘stone cold’ boss was really testing your limits in more ways than one. alternatively, who knew mighty CEO jeon wonwoo was such a softie?
update: part two can be found here !
update 2: final part → here 
“Yes, sir. Also, the opening ceremony is today at 7pm. Would you like me to set up your chauffeur?” The man nods. “Yes, make sure to finish the layout for tomorrow. And the catalog by Thursday. That’s all, you’re dismissed.” You bow politely before turning and exiting his office. 
You take two steps forward before displaying a scowl and muttering, “never get a break. not even a thank you. just wait, jeon wonwoo, one day i-“ “Y/n!” A voice snaps you out of your trance, spotting Seungkwan walking your way. 
Greeting him, you ask, “What’s up?” “We’re getting food tonight. Team dinner at 7. Can you make it?” he says. You sigh before replying apologetically, “Sorry.... boss wants me to finish something up for tomorrow.” 
Seungkwan taps his feet in disapproval. “The CEO is still giving you more work? When will that man ever let you have a break?” You grit your teeth, attempting to smile. Seungkwan stares at the CEO's office. 
“Y/n, you work the hardest out of all of us, and you have to deal with him every day. If there’s anyone who deserves a rest, it’s you. Our team’s planning on going to the beach on the weekend since we have Friday off. You should join us. It’ll be really fun!“
Contemplating for a moment, you’re about to accept before you suddenly remember what Friday is, eyes widening. Turning to Seungkwan, you smile sadly. “I really-like you don’t even know-really want to go, but I have something really important on Friday. I’m so sorry.” He nods, reassuring you it’s fine. “Well, you can join us on Saturday then!” 
You bow, biting your lip as you continue on. You totally forgot what day Friday was. 
The rest of your shift was rough. Wonwoo, AKA your horrible boss, didn’t seem to want to give you a break. The past few weeks had been very tightly packed with the upcoming debut, and although you understood it was very important, sometimes it felt like your boss didn’t know you were human too. 
Waking up at 5 am, driving to his place and setting up, and then getting to work was exhausting. Not to mention the late nights working on assignments. It all came with being a secretary, but recently, you didn’t know if you could keep going. Maybe it had something to do with your boss’s attitude as well. 
Jeon Wonwoo, CEO of one of the largest writing and printing companies. Exactly how you expect. Handsome, cold, quiet. You’re pretty sure he’s rejected more than a hundred women who attempted to ask him out. What did he even do for fun? Lame word searches?
When you first started working as his secretary, you had at least one breakdown a day. Everything you did was wrong, Wonwoo’s ‘redo it again’, echoing in your mind. He never cared about your feelings, just your work. You needed the job to help your family since it had good pay, and your siblings were focused on school. So it was up to you to provide for your family that you weren’t even close with.
You and your coworkers loved to complain about wonwoo’s cold attitude and the workload he gave out. Sure he was handsome, but it didn’t matter to you since his attitude was such a shutdown. You blamed him for not having a social life or a boyfriend, but of course, he didn’t care. 
That just made you want to work even harder. You stayed up countless nights practicing, studying to be perfect. Until Wonwoo tolerated you. Everyone knew you as Jeon Wonwoo’s longest secretary. It wasn’t easy work, but it made you feel proud, and you were able to push through working for him. 
At least before recently. Wonwoo was extremely busy with the preparations, and so were you. You understood, he was stressed, but was taking it out on you okay? You really contemplated quitting, but this time of the year was extremely important, so you would have to wait until after the new debut passed. I mean, you were kind enough to start the resignation after finishing the event, unlike another person you knew.
Wonwoo calls you into his office late that night, the floor almost empty. You walk in, carrying the same tea you always brought at the now perfected temperature. Setting it down, you bow before asking, “you called for me, Mr. Jeon?” You can tell he’s frustrated by his ruffled hair and wrinkled collar. Your fingers itch, wanting to fix it. 
“Finish the chart for tomorrow. I want you to adjust my schedule since father’s coming by. Cancel everything before 10.” You tense, feeling the frustration course through you. “But sir, I already got all the-“ “I don’t care, change it. You can go now.” You tightly bow and leave, fuming in anger. 
You’re not surprised you only got three hours of sleep. It was a regular thing these days. Groaning, you get ready as usual like every day, the schedule drilled into your brain. You grab a shirt, frowning as you remember the one time Mr. Jeon called your fashion taste revolting and ordered you to a complete wardrobe change. 
It was finally Friday, the day you were anticipating the whole week. Also the one day you got off from work early and seeing Mr. Jeon’s face. You couldn’t wait until 5 when you were done and could prepare for later. The whole week was awful, you’re pretty sure you looked like a raccoon with the amount of sleep you got. 
You’re typing furiously at your desk when Seokmin comes by. His footsteps alert you. “Oh, hey Seokmin. What’s up?” He grins. “Did Seungkwan tell you about what we’re doing later today?” You attempt to smile. “Yeah, I’m sorry I can’t make it. I’m busy later. Can’t wait to get off.” He claps, rubbing his hands together. “It’s alright. Don’t work too hard.” 
You smile, winking. “Don’t worry. And try not to have too much fun without me!” The buzzing on your desk interrupts you, causing you to groan. “What does he want now?”
Walking in, you find Wonwoo signing documents. He doesn’t even look up as he says, “I need you to complete the finalizing documents right now.” You pause, processing the information. “Wait, but those will take me at least four hours. My shift ends in one.” 
He finally looks up, face devoid of any emotion. “Well, that’s your job. You’re expected to do it.” You feel your heart speed up, tightening your hands into fists. You respond shakily, “I’m sorry sir, but there’s something really important I have to do tonight. I can get Mr. Lee to finish it. Can’t you let me go this once?” 
“But why? You’re supposed to do what I ask?” His voice sounds annoyed, bored even. You scoff, feeling your eyes burn. “Those last couple of weeks I’ve been doing everything you asked, even more. Don’t you think I deserve a break?” 
“You signed up to be my secretary. What kind of breaks do you expect? Things are very tense with the new debut now, so don’t expect me to take pity and let you go just because you did what I said,” Wonwoo retorts.
That was it.
You hated yourself. You hated yourself for snapping. But at the same time, you didn’t. 
You slam your papers on the table, shaking. “I work basically 24/7, every day, running errands for you and doing everything you tell me.” Your voice cracks, and you feel hot tears run down your face. 
“And you don’t even have the respect to treat me like a human being? I wake up immediately thinking about what you’re going to make me do for the rest of the day.” A sob escapes you. 
Wiping your tears angrily, you continue to stare at him with wide, furious eyes. “I go to sleep thinking about what I have to do for you the next day. But you don’t even thank me. Not once. No appreciation when I try to impress you and go above and beyond. And then you won’t even let me have one break? I don’t even get vacations or holidays off!”
You sniffle, body shaking, as you let the words sink in. “I signed up to be a secretary, not disrespected.” And with that, you walk out with tears pouring down your face, grabbing as much of your stuff as you can and leaving, ignoring the shocked whispers and startled questions.  
Once you get home, you slap yourself. What did you just do? What did you just say to your boss? Oh god, ex-boss now. You’re dead. Officially. You feel numb like you just watched a confusing movie and were trying to process everything. 
You want to bury yourself in the ground. Or become a rock. That’d be way nicer than being yourself right now. 
But you have to continue on. You don’t even care if you’re going out wearing sweats and a hoodie. He wouldn’t care. After buying everything, you drive to the spot. You pass blurs, barely paying attention as you blankly stare at the road. 
Once you get out, you feel the drops, glancing up. You didn’t realize it was raining while you were driving. You let the water pour over you, making your way to the familiar stone.
Stopping in front, you sink to your knees. 
“Dad...I’m so sorry I’m late. Can you believe I basically threw a tantrum in front of my boss? Well, ex-boss?” Laughing weakly, you wipe the tears you didn’t notice had run down your face. “I don’t have a job anymore, that’s for sure.” 
You look around, your whole body soaked now. Softly, you arrange the flowers neatly in front of his grave. “Are you still proud of me dad?” You smile weakly, adjusting yourself comfortably on the cold wet ground. “I’m so sorry... happy anniversary, still. Another year passed. How are you?” 
You spend days at home, never leaving your bed, only allowing yourself to mope about your life. Your phone is spammed with texts and calls. Probably from coworkers, you figured. You didn’t have enough energy to respond. 
You sighed for the millionth time. Everyone had probably heard about your childish rant in wonwoo's office. How could you let yourself break like that? No one had contacted you and deemed you officially fired, but you knew it the moment you opened your mouth. Maybe finally going outside and getting snacks would cheer you up. 
Cringing, you saw yourself in the mirror. Just like someone who got broken up with by their partner. I mean, it’s not like you had a job anymore or anyone to impress, so you just shrugged and went out for the first in a while.
Entering the store, you walk down an aisle, glancing at the options. You’re squatting, choosing between banana or strawberry when you spot movement in the corner of your vision. It’s just a man looking at the ice cream, but it’s what he’s wearing that catches your attention. 
You raise an eyebrow. Who goes to a mart in a full suit and tie like that? Scoffing internally, you bite the inside of your cheek. Ha, he looks like- The man suddenly turns, and you can never mistake that face. 
BEKDJRE WHAT IS MR. JEON DOING HERE?? You whip your head back, hoping, praying, that he doesn’t recognize you in your horrible clothes. Your heart pounding loudly, you stand up, deciding just to get the heck out of there before-
Oh ****. Why does he have to stand right next to you? 
You internally freak out, don’t make eye contact I swear to god y/n if you do you’ll- 
“What do you recommend? Melon or banana?” You recognize his deep voice and freeze. Is he talking to you? Maybe he doesn’t know who you are??
Facing away from him, you respond in a croaky, low voice. “U-uh banana?” You catch him nodding in the corner of your eye. 
Time to escape. You turn, briskly walking away until a hand abruptly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. Panicking, you don’t move, not wanting to expose your identity. What does this man want??
The hand on your wrist doesn’t loosen, instead, it tightens and spins you around until you’re face to face with him. Your now-former boss, Jeon Wonwoo. 
Surprisingly, he doesn’t have an angry look on his face. Instead, he simply says, “Y/n, I know it’s you. It seemed like you when you walked in. And the fact that you chose banana instead of melon for me because you know I hate melon confirms it.” 
You open your mouth before lamely responding, “Could’ve been a lucky guess?” 
 You would’ve never expected yourself to be outside a grocery mart at 1 am with jeon wonwoo.
Awkwardly shuffling on your feet, you watched as wonwoo paid for your treats. He insisted on it for some reason, and you knew you couldn’t beat him when he looked at you with that face. Chills ran down your spine whenever you thought about it.
When he finishes, you walk side by side out the door, a silence between the two of you. You wait a couple seconds before you can’t take it anymore. 
You quickly fall to your knees in front of him, head down as you plead, “Please forgive me, Mr. Jeon. I-I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just extremely stressed- I completely understand if you never want to see my face again, although I’m not sure why you confronted me today and bought stuff for me but it doesn’t matter anymore- It was completely rude of me, and I just hope you’ll accept my apology.” Finishing your ramble, you keep your head bowed and eyes squeezed shut as you await his response. 
You almost don’t notice it, it was so gentle. Wonwoo’s hand slowly reaches forward and tilts your chin up, and you don’t realize your heart speeding up. He squats in front of you, his face seems surprisingly amused. 
You would’ve never expected the words that came out of his mouth next, either.
“I’m sorry, y/n. I realized the workload I put on you, and it wasn’t wrong of you to burst out on me. I’m afraid I’m not good with words, but after you disappeared, I realized how much you do for the office. Truly, I appreciate your hard work. Hopefully, you can come back to work once you feel fit.” 
You stare at him, processing the words that the CEO of one of the biggest printing companies just said. 
You stay still, eyes still boring into his until you’re finally able to break out of it. You abruptly stand up, dusting yourself off. You breathe a sigh of relief, muttering, “thank you for not firing me.” You clap your hand over your mouth, surprised eyes moving to look at wonwoo. 
You watch as wonwoo’s lips slowly turn up, letting out a quiet chuckle. You blink. Did he just laugh? Like fr? Oh my god, you have to tell Seungkwan. His voice interrupts you. “I should drive you back to your place, it’s getting late.” 
Your eyes widen in shock. Shaking your head, you reply, “oh no, it’s fine. I’ll walk home. It’s not far.” He insists, and of course, you aren’t able to say no. 
It’s an awkward drive as you direct your boss to your apartment. Once you arrive, you quickly thank him, and he smiles. What the-
“Well, I hope to see you soon at work, secretary y/n.”
You can only nod, dumbfounded. You had never seen him smile before, and it was kinda nice.
You numbly wave goodbye as he drives off, entering your apartment and crashing into bed. 
After two days, you’re back in action. The second the elevator doors open, a swarm of people rushed up to you. You stand there as people begin talking, asking questions. You feel like a celebrity being interviewed by paparazzi.
You take a step forward, pushing past everyone. It didn’t feel right to have to answer their questions. You settle at your office, politely asking people to stop asking. Eventually, the crowd leaves.
You’re unpacking the stuff you took home in a blaze of anger when you hear footsteps approach. Sighing, you turn around. “I’m sorry, I don’t- ..Dokyeom?” 
“Y/n!!! What the frick happened? All we know is that you stormed out of the building and didn’t come back for a week!! And with our project, things were going crazy without you...”
Grimacing, you say, “I know, I know, I’m sorry.  It’s stupid, but I’m back for real now. Promise.  I’ll explain it all later, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” 
Dokyeom sighs, giving you one last ‘you better not forget’ before leaving you. 
It takes hours, but you’re finally able to get wonwoo’s schedule up to date. You check the time. Shoot. Wonwoo usually expects tea at this time.
You quickly run over to the drink station, hoping no one comes up to you. You glance around, mostly everyone’s focused on their work and staring at their computer screens. 
You’re pouring the hot water when a familiar voice calls your name. Turning, Wonwoo comes into view. You immediately jump, causing the hot water to splash onto your hand. 
Letting out a hiss of pain, you drop the cup. The sound alerts the workers in the room, most beginning to notice your presence. 
Wonwoo quickly walks over to you, gently taking your hands in his. “Are you alright?” You gape at him, and you’re pretty sure everyone else in the room is dumbfounded too. Whispers immediately break out. 
You snatch your hands from him and quickly bow. “I’m fine, thank you, sir.” Forgotten tea, you dash to the bathroom. Huffing, you place your hands on the sink.
What happened to your boss and why do you kinda like it? The feeling of his warm hands over yours causes you to shiver. You punch the sink, grumbling. 
“Ughh seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?  I yell at him and suddenly he becomes this nice guy? And then in front of everyone too?”
It doesn’t stop after that. For days, jeon wonwoo would somehow make his way to you and act all nice. Sometimes in front of others, and sometimes when it’s just you two in his office. You would always feel hot and nervous afterward randomly. 
It began spreading around the office. What happened to CEO Jeon and why did he become so nice to you? You heard some of the rumors, ‘probably slept together’ ‘did they find out some juicy secret about him? ..’
It was annoying, but you tried to ignore it. You were able to explain everything to doykeom and seungkwan. They were the only ones who knew about the late-night grocery mart trip and wonwoo’s sudden kindness. 
You wanted to confront him, really. And you tried, but he would just say it was because you were his secretary that worked so hard for so long. 
You wanted it to stop. You wanted it to stop cause you liked this side of him, and you didn’t want to admit it.
It all changed one day when you received a text at work. From a number that you didn’t recognize. At first. 
After reading it, you immediately shot up from your desk. Wonwoo came from his office, walking over to you, but you hurriedly made an excuse and ran out, leaving him surprised. 
Groaning, you noticed the rain. Perfect timing... You braced yourself and ran through the pouring rain. You had to get there, no matter what. You were soaked, gasping for air, once you reached the stone. 
They left. You stood there, staring down at it. 
It was just you and the rain.
Until it wasn’t, anymore. You look up. It’s a black... umbrella? Spinning around, you come face to face with a suit. An extremely familiar one.
“M-mr. jeon?” He’s holding the umbrella and staring at you, but it feels like he’s looking into your soul. 
You blink, eyes flicking down to the wet ground. It’s silent until he speaks up. “Why did you suddenly come here? Y/n?” 
You slowly turn back to look at the plaque. “This is where my dad is,” you softly say. There’s a pause before wonwoo responds, “I’m so sorry.” 
You laugh, shaking your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. This is why I blew up last Friday. I was supposed to be here that day.” You feel wonwoo tense next to you. 
Before he can say anything, you face him. “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior. But.. why did you follow me?” He fumbles a bit before replying, “it was raining.. it wouldn’t be safe for you to go alone.” 
You laugh, a pleasant sound ringing in wonwoo’s ears before saying, “thank you. And, I came here because of my family. You might not have known this, but I got this job to help them. After my father died, my mother became depressed and my siblings couldn’t do anything. So I had to get a job to support them.” 
You bitterly smile before continuing, “I’m not even close with them. I was too busy working, and my mother was too busy moping. My siblings are busy with school, and I never see them anymore. It’s gotten to the point where I just pay their bills and don’t even speak to them. Ha, they finally contacted me to say they were gonna visit him today, can you believe it? And I missed them. As usual.” 
Wonwoo looks down at his feet. “I never knew that about you... You’ve been working for me for years, and I didn’t know that.” 
You shift. “What about you?” He turns to you, surprised. “Me?” You nod, “your family?” Wonwoo shuffles closer to you, causing you to unconsciously swallow. 
“Well, I’m not very close with my family either. It was all work, preparing me to take over the business. I mostly grew up alone... and I didn’t really have many close relationships. Uh- well, you can most likely tell. Everyone in the office probably can too.” 
