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#if i graduate that means ill have more time to write whatever i want
bitchfendi · 1 year
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if i graduate its over for you motherfuckers
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foreingersgod · 11 days
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Literally my favorite wbb writer on here😭💕💕!! Could you maybe write kate Martin x reader angst?
UGGHHH, i love you all so much, your support means the world to me!! thank you sm :’)
Thick and Thin . KM
pairing: kate martin x reader
synopsis: you and kate go through a rough patch
A/N: NOT PROOF READ
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
to say you were a supportive girlfriend would be an understatement, you went to every game, every event, comforted kate after every loss and celebrated after every win. any athlete would be lucky to have you at their side. and at the beginning of your relationship, kate knew that. she was so grateful that she had you in her life. if you weren’t there on the side lines cheering her on or doting on her whenever she needed it, she wouldn’t be where she’s at now.
but as of recently, she’d become too entangled in the game. sure, an athlete like herself would obviously be committed and stressed when it came to their sport. but kate had always made sure you understood that you were her number one priority, basketball second. she wanted to make sure you knew how much she loved you, showing you the same amount of love and support that you always showed her. and for a while, it was working out fine. you split your girlfriend duties 50/50 and made sure each other were always satisfied and happy in the relationship.
now, though, it felt like kate has just stopped caring. you weren’t sure if it was graduation, or saying goodbye to the team, she wouldn’t talk to you at all. she was cold and more distant than normal. she didn’t help you out around the house, she didn’t bring you home flowers every friday night like she used to, she didn’t kiss you goodnight or pull you into her chest before bed, you felt suddenly neglected. kate was acting like a completely different person and it was really starting to take a toll on you.
you tried to let this phase run its course in hopes that she’d return to her normal self again, but things seemed to only be getting worse. she started coming home later than normal, stopped taking you to banquets and events. hell, she didn’t even care that you waited for her outside the locker room after each game to see her. instead, she would brush past you to talk to her friends and family. it’s like you were invisible.
no matter how much it hurt you, you still wanted to support your girlfriend and kept going to the games and cheering her on, even if she didn’t notice you were there.
but on this particular night, outside the locker room once more, something inside you told you to wait for her and figure out what was going on. you weren’t going to be brushed off any longer.
you felt like you were going to melt, sitting on the bench outside the doors. your heart was racing and your head was spinning hoping that she’d be the next one to walk out. and soon enough, your prayers were answered, kate came waltzing through the doors moments later. duffel bag in hand, hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. surprisingly, she saw you and walked over to see you.
“hey, i’m gonna go over to hannah’s place to hang out with the girls tonight” she looked down at her phone, typing out a text. figures, she couldn’t even look at you “i don’t know when i’ll be home so. ill probably see you in the morning”
you scoffed, now she wasn’t even coming home with you anymore? is the only time she’s going to talk to you is to tell you she’s leaving? your blood must’ve been boiling, your heart sank watching her completely blow you off.
“what’s that all about?” she asked, irritated.
“nothing, nothing” you sighed, beginning to walk away “do whatever you want i don’t fucking care”
she grabbed your wrist, forcing you to stop in your tracks and talk to her “what’s your fucking problem? i can’t go out with my team now? i thought you were supposed to be a supportive girlfriend, huh?”
“really? you’re going to pull that card?” now you were fuming, you were lucky no one was around to witness this “i’ve been nothing but supportive, kate. you know that! i do everything i possibly can to be supportive. and all i ask if that you do the same for me, but you’ve quite literally treated me like shit these past few weeks!”
“that’s such bullshit-”
“no it’s not kate! you’re not even home anymore! you don’t buy me flowers or take me out on dates like you used to! i don’t even remember the last time you kissed me because you’re too fucking busy with all this other shit! and when it’s late and i’m waiting out here for you, time and time again, you blow me off to go out with the team. again. it never ends, kate”
“i don’t know why you’re choosing to bring this up now” she yelled “lets just go home, fuck, i won’t go out tonight if you’re gonna make a scene!”
“you’re unbelievable, kate i hope you know that” you wanted to scream “go home, go with the team, i truly don’t care. but im not gonna keep doing this with you.” you pushed past kate, who was trying to drag you out to the car at this point, making your way to the door and storming down the street alone.
“where the hell are you going, YN” she chased after you “seriously, what the fuck, let’s just go home, i’m sorry!”
you ignored her and kept walking, if she was going to treat you like this, then you weren’t going to put up with her anymore. you’d stay at a friends place or a hotel if it meant you didn’t have to take this neglect anymore.
kate persisted, still chasing you down the side walk, dodging numerous couples and families just trying to enjoy their evening. you tried to pretend she wasn’t there, persistent on getting away from her as far as possible. but before you could turn around the next corner to try and get her off your back, she grabbed your foreman and pulled you back into her like she had done before.
“stop running, you’re acting like a child” she tried to keep her voice level “just come home so we can talk about this, please”
you didn’t even look at her, complying, as you let her lead you to the car and take you home.
when you arrived at your building, you both stood in complete silence as you entered the the apartment. you hung up your coat, took off your shoes, and sat on the couch waiting for her to start talking.
“so talk, kate. since that’s what you wanted to do.”
“YN, come on” she groaned, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch “i don’t get why we need to have this conversation.”
“you don’t get it?” you were astonished, was she that fucking clueless “you don’t see what’s been going on?”
she just looked at you sadly, fingers massaging her temples in frustration.
“kate i know that things are difficult right now. i can’t even imagine what you’re feeling when you have to deal with all these things with basketball and try and handle everything else outside of that too. but you’ve changed, babe, and it feels like you’ve just stopped caring about me all together”
“you know that’s not true,” she said. “i love you so much, you know that”
“but do i, kate?” you shook your head “im sitting outside of that locker room, telling you all these things you’ve been doing that have seriously hurt my feelings…and you’re just not listening!”
“ok i’ll admit i’ve been distant! and im sorry for that, i really am, but i didn’t realize it was that big of a deal!” she defended “things have been so hectic and im struggling to keep everything together and-and then there’s stuff going on with my family and caitlin’s always asking me to-”
she began to ramble, telling you every possible thing that had been on her mind recently. you had no idea it was this bad.
“kate…” you leaned over, rubbing her shoulder to try and soothe her “i had no idea all of that was going on? why didn’t you just talk to me about it? you can always trust me with these things”
she leaned forward, letting her head fall into her hands, trying to keep her composure “because you’re always so good to me and i didn’t want to dump all of this on you and make you deal with it. i just don’t want my problems to become yours”
“and that’s very thoughtful, but i’m here to help. and even if i wasn’t…that doesn’t give you the right to just cut me off as a girlfriend completely, it’s so unlike you…and for you to get so upset with me when i just wanted to spend time with you after the game tonight? you’d never do that”
“i know, you’re right, i just..” she looked over to you, eyes bloodshot from holding in tears “i guess i thought that if i secluded myself and kept you out of it that it might be easier to deal with…but i was so fucking wrong. and i shouldn’t have pretended like this was normal, it’s not. i’m so sorry that i’ve been abandoning you and not even realizing”
“i’m…im not gonna sit here and say it’s ok, cause it’s not. but i know that this isn’t you. i know that you can fix yourself and trust me to help you sort out whatever’s bothering you. but i really need you to try. i miss the old you, i miss the good morning kisses and making me dinner and our movie nights, you know?”
she smiled, reminiscing “i miss it too, im gonna be better, i promise.”
“i know, and i love you ok?”
“i love you too, thank you for putting up with all my shit, i don’t deserve you”
you pulled her into you, reveling in her embrace for the first time in weeks, you could already feel things falling back into place.
it was going to take a long time for you to get back into your old dynamic with kate, but you understood that she was under a lot of pressure and she understood that you had struggles and needs just the same. so you promised to tackle it all, sticking together through thick and thin.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/N: i’m very bad at writing angst so i apologize! if you guys request something and my outcome for it isn’t what you had wanted, feel free to message me and ill re write it for you, i want you guys to be completely satisfied with your requests!
on that same note, i’ve still got a few requests i’m finishing up and then i’ll open that back up again, thanks for understanding <3
have a lovely day!! :)
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purpleyoonn · 1 year
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Dance of Time
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P R E V I E W
“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski
Summary: You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.
Pairing: Vampire BTS x Human Reincarnated Reader
Status: Coming Soon
Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, yandere themes, possessive boys, angst, fluff,
Warnings: smut, violence, tempers, mentions of death, murder, some explicit descriptions of violence, blood,
Some warnings may be added to the beginning of individual chapters.
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“Okay, so I do have some questions that I would like to ask, if that’s okay?” You speak for the first time since the tour began. The boys share another quick glance before Namjoon nods.
“Of course. What tour would this be if there were no questions to be asked.” His words had you calming down a bit.
“Okay. First question. Can you tell me why this manor was nicknamed the ‘Weeping Manor’?” You were still walking as you had your pen pressed to your paper, ready to write down whatever their answer was.
“I think you will actually find the answer within the last room.” Namjoon gestured to Jin who opened the door at the end of the north corridor.
The door opened into a large room, shelves filling the space as you looked towards the right, books with pages spilling out just calling your name as your mouth opened in awe. 
Right in front of you was a large oak desk, the top of it covered in your books and articles, you could even see some pieces highlighted or underlined as you slowly walked closer.
You felt nervous, the entire atmosphere shifting from joyful and playful to dark and eerie. You turned behind you to question Namjoon or Jin but they were gone. The door now closed and the room’s only light coming from the slightly open shades on the window behind the desk.
Your eyes flittered across the space, looking for the two men who seemingly disappeared into thin air, wanting to leave and be done with the tour.  You didn’t like the feelings you were having, the cold air brushing across your skin coming from nowhere.
“Mr. Kim?” You called out, turning back around to the door only to have your eyes catch sight of a large family portrait.
It was a painting of the property, dating back to 1838 when the manor was originally built, even before the town had an official name and place on the map. Seven men resided in the front of the portrait, sitting and standing in a line just in front of the large pine tree that resided to the right of the men.
You moved forward to get a closer look at the portrait when the tiny description just below caught your eye.
“The Kim Coven. Ca. 1838.”
Coven? What did that even mean? Your confusion didn’t end there but grew into shock and something like horror when you finally looked up to the faces within the portrait.
The man standing within the middle of the painting was a spitting image of the man who gave you the tour. The same man who met you at the local diner and exchanged emails back and forth with you.
To his right, and to your even deeper horror, stood Seokjin, eyes almost staring at your shaking from beneath the paint.
You took a step back, your hand covering your mouth in fear as you tried to back away from the painting when you bumped into someone. A whimper leaving your lips as you tried to quiet your sobs.
“Please…please.” You began to beg, knowing you were done for.
“Oh, darling. Please don’t cry.” The man behind you coos, a hand moving up to move your hair away from your neck as a small kiss is pressed to your skin.
“You’re finally home.”
