#nothing like you're freaking out about will come to happen in canon-- it's all about self-love and self-acceptance

[krypticcafe]

Can you do a part 2 of the platonic reader and the 141+Alejandro where reader gets kidnapped and comes back? I love your writing!

No One Can Hurt You

Sequel to As Long as I'm Here

rating: mature

pairing(s): platonic gn!reader x task force 141 + alejandro + rodolfo

warning(s): language, canon-typical violence, torture, blood, military inaccuracies, mild gore descriptions for a hot second, implied ghost zapping a guy's balls, reader is lowkey traumatized, comfort, no use of y/n, no beta read, possible ooc?

a/n: I did NOT expect to get such an overwhelmingly positive response on the first part?? I was worried that the writing felt bland, but you guys seemed to love it, so here's the highly demanded part two!

synopsis: the 141 and Los Vaqueros weren't going to stand for what happened to you. No one would.

alternative title— fuck around and find out

"We found the guys your sources claimed to be the men that were there, Captain. But they're refusing to say anything to us. Honestly, it looks like they're just another pair of lackeys." Gaz was speaking over comms with Price after locating a suspect with Roach. The two had found the pair in a dingy old building, a safehouse conveniently placed far from heavily populated civilian areas.

"Should we-"

He was cut off by a series of loud thuds and glass crashing, immediately grabbing his handgun and running into the room where Roach was keeping an eye on their suspects.

Roach had one of the men pinned to the ground, repeatedly decking him in the face whilst letting out frustrated yells and broken cries. Blood splattered across the floor and on his visor, but he could've cared less, it wasn't his anyways.

"Roach, get off of him, that's enough!" Gaz practically had to tear his teammate away from the man with how Roach flailed, grunting and clawing at Gaz's arms to let him go. "Roach, we can't do anything if you bloody kill them!"

Pushing off Gaz, Roach seethed with pained eyes, nearly tearing up out of sheer frustration. "He's hiding something, I know he is! That sadistic fuck started bragging about what they did to the sergeant and- and the smug shit look he had! These are the guys, but they're not telling us everything!"

He knew it was a terrible excuse, but his own gut feelings about reading people's expressions had never proved him wrong before, not when he had an eye for reading people through their body language. Gaz hesitated. He understood why Roach lashed out and didn't blame him for losing his temper, hell, he rarely did, and Gaz would've done the same in all honesty. You meant as much to him as you did to Roach. They were the first friends you made when joining the 141, the ones who helped acclimate you to the team, and the ones who trained under Price alongside you like you were their sibling. But it didn't help that they nearly broke protocol, which would've compromised the mission and made your sacrifice and suffering for nothing.

Looking down at the unconscious yet still-breathing man, Gaz then noticed how the blood pooled around him. It seemed to stop spreading at some point in the floorboards and spilled into an unusually large crack in the wood that looked suspiciously intentional.

"Roach, take the other one and call for exfil but don't tell them to leave just yet." Once his partner left, Gaz kneeled down to the floor and knocked on the wood. It was hollow.

Seems they would definitely need them alive now more than ever.

"I don't know who supplies us, I just work for them! Just ask-" The man let out a cry as Soap held his shoulder, digging his fingers into it and balling his other hand into a fist before landing a solid punch into his gut. A moment passed he choked on air, the wind knocked from him, his mouth painfully dry except for the tears that dripped from his eyes.

"Tell us who you work for or things are about to get real nasty for you like they did for your friend."

"You're in it if you think I'm gonna say shit! The 141 is just a freak show, ain't it? Bunch of you cowards hiding behind stupid callsigns, what the fuck kind of name is—" That earned him another beating. He wailed, writhing in pain against the tight restraints, but ultimately wasting his energy. He only stopped when he heard screams and crackles of what was undoubtedly electricity coming from behind one of the walls of the room.

"So you do know," Soap growled, beating him once more and backing up when he retched from pain. Blood dripped from Soap's knuckles, to which he scowled in disgust and irritation, his accent growing thick, "No, you just had to make things a fuckin' mess, dinnae you?"

Normally, it was Ghost who took care of interrogations, at least the more painful parts of it. But Soap needed to let out his anger in a useful way, he needed to hear the sickening crunch of ribs so that he could remind himself of what you went through and erase any sliver of doubt or sympathy in his mind for the enemy. Every splatter of blood that'd spill when he'd throw a fist across the guy's face was just another testament to how much he despised what happened and how desperately he needed to let it all out.

The man, in his bleary-eyed haze, made out another figure that entered the room. It was Ghost, with a box of electrical clamps in hand. "What is he doing here?"

Soap and Ghost made a silent exchange of words, nodding to one another in confirmation and speaking purely through eye contact. It only created more fear when Soap left the room and the man was all alone with the lieutenant.

"Hey hey hey where are you going you can't leave me with him! I did what I had to do, it's not my fault your friend was collateral—" The man choked on his words when Ghost pulled out two clamps and tested them, both emitting a spark and loud crackles that echoed off the walls. "—fuck! Oh god, no no no—what the fuck are you gonna use that for?!"

The lieutenant was a different situation. Sure, he wanted nothing more than to dig his hands into the man's open wounds, curl his fingers until flesh separated from bone, make them feel just exactly how much they got 'under his skin'. He wanted to hear the satisfying pop! of bones and cartilage. He wanted them to writhe like worms on a scalding sidewalk, pathetic and left for dead. But that wasn't enough, they didn't deserve the time, the effort, nor did they deserve the pleasure of a quick death. No, he needed to make them suffer.

Ghost brought one clamp up to the man's crotch with one hand and held a rusty knife with the other, lowering himself to look directly at his target. It was at that moment the man came to the realization that he wasn't captured, no, he fucked around, pulling off the stubborn shit act until they'd inevitably grow bored of him and move on, maybe put him out of his misery if he was lucky enough. But there was no moving on, there was no luck in this ring of hell. No, not with what had already been done and what couldn't be taken back even if he begged. The 141 was revered for their soldiers and their work, but it was a myth all at the same time. They were said to be efficient and ruthless, better to surrender to than to suffer at the hands of. Since they were off the books, it was a mystery as to what lengths they would go to, just how far they would push the limits.

He had fucked around, and now he'd find out.

They locked eyes, one pair filled with fear, the other devoid of any emotion. There wasn't the sympathy the man prayed for, nor the anger or violence of Soap, not even a hint of mercy or hatred. It was so empty of feeling that it almost felt dismissive, as if the man wasn't a human held hostage but an object, a book to be torn open for answers, then tossed aside. If Soap had been his judge and jury, then Ghost would surely be his executioner. He felt small, insignificant, and hopeless under the gaze as the man he truly believed was death incarnate responded to his question.

"Last. Chance."

One by one, Price and his crew had cleared the facility, evacuating workers and eliminating guards and cartel. After bringing their "guest informants" to the brink of delirium, wrenching them like wet towels to get every drop of info. Along with the intel Gaz gathered from a hidden basement where hard drives of transactions were being kept, they found the main supplier and other bases. If they took down the heart of the operation, it would cause a domino effect, shutting things down to a point where the Los Vaqueros would be able to handle them on their own. With every bullet shot, they were closer to their goal and closer to making up for what they considered a personal failure to protect one of their own and many more.

Maybe it was crazy that their primary motivation beyond recovering the drugs was to seek justice for a single soldier. But it was to prove a point. To prove that they weren't just a team of highly skilled and trained soldiers, to prove that they were a force to be reckoned with, and to prove that you were no less valuable of a member than the others, all of whom would lay their lives on the line for one another. After all,

The 141 was not to be messed with.

Making his way through the rooms and getting closer to the center of it all, Price was interrupted when a door to his side busted open from a man toppling back into it, falling to the ground. He tried to scramble back, a boot quickly stomping onto his chest. Alejandro towered before him, pressing a rifle to his head, growling in Spanish, "Where is your leader?"

The man responded, and without hesitation, the colonel gave him a quick and painless death for his obedience. Looking up, Alejandro nodded in acknowledgment at Price, "I'm not the only one that owes your sergeant, they protected my men, and I owed them a favor even before that."

That caused Price to chuckle, even despite their current circumstances. There was no denying how much of an unnecessarily reckless saint you could be with those you worked with. "I suppose you got a location from that poor bastard?"

"Yes. Have our teams regroup, it's going to be a long night for us all, my friend. But it's worth the trouble for Las Almas and the kid, no?"

"Yes, indeed." Price hummed, the two making their way out and on to finally settle the score.

You woke up blinded by a bright light, briefly contemplating if you were dead and if heaven was actually real all along. But after some time passed, your eyes adjusted to the all-too-familiar setting of the infirmary with its barren walls and sickly sanitized scent. With a groan, you tried to prop yourself up on your elbows until a hand gently pressed you back. Puzzled by the motion, you rubbed your eyes and found your captain looking back at you.

"Easy there, soldier." Price cautioned, and you kept your eyes on him as you laid back down. He had a small smile on his lips, but the way he looked at you signified that he was still concerned for your state, "You alright? Need the nurse or anything?"

"No," You shook your head, wincing at how hoarse your throat was. Price laughed softly and handed you a cup of water he had prepared at the side of your bed, and you started to wonder if he had always kept one there for you and if he even regularly changed it for you. You wouldn't put it past him to, the ol' sap.

Gulping the cool liquid down heartily, you took a few breaths before continuing, "How- how long was I out?"

"About a few days, no longer than a week." He shrugged, your eyes widening in response, "Cut yourself some slack. When you came back, you were bleeding out all over base and in hysterics. Doctor told us that if you got back any later, we would've lost you from the blood loss alone."

"Just the blood loss? Not the drugs? I would've figured the latter would be the end of me." You chuckled until you saw Price's expression, muttering a sheepish 'sorry, too soon?' and sipping your water cup, "I didn't hurt anyone, did I?"

"Well, you did punch Garrick square in the chest, but he's been through worse. Wouldn't stop making puppy eyes at you the entire time after, I think you wounded his heart. Ghost had to restrain you afterward, and you were too weak to do any real damage at that point, just kept screaming your head off until you passed out."

"Shit," You cringed, your face burning hot with shame, "I'm sorry, Captain. I should've been more careful, I could've compromised the mission and-"

"Don't be. Sure, you made a bloody fool of yourself, but you saved your team in the process. And that's got to count for something, yeah?" He nudged you gently, "So don't beat yourself up, especially after you fought your way out of hell."

The sympathetic look he gave you held unspoken words, No one could've known. You couldn't have known. The urge to tear up right then and there was strong, but you didn't want to embarrass yourself more than you already apparently had. Biting back the sting in your eyes, you only quietly nodded in response.

"Good. I'm proud of you, got that?" Price stood from his seat, giving your head a firm pat, "Rest up after they're done with you, alright? Can't have one of my finest on the sidelines for too long, now can I?"

"Honored to be one, Captain." You faltered for a moment, "Wait, 'they'?"

Price only gave you a sly shrug and left the room. You remained to wonder what he meant for approximately ten seconds until Gaz and Roach burst in, the latter immediately glued to your side. So this is who he meant by "they", why were you even surprised?

"Feeling alright there?" Gaz smiled, taking a seat at your other side.

"I should be asking you that, didn't you get all heartbroken after I punched you?"

"I shouldn't have asked," Gaz groaned, shaking his head despite his smile, "Cheeky as ever, huh? Can't even be sympathetic without you trying to make fun of me."

"Well, I for one was pissed!" Roach interjected, "Right after you got here, we got to work on finding the assholes who hurt you and made them eat shit for dinner. Man, I wish I could've been in the interrogation room with Ghost and Soap but Price said I'm only finding an excuse to beat them up more."

Gaz raised a brow, "You were finding an excuse to."

"Well yeah, but I was only gonna mess with them a little bit, not zap their balls like Ghost—"

"I'm sorry, what?" You coughed, stunned by all the information coming out of them and hardly able to keep up. "What happened when I was knocked out?"

"Price didn't tell you? Oh, well," The two began to give you a run-down of events, from how Roach nearly beat the living hell out of your torturers, to the hidden basement, Ghost and Soap's whole interrogation (with great detail via Roach intel), and how both Price and Alejandro held a whole operation and shut down the suppliers.

Gaz shrugged, "Of course, it was mostly to shut it down and for the sake of Las Almas-"

"-but I mean, we also had to defend your honor!" Roach huffed, passionately signing to emphasize his point, "At least I wanted to. Seriously, how fucked up is it that they drugged you? It wasn't even helpful, they're just sickos that-"

Before Roach could further rant, Gaz tugged at the back of his uniform collar and glanced at his watch. "C'mon Roach, we've been here for a good hour and Price has us on duty right now." Roach only whined at Gaz in response but he ignored it, giving you one last glance, "Get some rest and get well soon, mate. I can't babysit all on my own after all."

"Hey!"

You broke out in laughter, watching the two leave and waving them goodbye. While you wished they could've stayed longer, your heart still warmed at the thought of how they cared, waiting for you to wake up and immediately being at your side. It reminded you of how you stayed at their side when they got sick from a mission in the rain and you didn't, so you felt somewhat obligated to help them as the 'survivor'. Perhaps they felt the same way too, that as your friends, they felt obligated and willing to stay by your side in return.

Hours passed since Gaz and Roach had visited, morning turning to late afternoon. The only ones who did pass by were either other soldiers on base needing medical attention or the nurses themselves, who regularly checked up on you. It wasn't exactly the company you wanted, but it was better than agonizing silence and isolation, which you quickly found to be the worst of it all. Not the scars, not the stiff bandages, not even the sickly clean smell, but just when things were silent. When things were silent, your mind went back to the time you spent, the hours you waited in between questions and beatings with nothing but you in your own head fighting for your consciousness. The buzz of the fluorescent lights in the infirmary drilled a hole in your skull the same way that singular overhead light had, drowning out your thoughts in an uncanny way. The IV drip was no better, it kept you awake the same way the rhythm of your own blood dripping had. You hadn't even noticed the way your breathing suddenly turned ragged just like it did when—no, you had noticed, but you didn't want to.

It shouldn't have bothered you as much as it did, it was only a few hours, you've been through worse, others have been through worse.

But god, the silence.

"You doing okay there, uh-" A nurse walked in through the curtains, pulling up the clipboard at the end of your bed and reading your name, "I'm just going to administer some painkillers real quick, okay?"

Unconsciously, you nodded and watched in a slight daze as she pulled up a cart of medical supplies. Your hands balled into fists to stop the trembling you weren't even aware of but somehow knew you had to hide. It hadn't quite registered to you what was going on or what she had said, even as you watched her fill up the syringe and flick it. But the moment you felt the needle against your skin, you roughly grabbed her wrist, causing her to yelp and drop it.

Your hands began to tremble again, growing clammy. You became all too aware of how muffled the nurse's panicked words were but how sharp the ringing in your ears was, piercing your brain. Words wouldn't come out of your mouth, replaced with small, quick breaths while your eyes darted around to find something, anything to focus on with your blurred vision.

"At ease, sergeant." A heavily accented voice spoke, ripping you from your haze and you turned to find that familiar skull mask standing by the curtains.

"I... I'm sorry," You mumbled, letting go of the poor woman's wrist and hanging your head apologetically. Your breaths returned to normal, the lights were less bright, and the noise was gone for now.

"I think it's best if you ask the doctor to try other kinds of painkillers with our friend here, miss. They aren't too fond of needles, ain't that right?" Soap appeared behind Ghost, trying to keep things lighthearted with how tension in the air was thick enough to suffocate in. The nurse nervously nodded her head before walking away with the cart, understandably still shaken by what had happened.

"I'd ask if you're doin' okay, but it seems a bit obvious now, ain't it, Ghost?"

The other grunted in response, sitting down at one of the chairs by your side. "You'd think they'd know better with these kinds of things."

"Don't be mean now, they're just doing their jobs," The scotsman chuckled, turning back to you, "Now, aren't you quite the sight for sore eyes? Sorry we couldn't make it earlier, we got tied down with paperwork after the whole fiasco, you know about that yet?"

"Yeah, I didn't expect you guys to get the job done so fast."

"Aw, did you want us to leave you some left over? If I'd known, I would've told Ghost to go a little easier on the lads." Soap was the only one trying to make any conversation out of this visit and you already knew the reason for Ghost's silence. It was just like in the helicopter after you took the blow for him, though you were pretty sure a pun wouldn't be enough to break him from "brooding" like last time.

"Sure. Would've loved to get a few punches back on them," You teased back, "But thank you guys. Really. I know it wasn't the main purpose, but I really appreciate that you guys had my safety in mind. Never figured joining the 141 would come with vengeance perks, or am I just that special to you guys?"

"You little shite, you," Soap cackled, ruffling your hair.

"Looks like they beat us here, Rudy." Alejandro's voice chimed out of the blue, appearing soon after.

"Too bad, I was hoping we'd have them to ourselves," Rodolfo hummed, followed behind with a gift basket in hand, "At least we bought something, eh?"

"Oi! We would've brought something too, we just wanted to get here as soon as we got back." Soap pouted, "Tell 'em Ghost."

"Actually I was hoping to get a 'get well' card on our way here." The masked man mumbled, ignoring his partner's offended gasp.

"You seein' this?" He whined, but you also ignored him, favoring the sweets that were in the gift basket.

"How'd you know this was my favorite?" You gasped, your reaction had the two Vaqueros looking at each other with proud faces.

"I have my sources."

"Ale, you just asked around base."

"That still counts as sources."

The whole lot of you started breaking into conversation, the boys exchanging their accounts of their ambush. In return, you shared what had happened when you were caught and how you escaped in a small summary of events, which led to them ranting about the men they interrogated and about the drugs themselves. Even Roach, Price, and Gaz popped in one last time for the day to visit you and join in on the discussion. Seeing them all like this, gathered around your bed, laughing and bantering, it almost made you forget all that had happened. You wanted to cherish this moment, keep a mental picture of it framed over the locked box in the back of your mind. Being in the military never allowed much room for friends gathering and all this chit-chatting outside of pubs, so it was a rare sight for sore eyes.

In a way, it made your life a little more meaningful. Reminded you that you weren't just a "good soldier", you were a teammate, a friend. You were important, someone worth fighting for. A purpose.

Although the job was harsh and you always felt like you had a gun to your head, that everyone wanted you dead on the battlefield, the 141 always showed you that someone out there still cared, still wanted you to fight and stay alive. Even if life tried to put you six feet under, they'd be there to pull you out without hesitation. You didn't have to doubt or question why, you already knew the answer.

You were family.

Unfortunately, the moment couldn't last for long, the poor nurse from before had been startled by the sheer volume of people around you, especially when most of them were high-ranking. Regardless, she chastised them for keeping you up when you needed your rest (you didn't) and began to shoo them all out. It was almost comedic how the group of giant, intimidating men left with little resistance in a pile of shame. Christ, they look like a pack of sad puppies, you humorously thought to yourself.

Ghost was the last to leave, hesitating to say something by the way he just stood there, curling his hands into fists. You had to force yourself not to laugh right then and there. For someone who was so silent and stoic for most conversations, he was easy to read. It wasn't hard to notice how his eyes kept flickering to your bandages the entire time he sat there, followed by the flashes of concern on his face every time you had coughed from laughing too hard or accidentally hurt yourself by shifting your body too quickly.

"I'll be alright, Simon." Giving him a reassuring smile, you hoped he'd take your words to heart, "Don't worry about it, I'll be on the field right as rain again in two days tops and you can kick my ass around all you want then. Promise."

He didn't say anything for a moment, and you began to worry that maybe your words were too cheap for him to believe, or maybe that he was more upset than you'd originally thought.

"You better be sure." He finally responded, "I take my promises pretty seriously, remember that, sergeant."

You stared at him all googly-eyed until your lips broke into a wide grin, beaming brightly at him and shouting as he left.

"Message received, L.T!"

a/n: AAAA I haven't written this much in so longgg. I had the first half already down from the last part because it went on for too long, but this one is nearly DOUBLE the word count. It's bound to have some grammar mistakes, but I hope that doesn't ruin the immersion too much. Let me know what you guys think!

#x reader #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty #cod #codmwii #codmw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #captain price x reader #john price x reader #soap x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #roach x reader #gary roach sanderson x reader #task force 141 x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #los vaqueros x reader #platonic

[moonydustx]

So I have this thing...

I need more Law x Reader fics pleeeaassee (；ＴДＴ)

Anyway...

May I ask a reader (up to you what gender) reacting to law proposing to her? Which I doubt canon law would even do but I guess since it's fanfiction, who cares if it's Canon, right???

OMG, this is incredible, hold my hand and I'm with you on this, thank you so much for the request. In my HCs on the Law (I will still post them) I think if it was important for him to do it without even blinking. Surely it would be something more discreet, a small ceremony between just two? I don't know, I might be rambling too much.

Apologies because I didn't have much time to review and maybe I got carried away writing it. I hope you enjoy!

Important: italics are for flashbacks and character readings aloud.

The proposal - favorite moment (part 01)

Part 02 - Part 03

Law counted the minutes until night arrived, it was one of his favorite moments. That was when you would sneak around the submarine and end up knocking on the door on it. In most of these situations, you didn't get out anytime soon. He's not much of a follower on the calendar, celebrating each month together - and come to think of it, everything happened so naturally that it was decided on which day it started to be difficult for you to be a boyfriend.

Like so many other nights, you found yourself doing what was one of the only things Law could name as a hobby. You were nestled between his legs, your body resting on his chest as you attentively read another book. He found himself leaning against the wall, one of his hands resting on his body while with the other he tried to leaf through one of the new editions of Sora comics that he had picked up on the last island he visited.

He had already lost count of how many times the two of you had wasted hours tangled up in his bed reading and something else he was used to hearing you sniffle at something, like you were doing this time. His eyes looked away from the painting and went straight to where you were reading, just out of curiosity. The other times you were sniffling, he had found you reading about some character who died, some reunion, some couple who got together. This time, from what he could see, it was a marriage proposal.

He already knew it was an important topic for you. He also knew that if he had to choose to spend his entire life with someone, it would be you. Law had thought about the hypothesis a few times and when reading the small excerpt from the book, he let himself think about the idea.

"Wow." your feet were planted in front of an immense showcase. Dresses were stacked side by side in various sizes and textures, some with huge trains and others full of silk.

"Don't tell me you're one of those marriage freaks." Ikkaku planted himself next to you, next to Bepo.

"They are beautiful." the bear confirmed, touching the glass.

"Not freak…" you tried to find the words, you really didn't want to sound like a crazy person. "I mean, marriages are two people coming out in love to the world, to the government, to whatever god they may believe in or to no god at all, as if nothing could intervene or separate them."

"Okay, insane then." Shachi appeared behind you, mumbling.

"Actually, that's a nice way of thinking." Ikkaku replied to him, watching you just shrug. "And I won't deny it, they are beautiful dresses."

"Time to go." The captain's voice echoed closer than you imagined, as if he had been there the whole time listening.

Seeing the crew members move forward, agreeing to the captain's request, Law took a few seconds to evaluate the display that had distracted everyone. He could just be daydreaming, but one day you would look incredible wearing a dress like that along with the new name you would carry. Ms. Trafalgar.

From that day on, the idea of ​​proposing to you never left his mind, Law just needed to find the perfect opportunity and it appeared before his eyes.

"Okay…" your choked voice took him out of his reverie. "That's enough tears for today and I'm getting sleepy." you closed the book, turning towards him and snuggling even closer against Law's body.

"Do you mind if I keep reading some more?" he asked and you just mumbled no. His hand got tangled in your strands of hair and it didn't take long for unconsciousness to take you away.

Law gave himself a week to put the plan into practice. The small room at Polar Tang was tidier than usual however you could notice Law more tense than usual behind his back.

"Everything is fine?" you asked, quickly turning to face him. Law seemed distracted from the book in his hands.

"Everything amazing." his lips quickly touched the top of your head. It was now. All the other battles he had faced had not even come close to the anxiety he felt at that moment. "That book you were reading last week?"

"Ah, it's this one. I'm almost done. It's a period romance, princess, knight and all the little things that involves." you laughed, knowing that from your description he would hate the book. "There's no point trying to convince me to read Sora, this one is much cooler."

"So cool you were crying the last time you read it." he said in a teasing tone.

In a casually planned way, even if it went unnoticed in your eyes, he placed the comic he was reading on the bed.

"It's because he was so sweet to her, made an amazing statement."

