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wwbtsdty · 1 year

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Set My Soul On Fire [6] | 18+

Summary: The chances of meeting your soul flame were almost one in a eight billion, the only way of knowing you were a match? You had to happen to be in close proximity of each other, so how were you ever to find your one true flame when they possibly lived halfway around the globe. When you find out you matched with not one but four members from the biggest boy band in the world, you weren’t sure if you were incredibly lucky or headed for devastating heartbreak, but you were willing to find out.

Rating: 18+

Genre: idol!au, smut, angst, fluff

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader

Status: Ongoing

Word Count: 6.2K

Warnings: dom!jungkook, dom!jimin, dom!taehyung, dom!namjoon, sub!reader, consent, smut, possessiveness, polyamory, anxiety, insecurities, jealousy, sexual tension, dirty talk, explicit language, kissing, grinding, marking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, fingering, oral(f. receiving), Jimin has a long ass tongue, Jimin has a hugeeeee praise kink, mentions of multiple members and voyerism.

Author’s Note: Oh my godddd its happening, whats the procedure, whats the procedure!! (Points if you know what that’s from!) I think it’s been long enough, time for some smutty smut smut!

This is all fictional.

It was about another hours drive to the house and Jimin had insisted on holding your hand the entire way, regardless of your concerns about him driving one handed. So now his fingers threaded with yours, resting on the center console as you tried your best to distract yourself from the way his thumb swept tenderly across the top of your hand.

Intrusive thoughts kept finding their way into your mind, like just how amazing those pillowy lips had felt against yours. They had been everything you’d imagined and then some. Just how would those lips would feel kissing their way down my body.

Your mind was running rampant with salacious daydreams, no doubt driving Jimin crazy at this point. But you couldn’t help it, after that kiss and his comment about not holding back, all your thoughts were filled with Jimin.

Jimin whose gaze could pierce your very soul and set your whole body on fire.

Jimin whose lithe body moved so gracefully across the stage driving every person crazy in the crowd.

Jimin who loved to tease millions of army with that sinful tongue and sensual body roll on stage.

“Fuck. Please stop Y/N, I only have so much control. I’m barely resisting pulling this car over and fucking you until you can’t walk as it is.” He growled like some wild animal causing your breath to hitch, his fingers tightening painfully on the steering wheel as he fought against the onslaught of images.

She was seriously trying to kill him.

Your body heated at his comment, suddenly at war with your own thoughts as you couldn’t decide if that was what you secretly wanted. You could however feel the tension between the both of you growing with each passing second. The heat building between your thighs causing you squeeze them together trying to relieve some of the pressure.

“Do you want me to pull over?” He smirked, tongue snaking out along the seam of his lips as he bit down on his lower lip. He yanked your joined hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to your knuckles, catching your gaze as he flipped your hands over to kiss your inner wrist.

“Jimin!” You gasped, jerking your hand from his grasp as you tried to distance yourself from that sinful mouth as much as possible from within the small confines of the car.

Just as you both were about at your limit the house came into view, a relived groan escaping him as he pulled in behind the others who were already unloading their car.

“Finally..” he sighed turning off the car, Taehyung all smiles already bounding over to the car to pound on his window.

“Where the hell were you guys!? We thought maybe you had broken down on the side of the road... or something.” Jimin grimaced at the humor lacing his voice, of course they knew what had happened to a degree, Tae just insisted on torturing Jimin whenever given the chance.

“Nope, we’re fine as you can clearly see.” Jimin replied, shoving Taehyung playfully. Taehyung was just relived to see his soul mates sour mood having finally lifted, everyone was tried of walking on eggshells around him. Jungkook had been the ringleader behind putting them in close confines together to hash out their differences.

You had quickly snuck out of the car while Jimin was distracted with Taehyung, making your way towards the others. Just as you approached the other car a massive doberman appeared, rounding the corner with Jungkook in tow. He tackled you to the ground proceededing to happily lick you to death. You laughed, doing your best to fend off the slobber monster.

“BAM! No! Bad Bam! that's not how we greet Y/N!” He laughed dragging him off of you, bam took off running to find his next victim, Jimin, who immediately fawned over him in an adorable baby voice.

“Ohh Bammm, look at you! You got so big! Ohh who’s a good boy!”

Jungkook picked you up from the ground as if you weighed nothing, trying in vain to wipe at the muddy paw prints scattered across your shirt, “Sorry about that, he’s still a baby. I asked our manager to steal him away from training camp for a while so you could meet him, guess he still needs some work.” Jungkook explained, that adorable bunny smile making your heart skip a beat.

You watched the so-called ‘puppy’ bounce between the members happily, moving from one person to the next to receive attention. Taehyung took off in a sprint causing Bam to give chase, tackling him to the ground once he inevitably caught him, they rolled around like little kids in the grass.

“He’s so cute, hard to believe he's a puppy though!” Man that was going to be one big dog when it was full grown, he was surely as big as you and he was still a puppy. They always said you could tell how big a dog would be based on its paw size, well those damn paws were huge. Like father like son I suppose, you weren’t sure if the muscle bunny was ever going to stop growing either. You subtly eyed his chest as he stood beside you watching Bam with an adorable look on his face. Surely he as flexing or sticking out his chest on purpose?

“He’s not that big. Maybe you’re just small..” He dropped an arm around your shoulder pinching your cheek playfully. You stuck your tongue out in response to the comment, “The best things come in small packages!” Jungkook’s eyes widened as he processed that phrase, he held his tongue before he made a comment in return. Best things indeed…

“Alright, let’s figure out who’s staying where! Y/N since you’re the guest of honor you can choose your room first. Both of those houses are where the rooms are located, so go ahead and pick one and we’ll bring your luggage.” Namjoon motioned towards the two houses.

You grabbed at your suitcase, “I can take it up to my room, it’s not a big deal. I think there’s enough to unpack without making one of you follow me around with my luggage.” Never one to inconvenience anyone, you made a move to head towards the houses only for Jungkook to block your path. He had his arms crossed over his chest as he glanced down at the suitcase and then back to your face. Snatching the bag before you could even form a protest, he simply hefted it up and over his shoulder without a single word.

Everyone behind you was laughing as they watched you stand there mouth agape as Jungkook headed up the hill, luggage in tow. “I don’t think you’re going to get away with saying no to JK.” Taehyung smiled at the youngest antics.

“Okay okay, fine! I surrender to your sexist need to carry my luggage!” You threw your hands in the air exasperated, running to catch up to Jungkook and his long ass legs.

“It’s not sexist, it’s just good manners. Do men in America not have manners anymore or something?” Jungkook frowned, studying you curiously as he came to a stop.

You’d never really thought about that before, but when had men stopped being polite to women in your eyes. Between the men only trying to get in your pants and the men who always let you down, you had somehow lost faith in men. Your mom always blamed it in feminism, saying we forced men to become these weak creatures who weren’t real men anymore.

“I… don’t know honestly, I guess I haven’t had very many good examples of men in my life,” You tried to remember the last time a man you had dated held open a door for you, or offered to carry something heavy. Maybe on the first date? Definitely not once you’d slept together.

Jungkook frowned at the thoughts crossing your head, determined now more than ever to change your view on men, well at least his memebers. He vowed to do everything possible to spoil you now that they had found you, and hopefully you would have you by their sides forever.

Everyone settled into their rooms and was unloading their luggage, you had chosen a room on the second floor with a great view of the entire property. You could hear Bam bouncing around in the room below you. You may or may not have chosen this room because you hoped just maybe you could coax him into sleeping with you, you missed your own animals back home.

Jimin had taken great pleasure in knowing you were sleeping in the same room he had chosen during the filming of the show. Which of course he had made a comment about, how you were sleeping in the same bed as him.

You slammed the door in his face before he could see the furious blush on your face. You knew he was the king of flirting, you were just somehow never prepared when that flirting was directed at you.

You fell back onto the bed with a sigh, lifting your phone above your head as you eyed the zero bars. Of course you would have no service way out in the middle of nowhere like this, you weren’t sure why you expected anything differently.

You really needed to get a new phone soon, you had brought yours from America in hopes of using it at least until you were able to get something here. In the meantime you had to refrain from calling and texting as much as possible, not wanting to drive your cell phone bill up with international fees.

Surely this place had WiFi? You could connect to the internet and then at least your phone wouldn’t be completely worthless. You could at least still receive calls and texts, if not send them out as often. You quickly sent a text off to Jungkook asking what the WiFi was.

Jungkook suddenly appeared in your peripheral scaring the shit out of you. How had he gotten up the stairs so damn quickly without you hearing him, “Jungkook! Shit! Make a noise or something would ya, scared me to death!” You squealed, sitting up on your bed as he shot you a disarming smile. “You need to wear a bell…”

“Sorry, I thought I’d just bring the wifi information upstairs.” He scratched at the back of his head sheepishly, showing you the slip of paper with the name and password on it.

“Thank you,” You took the paper flashing him a smile in thanks. Jungkook collapsed in a chair in the corner, rubbing Bams head affectionally who had followed him. Suddenly a string of chimes rang out from your phone, your eyes widening as you stared at the screen in silence.

“Whoa, someone’s really been trying to get ahold of you!” He stood to make his way over, curious to see just who was blowing up your phone.

You panicked, cradling the phone to your chest to hide the messages, “Yah, Its just--uh Mel... probably wondering why I wasn’t responding, she’s never been very patient. I should probably answer her!” You flinched at the strain lacing your voice, hoping that you didn’t come off as nervous as you suddenly felt; fear coursing through your body.

Jungkook froze in his steps eyeing you quizzically, “Oh.. yah. I’m sure she’s worried about you.” He studied you a moment longer, not liking how pale your face had become. He didn’t want to overreact though, maybe it was something embarrassing you hadn’t wanted him to see? “I guess I’ll leave you to it?” He moved to leave, hesitating only a moment as he eyed you over his shoulder scanning your phone with a odd look on your face.

“I’ll be down soon.” You forced a smile on your face as he left, locking the door after him. Collapsing on the bed you read through the messages that flooded your screen.

Die bitch!!

How dare you come to Korea! Stay away from BTS!

They would never like an ugly bitch like you!

The messages just got worse the further down your screen you read as you fought back the tears swimming in your eyes. You knew things would get messy when you got involved with BTS, you knew the risk you were taking from the moment you found out they were your Soul Flames. You told yourself this over and over again, tried to remind yourself before you left for Korea what you were potentially walking into. But to this extent? When all they knew is you were in Seoul? You can’t even imagine what would happen when they found out your involvement with BTS.

After you had finally deleted the last of the disgusting messages from your phone you tossed it aside.

They were just idle threats from crazy fans, right?

Nothing was going to happen as long as you were under their protection. You’d heard many times of fans getting ahold of members numbers, so this was something you should have come to expect I guess. Good thing you were going to be getting a new phone here soon, a new number and a new start.

Taehyung had been the one to finally drag you from your room; you had succumbed to sleep once you’d settled in your room, since you’d left so early in the morning and you were not a morning person.

Now that you were sufficiently stuffed from the meal the boys prepared, the boys being Jungkook, Jimin and Tae of course. Namjoon was banned from the kitchen for obvious reasons. You watched fondly as Tae and Jungkook sang along to some unfamiliar song on the karaoke machine. Namjoon was absent, having secluded himself upstairs in the library to get some peaceful reading in. Not that it was very peaceful with Jungkook and Taehyung belting out at the top of their lungs, but he was probably so used to it by now.

Jimin had chosen to sit unbearably close to you, regardless of all the open seats available. You tried your best to ignore the way his thigh was pressed up against yours, instead focusing on the boys antics as they tried to one up each other.

The weight of Jimins head hitting your lap startled you. He whined playfully, making grabby hands in your direction. “W-What?” you stammered nervously, unsure exactly what he was up to now. It always amazed you how he could drive women crazy one second with his sexual persona and then turn them into simpering babies the next with his mischievous ways.

“Rub my head... please?” He replied brazenly, biting his lower lip in that signature look as his gaze zeroed in your movements as he felt you squirm under his scrutiny.

“Stop looking at me like that!” You whispered vehemently, tugging on his locks in retaliation.

“Like what? I’m not doing anything...” He flashed you a bright smile, his eyes almost disappearing into two little crescent shapes. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. Even if he hadn’t been able to feel your arousal, the flush to your cheeks was evident enough.

You quickly brought your attention back to the boys singing, your fingers nervously lacing through his fluffy hair. It was just as unbelievably soft as you had dreamt, you could run your fingers through it all day... your own personal stress reliever. No wonder he was always playing with his hair, you would too if this was how yours felt. All at once you could picture your hands, pulling on those locks as he thrust deeply--

You stood abruptly, depositing Jimin on the floor. To which he let out a huff of breathe to show his annoyance, rolling his eyes before moving to sit back on the couch. There was only so many times he was going to let you brush him off and he was quickly approaching his threshold, he didn’t have much patience to begin with when he decided he wanted something.

