#my grandpa thought they were burying themselves | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bella-rose29 · 3 months

Text

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 11

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: making out to the point of hickeys and low level states of undress (don't read if you're not particularly comfortable with it, it's pretty early on and you don't really need it for the rest to make sense 👍), swearing, reader's mother (Emma) is a gem and loves teasing them, lockwood's hands (and ring), I have no idea what came over me to make me write this (I was probably thinking about his hands let's be real)

series masterlist

“I just don’t understand how they never gave themselves away,” Y/n said while she and Anthony got ready for bed.

He was in the bathroom, so she’d had to raise her voice a little in order to be heard. When he didn’t respond immediately, she frowned at the closed door. “Anthony? You alright?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m alright, darling.” She heard shuffling and then the click of the door as it opened, and he stepped out, dressed in his pyjamas.

“Still can’t believe you have matching sets of grandpa pyjamas,” she snorted, moving over to the bathroom.

“You love my matching sets of grandpa pyjamas,” he called as she started brushing her teeth. “And as for how they never gave themselves away, I imagine they were all waiting for the moment they could finally breathe again. Your mother especially, did you see how tightly she hugged me earlier? I thought she might crush my ribs.”

“You’re so dramatic, Ant,” Y/n replied after spitting out the toothpaste. She washed her mouth out, flicked the light off in the bathroom, and headed for the bed. Anthony was already sat on his side, the covers pulled back for her to get in, and she curled up next to him. His arm automatically came around her body, fingers burying in the fabric of her (his) top.

“You love that too,” he said, pressing a kiss to her head. She hummed, burying her face in his chest and swinging her legs over his. The afternoon had been peaceful after Steph and Linda had finally left (although not without a lot of pointing fingers, empty threats, and slammed doors), with Y/n’s family asking questions about their relationship and wanting the real answers this time, and her father had received a call saying that the roads would be clear in the next day or so, and there was a limited train service starting up not too long after that. The storm had blown over faster than people had anticipated, but with the limited technology they had for weather readings, anybody’s guess could be the official report. They had booked tickets on the first train back in four days time, and Y/n knew that both her and Anthony were looking forward to getting back to Portland Row.

“You know,” she started, feeling her eyes start to close when he started threading his fingers through her hair. His other hand was on her thigh, just above her knee. “We should probably think about what we’re gonna do when we get back. About the whole ‘we don’t hate each other now and we’re actually dating’ thing.”

“Oh, that’s a good point. Maybe we just… don’t say anything, like your family? And see how long it takes for them to bring it up?”

“Ant, why would we do that?”

“Because it’s funny?” It was a rhetorical question, and she could feel him smiling from the way his jaw shifted over her head. His fingers hadn’t left her hair, and the hand on her thigh had edged upwards slightly while they’d been talking.

“I suppose it would be quite funny, wouldn’t it?” she mused, nudging her leg further into his grip subconsciously. He hadn’t taken off the ring he always wore, and it was cold against her skin.

“See, I’m winning you over,” he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

“You missed,” she murmured, sitting up a little and opening her eyes.

“Missed?”

“Yeah.” She took his face in her hands, nudging her nose against his before kissing him. When she pulled back after a few seconds he automatically followed her, eyes still closed while he searched for her lips again. “Anthony,” she breathed, feeling his breath fan over her face. He surged forward, his grip on her thigh tightening a little while the hand that had been in her hair slid down and cupped her cheek as he kissed her. She brought her hand to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his pyjama shirt and gasping when he deepened the kiss, and she thought she might pass out from how gentle yet desperate he was. She could feel it, how he was holding back and taking it slow, but the fire that burned in her needed more, making her shift in his lap so she was straddling his hips, and if she could take the sound he made when she did so and bottle it up to keep forever, she would.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispered between kisses, tilting his head slightly to press his mouth to her cheek, and then her jaw, and then her neck.

“I hope not,” she replied, burying her hands in his hair when he kissed a spot on her neck that made her feel like she was in heaven. “I quite like having you around, actually.”

“Yeah?” He made his way back up her neck, his hand hot and searing where it sat on her thigh. She met his eyes, the half-closed lids and blown pupils combined with his swollen lips making the fire burn hotter, and kissed him sweetly.

“Yeah.” His hair was a mess, but he’d never looked more beautiful than in this moment, the golden glow of the bedside lamp highlighting his features and casting long shadows at the same time, and she threaded her fingers through the mop of hair that was starting to stick to his forehead. “Just promise me something?”

“Anything,” he said, not waiting for her to finish. She thought she could live on the way he was looking at her, like she was the only thing he had ever wanted and he needed her to breathe.

“Stay alive for me? When we get back? You can’t keep- you can’t keep being so reckless with your- your life. Anthony.” He’d trailed the hand that had rested on her cheek down her side, and had gripped her hips with both hands, his fingers curling into the fabric of the shirt she was wearing and bunching it up slightly.

“Sorry, darling.” She supposed she could forgive him when his voice was so low and hoarse, and his fingers were creeping under the top to stroke her skin. “I promise I’ll live for you.” The next kiss burned, filled with the weight of what he’d just sworn, and it was only when they couldn’t hold their breath for any longer that they finally pulled away for air. “I promise,” he whispered into her skin, dragging her closer by his grip on her waist. “I promise.” His hand was drifting upwards slowly, the cold metal of his ring a stark contrast to the heat of their bodies, and she knew he was waiting for her to tell him it was alright. His lips had barely left hers, and when she took her hands out of his hair to start undoing the buttons on his shirt she felt his breath hitch.

“This okay?” she asked, smiling when he nodded eagerly, leaning back in for another kiss. He was drunk on her, she was sure, but she wasn’t exactly sober herself. Eventually he decided she was moving too slowly, taking the bottom of his top into his own hands and doing it himself. The next few minutes were frantic, Anthony’s shirt discarded on the floor by the bed and hers on the way to joining it, hands travelling over skin in an attempt to know every inch of each other. When he lifted her up and laid her on her back, settling between her legs while he braced himself on one arm and held her with the other, she knew she was doomed.

~~~

The next morning, Emma was on tea duty.

She and Ben took turns making teas for the family in the morning, and as she traipsed upstairs with a full tray of mugs (after depositing two in her parents’ bedroom downstairs) she yawned, hoping that everyone was at least a little bit awake so that she could go back to bed and read her book. John was first, bleary-eyed and scratching his side like a monkey, and he took his tea with a very sleepy “Mornin’ Mum”, the door closing in her face as soon as he had a grip on the handle of the mug. Then was Sam and Will, who were being made to share, and as she had expected Will was the opposite of John, wide awake and already dressed, reading in bed with the small lamp on so that he didn’t wake Sam. “Thanks, Mum,” he’d smiled, planting a kiss on her cheek and kicking the door shut after taking his and Sam’s teas. Tom was in the library with his colouring (she had to stop and put down the plastic mat so that he didn’t accidentally colour the furniture), and he barely acknowledged her presence when she left the mug on the table nearby and told him to be careful. Olivia wasn’t awake, so Emma left the mug on her bedside table and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead before creeping back out and moving on to the last room before her own.

A soft knock was normally enough to alert Y/n, telling her that the teas were ready, but when after roughly thirty seconds nobody appeared at the door, Emma frowned, balanced the tray on her hip, and gently pushed open the door. “Oh,” she whispered to herself upon seeing her eldest daughter and Anthony curled up in bed together, both sound asleep.

She’d figured that the two of them weren’t actually dating after they’d first arrived, although at the time she’d thought it was more that they were in a rough patch and were attempting to hide it. They’d argued over who was taking the suitcase in, for crying out loud! But then Anthony had gone and comforted her after Steph had made comments that forced Y/n upstairs, and Emma had been confused again. When Olivia had been helping her get dinner ready that first night, she’d put forward the idea that maybe they weren’t together, and Y/n just felt that she couldn’t turn up without a boyfriend to a huge gathering where everybody thought she was in a relationship. Then things had started making sense, like the way Y/n had looked stiff in his arms for the first few days, or how she would glare at Anthony instead of gazing lovingly at him like Emma knew she herself did with Ben.

At some point something had changed, though, because now they were apparently actually together. She, along with everyone else, had spent the afternoon yesterday questioning the young couple on pretty much everything, including why the hell they hated each other in the first place. Anthony had gone bright red, apologising profusely for his behaviour, and then Y/n had interrupted and said that she should be the one apologising, and then the pair of them had traded such love-struck looks that it made even Emma want to throw up a little. She was planning on getting the photo albums out today, since she had been so scared of revealing that she knew the truth before that she hadn’t fully settled in to the role of Embarrassing Mother. She’d wanted Y/n to feel that she could come forward in her own time, and the situation was sticky enough as it was with Steph and Linda (she frowned at the memory of how poorly her sister and niece had acted) making comments and embarrassing Y/n that Emma had taken a step back. Now, however, there was no hiding. Anthony would be seeing all of the photos of Y/n as a baby, and that was that.

She would have a field day at breakfast, too, if her assumptions were correct.

From what she could tell as she put the cups of tea on the bedside table and had a quick look around the room, neither Anthony nor Y/n were wearing tops, and in the dim light of the room she could tell that there were definitely marks on both of their necks. She smiled to herself, pressing a kiss to Y/n’s shoulder, and tiptoed out of the room.

~~~

When Anthony woke up, the first thing he thought was how comfortable he was.

He opened his eyes, rubbing lazily to try and clear away the last remnants of sleep, and he realised that Y/n was lying with her back to him and he had wrapped an arm around her waist in an effort to meld their bodies into one. Their legs were tangled together under the duvet, his pyjama-clad ones mixed with her short-wearing ones, and it was no wonder he hadn’t been able to breath too well when he’d first woken up, because his face had been buried in her neck.

Her neck.

His eyes widened as he took in the state of her skin, littered in small marks (and one or two larger ones), and he knew that he would most likely be murdered when she woke up. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth at the memory of last night, though, and all the kisses they had shared. They hadn’t gone much further than that, both deciding it was far too early and far too risky in a house that was shared by most of her immediate family, but Anthony could have died a happy man after that.

He wouldn’t, of course, because he’d promised her last night that he would live.

He took note then of the two mugs of steaming tea on the bedside table, and realised that someone must have come in and placed them there not too long ago. Then he realised that whoever it had been had probably seen the hickeys on Y/n’s neck. “Shit,” he mumbled, closing his eyes briefly in an attempt to gather strength. It would be fine. Maybe they hadn’t been able to see clearly in the darkness of the room? But then again some of them were pretty large, and there wasn’t much chance of them being missed. Y/n was going to kill him.

She was waking up now, he could tell from the way her breathing changed and her body shifted, and she stretched out her legs and twisted in his arms to face him. “Good morning, darling.”

“Mornin’ Schmoopie.”

“I thought that name was banned?”

“Banned for you. I can use it.”

“Ah, I see.” He smiled into her forehead, pressing his lips to the skin in tiny kisses. “Did you sleep alright?” She hummed her assent, eyes still closed while she nestled further into him. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Did you?”

“Yeah. Best sleep I’ve had for a while.” It had felt like he’d blinked and gone from the after-effects of last night to waking up with her in his arms this morning.

“That’s good. Can I smell tea?”

“Yes, although I don’t know who it was that brought it in; I was still asleep.”

“Probably Mum,” she said, groaning and sitting up. Anthony watched her for a moment, small smile on his face as he took in her sleepy expression, then followed suit. He went to say something, but the movement of his body sitting up had pulled the duvet away and down the bed, and all thoughts went out of his head. “Shit, it’s cold in here,” Y/n hissed, putting down the mug she’d just picked up in favour of wrapping the blankets back around her torso. She paused when she realised Anthony had frozen and gone red, and frowned at the face he was making. “Are you… alright? You look a bit… I dunno. Weird.”

“What? Oh, I’m…” he swallowed thickly and met her eyes, immediately looking away again and studying the wall opposite the bed. “I’m fine.”

“Okay… I’ll pass your tea over if you want it?”

“Thank you.” He still wasn’t looking at her, although he did remove his gaze from the wall to ensure he held the mug correctly, and a slightly awkward pause followed.

“You didn’t put your top back on last night.” He heard her choke on her tea and pressed his hand over his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean- I just- you-” he sighed, giving up on coming up with an excuse that would explain his previous statement.

“Of course I didn’t put it back on, I was way too warm,” she said once she’d recovered. “Wait. Were you staring at my chest?” When he didn’t answer and instead kept his gaze fixed on the tea he held she let out a laugh. “You didn’t seem bothered last night by me not wearing a top.” Now it was his turn to choke, and he had to set down his mug before he spilled the liquid. When he finally turned to look at her she had a smug grin on her face, sipping her tea while she watched him with amusement dancing in her eyes.

“That- that was different!”

“Different how?”

“I- you- it just was!” He wished the ground would swallow him up. Y/n snorted, taking a larger gulp of tea.

“I’m teasing, Anthony. You don’t have to look so terrified.” He didn’t think she would ever let him live this down. He had just taken his first drink of tea when he heard her curse softly. “Ant?”

“Yeah?” He looked over at her, brows drawing together. “What is it?” She bit her lip, eyes focused on something below his face. “Y/n?”

“You, uh… you’ve got…” she gestured vaguely to his neck, hesitating a moment before touching a finger to the skin just above his collarbone. It hit him, then, what she was referring to.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you leave marks on my neck last night?”

“… yeah?”

“Well we’re in deep shit.”

“… why?”

“I… might have done the same…” he trailed off, his voice growing quieter with every word, and she could only stare at him.

“Anthony.”

“Hmm?”

“Anthony. Please tell me you’re joking.” He didn’t say anything, instead taking another sip of his tea. “Anthony, if it was Mum that came in and did tea this morning then we are screwed because there is no way she didn’t see. Anthony answer me.”

“I’m not joking, sorry.” He couldn’t help but smile at her exasperated groan that followed, and he opened his mouth to speak again. “Although you didn’t seem bothered by me kissing your neck last night,” he said, using her earlier words against her. This time it was his turn to be smug, and he laughed when she lightly slapped his chest. “What? You rather enjoyed it from what I remember.”

“Your memory is wrong,” she grumbled, finishing off her tea.

“I don’t think it is, darling, but whatever you say.”

~~~

“Good morning love birds! Did you two sleep alright?” Emma chirped when Anthony and Y/n walked into the kitchen. She noted the slight flushed look to both of them (particularly Anthony who had gone a wonderful shade of pink that she didn’t think she’d seen before), and then the poor attempts at covering up the marks that decorated their necks.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you.” Y/n looked like a deer in headlights, sitting down on a bar stool and smiling when her father placed a plate of food in front of her. “Thanks,” she muttered, picking up a fork and digging in. Anthony was apparently dealing with everything a lot better than Y/n, already engaged in conversation with John and Sam about something while he entertained Tom at the same time. Emma was glad that he was here, especially given how stressful Steph and Linda were, and she could tell that her eldest daughter was far better off with him in her life. He really cared about her, most likely better than Emma ever had, and while it stung to think that he was doing the job that she should have done, she was happy that Y/n had someone that she lived with to rely on.

“Are you sure, dear? You look quite tired, I don’t imagine you did much sleeping.” She did feel a little bit of remorse at her teasing, but it was too funny watching Y/n squirm in embarrassment while she tried to come up with something to say. Even Anthony was blushing now from his place on Y/n’s right. Besides, this was her first experience with being the Embarrassing Mother, and if she needed to she would explain herself to her daughter later.

“Did you do tea rounds this morning?” Y/n blurted instead, her brow furrowing.

“I did… where is this going?”

“Oh, no reason. It’s fine,” she said, entirely unconvincingly.

“Right, well eat up. Anthony, I’m showing you the photo albums after breakfast!”

“Mum, please don’t, I can’t take any more of this,” pleaded Y/n, but Emma just chuckled.

“I just want him to see some of the previous Christmases we’ve had!”

“Personally,” Anthony chimed in, “I would love to see the photo albums, Emma. It sounds like a wonderful way to spend the morning.” His grin could only be described as shit-eating, and Emma loved it.

She loved it even more when Y/n groaned and held her head in her hands.

~~~

“And here- what was happening here? Oh yes, she’d managed to get her head stuck in the railings of the bannister, only three years old!”

“So you took a picture before helping your three year old daughter out of the bannisters?” Y/n asked her mother incredulously, not enjoying the way Anthony was studying every single photo of her as a baby. They had already been here for roughly forty minutes, and they weren’t even a third of the way through the album.

“Well you don’t look too bothered, darling. In fact, you look like you’re having a whale of a time, look how big that smile is!”

“Shut up,” she mumbled, cuddling closer into his side. His laughter warmed her, and suddenly she didn’t mind so much that he was being promised copies of some of these photos. She knew that her mother knew about the marks on both of their necks, too, her suspicions confirmed after the whole fiasco at breakfast (there had been many more innuendos and exaggerated winks), but she didn’t mind that too much either. How could she, when Anthony was burning brighter than the sun right now, with his smile that lit up every room he walked into (or even walked past) and his easy charm? How could she be upset when he was sat so close to her, holding her to him so gently yet so tightly, as though he were afraid that at any moment she might disappear?

No, she was happy. Not about the current photo of her with cake smushed all over her face and outfit at her friend’s 4th birthday party, but generally, she was happy. Steph and Linda were gone, Anthony was here, and in a few days they would be back home with Lucy, and George, and Holly too when she came over.

For the first time in years, she was truly happy. And she could owe it all to Anthony Lockwood.

part 12 (final part)

Tag list: @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @bobbys-not-that-small, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @lady-ashfade, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @magicandrosewaters, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @reggiepeterss, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whistle1whistle, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12, @zoom1374, @asyouwish-fromcabin3, @magicandrosewaters, @bobbys-not-that-small, @neewtmas (sticking you on just in case my lovely <3)

I don't think I'm missing anyone but there are so many people that I honestly can't say for sure, so if you want to be added to the tag list for the final part (and maybe... other... special posts... that might be written in the future... 👀), then let me know! <3

#lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #lockwood x reader #deck the halls (and not your partner)#enemies to lovers #fake dating #christmas

128 notes · View notes

twilightmalachite · 8 months

Text

ABYSS - The Ocean of ■ That Drips Downwards 9

Author: Akira

Characters: Kanata, Madara

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Mikejima, what color is this? Red? Blue? Yellow?"

Season: Winter

Location: Field of Flowers

Reminiscence. A short distance from The Abode of God, at an industrial garbage heap at the mountain’s edge…

Madara: Traaansform!

Kanata: There it is~, Mikejima’s transformation! ♪

Again, again ♪ This time, do the transformation where you move your hands in a circle! ♪

Madara: How many times are you gonna make me do that? You sure are excited, huuuh, God…?

Kanata: Because this made me happy~♪

Thank you, Mikejima. For preparing something so beautiful for Kanata’s sake.

Madara: If you like it, then it was worth all the hard work!

You were aaalways sayin’ you wanted to see the outside world, God. All you get to see are pebbles and salt water, so you wanted to see something else.

So I cleared up this abandoned garbage dump, plowed it, and planted some flower seeds. That was a long time ago, thoughhh…

And you went outside for real the other days, so I feel it’s a bit too late now.

But as you can see, the seeds I’ve planted are finally budding.

I actually hadn’t expected there to be covered in flowers like this… Just what’s buried in the land here? It’s way too rich in nutrients!

Kanata: Amazing, amazing! It’s pretty, so pretty!

It’s so pretty, there’s so many colors!

Madara: I actually hadn’t expected there to be covered in flowers like this… Just what’s buried in the land here? It’s way too rich in nutrients!

Kanata: Amazing, amazing! It’s pretty, so pretty!

It’s so pretty, there’s so many colors!

Mikejima, what color is this? Red? Blue? Yellow?

Madara: —Shh! Quiet down!

Kanata: Fwah? Eh? What? What is it, Mikejima…?

Madara: Someone’s coming. I hear footsteps.

Kanata: W-whaa? Isn’t this place forbidden? Is it a caretaker?

Madara: Yes, this place is forbidden—The vicinity around “The Abode of God” is more or less off-limits to ordinary believers and such.