You glance at him. He’s going back into his shell. The one he would always go into when he was stressed, scared, alone. You hesitate. “That’s okay, you don’t have to be close to everyone. It doesn’t hurt to be a little kinder, though. Not to be rude, but a lot of people in the office are.... a bit scared of you? To be honest, we were all a bit shocked when you started caring more. I was surprised. Um- but i-in a good way.” 
Wonwoo stares at you with wide eyes as you focus back on the stone. A comfortable silence fills the air between the two of you. Standing there, hearing the sound of the pouring drops. 
As the rain falls harder, you feel as if you have too.
There’s an understanding, a deeper one between you and wonwoo after that day. You feel like you know him, even if it’s only a little more. 
The CEO suddenly turns into a completely different person. To others, he may still seem like a cold boss, but to you, wonwoo’s an endearing introvert who’s obsessed with cats. 
You were shocked, to say the least when wonwoo comes by your desk and shoves a phone in your face. You flinch before opening your eyes and staring at the screen.  “Mr. Jeon..... why are you showing me a picture of a cat?” 
“It’s cute. Isn’t it?” Laughing, you cover your mouth to hide a smile. “Yes sir, it sure is.” 
He continues to show more of himself, and you find yourself falling deeper. For someone who you never expected.  He has such a cold exterior to people around you, but once it’s just you two, he turns into such a softie. 
Seungkwan confronts you one day. “Y/n, you have to explain. What is happening between you and CEO jeon??” You shake your head in response, but you feel heat creep up your neck. 
“Seungkwannn, I told you already. He just helped me out, and I guess, I understand him a bit better now. He’s not bad, seriously.” 
He lets out a small tch! “A week ago you were complaining about his nasty personality, and now you’re saying he’s not bad?”
You whine, clinging to his side. “Ahh, seriously I said it was nothing. Why won’t you believe me??” Someone clears their throat. 
You and seungkwan turn. It’s wonwoo who else would it be. Immediately, seungkwan bows. “Sir!!” Wonwoo stands there, face passive. “Secretary y/n, come to my office.” 
Seungkwan shoots you a look, leaving you to shrug and follow the CEO.
He offers you a seat, and you sit on the plush couch, waiting.
He shifts in his seat awkwardly, and you raise an eyebrow. “Why did you call me in, Mr. Jeon?” 
He coughs before muttering, “are you close with him? Mr. Boo?” “You mean seungkwan? Oh, he’s my friend, that’s all. Why do you want to know? Are you jealous?” you tease.
But wonwoo only scratches his head. You’re about to apologize for going too far with the joke, but you can’t even respond after what he says. “Well, of course, I am. Cause I’m interested in you.” 
Your mouth drops open. “What did you just say?” He looks at you, a serious expression on his face. “I want to go out with you. Truly.” 
Heart beating faster, you internally panic. He just asked you out? He’s interested in you? What is going on? 
“So? What’s your answer?” You snap out of it, glancing back at your boss, nervously shaking his leg. I mean, you enjoyed his presence. But he was your boss, the supposed cold and scary Jeon Wonwoo.. and also the one who still managed to infiltrate your mind.
“Um, yes. I will go out with you.”
You find out and learn more and more sides to him. They all cause your heart to flutter harder and harder. He’s no longer just your boss, he’s someone you can trust, confide in. 
You begged wonwoo not to tell anyone. All the dates happening in secret. Wonwoo was upset, originally. He wanted to tell people, to show you were his, but you firmly insisted on keeping it quiet. If people in the office found out, you would never hear the end of it. 
You walk into wonwoo’s office one morning, carrying the itinerary for the week. Once he sees you, his eyes light up. He walks over to you, grabbing the file and throwing it on the desk somewhere. 
You stare at him with wide eyes as he strides over to you, wrapping his arms around your body. There’s a second of peace and content, but you interrupt him, tensing and saying, “wonwoo- someone might see us.” 
Even as you continue to shift and glance around to check, he sighs and rests his head on top of yours. “Secretary, can’t you just relax for a second? We’ve been working so much, we need a break.” 
Letting out a huff, you allow yourself to melt into his embrace. “Two more minutes,” you mumble. Wonwoo leans down, so his face is inches from yours, a small grin displayed. You smile back, knowing what he wants. 
You lean in, placing your lips on his. His mouth moves hungrily on yours, causing you to make a small sound of surprise. 
Then there’s suddenly a knock, and you hear the door open. “CEO Jeon?” 
You fly under his desk, squeezing your eyes shut and praying whoever it was didn't see you.
You wait there, attempting to muffle your breathing and keep still. You recognize the voice, it’s Mr. Choi Seungcheol. Vice President of the company. Why did he have to come at the worst time? 
You hear the distinct sounds of their conversation for what seems to be forever before Mr. Choi finally bids him goodbye. Your body slumps in relief, waiting to get out from under his desk until you hear seungcheol suddenly speak again. 
“Also, why is secretary y/l/n under your desk? I see their feet sticking out.” You silently curse yourself. Slowly and very ungracefully, you maneuver your way from under the desk. Standing up, you quickly smooth your clothes and hair. “Oh, ha, Mr. Choi. I had no idea you here. Um- well, you see...” 
You quickly look at Wonwoo and back to Mr. Choi. Stammering, you finally say, “Mr. Jeon thought he saw a coach roach and called me in. Must’ve just imagined it.” You nervously laugh as wonwoo sheepishly nods in agreement. 
Finally, he leaves the two of you, and you sit on the couch, biting your lip as you examine wonwoo’s expression. 
“Was the coach roach your best excuse?”
You cringe. “I’m sorry-! I couldn’t think of anything else. Do you think he saw?” 
Wonwoo shrugs, sitting next to you. “Is it so bad for him to see?” he speaks quietly.
You face him, aghast. “No! It’s just, you know how it is... if everyone knew. They’d misunderstand, think I’m using you or something.” 
Your body freezes as you turn to face him. “Wait- you don’t think I’m using you... right?” 
Wonwoo quickly shakes his head. “No, I know you y/n. You would never do that. I’m just afraid. That you’ll leave me because I’m too quiet, or too busy with work or-..” 
You smile at him softly.
“You know I love you?” He stares at you, shocked. You had never said it to each other before, but you truly meant it. 
Reaching for his hand, you intertwine it with yours. “Did you know I thought about quitting my job before? When we were debuting the showcase. It was so stressful that I really was gonna leave.” You feel his hand grip yours tighter, so you continue.
“But you know I'll never leave you, right? I won’t ever leave you alone.” Nudging him, you add playfully, “that means you’re stuck with me forever.” 
Wonwoo laughs- a short deep sound. 
“I’m okay with that, cause I’m in love with you too.” 
 author note: i actually wanted to write more but got lazy...  im conflicted if i should add to the story or leave it as it is :\\\\ 
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baoshan-sanren · 4 years
Text
Chapter 37
of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35 | Chapter 36
There is no tea.
Not only is there no tea, but the Emperor’s small private study, located just beyond his personal chambers, is distinctly lacking in any accommodations necessary to serve or consume tea.
Ordinarily, WangJi would find himself irritated, even by such a harmless deception. After five days spent in the Immortal Mountain, however, he finds that he has become more patient. Perhaps not with others, but certainly with the Emperor, whose careless attitude and playful nature seem to conceal a much more complex character, one that WangJi has grown to respect.
The Lan Sect does not listen to gossip, but their new lodgings in the Jade Sword Palace make gossip impossible to avoid. Wei WuXian had lingered by WangJi’s side long past midnight, sunrise only hours away by the time they had finally parted. Yet, great many things seem to have happened since then, each one significant enough to shake the Immortal Mountain to its roots.
Before noontime tea, the Young Master of the Jin Sect had seen his betrothal annulled, the Jiang Sect had fallen out of favor, Sect Leader Nie had been given a title, and the Council seems to hover on the verge of being dissolved.  
WangJi cannot begin to guess what all of these events mean, separate or together, but he knows that Wei WuXian could not have possibly had a sufficient amount of sleep. He also knows that the world of court schemes and maneuverings, as distasteful as he finds it to be, is an inevitable reality of Wei WuXian’s existence. A part of him is even slightly curious, tentatively attempting to forge a connection between these seemingly unconnected events. Another part of him feels pity, that Wei WuXian cannot begin his day without some sort of upheaval.  
Even now, standing by the desk, wrapped in the heavy, intricate layers of the Imperial dragon robes, the Emperor is all exhaustion and tension. Less than a dozen hours have passed since they had seen each other last; WangJi had spent those hours in the peace and silence of the Imperial guest chambers. Wei WuXian looks as if he had spent them on the battleground, fighting for his life.
Still, when he sees WangJi, his face tranforms.
“Lan Zhan.”
WangJi nods in response. He is not sure when he had become fond of the way Wei WuXian says his name, but he can no longer deny the inevitable elation following on its heels. Each time, his name comes with an accompanying smile, and each time, that smile is for him alone.
“I hope you were not expecting tea,” Wei WuXian says ruefully.
WangJi does not dignify that with a response. One must adjust their expectations when faced with an Emperor who runs barefoot over the rooftops, and becomes unreasonably excited over rabbits.
“Uh, right,” Wei WuXian says, “there is something I need you to see.”
The bookcase behind the desk is filled to bursting. Perhaps, if it were only used to hold books, there would be plenty of space, and little to no chaos. But Wei WuXian seems to have filled the shelves with anything that could fit, and many things that could not, creating a precarious mess of objects that could topple at the smallest disturbance. There are numerous jade figurines of all sizes, small pots, boxes and ink stones, a few odd shapes that resemble children’s toys, books and scrolls crammed in between the objects, all with no sense or order.
It is a surprise when Wei WuXian manages to pull out three books and a flat box hiding behind them, without knocking anything to the ground. WangJi realizes that he has shifted to stand on his toes, fully expecting to have to provide assistance, or perhaps even protection from any wayward object that may come flying off the shelf to cause potential injury. No such thing occurs, however, and he places his heels back down, feeling silly for his overabundance of caution.
The flat box looks plain and light. Inside, it holds a single piece of paper, although it is immediately obvious that the paper is an Imperial Order, the Emperor’s stamp bright and bold, and difficult to miss.
WangJi does not expect Wei WuXian to simply offer the paper for perusal, without ceremony, and without any hint as to what the Order holds.
He is even more confused once he realizes that the paper is actually a declaration of succession. In the event of Wei WuXian’s death, the throne is to pass to--
He blinks. The Imperial Order is not long, for there is not much to the actual succession except naming the heir. Still, WangJi reads it again, just to be certain that he has not read the name in error.
He has not.
Well.
While he is reading, Wei WuXian is fidgeting. The dragon robes are not designed for such impatient movement, and WangJi resists the urge to grab him by the shoulders, and tell him to stop plucking at the golden thread on his sleeves. The robe probably costs more than thirty villages are capable of producing in a year.
He offers the paper back.
“I do not understand.”
“Which part?” Wei WuXian says slowly, and WangJi blinks at him.
Is there more than one part to the succession? No, he has read it twice.
“I do not understand why I need to know this,” WangJi clarifies.
“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, smiling again, but it is a nervous smile, as jittery as his hands, “This-- it is important. The-- line of succession. The person I intend to marry should know that the heir has already been chosen.”
WangJi narrows his eyes. He feels as if he had missed a part of their conversation.
His mind inevitably turns to the rumors that had flown rampant in the palace that same morning; the new title granted to the Nie Sect Leader, the dissolution of the Young Master Jin’s betrothal, and the possible dissolution of the Council.
Does-- Wei WuXian mean to marry Jin ZiXuan? It is a preposterous idea. Absolutely ridiculous.
But even so, WangJi suddenly finds that Jin ZiXuan cannot be allowed to live. WangJi will challenge him to a fight, then remove each and every one of his limbs, starting with his head. This should not be difficult to accomplish.
“You are angry,” Wei WuXian says, “I should have-- perhaps I should not have begun with the line of succession. I am not good at--“ he waves his hand, as if the motion is somehow supposed to make his words less incoherent.
He looks agitated and unhappy, and WangJi wants to help, but he is not sure how.
“You want to marry,” he says, trying to establish some logical narrative.
“Yes,” Wei WuXian says, “I want to marry. And before you disagree, I am aware that five days is an extremely limited amount of time to truly get to know another person. I have already gotten a lecture about this from A-Sang. And I have already gotten a lecture from your uncle, who can be extremely rude while remaining polite, a skill I admire, but do not want to confront again. Not if I can help it. And I-- I know life in the Immortal Mountain is probably not what you had in mind if-- if you had marriage in mind. Before today. But I think-- if you are willing to give it a chance, I could make you happy. I would like to try. To make you happy.”
There is a lag in WangJi’s understanding, as each sentence needs to be rearranged in his own mind, just so he can comprehend its meaning. Still, even with the lag, it takes him an abominably long time to fully grasp what Wei WuXian is saying.
Once he does, he finds himself shocked into stillness.
“Are you--“ Wei WuXian looks as if he means to move closer, than stops himself at the last moment, “You look-- more angry now. Than before. I understand that this is not an ideal proposal, what with the-- lack of gifts and ceremony and everything else, but--“
He sighs, apparently forgetting that his hair is neatly arranged, because his fingers make a mess of it in moments.
“An offer of marriage should not make you angry, Lan Zhan. I thought we-- does the idea of it bother you that much?”
WangJi needs to speak. Wei WuXian is capable of drawing thousands of incorrect conclusions before WangJi can formulate a single sentence, and WangJi needs to prevent this from happening, as soon as possible. But what is he supposed to say?
Clarify. This is always a good strategy, especially with Wei WuXian.
“Are you asking me to marry you?” WangJi says carefully, fully expecting Wei WuXian to laugh and deny it.
He believes that he had made his peace with the fact that the Emperor really likes him, whatever that means, when coming from a Divine Ruler. But marriage is-- something else entirely.
Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.
“Yes!” Wei WuXian exclaims, “Yes, I am asking you to marry me.”
“Why?” WangJi blurts out, incredulous.
“Why?” Wei WuXian repeats, the dumfounded expression on his face a perfect reflection of WangJi’s own feelings, “wh-- what do you mean, why? Because I fell in love with you. Why else would I marry someone?”
“You--“ WangJi’s throat is completely dry, and seems to have shrank into nothingness.
It is difficult to breathe, let alone form words.
This is utterly ridiculous. The most ridiculous thing WangJi has even heard, seen, or experienced, in his entire life.
And yet, he wants to hear it again. He wants Wei WuXian to say it again. The rush he had felt at those words cannot be described. It is obliterating.
Wei WuXian inches closer, his posture careful, “I still cannot tell when you are just angry, or so furious that you might try and kill me, so-- do not try and kill me? I should have probably led with the declaration of love, huh? I can try again. Lan Zhan, I am in love with you. I would really like it if you would marry me, and become the Emperor Consort. Your uncle has already given permission, and the Council is about to do so as well, or Empire will no longer have a Council. The throne already has an heir, so the succession is nothing to worry about. And since I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone else, I can swear to take no other spouse, as long as we are both alive in the world. Is that better? Did--“
WangJi does not plan to move.
He does not plan anything. The chaos of thoughts and emotions rushing through his mind can hardly be called thinking, let alone planning. Therefore, he is astonished to find himself acting so brashly. But Wei WuXian does not waste a single moment with something so banal as surprise.
His arms immediately wrap around WangJi’s shoulders, as if they belong there. There is a faint, lingering taste of pears and honey on his lips. His mouth is soft, his breaths hot and fast, his heartbeat a forceful thunder against WangJi’s chest. The exquisite texture of the Imperial dragon robe under his hands has nothing on the actual shape of Wei WuXian’s waist. WangJi can feel the ridges of his spine through the material, enticing but also fragile, and raked with barely perceptible tremors.
Wei WuXian smiles against his mouth, then laughs, his lips pressing a quick kiss to the tip of WangJi’s nose.
“Is that a yes?” he says, “Please tell me that means yes.”
WangJi is not yet capable of forming words. An extremely advantageous hindrance, because he cannot simply accept an offer of marriage, regardless of his feelings.
The bright smile on Wei WuXian’s face begins to fade, and WangJi feels panic, that he cannot explain himself quickly and succinctly, the way the situation demands.
“Lan Zhan?”
“I cannot accept,” WangJi says.
Wei WuXian blinks at him, then shifts slightly, as if to pull away. WangJi refuses to release him, his arms wrapping more securely around the silk-clad waist, fingers clutching handfuls of delicate material.
Perhaps he does so with more strength and urgency than necessary, because Wei WuXian stumbles, catching himself against WangJi’s chest.
“I want to accept,” he clarifies, “but I cannot. I must speak to uncle first.”
“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, “That-- but he-- I have already spoken to your uncle.”
“You have spoken to many people,” WangJi points out, “Everyone whose opinion you care to hear. Other than myself.”
Wei WuXian huffs, his restless fingers now plucking at the thread of WangJi’s robes instead of his own. WangJi would grab his hands to prevent it, but this would mean releasing his hold, and he does not think he is capable of doing so, at least not yet.
“I should be allowed to do the same,” WangJi says, “You must give me time.”
Wei WuXian’s fingers have now found their way to the collar of WangJi’s robes, and the brush of them against the skin of his neck is extremely distracting. The logical part of his brain insists that this is an inappropriate way to have a serious conversation. A marriage, especially one that would make him the Emperor Consort to the Divine Ruler of the Shan Empire is perhaps the most serious conversation that can possibly be conceived.
But Wei WuXian’s hair smells like pears, sweet and heavy, and he keeps biting his already reddened lip. The other part of WangJi’s brain, the one that does not care for logic or propriety, insists that he should stop speaking and kiss him again, regardless of the seriousness of the conversation.
Lan Zhan, I am in love with you.
His arms tighten of their own volition, and Wei WuXian huffs out a laugh. It is a small laugh however, and there is and nervous edge to it, carrying over into his voice.