Taehyung grabbed your hands pulling you flush against his body as a soft melody started playing from the karaoke machine.

“Dance with me!” He spun you around gently, a boxy smile plastered on his face as you clumsily tried to keep up with his dizzying dance steps. You both giggled like little children as you let him lead you about the living room.

Just when you were starting to get dizzy from all the spinning Jungkook pulled you from Tae’s arms, positioning you in front of the tv screen. His body enveloping you from behind, molding your back to his front. His sweet voice tickled your ears as he sang for you, causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. All the attention from these boys was starting to get to you as you felt your body heat up in a pleasant way.

All the while Jimin watched you from his seat on the couch, where he had climbed back up after being so swiftly tossed on the floor. A pout marring his face as he narrowed his eyes at the younger pair having ruined his moment with you. He willed you to look back at him so he could convey his displeasure but your eyes stayed glued to the screen as he watched you turn best red under Jungkooks spell.

You swallowed nervously, feeling the heat prickle your skin as you tried not to focus on the way Jungkooks fingers trailed teasingly up and down your arm as he sang. He probably wasn’t even aware he was doing it, you thought. You gasped as he nipped at your lobe playfully, breaking free from his arms.

“I’m gonna get some air!” You declared, making your way outside as fast as humanly possible as you willed your heart to stop racing.

You sat outside at the pools edge, dangling your feet in the cool water below. Though it was obviously even hotter outside, this kind of heat didn’t bother you nearly as much as the heat that radiated through your body when you were in close proximity of your soul flames.

A stream of cold water hit the back of your head making you jump, turning to find the source. There stood Jimin armed with a water gun, a playful smirk gracing his face. He took off in a fit of giggles as you gave chase, jumping away from the pool and grabbing the nearest gun. “Jimin! You’re gonna pay for that!”

You chased Jimin across the expansive yard, getting some choice shots in here and there, one particularly good one landing right on that deliciously taunt behind of his. But he was soon out of reach of your gun, years of dance giving him an advantage as he rounded the basketball court. You hatched a devious plan in your head, stopping alongside the court as you laid down pretending like you fell, “Ouch!!” You shouted, reaching for your foot as you lay wounded on the ground.

Jimin immediately froze, running back to you in concern, “What happened?! Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” He reached for your ‘injured’ foot just as you took aim and shot him square in the face in retaliation. He stared aghast as you stood up to show him you were totally fine, a cocky grin on your face, “Gotcha!” You laughed, dancing around him in a victory dance.

You suddenly found yourself pressed back to the hard ground, your gun wrenched from your hand and flung across the grass. Jimins body covered yours, the plastic barrel of his water gun pressed to your head. “Clever girl… too bad you let your guard down too soon. Surrender!”

You held your hands up, “I give! I give! You win Jimin!” He smiled triumphantly, his gaze wandering down to your lips before moving back to your eyes. “What do I win? Hmm?” He quietly trailed the gun from your temple across your lips and down your neck, tapping it against your chest in playful manor.

“The pleasure of me not murdering you for ruining my quiet moment by the pool?” You mused, ignoring the not so subtle way he was eyeing your mouth.

He hummed in contemplation, his free hand sliding to the small of your back pulling you ever closer until your bodies were pressed against each other intimately, his knee wedged between your legs to keep them apart. “Well that's not a very good prize, try again.”

You could barely form a logical thought at that point, his breathe fanning against your lips driving you crazy as you laid frozen beneath his perusal. Your traitorous body responded for you as your back arched pressing ever closer to his warmth. “Jimin..” you whispered, fingers splayed across his chest as you felt yourself fall under the spell of his seductive gaze.

“Yes baby?” He cocked his head fondly, fingers digging into your hips as he held himself back, waiting patiently.

You swallowed nervously, chewing on your lower lip as you remembered the way his lips had felt against yours, your mind and body at war with each other. “What do you want?”

He smiled at your sudden shyness, “A kiss?” He replied, his gun abandoned as he swept his thumb along your lower lip awaiting your reply. You didn’t even realize the power you held over them already, one word from you and he would go to the ends of the earth, do anything you wished.

“I guess that's okay...” you smiled, trying to hide your nervousness. This was different from your previous kiss, you hadn’t known what was coming when he kissed you the first time. Now laying here waiting for him to kiss you was pure torture. Time ticked by, seconds feeling like hours as you followed the movement of his tongue across his lips, wetting your own in anticipation, “Jimi--”

His lips crushed yours in a desperate kiss, insistently prying your mouth open so he could taste you. His palms cradled your face as he angled your face to his liking, nipping playfully at your bottom lip.

“Jimin” You whispered against his lips, his name barely auditable amongst your shared breathe as you pushed against his chest to get his attention. Both of you staring wordlessly at each other while you caught your breathe.

“I’m scared..” The words finally spilled out, “The bond, I’m just not ready yet… I need more time.” You tried to explain to lighten the hurt you saw reflected on his face. “I really like all of you… so much… I’m just not ready for the bond yet. I need more time, I think mayb—“

Jimin pressed a finger to your lips silencing your protests, “Its okay, I understand. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do, so lets just take it slow, alright?” He smiled, lips ghosting over yours as he leant down to press a lingering kiss to your lips once more.

“Can I have a small taste?” He whispered, running his tongue along the seam of your lips before leaning back to shoot you a sinful smirk. “I won’t go any further than that, please…” He leant back to gauge your reaction, taking note of your heated face with a pleased smile. “Y/N? Baby… you need to answer me.” His voice held a note of teasing.

Staring up into Jimin’s handsome face you were suddenly extremely nervous. You weren’t sure if you could ever live up to any expectations he might have. He was a world famous celebrity, you were just some regular old girl from America. Surely he had been with all kinds of beautiful models and celebrities... you could never live up to that. What if he took one look at you and decided he didn’t want to be your Soul Flame anymore, decided you weren’t worth it after all.

Jimin abruptly pulled you from your thoughts, pinning your hands up above your head. His eyes narrowed as he spoke, “Y/N, stop it. None of us would ever! You are absolutely beautiful, and I’m proud your my Soul Flame. Let me show you, how much I absolutely adore every inch of you.. let me love you.” His face softened as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, releasing your hands to cradle your face in his as he peppered your face with kisses playfully.

You giggled trying to turn away as he nipped at your nose, “Okay! Okay! Promise you won’t be disappointed? I’m not exactly that experienced..” You thought back to your previous boyfriends, they’d usually been so caught up in finishing themselves they never really cared about your pleasure. The few times they had gone down on you it just felt, awkward and messy... you never understood how women could get pleasure from such a thing.

He threw his head back in laughter, “Baby... you don’t have to worry about that.” He then swept you up into his arms, intent on carrying you to the house.

“Where are we going?” You exclaimed, clinging to him afraid he might drop you at any moment.Your brain had a hard time processing such a slender body as Jimin’s was able to carry you so easily.

“Unless you feel like putting on a show for the rest of the guys… I’m taking us to your room.” He sauntered cockily into the house, taking two steps at a time until he finally made it to your bedroom. “I mean, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, but I thought that might be a too much too soon for you baby girl.” He chuckled, dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.

You clutched the sheets below, your mind raced at the idea of the other members being present. You body betrayed you, instantly heating at the thought as you could feel your panties becoming wet at the sheer idea. How would they react to seeing you and Jimin together?

“Hmmm… you don’t seem opposed to the idea.” His smile grew as he felt your thoughts, “Noted.”

“What, I didn’t—… no, I wasn’t thinking of—… Jimin!” You sputtered, trying to regain some control over your thoughts. “Dammit, this really isn’t fair! Stop listening to my thoughts.” You pouted, sitting upright on the bed to show your annoyance at him constantly intruding.

He held his hands up in surrender, “Hey I can’t help it! You are more than welcome to read my thoughts anytime you want… once you bond with me that is.” He countered, knowing full well you weren’t ready so there was nothing you could do.

“For now, just think of me... and only me.” His sinful voice warmed your body as he climbed on the bed atop of you, forcing you further up until your head hit the headboard. His lips met yours passionately, letting the weight of his body press you into the mattress below.

Suddenly all your thoughts were indeed focused on Jimin, lacing your fingers through his hair to keep his mouth against yours. He ravaged your mouth exquisitely, controlling the kiss with a kind of ease only someone as skilled as him you imagined could. You wouldn’t mind kissing him for the rest of your life, this is it, you thought, you could die right now, right here and be totally happy. Just wrapped up in Jimin’s arms as he kissed you into oblivion.

His hands moved down your sides, skimming over your stomach and down to grab your ass as he ground himself into you so you could feel the large bulge he already sported, leaving no doubt as to how he felt in that moment.

You let out a quiet moan against his mouth without meaning to, he quickly responded with one of his own as he left the sweetness of your mouth to trail soft kisses along your neck. He stopped, the sudden urge to mark you for everyone to see overtaking him. He licked at a strip of skin beneath your ear, biting down swiftly before taking the skin into his mouth and sucking gently.

You jumped at the sudden sensation, fingers digging into his scalp as you felt a tingle shoot straight to your core causing your nipples to pebble. As fast it came it was gone though as he pulled back to observe his artwork with a pleased smile, “Mine.” He growled, touching the blotch of purple marring your skin.

He moved down your body then, hiking up your shirt to kiss every inch of skin displayed. You found yourself squirming beneath his touch, every press of his lips driving your crazy. It felt like your whole body was on fire, but something was still missing. “Jiminie...” You whined, unsure of what you were trying to voice but hoping he would be able to sate this fire he started.

“Shh.. I’ll take care of you.” He whispered against your stomach, reaching up to undo your shorts as he slowly peeled them down your legs and out of the way.

He bit his lip at the sight of the large wet spot forming on your underwear, cursing under his breathe as he cupped your heat. “So wet for me already? I’ve barely touched you.”

You covered your face in embarrassment, barely resisting the urge to ground yourself against his hand. Jimin had the ability to make you wet simply by staring at you, it was no wonder you were already so wet with the attention he was giving you. You were pretty sure you’ve been in a permanent state of arousal since your car ride here.

He chuckled, reaching up to pull your hands away from your face, “No hiding. I want to see your face when I taste you...” He ever so slowly began peeling your underwear down your legs, groaning at the sight of your arousal sticking to the fabric. “Shit, baby... your killing me. I wanna go slow, I really do but...” He trailed his middle finger down your slit collecting your arousal, “Your so fucking wet.”

He used your slick to rub circles on your clit, eliciting a moan from your lips as you arched against his ministrations. You’d never felt so turned on before, with just a single touch he was already driving you crazy and you couldn’t explain it.

“Does that feel good baby?” He craved your praise, needed to hear it from your lips. “Tell me how you feel...” He whispered, leaning down to take your clit into his mouth he began sucking lightly as his hands gripped your thighs to pry your legs further apart for him to lay between them.

You moaned loudly, “Jimin! Oh my god.. that feels amazing! Don’t stop!” You couldn’t believe the words escaping your mouth, you had never been one for dirty talk and yet here you were, egging him on.

Suddenly he was attacking you with gusto at your praise, his tongue sliding between your folds thrusting into your aching core. His fingers digging into your flesh as he lapped at your arousal letting none go to waste, he groaned his approval the vibrations sending another jolt of pleasure through your body.

You suddenly felt a pressure build up in your stomach unlike anything you’d experienced before, your whole body tensing up as you fought whatever was happening.

Jimin’s hand moved from your thigh to your hand, fingers weaving through yours comfortingly. “Don’t fight it baby, just let it happen.” He gave one last lingering lick to your center before sucking your clit back into his mouth as he slowly pushed his middle finger into your pussy.

Your walls immediately squeezed his finger as he lapped at your clit, letting you become accustom to the feeling before sliding a second finger inside. Once he felt you loosen he angled his fingers, pressing down against that rough spot with with ease.

You squirmed, trying in vain to squeeze your legs shut against the sensation, “Shit! Jimin!!” Swiftly covering your mouth in embarrassment at your outburst, Jimin however just giggled in response obviously happy at your comment.

He began thrusting his fingers in and out, hitting that rough patch with each motion as his tongue licked along your lips before coming back to flick at your clit. Your hips naturally started rocking against his face and hands, squeezing his fingers deep inside you.

Everything he was doing was feeling unbelievably amazing, the pressure you had felt before was slowly spiraling, a pleasant tingling sensation causing your toes to curl.

All at once his pace increased, applying even more pressure than before with each thrust. Your back arched off the bed as you felt the pressure build up inside of you like nothing before, “Jimin!” You screamed his name, suddenly unsure.

“Let go baby..” He nipped at your clit taking it into his mouth sucking deeply just as his fingers curled applying deep pressure to your g spot.