Only select caretakers are allowed.

Kanata: Mhm. Only Mikejima, and then Grandpa and Grandma who were said to have been believers since long ago.

Madara: I’m still just an apprentice, thouuugh. I was forcibly recommended by my parents since we were the same age and would get along—

But well, I’ve committed the grave crime of taking God outside, so I feel I’m on the verge of losing those rights.

Kanata: Don’t say that. You’ll always be my caretaker, Mikejima.

Once Grandpa and Grandma prepare food and stuff, all they do is bow down to Kanata, it’s boring.

Madara: Those guys are believers down to the very bone, aren’t they…

But the people approaching us right now dooon’t look to be those dried up fellas.

There’s a lot of footsteps, and they’re rough. They’re getting closer and closer.

I have a bad feeling… Let’s hide behind there, God.

Kanata: O-Okay. Will do as Mikejima says.

Mikejima is always right. So if Kanata does what Mikejima says, he will be safe.

Madara: I’d like it if you thought for yourself from time to time… Well, it’s no wonder, this is an environment that fosters that sort of “thinking”.

I doubt they’ll even let you attend school.

Kanata: School? What’s that? Is it something fun?

Almost all of the things Mikejima tells me about me are pretty and fun things. ♪

Madara: I told you, be quiet… The owners of the footsteps have shown themselves.

Kanata: Mmmph… Don’t cover Kanata’s mouth, he can’t breathe.

Madara: (Just who are these guys? They’re dressed in black from head to toe—Wait, don’t combatants in those in tokusatsu shows look exactly like that?)

(Is this real? Am I mixing reality and delusion after watching too many tokusatsu shows?)

Kanata: Abyss.

Madara: ABYSS? You mean that suspicious bunch that the adults are always talking about lately?

Kanata: Mhm. They’re saying a lot of things like, “for Abyss”, or, “as Abyss”. They might be part of Abyss.

Madara: How can you hear them at this distance?

Kanata: Ears are good. It’s easier to hear when Kanata’s eyes are blocked.

Madara: Hmm. Still, ABYSS, huh… I’m always hearing that name in the strangest places.

Kanata: What is Abyss? Does Mikejima know?

Madara: Hmm. It appears our religion is on the verge of an internal divide.

I’m sure everyone’s agitated in the wake of God’s—in other words, your mother’s death.

Seems like there are forces attempting to take advantage of that turmoil to gain supremacy within the religion.

Kanata: This is a hard to understand conversation…

Mikejima is amazing for knowing so many difficult words.

Madara: It’s boring studying at cram school and school, so I’m always reading books instead.

What’s more important is, ABYSS is a new religious group attempting to split off and become independent… That’s the rumor.

A brand new organization formed by those who have abandoned the religion and hope to start a new one together, basically.

Just who are believers of this so-called “ABYSS religion”—

In other words, the adults are growing suspicious of each other, since they don’t know who is betraying the religion or abandoning it.

Kanata: That’s scary. Abandoning the religion for other faiths cannot be forgiven.

Madara: If you ask me, I think it’s all preeeetty fishy. It’s nothing but a rumor with no basis in fact.

Kanata: What makes you say that?

Madara: There’s no indication of any activity by ABYSS. Not a single trace.

My parents also have the role of internal inspection of sorts for the religion, so I can find out a lot by stealing and reading their documents and stuff.

While the name ABYSS was mentioned here and there in documents and such, there was never any mention of specifics, like who are members of ABYSS.

It’s unnatural. As long as someone is alive, they will leave all sorts of traces, but there was nothing of the sort.

There’s no substance, like it’s a figment of the imagination. It’s only found in documents and in rumors… I know it sounds weird, but it’s like they’re a ghost or a youkai.

God is dead, and everyone is somewhat anxious. Maybe ABYSS is just a name for that anxiety… That’s what I think, at least.

Kanata: It’s like the “bad thing”.[1]

Madara: Hm? Oh riiight, there is the “bad thing” told about in our religion—Maybe they’re a product of such baseless fantasies?

These adults all look like idiots, being driven around by something that doesn’t even exist.

Kanata: … …

Madara: Ahh, I mean, though I shouldn’t say that, as someone who aims to be an ally of justice.

Kanata: Not that, Mikejima. Behind you!

Madara: … …!?

(What the? I didn’t sense them at all! Before I knew it, the guys dressed in black appeared right behind me—ABYSS!)

(Those guys may look weird, but they sure are professionals! They move like that powerful guy that I saw at that police judo tournament my father forced me to watch!)

(I’ve been caught off guard! I’m an idiot! I’ve failed, again! If only I had ran away immediately, instead of chatting away so carelessly—)

← prev | story directory | next →

1. To learn more about this "bad thing", I recommend reading Grand Slam.

#abyss #scout #translation #madara mikejima #kanata shinkai

2 notes · View notes

yr-obedt-cicero · 2 years

Note

Hi, yes, hello, I come with more questions. This one should be easy, unlike last time

I was watching a video on the burial of Mary Queen of Scots and that, for some reason, made me think, "Oh, I wonder where Burr was buried!" (Mary was buried twice, for those of you wondering).

So yes, that's my question. Where was our chaotic boi buried and what was his funereal like? I mean, most of his contemporaries were already dead.

He died in a pretty miserable way, honestly. His family was dead, and all that he had was Eliza Jumel, who of which; had stayed by his side during his ailment and helped nurse him, she did also immediately leave him upon recovery as the divorce would be finalized on the same day of his death.

This newspaper, Sacramento Daily Union, Volume 90, Number 33, 28 September 1895, gives a decent retelling of his — also miserable — funeral. Apparently, Port Richmond was careless with their funeral fundings and planning, and Burr's funeral was nothing extravagant, nor did anyone really notable attend. Aside from a interesting pair, a little girl, described as being twelve years of age, and what is believed to be her mother, whom were so devastated about Burr's death it is also believed they were relatives of his. As the little girl had referred to him as “grandpa”, and if I was to make a guess the woman was probably a mistress or somebody Burr had slept with, and the little girl was his illegitimate daughter. But there's nothing to classify who these people supposedly were, or if the girl was truly related to him, or anything. The story is hella vague. Anyway, he was buried at Princeton Cemetery;

“The funeral services at Port Richmond were very slimly attended on the day succeeding his death. No relatives or distinguished men were pointed out among the attendants at the funeral, and the services were very simple. His remains were taken to Princeton, N. J., where Colonel Burr's father had been a college professor and where more pretentious funeral services were held. On the day following Burr's death, and shortly before the funeral, a touching incident occurred, as related by the undertaker. Among those who came down from New York to Port Richmond on the early morning boat was a closely veiled lady in black, accompanied by a beautiful little girl of 12 years of age. They seemed to have come unaccompanied, and hung back timidly while the other visitors were passing into the room. When an opportune moment was reached and the lady thought she could do so unobserved, she turned and asked the undertaker if she might enter. The man said of the in-cident: "They both fell to weeping and sobbing unrestrainedly, the girl in a child's way and the woman passionately, as though her heart would break. She had raised her veil while giving way to her emotion, and showed the features of a still beautiful woman, on the near side of 40. I judged, after they had some-what composed themselves, that they were relatives of the dead man, and was confirmed in this belief by the remark of the child to the woman, as they were passing out of the room: "We will never see grandpa any more," which the woman, agonized voice, replied: "Hush, hush, my child," and they hurried away together. The lady may have been Theodosia, Col. Burr's ill-fated daughter. It may have been another daughter and grand-daughter, who cherished his memory, and may have been disowned, but that these two were relatives I have no doubt."”

(source)

#amrev #american history #american revolution #aaron burr #history #cicero's history lessons #asks #empressbitch

24 notes · View notes

jessimmersimqueen · 2 years

Video

youtube

Life in Long Beach: Images from my early childhood

Take a trip back to late 1970s- early 1980s Long Beach, CA. This video is part auto-biography, part therapy, part fairy tale, and all California history. The Chortkoff Archives is a start up non-profit. We worked with the worlds smallest budget to accomplish my epic and ambitious vision! I think you will find this video is fast paced and an enjoyable way to spend 47 quick minutes. Please leave respectful comments. I don't even want to say how long I have been working on this one! I had the idea way back in 2013. That year my childhood home was up for sale and I called the real-estate agent who was only interested in selling the house and I said all the wrong things. So I just thought about it and eventually this was made. The interiors were recreated in The Sims 2, and you get a video walkthrough. So come check out my simulated time machine! Let's go to Long Beach back to the groovy and awesome late 70s early 1980s LA! There is a little something for everyone here! If you like animation, California history, video games, or grew up in the 1970s or 1980s, I think you will like this! If you have lost loved ones and family you will relate to it. If you had a unique childhood I think you will like it too. It is a story about picking up a little girl I left behind in LB in 1985! I had a big story to tell but no budget. I have big visions that I hope to bring to the big screen someday! Hopefully this video will help gain me the popularity I need to buy camera stabilizers, microphones, actors, and sets. Maybe a small camera crew someday! But all I had was a Canon 6D and it's built in microphone. But I got the sound down pretty well anyway! Thanks to Will Wright for inventing the Sims games. They have helped me work through the tough processing of everyday life. I recreated my childhood from memory. I also include a lot of interesting historic facts and elements to make this enlightening for everyone. I exorcized some childhood demons too! I recommend going back and writing out your story from birth! It was hard to keep this under an hour long because I began to remember so much stuff! Plus as I reached out I found my Cuz Peter Shaw, nephew of my beloved grandpa Thomas. I did not see a photo of my grandfather from the age of 10 until about 7 years ago when my dad, Rand Chortkoff passed. He had them! Cuz Peter also hooked me up with lots of photos of grandpa! I have yet to find where my grandparents are buried. This goes by fast and is light and fun I think! It is not made for children, but it is from my inner child's point of view. I would rate it PG. Safe for work, safe for TV, and probably just fine for children but viewer discretion is advised. And PLEASE subscribe to my Youtube! Life in Long Beach Images from my early childhood (and today) All photo restoration, digitalization, animation, and photo and video editing by Jessica Chortkoff Story by Jessica Chortkoff Featuring Jessica Chortkoff and Tasha Ayame Vest as themselves. Kiimm Vi as herself. All Original paintings by Jessica Chortkoff Images of maps and street photos by Google Maps. Other Sources include: Ancestry.com Familysearch.org http://calheights.org/community-event... https://www.longbeach.gov/park/recrea... Vintage Photos: [email protected] "Chewing Gum" Performed by Annie Produced by Richard X Written by Richard X and Hannah Robinson Published by Universal Music Publishing on behalf of Native Songs / Warner Chappell Music Ltd. (P) 2004 679 Recordings Ltd. By arrangement with Warner Strategic Marketing "Sim 2 Theme" "Sim Sation" "Sim Time Sim Place" "Makeover" "Sims Heartbeat" "Busy Sim" "Sim Heaven" "Sim the Builder" "Sim shopping Spree" By Mark Mothersbaugh "Funky Suspense" by Ben Sound "Big Day Out" "Hep Cat Jive" "Rendevous" "Call of the Mountains" "Toys" by Purple Planet Music Bells by Sukhavati (Tasha Ayame vest- Bells and Nick Vest- Guitar) "Popeye the Sailor Man" by Sammy Lerner sung by William Costello "Neighborhood 2" by Marc Russo and Jerry Martin Additional music by Ben Sound and Apple Special thanks Tasha Vest: Driver/lunch Also Nick Vest Rich Riggio (emotional support) Peter Shaw (research and photo-achive) Angel Heart (she knows) Will Wright EA Games (Simulation software) All characters created by Jessica Chortkoff and the Chortkoff Archives 2022

2 notes · View notes

benchortkoffphotos · 2 years

Video

youtube

Life in Long Beach: Images from my early childhood

#youtube

1 note · View note

nataliedanovelist · 3 years

Text

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.7 (finale)

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

ch.6

AO3 link

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford sat on the kitchen floor with his back against the cupboards, clinging to his knees, his glasses still in hand. His throat was sore and his eyes hurt and his nose was runny and his heart was raw and broken, and yet he wasn’t done crying. Though he was done sobbing and occasionally crying so hard he thought he would throw up, free-flowing tears still streamed down his face as he hid the bottom-half of his head in his beefy arms.

“What do we do now?” He moaned.

Stan looked at the know-it-all who didn’t have a clue. He sighed and moved to sit next to him, his back against the cupboard and his knees up by his chest as he combed his mullet. “I dunno… Sit here and die?”

Ford hiccuped a cruel laugh and buried his face in his arms fully. “I wish I could.”

Stan snorted. “What’s that saying? The good die young?”

Ford groaned and started to sob again.

Stan rubbed his back, his head against the cupboard and he looked up at the ceiling. “O-Okay, okay… Let’s think about this. So we never made up, or something else really bad happened between us, and that’s the timeline Mabel was from, right?”

“Right.” Ford gruffed, lifting his head up and rubbing his eyes dry.

“So, since that didn’t happen, or it happened differently… B-But that doesn’t mean she’s… She’ll still exist in our timeline, won’t she? She’s gonna be okay?” He asked the scientist, digging for some kind of hope.

Ford sighed and rested his cleft chin on his arms. “As long as what happened didn’t interfere with Alex’s life too much… Which I don’t know how it could… Mabel and Dipper should still be born in 1999. There’s a small possibility they’ll be different than what they once were, or because of some unseen butterfly effect, their birth might be different or might not happen at all… But…”

The eldest by fifteen minutes slipped his glasses back on, stood, and said stubbornly, “I’m going to do what I can to ensure it is a better future than what the kids had. Our entire family was broken because of what we did and didn’t do. Clearly either one of us went insane or died or something horrible, and I won’t allow that to happen.”

“I don’t think we gotta worry too much about that happening.” Stan said from down on the floor. “I mean, if Mabel changed things so much that an entire reality changed, then we don’t really gotta do much except not screw this up.”

Ford laughed and held out a hand to his twin, who gladly clasped it and stood. “You’re right.”

But the men were disheartened to finally notice the mess in the kitchen. Mabel’s cake batter sat on the flour-dusted counter, the oven was hot and ready for baking, and the muffin tray was on the floor from where Mabel dropped it. Ford looked down at the sweater he was wearing - the sweater she had knitted for him - and without a word he walked to the living room and saw Mabel’s knitting sitting on the couch where she had left it, a completed red sweater with a golden heart on it.

Ford smiled mournfully and held the sweater as Stan joined him and gasped at the sweater. The big brother held it out to the little brother and croaked, “We’ll see her again.”

Stan smiled, cleared his throat, and took off his hoodie and snagged the new sweater to slip it over his old white t-shirt. “Yeah.”

~~~~~~~~~~

July 22nd, 1980

Ford held the lantern up to better read the writing in the cave. He peered at it and was intrigued by a description of a being with answers. It would be summoned if he read out-loud, and though there were many clear warnings against this, the desperate scientist was extremely tempted.

“Sixer! Let’s move before we get caved in or some shit.” Stan called as he walked up to Ford. “What are you reading, cavemen graffiti?”

“Look, Stanley, there are tales of an all-knowing being with answers. It could help me with my theory…”

“Nope.” Stan grabbed Ford by the collar of his trenchcoat and dragged him away like dragging a child out of a toy store.

“Stanley! Let me go!”

“That shit’s got bad voodoo written all over it! You’ve gotta be inhaling toxic cave gas or something to think summoning a demon is a good idea!”

“We don’t know it’s a demon.”

“Really? Then why does that wall read in old blood ‘Do not summon demon!’?”

“Huh. Well, um…”

“That’s what I thought, now don’t make me pick you up and carry you. Let’s move.” And he lightly shoved Ford forward to lead the walk away from the cave and through the tunnels for sunlight.

~~~~~~~~~~

Alex’s wedding was wonderful and a joyous day, but it also made Ford and Stan nervous. They both agreed not to say a word to anyone (as far as Fiddleford knew, Ford had found the girl’s parents and all was over and ended well), and white they were happy to be one step closer to meeting the kids, they were slightly worried that something might be different than Mabel’s timeline.

She never told them her mother’s name. Did Alex marry someone else? Did they marry at the correct time? There was no way of telling, and they both agreed to allow themselves to enjoy the day and maybe drink a little. Or a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Shermie called and told them that Alex and Dana were going to have a baby, Ford choked on his coffee and Stan dropped the phone. They silently exchanged looks and were terrified that there was only one baby. But it was seven months before the end of August, so maybe the new parents were choosing to keep everything a surprise. Knowing Alex, that is something he would do, especially if there were twins. A beautiful surprise for his twin uncles.

