#i read the book now i’m more mad lmao

[alicentes]

Show!DaisyCamila: “what’s going on with you and my HuSbAnD?!?” “He’s yours YoU wOn!1!”

Book!DaisyCamila: “Daisy, just know that I’m rooting for you. I want you to get clean, take of yourself… I want good things for you. I want you to be happy.” “Camila Dunne thought I was worth saving.” *sends each other love letters in 40 years time.. Cami keeps Daisy number in her nightstand*

#or i could have just written men writing women vs women writing women #daisy jones and the six #daisy x camila #camila dunne #i read the book now i’m more mad lmao #daisy and camila were not friends but they cared about and respected each other deeply as women even with the billy drama #also karen and eddie deserved their exact book ending (i thought maybe they gave eddie petes ending but nah everyone got a satisfying life #but the show made eddie a failed musician to make billy look good bc good forbid eddie be more successful careerwise #sidenote julia sleeping in daisys bed was so cute?? i would have loved to see it on screen

[vxntagedior]

can i request a poly!marauders x reader fic where they hurt her feelings or fuck up somehow and she’s SUPER stubborn and they have to grovel a shit ton to get her forgiveness and then they have makeup sex? i’m just not the immediate forgiver type and want to read something that reflects that lmao

forgive us?

summary | you're stubborn and they want to make it up to you

pairing | poly!marauders x fem!reader

warning | 18+ minors dni, smut [makeup sex, dom!reader, sub!james, remus & sirius, f oral, p in v, slight mommy kink, creampie, cum eating]

word count | 1.3k

From a young age you always thought that everyone had one chance, because in the real world there were no second chances. 

The boys knew that from the moment they met you, and promised that they would always have your trust.

Wrong. 

“How many times do we have to say sorry?” Sirius pleaded following you around the library, you hadn’t talked to them in days and each tried to get a word out of you but you were sticking your ground and keeping your mouth shut. 

Your steps halted as you came across the book you were looking for, your hand pulling Sirius’s eyes from you. Following the direction of your hand, seeing your book you needed was on a higher shelf, Sirius complied, grabbing the book for you. 

He was stunned when you pressed a kiss on his cheek before wandering off, fast enough so he wouldn’t follow you. 

It was a step in the right direction right?

-

James was panicking, they didn’t mean to miss the date you planned for them and now they were paying the price for it.

Hogsmeade was beautiful during the winter, the villagers hanging up lights on their stores, the snow constantly falling from the sky, having it be the perfect weather for butterbeers. 

It was the last Hogsmeade trip before Yule break and you wanted to see all of them before going home. 

You met them early that morning, making sure to meet you at Three Broomsticks at noon, each boy giving you their word before you left. It was around 11:50 when you arrived. You always liked to be early, getting a table that was facing the village but also under the heat so none of you would be shivering. 

Hearing the clock struck 12, you still gave them a little leeway, knowing they were usually a couple minutes late to everything, but eventually it was 12:15, 12:30 now 1:30 and they weren’t there. 

Madam Rosmata was kind enough to give you your butterbeer in the house, and gave you a lecture about how you shouldn’t wait for no man. 

The walk back to Hogwarts was cold, the castle was empty, only a few stragglers, ones who didn't go to Hogsmeade or came back early. 

Gryffindor’s common room was quiet when you entered. Taking a few more steps farther in, you heard a bang from above your head, looking up to see the bucket falling down to you. 

You scream feeling the slime cover, before hearing the sounds of cheering.  

“We got you!”

James was the first to come out, his happy face slowly turning into horor. “Oh, merlin!”

“You look beautiful today.” James whispered to you during class, you ignored him continuing to listen to Slughorn go over the potion you were about to make.

“Did you do something with your hair?” He tried again, twirling one the ends. 

“Mr. Potter!” James straightened up, turning his attention back to Professor Slughorn, “would you like to tell me what is in an antidote to Veritaserum?”

“I-uh…” James fumbled on his words. 

“10 points from Gryffindor.”

-

Remus had been avoiding you like the plague, if he saw you coming down the corridor, he’d walked the other way. He didn’t want to admit it, but Remus was scared of you when you got mad. 

You wouldn’t talk to them yet you would continue on like nothing happened. 

He felt stiff sitting next to you in the common room, you four of you were working on your own set of assignments, you and Remus on the couch, James on the chair with Sirius leaning his body against it. 

“Is there any way for you to forgive us?” Remus whispered to you, “We’ll do anything for your love.”

That sentence sparked a lightbulb in your head, you smirked to yourself before turning to look at him.

“Anything?” You asked. 

It was the first time you spoke to them since you came back from break, Sirius and James snapping their heads up to look at you. 

“C’mon.” You grabbed Remus’s hand, pulling him towards their room, James and Sirius following obediently behind you. They all stood in the center of the room waiting for you to make the next move. 

Their eyes were attached to your body as you started to undress, taking off every piece of your uniform before you were left in your bra and panties. 

Sirius gulped loudly when you sat on his bed, slowly spreading your legs, letting them see the wet patch on your panties. 

“C’mere Jamie.” You becockened, James scrambled towards you, sitting on his knees between your legs. “Such a good boy, go ahead baby.”

James moved your panties to the side, exposing your glistening cunt to him, his lips kissing along your inner thighs before coming to your clit giving it a light kiss. You groaned, gripping his hair, pulling him up to look at you.

“I didn't say tease me, did I?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“No, mommy, I’m sorry.” James dipped his head in embarrassment. 

Remus and Sirius stood and watched as James dipped in his head back between your thighs, licking up your arousal, making sure he didn’t miss anything. Sirius tried to hide the boner in his pants, cupping the tent of his pants. 

“You two.” You nodded, each boy came to your side. You gripped Sirius’s chin, “You gotta make it up to me baby.”

Neither of them said anything more, Sirius diving right to your neck, latching his lips around your skin, kissing the column on your neck. Remus pulled down the straps of your bra, seeing your perked nipples, pinching them before wrapping his lips around one. 

You moaned at the feeling of their mouths all over your body, collapsing onto the pillows, sitting up on your elbows to look. 

James’s lips continued to suck on your clit, as he pushed in another finger, starting to scissor the two. 

“I’m gonna cum, Jamie.” Those words were like magic to his eyes, continuing to lap up your clit along with picking up speed, feeling your clit start to twitch in his mouth. 

“Oh fuck!” You cried, Sirius pulled away from your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, swallowing your moans, letting his tongue meet yours. 

“Wanna fuck you.” James pleaded. “Please mommy.”

“I don’t know baby, you have to share with the other boys.” You smirked. Remus was more than eager to volunteer, coming up to the bed, pulling you into his lap while trying to push down his pants. 

James came up next to you and Remus, giving you a light kiss, before eyeing your tits. 

Sirius sat below you, sucking Remus while he waited. “You gonna put it in for me babe?” He nodded at your words, lining Remus towards your entrance, watching you sink down. 

“Fuck.” You leaned back, lifting your hips before slamming them back down on his cock, “Your cock feels so good Rem.”

The praise went straight to his cock, Remus trying to control himself to not cum so fast. His hands were on your tits, massaging them, slowing down your waist, when James started to kiss down your chest. 

Sirius continued to lick between Remus’s balls and your ass, feeling the weight of your ass press his forehead everytime you came down. 

With all the stimulation they gave you, you couldn’t hold it anymore, coming undone on Remus.

“Cum with me.” You whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss to the clear to his ear. “Fill me up!”

He was practically growling, his hands gripping on your waist, feeling you squeeze around him gave him that final push to cum. Sirius wasted no time, to lick up all the cum that leaked out of you, before continuing to eat you out. 

Your body was pressed against Remus, smoothing out the hair on James’s head. He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“I forgive you guys.” You hummed, “Who couldn’t after that.”

fin.

#poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x fem!reader #poly!marauders x girlfriend!reader #marauders x reader #james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x girlfriend!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x girlfriend!reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x girlfriend!reader #poly!marauders

[vintagepresley]

I don’t want to be this person. But I feel like that new Elvis confessions account on here is just a gateway for people to start drama and spew their hate for people in this fandom and how others choose to love Elvis or how they write about Elvis and to basically shove down our throats how to be an Elvis fan “the right way”.

I just saw one of their recent posts about basically the fandom not being the same and how people don’t care about him and how people used to talk about his music and movies. Now people in the fandom only care about writing smut about him and don’t even know his songs or movies. Then saying how calling him “big daddy” is disgusting.

Huh? What? I don’t know what part of the fandom this person is on but we are constantly talking about his music and movies. I feel like most of the people in this fandom have seen all of his movies. But also some can’t depending on where they live in the world so it could be harder for them to watch them. He’s got so much music to listen like you can’t be mad if EVERYONE hasn’t heard every single fucking song. There’s actually some people who just joined and are still learning. It’s not that serious. Stop acting like you weren’t once new to being an Elvis fan.

Why are we acting like people haven’t been writing so much smut stories about him since 2022? Before I even joined the fandom here I was literally reading soooo many smut stories about him around that time. I don’t think that’s changed. There’s so many different stories besides smut. If you don’t like smut guess what? DON’T READ IT BABE. Keep scrolling. There’s so much variety when it comes to Elvis fanfics. It’s not just smut.

Then onto the big daddy thing. That didn’t just become a thing. It’s been a thing for the past two years. How is it disgusting? Lmao. It’s never that serious and honestly no one is being disrespectful when they use that term. That man has big daddy energy. That is never a bad thing, lol.

I swear. People don’t know how to just enjoy things and not taking things so seriously and constantly complaining about literally everything. Why can’t people just enjoy things? I feel like I constantly speak up about this because I’m so tired of people telling people how they should love Elvis or how there’s a wrong and right way. I’m so tired of people making others feel like they don’t belong here. We all love and respect Elvis. We all love learning about him in every aspect of his life. So many of us do so much research and constantly read books on him because we DO see him more than just a “pretty face” more than just an “aesthetic”. He’s a huge part of our lives and we all in some way have a story about how he’s impacted us or what he’s done for us. Doesn’t mean we can’t joke about things or like make unhinged posts. Life doesn’t always have to be taken so seriously.

Lighten up. Elvis would be bothered by how uptight some of you are.

Thank you for coming to my Elvis ted talk. ☺️

#elvis presley #elvis #elvis fandom #elvis fans #start being kinder to each other in this fandom

[anonymous-dee]

The MC Who Cried Wolf

Summary: Glancing at your DDD, eyes fleeting between the newest messages and the demon before you, you couldn’t believe that no one was taking you seriously.

Considering the prank you had pulled merely a week or so ago, it wasn’t surprising. But if you had known the situation you were going to get yourself into at the time, you would never have pulled a prank like that.

Because now you were really in danger.

Notes: Hi guys! This fic alternates between the chatroom and prose, so there's a good amount of both! I promise the entire fic is not in shorthand!

ALSO! IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS FIRST AND DON'T CONTINUE IF YOU ARE UNCOMFY WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED VIBES!!!

Trigger Warnings: BLOOD, VIOLENCE, K*DNAPPING, SUS DEMON, ANGST W/ HAPPY ENDING, PANIC ATTACK, MC GETS HURT, GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS

~In the group chat~

Everyone is online.

(Y/N): Hey guys...

Mammon: Oi, human! Where have ya been? 

Satan: I do believe they went shopping earlier this morning. 

Asmo: Shopping? Without me? (Y/N)! You promised to take me with you next time!

Satan: Maybe it would be more productive of you to spend your allowance on something productive , like a book. 

Asmo: You act like I didn’t see you spending 1000 Grimm on cat supplies the other day! We don’t even own any cats!

Beel: Satan has a cat? Can I have a dog? 

Lucifer: Satan, are you hiding another stray cat from me again? If I find out that you’ve been keeping this a secret from me, there will be serious repercussions

Levi: Keep your cat away from Henry!!! 

Mammon: Oi, the human’s been real quiet don’t you think? (Y/N), wake up! 

Asmo: They did say they were shopping (without me). They’re probably not looking at their phone. 

Beel: I hope they’re buying some food. I’m getting hungry...

(Y/N): There’s someone coming closer

Levi: Lmaaao another lyric prank? We’re not gonna fall for that again lol. 

Satan: Did you not learn your lesson last time? Please don’t joke around like that again. 

Asmo: Sweetie, just hurry up and come home! I wanna see what you bought! 

Belphie: If you’re going to pull a prank, let’s do it on Lucifer instead. Not on the rest of us. 

Beel: Belphie, you’re awake?

Lucifer: Belphie. 

Satan: I agree with that one, Belphie. (Y/N), when are you planning on coming home? 

Mammon: Why do humans walk so frickin’ slow? It’s gonna take them forever to come back, so one of us should go pick them up from the store!

Lucifer: Why isn’t anyone with them? Did I not specify that they were to have an escort on them at all times? 

Levi: Don’t look at me! I didn’t even know they were going out! 

Asmo: I would have gone if (Y/N) invited me! 

Lucifer: Whatever. (Y/N), send me your location and I will head that way. Apparently all of my brothers are idiots. 

Asmo: So mean!

Mammon: I’m not an idiot! 

Lucifer: Silence. (Y/N), which store are you in?

.

.

.

Lucifer: (Y/N)? 

Levi: (Y/N) totally got weirded out from Lucifer’s scary energy rofl lmao 

Satan: It’s not hard to see how. Lucifer doesn’t know how to control himself when it comes to his temper. 

Beel: Is Lucifer angry?

Asmo: You’re one to talk, Satan! That’s why (Y/N) needs to spend more time with me instead of you OR Lucifer! Besides, who doesn’t want to spend time with the most handsome demon in all of the Devildom~?

Belphie: (Y/N), ignore Lucifer okay? If you send me your location I’ll have Beel come and get you. 

Beel: I’ll be happy to come pick you up, (Y/N). :)

Satan: Belphie, why are you offering for Beel to go get them? Why can’t you go yourself?

Belphie: sleepyzzzzzzzz...

Beel: Belphie nodded off to sleep again

(Y/N): He’s following me

Beel: (Y/N), we know it’s a prank. Hurry and cut it out before Lucifer gets mad again. 

Mammon: Beel is right! Just admit it’s a prank before Lucifer punishes ya again! I don’t even wanna think about what happened last time...

Asmo: I’ll take your place, (Y/N)! I’ll take all of Lucifer’s punishments~

Lucifer: Asmo, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me taking all of your skincare products for the rest of the week? 

Asmo: NEVERMIND! (Y/N) COME ON AND HURRY BACK HOME!

Lucifer: In all seriousness, (Y/N). Stop this nonsense at once. You can either return home or one of us will come and get you. 

(Y/N): I’m scared

Mammon: He’s not gonna do anything if ya come home right now! You’ll get to luck out on another punishment!

Beel: You have nothing to be afraid of, right? Lucifer won’t punish you if you’re coming home now. 

Levi: Just came back from grinding in Doki Doki Magical Girl Heart Cafe Dating Simulator 2... (Y/N) isn’t heading back yet? Oi, (Y/N)! You said you would be back before dinner so we could play in multiplayer mode!!! 

Satan: Again with the long titles... 

Levi: It’s a really good game, Satan! You normies wouldn’t understand the logistics of running a tycoon based game with an influx of regular NPC’s who have a plethora of different requests and--

Satan: We get it, Levi. 

Mammon: Does that game involve making money? 

Levi: Of course he shows up when the topic turns to money. YOU STILL OWE ME MY MONEY, YOU SCUMBAG!!!

Mammon: I don’t have the money right now! I can’t give you what I don’t have!

Levi: YOU PROBABLY WASTED IT ALL GAMBLING AT THE CASINO!!!

Mammon: It wasn’t a waste! I was about to hit the jackpot!! 

Levi: SURE YOU WERE, FRICKIN’ NORMIE. WORST OF THE WORST. ABSOLUTE TRASH. 

Beel: Don’t mind them, (Y/N). I’ll make sure no one is arguing when you get back. Is that why you’re avoiding the chat?

Beel: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): I’m onfdskhg

Lucifer: ?

Levi: ghdlgjfdsln 

Mammon: Sksksksskksks? Cha-ching? Money making machine? 

Belphie: Stop spamming the chat with gibberish. 

Satan: (Y/N), did your hand slip or something? 

Levi: I thought they might respond again if I keyboard smashed, but I guess I was wrong RIP

Asmo: (Y/N) Dearest, where has my darling (Y/N) gone? 

Mammon: Your darling? I was THEIR FIRST , ya know! Have some respect!

Satan: I checked their location status, but it was turned off. 

Beel: (Y/N), I think you’re taking this prank too far. Lucifer is already getting upset. 

Levi: They turned it off? Sounds like something they would do for the sake of a prank. Can we get an F in the chat for (Y/N)’s soul when they get back from this lololol?

Belphie: F

Beel: What does F mean?

Levi: Sigh, normies will never understand. 

Lucifer: (Y/N), why did you turn off your location services? Lord Diavolo told you to never turn it off, remember? Are you going against his word? 

Belphie: It’s always about Lord Diavolo, isn’t it? 

Lucifer: Belphegor, hush. (Y/N), you understand why we keep it on, right? It’s for your safety. Turn it back on so we can see where you are. 

Satan: I mean, if I found out that Lucifer was stalking my location 24/7 I would turn it off in a heartbeat. Just saying. 

Asmo: (Y/N)~! Just tell us where you ran off to~! I promise Luci-chan won’t be mad at you!

Lucifer: Don’t make promises for me. And don’t call me that. 

Outside of the chat, you were on the verge of giving up your cry for help. You wanted to be subtle about it; sending short, quick messages was the easiest way to NOT draw the creep’s attention. 

You had resorted to sending quick messages with one hand, the other latched firmly on the buttons trailing down from your shirt collar. Your eyes peered at the demon before you as you took a few steps back. 

“Why don’t we talk outside?” asked the demon. “This clothes shop must be boring for a little human like yourself. I can treat you to much better than this ol’ thrift store.” As he spoke, he waved a clawed hand over his head, gesturing to the little clothing store you had stepped inside. 

You were farther from the House of Lamentation than you felt comfortable with. It was on the far side of the downtown area. 

I knew I shouldn’t have come here alone, but sometimes I want to shop by myself! You thought, your back thumping against a rack of clothes. 

Glancing at your phone, eyes fleeting between the newest messages and the demon before you, you couldn’t believe that no one was taking you seriously. 

Considering the prank you had pulled merely a week or so ago, it wasn’t surprising. But if you had known the situation you were going to get yourself into at the time, you would never have pulled a prank like that. 

“No thank you." (Y/N) couldn’t back up any further. “I’m actually about to head back home.” 

“Where do you live? Surely an attractive human like yourself doesn’t live around these parts. It’s dangerous around here for a frail human.” As the demon said this, he licked his lips and eyed you up and down. 

You didn’t know what to say. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and anxiety was making your legs shake. 

Wait! My pact! 

“Hear me, denizens of the darkness, you who are born of shadow and--” Before you could finish the spell, (apparently the demon realized what you were up to), the demon quickly grabbed your wrist and yanked you forward. 

“Not another word! Now let’s go!” In the process, you dropped your phone.

You lamented over the abandoned DDD as the demon began to pull you away. Apparently the demon noticed this, and chose to turn around. He didn’t loosen his grasp on your wrist as he pocketed the device and hurried out of the thrift shop with you in tow. 

~In the group chat~

Beel: I’m hungry. Who’s turn is it to cook again? 

Satan: It was (Y/N)’s turn, but it’s already starting to get late. Are they not home yet? 

Beel: Nobody was in the kitchen when I went there to get a snack. 

Asmo: Eating a snack right before dinner isn’t healthy! Anyways, (Y/N)’s probably on their way back! When I come back from shopping, my arms are always full of bags so I can never text!

Levi: Typical Asmo. (Y/N), can you hurry up and come home? We already missed the multiplayer event on Doki Doki Magical Girl Heart Cafe Dating Simulator 2, but we can still make the final episode premiere of My girlfriend was turned into a witch but now she doesn’t know how to control her powers and I think she started the apocalypse so now I have to fix it! season 2. 

Satan: I don’t even want to know.

Mammon: I don’t understand what Levi said at all!

Levi: You all suck!

Lucifer: I called (Y/N), but they didn’t answer. Has anyone heard from them since they tried to prank us earlier? 

Beel: I haven’t heard anything. 

Belphie: I dozed off but haven’t gotten any messages from them. 

Asmo: Like I said, they’re probably carrying a bunch of stuff!

Lucifer: I would hope not. They forgot their wallet at home. 

Levi: ?!

Asmo: ?!

Satan: ?!

Mammon: >:)

Lucifer: Mammon. 

Mammon: JUST KIDDING!

Beel: I’m starting to get worried. Why won’t they answer their calls? 

Belphie: Maybe their phone is dead and they got lost?

Mammon: Wouldn’t they use one of their pacts? 

Levi: Hold up, Mammon actually has a point for once. If they were lost, they would definitely summon one of us to take them back home. 

Lucifer: I will go out to the shopping area and search for them. Maybe they panicked and forgot about our pacts. 

Levi: It’s unlikely they forgot, it’s drilled into their head almost everyday at RAD lmao. 

Satan: Our pacts are really important to them. They wouldn’t just forget about them. Maybe they would forget about YOURS, Lucifer. But definitely not MINE. 

Lucifer: I will ignore your remark for the time being until I get back, Satan. I will keep the chat updated if I find them. 

Outside of the chat...

The nameless demon brought you to his home, which looked more like a sewer than a house, but nevertheless... 

You tried summoning your pacts several times, to which the demon finally got fed up and tied a cloth around your mouth to prevent you from speaking. 

With your mouth, hands, and ankles tied, you could do nothing but sit on the floor (and occasionally wriggle to try and escape your restraints). 

Apparently, this demon was very talented in tying ropes and the like, so it didn’t seem like you would be getting out any time soon. 

The brothers don’t know where I am... Will they ever find me? Will he keep me trapped here until I die? You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the worst possible scenario. Usually one of the brothers was with you to prevent a situation like this from happening in the first place. 

I’M SO STUPID! I should have invited Asmo or Mammon to come along with me...’ Tears welled up in your eyes, and without any way to wipe them, they strolled down your cheeks. 

The demon seemed to appreciate the horrific gesture. 

“Those tears of yours look tasty.” Yanking you up by the collar, the demon licked the stream of tears protruding from your eyes before tossing you back to the ground. “I want to make you cry for me even more.” 

Your stomach sank, and a cold chill shivered down your spine. 

The demon grinned and kicked you in the ribs with a terrifying speed. One kick. Two kicks. Three. Four. 

As each blow knocked the wind out of you, you couldn’t help but whimper from the pain. You also knew that would probably lead him on further, but how could you help it? After the demon’s assault had seemingly finished, he decided to take a break for the time being. 

“You really wear me out, human!” Grinning from ear to ear, he ruffled the top of your head as if he didn’t just land several blows to your midsection. 

His soft grip, however, soon turned into a tight yank, and you were dragged across the floor by your hair towards the other end of the room. The demon stomped on a particular switch, from which an underground passage emerged from two of the floor panels. 

“Aight, I’ll be back later. Have fun, okay?” Without warning, the demon let go of your hair, allowing you to tumble down the concrete staircase with no way for you to brace yourself. 

