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spikesbimbo · 3 years

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Drunk in Love

Summary: Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.

Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader

Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel

18+ Minors DNI

You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.

“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory

“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.

This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.

You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.

Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.

And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)

But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.

Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.

He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.

“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.

You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.

“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.

“Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.

“I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.

Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.

“When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.

Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter

“Fuck.” He muttered

“Any’all got a light?”

No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.

“Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.

“K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.

You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.

And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.

You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.

You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.

You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).

You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.

Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.

“What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.

“Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.

“Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.

“You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.

“Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.

You started to “walk” towards your house resting your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.

“I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.

“Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned blowing out the smoke out with his words.

You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.

"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.

“C’you make me a house?” He asks.

You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.

“Thanks doll” He smirks.

“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.

He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.

His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.

“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.

“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.

“s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.

You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.

“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.

He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.

When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.

He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.

“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.

“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.

He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.

Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.

“Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.

Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.

He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.

You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”

You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.

You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.

You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.

“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.

But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do. He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.

“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”

“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?

“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.

He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.

“Just you, in general…” You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.

But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.

"I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated

Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.

He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.

You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.

But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.

Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?

You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.

“y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.

You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.

Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.

I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters

“You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.

“You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”

“Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.

"I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them. I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of before I go to sleep at night."

You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?

He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”

He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.

“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.

He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.

He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”

“yeah” You start.

“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?

“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.

His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.

“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”

You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs

“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.

“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.

Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa

Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.

“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.

His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it. You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.

Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles

“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.

“So are you.”

He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.

You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body. You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.

“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.

“I got it that day you faked sick”

“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.

He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.

This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.

“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.

“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.

“You still with that other girl?”

“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”

“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.

“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.

“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.

But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.

“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.

“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.

“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.

“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”

“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.

“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.

“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”

He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.

“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.

He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”

He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.

“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.

Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?

“M’always wet.” you responded.

From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.

“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.

You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.

“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.

“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.

“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.

“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.

He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.

He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.

The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”

His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.

“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused. He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body.

“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.

Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.

“Shh, just look at me, doll.”

You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.

He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.

“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.

Shawty, your body is so exciting

Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.

He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”

But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.

It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.

“Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.

“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.

“Look how good you take it.”

“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.

“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.

He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears. He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more.

You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.

His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.

You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.

“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.

“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.

You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.

Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.

He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.

“Yeah…fuck baby”

I love when you get on top and you ride it

You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.

“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.

“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.

“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.

“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.

He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.

His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.

The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.

You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.

He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.

“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.

“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy. Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.

“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.

“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.

“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.

“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.

“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”

You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.

“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.

He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.

“Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.

“Shh baby im right here.”

He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.

“It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.

“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.

He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.

“Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.

“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.

“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.

“Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.

“I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.

“I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.

“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.

“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.

“Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”

#haikyuu x reader #issei x reader #matsukawa x reader #mattsun x reader #matsuwaka issei #haikyuu smut #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #matsukawa issei x reader #tw drunk sex #tw under the influence

2K notes · View notes

twodimecastle · 3 years

Text

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #dr spencer reid #my writing #spencer reid fluff

277 notes · View notes

fwkei · 3 years

Text

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

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You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own.

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more.

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat.

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid.

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything.

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face.

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked

“Oh good!” they both said

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema

“A brothel..” you said under your breath

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration.

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor.

You thought to yourself

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement.

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being.

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling

“I’m sure..!” you smiled

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex.

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest.

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed

“Hi!” you said frantically

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side.

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling

“Right!” you said getting up

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling

“Okay.” you said doing as he said

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you.

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers

“Yeah that's right.” you said

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve

That went pretty well.

You thought

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open.

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head

Is this Ken?

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are.

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly.

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him.

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something.

“Are you okay?” you asked

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something.

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already.

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him.

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave.

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you.

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work.

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember?

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before.

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head.

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity.

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that.

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock

“Come in.” he said

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot.

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry.

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then.

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter

“..Thanks” he said

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him

“Yeah..” he said smiling

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff

“Why’d you do it?” he asked

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled.

“Likewise.”

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down.

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face.

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock.

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revenger x reader #draken #draken x reader #fluff #angst #idk lmfao #toman #draken x y/n #tokyo rev

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fairlyspnfanfic · 3 years

Text

The Ties That Bind Us - Part 7

Summary: When your past comes back to haunt you, who will prevail? Hunting had been your life since you were 4 years old. The monsters that started you on that path were resurfacing, and you knew what you had to do. But nothing is ever truly secret, and nothing is ever that cut and dry with the Winchester’s in tow.

A/N: This is a new one that is coming from a few requests. I’m not going to post the actual requests because…well because it would spoil the story line and I’m pretty into this one.

A/N 2: This is some fluff for you. Just wait. We aren’t quite done yet.

Words: 2381

Warnings: Trauma, medical terminology, stress, hospital waiting room

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE PART SIX

I opened my eyes slowly as I raised my hands to my face, gently rubbing my eyelids and pulling the sandy bits of sleep out of the corners of my eyes. My entire body was sore, and pain radiated its way from my back straight through my abdomen as I quickly wrapped my arm around my waist, wincing as I attempted to sit up straight.

The dim, unflattering glow of the fluorescent lights above my bed lit up just a small portion of the hospital room, but it was enough for my eyes to land on and focus on the slumped over form in the chair that was pressed up to the side of my bed. Sam’s long hair was draped over his face as he slept. Small, discernable breaths coming in and out of his mouth which hung open. I laughed as a loud snore echoed throughout the room. My laughter only served to increase my pain and I yelped in surprise as a sharp twinge of agony shot through me.

Sam woke almost instantly, falling out of the chair as his feet hit the floor and his hands rested on the side of my bed. “Y/N,” he questioned. “What’s wrong?” His hand flew to my forehead, and his eyes searched mine for any indication of what was going on.

I took a deep breath, gasping at first, but calming myself within a few breaths. I shook my head. “I’m fine, it’s fine.” Slowly, I propped myself up and leaned against my pillow, sitting up as best as I could.

He looked at me suspiciously. “I’m gonna go get the doctor,” he said, pointing his thumb behind him towards the door. I nodded silently as he stood up and jogged out the doorway.

I couldn’t hear the name he was calling as he went down the hall, farther and farther from my room. But I was struggling to care. My memories were flooding my head. The image of my mother making dinner, eating dinner with my parents, lounging on the beach with them, the comfort their voices brought me. Turning my head, I looked out the window down into the parking lot. It was cold and gray out and the windowpane was coated in raindrops that were continuously falling. I watched them fall, feeling my chest tighten and seem to drop into my body as I choked back tears.

It wasn’t long before footsteps were coming through the door and heading for me. “Ms. Y/L/N, it’s good to have you with us.” The doctor’s cheery voice was high pitched and more excited than I could muster to pretend to be. Sam lingered in the hallway, his phone held up to his ear as he paced back and forth, his eyes fixed on me.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor looked at me, chart in hand.

My eyes drifted over to her face, struggling to fixate on her. I shrugged noncommittally. “Are you in any pain?” She walked over to the machine that stood next to me, monitoring my vitals and pushing fluids through my veins. Her hand reached out to the control box, pushing a few buttons as she did so, before looking back down at me.

“Some,” I muttered, my voice gravelly. “It’s fine.”

She frowned slightly. “The goal is to have no pain for you. You’ve got a lot of healing to do. I’ll have your dosage updated.” I watched as she made a note in my chart before setting it down on the side table. She drew her stethoscope off her neck and placed the buds in her ears. Leaning towards me, she placed a gentle hand on my back, encouraging me to lean forward, as she pressed the stethoscope just below my shoulder blade. I took an instinctive deep breath, choking as my throat constricted, feeling as though I was drowning.

“It’s okay,” she said, lighting patting my shoulder as she moved the diaphragm of her stethoscope to my chest. “You don’t have to take deep breaths. Just breathe normally,” she said. “You were intubated for quite a while. It’s going to take a bit for your windpipe to heal.”

Sam had taken a few steps into the room when my coughing had begun, and he was staring at me still; his cell phone pressed to his ear, but the microphone piece tilted closer to his chin. I nodded at him quickly, closing my eyes reassuringly. He nodded back and stepped back into the hallway, continuing his conversation.

The doctor finished her exam, poking and prodding, palpating and moving every part of my body that she could, and left the room, promising more pain medication and physical therapy. Once she had gone, Sam peered into the room again, making eye contact with me as he ended his call.

“Hey,” he said, just above a whisper with a hint of sympathy in his voice.

“I’m fine, Sam,” I insisted as I turned my head back to the window and the falling raindrops.

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” Sam’s voice was tough and firm now. My head snapped quickly back at him, glaring at him.

He held his hands up as if in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying what I was told to say.” I cocked my head quizzically at him.

Sam rolled his eyes at me as if to tell me I should know what he was referring to. “Dean,” I asked. Sam nodded curtly. “Where is he?”

The last that I could remember, he had been lying next to me, his hand gently stroking my arm as I fell into a fitful sleep.

Sam dropped his head and sauntered over to the chair next to me once again, turning it around and taking a backwards seat in it. His arms leaned across the high back of the chair, creating a makeshift pillow with his forearms which he instantly leaned his chin against. His eyes were locked on mine, but he said nothing.

“Sam,” I insisted, my eyes narrowing as I urged him to speak. “Sam don’t make me yell. Everything hurts, and it’ll suck. But I’ll do it.”

He forcibly closed his eyes, irritation evident in his sigh as he pried his eyelids open and glowered at me. “He’s on his way.” I nodded, drawing my legs slowly up towards my torso, attempting to fold myself up into a ball.

“Y/N,” he began. “This was reckless.” I rolled my eyes in response. “I mean it. You ran out there without backup, barely armed, on foot, no getaway plan. It was reckless. You could’ve been killed.” He was getting louder now but kept his voice as even keel as possible. “You almost died, Y/N.” His eyes were glassy as he spoke, the words penetrating through my brittle exterior.

I took as deep of a breath as I could, holding the impulse to cough back as I dropped my head and wrapped my arms around one knee. “I know,” I said, the words full of hope and envy.

“You don’t exactly sound happy that you survived.” His words were a statement; accusatory in all the words he left unsaid. I slowly lifted my head, making eye contact with Sam once again as tears began to flow down my cheeks unbidden.

Before I could speak again, a nurse was coming through the doorway, a vial of clear liquid in hand which she quickly connected to my IV.

“This will help with the pain,” she assured me, as she slowly depressed the plunger.

Minutes passed by after the nurse left. Minutes that passed in silence as Sam continued scowling at me and I left him unanswered and unaddressed. My eyelids began to feel heavy, and the room seemed to be slowly spinning. I shut my eyes, leaning back again and spreading my legs out in front of me once more as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up, feeling slightly groggy but the pain had dissipated. Sam was no longer sitting in the chair next to me and I could see that the sun had gone down outside. Slowly, I kicked my legs off the bed and felt my feet hit the floor. My hands pressed down on the bed on either side of my hips, pushing me up until I was standing on my own. The ache in my back was dull, but still present, and I could feel the weakness in my knees as soon as I put weight on them. But still, I reached out my hand, grasping the silver, metal pole holding the IV bag and took a few steps, each one shakier than the last. My breaths were labored but I was determined to move around. I reached my free hand around my back, ensuring that my gown had been sufficiently tied and that I wasn’t about to moon half the hospital. I held it secured between my fingers just in case.

My foot had just passed the end of the bed, and I turned toward the door when a familiar voice began chastising me.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dean’s worried voice rang out deeply as he walked through the door, his steps quickening as he reached for me. With his right arm wrapped around my waist, he gently turned me back towards the bed, muttering the entire way. “You trying to give me a heart attack? Stubborn as a mule. Gonna get yourself killed.”

I smiled silently, enjoying the familiarity that was Dean’s castigation. “I’m fine, Dean,” I assured him in my froggy voice. “See?” I held my hands up. “All parts attached and everything.” He sat me down on my bed slowly, taking care to lift each leg and tuck them underneath the comforter.

“The nurse said I would be able to go home tomorrow,” I stretched the truth. In reality, physical therapy was due to start tomorrow and I would possibly be discharged in a week’s time.

“Yeah, you’re not full of it at all, are you?” His eyes had a glow to them as he gave me half a smile. His hand was wrapped around my calf as he gently moved it just enough so that he could sit on the bed next to me; his left leg bent and leaning on the mattress as he leaned forward, staring at me.

“How are you, really?” All signs of teasing were gone now, and his expression meant he was serious. I swallowed hard, unwilling to tell him the truth. I settled for truth adjacent.

“The pain isn’t too bad anymore. I could go with being a bit stronger on my feet though.”

“Yeah, you know that’s not what I’m asking about.” His eyes were pensive as if he were trying to draw the truth from me like a salve. I gave him a quizzical look, unsure of what he was referring to.

“Y/N,” he whispered my name, almost like a prayer. “You said you wanted to go back. Before. When you woke up. That you’d made your choice and you were supposed to stay.” He stared at me, expecting me to fill the silence that loomed over us both. But I couldn’t bring my eyes to meet his, let alone form words to explain everything.

He reached his hand out, gently stroking my chin as he pulled my attention to his face. “Dean,” I whispered, pleading for him not to continue down this line of questioning.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he asked. “Please.” He was begging now, his eyes glassing over and desperation evident in his tone.

“I can’t,” I muttered, my voice trembling. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than the guilt and heartache that would be plastered on his face if I had told him the truth. If I had admitted to him where I was, and where I had chosen to stay.

Dean leaned forward, bending over himself in order to press his forehead against mine as he sighed in exasperation. “How did I know you were going to say that?”

I smiled shyly, letting a small, forced breath out through my nose as I reached out for his shoulder, nudging him to lay down next to me. He did as I had wordlessly requested, uncrossing his leg and leaning himself ever so languidly down next to me. His hands were clasped together on his abdomen, and his feet were tapping stressfully as he crossed his ankles at the foot of the bed.

“Everything’s fine,” I told him, nuzzling my chin into his shoulder as he grunted his disagreement with my statement. I took a deep breath in, enveloping myself in the calming scent that was Dean Winchester. Closing my eyes, I began to drift off, staying as aware as possible.

“Y/N?” He asked sheepishly as he turned his head to face me.

“Mm hmm?”

“I need you to stay with me,” he admitted. I opened my eyes, looking directly up into his caramel-apple orbs. The ones that were so comforting in their warmth, and now so eager in their desperation.

“Okay,” I returned.

“How do I get you to stay with me?” I shrugged in response, unsure as to what the right answer would be.

“I need you to tell me. Cause I’m pissed off all the time, I’m rude and dirty, and I get so sick of all the crap in my life. But you?” His words were rushed and panicked. “You make all that disappear. Even when I'm an idiot.” He paused for a moment; his eyes still stuck to mine. “I need you to stay with me. No matter what. Doesn’t matter what it takes or what I have to do.”

I swallowed hard in response; my mind blank and my heart rate accelerating as evidenced by the rapid beeping from the monitor behind me.

“I’ll stay,” I whispered, my voice cracking as I did so.

He nodded swiftly. “Good,” he whispered in return. “Cause I’m about to make it really hard for you to leave.” His words threw me for a loop and before I could fully process them, he had perched his hand on my chin and was pulling me closer towards him as his gentle, warm lips pressed against mine, dancing together to a tune we both seemed to know by heart.

To be continued….

Part Eight

Taglist (Tag requests are open):

@vicmc624 @waywardprincesa @heyyy-hey-babyyy @carissime72 @deans-baby-momma @formulafun @woodworthti666 @yetanotherreader @crashlyrose @hobby27 @gabby913 @jxackles @polina-93 @supernaturaladdictsblog @fandomoverdose666 @deans-baby-momma @deanwanddamons @tazzi-baby @acertainhero @lilulo-12 @wonderfulworldofwinchester@wonderfulworldofwinchester @slamminmine @mimaria420

(Desperate attempt to get my faves to notice me) @thinkinghardhardlythinking @smol-and-grumpy @wonder-cole-reads @watermelonlipstick @that-one-gay-girl @waywardbaby

#spn fanfic #spn fanfic series #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader #sam x reader #supernatural #fluff #angst #slow burn #reader insert #reader imagines #oneshot #fairlyspnfanfic #the ties that bind us

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slytherinbarnes · 3 years

Text

Seasons Change [4]

iv. i will wait for you (as the leaves fall to the ground)

pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: a little angst.

summary: despite running, the fallout from rome eventually catches up with you.

a/n: alright, that’s it!!! this is a wrap on this miniseries! please let me know what you think, I hope you enjoyed this series!

previous chapter // series masterlist // full masterlist

September 22, New York City.

The first phone call comes the day after you leave Rome, while you’re strapped into a Quinjet and heading to Siberia.

You know it’s Steve, because so few people have your number for your phone, and when the call comes in you put your phone on silent and slide it into your bag, not ready to confront the reality of what you discovered while playing pretend with Steve in Rome.

You’re falling in love with him.

When you initially proposed the friends with benefits arrangement, you thought there was no way you’d be the first to break the agreement and get attached. You’ve always been good at avoiding connections with others, and you thought Steve would be no exception. It seems as though you underestimated the pull of his personality though. He’s magnetic, and you can’t help but want to be around him.

And maybe he feels the same, you did see his drawings of you, but maybe those mean nothing, and admitting to your feelings will just have you making a fool of yourself. You don’t want to be the first to admit that you failed, that you broke the agreement, so you decide to run from your problems instead, the way you always have, burying yourself in work and using it as an excuse to avoid reality.

Steve calls again when you’re in Mozambique.

And Paris.

And Florida.

And Brazil.

But after a while, he stops calling. And the realization is heartbreaking.

In September, Fury says no more. Even he can tell you’re getting run down and clearly using work as an excuse to run from your personal life.

He puts you on a mandatory month long break, and after that he promises that your missions for the rest of the year will be stateside, giving you time to get your life together, giving you time to slow down and stop running.

When you land in New York, you realize that you missed the city more than you realized. The first thing you do is call your parents and tell them about your break, promising to visit them as soon as you get settled in. You hear an excitement in your mother's voice that you haven’t heard in years, and you realize now it’s been a while since you’ve been home, your longest time away yet, and maybe now, it’s time for you to stop running from everything.

No more running from your parents, or your trauma, or the memories of your brother. It’s time for you to sit down and figure everything out, time for you to visit your parents and talk about your brother and what his loss has meant to you, done to you. Time for you to admit your feelings to yourself, and to Steve, even if it ruins things between you.

Of course, that’s easier said than done.

Instead of heading to the Avengers Compound and staying in the room you have there, you go to your apartment instead, the one you just can’t seem to let go of. It's the first place you moved to when you got to the city, and it’s rent controlled, which makes it even harder to give up. You’re not here much anymore, but strangely, it’s still home to you.

More importantly, you have no chance of running into Steve here.

You spend the first week home catching up on any remaining paperwork and reading the same three books on your barren bookcase. On day 9, you switch on the TV, only to switch it off again within minutes, too overwhelmed with the choices of what to watch. Instead, you dig out an old puzzle, one of the few belongings in your apartment, and you spend two days piecing it together, listening to music as you work. On day 12, you wander to the fridge for a snack, only to pull the door open and find the shelves empty, wiped clean of the food you bought when you first arrived back home.

Sighing, you head to your room and pull on some pants and shoes, deciding a quick grocery trip will help to kill some time. You walk to one of the markets nearby, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows on the walls of the buildings lining the street, and a crisp breeze blows around you, promising an approach of fall.

When you reach the store, you grab a basket, looping your arm through it as you wander through the aisles, grabbing anything that sounds appealing to you. Wandering through a store without a list, and while hungry, is dangerous, and soon your basket is full of snacks and no meals. Making a deal with yourself, you decide the snacks can stay as long as you get a few other things to go along with it. Heading towards the produce, you grab a few things for salads and sandwiches, before deciding a head of lettuce should round out your basket and complete your trip.

As you reach for one of the heads of lettuce, another hand closes on top of yours, you and someone else reaching for the vegetable at the same time. You lift it and turn, intending to offer the head to the other person and grab a different one for yourself, only to drop it when you turn and lock eyes with Steve. His brows shoot up when he locks eyes with you, clearly surprised to see you in New York, and you send a silent curse to the Universe for making you do this now. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Steve smiles a little, the air between you tense and awkward. “When did you get home?”

“Uh… two weeks ago.”

His brows shoot up again, and he mutters, “Really?” You swear you hear disappointment in his voice, and it makes guilt flood your system. “Wow, that’s great.”

“Yeah.”

The air is thick with tension, and you squirm, aware that both of you now know that you’re avoiding him, no longer able to use work as an excuse. Steve shakes his head a little, turning to sit his basket on the ground, deciding to jump head first into the conversation. “I thought things were good after Rome.”

“They were!”

“Then why have you been avoiding me? You just up and left Rome, no note or anything, and you haven’t answered any of my calls.”

“I was-” You cut yourself off, about to use work as an excuse again, and you remember your earlier conversation to yourself. No more running. “I think I’ve been lying to myself.”

Steve shakes his head, not understanding. “What do you mean?”

Someone brushes past you to grab a bundle of carrots, and you almost laugh at the situation; confessing your feelings in a grocery store, after spending nearly two weeks straight locked up in your apartment, avoiding everyone. “I have feelings for you.”

Steve looks surprised again, and you hear him suck in a sharp breath, so you barrel on, wanting to get the confession out before he stops you. “And I know I shouldn’t say that because of our arrangement, but I feel like I should tell you because I promised myself I would stop running from everything.”

“What about work? We’re both always so busy, and-”

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I’m not too busy, I mean. At least, not for the next few months. I spent 9 months away from home this year, and Fury decided to ground me for a few months and only take missions stateside, at least through the end of the year. I have a few things to take care of with my parents, but other than that, I’m free.”

Steve nods once, but says nothing, his eyes watching you closely. You want to squirm beneath his gaze, waiting with bated breath as he looks at you, but you force yourself to stand tall and wait for the rejection. “I’ve been thinking about stepping back more, letting Bucky and Sam have more responsibility.”

“So what are you saying?”