So they congratulated Shermie and made him swear to call them if anything happened so they could be there. And despite their fear, they were very joyous of becoming grunkles again.

~~~~~~~~~~

August 31st, 1999

The entire week leading up to the day, the men were incredibly anxious. The birthday was on 31st, which meant Dipper and Mabel could be born at 1am on the 31st, or 11pm on the 31st. They had no way of knowing, but as long as that damn telephone stayed silent, they weren't leaving the house all weekend. Neither of them slept the night of the 30th, just in case.

Finally, a little after coffee on the 31st, the phone rang. Both Ford and Stan tackled each other and fought for it, but Stan sat on Ford and grabbed it first.

“Stanley, get off me!”

“Stanley, what are you doing to your brother?” Shermie chuckled on the other end.

“Nevermind that, Sherm!” Stan laughed. “What’s going on with you?” He asked casually, though he smiled down at Ford, who smiled back, despite still being sat on in the kitchen.

“Well, you guys know I’m gonna be a grandpa soon…”

“Really? Had no idea.” Stan said sarcastically as he stood up to get off Ford. “So? Is it happening now?!” Ford ran down the hall.

Shermie laughed. “Yup. I just got here myself and Alex and Dana got here about twenty minutes ago.”

“Piedmont Hospital, right?”

“Right.”

“We’ll be there in six hours.”

“It’s an eight hour drive!”

“I said six hours!”

“STANL-” But Stan hung up the phone.

Stan hurried up to his attic bedroom and dressed in his baby-blue Hawaiian shirt and slacks, while also grabbing a suitcase he’s had ready all week, prepared to stay as long as Alex and Dana needed him.

He ran back downstairs with suitcase in hand, with Ford by the door, and they sprinted into the Stanmobile and drove down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shermie was waiting for them in the hall, beaming with joy, and his little brothers ran to him for a tackle-hug.

“Good to see you, Grandpa!”

“Congratulations, Shermie!”

“Thank you, thank you!”

“Did we miss it?!” Stan asked. “Has it happened yet?!”

Shermie grinned and nodded. “Yes, everyone is safe and fine.” And he opened the door.

The aged explorers beamed (and no, they weren’t crying) to find Alex holding one baby and Dana holding another baby. The eldest pair of twins high-sixed and cheered and then gently approached the little ones, beaming down at them.

It was like they had been holding their breath for twenty years, and now they could finally breathe.

“What are their names?” Ford asked quietly, seeing how each newborn was sleeping soundly.

“This is Mabel,” Alex introduced, giving the bundle to Stan.

“And this is Mason.” Dana said tiredly, giving her son to Ford to hold.

Stan and Ford were a bit concerned with the name change, but one look at the baby boy relaxed them. Of course a name like Dipper was a nickname.

“Matching names, huh?” Stan asked cheekily, cradling Mabel and looking down at her with shining brown eyes.

“We couldn’t help ourselves.” Alex chuckled.

Ford’s eyes were glued to Mason. While of course he had been dying to see Mabel again, he had also been excited to meet his science-loving nephew. He was so cute and small in his polydactyl hands and Ford knew it would take a lot more strength than what he had to let him go.

The author tore his eyes away to see his twin looking down at Mabel with tears in his eyes, holding her close to his heart and trying really hard to hold it together, but his joy and peace was far stronger than any bad habits that stopped him from showing his emotions. Stan lightly kissed Mabel’s cheek and Ford saw his lips barely move, though he didn’t hear what he said. Which was fine by him. Ford smiled back down at Mason, finally content.

No one heard him say it, thank Moses, but Stan couldn’t help himself. He had whispered to his niece as quiet as a mouse, “I’ve missed you, pumpkin.”

And finally, after all these years, the small hole in the boys’ hearts could be filled.

THE END!

#GF #gravity falls #gravity falls au #timestuck au #fanfiction #stangst #thank you guys SO much for reading!#im sorry i hurt you last chapter #hopefully this makes up for it ^^;#august 31st

103 notes · View notes

vdlest · 3 years

Text

Sunset's Beauty

Characters:

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:

Now that you and Bucky are retired from being part of the Avengers, it's now time you two prioritized living your happily ever after.

Warning:

Fluff

Words:

1.3k

You watch the two most important people in your life as they play and roam around the beach as the sunsets. The wind continues to embrace your skin, your feet playfully bury themselves to the sand as your lips form a smile from watching Bucky and your son, Calix. And watching them made little flashbacks in your mind, remembering all the things you and Bucky have been through after you two retired from being part of the Avengers.

The sight of the hallway and the briefing room on your last day in the compound is still fresh in your mind, how each agent you pass by says their best wishes for you and Bucky's upcoming wedding and retirement, how Fury hugged you and thanked you for being part of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Avengers, how Sam held back his tears when he saw you and Bucky loading your bags on your car.

It wasn't an easy decision to make for you and Bucky. The two of you have been part of the Avengers for the past years of your lives and being part of it is what you two believe is the main highlight of your lives. However, your last mission made you two realized that life is too short to take everything for granted. Bucky almost lost you in the last mission, and so he promised himself, he won't take any single second for granted anymore.

So after your last day in the compound, you and Bucky planned a simple wedding. The only ones who are invited are your close family and friends. It was just a simple ceremony to share with the few people who made you two destined for each other.

And five years later, here you are, living your lives together in the best way possible you could think of.

A year after you and Bucky got married, you got pregnant and soon gave birth to a healthy baby boy. You and Bucky named him Calix, which means very handsome. Bucky would always be annoyed when people would tell both of you that Calix looks like you, but you would always tell Bucky that Calix got his eyes from him and your son's charm no doubt came from your husband.

The first few months of being parents were hard for you, especially after you gave birth but Bucky made it easier for you. He never left your side. He will always take the night shift in taking care of Calix and you. He will volunteer to change the diapers no matter what he was doing. He will carry Calix and roam him around the house just to entertain the crying baby, night and day, even though you'd see him yawn while doing it.

"Mommy!"

That angelic voice of your son made all your flashbacks disappear in thin air. You saw him running towards you, and Bucky was behind him, following his footsteps.

You opened your arms and Calix immediately hugged you, "Aww! My baby is not so baby anymore," you commented as he wrapped his arms around you.

Calix is all grown up, but to you and Bucky, he's still the same 8.7 lbs. baby you gave birth to. He was the biggest baby in the nursery at that time and that explained the stretch marks you had when you were pregnant with him. But no matter how many stretch marks you had, the joy of seeing him for the first time will always make everything worth it.

"Time for a new baby, I guess?" Bucky naughtily suggested, which made you glare at him and made him chuckle afterward.

It's a good thing Calix is too young to understand his dad's naughtiness. He just sat down on your lap and showed you the seashells he and Bucky collected while they were playing and roaming around the seashore.

"Wow! That's a lot of seashells. Are you gonna bring it home and hang it in your room?" you asked him.

Calix nodded, "'Gonna show this first to grandpa!" he stood up and run towards the beach house that your parents own, leaving you and Bucky alone together.

It's summertime and you got an invitation from your parents to spend a quick summer vacation in this beach house, also so they can spend time with Calix.

You find the invitation perfect since you and Bucky wanted to go somewhere this summer to spend quality time together. Your parents happily offered to take care of Calix while you and Bucky have time for each other as well, and you knew why they wanted for you and Bucky to have lots of time alone together. They wanted to have another grandchild, which you and Bucky already discussed.

"Can't believe we've gone this far already," Bucky uttered out of nowhere, making your eyes met his.

"Uh-oh, someone's being sentimental," you joked as you motion him to lay down on the picnic blanket and rest his head on your thighs.

He lay down and rested his head on your thighs, his eyes are looking up at yours, "I just...I just can't believe it has been five years since I got married to the most wonderful woman I've ever met in my entire life," he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

You run your fingers through his hair, "And I can't believe you're this cheesy because when we first met you were the grumpiest," you joked again.

Bucky was telling the God damn truth -- the two of you have gone far already.

It was like only yesterday when you two first joined forces in a mission and you two hated each other's guts, but eventually you two found that way to fall in love with each other. And that's something you and Bucky owe to your Avengers' life. Because of it, you met each other and got married.

You thought, if only Nat, Steve, and Tony were also there to see how good your life with Bucky is, you bet they'll be happy for both of you. But wherever they are, you know they are looking down up there, smiling ear to ear because they can see from wherever they are that you and Bucky are happy together.

Just like any other relationship, you and Bucky experienced highs and lows, turns and twists, but what's important is that you two never gave up and always think of why you two were together in the first place, because of love.

"Y/n, can I ask you something?" he sounded so serious this time.

Your brows raised, "What?" you asked him, still running your fingers through his hair.

"Do you regret our decision?"

Without mentioning what decision he's pointing out, you knew what it is.

"Bucky," you cupped his cheek and smiled at him, "It was the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. It was a sad decision to make, it was sad to leave the life we got used to, but it was only a matter of time before we choose to live the life we want to and this is it. I'd still choose that decision over and over again, knowing that you and Calix will be the best result of that decision," you told your husband.

Bucky got up from your lap and this time, he was the one who cupped your face, "Same goes with me." He let go of your cheek and grabbed your hand, "I'm living my best life with you and Calix. So thank you, thank you for doing this with me."

"No," you shook your head, "I should be the one thanking you," you retorted. "Thank you for putting me and Calix your number one and only priority. Thank you for making me this happy," you proclaimed.

Instead of answering your gratitudes, his hand traveled to the back of your neck and pull you towards him to give your lips a kiss.

His kiss was soft and pure of love. All you could sense is how much he loves you and how willing he is to sacrifice anything for you and your family, that's what you both did five years ago.

And no matter where life takes both of you, it doesn't matter, as long as you two are together, everything is in its right place.

-v.dl

131 notes · View notes

daegall · 3 years

Text

Coming home

pairing: long distance boyfriend! Donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: uuuuuhhhh swearing?

word count: 1.6 k words

a/n: YOOOO A CONVENIENCE STORE JUST OPENED UP NEXT TO MY GRANDPAS PLACE NO LITERALLY ITS RIGHT NEXT DOOR WATCH ME COME BACK HOME WITH A TON OF ICE CREAM 😎😎 also tell me what you think of this, it's a bit different from my usual writing :) (Sungchan blurb coming out tomorrow for knet-bakery’s nostalgic melodies event!! Please look forward to it <33)

AAANNNNNNDDD HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEST LEADER TY TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!! KING DESERVES THE WHOLE WORLDDDD <3333

networks: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kokonomi

🎶: coming home - nct u

5 months. 5 months without Donghyuck. 5 months without his touch, his warm embraces, his soft voice, his teasing remarks. 5 months of yearning for his featherlight touch, boyish grin, spontaneity, his reassurance and sincerity.

5 days until he arrives. 5 more days until you will be with him, 5 more days until you can love him.

Your eyes stay on the calendar for much longer than intended, calculating every single moment until the date hits Friday, waiting for the hour hands to move in the clock. For once in your life, you wish time would go faster.

The movie in front of you is basically useless, it’s his favorite Christmas movie. You can’t stand a second watching it without waiting for time to tick by or constantly thinking of him.

Your foot taps rapidly on the ground, teeth finding themselves chewing and gnawing at your lower lip yet once again. Friday, when will you come?

It’s felt too long without him, his arms wrapping around your body, his lips pressing softly against your burning skin, his hair softly tickling your nose, you’re becoming anxious.

5 days, just 5 days.

——————🌻——————

5 hours. Just 5 more hours.

5 hours until you can whisper how much you missed him, 5 hours until you can finally get shitty convenience store noodles with him, until you can freeze the shit out of your brains with the cold slushies.

You slip on your sweater quickly, bouncing out of bed after the sudden spontaneous decision to get to the airport early. It’s only 3 in the afternoon, the flight lands at 8, and not to mention the baggage pick up and all that other things, that's bound to be another 40 minutes.

You stop yourself before you could lock the door to your apartment, cursing and taking the key out from the keyhole. It’s too early. You don’t want to wait too desperately for him 2 hours before he even arrives.

‘2 hours.’ You tell yourself, ‘you can go in 2 hours.’

5 hours of impatience and anticipation is a lot harder to handle that 5 hours of a normal day.

What can you do in 5 hours? Surely, you could call Donghyuck, text him, send him a video or photo, anything.

Your head swarms more and more with thoughts of your distant significant other, the image of him printed permanently in your mind for you to cherish and enjoy while he’s gone.

5 months, he didn’t change that much, right? He never fell for someone else, right? There’s no way.

There’s a sudden swing in your mood, from frantic and yearning, to worried and doubtful, 5 months could really affect one.

——————🌻——————

5 minutes, god you’re literally shaking in anticipation. 5 minutes until you know you cry, 5 minutes until you’re in his embrace, 5 minutes until you can kiss his most likely chapped lips.

You decided to stay home, after you promised Donghyuck you would wait at home for him after he quickly texted you before the flight landed.

You’re unaware that in 5 minutes, the person you’ve longed most is coming through the front door, in 5 minutes you’ll be able to hold him and kiss him and finally be with him.

Maybe you should take a nap? Eat a snack? Clean the house?

4 minutes.

You slump into the couch, scrunching your face up in frustration. It’s been too long since you’ve been with Donghyuck. Without a fucking screen separating you apart.

There’s a hole in your chest, you can feel it, its dark and empty and swirling with eagerness. It’s eager for something, you know exactly what.

It’s waiting for Donghyuck’s love to come and fill up that void, to complete yourself.

Waiting for your better half.

3 minutes.

You can’t pay attention to the movie. What’s the point of watching a Christmas movie when it’s by yourself? Your eyes trail to the window next to the couch, where the snow falls ever so gracefully, covering the ground in a beautiful white.

Usually, you would always wish to go outside and play in the snow, but you have nothing but impatience in your body as you wait for your lover to come through the doors and welcome you in a hug.

2 minutes.

Is he stuck in traffic? Was there no taxi left?

1 minute.

You’re sure there were many taxis left, didn’t you book one for him? Did you forget? Oh no, did you?

50 seconds.

You curse at yourself and stand up abruptly, reaching over to the lamp table next to the couch to grasp at the keys.

45 seconds.

Dashing to the door, you are unaware of the figure behind it, hauling his heavy luggage up the stairs with such speed as well.

30 seconds.

You’re grabbing your puffy coat from the coat hanger, your heart clenching at the empty spot next to it, where Donghyuck’s coat will be hung.

It only urges you further to quicken up and get to the airport on time.

25 seconds.

But that’s nearly impossible, will all the snow and traffic, halfway there and he could already be waiting for you at home.

20 seconds.

It doesn’t stop you, you still have the large urge to see him come out the gate yourself, be reassured that he is here, he’s going to stay.

15 seconds.

Donghyuck huffs and wipes at the cold sweat on the back of his neck, when did the stairs suddenly become longer? Was it always that hard to get up?

10.

Your long distance boyfriend faces the door, the familiar wooden, authentic door he hasn’t seen in too long for his liking. This is it.

You’re right behind that door, stopping in your tracks to question if your actions are worth it.

Just wait, you tell yourself. He will come.

But greed takes over. It’s taking over your hand that is reaching for the door knob and twisting the cold metal to open the door.

Strangely, there is a weight causing the knob to twist easier, which is weird, the knob has always been a bit rusty and hard to twist open.

Donghyuck thinks the same thing, wondering if you finally fixed it with some oil or changed it.

Even at the smallest opening of the door, the cold gush of wind pushes in and blows against your warm skin, goosebumps being the result of such action.

As the door opens wider, you spot a familiar black luggage, the brown coat you bought as a birthday present for your boyfriend, and what’s best, is your boyfriend himself, whose expressions change as well as yours when he sees you as well.

In the span of a single second, Donghyuck is barging in and swooping you up in his arms, the snow from his coat falling between your own jacket and slipping into your neck and shoulders.

The cold is nothing compared to the nostalgic warmth of Donghyuck’s arms you missed oh so much, his skin burning against yours as you bury your face in the side of his neck.

You’ve grown a few inches, Donghyuck notices, because you only have to tiptoe to reach his shoulder. He can’t help but notice the smallest, most simplest things. Like how the living room has changed a little bit, just a few more pots of plants here and there, the tv playing his favorite Christmas movie, his hoodie he left for you sitting on the couch, he notices every little thing, and instantly adores all of them.

You also notice everything too, the way his shoulders have grown broader, the hairs on the back of his neck that grew longer, heck, even his new shoes he was sure you wouldn’t notice.

One thing that doesn’t change, you notice as you pull away slightly to look into Donghyuck’s eyes, is the love in them. The warmness and adoration pooling in them. The sparkle that they hold.

What also is pooling in his eyes are tears, happy tears, at the sight of you smiling oh so brightly just for him, all for him to cherish.

“Fuck, you don’t even know how much I missed you,” he breathes out, sighing at the feeling of your fingers softly carding through his snowy hair.

A soft smile adorns your lips, your lips Donghyuck has longed for so long, your lips he still longs to kiss.

And so he does. He plunges forward to take your lips passionately between his, the feeling of them crashing together sending his heart into a frenzy. Donghyuck’s mind is blank, only you in it, your hands lightly tugging at his hair, the smooth skin of your neck as he pulls you closer, your heart beating against his. He’s finally home.

Donghyuck attempts to dive back in and chase your lips when you pull away, but is stopped by your fingers pressing against his lips and your soft laughter filling the air.

A pout creases his lips, as you pat his cheek and kiss chastely on his red nose, “Go take a shower, you’re gonna catch a cold.”

He indeed catches a small cold that evening, dramatizing the fact that he’s cold, begging for cuddles and for you to feed him, but you’ve simply missed him too much to complain.

What would you even complain about? It’s almost Christmas, he’s home, and he’s going to stay. He will be the one helping you decorate the tree, he’s the one throwing snow at you, he’s the one setting the mistletoe up just as an excuse to kiss you.

He is everything you’ve ever wanted, he is your home.

216 notes · View notes

1plus1kiyoomi · 4 years

Text

Chapter 18: I’m Sakusa Kia

[prev] [next]

[masterlist] [kia’s slambook]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kia’s short autobiography.

Hi I’m Kia.

My mama is (L/N) (F/N). I didn’t have a papa. I didn’t have a big family. My family is only mama and Kia. But in mama’s bedtime stories, she describes my papa as tall handsome prince with black curly hair. A very caring and loving prince. My mama loves my papa very much but he’s not with us.

I have two favorite uncles. Keikei and Kenken. They give me clothes, books, toys and they play with me. But I don’t see them everyday because they have work and are far from my mama and me. They are always worried about mama.

I’m worried about mama too.

She always cried.

She cried when grandma told her to put me at a house so she could study. But mama said she didn’t want to be separated from me. I couldn’t speak yet. But if I could, I would have told her to leave me because I know she’ll come back for me. And I’ll wait for her.

She cried when we moved out of grandma’s house. Maybe that’s why she was sad. Cause she will miss grandma. I miss grandma too but she told us never to come back. She said she didn’t want see Kia or mama again.

We found a new home. It was small like a box but mama and I fit in it. We played and ate on the floor. But every night, only mama slept on the floor. I was in the crib, sleeping on soft fabric. I heard mama cry there too. Maybe because her back hurt.

We were playing house one day and she cried. She told me to be a good girl then mama slept for very very very long. Keikei came and picked me up. I stayed in his house for a long time until mama came back. I waited like the good girl mama told me to be.

We transferred to a bigger house and mama didn’t sleep on the floor anymore. We had a couch and a bed. I thought mama would be happier. But she still cried because she didn’t eat. I gave her my milk and she smiled again. I love mama’s smiles.

When she thought I was asleep, I heard her cry again. She talked on the phone with Keikei and Kenken that she’s worried if she could still feed me or send me to a good school. She said she felt lonely. I wanted to tell her I don’t even know what school is and I was there for her but she’ll get mad that I was awake. So when she came back, I hugged her tight. She always hugged me tight to help me sleep better.

That night she also told me that she couldn’t give me all the best things in the world but she promised she’ll give me all her love. But that’s crazy, right? How could she love Kia even more? She loves me way too much already. And mama is the best thing in the world!

We moved to Tokyo and met uncle Momo. After that I met my new grandma and grandpa. And my uncles and aunties and cousins. And my great grandma. And my cousin’s dog. My other cousin’s cat.

I also I met Kyo.

I didn’t like Kyo. Mama cried after she saw him. She cried all night. She wasn’t able to sleep. Maybe he was bad to mama that’s why she was crying?

Keikei told me Kyo was my papa. But he was mean to me. He hated Kia. How could he be my papa?

He didn’t like feeding me. He hated changing my diapers. He wouldn’t sleep beside me. He doesn’t carry me. He hates it when I talk or follow him around the house. He shouted at me for coloring on his wall.

But he loves me now!

He protected me from that doctor. He also said sorry for shouting at me. And he told me a bedtime story. He played ball with me and my new other uncles. We went to a flower field and took pictures. We rode the big teacups.