Then all at once that damn was breaking causing you to scream out his name in pleasure. A rush of arousal gushed from your core coating his face as he lapped at the liquid with a growl of approval. Your whole body tingled as you went tense, light tremors causing your arms and legs to tremble occasionally.

Once you finally came back down it was to Jimin’s soft kitten licks at your clit, you inched back from the overstimulation only to realize his fingers were still softly thrusting inside of you as well. You whimpered, pushing at his head between your legs, “Jiminie...”

He sucked gently once more on your clit, never stopping his fingers movements, “You can do one more for me, can’t you baby girl?” His hot breathe fanned your arousal once again as you slowly felt the overstimulation give way to pleasure once more.

“I don’t know... I’ve never done that before...” You moaned quietly, to which he moaned in return, taking great pleasure in knowing he was the first to make you squirt like that. Ever so slowly he slid a third finger inside of you, curling them again just right to rub at that patch inside you that gave you so much pleasure.

“I can feel it... right here, its still full.” He smirked, applying the slightest pressure against your g spot where he could feel more fluid just waiting to come out. You moaned in reply, thrusting up against his palm as he ground it down into your clit.

He had his response then, all at once his fingers moved again at lightening speed pressing harder and harder against your g spot with each thrust. He moved from between your legs, never stopping his pace he kissed you deeply, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips.

“Does it feel good? Are you gonna cum again Y/N?” He egged you on, grinding your clit against his palm as his other hand moved to cup your breast over your shirt, altering between squeezing and tweaking your nipple through the rough fabric of your bra.

He whimpered as you noticed he’d begun thrusting his hard bulge against your side. You brazenly reached down to help him relieve some of the pressure, grabbing his dick through his shorts. You were shocked to find your fingers could barely wrap around it, he was a lot bigger than you would have ever guessed.

He groaned, encouraging you as he thrust into your hand that was sliding up and down his length, “Fuck, Y/N.. faster.” You started moving faster at his request as he increased the speed of his fingers to mimic you. You both raced towards your release quickly. This being your second you hadn’t expected it to crash into you even harder than the first one, you screamed, your body going taunt at the rivets of cum escaped your body seemed never ending, soaking his body and your sheets below.

Jimin collapsed against you, allowing his full weight to rest against your side as he tried to catch his breathe. He has never cum that hard before in his life, and he hadn't even been inside you. He could only imagine the pleasure it would bring to finally complete this bond.

You lay like that for a while trying to to catch your breathe. Once Jimin recovered he quickly made his way to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth. You winced slightly when he made a move to clean you up, “Sorry, I hope I wasn’t too rough on you.” He whispered, trying to be as careful as possible.

You giggled, feeling suddenly shy, “I’m alright... that was amazing actually, I’ve never.. well, you know..” You motioned towards the sheets which would obviously have to be washed, “Done that before.”

You felt your face heat up at the comment. Squirt Y/N, just say it... he had made you squirt. Something you had thought was like the unicorn of sex so to speak. Something you thought honestly was entirely made up by to fuel porn movies.

Jimin smiled proudly, grabbing a blanket from the closet to cover you up as he snuggled beside you in bed. “Well, I’m afraid this comforter is done for.”

⇠ Previous | Next ⇢

I hope that was decent, its been a while since I’ve written an oral scene so I might be a tad rusty!

Remember to like, reblog and follow if you enjoyed! Comment below to be added to my tag list! Please let me know if I’m missing anyone! 💋

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letters2won · 1 month

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10 Things I hate about you

SYNOPSIS ౨ৎ Lee Heeseung has it all, he’s captain of the soccer team, popular, charming and hilarious (at least in his eyes). What he doesn’t have though is a girlfriend OR a prom date making him desperate. You on the other hand want nothing to do with him or his silly problems, but how come you two are always clashing heads in the end?

PAIRING: soccer player!heeseung x photographer!fem reader

GENRE and TROPES: smau & written, enemies to lovers, highschool au, fluff, possible angst

FEATURING: enhypen, chuu, gaon (xdinary heroes), gyuvin (zb1), beomgyu (txt)

STATUS: upcoming (will release in April)

TAGLIST: open! send an ask or comment to be added!

A/N ౨ৎ rewatched 10 things i hate about you again and now we’re here 🤕 This movie is so heeseung coded im actually sick to my stomach!! Anyways let’s pray i make this one a little longer 🙏

PROFILES: REAL alpha males | hamilton fans (derogatory)

CHAPTERS (title may change)

01 on my bucket list

02 jakelations

03 YOU WONT BREAK MY SOUL!

04 chivalry is REAL

05 not very dattebayo of you..

06 tba

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lcvclywon · 13 days

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LOYALTY TEST

back to masterlist

synopsis .ᐟ pranking them by pretending to be a random girl hitting on them

warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, deez nuts joke lol, mentions of death

pairings: ot7 x female reader

thoughts frm yuya 💭 another texting post what’s new lol anwww might release he was a jock she did ballet earlier than expected so stay tuned 😈

LEE HEESEUNG ㅣ 이회승

more under the cut

PARK JONGSEONG ㅣ 박중성

SIM JAEYUN ㅣ 심재윤

PARK SUNGHOON ㅣ 박성훈

KIM SUNOO ㅣ 김선우

YANG JUNGWON ㅣ 양정원

NISHIMURA RIKI ㅣ 니키

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junnieverse · 7 months

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DRUNK - DAZED ➳ ENHYPEN

➙ enhypen's reaction to you not recognising them whilst you were drunk

pairing: enhypen x gn!reader

genre: crack, very little fluff

request: " so yk the series u did with the drunk enha not recognizing their partner… u should write about the roles being reversed and their partner is the one that can’t recognize them "

warnings: lowercase intended, mentions of alcohol/drinking, not proofread, jake swears once in his drabble

a/n: thank you for the request anon, here it is! this was a cool idea too so I hope you liked it :)

a/n (2): I also wasn't sure on whether or not to add riki into this one as well but I decided to go for it but riki is not drinking and the reader is legal to drink in the drabble

a/n (3): you can also find my post on enha not recognising their s/o whilst drunk [ here ]

🖇️ — 양정원 ; JUNGWON !

you had been out celebrating with some friends and jungwon had been their too to make sure you didn't go overboard

what he wasn't expecting was for you to claim to not know who he was when it was time to leave

he wasn't suprised by your drunken behavior but he was taken aback when you asked him to prove he actually was your boyfriend

"If you're really my boyfriend, tell me something only he would know about me?" you interrogate him raising an eyebrow

"You once farted in front of my friends and blamed my dog." he says shaking his head

immediately covering his mouth you shush him feeling embarrassed at the revelation

"I can't believe Jungwon told you, he swore never to say anything." you whisper pouting as he gently removed your hands

"That's because I am Jungwon, now let's get you sobered up."

despite having already known this little secret you still couldn't seem to look Jungwon in the eye until you ran away into your room to go sleep to avoid him

🖇️ — 이희승 ; HEESEUNG !

you had a night out with some friends and your boyfriend was always the go-to person to call when you got hammered

tonight was unexpectedly different when you saw riki and pushed him away

even your friends would try telling you to sober up so heeseung could take you home but you argued that you didn't know him

"I DON'T KNOW THAT MAN! DON'T FEED ME TO THE WOLVES YOU PUNKS!" you yell out to your friends

he was shocked to say the least because you've never acted this way around him

soon your boyfriend had to step in and he carried you over his shoulder whilst you hit his back

"LET GO OF ME YOU CREEP BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE BECAUSE IF I CALL MY BOYFRIEND HE WON'T GO EASY ON YOU!" you fight as your words came out slurred

despite your pretty weak defence, he oddly found this entertaining

he makes sure to help you sober up and feeds you until you fall asleep

🖇️ — 박종성 ; JAY !

you were a mess

jay got a call from your friends that you were crying saying you missed him and so he came over to get you

turns out you were just incredibly drunk and rambling over how perfect your boyfriend was and you 'didn't deserve him'

"I'm right here darling, wanna leave?" jay says rubbing your back as you look at him dazed

"Who are you sir?" you ask sniffling softly as you wipe a tear

he was left too stunned to speak

thought it was just you messing around with him but after he laughed and he say how stoic you were, he realised you were serious

"What, I'm literally your boyfriend, it's me Jay." he says pointing to himself as you shake your head

"No, my boyfriend is way cuter, no offense sir." you tell him taking another sip of your drink

he wasn't sure whether to take your words as an offense or a compliment but he still couldn't believe it

🖇️ — 심재윤 ; JAKE !

jake got a little pouty seeing as you couldn't recognise him

all he wanted was your affection but you wouldn't even touch him, CUDDLE THE MAN BEFORE HE DIES STARVED OF TOUCH

to make matters worse was you tried everything in your power to avoid him thinking you were in danger

poor guy had to chase after you trying to calm you down but to no avail

you'd tried hiding, screaming and even running away but he always came back

"Baby please stop, it's me, Jake. Layla's dad." he tells you making you go into shock

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY BOYFRIEND'S DOG YOU STALKER?!" you yell at him as you hiccup slightly still drunk

you still didn't believe his words so you decided to call jake for yourself and somehow the phone in the stranger's pocket rang

"YOU ATE JAKE!!" you accuse him pointing at him in horror

"Oh for fucks sakes." he says done with your drunk self

🖇️ — 박성훈 ; SUNGHOON !

he was offended to say the least

"But (y/n) it's me, you're handsome and funny boyfriend. Snap out of it." he says shaking you lightly with his hands on your shoulders

you on the other hand was ready to fight because you couldn't believe this 'stranger' just laid his hands on you

"One more word buddy and I'll throw my shoe at you!" you warn your boyfriend slapping his hands off as you turn to leave

sunghoon was very adamant to get you to recognise him because he was your designated ride home anyway

"Sweetheart it's me, I'm Sunghoon!" he says again getting aggravated

true to your prior warning, you indeed took off your shoe and threw it at him

hoon woke up the next morning with a huge bump on his forehead and you couldn't remember a thing

"Where did you get that bump from baby?" you ask handing him an ice packing having no idea

he still wonders how someone so incredibly drunk had such great aim

🖇️ — 김선우 ; SUNOO !

"CAUSE IIIIII KNOW YA LIKE BOY!" you sing (more like scream) at the top of your lungs as sunoo directed you into the house

you had a few glasses of wine earlier on after working and sunoo was left in your care having picked you up after a karaoke night with friends

"Thank you for the ride mister taxi man." you tell your boyfriend getting out of the car

he was left very confused because he'd thought it was a joke at first when you got into the backseat and told him your address but he didn't pay much mind to it

"Sir why are you coming into my house." you ask trying to stand up straight to only lose your balance but sunoo was quick to catch you

"I live with you silly, I'm your boyfriend." he explains realising you didn't recognise him

"I already have one, his name is Sunoo, see." you tell him showing him your lockscreen of you and sunoo together

"Okay how about you go to sleep and your boyfriend will be right next to you once you wake up." he tells you gently brushing your hair

true to his words, you woke up to your sweet boyfriend right next to you still not realising he was with you the entire night

🖇️ — 西村力 ; NI-KI !

as hurt as he was seeing you fail to recognise him, part of him also found it adorable

he knew he should've tried to help you sober up but watching you was like watching a patient who'd just gotten their wisdom tooth out and the gas had taken over

"Did you know I'm actually a secret spy, it's a secret but I'm telling you even though I've never met you before." you whisper looking around as if not wanting anyone to hear you

he would simply play along because he found this extremely entertaining

and this would be great content as birthday exposure

"And I have this super tall boyfriend, he's nine feet tall now." you say proudly not realising how ridiculous you actually sound

"You kinda remind me of him, only difference is you're much shorter... and he's way more handsome." you tell him mumbling the last part but riki caught on

it stopped being funny after you had made fun and complimented him at the same time and he realised you needed to stop with the drinks

he couldn't believe you were complimenting another man right in front of him... it was him but that's not the point-

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saursoob · 2 months

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ENHYPEN TEXTS - “youre not my type”

synopsis: telling boyfriend enha (ot7) that theyre not your type as a joke

a/n: LOL wons slide is such a lie i love some sassy men 🎀

perm tags: @jaeneohee @skittlez-area512 @aaasia111

#sunghoon enhypen #enhypen niki #enhypen jay #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smau #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen ot7 #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x oc #enha #enhypen social media au #enha smau

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strawberrynull · 2 months

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──౨ৎ ˙❄ ̟ first snow (enha ver.)

엔하이픈 | Enhypen | ot7

──Pairing: enha ot7 x reader

──Genre: fluff, scenarios, imagines

──Synopsis: You are outside with enhypen when it suddenly begins snowing- the first snow of the winter season. In Korea, there is a superstition that whoever you are with on the first snow is your soulmate

──A/N: guys I love winter so much. It's my favorite season. Also I have a draft that I dunno if I wanna post or not...