"Really? Let me see." He moved even closer to your back, looking for space on your shoulder to follow the written words and find the perfect cue.

"Here. Can I read it?"

"Please." he asked, feeling his hands sweat cold.

"Of all the countries I've visited, I don't think I've ever found a home except in you. You've been my home, my safe haven." You started reading, already feeling yourself melting with those words. At the same time, Law took out a small box hidden behind one of the pillows. "So let me be the sword that protects you, the heart that loves you infinitely. I thought happiness would only find me in the next life until I found myself lost in you. What do you mean by that, my love? So, the The knight fell to his knees, the wounds of the battle he faced seemed not to bother him, not when Annya's eyes rested on him. Annya then heard the four words that carried a lifetime of promises…"

"Would you marry me?" Law's voice echoed alongside yours.

Before you could ask what he thought, a small black box appeared in your field of vision. Inside it, a golden ring with a small heart symbol glittered. The book fell from your hands, finding your lap, as you turned to your boyfriend.

"Law?" at that moment, your voice was not the most reliable. As shaky as she was, your vision was blurred by what you suspected were tears. Your hands covered your lips, still not believing what you were seeing.

"Maybe my sword heals you more than defends you, but that doesn't mean I'll let anyone hurt you in this world. You're my home, my safe haven and I can't wait for you to be my wife. I'd even kneel, but It's a little complicated." he smiled, seeing you still paralyzed on top of him. "So, would you marry me?"

"Yes." the first time came out as a whisper. "Yes Yes Yes!" with each new time the word left your lips, you allowed euphoria to take over your body.

Law took your hand, placing a small kiss before putting on the ring and repeating the gesture, as soon as the jewel was in the place where it belonged. His hands pulled you so your legs were around his waist.

"That's…" you even tried to speak, but it was impossible to put everything you felt at the moment into so few words. You saw him pull out a ring that was the same color as yours, without all the details. "Let me do it."

Before he could put it on his own finger, you took it from his hand and repeated the same thing he had done to you. He placed a small kiss between the tattooed fingers and let the jewelry take its rightful place.

"I don't believe." You looked at your hand and then at him. "Law, that was so amazing."

"You're incredible. I can't wait to see you become Mrs. Trafalgar. My beautiful, smart, a little crybaby…" he wiped away your tears, bringing a laugh from your lips. "My dear wife."

"I love you so much." you cupped his face, taking his lips to yours.

Even though it was full of emotions and promises, it was a calm kiss. Law, like you, wanted to record every second of that moment, every inch of skin kissed, every touch.

In the end, Law was also a marriage nut - just with his dear Lady Trafalgar.

----

Little extra:

Law was never a big fan of public displays of affection, but that morning he had made an exception. Seeing you happy, showing off your new ring and the promise of marriage, ideas of what to do on the date, honeymoon suggestions. He couldn’t deny it, it was amazing to see how happy you were with the whole situation.

His happiness was short-lived when he saw three sullen faces - one of them looking like a bear - sitting in front of him.

"So Law, my friend." Penguin began.

"Shut up, it's me."

"But I'm his best friend." Bepo grumbled.

"What do you want?" he asked, trying to understand what the three were discussing so much

"Which of the three of us will be the best man?" Shachi warned and Law watched the three in front of him cross their arms and wait for a response.

Before he could respond, Law felt two arms slide and lock around him.

"We haven't decided that yet guys. We can talk about it later." you asked and watched them begin to argue among themselves who would be what.

"Thanks." Law muttered, making you laugh. You bent down to his ear level.

"And you, I'll be waiting for you in the room. I got someone to cover my duties today, now I want to continue feeling what my dear fiancé can do for me." In contrast to the whispered and sexy voice that left your lips, you left a chaste kiss on Law's cheek and left towards the dorms.

#fiction #reader insert #one piece #no use of y/n #requests open #trafalgar d law x reader #law x reader #law x you #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader

[cowgurrrl]

Ok I have fluff angst idea…Charlie is pregnant and freaking out about telling Joel because she is kinda young. And Joel is mad, scared, excited , crying and also grandpa Joel?!

Hello why did this make me tear up

April, Come She Will

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: it’s canon to me that reader and Joel live to be 100 and nothing bad ever happens to them ever again

Summary: The next generation of Millers find their way [3.6k]

Warnings: teen pregnancy (what’s new for this series lmao), arguing, language, call backs

Charlie's been acting weird for the past few weeks. She's been coming in and out of the house at strange times, not showing up for patrol, and giving you vague answers about where she's been. She's nineteen now, so she doesn't necessarily need you and Joel breathing down her neck all the time, but you still like to know where your kid is. She tells you she's been with Ellie or her boyfriend, Eric, which is fine. You like Eric. You just wish she would spend a little more time at home. 

Charlie and Eric met on patrol. No matter how much you tried to dissuade her from joining the patrol team, she wouldn't listen. She had watched you guys go out and defend Jackson as she grew up and even talked to Ellie about her adventures outside the walls. She knew how to ride a horse, and Joel taught her how to handle a gun. The intention was never to "train" her for patrol but to be prepared in a worst-case situation where she needed to protect herself but the second she was old enough, she signed up. She got paired with Eric, a sweet boy her age she went to school with, for her first patrol, and that was it. They've been together ever since. 

Joel was hesitant when they started dating, but you reminded him she was an adult and could make her own decisions. Eric was somehow more hesitant when Charlie invited him over for a family dinner. Eric grew up hearing stories about your family, and his dad occasionally worked patrol with Joel, but knowing him by proxy is much different than sitting across from him at the dinner table. Joel promised to be on his best behavior, but poor Eric was terrified any time Joel asked him a question. Since then, they've gotten a little closer, but they are by no means buddies. You're a little nicer.

All this runs through your head when Eric trails behind Charlie into the house. It's a Saturday, and you and Joel are off patrol, sitting next to each other on the couch. You were supposed to go see Ellie and Dina, but they rescheduled for next weekend without much explanation as to why. JJ might've gotten in trouble. At seventeen, he has more of Ellie's wild personality than anything else. It's a little fun to watch her try to handle a younger version of herself. 

"Hey, can we talk?" Charlie asks, a slight tremble in her voice. You look up from your book, and Joel leans forward to drop his wood carving knife on the coffee table. She and Eric sit across from you, her leg bouncing anxiously when she does, and you glance between them. You're a little confused as to why Eric has to be here for this, but she's clinging to his hand so hard you almost worry she's gonna break it. Worry claws at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down. Whatever it is, you can handle it.

"Sure, bug," you say. "What's up?" 

"Um, so there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I wanted to get some things squared away before I did because I didn't want you guys to freak out or anything. I understand this is a really big deal, but it's under control, and we have a plan." She explains rapidly, and Joel chuckles as he removes his glasses to rub at his eye.

"You ain't pregnant, are you?" He asks, and Charlie is silent. That's when you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Your mouth goes dry, and you sit up, staring at her like you're waiting for her to say she's joking. "Charlotte," Joel says, his tone even and scarily calm. "You're not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, tears shining in her eyes. "But we… we have a plan. We're gonna get set up in a house, and Ellie's gonna lend us some of JJ's old things, and we're gonna pick up some more shifts before the baby comes. It's all gonna be okay."

You can't help but feel like you set her up for failure, not only with your own teen pregnancy but with your inability to keep her safe. In the old days, you might've been able to put her on birth control or give her condoms when she started dating, but those things aren't on the top of the list for what little FEDRA manufacturing is left. The best "safe sex" talk you could have with her is letting her know her options if she did get pregnant or sick. You hated it, but there wasn't much else you could do. And now look where you are. 

"Mom, can you please say something?" Charlie begs as Eric rubs her back. You thought you'd be prepared for something like this with your and Joel's (and Ellie's) family life starting earlier than most. Instead, you find yourself, possibly for the first time ever, sympathizing with your mother. You pull yourself together enough to open your mouth. 

"You wanna have this baby?" You ask, and she nods. 

"We already decided. We're not gonna get married or anything yet, but yeah, we want this baby," she says. Eric doesn't say anything. You figure that's probably smart. It's only a matter of time before Joel freaks the fuck out about the fact that he got your baby girl pregnant. "That's why I went to Ellie's the other day. I was talking to her, Aunt Dina, and Uncle Jesse about when they had Jay." She says. You try not to be offended that she told Ellie before she told you. You told lots of people before you told your mom you were pregnant. Still, you thought you and Charlie were closer than you and your mom were. 

You look at Joel, the same panic and anger taking over his features, and take a deep breath. He grinds his teeth as he thinks, and you have to stop yourself from scolding him. When you look back at Charlie, her face is splotchy, and her brown eyes sparkle in the mid-afternoon light. She looks so grown up but so little at the same time. Your eyes slide from hers to Eric's wide ones.

"I'm assuming you know the stories about Jane and her dad?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He croaks, and you nod.

"And I'm assuming you know how Joel and I got to Jackson in the first place?" 

"Mom," Charlie starts, but you catch Joel shaking his head at her in your peripheral vision. Eric swallows thickly and nods.

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Good," you say. "If I ever hear anything about you not being there for Charlie or that baby, or if you even think about leaving them, I'll fucking kill you." You haven't had to speak this way in years, and it, obviously, rattles both Charlie and Eric. Good. You hope it does rattle him. 

"Mom!" Charlie scolds, looking to Joel for help, but it's clear that he has your back with this one. You'll be damned if she ends up a single parent like you two were. She scoffs and stands, pulling Eric up with her. "You don't have to listen to this, Eric."

"Yes, he does." You say.

"Baby, what did you think we were gonna say?" Joel asks. 

"That you'd support my decision or, at least, find a way to!" 

"Of course, we support you. I just..." Joel trails off. "I just don't think you know what this means. How much this is gonna change your life. And I know you love each other, but havin' a baby ain't an easy thing."

"That's why we're doing it together," she says, her eyes moving from Joel's to yours. "That's why it's fucking crazy to talk to him like that. And unfair. You didn't act this way when Ellie had JJ." 

"That's because we didn't need to have this same talk with them. Jesse and Dina had already decided to co-parent Jay. There was no way Dina was gonna be a single mom," you say. "But there were three of them, and it was still hard. You were just a baby when he was born, so you don't remember, but it was a lot."

"So, you don't think I can be a mom?" She asks, and you stand with your hands up in defeat.

"I didn't say that. I just want you to be prepared. I remember what it was like, and I-"

"Just because you were miserable when you had Jane doesn't mean everyone is." It's mean and calculated and hits you right where it hurts. It doesn't matter if it's the hormones or not. The sting of her words renders you silent. 

"Don't you speak to your mother that way!" Joel yells. He never yells anymore, especially at Charlie. The scary boom in his voice fills the room, but you catch the glint of tears in his eyes as his breathing stutters. "This ain't just playin' house, Charlie. So, if your mama is a little worried, she's allowed to be. Shit, we're all allowed to lose our fuckin' minds for a minute, but that isn't an excuse to talk bout your family like that." He says, and she taps her shoe on the ground twice, a nervous tick she picked up from Joel.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't just sit here and listen to you threaten Eric like that," she says. You nod but don't apologize. You can't find anything to say. Charlie stares at you like she's waiting for you to lash out or yell at her, but you can't. She wipes a stray tear away furiously and turns away. "I need some air," she mumbles, dragging Eric out of the house before you can even protest. The door slams behind her, and the floorboards she took her first steps on shake with the force. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. He murmurs soft assurances into your hair, his voice cracking and tears spilling from his eyes as he does, and all you can do is let him hold you. 

What the fuck else are you supposed to do?

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the bathroom door in the hall slamming open. You and Joel jolt upright in bed at the sudden sound (old habits die hard, right?), and you sigh as you rub your eyes. You check the alarm clock next to your bed for the time and see it's close to three. The dark mountain town is still asleep outside your window, and you grab a soft flannel from the floor to pull over your shoulders. 

You don't remember falling asleep. You were up, waiting for Charlie to come home so you could talk further, but when the front door opened and closed, and she basically sprinted to her room, you couldn't find the energy for another fight. But when you laid down, you couldn't sleep either, your conversation from earlier playing on a loop in your mind. You and Joel just sat there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until your eyelids got too heavy, and you fell into a dreamless sleep. You couldn't have been asleep for over an hour or two when the bathroom door swung open. Joel looks at you, confused when you stand.

"What are you doin'?" He asks, and you wave him off.

"I know why she's up. Just go back to bed." You say without much explanation before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Your footsteps are loud enough on the tile for her to hear you, so she doesn't flinch when you suddenly pull her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way. She glances at you and softens a little before retching into the toilet again. She does that for another minute or two before her stomach is finally empty, and you can safely let go of her hair. She sighs and leans against the wall as you flush the toilet and hand her a towel. You settle across from her, your back pressed against the sink, and rub her leg as she wipes her face. 

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tips her head back against the wall. She looks tired and weak. All you want to do is scoop her up in your arms like she's three years old again. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. That's my genetics. I was super sick with you and Jane." Her name rolls off your tongue so fast you almost forget the last time it was invoked. The air stiffens between you, and she shifts uncomfortably. 

"How long were you sick for?" She asks softly. You sigh as you track your memory back and try to remember the exact details.  

"About six months," you admit, and she groans. You laugh a little at her reaction, but only because you know how frustrating it is. If you could take it from her, you would. When you settle, she stares at you guiltily and starts picking at the nail bed around her thumb like she can't stand the silence. "Where did you guys go?" you ask to put her out of her misery.

"I just… needed to get out of the house. We walked around town for a while before going to his parent's house," she says. "They still don't know. We wanted to tell y'all first." You nod, unable to give words to your gratitude just yet, and she swallows thickly.  

"You could've stayed," you whisper. "I wanted you to stay."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. For everything." She looks like she could start crying again, so you take a deep breath, scoot over to her, wrap her in your arms, and kiss her temple. You feel her relax into you, and a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"You know your dad and I worry about you. It's not about you not being capable or not smart enough because you are plenty capable and smart. But we also know that it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. There's nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, and that's not me trying to scare you. It's just how it is." You explain, and she nods into your neck. 

"That's what Ellie said, too." She says. 

"Smart kid." 

"I feel like I fucked up," she pivots dramatically, but you hold on tightly and wait for her to continue. I'm right here with you, baby girl, you think. "I want to be happy because Eric seems happy, and you're supposed to be happy when you find out you're pregnant, but I'm so fucking scared." She sounds like she's on the brink of tears again, and you shush her. She sighs heavily and wipes at her face as she leans back enough to see you. "Were you scared when you found out you were pregnant?"

"Both times, I was fucking terrified. With you, it came later, though. Even though your dad and I talked about having another kid and how amazing you'd end up being, I remember going into labor and shaking cause of how scared I was." You say, and she nods. 

"How did you... know you were supposed to be a mom? She asks. It's a loaded question. How does anyone ever know they're "supposed" to be a parent? You certainly didn't think you were meant for anything that important at sixteen, but you do remember why you made the decision you did. 

"I, um…" you trail off, laughing. "I started having these dreams after I found out I was pregnant."

"Dreams?" 

"It was pretty much the same thing over and over again for a few months. I would be going through my regular routine, but this… baby was following me around. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but I knew it was my baby. And it came with me to school, the grocery store, work, everything, and as time passed in my dream, the bigger the baby got. They'd get more personality or start laughing, or their eyes would change colors, and I'd be so in love with them," You know you sound crazy, but that's because it was crazy. "The first few times, I woke up crying because the baby from my dreams wasn't there. I thought there was nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having my kid there," you say. The weight of your words catches up with you, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. "And I was right." You shake your head and take a deep breath, hyper-aware of her eyes on you.

"I had the same dreams when I got pregnant with you, except they were a little different. In all of them, you were always with Ellie and Dad— every single time. I thought you were gonna grow up and not like me as much or whatever other reason my hormones gave me for the change, but, towards the end, you started showing up alone. You were just this little light. I can't describe it exactly, but everything I did in the dream was a little more magical because you were there. Things were shiny or glittery, and you would just giggle and giggle and giggle," you say, smiling at the memory. You grab her hand and squeeze hard, looking directly into her eyes and fighting more tears. "You turned my world technicolor even before you were born, and I knew I would always do everything I could to protect you. That's why I was so hard on Eric. I know he's a good kid and nothing like Jane's dad was, but I don't want you to end up like me, kid." Charlie squeezes your hand, somehow harder than you squeeze her, and a familiar crease appears between her eyebrows.

"Mommy, if I'm half the woman you are, I'd be so fucking happy. Are you kidding me?" She says. 

"Charlotte-" 

"I'm serious," she cuts you off, Joel's commanding yet gentle tone seeping into her voice. "Mom, you made my lunch until I was in high school, and even when I asked you to stop, you still had one ready to go just in case I needed it. You used to take JJ and me to the park so Ellie and Aunt Dina could get some sleep, even though everyone knew that meant you didn't get any. You convinced Dad to talk to Eric because you knew I loved him and wanted him to like him..." She slows down a little bit, scanning your face before she continues. "You kept a kid alive during the Outbreak despite everything. You still buy her flowers on her birthday. You tell me about her. You let me know her," you take a shaky breath, and you can't stop the tears anymore. "You're a good mom, and I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for what I said and for getting pregnant and-" 

This time, you stop her by hugging her tight and letting yourself cry. She gets emotional, too, and a very unlucky Joel finds the two of you crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Like everything, he takes it in stride and joins you two on the floor until the sun breaches over the mountains and a new day shines down. 

It's hard to say things got easier after that day. Eric's parents didn't react very positively at first, and it took them most of her pregnancy to come around. Charlie goes through weeks of sickness and bed rest. They argue a lot about the future and what it should look like, but they get there in the end. The next year, the house is filled with a familiar chatter and chaos. Charlie and Eric's twins (which explains why she felt so bad), Elliot "Ellie" Beth, and April Theresa Miller-Donovan, squeal as Joel takes turns dancing with them in the living room.

Elliot is, obviously, named in honor of your Ellie, but she bears Sarah's middle name. April threw you for a loop. The twins were born in snowy January, confusing you as to why they would name her that and not January, but Charlie smiled as she handed April to you. "Jane's birthday is April 7th. I didn't want to steal your name, but I remember you taking me to the meadow to pick flowers for her. April 7th was always my favorite day." She explained, making you choke up. When she told you April's middle name, you and Joel completely lost it. Theresa, for your Tess, the woman who believed so much in Ellie, she forced you to believe in her, too. The woman who saved your life in more ways than one. The woman who would've absolutely adored Charlie if she ever met her. 

You love being grandparents again— admittedly, a little older than you were the first time around. Joel teaches the girls Spanish words and lets them pull on his beard. You make extra food so your baby has something to eat after the long days and nights of keeping them alive, and you play silly games with them. They don't look like you or Joel or even Charlie or Eric. They look like their own little people. People who will never know the loss, destruction, and nights spent staring hopelessly at walls you went through. People who will grow up safe and loved and cared for. People who carry names they won't be able to put a face to. 

That's okay. They don't need to know about the people you were before you were their grandparents, and maybe it's time for you to try to let that time go. Maybe, in your and Joel's old age, with the deep wrinkles and graying hair, you can just be. Maybe you can just dance in the living room and make warm blankets and fall asleep holding hands. Maybe everything does turn out okay.

#look for the light #thank you for the gorgeous request!! #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller series #joel miller fic #dad!joel miller #the last of us fic #the last of us au #tlou au #joel the last of us #the last of us #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

please consider...... angsty fic where Jesper is in a gunfight and actually gets shot for once. it might only be in the side but just the sudden panic he'd get of realising he's not invincible and Y/N did a whole freaking out and leaving before this could happen. Y/N being scared for good reason..... waking up with Y/N at his bedside????????

For One Last Good Night With You - Jesper Fahey

Content Warnings: Angst. Canon Compliant Violence, Threat And Injury. Explicit Language. Not Beta/Proof Read.

It was such a ridiculous fight. Jesper couldn't have been more convinced that there was nothing less worthy of arguing over than this. But argued about it you did. You had damn near lost your mind trying to make him understand and he just couldn't fathom it.

Did you doubt him? Because every ounce of concern you had, every fear you expressed, it sounded like you thought he couldn't handle himself. It sounded like a dismissal of his capabilities. He couldn't hear it. He couldn't even indulge it. Jesper Fahey, for all his gambling debt, and all the reasons to doubt the facts, might not consider himself lucky, but invincible? That he was sure of.

Jesper spent his days feeling like nothing could touch him, because nothing had. Every job with Kaz, he might have barely made it out of so many of them, but he made it out. He has been out gunned more times than he can count and he left without a thread of his jacket torn, while others did not have that courtesy of that.

Although your concern for him was moving at first, the way you were so clearly worried about him coming home, from what you considered an unnecessarily dangerous job, the amusement he had at it slipped away when he saw just how serious you were. You were worried. Worried so deep and so true that you tried your best to dissuade him from this job, and that should have told Jesper something. But what it told him was you doubted his ability to handle himself. It showed a lack of faith in him. That was so far from the truth, but Jesper wasn't able to see that. Not while you're telling him over and over that you cannot handle the idea of him not coming home. All he could wonder is when had he ever given you cause to doubt him? When had he ever not come back to you? Why did you doubt him?

You had wanted him to see the insanity in the plan, in the odds, not doubt himself. You had tried every type of reasoning you could think of to help Jesper see that you believed in him, but you were scared, and you had all the reasons in the world to be. Something felt wrong here, something felt off and miscalculated and you couldn't explain it, but you were scared for him, scared for him in a way you haven't been before. You wouldn't call yourself superstitious, but you felt it in your bones like a bad omen and you didn't know how to make him see. And the more you tried, the less he heard, the more he seemed determine to prove himself, determined to throw himself into the line of fire. So you walked out.

You walked out into The Barrel without another word because each word seemed to just make more problems than the last and you could not push him even further into this. You had to get out of that argument and that room before you completely broke down. You couldn't change his mind and all your trying seemed to make it worse, so you had to leave. You had to get far away from those words and that feeling, and you had to just hope, hope and saints maybe even pray that Jesper could be lucky this time. Even if luck was not something you believed in, that anyone in The Barrel really believed in. You just hoped that maybe it was enough.

He had been too distracted, and he had been too cocky and the mixture of both on his shoulders are a too dangerous mix for this evening, for this plan, for the eight men he counted as seven.

The bullet landed in the higher side of his left shoulder, and the pain is not remotely close to the shock that hits Jesper with the same force of the bullet. He actually let himself get hit, he hasn't gone that before. He has never felt the way the bullet tears through muscle upon entry and again on exit. The shot is clean and barely hits him low enough to do more than graze, but the blood dripping down on his ruffled shirt is very real and the pain is not something he can ignore.

"Jesper?" Comes Inej's voice from the dark, but his vision is swimming and blurred to the point where he cannot tell if Inej is being her shadow like self or if he is losing consciousness.

He cannot remember a time in his life when his breathing has been this shallow, this laboured, this difficult. He knows it's panic, at least a part of him knows it, but the bigger part of him right now is screaming inside his head. This cannot be how he dies. Not here. Not like this. Not leaving things the way he had with you.

"Jesper!" Inej's voice is louder now, and her hand grips his arm with such a suddenness that if Jesper was in his body he would've reacted so fiercely to. But Jesper is miles away, the pain throbbing, the panic squeezing his chest tighter with every breath, his mind with you.

Jesper thinks maybe Inej is trying to say more words but her voice is losing out against the heaviness of his breath and the sound in his head.

Not like this. Not now. Not like this.

"Please," the word falls from his lips as if every other part of his pleading had been said out loud. If Inej responds, if anyone does, Jesper doesn't hear them before he blacks out.

Fuck.

"Out of the woods? Out of the fucking woods? Brekker if I wasn't preoccupied I would ring your neck," you shout, across the slat. Nina is working her hardest on Jesper's shoulder but the pain lurches him awake. He goes to speak but Nina catches him and fixes him with a look.

"Not a word, luckshot," she tells him. "Not a damn word."

"You're assuming you could get that close to me," Kaz responds. Jesper hadn't been conscious for the Kaz the others had seen a few hours before, the Kaz who saw Jesper, no colour in his eyes, laid out and bleeding on the new rug. The Kaz who's voice wavered, who's attachments became all too clear as he nearly let his cane fall from his viper grip.

"Brekker if he died, nothing could have stopped me from ending you," you warned.