Kyo also gives the best hugs. He carries me around the house all the time. He lets me follow him except when he goes to work. No matter how hard I cry, he doesn’t bring me with him. But he gives me promise kisses so I let him go.

Kyo said he loves me more than mama but I’m sure he’s lying. He kisses mama more than he kisses me. But still, he loves me. He even proposed to me! He gave me a ring!

Mama also stopped crying ever since we moved in with Kyo. Maybe because he takes care of mama. He cooks food for mama. He hugs mama. He kisses mama. He loves mama. She isn’t lonely anymore. She has me and Kyo.

My family got bigger. I have more uncles, cousins, grandma and grandpa. I have mama. And I have Kyo, my papa.

End of Kia’s autobiography.

“And Sakusa finishes the match! 24-26!” The commentator says, the whole arena roaring in cheers. You and Kia jump from your seats, thrilled by Kiyoomi’s last spike. He looks at the two of you, grinning proudly.

“Papa, I love you!” Kia shouts. Kiyoomi actually can not hear her but he manages to read her little lips. She does a big heart with her arms, the tips of her fingers on top or her head. She’s hoping he’ll respond.

“I love you too!” Kiyoomi shouts back, doing a heart shape with his arms too. Kia squeals, happy that her father responded. He does not care about the crowd watching and cameras flashing. It’s just him and his daughter. And you of course.

“I love you,” you mouth to him, and his lips turn into a teasing smirk. He blows a kiss to you, but you don’t catch it. You’re not your high school self anymore. You actually feel shame now. You’re aware that almost everyone in the place is staring at you. Who isn’t curious about the person that the impassive Sakusa Kiyoomi in love? He’s even making hearts and throwing kisses at you.

Kia huffs at you. “You have to catch papa’s kiss!” You look at Kiyoomi and he’s looking at you with hope in his eyes. You sigh, then raise your hand acting as if you’re catching something. You kiss the palm and your hand and the crowd roars once again. You hid your face, burying it on Kia’s backpack.

After that commotion in the arena, you and Kia head to the backstage of the press conference, where their manager told you to wait. You sit at one of the plastic chairs, settling Kia on your lap.

After the opponents team interview, Kiyoomi finally goes up to the stage with Atsumu and Hinata. Kia hears her father’s voice so she slides her way down your lap and run to the stage. Before you could even catch her, she is already entering under the table of where the players are being interviewed.

Hinata is the first one on the table, so he yelps when he feels someone under it. He lifts the table cloth to check what it is and see Kia crawling to her father. He silently chuckles and continues to watch her journey.

“I actually think the team is in gre-” Kiyoomi stops talking mid-sentence as he feels someone grab on his calves. He lifts the cover only to see his daughter show off a toothy grin. “What are you doing here?”

Bokuto and Atsumu check, too, curious on why Kiyoomi suddenly stopped talking. They see Kia and can’t stop themselves from smiling. The press is curious, too. Taking pictures at different angles so maybe they can capture whoever is under the table. You palm your face, scolding Kia inside your head.

“I miss papa,” Kia replies to Kiyoomi’s her eyes glistening. How can he ever say no to his princess?

“Wanna sit on my lap?” Kia nods at his suggestion. He picks her up from the floor then sits her on his lap. She sees the camera and cowers to Kiyoomi’s chest. “Go say hi.”

Kia leans close to the mic, her lips close to the mic just like how she observed while you were still sitting. Kiyoomi pulls her back a little, making sure her lips doesn’t touch the dirty mic. The room is silent, waiting for Kia to speak. She glances at Kiyoomi and he gives her a reassuring pat on the head.

“Introduce yourself. What’s your name?” Kiyoomi guides. Kia nods, understanding his statement.

“Hi, I’m Sakusa Kia. My mama is (L/N) (F/N) and my papa is Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Facts:

Babies who are only a few weeks old, can store their memory for 2 days. By the time they reach 5 months, they can familiarize photos for as long as 14 days.

There are two major types of memories: explicit and implicit. Explicit memories recall events that has a time and place. Implicit memories do not recall specific events, they recollect emotions.

Children 7 years old below remember more implicit memories than explicit memories, unlike adults who remembers the latter more.

Kia is most likely not to remember all these events but will remember what she felt from it.

[prev] [next]

Taglist: @elianetsantana aoi-turtle ptv-hades aquzairus a-applepi justoneofthefangirlsarianna-r13 morenabambinii chaelysian loser-keiji mxngy ne-kuroon1fangirlsblog d-efend missalicebaskervillemarvelousbakugou @agaashesmilktea bonkyandloki kimi09 ntimacy @mkazuyuh ushi-please minty-mangos-world @dearest-kiyoomi yeehawslap onlyshinji obsessedwhxre

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #sakusa smau #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu series #sakusa imagines

772 notes · View notes

astridthevalkyrie · 3 years

Text

summer rain: chapter 4

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 3, Chapter 5

i have finally found the two perfect songs for this series and that’s everytime by chen & punch and talk love by k. will so go give those a listen because damn if it isn’t these two idiots.

anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Nothing is right anymore, and yet people are so quick to adapt to any sense of normalcy they can. It’s marveling to watch how, in two measly days, the refugees have quieted down and stopped fighting for food. Stopped fighting, period. Now they seek comfort in one another, a sense of camaraderie in knowing that they’ve all gone through the same thing. And holy hells are there a lot of them.

Because soon after Shiganshina was torn through because of the monster they were calling the Colossal Titan, Wall Maria itself fell. Ploughed straight through by something called the Armored Titan as though it was made of feathers. The refugees here are safe - for now - but there are countless of people who weren’t lucky enough to get behind Wall Rose, and they’re out there dying right about now. No one knows if Rose is going to hold either. No one knows anything. So with the kinsmanship comes a heavy pretense of safety, in which everyone ignores how scared they are in favor of counting themselves lucky that they get to live even a single day longer.

You’re doing what you can. Obeying orders without so much as a single complaint. Of course all rations are to be given to the refugees, so you’ve only had one eighth of a potato in the past twenty four hours, but it’s better than nothing. For once, you can’t find any fault with your situation, because no matter how terrible or hungry or scared you’re feeling, there is undoubtedly someone feeling worse.

Such as Ricky.

His mother and old sister managed to get to the boats. His father and younger sister weren’t so lucky.

The two of you had been stationed inside the base together, to watch and hand out resources to the refugees, but you’d immediately taken full responsibility and told Ricky to stay with his family. He’d pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Unfortunately, they’re pretty unpleasant.

Captain Erwin Smith is famed for bringing home soldiers who are still alive. That and Levi’s raw skill with his ODM gear makes you hopeful enough that he’s alive, so you try not to think of him. Frankly, it’s selfish to worry about a single person when there’s so many people at risk, so you bury the troublesome thoughts and focus on your job.

The Garrison has done a good enough job with the resources they have, but the Military Police’s presence is aggravating more than anything. They’re here to keep order, not to keep people safe, and everyone knows it. You wonder if your mother would prefer if you joined with these bastards instead of the choice you’ve made for yourself.

There you go again, being selfish. It’s always been about your life, and your absolute disdain for boredom. Out there, good people are laying down their lives. And you? You enlisted in the Training Corp as some form of self-fulfillment. It’s the first time you’re feeling this overwhelming guilt, as you realize just how ignorant your point of view is. You’ve never even so much as seen a titan, and yet you fancy yourself a soldier.

What a stupid girl you’ve been.

A tug on your uniform makes you snap out of your thoughts, and you look down to see a small girl with black hair wrapped in a scarf that’s too big on her. You blink, and try your best to smile reassuringly.

“Hey. You need something?”

The girl’s voice is quiet, soft, as though she’s trying her best not to be a bother. “They said you were giving out blankets here. May I have four of them, please?”

You nod, leaning down to check the crate by your feet. Unfortunately, you’d been swarmed by people asking for blankets just a few minutes earlier, and you’re just one short of how many the girl needs.

“I only have three left,” you begin apologetically, biting your lip, “but wait here, I’ll go check with someone else.” But you know that’ll be pointless, all the other stations have probably run out too, and if they haven’t, they’re saving for themselves. Calling them out won’t make them give it to you, that much is for sure.

Even the little girl seems to know that much. She shakes her head, taking the three blankets you offer her. “It’s alright. Three is enough. I’ll give them to the others.”

You frown. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter much. But you know that you would hardly be so selfless in the same situation. Hell, you would have wanted two blankets to yourself - these thin sheets are only going to do the bare minimum to keep people warm. The girl piques your curiosity.

“What’s your name?”

She hesitates for a second, then says, “Mikasa.”

You hum as though you’re thinking about it. “Pretty name. Who are the blankets for?”

She smiles faintly at the compliment. “My friends, Eren and Armin, and Armin’s grandpa.”

Not her parents. Your heart breaks for her. You’re not going to pry, the girl has probably seen enough, but you admire her maturity and willingness to spend the nights cold. It must take a lot to love some people so dearly that one would give up basic comfort. To risk getting sick, which, given the circumstances, may just be a death sentence. Yes, that kind of love is truly special, and you wonder if you’ll ever love someone that much.

You want to be a little selfless, too.

“Here.” You shrug off your uniform jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “I know it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Mikasa’s eyes widen. “But don’t you need it, ma’am?”

“Eh. They can make me another one.” You shrug. “Besides, to tell you the truth, orange isn’t really my color.”

Her eyes shine tiredly at the unexpected kindness. “Thank you.”

You watch her run off, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. One person helped, out of thousands. It shouldn’t matter - you’re probably never going to see that girl again, you wouldn’t even know if the dumb uniform would do her any good. But there’s a part of you that can rest just a bit easier now, knowing that a child won’t be completely exposed to the harsh winter coming in. If the conditions of Wall Rose are anything to go by, you know that the refugees will be put to work in the fields very soon. It’s going to be a cold season indeed.

There’s been no time to process anything, which you’re almost grateful for. If you stop to think about the effect this is going to have on the fate of humankind, you might scream. There’s too much to think about, and there may be no time to think about it if things get even worse. For now, all you can do is try to help as many people as you can.

As Grumman always tries to drill into your head, it’s about dedicating your heart.

____________________

The new base and training areas are nice. That’s about all you can say for them. Losing the old one was akin to losing your home, and you know your comrades feel the same way, considering how awkward and depressing the shift has been. It feels stupid to start training again like the world hasn’t gone to shit, but you suppose it’s more necessary now than ever.

Everyone’s usual hijinks have stopped. Ophelia doesn’t cross her eyes and make faces whenever Grumman turns his back. Gunther’s habit of making finger guns every time he successfully slices a cardboard titan’s neck has ceased to exist. Even Traute, never one for jokes, seems even more morose and serious than usual. Everyone feels the loss keenly.

Ricky’s gone silent.

You don’t know how many people everyone has lost, and the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced is the relief that you haven’t lost anyone. It’s an ugly impulsive thought, but it trumps all the others in your head. Just overwhelming, horrible comfort.

It gets even worse when the Scouts return, almost three weeks later. There’s no cheers and hollers this time. Each and every single one of them is drenched in guilt and shame along with the blood coating their capes. Titan blood evaporates, you realize with a deep shudder.

The commander carries the same pain as the rest of them. Already, there’s been whispers of Commander Erwin, murmurs that Shadis is losing his touch and a younger, more clever man is needed. You don’t see how it matters who leads - titans are fucking titans, and they certainly don’t care. There’s no tactics that will make them stop being giant man-eating monsters.

You’ve been waiting for days to see Levi, but when you finally make him out, you quickly look away. The horrifying relief blooms in your chest again, and you curse and bless the circumstances that have brought you here. So he’s alive. So the constant anxiousness that has kept you up these last few nights is soothed. So what? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Things will never, ever go back to normal. You have no right to be happy about this.

When you glance at him again, you suck in a sharp breath when you see he’s gazing right back at you. There’s no brightness in his eyes, the rare spark that you’d seen in the moments the two of you shared is long gone. It seems like it was centuries ago. He’s seen too much. They all have.

There’s a question he seems to be asking you, but you have no idea what it is. You want to walk up to him, but a heavy force keeps your feet planted right where they are. All you can do is give him a confused expression, brows furrowed. It’s not like you’re telepathic. If he wants to ask you something, he’ll have to actually ask you.

But he doesn’t. He just looks away, seemingly conflicted, and continues to follow the others. When everything around him is hell, you wonder if you’re even important enough to be worth more than a couple of seconds of his attention. Thankfully, the thought isn’t painful like you imagined it might be. In fact, it’s a bit freeing to let go of this stupid, ridiculous, pointless plan. Your grudge against the lieutenant is about the least important thing in the world right now, so insignificant that you wonder how you ever thought it was worth your time in the first place. There’s no need to make yourself feel more like the foolish, self-centered bitch that you’re realizing you are.

The only problem that comes with letting go of this plan is that you’re letting go of Levi, and it’s a serious problem that the thought gives you such an aching pang in your chest.

____________________

Stephen is gently shaking you for a good ten seconds before you snap out of it, looking at him with a bewildered expression.

“Aren’t you going to go for your walk?”

You look around. Dinner is nearly over, and a few people have already filed out to go back to their dorms. You must’ve zoned out, like you have been ever since the Scouts came back earlier today. You’ve never been so unfocused in your life, simply because you didn’t like not knowing what was happening around you. This is so unlike you, but you’re not sure what to do to stop it. A dark cloud has settled over your shoulders, and you have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it.

“Yeah.” You sigh and stand up, squeezing his hand in thanks. “Ricky went to bed already?”

Stephen nods, with a concerned frown on his face. “I know you’re worried about him, (F/N). I am, too. A lot.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

You wince apologetically, running a hand through your hair. “Shit, I’m really sorry. Look, I’m fine, I am. I’m just...thinking a lot lately, that’s all.”

The last thing you want is to have your friends take time out of their day to schedule an intervention for you. You’re not the one who needs it. It’s as though everything just makes you feel worse and worse - it’s just that you feel fucking useless all the time, and now you’re an emotional burden to Stephen, who just has to be sweet to everyone.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says kindly, “just take care of yourself, okay?

“Yeah. You too.” You squeeze his hand again and then head out, beginning your aimless walk around the grounds.

The moon is shining brightly, an unwanted beacon to the despair brewing inside you. Truthfully, you’re spiralling, and you haven’t spiralled in years, not since you decided to take control of your life. There’d been no trigger then, or maybe life itself had been the trigger, and you’d holed yourself up in your room as your head spun out of control. Cheesy questions like what am i doing here and what is my purpose and am i ever going to do anything meaningful rose to your mind then, and they do again now.

Back then, you’d decided that the answer simply lied outside of Stohess. You still believe that, to an extent. Going back isn’t going to solve anything, but...what did leaving accomplish? Your desires are fulfilled, but there’s no purpose to any of this. Not when people were and still are dying out there. Is the only way forward to dedicate yourself to the noble cause of saving humanity? There mustn't be a person alive who can give themselves that goal and actually hope to achieve it.

Well, except one.

This time, you’re the one who finds him.

He’s standing by his horse, stroking the fur gently. Somehow you’ve walked all the way to the stables without realizing. You take a step back, intending to walk away, but the selfish part of you that you’re starting to loathe doesn’t let you go any further than that. You’ve missed him, so much. You’ve missed his bad attitude, his amused smiles, his tantalizing gaze. You want it back, selfishness and selflessness all be damned. Now that he’s here in front of you, it’s too hard to resist.

“Lieutenant.”

Levi looks at you, and his shoulders droop as he stares wearily. He looks like he’s aged several years, and you consider that he probably doesn’t want to see you right now.

“Sorry to disturb you.” You take a deep breath, willing your hands to stay still by your sides and stop clenching. “Were you going for a ride?”

“Yeah.” He takes in the sight of you and then lets out the slightest of sighs. “Do you want to come?”

“What?”

Never in a million years did you expect him to offer going on a horse ride with you, and never in a billion years did you expect yourself to want to accept. You’re so taken aback that it doesn’t occur to you to note the little stool he’s using to hike himself up (as though he can’t pull himself on - it’s a formality more than anything). Levi’s looking at you, waiting for an answer, hand outstretched like he’s actually trying to live up to the fucking prince charming title you’ve given him.

“Okay,” you agree softly, not really knowing what the hell else you’re supposed to do.

You take his hand and he helps you on - really unnecessary, you can get on a horse by yourself - and you swallow when you realize he’s placed you in front. If he wants, he can observe your every reaction to him, and see...well, you don’t know what he’ll see or what you’ll do, but you know it’s not anything you’re willing to show him.

He gets on behind you, an arm snaking around your waist before he instructs you to hold onto the saddle tightly.

Neither of you speak. The horse trots peacefully, never going too fast. The poor thing’s probably done enough running to last it a lifetime. You caress the fur gently as you enter the forest, the moon now cloaked by the towering trees, stealing away your capacity for sight. It’s not something you inherently mind, honestly, it feels good to just close your eyes and relax.

But deep under the guilt and midlife crisis (probably more than midlife given the world you live in), you’re still you. And you get restless easily, not to mention you’ve been craving a conversation with Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and you don’t want to pass up the chance.

“How bad was it?”

Okay, maybe not the conversation started you should have chosen.

“Bad,” Levi answers without much hesitation, “really bad.” He releases a shaky breath and on impulse you place your hand over his, immediately feeling awkward right after. Do you grip his fingers? Pat him in a show of solidarity? You don’t know, so you don’t do anything, but you don’t remove your hand either.

After a beat, he says, “I was wrong.”

You wrack your brain about what he could be wrong about. Maybe about asking you to come with him just now. Your company hasn’t exactly been what you would call pleasant.

“About what, sir?”

When Levi responds, you feel his hot breath on your neck and you barely stop yourself from shuddering. He shouldn’t be in such close proximity to you. Doesn’t he know what he does to you when he gets this close?

“I said I wanted to see the day that smile got wiped off your face. Now that the day’s here, I wish I could take it back.”

You whip your head around, not even bothering to make sure you don’t accidentally hit him. Luckily you don’t, even though he’s not far from you at all, just a centimeter closer and the tip of your nose would touch his. In the dark, you can barely make him out, but the grey eyes that have fascinated you for so long are discernible even without any light. He’s watching you, so intently that your face burns up, and you pray to whoever’s up there that he can’t see you too well without the moonlight.

But can anyone blame you? Lieutenant Levi, the man who’d punished you for smiling, was now claiming that he missed the very smile that had made you the bane of his existence. You can’t chalk it up to his usual mood swings, because you know it’s not that. You know he’s trying to tell you something, and you’re so close to figuring it out.

You don’t even flinch when his finger curls under your chin and tilts it up just a bit so he can appreciate the view properly.

Even in the dark, you know his lips are just a mere inch away from yours. You wonder what he tastes like.

No.

You turn back around, heart pounding wildly in your chest. It’s wildly inappropriate to think about doing something like that. You can’t, not when he’s your trainer and lieutenant and humanity’s savior. Whatever this is, you have to reel it in control.

“I can’t,” you say, and then quickly clarify so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “I can’t smile. Not when so much has happened. How can I smile when people...when they’re out there...when you and the rest of the soldiers have sacrificed everything and I’ve done nothing?”

It’s not as though you expect him to give you the most motivational speech in the world, but when he answers, “You’re going to sacrifice plenty in the future,” you feel overwhelmed with guilt, and you just want it to stop. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know your plans, your motivations, or why you’re here at all. He thinks you’re someone that you’re really, truly not.

But you’re not brave enough to tell him any of that. So you opt for the other truth, the less relevant but equally as pressing one.

“I’m not strong enough.”

“No,” Levi murmurs in agreement, “but you’re going to be.” Both his arms are curled around you, and there’s something uplifting in his tone when he says, “4 AM tomorrow, understood?”

Just like that, your goal changes.

If the lieutenant thinks that you can actually be useful, then maybe...maybe you actually can. You’ve somehow gotten in the top ten without even meaning to, so it’s not too much of a stretch to think you could be really good if you actively tried. And he’s still willing to train you - even after all that’s happened, he doesn’t consider you an added bother to his already difficult life. And you plan to value that, now. You’re going to get better, stronger, faster. No more passivity. And maybe if you do this, you can ease the guilt brewing inside before you completely drown in it.

“Yes, sir.”