“No more running.” Steve steps forward, both of his hands reaching out and grabbing you, pulling you towards him quickly and crashing his lips to yours. You drop your basket, hearing it clatter by your feet as you reach out and grab Steve, pulling him close to you. You lose yourself in the kiss, realizing now how much you missed this, and Steve seems to feel the same, because he lets out a soft sigh before he pulls away and whispers, “I have feelings for you too, and I want to do this if you do.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

You look around, awkwardly realizing that you’ve confessed your love and drawn the eyes of other shoppers while standing in front of the lettuce. You reach down and grab your discarded basket, standing up straight again and looking at Steve. “So, what now?”

“Well, I heard you have a thing for cinnamon rolls, and I just so happen to know the perfect place to get some. All you have to do is say yes.”

Without hesitating, you reply, “Yes.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader smut #steve rogers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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neutron-stars-collision · 3 years

Text

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 9 - ‘The Kindest of Kisses Break the Hardest of Hearts”

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 (swear I’ll make a masterlist soon)

Summary: Back in London, you find unexpected help in the form of Ives. But when Neil comes back sparks fly... ✨

Warnings: Swearing.

Author’s Notes: So here’s the chapter I’m incredibly excited about... Suppose I should thank Dior for inspiration in this one. Hope you enjoy this as much as I loved writing the last scene! Please let me know what you think!

You did not remember the last time you were this happy to be back in London. After the mission in Paris was done, Jasper went back to Boston, and you were free to do what you wanted. You contacted TP, told him how the mission went (without certain details), and in return, got told to wait for more information regarding the next steps. By your estimation, it was less than two weeks left till Kiev and the day when the mysterious plan will be set into motion. You were scared.

Ever since that day in Paris when Neil called, you had a difficult time maintaining normal conversation with him. He would message asking about something as mundane as how your day went, and you would only respond with a short sentence. You could not really explain it if asked. It was as though after hearing his voice and letting yourself have that conversation with him, all the doubts came back with a tripled strength. Suddenly you could almost believe Jasper and his harsh words suggesting that you were not important in Neil’s eyes. Maybe he just liked flirting, and you were conveniently there? That sounded rather plausible. Ever since you started naming those thoughts, an ache in your chest was hard to ignore. And so you did the best you could, which in this case meant low-key ghosting Neil and losing yourself in training and work.

Surely with enough time and space, you would get over it (him), right?

That was the state of your mind the day when rather surprising help appeared. You have been back in London for a few days and have not really interacted with anyone. Usually, you would spend two hours in the shooting range and then in a sparring session. After you were done, you would retreat to your room and try to ignore the texts that were still occasionally coming.

“How’s London treating you? Say hello to Anna from me” you glanced at the screen and frowned.

The instant temptation to text back was still there. Only now, it was tainted with much more anxiety and uncertainty.

“It’s alright, rather quiet. I haven’t seen her around though. Maybe she’s moping after you”

Like I am? You sighed and chose to focus on notes from the physics class. You were saved from the study by an unexpected knock on the door. Without thinking, you got up and opened it, only to see Ives standing there with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hi” you muttered, worried you have forgotten how to behave like a human being.

“Hello, love” he grinned “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“No, I was actually rather bored” you admitted with a sheepish smile.

You heard the distinct buzz of a text message but chose to ignore it. You were slowly getting better at the game.

“That’s terrific because I thought we could have a coffee in the canteen and chat” Ives’ thick cockney accent was somewhat adorable.

And you could definitely do with a distraction.

“I’d love that” you beamed back at him and left the room, locking the door behind you.

As you walked side by side along the corridor, you struggled to say something.

“How did you know I’m here?” finally you settled for a rather easy question.

“I’ve seen you at the shooting range in the morning” he watched you closely for a short moment “You’re fucking amazing, did you know that?”

“Oh no, I’m really not” you felt your face heat up.

“Yeah you are” he playfully nudged you in the side “You could probably teach me a thing or two”.

You glared at him and then quickly considered your options.

“Only if you taught me how not to be knocked out within the first two minutes of the hand in hand combat” you knew you could use help in that department.

“Deal?” Ives stopped and turned to you with an outstretched hand.

“Deal” you shook it with a grin.

Once you made it to the mess hall, you noticed with relief that it was rather quiet. You both made coffee and sat down at the table in the corner. After a few moments of comfortable silence when you sipped your drinks, Ives spoke up:

“What have you been up to?” he was eyeing you curiously.

Even though you barely knew him, you felt at ease. There was no enigma of TP to him or Neil’s intensity. Instead, he was just a friendly bloke with sharp wits.

“Oh you know, shit mission in New York and now even shittier one in Paris” you frowned at the fresh memories “Though I suppose the recent one at least ended with success” you mused.

It was true not all of your missions have ended with a huge fuck up. And that was somewhat encouraging.

“With Jasper?”

“Yeah” your frown deepened, and Ives grinned.

“My condolences. He’s a right pain in the ass”

“Well said” you laughed, finally feeling some of the tension of the last few days dissolve.

But it was not meant to be for long. Before either of you spoke again, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of the pocket and glanced at the received text. It was him, of course. You grimaced and placed the phone screen down on the table as if to avoid the temptation. All the while you felt Ives’s attentive gaze. He has not missed a thing.

“Neil?” he asked, watching you closely with a neutral face.

“Yeah…” you shrugged, avoiding his stare “I’ll probably sound pathetic… but do you know where he is?”

Once the question was out of your mouth, you felt your cheeks heat up. It was one thing to worry about him daily. Another to actually voice the worries. But Ives did not seem to mind. He quickly considered something before leaning over the table.

“He’s in India, dealing with some sudden disruption. I was there with him in the beginning” at your unspoken question, he added “He’s fine, often said that’s partially thanks to you” he eyed you carefully, and you looked down at the table, flustered.

“It’s more that if I wasn’t there, he wouldn’t even need help in the first place” you mumbled, feeling the guilt gnaw at your heart.

Still, sometimes you kept wondering why on earth had he decided to shield you back in the bar. But any possible answer to the question meant having to assume something about Neil’s intentions. And that was dangerous territory.

“Should I ask?” Ives’ question brought you back to the present moment.

“Better not” you smiled wryly, and he just nodded.

“He wouldn’t shut up about you sometimes, you know” he spoke up again after a short silence, making you look up.

You were not sure you liked the cheeky smirk that appeared on Ives’ face. You were not going to give in.

“He’ll get over it in no time, I’m sure” you feigned nonchalance as you finished your coffee and met his gaze.

“Are you two good?”

You just shrugged. To be frank, you had no clue how to answer that. Was there even such an entity as ‘you two’ when it came to you and Neil?

“Well, whatever is going on, know that I’m ready to slap some sense into him if needed” Ives grinned at you, and you beamed back.

“Appreciated”

The next few minutes passed in companionable silence. That is until your brain rudely decided to suggest another pressing question.

“Is he there… alone?” you cringed as soon as you said it aloud.

No point in trying to sound disinterested…

“Nah, Wheeler stayed with a couple of others” his stare was way too knowing.

You felt a sharp stab of pain in your heart. What even… There was no reason to be jealous. Right? As you were internally debating what the new feelings were supposed to mean, you failed to notice Ives’ grinning at your distress.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous” he was enjoying it way too much.

“What? No, I’m not” you tried to scoff at this insinuation but failed miserably.

“Yeah, you are” that’s how you learnt that Ives had his own version of a shit-eating grin.

Was that a part of the Tenet work application?

“Mate, Neil and Wheeler wouldn’t fuck each other even if I paid them. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you” Ives wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you groaned.

You glared at him, unable to come up with any good response.

“What? I may have only seen you two together once, but it was clear to me that dear Neil is interested. Very much so” he smirked at your wide-eyed stare “But I don’t think that’s in any way news for you” he squinted his eyes as though trying to see right through your soul.

“Please, let’s leave psychoanalysis for another date” you grabbed the phone from the table and looked at him pleadingly.

“Of course” he grinned “When shall we have our first sparring lesson?”

“Tomorrow morning. Be there at 9” you got up “Thanks for the chat”

“Anytime, love” he waved as you left the canteen.

*** Combat lessons with Ives have proven to be a gift from the gods in the days that followed. He would accompany you to the shooting range afterward as well under the pretence of wanting to learn from you. Even though you were sure it was utter bullshit as he could hit the marks as well as you, if not better, you appreciated the sentiment. To say that his help in the sparring sessions meant you have greatly improved would be an overstatement, but certainly, additional tips slowly started to make a difference. All that distraction meant you also spent much less time wondering about Neil’s whereabouts and asking yourself existential questions about your own feelings. That was probably the best outcome of the situation.

Another morning of the sparring session began with you and Ives meeting in the gym as usual.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as you entered the gym.

“More or less” you grinned, stifling a yawn.

Last night you spent way too much time overthinking the text exchange with Neil. All it took was for him to mention ‘the fun you had in New York’ and then compare it to the recent night undercover. To you, it meant that Jasper was right, and you were just another ‘flirting companion’. And that shit hurt.

“That will have to do then” he tossed a water bottle in your direction, and you caught it easily.

You set it down on the side and the mat and stood facing Ives. After a short warm-up, he began showing you the way of blocking punches aimed at your upper body. While the demonstration always looked easy, once you went onto the practice, you have begun to struggle. After getting a third light punch to the shoulder, you huffed:

“Maybe I should just give up and become a sniper” you rubbed the aching spot.

“That could work” he grinned “Though I’m not sure how Neil would feel about that career change”

“Fuck Neil” you made sure to put up your guard, expecting another punch.

“I see how it is” Ives smirked before he threw a hit towards your other shoulder.

This one you blocked. And the one afterward as well. Slowly, with only a few mistakes, you got the hang of the game. That is until you were interrupted by someone clearing their throat by the door. You both turned to see Anna standing there.

“Y/N, can I speak to you for a moment?” she sent you a fake smile.

Christ…

“Of course”

You looked at Ives with panic in your eyes before you followed her into the corridor. Anna was clearly uncomfortable with having to talk to you, and that did not ease the tension.

“What’s the matter?” you spoke up first, hating the awkwardness of the moment.

“Neil called me yesterday” she paused, and you frowned.

“Yeah?” if she wanted to torture you, she has succeeded.

“He wanted me to let you know that they got Steiner in New York” despite Anna’s best attempts at keeping her face neutral, you knew she was enjoying this.

“Okay, thanks” you smiled weakly, trying to ignore the jealousy building up in your chest.

“Oh, and he says he should be back next week” now she was smiling dazzlingly.

“Great” you mumbled and showed her your brightest grin “Thank you”

With that, you chose to end the tortures for you both and went back into the gym. At Ives’ questioning stare, you just glared. He understood instantly.

“Fuck Neil?” he offered you a sip from the water bottle, which you gladly accepted.

“Mhmm”

There was so much to unpack from what Anna told you. Partially, you knew your ghosting was to be blamed for the situation but still, it hurt. Especially the unspoken fact that Neil has called her. You knew you were being ridiculous but could not ignore the feelings that were attacking every fibre of your being.

“Ready for another round?” Ives looked at you worriedly.

“Absolutely”

*** A few days later, as you left a meeting covering suspicious activity around London, your head was most certainly elsewhere. Ever since the awkward situation with Anna, you were not sure what to do with yourself. Only carefree moments were those you spent in the shooting range or learning hand to hand combat with Ives, who was surprisingly great at distracting you.

Walking along the corridor, you were too busy worrying about all those texts you have ignored to see where you were going. With eyes trained on the floor, you barely registered the surroundings. And that is why you were incredibly surprised when you unexpectedly collided with something solid standing on your path.

“Fuck” you muttered before slowly realising that you have, in fact, walked into a person.

You felt someone’s hands reach out to steady you by wrapping around your waist. The next thing you registered was the smell. A very familiar one that you have tried to repress from memory for the past few weeks. You felt panic surge through your whole body before you let out a long exhale and lifted your head.

“Didn’t expect our reunion to be that dramatic, but I’m not complaining” Neil grinned at you with that smug look on his face you have grown to hate.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you” you choose to stare at his tie.

A nice burgundy one which he has worn in New York, during the mission. At the memory, your cheeks grew somehow warmer, and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to be swallowed by the earth. But to no avail.

“Are you alright?” his voice broke through the increasing paralysis.

“Yeah” you forced yourself to look up at him again.

The concern in his eyes only made your desire to run stronger. But his grip on your waist was unyielding. You were acutely aware of standing in the middle of the corridor. Anyone could pass by and see you like that. But it looked like Neil did not care.

“I tried calling you last night” his voice was tense.

Shit.

“Sorry I was busy” you were a terrible liar.

And, of course, he saw right through you. You noticed how the look in his eyes went from concern to serious worry, and you desperately wanted to flee the scene. He was studying your face, and you tried to look anywhere but at him. After a beat, he must have found some answers in your conflicted expression because he relaxed the grip on your waist, giving you a way out.

“If I said anything wrong…” you were thrown off by the slightly wounded look in his eyes.

Now that you actually could run away, you did not want to. Not without making sure he understood.

“You haven’t” you took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing heart “It’s… just things that Jasper said and stuff… it made me think” you mentally groaned, annoyed at how you could not form a coherent sentence.

But Neil understood as he nodded and reached for your hand. You let him lead you to a quieter spot in the adjacent corridor. You were still paralyzed with conflicting feelings, but now also curious. The voice in the back of your head kept on reminding you how much you have missed him. You had your back pressed against the wall and stared as he slowly stepped closer, making your personal space non-existent. It was suddenly hard to think about the reasons why you should not let him be this close. The look in his eyes was unreadable to you.

“I don’t know what that idiot told you or what’s going on in your head, but it’s all wrong” you felt his free hand slide up your arm to rest on your neck and gently caress the skin there.

It was embarrassing how you responded to his touch with your body tensing and goosebumps appearing where his fingers made contact with your skin. It was hard to lie, even to yourself.

“Why should I believe you?” your voice sounded breathless already.

You knew you should have never let him get this close before you talked. But still, the way he looked at you was surprising. Any train of thought was interrupted when he brushed the pad of his thumb over your lower lip. His eyes were darker than usual, and the intensity of his gaze alone made the flutters in your stomach appear.

“I’ve got a few reasons”

Gently he tilted your chin and covered your lips with his. You gasped at the contact and felt him smile against your mouth. Then, as though a switch was flipped, Neil started kissing you hungrily, and you responded in kind, letting your teeth graze his lower lip. When his hand wrapped around your neck, you felt lightheaded and breathless. But still, you deepened the kiss, making all the feelings you have tried to stifle lead the moment. It was scaringly easy to do. Only once you felt like you had no breath left, you broke the kiss and stared back at Neil with a dazed expression. That was not what you expected from your reunion.

“Hope that beat whatever Jasper had to offer you” he grinned, and you enjoyed the sight of his subtly swollen lips.

“Please don’t remind me” surprisingly, you could still form a sentence.

But that ability was soon to be gone as you watched mischievous sparks shine in his eyes. His lips curled into a smirk, and you knew you were fucked. In every meaning of the word. Before you could react, he leaned in closer again, kissed the corner of your mouth before leaving a trail of kisses down to your jawline, and then crook of the neck.

“Neil…” you breathed out, trying to somehow stop the situation from getting out of your hands.

“Yes?” he interlocked his fingers with yours, pinning your joined hands to the wall.

Perfect leverage. Thinking was getting increasingly difficult.

“I… I’ve missed you” that was not exactly what you wanted to say.

You heard him chuckle with his lips brushing the skin on your neck.

“Quite right” he kissed the spot beneath your ear “Too”.

You sighed at the sensation, tightening the grip on his hand and letting your other palm splay on his chest. Through the fabric of his shirt, you could feel the fast heartbeat. It was somewhat encouraging to know that it was not just your heart that was beating wildly. He was kissing your neck with something akin to reverence, which made you feel faint. The traces of reason left in your brain started screaming for attention.

“Neil” you huffed, annoyed at how you were unable to voice the mess of thoughts.

Slowly he lifted his head and looked back at you.

“I really like how you say my name” the roguish grin that began it all was back to haunt you “So breathless” his voice was huskier than usual.

He wanted to kill you, evidently.

You met his gaze helplessly, feeling vulnerable with how he could see right through you. He looked almost fascinated by your stunned expression. Then his eyes softened.

“I missed you too” you felt his hand travel down your body to settle on the hip “So much”.

That admission was all it took for you to lose it. Again. You leaned in and initiated another kiss, unable to deny the need you felt. Neil was ready as he easily matched the tempo you have set. This time neither of you wanted to rush it. Instead, you kissed slowly and delicately, enjoying the careless moment. You tangled your hand in his blonde strands, tugging lightly to bring him even closer. He groaned at the sensation, making you feel a new kind of tension. You wanted him to make that sound again. But before you could find ways of achieving that, on the periphery of your attention, you heard the distinctive sound of footsteps approaching fast. Then they stopped abruptly and were replaced with a shocked gasp.

You opened your eyes and found yourself staring straight at Anna. Fuck. She was frozen in the spot three meters away and had a bewildered expression on her face. You knew there was no way in hell she has not realised what was going on. You could only watch as her face scrunched up in a scowl before she turned on her heels and almost ran back down the corridor. That image was enough to help you wake up from the daze. Gently you disentangled from Neil, who looked confused. Despite the reality of the situation downing on you, you grinned seeing his ruffled hair and disoriented gaze.

“Well done, now Anna hates me” you warily eyed the corridor before settling your eyes on him again.

You watched as he slowly absorbed the information, frowned, and then brightened up again when he met your gaze.

“Pretty sure she did already” he eyed you carefully as though assessing the state he brought you to.

Conscious of how you looked, you smoothed your hair and patted your blazed cheeks. There was no pretending that nothing happened, even if you wanted to.

“Why?” you arched your eyebrow at the implication.

“You know why” he just smiled as though it explained everything.

You didn’t know why. At all. You watched as he ruffled his hair even further by combing a hand through it, and your eyes settled on the exposed forearm and rolled up sleeves. For some reason seeing him like that was very thought-provoking. You knew he caught your stare when you heard him chuckle.

“Like what you see?” it was that smug smirk again.

You could not help but roll your eyes at him. This time the voice of reason was not so easily ignored.

“We really should talk before…” you did not even want to finish the sentence.

“Before?” Neil took a step closer again.

“Before we do something much more reckless than… this” you gestured vaguely and took a step back.

“Would that really be so bad?” he bit his lip and eyed you curiously again.

You have had enough. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him back. That clearly surprised him.

“Let’s just talk. Please” you put on your best puppy eyes just for him.

That did the job. Thankfully.

“Couldn’t say no to that” he grinned and took your hand in his “C’mon”

Now you just had to figure out what to tell him. The only issue was that you had no idea about how you felt… Fun.

#tenet #neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet imagine #neil tenet fanfic #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson #the art of inversion

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fancyfade · 3 years

Text

so ive been debating editing chapter 3 on my fanfic to make 1 scene line up more from canon. (chapter 3 is this one, where the characters deal with the aftermath of battle for the cowl, Tim finds out Damian’s Robin, and Dick and Damian move to the penthouse)

I’m debating making the Tim finding out Damian’s Robin scene a little more canon compliant along what happened in Red Robin (link) for a few reasons, the main of which is in the scenes that I’m writing next (like... chapter 47 lol), Tim and Dick do have to talk about what transpired when Dick made Damian Robin. Potential reasons for change

In my fic Tim kind of just left on his own without a push, but I’m not sure if Tim would have left on such bad terms if there wasn’t the complication of Damian antagonizing him and him feeling as if Dick was picking Damian over him (even though in the comic we saw Dick trying to de-escalate and get Tim’s back, it still felt that way to Tim)

I dislike the way some of this was handled in the comic and I can’t really comment on it in my fic if I just retcon it out

it seems fair-er I guess if Tim is allowed to have flaws just like Cass and Damian and Dick all have flaws in this fic. i know many tim stans think otherwise, but punching a ten-year-old victim of child abuse in the face out of anger is wrong.

the con side is obviously this involves Damian getting hit and that kid has been through so much already. I’m really trying to figure out how it works with character dynamics vs like. give the poor kid a break-ness.

anyway if I did decide to replace the current chapter 3, this is what it would be replaced with (only the first scene, the second would be the same). If you are a reader of the fic feel free to leave your comments. I would do an “oh and I edited chapter 3″ note before the relevant stuff was mentioned if I go through with this, I wouldn’t like expect everyone to know what happened. Some of the dialogue is not like exactly like in canon (cuz thats boring and also to match with what I wrote the first time) but the feeling/ beats should be similar

Gotham’s finally had a bit of lull in the violence, and Dick is just wondering how he’s going to do this.

He’s accepted that Damian’s his responsibility – seeing the kid shot in the chest made that perfectly clear, as much as he would’ve liked it to be otherwise. He felt like he was way too young to be watching out for a kid in any capacity other than cool older brother, especially a kid who’s as difficult to get along with as Damian. He was a great fighter, of course, and he knew it – Dick’s not sure he’s ever heard the kid be humble about anything. To make things worse, Dick feels like he’s constantly stuck in the middle between Damian and the kid he actually views as his younger brother – Tim, who Damian tried to kill. Evidence in point:

“Robin?!” Tim asks once he’s gotten back on his feet and Dick's explained his plan – away from Damian, who's still recovering from surgery.

“You made Damian Robin?!” Tim asks again.

Dick sighs. He’s in the cave, in a Batman costume he feels doesn’t fit right at all with the cowl off, and Tim’s still in his regular clothes. He has no idea how to explain this to Tim – no idea how to make him feel like he’s not being replaced. Dick never wanted to be the one doing the replacing – he remembers how much it hurt to find out that Jason was Robin from the papers, and that was after he officially stopped being Robin. Tim never quit – and Dick’s not about to make him – but he has to come home to the guy who tried to kill him getting his name.

“Tim, I know this looks bad, but Damian needs this.”

“Remember when we thought Bruce was going to retire after Crisis?” Tim asks. “Batman and Robin was supposed to be us. You and me. Not you and the psychopath that tried to kill me.”

“Tim, you’re not my sidekick, you’re my partner – ” Dick takes a step towards Tim with his hand out, prepared to offer sympathy, but Tim shakes him off angrily.