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caintooth · 1 year
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you give off grad student vibes; are you?
yeah i’m a grad student, like, spiritually ;) no LMAO i’m kidding it would be fucked if someone actually claimed that
real answer tho, no i’m not currently! i’m taking some time off to work a job, have hobbies, and be a “student of life” or whatever, which is what i was trying to convey with that bad intro joke.
so, this is way more than you asked for, but… idk i’ve been meaning to say a lot of this for a while and writing it all out felt good, so unfortunately your ask is now the base for it lmao!
i think it’s important to talk about academic stress and how it can ruin not just your love of learning, but your sense of self.
for background info, i have a general Associate of Arts degree, and a Bachelor of Arts degree for which i completed a comparative literature major, with an ‘official’ focus in creative writing (though ‘personal’ focus in poetry, video games, film, and the fluidity between those mediums), and a minor in religious studies. i graduated in may of this year.
now, as a child, my mom was very harsh about school, to the point that my cousins would not want to come over during summer breaks because they knew we would be doing some sort of worksheets that my mother had designed. my “free” time was filled with non-stop educational camps, day classes, documentary watching, museum trips with worksheets, etc. until i was about age 14. and i do know that on one hand i am extraordinarily privileged to have had those experiences, and i am very thankful for them! but the reason those stopped is because i also grew up with several undiagnosed, thus untreated and increasingly severe mental illnesses. so i’m sure you can make the connections necessary to see how… damaging… my mother’s academic pressure became. i didn’t continue with further extracurricular programs because i ceased to be able to go even to regular school. my anxiety, both academic and social, became so severe that i was placed on a local program called “home hospital school”, which is normally reserved for terminally ill patients. i eventually transferred to an “early college” program because i could not go back to “regular” high school and at that point, wanted to be done with school as quickly as possible.
i took a gap year after graduating with both my high school and 2-year college degree on the same day. i was terrified and exhausted and having regular breakdowns about having to apply for more undergraduate classes. eventually i applied to 2 programs just to appease my mother that i would have at least one school and a “back-up,” and my first choice was the program at UNC-CH i just graduated from. i attended therapy just to push myself to do those applications.
and the first half of my time at UNC was… terrifying and confusing. i didn’t know what i actually “wanted” to do with my life let alone my day-to-day time, what i enjoyed, or why i was there. my dissociative disorder grew worse during that time than it had in my entire life. but eventually, being away from my mother gave me the chance to explore topics i never thought were even possible in an academic space! i took classes where we played video games for an hour straight, talked about the social origins of different urban legends, dissected how people fall for conspiracy theories, excitedly discussed queer and disabled life as a form of radical resistance… i even got so lucky that in my senior year, i was able to take only the classes i wanted and had chosen for personal enrichment.
what i’m trying to say is that i’d forgotten that learning could be fun. the reason my mom pushed me so hard in the first place, that little spark she saw in my eye: i fucking love learning, i love to discover, to fuel my curiosity, to ask dangerous questions. i love digging into the meat of life and finding out why and how. because it helps me understand more about myself, my friends, my passions. i spent so long doing what my mother wanted that i no longer knew what i wanted, or who i even was outside of her expectations.
which is exactly the reason i can’t go back to school right now. what i hope anyone still reading takes away from my words is this: if the subject doesn’t make you hungry for more, it’s not the subject for you. if you’ve spent so long being force-fed that you can’t remember what’s actually good to eat anymore? you must re-learn not only how to chew, but how to truly taste your food.
‘cause personally i feel like i need to stock my kitchen with so many more ingredients before i’ll be ready to cook the meal i truly want, y’know? and i know some of those ingredients i probably don’t even know the name of yet. to go back to school right now would be limiting for me. i’m pirating anthropology essays, experimenting with new photography methods, taking metalworking classes, writing a fake thesis about my favorite band, reading and reading and reading whatever the hell i want about any weird subject that strikes me. i’m expanding my goddamn palate.
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komatsunana · 2 years
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Uhhhh, so I gotta admit defeat and admit I won’t be able to finish any of the projects I wanted to for NANA Week 2022 Day 7............ Sorry 😔😭
Instead I bring you a super sneak-peak of my long awaited (for me, anyway lmao) Nana Osaki mega meta analysis, in which I will be going through chapter by chapter discussing Nana Osaki as a character.  This analysis will... very likely be very long and potentially my magnum opus contribution to the NANA community.
Today, I can only offer you the rough draft of my introduction and I can only hope anyone else wants to see more one day... lol
Nana Osaki, the deconstruction of the girl we wanted to be
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By no means is my first experience reading and watching NANA a universal one.  We’re in the midst of the NANA Renaissance at the time of writing this is in early 2022.  Times are different now than they are then.  Then being the year 2006.   I was 14 or maybe even 13, just about to graduate from middle school into high school.  
The thing to understand was I was raised in the era of “not like other girls.”  Not like other girls were different from other girls, or at least they thought they were.  Other girls were feminine, popular, and liked make up, fashion, dating boys and the color pink.  They were sluts.  And you were not, you were chaste and read books or were into some odd hobby that made you feel both ostracized from everyone else and better then them too.  You were independent, that’s why you didn’t have any friends… it wasn’t because you couldn’t make any ok!!  You weren’t like other girls, you were better.
Enter Nana Osaki.
She was cool and rebellious, she wasn’t like other girls.  She was punk and edgy.  Nana didn’t move to Tokyo for her boyfriend, she was independent.  She didn’t need a man, even if she had one she let him go.
Nana was who we wanted to be, us young not-like-other-girls who first read NANA.
Fast forward many years.  Ai Yazawa gets ill and puts NANA on hiatus.  Attitudes change, not like other girls unlearn the internalized misogyny (or don’t… or do but change their sense of superiority to some other target).  #MeToo, #YesAllWomen, #LoveWins, #BlackLivesMatter, #BringBackOurGirls, #IceBucketChallenge, #TakeAKnee, #FreeBritney [re-order later].  More people care about social justice but it’s been packaged and commodified in a capitalist hellscape.  A virus, a pandemic, lockdown and quarantines…  The world is forever different and NANA is still on hiatus.
But we can still reread NANA as many times over as we want in that span of time.  And you read it enough times to realize…  Nana Osaki the girl 13 year old you wanted to be?  You were her, you were always her.  You may not have dressed in vintage Vivienne Westwood, sing, or have a tattoo and piercings but you were her in all the ways that mattered.
Because just like you, Nana was just a scared little girl who wanted to be loved and was scared of rejection.
Unlike you time was frozen still for her, stuck between the pages of the manga.  You grew up and she did not… And maybe… she never did even between the pages of the manga.
My ultimate thesis statement for this analysis is this:  Nana Osaki character arc and journey through the series is not one of the usual character growth that we have come to expect in our narratives.  Instead what we have witnessed in NANA is the deconstruction of one Nana Osaki.  Like unraveling the wraps of a mummy, an unending nesting doll, or layers of an onion ala Shrek… Whatever metaphor you like best, Nana Osaki is deconstructed throughout the series* until what we find at the center of her character is the little girl her mom abandoned in the snow.
*this is not including the glimpses of Nana Osaki we see in the future.  Without the key events that lead to that moment, it’s hard to really say for sure one way or the other.
And the Nana Osaki we met in the prologue as well as the Nana Osaki we left on that final page of chapter 84…  She is fundamentally unchanged as a person, even if Nana’s life and loved ones expanded in all the chapters between.  Every action, decision, and belief that Nana holds from prologue to chapter 84, Nana always had the capacity to do and hold.
Other aspects of Nana to be discussed include:  her alcoholism, jealousy, possessiveness, and internalized conservative values within a punk sphere. [more to be added]
to be continued.................. Happy NANA Week, I cannot wait to bring you the rest one day.
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ram-de · 9 months
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my usual tuesday kinda day
oh wow, look who's here. me again. venting, thinking i'm going to have some reflective introspection moment only to get back and let myself fall deeper into the hole i dig myself. exactly. i know what i'm doing. and i can't even blame my home or my family. because i'm given space and time and all the warm comfort i needed. it's all me. i could blame my habit or some kind of mental illness but i'm not diagnosed and at this point that's just me trying to pick at something to blame.
i wrote a lot about how i'm so flawed and complain about myself and my life a lot. but there's not enough guilt. maybe i felt guilty when i wrote it, but all of it gone when i slept. the morning always fresh, though a bit clueless with all the options of what kind of distraction i'm going to sink deep into.
i've tried books. i don't read books, but if it's a distraction, i can dedicate weeks switching books. i've tried manga. andi i liked mangas, all the tropes and all the pretty art of works that i mostly read pirated because... i'm not exactly working and i don't know if i could afford subscription prices. i should work and let myself face the reality of how hard it is to make money but here i am. talking big and doing nothing. what else have i tried. oh. i've tried games, too. rhythm games, genshin and later on honkai. they're fun and immersive. i've tried netflix, movies or shows in general. and since i'm a marathon kind of guy, what else is there to do than to binge watch most of the series i found interesting?
i've tried lots but not anything productively. well, i tried doing doodling and sketching random things as a hobby. couldn't commit. what else? huh... i don't remember most of it. look at that. i haven't tried much. i didn't do things to improve myself. and no matter how long of a paragraphs i could write about how i really wanted to improve. i don't know if myself would commit to it. that's how much i don't believe in what i could do. 'coz it's so easy for me to bail. to ditch. to leave. to run away. to postpone. to be still. stagnant.
i'm such a hypocrite. fuck myself, am i right. fuck it all. but i can't afford to fuck it all life like that. because... because i spent time pursuing academics... and... and... it's just... i should be more desperate to run past the finishing line. but instead it's more of a whatever-ish kind of vibes from myself. it's so. weird.
it's easy to imagine how liberating doing such an fuck it all moves in life. i can't do fuck it all for a final year project of college because else how can't i graduate?! i can't do fuck it all for post-graduation plans because how else can i get a job? i can't do fuck it all for even coming out and saying i'm gay because i don't have a job and also i don't want to like be apart of my family and be estranged for it. i can't do fuck it all for shaving my head because i'm too much of a coward to make it like a symbolic kind of acts to make a fresh things to start my life with, and for me to just think of it like leaving my burden away with the hair being shed and cut. i can't do fuck it all because maybe i don't want to fuck life itself. i have hopes. but fuck me for not holding onto that strong enough to push myself forward. to force me to walk and do stuff. fuck it all. i said. fuck it...
what even i'm saying. i had this outline in my head about how i want to start the post of vent. so basically. i watched two seasons of the white lotus and it's such a good show. tense. funny. s1 definitely funnier than s2. it's so unhinged it's good. and ahem theo james. yes. um. what? no. i mean, i love series with ensemble cast. and the way it all lead up into the chaos that is the finale? *chef kiss* methinks.
okay, what else. ok prelude done. uh... then i was going to link it with why i was watching the white lotus in the first place. yes, yes. i was thinking of a show that is similiar to nine perfect strangers. and this one shows up right there. better, tbh. so... yep. and why was i watching nine perfect strangers in the first place? well, i was looking for bobby cannavale's other works since i liked his character in the station agent, joe. i think. i wrote a post about it. thinking it's going to be my. like. last movie before i face the world and my problems that i hid under my bed. and look am i here! you know what, why was i watching that in the first place? well, because i was watching kembang api on netflix, and was downright UNDERWHELMED by it. like. really. zero chemistry whatsoever. I'M NOT HATING ON LOCAL MOVIES!! i was intrigued by this movie and the premise. time loop? yea i'm a time loop trope enthusiast. ensemble cast? (i mean it's like 4, but still they're strangers) ok yea i like that too. and yea whatever. why was i watching this movie in the first place? becasue i was tired reading books.
and why was i reading books in the first place. exactly. distraction. fuck me.
ugh. i could talk about it for hours!!!! i should talk about it, actually. but like. with real people. not a void. but i like the void too.
currently? i'm thinking of what kind of lines i'm going to write? am i leaning into the oh i'm so scared of myself and the future or, would it be more into the well i don't think i cared anymore or stuff like that. but then i ended up thinking about what am i going to write? how do i want to be perceived when someone reads this like duh this is a venting blog no one is supposed to read this.
whatever...
how can i practice self-compassion when i'm so ignorant to my own responsibility? when i basically ditched myself? when i... i let myself be in this kind of situation again and again. there's no solution to a problem that i am not willing to work to solve. am i not willing? i'd like to think i am but i don't know how. no, scratch that. i am too ignorant to be willing. i don't know anymore.
maybe it's my hungry stomach writing. whatever... ugh... i'm reminded on the monthly reflection thing and the monthly spotify playlist too. see how commited i am to it whole? ahh....
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I feel like Drezz could just not telling Tallis his story. And if yes, maybe he got this control chip out of Drezz, since he himself did made such things like one in Jack. Also, Drezz just could act in Eclipse like he doesn't recognise anyone and anything, so he won't be taken away. Also it was said that Four had mental problems, Drezz arms bandaged in places where some people with some mental illness making cuts.
Also, Klipse actually doesn't seems THAT bad to Six. I mean, he wasn't happy to be called father at first, but he was mostly fine with that in case of reaction. Also, in Lynchpin, he did caught Six from falling on the ground, and then in the end of this episode, when Six himself told that he failed, Klipse said what sounded like " yes, but it's okay, you did well and almost won." And which Six we see later looks like more like a spoiled kid who really blindly loves his parent. And who could make Six call monsunos pet? I guess Klipse was one like in stories people write, he wouldnt allow Six to be so childish and hush him for that. Only time when Klipse showed to wanted to punish Six was actually moment for Six to ran to Chase to make situation with stealing Lock.
ANON! THE LINK TO THE THEORY!