“How much time? Because-- what if-- what if you think about it, and then-- decide that you do not want to marry me?”
“Then, I suppose you will have to marry Nie HuaiSang,” WangJi deadpans.
Wei WuXian splutters for a few moments, the expression on his face rapidly shifting from shock to displeasure to pure exasperation. Considering how many times Wei WuXian has managed to exasperate him in turn, WangJi does not feel bad.
“Do not joke,” Wei WuXian says, “I am serious. Your uncle had given permission, but he does not like me, and he will tell you all the reasons why marrying me is a terrible--“
“Wei Ying,” WangJi says, effectively cutting off the flow of words, “I want to marry you. I will not change my mind. But you must give me time.”
He is utterly unprepared for Wei WuXian’s bright smile, the warm glow of delight that washes over his face, the tiny crinkles in the corners of his eyes. He is even less prepared to be kissed again, but he is more than willing, Wei WuXian’s mouth eagerly searching for his own.  
They should have spent the past five days kissing. Any moment that WangJi had not been kissing Wei WuXian now feels an unacceptable waste of time, one he has every intention to remedy. Although Wei WuXian seems as invested in this plan as he is, he cannot seem to help smiling into the kiss, his lips often darting to press to WangJi’s cheek, his chin, the side of his nose. It is sweet and silly, his restless excitement, and WangJi is now certain that Wei WuXian had been right.
He will be more than capable of making WangJi happy.
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the-writer-nerd-ro · 3 years
Text
Part 1 of my HDL birthday fic. The other part will be out in the next few days
Birthday Plans
D: Any fun plans for today?
It was seven in the morning and Dewey was sitting in the cockpit of the Sunchaser on his birthday. Della was bringing coffee but Dewey was still a little tired. There was a different kind of tiredness that had settled in his bones as he thought about spending his birthday away from his brothers. He didn’t expect either of them to be awake but he thought he would shoot them a text before he started flying.
H: I wish. I have a bunch of tests tomorrow so I have to study all day today. But tomorrow after my tests, my friends and I are going out for belated birthday drinks.
D: Tell the bartender it’s your birthday and get free belated birthday drinks
H: I’m not going to lie, it’s against the JWG
D: You’re 24. You’re not a Junior Woodchuck anymore.
H: You’re right.
H: I’m a Senior Woodchuck.
L: Do you guys ever sleep???
D: It’s 7 AM
L: Yeah, it’s 7 AM, you should be asleep
D: What are your plans today, Lou?
L: Boyd is visiting after I get off work and we’re going to spend the rest of the day together
H: Aww, adorable.
D: Sappy
L: Anyway, what are you doing today, Dewdrop?
D: Doing a flight with mom and then cake with some of the fam later
H: Have fun, eat a slice of cake for me.
D: Will do
L: Your present should be in the mail. Yours too, Hue.
D: You didn’t have to get me anything
L: Yeah, but I feel bad that we can’t be together today. It feels weird.
D: It does feel weird
H: I miss you guys
Dewey set down his phone, blinking back tears. He hadn’t wanted to get emotional this morning but he was having a hard time holding it together if Huey was throwing around, “I miss you,” and Louie was commenting on how weird things were.
To avoid addressing his emotions Dewey found a gif of a dancing baby that said happy birthday. That was enough to start a gif chain that moved them away from heavy emotions.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Della asked, offering her son a cup of coffee, and taking in his bummed-out expression.
“Yeah, just texting Huey and Louie.”
Della nodded somberly, “It’s hard being apart from them, isn’t it?”
Dewey was trying his hardest not to get choked up.
“I shouldn’t be so dramatic. They’re just a few hours away, and we’re meeting up in a couple of weeks after Huey’s done with finals.”
“But today’s your birthday. It’s okay if you miss them extra hard today. Your feelings are valid.”
“It’s our first birthday apart,” Dewey whispered.
“I know how hard that can be,” Dell said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“Mom? Does it get easier?”
“A little. But the time apart makes the time together so much better. And you get to do one barrel roll in the Sunchaser on your birthday.”
“I should get to do 24 barrel rolls because it’s my 24th birthday.”
“Don’t push it, buddy.”
Huey had a coffee and an English muffin (toasted, lightly buttered) and was one flashcard away from a breakdown. He was exhausted, which was not the way you wanted to spend your 24th Birthday.
Everything was always happening all at once. Huey probably wouldn’t have remembered it was his birthday until Dewey had texted him earlier. He’d fussed about lying to an imaginary bartender but had had no qualms lying to his brothers. There were no friends taking him out for belated birthday drinks. No one here knew him intimately enough to know his birthday.
Texts would roll in all day from the family and friends who he desperately missed, wishing him a pleasant day and asking him about his fabricated plans. He was almost in tears every time he furthered this delusion that he had people here, that he was not just a loser alone on his birthday. How pathetic would that be? When Dewey was with their family and Louie was with his boyfriend. Huey’s chest ached about the fact he was the only one alone.
Fenton was the only one who called him out on his lie.
F: What’re you doing for your birthday, Huey?
H: I have to study today but I’m getting drinks with some friends tomorrow.
F: Oh, nice.
F: So you finally made some friends over there?
Huey wished that he hadn’t ranted to his mentor about how incredibly difficult it was to find time to make friends.
H: ...No
F: So who are you drinking with?
H: Nobody
F: Drinking alone, then? Maybe call a car to get home.
H: I’m not drinking alone
F: So you just lied to me?
H: Not just you?
Fenton stopped responding for a few minutes and Huey felt devastated. He hadn’t wanted to lie to his loved ones but he hadn’t wanted them to pity him either. And now he had to deal with guilt on top of all the exhaustion.
F: So you’re all alone on your birthday?
H: I guess I am
F: I see why you wouldn’t want to talk about that
F: But you didn’t need to lie
H: It’s too late now, I already told everyone that I’d be drinking with friends tomorrow.
F: Well, I don’t have any plans tomorrow. Team Science reunion?
H: Team Science reunion
Huey felt a bit better about his birthday, grateful that Fenton had reached out. He still missed his brothers though. He decided to text them both one more time today before he went back to studying, though he decided to text them separately this time.
H: Have a safe flight, Dewey.
D: Thanks, bro. Good luck studying
H: Thanks
He decided to text Louie later since he’d been tired and he wasn’t fun to talk to when he was tired. And then, swamped with studying, he promptly forgot until dinner.
H: Hey! I hope you had a good day at work and that you and Boyd have fun today. A responsible amount of fun.
L: Lol I’ll tell Boyd that the arson is canceled
H: No arson, but you could still probably make S’mores. Boyd’s really good at that.
L: I get it, you’re both Senior Woodchucks. Hey, do something nice for yourself today, okay? Don’t just study yourself to death.
H: ...Okay. Thanks, Lou
“Who’re you texting?” Boyd asked, already making himself comfortable on Louie’s couch.
“Huey. He told us to have fun. And to not commit arson.”
“I wasn’t gonna commit arson on purpose, were you going to commit arson?”
“Well, it’s my birthday, and you did bring cupcakes and candles.”
“Mm, those are more fun if you blow them out instead of letting them burn. How’s Huey doing anyway? Fenton just texted me about him.”
“I’m afraid he’s overworking himself,” Louie admitted, “But that’s just Huey’s nature. I'm not especially surprised.”
"That's the vibe I got too. Fenton asked me if I wanted to go get drinks with him and Huey tomorrow so that he doesn't have to be alone."
“Whoa,” Louie said, eyes widening.
“What?”
“Huey must’ve lied about having plans with his school friends tomorrow.”
“Aw. Well, you would’ve done the same thing. Huey probably just didn’t want you guys to worry. A classic Louie move.”
Louie frowned deeply.
"Hey, babe, do you ever get the sense you're doing the wrong thing?"
"Elaborate?"
"Well, I took this internship, to you know, pull myself up by my bootstraps. Be my own person."
"I'm really proud of you for that."
"Yeah, well… Being my own person sucks. I've always been one in a set of three. And it feels like recently someone ripped the "Do not separate" sticker off and I hate it."
"Hm… Do you want to come and get drinks with me tomorrow?"
"Getting wasted won't help. I've tried and alcohol doesn't fill that hole."
"I know, I've carried you home before. But I mean do you want to go get drinks with me and your brother? We could surprise Huey."
"Hey… That's not such a bad idea. I need to make a call."
“I’ll light your cupcakes on fire,” Boyd said cheerfully.
“No fair, starting the arson without me,” Louie laughed, as he pulled up the texts from the morning and tapping on Dewey’s number.
“Oh, hey! Hey, Louie, hold on, guys Louie’s on the phone, we gotta sing again!”
Louie laughed, cringing a little in anticipation of the awkwardness as his family began a staticky and muffled rendition of Happy Birthday.
“Thanks, guys, means a lot to me. Dewey, can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Sure, sure, let me just step outside,” A moment later Dewey’s voice came back, “What’s up?”
“Are you busy tomorrow?”
“Uh, not sure, why?”
“Well, it seems like Hubert lied about his birthday plans. Apparently, there were never any friends he was gonna go drinking with, so Fenton decided to drop by and he wanted to bring Boyd and Boyd thought it was a good idea if I tagged along. So what if we surprise Huey? He’s been working really hard at med school- hell, we’ve all been working really hard. What do you say?”
Dewey was silent for a minute and then Louie heard a laugh (Or was it a sob?) on the other end.
“Man, I’ve missed you guys so much. I’d love to do that. Let’s set something up, mm-kay?”
“Yeah. Boyd! Text Fenton and tell him that me and Dewey are gonna come surprise Huey, we’ll figure it out from there.”
“Okee dokee,” Boyd said cheerfully, putting an alarming amount of candles (probably 24) in one cupcake.
“I have to go, Dewey, I’m afraid that Boyd is about to set my apartment on fire without me, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow! Enjoy your fire hazard and your boyfriend.”
“Those are the same thing, Dewey.”
“Then enjoy your fire boyfriend. Boyfire? I dunno.”
“He is pretty fire, isn’t he? Bye, Dewey.”
“Bye!”
“Boyd if you light that you’ll coat that cupcake in so much wax it’ll be disgusting and that’s just a waste of a good cupcake.”
“Then I’ll eat that one. I’m an android I’m not as picky about what is and isn’t cupcake.”
“Sometimes, fortunately not often but sometimes, you remind me so much of Dewey that it’s terrifying.”
“Do you still love me?” Boyd asked, squinting a little and laser lighting the candles. As Louie had assumed it quickly became a soupy, fiery mess.
“More than words can express,” Louie said, capturing Boyd’s lips in a kiss after extinguishing the cupcake.
“Did you make a wish, baby?” Boyd asked, holding Louie close by the hips.
“I don’t need to, everything is going to be okay. In fact, I think that everything is going to be… Perfect.”
“Happy Birthday…”
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the-stray-liger · 3 years
Note
As a student in art school about to graduate- do you have any tips to get in the habit of taking breaks and avoiding burnout?
The thing with breaks is that you either take the fucking break or your body will decide when to take it for you and you will not like it. The brain is like any other organ, if you don’t use it enough it weakens and if you overexert it it will fail and leave you incapacitated 
Set timers. Set as many timers as you can and follow them religiously. I know a lot of artists think that taking a break means stop making art for work/school and making personal art but that is super fucking wrong. You need REAL breaks during which you DON’T make any fucking art. Lock your computer or your tablet, put your sketchbook away and for a while dedicate yourself to do something you enjoy that isn’t art. Art schools inp articular love pushing the narrative in whcih if you’re not making art and suffering 24/7 you’re not a real artist. Fuck that SHIT in the ass with a fucking cactus
Consuming new media is like charging batteries for your brain. Just like eating, you need to consume things to keep your brain nourished so it can create and work properly. Read a book, watch a movie, read some comics, watch anime, whatever inspires you and makes you feel good. Go outside, play some games, love your pet, talk to another person, ya know the drill
Have some hobbies that aren’t art related. I love building gunpla for example, that is a wonderful way to keep my hands and brain occupied and it’s stimulating and super fun because you’re actually making something and it’s very fullfilling
Again, set up a schedule AND FUCKING FOLLOW IT, take your breaks on time, SLEEP AND EAT PROPERLY. I know half of this goddamn website is adhd (I am too) so following schedules isn’t something that comes naturally, but just like you have learned to have the discipline to draw every day you WILL have to learn the discipline to take care of your fucking brain whether you like it or not. 
I know hyperfocus is how a lot of adhd/nd folks out there manage to stay productive but it’s not healthy, at all. I know it because I was a victim of it, I hyperfocused on art and that contributed a lot to my burnout because I stayed working for hours even after I was physically exhausted. You can’t let your neurodivergency take control of your life like that to the point where you have worked so much you’re physically and mentally unable to do it anymore. That’s why it’s important to set timers and force yourself to fucking follow the fucking schedule
Try different things. If you’re a lineart based artist like me, give painting a shot. If you’re a painter try doing something cartoony. If you dry mostly digital try traditional art. You know the drill, try to expand your skillset, learn something new for fun. That keeps your brain active and lets you be creative in a different way. It’s cool to have preferences when it comes to art, but if you stay drawing always the same thing you will not only not progress but you will get tired very fast and burn out. 
Not really related but also kinda related: be really careful with social media. Nowadays every website’s objective is to fuck artists over as much as possible by reducing their visibility and hence the amount of notes/views the artists get and for many artists that is literally their livelihood. Ngl it’s good to have your effort seen and recognized and praised but part of my burnout was also due to trying to keep up with punitive algoritms that killed my visibility. I tried to work more, harder, I tried anything to try and get my art to be more popular and when I didn’t get a proportionate response I collapsed. I have a personality disorder in which I am pretty much unable to define myself if I’m not being validated by other ppl and this treatment from social media straight up destroyed me. So again, be careful not to make the amount of notes you get online the only source of validation and approval. Learn to love your work and appreciate your own effort, that will teach you to not push yourself to the point of burnout too
Anyway sorry if I seem aggressive I am very very very stressed right now but I promise I really really want to help as many ppl as I can avoid the shit I have been dealing with for more than a year now
Congratulations on your graduation anon!!! I hope you all the good luck and happiness in the world, I hope this helps somehhow!
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they-callme-ami · 4 years
Text
Double Dutch. (aka the drunk! Elijah, Aurora, black!MC and Tobias fic)
Note: This story uses lots of AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and is mostly intended for a black audience--you can still read for funsies or whatever, but I better not hear some shit about it not being inclusive or using 'improper grammar'.
Tags: @what-do-you-mean-theyre-evil @tyrils-star @melaninnntae @indescribablybre @prism-goddess
It started innocently enough: you were helping Aurora wrap her hair, pinning it up and tying the scarf around it.  Elijah rolled into the living room in his pajamas. You three were the only ones at home since you three had worked later than Jackie, Bryce and Sienna and didn’t feel like going out that night.  But y’all weren’t opposed to chillin and talkin’ shit. 
It had been a long ass day. Ethan was getting on every damn nerve you had, either talking about his mom and their strained relationship or bugging you about your cases. The man just did not leave you alone, and normally it was cool--but today he needed to back the fuck up and stop talkin shit about Tobias. It was gettin old. Not only that, but you had your own intern to deal with--which is what you were going on about now.
“I’m telling you Elijah--I love Esme but that girl is too fuckin much!  She always stay talkin back to the other attendings, nearly started a fight with another intern, and even when she asks for my advice she don’t listen! Thinkin she know everything….fuckin stubborn headass..” You sigh while twisting your hair.  
“Uh-huh. Sounds like a familiar head-ass doctor I know.  You were on trial last year, stoopid!  I know your ass not talkin bout Esme.  She’s a breeze compared to Sothy… he barely knows how to do anythin--it's a damn miracle he graduated y’know.”
“And who’s fault is that Elijah--oh, excuse me, Oracle.”  Aurora smirked and laughed as Elijah could only sit there, ultimately taking the L.
As y’all were about to go in on each other, there was a knock at the door.
“Oh! Finally, must be the package I ordered.  I hope y’all are ready to see me strut the halls in my new---”  You open the door, only to see Tobias there in some sweats with some take out food and a paper bag.
“Not a package, but I’d love to see what you plan on struttin in.”  He teased and smirked.
“SHIT---Uh---why are you here so late---”  You had your bonnet on and a big ass t-shirt with some stains on it and some basketball shorts.  It was the first time he'd seen you so casual.
"Easy there firecracker, I didn't expect you to look--what are the kids saying--'beat and snatched' 24/7." He pecked your lips and walked in. 
“I invited him Y/N. Tobias, don't ever try and say that shit again and bring me my wings.”  Aurora smiled and laughed, seeming to not be phased by her boss seeing her in a scarf and acne cream dotting her face.  Was she just so tired from work she didn’t care?  Who were you kidding, this girl was a complete trip after a long day and was just sayin ‘fuck it’.
“Elijah, I got Tobias to grab you some of that shrimp scampi from that place downtown, and Y/N--he got you your favorite cause I told him and you his new boo thing.”  Aurora smirked with a wing in hand, and Elijah playfully gagged while Tobias handed out takeout containers and handed yours over. Yup, it was your favorite dish from your favorite place.  
“Now--I was invited for 3 reasons: A.) I have a car so I could do the food run and get y’all spoiled asses some good food.  B.)  I live 5 blocks away from the liquor store so--” He held up a bottle from the bag he had--Hennessy, cause of course he’d get the most stereotypical dr--”And C.) I had to pull a double shift so I’m tired and nice enough to share some college Ramsey stories with y’all.”
So there you were, sipping on your glass and laughing as Tobias was explaining how Ethan thought that ‘double dutch’ was some kind of dessert or innuendo for a threesome with exchange students.