(This story was written with @sharksandminhos - please go follow!)

이희승 | Heeseung

“Ahh this is why I tell you to bring gloves.” Heeseung sucks his teeth as he takes his gloves off and reaches for your hands, which are icy to the touch. This wasn't the first time you had forgotten your gloves. No, this had to have been at least the 20th time. Truth be told, it was on purpose too.

Whenever you would forget your gloves, you hoped that your boyfriend would take your hands in his. Most of the time he would just hand you his pair of gloves instead.

Heeseung carefully slipped his gloves over your cold hands. You let out a huff and cross your arms in annoyance.

“What?” He feigns ignorance, scrunching his eyebrows together. "I always tell you to bring gloves but you don't even when it's snowing."

"Seungie, you wouldn't understand-"

"It's the first snow though so I'll let it slide this time." He sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets. Before you can even ask what he meant, he began explaining. "They say that if you're with someone on the first snow, that person is your soulmate."

He then grabbed your hands, gaze not leaving your lively features. "I know you've been forgetting your gloves on purpose. It's not hard to miss." Heeseung chuckles. He studies your fingers, playing with the cute silver rings that adorned them before intertwining his hands with yours. You look down at your interlocked hands then up at him through your eyelashes with big doe like eyes. The white snowflakes sat on top of your slightly windblown hair, nose red from the chilly winter air.

“It's really cute, but you don’t have to freeze yourself to get me to hold your hand. I will take it upon myself to hold your hand in every walk we take, whether it’s 100 degrees outside or negative 15 degrees.”

박종성 | Jongseong

You and Jay had gone to the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner that obviously Jay would be cooking. While walking back home along the sidewalk, a tiny fleck of snow dropped onto your cheek causing you to flinch slightly. You pressed your hand to your cheek, using your other hand to tug at his sleeve.

"Hey Jay, look," He stopped walking and turned to look at you. "It's snowing!" You said excitedly. Jay gave a loving smile.

"That's great. We better get home before we get stuck in the snow though." He chuckled before continuing to walk.

"It's the first snow."

"Yeah, I suppose it is." He nodded. You huffed at his ignorance.

"Jayyyyyyy," you pouted. Jay turned to you with a look of confusion. "The person you're with on the first snow is your soulmate."

Jay just laughed. You furrowed your brows and crossed your arms. "So that's why you were acting like this?" He stood in front of you, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. He leaned down just inches from your face. You closed your eyes, feeling Jays lips lightly press onto yours. "Then I'm glad I'm here with you."

심재윤 | Jaeyun

Jake had been rambling on and on about Pokemon for the past 15 minutes. You two were hanging out at the park, as per usual. It was too cold for little kids to want to play outside so the playground was empty besides you and your boyfriend. The swing set squeaked as you swung side by side.

"And I was trying to catch this stupid Tyranitar but-" suddenly Jake went quiet.

You turned to him, dropping your smile. "Jakey you didn't finish your sentence."

"Baby, look!" he gasped, eyes widening. He jumped from the swing and pointed into the air. "It's snowing!"

"Is it really?" You asked, also getting up off your swing. You cupped your hand in front of your mouth and blew warm air into your palms, attempting to warm yourself up a bit.

"I'm serious. It's snowing, it's snowing!" He yelled, jumping up and down while flailing his arms around like a child. "Can we make a snowman? Pleaseeeeee, pretty pleaseeee?"

A giggle escaped your lips as Jake grabbed your hands with excitement, smiling brightly with his signature smile.

"Jake, there is definitely not enough snow to make a snowman right now." He gives a small 'aww' before pouting. You chuckle softly at his cuteness. "It's okay. You know why? Because today is the first snow, and I'm here with you and only you."

He tilts his head in confusion for a moment before his eyes widen and his mouth forms a small 'oh.' A smirk quickly spreads across his face as he comes closer to you, snaking his hands around your waist. He begins to quickly litter kisses all over your face as you stifle out laughs.

"You have no idea how happy I am to be your soulmate."

박성훈 | Sunghoon

Snow had begun to fall as the two of you walked on the sidewalk, passing building after building. This was the perfect opportunity for you to call him the nickname he hated.

"Hey ice prince," you coo. The nickname made him stop in his tracks and turn to you, rolling his eyes. Just the reaction you wanted.

"What is it now?" He huffed.

You immediately scrunched your nose. You dropped his hand, sighing dramatically. "Geez you're so mean to me." You stuck your bottom lip out forming a cute small pout.

"F-fine, I'm sorry." he stuttered quickly. Sunghoon picked your hands back up, slightly panicking. "What's up, angel?" He asked, squeezing your hand gently.

"It's snowing, see?" you explained, hoping to tease him some more. To your dismay, he came back with a comment of his own to tease you with.

"You know, they say that whoever you're with when it snows for the first time will be your soulmate." He smirked, leaning down just mere centimeters from your face. You could feel his breath on your cold face as it made white clouds in the frigid air. He cupped your cheek in his cold large hand. You clamped your eyes shut as Sunghoons lips ghosted against your own.

"Does that make you my ice princess?"

김선우 | Sunoo

You cover your face shyly as Sunoo captures another picture of you on his phone. It had suddenly started snowing while you guys were walking around Hongdae to go shopping together. "Ah don't cover your face! The pictures are better when I can actually see you." You giggle and shake your head before running up to him to look at the said pictures. "Oh those actually aren't bad." You say sighing in content then looking up at Sunoo. He looked just as breathtaking in the snow. You bring your hand up to run your icy fingers through his dark brown locks. The snowflakes that had settled on top of his hair fall as you do so. "You know I should take some pictures of you too. You look really pretty right now" Sunoo's face breaks out into an ear to ear smile and can't help but laugh at the comment. "No stoppppp~ you're the pretty one here!" He says wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him. When you open your mouth to protest some more, he beats you to it. "They say that whoever you're with during the first snow is your soulmate~" He wiggles his eyebrows as you look at him wide eyed, your cheeks coming to be a deeper shade of red, and not from the cold. When he starts to laugh even more you hit his arm. "Yaaaa- nobody says that." you pout and roll your eyes. Sunoo shakes his head, insisting that it's true. When you keep denying it he grabs your hands, pulling you close to him. "They do. I'm serious, angel." Sunoo kisses the tip of your peachy nose and smiles down at you with lovestruck eyes. "And there's nobody i'd rather be with than you." You giggle and bury your face in his chest before begging to take pictures of him in the snow.

양정원 | Jungwon

As soon as the cold white flake hit your cheek, your face lit up in excitement. You watched as the air around Seoul turned pale from the falling snow. "Ya Jungwon-ah! It's snowing look!" You lift your palms up and spin around, making Jungwon chuckle. He wraps his hands around your waist and kisses the corner of your mouth lovingly and looks you in the eye. "What happened to calling me Wonnie?" He says playfully pouting. Your eyes widen and you immediately shake your head, some of the icy specks flying off the top. At this point, your boyfriend preferred his cute nickname over his real name. Only you could call him Wonnie. "I'm sorry... Wonnie." You smile innocently. Jungwon pecks your lips once and smiles at you. You can't help but find him adorable- with the way his nose is a rosy shade of red because of the frigid weather, and his hair slightly messy from the chilly evening breeze. "How could I be mad knowing you're the angel I was destined to be with?" You eyebrows first furrow in confusion, but then shoot up with realization. "Oh! I am!" You jump up and wrap your arms around his shoulders to bring him in for a nice, warm hug.

"You don't realize how happy you make me." Jungwon whispers, sighing into your comforting embrace.

니키 | Niki

Snow was falling gently as you and Niki stood outside on his apartment balcony. You had a beautiful view of the city. All the buildings covered in white fluffy snow was a sight to see.

You hadn't planned for it to snow when you were going to your boyfriends house. So now you were outside in thin pants and a long sleeve shirt with the majority of the front cut out.

"Please just take my coat and scarf." He pleaded, taking off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. "You've gotta be freezing cold."

"Niki you're literally in short sleeves and jeans." You deadpanned, trying to shrug off his jacket. You knew he wouldn't give up that easily though. He had insisted you wear his jacket at least 5 times now. "You're gonna be colder than me. I'll be fine."

"I'm not cold." He lied, attempting to appear as if he wasn't shaking. He took off his scarf- the cold air hitting his bare neck, sending a chill down his spine.

"Yes you are. Baby I can see you shivering." You held up your hands to prevent him from giving you his gray and black scarf.

"I'm not cold." He insisted again, eventually wrapping his scarf carefully around your neck after you stopped putting up a fight.

You watched as Niki shook from the cold, teeth chattering occasionally. He would try to descretely rub his hands together. The prominent goosebumps on his arms made you pout at how selfless and kindhearted he was, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"... Come here." put his jacket back on his shoulders and stand in front of him. He slides his arms through the sleeves and snakes his arms around your waist. You carefully wrap the fluffy scarf around both your necks, forcing you two to be close.

"Did you know that today is the first snow?" you ask, barely above a whisper. Niki can't help staring at your lips as you speak. "That means we're soulmates, Niki."

Niki stumbles to form a coherent sentence. Instead he decides to place his lips on yours, squeezing your waist gently. The kiss lingers for a moment, before Niki pulls away, quickly dropping his head in your shoulder to hide his obvious blush.

"Good."

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tarosunshine · 2 months

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라이즈 𐙚 FIRST KISS ﹗

genre fluff 𖹭 warning kisses pairing — OT7 x fem reader | bookshelf .

— your first kiss with them.

and here you were, sitting in front of your best friend, who you had known for four years, sharing a kiss. this it wasn't planned, this took you by surprise. the sun barely came through the curtains illuminating him, and his hand on your cheek sent shivers down your spine. a tender and slow kiss, along with his hands delicately caressing your face. he kissed you so full of love that your heart raced. “i'm sorry” was the first thing he said, resting his forehead against yours, with his eyes still closed. your breathing was fast, and you could see how his pupils widened when he opened his dark eyes. “i like you” he whispered, his lips inches from yours. a smile appeared on your face, and you immediately hugged him around the waist, keeping your faces together. “i like you too, silly.”

𐙚 SHOTARO

𐙚 EUNSEOK

the bottle spun in front of you, and you mentally cursed seunghan, who was the one who had dared you to spin it a few seconds ago. the people in the circle watched the object spin with attention. until it stopped, and you were a little afraid to look up because when you did so, you met those big eyes that made your heart race. of course, it had to be eunseok, lucky you. you died of shame when you had to get close to his face, under the laughter of the people and under his gaze. he looked at you expectantly— you missed that mini smirk on his face. his hand went firmly to the back of your neck, bringing you closer to his lips, taking control. his movements were slow and even somewhat romantic. they left your mind blank, and the butterflies fluttered everywhere.

𐙚 SUNGCHAN

sungchan's hand, now your boyfriend, has big hands compared to yours, and that's why one of the things he likes to do the most is hold it and brag about it. and that's what you're doing while walking through a cherry tree park, holding hands. your relationship had started just a few weeks ago, so you two still hadn't had the chance to kiss, until this moment, when sungchan took advantage of having pulled a petal out of your hair and captured your lips instantly, in a way so sweet and delicate that it made you almost melt. “i like you so much” he whispered with his hand on your cheek.

𐙚 WONBIN

you had met wonbin on an outing to a small local band gig you went to with your friends. the way his hands slid over the strings of his guitar and his passion for it caught your attention immediately, and he noticed you in the crowd at the small recital. so when he finished, he approached you and invited you to dinner, and after the knowing smiles and pushes of your friends, you accepted. maybe it was because of the alcohol that you kissed him goodbye. burying your hands in his hair, and his hands hesitated to rest on your waist, but finally, he ended up doing so, along with his lips that moved against yours in a slow and intoxicating way. then when he dropped you off at your house, he promised to take you on another date.

𐙚 SEUNGHAN

you couldn't believe you were playing this. you didn't even know how you had ended up in this situation, passing paper mouths to mouths? yes, that strange game. but there you were, in a circle of people laughing and with glasses of alcohol in their hands. the boy next to you and the friend of the host, seunghan, was currently trying to pass the paper to your mouth. you could hear the giggles of the other people, but you only concentrated on the paper not falling, but from one moment to the another, it ended up falling, causing both of you to kiss, although neither of you moved away. it was a casual and somewhat clumsy kiss.