Against the cold concrete floor, you ached in pain from the concussion you had most likely endured, among other injuries from your tumble. 

~~~

Several hours into the night, the House of Lamentation had heard nothing back from their beloved human. 

Lord Diavolo had already been made aware of the issue as soon as it began to get dark, and currently had three search parties deployed. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll have them back safe and sound,” Diavolo had said, although now those words sounded like false hope. 

“This better not be a joke.” Of course, Lucifer was locked up in his room, hands clenched under his chin as he rested his elbows on the coffee table. He was deep in thought, wondering where you could have run off to. 

However, a quick series of knocks tore him from his train of thought, and he stepped over towards the door to see who was asking for him at this hour. He rolled his eyes as he opened the door and found Mammon on the other side. 

“You will not be using this chaos to get ahold of my credit card.” 

However, when Mammon said nothing, Lucifer took a closer look at his younger brother.  It appeared as though the second born hadn’t registered a single word Lucifer had said. 

Mammon’s chest heaved up and down, his hands barely gripping onto his DDD. 

“L-Lucif..Lu...er.” Through jagged, shaking breaths, Mammon looked up into Lucifer’s eyes with a wide, scared expression. It had been a very, very long time since Mammon had come to Lucifer looking this disheveled. 

“Mammon?” Lucifer pulled Mammon into his room and shut the door behind him. “What has gotten into you?” His tone came out more worried than he had intended. 

“Luc...Luci..” Unable to control his breathing, Mammon choked on air, and a crackled sob forced its way out of his mouth along with several tears. 

He shook his head, as if trying to erase something from his memory. 

Lucifer was almost unsure of what to do. He was not the best demon at comforting people... Why didn’t he go to someone like Asmo? Or Beel? 

“Tell me what happened,” said Lucifer. 

“I- It,” sniffle, “I, I s-saw them,” involuntary sob, “th-they, Lucif... you, and...” as Mammon’s words flowed together with the sounds of his panic attack, Lucifer realized that he was not going to get an answer this way. 

“You saw them? Who? (Y/N)?” Lucifer shook Mammon’s shoulders, as if doing so would snap him out of it. 

“I cou-couldn’t! T-They!” Mammon broke down into tears again, and if Lucifer hadn’t been gripping his shoulders he would have crumpled to the floor.  

Lucifer felt all of Mammon’s weight begin to fall into his grasp, and he lowered him down to the floor. 

“Mammon. I need you to look at me,” Lucifer’s voice was unusually soft, as he only ever used this tone of voice with you. 

Mammon looked up at him, DDD momentarily forgotten next to him on the floor. 

“Whatever has happened, I will take care of it. Do you understand? You are not in trouble.” A rare statement indeed from the Avatar of Pride, but right now he needed information. And he needed Mammon to stop panicking. 

Mammon clenched his eyes shut, gripping onto Lucifer’s shirt and burying his face into his brother’s chest. His own chest still heaved up and down, as he was unable to control the breaths that forced their way in and out of his lungs. 

With a shaky hand, Mammon grabbed the DDD from the floor and slapped it into Lucifer’s palm. 

“Your DDD? What about it? I don’t understand.” Lucifer pushed Mammon back and stared into his reddening and swollen eyes, as if they had the answers to why Mammon was acting like this. 

“I-I was... I was sleepin’, and...” Through ragged breaths, Mammon tried his best to explain what had happened, “...and a-and... a call, and (Y/N), and they were there! AND SOMEONE ELSE WAS THERE, AND I COULDN’T SEE THEM AND THEY CALLED FOR ME AND I-” He broke down again into Lucifer’s arms. 

“(Y/N)? You talked to (Y/N)?” 

“Somethin’ happened... somethin’ bad... t-they were bleedin’ and they couldn’t call for us...” Mammon mumbled, the mere frustration of the situation overwhelming his very soul. 

Lucifer said nothing as Mammon’s story began to process in his head. 

“They... They were there... and these demons were hurting them...” he continued. “They laughed at us.” 

Looking up at Lucifer like a small child separated from his mother at a grocery store, Mammon cried, “Please, help them.” 

Lucifer glanced down at Mammon’s DDD. When he unlocked the screen, the first image that appeared before him was a screenshot of a recent DevilTime video call. 

As he peered at the image before him, Lucifer felt as though someone had stabbed him directly in the chest. 

You were in the image, your face badly beaten and bruised. Your eyes were swollen (most likely from crying) and there was a demon holding you up by your hair. 

The demon’s face was partially cut out of the picture, but still within the frame. 

~In the group chat~

Lucifer: We fucked up. 

Levi: Huh? What do you mean? 

Satan: Did you hear back from (Y/N) yet? What do you mean we fucked up? 

Belphie: Beel just woke me up... Did (Y/N) come back? 

Lucifer: Levi, I am going to send you an image, and I want you to find the location where it was recorded. 

Levi: ? 

Levi: Oh, I just got something. Lemme check... 

Beel: An image? 

Satan: I’m guessing someone saw them? That’s a relief. 

Levi: Lucifer, this... 

Lucifer: I know. Please, Leviathan. 

Belphie: Since when does Lucifer say ‘please’? 

Levi: It will take some time for me to pull up the coordinates. 

Mammon: Levi, 

Mammon: Hurry. Please. 

Levi: typingwithonehand, i’mgoingasfastasican!

Belphie: Don’t tell me (Y/N) is in danger...

Satan: Mammon, is that true? 

Mammon: ...

Satan: MAMMON, TELL ME. 

Mammon: We fucked up. 

Satan: WHERE ARE THEY? LEVI, DID YOU FIND THEM YET? HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO DAMN STUPID?

Belphie: Someone is going to die tonight. 

Beel: We should have listened to them, even though we thought it was a prank...

Levi: *coordinates sent* I have the coordinates. I can assume we’re all going to go? 

Belphie: Fuck yes. I’m going to tear the limbs off of the demon who took our precious human. 

Satan: I’ll torture them slowly and painfully. 

Asmo: We found (Y/N)? I’m coming! This is slightly more important than my beauty sleep!

Beel: I’m already waiting in the foyer. 

Lucifer: Mammon, will you be joining us as well? 

Mammon: ... Ye. The Great Mammon has to teach these guys a valuable lesson. 

Outside of the chat...

You groaned as the evil demon dug his claw into your side, tearing a sharp bloody line across your flesh. 

“I’m starting to get a bit hungry, ya know? These small dollops of human blood aren't’ doing it for me anymore.” The demon licked the blood that was dripping down your waist. “I’m so tempted to just take a bite!” 

Licking his lips, the demon added: “Human blood is the best! It’s so damn sweet!” 

At this point, the fear that you felt had started to make your senses go numb. Of course, every attack was excruciatingly painful, but it was as if the max amount of terror had been met long ago. 

That’s it... Nobody is going to come for me... I’m going to die here. You thought, submitting yourself to another set of fresh tears. Considering how dehydrated you were, you were surprised you could shed them at all. At least I got to see Mammon before I die... I must have spooked him, though... 

“Who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” The sound of various familiar voices jostled you from your thoughts of death, and you opened your eyes to find your seven saviors standing before you. 

Mammon tackled you in the biggest hug he had ever given anyone. 

“(Y/N)...” He sobbed into your shoulder, forgetting to remove the restraints beforehand. “(Y/N), you’re okay.” 

You chuckled softly. The hug pushed up against your various cuts and bruises, but you were thankful nonetheless. You nodded weakly, your body gaining a growing sense of heaviness as the seconds marched forward. 

“Take their restraints off first, idiot!” Asmo’s voice wailed from behind them. 

The Avatar of Lust gently removed the magic ties from your mouth, wrists, and ankles. 

“Oh dear, your beautiful skin...” Asmo ran a finger across some of the exposed bruises lining your arm. “I’m so sorry...” 

The sounds of torture echoing through the room made your skin crawl, and goosebumps formed on the back of your neck. Satan, Belphie, and Lucifer had surprisingly teamed up to take on the kidnapper. 

Of course, the trio were three of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. There was no issue in terms of strength, but as for how long they could keep him alive before they could force him to endure a slow and painful death, that was another story... 

“Here...” Beel sat next to you, a bottle of water in hand. “Drink some. It has electrolytes so your strength can come back.” 

Pressing the tip of the bottle against your lips, he looked a little relieved when you began to drink the liquid. 

“Ah... thank you Beel.” Your voice was so fragile and quiet that Beel wanted to cry. How long had you been screaming for your voice to end up like this? 

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. We didn’t know...” 

You shook your head slightly, the mere action making you dizzy (probably from the concussion). 

Levi was awkwardly standing off to the side, unsure of what to say. He too had been a part of the masses; he too had failed you. Would you even consider him a friend after this? It would make sense. 

Finally, the screams of torture were put to a halt as the kidnapper demon passed out. 

“We aren’t done with him yet,” Belphie said, “but for now, we’ll leave him tied up here so Barbatos can teleport him to the torture chambers.” 

The rest of the brothers accepted this without question. 

Lucifer, having gotten most if not all of the anger out of his system, felt hollow. Slowly stepping over to you, he bent down to one knee. One of his gloved hands tilted your chin upwards so that the two of you were able to lock eyes. 

He noticed the bruises. The scratches. The injuries. The blood seeping from your shirt on your right side. 

“I’m truly and deeply sorry.” Lucifer looked down, as if bowing down to you. “I will not ask for your forgiveness. We have failed you.” 

You shook your head, a rough set of coughs erupting from your core and sending the vertigo back into motion. 

“Thank you... for rescuing me...” Your words were as fragile as a thin piece of glass, and it shattered Lucifer’s heart. 

“You’re safe now, (Y/N). I promise.” 

#obey me fanfic #obey me/reader #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me hurt/comfort #obey me angst #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me beelzebub #obey me levi #obey me asmodeus

[chaoticbardlady99]

She’s My Religion (Part 2: She Needs This Love Just as Much as Me) Astarion x F! Reader

Author note- totally not sure how I feel about this, but here we go! I hope someone enjoys this lmao.

I’m really tired and so this has been edited once and I’ll add the link for part 1 later. If you asked to be on my tag list- I am going to be adding you tomorrow simply because I can barely keep my eyes open right now.

CW: Domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mentions of torture, violence, angst.

Picture does not belong to me and is not mine. I cannot for the life of me remember where I got it so I apologize in advance.

“You’ve been doing WHAT!?”

Astarion sits staring at the forest with his head hung with guilt and shame. Shadowheart sounds furious with him and admittedly, Astarion is also raving mad at himself.

Astarion miscalculated terribly- his plan was completely, utterly doomed from the start. Shadowheart is pacing back and forth in front of him- reading him the right act.

Astarion is zoning out as Shadowheart goes on and on saying all the things he’s already said to himself- he begins to drift to the first time he had ever met you about three years ago.

Astarion had been in solitary confinement for what had felt like forever when Cazador let him out. It was probably the only time Cazador had looked somewhat close to nervous with some sick twisted affection behind his eyes. He simply told Astarion he was to accompany you around the grounds and that you needed to be treated with respect. Your step-father did not want you to be present after dinner.

“You are allowed to take her to do what she wants- within reason. Do not let her leave the mansion grounds and make sure she is content,” Cazador said stiffly, “I am trusting you, boy. You know the consequences if you step out of line.”

Later, before you had arrived, Dalyria had made him privy to you and your… temperaments. Astarion relished in knowing you made a fool out of Petras. Someone needed to give the prick a wake up call.

It was also, supposedly, no secret to anyone in your family that you are the one Cazador wishes to marry, but due to your lack of royal blood, it would ruin his alliance with the Von family entirely. So Cazador is stuck with a woman named Daisy Von (who he cannot stand) and Astarion felt like it was the perfect karma for Cazador- the one time he wants something or someone, he absolutely cannot have it.

You were (still are) wildly different from your obnoxious step-sisters and step-brothers.

“Wild.”

“Rebellious.”

“Boorish.”

“Trouble maker.”

It was all this annoying group of people could seem to talk about- how terrible and horrible you were. What a disappointment. What a nuisance.

Dalyria told him beforehand that this was the norm and that it really only gets more embarrassing for them every time. You were kind, headstrong, ambitious, and beautiful according to Dalyria- when she had stepped in for Petras that night at the last minute, you had treated her like a person. You had asked her about herself, engaged in her hobbies by asking questions, and you had made a point of showing her all the medical books in Bridril Von’s library (you even let her take one, Bridril never goes in the library). Astarion had just stared at her in disbelief- she had to be playing a trick on him.

You stood on the farthest end next to the youngest girl and Bridril had scowled so aggressively, Astarion thought his face may cave in on itself. You are far more captivating than any of Bridril’s children could ever wish to be. No wonder Cazador wants you so badly that he’s willing to do anything to make sure you come over with them or that you show up for dinner at your own home- undeterred by the inability to actually make a proposal for your hand.

You looked positively irritated everytime Daisy opened her mouth and he was too. The woman is dense and over-the-top. Dinner had been awkward and you had barely even touched your food, but drank three goblets of wine- every time Bridril leered at you for getting another glass, a sly smirk would cross your lips. Your own silent rebellion.

Your demeanor and attitude resembled that of a bird trapped in a cage- wings clipped and feathers plucked. It made Astarion feel bitter- in what world were you trapped? You get to live in a nice mansion and go to dinner parties in nice clothes- Astarion just woke up in a TOMB after being in there for WEEKS. How dare a pampered princess such as yourself pretend that you are provided with anything less than perfection.

His bitterness (and biases) hadn’t lasted very long- it lasted for about 5 parties. Your relationship started out with a lot of bickering and miscommunication. Both of your words towards each other were passively laced with venom, but you never complained so he kept being assigned to you. It was never an option really either. Cazador insisted you be a part of every dinner despite Bridril’s grumbling.

The 6th meeting had changed everything. You had not arrived for the party your step-father was throwing and Bridril told Cazador that you were sick before hurriedly rushing off to talk to a local Magistrate. Cazador, naturally, wasn’t satisfied with this explanation so he had sent Astarion to find you.

Astarion had found you sleeping- bloody, battered, and bruised in your bedroom. There was a thick black banded bruise on your neck. The walls were empty, there was only a bedroll in the corner, and the book you had been reading the last time he was there was destroyed and in tatters on the floor. You had woken up when he accidentally slammed the door out of rage and you had looked around disoriented, but skittish and alert all the same. Your eyes softened when you realized it was just him.

You told him you had lost a competition because you hadn’t been sleeping well- too many bad dreams. Bridril had been so embarrassed that he had beaten you for the last several hours before- completely forgetting the mass amount of guests that he had invited to his home that evening. You weren’t allowed to leave your room. Astarion had been wrong. You were a trapped bird in a cage.

It was the one and only time Astarion ever willingly went to Cazador and told him what he had witnessed. You never had a scratch on you again at any future gatherings, but you always looked more tired than the time before. Bridril would boast about all the competitions you had won over the last month- Archery, jousting, mock combats, javelin throwing, etc, etc, etc. The list went on and on- you looked closer and closer to vomiting or keeling over from exhaustion with every activity he named. Life returned to your eyes when you and Astarion went off to dick around.

Escorting you around the Crimson Palace or around the Mansion quickly became his favorite part of those stupid dinner parties or any of the events Cazador threw or went to. You are complex and didn’t grow up in nobility. You despised it, but you were stuck because Bridril had enchanted your mother. You told him she breaks sometimes, but you rarely recognize the woman that pretends to be her nowadays.

You admitted to Astarion you thought he was a pompous bastard when you first met, but he is pretty so you let it slide. Astarion told you that he thought you were a spoiled brat, but because YOU were pretty, he also let it slide.

You had smiled at him, “I guess we are both wrong.”

“But not about being pretty.”

“Oh most certainly not.”

One evening, the two of you had had ‘too much’ fun according to Cazador. You had snuck him into the library and you had sat reading for the entire 6 hour affair. You had asked if it was okay if you sat near him and that eventually led to you leaninging against each other. Astarion had felt like he had been physically, painfully ripped from you when it was time to go. You had kissed Astarion on the cheek before he left and he kissed your hand. Cazador had flayed Astarion for that one night.

Astarion had felt some guilt regarding his resentment toward you after the incident. He knew he wasn’t helping his own situation by giving into your whims and your touch.

If Astarion didn’t know any better, he would think Cazador loved you, but he learned quickly that Cazador’s “affection” for you comes from a place of obsession and possessiveness. You looked like a previous lover of his from a lifetime that Astarion knew very little about. You were different from this woman, but it was not unwelcome in Cazador’s eyes- he has always liked a challenge. He could make you submit.

Cazador had wanted to send someone else to be your escort after you had begun to show an interest in Astarion- this was quickly squashed when you looked like you were going to light Cazador and his entire world on fire if he dared to volunteer another person. He had brought Leon, Astarion, and Dalyria and when Cazador volunteered Leon- you simply said, “No, I want Astarion.”

Cazador was infuriated, but he wanted- no needed you to be happy and to like him. Cazador had told Pale Petras that if he could win your favor, he was sure you’d just willingly come to him and ask to be his consort. Daisy could be thrown out entirely and maybe he’ll have negotiating room. The thought had made Astarion’s stomach turn- he wouldn’t be able to bare watching you become a lifeless consort under Cazador.

However, he always pushed those thoughts away when he was around you so he could stay in a good mood. You would flirt back and forth with Astarion, talk about irrelevant bullshit from the week, the gossip around the mansion, and you both mimicked and complained about how pathetic it was to watch Daisy grovel at Cazador’s feet- a lamb to the slaughter. You referred to the slaughter as being marriage, he referred to the slaughter as Cazador.

It had been a wonderful year of Daisy entirely failing at keeping Cazador’s attention, but she was determined and Astarion admittedly hoped that you may remain a consistent part of his life- the tiniest ray of light to look forward to once or twice a month. And if Cazador marries Daisy? Well, Astarion may never have to be that far away from you permanently.

Then, one night at a party, he had been in the Von mansion’s dining room- Cazador had instructed him to find you. He eventually gave up after he couldn’t and figured you would come to him eventually. Astarion was right, but not in the way he had originally hoped.

You had snuck into the second floor dining area and you locked it behind you. Astarion had been relieved to be in your presence again, but the state you were in… His relief was swallowed up when he had seen how bruised and beaten up you looked. Astarion had surprised you by his presence and you surprised him with your plan. You were escaping and instead of stopping you like a very massive part wanted him too- in spite of Cazador’s command to keep you from leaving the property having been shoved down Astarion’s throat, Astarion helped you tie the rope to propel down the side of the building.

Astarion can still remember the earnest look you’d given him- the way you begged him to leave with you. Gods he wanted to. Astarion remembered all the days that followed after where he kicked himself for not being selfish, but for whatever reason, he didn’t want there to be any way for you to be caught. Astarion knew if he went with you, neither one of you would ever get to know what it means to be free. Cazador would be able to find you through Astarion.

Astarion had told you “no”, struggled to get you to understand between tears, but then you promised him that you would be back. You would kill Cazador and he would be free- you just need him to wait for you. You didn’t know Cazador was a Vampire Lord at the time, but he still believed you. You said give you at least four years- you need time to prepare. He agreed.

Astarion never forgot your promise, clinging to it like a divine wish. There were only 2 more years left- then the Mindflayers kidnapped him.

Astarion had never felt more angry or defeated in his whole life. Astarion would have been free, but now he’s going to turn into a Mindflayer of all things.

Except it had been the best stroke of luck he’d ever had. You were there! In front of him after two years! Your softer noble appearance has been replaced with a scar that shows you dodged just in time to not lose an eye, an Oath of Vengeance sigil plastered to your chest, piercings along your ears, and a large beholder tattoo on your neck. Still beautiful, just far more authentic.

Astarion knows his initial plan to seduce you, sleep with you, and manipulate your feelings was a fucked up one-especially because he knew having you in every way would destroy Cazador without thinking of how it would make you feel. Astarion also acknowledged that a part of him had been doing all this for his own selfish pleasure- no one was in the way of keeping you from getting closer and Astarion didn’t want to have to share your affections with others in camp. And besides, he had been there first.

Oh and Astarion took every advantage of having you to himself. Talking to you, making you laugh, kissing you, being entangled with you while you sleep, drinking from you- fucking you until you only smell of him, leaving bite marks to show you are Astarion’s only.

What Astarion hadn’t anticipated was how much he would also want to be yours. He had been pushing down the feeling for a long time and he always brushed off Shadowheart’s puppy love jokes. Astarion was not smitten with you- he merely knows you and that’s why it’s all so easy. You had shown him simple kindness and you had a history together- you were the obvious choice to go to for protection.

Then the fight with Yurgir happened and Astarion watched you die.

The battle had been hard- brutal even for Astarion’s standards- and the constant bombs being dropped wasn’t helping the situation.

You were up top with Karlach, facing Yurgir head on while Shadowheart and himself tried to pick off the other attackers going after you both.

It had felt like hours, but in reality, what happened next lasted mere seconds.

Yurgir had made you and Karlach lose your balance, but Yurgir was focused on you. Astarion watched in despair as you were flung into the wall, crashing to the ground with a pained scream, a sickening crack, then nothing but blood pouring out of your head. Suddenly, a bomb exploded above you, the rocks began to pour down from the ceiling, and buried you.

The screams that had erupted from Karlach and Shadowheart had snapped him into action. Astarion didn’t remember the rest of the battle, just that it had been a bloodthirsty blur and now he, Karlach, and Shadowheart were clearing the rubble. Astarion had been the one to find you and your face was a bit bruised, the back of your head still seeping with blood, but you looked so peaceful and your skin was so so cold.

When you were completely uncovered, it was evident that you were dead- that this was a job for Withers or a scroll of revivify. Your neck was snapped in half, your limbs were broken- some even shattered. Shadowheart was able to heal and reset your neck so that the whole ordeal was slightly less grotesque. After, he had cradled you in his arms until Karlach and Shadowheart were sure there were no enemies between themselves and the exit.

Astarion had refused to let Karlach take you, holding your broken form against him as his silent tears spilled onto your hushed expression.

You had thankfully not been beyond the point of no return, but Astarion had realized that he needed to have a conversation with you. You are more than an upper hand to him, more than someone fun to tumble around with in his tent- you have somehow become his reason for going forward. Astarion had resigned himself to dying if you weren’t able to be revived. The thought had surprised him after wanting to be free for so long, but would his freedom be worth having if he couldn’t spend it with you? Astarion would rather take his chances and hope you end up together in the same afterlife.

That is what has led him and Shadowheart to having this conversation. Astarion wants to ask you to be something real to each other. Shadowheart had initially been confused, stating that you had “always been real?”, then he told her everything.

Whenever you left Astarion behind, he’d pass the time getting drunk with Shadowheart (if she was left behind). The last time, she had to ask Astarion if his entire conversation catalog is just about you because you were brought up every other word- he had felt incredibly embarrassed, so much so that he had gotten up and hid in his tent.

“Astarion- you never shut up about her, you’ve been following her around like a lost dog since day one- Hells you looked halfway to smitten on the DAMN BEACH!” Shadowheart says with a shrill voice, “What do you mean the entire time up until yesterday that it was all a lie!?”

“It wasn't yesterday only, my favorite wine drunk Sharran” Astarion stated matter-of-factly, “I just… didn’t want to acknowledge that I wanted more. After I first met her, I didn’t see her again for two years- it was bearable, but that had come with the promise of her coming back. She almost didn’t yesterday and I realized that, even after this is all said and done, I don't ever want her to go away. In any capacity.”

Shadowheart shook her head at him, “She’s going to be furious. Heartbroken even.”

“I know,” Astarion says thickly, “but I’m hoping she will forgive me or at least let me prove to her that I’m serious about us.”

You weren’t due back for at least another hour so they had begun working on the speech immediately.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Whatever we are,” you are glaring at him, your voice coated in venom, “or whatever you were pretending I was to you- it’s over.”

No. No. No. NO!

Astarion didn’t think it was possible for his heart to feel like it’s been shattered since it barely beats at all.

It’s over?

It can’t be over! It’s barely begun and you only have half of the story. Astarion knows you’ll listen- you’ll see sense. You have to… right?

“Darling, pl-”

“No! I hate you so much!,” you sob into your hands, his whole body hurts looking at you, “I hate you more than I thought I could ever hate anyone- undead, dead, or alive! I trusted you and you used me for your own gain- so unkindly, go fuck yourself!”

Astarion wants to grab you as you turn around and walk away. He wants to get down on his knees and plead to you- pray to you until you don’t leave him- that you take it back. You’ll give him a chance, even if he loses privileges like getting to hold your hand, cuddle with you at night, or even kiss you for a while, that would be far more bearable than losing you altogether.

Astarion falls to his knees, ruptured and humbled.

“Astarion,” Shadowheart says softly, squatting down in front of him, “it will be okay. She’ll forgive you. She just needs a second, okay? You knew and I knew that this was a toss up to begin with.”

Astarion nodded numbly and got to his feet. Shadowheart gives him a squeeze on the shoulder before going into her own tent and Astarion briskly begins to walk back to his. He makes eye contact with you as Wyll enters your tent and the look on your face when you saw him makes this whole nightmare all too real.

Once he secures the tent flaps, Astarion crawls onto his bedroll and lets the sadness consume him while being surrounded by your scent. This may be one of the worst days he’s ever had in the last 200 years- at least from what he can remember.

If Astarion wasn’t so afraid for your safety, he would have packed up all of his things and headed back to Cazador with his tail between his legs, but he can’t because all that does is put you in danger.

Astarion slowly peels himself off the bed roll and hugs his knees to his chest. He lets himself stare off into nowhere as he lets himself be consumed with the agony and vexation- it’s not like there is any wildlife to go take out his pain on.

Astarion gets up and rolls his shoulders. As much as he wants you, you are done with him and he needs to respect that. Astarion decides he’ll leave you alone, but remain in the background. He’ll stay until you tell him to leave and never return. It will hurt so terribly to not be near you like he was, but he’ll just have to be grateful for the time he did have- the time he took for granted.

Astarion begins to get ready for the long night ahead of him when an open letter on one of his books catches his attention.

It’s addressed to you, torn open and stained with tears. Astarion opens the envelope. He reads the note so many times he feels like he may go on a homicidal rampage. Not only was your mother dead, likely at the hands of your step-father, you are officially considered engaged to be married to Cazador fucking Szarr.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion had waited until morning to try to talk to you again-giving up on leaving you alone. He knows that you have a very long cool down period when your feelings are hurt (he has made this mistake less severely in the recent past). If there is any hope of you hearing Astarion out- it would be today.

Except you had already left with Karlach, Gale, and Lae’zel by the time he has finally built up the courage to leave his tent.

Astarion spent the day with Shadowheart and actually attempted to help with camp chores. Astarion bounced ideas off of her, but he didn’t tell her about the note. It felt like that was information for you to share if you wanted and you probably hadn’t intended on him learning about this information in the first place.

Shadowheart looks at him after awhile, a troubled look on her face. Shadowheart turns towards Wyll.

“Hey Wyll, they should have been back by now right?”

Wyll walks over to Shadowheart and Astarion with the same troubled expression.

“Yes, it was just a quick supply run to Last Light Inn before we take a day to recooperate,” Wyll says slowly, “I’m wondering what has held them up this long…”

Their pondering and questions were quickly interrupted by the sound of foot steps racing towards them.

“SHADOWHEART! HALSIN!”

You and Karlach were screaming their names in unison. Karlach is supporting Lae’zel and Gale is slack against you as you fight to keep him upright. The usually wonderful smell of your blood is now making him ill as you come closer to camp.

Across your sides were long, bloody scratch marks- in fact, there are claw marks all along your arms and your armor. One side of your face has a superficial scratch. Karlach appears to be in better shape, but just as scratched up nonetheless.