“Obviously not!”

“And Damian needs me way more than you do. If we don’t keep an eye on him, he’s going to kill again.”

Tim scowls intensely. “That should really not be an endorsement for being Robin, Dick! He’s a killer! He belongs in jail!” Tim swallows a little and then lowers his voice out of shouting range. “Dick, he didn’t try to kill me because he for some reason thought it was the only way to stop me from doing something bad, as far as I can tell he just wanted to replace me. We’re talking about someone with absolutely no sense of right or wrong.”

“Of course he doesn’t have a sense of right or wrong. He’s a ten-year-old child who was raised as an assassin from birth!”

“Lots of our villains have really sad or sympathetic reasons for doing crime, that doesn’t mean we team up with them.”

“Are you serious?” Dick asks. “This isn’t the same, Tim.”

“How not?”

“Well for one,” calls Damian's voice from the stairs, and Dick can't help but cringe and think not now – “I'm a lot better than them.”

Dick's cringe only intensifies when he turns around to see what Damian is wearing. His new Robin costume.

Tim's hands clench into fists the instant he sees Damian. Dick knows he has to de-escalate things quick before Tim and Damian have another fight.

“Damian,” Dick says, trying to keep himself carefully neutral-sounding. “Shouldn't you be resting?”

Damian lifts his head up slightly so his nose is in the air, and walks down the stairs almost normally. There's only a little hesitation in the twist of his torso, a little stiffness of his right arm.

Either he's zoned out of his mind on painkillers or depressingly good at masking his pain for a ten-year-old.

“Please,” Damian says. “I was trained in the League of Shadows. Do you really think an over-the-hill ex-Robin could put me down?”

Tim's fist clenches further, and so Dick says, letting a bit more urgency slip into his voice, “Damian, shut up. Now.”

Damian puts his left hand on his hips and looks intentionally at Tim. He adds, “I'm not Drake – ”

He's barely got the word out before Tim leaps forward and punches him in the face. Dick's out of his seat, grabbing Tim to hold him back, who is still distressingly struggling against him, like he wants to keep up the assault despite the fact that Damian fell to the floor.

“My name is Tim Wayne!” Tim shouts as Dick is still holding him back.

Damian gingerly sits up. Dick prepares to release Tim, prepares to stop Damian if he has to, if he decides to get revenge. But he doesn't. He just briefly braces his right side with his left hand before wiping the blood off his face.

“I let you get that shot in, Drake,” Damian says, again dropping intentional emphasis on Tim's original last name.

As he does, Tim struggles forward.

“Tim, back off!” Dick says, because Tim still isn't cooling down –

“I want you to feel good about yourself,” Damian continues.

Tim seems to relax his stance slightly, so Dick, possibly in an error of judgment, lets Tim go. But Tim doesn't try to attack Damian again, he just shakes Dick off and starts stomping away. “You want me to back off? Fine.”

He's going for the exit.

If he leaves –

Dick can't chase him. He's not sure that he can leave Damian alone –

“Tim, wait!” Dick says, taking a step forward. “Bruce is gone. But I still need you.”

“For what?” asks Damian and damn it is there anything this kid isn't going to try to ruin?

“Shut up, Damian,” Dick says again, even though as far as he knows he's just going to wind up pushing Damian away too –

And Tim leaves.

Dick turns to look at Damian. The kid's already back to his feet, like nothing happened, and Dick takes a step forward to inspect the injury – though he's really more worried about the gunshot wound than Tim's punch. Both Tim and Damian had wound up injured pretty badly during the chaos that gripped Gotham in the rumors of Batman’s death. As his new and not-improved version of Batman, Jason had tried to kill them both, which Dick is way less than pleased about. He’d been kind of hoping that they could talk Jason down, but this seems like a line he doesn’t know if Jason can ever un-cross. He shot a ten year old in the chest.

Damian grabs Dick's wrist as he reaches out.

“Are you all right?” Dick asks.

Damian scoffs. “You're worried about Drake? I've been hit harder sparring my mother.”

“I was thinking about the gunshot.” Alfred had said the primary damage was blood loss and a punctured lung (well, traumatic pneumothorax, but Dick knew what he meant) and given the kid a minimum of four weeks downtime to heal.

It's hard to tell due to the domino mask, but Damian adopts the position of a kid who's rolling their eyes, head slightly tilted to the side with a loll. “It's not enough to impersonate Batman, now you want to impersonate my mother?”

Dick doesn't know how to approach the mother thing, so he doesn't even try. He just explains the logic for being Batman – (and there is logic behind it. It's not like he wanted this). “Someone has to step up and convince Gotham things can get back to normal,” Dick says. “And serial killer Batman wasn't going to cut it.”

“Did you at least take care of him?” Damian asks.

Dick knows that Damian isn't actually worried about Jason's wellbeing, so he says, “Do you mean 'did I kill him'?”

“Tt. Obviously.”

“Obviously not.”

Damian presses his lips together in a thin line.

Dick might as well get this out of the way now. He's going to have to sometime. “Alfred wants you out of the field for four weeks.”

“That's preposterous!” Damian shouts, and as he shouts, he coughs. He rubs his chest quickly and then glowers at Dick when he sees him staring.

“Damian, you could have died.”

“I didn’t.”

Jeez, doesn’t this kid have any sense of his own mortality? Though, Dick supposes, growing up around Lazarus Pits and a centuries old grandfather might make that impossible.

“I’m not a fool, Grayson, I know I’m not capable of healing instantaneously. I’ll take a break for one week,” he offers, like it’s a huge concession on his part.

“Four weeks,” Dick says.

“What about you?” Damian asks. “Didn’t you get injured?”

“Not as badly.”

“Are you taking a break?”

“Someone needs to convince Gotham that Batman’s not dead,” Dick says. Also, he doesn’t want to take a break. He doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. Losing Bruce. Failing Tim.

“Tt. Then I don’t need one either. I’m younger. I heal faster.”

Dick actually has no clue whether that’s true, because he’s not a doctor, but he knows that people usually say kids heal faster.

Dick swings his arms a little, trying to feel them out. They’re still stiff, and as they move, a jolt of pain shoots through him. Even when he’s not moving, his shoulder is still sore. He knows that he might get injured going into the field like this and that it’s not a smart decision – last time he went into the field while still healing, he wound up blowing his secret identity to Blockbuster.

He decides that at least if he’s going into the field, he won’t tell Barbara and Alfred about it. Okay, so that’s probably not the smartest of his plans. Most plans that you have to hide from people who care about you aren't smart.

“I’ll take a week long break with you,” Dick concedes. “And we can see how fast you’re healing.” The second part is a lie, of course. He's not going to supersede Alfred's orders on medical matters.

Dick sighs a little. He figures that while they’re both on bed-rest duty, though, he can try to figure out how to set things up so they can operate effectively once they get a clean bill of health.

“How do you feel about not living in the manor?” Dick asks.

“Kicking me out already?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I wouldn’t be living here either,” Dick says. It’s true. He’d rather not feel like he’s living in all of Bruce’s old places, wearing Bruce’s old costume, … replacing him, essentially. He needs a place he can clear his head.

“Where would you live then?” Damian asks skeptically.

Dick shrugs. “The penthouse, maybe. Bruce already made a bunker nearby, so we could operate out of there pretty easily.”

Damian narrows his eyes. “Why do you keep saying ‘we’?”

Because you are ten and not ready to live on your own. But Dick just says, “Well, you’re Robin now, right? That means you’re pretty much obligated to team up with Batman.”

“Batman isn’t here, Grayson. He never will be again, no matter how much you play dress-up.”

Charming kid. Like Dick didn’t already know that.

“You know I operate effectively alone, right?” Damian continues. “I don’t need to be hand-held and babysat like all of Father’s previous partners.”

Dick figures that it’d be a jerk move to remind Damian he just almost died and therefore really shouldn’t be on his own. Instead, he says, “Well, Alfred’s staying with me, so unless you want to get all your food and clean the house by yourself, you have to put up with me.”

“Tt . I don’t need a servant. I’ll just eat at restaurants.”

“On who’s money?”

“In the event of his death, my father’s assets should have transferred to me. His blood son.”

Oh boy. Dick rubs his face. “Does this have to be a thing, Damian? No one’s doubting your capacity to take care of yourself but I think it’d really be easier if we were operating out of the same building. “

A long silence on Damian’s part. “Fine,” he says eventually. “I’ll allow you to stay at my penthouse.”

My penthouse. Of course. But Dick takes it. “All right,” he says. “Let’s move in.”

#idk even #to my followers #my fanfic #dc comics #dc fanfic #tim drake #damian wayne #dick grayson

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missmitchieg · 3 years

Text

"You're all gonna be ok."

An hour of waiting later, Bobby was pacing back and forth in The Orpheum, wondering where the rest of his band was. They should've been back at least fifteen minutes ago. It doesn't take this long to get some hotdogs, eat quickly and come back.

Rose watched him pace nervously with a frown, her own anxiety growing in her stomach. "They might be fine, Bobby. They probably just got stuck in traffic." She told him, not so sure if she was trying to convince him or herself of that hypothetical.

"And what if they didn't, Rose?" Bobby countered and gave her a look, thinking of every possible reason for the guys to not be there. "What if they're in trouble?" He looked at the ceiling, pushing his hair back for the millionth time.

"And what if they are?" Rose countered back, and Bobby stopped to look at her again.

He turned his body toward her and crossed his arms, shaking his head. "They would've called." He said, looking up when he heard a voice say his name.

"Call for a Bobby Wilson?"

Bobby bit his lip nervously, taking Rose's hand in his. He walked toward the guy with the phone, taking it from him. "Hello? Bobby Wilson speaking."

Rose gave him an encouraging smile when Bobby took her hand and stayed close to him, hoping her presence was comforting and not overbearing or upsetting.

"Hello, Bobby. I'm calling from Dignity Health Hospital. I believe your friends are here. They refused to give their parents' phone numbers and insisted we call you at The Orpheum."

Bobby gasped softly and squeezed Rose's hand, his breathing and heart rate picking up as the polite voice of the woman over the phone listed off the names of his band mates, his best friends, his family, one by one.

"Alex Mercer. Luke Patterson. Reggie Peters."

The next few moments happen in a blur for Bobby. Squeezing Rose's hand once more. Taking a deep shaky breath and clearing his throat. Thanking the woman and hanging up. Telling Rose where the boys were. Rose pulling him outside and yelling for a taxi. The four minute car ride to the hospital. The walk inside. Every noise sounded like he was under water.

Rose gave Bobby a worried look and rubbed circles in his hand with her thumb as they walked inside together and asked the receptionist about the guys. Tears streaming down her face, she walked to the room the boys would be in, Bobby right behind her.

Being in the room, seeing the guys, was what broke Bobby out of his daze. He blinked and shook his head, moving to stand in between Reggie's, who was groaning into his bedpan, and Alex's, who a nurse explained had to be sedated because he was panicking so badly, beds while Rose went straight to Luke's bed. He wasn't going to lie. All three of them looked like Hell. "You're ok, Reggie. You're all gonna be ok." Bobby promised. He hoped he could keep that promise.

"What happened, boys?" Rose asked, gently smoothing the hair off Luke's sweaty forehead. She frowned as Luke let out a shuddering breath and gagged, being sick into his bedpan.

"Food poisoning." The doctor said from the other side of Reggie's bed. "Lucky they got in when they did, or-" He scowled, giving them a 'well, you know' sort of look. "They'll have to stay for a week to get fluids and regular checks on their hearts and kidneys."

"Wh- A week?!" Luke shook his head weakly, trying to get out of his bed. He couldn't be stuck in there for a week. He had things to do! "No, no, no. We have to go perform!" He told them, trying to kick his left leg over the side of the bed.

"Luke." Rose said with a frown. "Luke, no." She said, gently pushing him back into a laying position in his bed.

"Perfo- None of you are in any condition to perform!" Bobby huffed, shaking his head incredulously. How could Luke still be thinking about performing when a doctor had just informed him that he almost died?! "You are in a hospital bed and hooked up to IVs, Luke!" He pointed out, gesturing to the machine monitoring his vitals.

"But-" But they were gonna be Legends! They had to play The Orpheum!

"Luke! No!" Bobby yelled. "You guys almost died! You should be sleeping and recuperating right now!"

"Bobby." Rose started, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should sit down."

Bobby frowned, crossing his arms. "I'm fine, Rose."

"You're not." Rose and Reggie said together.

"Reggie-"

"Bobin, you should go home. Rest." Reggie said softly, pleading with his eyes for Bobby to not worry, to sit down.

"No. No way. I'm not leaving you." Bobby insisted, taking Reggie's hand that didn't have a giant IV needle shoved into it in his own. "I'm not letting you guys leave my sight. Not again." He promised.

Reggie frowned at that, knowing Bobby well enough to know that he was being stubborn because he blamed himself. He blamed himself because he told them to go get hot dogs. He told them to go get hot dogs and they landed them in the hospital. Reggie shook his head, opening his mouth to say something before he felt like he was going to puke again, grabbing his bedpan.

Bobby frowned guiltily at that, rubbing comforting circles into Reggie's back. "You'll get better, Gigi. The week'll go by in no time, and then we can get all of you back home."

Reggie was sick into his bed pan and wiped away the crud with a hand towel the nurse gave him, smiling weakly at Bobby. "You're a sweetheart, Bobins."

Bobby smiled at that, gently stroking a hand through Reggie's hair. "You know I just care about you."

Rose watched the exchange with a small smile, sharing a look with Luke to ask 'so are they really always like this?'.

Luke chuckled softly and nodded, whispering to her that they were so embarrassingly in love and too scared to do anything about it.

Rose bit her lip to hide a smirk and leaned in close to whisper a secret in Luke's ear, making him snort and slap a hand over his mouth. He looked at her and gave a 'really?' look.

Rose giggled and nodded, putting a finger to her lips to keep quiet about it.

"What are you two giggling about?" Bobby asked them with a smile.

"Noooothing."

Bobby scoffed and shook his head with a disbelieving smirk while Rose just smiled innocently back at him.

Their time in the hospital went similarly for the next week. Rose and Bobby would come plowing in the second visitor's hours started, Luke would complain about still being stuck in the hospital, Bobby would go straight to Reggie's side, and Rose straight to Luke's side. Bobby and Reggie would flirt like crazy and Rose and Luke would chuckle and shake their heads at them, Alex joining in pretty instantly.

Bobby and Rose had grown pretty close to the boys' nurses in that time, and even convinced them to play their demo CD on occasion. Reggie always piped in with a quick 'Tell your friends!', charming every nurse that looked his way.

The day finally came to leave, and the nurses all acted absolutely devastated for them to go, even if it just meant a full recovery. The nurses loved the kids, and the kids loved the nurses.

"Bye, Ester. Enjoy the rest of your life!" Rose grinned at the last nurse as they walked out as a group, Bobby and Reggie holding hands and Rose holding Luke and Alex' hands. "So, who's house are we going to first?" She asked, excited to maybe meet a few of their parents.

"Oh, I'm taking you to your place and we're all going back to my garage." Bobby answered casually.

"Your garage?"

"We all kinda live there." Luke shrugged and just kept walking. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big- You live in a garage!" Rose exclaimed, shaking her head. This simply wouldn't do. "Excuse me, I have to make a call." She said and walked away toward the nearest payphone. She put in a quarter and dialed her home phone, grinning when her sister answered. "Hey, Victoria! I need a little baby sized favor. Can you ask mama to set a few extra places at the table tonight, please?"

"How many?"

"Uh... Four."

"...Explain."

Rose winced and sighed, pushing her hair back. "I met these boys living in their friends' garage-"

"Wait, are these the people you've been meeting with all week?" Victoria questioned.

"Yeah, at the hospital."

"Woah, what?"

"Can you just ask mama?"

"Fine, but you better let me borrow that dress in the back of your closet."

"S-sure." Rose rolled her eyes. "Thanks, bye." She said and hung up, walking back to the boys. "We're all going to my place for dinner."

"Rosie, you d-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Bobbers." Rose smiled at the nickname. Bobby had quite a few. She learned that quickly. There was just one little nickname only Reggie was allowed to use, though. Bobins. Rose thought it was absolutely precious when she found out and respected that only Reggie could called him that.

"Rose."

"You boys deserve better than a garage and some take out, or some poisonous hot dogs." She smirked. "You're getting a real meal tonight."

The boys looked at her for a minute and smiled gratefully, appreciating how much Rose had grown to care for them in the week they had known each other. Bobby hailed a taxi and they piled in one by one, Rose giving directions to her house.

Bobby smiled as he handed the driver some money and everyone piled out of the car, following Rose to her house.

"Now, no need to be nervous about meeting my mom. Mi mama loves everybody. It's my sister you need to worry about." She explained and rang the doorbell.

"Noted." Bobby smiled, squeezing Reggie's hand. He smiled politely as Rose's sister opened the door and stepped outside, shutting the door behind her.

"Rosita, are these the boys you told me about over the phone?" Victoria asked sternly with her hands on her hips.

"Yes, Tori. This is Luke." Rose gestured toward Luke.

"Hey." Luke gave her a grin.

"Alex."

"Hi, there." Alex smiled and threw up a peace sign.

"Reggie."

"Hi!" Reggie gave a bright grin and waved with his free hand.

"And Bobby."

"Hi." Bobby smiled.

"Hi." Victoria said slowly after a minute. "You said something about a garage, Rose?"

Luke winced, nodding. "We kinda were living in Bobby's garage before the week in the hospital. He had the best place."

"Only because you ran away and refused to go back." Bobby pointed out.

"And the hospital trip?"

"We ate some bad hot dogs."

Victoria blinked at that and sighed, pinching her nose. She was so done with her sister right now. "You know what. Just come in." She said and pulled the door open, letting everyone in. "Mama! Rose and her friends are here!"

"Hi, mama!" Rose grinned happily and led the boys to the dining room.

"Rosita, there you are!" The boys heard Rose's mom, Carla call from the kitchen and watched her put bowls and plates of food on the table, kissing Rose's head. "So these are your friends?"

"Rose spent her entire week next to their hospital beds." Victoria said dryly as she sat down.

"What? Oh, what happened, bebes?"

"They, uh, ate bad hot dogs the night I met them and I decided I wanted to be around while they got better."

"Don't your parents feed you?" Carla asked, her jaw dropping when the boys frowned and stayed silent. "Ohh... You boys can come over for some food or just hang out any time." She offered.

Luke smiled at that and nodded, biting into his food. "Gracias."

"We really appreciate that." Bobby said gratefully, sipping his water.

"No, I don't wanna impose." Alex shook his head.

"Oh, nonsense!" Carla shook her head with a wave of her hand. "I would love some more company in this big house."

"And we would love to hang out here." Reggie nodded. "Maybe we could rehearse here."

"But how would we get our instruments in here?" Alex questioned. "Plus, I don't think they would appreciate the noise."

"Instruments? You boys are in a band?" Victoria asked.

"Oh, yeah. We're Sunset Curve!" Luke grinned.

"Tell your friends!"

"Oh, I have a copy of their demo in my backpack! I'll play it after dinner! Oh, you're gonna love them! They're amazing!"

"You're amazing, Rosie. And so are you." Reggie grinned at Carla, happily eating another tamale.

"I just love you guys and I know you'll make it." Rose told them, her eyes flickering toward Reggie and Bobby holding hands under the table. She snickered and covered her mouth, giving them a grin as the boys blushed and smiled at each other.

Carla watched them and grinned, her eyes sparkling. "And how long have you two been together?"

"Um, officially, two days." Bobby answered. "But I think we've kinda always been together? So, about four years."

"I can confirm they have acted like a married couple ever since they met." Alex nodded.

"As if you and Lucas don't act the same." Rose sassed gently.

Victoria snorted, licking her lips.

Reggie laughed, nodding quickly. "You kinda do, even though you're broken up."

"And we broke up-" "-for a reason." Luke and Alex said together and Reggie laughed again, this time hiding his face in Bobby's shoulder.

Bobby smiled fondly and kissed his head, thinking back to two days ago when Rose had finally broken him down and forced him to tell Reggie about his feelings.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Bobby smiled as he watched Reggie talk animatedly about something to Alex, mouth going a mile a minute. He laughed when Reggie chuckled, biting his lip fondly. God, Reggie was adorable when he got excited. He tilted his head as he kept watching Reggie, his skin almost sparkling in the sunshine. He loved to sit back and watch Reggie just be, especially now when they were sat outside, the boys set free from their hospital room for just half an hour.

He sighed happily and rested his chin on his hand, feeling two pairs of eyes on him. Slowly, he blinked and turned to give the eyes a tense grin and a slight shake of his head. He was met with twin glares at that, and sighed when they both gestured toward Reggie. He pushed his hair back and watched him for another minute before giving in and walking toward the sweet boy. "Hey, Reg?"

Reggie looked up from where he was sitting in the middle of telling a story and smiled, fixing his jacket. "Yeah, Bobins?"

Bobby grinned at the nickname and knelt next to him, glancing at a smiling Alex. "Lex, you think I can get a minute alone with him?" He asked, giving him a pointed look and nudged his head toward Reggie.

Alex tilted his head, his eyes almost popping out of his head and a grin overtaking his face as he realized why Bobby was asking for this. "OH, yeah! Sure! I'll go bother Rosie and Luke about my thing. You two have your little talk." He grinned, giving Bobby a subtle wink as he walked toward Rose and Luke. "Hey, Patterson!"

Bobby rolled his eyes and sighed, sinking to sit on his knees next to Reggie. He looked up to see Reggie smiling at him and crossing his legs. He gulped and looked around, fiddling with his bracelets as he looked for a way to start talking.

"What's going on?" Reggie asked, breaking Bobby out of his thoughts.

"O-oh. I just, um, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to, um-" Bobby stopped and groaned, shifting to sit on his butt and burying his face in his knees. He was definitely overthinking how to do this.

"Bobs?" Reggie asked softly, placing a gentle hand on Bobby's shoulder.

Bobby looked up and felt the corner of his mouth tug into a smile at the sweet, reassuring grin Reggie was giving him, placing his own hand over Reggie's. He took a deep breath and looked up at him, squeezing his hand. "I was just thinking, when they let you guys out of here, maybe you and I could go see a movie or something? Just you and me?" He bit his lip.