𐙚 SOHEE

you were writhing with laughter underneath sohee because his hands were tickling your ribs and stomach. you asked him to stop while you tried to grab his wrists, but he didn't stop. “sohee, go away!” you also tried to tickle him but to no avail. his body still on top of yours, while he also laughed and continued torturing you, but then he stopped and you looked into each other's eyes, with heavy breathing from laughing so much, they mixing together. until he slowly leaned over and placed his lips on yours, something that took you a little by surprise. his movements were somewhat desperate against your lips, but he knew what he was doing. his hands still on your waist and hips while you grabbed his cheeks. “i think your face is red” he mocked you as he pulled away, to look at your face, so you slapped his shoulder before hiding your face in your hands.

𐙚 ANTON

you saw anton's back, or rather the gaming chair, while you were sitting on his bed with your arms crossed. he was playing entertainingly on his computer without paying attention to you. i mean, you call your best friend to hang out, and all you do is ignore her? “hey, you” you called with a frown as you stood next to him. he just hummed without turning to look at you. you bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about something and looking at his face from your position, so you approached his face and gave him a peck on the lips. instantly, he stopped moving his hands. he turned his head slowly, looking at you with his eyes open and his mouth barely open. you laughed in his face and then returned to your original spot. he turned his chair around, following you with his gaze, still in shock. well, now he was definitely paying attention to you.

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fruitmins · 5 months

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Agust Dad—Eight

➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry

➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au

➭warnings: fluff but then not fluff.., they cannot catch a break fr, rushed to edit this so might have mistakes

note: i did NOT forget about this book believe it or not.. my parents have been on my ass about school and getting into a college. plus the motivation to write was just not there?? but i like this chapter and it’s a bit longer so enjoy (finally)🫶🏾 taglist is gonna be closed tho, sorry

Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings @butterymin @girl-nahh @linneasblog @cuntessaiii @nikkiordonez12 @chl0buggy @serendididy @llallaaa @ghostlyworld @roguesthetic @captainchrisstan @bxcndd @lukeys-giggle @mint--yoongs @hyunjaespresent-deobi @yes-suga @gimeow @coffeedepressionsoup @mixedfandxms

You step out of the hospital, feeling the cool breeze on your face for the first time in days.

You stop before getting into Yoongi’s personal car, taking in the world around you after days of spending time cooped up inside.

You take a deep breath, breathing in the fresh air. The whole experience these past few days has been exhausting, both physically and mentally but you're happy to finally be able to leave, and even more happy that you and the baby are both healthy and okay. You're looking forward to going back home, seeing the others, and just getting some well-needed rest.

And the best part of it all..

Yoongi is by your side. Every second you were in the hospital he was there and refused to go anywhere that wasn’t the toilet. It was heart warming, and it made you look at him even more differently. You didn’t want to say you were falling for his caring gestures and kind admiring eyes, but it was starting to get alarmingly similar. Even if he was showing concern it still made your heart flutter slightly.

And you put all the blame for your confusing feelings on him.

Even as he held your hand and guided you to his car and out of the private hospital you felt your hands starting to sweat as you pushed back any thoughts about gushing over it.

You managed to hold in enough sweat for him not to tease you about it before he lets go to open the passenger door for you.

Yoongi doesn’t take his time to start driving and head home. He can tell how tired you are from everything, glancing at you every once in a while as he tries to keep his eyes on the road.

"How are you feeling, Y/N?" he finally asks softly. You nod slightly, feeling relieved that the pregnancy is fine.

"Good," he nods, smiling gently. As if he can understand you without you even speaking. Sometimes you wonder if co parenting will be that easy. "Let's get home so you can rest properly."

You lay your head back against the head restraint as he drove them back to his spare home.

You look over at him, pausing and thinking carefully before opening your mouth to say something. You’re nervous to talk to him, but you quickly shake away your thoughts and tell yourself to act like an adult and not a school girl.

“Thank for being here, Yoongs. You could have flew the moment you found out you got a random woman pregnant..but you didn’t.” You say in a soft quiet voice. You needed to be an adult and give him his props. After everything that has happened he hadn’t once shied away.

Yoongi flinches slightly at your words, seemingly unprepared to hear them but he lets out a soft chuckle at the nickname, something you were starting to pick up from Harin.

"No, I couldn't leave you," he says quietly, his eyes fluttering. "That... wasn't an option." He states. You’re confused on what he meant by that, and almost ask him to elaborate but think it’s better for your feelings and sanity if you just left it there.

He looks at you for a moment, his expression turning to a small smile. "I'm glad I could be here to support you."

He gives a small sigh, looking towards the road, the sunlight shining through the windshield. He looks like he wants to say more but holds it back. "You should get some rest." he says softly after a while of comfortable silence, his voice gentle.

“Okay.” You say with a small smile, turning your head away from him you tired to get as comfortable as you could in the car.

Your head slowly starts to droop forward and you begin to doze off. It doesn’t help that he is driving extra slow and extra careful, some soft music (of course BTS) playing on a low volume that sends you to sleep.

"Y/N... wake up..." you hear Yoongi's voice, and you open your eyes. You're suddenly back (to his) home and Yoongi is gently shaking you awake.

Yoongi lets out a soft chuckle as he notices your sleepy expression. “That probably felt like three minutes but I promise you it was at least fifteen. I even went around in circles to buy time.”

“Oh, thanks..” you say with a weak chuckle and a small yawn as you slowly unbuckle my seatbelt and exit the car and slowly enter the house with him.

“Surprise!”

You flinch in shock and surprise when the first thing you hear once you open the door are screaming voices. Your eyes are wide as you come back to life and analyze the situation in front of you.

There’s the rest of the members and Harin stood in the living room. You feel tired, both physically and mentally, but you're happy to see the banner, the decorations, and the cake.

Yoongi who is next you let out a soft chuckle, “Guys you didn’t have to.” Yoongi says, shaking his head in slight disbelief as Harin speed walks up to you to give you a tight hug.

You can already feel yourself getting emotional, but Harin’s hug just adds salt to the wound. “Girl, why aren’t you on your honeymoon?” You ask with a small chuckle, trying to hold back your hormonal emotions.

“Like I could relax while you were in the hospital.” She rolls her eyes at you and you just hug her tighter. “Jin felt the same way..” she adds, rubbing your back for comfort but her statement just makes you more emotional. Of course Jin would feel guilty about it.

It felt like for the first time in a while, you felt like you were liked, maybe even loved. You felt like you fit in with the boys and Harin, despite the awkward situation and how you met them. They didn’t judge you, and they genuinely cared about you.

Someway, somehow, despite all the chaos you just went through. You felt at peace.

After a few hours, they leave, and you're left to clean up the mess they made. You’re not mad at it though. It was nice chatting and eating with the group after being in the hospital for days. It was a nice distraction, and your only distraction since Yoongi still has your phone. Even though it could be seen as controlling, you know he’s just protecting you from the media. You feel crazy for gushing about the fact that he held your phone.

You take a deep breath and start to pick up, your hands moving automatically as you focus on the cleaning. You’re exhausted, your moves slow and sluggish. And Yoongi seemed to notice from the kitchen as he washed a couple dishes.

"Y/N..." he says gently, setting down the dishes and moving over to you. He gently takes the broom out of your hand and places it back where he found it.

"Sit down, I'll take care of it." he says softly. "You're obviously very tired.” He says and you’re about to object and reach for the broom but he holds out his hand and stops you.

Yoongi pauses, watching you for a few moments before he walks up behind you and takes the broom from your hands. "It'll be faster if I do this," he replies gently.

"It’s my house, Y/N.” Yoongi says softly with a small chuckle. Yoongi looks at you sympathetically, and you realize how exhausted you are.

“Alright, fair point..” you mumble, giving him one last look and he gives you a small reassuring nod. “Goodnight.” You say to him and responds back as you go to the master bedroom.

You gently close the door and pick out a change of clothes before settling down in the bed. Your muscles relax against the softness, letting out a breath as you immediately start to drift off to sleep.

You don’t know what time it is when you wake up, but you know it has to be late at night because when you open your eyes your met with nothing but darkness and silence.

You get up to use the bathroom, your blatter getting the best of you as you waddle to the restroom.

You don’t notice the slight vibrations as you pass the living room the first time, but you do the second time when you exist the bathroom. There’s the sound of soft buzzing and a quiet ringtone in the silence. It takes you a few minutes before you fully process that the ringing is coming from the living room. Then you realize it’s your ringtone from your phone. The phone you hadn’t seen in days.

You get a dreadful feeling in your stomach as you make your way to the living room. The last time you checked your phone this late, you ended up in the hospital. But still, you slowly move to the living room.

It's dark, but you see the outline of Yoongi on the couch. After a moment you notice that there's a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a pillow beneath his head.

You slowly approach him, trying not to wake up. He looked so peaceful as he slept. You smile softly at the sight. You couldn’t imagine what this was doing to him and his career. You almost felt sorry for him..

You snap out of your daze as you hear the buzzing again, turning to see your phone on the floor charging a couple steps away from the couch.

You step to your phone, taking it off the charger and tiptoeing out of the living room so you didn’t wake Yoongi. He looked like he needed the sleep.

You squint from the bright screen, not really looking at the caller ID before answering.

“Hello? Y/N?”

A voice answers before you can even greet them. The oddly familiar voice makes you physically flinch, a whole new wave of emotions and memories washing over you.

“Mom?”

You hadn’t heard the voice in a year, but you know good and well that it’s hers. You remember the way she picked up the phone and immediately started talking, asking, demanding for money. That’s the only reason she would ever call, until you finally had enough and told her to stop.

So why was she calling? Especially at this time of night?

You get a terrible feeling, your breathing getting slightly heavier as you speak into the phone. “W-Why are you calling this late? Why are you calling at all?” You question, the sleepiness almost entirely gone.

Your mother clears her throat, her annoyed and stressed tone coming through the phone.

"Y/N, you haven't picked up any of my calls or texts for the past few days," she says firmly, her voice filled with a bit of anger that you remember all to well.

"I was worried sick, thinking you had gotten hurt or worse!" your mother continues, her words quick and clipped. You immediately know it’s a lie, because she had never cared about you before. Your whole childhood she’d flip from being the most loving parent in the world to wanted your head dead on a stick. But she was the only parent you had, so you stuck with her until you moved out.

"Especially since everyone on the internet is saying that you’re pregnant with some idols baby.” she adds.

There’s a long pause.

The crickets outside fill the silence as you take a minute to think.

“Mom..how do you know that?” You ask slowly and carefully your heart slipping a beat as you think back to that terrible night. The last thing you can remember are people seeing some of your face in the video. They couldn’t have learned your identity. And if they did, why didn’t Yoongi tell you the second you woke up in the hospital?

“Hunny, everyone knows you’re pregnant,” your mother continues, her voice still filled with annoyance. “It’s trending right now on the internet, and everyone knows who you are.”

You can almost hear the smile in her voice, the way your mother always gets smug when she’s right. “...Y/N, I’m disappointed that you couldn’t tell me as soon as you found out.”

She sounds almost disappointed, like she feels betrayed by you in some way. But your to frozen in shock and fear to yell at her. Of course she would break no contract and call. She found out you were in ‘relations’ with a millionaire. Money.

Your phone shakes in your hand in fear. This whole time you were trying to keep it private, to have a normal life despite everything. And it’s all coming crashing down. You realize that your phone wasn’t just vibrating because of the call,

It was because you were getting hundreds of texts and inbox messages. Even as you shook your phone was going off, notifications from every social app you owned.

“I-I gotta go.” You say, going to twitter, only to see that your mom was right. As much as you hated to think that.

You look at the Twitter feed, your heart sinking as you see all of the pictures floating around. Your full name, your pictures, where you go to school... it's all there. For at least 24 hours.

You don’t know how, but people managed to use the clip and used face recognition to find out who you were. What was worse was that old coworkers and classmates were also speaking up and saying it was you. Your full government name was on the internet. They managed to find out where you went to school more hidden pictures of you on the internet.

You feel a tear roll down your face as you try to contain your emotions. It feels like the end of the world.

And what makes it even worse is that Yoongi didn’t tell you.

Yoongi knew, and he didn't tell you. He kept this secret from you. A secret you needed to know.

Your mother's voice filters through the phone in your hand. "Go? Why?"

"Mom, I have to go," you say again in a whisper, your voice choked up with tears. "Don't call here anymore." You don’t give her time to respond before hanging up.

You can feel your breath quickening as you try to make sense of everything that's happening.

You start to shake, your heart pounding against your chest as you struggle to stay calm but it’s difficult when you believe that your life is ruined.

You stare at your phone, trying to ignore the millions of notifications coming through. You don't know where to begin. You don’t know what to do.

Your steps are heavy as you move back to the living room, staring at Yoongi who was still asleep on the couch.

He knew the entire time. They all knew. And they welcomes you back with a party and cake. They made it seem like nothing was wrong and kept you in the dark.

Staring at his peaceful face, you no longer felt sorry. You felt betrayed.

One of your tears drop onto his face, causing his eyes to flutter before slowly opening. "Y/N..." Yoongi stirs when he sees you lingering over them.