“We- we were ambushed by an Absolute Cultist,” Karlach exclaims breathily, “a Fist named Marcus. He was trying to bring Isobel back to Ketheric.”

Astarion watches as you help lay Gale down near Halsin and Shadowheart so they can begin to get to work, Lae’zel being laid down next to him. Shadowheart catches your wrist with her hand and gives you a Superior Healing Potion- the soft smile you offer her makes Astarion think he may have a chance.

Astarion walks back towards his tent and toys with the letter on the counter. Does he bring it up? Does he just bring it back to you and not acknowledge it? What would you even want him to do?

The noise outside had diminished as Lae’zel and Gale were recovered enough to be moved and healed in their individual tents- Shadowheart healing Gale and Halsin healing Lae’zel. It must be an early night for everyone. Astarion takes a deep breath and opens his tent flap, ready to confront you- but it looks like he didn’t have to travel very far to confront you.

There you are, cleaned up now, standing in front of Astarion’s tent looking nervous and heartbroken. In his shock, Astarion offers you his hand and gently pulls you inside, closing the flaps behind you.

“What did I do?” you blurt out, tears streaming down your face as fast as words are coming out of your mouth, “I can be useful again. I can do whatever you need me to- be whoever you need me to be.”

You take a jagged, heart wrenching inhale and he can hear you fighting the lump in your throat.

“I can’t do this alone- I just can’t,” you sob and look down at your feet, “I know what I said. I know I’m a fool for crawling back here begging you to keep pretending, but please. I can be what you need me to be, I promise. I’ll be- perfect for you. Please.”

Astarion bridges the gap between the two of you and puts your face between his hands, guiding your melancholy eyes to his.

“Darling, you have always been perfect. I have never needed you to be anything more or less than what you are. You are a Godsend.”

“Then why?” you whisper, “Why would you practice breaking up with me? What did I do?”

Astarion sits there and looks at you with bewilderment- practicing breaking up with you? He was practicing trying to ask to be with you!

He chuckles despite the tears that are slowly spilling from his eyes, “You insult me, my Love. I have no issues with breaking up with people- I think. Never really had the chance and I had no desire to end our relationship yesterday.”

You look at him with regret and guilt in your eyes. You go to move away from him- evidently worried about him rejecting you and hurting you. He moves with you, not letting you go anywhere and he kisses your forehead, one of his hands moving to the small of your back while the other remains on your cheek.

“What I was trying to tell you, my Dear,” Astarion softly whispers, “is that, regardless of my original intentions, my plan failed terribly.”

“How so?” you whisper in return.

“It was all so simple- seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy- instinctive. 200 years of instinct had kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it and all I had to do was not fall for you.”

Astarion traces your bottom lip with his thumb, pulling you into him by pressing into the small of your back. You gasp gently at the contact.

“And that is where my nice simple plan fell apart,” he says woefully, “you’re incredible. You deserve something real. I want us to be something real.”

Your eyes search his face for any signs of ingenuity or deception.

“I do too, more than anything,” you say breathlessly, “but what about everything I said yesterday? Everything I said was terrible.”

“It was,” he ponders, then he says teasingly “if my feelings weren’t so hurt and if I wasn’t the one on the receiving end- I dare say I would have been proud of you.”

“Well I learned my dramatics from the best after all.”

“I didn’t know Wyll was such a great teacher- I’ll have to ask him for tips some time,” he quips.

Your laugh lifts the painful fog that has been smothering him in his tent for the last day. Astarion pulls you down with him into his bedroll, you curl up around him and he spreads the blanket out. You lay your head on his chest and he pulls you into him tightly- inhaling your scent and savoring the thrumming of your pulse underneath his finger nails.

“Those nights when we were together,” you ask, peering up at him with worry, “did they not mean anything to you then?”

Astarion freezes before he releases a deep sigh. This may be the part where you change your mind and he is mentally preparing for it- taking account of the way you feel against him just in case this is truly the last time.

“I don’t know what real looks like,” he confesses, “being close to anyone-any kind of intimacy- was something I performed to lure people back for him.”

He feels you flinch at the mention of Cazador.

“Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don’t know how to be with someone- no matter how much I’d like to.”

“I care about you deeply- we can be together without having sex for however long you need,” you pause, “you are so much more to me than sex and I adore you for so much more than just your body.”

“Really?” the shock in his voice is blatant.

“Really,” you say with a smile before laying your head back on his chest.

“I don’t know what we’re doing,” he says giddily, running his hands through your hair, “ but I know that this, this is nice.”

You hum in agreement and he draws circles on your back. Astarion basks in your presence and sits in the relief that you are back in his arms again.

“Astarion,” you break the silence, “I have to tell you something- I got a letter. It’s not… good.”

“I know, Darling,” Astarion says tightly, “you left it in here. Unfortunately I let my noisiness get the best of me.”

You both sit in the heavy silence that fills the air.

“I’m to be married off to him, Astarion,” you choke out.

“I won’t let him have you, “Astarion snarls, his voice coming out much harsher than he intended.

“But what if there isn’t a choice? What if it would protect yo-”

“No.”

He is looming over you, you are now flat on your back staring up at him. Astarion feels like a coil ready to spring. If it’s ever between him and you regarding who goes to Cazador- he’d serve a thousand life sentences before he’d ever let that vile man so much as look in your direction.

“Astarion-”

“No,” he says between clenched teeth, “you will not sacrifice yourself for me. I don’t care if you marrying Cazador and being his consort would make me mortal again. You will not be his- he cannot have you.”

You look up at him with bleary, adoring eyes, “okay.”

Astarion kisses your trembling lips and he tastes the tears staining them. Astarion pulls away and strokes your cheek softly. He lays back down and you turn towards him, tangling your hands into his hair, gently detangling it. Astarion rests his hands on your hips, using his fingers to delicately adjust you until your legs are entangled in his.

“My mom is dead, Star,” you say remorsefully “she’s gone. She was all alone and probably so afraid. I never even said goodbye before I left her to her fate- I was a coward.”

The hurt in your voice is raw and bleeding- it breaks Astarion’s heart all over again.

“I am so incredibly sorry for your mother and your loss, Little Love, “Astarion says softly, “but you are not a coward. You did what you needed to do. You were always planning on coming back.”

“I was,” you whisper, “I was going to get her first and then you.”

“Foolishly enough,” Astarion chuckles, “I never lost faith in you. I felt like if anyone could do it, it would be you- the glimpse of sunlight amongst the secondhand embarrassment that is Daisy Von.”

You giggle and press your face into his chest- the vibrations fills his chest with warmth. Astarion is so incredibly happy you are back where you belong- here with him.

“I am hardly comparable to the sun,” you say, “I think I’m a candle. Ordinary, accessible, there when you need it.”

Astarion turns over your words in his head- he agrees with the statement but disagrees with the reasoning entirely.

“You are a candle,” he says slowly, “but a candle has always been a luxury to me. It allowed me to sew or read- to have a tiny piece of my humanity back. It was nice to have a break from the dark, huddled around the small flame.”

He pauses, “ I suppose that is why I am so drawn to you. You make me feel like a person again and you are a luxury I never thought I’d be lucky enough to afford outside of those monthly visits.”

“Well, then I promise I will remain here,” you say with adoration, “your humble candle- for as long as you need me.”

“Be careful what you promise, Little Love,” Astarion teases, “if you aren’t careful, you may be stuck with me for eternity.”

“Gods, I hope so!” you say with flourish, “everyone else is terribly boring and does not appreciate my predisposition for shenanigans.”

“How ungrateful!”

“Entirely ungrateful!” you agree.

Astarion pulls you in for another kiss, a grin forming as you gasp at the suddenness of his actions. Astarion kisses the tip of your nose, both of your cheeks, and your forehead. You settle into him and he strokes your hair- your breathing evens out and you are slack against him.

Astarion takes in your sleeping figure and feels another surge of protectiveness enveloping his body. He doesn’t know how accessible his thoughts are to Cazador, but he hopes Cazador hears this one.

You cannot have her- she is mine.

_________________________________________________

Author note- should I do a part three and four with the Cazador confrontation? I’m torn- let me know your thoughts pleaseeeeee

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion romance #astarion x tav #bg3 #karlach #astarion acunin #astarion x f! reader #astarion x female reader

[shankschewtoy]

Hey slayer. I've been violently ill lately and thought it be best to turn my misery into your profit, so here's a request for you. May I request the asl trio with an s/o that one night got really really sick?? Like I'm talking throwing up in the toilet, body shaking, feeling like you're going yo die type of thing. Thanks, have a great day and I hope you drink water 👋

a/n - nooo! I’m sorry about that anon :( I hope you feel better soon :) sorry in advance but I somehow make things cracky when they’re supposed to be serious 💀

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, vomit, comfort

- this guy hasn’t gotten sick once in his entire life, so he doesn’t know what the fuck to do when someone gets sick- (have you seen the way he tried to handle when nami got sick 😭)

- today, you already felt nauseous, sick to your stomach. The thought of eating made you want to throw yourself overboard-

- the rocking waves that shook the boat back and forth only contributed more- you weren’t even sure if this was your sickness, or sea sickness at this point

- maybe both?

- the toilet was your new bestie, the amount of times you threw up in there were countless

- chopper did his best with what meds he had- but nothing really eased the sickness. Your head just kept banging, dizzy from how many times you’ve thrown up

- your captain wasn’t sure what to do- he just kept frantically calling chopper over to see if you were ok.. He knew that maybe his funny antics weren’t going to help you right now

- “Sorry y/n… But I think this is just going to pass tomorrow, hang in there.” -chopper

- You were glad it wasn’t anything serious, but this was horrible

- Don’t you worry, Luffy stayed with you the entire night. He stole a bucket from Sanji for you to throw up in, and tried to tell you funny stories to lighten up your mood

- “Okok- ummmmm. Ok so there was this one time where grandpa kicked me down into a hole at night and-“ (Luffy was abused /with love)

- whenever you tried to sleep, he’d pat your head softly to lull you to sleep, and he tried his VERY hardest not to make any noise

- he ends up making noise but- it’s alright, you still love him (I hope)

- “Y/n! Don’t think about green! Like- don’t think about bushes and stuff! Think about uh… Meat! Wait- no. Uhm….“

- You were getting even more sick at the mention of the color green.. And meat? Luffy no.

- “NO I’M SORRY! DON’T THINK ABOUT MEAT! THINK ABOUT UH- THE SKY? THE GOING MERRY! SUNNY?”

- with him naming random stuff extremely loudly, it was able to distract you from all those gross thoughts, good save Luffy

- you made it through the night (traumatized) but alive. You were glad Luffy was there to stay with you, even though he’s not the best doctor in town lmao

- he loves you, and he’d do anything to make you feel alright :)

- he’s very experienced with almost every sickness, and he’s read about almost every kind of medical book he has in his library

- but nothing prepared him for taking care of the person he loved, because books don’t cover that :)

- you already asked Dragon if you could rest for today, and that alone made sabo so worried. You never had to miss a mission.. This must’ve been really bad

- as soon as the ship docked, sabo sprinted, and I mean SPED towards the headquarters

- my man literally knocked poor koala over on the way 😭

- when he burst through the door like a mad man, he grimaced when he saw how bad you looked

- you were still sitting by the toilet, your face turning green in close intervals

- “Oh hey sabo- how was the m-“ *throws up*

- “Y/N?! ARE YOU OK?!”

- He’s about to faint, but he managed to drag the doctor out from his office, and haul ass back to you for him to check you out

- sabo never knew he could be so tense and anxious, he found out today that he suffered from major anxiety whenever something bad happened to you 😭

- The doctor explained that it was simply a really bad stomach flu, and it would go away by either tomorrow or the next few days

- sabo was glad it wasn’t anything serious! But still, he was worried about you, I mean… You weren’t looking great-

- He tried his best, but whenever you threw up, he felt sick as well- so he comforted you while closing his eyes and covering his ears (he’s trying)

- at one point he had to run off because he threw up too 💀 probably from both feeling horrible because you were going through this. And also, he’s scared of vomit unfortunately

- just because he’s scared doesn’t mean he’s not going to stay with you 24/7! He’s sitting with you, giving you whatever you ask and need

- he tries to talk about anything except vomit and the color green lmao- but he somehow finds a way to get back to it??

- “Yeah on the mission today- we were freeing some of our comrades and one of them- his name’s Steve. He was wearing this AWFUL green shirt and I swear-!” *throws up*

- “I’M SORRY- FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID PLEASE.”

- this poor man is dying, but trying 👍

- like Luffy, this guy has never been sick. EVER

- but he’s an expert at sensing whether or not you’re feeling ok- it’s kinda creepy

- it’s like he knows if a sneeze is coming, and he says bless you early 0-0

- this time, he didn’t catch it since he was off the ship, kicking marine ass on an island

- when he got back, you were- let’s just say.. You’ve been better.

- Whitebeard was worried, and Marco took a look at you right away. No one was as worried as Ace though, this poor guy was on fire, quite literally

- he kept accidentally setting things on fire around him from how worried he was!

- “Ace, don’t panic. Stay calm.” -Whitebeard

- “I AM CALM.”

- no he is not calm at all

- Marco told you that this would just have to pass normally, and he could only give you some anti-nausea meds

- when ace could finally go into your room, he was asking every single question known to man

- “Baby are you ok? You need water? Hugs? Food? A bucket? Meds? Blanket? Marco to turn into a fluffy bird and for you to hold him in your hand?”

- “…what?”

- let’s just say if you need something, he’s on it

- whenever you throw up, he’s like- cheering you on?

- “Great job! Get all that nasty stuff out! You got this!”

- I mean. It helped I guess 💀

- he’ll give you cuddles, hugs, anything to help you fall asleep and get through the night

- you finally fell asleep on him after a couple hours

- but this poor dude needed to pee so bad at around 3am. But the thought of waking you up, only for you to start throwing up again made him so sad..

- he didn’t want you to have to go through it again if you didn’t have to!

- so he sucked it up, and held it until you woke up at 7

- “Oh hey ace.. I feel a lot better now, thanks for staying.”

- “Oh my gosh that’s great! But give me like- 10 seconds I have to pee so fucking bad-!”

- my man SPED to the bathroom, leaving a literal trail of fire 💀💀💀

- he was in there for a while 😭

a/n - ace is so sweet 🥹

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece hcs #anime hcs #luffy headcanons #monkey d luffy #one piece luffy #luffy x y/n #luffy x reader #mugiwara no luffy #monkey d. luffy #ace one piece #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace x you #luffy x you #fire fist ace #portgas d ace #ace op #one piece ace #revolutionary sabo #sabo x y/n #sabo x reader #one piece sabo #sabo x you #sabo #sabo one piece #chief of staff sabo #sabo headcanons #sabo the revolutionary

[messrmoonyy]

Moonboys reacting to your baby’s first kick

Prompt- could you please write what the boys would react like to feeling your baby kick for the first time?

A/n- I had to delete the ask prompt as this uploaded funny before, and everytime I add in a ‘read more’ cut it starts duplicating my paragraphs so 😃🔫 So. Let’s repost and see how it goes now lmao. Baby’s and pregnancy are not my forte so I hope this okay. Enjoy these little drabbles.

Warnings- none. Fluff

Masterlist- requests open for hcs, drabbles and one shots

Reblogs and comments appreciated <3

Steven

It was late. Well. Early. The clock beside the bed showing 1:34am in a practically mocking way. He had thought that once Khonshu was no longer leering over him that sleep would come easier. But it had been years now and yet he still struggled from time to time.

You were next to him, curled up on your side, his arm draped over your belly as he read in some attempt to fall tired. But sleep still evaded him, even though the book wasn’t particularly exciting. He had read practically every baby book known to man he was certain, he wanted to be prepared after all. And the entire thing was just… exciting. He took great joy in telling you all about the interesting things currently cooking up inside your womb, informing you the size of the baby every week. It was carrot sized now. Or telling you the best baby bottles he thought you should get because tiredtwinmum95 online said they were just brilliant.

He couldn’t be more excited. Yes it was a terrifying thing, especially in your situation. Three dads, one body. But it was exciting none the less. You were 21 weeks gone, not that he was counting down the days or anything. You’d pushed past that stage of just kind of looking bloated all the time, to actually looking pregnant now. Your bump still small but rounded out, clearly pregnant when you weren’t wearing baggy shirts. It was all starting to feel a bit more real.

He looked down at you with a warm smile, fast asleep. He’d spent the hour before bed massaging your achy shoulders and back, and you’d been dead to the world ever since. You deserved the rest. He thought it was a miracle how you still were able to go to work and do day to day things, when you carrying such precious cargo. Doing such an incredible and important job of growing and protecting his daughter.

He turned back to his book but after only another paragraph he froze. His eyes darted over to you, wondering if what he had felt was real or his imagination.

But then… again.

A small movement under the hand that was resting on your belly, gentle but definitely there. His face lit up, tossing the book to the end of the bed and placing his other hand there too. It was a little more prominent when it happened again, almost as if his daughter could sense he was there. He almost wanted to cry.

“ Heyyyy little one “ he said softly, leaning his face closer and gently pulling you over onto your back. Not wanting to disturb you but overwhelmed by the excitement of some actual movement “ can you hear me yeah? “ You stirred at the movement and opened a bleary eye, looking at your husband with nothing but confusion “ that’s right you can can’t you? “

“ Steven? “ he did look a little mad, beaming smile and wild eyes, holding onto your bump gently.

“ she moved “ he said in amazement “ y/n she moved. There’s an actual baby in there “ he said with a stunned laugh, shaking his head. A smile made its way onto your own face as you watched him and the utter joy on his face.

“ Right a baby of course. I was beginning to wonder what it was “ he dropped his cheek to your stomach, the smile never leaving him for even a second.

“ can you hear me little one? Yeah? I’m your daddy. Well. I’m one of them “

“ babe I don’t think she can he- “ your baby moved again in response and Steven gave you a slight smug look at that.

“ see. She can hear me. I read about it, they can hear music and everything. Gods don’t let Jake play her any music she’ll come out speaking Spanish “ your daughter moved again and he raised an eyebrow “ I think she technically just kicked me in the face ��

“ feisty one “

“ like her mum “ he shuffled back up to lay beside you and wrapped his arms around you, a gentle kiss falling on your cheek “ it’s just mad, innit? “ he sighed dreamily “ we made a baby love. Like. An actual real baby. Mental “ you laughed and pulled him in for a soft kiss before shifting back onto your side, Steven cradling your bump as you fell back into sleep

Marc

Marc wasn’t a morning person. At all. He always woke up with a grudge against the world no matter how much sleep he’d had. So his usual morning ritual was roll over, pull you into his arms, bury his face into your neck and grumble about how much he hated mornings. But how much he loved you. But when he rolled over the bed was empty. His face fell against a cold pillow instead of your hair, hands grabbing at cool sheets instead of your warm skin. It simply made his morning mood worse.

He sat up with a frown etched into his face, angry at the world and everyone on it. But his brow soon relaxed, his scowl easing from his features, when he saw you stood in the kitchen. He got out of bed as quietly as his still sleepy limbs would allow him, covering the distance between the bed and the kitchen in quick time. Anxious to get his hands on you and resume his regular way of easing himself into the world.

“ hi “ he grumbled as his arms wrapped around you from behind, not as easy as it once had been with your ever growing bump in the way.

“ hey sleepy head “ you said, leaning your head to accept the kiss he dropped onto your cheek, as you continued to wash the dishes that had been left in the sink from the night before.

“ why are you up so early washing damn dishes and not in bed? “ he closed his eyes, breathing you in as his senses finally started to come around and wake up.

“ for one, it’s not early. It’s 9:30. And two, I woke up at 7 to pee again and I just got this mad urge to clean. Steven says it’s nesting or something. Like wanting things to be perfect and ready. I don’t know I just really wanted to clean “ he smiled against your skin, unable to control his inner joy anytime the baby was mentioned.

He’d been absolutely terrified at first. He’d literally refused to deal with it, not fronting for an entire week no matter how much Steven and Jake tried to convince him too. A baby was far too much pressure. A tiny life in his and your hands when he barely knew how to take care of himself properly? It was terrifying. He’d come around though.

“ great. Already got your mom wrapped around your finger havent you? Got her running around like a mad woman when she should be cuddling with me? “ he said, patting your stomach gently which made you giggle.

“ sorry you and the boys are in second place now. This little princess is number one, isn’t that right? “ you cooed as your dried off your hands, placing a hand over Marcs. It was then that Marc felt it, the little prod under his hands.

“ what was- “

“ oh someones awake “ you cooed and gently moved Marc’s hand to the left slightly “ feel there “ he felt it again then, movement under your skin. It was ever so slightly weird but also incredible. He’d never felt the baby move. You’d called him from work the first time, crying in a mix of joy and fear. Then spent the entire evening trying to make her move again so he could feel it too.

Then any other time she’d moved Marc simply hadn’t been fronting. But now he finally was.

“ made me wait for that one didn’t you baby girl. Damn “ you laughed and held his hand in place as she continued to wiggle around. 

“ you feel it yeah? “ he nodded, awestruck at the feeling “ she’s getting more active. I think she knows eviction time is getting closer “ you still had a while to go but it truly couldn’t come quick enough “ now you’ve met all your daddy’s haven’t you? “ he smiled and turned you around in his arms, looking at you with every ounce of adoration he could muster.

“ I love you “ he said quietly and you beamed a smile, leaning forward to kiss him “ and you. Even if you did make me wait “ he said with a light pat to your bump.

“ you soppy sod “

Jake

“ Jake! Jake! “ Jake startled as you screeched for him from the bathroom, almost throwing the tv remote at the screen in his shock “ Jake! Get in here quick! “ he assumed it was probably a spider in the tub or another bee had snuck in through the window.

But then again. What if it was something worse… a person. An old enemy seeking revenge. Someone having somehow slipped past him and ready to tear away his family. He charged for the bathroom, skidding into the room ready to deck whoever dared to lay a hand on his wife and child.

“ No la toques. te mataré, puta madré! “ Jake yelled as he frantically looked around for whoever had you. But stopped in confusion to find you alone, stood half undressed as you got ready for your bath “ mi amor? “

“ come here! Quick “ you were beaming at him, beckoning him over to you “ quick jake! “ he made his way over and you grabbed his hands, placing them on to your baby bump

“ what are you- “

“ just wait. Hang on “ you held his hands in place “ come on love don’t be shy now it’s your daddy “ you said softly, looking down at your stomach. Jakes brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something else but then he felt it, as if something was poking him under his hands.

“ dios mío is that-“

“ yeah. Been wiggling around for the last few minutes “ he dropped to his knees in front of you and let you move his hands around to follow your daughters movements “ see. She knows it’s you “ the baby wiggled around again “ talk to her the doctors said she can hear us. Talk to her “ he did feel a little silly to even think about talking to your stomach. But you had become the only person alive he’d ever let him self be soft and silly with. So he indulged you.

“ hola Princessa “ he said quietly “ Steven tells me you’re a carrot now “ you snorted a laugh at that and shook your head.

“ wonderful first impression there, calling her a carrot “

“ ¿qué? Blame steven. He tells us every week the new vegetable “ you shook your head again with a smile and Jake pressed a gentle kiss to your bump before rising to his feet again. He looked at your glowing face, how happy you looked and he couldn’t help but look at you as if you were placed on the earth simply just for him.

Learning you were pregnant had been a tough pill to swallow at first. What was he supposed to do with a baby? His hands were made for taking life. Not cradling a tiny precious one. He took. He didn’t make. It felt wrong to even think of holding such a delicate little person in his hands that were so bloodstained.

“ you’re cute you know that? “ you said with a grin, squishing his cheeks between your fingers and making his lips pout. He looked like a rather unamused cat that was being forced to play.

“ sure “ he deadpanned and twisted his himself out of your grasp and placed a kiss to your lips.

Translations ( apologies if wrong. Google translate is all I have 😞)

No la toques - don’t touch her

te mataré, puta madré - I’ll kill you mother fucker

Mi amor - my love

Hola Princessa - hello princess

Dios mio - oh my god

¿qué? - what

#istg if it messes up again #marc spector x reader #jake lockely x reader #steven grant x reader #moonknight x reader #moonknight #mr knight #marvel #mcu #moonknight fanfiction #afab reader #fluff #Oscar issac #x reader #x you #established relationship #pregnancy #pregnant reader #khonshu #layla el faouly

[arlestial]

Hiii can you mabye write boyfriend hcs for aiku sae shidou and luna from bllk please?💖

❝it's you and me, that's my whole world❞

synopsis : How does it feel to be their fantastic s/o ?

pairing : Aiku, Sae, Shidou, Luna x gender neutral!reader •— Blue Lock

tw : None, that’s mainly fluff and comfort (a bit suggestive on Aiku and Shidou’s part, some « feminine » pet names in Aiku’s part)

word count : 1850~ words

author-note : Hii !! Thanks for your request. To be honest, I didn’t even remembered who was Luna lmao, so I read again Blue Lock to see his face.. I swear I forgot about him. Hope you like it and that I hadn’t made them too occ !! (I’m becoming a simp for Aiku help) take care of yourself ♡

AIKU OLIVER seems quite intimidating at first, maybe because of his famousness or because of his height, but meeting him the first time made you nervous. He’s super outgoing, and straightforward (it’s a bit scary-). But when you get to know him better, he’s going to be the sweetest of these four boys ! Aiku puts his whole heart into everything if it’s for you. You want a new plushie ? He’s going to search for the perfect plushie for you, with the cutest design, your favorite color : prepare yourself, he’s gonna take some classes to learn how to make one. Alright, it won’t be the most beautiful plushie you’re gonna see but hey !! He did it with his hands ?? And it took a while to do so !! He prefers to do something more significant for you than to simply buy something (but he will buy you a lot of things, jewelry, books he thinks you’d like, ect.). He’s a flirt, ngl, he likes to embarrass you, but he always makes-up for it, by pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. I definitely think he would call you honey, sweetheart or my girl.

"- Sweetheart, I’m 200% sure eating two chocolate bars are not very good for your stomach…"

"Nah, don’t worry about me- AIKU !"

He grabbed the chocolate from your hands and put his over his head.

"I don’t wanna hear you whine like a baby because your stomach hurts, mkay ? My sweet girl can’t even take care of herself well", he said in a playful tone.

"Shut up, Aiku, and give me my chocolate bars. Now."

"Then make me, honey", he winked at you and you rolled your eyes. You approached him, hugging him, and putting your hand on his torso, in a seductive way. He felt his heart beating faster, harder in his chest, and the kiss you gave him on his neck made him feel kinda hot, his cheeks becoming red.

You snatched the chocolates bars from his hands and ran away, leaving the poor man alone, flustered. Yeah, he’s whipped for you. A big simp with absolutely no shame.

ITOSHI SAE is extremely different from Aiku. His demeanor is cold, and he was extremely distant and dry in the beginning of your friendship. Then, as the time past, he was more and more attached to you, and started catching feelings. He was so mad at himself : you probably saw him as a friend, and nothing more. Plus, he was kinda mean towards you, he thought you would like a nicer man.. but when you confessed to him, he (almost) had a smile on his face. This man’s gonna pamper you the best he can, buying you the most expansive jewelry ever, the prettiest clothing, taking you to dates often, even if he’s extremely busy. His love language is surely gift giving and quality time !! I feel like he’s very protective too, especially to soccer players; and kinda his brother, who’s one of your friends. He’s a bit insecure and he’s definitely touch starved, so you need to boost his confidence and assure him you won’t leave him anytime soon (never). He would definitely call you dear or babe.

" Sae, what are you look for ? ",you asked, seeing your boyfriend searching something in the closet of your shared home.

"My white shirt, I have an appointment with some journalist today, but I don’t find- oh."

He saw you holding out his shirt, a proud smile on your face.

"I put your shirt away this morning, I was sure you were going to be late"

"Thanks, babe", he said, a small smile creeping on his face, taking his shirt and your hand in his, kissing your knuckles gently. He put his shirt and then headed to the door of the house. You followed him.

"Don’t forget the restaurant this evening dear", he said, taking his coat.

"Mmh", you kissed him goodbye, smiling through the kiss.

"I won’t be long, I promise, love you."

