#the gray American paint is so adorable

[cryptidcr3ature]

“If the Arabians have the best stats, why would you get another horse?”

BECAUSE I LIKE THE CUTE ONES!!! YOU DONT GET A VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE FOR THE SAME REASON YOU GET A FERRARI!!!!

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption #rdr 2 #arthur morgan #van der linde gang #i like the colors #sure I like the fast boys but also I like spotty horses #the gray American paint is so adorable

[seething-fire]

How I think the Sanders Sides would look if they were real

Warnings: mentions of weapons, but only as tattoos 

Logan: 

Tall boi, like 6’2 (187 cm)

He’s pretty pale, like could get a sunburn anytime, anywhere, kind of pale

His hair is naturally curly and blond, but he colors it brown because he got tired of all the blond jokes 

I don’t really know how to describe the length, but all of it covers his ears, but doesn’t quite hit his jaw

He has acne scars on his cheeks and along his jawline 

When he has more than two days off, he lets his beard grow (but not because he’s ashamed of his scars, he just likes having a beard) 

Some freckles around his nose 

DIMPLES

Stocky

He doesn’t lift weights, but he’s just a solid guy, ya know? 

Has been asked if he’s a football (American football) player because of his build 

Light blue eyes

Only wears square glasses 

Immediately puts on some kind of woven bracelet when he gets home 

When he’s not at work or school, he wears those gray sweatpants you know what I’m talking about 

Only has about a million shirts with science and space puns on them 

Has a pair of fluffy slippers that he loves 

Patton:

He’s just a bit shorter than Logan and Virgil, so he’s 5’9 (175 cm) 

His skin is gorgeous, a rich tawny shade

Dark wavy hair that almost reaches his shoulders

He’s kind of lanky; he’s thin and has long legs 

Brown eyes (He likes to describe them as a “cocoa” shade because of his love for chocolate lol) 

Has faint smile lines because he smiles so much 

Has a slit in one of his eyebrows (not on purpose; gardening accident)

Likes to wear glasses in fun shapes or circles 

When he’s at home by himself, he’s sporting the cat hoodie and boxers we all know this man doesn't wear pants if not necessary 

He also loves socks with cute designs, so whenever he’s with his friends, he shows them off

Loves rings, especially ones that have hearts, or some other kind of shape/pattern 

Paints his nails a new color every week 

Tiny pride flag tattooed on his thigh

Enjoys experimenting with makeup, so he wears eyeshadow and lipstick sometimes

Roman: 

He’s 5’7 (170 cm) 

His skin is a warm sepia

His hair is pretty short, but long enough to make a quiff (yes, that’s how he wears his hair)

Currently it’s the natural color, but before he cut it, it was blue 

As far as his body goes, he’s muscular 

He could be considered ripped

Wears smaller shirts than he needs to so he can show off his muscles (think Steve Rogers)

Deep brown eyes

He has a small scar on his right cheek (He’s learning to love it)

*Loves* tattoos, so he has a few small ones 

There’s a sword behind his ear

A crown on his shoulder 

A rose on the inside of his right wrist 

And a Disney quote along his left forearm 

He thinks of himself as a art museum and those are his tiny pieces of art

He lounges around the house in a muscle tank and athletic shorts 

Paints his nails with Patton 

Virgil: 

Another tall boi; he’s 6’1 (185 cm) 

He has dark brown skin 

Bright purple fade, and you cannot change my mind (he loved the purple hair on Thomas)

The top is a bit long and very curly (He has 4C curls)

Hazel eyes 

He’s chubby and has a cute belly 

He’s got a little bit of extra fat on the sides of his lower rib cage, so when he’s home alone, he goes shirtless so he can see it all 

He really adores the way piercings look, so he has a couple 

A bar in one of his ears

An eyebrow piercing 

And a lip ring 

He also likes tattoos He and Roman may or may not get theirs done together 

But Virgil is covered in them 

He’s got some music related ones (you know one of them has to do with MCR) 

A few small skulls here and there, spider webs on the skin in between his fingers 

Things that symbolize mental health struggles 

Jack Skellington ;) 

And just a few random ones (a very small goldfish on his ankle) 

He just wears boxers when he’s by himself so he can see all the art all over his body 

But when there are other people around, he wears band t shirts and pajama bottoms 

Janus: 

Short king; 5’6 (167 cm) 

His skin can be described as terra cotta, almost 

Long, dark hair

He puts in a bun when he wears his hat

Has a similar build to Logan, but he’s shorter, so it looks different on him 

His shoulders are broad, and his legs are on the shorter side 

Has been described as “solid”

His eyes are a stunning deep deep brown 

Also has dimples 

May or may not have acrylics 

He likes to get snakes painted on them 

Permanent dark circles under his eyes 

Tongue piercing 

We know he can ROCK a skirt, so he wears them a lot

But when he’s by himself, he wears a fluffy white robe, no matter the weather 

Because of the aesthetic, obviously 

He also saves his money for designer jewelry, so over the years, he’s slowly acquired a nice collection of expensive stuff that he wears all the time 

Remus:

Somehow much taller than Roman; 6’0 (182 cm)

Like his brother, he has the same beautiful skin tone

He has a curly mullet (his hair is naturally straight, but he got a perm) 

It’s shaved on the sides 

Has two slits in both eyebrows 

And dark brown eyes like his twin  

He’s the thinnest out of everyone

Has a couple face tattoos and piercings 

Septum piercing, snake bites, eyebrow piercing 

A tiny garbage can tattoo on his temple 

“pull the lever” across his jawline (yes, it’s an Emperor’s New Groove reference)

He also thought it sounded metal as hell

A dagger on his neck 

And a small “x” under his eye 

Always wearing eyeliner and black nail polish 

Wears punk clothes 

Even in his down time 

Chains, patches, safety pins, diy clothes, all of it 

HUGE platform boots 

Still hasn’t taken his hospital bracelet off since the last time he was there 

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #ts logan #ts patton #ts roman #ts virgil #ts janus #ts remus #sanders sides headcanon #thomas sanders sanders sides #tss headcanon

[photog-crafty]

Memes and vitriol over the original Faction persisted well after its release, so perhaps sarcastically, the Faction Custom Donk was added to the game, a vehicle which was positively guaranteed not to get hung up on curbs. It incorporated many of the mods from the earlier Faction Custom while also tipping its hat to a famous part of car culture often neglected in video games, and with a little creativity, it could represent an even more niche segment: mud boggers. Instead of the backstreets, I threw some fat tires on my Donk and took it cruising around the mouth of the Zancudo River. Paradoxically, it even offered an experience similar to an actual 4x4 because raising and lowering the hydraulics would alter its gear ratios and grip akin to shifting between 4-hi and 4-lo. Appearances can be deceiving, and the Donk was certainly deserving of its chrome.

One of the Everon's parents must have been a monster truck, because this arctic Hilux clone certainly behaved like one. It crawled over absolutely everything, and it was shockingly fast on the roads, able to bring its trusty coolers full of booze to anywhere on the map in a matter of seconds. It used to be painted in that flat gray that was all the rage on Tacomas until I threw F1s and low grips on it for kicks, at which point it needed to look a little more flashy and I was able to brew up that sweet flag on the roof by color-matching the livery with true black crew paint. This truck was really good at turning heads, especially those of its whiplash-prone passengers.

The Imani Tech vehicles were another attempt at curbing the menace of the memebike, and one of the vehicles selected for a makeover was the humble Granger, in the form of the Granger 3600LX. While many players adored these vehicles for their missile jamming capabilities, they also had another trick up their sleeve in the form of a remote control unit, allowing you to drive your vehicle from across the map in complete secrecy. This made the Granger 3600LX ideal for covert counterattacks, as when it was modified very modestly like this model, it wouldn't attract attention and could blend into traffic effortlessly. Over and over, griefers would drive right past it as it was seemingly waiting at a stoplight, only to get run down while running for their next toy. Then they'd pull out their rocket launcher and bounce rockets off of its armor, or pull out their minigun and realize at the last second that there was no driver to shoot. Isn't technology grand?

Unlike the Oppressor Mk II, the original Oppressor came to be a widely beloved vehicle. It got a lot of hate when it first released for being difficult to hit, but it was balanced by having a steep learning curve and later got its wings clipped by the Stromberg. Once its malignant successor and other overpowered vehicles were released, the griefer crowd moved away from the Oppressor entirely and it was able to begin its real career as the flying stunt bike it was always meant to be. We all loved to try and make it up Maze Bank, glide from Chiliad, airdrop it from the Avenger, and tear around urban airspace with it, but randoms would always see the bike icon and assume you were looking for a fight or trying to grief cargo, and then everyone would get dragged into a brawl. Life was much better once the Oppressor finally joined the Deluxo as a comfy vehicle.

The Gauntlet Hellfire was a perfect recreation of the Dodge Challenger and encapsulated everything about what made the Chally so great. It was big, it was fat, it was loud, it was fast but not the fastest, and it didn't care, because it had style. It was a true American muscle car and one of the last of a dying breed. This one was my main, out of the two Hellfires I had, and I left the crazy styling to my red drifter while doing this one up to look like an R/T Scat Pack in Plum Crazy. Someday I hope to own a Challenger like it in real life, but until then, at least the Hellfire was there for me.

My search for a fun, fast, and comfy convertible came to an end with the Comet S2 Cabrio. For reasons undefined, this coupe was much faster than its hardtop variant, and MR layout meant that it lived to be thrown around corners. It even had one of those cool active spoilers that popped up once it got up to speed. This beauty needed to be treated with respect, so I gave it my best shot at Porsche's OEM Ultraviolet color and tried to keep the mods as clean as possible.

I felt like a lot of people slept on the Stratum. It wasn't the fastest thing around, and nearly all of its mods were locked to the car when you got it, but it also had extremely forgiving handling as well as RWD-biased AWD, so it knew how to have a little fun and it was deceptively sure-footed on the dirt. It was basically a budget Sultan and it's great for a street car. The 40/60 AWD made it a perfect candidate for low grip tires and it drove like an absolute dream with them, capable of ripping long drifts before snapping back into control on demand. While it was under the glitch knife, it was also given the lip, spoiler, badges, and rack, along with a set of F1s and some vivid paint to really press that over-the-top '90s style. It just goes to show that not all of the game's street cars are worthless filler.

Life Protip: If you are ever lost in the desert and dying of dehydration, call up your Scramjet and launch it into the air to find the nearest body of water. This thing would introduce you to pools in neighborhoods you didn't even know existed. When it wasn't being a four-wheeled divining rod, though, this car was awesome. Once you know how to cancel boosting and manipulate all three axes, you could do all sorts of crazy tricks. The missiles are almost a complete afterthought, though they did come in handy if you felt like taking down a memebike by pretending to be the Demon Lord of the Round Table.

The Nero struck me as a very comfortable car. I knew they were all just video game polygons, but it just looked so plush, like you could win a race with it and then take a nap in it. That level comfort and accessibility without sacrificing speed was something I appreciated about Bugattis in general. The hardcore drivers all went for the Benny's custom because it had marginally better stats, but I was happy just chilling with my cloud car and its cool spoiler. Even its name gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, as it reminded me of a certain computer program that I alluded to with a CDBURNER license plate.

My first Hakuchou was a legend in its own right, but this one made me feel like I had been visited by an angel. When glitches to put low grip tires on all vehicles came out, my instinctual reaction was to test them on motorcycles. Some were definitely better than others, but the low grip Hakuchou stood head and shoulders above every single one. Due to a quirk in how the game engine handled bike traction, it didn't peel out or slide, but rather developed a much heavier feeling when steering and a much, much lower gear ratio. So, while it took a second to get going, it became bar none the fastest land vehicle in the game while remaining remarkably smooth and deliberate. Other bikes like the Reever and Gargoyle could hang with it, but they bounced like jumping beans in the process, while this new Hakuchou could easily reach 170+ MPH on demand while staying just as composed as it was when doing the speed limit. It immediately became my primary vehicle and I was absolutely enamored. The fact that such a hidden gem, known to maybe a dozen people, was buried in this plain old motorcycle from 2014 made it feel like an "ace custom" from some old anime or video game, like Char's personal Zaku. I rode this motorcycle day and night until it was pried from my hands by the devs when they officially released low grip tires for every vehicle and quietly nerfed the speed boost gained from them, calling this angel back to the heavens for good.

[nancypullen]

It’s DERBY DAY!!!

Late last night I baked a few cupcakes so that the little miss and I could decorate them this morning.  The cupcake liners are red roses (run for the roses) and the decor speaks for itself.  Here’s hoping that they taste better than they look.

After breakfast I started a pork butt in the slow cooker so that we can have a Derby dinner of pulled pork.  I’m throwing together a broccoli salad and a couple of other things, keeping it simple so I can sit down and enjoy the race.  Crossing my fingers that my gray horse wins.  I never bet enough to get rich, but if Tapit Trice wins I will be placing a healthy Sephora order.  Wrinkle cream ain’t cheap.  It also ain’t working, but that’s a story for another day. Around 10 o’clock we ladies went to Easton to paint pottery.  Before departing Tennessee a dear pal gave me a gift certificate to Kiln Born Creations.  Painting pottery and chatting was a favorite past time of ours in Mt. Juliet and her card said to use the gift to create special memories with the grandgirl.  I didn’t intend to wait this long to use it, but between Covid, kidney stones, her 4 year old attention span, etc we did end up waiting.  I’m so glad we did.  Today Little Miss Magic and I painted a fairy house for her garden.  She believes in fairies with all her heart and is convinced she’ll have tenants.  I’m going to have to order some tiny shoes or items of clothing to drop inside from time to time. She’ll know they’ve been there.

Once it’s fired those colors will become brilliant and glossy. I think any fairy would be happy to live there.  

Can we take a moment to appreciate that adorable dress?

That little Peter Pan collar and the blue waist sash - swoon!  My sister made that dress for her daughter twenty plus years ago.  She has gifted me with dresses, a kuspuk (also handmade), dance recital outfits, scads of American Girl dolls, clothes, and equipment, and books.  Aunt Cathi is an absolute celebrity in my grandgirl’s eyes.  When we see a car that even slightly resembles hers, she’ll sigh and say, “I wish that was Aunt Cathi coming to visit.”  She’s a fan. Me too.

Right now I’m actually home alone. The gang went off to an animal festival sponsored by Caroline County’s Humane Society. There’s supposed to be live music, food trucks, alpacas and other interesting animals, fun booths for kids, dogs doing tricks and chasing lures, and lots more. I declared that they should go on without me because I still had some meal prep to do, which I truly did need to do if I intend to enjoy the Kentucky Derby.  That didn’t take long and now I’m tapping away on the ol’ blog and talking to you.  I may have gotten the better end of the deal.  I hope they come home with an alpaca.  We can add it to the squirrel that is currently residing in our garage and refusing to leave. I’m not sure when he got trapped in there, but he tore up the blinds at one window trying to get out.  Mickey cracked the big garage door, but apparently Steve the Squirrel has gotten pretty comfy where we store the bird seed.  He was heading toward the door at one point and Mickey raised it which spoked him and he ran back into the shelving. When we came home from Easton and painting pottery I was assured that Steve has gone.  I don’t think I believe it.  I don’t want to go into the garage to grab gardening stuff or spray paint something and end up with a squirrel in my hair.  It doesn’t do any good to demand that he show himself, he won’t do it.  I asked Mickey why he thinks the squirrel is gone and he said (and I quote), “Because I saw one that looked just like him run across the street.”  This man can’t tell the difference between Ann Margaret and Lucille Ball (”Well, they both have red hair.”) but expects me to believe he can ID a squirrel at twenty yards.  Steve is probably behind the shelves raising a family right now. But I can’t think about that right now.  I’ve got DERBY plans. The more I do now, the more likely I’ll be able to watch the most exciting two minutes in sports.  I’m going to tune in early to ooh and ahh over the hats, listen to the crowd sing My Old Kentucky Home, and get chills when I hear  the “Riders up!” call.  I love it all. Even if I’m not a winner today (Forte is still the favorite), I’m having a ball. Hope your Saturday is relaxing and that you have as much fun as you’d like.  That may mean a big outing or an afternoon nap.  Your call. Sending out love, grab some if you need it. Stay safe, stay well, RIDERS UP! XOXO - Nancy

[candied-marlboro]

books! books! books!

reading is one of the things I really enjoy. so here’s a list of some books I personally adore. hope it’ll be useful for someone! 

novels with mental disorders theme

“The Bell Jar” Sylvia Plath

“Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov

“Veronika Decides to Die” Paulo Coelho

“She's Come Undone” Wally Lamb

“Sharp Objects” Gillian Flynn

“The Virgin Suicide” Jeffrey Eugenides

“Girl, Interrupted” Susanna Kaysen

“The Minds of Billy Milligan” Daniel Keyes

“The Girls” Emma Cline

“Norvegian Wood” Haruki Murakami

“The Perks of Being a Wallflower” Stephen Chbosky

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest” Ken Kesey

“White Oleander” J. Fitch

“How I Live Now” Meg Rosoff

novels and thrillers about serial killers/ psychopathy

“Zodiac” Robert Graysmith

“Psycho” Robert Bloch

“American Psycho” Bret Easton Ellis

“The Collector” John Fowles

“A Clockwork Orange” Anthony Burgess

“Columbine” Dave Cullen

“Helter Skelter: The True Story of The Manson Murders” Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry

“The Stranger Beside Me” Ann Rule

classics 

“The Outsiders” S. E. Hinton

“No Exit” Jean-Paul Sartre

“Catcher in the Rye” J.D. Salinger

“The Quiet American” and “Our Man in Havana” Graham Greene

“The Stranger” Albert Camus

“Hotel” Arthur Hailey

“On the Road” Jack Kerouac

“Catch-22” Joseph Heller

“Play It As It Lays” Joan Didion

“A Life” Guy de Maupassant

“Room at the Top” John Braine

“Candide” Voltaire

“The Divine Comedy” Dante Alighieri

“Dangerous Liaisons” Choderlos de Laclos

“The Scarlet Letter” Nathaniel Hawthorne

“The Mystery of Edwin Drood” Charles Dickens

“The Picture of Dorian Gray” Oscar Wilde

“The Sorrows of Young Werther” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Letters to a Young Poet” Rainer Maria Rilke

“Hello Sadness”, “Sunlight on Cold Water” Françoise Sagan

“Tess of the d'Urbervilles: A Pure Woman Faithfully Presented” Thomas Hardy

“Crime and Punishment” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“The Painted Veil” Somerset Maugham

“Three Comrades” Erich Maria Remarque

horror/gothic

“We Have Always Lived in the Castle” Shirley Jackson

“Flowers in the Attic” V.C. Andrews

“Dracula” Bram Stoker

“It”, “Joyland”, “Misery” and “Cujo” Stephen King

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” Washington Irving

“Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus” Mary Shelley

“The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” Robert Louis Stevenson

Everything by Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft

poetry

“You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense”, “Love is a Dog from Hell” Charles Bukowski

“Ariel” Sylvia Plath

“The Drunken Boat" Arthur Rimbaud

“A Season in Hell” Arthur Rimbaud

“The Flowers of Evil” Charles Pierre Baudelaire

Everything by John Keats, William Shakespeare, George Gordon Byron, Robert Frost

memoires

“The Journals of Sylvia Plath” Ted Hughes

“Autobiography” Morrissey

“Life” Keith Richards

“Serving the Servant: Remembering Kurt Cobain” Danny Goldberg

“Ten Days in a Mad-House” Nellie Bly

The Fireside Chats of Franklin Delano Roosevelt

#books

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and You

Songs without the word “you”: Teardrops On My Guitar, New Romantics, The Last Great American Dynasty, and No Body, No Crime, Midnight Rain

'Taylor Swift'

Tim McGraw: But when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favorite song

Tim McGraw: When you think happiness, I hope you think that little black dress

Tim McGraw: When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me

Tim McGraw: September saw a month of tears and thanking God that you weren't here to see me like that

Tim McGraw: But in a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read from three summers back

Tim McGraw: And there's a letter left on your doorstep and the first thing that you'll read

Picture To Burn: I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me

Picture To Burn: I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive

Picture To Burn: You're a redneck heartbreak who's really bad at lying

Picture To Burn: As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn

Picture To Burn: And if you come around saying sorry to me, my daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

Picture To Burn: And if you're missing me, you'd better keep it to yourself

Picture To Burn: In case you haven't heard, I really really hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive

Picture To Burn: You're just another picture to burn, baby, burn

A Place In This World: Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine, could you tell me what more do I need

Cold As You: You have a way of coming easily to me, and when you take, you take the very best of me

Cold As You: And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted

Cold As You: Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

Cold As You: And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through, I've never been anywhere cold as you

Cold As You: You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray, and I stood there loving you and wished them all away

Cold As You: And you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Cold As You: You never did give a damn thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you

Cold As You: And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you, died for you

Cold As You: Every smile you fake is so condescending, counting all the scars you made

The Outside: I can still see you, this ain't the best view on the outside looking in

The Outside: You saw me there, but never knew that I would give it all up to be a part of this, a part of you

The Outside: And now it's all too late, so you see, you could've helped if you had wanted to

Tied Together With A Smile: Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty is the face in the mirror looking back at you

Tied Together With A Smile: You walk around here thinking you're not pretty but that's not true 'cause I know you

Tied Together With A Smile: Hold on, baby, you're losing it, the water's high, you're jumping into it and letting go and no one knows

Tied Together With A Smile: That you cry, but you don't tell anyone that you might not be the golden one

Tied Together With A Smile: And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone

Tied Together With A Smile: I guess it's true that love was all you wanted 'cause you're giving it away like it's extra change

Tied Together With A Smile: Hoping it will end up in his pocket but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Stay Beautiful: They watch him as he's walking home saying, "Does he know?" Will you ever know?