“Wait wait---no no you gotta be kiddin me.  Fuckin 4.0 Med school GPA Ramsey--future head of Edenbrooks Diagnostics Team--thought double dutch was some kinda play on words?  I have to laugh…” Elinah snorts. You couldn’t help but burst into whoops and hollars, laughing and even Aurora couldn’t hide the smile on her face after she almost choked on her drink.
“Uh-huh.  Even after I told him what it was, he insisted that he had to see ‘it’.  I took him to my old neighborhood, and watched four 9 year old girls school him while he nearly fell flat on his face!”  Tobias laughed and smiled as he recalled the memory.  “For someone so fuckin smart--I swear to god he’s a dumbass.  Arrogant too, he never wanted to jump rope at the gym anymore.”
Something inside you flipped on.  You took a sip of Henny and smirked.  
“Well, I knew he had the fuckin long-ass neck of a giraffe, but clearly them legs ain’t doin him a favor either.”  Tobias nearly spat his drink and crumbled on the floor into laughter, Elijah slamming his hand on the table and laughing with him.  It was taking all of Aurora’s willpower to not laugh and act a fool.  “I mean, I know he ain’t got any rhythm either!  Mothafucka was clappin OFFBEAT during Donahue’s karaoke night, but I’m supposed to trust him to count how many heartbeats a patient has.”  You joke again, and Elijah was holding his sides.
“Fuck---he---Y/N shut the hell up!”  Tobias laughed and playfully pushed your shoulder.  “Pass me the damn bottle….y’all lemme tell you somethin worse than that--his cooking.  The man can’t stay on beat let alone beat a fuckin egg.  Y/N--tell ‘em bout the chicken.”
“He---He invited me home after work or somethin--and he wanted me to help him with this recipe he saw for chicken.  Y’all, it was the BLANDEST ass recipe I ever saw in my life.  I was terrified to eat whatever the fuck he was makin, it was so bad his dad even helped out and said how it needed some proper seasoning.  I had never seen an old man so disappointed in such an empty spice cabinet.  I had to leave.”  You snicker as you retell the story.  “Even worse?  He tried to bring me some leftovers afterwards and by god was that mothafucka dry as HELL---y’know what, lemme calm down cause I am not about to yell over some bland ass chicken.”  You chugged down the Henny and grabbed the bottle to pour another glass.
“Y’know….for someone who seemed real eager to stuff a chicken, he cannot seem to tell he got a stick stuffed far up his ass.  No wonder he walks around like an emotionally constipated man-baby.”  Aurora said with a straight face as she chugged her own drink.  You turned away, laughing and doing a spit take as Tobias slammed his fist on the table, snorting while Elijah simply was in awe at Aurora’s words. 
 “My first week there, I was assigned to Y/N and cause my auntie was makin me give her full on oral essays of every case I had, I missed out on one of ours and nearly let a patient die.  Now---his ass knows this.  He knows exactly who the fuck I am and who the fuck my aunt is.  And what did he do?  Chewed me out without a second thought.  I was *this* close to curb stomping his ass I swear--He even called Y/N amature after saving someone’s life because it ‘was sloppy’ and ‘wasn’t professional enough’.  And another thing--” 
You watched Aurora stand up, Henny in her hand, and just goin off on Ethan.  She was tearing into him, from him being able to get off the hook for punching Declan, verbally avicerating innocent interns, being all high and mighty--man, she hated his ass.  Elijah was just eating his scampi, vibing and Tobias was smiling like a proud parent, eating his burger. 
 “He gon have the nerve--the audacity--the CAUCASITY to assume that I’M trippin because I told him about Landry being all rude and dismissive of one of his black-female patients.  He nearly put ME on probation for helping deliver the baby properly when Landry prescribed her the wrong treatment for something cause neither of them will ever fuckin LISTEN and--”  You could not have been any more impressed.  You were just soaking it all in.  She finally sat back down and ate some of her wings.
Tobias sighs and grins.  “Damn. Elijah, you been real quiet...you wanna add your two cents?” he asks while Tobias took a big gulp and sat the glass back down.  He took a deep breath.
“No, no….I just want his long-neck-headass, mommy-didn’t-love-me-so-I’m-a-lil-bitch-headass, grudge-holding-grown-ass-man-headass, lemme-insult-my-interns-headass, pompous, privileged, irritating, high and oh so fuckin’ mighty ass to humble himself and learn to get his head and the stick he got outta his ass.  It ain’t cute to just bash everyone around you cause yo ass is feelin like Hamilton, ‘smartest in the room’ mofo.”  He said, all very calmly while finishing his drink.   You, Tobias and Aurora just exchanged a look….and broke out into a fit of laughs and smiling. 
A few drinks later and a hella amount of roasts later, you were cuddled up with Tobias while Elijah laid out on Aurora's lap. 
"Damn…..we really been up for hours now. Jackie and Sienna still out…" Elijah piped up and checked his phone. "They're at Bryce's place, having a 'girls night' with Keiki and sleepin over…..ooooo, Tobias should sleep over too!" He showed y'all a photo Sienna sent. 
"Uh-huh, you should! We can watch movies and... oh Elijah your hair is sooooo soft." Aurora smiled and was playfully twisting it. Seems like the drinks were finally hitting.  Tobias could tell too.
He managed to help Elijah back in his wheelchair and followed his directions to his room.  He came back out to you helping Aurora to her room.
"Byyyye boss. See ya at work! If you do stay over, y'all better be quiet while he rearrange them guts!" She poked you laughing as you rolled your eyes and got her in bed.  You walked back out, feeling tipsy yourself and plopped on the couch...with Tobias.
"Y'know….your friends definitely know how to go all in on a roast session. I found out shit about Ethan I didn't know till now."
"Mhmmmm….Henny is….is a miracle worker…" you slurred and laughed, laying up on him. "And yoooooouuu….are a fine-ass pillow." 
Before you succumbed to the exhaustion and hennessy, you felt Tobias's lips peck your cheek gently and his arms hold you tight against him.
The next day at work, you were taking your break and went outside to the courtyard...much to your surprise you found a few children--presumabley patients-- playing double dutch with some jump rope.
"Apples, peaches, pears, and plums
Tell me when your birthday comes! 1! 2! 3! 4!"
They were counting along as you hopped inside the rope, showing off a bit and laughing. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ethan walking towards the building.
"Hey, Ethan, wanna join? It may not be a dessert or two dutch girls--but it'll be fun!" You called out and teased while working the ropes. You could see his face turn red from where you were, and him muttering softly about Tobias. You couldn't help but laugh as you kept skipping and hopping away.
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snowdice · 4 years
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Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 24]
I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.
My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
Got a little editing to do and instead of studying... I’m going to do that! (And then study later... I hope.)
Chapter 8
Whatever the potion was that the prince had just given him made his mouth tingle slightly. It was not an unpleasant sensation. In fact, it was actually kind of nice, and it tasted pretty good though not as good as the honey he’d been offered earlier. It did, as Logan had said, have a bit of a sour taste under the sweet of the honey. Yet, the way it sort of warmed his tongue almost made up for that.
He bit his lip, wondering if he was making a mistake and having more than a taste would rip apart his insides, but still replied, “yes,” when Logan asked if he was willing to drink more.
 “Okay,” Logan said, tapping his finger on the container in his hands. “I’d like you to drink about to this line today if you can, but you can go as slow as you like.”
Virgil nodded. “Okay.”
Logan offered the container again and this time Virgil opened his mouth for it slightly. Logan tilted it slow, letting Virgil control the pace. It was still slightly warm from being cooked, but there was a bit of unnatural warmness to it as well. It slid down his throat easily when he swallowed, and Virgil could feel it go to work the instant it hit his stomach.
 Virgil paused and Logan let him. The warmth didn’t fade. Instead, it seemed to radiate out and through him. He opened his lips again and Logan tilted a bit more of the liquid into his mouth. He drank until Logan pulled the container away and looked at the level of the liquid. Seeming to be satisfied with how much Virgil had drank, Logan capped the container and moved away.
“You should drink a little bit more each day until this is empty,” Logan said.
“O-okay,” Virgil agreed. The effects of the potion hadn’t faded. There was a pleasant, warm buzzing all over his skin at this point.
 It seemed to congregate where he knew there were still a few leftover bruises on his back fizzling there slightly under the skin. He let out a breath and felt his head slightly droop, suddenly felling very sleepy.
Logan turned back to him and seemed to notice. “Apologies,” Logan said, “I did forget to mention that it has a general healing potion in it as well. If you were at all injured and it needed to activate, you may feel some drowsiness. Though it should in no way be enough to force you asleep if you do not wish it.”
12766
A potion with a sleeping agent sounded like something Virgil should be concerned about, he thought, but he couldn’t quite manage to summon any anxiety over it for once. He felt himself list a bit to the side.
“…Of course,” Logan continued. “I did not account for the fact that I have no idea when you last slept, and you are also likely suffering from an adrenaline crash considering your panic a few minutes ago.”
Those… sounded… like… words?
“Oh dear,” Logan said. “Let’s not fall asleep in the chair.” He felt Logan hovering over him and squinted up at him.
 “I’m going to touch you now, alright?” Logan asked. Everything felt kind of floaty and he felt warm but not too hot all over, like he’d fallen asleep at the exact right distance from a fire. His eyes slipped shut and he couldn’t quite recall why that made a bit of panic shoot up his spine. Said panic was dulled immediately by the crashing waves of exhaustion and a comforting lack of pain anyway. “…Virgil?”
“Mmmph.” The identity of the speaker didn’t quite stick anymore, but it didn’t sound mad so it was probably fine.
“...I will take that as consent.” Gentle hands pushed him back up into a sitting position where he had been listing to the side and then Virgil’s wrists were grabbed. Virgil confusedly staggered to his feet when he was pulled up and immediately stumbled into something warm. He decided to lean against it. Leaning against it sounded good.
“When is the last time you slept, Virgil?” The voice rumbling from the warm thing supporting Virgil’s weight registered as chiding, but there didn’t seem to be any danger coming from it. He was given a soft push and he tripped in that direction. A warm band went around his waist to steady him and then pulled him forward. Virgil allowed himself to be guided, leaning heavily against the warmth next to him. He was stopped after an unknown amount of walking. “I’m going to have to put you in the closet again for now since I have to keep watch over the binding potion. However, it seems as though Patton has already constructed a comfortable enough sleeping area there anyway.”
“Mmmnum.”
“Would you lay down for me?” Laying down sounded fantastic right now. The walking was not fun and had made him even more tired. He let his body slump forward until his knees hit something very soft and then toppled onto his face. There was a sigh from above him and then hands were pushing at him until he rolled over onto his side. When one of the hands strayed near his head, he pressed his cheek into it.
“This would be something Patton would find adorable if it wasn’t a result of my unintentionally drugging you, injuries, and sleep deprivation.” The hand Virgil had been leaning into carefully lifted his head and when it was lowered again, his ear sunck into a plush thing. Something soft was pulled on top of Virgil, covering him from head to toe and then the warm thing drew away. Virgil whined at the loss.
There was a pause. “Here.” Something soft and squishable was placed under his chin and Virgil curled his arms around it, pulling it to his chest. “Sleep well. I’ll be back to check on you periodically” There was a soft click and then the world got even darker behind his closed eyelids. Virgil drifted off to sleep.
 “I think if we put a few more blankets and pillows in here, it would work okay,” a voice was saying when Virgil started to wake.
“You think he needs more?” another voice asked.
“Yes, Logan,” the first voice chided. “We want him to be comfortable.”
Speaking of comfortable, Virgil had no idea where he was at the moment or what was happening, but he was very comfortable. There was soft fluffiness closing him in on all sides and what felt like a really nice pillow under his head. He curled up even more around whatever he was holding against his chest.
 “Aw, Logan look,” the first voice cooed. There was a slight pause and a light smacking noise. “Don’t roll your eyes! You’re the one who gave him Barnaby!”
“…He was distressed.”
“Uh huh.”
“Shut up.”
Virgil was starting to wake up a bit more. He squirmed a bit and opened his eyes a crack to see two figures in front of him.
“Hey there,” Patton said, noticing him move. “You waking up?”
Virgil blinked a couple of times. He was still a little sleepy… right, Logan had given him a potion that had a sleep aid. He should probably be a bit more upset about that, but considering he was waking up without any problems, he thought it was okay.
 “Hey there,” Patton said softly. “How’re you doing?”
“Uh… I’m okay,” Virgil answered.
“Good.”
Virgil looked around himself and found that he was covered in a thick blanket and had something wedged between his restrained arms near his chest. He gave it a confused looked.
“That’s Barnaby,” Patton said. “He’s my stuffed bear.”
“Oh,” Virgil said staring at it. He couldn’t see much more than the top of it’s furry head. “Do you want him back.”
“You can keep him for now,” Patton said. “His job is to help make people feel better and you seem like you maybe need him right now.”
 “O-okay?”
Patton smiled brightly at him which seemed weird because all Virgil had done was keep something that belonged to Patton. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Lo and I already ate a bit ago, but we kept the rest of it warm for you.” Well that was an offer Virgil wasn’t about to refuse.
“I would like to eat,” Virgil said hesitantly. “I-if that’s okay?”
“Of course, sweetie,” Patton said.
“Actually, if you wait a few more minutes,” Logan said. “I will have a way for you to eat more easily.” Virgil looked over at him questioningly. “The new binding potion finished up and I have been letting it dry on new restraints that will give you more freedom of motion,” he explained. Virgil did not relish the experience of having more binding magic applied to him, but at least it didn’t sound like he’d be forced to drink anything or that it would be poured directly on his skin. Virgil didn’t know what he meant by ‘more freedom of motion,’ but it sounded like something he’d want.
“Okay,” he agreed.
  Chapter 9
Logan had explained briefly what had happened while Patton was gone getting food. Patton had lectured him a bit about the whole drugging the poor boy on accident over breakfast, but he understood why it had happened. Logan had been too busy explaining to him that the nutritional potion would not hurt him, that he’d forgotten to explain everything about it.
The poor thing. Patton didn’t have any personal experience with binding potions, but he’d been around that one time Logan had accidently gotten some on his hand and that had been a nightmare. Swallowing it had to hurt really, really bad.
 So, it made sense that Virgil was tense when Logan came back in with the new restraints. It was just two thick leather bands that looked like simple bracelets and had little engravings on them. Patton wasn’t sure if those were decorations or meant something, but he did know at first glance they didn’t look like something to keep someone prisoner.
“I’m going to put these on first,” Logan told Virgil. Patton had brought him out of the closet and set him down in one of the comfy chairs while Logan had been gone. “Then, I’ll take off the old ones. Once that’s done, we’ll do some adjustments okay?” Virgil nodded, looking resolutely at his knee.
 Logan’s expression grew pinched, but he still reached out to take Virgil’s wrists. Patton saw Virgil close his eyes and clench his fists. The leather bands were quickly fastened around his arms above where the metal ones sat. Then, Logan removed the metal ones and set them aside. “I’m going to tighten these around your wrists now,” Logan said, already sliding them down so they settled around his wrists. “Please tell me if there is any discomfort. I want them to be tight enough not to chafe, but I don’t want to tighten them too much and cut off your circulation.”
 Virgil peeked open his eyes and blinked down at the cuffs. “That didn’t…” hurt, Patton filled in to himself.
“It’s not meant to hurt Virgil,” Logan said. “Whoever has applied binding magic to you before clearly is not only grossly negligent, but cruel. Now,” he finished fiddling with the cuffs. “There are three different settings that only Patton and I can change for these cuffs. The first setting is like the basic binding potion on the metal cuffs. It keeps your wrists locked in place wherever they’re moved.” He moved Virgil’s wrists, so they were both at his side and tapped the cuffs once. They glowed slightly making Virgil look at them curiously.
 “This setting allows you some range of motion. You can move slowly, but you will feel a pull back to this position and if you move too quickly it will snap your wrist back into place. Go ahead and try it.”
Virgil stared at him for a long moment. “Just… just move them?”
“Slowly, but yes.”
Virgil’s arms moved very slowly at first, but eventually he did pull them in front of him. Then he let them return to his sides.
“See?” Logan said. “You can do things like eat with that setting easily. The third setting gives unrestrained range of motion, but Patton or I can make them snap back into place with a thought.”
 “We’ll likely keep it on the second setting when we are actively watching you and the first when we are not, but I wanted to have the flexibility of the third as well. For now, we’ll keep it on that setting so you can eat.”
“Okay,” Virgil agreed.
“Here,” Patton said, walking over to where they had stored Virgil’s breakfast. “Logan put it in a stasis thing to keep it warm for you.” He walked back and sat it down next to him. “So, we’ve got bacon, eggs, blueberry pancakes, and blueberries by themselves. I suggest we start with the pancakes.”
 “Um,” Virgil said. “Okay.” He still didn’t seem comfortable with moving his arms much, so he nodded at the plate. “Are those the pancakes?”
Patton gasped. “You’ve never had pancakes before?!”
Virgil looked startled. “Uh… no?”
“We need to rectify this immediately!”
“You were already going to have him eat pancakes,” Logan pointed out.
Patton ignored him and instead pulled over one of the other chairs so he could sit next to Virgil. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right,” he informed Virgil.
Virgil blinked at him and then looked over at Logan. “What is he talking about?”
 “I have no idea. Just do what he wants. The worst it will be is a slight annoyance,” Logan said. Patton stuck his tongue out, but also it seemed to make Virgil relax marginally so he couldn’t actually be annoyed.
“So, these are blueberry pancakes,” Patton said. “They’re my favorite types of pancakes,” Patton said. “Though chocolate chips ones are pretty good too. Have you had blueberries before?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Well, these are blueberries from the castle gardens and they’re really good. Here, try one!” He picked up the bowl and offered it to him. He looked at it hesitantly. “Oh! Right!” Patton said. He reached forward and popped a couple into his mouth.
