#loki series makes me cry in a good way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avastrasposts · 8 months

Text

The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 27

First of all: look at this beautiful banner @i-own-loki made for my fic! It's amazing, I love it and she is my saviour since I cannot figure out Canva! I'm going to go back and update all the previous posts so this will now be the official fic banner.

Also, chapter 27! I've been looking forward to this one for a while and I hope you enjoy!

Series Master List

Chapter 28 - Warnings have their own post - Word count: 10k

Half the morning passes before you stir, only moving because Frankie slips away to the bathroom. When he comes back you stretch, yawning widely as he wraps around you, his hand running down your side.

“I woke up wondering if I’d dreamt that Will was back,” he mumbles, “I can’t believe you found him, couldn’t fucking believe my eyes last night.”

“Imagine my face when I saw him, they put a hood over my head and Will pulled it off, he’d recognized my voice and I was just dumbstruck, started crying straight away.”

“You’re in good company, I’ve never seen Benny that emotional before, except,” he hesitates “except with Hannah, at the end.”

“That was hard, telling Will about Hannah,” you sigh,” I wonder if Benny told him the whole story, all the details, or if maybe he wants to spare him that? I’m not sure I’d wanna know, it can’t be changed.”

“I’d wanna know,” Frankie says, shifting in bed so that he can look at you, “It would fuck me up, but I’d wanna know anyway.”

You shudder, shaking the thoughts off you, “I don’t wanna think about it, I’m happy Will is back, I wanna leave it at that.” You go to push yourself off the bed but Frankie grabs hold of you, his hand behind your neck, and pulls you down to his lips in a hard kiss. There’s an edge of desperation in the way he grips your neck and holds you close to his mouth while his tongue licks into you, all teeth and urgency.

“Yesterday, before you came back,” he says, pulling back a little so that he can look at you, his eyes almost black, “I imagined what I’d do to them if they got even close to doing what Myers did to Hannah. I’d wanna know every detail, because I would do a hundred times worse to them.” His tone is rigid, harsher than you’ve heard from him before, and the intensity behind his words makes you frightened, not for you, but for him.

“Don’t go down that route, Frankie, please,” you say, taking hold of his hand, “don’t even think about it, it’s not a good head space to be in.”

“I can’t help it, the thought of that happening to you…” he trails off, you feel his fingers flexing around the back of your neck, “I just wanna fucking make them-”

“Stop, Frankie,” you cut him off, “I don’t want you thinking about it, and if anything was to happen to me, I don’t want you doing anything,” you take his hand from behind your neck, putting the other one on his cheek. “If I go missing, come find me, please, tear the world apart if you have to, I’ll do the same for you. But don’t lose yourself to revenge, I don’t want that for you.” Frankie’s eyes soften at your words as you run your thumb over his cheek, “You’ll break my heart if you let hatred take over, I want you to be my sweet Frankie, even if I’m not here.”

“Please don’t talk about not being here,” he says, his voice thick, “that thought fucking kills me, that’s what scares me more than anything.”

“Being without you scares me the most too, Frankie, but promise you won’t wreck yourself trying to get revenge if something happens to me.”

He takes in your worried face, your eyes searching his for assurance. The very thought of someone hurting you, or worse, makes his heart stutter, his first instinct is to think of all the ways he can bring retribution. But your pleading eyes, your hand on his check as you beg him to promise you a different path, makes him squash it down, he can’t deny you anything, even this.

“I promise, cariño, I promise I won’t lose myself.” His kiss is gentle this time, his arms wrapping around you, as you cup his face. You let yourself stay wrapped up by him for a few, quiet minutes, breathing in his warm scent, his soft lips and hands on your skin.

“We should go downstairs and see the others,” he mumbles, still close to your lips, “see what Will has to say about the smugglers.”

You nod and pull away a little from him, taking his hand and tugging him off the bed. It’s a couple of quick showers for the both of you and then you go downstairs. Will and Benny are on the couch as you walk in, Pope making coffee in the kitchen.

“Morning, sleepy heads!” Benny greets you, he’s got a wide grin, looking happy and relaxed next to his brother.

“Morning,” you say as Will pushes off the couch and comes over for a hug.

“Did you sleep ok?” he asks, tilting your head up to check on the cut his men left on your cheek.

“Out like a light,” you say, and it was true, you hadn’t even had a nightmare. “You ok?” you ask in a lower voice and he catches your meaning, giving you a nod and a small crooked smile.

“I’m good, it’s surreal to suddenly have breakfast with you guys like nothing changed, and about Hannah…” he shakes his head a little, “I always hoped, a little at least, that she was still ok. But to know that she was alive until just a few months ago…that’s gonna take some time to process.” He shrugs and you nod, leaving it at that for now.

Will, Benny and Pope have obviously been talking before Frankie and you arrived and they fill you in on the details while you have breakfast.

“So, the thing with Conway yesterday,” Will says, “had been brewing for a while. The guy’s an asshole, he was only part of the crew because he had good connections when we first started out. He’s been pushing for us to start smuggling and trading drugs, opiates mainly, but I’ve said no to that from the beginning, not happening.”

“We heard that from Jodie Graham, she said you guys wouldn’t sell any to her,” you say, refilling your coffee mug.

“Jodie’s good to trade with but that was always our disagreement, but she was fine with it, didn’t push it.”

“So what’s the plan for your crew now?” Frankie’s looking over at Will, “We talked about approaching you guys and working together before but now,” he glances over at you, “I’m not gonna trust them, they attacked us and we’ve taken out a lot of your guys, there’s gonna be bad blood.”

“Yeah, the idea of you joining my crew died when you killed Conway’s brother in the warehouse,” Will says, shaking his head. “They had orders to scare you, ‘bit of intimidation, not kill you, but that obviously backfired.”

“Ok, so collaboration is out of the question,” Benny says, “then what the fuck do we do? Take them out?”

Will sighs and leans back against the counter, uncrossing his arms to rub one hand over his face. “I don’t think that’s gonna work, I mean, yeah we can take them out, we can handle them, no problem. But first off, I don’t wanna, not all of them are bad like Conway, and I’ve been working with some of them for years, I don’t wanna turn around and kill them, or give them a reason to kill me. But,” he shifts on his feet, crossing his arms again, “the guys who you’ve killed, they had family, and friends, in this QZ. And I’m not saying you did the wrong thing when you killed them, they attacked you,” Will’s holding up his hands as both Benny and Pope start to object. “But, as a result, the guys in the crew are out for your blood, and as they start spreading the word about who killed their friends and family, we’re toast, we can’t stay in this QZ.”

You breath out a low fuck….and sink your head into your hands. You’ve just settled in New York, you just fucking got here, and now you’re all stuck with either leaving, or watching you back at every step.

“Great, back into no man’s land,” Pope growls.

“We should’ve just come to you straight away, Will,” you say, looking over at the other three guys, “We were being fucking stupid.”

“I’ve been keeping a low profile, and my guys wouldn’t have trusted you, you’re new in the QZ, unknown, too risky. And,” Will shrugs, “what’s done is done, and the Conway situation would’ve blown up anyway.”

“So we need to leave again,” Frankie says, seemingly shaking himself out of inactivity, “when, how and where to? We need to figure out where the fuck we’re going this time.”

“I think I can answer the ‘how’,” Will says, “I talked to Jodie in private the last time I saw her. She was willing to let me sail with them up to Dartmouth, outside Providence. They trade up there. Their ship is big enough for the five of us, and them, so as long as we pay our way, they’ll take us.”

“That gets us a long way away from New York,” Pope says, “sounds like a good idea. And getting to Orchard Beach is no problem, we’ll just have to be extra cautious and avoid your guys, Will.”

“And then what?” you ask. “Is there a QZ in Providence?”

“Yeah, there is,” Will nodded, “Jodie says it’s small but decent, might be good to check out, if not, the Boston QZ isn’t much further north and that’s a big one.”

You look over at Frankie who nods at you, “I’m in, if we have to leave, that sounds like a solid idea.”

“I’m in too, and sailing sounds like a really nice way to travel,” you look back at Will, nodding your agreement.

“Alright, if everyone’s in, I’ll get in touch with Jodie, set it up. In the meantime, we need to lay low,” Will says and everyone agrees.

The next few days are spent collecting supplies and going over the resources you have while trying to stay out of sight. Frankie and Pope do a short trip outside the wall to clear a cache they’ve got stashed. You pace the apartment while they’re gone, glancing out through the window every time you hear a noise. When they get back you breathe a long sigh of relief, pulling Frankie in for a long hug. He tangles his fingers in your hair as he holds you close, letting his solid body under your arms sooth you.

You choose to leave just after the curfew comes into effect at six pm, jogging through the empty QZ until you get to a tunnel you rarely use because it’s broken up and slow going. Slipping into it, the five of you stop just inside the entrance, waiting for anyone who might’ve followed you. After fifteen minutes you continue on, nothing moves behind you. You get through to the other end without any issues and quickly make your way through the Bronx towards Orchard Beach. Nothing stirs in the night and it’s almost worse, you’re expecting something to happen, something to go wrong, but you arrive at the beach with plenty of time to spare.

You camp out on the side of the beach, waiting for Jodie and Damon to show up. You’re nervous while you wait, pacing back and forth until Frankie stops you by pulling you to the side and wrapping his arms around you. He doesn’t have to say anything, you just bury your face against his soft flannel shirt, and let him rub his hands up and down your back.

By the time the ship sails into the bay, a thin new moon has risen over Long Island and there’s a steady breeze. Jodie comes in with the small dinghy and gets you all out to the ship, it takes two trips to get you all and your bags onto the sailing vessel. Once you’ve climbed onboard and look back towards the shore, you feel your shoulders relax, leaving New York QZ and the exposed world outside the walls behind. Damon and Jodie get the sails up, helped by Pope, the only one of you with any kind of sailing experience, and the ship starts moving north. Damon sets a course that takes the ship out through the Long Island Sound and as it widens the shorelines on both sides disappear from view.

“I’ll take the first watch,” he says, “Jodie will take the second one so you’re all welcome to sleep in the bunks below deck, might be a bit cramped though but there’s plenty of room to sleep on deck.”

Benny, Will and Pope disappear beneath deck and you poke your head down too. There’s two bunk beds set up on either side of the narrow hull. At the aft of the ship there’s a small bedroom where Jodie and Damon sleep.

“I wouldn’t mind sleeping up on deck, what about you?” you ask Frankie, eyeing the one single bunk bed available.

“Sounds like a very nice idea,” he smiles, “Will snores.”

“I do not,” Will grumbles in reply from the top bunk he’s climbed into, already inside his sleeping bag.

Frankie chuckles and pulls you back up top. There’s plenty of room on deck and you roll out your sleeping mats, cushioning them with a few thick pillows Damon offers you, and zipping your sleeping bag together. The night air is cool but fresh and salty as Frankie pulls you close, your head on his arm as you both look up at the sky. The stars are impossibly bright out here on the water and in a low voice Frankie points out the different constellations, showing you the north star, a bright light in the sky.

“It’s less than one degree away from the north pole, so if you see it, you always know where north is.”

“Did you ever use it to navigate with?” you ask, tilting your head to get a better look at it.

“Several times, it’s a quick reference when you’re moving at night.”

“You’re such a boy scout, Francisco,” you tease him, “Big, scary, Delta Force boy scout.” You giggle as he growls into your ear, his fingers finding the soft skin at your waist and tickling you.

“If we were in a bed I’d show you how I got my knot tying merit badge,” he chuckles as you squirm under his fingers.

“Pretty sure we’ve already done that,” you smile as his hands return to their soft caresses over your skin.

“Pretty sure you really enjoyed it too,” Frankie smirks, the memory of several occasions when he’d used his one tie to restrain your hands making you squeeze your legs together. Something to remember for when you’re next in a safe location and on your own. Right now you’re getting sleepy and you turn, your back pressed up against his chest.

“Sleep well, hermosa, te amo.” Frankie nudges his nose against your neck as he gives you a soft kiss.

“I love you too, my sweet Frankie,” you mumble, his arm a warm weight over your body.

Damon and Jodie make sure the ship sails safely through the night and when the early morning sun wakes you, the ship has already passed New Haven. It’s another full day of sailing before you reach Dartmouth according to Damon and you’ve already agreed to spend a second night on the ship so that you can disembark the next morning in daylight. A whole day on a sailing ship turns into what feels like a well deserved holiday and you’re starting to think Jodie and Damon really have the best idea about how to live in the apocalypse.

“Do you ever see other ships out here?” You ask as Damon brings out the fishing rods after breakfast.

“Not much anymore,” he says, “in the beginning there were a lot of boats around, both sailing boats and motor ones, nowadays we only see sailing ships but even they are rare. Might get one passing on the horizon.”

“Do you ever approach them, see if anyone is alive?” you ask as he hands you one of the rods and a tub of homemade bait.

“Sometimes, depends on how badly we need supplies or gear. We follow them for a bit, see if anything stirs, most times the ships are empty or have infected on them. In the past year we’ve only come across two other ships with people on them. Trade with one of them, the other one wanted nothing to do with us.”

You cast out, following Damon’s instructions, the other guys are also casting out around the ship, Frankie’s next to you, he’s been listening to Damon speaking.

“Do you ever go ashore?” he asks, “For supplies?”

“No need any more, we trade for what we need most times, scavenge ships for the rest.”

“And eat a lot of fish,” Jodie sighs from the steering wheel, “I used to love eating fresh fish, now I’d be happy if I never ate fish again in my life.”

“I’ll see if I can catch a burger for you, Jodie,” Will jokes from the stern and everyone laughs, it’s a nice relaxed, holiday feeling on deck. Frankie insists on you wearing his cap as he sees you squinting at the sun, it smells like him and you give him a grateful kiss on the cheek. The sun has already given him a deeper tan and more freckles and he looks irresistible as he pulls off his t-shirt, he catches you staring and winks at you with a grin.

“You look like a snack, Frankie,” you whisper into his ear as you kiss his cheek again and he smiles, turning his head and kissing your lips.

“Never thought I’d be getting a tan in the apocalypse.”

Between the six of you fishing, you catch plenty, more than you need. But Damon has figured out how to extract salt from the ocean water, and shows you all how he preserves the fish by drying and salting it. He gives you plenty of what he’s already dried as extra rations, and prepares what you’ve caught while the best catch gets grilled straight away.

None of you have eaten fresh fish in years and it feels like a feast and even more like a holiday when Damon serves up what you’ve just caught. You stuff yourself, tipping back on the deck after lunch with your hands on your belly, groaning at how full you are. Frankie smiles down at you from above, his unruly curls waving in the breeze as his eyes crinkle at the corners with a smile, sunlight filtering in and out between the sails and lighting up his tan skin. You’re suddenly hit with a pang of nostalgia, a memory of your first date with him, lying back on his blanket in the park, your belly full of tacos and smiling up at this gorgeous man who’d just taken you up for your first helicopter ride.

“Do you remember when we had tacos in the park?” you ask and put your hand up to his curls, running your fingers through them.

“How could I forget,” he smiles, “our first date. I fell asleep on your chest and if you keep doing that I’m going to fall asleep again.”

You smile up at him and rake your nails across his scalp, always his favorite thing. He drops down and puts his arm over your waist, head on your chest just like he did in the park and it doesn’t take long before you can hear his soft snoring. You catch Will glancing over at the two of you with a smile but when he turns away it slips off his face, replaced with something more doleful. He turns and looks out over the empty ocean and you see his hand curl, white knuckled, around the railing and you know what he’s thinking about. You blink back sudden tears as you look up at the blue sky, dotted with little white tufts. You’d give anything to have Hannah safe on this ship with Will too.

By the time the sun slips under the western horizon, you’ve reached Dartmouth, the old town dark but still relatively unbroken by the looks of it. Damon takes the ship out further into Buzzards Bay and anchors up. You’re sleepy and relaxed after a day in the sun when you curl up next to Frankie on deck, falling asleep almost instantly as the ship gently sways on the waves.

The following morning the fog is thick over the bay, but Jodie and Damon have sailed here many times and they easily navigate to the shore, bringing you in at Nonquitt Beach outside Dartmouth. Jodie rows the dinghy in, bringing Pope, Frankie and you in last.

“Thanks for everything, Jodie,” Pope says, as he unloads the last of the bags. “Safe sailing, we’ll try to get word to you about where we end up.”

“Take care of yourselves now,” she gives you all a final wave before pushing off the shore again.

“Ok, back on dry land,” Benny says, looking over across the beach, towards the residential area behind it, “What does the map say, what route?”

“We head north up to route six, follow that to Taunton River, route six crosses it but if that bridge is out, there’s another one just to the north,” Pope says. “After that it’s a straight stretch into Providence.

Will looks over Pope’s shoulder and points at the neighborhood beyond the beach, “I suggest we try to get through this area and then go inland up to route six. Less houses when we’re away from the coast here.”

Pope nods in agreement and pockets the map while the rest of you ready your guns. You’ve got three rifles between you now, and you’ve each got a handgun. In silence you all start moving across the beach, Pope in the lead, Will bringing up the rear. It’s not fast going but the neighborhood is empty and quiet. Jodie and Damon had left you here because it was a regular spot for them to meet traders and the area was regularly cleared by people who moved through it and it shows. The buildings are empty, looted, and nothing stirs.

Finding route six is easy and then you turn west, following it to the river. The trek takes most of the day, a few detours necessary to avoid infected and by the time you see the river, it’s too late to go further, but at least your first day off the ship has been uneventful. Finding a safe looking building to stay in for the night, Pope, Will and Benny go through it, making sure it’s empty, before you make camp in the top apartment. You all divvy up the watches and despite being outside the wall in an unknown city, you sleep fairly well after your watch, and the night passes quietly. You wake up on your side with Frankie’s arm around your waist and his solid body pressed up against your back, by the sound of his heavy breathing, he’s still sound asleep. Desperate for a pee, you carefully move away from his arm and step into your boots. Will is on watch, the final one for the night, and he gives you a warm smile as you step out of the apartment after a quick bathroom visit. He’s standing at the top of the stairs and you lean against the window ledge next to him.

“All quiet?” you ask in a low voice, not wanting to wake the others still sleeping inside the apartment.

“All quiet,” he confirms with a nod, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, it felt pretty safe here, and having you four around helps,” you smile, “It’s really good having you back, Will,” you give his hand a quick squeeze and he smiles again.

“It’s good being back with you all too,” he says but then hesitates, falling silent for a minute while you watch his mind work, and you reflect over how Will was always more like Frankie with his words, never speaking just for the sake of speaking, they always consider what they want to say before they speak.

“It’s good being back with family,” he offers eventually, “and not just Benny. You, Frankie and Pope too. I had people I trusted to a certain degree in New York, mostly because I had to trust them. But they were never friends, never family. I’d forgotten what it feels like to be with family.” He looks over at you again, “I missed it more than I realized.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t find each other sooner. We heard rumors about a guy who sounded like you in the months after the outbreak, but we didn’t think it could be you because it was all the way up in New York.”

“Yeah, Benny told me about it, I don’t think I would’ve believed it myself.” He shoulders the rifle and comes to stand next to you, leaning back against the window ledge. “I...I feel guilty for not trying harder to get back to Hannah, to Arlington. Things might’ve been different if I had.”

“Or you could’ve died on the way there, there’s no point in thinking you could’ve changed anything. We did what we thought we could do.”

Will stays silent for a few minutes, you turn to glance out through the window, down at the street, it’s slowly getting lighter now. As you turn back you hear him exhale slowly.

“Benny told me about Lucía, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to Frankie about it yet,” Will says, his voice even lower, looking over at you. “I’m really sorry, Ben told me it got pretty bad.”

“It did, we were at Denny’s cabin after and he shut off, barely even spoke. I…I had moments when I wasn’t sure we’d make it, it would’ve been so easy to just stop trying to survive. Frankie didn’t seem to see a reason to live either, I had to keep him alive.”

“What got him out of it?”

“He got kinda jolted out of it when we got attacked on our way to the Franklin QZ, we were attacked by raiders, we got separated but Frankie killed them, burnt their place down and got us out. But what he had to do…to Lucía…” you trail off, exhaling slowly, “He’s…there’s something darker in him now, it changed him.”

“I think we’ve all changed, forced by circumstances,” Will says, keeping an eye on the open door to the apartment down the hall, “but that kind of trauma would break anyone, and Frankie had been through a lot even before it.” He looks over at you again, “He’d be a lot worse off if it wasn’t for you though, you know that right?” Will gently nudges your shoulder with his own, “You were good for him from the start, before the outbreak, and anyone can see now how you ground him, keep him centered.”

“I hope it’s enough,” you sigh. Frankie’s darker moments were less frequent after the years he’d spent getting help from Herb, but you’d seen them flare back up when things got heated. The anger was closer to the surface than ever, never directed at you, but always present if he perceived a threat to you, or the violent thoughts he fell into when he thought of revenge.

“Morning guys,” Pope comes out of the apartment, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, “all quiet?”

“Yeah, we’re just catching up,” Will says and you push off from the window ledge.

“Morning, Pope.”