Stay Beautiful: You're beautiful, every little piece love, and don't you know, you're really gonna be someone, ask anyone

Stay Beautiful: And when you find everything you looked for, I hope your life leads you back to my door

Stay Beautiful: If you and I are a story that never gets told, if what you are is a daydream I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

Stay Beautiful: And when you find everything you looked for, I hope your life leads you back to my front door

Stay Beautiful: Oh, but if it don't, will you stay beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Should've Said No: Yesterday I found out about you, even now just looking at you feels wrong

Should've Said No: You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance, it was a moment of weakness and you said, "Yes"

Should've Said No: You should've said "No", you should've gone home, you should've thought twice before you let it all go

Should've Said No: You should've known that word 'bout what you did with her'd get back to me

Should've Said No: You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet

Should've Said No: You should've said "No", baby, and you might still have me

Should've Said No: You can see that I've been crying, and baby, you know all the right things to say

Should've Said No: But do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?

Should've Said No: You say that the past is the past, you need one chance, it was a moment of weakness and you said, "Yes"

Should've Said No: I can't resist, before you go, tell me this, was it worth it? Was she worth this?

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): She said, I was seven and you were nine, I looked at you like the stars that shined in the sky, the pretty lights

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me, you never did, you never did

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried, just two kids, you and I

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Well, I was sixteen when suddenly I wasn't that little girl you used to see

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): 2 AM riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): You stayed outside 'til the morning light

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): You said I do and I did, too

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): After all this time, you and I

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): I'll be eighty-seven, you'll be eighty-nine, I'll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky, oh my my my

Our Song: When we're on the phone and you talk real slow 'cause it's late and your mama don't know

Our Song: Our song is the way you laugh, the first date: "Man, I didn't kiss her, when I should have"

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: You and I are painting pictures in the sky

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: And I know everything about you, I don't wanna live without you

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: And I'm only me when I'm with you

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: Through it all nobody gets me like you do

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: And you know everything about me, you say that you can't live without me

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself, and only you can tell

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: And I'm only me, who I wanna be, well, I'm only me when I'm with you, with you

Invisible: She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

Invisible: And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her, but you are everything to me

Invisible: And I just wanna show you, she don't even know you, she's never gonna love you like I want to

Invisible: And you just see right through me, but if you only knew me

Invisible: There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through

Invisible: She's never gonna see the light, no matter what you do

Invisible: And all I think about is how to make you think of me, and everything that we could be

Invisible: I just wanna open your eyes and make you realize

Invisible: Baby, let me love you, let me want you

A Perfectly Good Heart: Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

A Perfectly Good Heart: Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?

A Perfectly Good Heart: Why would you wanna make the very first scar?

A Perfectly Good Heart: No matter what you say, I still can't believe that you would walk away, it don't make sense to me

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fearless: There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car

Fearless: And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there in the middle of the parking lot

Fearless: We're driving down the road, I wonder if you know I'm trying so hard not to get caught up now

Fearless: But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair, absent-mindedly making me want you

Fearless: And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first fearless

Fearless: And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress fearless

Fearless: In this passenger's seat, you put your eyes on me

Fearless: Well, you stood there with me in the doorway

Fearless: But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

Fifteen: You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors, it's the morning of your very first day

Fifteen: You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while, try and stay out of everybody's way

Fifteen: It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here for the next four years in this town

Fifteen: Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, "You know I haven't seen you around before"

Fifteen: 'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them

Fifteen: And when you're fifteen, feeling like there's nothing to figure out

Fifteen: Well, count to ten, take it in, this is life before you know who you're gonna be

Fifteen: You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail and soon enough you're best friends

Fifteen: And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car and you're feeling like flying

Fifteen: And your mama's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one and you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends

Fifteen: When you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin round

Fifteen: But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, but I didn't know it at fifteen

Fifteen: When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Fifteen: And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

Fifteen: I've found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you're supposed to be

Fifteen: Take a deep breath, girl, take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

Love Story: We were both young when I first saw you

Love Story: See you make your way through the crowd and say, "Hello"

Love Story: Little did I know that you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles

Love Story: And I was crying on the staircase, begging you, "Please don't go"

Love Story: You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

Love Story: So I sneak out to the garden to see you

Love Story: 'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

Love Story: But you were everything to me, I was begging you, "Please don't go"

Love Story: I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around

Love Story: My faith in you was fading when I met you on the outskirts of town

Love Story: I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Love Story: Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone, I love you, and that's all I really know

Hey Stephen: Hey, Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving, but I know I saw a light in you

Hey Stephen: Hey, Stephen, boy, you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone

Hey Stephen: 'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel, can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain

Hey Stephen: So, come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you

Hey Stephen: Hey, Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling so I got some things to say to you

Hey Stephen: I seen it all, so I thought, but I never seen nobody shine the way you do

Hey Stephen: The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name, it's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change.

Hey Stephen: Hey, Stephen, why are people always leaving? I think you and I should stay the same

Hey Stephen: They're dimming the street lights, you're perfect for me, why aren't you here tonight?

Hey Stephen: Hey, Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose

Hey Stephen: All those other girls, well, they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?

Hey Stephen: I can't help myself if you look like an angel

White Horse: Say you're sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to

White Horse: As I paced back and forth all this time 'cause I honestly believed in you

White Horse: I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell

White Horse: I was a dreamer before you went and let me down

White Horse: Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

White Horse: You had to fight to have the upper hand

White Horse: I had so many dreams about you and me

White Horse: And there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me

White Horse: And it's too late for you and your white horse

White Horse: Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now

You Belong With Me: You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

You Belong With Me: She's going off about something that you said 'cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

You Belong With Me: Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

You Belong With Me: If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

You Belong With Me: Been here all along, so why can't you see, you belong with me, you belong with me

You Belong With Me: Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans

You Belong With Me: And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town

You Belong With Me: I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down

You Belong With Me: You say you're fine I know you better than that, hey, what you doing with a girl like that?

You Belong With Me: All this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me, you belong with me

You Belong With Me: Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night

You Belong With Me: I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry

You Belong With Me: I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams

You Belong With Me: Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

You Belong With Me: Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

You Belong With Me: You belong with me, have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me, you belong with me

Breathe: But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Breathe: It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

Breathe: 'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Breathe: Now I don't know what to be without you around

Breathe: You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand.

Breathe: And I can't breathe without you, but I have to, breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe: Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt

Breathe: Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

Breathe: Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

Tell Me Why: I took a chance, I took a shot, and you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not

Tell Me Why: You took a swing, I took it hard, and down here from the ground I see who you are

Tell Me Why: I'm sick and tired of your attitude, I'm feeling like I don't know you

Tell Me Why: You tell me that you love me then cut me down

Tell Me Why: And I need you like a heartbeat, but you know you got a mean streak, makes me run for cover when you're around

Tell Me Why: And here's to you and your temper, yes, I remember what you said last night

Tell Me Why: And I know that you see what you're doing to me, tell me why

Tell Me Why: You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day

Tell Me Why: You tell me that you want me, then push me around

Tell Me Why: Why do you have to make me feel small so you can feel whole inside

Tell Me Why: Why do you have to put down my dreams so you're the only thing on my mind

Tell Me Why: You tell me that you want me then cut me down

Tell Me Why: You ask me for my love then you push me around

Tell Me Why: I take a step back, let you go, I told you I'm not bulletproof, now you know

You're Not Sorry: All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around

You're Not Sorry: I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down

You're Not Sorry: And it's taken me this long, baby, but I figured you out

You're Not Sorry: And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around

You're Not Sorry: You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone

You're Not Sorry: And you can tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you baby like I did before, you're not sorry... no, no, no, no

You're Not Sorry: You are looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know

You're Not Sorry: Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

You're Not Sorry: And you got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know

You're Not Sorry: And now you're asking me to listen 'cause it's worked each time before

You're Not Sorry: You had me crawling for you honey and it never would've gone away, no

You're Not Sorry: You used to shine so bright but I watched all of it fade

The Way I Loved You: And he says "you look beautiful tonight" and I feel perfectly fine

The Way I Loved You: You're so in love that you act insane and that's the way I loved you

The Way I Loved You: And I never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you

The Way I Loved You: And you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

The Way I Loved You: I'm so in love that I acted insane and that's the way I loved you

Forever And Always: I hold onto the night you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me, were you just kidding?

Forever And Always: 'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're half way out the door

Forever And Always: And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all and you flashback to when he said forever and always

Forever And Always: It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone, 'cause I was there when you said forever and always

Forever And Always: Made you run and hide, like a scared little boy

Forever And Always: I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure

Forever And Always: You didn't mean it, baby, I don't think so

Forever And Always: Back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?

Forever And Always: And you flashback to when we said forever and always

Forever And Always: You didn't mean it, baby, you said forever and always, yeah

The Best Day: I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run

The Best Day: I know you're not scared of anything at all

The Best Day: But I know I had the best day with you today

The Best Day: I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys

The Best Day: I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you

The Best Day: I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run and I had the best days with you

The Best Day: You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me

The Best Day: And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

The Best Day: I know you were on my side even when I was wrong

The Best Day: And I love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine

The Best Day: And I didn't know if you knew so I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today

Change: And it’s a sad picture, the final blow hits you, somebody else gets what you wanted again

Change: And you know it’s all the same, another time and place, repeating history and you’re getting sick of it

Change: But I believe in whatever you do, and I’ll do anything to see it through

Change: Because these things will change, can you feel it now?

Change: You can walk away, say we don’t need this

Change: It was the night things changed, can you see it now?

Jump Then Fall: I like the way you sound in the morning

Jump Then Fall: I watch you talk, you didn't notice

Jump Then Fall: Every time you smile, I smile, and every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Jump Then Fall: Whoa, oh, I'm feeling you baby, don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me

Jump Then Fall: Baby, I'm never gonna leave you, say that you wanna be with me too

Jump Then Fall: You got the keys to me, I love each freckle on your face

Jump Then Fall: I like the way you're everything I ever wanted

Jump Then Fall: The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet, I'll catch you, I'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: When people say things that bring you to your knees, 'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry, but I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Jump Then Fall: Whoa, oh, I need you baby, don't be afraid, please, jump then fall, jump then fall into me

Jump Then Fall: Every time you smile, I smile, and every time you shine, I'll shine

Jump Then Fall: And every time you're here, baby, I'll show you, I'll show you you can

Untouchable: I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why

Untouchable: I'm caught up in you, I'm caught up in you

Untouchable: And when you're close I feel like coming undone

Untouchable: You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Untouchable: I know you're saying that you'd be here anyway

Untouchable: But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun, and now that you're close I feel like coming undone

Untouchable: In the middle of the night, waking from this dream, I wanna feel you by my side standing next to me

Untouchable: I'm caught up in you, oh, oh

Untouchable: You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together, come on, come on, oh

Come In With The Rain: Talk to the man with the reasons why and let me know what you find

Come In With The Rain: Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain

Come In With The Rain: I could stand up and sing you a song but I don't wanna' have to go that far

Come In With The Rain: And I, I've got you down, I know you by heart and you don't even know where I start

Come In With The Rain: Talk to yourself, talk to the tears, talk to the man who put you here

Come In With The Rain: I've watched you so long, screamed your name

SuperStar: And I knew from the first note played, I'd be breaking all my rules to see you

SuperStar: You smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row scream your name

SuperStar: So dim that spotlight, tell me things like, "I can't take my eyes off of you"

SuperStar: I'm no one special, just another wide eyed girl who's desperately in love with you

SuperStar: Morning loneliness, comes around when I'm not dreaming about you

SuperStar: When my world wakes up today, you'll be in another town

SuperStar: And I knew when I saw your face, I'd be counting down the ways to see you

SuperStar: You played in bars, you play guitar, I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are

SuperStar: And you'll never see, you sing me to sleep every night from the radio

The Other Side Of The Door: In the heat of the fight I walked away, ignoring words that you were saying, trying to make me stay

The Other Side Of The Door: I said, "This time I've had enough," and you've called a hundred times, but I'm not picking up

The Other Side Of The Door: 'Cause I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over, but if you look a little closer

The Other Side Of The Door: I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you"

The Other Side Of The Door: And don't you leave 'cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door

The Other Side Of The Door: So babe if you know everything, tell me why you couldn't see, when I left I wanted you to chase after me

The Other Side Of The Door: And I'll scream out the window, I can't even look at you

The Other Side Of The Door: I don't need you but I do, I do, I do

The Other Side Of The Door: I'll say, "There's nothing you can say to make this right again, I mean it, I mean it"

The Other Side Of The Door: I said, "Leave," but baby all I want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you"

The Other Side Of The Door: You carry me from your car up the stairs

The Other Side Of The Door: After everything I must confess, I need you

Today Was A Fairytale: Today was a fairytale, you were the prince, I used to be a damsel in distress

Today Was A Fairytale: You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six, today was a fairytale

Today Was A Fairytale: Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress, you wore a dark gray T-shirt

Today Was A Fairytale: You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess, today was a fairytale

Today Was A Fairytale: Time slows down whenever you're around

Today Was A Fairytale: But can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me

Today Was A Fairytale: Fell in love when I saw you standing there

Today Was A Fairytale: You've got a smile that takes me to another planet

Today Was A Fairytale: Every move you make, everything you say is right

Today Was A Fairytale: Did you feel it? I can't put this down

You All Over Me: They leave ‘em muddy underneath, reminds me of you

You All Over Me: You find graffiti on the walls of old bathroom stalls, you know, you can scratch it right off, it's how it used to be

You All Over Me: You can't change where it's been, reminds me of me

You All Over Me: I lived, and I learned, had you, got burned

You All Over Me: But no amount of freedom gets you clean, I’ve still got you all over me

You All Over Me: The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you

You All Over Me: With your hands in your pockets and your “don't you wish you had me” grin

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Mr. looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Mr. I’ve been waiting for you all my life

Mr. Perfectly Fine: It takes everything in me just to get up each day but it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Hello, Mr. casually cruel, Mr. everything revolves around you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: I’ve been Miss misery since your goodbye and you’re Mr. perfectly fine

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Well I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you’re all the same

Mr. Perfectly Fine: And I never got past what you put me through, but it’s wonderful to see that it never phased you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: So dignified in your well pressed suit, so strategized, all the eyes on you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: And someday maybe you’ll miss me but by then you’ll be Mr. too late

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Goodbye, Mr. casually cruel, Mr. everything revolves around you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: I’ve been Miss misery for the last time and you’re Mr. perfectly fine, you’re perfectly fine

Mr. Perfectly Fine: You said you'd never go away

We Were Happy: You threw your arms around my neck back when I deserved it

We Were Happy: Talking ‘bout your daddy’s farm and you were gonna marry me

That's When: You said, “I know," when I said, “I need some time, need some space to think about all of this”

That's When: And you watched me go and I knew my words were hard to hear and harder to ever take back

That's When: And I said, “When can I come back?” and you said, "That’s when"

That's When: When I see your face, I’ll let you in and baby that’s when

That's When: I said, “I know,” when you said, “I did you wrong, made mistakes, and put you through all of this”

That's When: And you said, “When can I come back?” and I said, "That's when"

That's When: And you said, “Honestly, when you were gone, did you ever think of me?”

That's When: And that’s when you were waiting at the front gate

That's When: That’s when, when I saw your face, you let me in, and baby that’s when

That's When: That’s when I miss you, that’s when I want you, that’s when I love you, that’s when

Don't You: Hey, I knew I’d run into you somewhere  

Don't You: But don’t you, don’t you smile at me and ask me how I’ve been

Don't You: Don’t you say you’ve missed me if you don’t want me again

Don't You: You don’t know how much I feel I love you still so why don’t you, don’t you

Don't You: Sometimes I really wish that I could hate you

Don't You: And you can say we’re still friends but I don’t want to pretend, so if I see you again

Bye Bye Baby: I guess you could say this is the last time I'll drive this way again

Bye Bye Baby: Lost in the gray and I try to grab at the fray cause I, I still love you but I can’t

Bye Bye Baby: I want you bad but it’s come down to nothing and all I have is your sympathy

Bye Bye Baby: 'Cause you took me home but you just couldn’t keep me

Bye Bye Baby: You’re all I want but it’s not enough this time

Bye Bye Baby: Oh, you took me home, I thought you were gonna keep me

'Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)'

Mine: You were in college working part time waiting tables

Mine: I say, "Can you believe it?" as we're lying on the couch

Mine: Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time

Mine: You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, you are the best thing that's ever been mine

Mine: You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded, you say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

Mine: Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe for the first time

Mine: I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Mine: Then you took me by surprise, you said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Mine: You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water, and every time I look at you, it's like the first time"

Mine: Do you believe it? We're gonna make it now

Sparks Fly: The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm and I'm a house of cards

Sparks Fly: You're the kind of reckless that should send me running but I kinda know that I won't get far

Sparks Fly: And you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch

Sparks Fly: Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of

Sparks Fly: 'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Sparks Fly: Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

Sparks Fly: My mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea

Sparks Fly: You touch me once and it's really something, you find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

Sparks Fly: I'm on my guard for the rest of the world but with you I know it's no good

Sparks Fly: And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would

Sparks Fly: And lead me up the staircase, won't you whisper soft and slow?

Sparks Fly: I'm captivated by you, baby, like a fireworks show

Back To December: I'm so glad you made time to see me

Back To December: You've been good, busier than ever

Back To December: Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind

Back To December: You gave me roses and I left them there to die

Back To December: So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night"

Back To December: It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

Back To December: And I think about summer, all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side and realized I loved you in the fall

Back To December: You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

Back To December: And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry

Back To December: But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

Speak Now: But you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl

Speak Now: This is surely not what you thought it would be

Speak Now: I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door

Speak Now: Don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said, "Speak now."

Speak Now: But I know you wish it was me, you wish it was me, don’t you?

Speak Now: Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I’m only looking at you

Speak Now: And you say, "Let’s run away now, I’ll meet you when I’m out of my tux at the back door"

Speak Now: Baby, I didn’t say my vows, so glad you were around when they said, "Speak now"

Dear John: Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you

Dear John: You paint me a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain

Dear John: And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday

Dear John: Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight

Dear John: Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John: Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone, don't you think I was too young to be messed with?

Dear John: Or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away

Dear John: And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand

Dear John: Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be played by your dark, twisted games when I loved you so?

Dear John: You are an expert at "Sorry" and keeping lines blurry

Dear John: All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes 'cause you burned them out

Dear John: The girl in the dress wrote you a song, you should’ve known

Dear John: You should’ve known, don’t you think I was too young? You should’ve known

Mean: You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

Mean: You have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing

Mean: You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded

Mean: You, picking on the weaker man

Mean: Well you can take me down with just one single blow, but you don't know what you don't know

Mean: Someday I'll be living in a big old city and all you're ever gonna be is mean

Mean: And all you're ever gonna be is mean, why you gotta be so mean?

Mean: You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation

Mean: You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them

Mean: I walk with my head down, trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

Mean: I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

Mean: 'Cause you can't lead me down that road and you don't know what you don't know

Mean: And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game

Mean: But all you are is mean, all you are is mean

The Story Of Us: I used to know my place was the spot next to you

The Story Of Us: 'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

The Story Of Us: So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up, I can't break through

The Story Of Us: And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

The Story Of Us: And you're doing your best to avoid me

The Story Of Us: How I was losing my mind when I saw you here, but you held your pride like you should've held me

The Story Of Us: I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how

The Story Of Us: But I liked it better when you were on my side

The Story Of Us: But I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight

The Story Of Us: So many things that you wish I knew, but the story of us might be ending soon

Never Grow Up: Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

Never Grow Up: To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret

Never Grow Up: I'd give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that

Never Grow Up: Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Never Grow Up: Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

Never Grow Up: I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart

Never Grow Up: And no one will desert you, just try to never grow up, never grow up

Never Grow Up: You're in the car on the way to the movies and you're mortified your mom's dropping you off

Never Grow Up: At 14 there's just so much you can't do, and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

Never Grow Up: And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Never Grow Up: No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred

Never Grow Up: And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Never Grow Up: And even though you want to, please try to never grow up

Enchanted: All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Enchanted: And it was enchanting to meet you, all I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

Enchanted: This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

Enchanted: I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you

Enchanted: The lingering question kept me up, 2 AM, who do you love?

Enchanted: And now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door

Enchanted: I'd open up and you would say, "Hey, it was enchanting to meet you, all I know is I was enchanted to meet you"

Enchanted: This night is flawless, don't you let it go

Enchanted: My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again

Enchanted: These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon, I was enchanted to meet you

Enchanted: Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you

Better Than Revenge: Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did

Better Than Revenge: She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"

Better Than Revenge: She's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress

Better Than Revenge: Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends

Better Than Revenge: But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go

Better Than Revenge: They didn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me, that no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

Better Than Revenge: I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey

Better Than Revenge: You might have him but haven't you heard

Better Than Revenge: You might have him but I always get the last word

Better Than Revenge: Do you still feel like you know what you're doing, 'cause I don't think you do

Better Than Revenge: Do you still feel like you know what you're doing? I don't think you do, I don't think you do

Better Than Revenge: Let's hear the applause, come on show me how much better you are

Better Than Revenge: So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better

Innocent: I guess you really did it this time, left yourself in your warpath

Innocent: Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?

Innocent: Oh, who you are is not where you've been, you're still an innocent, you're still an innocent

Innocent: Did some things you can't speak of but at night you live it all again

Innocent: You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now if only you had seen what you know now then

Innocent: When everything out of reach someone bigger brought down to you

Innocent: Wasn't it beautiful running wild 'til you fell asleep, before the monsters caught up to you?