"It wasn't his fault," Inej tried, her knees pulled into her chest, head resting on them, arms wrapped tightly around them, holding herself still and together. She trusted Nina, but nearly seeing Jesper bleed out in an alleyway in The Barrel had taken it out of her. She saw Jesper as a brother, and she had already lost one of those. Kaz felt very much the same but tried to bury it under anger. Anger that fizzled out before it reached yours, it flickered in comparison to your rage.

"I told him, I told all of you," your words sound sore now, like your throat is giving way to them. Jesper knows that sound, even if he wishes he didn't. You'd been crying, and not a gentle cautious, keep yourself contained type of cry, no you had screamed your lungs raw.

He hadn't wanted to say goodbye, and you hadn't want to lose him, both the same. "Inej, Kaz, step outside please," Nina says. "I'm trying to work here and you're not helping."

Inej looks to Nina as if to ask what she had done to be sent away, but Nina just eyed back Kaz and Inej understood: she was being sent to keep Kaz calm, to not risk Kaz trying to get revenge before he'd thought everything through.

Jesper feels himself slipping again, the pain making him giveaway and he tries to speak your name before he succumbs to it, but nothing leaves his mouth, and it's just darkness again.

When Jesper wakes again, he can feel the bandage on his shoulder, he can feel how everything is back where it should be, blood staying inside his body, but it still hurts worse than any hangover. He tries to sit up but only then notices the weight on his chest. You're resting on him, you must've fallen asleep waiting for him to wake. You're exhausted, Jesper has no way to tell how long he had been out, and how long he had made you worry. A thousand different apologies climbed into his mind but not a single one would do, not a single one was good enough.

"Jes?" You mumble as you wake from the steady breathing in Jesper's chest changing to a faster pace.

"I'm awake," he tells you. You look at him and he can see that anger, the anger he had seen before he left for the job, the anger he heard you have when spitting venom at Kaz before, and it melts away.

"You scared me you asshole," you tell him, bundling the fabric of his shirt in your hands.

He places a hand delicately on the side of your face and then without the grace or cocky demeanor you're used to, he pulls you into a kiss. A kiss that tells you that he knows how close he came, how much he scared you, a kiss that tells you he is sorry and he never wants to put you through that again. "I'm sorry Ace," he whispers. A smile breaks on your lips, Ace, his lucky card, you'd always had mixed feelings on that nickname, as you did on anything he related back to gambling, but you'd never been so glad to hear it fall from his lips.

"I love you Jesper Fahey," you tell him plain. He looks back at you, and it's not that he ever doubted it, it's not that you'd never said it. It's just... Hearing it now, felt like the first time, felt like the beginning of something and the culmination of it the same.

"I love you," he says, pulling you in for another kiss, "and I'm sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, just be save... Be alive... Be here."

"Okay," he agrees. "Okay."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #jesper fahey #six of crows jesper #jesper x reader #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fanfiction #jesper fahey my man you are so ridiculously sexy i wish i could be you #angst #angst with a happy ending

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hello, I have a question and you're the only person I can think of who can answer it properly. Not sure if you subscribe to the "Akutagawa fell first" belief for sskk, but if you do, what do you think was the moment in canon that made him fall for Atsushi? Or was it more of a gradual process?

I personally can't pinpoint it because he seems hopelessly smitten during the Moby Dick fight but before that there's nothing. What do you think?

Omg thank you for asking me this I have extremely strong opinions on the matter. This got way longer than I predicted but honestly what did I expect?

I DO firmly stand by the “Akutagawa fell first” statement. I mean, as I've said before, it's hard to interpret the canon events in a way that doesn't frame Akutagawa being in love with Atsushi, while when it comes to Atsushi it's arguable he would even fall at all, and definitely didn't within canon¹. SO, in my very unbiased perception of canon (lie), here's the story of Akutagawa falling for Atsushi:

Akutagawa gets assigned Atsushi as his target for a mission. He doesn't have any strong impression on him. He doesn't know anything about him.

Akutagawa talks with Dazai. Now he's got very personal beef with Atsushi.

Akutagawa and Atsushi fight on the trading ship. There's clashing of morals, the personal beef becomes even more personal and it's surely accentuated by Atsushi defeating him. He definitely hates him with all his guts at this point.

Akutagawa and Atsushi meet again on the Moby Dick. Akutagawa still hates Atsushi, but talking their feelings out on the bridge and on the elevator is a first step towards actually understanding and warming up to each other.

Akutagawa and Atsushi fight together against Fitzgerald and share some heartfelt words of support right beforehand. I'm like, 200% sure the exact moment Akutagawa fell in love with Atsushi is when he told him “if you asked me... I'd say Dazai-san has already recognized you long ago”. Because that's everything for him!!!! More exactly, that's everything Akutagawa ever wanted to hear. That's the most valuable words in the world for Akutagawa, and them coming from Atsushi... I think that made them all the more meaningful for him. Atsushi saying those words meant signing a death sentence for Akutagawa.

They fight together against Fitzgerald and I like to think Akutagawa found it a particularly romantic experience. He's fought alone his whole life, it must have evoked a warm feeling in him. He falls harder.

Now, Akutagawa loving Atsushi doesn't mean he will accept he loves Atsushi. I mean, it's Akutagawa, he's bsd's most stubborn character, and on top of that hating Atsushi is his main drive– he's definitely going to spend ages in denial. He'll meet Atsushi again looking all gloomy one day and he'll be like “Oh shit what's up with that sad puppy face. Oh shit. I guess I'm not fighting Jinko today because.................. Defeating an enemy while he's unhappy will earn me no honour. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It's not that I like him or anything”.

The Cannibalism events happen; Akutagawa and Atsushi beat up some more people, share some more heartfelt moments. Convincing himself that he doesn't like Atsushi is getting harder by day for Akutagawa, and that perhaps makes him the most hostile he's ever been to Atsushi; but he also is in the most harmless way anyone can be hostile. He keeps threatening Atsushi, but he never follows up to his words. Atsushi insults him in the most hurtful way, and he just kinda lets him. He tries to leave Atsushi behind; he turns back to see if Atsushi is tagging along. In the mines, Atsushi is endlessly cruel to Akutagawa, but that's really nothing new; what's new is Atsushi saving his life, Atsushi showing compassion to him, Atsushi wearing Rashomon. What's new is that now he understands Atsushi a little better. And now he's back home with new vivid images of Atsushi in his mind and a freaking self-sabotaging deal he had no reason to accept, and he really can't keep pretending he doesn't love Atsushi anymore.

There's a long narrative break between Akutagawa's Cannibalism appearance and his next appearence. Thirty chapters pass. I like to interpret this long pause as a moment of self-reflection and change for Akutagawa: he finally admitted to himself that he loves Atsushi; he knows that Atsushi doesn't love him back. He stopped killing. He started revalutating his life choices. He knows he doesn't have much left to live. He starts spending more time with his family– maybe even with his coworkers. And he goes to meet Dazai when he calls, and Dazai tells him that he will save Atsushi and he knows the reason why, and Akutagawa knows the reason. And he dies to save Atsushi because he loves him, and it doesn't matter that Atsushi doesn't love him back, what matters is that he does and that his life is worth dying for.

1. I mean. maybe it is arguable. I warmed up to the idea a little more than what I could have said six months ago. But it's still only remotely possible.

#Thank you for this ask!!!! Loved laying this down #I think it's very easy and clean to see the progress of Akutagawa's feelings for Atsushi in the manga!!! #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff

[laufire]

if you're willing, would you mind sharing more of your thoughts on mia/jason? B/c i personally can't see mia wanting anything to do with him (based on the green arrow arc), but i am open to having my mind changed if you have a case for it

sure!

I'll preface this by saying that although I ship them, I don't have A Plot for them yet, the way I do for other of my jason rareships, and thus I have yet to ~envision how I'd personally have it go down. but these are my thoughts on them at the moment.

first of all... the green arrow arc isn't this HORRIBLE, TEERRIBLE, AWFUL thing that happened to mia, or this irredeemable evil jason did, and I'm always baffled whenever I see it talked about that way. like. mia is not a normie kid living her normie life in a slice-of-life teen story. she's a freaking SUPERHERO that risks her freaking LIFE on the regular. jason is this dude one, maybe two years older than her that didn't even want to seriously harm her.

she obviously wouldn't walk out of that encounter with kind thoughts about him. he was an asshole! he wanted to scare her! (and he had a GOAL re: sidekicks and the danger they're exposed to and a point to prove about it, which I always feel is handwaved). but like, jason is not a static character, or not doomed to be at least. he'd have to sincerely apologise, saying that yeah, he was a shit, that was a shitty thing to do, he was projecting some stuff on hers and ollie's relationship that wasn't even true and he's ready to compensate her for it. and again, these are... not normal people. like sorry but I just don't think what jason did in that arc garrants an eternity of hate and enmity to them.

and obviously not hating him forever/seeing his actions for what they were and not more/being able to forgive them in the face of a sincere apology and amendments isn't the same as actually seeing jason as a romantic prospect! but it's a first step into a less than hostile dynamic.

and within that context, I could see mia thinking back on some of the things jason said in their confrontation, about them being alike (also, winick wasn't been subtle in his parallels here, but I've seen people being VERY obtuse about this part of the scene añsldkf). I haven't read mia in a team context/with lots of peers her age yet, but even if she's more likely to find people with commonalities/messed up childhoods among child heroes, common ground is still something to be curious about, to bond over. and such very specific common ground would be something I think she'd value.

I haven't reached that arc yet, but I know mia has also killed, once, in circumstances where she thought she had no other choice. and she doesn't want to do that anymore, she wants to be a hero and stay on the path and raise above. those are things that I find interesting in conjunction to a dynamic with jason, in particular. the way it would lead both to conflict and to a different level of understanding.

also, there's always this sense in posts against these ships where I feel like... mia doesn't have to be perfect. she can be messy and make questionable romantic choices and maybe they pan out or maybe they don't, but it could be something actually fun to explore with her character, to see her in a context like that. less in the "bad boy attraction" sense because really, past aesthetics jason does not fit that role in a romantic sense, but as in getting to explore other sides of her character through a romantic relationship, especially as a character with both a history of sexual abuse and with HIV. and I'm sure there are other candidates for that, both canon and fanon, but it just happens that the first thing I read with her was the Jason Being A Menace arc and that I looooove a meet ugly, especially if it comes with a "recognition through the other (derogatory)" bonus.

anyway. I'm not trying to convince anyone because I'm perfectly happy in my rowboat-sized ships and it's nothing to me if other people disagree or judge me for them lol, but thanks for the chance to talk about them a bit!

#talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #fandom nonsense #jaymia #jason todd #mia dearden #favourites: birds of a feather #replies #anonymous

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [6]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 17,546 (next chapter is at most 10k i promise lol) 

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, canon violence, blood, bruises, mentions of nightmares, ptsd, jason is a little bit of an asshole, mentions of being tortured, mentions of the roof scene, mentions of being kidnapped, yes i did put an utrh reference in here, i eventually fix things with bruce later

Summary:❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I tried to cut out some scenes from this chapter so I'm sorry lol but everything comes back at some point so it's important. I'm super excited for next chapter lol Also idk if you guys look at my chapter titles but sometimes, 2 chapter titles go together and this is one of those cases and I am so sorry lol It's from the song Destroy Me by PALESKIN if you were curious lol I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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By the time the next day comes, Jason and you are nearly as happy as you’ve ever been with each other. Finally, after everything that’s happened and after all these months, you have both the confirmation in your feelings. You have each other, wholly and solely. You are each other's and neither of you could possibly be happier. And for the first time, you're both doing your absolute best to ignore the anxiety that comes with that. For each other.

You both try to ignore the fear of one of you dying, or dying for each other. The fear of one of you leaving or giving up or pushing or running. For the first time, you both are finding it in yourselves to ignore those feelings because you are with the person you both trust the absolute most. And you both know, the other person deserves for you to suck up the fear and the anxiety and make a solid effort in not freaking out. Despite everything you’ve both ever known and been taught, you’re choosing each other and choosing to trust each other to always be by your sides. And you both are so happy. It’s practically euphoric.

“Good luck, Jay.” You offer Jason a sweet and gentle smile as you stand outside of Bruce’s car in front of a large house.

He is not thrilled about this. He’s done it before, several times. It’s exhausting seeing a new shrink, again, and having to tell the same damn stories over and over again. He gets the same diagnoses and that's the end of it. It never really helps. He’s left with another person knowing more about him than he would ever really like. It’s exhausting but it’s this or he’s not Robin anymore. Jason doesn’t give up that easily.

“Yeah.” Jason scoffs, looking to his shoes and back to you. “Thanks.”

“You’ll be fine and it’ll help.” Your smile grows as you pick his hand up in yours.

“We’ll see.” Jason chuckles softly. “Be here when I’m done?” Jason asks with the raise of his brows, hopeful.

In all honesty, you're masking this a bit more tolerable. You promised you’d always come with to drop him off and pick him up. Bruce doesn’t exactly trust you to drop him off. He thinks maybe you’ll ditch the appointments. So, you promise to come with and if you have to spend an hour with Bruce, you’ll do it for him. And he can then bitch to you all he wants about how the shrink doesn’t know shit and Bruce is ridiculous for making him do it. As long as he goes, you’ll be there. Before and after.

“Of course.” You chime, closing the distance between you and capturing his lips in a tender kiss.

“Would rather keep doing this.” Jason mutters against your lips as he snakes his hands onto your waist.

“Too bad.” You kiss him again. “Your mental state comes first, Jaybird.”

Jason chuckles against your lips. “Yeah, alright, princess.”

You laugh softly. “Okay, get in there before you’re late.” You pull away and your smile is gentle. “I love you.” You beam, smiling with full teeth and your eyes are brighter than Jason has ever seen before.

“Love you, too.” Jason chuckles as the fluttering of his heart nearly sends him into cardiac arrest.

You watch Jason walk up the driveway and to the front door before he knocks. You watch and wait until a woman greets him and allows him into her home. A part of you thought maybe he’d try to bail out of it. Actually make a solid effort to anyway. You almost expected him to walk up the driveway and then sprint behind the house and take off, leaving you and Bruce to chase after him. But there he is, going into a therapist’s house on his own and you're happy for him. Relieved.

You don’t always think therapy will help but nothing else is helping him and at the end of the day, he needs help even if he wants to insist he’s fine. Everyone else around him knows he’s not. The limp isn’t because he’s still hurt. You know Bruce well enough to know he would have Jason checked out by a doctor to verify he was fine. It’s in his head which makes it all feel the same as if there were something physically wrong with him. He needs help. And he thinks no one notices his hands and the terrified expression after a nightmare. He can’t work through all his problems alone and he never should have had to. And you're proud of him for doing it even if he’s only doing it so he can be Robin. The point is that he’s going.

“What do we do now?” You ask Bruce as you get back into the front seat.

Bruce almost laughs. You and Jason have been beating around the damn bush since you showed up and you're finally doing something about it. Of course, never mentioning what that thing is to him and he finds the whole exchange a little amusing. Bruce has never told anyone, but Jason has always reminded him a little bit of himself. But, Jason is his son and you clearly make him happy.

“We could grab lunch while we wait.” Bruce offers.

“That’s fine.” You offer Bruce a soft smile.

Your issues remain with him. A part of you thinks Jason’s problem is still Bruce. Bruce was a lot of Dick’s issue. Had Bruce gotten Dick into therapy instead of giving him a mask and a cape, maybe Jericho wouldn’t have died because Dick would have been able to handle his problems better. Or, at the very least, maybe Dick could have handled that entire situation better and it wouldn’t have led Jason and you after Dr, Light. Maybe it wouldn’t have led Jason to the roof that day. Dick is an adult who can handle his own problems, but he was just a kid who was never taught how and you think the same is said for Jason.

Jason’s case is a little different. He wasn’t thirteen when Bruce took him in. But, maybe Bruce still could have done better. You do, however, admire the fact he’s trying now and maybe that’s what matters. He’s here now and trying and doing the one thing that might actually help. Forcing him to get help before he’s Robin again. You will never admit that to anyone though. So, you just go along with him for lunch and try your best.

After lunch, Bruce and you head back to pick up Jason. He’s not feeling great after the therapy session. He was never one that liked it very much. He was tossed around between therapists and psychiatrists while he was in the system. It was always repeating the same story over and over again, none of them offering anything that ever really helped. It was always more a state requirement and not because anyone actually gave a shit where his mental health stood. This therapist seems different than the others but like with everyone, Jason isn’t sure he trusts her. He gave her the same spiel about his parents and asked about her because that seemed easier than the same old boring story. But, she at least communicated with him and that part was at least nice.

“So, how did it go?” You ask once you're back at the manor in your room and away from Bruce. “You don’t have to tell me what you talked about or anything. Just asking how it went.” You shrug with ease.

“Fine, I guess.” Jason shrugs his shoulders as he stands near your fireplace. “Still not fucking happy about it.” A chuckle leaves his lips.

“Figured.” You match the chuckle, leaning back onto your hands, the bed soft under your palms. “When do you go again?”

“Next week.” Jason scoffs.

“Well, I’ll be there for you.” You smile softly at him and Jason thinks that’s the only upside. At least you’ll be there before and after.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jason lets out a breath. “Okay, well fuck that shit.” He approaches you, his eyes narrowing slightly as a smirk splits his lips. “Get ready. We’ve got a date to have.” He leans down, resting his hands on either side of you.

He’s tired of talking. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s going to do everything in his power to avoid it today. It’s too heavy and he wants today to be perfect. It’s your first date. Officially, as a couple.

“Oh, we’re going soon?” You perk up as your stomach swirls. This is real. It’s happening.

“Hell yeah. Got a whole fucking night planned, babe.” His voice is low and the way he smiles like this, the light hits his canines just right and it looks like he has small fangs. He’s so endearing.

“What are we doing?” You beam with excitement as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“You’ll see. Go get ready.” Jason urges, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Okay, Jay.” You peck his lips before Jason pulls up and lets you out of his grasp.

You get up and go to get ready. And Jason starts to feel nervous.

Technically, him and Rose never went on an official date. They mostly ran around Gotham, doing busts and then spent more of their time hiding out in someone’s house. There were no official dates. And come to think of it, Jason doesn’t think he’s ever done this before and he’s thinking maybe he went a little overboard with what he has planned. But he knows you better than anyone and he knows what you like. But then he comes back to realizing maybe he doesn’t know what you would like in forms of a date, it might be different than your usual thing. He’s just hoping he doesn’t royally fuck this up like he tends to have a habit of doing.

You meet Jason back in his room. You don't do much with your hair or your makeup, keeping both mostly the same as usual but you wear one of your nicer jackets. And even then, he swears you look beautiful. He smiles softly at you. He’s so in love with you and he really hopes you like the date.

He walks up to you and takes your hand in his. He hopes you don’t notice his hands are cold and clammy. You do but you think it’s cute. Jason nervous is not something that happens very often but the idea of him being nervous for your date, makes your head swim and your bones vibrate. He’s so cute.

The two of you head off on Jason’s bike, arriving at a movie theater in the city. Jason takes you to see a movie you mentioned wanting to see. It’s simple but it’s something he knows you really like movies. And he’s not one for big fancy dates. This is simple and it’s you. You find the gesture adorable because you don’t like the idea of a fancy restaurant either. This is kind of your thing. You’d go with a group sometimes, sure, but it’s your way of showing him how much you care. Showing him your things and movies is one of those things. And you adore him for it.

After the movie, you head back to the manor where Jason has insisted the date isn’t over yet. While he’s not one for something fancy, he is one for making an effort. Words are hard, they always have been and he knows sometimes he’s never going to be able to tell you exactly what you mean to him. But, for your first date, he can make as big of an effort as he can to show it. Even though you don’t need him to. You already know.

“Okay, keep your eyes closed.” Jason states as you both stand in the main living room, his hand intertwined with yours.

“If you walk me into a door, Jason--”

“I won’t!” Jason laughs. “Do you trust me?” He asks and it’s a little sarcastic and cocky.

“Yes.” You mock, keeping your eyes closed but you want to roll your eyes at him.

“Okay, so trust me.” Jason states as he leads you through the kitchen and into the courtyard.

He looks around, letting out a breath and he definitely owes Molly and Bruce for this one. Though, he thinks they’ll be giving him enough shit that maybe he won’t have to.

“Okay, you can open.” Jason nearly holds his breath as you open your eyes to see the backyard.

There’s a projection screen in the grass with a projector on one of the outdoor tables. Blankets and pillows cover the grass in front of the screen. The tables are lined with a variety of snacks, all of them being your favorite. And there are fairy lights decorating the rest of the courtyard.

Jason remembers what you said about that scene in Tangled, with the lanterns. Fairy lights aren’t lanterns, but they give somewhat of the same effect. So, he took inspiration from it. Because maybe, Jason’s a little bit of a hopeless romantic underneath the trauma. And he’d do anything for you. Cliche and cheesy and all.

“You--how?” You look over at him, eyes wide and a smile tugging at your lips. A lump forms in your throat as your entire chest nearly combusts into flames.

“I asked Molly and Bruce for help while we saw the movie.” Jason grins at you. “You didn’t really think we were just watching a movie for our first date, did you?” Jason quips, hiding his nervousness under his cocky grin.

“You asked for help?” You ask and you're not sure what’s more surprising. The courtyard or Jason asking for help. “I actually knew we’d go see a movie but this? Wow.” You look around, your voice soft and tender.

“Yeah.” Jason scoffs. “Look, you deserve it and you liked that scene in Tangled so. I needed some help while I distracted you.”

You swear it’s perfect because at the end of the night, it’s just him and you. It’s him and you in the courtyard watching your favorite movies. It’s him and you when it matters. He’s thoughtful and caring and kind and loving. Jason has only ever known pain and neglect but when it comes to you, he manages to show love and tenderness. You don’t really understand how he manages it but you're eternally grateful for this boy with dark hair and green eyes.

“It’s beautiful.” You say softly. “Thanks, Jay.”

“You like it?” Jason asks, stuffing his hands into his front pockets, something you've picked up he does when he’s nervous.

“Yes, of course!” You beam. You let go of his hand and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him for a deep kiss. His hands meet your hips as if on instinct, giving a light squeeze.“What’re we watching?” You ask against his lips.

Jason pulls away and there’s a grin of pride and confidence this time. “I’ve got Ready Or Not lined up since we didn’t get a chance to see it before it left theaters and Little Women. I read the book and the trailer seemed good. I think you’ll like it.” Jason states as he squeezes your hips again.

“Do you really remember everything I tell you? And I did want to see Little Women, just didn’t think you’d be into it.” You chuckle softly.

“Yeah,” Jason’s chuckle is gentle this time, bashful even. “It’s important to you.” He rolls his shoulders. “See, I know you.” Jason grins at you, wiggling his brows.

“Yeah, you do.” You scrunch your nose before pressing another kiss to his lips and dropping your arms from him. You head over to the snacks. “This is really nice, Jay.” Your smile is gentle and you love him with every fiber of your existence. “Thank you.”

“You deserve it.” Jason holds his head with pride, joining you to grab snacks.

“I get to plan the next date.” You offer him a devious smirk.

“Now, that’s unsettling.” Jason teases. “But fine.”

The two of you grab your snacks and head off to the blankets and pillows that are laid out for you before Jason starts the first movie. The two of you cuddle up with each other, attention mixing between the movie and each other. Your legs are rested over him as his arm is behind you and you just exist together.

To love, wholly and honestly, is terrifying because of the pain that seems to be intertwined with love. To love is to be brave and honest and optimistic. To love is something powerful but, to be loved back, that’s the greatest feeling in the world.

It’s the acceptance and understanding that comes with being loved back. It’s being loved for every broken piece and every bad, ugly, and terrible moment that comes. It’s knowing there will be bad days and hard days where the world seems to want to destroy every happy and peaceful moment, but choosing that person anyway. Falling in love is accidental, but staying in love is done on purpose. And that is why it’s so indescribable and remarkable and powerful. It is choosing to love and be loved back, risking the pain. And at the end, it’s worth it.

For Jason. And for you.

Over the next few days, everyone gets the news you and Jason have finally made things official. Gar and Kory actually kind of figured you were together. It was more of an inside joke with the Titans back in San Francisco. How long it was going to be before the two of you realized you were actually dating. Gar won. Dick wasn’t in on it (mostly because he thought you were friends this whole time who were just too oblivious and stubborn to say anything). So, they’re all happy to see the two of you happy together. Even Conner who didn’t really get a chance to know Jason and who only knew you for a short time.