“Morning, hermana,” he gives your shoulder a quick squeeze, “Please go wake Fish, he responds so much better to your morning kisses than mine.”

“Tonto del culo,” you smirk at him and he chuckles.

“He really is only teaching you the bad ones.”

You find Frankie still sound asleep and you almost don’t want to wake him, he looks peaceful and younger, splayed on his belly with his arm as a pillow, the other one thrown over where you’d slept. Benny has stirred across the room, sitting up and scratching his chest.

“Is it morning?” he asks, his voice drowsy.

“Yeah, the others are up, I’m just gonna wake Frankie,” you whisper and Benny nods, pushing back his sleeping bag. You sink down on your side, next to Frankie, and run your fingers through his curls, pressing your lips to his scruffy cheek. His nose twitches and a low rumble comes from his chest.

“Keep doing that, hermosa,” he mutters, his voice rough with sleep and you smile into his patchy beard, your nails scratching across his scalp.

“Time to wake up, love,” you whisper and he grumbles again, his arm coming up to wrap around your waist and pull you closer, his nose buried against the soft skin of your throat.

“Despiértate, el pececito,” Pope says, coming into the apartment again, grinning at Frankie’s grumbling.

“Don’t fucking call me that, I’m bigger and older than you,” he mutters, rolling over on his back as you sit up.

Coffee and breakfast is quickly done and then packed up before you all head down to the street again. Route six leads right up to the river’s edge, but that’s where it stops, the huge six lane bridge has been wiped out by the bombing after outbreak day. The twisted blue girders lay rusting in the water next to the USS Massachusetts.

“Alright, plan B,” Pope says, pointing north, “there’s another bridge about two miles upriver.”

“I wonder if anyone thought to make camp on the warship,” Benny says as you walk past it. Nothing stirs and it looks uninhabited but also like it would make a regular fortress with a few guards.

“Probably, but I prefer Jodie and Damon’s idea,” Frankie says, “be far out on the ocean, away from everything, that’s how I’d like to do it.”

“Wish I could sail,” he adds in a lower voice so that only you can hear, “then that’s what I’d do, take us out there, maybe find a small, uninhabited island down south for shelter during the winter.”

“I’d like that, Frankie,” you whisper back at him and he gives you a quick wink, before he turns forward again.

“ ‘Veterans’ Memorial Bridge’, how appropriate,” Benny says as you approach the smaller bridge, “But it doesn’t look too good.”

“Looks like it should hold though,” Pope says, “Let’s get a closer look.”

The bridge is low and flat and used to open in the middle to let ships through, the center section splitting in two parts and standing straight up. Most of the bridge is still in place and looks solid, but the part that opens hangs below the bridge, as if the two movable slabs have collapsed and sunk lower than their hinges should allow. You all walk up to the edge of the bridge and look out over the tilting road surface. The opposite side of the bridge sits lower than the eastern side, you have to jump across and down to get to it but it seems doable, even to you.

Benny takes a cautious step onto the part of the bridge that slopes downwards, it doesn’t move under him and he tests it by bouncing on his feets, as if he was on a trampoline, finally jumping up and slamming his boots down onto the surface. The bridge doesn’t budge and Benny looks up at the rest of you.

“Seems solid enough,” he says, bouncing a few more times.

“What’s our option, Pope?” Frankie asks, eyeing the gap at the end.

“Next bridge is twelve miles north of here,” Pope replies, “Doable, but it takes us a long way away from Providence.”

Will steps out on the bridge next to his brother and does a few test jumps, moving further out from the solid section.

“It’s not moving an inch, I say we go this way, the jump at the end is easy enough.”

“Ok,” Frankie agrees, “But let’s go slowly and carefully, I don’t want a fucking bridge collapsing under me.”

“Too many arepas, fishsticks,” Benny taunts and Frankie flips him off.

Slowly you all move down the sloping road surface, it remains solid, even when you get to the end of the section and look down at the jump.

“That side tilts a bit more, be careful when you jump, Benny,” Will says, eyeing his brother as he gets ready to jump.

“Nothing to it, Ironhead,” Benny says and takes a gigantic leap, overshooting the gap by several feet and slamming down onto the road surface with a grin.

“Beat that, bro!” he calls, flexing his arms, posing for imaginary cameras.

Will chuckles and backs up, “Watch me, Benny boy.” Will takes a running start and launches himself over the gap, landing a clear foot further than Benny who scowls.

“I didn’t have a running start, that doesn’t count.”

“Yeah, whatever, big bro beat ya, kid.” Will smirks and dodges Benny’s playful swipe at his head.

“I’ll jump first, you follow me, cariño, ok?” Frankie says, “I’ll catch you when you land.”

“Ok, but it’s a tiny jump, I’ll be fine, Frankie,” you smile and he gets ready to jump, he’s not going to take part in the Miller brother’s pissing contest. He takes a few steps back and clears the gap, landing just in front of Benny who whoops.

“Still in the lea - oh fuck!”

The bridge groans and drops, the section screeching further down towards the water, the angle suddenly sharp.

“Grab the railing!” Will yells, yanking Benny towards the side while Frankie scrambles to find purchase on something.

“Frankie!” you yell, you see his boots scraping across the asphalt as he slips down the road. “Will!” Pope shouts, “Grab Fish! Grab him!”

“Take my hand, Benny!” He grabs Benny’s hand in an armlock and Benny hooks his other arm around the railing, Will reaching out towards Frankie.

Your heart threatens to jump out of your chest as you watch Frankie scraping along the road, slipping further down as he tries to get to the railing and Will’s hand. You can hear him cursing as his boots slip and he skids down closer to the edge. The bridge groans again and Frankie stumbles, at the last second launching himself forward and grabbing hold of the last part of the railing, his boots dangling over the fifty feet drop.

“Pull me up!” he shouts, “Pull me the fuck up!”

“I got you,” Will calls, scrambling down the railing, using it as a ladder, “I got you!” He hangs on with one hand and reaches down to Frankie, grabbing hold of his wrist and pulling him up. Benny manages to hook his arm around Will’s waist and together they get Frankie high enough so that he can get his feet up on the railing too.

“Climb!” you yell, “You’ve got to get off the bridge!” You can hear it groaning under them. Benny is already scrambling up the railing, Will makes sure Frankie’s got a good grip and then they both start climbing, rushing as the bridge section slips lower. It’s hanging at almost ninety degrees now and the screech of the metal hinges makes you and Santi yell at them to climb faster.

Frankie heaves himself over the ledge, Will and Benny holding on to his arms, dragging him up. They scramble to their feet and run backwards as the section rips loose and crashes into the water below.

“Fuck…” you hear Benny gasp, Frankie’s bent double, his hands on his knees as he looks over to the other side where you and Pope are now stuck.

“How far did you say the next bridge was?” you ask Santi, your eyes still on Frankie.

“Twelve miles, four hour hike if we don’t run into trouble.” He gives the guys on the other side a wave, “You guys ok, no injuries?”

Frankie shakes his head and Benny gives a thumbs up, they’re both standing up now, a safe distance from the ledge.

“Pope!” Will calls from across the bridge, “what’s the name of the next bridge?”

Pope pulls out the map, “Berkley Bridge, twelve miles north,” he calls back, “Follow the one thirty eight, along the river. There’s a high school next to the bridge, on the west side.”

“Alright, we’ll meet you there,” Will calls back, “we’ll leave markers if we get there first.”

“See you there, stay safe!” Pope calls back, giving them a wave. Frankie’s eyes meet yours and despite the distance you can see the anxiety, you know you’ve got the same look.

“Pope!” he calls, and Pope cuts him off.

“I know, hermano, I’ll keep her safe, I’ll get her back to you, don’t worry about it.” You feel Santi put his hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze, pulling you back towards the eastern shore. You raise your hand to Frankie, and he does the same.

“Stay safe, Frankie, I love you.”

“Te amo, mi vida. Stay safe!”

Pope and you head back to the eastern shore, you feel your legs shaking, the adrenaline leaving your system and you stumble slightly. Pope reaches out and grabs your shoulder, holding you steady.

“Take it easy, hermana, you doing ok?”

“Just a bit shaky after all that,” you say, “that was way too fucking close.”

“Yeah, it was,” Santi gives you a squeeze and keeps walking, “thank fuck Will and Benny were there too.”

“I wish I could be as cool as you guys in situations like that, and then just brush it off and keep going.”

“We had years of training, remember? And it didn’t always do us a lot of good, trained to do some fucked up shit but no one taught us how to deal with the aftermath.” Pope pulls out the map and scans the street for any landmarks. “We basically just need to follow the river but it curves around a bit so I’m gonna try to not get us too lost.”

Off in the distance you hear the tell tale sound of infected and you both freeze in your tracks before Pope grabs your arm and pulls you into an alley. Skirting around, moving slowly and carefully, it’s slow going for the rest of the day. You end up spending an hour hiding inside a building while a horde of at least fifty infected shamble past on the street outside.

“It might’ve been the noise of the bridge falling that attracted them,” Pope says, peeking out through the window at the last infected stragglers.

“I hope there's no more heading this way,” you say, it’s already been three hours since you left the others at the bridge and you’ve still got a long way to go. At this pace you won’t get the next bridge before nightfall.

Together you carefully leave the building and move quickly away from the horde, checking every street corner and blind spot before you move on. You manage to move a few more miles, but then a chilling screech goes up close by and Pope pulls you down behind a car, crouching down. It’s in the nick of time, four runners stumble out of an alley across the street.

“Fuck, they’re everywhere today,” Pope breathes. Glancing behind you he motions you backwards, into a shop, “In here, we need to get off the street.”

It looks like a small mom and pop dry cleaning business inside, you see racks of empty coat hangers behind a counter as Pope scouts forwards and finds the door to the second floor. The door opens up with a small tap of his boot and you both make your way up the stairs slowly. Whoever ran this shop clearly lived on top of it, the stairs leading to a small landing with a closed front door. Pope pushes it open without resistance and quickly scans the small hallway that it opens to. He motions for you to close the door behind you and it shuts with a soft click. Nothing stirs and you quietly follow Pope towards what looks like the living room. You’ve both got your guns out, Pope in front as he steps through the doorway and sweeps the room. He spots the man a split second before the butt of a rifle comes down on the side of his head and he’s thrown to the floor. The crack to his skull disorientates him but he manages to hold on to his gun, rolling onto his back and aiming at the man now advancing on him, a shotgun raised and cocked. His head throbs and he blinks rapidly to clear the fog threatening to envelope him.

“Lower the gun or your girl gets hurt.” The growl comes from a second man, holding you firm, your arm twisted up behind your back and a large hunting knife pressed against your throat. He’d grabbed you as Pope stumbled to the ground, twisting the gun out of your hand as he yanked you into the room and bent your arm painfully up behind your back. You can feel the cold blade press into your throat, just shy of nicking your skin.

You see Pope quickly scan the situation, the determination in the two men, the knife against your throat, and he drops his gun, sliding it across the floor..

“Check him for any other weapons and tie him up,” your captor orders the man with the shotgun. “On your belly, hands behind your back,” he tells Pope. You see the anger in Santi’s eyes as he rolls over, gritting his teeth. The man holding you doesn’t relent his grip, your shoulder is screaming, another half an inch and he’ll dislocate it.

“Please, my shoulder,” you whimper, “you’re breaking it.”

“Don’t worry, darlin´, as soon as he’s secured I’ll loosen my grip.” He’s still got the blade tight against your throat, forcing your head back, his voice is close to your ear and the deep drawl of his rough voice makes your skin crawl.

The man with the shotgun quickly secures Pope’s hands with a cable tie, patting him down and stepping back.

“He’s clear, Joel, now what?”

He looks over at the man holding you and your brain goes into overdrive, putting the face of the man in front of you, older now, more worn, together with the deep Texan drawl of the man behind you.

“Miller!” you gasp, your throat scraping against the knife as the man’s eyes snap to yours. “You’re Tommy Miller! We met, fourth of July, at Denny’s cabin.” You feel the man behind you tighten his grip on your arm, bending it just a little bit further back and you sob, “You’re Will and Benny’s cousins!”

“You’re Frankie’s girl!” Tommy blurts out, his eyes suddenly wide with recognition, “And you,” he looks at Pope, still belly down on the floor, “you’re one of the Delta Force guys.”

“Yeah, I’m Pope, get these fucking things off me, man,” he spits. Tommy takes a step forward but Joel barks.

“Tommy, wait! What the fuck are you doing, we can’t trust them!”

“C’mon, Joel, we know them,” Tommy says but he stops in his tracks.

“Yeah, we knew them, for a weekend, six fucking years ago!” Joel snaps back, Now the-”

“We’re with Will and Benny,” you interrupt, moving your head back as much as you can from the sharp blade. “We got separated this morning, they’re on the other side of the river, we’re trying to get to the next bridge to meet them.”

“Will and Benny are alive?” Tommy’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and he shoots Joel a hopeful look before he quickly schools his face back into neutrality.

“How do we know you’re not just lying? Who else is with you?” Joel growls from behind you.

“Why the fuck would we lie about that?” Pope growls right back at him from the floor, “We’ve been with Benny since Arlington, at the beginning, and we just found Will in New York about a week ago.”

“Frankie’s with us,” you say, “It’s just us, Frankie, Will and Benny.”

“Joel…” Tommy says, “We can’t walk away from this, we gotta see if they’re telling the truth:”

Joel remains silent behind you, you can see Tommy’s eyes on him but his grip on your arm is still firm. It’s like the two brother’s are having a silent conversation, deciding your fate as your shoulder screams in protest.

“Fine,” Joel finally spits, “but if they fuck us, it’s on you, Tommy!” He removes the knife from your throat and releases your arms. You collapse forward, stumbling away from him with your arm cradled to your chest. Tommy kneels next to Pope and cuts his ties and Pope gets to his feet with a grumbled thanks.

“Lead the way then, you two in front,” Joel says as you glance back at him. He’s changed more than Tommy, a bit more gray around his temples and on his jaw, but it’s his face, the expression in his eyes that’s made him almost unrecognizable. The Joel you knew for a long weekend six years ago had a friendly, warm face. You still remember his belly laughs when his daughter and Lucía brought him down with tickles, a friendly giant who didn’t even protest when Lucía lay flat across his legs with Sarah over his chest. The man scowling at you now looks dangerous and feral, angry lines carved into his face and a hard set jaw.

“Sure, I’ll take the lead,” Pope says, accepting his gun back from Tommy, much to Joel’s dissatisfaction. “Let me just check her shoulder first, you twisted it pretty hard by the looks of it.” The sharp tone in his voice isn’t lost on Joel and he only answers with another low growl.

Pope gently prods your shoulder and you wince under his touch. “Feels like the muscle has been torn, like a sprain,” he says, “I’ll make you a sling when we get to the others, keep your hand hooked into your jacket for now.” He briefly cups your cheek with his hand, “You ok, hermana?” he asks in a low voice and you’re reminded of how similar his eyes are to Frankie’s when they share the same look of concern.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you say, giving him a small smile and he smiles back.

“Ok, we’ve got about two hours I think, to the bridge,” he says, looking over at Joel who gives a curt nod. “We good to go?”

“Yeah, take the lead,” Joel says and motions to the door.

Pope quickly finds the back door of the shop, scanning the narrow alley before stepping out. You stay behind him, then Tommy, with Joel covering the rear. You move as fast as possible through the streets, eventually coming out into the countryside and cutting across fields. Twice you have to hastily hide from groups of infected, still moving south towards the broken bridge but after the second group has passed you see no more. By the time you see the river again the sun has just sunk below the horizon, it’s taken you almost the whole day to cover the twelve miles and you’re exhausted. As the Berkley Bridge finally comes into view you’re dead on your feet, hungry and thirsty and your shoulder aches.

“Hang in there,” Pope says to you in a low voice, dropping back and giving your uninjured shoulder a squeeze, “the high school is just on the other side of the bridge.”

“I can’t wait to just lie down and sleep,” you reply, “I really hope the others got there ok.”

Pope nods in response and steps forward again, taking the lead as you all step onto the bridge. It’s in one piece and you breathe a sigh of relief when you’re across it. It doesn’t take long to reach the high school and Pope quickly finds a marker carved into the gate post.

“Back door,” he says and leads you around the building. It’s fully dark now and it’s slow going, but you finally see a half open door to a smaller section of the school and as you approach you hear the sound of a weapon cocking.

“Stop, identify yourself!” you hear Frankie’s low voice, stern and commanding, he’s expecting two people, not four, and he’s raised the rifle, aiming at you through the darkness.

“Catfish,” Pope calls, “stand down, it’s us.”

You see Frankie lower his rifle a little bit as the four of you come out of the gloom, his finger is still near the trigger and he doesn’t put the safety on.

“Who’s with you?” he asks, his eyes landing on Joel and Tommy behind you.

“Joel and Tommy Miller, Ben and Will’s cousins,” Pope replies and you see recognition flash across Frankie’s face before his eyes widen. .

“Holy shit, what are the odds of that?”

“Pretty high I’d say,” Tommy replies, stepping forward and extending his hand, “Good to see you again, man.” Frankie shakes his hand and then Joel, who, a bit more reluctantly, grabs Frankie’s hand as he extends it.

“Come inside, and we’ll bar this door for the night,” Frankie says, stepping to the side and motioning the men towards the door before he turns to you. His eyebrows knit together as he sees your arm, still hooked into the opening of your jacket to support your shoulder.

“You’re hurt, what happened?” He shoulders the rifle and steps forward as gently reaches for your wrist.

“It’s my shoulder, Pope says the muscle is torn a bit. He’s gonna make me a sling.”

“How did it happen?” he asks, moving his hands up to your shoulder, his eyes searching yours for any discomfort.

“I’ll tell you later, I just wanna get inside and sit down, I’m exhausted, Frankie.”

“Of course, c’mere, I’ve got you,” he leads you inside and helps you off with your pack as Pope and Tommy shut the door and slide a heavy iron girder in place.

“We’re just a bit further in, we found a room with shuttered windows so we can have some light.” Frankie leads you all down a hallway and turns right, pushing open a door he steps into a classroom. The desks have been pushed up along the walls and in the middle Will’s got a couple of camper stoves set up, the smell of food making your stomach growl.

“Look who we found,” Pope grins as he waves Tommy and Joel in through the door. You can’t help but smile as you see Will and Benny look up, confusion on their faces at first and then, almost simultaneously, shift into huge smiles as they recognise their cousins.

“Holy shit, what the actual fuck?!” Benny whoops and jumps to his feet, grabbing Joel into a bear hug, “Where the fuck did you come from?!” he says as he tries to pick Joel up off the floor under loud protests.

“Put me the fuck down, Benny,” he laughs, slapping him on the back. Will and Tommy hug, big grins on both men and then Benny pulls Tommy into another bear hug, laughing as Will embraces Joel. It’s good to see the tension melt away from Tommy and especially Joel. He’d been guarded the whole way, not quite trusting that Pope and you were telling the truth. But now, seeing the four Miller cousins hug it out with big smiles, even Joel looks less intimidating.

Frankie gently takes your uninjured hand and leads you over to where his sleeping bag is rolled out, helping you sit down. You sink down gratefully and lean back against the wall, finally relaxing.

“Let me get your boots off,” he says in a low voice, the Miller boys still catching up and laughing behind him. You nod and rest your head against the wall, closing your eyes. Your shoulder is throbbing, you’re going to have to dip into your small supply of expired painkillers soon. Frankie pulls your boots off, and your damp socks, gently rubbing the soles of your feet as you sigh and shoot him a pleased smile.

“Thanks, Frankie,” you mumble.

“Anything, hermosa,” he smiles back, letting go of your feet. “But I need to check your shoulder, might be less nice.”

“Do what you have to do as long as I can have food afterwards, I’m starving.”

“You took a long time getting here, what happened?” Frankie asks, making you sit up so that he can slide your jacket off.

“There were infected everywhere, we had to stay hidden for long periods of time. Pope thinks maybe the noise from the bridge collapsing attracted them.”

“Yeah, we saw some on our side of the river, but not that many. How does this feel?” He gently prods the joint of your shoulder and you wince as he carefully moves your arm.

“Hurts and feels very stiff,” you say, glancing down at it. There’s a dark bruise forming and you can see the swelling around the joint..

“If we had an ice pack I’d put it on,” Frankie says, “But for now, keep it still, I’ll get you that sling.” Frankie steps over to his pack and rifles through it, coming back and setting your shoulder more comfortably against your chest. You watch his deft hands as he works and when he’s done you lean in and capture his lips in a soft kiss. He hums against you, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing your skin.

“I’m so happy you’re ok, Frankie,” you whisper, “Did you get hurt on the bridge?”

“Just a few scrapes,” he says, his mouth still close to yours as he turns up his palms and shows you a few angry looking lines. “I had to clean them with alcohol, that fucking stung,” he chuckles, “but they’re fine now. How did you hurt your shoulder?”

“Promise you won’t get mad?” you say, pulling back a little so that you can see his face clearly and he frowns at you.