Innocent: Who you are is not what you did, you're still an innocent

Innocent: Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers

Innocent: I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new

Haunted: You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time

Haunted: And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Haunted: Oh, holding my breath, won't lose you again

Haunted: Come on, come on, don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out

Haunted: Something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted

Haunted: Can't breathe whenever you're gone, can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Haunted: Stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had but I still mean every word I said to you

Haunted: But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

Haunted: Oh, holding my breath, won't see you again

Haunted: I know, I know, I just know, you're not gone, you can't be gone, no

Haunted: Something's gone terribly wrong, won't finish what you started

Haunted: Can't breathe whenever you're gone, can't go back, I'm haunted

Haunted: You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time

Last Kiss: The words that you whispered for just us to know

Last Kiss: You told me you loved me so why did you go away, away

Last Kiss: All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss

Last Kiss: The life of the party, you're showing off again

Last Kiss: And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in, I'm not much for dancing but for you I did

Last Kiss: I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

Last Kiss: How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something

Last Kiss: So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

Last Kiss: And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

Last Kiss: And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are, hope it's nice where you are

Last Kiss: And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed

Last Kiss: You can plan for a change in weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind

Long Live: The night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same

Long Live: You held your head like a hero on a history book page

Long Live: How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

Long Live: You traded your baseball cap for a crown

Long Live: I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

Long Live: Will you take a moment, promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever

Long Live: If you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name

Long Live: Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life with you

Ours: If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares, but right now my time is theirs

Ours: They'll judge it like they know about me and you

Ours: The jury's out, but my choice is you

Ours: So don't you worry your pretty little mind

Ours: You never know what people have up their sleeves

Ours: But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine

Ours: And you'll say, don't you worry your pretty little mind

Ours: I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you

Ours: 'Cause I love the gap between your teeth and I love the riddles that you speak

Superman: I hang on every word you say

Superman: And you smile and say, "How are you?" I'll say, "Just fine"

Superman: I always forget to tell you, I love you, I'll love you forever

Superman: I watch superman fly away, you've got a busy day today

Superman: Come back I'll be with you someday, I'll be right here on the ground when you come back down

Superman: But I hope someday you'll take me away and save the day, yeah

Superman: And you'll leave, got places to be and I'll be okay

Superman: I always forget to tell you I love you, I loved you from the very first day

Superman: And I watch you fly around the world and I hope you don't save some other girl

Superman: I'm far away but I never let you go

Superman: Right here wishing the flowers were from you, wishing the card was from you, wishing the call was from you, 'cause I loved you from the very first day

Superman: I watch superman fly away, I swear I'll be with you someday

Electric Touch: Just the first time ever hanging out with you tonight

Electric Touch: And I want you now, want to need you forever

Electric Touch: I was thinking just one time, maybe the stars align and maybe I call you mine

Electric Touch: And you won’t need space or string me along while you decide

When Emma Falls In Love: ‘Cause she’s the kind of book that you can’t put down

When Emma Falls In Love: And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her

When Emma Falls In Love: ‘Cause she’ll call you out, she’ll put you in your place

When Emma Falls In Love: Yeah, between me and you, sometimes I wish I was her

I Can See You: You brush past me in the hallway and you don’t think I, I, I can see you, do you?

I Can See You: I’ve been watching you for ages and I spend my time trying not to feel it

I Can See You: But what would you do if I went to touch you now?

I Can See You: What would you do if they never found us out?

I Can See You: What would you do if we never made a sound?

I Can See You: 'Cause I can see you waiting down the hall from me

I Can See You: And I could see you up against the wall with me

I Can See You: And what would you do, baby, if you only knew that I can see you?

I Can See You: You won't believe half the things I see inside my head

I Can See You: Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet

I Can See You: And what would you do if I went to touch you now?

I Can See You: And what would you do, baby, if you only knew, oh-oh, oh, oh

I Can See You: That I can see you throw your jacket on the floor

I Can See You: I could see you make me want you even more

I Can See You: I could see you in your suit and your necktie

I Can See You: Then we kiss and you know I won’t ever tell, yeah

I Can See You: And I could see you being my addiction

I Can See You: You can see me as a secret mission

I Can See You: Oh, oh, oh, oh, I could see you waiting down the hall from me

I Can See You: And I could see you throw your jacket on the floor

I Can See You: What would you do, baby, if you only knew?

I Can See You: That I can see you, oh, I can see you

I Can See You: Oh, I see you, I see you, baby, I see you, I see you, I see you, baby, oh, baby

Castles Crumbling: And you don’t want to know me, I will just let you down

Castles Crumbling: You don’t want to know me now

Castles Crumbling: Never wanted you to hate me

Foolish One: Chances are tonight you've already got plans

Foolish One: You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

Foolish One: And the voices say, "You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson"

Foolish One: You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Foolish One: You know how to keep me waiting, I know how to act like I'm fine

Foolish One: Don't know what to call this situation but I know I can't call you mine

Foolish One: 'Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around

Foolish One: Over coffee every morning while you're watching the news

Foolish One: But then the voices say, "You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson"

Foolish One: You will learn the hard way instead of just walking out

Foolish One: Oh, you haven't written me or called but goodbye screaming in the silence

Foolish One: 'Cause you got her on your arm and me in the wings

Foolish One: And you will say you had the best of intentions

Foolish One: Ain't never gonna come, ooh, you will learn the hard way now

Foolish One: And thinking he's the one, you should've been walking out

Timeless: The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime, the kind you don't put down

Timeless: And that's when I called you and it's so hard to explain, but in those photos I saw us instead

Timeless: And somehow I know that you and I would've found each other

Timeless: In another life, you still would've turned my head

Timeless: Even if wе'd met on a crowded street in 1944 and you werе headed off to fight in the war

Timeless: You still would've been mine, we would have been timeless

Timeless: I would've read your love letters every single night and prayed to god you'd be coming home all right

Timeless: And you would've been fine, we would have been timeless

Timeless: So even in a different life, you still would've still been mine, we would've been timeless

Timeless: Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Timeless: And I'd die for you in the same way

Timeless: You still would've been mine, we would've been timeless

Timeless: Time breaks down your mind and body, don't you let it touch your soul

Timeless: It was like an age-old classic, the first time that you saw me

Timeless: The story started when you said "Hello" in a crowded room a few short years ago

Timeless: And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

Timeless: You're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be

Timeless: I'm gonna love you when our hair is turning gray

Timeless: And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless"

Timeless: We're gonna be timeless, timeless, you still would've been mine, we would've been

Timeless: Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944, you still would've been mine, we would've been

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State Of Grace: And I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same

State Of Grace: You come around and the armor falls

State Of Grace: We are alone, just you and me, up in your room and our slates are clean

State Of Grace: So you were never a saint and I've loved in shades of wrong

State Of Grace: Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right

State Of Grace: These are the hands of fate, you're my Achilles heel

Red: Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall

Red: Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

Red: Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

Red: Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong

Treacherous: And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands, and I'd be smart to walk away but you're quicksand

Treacherous: I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay

Treacherous: Forever going with the flow but you're friction

Treacherous: Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you, get you alone

Treacherous: Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should, think you should know

Treacherous: That nothing safe is worth the drive and I would follow you, follow you home, I'll follow you, follow you home

I Knew You Were Trouble: I was in your sights, you got me alone, you found me, you found me, you found me

I Knew You Were Trouble: I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that, and when I fell hard you took a step back

I Knew You Were Trouble: I knew you were trouble when you walked in so shame on me now

I Knew You Were Trouble: Flew me to places I'd never been 'til you put me down, oh

I Knew You Were Trouble: No apologies, he'll never see you cry, pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why you're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning

I Knew You Were Trouble: Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street

I Knew You Were Trouble: And the saddest fear comes creeping in that you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything

I Knew You Were Trouble: I knew you were trouble when you walked in, trouble, trouble, trouble

All Too Well: I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something 'bout it felt like home somehow

All Too Well: And I left my scarf there at your sister's house and you've still got it in your drawer even now

All Too Well: You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me

All Too Well: You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed

All Too Well: And your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team

All Too Well: You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

All Too Well: And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to

All Too Well: But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

All Too Well: And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

All Too Well: After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

All Too Well: But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

All Too Well: You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

All Too Well: Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

All Too Well: Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all, down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all

22: I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22

22: Everything will be all right if you keep me next to you

22: You don't know about me but I'll bet you want to

22: You look like bad news, I gotta have you, I gotta have you

I Almost Do: I bet this time of night you're still up, I bet you're tired from a long hard week

I Almost Do: I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city and I bet sometimes you wonder about me

I Almost Do: And I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you

I Almost Do: And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do, I almost do

I Almost Do: I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'cause each time you reach out there's no reply

I Almost Do: I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you and risk another goodbye

I Almost Do: And I confess, babe, in my dreams you're touching my face

I Almost Do: I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city and I hope sometimes you wonder about me

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: We hadn't seen each other in a month when you said you needed space, what?

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Then you come around again and say, "Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me"

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you"

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: But ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: I'm really gonna miss you picking fights and me falling for it screaming that I'm right

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: And you would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Ooh, you called me up again tonight but ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Ugh, so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you," and I'm like, "I just, I mean this is exhausting, you know, like, we are never getting back together, like, ever"

Stay Stay Stay: I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, I threw my phone across the room at you

Stay Stay Stay: I was expecting some dramatic turn-away but you stayed

Stay Stay Stay: This morning I said we should talk about it 'cause I read you should never leave a fight unresolved

Stay Stay Stay: That's when you came in wearing a football helmet and said, "Okay, let's talk"

Stay Stay Stay: I've been lovin' you for quite some time, time, time

Stay Stay Stay: You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad but I think that it's best if we both stay

Stay Stay Stay: Before you I'd only dated self-indulgent takers who took all of their problems out on me

Stay Stay Stay: But you carry my groceries, and now I'm always laughing

Stay Stay Stay: I love you because you have given me no choice but to stay stay stay

Stay Stay Stay: You took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes, and dreams, I just like hangin' out with you all the time

Stay Stay Stay: All those times that you didn't leave, it's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life

Stay Stay Stay: Stay and I'll be loving you for quite some time

The Last Time: I imagine you are home in your room, all alone, and you open your eyes into mine

The Last Time: No past, no reasons why, just you and me

The Last Time: This is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list

The Last Time: This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye

The Last Time: You find yourself at my door and just like all those times before, you wear your best apology

The Last Time: And all the times I let you in, just for you to go again, disappear when you come back

The Last Time: No past, nowhere to hide, just you and me

The Last Time: This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong, this is the last time I say it's been you all along

The Last Time: This is the last time I let you in my door, this is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

The Last Time: This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart

The Last Time: This is the last time I’m asking you, last time I’m asking you, last time I’m asking you this

Holy Ground: Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme

Holy Ground: Yeah, you skip the conversation when you already know

Holy Ground: We block the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

Holy Ground: But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

Holy Ground: But I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you

Holy Ground: Tonight I’m gonna dance like you were in this room

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late

Sad Beautiful Tragic: In dreams I meet you in warm conversation

Sad Beautiful Tragic: And time is taking its sweet time erasing you

Sad Beautiful Tragic: And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?

The Lucky One: You had it figured out since you were in school, everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool, so overnight you look like a 60s queen

The Lucky One: And they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one, yeah, they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one

The Lucky One: But can you tell me now, you’re the lucky one, oh, oh, oh

The Lucky One: And your lover in the foyer doesn't even know you

The Lucky One: And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused 'cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used

The Lucky One: Another name goes up in lights, you wonder if you’ll make it out alive

The Lucky One: And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared, how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out

The Lucky One: They say you bought a bunch of land somewhere

The Lucky One: ‘Cause now my name is up in lights, but I think you got it right

The Lucky One: Let me tell you now, you’re the lucky one

The Lucky One: Bet you tell them now, you’re the lucky one, oh, oh, oh

Everything Has Changed: I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now, I just wanna know you, know you, know you

Everything Has Changed: All I know is you held the door, you'll be mine and I'll be yours

Everything Has Changed: But I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you

Everything Has Changed: Come back and tell me why I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time

Starlight: He said, "Look at you, worrying too much about things you can't change, you'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way"

Starlight: Don't you see the starlight, starlight, don't you dream impossible things?

Begin Again: I walked in expecting you'd be late but you got here early and you stand and wave, I walk to you

Begin Again: You pull my chair out and help me in, and you don't know how nice that is but I do

Begin Again: And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

Begin Again: I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did

Begin Again: You said you never met one girl who had as many James Taylor records as you but I do

Begin Again: We tell stories and you don't know why I'm coming off a little shy but I do

Begin Again: But you start to talk about the movies that your family watches

The Moment I Knew: You should've been there, should've burst through the door with that 'baby I'm right here' smile

The Moment I Knew: I've got my eye on the door, just waiting for you to walk in

The Moment I Knew: How you said you'd be here, you said you'd be here

The Moment I Knew: And they're all laughing and asking me about you

The Moment I Knew: What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know?

The Moment I Knew: And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?

The Moment I Knew: You should've been here and I would've been so happy

The Moment I Knew: And they're all standing around me singing, "Happy birthday to you"

The Moment I Knew: You called me later and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it," and I said, "I'm sorry too"

Come Back... Be Here: You said it in a simple way, 4 AM, the second day, how strange that I don't know you at all

Come Back... Be Here: Spinning faster than the plane that took you

Come Back... Be Here: And this is when the feeling sinks in, I don't wanna miss you like this

Come Back... Be Here: I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way

Come Back... Be Here: The delicate beginning rush, the feeling you can know so much without knowing anything at all

Come Back... Be Here: Taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me

Come Back... Be Here: I can't help but wish you took me with you

Come Back... Be Here: I guess you're in London today, I don't wanna need you this way

Come Back... Be Here: This is falling for you when you are worlds away

Come Back... Be Here: But you're in London and I break down 'cause it's not fair that you're not around

Come Back... Be Here: I don't wanna miss you like this

Girl At Home: Don't look at me, you've got a girl at home and everybody knows that

Girl At Home: And you've been getting closer and closer and crossing so many lines

Girl At Home: I see you turn off your phone and now you got me alone

Girl At Home: I just wanna make sure you understand perfectly, you're the kind of man who makes me sad

Girl At Home: While she waits up, you chase down the newest thing and take for granted what you have

Girl At Home: Call a cab, lose my number, you're about to lose your girl

Girl At Home: I wanna see you pick up your phone and tell her you're coming home

Ronan: I love you to the moon and back

Ronan: I remember you dancing before bed time, then jumping on me, waking me up

Ronan: I can still feel you hold my hand, little man

Ronan: You fought it hard like an army guy, remember I leaned in and whispered to you

Ronan: You were my best four years

Ronan: You could be anything you wanted if you were still here

Ronan: What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you?

Ronan: What if I kept the hand-me-downs you won't grow into?

Ronan: What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you?

Better Man: And I see the permanent damage you did to me

Better Man: I wish it wasn't 4 AM, standing in the mirror saying to myself, you know you had to do it

Better Man: Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again

Better Man: But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

Better Man: You're talking down to me like I'll always be around

Better Man: You push my love away like it's some kind of loaded gun, oh, you never thought I'd run

Better Man: And I gave to you my best and we both know you can't say that

Better Man: I wish you were a better man, I wonder what we would've become if you were a better man

Better Man: We might still be in love if you were a better man

Better Man: You would've been the one if you were a better man

Nothing New: They tell you while you’re young, girls, go out and have your fun

Nothing New: Criticize the way you fly when you’re soaring through the sky

Nothing New: Shoot you down and then they sigh and say, “She looks like she’s been through it”

Nothing New: And will you still want me when I’m nothing new?

Nothing New: When you can’t blame it on my youth and roll your eyes with affection

Nothing New: The kind of radiance you only have at seventeen

Nothing New: And will you still want me, will you still want me, will you still want me when I’m nothing new?

Babe: Big mistake, broke the sweetest promise that you never should have made

Babe: I'm here on the kitchen floor, you call, but I won't hear it

Babe: You said no one else, how could you do this, babe?

Babe: You really blew this, babe, we ain't getting through this one, babe

Babe: This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe

Babe: Your secret has it's consequence and that's on you, babe

Babe: I break down every time you call, we're a wreck, you're the wrecking ball

Babe: We said "no one else," how could you do this, babe?

Babe: This is the last time I'll ever call you

Babe: Since you admitted it, I keep picturing her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it

Babe: I hate that because of you, I can't love you, babe

Babe: You said no one else, we ain't getting through this one, babe

Babe: You said no one else, this is the last time I'll ever call you babe

Message In A Bottle: I know that you like me and it’s kinda frightening standing here waiting, waiting

Message In A Bottle: But now you’re so far away and I’m down feeling like a face in the crowd

Message In A Bottle: I’m reaching for you, terrified

Message In A Bottle: Cause you could be the one that I love, I could be the one that you dream of

Message In A Bottle: A message in a bottle is all I can do, standing here hoping it gets to you

Message In A Bottle: You could be the one that I keep and I could be the reason you can’t sleep at night

Message In A Bottle: Look how you made me, made me

Message In A Bottle: Where were you while I’m wondering if I’ll ever see you again?

Message In A Bottle: You could be the one that I love, and now I’m standing here hoping it gets to you

Message In A Bottle: You could be the one that I love, you could be the one that I love, my love

Message In A Bottle: And now I'm standing here hoping this gets to you

I Bet You Think About Me: 3am and I’m still awake, I bet you’re just fine

I Bet You Think About Me: And I’ll bet your friends tell you she’s better than me

I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you couldn’t believe when you realized I’m harder to forget than I was to leave

I Bet You Think About Me: And I bet you think about me

I Bet You Think About Me: You grew up in a silver spoon gated community, glamorous shiny bright Beverly Hills

I Bet You Think About Me: But you know what they say, you can’t help who you fall for and you and I fell like an early spring snow

I Bet You Think About Me: But reality crept in, you said we’re too different, you laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes

I Bet You Think About Me: Mr. Superior Thinking, do you have all the space that you need?

I Bet You Think About Me: I don’t have to be your shrink to know that you’ll never be happy

I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you think about me, yes, I bet you think about me

I Bet You Think About Me: Oh, block it all out, the voices so loud saying why did you let her go

I Bet You Think About Me: Does it make you feel sad that the love that you’re looking for is the love that you had

I Bet You Think About Me: Now you’re out in the world, searching for your soul

I Bet You Think About Me: Last time you felt free was when none of that mattered 'cause you were with me

I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you think about me when you’re out at your cool indie music concerts every week

I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you think about me in your house with your organic shoes and your million dollar couch

I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you think about me when you say “oh my god, she’s insane, she wrote a song about me”

Forever Winter: He says, “Why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?”

Forever Winter: All this time I didn’t know you were breaking down

Forever Winter: I’d fall to pieces on the floor if you weren’t around

Forever Winter: I’ll be summer sun for you forever, forever winter if you go

Forever Winter: I’d say I love you even at your darkest and please don’t go

Forever Winter: I didn’t know you were breaking down

Forever Winter: I’d be in pieces on the floor, forever winter if you go

Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go

Run: There’s a chain ‘round your throat, piece of paper where I wrote, “I’ll wait for you”

Run: There’s a key on the chain, there’s a picture in a frame, take it with you

Run: And run, like you’d run from the law

Run: So you laugh like a child and I’ll sing like no one cares

Run: And the note from the locket, you keep it in your pocket since I gave it to you

Run: There’s a heart on your sleeve, I’ll take it when I leave and hold it for you

Run: Say you’ll never let ‘em tear us apart and I’ll hold onto you while we run

The Very First Night: I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time

The Very First Night: I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night

The Very First Night: I drive down different roads but they all lead back to you

The Very First Night: They don’t know how much I miss you

The Very First Night: No one knows how much I miss you

The Very First Night: Take me away, take me away, take me away to you, to you

The Very First Night: I’m the one on the phone as you whisper, “Do you know how much I miss you?”

The Very First Night: And I’d say to you, “I miss you like it was the very first night”

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): But I’m in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): The idea you had of me, who was she? a never-needy, ever lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): Some actress asking me what happened, you, that’s what happened, you

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes, sipping coffee like you were on a late night show

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): Just between us did the love affair maim you all too well

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): Just between us, do you remember it all too well

'1989 (Taylor’s Version)'

Welcome To New York: Welcome to New York, it's been waiting for you

Welcome To New York: And you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls

Welcome To New York: Like any great love, it keeps you guessing

Welcome To New York: Like any true love, it drives you crazy but you know you wouldn't change anything, anything, anything

Blank Space: Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things

Blank Space: Saw you there and I thought, oh my God, look at that face, you look like my next mistake

Blank Space: New money, suit and tie, I can read you like a magazine

Blank Space: Ain't it funny, rumors fly, and I know you heard about me

Blank Space: You can tell me when it's over if the high was worth the pain

Blank Space: Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane

Blank Space: 'Cause you know I love the players and you love the game

Blank Space: It'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar

Blank Space: Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things

Blank Space: Stolen kisses, pretty lies, you're the King, baby, I'm your Queen

Blank Space: Find out what you want, be that girl for a month

Blank Space: Keep you second guessing like, "Oh my God, who is she?"

Blank Space: I get drunk on jealousy, but you'll come back each time you leave

Blank Space: Boys only want love if it's torture, don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn you

Style: Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights

Style: Fade into view, oh, it's been a while since I have even heard from you

Style: I should just tell you to leave 'cause I know exactly where it leads

Style: You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like

Style: You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt

Style: I say, "I heard, oh, that you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl"

Style: He says, "What you've heard is true but I can't stop thinking about you and I"

Out Of The Woods: You took a Polaroid of us then discovered the rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming color

Out Of The Woods: Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?