"One-on-one time with you? I'm in!" Reggie nodded instantly. "You know I'm always up for hanging out with my best friend, Bobby." He grinned.

Bobby raised his eyebrows fondly and chuckled, shifting closer to him. "I know. Because you're just like that, Gigi." He smiled. "But what I meant was, like, on a date." He told him and worried his lip again, watching his reaction.

Reggie blinked and blushed as red as his flannel, running a hand through his hair. "O-oh! Um-" He chuckled, wringing his hands. "Are you sure, Bobins? You sure you want me? I'm kind of a lot, you know."

Bobby furrowed his eyebrows at the question and nodded, reaching out to take back the hand that left his empty. "Um, yeah. I know. I've known you for years, and I'm sure I want you." He said, letting his hand fall palm up on the ground so Reggie could take it on his own if he wanted to.

"I just think, you know, you have a lot of options at school. Fans of the band." Reggie told him, pausing every few words to think.

"Uh huh...?" Bobby answered slowly, frowning at him. He wasn't liking where Reggie was going.

"And you know, a lot of people like you. Not just me."

Bobby perked up at that and smiled, tilting his head.

"There's Chuckie in out Math class, and Grace and Anna from History. And there's Judy in Sci-"

"Reggie." Bobby cut him off from listing every kid in their classes, reaching his other hand up to cup Reggie's cheek. "Sweetheart, I don't want those other people. I want you. I like you. You like me. What's stopping us?"

Reggie frowned, leaning into the hand on his cheek. He stayed silent, but Bobby could tell there were things he wanted to say.

"Gigi." He coaxed gently, nudging him with the hand on the ground.

Reggie sighed, reaching down to take his hand. "I want to, Bobby. I really, really want to."

"But?"

"But you don't deserve my mess. You're too good. You shouldn't have to deal with me. I'm too much work. I'm too messed up."

Bobby frowned, shaking his head. "Reggie. Gigi. Sweetheart." He started. "Look at me."

Reggie sighed again and looked at Bobby, licking his lips.

"What if I told you, I'm ok with that? What if I told you I want to 'deal with' all of you and your 'mess'?" Bobby lifted a hand to cut Reggie off before he could start talking. "What if I told you, you're worth it all to me? What if I told you I think you're worth the work it takes to love you?"

"Oh..." Reggie let out a breath, his eyes flickering from Bobby's warm brown eyes to his lips and back. "Well, then. That-" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "That changes things a little bit."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Reggie?"

"Yeah, Bobins?"

Bobby smiled and leaned in slowly, giving Reggie time to pull away if he didn't want to. He pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, left hand reaching into Reggie's hair and right hand still lovingly cradling Reggie's cheek. He pulled away after a while and bit his lip, hunching his shoulders slightly. "Was that ok? I mean, I don't want you to be-"

"Bobbers."

"-Incomfortable. You can still say no. I just want you to kn-"

"Bobble."

"-That I really, really like you and I want to be with you, and-"

"Bobby!"

Bobby blinked at Reggie shouting his name and shut up, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Y-yeah, Gigi?"

"Bobby, just kiss me again." Reggie smiled, wrapping his arms around Bobby's neck.

Bobby smiled sweetly at the boy and kissed him again, pulling away when he heard a few very familiar voices whoop and ooh at them. He looked back to see Luke, Rose, Alex and even a couple of the nurses that worked at the hospital, watching them with big matching grins on their faces. He laughed at that and shook his head, turning back toward Reggie. "So does this mean we're boyfriends now?" He asked quietly, grinning when Reggie nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're boyfriends." Reggie told him, kissing him again.

Bobby was shaken from the memory when Reggie, precious, kind, adorable, sweet boy that he is, patted his shoulder.

"Sorry, what?" Bobby asked, shaking his head slightly.

"You alright?" Reggie smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"Seemed pretty deep in thought." Victoria noted.

Reggie nodded in agreement, squeezing his hand.

"Just thinking back to two days ago." Bobby smiled, rubbing circles in Reggie's hand. "But I'm back." He assured them, and everyone finished their food.

They cleaned up together and Bobby smiled as he watched Luke and Alex double team the dirty dishes while Rose and Tori washed and put away the silverware, and just listened to Reggie telling him about a dream he had last night. He sighed happily, hugging him from behind and leaning his head against Reggie's. He was pretty sure life couldn't get much better than this. This was pretty close to perfect, if you asked him.

#julie and the phantoms #bobby wilson #reggie peters #rose molina #alex mercer #luke patterson #boggie #boggie fic #jatp fanfic

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andorwhore · 3 years

Text

Saudade - IV of VII

Chapter IV of VII: Care

summary: A year in the life of a rebel with a cause and a rebel in search of one… chapter four: Lose has a tendency to bring people close, and that can be daunting.

author’s note: Who hasn’t updated since October? I guess it’s me, the resident asshole author. I took a very long and unexpected break from writing due to school and work, and I still haven’t written any new content unfortunately. But I thought it would be a shame to let this complete chapter sit around unpublished. So, I’m hoping that this will motivate me to finish up this story (and potentially add that new chapter I’ve been considering). And if I never get around to wrapping this fic up, at the very least this is the perfect chapter to leave it on.

pairing: Cassian Andor x OC word count: 11,465 (longest one yet babey) rating: T, eventual R warnings: is ~*~intimacy~*~ something that requires a warning lol

chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter four

[ff.net] [ao3]

taglist: @justanotherblonde23

The Festival of Stars was a celebration Jai was quite familiar with, or at least as familiar as the average person could be. She didn't know the exact origin of the festival week, though she knew it had something to do with interstellar space travel; what she did know with certainty is that every year, the Ring of Kafrene became overloaded with travelers during the holiday, en route to destinations all across the galaxy. On Kafrene, the people took to celebrating it as well, though as Jai got older she realized it was a means of ripping off all the gullible tourists that made pit stops on the colony. Residents of Kafrene were smart to jump on the opportunity, Jai's friends and family included, and ironically enough, because of the locals' investment in playing travelers for fools, the festival in its own way became a part of what little culture Kafrene had.

Jai hadn't expected to hear anything about the festival on Yavin 4. Hell, she all but forgot about the holiday week, the last six months of her life having been all consumed by Alliance business. She first heard someone mention the Festival of Stars just as they were heading back to the base after a mission to a planet called Naator (this being yet another world Jai had no prior knowledge of). She was brought along on the mission as tech support, though Jai was fairly certain she wouldn't be needed.

She had ended up spending a whole day on Naator just sitting in the ship and waiting for her team to return. The most thrilling thing that happened to Jai was when some local animal spooked her as she did an engine check in the morning, and she nearly fried the creature with her blaster. Her team returned successful, and they were off of the planet just as quickly as they had arrived.

As they started on their few hours journey to return back to Yavin 4, one of the team members reminded everyone that the holiday was going on that week, and that they should make a pit stop to pick up a few things to celebrate. Jai listened with intrigue as the group excitedly discussed the festivity, curious to hear about it from the perspective of those that didn't grow up trying to find ways to profit off of the holiday.

Apparently, quite a number of the rebels celebrated it every year, along with the other two Fete Weeks. Jai, of course, didn't know about these other weeks - they had their own dumb holidays back on the Ring of Kafrene, and the Festival of Stars was the only one she knew of that was celebrated in all corners of the galaxy. Rebels, no matter what planet they came from, all seemed to love the holiday, saw it as an opportunity to relax and forget their responsibilities for a while.

Although the festival was traditionally celebrated over the course of five days, the Rebellion only had two evenings unofficially dedicated to it - after all, it wouldn't be very practical if they spent an entire week partying. The "unofficial" part, someone explained to Jai, was because the council of superiors didn't recognize it as any kind of reprieve from work - they were happy to allow their rebels to celebrate, and even happy to take part in the festivities if time allowed, but the Festival of Stars wasn't something marked on everyone's calendars as time off. In the Rebellion, there was no such thing as time off. If someone was lucky enough to have one of the two evenings free, then they were welcome to join in the party.

Jai's team were all planning to attend once they got back to Yavin 4, encouraging the slicer to join them - and Jai was never one to turn down a party.

The Naator mission team ended up going a little crazy during their pit stop on one of the planets in the nearest trading belt - apparently, Jai observed, the Festival of Stars was more like the Festival of Drinking among the rebels. They grabbed everything from spicebrew to malts to drinks that Jai had never even heard of; and, of course, she made sure they grabbed as much Merenzane Gold as they could manage. Jai could only wonder just how much alcohol there would be at base once the other rebels returned from their missions as well, all surely having the same idea as her team.

By the time they returned to Yavin 4, evening was slowly closing in, and the hangar seemed far more crowded than usual - it would seem the partying was far too big for the confines of the mess hall, as the rebels took to setting up out here instead. The Naator team was already buzzing with impatience as the gunship settled on the tarmac, everyone waiting to jump out and join the party that had just begun over on the west side of the hangar. Everyone grabbed up the boxes of alcohol scattered across the ship - Jai made sure she grabbed at least one of the crates of Merenzane.

As she stepped off of the ship, Jai felt a warmth swelling in her chest, hearing her teammates chattering excitedly and the carefree voices of their fellow rebels drifting towards them from the west side. Back home, Jai and her brothers loved the Festival of Stars, and they almost always managed to convince Tillian and Vinis to let them run off amongst the crowds each evening rather than have them work at Vinis' shop in the market (or have them take advantage of the tourists' guards being down). When the three of them were out together, watching the performances other locals put on, hearing the excited chatter of people on the streets, climbing up on rooftops to watch the crowd with interest and awe, they were unstoppable. They always ended those evenings on the roof of their home, staying up into the wee hours of the mornings to watch all of the excitement - up there, they felt as if they were on top of the entire world.

Those were simpler times, before Tillian passed, before Jai's brother ran off with some unscrupulous stranger, when they were still young and hopeful and without a care in the world. Jai missed those days and missed what her family used to be. The holiday didn't feel the same after they lost Tillian, and by the time her brother left, the festival was practically nonexistent to her - they could never go back to the dream of their childhood, and Jai had come to accept that. But as she walked through the hangar with her excited teammates, each with a bit of a skip in their steps, Jai felt as if this could start a new festival tradition for her, one that, though not the same as that of her past, would be just as good. This was the next chapter of her life, and with the next chapter came new things to love and be excited about.

Another half a dozen or so ships had pulled into the hangar after the Naator team, all landing on the opposite end of the hangar from where the enlivened rebels were setting up drinks and tables. Jai was about halfway to her destination when she looked back towards the new ships, but they were too far off for her to immediately identify any of them. Beside her, the team leader, Kinall, asked Jai if she felt steady enough to take another box of alcohol on top of the one she already had - Kinall had to head up to Command to report to her superior about the mission. Jai gave a histrionic sigh, but agreed to take the second crate, readjusting her grip on the box of Merenzane Gold before Kinall set the second box atop it. The captain spun around to head towards the turbolift, Jai watching her walk off while she ensured her grip was steady before continuing towards the party.

"I think you have a drinking problem." a voice teased noncommittally from somewhere behind Jai, causing a smile to pull across her face as she rolled her eyes. Turning around carefully so as not to drop anything, she spotted Cassian and K-2SO approaching her, looking as if they, too, had just returned from a mission. Cassian had a teasing smirk on his lips, and yet the expression didn't even remotely reach his eyes; and, though Kay was expressionless, he still somehow seemed eternally judgmental.

"My only drinking problem is that I haven't had enough yet to deal with you." Jai retorted, looking past Cassian at all the other rebels that had come back from their various missions, wondering briefly if Cassian had gone with a team or if his job had been solo.

Nearly everyone returned with something in hand, most of which Jai was sure had to be booze, though unsurprisingly, Cassian was empty handed.

For another moment, Jai watched the other rebels as most of them walked in her direction, though she noted the few that quickly made their way for the turbolift instead, heads down and expressions distraught. Must have been a sour mission that dampened their mood.

Jai looked between Cassian and the two crates she carried as they began to feel even heavier, "Help a girl out, would you?"

Cassian glanced with disinterest at the boxes in her arms, though Jai could now recognize the waggish glint on his face that, once again, didn't quite seem to reach his eyes, "You look like you've got a handle on it."

She gave him a small glare before turning her eyes up towards K-2SO, but before Jai could say anything, the droid spoke, "Don't assume I'll help you with it."

Jai scoffed, "Such gentlemen…"

She and Cassian met eyes again as he gave a tired, agreeing grin, stepping up to take the top box from her, Jai's arms immediately feeling relieved at the lightened load. As she turned back around for them to head toward the tables, she eyed Cassian curiously, noticing that his posture seemed exhausted and his face worn.

"What, didn't bring anything for the party?" The man looked back at her, his expression a little less amused than before. His lips seemed to press tightly together for a slight second. There was something on his mind, that much Jai could discern, but she was certain that Cassian would avoid mentioning it.

"I have no interest in parties."

Jai shouldn't have been at all surprised by the answer. Of course Cassian wasn't the party going type - he preferred his brooding to having a good time. Ever since their night of drinking two months back, Jai hadn't been able to get him to do so since. Sure, Cassian had a drink here or there that she knew of, but the two haven't since sat down and dedicated a couple of hours to simply drinking and chatting as freely and carelessly as they had back then. That evening caused a shift in their relationship, even if by this point they couldn't exactly remember all of that night.

They were friends now, even if Cassian refused to ever say so out loud. That didn't mean they saw each other everyday nor did they have the chances to make great efforts to spend time together, however, they could both feel it in the way they talked, the way they seemed to feel more at ease with one another, the way they simply seemed to fit together.

Jai had somehow convinced Cassian to spend meals with her and her other friends in the mess hall on a few rare occasions, and when she wasn't busy with something Jai wandered her way to Cassian's ship or up to the control room to take some time to chat with him if she knew he was around base. Neither had been back to the other's dorm, however - that evening months ago was a strange exception, and without saying so they both had a feeling that the next time that happened, it'd be very different from that time before.

Jai liked Cassian - most of the time, she was pretty sure she knew it was just as a friend, but every now and again she caught herself looking at him a certain way, looking at him with a warmth in her chest that she didn't feel often enough to be able to surely identify it. It didn't linger all too often, but when it did it wasn't easy to ignore; Jai could tell herself it was the kind of warmth one felt for a friend, but then she'd catch herself admiring him too closely or getting lost somewhere in her head if someone mentioned his name, and she knew there was no way this warmth was simply one of friendship.

It wasn't a crush - that word certainly felt too juvenile to describe whatever this was. Jai simply saw it as the part of her that got caught up in the "what ifs" - what if we met in a different way in a different place, what if we weren't in this rebellion, what if he wasn't so guarded and distant? The "what ifs" were casual and non committal - they weren't real wants or desires, Jai told herself. They were simple considerations that passed through her mind as if they were foolish impulses, like those pesky voices that asked "what if you just shocked yourself with one of your tools to see what would happen" or "what if you went and jumped out of a ship without taking any precautions?"

And this was a ship that Jai had no intention of jumping out of - it was better if it all just stayed up in her head. She didn't dare let herself wonder if Cassian ever had those random intrusive thoughts - he struck her as the kind of guy who simply didn't have the time for intrusive thoughts. Even when he wasn't busy, his mind was at work, and there was no room for useless thinking as far as she could tell.

So, the fact that Cassian didn't do parties was something Jai could have guessed about him - just like useless thoughts, Cassian didn't seem to have time for useless events either. Though, it was still disappointing to hear from him, because Jai saw Cassian as someone that was in desperate need of some lighthearted fun every now and again.

Jai hummed as they set the crates atop a table full of alcohol of all varieties, other rebels already swarming to grab some for themselves, "That's a shame, I really could use someone to help me drink all this Merenzane."

As she grinned at Cassian, Jai snagged a bottle of her favorite drink before they could all disappear. Cassian glanced at the bottle before his eyes flicked back up to meet Jai's for a moment with a raised brow; he looked behind himself at Kay as if he could get Cassian out of this party, but the damned droid had already retreated with disinterest.

"You'll have to find another drinking partner, Jai." He replied plainly… no, it wasn't plain, he sounded exhausted; he knew, though, that the woman almost surely wasn't going to accept his answer. Jai was persistent when she wanted to be, and something about Cassian always seemed to make her more tenacious than she usually was. Cassian discovered that, apparently, after making some passing comment to someone about Jai's persistence, she was never so stubborn with others, as his comment surprised the rebel he was talking to. She must have reserved all of that tiresome stubbornness for him and him alone. Upon discovering that, Cassian repeatedly had to stop himself from overthinking what that meant.

Cassian could tell from the look in Jai's eyes that she was about to attempt to persuade him to stay for a little while, and he could also see that she was hoping that she'd succeed. Giving her his own resolute look, Cassian turned his shoulder and started walking out of the crowd of other rebels.

"You know you can relax every now and again." Jai's voice chimed up from right alongside him; she sounded caring, as if she wasn't simply asking for his company, but asking for him to be at ease for once, "Maybe a party would be good for you."

"I think not." He glanced down at her. His tone nor his expression were either harsh or dismissive, but that weariness Jai spotted earlier seemed almost more present in his eyes, "I have to go debrief with Draven."

Jai couldn't argue with that particular point, knowing it to be true, though she was sure a debriefing couldn't take up much of his time. She sighed a little through her nose as she looked down at the Merenzane she was carrying. Something seemed to be bothering Cassian, or maybe this last mission was just so draining that he couldn't commit himself to socializing.

"Come back down for one drink?" She tried one final time, seeing the consideration on Cassian's face when she looked back toward him.

A part of Cassian wanted to say yes. Despite how awful he felt, and despite his complete lack of interest in the Festival of Stars, a part of him wanted to agree to a drink with some good company. He began to consider that maybe a drink is exactly what his drained heart needed right now, what his weathered mind could use. Though he wasn't keen on joining a pointless party, Cassian felt some kind of pull towards spending time with Jai, especially given the way she looked at him with such hopefulness. Whether that be because he was fond of her or because he knew he had something important to say to her, he wasn't sure.

After all these months, Jai had become a friend, though her tactics were relatively new ones to him - any time she was told "Cassian doesn't do this" or "Cassian doesn't like that," she blatantly did whatever those things were to challenge them, to test them and see if they were true or if simply no one else dared to try to get any closer to him.

Cassian would have expected himself to become annoyed by Jai's persistence, but despite himself he found that he respected it, found that he even came to genuinely like it - because he kept so many people at arm's length, he was refreshed by Jai's resolve to get to know him, to be his friend and to see him open up. Sure, Jai's disregard for his space could occasionally be a pain in his ass, but more often than not it turned out to be exactly what Cassian needed in a companion, in a friend, in… well, he didn't want to consider what she could be beyond a friend.

Jai raised one brow as a grin spread across her lips - Cassian's silent consideration was a promising reaction, she had come to learn. The silence meant he was interested in her offer, at least to some degree, he just simply didn't want to admit so. As he recognized the look on Jai's face, Cassian sighed with an indignant roll of his eyes.

He lifted his index finger between them for emphasis, "One drink."

Jai's smile grew wider as she motioned with her head towards the turbolift, hoping her smile would help lift some of that obvious stress off of his shoulders, "Go take care of your debriefing, captain."

The trace of a sad smile pulled at Cassian's face as he turned away from the woman to make his retreat. Jai watched him go with a content expression, eyeing her friend closely until finally the doors of the lift closed, only catching at the very last second that there appeared to be some kind of a sadness in his eyes.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Jai had a feeling Cassian was going to flake on her.

Captain Kinall from Jai's mission already returned to the hangar, and the woman had gone up to command only a few minutes before Cassian. She'd been back long enough to finish one drink, and Jai found herself wondering if Cassian's debriefing had run over, or if he changed his mind and went back to his dorm without telling her.

She shouldn't be upset at him. It felt childish, this anxiety that bubbled in Jai's chest as she considered why Cassian didn't show. If he didn't want to join her for a drink, then so be it - she shouldn't let herself get upset over that, it was far too out of character.

But a small, nagging part of Jai was, at the very least, disappointed - despite how uneventful their conversations could be sometimes, she nonetheless was looking forward to getting some time with Cassian tonight. She always looked forward to even the briefest of minutes she got to see him.

Jai sat at one of the tables dragged out for the party, Abe and Miona across from her, and beside her another doctor named Pek. For what felt like the hundredth time, Miona was encouraging Abe to talk to another rebel that he fancied, and Pek was telling Miona and Jai to stop pestering him about it.

Of all the twi'leks Jai had met through the years, Abe was by far the most peculiar - the twi'leks back on Kafrene always seemed bold, fearless, and without any hesitation, but Abe was constantly getting caught up in his own head, always questioning and calculating everything before coming to any decision. It's what Jai found charming about him; the fact that he shared that quality with her younger brother is what drew her to Abe in the first place.

"Jai," Miona's voice stressed, drawing her friend from her daze - stupidly, Jai had been staring at the turbolift and once more got caught up wondering where Cassian was. Jai quickly collected herself, looking around the table, "Tell Abe he just needs to go talk to Chiri."

Jai could see Pek and Abe both roll their eyes, and the slicer gave a half-assed grin, "Abe, tonight is kind of the perfect night to go for it, what could go wrong?"

"I'm not going to make an idiot of myself trying to flirt with anyone." Abe argued nervously, looking tired to be having this conversation yet again.

Jai shrugged noncommittally, lifting her glass to her lips, "Then stop ogling her every time you see her - she might start to notice you."

Miona laughed good-naturedly, setting her hand on Abe's forearm as reassurance.

"Leave him alone, you guys." Pek rolled her eyes at them, giving Jai a little jab with her elbow, "We've had this conversation a thousand times already."

Jai gave her friend a nudge back, the corner of her mouth pulled up slightly, "Fine, fine, I promise no more talking about Chiri."

"You don't make promises." Miona scoffed around the rim of her glass.

Jai paused before nodding in agreement, raising her glass, "You got me there."

Jai's eyes drifted back toward the turbolift, and she mentally reprimanded herself for it - she shouldn't let Cassian trouble her. It was a stupid thing to keep focusing on; she was here with her friends, so why let one man's disinterested agreement to make an appearance linger in her thoughts?