Anyway:
So I had to rewatch season 2 just to remember Drezz’s characteristics. And let’s just say Drezz and Six almost have the same personality traits. And they do share a voice actor…
That being said, Drezz telling Tallis his backstory and Tallis helping him get out his chip might have been done out of sympathy. Tallis hated being under STORM, and Charlemagne’s rule, but he LIKED Charlemagne despite her cruel personality and he wanted to be with her despite everything. Drezz, if he is number Four, has Klipse as he creator and whatever caused his mental illness had to be linked to him and forced him to flee Klipse, but he still wanted a father figure since his relationship with Tallis in the show is somewhat of a father and son relationship. Tallis also hated Klipse, so he’s fine never telling that man about Drezz’s secret and that’s why Drezz stays with him. Idk why Tallis wanted to work with Klipse in season 3, but if it because of what happened in the finale of season 2, then fine, but it’s still cruel to do that to Drezz, and really it’s a plot hole to be honest since it’s just sudden with no build up.
As for Klipse not being that bad to Six… I may have not graduated yet and still studying psychology to get a degree, but let me tell you this. Six being a spoiled, but loyal brat is because Klipse is enabling Six’s bad behavior and his actions towards his enemies. He might not be giving Six punishments, but he’s not doing anything overly negative to him because he learned from previous “mistakes” what he needs to do to have a loyal clone. Six from season 2 was a nice, naive, and curious clone who only would fight if ordered, but Six in season 3 was a personality flip. In the S3 episode “Pet”, Six was cruel and sadistic, he sees people he was once cordial to as mice and wanted to actually destroy people and blow up a city for a ‘pet.’ And in his last appearance, the episode “Ceasefire”, Six was still overly confrontational and aggressive even if he toned it down compared to Pet. His S3 actions are hinting that he’s developing a mental disorder of his own because of the people and environment he’s living in, and it makes sense since Six is technically a baby in terms of actual age, experience and emotional development. What he sees and thinks aren’t wrong to him even if it’s morally wrong to most people because it’s what he only knows.
That being said, if Drezz is Four, then it makes that entire situation of season 3 much worse for both him and Six because he’s seeing another clone of Klipse doing downhill, and he can’t help out of fear.
I know I could make things sound nice, but like, there’s not much I can do other than said that Klipse being in prison might be the best thing for Drezz and Six. I’m sure they might get Six some help since he’s just a child, but for Drezz, he’s freed from Klipse’s grasp.
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sollucets · 1 year
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again, "graduation" [this is not the title] is not about thua or the world remembers. but they keep invading their way into my brainspace while im writing it
i'm cursed. i swear i'm cursed
i started musing about this in the tags and wrote. Too Many Damn Tags? like tumblr cut me off. i didn't even know tumblr could do that. so here they are out loud under the cut
#a kind commenter told me they'd want to see me do thua reconciliation scenes #and i didn't answer because i couldn't promise them i would #because i can't fuckin make up my mind about how id approach it #sigh. personally how i think it is #is that akk forgives thua basically straightaway because #1) he thinks he deserves it #2) they committed functionally the same crime so it would be hypocritical #and 3) he wants kan to be happy #so akk is like 'yes i was miserable and terrified and i have mental illness now' (like he didn't before) #but like. i always thought that would happen that's why i was so afraid to tell because i knew i'd deserve it \#2. 'the same crime' i mean literally that's what they did #(note: i rowan do not think this. akk was cult peer pressured into it and from that pov could've lost everything if he hadn't. thua... had other options) #i think the only part of the crime akk might actually be mad about is the journal stealing but that's because it really hurt aye #speaking of hurting aye: this is the only reason he's upset re: outing too #and so thua will get like. browbeat or guilted or whatever into apologizing to akk and akk will be like 'why someone had to do it' #and hell go 'i dont care but i want you to apologize to aye' #and that will not go nicely #because in the end aye cares about in this order 1. akk and 2. everything else #this is actually one of my favorite things about akkaye lmao. aye abandoning his morals #like. obviously he doesn't become Evil and he still wants akk to admit to it and all that i'm being a little dramatic #but..... if it comes down to it. in the moment. he'll pick akk every time because he loves him#and maybe he'll feel bad about it but he still Will #(this is also true of akk --> aye as far as rulebreaking and whatnot go) #so a thua -> aye apology... the thing is that i don't think thua feels guilty about anything short of the outing part and even then... #like. i think it's a bit. 'how do you like it' #aye outed thua to his mom for better or for worse. aye hid akk's secrets from thua. aye encouraged him to speak up and then Didn't
#so..... i don't know that thua would feel. 100% sorry #maybe that he hurt him. like on a personal level. they were friends #but without the context of 'aye being desperately in love and being the whole reason akk stopped and still trying to get akk to come clean'#man idk
and as a result to me i think that conversation would become a fight
in 'choices', i had aye sort of. forgive but not forget for the sake of group cohesion, which i do think he'd do because he is a lonely boy and these are his only friends here and also For Akk's Sake.
i also did that because choices is a gentle and fluffyish fic about akk getting used to pda and, as you can see, if i got into it i'd lose my damn mind [gestures up the page]
and in the end, truly, the people who deserve thua and akk's apologies are the world remembers. they deserved better than that "phi welcome back :)" because who Wouldn't say that!! theyd just been approached by all the prefects at once and their two bullies like.... are you gonna be anything less than perfectly polite
i'm even more torn about how to hypothetically handle "akkthua apologize to the jums" because i have even less insight on how They would respond to it agh
AGH
ahem. i have strong feelings on episode 11 of the eclipse. i continue to do so. dont even get me started on chadok ill be here all fucking day
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willemdafazbear · 2 years
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aita but Tumblrified
normally this is something I should post on reddit but I don't actually want people to see this I just want to rant. so basically my friend group (in school) consists of 3 people (I'll call them: O [female], G [male], and L [female]) plus me (white female). We all have pretty much the same classes and I've known all of them since at least middle school. Out of those 3, two of them are biracial (half black half white), and O is white. One day, either G thought it would be really funny to start telling people I said the n-word. Honestly, it was pretty funny for about a week of him telling our close friends that because they obviously knew it was a joke. L caught on and began telling people about it too. soon, they began telling not just our close friends, but classmates I haven't known for that long and random people they were friends with that I wasn't. I've never said the n word and I never will (not like that's some big accomplishment, its basic human decency). soon, the joke went much further than just "she said the n word." it became a whole joke between not just L and G, but also O that I am racist. like I said before, the joke was pretty funny at first. it escalated quickly, from them telling that to students in our classes that I have never met and haven't gotten a chance to make a first impression on yet, to telling teachers. L and G write the n word and other racial slurs for black people all over my papers and chemistry notes and act like I wrote them. sometimes when we do group projects, they sign my name as "[my name] the Racist." I've been cool with all of this for a while because obviously, L and G are black and they can say whatever slurs for black people they want. they have a right to reclaim that. it got out of hand once they wrote a poem about me though. it was called "[my name] Is Racist." basically the whole poem was about how much I supposedly hate black people. once again, had no issue with it! I didn't like it once they read it to our English teacher though. or when they told our yearbook teacher that im racist or played games of hangman on the whiteboard in front of the class where the answer was "[my name] IS RACIST." or when they told our chemistry teacher that im racist. or when they told our statistics teacher (who is the principal's wife) that im racist. and she did NOT find it funny at all. another thing they do is draw swatiskas on my paper. none of them are jewish. I've told them multiple times that that is NOT OKAY and they need to stop but they just keep doing it. they also tell people that I love hitler and that I hate jewish people. They think its hilarious and now everyone in my classes has heard the joke at some point. racist is basically my last name at this point. I don't know how to ask them to stop because its genuinely affecting my relationships with people and school. this has been going on for about 2 1/2 months now so I can't even imagine what will happen if it goes on through the whole year. tomorrow I am going to tell my statistics teacher in private that im not racist and im sorry for what they said, because that statistics class is a college credit that we take at the local community college and I don't want that to potentially ruin my chances od graduating with an associates degree.
I want to talk to my friends about it but I feel like they won't take it well because im supposed to be the friend that gets picked on all the time. you know how every friend group has the one they bully? im that friend and its okay honestly. another fun saying they came up with is "everything is [my name]'s fault" or "blame everything on [my name]." which hurts my feelings a little bit but whatever! its okay ill deal with it. it just makes me sad to see how nice they treat other people and how mean they can be to me. obviously they make fun of other people too but I've known these guys for so long and I would consider them to be the people I can trust more than anyone in this world except for my best friend (J, female). she doesn't do the same program we do so I only get to see her once a day. I tell her about all of this and she agrees that its gotten out of hand and its impacting my life in a negative way. I love her so much and she makes fun of me a little too, but mostly just about how she thinks the people I have crushes on are ugly or that she doesnt like some of my music. but she would never, EVER say things about me like this. J has a disability (she's deaf but I don't want to get into that), and she's made a joke calling me an ableist once or twice, and it was funny, but she would never tell random people or teachers/professors that I was ableist because she knows that could truly impact my life. I feel like im rambling. let me get back to the story sorry lol
anyways, I want to add one more thing. O doesnt know this, but im queer. G and L know. I haven't told O yet not because I think she's homophobic, but because she's not very good at keeping secrets and im afraid she might spill the beans. I am NOT publicly out. very few people that are in my life even know this about me (im sure everyone can probably tell lmao but I've never confirmed it). G and L are both straight. like very. they're very supporting of gay rights, which is why I felt like I could share this part of my life with them (I told them about a year ago or so). however, they went from last year being super supportive and encouraging me to go for girls I liked, to this year making a bunch of homophobic jokes about me. in front of others. they make jokes about how im going to hell, or that god hates me, or that I need to "repent" and "cleanse" myself from my "sins." I didn't care at first that much, it hurt a little but I knew it was all in good fun. but then they started making jokes about it around others and pretty much outing me, and I have to laugh it off and tell people theyre just kidding. but it hurts so bad that I want to cry because I hate lying to people and I'm a bad liar so im pretty sure they can tell that im queer. im afraid people will think im a lesbian which there isn't anything wrong with that at all, its just that im NOT a lesbian and im afraid no boy will ever approach me bc he will think im uninterested. which isn't true, I like men and women. theyre hurting my chances of ever getting a boyfriend and theyre risking me losing relationships with people or worse, getting hurt. which I don't think would happen at my school but I've heard how some people talk about the LGBT+ students in our grade and it scares me for what they might say about me. they also make jokes about my mom verbally abusing me or sending me to conversion camp or saying my mom hates me. I had a very difficult experience with my mom in middle school where I was outed and things haven't been the same since. my mom hates gay people, specifically gay women. she constantly belittles them and it makes me feel like shit. I told them this in confidentiality and I was hoping they would understand and let me confide in them bc ya know. we're friends. last year they were so understanding and let me talk about it but this year they've turned it all into one big joke and it makes me feel so awful like I genuinely feel so ill when they talk about it because getting outed was the worst experience of my life. I hate when they make jokes about me being a sinner or my mom because I love God so much and I want to be a good Christian but its a lot harder when you're LGBT+. I have a very tough time with religion and they make is so much harder on me even though I know theyre joking. but it reminds me how my mom actually would feel about me if she knew that me being queer wasn't just a phase and that I never "grew out of it" and that im still queer.
one more thing. this is kinda irrelevant but it still hurts my feelings. L and O tell everyone I have a UTI. which isn't even true! I've never had one ever but last year L came up with that joke. but it was just a joke between me and her. but this year she told O about the joke and now they tell everyone. they've actually stopped doing that for about two weeks now which im super happy about! but they told the guy I really liked and im not sure if he knew they were joking. I really liked him and I feel like that turned him away from me idk. they would tell strangers that I had a UTI too like they would tell random kids in our class whose names we didn't even know that I had a UTI and it hurt my feelings a lot. I feel like people think im dirty idk. I know a UTI doesnt mean youre dirty but I feel like many people believe in that.
basically what im trying to get at is, am the the asshole for wanting them to chill out? or should I just let them be? because I know its all in good fun and theyre just joking, but it hurts my feelings. should I ask them to stop, or should I just grow a backbone and joke along (im very sensitive so maybe im just making a big deal out of friendly behaviors. they don't know im very sensitive though because I make sure to not cry in front of people or let them know the jokes upset me.) if anyone actually takes any time to read all this and respond that would be dope! have a lovely day :D
love, willemdafazbear
(ps I didn't proofread this I just typed as I went along so sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes)
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I’m back?