Out Of The Woods: When you started crying, baby, I did, too

Out Of The Woods: But when the sun came up, I was looking at you

Out Of The Woods: I walked out and said, "I'm setting you free,"

Out Of The Woods: And when the sun came up, you were lookin' at me

Out Of The Woods: You were lookin' at me, you were lookin' at me

All You Had To Do Was Stay: People like you always want back the love they gave away and people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed

All You Had To Do Was Stay: All I know is that you drove us off the road

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Hey, all you had to do was stay

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Then why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Hey, now you say you want it back now that it's just too late

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Well, it could've been easy, all you had to do was stay

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say

All You Had To Do Was Stay: I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made

All You Had To Do Was Stay: People like you always want back the love they pushed aside but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Let me remind you, this was what you wanted, you ended it

All You Had To Do Was Stay: You were all I wanted, but not like this, not like this, not like this, oh, all you had to do was...

Shake It Off: Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you could've been getting down to this sick beat

Shake It Off: Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake

I Wish You Would: It's 2 AM in your car, windows down, you pass my street, the memories start

I Wish You Would: You say it's in the past, you drive straight ahead

I Wish You Would: You're thinking that I hate you now 'cause you still don't know what I never said

I Wish You Would: I wish you would come back, wish I never hung up the phone like I did

I Wish You Would: And I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live

I Wish You Would: And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good, I wish you would

I Wish You Would: It's 2 AM in my room, headlights pass the window pane, I think of you

I Wish You Would: Makes you wanna run and hide then it makes you turn right back around

I Wish You Would: And I wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore

I Wish You Would: You always knew how to push my buttons, you gave me everything and nothing

I Wish You Would: This mad mad love makes you come running to stand back where you stood, I wish you would, I wish you would

Bad Blood: 'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love

Bad Blood: So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood

Bad Blood: You made a really deep cut and, baby, now we got bad blood

Bad Blood: Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted

Bad Blood: Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it's all rusted

Bad Blood: Did you have to hit me, where I'm weak? Baby, I couldn't breathe

Bad Blood: And rub it in so deep, salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me

Bad Blood: Oh, it's so sad to think about the good times, you and I

Bad Blood: Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife

Bad Blood: Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you

Bad Blood: And time can heal but this won't, so if you're coming my way, just don't

Bad Blood: Band-aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show, if you live like that, you live with ghosts

Bad Blood: If you love like that blood runs cold

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams

Wildest Dreams: You see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down

Wildest Dreams: Someday when you leave me I bet these memories follow you around

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend

How You Get The Girl: She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane?"

How You Get The Girl: Say it's been a long 6 months and you were too afraid to tell her what you want

How You Get The Girl: And that's how it works, that's how you get the girl

How You Get The Girl: And then you say, "I want you for worse or for better"

How You Get The Girl: Tell her how you must have lost your mind when you left her all alone, and never told her why

How You Get The Girl: And that's how it works, that's how you lost the girl

How You Get The Girl: And now you say, "I want you for worse or for better"

How You Get The Girl: And you could know, oh, that I don't want you to go

How You Get The Girl: Remind me how it used to be, pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, and say you want me

How You Get The Girl: That's how it works, that's how you got the girl

This Love: Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in

This Love: Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone

This Love: Lantern burning, flickered in the night for only you, but you were still gone, gone, gone

This Love: In losing grip on sinking ships, you showed up just in time

This Love: Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave

This Love: When you're young you just run but you come back to what you need

I Know Places: You stand with your hand on my waistline

I Know Places: And you know for me, it's always you, I know places

I Know Places: And I know for you, it's always me, I know places

Clean: You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

Clean: And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

Clean: Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

Clean: Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it

Wonderland: You held on tight to me 'cause nothing's as it seems

Wonderland: Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

Wonderland: Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

Wonderland: We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it

Wonderland: Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire cat smile?

Wonderland: I reached for you but you were gone, I knew I had to go back home

Wonderland: You search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had

You Are In Love: One look, dark room, meant just for you

You Are In Love: Time moved too fast, you play it back

You Are In Love: No proof, not much, but you saw enough

You Are In Love: No proof, one touch, but you felt enough

You Are In Love: You can hear it in the silence, silence

You Are In Love: You can feel it on the way home, way home

You Are In Love: You could see it with the lights out, lights out

You Are In Love: You are in love, true love, you are in love

You Are In Love: You keep his shirt, he keeps his word

You Are In Love: And for once you let go of your fears and your ghosts

You Are In Love: You kiss on sidewalks, you fight then you talk

You Are In Love: Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend," and you knew what it was, he is in love

You Are In Love: And so it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round

You Are In Love: And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown

You Are In Love: And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

“Slut!”: What if all I need is you?

“Slut!”: I’ll pay the price, you won’t

“Slut!”: And if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once

“Slut!”: Love to think you’ll never forget

“Slut!”: You’re not saying you’re in love with me, but you’re going to

“Slut!”: I’m not saying, “Do it anyway,” but you’re going to

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you have to lead me on?

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you have to twist the knife?

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night?

Say Don’t Go: I would stay forever if you say, “Don’t go”

Say Don’t Go: Strike a match, then you blow it out

Say Don’t Go: ‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time

Say Don’t Go: And I’m yours, but you’re not mine

Say Don’t Go: Oh no, oh no, you’re not there

Say Don’t Go: I wait for you to drive by

Say Don’t Go: I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show

Say Don’t Go: I’m about to fold unless you say, “Don’t go”

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you have to make me want you?

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you have to give me nothing back?

Say Don’t Go: Why’d you have to make me love you?

Say Don’t Go: I said, “I love you,” you say nothing back

Say Don’t Go: But you won’t, but you won’t, but you won’t

Now That We Don’t Talk: You went to a party, I heard from everybody

Now That We Don’t Talk: You part the crowd like the Red Sea

Now That We Don’t Talk: Did you get anxious though, on the way home?

Now That We Don’t Talk: You grew your hair long, you got new icons

Now That We Don’t Talk: And from the outside, it looks like you’re trying lives on

Now That We Don’t Talk: I miss the old ways, you didn’t have to change

Now That We Don’t Talk: Remind myself the more I gave, you’d want me less

Now That We Don’t Talk: What do you tell your friends we shared dinners, long weekends with?

Now That We Don’t Talk: Remind myself the way you faded ‘til I left

Now That We Don’t Talk: Just like I had been when you were chasing me

Suburban Legends: You had people who called you on unmarked numbers in my peripheral vision

Suburban Legends: You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious, flush with the currency of cool

Suburban Legends: I was always turning out my empty pockets and when it came to you

Suburban Legends: When you hold me, it holds me together

Suburban Legends: And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

Suburban Legends: When I ended up back at our class reunion walking in with you

Suburban Legends: You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out

Suburban Legends: I am standing in a 1950s gymnasium and I can still see you now

Suburban Legends: I know that you still remember we were born to be national treasures

Suburban Legends: When you told me we'd get back together

Suburban Legends: And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

Suburban Legends: I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it

Suburban Legends: You don't knock anymore and my whole life's ruined

Suburban Legends: You don't knock anymore and I always knew it

Is It Over Now?: I slept all alone, you still wouldn't go

Is It Over Now?: You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor

Is It Over Now?: You search in every maiden's bed for something greater, baby

Is It Over Now?: "Come here," I whispered in your ear in your dream as you passеd out

Is It Over Now?: Whеn you lost control, red blood, white snow

Is It Over Now?: And did you think I didn't see you? There were flashing lights

Is It Over Now?: I think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running

Is It Over Now?: If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her

Is It Over Now?: You search in every model's bed for something greater, baby

Is It Over Now?: I was hoping you'd be there and say the one thing I've been wanting, but no

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): Now POV of you and me, similar Iraq

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): I don’t hate you, but I hate to critique, overrate you

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): These beats of a dark heart, use basslines to replace you

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): Hey, remember when you tried to write me off? Remember when you thought I’d take a loss?

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): Don’t you remember? You thought that I would need you

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): Oh, wait, you got amnesia

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): And you gotta live with the bad blood now

Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): You forgive, you forget, but you never lit it go

Sweeter Than Fiction: Only sound, only sound that you hear is "No"

Sweeter Than Fiction: You never saw it coming, slipped when you started running, and now you've come undone

Sweeter Than Fiction: Seen you fall, seen you crawl on your knees, seen you lost in a crowd, seen your colors fade

Sweeter Than Fiction: Someday you won't remember this pain you thought would last forever and ever

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, ten feet tall

Sweeter Than Fiction: All you got, all you got are your shattered hopes

Sweeter Than Fiction: They never saw it coming, you hit the ground running, and now you're onto something

Sweeter Than Fiction: Proved me right, proved me right when you proved them wrong

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, next to me

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, "Look at you now, look at you now, now"

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, "You made us proud, you made us proud, proud"

Sweeter Than Fiction: You know that I'll be there time and again 'cause I loved you when

Sweeter Than Fiction: Only sound, only sound that you heard was "No"

'reputation'

...Ready For It?: I, I, I see how this is gonna go, touch me, and you'll never be alone

...Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby

...Ready For It?: I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time

End Game: Ah, and you heard about me, ooh, I got some big enemies

End Game: Big reputation, big reputation, ooh, you and me would be a big conversation

End Game: Ah, and I heard about you, ooh, you like the bad ones, too

End Game: You so dope, don't overdose, I'm so stoked, I need a toast

End Game: I'm one call away whenever you need me

End Game: You love it, I love it too 'cause you're my type

End Game: You hold me down and I protect you with my life

End Game: I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be just another ex-love you don't wanna see

End Game: I don't wanna miss you like the other girls do

End Game: I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna be drinking on a beach with you all over me

End Game: And you understand the good and bad end up in the songs

End Game: For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease

End Game: I hit you like bang, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

End Game: Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy

End Game: And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul

End Game: You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks

I Did Something Bad: This is how the world works, you gotta leave before you get left

I Did Something Bad: They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one

Don't Blame Me: Don't blame me, love made me crazy, if it doesn't, you ain't doing it right

Don't Blame Me: In the darkest little paradise, shaking, pacing, I just need you

Don't Blame Me: For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

Don't Blame Me: My name is whatever you decide and I'm just gonna call you mine

Don't Blame Me: And baby, for you, I would fall from grace just to touch your face

Don't Blame Me: If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay

Don't Blame Me: I get so high, oh, every time you're, every time you're loving me, you're loving me

Don't Blame Me: Trip of my life, oh, every time you're, every time you're touching me, you're touching me

Delicate: My reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me

Delicate: We can't make any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

Delicate: Dive bar on the east side, where you at?

Delicate: Come here, you can meet me in the back

Delicate: Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you

Delicate: 'Cause I like you

Delicate: Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head?

Delicate: Third floor on the west side, me and you, handsome, you're a mansion with a view

Delicate: Do the girls back home touch you like I do?

Delicate: Sometimes I wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me?

Delicate: Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

Look What You Made Me Do: The role you made me play of the fool, no, I don't like you

Look What You Made Me Do: I don't like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie

Look What You Made Me Do: You said the gun was mine, isn't cool, no, I don't like you

Look What You Made Me Do: Ooh, look what you made me do, look what you made me do, look what you just made me do, look what you just made me do

Look What You Made Me Do: You asked me for a place to sleep, locked me out and threw a feast, what?

Look What You Made Me Do: Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

So It Goes...: See you in the dark, all eyes on you, my magician, all eyes on us

So It Goes...: You make everyone disappear, and cut me into pieces

So It Goes...: Back against the wall, trippin', trip, trippin' when you're gone

So It Goes...: 'Cause we break down a little, but when you get me alone, it's so simple

So It Goes...: 'Cause baby, I know what you know, we can feel it

So It Goes...: You know I'm not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you, so it goes

So It Goes...: Met you in a bar, all eyes on me, your illusionist

So It Goes...: Wear you like a necklace, I'm so chill, but you make me jealous

So It Goes...: You did a number on me, but, honestly, baby, who's counting?

So It Goes...: I did a number on you, but, honestly, baby, who's counting?

Gorgeous: You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk

Gorgeous: You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong

Gorgeous: You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much, I hate you so much

Gorgeous: Whiskey on ice, Sunset and Vine, you've ruined my life, by not being mine

Gorgeous: You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face 'cause look at your face

Gorgeous: And I'm so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can I say, you're gorgeous

Gorgeous: You should take it as a compliment that I'm talking to everyone here but you

Gorgeous: And you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room

Gorgeous: If you got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her but if you're single that's honestly worse

Gorgeous: 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts, honey, it hurts

Gorgeous: You make me so happy it turns back to sad

Gorgeous: You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

Gorgeous: Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats alone, unless you wanna come along?

Getaway Car: But I didn't mean it and you didn't see it

Getaway Car: You were driving the getaway car, we were flying, but we'd never get far

Getaway Car: Think about the place where you first met me

Getaway Car: But you weren't thinking and I was just drinking

Getaway Car: It hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart

Getaway Car: It's no surprise I turned you in, 'cause us traitors never win

Getaway Car: I'm in a getaway car, I left you in the motel bar

Getaway Car: I put the money in a bag and stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me

King Of My Heart: Now you try on calling me "baby" like trying on clothes

King Of My Heart: And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat

King Of My Heart: 'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars with their Range Rovers and their Jaguars never took me quite where you do

King Of My Heart: And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King Of My Heart: And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King Of My Heart: And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting, waiting

King Of My Heart: Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff, baby, all at once, this is enough

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I, I loved you in secret, first sight, yeah, we love without reason

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Oh, 25 years old, oh, how were you to know and

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: My, my love had been frozen, deep blue, but you painted me golden

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Oh, and you held me close, oh, how was I to know

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it, I had a bad feeling

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Oh, 'cause it's gravity, oh, keeping you with me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I'd kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I'd hold you as the water rushes in if I could dance with you again

Dress: They got no idea about me and you

Dress: There is an indentation in the shape of you

Dress: My hands are shaking from holding back from you

Dress: I don't want you like a best friend

Dress: Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off

Dress: I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk

Dress: Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

Dress: Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

Dress: You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: And there are no rules when you show up here

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: So why'd you have to rain on my parade?

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Because you break them, I had to take them away

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: There I was giving you a second chance but you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you, get you on the phone and mind-twist you

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately, if only you weren't so shady

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: And here's to you, 'cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do

Call It What You Want: So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

Call It What You Want: Yeah, you know I did one thing right

Call It What You Want: Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?" Yes

Call It What You Want: Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it

New Year's Day: Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me from the night before

New Year's Day: But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

New Year's Day: I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

New Year's Day: You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

New Year's Day: I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and you're crawling home

New Year's Day: Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

New Year's Day: Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you, and I will hold on to you

New Year's Day: Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me forevermore

'Lover'

I Forgot That You Existed: How many days did I spend thinking 'bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong?

I Forgot That You Existed: Lived in the shade you were throwing 'til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone

I Forgot That You Existed: And I couldn't get away from you, in my feelings more than Drake so yeah

I Forgot That You Existed: I forgot that you existed, and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't

I Forgot That You Existed: I forgot that you existed, it isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference

I Forgot That You Existed: I forgot that you got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down, down, down

I Forgot That You Existed: And I would've stuck around for you, would've fought the whole town, so yeah

I Forgot That You Existed: But you showed who you are, then one magical night

I Forgot That You Existed: I forgot that you sent me a clear message

I Forgot That You Existed: I forgot that you existed, I did, I did, I did

Cruel Summer: Fever dream high in the quiet of the night, you know that I caught it

Cruel Summer: Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it

Cruel Summer: I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Cruel Summer: What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

Cruel Summer: But ooh, it's a cruel summer with you

Cruel Summer: I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Cruel Summer: And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Cruel Summer: I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you

Cruel Summer: I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

Lover: And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Lover: Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Lover: Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?

Lover: Take me out and take me home, you're my, my, my, my, my lover

Lover: And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

Lover: I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want them all

Lover: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

Lover: All's well that ends well to end up with you

Lover: And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

Lover: You're my, my, my, my, oh, you're my, my, my, my, darling, you're my, my, my, my, lover

The Man: Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you

The Man: And it's all good if you're bad, and it's okay if you're mad

The Archer: I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

The Archer: Help me hold on to you

The Archer: Can you see right through me?

The Archer: You could stay, you could stay

I Think He Knows: I want you, bless my soul, and I ain't gotta tell him, I think he knows

I Think He Knows: I want you, bless my, I want you, bless my, I want you, bless my, I want you, bless my soul

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: You know I adore you, I'm crazier for you than I was at 16, lost in a film scene

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: It's you and me, that's my whole world

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: It's you and me, there's nothing like this

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Voted most likely to run away with you

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Leave with my head hung, you are the only one who seems to care

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: And I don't want you to go, I don't really wanna fight, 'cause nobody's gonna win, I think you should come home

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: And I don't want you to go, I don't really wanna fight, 'cause nobody's gonna win, I just think you should know

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: And I'll never let you go 'cause I know this is a fight that someday we're gonna win

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Oh, I just thought you should know, you should know

Paper Rings: Went home and tried to stalk you on the Internet

Paper Rings: The wine is cold like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Paper Rings: Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Paper Rings: Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night

Paper Rings: I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Paper Rings: Darling, you're the one I want

Paper Rings: Oh, you're the one I want

Paper Rings: When you jumped in first, I went in too, I'm with you even if it makes me blue

Paper Rings: Kiss you once 'cause I know you had a long night

Paper Rings: Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be all right

Paper Rings: Three times 'cause you waited your whole life

Paper Rings: I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too

Cornelia Street: I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

Cornelia Street: And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

Cornelia Street: Back when we were card sharks, playing games, I thought you were leading me on

Cornelia Street: I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street before you even knew I was gone

Cornelia Street: But then you called, showed your hand, I turned around before I hit the tunnel, sat on the roof, you and I

Cornelia Street: You hold my hand on the street, walk me back to that apartment

Cornelia Street: I hope I never lose you, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I get drunk but it's not enough 'cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I see you everywhere, the only thing we share is this small town

Death By A Thousand Cuts: You said it was a great love, one for the ages

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Trying to find a part of me you didn't take up

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Gave you too much but it wasn't enough

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I get drunk, but it's not enough 'cause you're not my baby

London Boy: And you know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey

London Boy: You know I love a London boy

London Boy: He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you

London Boy: You know I love a London boy, boy, I fancy you

London Boy: You can find me in the pub, we are watching rugby with his school friends

London Boy: Just wanna be with you, wanna be with you

London Boy: Just wanna be with you, wanna be with you, I fancy you, I fancy you

Soon You'll Get Better: In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared

Soon You'll Get Better: Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you

Soon You'll Get Better: And I say to you, ooh, soon you'll get better, ooh, soon you'll get better, ooh, you'll get better soon, 'cause you have to

Soon You'll Get Better: You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal

Soon You'll Get Better: What am I supposed to do if there's no you?

False God: Remember how I said I'd die for you?

False God: Remember how I'd fly to you?

False God: And I can't talk to you when you're like this

False God: I'm New York City, I still do it for you, babe

False God: They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith, blind faith

False God: I go there when you touch me, honey, hell is when I fight with you

False God: Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you

False God: And you can't talk to me when I'm like this, daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

False God: You’re the West Village, you still do it for me, baby

You Need To Calm Down: You are somebody that I don't know, but you're taking shots at me like it's Patrón

You Need To Calm Down: Say it in the street, that's a knock-out, but you say it in a tweet, that's a cop-out

You Need To Calm Down: You need to calm down, you're being too loud

You Need To Calm Down: You need to just stop, like, can you just not step on my gown? You need to calm down

You Need To Calm Down: You are somebody that we don't know, but you're coming at my friends like a missile

You Need To Calm Down: Why are you mad when you could be GLAAD?

You Need To Calm Down: Sunshine on the street at the parade, but you would rather be in the dark ages

You Need To Calm Down: You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace and control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

You Need To Calm Down: Like, can you just not step on his gown? You need to calm down

You Need To Calm Down: And we see you over there on the Internet

You Need To Calm Down: But we figured you out, we all know now, we all got crowns, you need to calm down

You Need To Calm Down: Like, can you just not step on our gowns? You need to calm down

Afterglow: I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

Afterglow: Put you in jail for something you didn't do

Afterglow: But it's not what I meant, sorry that I hurt you

Afterglow: I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you

Afterglow: I don’t wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you

Afterglow: It's so excruciating to see you low

Afterglow: Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

Afterglow: I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Afterglow: Tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine

Afterglow: Tell me that I'm all you want even when I break your heart

ME!: I promise that you'll never find another like me

ME!: And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

ME!: You're the only one of you, baby, that's the fun of you

ME!: I know you never get just what you see, but I will never bore you, baby

ME!: And when we had that fight out in the rain, you ran after me and called my name

ME!: I never want to see you walk away

ME!: I'm the only one of me, let me keep you company, oh

ME!: And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me

ME!: Girl, there ain't no "I" in "team" but you know there is a "me"

ME!: And you can't spell "awesome" without "me"

It's Nice To Have A Friend: Lost my gloves, you give me one

It's Nice To Have A Friend: Video games, you pass me a note

It's Nice To Have A Friend: You been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

It's Nice To Have A Friend: Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

It's Nice To Have A Friend: Call my bluff, call you "Babe"

Daylight: I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye

Daylight: I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

Daylight: I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

Daylight: Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

Daylight: And I can still see it all in my mind, all of you, all of me intertwined

Daylight: You gotta step into the daylight and let it go

Daylight: I just think that you are what you love

'folklore'

The 1: I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

The 1: You know the greatest films of all time were never made

The 1: I guess you never know, never know, and if you wanted me, you really should've showed

The 1: And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow, and it's all right now

The 1: But we were something, don't you think so?

The 1: And if my wishes came true, it would've been you

The 1: But it would've been fun if you would've been the one

The 1: I had this dream you're doing cool shit, having adventures on your own

The 1: You meet some woman on the internet and take her home

The 1: You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

The 1: I guess you never know, never know, and it's another day waking up alone

The 1: I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different would everything be different today?