“What happened?” His eyebrows come together in a frown, his body stiffening under your touch.

“We, Pope and me, had to hide in a building when a group of infected surprised us.Turned out Joel and Tommy were already in there and they grabbed us, Joel twisted my arm behind my back. But they didn’t know it was us,” you say hastily as you see Frankie scowl and look towards Joel. “Frankie,” you pull his eyes back to you, “they just did what we would’ve done if someone unknown walked in here now.”

“Yeah, ok,” he relents, his face softening again, “Let me get you some food, should be done now.”

As Frankie stands up Joel comes over, he’s got a bowl in his hand and as he crouches down he hands it to you.

“How’s the shoulder? Sorry ‘bout it,” he says, looking at the makeshift sling Frankie’s put together.

“It’s sore, but it’ll heal, don’t worry about it,” you reply, gratefully accepting the bowl of stew and rice.

“Alright,” Joel responds, clearing his throat, “Good, and thanks for…” he waves his hand over at where Benny and Will are deep in conversation with Tommy, going over what’s happened in the six years since they last saw each other. “It’s good seeing them in one piece.”

“I’m glad we were able to bring you guys together,” you say as Joel gets to his feet again, nodding to Frankie.

“Good to see you too, Frankie.”

“Yeah, same, Joel,” Frankie replies as Joel turns and begins rolling out his sleeping mat.

Frankie grabs a bowl for himself and sinks down next to you, you’re almost done with the stew, wolfing it down.

“Got you some painkillers too, cariño,” he hands them to you with his water canteen and you gratefully swallow the two pills. Once they kick in you slip into your sleeping bag, drifting off as Frankie helps Ben take care of the dishes. You barely wake as he slips in next to you, careful to not disturb your shoulder, but you reach for his hand as he puts his arm over your waist, turning your head towards him as he places a soft kiss on your cheek.

The dull throbbing in your shoulder wakes you early next morning and forces you to get up, just to get some relief. There’s thin slivers of light shining through the shutters, giving you enough light to move around and pad out into the hallway in your socks. You’d missed any talk of having a watch roster last night but it seems you were allowed to sleep through the night. Tommy is sitting on a bench close to the door you came in through, playing cards with himself, a rifle next to him.

“Morning,” you greet him and he looks up.

“Hey, how’s the shoulder?” He scoots over on the bench, making room for you as you carefully move your arm.

“Sore and swollen, it’ll take a few days to get better, but don’t worry about it,” you say as you see his apologetic face, “you did what we would’ve done in the same situation.”

“Yeah, I suppose, we all have to assume the next person we meet is either infected or the enemy.”

“Not much trust going ‘round these days,” you agree, watching him gather up the cards and shuffle them.

“I wanted to ask you,” you begin cautiously as he starts dealing. “Joel’s daughter, Sarah?”

Tommy nods, his hands stopping as he looks up at you, “She didn’t make it, she died that first night,” he says, his voice low and you sigh and close your eyes.

“Fuck...I’m sorry, Tommy,” you look up at him again as he leans back against the wall. “I didn’t wanna assume but when she wasn’t with you, I had to ask.”

“Yeah, of course, just don’t mention it to Joel,” Tommy tilts his head so that he can look over at you. “He’s not one to talk about it.”

You nod, rubbing your hand over your face, “I get it, more than you think.”

“Frankie’s girl?” Tommy says and you hear the question in his voice.

“A few days after the outbreak, she got infected.”

Now it’s Tommy’s turn to breathe out a low Fuck as he drops his head back against the wall again. “I’m sorry, for you and for Frankie, she was a great kid.”

“So was Sarah,” you say, giving Tommy a weak smile, “Lucìa wouldn’t stop talking about her after we got home, she was bugging Benny to invite you guys over as soon as possible so that they could meet again.”

Tommy chuckles softly, “Yeah, I remember them thick as thieves at Denny’s, Lucìa following her around like a puppy.” He absentmindedly shuffles the deck of cards in his hand as you both stay silent for a few minutes, the soft snores of the still sleeping men coming from the classroom.

Tommy suddenly laughs softly, keeping his voice low, “I remember how annoyed Frankie got when I flirted with you that weekend, he got really possessive, those hickeys the next morning,” he grins and you feel your cheeks getting red at the memory, even all these years later.

“Feels like a lifetime ago,” you say and Tommy nods.

“Poker? I promise I won’t suggest the strip version,” he grins, dealing out the cards again.

You play a couple of rounds until you hear people stirring in the classroom. Frankie pokes his head out of the door and comes over when he sees you.

“Morning, sweetie,” you smile up at him as he bends to give you a kiss.

“Morning, cariño, you sleep ok? How’s the shoulder?” He lets his kiss linger a little bit longer than usual, his hand cupping the back of your head, before he pulls back and sits down on the bench next to you.

“Sore and swollen,” you say, shifting it a bit.

“I’ll get you a better sling today, just need a piece of wood to support your arm.”

“What’s the plan, down to Providence?” you ask, “I don’t know if you guys made plans after I fell asleep last night.”

“Not Providence,” Tommy says immediately, “we were on our way there but the QZ’s fell, overrun by infected.”

“Shit, what happened?” you ask, “We heard it was fine just a few days ago.”

“Not sure, but we ran into a survivor a week ago and he said FEDRA got challenged by another group when FEDRA kept cutting rations. FEDRA took out the other group pretty harshly, imposed martial law and people tried escaping or rebelling, it had been going on for a couple of months.” Tommy gathers the cards up and shuffles them before putting them back in the box. “The survivor we talked to didn’t know how it had happened, but infected got in, or someone who was infected slipped through the checkpoint, it started spreading on the inside anyway. FEDRA lost control and started executing everyone, so riots broke out and FEDRA left, just took the last working trucks and just took off.”

“Did you get to Providence, what’s the situation like there now?” Frankie asks, leaning forward to look at Tommy.

“We didn’t get to the gates, got told to not go anywhere near it, too many infected.” Tommy glances up towards the door as Joel looks out.

“Morning, Joel.”

“Morning, coffee’s ready if y'all want some,” he says and you can smell it wafting through the hallway now.

“So what’s your plan then?” Frankie asks as you go back towards the classroom.

“Boston, I think,” Tommy says, “It’s the nearest QZ from here, big enough.”

You sit down next to Will who gives you a quick smile and a mug of coffee, Frankie sinks to the floor next to you too.

“Thanks, Will,” he says, taking a second mug. “So what’s our plan then, if Providence is a no go?” He looks over at Will and Pope, “Boston for us too?”

“I don’t know about you guys,” Benny says, “but I think we should stick together, with Joel and Tommy I mean.”

You see Pope frown, he hasn’t warmed up to Joel after yesterday, and by the way Joel stiffens and scowls at his coffee mug, you know he’s not all for it either.

“I think it’s a great idea, Benny;” Tommy says, glancing over at Joel, “You guys are family and we know you and Will consider the rest of y’all as family too, we can trust each other.”

“What do you say, Joel?” Will asks, he can sense that Joel’s not totally onboard and the older man looks down at his coffee, jaw working as he seems to go over the options in his head.

“Yeah, might be a good idea,” he says eventually, but there’s still hesitation in his voice, “there’s safety in numbers and y’all are ex Special Ops, and like Tommy says, we can trust each other,” he says the last thing looking over at Pope who holds his gaze for a few seconds before nodding.

“Yeah, we can trust each other.”

Joel nods to Pope, the two men seeming to come to some sort of silent agreement.

You think it seems like a good idea, it makes sense. You can’t see Will and Benny just walking away from their cousins now, even if they’re maybe not the same people they were six years ago. And like Joel said, there’s safety in numbers and it’s forty miles to Boston, lots of bombed out suburban landscape to cover. You shudder at the thought, your shoulder aches, you’re in no shape to take on anything and the thought of having to cover forty miles on foot makes you miserable. Frankie notices your body shiver and slips his arm around your waist.

“What’s up, hermosa?” he whispers softly in your ear as he leans his chin on your good shoulder.

“It’s a long way to Boston,” you whisper back, looking over at him with worried eyes, “I’m scared, so much can go wrong.”

“We’ll go slow, be cautious, and not let Benny jump on bridges.” The last thing he says with a crooked smile, nudging your nose with the cool tip of his own.

“No more bridges please,” you say, giving him a small smile.

“Maybe I should lay off the arepas,” Frankie chuckles softly, his hand now rubbing soothing circles on the small of your back. “Amor de mi vida,” he whispers after a while, “I can’t promise everything will be fine, but I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe, I promise that.”

“And keep yourself safe,” you add, “you’re the love of my life too, Frankie.” He gives a little nod before his soft lips press against yours. You’re still sitting next to Will, right by the camping stove, but you’re in a bubble of your own with Frankie. The others talk about Boston, the route and possible dangers. You don’t notice Joel watching you with a frown, his fingers tapping on his thigh, before he glances down at the broken watch on his arm.

Chapter 28

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse @harriedandharassed @meveispunk @hiroikegawa @jwritesfanfics @vickie5446

129 notes · View notes

arcielee · 1 month

Text

Interview With a Writer

Thank you @st-eve-barnes for going over your Saltburn series with me! Just a reminder, you can view volume 1 & 2 of my ongoing series Interview With a Writer, where these talented individuals allow me to pick their brains over the brilliance behind their writing!

Name: st-eve-barnes

Story: Leverage

Paring: Michael Gavey x Female!Reader

WARNINGS: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

So, when did you start writing?

I guess I have to say as a teenager, though I never shared anything I wrote back then. I still have the notebooks I used to drabble in (in Dutch), it wasn’t very good at all but I guess even back then I had that need to be creative and make my own stories.

I officially started writing fanfic in 2013. I watched Thor the Dark World, fell in love with Loki, made a Tumblr and a whole new world opened. After a few months of reading fanfic, I started writing my own. Again, it wasn’t very good at all but even my bad stories slowly started to find an audience on here, so I stuck with it.

Loki is amazing, just Aemond energy in a different font.

He truly is! I've written different characters since, but the moment I saw Aemond on screen I was transported back to the first time I saw Loki. His intensity, that quiet threat like you don't know what he's going to do next, combined with this, "I was made to be king but my stupid brother is the chosen one."

And a certain sadness, of course. We know they're the villains, but we understand them in a way and can feel their pain. And they are sexy as hell of course ;)

Where did the plot for Leverage come from?

Okay, so first of all, I am someone who never plans an entire plot when I start a fic. I am very much a "make it up as I go along" writer. I start with an idea and a dynamic I want to write between two characters and then I build from there.

For this one I wanted Reader and Michael to have a common goal and a common enemy, something that would push these two different characters to want to work together. I wanted the enemies to lovers vibe but soft. Like, you can tell very early on in the fic that they have empathy for each other. When Reader is crying, Michael softens up easily, and when she sees Michael being vulnerable about not being able to get girls, she feels for him as well.

Their personalities will still clash even after that, but you can (hopefully) feel the connection between them as well. I wanted Ben's threat to loom over them for the entire fic but also never make it the main plot point in every chapter. The main plot for me here was how Michael and Reader could help each other change and grow, and then either accept that change or turn away from it.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal?

No, not really, I think. I wanted to make her independent and confident, but also a little bit lonely, all traits you can also find in Michael. And anything else, as usual, I make up as I go along. I get to know the characters as I write them and often I'm surprised where they take me. In this fic I think it was Michael who surprised me the most though, he really turned out different than I initially had planned.

Explain your interpretation of Michael. What drives him? How did he differ from what you originally had in mind?

Salburn didn't give us much to work with, and I actually love that because it gives us so much freedom to play with the character.

I went with what the movie did give us: Michael's obvious hatred for the popular privileged kids. It's the reason he initially hates Reader, but warms up to her when he learns that she is actually working for her place at Oxford and she is not a real part of Ben's group. I think he is driven to help her purely because of that common enemy in the beginning.

Then he gets to know her a little and the promise of sex comes into play, which he definitely doesn't say no to. What surprised me in writing him is that I initially planned on writing him as a sub throughout the entire fic, but then half way in the tables started turning and he started taking over control a bit (of the Reader and me as well apparently!). And then suddenly it made complete sense to write him that way, because he would be that overeager student who wants to do well and who does the homework to get it exactly right, it doesn't matter whether it's math or sex, he wants to show how good and smart he is.

Him just accepting his feelings for her so calmly was also something I didn't plan, but just sort of happened as I was writing.

My initial plans there was going to be a big fight between her and Michael right before they would call things off. He would force her to admit her feelings and the sex would turn quite rough; Michael just being Michael and saying a lot of wrong things to her that would eventually shut her down completely. But I never wrote that scene and by the time I got there in the story it didn't seem to fit their characters anymore and it also seemed too heavy for this fic so I let go of that idea.

Do you feel your Reader and Michael complement one another?

I definitely think they complement each other, but I also think they are quite alike in many ways. As I said before, they are both quite confident in different ways and insecure in others.

I do think they complement each other perfectly with Michael being more book smart and focused, while Reader is (a lot) better with people and social skills. I think them being together changes them both for the better cause they can learn from each other's personalities and bring out the best out in each other (but also the worst, of course).

Let's say that in their future they definitely learn to focus on bringing out the best and not the worst in each other ;)

Do you think you'll ever continue their story?

Never say never, but there's no plans to write more for them for now. I don't think I've written many sequels over the years, but I love writing different ideas and dynamics between two characters and once they are together, it's like "my work here is done."

Do you have a personal favorite story (on ao3 or Tumblr) you'd like to share?

My absolute favorite story is from a previous fandom that I'm not in anymore, but I have to share that one as it is the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. It was the fic that pulled me into the fandom. It's a Stucky story and it's called Not Easily Conquered, known as NEC in the fandom.

It will crush your soul and heal you and I will give anyone the same advice I got before I read it for the first time: be prepared because this one will hurt. I cried for like a week after I read it and I don't cry easily so this one should come with a warning. But it is absolutely worth it!

Do you have another story in the works?

The only thing I'm working on right now is a Felix Catton x Reader story called Pretty Little Liars. Two chapters have been posted and I'm working on the next ones, but it may be a while as life has been a bit full on here lately.

Would you like to share a snippet of what's to come?

“I think he has a little crush on you,” you stated while Felix opened the door to his room and let you step inside first. Felix shook his head but the little blush on his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by you. “It’s not like that,” he denied, “He’s just…a bit lost and I’m trying to be his friend.” “You sure that’s all he wants?” “Yeah,” he laughed, “Ollie doesn’t want me, he just wants to be like me.” “If you say so,” you sighed, not convinced. Felix grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you down to sit on the side of his bed, leaning forward to look into your eyes, “Hey, come on, don’t ruin this by becoming jealous.” “I’m not jealous, I’m…concerned.” That wasn’t a lie. Jealousy was never a factor, you knew right from the start that Felix would never truly be yours, you would always have to share him with the rest of the world. And you always accepted that. But the idea of sharing him with Oliver somehow made your blood boil. Felix kneeled down in front of you, eyes locking with yours as his gaze darkened and he smiled that irresistible smile of his. “Now, did you come up here to chat about Ollie, or to get your pussy eaten, hmm? Cause I can’t do both at the same time.” His lips connected with your knee, kissing your skin softly and you bit your lip and sighed deeply, “Fine, I’ll shut up.”

#interview with a writer #bts #of their brilliant writing #writing community #writing stuff #writers on tumblr

36 notes · View notes

lokisprettygirl · 1 year

Text

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 8 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

Summary : A misunderstanding seperates you two.

Warning: mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour

To say that Loki was angry would have been an understatement, he was livid and he really would have hurt someone if he was allowed to do that. Unfortunately he no longer had an autonomy here, he was just a puppet, at first for Odin, then for Thanos and now these clowns in suits.

Everytime he thought of you it only made him want to cry. What you must be thinking of him? You must despise him, he had no clue about all of this but you didn't know that. Of Course he was getting punished for a mistake he didn't even make, the one person who seemed to actually care about him would probably never want to see him again either after this.

"Loki" He heard Thor knocking on the door, he went back to his chamber after press conference and when the news broke, he couldn't just stay out there with people who seemed so shallow, if they really wanted to leak the story, why didn't they just invite you here to tell the truth? Why did they just replace you like that?

He opened the door and Thor was looking at him with a look of pity in his eyes.

"I need to call her Thor, she must be waiting to hear from me, i desperately need to connect with her" he mumbled as fast as he could but his voice cracked.

"Just calm down Loki"

"Calm down? Calm down? I can not stay calm when I know she must be hurting there, why did you tell Stark about her?" Thor crossed his arms and he had a look of confusion on his face.

"I told him? I just gave him a briefing, why did you open your big mouth and share everything with that Melisaa lady?" He retorted and Loki realised what he had done, he told her every little thing you had done that day.

"I just..she asked me and I wanted to talk about her. I miss her around me, I miss seeing her, I miss talking to her" his eyes teared up and Thor sighed,

"You really do fancy her don't you"

Loki didn't respond this time, Thor went back to Stark and asked him to allow Loki that one phone call he had promised, so Stark, his publicist Dalia and other members from his team called Loki in the conference room. As soon as Loki walked in he stormed towards Tony which made him take several steps to the back.

"Look.. let me just clear one thing up okay?" Tony started speaking so Loki crossed his arms together. He actually didn't have an answer for him so he looked at Dalia, their publicists, she smiled at Loki but he didn't return it.

"I know you think we are evil for doing this but we did get in touch with y/n, that girl you were staying with all this time" his eyes flickered at the mention of your name.

"What did she say? Can I talk to her?"

"Listen to me Loki, she clearly wants to stay away from this drama, she said that she don't feel comfortable with this thing getting out in the world as she's just a normal girl and this would affect her life greatly, she refused to come here, we invited her only first, Melisaa was just the plan b" Tony looked at her as she pulled out a blatant lie, there's no way they reached out to that girl in Minnesota, he didn't even know this girl, all Dalia told him was that y/n wasn't someone who would look good with someone like Loki.

Loki's eyes welled up as he heard that. Did you really not want to get in touch with him? You did refuse to come here with him, it has been only two months but those two months meant everything to him.

"I like to believe that these past two months has been as nice for you as they have been for me"

Your words echoed in his head and they only made him feel more broken.

"I know you don't want to hear this but she said that she wouldn't want to associate herself with someone like you so publicly, your reputation isn't the best, in fact the way she was talking to me it seemed as if she didn't want to stay in touch with you at all" the words pierced his heart. You would never say something like that about him. Right?

"I still need her information, give me her phone number" he mumbled so she placed a slip on the table. He walked towards it and grabbed it quickly, then he stormed out of there. He did not want to believe this, did you really not want to connect with him? His heart felt heavy and burdened by the memories he had made with you.

He sat down on his bed and used the telephone in the room to dial the number, the number was turned off, he kept hearing the same message over and over again. He just wanted to hear it from you once, he wanted to be told that you were done with him too just like everyone else. Silent tears cascaded down his cheeks as he kept trying to connect with you but his attempts were futile, he felt shattered.

All he wanted to do was go back to that apartment of yours and cuddle you on that bed but perhaps you didn't want that anymore.

You didn't know how much you had cried that day, he hadn't called you and now they were using the story so people would like him, why didn't he call you? Did he not want to talk to you at all? Were you this easy to discard and replace? Of Course you were, that's what had happened to you before so why did you think you would become an exception for a god like him? It indeed felt like a breakup that you never saw coming, you weren't even able to fall asleep because the memories kept you up at night, all you wanted to do was snuggle him and kiss him.

You wanted the time to turn back and bring him back to you but did he even want that anymore?

You couldn't have expected a powerful man like him agreeing to stay hidden in your apartment forever especially with someone like you but he was your friend right then why did he abandon you like that?

"How do you know I have not done just that, maybe all of this is just an act to fool you"

Maybe you were just a fool he played with.

Next day as you stepped out of your apartment you saw Mrs Geller and you could tell she was concerned about you.

"Are you alright my dear?" She asked you so you looked at her confused "Come have a cup of tea with me"

"I have to work" you answered her, so she walked towards you and grabbed your hand to take you to her apartment. Every Time someone showed a bit of concern for you, your eyes welled up on their own,

"That day i thought you were over this breakup but you aren't doing well are you?" She asked you as she made you sit down on her couch and that's when you broke down. You couldn't even tell anyone about him, you couldn't share your pain and keeping it all in only made it worse.

"I am not..I'm not okay" you placed your head between your palms as you started to sob, you weren't eating and you weren't taking care of yourself at all, it was starting to show.

"He was the sweetest man I had ever known and you know before.. before I met him i always thought that I still had time, I used to think that okayyyy I'm not that old I still have hope, i always wanted someone like him and for a moment i did but now he's gone and that hope is gone too because I know I'll never ever find anyone like him again because there's no one else exactly like him, it's just impossible" her eyes teared up as you cried furiously so she laid you down on the couch with your head resting on her lap and she caressed your head until you fell asleep.

Loki woke up with the sound of loud banging noises on his door, he was having a dream about you, a sweet dream where he saw himself sitting on that ugly sofa of yours with you on his lap, you were giggling about something he had said to you and then you told him how cute he was as you kissed his forehead. He wanted to stay in that dream but he had to wake up sometime, he got up and showered because he had a training session with the Captain and Romanoff, he despised his life here, he truly did.