 Then, he offered the bowl again. Virgil very slowly reached out to take one and brought it to his mouth. Patton watched as his eyes lit up when he bit down on the blueberry.
“See they’re really good!” Patton said. He shook the bowl. “Have another one.” He was a little quicker to grab a second blueberry, but still cautious of the restraints. He popped it into his mouth and happily chewed it. The way he perked up a little bit at the taste was absolutely adorable
“Okay,” Patton said, smiling in excitement about the next part, knowing if he had never had pancakes, he probably had never had syrup either. “You can have more of those later, but first we’re going to introduce you to one of the most important parts of pancakes other than the actual pancakes: syrup.”
 Patton grabbed the still slightly warm bowl of syrup and stuck his finger in it before putting it in his mouth.
“Patton that’s disgusting!” Logan scolded. Patton rolled his eyes, popping the finger out of his mouth.
“Don’t mind him,” Patton instructed. “He’s just silly.”
Logan sputtered. “You didn’t wash your hands.”
Patton met Virgil’s eyes and then rolled them halfway. He saw Virgil’s lips twitch just barely. Patton offered the syrup and Virgil carefully dipped his finger in and brought it to his mouth. He made a small sound when he tasted it and then blushed slightly when he realized that he did.
 “And then the best part,” Patton tore off a little bit of the blueberry pancake with his fingers and dipped it into the syrup.
“Patton silverware.”
Patton looked over at him. “Are we giving Virgil a fork?”
“Right…” Logan said. “Probably not.”
“It’s better to eat it as finger food anyway,” Patton advised Virgil. “Go ahead.”
Virgil tore a piece of the pancake off and dipped it into the syrup. He got maybe a bit too much on it because it dripped onto his shirt, but it was worth it to see his expression when he ate the bite of pancake.
 “Like it?” Patton asked. Virgil nodded. “Well have as much as you want and don’t forget about the bacon and eggs. You need some protein too.”
“Okay,” Virgil agreed. He reached forward and grabbed some bacon.
“Patton and I were discussing sleeping arrangements before you woke,” Logan said after a few moments. Virgil looked up warily at that, and Patton wondered what he expected out of that. “I’m going to ward the closet you were in earlier and you can sleep in there.”
“I’ll make it up real nice and comfy for you,” Patton assured. “I bet we can even convince Logan to make you some of the fun light thingys he does for it.”
 “Unless you have an objection,” Logan said, “however, you seemed to be comfortable in the closet before. Also, with is warded, I’ll set it so whenever you are in the closet you can move your arms freely.”
“The closet is good,” Virgil said. “It’s comfy.”
“And that’s without all the other stuff I’m going to put in it!” Patton bounced a bit in excitement. “We can decorate it too! However, you like!”
“…Okay?” Virgil replied, seeming confused.
“Great!” Patton chirped. “You keep eating and I’ll go get stuff to decorate it if Logan’s able to watch you.”
“Sure,” Logan agreed. “Go ahead.”
 “Okay,” he turned back to Virgil. “What type of decorations do you want? I have a lot of cat decorations in my room so we can do that. Or mama has a lot of flower themed things I can get from her. Ooo and I think I still have star themed stuff from Logan’s birthday last year.”
“I like stars,” Virgil said after a moment’s thought. “But anything is fine.”
“Stars work,” Patton said with a smile. “I’ll go get the stuff and we can decorate the closet together today so it’s nice and comfy for when you go to bed.”
 “I’ll be right back with the stuff in a few minutes,” he said before leaving Logan’s room.
  Chapter 10
Patton spent most of the day setting up the closet into a makeshift bedroom. They moved the clothing that had been in that closet to a storage area in the potion’s lab, and Patton fussed over the arrangement of the pillows and blankets for far longer than necessary. Now he was putting up little decorations on the walls. He continuously asked for Virgil’s opinion, and Virgil always seemed startled by that fact. Logan observed them sitting halfway into the closet while fiddling with the star shaped lights Patton had wanted him to make.
 He figured Virgil would appreciate having the option of multiple light settings for the lights since they’d be above his head all night. Logan had only ever made them with on and off settings before, so he’d grabbed a few of his books; he currently had one in his lap. While he’d already figured out how to make preset settings and had programmed four: off, 100%, 50% and 25%, now he was working on the possibility of making a sliding dimmer. It was a bit more complex of a task, but it should be doable.
“There!” Patton said. “Nice and comfy!”
 Logan glanced up to see the way Virgil’s head tilted like he was trying to puzzle Patton out. Patton just smiled at him. “Go ahead and test it out!” he said. “We can switch things around if you want.”
Virgil obediently crawled into the closet and onto the makeshift bed Patton had made.
“Lay down and make sure it’s okay,” Patton coaxed.
Virgil did, laying down on the pile of pillows and blankets and laying his head on the pillow that had been reserved for that purpose.
“Is it okay?” Patton asked.
Virgil blinked long and slow like he was very much contemplating going to sleep right then and there. Logan wondered if the potion was still affecting him or if he was just still exhausted from before. Perhaps it was both. “Yeah,” he said softly.
 Patton turned to look at Logan. “Are the lights done?” he asked.
“Not quite yet,” Logan said. “They will be ready before it is time to sleep.”
“Sounds good!” Patton said. “We should probably think about dinner soon.”
Logan hummed in acknowledgment and waved his hand over the light he’d been working on. It lit up dim and then slowly increased in power as he moved his hand. Perfect! Now that he’d figured it out, it would not take long to get the rest of the lights working properly. Then he’d just have to install them.
He was just about to shut off the first light when there was a soft knock at the door.
 “Patton,” Patton’s mom’s voice called.
Logan shared a panicked glance with Patton. “Just a second,” Patton called back. “I told her you were sick,” he whispered just loud enough for Logan to hear him.
Logan jumped into action. He shoved the unlit lights under his desk along with the books and lobbed the lit one towards the closet. It missed and bounced on the ground, but Patton seemed to get the idea and picked it up, handing it to Virgil. “Sorry, sorry,” Patton said to the boy. “Just be quiet please.”
Logan hurried over to his bed and pulled the covers up over himself. Patton was there in the next second tossing a cloth over his forehead; hopefully she wouldn’t notice that it was not wet.
 Then, Patton was zipping to the door. He glanced back at Logan when he got there who nodded, laying back. He pulled open the door. “Hi Mama!” Patton said cheerfully.
“I brought you boys up some dinner,” she said.
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” Patton said sweetly; for someone who always preached the virtues of truthfulness, he was an awfully good fibber. “I could have come down and gotten us something. I was actually thinking about it right before you knocked.”
“It was no trouble,” Patton’s mom said. “I brought chicken and noodle soup for Logan since he wasn’t feeling well.”
 She looked over at Logan and smiled. “How are you feeling, sweetie?” she asked.
“I’m doing better. Ms. Heart, thank you,” Logan said.
She pushed a small cart past Patton loaded with food then and brought it to his bedside. “I brought chicken and noodle soup, some bread and butter, and a few apples from the garden for you two. Do you want anything else?”
“No thank you, ma’am,” Logan said.
“This is great, Mama,” Patton said. “Thank you.” He seemed to be subtly angling to hurry her out of the door, but she did not leave right away.
“What did you two do today?” she asked.
 “I mostly slept,” Logan lied. “And I read a bit.”
“I mostly just read too and helped Logan out.”
She continued to talk to them for a few more agonizing minutes before standing to leave. “Are you staying with Logan again tonight, sweetie?” she asked.
“Uh huh,” Patton said. “If that’s okay.”
“Of course,” she said. “I’ll come check on you both in the morning.”
They both smiled and nodded as she left the room. Patton slumped against the bed when she was gone. “Hiding an assassin in your closet is stressful,” he said.
“Indeed,” Logan agreed, sitting up in bed.
 Patton got off the bed and went back over to the closet. “Sorry about that,” he said. Virgil was still sitting in the closet with the light in his lap. “But we have dinner! Want to come eat?”
He nodded immediately and crawled out of the closet. His bracelets vibrated slightly when he crossed the threshold and they shifted from the mode that let him move freely to the one that made him move slowly.
They split the dinner. Luckily, Patton’s mom always provided more than enough food so there was plenty for each of them. Virgil seemed content with all the food but seemed particularly fond of the apples. Between that and his reactions to the honey and pancakes, Logan wondered if he had a secret sweet tooth.
 After eating, Logan quickly finished up the other lights and worked on installing them as Patton went poking around in Logan’s other closet and drawers for something Virgil could wear for sleeping and possibly a change of clothing or two for future days.
“I’m going to go get some stuff from my room real quick,” Patton said once they’d found suitable clothing. He set the clothes in the closet next to the bed so Virgil could change in privacy later. “Will you two be okay?”
Logan hummed his assent, continuing to work on getting the lights in the exact right place.
 Once he was satisfied, he motioned Virgil over. “These are your lights,” he explained. “You can control them with this panel I set up.” He pointed to it and then flicked through the four preset light settings. “You can also customize how much brightness you wish to have by waving your hand over the panel slowly.” He demonstrated. “You should be able to reach it fairly easily with your right hand when you are laying down.”
Virgil nodded and then tilted his head up so he could look at the lights on the ceiling. Logan had set them to 25% intensity.
 “It’s the sky,” Virgil said awed.
Logan smiled, please that he’d noticed. “It isn’t completely accurate, but I did my best, at least with the brighter ones.” Virgil looked over at him and for the first time, Logan thought he didn’t see any fear in his eyes. “Is it adequate?”
“It’s great,” he breathed. After that brief moment of calm, he seemed to remember himself, growing wary once again. The contrast between his usual countenance and the one from the moment before inexplicably saddened Logan.
“You must have watched the night sky many times if you can recognize it in a glance,” Logan said.
 “Yeah,” Virgil said. “I did every night at the orphanage in the summer. There was a book on constellations that I found. I don’t remember them all, but I remember a few.”
“Which is your favorite?” Logan asked.
“I really liked the one of the Girl Who Sowed the Forest.”
“I made that one,” Logan said. He leaned over and fiddle with the panel a bit, causing most of the stars to dim except for a dozen.
Virgil smiled at it, and even held up a finger to trace the design of the girl with her basket.
“Do you know the myth behind that constellation?” Logan asked.
 Virgil shook his head.
“It’s about a young girl,” Logan began, “who lived in a town at the edge of a forest. Her exact age varies in the retellings, but usually she is somewhere between 10 and 12 years old. She loved the surrounding forest and would spend hours in it some days picking berries, watching animals, and just exploring. One day, there was a fire. In some stories, a group of soldiers came through and set it; in other’s it was a god who was angry at them. Yet, in most it was a member of the village who was careless and accidently set their village on fire during the night. The village burned down, and the fire spread to the forest. It killed most of the people in the village and burned for weeks. Eventually, it was put out by a rainstorm. The girl was taken by the surviving members of her village somewhere else to finish growing in a less baren place. Years passed until she hit adulthood. Her people sent young men and women on soul searching trips when they came of age. She did not mean to return to her old village and the still destroyed forest, but she stumbled upon it anyway. She looked upon the landscape that had once been her home. The land had not healed since she had left. It was still all ruined and it made her heart ache. She decided then and there that she would take it upon herself to heal what had been broken. She remembered from her childhood what plants and trees used to grow there and went and found seeds from other places and people and brought them back to her home. She spent the rest of her life living in a house she built in her old village, planting seeds, and helping the forest grow once again. By the time her life came to an end, the forest was returning. They say when the trees of that forest finally grew tall enough, years after her passing, they themselves placed her image in the sky.”
 “Wow,” Virgil said. “I didn’t know the myths were that complex.”
“I also enjoy watching the stars,” Logan said, “and constellations are good for navigation. I’ve found the stories people have made up about them more often than not are meant to help one navigate life.”
“Do you know others?” he asked tentatively.
“I do,” Logan confirmed. “Would you like to hear another?” He nodded, and Logan reached over to turn all of the stars back to 25%. “Which one would you like to hear about next?”
When Patton returned, he didn’t disturb their conversation. Instead he just sat down silently next to him and listened to Logan tell the stories.
 Virgil started to droop part way through the third story, and Patton suggested he lay down. He tucked the boy in as Logan continued the story. Eventually he fell asleep, face lit lightly by the hanging stars.
“Okay,” Patton said when Logan ended the story and Virgil still didn’t stir.” I think it’s probably time for us to go to bed too. Logan nodded and they both stood. Logan quietly shut the closet door and checked the binding spell around the closet’s exit to make sure it would hold. Then, he and Patton got ready to go to sleep themselves.
  Chapter 11
Over the course of the next three days of Virgil’s captivity, Virgil would come to the conclusion that his captors were idiots.
This thought flickered to life once again as Logan leaned into the closet to point out another constellation on the ceiling, tottering unstably on his knees as his weight shifted forward and distracted by his enthusiasm.
They were alone in the prince’s room. Patton had left only a few minutes before to help his mother in the kitchen (less because she needed help and more to not make her suspicious about why he’d spent so much time away in the last few days).
 He wouldn’t be back for a while and Virgil had full mobility in the closet. With Logan leaning over the threshold like that, it would be easy to kill him or even just incapacitate him. One rough yank on his arm would have him completely in the closet. Virgil had no question that he could pin him down so he couldn’t activate the restraints, and even if he managed to do so, he’d have been drawn close enough that Virgil could use his legs. He could either force him to take off the cuffs or, since they automatically went to the second setting when he left the closet, just deal with it until he managed to get away.
 It would just be so easy. Yet, he did not. He just watched Logan as he leaned stupidly over an assassin while info dumping about stars.
This was the first day that he hadn’t felt at all tired when he’d drank the provided nutrition and healing potion, though it had never affected him quite as much as it had the first day. Logan said that meant that his injuries must be healed. It was a weird feeling. He didn’t remember when the last time was that he wasn’t damaged in some way. Even before his grueling training, there’d always been bullies at the orphanage and he’d been the youngest and smallest in his age group.
 He was also more well rested and fed than he had been in as long as he could remember. He felt better then he knew was possible today, and he suspected that he would only feel better after a bit more time under their care.
He told himself that is why he didn’t lash out now. He was waiting until he was as strong as possible to make sure his escape went as well as it could, even if it was a risk. They’d mentioned that the king would be gone for three weeks. After he returned, Virgil would surely be turned over to people much more capable of actually keeping him well trapped and less likely to feed him well, give him a nice place to sleep, and leave him without injury. It was a gamble to stay, because it was possible that he wouldn’t find another opportunity in time and would get handed over to his fate. Really, if he was being reasonable, he should get out now while he felt good and had a secured opportunity.
 Still, he did not. He had not any of the times they’d given him the opportunity in the last few days. Logan finished his sentence and leaned back out of the closet to safety. He still was speaking though in that soft happy tone. Logan liked the stars. He liked to talk about the stars, and Virgil found he liked to listen to him. They tended to end up in this position whenever Patton was away, just talking as Virgil laid in his closet.
Eventually, Logan’s latest story tapered out. There was silence then for a few moments. Virgil stared up at the fake stars on the ceiling. The stars that Logan had made for him when he really did not have to. Virgil had not been expecting lights in the closet, let alone ones so beautiful and thoughtful. Not ones with stories behind them. Just days ago, if someone had told Virgil the prince would be keeping him in his closet for the next few weeks, Virgil wouldn’t have expected a blanket let alone all of this.
 He turned his head to look at Logan. “What?” Logan asked.
“Your magic’s very beautiful,” Virgil said.
Logan seemed pleased by the complement, lighting up almost as much as the stars he made. “Well, it’s just a basic light spell,” he said, “though I did make some adjustments to them and the dimmer was a bit more difficult. Anyone could do it with practice.”
Virgil shook his head. “They’re special, I think,” he said. “Your magic’s different than most people.”
“How so?” Logan asked curiously.
“It’s gentle,” he said. “Gentle and warm, like eating the warm soup you fed me a couple of days ago.”
 “And other people’s magic feels different?” he asked.
Virgil nodded. “I’ve met a lot of magic users, but it always felt bad. Usually it hurts or makes you feel sick or just makes you uncomfortable. Even healing magic always felt like bugs nibbling at my skin, but the potion you’ve been having me drink in the morning feels… safe. It doesn’t hurt or make me want to cry. It’s just good.”
“Magic often has much to do with the caster’s intentions,” Logan said.
“I think you could poison me gently.”
Logan made an odd expression. “That…” he said, nose scrunched. “That is a strange thing to say.”
Virgil cocked his head. “Is it?”
 “Yes!” Logan said, shaking his head. “You are far too comfortable with the concept of death for your age.”
“I’m fourteen,” Virgil argued. “That’s old enough to be sent on missions without a blood compulsion!”
“…A what?” Logan asked.
“A blood compulsion,” Virgil said. “You know, with a multrum.” Logan was frowning at him. “One works in your gardens and you’re a prince. You had to at least have seen one or two. They take a bit of blood and multrums process it into a little bead. Then you’ve got to do what your told or it hurts a lot.”
 “I know what a blood compulsion is,” Logan said. “I am simply wondering who would put one on a fourteen-year-old.”
“They don’t,” Virgil said. “They stop putting them on people when they turn fourteen.”
“And exactly what is the age range for it?” Logan asked. Virgil was almost startled by the way his tone was quickly hardening. He’d never heard him be that harsh even when he’d first woken up in his custody. It made Virgil tense up.
“They take kids usually when they’re about 8 and it’s a year of training before your sent on a mission so 9-13,” he said.
 “That’s horrible,” Logan spat so violently that Virgil flinched. Logan didn’t seem to notice. “They force children to kill under a blood compulsion?”
“Well, no one really wants to do it without one when they’re that little. They get scared, and usually try to chicken out so…”
“So, they torture them unless they kill someone.”