Determination has risen back inside you, but a ghost of a smile only reappears on your face when you hear him yawn, something you’re one hundred percent sure you’ve never seen nor heard before.

“Are you actually sleepy, Lieutenant?” you tease quietly, “it’s not even 11 PM yet.”

“You should be happy,” he mutters, “all your efforts trying to chase away my insomnia and it’s finally worked.”

If not for the trees providing you safety in the form of the absence of light, you wouldn’t be as bold to do what you do next. Closing your eyes, you lean back and hunch down, resting your cheek against his chest. He stiffens a little at the close contact, but doesn’t say anything or push you away. You won’t kiss him, but you can allow yourself this much, just to seek comfort in the safety he provides just by being there. He’s so, so warm.

The horse rides on, and Levi keeps his arms around you and on the reigns.

Truthfully, as you listen to his heartbeat, you don’t think you’ll ever know who comforts who most tonight.

____________________

The next morning, you’re there before he is, on your fourth lap by the time he walks up. If Levi’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. He only takes his new spot on the new grounds at this new base, and watches you from afar.

Naturally, he still barks at you that your stance is sloppy when you start doing your squats, asking you snidely how many times he’s told you that you need to squat down at a ninety degree angle and just what you did in your early mathematics classes if that’s what you think ninety degrees is. He still presses you into the ground with his foot when you attempt to do a push-up without going all the way down. And he absolutely still withholds your water privileges until you’re practically dizzy from your activities.

Except this time, you have no complaints. You do what you’re ordered.

And maybe stop to give him one or two pointed glares.

When he dismisses you, you find that you’ve still got a bit of energy left. You’re certainly not sleepy.

“Will you spar with me?”

Levi raises a brow, unimpressed. “So you can get your ass handed to you again?”

“I’ve improved!” you cry out indignantly.

“Oh yeah, you’ve made great strides.” He snorts, digging his heel into the ground and raising his fists. “Okay, (L/N), give me your best shot.”

With Lieutenant Levi, the thing that matters most is the element of surprise. Last time, you went for his legs, so he’ll see that coming. You quickly scan his stance - how is it that you two have spent so much time together and you still haven’t located a single weakness of his? Not that that’s what you’re doing anymore, but it would sure be helpful in a fight. Needless to say, you need to think fast.

So before either of you can move, you cry out in pain, clutching your side. “Shit! I - I think I pulled a muscle - ow, fuck -”

Levi’s beside you in an instant, hand reaching down to inspect your stomach. Damn, you’re a better actor than you give yourself credit for. As soon as he reaches out, you grab his bicep with both your hands, plant your feet, and yank up as hard as you can.

No, you probably can’t throw him over your shoulder. But you can at least try to whirl him around you and then tackle him while he tries to regain his balance.

Well, you could if Levi didn’t twist his arm out of your grasp within a single second and grab you in a chokehold.

“Playing dirty, are we?” he whispers in your ear, “naughty girl, I should keep you here an extra hour just for that.”

Gasping for breath, you pat his elbow repeatedly in defeat. Surrender, you surrender! After holding on to lord his victory over you just a little longer, he lets you go, and you suck air into your lungs desperately.

He doesn’t make you stay any longer, but nonetheless, you certainly lose your brawl. How disappointing.

“I’ll...get you...next time…”

Levi’s lips quirk into what can be taken for a smile. “No, you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

____________________

You lose the next time.

____________________

And the next time.

____________________

And the next.

____________________

It’s a whole two months later when Ricky laughs again.

There’s nothing funny about the situation at all - everyone is freezing their ass off in the middle of nowhere and questioning just how surviving a snowy mountain is going to improve their combat skills. No one was brave enough to ask this question before, though, so now all they can do is deal with it. The problem is that your group is definitely lost.

“Well, this is great,” Gunther groans, sinking on his knees into the snow. You wonder how he can handle the cold biting past his clothes and into his skin.

Ophelia, who’s been pessimistic since the beginning, seems to take this as her permission to sling her bag off and completely give up. “We’re going to die up here.”

You huff. “We’re not going to die, but yeah, we’re gonna lose some merit. They’ll probably send a search party by morning.”

“T-tell us, (F/N),” Gunther says in that smarmy tone of his that makes you pity his parents, “how exactly are we going to make it till morning? You got a fur coat hiding away in those custom boots?”

Ophelia snorts and you narrow your eyes at him. “If I did, I wouldn’t share it. And they’re not custom, it’s actually a very popular brand item.”

“Well, mind trading with me? All I have are these ratty ones.”

“I do mind, actually.”

Ricky hasn’t said anything, only observed your interactions with a blank expression. You let out a pained breath, filled with disdain at seeing your precious oxygen visibly. Yeah, you’ve decided you’re not a fan of the cold, not one bit. You’re already one of those people who is cold all the time, and this isn’t really helping. Apparently no one has any idea, and although Gunther was assigned team leader, you decide to step in.

“We have two options.” You hug yourself, rubbing your arms in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. “We could try to find some shelter and stay alive till morning, or…” You sigh, not really a fan of all the work that goes into option two, but it’s still the one you’re leaning towards. “Or we get our shit together and find out how to get back to the cabin tonight.”

You’ve got something to prove, after all.

Ophelia’s teeth are chattering as she says, “W-where the h-hell will we find shelter out here?”

“Nowhere. That’s why we’re gonna go with the other idea.”

“Someone’s eager to hold onto her position,” Gunther accuses, “even if it means sacrificing her team!”

“Oh my God, who am I sacrificing? Who have I sacrificed so far? No one!”

“Yet!”

You make a rude gesture and stalk off on your own. The others call after you, but only Ricky follows, grabbing your shoulder before you misstep and tumble into the icy ground. You groan loudly, this is so not how the night was supposed to go. You have to make it back.

“You’ve changed,” Ricky says all of a sudden. “I’ve known that for a while, and I know that we all have, but you’ve done a complete turnaround. I mean…” He hesitates, considering his words carefully. You wonder if he knows that just by doing that, he’s showing that he’s changed quite a bit too. “You would have decided to give up on this by now. So what’s the deal?”

Honestly, it’s surprising that it’s taken him this long to ask. Nonetheless, these days you’re glad to hear Ricky speak at all, so anything he says is welcome. That doesn’t mean you know how to answer his question, though.

“Like you said, we’ve all changed. I just decided to…” You trail off and shiver, rubbing your hands together.

“Give a shit?”

You give him a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Ricky nods, looking satisfied enough with the answer. There’s a slight shift in his expression as he peers at you. “It’s not out of pity, right?” When you look confused, he clarifies. “Not out of pity for me. I know I don’t matter that much to you - I just mean, if you feel bad for everything that’s happened, to everyone, you shouldn’t.”

Scoffing, you glare at him, with crossed arms. “Who said you don’t matter to me?”

“Do I?” He grins, looking genuinely surprised. “Me, the outer city peasant?”

This time you allow yourself to speak without thinking. Sometimes, the moment just calls for it. “Yeah, well, we rich folk have to do some charity work sometimes.”

That’s when Ricky laughs, and oh, how you’ve missed the sound. He throws his head back, looking up to the sky like he’s praying. Snowflakes coat his cheeks, and when he looks back at you, his eyes are bright, and he’s gazing at you in the same way you’re sure he once gazed at his poor, lovely little sister who couldn’t make it long enough to see her brother step up and become a hero of humanity.

Then he grabs your arm, yanking you forward.

“Come on, twerp.” He ignores your protests that his hand is freezing. “Let’s get you off this mountain.”

____________________

Okay, Petra definitely knows that you’re trying to compete with her for the number one position. She’s just too nice to say anything, so the two of you just silently try to outdo each other in every which way. Teacher asks a question in class? Either your hand or her’s will fly up right away. Grumman walks by? Well, the two of you are saluting faster than anyone else can even ball their fist. There’s an advanced exercise at 2 PM? You both finished your exercises early and are there at 1:30.

You’re not even sure when you started competing with her, but here you are.

And to be fair, you’re neck and neck with the star student. In classes, you’re basically equal, her because she works hard and studies and you because you retain information well and can play suck up rather well. As for hand to hand combat, you pretty much top your entire Cadet Corp except maybe Traute. When people are paired up to train to steal the knife from each other, no one ever wants to partner up with you (which both hurts and is rather flattering). Yeah, in a fight, you’re pretty much secure. It’s the 3D maneuvering where Petra has you beat.

Now, you’re not bad at using your ODM gear, not by any means. She’s just a damn natural. Any maneuver that takes you five days to pull off is one she can manage in three. A part of you wishes that she actually was a horrible person - then you could at least use your dislike of her as a motivator to beat her. Alas, you’re quite fond of the other girl.

These complaints are what you find yourself telling Levi one morning, after requesting that he watch you fly through the forest. Nowadays it wasn’t entirely unusual for you to stay past 6 AM, either doing extra training or just talking to him. He’d complied, and you’d gotten gear for the both of you to use in the forest.

Seeing him in action only serves to make you even more grouchy about your own skills. Levi’s already fast enough on his feet; with the ODM gear he seems nearly invincible and you have an inkling he’s not performing to the best of his abilities just to monitor you. When you finally tire yourself out, you grumpily toss the gear off, head out into the grass, check for bugs and flop down onto your back once you’re sure it’s safe. “I don’t get it,” you moan unhappily, “why can’t I do it as well as you can?”

Levi steps in front of you, his head blocking out the rising sun. Ah, perfect. “It’s because you enjoy it too much.”

“Oh, is that your professional diagnosis?”

He sucks in a long breath, which you know translates to you’re so fucking difficult, damn shitty brat. “My professional diagnosis is that you’re a dumbass.”

“Aww, thanks, sir! But I only take medical advice from licensed professionals.”

Levi notes your position and moves out of the way to allow the sun to blind you. You wince, squinting in the sunlight, and your hand comes up to shield your poor eyes. Averting your gaze, you peer straight up. In the middle of spring, from the open grounds down below, the clouds have never looked more beautiful.

“Wanna lay down with me? It’s therapeutic. The grass feels great.” You beckon him down next to you, but he shakes his head, instead choosing to deliver a small kick to your side. You hiss - someone seriously needs to do something about the lieutenant’s violent tendencies.

“Do you think I’m doing this so you can look at the pretty sky?”

Tossing your arm over your eyes, you say, “No, you’re doing this because you’re interested in me.”

The sound that Levi lets out is so strangled that you immediately look at him, concerned. He turns away from you for a second, scoffing with his cheeks tinted slightly red, and that’s when you realize he took your statement in an entirely wrong way. You’re a bit offended nonetheless, he doesn’t have to act like it’s disgusting to even think about you in that way. People have been interested in you! It’s happened, you’re a delight! He’s just blind, that’s all.

“I meant interested in me as a subordinate.” You sit up, knees hunched to your chest. “Now that Commander Erwin is in charge, everyone knows you’re going to get promoted soon too. Get a whole squad all to yourself.” Grinning at him, you let your palms rest on the blades of grass beneath you. “Hunting for your own lieutenant, Captain Levi?”

Huh. The title rolls right off the tongue. It suits him pretty well.

He looks at you strangely for a second, before holding his hand out. As you tug yourself up, he mutters, “Please, if I was going to have a lieutenant, I’d need someone competent.”

“Well,” you drawl, not bothered, “I’m not interested anyways.” At least there, you’re being truthful. Even if the thought makes you feel ashamed.

You and him continue to bicker as you walk across the grounds to put the gear back in the shed. While you don’t exactly walk slowly, you don’t go at your fastest pace either, itching to prolong the time that the two of you share. A stark contrast to the first few weeks you trained with him, when all you could think about was going back to bed. Now, nearly a year and a half later, you’re not sleepy, you’re not angry, and you don’t hate him.

When it’s time to part ways, you pretend as though you’re studying him carefully.

“What?” Levi snaps, but there’s no bite to his bark.

“I stand by what I said earlier, about you wanting a lieutenant.” A small smirk spreads on your lips. “But I also think you just have a crush on me.”

He stares at you. A second passes. Two seconds.

Three seconds.

You burst out laughing, hitting his shoulder. “You should see your face! Did you think I was serious?”

He looks at you with his eyes narrowed crossly, only serving to make you laugh louder.

“Minx,” he finally says, shaking his head, “a fucking minx is what you are, (L/N).”

____________________

“It’s raining!”

The excitement with which you squeal those words has nearly everyone rolling their eyes, but they follow you out anyways. It’s nice of them to abandon their lunch for this momentous occasion, rain during the summertime. You feel a rush of love for your fellow cadets, specifically for the three people who are right besides you. Of course you’ve always considered Millie your best friend, but Ricky and Stephen had filled a piece of your soul that you didn’t know was empty. This is your family, and you love them.

“Stephen!” Millie’s voice comes, scolding next to you. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“He still doesn’t know what regiment he wants to join.”

“Leave him alone,” Ricky asserts, taking a swipe at her that she ducks.

“I know what I want to join,” Stephen mumbles, “I’m just not sure…”

Somehow, you know exactly what he’s considering. The rain gives you courage.

“The Scouts are wonderful.” Stephen turns to you, surprised, and you let out a giddy laugh. “They’re amazing. Brave, and heroic, and they kick ass. You’d do really well there, Stephen.”

You’re rambling, but by some miracle, Stephen takes your words to heart and makes his decision.

“Okay,” he says, with a wide smile on his face. “I’ll join the Scouts.”

Ricky coughs into his fist, something that sounds suspiciously like kiss ass. You’re too enthralled by your current environment to notice that, or Millie’s disapproving glare.

Bathing in the rain, you spin around until you’re dizzy. Droplets pour down your face, soaking your hair, your uniform, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. This, really, is what happiness is. The chance to fool around in the rainfall, to throw your hands up and feel precisely just how little of a speck you are in the vast, wide world. Slipping a hand into your bun, you let your hair down, closing your eyes as you soak up the thrill.

Everyone is chattering in groups around you. No one is mourning the lunch that has been long forgotten in the mess hall.

There’s grey eyes watching you when you open yours, a fond smile that you think he probably let slip past the tough exterior on his face. No one can resist this weather.

Maybe third time’s the charm. Even if it’s not, it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

You raise your hand and wave at him.

From the distance, still watching you closely, Levi sighs softly and then waves back.

Something you’ve never felt before bubbles up in your chest. It threatens to consume you as the others become a blur in the precipitation around you. You feel light on your feet, almost as though you’re not even touching the ground anymore. Affection? Adoration? For him?

Maybe it’s because of the stupid way he holds his teacup. Or maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the funniest, most ridiculous person he’s ever met. It might be how his touch always lingers, how he’s always warm, and how he never fails to catch you when you stumble. How about that dumb cravat, why is he always wearing that?

His sarcastic quips, always ready to fire back at you. The way he brushed your tears away that time he’d found you crying. How he never pushes you to open up more than you want to, and how truthful he is. The feeling you get when he smiles or laughs at you, knowing it’s a rarity for him. His eyes, a blend of silver and charcoal that you could stare into for hours and still never get tired of.

It’s here, dancing in the summer rain, that you realize something that really should have been painfully obvious. There’s a reason you notice all these things. There’s a reason your heart is fluttering right now. There’s a reason that time has frozen, and there’s a reason you feel like you’re floating a thousand miles up in the air.

It’s because you like him. You really, really like him.

Oh, shit.

reader on her first day: wow levi’s eyes are beautiful

reader whenever levi is in front of her: damn he is so alluring

reader every time levi so much as glances at her: does he like me?

reader for two years: if levi asked me to have sex with him i would

also reader: omg i have a crush on him??? how is that possible?????

falling for a guy just because he finally waved back at you after like sixteen months is kinda weird but you do you girl.

one chapter left! :O

#aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #valkyrie stories

209 notes · View notes

papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.

I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.

This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:

Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.

No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.

Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!

-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:

Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:

Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.

The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.

Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.

That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.

You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.

You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.

Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?

Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...

- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)

In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:

“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well.

“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom.

“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying. The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks.

“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.

-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2) for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.

-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-

Side Notes:

I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!

Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.

Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~

Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.

Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!

I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3

Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~

#Fruits Basket #manga #fruits basket manga #manga spoilers #reading paper #love the new content!#Hate the missing content #lol

63 notes · View notes

jelly-belly-fish · 3 years

Text

Here’s part two hope you enjoy!

The First Meeting Pt. 2

Gregory could feel himself practically jumping out of the tiny compartment. He welcomed the dark room. It was slightly brighter now due to the curtains on the far other side being a bit more open now. Gregory was so happy to be back out. He was so ecstatic that he could cry.

Gregory landed on his feet, his legs bent and wobbly. However, pins and needles suddenly took over. Legs going numb for a moment, Gregory started to fall over, only to be stopped by a metallic hand swooping in to save him.

“Woah, there,” the deep voice quietly eased, “Be careful, your legs aren’t used to you standing up yet.”

“Th-Thanks,” Gregory stammered, one hand on the side of his head.

He placed his other hand on something hard, smooth, and metallic as he regained his balance. It felt like something similar to a chest. Then it just clicked in Gregory’s mind about whom he was speaking to.

Eyes widen, Gregory slightly looked up to see his savior. His jaw dropped after seeing that his hunch was right. Kneeled on one knee next to the boy was none other than Glamrock Freddy. The robotic bear stared down at the boy, his blue eyes glowed softly in the darkness. His face was melted with sadness and concern. His lit eyes were wilted with compassion.

Gregory’s throat went dry. His heart could almost break out of his chest from how fast it was beating. He had so many things to say, yet he found himself speechless.

“Are you alright...?” The bear finally spoke, placing a hand on the child’s back out of support and concern.

“Y-yeah...” Gregory was able to muster out, “I-I’m fine.”

“Those boys,” Freddy looked over to the curtain slightly, a tiny bit of anger in his tone, “They shouldn’t have treated you like that. Who were they?”

Gregory shuffled with his hands and looked down at the floor in defeat. “My...” Gregory murmured, “My friends...”

Freddy looked back at the boy in shock.

“Friends?” He gasped, “My child, friends never do that to each other!”

Gregory leaned his head against bear’s chest, trying to hold back his tears. He knew Freddy was right. Gregory has known that fact for a long time.

“I-I don’t have any other choice, so what else can I do,” Gregory started to feel himself hiccup, “I have to be their punching bag...”

Freddy gave the boy a silent, perplexed look.

What did this child do to deserve such cruelty?

The little boy starting squeaking with quiet sobs. He buried his face into the bear’s chest, his weeping growing louder as the dam holding back the tears broke. Gregory was finally letting it all out. All the pain he has endured all this time...it was finally getting to him.

“I-I-I know they’re not my friends. I know that, b-but—“ Gregory sobbed.

Freddy pulled the boy into a gentle hug. Gregory felt the bear embrace him, and Gregory embraced him back. He felt the glittery texture of the robot, and despite being a machine, Freddy oddly smelled like birthday cake. It was comforting. Gregory’s insides became warm and fuzzy. He needed this comfort. He needed it so bad...

There was a silence between them for a while. The only sound was Gregory’s softly whimpering.

“What’s your name, little one?” Freddy quietly asked, breaking the silence.

The boy stood back a bit, rubbing his squinted eyes.

“Gregory...” he sniffled, “Gregory...Evans..”

“Gregory...” Freddy repeated, lost in thought, “That’s a nice name, Gregory.”

“Thanks,” Gregory smiled softly, “I’m named after my great-grandpa.”

“Well, I’m sure he’s happy to know that he shares the same name with such a sweet boy.” Freddy gently laughed.

Freddy’s chuckle soon turned into a mechanical sigh.

“Gregory, listen...” Freddy looked at the boy with a solemn expression, “You can’t let yourself be treated like that by those boys.”

“Yeah, I know...” Gregory responded, “but no one else wants to be my friend, so I have to be friends with them or else I’m all alone at school.”