He blinks a few times, still half-asleep as he groggily turns his head around and looks at you. He slowly sits up on the couch, rubbing his eyes and wiping away the tear on his cheek.

He realizes your the source of the tear, his expression forming into one of concern. "Y/N, you okay? Did something happen?" he asks quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You speak in a whisper, looking at him with my own glossy sad eyes.

“People found out who I was, a-and you didn’t tell me.” You try your best to sound strong but you can’t, mentally and physically.

Yoongi looks at you with small shock and confusion before his eyes shift to the buzzing phone in your hand.

"Y/N," he says, his tone filled with concern as he hears the shakiness in your voice but it’s clear he is trying to hold himself back from freaking out himself.

He pauses for a moment, seemingly not knowing what to say. "I was going to tell you." he says softly but that just makes you even more pissed.

“I was going to tell you,” he says again, more firmly and confidently. “But I didn’t want to overwhelm you and there wasn’t a good time.”

“There was never going to be a good time. That’s not an excuse. You should have told me!” You say, your voice rising slightly but it’s clear that you’re broken by the tone.

“Y/N, you just got out of the hospital. I wasn’t going to spring that up on you.” He says firmly but with a worried expression.

“I-I don’t need you to look after me. Not when your the reason for this mess.” You say, the words even sounding harsh to you the second they left your mouth.

Yoongi flinches, his expressions turning to shock as you say your words and you almost feel bad.

"Y/N... it's not like that," he says softly. "Please, don't say that.” He looks like he's about to say more, but you cut him off before he can.

“I-I think you should go home.” You say with a swallow, even though it’s pitch black outside. Nevermind it’s his house.

Yoongi’s eyes widen at your words, taken aback by them as he stands up from the couch. “Y/N, don’t be like that..” he says with a low tone, almost pleading.

He takes a few steps towards you, trying to get close enough to you to talk to you properly. “I had a reason, I promise and I want to be here for you. I'm not going to leave you alone... not when you need me the most." he says, the sincerity in his voice clear.

“You don’t know what I need because you don’t know me.” You say quickly and sharply, your breathing heavy. “Because despite the lies you told to the media you haven’t known me for years and we didn’t fall in love.”

There’s a long uncomfortable silence in the air as the two of you share your own looks of hurt.

“J-Just leave..” You mumble, looking away from him as you wipe your tears.

He's silent for a few moments in the wake of your words. He knows you’re right, and he knows that you probably need space.

"I suppose you're right," he whispers taking a small step back.

His eyes fill with regret and guilt as he stands up, turning towards the door. "I'm so sorry, Y/N."

With that, the door closes behind him, leaving you alone in the quiet house.

It’s silent as you try to get your feelings and thoughts under control. Your phone vibrates again in your phone and without even thinking, you chuck it at the wall.

Your phone breaks into pieces and you sit down on the living room floor, just looking at them as your heart slowly breaks with it.

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bangtanficsforyou · 5 months

Text

They Reject You (maknae line)-03

Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: swear words here and there.

Word count: 20K (approx)

A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).

Park Jimin

Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless.

How exactly does he make things right?

If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.

He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again.

The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you?

It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.

However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers.

Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.

Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.

It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.

Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.

Huh?

But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.

At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung.

Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang.

Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."

Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."

"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"

"Y/N."

"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?"

Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"

Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."

Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep.

Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep.

"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung.

And then just keeps staring.

Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop.

When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit.

"You're so in love."

Or maybe wait.

Jimin doesn't laugh.

Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."

"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."

Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love.

Huh.

"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?"

Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."

Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"

"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"

"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence.

"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk."

Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind.

Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not."

Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."

For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is.

Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on.

"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be."

Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so.

It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up.

Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely.

What the fuck.

Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet.

He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet.

"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:

"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?

You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something."

Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere.

But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell.

He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch.

The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case.

Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep.

Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it.

It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought.

The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off.

Well, guess he did run away, after all.

You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment.

"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table.

However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top.

With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right.

The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation."

The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."

There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time.

One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.

"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”

Huh.

Is...Is Jimin apologising?

No way.

After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on.

Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west.

You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone.

You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in.

Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner.

But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do.

Things are pretty clear in your head.

You forgive Jimin.

You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were.

You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable.

But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.

It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless.

That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities.

You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself.

Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that.

The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on.

So what is Jimin to you, now?

Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again.

And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice.

Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it.

For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet.

For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read:

I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.

It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands.

You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet.

Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day.

Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone.

Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact.

You: hey

You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore

You: I forgive you

Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.

"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me"

"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"

"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"

Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages."

When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy.

"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears.

However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"

"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me."

Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."

Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."

Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing.

Jimin: Thank you

Wait.

Thank you?

Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough?

He doesn't think so.

Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response.

If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual.

He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one.

Geez, texting is difficult.

What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously.

Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once?

Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again?

That might be too much.

But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that.

Jimin: Thank you.

Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got

Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice.

When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way.

But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense.

You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that.

The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.

Jimin: How have you been?

Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.

Guess, you need to break it to him.

You: I've been fine

You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were

Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text.

You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore

You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂

You: especially me.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad.

It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same.

But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages.

Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen.

Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying.

Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.

But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung.

This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.

It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet.

Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes.

Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off.

He has had enough.

Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on.

This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes.

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid."

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good.

Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?"

This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going."

"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"

Ah. Drama queen, it is.

"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words.

Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.

Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky.

Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."

Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands.

With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats.

"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself. "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?"

Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."

Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't think it matters."

"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"

Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."

Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"

Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding.

"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?"

The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses.

Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?"

Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.

He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."

Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer.

"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."

"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."

Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done.

"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?"

"I must have," Jimin agrees.

"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?"

Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.

"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life."

"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes.

Jimin nods.

Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through."

—-------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.

Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive.

A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face.

Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door.

It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge.

Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer.

He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you.

"And you must be Y/N?"

You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"

"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."

Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name.

"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you?

He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."

You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?"

"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this.

"From Jimin?"

"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."

You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.

"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head.

You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.

"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin?

"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."

And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken.

You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again?

He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party.

Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't.

He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon.

The universe, however, has other plans.

Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't.

It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class.

But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is.

However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is.

Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion.

For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd.

He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you.

He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung.

The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.

"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard.

"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice.

"How have you been?"

Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him.

However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine."

Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question.

"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat.

His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours.

You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet.

You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air.

Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left.

Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction.

"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving.

"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.

"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.

Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.

A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man.

However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down.

"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."

Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again.

"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."

Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected.

"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."

You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you?

"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words.

"Let me take you out on a date."

Kim Taehyung

I'm in a relationship.

You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again.

Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well.

How do you feel about it, exactly?

You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling.

That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long.

Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do.

You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.

It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to.

"Y/N!"

You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?"

"You zoned out again."

"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"

"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."

If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy.

You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words."

"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."

Oh yeah, it's been a week.

Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response.

You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.

Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other.

A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly.

"See! Not good for you."

You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature.

—-----------

"How are you?"

You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Idk man, 7?"

"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"

"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety.

She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."

Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them.

She's protective of you, incredibly so.

When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant.

On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.

With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city.

"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy."

Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."

"He is nice," you say a little more firmly.

"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"

To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?"

You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."

"Hah! So you agree on something with me."

"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."

"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N."

Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt.

And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."

"But he did hurt you!!!"

"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."

"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."

"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."

She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."

"We will see," you chuckle.

You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly.

—————————————————————

You: hey

It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today.

Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung.

Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋

A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.

You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be.

You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner

Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.

Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!

Tae 🐻: work can get busy

Tae 🐻: it's fine!

Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it.

You: uhmm thanks

You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?

Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead.

Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.

You: i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol

You: this is so awkward

Tae 🐻: just say it

Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all

Some of your anxiety softens at his words.

You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂

Tae 🐻: that's okay

Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts?

Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing.

You: that'd be great!

You: thank you!

Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌

You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?

Tae 🐻: done 👍

Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say.

It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing.

You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days.

You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else.

You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood.

You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you.

You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out.

You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that.

Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour.

You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return.

You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid.

You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me.

You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status

You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important.

You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.

You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf.

You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud.

To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that.

You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.

You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂

There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later?

However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask.

When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question.

It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts.

But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now.

Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch.

Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them.

So you'll have to wait.

It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say.

You only hope you can get over this soon.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet.

You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say.

You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't.

Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.

There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend.

But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.

Penny: Has he replied yet?

You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.

You: no

You: not yet

Penny: huh told you

Penny: he's a dick

You smile and shake your head.

Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.

Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas.

Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one.

Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.

Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry.

Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest.

Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message.

Tae 🐻: say something

Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅

Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease.

You: i appreciate you being honest with me

You: I'll reply properly in a while

You: just let me have a good cry first

The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

Tae 🐻: are you okay?

You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.

You let your tears flow as you cry silently.

It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant.

It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else.

What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself.

It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well.

With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view.

In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.

His love for you was shallow.

You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends?

That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through.

With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.

One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising.

You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders.

"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining.

Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.

"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."

You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"

"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."

She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug.

"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."

As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?

As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open.

It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship.

However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.

There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him.

Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.

"Y/N?"

The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit.

"The bus is here, Y/N."

Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way.

When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans.

You: I'm so sorry

You: i called you by mistake

You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily.

All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant.

The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach.

"Y/N, drinks?"

Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.

Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact.

One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung.

Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk.

The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.

"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.

The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats.

You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.

You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous.

But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.

Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive.

"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"

It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb.

"Surprisingly, no."

She hums. "Wanna talk about it?"

Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.

Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once.

When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."

You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.

"Do you plan on being friends with him?"

You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.

"I do," your reply is instantaneous.

"Don't you feel angry?"

"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?

"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."

"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?"

She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"

You nod.

She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."

—--------------------------------------------------------

You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages.

Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂

Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.

Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.

You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you

Tae 🐻: lmao

Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes

You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult.

You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to.

Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you

You: uh oh

You: go on

Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date

Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈

Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean

You very well know what he means.

Your stomach sinks in disappointment.

It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you.

Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once.

He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time.

You: nice

Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.

You: let me tell you about yesterday

You: we went back to Kate's place

You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape

You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling

You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.

Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂

A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks?

Wow.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once.

A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'.

You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite.

With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung.

One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.

There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier.

Tae 🐻: Y/N

Tae 🐻: I messed up.

The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses.

Is he okay?

You: what happened?

Tae 🐻: i messed up

Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed

You: can you stop being vague?

Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS

You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming.

Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long.

You: so?

Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan

Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs

Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her

Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing

Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters.

So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.

You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year.

However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.

He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether.

When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year.

The words make you smile.

Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.

Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.

I have never met someone like you, ever.

Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling.

You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.

Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done.

It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday.

A link to a YouTube video.

Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart.

You leave him on seen.

A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope

It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday.

That's your last straw.

It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.

Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours.

You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.

Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly.

It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through. The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that.

Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.

You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.

It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore.

You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him.

But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him.

One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love.

A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.

You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen.

But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy?

You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied.

Hello Taehyung,

I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.

When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen.

And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too.

I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself.

Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.

You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense.

It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable.

Instead of feeling the satisfaction of being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once.

After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.

You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.

When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too.

But that was it.

We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?

What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.

I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play.

I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it?

It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it.

Or so you said.

I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.

First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend.

Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage.

Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.

Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.

Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later.

These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about.

As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people.

But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.

If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible.

But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought.

When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.

But this friendship of ours has run its course.

I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both.

If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you.

Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime.

Thank you,

With Love,

The purest form.

Jeon Jungkook

His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”

“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”

Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”

It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.

Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.

“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.

For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear. But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.

“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”

“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?

“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”

You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.

You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?

Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."

"Why?"

His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."

You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day.

Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done.

"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence.

"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown.

"That can't be true."

You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you.

"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out."

Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing.

"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."

Well, that's some audacity.

In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes.

"You better shut your mouth, Jeon."

Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.

"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm

He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.

"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface.

"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"

He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?

"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find.

Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."

You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?

You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.

When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."

You don't reply, your insides fuming.

"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."

"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."

Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things.

Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.

—-----------------------------------------------------

Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for.

It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him.

You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate?

On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.

But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be.

Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.

You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry.

If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to.

If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed.

The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."

"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile.

"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat.

"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."

He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?"

"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone.

Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon.

"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence.

You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words.

"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude.

However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?"

"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.

He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry.

"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."

You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.

Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you?

You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say.

Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"

You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."

He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?

The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"

Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless.

"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."

The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.

"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."

Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."

Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips.

"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."

He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine.

"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up.

Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless.

"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."

You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way.

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."

"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."

His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that.

"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late."

He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."

You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now.

"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything."

Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights.

You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next.

There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back.

Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook.

He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.

"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way."

"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with.

You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it.

On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses.

"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."

Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him.

Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?"

"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.

Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically.

Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him.

He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself.

The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two.

You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.