damn, sometimes I do be forgetting about my diary and diary Tumblr. any who everything is still pretty much the same except for the fact that now I know why isael wasn’t texting me for months and that reason was that he had a girl friend which is now his wife cause they got married and are recently expecting a baby girl that should be born any week now, and I know what your thinking, I was thinking that too damn he finally settle down or so I think because he texted me like a month ago I wanna say like he literally unblocked me from Instagram send me a message saying heyy and then I guess he decided not to see me or whatever and ended up blocking me again or I really could've just been Hella tired that night and was seeing things, as for thomas things didn't end will we got in a fight he said we were NOT friends and then went and told sully “Who would even wanna be friends with her” like wtf anyways right now hes is currently in the army and will soon be graduating omg I also forgot to mention that I found out that either Thomas is actually gay/bisexual, or that he is just experimenting but either ways he has been with guys and i was honestly sick to my stomach not cause i'm against it but just the fact that i didn't know and he was coming to my house early early in the morning drunk kissing me  after knowing that about him who knows where he was at before coming to my house and doing what like just the thought that he could've been giving head not even 10 minutes before arriving at my house to kiss me that was mainly why i felt sick cause he wasn't protecting me from getting any type of sexual transmitted diseases. but that was months ago now I don’t care at all. and I don’t know what else I can write about at the moment
what to say what to say … I have no idea what will be out of my life like I know i still have a few years till I'm 30 but and others that are just around the corner and are really about to be 30 I don't see them with there life set as I wish i had mine already, my birthday is in 5 months and in 5 months ill be 25 meaning ill only have 5 more years till I'm 30 and yet here I am with no real job, living with my parents, somewhat still depending on them, no boyfriend, meaning to baby any time soon or marriage but like I mentioned I know some who are very close to being 30 and I don't see them anywhere in life, isael for instance I know for a fact that if he didn't get married or was expecting a child in his life he would've still been at his parent’s house but the only difference is that he at least has a job and makes very good money or at least I think he does to be able to afford all the things he does to his cars, another example would be Christian he is literally on year away from being 30 and he STILL lives with his parents even though he has a girlfriend of 7 years and makes somewhat good money but I really don't see him at this moment moving out of his parents place. but then again they are guys, I’m not a guy obviously so I don’t want to compare their situation with some cause anything is sorta easier when you’re a guy. I have BIG plans that I want for myself but in moments like these I feel like they won’t ever be more them just plans, dreams, and hopes, but nothing is ever real.
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newronantic · 3 years
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HAIKYUU!! FICS
so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great
MHA one is up!!
ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!
KageHina
plain as day - emleewrites
In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.
In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments
Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.
I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments
Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.
Chaotic Neutral - akaraka
Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?
1: Anonymous: see title
2: Anonymous: curry king
3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?
4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above
jellyfish - mysterytwin
At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.
TsukkiYama
Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta
A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.
The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw
"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.
No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”
Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.
IwaOi
Terrarium - sausaged
He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).
At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?
Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?
A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.
They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao
"You're in love with him."
Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.
"Yeah," he says instead.
He's never been good at lying, anyway.
bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody
Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.
my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn
Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.
Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.
(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)
KuroKen
Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki
Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.
the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot
Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.
Accidentally In Love - todxrxki
Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"
Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony
TW: major character death
Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives
even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot
Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.
you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot
Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.
teach me the way home - icespyders
“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”
Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.
in this universe - crossbelladonna
Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.
All this, and a glass of water.
Beginning’s End - todxrxki
Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.
All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki
“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”
“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”
“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.
BokuAka
just to miss the sun - rosevtea
Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.
Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn
After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.
bitter - silvercistern
He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.
Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.
And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.
In Another Life - LittleLuxray
TW: major character death
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
120% yes - pissedofsandwich
TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya
in reply to @bokkun_official 
Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!
Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays
It happens right after training camp.
Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.
But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.
daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar
Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.
SakuAtsu
The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)
Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”
(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)
A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol
In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?
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hanazuma-inactive · 3 years
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Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>
So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..
I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.
If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!
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in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader
pronouns: he/him
warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)
a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.
_____
katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.
"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."
hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol. 
"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying." 
"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."
the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down. 
after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance. 
"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now. 
"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."
the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?
seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it. 
the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you. 
"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-" 
it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened. 
the two of you have switched bodies.
you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy. 
there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv. 
life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top? 
physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan. 
you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.
later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world. 
"heyy katsuki!"
"hm? yah?" 
"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face
katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his. 
"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny." 
"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window." 
hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either. 
finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.
"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased 
"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"
"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator. 
"we have the entire night."
you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands. 
"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it." 
"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"
without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.
seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock. 
"what do good boys say katsuki~?" 
"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."
you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.
"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"
"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…" 
"that's a good boy…" 
after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time. 
during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back. 
you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.
"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face. 
"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain. 
"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life." 
regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you. 
without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure. 
"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back. 
incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands. 
katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you. 
840 notes · View notes
blessednereid · 3 years
Text
Pity the Living
Daniel Sharman x Reader Series
A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.
Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.
CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,
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Career Day
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Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.
You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.
Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.
Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.
"An actor."
"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"
"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."
"Why an actor?"
"Dunno. Just seems right."
You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."
"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."
"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."
"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"
"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.
"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."
"I DO NOT!"
"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.
"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.
"Shut up, Sharman."
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L/N Residence
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You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.
"Did you think about it?"
Still floating, you asked, "About what?"
"Acting."
You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"
"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.
You coughed. "You had it."
"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"
"Who's red carpet?"
"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."
"Why is that?" you asked.
"Because we're best friends."
"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"
He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"
"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"
"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.
"But that's impossible?"
"Why do you say that?"
You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."
He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.
"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."
You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"
He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"
You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.
He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"
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Announcement
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The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.
"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.
You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.
"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."
You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"
"Daniel, are you insane?"
He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."
You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."
"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"
"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."
You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"
"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."
"What do I get just for auditioning?"
"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."
"Fine."
"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."
"You're kidding?"
He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."
"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'
He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."
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Auditions
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You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.
"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.
You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.
"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"
You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."
"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.
You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.
"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.
"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.
You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"
The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.
You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.
"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."
You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."
"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."
"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."
"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.
"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"
He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."
"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.
"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.
"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.
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Headmasters Office
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A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.
When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"
Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.
"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."
A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"
"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"
"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.
"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.
The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."
You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.
"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"
"Uh, yes, please."
After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!
You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.
You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"
You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.
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First Rehearsal
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After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.
The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.
"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"
James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."
More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.
The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.
You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.
By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.
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The Talk
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"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."
"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.
"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."
Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."
"But- What about Uni?"
"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"
"Yes, so I could intern in London!"
"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.
"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"
Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"
"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"
You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.
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Confrontation
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"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.
You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"
"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"
"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."
"Why can't you stay for Uni?"
"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."
"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"
"Daniel, I don't need-"
"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"
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Opening Night
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Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.
You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.
You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.
Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.
Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.
Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.
Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "
You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."
"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"
"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.
"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.
A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.
"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.
"Thy lips are warm."
A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.
"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.
After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.
When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."
"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"
"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."
You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"
"No, I don't. Why?"
He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."
You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."
"It's right here," he smiled.
Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.
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The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party
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You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.
You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.
You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.
"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."
Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.
"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"
"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."
"No, Mom. No pictures!"
"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."
You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.
The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.
You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.
You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.
"Well, this is awkward."
A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.
"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"
"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."
"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"
"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."
"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."
"I wouldn't?"
"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."
"Haha!"
"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."
"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"
"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."
"Embarrassed to like me?"
"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."
"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"
"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."
"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."
You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."
Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.
"Where is everyone going?"
He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"
"But it's not over?"
"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"
You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.
"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.
"Well…" James answered.
Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"
"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.
"But I'm not going away for another month."
"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.
"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"
"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.
"Alright, fine!"
The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.
"This party is awesome!"
Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Airport
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.
You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.
"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.
He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."
"Impossible!"
He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.
You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.
He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.
"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.
"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."
He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."
"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."
"I promise."
And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.
It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.
Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.
But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.
But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.
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labarch · 3 years
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Attempt at a Witch Hat Atelier timeline
We are still missing a lot of backstory for our main cast, but I thought I’d try and write a timeline based on what we know so far, and explore where their storylines might intersect.
I am pulling these numbers out of my hat for convenience sake, but here are some approximate ages for the characters: at the start of the manga, let’s say Coco, Tetia and Agott are all 12, Riche is 11, and Qifrey and Olruggio are 28.
20-23 years ago: Olruggio leaves his birth town Godley and moves to the Great Hall, maybe as young as 5 years old.
While many witches are born in the Great Hall, Olruggio comes from a town called Godley in the North. Yet he doesn’t remember Utowin, who came from the same place. We know that young witches usually start their training between the age of 7 and 10, but since witch society is awfully elitist, Olruggio would have been sent there as soon as his talent for magic became apparent.
Being ripped from his home at an extremely young age could explain his fear of being unwanted and left behind: he overworks himself as a way to feel useful and validated, is defensive about his own feelings, and he gets agitated and sometimes aggressive whenever Qifrey hides things from him.
20 years ago: arrival of Qifrey at the Great Hall at age 8. Olruggio befriends him soon afterwards. The both of them start sneaking out at night to chase Brimhats.
8 year old Qifrey was one fierce little thing, you have to give him that. His abuse at the hands of the Brimhats was brutal enough to break a grown man, but he picks himself up and goes right after them like “Alright jerks, you’ve got some explaining to do and I want my eyeball back!”.
Also it cracks me up that Olruggio was carrying this massive book in their flashback. Gotta love that his reaction to Qifrey’s “Let’s go chase some terrorists!” was “Sure, let me just pack my homework =>”.
Finally, there might be a slightly more selfish motivation for Olruggio’s fast friendship and devotion to Qifrey. Olruggio’s self-esteem lies in his ability to help people, so he would naturally be drawn to someone helpless. It’s unclear how much of Qifrey’s memory was missing: apparently he didn’t know about birthdays. How many other basic concepts was he missing? Did he know how to read? Between that, his lack of knowledge about magic and his injury, he was probably completely dependent on Olruggio at the beginning. Given Olruggio’s wish that they go back to “the good old times” when they were always together, I am wondering whether some hidden part of him misses being essential to someone. It’s well-intentioned, but not entirely healthy, especially if he is using Qifrey as a coping mechanism for his own insecurities.
14 years ago: Olruggio and Qifrey make a pledge of (betrothal) friendship, exchange tassels and attempt the Librarian test at age 14. It is their last adventure together, but Qifrey will continue his investigations on his own, to Olruggio’s disappointment and betrayal. Qifrey starts wearing his half-tinted glasses.
In the pledge flashback, they are wearing their old tassels, but they have swapped them by the time they undertake the third test. Also, when he remembers that pledge, Olruggio says that Qifrey’s investigation “should have ended at the Tower of Books”. The tower is the last likely place where Qifrey could have found answers about his past and a non-forbidden way of getting his eye back. Olruggio probably made him promise that he would stop his search afterwards.
Beldaruit says that he thought Qifrey had given up on his search after the third test, but Olruggio tells a slightly different story. Apparently he thought Qifrey “finally stopped causing trouble” after taking in apprentices, which means he was still behaving suspiciously right up until he became a teacher. Alaira also comments on Qifrey’s interest in the Brimhats in the first volume, so clearly his investigations were common knowledge among his friends, even as an adult.
Olruggio’s anger whenever the Brimhats are mentioned would then be caused not just by his own fear of forbidden magic, but by the reminder that Qifrey broke his promise to him, and refused to leave his past behind. Naturally, Olruggio doesn’t know about Qifrey’s change in circumstances: he is no longer looking to retrieve what he lost, but trying to stop an impending threat.
Qifrey’s discoveries in the Tower of Books also seem to have renewed his disgust towards his own scar: he starts wearing glasses shortly afterwards, even though his eyesight hasn’t yet started deteriorating.