“Gregory, that doesn’t mean you should let them treat you like that,” Freddy lectured, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“But it was a prank!” Gregory rebutdtaled.

“Prank or not, that was cruel,” Freddy explained, “Shoving you into my chest cavity against your screams and pleas. Friends shouldn’t do that.”

The boy frowned a little. The bear had a point.

“Speaking of friends,” Freddy continued, a smile suddenly on his muzzle, “Who said I didn’t want to be yours?”

Gregory’s eyes gleamed with sudden excitement.

“You-You want to be my f-friend!” Gregory exclaimed.

He could hardly believe it. THE Freddy Fazbear wanted to be his friend!

Freddy happily but slowly nodded.

“Mmhm,” the bear confirmed, “In fact, I have something for you. A token of our newfound friendship.”

The bear got up from his crouched position, now towering over the young boy. The little child was now gazing up at the bear, curious of what the gift could be.

He watched as the bear walked over to his makeup station, which resided in the upper left corner of the room.

His eyes being the only reliable light source in the room, Freddy felt around the table. He passed over eye shadow, face paint, glitter, and a bunch of other makeup supplies. They were not what Freddy was looking for. Suddenly, his eyes found themselves looking at a little box. It was small and metal with red text decorating the box. “EMERGENCIES ONLY” read the text.

“There you are.” Freddy said to himself.

He picked up the box in his two hands and turned back in the direction of Gregory.

“Now, I know this is supposed to be for the staff members,” Freddy walked over and knelt next to the boy again, “But I think you will make better use of it.”

Gregory cocked his head at the box. He didn’t know what was in the box yet, but he got the feeling that it was pretty important.

“What’s in there?” Gregory asked curiously.

Freddy gave the child a warm smile.

“Open it and find out,” was Freddy’s only response.

Gregory did what he was told. When he opened the box, he let out a small gasp.

Inside sat a watch. A strange and unique watch. It had a black screen that was surrounded by a light brown, rubber protector. The protector had little bear ears and a top hat, making it look more like Freddy Fazbear himself. It looked so bulky and high tech, just thinking of what it was capable of gave Gregory a headache. Despite that, he wore the biggest smile on his face.

“This is so cool,” he exclaimed, “What is it?!”

Freddy pulled out the watch from its box.

“This...” the bear began proudly, “Is the Freddy Fazwatch. It’s supposed to help the adults when someone bad is in the building or is causing them trouble.”

He looked over at the boy with gentle eyes.

“May I have your wrist please, Gregory?” Freddy sweetly questioned.

Gregory stuck out his left arm. He giddily watched as the bear played with the size and adjustments on the watch’s band.

“This will let me know when you’re in danger, and gives you complete access to all the bells and whistles to the place.” Freddy continued his explanation, “But you should only really be using the ability to call me over.”

He snapped on the watch to Gregory’s skinny wrist. A little “ba-leep” came from the watch as it automatically started to power on.

Gregory pulled his arm back in excitement, mesmerized by all the crazy abilities and buttons the watch had. Flashlight battery tracker, camera systems, maps of the entire place, and so much more.

“So know that I will always be there to help you Gregory,” Freddy finished, “No matter how big or small the problem is, I’ll be there for you, little one.”

Without even thinking, Gregory jumped into the bear’s arms, hugging him tightly around the neck. He could feel tears of joy starting to bead around his eyes.

“Thank you..” he whispered to the bear.

“Of course, kiddo.” Freddy responded kindly.

He then returned the gentle hug, holding the boy close in his arms.

“Happy birthday.”

#fnaf #fnaf security breach #glamrock freddy #fnaf gregory #fnaf sb #fnaf glamrock freddy #fnaf fanfiction #fanfiction

102 notes · View notes

everything-person · 3 years

Text

Last Voyage

Summary: Emma surprises Killian with an old fashioned voyage with his old crew then Killian has a surprise for Emma

*cough cough*

“You alright?”

“Fine love. Just needed to clear my throat.”

Killian and Emma were walking along the beach in the early morning slowly making their way to the docks.

“We’re almost there.”

“What’s with all the secrecy love?”

Emma smiles up at him there was a shine in her eyes, “You’ll see.”

They made their way down the pier where the Jolly Roger was docked.

“Do you wish to have another one of our private adventures aboard the Jolly Roger? If that’s all you could have just said Swan.”

“Not this time.”

They made their way into the deck where they were greeted by some familiar faces.

“Welcome aboard Captain.”

Before them stood Henry, Hope, Smee and some of his old crew.

Killian smiled while also furrowing his brow. Turning to his wife for answers.

“I thought you might wish to have a day at sea. Re-live your glory days.”

“My glory days started the day I met you Swan.” Picking up her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. “Will you be joining me, love?”

“No,” she whispered, “not this time. I have somethings to take care of.”

He turned to Henry and Hope. He approached them with open arms.

“Then it’s looks like we’ll be having all the fun. Don’t worry love I’ll have them back before Sundown and we will eagerly enrapture you with our tales of our adventurous day.”

Henry looked down before meeting his eyes, “Actually we promised mom we’d help her with her stuff today. Maybe tonight we can play dice. I might just beat you this time.”

“Oh then perhaps I should give Dave a call. Show him what a pirates life was like.”

Henry shifted clearing his throat before saying, “Uh Grandpa is taking care of the sheriff office while we are helping mom today. Sorry but you stuck with your old crew for today.”

Killian nodded at Henry before turning his attention to his daughter. She had the same shine in her eyes as her mother, biting her lip, looking anywhere but at him.

“What’s wrong lass?”

She inhaled a deep breath before speaking, “Nothing Papa. I’ll just miss you.”

He cupped his daughters face, “Don’t worry, my little cygnet. I’ll be home tonight.”

She nodded embracing him. She burrows her face in his chest breathing him in. “I love you Papa.”

Killian squeezes his daughter not sure what has her so distraught, “I love you to my little cygnet. From your first breath far beyond my last.”

Hope let go heading to the gang plank quickly, without another glance to her father.

Henry approached the man that’s been a mentor, a father figure to him. Wrapping him in his arms, “Good bye Killian.”

Letting go he followed his sister down the gang plank waiting for his mother at the bottom.

Killian turned to see the love of his life standing there. She took slow step towards him her eyes never leaving his. Reaching up held his face, her eyes scanned every inch.

“What’s wrong Emma?”

She’s hooked her head offering him a smile, “Nothing. It just. . . sometimes I can’t believe that blacksmith I tied to a tree that said I need him alive would be so right.”

Killian chuckled, “Aye. Sometimes I can’t believe I forgot about that damned bar wench that kissed the hell out of me.”

She smiled, leaning up catch his lips in a soft kiss. Pulling away she rested her forehead against his, “I love you Killian. Thank you for everything.”

“I love you too Emma. Forever and always.”

Her hands slid down his cheeks to his neck over his shoulders down his arm grasping his hook and hand. Her eyes never leaving his, she started backing away holding onto his hand until she was to far away to hold on any more. Letting her hand fall she turned making her way off the ship. Henry reaches out his hand to help her off the last step intertwining her arm with him.

“When did you become such a gentleman?”

“I’m always a gentleman mom. I learned from the best.”

They made their way up the pier. They say and watched as the ship set sail. Her Captain on the quarter deck waving to his family before turning to wheel where he belonged.

As they stood watching Hope couldn’t hold in her emotions anymore. A sob escaped her lips, as tears started pouring out her eyes. “He should be home. We should be with him.”

Emma embraces her daughter, “That’s never how he wanted to go.”

“But he was fine. He was walking and knew who we were.”

“He also thought Grandpa was alive. He didn’t see us. He probably saw you as the little girl who would ask him to close the window so Peter Pan couldn’t get her. He probably saw me as the ten year old boy he helped rescue from Neverland.”

Emma pulled away looking at her children who have grown into adults that stood before her now.

“Yes but he is so proud of the people you have become. He was so happy to be a father and be apart of this family. He loves you both so much.”

Hope let out another sob as Henry wrapped an arm around her, letting one lone tear slide down his cheek.

“Besides it’s for the best he didn’t see me as I am now. A wrinkly old crown with gray straw for hair,” Emma let out a breathy laugh.

Henry shook his head, “He saw you as you actually are. He always has. The beautiful Savior.”

Emma smiled at her son, “Come on let’s go home.”

Later Emma was going through some things in their room. Remembering all the good times they’ve shared in this house. The wonderful life he shared with her.

She opened his night stand finding the copy of Treasure Island she gave him.

“This is ridiculous. This person obviously had no idea what they were bloody talking about,” Killian muttered.

Emma rolled over, “Babe Go to bed.”

“This book is an atrocity love.”

“Then stop reading it.”

“Why would I do that when they just started the mutiny?”

She laughed to herself. She would always try showing him how this realm reviews pirates with movies and books. Every time he would get riled up but any time she suggested to turn it off or throw the book out he would refuse having to see how it ends.

The next thing she pulled out was a familiar black scarf.

“So now you’re a gentleman?”

“Giants can smell blood. And I’m always a gentleman.” Hook said before putting liquid on her hand.

“Ah! Ow! What is that?”

“Rum and a bloody waste of it.”

He gently wrapped her hand with the soft material tying it off with his mouth. Her fingers lightly brushing against his cheek.

Emma sighed remembering the spark she felt. Wondering not for the first time how much more time they would’ve had if she trusted him. If they came back together. How different their adventures would’ve been.

Something shiny caught her eye and she reached in and pulled out the last item in the drawer.

It was one of his hooks.

Killian kicked open their bedroom door while his lips fused to her. Her legs wrapped around his hips her latched around his neck.

Coming up for air Emma whispers, “Never do that again.”

“I’ll never leave your side even if the gods try to rip us a apart,” he promised before capturing her lips again.

Falling onto the bed they began divesting each other of their clothing. Killian reaches to take off his hook. Emma reaches her hand up, only in her bra and underwear, looking at him through her eyelashes.

“Leave it on.”

Killian groans, “You little minx.”

Emma sighed. As the memory fades away. So many nights, and some days, filled with passion. Both of them always willing to show the other how much they love them. Always up to meet a challenge.

Moving to put the items back in their respective places the book falls from her lap and clatters to the floor. Emma places the scarf and hook back before reaching down picking up the book. When she lifts it a note falls from its pages. Placing the book on the bed she once again reaches down and grabs the fallen piece of paper.

Unfolding it she is greeted with Killian hand writing.

‘Dearest Swan,

I’m sorry. I never wished to leave and now I have no choice in the matter. It seems to be a cruel joke. To be sent back to you by the gods themselves only to have my mind unravel while I’m still with you. I know I don’t have much time left. And I plan to cherish every moment with you I can.

When I do go, all I wish is to be at your side. For the last thing I hold is our family in my arms. The last thing I touch be your face. The last thing I taste be you lips. The last thing I see is the love in your eyes for me. If I am to drawn my last breath I wish it is your kiss that steals it.

And when I am gone. I will keep my promise I made all those years ago. I will move on but I promise you no heaven the gods can provide will compare to the life I have lived with you.

You are the love on my life. The mother of my children. My wife. My savior. My true love.

However long we are apart that will never change. My love will stay with you and I hope give you comfort in your time of need. And when it is your time I can only hope that the gods will once again reunite us.

Until then I ask that every day you live. Hug our children and give them an extra squeeze for me.

With all my love. Yours from the end of the realms and time.

Killian’

Tears fell freely from her eyes. They were never sure if Killian knew what was happening to him. Now she had proof that he did.

A noise pulled her from her thoughts. Still clutching the note to her chest she made her way downstairs. Sharp knocking was coming from her front door.

She opened it to find a pair of blue eye that she engraved into her memory.

“Killian.”

He bent down wrapping her in his arms, burying his face in her neck.

“Sorry ma’am I know you weren’t expecting us so soon but he insisted on turning around and coming home,” Smee explained his signature hat in his hands.

“That’s alright. Thank you for bringing him home.”

Smee nodded, closing the door as he left.

“Why did you send me away love?”

“I thought you’d like to be at sea when the time came.”

Killian finally lifted his head, his gaze burning into her, “Don’t you know Swan all I have ever wanted was to be with you.”

Emma gave him a sad smile, “I do now.”

They made their way up to their bed laying down curling up together one last time. They not sure how long they laid there just enjoying their time together.

Killian reaches up brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “I think it’s time love.”

Emma nodded scooting closer.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“You aren’t,” she said with a shaky breath her lip quivering, “You will always be with me. And I’ll follow you shortly.”

She leaned up capturing his lips once last time. She pulls away resting her forehead against his.

“I love you Emma Swan,” he whispered.

She watched as the deep blue eyes that looked last all her walls that have always saw her closed for the last time.

A tear fell from her eye landing on his cheek sliding down his face.

“I love you Killian Jones.”

#ouat #once upon a time #emma swan #captain hook #killian jones #cs fanfic #cs ff #cs one shot #cs angst

30 notes · View notes

littledrummeraussie · 4 years

Text

summer nights.

Word count: 4000+

Warnings: casual drinking. tipsy flirting. first time having sex with each other. handjob. fingering. slight nipple kink. sex with protection. mentiones of possible future encounters. consent. because consent is sexy.

Author’s note: when Alice @babylonashton posted this freakin’ photoset of Ashton in that black tank top - I basically lost it and told my friend how I wanna feel his soft warm skin against mine. Cue to me writing a sweet summer fic where reader is lucky enough to feel that soft warm skin up close.

A big shoutout to @mymindwide for letting me use her again as my emotional punching bag. Love you more than you know.

Feedback is appreciated!

masterlist.

- - - - -

Luke has been bugging you for weeks about a game night/long weekend getaway vacation he has planned with his friends, saying that he thought you might have fun and it would finally give you the chance to meet his oh so famous band members. When you still weren’t sure about your answer he asked his girlfriend too, who practically begged you to join them for those few days, saying how they needed the girl power if they wanted to slay the boys in all the games they have planned. In the end you needed to agree, not being able to say no to both their puppy dog eyes and pouty lips.

You needed to give it to them that all their friends were amazing, and you did feel like one of the group from the moment you’ve stepped out of their car. They quickly started setting up a grill and the games they have brought with themselves, everyone settling into their rooms and the new environment for the next 4 days. Luke took some time to introduce you to his band members, and the ice was broken in seconds, all three of them acting like you’ve known each other for a long time now.

By the third night it didn’t surprise you anymore if Michael started eating from your plate, if Calum shared his beer with you while putting Duke in your lap for ear scratches, or if Ashton started snapping photos of the two of you while you pattered around the kitchen. Luke seemed absolutely happy with how everything turned out, and you thanked him and his girlfriend countless times for making you come with them.

To mix things up a little they’ve decided to put everyone’s name into a cup, pulling out two pieces of papers to make teams for an upcoming beer-pong challenge. Ashton gave you a pointed look when they’ve announced you as a team, saying how you are winning this thing, even if you end up drunk as a skunk. After your first failed attempt he stepped behind you, holding onto your wrist to help you aim the ball, which quickly landed in one of the cups, making Calum grimace as he drank his beer.

* * *

”No, no, don’t do it! Don’t! Doooon’t!” Michael yelled as Ashton aimed the ball again, throwing it into the last of the cups, sticking his tongue out at his friend. ”Dammit mate!”

”We won!” Ashton announced it with a laugh, quickly wrapping his arms around you as he picked you up. ”Drink up, Clifford!”

”Ash, no, don’t drop me!” you squealed as he was spinning you around, holding onto his shoulders as he finally put you down, his cheeks pink and a smile pulling at his lips.

”We make such a good team,” he gave you a high five before pulling you in for another hug.

And that was a moment. It felt like electricity ran through the both of you as he wrapped his strong arms around you, his skin warm and soft where it touched you. You wanted to pull away. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. His grip on you got stronger for a second, then he was letting you go, but his eyes were shining, lips parted as he quickly licked them, and you were sure he was trying to catch his breath the same way that you did.

”Are you done celebrating or can we finally have dinner?” Calum asked from his place by the fire, and you gave him a nod, pulling away from Ashton.

”We don’t want you to starve, Cal,” Ash huffed at him, rolling his eyes in a comical way. ”Could have started without us.”

”You would have stuck with the remaining salad, mate,” Luke laughed at him, and with that motioned for you two to join them.

* * *

The night went on with lots of talking, all of you feeling a little buzzed after your game of beer-pong and the drinks you had during dinner. Ashton sat on the other side of the fire, explaining something to his friends about this or that, but his eyes found you whenever there was a lull in the conversation, returning the smiles you’ve sent his way. It was about an hour later that he went inside the house, coming back with a blanket that he wrapped around your shoulders, sitting down and putting his arm around you to pull you to his side.

”Thanks,” you felt a blush colouring your cheeks as he made himself comfortable. ”Do you need the other half?”

”I’m fine, thank you,” he smiled at you, rubbing your arm. ”I’m never really cold, so this is nice for me.”

”Yeah, I’ve felt that,” you whispered, almost like an afterthought, gaze lingering on his arms and the black tank top pulling tightly over his chest.

”This way you don’t have to be cold either,” he gave you a wink, squeezing you to his side once again, and you let your head rest on his shoulder as you joined the conversation again.

* * *

The next thing you remembered was a chuckle against your ear and Ashton slightly shifting next to you, his hand still lightly rubbing your arm. Even in your half-asleep state you picked up on the quiet that surrounded you, the voices low and masculine around you, and you were sure the girls have already gone to bed, leaving the guys to have some time to themselves. You must have fallen asleep leaning against Ashton’s shoulder, and he was nice enough not to wake you while you napped and enjoyed the warmth radiating from his body.

”She’s out like a light,” you heard Calum say it from somewhere around the other side, a smile playing in his voice. ”You were upgraded to a pillow, mate.”

”Shh, don’t wake her,” Luke shushed Calum, and you felt Ashton trying to stifle his laugh, the sound vibrating against your cheek.

”Can’t blame her, though. We all know Ashton is a great pillow,” Michael made a comment too, and the others hummed in agreement.

”Guess this is my cue,” you felt Ashton turning towards you, his arms gently sliding around your back and under your knees, pulling you into his lap before standing up. ”I’ll take Y/N up to bed, then I’ll probably turn in too. Don’t stay up late.”

”Good night, Grandpa,” Calum snorted, and Ashton mumbled something colourful in response, making his way towards the house.

* * *

”You’re still nice and warm,” you hummed against Ashton’s neck as he took the last few steps to arrive to the first floor where all your bedrooms were.

”What, you’re not scared anymore that I’m gonna drop you?” he chuckled, tightening his arms around you as he turned the corner, looking for your room.

”You just want me to compliment you on how strong you are,” you giggled lightly, and he laughed against your hair, opening the door with his shoulder.

”Aren’t you just lucky to have your own personal walking-talking furnace pillow?” he put you down on the bed, hands sliding down to your feet. ”Alright, shoes.”

”I could just kick those off, you know,” you buried your face against the pillow, eyes barely open as you looked at Ashton fumbling with the laces on your shoes.

”It’s no trouble at all,” he smiled at you quickly, thumb brushing over your ankle before he tugged off the other one too. ”Guess you’re all set, love.”

”Thank you,” you mumbled, and Ash just nodded, fixing the blanket around your feet.

”I’ll see you in the morning,” he hesitated for a moment then stood up, stepping to the door. ”Good night, Y/N.”

”Good night… Ashton?”

”Yeah?” he turned back, leaning against the doorframe.

”Would you mind staying?” you bit your lip as you let the question hang between the two of you. ”I’m– still a little cold…”

”The blanket’s not enough?” a grin pulled at his lips as he closed the door behind himself.

”Definitely not as warm as you,” you confessed, lifting the sheets up as an invitation. ”What do you say?”

Ashton shook his head with a smile, already kicking off his shoes before climbing onto the bed and over you, his strong arms bracketing you as he leaned forward. He rested his forehead against yours, the tip of his nose tickling your skin as you relaxed against the pillow, arms slowly wrapping around his shoulders to keep him close. Ash sighed happily as you ran your fingers up his neck, stroking through his hair at the nape, and he gently pressed his lips against the corner of your mouth.

”Wanted to kiss you since the moment you’ve made me pancakes at one in the morning,” he lazily kissed your chin, running his lips down your throat and up to your ear, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes.

”What’s holding you back now?” you tilted your head up to lightly brush your lips against his bottom one and he hummed in response, leaning closer.

”I guess I don’t have a way out now,” he whispered on your lips, dimples appearing on his cheeks as he smiled. ”So I might as well just shut up and kiss you.”

You both chuckled at his words before Ashton cupped your face, pressing his lips against your forehead, the tip of your nose, and after a long look into each other’s eyes he finally kissed your lips. He lightly sucked on your bottom lip, tongue slowly slipping into your mouth as you relaxed into his touch, a quiet moan echoing around the room. Ashton faintly tasted like the ice cream you had a few hours ago, with a hint of the beer he must have drunk while you were sleeping on his shoulder. Your thumb brushed over the shell of his ear, fingers tangling into his dark locks just above it as you pulled him closer, all of your senses wanting more of his scent, his touch and taste. A low groan resonated against your chest where you were pressed together, his elbows and knees pushing into the mattress keeping him up above you.