You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms.

Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance.

You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling.

One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet.

That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again?

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it.

"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."

Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words.

"I'll try."

You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.

"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."

You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession.

Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods.

You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you?

"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside.

"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes.

Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings?

"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it.

But of course, he doesn't.

He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter."

"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place.

Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."

"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"

He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."

"You'll never know until you ask for it."

He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it.

"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have.

Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around.

"When does this fake relationship of yours end?"

"A month from now."

You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."

Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room.

—-----------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS LATER

"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."

Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."

"Don't test my limits."

A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."

You sigh in both astonishment and in love.

How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.

No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook.

The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook.

The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can.

The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.

That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.

That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.

Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined.

A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other.

You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible.

Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you.

"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."

You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"

"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."

As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be.

"Will you stay still if I kiss you?"

"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer."

So you do.

Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair.

When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?"

Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."

You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has.

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.

That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

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jinkookspencil · 8 months

Text

bts as musicals

simply put, bts as staged musicals i'm familiar with. a very random list and post i wrote up at 3am. it's not to be taken too seriously of course, and this is just my sleep-deprived opinion and take

namjoon - hamilton

i feel this is self explanatory for anyone familiar with both hamilton and nj

hamilton, entirely self written about a self-made man with the weight of the world on his shoulders who needed to prove himself, all while being completely in homage to rap legends through and through

HELLO????

hamilton is also a musical very centered around loss and i can really see that in joon

loss, rap, and the eternal internal struggle!!!

he'd have so much fun with it but it'd wreck him

satisfied especially

also i hate to make this point but when it comes to the hate that these two receive, sometimes it’s clear that it’s really forced hatred

seokjin - hairspray

the ladies choice amiright ladies?

obviously there’s link, the very attractive man who everyone wants

who is hopelessly in love with a plus sized beauty <3333 so jin

jin has often expressed his love of being “unserious” and we all know he can be like that mostly on camera, but he definitely has that more serious side that really is the basis for his character

isn’t that vaguely reminiscent of hairspray too though?

we often think of it as this unserious musical but it actually has more layers than one might remember, discussing prejudice, body image, individuality, self-image, integrity

i think all of those things matter a whole lot to seokjin

yoongi - les miserables

fuck the system

really, all about rebellion and revolution

but also let me break your heart a little

and let me make you remember that you’re actually living life

very similar themes across both yoongi’s solo work and les mis - injustice, class, tragedy, loss, to name a few. while also being so sympathetic towards its varied characters, reminiscent of yoongi’s sensitivity and mindset

shit think of how yoongi might react to 'i dreamed a dream'

hoseok - wicked

I think jack in the box just solidifies this as my pick for hoseok tbh

because there’s the childlike wonder side we all see and know (wizard of oz, j-hope of bts)

but then everything that surrounds it and the real story behind it (wicked, jitb)

both wicked and jitb offer a look into a “character” we think we’re familiar with, but it turns out we really aren’t

when we finally see them tell their story in their own words

elphaba struggles with her “role” and so does hobi, literally spelling it out for us in jitb

they both feel trapped, and thus reclaim and reinvent themselves

It’s a very identity-focused musical/album that still links back to prejudice in our world, too and "where they fit in"

jimin - chicago

sex

chicago is a look into fame/celebrity and corruption and ambition, and i think jimin has quite strong values when it comes to that

to me, it seems as though he finds those topics very interesting to think about

and also, how that all intersects with sexuality and gender

it feels like the crux of what chicago is as a musical but also who jimin presents himself to be

taehyung - west side story

i wanted something that’s a bit of a more classic musical for taehyung, and out of the ones i am familiar with, wss seemed the most fitting (tho i have a sneaky suspicion that one of the ones i am *not* familiar with might be more him)

taehyung is a romantic and, like nj, he almost romanticizes his losses and spends time looking back and reflecting on his own relationships and even his relationship with 'love' as a whole - layover proves it

so of course wss makes sense, the dance numbers, the longing, the risk of it all, the fact that it's story about "the power of love"

i think it'd leave quite the impact on tae, if he hasn't seen it yet

despite being a retelling of romeo & juliet (which tae would LOVE) wss also set the precedent for many musicals to come, much like tae did. looking back, it was very innovative for its time in so many different ways

musically, it's very taehyung. i could see him wanting to do covers of the songs. maria, tonight, and something's coming (he'd always go back to this song)

in every iteration of it, it's also very cinematic and very personal at the same time, which means it is very taehyung

jungkook - grease

I didn’t WANT to pick grease and feed into that stereotypical ‘bad boy jk’ idea

but like i can’t not

and it’s not so much that it is representative of who jk is as a person

except aesthetically (the dazed cover is proof)

but that i can see jungkook himself enjoying the musical numbers and poking fun at john travolta, imitating him in his dance moves

i think he’ll particularly enjoy “you’re the one that i want” and might develop some sort of ‘corruption’ fantasy of turning a good girl bad

this might be me projecting that i want jk to do to me shhhhhhh

oh and he will go through a phase of calling his car “grease lightning” and sing the song every damn time he gets in it

yeah it'd be hard as fuck to get jk to get rid of his john travolta impression

#bts headcanons #bts headcanon #bts fic #bts reaction #bts reactions #ot7 fic #ot7 reactions #ot7 scenario #ot7 #ot7 scenarios #bts ot7 #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts scenarios

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wwbtsdty · 1 year

Text

Set My Soul On Fire [5] | 18+

Rating: 18+

Genre: idol!au, smut, angst, fluff

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader

Status: Ongoing

Word Count: 4.3k

Author’s Note: Yay, I’ve reached 500 followers! In honor of that, please enjoy the next chapter of Set my Soul on Fire! Thank you!!!!

Yes lots happening in this chapter, lots that will be touched on in later chapters.

This is all fictional.

“We should stop.” You moaned, your voice sounding not the least bit convincing as Namjoon littered the tops of your breasts with soft kisses, he didn’t even bother to look up at your comment.

“We should.” He hummed, the vibration sending a shiver straight through your body. His fingers deftly pulling down one cup then the other of your bra allowing your breasts to spill out. He paused, eyes glued to your bare breasts as he let out a deep groan, thumbs grazing the underside of your breasts as he took in the site.

Your flushed under his gaze, feeling suddenly shy as he stared at your bare breasts. He quickly stopped your hands as they moved to cover yourself, “Don’t hide from me love. You’re absolutely fucking breathtaking.”

His comments only caused more blood to rush to your face as you looked away from his intimidating stare. Your last boyfriend was so long ago you could barely remember how to felt to be intimate with someone. Mel had tried to convince you to at least enjoy some one night stands, but that was never you. Sex with no feelings involved, with complete strangers... it just never appealed to you. It was hard enough to be vulnerable to someone you had feelings for, let alone a stranger.

He cupped your breasts, admiring the way you perfectly fit his large hands. Leaning down to take a pert nipple between his lips, his tongue swirling teasingly around the hardened bud before biting lightly. His hand moving to the other and beginning to lightly twist and pull on your nipple

“Namjoon!” Your fingers dug into his shoulders at the sudden jolt of pleasure. Funny, you’d always thought you just weren't sensitive when it came to your breasts, when other men had tried you ended up having to fake comments here and there like, ‘oh that feels so good’. Turns out maybe you just never had the right partner.

The dim interior of the van suddenly lit up as a phone vibrated to life nearby causing Namjoon to groan. He ignored the phone in favor of switching his attention to your other breast, sucking gently on the your nipple. His hand snaking around your waist to grab a handful of your ass, pressing you down against his growing bulge as he thrust against your core. You let out a quiet moan, he quickly responded with one of his own, grinding his hips up into you once more.

The phone rang yet again causing Namjoon to pause in his actions, removing his lips from your breasts with a pop as he laid his head against your frantically beating heart. He seemed to contemplate something before finally picking up the phone angrily, “WHAT??”

You startled at the sound of his livid voice, stilling like a deer in headlights as you watched that all too familiar jut of his chin appear. Something about him all hot and bothered sent a tingle coursing through your body turning you on even more.

“Sorry to interrupt your date, but you’re needed back at the dorm… now.” Yoongi sounded on edge about something, it had Namjoon quickly snapping back to reality.

“We’re already here, we’ll be up in a minute.” With that he hung up and threw the phone across the seat. His hand returned to your waist, massaging gently as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your neck sucking the skin into his mouth. He pulled back moments later to admire his work, a dark purple spot marring your neck now marking you as his.

He looked up at you apologetically, a mischievous look crossing his face, “Sorry love, looks like we’ll have to stop here for now.”

Your eyes widened as reality came crashing down, you practically fell off his lap in your haste to redo your bra and make yourself presentable again. Once the haze of desire had lifted you realized exactly what mortifying position you had found yourself in, breasts bare, grinding yourself down on his lap.

You can honestly say you have no idea what came over you. Blame it on the adrenaline of what had happened. You had felt so safe in his arms, then the next thing you knew you were in his lap.

Jesus Y/N, did you have any morals whatsoever. First it was Jungkook, then Taehyung and now Namjoon?! What happened to taking things slow and getting to know each other. Why couldn’t you just keep your hands to yourself.

Namjoon frowned beside you as your thoughts came crashing down, just as he was about to reach for you and comfort you, tell you this was perfectly normal, his phone rang yet again.

“We’re coming!!”

“How does this keep happening?!?” Jungkook shouting was the first sound you were greeted with as you opened the door. All the members were there, along with their manager and Mr. Bang.

Jungkook was pacing the floor as Jimin seemed to be trying and failing to calm him down, the rest of them didn’t appear to be handling whatever was going on much better.

Hobi greeted you as you entered, a fake smile plastered on his face as he threw an arm around your shoulder guiding you to sit in front of Mr. Bang.

Jungkook immediately sat in the space next to you, taking your hand to calm his racing nerves. He immediately felt calmer having you in his presence, seeing that you were safe with them where they could protect you.

“Okay, you guys are officially freaking me out.” You finally spoke up, looking around at the various expressions on their faces. You may have only know them a short while, but it was enough to know something was wrong.

“Namjoon, please take a seat.” Their manager spoke up as Mr. Bang pulled out his laptop sliding it around and opening it for us to see.

Right there plastered across some Korean site you couldn’t read, unfortunately your understanding of Korean only went as far as your soul flames, was you... smiling, laughing, oblivious to the camera’s as you walked around the museum with Namjoon. Of course you couldn’t tell it was Namjoon, wearing a hat and mask it could be anyone.

Namjoon exploded, “We just left the fucking museum! When did they post that?!” He exclaimed, jumping up from his seat as he stared down at the laptop as if he might throw it against the wall at any moment. You could practically see the anger radiating off his body.

Mr. Bang sighed, closing the laptop lid, “We aren’t sure, what we do know is someone has been doing some digging around this past month when all seemed quiet. We thought we had everything taken care of after the concert. It seemed like the story we gave was accepted and no further news had come from it--We were wrong. I’m so very sorry Y/N—,” He paused, seeming hesitant to continue, “Your name was also revealed in the article.”

The room went deathly silent.

Your fingers grasped desperately at the couch below you as the room suddenly started spinning before your very eyes. The voices around you fading away until all you could hear was your frantically beating heart.

They knew your name.

They knew your face.

“Take a breathe Y/N” Hobi shook your shoulders lightly having felt you go stiff beside him. Everyone else too busy currently having a screaming match with Mr. Bang about the situation to take notice. Their feelings so strong they had yet to feel the anxiety attack looming in their soul flame.

What if they found out where you lived... where your mom lived...

Your breathing became labored as you thought of every possible worst case scenario, your anxiety swiftly spiraling out of control.

“From the looks of the article they don’t seem to know who she was with at the museum, that's a positive. If they had been able to identify Namjoon this would be a totally different conversation.” Mr. Bang cleared his throat, trying to placate the members.

“Well great, isn't that just fucking perfect. We’re safe, but oh by the way, Y/N is now being targeted.” Jungkook spit out, glaring angrily at Mr. Bang as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Jungkook.” Namjoon having finally calmed down, placed a hand on Jungkook’s chest, his gaze willing him to settle down. “None of this is helping, let’s focus on finding a solution to the problem first.”

“Uh, guys...?” Taehyung spoke up from your feet having moved to kneel in front of you. He had finally felt your anxiety come crashing through his own thoughts, racing to your side to take in your face devoid of color.

Namjoon and Jungkook swung around at his worried voice, noticing both Taehyung and Hobi cradling either of your hands as your eyes stared sightless ahead of you.

“Shit!” Jungkook exclaimed, “Y/N!” Namjoon collapsed at your side, placing his hand on your knee as he tried to gain your attention.”Look at me Y/N..”

“Everything’s okay, everything’s going to be fine.” Jungkook spoke softly, running his fingers soothingly through your hair.