14-5 years ago: in that interval, Coco’s father dies of illness. Olruggio becomes more and more famous for his magical items, and is given the title “Shining Torch” / “Master of Lights”. His glowstone paths become widely popular, and are installed around the castle near Coco’s mom. Both Qifrey and Olruggio pass the fourth test and complete their training.
At this stage, I really doubt that Qifrey intended to become a teacher. Whatever information he found at the Tower of Books convinced him he had to stop the Brimhats’ plan. He was probably planning to complete his training and then go straight on to his quest, not really expecting to return alive.
There are also hints that this was a strained period for Qifrey and Olruggio: Olruggio mentions that he would like them to confide in each other “just like old times”, which implies that they grew more distant after the Librarian test. I’m suspecting that Qifrey was trying to slowly remove himself from Olruggio’s life, hoping Olruggio would be so famous and beloved by the time they graduated that he would forget about Qifrey and barely notice his disappearance. Qifrey’s self-esteem isn’t the best y’all.
5 years ago: Coco receives the magic picture book from Iguin at age 7 at the Silver Night Festival. The Brimhats stop showing signs of activity. Qifrey takes on his first apprentice (probably Tetia, age 7). He interrupts his investigation of the Brimhats and creates the atelier. Olruggio becomes his Watchful Eye.
We don’t know exactly how old Coco was when she got her book, but her tiny chubby face makes me think she was 6-7. Alaira also tells us in the first volume that the incident with Coco’s mother is the first sign of Brimhat activity in five years. I am thinking that after Iguin gave away the book, he instructed the other Brimhats to keep a low profile until his scheme could hatch.
I also wonder whether Coco getting her book might coincide with Qifrey becoming a teacher and creating his atelier. Given that Qifrey is probably tied to Iguin’s schemes, how coincidental is it that Qifrey wandered into Coco’s village and set her fate in motion? Perhaps Iguin contrived for them to live in the same area so that they would meet eventually. Either he somehow influenced Qifrey’s choice of location for his atelier, or he selected Coco as his “child of hope” because of her relative proximity as well as her love for magic.    
7 years old is when we could expect Tetia to have passed the first test. For now we know little about her backstory, but we can guess a few things: she is enthusiastic and ambitious, but gets easily side-tracked by pet projects and struggles to stick to the curriculum. She craves positive feedback and is worried her spells and interests will be condemned as frivolous. It makes me think that she passed her first test early, but was then mistreated by her first teachers for being too childish.
We’ve seen that Qifrey has a compulsive tendency to adopt children in distress. It would fit his character if he became a teacher on impulse. Maybe he had to pass the fifth test in a rush to be allowed to keep Tetia by his side. This also brought Olruggio back into his life, as he was the only one willing to follow him away from the atelier as Watchful Eye.
The complicity between Tetia and Qifrey, and Tetia taking on the role of a big sister for both Riche and Coco, also make me think she was Qifrey’s first apprentice. Tetia is often shown teasing Qifrey, quoting both Qifrey and Olruggio, and imitating Qifrey’s teaching style: I can totally see them as a little family of three at some point in the past.  
4 years ago: Riche starts training under her brother’s master, a creepy asshole, at age 7.
We actually have a clear timestamp for that one in chapter 25, woohoo! Riche’s old teacher can eat a brick.
3-2 years ago: Qifrey and Olruggio learn about Riche’s mistreatment in her old atelier and promptly adopt her. Beldaruit takes on Ririfin as an apprentice. Qifrey’s eyesight starts deteriorating. He adds the light protection glyph to his glasses.
Before that time, Qifrey might have intended to put his quest on hold until after Tetia’s graduation, but now his impending blindness puts him on a time limit. He can’t do a lot about it however, since the Brimhats have been keeping a low profile for years and are not leaving him any clue.
It’s unclear how long Riche stayed at her old atelier, and whether she joined Qifrey before or after Agott. I’m hoping she made it out as soon as possible.
2 years ago: Agott passes the first test at age 10. She gets accused of stealing someone else’s spell, is rejected from her prestigious family’s apprenticeship, and joins Qifrey’s atelier.
Agott has been treated harshly by her family for not being enough of a genius. She mentions passing the first test at 10, the upper end of the normal age range. She was probably given a hard time for starting her apprenticeship so “late”, which explains why she is now adamant about passing the other tests as quickly as possible.
I wonder whether she felt ambivalent about joining Qifrey’s atelier at first. On the one hand, Qifrey was taught by the Sage of Education himself and is clearly very powerful. On the other hand, he has only a couple students and lives in a weird little school in the middle of nowhere, a big fall from grace compared to her prestigious upbringing. I wonder whether Qifrey went to find her after he heard she was the object of nasty rumours (he knows a thing or two about those), and Agott didn’t feel like she had other options.
0 year ago: Coco and Qifrey meet. Iguin goes “F***ing finally, I thought I’d have to watch that humdrum one-eyed twink bake potatoes for another five years. It’s dragon-slaying time now baby!!!”  
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honeypiehotchner · 3 years
Text
winter love (all i want for Christmas is you) -- Hotch x Fem!Reader
Hi hi hi!! I have literally been writing this on and off since September, and now I finally get to share it!! A few quick things: this fic has very much Hallmark vibes but does have a good dose of angst too; for the sake of this fic, Aaron was born and raised in Virginia; and Jack was never born (sorry buddy!).
I listened to Michael Bublé’s songs “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and “Cold December Night” a lot while writing this, so feel free to play those while you read! xx.
(The gif is from google because once again, my gif search is broken on here because apparently this post is too long?? Rip me)
Summary: You’ve returned back to your hometown after leaving to get your education, but you didn’t expect to run into your childhood best friend (and first love). 
Word count: 9.4k
HOTCH MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST
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If you told yourself a few months ago that you’d be moving back to Virginia, you would’ve scoffed and probably laughed -- loudly. Your mom, on the other hand, would’ve been elated, and swore she knew it.
Like she’s doing now.
“I’m just so excited to have you home again,” she gushes, helping you carry boxes of your clothes up to your old childhood room.
The room needs some work, like taking down all these embarrassing posters and changing the sheets to something not so cringe-worthy (thankfully, it’s a full-size bed instead of the old twin you grew up sleeping on). But it’ll be fine for the time being. It’s not like you’re going to find an apartment right before Christmas, or that you even want to. It’s been a while since you’ve spent a full Christmas season with your mom.
You’ve been studying out of state for the past six years, working to get your masters and doctorate degrees — which you’ve completed. But now you need a job and a new start, which is why you decided to come home.
You’ve missed Virginia a lot more than you’ll admit. It’s hard not to miss your hometown when you’re gone from it for so long.
“We need a Christmas tree,” you say, as you come back down the stairs. “Christmas is next week, how do you not have a tree up yet?”
“I wasn’t going to get one without you,” your mom says like the fact should’ve been obvious to you.
You laugh as you plop down next to her on the couch. “I know. We should go tomorrow.”
“Whenever you want to,” she smiles, squeezing your arm. “Have you been to your coffee shop yet?”
“My coffee shop?” You raise an eyebrow. “Since when has it been mine?”
“Since you practically lived there during high school,” your mom counters.
She has a point. “Well, no, I haven’t. I just got here.”
“You should go.”
You raise both eyebrows this time, turning your entire body to face her. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you trying to get me to go back there?”
“Why don’t you want to?”
You give her a look. “You know why.”
“I don’t.”
She does. She knows exactly what happened there.
“I’m not repeating it,” you mutter. “And I’ll be finding a new coffee shop, thank you very much.”
“Oh, you can’t let one bad experience stop you from going there!”
“So you do remember!”
“How could I forget? When you were a wreck for months after. I still never forgave him for that, you know.”
You shake your head, settling back against the couch pillows. “It’s been long enough now that I think forgiveness won’t hurt anyone.”
You say that, and yet you don’t want to step foot in that shop ever again.
+++
It was the summer before your junior year. Aaron was a rising senior, so there was the weight of it being his last year already hanging in the air. Especially when he was already looking at a pre-law track for college — meaning he’d be insanely busy after graduation with not much time for you.
Unfortunately, you didn’t realize that his being too busy for you would start before then.
You were a year younger — technically almost two, but the way your birthday fell, you were only one grade younger — but that didn’t stop Aaron from being your friend. At first you thought he had ill intentions (as most older boys in high school did), but he didn’t. He genuinely enjoyed your company, and you genuinely enjoyed his.
More than genuinely. You say now that you don’t believe in love at first sight, but you know that’s because it already happened for you, and you believe it to be a one-time deal.
That one time was when Aaron sat across from you at the lunch table.
You were alone and reading a book. You were a freshman then, and being an extra year younger didn’t exactly help in the whole making friends department. Especially when a lot of your peers were already aware of your age.
But Aaron wasn’t aware, nor did he even care.
He saw that you were alone, and reading, and he decided to sit with you. He wanted to read too, anyway, but he knew he didn’t always like being alone when he read. Something told him you were the same way.
He was correct.
It took almost the entire fall semester before either of you said one word to each other. Sometimes you’d be too engrossed in the book you were reading to even notice he’d sat down in front of you. And when you would finally notice, he would be the one with his nose too deep in the book to notice.
But eventually, you started sharing book recommendations.
Which eventually turned into helping each other with homework. You were always better at math and Spanish than he was (you were already in the sophomore levels of these classes as a freshman), but he was always good with history and English. He must’ve noticed you were in freshman English and history, but he never commented on it — at least not in a way that said he was bullying you.
That winter break was when you started going to the coffee shop together. It was within walking distance of the high school, so the two of you would go at the end of the day until your parents could pick you up. Sometimes your mom would drive him home, or vice versa.
And when Aaron got his license, he’d drive you both there and drop you off at home.
The two of you were inseparable. Almost literally.
Until Aaron met Haley.
Haley was in theatre. She was everything you weren’t. Aaron’s age, pretty, funny, outgoing, and worst of all: popular.
You watched your best friend fall in love.
And that wouldn’t have hurt as bad as it did if it wasn’t Haley he was falling for.
You kept your feelings for Aaron quiet, even to your mom — though you found out later that she always knew. You had almost thought he felt the same, or that he might be beginning to, and then suddenly he was talking about some girl named Haley.
Only she wasn’t just “some girl” to him, or even to you. Everyone knew Haley Brooks.
Slowly, your lunch table conversations were less about what the two of you were going to do the coming weekend, and more about Haley. How he was going to get her to notice him (join theatre, even though he never liked theatre before her). How he was going to ask her on a date (it wouldn’t be a date at first, just dinner after theatre rehearsal, that ended up being with the entire cast, but he sat next to her). How he was going to win her over (he brought flowers to the first performance and surprised her backstage). How he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend (that was the same night as the flowers, completely unplanned, but she said yes).
How he thought he might want to marry her one day.
The last hurt most of all. He confessed it to you one night out of the blue as he was driving you home after school. You knew you could handle him being in love with someone else. Some sick part of you knew — or hoped, rather — that the relationship wouldn’t last. What high school relationship lasts longer than a few months, anyway?
But when Aaron fell for Haley, he fell completely. And hard.
He started cancelling plans with you to spend time with Haley — before they were even dating. When they were dating, he stopped making plans with you altogether.
Then came the summer before his senior year.
It had been months since you saw him last. You had a new lunch period the second half of the year because one of your favorite teachers asked for help during the period, which meant you didn’t have lunch with Aaron — but you don’t even think he noticed.
June came and went. The two of you barely saw one another, barely talked when you did. But when you did, you clung to those moments like they were your only lifeline. In a way, they were.
July finally came and he actually made plans to see you. He said he wanted to get coffee again, catch up, hang out for a few hours, sit in silence, even, whatever you wanted. You were excited.
Some part of you thought that he had broken up with Haley — wishful thinking, but you were sixteen and in love, what else were you supposed to think?
But he hadn’t broken up with her. They were very much in love. You know. You witnessed it.
Apparently, Haley didn’t like the idea of Aaron getting coffee and lunch alone with a female friend. So, she took it upon herself to tag along.
You saw them sharing a kiss through the window, Aaron’s back facing you. When they pulled away, Haley’s eyes caught yours, but she said nothing to Aaron, just pulled him back in for another kiss.
You didn’t go into the shop that day. And you haven’t since.
The last time you saw Aaron was the day before he moved to college. He was stopping by to say goodbye to you.