”Want you closer,” you slid your hands down on his sides, fingers tangling into the hem of his tank top, slowly tugging it upwards to feel his skin against your palms. ”That’s okay?”

”More than okay, love,” Ash groaned, pushing back for another kiss as you worked the fabric up on his back, only letting go of you when you needed to pull it over his head.

Before you knew it he pulled away again, grabbing onto the blanket covering you and tossing it on the floor, just so he can take a good look at you. He was ready to climb back over you, but you were quick to kneel up in front of him, arms wrapped around his neck to kiss him again. Ashton’s arms circled your waist, pulling you to his chest as he tickled your skin, bunching the material of your shirt in his fists before pulling it off. A shiver ran through you as he massaged your back, his touch warm and curious as his fingers slid under the clasp of your bra, giving it the shortest of tugs.

”Still okay?” he rested his forehead against yours, eyes searching your eyes. ”Can I?”

”Please,” you nodded, voice just above a whisper, your own hands sliding down his chest and stomach, fingers tangling into the loops of his jeans.

”You can do that too,” he pressed a kiss on your temple, only working open the clasp when your fingers undid his button and slid the zipper down.

You pushed your head against his shoulder, looking down at his body as your hand slid inside his pants, palm curling around the hot flesh straining against his boxers, and Ashton moaned against your ear, slightly pushing forward to get more friction. His fingers grabbed your chin to tilt your head back up, pressing his lips against yours before pulling the straps of the bra down your arms, pulling back to quickly kick his jeans off, giving you the chance to get rid of your own shorts.

You took a moment to catch your breaths and admire each other’s bodies, his tan skin and tattoos on display to touch and taste, his cock hard and tenting his boxers. His eyes wandered down your neck, fingers following the path over your collarbones and breasts, thumbs rubbing your hard nipples while he kissed into your neck. Ashton’s arms were around you again, helping you lie back on the bed as he hovered above you, nose skimming down your skin as he searched for his prize, lips finally closing around your nipple, gently sucking it into his mouth.

Your fingers aimlessly stroked his hair as his teeth gave a light bite to the hard nub, his tongue massaging it to sooth the sting. He pressed his lips between your breasts, leaving short little pecks on your skin before moving to the other nipple, his mouth already back at work. You felt his thumbs hook into the sides of your panties, the rest of his fingers brushing against your thighs, asking if he can move forward, and you lifted your hips as an answer, making Ashton slip the fabric down your legs.

”You’re still wearing too much,” you laughed into his neck as he pushed himself up to you, hands sliding down his back to lightly squeeze his ass, and Ashton stifled his moan with a giggle.

”Wanna do something about it?” he pressed a quick kiss on your lips, wiggling his eyebrows.

You tugged on the waistband of his boxers, sliding it down on his thighs and Ashton kicked them off, hands gripping your legs as he turned to his side, pulling you with himself. His palm cupped your face, thumb brushing against your cheek as he kissed you long and deep, and you pressed against his chest, curling into his warm embrace. Your fingers skimmed down his arm, then up to brush against his nipple, making Ash hum against your lips and kiss you a little harder. You gave another light tweak to it, and his hips pressed forward, hard cock rubbing against your thigh as he looked for friction.

”How do you like it?” you pressed a kiss on the underside of his jaw as your fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking it up and down.

”That’s perfect,” he breathed against your hair, his noises filled with pleasure. ”You can go faster.”

”Like this?” you picked up the pace, thumb brushing over the tip to spread his precum down on his shaft, and Ashton moaned, a shiver running through him.

”Just like that, yeah.”

His hand wandered down your back, squeezing your ass before lightly caressing your thigh, fingers slowly sliding between your legs, palm cupping your wet sex. You buried your face and moans against his chest as a finger teased between your lips, giving light strokes to your clit before a second one joined, making you shift a little to give him more space.

”You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Ashton nudged his nose against yours, hazel eyes boring into yours as his thumb rubbed your clit, his digits lightly circling your entrance. ”Fingers?”

”Yeah, I like them,” you nodded while pecking his lips, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as he slowly pushed in. ”Fuck, and they feel really good.”

”Yeah, I like your hand on my cock too,” he giggled between moans, fingers slipping deeper, curling against the sweet spot inside you.

He slowly slipped his fingers in an out, stretching you as you still jerked his cock, both of you trying to stifle your noises against the other’s mouth. Then Ashton pulled away, pressing his lips against your cheek and squeezing your hips before reaching for his discarded jeans, pulling out a condom from one of his pockets.

”Did you plan on getting lucky?” you pushed your toe against his knee with a smile, and Ashton chuckled, swiping his fingers through his hair.

”It might have crossed my mind,” he confessed, already tearing the package open.

”How long have you been hiding it?” you let your eyes linger on his fingers as he expertly rolled the condom on his hard cock, giving it a few pumps as he sighed.

”On and off since our midnight kitchen date,” he lay back down beside you, pulling you to his side, squeezing your hips again. ”Definitely been hoping for it after tonight. Put them back into my pocket when I brought you that blanket. You– kinda had an effect on me while you slept.”

”Should I say sorry?” you bit your bottom lip as you reached for his cock, giving it a few strokes before guiding it between your legs, swiping the head between your folds.

”I would rather you make up for it,” a smile pulled at Ashton’s lips as his hand covered yours, pushing the tip against your entrance.

”Sounds good enough for me,” you sighed against his neck, grabbing onto his biceps as he slowly moved, sinking his cock into you.

Ashton pulled your hips closer, fully pushing his cock inside as he kissed your forehead, drawing small circles on your back as you adjusted to his size, your pussy already clenching around him, wanting to feel more of the delicious stretch. He cupped your face as he kissed you, only starting to move when you whimpered your pleas against his lips, urging him to finally make love to you. His thrusts were slow and deep, making your toes curl as the tip of his cock dragged against your sweet spot, and you couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip as he started picking up the pace.

Your nails lightly scratched his shoulder blades, leaving small crescent marks on his skin when he moved above you, pulling your legs around his waist to fuck you the way he liked it, burying his face in your neck when a loud moan escaped his lips. You didn’t want the night to end; feeling Ashton’s body against you was the sweetest thing you’ve experienced in a long time, his kisses making you dizzy and craving more and more. Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging on his dark locks as he rested his forehead against your temple, nose pushed to your cheek, his breath hot and tickling your skin.

”Want you to cum for me,” he kissed the soft spot behind your ear, hips quickly snapping against yours. ”Wanna feel you around my cock. Can you do that, angel?”

”Ash– fuck, a little more, please,” you whimpered, already feeling the pleasure building in your lower belly, tickling your spine, making you needy for it. ”Just… your fingers…”

”I’ve got you, beautiful,” he pressed his lips to yours, teeth giving the lightest of nibbles to them as he slipped his hand between your bodies, stroking your clit in quick circles. ”Good?”

”Yeah, so good,” you choked on a moan as he hit a sensitive spot, making you squeeze your legs around his waist. ”Ash– Ash, please–”

”I’m here, love,” he pulled your face against his neck, his movements never stopping as he whispered in your ear. ”Cum for me, Y/N.”

His words triggered something in you, and you felt an orgasm run through your body, making you shake from head to toe. Ashton’s arms wrapped around you as he fucked you through your pleasure, his lips and teeth leaving gentle love bites on your neck as you clenched around his cock, and you felt him slightly tremble against you, his movements getting more erratic. You squeezed your walls around him, not caring how sensitive you were, and he groaned against your ear, hips stuttering.

”Y/N–” he swallowed around a moan, fingers digging into your ass. ”Fuck, that’s good.”

”I wanna feel you too,” you kissed into his ear, teeth lightly tugging on his earring. ”Gonna give it to me, Ash? Please, I wanna feel you cum too.”

”Wish I could fill you up,” he panted, lost in his own pleasure, and you moaned at his words, squeezing more tightly around him.

”Next time, baby,” you breathed into his ear, fingers caressing the back of his neck. ”Next time you can have me.”

Ashton’s body tensed above you, his moans muffled against your neck as he stilled, hips lazily trusting into you as his cock twitched and pulsed, filling the condom with his cum. He sighed heavily as the last of his pleasure tickled his senses, burrowing against your neck with a happy sound, resting his weight on you, his skin sweaty and warm against you. You brushed kisses against his cheek, fingers drawing patterns between his shoulder blades, and Ash lightly chuckled, pushing himself up to nuzzle his nose to yours.

”Give me a sec, love,” he pecked your lips and you nodded, letting go of him as he pulled out, both of you slightly groaning at the feeling.

He quickly discarded the condom in the trashcan before climbing back next to you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you against his body. He grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed, pulling it up over your shoulders, tucking it around you.

”So you’re okay with having the other half now?” you silently giggled, pulling the blanket a bit more around his back.

”I have your naked body against me now,” he lovingly tapped your nose with his finger, making you scrunch up your face. ”Of course I wanna share.”

”You know… I’m still a little bit cold…” you squeezed your arms around his waist, and Ashton chuckled, playing along as he pulled you closer.

”Where do you need warming up, love?” he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, smiling as you tapped your own lips.

”Right here.”

Ashton leaned forward and kissed you gently, spending the next few minutes making out with each other, the soft touches and caresses helping both of you to come down from your highs. He slowly turned onto his back, pulling you as close as he could, tangling your legs together under the blankets. He let you rest your head against his chest, listening to his slowing heartbeat as his fingers played with your hair, both of you ready to fall asleep together.

”You do make a great pillow,” you mumbled against his skin, and you felt the now familiar rumble against your cheek as he chuckled, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

”Does this mean you’ll take me home with you?” he slipped his fingers against yours, interlocking them on his stomach, and you lightly squeezed them.

”I could use a body pillow like you at home, yeah. Comfy and warm. Perfect for cuddles.”

”Yeah,” he sighed happily, resting his fingers in your hair. ”I like cuddles too.”

* * *

The sound of the door slowly opening made you aware of the light in the room, and for a moment you were sure Ashton has woken up and left you, but then you felt his warm embrace around you, and you burrowed against his side again, ready to go back to sleep.

”They look cute,” you heard Luke whispering, quickly shushing the two others as they started giggling. ”Don’t, you’re gonna wake them!”

”Must have been a night,” Calum commented, clearly looking at the discarded clothes on the floor.

”Told you Ashton makes a great pillow,” Michael said again. ”And Y/N clearly agrees on that.”

”When you’ve stopped being weirdos… could you leave us alone?” you heard Ashton grumble, moving you both, his back to his friends. ”I don’t need an audience for what is about to happen.”

The door closed as quickly as it has opened, and you stifled your giggles against Ashton’s chest, pressing a kiss into his neck.

”Is that a promise?” you looked up at him, and he gave you a lazy smile, brushing a kiss against your temple.

”How about we have some fun now, and then I’ll make you pancakes?”

- - - - -

taglist.

@mymindwide @loveroflrh @sadistmichael @notinthesameguey @babylonashton @talkfastromance4 @dead-and-golden @karajaynetoday @myloverboyash @blackbutterfliescal @sexgodashton

drop me a message/reply if you wanna be tagged uwu.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin smut #fiction time #.might explore the pancake scene too 👀#afic: summer nights

460 notes · View notes

damselofblueroses · 3 years

Text

The Children of Paradise

Summary: Set three years after the Rumbling, a young captain of Paradise Island, Anna Doukaina suddenly learned that her husband alive during the Paradisian Revolution.

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS AND ESPECIALLY CHAPTER 139, Descriptions of Depression and Grief, Mentions of Death, Emotional Hurt. Progress of the fiction contains nsfw / Smut, minors please do not.

Note: The idea of Paradisian Revolution and the transformation of Historia Reiss are the offspring of my imagination, I would like to think about how would Levi's aftermath of the Rumbling be in my head after I read chapter 139 :)

Word Count: 6.7k

Chapter 1: Misery of the Sea

The sky on the horizon was not dark at all.

It was shot with crimson, like a splash of blood.

And the ashes blew towards us with the salt wind from the sea.

“Just a retired one.” I said to myself in quietly. “Just like you.”

It did not help to inflate my ego and bolstering my self-confidence. I looked at to my hands, were they still in crimson, after I have been washing them over and over again?

They were pale as the moonlight, there were no single spot which was dirty on my body. I have been scrubbing my skin like wanting to tear myself from my mortal and sinner flesh since years, being a clean freak was just a default feature of my contract.

I made that deal long time ago.

When there was no white in my hair.

I could still recall the memories of selling my life. If Commander Smith could hear one of us, he would correct our words as devoting ourselves, our hearts to the salvation of humanity, however, even he knew that all of us were lying. Those high hopes, from the morons who wanted to serve humanity to the daydreamers who thought the war could be ended were buried under six feet, their remains already had to be become manures.

All of them became tools of nutrition; some of them for titans, some of them for animals, some of them for plants.

But in the end, the circle of life just continues.

And there we go. Again.

I was rubbing my hands to each other. I hate the weight of weapon, after I had to use them against humans. Against my team members, against my squad, against my friends.

In the end, the circle of war just continues.

I did not sign the deal for killing my comrades, my friends, my family. I was taught to destroy the fucking titans, not my kind.

How was I ended up in Military Police?

That was the biggest mystery of my life. I was ranking around 13th, I did not want to be in MP, therefore, I chose to wear the cape by myself. That was my bloody agreement.

I wanted to have my own wings.

When I remember that 14 years old girl, I could not help but smile at her naiveness. Her hopes. Her desires. Her dreams and loses.

I was a fool who believed humanity could be saved from the fate pending on it. Sometimes I could hear that girl’s voice in my head, lecturing me on how I could help the others, how I could be useful for humanity.

Humanity can go and fuck themselves.

I had no debt for people, I had already given to them everything I have.

So why the heck you are here, holding a rifle and targeting a high ranked commander of Yeagerist Unit?

My answer was so simple. I did not have anything to prove to those rats over the streets, but I hated to live in a new war. My war was ended when Eren Yeager and his rumbling were defeated, my war was ended when I saw that girl, Mikasa Ackerman’s endless longing for Eren Yeager, poor girl was spending her days and nights just for being with a ghost, a memory.

My war was ended when the Titan Curse was broken.

I was mourning for the people I lost since I was 10 years old. Losing my beloved ones started before I joined into the army when my entire town was smashed by an unexpected titan attack. They reported the incident like this, unexpected, if someone could expect a titan attack. I still had nightmares which composed by the screams of my friends and my family.

Worst… My little sister’s.

There were a few of survivors, a cousin of mine, me, two neighbours and a father, a grandma, four kids, a baby, and my grandpa.

We moved to Shiganshina before its doom before that those shit-faces Reiner and Berthold attacked to there. My grandpa died after one year when we started a life in the suburbs of Shiganshina.

I was all by myself.

There was two options ahead of me, join the army or work as a maiden. There was a shortage of jobs where I could work as a handmaid, so I went to the registration. I had to find a shelter for myself, there was no one who could take care of me, I had no one who I could trust on. I had to join into military if I wanted to live even for couple of days more.

Commander Smith would be rolled on the other side in his grave, but I never devote my heart to a fucking noble aim or shitty high hope.

I just did what I had to do in order to survive.

But survivingcosted me everything I had.

I was around 11 years old when they took me into the training and since then my heart became a graveyard of my beloved ones.

To my dismay, I had a perfect memory. I remember almost every day of my life, beyond, even the little details that were given to me, Hange and I were not very close for nothing.

Hange…

I was mourning for my friends. My comrades. My companions. My lover.

Nonchalantly I touched my left ring finger and rubbed it before pulled the trigger.

Why I am here and continuing to fight?

My war had not been ended yet. I was mourning but I refused to mourn for those people who died for their purposes. That’s why I was pulling the trigger, putting my life at risk again and killing that bastard with a single bullet.

I knew that my comrades were still watching me above, I would do everything to make them proud. That’s why I was still fighting back with a world where it was extremely cruel.

I used the bricks as a natural shield for myself and disassembled the rifle as fast as possible.

“That was for Hange, you bastards.” I murmured to myself. “She did not die to see Paradis under the yoke of your crazy queen.”

I could feel that Hange was nodding at my words just like she was standing next to me. I knew that no one from my comrades could approve this world where Historia Reiss ruled and transformed it to another planet only to fight.

Tatakae, was our motto. Tatakae, was our national anthem. Tatakae, tatakae, tatakae.

I remembered once I have heard this from Eren Yeager when they kept him into the prison, when Hange went to see him.

He was repeating tatakae like a chant, but I was sure he did not sacrifice everything he had just to see a mad queen on the throne of Paradis, or the army that was named as Yeagerists and divided into new units.

What did it mean? Being a Yeagerist?

Supporting mass genocide or sacrificing yourself for a plan?

For me both options were not the best ones, but if I had to prefer, I would sacrifice myself for a plan like breaking the titan curse.

But in my understanding, there was no place to the toleration of a control freak queen and her decisions to start another endless war.

That’s why I was walking around my second destination today. I was very famous of my quietness, speed and logic especially when it came to assassinate someone.

I learned every trick and move from a retired criminal.

I was like a sculpture on his hands, and he craved me till I became exactly what he wanted.

I sat on the edge of roof and started to count.

Revolution, we call this. Revolution.

I pulled my trigger again and did not bother to see the result. I knew that I killed two important commanders, and I was going to kill the last name for today. The headmaster of the palace, Edward Strauss, then I could go back to the home.

Liberty, we call our aim. Liberty.

Have we ever got a proper taste of liberty?

Have we ever got close to be free?

Have we ever reached a point where we could live far away from the sounds of broken bones, the smell of blood?

Have we ever just enjoyed our lives and let ourselves to live freely?

“That was for Levi.” I whispered before started to walk again. As always, saying his name was the hardest one. I had any idea about his life, I even did not know if he was living or not after the explosion, but I always made sure that naming him among my beloved ones.

He was.

“Please, join me, Captain Doukaina.”

I smiled to the young, energetic blonde boy who was sitting on the bench by himself in the middle of night. His ocean blue eyes were not as same as the time we met.

“You are grown up, huh, Armin?” I bestowed my hand to him. His face was brightened. “I have heard your stories enough for a life-time.”

“I tried to do my best.” he was modest as he was a trainer. “But my best was not enough to save everyone.”

Poor kid. He was still in pain of losing his friends. Eren and Mikasa were the closest thing to a family for him. His shelters. I remembered the day when they went under the yoke of Shadis. Armin was really tiny to be compared with a lot of boys instead of Eren, Jean or even Connie.

“It was not about your efforts.” I was very honest. “All of you did your best, but you cannot challenge to some paths. You knew better than me.”

“Yeah.” he beamed. “I learn the paths with all my heart, Captain.”

I remembered this kid was one of the nines…

“Armin,” I raised one hand. “Can you stop calling me as captain? I already dropped the titles I had once. Call me Anna. Just Anna.”

“Okey, Anna.” he tried my name on his tongue just like my name was tangy. “It is a little bit hard; you know.”

“Old habit never dies.” I beamed to him, enough to made him blush a little bit more. “So, how was your day before I bumped into you?”

“Extreme.” he smiled. “I am trying to deal with two lieutenants who do not want to cooperate with us, however they already joined into the resistance. I cannot let them go as they know so much.”

“What do you think to do?”

“I am going to persuade them.” he burrowed his eyebrows. “I wish the things could be different, but we are still in war.”

“Who are these two lieutenants?” I murmured. “If they will not change their minds after your speech, maybe we have to go for different tricks.”

“One of them is Lieutenant Arya Springer, a distant cousin of Connie; the other one is Lieutenant Johann Willenburg.”

“I know Willenburg.” I sighed. “A total blockhead.”

“Well, he is one of the best shooters.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “There was nothing I could do when he wanted to join since he has a strong reputation.”

“Yeah, these guys are so stubborn when it comes to fucking reputation.” I exhaled. “They want all the heroes in their team.”

“I could kill someone to have Captain Levi in my team.” Armin laughed. “But he rejected to come back with us.

I stared at Armin like I could not see him anymore. His words were echoing in my mind like a severe, horrendous, and horrific chant that had given hope to the audience, hoping that everything was going to be okey at the end.

“Cap- Anna?” he reached to me. “Anna, are you okey? Shit, you look like on the verge of fainti-

“Armin.” I grabbed his hand with all my strength. “Armin, tell me, is Levi alive?”

“Yes, he is.” he gave me a weird look. “He is in Marley, living with Gabi and Falco, do you remember those two Marleyan kids?”

Levi is alive.

“He did not contact with me.” I murmured to myself. I was not seeing Armin for real, I felt dizzy, my heart was pounding, my breathing pace was quickening, my blood was rushing in my veins. “Why did he not alert me?”

“How much you know about Captain?” Armin carefully interrogated. “I mean after the Titans war?”