A minute later, the turbolift doors opened, and dumbly Jai perked up a little, only to be immediately let down when she saw it wasn't Cassian. She hoped the others didn't notice her.

She sighed a little through her nose, knocking back the rest of the Merenzane in her glass in one swift swig before she started chewing on the inside of her lip, her brows pulled into a slight glare as she started down at her empty glass.

This was stupid. Why did she get herself excited for Cassian in the first place? They were friends, but they weren't that close. And yet, Jai felt a distinct fondness, a feeling of closeness despite knowing they weren't that. It was that draw she felt to him, the one stirred up when she started thinking "what if" again - it was the things in her head overriding what was going on in reality. She just needed to relax and have another drink, and the rebel captain would be forgotten for the remainder of the evening.

And yet… Jai felt some distinct pull to the man this evening, something she couldn't shake. It had to have been that look in his eyes earlier - Cassian looked exhausted despite putting up at least a decent front of impassivity, he looked downcast despite trying to make jokes to keep Jai off his scent. Maybe she should have read his body language better - he was probably so drained from whatever his latest job was, both emotionally and physically, that there was no way he could try to take part in socializing tonight.

'I don't think he's okay.' The thought suddenly struck Jai, though she tried to dismiss it as being her own anxiety just creating extra worry. Cassian was probably as fine as one could be after a rough mission, he just didn't care about this party. But then again, he seemed more off than usual earlier, like he was not entirely there despite trying to pretend he was.

Jai came back to reality again, looking around the table at her friends, wondering if they had noticed just how long she'd been silent. Miona seemed to give her a look of at least recognition that she had zoned out, but it wasn't a knowing expression as if she could figure out what was on Jai's mind. Jai sighed a little, glancing at her glass again before pushing up from the table without entirely thinking about it.

"I need another drink." The group's eyes drew toward her, and Abe lifted his own glass and shook it a little.

"Grab another for me, too?"

Jai nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure she'd be back to the table any time soon; but she didn't want them being suspicious about her disappearance, at least not from the get-go. As her friends returned to their discussion, Jai glanced back towards the turbolift as she started walking away - she knew she had herself convinced that something wasn't right, and now there was no shaking that though. Her legs carried her toward one of the tables full of drinks, but as she glanced down at it, she had no interest in refilling her glass.

Jai sighed - it looked like she was going to search for the rebel captain after all.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Cassian wasn't sure when he had zoned out or how long he had been sitting still as a statue on the edge of his bed, but a knock at his door drew him out of his daze. As he blinked rapidly a few times, the knocking sounded again - how long had someone been at his door? Cassian's eyes drifted toward it, staring weakly - he was too exhausted to deal with anyone right now, and there wasn't anything that could be that important right now.

"Cassian." A voice sounded from the other side, causing his brows to perk and his back to straighten in recognition - Jai. She came looking for him, much to his own surprise.

When he agreed to return to the hangar, he was still on the fence about whether or not he'd even show, about whether or not he wanted to tell Jai what was on his mind. When he returned to his room to clean up after his meeting with Draven, Cassian knew he didn't have the emotional energy to put up with a crowd, even if it were just for a few minutes. He figured Jai would be content with her friends and forget all about asking him to show up, but evidently his assumption was false.

Cassian pushed his elbows off of his bare knees, staring at the door again as he sighed, deciding whether or not he even wanted to get up. Jai's knocking had stopped - did she give up? Despite himself, Cassian felt a certain disappointment, imagining Jai sighing on the opposite side of his door and walking away in defeat - maybe he wanted to talk to her, maybe he wanted some company. No, he wasn't the type that ever wanted someone around, especially not when he felt like shit as he was feeling tonight. Yet, something in him wanted to let Jai in.

Cassian rose to his feet while pushing his damp hair off of his forehead, hurrying to his small closet to dig out a pair of sweatpants, which he stumbled his legs into as he made for the door. As one hand finished pulling them up, the other snatched his discarded jacket from where he'd dropped it onto the floor.

He stuck his head out the door, seeing that Jai had, in fact, begun to retreat down the hall. For a moment, he simply stared at the back of her head, wondering what exactly he wanted - should he let her go, or should he call out to her? Why did he even go to his door to begin with? And why did he feel this craving for company somewhere in his chest, a craving for Jai's company?

"Jai?" His voice was quieter than he expected, and Cassian wondered if the slicer even heard him. But she paused and turned back, a small grin on her face as her eyes fell on the man that was halfway out in the hall. Upon spotting his damn hair and semi-bare chest, Jai looked Cassian up and down while he finished jerking the jacket over his shoulders; she quirked a brow slightly before looking back at his face while approaching.

"I thought you were gonna stand me up." She teased, making a joke out of the very real disappointment that she had been feeling earlier. As she paused in front of him, though, Jai noticed the conflict in Cassian's expression that had been there all night.

"… I thought about it." He admitted while looking into his room, silently leading Jai back inside. Just like before, she looked around the space, noticing this time though that there was a trail of discarded clothes leading towards the refresher. Her eyes turned back up toward Cassian, who stood between his bed and his closet, his head turned in consideration, as if deciding whether to face her or turn away, whether to remain on his feet or sit down. Despite the man giving no real clues, Jai knew there was something off about Cassian tonight, she just couldn't put her finger on why that was.

The two were quiet for a nearly uncomfortable length of time, Cassian's back still turned to her as they both stood dumbly in the middle of the room. So, Jai thought, she had been right to come looking for him, though she felt bad for her immature worry over why he didn't show.

"So, I take it you don't want that drink tonight." Jai finally said in a somewhat serious tone, though the answer was already obvious. She moved to take a seat on the couch, eyes still watching Cassian attentively as he finally turned to face her. He didn't have to say anything, Jai saw in his expression the confirmation she needed - it wasn't a good night. He was no longer putting up the front he had on down in the hangar as the two stared at each other for another long beat, Cassian hoping that he simply looked tired rather than distraught. But the observant shine in Jai's eyes made it clear to Cassian that he had been figured out.

Jai bit the inside of her cheek, wondering what she should say next - she never was one for serious conversations, especially when she knew the topic was something unideal. She especially wasn't prepared to have one with Cassian, and she wondered why the hell the man let her into his room - he wasn't the type who'd want to share an upsetting conversation with just anyone. Should she just go and leave him be?

"What happened?" Jai heard herself ask without thinking, her brow furrowed in worry. Another long silence stretched out between them; Cassian stared into Jai's eyes for a moment, but eventually looked down at his bare feet, hands resting on his hips as he let out a small sigh.

"It's nothing." He said, his tone nearly convincing - it would have convinced someone else to drop the subject, but Jai could see that this wasn't nothing, and she was never one to immediately give up, especially not with Cassian. Jai nodded while looking away, though she didn't accept his answer. Her eyes fell on the trail of clothes again as she considered.

"Look, I'm shit at this, but… do you need to talk about it?" She turned her gaze back toward Cassian, who was motionless as his tired eyes continued to look at her with reservation. Cassian knew he needed to tell her. Sure, Jai would have heard about this eventually, he already knew the information would make its rounds tomorrow - she should just wait till then. But something about it still nagged at him, something that felt as if it were important for him to discuss it with her now before it was too late. He had to be the one to tell her. it wouldn't be right if she heard it from anyone else, but he didn't know how he'd do it.

Finally, he shook his head slowly, his jaw tight as practiced authority briefly lit his eyes, though it only lingered for a moment. Jai in return gave a disheartened nod, pushing herself back up to her feet as her eyes continued to search Cassian's doleful face, her own worry evident in her expression.

As she took one defeated step towards the door, though, Cassian found himself taking a step forward as well, causing Jai to pause and look back at him. For a moment, Cassian sucked in his lips as he studied the woman's expression. There was yet again another long silence between them as they stared into each other's eyes unblinking.

Finally, Cassian took a deep breath, his voice quiet, "It's Gar."

Immediately, Jai's eyes widened with worry, nearly gasping as she inhaled through her nose - once she started to realize how dire Cassian's mood was, she feared that this was something she wouldn't want to hear, and the dread of that suddenly weighed heavily in her stomach.

If Gar was… Jai didn't even want to think the word. If he was, then that would be the first Rebellion casualty that would leave a mark on her heart. Jai knew others had passed in her six months as a rebel technician, but none of them she knew - though Jai tried to be at the very least friendly with each person that crossed her path, she knew only a sliver of the people on Yavin 4.

She wasn't like Cassian - she didn't feel connected to every single person here, she didn't feel weighed down every time another rebel didn't return home, she didn't let those losses linger. So many had been lost and Jai simply accepted it while moving on, knowing it came with the territory and finding it hard to feel anything when she didn't even know the person.

But Gar? A man who had been a boss and a mentor to her, who had been nearly a brotherly figure as of recent? She almost didn't want to hear what Cassian would say next.

Jai didn't even feel her feet move beneath her as she closed the distance between her and Cassian, pausing only a few inches in front of him as her wide eyes stared up into his. Those dark eyes were practically begging him to not utter what she feared, begging him to say he was just pulling her leg. But Cassian's downcast expression didn't change as he stared back at her.

"We got separated," Cassian started, his voice a dismal monotone, "The Empire got to him and Halu before we could."

Jai's next breath came out shaky, her wide eyes dropping to stare at Cassian's chest, afraid to look into his eyes for fear of losing her composure. Her mouth hung open slightly as she tried to process the information, but she could feel herself trembling as the grief started to creep in. Her hands began to wring at her sides, eyes slowly beginning to water. But tears didn't fall as she tried to blink them away - no, even in her worst moments, Jai had always been good about holding them back, about reeling herself in before she became a complete mess. The last time she cried in front of anyone was the day Tillian died. And just like what happened that day, what happened to Gar was completely out of Jai's control, and that silent mantra is what kept her even slightly stable as she stood here now, even if she knew that stability was only temporary.

Jai found herself warily looking up into Cassian's face again, a part of her desperate to reach out to him, but she continued to stand there stiffly, feeling her body ache suddenly as if she'd just run a marathon, exhausted and ready to collapse.

Cassian, though still obviously feeling that deep disappointment, had had at least some time to accept what happened - the ship ride back to Yavin 4 gave him and his team some time to mourn. As a captain, he had to be the grounding strength for everyone else whenever missions went awry, and having to do that through the years helped him develop his own means of coping with distress. But staring down at Jai as she tried to process the information, dealing with the emotions of a loss one-on-one rather than with a team, threatened to turn his exhaustion back into grief.

Silently, Cassian reached out to set a light hand on Jai's wrist, his pinky barely resting in her palm, but his touch caused her to start in surprise and jerk back from him. Her eyes widened a little as she met his stare, taking in another deep, shuttered breath as she tried to calm herself, holding her arm in her other hand as if Cassian's delicate touch had burned her. Slowly, she turned away and dropped down to sit on Cassian's bed as if she couldn't hold herself up any longer, her shoulders sagging and her head hanging lowly to hide her face from Cassian.

Jai never liked to be touched when she was emotional, ever since she was a kid she shied from it - if someone ever tried to offer her comfort, it often opened up the floodgates, and the last thing she wanted was to be blubbering in anyone's arms. Before she could even think about letting someone comfort her or talk to her about what she was feeling, Jai first had to deal with the pain herself, and if that meant running from the comfort of others, then so be it. And despite that part of her that wanted to reach out, that wanted to cling to the person nearest to her, Jai couldn't bring herself to do it - being so raw and vulnerable in front of anyone else terrified her.

Cassian stared at Jai knowingly, studying her pained expression as he felt his own fatigue from the day rising up again. He hesitated to move, even if it was to walk to his couch or to the seat in his kitchen - he didn't want to startle Jai again. So, once more, he stood stock-still, watching and waiting patiently.

A few long minutes passed in thick silence before Jai suddenly stood and darted into Cassian's refresher with barely any time for him to process that she had jumped up. His concerned eyes lingered on the closed door briefly before he finally started moving again, his knees feeling stiff as he walked to his kitchenette for a glass of water. He sighed as he chugged it down, having not realized how dry his mouth was beginning to feel.

He couldn't have anticipated that he'd feel so awful having to tell Jai what happened - Cassian had dealt with loss through the years, and had dealt with telling others about loss more times than he could count. Though it never necessarily got any easier, Cassian had grown accustomed to being the bearer of bad news, to seeing his fellow rebels mourn. And yet, something about this last time hurt more than it should have, something in Jai's eyes stung unexpectedly when she pulled away from him.

Jai had done something to him, though Cassian couldn't quite say what that was. Some time between their last night alone together and this one, Cassian started to feel something unfamiliar for the woman, and that something made it so much harder to see her broken and despairing, retreating from his touch and hiding on the opposite side of the door from him. Cassian was surprised to find that he wished he could be right there by Jai's side and consoling her as she mourned.

Despite himself, Cassian hated that he had to tell Jai, though he also couldn't have allowed anyone else to tell her. It had to be him, that much he knew, but that only made it somehow hurt more when he watched her face crumble.

Cassian refilled his glass and shuffled back towards his bed, taking a long sip of water once he sat down. His eyes drifted back towards the refresher door as he set the cup aside, feeling a pull to rise back to his feet and check on Jai. But he knew better than to try - he had to leave her be. For all he cared, Jai could keep herself locked up in his refresher all damn night, and he still wouldn't disturb her.

Once Cassian had finished his second glass of water, he looked down at the jacket he had quickly thrown on when Jai knocked at his door, slowly pulling it off of himself and dropping it in the pile of dirty clothes he stripped off earlier, wanting to simply lie back, let out a deep sigh, and close his eyes for a while. But as his gaze lingered on the pile that sat just before the refresher door, he tiredly pushed himself to his feet, knowing he shouldn't leave it there for Jai to accidentally trip over on her way out. He quickly hid all his dirty clothes away and retrieved a fresh tank top, hearing the door open behind him just as he had pulled it over his head.

Cassian turned to look at Jai as he pulled the shirt down his torso, noticing immediately that she wasn't looking at his face but rather at his chest, even if for a split second. Though there were bags under her tired eyes, Jai looked a little more refreshed - he could tell she had been crying and that she tried to clean herself up to hide the evidence of it. Her face and hairline were damp from splashing water onto her skin, and her eyes even had a different quality to them now. Through their tiredness, her eyes looked a little brighter and clearer - maybe she was trying to shove away any pain she was feeling. But her energy, too, had shifted, and Cassian felt a little less rigid than before - he was reminded that this wasn't the first loss Jai had dealt with, and it looked as if she had found a way of coping with the pain life threw at her.

The two stared at one another once more, studying the other's expression thoughtfully. Jai gave Cassian a weak, cagey smile, one that made the sadness in her eyes a touch more obvious - he suspected the look was to reassure herself rather than him. She let out a slight sigh and finally stepped back into the room, slowly approaching Cassian, once more coming to a pause only about a foot in front of him. She looked down while licking her dry lips, her eyes darting back and forth as if she were searching for the words that clearly wanted to leave her mouth.

Her eyes finally met his again through her lashes, "… Thanks for telling me." Her voice was quiet, and Cassian's brows rose a little at the words, "I wouldn't want to hear it from anyone else."

Cassian felt an unexpected stutter in his chest before he spoke slowly, his tone as quiet as hers, "I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to tell you."

Jai gave a slight nod in understanding as she looked down again, her eyes falling onto one of Cassian's hands as his thumb slid across the pads of his fingers edgily. She reached out and grabbed his hand firmly, drawing Cassian's surprised eyes down to their point of contact as well. Neither of them moved for a few long moments until finally Cassian gave Jai's fingers a reassuring squeeze. A faint sad smile ghosted across her lips again as she looked back up at his face, studying his features fondly, and despite how emotional they both were, Cassian nonetheless felt a warmth stir in his chest thanks to the look Jai was giving him.

"Draven wants me to tell your department tomorrow." Cassian started as his eyes returned to linger on their joined hands, "Chase is going to take over as supervisor."

Jai nodded, pushing down the lump that dared to rise in her throat again, "Chase'll be great, Gar trained her well."

Cassian turned his warm eyes back up to Jai's face, surveying her expression carefully as he thought, "Do you want to take tomorrow off?"

"No," she gave him a quick, reassuring smile and a shake of her head, and Cassian wasn't sure if he was imagining it or if Jai did move a touch closer, "I'll be better if I keep busy. I don't need you treating me any different than the rest of the hangar techs."

Her words weren't accusatory but thankful and appreciative that Cassian even asked her the question - if Jai needed evidence that Cassian had any interest in her, that was it. Cassian showing that kind of care to her eliminated any doubt Jai had regarding their friendship.

Jai squeezed Cassian's hand before slowly pulling away, her fingers gliding across his almost as if she didn't want to let go. Cassian's fingers clenched slightly, finding that he suddenly missed her touch. Jai took a single step back, sighing as she looked around the room while in thought.

"I should go." Her tone nearly contradicted her words, as if she disdained to even say them. But she was drained from the news about Gar, and she was certain that Cassian was as well - they both could use some good rest. She took another couple of steps before turning on her heel, and once more Cassian found himself taking a step forward.

"You could stay." Jai's eyes turned back to meet his, a questioning look in them. Cassian's expression was softer than she'd ever seen it, "Maybe we could both use the company."

A contented smile spread across Jai's lips, a warmth rising in her chest that helped to ease some of the pain that had been weighing on her just minutes prior.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Cassian awoke to the sound of blankets ruffling and Jai breathing unevenly. He wasn’t sure what time it was or what time the two had finally fallen asleep, but without checking the clock he was almost certain it was very early morning. Cassian had been a light sleeper almost his entire life, so although Jai’s movements probably would not have disturbed most people, she was just loud enough for his ears to prick up and notice.

Though the room was nearly pitch black, when he turned his head Cassian could tell Jai was still on the couch where he had left her, having not heard her rise from it. He insisted, once he started to see how tired Jai was, that she take his bed, but she just as adamantly argued that his cramped little couch would be fine, seeing as she was shorter so it would be less uncomfortable for her. Though Cassian tried to argue, he knew Jai wouldn’t budge, so at the very least he gave her his good blanket, hoping it would be some comfort to her.

For a minute, he simply lied still listening -- after Jai’s initial movement, which must have been her sitting up and rearranging, she hardly made a sound. If it weren’t for her uneven breathing, Cassian would have suspected that she had fallen back asleep; but those uneven breaths were shaky, as if the loss of Gar was coming right back up and threatening to wear so deeply at her mind that she couldn’t sleep again.

Cassian debated whether or not to say something, whether or not he should sit up and ask if she wanted to talk, wanted some kind of comfort. Maybe she had a nightmare that roused her, and maybe she’d simply want to be left alone; but maybe this time she’d want to talk to him.

As he heard Jai shift around again, as if fighting to find a comfortable position but to no avail, Cassian finally spoke up, his voice thick with sleep, “Jai.”

He heard the slightest of surprised noises escape her, and if he were looking Cassian was sure the startled look on Jai’s face might be mildly comical.

“I’m sorry,” Jai whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Cassian propped himself onto his elbows to look in her direction, though because of the darkness he still could only just make out Jai’s silhouette, “I’m a light sleeper. You alright?”

“Fine…” Her tone wasn’t entirely convincing, but at least she didn’t sound as sad as Cassian feared she would -- she just sounded tired, “Just woke up suddenly. Must’ve been something in my dream, I guess.”

Cassian could see the way Jai slumped down a little, again making a feeble attempt at getting comfortable, “Or maybe your body’s protesting against the couch.”

Jai let out a huffed laugh, rolling her eyes, “My back does suddenly feel like it’s aged a couple of decades.”

Cassian sat upright, and he could feel Jai’s eyes trying to make out his silhouette in the darkness as well. As he grinned at Jai’s response, he stared in her general direction for a couple of moments, “Let’s trade.”

“You think your back will manage any better on this thing?” Her voice sounded humored by the suggestion, “Stay put, Andor.”

Cassian nearly laughed as he started to push himself out of the bed, retrieving his glass from the bedside table while shuffling towards the kitchen, which supplied the one small bit of light into the room from an emergency light that sat on the wall above the bar between the kitchen and the rest of the living space.

“I don’t think I’ll be falling asleep again too soon.” He said while refilling his cup. Turning back to the room, he could make Jai out a little better now that he was closer, and he held the glass in her direction, “Thirsty?”

Without answering, Jai lifted herself off the couch and padded over towards Cassian, circling the bar to retrieve the glass from his outstretched hand while leaning her hip against the counter. Cassian mirrored her position, though he rested some of his weight on his palm atop the bar as well as he stared into her face. Cassian could now make out her features just a little thanks to the faint light and their proximity to one another -- the outlines of her nose and lips, the slight glint of the light reflecting in her eyes. He looked down at her throat as he heard her swallow back nearly the entire glass of water.

Jai felt Cassian watching her far too closely, and yet she didn’t feel as uncomfortable under his gaze as she normally would have. As she set the cup carefully on the counter, she, too, stared up at him, trying to make out as much of his face as possible in the minimal lighting. Silence lingered between them as they stood there, neither having anything to say.

Though he could see her arm move from where it was crossed with the other, Cassian still jumped just slightly when he felt Jai’s hand slide over his, her thumb faintly rubbing circles on the outside of his wrist. He glanced down at their connected hands before finding the glint of her eyes again.

“Thank you, again, Cass.” Just like the first time, the gentle delivery of the unexpected nickname caused a shiver to work it’s way up Cassian’s spine. He hoped Jai didn’t notice.

“There’s nothing to thank me for.” He answered in a similarly quiet tone, tilting his head down slightly; he couldn’t help but feel guilty about what happened to Gar. The expert technician rarely went into the field anymore, but Cassian allowed him to go on this mission because the man showed interest. If Cassian had just told him no, Gar would still be here. Jai had no reason to thank him a second time, let alone the first time from earlier in the evening.

All of Cassian’s attention briefly focused on where Jai’s thumb still brushed delicately against his skin -- how was it possible that the touch simultaneously calmed him and made his heart beat just a little louder in his ears?

Jai shrugged, attempting to speak jocularly, “You didn’t give me shit about crying in your ‘fresher and you let me stay here -- that’s worth some thanks.”