You were reading a book in your room, and your eyes caught the movement on the driveway. You told your mom to say you weren’t home.
You watched him leave from your bedroom window, hands stuffed in his pockets.
+++
You heard that Aaron and Haley got married. Not because you wanted to hear, but because your mom told you. She probably meant well, but you drank an entire bottle of wine that night. You weren’t even 21 yet at the time.
Of course, it’s been years since then. You’re all fine now, and you’ve got the student loan debt to prove it.
But even with three degrees, job hunting can be a bitch. Especially this time of year.
You need coffee.
You blame the fact that this coffee shop is the best one around. And the fact that it’s Christmas season, meaning they have your favorite drink again.  
Dark chocolate peppermint mocha. It’s a godsend. And you haven’t had one in years.
Well, you have. But they haven’t been from here. They haven’t had this shop’s specially made peppermint whipped cream, or the peppermint stick that can be used to stir.
You hate how much you have to psych yourself up before you walk inside. You don’t even know where Aaron is these days or what he’s doing. He could be halfway across the country for all you know.
So, with that fact in mind, you walk inside. You embrace the familiar sight and smells, remembering what it felt like the last time you were here.
You move toward the counter, falling in the short line to the register. And your stomach flips when you see a familiar face standing in front of you.
Well, his back is facing you, so you don’t see his face, but you know it’s him. There’s this thing about first loves. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the last time you’ve seen them. You’ll always recognize everything about them. The back of their head, their shoulders, their hands, the way they walk.
Their voice. Even if it’s deeper than the last time you heard it.
Maybe he won’t recognize me.
But what you don’t know is that no amount of time could pass to make you unrecognizable to Aaron.
Or that he saw your reflection in the glass case next to him when you got in line, and he’s been internally trying to figure out what the hell to say to you since.
If it hadn’t been for his voice, you wouldn’t have recognized Aaron at all. A black coffee? That’s it?
The barista pours it and slides it over to him before he’s even done paying. He’s at a coffee shop -- this coffee shop, and he orders a black coffee?
Who is he?
You step up to the register as he steps away, and you swear you see him looking at you through the corner of your eyes. But you must be seeing things because why would he do that?
You focus on ordering -- a medium peppermint mocha, complete with the whipped cream and peppermint stick. After paying, you step to the side to wait for your coffee.
You nearly knock right into Aaron, but you stop yourself, well aware of his presence.
Another thing about first loves: you’re always painfully aware of their presence.
“Hi,” he says, awkward and fumbling even though it’s only one word. He’s wearing a stuffy suit and tie, which seems odd, but you’re positive that’s just normal lawyer attire. He probably lives in a suit these days. His hair is shorter than it used to be and he looks older, but so do you. Despite all of this, he’s still Aaron. He’s still the same Aaron Hotchner you fell in love with at sixteen.
“Hi,” you return the awkward smile, tugging on the strap of your purse. After a beat, you nod toward his drink. “Black coffee, huh?” You try to tease. “Who hurt you?”
He laughs loudly then, shoulders and head shaking. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Hotchner,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself.
The conversation dies for a moment, so you busy yourself by looking at the different cakes and pastries in the glass case. You probably should’ve gotten one, but maybe another time.
Another time. Fifteen minutes ago you wouldn’t be caught dead in this shop and now you’re already thinking about another time.
“Are you busy?” Aaron suddenly asks, prompting you to look at him with furrowed brows. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“Not at all,” you smile gently, knowing you might regret this later. But it’s been over a decade since you’ve seen him last. One coffee won’t hurt.
And I’m over him, you remind yourself, no matter how untrue it might be.
Once you have your peppermint mocha -- finally, you think, it’s been too long -- you walk with Aaron to find a table. A lot has changed about this shop, but one thing that hasn’t (because there isn’t much that can be changed) is the seating.
Aaron leads you to your old table. The table the two of you practically lived at.
It makes your heart warm and ache all at once. The drink you decided to order isn’t helping matters either.
“So…” You pause, shifting in your seat. “What are you up to these days?”
“You stole my question,” he jokes.
“Tough,” you smile into your drink. “I asked it first.”
He chuckles, but answers anyway. “I’m working for the BAU now.”
“The B-A-What?”
“The-- FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.”
Your eyes widen. “Did you… Did you really just say you’re working for the FBI?”
“I think so,” he says. “I’m the unit chief.”
“You’re the-- Okay. So, you don’t work for the...the BAU, they work for you.”
“We’re a team,” he offers.
“Said every boss ever,” you quip, taking a long drink of your mocha. You take the peppermint stick in between your fingers and stir, eyebrows furrowing down at the swirl of coffee and whipped cream. “So...what do you do exactly?”
He opens his mouth to answer, then stops, hesitating. “Do you really want to know?”
You give him a look. “Of course I do.”
“It’s not great.”
“Aaron, just tell me, or I’ll start reciting my dissertation word for word.” Your statement stuns him to silence, so badly that you almost laugh. “That’s boring. Working for the FBI can’t possibly be boring.”
“Oh, it’s never boring, that’s for sure,” he mutters. “We profile serial killers.”
“You what?”
He laughs. “We look at their behaviors and crimes and build a profile, what they might look like, their age, that stuff.”
“Intriguing.”
“I can’t believe you’re interested.”
“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be,” you counter. “You know I thrive off this stuff.”
“I remember,” he says quietly.
And just like that, you remember, too.
It’s so easy to forget about all the hurt he caused, all the pain he left behind. Especially because you know he never intended to hurt you. He would never do that, not to you, not on purpose. You never told him how you felt. It’s not his fault he couldn’t read your mind.
“Well, you’ve got a doctorate,” he says, shifting the conversation. “What else are you up to?”
“How did you know it’s a doctorate?” You raise an eyebrow. “Are you profiling me? Did I use that correctly?”
“Yes,” he smiles. “And no, not intentionally. You said you’d recite your dissertation. Those are normally written to get doctorate degrees. You always wanted one, I assumed you met your goal.”
“You assume correct,” you nod. “I’m back to start job and apartment hunting, but after the new year. I wanted to spend some time with my mom.”
“How is she doing?”
“She’s good, she--” You pause, shaking your head with a laugh. “She actually brought you up yesterday.”
“Me?” Aaron looks genuinely shocked.
“Yeah, you,” you knock your foot against his leg without thinking, but you pay no mind, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to it. “She’s actually the one who put the bug in my ear to come here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I haven’t been back here since…”
It takes him a moment, but he nods slowly. “Right.”
“Yeah,” you draw your legs closer to you on instinct. “But that was a long time ago. How are you and Haley?”
You don’t expect the way his face falls. You glance down at his left hand. No ring.
“We got a divorce a few years ago, split up about a good year before that,” Aaron explains. “She’s good, last I heard. Remarried already.”
“Wow,” you murmur, not knowing what else to say. “What-- I mean, what happened?” When he hesitates, you backpedal. “Sorry, I shouldn’t even ask, it’s probably a sensitive question.”
“It’s okay,” Aaron chuckles. “I don’t mind talking about it with you.”
That sends a dangerous flutter through your stomach. “Okay. Well I’m all ears.”
“Oh, it’s not a long story, it was just my job,” he shrugs. “I took the unit chief position and she was happy at first. But then, there was a period of time where we had what felt like case after case after case.” He shakes his head. “I was barely home, but I was barely in one state for long, anyway. It was a stressful time. We were everywhere at once.”
“That does sound stressful,” you frown. “Has it slowed down now?”
“Kind of, it has its moments,” he admits. “But being gone so much, it took a toll on her. She wanted to start a family, but said she couldn’t do that if I was never there.”
“But I mean she had to have known how your schedule would be with the new job, right?”
“Yeah,” he says, then shrugs. “It’s been so long now that I stopped trying to understand her thought process.”
“I get that,” you say sincerely. You understand not wanting to waste energy on something like that anymore. Sometimes you just have to give it up and have peace with the fact that you’ll never understand.
“What about you?” He asks suddenly, catching you off guard. “Seeing anyone?” He adds it quietly, like he’s shy.
Aaron Hotchner. Shy. Around you.
“Oh,” you nearly laugh at the prospect. “No. No, I’m not. Do you really think I would be if I was moving back in with my mom?”
He laughs, bringing his coffee to his lips. “You have a point there.”
A comforting silence settles over the two of you after that.
You shouldn’t feel slightly giddy that his and Haley’s relationship didn’t work out in the end. You’re over him by now, anyway. But something about being right has you fighting a smile. You smother the urge, though, knowing he probably doesn’t want to hear anyone, let alone you, say, “I told you so.”
You do feel bad for him, genuinely. Divorce is never easy for anyone, and you hate he went through that. Especially like that. Haley knew his work schedule would change. Why would she act supportive if she knew this in advance? Just sits uneasy with you, that’s all.
Of course, you feel that overprotective-best-friend nature coming back to you.
“What plans do you have now that you’re back?” He asks, keeping the conversation up, but you can tell he’s earnest — which makes you smile.
“Nothing, really. My mom and I are getting a Christmas tree later, but that’s all I have on my schedule.” You pause, giving him another look. “We both know you were my only friend in high school. Who do you think I’m going to see while I’m here?”
“Hopefully a lot of me,” he replies easily, smiling around his coffee.
And for once, you don’t hesitate to reply. “I hope so, too, actually. I didn’t think you were still around here. And I really didn’t expect you to be working for the FBI.”
“This might be presumptuous of me, but what are you doing this weekend?” He asks, quickly adding on, “A good friend of mine is hosting a Christmas party for the team, and I’ve basically been threatened to bring a plus one.”
“Threatened, huh?” You raise an eyebrow.
He nods seriously. “They won’t let me inside without one.”
You gasp comically, keeping up the act. “Well you can’t miss the party!”
“I know,” he sighs, propping his head in his hand.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to come with,” you say, still deadly serious.
But Aaron’s lips split into a grin the same time yours does. “It’s this Saturday.”
“Lucky for you, I’m free.”
He doesn’t stop grinning. “I can pick you up, if you want.”
“Yeah, I’d love that,” you say. “I should probably give you my number, shouldn’t I?”
“I was going to ask,” he admits.
You roll your eyes playfully. “I figured.”
After exchanging numbers, the two of you return to your idle conversations. Only, they’re less idle than they ever have been before.
He vents about still not understanding how people can be capable of the things he sees. How he knows that everyone is capable of unspeakable things, but it’s how they do it that still makes him stumble sometimes. And you try to sympathize, though you know you can’t. But still you tell him not to try to understand.
“You’re a good man,” you say. “You’re not going to understand it because you’re not like them.”
“Thank you,” he whispers. “I know that, consciously. Sometimes it’s good to hear it from someone else.”
Then he tells you it’s your turn, and again, you don’t feel the need to hesitate.
You tell him how you weren’t planning on moving back here at all. But the job market where you were didn’t...fit you, for some reason. You never felt like you belonged, and so maybe that’s why you wanted to come back here.
Because even though you left this place heartbroken, you still felt like you belonged when you were here. You felt like you belonged when you were with him, but you don’t tell him that.
Something tells you he heard it anyway, though. Being a profiler and all. Which you still don’t quite understand, but you’re sure he’ll have plenty of time to tell you in the coming future.
+++
After an hour or two, you decide it’s time for you to head back home. Partly because you need to make some lunch for yourself, and partly because you’ve watched Aaron dismiss at least three phone calls in the last twenty minutes.
But he didn’t say a word each time, so you know he won’t tell you who it is or if he needs to go. It makes your heart warm at the thought that he wants to spend more time with you, but if it’s his job, then he needs to go.
He walks you to your car and you hug him around his neck, unashamedly taking a deep breath of his cologne when you stretch up to wrap your arms around him. He didn’t wear cologne back in high school. But this one smells good.
You mentally prepare yourself on the way home for the amount of questions your mom is no doubt going to ask.
You’re supposed to be going to pick out a tree with her today, which means you were supposed to be home a little earlier than this, which means your mom probably already knows what happened and you won’t even get a chance to explain yourself.
In the end, your prediction was correct.
“How was your peppermint mocha?” You glance over to the couch and find your mom sitting there, idly reading a book.
The question is as directly indirect as they come. You raise an eyebrow and kick the front door closed (yes, she asked before you even stepped foot inside the house). “It was good,” you reply, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders. “Why?”