Molly is your biggest fan though. She’s the best friend of the two of you. Her best friends are dating each other and she knows you’re both stubborn as hell with minimal self-preservation unless it comes to your hearts. You’ve both always been so guarded and she swears up and down, you’re supposed to be together. You’re the most guarded people she’s ever met and yet, the two of you manage to open up to each other. She swears you’re meant for each other. 

Today, Jason goes out with Molly while you hang back at the manor to have a training session with Bruce and a marathon with Gar afterward. The training session is fine but it's definitely not as fun without Jason. So, you're relieved when you can just sit down and have your marathon with Gar, filling him in a little bit on you and Jason. He's really happy for you both and it means a lot to you. He's your best friend.

But, with the marathon underway, it’s interrupted as Bruce walks into the living room.

“Excuse me.” Bruce calls from the doorway, pulling your attention away from the show and Gar.

“Is that Bruce Wayne?” Gar beams.

“Yes.” You furrow your brows at the screen before looking back at Bruce. “Oh, did you need the living room? I can move to my room.”

“No, no.” Bruce shakes his head. “You're fine in here. I was wondering if I could speak to you, however.”

“Uh…” You look back to your screen. “We’re…we’re kind of watching something, can we talk later or do you need to talk now?” You don’t know why he didn’t just talk to you earlier.

“I would like to talk now before Jason gets home.” Bruce states.

“Oh…” You widen your eyes before looking at the screen. “Pause it and I’ll call you back when we’re done?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. Hey, Bruce.” Gar chimes.

“Hello, Garfield.” Bruce chuckles slightly as he walks further into the living room.

“Okay, I’ll call you soon. Don’t continue without me.” You warn with a fake glare that turns into a cheeky smile before you end the call.

Bruce takes a seat at the armchair beside the couch and you watch him cautiously. It’s weird. You don’t really talk one-on-one and if you were being honest, you prefer it that way. You're growing to like Bruce, slowly. He doesn’t seem so bad. It’s just, every time you have that thought, you can hear Dick in the back of your head warning you. And Jason telling you about Dick taking out one of the trackers he knew about and how he shouldn’t do that because Bruce is looking out for them. And you catch yourself keeping your distance. So, you don’t normally talk like this unless you have to and it’s sending off alarms in your head.

“What’s up?” You ask slowly.

“How are you?”

You raise a brow at him. It’s weird because Bruce definitely doesn’t seem the type to be asking someone how they are. “Uh…fine. Yeah, I’m fine.” You nod at him, giving him a soft smile. “Why?” Your eyes narrow with suspicion.

“You have been through a lot. I wanted to make sure you were okay with everything that has happened.”

“Uh…yeah? Still fine, just the usual, I guess.” This is fucking weird. Even for Bruce Wayne. “Why didn’t you ask earlier?”

“We were training. I didn’t want to distract you.” Bruce sucks in a deep breath.

“Um…okay. Well, I’m fine. I’m just trying to watch some stuff with Gar.” You nod your head and he said he wants to talk before Jason gets home which means there is something about Jason he wants to talk about. “Bruce, I appreciate you checking up on me but if I’m being honest, I think you know I’m fine or that I will be and I am getting better because I know Dick and Jason filled you in. So, I think you’re asking how I am so you can ask about Jason.”

“I do want to know how you are.” Bruce defends in his usual stoic way that's somehow a little unsettling.

“Yeah, no, I mean I’m sure you care and everything. But, if what you really want to know is about Jason, you can just ask.” You let out a sigh and you can’t understand why these bird boys have to beat around the damn bush so much. “If you wanted to ask about me, it wouldn’t matter if Jason were home.” You nod your head as you scrunch your nose.

Bruce lets out something you think might be a chuckle. “Is he okay?”

You blink at him because you can’t believe he’s asking you that. Surely, he knows. That’s why he’s going to therapy because he’s not. Seriously what is it with the batboys that they can’t just talk?

“You sent him to a shrink?” You question.

“I mean,” Bruce clarifies. “Since going. He hasn’t said much to me. I want to make sure he’s okay.”

Truthfully, if Bruce actually wanted to be honest, that isn’t really why he’s asking. He sees a lot of himself in Jason. That is the problem. He doesn’t want Jason running himself into the ground over being Robin. Bruce has done that to himself too many times. He’s been thinking about it and what Jason means to him as a son. He’s worried about him, even with the therapy. Bruce knows you care about him. He hopes that’s enough for you to give him some insight

“Why?” You ask slowly as you narrow your eyes.

“He’s my son and I’m worried about him.” Bruce answers candidly.

“Yeah, no, I mean why are you asking me?” You shake your head, a snip your voice. It’s not your job to communicate for the two of them. They’re adults.

“I thought you might know.” Bruce nods.

“Of course, I know, I know everything about him. But you should know if he’s okay.” You widen your eyes as you furrow your brows. “He’s your son.”

Bruce lets out a sigh of defeat but you keep talking.

You have more to say. It’s not your job to communicate between the two of them but it’s clear someone needs to. You don’t care much for Bruce but Jason does. And that’s important. And he’s not okay. You think seeing Leslie will help him but, maybe telling Bruce isn’t such a bad idea. Jason needs the help and that means telling Bruce.

“Bruce, I think Jason Todd has never been okay a single day in his life.” Your voice is quiet and normally you wouldn’t be saying anything but it’s gotten to the point where you're really worried about him.

You being officially together over the last week has been absolutely incredible. You both are certainly the happiest you’ve both ever been with each other. But, Jason is derailing anyway and you always knew it would happen. Your validation for him is not what he needs. It will never be the thing that he needs because you're not Bruce and you're not Dick and that’s fine. It is never about your validation when it comes to him. His issues lie with the two of them, not you. So, Bruce making him see a therapist, is driving him a little bit insane. It’s only been a week though, so you hold out hope maybe it’ll help in the long run. But, you tell Bruce anyway because he should know. He always should have known.

Bruce nods with understanding. “He has not had an easy life.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You let out a scoff. “I think saying he hasn’t had an easy life is putting it lightly.” There’s a snark and a bite to your voice because you can just hear Dick in the back of your head.

Not to trust him. It doesn't matter that Bruce and Dick sorted out their shit. A part of him doesn’t trust Bruce and every time you think maybe, just maybe, Bruce has changed enough where Dick is wrong, he says something or does something where you know he hasn’t. This is one of those things. He shouldn’t be asking you if Jason is okay or saying he hasn’t had an easy life. It’s his literal job to know if Jason is okay and how to help him. It shouldn’t be up to you to tell him.

Bruce nods. “It’s been rough for him.”

“Ya know, it’s just….I don’t think Jason has ever felt….protected, safe, cared for….or loved in….at least most of his life. He felt, at least, most of that here and as Robin but all of that is gone and Deathstroke changed a lot of that. Bruce, he’s not okay and I am only even telling you this because I’m worried.”

Being happy in a relationship doesn’t make the pain of everything traumatic that’s happened just go away. It doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t suddenly fix and mend and cure mental illness. You wish it did but it doesn’t. Being happy and traumatized can co-exist. He is happy with you and you know that, but in the last week, he’s still waking up screaming from nightmares and he’s still limping after training. He’s still terrified. And you're endlessly worried about him.

“He can’t be Robin again, not yet. I made mistakes with Dick and I don’t want to repeat them with Jason. That’s why I want him to see Leslie.”

It’s not that you agree or disagree with it. But you do want to know why Bruce treats Jason and Dick the same way. They’re wildly different people. Maybe taking Robin from Dick and sending him to therapy would have worked, simple as that. But Jason isn’t Dick. Robin means everything to him. Why can’t he be Robin and see Leslie? Why does he have to be benched entirely instead of half the week even? It’s just not very fair to Jason, in your opinion.

“Okay, I get that, but you know Jason. He’s gonna prove to you he can be Robin.” You shake your head. “He’s going along with it for right now and maybe it’ll help. I hope it does, but what if it doesn’t?” You raise.

“We’ll have to have that conversation if we get there.”

“Okay yeah, and what you want him to just see a shrink for the next year with his fingers crossed he’s not permanently benched from the most important thing in his life? Only for something to happen and you rip it away from him entirely?”

“You believe he should be Robin at this point? You just said yourself he is not okay. It’s not safe for him to be out there. Do you think it would be safe to send him out there if he is deemed not well enough?”

It's not that. It's that you know, firsthand, that Jason will absolutely go out of his way to prove himself. You both do it. Jason isn't going to be able to stay benched for months on end. He's just not going to. And you know that. The fact Bruce doesn't when he knows why Jason wanted to go after Dr. Light, is infuriating. And it scares the hell out of you.

He's going to prove himself if Bruce doesn't give him Robin back eventually. One day, Jason is gonna think he's had enough and he just needs to prove himself and he'll try. The last time that happened, you both were kidnapped, tortured, and dropped from a skyscraper. And that is lucky. Somehow, that was actually lucky because you both made it out alive. What happens if he doesn't get so lucky next time?

“Whatever I think about him being Robin is completely irrelevant. It’s not my place to have an opinion. It is yours but…I’m just saying, he’s gonna prove to you he can be Robin eventually. He’ll get bored and tired of waiting.” You state. “He did in San Francisco.” You shake your head. “He’s gonna get himself killed one day if he does that, to prove you wrong.”

With Robin off the table, the training sessions have gotten…a little nuts. He’s rougher than usual and you can handle it just fine, he's not out of control. But he’s more relentless. He’s training himself into the ground again. He just wants to prove to Bruce that not only is he capable, but he’s better than Dick ever could be. Without even realizing it, Bruce doing this and the way he treated Dick, he’s pitting them against each other. And Jason is set on proving to Bruce he’s fine. No matter the cost.

“He won’t do that. He knows the rules. If I tell him not to go—“

“Dude, seriously? We knew the rules in San Francisco, too and then we went anyway. Jason is your responsibility and you have to do something, I can do everything I can but it’s not gonna be enough.” You stress because even when you have hope that therapy is gonna help over time, you aren’t sure if Jason is actually going to put in the time to let it work. And you're worried what will happen if he quits.

“I can’t let him be Robin and let him get killed out there. You said yourself, he will get killed out there. I made mistakes in the past, I cannot repeat them.”

A part of you want to blow. You were always right about him. He wouldn’t have to worry so damn much if he would stop recruiting kids to be fucking Robin. He wouldn’t have to worry so much if he would stop weaponizing their grief. He turned Jason and Dick into weapons and he’s, somehow, the one paying the consequences of that. You think the whole thing is ridiculous. It’s like he doesn’t see what he’s done to either of them and how fucked up this whole thing is. But, that’s not your place to tell him off about him recruiting people. For Jason’s sake. So, you decide you're gonna fall back on your usual reasoning for having a distaste towards him.

“Okay, you know what, you wouldn’t have to worry so fucking much if you’d just kill those fucks. Like, you know that right?” You snip.

“We do not kill people.” Bruce’s jaw squares just slightly. “We talked about this. Once you kill one person, it gets easier to kill the next until the lines blur. We cannot be the ones deciding who lives and who dies.”

You let out a scoff followed by a hollowed laugh. “And at what point is that not good enough?” You grit your teeth. “How many times have you captured the Joker?”

Bruce knows the number but he won’t say. “Several. I always catch him.”

“And every time Joker escapes, he kills at least one person. So, if over the last 10 years, you got more than 10 people killed by letting the Joker roam around and one of those people were my mom.” A lump forms in your throat with the mention of your mom. It’s some sick joke him and the Joker like to play almost. It’s like a damn game of chicken in the worst fucking way. “You let the Joker kill my mom. I’m not talking about Penguin or Scarecrow, I’m talking about killing the Joker. He puts bombs in buildings for fun. He’s killed thousands of people since I’ve been alive. You could have saved those innocent people if you would have just killed the Joker.” You shake your head. “And he’s the main one you’re worried about, right? He just escaped Arkham again, right?”

You shake your head and this whole thing is insane. It’s not even that you expect Bruce to toss his morals out the window. But you think it’s something he should consider if he's so damn worried about it. Deathstroke was different. He was the best mercenary in the world. You and Jason never stood a chance but the fuckeads here? Bruce’s usuals, they aren’t much concern besides one. And you know it. That’s why you’re having this talk right now.

“It’s the Joker. We literally laughed in Penguin’s face. Mr. Freeze, Bane, Scarecrow, and Mad Hatter are all locked up. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy aren’t even a concern. The Riddler doesn’t kill people. I know you are not worried about fucking Condiment Man or Kite Man. I can keep going. But it always comes back to the Joker being the main concern, if Jason fucks up out there with him, that's it. Right?”

Bruce gains a scowl. He doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. You aren’t right but you aren’t wrong either. “It is not just about the Joker. And I cannot cross that line.” Bruce states firmly. “You should know that. You cannot cross that line either. The Joker is still a person and I will not determine if he gets to live or die. That is not how this works.”

“And what are you gonna do when he kills Jason? Or Dick? Or the next Robin? It’s gonna happen, it will. He’ll kill one of them eventually and then it’ll be too late.”

“I will not kill him for a what if situation.” Bruce lets out a sigh and this is not where he thought this conversation was going to go. A part of him thinks there’s a chance you're doing this on purpose to avoid telling him more about Jason. You're good at deflecting and not just when it’s about yourself. “That is not justice.”

“Then the guilt will eat you alive when it happens and then I’ll find a way, myself, to kill whoever kills him. Joker’s death is inevitable regardless and you could prevent the death of your sons.” You shake your head and get up from your spot, grabbing the tablet from the table. “I respect what you try to do as Batman and taking in Dick and Jason. I think that’s admirable. But, I think everyone has morals and sometimes you have to toss your morals aside for the greater good.”

“Even if that means someone has to die?”

“The Joker is a homicidal psychopathic sadist…so yeah. I don’t narc, I don’t tell anyone what happens with me and Jason, ever. But I’m telling you that he is not okay. Putting my morals aside because I care about him. I know you do, too, but you need to figure out how to get that through his thick skull or let him be Robin. It’s that simple. Always has been. Always will be.” You end the conversation, heading back to your room because that conversation was going nowhere and it never will.

You feel your blood boil and there is just something about Bruce sometimes. You don’t see it. You don’t see why Jason looks up to him so much. Maybe it’s just because Bruce saved him. Maybe some part of Jason is so hung up on that that he can’t see through Bruce’s other bullshit. But it irks you anyway, even when Bruce is genuinely trying to be better with him.

You just find the whole thing real rich. If he didn’t want to watch his kids die, he shouldn’t have offered them the vigilante lifestyle from the beginning. Maybe they both would have ended up here anyway. They both like to help people and that can’t be just a Bruce thing. But, maybe it would have been safer.

Maybe had Bruce offered therapy from the start, it would have been better or if he could just have a damn conversation with them. Literally, anything could work besides what he’s doing now. Training them to be brainwashed, taking them out to the cabin, training their bodies into a world of pain. Manipulating them with the idea of being invincible because of a mask and a cape. Anything has to be better than that.

And you feel like you can’t even tell Jason about it because he’ll get mad and annoyed further with Bruce. He’ll be annoyed he went to you to talk. And you know him, you just know he’ll think it’s because Bruce doesn’t think he’s good enough and you can’t let him think that about himself. And it is not your place to complain about his adoptive father. So, you keep it to yourself as you grind your teeth and call Gar back.

You pretend everything is fine as you and Gar continue your marathon until Jason gets home a few hours later.

“Hello, beautiful.” Jason chimes as he stands in the doorway of your room.

You look over with burning cheeks. He looks happy right now. So, you smile back, pretend like you aren’t still annoyed with Bruce. The call with Gar helped but then he had to go and the annoyance flooded you once more.

“Jaybird.” You say with ease as Jason walks into your room, tossing his jacket onto the end of your bed.

“How’s Gar?” He presses a kiss to your forehead before sitting down beside you.

“Good.” You answer simply as you suck in a breath. “He, uh, he misses us and Rachel but he said he’s good. He really likes being a Titan, you know Gar.” You laugh softly.

“He could come visit.” Jason chuckles softly.

He misses him, too. They lived down the hall from each other for four months and went through some crazy shit together. They’re best friends. Jason thinks it’d be cool to have Gar come. He could show him the Batcave.

“That’s what I said.” You widen your eyes. “He said he’d ask Dick about it.”

“Cool.” Jason laughs softly.

“Yeah.” You let out a breath as you look back to the tablet.

Jason watches you carefully and he knows you. Something’s off. You usually have more to say. You usually ask about Molly or whatever Jason is up to when he comes back home. You didn’t this time and you look like you're not really here with him. Your eyes are distant. The corners don’t crinkle when you laugh. Your jaw is clenching and you didn’t even mention what you and Gar watched.

“You going out tonight?” He asks and his words are a little flat.

He doesn’t mean for them to be. But, it’s sore. You still go out with Bruce. You asked him what you should do because you didn’t want to overstep. Going out on patrol with Bruce is Jason’s thing. But, you don’t really want to give it up either. You love patrolling and the more you do it, the more you understand why Robin has become Jason’s entire world. But, if Jason asked you not to go with Bruce, you wouldn’t. You’d go on your own if you had to. But, Jason assured you it was fine even if it hurts, even if he wants to tell you to not to do it. Even if feels like you're overstepping.

You shake your head and furrow your brows, bringing your attention back to him. “No, I just wanna stay here with you tonight.” You scrunch your nose, trying not to set off Jason’s alarm bells.

You don’t want to be around Bruce. The only thing you want to do is be with Jason tonight. You love patrolling but not tonight. Not tonight when you're reminded of the cruelty you face every day and the life-or-death stakes that exist outside of this manor. Outside of this safe bubble. The conversation, knowing the Joker is out there and likely who Bruce will be trailing tonight, reminds you of what could happen out there. You know. You already know but sometimes conversations take place and it becomes real. Patrolling and fighting, that’s fun and it’s easy to forget the stakes. And while you're terrified of Jason dying, he’s not the one going out there right now. You are. What would he do if you didn’t come home?

You just want to stay here with him tonight. It’s too heavy tonight.

“What’s wrong?” Jason asks, searching your face for any indicators.

“Nothing.” You lie. “Can’t want to stay in for a night with my boyfriend?” You say it like that on purpose but Jason sees through it.

You aren’t as insistent on patrol as he is. But you haven’t missed a single night since you got the suit. You're turning it down and he doesn’t get why. There’s something wrong and he knows it. He always knows.

“I know your fucking obsessed with me,” Jason starts with a chuckle, earning himself an eye roll. “But, I know when something’s going on with you.”

“It’s nothing, Jay.” You sigh. “I just want to stay in.”

“What happened?” Jason pushes, gritting his teeth because now he’s thinking someone did something. To you.

He thinks of the conversation with Molly, how she thinks you'll run. She told him she's worried that you're gonna be the one to fuck it up, not him. And that if you do, Jason should just not let you, even if he wants to push. It's what you both do, push and run. Molly is right. It’s what you do but if you both don't want to hurt each other, you both need to find a way not to do that. So, he tries.

“Can you drop it, please? I’m fine.” You rest a hand on his cheek, offering a tender smile. “Thank you.”

“Worried about you.” Jason states.

“How the tables have turned.” You widen your eyes, dropping your hand.

“I’m fucking serious.” Jason doesn’t so much as grin at you.

He can’t lose you. He is so certain of that. He can’t lose you in any capacity. So, he pushes just as you do with him. There’s something wrong and if someone did something, to scare you out of going on patrol, he doesn’t care what Bruce says. He’ll go back out there.

“I….Bruce he talked to me about something and I just…” You grit your teeth. “I don’t want to go out tonight.” You shrug your shoulders, voice laced in annoyance.

“What did he do?” There’s a mix of anger and confusion in his voice. Jason trusts Bruce but he knows as much as you fake it, he knows you don’t.

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “Just, uh…Joker was brought up and you know. Shit sucks. So I just don’t want to go out tonight.” You bite your tongue with every worry you have because you can’t burden him with it.

You can't put worried thoughts into his head. He has enough going on. And you know that he does worry, in his own way, when you're out there. He's more subtle than you are and he's not nearly as paranoid but he loves you and wants you to be safe. It's a natural thing. You don't want to add to that burden by saying you're worried about what he'd do if you died. On top of the rest of the conversation with Bruce, it's just too much and you don't want him to deal with it. Not right now.

“Your mom?” Jason asks.

“Yeah.”

“You know you can tell me, right?” Jason questions, getting the feeling it’s more than that. When it involves your mom, you're sad and you tell him. You seem annoyed today.

“I know.” You offer a weak smile. Guilt feeling heavy in your chest. “It’s just….it’s heavy today and I’m tired of it being heavy. I’m fine though, Jaybird. Can you just…..read to me when Bruce leaves, please?”

Jason nods softly, moving closer to you. “Yeah, of course. Did you want to talk about it?” He asks before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Thanks, Jay.” You smile softly. “No, I’m okay.”

“You and me.” Jason smiles softly and he’s worried about you, too.

You rest your forehead against his shoulder. “I’m sorry, it’s just one of those days, ya know? Where it just…”

“Feels worse again.” Jason finishes.

“Yeah.” You pick your head up.

He wants to help and Bruce doesn’t leave for a few more hours. So, his solution is training. It always helps you, too anyway. He just doesn’t want you to feel the heaviness of it and if he doesn’t have to carry the weight alone, neither do you. It’s like he told you, you can put it on him. He’ll carry it for you.

“I get it.” Jason stands up abruptly. “Wanna train about it?” Jason wiggles his brows, offering you his hand.

You roll your eyes but there’s a smile tugging on your lips. He always gets it. “Yeah, I almost won yesterday.” You put your hand in his, getting to your feet.

“Maybe I let you win one round, think of that?” Jason teases.

“You wouldn’t let me win anything.” You scrunch your nose. “You’re too competitive.” You beam at him as Jason lets out a laugh and swings his arm over your shoulders.

“Guess that’s true.” He says as the two of you make your way to train.

You know you’ll tell him your concerns later and tell him about Bruce because while it might not be fair to tell him, it’s also not fair for you to hide it. He trusts you and he’s doing better about telling you everything that bothers him. You owe him the same. But right now, it's just too heavy to deal with and you just want to sit with him and forget about everything for a while.

Jason is really good about helping you forget and letting you relax so it’s easier to tell him. It's one of the many reasons you adore him and wholeheartedly love him more than anything on this planet.

After a few rounds of sparring, you having lost because Jason really can’t let you win, you move to the targets. When Jason runs out on his end, he takes a break, sitting a few feet behind you and to the right, having a drink of Gatorade.

He watches you when you train. There’s something enthralling about it. You throw the knives at the target with so little effort, Jason can’t help but stare. He remembers how bad you were at combat all those months ago. He never told you, but you were not good. It was obvious you never wanted to throw a punch, like you never hit someone before and you hadn’t. Maybe a part of him thought you might be hopeless. Even when you fought Jerry, Jason is pretty sure you only got as far as you did because he was surprised and you had a hit of adrenaline hit your system from the anger. You never stood a chance otherwise. But now, you make Jason actually put up a fight in training.

He puts in effort to make sure you don’t pin him now. You never miss a target. You're even getting over your fear of heights with having to grapple from building to building and with being on so many rooftops. You're so good at all of this now and his entire chest warms because he knows a part of that is because of him. But the other part, wants to completely shatter.

On the one hand, you never wanted to be violent. You told him that, more than once. You never wanted to be this way and now you are. It’s not his fault. He didn’t make you that way. That was Jerry, that was the Joker. But he looks at what you've become and he feels guilty anyway because he doesn’t stop you from being violent. He encourages it. And he thinks of how he was before Robin.

It wasn’t that Jason was violent. That was never it. He could pick a fight just as good as the next person. But it was out of survival. It wasn’t because he liked the bloody and bruised knuckles. Or coming back with his body covered in shades of navy and maroon and the pain that went along with it. It was how he had to survive. Fight or die. Fight or let people take advantage of him.

He was small. He got lucky he grew taller as he got older but he was a small kid. It was either learn to fight and take what he could or get taken advantage of or die trying. It was learn to fight and hold his own or deal with whatever his dad would dish out or the new guy his mom brought home that didn’t really like kids. It was never that he wanted to be violent.