It's been a few days since that press conference and they were preparing him to fight like an Avenger. Thor was on Asgard for political purposes and he wasn't wanted there so he had no choice but to stay here. Every night when he went back to his room after the long day he always held that slip in his hands and dialed your number but it always told him the same thing, the number always was switched off or perhaps you changed it. He wanted to stop bothering you like this but he missed you plenty, he just wanted to hear your voice once and he would have killed for a chance to hold you just once.

"Loki are you listening? What are you wearing for the party? Our clothes need to match for the pictures" he heard Melissa's voice and it only irked him further, she wasn't at fault here, she was probably doing what she has been told to do but he didn't feel anything for her even though she had tried her best to seduce him, maybe it was because she was trying so hard, she was trying to fuck him while you wanted to be his friend, you cared about him , you didn't just want to have sex with him and be done with him after that, you wanted more the same way he did but then what changed? What made you take a step back?

At the party she clicked several pictures with him, it was an act on his part but he had no choice in the matter, people of midgard were starting to like him and this fake couple they had created.

You sat down on the sofa after work and opened the Instagram app to stalk the Melissa chick again. She had posted a new photo with him with some cheesy caption, your heart clenched as you looked at his face. He had a smile on his face but why did his eyes seem so sad? That's not how you remembered them, whenever he was genuinely happy his eyes always became so sparkly and bright, they reminded you of the sun rising first thing in the morning. Maybe you were just romanticizing him, you knew this was not healthy for you but you couldn't stop doing this as well. That should have been you with him. Why wasn't that you?

....

"Oh my godd I'm so drunk" he looked at Melissa as she sat down next to him, she was inebriated he could tell.

"Do you want me to walk you to your room?" He asked her politely, he didn't really like her but his mother always taught him to respect ladies so he never really made it clear that he didn't like her, she was just doing her job.

He walked her to the room and laid her down on the bed, he was about to leave but she grabbed his tie and pulled him closer to her.

"Loo stay with me" she mumbled and the shortened name was upsetting for him, it reminded him of you only.

"Please don't address me with that name" he told her as he tried to pull himself away as gently as he could, he didn't want to hurt her.

"Okay Loki.. is that fine?" She raised her voice and he was shocked by her tone "Just stay the night, come on..be a man, aren't you supposed to be a god? How come you don't want thisss?" She mumbled as she tried to kiss him so he pushed her away a little harshly this time to get out of her clutches.

"Do not behave so disrespectfully, you hear me? This is all just a farce and I need you to remember that" he walked out of her room as quickly as he could before this would get uglier than this, he didn't want to go back to his room so he took the elevator to the roof and sat down on the ledge.

It's been a month since he had seen you last, they say that time is the best remedy for such emotional wounds but then how come it was only getting harder and harder for him to forget you?

He wasn't able to let go of those memories he had made with you, you had him enchanted that very first day, he felt a sense of belonging with you, there was a strong emotional connection between you two and you have been hurt before so badly then why did you allow all of that to go to waste? How come you didn't want to explore the depth of this relationship between you two? He waved his fingers and a bottle of beer appeared in his hand that he had stolen from the several parties he had attended in the past few days.

He remembered how excited you used to get whenever he'd do one of these magicky things as you liked to call it.

A smile appeared on his face as he thought about you, he closed his eyes and just pictured himself with you in that tiny little apartment. The bliss didn't last for long because he heard the thunder roaring above him and then Thor was there.

"Welcome back" he mumbled as Thor sat down next to him.

"Aren't you supposed to be down there at the celebration?"

"I am" Loki answered as he chugged on his drink. He could feel his brother's gaze on him so he conjured another pint and gave it to him

"How's mother?"

"She misses you" he chuckled as Thor said that, it just seemed unbelievable at times. Did they even care when he was supposedly dead for a year? Did they even mourn him properly before they moved on and pretended as if he never existed?

"There's something I wanted to tell you" Thor spoke so Loki looked at him curiously,

"Go on"

"I had a conversation with Heimdall before my arrival, that lady of yours. .he said that she always seems miserable" Loki's eyes widened as Thor said that.

"What?"

"Loki that day before the press conference Stark said to me that he didn't think she'd fit into your new life. When you told me that she didn't want to talk to you I thought perhaps she wasn't ready for this but heimdall said she has been miserable without you, she keeps crying"

Loki stood up suddenly as he heard that.

"But I have been trying to connect with her and she just–" his eyes flickered with realization "What if that's not even her information that they gave me? What if they never communicated with her?" His eyes teared up as he thought about the possibility. What if you thought he was the one who didn't want to do anything with you?

"Norns I need to see her now" he stood up and his hand combed through his hair. Why didn't he just go see you in the first place?

"Loki you can't, we can't go there" Thor intervened.

"I can, I can teleport without the tesseract"

"No hold on Loki that would kill you, Minnesota is far from here"

"I have to .. Thor i have to go see her, I'd never be able to live with myself if I continue to hurt her like this" his eyes welled up so Thor sighed and stood up as well.

"But what if they weren't lying, what if she doesn't want to do anything with you?" That was definitely a possibility, a possibility that would continue to break his heart forever but he had to take that risk. He can't live his whole life this way.

"Well then maybe I just need to hear it from her. I promised her that I'd get back to her" his voice trembled as he spoke. Thor knew the moment he met you that you cared about him, you genuinely did and maybe Loki needed this person in his life more than anything, their brotherly relationship has soured because of everything that has happened amongst them but maybe this lady can bring back his older self, he seemed to be the happiest whenever he talked about you.

It was 2 am at night and somehow you had managed to drift into sleep but then your phone started to ring and it was Mrs Geller so you picked it up.

"Hello Mrs Geller, is everything alright?" You asked her as you felt concerned, she never called this late at nights.

"Oh dear I'm sorry to bother you but I think that guy you broke up with is downstairs, I think he buzzed the wrong number" you sat up immediately as she he said that.

"Wait a second..what?" You turned on the lights, got off the bed and started to pace back n forth in nervousness

"That man.. Mark Johnson..he's downstairs, should I buzz him in?"

You almost dropped the phone from your hand as she mentioned his name, he must have told her the name, that means he was Loki. Oh god Loki was there.

"Ummm yeah ..bring him in.. ummm I'm sorry Mrs Geller, he probably forgot the apartment number "

You apologized and she hung up the phone after she told you that it wasn't an issue. Your heart was beating so fast you feared it would burst out of your chest and explode into several pieces.

You quickly walked towards the mirror but it was a lost cause, you looked awful and there was no fixing it.

As you heard the knock on the door you took a deep breath and opened it. There he was, as pretty as you remembered him to be. He smiled as he looked at you but his eyes were teary. You looked at Mrs Geller and she seemed shocked because this wasn't Mark Johnson, this was Loki in all his loki glory, even though he was in a fancy midgardian suit, everyone knew him by face at this point.

"I promise I'll explain tomorrow" you said to her and he turned around to smile at her. Finally he had come face to face with the famous Mrs. Geller.

"Oh dear ..alright, have a good night..both of you" she exclaimed awkwardly and she shut her door. Before anyone else would see him you pulled him inside and closed the door, the relief he felt in the moment was indescribable. He has missed this place and more than that he has missed you.

"So ummm how are you Loki?" You asked and he smiled. He could sense that you were cross with him but that didn't stop you from asking about his well being.

"I have been better, especially when I was here, I was so much better" you snickered as he said that. Yeah right, that's why he never contacted you again.

"Loki, really what are you doing? I am surprised you remember me still" You mumbled as you walked past him and moved to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"I am hurt by the notion, I could never forget you princess" he answered you so you glared at him.

"Yeah? Is that why you replaced me with Gorgeous gorgeous Melissa?" Your eyes welled up and so did his.

"That wasn't my decision, I didn't even know of that" his voice sounded so meek and sad that it made you wonder. Oh god what if he didn't know? What if they fooled him?

"Okay umm then why didn't you call?" As soon as you asked him that he just knew that they never contacted you, your anger seemed valid because he was hurt too by your decision of not wanting to do anything with him, you must have thought the same. He took out the slip they had given him from his pocket and placed it down on the kitchen counter so you looked at it, it was a phone number but you didn't recognise it.

"I am assuming that's not yours?" He asked you so you shook your head. He smiled before he turned around and walked towards the sofa to sit down, his knees felt weak, he was hurting you unknowingly all this time and he had no clue.

"I waited for your call Loki and it never came" you mumbled softly, he could hear the pain in your voice and it hurt him to the core. He never wanted to drive you away like this, he never wanted to fuck this precious relationship he shared with you, he just hoped that you'd still want him in your life, that you'd still want to be his friend.

"They said to me that they had asked you to be there with me and you refused to be part of that, you didn't want to get yourself involved and I knew how you felt about this and your family and I just thought you–" you looked at him shocked as he said that. They lied to him, he didn't lie to you, they played you both simultaneously.

"I know i said it was too much at the moment Loki but I never wanted to lose you, you knew what your friendship meant to me"

"I know.. I know darling..i just ..i really wanted to connect with you and hear it from you but that number..that never worked" he sniffled so you sat down next to him and held his hand in yours to gave him a comforting squeeze.

"I just thought you had moved on, and it hurt.. so bad because –" before you could even finish your sentence he went down on his knees in front of you, he grabbed both of your hands in his then he placed his head down on your lap, the sight alone made you want to curl up to him. He was being hurt too all this time.

"Loo" you mumbled softly as you leaned down to kiss his head, he smelled as good as you remembered, whenever the bed started to lose his scent you sprinkled some of that perfume he had given you just to feel him around you and now that he was actually there it felt surreal, it felt like a dream.

"Come here ..I'm sorry I didn't know" you opened your arms so he crawled up, you climbed on his lap and he immediately placed his head on your chest to embrace you as tightly as he could. He was crying and you were crying, it was a mess but at least you both had each other.

"I should have come before, I have hurt you so deeply and I don't know how I'd fix it, you saved my life and –" you pressed your finger on his lips to stop him from blaming himself, you were so angry with him before you had learned the truth because you thought he had abandoned you but now that you knew the anger had dissipated completely and all that you felt for him was the intense love, that never left, it was always there.

"We will fix it" You mumbled softly as you fingers caressed his cheeks "We just need to communicate because people aren't too nice out there okay?" he nodded as you said that, you wiped his tears with your thumb and you both had a moment where you just looked at each other because none of you could really believe that the other person was there and then he cupped your cheeks to kiss you, his lips planted on yours and he gave you soft kiss before it heated up, his tongue slipped into your mouth and he tasted so cold and so sweet like a frozen slurpee. God you had missed him so badly, this morning when you woke up you definitely didn't think you'd be getting to kiss him tonight.

As he pulled away the look on your face made him smile, you had your eyes closed, your breaths seemed erratic and your lips had swollen because of the kiss. He had missed you more than anything and he wasn't going to lose you again. He also noticed the fluctuation in your weight, you were still so beautiful but those bags under your eyes hinted at the lack of sleep and the sunken cheeks reminded him that you haven't been eating enough. Neither was he but his genes made it easier to hide.

"Did you umm eat dinner tonight..i guess I should say last night because it's almost 3 in the morning" you asked him and he smiled.

"I did not princess "

"Why?"

"Well nobody asked, " you shook your head at the answer.

"I have leftovers, I'll warm it up for you okay?" You mumbled softly

"I'll eat if you'd do the same"

"Okay" You pressed your lips on his to give him a peck but instead of pulling away quickly, you pecked on his lips like a bird again and again atleast five more times. He couldn't help but smile at the gesture, this was going to be his favorite thing from now on.

As you got off his lap, he grabbed your hand and followed you. He didn't want to leave your side because he felt afraid of the distance. You felt so hurt by him and he wasn't even at fault here, they had created this situation just to separate you two. And they were supposed to be the heroes. The good guys.

"Lo how did you get here?"

"Thor helped"

"Oh. Tell him I said thanks " you smiled so he pecked your lips before he leaned himself against the counter.

Just being here with you made him feel better. Everything seemed shinier and brighter at the moment.

"Ummm do you have to leave soon?" You asked him nervously, you knew he'd have to leave, you just didn't want him to go.

"He will pick me up in the morning, they can not know that I am here" he answered so you nodded.

"I know..but atleast we have the night" you smiled as you walked towards him, your arms wrapped around his waist as you hugged him then you placed your head down on his chest. After eating, he wanted to take a shower and you had kept the clothes he had left behind so you took it out for him. When he came out he was all drenched and wrapped in that towel that seemed too small for him, your face felt warm at the view so you turned around.

You fixed the bed and then you both jumped on it without wasting a second further, he was holding onto you so tight but it didn't suffocate you, infact you were finally able to breathe properly after so long. That's all you needed in your life now. Just him.

"Lo can I ask you something?"

"Mhhm"

"Why did you come today, what made you do so?"

"Well Thor had just returned from. Asgard and he told me that heimdall has informed him about you, and that you weren't happy without me" he told you honestly.

"I was miserable without you " you mumbled softly so he put his head up from your chest and kissed you "It's kind of eerie that I'm being watched all the time though" you giggled and it made him laugh too.

"I have missed you so much my princess, I never wanted to hurt you like this"

"I know that now, I'm sorry I assumed the worst, I just thought you were done with me" your eyes teared up so he turned you on your back and kissed you, your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer to you.

"Wait ..umm are you dating this Melissa woman?" You asked him and he looked at you confused before he understood what you meant.

"Not at all, it's all an act, nothing is real between us"

"So you're not her friend or anything?"

"You're my only friend sweetheart " you smiled and it made him smile too so he kissed you again.

"Well the act is working you're getting really popular on Tumblr" he chuckled as you said that

"What is that?"

"It's like Facebook, girls really want to have sex with you, some guys too"

He blushed as you said that

"Well I do not care for that" He only wanted to sex you up and do other things with. Just you.

He laid down on his side again with his head between the crook of your neck so you embraced him in a bear hug.

"You're so cutee"

"I have been dying to hear that..how cute I am though? On a parameter of let's say one to ten"

"You're like a thousand"

"I broke the parameter" he spoke excitedly.

"Definitely"

"You are absolutely adorable too my princess"

"I have missed you Loki"

"I'll come see you now princess, perhaps not everyday but I will be here" his words eased your worries but then the situation bothered you.

"What if they find out lo? I don't want them to hurt you"

"They can't hurt me Princess, I'm stronger of them all, I hope my silence won't be mistaken for my weakness, i committed a crime and for that I'm willing to atone but I won't let them harm you in anyway I promise " you kissed his forehead as he finished speaking. He was a victim too, you hoped someday he'd see it that way as well. Also they definitely didn't want you to be in his life and that worried you.

"People like me don't gel with people like them you know, they're above me"

"That makes no sense to me, they are all humans, same as you and my precious princess you're way above them all, your kindness is unmatched, you gave me a home when I had no one to call my own, you don't even know how much you mean to me" he mumbled softly, making you heart soar.

"I do now, I do lo and I'm so happy to have you in my life and that you came back"

His fingers caressed your back and they didn't stop until you had fallen asleep, sure he wanted to atone for the crimes he had committed but first and foremost he wanted to take care of the goddess that had chosen to believe in him when nobody did. He never wanted to hurt you again or destroy your faith in him.

In a few hours he knew he'd have to leave you again but he was determined that he wasn't going to lose you this time.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72

@nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @hyperlokilover @vickie5446 @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @tallseaweed @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @flashhxn-lights @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @nyxxharmonia @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @optimisticyouthdefender @mcuhplover @greep215 @yallgotkik

@obscureenigmatic @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x reader angst #loki x you #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

294 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 6 months

Text

Five Fics Friday "LOKI" BONUS: November 16/23

Hey guys!! So LOKI just recently finished Season 2, and I was SO upset about the ending (in a bittersweet way... I loved the end but was SO mad that it ended the way it did after the narrative was telling us otherwise *cough*where have I seen this before*cough*). So, I decided to finally cave and soothe my soul with some Loki/Mobius fics. And since I've been asked in the past about Loki fic recs and only now am reading them, I thought I would share with y'all five of the ones I enjoyed this past week as a bonus list... 'cause, why not, and I ship it hard now, as much as Johnlock and Aziracrow 🙃

Enjoy this bonus list, just because I want to!! Happy Friday! :D

RECENTLY BOOKMARKED LOKIUS FICS

out of focus, eye to eye by markofalover (G, 2,129 w., 1 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Lokius, S02E05 Alternate Events, Pining Loki, Loki POV, Flirting, Misunderstandings, Crush at First Sight, Insecure Loki, Oh-Oh! Moment) – “You know…are you still in the market?” Loki raises his eyebrows. “Oh, for the, uh,” he sets his hands out in a wild gesture that he hopes somehow makes the mark, because he doesn’t know what an ATV even is— “Oh, no, no,” Mobius says. He’s smiling, now, for some reason Loki can’t quite understand, eyes sparkling in the sun, soft color in his cheeks. “I mean—sorry, I haven’t done this in a while. That was a bad line.”

Whoever, whatever you wanna be (Even someone good) by attack_choppa01 (T, 5,248 w., 1 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Post-S1, POV Loki, Fluff and Angst, Protective Loki, Protective Mobius, Friendship, First Kiss, Injury Recovery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Soft Loki, Bed Sharing, Mobius Whump, Anxious Loki, Love Confessions, Both Need A Hug, Arguing, Emotional Loki, Cuddling/Snuggling, Near-Death Experiences) – After a fight with two Kang variants puts Mobius in danger and injured, Loki gets defensive out of his desire to protect him. They argue and they make up (And make out). Part 4 of GLORIOUS PURPOSE

The Best Gift of All by frommyhearttoyours (T, 5,992 w., 1 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Parent / Teacher Modern AU || Lokius, Mobius POV, Single Dad Mobius, Teacher Loki, Single Parents, Love Confessions, Insecure Mobius, Frustrated Mobius, Mutual Pining, Sweet Fluff, Forehead Touching, Oh-Oh! Moment) – Mr. Laufeyson is the most popular teacher at Lakewood Elementary School, where Mobius's sons are students. He's not just popular among the children, though. He's an even bigger hit among the parents...especially the single ones on the hunt for a Mr. Right. Mobius isn't ashamed to admit he counts himself among the man's many, many admirers, but he also has no delusions that he could ever win the beautiful and intelligent Mr. Laufeyson's interest and attention. Because that would be impossible... right?

Branches by Ailendolin (T, 6,322 w., 6 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Post-S1, Lokius, Pining Loki, Five and One, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Panicking Loki, Protective Mobius, Made Me Cry, Angst, Loki Needs a Hug, Multiverse) – 5 times Loki searched the Multiverse for his Mobius, and 1 time Mobius found him.

never known how it broke me down by RunnyYolk (E, 51,152 w., 8 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Post-S1 Divergence, Lokius, Five and One, Alternating POV, Protective Mobius, Protective Loki, Jealous Mobius, Hurt Mobius, Vague Multiversal War Plot, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Feelings Realization, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Love Confessions, Anxious Loki/Mobius, Hugs/Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Developing Relationship, Reunions, Making Up, Friends to Lovers, Affection/Tenderness, Self-Esteem Issues, Top Mobius/Bottom Loki, Smut in Epilogue, Marriage Proposal, First Kiss/Time) – Wild curls caress his face as a melodiously shaky inhale cascades across the shell of his ear, arms wrapping desperately around his shoulders, and Mobius leans forward, giving his all in return until their hearts are nearly aligned. Nearly, yet not quite. Not quite.

#loki fic recs #lokius fic recs #lokius #my fic recs #five fics friday

64 notes · View notes

michelleleewise · 1 year

Text

Lab Assistant

Pairing: Avenger Loki x Female reader

Warnings: swearing, chaos, dum-e, fires, minor violence, minor smut (p in v), shower sex, fingering, fairly graphic, 18+.

Summary: Loki works at figuring out why he keeps shifting and has a run in with Tony, while you grow more frustrated.....

A/n- graphics by- @harlequin-hangout

Part of the Lokitty series-

You felt the sun on your face, stretching feeling the other side of the bed cold and empty. You looked over sighing seeing Loki hadn't come go bed last night. You threw the covers off, heading into the kitchen, coffee was definitely a must. You turned on the machine, going to the fridge for the creamer seeing the whipped cream you bought...untouched making you sigh. You went back to the counter, preparing two cups before heading into Loki's makeshift study seeing him hunched over a large book, eyebrows furrowed.

"Morning." You said, sitting the cup down on the desk as Loki looked up "Hello darling, is it morning already?" He asked grabbing cup "yup....sure is." You said flopping in the chair across from him. "Are you upset with me pet?" He asked setting the cup down "no..of course not. I love sleeping by myself." You snarked sipping your coffee. "I'm sorry darling, I just really need to figure this out." He said turning the page in his book. "Mm. Have fun." You said getting up heading to the bedroom. You grabbed your clothes, laying them out before going to the bathroom.

