#idk basically what I’m trying to say is I have guilt but like there’s no reason to feel guilty

[norrizzandpia]

this might have to be more than one part, but can you please write a wrong number lando fic? like lando texts the wrong number somehow and they end up becoming good friends, they start falling for each other but lando lies about his identity the whole time until they meet or he tells the reader. and she’s pissed and she doesn’t know anything about f1 anyways so she doesn’t understand why he lied. with angst and stuff? idk if this is too specific or too much to ask!

Wrong Number, Right Person (LN4)

Summary: A wrong number leads Lando right to Y/n, but even the beautiful love they find together struggles to stand a chance against Lando’s lie of identity.

Warnings: none, BUT A HAPPY ENDING!!! Y/n’s bsf threatens to kill lando lol

Note: she is LONG! The word count is almost 9k oml but i have to say that @piastrification was a major help in making this because she read it for me and made it read less stupid! She also gave me some ideas so credit to her for that xx

If there was any moment where Y/n was beyond confused with absolutely no inkling of an answer, it was now. She stared down at her phone, clutching the device as she read over the message sitting on her Lock Screen over and over.

“What’s wrong?” Her best friend, Annie, asked. Her eyebrows were scrunched together in a way she had always done since they were kids, Y/n loved the way that had never changed. The two women had experienced so much growth over the years, but it was heartwarming to see some things hadn’t.

Her eyes flickered to Annie before turning her phone around, “Why does this person think I’m supposed to be meeting them in half an hour?”

Annie laughed out loud, taking the phone from the other girl’s hands and typing out a reply, “Seems like this poor person has the wrong number.”

When Y/n’s phone is returned to her grasp, she giggles at what Annie had done.

Unknown Number

Hey! Just letting you know I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Hope you aren’t running late like last time…

Y/n

Uh, I’m actually running really behind schedule. I won’t be able to get there until around three hours from now. Sorry.

The two girls continued their lunch, feeling a bit bad about messing with a stranger’s plans but laughing nonetheless. It wasn't until Y/n’s phone started blowing up that the color began to drain from their faces.

Unknown Number

WHAT? THREE HOURS????? WHAT?

Unknown Number

YOU’RE MESSING WITH ME RN

Unknown Number

If you don’t answer me in .5 seconds, I WILL show up to your house and wreck your shit

Unknown Number

LIKE WHAT? THREE HOURS? WE’VE HAD THESE PLANS FOR WEEKS MATE

Unknown Number

Literally answer me rn or I’m telling Oscar to help me plan your murder

Y/n’s hand clasped over her mouth as she frantically began to type out a reply, guilt settling over the amusement.

Y/n

You most definitely have the wrong number. Sorry, me and my friend thought it would be funny to tell you that your plans were basically ruined. Our bad. But, I have no idea who Oscar is and I pray for the person you are meaning to text rn. Plz don’t wreck their shit!

His response was immediate.

Unknown Number

Oh… sorry for my small outburst then. But, how am I meant to know this isn’t actually the person I’m trying to get a hold of?

Y/n laughed before Annie suggested taking a picture and sending it to the mysterious number. Probably stupid considering they had no idea who was on the other side of the phone, but an image was sent regardless.

Y/n

*Image Attached*

Y/n

I am most definitely not whoever you are trying to get a hold of.

The number doesn’t respond for a few minutes, busy for all they know or getting bored of texting a supposed stranger. However, her phone dings on the table and the two girls peek to see the response.

Unknown Number

Woah, you are for sure not who I am meant to be texting right now.

Unknown Number

You are very pretty tho

Y/n giggled,

Y/n

Thank you, but not thank you if you are an old man or serial killer. I don’t take compliments from psychos.

Unknown Number

Haha no I am not an old man or serial killer. I’m a child in a 24 year old man’s body.

Y/n

How do I know this for sure?

Unknown Number

Trust me?

Y/n

Okay, ig. What’s your name?

The food comes to the table and Annie begins to dig in, watching her best friend closely before the girl puts her phone down.

“He stopped responding. I asked for his name. Probably got scared or something.” She murmurs before cutting into her chicken. Annie nods her head side to side before they take up another topic of conversation, seemingly moving on from the previous random male who had interrupted their lunch.

However, there’s another vibration on the table ten minutes later. Y/n picks up her phone.

Unknown Number

Robert :) But, people call me Bob. What’s yours?

Y/n

I am going against everything my parents ever taught me by telling a stranger my name and what I look like… but I’m Y/n :)

Y/n

Btw bob sounds like a fake name that’s so funny

🏎️

The next day, Y/n wakes up to yet another message from Bob- who had begun to take up the majority of her text notifications’ real estate. She didn’t mind in the slightest, though. They got on like a house on fire, banter, jokes and conversation free-flowing at any given time.

Bob!

Good morning :)

Bob!

Wait, is it morning for you? Where do you even live?

Y/n

Okay, stalker. It’s literally 9 am, why am I already having to deal with a man trying to get my address.

Bob!

GIRL WHAT? That isn’t what i meant and you know it, Y/n

Y/n

Yes, i know what you meant, bob. I’m just joking lol

Y/n

I live in London! What about you?

Bob!

Monaco

Y/n

Shit, girl. You’re rich asf?

Bob!

NO nah nah nah. Y/n, I literally work as a server here. I enjoy the glamor tho

Y/n

Oh… so no diamond necklaces :( You could’ve been my sugar daddy, bob.

Bob!

😭

Y/n

No i joke I JOKE i can buy my own damn diamond necklaces

Bob!

Of course you can, Y/n. I’m not surprised.

Her heart warms at his portrayed support, and even though her bank account is in the negative, she likes to think Bob believes in her just as Annie does. Maybe he actually did.

She shakes her head at her thoughts. I’ve known him for a day, she thinks. He shouldn’t already mean this much to her. She doesn’t even know him.

Y/n

Ty, bob :) I have to go though. I have so much to get done today.

Bob!

Ok! text me when you’re free?

Y/n

yesss

—

There is a small void in Y/n’s body as she unlocks the front door of her apartment. A day of being broken down has taken its toll on her. Usually, it doesn’t get to her, the stress and pressure of it all, but today, as she flops down onto her ratty couch, part of her wants to give up.

Her phone buzzes underneath her leg.

Bob!

Are you free yet?? It’s been all day, y/n!!!

Y/n

sry, i just got home.

Bob!

Just now? Didn’t you leave at like 9:30 this morn??

Y/n

yeah

Bob!

Y/n, its 10:45 at night for you

Y/n

that would be correct… how did you know that?? Tracking my time zone, Robert?

Bob!

you might be scared to hear I have London saved on my world clock so I can see it at all times

Y/n

thats love fr

Y/n

but yeah its been a long day

Bob!

oh, well, im sorry :( how are you? Tired?

Y/n

Yeah, definitely. Just a hard day in general.

Bob!

Talk to me about it then <3

Her face blushes before the color is being forced back beneath her face. She doesn’t know this man enough to tell him all her sorrows. He’s just being nice.

Y/n

it’s ok. Thank you tho bob

Bob!

Who else are you planning to talk to abt it then?

Y/n

no one?

Bob!

you need to talk about it y/n to let it go. Talk to me.

Y/n

We barely know each other.

Bob!

Do i look like i care?

She laughs and types,

Y/n

Bob, I don’t even know what you look like

Bob!

We’ll fix that someday :) Now talk to me about everything

Y/n takes a breath before her fingers begin flying across the keyboard.

Y/n

People are just mean. I try so hard everyday to give my all and my best effort, to not let people down, but I seem to still do it. I can’t quite get things right and my boss is suffocating me with the way he looms over me like I can't hold my own. It makes me think I can't. There’s no room for mistakes or excuses, you have to be perfect in the office i work and i will never be that. There’s this other girl who holds my same position yet she does it so much better. I will never hold a candle to her and I know that. She’s everything I want to be because she accomplishes everything I can't. My boss knows it, everyone knows it, and it makes me feel like an outsider. I can’t share certain memories with these people or fit in quite right because I haven't been able to achieve the same success as they have. I know I’m just starting out and I have the rest of my life to surpass them, but what if I can't? What if I am never able to gain a good understanding and I am constantly behind?

There are tears pooling in her eyes as she relives the moments of her day when certain tasks were given to this girl she envies, Sam, while her boss gave her a look that had her close to quitting on the spot. Sam gets to revel in the future while Y/n stays in terror of it. A career path she has wanted all her life taunting her.

Bob!

I can relate to that. I can understand the feeling of seeing everyone around you get something you want so dearly while you share the same tools they do and yet you still come up empty. But I’ve also learned that good things come with time and we can’t always be yearning for something that isn’t meant to happen right now. What’s meant to happen will happen for you, I’m sure of it, Y/n. I know it’s hard to not be jealous or feel inadequate, but you just have to make peace with the fact that you try your best and that’s enough. You’re a good person, Y/n. All the good will come to you.

There’s something in his words that makes her feel heard and for once, Y/n finds peace in another’s reassurance. She doesn’t want to think about what that means toward who Bob is to her.

Y/n

Thank you. That means a lot.

Bob!

Of course. I wish I would’ve had someone telling me that when I was experiencing it.

Y/n

When were you experiencing it?

Bob!

A few years ago. But, that doesn’t matter.

Y/n

You’re always vague, bob. Give me something please? I’ve told you so much.

Bob!

There’s not much to tell, Y/n.

Y/n

You’re a server. Is that something you want to do for the rest of your life?

Bob!

I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.

Y/n

VAGUE

Bob!

Ok, okkk!! I don’t want to be a server for the rest of my life. I think I’d like to work in Formula One. I’ve always loved racing and cars, the thrill of speed and all that. Trying to be Max Verstappen fs

Her eyes twinkle,

Y/n

Haha yeah right brotha

Y/n

That’s great tho! I think you’d be great in Formula One, Bob. I’ve heard of it but not a huge fan. It seems boring.

Bob!

Damn, shitting on my favorite thing… but thank you, Y/n. I think I’d be great too.

Y/n

You know i didn’t mean it that way!! What about your family?

Bob!

If you’re gonna ask me all these questions, should we just call?? Might be easier haha

She stares at his text for a moment, only a few seconds, before his contact name is large on her screen as his call awaits her answer. She clicks the green button and puts the phone to her ear, suddenly nervous to hear his voice for the first time.

“Y/n?” His deep, husky tone fills her ears and the truth of his identity begins to genuinely reign true. His voice is none of some old, slimy man. She could see it fitting someone younger, handsome even. Part of her even wants to say he sounds familiar.

She breathes, “Bob?”

There’s a silence that passes between them, a line crossed in the random relationship they’d surprisingly developed. Rustling sounds from Bob’s end, sheets moving before Y/n adds to the commotion, her heels falling to the floor once she pushes them off.

“Are you going to ask me about my family?” He asks, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Y/n giggles, “Tell me about your family, Bob.”

He lets out a small noise of confirmation, “Well, I have two sisters and a brother. A mom and dad. Still married. I don’t know, what do you want to know?”

The two laugh together at his sudden loss of words before Y/n speaks, “Uh, tell me about your parents. Any crazy love stories in the family?”

“No, they got together relatively normal. They’ve been together since they were younger and they’re still in love to this day. They set up a great example for me.”

Y/n rises from her couch, putting Bob on speaker, and moving into her bedroom to get ready for the end of the night. His voice echoes off the walls of the glistening white walls of her bathroom as she asks him more questions about his siblings and relatives. The way he speaks so highly of them makes the pull to him she feels stronger. Something about him seems too good to be true, but she wouldn’t say that out loud. She believes too much in the power of a jinx.

Bob somehow changes the conversation to her, asking her further about her job and her worries. It’s scary how easy it feels to open up to him, things she had a hard time even telling Annie. Maybe it’s the anonymity of him, the elusiveness of the man she truly doesn’t know. However, none of that matters wholly as she lays in bed, eyes trained on the fan above going in circles as she talks about insecurities she’s had since she was a kid.

“It’s hard to know what traits you truly hold, you know? I can be the sweetest to one person, but horribly mean to another. I don’t want people to think I’m armed with ill intent. Sometimes things just don’t come out the way I want.” She whispers, arms sitting heavy over her stomach.

Bob sighs, “It’s scary how much we share in common. I’ve felt that way too many times before. You can never be too careful with your words and it just hits so hard when people don’t understand who you truly are at your core. If they did, they wouldn’t think I was saying something with malice.”

She smiles to herself. It’s as if he lives in her head. “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious, Bob.”

He chuckles, “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious either, Y/n.”

The quietness of her name on his lips brings her closer to sleep and it’s the way he begins to ramble about how much he loves to talk to her that sends her over the edge, a warmness accompanying her body to sleep.

Bob keeps talking for a few minutes before her silence is deafening and he realizes what’s happened. Still, he talks, traumas and all, because something about knowing she’s there makes him not want to hang up.

🏎️

“So, you’ve been talking to this guy for how long?” Annie questions, her eyebrows pulled together just as they always have while she stares bewilderedly at Y/n.

“Three weeks,” She replies, a message from Bob appearing on her screen just as they utter his name.

Annie stares at her, “And you don’t know what he looks like?”

Y/n shakes her head lightly, “No…”

Annie scoffs, “Y/n! That’s so stupid! He could be stalking you for all we know!”

“No! He’s not stalking me, Annie. I think I know him now, really. In the beginning, no, but we call all the time and we talk about anything and everything. He’s sweet and he’s everything I’ve ever been looking for in a guy.” Y/n is quick to defend, her phone in her hands as Bob calls her.

Annie glances down to the ringing phone, “Is that him?”

Her challenging look makes Y/n nod slowly. Annie lurches forward and Y/n yelps just as her best friend yanks the phone out of her hands and answers the call.

“ANNIE!” Y/n yells, grasping for the phone while Annie just moves away.

Bob’s voice meets Annie’s ears, “Y/n?”

“This is Annie, Y/n’s best friend. I’d like to know your address and full name, seeing as my beloved friend has not gotten that information yet.” She demands, eyes glancing toward Y/n as she awaits the man’s answer.

Bob stutters, “Uh, my name is Robert Dancing. I live in Monaco.”

Annie shakes her head, “No, I’m talking address. Like, 12345 Hemingway Street.”

Bob laughs, “Can I just talk to Y/n?” There’s a hint of anxiousness in his voice that sends Annie into a manic spiral.

“No, tell me where you live.” She fires back.

“Annie!” Y/n tries again, grabbing onto Annie’s sweatshirt to pull her closer. When she’s within reach, Y/n reaches for the phone and snatches it back, much to Annie’s dismay.

Y/n apologizes, “Bob, I’m so sorry. Annie’s a little insane.”

He laughs and it lingers around her heart, “It’s okay. Just call me later, yeah?”

She nods and murmurs confirmation before hanging up. She turns to look at her best friend, a rare moment of betrayal. “Why would you do that?” She asks, annoyance radiating off of her.

Annie crosses her arms, “Because, Y/n! You don’t know this man.”

Y/n groans, “Yes, I do! Also, getting to know him by demanding his address seems satisfactory to you?”

“You’re being stupid, Y/n! I’m just looking out for you!” She raises her voice, anger getting in the way of truly getting her point across.

Y/n shakes her head, “Looking out for me would be trusting me when I ask that of you! You just completely went against everything I asked of you! I asked for support, not outraged behavior!”

Annie’s face drops, “You don’t get it! Y/n, you do not know this man! You didn’t even know his last name until I asked for you yet you’ve apparently told him all of your secrets?!”

Y/n begins to pack her purse in a moment of fury, “No, Annie, you don’t get it!”

As she stands at the cusp of the front door, Annie yells back at her, “Stop falling in love with someone you can’t trust!”

Y/n closes the door shut, a huff coming from her lips as she storms down the stairs, tears down her face. To have her best friend question her judgment regarding someone who means so much to her hurts immensely. Though, what hurts worse is knowing she might be right.

—

Max almost looks perplexed when Lando hangs up the phone.

“Robert Dancing? What the hell kind of name is that?” He teases, a patronizing tone.

Lando shakes his head, “I didn’t know what else to say! Dancing was the first thing that came to my head!”

Max crosses his arms over his chest, “Are you ever planning on telling this woman who you really are?”

Lando’s mouth opens and falls closed, at a loss for words, “I don’t know. I want to, but I know she’ll run. I don’t blame her. I’ve lied about fundamental things.” There’s a crease in his forehead as he continues, “I can’t lose her. I’m too addicted to the way she makes me feel.”

Max sighs, “I hate to say it, but you might, Lan. You told her you were a completely different person, betrayed her trust in an insane way. You’ve got something special, that counts for something, but you need to be prepared for the possibility of her never being able to find it in herself to forgive you. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and get hurt.”

“I won’t. I know the risks of what I’ve done, but I can’t take it back now. I just need to find the time to tell her. I will tell her and I’ll do it in a coherent, calm way.” He tries, but the two of them know he’s already gotten his hopes up. Max looks at him with faux confidence, knowing Lando’s found himself with someone it’ll cut deep to let go of.

Lando knows it too, knows the kind of pain that’ll shred through him if she leaves because of his mistake. It’s ironic in the way that a lie, one so unnecessary, is the thing that plagues his mind at night even as Y/n’s voice puts him to sleep.

🏎️

There’s a nagging in Y/n’s brain that pushes her to get out from under the covers of her bed and find her desk in the dark of the night. She sits in the chair with a creak before opening her laptop and the random browser she’s had tabs open in for days on end.

Her fingers however over the keys before typing in a dreaded question of truth.

“Robert Dancing.” She whispers as she presses enter and the screen begins to load. Her stomach churns and her eyes whip away, too scared to look. What would she do if nothing came up? What if Annie was right? What if Bob wasn’t who she thought he was after all?

But, then, his voice calls her back to the safety of her blind trust as it rings throughout her brain. He seems too nice to be what Annie had thought him to be. Bob is who she thinks he is, he has to be.

Her gaze takes one more look at the picture of her and Annie on her nightstand before she turns her head fully to find out her fate.

A blank screen with the haunting words, “Sorry, we couldn’t find what you were looking for.” stares back at her. For a moment, she thinks she must’ve spelled his name wrong and she tries multiple, very clearly wrong, versions of what his name could be in an attempt to console the last of hope dwindling out of her body.

Bob. A name in her mouth that now means nothing takes on what she had originally thought it had been. A fake name.

This can’t be, she thinks. There has to be some logical explanation. But, then again, Robert Dancing is not a typical name, something should come up for a server who lives in Monaco. A link to his social media would’ve shown. He’s young and living in Europe, there would be a trace of him.

Robert Dancing does not exist.

🏎️

Unknown

Y/n, you never called me back. Is everything okay?

Y/n

Everything is fine.

Unknown

Can I call you now?

Y/n

I’m busy.

Unknown

It’s been three days and I haven’t heard from you at all. Seriously, are you okay?

Unknown

Y/n, answer me. What’s going on?

Y/n

Stop messaging me.

Her body jolts in surprise when her phone rings aggressively against the desk at her work. She looks around sheepishly at her staring coworkers before grabbing the loud device and walking outside. The moment the door shuts behind her, she answers.

Bob speaks so quickly, “Y/n, what’s going on?”

She stares at the skyline, trying to find peace in the view, “What’s your name?”

Bob is quiet, “Robert Dancing. You know this.”

“No, I don’t. What’s your name?” She tries again, anger in her voice and sadness deep in her soul.

“Bob.” He states, breaking her heart once more.

Y/n scoffs, “I know that’s not your name. If you don’t start telling me the truth right now, I will hang up and block you.”

A door closes on his side and she hears him take a breath, “Okay, okay. Don’t do that. How’d you find out?”

A dry laugh leaves her mouth, mixed with astonishment, “Do you think I’m stupid?! You gave me what was supposed to be your full name, so I searched you up. Choose a name that actually comes up next time, yeah?”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. You told me you would never think I meant malice by my actions. That should apply here.” He tries, but she just shakes her head.

“That was back when I thought I knew at least your name. Who ever are you? Do you even live in Monaco? Was any of it true?” She cries, somewhat surprised at the tears that have appeared.

He sounds disappointed, “Yes, it all was. I do live in Monaco and I have three other siblings. My parents are still married. All the things I told you were true, my doubts and insecurities. That wasn’t fake, Y/n.”

She pulls herself together, not ready to break down for a man so cruel, and wipes her tears, “What’s your name?”

“Y/n, I-”

She interrupts, determined, “What’s your name?”

A build up manifests from the silence he lets go on before he answers her dying question, “Lando Norris.”

Part of her was expecting him to say a name she would’ve recognized, but no part of her has any reaction to him. His name is just another one she wished to have been able to connect to another human being.

He takes her silence for realization and his body slumps against the wall behind him. Part of him knows she won’t, but another part worries she’ll take their situation and everything he’s told her to the press.

What she says next completely contradicts everything he built up in his head, “You act like that’s supposed to mean anything to me.”

With that, she hangs up the phone.

—

Annie and Y/n haven’t spoken since their fight a week ago, but the betrayal of it is pushed aside when Annie opens the door to find Y/n crying at her door.

No words are shared, Annie understands, and Y/n is ushered into the home, coaxed by her best friend to sit on the couch.

“What happened?” She whispers, her hand rubbing over Y/n’s back. Annie hates to see her best friend in such brokenness, even in a moment where she could tell her I told you so. That would do no one good, Annie knows that. Y/n doesn’t need to be proven wrong right now, she needs someone to sit with her when no one else seemingly won’t.

A sharp intake of breath and Y/n speaks, “He wasn’t who he said he was. Robert Dancing doesn’t exist. His actual name is Lando Norris. As if that means anything. Why would he lie?”

Annie cocks her head because it doesn’t make sense. Why would he lie? Lying about your life to make it seem more interesting than it was would make sense, but to blatantly lie completely about your identity? That didn’t make sense.

“Have you searched him up? Maybe it’s supposed to mean something?” She tries, genuinely lost at the situation.

Y/n shakes her head, tears falling to her lap as she hangs her head, “If I do and I see him, I don’t want to know. I already like him too much and that makes this hurt more than it should. If I see him, learn who he truly is, I’m scared I’ll never be able to let him go.”