Jimin watched from behind Namjoon as they dotted lovingly on you, trying to calm down your frayed nerves. He felt compelled to touch you as well, to wipe away the tears he saw now falling down your cheeks. Instead he stood rooted in place, fists clenched at his side to keep from reaching out to you. At what point had he started to feel like an outsider? All his own insecurities rearing their ugly heads... you're fat, you’re ugly, how could anyone love you, she couldn’t love you.

Namjoon reached over oblivious to Jimin's presence behind him, placing his hand on your chest as he grabbed your hand placing it atop his own chest. “Come on Y/N.. breathe with me.”

You focused on the slow rising of Namjoon’s chest then, willing your lungs to cooperate. Taehyung’s face at your feet slowly came into view as the darkness crowding your vision started to fade.

“Good girl, that's it... we’re here love.” Namjoon’s deep voice broke through your consciousness as you happened a glance to him beside you. You hadn’t even noticed them crowding around you, trying to maintain consciousness through your spiraling anxiety attack.

Hands suddenly cupped your face, pulling your gaze from Namjoon to your other side to stare directly into Jungkook’s big doe eyes, “You scared the shit out of me.” His voice quaked as his thumbs moved to wipe the tears from your cheeks you hadn’t realized you shed.

Jungkook leaned down kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before placing a soft kiss to your lips. “Please don’t do that again.” He sighed, pressing his forehead against yours as he stared deeply into your eyes.

“No promises..” You smiled sadly as your heart broke at the fear etched in his eyes.

Your mother had always told you you'd looked like you'd seen a ghost or something during your panic attacks. You’d turn white, start shaking, sweating. The first time it had happened she took you straight to the emergency room having not known what to do.

Once you’d sufficiently calmed down they ushered you into your room and tucked you into bed insisting that you leave everything to them. You knew they didn’t want you to worry more than you already were, but a part of you felt worthless at not being able to help them devise a plan.

“We’ll fill you in on all the details later, for now just rest.. please?” Namjoon begged, running his fingers through your hair soothingly before turning to leave.

It was several hours later when you finally awoke, if the darkened skies were any indication. Your phone chimed waking you from your deep sleep. You drowsily reached for your phone to check the notifications. What you read had all the color draining from your face...

Stay the fuck away from BTS or else.

The phone slipped from your fingers falling to the floor as you sat frozen.

Suddenly the door crashed open, Jungkook barreling into the room as he felt your sudden fear. You fumbled from the bed, reaching for the phone before he had a chance to see the message.

“Whats wrong?!” He asked, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin fast on his heels as they glanced around the room for an intruder or something.

You clutched the phone to your chest, trying to silence the thoughts racing in your head so they didn’t find our about the threatening text, “Nothing! I uh--... I just had a nightmare that’s all.” You quickly made up a story to placate them, not wanting to make them anymore nervous than they already were with the situation at present.

“Oh..” Jungkook laughed, “I thought maybe you were having another panic attack.. or something.” They all visibly relaxed at the news.

“Well, now that your awake... you want to come out and we’ll fill you in on the plan going forward? Jin made some food for us earlier too, he left you a plate for when you got up.” You smiled at the prospect of food, your stomach growling in response.

Out in the living room you noticed everyone else had left at some point, leaving you and your soul flames alone once again. The members chatted animatedly amongst themselves as you filled your belly, Jungkook and Taehyung up to their usual hijinks.

Once you had finished and Jungkook cleared away the dishes, you all came to sit on the couches. “So..” Namjoon spoke up, “Obviously this situation isn’t ideal. We’re all beyond sorry that you were exposed, we all agreed we should have been more careful, made you wear a mask and hat. Going forward we will make sure you’re properly disguised. Also we will have to take bodyguards with us whenever we leave the dorm for safety. Even disguised, we don’t want to take the risk of anything happening.”

“Even though I can obviously protect you myself..” Jungkook mumbled under his breathe making you laugh.

“Yes, Yes... we know muscle bunny.” Taehyung laughed putting him in a head lock, Jungkook lightly jabbed him in the ribs causing him to release him.

“Our team has already had the article taken down, as well as any other related articles released. We’re just going to have to see if any repercussions come from it being up for the time is was. Since that article will make it extremely difficult to spend time outside together, our manager came up with the idea of spending the next week or so at our property that was built for In The Soop, give the public time to forget about everything and possibly focus on another story.”

Your eyes lit up at the prospect of spending time at the sprawling estate you had seen in the show. You had dreamt about spending time their since binge watching the second season, like any other ARMY had I’m sure. Now given the opportunity to escape reality back here you couldn’t help but jump at the chance.

“Yes!” You squealed before he even finished his sentence, everyone jumped at your enthusiastic response. Suddenly two arms wrapped around you swinging you into the air, you could tell by the tattoos it was Jungkook.

“Yay! We’re going to have so much fun! I’m gonna bring Bam, I just know your going to love him! We can go swimming, and play volleyball, and barbecue--” He rambled on as the others laughed at his antics, ever the maknae.

“Well then, it’s decided.” Namjoon clapped, “We’ll leave first thing in the morning!”

Everyone hurried back to their rooms to ready their bags, luckily you hadn’t unpacked much having just arrived a few days ago so there wasn’t much packing you had to do. Instead you sat on your bed, staring intently at the message on your phone you had momentarily forgotten about.

You chewed your bottom lip nervously, you really didn’t want to worry the members any more than they already were. It was probably nothing, right? Sure they somehow had gotten ahold of your phone number.. that didn’t mean they could find you. It was probably just an aimless threat, trying to scare you away. For once in your life you had to start standing your ground, you couldn’t let a few text messages keep you from your soul flames.

The next morning the five of you had gathered in the garage downstairs, two cars were waiting for you. You watched as numerous pieces of luggage were shoved into the trunks and back seats leaving only the front seats open. You only had one piece of luggage, what the hell were they bringing?!

“Groceries for the week, along with some other stuff to keep us occupied.” Namjoon answered making you wonder if you had spoken aloud.

“Alright, Jungkook, me and Taehyung will ride in this car.. You and Jimin can take the other car.” You froze glancing at the car where Jimin was already adjusting the drivers seat. You were going to be alone with him for the entire ride?

Out of all your Soul Flames Jimin seemed to have the most affect on you... which scared the shit out you. You weren’t sure if it was from your attraction to him even before meeting him or the fact that the man oozed sex, you constantly found yourself switching between Jungkook your bias and Jimin your bias wrecker. The flirting gazes and lingering touches when you first met him had shaken you, to the point you had found yourself avoiding contact with him since you arrived.

You felt horrible for keeping your distance, you could feel the awkwardness growing between you. You had felt his absence, no longer was there a constant sexual tension between you, instead an uncomfortable silence. You knew you had to put on your big girl panties and breech the divide you had put between you and him, at this point you weren’t sure how though.

You slid into the passenger seat as Jimin buckled his seat belt, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes, “Ready?” You nodded silently, buckling yourself in as he started the car.

Jungkook suddenly popped out from the passenger window in the car in front of you waving, “Lets Go Go Go!” he shouted, swinging his hand like they were filming Run BTS.

The drive was about as uncomfortable as you expected, so far it had been about 30 minutes and neither of you had uttered a single word. You couldn’t even use your phone for a distraction as you had lost service once you hit the mountainous area. Instead you had opted to stare out the window, taking in the countryside of Korea.

Jimin glanced over at you occasionally, fingers tapping restlessly against the steering wheel. He inwardly cursed Jungkook and Taehyung who had insisted you and Y/N share a car alone. The drive so far had only solidified what he knew to be true, you had no feelings towards him.

He sighed softly drawing your attention, “Jimin?” He froze at your sweet voice breaking the silence in the car.

“Hm?”

“Are we... okay?” You whispered, fingers fidgeting in your lap nervously as you broached the subject.

“Sure. We’re fine.” He muttered under his breathe, he hadn’t mean for it to sound the way it had, but he couldn’t take it back now. He had meant for it to be reassuring, meant for it to sound like he was fine if you had no feelings for him.

You weren’t sure what kind of response you were expecting to get from him, but his cold response had you questioning how to mend your relationship. You racked your brain trying to figure out what to say, “I mean--uhm... you’re not mad at me are you?”

He winced at the hurt lacing your voice, was he mad? No, not at Y/N.. never at her. If anything he was mad at himself, mad that he wasn’t as smart as Namjoon, as strong as Jungkook or as good looking as Taehyung. Mad that he couldn’t gain your attention he so deeply craved.

“No, I’m not mad.”

You chewed anxiously at your bottom lip, this would be so much easier if you could feel what they were feeling. Your thoughts and feelings were so jumbled at this point he probably wasn’t sure what the hell you were thinking. “Ah.. okay.” you whispered, picking at your cuticles in nervous habit. You weren’t sure what else to say at this point, he wasn’t exactly giving you a lot to go off of in terms of starting a conversation.

They continued the rest of the drive in silence, another hour passing as Jimin felt increasingly more and more frustrated. His grip tightening on the wheel to the point that his fingers were turning white. Suddenly he swung the car to the side of the road, slamming on the brakes.

You jolted forward at the sudden stop, watching the car in front of you continue onward. Your heart jumped in your chest as you swung around to face Jimin, “What happened?!” You exclaimed, watching him unbuckle his seatbelt and turn to face you as well.

His gaze was dark and intimidating as he stared quietly at you for a moment, seemingly debating something internally.

“Jimin..?” you whispered questioningly into the silence.

“Fuck it.” He growled, leaning across the close confines of the car, his hand wrapped around the back of your head bringing you close to him as he closed the gap pressing his lips roughly against your own.

You gasped against his mouth, flattening your hands against his chest as you debated whether to push him away or pull him closer.

He had to know, had to know if there was anything between you.. damn the consequences. He could live with you not loving him, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try. If there was no spark he would give up and let the other members have you. If you truly felt nothing for him he would somehow... let you go.

His lips moved sensually against yours, tilting his head to the side as he deepened the kiss. His lips felt even more heavenly than you had imagined, you gave yourself fully over to the kiss as you opened your mouth for his prying tongue.

Jimin was unapologetic in his need, fingers tangling in your hair to tighten his hold allowing him to further taste you. The power you held over him was unfathomable, you had no idea the lengths he would go for you, no idea what you did to him. Even now he could feel how incredibly hard he had become from just one kiss, all he could think about was how badly he wanted to strip you down right here and worship each and every inch of your beautiful body, screw the fact that they were on a public road.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, no doubt one of the guys wondering where the hell they had gone once they saw you weren’t behind them anymore. He groaned, managing to peel himself away from your lips to answer the phone.

“We’re fine. Don’t worry, we’re coming.” He spouted off at Taehyung, hanging up before he could even respond.

You were still in shock, fingertips resting against your now swollen lips as you stared off into the distance in thought.

Jimin cleared his throat garnering your attention, “I’m sorry.. I--I just had to see if there was anything there.” He mumbled under his breath, hoping you weren't upset with him now. He had felt you respond, you hadn’t pushed him away like he expected and was prepared for.

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you spun around to face him again, “Something there? What--I’m confused.. How could you think that?” Your voice raised sounding slightly hysteric now, that you had even made him doubt himself and your bond was enough to break you.

“I thought.. maybe you didn't have any feelings for me, that you were only interested in the others. I can see why you would fall for them, they have everything.. the looks, the brains, the bodies. I’m nothing compared to them.” He sighed deeply, his eyes falling to his lap as he was overcome with sadness.

“Park Jimin!” You quickly reprimanded him, “Don’t you dare say you’re nothing! You are so beautiful it makes me incredibly nervous every time you look at me, and the way you dance is nothing short of amazing, and your voice is angelic. But most of all you have the biggest heart...”

You could feel the color rushing to your face as you rambled on about just how amazing he was, but damned if you were going to sit here and let him hate himself, “I’m sorry if I was distant... honestly--” You bit your lip hesitant to reveal why you had shied away from him since meeting him face to face again, “If i’m being honest, you made me nervous...you’re just so--so hot. I always found myself drawn to you and it scared me, so I kept my distance. I never meant hurt you.”

Jimin tensed, that was the last thing he expected to hear, he made you nervous? He could feel all the bad thoughts leaving his body at your words as he turned back towards you, a cocky smirk lifting his lips. “Wait, you pretended you weren’t interested because I--because you were so turned on by me it scared you?”

Your eyes widened. Shit. You had practically said that just now hadn’t you?

You stammered as you struggled to come up with a response, curling back against the car door behind you as he leant forward giving chase. The car wasn’t big enough to really escape him of course, he reached out running a finger along your cheek before gripping your chin with his thumb and index finger. He smiled wide like the cat that got the canary, making you wonder what he was thinking in that mischievous brain of his.

“I hope your ready baby, because I’m not holding back anymore.”

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