“Oh, you enjoyed it for almost two hours, so I was just wondering.” Your mom fights back a grin, but she’s not doing a very good job.
You sigh. “Just go ahead and ask.”
She closes her book. “Alright, fine, I will. How is Aaron?”
There it is.
“He’s good,” you answer rather pointedly, making your way into the living room. “He’s working for the FBI now.”
“Oh, I knew that already.”
You plop down next to her on the couch. “Seriously?”
“Of course!” She cries, like it should be obvious. “Small talk happens when you see someone in the store.”
“Right,” you scoff. “Anyway, thanks for not telling me him and Haley divorced.”
She grimaces.
“Yeah, exactly,” you nod at her expression. “That’s how I felt. I bet it was just awesome of me to ask about how him and his ex-wife are doing.”
“I’m sorry,” your mom says. “It completely slipped my mind. It’s been so long since those two split.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”
“Because I didn’t want to bring him up,” she answers sincerely. “You seemed like you had really moved on. I figured it didn’t matter, and I didn’t want to make you start thinking about him again when you had finally gotten over it all.”
“Oh,” you murmur. “Well, thank you, then, but...still. I feel like an idiot.”
“Did he seem angry when you asked?”
“No, the opposite,” you sigh. “He explained what happened and I let him talk about it for a second, but he seems mostly moved on from it.”
“I don’t know how he can be,” your mom scoffs. “She’s already remarried, you know.”
“Yeah, he told me.”
Your mom shakes her head. “I should’ve shook some sense into that boy when he came to say goodbye that day.” Then she pauses, poking your leg. “And I should’ve made you say goodbye to him. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“I didn’t wanna talk to him,” you shrug. “We barely had all year, anyway. And one goodbye would not have stopped him from going to college and marrying Haley, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know.” She sighs. “It’s fun to think about, though.”
“Well stop thinking about it,” you mutter. “We are friends and he’s probably seeing someone by now. I don’t even know how long I’ll be here, so.”
Your mom raises her eyebrows. “I never said anything about what you guys are now.”
Damn. Caught. “I know, but I’m just...catching you before you do.”
“Mmm, more like catching yourself.”
“Shut up.”
She lightly hits you with a pillow. “Don’t say that to your mother,” she jokes. “Especially not when I’m right and you know it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Are you ready to pick out a tree?”
“Of course,” she replies. “Just let me find my shoes.”
While she’s getting ready -- because “finding her shoes” really means fixing her hair and makeup and changing outfits a couple times -- you get a text from Aaron.
Aaron: It was nice catching up with you today
You smile and type your reply. Ditto. We should do it again sometime.
He doesn’t reply, but you figure he’s busy at work, anyway. And you’ve got a tree to pick out and decorate, so you’re technically busy, too.
You try not to think too much about it.
+++
And truthfully, you don’t think much about it, until Aaron finally replies. It’s hours later when you’re decorating the freshly-cut Christmas tree in the living room, with Michael Bublé’s Christmas album playing through the stereo speakers. It’s just like when you were younger.
You check your phone and see that it’s Aaron texting you back, but you pocket it before reading the message. You’re busy.
Your mom notices the change on your face. “Everything alright?” She asks as she places a snowflake ornament on one of the smaller branches.
You nod without thinking, hating yourself for even feeling what you’re feeling right now. A glittery red ornament hangs from your index finger as you try to find the right branch to hang it on -- and while your mind wanders all over the place.
“Clearly not,” your mom replies. “But alright.” She turns and reaches into a different box, picking up one of the golden jingle bells that she always hides deep within the tree each year. When you were younger, she’d hide them without you seeing, and then on Christmas Eve you’d have to search the tree for them before you could open one present before going to sleep.
You snort a laugh, always loving her way of getting you to open up: sarcasm. “It’s just Aaron.”
“Aaron?”
“Texting me,” you explain, looking down at the glitter coating your fingertips from the ornaments.
“Aren’t you going to reply?” She asks, grabbing another jingle bell.
“Technically he’s the one replying from earlier today.”
“Okay…”
You sigh. Time to cave. “He invited me to a Christmas party this weekend.”
Your mom doesn’t even try to hide her excitement or her wide grin. “Really? That’s great!”
Is it? You want to ask, but you stop yourself. “Yeah,” you shrug. “I guess so. It’ll be nice to hang out with him more.” You pause, finally hanging the small glittery red ornament on the tree that you’ve been idly holding for the past two minutes. “Apparently a friend of his is hosting it and basically told him he wouldn’t be allowed inside without a plus one.” You chuckle quietly, knowing Aaron had to have rolled his eyes when his friend told him that.
“So it’s...a date, then?”
“What? No,” you shake your head. “No, no. Not a date. He didn’t phrase it that way.”
“Sweetheart, plus one implies date.”
“Who says?”
“Everyone!” Your mom laughs. “Bringing a plus one to a wedding is usually a casual date, if not bringing your significant other along.”
“This isn’t a wedding, it’s just a Christmas get together.”
“Same difference.”
“Well, I think you’re doing that thing again where you try to plant seeds in my brain for things that are unnecessary,” you raise an eyebrow at her when she avoids eye contact, so you know you’ve caught her red-handed. “All that aside,” you sigh. “I’m over him. It’s been so long. If something was going to happen, it would have already.”
“Whatever you say,” she shrugs indifferently, grabbing the final jingle bell to hide in the top of the tree. For a brief moment, you wish you hadn’t been watching where she hid them, so you could do the search on Christmas Eve one more time.
+++
You bump into Aaron one more time, two days later, at the same coffee shop.
“Back for more?” He teases as he slides into the seat across from you, another black coffee in his right hand.
You’re sitting at the table the two of you call home with yet another peppermint mocha sitting in front of you and your laptop. More job hunting is the task for today, even though you’re ready to give up and just pick it back up after the New Year. It’s not like your mom is making you pay rent, and you have enough in savings to help with groceries (without her knowledge, of course, because she refuses to let you pay for anything) and buy your own coffees. But, you decided to give it one last go today.
That is, until Aaron slid into the seat in front of you. Now, you close your laptop and place it back in your bag. “Just needed some fuel for more job hunting,” you grin. “What are you doing here?”
“I took off for lunch for once and thought I might find you here.”
“Oh?” You raise your eyebrows. “Were you seeking me out, Hotchner?”
“Maybe a little,” he admits with a shy smile. “Are you still good for tomorrow?”
“As long as you are,” you nod. “What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at five, if that’s good?”
“Perfect,” you smile. “Are you ready to introduce me to your friends?”
“Depends,” he exhales exasperatedly. “Are you ready to meet them?”
“They can’t be that bad.”
“They might be. If you aren’t used to them.” He pauses. “They don’t know you’re coming, by the way.”
“What?” You almost laugh. “Why not?”
“I told them I was bringing someone, but I didn’t feel like hearing it all week about who I was bringing.” He pauses again, like he’s holding something back, and then he lets it out. “They know all about you.”
You blink. “They do?”
“Yeah,” he smiles gently. “I talk about you all the time.”
“No,” you shake your head. “No you don’t. There’s no way.”
“You’ll believe it tomorrow,” he chuckles. “I’m sure they’ll try to embarrass me.”
“I-I mean...what do you even say about me?”
He shrugs. “That you were my best friend in high school and...that I missed you and wondered what you were up to these days, and how we used to hang out here.” He looks around the shop, then back to you and your bewildered expression. “What?” He laughs. “You didn’t talk to your friends about me?”
“No, I did,” you laugh quietly. But I said different things. And most of the time I was crying because I missed you, especially my first year of college when my roommate tried to get me to go on a double date with her boyfriend and his roommate, but I refused and had to confess that I wasn’t over you and that you broke my heart, and I was such a mess that she brought ice cream and chocolate back after their date.
But you don’t say any of that. Obviously.
“I just didn’t expect you to even...think about me, I guess,” you finally spit out, still shaking your head. “I mean...we haven’t talked since high school, I figured you’d forgotten or moved on, at least. Especially since you had Haley.”
Aaron’s expression softens and turns sad, quickly. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I didn’t know you thought any of that.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you wave his worry away. “It’s years ago. Water under the bridge.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. Then, he says, “Haley was jealous of you, you know.”
You immediately look up from your mocha, your eyes wide in shock. “She was what?”
“Oh yeah,” Aaron laughs. “Devastatingly jealous of you. She swore we were dating or that I was in love with you or something.”
Or something. “Wow,” you chuckle, trying to mask your hurt as much as possible. “Why did she even think that?”
You know why. You know exactly why. Because before her, you and Aaron were attached at the hip. You sat together during lunch, walked each other home, hung out at the coffee shop, went to school functions together (well, you’d actually go with a big group, but you two always ended up together anyway), and so on and so forth. Anyone would’ve been an idiot to not assume you two were dating.
“We were so close,” he shrugs. “She said she was so surprised when I asked her to be my girlfriend because she swore I was dating you. She actually asked me that, when I gave her the flowers. She said, “What about Y/N?” And I said, “Y/N? She’s just my best friend.” And she didn’t believe me.”
“That’s so crazy,” you say, but you’re really thinking back to that day you and Aaron had decided to meet up here and hang out after so long. When Haley crashed the hangout. When she locked eyes with you and smirked before pulling him back in for another kiss.
She was jealous. She was jealous and she knew exactly what she was doing that day.
Aaron’s phone starts ringing and he sighs heavily, pulling it out. He almost declines it, but then stops himself. “It’s the boss,” he says. “My boss. I’ve gotta take this. I’ll text you later?”
“Sure,” you smile, knowing he might forget or get too busy to think about it. But that’s okay. “Good luck with the phone call.”
“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I’ll need it.” And then he brings his phone up to his ear. “Agent Hotchner,” he says, and you hate that you find it so hot.
+++
You almost cancel with Aaron a dozen times before 2p.m.
You blame the conversation the two of you had yesterday. For some reason, the thought of Haley being jealous of you had never crossed your mind. Because to you, it was so obviously the other way around. Of course, you weren’t vocal about your jealousy, but you were certain she knew. Not that it was the other way around.
Old feelings have already resurfaced, which is bad enough, but the talk about Haley and about how Aaron’s friends know all about you made things worse. Especially the latter.
Why would he talk about you so much if the two of you hadn’t spoken in years? Not even years, but like an entire decade. Why would he still talk about you and think about you that much?
You have dwelled over those questions since he left the coffee shop yesterday.
But now, you have no idea what to wear, and Aaron will be here any minute. You’re assuming the attire is casual, not fancy, since it’s just a get together with his friends -- who all happen to be his team of agents. FBI agents. Because he’s just casually the Unit Chief of the BAU.
It still baffles you. He wanted to be a lawyer. Not in the FBI. God.
He’s still your Aaron. That’s what shocks you the most. He’s experienced law school, marriage, practicing law, working for the FBI, becoming a Unit Chief, divorce, and yet he’s still the Aaron Hotchner you were best friends with in high school.
You wonder if you’re still the girl he was best friends with in high school. Or if you’ve changed so drastically that he doesn’t see you that way anymore.
You take a deep breath, going back to digging through the many boxes of clothes that you have yet to unpack. You need a sweater or something. That’s safe enough, right? It’s too cold for a dress, and frankly, you’re not in the mood for wearing one, anyway.
Finally, you find the sweater you were looking for. You tug it over your head, figuring your jeans are fine enough. You’ll wear some low heels to make it look like you put in a little more effort.
Your quick thinking is to your benefit because the doorbell rings almost as soon as you’re done doing the clasp on your second heel.
But because your mom is quicker than you, she’s already opened the door and let Aaron in before you can make it downstairs. And by the time you are coming down the stairs, Aaron is sitting on the couch with your mom, making idle conversation.
“Hey,” you smile at him, resisting the urge to glare at your mom. “Ready?”
“If you are,” he nods, standing to his feet.
When he turns, you shoot your mom a look. “We’ll be back later.”
“You’re not in high school,” your mom laughs. “You two have fun for as long as you like.”
“I know,” you say. “But I also know you’ll wait up until I get back.”
“And you can’t stop me,” she replies pointedly.
Aaron laughs at the two of you, your banter just as he remembers from all those years ago. Neither of you have changed one bit.
After a final moment of bickering, you bid your mom goodbye and leave with Aaron.