Annie frowns, part of her wants to know about the man that put her friend in such a state. But, it’s not what Y/n needs as she cries on the beige couch. Her head fits in the crook of Annie’s shoulder as the girl turns on mindless TV for her friend.

Still, though, Annie knew she would find herself investigating Lando Norris later when Y/n fell asleep.

—

It’s ironic how similar Y/n and Annie look when they scour the internet for information about a specific man. Annie has a bit of blanket pulled over her lap as Y/n hogs the majority of it, the rise and fall of her chest a telltale sign of needed slumber.

The face of Lando Norris stares back at her as she tries to think of this man calling her best friend at night, asking questions no one has before. He seemed bubbly in the few moments she spoke to him and when she clicks on a video of him in an interview, she knows immediately it's him. His voice is distinct as it speaks through a clear microphone. There were no lies in his second confession to Y/n.

From what she can tell, he’s a beloved member of the Formula One community, a sport she had never truly looked into because she assumed it was overrated. So, did Y/n. The off chance that Lando texted a random person and found something more with them, he lucked out that that someone was clueless when it came to the sport that made him famous.

Her breathing stops when she finds a video that titles Lando’s supposed telling of a woman he’s taken a liking to. The date of the video tells her it’s within the time frame of him and Y/n.

She glances at her sleeping best friend before clicking the link, his smiling face large on her screen.

Lando’s giggle is sweet, “Yeah, I guess you could say I’ve found someone. Or, at least, have a crush. This girl and I are definitely not official, but there’s something there, I think we can both feel it. I’ve never felt so free with someone.”

The reporter, out of view from the watcher, coos, “That’s great, Lando! What’s her name?”

Lando gives the man a warning glance as he states authoritatively, “I won’t be handing that information right now.”

He clutches the microphone and Annie can see the way his body shifts with protectiveness. If anything, this is exactly the kind of way she had always wanted Y/n to be treated. Protected and cherished. From what she could gather, from the deepdive of articles and the stories Y/n had told, Lando did just that.

Her heart aches. A stupid man tried to protect himself whilst falling in love with a woman that never even knew who he was. They were never even given a chance.

Somehow, in a black out of pure sadness for Y/n who had always yearned to be adored in this way, Annie found herself buying a ticket to the next Grand Prix, Silverstone of all places.

With a crappy seat and no plan or guarantee of finding him, Annie knew she had to find Lando. She had to fight for something that wasn’t even hers.

🏎️

The commotion of fans surrounding the entrance to the paddock puts Annie on edge, not to mention the size of the crowd. She thought she got here early, wanting to be at the front so she could try and talk to him, but as she sees the large amount of people between her and the path where the drivers walk, hope diminishes. Still, she pushes through everyone, apologizing when she gets dirty looks. She knows how bad this looks, how much this most likely goes against common courtesy at races such as these. The face of Y/n with bloodshot eyes and a puffy face forces her to persevere, her best friend deserves someone like Lando.

She’s halfway through the crowd when it roars to life, screams emitting as people begin to stick McLaren hats and posters in the air. From the sliver of light she can see through some bodies, Annie watches Lando begin to walk through. He stops to sign for some fans and she pushes more forcefully, knowing this is her only chance.

He moves through it all with grace, but a certain speed that makes her heart pick up. He’s at the front of the crowd, about to step into the paddock and be lost completely to her when she yells, “Lando! It’s Annie!”

It’s the first thing that she can think of, hoping he’ll be reminded of Y/n’s voice when she tried to cover for her best friend’s moment of protection. Annie watches him pause, turn around slowly, as his eyes roam over the sea of people. He locks eyes with her as she waves her arms in the air, something passes between them and he begins running toward her. A connection to the woman he let down, one he hadn’t stopped thinking of in the weeks she had left him.

When he reaches her, Lando is stunned by her presence. “You’re Annie? Like Y/n’s Annie?” He whispers, the people around her screaming for his signature as she nods her head.

“Y/n’s Annie.” He looks to be fighting tears as he ushers a security guard over. “I need you to escort her into the paddock, to my driver’s room.”

The large man nods and Lando walks off, nodding at Annie gratefully. Once he’s gone from the premises, the guard moves the rope keeping people from bombarding the drivers up and lets her through.

The walk to wherever Lando had ordered is quiet as Annie takes in the money that surrounds her. People with Cartier jewelry and Birkens waltz around with an air to them that allows Annie to suddenly understand Lando. This is what he was afraid of. A greedy woman who would take advantage of the status he had and lie to him to get to his money and the money around him. While she understood, however, she still felt angry at his deceiving. Y/n was never given the benefit of the doubt.

The guard knocks on Lando’s door and it swings open, his sunken face coming into view and in the new light, Annie can see the love that Lando had found in her best friend. The effect of her leaving him is seen all over his body and from what she could gather during her time looking into him, he wasn’t doing as well as he usually had during races.

He motions for her to come in and when she does, the door closed, he begins talking, “Did Y/n send you here? Is she here? Can I talk to her? Does she want to see me? Is she forgiving me? Are you-”

Her heart breaks as she interrupts him and his quick anticipation of a reconciliation is crushed, “None of that is true. I’m here on my own terms. Y/n doesn’t know I’m here. At this point in time, she doesn’t want to see you, but I think that’s the shock of finding out about you.. That will wear off eventually. She’s hurt, Lando, but I also know she hates not talking to you. She hasn’t stopped talking about you. And I can’t stand to know that you two found something she’s always deserved, but let it slip away because of fears and betrayals.”

He sits opposite of her, staring at her and trying to find the answers he wants to hear in her eyes. He never does.

Lando rubs his palms over his eyes, “I never even got her last name. There was no way for me to find her.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.”

He lifts his head slowly, “What?”

At the look in his eyes, Annie smiles, “Y/n Y/l/n. That’s her last name. Actually, her full name, I guess.”

A small grin finds its way to Lando’s face and the way he touches his mouth lightly makes her think he hasn’t smiled in a while. “Y/n Y/l/n,” He whispers, smile widening as it all falls from his lips.

He’s even in love with her name, Annie thinks.

“Can you take me to her? I would like to be given the opportunity to fight for her.” He asks hesitantly, as if Annie hasn’t made it abundantly clear that she is here to help.

She nods, “I will tell you where to meet her, but first, I need you to tell me everything from the beginning, from your perspective.”

Lando’s head hangs and he begins, hands wringing together in his lap, “When I first texted her, I thought she was my friend, Daniel.”

“Daniel Ricciardo?” She asks, clarification needed for this story.

Lando’s eyebrows rise, “You know the sport?”

She shakes her head, “No, both Y/n and I never got into it because we didn’t think it was that exciting - sorry - but, I basically learned everything about your life and Formula One when Y/n told me your name.”

He nods and continues, “Well, yes, I thought she was Daniel Ricciardo, we were supposed to be meeting for lunch that day to just catch up before starting the new season. Well, as it turns out, he had changed his phone number over break because it leaked and never told anyone that he wasn’t needing to contact immediately during that time. I assume Y/n must’ve gotten a new number around the time because she got his.”

Annie thinks back before realizing Y/n had shattered her phone in the weeks before and ended up getting an entire new cell phone profile. New number, email, everything. She had said she liked the clean slate.

At her nodding, Lando talks once more, “When she sent me the picture of her, I immediately thought she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my entire life. That’s cliche, but it’s true. She’s still so beautiful to me. Um,” He shakes his head, tears having pooled in his eyes at the mention of her beauty, “I knew I wanted to keep talking to her, see where it went because I couldn’t just stop talking to her and never knew what could’ve been. So, I made a quick, impulsive decision. I lied about who I was because I just wanted her to treat me normally. I had no idea who she was or her morals, I couldn’t guarantee that she would treat me like everyone else. Obviously, when I learned of who she was and the deep parts of her that no one else got to see, I wanted to change it all. I wanted to tell her so many times who I was and what I wanted with her, what I saw with her, but I knew if I did, I would just lose her. So, I tried to find ways to keep talking to her, but also slowly introduce the truth. Clearly, I never found a way. When you called me, demanding my address and full name I panicked and didn’t think about what would happen if I said what was supposed to be my full name. You’re very scary, you know.” He chuckles, Annie does with him, “So, it all fell from there. She found out Robert Dancing was something entirely fabricated and she called me, telling me to tell her the truth. I was backed into a corner and everything I wanted, I needed, left me. That moment is ingrained in my brain.”

He breathes slowly, his eyes still on his hands, before whispering, “I miss her.”

Annie nods, “I know. So does she. That’s why you need to go to this address,” She hands him a small paper, “Meet her there on Monday at 7 PM, come prepared to tell her all of that and more.”

He clutches the paper like it’s his last lifeline and Annie smiles at how important Y/n is to him.

Lando glances up at her, “What do you mean by more?”

Annie continues to smile lightly, “That you love her. That you need her. That you’re sorry. Lando, remind her of what you two had.”

🏎️

The small apartment complex is daunting to Lando as he stands in front of it. Annie never told him where he was going or what he would be met with, but considering he’s here to see Y/n, he can only assume the building he stares at is her home. His anxiety only spikes. He does not want to mess up again. He doesn’t want to taint her home with even more pain, he thinks to himself, images of himself groveling and begging for her forgiveness flashing in his mind’s eye.

Nonetheless, he knows if he backs out, Annie would find his address this time and physically harm him.

So, the boy walks to the gate and rings her neighbor, following Annie’s instructions closely. He remembered how she told him if he rang Y/n, she wouldn’t let him in, being stubborn and all. Though, if he rang the neighbor, an older woman Annie called Lo, he had a chance.

“Hello? I’m here to see Y/n.” He said into the rusty speaker, a questionable smell infiltrating his nose.

A crackling sound emits from it before Lo is speaking back to him, “Are you Robert Dancing? Annie told me you would be coming.”

Lando laughs at the name, his random ideas being the reason for it, and murmurs a yes to her. She doesn’t say anything back, just a loud buzzing noise that tells him the door is unlocked.

When he walks through, part of him groans at the lack of an elevator. For an athlete, the man is lazy.

Thus, he begins his scale to the top floor, cursing himself for falling in love with someone who lives so high up.

He’s almost completely lost to his thoughts that he doesn’t realize Y/n’s door stands in his way once his feet hit the doormat. It dawns on him the time has come to meet her in person, having never before. It should be studied, he thinks, how he’s fallen in love with her without ever truly seeing her.

He knocks on the door, not wasting time before he truly aborts whatever mission he’s found himself on. And his heart soars when he hears her yell, “Coming!”

He’s only ever heard it over the phone. To hear it feet away from him is almost as exciting as the idea of her forgiving him.

The door unlocks and pulls open, revealing Y/n in a matching set of pajamas that he remembers her texting him about, asking if they were a stupid purchase or not. He told her to get them, she told him probably not, that she was poor, but she still had.

Her eyes land on him and he’s ready for whatever screaming he’s about to endure, but she just smiles at him.

“Hi! Can I help you with anything?” She acts as if she doesn’t recognize him and Lando realizes she doesn’t. Annie had mentioned something about Y/n becoming disinterested in seeing who he truly was, out of fear of becoming too attached. His mind must’ve not genuinely absorbed that information because he only understands it now.

She doesn’t know who he is.

He could do the same thing he had before, lie and tell her he’s someone else. Take the safer option and secure her love, but he takes a breath instead and remembers all Annie had told him. He’d already put her through so much, to do it again would be cruel.

“Y/n, I’m Lando.” He says while he watches her face fall.

Her hands fly to the door, about to slam it on his face, but he sticks his foot in right before she can. The impact hurts, but he continues with what he had practiced so many times on the way here.

“Please, Y/n, just hear me out.” He pleads as her cheeks fill with red. He’s almost sure it isn’t a blush.

“How’d you even get my address?” She says, astonished at who stands before her. Her eyes fall over his body, trying to understand the information. Who he is, what he wants.

“Annie.” He whispers, knowing her confusion will only heighten more.

Her mouth falls open and she yells, “ANNIE?!”

What he believes to be Lo, pops out from her behind her door at the yelling and Lando lowers his head.

“Can I come in? We shouldn’t have this conversation in the hallway of your complex.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, hoping she’ll agree. When she does, opening the door for him slowly, he flies forward. While he was ecstatic to be given another chance, he still fears for his image and what would be speculated about a seemingly heated conversation between him and another woman.

She guides him to the couch and they sit down. A familiar creak sounds that reminds him of the ones he would hear when they got into deep conversation during their nighttime calls. The image of her on the phone with him, concentration on her face as she listened to whatever he was revealing and getting comfortable on her sofa, makes him smile softly.

“Bo- I mean, Lando, you need to start talking. I don’t have all the time in the world to listen.” She gives, her tone ice cold. However, the break in it when she realizes she’s said his former, fake name makes the anger he felt over his lies further. He wants her to say his name, the real one. He wants her to say it with love and excitement, not distance. He wants her and his name on her lips.

“I never meant to hurt you. Actually, what I did was in an attempt to shield myself from any kind of bad faith. I didn’t expect to develop what he did. I didn’t even expect to open up to you in the way I did. I thought I could make a friend, one who didn’t know who I was and didn’t have any kind of bias toward me. I’ve always wanted that with someone, especially a partner. I saw an opportunity and I took it, not thinking through it all and I hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry, Y/n. From the moment we started truly talking, calling and all, I knew I had messed up, but I never found a way to tell you. Well, a way to tell you that wouldn’t result in you getting rid of me. I wish I could take it all back, but not you. Not what I got to experience with you, what I felt with you. You’re my favorite memory and you’ll never understand how grateful I am for you. You helped me through bad races even when you didn’t know, helped me through weird press interactions when you didn’t know. I loved that. I loved how at peace you made me feel. I can’t let this go without knowing I gave it everything I have and when Annie showed up at Silverstone, telling me I had to fight for you, I took whatever she had to give.”

Y/n stares at him, trying to digest it all, and murmurs, “Annie went to Silverstone?”

He chuckles lightly, “Yes, she came and she told me who she was, what she was doing there. She told me she knew what we had and she didn’t want you to lose something you’ve always deserved. She gave me this address and told me to come here at this time, told me to buzz Lo instead of you so I could come in. She told me I needed to remind you of what we had.”

Y/n goes red again, blushing this time. She smiles at the idea of Annie going to great lengths just to make her happy, “Annie sounds determined.”

Lando smiles along with her, “She was. She told me if I didn’t fight for you, she’d find me and kill me. She’s really scary, Y/n.”

Their eyes meet and Y/n is reminded of what once was, the way he made her feel. She misses him and knowing the intricate shade of brown in his eyes doesn’t help how much she wants to shut him out.

“I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn’t make it any better. You could’ve given up everything you were saying at any point in time and you didn’t. You only told me when I confronted you with it.” She whispers, disappointment evident in her voice. She plays with her fingers and Lando is close to taking them in his hand.

He nods, “I get that. But, I was scared to tell you because I was just so in love with you. I still am.”

Her eyes snap to his and a moment passes before she asks, “Still am? You love me?”

His cheeks turn cherry tomato, “Yes, of course, I am. The moment I realized you were safe enough to open up to, knowing my identity or not, I was in love with you.”

She groans and lets her face fall to her palms, “But, I’m in love with you too.”

He laughs and shakes his head, “Why is that a bad thing?”

Her eyes peek from over her hands, “Because I want to hate you.”

Finally, his fingers lace with hers as he brings them away from her face, “But, you love me. Isn’t that enough?”

She knows it is. He knows it is. Annie knows it is, even if she isn’t there. It’s a matter of if Y/n can put aside the grand web of lies he put together to let them have their shot at something that could be wonderful. In the warmth of his presence, she thinks she can.

🏎️

Y/n

Can you stop blowing up my phone

Bob <3

Why????? I’m bored baby

Y/n

im at work girly

Bob <3

girly 🤭🫶🏻🤗 plz go out to the balcony and answer me

Y/n

I think you might be obsessed with me

Bob <3

i made an alter ego so i could talk to you didn’t i?

Y/n

girl

She picks up his call as she closes the door behind her, the new office building she’s in allowing for a wider view of London. The new team she works with is less competitive than the last and their support is proving beneficial with the news she got today.

“My beloved girlfriend, are you free for lunch today?” Lando giggles into the speaker like the lovesick man he is. Y/n can hear Oscar make fun of him in the background.

She smiles, “I thought you were bored?”

“Yes, so now I’m asking if you want to have lunch with me” He answers as if it’s obvious. In the months after the soft moment shared between Lando and Y/n on her old couch, they’ve found something more than love between them. Lando says it’s destiny and Y/n says it’s a soulmate tie, but they agree that the love they once shared over the phone only grew once in person.

Y/n chuckles at his antics, “Sure, I will have lunch with you, Lan. Can you come pick me up though? I don’t want to drive.”

Lando makes a noise, “What did you think I was going to do? Make you drive yourself? No way. There’s one person in this relationship that drives cars professionally and it’s not you, sweetheart. Sorry to break it to you.”

Oliver, her coworker, comes to the door, asking for her assistance on something with a smile. She tells him she’ll be a minute and he nods, retreating back into the office quietly, “Sorry, my love. I need to go. But, you’ll be here when?”

Lando hums, “An hour?”

“Perfect! Oh, and, Lando?” She asks, her voice filled with joy as he responds, “You’ll have to come to the Junior VP’s office to pick me up.”

Silence is met with her sentence before Lando whispers, “Either I’m stupid and you have some big project I forgot about or you’re trying to tell me something that will actually make me lose my mind and sanity right now.”

She laughs loudly, “I got Junior VP, Lan. Youngest one yet.”

He shrieks, momentarily making Y/n go deaf, before screaming to everyone around him about his girlfriend’s achievement, “I’m so proud of you, baby! Oh my god! I’m so happy! We need to buy champagne! You can have your own podium moment! Holy shit, I’m so proud!”

“I would love that, Lan. Thank you. I love you.” She whispers the last part softly, three words that mean so much.

He’ll never get tired of hearing her speak of her love for him, “I love you too, Y/n.”

She’d never get tired of saying it.

#mclaren #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris edit #lando imagine #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfiction #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fluff #ln4 x you

[bigfatbimbo]

hi!!!! so i absolutely adore ur writing and was wondering if you could do angst. idk if this is up your alley or anything but if it’s not you don’t have to write it dw abt it!

so basically vox x reader

reader is really sad bc something happened and just isn’t in the mood for vox when he comes home from work. so vox being himself is annoying and instead of reader being mad or even like having a reaction (she’s usually a dom btw) she just like breaks down. ik this is a little random but i think it’s a pretty cute idea. have a nice day/night xxx

a/n — I had a TERRIBLE day so here’s this hurt/comfort fic to cope.

Vox’s shit-eating grin slowly faltered before completing dropping as he took in the situation. He barely even remembered what he’d said but, obviously, you didn’t take it well.

He felt a pang of guilt as he looked at you on the couch, crying into your hands. He knew you were in a bad mood when he got home. Of course, he didn’t know just how bad of a mood.

He saw your irritation right off that bat, he had asked what was wrong and you had brushed him off, snapping at him slightly. 

That’s about when Vox had decided to escalate the situation. Throwing annoying taunts at you, teasing you, begging for you to do something about it.

Of course he wanted a reaction, but more on the lines of you slamming him against a wall and putting him in his place. Under no circumstances did he think you would start crying.

And yet, here you were, crying into your hands on the couch, over some bratty remark Vox had made.

“I— uh, my dear, I didn’t mean anything—“ he tried to clarify, stretching his arm slightly out as if to touch you. He wasn’t sure what to do.

“Shut up, Vox,” you cried, “Don’t you know when to shut up?” Your words weren’t laced with venom or overly angry liked he’d expected. In fact, that would have been better.

In contrast to your usual nature, you just seemed overall sad. More than sad, Vox thought, totally spent. 

It was no secret he was terrible at comforting people, giving people false hope and manipulating them into doing something for him, sure. But this?

Well, convincing someone they feel better and actually making someone feel better were incredibly different. He was totally lost.

Your sobs got louder and more violent as moments passed. And yet, he stood there like an idiot, giving you a blank stare.

As if going through the motions, he recites a list in his mind. What to people usually do to help someone when they’re crying? Maybe, give them a hug?

He sighed and sat down next to you on the couch, cautiously putting his hand your shoulder and rubbing gently. 

Apologize next, Vox’s mental list demanded. 

“Look,” he started, awkwardly fiddling with his collar, “I didn’t mean to bother you by giving you all that shit. I knew you weren’t in the mood I just—“ 

He struggled with the next part, “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

The strange thing is, he really really meant it. Usually, an apology for Vox was one step further in getting what he wanted all along. However, this time the fact he made you cry actually erked him like nothing else before.

He apologized solely because he wanted you to feel better.

“I’m just not in the mood for your shit, Vox,” you  answer, choked out and muffled as you wipe the tears from your face. 

“I know. Well, now I do.” He went over his metal list once more, “So what’s got you so out of sorts this evening, my dear?”

“I’ve just—“ you sniff, trying to take in your thoughts, “—I’ve had a long day.”

“I’m all ears,” he answers immediately. If there’s one thing Vox was good at, it was listening.

You rant to him about the mishaps of the day, how fed up you were with so-and-so, how tired you were of life being so hard.

The entire time, Vox listened, plotting the perfect reply out in his mind, and checking off boxes on his list.

“Well, it’s over now, your home. And I won’t be an asshole anymore,” He says, earning a raised eyebrow from you. 

“I’ll try not to be an asshole anymore,” he corrects, provoking a small but noticeable smile out of you. He rewards himself, internally.

Hug them, he told himself. 

He moved closer to you and hesitantly wrapped his arms around your stomach, rubbing your back gently. To his delight, you ease into the hug, arms looping around his neck as you recovered from your breakdown.

“You’re so not getting laid tonight, by the way,” you joke, still in the hug.

“Yes, my dear. Unfortunately, I figured.” he sighed and continued rubbing your back.

“Do you wanna go watch TV upstairs?” you inquire.

“Always,” he grinned.

“Do you wanna keeping hugging while we do that,” you ask, genuinely curious.