He was just angry with the world. Robin gives him the outlet. Robin lets him be violent in a way that’s productive. Robin lets him choose violence. Robin lets him pick fights that matter. Robin lets him let the anger and the violent side of him be a good thing instead of something that hinders him and something people find to be annoying and a nuisance. Robin has given him so fucking much including that outlet and he can’t lose it. And he just gets so fucking mad when he thinks about it. He’s mad about it being taken away and mad at Bruce and a little mad at you for getting to use his outlet as your own, even when he knows that’s not fair.

It’s the anger that always got the best of him. Not the violence.

“Where’s your head, Jay?” You ask, looking over your shoulder from the targets as Jason sits on the floor behind you.

Jason snaps away from his thoughts, looking over to you. “What?” He furrows his brows up at you.

“You’re quiet and you’re never quiet unless something is bothering you.”

It’s only been two weeks but you know him better than anyone. It’s been rough for him not having Robin. He wasn’t Robin, technically, in San Francisco. He wasn’t supposed to be anyway. He was supposed to be taking a break but that didn’t seem to bother him as much as it does now. You’re not entirely sure what the difference is this time but whatever it is, you’ve got this feeling that there’s something more going on. Something’s poking at his head.

Jason shakes his head. “Want to get back out there.” Jason scoffs.

You nod. “Yeah…” You suck in a breath, looking at your target full of knives before you move to sit in front of him. You match his position, stretching your legs out right beside his with your hands on the floor behind you to hold your weight. “You sure it doesn’t bug you I go out?” You ask.

Of course, it bothers him. That’s his thing. But, it’s yours, too. Maybe it wouldn’t sting as much if you weren’t going out with Bruce. But, there’s nothing he can do about it and it would be wrong for him to even try. So, he bites his tongue about it.

“It’s fine, it’s your thing, too.”

You shake your head. “Yeah, but if it bothers you, I can wait until you get Robin back or I can just go out on my own.” You offer.

The first night Jason was benched, Bruce asked if you’d still join I’m for patrol. Jason assured you it was fine. So, you went and you talked later about it. He swore up and down it would be fine. You like to go out on patrol. You like to help people and who is he to try and take that away from you? You’d never do that to him.

“You think Bruce will be okay with that? You going out on your own?” Jason quips.

You grin before you let out a laugh. “Well, probably not anymore.”

Jason furrows his brows, his eyes scanning over your face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You bounce around how to tell him about your conversation with Bruce earlier without including the stuff about him. It’s hard because on the one hand, you respect Bruce but on the other, he can be a little insufferable. And Jason looks up to him for reasons you don’t really think you’ll entirely understand. It’s not your place to speak poorly of him to Jason. So, you tell him but you hope he doesn’t ask what sparked the conversation in the first place.

“We, uh, we had a moral disagreement today.” You chew the inside of your cheek as you raise your brows.

“Ah,” Jason nods his head. “That why you don’t wanna go out tonight?” The moral disagreement doesn’t surprise him. He knows how you feel about all of it but he is a little surprised you even brought up to Bruce.

“Amongst a few other things but yeah. I think he might think I’ll kill people now.” You roll your eyes.

Jason lets out a snort. “What the hell did you even say to make him think that?” Jason shakes his head. “Wait, let me guess.”

“I’m listening.” You gesture a hand for him to continue.

Jason clears his throat. “You should kill the Joker. He’s a piece of shit maniac clown who kills people for fun. He should be dead.” Jason grins at you. “Sound about right?”

“Shut the fuck up.” You groan through a laugh as you tilt your head back. “No.” You shake your head at him. “I said he was a homicidal, psychotic, sadist.” You state. “And that he should die, yes.” You mutter softly while Jason lets out a booming laugh.

He is certain you’ll never let it go which he doesn’t blame you for. He gets it. He doesn’t like his dad but a part of him still wanted to go after Two-Face. Dick went after Zucco. Parents are killed and their kids want to take revenge. But, he also knows you and he doesn’t think you’d ever actually try to kill anyone, but especially the Joker. You have more self-preservation than that.

“And he said something about we don’t cross that line or whatever?”

“Yep.” Your eyes widen as you nod your head. “Him and Dick think it’s ridiculous as if Dick didn’t feel that same way, ya know? But it’s the Joker. So, uh, I might have said his death is inevitable.” You scrunch your nose and maybe that was the wrong choice of words.

Jason eyes you carefully and there is something going on with you, too. It’s one thing to have the moral disagreement with Bruce but to actually say anyone’s death in inevitable seems a little off. Jason’s so wrapped in his own anger, he’s started to wonder if he’s missing anything with you.

“Okay seriously, what the fuck is going on?” Jason nudges your leg with his.

“Nothing. I don’t think I really meant it or anything but I kind of wonder if Bruce thinks I’m serious and thinks I’m like a ticking time bomb or something.” You roll your eyes.

“Did he take the shit from you? The suit or anything?” Jason questions and he is getting increasingly more curious what even started that whole conversation and got you mad enough to say anything to Bruce.

“No. Why?”

“Then he doesn’t think you’re gonna out and kill people.” Jason chuckles. “He’d take it away and send you to Leslie if he thought you were serious.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief.” You chuckle softly. “Still don’t wanna go out tonight though.” You shake your head.

Jason pulls his legs to his chest, resting his forearms over his knees. “What started the whole conversation anyway? Did something happen?”

You pause and you hate lying to him. It’s the one thing you really don’t do with him. But, telling him why Bruce even talked to you, that just doesn’t seem fair. You worry he might take Bruce’s concern the wrong way. Maybe it’ll send him spiraling even further. Maybe it’s best if you just keep that to yourself.

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s nothing, really.” You assure him before you suck in a breath. “Seriously though, if you have a problem with me going out, you can tell me.”

The switch back the topic at hand does not go unnoticed and that’s also uncharacteristic of you lately. You tell him everything that bothers you and what leads to it bothering you.

“I said it’s fine.” Jason states. “If something’s going on with you, you’d tell me, right?” Jason questions.

You nod your head. “Of course. Nothing’s, uh, nothing’s going on. You need to stop worrying.” You offer him a cheeky grin and he knows you’re lying. “Look, Jay, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t stand a chance out there. I know it’s hard being benched and I don’t wanna make it harder for you.”

“You said yourself, you like going out there.” Jason bites his tongue.

“Yeah, but if it weren’t for you, I’d never stand a chance. I know it’s hard for you to be benched and I go out. I don’t wanna make it harder for you.”

He knows you’re lying but he can’t figure out why you would lie to him about something like that. It doesn’t seem important or serious enough to need a lie. Maybe a part of him is even hurt you won’t tell him. But, he knows it’s not fair to push because you don’t push him when he’s adamant about not tellin you. He hopes you’ll tell him later when it’s not so fresh.

Jason scoots closer to you, resting a hand on your thigh. “I’m fine, alright? Go out kick and some ass, with or without Bruce.” Jason grins at you. “Stop worrying so much.”

“I’ll always worry, I love you.” You smile wildly at him.

“Yeah, I love you, too.” Jason chuckles softly. “I'm fine, I’ll be back out there in no time.”

“Good, miss you out there with me.”

“I got you, babe.” Jason presses a kiss to your lips. “Spar again, then dinner?”

“Yeah, okay.”

The next day, Jason and you head off the coffee shop to meet up with Molly. It’s colder than it has been. The air is crisp as you walk inside, hands in your jackets. It seems to fit the mood. Your hearts are heavy in your chests, matching your sleep-deprived eyes. Last night was bad.

And Molly is sat at your usual table with a smile.

You think this is good. Maybe hanging out with Molly, the three of you will be a good distraction for him. It’s been only been two weeks, but you know he’s already going stir-crazy. The more you think about it, you're surprised it took him three months in San Francisco to finally break the rules and go out.

“Hey.” You chime.

“Sorry, we’re late, Molly.” Jason takes his jacket off, throwing it over the back of his chair before he sits beside you.

“It’s cool, I ordered for you guys.” Molly states with ease, barely looking up from her laptop. When she does, she has a look at the two of you, Jason specifically. She glances to you before going back to Jason.

He looks more tired than usual lately. But today, he looks exhausted. The bags under his eyes are thick and his grin seems lazier than usual. And she knows you've been more tired lately, too. When you hang out, you nod off and completely space out mid-conversation. You look extra tired today as you lean your head on Jason’s shoulder.

“You look…tired. Are you sleeping?” Molly keeps her eyes on Jason.

You glance to Jason with a heavy heart, last night was rough. He woke up screaming at the top of his lungs. He got you in the face with his elbow. He sputtered apology after apology, nearly throwing himself into a guilt-ridden panic attack over it. It was fine, it was an accident. He was having a nightmare.

You eventually got him to calm down and fall back asleep but that only lasted about two hours before he woke up screaming again. This went on all night. It was bad. No, he’s not sleeping.

“Don’t worry so much.” Jason brushes it off with a smile.

It’s one thing for you to know but he doesn’t want Molly to know even if it’s written on his face that he isn’t sleeping. He still feels guilty and tired and annoyed and angry and frustrated. He swears taking Robin away has made the nightmare worse. Everything feels worse.

“We just had a late movie night.” You state.

“And what about you? You look tired, too.”

“I’m sleeping fine. Jason’s right, don’t worry so much.” You lift your head from Jason’s shoulder.

“What’re you working on?” Jason changes the subject as you lean forward, fully engaging with the topic change.

Molly let’s it rest. It seems weird but it’s the two to you. It’s always a little weird. Your sleep schedules are a mess anyway.

Molly turns the laptop around so Jason and you can see. The screen has a large picture, a missing person's flyer. The sidebar contains others with other missing kids.

“Diego from the shelter went missing.” Molly states, her voice annoyed “Rumor is, The Joker’s got a dude on the streets taking in strays. Diego’s poor and brown so you know the cops don’t give a shit.” Molly shakes her head with a scoff, taking the laptop back.

You feel your blood boiling. That’s the shit you want to do. You want to target those terrible people who are bringing in kids. Kids are innocent. The three of you at this very table were once innocent and you should have been able to stay that way. It was ripped from you and you never want another kid to deal with any of that. That dickhead, has got to fucking go. And who the hell works with the Joker anyway?

“Batman will take care of him.” Jason states, crossing his arms on the table as he leans forward slightly.

You snap your attention at him, narrowing your eyes. “Right.” You nod your head, getting a confused look from Jason.

“Batman protects rich people.” Molly closes the laptop, resting it on the seat beside her. “Be careful, Jason, living in that fake house got you slipping.” Molly crosses her arms. “Should’ve stayed in San Francisco.” There’s a slight bite to Molly’s words.

“Fuck Sam Fransciso.” Jason states. “That whole thing was a mistake. Gotham’s where I need to be.”

“You’ve been different since you’ve been back.” Molly leans forward, she glances to you who raise a brow in confusion

Jason leans back in his seat, brows knitting together. “Different how?”

“I don’t know. Like something happened over it here.” Molly looks to you.

“Nothing happened.” Jason brushes it off coolly. “I was bored, so I left.” You think that’s one way to put it.

“It was boring as shit there. It was nice, but it’s not Gotham.” You back Jason up. This whole thing would be easier if Molly knew the truth. You want to know how everyone can keep up with all the lies.

“Okay.” Molly lets out a breath, not believing either of you. Something definitely happened over there. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it—“

Jason leans forward, not wanting to deal with the integration. “Where’s this guy who’s picking up the street kids?” There’s a grin that tugs on his lips and you know he’s about to go track the guy down. And you for one, are completely on board.

Molly looks to you who now also looks extremely engaged. She has a bad feeling but she does know. “I heard he’s hanging near a shelter on Dunsmuir.”

“Show us.” Jason states.

He’s not Robin but he still has the same abilities without the suit. He is itching to be out there doing something and Molly has a point. Bruce does look out for the rich. Kids like Diego can get left behind. This is a chance for him to do something. To prove to himself he can do it, even without the Robin suit. He can deal with a lowlife picking up street kids. He could do it in his sleep.

“Yeah, take us.” You match the grin Jason has and Molly finds the whole thing a bit unsettling.

Molly lets out a scoff as she deadpans. “Right. Cause you’re cops now.”

“I’m serious.” Jason urges. “Let’s just go see if he’s there.” Jason's grin is wild and dangerous as he looks to you.

“Come on, let’s go.” You jump in. “It won’t be so bad or anything. Especially if he’s recruiting kids.”

You're worried about Jason but you’ll be together. He’s one lowlife working for the Joker. That’s easy. Jason can just threaten him, get a picture, call it good. Neither of you can sit by and let him do this. Plus, you think Jason might need the pick-me-up.

“And then what?” Molly can’t believe the two of you. You are both completely insane.

“Take some photos. Show them to the cops. It’s worth trying.” Jason states and he’s so convincing.

“It’s better than sitting here talking about it.” You offer. “It’ll be quick anyway.”

Molly glances between the two of you and she can’t help but find some part of this amusing, you share a similar grin. Ones that got her into trouble, ones she knows means you’re both up to no good. Ones she knows she’ll regret listening to. And she knows it’s such a bad idea. You aren’t cops. You have no business finding this guy. But, she knows Diego stands no chance if you don’t at least try.

“Fine.” Molly agrees reluctantly.

You and Jason share a triumphant grin between the two of you. Jason swears this won’t be like Deathstroke. He’ll be on better alert in case there is a team this time and he knows you will, too. You’re going to find a lowlife, not a supervillain. And besides, with Molly there, him and you won’t do anything too reckless to make sure she doesn’t get caught in the crossfire. This will be fine.

The three of you make the walk toward the shelter. Small flurries fall from the sky on your walk. You look around at the snow with a soft smile. You haven’t seen snow in a year and maybe a small part of you missed it. Maybe it feels like home in a weird way.

“How’s Sheila?” You ask, walking between the two of them, your right hand tangled with Jason’s.

“Yeah, no.” Molly scoffs. “She was the wrong one. Might even date boys again.” Molly states.

You let out a laugh. “Seriously that bad? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You're going through some shit.” Molly shrugs. You and Jason have asked about her and Sheila but Molly is the observant friend. The two of you always seem like you have real shit going on. She didn’t want to bother either of you with her relationship problems when, for once, you and Jason seem happy in one. “Broke up yesterday, you didn’t miss much besides screaming and her throwing things.”

“That’s also a lovely breakup.” You give a large nod with the roll of your eyes. You never cared much for Sheila. Sheila was the jealous type.

“Yeah.” Molly scoffs. “It’s cool though.” Molly shrugs.

“Yeah, you deserve someone better anyway. Didn’t she lose her shit on you for being home like five minutes late?” Jason asks, glancing over to her.

“That should have been one of my red flags.” Molly lets out a dry laugh.

“Yeah, maybe.” You agree.

The three of you reach an alley where you see an older man sitting on the hood of his car with a girl standing in front of him who looks way too young to be around him. She has a bottle in a brown paper bag and he looks like he’s a little too friendly with her. You can’t help the way your hand squeezes Jason's as you feel the anger start to bubble in the pit of your stomach. Jason glances to you, squeezing back.

“Over there.” Molly states. “Gotta be him.”

Jason lets go of your hand and pulls out his phone, taking a picture and using the software on his phone to do a check on him. The software runs facial recognition through the system, pulling up his extensive rap sheet. You peek over at the screen, making out a few of the charges and this is the shit that pisses you off.

Why do they keep letting him out? He is very clearly a danger to the public and yet he gets to roam around free, hurting more kids. Now, he gets to work with the damn Joker of all people. He’s got to go.

“Got him?” Molly asks.

“Hold on.” Jason says as it finishes loading. “Name’s Pete Hawkins. Piece of shit’s been in and out of Blackgate. Hooked up with the Joker last year.” Jason explains.

“Another piece of shit they refuse to keep locked up because they don’t actually give a fuck about the general public.” You let out a bitter scoff, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

“How do you know that?” Molly asks, looking between the two of you.

“Told you. I’m still me.” Jason smiles cheekily at her.

“Right. That’s one of those things that sounds real cool, but doesn’t actually mean anything.”

“Means he’s got it covered and he’s good at it.” You smile softly with the shrug of your shoulders.

Jason nudges you with his shoulder. “Let’s go introduce ourselves.” Jason suggests and you knew this was gonna happen. “Just a conversation. That’s all, come on.” Jason takes a step forward as Molly looks to you for help.

“It’ll be fine,” You step forward with Jason. “We’re just gonna talk and that’ll be it. Don’t worry.” You offer a soft smile and you’ve been here before.

You're confident, similar to Jason, this won’t be Deathstroke. This isn’t Dr. Light. This is just some guy. This is your home. This is your city. It won’t be like last time. You swear it won’t be and it can’t be because you have Molly with you. You swear it but you feel the fear creep into your stomach anyway.

The three of you make your way down the alley until you reach this guy. The closer you get, you can hear some of the conversation. He gave her alcohol. And he compliments her smile and tells her he can introduce her to someone that can make her smile. You nearly gag. He doesn’t deserve to be here.

“It never works out like that.” Jason states as the three of you stand in front of them.

“Yeah, it’s all sweet talk until you’re in too deep then it’s anything but sweet.” You add in, your hands warm in your pockets.

There’s a silence that consumes all of you for a few seconds. The man eyes the three of you, not quite confused but annoyed. The girl though, she looks uneasy. She looked uneasy before you approached anyway. And this guy is just gonna let her feel that way. He was going to use it against her.

“Give us a second.” Pete states to the girl. “Keep the drink.” The girl nods her head and walks away, glancing back at all of you on her way down the alley. “We have a problem?” He asks.

“A little young for you isn’t she, hoss?” Jason questions.

Jason also can't stand people like this guy. He was a kid once. He remembers it all. No one was there to protect him and he can protect himself but what about the other kids? That's supposed to be the point of Batman and Robin. To protect those who can't protect themselves. He doesn't need the suit to threaten this guy and try to find out where, at least, Diego is.

“She’s old enough to make her own choices,” He states back.

“Yeah? And exactly how old is old enough then?” You quip back. “Cause, uh, she didn’t look old enough.”

“Do I know you?” He questions, the annoyance soaking his words.

“I’m fuck,” Jason starts. “She's off.” Jason gestures to you. “We hate clowns.”

“Clowns?” Pete asks but there’s a seriousness in his voice.

“You know the type.” You state.

Molly watches the two of you and she’s getting the idea you’ve done this before. That seems a little weird and somehow not even close to surprising. But, she can’t figure out why you would do this? In your free time. Do you and Jason just go around Gotham interrogating people?

“Maybe you ran across a kid?” Jason asks. “Diego.”

“Martinez.” Molly finishes.

Pete shifts just slightly and Jason takes that opportunity to close the distance between them, getting in his face. You watch the two of them carefully, waiting for any quick movements, waiting for the throbbing to start, so you move to stand in front of Molly. You knew it was never going to be just talking and that’s fine with you. That girl was lucky you showed up and he should know he can’t get away with what he’s doing and what he wants to do.

“You know him?” Jason asks.

“You must have me confused with someone else.” Pete says but there’s almost a mocking tone in his voice. Jason stares him down and it goes eerily silent for a few seconds. Pete doesn’t like the look and you're getting the feeling this is going to go south.“You haven’t done enough time to look at me like that.”

“You have no idea who I am.” Jason's voice is low and unwavering, despite the fear pushing at his chest and vibrating his blood like a relentless and agonizing earthquake.

Molly gets the idea this going to turn violent. He’s done time and she knows Jason can fight but maybe not him. So, she moves past you and walks forward, touching Jason’s arm to grab his attention.

“Jason, let’s get out of here.” Molly says as Jason looks at her and as soon he does, a gun cocks.

It’s fast, happening in just a second. The gun is cocked as Jason looks back to Pete who puts the gun right under his chin. He was just waiting for his opportunity. You swear under your breath because for some reason, you thought he’d be fine. He knows better.

“Where’s your swag, cowboy?” Pete asks as you quickly move to Molly, yanking her back and behind you.

Jason freezes, flashes of Deathstroke cross his eyes. The beatings, the pain in his leg is agonizing. It throbs and if he didn’t know better, he’d swear it were bleeding right here, right now. He falls again and again and again. Everything that happened flashes his eyes and he can’t breathe and he can’t move. Why can’t he move? He has no time to react before Pete smacks him across the face with the gun, sending Jason to the ground.

“Jason!” Molly screams, trying to push you to the side.

“You shut your mouth, bitch!” Pete threatens as he aims the gun at her, you keep her blocked, locking eyes with Pete with your mouth in a hard line.

Jason tries to get up but Pete kicks him in the face. Jason starts coughing up blood onto the ground. He’s weak. Why is he weak? He’s fought men three times the size with ease. But Pete kicks him and kicks him and kicks him over and over. In the stomach and the side, over and over again. Jason tries to back away but he’s on the ground and useless.

He was never like this. He was never afraid of everything. It never caused him harm before. If anything, fear managed to protect him. It has always kept him on high alert. It made sure he could be physically and emotionally safe from anyone that would hurt him. But, now, all it's doing is getting him beaten up. It's traumatizing reliving the same damn fear every single day. He's so damn tired of it. He's so sick of being weak. And scared.

Jason rolls on his side where Pete kicks him again and you've had enough. You tried to give Jason a little bit of time to get it together, hoping he'd be able to. But, you can't stand by and hope anymore. You push Molly to the side and move towards Pete.

“Hey, dickhead!” You get his attention, taking a solid swing to his face and then another. “You wanna fucking fight, let’s fucking go.” You have a wild look in your eyes as he points the gun at you, Molly rushing to check on Jason. “Aw, cute! You think I’m scared?” You taunt him, the throbbing in your head intensifies and you move out of the way just as he fires the gun. “Missed me, fuckface.”

You swore you'd never be unprepared again and you pull out a knife from your belt hidden under your coat. In a swift motion, you nail him in the leg. He yells out and shoots again, you already out of the way by the time he fires.

Jason hears the gunshots through the ringing of his ears and he'll never forgive himself if you get shot because he couldn't even get a single punch in. You shouldn't be taking him on, by yourself, just because he couldn't. Because he started it. You're here again. Jason's idea. You in the middle of it.

“What the fuck.” Pete grits his teeth as he pulls the knife out.

“I got more if that’s not enough for you.” You pull out another knife, tossing it between your fingers. “Bet I can nail your jugular in a single shot. Wanna find out?” You question. “If your gun is fully loaded, you have fourteen more shots. So, we can go fourteen more rounds if you want and then I can hit your jugular. I do love target practice.”

Pete grits his teeth, holding the wound and he’s missed two shots already. Whatever you have going on, isn't worth his time right now.

“I’ll see you around.” Pete threatens you before he walks off.

You let out a breath of relief as you rush over to the two on the ground. Jason is still coughing and trying to gain his breath. Molly’s hand is on his shoulder. You can see the bloody gash near his temple and he should have had this. Maybe it’s worse than even you thought it was.

You and Molly help him to his feet, Jason brushing the both of you off. He struggles to gain his footing, the pain in his leg is as bad as it was when Deathstroke cut out the tracker. His entire body is aching with every breath. He’s embarrassed and pissed.

“Look, you’re hurt, we need to get you to a hospital—“ Molly starts once Jason is on his feet.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” Jason says, keeping his voice level. It’s not her fault.

“Jay.” You state.

He can't. He can't do it and he doesn't want to.

“Just tell me what I can to help—“ Molly starts.

“Get the fuck away from me, okay?” Jason screams, gesturing his arm in the other direction.

He doesn’t want help. He’s tired of people offering to help. He doesn’t fucking want it. It doesn’t fucking help. Nothing is helping. It’s been months and he’s still paralyzed with fear. Every single time, it seems to be getting better, it just gets worse. He relives it over and over and over. It’s drowning him even when he knows how to swim.

Molly stands for a second, her heart aching being yelled at. Jason doesn’t yell at her. Jason never yells at her. Tears brim in her eyes. She’s just worried about him. He just had a gun pulled at him and got the shit beat out of him. It was terrifying.

You let out a breath and you can tell Molly’s never seen him like this. Of course, she hasn't because she doesn't know. She doesn't know about Robin or Deathstroke. It's one of those times you wish desperately that she did because she'd understand. But, she doesn't and she's going to be the one left confused and hurt.

“It’s okay.” You turn to Molly walking her towards the alley. “It’s fine, okay? I got him.” You nod your head with a weak smile

Molly stares at you in disbelief. You can’t be serious because you were just shot at. How is this fucking fine? Neither of you are fine and Molly is sick of you both trying to fool yourselves and her.

“What the hell was that? With you? He almost shot you!” Molly panics, looking you over just to make sure he missed.