The 1: We were something, don't you think so? Rosé flowing with your chosen family

Cardigan: When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cardigan: But I knew you, dancing in your Levi's, drunk under a streetlight

Cardigan: I knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better

Cardigan: You put me on and said I was your favorite

Cardigan: But I knew you, playing hide-and-seek and giving me your weekends

Cardigan: I knew you, your heartbeat on the High Line, once in twenty lifetimes

Cardigan: You drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding

Cardigan: 'Cause I knew you, stepping on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain

Cardigan: I knew you, tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy

Cardigan: I knew you, leaving like a father, running like water

Cardigan: But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

Cardigan: I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

Cardigan: I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Cardigan: I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

Cardigan: And you'd be standing in my front porch light

Cardigan: And I knew you'd come back to me, you'd come back to me, and you'd come back to me, and you'd come back

Exile: I can see you standing, honey, with his arms around your body

Exile: And it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it

Exile: You're not my homeland anymore so what am I defending now?

Exile: You were my town, now I'm in exile, seeing you out

Exile: I can see you staring, honey, like he's just your understudy, like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Exile: You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seeing you out

Exile: So step right out, there is no amount of crying I can do for you

Exile: You didn't even hear me out / You didn't even hear me out

Exile: You never gave a warning sign / I gave so many signs

Exile: I couldn't turn things around / You never turned things around

Exile: So many signs, so many signs, you didn't even see the signs

My Tears Ricochet: And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

My Tears Ricochet: Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

My Tears Ricochet: 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'til my dying day

My Tears Ricochet: And you're the hero flying around, saving face

My Tears Ricochet: And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

My Tears Ricochet: You know I didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene

My Tears Ricochet: You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me

My Tears Ricochet: 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

My Tears Ricochet: And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones

My Tears Ricochet: And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky

My Tears Ricochet: And when you can't sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies

My Tears Ricochet: You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

My Tears Ricochet: You turned into your worst fears

My Tears Ricochet: And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years

Mirrorball: I want you to know, I'm a mirrorball

Mirrorball: I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Mirrorball: I'll get you out on the floor, shimmering beautiful

Mirrorball: You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you

Mirrorball: But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you

Mirrorball: You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers

Mirrorball: I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me

Mirrorball: I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

Seven: And though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you

Seven: Your braids like a pattern, love you to the Moon and to Saturn

Seven: And I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted

Seven: And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry

August: Whispers of "Are you sure?" Never have I ever before

August: August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'cause you were never mine

August: Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you

August: To live for the hope of it all, canceled plans just in case you'd call

August: 'Cause you weren't mine to lose, you weren't mine to lose, oh

August: 'Cause you were never mine, never mine, but do you remember

August: And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call

This Is Me Trying: I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

This Is Me Trying: I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

This Is Me Trying: It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

This Is Me Trying: You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

Illicit Affairs: Make sure nobody sees you leave, hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Illicit Affairs: Tell your friends you're out for a run, you’ll be flushed when you return

Illicit Affairs: Take the road less traveled by, tell yourself you can always stop

Illicit Affairs: Leave the perfume on the shelf that you picked out just for him

Illicit Affairs: So you leave no trace behind, like you don’t even exist

Illicit Affairs: And you wanna scream, don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"

Illicit Affairs: Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

Illicit Affairs: You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

Illicit Affairs: Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

Illicit Affairs: You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

Illicit Affairs: And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times

Invisible String: Teal was the color of your shirt when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop you used to work at to make a little money

Invisible String: And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

Invisible String: You ate at my favorite spot for dinner

Invisible String: One single thread of gold tied me to you

Invisible String: Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park

Mad Woman: What did you think I'd say to that?

Mad Woman: They strike to kill, and you know I will, you know I will

Mad Woman: What do you sing on your drive home?

Mad Woman: Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn?

Mad Woman: Does she smile or does she mouth, "Fuck you forever"?

Mad Woman: Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy, what about that?

Mad Woman: And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry

Mad Woman: No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that

Mad Woman: And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out and you find something to wrap your noose around

Mad Woman: They say, "Move on," but you know I won't

Mad Woman: And women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you

Mad Woman: It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

Mad Woman: I'm taking my time, taking my time, 'cause you took everything from me

Mad Woman: Watching you climb, watching you climb over people like me

Mad Woman: No one likes a mad woman, what a shame she went mad, you made her like that

Epiphany: And some things you just can't speak about

Epiphany: With you I serve, with you I fall down, down

Epiphany: Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out

Epiphany: Only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany

Epiphany: Just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you've seen

Betty: Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom but I think it's 'cause of me

Betty: You can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true

Betty: The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you

Betty: But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me?

Betty: Would you tell me to go fuck myself, or lead me to the garden?

Betty: In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?

Betty: I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you

Betty: I hate the crowds, you know that, plus, I saw you dance with him

Betty: I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you

Betty: Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

Betty: Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again

Betty: The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you

Betty: Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me? Will you love me?

Betty: Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?

Betty: If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it?

Betty: Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you

Peace: No, I could never give you peace

Peace: All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret

Peace: The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me

Peace: Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Peace: You paint dreamscapes on the wall

Peace: And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches

Peace: Give you my wild, give you a child

Peace: Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other

Peace: I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me

Hoax: Don't want no other shade of blue but you

Hoax: You know I left a part of me back in New York

Hoax: You knew the hero died so what's the movie for?

Hoax: You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart

Hoax: You knew the password so I let you in the door

Hoax: You knew you won so what's the point of keeping score?

Hoax: But what you did was just as dark, darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart

Hoax: My broken drum, you have beaten my heart

The Lakes: I don't belong, and, my beloved, neither do you

The Lakes: 'Cause I haven't moved in years and I want you right here

The Lakes: I'm setting off, but not without my muse, no, not without you

'evermore'

Willow: Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife

Willow: The more that you say, the less I know, wherever you stray, I follow

Willow: I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man

Willow: Head on the pillow, I can feel you sneaking in

Willow: As if you were a mythical thing, like you were a trophy or a champion ring

Willow: You know that my train could take you home

Willow: Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

Willow: Show me the places where the others gave you scars

Champagne Problems: You booked the night train for a reason so you could sit there in this hurt

Champagne Problems: Bustling crowds or silent sleepers, you're not sure which is worse

Champagne Problems: Left you out there standing crestfallen on the landing

Champagne Problems: You told your family for a reason, you couldn't keep it in

Champagne Problems: Dom Pérignon, you brought it, no crowd of friends applauded

Champagne Problems: You had a speech, you're speechless

Champagne Problems: I never was ready so I watch you go

Champagne Problems: Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'til someone's on their knees and asks you

Champagne Problems: But you'll find the real thing instead

Champagne Problems: Never leave you standing crestfallen on the landing

Gold Rush: Everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

Gold Rush: Everybody wants you but I don't like a gold rush

Gold Rush: At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit

Gold Rush: I can't dare to dream about you anymore

Gold Rush: At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit

'Tis The Damn Season: If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you

'Tis The Damn Season: It's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but I felt it when I passed you

'Tis The Damn Season: There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

'Tis The Damn Season: But if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me

'Tis The Damn Season: So we could call it even, you could call me "babe" for the weekend

'Tis The Damn Season: And it always leads to you and my hometown

'Tis The Damn Season: You can run, but only so far

'Tis The Damn Season: I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave

'Tis The Damn Season: But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me

'Tis The Damn Season: I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

Tolerate It: I sit and watch you reading with your head low

Tolerate It: I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed

Tolerate It: I sit and watch you, I notice everything you do or don't do

Tolerate It: You're so much older and wiser, and I

Tolerate It: Lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it

Tolerate It: I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

Tolerate It: I greet you with a battle hero's welcome

Tolerate It: While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

Tolerate It: I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

Tolerate It: You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins

Tolerate It: Gain the weight of you then lose it, believe me, I could do it

Happiness: Showed you all of my hiding spots

Happiness: There'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you

Happiness: Haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime

Happiness: I hope she'll be your beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you

Happiness: You haven't met the new me yet

Happiness: I can't make it go away by making you a villain

Happiness: No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him, too

Happiness: But now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head

Happiness: After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that

Happiness: All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

Happiness: You haven't met the new me yet and I think she'll give you that

Happiness: There'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you, too

Dorothea: Hey, Dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me?

Dorothea: You got shiny friends since you left town

Dorothea: A tiny screen's the only place I see you now and I got nothing but well-wishes for you

Dorothea: Ooh, this place is the same as it ever was, ooh, but you don't like it that way

Dorothea: And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know, you know, you'll always know me, Dorothea

Dorothea: Ooh, you'rе a queen selling dreams, selling makeup and magazines

Dorothea: Ooh, from you I'd buy anything

Dorothea: But are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers, well

Dorothea: Ooh, I guess I'll never know, ooh, and you'll go on with the show

Coney Island: Break my soul in two looking for you but you're right here

Coney Island: If I can't relate to you anymore, then who am I related to?

Coney Island: Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

Coney Island: Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Coney Island: If I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me

Coney Island: Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Coney Island: Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Coney Island: Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring

Coney Island: Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock

Coney Island: Did I leave you hanging every single day?

Coney Island: Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake, happy birthday

Coney Island: Sorry for not making you my, making you my, making you my centerfold

Ivy: I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones in a faith forgotten land

Ivy: Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

Ivy: My house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I'm covered in you

Ivy: I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

Ivy: It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it

Ivy: It's the goddamn fight of my life and you started it, you started it

Ivy: And now I'm covered in you, in you, now I'm covered in you, in you

Cowboy Like Me: And you asked me to dance but I said, "Dancing is a dangerous game"

Cowboy Like Me: You're a cowboy like me, never wanted love, just a fancy car

Cowboy Like Me: You had some tricks up your sleeve

Cowboy Like Me: You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark

Cowboy Like Me: You're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars

Cowboy Like Me: Hustling for the good life, never thought I'd meet you here

Cowboy Like Me: And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town

Cowboy Like Me: Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

Long Story Short: And you passed right by, I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

Long Story Short: Now I'm all about you, I'm all about you

Long Story Short: Yeah, yeah, I'm all about you, yeah, yeah

Long Story Short: No more keeping score, now I just keep you warm

Long Story Short: Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things

Long Story Short: Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

Marjorie: Never be so kind, you forget to be clever

Marjorie: Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

Marjorie: And if I didn't know better, I'd think you were talking to me now

Marjorie: If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still around

Marjorie: You're alive, you're alive in my head

Marjorie: You're alive, so alive

Marjorie: Never be so politе, you forget your power

Marjorie: Nevеr wield such power, you forget to be polite

Marjorie: And if I didn't know better, I'd think you were listening to me now

Marjorie: You loved the amber skies so much

Marjorie: Long limbs and frozen swims, you'd always go past where our feet could touch

Marjorie: I should've asked you questions, I should've asked you how to be, asked you to write it down for me

Marjorie: Should've kept every grocery store receipt, 'cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

Marjorie: Watched as you signed your name, Marjorie

Marjorie: All your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me

Marjorie: And if I didn't know better, I'd think you were singing to me now

Marjorie: I know better, but I still feel you all around

Marjorie: I know better, but you're still around

Closure: It wasn't right the way it all went down, looks like you know that now

Closure: It cut deep to know you, right to the bone

Closure: I can feel you smoothing me over

Closure: Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me

Evermore: And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you

Evermore: In the cracks of light, I dreamed of you

Evermore: I swear, you were there

Right Where You Left Me: But I'm right where you left me

Right Where You Left Me: I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right Where You Left Me: Some perspective but I sat and stared, right where you left me

Right Where You Left Me: You left me no, you left me no, you left me no choice but to stay here forever

Right Where You Left Me: Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Right Where You Left Me: Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Right Where You Left Me: Breakups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

Right Where You Left Me: And you're sitting in front of me at the restaurant when I was still the one you want

Right Where You Left Me: You told me that you met someone

Right Where You Left Me: I'm sure that you got a wife out there

Right Where You Left Me: And it's been so long but if you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me

It's Time To Go: When the dinner is cold and the chatter gets old, you ask for the tab

It's Time To Go: You know when it's time to go

It's Time To Go: Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

It's Time To Go: And you know in your soul, and you know in your soul when it's time to go

It's Time To Go: You know, you know, you know, you know when it's time to go

It's Time To Go: So then you go, then you go, you just go

'Midnights'

Lavender Haze: Staring at the ceiling with you, oh, you don’t ever say too much

Lavender Haze: And you don’t really read into my melancholia

Lavender Haze: I been under scrutiny, you handled it beautifully

Lavender Haze: They’re bringing up my history, but you weren’t even listening

Maroon: Laughing with my feet in your lap like you were my closest friend

Maroon: You say, “Your roommate’s cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that’s how,” I see you every day now

Maroon: And I chose you, the one I was dancing with in New York

Maroon: The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me

Maroon: You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway

Maroon: Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us

Maroon: I feel you, no matter what, the rubies that I gave up

Maroon: And I lost you, the one I was dancing with in New York

Anti-Hero: One day, I’ll watch as you’re leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time

Anti-Hero: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?

Anti-Hero: One day, I’ll watch as you’re leaving and life will lose all its meaning for the last time

Snow On The Beach: But it might have just been you passing by unbeknownst to me

Snow On The Beach: And time can’t stop me quite like you did

Snow On The Beach: I’m unglued, thanks to you

Snow On The Beach: You wanting me tonight feels impossible

Snow On The Beach: And it’s fine to fake it ‘til you make it, ‘til you do, ‘til it’s true

Snow On The Beach: Now I’m all for you like Janet

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I hear it in your voice, you’re smoking with your boys

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I waited ages to see you there

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I search the party of better bodies just to learn that you never cared

You’re On Your Own, Kid: You’re on your own, kid, you always have been

You’re On Your Own, Kid: Everything you lose is a step you take

You’re On Your Own, Kid: You’ve got no reason to be afraid

You’re On Your Own, Kid: You’re on your own, kid, yeah, you can face this

Question...?: Before you painted all my nights a color I have searched for since

Question...?: Can I ask you a question?

Question...?: Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room, and every single one of your friends was making fun of you?

Question...?: Then what did you do?

Question...?: Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Question...?: Did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?

Question...?: Do you wish you could still touch her?

Question...?: Half-moon eyes, bad surprise, did you realize out of time?

Question...?: She was on your mind with some dickhead guy that you saw that night, but you were on something

Question...?: And you’re not sure and I don’t know

Question...?: And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her?

Vigilante Shit: You did some bad things but I’m the worst of them

Vigilante Shit: I don’t start shit but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit: She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

Vigilante Shit: She don’t start shit but she can tell you how it ends

Bejeweled: Didn’t notice you walking all over my peace of mind in the shoes I gave you as a present

Bejeweled: Putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five

Bejeweled: And when I meet the band, they ask, “Do you have a man?”

Bejeweled: I made you my world, have you heard I can reclaim the land?

Bejeweled: And I miss you but I miss sparkling

Bejeweled: And you can try to change my mind but you might have to wait in line

Labyrinth: I’ll be getting over you my whole life

Labyrinth: You know how scared I am of elevators

Labyrinth: I thought the plane was going down, how’d you turn it right around?

Labyrinth: You would break your back to make me break a smile

Labyrinth: You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that

Karma: You’re talking shit for the hell of it, addicted to betrayal but you’re relevant, you’re terrified to look down

Karma: ‘Cause if you dare, you’ll see the glare of everyone you burned just to get there

Karma: And I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn’t know what I mean

Karma: Karma’s a relaxing thought, aren’t you envious that for you, it’s not?

Karma: Don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?

Karma: Karma’s gonna track you down, step by step, from town to town

Sweet Nothing: Outside, they’re push and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming

Sweet Nothing: All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

Sweet Nothing: You say, “What a mind,” this happens all the time

Sweet Nothing: All that you ever wanted from me was nothing

Sweet Nothing: And the voice that implore, “You should be doing more,” to you I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it

Mastermind: You and I ended up in the same room at the same time

Mastermind: To assess the equation of you, checkmate, I couldn’t lose

Mastermind: What if I told you none of it was accidental and the first night that you saw me nothing was gonna stop me

Mastermind: What if I told you I’m a mastermind and now you’re mine?

Mastermind: You see, all the wisest women had to do it this way

Mastermind: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Mastermind: And the first night that you saw me, I knew I wanted your body

Mastermind: So I told you none if it was accidental and the first night that you saw me nothing was gonna stop me

Mastermind: You knew the entire time, you knew that I’m a mastermind and now you’re mine

Mastermind: Yeah, all you did was smile ‘cause I’m a mastermind

The Great War: Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep talked

The Great War: My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

The Great War: You drew up some good faith treaties

The Great War: You said I have to trust more freely but diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

The Great War: Telling me to punish you for things you never did so I justified it

The Great War: That was the night I nearly lost you, I really thought I lost you

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: You were bigger than the whole sky, you were more than just a short time

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: I’m never gonna meet what could’ve been, would’ve been, what should’ve been you, what could’ve been, would’ve been you

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: Did some force take you because I didn’t pray?

Paris: Turns out it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago

Paris: Did you see the photos? No, I didn’t, but thanks, though

Paris: Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours

Paris: I want to brainwash you into loving me forever

Paris: I want to transport you to somewhere the culture’s clever

High Infidelity: I didn’t know you were keeping count

High Infidelity: You said I was freeloading

High Infidelity: Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

High Infidelity: At the house, lonely, good money, I’d pay if you’d just know me

High Infidelity: You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love

High Infidelity: Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

High Infidelity: Oh, there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love

High Infidelity: I didn’t know you were keeping count, but, oh, you were keeping count

Glitch: You don’t live in my part of town but maybe I’ll see you out some weekend

Glitch: Five seconds later, I’m fastening myself to you with a stitch

Glitch: I was supposed to sweat you out

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: If you would’ve blinked, then I would’ve looked away at the first glance

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: If you tasted poison, you could’ve spit me out at the first chance

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: And if I was a child, did it matter if you got to wash your hands?

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, if you’d never looked my way

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: And now that I know, I wish you’d left me wondering

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: If you never touched me, I would’ve gone along with the righteous

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: And if you never saved me from boredom, I could’ve gone on as I was

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: But, lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Oh, you’re a crisis of my faith

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: I regret you all the time

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: I can’t let this go, I fight with you in my sleep

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Years of tearing down our banners, you and I

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts

Dear Reader: Dear reader, if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one

Dear Reader: And if you don’t recognize yourself that means you did it right

Dear Reader: Dear reader, bend when you can, snap when you have to

Dear Reader: Dear reader, you don’t have to answer just ‘cause they asked you

Dear Reader: Dear reader, when you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss

Dear Reader: These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free

Dear Reader: You wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking

Dear Reader: No one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire

Dear Reader: You should find another guiding light, guiding light, but I shine so bright

Dear Reader: You should find another, you should find another, find another, you should find another

Hits Different: I washed my hands of us at the club, you made a mess of me

Hits Different: I pictured you with other girls in love then threw up on the street

Hits Different: Like waiting for a bus that never shows, you just start walking on

Hits Different: They say that if it’s right, you know

Hits Different: It hits different, it hits different ‘cause it’s you

Hits Different: You were the one that I loved, don’t need another metaphor, it’s simple enough

Hits Different: In the good in the world, you once believed in me

Hits Different: And I felt you and I held you for a while

Hits Different: Is that your key in the door, is it okay? Is it you?

You’re Losing Me: You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't"

You’re Losing Me: You might just have dealt the final blow

You’re Losing Me: Stop, you're losing me, stop, you're losing me, stop, you're losing me

You’re Losing Me: I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore for you 'cause you're losing me

You’re Losing Me: Every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes

You’re Losing Me: How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?

You’re Losing Me: I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

You’re Losing Me: My face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

You’re Losing Me: Now you're running down the hallway, you know what they all say

You’re Losing Me: Don't know what you got until it's gone

You’re Losing Me: 'Cause you're losing me, stop, 'cause you're losing me

You’re Losing Me: I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

You’re Losing Me: Fighting in only your army, front lines, don't you ignore me

You’re Losing Me: Pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her

You’re Losing Me: Choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): And she never leaving you alone, damn

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Got you waving pretty white flags, feenin' for that cash

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Thinking it'll save you, now you switching up ya behavior

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): It's okay, baby, you ain't gotta worry, karma never gets lazy

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Promise that you'll never endeavor with none lesser, ever, ever

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Karma's a relaxing thought / Karma's gonna hold you down

Other Songs written by Taylor

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: When you think of all the late nights, lame fights over the phone

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: And taught you the way you call me “baby”

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: All of the girls you loved before made you the one I’ve fallen for

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: Every dead-end street led you straight to me, now you’re all I need

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: I’m so thankful for all of the girls you loved before but I love you more

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: Now I call you “baby,” that’s why you’re so amazing

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: Your mother brought you up loyal and kind

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: Teenage love taught you there’s good in goodbye

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: Every woman you knew brought you here

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: I wanna teach you how forever feels like the girls you loved before

Beautiful Eyes: And sometimes I think of you late at night, I don't know why

Beautiful Eyes: I want to be somewhere where you are

Beautiful Eyes: You're here, your eyes are looking into mine, so baby, make me fly

Beautiful Eyes: 'Cause you're my lullaby so baby, come hold me tight

Beautiful Eyes: I want to be everything you need

Beautiful Eyes: Just as long as you're mine, I'll be your everything tonight

Beautiful Eyes: Let me love you, kiss you, oh baby, let me miss you

Beautiful Ghosts: Follow me home if you dare to, I wouldn't know where to lead you

Beautiful Ghosts: At least you have something, something to cling to

Beautiful Ghosts: But at least you have beautiful ghosts

Best Days Of Your Life: From the day we met 'til you were making me cry

Best Days Of Your Life: And it's just too bad you already had the best days, the best days of your life

Best Days Of Your Life: Ain't it a shame, a shame that every time you hear my name brought up in a casual conversation, you can't think straight?