His smile softened, “always.”

a/n — and then the next day you railed him into a mattress until he was crying harder than you ever were. The end.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel vox #vox x reader #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel fluff

[hysteria-things]

hi! i recently found your account, and i js wanna say omg ur so talented, like ur fr my new fav writer. could u maybe write something about a virgin reader, whos only ever fingered herself, and so when matt (or chris but im a matt girl and im being self indulgent about this), and she squirts, and is super embarrassed about it and he comforts her about it? u dont have to, but idk i js think u could do this idea rlly well:)

FIRST TIME

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!matt x virgin!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and matt have been together for quite sometime, but never had sex. he knows you’re a virgin and he’s so patient with you, but now you think you’re ready

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT but fluff!, making out, mini panic attack, praising, p in v, squirting

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,066

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: for anon and @mattsleftnipple03

these were pretty much the same so i combined them! hope you like :)

thank you and love you guys🫶

the pen in your hand scribbles on the piece of paper in front of you as you ponder. you’re in art class and your best friend sits across from you at the big table.

art class is basically a free period because let’s face it, you guys don’t do anything except gossip and draw for fun.

you’ve been asking your friend a series of questions about what losing your virginity is like since she has experience. the only experience you’ve ever gotten was your fingers, and to be honest, it gets old after a while.

you’re not embarrassed about being a senior in high school and still a virgin, but your boyfriend who graduated last year lost his with his ex a while back. you guys have talked about having sex for the first time for quite some time, but you were never ready.

no words can describe how grateful you are for matt. he’s been super patient and understanding with you.

but now, you think you’re ready.

“is there a reason you are asking me these questions?” your best friend asks, raising a brow.

you shrug, your hand still having a mind of its own with the pen. “i’m thinking about going all the way with matt.”

she smiles, genuinely looking happy for you. “oh my god! when?”

“i told him i plan on this weekend.”

“that’s so exciting!”

“yeah, but,” you pause to take a deep breath. “i feel nervous.”

she reaches over to stop your drawing hand. “it’s totally normal to feel nervous. matt’s such a sweet guy. i’m sure if you feel the slightest bit of discomfort, he’ll stop immediately.”

you smile at the mention of your boyfriend. she’s not wrong. matt will do anything to make you feel comfortable. he’s not one to force anything on someone. “you’re right.”

she gives your hand a light squeeze. “let me know how it goes.” she winks just as the bell rings for dismissal.

the rain outside is pattering on the window, you and matt cuddling comfortably on his bed. you guys just woke up from the best nap of your life.

you nibble on the inside of your mouth. “matt?”

“hm?” he hums, picking up his head that was resting on your chest.

“i want to do it.”

he beams at you. “positive?”

you bite your lip in excitement and nod. matt lifts himself to get more serious. “don’t be afraid to tell me to stop, okay?”

“i know,” you reply. he leans in and kisses you passionately with a hint of hunger. he breaks the kiss to take off his and your shirt but goes back at it to unclip your bra.

the skin-to-skin contact felt warm and comforting, but your anxiety is starting to take over.

you try to brush it off until matt reaches for your pants. yanking his hands away, you cover your top half with the comforter as you feel tears start to form.

matt freezes, a hint of guilt on his face. you try your best to take as many deep breaths as possible. “i’m so sorry, y/n.”

he carefully places his hand on your arm and rubs soothingly to calm you down. “n-no it’s not you.” you take three deep breaths before continuing. “it’s silly. the thought of a penis about to be inside of me freaks me out.”

you chuckle along with him, the humor helping you relax. “we don’t have—”

“i want to.” you say truthfully. “i just need a second.”

he goes through different breathing techniques with you until you calm down from your mini panic attack. he asks if you're okay at least a hundred times before you shut him up by kissing him again.

he hesitates with your pants not wanting to trigger you again, but after a beat, he pulls them down with your underwear.

his pajama pants soon end up on the floor with the rest of your clothes. he comes under the blanket with you and pecks you on the temple, grabbing a condom from the nightstand. “so proud of you.” he starts, making you blush. “you ready?”

you give him the okay, and he slowly starts pushing into you. the stretch makes you cringe and hiss, causing him to halt. “hurts?”

you shake your head. “pressure… keep going.”

dampening your lips by licking them, he continues to move. his eyes are dead set on your face to sense any discomfort. you let out a ‘mmph’ when he’s all the way in.

when he doesn’t see any bad signs, he starts moving his hips. you moan softly, the pain turning into pleasure.

“you can go faster,” you whisper, and he does. your nails leave crescent marks on his shoulders as he peppers kisses on your chest, neck, and face.

you squeeze your eyes closed, the softest of sounds leaving your lips. then, your legs twitch, and a watery liquid squirts out of you. your eyes widen, and matt stops the second he notices. “what’s wrong? need me to stop?”

“no. i think i…” your cheeks burn, too embarrassed to admit what you’re thinking.

“that’s okay. it’s completely natural.” he reassures, grabbing one of your hands to interlock with his above your head. “you’re doing so well, y/n. so fucking proud of you.”

he continues to rock his hips, this time pulling out more and thrusting back in a smidge harder. “oh.” you moan, arching your back when he starts hitting a certain spot. “oh shit, matt. just like that.”

he tries his best not to pick up speed to scare you, so instead he keeps the rhythm you’re comfortable with. he grunts, taking the hand that’s not holding yours and placing it on your hip.

the grip you have on his hand tightens, indicating that you’re close when his tip keeps abusing your g-spot.

you whimper, your legs starting to quiver from pleasure. “i’m close.”

“cum, baby. you’re doing such a good job.”

you sigh of relief when your cum slowly starts to ooze around him. matt’s right there with you with just a few more thrusts before spilling into the condom.

the feeling of him pulling out of you makes you wince, but then you two giggle. “i did it!” you say proudly, holding up your hand to give him a high five.

he laughs. “damn right you did.” he takes your high five, followed by a handhold.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #✎ ⤾ haleigh’s requests!

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

#anime #manga #donghua #link click #shiguang daili ren #lu guang #link click s2 #cheng xiaoshi #shiguang #defense #sort of #manhua #time agents #sgdr #lc #I think some people need to rewatch s1 for real #LEAVE HIM ALONE HE’S IN LOVE #but seriously why did ppl feel betrayed #the reveal makes his action have more logic behind them other than he’s rational #copy paste from twitter

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Johnathan

Catholicism doesn’t really exist in the game but it also kind of does. Basically, Johnathan didn’t know that God existed until one day all the angels started coming down from heaven to have a war with the demons from hell. And then Johnathan made a pledge to go serve god and heaven and kill all humans living on earth because they were like “unfit” or “unclean” or something. So then Johnathan’s friend Walter goes to hang out with satan and then they become enemies :( But he’s basically catholic even if he doesn’t directly call himself that so i’m gonna say yes.

Johnathan literally fuses himself with god to become merkabach. He is unhinged. At the start of the game i thought he was cool because he didn’t want me to kill my best friend like WALTER did. And unlike WALTER, johnathan didn’t fuck up the boss fight with the minotaur. But then johnathan became really really bourgeoise or bougie idk whatever idk how to spell it. And then johnathan was like “FUCK POOR PEOPLE” and i was like no girl nooooo. But johnathan wanted to fuse himself with god and wipe all humans off the face of the earth because heaven thought they were impure. So he was trying to invoke the angels of destruction so badly and i was like johnathan you can’t do that son, and so i had to beat his ass. And then by extension i had to also beat god’s ass. And then i don’t really remember what happens but johnathan was essentially the most catholic guy in existence considering i don’t know anybody else who was chill enough with god to do steven universe fusion with him.

ok so like in smt theres alignments . chaos neutral and law. jonathan is the local lawboy and this means hes like the one who rather follow the rules already established and reject radical changes. but anyways hes also shown to be some sort of follower of god in this world and also of the like. local religion or whatever in mikado (where everyone is from) and hes very devoted to the cause and to keep things peaceful as they are now instead of trying to change shit up like walter (the chaosboy)

if he wants to commit genocide who am i to say no

has one fight with friend and decides to become an angel about it and nuke tokyo off the map

Fuses with literal biblical angels to become another angel that then wants to genocide anyone deemed ungodly/unclean by the biblical higher powers (which includes the entire population of Tokyo. And people who read manga).

Dude he is absolutely insane. He's my poor little meow meow. The party got high and he rolled around on the floor and meowed because he thought he was a cat. He is also so insanely gay. Like stupidly queer coded . that just makes the catholic guilt hit harder tbh

Gay boy who dies in every timeline

Paul

he's like if renfield from dracula was cool youth pastor.

He's also a priest, who essentially becomes a vampire due to an "angel" and tries to convert the entire town. He also runs an Alcoholics Anonymous group. I love him

Listen you've probably gotten this guy idk how many times but JUST IN CASE, I submitted him. He's a priest who fell in love and had a lesbian daughter. He becomes a vampire after his money-laundering fundie simp sent him to the Holy Land. He's so torn up over his lover having dementia and God allowing so much overwhelming death that he decides he's going to try to Cure Death Forever but oh boy is it a slippery slope and the man is surrounded by enablers.

so i binged watch the chosen (it's a drama series but it's the bible) and I needed to balance or else Id be insane so I watched midnight mass. It was good. Fuck this rat -- op

#shin megami tensei #jonathan smt #smt #father paul hill #midnight mass #cct polls #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls

[madrone33]

Ok, so heavy SPOILER WARNING for Pjo episode 6! And the rest of the show since I have read the book! Just, y’know, there’s your warning.

I’d also like to preface this by saying this post will be a rambling, not at all ordered, completely unscripted, kinda-rant kinda-essay of my thoughts on the episode, which means it is inherently biassed and completely composed of my thoughts, feelings, and opinions! None of this is fact, and I’m not trying to force my opinion on you. If you think differently or disagree, that’s completely fine! I would hate to live in a world full of clones of myself lol

With that out of the way, onto whatever this will turn out to be!

Ok, so I really liked the Hermes scene. That part was well written and acted. The family drama and guilt and blame is this show is really complex and everyone just needs multiple hugs tbh. Also, seeing a bit of Hermes’ powers was interesting.

I’m intrigued to know more about Percy’s flashback, while at the same time dreading it because I know it’ll be something heart wrenching and traumatic for poor Percy.

Hermes not agreeing to help them was a kinda foregone conclusion; it would be way too easy for them if he just let them into the Underworld, and we can’t make things easy for them now, can we :D

The Kronos stuff was cool to see, with Luke desperately covering his ass lmao, and Percy confiding in Annabeth. The slight change in Iris Messaging, with them not needing water and using a crystal instead was good. Both that it saved time and that it’s more believable. If your one communication tool is rainbows, of course you’d carry around a portable crystal to make ‘em.

It does make me wonder if they’re ever going to explain that technology - as in phones - makes it easier for monsters to find you. ‘Cause currently I… don’t think that’s been made clear to non-book audiences? Maybe I missed it in an earlier episode? Idk.

The scene where they released the trafficked animals was funny, and Grover completely overlooking if humans would get hurt and only thinking of the animals was a nice touch. I get why they didn’t show the animal abuse explicitly, even if I liked how in the books it was shown more clearly.

Them actually realising that the Lotus Hotel is connected to the Lotus Eaters from the Odyssey was good. I like how they’re identifying the threats faster in the show, whereas in the book they really fell for the monsters’ traps a lot. And the fact that they were on guard and were thinking that it was the food to watch out for added a different kind of danger than the books, where it was more just the readers sensing something wrong and hoping they’d not get trapped.

I like that the Lotus was actually being pumped into the air the whole time. And the fact that Percy and Annabeth being together helped them remember what they were actually there for vs Grover being alone and succumbing quicker was logical.

I didn’t like what they did with Grover so much. Him finding a fellow Satyr and trying to talk to him the way that he can’t to Percy and Annabeth was sad, but then, uh, idk he kinda just felt a bit useless? And the Satyr (who’s name I’ve completely forgotten oops) I think was supposed to be seen as funny? But he was… not. He wasn’t funny. And Grover was just very meh.

Like, this is one of those instances where I would’ve liked for them to change it from the books. In the books they all get split up become slowly addicted to the games in the Lotus Hotel and all that, and then Percy snaps out of it and he goes to wake up Annabeth and Grover, and they find Grover playing something like ‘Destroying Humanity’ and then drag him out of there. Which is basically what happens here, but it’s just-

They’ve changed so many other things for the better, turning moments from a randomness scene to a character beat. And I think they tried to do that by adding the Satyr and the ‘Finding Pan’ game, but it just. Didn’t work for me. He was just kinda there and did basically nothing and, like.

Ok ok so my main problem with this episode is the lack of tension.

First off, they were more meandering around looking for Hermes, it didn’t seem like they were that worried they might not find him. Like, they literally just wandered around and found him, without asking for any directions from strange people that might’ve given some insight into how sus this place is, or even having a quick montage cut of them jogging around peering into shady places. They just- walk around slowly and then there he is. Incredible.

Second, I know the Lotus is supposed to be like a drug, where you forget things and just focus on feeling good all the time, but I would’ve liked if Grover figured out that it was in the air, or that too much time has passed, and tries to fight it or smth?

Like, he starts to forget, and knows he’s forgetting something important, and tries to find- someone- the people he knows he came here with- not just so they can help him remember but to warn them that they were wrong, and it’s not just if you eat the food it’s everywhere and they need to go because the time- it’s all slipping away and he can’t let them be trapped here-

But something or someone stops him, hold him back, makes it so he can’t, and slowly he starts to forget why he’s fighting or what he’s fighting for and then he succumbs, and the switch you can see in him from scared-determined-panicked to dazed-confused-happy is terrifying.

And now we viewers are on the edges of our seats, because now we know that Percy and Annabeth are in so much more danger than we thought, and now there’s a time limit, and now Grover is trapped in his own mind slowly losing himself, and now we’re wondering when it’s going to start happening to Percy and Annabeth too, and now we really need them to realise and save Grover and get the fuck out of there before it’s too late-

But uh, yeah, we… didn’t get that. Instead it was almost- portrayed as comical? Like, there wasn’t a lot of weight put on it.

Old man Satyr keeps forgetting ha ha ha. Oh Grover’s forgetting too? Wow it’s gonna be super hard to get out of that one! Oh, no it’s super easy. Barely an inconvenience! Oh really? Yeah, Percy and Annabeth have barely started to forget anything important, and then they happen to look up and see the Satyr and get reminded of Grover. And then there’s a super short chase scene and then jump cut to them finding Grover playing video games and oh funny, he doesn’t remember them! But it’s fine, it actually doesn’t matter, they get him and go and he remembers on his own a few minutes later! 😀

Speaking of; I might have missed something but did Annabeth do anything at all during that chase scene? Like, I think she went another route to try and cut him off, but then she just kinda disappears, Percy tackles him, and she never shows up…? Idk, I’ll rewatch it sometime, but as of now it’s very strange in my mind.

The car scene was kinda funny, but again, not a lot of tension at all.

(Though as someone learning how to drive that scene made me cringe because of how relatable it was lmao. Honestly, Percy drove way too well for a first timer in a crowded parking lot, and the fact that he actually made that turn decently well? Yeah, someone give him a pat on the back lol.)

… Okay so I just thought of something that is unrealistic and wildly deviating from the books to the point that it’s basically just fanfic, but hey, they deviated anyway when they introduced Hermes this early and it’s my shitty tumblr post so - imagine if there was a car chase. There. I said it. If you’re going to make Percy drive a basically stolen taxi through Los Angeles, fucking commit and make him have to outrun the cops/some monster until they manage to activate whatever makes the car teleport!

Like, do an ‘IKEA after dark’ situation where things are all happy go lucky in the club at first, and then after they talk to Hermes and the Lotus starts effecting them, shit starts to get weird, and the patrons around them start becoming strange, and there’s a creeping sense of wrong wrong wrong as they rush to find Grover and then they find him but he’s wrong, and he looks at them like they’re strangers and they don’t know how to fix it, so all they can do is grab him and run, barely remembering where they’re going or why, but they’re holding themselves together, and when one starts to slip the others are there to haul them forward and remind them what they’re doing.

They have car keys in hand, and they might not know how to drive but fuck it they need to go, so bring on the dramatic dark lighting and wild driving and many bumpy, jerky, shit-we-almost-ran-over-something-important escapades, sirens closing in behind them and then he takes a wrong turn and stares wide eyed into the headlights of an incoming truck, flinches back, eyes slaming shut and-

Silence broken only by crashing waves. Insert Santa Monica scene after slightly hysterical laughter because holy fuck they survived.

… Um, yeah soz, idk where that came from lmao.

Moving on! So, I didn’t mind them getting Hermes’ car too much. Like, hell yes she pickpockets a god. But I didn’t like the way that Annabeth got the keys. Like, he’s the God of Thieves and she’s pretty smart. No way she wouldn’t realise that he let her take them.

A way to make it better would’ve been if he’d done some subtle shit, and she’d done some subtle shit, and then it was shown with some shots that here he puts his keys in this pocket, and then a few shots later maybe she brushes past him, or she “leaves” the room but you can fuzzily see pot plant leaves moving in the background if you know to look for it, and then boom, no more keys in his pocket, and when Percy catches up with her she reveals that Hermes let her take them, and we’re like “ahh, of course, can’t help directly but isn’t stopping them if they take initiative, cool cool.”

But nope. She got they keys, thinks she somehow stole them without his knowledge, and then it’s revealed that, duh, he knew, and they’re just like, welp, guess we should’ve known! Yeah. You should’ve. Annabeth is just- not? She’s just not? Like this? This isn’t how she would- do stuff. She’s smarter than that.

But see what I mean? No tension. Need to find Hermes, oh there he is. He won’t help them, but they got his keys. Lost Grover, but found him almost right away. Don’t know how to drive, but whatever lets go. Grover lost his memory, but nah he’s got it back just fine.

Yeahhh. Idk it just felt weirdly lacking.

What also felt weirdly lacking was the reveal that the Solstice has passed and the gods are going to war.

So, most of that underwater bit wasn’t how the books went, but I’m kinda withholding judgement on how I feel depending on how the next two episodes handle it.

The deadline being up and the gods already going to war? I don’t like it, but yeah, I can see how it might work with the themes laid out.

This isn’t just a war, it’s a family fighting, and instead of Percy just doing it because it’s The Quest, this - his father releasing him from the quest, and Ares telling him it doesn’t matter and they’d go to war regardless of it the Bolt is found, and everyone saying it’s not his place - it gives Percy agency because he’s choosing to forge ahead and save his mother, and find the bolt, and save this family he’s become a part of from itself. It’s his choice now. I can see why they made that change.

Though for some reason the pacing was weird, and the reveal that war was literally upon them was… eh? Like, “oh btw you’re too late and now we’re going to war.” “Huh, interesting, but I’m still going.” Like I said; lack of tension. There’s just no real urgency. It went really fast, or maybe too slow? Idk, there was just something missing.

The four pearls thing? I was very thrown by that, and I’m still pretty uncertain on if that’ll remove all the tension in the Underworld part. Because the whole conflict is if he’ll choose going after the Bolt and saving the Olympians? Or will he choose his mother and doom them to war?

If he has four pearls, then he can do both, which means zero stakes. But I’ve read some other people’s opinions, and I agree that one of those pearls is definitely getting lost/broken/used up before he can give it to her, which means this was done to raise hopes and then bring them crashing down, so I’m withholding judgement and hoping that it won’t be too contrived.

And I don’t like that Poseidon basically says he wants Percy to save Sally too, because a huge part of Percy’s dilemma was that the gods didn’t understand or agree with Percy wanting to save his mum.

Poseidon being on Percy’s side certainly serves the themes the episode set up, with Hermes wanting to be there for his family and failing, this time with Poseidon trying to be there for Percy and Sally, and hopefully succeeding. But it just feels like Percy isn’t as alone as he should be, which is good for him as a person, but bad from a writing standpoint because it makes it feel too easy.

In the books, it’s kinda an act of rebellion, that he would even think of choosing a mortal over the gods, but here he’s… not? Because the gods - or at least Hephestus, Hermes and Poseidon - are on his side. So he’s not choosing a mortal over the gods, he’s just saving his mum, and half the gods have given him the thumbs up to do it.

Not saying they weren’t secretly supporting him in the books too, but Percy didn’t think they were. He felt alone. He felt the pressure of the consequences that would come with whatever descision he made. In the show he’s not really going against the gods, because the gods are actively endorsing him. Which means, say it with me, no tension.

Anyway, like I said: withholding judgment. I'll see how the next ones go, and then come to a proper conclusion based on a complete picture.

Also, side note: When the nereid said, “What belongs to the sea can always return” all I was thinking was the musical and Poseidon’s goofy ass voice saying “It’s a SeAShElL” 😂

Oh and btw, the graphics/makeup/cgi of the nereid was well done to my untrained eye. I have no idea about how it’s done, or if it’s actually shitty in the professional sphere, but I thought it was pretty, so- thumbs up from me.

Though the whole scene at the beach and swimming to her was so dark I literally had to turn my tv’s brightness up to see what was happening, which I also had to do with the Theme Park last episode, and I almost did with the Minatour. Man, they really have a problem with lighting during the night scenes.

But just throughout the whole episode, there's just this feeling of non-urgency. Like, in the episode where time is the most important thing, it... doesn't really feel like it matters all that much.

Um, yeah. I think that was all I wanted to say…

In conclusion, I liked Hermes, aaand not much else. It was still a fun episode, but just all round pretty iffy plot wise. Rip.

I shall leave this with saying WE FINALLY GOT WISE GIRL!! 🥳

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo episode 6 #spoilers #essay #rambles #my posts #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #hermes #long post #poseidon #percabeth #writing #analysis #sorry for any typos

[scarfwrites]

Hihiii firstly I just wanna say that I love your writing i like how immersing it can get sometimes and just how it hits the feel idk how to explain it other than that so uh... right I just wanna ask if you could write iwaizumi x reader where the reader has this overprotective friend or sibling (idk you choose) and the overprotective friend/sibling just trys break up iwaizumi and the reader at the start but in the end they just end up supporting them basically overprotective friend/sibling with a twist ig? Maybe angsty at the start? I would love to see if you could do this ❤️ and even if you cant its ok and again love your writing I personally liked "Sunshine on Valentines Day" and also hated it cus it made me feel lonely after 😭 (not trying to guilt trip you or anything just really love your work!)