Turning on the shower you tossed your pajamas in the corner, stepping under the hot water sighing. You closed your eyes, your thoughts drifting to Loki. The way his jaw clenched when he fought, how his muscles flexed under his tight shirt during training, the way his long elegant fingers ghosted your skin, bringing you pleasure you had never know before. You slid your hand down your stomach, slowly moving lower imagining they were Loki's fingers as you slid them between your folds, caressing your clit "l..loki.." you breathed, moving your fingers back and forth circling your entrance feeling two arms wrap around you, gently pulling you back "have I neglected my pet?" You heard Loki purr in your ear making you shiver.

His fingers traced down your arm, joining your hand between your thighs lacing his fingers with yours, his free hand cupping your breast as he pushed your combined fingers into you making you gasp. "Mm that's it..." he purred kissing down your neck, his thumb rubbing over your nipple "I'll take care of you." He breathed licking the shell of your ear. He slid your fingers in and out as you rocked your hips against your hands, your head dropping to his shoulder. "Fuck me Loki.." you panted pressing further into him. "In due time darling " He whispered in your ear. You reached back, digging your hand into his hair "no...now!" You growled pulling hard hearing him groan

He guided you to the wall of the shower, removing his fingers from you making you whine as he guided your hands up placing them on the tile. He pulled your hips back, bending you over as his hand slowly slid down your thigh, hooking his arm under your knee lifting it up, moaning feeling him line himself up. "God Loki...hurry up!" You growled rocking back into him "Mm so much anger..." he panted, lifting your knee higher "allow me to fuck it out of you." He purred snapping his hips into you, bottoming out in one thrust making you cry out. "Fuck...you feel so good." He groaned, pulling his hips back, his fingers digging into your thigh as he slammed back into you, your arms shaking with the force.

He reached up, wrapping his long fingers around your throat, squeezing feeling your pulse race under his fingers. "Aahh....fuck....harder" you panted pushing your hips back into him. "Mm I do love it when your fiesty." He purred, setting an unforgiving pace, your arms weakening with each thrust "s..stop aahhh talking." You gritted, reaching back digging your nails into his ass as he slammed into you. He pressed his fingers into your throat, growling as he hit that spot inside you "t..that's it..fuck..come y/n." He groaned. Feeling him twitch inside you, you slammed your hips back into his as you came hard around him, feeling him spill inside you biting your shoulder.

You leaned your forehead against the tile trying to catch your breath as he slid out of you, placing your leg down "am I forgiven pet?" He panted, kissing your neck. "No, I don't think so." You said stepping back under the water. "Darling, what must I do to make it up to you?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you smiling "hmm...I'm sure I'll think of something." You smiled, leaning up pecking his lips quickly pulling back "is that all I get after giving you an earth shattering orgasm love?" He smiled, rocking you both back and forth "yyyup." You said turning around "that is cold pet." He laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting Tony in the lab?" You asked over your shoulder. "Do not remind me." He said kissing your shoulder "I shall see you this afternoon pet." He said slipping out of the shower, leaving you to finish.

"Stark!' Loki yelled through the lab making tony jump "Dammit Rudolph, mark my words, I'm gonna put a bell on you." He said setting the welder down "hm..yes, well anyway why was I summoned?" Loki asked, his hands behind his back as he walked along the long table. "Hm? Oh! Yes...here." He said waving Loki to follow him. "I swear stark, if this is another of your trivial inventions..." he said trailing off seeing a garment bag hanging on the wall. "Nope...the new team uniform." Stark said smiling unzipping the bag as Loki's eyes widened.

"I would rather die..again then to wear that...monstrosity!" Loki yelled, eyeing the red and white one piece suit with a very large "A" printed on the chest. "Oh come on, it's not that bad." Tony said smiling "this must be a jest, that is unfit for a clown, let alone a Prince." Loki sneered at the offending suit. "Your on the team horns..so you wear it." Tony said walking back to the table "I will do no such thing!" Loki yelled following him "and who are you to tell me..." he started, suddenly going quiet. Tony turned around seeing the room empty. "Rudolph?" He called out looking around. "What a diva." He scoffed, picking up his welder continuing his work on his new suit when a small black cat jumped up on the table.

"Well hey there little guy, where did you come from?" Tony asked setting the welder down, holding his hand out as the cat hissed and batted at him. "Hey! What the..." he said watching the cat jump to another table, his long tale whipping around his beakers "heeey...nooo.." he trailed off as the cat locked eyes with him, lifting his paw knocking one to the floor shattering on impact. "Hey..stop that!" Tony yelled, running over as the cat turned around, kicking more beakers onto the floor, the liquids mixing together on the floor beginning to smoke as the cat lept to another table, quickly knocking its contents to the floor. "Friday! I need Dum-E...stat!" Tony yelled to the ceiling, trying to make his way to the cat who was now digging his claws into the table top.

The small robot rolled in, whirring around moving towards Tony when a small fire began in the puddle of liquids. "Shit..shit.." Tony said, grabbing for the cat as it jumped down, running between his legs "get back here you..." he started, a puff of white suddenly surrounding him "not me dum-e! The actual fire!" Tony yelled as the bot continued to spray the extinguisher at him. "Dammit!" Tony yelled, ducking around the bot, running through the room spotting the cat digging it's claws into his suit, leaving deep gashes along the front. He was about to run over when the bot came over, spraying more of the extinguisher at him, blinding him when the smoke alarm went off, the loud screech hurting his ears "Friday! Turn off the alarm!" He yelled as loud as he could. "I would sir...but technically there is a fire." The ai replied.

"For the love of.." Tony trailed off, holding his arms out trying to make his way thought the thick haze of fog when suddenly a white light flashed in front of him, squinting he saw the cat chewing on the wires of one of his repulsars, causing it to fire. "Shit..I'm going to die." He said, slipping on a puddle of oil, the air leaving him as he landed hard on his back. He groaned, rolling to his side when he heard a voice calling his name "god...is that you?" He whispered, trying to catch his breath "Tony! Where are you!?" You yelled into the room, a cloud of white smoke billowing out of the lab as you stepped back.

You stepped in again, slowly feeling along the wall for the panel of switches, your fingers grazing them you flipped them on as the fans kicked on sucking the fog out of the room. You sighed taking in the room, dum-e was flailing around dousing Tony in extinguisher...there was a small fire in the corner...and "LOKI!" You yelled, seeing the cats head snap up, eyes meeting yours as he dove under a table. "COWARD!" You yelled, grabbing the extinguisher off the wall you walked over putting the fire out "dum-e...that's enough!" You yelled as the bot stopped, swiveling around to you "go..now!" You growled as it sped off to the other side of the lab.

You walked over, looking down at Tony trying not to laugh "what the actual hell?" You asked looking around "not my fault!" He said sitting up "I was telling Loki about the new suit, he threw a fit and poofed out, and then this cat showed up." He said pulling himself up with the table "Uh huh.." you said looking around "the cat..." you trailed off. "Say, can you make anything with those nanobots?" You asked, an idea forming "yeah why?" He asked sitting down. "Well, I think said cat needs a collar...one that will adjust with his size..green with a little gold bell." You said smiling, seeing the realization in Tony's eyes "gjve me a minute." He said rushing to the other side of the lab. You smiled, walking over to where you last saw loki "here kitty kitty." You purred, leaning down seeing a small box, two large eyes peeking over the top "aww, poor kitty...come here." You smiled holding your arms out.

He slowly climbed out of the box, nudging your hand with his head as you scooped him up, holding him to your chest he reached up licking your nose "aahh that feels weird." You laughed walking back to the middle of the lab, hearing him purr as scratched his ears. About an hour later he was fast asleep in your arms, sounding like a little motor boat as you held him to your chest. "Ok...here we go." Tony said walking over holding the small collar in his hand. "All you have to do is put it on, as he "gets bigger" the nanobots will adjust to the size of his neck." Tony said air quoting handing you the collar. You smiled, sliding it on clasping the back, holding back a laugh at the little gold bell dangling in the front. "I did tell him I was going to put a bell on him." Tony laughed "thanks Tony, we'll see how he likes being tricked." You smiled, getting up leaving the lab.

You made it back to your room, gently laying him on the bed before taking a seat in the corner of the room. You weren't sure how long it would be before he changed back but you couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he did.

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @sinsandguilt @high-functioning-lokipath @mochie85 @slytherclaw1227 @jaidenhawke @budugu @xorpsbane @schizonephilim @lokidokieokie @holdmytesseract @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokixryss @asgardianprincess1050 @aniar4wniak @sekaishell @lokispetblogs @loopsisloops @trojanaurora @lonadane @yelkmelk @stupidthoughtsinwriting @silverfire475 @goblingirlsarah @commanding-officer @glitterylokislut @kkdvkyya @cueloki @daggers-and-mischief @sititran @witchyblue @verycollectivecreator @nixymarvelkins @chantsdemarins @shinraski @usagishira @nightshadelm @filthyhiddles @dukes2581 @assemblingavenger @lulubelle814 @irishhappiness @wolfsmom1 @luvlady-writes @lovingchoices14 @thomase1 @myworldgoesboomz @huntress-artemiss

383 notes · View notes

smolvenger · 11 months

Text

A Court of Mischief and Purpose, Chapter One (Loki x fem! Reader A Court of Thorns and Roses Hiddlesverse AU)

Summary: Sarah J Maas's A Court of Mist and Fury reimagined with various Tom Hiddleston characters.

You are dying of tuberculosis right before your upcoming wedding to the Lusty Vicar of Aldwinter, Will Ransome. As you lay on what could be your deathbed, the god of mischief Loki appears before you with a deal.

Word Count: 3865

Chapter Warnings: Blood and sickness, discussions of death and dying. Cursing. Loki is a snarky little shit as always. Foreshadowing. I play with Canon because it's my fic and I can do what I want. Don't like; don't read. I don't like Cora Seaborne and it shows.

A/N: Hi guys! You don't have to be completely familiar with the A Court of Thorns and Roses series to read this, I hope! I hope you like it since it's literally the most unhinged idea for a fic I ever had. Instead of using Thor characters, we're breaking open the Hiddlesverse! But for those of you who are familiar, I've already figured out so far that Reader is Feyre, Loki is Rhsyand, Will Ransome is Tamlin, and I decided Stella is Elain. Initially, Stella was gonna be Feyre but I realized Reader could easily be swapped to be in her position to make it a Reader fic. Thanks to @mochie85 for ideas about characters and the title for this! If you're familiar with the series, I've figured out who the bat boys are, but I've yet to figure out who should be Amren, Mor (my beloved), maybe Nesta (my other beloved), or maybe Lucien. If you have ideas, let me know! I'm glad you guys enjoy this wild idea as much as I do!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85

Aldwinter, England. 1884.

“I am sorry to say it, but you have consumption. And it is fatal.”

You froze in your bed. The doctor shook his head. Your heart picked up and you felt a lump in your throat- and this time it wasn’t blood to cough out.

“I know it’s bad news to hear a month from your wedding, but it’s true and you must know it, Miss Y/N,” the doctor continued.

You looked down at your shaking hands. Your jaw hung open.

“You’ll tell my parents…and Will, won’t you?” you asked.

You prayed it wasn’t so. That you weren’t losing your appetite because of sickness but something else. Any other sickness- any other! Just nerves about your engagement and wedding to the local vicar, nothing more. That you were just breathing hard from too much anxiety. You figured perhaps a bad cold as you grew weaker last week. Then Will himself was permitted to roll up his sleeves and press a cold cloth to your forehead, maybe you had influenza. But when you coughed out blood- you might as well have seen your own coffin.

The Doctor nodded.

“I’ll tell your family and the Reverend Ransome. They need to know. I’m sorry, but there is little else to do now but…settle your affairs and wait.”

You lay in that bed. The world spinning around you. Those two words- I’m dying. I’m dying, floating in you.

Good Lord, already about to die! And there was so much! What about the wedding! You were about to live here as a vicar’s wife- how could you die now?

You could hear the crying from downstairs when the doctor announced it.

Dying is quiet. Dying is lonely. Even dull. The most excitement you had was going to the living room and looking out the window. The season had changed to spring. The sun shone out more and beautiful flowers flourished. But you could not go out and smell or even pick one. Out to the countryside, and the white buildings. And the white church- where once it would be your wedding and, in a way, a second home post-marriage. Now it only stood as a reminder of the only ceremony you’d be involved in next was a funeral. When it became too much, you would move back to your bedroom. To your sickbed-your deathbed.

You laid in that bed looking up at Will as he paced about in his black sweater that afternoon.

“What is it? Is it me?” you asked.

“There’s…there’s going to be a dance tonight…” he announced.

You shrugged in your bed and then made a little laugh.

“Oh, Will! Go on and go! Dance away! Have a little fun for a while!”

“But if you should die?”

“I’m sure father will get you! Go charm all the ladies like you do in your fine suit! Dance with them! Dance with Stella, Violet, Clara- Go dance with Cora, even!” you said.

“Are…are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes! Go dance with the new widow and enjoy yourself for a night!” you encouraged.

He nodded, said his goodbyes, and then left.

Each day, you wanted to cry from watching out the window. Taking it all in- each minute getting closer to the last as your body shook with every bloody cough.

Hours became days. Days became weeks.

Oh, how little you took for granted! The beautiful sloping hills! The sound of the ocean right by the town! To never watch the flowers bloom in spring! To never watch the snow when it drifted down or complain about the summer heat. To never see another Christmas or Easter or any celebration ever again!

You saw walking by the people you got to know and love. Yes, even Mrs. Cora Seaborne- she moved in with her tiny son not long after your engagement. You could see her grey cloak and the way she turned her chin up in pride when she passed by other ladies, going about her “experiments” without a corset on. You heard her talk about her dislike of wearing them-even though you knew corsets were perfectly functional and comfortable. Did she know you didn’t have to tight lace? That you had to wear a slip beneath it? You saw women bike with them and pictures of female athletes with them. So why couldn’t she?

You took note of every teary visit from friends, family, and neighbors who heard. But not to see them- nor any of your other friends…Then oh! You wouldn’t see your closest friend! Dear Stella! To never see her smiling in her garden again! To never more help add to her collection of blue items! To count them in her little brown boxes! Her stones and pillows and flowers and spools and go over the most interesting gossip in the town with her! You took note of any personal blue items you had to be left to her after you were gone.

But you would watch her go about, waving to you. You would watch and observe anyone else passing by your town from that window for hours.

Since your diagnosis you have been left alone often. Your parents slept over at a neighbor’s house. There were visitors, but they did not stay long. The risk of infection, they said. You spent your days isolated, dressed in your nightgown and tea robe, your engagement ring glittering on your finger.

But there was one sight you were not used to seeing.

A stray black cat. No one went up to claim him as their pet. Many people shrugged it off. Some smiled at it and then walked that way.

You were not used to seeing stray cats in Aldwinter. One would think it was a common sight. There were farms and wildlife. People kept pets. Even your fiancée took his dog out to frolic around. But a stray cat wandering around? No, everyone knew to keep their pets inside. Lest they be taken by a large bird of prey or wander out into the wild for all sorts of nasty things to happen to them.

Beneath your blankets on your cushion, you couldn’t help but notice the black cat on the street. You leaned closer to the window to where your breath fogged the glass. A smaller black cat- lean but shiny in his fur. He had big green eyes and long whiskers. He looked around. He liked to go up to people and follow them. Sometimes he stared and meowed at people. He would wander away and then return. Often, he looked at you from your window.

The poor cat. It hadn’t eaten anything all day. It must have been starving.

You went over to the set that had your tea. There was a saucer full of milk. Slow but constant, you walked over to the kitchen to a bowl. You poured the milk in it. Then you walked outside.

“Here kitty-kitty,” you urged, offering the bowl. Clicking your tongue to lure the cat closer.

With a cheerful meow, the cat trotted up to you. He raised his tail straight up in friendliness. He sat down and began to lick the milk. Each little scoopful from the pink tongue that shot from his soot-colored face. But his loud purrs could not lie. You went back into the house. When you returned, you had a small plate with scraps of meat. The plate was filled up, especially since your appetite lowered with the consumption.

“I think you might be hungry too,” you said.

The cat meowed in response and began to eat the meat. Then he went up to you, rubbing against your legs and purring. Then he stretched up his front paws against your skirt. Full of fondness, he blinked slowly at you. You leaned down and found he let you pick him up. A feral cat wouldn’t let you do that-then was he an abandoned pet?

“Oh, poor little thing!” you cooed, settling him to rest over your shoulder like a baby.

He continued to purr, not struggling to get out. Then he curled up like a baby in your arms.

“You’re a sweet fellow, aren’t you? And quite handsome too!” you cooed.

You scratched the top of his head.

“I’ll make sure to feed you. Or maybe you could stay with me …” you offered.

He perked up, eyes intend on you.

“I’m not sure what Will would think of a cat staying with us- you’ll have to share with a dog. Maybe I could talk to him into it. You could live with us once we’re married…” you spoke out loud to the cat.

Then a cough rattled your body, you lifted an arm to it. Then when you lowered it, you saw blood on the sleeve.

That is…if you lived to be married at all.

You set the cat down and he hopped. Then he stood and looked at you, slowly blinking. Then, with a lifted tail, he trotted away. So much for having him in the house- but at least then it wouldn’t reek of cat excrement.

The cat did not return throughout the night or the next morning. Perhaps he was exploring the wild. But you left a bowl of milk and some meat scraps in the kitchen just in case. But the further the day went, the weaker you felt. Then you realized it was a struggle to get out of bed-your weakness tripled today. Your body burned with a fever, but you stayed beneath your blankets. You coughed out constantly into a handkerchief. And when you took it out, you saw blood in a puddle in the cloth. Your own life trickling out with every drop. You laid back down on the bed, but despite your exhaustion, you were unable to sleep. To think-this was it. You were going to die now. This was the end- and you wouldn’t be comfortable and surrounded by those you loved. You would be alone.

Dear heavens above…please…someone…anyone…help me…

Then you heard a sound.

A meow.

Turning your head up, you saw the black cat. The same one. And you kept your door shut.

“How’d you get in here?” you welcomed, though the sound came out like a wheeze.

Then you laid back down, giving into another bloody coughing fit into your handkerchief.

Then a voice- smooth, rich, and lilting and familiar spoke.

“Why, it’s just too bad, isn’t it?”

You paused. Then you began to turn your head around. You saw no soul save the black cat sitting on the floor.

“Who’s there?! Who?” you called out.

There was a flash of green light. It was so bright you squeezed your eyes shut. But when you opened, before you was a man.

A man who wore the strangest clothes you ever saw- green and black robes and pants made of leather and bits of hard gold armor around it. Even something like coat tails draped behind his legs. But you couldn’t deny he was the most beautiful man you laid eyes on- ivory skinned and raven hair that fell to his shoulders. A high forehead and cheekbones with soft blue eyes.

“Hello there, Y/N,” he greeted.

You pulled up your blankets to your chest- a man seeing you in only your nightgown? You might as well have been naked!

“Is…is this a joke?! Is someone playing tricks on me?!” you turned around. Maybe an old friend would pop out of a door and cry “surprise!” No one did.

“Oh, I may be a trickster, but it’s no joke…” he replied.

“How did you turn into a cat?”

“Being a magician and god of mischief has it’s perks,” he replied.

“A-a god?! I thought there was only one God!” you repeated incredulously.

“Well- let me introduce myself. I am Loki, God of Mischief and Prince of Asgard.”

Your grip on the blankets grew tighter. You felt yourself run cold despite your fever.

“This…this is a dream,” you dismissed.

He half-smiled.

“I may look like a ladies dream- but no, Y/N my dear- this is quite real,” he answered.

“Have…have I been praying to the wrong deity this whole time!?” you cried.

He sauntered two steps closer to you.

“I don’t usually receive prayers. But I hear yours- yours are pretty clear…” he said.

He looked down at the bloodied handkerchief in your hand. In one corner were more handkerchiefs- all full of blood.

“You are dying.”

“Never heard that before,” you scoffed.

He smiled at your words and then continued.

“You will die very soon. Maybe in a week. Maybe in a day.”

He looked down at your hand, cocking an eyebrow at the shining ring on your finger.

“And it’s far too bad the Lusty Vicar of Aldwinter will never have his bride! A perfect lady to the perfect priest for his perfect ministry in a perfect town and a perfect life.”

“What do you want from me!?” you prodded.

He tilted his head, keeping his smile.

“Is this how you speak to someone trying to help you?”

You clutched the blankets further over your nightgown.

“Help me?! You’re here for my-my-my body! I heard all the stories of pagan gods like Zeus! I know what they do to mortal women!”

He chuckled “I am a Norse deity, darling. And your vicar- this Will Ransome- is far more of a Zeus than I am.”

“What are you talking about? Whatever! It doesn’t matter- Loki, Do I have to sleep with you to save myself?”

He smirked.

“How very tempting. But no.”

“You wouldn’t make this without wanting something for yourself!” you spat.

With a flick of his wrist, he moved a chair in your room to scoot forward by your bedside.

