#sabotage of learning

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents will talk about your childhood experiences as if you were so stupid and annoying and obtuse that of course they had to humiliate and smack you and degrade you for how stupid you were. They'll act like it was your fault you didn't know that you're supposed to prioritize adults never being interrupted or inconvenienced or annoyed by you at all times! You just HAD to have that drilled into you and if they didn't do it you'd grow up an entitled selfish brat who'd be nothing but a huge burden on society. (they still call you that regardless).

But if you go back to reality, you can acknowledge that you were put in completely impossible scenarios, that even an adult would not be able to get out of without trauma. As a child, you were experiencing everything in the world, for the first time. You needed guidance, you need someone to show you how, to explain in a way you could understand, to allow you to try things out. You were supposed to be introduced to the world by someone who cared what kind of experience you would get.

Instead, what you got is people who didn't acknowledge that you were a literal child with no knowledge of how the world, and no direction to how their selfish minds worked. All you had was your genetic wiring which instructed you to ask for attention, to ask for help, to try things out one way or another, to ask for your needs to be met, to rely on your family members to be a support to you. It's what the society was built upon, elder members teaching and protecting their young. Instead, you get these mongrels who not only fail to teach you anything, but if you ever, without any instruction or guidance, do the wrong thing, you get to be punished. You get to be a child with no sources to how to do things, how anything works, but if you try and teach yourself, since nobody else will teach you, you are put thru pure hatred. If you mess up, everyone in the world that you know suddenly is enraged with you and hates you. They're ready to hurt you for not knowing the information you were never fed, that there was never a way for you to gain access to.

And they go above and beyond to make your lack of knowledge a shameful thing for you! They sabotage your learning process because now you're not allowed to show or admit that you don't know something! You're not allowed to ask questions, to request to be taught, you'll get laughed at and called an idiot and asked 'how don't you know this, how old are you?!' and possibly punished just for your lack of experience. You'll get shamed for 'not learning by looking at their example' despite them never giving you an example to learn from!

There is no way even a full adult would know what to do in this situation! In every other scenario in life there are guides, resources, mentors, teachers, guidelines, rules of what to do and what not to do. When you start a new job you spend time being trained and being allowed to ask as many questions as you want. In any normal educative scenarios, you're allowed to ask for things to be explained to you. In real life, you're allowed to try and fail something hundreds of times only to figure it out and get it right, with NO punishment!

So why is it that you, as a child, who had no way of knowing ANYTHING, least of all how cruel and selfish your caretakers are, had to get shamed for not knowing things in advance? Punished for making noise, for trying to learn, for accidentally annoying people who were supposed to be obliged to help you go thru this process?

And it's devastating to grow up like that! Since young age, constantly hyper-aware that if any problem rises up, it will be your problem and yours alone, nobody will help you figure it out. Not even when you sink into panic, not even when you don't know what to do and in your child head, the thing is a disaster which will cost you everything, not even if you're feeling dread and lack of hope for week, nobody will come and explain the realistic way to solve this problem and comfort you and tell you that you did nothing wrong. Instead, you learn that anything you do could potentially have catastrophic consequences if it accidentally annoys your caretakers, and instead of learning, growing, having fun, making friends, living care-free and normal life, your entire focus has to be on not accidentally annoying these people. You have to hide, learn to never cause any issues, never to have any visible problems, to cry silently, to not ask for anything, to try and figure out day after day, what would make these people hate you less, what would make you a less of a burden on them.

And then, these assholes can go and laugh at how 'stupid' you were as a kid. They can joke about how they 'had to punish you' so you would learn.

You were not stupid. You were alone. You took the overwhelming task of raising yourself because nobody else would. You didn't fail. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never warranted to punish you. You taught yourself how to live when nobody else would even look at you. You had to figure out friendships, relationships, education, parental relations, and on top of it, how to stay alive, how to not have any problems, how not to irritate anyone, how to never be visible or needing anything, or god forbid, making problems for anyone else, all by yourself. When you were just a child. You had no guidance, no protection, no caretakers. You probably got into so much trouble that would have been completely avoided if only one person cared enough to sit you down and have a conversation with you and showed you that they care, explained to you how things work. Who would have told you that you were a good kid and that trying and failing is how all of us learn.

There is nothing funny about the neglect they put you thru. There's nothing funny about torturing a child who never received care or attention. You were not supposed to grow up surrounded by people who felt nothing but contempt for you. You did not deserve to grow up without love.