(May or May not be new to tumblr)

A Promise to Keep

❅Genre : Fluff, Crack, Comfort, Angst

❅Pairings:  Iwaizumi x Reader

❅Warnings: Vulgar language, mentions of cheating, mentions of toxic relationship (NOT WITH IWAIZUMI)

❅ Summary : You were worried that your parents would disapprove of your new boyfriend Iwaizumi. You should’ve worried about someone else though

❅A/N : Sorry if it was late! I was working on some other fics. Thank you so much for those kind words! I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart💙💙💙. I do my best making sure my readers feel immersed into the writing 😊😊😊. Ngl this idea popped into my to write list and I enjoyed finally making it though it was pretty challenging. Thank you again for enjoying my writing. It makes me really happy! I used the term nee-chan which is used for girls (since i couldn’t remember if there’s a neutral term for older sibling in japanese) however y/n is gender neutral

“Nervous?” You asked looking at Iwaizumi

“Yeah, but you look more nervous than I am” Iwaizumi chuckled emphasising that your hand gripping his hand firmly

Today was the day Iwaizumi would finally meet your family. Aside from the normal nervousness one would have of what their parents would think of your parents, your last relationship was pretty bad to say the least so you expect your parents to be more “cautious” this time around.

“Oh! Sorry!” You relax your grip on his hand “I mean you already know the reason why I’d be worried” You spoke softly as you look down

“Don’t worry I’ll make a great impression on them” he gives you a soft yet reassuring smile

“I know you will” you smile back gratefully “I’m sure they’ll love you! You’ve all the qualities of a great boyfriend!” You tried encouraging yourself making Iwaizumi chuckle

“We’ll get through this together okay?” Iwaizumi held your hand more firmly as you gave him a nod

You took a breath before you rang the doorbell. You hear your younger brother informing your parents that someone was here. After a few moments you hear the door lock open as the wave of nervousness comes back crashing in. The door opens and you see your mother.

“Oh it’s just you Y/N!” Your mom gives you a big hug as you did the same before letting go

“I’d like you and dad to meet someone” you said with nervousness as Iwaizumi waves

“Oh! Y/N you should’ve told me you were bringing someone home!” Your mother lightly scolds “Come in!” She opens the door as you both walk in

“Nee-chan!” Your younger brother tackles you as you pull him up “Gasp! Is this who i think it is?” your brother looks at you with a knowing smile 

“Mhmm” you nod as his face widens in excitement

“Hi!” Your brother wiggles his way out of your grasp and runs towards Iwaizumi as he holds him in his arms “You’re nee-chan’s boyfriend right?” your brother whispered his question whilst Iwaizumi lifts him off the ground

“Has she told you about me?” Iwaizumi smiled at the young boy as he responds with an excited nod making your boyfriend chuckle

“I’m on your side” he whispered on Iwaizumi’s ear “If you make my nee-chan happy then I’m happy” He gave your boyfriend the brightest smile making his heart swell at your brother’s adorableness

“Thanks little buddy” Iwaizumi smiled back to your younger brother the pet name making him smile even more

“I really like him!” Your brother looks to you as you smile at him

“Everyone! Dinner’s ready!” Your mother calls out

Iwaizumi puts your brother down and as he gets down he dashes towards the living room.

“ Well I’ve got one” Iwaizumi chuckled as he looked at you

“Well he’s known from the start and it isn’t that hard to convince him” you chuckled back as the both of you walk to the dining room

After a while everyone gathers to the dining room and takes a seat

“You’re lucky we had just enough dinner for everyone” here your mother chuckled “You should’ve told me that you were bringing someone along! I would’ve loved to treat him with my signature dish” your mother rambled

“Do you like tofu?” Your younger brother looked at Iwaizumi as he ate a portion of tofu

“Yeah, it’s part of my favourite food” Iwaizumi smiled to your younger brother as he gasped

“Really? It’s my favourite too!” Your brother exclaimed excitedly “Nee-chan I like your friend a lot!” Your brother gave you a happy smile putting you at ease from the awkwardness

“Speaking of which” your father cleared his throat “You mind introducing us to your friend?” your father looked at you then at Iwaizumi

“Oh right! This is Iwaizumi” you introduced as Iwaizumi waved “He’s uh my friend” you mumbled

“I see…” your father spoke quietly making you nervous “Seems more than that” your father looked at your hands slightly touching as you both blush

“Right! He’s… he’s my boyfriend” you looked away bashfully as your father took a sip from his tea however you feel your older brother’s intense stare looking right at you

“I see…” He said once again sipping more from his tea

“It’s been awhile since you brought someone here” your older brother stated coldly

“Well, I’d like to get a proper introduction to your boyfriend” your mother looks at you “To get to know him of course” you mother reassured you with a smile

“Well… We go to the same school, we’re in the same class, we’ve known each other for a while-” you explained but you were interrupted by your younger brother

“Yeah! He’s on their volleyball team! He plays their ace! His spikes are amazing!” Your brother’s eyes sparkled in excitement explaining everything he knew as all of you look at him

“Someone sure knows a lot” your father chuckled at your brother’s excitement

“I’ve seen him on TV before!” Your brother eagerly said“Oh oh and! He’s super serious when it comes to talking to his team and he looks super scary but he’s super sweet to his fans especially to Y/N!” Your brother continued to explain making Iwaizumi blush red at his last statement

“He sounds like a wonderful person” your mother smiled at you making you smile back nervously

“Yeah yeah yeah! He's a total gentleman and-” Your brother was about to enthusiastically share more though your older brother interrupted him

“I think that’s enough for now” your older brother nudged the younger child as he stopped

“Thank you” you whispered giving him a thumbs up as he gave one back

“From the looks of it, he sounds like a responsible and kind young man” your mother spoke as she ate her soup

“I like the athletic types, strong enough to keep someone like my child protected” your father said “Am I right?” Your father looked at Iwaizumi 

“Yes sir” Iwaizumi nodded

“Is that a yes?” You hid your excitement asking both of your parents

“If he can keep that promise then I’m fine with your relationship” your father stated 

“If our little boy is that enthusiastic about everything he says, I’m sure i need not to worry with such a responsible man” your mother gave the both of you an approving nod

“I’m sure this one would have a lot to say if we objected” your father chuckled as you all looked at your younger brother who was trying to hide his excitement

“Yay! You’re part of our family now!” Your younger brother got of his seat and gave Iwaizumi a big hug

“You just gonna let them off like that?” Your older brother interjected as you sighed “You just trust everything they say?” Your brother scowled making your younger brother pout

“The description your brother gave fits” your mother responded “he’s sitting here very well mannered and even brought us a gift” your mother said as your older brother scoffed

“Yeah! Stop being such a Debbie Downer!” your younger brother’s pout turns into a very angry scowl

“You think I’m being a Debbie Downer?” Your brother stated coldly as he stood up from the table with rage “Stop being so delusional! Don’t you remember how broken they were with that last son of a bitch who came here!” Your brother’s voice seethed with rage as you slowly signalled Iwaizumi to leave

“Y/N are you sure-” Iwaizumi said but was soon interrupted by you insisting on him leaving

“You don’t know that!” You yell at your brother “You know nothing! You barely even talked to him let alone know what he’s like!” you continue to berate your brother as he grit his teeth 

“As if we can trust your judgement” he crossed his arms “Who knows you might’ve broughten a cheating scumbag back into our house” he glared at you as you clench your jaw to stop yourself from crying

“Watch your mouth when you talk to your siblings like that” your father interjected as your brother scoffed and stomped back to his room 

“Sorry about him” your mother sighed as your younger brother asked for you to pick him up

“Don’t be sad nee-chan!” Your brother gave you a comforting hug

“Thank you” you hug him back tightly

“I’ll be sure to give him a piece of my mind later” your father huffed as your mother patted his shoulder

“Let’s not worsen the situation” she spoke “Don’t mind him Y/N, we both trust you” your mother gave a comforting smile as you smiled back softly

“ Thanks, I should check on Hajime though” you said as you walk to the door as you open it you see Iwaizumi sitting on the ledge of the porch

“Can’t say he still won’t bother us anymore” you sighed as you sat with him

“Sorry about all this” Iwaizumi frowned slightly

“It’s okay! He’s always like that!” Your brother spoke up as he sat in between both of you “He’s always so grumpy when it comes to y/n and me” your brother pouted as he laid his head on Iwaizumi’s lap making him chuckle slightly

“He’s just overprotective of us” you commented “But sometimes it feels too overbearing of him” you sighed tiredly

“It’s okay! You can get through it together!” your brother stood up and hugged you both tightly together

“Thank you buddy” Iwaizumi smiled

You were glad at least your parents were on your side. You understood why your brother was like that as he just wanted to protect you. Though you won’t let him bother you or Iwaizumi. You knew better than him that he’d never leave you broken-hearted. Unbeknownst to you your brother was already plotting something.

“Nee-chan! Are you gonna visit your boyfriend?” Your brother ran towards you as you were about to leave your house

“Yeah! His team’s been working very hard so I made them lunch!” You smiled as your brother looked at the neatly made bento boxes you were carrying 

“Can I come? Please!” Your brother said with his puppy eyes making you giggle

“C’mon let’s go!” You said as he jumped in joy

As you both walked towards the gym you weren’t surprised to see Oikawa’s fangirls waiting at the door for the brunette. You paid no mind to them and opened the gymnasium door. As you opened the door you saw a girl talking to Hajime and Oikawa holding something. You observed the girl give Iwaizumi a box of something then she proceeded to run off past you outside the gymnasium.

“Who was that?” You asked Iwaizumi as you both walk over to him

“I think she was a fan” Iwaizumi replied as he examined the box

“Hey who’s this?” Oikawa kneeled down at your brother holding your hand

“I’m y/n’s brother!” Your brother waved excitedly

“Did you come here to see me?” Oikawa smirked as Iwaizumi rolled his eyes

“Are you Oikawa?” Your brother tilted your head

“Yeah! You must know all about me!” Oikawa laughed to himself

“You’re Shittykawa!” Your brother said excitedly making you and Oikawa’s eyes widen whilst the whole team and Iwaizumi hold in their laughter

“Don’t say that!” You scold as your face flushes with embarrassment whilst your brother looked at you with confusion

“Who told you to say that?” Oikawa asked trying to hold back his anger 

“I heard Iwa-chan say that!” Your brother pointed at Iwaizumi

“How could you teach a child to say that!” Oikawa yelled at Iwaizumi making him roll his eyes

“It’s true though” Iwaizumi shrugged off

“Nevermind all that! Nee-chan made food for all of you!” Your brother exclaimed as you show the boxes of bento

“Woah really?” Makki walked over to you looking at the bento boxes you were carrying

“Yeah I made it for all of you” you smiled

“I was just getting hungry, thanks Y/N” Iwaizumi smiled back

“Thank you Y/N!” The team bowed in gratitude as you handed over the bento boxes

“Hey little guy, why don’t you watch us play volleyball after we eat” Oikawa suggested to your brother 

“Can I?” Your brother looked at you with pleading eyes

“You have a curfew though” you teased making your brother pout

“C’mon Y/N” Oikawa pestered as you chuckled

“Alright fine” you said as your brother jumped in joy

“Can you teach me how to play?” your brother asked excitedly

“Yeah! We’ll teach you everything” Makki smiled “But you don’t wanna learn from Oikawa, we call him Shittykawa for a reason” he whispered

“I heard that!” Oikawa yelled as Makki brushed him off

You were overjoyed seeing your brother having fun with the whole team. You wondered how everyone could deal with how much energy he was outputting.

“Someone’s having a lot of fun” Iwaizumi commented looking at your brother trying to serve

“Hopefully he doesn’t turn out like Oikawa” you chuckled as you looked at him to see the box still wrapped “Why haven’t you opened the box yet?” You tilt your head

“Oh, I forgot” Iwaizumi said as he grabbed the box and opened it revealing  chocolates and other goodies inside

“It’s all Godzilla themed” you examined the box

“Yeah, I wonder how she’d know I don’t exactly tell anyone about it” Iwaizumi pondered

“Your phone case tells otherwise” you giggle showing him his phone as he blushed

“Iwaizumi got a fan! That's a first” Makki when over to the both of you “Usually Oikawa’s the only one with fans” Makki sat down next to both of you

“Y/N’s sitting right there” Matsun chuckled

“It doesn’t count if they’re dating though” Makki responded

“Well, I’ll always be his number one fan!” you hugged Iwaizumi

“Nee-chan look! I can do a serve now!” He tried to serve but it only ended up hitting Oikawa making the team laugh “Oops sorry!” He tried helping Oikawa up

“We need to work on that” Oikawa said slightly dazed

You slightly disliked the idea of fangirls giving your boyfriend gifts, however you knew that he was bound to have fans being the ace of the team so you understand. It’d be fine if it was different girls giving him gifts but the same girl kept giving him gifts every single day. Each gift had something that not alot of people knew about which slightly made you uncomfortable. You tried to pay no mind to it but that same girl kept bothering Iwaizumi trying to get all his attention, even when he tries to tell her to lay off gently she doesn’t get the hint.

“Are you okay Y/N-chan?” Oikawa asked you as the both of you walked to the gymnasium

“Huh? Yeah…” you spoke 

“Is it about that one girl bothering Iwa-chan?” He asked looking at you

“N-no what makes you say that?” You tried to hide your jealousy making Oikawa chuckle

“It’s written all on your face Y/N, you’re cleary bothered by it” Oikawa pointed at your discomforted face making you sigh

“I appreciate that he has fans, I mean he’s always been insecure about being in the shadow but…” you spoke looking down

“But you don’t want them to be all touchy and grabby with him, am I right?” Oikawa guessed as you nodded “I understand I mean he did try to let her off gently but she still persists” Oikawa sighed in annoyance

“I don’t wanna make it seem like he can’t hang out with other people or have fans but… It makes me feel bad about myself” you expressed your turmoil

“Hey, it’s alright to be jealous! You can’t control how you feel” Oikawa gave you a smile of reassurance “Don't feel bad about yourself! Iwa-chan would never replace you, especially if it’s a pick me like her!” Oikawa encouraged making you smile

“You seem bothered by a fan that’s a first” you chuckled

“If it was my own fan I wouldn’t really care but if it’s bothering my best friend’s significant other! It bothers me too!” Oikawa smiled at you

“Thank you Shittykawa” you teased as he frowned

“Hey! I just gave you kind words!” Where’s my thanks He crossed his arms making you laugh more

“You’re right, I’m sure it’ll all blow over” you said as you open the gymnasium door

“Something wrong, Iwaizumi?” Makki asked putting all his stuff down on the bleachers

“The girl who comes here everyday she won’t leave me alone” Iwaizumi replied with an annoyed expression plastered on his face

“Oh the one giving you gifts?” Makki asked to which Iwaizumi nods “I can see why” Makki chuckled

“She’s more annoying than the fans Oikawa always has outside the gym” Iwaizumi huffed making the pink haired boy laugh

“It makes you wonder how Oikawa can bask in all their attention” Matsun chuckled as he interjected

“I really wouldn’t care if it wasn’t bothering Y/N” Iwaizumi sat down placing his hand on his forehead “They don’t wanna admit it but it’s clearly bothering them alot” he continued

“You told her to lay off already right?” Makki asked as he sat down with Iwaizumi

“Hundreds of times” Iwaizumi responded “I even told her straight up when we were alone” he let out a sigh of frustration

“She sounds super obsessed” Matsun added

“What if someone’s paying her to do that?” Makki suggested “I mean not even Oikawa’s fans are that obsessed with him” Makki placed his hand on his chin

“You know… that might be it” Iwaizumi thought

As you opened the door you felt your life flash before your eyes. You and Oikawa saw the girl leaning into Iwaizumi sharing a kiss. Your eyes start brimming in tears feeling overwhelmed at what you were seeing. Iwaizumi pushed her off, his eyes widened looking at you. You couldn’t bear the sight anymore so you ran away to compose yourself. Oikawa catches up to you and held you to stop you from running

“Y/N! Listen to me!” Oikawa holds you tighter as you try to get out from his grasp “We both know Iwa-chan would never hurt you!” He reasoned with you stopping you from moving as tears fell from your cheeks

“I know but… It still hurts…” You continued to cry as Oikawa rubbed your back

“Hey, c’mon let’s just hear him out this could all be one big misunderstanding” Oikawa held you up as Iwaizumi catches up to both of you

“Y/N I can explain she forced herself-” Iwaizumi was cut of by your tight hug

“I knew you wouldn’t do that but I guess my insecurities took over” you explained nestling your head in his chest

“I’d never do that to you… I won’t ever treat you the way that bastard treated you…” Iwaizumi hugged you back “I made a promise to your little brother after all” he smiled at you

“He’s a little guy but he’s pretty scary” Oikawa chuckled

“I can’t disappoint my little buddy” Iwaizumi chuckled along “Anyway I think I know what’s going on” Iwaizumi said as you and Oikawa look in confusion

Iwaizumi explained how the girl admitted she was being paid by someone for doing all this. You instantly knew who would do this so you stormed back to your house as quickly as possible.

“Oh y/n you’re home early!” Your mother smiled but soon faltered seeing your serious face

“Oikawa and Iwa-chan!” Your younger brother runs up to the both of them

“I think now’s not the time” Oikawa chuckled nervously as he picked up your brother “Why don’t Iwa-chan and I go play outside and teach you how to play more volleyball” “Oikawa takes him to the backyard as he squealed in joy

“What’s going on?” your mother asked confused

“Where’s b/n?” You inquired with a serious tone ignoring your mother’s question

“Right here” your brother said walking down the stairs “I see you’ve brought him again” your brother glared looking at Iwaizumi and Oikawa playing with your little brother outside

“Trust me he isn't your biggest problem right now” you scowled “How could you pay a girl to ruin my relationship with Hajime!” You accused making your brother scoff while your mother widens her eyes

“I want an explanation now!” Your mother looked at your brother with an angered expression

“Wow, accusing me now? I told you your new relationship would make you more delusional than you already are!” He rolled his eyes making you laugh

“I’m delusional? You’re the delusional one if you think you can pay a girl to make him do the same exact mistake as my ex did!” You argued back “You don’t need to hide it, she fessed up already!” you continued to yell angrily

“So what if I did huh? It won’t be a matter of time till he does that to you!” Your brother confessed still trying to defend himself making you more angry

“You don’t know that! You don’t know anything!” You yelled as you started tearing up 

“Why don't you listen to me!” He yelled back as your mother tried to come both of you down “I don’t want you to end up like that again! It was my fault why you were like that in the first place! I can’t let you feel that way again knowing I didn’t do anything to stop it!” He explained as his eyes glistened with tears making your expression soften

“I know you want to protect me but… I’m sure that he wouldn’t do that to me… He was there for me when it happened, he was the one who was with me the entire way and was helping me get through it” you explained as your brothers eyes widened “Honestly I don’t think I would’ve been able to get through it if it weren’t for him” you smiled reminiscing at the thought “He already showed it to me today how he’d never do that to me from how you staged everything… I know you want to protect me but I know for sure he would never do that” you looked at your brother eyes “So please… give him a chance” you asked with pleading eyes as he wiped away his tears

“Don’t blame yourself hun” your mother comforted your brother “It was completely out of your control and you didn’t know that it would turn out like that…” your mother hugged your brother “If you give them a chance you’re already protecting Y/N by allowing a responsible young man to be by their side” your mother continued

“Yeah! And he promised he’d never hurt Y/N!” your brother interjected walking inside

“Sorry, we heard all the fighting from the inside and the little guy couldn’t contain himself” Oikawa scratched the back of his head

“Please give them a chance! Let Y/N start over happy! We all want that for them right?” Your younger brother pleaded 

“Alright, I’ll take your word Y/N…” your older brother agreed, making your younger brother jump in joy “Sorry Iwaizumi for all this and what I’ve put you both through… I understand if you won’t forgive me” he scratched the back of his head

“It’s alright we both want to protect her” Iwaizumi smiled accepting your brother’s apology

“Okay! No more fighting! It’s so tiring” your brother huffed as you picked him up

“Don’t worry we’re all tired too” you smiled kissing his cheek

“Let’s go play more volleyball” your brother exclaimed

“I thought you said you were exhausted” Oikawa chuckled

“Nope! I wanna play!” Your brother said making you all laugh

“Why don’t I teach you how to spike?” Iwaizumi offered making you smile seeing your younger brother’s joyed expression

“All's well that ends well” you smiled sighing in relief

I was so immersed with this one the argument and the "cheating" hit my heart 😭😭😭 Thank you so much for requesting this again! This was a banger 50th post!

#iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #iwaizumi fic #haikyuu angst #iwaizumi fanfic #haikyuu x you #iwaizumi angst

[playertwotails]

This scene from issue 36 lives rent free in my head at all times. Sonic is really put between a rock and a hard place cause either take care of avalanche and save a building full of people (including some of his friends) or his save his little brother.

But can we talk about how loaded that “you’d better” is. Or at least my interpretation of it. Cause I think that’s not just directed at Tails but everyone there within earshot and means something different to everyone.

Starting with Tails - Sonic is reluctant to leave and doesn’t do so till he has confirmation from Tails that he’ll be okay. He trusts Tails judgement and is why he’s okay immediately leaving to stop the avalanche and not taking any extra time to try and save him. But that doesn’t mean he’s not worried about Tails. That “you’d better” is him telling Tails that - yeah I trust your call on this but if anything happens to you I’m gonna be upset with you (not mad like actually angry but that anger that comes from worry).

To Starline - that line is a threat. That’s Sonic saying “fuck around and find out” to Starline. If anything happens to Tails, Sonic will be coming after him so he’d better watch it. 

For Shadow and Rouge - he’s basically telling them “ya’ll better take care of my little brother or we will be having some problems” He’s telling them he’s leaving Tails in their hands so they’d better watch out for him and save him cause Sonic’s trusting them with this.