“I mean… it’s not. They have to agree to the deal.”
“And if they don’t agree to it?” Logan asked.
Virgil thought back to the second time they’d made him get a blood compulsion. It had been with the multrum before Janus, a girl by the name of Alina. He’d made the mistake of hesitating on his first kill and faced the consequences before finally giving in and doing the job. When the second mission had come around, Virgil hadn’t wanted to accept the blood compulsion.
 That had been the first time they’d made him drink a binding potion. Logan seemed to be able to get an idea about it by the look on his face.
“So, your options were to be tortured, be tortured in a different way, or murder someone.” Logan looked at him. “You said your fourteen. Have you ever even killed of your own volition?”
“I… no,” he admitted, but quickly added, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I know what I’m doing.”
“That explains a lot about your personality and reactions so far.”
Virgil rankled at that for some reason. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
 Logan just stared at him for a long moment. “What they did, what they are doing isn’t right you know?” he said.
Virgil blinked at him but said nothing. He became more and more uncomfortable in the silence that ensued.
“Would you like to learn more about magic?” he asked. “There are many uses other then to hurt. I can teach you a few basics if you like.”
Virgil was confused about the topic change but was relieved about it. “Uh,” he thought. “Sure. That would be… interesting.”
Logan smiled at him. “I’ll set up something and we can work with it in the next few days. What would you like to learn?”
“Um, I have no idea. What is there?”
Logan considered it for a moment. “We could do a hair color changing potion. Or perhaps a small protection charm or I can teach you to make fire shapes.”
 “Protection charm,” Virgil said without hesitation.
Logan gave him a sad smile. “Of course. I’ll start showing you how to make them tomorrow and we can actually make some the next day.”
“Okay,” Virgil agreed.
“Would you like to hear more about the stars?” he asked. Virgil nodded. He once again leaned into the closet to point and Virgil once again did not move to attack. Nor did he attack when that afternoon Patton turned his back on Virgil for far too long when they were alone. Nor did he when they settled him to bed once again in the closet. He told himself it was strategic, but he knew it wasn’t.
  Chapter 12
Logan had needed to spend some time performing royal duties today which left Patton and Virgil alone after breakfast. Patton had started out trying to teach Virgil different board games. He’d seemed intrigued at first, but after a few games of checkers seemed to grow bored. Patton had gotten a blank stare when he’d asked if Virgil had any ideas about what to do for fun, so now he was trying to figure out something else they could do. He cast his eyes around at what Logan had in his bedroom.
“How about I read you a book?” he suggested.
 Virgil seemed very intrigued by that idea. “Sure,” he said.
“Okay!” Patton said cheerfully. “He popped to his feet and glanced through the small shelf of fiction books Logan kept in his room. He decided to choose one of the lighter ones that Logan and he had liked to read when they were younger. “This one is called The Never-ending Garden,” Patton said. “It’s about a group of four children and their adventures in a garden. It’s full of magic and adventure and friendship! Is that alright with you?”
“It sounds good,” Virgil answered.
Patton happily walked back over to sit next to him. “It is!” he said.
 First, he showed Virgil the picture on the cover of a wild looking garden with four kids roaming through it. One of the children was in a little red wagon being pulled by another one wearing a fancy hat. One of the others was walking, looking at a map while the last had a wooden sword. After giving Virgil a couple of moments too look at the picture, Patton cracked it open.
“We start with Lydia’s perspective,” Patton said. “She’s one of my favorites!” He pointed to a picture of a girl in a raincoat at the beginning of the chapter and Virgil leaned slightly closer to see. Then, Patton cleared his voice.
 “It had been raining that day,” Patton began, “but Lydia had been so bored that she still begged her father to go out and play when the storm lightened into a sprinkle. He made her change from the yellow dress she had been wearing into the one she often used to help him garden because he knew she was certain to get herself muddy. Her younger brother Marcus asked if he could come too and though part of her wanted to say no because she wanted to explore on her own without her baby brother slowing her down, her father had taught her to be a good big sister, so she agreed to let him come.”
 Patton watched Virgil out of the corner of his eye as he read about Lydia meeting up with the neighbor boy, Al, and the three children started to explore the garden in Lydia’s backyard. Virgil leaned in slightly to look at the pictures and listen to the story intently as the three children traveled deeper and deeper into the garden, but never made it to the back fence. They’d just made it to the part where they heard rustling behind the blackberry bush which Patton knew was the last main character, Melly, when Patton felt the need to adjust his posture a bit. Virgil moved in kind and ended up leaning further into Patton.
 Without even really thinking about it, Patton brought his arm around to touch the top of his head. Virgil flinched the second Patton made content and Patton drew the hand away immediately. “Sorry,” he said with a wince. Patton was a naturally touching person and he’d been having trouble battling his instincts to cuddle everyone and everything while around Virgil, but he knew most touch was not welcome. The poor thing startled every time Patton went to touch him unannounced and even sometimes when he’d said something before doing it.
“I-it’s okay,” Virgil said.
Patton gave him a tight lipped smiled and turned back to the book.
 He stilled a second later when Virgil leaned back in and their shoulders brushed. He blinked over at him. “Oh,” he said softly. “Do… do you want me to touch your hair?”
Virgil curled up into himself a little bit but then nodded.
“Okay,” Patton said. “I’m going to put my arm around you and do that then, okay?” He drew upon his years and years of convincing easily startled cats to allow him to give them pats as he slowly moved his arm back to where it had been before and gently touched the side of his head. He tensed, but didn’t startle this time, and so Patton gently ran his fingers through the hair a couple of times. Eventually, the tension bled out of him and he sort of slumped against Patton’s shoulder. Patton just barely restrained a coo before going back to reading. He continued to stroke the side of Virgil’s hair as he described the gang meeting up with Melly and them being told she was a fairy that lived in the garden.
 He'd only gotten to the part about them finding the wagon when Virgil started to shift a bit uncomfortably, his neck craned in an awkward angle. Patton kept reading as he brought the hand in his hair down to his shoulder and pushed lightly. There was the slightest bit of resistance as Virgil didn’t know what he was trying to do, but then he allowed Patton to move him. Patton leaned back a bit and picked the book up off his lap before continuing to push him down. Virgil did not help at all, seeming confused about what was going on.
 Patton had to poke him around until he was on his back laying across Patton’s lap. He grinned down at the boy who was looking at him in blatant bewilderment and propped the book up on his chest. He held it there with one of his hands and stretched the other out to resume messing with his hair. Virgil relaxed into the new position after a few minutes of reading, eyes shutting as he enjoyed the attention. His eyes would flicker open every time Patton moved to show him a picture, but other than that, he seemed content to not move.
 Eventually, he stopped responding when Patton moved to show him the pictures.
“Are you asleep?” he asked quietly. When he didn’t get a response, he bookmarked the last picture Virgil had responded to, and then continued reading to himself.
Eventually, there was a knock at the door. It was the one he and Logan had decided on to tell the other one that it was just them and not to panic when the door opened. The door opened to Logan a moment later.
He paused, taking in the sight of the assassin sprawled across Patton’s lap like a sleepy kitten. He shook his head fondly and walked over to them on silent feet. He bent and pressed a hand to the top of Virgil’s hand. Virgil stirred just barely, but didn’t open his eyes, pressing into the touch a bit.
Logan smiled. “He wanted to learn how to make protection charms today. I assume you’d like to join us?” Patton perked up and nodded happily, making Logan chuckle softly. “I will go set it up then. Would you like another book for the time being?”
“Just the one I was reading last night would be nice,” Patton said.
“Of course.” Logan stepped away to grab it and handed it to him. Then, he disappeared into his potion’s lab. Patton smiled down at Virgil’s sleeping face and settled the new book onto his chest to replace the children’s book. He didn’t even stir.
  Chapter 13
Logan was able to quickly set up the station for making protection charms. Patton had always liked making them, though he often used his more as fun accessories than for protection. The one he was going to show Virgil how to make was a very simple low level one used for little more than to keep bugs off of yourself and, in the event of a well made one, alert one to imminent danger by changing temperature. It was a nice thing to hold in the middle of the night if one was frightened by real or imagined threats. It would be warm to the touch when your environment was safe; he thought Virgil might appreciate it.
 He and Patton decided to wait until Virgil woke up naturally which only took about 30 minutes. Then, Logan brought him to his set up supplies. He explained briefly the process for making a protection charm. “I will be the one performing the enchantment for today,” he told Virgil. “I will show you how to make your own later, but I thought seeing how to make them would help with the learning process.”
“Plus, it’s fun!” Patton said.
Logan flashed a smile at him. “And that as well. I’ve prepared a small number of possible pendants for you to choose from. You can choose the shape and color, then we will put on a custom engraving, as well as decorations.”
 “Glitter! Glitter! Glitter! Glitter!”
“Yes, Patton, everyone knows you’re going to choose glitter,” Logan said, amused, “but why don’t we let Virgil decide for his own pendant?”
“Fine,” Patton said, “but mine will be glitter.”
Logan grabbed the box of blank pendants and offered it to Virgil. “Choose whichever one feels right,” he suggested. Virgil moved forward and looked over the box. “You can touch them,” Logan said. “In fact, I would suggest it as it is meant to be held when it’s done and you may as well get a feel for it.”
At his prompting, Virgil did. He reached into the box and shifted a few to the side. Eventually, he started picking a few up. “I like the crescent shape for holding the most he said,” holding a blue one up, but I don’t know.”
“What’s your favorite color?” Patton asked.
“Oh, um,” he mumbled. “I dunno.”
“Well here,” Patton said, reaching for the box. He dug through it and pulled out every single crescent moon shaped pendant and lined them up. “What do you fancy?”
Virgil considered them all for a long moment and then tentatively pointed the purple one out.
“Great!” Patton said. “Then, we’ll use that one.”
Virgil nodded and Patton picked up the pendant to drop it into his hands. His fingers curled over the shape and he seemed satisfied by the choice, so Logan turned to Patton. “Your turn,” he said.
Patton happily grabbed out a heart shaped blue one, but then paused and exchanged it for a purple one. “We match!” he said.
Virgil smiled slightly at his enthusiasm, and Logan dug out a blue crescent moon shape for himself. “Now that you have your base, you get to choose the engraving.” He opened up the instruction book to the correct page and showed it to him.
Virgil looked over the two pages of designs with carful focus. He wavered between the spiral sun and the flames for a moment, but eventually settled on the flames. Patton chose the interlocking hearts design as anticipated; it was his favorite, and Logan chose the spiral sun design for himself.
“Now, I’m going to engrave this design onto yours,” Logan said getting out the thin pen like instrument and dipping it into the slightly glowing bottle of potion he’d set out. “In the meantime, Patton will show you what we have for decorations.”
He was careful to get the symbol as perfect as he could and then started on Patton’s. Patton apparently managed to corrupt the boy because both of them came back with brushes and glitter to add as decoration.
Logan shook his head and handed them their freshly engraved pendants. “Apply the glitter how you like,” Logan said, moving on to his own engraving. Once he was finished, he selected some glow in the dark paint to decorate his own.
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wickedgamesoyaoya · 3 years
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Congratulations on 1.2k!! You deserve every single follower and more 💛 however, I see your request but I’ll up you one- let’s see if you can figure out who I am 😈
May I request a male JJK and Haikyuu matchup
Strengths: Adaptable, Resourceful, Quick Witted
Weaknesses: Stubborn, impulsive, tad bit scatterbrained
My usual day: I either sleep 10 hours or 3, there’s no inbetween. I usually work out, have my coffee and some breakfast (and then probably forget to eat again until 10pm) and then proceed to procrastinate on my schoolwork until the last minute by scrolling through social media, singing and dancing along to my music while I clean (seeing a mess stresses me out unless it’s my organized mess) catching up on my anime/tv shows, or focusing on one of my hobbies (drawing, reading, writing, playing the piano). I work from home so tbh if I don’t have a job or school that day, my plans usually revolve around my mood. The only set schedule in my life is the fact that I somehow manage to end up at target 2x a week. Pre-pandemic though, every Friday and Saturday I’d usually end up going out with to a bar/restaurant/club/movies to catch up with a friend(s) but I hate driving and I “drive too fast”according to everyone so I just go with the flow when it comes to the place and time I leave/get home 🦑
What I want from a relationship: reliability (just someone you can depend on yk?), freedom (as in-we can both do our own thing without feeling like we’re holding the other back), playfulness? Ig? (Where it’s effortless and we don’t take life too seriously, we can joke about things as they come, type of thing)
What qualities I look for: loyal, caring (they don’t have to outwardly express it), thick skinned
Extra information: I mayhaps tend to not hold back if I don’t agree on something and i will not hesitate to put someone in their place no matter who they are (unless they’re family because trauma lol) but I’m also the type of person who has and will bring animals home (because they were strays, or they were ‘practically giving them away’) and I will seriously 🥺 my way into getting whatever I want, so I usually tend to gravitate towards guys who have the ability to be assholes, but not to me, unless they need to keep me in check (idk if this helps)
Who I don’t want to be paired with: don’t worry I’m not picky 😌
Again- congrats on 1.2k!! You deserve it!! I’m proud of you!! -🦈
𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑....
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✨ 𝙵𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚘 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚒✨
Okay okay, you might be thinking - HUUUH? But I have some real good reasons for picking this cutie!
First, since you’re scatterbrained sometimes, you need someone who will help keep you organized and on task! And Megumi has all the experience with that - look at who he’s surrounded by!
Second, your lifestyles strangely enough match. Due to the nature of his job, the amount of sleep he gets varies too. So it won’t just be you with the very bad sleeping schedule <3 yippie! Taking mid-day naps when you’re both super exhausted is 100% a thing. You never plan it, but you’ll get so comfortable snuggled against him – and BAM, it’s been three hours. Congrats, now you have a sleep hangover!
Your relationship with Megumi is one that is built on mutual trust. You both have your own lives and aspirations, which is fine! You are both supportive and understand that to be together doesn’t mean to be literally together 24/7.
OH, and at first let it be known that Megumi could not deal with your playful attitude. He was actually just confused, but he made it seem like he seriously could not stand you – oops. But then the more time he spent with you, the more you saw him loosening up. You started from a half smile and made your way up to a real laugh!!! CONGRATS G, you really unpeeled the onion <3
Overall, your relationship with him is one that no one will understand except you two (and me LMAO). No one gets your connection, but that’s because what you have with him is rare af!
You both are similar and yet so different. You both are adaptable, which is why you guys can deal with whatever obstacles come in your direction. But you’re the type to sing and dance while cleaning, and he’s the type to watch you with sparkles shimmering in his eyes.
MY POINT IS you both have every quality the other lacks or needs, and that’s what makes it work!
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𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑....
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✨ 𝙾𝚒𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚃𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚞 ✨
A relationship between you and Oikawa would be one for the books! 100%. I would LOVE to see it.
You both are stubborn, resourceful, quick witted and a bit scatterbrained. You both value your freedom and have similar interests. One may say you two are too similar, and I would agree in some respects. BUT I think since you are adaptable, you could make the relationship work.
Your relationship would be unexpected, to say the least. Neither of you were searching for a partner, and yet the fairies of fate had brought you two together!
Oikawa’s presence in your life would never be overbearing, since he respects your freedom. When he’s not playing volleyball, he’ll happily settle down beside you as you work from home! He just enjoys being able to catch glimpses of your face as you focus on your tasks! Oh, and when your attention shifts to cleaning?
He will be by your side, dancing along with you and probably singing into a spatula! He’ll always end up accidentally wooing you, because he’s a smooth little shit. But that means getting things done with him around is quite difficult!  
Your friends would absolutely love him too! When they first meet him they’ll probably be like.. oh pretty face, must be dumb af. BUT shocker shocker! Oikawa Tooru is not a big ol’ dummy and he’s quite smart. I mean he better be, to keep up with you!
Whenever you guys choose to go out drinking, he’ll usually be the one to stay sober, since he will nOT have you drive him. NOPE. He refuses. If he can’t handle it when he’s sober, he sure as hell will not handle it drunk!
Overall, your relationship would be one that is fun, and filled with banter. The two of you will be the one couple everyone finds hella amusing. But that means communication will not be a strong suit.
You guys will have some issues with communication, but thankfully that can be fixed! Since you’re not someone to hold back. He’ll need that from you, because sometimes he gets lost in his emotions!
And at the end of the day, it’s worth it ya know? Because he cares so much about you, and you two just kinda work! Who else would accept all the random animals that you bring home, anyway? 😉
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A/N: I honestly can’t guess BC I SUCK ;-; your uno reverse card got mee!! 
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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years
Text
Cottage Witch Journal Entry
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I have a longing for Tennessee. 
I have a pure, unadulterated and wild attraction to the Tennessee Mountains. This is a dream I’ve had, and a yearning I’ve felt, for years. A need to be hidden deep in the mountains in a tiny cottage/cabin of sorts. I’m sure this is an affinity very popular in mainstream culture today, and all I can think of when I hear people say they want a cottage or cabin in the mountains is, “How the Hell does everyone expect to FIT on these mountains?!” But, this is my Shadow Self, the over realistic and overthinking side of myself. And I easily get discouraged from my own wants thinking of others wants. 
This is a side of me to notice in myself. I need to be able to move past thoughts of, “If everyone wants it, I’ll never have it.” and move forward with thoughts of, “This is something I want for myself, and I deserve to work hard for it.” And that’s a goal I have with myself. 
You see, this post isn’t just about my want to be in Tennessee in the woods, it’s much deeper than that I feel. It’s about improvement and wanting to grow. 
I bring up Tennessee because that is not a goal I can easily obtain within a couple of weeks or even a month. But, it is something I want to build up to obtaining. Something I want to do right so that everything is exactly as it needs to be. And I can’t fully accomplish this until I accomplish other goals that take precedent first. For Example, my physical health.