Best Days Of Your Life: And ain't it sad, you can't forget about what we had?

Best Days Of Your Life: Take a look at her and do you like what you see or do you wish it was me?

Best Days Of Your Life: And does she know, know about the times you used to hold me

Best Days Of Your Life: Wrapped me in your arms and how you told me I'd be the only one?

Best Days Of Your Life: Yeah, someone told me once when you were out

Best Days Of Your Life: I was head over heels 'til you threw away us

Best Days Of Your Life: I heard you're gonna get married, have a nice little family

Best Days Of Your Life: So I've got my pride and she's got you

Best Days Of Your Life: You're gonna think of me, you're gonna think of me in your life

Carolina: And you didn’t see me here, no, they never did see me here

Carolina: Carolina pines, won’t you cover me?

Carolina: And you didn’t see me here, they never did see me here, no, you didn’t see me here, they never saw me

Christmas Must Be Something More: Would you still wanna kiss without mistletoe?

Christmas Must Be Something More: Tell me what would you find

Christmas Must Be Something More: You'd see that today holds something special

Christmas Must Be Something More: So here's something you should know that is for sure

Christmas Tree Farm: And everything is icy and blue, and you would be there too

Christmas Tree Farm: Under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow, and telling me, "I love you"

Christmas Tree Farm: And when I'm feeling alone, you remind me of home

Christmas Tree Farm: Oh, baby, baby, Merry Christmas, I love you

Christmas Tree Farm: Make every wish come true, I love you

Christmases When You Were Mine: Season's greetings, hope you're well

Christmases When You Were Mine: Well I'm doing all right if you were wondering, lately I can never tell

Christmases When You Were Mine: I know this shouldn't be a lonely time, but there were Christmases when you were mine

Christmases When You Were Mine: I've been doing fine without you, really

Christmases When You Were Mine: And everybody's here, except you, baby

Christmases When You Were Mine: But for me it's just a lonely time, 'cause there were Christmases when you were mine

Christmases When You Were Mine: I'll bet you got your mom another sweater

Christmases When You Were Mine: When you were putting up the lights this year, did you notice one less pair of hands?

Christmases When You Were Mine: But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight

Christmases When You Were Mine: 'Cause there were Christmases when you were mine, you were mine

Crazier: 'Til you opened the door, there's so much more, I'd never seen it before

Crazier: But you came along and you changed everything

Crazier: You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier

Crazier: You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

Crazier: I've watched from a distance as you made life your own

Crazier: And I wanted to know how that would feel, and you made it so real

Crazier: You showed me something that I couldn't see

Crazier: You opened my eyes and you made me believe

Crazier: Baby, you showed me what living is for, I don't wanna hide anymore

Eyes Open: Even when you're sleeping, keep your eyes open

Eyes Open: Everybody's waiting for you to break down

Eyes Open: So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard

Eyes Open: They never thought you'd make it this far

Eyes Open: But turn around, oh they've surrounded you

Eyes Open: It's a showdown and nobody comes to save you now

Eyes Open: But you've got something they don't, yeah you've got something they don't

Eyes Open: You've just gotta keep your eyes open

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'll call

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Give me something, oh, but you say nothing

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: I gave you something, but you gave me nothing

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: I see you around in all these empty faces

I Heart ?: Before you ask me if I'm all right, think about what I had to do

I Heart ?: And I'll bet you thought you beat me, wish you could only see

I Heart ?: I'll be fine if you just walk by, but you had to talk about why you were wrong and I was right

I Heart ?: But I can't believe you made me sit at home, cry like a baby

I Heart ?: And now you ask about you and I, there's no you and I, remember what you put me through

I Heart ?: And when you're home all alone at night, you'll still wonder why

I Heart ?: You took everything I had, oh baby

I Heart ?: I haven't thought about you and I, there's no you and I

I Heart ?: And I know someday you will wake up and smell the breakup

I Heart ?: It didn't go the way you planned

I Heart ?: And you'll know you didn't beat me when you look down and see

If This Was A Movie: Six months gone and I'm still reaching even though I know you're not there

If This Was A Movie: Maybe I've been going back too much lately when time stood still and I had you

If This Was A Movie: Come back, come back, come back to me like you would, you would if this was a movie

If This Was A Movie: Come back, come back, come back to me like you could, you could if you just said you're sorry

If This Was A Movie: But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

If This Was A Movie: Flashback to the night when you said to me, "Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you," not before I knew how much I had to lose

If This Was A Movie: If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on, I've been waiting for you ever since you've been gone

If This Was A Movie: And I just wanna see you back at my front door

If This Was A Movie: Come back, come back, come back to me like you would before you said, "It's not that easy"

If This Was A Movie: Before the fight, before I locked you out, but I take it all back now

If This Was A Movie: You'd be here by now, it's not the kind of ending you wanna see now

If This Was A Movie: Oh, I thought you'd be here by now, whoa, thought you'd be here by now

Only The Young: It keeps me awake, the look on your face the moment you heard the news

Only The Young: You're screaming inside and frozen in time, you did all that you could do

Only The Young: You were outnumbered this time

Only The Young: So everyday now, you brace for the sound you've only heard on TV

Only The Young: You go to class, scared, wondering where the best hiding spot would be

Only The Young: Don't say you're too tired to fight

Renegade: The shape of you was jagged and weak

Renegade: And if I would've known how many pieces you had crumbled into, I might've let them lay

Renegade: Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?

Renegade: You've come a long way, open the blinds, let me see your face

Renegade: You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody

Renegade: Is it insensitive for me to say, get your shit together so I can love you?

Renegade: Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything, or do you just not want to?

Renegade: You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself, but do you know you're demolishing me?

Renegade: And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave

Renegade: And if I would've known how sharp the pieces were you'd crumbled into, I might've let them lay

Safe And Sound: I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, "I'll never let you go"

Safe And Sound: I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"

Safe And Sound: You'll be all right, no one can hurt you now

Safe And Sound: Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Safe And Sound: Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire

Safe And Sound: Just close your eyes, you'll be all right

The Alcott: I get myself twisted in threads to meet you at The Alcott

The Alcott: I go to the corner in the back where you'd always be

The Alcott: And there you are sitting as usual with your golden notebook

The Alcott: And the last thing you wanted is the first thing I do

The Alcott: I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth

The Alcott: It's the last thing you wanted, it's the first thing I do

The Alcott: I tell you that I think I'm falling back in love with you

The Alcott: I sit there silently waiting for you to look up

The Alcott: I see you smile when you see it's me

The Alcott: How many times will I do this and you'll still believe?

The Alcott: It's the last thing you wanted / Tell me which side are you on, dear

The Alcott: It's the first thing you do / Give me some tips to forget you

The Alcott: You tell me your problems / Have I become one of your problems?

The Alcott: And I tell you the truth / Could it be easy this once?

The Alcott: It's the last thing you wanted / Everything that's mine is a landmine

The Alcott: It's the first thing I do / Did my love aid and abet you?

The Alcott: And I'll ruin it all over, I'll ruin it for you

The Alcott: I'll ruin it all over and over, like I always do / Why don't you

The Alcott: I'll ruin it for you / Shred my evening gown

The Alcott: It's the last thing I wanted / Tell me which side are you on, dear

The Alcott: It's the first thing I do / Give me some tips to forget you

The Alcott: I tell you my problems / Have I become one of your problems?

The Alcott: And you tell me the truth / Could it be easy this once?

The Alcott: I tell you that I think I'm falling back in love, back in love, back in love with you, back in love with you

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): I showed you my hand and you still let me win

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): And I know you could fall for a thousand kings and hearts that would give you a diamond ring

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): When I fold, you see the best in me

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): I’ve been played before if you hadn’t guessed

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): But you called my bluff and saw through all my tells and you went all in and we left together

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): And I know you think that what makes a king is gold, a palace, and diamond rings

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): When I folded, you saw the best in me

This Is What You Came For: Baby, this is what you came for, lightning strikes every time she moves

This Is What You Came For: And everybody's watching her, but she's looking at you

Two Is Better Than One: I remember what you wore on the first day

Two Is Better Than One: You came into my life and I thought, hey, you know this could be something

Two Is Better Than One: 'Cause everything you do and words you say, you know that it all takes my breath away

Two Is Better Than One: Maybe it's true that I can't live without you

Two Is Better Than One: And you've already got me coming undone

Two Is Better Than One: The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste, you make it hard for breathing

Two Is Better Than One: 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away, I think of you and everything's okay

Two Is Better Than One: And I'm thinking, ooh, I can't live without you

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You wake up, it's raining and it's Monday

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You're late again so get out the door

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: Sometimes you feel like running, find a whole new life and jump in

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: And you're feeling like you got nowhere to go, don't you know?

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can change your hair and you can change your clothes

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can change your mind that's just the way it goes

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can say goodbye and you can say hello but you'll always find your way back home

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can change your style, you can change your jeans

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can learn to fly and you can chase your dreams

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can laugh and cry but everybody knows, you'll always find your way back home

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: Your best friends, your little hometown, waiting up wherever you go now

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You know that you can't always turn around

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: Yeah, they know exactly who you are, where the real you is a superstar

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You know it's never too far away

Official Alternate Releases

Picture To Burn (2006 Version): That’s fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay, by the way

Better Than Revenge (2010 Version): They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me, but no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

Haunted (2010 Version): Oh, I'm holding my breath, won't lose you again

Haunted (2010 Version): Oh, I'm holding my breath, won't see you again

I Bet You Think About Me (Clean Version): Last time you felt free was when none of that mattered ‘cause you were with me

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): I’ll sing love songs to you when we’re eighty

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): See, I finally got you now, honey, I won’t let you fall

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): The girl in my story has always been you

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): I’d go down with the Titanic, it’s true, for you, lover

Mad Woman (Clean Version): Does she smile, or does she mouth, “I hate you forever”?

Betty (Clean Version): Would you tell me to go straight to hell or lead me to the garden?

Gold Rush (Clean Version): At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian wit

Gold Rush (Clean Version): At dinner parties, I won’t call you out on your contrarian wit

Ivy (Clean Version): It’s a violent blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it

Ivy (Clean Version): It’s the fiercest fight of my life and you started it, you started it

Maroon (Clean Version): You say, “Your roommate’s cheapest screw-top rosé, that’s how”

Anti-Hero (feat. Bleachers): Taylor, you’ll be fine

Question...? (Clean Version): She was on your mind with some meathead guy that you saw that night

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): I don’t start it but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): She don’t start it but she can tell you how it ends

Karma (Clean Version): You flip the script for the hell of it

#taylor swift #lyrics #taylorswiftandx #lyric parallels #you

[louiseleblancdiggory]

the last great american dynasty?

Ok...... So this is a little bit different from what I usually write but this is because it’s only the very beginning. This particular Rowan and Aelin’s story fits a bunch of TS songs, so I’ll have another part explaining their relationship since the beginning!! Enjoy this little thing tho

The Last Great American Dynasty

--

“Holiday house? This place looks like a tomb.”

“It has been closed for twenty years, that’s why.”

Kiara eyed her best friend, rolling her eyes at him. She knew that the mansion had been closed since her great grandma and great grandpa had died, and that no one from her family really bothered going there. Her grandma, Aurora, had spent her whole childhood in that house and when her parents passed away, it was too hard for her to move in once she inherit half of the house.

“No one from your family wanted it?”

“Not really.” Kiara replied distractedly, looking over the old furniture and paintings. “My parents passed away when I was young, and so I was raised by my grandma, but you already know all of that. When my great grandparents passed away, she was too hurt to even come back here. Granduncle Nino usually took care of everything, but I don’t think he ever stepped inside again. He died about five years ago.”

“And last year when your grandma died…”

“The house went for the last Whitethorn-Galathynius.” Kiara smiled at Gareth. “Me.”

He snorted, taking the sheets out of some tables and chairs in the house’s library. “Sometimes I forget your family is rich rich.”

“For generations. The wealth grew significantly when my great grandpa opened the GW industries and my great grandma became a famous artist.”

“Aelin Galathynius…” Gareth whistled, looking at one of the paintings. “Aelin Galathynius was your great grandmother.”

“The talent for painting certainly didn’t come from my father’s side of the family.”

“Aelin must be turning in her grave because of you comparing your shitty drawings with her beautiful sculptures and complex paintings.” Gareth joked, a saccharine smile on his face.

Kiara laughed, knowing that he wasn’t serious. Gareth had been her best friend since the first day of her freshman year in college. Now she was a junior and he was a senior, meaning that most of his time went to studying for the LSAT. Nonetheless, when Kia was notified about inheriting the Rhode Island mansion, Gareth didn’t hesitate in saying yes when she asked him to go with her.

She walked around, sweeping her fingers over the leather-bound notebooks on the bookshelf. They looked like journals of sort, and if Kiara decided to keep the house, maybe she would skim through some of them. She didn’t really knew if she would accept it, though. Yes, the house had been in the family for generations, but she also didn’t know if she wanted to come to Rhode Island and leave Pennsylvania.

Also, the house would need a lot of attention.

“She moved here at nineteen. She and my great grandpa, Rowan, eloped at eighteen and got married in Ireland. They moved here to avoid his family who was absolutely against their son marrying a snobby, rich wannabe artist.” Kiara grinned over her shoulder at Gareth. “Very scandalous, isn’t it?”

“Honestly, it explains so much about you.” He matched her grin. “Maybe being mad is in the genes of the women in your family.”

Kiara snorted, grabbing one of the small journals while Gareth took a bigger one. It looked like a sketchpad, and his eyebrows raised as he looked through it.

“I didn’t know she also drew. I knew about the painting and sculpting, but these drawings…” He murmured, looking through them with awe. Kia only half payed attention, focused on her own journal. She skimmed through it, stopping only when a photograph fell from it.

She grabbed it from the floor, eyebrows raising as she looked at it. It was black and white, even though it looked more brown because of the time. It was a woman, a small skirt and top hugging her lithe body as she rested against an old car. Her arms were spread wide, legs crossed. Kiara was almost sure that was Aelin, but she couldn’t be sure since her face had been cut. A heart shaped cut took her face and neck out of the picture, and Kiara swept her fingers along the edges of the heart.

“Where is her face?” Gareth asked, his attention leaving the skecthbook.

“In Rowan’s grave.” A female voice came from the door, and both Kiara and Gareth yelped. A red headed old woman was sitting at a wheelchair, her smile soft but not at them. At the journal and sketchbook. “He had a locket he always wore, her face was inside it. He wore since he was twenty-one when they met, and was buried with it. And you didn’t know that Aelin could draw because she didn’t do it for the public. Whatever drawing from her you find here, will be private and portray her husband.”

Kiara stared at the woman, her face familiar. However, Kia had never met her, so it was hard to remember from where she knew this woman. “You’re Evangeline. My grandma’s best friend.”

Evangeline nodded, gray strands catching the light. “Nino asked me to take care of the house after Aelin and Rowan died. Your grandma Aurora and Nino were my best friends since we were young, and the Whitethorn-Galathynius were my godparents.”

Kiara nodded silently, not really knowing what to say. Like her great grandparents, Evangeline had been someone she had never met, only heard stories.

Gareth, however, didn’t seem to have lost his words.

“How were they? I mean, everyone knows Aelin’s shameless and mad woman reputation, and Rowan’s serious businessman demeanor. Everyone knows about their tasteful and yet loud parties, about the time Aelin stole the neighbor’s dog and dyed it key lime green.” Kiara stared wide eyed at Gareth. She didn’t know he knew so much about her family’s story. Noticing her stare, he simply shrugged, turning back to Evangeline. “But how were they in private? Aelin was from St. Louis and Rowan was Scottish, weren’t they? How did the difference between cultures affect them? Were they actually in love?”

Kiara was about to tell him to shut the fuck up and stop bothering the old lady, but when she heard the last question, Evangeline smiled sentimentally. “I don’t think I have ever seen someone love another person as much as Aelin loved Rowan. Or as much as Rowan loved and worshipped her back. They both started a beautiful dynasty, and it doesn’t matter what others say about them, they adored each other unconditionally until their deaths.”

Kiara smiled a little at that. Her grandma had always told her stories about how her parents had loved each other. Since her childhood, Kiara had been looking for a love like Aelin and Rowan’s. They had eloped together in their early twenties and lived together in this house until he was a hundred and one and she was ninety eight. Aelin had died five days after Rowan passed, and although the doctors had said it was unrelated, both Aurora and Nino swore that she had died because her heart actually broke.

Swore that she had wanted it.

Had wanted to go spend the rest of eternity with him somewhere else.

Their love was too big for this life, her grandma used to say. There was no Aelin without Rowan, and no Rowan without Aelin.

“Would you like for me to tell you the whole story?” Evangeline said, approaching them.

Kiara was quiet, wondering if she wanted. Her grandma had always told her everything, but some part had been so vague…

“Our train is five hours away.” She said, taking a seat. “Why not?”

“Where shall I begin?” The old woman mused.

Gareth sat down too, crossing his arms and smiling. “From the beginning, please.”

Evangeline’s smile grew, excitement radiating off of her.

“Then from the beginning I’ll begin.”

To be continued with another TS prompt

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass @heirofthenightcourt @maastrash

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin au #rowaelin fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galathynius #rowan #aelin #rowanaelin #tog #throne of glass #throne of glass au #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass oneshot #ts #taylor swift #rowaelin ts #the last great american dynasty #rowaelin tlgad #writing #answered #mardu writes

[kiriluvbot]

lvr boy

todoroki has a rough day, and sero attempts to make him feel better. both boys figure out that distractions aren’t always the answer to emotional distress.

—

han !!: hey shou i saw u leave dinner early are u ok?

shou <3: yeah, just a bit drained. sorry i left without saying anything.

han !!: hun u don’t need to apologize, i jus wanna make sure ur doin ok !!

han !!: is there anything i can do?

shou <3: come over ?

han !!: u bet, On my way!

han !!: ive got an idea to cheer u up bb

and that’s how hanta sero got to be hanging from his tape on the rafters directly outside shouto todoroki’s room, over his balcony.

han !!: i’m outside <3

don’t ask him how the physics works; he doesn’t know either. hanta imagined what it must be like to be the fictional american hero, spiderman, and tried to stick his tape from the most secure place on the roof and dangled downward, getting into position as fast as he could so he’d be ready when shouto peeled open the door leading to his balcony.

except he hadn’t exactly said he would be on the balcony.

and it’s cold outside. hanta shivers as a rush of wind sends him waving like a flag outside shouto’s room. he feels more and more ridiculous the longer he sits—dangles?— here, with all the blood rushing to his head. what's taking shouto so long?

inside, shouto is peering into the hall, looking for a familiar head of dark hair. he’s tired. he needs hanta to be able to properly recharge. he misses hanta. he sort of wants to cry, sort of wants to melt into the floor, sort of wants hanta to sweep him up and make him forget everything else in the world.

he frowns when he finds no one outside his door. “hanta?”

where is he?

shouto glances over his shoulder, at the doors leading to his balcony, at the thick curtains blocking out the moonlight.

surely not...

but it’s hanta, and he had said he’d be outside. hanta comes up with the craziest ideas sometimes. but how could he have gotten out there?

shouto shakes his head once, crosses the room with apprehension. pulling back the curtain, shouto nearly jumps out of his skin at the sight of hanta sero outside his door, hanging upside down with a tight grip on his tape, the widest, goofiest smile on his face.

shouto slides open the door, the rush of cool wind sending goosebumps crawling over his skin. even being this close to hanta makes him stand up a little taller, already absorbing energy to start recharging. he’s a magnet. hanta is a ball of pure, unhinged light and love. hanta is a source of comfort, a place to come home to. shouto can’t stop his growing smile as it mirrors hanta’s own.

“there you are,” shouto breathes. that overwhelming weight that just kept building through the day starts to lay off, little by little.

“how’s this for a surprise?” hanta’s waving a bit in the wind. his cheeks, nose, and ears are dusted pink. inky black hair waves with him, curling at the ends. his eyes are dark pools full of stars, full of adoration, full of mischief.

shouto could—should—kiss him.

“i’m always surprised with you, hanta,” shouto says, laughing lightly as he steps out of his room, bare feet on the wood of the balcony. they’re close to eye level, and shouto raises his hands, almost unsure, and presses them to hanta’s grinning cheeks.

“gotta keep my boy on his toes, you know?” hanta tries to lean in the closer shouto gets like a moth to a flame, curious eyes searching shouto’s face for any tells of fatigue, of sickness, of sadness. he only finds sleepy awe. “gotta change things up every now and then.”

the two toned boy plants a ghost of a kiss to hanta’s forehead. it’s not enough. “this must be a spiderman thing,” shouto muses. “i know how much you like that guy.”

“naturally. he’s the coolest,” hanta giggles at that, and shouto’s fractured heart starts to mend. his cracked facade from spending the whole day strung out, anxious for nothing, begins to crumble at his feet. hanta has a knack for pulling shouto completely apart, for piecing him wholly together, for taking the pressure off shouto’s shoulders, even if it’s just for a little while.