#abusive parents #toxic parents #child abuse #abusive caretakers #growing up alone #child neglect #growing up neglected #sabotage of learning #toxic shame #enforcing shame on children for not being all knowing #enforcing punishment on children for things adults are not punished for #traumatic childhood #neglected childhood #psychological abuse #abuse denial #abuse excuses #promoting abuse as 'teaching tool' #traumatizing childhood

[qqueenofhades]

Normally, this whole "the entire Republican Party from Trump on down is now a willing Russian asset/actively working to regurgitate Russian disinformation to hurt Biden" thing would be a huge scandal. However, because we live in the worst timeline, I expect it will get 3-4 days of coverage max, the media will largely shrug and give the GOP a pass, and go back to writing 248402935 concern-trolling pieces about Biden's age.

#hilary for ts #politics for ts #like i cannot emphasize enough how this is NOT NORMAL #and yet the media has collectively decided it will give the republicans a pass for everything and work on sabotaging biden #because it isn't that they learned nothing from 2016 #it is that they learned exactly how to sabotage the democrat and they're doing their best to run it again #BUT HIS AGEEEEE is the new BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS #i repeat: 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[cerealboxlore]

Captain Marvel (Shazam) and the Justice League Funny Idea

So

Y'all know the hit show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, right? And how they have a thing called a "Halloween Heist" episode that happens every season or so, right?

Good. Because that's all I know from the show. Anyway! Seeing clips on YouTube about it got me thinking

What if the Justice League did something similar? Just for fun in their down time while they're not out saving the world or helping little old ladies cross the street. Maybe some members would do it. But what would be a good incentive or prize to motivate them to play?

How about each member pools in what they could give as a prize?

Superman promises to gift fresh baked cookies by his mom

Black Canary promises doing their share of monitor duty

Other members promise other cool things, favors, etc. A good chunk of members are interested in playing, but not all. Batman still refuses to play, calling it childish

But

When it's Captain Marvel's turn to state what he's offering on the table for the winner, everyone's heads turn and can't believe what they just heard. Captain Marvel promised that he would reveal his secret identity to whoever wins.

Everyone is in an uproar and signing up to play. Batman included. He even gets his batfam to join the game. A lot of other members, too, are getting their sidekicks, friends and prodigies into the game.

Captain Marvel, the most extroverted and yet most private member of the league has never offered any information of his private life in the past four years he's been on the team, and now there's finally a chance to learn more about him

THROUGH A GAME?!?!

The Watchtower rioted that night and Captain Marvel began to regret his decision...

#billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #justice league #brooklyn nine nine #I'm just having some thoughts #But I would love to write this #This sound like so much fun #fanfiction #Imagine Batman getting his batfam to sabotage the other League members so he can learn who Captain Marvel really is

[frogayyyy]

after a time you may find that

having

is not so pleasing a thing after all as

wanting

#my favourite self sabotaging repressed masochist 🥰 #there's another side to this quote where post tmp spock learns that sometimes having IS better than wanting

[i-wish-i-were-softer]

Imagine if Griffin recruited Ramy. They'd either throw hands every time they met or they'd take over the tower without anyone else's approval, setting half the Oxford on fire in the process. Either way it'd be a total disaster.

#both are both so blatant.. either their personalities would crash or they'd be a total menace #i need to know what Griffin thought of Ramy when ramy said “why aren't we putting all our efforts into sabotage?” #was he like why isn't my softie brother learning anything from him XD #babel rf kuang #babel an arcane history #griffin lovell #ramiz rafi mirza #robin swift

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

"Song Lan... I- I can't see." finally snapped; im making a pacrim au, lets fucking go

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #xiao xingchen #song lan #songxiao #the untamed #cql #my art (??) #okay so i have a lot of stuff i wanna draw for this au aye i love it so much #i am so deeply into my mech phase (yet again) right now and just cannot be stopped #i learned the basics of how to draw a gundam and now im convinced im good at it or something aye #but anyway; the lore for this part of the story is basically that the mech was sabotaged by xy #with the intention of blinding sl and during the drift he was and the mech was blind too and thats how they got to injured #but the mech sort of threw them out of the drift and they thought they were okay in the end but xxc's vision goes black a little later #(the mech didnt throw them out; xxc tried to save sl by forcing him out (dangerous!!!) and taking the injuries of the mech onto himself) #basically xy tried to blind sl (and did temporarily) but ended up blinding xxc instead #mech au

[thevirgodoll]

you should never fight someone for their healing. it has to be a decision from within. sometimes one must reap to have an epiphany.

as much as you want to help save a person from themselves, you’re only prolonging their healing process further. you're encouraging self sabotage not only for them, but for yourself.

you have to stay in your lane. just as you found your own way to your destination, you have to allow others to do the same.

healing doesn't involve telling others how to heal, but showing others by example what the other side can look like. they have to make their choices on their own.

you are a catalyst for change by changing yourself. stop trying to control everyone around you. rest.