As a witch, I truly believe in loving every part of yourself, the good and the bad. The exciting and the terrifying. The understood and the neglected. Part of this acceptance process is learning what is and is not acceptable for my body. Now, I have struggled with my weight and how I see myself since I was a child. I remember a little boy seeing my tummy in a bathing suit in 1st grade and him telling me I was fat and that his dad said fat girls were ugly. Comments like this, stares and whispers were constant when in regards to my weight. It felt like an overwhelming amount of attention was directed at the way I looked, even if no one was looking at me I felt as though everyone was thinking about it. Over the years, this mental state took a tole on a lot more than I expected, even affecting me today with my Significant Other. The consistent attention to my own weight pulled me into depression, our of depression, into anxiety and out of anxiety. What I mean is I had an up and down relationship with my tummy. 
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I felt abandoned most days. I would get this idea that I was too much and not enough all at once. A gentle and cooing tone from my toxic thoughts led to a lot of issues and concerns for me and my health. Some days, I would read something that made me feel as though I was a Queen. A bad bitch lurking in this cruel world and taking it by the throat to stare it in the eyes and say, “I love my body fat.” 
The sad part is your heart, mind and body know when you are lying to it. I didn’t love my body. Not in those confident moments and not in those depressed moments. I was locked away in a cage in my mind that gave me two illusions to choose from, while hiding my third option under the rug. I neglected my feelings because I didn’t want to experience them. I neglected my health because I didn’t want to deal with it. And I neglected my body because I hated it. 
Reality here is that this is the only fucking body I have. Do you understand that? Let me repeat this so maybe you can understand how harsh of a reality this was to me. 
I am on this Earth for goodness knows how long. 50 years, 20 years, 72 days. I don’t know, and no one does. I was literally forced into owning this body, whether I like it or not, it is mine. I can move houses, I can get a new car, I can get a new job. I cannot get a new body. 
I heard this in High School and started what I called my weight loss journey. I lost maybe 20 pounds while attending a workout-boot camp of sorts and trying to maintain a healthy diet. That sentence resonated so much with me that I repeated it every day to myself. My motivation was on point. Then, I stopped going. There are multiple reasons why I stopped, but none of them are rightful excuses.
I just stopped. 
Now, during those days I had lost weight, I was starting to gain confidence in myself and was attempting to genuinely look out for my health. I had more energy and felt amazing! But like I said, I had stopped for terrible reasons. 
Fast-forward to college and you will find a very anxiety filled, sleep deprived and mentally exhausted Carly. Some nights I wouldn’t sleep but for 4-5 hours. Other nights I didn’t sleep at all. I believe my stay up streak was 3, going on 4 nights. All due to homework. My coping technique has always been eating food, too. So when you have a sleep deprived student settled next to a 24/7 pizza joint with half baked cookies, you gain 30-40 pounds. 
At 245 Pounds, I was at my heaviest. This weight gain came on as my roommates were saying I was fat, stupid and were making me question myself frequently. Self hate festers among others who don’t value your worth, remember that. So, through those years of college I weighed an uncomfortable amount of weight that made my body start shutting down physically. 
Mental Health had a lot to do with my physical health, here as well. When I was in a really bad place, I would stop moving completely and just sit still. If I had a terrible feeling, I’d cook something to make myself feel better or would just grab a processed, quick snack. It was a pattern of mine. I’d get just enough motivation to do one or two things, and then I’d stop all together and feel as though that was enough for a few weeks. 
Eventually, when I was done with college, I started back on that rollercoaster of healthy and unhealthy. I’d lose 5 pounds, then gain 7 pounds right back. I started detail critiquing myself and stressing myself out. My weight never could get under control, and I couldn’t break the 200 mark to save my life. I would see pictures and videos of myself and feel as though I had eaten an entire buffet. Not too long after getting with my S/O and starting my job as a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate, I got sick.
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It started as a birthday dinner at a Korean Barbecue in 2019. I was with my two best friends at the time and having a blast. We all ate the same food, but when I woke up the following morning I was throwing up everything in my tummy. 
The throwing up went on for 4 days before I was taken to the hospital, only for them to release me saying it was virus. My personal doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong and it eventually became an everyday thing. I would wake up between 3-6 in the morning, go to the bathroom and be sick for hours before pulling myself together to make it to work. 
Weeks turned into months, and months turned into a year. 
I lost 50 pounds from this thing that no doctor could seem to figure out. I got x-rays and everything, but nothing and no one could tell me exactly what was going on with me. I couldn’t eat anything friend, only raw fruits and veggies, or broth. I only drank water and ginger based drinks, and could not for the life of me stop what was going on with my body. Many doctors tried to pass it as a virus, stomach ulcers, GURD, or even Heart Burn (?). None of them were right. 
After a long time, my mom finally confessed that every woman in our family has Endometriosis. If you don’t know what this is, it is the build up of scar tissue on the outside of your uterus. This leads to nausea, ovarian cysts (which they found on me in x-rays) and sub or infertility. No doctor can diagnose it, either, unless you have a surgery to see if there is scarring. So for many, suffering on your own is easier than seeing a doctor. 
I discussed this with my doctor, and it was as if a light flashed in her brain. This is a disease she cannot say I have, but can say it sounds very much like that. It is hereditary and once you have it, you have it for good.
After this information entered my line of though, I decided the stress from my job was too much for too little pay, and chose to leave. Leading up to my leaving the job, I was sick almost every second of every day. The moment I left, I felt better.
I still feel pain in my ovary area, but because I don’t have the money to see a doctor, and can control my pains with eating habits and physical influence, I choose to work through it alone. 
I said ALL THAT BACKGROUND BULLSHIT JUST TO SAY THIS!!!!!
This is the part that marks my new journey. It is the Journey to Strength and Well Being. The Journey to Feeling Good. The Journey the Choosing my happiness over anything else. And the Journey to choosing the health of my body over my insecurities.
I wrote this because a couple of days ago I had a very graphic and vivid dream about my boyfriend falling in love with the woman I wanted to be. In other words, I seen him with a woman who literally presented all of my insecurities to me. Small, lithe and dainty, gentle and calming, and everything I wasn’t. She was beautiful. And he seen this, and did things for her that he never did for me. I woke up almost in tears, because my emotions were raw, but I had no idea that my insecurities were still very deeply rooted. 
I pondered over the last few days of this dream. What it could mean, what I should do, how I should feel and I have finally come to a conclusion.
This dream is a depiction of my fears. My brain was saying, “You need to address this shit right now.” and did it in the most face slap kind of way I could think. 
I still, even after learning to love myself genuinely, have image issues that need to be nurtured and tended to before I can move forward in my life.
So, I’m making 1-3 goals every month that are attainable and reachable. This will be a brick road to my obtaining that cottage/cabin in the Tennessee Mountains. 
This months Goals start today! 
GOAL 1 -  Learn to do a split, find a healthy yoga sequence, be able to do 15 pushups, & 30 Squats by the end of December. 
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GOAL 2 - Make a conscious effort to what you eat/making a new dish once a week to try.
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GOAL 3 - Save $100.
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This is a process, and I am only human. I don’t want to fall back into the habits of toxic mentality. I don’t want to neglect myself or how I feel and I don’t want to lose myself in to the world in the process of searching for freedom from myself. 
I expect myself to exude self control, self love, and empowerment. I expect to expect better from and for myself, and I expect to accomplish my goals.
I manifest it here, I can do a split. I have a healthy maintainable yoga sequence that I have committed to growing expanding and changing. I can do 15 push ups and 30 squats. I have 100 dollars saved up already and make concious decisions that better my health rather than hurt it. This is part of my lifstyle now! 
And it is for the better!
Thank you to anyone who read this through. These entries are more for my benefit and thought process, but appreciate anyone who recognizes it or even relates and wants to talk about it. It’s personal to me and means a lot. I intend on being on here more often to update my challenges and express how I use my witchcraft in the process of this Journey.
I love you all! Stay safe, warm and full to the brim! Later Witches! xx
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vampyrly · 3 years
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: / i need any help and/or validation for a situation im dealing with
ok heads up this is going to be potentially very long to read and get through, like possibly 10 minutes at most but it is detailed and information heavy, i dont want to leave anything out
if anyone knows me/knows me on twitter and has seen my tweets where i've detailed the bullshit my roommate has done in the past you'll know i dont particularly like their presence based on their immature and gross antics. well ladies and gentlemen just when i thought they couldn't possibly sink any lower as a person, they pulled through the shit olympics and won gold.
my roommate has a cat, they had it prior to moving in and on their account the cat has been by their side 24/7. it is very attached and has most definitely developed a form of separation anxiety because of this. there hasnt been an issue with how often they stay with their cat up until recently... their girlfriend got her own apartment and over the past few months my rm has been staying with her 24/7. as in, is practically never in the apartment. they only come back to refill their cats food/water and is immediately out the door again. occasionally they will sleep overnight but after that they are back out the door.
as anyone who understands cats or animals in general would realize, this is essentially neglecting a cat, one you have gone from being with every day, to essentially never seeing. and this was not gradual, it was a damn near sudden change. you can probably imagine this is putting a lot of confusion and stress on the cat. over time, the cat has reacted more physically. they have become prone to crying by the door, biting the gf's toes, glaring at her (i guess), and such.
now, about a week ago, the cat had bitten my roommate incredibly hard to the point of drawing a lot of blood. apparently this was so traumatic to the rm that they now refuse to even be in the same room with the cat (there have only been a handful of times where they've slipped into the room to grab an essential and shimmy back out) so much so that they brought an air mattress, set it up in the living room, and is now temporarily sleeping there. no, im not joking.
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now im not going to go into detail about why this buildup from the cat occurred, i think it should be pretty obvious already why, but to my rm, they fully believe this behavior is aggressive and unusual. as in, this cat had malicious, negative intent to do harm on its owner. its owner which, up until months ago, they were so attached to and clearly loved. as a friend has pointed out, this isnt signaling aggression. this is signaling a need to get attention in any way possible. their own cat had scratched them up so bad to the point they almost had to go to the ER, but it wasnt because the cat was aggressive, it just thought it was playtime! the case is different here yes, because unlike my rm the friend actually takes care and gives attention to their cat, so this was a very rare occurrence. simply put, this cat is lacking so much stimulation, attention, and basic interaction that this, to me, felt like a last resort. because clearly, the constant cries of sadness wasnt doing anything for them. they're currently in the process of rehoming the cat and will permanently ditch it on the 28th. thats still another 5 fucking days of this cat being in these neglected conditions, and thats not counting when this started, which was 17th, 18th if were being generous on account of me misremembering the date of events because who can blame me so much has already happened its becoming difficult to keep track.
a cat that they up until this point loved and gave attention to as apparent by them claiming she is for emotional support, is being thrown out of their life without remorse over one instance of """aggression""" (dont make me explain why it wasnt again.)
my roommate knows full and well that they have every ability and every second on their hands to bring the cat with them to the gf's apartment but guess what? they simply choose not to do so! i guess those toes getting bitten was so traumatic because oh yeah may i add, the girlfriend is a massive enabler of the roommate and sees absolutely no issue to the actions they are taking in response. i doubt they even tried to properly warm the cat up to a person who is a newcomer to the relationship. im sure they both think in their heads that this is the most responsible thing they can do as pet owners and that they're such good people for rehoming a cat they cant take care of anymore. yes, nothing more responsible than neglecting an animal that needs social interaction as much as that one in particular is in dire need of. responsible pet owners would have never let it escalate to such a point, i'll have you know.
my roommate has done a lot of bullshit that has made me want to pull my hair out, but at the very least, it didnt involve a living creature. this however draws a line as i refuse to stand for animal neglect simply because im an outsider and have no direct say in the situation. i've taken as much action as i possibly can, phoning and texting and emailing as many people as i possibly can. i hesitate to say this is straight up animal abuse because as firm as i can be i try to give people the benefit of the doubt BUT. i will say that every single person i have relayed all of this info to thus far has told me that this is grounds for animal abuse.
yesterday i ran into my rm and they told me "heyyy sorry about her crying constantly, its just not possible for me to be in there whatsoever!" and when i asked if they have someone refilling the bowls and litter on their behalf they said "nope just me" ????????? simultaneously on the same day i said fuck it, i am going to break out the secret key i have to their room to check on the cat. yes i have a key to their room, i have never used it until now and if you want to ignore everything thus far to give me some shit about trust or whatever consider: i dont fucking care. as it turns out the food and water bowls are the type that automatically refill. so, hmmm. theres that part out of the way, but of course, you cannot put in a machine to automatically interact with a cat on the level of a human. as for the litter, i couldnt see since i didnt step more than a foot into the room as to not impede boundaries on the cat and i didnt want my roommate to suddenly come home to me knees deep in their shithole. it was probably in the closet but then how is that being cleaned? those automatic cleaning cat litter boxes dont come cheap and i know damn well they cannot afford one. and may i just add as a tidbit, the room has a sitting scent of pee. though seeing as how gross my roommate can get im betting its just them and not the cat. also that room was cold as fuck. were at 60-70s right now in terms of weather right now it does not need to be that cold......
here is a video i was able to capture. i mounted my phone on a monopod in order to get a scope of the room without stepping in too far.
i decided that the least i can do at the moment is to head out to dollar tree and get a toy or two so i can at least provide some amount of stimulation. before i left, i checked on her again.
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she was just laying there, keeping her distance, and didnt lurch at me whatsoever. i came back with a feather wand and played with her for a couple of minutes. she responded a little to it, but for the most part she was peering out the door wondering where the hell her so called responsible owner was. i took my sweater off and let the cat sniff it. i have zero relationship with this cat, infact its the first time i've ever properly seen it as it is locked in the bedroom 24/7.
now you may be asking yourself, why is this cat locked away in a room 24/7 like rapunzel locked in her tower and not roaming freely in the open apartment? i too would like an answer to this! i rarely spend any time in the living room but even if i did i have NO issue with it chilling in there.
someone i phoned did bring up a good point that for AS to consider a legitimate case of abuse or even do anything, there'd need to be no food or water. so essentially, unless you're straight up physically harming an animal outside of their headquarters they dont fucking care. want to be proven further on that? my rm actually did speak with AS at the start of bite-saga. surprisingly they werent 100% truthful, and, get a load of this, they told them that the cat potentially has a virus, and that they need to be quarantined the entire 2 week period. thats some lying bullshit if i've ever heard some!!! not only that, just a few hours ago i peeped the girlfriend had the vet get back to them about lending a muzzle!
SO. heres the current situation as of today and what will occur to tomorrow: i finally phoned someone who is going to drop by the apartment tomorrow, potentially with another person (these are not random people, im simply keeping their status as anonymous as possible to maintain their privacy) to check on the cats conditions. they'll also call AS again and nudge the rm in a way where it seems AS needs them to expedite the surrendering process sooner than later. i cant imagine another 5 days of this going on, but theres only so much that can be done that doesnt involve me straight up catknapping the poor thing and rehoming her myself. this is the condition of the cat as of a few hours ago:
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if i were someone uninvolved and saw this, i would have assumed she were a stray that broke into the room........
i try not to be petty and villainous, but a line has been crossed and the disgusting mistreatment of an innocent creature is a crime i refuse to allow be sweeped under the rug. if theres any benefit to living in a relatively small town, its that everyone knows or at least recognizes everyone. far too many people already get away with animal abuse, at the very least i can make as many people here as aware of their antics as i can. is that wrong to do? should i not air all that i can out about them? im so tired and exhausted. i've lost so much sleep over this and im probably going to lose a lot more. thanks for reading.
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arabellaflynn · 3 years
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For anyone who didn't catch it on other social media, I have finally moved out of the "temporary" apartment I was stuck in for 7 months, thanks to a lot of emotional and logistical support from friends, and a generous amount of financial support from the folks who gave to my GoFundMe. I am endlessly grateful to all of you, and if I weren't so goddamn tired right now I'd be more eloquent in saying so.
I've spent the past few weeks of unpacking and working out the bus routes around my new place trying to figure out how to explain what was so terrible about the last one. Most attempts devolved into page upon page of rage, which is not really what I want to be doing here. On the other hand, I also don't want to downplay how bad it was. 
Spoiler: The temp apartment was Very Very Bad.
The tl;dr is that I was offered someone's spare room on the condition that I help out a little extra with household chores and caring for their rats, because the pet owning roommate had recently had back surgery and was still mobility-impaired. What actually happened is that as soon as they realized I had any basic life skills whatsofuckingever, I was cornered into becoming the 24/7 on-call House Adult. I would have gone on strike, but the other two people in the apartment were so terrible at coping with absolutely any aspect of being alive that if I had, one or both of them would probably be dead now.
That is not hyperbole. I sat back at one point and realized that I had talked to 911 dispatch five times in the preceding four months. None of those calls were for me. To be clear, I ain't mad about other people having medical problems. All five of those calls were appropriate and necessary uses of emergency services. I just resent the hell out of being the default option for handling all of it, even though none of the medical emergency problems were mine, and there were other people in the house. Literally, Short Roommate had a catastrophic asthma attack one night, and when she was wheezing too hard to talk she passed the phone to Tall Roommate -- who immediately ran to the other end of the apartment, banged on my door, and handed the phone to me. It got to the point where I just told the operator what was up, went downstairs to unlock the door for EMS, stood in the corner answering the occasional question until they hauled someone off to the hospital, and then went right back to bed, because none of this was my problem. And that's just the 911 calls, not even counting the number of times I had to talk her down out of a dissociative episode, or any of the other shit I was not warned about and did not volunteer to do. They wore me down until my only response to "a fellow human can't breathe" is "fuck's sake, why am I even involved here".