SHIDOU RYUSEI is… a special lover, to say the least. Prepare yourself for tons of adventures and tons of weird stares. He has literally no shame, he’s extremely bold, even in public (this dude doesn’t understand PDA ig) and he doesn’t give a shit about people around him, not what they think of him. But when it comes to you ? Ohh man. He’s extremely proud of you, he’s gonna show you off to everyone 24/7, and if somebody says something about you that he doesn’t like, you would need to calm him fast because he’s ready to throw hands. He wants to hang-out with you all the time, he’s capable of everything for you. Definitely a simp and a hype-man !! He wants to be in your arms 24/7 and absolutely love when you praise him about his skills in soccer or in anything else. This man has a lot of respect for you, your family and friends, but he’s sometimes a bit harsh towards your friends, especially if some of them disrespect you because « it’s fun » or because they’re the « pickme » type.

"Oh hi, Y/N !", you turned your head towards the noise to see two friends you haven’t seen in a while.

"Oh, hi, long time no see ! How are you ?"

"I’m fine ! How are-" answered your first friend, before being interrupted by the second one, that was looking down at you.

"I heard you have a boyfriend now ?"

"Uh… yeah I have, I’m waiting for him to get out of his training right now. He’s a soccer player !", you responded, a bit nervous, a strained smile on your lips.

"Wondering how you get a hottie like this to even take a look at you."

You felt immediately humiliated, you haven’t seen her for almost one year and a half, and she’s already trying to belittle you ? You frowned, and she stopped laughing in a high-pitched voice to look at you again, then sighed.

"Man, you’re so sensitive, chill. It’s a joke."

"A joke is supposed to be funny, bitch."

Shidou appeared behind your second friend, pushing her towards the first one, hurting her a bit in the process.

"Get the fuck out of here now or I’m going to smash your fucking head into the concrete."

They ran away, the second one literally scared for her life, and Shidou put his hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you to the exit of the corridor.

"Don’t listen to her doll, you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world, you know that. I’m the luckiest man here."

LEONARDO LUNA is a sarcastic yet, loving man. He absolutely loves to tease you and to fluster you, it’s his hobby. Making you blush ? He’s smiling. Making you laugh ? He’s crying from your cuteness. His humor is so good, you’ve never seen a funnier man in your life, istg. He’s even more funny when you two go on a date and when he decides to judge every. single. person. that walked past both of you. He’s fond of you, and each day he has you on his side makes him realize he’s the happiest man of the world, thanks to you. He wants you to come to his games with his jersey, and he told his coach he wanted you on the bench near the field, to hold you in his arms after each win, and each defeat. You literally have him warped around your finger, he’s willing to do anything for you to be happy, even belittle himself. His friends tease him about you, but he can’t protest : you’re the light in his life, he counts the days before seeing you again (when he needs to be in a foreign country for soccer), you’re his wallpaper screen, he’s always calling you or texting you, sometimes in the middle of training.

"Luna, what are you doing ?? We’re training man", scoffed his teammate, seeing him on his phone, smiling like a kid.

"I’m texting my s/o, ‘kay? So stop disturbing me, thanks."

"You’re such a simp", he laughed.

"Shut the fuck up", Luna answered, cheeks red, embarrassed.

#blue lock x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae #aiku x reader #bllk aiku #oliver aiku #sae bllk #blue lock shidou #shidou bllk #shidou x reader #shidou #luna #luna blue lock #luna bllk #leonardo luna x trader #luna x reader #blue lock #bllk

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [4]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 20,748

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut (wrap it before ya tap it!), a little bit of angst, mentions of scars, blood, bruises, reader gets a suit but the fit of it isn’t described just the colors (yes, it’s like Steph’s suit because it’s my favorite of the bats)

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: So, I combined chapters 4 and 5 and this was over 25k words. Google Docs was lagging so hard I couldn’t finish editing on mobile. It was an ordeal lmao I’m so sorry. I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next week, you and Jason continue your new dynamic. It’s fun for the both of you and it feels safe. Neither of you feel too much pressure with each other and you’re both really happy. It always starts with your game and then one of you makes the move. That’s usually who wins and it’s fun. 

Now, you’re sitting in the kitchen on one of the laptops reading through a Reddit thread about the Titans. Steam is practically coming out of you ears as Jason walks in.

“You good?” Jason chuckles, seeing you look like you want to chuck the laptop out a window.

“Look at this!” You yell, pointing at the laptop screen that shows a Reddit that’s discussing the vigilante names of the Titans.

“What the fuck am I looking at?” Jason chuckles, his hand resting on the back of your chair and the other hand on the counter as he leans in.

“Acid Fingers!” You fume, pointing dramatically at the screen.

Jason bursts into a fit of laughter. “That you?” He glances at you and he knows this is going to be fun.

“I guess!” You yell, your hands flying above your head.

Jason shakes his head, looking through more of the names and they just keep more ridiculous. He’s taking a mental note of every name to call you the next time you make fun of him being Robin.

“Melty Hands?” Jason continues to chuckle, this is ridiculous.

“Glow girl!” You get more dramatic. “Who the fuck is Freddy Freeman and how can I kill him?!”

Jason looks at you and you’re so mad but he swears you’re endearing. “I think it’s great.” Jason lets his laugh subside.

You snap your neck at him, eyes wide, steam nearly coming out of your ears. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK IT’S GREAT?!?!?! YOU GOT BEASTBOY, SUPERBOY, NIGHTWING, STARFIRE, AND FUCKING ACID FINGERS?!?!?!?!!? WHAT THE FUCK.”

He thinks it’s funny how annoyed you are by it. It’s not even a big deal given you’re not actually a Titan at this current point in time and he has a vivid memory of you saying you don’t even like vigilante names from last week. And the only thing he wants to do is kiss the scowl off your face.

“Acid Fingers is a great one.” Jason tilts his head back, unable to control his laughing.

“I’m gonna hunt this little shit down. Acid Fingers.” You let out a scoff.

“I like it.” Jason says through a laugh. “I’m calling you that, now.”

“Don't you fucking dare, Jason Todd!”

Jason’s voice drops, his face coming closer to yours as he goes to taunt you. “What are you gonna do about it, Acid Fingers?”

You look back at him and the annoyance of the whole thing almost melts away because he looks at you like that, eyes darting to your lips and soft and nothing else even matters. But then he would win.

“You’re named after a fucking bird. And you don’t even look like a robin! You look more like a parrot.” 

Jason’s brows furrow but he keeps his stance close to you. “A parrot?” Jason chortles.

“Red, green, black, yellow. Parrot. Robins are not that colorful.” You snark and Jason can see you trying desperately not to let a smirk come to your lips.

“Still better than, acid fingers. Could have called you Sulfar, Nitric, Bombardier, Scorpian!” Jason says enthusiastically. “Cobra could work, I guess, but that doesn’t fit, I don’t think.” He nods his head just once, his brows are just slightly knitted together.

You blink at him. “I’m actually gonna kill you.” Your words are softer this time, holding no venom with the hollow threat.

“You can try, Acid Fingers.”

“Jason Todd, so fucking help me.” You let out a groan and you knows he will never let this go.

“What’re you gonna do about it, babe?”

“You’re such a brat.” You state softly.

Jason’s laugh bellows through the kitchen as he leans up with the laugh. Bruce peaks in to see what the yelling is about but he just sees Jason laughing hysterically, happier than Bruce has ever seen him before. You look like you’re about to actually commit mass murder but Bruce catches the hint of smile on your face as you watch Jason laugh. Bruce smiles to himself before walking off and leaving the two of you to yourselves.

“I’m gonna tell this little shit--” You start, turning back to the laptop.

“Okay,” Jason cuts you off, yanking your laptop away from you and closing it. “He’s probably like twelve.” Jason laughs. “And you don’t even like the name thing so, Acid Fingers, get a grip.”

“It’s so stupid.” You whine before it turns into a laugh. “It’s so dumb!”

“Hey, I’m a bird and Dick still fucking chose Nightwing, kept the bird thing going. All of the bat stuff is called bat-something.” Jason chortles and he’s got a devious smirk.

“It’s all so dumb.” You get tears from laughing.

“I think Dick actually named most of the stuff. He named the batcomputer.” Jason explains.

“OH, but I call you guys Batsons and I don’t even get a laugh.” You roll your eyes.

“You called us Batsons?”

“Yeah! Are you not the sons of Batman?”

“I guess.” Jason mocks you.

“Shut the fuck up, Jaybird.” You groan, tilting your head back.

Jason can’t stop the laugh that escapes his mouth with the nickname. “Better than shithead, brat, and Acid Fingers.” Jason gives you a wild grin and all you can do is groan. “Come on, get up.” Jason offers you his free hand while you reach for the laptop. “No, enough internet for you today, fucking nerd. I want you to meet someone today.”

“You have friends?” You quip and Jason’s jaw drops as he narrows his eyes at you. “And don’t say me or Gar.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Jason laughs. “I have more friends than you do!” You go to open your mouth but Jason goes first. “Don’t say me or Gar.”

“Don’t say me or Gar.” You mutter under your breath, mocking him. “Okay, Krypto.”

“Krypto is a dog, he doesn’t fucking count!” Jason’s eyes widen and that’s something he really likes about you. Considering Krypto as a friend.

“I’m telling him you said that. You’re gonna hurt his feelings, you’re a monster!” You yell dramatically, placing your hand over your heart.

“You're so dramatic!” Jason doesn’t remember a time he laughed this much with anyone.

“You wear a cape and put black eye shadow around your entire eye socket.” You deadpan, blinking at him.

“You were a cape and put black eye shadow around your entire eye socket.” Jason makes a face, mocking you as he mutters under his breath. You let out a laugh and you adore him. “Come on, Acid Fingers.”

“See, dramatic.” You point a finger at him, a cocky smile on your lips.

There are bubbles exploding through his veins as you look at him with big eyes and that smile that could set the world on fire. He doesn’t know what that feeling is but he wants to chase it as fast and as long as he can.

“Come on, seriously. I think you’ll like her.”

“Her?” You raise a brow at him and you hate the way you find your stomach twist at the thought. You’re his friend, too and look where you are right now.

“Jealous?” Jason quips and maybe he's hoping you will be.

You almost say yes but if you’re both just messing around, that’s not very fair. But, he’s taunting you again and he always does that. You spend nearly all your time together so you take another route.

“Should I be?” You quip with confidence and you’re so sure that he’s yours even if your stomach fills with the warmth of green at the mention of a friend that’s a girl.

Jason shrugs because it’s the easiest answer in the world. “Nope.”

“Fine.” You take his hand in yours, getting to your feet. “Where we going?”

“For coffee in the city. Trust me, I think you’ll like her and you need more friends.”

“Aw, but this is so fun.” You scrunch your nose. “I’m kind of an asshole.”

“Have you met me?” Jason gestures to himself with the arm holding the laptop. “She won’t care. If she can tolerate my shit, she can tolerate yours.” Jason rests the laptop on the counter, you going to grab it but Jason yanks you back, pulling you against him. “Seriously?”

“No.” You shake your head, getting a grin before sliding your free hand up to his neck. “Knew you’d do that.” You pull him into you and kiss him deeply. You can feel Jason relax under your touch as you nip at his bottom, Jason groaning against you. When you pull away, his smile is soft and you’ve got that grin that makes Jason’s head spin. “See, I can plan ahead.”

“Alright.” Jason’s voice is breathless as he recovers. “Fuck off.”

“Taking the bike?”

“Always.” Jason chuckles. “Come on.” Jason pulls you along with him, his hand tangled with yours. “We’ll be back.” Jason peaks into the living room, giving Bruce a nod.

“Bye, Bruce!” You smile softly at him.

“Be careful,” Bruce states as the two of you head off.

"Okay, trust me, I think you'll like her." Jason beams, hands in the pockets of his pants as you walk the short distance to the door of a local coffee shop.

He's been friends with Molly for almost two years. Similar to you, Molly doesn't really take his shit but she lets him do his thing, she lets him be. She doesn't know everything but she's always been a good friend to him. Molly was the first person Jason even really considered a close friend. And introducing you to Molly, sure, is so you can have another friend because he believes wholeheartedly you'll get along. But, it's also another introduction to things that are his. Into his world. He doesn't have many friends, but he has Molly.

"Dunno, last girl I tried to be friends with, I punched her in the face." You chortle, watching as Jason grabs the handle of the door.

"Aren't you two good now?" He shakes his head in confusion,

"Yeah," You laugh and you can feel the nerves trickling into your throat. Meeting new people isn't always the most comfortable thing in the world. "I'm just saying though, that happened."

"Well, don't punch this one in the face, alright? She's cool, I swear." Jason assures you. "She also doesn't know about the whole Robin and Batman and Titans shit so don't say shit about that." Jason warns quietly, whispering in your ear before he opens the door.

"Yeah, figured that." You nod softly.

Jason holds the door open for you as you walk inside and he follows right behind you. You look around the coffee shop as Jason joins you at your side and then your eyes land on someone familiar sitting at a table alone near the windows. Your eyes widen as your stomach drops because it's Gotham sure but Gotham is a big enough city. Hell, you and Jason did have some overlap being homeless and you never crossed paths. But, this still seems so bizarre and you find it hard to believe.

The girl looks up from her phone, spotting Jason first and offers him a wide smile. But, then her eyes land on you beside him and her eyes go wide, the smile falling. Jason glances between the two of you, growing more confused by the second.

"Molly?" You nearly yell as you ignore Jason beside you.

“Y/n?” Molly gets up and starts the walk over to the both of you.

You meet Molly in the middle, your steps slow and you can't believe it's Molly. Your heart thunders in your ears as your eyes start to water. Molly pulls you into a hug as you meet in the middle and it's a piece home back in place for you. A part of you thought, maybe, you’d never see her again. Maybe you'd make the effort to never be seen again because that would easier than explaining everything but Molly hugs you and that would have been a bad decision.

"You know each other?" Jason questions as the two of you pull away.

"You know Jason?!" You and Molly question at the same time, looking to the boy who looks more confused than he has ever looked in his life.

"You first." You say.

"One of the shelters. My mom died not long after you took off. How about you?" Molly asks as she glances between the two of you, silently putting a few pieces together.

"Uhhh..." You look to Jason, realizing that explaining your story to someone you actually know makes the whole lying thing a little more difficult. Molly knows your tells. "It's a long story but San Francisco. He got Bruce to let me stay with them."

"Well, okay." Molly laughs, her eyes landing on you. "I've missed you." Molly's eyes grow teary.

You nod, the feeling in your chest growing heavy. "Me too. I'm....I'm so sorry about your mom. I-I should--"

"No, no, it's okay. You were processing yourself, it's okay. I tried to find you."

The guilt comes back, gnawing at your bones because you actively chose to be alone. It was your decision and you never had to leave Molly. Maybe had you just stuck it out, maybe you could have stayed. Her mom was like a second mom and maybe you and Molly could have worked something out. Then Molly wouldn't have been alone. You should have known. Social media is a thing.

"And you found Jason instead." You glance to him. "I am so sorry." You laugh.

"Fuck you." Jason groans but it turns into more of a laugh. "So, this is the friend you talked about in San Francisco?" Jason asks.

"Yeah." You nod.

"And she’s the friend that ran away?" Jason pieces everything together and he doesn't know how he didn't figure that out.

"Are you surprised?" Molly quips, looking back at you.

Jason lets out a laugh but his attention is only on you. "No, she does run."

"So do you." Your eyes widen as you snap your attention to Jason.

"Well, I got us a table." Molly gestures back to her spot.

The three of you make your way to Molly's table. Jason and you sit side by side while Molly sits across from you. It does not go unnoticed the way Jason pulled out your chair and the way you watched him until he sat down, almost subconsciously.

Molly raises a brow at the two of you. "Are you two...like?"

Both of you look like deer in headlights with the question. That question was a lot easier to answer a week ago but today it feels a little more complicated. Despite your agreement to keep this whole friends with benefits thing between the two of you, you both do not want to say no. But, you aren't together and you are friends so saying anything other than no, would be a lie.

"No." Jason lets out a breath, and he hates the bitter taste of the word. "She's just using me for a roof." Jason finds himself able to quip and he intentionally keeps his attention on Molly.

It stings, just a little but not because it's not true. But because you want to explain what you are to Molly. You want to brag about him.

"You literally offered. I was gonna just live on the streets." You quip back, holding your head high.

"Well, I wasn't gonna let you." Jason scoffs.

"No, we're friends. I just like to fuck with him." You look back to Molly and Molly swears there's something there. But, she brushes it off because she hasn't seen you in a long time and maybe that's all it is.

"Oh, so that hasn't changed." Molly laughs softly.

Molly and you get talking, catching up. You mostly ask about Molly to avoid talking about yourself. But, Molly has always been the mom friend. The caretaker of the two of you. You’ve never been one to want to talk about yourself, but you’re quieter than normal. You were living in San Francisco. There's a story there and you seem happy yet you aren't saying much. Maybe you’ve changed more than Molly thinks you have but it seems weird.

"Okay, that's enough about me. Tell me about you." Molly takes a sip of her coffee and you nearly stiffen in your seat. "What happened?"

Your voice sticks in the back of your throat and Jason actively sees your eyes go distant. Talking about the stuff with him is easy, he didn't know you before. There's no worry of disappointing him. None of this was your fault, but a part of you thinks telling Molly, will make Molly disappointed. Gar reminded you of Molly. Too kind for the world. Gives that look when something bad happens that you hate so much. And you tug down the sleeves of your hoodie. Jason rests a hand on your knee under the table, you looking back at him as if it snaps you out of your haunting thoughts. He offers you a grin and then a subtle shrug.

"Uh..." You shake your head. "I was, uh, I-I was living with this guy, foster care, and he moved us to San Francisco." You nod your head, trying to find a way to lie. "Uh, he was kind of down and out. He had something wrong with him." You roll your eyes, knowing that's an easy way to put it and then you come up with the lie. "He wasn't in any place to, uh, to care for anyone. I guess, so he called this guy he knew which was Dick and that's how I ended up meeting Jason. Dick already took him in so, ya know, that's kind of it, I guess."

Molly nods her head and she always knows when you’re lying. You have a bad poker face. And Jason can see Molly wanting to ask more questions, so he interjects, squeezing your knee before placing his hand on the table.

"Yeah, Dick wasn't so bad. If foster parents or shit got overwhelmed or financial shit came up, he'd offer a place. Wasn't all bad." Jason shakes his head and you swear he's the best person you’ve ever met. He's also a better liar.

Molly's brows furrow and she can't tell when Jason lies. He's better at it. "So, Bruce sent you to live with him and then you happened to get sent there, too?"

"Yeah, Dick was adopted by Bruce." Jason states. "So, kind of fit. Dick picked her up like a month later."

"Yeah, he just brought me back and Jason has been up my ass ever since." You send him a smirk before offering him a thankful nod and a nudge with your knee.

"He get you into trouble, too?" Molly asks, a teasing smile coming to her face.

"I didn't get you into that much trouble." Jason defends with a laugh.

"How many times were we chased by the cops?" Molly quips.

"Oh, there's a story there, share." You beam.

"He was teaching me how to get the hubcaps off cars." Molly's eyes widen slightly as if to be taunting Jason.

"Fucking hubcaps." You grit your teeth as you let out a sigh.

Jason lets out a booming laugh. "And she didn't get fucking caught, did you, Molly?"

"You got caught robbing cars?" Molly asks.

"Look, I tripped and the pavement was wet, okay? It's the city's fault!" You laugh.

"The city's fault," Molly repeats with the shake of her head.

"And hey, she got me into trouble." Jason lets out a huff and you glare at him. "You told me to turn Dick blue! Or that time we were eavesdropping but I was doing it to make fun of you and Rachel was giving me a death glare for fucking two days when she caught us. That time you got me to try and sneak out after Dick enforced a curfew just so we could go to a midnight premiere of a movie!" Jason shrugs his arm over the back of his chair as he faces you.

You beam as you laugh because getting him in trouble with Dick is one of your favorite pastimes. He makes it so easy. "Okay and what about the Nerf war you started and Dick nailed all of us later that night? Or that time you said it would be funny to change all of the passcodes to fucking 42069 or when it was your idea to bookmark the weirdest out-of-context shit we could think of on all the shared electronics? And turning Dick blue, was technically your idea, I just told you to do it."

"What...what did you bookmark?" Molly asks hesitantly.

Jason gains a smirk, snickering it himself. "Use your imagination."

"It was not porn." You assure her. "We just wanted Dick to have some serious questions and boy did he."

"See, it was fun." Jason defends his stance.

"You ever do that to Bruce?" You questions.

"Oh, I did bookmark porn." Jason cackles while Molly groans and you let out a scoff.

"Of course you did." Molly nods her head.

The conversation continues, Jason and you bouncing back and forth with stories, almost all of them about harassing Dick. But you both tell stories about Gar and Rachel, too. Movie nights and video games. Molly is attentive and the entire time, she grows more confused about your dynamic. Molly's known Jason long enough now and she deems them fairly close but she's never seen him like this before. Not with anyone. And Molly remembers how you were and this is new, too. She isn't going to badger either of you but she definitely takes notice in how Jason's hand keeps dodging under the table every so often and you look at him every single time.

"Here." Molly hands over her phone over to you. "Put in your number."

You take the phone with gentle hands, typing away and then Molly gets a glimpse at the fading ligature scars as your sleeves fall down. Molly looks directly at Jason and he just shakes his head quickly, silently pleading with her not to bring it up. You're having a good time. If Molly brings it up, Jason knows you will shut down as you fumble for another lie. He doesn't want this exchange to go that way. You're long-lost friends and you will tell her in your own time but now is clearly not when you want to discuss any of it. And Molly accepts the plea.

"Here.” You smile softly, handing the phone back to Molly.

"I’ll text you." Molly nods softly and she swallows her questions.

"Well, we should probably head out. Bruce has a thing for us later." Jason clears his throat, standing from his seat.

You look at your phone and know it's because Jason will want to get a sparring session in before he goes on patrol. "Forgot about that." You stand with Jason while Molly follows suit.

The two of you hug quickly, saying your goodbyes before Jason and you head for the door.

He didn't know Molly was your friend. You went through your social media and archived those posts before Jason followed you. It was easier that way, you told yourself. It's why you also soft-blocked her because while you wanted to reach out, the idea of doing so and her knowing you were alive somewhere was terrifying. You were terrified she'd be mad, never forgive you for it. That's not Molly but it was scary anyway. So, Jason didn't know. But, you find yourself eternally grateful anyway. And you think he's the only one who would have noticed your apprehension about talking.

Jason and you get to the bike. Jason gets on first while you stand off to the side. Jason is ready to go but you’re still watching him, your helmet on your hip. You’re looking at him and sometimes, you give him this stare where Jason thinks you might be able to see through him. Like, maybe you can see every thought that passes through his head. It almost makes him want to push. Just almost because he can never decipher exactly what the look means.

"What? Not getting on?" Jason asks, securing his helmet on his head.

"Thank you." You let out a breath. "You didn't have to cover for me."

Jason shrugs his shoulders and he knows the look isn't one of thanks because you don't get it every time he does something for you. That's not it either. "'Know you don't like talking about that shit. And you clearly didn't want to."

He wishes he had someone that would cover for him because sometimes, giving the same damn spiel about his mom and dad and uncle just gets a little tiring. That's why he always handles it nonchalantly. Not having to air out dirty laundry and baggage is a privilege and Jason thinks you should have that privilege, even if it's just for today.

"Yeah, but thanks. I don't think anyone would have been as quick as you were about it."

Jason nods his head. "Hey, look, I'm just glad you got your friend back." He'll always cover for you if you want him to.

"Yeah, now I have you, Gar, Molly, and Krypto." Your smile is so bright Jason thinks it could light up all of Gotham.

"He's still a dog." Jason quips back.

"He's still the bestest boy out of all of you." You hold your head up high, popping your helmet on your head.

"If you fucking call me the bestest boy, I will stop fucking talking to you."

"Awwww, you seem the type to have a praise kink though." You quip, getting on the back as Jason lets out a scoff, his words nearly lodging in his throat.

"Not according to my notes from last night." Jason chuckles. "That'd be you." He turns his head to look back at you and he's thankful for the helmet hiding the burning of his cheeks.

You slide your face shield down. "Oh, so you're taking notes?"

Jason nearly chokes on his own laugh. "Fuck off. You ready?"

"I guess." You mock him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist.

Back at Wayne Manor, the two of you change into athletic wear and meet in the training room. You spar as per usual. Jason beats you every time. But you’re getting better. Every time you spar, Jason finds himself impressed because you pick up a lot on what he does and then mimic it. It's not helping you in sparring him, but he's completely confident it will help you in any real fight with anyone else. It's smart.

After your showers, Jason starts food for the both of them. You help as much as Jason will let you. This is his element and you find it endearing. You watch him and listen when he tells the story of how Alfred taught him. He's so airy about it, enthusiastic, and a little sad. He didn't know Alfred very long before he died but he clearly meant a lot to Jason. And you think you could listen to him all night if he'll keep talking.

Once dinner is done, you, Jason, and Bruce eat together. You and Jason mostly talk about meeting up with Molly and Jason learning from Alfred because he decided to bake cookies at four in the morning and woke him up. It's actually the first time you’re seeing Bruce in this light and for the first time, you kind of understand Jason's view of him. Just kind of. He doesn't seem so bad.

After dinner, you and Jason do the dishes. Jason washes while you dry. Jason glances over to you every so often and some of this almost makes him feel uneasy. It's easy with you and it feels normal but easy and normal aren't things he normally gets to experience. He's a vigilante superhero. That's not normal or easy but this feels that way with you. Cooking dinner, doing the dishes. He wonders if this will always be like this. Just him and you doing the dishes before patrol. And he gets this small hint of a smile at the thought of it because he almost has a feeling of security in thinking about the future with you.

And then you snap him from his thoughts, picking up your leg and bending your knee to kick him in the butt. Your laugh reverberates against the walls and Jason's heart skips at the sound. And he has to laugh with you, splashing the soapy water at you.

"Fuck you." Jason chortles, his nose scrunching.

"Time and place, Jay." You beam up at him and Jason gains his signature smirk, licking his lips.

"Got time before patrol." Jason states.

"Don't wanna wear you out." You quip as Jason hands you the last plate.

"Like to see you try, babe.” Jason wiggles his brows while your cheeks start to burn. “Hey," Jason shakes his head. "You wanna see if you can come out with us tonight?" Jason asks.

He's been wanting to ask all week. You’ve seemed to be enjoying your break away from being a vigilante and Jason doesn't really understand that part of you. But you did say you'd want to get back out there. He figures maybe tonight could be the night.

"Why? You want me to come?" You flash him a grin as he dries his hands and tosses the towel to the side.

Jason looks up with his eyes, a smirk dancing over his lips. "Maybe."

You shake your head, resting the dry plate to the side as you turn around, leaning your back against the counter. "Maybe another time, bring it up to Bruce." You smirk at him and you are wanting to get back out there. It's only been a few weeks but you miss it. That night with Jason, last week was so fun, sure, Bruce will be there. But it's something and you get can back to feeling useful if Bruce will let you.

"Yeah?" Jason's heart jumps to his throat and wants to reach and grab your waist.

"Yeah, kicking ass with you is fun." You give him a wild smile and he thinks he's going to combust.

"Alright, I'll ask." Jason nods his head and you get the sight a sheepish but accomplished smile on his lips. He's just so damn cute. "Wanna check out the Batcave before we have to get ready?"

"Uh, yeah." You state quickly. "Finally."

Jason takes your hand in his and leads you to the grandfather clock in the living room. Jason changes the time on the clock making the grandfather clock slide across the floor, leading into a stone hallway. You find that to be a weird point of access but it is hidden and kind of cool. You'll give Bruce that.

On the walk through the cave, going deeper under the house, Jason gives you a rundown of the rules. No joyrides in the Batmobile, don't tell anyone or show anyone. Simple rules that you already figured but Jason was told to make sure to go over them even though Jason knows Bruce will later anyway.

"This is it." Jason stretches his arms out as you enter the Batcave, passing by some tech and a hallway where you can see the Batmobile sitting.

It really is a cave. You aren't sure exactly what you expected, but you didn't think the cave thing was literal. And yet. Here you are, standing in a massive cave under Wayne Manor. There are things from the Riddler, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, and several other of Gotham's most notorious almost on display throughout the cave. You spot a dinosaur off to the side and you almost ask. You almost ask what the fuck but decide it's probably better you don't know why Bruce has a T-rex in the Batcave.