Cassian couldn’t help the small step forward he took, moving in even closer to Jai than he already was -- something about the dismissiveness of her earlier upset bothered him, “Your feelings are not a joke, Jai.”

The seriousness of his tone took Jai by surprise, causing her to look up at him curiously, though Cassian couldn’t quite make out the expression in the darkness. He could tell her eyes were burning into him, and he stared right back with just as much weight. He found his mind focusing back on her hand atop his -- Jai’s thumb had already stopped moving, but it felt as if her grip tightened just slightly. In that same moment, Cassian became acutely aware of how close he had moved to her, how he felt an almost static energy bouncing between them. Without her saying so, Cassian knew Jai felt it as well.

Jai lightly exhaled through her nose, her next words taking Cassian by surprise, “If someone asked me six months ago if I’d ever care about you, Cassian, I would have laughed in their face.”

Jai could see the faint light bounce off of Cassian’s teeth as he smiled unexpectedly at the remark, causing a grin to pull across her own lips. Cassian considered her for just a moment with fondness, “If someone had asked me, I would have done the same thing.”

The admissions caused them both to laugh smally, but it also felt like another spark of static surged between them. They stared at each other for another brief beat before Jai dropped her gaze to the darkness between them, feeling her heart beating far too heavily against her chest. Little did she know that Cassian’s heart was pounding just as quickly.

Did he understand the full weight of the meaning in her confession? Did she? Jai was surprised by her own admission, by the way her heart drummed in her ears, by this sudden need to lean into the man before her. The pull she felt towards Cassian seemed so much more palpable then it had been before, as if she could no longer keep it at bay; Jai knew she was doomed to succumb to that unfamiliar fluttery sensation in her stomach.

She called on her courage that felt as if it were trying to evade her, her voice coming out quieter and even hesitant as she looked up through her lashes, though thanks to the dark Cassian didn’t notice, “… I probably care about you more than I should.”

A weight felt as if it dropped in Cassian’s stomach, the confession seeming to echo between his ears as his heart drummed off-rhythm against his rib cage. His eyes widened in surprise and he stared intensely and unblinkingly at Jai, feeling his free hand twitch with some unfamiliar need to reach towards her, as if he still had to search for something to clarify what her words meant.

He realized then exactly what it was that had been building up inside of him, what these nerves were that only seemed to pop up when Jai was around. Cassian had had an understanding of what he was beginning to feel towards Jai, but in the past he was able to suppress it and shove it aside, to pretend it was unimportant, that it would pass. With the woman in question standing here mere inches before him, owning up to her own feelings, his weren’t quite as easy to ignore.

Cassian dipped his head, hoping it would draw Jai to look back up towards him as he leaned a little closer in search of her gaze. He understood exactly what Jai had meant, and yet he wanted to ask her, to hear the explanation exactly as she meant it to be understood. He wanted to hear it straight from her lips.

Jai continued to stare up at Cassian through her lashes, her stomach knotting when he moved in closer to her. If either of them moved any further, she would be leaning into him, her forehead pressed to his cheek, losing all traces of distance between their bodies. Despite trying to keep herself together, Jai’s breath came out in a waver that she tried to control, and she knew there was no way Cassian could have missed it.

In a brief moment of confidence, Jai slid her hand from it’s spot atop Cassian’s, fingertips slowly gliding over his forearm and securing a grip on his bicep. In the same second that she gave his upper arm a slight squeeze, as if to assure herself that he was really right there in front of her and that this conversation was really happening, Cassian’s hand steadily reached up and found a secure hold at the nape of her neck, his fingers twisting delicately in her dark locks and pulling her head back. For a beat, they breathed in unison, a shared look of yearning in their eyes as Cassian briefly pressed his forehead to Jai’s, giving them both one last moment to consider what was about to happen.

And then their lips met frantically, noses bumping and teeth nearly clashing together, neither certain who moved first as their need for one another took charge. Cassian’s lips were rough against her own, but the sharp taste of him drew a sigh from Jai’s throat, her free hand moving to grip the front of his t-shirt, pulling herself even closer as if he was her oxygen supply. Cassian’s tongue licked across her lower lip in a frenzied response, the heat of her body seeming to engulf him as she drew him nearer, her other hand jumping up to securely rest against his cheek.

Cassian’s arm wrapped around Jai’s narrow waist desperately, his palm pressing her flush against him while the fingers in her hair tightening their grip, twisting a little. An eager sound rumbled in his chest as he slipped his tongue between her lips, tangling with her own heatedly, feeling Jai grab at him with urgency, the scratch of her nails along his torso stirring a second moan from his throat.

As their kiss grew deeper, each feeling drunk off of the other, Cassian pressed forward until he had Jai’s back pinned against the bar, his hands snaking down her body with groping fingers that needed to feel every inch of her, his lips not straying from hers for even a second. When he found a secure grip on her ass, Cassian swiftly lifted Jai up onto the counter, causing a slight moan to escape her as he pressed himself against the warmth between her legs.

Jai’s fingers threaded messily into Cassian’s hair, nails scratching against his scalp as he finally pulled his mouth from hers, Jai gasping for air as he hardly paused for breath before starting to leave open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, his teeth scraping hungrily against warm skin. He bit down lightly on the side of Jai’s neck, causing her to gasp and arch her back, the press of her breasts against his chest encouraging Cassian to nibble at her skin again before sucking it between his lips to leave a faint bruise. Jai let out another clipped moan as Cassian’s wandering hands squeezed her ass and pressed her forward against him as he gave a firm roll of his hips. His own shuddered groan muffled against Jai’s collarbone, his breath fiery hot on her skin.

Cassian worked his way back up to Jai’s mouth, nipping at her skin before finally crashing onto Jai’s waiting lips again. One of his hands trailed up her side, giving extra care to press firmly against her breast before continuing up to settle against her cheek, desperate to somehow pull her closer than she already was. Cassian pressed forward hungrily as Jai slipped her slick tongue back into his mouth with a smile pulling at her lips, leaning back under him until she finally let her weight fall onto her elbow. Cassian braced himself on his forearm as he continued to urge Jai down onto her back, the two moaning in unison as he gave another slow roll of his hips against her. As Jai lay flat on the counter, Cassian’s hand pulled away from her cheek, the delicate trailing of his fingers causing a shiver to travel up Jai’s spine as his hand found its way to her own. Jai desperately deepened the kiss as they laced their fingers together, slowly moving their joined hands above Jai’s head.

Their hands bumped into something that they didn’t spare a second thought for until it suddenly crashed down onto the floor, causing Jai to jolt up with a gasp, bumping into Cassian’s forehead before he could pull back from her.

“Shit.” He hissed in surprise, the hand that had been laced with Jai’s now pressed to his forehead. He continued to linger over Jai, the both of them trying to collect themselves and catch their breath, the air red hot between them. They met eyes, their breath mingling, and gently Cassian lowered his forehead to rest against Jai’s delicately, his hand finding a new resting place at the base of her neck.

Despite herself, a pure laugh sprang out of Jai, her amused smile wide as she closed her eyes, nearly embarrassed, “We broke your glass.”

A beaming smile crossed Cassian’s lips as well as he laughed, his nose brushing against Jai’s as he answered breathily, his accent thicker, “Doesn’t matter.”

He leaned forward to brush his lips against Jai’s briefly, pulling back far enough to look into her eyes again, his chest still heaving against hers. Slowly, he pushed himself up, his hands finding a resting place atop Jai’s thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles into the fabric of the sweatpants he let her borrow. For a moment longer, Jai stayed on her back, her hands sliding their way up Cassian’s forearms, fingertips pressing firmly into his skin as an eased smile tugged at her lips.

“Come here.” Cassian’s gentle yet commanding tone caused Jai’s middle to tighten with need, just the timbre of his voice alone causing her to let out a yearning sigh. Her hands secured around Cassian’s biceps again and used him as leverage to pull herself up, bringing her nose within centimeters of his as she sat up.

Cassian sighed contentedly, his breath brushing against Jai’s skin as he thought for a few long moments; he couldn’t find the words for any of his thoughts, so instead he pressed his lips tenderly to hers, one of his hands rising to cup her cheek affectionately. Once more, they pressed their foreheads together, mindlessly grazing their fingers along one another’s skin as they tried to collect themselves.

The longer Jai sat here and considered her current position, the more unexpected yet warming it became -- here she was, wrapped around Cassian Andor and feeling so completely at peace enveloped in his touch. She had considered in the past what this would be like, to be close to him and out of breath, to feel his lips against hers, to feel a heat twisting in her abdomen, but those daydreams were nothing like the reality. She had thought they would always remain daydreams, thoughts that passed her by not to be taken too seriously. Getting close to Cassian like this didn’t seem possible, and yet somehow here she was, high on his touch, drunk on his passionate eyes. Cassian, the man who didn’t like to get too close to anyone, whose best friend was a droid, who six months ago had vowed to distrust her… and he was standing here between her legs, his hold on her possessive and in want of more.

She wouldn’t say lucky was the right word, but Jai certainly felt satisfied as she and Cassian remained wrapped around one another.

Cassian finally took a step back from her, his fingers gliding along the top of Jai’s thighs and making her shiver. Her eyes had to readjust to the lack of lighting in the room, but she was sure she could see Cassian grinning fondly at her response to his touch.

His hands found hers as he took another step back, whispering, “Come on,” as he helped Jai hop down from the counter, the broken glass that had fallen to the floor somewhere completely forgotten -- he didn’t care enough to deal with it right now, he’d come back to it in the morning.

Cassian’s fingers lazily tangled with one of Jai’s hands, his eyes straining to find the glass shards on the floor so that neither of them stepped on something sharp. He carefully led Jai out of the kitchen, pausing in his cramped living space with the bed just a step behind him to look back at Jai with a tired smirk. Despite how close they were earlier, she felt her cheeks heat up, feeling the power of his gaze though she could no longer see it in the near-darkness. Cassian lightly tugged on Jai’s hand until she stepped closer, and she could feel Cassian’s free hand just hovering over her face until finally he set it on the base of her neck.

Cassian’s past fears and concerns about Jai crossed his mind as he held her in a comfortable and intimate silence -- he recalled their evening of drinking, when she first managed to send some kind of electric spark through him, when she first made him question the feelings going on inside of him. He had been so afraid to consider them and acknowledge them, because he knew what they meant -- he wanted to get close to someone, get close to her, despite all of his precautions through the years to avoid ever wanting that.

He realized that night two months ago that Jai would be trouble for him, but a completely different kind of trouble than what he had originally projected when they met. She was persistent with him, familiar with him, always making efforts with him -- no one had ever shown that exact combination of traits to him before. Jai had been throwing him for a loop for months now, and somehow she managed to wiggle her way into his heart, somehow slipping past all the emotional safeguards he built up through the years.

Cassian used to be afraid of this feeling. In many ways he still was. And yet, once his lips were on Jai’s, that fear dissolved away, at least temporarily. He wanted -- needed -- to be close to her, yet something in him continued to fear what would happen if he got too close. It was a habit that held him back, the habit of keeping people at arm’s length. But Jai… as much as it scared him, Jai made him want to break the habit and start a new one.

If anyone asked Cassian prior to this evening if he found himself attracted to Jai Tillian, he would have fervently denied it to the point of suspicion.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Care [kair]

noun

a cause or object of concern; serious attention

provision of what is needed for the well-being or protection of a person

verb

to be concerned; have thought or regard; to have a special preference

to wish; desire; like

#cassian andor #cassian andor x original character #cassian andor x oc #cassian andor x reader #diego luna #rogue one #star wars #star wars fic #rogue one fic #rouge one fanfiction #ca #fics #fics*#saudade

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peachyybunni · 3 years

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~Note-ik so early i normally do notes at the end, this story contains publicly outing someones sexuality, hans specifically, also to note again what ive written is for entertainment purposes in no way is this me assuming han and minhos and the rest of skz's sexuality this is only meant for plot, how you see this fic is how you see it but it should not effect how you see the artists in real time, again this is for entertainment purposes. Thank you~ •°•

Han walked down the halls of his highschool silently, he was used to it, the low laughter of some kids who had too much time on their hands, and the kids who didnt snicker, Either felt for the poor boy, or just didnt care. What han didnt know was that someone from the football team. Came to him and purposefully bumped his shoulder "OH my GOD jisung im sooooooo sorry, oh so i found something interesting...." this caught many kids attention "you ready" han only stayed quiet but this kid continued, his girlfriend was quick to intervene for poor hans sake, she felt for the boy he was doing nothing wrong. "Baby just stop alrig-" "babe! Didn't you hear me. I said I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!" hans crush minho who was also part of the team and his other friends watched curious innocent eyes on the two males who stood, "well after practice i was walking yaknow down the hall and i happened to see you, but something caught my eye...why do YOU draw so many pictures of minho...right i was curious too. And so i waited a little till you left..and i went in; DUDE you suck by the way you CALL THIS ART" he held up a drawing of minho except it wasnt realistic. It was in manga form since han was still shaky with realism, han stared- shocked, tears in his eyes "oh but...then i decided well...thats weird..then i heard someone talking "do you think han is going to ask minho out yet hes been hyping himself up for sooo long"" he mocked the persons voice this boy, who han only talked to once was now publicly outting him..he wasnt even out to his family, tears streamed down his chubby cheeks. His breathe fogging up his glasses "your fucking disgusting han jisung your lucky i didnt show him the photos you took...and everyone agrees even your precious lee minho" he whispered, turning hans head making him watch as minho angerily looked at him. Before storming off and han wiggled desperate to escape, once free he then sprinted to the art room, where he locked the door, closed the blinds, and destroyed everything. From his sketch books to the messy paint stained easels, his broken sobs echoed he was so embarrassed, frightened, ashamed! He fell over hands bleeding from paper cuts and tearing wooden easels apart he got up yanking his camera out that held pictures of minho and broke it stomping it screaming curses apon curses his voice going weak as he silently cried.

A week passed and his old friends left him after finding out he was gay, his art buddies, who where part of the cause of him being outted he dropped them too. Hans anxiety rose easily every day since then. And now during math. He had to run to the bathroom to release the emotions; tears apon tears, heavy breathing. he sat against the stall, the sudden urge to puke shook his body and the boy found himself hurled over the toilet quiet broken sobs...he felt a hand pat his back "shhh its okay...." han looked tears flowing more as he saw the kid who outted him there. The boy picked han up slamming him too the wall, the force knocking everthing out of han as the football player, punched him hit after hit slur after slur, han simply passed out. tears and blood mixing. He just wanted to die at this point, he really was hating everything.

As he came too he noticed 7 boys surrounding the bed he laid on. He blinked before looking at the faces, it was no other than stray kids the most popular kids in the school. The captain of the football team Christopher or bangchan stood, vice captain minho who was next to him holding hans hand worried, felix and changbin, felix holding binnies arm weeping and jeongin who was sat down eating onigiri. The dance captian hyunjin stood with seungmin who is the vice captain of the dance team against the wall. "a-are you okay does it hurt anywhere?!?!" Minho said frantically han weakly nodded...tears in his eyes "w.....what.....happened" he strangled out.

Chan spoke up "you are very lucky....felix had to use the restroom, as did i. So as we came in, we saw that guy smirking and taking pictures of you we immediately had him taken away. his phone too." Han started weeping dryly laughing some "GOD i hate It here!!" He choked out and felix jumped and hugged his brusied and sore body "no dont! Dont s-say that jisungie we care for you!!-" han looked at him "im gay....i have a crush on your friend...who hates me" minho looked at him shocked, changbin spoke up "what does being gay have to do with this, felix is bisexual..chan is pan...hyunjin and jeongin are gay and in a relationship. And im bi as well" han looked shocked as this blonde boy who looked so scary with a deep voice, cuddled into him, felix reminded han of a baby chick, "get out please." Was all that came from his left and soon everyone left, felix clung onto han "HAN I LOVE YOU BE SAFE WITH MINHO HYUNG!!" changbin struggling to keep the boy at bay dragging him out, 'i-is that really the football team..how fruity-' a pair of warm lips met hans as a hand caressed his bruised cheek "look at me..." han obeyed and his heart fluttered and picked up more speed as minho touched his forehead..."i don't hate you at all...your too tiny and cute to hate..." "you looked at me with so much anger.." "quokka...no i was looking at him..never would i look at you like that" han leaned forward kissing minho again as they held eye contact, finally kissing more "i love you han.." han sobbed for the 1000th time and felix bursted in through the doors "HANNIE BE OUR FRIEND WE'LL PROTECT YOU!!!-" changbin rough voice broke in "YAHHHH-" Hyunjin made a dramatic ass scene as the yelling occurred making his lover laugh at him and kiss his cheek, feeding him some rice, han looked around then down "i-..." seungmin sat down next to han on his right. han knew, he was the smartest "just say yes...because if i see something like this happen again, i might take action as well..." han smiled and nodded.

From then on stray kids gained another member making the group 8 and no one and i mean no one messed with han anymore or else his boyfriend, or felix's wild ass would put the fear of god in them.

Han woke from his dream. sighing turning his alarm off..."what a weird dream...to realistic." he walked out seeing the gang arguing "oh morning" "morning lemme go shower then we can go practice for thunderous!!" Han walked off his boyfriend screaming about being hungry. And changbinnie joining in. "yOUR ALWAYS HUNGRY!!!" Felix screamed back.

~Notes- it was all a dream...a sad and scary one in fact. I wasnt and am not in the best mood so i made a sadish kinda story 👁👁

#han jisung #fanfic #stray kids #bang chan #lee know #changbin #lee felix #seungmin #jeongin #hyunjin

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lettingmydreamsspeak · 3 years

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The Heart Knows Best : Part VI

Summary: There is nothing like sitting across the table from the one you are interested in, but when you are slated to work with them, how are you going to keep focus?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: approx. 3300

Author’s Note: This one has been a few months in the making. Life definitely got in the way, in ways I didn’t imagine it would. It feels good to be back though. Catch up with Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, and Part V here before checking out Part VI!

************************************************************************

You felt time freeze in that moment. Who was going to ruin all of this and wake you up from this dream? Chris stood there just smiling at you.

“Yes, the very Y/n from the book that you read on the video! We had some discussions, and felt that she was the best fit for this project. Scott did remind us that you did specifically love the drawings from that book.”

Still staring into your eyes and holding your hand, Chris responded to Evelyn.

“Yes, this is true. By the way…it is so nice to meet you Y/n!” He had the biggest grin on his face, looking as if he wanted to laugh at the fact that you were standing in front of him. He was in shock, just as much as you were. As for Scott, well he is feeling pretty proud of himself. He wasn’t going to let this little secret out anytime soon.

“It is very nice to meet you as well Chris. Thank you for selecting our publishing firm to help bring your book to life.”

“Well, it’s not just my book. My brother Scott is a part of the writing adventure too.” Chris directed your attention over to the other side of the table.

“How rude of me not to introduce myself. Thank you Chris for the introduction.” Scott stood up from the table and eagerly walked over to greet you not just with a handshake, but with a quick hug.

“It’s very nice to meet you as well Scott!”

You were taken aback. Usually hugs weren’t a traditional way of greeting clients, but his friendly demeanor was welcome. If his hugs were a slight indication of what one from Chris would be like, you looked forward to experiencing it. Chris followed behind Scott, as he returned to the other side of the table, taking a seat across from you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look over at Chris, knowing that you would be distracted. You knew that his eyes would stop the world around you, let alone cause you to fumble over your words. Thankfully Evelyn was taking the lead on this meeting. You were there just to hear the ideas, figure out a timeline to complete this project, and see what Evelyn has in store for you.

“First off, thank you Scott for reaching out to us with the idea of writing this children’s book. When we saw your video explode on social media, I don’t think we ever imagined that this project would happen. I was excited to get your call.”

“Well we need to thank you in return Evelyn, and your team, for being willing to meet with us so quickly to get the ball rolling. The timing couldn’t be more perfect for us to work on this book and I know that we have lots of ideas to comb through. Hopefully we won’t be too much of a pain!”

Everyone around the table had a good laugh at Scott’s comment. You couldn’t help but look up at Chris at that moment as you heard his laugh. A smile grew on his face as your eyes met.

“I don’t want to speak for Chris, but I know this was something that I have always wanted to do. This is a memory that we can make together as brothers.”

“I have to agree with Scott. There is a lot of work ahead of us and I know the both of us are keen on getting this done. I just have one question.”

“I will try my best to answer.” Of course Evelyn would have an answer for Chris. She was the ultimate decision maker who wanted to please her clients. This was not that time to disappoint anyone.

“Is it possible to incorporate a charity component to the sales of this book?”

Of course he asked such a question. It melted your heart. You heard that he was a kind heart guy, and now you believe it from the one simple request he made.

“We sure can. You just let us know who you would like the proceeds to go to, and we will do the rest for you!”

“Thank you Evelyn. That was the most important part to me, to really seal the deal. Scott and I will have some discussion about who we would like to work with. I have a few ideas already, but I want the both of us to be on the same page.”

“I agree with Chris. So how do we move forward, Evelyn?”

“Ultimately, we will work with your schedule.”

“Alright! I know that we probably have to work out some kind of timeline for this to be completed. I have already checked with my agent and my schedule is clear for at least the next three to four weeks. Obviously we have never done this before. Does that seem like a reasonable amount of time?”

“We will work with your schedule. Knowing that you are free for the next few weeks Chris, we will start the project right away. Luckily, we have planned for Y/N to be in town for the duration of the project, so she will be available throughout the process.”

“Oh, you don’t live in Manhattan Y/N?” Even though Scott knew exactly where you live, he wanted to sound a little clueless and curious.

“As much as Manhattan feels like home to me now, Vancouver is my hometown. The team has welcomed me with open arms and Evelyn has been kind enough to set up an office for me here for the duration of my stay.”

“That’s great. Who knows, maybe this city will become your home one day. I hope it’s not all work and no play for you the duration of this trip though. By the way, we are excited that you agreed to come on board with this project, right Chris?” Scott nudged Chris out of a daze that you clearly could see and sense from across the table.

“Oh…yes! I…I mean we are excited to be working with you. Hopefully Scott doesn’t drive you crazy.”

“Hey!!!” Scott punched Chris is the arm.