#we all have to learn this #not sure why people feel like healing means they must control every person that isnt where they are at #i blame toxic positivity culture as well as the stigma of allowing yourself to FEEL #society doesnt really give us a chance to just “be” so #allowing someone else to be their own sabotaging person is hard #but we all gotta pay the piper #thoughts

[frommyfavoritebooks]

what inner peace really is: the understanding that no matter what is happening around you, there is a place of total knowing and calmness within you.

- the mountain is you, brianna weist

#the mountain is you #brianna wiest #peace #inner peace #calm #calming #self sabotage #mastering #growth #growing #grow #learn #learning #self development

[michaelbogild]

Failures are indications of what not to do, not commandments to stop trying.

Do not allow your interfering ego to turn mistakes into sabotaging affirmations about your character. The road to success is always a rough one...even for people you think are far smarter than you. 

The fact that you failed at a thing does not mean you’re a failure as a person — that’s an astronomical stretch and a crushing overstatement — no It means you need some more time, some more attempts, some more knowledge, some more discipline, some more help...and that’s all. 

Consider it from a far more technical and less psychological point of view, or in other words, make it less about you and more about the process.

#failure #mistakes #mistake #failures #learning #education #self-sabotage #self sabotage #self talk #affirmations #ego #the ego #spiritual #spirituality #succes #motivating #inspiring thoughts #motivating myself

[i-am-having-a-moment-here]

Crowley thought it would be hilarious to tell Aziraphale about Dracula Daily and watch him make a fuss about such a horrible lack of respect for a book. It turned out Aziraphale wasn't outraged, but curious about this new way to experience a well-known novel. He used his irresistible power of persuasion until Crowley signed up for him and now the demon has to reluctantly check his phone every day and let him know if there are any news about his good friend Jonathan Harker.

#needless to say there's a perfectly functional first edition available in the bookshop #but it wouldn't be the same you know #yes I'm having a blast following Dracula Daily #wait till Aziraphale learns about the memes #Crowley's never thwarted himself so bad #headcanons #Aziraphale #Crowley #ineffable husbands #self sabotage #Dracula Daily #my stuff

[missingexaltation]

(Mini little fic idea, post Vecna)

Eddie wanted Steve and Wayne to get on, and at first, he was utterly ecstatic when they did.

But Steve starts to come over to watch various sports games, laughing and jostling with Wayne on the couch whenever one of their teams wins a point, or scores a goal or whatever, Eddie starts feeling inadequate and useless.

He watches from a distance, too wary to approach, too scared of upsetting the equilibrium. After all he's spent years rolling his eyes and grumbling about football and baseball and basketball to take a seat next to them now. He's more than made his bed now, years of sulky teenagehood in the making. It's not their fault, he knows. It's all his own, a drama of his own creation.

He watches as Wayne laughs and jokes, haphazardly waving his beer and cackling with delight, with the sort of son that he deserves. A son that brings calmness and stability instead of late night police escorts and a mountain of medical bills.

The empty, cavernous hole in his chest aches as he sits there (pretending to work on his campaign), through game after game, match after match. Wayne had given up so much for him. He could have had a family of his own, instead of raising his brother's useless, wretched kid. He could have gotten married, had a real home and an easy life. A beautiful, doting wife to give him the world.

Instead, Wayne had been cursed with a fuck up for a nephew, a shitty fold up bed in a shitty trailer and a job that was ageing him before his time. A vexing, frustration of a life that he didn't deserve. That Eddie had made worse by default.

Eddie knew he was selfish, and loud, and easily excitable and distracted. That he was used to getting his own way in these walls, barely noticing and sacrificing a thing while Wayne quietly suffered instead. It had been the same for his parents. They'd wanted a normal kid too, but even his dad's temper hadn't been enough to dampen his ability to irritate.

He'd tried to be quieter for Wayne in the past. Better behaved, his personality crammed into a tiny internal box to make himself more palatable, easier to love and want around. But Wayne had been offended by it. Claimed Eddie shouldn't have to change himself for anyone, not even his guardian, to be honest with who he is.