“I am only here to help you- like I said. You know I have magic to do so. I just turned from a cat to a rather handsome bloke resembling your dear Lusty Vicar right before your eyes, hmm? Have you thought of what else I could do?”

“What can you do?” you asked.

His eyes widened as he sat down to see you, looking into your eyes. He kept his mischievous smile on his face.

“I can heal you.”

“Completely?!” you cried.

“Yes, my dear Y/N. You gave me your milk and food. So, consider it as a thank-you for your generosity.”

Though you leaned forward, you paused. These things were often too good to be true. You would not be fooled. And if he was really a fairy, like some say would wander about the forests- this would have a price. One did not enter a deal with them lightly.

“What is the price? This cannot be freely given,” you dismissed.

He nodded his head in acknowledgement of your words.

“Ah, someone who knows the way this works, I see. As if I ever doubted you. The spell, to go through and heal the person…the healed person must live with the spellcaster for one week out of the month.”

You crinkled your nose.

“Live with a man? I might as well be your whore!” You accused.

His smile never faded.

“Perhaps that’s what they’d say of you- but at least you would be a healthy whore,” he quipped back.

You felt a cough trickle your throat and you swallowed it back to ask him further.

“Where do you live?”

“In another realm, in Asgard- it’s rather like your time and place. Same old-fashioned attitudes about women. Only with much larger castles and higher buildings. But you will be safe and soundly returned to your world and wait for the next month.”

“Does it have to be every month? Could it be every year?”

“It must be every month.”

You tried to sit up. Then you felt his hands position you to sit up-leaning against the headboard. You glanced at him, seeing his features grow gentle about helping you. Then you crossed your arms and shot him with a glare. You would not lower your defenses to him easily- even if he was some kind of magical god!

“Make it three days! No- one!” you insisted.

Loki shook his head.

“It is one week. Or you can kiss your life and your precious priest goodbye.”

You took in a shuddering breath. Your own lungs weakening by the seconds, and it sounded like a wheeze.

“No one’s going to believe me! What shall Will think? What will my parents or his think?” you fretted.

“Why do you care what Will thinks-what anyone thinks! Your own thoughts should be what matters. What do you think, Y/N? It is your choice…would you like to die of consumption? Or live your life as normal and planned…and just take a little trip every month.”

You coughed again. Again, there was blood. You crumpled the handkerchief into your fist, never lowering your eyes off his.

“How will…anyone believe me? How am I going to explain this to them?” you fretted.

“You will tell them the truth…”

You lowered your hands, grabbing your blanket into a fistful.

“That I’m living with a man from another world?! Other than the one supposed to be my husband?! Go to hell, scoundrel!” you cursed.

“Such talk from a Victorian lady! Much less one betrothed to a Holy man!” Loki chuckled.

“Sounds like you've never talked to an actual woman before. Even ladies can fight back when we have to!” you argued.

“If you wish it- such a pity I offered to save your life and you couldn’t accept it. Oh, well- it is your fate and your decision…” Loki said.

He got up from the chair. A swirl of green light began to swirl, starting from his boots and going up, up- he was already beginning to fade.

You rattled. You could feel life slipping out of you. Minute by minute. Slow and painful. You would never enjoy life in its simple beauty again. You would never see your family again. You would never see your friends again.

And you would never marry Will. And he would be alone, left to mourn you for all his days.

You didn’t want to die like this.

And for Will…for Will, you would sell the clothes on your back. This was the unbridled nature of love. For Will, you would walk across hot coals. For Will, you would jump into the ocean near the town. And for Will, you would make this deal with this devil.

“Wait!” you shouted, lifting a hand to stop him.

The green swirls dropped, melting like mist in the sunshine. Loki turned to you, his head tilted and his eyes with a glint in them.

“Do the spell. Make it happen. I’ll stay with you for a week every month,” you said.

He smiled.

“Excellent.”

He walked forward. Then he opened his large, white hand.

“Give me your hands, Y/N, my dear. This might hurt for a bit,” he warned.

He returned to the chair by your side. You reached over and eagerly grabbed his hands with both of yours. He closed his eyes. Green light surrounded around and over you. It filled and surrounded your room in an emerald glow. There was a sound of roaring wind that filled your ears. Pain seared your body and you let out a shout out of instinct. It filled up your body- surging from your forehead and toes until it centralized to your lungs.

But it was only for a few seconds.

Then it stopped.

Loki was still smiling as the green light swirled down to you and faded with the pain. Taking in a breath, it was deep and free from pain. You felt no urge to cough, and your limbs did not feel weak. Your head had cleared.

When you glanced down at your hands, they each had a black mark on them- a small star. When you tried to rub them off, they remained. It wasn’t ink.

“What’s this?” you asked.

Loki folded his arms and shrugged.

“You didn’t ask! But I shall explain- a reminder of the spell and your promise. But I see that the lovely color of your face has returned! Now…can you get up?” he asked.

You found you got out of bed easily. Your belly rumbled for want of food- your appetite had returned. You breathed in deep-your lungs as normal again. When you took a glance in the mirror of your vanity, you saw that indeed your face looked as it had before you fell sick. Loki walked over to look at your reflection too, just from behind you.

“How do you feel?” Loki asked, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear.

“Like…like myself again…” you dazed, astonished at the transformation.

You turned around to see him. He was only inches away from your face. Then, just as any gentlemen, he took your hand and kissed you right on the star. You hated how flustered and giddy it made you feel.

“Wonderful. My job here is done. I shall see you in a month, Y/N darling…” Loki promised.

He became a gleam of green light and then vanished.

Like a newborn fawn, you became used to having strength in your legs. You stretched them. You got dressed in your normal clothes- a shift, corset, petticoats, bustle, and a green dress. Then got to the kitchen. You found you were hungry again. You boiled a kettle for tea and began to pick off fruit from the bowl. Then you selected a slice of bread and ate it with the fruit, as well as gulped down all your tea. Not a crumb or sip was left.

There was a knock on the door and in walked your parents. They lowered their jaws to see you sitting at the dining table with the empty platter.

“Y/N! Why aren’t you back in bed?” your father asked.

“I feel…I feel…I feel fine. I feel good,” you said.

They ran to you. Your father pressed a hand to your forehead and felt that it was cool. He stayed with you as your mother fetched the old doctor. After he examined you, his jaw dropped. He took off his glasses, polished them with his jacket, and then put them back on. He re-examined you and then turned to your parents, his face turning white with shock.

“There’s no cure for consumption. But all her symptoms. They vanished. We’ll keep an eye on her but…she is a healthy woman.”

“Surely, you gave her no medicine without telling us!” Your mother cried.

“No…none!” he said, taking off his glasses in shock.

“Oh, it’s a miracle! Please- someone fetch Reverend Ransome from his duties! He must know this!” your mother cried as she reached over and hugged you.

Your father hugged you too.

“Why- just in time for the wedding next month!” he said with a sound that was half-laugh, half-sob. But out of joy, not sadness this time.

They released their hugs and buzzed about to announce the news. The three words repeating out of all of them like excited parrots.

“It’s a miracle!”

Looking down, you saw the black stars on both of your hands. You would wait until the time was right. The time to explain the price that came with your miracle.

79 notes · View notes

anukulee · 1 year

Text

My Recommendations Masterlist

(Pt 2) (Pt 3)

My Author Recomendations

Authors

Peaceful_Pianist (Masterlist)

BirdsOfHermes (A03 Author): Her works are spicy but have plot in them always. She is amazing at making long form stories yet an amazing charecter wove through them.

Joyful Enchantress

Sserpente

michelleleewise

QueenJosieLaufeyson

ChristineBloodWrittings

ShiningLoki

Mochie85: She has perfected the one-shot stories idea. Each of her one-shots are well written and tells a story. The connecting one shots are connected in that they have a plot, but you don't have to read the others sometimes.

Lady Fluff

Loki Prompts (Tumblr): I would reccomend her one shots in particular, her Oh Funny Honey, and Rules to Midgard Dating make me cry in all of her best ways. Trust me she is worth the read!!

Quirky Turtle: Her By Hook or By Crook series is so spicy, but the first one in particular is amazing and makes me cry. Not to mention her fanfic of Reformed Villian Squad and it’s second part, Reinstallation and Clarifications makes me feel stuff.

Lokisprettygirl: Her fanfictions range from fluffy, to crying angst. Each other them so different from the other, yet always amazing. The grammer is on point!! Not to mention the story never feels rushed, something I can’t say towards some authors. Now if you are one of my non-spicy readers the one that are spicy and adult in content have a 18+ rating next to them. So watch out of them.

Just The Hiddles

Dyns33

crowkingwrites

Writing Of Our Own

randomimagines

little-diable

Fanfiction

Stay With Me: It is so short but has a plot through out, I would also recommend the author. Her short that is friends with benefits one shot were amazing. I am not sure about the darker ones because I stay away from them. Oh No: A simply text gets sent problem is that text was never supposed to be seen. Get Over Him Not Under Him: What was supposed to be friend with benfits seems to get derailed when the reader has a date with a certain avenger. Cryable Mr. Hiddleston fan fiction (Wattpad List): Covers all of his charecters and are pretty good! Beauty and The Blood (Audio): y/n wishes to find someone who doesn’t attend to use her. After many failed dates, she is guided to an app that might meet her situation. On this app she meets this seemingly perfect guy by the name of Loki, the question is he perfect or is he hiding something darker?

Torn: A new work that I just discovered and has pinning Loki, and pinning reader, honestly it just gives me the best of the angst feels!

Friendzoned: Soon after the reader and Loki met, he friendzoned her, problem is the reader has feelings for him. Only complicating things more, the question is through did Loki truly friendzone because he doesn’t have feelings for her or is there more to it?

Please Don’t Be Afraid : After a mission gone wrong the reader loses her memories. Now being placed in the mindset of her 2012 self meaning she still thinks Loki is a monster. Problem is Loki remembers everything, as we wonder whether he will be able to win the reader over once more or if she will forever hate him.

Now and Forever: What happens when reader gets a little insecure after giving birth to her and Loki’s twins? Will she allow insecure to consume her, will Loki go with her offer, or will Loki truly show how much he loves her?

Heal Me: After reader is hurt, Loki tasks himself with her care as he thinks it was his fault. Yet along the line she finds herself falling for him, question is are they returned or not?

I'm Feeling Sick (So Won't You Take Care Of Me?): What happens when Loki gets sick with the common cold and the reader is forced to take care of him? Will unsurfaced feelings come up or is just one sided? Or perhaps is there more things to this then it appears?

I Do Love You: Reader finds Loki cheating on her, the question is that all to the story?

Crumpled Words: Loki has a habit of writing notes, about his desired love, before stuffing them under his mattress. The question is whether these words can remain hidden forever?

All I Wanted: All Loki wanted was to be accepted, but what happens when he gets that? Most of all how does the reader feel about it?

Pairing: What happens when the reader sees someone getting close to Loki? Is he cheating on them, or is there perhaps more to this situation then it appears?

Sweet Tooth: Reader has never been what society sees as normal, due to her weight. Something she has grown far used to, yet over time has learned to ignore. Problem is she has a sweet tooth, but what happens when someone chooses to make a comment about it? Will reader let it get to her or will Loki stop it before it gets bad?

You’re Afraid: Lately Loki has been avoiding the reader, almost as if he was hiding something. Question is whether the reader can find out what it is before it is too late.

Bound To You: Reader is tired of having to hide her relationship with Loki, but Loki doesn’t seem to feel the same, is that all there is or is there more?

Little Star (Jotun Loki): Reader only has a one sided crush on Loki, with how small she is compared to other, Loki could never want her right?

The Prince and the Servant (Jotun Loki): A angst filled fairy tale about Loki and his little servant, with a lingering question of whether or not their feelings are returned.

Secret Garden: What happens when a simple flower crown results in Loki avoiding the reader is that all there is, or is there more to it?

Not a Delicate Flower (Sequel): What happens six months after Secret Garden when the reader wants more? Is Loki willing to give it to her or will she remain a delicate flower forever?

All Wet: Every time the reader and Loki try to have intimate relationships, she insists it must be done in the dark causing Loki to wonder why? As we wonder whether this will continue or if Loki will find out why, but will it be too late when he does?

Practice Makes Perfect: The reader is trying to seduce Loki yet every time she does it ends in failure? The question is it just because of a certain aspect of her or is there more to it?

More Important: What happens when Loki forgets something important, as the question of whether his his wife or his kingdom is more important?

Clueless: Loki has a habit of calling reader by endearing pet names as a game, but the question is how long will this game continue until feelings start to come out?

I Hate You Captain Marvel: What happens when it looks like Loki and Captain Marvel are getting to close for the reader’s liking. When he talks about her all the time, is he losing feelings for the reader or is there more to it?

Misunderstandings: They are just friends with benefits right?

The Hobby (Multiple Chapters): What happens when an originally friends with benefits relationship turns serious?

Christmas Delivery (pt 1) (pt2): What happens when a simple mission involving delivering an item includes the the god of mischief? The one who has recently been flirting with the reader, will she find out whether his feelings are real or are they apart of his usual mischief?

The Unthinkable Offer (Multiple Chapters) : What happens when Loki is expected to marry the last person he expected, all in order to have his freedom? Will it be a loveless marriage or will Loki fall in love along the way?

A Gift For Loki (Multiple Chapters): What happens when Loki is betrothed to Sigyn and is expect to give up his pleasure centered life style? Not to mention a deal he made with his mother to try and see if he falls for Sigyn all while having to keep certain things out of the way. Will Loki end up falling for Sigyn like Frigga expects or will their be a broken engagement with Loki continuing on with his pleasure centered ways?

Enchanting: A mostly text centered relationship comes to a climax during a certain night when Loki sees something he never wanted to see. Question is whether he will do anything about it or if he and the agent will forever remain just friends?

The Right Partner: What happens when the reader finally gets the right partner when her ex breaks up with her? Especially when that right partner is Loki?

Heaven Sent: A simple game of pickup lines turned confession? Read more to find out…

To Be Loved: What happens when Loki is already in love with his fake relationship, are his feeling returned or is it just fake?

The Misunderstanding (pt 1)/(pt 2) (pt 3) (pt4) : What happens when Jotun Loki finds out about the readers feeling? Will he return them or is it all a misunderstanding?

No Touchies: Jotun Loki and reader were supposed to be no touchies yet what happens when they become touchies?

Joy Division: They have only been seeing each other for a little bit, but what happens when Loki isn’t the only one y/n cheers for? Is it just a misunderstanding or is there more to it?!?!

Blind Disasters: How many terrible blind dates can y/n go on before Loki says something? Or will his true feelings remain hidden?

Raining Cats and Dogs: Y/n pets may talk, but that’s all they are right talking pets? Or perhaps there maybe more to this story then at first glance.

Shapeshifting: When someone comes to see y/n about changing for his lover, something feels familiar to them but why? They have never seen this man before right?

Green: Loki isn’t jealous whatsoever, so why does he feel so bad when he sees you with someone that is not him?

Under His Influence (Series): What happens when Loki finds himself hiding out with a thirty year old woman with little to no confidence, can Loki change that? Or will they merely remain strangers who live together, and what happens after that?

Pairing: They are only fake for their mission right?!

A Calm In The Storm: It was only one night between friends right, but what happens when a storm changes everything?

To Have And To Hold (Series): All they were friends with benefits turned relationship, but what happens when a unexpected pregnancy changes everything?

It’s Very Ambiguous: A ball, a fight between brothers, a love triangle, and a newly discovered soulmate mark. The question is that all there is to the story of perhaps there maybe more to it all then it seems.

Midsummer Pining: Ever since this season has started Loki has been avoiding y/n. Why is that, or perhaps it is just y/n pinning or is it?

Place In Love: Reader is afraid, she will be too clingy, but is she truly too clique?

Boyfriend: Loki hates the usage of boyfriend, but what happens when this causes miscommunications between him, and his love.

Is that?: Loki is dead isn’t he, or at least that’s what y/n thought.

Can I Have The McOrgasm Please: What happens when Loki finds out that maybe Sylvie isn’t the one for him 😏.

Spring Heat: Loki’s heat is the worst time of the year, but will that be the same this year, now that he is married?

Deliriously Happy: Loki has yet to consummate his marriage to his virgin bride and that can only mean he hates her or does he?

Rain and Fire: It’s just a simple mission that happens to take place on a stormy night, nothing romantic about that right 💘?

Sway with Me: What happens when you are feeling insecure, but are dating a god?

Insufferable: She thinks Loki is insufferable, and he thinks the same right?

The Tavern Prince (Hal): It’s merely an arrange marriage and besides Hal hates her doesn’t he?

Half Agony and Half Hope (Thomas Sharpe): What happens when Thomas reveals his past to his newly fiancé after a family visit? Will she break up with him or perhaps will she stay with him despite his past as they move forward together?

Jól Never Be Alone

Just The Way You Are

Just Another Memory (Oakley): With the end of college fastly approaching y/n is afraid she will soon become just another memory to her long term best friend and crush. Leaving one to wonder if that is all she will ever be or if their is perhaps more to it.

Should We Tell Them (Magnus)?: They are mainly friends with benefits who date, as they seek pleasure in their homes or are they? Is there more to this relationship then first meets the eye?

Jigsaw: What happens when y/n begins to avoid Sherlock because of her growing feelings? Will Sherlock take it lying down or will he do something? Not to mention who has been gifted y/n orange tulips and does it have something to do with Sherlock?

If Only You Would Know: y/n and Sherlock have been tip-toeing around their feelings of each other, and what happens when Enola grows tired of it?

Faye-Fics (Masterlist)

Mr. Tom Felton

Mr. Tom Felton and characters

One Shots

Insecurities: What happens when Julian gets insecure around his relationship with y/n, especially seeing how popular she is?

Feelings Revealed: How long can Julian keep his feelings hidden for y/n, especially after H.R makes a comment about it?

But He Doesn’t Like Me: At most he tolerates her, preferring the company of her best friend Caitlyn over her. This would be fine if y/n didn’t have ever growing feelings for him. Thus leading to her problem that Julian Albert doesn’t have the same feelings for her as she does for him, or does he?

Aemond’s Crown Jewel: While Aemond may be one of the better men to marry too, he doesn’t love his wife, right?

Aemond In Love (Headcanon): What would it be like if Aemond fell in love with you?

Labyrinth: She is merely his sister’s maid isn’t she?

Audios

Cillian Murphy Audios Masterlist

@smolvenger @lokisbirdofhermes @lokisgoodgirl @lokisprettygirl @lokiprompts @muddyorbsblr @mcufan72 @mochie85 @five-miles-over @the--sad--hatter @simplyholl @chantsdemarins @lokiislowkeyhot @lokiburdenedwithgloriouspurpose @lokibug @villainousshakespeare @evelyn-kingsley @wheredafandomat @sailorholly @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @michelleleewise @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @smolvenger @sailorholly @evelyn-kingsley @lokischambermaid @ashereads @immyowndefender @daemontargaryenwhore @aesonmae @peacefulpianist @kaycrowley @littledark11 @jokerflecker

104 notes · View notes

shiningshenanigans · 5 months

Text

When Sacrifice No Longer Feels Loving: Raw, Messy, Emotional Thoughts on Loki Season 2

It’s been a little over two weeks since the season 2 finale of Loki came out, and although it’s been pretty much all I’ve been able to think about lately, I haven’t really been able to put my thoughts into words. And I have a lot of thoughts. I need to get them out of my system, and I’ve tried to write them down on multiple occasions, but every time I do, they keep getting stuck on the way out.

So, I’ve decided to do something different. Rather than trying to analyze the series critically, I’m going to just start writing about how it made me feel, and see where it takes me. I’m not really sure what’s going on in my heart and mind as I reflect on this story, but I have a vague idea of the truth that it’s tapping into. Fair warning: these thoughts are going to get very Christian-y and preachy, so if the gospel is not your thing, I don’t know how much sense this post will make. But, if you’ve been having a similar experience with the season and care to read, I hope that you find some encouragement and truth in these messy, emotionally honest thoughts!

When I try to sum up how I feel about season 2 as a whole, the only word that really comes to mind is “upset.” I’m just upset about it. The morning after the finale aired, I woke up with a deep, hollow pit of sadness in my stomach. I broke down crying a couple of times over the next few days just thinking about certain scenes in episodes 5 and 6, and I couldn’t rewatch the finale for almost a week.

Is it weird to feel this kind of grief over something as simple as a TV show? Yeah, probably. But I think that’s kind of the point. I’d been looking forward to the release of this season for two years. Without getting too personal, I’ve recently been through one of the hardest years of my life. Just this year, I’ve gone to two funerals for people that I grew up with, been in a car crash, faced rejection in a relationship that I had grown emotionally attached to, and mourned with my community as we experienced one of the most tragic shootings in our country's history. The release of Loki season 2 had become a little bright spot in my 2023; something to look forward to in all the madness.