“i remember the movie we watched together,” shouto hums, thumbs grazing over hanta’s cheekbones. “there was a scene similar to this, right?”

hanta’s skin burns under his fingers. shouto watches his adam’s apple dip as he swallows. “something like it, yeah.”

shouto meets his eye, recognizes that mischievous look flickering over his features. he chases the light, takes in every single detail of hanta’s face, every detail he has memorized like constellations at this point, every detail he wants to place a kiss to, every detail he never gets tired of.

then, shouto gets on his tippy toes and tilts forward, holding hanta’s face, and kisses his lover boy, slow and sweet. it’s strange kissing someone upside down, but hanta kisses him back like he’s been anxiously waiting for it to come, like he’ll never get enough.

it’s not enough.

when shouto pulls back, hanta is smiling again, dizzy and red faced. in a single, fluid movement, hanta flips and releases the hold on his tape. he lands, steady on his feet in front of shouto, wind blown hair framing his face like a priceless painting. his grin, his pure, radiating joy and goodness outshines the moon, as if the sun instead resides inside his chest.

he’s too good for me.

hanta’s eyes widen as shouto takes his reddening hands and kisses those, too. kisses his palms. his knuckles. shouto has always loved hanta’s hands; clever and sneaky hands, sure and gentle hands.

he knows the patterns of hanta’s hands like the back of his own, knows the life lines, the callouses, the old scar between his middle and pointer finger knuckles. he knows the pattern of all his moles and freckles and the way they creep up his arms, up his neck, down his chest like a fairy danced to their favorite song over his skin.

after a sharp intake of breath, hanta asks, “are you alright, shou?”

not really. i’m asking for a distraction. do you think a distraction will make it all go away? all this pressure on my chest?

the sincerity of his voice causes shouto to stop in his tracks.

i didn't sleep well at all. i had a nightmare about failing the hero course. i was late to class.

he looks up, blue and gray falling on gravitational black.

i got a 60 on our history test today and i locked myself in the bathroom for three minutes trying to remind myself it’s just one single test.

hanta’s smile is dipping.

bakugo was yelling more than usual. aizawa and iida both told me i was off my game. i spilled my drink in my lap at lunch.

he grips shouto’s fingers and pulls him closer. always closer.

i had to cancel my plans with my mom this friday to retake the test i bombed. i cried after we got off the phone.

shouto has to tilt his head up. hanta sure has gotten tall.

he feels childish trying to explain why literally nothing had gone his way today, why every small thing made him want to curl up and cry for hours. “just—today was a bit overwhelming. everything going wrong and getting too loud, you know? but i’m feeling better.”

now that you’re here.

when hanta leans into his space again, shouto unconsciously warms up the air around them.

“do you wanna talk about it?”

my coffee spilled over the edge of the cup this morning and hurt my fingers and i had to sit on the floor for six and a half minutes trying to suck the tears back into my eyes.

“not really,” shouto answers. it’s not a lie.

“you’re sure?”

his breath is warm on shouto’s face, eyes wide and sincere.

“i’m sure.”

if we talk about it i’m almost certain i’ll cry again.

hanta seems to buy it. his lip ticks upward just a notch. that curiosity turns sly as he releases shouto from his hold, as his hands dance up and over the shorter boy’s shoulders, over his shoulder blades, down his spine.

“totally sure?”

the space between is no space and too much all at once. it’s not enough.

“absolutely sure.” just kiss me already, you maniac.

finally, finally, hanta’s lips find his own, right side up and certain. stars explode in shouto’s chest, behind his eyes. supernova as his fingers dip into hanta’s hair, as he melts under the attention and contact, on his tippy toes.

all too soon, hanta pulls back, humming all the while. shouto nearly pouts at the loss until hanta dips down, those searching hands taking shouto’s thighs.

oh.

the smaller boy squeaks, though he’ll always deny it later, as hanta picks him up and wraps shouto’s legs around his waist.

oh.

he’s… carrying him.

this is new.

“we’re goin’ inside,” is the only explanation hanta offers. his head whips back up in a flurry of glittering hair and a puckish grin. always glittering. always grinning.

shouto holds on tightly, arms around around hanta’s shoulders. he keeps his mouth shut for fear of saying something completely stupid. hanta is talking, though shouto’s been too focused on the muscles of his back beneath his hands to really know what he said. his chin presses into shouto’s collar. shouto wishes it were his lips instead. god.

still holding on to shouto, with those goddamn hands on shouto’s thighs—i’m gonna die—hanta shuts the door and closes the curtain like he’s seen shouto do a thousand times during his nightly shut in routine. shouto considers asking to be let down but—but his hands on his thighs—i’m gonna die, i’m gonna die, this is where it ends—

hanta’s shampoo smells like grapefruit. his hair brushes shouto’s cheek. he wants to bury his face in it, wants to move it to the side and explore every freckle dusting his smooth skin, wants to kiss every single place he can reach—good god, he’s gonna die.

then, incredibly, horribly, boldly, hanta sits at the edge of shouto’s bed. he readjusts so shouto is sitting properly in his lap, legs still wrapped around his waist. those goddamn hands slide down the sides of shouto’s thighs, over the fabric of his pajama shorts, just barely grazing exposed skin, like hanta knows. shouto lifts his head from the crook in hanta’s neck to finally get a good look at him in this soft lighting.

hanta’s cheeks are still painted pink.

there’s so much contact. broad shoulders beneath his hands. solid chest if he drags his hands down. narrow waist if he goes even further, strong abs from swinging through the air and keeping his balance. his hands on shouto’s thighs.

any and all rational thoughts shouto may have had exit stage right.

“this okay?” he asks.

shouto responds with a single nod of his head. he’s distracted, alright.

that’s a good enough answer for hanta. the raven haired boy pressed forward once again, closing the gap, aiming for shouto’s lips but landing right next to them. shouto can feel his smile against his skin. his chest is tight, his fingers subconsciously twisting the ends of hanta’s wavy hair.

everything slows down.

“there’s a dimple here when you smile, you know?” hanta murmurs, a cold pointer finger tapping the spot just to the left of his mouth. he kisses that spot. it’s horribly and surprisingly tender, plucking shouto’s weakened heart strings. “have i ever told you how much i love that dimple?”

“i don’t think so.” his head tilts back.

his lips dip beneath shouto’s jaw. “what about this? surely i’ve told you how much i love this.” his kiss is warm, his laughter tickling as he says, “the freckles here look like the little dipper.”

shouto’s eyes flutter closed as lips press under his ear.

“the little dipper, hm?”

hanta hums and shouto can feel it vibrate through his chest. he pulls back a bit, brings shouto’s scarred hero-in-training hands up to his lips and kisses all ten fingers, all ten knuckles, slowly, making sure not to skip a single one.

“and your hands,” hanta murmurs, thumb rubbing circles on the soft part of shouto’s palm. “i love how capable and powerful they are, how you can create and destroy, how you still choose to be gentle.” a kiss touches down on his right palm, a strike through his heart. the sweetness makes shouto’s teeth ache.

there’s a smirk in his voice when hanta speaks again. “and these,” he says, breath startling warm and close to shouto’s collarbones, peeking out of his t-shirt. fingers dip into the fabric, pulling down just a bit. shouto sucks in a breath as lips land true on the bone. “always wanted to kiss you here, you know?”

what took you so long to do it?!

the part of shouto’s brain that was working to create coherent thoughts is in system shut down mode. he basks under the attention, under the light, under the worship of hanta sero, of his boyfriend, of his best friend. he basks and he melts, completely unsure of how to take it, how to accept it.

“and this—“ there’s a small birthmark at the very base of shouto’s neck hanta has wanted to kiss since they were first years. so he does. “love this here.”

every single bit of you, shouto todoroki.

there’s a pause that makes shouto open his eyes and search for hanta.

the taller boy could carry on all night, reaching out for every small inch of shouto todoroki that he’s in love with and explaining exactly why he loves each minuscule detail of it, but he pauses.

shouto’s brows dip, hesitant.

hanta came here to make sure he was okay.

he holds the gaze of the boy in his lap, of the boy he’s loved since he was fifteen, of the boy he’ll love until he passes on from this world to the next. there’s a blurry daze in his blue and gray eyes, but an ever deeper exhaustion pulls at all his edges. hanta can sweep shouto off his feet left and right, tell him all these lovely things and kiss him until he can’t see straight, but those things are merely temporary distractions.

i’m alright, i promise.

he tilts his head, and his smile is almost sad.

you’re not alright, i saw it in the way you tapped your foot in class, the way you pressed your icy fingers into your forehead, the way you avoided your table at lunch. i saw it in the way you were completely silent during practice, the way you wouldn’t engage in banter with bakugo, the way you couldn’t seem to sit still at dinner. i saw it in the way you left early, in the hectic, cracked state you were in when i got here, when you opened the door.

“hanta?” his voice cracks. shouto thinks, i don't deserve this affection. this appreciation. not from someone as good as you. you deserve—someone who isn’t ready to sob when you tell him you love something about him. hanta—

hanta presses his hand flat against shouto’s chest—no, his heart. he sees the way shouto chews on the inside of his cheek, the way his multicolored lashes flutter.

“i love you here, shouto,” hanta says. “when everything is too much and too loud. when you feel like nothing is going your way, when a split coffee cup feels like the end of the world.”

shouto’s lip purses, blinking furiously. his hands twist into the front of hanta’s shirt as the smaller boy falls forward, collapsing onto hanta’s shoulder with little grace.

“‘m sorry,” is the only thing shouto can muster.

hanta wraps an arm around him, pulls him as close as they can get. his lips press to shouto’s temple, to the stray strands of ruby locks there. “you don’t need to apologize, shou.” his shirt collar is wet. “sometimes… sometimes you just need to talk, you know? you need to let it out instead of leaving it unchecked.”

shouto’s heart pounds against hanta’s chest.

“you asked for a distraction. i should be saying sorry for getting all sappy,” hanta kisses his temple again, feels shouto’s shoulders begin to shake.

shouto laughs at that, small and weak and breathless. i needed to hear it. more than i thought i did. more than you know.

in truth, today isn’t the only awful day the two toned boy has had recently. it’s been every single day, one after the other, but he refused to acknowledge how tired and just plain sad he felt. he thought that if he pulled hanta into his bedroom and closed his eyes, it would go away with time.

and then the coffee burnt his fingers this morning.

that was the final shove. the final push to send shouto hurtling over the edge, stressed and strung out and overwhelmed. he just needs a break. a healthy, peaceful break that doesn’t involve reaching too far or doing something he might regret. he needs to plug in and recharge, to lay it all out on the table and sort through his troubles, to piece himself back together and get back to normal.

hanta hugs him tighter.

and now his resolve and control is cracking and spilling out, through his veins and his bones, through his heart and his eyes. he holds onto hanta like his life depends on it, letting it all out, finally giving in, finally letting go. distraction wasn’t the answer; he could only forget for so long, as more things piled on until it crushed him.

sometimes the world is too much, too loud.

shouto cries into hanta’s shoulder until there's nothing left. until he feels at peace. until he falls asleep in hanta’s arms.

he dreams of hanta with cherry blossoms in his hair, that same glittering grin on his face.

—

*drops this and runs a thousand miles in the other direction”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825064

#seroroki #seroroki writing #seroroki brainrot #seroroki for the win #minor angst #very minor angst #hurt/comfort #minor hurt tho #more like todoroki’s just super overwhelmed #comfort #comfort but it’s sero trying to distract todoroki instead of letting him work out his feelings #they come around in the end tho #hanta sero #sero is so soft so kind #sero is a good boyfriend #todoroki shouto #i finally started spelling it shouto instead of shoto cause that just seems right even though it really doesn’t matter #todoroki thinks distractions work for solving all his problems #light angst? this isnt angst? i dont think? idk #spiderman sero #two idiots in love #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha rarepair #rarepair #rarepairship #hop on my seroroki bandwagon folks #do you think this is enough tags

[cecilspeaks]

176 - The Autumn Specter

Lips are the toes of the face. Welcome to Night Vale.

[spooky theme song]

It’s Halloween again, Night Vale, my favorite day of the year. As a kid, my mother used to dress my sister Abby and I in homemade costumes and take us door to door, vaguely threatening our neighbors until they gave us candy. When I was a teenager, I got a little old for trick-or-treating, so I started going to haunted houses with my friends. A lot of those haunted houses were kind of predictable with all their chain saw killers and Victorian ghost children singing nursery rhymes, who would follow you home and sing by your bed for months afterwards, but they always got to me. I loved the emotional rush of being scared. I still do. Of course, I don’t go out much to haunted houses, but I still love good old fashioned scary stories. I thought today would be a great day to share some of my favorites with you. I had my new intern, James, put together a few spooky tales that are perfect for putting you into Halloween mood.

But first, let’s have a look at the Community Calendar. This Saturday night at the New Old Night Vale Opera House, is the annual costume gala. This event is the Opera House’s largest fundraiser and one of the most prestigious costume contests in the region. A panel of judges will be on hand to determine the best costume at the ball. Last year’s winners were Joel Eisenberg and his partner Danny Jimenez, who dressed in a tandem outfit of a stegosaurus. I was there, listeners, and it was impressive! The creature was so realistic-looking. The craftsmanship of the costume was top notch, but listen, I have to confess I’m always more into high concept creativity rather than realistic details when it comes to costumes. Like I remember the 2015 gala, when Amal Shamun came dressed up as the concept of ennui. She made herself 12 feet tall, dressed in a taupe long coat, and created a constant drizzling rain inside the ball room. Anyone who looked at her got super sad and wanted a hug. But Joel and Danny’s stegosaurus was fine.

Sunday afternoon is the fall craft sale in Old Town Night Vale. An inscrutable maze of stalls showcasing the finest products from our town’s artisans. There will be cultural events for children, like finger painting classes, puppet shows, and a visit from the Autumn Specter. The Autumn Specter returns. It comes to collect its crops, with its great and sharp sickle. [creepily] It will harvest every ripe soul in Night Vale, the Autumn Specter is hungryyyy! It is Octoberr and it is timme to feeeeeee-duh.

Hey James, this Community Calendar doesn’t seem right, it’s just a bunch of stuff about the Autumn Specter. Also this font size, what-what is this 32 point? That’s just much too large. And it’s printed in red ink and that is a waste of our color toner, James. Eww, eww! This red ink is still really damp. OK, plus there’s nothing about start and end times of the craft fair, or anything about the food trucks, like if the Autumn Specter is hungry, surely it wants some falafel or Korean barbeque or tacos. James, could you just redo this story? James? James? [clears throat] Well, listeners, I don’t know where James went. Um, I can hear him breathing, but I don’t see him anywhere. Yeah, it’s fine, let’s just get onto our first spooky story.

[static, old-fashioned music] One quiet moonless night, not long ago and not so far away, a teenage girl sat in a house that was not her own. It was the home of Tony and Sheila McDowell. The girl was their babysitter, and she had just put the two young McDowell children down to sleep. The girl watched TV alone in the dark living room, only the bluish flicker of a scary movie illuminating her face. The phone rang abrupt and loud, startling her. She raised the receiver to her ear. “Hello?” she said with a slight quiver. “Have you checked on the children?” came a raspy voice. The babysitter ran quickly upstairs, opening the door of the kids’ bedroom. She flicked on the light, and there they were, fast asleep. She went back to her movie, but the phone rang again. “Haave youuu checked on the childrennn?” came the same voice, only more sinister. The babysitter again hurried upstairs, opened the door, turned on the light, and saw the children still asleep. The caller called again and again and again. “Have you checked on the children?” The babysitter, so scared, barely able to move, hung up the phone before the voice could finish its repeated query. When the phone rang once again, she answered and shouted: “Stop calling me!” But this time, it was a different voice. The person on this occasion said: “Ma’am, this is the police. We’ve traced the call. The call is coming from inside the house. Get out, get out!” The babysitter panicked and started to run, but then she remembered: she never called the police! How would they know to even trace the call? So she crept fearfully upstairs to the children’s room, and the phone was ringing again, the clamoring bell igniting her fright. And she cracked open the door and she saw- She saw the young McDowell boy and his little brother hunched over a phone and giggling! They were pranking her, and she felt relieved but embarrassed. And she told them to stop fooling around and go to sleep. And they all shared a good laugh.

Let’s have a look now at traffic. [papers rustling] Um.. OK, well I don’t seem to have a traffic report from intern James. Also James isn’t here right now, because I sent him out to go pick up lunch a few m- Oh, hey James, James, James, James – wait, why are you standing in the control booth? You were supposed to go get lunch and also I’ve asked you a couple of times not to wear that burlap bag over your head. I mean yes it looks great, with the Jack o’ Lantern face drawn onto it, I mean the mouth is a bit lopsided and the eyes are a tad uneven,  you know kinda flat and emotionless, but all in all it’s a cool look, but it’s decidedly not allowed in Station Management’s dress code. Oh, you’re holing a knife, too! So did you get- did you already get that lunch then? Well if that- if that’s the case, you don’t need to cut my sandwich in half, I’ll-I’ll take it whole. And also I need that traffic report, thanks. James? What are you waiting for, the Autumn Specter to do it for you? [chuckles] Hop to it! James?

[clears throat] Well, while James is working on that, let’s get back to my favorite spooky Halloween stories. This one isn’t a story so much as a fun Halloween game. The legend of Bloody Mary.

According to the lore, if you turn off all the lights, and stare into a mirror, repeating “Bloody Mary” three times in a row, she will appear and tear your face off! I’ve never tried this because I don’t own any mirrors, but my husband Carlos conducted this very experiment in his science lab. He said he darkened the room and repeated the name and nothing happened for a long time. But then a figure of a woman appeared, silvery gray and shimmering, and she approached Carlos slowly, her hollow white eyes never blinking. She brought her face only inches from Carlos and said: “Are you for real?” And Carlos said yes, he was indeed – real. And Bloody Mary said: “OK because this time of year, I just get a bunch of giggling, screaming teenagers, and I’m really tired of ripping off their faces for no pay whatsoever!” And Carlos gave her some resources for starting a union and she thanked him and she offered to tear his face off in exchange for the consulting, but Carlos said no, he liked his face, and wisher her luck. Night Vale, pay your malevolent spirits! They’re overworked especially around Halloween. And a 20 per cent gratuity for poltergeists, phantasms, revenants, and ghosts is standard.

And now for t- what the, oh you- [papers rustling] Wait, OK. You know, I thought intern James had handed the traffic report to me, but this is just a piece of parchment with a 9-pointed star seemingly drawn by a finger dripped in blood. And then there are a series of ancient runes scrawled around the outer edges. Now I took runic in college. I mean, most of my friends took Spanish as their language, but I thought living here in the American Southwest, it would be more useful to study ancient Scandinavian and Germanic alphabets. And from what I can make out, these are a message about the return of the Autumn Specter. Ugh, alright. OK. I love that intern James loooves Halloween and whatever this the Autumn Specter is. In fact, James is still in the break room right now construction a sacred totem out of ash tree branches and twine. He’s been muttering to himself all day in a language that I don’t recognize, and the only words I can understand are “Autumn Specter”. But I still have neither my traffic report nor my lunch! Wait, do you think James is… Naah, put it out or you mind, Cecil.

Let’s tell another spooky Halloween story. There once was a beautiful young woman who wore a green ribbon around her neck. She won the affection of a handsome young man. They fell in love and one day the boy asked the girl why she always wore a green ribbon around her neck. She would not tell him. One day the man and the woman were to become husband and wife. In her white bridal dress, the woman still wore her green ribbon. The man asked her on their wedding night if he could untie the green ribbon, but even on the  most intimate of evenings, she said no, and he respected her answer. But he longed to know what she was hiding behind the ribbon. Through the years, the man asked the wife again about the ribbon, but she never removed it, nor answered his questions about it. She only warned him that he would not like what he saw if she were to remove it. He asked less and less, but his curiosity grew and grew. And they became old, very old, and they knew their time left was short. The man asked one more time: “My dearest wife, love of my life, tell me that I may remove the green ribbon from around your neck.” And the old woman said: “My adoring groom, here in our room after all these many years, yes you may. But I caution you, as I have many times before, that you shall not like what your eyes behold.” The man hesitated, but finally reached his weakened, wrinkled fingers to the green bow along her nape. And he tentatively pulled the ribbon, and suddenly it unfurled, falling from her neck, and the man gasped. Upon her neck was a series of ornate letters spelling out “GOTH LIFE”. The woman said: “I got this tattoo in high school but kind of outgrew it and it’s super embarrassing.” And the man replied: “It is for sure weird, but also pretty cool. I like it.” And she never wore the green ribbon again.

You know, listeners, I’d love to bring you that traffic report, but right now, um, I’m facing something much more urgent and more dire. My studio door has opened on its own, and as I turned around, I could see down the long faintly lit corridor of our offices. And at the end of the hallway stands a figure, and he wears a Jack o’ Lantern mask, his head crooked to one side like a dog asking a question or like a hanged man, or both. And it is intern James, and he holds a long knife and he walks, he walks slowly toward me. And he is speaking at first in a mutter, but now louder, a strange shout in an obscure tongue like a magician casting a wicked spell, and he is moving much faster toward me, like a limping run, and his blade is raised high, and James is not an intern, Night Vale, bu the Autumn Specter itself come to reap my soul!

But before he does that, Let me take you to the weather.

[“Welterweight” by Nels Andrews. https://nelsandrews.bandcamp.com/]

So. During the weather, I went to human resources and requested a file on intern James. Oh I’m fine, by the way, and James is not the Autumn Specter, but I’ll get to that. So I found a copy of James’ résumé and cover letter for the position of radio station intern. His application was originally submitted in 1845. “That’s almost two centuries ago!” I exclaimed, but according to HR, they’re pretty backlogged on the intern apps. “What are you gonna do, we get to them when we get to them,” they said from the bottom of their abandoned well. Paperclipped to James’ application was a wrinkled and yellowed news clipping from the Night Vale °Daily Journal, and the article says that James died on Halloween night in 1849 when he was hit by a train. I then went to the hall of public records and found that our radio station was built in 1950, atop the very train tracks where James met hi send. James’ soul has been wandering the halls and offices of our radio station ever since. For all James ever wanted was to be a radio intern. To serve the listening community, to lift high the voice of journalistic truth. And it was his death that led to the shutdown of those train tracks and the eventual construction of a new station home, and the building we still use now. So I was wrong about James. He was an intern, after all, and not a malevolent Halloween spirit.