“I only know the explosion because of that fucking monkey.” I hissed. I cannot feel my legs. “My knowledge is little, I could not learn anything, there was no one to tell me.”

“Do you want to learn?”

“What kind of question is that Armin?” I yelled without control. “I want to learn what the fuck happened to that bastard!”

“He does not want to be back, because he is not the Captain Levi Ackerman anymore. At least he thinks like that.”

“Ha?”

“After the explosion, Captain Hange found him, actually saved him from Floch and Yelena. To sum up, he was healed, he was still fighting when we ended the war, but his all body is covered with scars, he lost one eye and two fingers, in addition he has some problems with his legs. He uses a wheelchair time to time.”

My chin was dropped into the ground while my soul was leaving my body.

“So?” I heard my voice. “But he is alive, right?”

“Yes, he is.”

“And he thinks we do not need him anymore.” my brain started to function again. “Son of a bitch, he believes that we could not need him.”

“Exactly.” Armin approved. “At least this is what I believe also. I mean, I tried to have a civilized conversation with Captain, but you know how he is. He just sent me off.”

“You cannot have civilized conversations with Levi Ackerman.” I looked at him by gaining my self-control again. “Armin, you are the leader of this resistance. I want to go and drag him back.”

“Ha?” I knew I caught him guard off, but I really had no fucks to give.

“I am going to Marley.” I stood up. “If he thinks he can save his ass from this hell, he is wrong.”

“He does not want to s-

“He is going to see me.” I cut the shit off. Although his words, Armin was watching me with an admiration. “He owes me, you do not know how much he owes me.”

“How much he owes you?” he asked diligently. This was something about Armin, he was always so careful catching the nuances.

“A life.” I was not a sweet talker; I have never been till now. I suddenly scrubbed the wraps on two of my fingers like I have been doing every time I had talked about Levi. “If you will not let me to go, I have no choice but break some bones of your body, so you cannot prevent me.”

“You cannot across the sea without the documents in need, money and protection.” Armin raised his hands. “I do not object you, if you think you can bring Captain Levi back, I fully approve that. But you ne-

“I already have everything you mentioned. I have money, I can protect myself better than anyone can do for me, and I possess the documents, my identification card, my health report and insurance. Marley wants to see them, right?”

“Yes.” Armin nod but it was very clear he was surprised. “Since when you prepared all of these?”

“Do not make a wrong deduction.” I inhaled. “I did not prepare them in order to flee if I have to. My brother is one of the soldiers who chose to stay in Marley, I keep those documents because I wanted to be organized.”

“Well…” Armin stood up. “I guess there is no way to stop you, you will do what you decide on. I give you my consent, no better than this, I command you as the leader of resistance. Go and escort Captain Levi back to Paradise.”

“Your wish is my command.” I groaned and shook his hand. He was a little bit confused, he hesitated to send me over, but he exactly knew that he could not halt me.

Nothing can avert me from my way at this point.

My blood was boiling, I felt like someone was choking me. I could not believe that Levi was still alive and to my dismay he let me to think he was dead.

I spent last three years to mourn for him, and he did not bother himself to let me he is alive.

I rushed back to my little flat where the memories really became a burden. Every night was another nightmare in this place, every piece of the area carried something belonged to Levi.

I really cannot recall every minute I whimper his name, crying and longing for him.

And he did not let me know.

Since when he became a selfish bastard like this?

How could he?

I grabbed some clothes, the basic requirements in need, some food, and beverages into my luggage. Even this fucking luggage belonged to Levi once. I angrily wiped the tears off, I was definitely frustrated, mad and horrified by his extremely self-centred decision.

So, he is living, and he let me to believe that he is dead?

Unbelievable.

How could he do that to me?

I even did not bother to check how could I reach to Marley. I only know that I had to go to the ports, that was going to what I do. I left the home and started to my new journey.

When I will find you, Ackerman, you will pray to be dead.

Marley.

I was sitting on the benches of the boat by watching the notorious walls of Heaven, at least, what had been left from that. Paradise made sure its destruction, but some parts of the walls were still visible if you knew where to look.

That was my biggest problem, I always knew where to look and follow what I saw.

Even now, my biggest problem is connected my ultimate problem: Levi Ackerman.

He was always what I saw, whose I followed without even a single hesitation. Wherever Levi goes, I go, that’s my deal.

For a moment, 18 years old version of me appeared in front of my blurry eyes. I still could see her arms tangled around her chest with a determined face expression, standing before Commander Erwin, being examined by curious eyes.

“Captain Levi wanted you into his squad.” Commander slightly raised his eyebrow. He was more than curious; it was very obvious that he could not see a logical reason behind Captain’s request. “Before approving your promotion, I would like to ask you one question.”

“All ears, Commander.”

“You devoted your heart, no discussion on that.” he stood up and took his steps towards me. I was suffocating because of the power his glare. “But to what? I always wonder that.”

“To whom, you mean?” I questioned his question, for a second, a ghost of smirk formed around his lips but as usual he controlled himself so swiftly. He approved me with his head, I knew that today or tomorrow I had to answer this question.

I was too tired to hold it back.

I was too naïve to try to disguise my true colours.

“I devoted my heart to Captain Levi.” I said. Plain and clear.

Commander did not reply to me. He just looked at me for a minute then smiled. I was afraid of seeing his smile, with all my respect to him, when he smiled, I always felt the goosebumps all over my body, his smile was irking my self-defence system. I felt like I was trapped and dragged into something I should have not want to do, but I was supposed to perform.

When Commander smiled, I felt like I was a puppet in his hands like every cadet in the Scouts.

I had been questioning every incident, decision, and stage of my life since that day. Was I really acknowledged of my words when I blatantly stated my devotion to Levi?

What had I gained in return of my devotion?

A journey to Marley by myself, countless corpses on my conscious and permanent blood traces on my hands.

A myriad of sleepless nights.

Longing for someone who never comes back.

I clenched my fists over the fabric of my skirt. I hated wearing skirts, but Levi persuaded me to wear them when we had to peel ourselves out of uniforms.

I always suspected Levi had something with the skirts, those soft and pastel ones.

What the fuck you are thinking right now?

I could feel my nails digging into my palms, they were going to leave some marks for sure. Maybe a little bit blood too.

Maybe I should have kept myself in Paradise, with my duty. I could distract myself with new missions, new plans, and decisions. Maybe it was not the best option for me, maybe I really had to respect his decision and never went on board to drag him back.

Back to hell.

To the hell he lost everyone whose were very dear to him.

I was cruel and reckless, he had been losing more than anyone else, he had been in such a hell even before people labelled him as the humanity’s strongest. Just once he told me how sick and tired he was of that humanity’s strongest shit.

How much he wanted to leave all these behind himself.

And now, I was on my way to drag him back.

I could feel the panic started to invade my body and affected my limbs; I immediately bit my lower lip in order to keep my mind straight.

Even this little trick, you learned from Levi.

A strong smell of salt rushed all over me with the promising sound of waves. I lifted my head up, my hands automatically turned into the fists.

He already dared to break his promise, why should I care for his thoughts and desires? He did not think of mine, he decided all by himself. Why should I be upset for him?

I could easily forgive him, to be honest, I have already forgiven him for leaving his hell behind. What I have been not going easy on was his decision to leave mebehind like I was a part of his personal abyss. He was the last one who could break a promise, and he never choose a path which could make him to regret of his selection. I knew his way of thinking to the bits, in these circumstances more than I could wish for, if he concluded on the way to follow, he made sure that he would not be regretful. Needless to say, if he chose to leave me behind, it was the solid proof of his view of me.

I mourned for him every second of my life since the end of war, my feelings were always so complicated towards Levi, but I was always certain on my love for him.

My feelings were not reciprocated. I could understand my one-sided affection and its heartbreak if he did not give me a promise for lifetime.

While the boat was arriving the shores of Marley, I was definitely not in my best mood. I could not name all the frustration, fear, anxiety, anger I felt, but at the same time I was so excited. The silence of my mind was sudden and was not like it normally was, it was a total, dead silence, laden with an uncomfortable tension that cut me like the edge of dull blades. There were words on the very tip of my tongue that every inch of myself burned to scream, but my lips were like sealed. My posture was changed by our arriving to the port of Marley, I stood up and took a deep breathe. The air was so thick, I could not deny but I remained bound by unspoken thoughts and empty promises. When the doors were opened to the passengers, I grabbed my luggage and stepped into the foreign lands.

I have been in Marley before for educational reasons. After the war, I was one of the soldiers or civilians who were selected as the students go abroad, I spent two years here by attending college. After graduation, the government of Paradise assigned me as the head of royal library because I denied giving courses to the students.

I could work as a librarian. I could not work as a teacher, not again, I could not bound myself to the pupils. Even thinking about having students around me causing a lump in the middle of my throat. I was not made for mentoring kids, as my own history could vouch for that.

I still hear those screams.

Memories were stuck in my head and for the life of me, I could not erase them from my thoughts. Every little step I took, the labyrinth of my memory has been providing me with a new reason of pain. Anger. Frustration. Sadness.

Loneliness.

I have been always by myself. I fought for my life, my troop, my battalion, my people, my country, and there was no end of the shitty list. Dedicate your heart, we have been trained, dedicate your hearts. My eyes were masked in sheer layer of moisture, I knew, my tears of anger because the world was being nothing but cruel to me. I knew this way of thinking was not being entirely rational, I wanted to hear that it was not my fault, I wanted someone to praise my efforts.

And that someone has been living the best of his life in a little shop where it occupied a very good, visible spot of one of the main streets of city, where I was standing just in front of the door.

I had been losing the understanding of time, but when I found myself in front of the ivory-coloured door, of course Levi would kill someone who can even propose choosing another colour, I checked my clock.

Should I go inside?

I did not know why he did not send a message to me, and I did not fully recall all the circumstances of our shared past, either. I was so determined to see and drag him back, but now, all I remembered was the feeling of falling, crumbling, crawling, and seething pains before blackness. There were blurry bits and pieces, but when I tried to reassemble them, there were just the colour red. Red again, crimson red.

What should I say if I go inside?

What will happen if he is inside?

What if he would be disappointed to see me?

I reached to the knub of door, however all power I had till now was leaving me. Emptiness was what I felt, there was no driving force, there was even no anger against his crimes.

My heart was pounding on my throat, my sight was blurry, then I let the knub of door and turned my back to the shop. I did not want to see what was inside of that little tea shop, even thought it was one of the smallest shops I have ever seen, it was certain that that shop was bigger than my life and more valuable than me in the eyes of Levi Ackerman.

Although I was full of retaliation feelings, I could feel anything but my love for him.

Why should I step back into his life again, when his decision keeping me away from him is clear as fuck?

The city lights peeked through the cracks of the pavement, creating a jagged patch of gold in the way as I took it as a sign for me in order to keep going by myself. I just looked at the door once more, then I inhaled.

I have to write an explanation to Armin as formally. He loves me, but he is not the type of letting the issue go.

“Excuse me?” I heard a young but strong boy voice. “Captain Doukaina?”

I closed my eyes, because I recognized the owner of this voice like hearing it just one yesterday. I kept remain to walk, acting like I did not hear my name but just in one second, a cheerful, energetic face jumped into me.

“YOU ARE RIGHT, FALCO!” Gabi screamed all the air out of her lungs. “SHE IS CAPTAIN DOUKAINA!”

“Ah.” this was only thing I could said. “Hi, Gabi.”

She hesitantly looking at me, her arms were reaching to me, but she knew that I had been refusing to talk with her for long time until that night I had to keep both of them between my arms, protecting them as the frightened kids who survived.

“You can.” I approved her attempt. “We are not enemies, and I am sure both of us changed a lot.”

She did not wait to hear the end of my words; she just hug me like I was the miracle of life. Falco, always kinder than Gabi, patiently waited for his line.

More like waited for Gabi not being extra.

“How are you?” he asked me politely, I could laugh his disgusted face towards Gabi who was circling around me by murmuring an inaudible song.

“I am very well.” Liar. “I hope you are doing well, either.”

“Yes, we are living with Uncle Onyankopon and helping to Mr. Ackerman for running tea shop.” Gabi shared this two information with everyone on the street.

My heart was hammering in my chest to hear that Mr. Ackerman, I hated myself for my reaction, but the kids were unaware of the glossiness glazing over my eyes.

“Did you come to visit us?” Gabi asked. “Why it took this much, we have been waiting for you since the end of war?”

“Gabi, please have some manners.” Falco murmured to her. “Captain Doukaina has her own life, you knew that.”

“Ah.” Gabi stopped and looked at me in the face. “I am sorry, I did not want to be rude, but I thought you would have come very long time ago. We missed you.”

“I did not know where you are.” I spilled the beans without thinking. “No one told me.”

“Uncle Onyankopon said tha-

“She means that maybe there was a problem between Marley and Paradise communication ways.” Falco made a heroic attempt to save a secret from me, but I was playing the game even before he was born. I gave him my signed deathly glare and turned back to Gabi.

“What he says?”

“Mr. Ackerman insisted on you have to live your own life.” Gabi grumbled. “Falco and I tried to persuade him to call you here, but Uncle said he could not dare to play against to Mr. Ackerman.”

“Mr. Ackerman can go to hell.” I cursed beneath my breath. Falco heard me for sure, but Gabi was so busy giving me a detailed story of almost 5 years after the war. Mostly I did not listen her, but I caught two important details.

She knew that I attended college here in Marley.

She knew that I was the head of royal library in Paradise.

Are you still watching me Levi, or she knows these because of another reason?

“Would like to come inside?” Falco interrupted Gabi’s endless stories. “I strongly believe that you came here today, we have fresh bakery and tea, and we happily serve them to you, Captain.”

“Call me Anna.” I smiled to him. What is these kids’ fault? They wanted me with them, they were trying to call me back. How could I remain angry towards them? “Thank you for your kind inv- Gabi, what are you doing?!”

“You have to taste blueberry spongy cake!” she yelled at me. Maybe I can exactly remain angry towards Gabi? “And we have a delicious Earl Grey which came to the shop just a few hours ago. You like Earl Grey, right? Plain, strong and harmonious.”

“How do you know that?” I could not help but ask.

“Mr. Ackerman.” she gave me a weird look like it was very usual, talking about my preferences between the folk of this fucking tea shop. “When he orders Earl Grey, he always check the quality of tea according to the rule of Doukaina.”

“What the fuck?” I tossed my head back, my feet tapping on the pavement. “Gabi, I am really sorry, and I have no intention making you upset but seriously I understand anything you say.”

“The rule of Doukaina is our standards in order to value everything around us.” I heard a baritone voice which I was fucking familiar with. “Welcome to Marley, Captain.”

“Onyankopon.” I pressed my lips into each other. I could not help but felt the irritation against him. He smiled to me by raising his hands.

“I have nothing.” He remained his posture. “Can I join you?”

“We will serve to Captain.” Falco explained. “She just came to Marley today; she has to be thirsty and hungry.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I am very well, but tired. If you could allow me to go back to my flat, it would-

“No!” Gabi just sticked into my arm like a gummy. “We will not, right Falco?”

“What are you doing there, brats?” I heard another voice. Baritone. Strong. Grumpy. Familiar to giving orders. “Did you take a hostage in a blink of eye?”

“She is Captain Doukaina!” Gabi screamed like she was sharing the most wonderful miracle of this bloody world. “How can we take her as a hostage, Mr. Ackerman? She is the cleverest as you always say!”

“Captain Doukaina?” I heard his voice again, full of nothing but disbelief. “JesusfuckingChrist, do you lose your mind?”

“I am here.” I choked out loudly enough for him to hear my voice. “Anna Doukaina.”

There was silence like our walls circling Paradise before we crumbled them down.

“Anna Doukaina.” the voice repeated my name again. Would he be crueller to me, still staying in the shadows?

“Yes.” I lifted my chin and let all emotions filled me up. Did I really unload these 5 years on him, in front of everyone here? I knew I was not going to, but God, if I had the courage, I would. I would ruin his life; I would set everything he did on fire and leave here as the happiest woman.

He came out of that fucking ivory door, and I forgot how to breathe.

No one told me how he was.

No one told me how bad he was hurt.

No one told me how horrible his scars were.

Onyankopon grabbed the kids due to rapidly increasing tension, even though Gabi’s rejections, and left Levi and me by all alone in front of the tea shop. We were staring each other like enemies, we could be enemies, I wondered if I had ever felt like this before in my life.

“Anna Doukaina.” he sighed at me. I clenched my fists and took a really long, refreshing, and deep breath. “You are not Anna Doukaina.”

“Ah.” I barely held myself back from making a scene. “I guess I know my identity better than you, Captain Ackerman.”

“It seems you forget.” he took one step towards me. I could see all of his face, all the stitches, all the lines and his eyes. Goddamnit, his Aegean eyes. “Your name was changed, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I raised my left hand and showed him the little bandage which I always wrapped on my finger.

“Why did you wrap your finger?” he dared to ask to me by furrowing his eyebrows.

“What should I do?” I nicely asked but I could feel the taste of blood inside of my mouth. “Should I unwrap the bandage? What is the point of it?”

“Since when married woman keeps their marriage rings under cover?” he grunted, but he was careful as always not causing any unwarranted events. I could easily see he was fuming inside; he was calculating but I could not understand the rest of his feelings.

He was upset, that was so clear.

He did not want to see me, that was another clear point.

“They do.” I forced myself to smile. Do not let him to see your feelings. “If their wedded husband are not with them.”

“So, were you covering your ring since the last 5 years?”

“Every day of it, and I enjoyed that a lot.”

“Why you did not take it off, Godfuckingdamnit, if you were so upset by wearing it?!”

“Protection.” I chuckled. Make him mad. Give nothing but only pain to him if you can. “You know, if I will financially collapse, I can always sell this. It is 24k gold. A luxury for Paradise.”

“You are not changed even a bit.” he leaned back on the heels of his feet. “Still a witch.”

“I changed a lot.” I said. Back in the Corps, I was loud and commanding, I was a leader, one of the cleverest. Now, I was timid and tired, I may be broken down because of his absence. “I am not a witch anymore; I became a bitch.”

“Yes, I can see that.” he nod. Very sweet of Levi. “Why you are here?”

“I came because I am looking for my husband.” I said.

“Why?”

“To ruin his life.” I smiled. “I want ruin that bastard for letting me down, for letting me mourn for him every fucking day, for everything he did to me.”

Levi glared at me with a deadpanned face. I unwrapped my bandage and showed my hand to him.

“I have been waiting for this since I learned you are alive.” I murmured. “I want a divorce.”

“What?” his face was entirely blank.

“I always thought you were dead, but since you are unfortunately in flesh and soul, I want a fucking divorce.” I grinned. “Do you think I across the sea in order to see you? No, Levi. No. We are going to divorce, so you have to come back with me to Paradise, then you can go to even hell if you want.”

“Thinking I was dead did not prevent you to live your life fully, huh?” he raised one eyebrow. “Why do you want a divorce right now, all of sudden? Why did you show yourself at the door of my teashop? Are you run out of money?”

“You cannot hit me with these, Captain.” I chuckled and took the ring out of my finger. “See? I came for giving this back to you.”

I directly went to him, in front of him, my mind did not catch any of my moves or decisions. I never felt like this in my life, I was like captured by another soul, I was watching myself out of my body. I grabbed his hand, opened his palm and placed the ring.

“You can do whatever you want with your fucking ring.” I hissed at him. My voice was keeping all the pain as a secret. Even now, even I am full of pain, the only thing I want is hugging and kissing him, staying at his side forever! “I came to say this.”

I turned back to him immediately, but before my first step, he grabbed my wrist and forced me to walk with him inside of his tea shop. He literally dragged me into the next table and held my hand with all force.

“You are my wife.” he dropped his voice to lowest version. Damnit, how he dare to give me that voice, he uses when I was a cadet?! “You are mine.”

“Ah, really?” I pushed him back. “Where were you if I am your wife?”

“Where were you?” he questioned my question. “If I am your husband, why you were not with your husband? Why did you not come to find me after the war?”

“MR. ACKERMAN!” Someone yelled by entering from the door, and both of us turned to the boy. “I NE- wow.”

The little blond kid just stared at Levi, looking like a revengeful god and me, pressed on the table as a suspected witch. His little mouth shaped as an O.

“What happened?” he asked.

“No- nothing. We did not know you have visitors. Hi, lady!”

“I do not have a visitor, Paul.” Levi gave me a piercing look. Do not fall. Do not fall. “She is my wife, Mrs. Ackerman.”

“DO YOU HAVE A WIFE?!” The little kid screamed for his dear life.

“No, I am not h-

“Yes, I have.” Levi said. “And she is going to live with me from now on.”

#leviackerman #levi ackerman #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman fic #aot #attack on titan #aot smut #snk #aot fic #levi #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan levi #captain levi #levi aot

23 notes · View notes