When the first season came out, I remember being overcome by how good it was. It was wacky, and sweet, and funny, and sad, and redemptive all at once. Even in its darkest moments, there seemed to be a thread of hope that ran through the series from beginning to end. Over the years it had become a comfort show, a beautiful piece of art that offered me encouragement when I needed a pick-me-up. Because if a comic book super villain with a long history of screwing his life up can change his ways, make new friends, fall in love, find meaningful work, stand up to his oppressors, and ultimately write his own destiny, then gosh darnit, so can I.

My roommate and I invited our friends over, every Thursday night for six weeks, to watch the new episodes as they premiered. Our watch parties started off full of excitement and anticipation. I even made key lime pie for us the first couple of times, which was a big hit. But as the weeks wore on, and the episodes started to spiral deeper into tragedy, our post-watch conversations became more full of questions and complaints than anything. When the credits rolled on the finale, we sat in an almost mournful silence, watching the screen, waiting with baited breath to see if there would be a post-credits scene. There wasn’t one. You could almost feel a sense of dread fall over the room. That’s it. That’s all they’re going to give us. That’s how they’ve decided to end the story.

I think the first words that were uttered when the Disney Plus screen finally popped up were, “I hate Marvel,” before we all began to voice how we felt.

I can honestly say this has been one of the weirdest, strongest emotional reactions to a piece of media that I’ve ever had. It’s genuinely felt like I’ve been going through the five stages of grief over this show, but the grief isn’t just stemming from the inherent sadness of the story. I’m also grieving the show itself; what it’s become, how it was handled by the people it was entrusted to, and the knowledge that there will likely not be another season to redeem it. I feel angry, unseen and unloved by the writers who set up everything over the course of six episodes to ensure that the finale was as heartbreaking as possible.

At the same time, however, I can’t say that I hated it. A part of me knows that the reason it’s affecting me so deeply is because it’s so well-made. Art doesn’t grip you this much unless it’s objectively good. There are legitimate critiques of the story/filmmaking that I could make and a lot of people already have. The temptation to scoff and say “Michael Waldron wouldn’t have done it this way” and turn all my excitement towards Secret Wars is very strong, but that just seems like misplacing my hope. Underneath all the sadness and the frustration, there’s also a layer of confusion. Am I supposed to be feeling this way? Is this what the writers of this show wanted me to feel all along? And if so, why? What are they trying to say through this story?

I don’t normally mind stories with tragic endings, so long as I can understand the purpose behind them. I remember feeling similarly unsettled when I finished the first season of Arcane, wondering what the point of it all was. But after a little bit of analysis and reflection, I could see how the tragedy was fitting; how the characters choices had led to the ending and the cautionary tale it was trying to tell me. Even in the tragedy, it was still good. I’ve also learned to love the grief that comes with watching a character make a heroic sacrifice for those he loves. I think of Tony Stark in Avengers: Endgame, Janner in The Wingfeather Saga, or Stoick in How To Train Your Dragon 2. All these deaths are heartbreaking and painful to watch, but there’s a certain beauty to them too, and you can feel the goodness and love in their sacrifices.

This one is different, though. Something about this one feels wrong. Something about this one feels deeply, inherently, not good. And analysis is only making it worse.

I’m having a really hard time seeing the beauty in the sacrifice that Loki makes at the end of season 2. This story wasn’t supposed to end in tragedy. It was supposed to be a reversal of tragedy. A second chance for a beloved character (one who has already sacrificed himself for love on multiple occasions) to finally receive some kind of reward instead of punishment.

To end the series the way the writers did feels almost like a stab in the back, a betrayal if you will, of all the hope and joy and restoration that the first season promised. I guess adopted children who are abandoned at birth really are destined to be alone forever, no matter how much love they have to give. I guess villains can’t find redemption, and even if they do, they will not escape eternal punishment for their sins. I guess quarrels between brothers (or lovers) can’t be resolved, and every relationship we cherish is doomed to fall apart eventually. I guess young women like me, who are strong and independent because we’ve had to be, are not worth pursuing, and we should be content with our middle-management jobs and casual friendships as if that is the peak of human existence. I guess we should embrace isolation and selfishness after all. I guess true love doesn’t really exist, and we should walk away from any semblance of it before it makes us bleed.

Bummer.

The night after we watched the finale, I drove a couple of my friends home. On the drive back, I could feel the sadness of the story aching in my gut. I thought specifically about Sylvie, and how unsatisfied I felt with where the story left her. I’ve always connected with her as a character, and I hated the way she had been sidelined throughout the season. Every week, I had tuned in hoping I would see some kind of reconciliation between her and Loki. I just wanted some kind assurance that she loved him back, that they would somehow end up together in the end. One kiss, one hug, just… one conversation, for heaven’s sake. One apology from either side. One confession of love. But six episodes and it never came. Their relationship wasn’t even addressed. It was reduced to subtext, as if it wasn’t the back bone that Michael Waldron built his original pitch off of back before 2021.

I thought about the way she shrugged and smiled when Mobius asked her what she was going to do next, and it just irked me. Why didn’t they tell us what her plans were? Why didn’t they give us some kind of clue? It seemed so obvious to me what she should do. She should make good use of her Tempad and go be with Loki. How could she just walk away, knowing everything he just sacrificed for her? Do people really think she could just… go back to her life after that, with so many things left unsaid between them? If she really does love him, how could she? How could she go through life, knowing that the truest love she’s ever experienced is lightyears away, always watching, always with her, but unable to be physically present with her in a mortal, tangible way? It sounded like such a sad, lonely fate and my heart broke for both Sylvie and Loki as I thought about it.

But then it dawned on me: wait a second… isn’t that what it’s like to be a Christian? Isn’t that the reality I’m living every day, as Christ’s bride? The weight of that realization was so heavy I almost had to pull over on the side of the road because I couldn’t breath. My savior loves me more than anything. He gave up everything for me, just like Loki did for Sylvie. I don’t even know how many rounds he went with the enemy on that cross, just to bargain for my soul. And what do I do about it? I shrug it off with a smile. I forget about it until it’s convenient. I go back to my job, my house, my car, my record store, as if every second of my life hasn’t been paid for by the blood, sweat, and tears of a God who just wants me to be ok. As if I could ever fool myself into believing a life without Him is enough for me.

As if I shouldn’t be fighting like hell to get back to Him. As if love so amazing, so divine, doesn’t demand my life, my soul, my all. Just so you know, I teared up again writing that last paragraph.

A lot of people have pointed out the parallels that can be made between Loki and Sylvie and Adam and Eve. The comparison really does work in a lot of ways. A perfect likeness, a counterpart created for a lonely man because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). One flesh, two halves of a whole. Equals, balancing and complementing each other perfectly. A couple chosen by a higher power to rule the universe with authority. There’s something edenic about that scene where they snuggle in the grass under that blanket together: a man and a woman, wrapped up in a garden of green, completely unguarded and vulnerable with each other. The man promises the woman his protection, and the woman shyly offers him her trust and thanks in return.

When they make it to the Citadel at the End of Time, their parting echoes deeply of the fall. The serpent (He Who Remains) sows seeds of distrust between them, knowing full-well that they are stronger together and could easily overpower him if they remain united. The two halves are torn apart and turn on one another. The woman, in her thirst for freedom, takes control of the situation, and the man fails in his duty to stop her. Free will is unleashed into the world, and with it comes consequence and chaos and danger.

If season 1 can be read as the journey from the garden to the fall, season 2 reads more like the journey from the fall to the cross. Chaos and confusion, spiraling slowly towards death and destruction. Constant distrust between the man and the woman, between God and his bride. An inability to reconcile, to fix what’s been broken. The citadel goes from being Eden to being Gethsemane. When every other option has been tried and all hope is lost, Loki returns to the moment of the fall and pleads with his love, over and over again, to make a different choice. But she will not stop rebelling, even though it leads to her death every time.

Unable to reason with her, Loki confronts He Who Remains to bargain for her life. But there’s no option that doesn’t end in bloodshed. Loki must either kill Sylvie, the woman he loves, and go on committing genocide in HWR’s place. Or, he must break the temporal loom and let the chaos that ensues destroy all of reality. These, according to He Who Remains, are the only two choices. So Loki makes a third choice. Instead of sacrificing others for the multiverse, he makes a total sacrifice of himself. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

It’s not lost on me how weird it is to compare Loki, a marvel super villain based off of a pagan norse god, to Jesus. But the crucifixion/ascension parallels here aren’t exactly subtle. Loki puts on a heavy crown, carries a great burden up a hill, and “dies” on a tree of all things, to save both the woman he loves and the group of friends he’s grown close with during his time at the TVA. His last words to his loved ones before he ascends are, “I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us.” When I think about the story in these parabolic terms, I’m almost overwhelmed by how much truth is woven into this mythology. And yet, something about it still feels deeply unsettling to me. There’s still a piece missing that makes it feel more like a Greek tragedy than a Jewish parable.

As they are, Loki Seasons 1 and 2 show me a reflection of the fall, the cross, and in some ways, the ascension of Jesus Christ. What they don’t show me is a picture of the resurrection. And any christian will tell you that the resurrection is the most vital part of the story (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). The series shows me sin and what it costs. They show me what is lost in sacrifice, but they don’t show me what is gained. The hero meets a fate worse then death, and is forced to remain there, alone, for all eternity. There are no tearful reunions at the tomb, no assurance that death has been defeated, no eucatastrophe. No curse reversed. God and man are forever separated, and for some reason that’s supposed to be beautiful, according to Marvel. It’s not. It’s a question mark, a gaping wound at the end of the story that offers no comfort. To live in that tension, that separation, in those three days between Christ’s death and his resurrection, is literally the most painful, most hopeless place for the human heart to dwell. But, maybe it’s a tension that we should sit in more often, so that we can appreciate the weight of what Christ did for us.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t really hate season 2 of Loki. It’s a beautifully crafted piece of art, well-written (sort of) and well-acted, with gorgeous production design and a deep, meaningful story at its core. What I hate, with every fiber of my being, is the thought that that is where the story ends. That it’s supposed to end there. That this ending is good. As a Christian, I almost can’t accept it. Everything in me screams that there has to be more resolution beyond the credits of the finale.

That, I think, is where all the pain swirling in my heart around this story is really coming from. And whether they know it or not, I think that’s where a lot of the Loki fandom’s pain is coming from right now. The gospel is so written into our DNA that it pours itself out into every mythology we try to create. We are so desperate for the reassurance that the resurrection is true, that when we get even the slightest hint that it might not be, it triggers our deepest, darkest anxieties. Nothing scares me more than the thought of being alone, separated from God, for all eternity. Not even death is scarier, or more tragic, than that. It is, by definition, hell.

So yeah. Curse you, Marvel. Curse you for telling me a story that hurts like hell, and expecting me to just be ok with it. For giving me an ending that could never, in any reality, be satisfying or conclusive, and then trying to gaslight me into believing that it is. For ensuring that I will probably end up buying a ticket for both Secret Wars and Kang Dynasty (even though I’m really tired of superhero movies) just so that I can see if I’m right, that love really does win in the end. I don’t really have any kind of expectation that the next two Avengers movies are going to give me the closure I’m looking for. But I think I know where I can find it.

As grieved as I am by the way Marvel handled this story, I’m also kind of amazed by the way its incompleteness is revealing to me the total, satisfying completeness of the gospel. Marvel can’t promise me that, at the end of time, the God of Stories will be reunited with his warring bride and live happily ever after in the presence of his inner circle. But the gospel does. And the hope that I find there is immeasurable.

#loki #loki season 2 #loki series #geeking out gracefully #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #christianity #when sacrifice no longer feels loving #eucatastrophe #ressurection

21 notes · View notes

mischiefmaker615 · 1 year

Text

Pleasure Tastes Like Pleasure

Summary: Loki manages to steal you away once more and it's getting harder and harder to deny him.. not that you have a choice in the matter.

Note: this is like bonus part to the mini series "Boyfriend" where you can find on my Masterlist

Rating: R

The familiar hand you knew to well by now found its way upon your mouth as an arm wrapped around your waist and yanked you into the next room, door slamming shut behind you.

‘’Loki stop- this is the fucking meeting room for crying out-‘’

‘’so if it were anywhere else, it would be fine? Are you to tell me you are actually becoming accustomed to our encounters love?’’ he mocked as he spun you around and shoved you back so your ass landed on the table behind you.

‘’s-stop-‘’

‘’darling, must I gag you again or are you going to be good for me this time?’’ he smirked as a hand met your chest and pushed you back so you laid down.

He had taken everything covering free will from you so far and has offered you the chance numerous times to be silent during all; today wasn’t it- following by a string of cuss words before he sighed and flicked his wrist. With a small flash before your eyes, you felt something cover your mouth and wrap firmly around your head, muffling your speech. Your hands shot up to try to remove it but he was to quick and took both your wrists in one hand where he then pinned above you.

‘’ah ah ah, what would be the point then if you just took it out?’’ he smirked and you at least stuck out your middle finger as he tsked. ‘’perhaps the reason why you are so tense lately is that you still fight the pleasure darling, or is that mortal you’re dating still continuing to be a disappointment? Did he at least give me a head start and get you wet?’’ Loki thought out loud as his hand kept your hands pinned above your head while the other glided to undo your jeans.

Your legs started kicking but his position between your legs, let alone his god-strength gave him full advantage as always by keeping you right where he wanted you. Gripping the back of your jeans, he yanked once and had them down at least to your thighs but just enough room to be able to get to your intimate area, in which he moved your panties to the side.

Your eyes gave him a pleading look for him to stop but he gave you an indifferent one as he ran a single finger through your folds and shook his head with a disappointed look. ‘’that mortal can’t even provide you with foreplay, let alone an orgasm? It’s interesting how you still choose to remain with him.’’ he tsked and you looked away with a glare.

‘’but no matter, I’ll help defuse your stress of it all soon enough darling..’’ he purred before he used the tip of his middle finger to rub gentle and slow circles on your clit.

Your back arched as your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling. By now, you were becoming accustomed to it the more Loki found you each day and this time you didn’t try to fight the pleasurable feeling considering he never let you go until you orgasmed. Loki seemed to have read your thoughts and smirked as his eyes bore into yours.

‘’don’t think what you do makes you in charge darling, even if you do what I wish for you to do, I am still in charge of when you get it. I can take as much time as I wish if I decide it, keeping you on that delicious edge but never quite enough for you to fall and when I feel you pussy begin to flutter I can always take my hand away and let it disappear where we have to start all over again. And again, and again. Is that what you wish darling?’’ he asked casually, adding his ring finger with his middle as he rubs up and down, up and down in an agonizingly slow and mocking pace.

You looked at him sharply and knew he could feel you trying to pull your arms free but with weak strength as your pleasure began to build, no matter how much you tried to deny it. his grip tightened ever so slightly where you winced and lost the glare in your expression.

‘’well darling? I took away your speech, not your hearing.’’ He smirked and you shook your head at his previous question, now trying o focus on your breathing as it began to hitch with each curl of his finger that barely ghosted into your cunt while he rubbed. ‘’good girl.’’

Loki sighed contently as he then began using his thumb to rub tight but slow circles against your clit while his two fingers then entered you, making you gasp and tighten your entrance, making him shake his head as he moved slow. ‘’relax darling, like I’ve always told you’’ he urged and you followed his instruction to prevent any pain. Not like there would be, you were practically dripping now as he slowly pumped his fingers to the knuckles and curled them when he pulled them back before reentering.

‘’your so deliciously tight darling, your practically gripping my fingers..’’ Loki chuckled as he fell through on his promise and was keeping you on that beautiful edge you were coming close to, feeling the tightness in your stomach and pelvis while your vision danced. ‘’it’s a shame darling, you really are wasting yourself on him when he can’t even do his job.’’ He sighed, almost sounding like he was talking of something casual and not even relating to sex as his fingers began to pump more deeply and his thumb began to drag in a larger circle.

‘’he takes but he doesn’t give, and leaves you.. or what is it that you Midgardians say?’’ he asked, pausing for you to answer even though you both knew you couldn’t speak as you looked at him with glassy eyes, trying to listen and not listen.

‘’oh yes, high and dry I believe it was..’’ he chuckled as he kept his slow pace and your legs began to shake, trying to prevent yourself from humping and giving him to satisfaction even though your lady parts really wanted the pleasure he was keeping from you. ‘’poor thing, you must feel so neglected don’t you darling?’’ he seemed to pout, almost talking in a baby voice as you slowly began turning your head from side to side as his pace was to agonizingly and deliciously slow where it taunted your orgasm that was practically at your door.

‘’wouldn’t it be something if someone just walked in?’’ Loki chuckled ‘’I apparently forgot to lock the door.’’

Your eyes opened wide as your cunt tightened, knowing this whole situation would turn into absolute chaos for you both but why did you feel your cunt.. pulse at the very thought? It didn’t go unnoticed by Loki as he chuckled.

‘’now isn’t that something? Are you telling me you actually want to get caught? Or perhaps I should give you your voice back so your moans alone would call them in faster..’’ he smirked as he began to pump his fingers faster and you bit down on the gag as your eyes rolled up. ‘’or, the interruption would be the very thing that would have us stop and I’d just have to start all over again when I find you next? That would really leave you all worked up for me’’ he mocked and his thumb began to rub in tight circles against your clit finally.

Loki leaned down next to you, chest to chest as your legs pressed against his sides, practically pinning his working hand there at the same time as he whispered in your ear. ‘’until your boyfriend apparently, I’m not cruel.’’

You turned your eyes to meet his, your expression in a mix of wanting to kill him and that he was right on his statement, giving your shame in your E/C orbs as they stared into his.

With a smirk by his win, he finally began to move the pace you needed, rubbing your clit in delicious circles and pumped his fingers into you, curling them close to the entrance and where your sweet spot before thrusting them back in.

your mouth fell open in a silent moan while your back arched and head fell back before your orgasm crashed over you, leaving you a pulsating mess as you shook and gripped his shoulders that he apparently had released your hands awhile ago. You released over your hands and you could hear his deep breathing as he buried his face in your chest as you both heaved before his movements slowed to help you climb down from your high.

Once your breathing had returned to normal and your grip on his became gentle, he pushed himself up and slowly slid his fingers out and proceeded to lick them clean, making your cheeks redden and eyes snap away. You bit your lip as you heard him chuckle and glanced back at him.

‘’don’t be bashful darling, pleasure tastes like pleasure.’’ He smirked before his head glanced behind him at the sound of voices passing the door and he lowered his voice with a gentle expression at you. ‘’you have your voice back darling, I look forward to our next..’’ he glanced around the room and grinned. ‘’meeting.’’ He smirked before he slipped out of the door with the door closing behind him.

#loki fanfic #loki god of mischief #loki odinson #Loki Laufeyson #loki #loki smut #loki x reader smut #loki series #lokifluff

132 notes · View notes

waterhorseyblues-ao3 · 2 years

Text

WHB’S Guide To The Loki (616) Comic Canon So You Don’t Have To Slog Through It Like I Did

The chaos, mischief and hijinks Loki gets up to in the Marvel comics run as long and complex as the Thor comics ever did, so for simplicity this starts at the Loki “rebirth” which is where Loki became more of an independent character with his own role to play in the ongoing 616 canon. I will make a separate post for “non-canon” and oneshots and generally good comic Loki content that isn’t part of this arc.

diclaimer: i am Very opinionated and also prone to hyperbolic language so i may insult a comic/arc that you like. it is important that you Deal With It and move on because i cannot and will not be swayed.

“Classic Loki” dies during the Siege (2009) arc, specifically Siege #4. I don’t recommend it as reading personally and if you’re not already reading Marvel, it’ll be confusing and boring to follow. Things to know: Loki cut a deal with Hela to have his name taken from the book of Hel. He caused some Issues and Problems that went way overboard and is killed in the battle.

BEGIN THE KID LOKI STORY:

Thor #617-#619 (2010) - Thor finds the reborn child-aged Loki in Paris using the name “Serrure” (”Lock” in Fench.). Generally recommend this for context reading and understanding Loki’s character “rebranding”

Journey into Mystery #622-645 (2011) - Sometimes referred to as Loki: Journey Into Mystery, this is the bulk of the Kid Loki storyline and spans several story arcs in the Marvel comics at the time. Heavily recommend for understanding of the rest of Loki’s character arc, as well as adorable Thor & Loki sibling stuff and Loki’s goofy little way of talking. The final issues of this storyline are necessary reading for every major Loki storyline after.

The Mighty Thor vol.2 (2011) - some of this happens in tandem to Journey into Mystery. If you’re not super into the Thor comics, this isn’t that important, but it helps inform the events of JiM while you’re reading it. There’s some good sibling stuff and Loki generally being a bit of a scamp, but there’s a lot going on that ties to other major Marvel story arcs at the time that can make this a bit confusing to read.

Fuck Exiled (2012) it doesn’t fucking matter.

Young Avengers (2013) - THE comic!!!! This is prime Kid Loki into Adult Loki content. This is where we got the contemporary Loki design from. This shits gay as hell, it’s full of friendship and drama and Loki shennanigans and I honestly cannot recommend this comic enough. If you never read another Marvel comic, read Young Avengers.