And to himself - Sonic is basically saying that if something happens to Tails because he left him there to go save everyone else he will never forgive himself for it. Sonic’s saying “you’d better be okay cause I don’t know what I’ll do if you aren’t.”

Idk just thinking about this again and just how worried Sonic looks in that last panel. Also how Tails pretty much reassures him here that going to save those people is what Sonic needs to go do and go do NOW, but Tails also understands how conflicted this would make Sonic so he let’s him know it’ll be okay even if he leaves. Tails knows that if something happens him, Rouge or those people even if Sonic was put an in impossible situation, if something goes wrong Sonic will 100% blame himself. He’s trying to negate some of that guilt so if something does happen he’s the one that told Sonic to go, Sonic didn’t just leave him. (plus Tails is his own little badass, he has Rouge who’s just as cunning as him and Shadow is right there and pissed at Starline so odds are in their favor) But this is all just how I read it.

#sonic idw spoilers #sonic idw issue 36 #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #tails the fox #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #dr starline #sonic had to make a choice and just hopes it's one he won't regret #also love tails just being so supportive of sonic even when he's in danger #idk got off my shift a work and this has been in my head all day #if it's a little jumbled sorry 10 hours shifts of just paperwork will make a persons brain an little mushy

[lucillele]

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞

Shuri x Black!fem!reader

Inspired by Love Language by SZA

warning: sappy stuff, angsty in the beginning

A/N: thank you @szalipcombo for giving me something to write and another song in my 61 hour playlist 🤧🤧 also ahh 42 followers 😆😆 i like this one but at the time I feel sort insecure about idk

Having lonely days and nights had unfortunately become an average day for you with Shuri not sticking around long in the mornings, if she even made it to bed that night, and maybe coming home to sleep for a few hours. You couldn’t blame her with all the events that had happened between Namor’s attack and her becoming the black panther but ever since you hadn’t been getting as much attention.

It got to the point where you would lay on her side when she wasn’t there or wear her clothes just to feel closer to her. She still told you how she loved you and how grateful she was for you in the moments that she was able to be with you. However, she had been quiet and closed off lately which again you couldn’t blame her for but you were starting to get desperate. Sometimes you went into the lab just to watch her in her element and left before she caught you knowing she probably knew you were there anyway with her now enhanced senses.

It was one of the rare nights that Shuri came home early enough to catch you awake. She had to come home because of how exhausted she was and basically collapsed into bed the moment she came in. She woke up a few hours later, around 3 am, surprised to see you awake. “Y/N?” She said, rubbing her eyes while turning to face you who was reading a book. You hummed in response instantly putting all of your focus on Shuri. “What are you doing up?” She said, sitting up a bit. “I just wanted to finish this book.” You said, doing your best to conceal the fact that you were lying. She already had a lot to deal with and you didn’t want to add more on top of it.

She gave you a stern look knowing you were lying and took the book out of your hands and set it on the bedside table. She turned to you, expecting an answer. “I know you love me and I’m not trying to make it seem like you don’t..but I want you to show me. I mean, I barely see you anymore. I come to the lab and sometimes I just watch you. I just…I want you to be around.” You said, biting your lip and avoiding her eyes in slight embarrassment for your glorified way of saying ‘I want attention’ and slightly stalkerish confession. There was a small moment of silence as Shuri thought for a bit. “You know that you can tell me anything right? And even if you don’t want to, I’m still here.” You said, grabbing her hand and giving it a slight squeeze making Shuri instantly pull you on top of her into a hug. She had been feeling her guilt build up every day not just over not spending time with you but with the death of her family and the attack on Wakanda. Still, she refused to talk about it or think about it and focus on the work that needed to be done and shut you out but oh how she wanted to hold you and for you to hold her and to tell you everything. She was hoping one day she would have the courage to come clean with you but you beat her to it.

You stayed like this for a good minute with Shuri rubbing circles on your back until she responded to your earlier confession. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, I do love you. More than you know.. I just have a lot to do and a lot to…heal from.” She said, now rubbing up and down your back while you completely relaxed in her arms. “I know but don’t feel like you have to rush for me.” You said, tilting your head to look up at her. “It’s no excuse. I want to be honest with you like you are with me. I promise I’ll do better.” She said, giving you a forehead kiss.

“You know what you could do?” You said, looking up at her. “What?” She said, thinking you were being serious. “I think you should get more than 5 hours of sleep.” You said with a bright smile that lightened up the mood, making her look away from you because she knew you were right. “I don’t think that will be possible.” She said, looking at the time. “Just sleep in, besides you have to make it up to me and we need to catch up.” You said, rolling off of her and cuddling into her side. Her face dropped to look at you with a deadpan look. “What does that mean?” Shuri asked sitting up more but you dragged her back down closer to you. “Don’t worry about it, baby.” You said, turning around before looking back which was your infamous sign to let her know that you wanted her to be the big spoon.

“You’re not making me feel better about it.” She said, chuckling. “Never said I would.” You said. You assumed she finally settled down to go to sleep as her arms moved around your waist only to be surprised when you felt her fingers tickle your sides. As you laughed your heart out, Shuri couldn’t help cheesing at hearing your laugh and seeing you smile so much. It didn’t take long for you to fold and apologize, making Shuri happily oblige. “Goodnight, my love.” She said giving you a cheek kiss and pulling the cover on the top of the two of you “Goodnight.” You mumbled, satisfied with how everything went.

#shuri udaku x reader #shuri x black!reader #shuri x y/n #shuri x you #mcu fanfiction #shuri fanfiction #shuri fluff #shuri x reader #marvel fic #shuri fic

[familyagrestefanblog]

About recent takes of Félix’ father vs Gabriel, Félix’ guilt in “Emotion” & How the amok- child abuse of Adrien works (part 0.1 lol)

Just to make this clear right from the get-go (although is sad that such disclaimers need to be made again): No, this is not written as a Félix Defense Post, this is me writing out my analysis’ and other thoughts regarding way too much out-of-context stuff from “Emotion” and the one big confirmation of Félix’ indeed BEING an abuse victim from leaks which I will only incorrperate as vague concept since tbh I dont remember details and I’m not seeking it out for this.

Aright? Let’s go!

Where is all this stuff about Félix’ father coming from? Are those from even more leaks? From what I have seen in leaks of Félix saying something about the parenting he received I too got my confirmation that Félix’ father was abusive, but where is this coming from that Colt Fathom was alot WORSE than Gabriel?

In my opinion, that directly contradicts Félix’ attitude in “Emotion”. Who knows what exactly happened before that episode, though at the very least Félix most likely knows now that Adrien is Chat Noir and thats what made such a massive difference in him:

Also there was this out-of-nowhere second carmoflaged Black Cat-like ring Félix used as amok object that looked exactly like Adrien’s, although we see later that Adrien is still wearing his? That element of the episode was ridiculously out of context, but Félix’ knowing now that Adrien is Chat Noir makes its existence and the episode overall make alot more sense in my opinion.

Its basically the only way I can properly explain anything Félix-related that happened in “Emotion”, down to his behavior when he mentioned Chat Noir towards Ladybug:

Or the way Argos straight up refused to try and take Ladybug’s Miraculous away from her by his own force. He only asked/ threatened her to surrender her earrings to him but he never went further than that. In fact, her calmly stating that she would never give him her Miraculous was what set Félix over the edge in frustration, because he knew thats IT now. Taking it from her forcefully would mean she would speak up against him when he brings Adrien back (to get the Black Cat miraculous and because Félix WANTS him by his side on good terms), but he cant snap the girl behind the mask away either or else Adrien would see him as nothing but a villain if Félix only has her earrings but SHE is gone.

If Ladybug doesnt surrender her Miraculous and remains there to ensure with her words that Adrien too should give Félix his miraculous, where at that point Félix has the chance of explaining his plan to his cousin that noone is gone for real and he just wants to create a better world for them- which in Félix’ mind lead to a scenario in which he’s not the bad guy. Look, the boy knows he, Adrien and Kagami belong to a race of enslaved magical beings and are at the mercy of tyrannical abusers (Dude, what a sentence!). I’m not expecting rationality from Félix Fathom at this point. He was still 100% the bad guy in this, but I get it.

Also Fuck u Gloob, how dare YOU leave me without actual context for this shit?? xD)

But even without that... explanation-theory of mine, in episode 18 all I can see is Félix acting on SO MUCH god damn guilt towards Adrien and trying to free him from Gabriel. He literally states he tried to succeed in this episode for ADRIEN:

Then regarding Colt Fathom’s parenting again: when Félix confronts Gabriel about how Gabriel uses them, his family, he does not treat his uncle as a lesser monster than the one Félix (may have? Idk?) known as a father:

Félix went to the upmost extreme methods to get rid of Gabriel in this episode. He sees his uncle as nothing short of a tyrannical monster that needs to get taken out with a literal SNAP so Gabriel has no opportunity to stop him and be remade with a reality changing wish.

But most importantly, when Félix called Gabriel out he named ADRIEN first:

This was NOT Félix only doing it for himself and those are also not the actions and words of a person who views Gabriel as LESS of a dangerous tyrant bc of his own father. No matter how bad Colt Fathom was, Félix is not underestimating his uncle as the madman that he is. At least not ANYMORE!

Not in a single second of “Emotion” do I get the impression that Félix has NOT finally understood in what horrible position Adrien is caught in in Gabriel’s grasp (more on this regard for the Diamond Ball in an upcoming post I’ll link HERE). Which, yes, Félix too partly caused through the s4 finale. This is most likely why he goes to such insane lenghts to try to save Adrien.

Félix feels fucking GUILTY now in hindsight for having sold the one amok ring of his cousin he already had safe and sound in his possession back to Gabriel, along with 15 more miraculous’ to make him even MORE dangerous:

Which btw, GOOD!!! He should!

Anyway. While I dont understand where these takes about how much worse Colt Fathom was to Félix than Gabriel to Adrien come from, that claim does seems to be very accurate though to Félix’ point of view of Adrien’s abuse BEFORE season 5. Hence why he was being so god damn awful to his cousin and SOLD HIM TO HIS ABUSER!

The way I see it right now, Colt Fathom was abusive on Gabriel Agreste’s level but he did it in ways more open and “obvious”.

Gabriel is an extremely abusive father, but the worst thing about him has always been that he abuses Adrien in a way for which people cannot easily get him for it. Sure, there has always been ALOT to worry about under the circumstances after Emilie “died” but Gabriel Agreste has always made sure whatever he does to his son he remains untouchable enough from a normal legal perspective.

I’m not sure if child protection services could ever have actually helped Adrien even if they tried, because while Gabriel has been stretching all lines of possible slack problematic parents are being given - because the child cant nor SHOULD immediately be taken away from their parent if not truly necessary - Gabriel has never made.. that ONE slip-up too much and too out-of-line that could set Adrien free from him.

And in my opinion, thats what the show is going for because thats what Félix realized at some point prior to episode 18 about Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien and Adrien’s own behavior towards his father, for which Félix gave him massive shit for just last season:

Félix made a full-blown 180 regarding Adrien, thats the only way I can explain it.

Its GUILT. Guilt and the desperate attempt to save his cousin from the horrible consequences Félix had a HUGE part in unleashing and to be able to somehow manage to somewhat save the strong and basically brother-like bond he and Adrien once had as cousins.

And I dont care what anyone says, its by far the one bond Adrien has with anyone besides Plagg in which he’s literally 100% his authentic self and not any degree of Adrien Agreste™ or Chat Noir™. Seriously, if you wanna see Adrien behaving like nothing but a normal boy, watch him interact with his cousin who’s basically his BROTHER.

And it doesnt even matter how much of a damn dick Félix became, in any interaction these two had in the show you could easily SEE how close these two were/are from Adrien’s behavior. Which btw, makes Félix actions before s5 alot worse, but thats the point. This is WHY he goes as far as he does in “Emotion”. Because they once HAD such an incredibly close bond as Adrien’s “naively trusting” behavior towards him always claimed.

The bond which FÉLIX comitted to burn into the ground in s3-s4:

Guilt I can only explain in the same only way I can possibly explain Félix throwing Adrien under the bus as awfully as he did til s5, and in particular the s4 finale:

I can only explain it if Félix all his life had received the other - but in this case pretty much equal - side of the spectrum of abusive parenthood and Adrien’s abuse simply looked so different and way more ”subtle” and “acceptable by society’s standarts” from what Félix’ knew as highly abusive (when he finally gained freedom through getting his ring, probably at his father’s funeral hence why Adrien wasnt allowed to be there. It’s where Félix has told he’s a Sentihuman) that he didnt recognize it as such and therefore ended up hardcore victim-blaming his cousin because he has it “so much better” under Gabriel’s fist but “still cant take initiative like Félix does”.

Félix at the end of “Strike Back” in my opinion truly thought that even though his uncle is a delusional, tyrannical man, Adrien would be the ONLY person safe ENOUGH with him and from him (I know this sounds like a hypocritical cop-out, but Félix is literally in the ONE family position as Adrien’s close and only cousin, who’s also the only other child in their families but always also lived far away enough to not be around to wittness most of Adrien’s and Gabriel’s father-son dynamic behind closed doors [especially in the last, and most crucial year], that I simply have to say that.. this is so god. damn. realistic. This is a way too realistic variation of how the once close children in abusive families end up as bitter rivals throwing each other under the bus within their own absive family system.)

Félix thought that Adrien is as per usual the ONE exception for Gabriel in EVERYTHING, so giving Papa Agreste the control object and 15 more miraculous’ he can fry his brain away with simply... wouldnt have meant endangering Adrien’s entire life in Félix’ eyes.

Which WE know is the WRONG damn reading of the situation!

But for Félix Adrien was his uncle’s one weakness “out of fatherly love” Félix most likely never knew himself, because Gabriel put/s ALOT of effort into keeping his son in the dark (”overprotectiveness”) which lead Félix to even blantantly using Adrien against GABRIEL bc he knew that threatening to tell Adrien would be the most effective way to make his uncle instantly stop denying that he’s Shadowmoth:

(Also, notice how in the upper picture when Gabriel is denying that he’s Shadowmoth, Flairmidable is shot from the ONE - the ONE - possible angle from where his character model looks similar to Chat Noir.

With whatever tons of context we are apparently missing from prior to “Emotion” regarding this entire Agreste, Graham de Vanily/ Fathom and Tsurugi mess, this visual forshadowing in “Strike Back” is in SOME WAY apparently about to become relevant now. Most likely through Nathalie but eyyyyyy, its not like we have any kind of DAMN context! <3 :D)

I already long assumed Félix’ awful but NEW behavior towards Adrien since his father’s funeral to be the result of Félix despising Adrien bc Gabriel burdened his nephew with the knowledge of being Sentihuman in the worst way and at the worst time possible while “overprotecting” Adrien. But now with “Emotion” it seemed I read it mostly right.

The way I see it, Félix did the one thing unnervingly not even uncommon in abusive families: He couldnt recognize his cousin’s extreme abuse because he was too blinded by his own that looked different, while simultaneously comparing Gabriel’s life-long treatment of him and Adrien.

And since Gabriel has probably always treated him unfairly and “worse” than Adrien in Félix’ eyes (which was probably primarily more arrogant indifference from Gabriel’s side while treating Adrien as a golden boy) Félix then most likely thought that HE was the one truly in danger of Gabriel because he isnt Adrien, when Gabriel in actuality probably wouldnt have paid his nephew alot of mind at all and would have had included him automatically in the new reality for Adrien’s sake if - ironically - Félix’ hadnt involved himself and made himself a thorn in Gabriel’s side by now out of (UNDERSTANDABLE) fear and paranoia.

So yeah, still: Fuck Gabriel.

But back to Félix’ possible abuse from his father and how that blinded him to Adrien’s:

(No, I’m not forgetting Amelie and EMILIE, this is just getting WAY too much for this one post. The three mother figures of this family (Emilie, Amelie and Nathalie) are the crucial puzzle pieces in the Agreste’s & Graham de Vanily’s narrative. I’m gonna tackle that in posts dedicated to them specifically)

If Félix for example was more physically abused with open disdain from Colt Fathom than emotionally manipulated, used and gaslit out of “love”, then he would have a hard time at first (especially if he’s UNWILLING to see it) to understand or even just recognize to certain degree all the red flags of that what Gabriel is doing to Adrien resultes/d in emotional scars so bad that Adrien was/is pretty much suicidal at times and spend most of the show stuck in his mental and emotional escapism as Chat Noir (Still, I’m also pretty sure Félix SHOULD have been the ONE person who SHOULD have recognized the resemblance between Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir, the same way Félix was able to recognize Gabriel as Shadowmoth. But ironically, for that he was too blinded by his victim-blaming of Shadowmoths SON)

And if Félix only has ONE amok object and that means whoever wore it (his father) has 100% control over him, then he could (have) significantly underestimate(d) how BAD the emotional toll on Adrien would have been all his life when he always had TWO objects and that - I must assume - resulted in two 50/50 control holds over him:

(Disclaimer at this point: The show is very consistently exploring 3 unique ways for Adrien, Félix and Kagami in how the same peacock amok control resulted in very individual abuse situations for each of them. The amok abuse is not inconsistend or poorly explained, it was never meant to be a 1 for 3 explaination the same way you cant generalize ONE case of parental abuse for ALL existing abused kids. The show is treating this as legit child abuse the way it should. And yes, I will elaborate on all of that in ALOT more detail in future.)

Meaning only Adrien’s action and emotional compliance can be controlled but not his emotions themselves, which I see no reason to not be the default for Sentihuman who only have one object. Meaning for example, that if Colt Fathom didnt wanted Félix to care about any kind of bond with another person his age but his cousin, then Félix simply would have never felt the desire to have friends and therefore also never learnt how to handle the emotional pain of not getting to have them as Adrien was “allowed to”. Adrien didnt get to have friends either, but I suppose unless you wear BOTH his rings no order about forbidding him to have friends would have stopped him from still feeling the longing to have them anyway.

So Adrien’s sounds “better enough” on surface level - which is all Félix would have seen - but its actually massively fucked up bc the clash between Adrien’s natural emotions and the actions his body and mind are forced to obey would quickly beat a young childs mind into misery and helpless fawning on their own expense just to mentally survive that constant invasion of their mind by TWO sources they cant explain to themselves.

Adrien may have been “allowed” to still have emotions but his living conditions would have quickly turned that into emotional agony because Adrien would still be forced to burry everything deep inside that clashes with his parents orders, or whenever he thinks that his behavior or voiced desires would lead to him being shut down again. Its a malicious circle that pretty much accurately represents the normal cycle of emotional oppression within “regular” emotional child abuse.

Not that being 100% controlled physically and emotionally bc of having just ONE amok is in any way “better” (Holy shit, nah!, and I’ll get to Félix’ and Kagami’s abuse in their own posts), but I cant imagine having TWO the way Adrien does as anything short of mental and emotional oppression & exhaution at best - since Adrien ever since infanthood would always have to FEEL the pain of his orders directly going against something that would make him happy/ one of his basic needs and yet he has to submit to it anyway - or basically torment at worst.

Cause can you imagine if Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s contradicting orders in “Protection” would CLASH in the same moment?? GOSH!!!

This pretty much emotionally ripped Adrien back and forth between the two wearers of his amok rings the ENTIRE TIME ever since BIRTH, which would perfectly explain why Adrien is so emotionally repressed, resilient to impossible levels and instandly tends/tended to remain in denial and fawn or submit as copying mechanism. That would have been the only way he could have mentally survived TWO PEOPLE controlling him at once against his own emotions ever since he was a BABY.

I’d say its a reality check on THIS caliber that made Félix pull a 180 regarding his attitude towards Adrien - again, most likely through Nathalie (who I think would be the most logical person for Adrien now to choose to tell his secret Identity to if he needs help in managing to keep his secret save from his father) and SHE would get Félix involved because he’s aware of Gabriel, has the peacock miraculous and KNOWS what pain Sentihumans go through. But honestly, anything in this direction is guessing into pitch darkness lol.

I have so, SO much more to say on how the control of Sentihumans works but especially Adrien’s unique case of him having TWO objects. I’ve been analysing the Agreste houshold in this regard since around the beginning of s4, but that definitely deserves its own massive post(s) the same way Kagami’s abuse via amok ring (which she got to wear ever since AFTER her debut episode “Riposte”) deserves it own post seperated from Félix’ and this one here.

This is getting SO interesting, I’m LIVING for this scale of fucked up story telling! I just wished we would get it in the right chronological order so I can look at it with all the NEEDED context, Gloob, come ON!

#ml #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #Ml emotion spoilers #ml emotion #Ml Emotion disclaimer #ml Felix #felix fathom #ml protection #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #Kagami Tsurugi #Colt Fathom #ml child abuse #ml theory #ml analysis #keeping up with the agrestes #ml Sentichildren #Adrien Felix and Kagami are Sentihumans #get over it please #ml season 5 #ml spoilers #ml Argos

[jihyocentric]

idk if anyone has requested for the summary of dormmate!nayeon yet, but I would like to! It’s been a while since we have got an update about them🥺

thanks in advance and have a great day, lumi!

made this a filler drabble to give context to the next request for this au!

-

getting to know yeri shifted something between them. jihyo slowly realizes that nayeon has been sweeter with her, trying to redeem herself, knowing she was the reason why jihyo had to deal with that.

if only nayeon had resisted the urge to have jihyo, they wouldn’t be stuck in that situation. jihyo could’ve found someone nice. someone who would take care of her, always put her first and wouldn’t make her pretend she doesn’t know them when they’re not in between four walls.

this time, when the guilt begins to consume her, nayeon doesn’t drink. after the last time she drowned her sorrows in alcohol and everything went downhill, nayeon promised she wouldn’t do that again, resorting to less harmful things.

that included spending quality time with jihyo, and sometimes helping sana and momo out. there was an extracurricular project of which the two were volunteers, and while sana and momo were there for the money, nayeon wanted time for herself, keeping her mind busy while teaching kids the basics of basketball.

that way, she didn’t have to think about the mess that her life had become. the moments where she was alone at the dorm, waiting for jihyo to arrive, were the worst hours of her days. as long as she was away, either helping out on the project or taking classes at college, her problems would vanish.

even if temporarily, she could finally breathe.