“I’ve been shot at before, it’s fine. Just something I picked up.” Your voice shakes and that’s new.

Your hands are vibrating at your sides and you're realizing, it’s getting a little hard to breathe. But it’s the realization that you have been shot at before. You were left for dead, twice. It all comes back in a wave but you have to push through it. Molly can’t know and Jason needs you. You need to check on him. You can’t panic over it. It happened months ago. And you weren’t the one tortured and kidnapped by CADMUS. It’s not your trauma to process.

“You were what!?”

“Molly, it’s fine. He’ll be fine. Just go home.” You keep your voice calm and pleading.

“He’s hurt.” Molly urges with tears in her eyes.

“He’s fine, okay? I’ll look him over—“

“You’re not a doctor.” Molly grits her teeth.

“I know. I’ll get him to go, okay? Just, head home and I’ll call you. It’s fine. I promise.” You pull her in for a hug before walking back off to Jason who’s pacing and fuming.

Molly pauses for a second before she decides to listen. Jason and you aren’t gonna listen to her anyway.

“You, too!” Jason screams at you.

He doesn’t want your help either. He doesn’t deserve it. The cruel voices are back, louder than ever and echoing through the deepest parts of his chest. They scream and cackle, telling him over and over that he's not good enough. Anyone could have beaten that guy up. Anyone could have taken him and anyone would know he had a gun. Of course, he had a gun. But, Jason's terrified of everything. He's too scared. He's weak and useless and hopeless. 

“No!” You yell back. “I’m not fucking leaving you here like this.”

“Get away!” Jason’s voice cracks as he stands in front of you.

“No! Molly’s right. You’re hurt. We need to get back.” You urge him as you reach for his shoulders.

He can't go back. Bruce is going to be home and he's going to have questions. What if this gets him benched permanently? What if this proves Bruce right? What if Bruce gives up on him entirely?

“No fuck that shit!” Jason brushes you off and he’s so fucking sick of this shit. “Leave me alone!”

“Jason.” You grit your teeth. “What the hell is going on?” You move forward anyway and cup his face, minding the blood.

“Just leave me alone, please.” Jason pleads with you as a lump grows in his throat. He’s so fucking sick of this. He’s so exhausted from feeling this way.

“You know I won’t, Jay.” Your eyes soften as your heart breaks for him.

Jason takes your hands in his. “You fucking should. I’m fucked up. You deserve better anyway. Go the fuck home.”

He’s pushing. Your heart breaks and you're gonna keep fighting. You have a lot of regrets and one of those is not fighting for him sooner. You always should have. You're not gonna repeat that regret. So, you're gonna fight and if he wants to push, he’ll have to try a lot harder than that.

“Jason, don’t do this.” You beg him. “Come home with me, please.”

He shakes his head and he can’t. He’ll pay for it later. He knows he will. He’s gonna push as hard as he possibly can to get you away from him. He doesn’t want you near him. He’s fucked up. He’s useless and weak and a mess. You don’t deserve him. He doesn’t want you coming to his rescue. It’s not your job and it never should be. Jason has always been able to take care of himself alone. This is no different. He doesn’t want your damn help. He doesn’t want it. It’s embarrassing. Humiliating. He loves you but he's in so much pain right now he has to do the one thing he’s always been best at. Pushing.

He’ll regret it.

“No.” Jason huffs. “I’m not going fucking home!” He yells. “Get the fuck out of here. I don’t need you bailing me out! I could have fucking handled it!”

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, your voice cracking. You tug your sleeves down, Jason catching the action.

You haven’t done that in a month around him. He crumbles with the act. He knows pushing hurts you and that’s not fair just because he’s hurt. You don’t deserve it and maybe he’s right. Maybe you really do deserve better. He can’t take it back. He didn’t mean to hurt you. Not on purpose. He can’t take it back and he can’t deal with it all. He can’t deal with more guilt and pain and disappointment.

“Just leave me the fuck alone, alright?” Jason scoffs and he walks past you, knowing you’ll never leave. You don’t have it in you to walk away. So, he does.

He knows you’ll get him to break if he stays. You've always been good at getting him to calm down and be reasonable. But that’s not what he wants to be right now. He almost wants to be angry about it. He just wants to be alone, away from every person he’s disappointed and that includes you.

You watch him walk away as tears brim your eyes. You were making progress and now you’re back here. What is so different than before? You've had to bail him out before this and it wasn’t this bad. He didn’t push like this. And you realize the difference is Robin, the difference is always Robin.

At least when he was Robin, he had that to fall back on. He could chalk up his freezing to still being able to be Robin later. He’d have a second shot at it. He’d get a third shot. He was still Robin but Bruce benched him and now he’s getting his ass kicked by some nobody trafficking kids to the Joker. He has nothing left to fall back on. Every horrible thought he ever had about himself has become true today. He is useless. He is weak. He is not good enough. And you hate that he even feels that way.

But you can’t follow him because then you’ll just fight and that’s not something you want to do. He doesn’t need to feel worse over an argument with you. So, you let him walk away and you make your way down the alley.

You head back to the cafe where your bike is parked and you decide to hang out for half an hour, hoping Jason will come back. You can go back to the manor together and make sure he’s actually okay but as the time ticks by, there’s no sign of him and he’s not answering his phone. Jason is really good at pushing.

Jason looks at his phone and it's cold. It's snowing. You should just go home but he knows you're definitely still waiting for him. But, he's not even close to being ready to talk or cool down.

Jason: go home be back later I’m fine

Jason looks at his phone, watching the bubble show up. He’s still so angry with himself for all of it. He can’t even look you in the eyes right now. He doesn’t want to do anything. He just wants to be alone. But you worry. It’s been half an hour and at the very least, he can text you that he’s fine.

Y/n 😍: I don’t want to go back without you

Jason’s heart sinks as he reads the text. He hesitates over the keyboard. He almost types out “too bad” but he can't bring himself to type it out. It'll be even worse if it does.

Jason: you have to get ready for patrol tonight anyway stop worrying

Jason shuts his phone off as soon as the text sends. He simply can't. He knows he just fucked up your whole relationship. It’s been two weeks and he just fucked it all up. He’s not good enough anyway. It doesn’t matter. And yet it breaks his heart in two.

All he wants is to be Robin and be good enough again. He doesn't want to be so tired anymore. He's tired of it all. The nightmares and shaking hands. He's tired of the leg pain and the headaches and the nausea and racing heartbeat that makes him feel like he's going to pass out. He's tired of disappointing everyone and letting them down and not being good enough. He's tired of being weak. 

You let out a sigh, texting him back saying you don't have to go but the read receipt doesn't come through. You want to give him some more time to come around before you head back. So, you get on your bike and decide to head to Excellent Gotham. You always like it there anyway and it’ll be warm. And Jason knows that. If he wants to come around, he'll know where to find you.

You open the take-out container of your food once you're seated at your favorite table against the back wall. You try to eat while you scroll on your phone. Gar posted a new picture of him with Conner and Krypto at a park. Dick and Kory are seated at a picnic table behind them. A smile tugs at your lips as you double-tap the picture and pull up the comments.

You: @/dickgrayson @/koriandr look real cozy in the background 👀

You send the comment, mostly to harass Dick. You can’t do it in person, but you can do it through social media. It is something that can cheer you up usually. And you smile softly, remembering when Kory told you and Gar how Donna was the one that showed her how to work Instagram and helped her set up her account. You miss all of them.

@/dickgrayson: we were talking?

You: wE wErE tAlKiNg 🥴

@/garlogan: they’re always “talking”

You:“talking” is the first stage @/dickgrayson “don’t do anything…graphic”

@/garlogan: 😂🤮

@/dickgrayson: NOT FUNNY

@/garlogan: yes it is

You: you said it first 😂 sorry @/koriandr ily 💕

You laugh softly to yourself. You'll never miss an opportunity to bug him. You scroll through a few more photos until your attention is pulled from your phone when someone sits down in front of you.

“Hey.” Tim chimes. “You here alone?”

“Uh…yeah.” You shake your head. “Why?”

Every time you come here and Tim is here, you have a conversation about anything, really. This isn’t too weird of an exchange but you find it odd anyway for him to ask.

“You never come here alone anymore. Jason and Molly are always with you.” Tim gestures with his hand. “Everything okay?”

Tim is observant. He notices and remembers everything about everything and everybody. Before you left, you’d come in alone but since you started showing up again, you're always with Molly or Jason. Tim hasn’t seen you alone at all since. He notices you tugging your sleeves down when you order and the fact you always sit with your back up against a wall, looking out over the entire restaurant, something he doesn’t ever remember you doing. You’ve had enough conversations over the years that he considers you friends, friends enough to ask anyway.

“All good.” You shrug your shoulders, brushing it off.

Tim sighs. “My dad said you seemed down.” It’s not a lie. Mr. Drake did say that but Tim noticed anyway.

You laugh softly, nodding your head. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure? You can tell me if you want. I know we don’t know each other that well, but might help. Then I don’t have to run a delivery.” Tim chuckles.

He’s always so warm. You don’t think you've ever seen Tim seem down, annoyed but not down. He’s always excited to talk about whatever new thing has been picking at his mind. He was one of the people that told you he suspected there was a new Robin. Batman and the crazy maniacs of Gotham were a topic of discussion on occasion. And boy could he ramble about it. But, you always felt like you could trust him.

He doesn’t really know Jason. He kind of knows Molly but it was you and Tim that had the most conversation. He doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t know what happened to you or where you were and what happened. He doesn’t know any of it. And you find that a bit comforting. You trust him enough to at least talk a little bit because having to not tell anyone anything because everyone you know knows Jason is really difficult sometimes.

“Just, uh, some shit is going on and I, uh, can’t tell anyone about most of it.” You shake your head. “Me and Jason got into a fight and uh, I don’t know. He pushes sometimes. It’s fine, ya know? I get it but it, uh, it sucks anyway.” You chew the inside of your cheek.

Tim furrows his brows. “So, he gets mad and pushes you away? That’s not fair to you.” He lazily points a finger at you.

“Yeah, but he has shit going on.” You defend.

“That’s not an excuse.” Tim scoffs. “He seems cool. I don’t know him. I’m just saying, no one deserves to be pushed just because someone’s going through shit.”

“Well, he’s not an asshole to me. And I do the same shit so, ya know?”

“Well, I still think he shouldn’t do it." Tim states casually. "Why’s he do it anyway?“ Tim asks and you raise a brow at him. "I'm just saying, you're together so why's he still pushing you away?"

“I’m so serious, if you ever bring this up, I’ll kill you.” You threaten softly and Tim nods, gesturing for you to contiue. “Everyone gives up on him and I just…don’t? I’m like the only person who hasn’t and I’m not going to. I don’t even know why people do. He’s an ass sometimes and he’s all bark and bite. But, I don’t get it anyway, right? Because when you give a fuck about someone you don’t just give up cause shit gets hard. Or they fuck up. But it’s like he’s so damn used to it that when I simply don’t give up, he freaks out a little more when shit, like today, happens.” You state, keeping it a bit vague on the actual events.

Tim nods his head and he agrees. He believes in second chances. He doesn’t think people should just give up on people. He’s fucked up several times and his parents don’t give up on him. They were not happy about him dropping out but they’re not giving up on him. He doesn’t know what happened and he highly doubts you're gonna be less vague if he asks. But, he also knows some things you definitely don’t know he knows.

Tim knows. He knows Jason is Robin. Dick was Robin. Bruce is Batman. He knows you're Bluejay, a vigilante name the Gothamites have given you all because of your blue suit and you patrol with Batman. You do not talk about the irony in it. At least it's a little better than Acid Fingers. But, Tim is very observant. With a photographic memory.

Dick is one of two people in the world who can perform a specific flip and Robin 1.0 and Nightwing can also perform that trick which means Bruce Wayne is Batman. Jason was adopted by Bruce after Robin 1.0 left which means Jason has to be Robin 2.0, on top of the fact Tim remembers seeing videos and him and Robin 2.0 walk the same way. They share the same stride and confidence. And that’s how he figured out you're Bluejay.

The way you walk, how you hold yourself. You're living with Bruce Wayne, dating Jason Todd. It’s all pretty obvious to him in all fairness. So, he is kind of guessing whatever is going on has something to do with the vigilante life and that’s not something he can so much help with. But, he can try.

“Do you want my advice?” Tim asks.

“Sure?” You question.

“You said he pushes so, have you tried…letting him?”

“The point is that I don’t? So, I’m not like everyone else and I don't give up on people very much.”

“Yeah, but, you not letting him doesn’t work with whatever is going on, right?”

“I guess?”

“So, let him. And he’ll come back, right? Be there when he comes back. You said, it’s what he does. So, maybe you,” Tim gestures towards you as he leans back in his seat. “Being there all the time is suffocating him.” Tim states casually. “You could give him the space and when he comes around, be there like you normally would. Maybe he just needs the space, right?”

“I--” You pause and that’s kind of a good point you haven’t thought of. “I…yeah, actually that kind of makes sense. I just…worry about him. If you knew, you’d know why, ya know?”

“So, tell him you’ll give him space or whatever but he has to check in and tell you he’s fine so you’re not worried.”

You groan, putting your head on the table for a second before picking it back up again. “That’s actually a good idea. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“It’s easier from the outside sometimes.” Tim chuckles awkwardly.

“Thanks, Tim. I will try that.” You nod softly.

“You're welcome.” Tim smiles warmly. "So, you decided to just come here because you had a fight and wait for him to come around?"

“Oh, you really don’t want to work. Don’t you have like schoolwork to do or something?” You quip with a grin tugging at your lips.

“I dropped out.” Tim shifts in his seat slightly.

“Why? Aren’t you like a genius?”

Tim shrugs casually. “I mean not...”

“He does our books.” Mr. Drake calls from the counter making you laugh.

“Genius.” You state with a nod.

“Kind of.” Tim rolls his shoulders.

“I just, uh, I always liked it here. Your family is always here, and always felt real warm. And, uh, ya know? Been a while since I felt that so. Like, whole family dynamic thing.” You nod your head.

“Oh, well, in that case, you can run my deliveries. Really feel the warmth of a family then.” Tim nods twice with a toothy grin, glancing to his dad.

“No, I’m good.” You laugh. “That’s all you, Timmy.” You scrunch your nose. “Thanks, though, seriously.”

“Hey, we’re friends, right?” Tim shrugs casually.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shake your head. “Coming in here enough over the years, I guess so.” You smile softly. “Seriously, thank you. And also, I’m serious, don’t tell anyone. We don’t normally like when people know our shit.”

“I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry.” Tim chuckles.

“Well, I’m gonna head back to the manor. Give him space like you said. I’ll be back probably tomorrow.” You laugh as you get up.

“Oh, well, I’ll be here.” Tim states with wide eyes. “They won’t let me leave.” He whispers.

“So, go to school.” You mock him as Tim groans.

“Yeah, alright, be safe.” Tim chuckles.

“Yeah, too. All those delivers and such.” You offer him a thumbs-up before you head out of the restaurant.

The night goes by and you don’t go on patrol. You want to be here when Jason gets home and being out with Bruce just seems like it’ll make you more annoyed tonight. It’s his fault today happened anyway. So, you stay home and listen to Tim, giving Jason some space for the night.

Jason texts you here and there saying he’s still fine because he’s not throwing in the towel. The later the night gets, the more texts come through from him. He’s calmer as the night goes on and his anger is fading away. He apologizes a few more times and he wonders how he’s ever going to come back from what he said to you and Molly. Neither of you deserve it. You were just worried about him.

At some point, Jason stopped receiving texts from you and figured that was his cue to head back home. It’s two in the morning and he has to guess you fell asleep. He thinks it’s safe to go home and get to bed. He won’t have to talk about it when he gets home. He can just try to get at least some sleep.

When he gets home, Bruce is still out on patrol. The manor is completely quiet and he goes right to your room, just to check on you before he heads to his own bed. But, when he looks into your room, the bed is still made and you aren’t there. His heart plummets because he thinks he really blew it. He’s so sure you left. Maybe you're staying with Molly. Maybe you're just waiting for him to calm down before you break it off entirely. You're done and it’s all his fault.

Maybe you were only texting him back so you wouldn’t feel guilty if he did something stupid. He’s not sure, but he really thinks he messed things up with you this time.

Jason feels tears brim his eyes as he shuts the door. His head hangs as the lump grows further into his throat as he walks to his room. He did what he always does, push until someone gives up. He really, in the pit of his stomach, didn’t think you ever would. And he doesn’t even blame you. He just feels guilty and hurt for everything in the first place. He just keeps fucking it all up.

When he reaches the door of his room, his arm is weak as it creaks open but his attention snaps to the TV that’s on. There isn’t anything playing, it’s just the screensaver but it’s on and there’s an automatic shut off which means he didn’t leave it on. He looks in the opposite direction towards his bed where you're sleeping.

Jason sucks in a breath of relief at the sight of you. You didn’t give up. You didn’t leave. You waited for him in his room because you knew he would be avoiding talking and probably you when he got back if you were awake. And his heart swells. He doesn’t deserve you. But, he walks closer to the bed anyway and strips to his boxers before crawling into bed with you and wrapping his arms around you. He presses a kiss to your shoulder.

You hum from in front of him, your back pressed against his chest. “Jay?” Your voice is groggy as you tiredly look over your shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jason whispers softly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’okay.” You smile softly, rolling around his arms to face him, your eyes barely open as you look up at him. The bruise from the day is hidden against the pillow and the low light of the bedroom. “Glad you’re home.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.” Jason states and you barely make out the guilt across his face.

“It’s okay, we’ll talk in the morning.” You snuggle against his chest. Truthfully, you're just glad he's home and he's safe. One bad day doesn't destroy everything you've built. “Not mad, just tired. Get some sleep, Jay. It’s just you and me.” You press a kiss to his chest, feeling Jason relax against you.

“I love you.” Jason mutters against the top of your head.

“I love you, too.” You smile softly against him.

Jason squeezes you softly against him and he doesn’t know why he’s still lucky to have you. His life is shit besides you and you pick him anyway. You should leave him and he knows you should. He was wrong for speaking to you that way and for pushing so damn hard. But you don’t. You're here anyway for reasons he’ll never understand. But he is immensely thankful you're still here. With him.

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#jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd x reader #red hood fanfiction #red hood fanfic #red hood x reader #jason todd series #titans fanfiction #titans fanfic #dc fanfiction #dc fanfic #petrichor

[mx-your-name]

More head canons of Singer!Reader x Yandere Steve Rogers! (+Peggy Carter)

TW: Mention of murder and death, technically kidnapping, yandere behavior, obsessive love, manipulation if you squint your eyes, getting blipped from existence

-Where Steve Rogers would do anything to make you happy and smile to brighten up your day! You’re craving something sweet, sour, spicy? It’s on the table for you, hot and free.

-But he always expects something in return for getting you something as simple as a hug or just a kiss on the cheek, forehead, or the lips.

-Would definitely makes you both a matching bracelet since you used to make them all the time when you were younger

-If you were to ever get hurt like the simplest paper cut, burnt mark, or even hit anybody part on something Steve’s gonna treat it like someone had just stabbed you or something. Even if you keep telling him you're okay, get ready to be on the couch doing absolutely nothing with blankets, pillows, some food on your lap, your favorite movie on, and Steve right by your side cuddling you. Asking if you're comfortable every 10 minutes to make yourself uncomfortable or need the bathroom.

-You being sick would be a whole different story. It’s a sore throat? You can’t talk or sing at all until you're better! It’s a slight cold? You need medicine, blankets, and soup. Do you need the bathroom? Don’t worry he’ll carry you there and back! You're worried about him getting sick as well? He’ll go through the same pain as you so you're not alone through all this.

-When it comes to meeting your family for the first time, Steve is getting ready 3 hours earlier making sure to practice his lines and have a great first impression on your parents. He doesn’t wanna risk them saying that he can’t date you. Not like he’ll listen either way You tell him that he doesn’t need to do all that, oh yes he does he needs your father’s approval on you getting married. He’ll bring your moms favorite flowers to impress both of them. You have siblings? Don’t worry he knows how to get kids to think he’s amazing! You have a sibling that’s a teenager and doesn’t liken him? It’s alright, he just needs to find out what they like and don’t like.

-The first time that he had heard about your ex’s he was a bit angry on why they’d treat you like the way they did. Oh you never talked about your ex’s to him? You must’ve let it slip out when drinking on movie night one time.

-Onto the mention of movie night. Every Friday night he’d come home and spend time with you, eating some dinner with you before heading over to the couch to watch some movies, not like you had much of a choice if you wanted to or not. Though you’d have to explain some movies to him sometimes since he still didn’t understand much about what had happened after he got iced for 70 years after all.

-He killed your ex one night when you sleeping, tired for cleaning all day and totally not the drugged drink

-What do you mean one of your ex-boyfriend’s bodies is on the news? He shouldn’t have stayed out so late, after all there are a lot of killers out there killing innocent people.

-You wanna outside? Why? You have everything you would ever want and need here with him

-He’s a trained super soldier so of course you knew that fighting against him wasn’t gonna do much for you. Did you still try too? Yeah.

Infinity War

-When it comes to the end of Infinity War Steve didn’t hesitate to go straight home to you to make sure you were alive and that you didn’t dust like the rest of half the population

-You were home just watching a movie when you felt something weird happen to your body. Your cat that Steve had gotten you for your birthday by your side. Lifting one hand up to pet for it to go through confused to see your cat - who was named Mittens - let out a meow. You were freaked out by that bowl of popcorn falling onto the ground as you tried picking Mittens up for her to completely vanish. Tears pouring down your fast as you panic on where your cat had gone, looking down at your hand to see it turning to dust just like your cat had done a minute ago. The tears falling on your lap as you dust away into the living room to where your cat had gone

-Steve slammed the door open looking around the room yelling your name. He felt panicked, he had lost Bucky to the snap and he couldn’t just lose you either just like that. When searching the whole house to not only find you but also Mittens, going to the living room to see the bowl of popcorn dumped onto the ground left there untouched.

-When you were dusted into the soul stone the only thing you saw was orange everything. An orange ground, orange sky, and orange everything. But one thing that wasn’t orange was yourself, looking around confused on what was going on

-Venturing through the giant open space, your pajamas still on since you didn’t really wanna change out of warm comfortable clothes, soon running into what seemed to be Mittens who was running over to you

-It'd be an understatement if you were told that you didn’t miss your cat Mittens, it felt like the only thing that made everything alright was your cat.

Endgame

-For the last 5 years that you were blipped he’d be going through a terrible time not only did he lose Bucky but he lost you. And when it was you it felt like he couldn’t at least save the person he so dearly loves more than anyone. Besides Peggy Carter of course.

-So when Tony had finally invented time travel so they could defeat Thanos and bring back half thr population that was dusted. Steve was over the moon happy that they were one step away from being everyone back. Bringing you back.

-Once the second they won the war and were back on Earth Steve didn’t hesitate to take off running back home where the two of you live. He made sure the house and everything in it was kept the same.

-One moment you were with Mittens the next you were both dusting away once again, holding tightly onto your cat not knowing what could happen to either of you after all this. The next you were back at your house, the bowl of popcorn gone but Mittens in your arms once again. As if everything was the simplest dream.

-When Steve came through the front door a bit different than equals you were taken back by how changed he was.

-Never have you hugged tightly or for a whole day. You sat on the couch the entire time, and when you had to go to the bathroom he’d wait outside immediately hugging you once again, also asking if you were okay. When you were hungry both of you were in the kitchen, Steve hugging you from behind not once leaving your side.

-Now when it came to Peggy, Steve would either choose Peggy to come along with him or he’d bring you back into the past but it mostly always ended with Steve bringing Peggy to the future.

-Peggy would be taken back at first and a bit heart broken but understanding. She’d also grow to love you as well just as much Steve loves you. Maybe even more than Steve a bit.

-Back to Steve, he’d make sure that you always came first - which Peggy agreed on - he lost you once for 5 whole years and he wasn’t willing to lose you again. So maybe say goodbye to ever stepping foot outside, not like you ever did before you vanished.

#singer reader #steve rogers x reader #yandere steve rogers #yandere steve rogers x reader #captain america #yandere marvel #marvel x reader #marvel #captain america x reader #x reader #Steve rogers x singer reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers

[shinjisdone]

So I've recently have been obsessed with the idea of an Yandere Self-aware video game character and how they'd mess with the game

Its mmmmmmmmm super specific but I've been thinking about Makoto Yuki from Persona 3 a lot ;.;

Like- uughhh imagine you've been playing the original P3, P3FES AND P3P like the FREAK THAT U ARE and Makoto knows you!! He remembers you. And now you're back again with Reload.