The grin on your face grew as you watched these brothers being typical brothers. You could see their bond was strong. It reminded you of your relationship with your brother. Gone are the days when you would beat up on each other. You couldn’t help but think of what your brother’s reaction would be if he found out what was happening right now.

“So how about we kick things off tomorrow? Y/N you can meet with Scott and Chris for your initial creative session. I have booked out this conference room for the remainder of the week, so the three of you can start brainstorming. And I will have the contract to you two later today” Your head was spinning as Evelyn proposed the start of the project. You were not prepared to spend every moment with Chris so sudden. Really this was the ideal situation. How was this even possible?

“This sounds great! We will be here at 9am. We will bring the breakfast.” Scott was enthusiastic about the start of this project, but he looked forward to the moment they left the building as he knew his brother was about to burst at the seams. “We thank you again Evelyn. And Y/N, we will see you tomorrow morning. I warn you now; I don’t know how much a morning person my brother is.”

“I will make sure there is lots of coffee to fuel us, most specifically Chris.”

You found it hard to believe that Chris wasn’t a morning person, considering the early hour that you met him in the park. Who were you to argue with Scott though, as you didn’t want Evelyn to find out about the chance encounter that Chris and you had just a week prior. Everyone stood up and made their way from the table towards the door. Secretly you didn’t want him to leave. You tried to think of something that would stop him and encourage him to stay just a little longer.

“Wait! I should give you both my business card. If you happen to be running late, just let me know!” You handed a card to both Scott and Chris. In your mind, you hoped that Chris would use this as a way to reach out to you, not just for business reasons.

“Good thinking. Thank you Y/N. We will see you tomorrow morning.” Chris’ hand touched yours again as you handed the card over to him, causing the sparks to fly. You brought yourself to look him in the eyes, even though you were intimidated by the smile he still had. He made you smile.

You watched them walk away as the chatter from behind you grew. Just as you turned to return to your spot in the conference room, you see Chris as the end of the hallway turn to see if you were still there. You smiled and lazily waved bye to him. You instantly felt stupid for waving as you wondered how stupid you looked doing it.

************************************************************************

The day flew by and exhaustion set in as you arrived back at your hotel room. After being in meetings with Evelyn all day, you couldn’t wait to tell Haley about what happened. It was the perfect evening to grab take out from the deli around the corner from the hotel, for dinner in bed. You crawled into bed, with the buffet laid out in front of you as you quickly dialed Haley, hoping that she would answer. You needed to process the day, as it still seemed like a dream.

“Why aren’t you out on the town right now?”

“I am not in any state to be out and about tonight?”

“Rough day?” Haley knew exactly what happened today, thanks to the play by play from Scott. She was hoping that you would have told her you were getting ready for some fancy date with Chris, but played dumb by asking if you about your day.

“No? I don’t think I can classify it as that. You are never going to believe what I am about to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Chris. He is my new client.”

“As in THE Chris?” Good thing Haley could cover up the sarcastic tone in her voice with enthusiasm and shock. She was a really good actress.

“Yes that Chris. Hales, it was so hard to sit across the table from him. I am slated to work with him for the next three to four weeks.”

“This is a dream come true, isn’t it?”

“Yes and no. I don’t know how to deal with this Hales. He is within reach and I am acting like a stupid teenager.”

“Just be yourself Y/N. He is probably in just as much shock as you. I can only imagine that he is sitting in his home or hotel room trying to process everything with his brother.”

“You are right. Wait…..how do you know that his brother is with him?”

Haley needed to cover up the knowledge she had, as Scott has just texted her prior to you calling.

“I follow Scott on Instagram. He posted about being in the city, so I made the assumption that they are hanging out together.”

“Yah, they are both my client. Chris is writing the children’s book with Scott.”

“That will be so much fun! Maybe Scott will make it easier to hang out around Chris. He can lessen the tension between you and Chris.” As Haley continued talking to you, she texted Scott asking him to help you out tomorrow, because she knew you were going to be a nervous wreck.

So, Y/N is going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow. Can you work your magic and ease things a little?

************************************************************************

Chris paced back and forth in the hotel room, scratching at his facial hair. He did this when he was nervous or unsure of things he could not control. His afternoon was occupied with production meetings, which kept his mind from constantly thinking about you. Yet there he was, thinking about you. Scott had just returned from getting take out for the both of them.

“Have you worn out the carpet yet?”

Chris stopped to actually look down to the carpet, wondering if he actually did wear things down.

“Nope, not yet! You realize I am not going to sleep tonight. She has been on my mind all week, and now she is within reach and I don’t know what to do. I feel like a stupid middle school boy that doesn’t know how to talk to his crush!”

“When was the last time you felt like this?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I have ever felt like this.”

“Just be yourself then.”

“But what if she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings that I am having?”

“Just take a chance. I have a good feeling about this.” Just then Scott received a text. Looking at his phone, it was Haley. The two of them hadn’t stopped conversing since the meeting this morning. To distract Chris from the texting, Scott quickly unpacked all the food from the paper bags. “Here, let’s get some food into you.” As he motioned Chris to come get food, he pulled out his phone to read the message from Haley.

So, Y/N is going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow. Can you work your magic and ease things a little?

Scott responded quickly.

I will try my best. Chris is a wreck already. He is worried that Y/N won’t have the same feelings for him. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. It could be an interesting day. Ps. How the heck are we going to keep this secret up?

************************************************************************

You laid in the massive king size bed, staring at the ceiling. It was shortly after 1:00am and you had given up on the idea that you would get any sleep. You learned to sleep with your phone on the other side of the room, so you couldn’t press snooze on the alarm. As you struggled to sleep, you needed something mindless to help pass the time, and hopefully help you fall into a deep slumber. You crawled out of bed to grab your phone from the desk. You had a couple of notifications for work emails and social media updates from your friends. There was also a text from a number that didn’t look familiar. Unsure of who this text was from, you click to open and read it.

I saw the weather for tomorrow. You might need an umbrella :)

Your heart skipped a beat. The time stamp indicated that he had texted 20 minutes earlier. Clearly Chris was having troubles sleeping as well. You wanted so badly to text him back, but knew that you should keep things professional. You read the text over and over again, like it was the first time you were reading it. You loved that he referenced the first time he met you. You also loved that he was looking out for you.

You typed out a few words in response, but deleted them as quickly as they filled the screen.

It must have been his words that calmed your nerves, as your eyes got heavy reading his message a hundred times over. You eye lids became heavy and the phone fell from your hand onto the pillow beside you.

************************************************************************

Though the hours of sleep were short, you felt energized for the day. You took extra time prepping as you woke before your alarm went off. You were making sure that you were feeling confident and cute. With Chris’ recommendation running through your mind all morning, you looked out the window and saw that rain started to fall. You brought the umbrella that he had given you, on the rare chance that you would run into him and give it back. You didn’t want to give it back though. You saw this as a memento from the day you met him. You checked the time on your phone to make sure that you were still on time. His text from the night before almost haunted you. Now was maybe the time to text him back.

Thanks for the heads up. Does this mean I need to return it to you? See you soon! Ps. How much coffee will you require this morning? ;)

With that response, it was probably about that time that you should head out to make that coffee that you promised. As you ran out the door with the umbrella in hand, you gave yourself one last once over in the mirror to make sure that you were looking as good as you were feeling.

“Guess what Y/n, this is no longer a dream. You got this.”

************************************************************************

Chris admittedly was not typically a morning person. Today was a different day. He was up before his alarm went off. He had finished up all his emails before Scott even woke up. His thoughts of Y/N did this to him. He was anticipating the moment he would get to see her again. He also had to make a conscience effort not to check his phone every two minutes to see if she has responded to his message from the night before. For a moment he had second guessed himself and even sending a message at all, especially that late at night.

Noticing that his brother was still sound asleep, he grabbed a pillow from his bed and flung it at his head, in hopes that it would startle him awake.

“Get up! We are going to be late!” Chris lied in that moment just to see what Scott’s reaction would be.

“Lies. My alarm hasn’t gone off yet. Now f*** off.”

“Good morning to you too. To let enjoy your beauty sleep, I will go and pick up the breakfast we promised to take to the office.”

“Okamph donmmph forgmph frugmph.” Scott’s response was muffled by the pillows that he covered his head with, in anger that his brother thought it was a good idea to wake him up.

“Ahhh, yes. I completely understood that. See you at the office.”

Chris had some eagerness in his step, as he grabbed his messenger bag and ran out the door to catch the elevator. He anticipated seeing Y/N, so much so that there seemed to be a permanent smile on his face. As the door slide open on the elevator to welcome him on, a young family with two small boys stared at him as their jaws dropped open.

“Good morning crew!” As he entered the elevator he approached the young boys and gave them both a high five. He was even beginning to question his own enthusiasm first thing in the morning. As they arrived to the lobby, the younger of the two boys used great confidence to ask Chris for a photo. This kid pulled at his heart strings that he couldn’t resist being able to fulfill such a request. Just as the three of them got into place to take the photo, Chris looked up to see a woman walking through the lobby, clearly on a mission to get somewhere. His heart stopped for a moment and he tried to remain focused on taking this photo. He was pretty sure that it was Y/N heading out the revolving door. He wanted to chase after her, but did want to break the hearts of the boys. As they finished up the photo and went on their way, Chris was quick to run out the lobby to see if he could see Y/N. She was nowhere to be seen, especially in the sea of umbrellas covering the people rushing off to work.

“Why did I have to have a black umbrella?” He stood there staring down the sea of black umbrellas, with a bit of disappointment. As everyone rushed by him on the sidewalk, Chris grabbed his phone to see that he missed a text from her.

Thanks for the heads up. Does this mean I need to return it to you? See you soon! Ps. How much coffee will you require this morning? ;)

Of course his smile grew when he read her response.

Keep it! It’s my gift to you. Too bad I didn’t buy a replacement though...I might need a towel along with a very large cup of coffee when I get to the office. See you soon!

As he pressed send on his response, the rain suddenly started to come down a little heavier. In that moment though, he didn’t mind one bit. A little bit of rain wasn’t going to ruin his day.

#Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n

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doubleleoenergy · 3 years

Text

IV; BLUE BAYOU SERIES

Oh that boy of mine, by my side. The silver moon and the evening tide.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: TFAWS!Sam Wilson x fem!Reader

Summary: Sam and y/n build furniture and decorate his home now that y/n has moved in.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY; oral (male receiving), face-fucking, Daddy kink, spanking, LOTS of dirty talk, basically plot at the beggining section and PORN at the end.

Word Count: 4553

Author’s Notes: This just proves that 1) Sam and Bucky are the bestest of friends, 2) Bucky has got someone on the brain, and 3) I am a whore for Daddy Sam.

Two weeks after their bedroom escapade y/n tugs nervously on the end of her cream-colored cardigan, biting her lip. She’s finally finished getting ready in Sam’s bedroom, having tried on multiple outfits for him to choose between before settling on the pale blue floral print fit and flare dress, cream cardigan, and white strappy wedges. Her curls lay tousled down her back, her face fresh with a light coating of mascara and her favorite coconut flavored Chapstick upon her lips.

Today was very important, well, at least SHE felt it was important. Sam and y/n were going out to lunch to meet Bucky, his best friend and work partner. She’d heard plenty of stories about the ‘white wolf’ as Sam teasingly referred to him, had been briefed on his vibranium arm and to not be worried if he looks like he’s constantly pissed off, it was just his RESTING face.

“You look beautiful.” Sam came up behind her as y/n put her gold hoops in her ears, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the exposed skin at her collarbone. “If Bucky wasn’t such a stickler on meeting at noon, I’d strip you down…do those things with my tongue that drive you WILD…” A moan slips from y/n’s lips, turning around in his grip to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Well maybe if I don’t embarrass myself in front of Bucky, we can do all of that when we get back.” She plants a quick kiss to his lips, moving over to the bed to grab her crossbody brown purse.

“You’re not going to EMBARRASS yourself. Bucky is cool, and he’ll love you.” Well, he was cool NOW. Ever since their mission in New York and the cookout back in Louisiana that Sam invited Bucky to things had been MUCH better. Sam moved to the dresser to grab his wallet and his keys, stepping back over to grab y/n’s hand with his free one.

“I mean it, don’t worry. Besides, I didn’t even particularly LIKE Bucky until a few months ago, you’ve got no need to feel any pressure to impress him.” He plants one more kiss to her lips, tugging her towards the front door to get into his truck.

When they arrived at their favorite diner Bucky was already inside, sitting down at their usual booth in the back corner. He had tossed aside his leather jacket next to him, his eyes scanning over the menu as if he didn’t already know what to order.

The door to the diner chimed as they walked through, Bucky turning around with a smile when he noticed Sam. “You’re a minute LATE.” He announced, holding up his phone to show him the time. Technology was sweet now that he had it at his fingertips. Sam rolled his eyes, walking forward and embracing Bucky in a hug, patting his back as he did so.

“A minute is NOTHING, but I guess I should know better than to keep an old man waiting.” The two laughed together, letting go of the embrace before Sam motions for y/n to move next to him. “Bucky, this is my girlfriend, y/n. Y/N this is Bucky.”

Y/N watches as Bucky sticks out his hand for her to shake, the non-vibranium hand that is. She takes it in her small one, giving it a good motion up and down. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam has told me so much about you.” She chirps, finally taking in his features. His eyes were a DAZZLING blue, his smile wide, and his brows thick. He wore a grey t-shirt that looked a little too tight, showing off his muscular frame through the thin fabric. His vibranium arm, the one that Sam mentioned, was completely exposed but seemed to fit in with the rest of his appearance.

“Likewise, sometimes I have to tell Sam to shut the HELL up so we can actually get some work done.” He teased, letting go of her hand.

Bucky motions for them to sit, sliding back into his side of the booth with Sam and y/n sliding in across from him. As soon as they did a PERKY blonde waitress walked over, flashing a bright smile at all of them before settling her gaze on Bucky. It was clear she thought he was attractive, keeping her eyes on him as she pulled out her pad of paper.

“Hello, my name is MARISSA.” She gushed, tilting forward ever so slightly to expose her chest to Bucky. He paid no attention though, his eyes typing away at his phone.

“Black coffee, short stack of pancakes, side of bacon please.” He slid his menu towards her direction and she quickly jotted it down, a blush appearing on her cheeks. Bucky kept his eyes still on his phone.

“R-right, okay and uh, and what can I get ya’ll?” She finally looks at them and y/n can see a twinge of embarrassment on her face for having been ignored by the chiseled man.

“I’ll have the breakfast burrito with an extra side of sausage and a coffee with vanilla creamer please.” Sam responds, plopping his menu on top of Bucky’s. Y/N scans the menu once more, turning her attention to the waitress. “I’ll have the Belgian waffle with strawberries please, and a glass of water.”

Marissa finishes jotting down their order, grabbing the menus and then looking once more at Bucky, a slight frown on her face, before walking away. Bucky finishes up whatever he was doing on his phone, setting it upside down on the table and moving his attention back to the pair in front of him.

“So, y/n, I heard you moved from Colorado. How are you liking it here during the summer heat?” Y/n tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, placing her hands in her lap. “It’s been great so far, it’s an interesting little town. PLUS, I have this guy by my side.” She playfully nudges Sam, eliciting a laugh from his lips.

He moves his hand to hers, gripping it under the table. “Sam says you two have a lot of fun together on your missions, do you have a uniform like him?” Bucky laughs, making his nose scrunch up on his face. “No, that’s BIRD-BRAIN’S thing.” He teases. “I’m what they call a super soldier, that makes me SO much cooler than Sam.” Another joke. Y/N seems to think this is a good sign. “But yeah, we do have a lot of fun on our missions. Some are harder than others of course, but we haven’t died so far.”

Marissa comes back with the men’s coffee and y/n’s water, eyes flickering towards Bucky again. He finally acknowledges her presence, eyes finding her nametag against her shirt. “Thank you, Marissa.” He affirmed. She walked away, giddy that Bucky said her name, as both men take a sip from their mugs.

“Well, whatever you do I’m sure it’s very important. Sam sounds lucky to have you.” She quipped. They seemed like a natural pair, their personalities seemed to mesh, ESPECIALLY their sarcasm.

“Y/N is pretty impressive too; she’s got her PhD in sociology and teaches at Northwood.” Sam adds, a proud smile on his face. Being with her made him look BETTER and FEEL better, and he loved being able to show her and all her accomplishments off. A deep blush creeps over her cheeks at his words, squeezing his hand under the table.

“Well that IS impressive, congratulations. Sociology seems like an interesting topic to teach. Are you a harsh professor?” Bucky questioned, raising a thick eyebrow in her direction. Y/N shakes her head, she DEFINITELY wasn’t a stickler like some of her colleagues.

“No, not harsh at all. I believe it’s important to get students PASSIONATE about what they learn in order bring awareness and CHANGE. I teach three different courses: Social Inequality, Racism and Inequality, and Toolkit for Activism and Advocacy. We have our required midterm and final, but most of the time is filled with lectures, documentaries, and discussions on the topics we cover.” Her eyes light up with passion as she talks, and it makes Sam’s heart flutter. Even Bucky seems to be enthralled listening to her.

“Well, if I were a student, I’d take one of your classes for SURE.” Their conversation is interrupted briefly by Marissa dropping off their plates, trying to get Bucky to notice her again but with no success. They start to chow down on their food, the sounds of forks and knives moving, and mugs being picked up and put down being the only sounds at their table. Eventually as their stomachs start to fill the silence ends, talking about some of Sam and Bucky’s favorite missions, what y/n’s favorite books were, and even their shared connection to the armed forces.

They finally finish devouring their brunch and Bucky sits back against his booth, arms spreading out over the back of it. Marissa finally drops off their checks, trying ONE last time to get Bucky’s attention but he’s distracted in conversation with Sam about their next meeting with Torres. Sam INSISTS on paying for y/n’s meal along with his own, and y/n decides not to protest this time. She’d get the next one.

Bucky pulls a wad of bills from his wallet, setting down enough to pay for the food and a tip before he stands up, pulling his leather jacket on over his tight grey shirt. They all thank Marissa on their way passed her to move out the door, the familiar chime going off as they step outside into the bright sunshine. Sam turns to face Bucky once more to give him a final hug.

“I’ll see you next week, noon on the DOT.” Bucky mumbles, and Sam can’t help but laugh, stepping back so that y/n can say her goodbye to him as well. Before y/n can decide whether it would be awkward to shake hands again or just nod in his direction, Bucky pulls her into his side for a hug, using his vibranium arm.

“It was great to meet you, y/n. I hope that Sam doesn’t keep you to himself forever, I’d love for us all to go out to a bar or something next time.” Bucky lets go of her side and y/n takes a step back, grabbing Sam’s hand in hers. “It was GREAT to meet you too. And sounds good, first rounds on me when we do.” She agreed.

Bucky turns with a quick wave of his hand, the couple turning in the opposite direction to head to Sam’s truck. The walk is short, and Sam moves instinctively to open y/n’s door before hopping in the driver’s side and starting it up.

“Well that wasn’t so bad was it?” He asked, his hand settling to grip her thigh as he drove.

“No, not at all. He seems like an awesome guy. I’m sure it’s nice to work with someone you’re close with.” Her eyes turn to look up at him, head resting back on her seat. God, she’s so smitten with him and it’s only been two weeks. He checked every box, even checking boxes she didn’t even know NEEDED to be checked.

He squeezes her thigh, teasing her slightly. He cannot WAIT to get home and tear off that short little dress of hers. “Yeah it is nice, although, did you notice how HARD that waitress was trying to get his attention? I mean, usually Bucky is all sorts of flirty but today there was nothing.”

They both laughed, y/n moving her hand to turn the volume up on Sam’s Marvin Gaye CD. She had taken quite a liking to his taste in music since they started seeing each other.

“It was SUPER obvious. I wonder why he didn’t flirt back.”

The past two weeks were a blur, Sam having gone on another mission and y/n finishing up with midterms for her summer classes. In their spare time, y/n INSISTED that Sam needed to make his place more of a HOME.

When Sam decided to move back to Louisiana, he had managed to buy a small two-bedroom, two-bathroom house a few miles down the road from Sarah’s place. After years in the service and moving back to civilian life, Sam still struggled with really making his place feel like home. Now that y/n was spending the night more often, enjoying the quiet that his house brought over the loud family that lived above her apartment, they felt it was time to UPGRADE.

Last week had been spent picking between paint swatches and painting the different rooms in Sam’s house, stopping frequently for some HOT sex on the hardwood floor. Sam had his bedroom furniture but was still missing living room furniture, kitchen furniture, and décor to tie it all together. At least, that’s how y/n put it.

They had just finished up their shopping adventure at IKEA, Home Goods, and Target, truck bed loaded with STUFF. Probably more stuff than they needed but y/n would make sure to return what they didn’t want.

“You know I’ll have to put together that kitchen table, chairs, AND the coffee table when we get back right? And the couch from Home Goods won’t even be delivered until Sunday.” Y/N smiles, rolling down the window and sticking her hand out, feeling the hot sun and the cool breeze on her skin.

“That’s fine, you can put that all together while I decorate everything.” She was excited, Sam was totally fine with letting her have control of the colors and patterns, really EVERYTHING.

Within a few minutes they had pulled up to the front of the house, Sam opening the bed of the truck so he can start grabbing the items. Y/N grabs a few of the bags, Sam shaking his head at her. “I told you, you don’t need to carry anything in, I got this.” Her brows furrow, setting the bags in her hands down in the empty space of the living room and following Sam back out the door for another load. “I’m COMPLETELY capable of carrying some of these. Besides, I have to catch up to YOUR physicality still.”

Sam laughs, tugging her against his waist and kissing her passionately. “You don’t need to catch up, your body is already HEAVENLY as it is.” He should have used the word SINFUL instead, the things she did to him. He shakes his head to get the thought out of his mind, grabbing the box with the parts to the table and carrying it over his shoulder.

Once they finished unloading the truck Sam got to work putting together the coffee table while y/n emptied the items from the bags, sorting them on the floor for the areas they would go in. She took the different canvas pictures they had picked, holding them against the wall of the living room to decide where she wanted to hang them. Once deciding on the perfect spots, y/n grabbed the step stool, nails, and hammer and got to work. The canvas pictures they chose for the living room were an ombre style of blues that would pop well against the cream-colored wall.