“since we’re letting you participate, you should give us the money,” sana says when they’re leaving college. momo agrees with her. “you don’t need it! besides, if it wasn't for us you would never know about the project, and…”

“you can have it.” nayeon sighs, already sick of having the two around. they had become closer with time, and they certainly knew how to keep nayeon from thinking about her problems, but they talked too much. “can you just keep quiet?”

“that easy?!” sana blinks, confused, hugging nayeon’s shoulder with a smile on her face. “look at you, im. you’re such a good friend now.”

nayeon scoffs, offering her a halfhearted smile. momo was clueless to the whole nayeon and jihyo subject, and none of them were planning to tell her. nayeon still hates the fact that momo tries to reach jihyo, the jealousy stopping nayeon from accepting momo as a friend. sana finds it entertaining for the most part, an amused viewer.

when she gets home, nayeon feels a scent that calls for her, fresh and sugary, filling the entire dorm. jihyo leaves the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around her, and nayeon knows she will rightfully complain about what she plans to do, but she can’t help but engulf her in a hug, her front meeting jihyo’s back, her sweaty arms involving her.

“you’re late,” jihyo sighs, her hair being pulled aside, soft lips kissing her neck, a familiar gesture that made her stomach burn, anticipating everything that came next. “and sweaty.”

“i took the girls home today,” nayeon pushes jihyo’s body gently, making her walk. while she wouldn’t mind to fuck her in the hallway, right there and then, her legs ached after spending the day running on a court. “and now i’m taking you.”

jihyo’s back hits the mattress as soon as nayeon manages to undo her towel, and then she’s trapped in one of those moments where she thinks she should be saying no. meeting yeri made things become more real, the guilt close to palpable, but it feels so good, even when it’s bad.

nayeon’s kisses carried uncertainties that even the roughest touch couldn’t make jihyo understand what nayeon wanted behind the obvious lust. kisses shouldn’t feel that way — empty and hungry at the same time, and nayeon shouldn’t be silently telling jihyo she is hers when she couldn’t live up to the promise.

“about our date…” nayeon inches away, taking off her muscle tee and dropping it to the floor. “there’s a festival happening out of town this weekend, i thought i could take you there.”

jihyo takes a while to process what nayeon had told her, eyes locked on her tummy. the top part of her boxers was showing, nayeon entirely too lazy to fix it. the shirt had been covering it anyway.

“you’re taking me out of town so nobody can see us?” jihyo asks, bringing her hand to the belt around nayeon’s waist, unbuckling it easily.

“what a smart girl,” nayeon mashes her lips together, only letting out a small laugh. “there’s nothing interesting for us to do here. at least not this weekend… just thought you would like to do something different.”

it was true.

not entirely true, but it was still true. nayeon was taking her out of town because it was dangerous to walk around with jihyo when nobody knew she shared her dorm with her, but she wasn’t lying when she said there was nothing interesting to do around the town.

“too sweet, unnie.” jihyo sighs, pulling nayeon’s pants down to her thighs along with the boxers. she moans softly when nayeon’s cock springs out, hard from the moment she saw jihyo. “planning to take me to bed afterwards?”

nayeon shrugs, letting jihyo guide her inside, supporting herself on her arms as she leans into her neck, nibbling the smooth skin just slightly. jihyo was already covered in marks, and those needed time to heal without nayeon trying to give her more of them.

“obviously.” nayeon tells her, amused. “but i want us to have fun, too. just you and i,” she pulls away just barely, nose brushing against jihyo’s. “my pretty girl.”

wasting no time, nayeon starts to thrust. she had always been fond of giving jihyo a little praising, knowing what it did to her, combining them with searing thrusts that would make jihyo cry out beautifully.

nayeon keeps a hand on jihyo’s cheek tenderly, another holding her thigh, groaning at how jihyo claws at her ass under the pants, subtly asking nayeon to put it all in and go impossibly deep, her way of making nayeon hers, an arbitrary sense of accomplishment growing in her chest.

the same passion that put them in their current situation comes back stronger when they’re together like that — losing themselves together, bodies pressed against one another, fulfilling a need that would never be truly sated, drowning into each other’s mouths even when they could barely breathe, forgetting about the world outside.

despite everything, there's nothing to regret when it feels that good.

#anon #nayeon #jihyo #nahyo #dormmate!nayeon #g!p #fill

[aamalaaa]

sunrises & liquor (m) | myg

all that jazz

pairing: yoongi x reader

series: sunrises & liquor

rating: m(18+); cursing, alcohol consumption, smut, explicit content

genre: bar workers au, barman yoongi au, (kinda) forbidden relationship, angst, fluff, smut

summary: after a failed academic pursuit and a few meaningless and disappointing relationships, you decided to go back to what you never thought you would: the bar industry. There you find a family, friends, heartache, misunderstandings and one particular barman who just won’t get out of your head.

warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption (duh), smut, dom!yoongi, sub/brat!reader, dirty talk, oral sex(m.receiving), unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it folks), car sex, rough sex, angst, reader has issues bro

a/n: welcome folks, to yet another chapter of s&l! it’s been more than lovely having you around, sharing your thoughts and screaming with me. I appreciate you!! anyhow, this is the longest one yet, my bad, and we’re getting into the final arc of this story, I reckon. I hope you thoroughly enjoy this one<3

//: btw, I listened to ‘Lost’ and ‘Thinkin bout you’ by Frank Ocean, and also ‘Meet me in the Hallway’ by Harry Styles while writing this one, I recommend it.

chapter word count: 8.5k (my bad)

previous | next

-

-

Today was a long day.

It started well enough, you woke up and ate breakfast with two of your best friends, exchanged a few texts with Yoongi and tried to help Jimin with his Hoseok problem. You even managed to convince him to meet up with the latter.

Turns out it ended up unraveling in the worst possible way and you were left to pick up the pieces of your dear friend’s heart all throughout the afternoon, trying to ignore the guilt gnawing at you in favor of focusing on your friend who really needed you.

Because this isn’t about you and how you feel bad about what happened and the role you played in this whole situation. This is about Jimin and how he just got basically rejected by his longtime crush and friend.

So you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to understand what in the actual fuck happened today and how to help, what to do to make both your friends feel a little less miserable.

And Hoseok may have rejected Jimin, but you know him and you’re sure this whole thing is eating at him, will probably keep him up at night. Hoseok never wants to hurt anyone, on the contrary, he always tries to help people feel a little more hopeful, a little less out of control.

You facepalm yourself and sigh loudly. How the fuck do you always end up all up in everybody’s business, your life is enough of a mess as it is. 

Your phone vibrates and you unlock it, smiling like a whole ass fool as soon as you notice Yoongi’s contact name pop up on your screen.

Love [6:37]: badly, spent the whole afternoon consoling Jiminie

Love [6:38]: I’m so tired

You drop your phone on the bed and head towards the bathroom to take a much needed shower. You stand under the stream of hot water for, well, way too long, before you step out of the shower and wrap a towel around your naked form, blow drying your hair as soon as you do.

You leisurely make your way towards your dresser and slip on a simple black t-shirt. Then, you unlock your cell phone again and try to force down the surge of energy you get when you notice two new messages from Yoongi. 

Music Man [6:41]: shit. poor Chim.

Music Man [6:41]: are you ok?

You sigh contentedly as you type in a response and send it.

Love [7:29]: yeah I am, just need to unwind and go to sleep early.

You start scrolling through netflix, almost settling on a title before you feel your phone vibrate on your stomach.

Music Man [7:36]: wanna come over?

You grin and start typing.

Love [7:37]: mmmhm, idk. that’s at least a 15 minutes drive.

The reply is almost instantaneous.

Music Man [7:37]: I made budae jjigae..

Love [7:38]: say no more

Love [7:38]: leaving in 10

You start getting ready, pulling on some jeans and a coat, then you brush your teeth and grab your purse.

You look at your phone before dropping it in your bag.

Music Man [7:40]: bring overnight stuff [:

“Did you get my last text?”

You push past Yoongi and head inside the apartment.

“I did,” You reply in a monotonous tone.

He closes the front door. “Where’s your overnight stuff?”

You grin and lift your purse up,

“Here.”

“You’re sleeping in… jeans?”

You slip your coat off and hang it, wagging your eyebrows playfully. “Or maybe I’m sleeping naked?”

“Are you trying to be the end of me?” Yoongi groans.

You chuckle lightheartedly,

“Don’t act like you’ve never seen a naked woman before, please.”

“Definitely not, but they weren’t you. I don’t think you realize the power you have over me, love.” He draws closer and engulfs you in a tight embrace, laying a gentle press of his lips on top of your head.

You blush profusely, thankful for the fact that your face is hidden from Yoongi’s scrutinizing gaze. This might be the most romantic and simultaneously arousing thing you’ve ever heard. 

Shit.

“Then you’ll lend me sleeping clothes will you?” You nip at his exposed collarbones.

Yoongi shudders quietly. “So this was your plan the whole time? Make a man weak so you can steal his clothes and why not, his cat too maybe?”

You laugh against the crook of his neck. “Damn, you caught me.”

“That’s cold, angel.”

You lift your head up and your eyes meet an absolutely devastating pout.

“Poor baby,” You coo before cupping his soft cheeks, pressing your lips on his for a few seconds and sighing in absolute bliss, the blond man’s arms tightening around you as you get lost in each other’s taste. You break it off first, parting an inch or two from him and staying there for a short moment, the both of you breathing in each other’s air, eyes closed.

“I just think your clothes smell nice,” You whisper tenderly.

Yoongi hums. “What do they smell like?”

You dip your head down and press your forehead on his shoulder, a light pinkish tint taking over your cheeks, and mumble, “You.”

“So you think I smell nice?” 

You slap his hip and groan in embarrassment. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” He chortles, a calloused hand making its way through your freshly washed hair.

You stay unmoving for a few moments, trying to will the heat in your cheeks away and then raise your head, first noticing Cat, laying on the couch and judging the both of you with it’s golden orbs, before catching the spicy scent of budae jjigae for the first time since you came in.

“You actually cooked, like for real.”

Yoongi lets go of his hold on you and rubs the back of his neck. “Well, yeah.”

You approach the stove top, taking  in a deep breath through your nose.

“I thought you were finessing me so I would come over.”

“That’s rich coming from you, clothes stealer.” Yoongi says, a playful indignant tone to his voice.

“Hey! I borrow them, I don’t steal them.”

“Tell that to the hoodie I haven’t seen in the last two months.”

You cross your arms and pout, leaning on the counter. “You gave that to me, meanie.”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”

“That’s not fair,” You squint your eyes at him.

Yoongi chuckles and kisses your temple, taking two bowls from the cupboard and filling them with two portions of the still-warm meal before putting them down on the counter along with utensils and two water bottles.

“Eat up before it gets cold.”

You whine but still sit down at the counter, slurping and munching hungrily at the delicious comforting meal. Yoongi watches you with an amused expression, eating quietly and slowly. Once you’ve annihilated your portion you put your utensils down and quirk a brow at the blond man,

“What?” you take a sip of water.

Yoongi shrugs, a crooked smile on his lips. “Nothing, you’re just cute.”

You choke on the liquid, coughing loudly and bring a hand up to your chest, violently slapping it to help clear your obstructed airways. Yoongi laughs and runs a hand up and down your back in a soothing motion. 

“You’re mean,” You croak out once your fit of coughs settles down.

“I’m sorry,” He massages the nape of your neck, dissipating any feeling of annoyance you might’ve had.

You pout. “Better make it up to me then.”

“Anything you want, love.”

"Anything?" You lift a brow and send him a seductive smile, slowly getting up and wrapping your arms around his neck.

Yoongi’s breath hitches in his throat as he lets out a low, rumbly, “Anything.”

You twirl a blond strand of hair between your deft fingers, a wicked grin lifting the corners of your mouth. “Then I want a massage and cuddles.”

Yoongi huffs incredulously and shakes his head, lightly swatting at your ass. “It would be my pleasure.”

He lends you a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt and you quickly brush your teeth before going to the living room and petting the furry animal, cooing and squealing when it starts purring in content.You then make your way back to Yoongi's room and swiftly slide under the bed’s covers. 

Yoongi enters the bathroom and comes out a few minutes later to find you almost passed out, snuggled in his sheets. He slides under the covers next to you and whispers,

“Do you want to go to sleep now, love?”

You shake your head and blink slowly, meeting deep chocolate-like eyes. Even in complete darkness Yoongi looks absolutely stunning, breathtaking, and you feel so fucking fond and grateful to be sharing a bed with him.

“Nuh-uh, you still have to give me a massage.”

“Alright, on your stomach then,” Yoongi chuckles and tucks a strand of hair beneath your ear. 

You leisurely comply, and give him an expectant look.

“It would be better if I took off your shirt, but it’s all up to you.”

You nod and send him a small smile, giving him permission.

And so Yoongi sits up straight and starts tugging your shirt off, you help him by lifting your torso and arms up. 

Once the garment is off, Yoongi slides his palms up your back with increasing pressure, spurring a satisfied moan out of you. 

“Is that enough pressure?” He whispers in a dark, gruff tone, sending shivers up your spine

You barely manage to whisper the next words, 

“It’s perfect.” 

He continues his ministrations, lingering for a long moment on your shoulders and collarbones, then trailing down to the dip of your back and slowly pressing his thumbs there while you can only let out small mewls of appreciation. 

You slowly slip in and out of consciousness, not even noticing that Yoongi has stopped massaging you until he whispers against your ear,   

“Time to sleep, angel.”

You groan and begrudgingly sit up, tugging the white t-shirt on before slumping down on your side, facing the opposite way from Yoongi. The latter inches closer and wraps a lazy arm around your waist, pressing himself flush against your back.

“Sweet dreams,” He presses a delicate kiss on your shoulder.

You wiggle in his embrace before slurring out a small,

“Sweet dreams Yoongi.”

You tug nervously at the off-the-shoulder neckline of the emerald green, floor length dress you put on merely a few minutes ago.

It’s 7:04, which means Yoongi is late, and Yoongi is almost never late. Which might mean something happened, but it could also just be your anxiety riddled mind making up scenarios to taunt you.

Nevertheless you can’t tame down the bubbling anxiety rising in your chest.

You’re checking your phone for the upteenth when you hear a slightly reluctant knock at your front door.

You swing it open in a matter of seconds, letting out a shaky breath of relief as soon as you see Yoongi’s soft features.

Your relief is short lived though, because his appearance knocks the air straight out of you.

You grip the doorknob forcefully as you take in the fitted black suit Yoongi is sporting, the white dress shirt and black bow, but most importantly his luscious locks of hair. Because they’re not the light, bleached blond you’ve been drawn to since you’ve met him. No, oh no. 

His hair is black. 

Jet black, as dark as a raven’s feathers. 

And if you thought blond was the best color for Yoongi before, you were not prepared for this one. Because holy shit, he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever been blessed to lay your eyes upon. 

The night’s announcing itself to be a long one. 

“You look amazing,” Yoongi declares as he tucks his hands in the pockets of his trousers, an awestruck look in his eyes.

“Holy shit,” Is all you manage to say, completely unaware of the compliment he just bestowed upon you.

Yoongi nervously cards a hand through his black hair. “Yeah..”

“Yoongi. Fucking hell. Don’t do that.” Your grip on the door handle strengthens and you take a deep breath, looking anywhere but in his direction. 

“Do what?” He scratches his head in confusion, oblivious to your internal struggle. 

“Your hair, oh my god.” You snap your gaze up, just now noticing how awkward the man looks standing in the doorway. “Umm, sorry, come in.”

You step out of the way and Yoongi slides in through the threshold, closing the door as you make your way to the closet and take out your winter coat. 

“Yeah I was so done with bleaching it, so I just went back to my natural color.”

You hum understandingly and the man leans on the wall, watching you curiously as your shaky hands fumble with the buttons of your black, fake fur coat. 

“Do you like it?” He questions, an amused glint to his tone.

You gulp loudly. “Y-yeah I do.” 

You curse under your breath as you struggle to button your coat, your mind reeling with thousands of filthy images you try to rid yourself of. Crazy how a simple change of hair color can have such an impact on you. 

But you’re only human, and Yoongi clearly is something else, no way a human being is allowed to look like this, like sin incarnated but also a god sent creature. It’s not fucking fair.

Strong, capable hands deftly take a hold of yours and snap the coat’s buttons in place. 

“You like it that much?” He chuckles teasingly.

You send a glare his way, only now noticing how close he’s standing. “How fucking dare you look this good in my house, in front of my fake plants nonetheless!”

Yoongi lifts a brow in amusement before taking a hold of your waist and drawing you flush against his broad chest. “What are you gonna do about it?” 

You gasp and slap his shoulder. “I can’t with you, I swear to god.”

Yoongi laughs loudly, showing off a heart shattering gummy smile that has your heartbeat picking up at an alarming rate.

“Are you actually mad?” He runs a hand up and down your back. You curse yourself for putting on your winter garment, wanting more than anything to feel his fingers on you.

“Yes, I am! How am I supposed to watch the musical when you look like this?” You pout angrily. 

“So dramatic..” 

And just like that he stops you from responding by locking his lips onto yours, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss before biting lightly at your bottom lip, tearing a soft whimper out of you.

He slowly backs you up against the wall, using the surprised gasp you emit to slide his tongue against your own, licking languidly and relentlessly as you try to take charge, failing time and time again.

You slide your hand all the way up to the back of his head, tugging lightly at the soft locks of hair, something you’ve been desperate to do since he appeared at your doorstep. 

Yoongi emits a deep groan, shivers instantly pricking at your skin despite the warm clothing you’re wearing and you slide your other hand up to the button of his jacket, wanting nothing more than to take it off and feel his warm skin sizzling under your palms.

But he parts from your lips just as your hand reaches the obstructing button and chuckles hoarsely,

“We can’t miss this show, love. Tae would be sad and you’d feel bad.”

“Damn, I hate that you’re right.”

Yoongi rests his forehead against yours and lightly shakes his head. “Believe me, I hate that I am too.” 

You stay there, catching your breaths for a few moments before you speak up again,

“Alright let’s go now, otherwise we won’t be leaving tonight.”

You see his jaw twitch as he steps away and takes your hand in his. 

“I’m in pain,” He solemnly declares.

You chuckle heartily,

“So dramatic.”

You arrive at the theater a mere thirty-something minutes before the musical Taehyung stars in begins, the billboard announcing ‘Chicago’ in bright capital letters.

You notice Seokjin and Hoseok almost as soon as you make your way in after dropping off your things at coat check.

They’re leaning against a high circular table and chatting, flutes of champagne in hand.

Seokjin speaks first,

“We were starting to wonder if you guys decided to bail on us to go have sex at Yoongi’s place or something.”

You give him a mortified look while Hoseok loudly chortles, gripping his stomach as he does so.

Yoongi lets out a drawn out sigh. “I need a drink.”

Seokjin perks up. “Let me accompany you! There’s a bit of a line.” 

He downs his own flute in one gulp as Yoongi sends a pained look your way but follows the older man nonetheless, leaving you and Hoseok alone.

The silence that reigns over the both of you feels awkward and strange. You don’t like it, not one bit.

“How is he?”

You snap your gaze towards the red haired man.

“Who?” You question futilely, already knowing the answer.

Hoseok sighs, a downcast look in his eyes. “Jimin..” 

You pick at your nails nervously, unsure if you should be talking about it or not. You ultimately decide it couldn’t hurt to do so. 

“I mean.. how do you think? You know him, he’s taking it pretty badly but he wouldn’t talk about it or what really happened. He’s resilient though, he’ll manage.”

“I know.. I’m just-“ He pauses. “I’m just kinda confused and lost right now? I didn’t expect this, at all. And I’ve wanted him to tell me that he loves me for so long, even dreamt about it. But I met Lia a few weeks ago and it’s going well you know? She’s kind and I know exactly what she thinks and where she’s at..”

You didn’t know about any of this. “Lia?” 

“Yeah, I met her at a party. You’d like her a lot I think.” He shoots you a half-hearted smile, making your heart sink. 

Hoseok doesn’t do half-hearted smiles.

“If you do, I’m sure I would too.”

Hoseok stares at the floor, eyebrows furrowed, like he’s deep in thoughts.

You sigh and ruffle his hair. “Whatever you do, I’ll be happy for you. As long as you know you’re making the right decision for you. Not anyone else.”

Hoseok eyes you almost pleadingly. “But no matter what I do, someone’s going to end up hurting..”

“Yup. That’s just the way things go most of the time.” You try to swallow the uptick of emotions in your throat.

“You’re such a pessimist,” The corner of his eyes crinkle in amusement.

“I have nothing to say in my defense.”

You notice Yoongi and Seokjin coming back your way, holding three flutes of champagne.

You give Hoseok a meaningful look, “Seriously though, think about it. I don’t want you to regret your decision later on, whatever that decision is.”

He nods harshly, just as the two men come up to you. Yoongi hands you a flute.

“Thanks,” You beam at him, touched that he thought to bring you one too.

He snakes an arm around your waist and takes a small sip of the bubbly drink. “Of course.”

“So, what role is Taehyung playing anyway?” Hoseok asks.

You perk up, excited about your friend’s upcoming performance. “Roxie! It’s a gender swapped reinterpretation of Chicago.”

“Damn, he basically got the lead role.” Yoongi whistles, impressed.

You preen with pride for your friend.

“He did,” Seokjin confirms in an adoring tone.

“Sweet!” Hoseok exclaims, drawing in a few pair of curious eyes.

You all drink your flutes pretty quickly and make a stop at the restroom before heading inside the theater and taking your seats.

You sit at the end of the row, Yoongi directly to your left, then followed by Hoseok and Seokjin. You apply a thin layer of lip gloss before tucking the stick back into your purse, only then noticing Yoongi eyeing you, indecipherable emotions swimming in his dark orbs.

You lean closer and lay a hand on his thigh,

“Something on my face?”

Yoongi snorts. “Anything I could answer to that would be corny as fuck.”