Spoilers for P3 and Makoto's character and arc but will be mentioning when spoilers end:

Makoto to me is like ✨perfect✨ because a character who canonically would not care about dying and being hurt but caring for others

And then realizing he is in a video game which gives him a sense of doom???

At the very end of each game, he is going to die. But at the end it also means nothing when you press New Game again.

He goes through his year in Iwatadoi and actually starts living and caring for others and himself. More for others since he is ready to peacefully sacrifice himself.

And then, it happens all over again. The same places, the same people, the same shadows and events and deaths.

You are the one causing all of this and he doesn't know what to think of it. He never really cared until he did but now nothing seems real? Should he care then?

Even if all these repeating steps still feel real to him and fulfill him? When he feels you guiding him to make the right choices, when he hears you being so immersed into the game?

It all means nothing in the end. But you keep coming back, the real thing. You bring him such fullfillness and bonds and even though it will all be severed, it will happen again.

He oddly looks forward to it. To living and dying.

So he looks forward to you.

END OF SPOILERS BUT GAME MECHANICS WILL BE MENTIONED:

Imagine Makoto just over time beginning to mess with the game either in favor to you or to build an connection with you too:

Makoto already knows what will happen. Story cutscenes will be done with quickly in a way that you won't notice. For him, it's just seperating the time he could spend with you.

Special characters such as Igor, Elizabeth and Pharos could have an hunch that something is off. The remaining cast would react a but differently when Makoto acts out-of-character but are ultimately coded to not care.

If certain items or personas are wanted by you, Makoto will rig the game to have those drop more often for you.

He cannot say many lines since he is not supposed to speak a lot. But small lines, like during battle, change slowly and seem to be more directed at you. Such things as "What shall we do?" and "I'll end this quickly, don't worry."

"I'm strong enough to take on the Reaper if thats what you want."

The UI will seem like it's staring right at you.

When in battle and you need a certain crit or whatever, Makoto will go on all out in his turn - especially when he hears you praising him ("Yo, go, Makoto! That's my boy!") It makes him melt.

Fuuka would then say something akin like, "Wow, our leader is on fire!"

This is another point that differntiates the others from you in his eyes.

You give him a name. He doesn't even know if it his real one but he feels so much more accepted than being called "leader" by the others.

They cannot THINK of an name. But you can.

Makoto will smile much more even at the beginning of the game. Characters will point out how odd it is but he will make sure to hide it quickly.

It's mostly noticable during idle animations but once he notices that you might be staring, he'll hide as if he were shy.

The many lyrical songs will have different meanings and words sung. Slowly you will note that this isn't Lotus Juice singing anymore but a completely, different and artificial one somewhat hiding behind the lyrics and whispering sweet nothings to you.

You may hear completely new songs that are bursting with love and romance (Color Your Night comes to mind)

Dialouge options also change more on how he REALLY feels. Knowing the best answer at a test (he'll give you a hint), dislike for an activity (but he'll do it for you), his real thoughts towards characters or jealousy when romancing someone.

("Riding out until the day I meet you,)

(I look up to the sky, asking lotta "Why?")

("I watch out for all surprises, what it provides us, ...n҉o҉t҉h҉i҉n҉g҉ u҉n҉t҉i҉e҉s҉ u҉s҉.҉"҉)

("You know you leave me in a trance, ͕͗i͕͕͗͗t͕͗ ͕͗m͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗a͕͕͗͗n͕͕͗͗s͕͗ ͕͗e͕͕͗͗v͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗r͕͕͗͗y͕͕͗͗t͕͕͗͗h͕͕͗͗i͕͕͗͗n͕͕͗͗g͕͗ ͕͗t͕͕͗͗o͕͗ ͕͗m͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗.͕͗") ("Always watching over me s҉o҉m҉e҉h҉o҉w҉, you make me feel invincible...")

Since you are a sane person, you of course dislike Kenji.

So when you have to drag yourself to his social links, Makoto will actually skip them while you can still obtain all perks. It's like you see Kenji's face as he suddenly looks shocked before the entire event is skipped. Makoto waits at the entrance patiently for you. He doesn't want you to suffer :(

In such intinces of romance however, Makoto cannot hold himself back. He usually goes with whatever you choose since he wants to make you happy but he has to draw a line when romancing characters/maxing out social links.

A part of him understands they are all game characters...but the more frequent you choose to romance, no matter in which game, the more anxious he becomes.

When you always choose one person, he wonders if they are your favorite and not him. The same when you choose others in other playthroughs and don't get me started in the harem routes.

And they are all females as well. Do you like girls? Only girls? How about him, can he have a place in your heart?

MAKOTO doesn't like Yukari, Fuuka, Aigis, MItsuru, Yuko or Chihiro...HE likes YOU.

So all of this 'dating' feels like lying to him. To himself and his feelings and especially to you...at first he can tolerate it all if it means it makes you happy dating these people.

But you shouldn't be liking anyone else anyway.

So after a while, he has had enough. Dating is done impossible in all the games now through a kind of 'glitch' or all social links will be immediately reversed. The moment you get a chance at an romatinc dialogue option, Makoto will promptly choose the thing that will ruin your chances - by letting out his TRUE thoughts.

"I know you dont like me, Yukari, so stop pretending." "I hate the way you are so clingy, Chihiro." "A robot can't care for people. Only real people outside of games can."

He will be at his most noticable then and might not hide himself from you anymore. He just wants to be with you and give him the feeling of being alive again and again and again.

#persona 3 #makoto yuki #persona 3 makoto #yandere #self aware yandere #yandere persona 3 #yandere makoto yuki #BRAINROT #rambling on and on #yandere character

[swanimagines]

Hey could you do some head canons of how Kaz would react to the reader getting hurt?

Warnings: blood, injuries

(I noticed while I was doing the finishing touches into this that one headcanon sounds very familiar and realised I was probably subconsciously inspired with the oneshot "Inflicted Desire" by my dear friend @/jexnrey, who deactivated a while ago and said she's never going to come back as Tumblr stressed her too much, so let this be a kind of tribute for her, she constantly told me she especially loves my Kaz stuff so if you ever see this Ani, I miss you but I wish nothing but good for you ❤️)

KAZ REACTING TO YOU GETTING HURT:

– If it's just a scratch or even a small wound and it isn't caused by anyone else, he isn't too bothered. He might look at it for a moment and then decide it's not anything too bad, minor injuries are an (almost) every day happening when you're a Dreg.

– Of course, if someone did it to you, he's pissed about it and sternly tells you to be more careful because he can't lose you.

– Or he doesn't say the last bit, but you can see it in his eyes as you're already in a relationship at that point.

– But if you're brought back to the Slat with a large wound, sputtering out blood or/and looking like you're about to pass out from pain, he doesn't take it as calmly, obviously.

– It's more like he freaks out and it shows in with how much he stresses for you.

– And if Kaz Brekker if overly stressed, you won't strike a friendly chat with him unless you want to risk receiving a broken hand.

– He's a walking thunderstorm and spares nobody from it.

– If you were any other Dreg, he would just ignore you and let you be tended by whoever takes up the task (as he knows his gang knows what to do in such situations), but with you, he's distracting Nina all the time by pacing back and forth, demanding her to heal you faster.

"Just do your job like you're supposed to, Zenik." -Kaz

"I'm trying, but you aren't making it easy, your heartbeat is too loud, I can barely hear Y/N's heart over it." -Nina

– He huffs at that, sitting on an armchair in the corner of the room and staring at your face. If he wouldn't see the blood, he'd think you're just sleeping.

– He tried to concentrate on your peaceful face to get his heartbeat down, knowing he can't appear weak in front of anyone.

– As soon as Nina manages to stabilize you, he goes to the office and starts the work to find out who did it.

– Inej heard a Black Tips member bragging about killing off one of the most skilled Dregs, saying you were incredibly stupid when you didn't hear him.

– Immediately when she turns his identity to Kaz, he orders that guy to be brought to him.

– Kaz makes sure all of Ketterdam hears his cries of mercy and, towards the end, pleads to kill him already.

– Kaz doesn't, of course - everyone has to know that nobody can touch what's his.

---

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#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #sab #sab x reader #sab imagine #headcanons #my works #gn reader

[beskarinhyperspace]

A Ripple In Space

Silly girl, I need you alive..

More Chapters | Masterlist

1. More Air 

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

wc.3.4k

You have been kidnaped and brought on the finalizer where you meet the famous Kylo Ren. The one who brought so much fear and destruction to the galaxy. Not being able to know the truth about your identity, he keeps you imprisoned on his ship.

[Kylo Ren x femReader]

*Canon Divergence, slow burn, softdom, hurt/comfort

**Kylo is supreme leader, Rey? we don't know her..

Tags; slow burn, fluff, eventual smut, angst, comfort, touch starved kylo, fools in love, shy/insecure kylo, he needs a hug, feelings, top kylo ren, reader insert, no y/n, female reader, pet names.

+ Italics are thoughts. +

The night was cold, like all the previous ones you've had since you embarked on the finalizer. It was by far, the biggest ship you've seen from all your years fighting against the first order. You just wish you could explore it, especially since you’re trapped in a cell right now. All this big and spacious spaceship and you're stuck in this shoebox. You were sitting on the bed with your back against the wall when you hear a voice coming from across the room. “Hey, get up..”  and you do, walking towards the door. Gawking at the sight of the two stormtroopers waiting for you. One of them unclips a pair of handcuffs off his tool belt. Which makes you roll your eyes to the sight of them. Sighing as you present your wrists so they can put it on you. Wondering where they were taking you this time. You never knew what leaving the cell had in store for you. Maybe today was finally the day you get to walk out free or worst, killed. As you begin to walk, your feet felt heavy navigating the corridors as you follow their fast pace. You didn’t get the chance of coming out of your cell very often, so you didn't really know what to expect on this ship. Especially since you've been here for months and nothing major has happened yet. It doesn't help that no one is giving you any information. Only getting the essentials. Food, water and a shower here and there. You see the soldier on your left pressing a button on his arm. Feeling a bit nervous arriving in front of a massive double door entrance, parting as you were approaching it. 

The room was echoing, windows were covering the walls almost in its entirety. You were able to see ships arriving and departing the docking station from the other side of the vessel. The room was dark and mostly empty. There was a sofa back to the wall near the door and a desk with only two seats in front of it. Walking closer to the desk, you see a tall man standing near it. Staring outside the window facing the view in front of him. 

The man was broad and intimidating. Everything he was wearing was black and made of leather except for his cape who seemed to be made of wool. As you are approaching, he turns around slowly. Immediately you noticing the mask covering the man's face. You try to swallow your nervousness, but it’s getting stuck in your throat. It’s him..  

“The one you asked for, sir.” one of the soldiers say. 

The stoic man simply nods to the troopers who are now walking away. Your hands were getting wetter as they left, leaving you alone in this grand, dark and empty room with him. He remained silent as he walks towards you. Looking at you up and down. You felt scared, but mostly uncomfortable by his awkward gaze. “Why am I here?” you finally ask, no longer able to keep the tension going. 

He tilts his head, “why do you think you’re here?” speaking through his modulator in a calm yet playful way.  

“I don’t know you tell me.” Slowly getting impatient. You were on edge by the lack of clues you're getting in this hell hole. 

He takes a hand, coming closer to your face and closed his eyes as he starts to focus. What is he doing? He's freaking you out. Suddenly you feel it tingling. A vibration trying to push itself into your mind. What is this? You hold as much as you can. Is he the one doing this? After a moment, realizing that he can't get inside your head. He looked surprised, almost shocked but he can't let you know that. “I know what you are and what you do. I know everything there is to know about you.” he claims firmly.  

Your eyes rounds up to his words. If he knows, you need to warn the others. So many lives could be at risk. You need to play dumb, say something.. “I think you have the wrong person here sir. I don't even know what you're after.” You reply trying really hard not to cough as you feel the anxiety coming back to your throat.  

In a quick movement, he throws his arm up, extending it in your direction. You begin to feel a weird sensation passing on your stomach before it slowly moves to your chest. The warm yet soft touch, crawls upward to envelop your throat. You can feel it tightened as you’re being dragged across the floor. Having no control over your body whatsoever before it brings you right in front of him. Floating mid-air, feet slightly above ground. The invisible force around your neck was preventing you from breathing. Feeling your chest compressing as you try to reach out for air. He holds his hand firmly in your direction before he starts to walk towards you. “Do you take me for a fool?” voice laced with anger. You couldn't place a single word even if you wanted to. Your face was becoming redder by the second from the lack of oxygen in your lungs. On another hand, the supreme leader seemed to be enjoying watching you suffer at his mercy. “You and your little friends won’t be the end of me. Mark my words, I will kill them, I will kill them all!” He yells out to you. His voice-corder cracking to the intensity of his outburst. You were still struggling to breathe. Panicking as you were trying to remove the invisible hand wrapped around your throat.  

Noticing that your breathing is slowly slowing down. He lets go of his grip as he's watching you fall to your hands and knees. No longer in the air, you were desperately searching for your breath. Feeling your throat dry and in pain, you cough a couple of times before speaking. “Sir, no one wants to come at you..”  

“What are you talking about?” He asks confused. 

You look at him from below, taking a deep breath before pulling yourself back up on your feet. “I’m saying that everybody is scared of you, why would anyone try to come directly at you..” saying to him as if it wasn't obvious. 

Which pissed him off more, “That’s not what my sources have told me. If you want to get out of here alive, I suggest you change your attitude.” Now moving closer to you. He gently pushes a fallen strand of hair framing your face, back. You can hear the static of his modulator as he whispers softly into your ear, “It would be such a shame to kill such a pretty girl, but I wouldn’t hesitate..” 

You felt incredibly small and powerless as you try to control your shaking body. Why do you suddenly feel so hot? It's not like you knew what he looked like underneath his mask. Maybe he was ugly, could you imagine feeling this kind of way about a super old crispy man. Chills were rising up your back. While you were anxiously trying to recenter yourself, all you could hear were his muted modulated chuckles. “That’s enough for today.” he says, pressing a button on his arm. The hissing sound of the door sliding open echoed in the room, seeing the same soldiers reappear. “Take the girl back.” He orders them cold and firm. 

As he’s about to turn around you can see him moving his fingers slowly. Feeling the same previous sensation going down on your stomach before it moves to the side of your hip and thigh. You don’t have time to process what is happening as you’re being quickly picked up from under both of your arms. Your feet didn’t touch ground once as you were dragged back into your cell. 

Being thrown inside of it, you see a plate of food waiting for you. Although upon seeing the supreme leader today, you were now more afraid than ever to eat it.  Scared it might've been poisoned but you didn’t care. You had too many emotions going on inside of you to have any kind of appetite right now. As you move directly towards the bed, you get under the covers before hiding yourself fully underneath. The complete silence of your prison cell was making you crazy. What do I do? What can I do? He might be wrong about a detail or two, but he knew you did something and that is still too much for him to know. You cry as you start to shiver a little. The room wasn’t even that cold anymore, but you couldn’t help it. Feeling completely drained by your day. You could’ve died today, and no one would’ve have known since no one knew where you were. All you could think about was your sister. Wondering if she was okay. You knew she was probably at home well and alive. Trying to convince yourself of that fact was doing very little to comfort you. You were way too overwhelmed to have any rational thoughts right now. The lack of human contact and basic needs were killing you inside. The last time you saw her was two, three months ago? You didn’t even know how long you’ve been here. Having no clear indication of time really played with your sanity at this point. The days were all starting to blend together but tonight thinking about her helped a little.  

__ 

Three days has gone by since you touched the food, they brought to you in daily. On a normal day, you just stayed in bed creating songs or searching for flaws inside the cell. There was a small window letting you see the outside, but the ship hasn’t really moved. Which gave you the same view for days now. You were talking to yourself aloud when you see a stormtrooper enter your cell. He tilts his helmets looking at you before walking around the tight space. Looking like a mad man as he searches out your bunk. Throwing the covers off your bed as well as the mattress. Shocked and in fear, you try to make yourself as small as you possibly can. Pushing yourself back into a tight corner. Trying to remain calm as he does his checkup, not wanting to interfere. “All clear.” you hear him speak simultaneously pressing a command on the side of his helmet. You watch him walk away relieved as you let out a blow of air. You don’t know what he was looking for but you’re for sure happy they didn’t find it here. That was the first time something like this ever happened since you're here. Useless to say that you were freaking the fuck out. After a moment of attempting to relax and calm yourself down. You thought that refusing food would've been harder. Dying by famine was probably not your best way out but you were content with it. You just wished you could see your sister one more time before leaving. On another hand you'll see your parents again which you miss painfully. You had less energy as time went by, so you tried to move as little as possible to conserve your energy. Lost in your thoughts, you jump as you hear the swooshing of your cell door sliding open again. Forcing you to straight up to the guard who doesn’t need to talk for you to understand as he shows you a pair of handcuffs in his hand.  

Once they were on, you start walking the corridors. Curiously looking at the other troopers roaming the ship. You recognize the path you were taking. It is the same one you previously used to see the Supreme Leader. Quickly recollecting what happened the last time you were in his office. His hand chocking you as you were floating in the fucking air. That’s it I’m going to die tonight.. 

Arriving in front of the grand double doors, the soldier's halts. The one on your right moves his hands closer to your arms, removing your restraints. Gesturing with his helmet to get inside. Are they not going to follow you inside? Now this is weird, you truly have no idea what to expect anymore. He probably regrets not killing you the last time he had the chance. Maybe he simply wants to talk to you. That's a possibility, right? Either way you were stressed. You didn’t want to find out, you didn't want to be here at all. If you were to die on this ship, you'd prefer it to be alone, safe and peacefully thinking about your loved ones. 

As you walk inside the darkly dimmed room, you slowly move cautiously. Hearing the supreme leader breathes as if he was near you. Although you can clearly see him from across the room. He was looking outside the window just like the last time you were here. 

“Why are you not eating?” voice cracking from the electronics of his voice-corder. 

You stay firm, trying not to show fear, “Is this what this is about? Why do you care if I live or..” 

He turns around sharply cutting you off, “Silly girl, I need you alive..” now raising his voice at you.  

You roll your eyes to him before he starts rushing towards you. Coming to you way closer than you would've liked. You prepare yourself to choke as you see his hand moving towards your face. Your blood becoming cold to the knowledge of your apparent death. Dropping a single tear along your cheek thinking about your sister, leaving her to be reunited with your parents. 

Instead, you see him bring his finger up to catch it. Talking low and soft in contrast to his previous outburst. “I’ve been trying to read your mind, but you’ve seemed to have closed yourself to the outside. Sadly, I don’t know if I was misinformed by my sources but until I find out, I need you to eat and keep your attitude in check. Surely you can manage to do that?" asking you as he pushes your hair off your shoulder. You don’t dare to speak, simply nodding as a confirmation. Maker how long will he keep you here? He takes his thumb to softly caress your bottom lip with the tip of his gloved fingers before quickly pulling his hand away, clenching it into a fist.   

You can hear the crinkling of the leather. As he’s about to turn away, you stop him, “Then why have you tried to kill me last time..”   

He stays still, puzzled by your question. “Why do you have a death wish?”  

You can hear the smile in his tone as you keep yours neutral. If you're trapped on this ship you need to find out why. Yes, he can't read your mind but why does he need to anyway? You can't possibly be this valuable to him. Maybe you can make him open up by pushing him a little. “I don’t, but I would’ve liked to see the face of my killer before I die..” 

He tenses up to your statement not knowing what to really think of it. “Is there a problem with my helmet pretty girl?” asking arrogantly. 

Did he just call you pretty? No stop that, you need to stay focus here. You lock your eyes to were you think his are through the helmet. “No, I just think that only cowards cover their faces. Especially when they kill..” 

You hear him breathing hot and heavy. Thinking that you've finally done it. He’s going to lose it and kill you on sight. Instead, he removes his helmet in a quick single motion. His eyes looked tired with bag under them, pained as he’s staring into yours intensely. You wondered what happened to him. His eyes were so soft yet so lost. Your face starts to relax as he remains silent. Giving you time to observe and analyze him like he did with you. His lips were twitching as if he was fighting to stay calm. When he sees yours slightly parting as if you’re about to speak, he begins walking straight to you. His cape moving stiffly behind him. Now being able to smell him from the proximity. You were probably too afraid last time to notice it. Smelling a clean scent mixed with leather and metal as he gets closer to you. 

“Are you satisfied?” he demands, his voice vibrating and shaking a little. Oh yeah, he's anxious.. 

You only nod to him in response. You had to admit, he was truly something. You were honestly stunned by his features. How can he be this beautiful? That can't be the supreme leader, right? He wasn't old like you did previously guess. No, you were wrong, he was actually cute. He seemed a bit older than you which you didn't really mind. He had long raven hair going almost to his shoulders. His curls looked soft even pushed back away from his face. He was large and tall, especially compared to you. Slowly leaning to your lips, you feel his breath tingling your jaw as you close your eyes. You don't know why but you're ready to let him do whatever he's about to do.  

“Good” he replies simply quickly pulling himself away. 

You open your eyes extremely confused. Did I do something wrong? 

“Come get the girl..” You hear him speak eagerly between breaths into his wrist.  

In a matter of seconds, you see the doors opening while he stays unmoved. Taking a moment to stare at you before putting his helmet back on, turning away to go back to his past position. You try to stop the soldiers from picking you up like last time, but they still do. You protest saying that you can walk by yourself and that they're hurting you but one of them reaches to his hip. Unclipping a glowing stick from his belt. All you can hear is the quick sound of electricity before letting out a cry of pain. The adrenaline caused by the high frequency voltage was debilitating. Making you fall automatically to the ground, moving your knees instinctively fast to your stomach. As the guard was about to strike you with another hit, you hear the static of a modulated voice. “What are you doing !?” He yells to the soldier. 

The man appeared lost, not knowing what he did wrong as he looks to his partner. The supreme leader extends his arm, throwing him into the wall before turning to look at the other. “Just bring her back..” He orders him, speaking through his teeth angrily. 

Back into your cell, you were lying on your bed trying to calm yourself down. You were still feeling dizzy from the attack. Although all you could think about was the supreme leader. He was leaving you with more questions than answers. He was hot, then cold.. He almost killed you, but then he needs you alive. He is violent but then talks to you softly. The way he looked at you, you could've sworn he wanted something from you or was it all in your head?  

What does he want? 

--

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#kylo ren #kyloren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren smut #kylo x reader #kylo fanfic #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren headcanons #kylo ren headcanon #kylo ren drabble #kylo ren fic #star wars fan fiction #star wars headcanon #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars smut #star wars drabble #star wars fanfic #kylo ren oneshot #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fan fiction #kylo ren x fem!reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren fluff #kylo ren angst

[kedreeva]

i saw your post about eddie running before you sent me that response and i've just been staring at the wall ever since. there's so many layers to this and it kills me, but the one i keep coming back to is the fact that, probably for the first time in his life, eddie had someone other than wayne trying to look out for him and protect him. and after thinking there was no hope for himself after what happened to chrissy, it was likely a huge relief to know he had people in his corner after all

*takes a deep breath*

Can you even IMAGINE

We do not know what happened to his parents (I vaguely recall his actor saying he had some headcanons, but we don't hear anything in canon), so we don't know if they're dead, if they abandoned him, if they were taken. We just know he's living with his uncle. Not even his parents have been in his corner, by force or choice.

You're right that Wayne's in his corner, but Wayne's got his own life. He cares, he loves Eddie, that's very clear, but he's working nights, which means he's sleeping during the day, there's a good chance that they just don't see each other very much, and

His band mates/D&D buddies? They don't seem overly concerned, and they give Eddie up almost immediately upon duress. And we never see them again, we don't see them looking for him, we aren't shown any shots of them being concerned. Our team never has to deal with them. Are they bandmates that play DND or are they friends?? They're certainly not friends like we're used to.

Given Eddie's flunked senior year twice already, the school system doesn't appear to be particularly on his side. The cops certainly won't be. The other students outside of Hellfire Club think he's a freak, the drug dealer, the failure. There's no one. There's no one capable of looking out for Eddie completely except himself, and god, doesn't that ring with the worst combo of words in the english language: "I'm used to it."