In the car, you ask, “Have you told them about me coming yet?”
From the driver’s seat, he shakes his head. “No, so prepare yourself for a lot of questions.”
“I think you’re the one that’ll be in hot water, but alright,” you chuckle. “I can hear them now. ‘Why didn’t you tell us you were bringing her!’”
He laughs loudly. “That’s not a bad impression, actually.”
“Why, thank you,” you smirk. “It’s a hidden talent of mine.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mhm.”
The two of you share a grin as he keeps driving.
+++
After some time -- long enough that you were beginning to wonder where he’s taking you -- Aaron finally turns into a subdivision. But it’s still not what you were expecting.
You assumed FBI agents must make good money, but not this good. This is a mansion. It’s massive. There has to be at least six bedrooms in there, maybe more.
“Is your friend a millionaire or something?”
Aaron chuckles, “Maybe. Probably. Maybe more.”
“More?” Your eyes widen. “Wow.” And then Aaron pulls into the driveway. “Wow.”
He puts the car in park and says, “Try not to look too surprised. Dave won’t shut up about the house if you get him started.”
“What if I want to hear everything?” You ask, scrambling out of the car to look up at the house. “Jesus Christ.” Then you whip your head around to look at Aaron exasperatedly. “Does your house look like this?”
“No, no,” he shakes his head. “No. This is too big. Dave’s crazy for buying it.”
“He’s definitely insane,” you nod. “I mean, what do you even need a house this big for?”
Aaron shrugs. “Christmas parties, I guess.” He pauses, holding out his arm for you. “Ready to face the lions?”
You roll your eyes through a laugh, loosely holding onto his arm. “Quit being so dramatic. I bet it’ll be just fine.”
“Let’s hope so,” Aaron replies. Because truthfully, he is a little worried that they might scare you off. They have a habit of doing that.
The two of you walk up to the front door, and you try your best to act like you’ve been in the general vicinity of a house this big before. Dave must be a really good friend of Aaron’s, because instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell, Aaron twists the doorknob and walks right in with you on his arm.
“Dave’s making pasta,” Aaron whispers, smelling the air. He shuts the door gently, wanting to surprise the team as much as possible.
You sniff the air, too, smiling happily. “Smells really good. Is that carbonara?”
“Good nose,” a voice says from the kitchen.
“That’s Dave,” Aaron chuckles, walking you down the hall toward the smell.
The team’s eyes all widen dramatically and comically when Aaron Hotchner steps inside the kitchen with a woman on his arm.
“Well, hello,” one of them says, sliding off the stool at the counter to saunter over to you. He’s all suave and swagger.
“Derek Morgan, this is Y/N,” Aaron introduces you quickly, knowing the reaction your name will get.
“Hold up,” Derek pauses, glancing between you and Aaron. “Y/N? As in the Y/N?”
“I don’t know about being the Y/N, but that is my name,” you laugh. “Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Derek says, a hand over his heart to add to the sincerity. “Where have you been hiding all this time?”
“Getting a doctorate,” you shrug, only now realizing that your hand is still holding onto Aaron’s arm, but he doesn’t seem fazed by it either, so you don’t move.
“Oh, alright,” Derek chuckles. “Hey Reid, we’ve got another doctor here.”
The man in question, Reid, looks up from the book he was reading with furrowed eyebrows. “Hi.” He waves.
“Hey,” you wave back. “What’re you reading?”
“War and Peace. In Russian, though.”
“In-- Wow, okay.”
“He’s a genius,” Morgan explains.
“I see that,” you chuckle.
Aaron finishes the introductions for you. “That’s JJ, handles the press for us because none of us want to do it.”
“He’s not wrong,” JJ replies with a laugh. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“You too,” you smile.
“You met Reid, his first name’s Spencer,” Aaron supplies, and Reid is too far gone in the book again to notice. “This is Emily Prentiss.”
“And I have been dying to meet you,” Emily says. “You are exactly how he described.”
“In a good way, I hope?” You laugh nervously.
She nods. “Definitely.”
Aaron points to the other woman at the counter. She’s dressed in all sorts of crazy colors with glasses that match her outfit. And before he can introduce her, she says, “I’m Penelope Garcia, technology extraordinaire. I keep them out of trouble.”
“And we love you for it,” Derek adds.
“And this is Dave,” Aaron finishes.
“It is very nice to finally meet you,” Dave says, and actually shakes your hand. “Do you know how to make carbonara?”
“Yes, actually,” you say, earning a surprised look from Aaron. “I went through a phase when I was younger, wanting to make anything and everything that sounded good, so I’ve made this a few times. My mom loves it.”
Dave loves the sound of that. “Would you like to help me?”
You practically light up inside and out. “Seriously? I’d love to!”
“Oh, here we go,” Derek groans. “He’s roped her in.”
You ignore him, slipping away from Aaron to grab the other apron off the hook by the entrance to the kitchen. You slide your head through the loop and tie it at the back in a matter of seconds, too excited to contain it.
“I almost went to culinary school, you know,” you say to no one in particular, but Aaron is listening, and so is Dave.
“Why didn’t you?” Aaron asks.
You shrug. “Didn’t seem practical.” Which isn’t the real answer at all. The real answer is you got your heart broken and needed to do a complete 180 in life, so you did. Culinary school was out. Getting a doctorate was in. You turn on the water in the sink and begin washing your hands. “What do you need me to do?”
For the next hour, you help Dave make the carbonara, occasionally answering any questions Aaron’s friends have for you.
Aaron pours you a glass of wine and sits at the counter, watching you cook. You look more at peace than he’s seen you since a few days ago when he first bumped into you again.
You catch him looking at you more than a handful of times. It feels good. Spending the evening with his friends, his team, with him. You’ve missed spending time with him more than anything else.
Dave serves up the carbonara, telling you to sit down since you helped so much already. You don’t make him ask twice.
+++
After dinner, everyone moves into the living room, scattering on the various couches and chairs. Reid has finished reading War and Peace, so the book sits discarded on one of the coffee tables.
You take the spot on the couch next to Aaron, careful not to spill your wine. Penelope sits on the other side of you, with Derek on her other side, which all but forces you to move closer to Aaron, and something about the look on Penelope’s face tells you it was done on purpose.
You’re not exactly complaining, though. With a full stomach and a fresh glass of wine, Aaron’s presence is even warmer than before. You pay no mind when he shifts his left arm, stretching it over the back of the couch and allowing you to scoot closer, your legs pressed against each other’s.
The conversation continues, and somehow the subject of relationships is brought up.
“Yeah, why was I the only one asked to bring someone?” Aaron asks. “I’d like to see all of you find a last minute date.”
Another warm rush goes through your body at the word date. This is a date. Alright then.
“I think you did just fine,” Dave says, nodding to you. “Don’t you?”
You shrug, not sure of what to make of it. “I’m having fun, so I guess so.”
“See?” Dave gives Aaron a look. “You did fine.”
Aaron gives his friend a tired glare. “Only because she happened to be back from getting her degrees. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck.”
“Nah, man, you could’ve called Beth.”
You feel Aaron tense next to you, but you aren’t sure if he tensed up or if you did. Maybe both. Probably both. You weren’t aware there was someone else.
“Who’s Beth?” You ask as casually as possible, ignoring the heated glares Penelope, JJ, and Emily alike are sending Derek. Seriously, Derek would be dead three times over right now if looks could be deadly.
Aaron shrugs before answering you. “Her and I dated briefly last year.”
You nod slowly, trying not to seem hurt or upset or anything by this because it’s ridiculous of you to be fighting back tears, but you can’t help it.
It’s high school, goddamnit, it’s fucking high school all over again.
The topic of conversation shifts thanks to Reid being the endless supplier of random facts. One question about Russian from Emily and he’s taking over, washing the awkwardness away in two languages.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as well for you as it does for everyone else.
You set your wine glass down on the table and tell Penelope you’re going to use the bathroom. You have no clue where it is, but she doesn’t know that.
Aaron does. And Aaron hears the tone of voice you use.
He waits until you’re down the hall before he stands to follow you, foregoing any explanation to his friends. They already know what he’s doing.
Aaron’s suspicions are correct when he hears the front door close and sees your coat no longer hanging next to his on the hook by the door. He grabs his and only gets one arm through a sleeve before he’s opening the door, eyes searching the premises for you.
Thankfully, he finds you after two seconds, and his racing heart slows a little. You’re standing by the reindeer lights on Dave’s front lawn. Your coat is only hanging on your shoulders, something you’ve always done since high school when you were upset.
“It feels more like a blanket,” you had told him one day. “Blankets are more comforting than jackets.”
He doesn’t see the difference, but you do, and that was enough for him.
He has both arms through the sleeves by the time he’s next to you. He gently touches your arm to get your attention, adding a soft, “Hey,” for good measure.
You turn your head at the sound, having already known he was coming because you heard the front door open. In the back of your mind, you had wanted him to follow you out here, but now that he’s done it, you aren’t so sure this is what you wanted.
You wanted to ignore the feeling. Get it to disappear on its own. Survive the night, then never talk to him again. You were heartbroken, but it was better when you weren’t speaking to him. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron says softly. “Beth and I haven’t spoken since our last date a year ago. It was only three dates. We weren’t serious at all.” He pauses. “I have no idea why Derek said that. He doesn’t think before he speaks sometimes.”
You nod, not having it in you to laugh at Aaron’s small jab, even though he is entirely correct. Derek is a quick thinker with a sharp wit, but you can see how it might backfire sometimes. Like tonight.
You believe Aaron, you really do. But it’s so hard. “Did you love her?”
Aaron is stunned for a moment, but says, “No. I don’t think I did.”
“Okay.” You shake your head, looking down at the grass. “I’m just trying to figure out why Derek would’ve brought her up if...if you guys dated so briefly.”
Aaron sighs. “I don’t know.”
“And is this a date?” You blurt, finally finding the courage to get that one out. “Because if it is, I…I don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
You shake your head again, trying to find the right words, but they always seem out of reach. “Just...tell me this won’t be like high school.”
This time Aaron is too stunned to form a real answer. “What?”
“Please,” you sound like you’re about to cry and you feel so pathetic that you wish you had never agreed to come tonight. But you’re here anyway. “I was in love with you then, and I’m still in love with you now, but I can’t do that again. So if this is a just friends thing and always will be, I need you to tell me before I hurt myself all over again.”
Aaron can’t believe his ears. He swears he heard you wrong. He must have. “You were in love with me in high school, too?”
“Yes-- Wait, too? What do you mean too?” Now you’re looking at him, eyes wide in confusion, shock, every emotion possible. “Too?”
“I was in love with you, Y/N,” he chuckles, reaching for your hands. “I thought you just saw me as an older brother. That’s why I never...said anything.”
“What?” You breathe, letting him thread his fingers through yours. “Are you serious? You better not be pulling my leg, Hotchner. Don’t do that to me.” You tug on his hands for emphasis, giving him a stern look.
“I’m not joking,” he says, taking a step closer. “I wouldn’t joke about this.”
“Oh my god,” you say, disbelief a powerful thief of words. “I can’t believe… So you went after Haley because…”
“Because I heard from one of her friends that she had a crush on me,” he admits. “I did love her, but not as much as I loved you. Never as much as I loved you.”
You don’t know what else to do or say. He looks so beautiful in this light that it hurts, and now he’s saying words you never thought you’d ever hear.
“Do you forgive me?” He asks. “For breaking your heart?”
“Only if you forgive me for breaking yours,” you whisper.
He shakes his head. “I broke my own. I should’ve told you how I felt.” He pauses. “I even talked to you about Haley all the time. Is that why you didn’t say goodbye to me?”
You nod. “It sounds so stupid now, but I was so hurt.”
“I’m an idiot,” he laughs. “I’m the dumbest fool to ever walk the Earth.”
“We both are,” you correct him, taking a step closer. It’s cold out here, but he’s warm. He’s always been so warm. Like home.
And you-- you’ve always been who Aaron thinks of when he thinks about being happy. It’s always been you. A moment like this, and a thousand others. He wants them all. And to think, you do too.
His lips meet yours in a long-awaited kiss, cold noses bumping against one another, his warm hands holding your face, your chilled fingers finding their home on his neck, stealing his warmth.
From the window, the team watches, and Emily exchanges money with Derek.
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