You feel your face heat up and look down bashfully.

“Hey,” He lifts your chin up with his index finger. “I didn’t say I was done looking.”

“Oh my god Yoongi, stop.” You squeeze his thigh in warning, very thankful for the low lighting, otherwise you’re positive he would notice the bright red tint spreading all over your face.

“Cute,” He coos softly, caressing your cheek gently before draping his arm around your shoulders, you lean onto him . 

The musical soon starts, and it’s absolutely mind blowing. You don’t remember ever seeing something quite like it. Taehyung adds a lot of flair to it, and you might’ve seen him in other plays before, but this takes home the cake, in your opinion at least. Because he owns the stage, the role, the songs. 

He is the role.

But as much as you try to stay focused, you can’t help but let yourself peer at Yoongi from time to time, getting caught up in the way the light illuminating the stage creates all sorts of shapes and shadows upon his hypnotizing features.

He’s fucking stunning.

You leave your hand on his thigh all throughout the show, rubbing slow circles on his knee with your dainty thumb.

And you’re acutely aware of the occasional shivers coursing through Yoongi as you sometimes let your hand wander a bit further up his thigh, notice the way his jaw ticks when you lightly squeeze the muscular limb. You also notice how your heartbeat picks up its pace the longer you keep testing the man’s patience, as if maybe your little teasing might have even more of an effect on you than on him.

When the last musical number starts, you let your hand venture even further up, your fingers now almost reaching the place you want them to reach the most.

You feel Yoongi‘s muscle strain, almost missing the low groan that reverberates through him when he forcefully grabs your wrist in warning, which automatically sends a rush of heat through your whole body.

You chance a glance at his tense features, his clenched jaw, his eyes staring intently at the stage, and almost pout when he doesn’t give you any attention, simply keeping his steady and forcefull hold on your wrist, making it impossible for you to move your hand in any way. 

The play soon ends and you all get up, Yoongi lets go of your wrist to applaud and once he’s done, he gets a hold of your hand and interwines your fingers, sending you a dark menacing look as he does so.

The four of you quickly make your way to the front hall and you text your friend.

my queen [10:43]: we’re waiting for you in the front hall! you were fucking incredible tae omg

You feel Yoongi’s hold on your hand strengthen as you wait for a reply.

Taebear [10:45]: be there in 15, gotta wait for ppl to leave 

And so you all wait, eagerly discussing and praising your friend’s performance and the musical as a whole between the four of you.

Time goes by so quickly that you yelp in surprise when you notice your best friend making his way towards your group.

“Tae oh my fucking god!” You let go of Yoongi’s hand and run into Taehyung’s arms. “You were unreal up there.” 

You part from him to let everyone congratulate his performance, Hoseok clapping excitedly and crushing him into a fierce hug while Yoongi simply pats him on the shoulder.

“You were born to be on stage sweetie,” Seokjin approaches him and lays a passionate kiss on the younger man’s lips.

They exchange a few words before Taehyung addresses you, his head laying on Seokjin’s large shoulders,

“I know we planned to go somewhere after this but I’m officially drained. Rain check? Y’all still owe me a celebratory meal.” 

You snort loudly. “All good babe. Go rest, you need it.”

Hoseok ruffles Seokjin’s hair. “Can I catch a ride with you?”

“As long as you never, ever, touch my hair again, yes.” 

Taehyung chuckles airily, an endeared boxy grin etched upon his face as he glances adoringly at the older man. 

And so you all say goodbye and head towards your respective cars. You slump down the passenger side’s seat and tug your coat off, waiting for Yoongi to start the ignition. 

He drives out of the parking lot and onto the highway, glancing at you from time to time, not saying a single word. You feel anxiety bubbling up your chest and decide to break the tense silence,

“Are you dropping me off at home?” 

Yoongi chuckles almost menacingly. “Oh no, we’re sleeping at my place tonight.” 

“Umm.. since when?” You give him a quizzical look.

He clenches his jaw before replying,

“Since you decided to play a game you know you can’t win.”

Oh.

You slide a hand up his thigh, your fingers brushing over his crotch, and relish in the sharp intake of air that reaches your ears. 

“What game?” You tease.

“Angel,” Yoongi rasps through gritted teeth, his hands gripping the wheel so forcefully that his knuckles turn white.

And you might be liking this a bit too much, but it’s way too fun to stop now. 

So you repeat the motion, sliding your hand up and down his thigh, brushing over his crotch again.

“Yes?” You flutter your eyelashes innocently. 

You barely even notice Yoongi taking the next exit and driving down small deserted streets until the car stops in a small parking lot next to the water.

You don’t recognize the public park in which you now find yourself in. 

“Uh, Yoongi? This isn’t your place as far as I know.”

The man lowers the backrest of the car seat to a more comfortable position, unfastens his seatbelt and grabs your hand, pushing it against the growing tent in his trousers, electrifying arousal growing sharply in your abdomen as he does so.

“Well, it seems like you couldn’t wait to be home to act like a brat. So go ahead, do what you want.”

You swallow thickly. “Here? What if someone walks past us?” 

Yoongi smirks and closes his eyes before bringing his arms up and slipping his hands behind his head. “Didn’t seem to bother you one bit earlier.”

And maybe it shouldn’t, but the thought of maybe getting caught, coupled with the alluring confidence emanating from Yoongi casts a hazy cloud in your mind, making you want to please the man more than anything in the world.

And so you unfasten your seatbelt and lift your skirt up to straddle the man easily. But he stops you before you can climb him,

“No.”

You stare at him in sheer confusion. 

“That’s not what you were trying to do earlier. Use your hands angel, then we’ll see if you deserve more.” 

You all but shudder and nod weakly. Yoongi might’ve been a bit dominating before, but it was nothing compared to this. The confident, authoritative glint in his voice sends your mind into a frenzy, you want to get to know this side of him better.

He quirks a brow at you and closes his eyes again,

“Well?” 

You snake a trembling hand up to the zipper of his trousers, struggling a bit before sliding it all the way down. You can feel how aroused he is, how hard his thick, warm length feels under the thin material of his underwear. It gives you a major boost of confidence, knowing how eager Yoongi actually is to feel you.

“Can you um..lift your hips,” You bashfully ask.

Yoongi blinks and chuckles amusedly before lifting his hips up and tugging his boxers and trousers halfway down, liberating his warm cock from the confines of his clothes. 

He watches carefully as you bring a hand up to your mouth and spit on it, his eyes darkening as soon as the thick saliva trickles down your palm.

His gaze only falters for a few seconds when you wrap your hand around him, and focuses again as soon as you start pumping him in slow, drawn out motions.

He stays silent, though immensely focused when you start going faster, swirling your wrist from time to time and applying a little more pressure when you reach his reddened tip, only to dive down again and again. 

His ragged breathing is the only thing that cues you in on how much he’s actually enjoying this and so, you ask with a tiny, shaky voice,

“Can I umm..”

The words don't come out. It’s not that you’re shy about doing it, It just feels weird to say out loud.

“Can you what?” He asks with a gravely low voice that sends a wave of shivers up your spine.

You look at him with pleading eyes as you continue sliding your hand up and down his length. Yoongi simply quirks a brow at you, refusing you mercy. 

“Can you what, love?”

You take a shallow breath and whisper, 

“Can I suck you off?”

You can almost sense the moment he breaks, it feels like the air inside the small car gets even more suffocating, making you lightheaded.

“Fuck, yeah, go on.”

A pleasurable knot forms itself in your stomach as you eagerly dive down to leave a teasing lick on the tip of Yoongi’s cock, the salty taste of precum coating your tongue deliciously.

You flick your tongue against the slit of his girth, smirking when you feel Yoongi jolt and moan quietly. He pushes away the strands of hair dangling in front of your eyes and grabs the rest of your hair in a messy bun, holding it in a firm but gentle grip.

He groans lowly when you slowly wrap your lips around him and slide down his length, pressing your tongue along his frenulum as you do so, and repeat the motion a few times, hollowing your cheeks to coax as much pleasure as you possibly can out of him. 

You come up for air for a few seconds before spitting on his cock and taking him back in your mouth, feeling every protruding vein on his thick member as you swirl your tongue around it. You rapidly pick up a faster pace, bobbing your head up and down as you hear a myriad of curses escape Yoongi’s lips.

It only makes you grow bolder and bolder and so you dive down lower, only stopping when your nose brushes against soft skin. You gag lightly and repeat the motion a second time, to the man’s greatest pleasure, if his choked guttural groan is anything to go by.

As soon as the tip of his thick length hits the back of your throat, you feel Yoongi bucking his hips forward, making you gag and cough loudly around him, saliva trickling down your mouth filthily. 

“Fuck I’m so sorry,” He tugs on your hair and lifts you up, the sharp sting sending a shock of pleasure through you.

You gasp for air and feel drool sliding along your throat, all the way down to the neckline of your dress, a few teardrops escaping your eyes.

“It’s ok.. I like it,” You rasp out as soon as you can breathe somewhat normally.

Yoongi groans. “Fucking hell, yeah? You like choking on my cock, angel?” 

You mewl in response, feeling a familiar wetness in between your legs slowly spreading to the inside of your thighs. 

“Can I fuck your mouth, mmhm? Can you do that for me?” He tilts your head upwards and brings you closer, his face now a few inches away from yours.

You nod frantically, more than excited by the prospect of Yoongi fucking into your mouth aggressively, using you as he pleases to get himself off. There’s nothing quite as tempting in the whole world. At least at this moment.

“You sure?” He wipes drool off your chin and gently strokes your flushed cheek with the back of his hand.

“Yes, please..”

“Begging to choke on my cock, for fuck’s sake.”

Yoongi bruisingly crashes his lips onto yours and devours your mouth with unbridled passion, instantly and greedily swallowing your whimpers as they reach your throat. 

He disconnects your mouths and breathes out unevenly. “You ready?” 

You nod eagerly and Yoongi guides you back to his painfully hard erection. You instantly wrap your lips around him, sighing in relief as soon as you do.

He growls mutedly. “Squeeze my thigh if you ever feel uncomfortable and want me to stop, ok angel?”

You hum and tantalizingly lick the side of his length, which only makes him tighten his hold on your hair. 

He starts bucking his hips forward, and it’s slow at first, as he drags the tip of his erection against your warm tongue numerous times. But he soon picks up his pace, snapping in and out of your mouth rapidly before engulfing himself far down your tight throat, only stopping when he hears you gagging around him. 

Then he picks up an unhurried pace again and alternates between slow and fast, aggressive and gentle. You feel dizzy and completely fucked out, your underwear completely ruined by sheer arousal. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on in your life.

You squeal in surprise when Yoongi lifts you up swiftly and kisses you feverishly, as if trying to taste each and every corner of your mouth with the help of his skilled tongue.

A thick trail of saliva connects both of your mouths when you part for air. Yoongi cups your cheeks and leaves a soft peck on your swollen lips, it has you seeing stars, your heart growing bigger in size at the care he exudes through his actions.

“Such a good girl for me.” 

You smile shyly at him and nuzzle the tip of his nose, pride blooming in your chest as you realize how good you’ve made him feel.  

“Come here angel.” 

He skirts your dress up to your hip bones and helps you straddle him, holding you in place as you settle somewhat comfortably on his lap. Your legs tremble furiously when you try to hold yourself up and you whine pitifully.

“Yoongi, I don’t think I can move my legs for long.”

He leaves a sweet peck on your lips before murmuring,

“I got you.”

Your heart soars as his words register and you dive down to the crook of his neck, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses as you get rid of the bow around his collar. 

When the accessory is finally off, you leisurely unbutton his dress shirt, your fingers lingering longingly on the small expanse of his chest, now available to your rapacious hands.

You're thrown off guard when Yoongi drags the tip of his fingers against your covered core, spurring light jolts out of you as he teases you mercilessly for a few interminable seconds.

“Yoongi, please, I need you..” You sob out, your legs now shaking uncontrollably. 

“Just-, Give me a minute to make sure I don’t hurt you alright?”

“But I’m ready, please.” You plead brokenly, completely unbothered by how fucking needy you sound.

He takes a deep inhale, holding your waist with one hand before pushing your underwear aside and sliding two digits into you, his fingers meeting no resistance whatsoever.

You moan softly, and you think you could come just like this with how fucking aroused you are. 

“Fuck, you are ready.” 

Yoongi thrusts his fingers in and out of you, dragging them along your walls before slipping them out of you, much to your disappointment.

You whine and pout deeply. “I told you.”

“I know baby,” He soothes as he lightly slaps your cunt, making you shudder in his hold. 

He grips his own veiny girth, pumping it a few times while simultaneously holding your panties to the side before aligning himself with your entrance.

Your pout slowly morphs into a gasp when you feel his throbbing length sliding into you in one smooth motion, stretching you nicely around its circumference. 

“Oh fuck,” You harshly breathe out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head before coming back to focus on Yoongi’s.

The black haired man brings one hand to your hip and the other up to your throat, squeezing lightly as he steadily holds your gaze, burning lava swimming in his dark brown orbs. 

And that’s exactly how your whole body feels as Yoongi picks up a long languorous pace. Like lava, malleable, pliant and hot to the touch, like the only thing capable of laying a hand upon you would have to be something equally fiery. 

You always thought that Yoongi shared a lot of similarities with burning coal. Intoxicating, warm. Like if he wanted to, he could make you burn alongside him.

Though, if you’re being honest, you think you’ve been burning for quite some time.

You snap out of a daze like state when you feel Yoongi’s grip on your throat tightening and mewl loudly as he starts rapidly thrusting into you. He swirls his hips up and down and you can only hold on to his broad shoulders, gripping so harshly you might have left marks if it wasn’t for the jacket that the man hadn’t bothered to shrug off.

Then he slows down again, his shallow breath fanning over your face over and over again as you peer deep in his eyes, the knot in your abdomen tightening exponentially with every sharp thrust of his hips. 

You feel deft fingers crawling down your side, unzipping your dress in one quick motion before they tug the upper part of the garment down, your breast now bouncing up and down as Yoongi keeps fucking into you. 

He tweaks one of your pert nipples and latches his mouth on the other one, flicking and nibbling teasingly at it while you can only shiver in pure ecstasy.

A wanton moan slips past your throat when he suddenly picks up an unrelenting pace and you instinctively arch your back, deepening the angle at which he rams into you at full speed.

“Yoongi..” You whimper, bringing your forehead against his and the man soon cradles the side of your face. 

“Y-yeah?” He chokes out unevenly. 

Your vision focuses onto him as the rest grows blurry, you feel your orgasm at the tip of your fingers, tingling all over the extremities of your limbs, like a dam ready to burst at any moment.

“Don’t stop, fuck-“

Your head falls down on his shoulder and your peak washes over you in overwhelming waves, blinding you for a few moments as you hold onto his strong frame for dear life. You convulse and pulse steadily around him, clenching and unclenching while he continues his ministrations, his cock throbbing around your swollen folds.

“Babe-“ Yoongi starts, out of breath. “You need to get off, I’m gonna cum-” He rasps out, sinking his nails into the supple skin of your thigh.

And so you muster all the strength you can gather and lift your hips up, setting them back down as soon as you feel him slip out, much to your dismay.

He tries to grip himself but you beat him to it, pumping his veiny length fast and hard as Yoongi moans hoarsely and comes undone, spilling all over your hand in thick spurts of unrestrained pleasure.

You look into his eyes and bring your sticky hand up, licking away all traces of his white release while thoroughly maintaining eye contact. Yoongi stares at you with his mouth agape, breathing heavily and swallowing thickly.

“What are you doing to me,” He blinks and cards a trembling hand through his jet black hair, the other one softly caressing your bruised thigh.

“And what are you doing to-“ You abruptly stop, noticing light coming your way through the fogged up window. “Holy shit, someone’s coming!”

Yoongi sends you an alarmed look and lowers the backrest of his seat all the way down, making you lose your balance. You plant your hands on both sides of his body to try not to crush him under your weight and hide your face against his chest. 

“Are they close,” He whispers as he tries to cover your bare ass by laying a coat on top of your frame.

You roll your eyes against closed eyelids,

“I don’t know, I’d have to be able to see to tell you that.”

Yoongi swallows down a chuckle. “Fair enough.”

“Shhhh!” You whisper aggressively.

You both stay silent for a minute or two, your heart rates picking up when the light gets so close you can see it behind closed eyelids. But no one comes knocking on the window, and after a minute or two you lift your head up and tentatively take a peek outside.

“Oh my fucking god it was the cops, they didn’t see us,” You clasp a hand over your mouth and look at Yoongi with a mortified expression. “Can you imagine if they got here a few minutes ago.”

He glances at you with wide eyes before bursting into laughter, a wide grin appearing on his face. And you can’t help but follow suit, throwing yourself back against his chest as you both giggle endlessly.

“Oh shit, that was such a close call,” He wipes at the corner of his eyes.

You slap his chest playfully. “What a bad idea.”

“You weren’t complaining earlier,” He teases as he pulls your dress up and zips it back up, taking the opportunity to draw shapes along the expanse of your collarbone. 

You lay a long, soft kiss upon his pillowy lips, sinking into his hold for a few moments before murmuring against his lips,

“Let’s go home before someone else comes, yeah?” 

And he gives you such a tender look that you can’t help but feel so many things, things you don’t want to feel, things you’re scared of and can’t even mention out loud.

But you feel them still, simmering in your stomach comfortingly despite the terror lurking in your mind like a shadow.

“Yeah, let’s.”

“How are we this late?” 

Yoongi shoots you an unimpressed look.

“We’re late because someone decided to lay on the ground and cuddle Cat for at least a good ten minutes.” 

“Hey!” You yelp indignantly. “Cat looked like it needed cuddles.”

Yoongi slips his hand in yours as you both walk rapidly towards the bar’s main entrance.

“Cat always needs cuddles.”

“Ooo, reminds me of someone.”

The look of disgust on Yoongi’s face sends you into a raucous fit of laughter.

“Says you.”

You click your tongue, “Oh but I’m not afraid to admit it. You, on the other hand, will pretend you don’t want cuddles and affection, but you so do.”

“I’m leaving you on the side of the road tonight,” He deadpans, letting go of your hand and walking faster ahead. 

“That’s mean!” You holler and quicken your pace, grabbing his arm and leaning your head on his shoulder as the man wraps an arm around your waist.

You stop just a few feet away from the door and tug on his arm. “Yoongi.” 

“What is it?” He lifts his hand up to your cheek, carefully cradling it.

“Kiss me?” You give him your best puppy eyes.

Yoongi rolls his eyes but still leans down to lay a chaste (but fatal nonetheless) kiss upon your lips, stroking your cold cheek with the back of his thumb as he does so. 

You chase after his plush lips once he parts from you, earning you a low chuckle from the object of your affection, “Greedy.”

You pout, “So what.”

The barman shakes his head fondly. “Nothing, you’re just cute.”

“Well-,”

“You guys coming in or?” 

You both simultaneously turn towards the disruption, annoyed, just then noticing Namjoon holding the door open from the inside of the establishment.

The doorman shrugs and gives you a dimpled smile. “It’s freezing, I’m not gonna hold it forever.”

“Yeah we’re coming,” Yoongi mumbles as he slips his hand in yours and walks through the threshold.

You follow him as he steps up the stairs, an impish smile on your lips. “You’re holding my hand again.” 

He gives you a questioning look. “So what?” 

“You and Cat share a lot of traits, that’s all.”

“Oh fucking hell.”

Saturday night ends up being a pretty busy night, as usual, and so, time goes by so fast you barely have time to blink before the night is over.

You’re probing through your purse in the employees lounge when Yoongi’s voice reaches your ears, making you still in your movements instantly.

“I mean what do you want me to say Joon? I thought it might’ve been something special, but turns out it was only physical attraction and sex. I realized that not too long ago.” He sighs. “I feel fucking awful, but it is what it is.”

And if you thought you’d known heartbreak before, nothing could prepare you for the painful manner in which your stomach churns as Yoongi’s words sink in, or the way your heart feels like it’s been ripped from your chest, only to be aggressively stepped on again and again.

You don’t understand, can’t comprehend, how Yoongi can act the way he does when he’s with you, only to then say that the connection you share is merely physical, replaceable. 

You fight back tears as you make your way behind the bar, staring intently at the back of Yoongi’s black head of hair. 

“I mean it can be pretty hard to tell the difference between lust and love, I get it. They’re both so intertwined together most of the time.” Namjoon explains matter-of-factly.

“I mean what I did still sucks-“

“Yoongi..” You croak out, trying to the best of your abilities to keep it together, though you feel like you probably won’t succeed in doing so.

Both men turn around and look at you in surprise.

“I thought-“ Your voice cracks under the weight of overwhelming emotions tearing through your chest and up your throat.

You feel like throwing up, actually throwing up.

Yoongi’s surprised expression morphs into one of immense concern, he furrows his brows and steps closer.

“What’s going on?” He asks with urgency.

You shake your head frantically and step backwards as a teardrop rolls down your cheek treacherously. “I thought-“ You stop again. 

“I don’t.. I don’t know what I thought, it clearly doesn’t matter.” You turn on your heels and head back to the employees lounge, taking your purse and coat as Yoongi follows you and grabs your elbow, making you swivel around in a dizzying motion.

“Talk to me angel, what’s happening? What are you talking about? You’re scaring me..”

“Yeah well, maybe if you told me I was only a good fuck from the moment you figured it out, we wouldn’t be here right now.” You sneer angrily, hurt and shame engulfing you in a red fog of anger

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “Woah, what are you talking about? I’m confused as fuck.” 

“So am I! I can’t talk to you right now Yoongi, I’ll take a cab home.”

You shrug his hands off and storm out of the lounge, not even noticing your friends' shocked stares as you almost run to the exit, too ashamed by your emotions to let them see you like this. 

Swinging the door open, you step down the street, only stopping in your tracks once you remember your car isn’t here and you need to order a cab.

And so you open the uber app and book a ride, ignoring a notification from Jimin as the screen informs you that your driver should be here in five minutes. You exhale sharply and close your eyes, reminding yourself to take deep breaths. 

Your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you hear a door being thrown open and footsteps inching closer to you.