After they were hung, she stood back, closing one eye and then the next to check on their levels. “What do you think?” She asked, turning to Sam for approval. He had made quick work of the coffee table, screwing in the last few spots and jiggling it to check its sturdiness. “The table’s done.” Sam stood up and eyed the paintings, nodding his head. “Those look PERFECT there. I’m going to move on to the kitchen table and chairs while you work in here.” He placed a quick kiss to her cheek before moving into the space of the kitchen, opening the box and laying out all his parts.

With the coffee table done, y/n moved all the items purchased to the far side of the room, giving her plenty of space to roll out the new navy colored rug for the area. She made sure it was flattened properly before dragging over the coffee table, carefully setting it on top. Once she’s finished, she fans the coasters they had purchased on the table before moving to look through the other décor pieces they’d chosen.

Y/N was having so much fun letting her creativity out. It wasn’t long before she was moving all over the rooms, placing a framed picture of his nephews here and another framed picture of him and y/n there. It was all coming together, throw pillows added to the bed with a few others set aside for when the couch would arrive, more picture frames with photos Sam had chosen of family and friends scattered throughout the house. New rugs, shower curtains, and towels in both bathrooms.

While Sam finished up the last chair for the dining set y/n put together a floor lamp for the living room, moving the other side lamp to the bedroom before walking around each space and making sure everything was in its proper place. There were a few items she had chosen for the space that didn’t quite work once she finished including another colorful canvas, a fake potted plant, and some extra throw pillows that she didn’t end up liking for the bedroom. Those were put away in a bag by the door waiting to be returned.

“Babe, what do you think?” She turns her head in Sam’s direction, calling for him to look at what she’s done while he busy was putting the furniture together. Sam brushes off his hands, standing up and walking from room to room inspecting her work. He had to admit, the place looked MUCH better. The best touch was all the framed photos y/n had printed and scattered throughout the house. With the changes she had made it really DID feel like a home.

Sam moved last into the living room where y/n stood, taking in the rest of the décor. “I…” He cleared his throat, hand nervously scratching at the back of his neck. He hadn’t felt this before, this PERMANANCE. The house was the first step, the roots that were grounding him here, and now everything seemed right. Even his old place that he’d been in when Steve and Natasha first visited him hadn’t made him feel like this, feel this HAPPY to be in his space.

“I love it, I can’t thank you enough for all of this.” She can tell he’s holding back tears as he speaks and she shushes him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

“Hey, it’s OKAY. I’m just happy you like it. I know how hard it is to make a place feel like home.” Growing up after her dad passed NOTHING really felt like home. Colorado was the closest she came to that, but it still wasn’t the same feelings she had when she was little and her father was still alive.

Sam wrapped his arms around her waist, bending his head down to nuzzle against her neck. “Of course I like it, I love everything you do. I love…” He trails off, moving his head back up to meet her gaze.

“Baby I…I LOVE you. And I don’t want to be afraid to say it. I want you to know that and I want you to know that this is your space too.” Y/N’s cheeks hurt from how big she was smiling at his words. “I love you TOO. So much Sam.”

He clears his throat, a hand coming up to rest on her cheek. “Which is why I was hoping that maybe you would be interested in getting out of your lease a bit early to…move in with me?” He doesn’t know what the point would be of setting up the house to be a HOME without her in it. He wanted it to be their home, together.

“I-Of course I want to move in. I mean, yes, I will.” She laughs, pulling him in for a kiss. His hands move under her ass, scooping her up in his arms. He was so HAPPY, their lips dancing along each other’s as they continued to kiss, his teeth jutting out to bite down on her bottom lip, eliciting a moan from her.

“How about we make sure that kitchen table is STURDY?” He asks, moving his lips to pepper kisses down her neck. He walks towards the table, y/n still in his arms, setting her ass down on the top he had just built. The table stays still under here weight, her fingers moving down to the hem of his shirt to pull it off. She trails her nails down his chest, marking the skin gently and watching as the marks faded.

“Baby, you always do so much for me, want to make you feel GOOD.” She scoots back against the table, looking at him with lustful eyes. “Strip for me please.” Sam does as he’s told, tugging down his jeans and boxers and kicking them across the floor.

“You always make me feel good.” He responds, licking his lips. He watches her as she slips out of her tiny jean shorts and panties, tugging her coral tank top over her head. She slowly unhooks her bra, tossing it aside, leaving her naked on the table, THEIR table.

“I know, but I want to thank you for how well you treat me, want to show you how much I LOVE you.” It felt good to say it, as she had been wanting to since meeting Bucky two weeks ago. His eyes rake over her body as she moves her back flat against the table, her head moving to hang off the side towards. “Want you to use me, Daddy.” She purred, her voice dripping with desire saying the nickname he LOVED in bed. “Please come fuck my face Daddy.”

Sam groans, his cock twitching and erect against his chest. She was splayed out on the table, head back and ready for him to FUCK. He moves closer to her, stroking his cock until it was inches from her face. “Open your mouth baby.” She does as she’s told opening wide as she feels his cock sliding in inch by inch. Her head is throbbing a bit from hanging upside down, but she didn’t CARE. His sliding inward stops when he hears her gag around him, moving out so just the tip rested on her lips.

“Shh, baby, relax your throat, let Daddy all the way in.” Y/N takes a deep breath, opening her mouth wider for him to push inside, enveloping him with her lips. SLOWLY, continuing to breathe, she feels him bottom out at the back of her throat, a groan of approval leaving his mouth.

He picks up a slow rhythm at first, pulling back so just the tip is in her mouth before shoving his cock all the way in the back of her throat, watching how he looked all the way down her throat. “Fuck baby, that mouth is PHENOMENAL.” Sam picks up his pace again, his balls slapping on her nose as her saliva drips out of her mouth and onto the floor.

“Put your hands on your pussy baby, want you to play with yourself while I USE you.” She moans around his cock, her hand moving down to her core, rubbing her fingers against that perfect bundle of nerves. Sam watches her, slowing his motions slightly. “Fuck yourself on your fingers baby, want you to warm yourself up for Daddy’s cock.”

Her fingers move between her lips, pushing inside the wetness. She adjusts to them before pumping them in and out, continuing to lap at Sam’s cock that is now hanging above her mouth. Sam watches for a few moments, loving the way she’s splayed out for him on their new kitchen table.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking pretty, I can hear how wet you are while you’re fucking yourself.” He moves his cock straight down her throat one last time, causing her to cough before he pulls completely out and steps back. “Get up and turn AROUND, put your ass in the air on the edge of the table.”

Y/N rolls her body over, saliva dripping down her face and neck as she did. She turns around, backing up until her ass is high in the air, feet hanging just slightly over the edge. “Yes Daddy.”

Sam moves forward, gripping her ass in his hand before giving the tanned skin a spank, y/n letting out a small whine at the pain. “Look at that pussy, so wet. Do you want my COCK inside you baby?” He teases his cock against her folds, a shiver of pleasure running down her spine.

“Fuck, yes Daddy please, want you to fill me FULL of your cock.” Sam smirks, one hand resting on her back, the other guiding his cock inside of her until he bottoms out. A groan escapes his lips, pulling his cock out of her pussy before slamming back into her again.

He continues to fuck her, a slew of cuss words and thank you leaving her slips. Sam moves one hand up her back, fingers gripping a fistful of her hair and pulling her head back and her face up off the table. “Oh my god.” She cries out, eyes rolling back into her head. He’s pushing in and pulling out of her core, tugging her head back with each thrust.

“That’s it baby, you look so PRETTY on my cock, god I love you so much.” She whines again and he pulls her hair harder with another TUG. “Fucking you stupid huh? Are you becoming stupid on my cock, can’t even speak?” He pulls her head back, lips inches from her ear. “You’re Daddy’s dumb baby, aren’t you?” That familiar feeling inside her chest is building up, her breathing ragged. “Yes, Daddy, I’m your dumb baby, please let me cum. PLEASE.”

He lets go of her hair, letting her body fall back onto the table. “Yes, baby cum for me. Show Daddy HOW much you love him.” Within seconds her orgasm is ripping through her body, walls clenching tight onto his cock and she comes undone. “Yes, thank you Daddy!” He fucks her until her body calms down from her orgasm, pulling out and spanking her ass once more.

“Get down on your knees for me baby, want to cum inside that pretty MOUTH.” Y/N moves down off of the table, getting onto her knees in front of him and opening her mouth wide, sticking out her tongue. Sam moves right above her, stroking himself until he comes, coating her mouth and tongue with his stickiness. “Fuck, you can swallow baby.” She shuts her mouth, swallowing down the salty cum before he pulls on her chin, instructing her to get up.

When she does Sam immediately wraps his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “You’re SO sexy. I love YOU.” He proclaims, fingers running through her hair. She curls into him, letting out a breathy laugh. “I love you too.” She looks back at the table then back up at him with a smile on her face.

“Guess the table’s sturdy enough.”

#sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x reader smut #sam wilson smut #sam wilson #marvel #marvel fic #marvel smut #blue bayou series #doubleleoenergyworks

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matrixreimagined · 3 years

Text

The Dream Chronicles

Chapter Four on A03

or read it here!

Neo felt the pseudo-wind whip around him as he floated upwards almost leisurely until he was taller than any of the skyscrapers around him. The city scape spread out as far as the eye could see. In the distance, he could see mountains encased by a blue sky. A blue sky that had long ago been scorched.

He slowed down. It was like a video game. It wasn’t really him that was moving—it was his surroundings. He stilled, for a moment, taking it all in.

All that he had thought was real, just an elaborate dream.

All that he had thought was a dream, it was real. And it was waiting for him on the other side of the screen. The thought brought a smile to his lips as he looked down.

Trinity and Morpheus were only dots in the distance.

He began the descent, noting how his jacket billowed. Neo rolled in the air to face down as he soared back to the opposite rooftop before pulling upright to land on his feet next to Trinity.

Morpheus’ eyes were wide as he stared at Neo with something akin to awe.

"Already," Morpheus said, "already you can control your descent and trajectory?"

Neo looked at Trinity, unsure of what to say. Her hard gaze softened when they met his, but she still appeared tense. She flipped out a phone and hit the connect button.

"Tank, take us out," she said, and Neo felt the code around him burst bit by bit. And then his vision changed. Instead of Morpheus and Trinity, he was staring up at a metal ceiling lined with wires and tubes.

Apoc was by his side, quick to unplug him.

Neo sat up. The crew stood gathered at the console but were looking at him with a reverence that he recognized from his dreams. It had always made him uncomfortable but now it was overwhelming.

"If you all aren’t actually doing anything, go to bed." Trinity was already on her feet. Her tone brooked no room for argument and, immediately, Mouse, Switch, Apoc, Cypher and Dozer trailed off. "Morpheus, the office."

Trinity turned on her heel, crossing the main deck.

With a last, awe-filled look at Neo, Morpheus followed.

Neo glanced between the door they had gone through and the operator before asking, "I don't have to go with them, do I?"

"Nah, this is between them. She's scary when she's angry."

Neo laughed, stifling a yawn as he swung his legs over the chair. "You don't have to tell me."

Tank nodded, a smirk on his lips. "I’m Tank, by the way."

Neo blinked at him, surprised at the introduction, and then he remembered. He knew them. They didn’t know him.

And he wasn’t even sure if he did know them. It was all so confusing and, aside from Trinity, he wasn’t sure what and who he could trust.

Ghosts and shadows, he thought back to his conversation with Trinity earlier. Close to reality but not quite real.

He glanced back to the door. He needed her. To talk with her. To figure things out. Just to be by her side while he thought through shit.

He noticed that Tank was still looking at him and it occurred to him that he hadn’t actually responded to the introduction. "Right. I’m Neo."

"Good to meet you. Officially. Given the dreams, and all."

Neo nodded, reaching a hand up to rub at his eyes. It still boggled the mind.

"You feeling okay?"

"Tired," Neo said. "My body feels like I was really fighting Morpheus."

"Your mind makes it real. As far as your brain is concerned, you just went three rounds with Morpheus and then pulled that superman shit in the jump program."

"Superman thing?"

"You know, making a mockery of the fact everyone fails the first jump by floating and flying over the gap like it was nothing." Tank grinned before adding, "That ain't normal, Messiah."

"Which is why Morpheus was pushing."

"Yep. You'd still be in there if Trin hadn't gone all mama bear. Looks like a good thing, too. You ain't going to pass out on me?"

Neo shook his head. "No, but can I lie down for a bit?"

"Go for it. Come find me whenever and I'll run you through some more trainings. You, uh, you remember your way around?"

Neo nodded, covering a yawn. "Yeah."

He pushed up from the chair and made his way towards the crew quarters, his mind barely registering where he was going. Step by step until he reached the door he recognized as his own. He pushed it open and kicked off his boots, eyes already starting to close. Asleep, the moment his head hit the pillow.

.......................................................

"He's the One!"

"I don't care! He is still human, Morpheus! We never, ever, start sparring the first day, regardless of what he already knew."

"He could fly."

"I was there, Morpheus. I saw it too. But you are so obsessed with the One, you're blinded to the fact that Neo is still human! He's barely woken up and you're acting like he's completed his training!"

"Did you see him in there, Trinity! What he's capable of? We don’t know his limits."

"And we won’t find them by breaking him! Jesus Christ, he isn’t a weapon. No matter the extent of his powers, he is still human!"

Morpheus regarded his first officer, seething before him. He shook his head, unable to understand.

"Not two months ago, you were completely against me trying to free him—said he was too old, that it was too much of a risk. Then a week later, you stopped arguing and started picking up shifts just to watch him— don’t deny it. I thought, maybe, you were beginning to see what I see. But you see something different when you look at him."

He wasn’t wrong but it was irrelevant.

"He’s a man, Morpheus. He still bleeds. Neo needs to be treated as such, not like some lost messiah."

"But that’s what he is."

"It’s not." It came out harsher than she intended. "He does not need to eat, sleep, and breathe being the One. He is so much more than that."

Morpheus closed his eyes, leaning against the desk. A sigh escaped him as the moment passed. Without opening his eyes, he spoke, "He woke up and said your name. When you weren’t there, he started ripping out his IVs. Dozer tried to block him at the door, and he started swinging." Morpheus shook his head. "He was so desperate to get to you. He recognizes the rest of us, but in that moment… I don’t know what he knows. I don’t even know what you know. But I will trust your judgement." Morpheus opened his eyes. "What do you propose we do?"

Trinity felt herself exhale. It wasn’t over, not by a longshot but the captain was listening. That was a start. A step in the right direction.

"Let him do his trainings, let him follow the course that any other redpill would take. Give him time to adjust—at least a week to catch his bearings and align the world from his dreams to the real world. Then we take him to the Oracle."

It was reasonable, neither could deny, even if they both disliked the proposed timeline. It still felt too short, but she could always push for more time if Neo needed it. By then, at least, they would know more.

Morpheus acquiesced with a nod. "We will start training tomorrow," he said, "but he will need to be tested eventually, Trinity. If that's what he's doing after an hour, imagine what he'll be like after a week."

And fuck, she knew that, too.

"I'm just asking for time."

"I'll allow it lest you take it anyway." Morpheus gave her a smile. "And perhaps, in time, you’ll be able to share with me whatever… whatever it is that is going on with you and Neo."

Trinity nodded gratefully and turned to leave. Her hand was on the door when Morpheus spoke again. "Trinity." She turned. "He’s lucky to have you."

The captain didn’t miss the way she flushed as she turned back to the door, not saying anything. She paused, taking a breath, before walking back out to the main deck.

Her eyes scanned the room. It seemed that everyone had followed her orders, at the very least. She had worried that they would have been too overcome with excitement, but the room was empty, save Tank sitting alone at the console.

Neo was nowhere to be seen.

She crossed to the operator, who glanced up as she walked over.

"Hey, mama bear."

"You’re hilarious," she said, although her face did not change. "Can I get a readout of his brain waves while he was in the Construct?"

"Already ahead of you. Sent a copy to both you and Morpheus. Should be on your scanner when you go back to your quarters."

Trin nodded. "You’re the best."

"That award might go to your boyfriend." Tank leaned back in the chair, as he recalled. "He didn’t even make the first jump… he fucking demolished it."

She sighed, moving to lean against the console desk. Her hand ran roughly through her hair. "He can fly."

"I thought Mouse was going to shit himself."

His words had the desired effect and Trinity cracked a grin. "How was Switch?"

"Got over excited and nearly broke one of the monitors. Christ, Trin, everyone was losing it on this side. What he knows already, what he’s been able to do. Even Cypher couldn’t begin to explain it. If all that dream shit wasn’t enough, no one who sees the readings of what just happened will be able to deny it."

"It hasn’t been more than two hours," Trinity said. "He barely has his footing in this world. Hasn’t even begun any sort of real world regimen, Tank."

"We’ll get him started. Between you and Apoc, you’ll bust him into shape in no time."

"I’m not worried about that. I know he’ll be fine. But he’s coming into this world with so many expectations on his shoulders. And we don’t even know how much he knows. Yes, he’s had dreams of this place but that doesn’t mean he’s outlined a path to destroy the Matrix."

"We’ll talk to him. We’ll find out what he knows and build from there. No one is asking him to destroy it tomorrow. He’s got time to figure it out."

She shook her head and said, "He’s not a weapon. He isn’t. And this is what I’m afraid of. When the Council gets a hold of him…"

"They won’t," Tank said, almost smirking. "You won’t let them."

Trinity stared at the operator before letting a small laugh escape. "True." She folded her arms over her chest. "But I can’t protect him from everything. Especially since…" she trailed off.

"You can say it." Tank’s expression was devoid of judgment and far too kind and understanding for her tastes. She preferred him when he was being a sarcastic little shit. "You can say that Neo is the One. With what we just saw, I’m not sure Lock himself would be able to deny it."

Trinity was saved from responding with the door to the office opening again, Morpheus exiting looking positively exhausted.

"Where’s Neo?" he asked without hesitation, finding only Trinity and Tank.

Tank answered, "Said he was feeling tired and asked to go lay down."

Morpheus nodded. "So you took him back to the infirmary?"

"He said he knew the way," Tank said.

"I’ll make sure he has blankets and is settled. Then I’m going to bed. I suggest you both do the same. The alarms will let us know if a sentinel comes close."

Trinity nodded, the lack of sleep catching up with her. "Will do."

"Good night, Captain my Captain." Tank watched as Morpheus left, waiting for the footsteps to fade. "Take it day by day," he advised. "It’s too much for any person to take in at once. I’m still reeling from what he knows. Morpheus is damn near going insane. I can’t even begin to imagine how this is for you."

She stared down at the ground, unable to deny how much Neo was affecting her. His presence, his knowledge. His confusion tugged at her heart strings and she felt torn between playing his fierce protector and picking up where they had left off earlier, before Apoc and Switch had interrupted and forced them to remember their surroundings.

It didn’t matter, she supposed.

Asleep, in the real world, Neo was shockingly safe. From Agents, from Morpheus, from his own curiosities. At least until morning.

"I’m not going to lie," she said finally. "I’m scared. For him. Of him. I’m not sure how to manage all of this. He talks to me like he knows me. And I find myself talking back, like I know him. But I don't. Today was the first day I spent with him awake for more than five minutes. And I keep reminding myself of that but, honestly, I don’t care. And then that scares me."

Tank nodded along. "You two… have something. Whether it’s based in dreams or not, you and Neo have something. And love, even just infatuation, can mess with the most put together person and tear them apart. And this is more than just that."

"I know."

"So, give yourself a break. No matter what happens with you and Neo, your life just changed dramatically. You’re allowed to take time to adjust."

"It just seems—"

"Tank!" Morpheus’ voice echoed from the hall into the main deck.

Trinity grimaced and Tank gave her a commiserating look as he shouted back, "Yeah?"

Morpheus crossed the threshold onto the deck. "He wasn't in the infirmary. Are you sure that's where he went?"

"He said he was going to lie down," said Tank, "and that's where I’d imagine he'd go. Did you check the crew quarters?"

"He wasn't in the one we assigned for him, nor any of the other empty ones."

Her heart stuttered as the obvious thought hit her. Swallowing, she asked, "Did you check my quarters?"

Morpheus and Tank both looked at her wide-eyed.

Keeping as blank a stare as she could, she reasoned, "We’ve established that he’s seen me naked. And he knows the book on my bedside table in Zion. I think it's safe to assume, if he's going off of memory, that he probably sleeps with me."

Tank was trying, desperately, to keep a straight face. She could see his lips twitching as he worked at stilling his features. It was a losing battle. Eventually, a giggle bubbled up. His hand went up to cover his mouth and Trinity resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Laugh it up," she said as Tank shifted into truly guffawing.

"Oh my god," he laughed, leaning back in the chair, "I’m sorry. But this…" The laughter continued and she caught Morpheus’ gaze.

She could see the confusion, the wonder in his eyes.

"Do you…" Morpheus’ face was reluctant, even as he made the offer, "do you want me to have him moved or…?"

She waved a hand. "It’s… fine. We’ll work it out, Neo and I. Whatever it is that’s going on, we need to be the ones to sort it out." Trinity gave him a small smile. "I’m going back to bed. I’ll see you all in the morning."

"Have fun!" Tank called, still laughing.

The walk to her quarters never seemed so long. She took a breath before opening the door, slowly as to avoid the creaking.

Sure enough, even in the dark, she could make out the lump on her bed that certainly wasn’t blankets.

Trin closed the door and toed off her boots and socks. The floor was cold beneath her bare feet. She paused for a moment, looking down at the man in front of her, nestled in the blankets, stirring ever so slightly.

Neo’s eyes flickered open and he inhaled. "Hey," he murmured.

"Hi," she replied softly, not wanting to disturb him.

Neo opened his blankets upwards, making room for her to climb in. She did so, settling in between his arms in a way that felt right. She closed her eyes as her head rested on his forearm and quickly drifted off into sleep.

#the matrix #the matrix fanfiction #matrix fanfiction #neo x trinity #neo (the matrix)#trinity (the matrix)

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