"It's literally a cave under his house." You state in awe as you reach one of the display cases that holds the Robin suit.

"Yeah." Jason chuckles, looking to his shoes and back to you. "Bats and caves go hand in hand."

"I guess." You laugh softly as you eye the Robin suit. "Your suit always like this?"

"Yeah." Jason nods his head. "Only comes out when we're out or when I'm traveling. Bruce's in another case hidden away." Jason explains.

"Interesting." You nod your head. It's weird seeing it on display but now you get the display room back at the tower. It was a Bruce thing. "And the batcomputer?" You ask, turning around to see a giant computer sitting in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, that's where a lot of it goes down. Researching, tracking those freaks down." Jason boasts and he does love this gig.

You think he's cute when he talks about it. His entire face lights up every single time. It means the entire world to him. And you wonder why, if it's more than just him wanting to be helpful and wanting to feel useful. But, you decide maybe she won't ask.

"This is so sick," You beam back at him. "Batman whatever, but this shit is cool." You’re amazed, looking around. You never thought you'd be in the actual Batcave at any point in your life.

"Right?" Jason agrees, leaning his lower back against the desk under the computer screens.

You walk up to him and stand right in front of him, Jason eying you carefully. It's as if every day, he shows you something new and you like him that much more. You see parts of him no one else is ever allowed to and you’re seeing the Batcave which might be Bruce's but it's Jason's, too. And you like that this is how it is. You like where you are and how you are. You like him, all of him. But you look at him with a satisfied and happy grin as you look around the Batcave and the dangers of it all settle into the marrow of your bones.

You all lost Donna. You know already. But seeing the Batcave is another reminder of what he does as Robin. No powers. Just human doing his best out there to help people. And that part scares you. Worried he won't come home one day. So, you close the distance between you and swear you won't ever tell him that.

You smirk, instead, Jason's eyes darting you up and down. "What's up?" Jason nods his head, his hands still gripping the desk under him.

You shrug, cupping his face before you press your lips to his. It sucks the breath right out of him and he doesn't miss a beat, bringing his hands to your hips and yanking you as close to him as possible. Your mouths intertwine into one and Jason lives for this. It's the not talking shit that you do. It’s the way you can kiss him now and know that's it.

You kiss and then sometimes more happens, or sometimes this is all it is. And that works for him because he's allowed to like you from this distance. He's allowed to let his heart and his blood adjust to the idea of it. To the idea of trusting another person like this. It allows him time to be careful with himself and with you. He can be sure you won't hurt each other like this. And he loves the way your mouth moves with his.

You pull away, your hands lightly gliding over his shoulders. "Don't do anything fucking stupid tonight, Jay." There's a flicker of worry that crosses your eyes, for just a split second and Jason can see it.

Jason squeezes your hips, a sign of reassurance. "Of course not." Jason chuckles. "Got a plan."

"Mhm." You hum. "Always got a plan."

"Always, babe." Jason furrows his brows, letting a smirk come to his lips. "Don't worry so much.".

You shrug a shoulder. "Someone has to."

Jason laughs softly, squeezing your hips again. "I'll be fine." Jason moves his hand to your chin moving your face closer to his again. "I got it." His voice goes a little graveled before he kisses you again.

Jason and Bruce get ready to leave not long after Jason and you come back from the Batcave. This leaves you alone in the Manor again. You don't mind it much, but it gives you a little bit more space to think and you were never a huge fan of thinking.

Your mind goes back to the tower that night it was attacked. And you wonder what would happen if someone figured out Bruce was Batman and then attacked the manor. What if it happens when they're not home? What if it's people like CADMUS? Where there's a lot of them and they're strong and you’re outnumbered? What if they want metahumans? The panic starts to set in so you go to your room and lock the door, grabbing a few of your knives.

You place one of the switchblades under your pillow, making sure it's locked before doing so. And then you place another in both of your nightstands, making sure there's always one around. Then you hide one on top of the fireplace in the middle of the room, just in case. When you’re done, you sit down with a knife in hand and pull out your phone.

You call Gar who, naturally answers after only a few rings. You talk every day still so you calling didn't send up any red flags. You kick off the conversation by asking how things are going and what he's up to. Gar asks the same back and you just say you’re kind of freaked yourself out a little and you’re trying to be honest about it. You know you’re just being paranoid but you’re freaked out anyway. So, Gar offers to stay on the phone with you until the Titans have to leave.

You keep in touch with the Titans regularly. Dick and Kory check in with you every so often to make sure everything is going okay. It's kind of nice actually. Being across the entire country and still having them on your side. You didn't really expect it but it is nice and you appreciate it. And talking with Gar is helping a little. So, when Gar says he has to go, you finds yourself getting up and grabbing your scrapbooking things before sitting back on the bed and turning on a movie.

It's after three by the time Jason and Bruce get home. You can hear them come in so you get up to unlock and up open your door, assuming Jason will find his way to you once he's changed and showered.

It's less than fifteen later when Jason appears in your doorway. Jason gets a look at you sitting cross-legged on your bed, your scrapbook stuff scattered about your entire bed and a knife sitting just off to the side. His brow quirks at it but he thinks maybe you needed it for something. And he goes back to thinking about you being beautiful and content like this. In your element with a movie on, in pajamas. And he can't help but smile softly.

"Hey." Jason says, keeping his stance. But his voice is a little groggy and he hates the way it sounds.

"How'd it go?" You ask, barely glancing at him to not seem too eager to see him.

But there's silence that follows. Seeing you, it brought him a sense of relief and comfort. A stark contrast to what he's actually feeling right about now. Patrol did not go well. And he can't lie because you'll look over at him fully eventually and call his bluff. So, instead, he hangs his head and lets the silence swallow him hole.

You look over, not liking the silence and your entire face falls at the sight of him You quickly get up from the bed and close the distance between you. It's hard. You've been injured together and you see him with bruises all the time, but it's hard. He's in pain, taking hits and getting hurt. And it hurts to see him beat up and feeling beat up. At least most nights when he comes home with a bruise, he's got that cocky grin and some story about kicking someone's ass. But, that's not the look he's giving you right now and it hurts.

"What the hell happend?" You ask, looking over his face, your hand lightly coming up to cup his jaw.

There's a light red bruise hugging his opposite jaw, a purple bruise starting right under his eye, and, blood is still dripping down the side of his face and his lip. There's a cut on his neck and Bruce was there. How did he even manage to get hurt?

Jason shrugs, a dullness in his usually vibrant eyes. "Did not go to plan." He looks exhausted.

You know he hasn't been sleeping much but this is bad. He looks defeated and you don't understand how he's managing to get so beat up when Bruce is supposed to be beside him. It doesn't make any sense.

"Fucks sake, Jay." You shake your head. "Come on." You reach down for his hand and drag him to the bathroom that sits between your rooms.

Jason takes a seat on the counter directing you to one of the cabinets that has all of the first aid supplies.

Jason's hands are shaking as he tries to calm down, resting them in his lap as he waits. A part of him doesn't even want your help right now. He wants to fight this. Fight everything and everyone around him, it should have been fine tonight. He's done this a million times but then he gets so fucking lost in his head, he loses it. It's not fair. And he's terrified Bruce is gonna catch on and take Robin away. How is he supposed to be Robin if he can't fight crime without getting hurt?

"Are you okay?" You ask, grabbing an alcohol pad to start cleaning the cut on his forehead.

"I'm fine." Jason grits his teeth.

"What happened?" You clean up the blood softly before moving up the cut, Jason barely even flinching with the sting.

"Just some fucking bullshit." The worst part is, he doesn't even know what actually happened. He just knows he paused again and all he can feel through his entire bloodstream is shame.

"That's descriptive," You state, glancing to his face and searching for any sign of anything other than exhaustion but you come up empty.

"It doesn't fucking matter, I fucked up again." Jason's scoff is bitter while you grab another alcohol pad and start cleaning the cut on his neck. Jason hisses in return, scrunching his nose.

"Did you?" You ask, looking to his eyes and then back to the cut.

"Clearly."

"Just because you got hurt doesn't mean you fucked up, Jay." You keep your voice level and calm, knowing this side of him all too well.

"Bruce said I did." Jason mutters and you pull away, tossing the alcohol pad in the trash.

"What do you mean?" Your brows furrow as you grab a gauze pad, lightly holding it to his head to stop the bleeding.

"Didn't listen, went off on this guy before Bruce was ready."

"Okay, so what happened?" You press.

You don't get it. Why would he do that? He's capable but why wouldn't he just listen to Bruce? It's not like this is new to either of them. It doesn't make any sense.

"Doesn't fucking matter." His voice is snippy but defeated and you get a glimpse at his shaky hands.

"Jay, hey, look, I'm worried about you, okay?" You eye him carefully deciding not to ask why he would do that. He's beating himself enough without you badgering him about his decision-making. "Your hands are still shaking." You offer a subtle nod, placing your free hand on top of his.

"Just an adrenaline dump." Jason brushes it off. He doesn't need you disappointed and worrying too much.

"Are you sure?" You aren't buying it. His hands shook like this after Deathstroke.

"Yeah, I'm fucking fine, alright? It's just bullshit, should have had him and I don't know. I don't know what happened."

It's not you. It'll never be you that's the problem but he can't stand the way he can't do anything anymore without being paralyzed with fear. And he hates how he can feel the burning in the back of his eyes because it's like he's losing his ability to be good at the one thing he always felt good enough for. Robin. And who he is if he can't do that anymore? And he’s just so damn mad at himself.

You nod softly. "Okay, well, if you're not, you can tell me. I won't tell Bruce." You try your best to reason with him.

You’re worried. And when he looks like this, every part of you wants to fight the entire universe for him. All you want is to make it all go away for him. And you just want him to be okay again.

Jason thinks about telling you. You won't judge him or be mad like Bruce. You'll nod and tell him it's not his fault. But he can't do that to you because he knows you worry about him. You’ve never kissed him before patrol before. He's not that dense.

"I'm fine, I don't know what happened, really." Jason urges and he gains a smile, placing his hand over yours that's holding the gauze. "Don't worry so fucking much."

"I'm always gonna worry about you, Jay," You roll your eyes and grab the butterfly stitches. And you pause for a second, sucking in a breath and decide to bite down your question. But Jason can see it picking at you as you go to place the stitches.

"What?" Jason questions, looking up at you.

You shake your head and you want to ask him if he's ever thought about taking a break to take care of himself but you think maybe he'll take it the wrong way right now. He's beating himself up enough and asking that now is going to make it worse. But, you help but can't worry about him and there's something off. You can see it across his face.

"I want to ask you something but I think you're gonna take it the wrong way and push me away." You state, keeping your stare on the cut.

He's looking up at you, watching as his heart stops in his chest. He doesn't want to push you away but if it's a question you’re worried about, he knows he's not going to like it. Maybe he will push. And that's not very fair to you.

"I won't." Jason states, letting a breath fall harshly into the air.

"Promise? Because I don't mean anything by it." You tread lightly and you know him. You’re going to ask and he's going to get mad.

"Okay." Jason’s voice is flat.

You place the final stitch before you make eye contact with him and place your hand over his in his lap. They're cold and Jason's hands are never cold.

"Have....have you thought...about taking a break from Robin?"

Jason feels his stomach fall a hundred stories. His heart stutters and everything feels cold. How could you possibly ask him that? Just because a break works for you, doesn't mean it'll work for him. You know how much Robin means to him and you’re asking him anyway. How can you ask that of him?

"You don't want me to be Robin?!" Jason barks, his brows pulling into a harsh line and you knew he'd take it the wrong way.

"No." You shake your head. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm just--"

"What?! Bruce thought I needed a fucking break!" Jason pulls his hands from yours and you take a step back. "Dick wouldn't fucking let me and look where that lead us! Taking a fucking break doesn't do fucking shit!"

"Hey, no, that's not what I'm saying, Jay. They forced a break onto you!" You yell back. "I mean you, have you thought about taking a break for you? On your own terms. Not for them. Fuck them. You know damn well I am on your side 100% of the time."

"But you're asking! You don't think I'm good enough for--"

"Shut up." You cut him off. "Don't put that shit on me because I didn't say anything. I asked you a question. Don't try and read between lines that aren't there. I am asking you because I am worried and I know you don't like it but that's just too damn bad, Jay. You ARE good enough. I'm taking a break and what? Do you think I'm not good enough for it?"

Jason pauses. "No...you are." Jason scoffs. "But I didn't fucking ask you to!"

"I know! And I'm not asking you to." You shake your head. "I don't even know if I think you need a break, but if I did, I still would never ask you to take a break. It's not my place to ask that of you. I--" You feel your heart skip and you are terrified of losing him. That's what this whole thing boils down to. You can't lose him. "I just..."

"What?" Jason asks but this time, he lacks some of the venom, getting the sense something's going on.

"I...I just..." You stutter because you have so much to say and none of the words will come out. They stick to your vocal cords as if it's a lifeline to everything you’ve come to adore over the last few months. "You....you go out every night with Bruce and...." The lump grows in your throat as your brows furrow and Jason feels the guilt seep into his blood. Maybe your question wasn't about him. "I don't know." You shake your head. "You're human, ya know? No powers and...I know that, obviously. Deathstroke and shit but uh...I don't know."

"What?" Jason pushes and there's a fear that creeps into his voice.

You almost tell him you’re worried about him not coming home. You almost tell him that if he goes out one night and doesn't come home, you'd lose it entirely. You almost tell him he's it for you. But, none of those words make their way to the surface because what you two are is fun and what you are isn't too pressured and what you are allows you both to exist in a simple bubble. What you are allows you both a safe distance from pain.

Jason thinks this is gonna be it. This is gonna be where you finally say the words and it changes everything. He's not ready to commit to it. It still scares the ever-living shit out of him and he also knows that turning you down again would be miserable. To go back to being just friends? Nothing else? That is agonizing. So, he sits nearly paralyzed, waiting to see where this going.

"I'm just worried about you, Jay." You stick to your usual form of concern and Jason can't figure out why his heart just fell into the pit of his stomach.

Jason lets out a breath that’s almost painful. He needs a way to reassure you that he’s fine. But, he swears that’s going to be harder than it should be. You see through every piece of bullshit he’s thrown at you. But, he has to try anyway because Jason has to believe he’ll be fine and that he’s just a little off. It’ll all be fine in the end. He just needs a little more time.

"Don't worry so much." Jason states and extends his arm out for you. You close the distance between you, standing between his legs. "I'm fine, alright? You don't have shit to worry about. I'm just a little off my game. It's not a thing."

You rest your forehead against his and Jason lets out a relieved breath. "I, um...." You pause for a second. "Just really care about you. Not sure what I would do if I lost you, ya know?"

He has never had anyone so afraid of losing him before. It's foreign. He doesn't know how to process it or what to do with it. He can't stop being a vigilante and deep down, he knows you would never ask him to stop and he doesn't even really believe you want him to. But, you make valid points and he also knows that if it were you coming like he does, he'd be worried, too.

Jason pulls away, cupping your face with is hands. "You're not gonna lose me, alright?" Jason gets a cheeky grin. "I'm fine."

He wants to push and run and flee. He wants to get the hell away from this conversation. It's the exposure of being a little vulnerable. Before, he could get used to it but now you both have that added layer of benefits and you’re saying you’re terrified of him dying and he feels so exposed.

Sun exposure can lead to skin cancer. Smoke exposure can lead to lung cancer, COPD, and smoke inhalation, all of which are deadly. Exposure to elements while being unprepared is also deadly. Exposure is deadly and he feels that fear knocking and pounding at the back of his head and against his rib cage. 

And yet he finds himself wondering how someone who also hates being so exposed, just like him, is finding it in yourself to expose that part of you. You don't stutter much around him anymore but you just did, a lot, which means you were nervous. Exposed but you did it anyway for him and he doesn't fucking get it. It might as well be rocket science at this point.

And if he weren't so damn terrified of exposure and commitment and everything around him, he'd tell you he's afraid of losing you, too.

So, instead of running or pushing like he so desperately wants to do, he rests his forehead back against yours while your eyes close. Your thumbs run over his thighs and you fall into a silence as if knowing there should be more said in this conversation. But neither one of you are willing to say it.

Jason's heart is beating against his ribs and he thinks his heart is directly beating in search for yours. Maybe it's always been beating for a place to call home and it longs for yours because you’re the closest thing to home he's ever felt. And he wishes he could just tell you that.

But where words fail, actions can speak.

He pulls away, and lifts your chin, kissing your lips gently and softly. He can feel you smile against him and it brings him a sense of ease. The night still weighs heavy on his chest and in his stomach but you kiss him back, just as gently, and it makes the night seem a little easier to swallow. The way you kiss him, makes it a little easier for him to swallow the words he wishes he could say.

"What was that for?" You ask softly because he's never kissed you like that before.

"Thanks for giving a shit about me." Jason lets out a breath.

You let out a laugh, your nose scrunching. "Always." You suck in a breath and you want to understand every part of him. Jason isn’t all that hard to figure out but there are some things you realize you’ve never asked. And all you ever want to do is to be there for him and understand him, just as he does for you. "Can I ask you something?" You ask, pulling away to finish tending to the cut on his neck.

"Sure." Jason tilts his head so you can have better access to the cut.

"Why does Robin mean so much to you?" You glance to him, seeing his brows pull together in a harsh line. "I'm just wondering. I never asked before."

Jason lets out a breath. "I get to help people." Jason states. "Get to kickass with Batman every night, it's the sickest gig in the world." Jason chortles and his laugh makes your heart warm.

"That it? Get to kick some ass helping people?" You ask but the corner of your mouth is tugged up.

"I'm good at it." Jason states as you finishes placing the gauze pad.

His entire life, he's never felt good enough but he's always had this heart of gold. He's always just wanted to help and be helpful. That's it. And Robin lets him do that in such a big way. He doesn't even have the right words to describe it and a part of him doesn't even want to because he thinks it might sound lame out loud. But, he can see you offering him a soft smile.

"Yeah, you are the better Robin." You laugh softly.

"Yeah, thanks." Jason chuckles softly and he plays a big game but it's hard filling in Dick's shoes sometimes. "Just feel fucking important I guess. Like what I do matters."

You pause, your brows furrowing and you’re making it your mission to always make sure he feels important. You place your hands on his thighs while Jason's hands come to your hips. "I am not Robin but, uh, you're important to me, too, ya know? Even without Robin."

Heat rises to Jason's cheeks and he never really knows what to say when you say something like that. "Thanks." He clears his throat because he's worried this might go to a talk of sorts with the comment and he doesn't want it to go there. It can't go there. "What were you working on?"

"Scrapbook." You state and you decide to let him switch the conversation.

"What's it about?"

"It's a secret," You tease him, looking back at him before you grab a wet rag and start cleaning the cut on his lip.

"Come on," Jason groans, smirking under your touch. "Can't even tell me?"

"Nope." You pop the p and your mouth is tugged into a grin.

"Wow, thought there were no secrets between us." The sarcasm drips from his words.

You pull away and grin at him. "Oh, that are plenty of secrets, Jason Todd."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Jason's voice drops and he knows what you’re doing.

"They wouldn't be secrets if I told you." Your eyes widen at him.

He wants to hear all of your secrets. All the good, the bad, and the ugly. Jason holds many secrets close to his chest and you do, too but he wants to know yours. He'd be willing to sit and tell you more of his if you can do the same. You’re the only one he's ever felt that way with. He wants to know every detail.

"Tell me one." His voice goes soft, catching you off guard.

You rest the rag in the sink, placing your hands back on his thighs. "Then you have to tell me one." Your eyes narrow slightly, a smirk dancing over your lips.

Jason gets a smirk, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips. "Deal."

You think all of your secrets are about him. He knows everything else. You’ve told him it all whether he knows it or not. The only ones you have left are the ones about him and those are the ones most guarded. They are yours. They stay locked behind your ribcage to keep you and Jason like this. Flirt and fun and no strings attached. But, he's got these big green eyes that make your secrets want to spill out carelessly.

"Okay, are we having a discussion about these secrets or not?" You ask bluntly and you want to know what's safe to tell him now. You don't want the talk yet. What you're doing is fun and easy. You don't want to complicate it just yet.

Jason shakes his head. "Nope." He doesn't want the talk either. This is comfortable. He wants to be comfortable a little bit longer with you.

"It was always you." Your voice is so quiet Jason almost doesn't hear you and Jason just eyes you as your eyes divert to your hands slightly gripping his thighs.

If things didn't get complicated with Rose and the attack on the tower, and if he wouldn't have pushed you away and if you wouldn't have run, you would have told him. You would have just said the words but all of those things happened. And while you don't want that conversation right now because things would change too much too soon, you do want him to know. He beats himself up when things go wrong and Jason thinks he's not worthy of being cared for or important to other people. He deserves to know.

His heart nearly stops in his chest. He racks his brain, trying to figure out exactly what that means because it cannot mean what he thinks it means. But he's almost positive there can't be anything else you mean by that. He remembers every conversation you’ve ever had and you wouldn't tell him something he wouldn't remember. The only thing that comes to his head is him and Gar. And that thought is banging and pounding against his ribcage, trying to thrash its way out into the open air and ask. To verify that's true. But, he can't. His ribcage stays closed and locked and guarded.

"Don't dig into it." You state as you finally look back at him and see the gears in his head start to move. "Your turn."

Jason bounces too many secrets around on his head. He could tell her so many. He's thought about kissing you since that day in the training room where you told him what happened to you. He wishes he would have kissed you both of those nights in the bathroom. He should have asked you to leave with him. But all of those seem too heavy and he knows you will want to dig into them. That's not fair to you. He won't do that. And that’s why he doesn’t tell you it should have been you, it’s always been you. You deserve to know, too but you’ll dig and he knows you will. That’s not fair. So, he picks something else that's still honest, but not something that'll bother you.

"I like when you help me like this. Never liked when Bruce or Alfred would offer." Jason’s voice is soft but a little hesitant.

You offer him a gentle smile and you actually expected him to say something less serious, something more of a joke. You were okay with that. So, this is surprising.

"I'll always clean you up." You laugh softly.

Jason isn't gonna talk about it. Not even that, it's too much tonight so instead, he pulls you closer to him before sliding his hands up to your face and bringing your lips to his.

Over the next few weeks, things continue as normal. You and Jason continue your new arrangement and it's going well. You've managed to keep it between the two of you, not even realizing Bruce and Molly have definitely figured something was going on. You're existing in your own bubble together. Bruce upped your training so he knows what you’re capable of. He's happy to have you along on patrol but he's going to make sure you’re safe just as he did with Jason and Dick.

Training with Bruce is different than Dick and Jason. Dick was defensive, Jason is offensive, and Bruce is a mix of both as well as observing. But, you follow along with him just fine and Bruce has you fitted for a suit because if someone is going on patrol with him, they need extra protection. And you’ve felt comfortable enough on the bike, with Jason's teaching, that you applied for a motorcycle license and are just waiting for the all-clear. Jason assures you that they approve most people and you don't need a standard license to even apply. So, you’re not worried.

Now though, you’re hanging out with Molly at Molly's apartment in Crime Alley. You've been hanging out a lot more and you feel so happy. You were best friends your entire lives and you missed her. It's why you never mentioned her by name. Keeping her name out of your mouth, kept the ache of missing her at a distance. But you're back together and Molly missed you, too. She always worried you found yourself dead somewhere. She's relieved you were just across the country.

"I missed this place." You let a sigh, opening the take-out box.

"I swear, we'd eat there every weekend. I haven't had this is forever." Molly laughs softly. It was your favorite place, eating there hurt.

"Really? This was the first place I wanted to hit when I got back. Jason and me went the very next day I was here." You beam.

"Oh, you took Jason to your favorite take-out place?" Molly asks with a grin, her sitting down and opening her own take-out back.

"Yeah! He needs to experience it, too." You defend. "Why?"

"Just funny." Molly laughs softly. "Seems nothing has changed though. Getting the same order."

"And the place looks the exact same." You gesture your fork at Molly. "Tim still helping out, just as a full-time employee now."

"Yeah, instead him running orders in between doing his homework," Molly laughs and Tim is the son of the owners of the restaurant.

The three of you aren't friends by any means but you've had your fair share of conversations over the years. Tim was always in the restaurant when you and Molly would pop in and the natural order of things would be to talk to people around the same age.

"Feels so homey." You smile softly.

Your phone vibrates and Molly has noticed your face lights up when you check it. You start typing and there's this smile on your lips that warms Molly's heart. You’ve always been a little cynical, just a little. But you were also happy. It's just, Molly hasn't seen you like this and you’ve been different. In some ways a good different and in others, not so much.

"How are you? It's been a few weeks and I haven't asked in a while. I wanted to give you some space." Molly’s voice is kind as she starts on her food.

"I'm really good, actually." You answer honestly.

You’re still having nightmares and you look over your shoulder still. But, you don't feel nearly as paranoid. The nightmares are slowing down. You’re getting a little more sleep. And then there's Jason. He makes you feel so at ease with everything.

"Good, you look happy." Molly’s smile is gentle and warm.

"Yeah..." You let out a soft sigh. You aren't sure you’ve ever been this happy as you type away as at a text which is of course just Jason asking what you and Molly are up to.

"So...you and Jason...?" Molly raises a brow at you.

"What about us?" You answer slowly, resting your phone on the table.

"You like him." Molly teases softly.

"Do I?" You quip.

"Yes. You have never been more obvious about something in your life." Molly laughs.

"What do you mean?" You snort with the shake of your head.

It's not so much that you care that Molly knows. It's that you know Molly and you know Molly is going to have a whole lot of questions as to why you haven't told him yet. In order for you to answer that honestly, you would have to tell Molly about Deathstroke which means Robin and you can't do that.

"Well, no one calls him Jay so there's that. You two are always touching each other in some way which is very uncharacteristic of the both of you. The way you guys joke with each other. You talk about him a lot. You talk about the other people but not like you talk about Jason. Then there's the way you look at—"

"Okay." You cut your off, getting the point. You didn't realize you made it so obvious. "I get it."

"So?" Molly presses.

"Yeah, he just...." You pause and a sad smile comes to your lips. "I really, really like him and he's such a brat, ya know? But...I don't know. He's...good. I don't know, he gets me and I get him. It's like we don't even have to talk to get it, I guess." Your brows furrow. "I don't know."

"He likes you, too you know?" Molly pokes at her food.

"How do you figure?" You chuckle and you’re always hoping he does but you highly doubt that’s a detail Jason told Molly.

"He watches you. Like, always. When he says something he thinks is funny, he immediately looks at you to see if you laugh which, by the way, you always do and Jason isn't that funny." Molly teases and it gets a laugh out of you. "He's really protective of you, I mean, he is with most but it's different with you, remember when we saw that move last week?"

"Yes?" You question and you’re not entirely sure what that has to do with anything.

It went as it always does when you go to see a movie. You tease Jason about how few movies he’s seen and he calls you a nerd and tells you to get out more. As far as you remember, it went as it always does.