But looking over at them now, Eddie felt like he should have tried harder. Sure, 'being himself' was the fucking care bear motto spat out by well meaning adults trying to convince the weird kids they'd be ok. But he could have tried harder not to be so difficult, he could have watched Wayne's sports games with him and graduated high school and handed over his earnings instead of buying dumb shit.

The gnawing, desolate guilt consumed him. Steve was sweet, charming and polite, a parents dream (also...absolutely fucking gorgeous and the best sex Eddie had ever had, but that was besides the point). He could understand why Wayne has found it easy to befriend him, hell Eddie unquestionably loved the bones of him, but it put in sharp relief how Eddie just didn't measure up to the barest minimum standard, let alone what his uncle deserved.

So instead, he started taking on extra shifts at work, pulling as many as he could so that he could try and convince Wayne to drop his hours and start taking it easy. He kept the house tidy and even helped nurture the blossoming little something that was growing between Wayne and Claudia, spending more nights with Steve so that they could canoodle out of sight of Dustin's sullen glares.

He was exhausted, but it was worth it to see Wayne less on edge, back on the day shift since Eddie was finally picking up the slack. Now he had time for 'guy nights' with Steve, expanding to include Sinclair and the newly resurrected Chief Hop too.

"You're a good kid, Ed." Wayne told him one evening, and despite everything, Eddie was unprepared for the avalanche of emotions that it unlocked.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

His brain chanted, automatically.

But I want to be.

#eddie munson #wayne munson #steddie #Wayne Munson/Claudia Henderson #munderson #? #Wadia? Clayne? #Eddie wanting his two favourite people to bond and then using it to self sabotage under his own insecurities #because what's more important? self expression or family? #inside he's an insecure little boy that thinks he's gotta be good to be loved...and he's starting to get scared he's not good enough #especially after the Vecna stuff...he feels like he has to make up for it all #(of course this all comes crumbling down when Wayne calls him out for being 'normal' but that's another story) #i wish we'd got more of the tiny little Munson family...just one scene where they interacted 😭 #i kind of think they're a little bit dependent on each other...a solid family of two learning to add more people in #stranger things ficlet #unbeta'd we die like season 4 vol. 2's canon on this hellsite #(basically Eddie is not used to sharing Wayne and it unlocks The Fear in him)

[justmenoworries]

If I have one wish for Hazbin season 2 it's please, please let Charlie go apeshit and just absolutely destroy someone.

Season 1's been teasing us with how powerful Charlie is and how much potential she has only to basically nerf her into the ground for the final battle so Lucifer could be all badass and shit.

Alastor's been allowed to go berserk so many times in season one and he's canonically weaker than the Morningstar family so can we let Charlie have the spotlight now?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel season 2 #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #justme rambling #since the vees are gonna be the main antagonists for s2 maybe have charlie finally get fed up with them? #she's already seen what val does to her angel dust on a daily basis #and vox and velvette are actively supporting that shit and sabotaging the hotel just for their own gain #and neither of these three seem like they're interested in redemption #that one leak of the s2 script even has vox use his hypnotism to keep the citizens of hell from listening to charlie's speech #maybe have that be the point where charlie goes “oh you wanna go bitch? you wanna go?” #and then we learn why it's maybe not a good idea to constantly provoke and undermine the third most powerful being in all of hell #pls I just want my girl to have her moment

[captain-amadeus]

"They placed so much pressure on Sofia to learn how to waltz" Roland isn't good at waltz either. he would not mind if Sofia sucked as much as him.

#he says sorry for stepping on toe btw #this is why we rewatch stf #roland couldn't of prepared sofia for the ball because he's a horrible dancer #do not blame him for not teaching sofia what he cannot do #otherwise make cedric teach sofia how to deadlift #make him break his spine #also it was amber who was sabotaging sofia's lessons that hindered her #she was doing so well in her dance lessons before the trick shoes #even if sofia didn't learn how to waltz after a week she and roland would suck together #they would be dogshit out on the ball floor #but they would be dogshit together #real dads are dogshit dancers with their daughters #stf #sofia the first #sofia the fandom #king roland ii #roland stf #captain txt #all /lh btw #just explodes you with cool roland fact

[hyperfixation-hideout]