They both needed a lot more, and a lot more professional, help than they could possibly have gotten out of a random civilian roommate. They both fought tooth and nail against actually getting any of it. Every time Short Roommate was dragged to the hospital, her discharge papers included a big fat packet full of social services, resources, and business cards for actual physical people to phone. I know this because whenever I cleaned the apartment, I found them on the fucking floor, whereupon I placed them on her fucking keyboard, and told her point-blank to call these people. As far as I know, she never did.
I am neither qualified nor equipped to be a live-in caregiver for anybody. There is a fucking reason I have never wanted children. I keep critters because if you give them food, water, toys, and boxes to sleep in, you can leave them to entertain themselves for hours while you work or sleep, and no one will arrest you.
There was a bunch of other stuff. Tall Roommate rarely if ever cleaned anything, including herself, unless directly ordered to do so and given a detailed list of instructions of what you meant by "clean". I only ever got her to wash her own damn dishes once, and I did it by messaging her from the other room 'I just found a mouse in the sink eating snacks off your dirty plates GO DO YOUR DISHES'. She had a laundry list of problems, but the relevant one here is that she was high-support-needs autistic with no support and zero inclination to find any. 
[Did I mention the mice? We had mice. All over. The rats murdered two of them when they got into the cages, looking for the free-feed bowl.]
Short Roommate clearly loved her rats but didn't actually do any of the rat care beyond petting and playing. One of them was tremendously sick at one point and needed meds q6h. She was supposed to be helping with that and didn't, which meant that I went several weeks on a maximum of six hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. I tore the fuck into her for that one, pointing out in exactly so many words that some of these meds were painkillers and if the rat didn't get them on time HE SUFFERS. Not doing any of the grunt work, Short Roommate evidently thought rats were so easy she should just keep getting more of them! She rescued two, one of whom was preggo, kept several of the babies, and started talking about waiting for one of the girls to grow up so she could breed him with one of her younger boys. 
Gentle Reader, I promise you the only reason I did not strangle her in her sleep that very night was that I knew, deep in my heart, that I could not move the body down two flights of stairs by myself, and if I left it up to Tall Roommate, the corpse would still be in the apartment today.
If I were inclined to any sympathy, it would have died when Short Roommate moved out to shack up with New Boyfriend and New Boyfriend's Mother. She initially took all the rats with her, which made them officially not my problem anymore, but I woke up one morning to a message that said something like "[New Boyfriend's Mother] says that if I show up to our new place with the rats she's not going to let me in, [Tall Roommate] is coming back with all the rats and everything they own". I found out later that this was because their new place was in section 8 housing, where you are not allowed to have pets that aren't service or support animals. Which Short Roommate had known the entire time, and just... made no plans for. At all. Unless "ignore everything until bitchslapped by reality, then panic and make unreasonable demands of other people" counts, I guess.
Eight rats. She dumped eight rats on me. Eight. I wound up taking care of them all without help; Tall Roommate was incapable of keeping anything in her habitat clean, including herself, and I wasn't willing to let her neglect animals. I was actually down to one rat of my own, having lost my two venerable old men, and was looking for a new friend or two for Tseng. Which I had to stop doing, because nine fucking rats is a lot of rats, and I couldn't in good conscience bring Rats nos. 10 & 11 into this shitshow. Naturally, none of the rats got along; two pairs of boys had to be kept apart, and both of them tried to pick fights with poor Tseng, and four of them were girls that had to be kept away from all of the boys for obvious reasons. It was exhausting and a catastrophe.
Once I had the rats she apparently made no further effort to re-home them, although she did keep telling Tall Roommate to come knock on my door and take pictures of them. (I put a stop to this. Tall Roommate did it because Short Roommate had broken up with her to shack up with New Boyfriend, and Tall Roommate had literally no way to cope with this other than try desperately to get her back.) I bugged her to do something about this until, predictably, I had to contact the local rat rescue people to find fosters less than a week before my moving crew was scheduled. When I told her, she replied "oh, I was just about to submit that". Sure you were. And while you're here, I have this nice bridge to sell you.
[The four girls and two youngest boys went to Mainely Rat Rescue. It looks like the boys have already found a home, but the girls are up for adoption. I kept the two old men, who both have special care needs; Garion has breathing problems that involve his own asthma inhaler and a steady diet of NSAIDs, and Errand has attitude problems that involve picking fights with any rat who isn't Garion. They're both just shy of three(!) and unlikely to find homes through a foster program, plus I'm already their third caretaker, so I couldn't send them off with a stranger. They are currently sulking because I wouldn't supplement their dinner with all of my dinner -- which is to say, they're fine.]
The point is, my brain just about died off. The only time in that apartment that I didn't spend cleaning up after three grown adults, two of whom weren't even me, were the weeks after Short Roommate moved out to shack up with New Boyfriend, which she had broken up with Tall Roommate to do, and Tall Roommate took it so badly she ended up inpatient before she ate a bottle of Tylenol. (I called 911 when I overheard her plans. It was about 50% "a fellow human is in need of help" and 50% "argh jesus fuck THIS IS NOT MY JOB please go talk to someone who is actually paid to deal with this".) I am slowly clawing my way back to the surface, so if you'll just bear with me, I'll be back on Twitch this Sunday 3-7 Eastern, and type out more things that have been on hold while I tried to retain at least some of my marbles.
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1048
survey by skiesofsunshine
What would you honestly do if you had a million dollars? Buy sushi and Airpods, give a chunk to my parents, donate another chunk to animal welfare NGOs, save the rest.
Do you pretend to be something you're not to make friends? Not to make friends, because it would be such a hassle if I actually ended up gaining friends from faking myself. But I do sometimes pretend, if it’ll make a certain interaction easier. “Fake it till you make it” isn’t a lie and I learned that more and more as I got older.
When was the last time someone disappointed you? Today.
Are you still in school? Nope, I got out of it just a little less than half a year ago.
Trigger warning for an item immediately below the cut.
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? [trigger warning] I mean I’ve said it before, but I don’t really plan on making it past 30 and I’m already 22. We’ll see if that changes down the road as I’m always open to hear good reasons to stay, anyway.
Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’ve been very shy for most of my life but I’ve become more and more outgoing in recent years. It still depends on who I am with though, and what their body language tells me.
How many hours of sleep per night do you usually get? 8-10, which is thankfully a healthy amount. I’m always left exhausted after work.
Would you rather listen to new music or the classics? There’s no reason for me to have a preference as I enjoy a good selection from both.
Can you do a cartwheel? Nope.
What does friendship mean to you in your life? Family and loyalty.
What is the closest yellow thing next to you? The lights that we have here on our rooftop.
Do you currently feel any sadness? It has been an ongoing wave for the last three months.
Are you more of an athlete or artist? I am seriously neither. I am not at all an athlete, but I guess that label is at least closer to who I am because I do play table tennis.
Is it hard for you to break the ice with new people? Depends on their personality. Some people may just prefer to be on the quiet side and that’s okay.
Do you judge people by groups or by individuals? I try not to at all?
What do you think was the stupidest movie ever created? I once read about the movie Birdemic and watched it out of curiosity. It was so stupid it was genuinely entertaining.
Who is your hero and why? I try not to have any. It’s nice to have inspirations, but I feel like labeling someone as hero would be a bit too much for me.
If you could be someone else for a week, who would it be? Me, from the beginning of the year. If it counts. I’d rather revisit older, happier versions of myself.
What do you want people to remember you for when you die? Somebody who was selfless. Idk, I don’t wish for too much. I just hope people think I am or was a good person.
Do you always respond to chain letters? Nope.
Would you rather text someone or call them? TEEEEEEEEEXT. I gotta say, I’m getting a lot more calls now that I’m working and I’ve been a little braver in answering them, but I do still hate them. I’d much rather text unless a situation is super complex or complicated that a call would be necessary.
What are you afraid of most? Giving up.
Do you spend too much time online? Kinda, but it’s necessary. I’m working from home so I have to keep my line open to stay connected to my co-workers 24/7.
Are you the type to procrastinate? This was mostly me as a student. I don’t want to fuck up at work, so if I have time to do something I get started on it immediately.
What is your biggest annoyance? Companies who have automated customer service chats. Sometimes I’ll have a very specific inquiry only to be greeted by a bunch of buttons to categories with already-given answers, and I end up never fixing my problem.
Do you use any drugs? Erm, nothing even mildly alarming, I guess.
Do you believe that you'll always be a kid at heart? For sure.
Are you currently in a relationship? No.
What do you like to do for fun? God I’ve taken an entire week to take this lol...work has me beat. I spend my days alone now, and I have the most fun and fulfillment when I take myself out for dates at coffee shops :) It lets me take surveys in an environment I’m comfortable with (other than my room), and I also get to look out the big windows and just reflect and be at peace for a few moments. I’m also getting more and more into embroidery and thankfully there’s loads of embroidery kits online that already come with templates and instructions.
Do you have a job? Yes. It’s normally incredibly hectic to the point that I can feel the burnout coming in even though I’ve only been in the role for a little more than a month. But with today being the second-to-the-last-day before our office closes for the holidays, so many people are on leave and I actually have time to continue this in the middle of the day.
Can you type without looking at the keyboard? That’s how I normally type. I haven’t had to look in like a decade now.
What is something you want to improve on this year? Kinda too late to ask this don’t you think? Hahaha. Uhm, I did a lot of growing this year, I’d say. Most of it forceful, but still necessary. I’m proud of myself for making it to the end. I really am. Mostly because I can remember how determined I was to leave just a few months ago. I grew a lot, and I’m proud. I wish other people have seen the growth too, because I’ve tried really hard.
Do you have any pets? Yeah, I have two dogs.
What is your dream car? A Mini Countryman or Clubman. I don’t really care which but I’d love to have either.
How many times a day do you get angry? Depends on how many mistakes I make at work.
If you could, would you want to stay young forever? It was great to have fewer things to worry about as a kid, but I enjoy the freedom and independence that come with being older a lot more.
Are the books better or worse than the movies? That’s usually the case, but of course it applies differently to all books/movies.
Are you afraid of the dark? No, but like I’ve said before it’s only scary if the darkness is meant to be an element of a bigger scary thing. Like if I’m in a haunted house and all the lights went out or something like that.
If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? Sushi.
Are you a racist person? No.
Do you ever feel like people use you? I try not to think about it.
Do you keep in contact with your friends during the summer? Back when I was in school and summer was still a thing, yeah.
What is your favorite month of the year? April.
Does bad grammar get on your nerves? Only if it’s from someone I dislike, hahahaha
If you were going to die right now, what would your last words be? I would be alone, so I’d rather go through it in silence.
Does Jeopardy make you feel dumb? Sometimes. Aw, this question made me sad because Alex Trebek :(
What is/was your worst subject in school? Chemistry.
Are you a sarcastic person? Eh, I can be. I don’t whip it out too often though.
What role does religion play in your life? It made me realize I should avoid having a religion.
Can you sleep with your eyes open? ???
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astrogone · 4 years
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                                             ANXIOUS MUNDAY MEME
@seekesotsibteadmist: What is something you want people to know right away about yourself?
PLEASE REMEMBER I AM EXTREMELY SLOW AT EVERYTHING!!!! I swear, there is a no apologizing for quick or late replies oocly and icly policy in this household because if you message me with an apology over that, you may get my response after a few days, if not a week, and I get so embarrassed like shdjsjd please, don’t be sorry at all. I get every reason behind any pace of the responses, so do not ever feel bad or anything replying to me too late or too quickly. Hell, you can take a whole damn MONTH to reply to me oocly or icly and I’ll still act like I would only be waiting for a day and be like “Ah! My friend! I love you”... But yeah, while I am easily distracted and exhausted to do this stuff, I usually have to reply back to ten to fifteen people oocly, and I will always have many people to reach out to when we haven’t interacted yet ( which if you haven’t interact to me yet, please, this is invitation that you can slap yourself in my IMs Now ), and my social energy / motivation to interact with people? It’s erratic as Hell. Also, I usually take way too much time replying to a post / message when it shouldn’t be the case. Like? For me to reply to a one paragraph in the thread will take me at least an hour to two. If you straight just say hi to me and ask how am I doing, it’ll take me at least five minutes to ten to just answer your very simple question.
I have an intellectual disability that gives me difficulties reading the given information, understanding them, and responding to them at a pace the average amount of people can do, but I can’t. The longest time you can get from me oocly is usually six days. Icly though? Boy, am I a lost cause with that. It can be anytime as I can reply to our thread for a month later, if not longer, I will have to let that be known, lmfao... But you’re more than welcome to give me a nudge for anything anytime. It may not get a quicker response from me anyway, knowing me, but just know that my silence towards you while I’m being noisy on dash or to others or such has nothing to do with you, ever. At least with oocly, I try to prioritize replying to people who I haven’t replied to the longest over those that I have done so recently, but I’m an absolute slow and low mess at everything, so! As that’s something I can never change, unfortunately, I can only wish that everyone interacting with me would be grateful for what we have already.
@sinisteraugurey: How much anxious internal screaming goes on with you on a regular basis?
It’s a 24/7 thing, man. I would just try to distract myself with whatever is in my way to block them, but, yeah, it just really be like that with me. Last night while I was trying to sleep, I kept staring at my window in concern because it had these shadows constantly moving behind the curtains, and there’s that small part of me that KNEW it’s just the tree branches that got caught in the lights of the streetlights, but, my mind kept telling me “they’re coming” and I was just constantly like,, “who tho,,, omg,,,,” but,, think about it,,,, I live in the sixth floor of a building, so how the Hell could the shadows reach up there?¿...
@vsentis & @arsonbeast​: What’s a tip you would give to people trying to get to know you?
Ask me questions from something simple like what’s my favourite colour to something over the top like how often do I get existential crisis lmfao even if it’s completely out of the blue or we don't know each other well yet, I wouldn’t ever mind answering them at all. As well if / whenever you are comfortable, talk about yourself as it will usually prompt me to do the same in return. I often don’t throw facts about myself to others because I think it would have others feel like they would be suddenly placed in a position of having to bring up information about themselves to me and I know not many people are comfortable to talk about themselves and / or their lives when they’re on this Hellsite to write and develop, which is totally understandable and I’m more than okay to be interacted with for just writing / plotting.
On a different note, I am planning to create a Carrd about my interests ( like what shows, music artists, etcetera I’m familiar with ) and slap it on my pinned post so it can give others a chance to get to know me more and bring them up to me to break down any tension from their end, so you can randomly pop into my DMs like “biTCH yOU WATCH B.UZZEED U.NSOLVED!?¡¿” and I’d be like “FUCK YE A H, I DO” and create chaos from there sndnsmd
@vsentis​: Is communication important to you?
Beyond important. I personally think communication is THE most important aspect in not just roleplaying, but in general. It’s what builds a strong relationship with the parties. The more they will interact with each other with a lot of patience and understanding, the higher chance that trust and comfort can be built stronger and tighter within a connection. Now, what do I have to say with me? I love talking to people, even when I’m a slow motherfucker at it and I get extremely frustrated and sad at the fact. I love when people talk to me and I can read about their days, personal projects, characters, so forth. I want people to feel that they can trust me and be comfortable coming to me for anything from a random chat to ranting / venting. Man, just straight up slap my DMs with a random photo of a forest and I’ll just not shut up about the time I nearly got lost in the forest.
Now, it does take time for me to reach out to people first, at least usually not because of IC related like plotting calls. For me to come to you randomly and talk about anything not roleplaying related? Again, I can’t be sure if people are comfortable with talking about themselves and their lives, but the more they come to me first for random ooc conversations, the more comfortable I will be to reach out to them first for so frequently. Another thing I do want to mention that if I do or say anything wrong or it’s making you uncomfortable, please? Reach out to me? I mean, I get that people aren’t obliged to teach others and whatnot, so do what you gotta do it the block and follow buttons to avoid wasting more energy and time, but it would truly help a lot with me and anyone else who I am / will interact with in the future. Just be honest with me and share your thoughts to me— I will listen and take them in mind. I absolutely hate to make people uncomfortable without knowing and I would be extremely appreciative if I was told why so I can be more considerate in the future.
@goldenornstein: Do random asks out of the blue upset you at all?
Not at all! In fact, I encourage sending me random asks! It might take a bit for me to reply like anything else, but I LOVE random asks! Makes me go “!!!” whenever I see a number on that mail symbol thingy. So, send me random memes, random thoughts, straight up just slap the word, P.ikachu, in the ask and send it to me and I’ll be like, “me fucking too, pal” jsjdkdk
@seekesotsibteadmist: What are some things you worry about in terms of new people?
I know I apologize for rambling or taking a long time to reply, but in the end, people being impatient or easily annoyed by me or whatever are my least worries. What I should be more concerned about but am somehow not is if this person actually holds good intentions with a good mindset. Even though I had my generosity taken advantage of way too many times by way too many people who I thought were really good friends in real life and online, I still? Somehow don’t ever think about the possibility that this person is actually very shitty when I interact with them as much as I should, considering how absolutely chaotic this site is. Being cautious is highly draining for me personally as I literally just want to vibe, so…
Just know that I take anyone in who my mutuals haven’t mentioned on their rules page ( yet if I do happen to interact with your abusers or people you’re not uncomfortable with because they’re doing / saying predatory / harmful things? Lemme know and I’ll instantly get out of their hair— you don't even need to give me an explanation, just don’t hesitate to say their URL and I’ll do my shit ), but I will instantly kick them off of my household the moment I see or learn anything from them that is predatory or harmful to people. If you do / say something that I don’t like, like misgender my muses or keep godmodding my muses or whatever, I’ll let you know how I feel, but if you’re gonna be stalking people, being disrespectful / abusive to anyone based on their genders, sexualities, ethnicities, disabilities, etcetera, write / make headcanons based those disgusting things we all know what, and so forth? I will hardblock and never look back, and that’s that.
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