"There was a guy eyeing you and you were oblivious to it because you were too busy watching Jason but Jason was staring that guy down so hard, I thought Jason was going to walk over and hit him, the guy left. If looks could kill, that guy would have been dead. Also, don't tell him I told you this, okay?"

"Okay?"

"When he came back, he told me about this girl and I've never heard him talk like that about someone before. He said she drove him insane but was also one of the coolest people he's ever met. And he missed her. I kind of thought he was talking about Rose. Like he wasn't over her because he said he was excited this girl was coming to Gotham but then you walked into the coffee shop that day and I knew he was talking about you not Rose. So, for what it's worth, he likes you."

Jason looped Molly in about Rose when he got back. He didn't tell her much but he did tell her. So, when Jason was also talking about this other girl, Molly kind of figured it'd be Rose because Jason, as long as Molly has known him at least, hasn't been with many people. It's not all that shocking with his inability to let people in so Molly always thought it was Rose. But, she watches Jason and you and realizes all those good things she's heard, were always about you. Not Rose. And Molly, for one, thinks the two of you would be good together.

A soft, sheepish smile tugs at your lips as your heart burns in your chest. "I didn't realize he talked about me."

It's a little surprising since it's Jason. But, your heart warms with the idea of him telling anyone about you. And him being excited for you to be in Gotham with him.

"You know Jason, super open and great at communication." Molly laughs softly. "So, have you told him?"

You shake your head. "No..." You mutter as you take a drink of your drink.

"Why not!? You always tell people and he likes you, too." Molly groans and Jason, she completely understands not saying anything but you? Not so much.

"It's complicated." You let out a sigh knowing complicated is an easy way to put it.

"Life is too short and you like him, he likes you. What's so complicated?"

You run every reason through your head. Deathstroke, almost dying, Gar, Rose, not wanting to get hurt again. Not wanting to Jason to die for you and Jason not wanting you to die for him. The whole idea of a relationship is terrifying. You’re both a little bit of mess at this exact point in time. The endless trauma that seems to follow you both around. And friends with benefits is fun. There are several reasons why this is complicated but most of those you can’t tell her. But, you can tell her one reason.

"I....okay...I can't tell you everything and I'm asking you to not ask about everything, okay? It's not my shit to tell. I can't tell you without telling you everyone else's shit and that's not fair."

"Okay?" Molly nods her head slowly, her brows furrowing together, unsure what you could possibly mean by any of that.

"So, uh....you just have to take what I tell you and don't ask questions and do not dig, I know you love to dig into things, so please don't."

"Okay, but you're freaking me out." Molly forces a small laugh.

"It's fine. But, look, something happened and uh....we got hurt. And I kissed him." You cut out every other important detail, knowing that likely makes very little sense.

"You did?!"

"Yeah, and I uh, I don't know. We went back home and we helping each other out and he told me he couldn't. He had his reasons and I...I agreed with him enough, I guess. And he said, that I was into Gar and he was into Rose anyway it wouldn't work with us. And that was the end of it." You poke your food with a fork because maybe that conversation still stings a little bit.

"You did it again." Molly groans as she she shakes her head.

"Yep." You nod your head. "I know, I realized that later. I should have fought but I did like Gar and he liked Rose. Those were facts we both knew. So, I Iet him push and I ran. And now, I'm....worried if I tell him, he won't pick me again and that'll suck. I know I put Gar in that shitty situation and that's not fair but I don't want him to push again. It just sucked."

You’re not a pick-me person but it hurt anyway. And you know that the odds of Jason pushing again, after everything and with where you stand right now, are probably pretty slim. But, there is that chance because he kissed you back that night, too. He never said he didn’t like you. But, that’s also a very, very small reason for not telling him. You think you could suck up the fear of it if it weren’t for everything else but you can’t tell Molly that. You can just give her this one, miniscule reason. 

"Right, but you let him. And I'm telling you he likes you. What's the worst that can happen if you tell him?" Molly shrugs her shoulders.

"We'd have to talk about it and neither of us want to." You chortle.

"So don't? You tell him and then he tells you and that can be the end of it, you don't need to have this whole contract discussed and signed about it."

"Yeah..." You let out a sigh. "There is more to it but that's what I can tell you."

"We'll, regardless, you should tell him. You would be good together." Molly shrugs softly, a cheeky smile pulling at her lips.

"I will, I swear. But, we're just having fun right now and I think we're both comfortable here for now." You take a bite of your food with the shrug of your shoulders. "What about you?" You ask changing it back to Molly. "Seeing anyone?"

Molly laughs softly, getting the hint to switch subjects. "Kind of. There's a girl, Sheila."

“Oh, Sheila?” Your eyes widen. “Go on.” You urge with a wide smile.

When you get back of the Manor, you go looking for Jason. While things are getting better for you, they almost seemed to have stalled for Jason. He feels happy. That's not the issue. The issue is patrolling as Robin and then the lack of sleep. His nightmares are several times a week and he can't bring himself to sleep some nights. He lays with you and you fall asleep. He never expects you or wants you to stay up and suffer with him. Everything is just hard. And he's so angry about it.

He's scared of everything that moves sideways and he never used to be like that. He couldn't afford to be like that. All he does is feel weak and every time he fucks up on patrol, it gets worse. He feels that much more like a failure and disappointment to Bruce. Every time a nightmare hits, he feels worse. And he hates that his leg still hurts. It's not fair and he's fine, usually. He deals with it. But, there are some days, like today, when the world feels a little heavier.

"Hey." You greet him quietly as you walk into the library, Jason seated on the couch against the windows with a book open.

He looks over the book and he smiles, almost subconsciously. "Hey, how's Molly?"

"Good, we got food from that place I like." You smile softly as you walk further into the room. He's reading Frankenstein again and you think the bags under his eyes are darker today. "Reading, huh?" You tilt your head slightly to the right.

"Yeah," Jason answers plainly.

You sleep together nearly every night and Jason doesn't know, but you feel him awake sometimes. And when you try not to sleep in each other's rooms, usually one of you wakes up from a nightmare anyway and wanders into the other's room. More often than not, it's Jason coming into your room. And sometimes, you’re the one that goes into his room to wake him up because he's screaming so loud, it wakes you up in your own room. The only reason you aren't completely freaking out is because he's getting better about talking about his nightmares with you. But, it's clear it bothers him. You wish more than anything you knew how to help him.

"Loud?" You ask and that's one thing he adores and appreciates about you. You’re never afraid to ask him about it. And you never really have to. You know. He never has to tell you. No one knows him like you do.

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Jason shakes his head, a gentle smirk on his lips. "Nope."

"Okay." You smile at him. "I'll be right back." You spin on your heels and dart out of the room, leaving Jason a little confused.

He goes back to reading his book until you walk in, carrying your scrapbook supplies in both arms, you have a warm but wide smile tugging at your lips. You sit on the floor at the table in front of Jason. Jason watches you get your supplies spread across the table and that's another thing about you. You just join him. You accept him not talking about everything because he will. He always tells you what's going on with him eventually. But until he's ready, you just sit with him so he's never alone.

"I'll just do my thing and you can talk if you want to or read." You smile widely at him as you look over your shoulder.

Jason lets out a soft chuckle. "Can read out loud if you want."

"I think you just like to hear yourself talk." You chuckle, looking back at the table.

"And you don't?" Jason chortles.

"I didn't say I didn't," You laugh softly and you could listen to him read an instruction manual and still be entertained.

"Yeah, alright. Did you want context?"

"No, you can just read." You answer softly, leaning over the table to open to the page in scrapbook you were last working on. And Jason starts reading.

Jason continues to read out loud and you work on putting your page together. Jason looks over his book after every paragraph, not even realizing he's doing it so often. But he can see some of what you’re doing and you’re working a page that looks to be all of the Titans. He can see a picture of Dick and Gar laid out while there's another one of Rachel on the actual page. And he smiles softly. He just likes you so much and he is so aware of it. You’re in your own little bubble with him reading to you and he thinks this is how it should be because it's peaceful.

Jason has never known peace. Between how he grew up and the streets and Robin, peace isn't exactly in his life. He didn't even think he knew a life could have peace. But then he meets you and somewhere between the chaos of your lives and falling into comfort with you, he realizes he's at peace when you’re around.

He wakes up from a nightmare and there you are looking at him with soft eyes and a look of worry across your face. But one that wreaks of kindness and adoration. And the nightmares don't seem so scary anymore. And then when things feel too heavy, you walk in and hold the world up with him. When he wants to absolutely lose it because patrol didn't go well and Bruce lectures him, you give him a smirk and it quiets the thoughts. When he thinks he's not worthy of anything good, you kiss him and he swears you are good. And maybe, just maybe, there is a part of him that can be deserving of you. When Jason doesn't think he knows what peace is, you walk in and decides to be his peace for him.

"Are you ever gonna show me?" Jason asks, looking up from his book and leaning slightly over the couch to get a better look.

You shove your book away from him. "You're so nosy." You give him a fake whine. "Maybe."

"Just maybe?" Jason leans all the way up, trying to get a look at the other side and you move it away.

"It's not done!" You turn to give him the fakest scowl he's ever seen.

"Sneak peak?" Jason gives you a cheeky smile.

"While that is cute of you, no."

Jason puts his finger in his book and swings his legs to the floor, planting his feet down. He leans over to you, closing most of the distance between you. His grin is wicked and wild like a rogue wave and you want to drown right into him.

"You're just gonna make me wait?" Jason's voice drops.

"Patience is a virtue, Jay." You lick your lips as you look to his.

"I'm not a patient person."

"Oh, I know." You laugh softly as Jason gets closer to you, his nose brushing over yours and you swear you'll never get used to it. You can feel him leaning over you though and you pull away, moving the book over. "Nice try."

Jason leans back with a booming laugh. "Worth a shot."

"Gotta be quicker than that, Jay."

"But you'll show me, right? When it's done?"

"Yes, of course." You roll your eyes. "It's just a book about you guys so I'll give that. You get to know what it's about." Your entire chest burns with his interest in your thing.

"The whole book?" Jason raises a brow.

"Mhm. You all get a dedicated page. But that's it, you don't get any more than that."

Jason's voice catches in his throat because if they all get a dedicated page, that means he does, too. "Oh, I get a page, huh?"

"Yes." You chew the inside of your cheek. "If you stop being so nosy, maybe you'll get two."

Jason wants to crack his rips wide open and let you take his heart right out of its place. He thinks maybe he was born with a broken heart, maybe it was supposed to be permanently damaged. And as he grew up, people took more pieces of his broken heart leaving him with this shell of something that doesn't even resemble a heart. Because it's guarded by so much barbed wire and latches, it's nearly impossible to access. But he wants to take all of that away and let you take what's left of it. He wants to give you every damaged piece of him he has left and maybe, just maybe, you'll offer a piece of yours for him. And his heart won't be permanently broken after all. Maybe. Just maybe, he's been wrong his entire life and he doesn't have to be broken forever.

Maybe he was born with a broken heart but maybe his heart wasn't destined to be permanently damaged.

"I'll take that." Jason beams at you and he wants to be involved in all of your hobbies.

He's not sentimental, but he wants to take all the pictures he possibly can in case you ever want them for a scrapbook. And he wants to go to your silly hobby stores and help you pick up more supplies. He wants to learn about how you choose a topic and how you plan your pages. He wants to know all of it.

"Can you show me how you do your scrapbooks sometime?"

Your brows furrow. "Um...yeah, of course. Didn't think you'd be into it."

"You like it." Jason states and you’re so head over heels for him.

"Can you teach me how to cook some of your favorites then?" You ask. "You like it." You state with ease.

Jason's smile is soft and loving. "Yeah, of course. Don't wanna learn your favorites?"

You shrug. "Yeah I do but...then I can make yours. You always make stuff for me."

"Alright." Jason chuckles softly and the both of you wonder how long you'll do this for. That was not a friendly thing either of you just offered and you both know it. "I'll teach you something tomorrow."

"Then I'll teach you tomorrow, too." You beam at him. "Think of a topic you want to do and find some pictures."

"Yes, ma'am." Sarcasm fills his words but he's so excited to learn about your thing. Jason leans in closer once more, almost kissing you before your attention is pulled to the doors by Bruce clearing his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt." Bruce states, eyeing the two of you and he finds this whole thing amusing. You both actually think he has no idea what's going on.

Jason leans back a little in his seat, cheeks shooting a fire engine red while you keep your attention on Bruce. Why do the older bats keep interrupting and how the hell do they always know? Jason though, can see that Bruce doesn't look mad or annoyed. He actually looks happy.

"Why are you so happy?" Jason questions.

"That's him being happy?" You whisper as you turn around to look at him and Jason chuckles quietly.

"Your suit has arrived." Bruce offers you a soft smile.

In all honesty, you thought that it would take longer but you can't be too surprised. This is Bruce Wayne.

"No shit?" You question and while you like to tease Jason about his suit, you do actually think it's kind of cool and you’ve been excited waiting for this day to come. That also means, you should be able to finally join them on patrol.

Jason moves to the edge of his seat because while this is your suit, he's just as excited. He remembers the first day he got to put on the Robin suit and he still deems that the best day of his life. He doesn't think it'll be like that for you but he's excited for you anyway.

"Would you like to see it?" Bruce asks.

"Hell yeah." You close your scrapbook and get to your feet, Jason immediately joining you.

The two of you follow Bruce down to the Batcave. Bruce hands you a suitcase, one similar to the one Jason has for the Robin suit. You head off to the bathroom/changing area and get changed. You look in the mirror and you beam with a sense of pride.

It's so lame and it's impractical to have to change but you really like it. In a way, it's as if it solidifies your role as a vigilante. You wear a mask and that's fine but this is different. This actually hides your identity better than just a mask does and you feel as if this is what you’re meant to do. The suit is the symbol of vigilantism and you feel so proud of it. It does not define you but you hold your head up high anyway. It just fits perfectly and it's yours. So, you walk out with your head high, a pep in your step.

Jason's eyes widen as he smiles widely, getting up from his seat at the batcomputer when you come into view. The suit is black but it has Pacific blue accents. The tactical belt is Pacific blue and the cape, that naturally has a hood, is also Pacific blue. There are two vertical stripes of blue fabric down your sides, the gloves that go almost to your elbow are blue as are your boots. The holsters hugging your thighs are even blue. Instead of a domino mask like Jason and Dick, you have a mask on the lower half of your face, covering your mouth. The mask is also blue. And Jason thinks you look absolutely amazing.

"Holy shit." Jason gawks.

"It's so cool, right?!!" You beam, nearly jumping.

Jason can't help but laugh. Of all people, he didn't think you would actually think the suit thing was cool. You’ve made fun of him a hand full of times about the Robin suit, mostly about the mask and cape. But, he finds it amusing anyway because you’re beaming at him and you’re he one that asked for the cape.

"I thought you said it was lame." Jason smirks at you.

"It is but it's so fucking cool!" You’re so excited and Jason can see the smile in your eyes. "Is my cape fireproof and bulletproof?" You look at Bruce who has a sense of pride. You’re not his vigilante in the same way Jason and Dick are and were but he thinks you'll do just fine.

"Yes, of course. All of your knives and tools fit in your belt and in the holsters." Bruce explains.

"This is so fucking cool, Bruce." You think you might vibrate right out of the suit from being too excited. "Thank you, seriously."

"You're very welcome."

"So, I can go on patrol now?" You look between the two of them.

"We go tonight." Bruce offers you a nod.

"You're a bat now." Jason quips, earning a fake glare from you.

"Guess, it's worth it. I mean, my cape is cooler than yours." You state as you pull the hood over your head. "I got a hood."

Jason lets out a heart-filled laugh. "Yeah, but yours was modeled after mine." Jason quips.

"Still it's so cool." You can't even fire back because this is just the coolest thing ever. "Gar is gonna lose his mind."

"He's gonna have a fuck ton of questions about it." Jason lets out a laugh.

"I know! But he'll think it's cool!"

"You're gonna hang out in that all day, aren't you?" Jason leans back against the desk to the batcomputer, a cocky and knowing grin on his lips.

"It is tempting." You let out a laugh as you look down over the suit.

"You'll be able to wear it plenty." Bruce chuckles and you remind him of Dick and Jason when they first put on their Robin suits.

Jason even said it was the best day of his life. It's like the suit makes it all real. It makes what you all do a reality, a sense of purpose. A sense of hope and that's why Bruce does it, recruits Robins. To help them and offer them a sense of purpose and hope. Even if things don't always go to plan.

"Thank you, again." You say genuinely.

"You're welcome."

"Can...can I show Gar? And the Titans?" You ask.

You’re not exactly sure where the line is on telling people. You know you can't just go out telling any random person, or friend that's not in your line of work. But it's the Titans, all of which know about Bruce.

"Yes." Bruce chuckles softly. "Just put it in the case when you're done." Bruce states before he exits the cave.

You pull out your phone and take a selfie, your eyes smiling for you and Jason shakes his head. You’re so pretty and funny and cute. Jason doesn't think he has enough words or even the proper words to describe how he feels about you. You walk up to Jason and hand him the phone.

"Wanna take one for me?" You ask.

"Sure." Jason chuckles softly and you stand in front of him, your hands on your hips with your head held proudly, the hood and the mask concealing most of your face and Jason has to give it to you. The hood was smart. "Here." Jason hands you the phone back as you look at the picture and you can't believe this is happening. Your entire life Batman and Robin have been the vigilantes of Gotham and now you’re one of them. It's insane. "It looks really good on you." Jason states softly.

"You think so?" You ask with hopeful eyes.

Jason nods, his eyes looking you up and down. "Yeah, it's fucking hot."

"Oh?" You question, pulling down your hood. "You think so?" Jason can't see it, but you’re giving him a teasing grin.

"Hell yeah." Jason closes some of the distance between you and he wonders if you see him like this in the Robin suit. You make fun of him sure, but now you’re the one in a suit and cape.

"Robin suit is pretty hot, too, ya know?" You shrug your shoulders lazily.

"You think so?" Jason's voice drops and he goes to look at your lips, realizing he can't so his eyes come back to yours and he swears he wants to drown in them. "Always making fun of me."

"Hell yeah." You pull the mask off and close the distance between you. "You're just easy to make fun of."

"Guess we just make a good team, huh?" Jason asks, his voice so low you can barely hear him and now he's freely glancing to your lips.

His hands rest on your hips, just above the tackle belt and he's never felt the fabric like this before, on someone else. There's a sturdiness to it. It's thick and textured under his callused palms. And a part of him, while he wants you to come on patrol, was a little nervous about it. With your whole ability to get kidnapped and held captive, or almost, it worries him just a little bit. But, you’re wearing this suit and he knows first hand that his suit protects him from so much every night and he doesn't feel so nervous about it anymore.

"Guess so." You lay your hands on his sides, lightly holding his t-shirt.

Jason grins before putting a finger under your chin and bringing your face to his, kissing you gently.

That night, you go out on patrol with Jason and Bruce for the first time. Going out with the Titans was always fun and riveting. It's one of the reasons you missed it but you were a big group. But, going out with just Bruce and Jason, it's just the three of you. And there's something about it you think you kind of prefer over the larger group. Even if that means working with Bruce. But, it's fun and you have a great time and patrol goes well. Nothing eventful really happened, just the usual small petty crimes but went well anyway.

The next day comes around Jason teaches you how to cook pot roast. It is his favorite meal after all. There's a lot of laughter and stolen glances. Jason's never taught anyone how to cook anything. It's always been him and then Alfred taught him some things. But that's all it ever was. And now he's here with you, teaching you and you’re like a sponge, absorbing everything he's telling you. You keep notes on your tablet and Jason thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. You do all of it for him. And for a second, Jason catches him thinking that friends don't do that. Again.

You're friends, that's been established whenever Molly asks. Or Bruce gives either of you one of his looks that somehow say everything and nothing all at once but they wreak of suspicion. When you first started this, you asked if it were friends with benefits and Jason said it'd be fun. It is. It is a lot of fun. But, he does find that maybe you're crossing that line more often than not now where it's not really friends anymore.

You reach for his hand during movies and TV shows so you can play with his fingers and he rubs your back and plays with your hair. You kiss a lot more than when you're joking or sparring or more. You’re dedicated to learning his favorite meals and he's dedicated to learning your hobbies. You sleep together more often than not. You are almost always together or texting when you're not. He always makes sure you’re tucked in when he wakes up first. And he swears friends don't do this and a part of him wants to freak out about it. Push you away and call this whole thing quits but he looks over at you as you beams with pure and unfiltered joy, and he knows he won't do that.

He decides, he wants this. Whatever the fuck this is going to be, he wants it forever. With you. He wants you today, tomorrow, and every day after that. Jason wants you to give him all of your broken pieces and let him mend them back together or replace them with every whole piece he has left. He swears up and down he doesn't deserve it and he doesn't deserve you. But, right now, in this moment watching you learn his favorite meal with the happiest smile he's ever seen, he can try to be someone who does deserve you. He'll try to be someone you deserve. So, he smiles back at you and walk up to you, wrapping you in his arms before kissing you.

And you teach him stuff about scrapbooking. You went to the store before dinner and you’re positive you were probably annoying because while Jason is interested, he also is a huge dork. He really enjoyed the googly eyes and insisted he would need them. For what? You don't know but sure. He was just interested in everything and you watched him with stars in your eyes because Molly is the only one who ever showed interest in your things. Molly is the only one who let you go on movie rants but Jason does, too. Jason does with enthusiasm and then it's like he keeps a mental note of everything you have ever said. You don't know why he does it or how but it makes you feel important in a way you’ve never felt before.

As the week goes by, you think patrolling with Bruce is so bizarre. He's been Batman for your entire life and now you’re....sitting on rooftops which is an entirely other situation, with him. It's weird as shit. But, you are enjoying it. You like helping innocent people stay safe. And you get to spend some more time with Jason, you get to watch Jason in his favorite element. Kicking ass. And he's hot while he does it, too.

Now, you're back at the Manor and you’re the first one to shower this time. Showering after patrol is actually the best type of shower. Even if you don't do anything, something about it feels refreshing. For you, it's kind of like you come home and then you don't have to be a hero. You can exist. You step into the shower and that part of yourself gets to wash away with the water. You think it might be better that way because you think Jason's issue is that Robin has become so embedded in every part of him, he doesn't know how to fully separate himself from it. And while you adore him, you don't want that.

You watch him and you listen to him scream in the middle of the night. He doesn't deserve it and you don't want that either. So, you separate yourself from it and when you’re here, during the day and after patrol, you are not a hero. You’re you.

Jason has found himself in the bathroom with you. It's a routine you’ve gotten into. One of you showers while the other one brushes your teeth and gets mostly ready for bed. Neither of you are even entirely sure how it started but there's a sense of comfort in it. It feels normal and safe this way. Even though the Manor is probably the safest place in all of Gotham.

And Jason can see you through the frosted glass and he adores you. You’re pretty and smart as hell, you’re dramatic and funny in all the right ways. You get his sense of humor which is a feat in itself. You get him and Jason likes to be close to you. You take care of him in ways no one has ever done. He didn't think he deserved it but you do. You clean up his cuts and scrapes and never even flinch. You give him a look sometimes with the roll of your eyes and all he can do is smirk because he knows you worry but you support him anyway because it's his thing. And you rub his back and you always know when his leg hurts.

Jason thinks maybe you don't know he notices when you notice but he does because you’re always extra cautious around him. You take care of him and he's thinking it should be the other way around.

"Hey, can I come in?" Jason asks, hiding the hesitance in his voice.

Your brows furrow but you’re not about to tell him no. "Um...sure?" Jason hears you laugh and his body erupts with goosebumps.

He strips down and pulls the door open just enough to get in the shower with you.

You turn around, feeling the cool breeze on your skin. "What're you doing?" You ask through a laugh. He's never joined you for a shower before, not that you mind.

"Thought I'd help." Jason offers you a smirk.

Your brows raise. "With?"

"You wash your hair yet?" Jason questions and you’re watching his expression carefully and sometimes, he's really, really good at hiding exactly what he's feeling and thinking. And this is one of those times.

"Yes." You state, your eyes slightly narrowing at him.

"Anything else?"

"No." You can't help but laugh and Jason loves the way it echoes on the title walls.

"I'll wash your back for you." Jason holds his head up high and you offer him a shrug, turning around.

Jason grabs his own soap and pours some in his hands. Once his hands are lathered, he gently runs his hands over your shoulders and your entire body erupts with goosebumps, static settling into the marrow of your bones. Jason is always gentle with you, even when he's not. He's careful and tender. But, this is different. You aren't laying down together or laughing about something stupid. And he's doing this just because. And it's just so nice of him and sweet and tender. All words you think no one else would ever use to describe him. But you do.

Jason rinses his hands once he's finished rubbing the soap in and he uses his hands to start washing it away. He's careful over the scars, not wanting to put too much pressure on them but he allows himself to trace over them. He wishes you didn't have them, not because he doesn't like them, but because you shouldn't have been put through that. He'd go to hell and back to prevent it from ever happening again. If anyone deserves better in this world, it's you. It's always you.

Jason presses a kiss to the top of your shoulder and you turn your head to look at him. Your eyes are soft, brows slightly knitted together. You love how his hair sticks to his forehead when it's wet and the way his skin glistens with the waterdrops. You feel your heart start to race in your chest as he moves up your neck and you have never wanted anyone more than you want him. You think he's ruined you for anyone that could have possibly come after him. And every part of you couldn't be happier about it.

"You didn't use my soap." You whisper as Jason kisses your neck, you tilting your head to give him better access.

"Nope." Jason mutters against your skin before nipping at the base of your neck.

"Why's that?" You question, your eyes closing and you think you might suffocate under his touch. You feel him smirk against your skin, setting your entire body on fire.

"Because." Jason answers before he starts sucking a spot into your neck and he definitely does it on purpose. He likes when you smell like him.

Jason nips at the skin once more, pulling away to see the mark on your skin. And he smiles proudly to himself, before kissing the area and then kissing back to your shoulder again. You aren't sure what he's doing but you swear he could do this all night and you'd feel lucky.

Lucky is not how you have felt, ever. There have been moments where you’ve realized what you had before, with your mom, was lucky. And you realize Dick finding you was also lucky. Finding these friends was lucky. Finding Jason was lucky. But, you’ve never considered yourself a lucky person. Disaster and heartbreak seem to follow you around like a magnetic tornado. But, Jason is here and he's kissing you softly and gently and he's taking care of you and for the first time, you think you might be lucky.

Lucky to have him and deserve someone like him. You’re lucky to be here with him today and for the first time, you don't let the paranoia of something bad coming, ruin this moment. Whenever something good happens to you, something bad follows but right now, with Jason, you don't have a single thought like that. Because even with you not together, you’re lucky to have him. And you know it.

You turn around, looking up at him and Jason loves your eyes. "Let me." You whisper softly, grabbing your soap from the shelf and Jason chuckles softly, turning around.