But even if he could handle himself on a normal day? Suddenly he's REALLY screwed, because a terrible, inexplicable thing happened in front of him, to him even, and there's no way anyone will ever believe him. He's on his own, he's alone, he's on the run with no idea how he's going to look out for himself and who else does he really have at that moment? Whatever house of cards Eddie's built to feel safe in, it's gone now. Things he cannot explain have blown it over and left his life in scattered pieces.

And... and then Dustin is there.

This ridiculous child Eddie had swept under his wing when he thought HE was the one taking care of DUSTIN... this kid shows up and he's not even ALONE, he's brought not one, not two, but THREE people with him, with the promise of more, and they're saying it's okay when nothing is okay, and the most ridiculous part of it all is that....... Eddie believes him. Eddie looks at Dustin, and Max, and Robin, at Steve's scared but determined face, and for the first time possibly in years he suddenly has a group of people willing to not just tolerate him, not just be friendly, but who are willing to throw down and be the "find out" for anyone that wants to fuck around with him.

can you even imagine the high of that relief? the shock of it?? the absolute gut punch of hope that maybe he can lean on someone? the mind boggling and dawning horror that not only would he walk into hell for these people in theory, he's going to do it in practice, because if they're not worth it, who is?

#stranger things #eddie munson #asks #that's not even to MENTION what happens when he tells them what happened #when they tell him you're wanted for murder but DON'T WORRY #it's only because monsters are real #and also Hell itself is trying to break down the door #in the immortal words of my friend #welcome to our terrible club #here's your walkie #you're family now #and we will defy the laws of god and man to defend you #like fuck me up #eddie runs because he has no one #and the hot second anyone turns and says we got you man #he's ready to stride into hell with his head high and eyes clear #sword and shield at the ready to defend the world #he needed love not death #god we haven't even gotten to the warmth of sacrifice for a world #that didn't care to protect him back #because the people he cared about were still in it #allie I'm just trying to live in peace over here

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hi, Lost. I recently saw a discussion about Ackermans and how Levi never mentioned to Mikasa the possibility of them being distantly relative. And it suggests that Levi doesn't actually reveal that he's an Ackerman to the others, at least, not to a lot of people. I always assumed Levi and Mikasa at least discussed this off-scene but anyway, we all know Levi definitely talked to Erwin about it. Knowing Erwin's curiosity and personality, there is no way he wasn't obsessed with the idea of a clan of, basically, titan slayers. He loves a good mystery and they would be too important for Survey Corps and Paradis in general. It's weird that this Ackerman thing was never explored other than "yeah Levi and Mikasa are OP don't question it" because I don't know about you but I would be so interested in freaking super soldiers living amongst us and I believe so was Erwin. We were robbed of that conversation, it'd give us so much Eruri material I believe :(

Hi Anon, sorry it’s taken me so long to answer your ask. You're definitely not the only one to be frustrated with the lack of information and resolution about the Ackermans. People waited years for Levi and Mikasa to have “the Ackertalk”, but when it finally came in chapter 63 it left everyone pretty disappointed. It did happen though, and Levi does suggest to Mikasa that they may be related.

There was a glimmer of hope that more would be revealed when the Ackermans were referred to as a “subproduct of Titan science” in chapter 93.  That really set the cat amongst the pigeons, but again, we got no further explanation about what that actually meant, either in the manga or in any of the supplementary materials. The only subsequent information we got about the Ackermans were Eren’s lies to Mikasa in chapter 112, where he claimed that Ackermans were slaves to their host, and Zeke revealing in chapter 130 that there’s nothing magical about the so-called Ackerbond, it’s just love. 

A lot of the additional information we have about the Ackermans comes from interviews with Isayama in the supplementary guidebooks, and it’s confusing at best and contradictory at worst.  For example, in chapter 65 Grandpa Ackerman tells Kenny that the king’s power to alter memories does not work on the Ackermans, and that this is one of the reasons they were feared and persecuted by the crown. However, later in the manga Eren was clearly able to alter Mikasa's memories, so that doesn’t add up. It's almost like Isayama was just making it up as he went along!

The lack of resolution around the Ackermans is just one of a number of threads that Isayama never tied up, which includes HIstoria’s arc and Mikasa’s relationship to the Azumabito clan.  It’s frustrating, because the Ackerman lore had so much potential, but none of it was ever developed, and at the end of the day they were a bit of a McGuffin. (Levi McGuffin doesn’t quite have the same ring to it though 😂)  Having said that, I can understand why Isayama shelved the Ackerman backstory, because it wasn’t really central to the plot. Also Levi, Mikasa and Kenny didn’t need any additional lore to make them really compelling and popular characters.  

If you're interested, I've got a post collating all the canon information about the Ackermans from the manga and the guidebooks: Ackermans Master Post.

With regards to how much Erwin knew about the Ackermans, there’s nothing in the manga, but I agree that once he discovered the connection between Levi and Kenny he would definitely have made it his business to find out more.  I wrote a tiny ficlet once about Erwin learning Levi’s name, it’s called Everything and Nothing

The words have been rattling around inside Erwin’s skull for days. Clattering against each other, discordant, disconcerting.

When they finally pass his lips one is familiar on his tongue, familiar as his own breath, the other foreign, sharp and bitter in his mouth.

“Levi.”

Levi’s head turns towards him on the pillow.

“What?”

“Ackerman.”

“Don’t.”

He turns away again.

“I always wondered…”

“I didn’t know.”

Erwin runs one finger lightly over Levi’s shoulder.

“I know, but it makes sense somehow.”

“Don’t.”

Levi is silent for a moment.

“It doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t change anything.”

Erwin looks down at the black hair feathering over the pillow beside him. The pulse flickering in his neck; blue blood below porcelain white skin.

Ackerman.

Erwin leans down and presses his lips to Levi’s throat, to the pulse.

“Levi,” he says again.

It changes everything. And nothing.

#asks #ackermans #ackerbond #erwin smith #levi ackerman #eruri #mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #zeke yeager #snk

[ml-nolan]

I'll Make You Sorry (9401 words) by The_KickIt_Domain Chapters: 4/5

Fandom: The Sandman (Comics), The Sandman (TV 2022) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling, Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling, Hob Gadling/Assorted OCs, Hob Gadling/Guenevere | Hob Gadling's Girlfriend Characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Hob Gadling, Guenevere | Hob Gadling's Girlfriend (The Sandman), Lucien | Lucienne (The Sandman), The Corinthian (Sandman), Gault (The Sandman), William Shakespeare, Jim | Peggy (The Sandman), Assorted OCs, Eleanor | Hob Gadling's Wife (The Sandman) Additional Tags: Post Fishbowl, Canon Universe, Dreams and Nightmares, Dark Comedy, References to Hob's past in the slave trade, Includes details from the comics, That are not flattering, References to events discussed in The Wake, (TKO has not happened), References to Hob's Leviathan, Hob has lots of hookups, Dream is sour about it, Smut, Dream Sex, Getting Together, Emotional Baggage, Communication, The Corinthian Thinks He's Helping, Unresolved Tension, Dream made some choices in 1889, canon-compliant minor character death, description of drowning, Brief depiction of Eleanor's death, Lucienne deserves a raise, Dream gets slut shamey, But just because he's jealous

Summary:

"Wait, so you're running off because you had a dream that I had a dirty beard?"

The man has his trousers on and is buckling his belt with shaking hands. "I'm just—it was so vivid and disgusting and I can never look at you again without seeing it. Sorry, um…"

Ah. The guy's forgotten his name. Fair enough—Hob can't really remember his either. Hell, he's so rattled that he can barely remember which name he's using himself at the moment.

Before he can think of something quippy, the man has yanked his shoes back on and is bolting for the front door. He's already halfway down the back staircase before Hob thinks to yell, "You're welcome for the multiple orgasms!" -- Things from Hob's past are making Hob's hookups run screaming into the night, and it's really freaking him out. Dream is very concerned (both that other people are dreaming Hob's dreams and that Hob takes so many lovers).

------------

From — Chapter 4: Bounce Like Glass Against a Flame

"Just dreams," Murphy says. The rage that shook him in 1889 seems more than ever like a toddler's hissy fit compared to this. "Without dreams, you would be less than dust. Humanity and all the realms beyond it, dreaming and waking, would implode. Nothing would remain."

Fear trembles in his belly, and yet Hob still bites back glib words. That would all have seemed so terribly cheesy if it weren't coming from the mouth of this eternal being that looks like he's about to supernova all over Hob's duvet. All Hob can do is raise his hands in surrender.

"Fuck, ok, I didn't know! Sorry! You're worse than me! Christ on a bike, are you happy now?"

Every part of Murphy relaxes, as if he's let go of an electric fence. His eyes become glossy and human again. Even his hair loses some of its stiffness and flops over into his eyes. He's gone from existentially horrifying to waifish in a fraction of a second. Hob's seen a lot of weird shit, but fuck if this isn't top three.

"No," Murphy says, and Hob has to clap a hand over the laugh that comes bubbling out his throat. "I am not happy."

"Yeah, me neither," Hob says. 

#dreamling #the sandman #hob gadling #dream x hob #dream of the endless

[missmonsters2]

The Colliding Tides of You | Part 2

Pairings: [AVENGERS x Bi!READER ]

- WandaNat x Reader

- Stucky x Reader

- Tony Stark x Reader

Summary: You hadn't known what happened. One moment, you were running for your life. The next moment, you were falling from the sky and your only hope was calling the one number you had to save you. You were in a universe where the Avengers existed and you had no idea what to do. You fight between doing what's right and what feels right. Do you return to your own universe or do you stay with the people you love? [Set after AoU and canon divergence after.]

Chapter Warnings: None.

Series Masterlist

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"Are you okay?" Steve asked politely with a touch of concern, but his eyes narrowed in mild suspicion.

"Yeah," you replied stiffly, but you didn't look at him. "It's just...stuffy in here, is all."

The room could fit at least fifteen more people comfortably, but none of them commented on it.

You briefly look up and catch Wanda's eyes. Your cheeks grow hot before you look away quickly. You wonder if she or Vision could read your mind right now. A flash of annoyance passes through you at the thought, but it passes quickly because there was nothing you could do about it.

"I had FRIDAY run your name, prints, and a facial scan. There was one match," Tony said, and you felt a wave of relief that the variant of you here existed. You felt bad that you may have taken over her body, but it at least meant you had your own resources. You looked expectantly to keep going when the silence stretched too long. But Tony just stared at you, a frown marring his face. 

"She's dead."

It was like the air in the room was sucked out, and you'd been punched in the gut.

All that relief came crashing into dread.

You felt stunned, but Tony just scowled at you.

"She died last week—hit by a car. So, explain how it is that you're here. Did you actually survive? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No. I don't know. I—" You started but stopped abruptly. What were you supposed to say? You didn't know how to explain this situation either. 

"I told you, I don't belong here," you whispered. 

"Right..." Tony drawled. "Another universe, that's what you said."

"Another universe?" Steve spoke up, and you could picture his brows were furrowed. You wouldn't know. You were still pointedly looking away from his face. 

"Is that even possible?" Natasha mused, but she didn't sound like she'd written your truth off. You thought about turning your head to look at her, but you couldn't.

"Why not?" Wanda jumped in. Her accent was thick and heavy, and there was a tiredness to her. "There are whole planets, galaxies, and universes out there we don't know about. Maybe she's jumped into ours."

"Why would she?" Tony asked but then looked at you. "Why would you?"

"I can't—" You frowned. "I don't know how I did it. I didn't even know I could."

"Start from the beginning," Natasha said gently, but you still didn't look her way. 

"I was...running."

"Running?" Steve caught onto your pause. "Running like a morning jog or running like..."

"I wasn't in a great situation before coming here," you say curtly. "I worked at a nightclub to pay off some debt. I got along with my coworkers and boss fine, but it's a shady place. I didn't have much of a choice if I wanted to pay the bills. One night, I was walking home after my shift, and something felt wrong. I heard footsteps behind me, but no one was there when I turned to look."

You were pinching the blanket while everything listened intently. "I was starting to get freaked out. I started to walk faster, and then I heard footsteps again, but this time when I turned around, people were chasing after me. They were shouting at me to stop, but I wouldn't because who the fuck would in that situation? And then I heard the gunshots and thought this was some kind of mugging. I threw my bag on the ground, but that didn't stop them."

You didn't dare to look up. What if no one believed you right now?

"I was running and running, but then everything turned white, and when I could see again, I was falling from the sky. My body was still mine; the clothes I had been wearing were mine. I even had my phone, but the only thing in it was Tony's number." You turned to see if you found your phone, but Tony interrupted.

"I have it, and I did a complete scan and breakdown of it." Tony tried to see if you were offended by the massive privacy violation, but you didn't react. It was like you understood his actions.

You stared at him. "So, did you find anything?"

Tony stared back at you for a long moment before he shook his head. 

"Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that my number had been programmed into your phone for a long time." He said the last part so slowly as if he was trying to get used to the idea that you might be telling the truth. 

You only nodded because you had no idea what to say to that. 

Tony eventually sighs, rubbing his face. "Well, obviously we're not going to find the answer tonight. Let's just call it a night and let you get some rest. You should be all better tomorrow morning. FRIDAY will monitor your vitals to make sure everything is okay."

You nodded. People murmured an awkward goodnight to you, but you only looked in their general direction with a small thanks.

Tony stayed until everyone left, and you relaxed your shoulders a bit. 

"Getting comfortable, are we?" Tony snorted as if it were a joke, but you merely stared at him until he looked back at you.

"You saved me," you murmured. "Even though you had no idea who was calling you or who I was, you came."

"Just hero things," Tony shrugged but looked hateful at the words. "If it had been anyone else, they'd do the same."

"Perhaps," you nodded. "But it was you. And Steve and Natasha can't fly. You've brought me here to get medical care as well. But I'm going to be honest and tell you I can't afford the medical bills. I have no money to speak of."

Tony actually cracked a smile at that and shook his head. "On the house. Billionaire things."

You smiled back at him. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."

"Call me Tony."

"Anthony?"

"Tony," he mocks glares at you.

"Tony," you nodded. 

You were tired, but you didn't want to fall asleep just yet, and Tony was just gazing at you curiously. 

You were staring at the ceiling, thinking of idle things that just add to your worry.

"What are you thinking about?" Tony asked, and you looked back to him before looking back up.

"I can't afford shampoo."

You hear a guffaw and look back to see Tony looking incredulous. 

"Seriously, after everything that's happened to you and the situation you're in now, that's what you're thinking about?"

You nodded. "A girl needs a quality shampoo and conditioner...okay, honestly a girl needs a lot of things. But I'm thinking I want to shower tomorrow morning and I can't even go out to buy shampoo."

You sighed, bringing your hand up to your face to rub at it tiredly.

"I have no citizenship docs, no ID, no cards, no bank, no money...how does one get that from a dead girl?"

"Relax, once we get this situation figured out, I can get those things for you no problem," Tony said nonchalantly but he couldn’t stop thinking about how off this was. For someone who was just an average girl in another universe, you were strangely calm about the situation you had found yourself in.

Tony didn’t bring it up, though. He didn’t feel or trust that you’d tell him the truth.

You gave him a half-quirked smile. "Thanks. I'll pay you back somehow." You go back to mulling over the things you'll need to do. "I need a job...a place...New York is so expensive..."

"You're just going to leave?" Tony exclaimed in shock.

You shrugged. "I don't want to burden everyone, and I don't want to be a science project either. I can figure it out...probably."

"No, no, no, no," Tony shook his head. "You can't leave here. There's no one else in this place you know, right? You're just gonna be out there alone? Do you not know how dangerous this universe is? Just tomorrow there could be another alien invasion or a robot attack or whatever's next in line to break our shit."

You looked mildly uncomfortable about being alone, but you're more worried about the accords coming up and being caught by the government as some kind of freak to study.

"Listen, I can protect you while you're here. I'm the richest man alive with a lot of power. If you don't want to become a science project, I get it. But Banner and I are your best bet on helping you figure this all out."

You pondered it over. You were reluctant to stay because staying meant inevitably changing what was supposed to happen and what if there were consequences to that? Something worse than what's already supposed to happen?

"I...I need money still."

"If you want to work because you like working, then we can find you a decent job. If you don't want to work, don't worry about money," Tony shrugged as if it were no big deal. But you just feel embarrassed about his insinuation.

You tried to joke it off instead. "What, am I going to be your sugar baby?" You laugh nervously. 

Tony looked shocked at your words, and he was about to deny it, but then he began to think.

Pepper had just left him. He was tired, and honestly? He was a little lonely too. You were pretty and funny. You had a sharp tongue, which Tony liked, but you knew how to be soft too. And most importantly, you knew him. Tony doesn't know how you know, which does miff him, but the point is that you do. 

It was a solution that would benefit everyone. He could keep a closer eye on you too.

"Yes," Tony finally said as he came to his conclusion. "Be my sugar baby."

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Tony made his way back up to the Avengers' kitchen, where he knew the rest of them would be. 

"Hey, fellow social pariahs," Tony greeted everyone as he went to grab an apple. 

"How is she?" Natasha asked.

"She'll be fine," Tony waved it off. "The oxygen deprivation was probably the worst. She'll be a little sore but she'll walk it off tomorrow."

"This is so bizarre," Clint shook his head. "We just beat a homicidal robot and now we're dealing with someone from another universe? We seriously can't catch a break. Laura's going to kill me."

"Relax bald eagle," Tony rolled his eyes. "She's not our enemy. She's just a scared and lost lady. Granted, I am a little suspicious but she clearly isn't a homicidal woman bent on our destruction."

"Wanda, what did you think of her? Vision, you too," Steve asked as he turned to the two. 

Wanda shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't pick up much. Just static thoughts here and there. She was weirdly concerned about being unable to buy things like shampoo or a brush."

Tony snorted but waved it off when people looked at him. 

"I didn't either," Vision frowned. "Perhaps because she's a being from another universe, we can't pick up much. The obvious things we need to find out is why was someone chasing her and if she can jump universes again."

"I think if she could, she would've by now. But then again, it might be too dangerous for her to return right now based on her story. We need to find out who was chasing her and if they can jump here too. We need to keep her safe."

"You seem awfully sure of her," Steve slightly narrowed his eyes at Tony. 

"Well, I am the person who has spent the most time with her thus far. Also, I have to defend my sugar baby."

"Your what?" Steve's brow furrowed, but Natasha sighed.

"Tony, you didn't," the redhead looked angry with him.

"I did," Tony rebutted. "And she agreed to it, albeit a little reluctantly but she did."

"Tony, you know nothing about her," Natasha shook her head. "I know you're taking the breakup with Pepper rough, but is this really a good idea? Even if she's not someone just trying to use you, she's vulnerable right now."

"A-bub-bub!" Tony held out his finger, clearly not wanting to hear more about it from Natasha. "I'm fine, and she's fine with it too. She's a grown woman and she's also the one who set the boundaries, so it's not what you're all thinking, alright?"

He tried to not smile as he recalled your look of shock and immediate refusal. 

There had been a talk about boundaries because you said you weren't going to sleep with him—which honestly did offend him a little, but Tony assured you that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to. 

"What? Am I that ugly?" Tony quirked his brow at you.

"It's not that," you shook your head. "You're objectively good-looking—"

"That somehow feels like an insult—"

"And you're funny even if sometimes unbearable and I know you can take care of me financially but I'm not just going to sleep with you. I don't even know you."

Tony was going to argue that you did, on some level, you did. 

"Listen, you need to relax. Who said I wanted to sleep with you, anyway? Maybe I just want your company. I'm alone too, you know."

"Pepper will come back," you muttered, and it only affirmed to Tony that you did know so much more. 

"Even if she does, I want your company right now. It doesn't have to be sexual," Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "You can work if you want to but just know that I'm not making your documents to make you some kind of stellar genius ready to be VP of any company. The best job you can get is probably retail or a barista—although these places are strangely asking for a lot of qualifications for minimum wage."

You grimaced at that, and Tony almost felt bad for pigeonholing you into agreeing to stay, but all he could think of was that you'd disappear. And Tony can't let anything else in his life disappear right now.

You sighed. Honestly, you can't even imagine working some grueling job right now with everything going on. But this was weird for you.

"If I want to work, you can't stop me," you warned him, and he nodded. He really didn't care if you worked as long as you stayed. 

"I also don't care about luxurious gifts or whatever it is. I just want to be able to get what I need."

Tony snorted. "You'll have your own card. I don't care what you spent it on. I might ask if you spend more than 10 grand a day but I'm not going to stop you."

You balked at the thought of spending 10 grand a day.

"I wouldn't even know how," you shook your head. "I just wouldn't."

Tony shrugged. 

"I want my own room."

"There's plenty in the compound or you can stay at my place, which also has a lot of rooms."

You didn't answer where you wanted to stay, mostly because you didn't know. 

"There are things I don't—can't talk about."

"Same here," Tony looked bored.

You sighed one more time before nodding.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Tony smiled. 

"Okay," you emphasized, feeling embarrassed. "Shut up. I'm not calling you daddy either."

"Bummer. I'm kind of into pet names."

Part 3

#natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #tony stark x reader #avengers x reader #wandanat x reader #stucky x reader #mm: my fics

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

Imagine Eddie being so overprotective that if anyone so much as looks at you he snaps

I just think it’d be so hot

HE WOULD DEFINITELY BE OVERPROTECTIVE AND POSSESSIVE IF ANYONE GOT TOO CLOSE THO EYE--

i think eddie is the type of man who would definitely protect who he loves to the absolute death. i mean, the man canonically died for a town that hated him, so imagine how he's gonna be with someone he loves? shit. he is going to be fierce as hell when it comes to you, and won't tolerate any sort of bullshit from anyone where you're concerned. he is ready & willing to fight, even though he's not really that type of person usually. for you, though? you better believe he would knock the shit out of someone, if it meant you were safe.

at school, he's giving death glares and putting a protective arm around you when other guys check you out. at the hideout, when you come to his shows, he makes sure you're close to him, so that you're not near the drunks or any of the other flirty band members. he's also making you stand close to the stage where he can see you when he's performing, just to make sure no one tries anything. when you have to be out alone, he makes you call him the second you find a payphone to let him know you're safe. he's always telling you that he won't tolerate anyone hitting on you or trying to get into your pants, and you always roll your eyes and laugh it off. but oh man, if someone actually flirts with you? fuck.

he would let you talk to other people, of course; he's not the type of guy who is like, "no, you can't talk to other men or have guy friends." he doesn't care. the only time he hates it and when it bothers him is when the men get a little too friendly. i could see eddie, ready with his fist to start smashing teeth if you get touched in a way that's less than friendly; he won't hesitate. so, what happens if someone gets too touchy with you or too flirty? well, it's not going to be pleasant.

let's say you're at school one day, and one of the popular guys is trying to talk to you. eddie comes down the hallway, and hides out of sight so that he can observe what's going on. the guy has you against your locker, trying to close all space between the two of you. you're clearly not comfortable with the exchange, and you're trying to get away, but the guy just won't take no for an answer. no other students are even acknowledging it, even though it's clearly an uncomfortable interaction, and eddie's blood just boils. he doesn't want to get in trouble or get kicked out of school, further ruining his chances to make his third attempt at graduation the charm, but goddammit, he doesn't like this. at all.

his legs are carrying him over to you before he even knows what's happening. he grabs the guy by the jacket, not thinking at all, only seeing absolute red. he throws him back before getting in front of you, protecting you behind him with furious eyes at the other guy. you hug eddie from behind, so relieved to see him, and you can feel him melting under your touch. he's still angry, though, and doesn't take his eyes off of the asshole who was now just as mad as eddie.

"meet me after school, freak," the guy says to eddie.

"gladly," eddie says with a bow, smirking wickedly. "i'm going to show you how to fucking respect someone's boundaries and take no for an answer."

the guy says nothing else, and just walks away. eddie turns to face you, cupping your face before kissing your forehead. "are you alright, y/n?"

"i'm fine," you say, hugging him tightly. "i'm more worried for you. why did you say you were gonna meet him after school?"

"oh, i don't plan on going," eddie says with a laugh, drawing back to wink at you. "i don't think he does, either. did you see him? he's the definition of a little fucking pussy. he wasn't going to do shit."

"but--" you begin, and he shushes you gently.

"you're okay, and that's all i care about," he says. "i don't care about anything else but that."

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x reader #stranger things blurb #stranger things imagine