My favorite canon RWBY slowburn is Oscar x Confidence

#took him awhile but he got there #oscar pine #rwby #quinpost #atlas oscar my beloved #v7 really pushed him to start speaking/standing up for himself and his opinions #and then in v8 when it all comes to fruition and he stops second guessing himself so much? #CHEF'S FJCKING KISS BABY #LOOK AT THE BOY GO #standing up to Ironwood 4 times in v7 and voicing dissent against ruby's decision? #(not to mention the 3rd time was in front of the ENTIRE ATLAS COUNCIL) #getting ruby AND unintentionally ozpin to reconsider their secrecy? #emboldening oz to come back and stay back this time after learning from Oscar a new kind of bravery & wisdom? #standing out against Ruby AGAIN but this time in front of all the others to say they're still united even when apart? #(cough v9 foreshadowing? perchance?) #sassing SALEM?? #taking the lead and asserting authority over ozpin? being in charge of their actions? #(side note bravo to oz for learning how to step back and trust oscar's judgment after seeing how he handles things) #not letting oz take over/try to escape bc 'this is our chance' & plotting sabotage against salem instead of running?? #freakin taking the risk of TELLING HAZEL THE PASSWORD BC HE KNOWS HE WON'T LISTEN TO OZ??? #TURNING HAZEL & EMERALD AND HELPING EM ESCAPE? #advocating for emerald SEVERAL TIMES even when she & the others pushed back? Getting her to join them?? #same with reintegrating ozpin despite pushback?? #fostering unity and cooperation btwn those who feel like opposition? Stopping yang/jaune/weiss from attacking emerald? #the way he was in the tunnels and the dining room was like 'oh dang oscar could be a great leader actually?' #and not just cause of merging - his leadership style is vastly different from ozpin's but carries a similar gravitas #this bit may be bc of the merge but he has such a PRESENCE now. when he talks you want to listen. #the others are taking him seriously. following his advice. valuing his input. listening to him. #all the things they never used to do. maybe bc they bonded but at least in part bc of his demeanor & newfound confidence. #he's developed this air of quiet authority even when not in charge. likely due to oz but it's unique in key ways and I'm so proud of our boy

[brittlebutch]

idk if i can fully articulate this but i find it like, Interesting how often people seem to flinch away from the notion of a character having a genuine difficulty in academic settings that is caused by Intellect — how often people will seemingly try to get around the idea by writing something that amounts to, like “No this character is Smart, they just struggle with XYZ and if they were Accommodated for that, then they wouldn’t struggle in school” but it’s like,, why do they Have to be ‘smart’ though?

#N posts stuff #do you know what i mean? am i pulling out of a biased sample selection here? it’s possible #i’ll admit i’m largely talking about like. fanworks #reading a lot of ST fic right now and I’m talking largely about Eddie but it applies to Steve too #where I’ve seen a lot of explanations ranging from like. Dyslexia to Deliberate Self Sabotage but #no one seems willing to confront a ‘they just Genuinely Can’t Get It’ reading of the characters #it’s Always a ‘No they’re Really Smart BUT’ thing #like people are anywhere from reluctant to afraid to admit that some people Aren’t like that #note that i’m speaking generally in terms of academic settings which like. are a specific kind of environment that like. #doesn’t generally Do a good job of being actually indicative of how ‘smart’ a person is (just like IQ tests) #but the point still stands that - in essence - people are seemingly Very uncomfortable with the notion of intellectual disability #in any capacity — even in comparison to learning or developmental disabilities #like just look at how many people will Insist on bringing up the percentage of autistics with ‘higher than average’ IQ #with little to no provocation just in an effort to distance themselves from ‘those’ autistics

[sakura-hayashii]

02.29.24 - 8:27 pm

her to her friends:

“and so he left. i watched him walk away. he didnt say goodbye, he didnt even look back, he just simply walked away. but what scares me the most, was how easy it was for him to walk away from me. and now im doubting everything, wondering if his love for me was ever real.”

his friends to him:

“she loved you and you knew that. she was everything you would ever need, being with her was the wish of so many other guys. we know you loved her too, but we think that a love as strong as hers scared the fuck out of you. so you did what most would do when they got scared, you ran away. but you chose to run instead of facing your fears– instead of finding out if what you feared most was even real, or if it was even something worth being scared of. thats how you lost her.”

- S.H. // things ive never said #18 (via 2amthoughts)

#things ive never said #2amthoughts #personal thoughts #love #unrequited love #mental health #heartbreak #heartache #moving forward #healing #learning #unsent messages #unspoken #self sabotage #speak up #spilled ink #writing #writers on tumblr #original post #words #original #literature #tumblr #aesthetic #poets on tumblr #I wrote this #for you #sakura #sakura hayashi #hayashi