You get some soap on your hands and start massaging it into his shoulders. Jason dips his head and he really could just evaporate into oblivion under your touch. It does something so special to him that he doesn't think he can explain. But he feels wanted and cared for. You’re careful, minding the scar on his back like he did with you and you trace over it, just like he did. And you massage some of the muscle as you rub the soap in because Jason's always too tense and his back is always filled with knots.

Jason lets out a soft groan as you work out a knot under the warm water and he doesn't know how you know to do it. He doesn't know why you do it and normally that would bother him. To not have the why. But, it's you and he doesn't need to know. Because he trusts you.

You kiss his back as you wash the soap away and Jason feels exposed again but in a way, he thinks he could live like this forever. Exposed to only you. It's not so scary when it's with you. And you can feel him relax under your touch as you smile against his skin. You can always get him to relax. And you always notice.

He'll be tense, maybe he doesn't even realize it, but then you take his hand in yours or you kiss him anywhere or you put your legs on top of his and suddenly, you see him let out a breath as if he's never been able to breathe properly in his life. And his shoulders move forward just a little and he gains this half-cocked grin, every single time.

When you started this whole thing, you knew. You knew how you felt about him because you’ve always known. And you knew he did, too. You hate conversations about feelings because it's exposing yourselves to being left bleeding wide open. It exposes you to the elements of heartache and being alone. It leaves you exposed to allowing someone else to hold the hammer that could finally shatter the last remaining pieces of your hearts. And you do enough bleeding and breaking for yourselves. But, you don't need to have the conversation because you’ve always known. Even when you want to deny it because that sometimes still seems easier than allowing each other to hold the hammer.

You slide your hands up his chest and rest your cheek against his back, hugging him softly. You feel Jason vibrate as a chuckle pulls through his lungs. He rests his hands on top of yours before picking one of them up and kissing the top of it. Jason turns around and places his hands on your hips, squeezing softly and he loves how your skin is soft compared to his hands. You offer him a gentle smile as you rest your hands on his shoulders and you love the way his shoulders feel on your hands, warm and sturdy.

"You didn't use my soap." Jason states with so much warmth you swear you'll never be cold again.

"Nope." You smile up at him.

"Why's that?" Jason dips his head closer to you.

He holds your hips like they're a lifeline to hope and happiness. And he wants to hold on forever because sometimes he needs a reason to keep holding onto hope. And you, in the middle of the chaos, offer him that hope. And he wants you, he wants this, late nights in the shower with you after patrol, cooking dinner with you, doing dishes, reading and hanging out in the library with you, today, tomorrow, and every day after that.

"Because." You whisper softly, brushing your nose against his.

Jason rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes for just a second. There's this feeling in his chest, something he doesn't think he's ever felt before. It's in his chest and his stomach and seeping into every crevice of his brain. It's in his blood and bones and knees. It's warm like a campfire and thrilling. It's like lightning struck his entire body and this vibrating, burning feeling is the aftermath. He feels so happy. And instead of butterflies in his stomach, it's more like lightning bugs coming out during the first warm day of the year. Flickering with light and warmth, glowing. A reminder that the cold days are only temporary and it will be warm again. It's easy and subtle and calming. And scary and thrilling and exciting and happy. It's everything all at once. He doesn't know exactly what that feeling is, what the vibrating in his bones is or the weakness in his knees is, but he knows it feels like home with you.

You press your lips to his and it's gentle and soft. The kiss is sweet as honey and Jason pulls you impossibly close to him, your chests touching. And he wants to devour you.

You snake your hands into his wet hair, giving a light tug and Jason's hands trail to your ass, giving you a squeeze. You squeal against him and Jason chuckles against your lips. And you feel his length growing between you.

You take him into your hand, pumping him slowly and eagerly while Jason bites your bottom lip. The heat grows between your thighs as the kiss grows sloppy. Jason is heaving softly against you and his right hand snakes between the two of you, teasing your hole with a single finger. Your knees weaken with the touch and you let out a soft whimper, feelings your body desperate for more.

"Eager?" Jason chuckles hoarsely against your lips.

"So are you." You quip back, pumping just the tip as you feel precum leak onto your hand, mixing with the water. Jason lets out a groan, jerking his hips forward. "You're perfect, Jay." You whisper against his lips.

Jason’s heart booms against his ribcage as his head swims with praise. His cock twitches in your hand and the only thing he wants to do is pin you against the wall and drown right into you.

"Shit." Jason mutters as you pump him quicker, squeezing more at the tip before going back down the shaft.

Jason slides a second finger into you, you letting out another moan. His palm brushes over your clit with every pump and it’s like a bolt of electricity every single time. Your breath hitches as you feel Jason smirk against your lips. His fingers curl into you further, gaining an eclectic moan from you and he loves the way your moans sound reverberating against the walls.

"C'mere." Jason mutters pulling his hand away as you let out a whimper from the lack of contact. 

Jason grabs your hips and turns you around so you’re facing the wall. Jason lines himself up with her gaping hole as you place your hands on the wall for security. Jason slides in with ease thanks to your wetness and the water spraying down on you. Jason starts pumping into you softly and then firmly. Your moans grow louder. Jason grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling you up to him.

"Shh, don't want Bruce to hear." Jason's voice is graveled and you whimper, eyes rolling back.

"Jay." You let a quiet whine. "More."

There’s a snicker that falls from Jason’s throat and it’s rough and warm against your skin. Jason is nothing if not a tease in more ways than one.

Jason particularly likes these situations where he can get you to nearly beg him to fuck you. It sends his entire body into a lust-filled frenzy, taking all of his self-control not to completely lose it.

"What was that?" Jason asks, a snicker lingering in his voice.

Your voice catches in your throat, a whine falling from your lips as Jason's thrusts stall. You buck your hips back, trying to get more contact, trying desperately fill every part of you. Jason lets your hair go, gripping your hips tighter so you can’t move.

 "I didn't quite hear you." He teases and you want to bite the smirk off his lips you knows he's wearing right now.

"More, Jay." You get out through gritted teeth. “Please.”

Jason chuckles, pulling out and slamming into you. "Anything for you, princess."

Jason pumps harder, fast, and deeper into your gaping hole and you can feel yourself about to unravel. Jason can feel it with the way your pussy clenches around his cock with every thrust. He reaches his hand down to circle your clit.

You let out quiet gasp before it turns into a near pornographic moan. Tears brim your eyes as the pit in your stomach grows thicker and heavier. Your body feels like it’s on fire while your hands almost try to grip the slick tile wall. Jason moves his free hand to your mouth, him still pumping eagerly into you.

“C’mon, babe,” Jason’s voice is low and raspy, hot and lust-filled. “Wanna feel you cum on my cock.” Jason nips your neck.

You mutter against his hand as your eyes roll back in your head, bolts of electricity ripping through your body. Your knees shake as your teeth sink into Jason’s hand. Jason lets outa  hiss as his thrusts become sloppy and erratic.

He feels himself nearing his own orgasm and he quickly pulls out, spraying into the shower and down the drain. His chest heaves as he hangs his head, the high lingering around him as you turn around. You offer him a lazy and lust-blown smile. Your breathing is ragged but you do adore him with every piece of you.

Jason’s pupils nearly cover every piece of green in his eyes but there’s a delighted and tender smile on his lips. You watch his chest rise quickly, the water highlighting every raised and toned muscle on his torso. His hair sticks slick to his forehead and there’s just something about him that makes you feel alive.

"Can I wash your hair?" You ask bluntly and Jason lets out a booming laugh.

He looks back at you, brows raised. "Really?"

You shrug. "Yeah, of course. I like your hair." There’s a wide, toothy smile on your face as your eyes are hopeful and lively.

Jason shrugs one shoulder, a delicate smile pulling his lips up. "Sure." He chuckles before washing his hands under the water.

The next morning rolls around and you make sure you’re up earlier than usual, before Jason. It's his birthday today. You wanted to make sure you could grab his presents and be back in his room before he wakes up. So, you’re quiet and careful getting up and heading to your room.

You grab the wrapped presents you have hidden under your bed and then you head back to Jason's room. When you get back, he's stirring awake so you hide the presents behind your back before getting back on the bed, sitting on your knees.

"Morning," Jason says groggily but he's got this lazy and tired smile that makes you melt.

He's so confused. You’re smiling and the morning sun peaking in through the curtains is kissing your skin in just the right ways. You look so beautiful. But you are never up before he is, not when it's not because of a nightmare. Yet, here you are, smiling and beaming and he can't even imagine why.

"Good morning, happy birthday, Jay." You bounce slightly on your knees and Jason lets out a tired laugh.

"Thank you." He shakes his head, grabbing his phone from the charger and checking the time. "You woke up early for that?"

"Yes." You nod your head once and you feel the nervousness flood your veins. "It's your birthday, of course, I did."

"It's not a big deal." Jason lets out a scoff and his birthday has never been a big deal. He was lucky if anyone even remembered besides himself.

"Yeah, it is." You state confidently. "I got you some stuff." You safe softly as Jason sits up.

"You fucking got me something?" Jason questions, trying to figure out when you would have done that and how.

You give him a shy smile, reaching behind you and grabbing one of the presents. "Of course, I did." You hand it to him and it's wrapped in metallic red wrapping paper and Jason can't help but think it matches his suit. You did it on purpose.

He takes the gift softly from you and you watch him nervously, waiting to see if he likes it. Jason's heart stops as he opens a first-edition Frankenstein that's in a clear display case box. He looks to you with wide eyes and he never expected this. He doesn't own first editions. He's never asked because he's so worried he'll ruin them but you wrapped it in a box for a display. How the hell did you even know that? And he's only read it to you once and you knew it was one of his favorites.

"A first edition?" There's a softness in his voice as if he's unsure how to react.

You nod softly. "I asked Bruce for help but yeah." You reach behind you and grab the other one. "Here."

After dinner a few weeks ago, you followed Bruce into the living room to ask for help in getting Jason a few things for his birthday. You hate even having to ask but you knew nothing about getting first editions of books or money to get those first editions. But, Bruce was really nice and actually seemed happy to help.

"You didn't have to." Jason shakes his head, his grip on the case light, careful not to smudge it.

"I know but I wanted to." You shrug your shoulders softly and you think he deserves the entire world.

Jason shakes his head and opens the next present. This time, it's a first edition of Pride and Prejudice wrapped the exact same way and he just doesn't know how you knew that. How you knew these two books and also to put them into display cases. No one's ever paid such close attention to the things he likes, besides Bruce.

"Another one!?"

"I know you really like those books. You're a fast reader but I see you with Frankenstein and Pride and Prejudice often enough to know you really like them. And they're two of the books you have two copies of." You point to the corner of his room where he has his bookshelf. "Also...uh....there's more." You say with hesitance and you reach behind yourself, grabbing two thick sheets of paper and you hand them to him with shaking hands. "I made those for you."

Jason's entire face softens as he looks over the first one. It's like a scrapbook page, like what you showed him to do. But this one has what looks like torn pages from Frankenstein, his favorite exerts and quotes. There are pictures from the movie and Jason just blinks at you before moving the second one. This one is the same but for Pride and Prejudice and he is so confused but he feels so important and he can't even begin to understand it. He just doesn't know how you knew all of that about him without him ever having to tell you.

"How the fuck did you even know?" Jason's voice is breathy. "My favorite lines and shit?"

"When I saw you had two copies, I looked in them and saw you annotate one like a fucking nerd," You give him a smirk. "So, uh, I did not destroy a book. I just used Photoshop and made the book page images using your quotes and stuff you had underlined and had notes next to.” You explain, the nervousness growing in your stomach because you can't tell if he likes them or not.

"Why would you do all this?" His brows are pulled in a tight line, no smirk or grin across his face and you’re thinking maybe you overstepped.

You know you both cross the friend boundary all the time. A part of you wants to stop saying you're just friends when someone asks at this point. But, you are and you’re wondering if this was too much. But, he means the world to you and he struggles with himself. You just want him to know he's important to you, everyday.

"Because you're my favorite person." You suck in a breath. "And this is the day the earth was blessed with your insane presence." You laugh softly. "You deserve it."

"Thank you." Jason looks back to the pages and he thinks this must have taken a lot of time and planning.

He thinks this must have been something important to you to make because you don't show anyone your scrapbook stuff. But, you made this for him. He's not sentimental, but he swears he'll hold onto this for the rest of his life.

"Do you like—"

"Yeah! I fucking love it, thank you, I'm serious. I'm gonna frame these ya know?" Jason lets out a soft laugh, giving you a teasing grin.

You feel heat running over your cheeks. "I'm glad you like them, Jay."

Jason scoots closer to you and puts his hand under your chin. "Thank you." His voice is soft before he presses a kiss to your lips and you want to live here forever. His birthday might be your favorite day of the year.

"How do you remember all of this shit?" Jason pulls away, scanning your face.

"Because it's important to you." You state so casually and Jason is so shocked he can't find any words. It's as if it were the easiest sentence you ever said. "It matters to you so it matters to me."

That feeling in his chest is back. It’s coming at him in full force like a wrecking ball. Banging and pounding against every bone in his body. He’s sitting down but he swears his knees are weak and his head is foggy. His chest is on fucking fire but the only thing he feels right now is a tender and comforting type of warmth.

"Thank you." Jason pulls you into him and kisses you again and he thinks this is the only thing he wants to do for the rest of his life. With you.

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series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: I promise I’m getting to the angst lol But because I know what I wrote for that and what I have planned, I’m giving you guys a lot of fluff on purpose lol but I’m excited to get there which is why I’m combining chapters lol

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou​

#jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #jason todd x yn #petrichor #jason todd smut

[octopotto]

Yandere! Azul Ashengrotto General Headcanons

OCTO NOTE: Okay I know I said that I would work on the Cloud Strife hcs but then I got sad and thought about Azul lmaooo

Think of this as a celebration post for the live action The Little Mermaid release!! Has anyone seen it yet?? 

Warnings: NOT PROOF-READ, Yandere behaviour, manipulation, obsession, OOC madness, blackmail, insecurities, Jade and Floyd, this is a mess lmao I’m sorry.

**WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR TWISTED WONDERLAND

REMINDER: Yandere behaviour of any kind is unhealthy behaviour. It should not be something to seek out in real life. If you are experiencing any sort of inappropriate behaviour, please contact help/seek out help.

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral! 

ps. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH TO MY FELLOW LGBTQIA+ <3333

———————————-••———————————

- Azul can be described as a greedy, manipulative, and intelligent individual who uses logical reasoning and sometimes solid ‘evidence’ to succeed, whether it be his business or his education. 

- At least on the outside.

- On the inside is an insecure, isolated, and paranoid little octopus that when cornered, just can’t help but slowly become unable to contain the facade he worked on for years.

- Now imagine this sad lil’ octopus as a yandere

- Not good lol

- I mean yes, the manipulative and intelligent nature of Azul are probably the main reasons as to why he’s one of the more terrifying yanderes in the TWST cast.

- But it’s because of him being very self-conscious of everything, as well as years of being isolated from his peers at a young age, Azul can be very much a clingy type as well. Especially to ones he cherishes the most. 

- Which is unfortunately you! :D

- At first, Azul thought nothing of you

- Only seeing you as a pawn for his own selfish gain.

- But as Book 3 progressed and the on-going reports from the Leech twins, Azul can’t help but become curious of your character, dear prefect.

- Why do you care so much about those 3 fools? You haven’t even known them for a year and yet here you are! Sacrificing your well-being to save them.

- It sickens him.

- The thought of your selflessness makes him sick to his stomach.

- But despite that, he starts to think about you more.

- And begins to imagines

- What if he was the one you were going all out for?

- The one you were taking care of?

- The thought of that shell-shocked him for a bit.

- He shook it off and proceeded to his planning once more.

- Once everything ended with Azul’s overblot, you decided to personally talk to him.

- Telling him that you also went through some of the same issues that he had as well.

- Pointing out your flaws, outwards and inwards.

- It’s just you trying to show Azul that he wasn’t alone when it came to these problems. That’s he’s not the only one who’s worked so hard to cover up their past in order to move on.

- To say that Azul was shocked was an understatement.

- In fact he didn’t really say anything while you were talking to him.

- All he did was listen to you.

- And for the first time

- He felt that he wasn’t being made fun of or mocked.

- It was…comforting.

- Azul is clingy.

- Be it in his human form or his octopus form.

- During the museum scene in Book 3 (when the gang looked at the field trip photo), you couldn’t help but hug him after seeing lil’ smol and chubby Azul.

- He looked soo cute and cuddly!! 

- Bby Azul!!

- He was in shocked

- He couldn’t move

- But didn’t try to leave your embrace.

- He just stood still.

- He didn’t understand 

- For the first time in a while, he felt at peace.

- But at the same time, his heart was starting to beat uncontrollably and his breathing was becoming heavy.

- Ace was weirded out.

- Deuce had no idea what was going on .

- Grim was hungry.

- Jack wanted to leave.

- Floyd and Jade were snickering in the background while this unfolded 

- Azul was fuming out of embarrassment when he heard them snicker.

- It was at this point where Azul fell in love with you.

- So ever since then, he secretly longs for your company.

- Walking beside you

- Asking if you’re in needs of favours that only he can fix for you

- If you give him a hug, that man will hold onto you for a while.

- He doesn't even realize it until you mention it to him.

- Even if you’re in the Monstro Lounge, as long as he knows you’re somewhere in the same vicinity as him, he’s at peace for a bit.

“Ah! D-dear Prefect! I didn’t even notice you’ve arrived at the lounge. W-well I know! I know that I wasn’t in the lounge when you came in, I was in my office working on our marriage contract— I mean—! Contacts for fellow peers who need some assistance. And— Floyd! Jade! I can hear your mocking from here! Stop it!”

- Speaking of Floyd and Jade,

- They very much enjoy having you around the lounge.

- Or just when you’re around in general.

- You provide so much entertainment for them, it’s amusing to watch.

- Especially if Azul is around.

- They haven’t seen Azul like that since he was a lil octopus.

- But, like Azul, they also grown fond of you.

- Not like that tho

- Like a sibling

- A lil Shrimpy for them to protect and play with!

- As they grow more fond of you, they start to see you as a pitiful and defenceless Shrimpy.

- Despite you saving them from Azul’s blot form but oh well—

- They have to protect you!!

- So don’t try to run away from them

- It’s pretty much useless at this point.

“Hey hey, Shirmpy~ Let’s play together!! You know it’s useless struggling! Especially since you’re soo puny~ *Giggles* C’mon! I promise that if you stay good, I’ll squeeze you less tight than usual~”

“Fu fu fu~ Floyd please be gentle. You don’t want to scare them more than they already are. Dear prefect, don't be alarmed. We simply want to spend a little quality time with you before Azul orders us to bring you to the lounge.”

******

- Despite Azul being a very cunning and manipulative individual, he’s also very self-conscious. 

- Azul puts these precautions and restrictions on you because he’s scared that you’ll leave. 

- He’s paranoid that you’ll just run off and find another person that’s better than him.

- He’s always been casted aside for almost all his life.

- That’s why he made sure to cover up all of his past self.

- He doesn’t want to be that ‘octo-twerp’ anymore.

- He doesn’t want you to think of him as that twerp he was years ago.

- He doesn’t want you, the person he loves so much, to see him like that.

- Even with all the reassurance from you.

- Believe it or not, Azul takes your opinions of him in high regards

- Meaning if he finds out about something you don’t like about him (beside the obvious problematic traits he has), he would make sure to change, if not conceal them, in order  for you to stay happy with him.

- As long as you’re happy, he’s happy.

- He just doesn’t want you to leave him, is that so hard to ask for?

- So please just stay

- For the sake of his own being entirely.

- And if you don’t?

- Hoo boy—

- You thought Azul was bad during the 3rd book with his contracts? 

- It’s gets worst 

- Especially since it’s business mixed with love. 

- Let’s get this outta the way, this man will search high and low for any flaw or problem you have. 

- He’ll find anything and I mean anything.

- Whether it be you’re struggling with (school, education, etc) or something you did. 

- If he can’t find worthy material, he’ll just make up something believable. Then will exaggerate that shit till you can't even defend yourself.

- He will find a way, he'll find something to use against you.

- And once he has all of the information he needs to trap help you, all he has to do is call in one (or both if you’re slippery lmao) of the tweel twins to ‘kindly escort’ you to his office!

- This is Azul we’re talking about. He’s always ready to lend a hand to a fellow peer in need.

- And it’s totally out of the kindness of his 3 pure and selfless hearts.

- What a saint.

- 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

- Whatever problem Azul decides to blackmail you with, the only way for him to solve it is for you is to give your unconditional love and devotion to him.

- He will also give you his love and devotion as well. But he didn’t say that out loud.

- At this point, you just have to give in.

- I mean, look at what could happen if Azul leaks out the blackmail material he’s using against you.

- You could possibly get kicked out of Night Raven.

- Where would you and Grim go? You’re not even from here! You don’t even have enough money saved up.

- Even if you could threaten Azul with fraudulence (if the accusations he presented were false), there’s nothing that Floyd and Jade can’t do when needing to silence someone.

- And both are glad to do so if you’re planning to leave them. 

“My dear Prefect! Why are you looking so downcast? Is it because of what I said? Oh, don’t worry! If anything happens to you, it will be alright as long as you sign this contract I have provided before you. You don’t want to? Then hopefully you don’t mind Floyd and Jade kindly convincing you to do so? I promise you, prefect, you’ll be fine with me as long as you do what I say. My generosity and unconditional love holds no bounds when it comes to you.”

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTE: OKAY! This is probably the most out of character fic I’ve written so far. So please forgive me!! 😭😭😭

But I hope you enjoy this lil fic! I will be working on Cloud’s Headcanons now! <33

ALSO— THANK YOU ALL SM FOR 100+ HEARTS FOR BOTH SILVER FICS!!!! I PROMISE I'LL ALSO WRITE MORE FOR OUR SLEEPY BOY ❤️❤️❤️

#tw yandere #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #male yandere #twisted wonderland imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere #twst imagines #twisted wonderland #azul twst #azul twisted wonderland #twst headcanons

[lyrakanefanatic]

Grayson and phone girl hcs!!!!

- He’s Folklore coded

- Shes midnights coded (or red idk)

- Grayson hates sweet coffees and takes his coffee black

- phone girl takes her coffee with one milk and 2 sugars

- Grayson loves taking photos of her

- he also loves spoiling phone girl, but she hates being spoiled (yes she has yelled at him multiple times for getting her expensive gifts but he gets her them anyway)

- she didn’t know how to swim well before but then Grayson taught her

- her and Grayson play chess together and at first he won most the games, but then phone girl started catching up and winning aswell

- when phone girl told Grayson her favourite book, he immediately started reading it so she would have someone to talk to about it 💖💖

- forehead kisses and neck kisses!!!!

- she’s close with all of graysons brothers but ESPECIALLY close with Jameson (I just feel like they would be bsfs)

- movie nights are sacred to them!!

- graysons close with her mom and is always so kind to her (🤭💖💖💖)

- thea showed phone girl the video of Grayson singing karaoke in tights and she didn’t shut up about it for like 3 months 💀

- she’s a super light sleeper, meanwhile grayson can sleep through a war (the final gambit atonement night chapter says he’s a deep sleeper LMAO)

- grayson contrasts silver, phone girl contrasts gold

- Grayson realized he liked her before she realized she liked him (and when she did realize she didn’t want to accept it bc his grandfather was kinda the reason her dad died)

- she’s close with both of his sisters but ESPECIALLY close with Savannah, and the two of them hang out all the time

- one night, grayson got really drunk, like blackout drunk, and accidentally told all of his brothers that he liked phone girl, (which honestly they saw coming) and he had a really nice heart-to-heart with them. He talked about why he loved her and how he loved her the second he called his phone, and then ruined the heartfelt moment by throwing up on the carpet

- when gigi first met phone girl, (I’d assumed she’d meet her kind of late into the games) she thought that she was the “girlfriend” Grayson was talking about in tbh, and without a hint of irony in her voice, asked “so, you like limes?”

- phone girl was immediately confused and asked her what she meant, but Grayson switched the topic and (somehow) saved himself a lot of embarrasment

- phone girl doesn’t really like her birthday anymore because that was the day her father shot himself, so Grayson tries to do really fun and exciting stuff to distract her

- she tried getting other girls to date him, and then would be surprised when she got jealous 💀

- Nash was the first one to notice they liked each other and asked Grayson about it teasingly, and Grayson in response ended the conversation SO FAST

- she eventually found out WHY Gigi asked about the limes, and made a joke saying “ the entire world is in love with you, Grayson, and you had to make up a fake girlfriend?”

-now the lime thing is an inside joke, so whenever one of graysons brothers (or Grayson) asks where she is, she just says “I’m out buying limes”

- Avery and her are those friends that “hang out” by laying on the couch, watching movies, and going on their phones instead of actually doing stuff together (iykyk)

- Grayson was SOOO mad about Mathias liking Gigi bc he works for eve, so he told phone girl and she actually took gigis side (Grayson was shocked but gigi and phone girl immediately became bsfs after that day)

okay thats all and I know I’m talking about the inheritance games too much and it may be annoying, but trust me it will be WAY more annoying when the grandest game vault comes out 💀 (im sorry)

#lmao I actually need to get over this books series but I can’t #it’s my roman empire #phone girl x grayson #grayson hawthorne #phone girl #the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #avery kylie grambs #xander hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #libby grambs #maxine liu #gigi grayson #savannah grayson

[knickknacksandallthat]

if you don't mind me asking, what got you into kevin's character?

for me it was actually your fic, but since its so normalized in the fandom to dismiss his trauma and call him a coward and annoying for doing things that other characters are loved for, i didn't really care about him when i first read the books

now hes my favorite

Oh, anon, I love this!! What an honor, I’m so glad to have helped you join the Kev lovefest 😊 (Welcome to the dark side lol!) It makes me so happy that the A Fallen Star series has awakened this in you! 💖

And wow, what a good question. I don't mind at all! I actually had to think about this for a while to try and remember…how the heck did I get here???

So here is my ridiculously uncalled-for POV on Kevin’s character and slow descent into madness below:

(Disclaimer that these are just my thoughts and anyone in the aftg fandom can hc or think whatever they like about Mr. Day 😊)

Like you, anon, I was easily swayed by Neil’s perspective of Kev on first read. It makes sense and is a credit to Nora how we so fully buy into Neil’s opinion of Kevin that many of us just run with it. And to be fair to the fandom, it’s canon – Andrew, Neil, and all the Foxes tell us he’s a coward and annoying and so we assume it must be true.

So, I created many fics that played into this image and focused on andreil. (Because who isn’t enamored with andreil??? Legit, deranged obsession and couple goals lmao). Using that lens, it was easy to make Kevin the punching bag because he is the quintessential “straight man” in comedy (and yes, I do hear the irony in that) – the foil to other characters to make them seem better, braver, funnier, smarter, etc. It’s an age-old trick/trope in fiction that works very well. And it was an easier transition for Nora to make, I think, once she made the decision to remove Kevin from the main narrative of her story.

This character setup works well enough when you’re doing a fic from Neil or Andrew’s POV, providing an easy source of humor to fall back on. So, for me, I think my thinking shifted once I started working on Flavors of Fall and delved into Andrew and Kevin’s storyline there. That fic forced me to think from Kevin’s perspective, and I found at the time I had a shallow understanding of what made Kevin tick. It totally threw me once I really started considering sequels for that fic and the 12 Day Program for Courtship, both of which have Kevin cast as a main character. I had to dive deep into his makeup, seriously considering his motivations, his likes/dislikes, his personality traits, his relationships, and how he would react in any given situation.