Loki: Agent of Asgard (2014) - OBVIOUSLY THIS ONE! Lots of people made the mistake of reading this on its own without understanding who Loki is in this comic. So much of Loki’s character development in this story hinges on the last issues of JiM. Read the others first THEN this, and you’ll thank me. This one has GORGEOUS art and completely re-shaped Loki’s character for the future Marvel comics. It also spans several major comic arcs at the time, so prepare for more external reading.

Avengers & X-Men: AXIS (2014) - This is a LOT to cope with if you’re not already into the comics, as it has a HUGE cast and a lot of major plots running at the same time. I honestly skimmed this just for bits of my fav characters. Loki appears on only a few, I believe #6-#8. Only read if you’re really interested in the context of the events in AoA.

Loki & Thor: Original Sin (2014) - I am holding this story arc in my hands. I am kissing it. This is PRIME fem!Loki content. This is ICONIC genderfluid Loki matrial. This is PURE fucked up dysfunctional Asgard-fam content. I love this comic series very much for it’s writing and artwork and beautiful moments and please don’t say a mean thing about it or I will cry.

More Loki content happens in Mighty Thor vol.3 (2016). I personally don’t think it’s relevant or necessary reading.

Fuck Vote Loki. Me and the homies hate Vote Loki. MCU will trick you and make you think Vote Loki might be good. It’s not.

The Infinity Quest arc doesn’t do anything useful for Loki imho. It’s one of the many comics in Loki’s current writing that feels like the writers haven’t read any of his previous arc.

Loki: Sorcerer Supreme (2017) - aka Doctor Strange #381-385. Imho the most wasted potential arc they’ve written so far. There’s like One nugget of very good Loki character content and the rest is just a huge waste of time. Would only recommend if you’re feeling comitted to reading as much of the Loki arc as you can.

Personally I think the entire Final Host arc is a complete misuse of Loki given his character development up until then and it simply doesn’t do anything for him.

Infinity Wars Prime (2018) - this is a bit of a Marmite arc. I think it’s setting up for Loki (2019) but it’s very tedious and bland and once again wastes the potential of the multiverse. Good only for ponytail Loki. It may be relevant in the future.

The War of the Realms (2019) - This has a LOT going on, but Loki’s part of this is very integral to how Loki is currently in the canon. This overlaps a little with Thor vol.5

Loki (2019) - This is.... Probably going to be relevant one day. It’s fun dialogue but honestly I truly do not care for this. It’s very slow paced and adds nothing to Loki’s character arc that AoA hadn’t already done. It’s a bit useful for understanding the way Loki has referred to himself since, but tbh... Meh.

Thor (2020) - This places Loki very much where he is Right Now in the canon and his current role. This is the point from which comics will pick up on his story arc, and also takes us back to the end of AoA.

Defenders (2022) - This picks up IMMEDIATELY after the final page of AoA. This is probably going to patch up a few of the issues I’ve had with previous story arcs, so I’m holding out! So far it is a banger.

#marvel #marvel comics #loki #comic loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #rambling #DM me for any extra info you want #i will talk your ear off about Loki

178 notes · View notes

dewdropreader · 6 months

Text

❦ ➷ get to know your fellow fanfic writers better ༊ ✧.*

I was tagged by @bebx and @loki-is-my-kink-awakening for this “get to know the writer” tag! Thank you! 😊

when did you post your first ever fanfic?

I believe in 2012-2013? I was around 13-14 years old, so around then anyway (my first one doesn’t exist online anymore as far as I know so I can’t double check.) it was the usual middle school fandom girl era lol. First for my current account was February of 2022!

first character you wrote for:

It would have been Rin Matsuoka from Free! Iwatobi Swim Club! Specifically him and Nitori, they were one of my fave ships in that series!

main character(s) you’re currently writing for:

Basically anyone from the Loki series but especially Loki and Mobius and Sylvie, not necessarily in that order or all together but some combo of them 💚

character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:

I haven’t written for OFMD but would really like to! I’ve had a lot of feels s2, no solid ideas yet but maybe something will spark some inspiration! Also Red White and Royal Blue! I haven’t gotten a chance to read the book yet but I watched the movie and got hooked and love those boys too 💕 so maybe one or both of them if the Loki series even temporarily gets it’s hooks out of me (with s2 though I’ve been as bad if not worse than before with my obsession so who knows lol)

And for within marvel the ship that got me into fanfic and got me to make this current ao3 account was Stucky so even though I only read for them and never wrote, they always have a place in my heart!

fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:

Also just Loki atm! But who knows for the future.

platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Mobius and any of the void Lokis as the best found family ever (Mobius and kid, Mobius and classic, Mobius and all of them my beloveds)

I haven’t written it recently but also wrote B-15 and Sylvie in a non romantic context and even though I think they’re also cute romantically I love them as a platonic pair and want to do more with them too! Similarly Sylvie and C-20, I wish they could have been friends if things had gone a bit differently 🥺

romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Lokius and Sylkius! Haven’t written any pure Sylki but who knows (I just like Mobius too much to not include him atm)

your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

Hurt/comfort, fluff, and hugs 😂 sounds about right to me! I like some pain and crying and working through stuff but need the hugs and comfort alongside it/after it for sure.

your current platform where you post your works

AO3 is the same as my name here!

I try to post my fics links on tumblr too but don’t always remember so ao3 is always best bet if you want to read my stuff!! 😍

snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

Right now I’m most heavily focused on a character study type fic cataloging different moments with Sylvie adapting to her McDonald’s life but specifically looking at her relationship with Jack, I think she would have such a great big sister vibe and they could learn a lot from each other 🥹

“Good job today, Sylvie,” Jack says, his lopsided smile clear even before Sylvie glances his way. He’s always got compliments and kindness at the ready, and he’s young and gentle enough that they’re always believable.

“Thanks, Jack,” she feels a smile curl onto her face. She still, even after knowing Loki and Mobius and B-15, feels like she doesn’t know how to have friends or family or any genuine connections at all. But Jack is the first in a long time to feel so real to her, to feel like a relationship she can stick with, with these new more permanent circumstances and her distance from the trauma of the TVA. She doesn’t remember what it’s like to be a sister, her memories of Thor long gone beyond the occasional glimmers in her dreams, let alone what being the older sister would be like, but this is what she suspects it is. A fierce protectiveness and gentle care, the ignoring of any silly flaws or naïveté because you just care about the person. That’s what she has for Jack, ever since he took her under his wing as an employee, she’s done the same for him as just a person.

“Mind if I stay here for a bit? My ma is going to be a few more minutes.”

Sylvie just smiles softly and scoots over on the wide hood of her truck, gesturing to the empty spot.

Jack nods rather sagely as he awkwardly hoists himself on to the hood of the truck, pushing himself up with his arms and then practically throwing himself on to it.

He pants softly as he adjusts to lay on his back a foot or two away from Sylvie, giving her another boyish grin. “Hey.”

“Very smooth, Jack,” Sylvie snorts.

“Your truck is huge! I’ve ridden in trucks before but yours is massive! I’m not sure how you even get up here, you’re shorter than me!” He laughs.

“My little secret, I guess,” Sylvie shrugs with a slight smile, returning her gaze to the inky sky, dotted with a trillion stars.

I’m excited to keep writing this, I’ve got some Lokius ideas in the works too but this one has been my focus for a few days!!

I’d love to see anyone do this that is interested but I’ll tag my usual group!!

@insert-witty-user-name-here @starport-seven-five @lgwilt @mirilyawrites @cha-melodius @chaos-monkeyy @waterhorseyblues-ao3 @blackbirdofasgard @dreamycloud @queen-of-meows

#loki #lokius #Sylvie #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic questions #ao3 author #get to know me #fic wip

12 notes · View notes

lokisprettygirl · 1 year

Text

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 29 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 30

Summary: You tell Loki about the night you saw your mother dying.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

"Baby wake up, you have to get ready for the audition" he brought the breakfast in his room, after what you had said to him last night he knew he had to make you open up to him somehow, he didn't even know how you had kept it all in for all these years. Looking at your face now he understood that you remembered it, that you remembered what you had shared with him. He placed the tray down on the bedside drawer so you crawled on your knees and opened your arms so he could hug you, your eyes were welled up with tears and it broke his heart.

"Dadddy" you sniffled so he immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you as tightly as he could.

"What's wrong baby? What's bothering you hmm?" He cooed in your ears but you continued to sob like a child. You were there for him everytime he felt so weak and vulnerable so he just wanted to do the same, he didn't want to do anything or say anything that would hurt you in the slightest.

"I'm sorry i yelled last night, I'm sorry" you mumbled between your cries and his grip around you tightened, he picked you up effortlessly by curling your legs around his waist and then he cradled you like a child until you stopped crying.

"It's okay baby we can scream at each other, it's not a big deal, it's bound to happen sometimes" he kissed your temples over and over again so you nodded. You didn't want to hurt him or make him upset, he was everything you had in life and now that your relationship with him had changed you didn't want to do anything that would make him love you any less.

He took you to the bathroom and made you brush your teeth then he scrubbed your back while you showered, you put on a robe and he wrapped your hair in a towel before he brought you back into the room, you didn't want to eat but he forced a few bites in, the pancakes he made were yummy.

Once your hair was dried you laid down on the bed again so he sat down at the edge, leaning himself on his elbows, his fingers scratched your scalp gently.

"I don't feel good"

"It's okay we don't have to go, it's just an audition" he assured you,

"Okay.. cuddle me?" You opened your arms again so he smiled and pulled you on top of him, you hid your face between the crook of his neck and sighed deeply.

"Do you want to talk about it baby?"

You looked up at him as he said that.

"I don't know what to say" you sat up on the bed so he mirrored your movement, he could tell this was difficult for you and he wanted to make it as easy as possible.

"You know i..that's how I felt about my past and what happened to me and I thought sharing with you would make it your problem instead of just my problem" your eyes teared up at the statement. His voice was so soft, he kept his hand curled around your neck so he could continue to caress your scalp, you felt so safe and taken care of. You didn't recognise this Loki sometimes, he had changed a little in the past few months but the change was for good, he wasn't reclusive or mean, he was trying to communicate with you and you couldn't have been more grateful.

"But every of those moments where I opened to you it just felt lighter and lighter, it may not fix everything but it would be a start and I want to help you feel the way you have made me feel, that's all" you hugged him as tightly as you could and you couldn't stop sobbing, he didn't stop you either.

"You won't send me away? Promise me you'll keep me here with you" your broken voice made his heart ache in the worst possible ways.

"I couldn't even think of that sweetheart, I'd never ever hurt you like that" he rocked you back and forth gently and allowed you to let it all out. There's no way he'd ever abandon you like that, no matter what happens you would always have him, for better or for worse "A few years ago you had a nightmare and I don't know what you saw but I lost you in your head for more than a day" you pulled away from him and stared at him as he said that. What did he mean?

"I don't understand "

"I don't either but you had..I don't know how to describe it but you had lost yourself for a while. You were acting like a child, you had become that girl I knew at the center, same voice, same mannerism, it was like the adult you had disappeared somewhere" your mouth opened in disbelief as he said that. That's probably what used to happen in the orphanage and that's why they sent you to the hospital to get treated.

"It happened only once?" You questioned him so he nodded.

"Just once"

"Were you scared?"

"I was scared of losing you"

You hugged him again as he said that.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" You sniffled, that's what people thought of you at the orphanage, that's why you barely had any friends. The crazy cult girl.

"No no no ..no baby..you're just hurt, you need to process what you have seen, you need to share darling, keeping it all bottled in is only causing you harm" He wished he was more eloquent than this, he really hoped you'd open up to him about the trauma, he didn't want you to suffer alone anymore.

"Okay daddy.. I love you"

He held you as tightly as he could, nothing mattered to him in that moment, you were his whole fucking world and he'd never allow anyone to hurt you again.

"You want to talk?" He asked you as he pulled away so you nodded "After your mother died I found you in the room all alone, you seemed okay, you said mommy went for a vacation, were you lying?" He asked you so you shook your head.

"I just hoped that it was a nightmare, whatever I saw..I forgot because I thought it was a nightmare..that's what I wanted it to be"

He placed his hands on your cheeks, his thumb continued to wipe your tears.

"What did you see? How?"

Your mommy had told you to stay hidden in the closet, she strictly warned you to not come out no matter what happens, she said to you that she was going on a vacation for a while and Brother James would come to pick her up. You didn't know why she wanted you to hide, you didn't want to hide, you wanted to go with her on the vacation, you wanted to take lolo as well.

"Mommyy please take me. Can lolo come too?" You tugged on her jeans and she wiped her tears before she bent dy down to your level.

"No pumpkin, I'm sorry but you can't come, okay? But lolo will be here, he'll take care of you I promise..now you remember what I need you to do right?" She asked you so you nodded.

"Okay go hide babygirl" she told you so you hid in the closet, she had earplugs that she put in your ears. You didn't know why so you took it out immediately once she closed the door.

Just a minute later you heard the knock on the door. It was brother James and Clint.

"Come with us, Master wants to see you" you heard one of their voice and then other one spoke

"Where's the girl?" He asked her

"She's with Loki, he's taking care of her" Clint chuckled at the response

"Well I hope he's not ravishing your little girl, she needs to remain pure for the ritual"

"Watch your mouth, that's my daughter and he treats her the same"

You heard your mommy raising her voice, you knew brother Clint was using bad words, this didn't feel right, they grabbed her arm and took her away and as you heard their footsteps fading you got out of the closet and followed them. They were all going into the woods, mommy always told you to not go in there at nights because it was dangerous then why was she going there?

You followed them but stayed hidden from their view, if mommy would have seen you she would have gotten upset. When they reached the middle of the woods you saw the burning lights and torches so you hid behind a tree.

Whatever you saw afterwards still haunted you whenever you had a nightmare about that night. They had hung her from the tree by her hands and they slowly tortured her with fire. You heard her screams for so long but you felt frozen on your spot, you couldn't even scream or do anything to protect her, you felt scared and at one point her eyes met yours. She pleaded you with her eyes for you to stay quiet while they continued to hurt her and then everything got quiet. She stopped screaming, stopped struggling, her eyes closed, she wasn't looking at you anymore. She was gone and you did nothing to save her, you could have gone back, you could have called for help, could have called lolo or brother Thor, he liked mommy but you did nothing. Nothing. You let your mommy die.

"I see her face looking at me, begging for help and I just stood there, did nothing lolo ..I did nothing" you broke into another fit of cries and he couldn't stop his own tears. He thought at least you were protected from their cruelty but how wrong was he? They had scarred you for life, gave you such mental images that he knew you'd never be able to forget in your life.

"You know she loved you right? She loved you so much, she never would have wanted you to see such a thing, and she definitely would never blame you for not helping her" That innocent child shouldn't have witnessed such a horrific crime that took away her own mother, no wonder your mind tried so hard to block the incident all these tears. He remembered the night they had killed her, him and Thor both were participating in another sex ritual at the time. The reason why he wasn't there to protect any of you, even if he would have been there he didn't think he was powerful enough to do anything.

"But why didn't I do anything lolo? Whyyyyy?" You sniffled between your words and it took everything in him to stay strong at the moment but he had to be strong for you.

"You were just a child, just a baby, you couldn't have done anything, it took me so long to build the courage to even seek for help. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry she suffered so much but it wasn't your fault"

You clutched onto him and sobbed in his arms until your tears went dry and then you fell asleep just like that. He was scared for you, he didn't want to lose you again, he couldn't even bear the thought of not having you around him. He laid against the headboard and kept stroking your back with his fingers, he truly wished he hadn't waited so long to call for help, if he was quicker, your mother would still be here, she'd have raised you properly, she trusted him to keep you safe but he didn't really do a really good job.

About an hour later when you woke up you stared at him for a while, he was relieved to see you be okay, he stroked your cheek with the back of his fingers, your face looked all puffy and swollen but he'd be lying if he said you weren't the prettiest girl he had ever laid his eyes upon. You climbed on top of his lap with your legs on either side of his waist and kissed him with utmost desperation, he responded with equal intensity. He wasn't wrong, you did feel lighter, you couldn't explain it but sharing that trauma with him made you feel as if he was there too now with you, you didn't feel scared of your own memory any longer.

"Love me daddyy pleasssee" you whispered into his ears so he sat up and laid you down underneath him as quickly as he could. You asked him to love you and not fuck you so he was going to love you the way you wanted to be loved at the moment.

"How are you feeling, little girl?" He whispered between the kisses so you cupped his cheeks and pulled him away a little,

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"For existing and then choosing to be my everything in the whole world" he smiled before he kissed you again.

"Did your mother really think I thought of you as my daughter?" You chuckled as he said that,

"I think that's what's she liked to believe"

He untied the strings of the robe and fortunately he was already shirtless so you didn't have to put much effort, you pulled him closer, you just wanted to feel all his weight on top of your body, his scent already intoxicated you but you felt as if it wasn't enough, at one point you feared even having his cock inside won't be enough, you just wanted to be submerged with in him, if obsession had a face it would definitely be yours.

Your hands sneaked under his pants and he lowered them down his legs slowly, his cock rubbed against your lips and it made you moan into his mouth.

"I miss her..alot" you mumbled as he shoved his cock inside your dripping entrance, probably wasn't the best time to mention her but you wanted to get it off your chest while the best man in the universe was making love to you. Everytime you thought of her your heart felt heavy and you just wanted to cry, that's why you never even wanted to mention her but it's not fair to him especially after what he told you about you losing your mind for a whole day, that can't be good.

Remembering her felt like the worst pain in the world but with him around you just knew you'd be okay.

His pace slowed down and he cupped your cheeks, his upper body tilted upwards so he could keep his eyes on your face

"I know baby and it's okay to miss her, you're supposed to do that, she was your mommy, you loved her and she loved you the most" your eyes teared up as he mumbled.

"Do you miss her?"

"I truly do..I'm sure she'd hate this though" he chuckled as he gestured towards his cock pumping in and out of you.

"I don't think so" you bit on your lips as you smiled, your cheeks went warm at his touch and his heart fluttered at the sight. He loved you so much it was humanly impossible for him to express it in words or actions alike. Sometimes he didn't even feel like one.

"She'd love us being together, you're the best of the best, she always knew that"

He leaned down to kiss your forehead before he picked up the pace, fast but not fast enough to make you crumble so soon, he wanted you to enjoy this feeling for a little longer.

"I love you" he whispered in your ear and it made you gasp a little, you weren't expecting it, you kind of liked that he didn't say it alot because everytime he did it always felt surreal and magical. There was no better feeling than hearing him confess his love for you "What if I get lost in my head again? I don't want that" you asked him as the thought terrified you. You never wanted him to sent you away whenever you felt like that.

"You will still have me sweet buttons, you'd never be alone again I promise..me and you for life yeah?"

You nodded desperately as he said that.

After that sweet love making he made lunch for you both and he wanted to pamper you just a bit more so he took you out for dinner and ice cream. However unlike last time, he didn't allow you to get out of his sight even for a second. He was extremely stressed about James and Clint running loose in the city, he wondered what they were up to and if Odin was the one involved in the escape then he feared that he was already close to finishing the ritual, there was only one problem. He actually didn't have a sacrifice this time so Loki couldn't really figure out what that bastard was upto.

When you two came back home you played the movie you two were watching yesterday.

"Did you think about the documentary?" You turned your head to the side to look at him as you were sitting between his legs.

"You wanna do it?" He asked you as he fed you a piece of popcorn, you thought about it for a few seconds before you nodded "Okay then we will do it" you squealed and hugged him tightly as he said that. It all came down to your happiness and he'd allow you to do whatever you wanted. Sex scenes and nude photoshoots were still off limits though.

"You think people would take it well?" You questioned.

"I don't know baby, i sure got quite a few women who don't like me very much now" he chuckled

"It's okay, they'd probably understand why you were the way you were" he shrugged as you said that. It didn't really matter to him what the world thought of him, all he cared about was one person and that was you "Besides I'm interested in Thor and Jane, maybe they should clear the misunderstanding, I feel like she still likes him"

He hummed as you said that, he always felt that he was blessed to find you, unfortunately Thor never had anyone, and he didn't even want to imagine how it was like living with their delusional mother all these years.

When you fell asleep in his arms he picked you up and took you to the bedroom.

Things seemed okay at the moment but he knew it won't last for long. It never did afterall.

"Saw them out and about, hand in hand, we need to find a new bait, there's no way she's still pure, master" Clint said to Odin and James agreed with him. All these years they had followed Odin like a puppy because he promised them a freedom from this planet and an immortal life at Asgard, the picture their master painted was too lavish and otherworldly to give up. They did all his dirty work, even went to prison for him, this time they desperately needed to finish the ritual.

Odin laughed as he heard that.

"Find another child for me" he ordered Clint so he bent down on his knees to show respect. He then turned his attention towards James.

"And you.. you bring the girl for me, pure or not, it doesn't matter. I'll make them both suffer until they're begging me to kill them"

👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿

Taglist: if I am not able to tag you please check your settings

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @huntress-artemiss @blog-the-lilly @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814

@itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki alternate universe #loki au fics #dark themes

83 notes · View notes