“Angel what the fuck is going on, talk to me. I don’t understand, fuck, you know I don’t see you as just a good fuck I-“ Yoongi’s pleading voice tugs viciously at your heartstrings, tears now streaming down your face in an unrestrained manner.

“I heard you talking to Namjoon just now, Yoongi..” You hiccup brokenly.

Yoongi cups your face delicately and you avoid his troubled gaze, opting to look at the ground instead.

There’s a thin layer of snow glistening on the concrete. You hadn’t even noticed it had been snowing until now.

“Look at me please.” 

You shake your head no, knowing you would probably break down and full on sob if you did.

He brings his forehead against yours, his hold on both sides of your face steady and so comforting it only amplifies your confused state. 

“Look at me..” 

And you can’t ignore the way his voice breaks, so you sniffle loudly and slowly lift your gaze up, meeting teary dark pools of gloom as you do. 

“I wasn’t talking about you just now, Namjoon-ah asked about Sam.. You know I think so much more of you, why would you even think I’d treat you like this..”

A sob racks through your whole being as you shakily exhale and squeeze your eyes shut. “I didn’t- I’m sorry I just assumed the worst I-“ 

“Shhh, hey, it’s ok.” 

“But it’s not ok Yoongi.” You blink a few tears away and hold his gaze. “You give me absolutely no reason to doubt you, and yet.”

You inhale deeply before speaking again, your voice tiny and feeble, unfamiliar to your own ears, 

“How is this supposed to work -us- if I can’t bring myself to trust you?”

“Woah, what are you even saying? We’ll figure it out.” Yoongi soothes, a hint of anxiousness in his warm tone.

“No, you’re not listening. You deserve better than this, than me.” 

“That’s not true.”

Yoongi’s eyes glisten with unshed tears and you just know, at that exact moment, that you really do not deserve him. Because anybody responsible for this man’s tears and pain isn’t deserving of him, plain and simple.

A black car enters your field of view and halts in front of the bar’s facade, a few meters away from you and Yoongi. You recognize the little taxi sign on top of it.

“My cab is here,” You whisper, as you peck his cheek one last time and start heading towards the cab, walking away from a dejected Yoongi with a numb mind and shattered heart.

You want to go back to his arms, let yourself be happy and content in his secure hold. But you can’t, because you feel so much for him, too much. Too much love, admiration and affection, and you can’t hold him back.

You won’t.

-

-

a/n: im not crying it’s fine, we’re good. ok ok.. I’m sorry, I love you<3 as always your feedback and comments are ALWAYS appreciated, thank you<3

// to be added to the sunrises & liquor tag list click right here and interact with the taglist post, thank you for reading <3

taglist: @knapris @tarahardcore @tea4sykes @bonitaangel @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @princesspiineapple @funkylittlebisexuall @kikaninchen-2 @diorjgguk @purplelo @lil6nmrll @perfect-bae @bxcndd @funsizemarsbar92 @kookoo-kachoo @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @glowunderthemoon @idkjustlovingbts @minijagiya @bwormie @fragmentof-indifference

#bts x you #bts fic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts au fic #bts fluff #min yoongi fic #min yoongi x you #min yoongi au #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts romance #bts angst #min yoongi x oc #min yoongi angst #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi #min yoongi scenario #min yoongi smut #bts moodboard #s&l

[rose1021]

I know you did not ask and you can ignore if you like but whenever I see Garroth’s Betrayal Sucks I feel contractually obligated to speak on what I make it in my head because I hate that pat so fucking much and of it wasnt so intrinsically tied to the time skip I would burn it to the ground

I make it an Aphmau’s Fault Too thing. Garroth being the loyal guard he is tells Aphmau about someone trying to indoctrinate him and Aphmau just says. “We can use this.” and so a double cross plot is born but Aphmau never pulls the plug even as it gets more and more apparent they cannot make this work because everything has always worked out for her before even when she goes against peoples advice, and despite Garroth insisting they should stop he doesn’t disobey his lord, until it’s already too late of course.

That solves the “Well why wasn’t any blame placed onto Garroth?” issue as well as really adds to and clears up Aphmau’s desperation to bring him home.

It also makes Aphmau missing her children’s childhoods and her village crumbling partially her own fault, the consequences do not fit the crime but to me when it’s something that big and Aphmau being such a “Makes things happen” character it should be her own fault in some way.

(this also of course breaks Garroth’s trust in Aphmau, because he thought they were friends but she ignored every concern and let him be sworn into the Jury of Nine, an establishment she knows he detests)

No thank you for bringing this up! I completely didn’t think about it that way (probably the Laurmau bias 😰) but I definitely see that this works a whole lot better than the shithole that part is, especially the part where Garroth asks about the pendant and,, (I literally paused for a whole minute I forgot what happened) ok so I may be wrong but originally aphmau refused to tell Garroth about the pendants location however after the war she finally tells him that laurance has is. Considering she knew Garroth wasn’t himself and Ofc later finding out that Garroth immediately went and stole the pendant, that would definitely point guilt onto aphmau, also like girl he’s been “sick” and been looked after by a random stranger who walks in also was it cadenza who told Lillian abt Garroth istg first Zane about laurance now this ANYWAYS especially when tensions are high in the village and there is a traitor would you not hold slightly more concern?? I hate this part can we just idk make up a different reason they go to the Irene dimension 😭. Anyways I’m not 100% abt the indoctrination however there is absolutely mistrust between Garroth and aphmau which is completely their own faults in different ways, ultimately I think it’s Zane’s fault, and if I could completely remove that part I would but alas we have to fix everything in this series.

TLDR I think in my very future rewrite the betrayal arc will turn into a oh no he’s manipulated and under a spell arc (smth like that ig) basically keep the good (needed) parts (the time skip and relic absorption) and ditch the bad (the complete butcher of Garroth)

Tempted to write out Aaron but I guess he needs to be in to get Garroth out 🙄 or we can use aphmaus Irene powers or smth

#aphmau minecraft diaries #minecraft diaries #laurmau

[mingos]

oof. so… hello.

i know i’m not obligated to explain my absences, but i figured i should anyway because this is actually a long-standing issue i've been dealing with that, god fucking willing, doesn't happen againーbut that is what i told myself three weeks ago before it happened again. basically, because it can sometimes be so common, kinda just want to give a heads up if i ever start acting weird or distant because apparently i've upset some people i didn't mean to.

that stresses me out because, as i've mentioned before, i kind of have this tendency to shut down completely during stressful situations and not speak to anybody, which eventually turns into friends dropping me for a perceived lack of interest (not their fault, my fault). i'm actively trying to break that habit & be okay with vulnerability, so i want to be honest about where i've been and where i could potentially go in the future if this shit happens againーin a few weeks, in a few months, tomorrow... it all just depends, it's not a situation i can control. i'm not trying to ignore people. i just deal with a lot sometimes.

content warnings immediately below the cut but idk maybe just don’t read this if you’re in a bad headspace, or a really good headspace that you don't want ruined. no one should read this, actually. just jump to the last two paragraphs. this is just me explaining i'll hopefully feel okay enough to be back by the weekend.

-

cw: alcoholism; cw: domestic abuse; cw: gen. bad mental health

　i currently live in a dysfunctional situation with an alcoholic & addict family member as the last person in our family yet to distance themselves/cut them off. reason being is they relapse a lot. like, “an average of at least once every 2-4 months since i was 14” a lot. this is a long-standing problem. they’ve been through quite literally every treatment plan imaginable and nothing has stuck.

i do love this person; the majority of the time they're not relapsing, they’re kind & loving. when it’s good, it’s good. but when it’s bad jesus christ… i gotta level with you and say i've feared for my life a couple times.

they become angry & spiteful when drunk and, as of the last few years, physical. mostly when i try to confiscate things i find because i'm "stealing their property" and it’s therefore, to their drunk mind, justifiable. this is a mindset i’m still trying to unlearn because of course i don’t deserve it—taking a wine bottle away from an alcoholic for their own good isn’t justification for them almost suffocating you in an attempt to get it back, or breaking the lock on your bedroom door—but it’s hard to internalize that sometimes when your brain is beaten down, y’know?

when not being guilted into silence so i don’t “ruin their life more” or get threatened with being removed from the house by police, i’ve pretty much exhausted any sympathy or help i get from the rest of my family. half of them either have my # blocked or don’t answer under the weird assumption my family member is going to… use my phone to contact them? which is something that’s never happened before. the other half kind of just shrug because i’m choosing to say here and am an adult with the ability to leave whenever i want, just like they did.

　but i can’t leave—because, like i said, it’s just me now. no one else checks on this person, no one else lives with us, and i’ve already had to call 911 for them multiple times. living with them during a relapse is hell but so is whenever i have to leave the house because if something happens to them or their dog that suddenly becomes my fault. basically, whenever these episodes happen it’s just several days (or weeks) of nonstop stress. but there's nothing else i can really do. i just have to put up with it & ride it out.

-

　things have finally calmed down again; apologies were made, talks were had, we cleaned out their stash together... i finally have some breathing room. kind of. i still have no energy to do anything because i've just been in survival mode the last week (& also sick), so hopefully i can be back to writing by this weekend but i really don't know. i'm still paranoid something bad is going to happen so maybe i'm not out of that mindset just yetーi need to decompress a little before i can feel normal again.

thank you for your patience, and for those who have checked on me & especially those who were understanding it was kind of hard for me to have the energy to talk outside of my one or two comfort people. i miss you all very many and hope nothing more for you all to be loved, warm & safe. love you all very many.

#‘ 001. ’ (out of character) #❛ 'what am i going to queue with law'? ❜ (queue) #will probably delete this eventually because this is honestly a level of Being Perceived that makes me uncomfortable because i feel patheti #but i've met at least two other people in similar situations to me so if there's anybody else out there i see you & love you.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

is givewell any good? I like the idea of trying to do the most good with my dollar (duh), but idk if the EA charities are like actually effective at that. what about givedirectly? or is that a totally unrelated thing?

So a clarification: givewell is a charity evaluator that does not conduct philanthropic work of its own, and instead tries to assess (basically) how many lives can be saved on the margin by various charitable orgs and interventions; GiveDirectly is a charity dedicated to providing direct cash transfers (no strings attached donations) to the global poor. AFAIK they have no affiliation other than existing in the same philanthropic milieu and the former routinely praising the latter on the basis of its investigations

I unqualifiedly and heartily recommend donating to GiveDirectly. It is easy, transparent, and effective at directly ameliorating what is probably the greatest problem in global politics: the stupefyingly inegalitarian distribution of the planet’s wealth. It is not a revolutionary or even potentially complete solution to this problem, but it does concretely improve the lives of ppl who need it in the here and now and does not detract from such more comprehensive longterm work besides

I’m not sure what recommending givewell would even mean, in the abstract. It provides recommendations and information about various charities. If you’re interested in researching charity efficacy, I think it provides a solid starting point. If you are asking if it makes sense to just blindly donate to their top charities, I can say that is almost certainly a better use of yr philanthropic funds than what you would get from the standard alternative (flailing around trying to find someone who looks vaguely like they’re doing good, or just throwing money at yr alma mater); ppl have complained about e.g. their credulity towards dubious studies about the efficacy of deworming in global development, but handing out free ivermectin to ppl suffering from internal parasites is still near definitely more useful than guilt-donating to Salvation Army and/or harvard

I’ll add that while a lot of EA work has acquired a (imo not undeserved) reputation recently for scamminess, the overwhelming majority of this has been in “longtermist” cause areas like (above all) AI risk rather than more tractable “neartermist” areas like poverty reduction and disease prevention, so I would not tar givewell (which deals pretty exclusively in neartermist areas) with the same brush as CEA justifying buying themselves a 15th cent. castle for conferences

#ask #anon #effective altruism ambivalence tag

[destinygoldenstar]

TEN. THOUSAND. VIEWS.

On TDDRI. Ten thousand. And Chapter 5 isn’t even out yet.

Guys… I…

I’m speechless. Idk what to say.

Something I wrote is now in the realm of being popular?!

I…

I can’t even type. Wow. You guys have butchered my ability to write and now I am unable to continue TDDRI.

(That was a joke)

This is a HUGE New Years Present for me.

I’ve been writing since I was six. My work was shit. As you’d imagine for a six year old.

But I loved doing it so I kept doing it. It was where my child imagination lied. I wrote a ton of knock offs. I would have journals and write fictional characters instead of diaries of myself. I would draw characters of a narrative.

Now I study creative writing. For a hobby. I was an A+ student in my class. I had a book released when I was 11. I was a runner up in a city contest and was interviewed by the mayor of where I lived. At 13. I’m writing whenever I have free time. I’m writing analytics on social media. I didn’t even have an account in high school. I’m giving writing advice to people on the internet. Writing is basically my life at this point.

So you’d think that I would be someone well known for writing, right?

No.

There’s a lot that don’t know or care that I exist.

Because, I have a fear of what people think of me.

I’m constantly worrying that I say the slightest things wrong, and then I become a cancelled figure. Loathed for a mistake. For the rest of my life. Where everyone constantly harasses you that you’re some evil person and the world is better without you.

Because of that I’ve been incredibly phobic with showing people my writing. I would write, but I would never show it to anyone unless I was forced to. Even after getting praised like the examples I gave of ‘achievements’. I felt like shit for even getting them in the first place. Like deep down, I was some hack who didn’t deserve it.

And it goes FAR beyond a basic phobia.

I do feel comfortable to at least share it now. Cause I would never three years ago. Believe me, don’t, it’s fine by me. You don’t have to believe anyone online.

I was in the fifth grade. I was freshly moved out of my state that I grew up in before that, the world I loved to live in so much. Gone. And I was forced and expected by my peers to accept the changes and ‘get used to it’. So I lied. When I didn’t lie, people got upset. They would try to hide how I felt.

I didn’t learn I had Asperger’s syndrome until I was 13, so this was before that. But my parents knew. Didn’t tell me till I was a teen. I was definitely ‘the weird kid’ for it. They played rough and ran with soccer balls. I played in the fields running around imaging I was a bunny. Kids my age told me to stop it.

Sure, I was at least known, as that same year I was elected out of the entire school to be the soloist of the end of the year concert. But everyone told me I didnt deserve it. Shy, timid, anxious me who jumped at anything.

I only ever became confident whenever I was in my little writing corner. Which, at first, was just another ‘weird’ thing.

Hell, my blog username, ‘GoldenStar’ is literally the name of my self insert character. Fun fact.

But I had a friend group.

And that friend group was the main culprit of bullying.

It was two girls. One of them was really sarcastic and hard to read, and a compulsive liar. The other was the one who invited me to be a friend, and a focus on this story.

She took advantage of me since the beginning. Both of them did cause they both stole my stuff and passed it off as ‘friend lending a friend’. She saw a naive innocent overly sweet and kind girl who would freak out and believe and scream at anything.

Because I am exactly that. I am EXACTLY that.

Constantly lied to me to see my overly dramatic reactions and laugh at them. Guilt tripped me whenever I hanged out with anyone else. Stole from me. Whenever I achieved something, she would say “Don’t worry. I know you don’t deserve it. Your secret is safe with me.”

It was mental abuse. And considering how horribly wrong bullies are portrayed in guidance class videos (and Dhar Mann), I never picked up on it until three years later. I never had a clue that this friend was actually a bully. Because she didn’t show any of the signs of a fictional one. The kind that manipulated you into thinking they were on your side.

And then the THING happened.

The reason why I cut off my writing from the world for so long.

There was a writing project. We all had to write a fictional book.

This was my time to shine and I went full force l on this project. In my element. In the moment every single step of the way.

The other kids wrote a Minecraft story. I wrote a solely original fantasy about fairies and colonialism that dealt with equality issues through magic.

I distinctly remember being the last one to present to the class. I put up this dramatic narration while doing it. Be being wholeheartedly confident for the first time in front of my classmates. And everyone seemed to love it to pieces.

It was so loved that my teacher elected me as a representative in the school to have the story presented in a citywide fair.

Next to no one got something like that from what I heard.

I was even elected ‘best writer’ at the end of the year. When we were giving out rewards on who was the most of what.

It would’ve been great. I had never been that popular before. I was getting rewarded for something I loved and was proud of. My parents thought I was going to become successful with my writing.

And then my ‘friend’ had something to say about it.

Recess. Right after I got the reward news.

What did she do? Did she say what she always said? “I know you don’t deserve it” Some quiet gaslight like that?

No.

She strangled me.

Grabbed me by the neck and shoved me into a tree, screaming in my face “WHY ARE YOU SUCH A HACK?!?” “YOU DONT DESERVE THIS AT ALL!!” “EVERYONES A MORON FOR NOT SEEING THROUGH YOUR EVIL TRICKS! I DO THOUGH!!” “YOURE A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR WRITING THAT!” “YOU WILL BE HATED BY EVERYONE IF YOU KEEP WRITING SO STOP WRITING!!”

Having it hard to breathe was one thing. My mental state was the real thing that got strangled out. So yeah, I got beaten up.

NOBODY did anything about it btw. They all ignored us. No one said anything to the teachers. They did nothing. She completely got away with it.

She drilled it into my head, by force, that I was a hack of a writer who would never have an original idea in her life, and everyone would despise me if I became a writer.

I believed it.

I still don’t know why I put up with her after that. I didn’t catch on till three years later that she was the one in the wrong. Gosh I’m stupid.

I shut down after that. I stopped showing anyone my writing. I avoided writing in public at all costs. I tried avoiding showing anyone my writing ever again. Even if it meant I got a failing grade. I would fail writing classes on purpose just to avoid the humiliation she lied about.

As for the reward? I don’t have the medal anymore. Or the book. That’s why it’s not published in stores from my knowledge. I threw both of them away after the ceremony. Ashamed. Disgusted by myself.

Not kidding, I spent that whole Christmas Break rewriting the entire story from shame alone.

My parents were so confused because I never told them what happened. I mean, I could’ve been successful at something I was proud of, go on to bigger things and achievements. But instead I threw it all away.

And my classmates too turned on me when I decided not to write anymore. Bully target.

From then on I stayed with the ‘friend’. I stayed her right hand. I would constantly tell everyone,

“I can’t write” “I can’t write”

Over and over again.

I still wrote. But it was a secret.

It got to the point where I just decided ‘I’d rather embrace the anxious shy weird girl than be confident’, and just embraced the full stereotype. Someone who would react to anything and scream at anything. Then when I got sick of that around my adolescence I decided I couldn’t cry anymore, those screams were anxiety AND anger towards anyone who pushed my buttons. I was the bully target till Covid. And few helped me because they all hated me. I was a very hot tempered hypocritical person who never shut up or stopped and only could when attacked by panic. On the last day before quarantine, everyone was joking about Covid and saying it was the best thing to ever happen, even the teacher, and I got mad, and everyone else kicked me out of class early. “Good riddance. No one will miss you.”

I was the nasty person. I was someone who couldn’t be sympathized. I was the bully. Not her.

And no one there does. Because I ended up moving again and never seeing them again.

As for what happened to that ‘friend’? It was kind of a distance thing that broke us apart rather than me ever standing up for myself in any way. So technically, she won.

From what I heard now she’s hooked on drugs. And my only reaction when I heard it was ‘Sad. Not my problem though.’

I don’t know if that’s heartless to not bring myself to care or not.

I can’t tell you if any of this classifies as PTSD or just classic trauma. Im not a therapist.

Then in my sophomore year of high school, I accidentally got one of my books leaked to my English teacher. Technology.

It was a book I wrote during quarantine, where I could just be myself and no one to harass me. (It’s also rewritten on Ao3 on my account if you’re curious)

I was ready to apologize for the error, but instead my teacher said that she loved it. And she questioned why I never mentioned I was ‘quite the talented writer’. We had a meeting and I told her the truth and why I kept it a secret. I even went on and on about how I believed I was a hack. Then she opened my eyes that I was not the one in the wrong in that situation. That I was not a hack and there was definition proof that I wasn’t. So I got booked to creative writing class when I went back to school, which I hesitantly accepted.

A few years later I would start my social media presence to try and get my writing off the ground. As I was trying hard to overcome my trauma and get my confidence back.

It didn’t work out. Cause no one reads original stuff anymore. And no one knew me. So yeah, I got nothing. So I tried joining fandoms instead, of shows I watched during quarantine, one of them being Total Drama. I tried making essays about my thoughts on stuff and slowly I got around to a hundred followers. Over that at the time of this post.

Then I got the crazy idea to try fanfiction for the first time. (Yes. Straight up. I never wrote fanfiction before that.) So I took a popular fanfic premise from the Total Drama community and decided ‘I’m going to try that. No one will read it though, so it’s fine if it’s bad.’

And well, look at where the fic is now. I was wrong. SO WRONG.

This is my most popular work ever. It’s very rare that I see any fanfic get over ten thousand views, let alone before it’s finished. Not only that, but I see many people online sharing their thoughts on the story and saying ‘this is no contest the best version of this fanfic premise and people need to see it’ ‘please see this it’s so good’ ‘when is it going to get updated’?!

And just… I NEVER imagined. I never imagined anyone would even CARE. Let alone to THIS height. I just… I can’t…

My parents still think I threw my writing passions away. They don’t support it anymore unless it’s a ‘positive happy go lucky story’. “You can’t be a writer. You can’t make a career out of fine arts. Or theater arts. Be a scientist. Be a meteorologist. Write facts for news.”

I can’t express enough how much this milestone truly means to me. Like, I actually did it. I can write something and have it get peoples attention, and people CARE. They actually CARE. And I’m so sorry I can’t live up to your standards and finish it faster and you have to wait another year for it to be completed-

I’m not editing this. I’m just rambling with text. It’s what I do. Those who follow me know this is who I am.

So just…

This has been a huge year for me. I graduated this year. I got a job. I’m working now. And I got this as icing on the cake for this year.

Seriously. Thank you for 10,000 views on Total Drama Danganronpa Island

#total drama #danganronpa #total drama danganronpa island #ao3 #ao3 writer #wattpad writer #wattpad #wattpad fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #my writing #creative writing #writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writeblr #tw trauma #trauma #ptsd