Because I was interested in his character development, I started delving into fics like orionauriga’s just pretend , @likearecordbb's Long Walk in the Woods, @thetrojeans daylights, sunsets, and @dayurno's the age of no regret series. They are all brilliant, fascinating character studies of Kevin Day and his relationships that are extremely well done. There’s many more, of course, but I was searching for fics that specifically delved into Kevin’s thought process and choices and stayed there a while.

That’s what led me to feeling like I needed to tell his story with Dead of Night. Of course, it turned into a larger series with my flavoring of Kerejean added because I’ve never been a huge Kevin/Thea relationship fan. (But that's a discussion for another day which you can start here and here for that adventure.)

Now all that I’ve described above gives you the mechanics of the descent – the when, the where, the how. But it crucially misses the why. What is it about Kevin that got me in the end?

Ironically enough, it was his potential.

I think when Nora stripped away any kind of romantic narrative (RIP Kandreil OR Riko/Kevin/Jean) or a chance for a tragic storyline (Kevin dying in the end) it resulted in removing a lot of Kevin’s emotional vulnerability. We don’t get to hear what he’s feeling or thinking unless it’s related to Riko, the Moriyamas, or Exy. This means his storyline is consumed by the stereotypical sports underdog story, with us following his rise to champion (which is still a powerful enough narrative on its own that shines even in the midst of Neil’s crazy plotline. Switching that racquet to his left hand in the championship game? Iconic.) 

However, it leaves us very much with a shell of a person. Kevin’s character outside of Exy is reduced to a handful of facts – there’s a passing comment on his like of history, and the stark evidence of an alcohol addiction as a coping mechanism. We’re told he used to dance. That he learned French because Jean Moreau taught him. That he has no qualms about taking (mild?) drugs (cracker dust). Despite how much we’ve run with it as a fandom, the only allusion I’ve found in the books to him being strict with diet is this section from The King’s Men:

“No one needs to eat this before a game,” Kevin said. “Eat some granola or protein if you’re that hungry.” “Hello, there’s protein in the peanut butter,” Nicky said. “Let go of me before I tell Andrew you’re outlawing chocolate. I said let go. You’re not the boss of me. Ouch! Did you seriously just hit me?” … “Kevin, just let him go,” Neil said. “It’s not worth fighting over.” “When our defense is sluggish, we all suffer,” Kevin said.

From what I can find in the books, Kevin never once denies Andrew eating ice cream. (Which I’m 100% able to admit I might have missed something so feel free to quote me where that scene is because I was totally searching for it). In fact, every time they go to Sweetie’s, it’s implied Kevin orders ice cream with them. In the infamous kissing scene in The King’s Men, we actually have proof that Kevin got ice cream:

Kevin still hadn’t messaged Nicky by the time they reached the ice cream aisle, so Nicky gave in and called him. Neil half-expected Kevin to ignore Nicky’s call, but Kevin wasn’t so sour with them that he’d turn down a free snack…Nicky grabbed spoons from the kitchen and distributed pints to their hungry owners. Neil checked his expression when Nicky came back from dropping Kevin’s off….

Now I do think it’s in line with his character and his upbringing to have issues with food, so I’m all for buying into that specific hc. But we have very little evidence of it in the text.

His personality is reduced mainly to anger, arrogance, or cowardice (all traits that don’t make us sympathize with him). The only facts we have about his Tragic Past™️ are two things: his mother’s death, and his hand injury. Everything else we assume is based on Neil’s knowledge of the mafia, Wymack’s hearsay, Andrew’s deductions, and Kevin’s reactions to Riko and Tetsuji. We have literally no idea what happened to Kevin in the Nest. His trauma and his time spent there is a complete mystery. The closest we get is Riko’s comment to Neil in The Raven King:

“I am going to love hurting you,” Riko said, “like I loved hurting Kevin.”

This, I think, is one of the main reasons many of the fandom “dismisses” Kevin’s trauma in comparison to Neil’s because we can’t see it. We don’t know what happened and we don’t get to experience it, so this lack of explanation or motivation leaves us only with very cold personality traits. We’re unable to root for him as a character because we can’t sympathize. We can empathize because we know Very Bad Things™️ must have happened in the Nest, but we don’t see them happen the same way we do Neil or Andrew. Even Kevin’s hand injury is old and “healed” when we’re first introduced to the character.

The only true canon moment where Kevin appears “human” is in The Raven King with Kevin’s “then run” and “you should be court” conversation with Neil. His admittance that Neil’s life is more important than Exy is instantaneous – he doesn’t even pause to throw his Exy dreams down the drain if it means Neil can survive.  In a weirdly parallel way, we see Kevin’s thought process implicit in his conversation: “at least you’d have a chance.” It is strikingly similar to Neil’s internal conversation of: one of us should make it. (And there’s another whole separate discourse I could get into on how Kevin and Neil are two halves of the same coin, but we’ll save that for another day.) But even the revelation of Wymack as his father has more shock value than true emotional weight – we never see what that conversation looked like or how either party actually reacted. (In some ways, I feel like Dan being pissed at Kevin is given more “screentime” than Kevin’s response to telling his father and how Wymack reacted.)

So with Kevin’s emotions and past firmly locked down, we’re left to brush off Kevin’s reactions (or lack thereof) as part of his indifferent personality. It is what it says on the tin. (And that’s not to say Kevin is a perfect character by any means. He has flaws just like every other character.)

Now some people very accurately depict and buy into those limitations as simply being Kevin’s character/personality – I’ve read some awesome fics where Kevin is Ace/Aro and/or on the spectrum. These are completely valid, extremely well done, and I could totally see why others see and write him this way. Canon practically sets them up for it.

For me, though, it circles back to our skewed view of Kevin given to us by some deeply loved but also deeply flawed characters (cough, Andreil). Those same characters that we’re told time and again not to judge them by their cover but to try and understand how they’re affected by (and make choices because of) their trauma.

While Andrew and Neil end up giving each other this grace through a hard-fought battle of truths and exchanges, they do not extend this same courtesy to Kevin, and neither are we given the chance to do so. We literally can’t because, again, we don’t know what the full extent of Kevin’s trauma is.

Kevin doesn’t talk about his time in the Nest to any character, meaning we know nothing about it. Ergo we don’t know what choices Kevin makes because of it. In The Foxhole Court, Wymack specifically tells us Kevin was Riko’s pet. In fact, there is so much specific language that Kevin himself uses around the concept of ownership, and that Nora uses when referring to him that it jarringly sticks out in the text.  He has no sense of personal space or proper boundaries, viewing people only as assets to be used for the good of the team, which at the very least is a sign of mental abuse. But the fact remains that we just don’t know. We don’t know how far this mental abuse was taken, how often or severely he was injured, if he injured or was forced to injure others – we don’t know.

But it’s obvious whatever happened to him started as a child and built from there. Which means he has years of abuse and power dynamics embedded into him. He has every right to be afraid. In fact, we are demonstrably told and shown often in canon that Kevin is afraid…but fear does not equate to cowardice. In fact, we know that bravery often means being scared and doing something anyway. And in many cases, that’s just what Kevin did (with a crutch named Andrew). But even before he entered his deal with Andrew, it's important to remember that even though he was brainwashed and beaten from a young age to understand that he would die if he betrayed the Moriyama family in some way, he left them.

This is always so significant to me because so many abuse victims stay in their situation thinking/hoping/praying it will get better – either because of an idea that their abuser will change (“they’re just having a hard time at work rn”) or that the victim will fix whatever flaw the abuser finds lacking. Or alternatively, they recognize the situation is bad, but they can’t leave because they feel like they have nowhere to go, no one who will help them, trapped by their lack of skills/contacts/money. In Kevin’s case, both situations rang true. And yet he left. He left, and in only a year and a half’s time he recovered from his injury and led his team to the championship.

But he is only at the start of his recovery. I think he’ll need years of therapy to recover from all that happened in the Nest. I think many of his emotional and social shortcomings are a direct consequence of that timeframe and he did not have the freedom to address them until the threat of the Moriyamas was removed. I do not think they are permanent parts of his personality – I think in time, he will be allowed to grow and recover and contribute much more to his relationships than he’s capable of doing at the end of The King’s Men.

Though the series finished, I think Kevin’s story is just beginning.

That’s why I think he’s fascinating to explore as a character. That’s why I love writing him right now because in many ways, his possibilities are endless. There’s so many opportunities to explore different facets of his story that we never get a chance to in canon. Kevin’s character and narrative is a tantalizing tease which many of us have fell hook, line, and sinker for. (Including yours truly.) We want to rabidly sink our teeth into it and shake it, like a dog with a bone.

So we do. 😉

Phew. Okay, that’s enough. None of what I’ve written above is new I’m sure to those of the fandom who have been here since the beginning or have become diehard Kevin fans. But thank you for letting me ramble in this ask, anon. Writing about Kevin has been a very fun and therapeutic adventure for me. So I’m so glad that there are others out there who are enjoying it too 😊

#thanks for coming to my TED talk about Kevin Day #it could actually be an entire series but you know...character limits #kevin day #tumblr asks #lovely people #thanks again for the ask anon! #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #david wymack

[mister-mickey]

Sexuality headcanons

(Does not have anything to do with the ship hcs, these are my personal hcs. It’s more related to the twitter au but even then it’s not 100% the same)

Experience doesn’t necessarily mean sex, just like dating and such

Darry

- Cis and gay lol

- He likes guys that fight (Paul, tim)

- That’s why he liked football so much lolol

- Despite this he doesn’t have a lot of experience with other guys because he only dated girls in highschool

Soda

- Bisexual ofc. Also cis but very connected to fem side

- His type is uhh. Mean ppl. He hates to admit it though and makes excuses for his partner/crush

- “No Sandy isn’t cheating on me she just has lots of guy friends!” “Steve isn’t mean he’s just bitey!”

- Has experience with lots of different ppl because he’s so in demand so he’s good at flirting (charming handsome boy)

Pony

- Hm. Also bisexual because if taht obvious crush on cherry but also everyone else in the book lmao. Non-binary in a “I don’t give a fuck about my gender” way. Still he/him

- Doesn’t have a set type, it’s literally just anyone. He meets someone? Oh wow, new crush.

- It seems like he’s attracted to assholes, but it’s actually just because everyone around him is an asshole

- No experience, he’s 14 and kind of losery (I love him still, not pb hate)

Twobit

- Bisexual but leans towards girl, cis

- Canon that he likes blondes, so I bet he’s made out with dally at a party at least once.

- Marcia is an obvious exception to this and he doesn’t understand it. He jokes about her dying her hair blonde but he really does like her as is

- Lots of experience I’m sure. He’s funny and charming, I’d be surprised if he didn’t

Dally

- Bisexual but leans toward guys, cis

- Likes people that kick his ass (tim, Sylvia) honestly his type is just people that see him for who he is

- Tim and Sylvia are his toxic exes that he keeps going back to. He hates it but they really are some of the only people that he feels understand him

- He’s Dallas, im pretty sure Ponyboy mentioned him having tons of flings so he’s got experience.

Steve

- Gay, and I read a really good fic where he was ftm and it rearranged my brain so he’s trans now

- His type is pretty boys (soda) he’s mostly only ever had a crush on soda so it’s not like he’s explored his type lol

- He dated evie because she was friends with Sandy and he wanted to double date with soda and Sandy so he could watch them the entire time (jealous mf)

- Zero experience, he refused to even kiss evie and he never had the guts to even look at other guys

Johnny

- Hm. Gay and cis, but he seriously questioned his gender for a bit because he didn’t have much of a self concept and he couldn’t imagine himself at all. He decided to stop thinking about it because it stressed him out

- His type is people that he thinks are better than him (Dallas, for being tuffer, pony, for being smarter) he thinks that being around cool people will make him feel better about himself

- It doesn’t work, but he still likes to do it. Anyway, pony and dally still make him feel better in other ways because they think he’s so cool

- No experience, nobody ever flirts with him (or even notices him) except for Sylvia that one time. He thinks he’s ugly but honestly he just needs to put himself out there

Tim

- Gay and ftm (projecting lolll) very few people know because he was really young when he transed. Like when he was like 4 and his parents were like “hm okay whatever we don’t care anyway.” Also itty bitty titty committee so he doesn’t even have to bind (jealous)

- His type is literally just tough guys. That’s why he dated dallas and why he likes darry. They’re both tough and good at fighting.

- also dated Sylvia but only to make dally mad (and he regretted it because he realized immediately afterwards that he was definitely gay. Sylvia thought it was funny)

- Lots of experience but only with select people (people he can trust)

Angela

- Bisexual but doesn’t realize it lol, cis

- She likes traditionally masculine guys and traditionally feminine girls. Idk why but she likes it. Tbf it’s the sixties she wouldn’t be exposed to many fem guys and masc girls. Maybe she had a crush on Sylvia

- Dated bryon and actually really liked him for a bit. She broke up with him for pb but regretted it lmao.

- Bryon was her first bf so no real experience. Also tim chases any possible beaus away so she’s real unlucky

Curly

- Gay and cis, but too stupid to realize that he’s gay

- His type is any man ever. (Saw tuffponyboy’s post about how curly likes dally, bryon, and Sodapop and I committed it to my belief system)

- But he also likes pony. Maybe he even realizes and is like “omg I’m a homosexual 😧” and he doesn’t realize that everyone around him is also gay and wouldn’t judge him.

- Zero experience, gets no bitches, loser. Also he’s fifteen and he cares more about fighting than smooching

Mark

- Aromantic, asexual and ftm. Idk I feel like it fits him.

- Honestly he cares more about his friends and family than anything else. He literally sold drugs ti support his family (look where that got him)

- Has dated girls before but he hated it so much. Even tried kissing a guy at a party but decided that everyone else was crazy for enjoying this stuff

- A little bit of experience from before he decided that it all just wasn’t for him

Bryon

- Bisexual and cis

- His type is shorter than him (he likes to be tall and feel strong)

- He dated angela and Cathy, but he kissed curly at a party once (claimed it was because he was drunk and curly looks like angela but it’s not true he just thought curly was a cutie (even he’s super annoying))

- He mentioned being a ladies man so yeah he’s got experience.

Cathy

- Straight and cis, but a mega ally !!

- Her type is thoughtful and also big muscles

- She really thought bryon was perfect until he had his, err, mental breakdown and flipped out. It really hurt and she was so worried about him but he shut her out for months so she ended up moving on.

- Pretty sure bryon was her first bf? But she got with pb so she’s got a little bit of experience now

M&M

- I think gay and nb, and he doesn’t care about pronouns at all. He’s nonchalant like that

- Had a crush on mark lol. And Randy. He doesn’t date anyone because the only person he’s come out to is Cathy

- He thinks curly jumps him because he’s gay. Doesn’t realize its because he’s a hippie (curly is stupid but not homophobic)

- No experience, he’s like 13 and has never ever dated. Maybe he’s danced with someone at a school dance but he has no charm

Cherry

- Cishet ally

- Her type is canonly jerks. Very funny miss cherry.

- She dated bob, liked dally, in the series she liked Tim too. Why is she like this 💔

- A bit of experience, she dated bob after all.

Bob

- Bisexual in a homophobic way, cis

- Type is attractive rich people. He would never be attracted to a greaser, he’d rather jump off a cliff

- Dated cherry, likes Randy. He wants a very traditional future with a spouse and two children and he doesn’t think he can get that with a poor person for whatever reason. He also wants to be the “man” in the relationship.

- Lots of experience because he’s a whore I think. Flirts with most any rich person.

Marcia

- Cishet, doesn’t know that gay people are actually real. (When cherry told her she thought it was a joke)

- Type is funny lol. That’s why she likes twobit. I guess that means Randy is somewhat funny

- She actually isn’t that funny herself, she just likes to laugh.

- Very little experience. Randy was her first bf

Randy

- Gay and cis

- He likes bob. That’s it !

- He legit isn’t attracted to anyone else. After bob died he changed his entire ideology and became a hippie !! He was down bad. He doesn’t give a fuck about Marcia she’s just a girl to him

- Only has experience with Marcia and it’s not really the experience he wants because he is bobsexual

#the outsiders #darry curtis #darry curtis headcanons #sodapop headcanons #sodapop curtis headcanons #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis headcanons #ponyboy curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #dallas winston #johnny cade #tim shepard #curly shepard #angela shepard #cathy carlson #m&m carlson #bryon douglas #mark jennings #bob sheldon #randy adderson #sherri valance #cherry valance #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #that was then this is now

[lorcandidlucienwill]

Hiiii!! First your posts give me life!!! I’m always waiting for the next one because I know you’re going to spit gems and speak facts 💁‍♀️.

I have a question/thought about the mates situation. People keep saying SJM will be exploring the rejected mating bond concept, specifically in Elain’s book….When did she say that? WHERE? From what I’ve seen and read, she did say it was an interesting concept (fate, mating bond vs agency and all that good stuff) but she also said she didn’t know if she would be exploring it in the future, let alone in Elain’s book or the ACOTAR series. So HOW in the world do people take that as a confirmation that she will absolutely do it in Elain’s book? Even the whole “what if the cauldron is wrong” argument. Well maybe she’ll use Elain’s book to demonstrate that in fact the cauldron is never wrong because it actually doesn’t decide anything. This frustrates me to no end.

Anyway, keep slaying Queen 💅!

My dear Anon, we shall have an Autumn wedding.

This is what SJM said:

“That’s something I find to be very interesting,” she replies. “What if the forces that be put you with the wrong person? Or what if you just decide, eh, I’m not interested. … There’s a lot to explore within the concept of mates and your agency about it. 

“I’m not going to say if I am exploring it in future books or not,” she continues, “but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”

She did NOT confirm that she would be exploring it at ANY point!!!! I do NOT know why people are acting like it is a guarantee.

What if the Cauldron was wrong? COULD be foreshadowing yes, but the answer is rarely that obvious LMAO. Amren told Nesta that there were other ways to fight beside a sword, but Nesta became a warrior. Most likely it's talking about Elain. So is it really so hard to believe that this is NOT talking about Elain at all, but someone else entirely?

The three most likely options for a rejected mating trope are as follows:

LoA-Helion: we get to explore the pain and angst of knowing a mate has married and had children with another, and dealing with the rejected trope for centuries, but will eventually get together in the end. SJM is not about to give Lucien's parents a tragic ending lmfao. And in her world, rejected mates=tragedy.

Mor-Eris: if we go in the direction that mating bonds can only occur between males and females and Mor and Eris are both gay, so they can never have feelings for each other. In which case we explore the difficulties associated with a bond that neither person wants yet the instincts are still there.

Tamlin-Amarantha: did anyone wonder WHY tf Amarantha was so obsessed with Tamlin? Like, I know he's hot and all, but goddamnit girl what the fuck? Now, if they were mates and Tamlin rejected her, it would make sense. It would also add more nuance to Tamlin AND Amarantha's characters, and we'd get to explore Tamlin's trauma post-UTM after being forced to reject and kill his mate and how that drove him a little mad.

But, the rejected bond is NOT a guarantee, so there may NOT be any rejected bonds. These are all just theories at this point. One thing I am CERTAIN of is that the rejected bond will CERTAINLY NOT be Elain and Lucien. Especially not when SJM dangled Gwyn in front of us. Now THAT one is fucking obvious lol.

#anon asks #tamlin #amarantha #eris vanserra #the morrigan #lady of autumn #helion spell cleaver #elucien #pro elucien #rejected mates

[pedrito-friskito]

road trip with frank headcanons for your celebration bc i’m a whore 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

if ur a whore i’m a whore 💕

LMAO but really yes you can here u GO this was fun 😏

road trip hc - frank castle x fem!reader

✨kay’s 300 follower celebration✨

okay so

frank does a lot of driving, right. like it’s a big part of his life, since shit hit the fan, he’s crossed a lot of state lines in a variety of vehicles, even darting up into canada a few times just because that’s where the road took him

but now, now he’s got you, and he likes driving a whole lot more with you in the car, invading his space, coating his senses with the scent of you instead of just stale fast food and gasoline

one thing is for sure: he’s touchy

like, he’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand on your thigh, curled around the meat of it, thumb stroking where you’re the softest. he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face the whole time, walking his fingers up and down your leg at red lights, squeezing lightly at a stop sign

when he goes to park the car (or truck or van or whatever happened to be available) he does that thing where he’ll turn in his seat to check behind him, one hand rotating the wheel beneath his palm while his other arm is thrown behind your head, gripping your headrest or laying behind you on the bench seat. if it’s the bench seat, he’ll thread his fingers into your hair once he’s done, tugging ever so slightly in a way that makes your whole body clench

you’ve asked him to let you drive a few times, and each time, it’s been a bit of a battle

“I dunno, sweetheart,” he drawls, head cocked to the side, “ya might just look too sexy drivin’ for me to handle myself.”

you roll your eyes. “it’s two hours to the next motel, castle. you can handle yourself.”

and he tries. he genuinely likes letting you drive. you’re so focused, both hands on the wheel and eyes glued to the road ahead. you bat his hand away when he tries to tease, sliding fingers under the hem of your shirt or trailing kisses up your arm to your shoulder

you’ve got some serious road rage, and your level of feral nearly matches his if someone ever cuts you off or if people are going too slow in the fast lane. your shouts are filthy, strings of curses that make even frank blush

eventually you get tired of it, much more content to sit passenger and read your book or play stupid games on your phone and feed frank snacks. sometimes you’ll read aloud and frank will just listen

he likes the trucks with the bench seats, cuz it makes it easier for you to get close to him

on long stretches of road, he likes to pull your feet into his lap. he’s got one hand on the wheel and the other curled around your foot, thumb pressing into your arch until you sigh with pleasure; it’s not long until your noises drive him so wild he has to pull off to the nearest hotel, or find a secluded patch of road to park at for a while

when it’s you driving the truck, frank goes full menace

there’s just enough space between your stomach and the steering wheel for his head, so that’s where it goes. he’ll just lie there, knees pressing against the window, watching your face, hand reaching up to pinch your chin or trail his fingers over your throat, watching it twitch under his touch

if he’s especially lucky, and you’re wearing one of those little sundresses that drive him absolutely mad, or loose shorts or a skirt, then he really can’t help himself

he won’t pull it on a highway, cuz it’s dangerous, but when it’s just the two of you on a country road, your hand gripping the steering wheel, then it’s fair game. he’s lifting your skirt to duck his head under the fabric, using two fingers to pull your panties to the side and lap at you with his tongue, groaning into the place where you’re the most sensitive, grunting when you reach a hand down to lock in his hair and yank

it’s less than a mile down the road before you’re pulling over to the side, throwing the truck into park and unbuckling your seatbelt. frank lifts his head just enough to get the strip of fabric off of you, and then he’s yanking on your hips, tilting you against the driver’s door so he has better access to where you’re dripping, your body forever reacting in kind to his

your release comes quick and easy, frank’s mouth more than practiced at hitting all your favourite spots, sometimes using his fingers to draw it out in that way that you like. more often than not though, he’s reaching for his belt buckle, sighing into your mouth as he covers you with him, leaning up and over you and pushing his cock into your soaked entrance

the windows fog up, streaked with fingerprints and dragged handprints, and when your hand flashes out and hits the steering wheel, the truck’s horn echoing across the road, frank just chuckles, grinding his hips deeper into you.

“tha’s my girl. tha’s my good fuckin’ girl.”

—————

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#kay’s 300 follower celebration #frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle imagine #frank castle au #jon bernthal #the punisher #the punisher smut #my fics #the punisher au #frank castle fluff #frank castle angst #frank castle headcanons

[4kiraa]

JOCK ITTO AND HIS “EMO” GF😱

nah cuz you can tell me itto nd his gf wouldn’t be total opposites…

cw!: fem!reader, talk of being emo☠️, reader just wears black and dresses kinda like those goths on pinterest that i be calling mommy, mentions of bullying really minor i swear, modern hs day au because i know absolutely nothing abt genshin LMAO. ALSO NAWT PROOF READ.

No one could believe what they were currently seeing.

A 6’5, jock who was known for being the “himbo” of their school, walking hand in hand with the all black wearing girl who was an entire foot shorter than him and who’s looks could also kill. whispers filled the air as girls who had been crushing on your bf since the dawn of time glared at your warm smiling faces.

no one could believe what they were currently seeing

JOCK ITTO! who for the past 2 weeks has been enchanted by you, a girl he sees every two days in the library either reading a book or listening to music through your black sonny earphones decorated with tiny little skull stickers. he was originally sent there by his teachers because he had been failing in almost every single subject. it’s not like he was dumb!…well ok he kinda is, but it was mainly because of his sports. being a jock with countless games at different schools along with practice was very hard!!!

JOCK ITTO! who told his gang of jocks about you, the mysterious and very pretty girl but was shocked to hear their response.

“oh, you mean y/n?” one of his friends cackled. “she’s no good news arataki” he said as he patted itto on the back. “yeah!” one of his other friends chimed in “i remember trying to askin’ her out once, she’s a dark beauty alright but man is she cold! before i could even finish she walked away from me!. im tell’n you man, shes totally stuck up” “ itto was surprised to say the least, ‘was that all true?’ i mean, how would he know? he’s never even talked to you before, he’s just stared at you like a lil creep admiring the way you brushed you hair , or how you would apply your lip gloss, and how- “you know itto” one of his friends said while interjecting his thoughts. “ a girl is the last thing you should be worrying about, we’ve got a game soon and our best player isn’t with us because he’s too busy trying to complete his homework” he was right, itto thought. he should be focusing on sports, not some girl. but still for some reason, he just couldn’t get you off his mind…

JOCK ITTO! Who after thinking about you for days, decided to go and talk to you instead of hearing about you from his friend’s experiences. “hey! i’m arataki itto, what’s your name!” he said while running towards you in the library “i’ve seen you a couple times before and i just wanted to say that-“ “SHHHH” the librarian loudly shushed him as itto covered his mouth. “sorry! n’yways as i was- he froze solid as your pretty mascara covered eyes looked him up and down, your plump lips parting to respond. “i’m sorry, do you need something?” itto, still frozen, started sweating. 'is she mad at me? why does she sound mad? is that always how she sounds😨?’ mans was stressed ok, and it didn’t help that you were a criminally beautiful girl because we all know despite this man being one of the most popular guys in school and having girl all across the damn country thirsting over him, he still has L rizz.

JOCK ITTO! Who, for the first time, saw you crack a warm hearted smile at his awkwardness, creating little black butterflies in his stomach. “i’m just kidding” you say will playfully hitting his arm ‘i’m never going to shower after this🫡’ itto thought. “my name is y/n, i’ve seen you in the library for the past few weeks, you need any help?

JOCK ITTO! who you now help out with his homework, both of you learning new things about each other. for him, he learns about your style and ‘dark’ interests. And for him, you realize that’s he’s actually not so dumb. and as the two of you gradually grow closer, the more stares and whispers that you both gain.

“Nahh, is that y/n and itto? ain no way😨”

“shut up, she’ll hear you and sacrifice you, i heard that’s what then emos be doing bruh”

JOCK ITTO! who after 3 months, finally decided to ask you out, fumbling over his words and looking like a damn fool if i’m being honest.But no thing could prepare him for your answer. “so you like me huh?” you said in a sly tone. “sure, let’s go out itto, show me a good time” then bro fainted…

“um itto, itto… you alright?” dw about him he just fainted from joy 🤗

No one could believe what they were currently seeing.

A 6’5, jock who was known for being the “himbo” of their school, walking hand in hand with the all black wearing girl who was an entire foot shorter than him and who’s looks could also kill. whispers filled the air as girls who had been crushing on your bf since the dawn of time glared at your warm smiling faces. But you didn’t care, and neither did your boyfriend.

LMAO I FORGOT TO PUT TAGS ND TS FLOPPED SO HARD😭

sorry ngl ts was ass at the end cuz this been in my drafts since 1987. also emorights ok bai:3 

#itto x reader #genshin itto #itto #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #anime x reader #genshin fluff #itto x y/n