But I was right that the Autumn Specter had come for me. For when I turned to see James running down the hill, I did not notice the Autumn Specter behind me, with its bony hands and scarecrow mouth, and I did not notice its soul reaping sickle, which it had raised high above its oversized head and stick thin body. And James had given his life for the building of our radio station, and in death, gave his soul for the very same cause. And James threw himself upon the Autumn Specter, and he tried to stab the Specter’s neck and chest, but it-it- it did nothing. And the Spectre pushed James aside and then turned its black coal eyes upon me. And it raised its curved blade once again and swung! I tried to duck, but was too slow. And just as the sickle’s edge reached my face, James dove in front of it and vanished in a burst of white flame, as he was struck. And the room was empty and the Autumn Specter was gone too.

To the family and friends of intern James, he was… an OK intern. Not always on  top of his writing deadlines, but he literally sacrificed his soul for our radio station. I can’t bring you a traffic report today, but I will live to bring you one tomorrow.  If we find a new intern. And HR tells me that we have hundreds of candidates, although  most of them are not yet aware that they are candidates.

Stay tuned next for our new cooking competition show, “Flay Bobby Flay”.

And as always, Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The road to hell is paved with cobblestone. It’s super bumpy, not at all comfortable, and really bad for your car’s suspension.

#wtnv #Welcome to Night Vale #welcome to night vale transcirpts #episode 176 #the autumn specter #sorry i misspeled it as spectre

[atrayo]

Channeled Angelic Wisdom of the Jewels of Truth Series and Favorite Quotes of the Month of September

Hello All,

I always have the bad habit of waiting until the tail end of the month to make a channeled angelic entry here to Atrayo's Oracle. Since I'm also a PC gamer I'm also tied into enjoying the retail release of Amazon's Game Studio of New World come this Sept. 28th. I'll be gaming with my online gamer community of 17 years now that I've been a member of online. They're called "The Older Gamers" one has to be over the age of 25 yrs old to become a member. I'll be the guild leader for the US/EU branch on an East Coast North American server. (shameless gamer plug)

Tonight's trio of Jewels of Truth statements is channeled angelic wisdom, metaphysics, and mysticism. On the topics of a Multi-Dimensional Soul where I channel a historical figure named Josephus the old. Next, there is To Be the I Am which dispels one of the pet peeves I hear often in New Age circles. Where innocently someone remarks we're born into this reality just to learn and grow like this realm is an elementary school for souls. I roll my eyes when I hear this due to my cultivated relationship as an angelic channeler via claircognizance. (claircognizance is the psychic ability to channel knowledge and wisdom beyond one's lifetime.)

Lastly, the final topic is a zinger on two counts! It's titled the Younger Dominions of God. Where not unlike the metaphysical author of Neal Donald Walsch of "Conversations with God" a famous book series. I also channel this statement from God him/her/itself, which I've done on past occasions. This topic blew my mind when it flashed before my mind's eye as an inspiration. Basically, our Creation and the afterlife of heaven and hell are the godly early forms of the Supreme God of all gods Absolute. Meaning these are the terrible two's, tween years, and teenage raging hormone years on a human equalivent scale of God itself.

The Creator, Sustainer, and Destroyer of Macro Supreme Realities dimensionally speaking. These realms of ours of the endless Infinite hells, Creation (ie our Meta-Universe), and the Majestic Heavens are the stratification of the evolutionary growth of God in a meta sense if compared to maturation. These realms astral or otherwise are the goldilocks years of God(dess) akin to a nursery for all souls, angelic kind, including elder angels.  As the lesser deities of countless faiths or dead religions as mythologies to us in our modernity.

Before I go too deep on the topic allow me to just write down the channeling from the Creator him/her/itself.

Also, a shout out to Tessa Luna Lluvia my original online mentor as an expert psychic-medium. She's kindly listed my books of the Jewels of Truth Series on her website. (bottom 8th row of the book listings)

As always no matter if these topics seem too fringe for your imaginations and spiritual belief systems. Allow them to just kindly expand your horizons of the immense grandeur of God Everlasting. Amen.

Multi-Dimensional Souls

3081) Here are the many fields of splendor possible within the grasp of the human condition by far. Nay beyond humanity itself can this spectrum of countless possibilities co-exist to exemplify all lifeforms in unison as Children of a Living God(dess). What I "Josephus the Old" will explain is that the godly soul of all spiritual beings when incarnated experiences a buffer of contrasts when alive on Earth.

For example, when a person commits wrongdoing as grotesque evils. That reincarnated soul as an individual entity has siphoned poorly from the evils metaphysically from the godless Hells, hereto unknown to humanity. Again another primitive example is a godly pious person of righteousness does good in the world without seeking high praises of whatnots. That individual spiritual entity of God has channeled the God Blessed Heavens robustly and directly upon this Earth. Whether this happens unwittingly or not.

The final example is whether a person is neutral and allows good or evil to flourish without personal involvement regardless of what occurs. Such a soul enters into a form of Limbo upon the world swayed easily without guile or reservation as a direct cause and effect. Akin to a sub-set of Karma upon the earth reality sphere of governing elements metaphysically.

The trio of the fates as conundrums of paradoxical fits and starts are prevailing winds of the afterlife set upon all mortal kind be it human or otherwise as creatures. With direct inputs and outputs upon the world and the meta-universes be they cosmic or of a metaphysical unholy/neutral/holy matrix of experiences as existential realities go.

To this end do not allow the oversimplification of these crude examples to paint only a black, gray, and white picture as a canvas of these meta-realities. There is a relativistic spectrum of contrasts akin to manifold kaleidoscopes of endless pigments of possibilities. As configurations of good, neutrality, and evil encompass universally as archetypes of behavior in all lesser Universes combined!

We have exhausted our range or scope of expressions without first mentioning as all souls are in the One Supreme Loving Image and Likeness of God. Denotes all Souls as a united continuum are multifaceted dimensionally as metaphysical entities before being people with physical bodies with an aura upon your current age or eon of your Earth.

As God(dess) is everything as Omni-Present denotes your souls in God are also everywhere God is forever. No matter you as the lesser children of God realize this in your global religions or not. It makes your magicks work as expressions of divinity constantly. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. (Channeled Source Entity of Josephus the Old.)

To Be the I Am:

3083) Many in New Age spiritual circles inquire from fellow advanced participants and elders what is Life? Most respond with confidence that it is a school for young souls to evolve and grow further. This canned response is only partially true, however, it is incomplete in its scope of a response generically.

Life and Death as contrasting phenomena are far richer than such a one-dimensional interpretation of our spiritual unified reality with God(dess), and the Heavenly Host Infinitely meets at large always and forever. There are actually seven dimensions of spiritual being, if not more overall as archetypes of a universal basis of our united divinity with God(dess).

For Instance, the aforementioned scope of Life as a school is true but as one dimension so as to learn and grow as eternal souls having a human experience. Next in no particular order of grace of any of these roles is to Love like God(dess) and the Angels. Unconditionally in moderation so as to avoid fanaticism or zealotry as obsessive traits of passion and/or of true love.

Next comes to be of Service in moderation not necessarily as a selfless saint or angel that lives to extremes. However, to cultivate humanity or divinity on Earth with mutual compassion and empathy for those in need or of want. To serve in a volunteer capacity versus being employed in commercial industries denotes a deeper form of caring.

To be just as civilized and law-abiding or hospitable in the world. Followed closely with having a noble personality of character as benevolent in the human-divine holy nature like God and the Angels in the endless Heavens.

Next is to create or destroy like God in the universe. If destroy is too strong a negative connotation then let it be to uproot, erase, or recycle like God at the human micro-scale of being alive. As God(dess) is the Creator, Sustainer, and Destroyer of macro realities en masse by Infinite scales and over the corridor of eternities.

The last two dimensional roles go hand in hand as fellowship or socialization with positive impacts of compassionate norms be it caring for one another as God has cared for each of us. Lastly to worship Inclusively like God(dess) as an unceasing with positive moderation with mutual respect and adoration to positive foreign beliefs and other cultural traditions of God in our shared world. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Younger Dominions of God:

3080) To the one that reads these simple words come away with a wider understanding of what "I am that I am" is as the Constant Creator, God of all Totalities United! What "I am" is not simple but complex beyond human total comprehension. So in childish terms of "I am" is utilized all around for all levels of basic comprehension as my living beautiful souls.

What you call as Creation as a meta-construct of reality as the Universe(s), Galaxies, Solar Systems, etc... This is merely one of my countless younger expressions of my Ultimate Majestic godly nature, fully seeped upon material physicality and so much greater yet still.

What humanity denotes as the afterlife of Hell as the underworld. The neutral reality of metaphysical limbo or purgatory as either a realm of heightened enlightenment or for the uninitiated as numbing detachment as apathy. With the stupendous exalted Heavens are all grade school versions of my adolescent corpus of my total Supreme Creation as the Absolute Self.

The Infinite and timeless Hells, Limbos, Creations, and Heavens are each stratum of my youthful forms of expressions. As the Creator, Sustainer, and Destroyer of cosmic and ethereal realms of pure totalities of "I am" essence and personified substances. For To Be the I am that I am as the God of all gods plural in a Supreme Fashion has other greater dominions of realism. Each by far beyond the rudimentary tenure of my youth as the Hells, Limbos, Creation(s), and the Heavens can contain forever as my meta corpus.

For example, every dominion where good, neutrality, and evil are located is a moot point having never existed prior. There is no such power struggle of contrasts of differences. A Uni-polar reality versus a multi-polar existence of Principles that tranquility reigns constantly. Only in the realms of my godly youth does contrast stand out in stark terms of the illusion of a good versus evil approach as an eternal useless struggle.

In my youth like environs of ethereal and otherwise physical existence goes. That my younger created lesser children such as humanity and other permutations of my infinity of expressions. Truly mirror my existential struggles of archaic yesterdays as eternities of long ago. I have matured far greater and this creates, sustains, and destroys for another set of challenges and opportunities elsewhere in my Meta-Verse of cosmic and ethereal Superiority as the Apex God of all gods. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. (Channeled Source as God(dess)

You can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in. ---Junot Diaz.

Nature is not a place to visit, It is home. ---Gary Snyder.

Grace is the ability to redefine the boundaries of possibility. ---Manning Marable.

One of life's most fulfilling moments occurs in the split-second when the familiar is suddenly transformed into the dazzling aura of the profoundly new. ---Edward B. Lindaman.

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are. ---C.S. Lewis.

Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 26 years of his life to the pursuit of clairaudient Inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series of "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also channels conceptual designs that are multi-faceted for the next society to come that are solutions based as a form of dharmic service. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 16 years plus online. You're welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.

#Jewels of Truth #Atrayo's Oracle #Ivan Pozo-Illas #Angels #God #Josephus #psychic #channeler #spirit guides #spiritual teacher #spiritualwisdom #spirituality #metaphysics #mysticism #To Be the I am #Multi-dimensional Souls #Younger Dominions of God

[ohshcscenerios]

Beach House

Chapter Twenty Six - Choose Your Own Adventure

Result of previous poll: Read to find out ;-)

Hikaru and Kaoru arranged the fireworks in neat rows in the sand, twisting the cardboard tubes into the sand to make them stand on their own. One by one they lined their grand finale beneath a dark sky, commemorating their wonderful weekend at the beach with an explosive display. 

Haruhi sat upright with her arms supporting her leaned postured on a beach towel, watching the twins laugh and tease each other in the distance coaxed a smile. She enjoyed watching her friends behaving as their real authentic selves, no matter how silly or foolish or even conniving they truly were. She always respected those who valued themselves over other’s opinions, who stuck to their own guns despite what they heard whispered behind their back. 

Haruhi had her fair share in ignoring the whispers when she was young. Her classmates couldn’t - or wouldn’t - understand her father’s profession as merely a profession and it in no way negatively reflected his character. He may favor women’s clothing and fashion but he was the only father God gave her and she would never sneer nor betray that. 

Her friends may have been raised in luxury and blissful ignorance but they were also genuine, curious, and most of all accepting of others. When she joined their group all those years ago she never expected the six young men parading across a dark beach to become such essential figures in her life and yet here she was, depending on them just as much as they depended on her. 

She loved them, respected them, and wished nothing but health and success for them... and yet she felt her heart yearning for one in particular. 

She couldn’t say when she first noticed her growing feelings. Years ago? Months ago? This very weekend? She couldn’t say. Her feelings felt brand new and yet they weighed heavy in her heart as if she had carried them for a long time without knowing. It was so foreign and yet... it felt right. 

She watched Kyoya and Tamaki bicker a few feet away, arguing if they should quickly buy more fireworks. Tamaki was not quite ready to say goodbye to this weekend and Kyoya knew he was trying to use his anxious energy to stall for more time. Kyoya insisted they bought enough and they couldn’t risk disrupting the locals. They couldn’t end this weekend with a surprise visit from the police. 

To her left Takashi and Mitsukuni were building a sandcastle throne for Usa-chan to rest in during their firework display. Mistukuni was cheerfully giggling as Takashi playfully kept knocking down the same sand tower. They were technically men, functioning citizens who contributed to Japan with their earned degrees, and yet they could reach into their inner child to enjoy a sandcastle. 

As their weekend came to a close Haruhi was forced to think about what would happen next. Next week. Next year. She tried to illustrate her five year plan in her mind’s eye but could only paint out a lonely office stuffed away in a gray building. 

She had always worked hard to achieve her goals and even now she wouldn’t slow down but thanks to this very interesting and revealing weekend she also considered what she was working hard for. She couldn’t waste her years satisfying a boss and her clients. She needed someone to truly make it all worth it. She needed to come home to someone to talk about her day, enjoy a relaxing night in with, share a few laughs, and receive a sense of purpose from. 

She decided... she needed him.

Because in the end it would always be him. 

Hikaru ran towards the group with Kaoru close behind, carefully running a corde along the sand. As they got closer Hikaru waved his hands while flashing the biggest smile she’s ever seen spread across his face. 

“We’re ready! Everyone take your seats!” He shouted excitedly. 

The twins dove into the sand, piling atop each other just inches from the beach towel they lied down as their spot. Mitsukuni finished patting down his sandcastle and propped Usa-chan in the make shift seat and situated his blanket beside it, sitting crossed legged nest to his stuffed friend. Kyoya opted in sitting in a wooden patio chair instead of the cold sand and Tamaki fluffed his beach towel right beside him. 

Takashi took out a lighter and clicked a flame to life, shielding it with his hand. Carefully he brought it to the cord and lit the fuse. Instantly lively sparks danced about and raced down the long fuse toward the long row of fireworks. 

“Here we go!” Kaoru cheered, throwing his hands in the air. 

Takashi took his seat behind Haruhi and gently slid her backwards between his spread legs so he could hold her close. She welcomed his embrace and rested her head against his naked chest, momentarily focused on the rise and fall of his lungs. 

One firework shot into the sky with a whiney whistle before exploding in the night sky, spreading neon green flares across the beach. Before the flares could disappear into the darkness another firework whistled through the air and exploded bright pinks and purples above them. 

Haruhi had to admit it was a very fitting way to end their vacation. Their wacky, confusing, thrilling vacation. The vacation she would come to remember as one of the most important moments in her life. 

The sky above them lit up in brilliant colors. Blues, greens, purples, reds, and blinding whites littered the night sky, veiling them beneath a a ceiling of light. 

Takashi leaned forward and kissed her cheek once- twice- and a third time for good measure. Maybe to convince himself that she was really here with him, in his arms. Maybe to further express how much he adored her. He didn’t know and he didn’t care. 

He hovered by her ear and spoke loud enough for only her to hear, “Haruhi, I love you.”

She turned to face him with a sheepish smile that quickly grew more confident once she met his happy gray eyes. Even in the dark of night she could see his beautiful eyes. The fireworks reflecting off his dark irises, teasing the idea that a person’s eyes truly were a window into their soul. 

She knew his soul to be beautiful, kind, loyal, gentle, and above all loving. He best expressed himself through actions, not needing to rely on words to illustrate his thoughts, and yet he had just spoken three very important words to her. 

Haruhi decided to respond in a way he understood best. She leaned into him and pressed her lips against his, slowly tasting the remnants of mint toothpaste and the salty air mix together for a unique flavor. He pressed back, placing his hand on her nape to draw her closer - if it were possible. 

He softly snared her lips between his, gently tugging at her supple skin as he kiss her. He slowly savored her, taking his time in tasting her unique flavor. He wanted to burn this memory in his brain, remember every touch and sensation that sparked through his body whenever she kissed him back for years and years to come. 

He never expected their weekend to end like this but he thanked every higher being for his golden chance to win over his love. 

A forced cough brought the couple back to reality just before the big finale, or as the twins named it. They said the Americans bundled together multiple fireworks to be set off at once as the show ended. Kyoya could only pray the locals didn’t send a policeman to their front door. 

Haruhi glanced at Kyoya and had to do a double take, almost missing a very interesting development. Hidden underneath his chair’s arm rest Kaoru rested his hand on Kyoya’s. Although they weren’t necessarily holding hands Kyoya didn’t move to jerk his away. 

Haruhi smiled, happy to see love sprouting in more ways than one. Perhaps she and Takashi weren’t the only lucky ones. 

The big finale was nearly deafening but the twins were right, the display left them in awe. Everyone’s jaws hung open as they watched the fireworks chaotically overtake the night sky. 

Takashi tightened his hold her waist and kissed her head before resting his chin on her head. Yes, this weekend would be remembered as a very important vacation for years and years to come. 

This concludes our Choose Your Own Adventure story! Thank you to everyone who liked, commented, and reblogged. You made this experience so much fun for me and for others around you! I hope you enjoyed this story and it’s ending. 

The poll asking if you’d like to experience another Choose Your Own Adventure story again had an overwhelming response and it was a landslide! Everyone but one voted yes! This means you can look forward to another interactive story in the near future. 

Until then, have a good night!

#ouran high school host club #choose your own adventure #vote

[angeldolanx]

Chapter 28. /- watch the sunset/

30.11.'20

My plan was to spend my last full day in Los Angeles like I spent most of them in here. I didn't wanted to do anything special or make a big deal out of it. That's why after I woke up in the morning I was on my way to the Adams household first. I spent a few hours with Sophie, and signed the paper which said that I ceased my working relationship with them. Of course Veronica tried to convince me to stay for a few more months, but I felt like it's unnecessary. A few more months not gonna change anything. It would hurt exactly the same like at this moment.

Before I left I gave Sophie a long hug, who as the months went by I loved more and more every day. I was proud of myself as I heard how she said a few things to me in hungarian as a goodbye. I felt like I did a good job with her. Of course I didn't become a millionaire, mostly what I made money in here I spent it in here too. My bank balance is almost the exact same like when I traveled here two years ago. But I still felt like it was worth it.

Before I got home I stopped in a Starbucks to buy myself a drink and to keep me alive today because I needed to go sign off my apartment, met with my friends and even pack my stuff too. The adulting stuff was still difficult to me, but definitely not as much when I came here. I've had proper anxiety if I had to do these things by myself, while now I am fine with it, I just don't really enjoy it. I can say that I become a proper adult in this two years. I learnt how to live alone even if it was hard and lonely in the beginning, but I got used to it and enjoyed it in the end.

It was around two when I got home again. I tried to have a fast launch, before I changed into some comfy loungewear and started to pack my suitcases. My stomach flipped when I looked at the suitcase in front of me and realized it is really the end of this journey. I'm gonna fly home tomorrow, but Corinna and the boys gonna come over and hopefully Grayson is  gonna stay for the night and bring me out tomorrow to the airport. Since later I only wanna concentrate to them I needed to hurry up and try to fit my whole entire apartment in that two suitcases.  I tried to plan out what I am gonna wear tomorrow to go home in, and what else do I need in the morning, so I can put away everything else.

The time went by way too fast, the door bell woke me up from my deep thoughts a few hours later. I got up fast and excited from my bedroom floor next to the clothing piles around me and went to the door to open it for them. I laughed when I saw Corinna between the boys with a cute white teddy bear and as soon as I opened the door she jumped into my arms for a hug.

" If I pay for one of the boys to marry you please say that you would stay " she said. I laughed on her words and as I looked at Grayson and saw that light smile on his face, I know him enough to know that it was not the most genuine smile ever from him.

"I don't think I am ready to get married, babes" I laughed and pulled away from him to greet the boys as well. I gave Ethan a big hug as well and he went to the house too after I stepped away and looked up at Grayson. He pulled me closer immediately for a tight hug. He crossed his arms around my waist and hid his face to my neck. "Promise me that on my last day you are not gonna be that moody" I mumbled.

"For real I marry you right now, if you stay" he said now with a lot more honest smile on his face after I pulled away.

" If I say yes to you one day it's not gonna be because of a fucking green card" I rolled my eyes and reached for his hands to pull him to the house with me.

The calm and quiet apartment was filled with loud laughs pretty fast. Loud music came from the speaker, while we sat around the cafe table and started to play jenga. My back was pressed against Grayson's chest, so everytime he laughed I felt it in my whole body. That's exactly what I wanted. I just wanted to spend the time with the people who are the closest to me in here and just have fun. I didn't wanted to cry or be sad, this trip worth so much more than a few tear drops.

A few hours later we left my apartment, sat to Ethan's car and went to the ocean. As we walked quietly closer to the water in the sand I tried to save the view in my memory forever. Since it was winter, the wind was quite cold that made huge waves on the ocean. I really gonna miss this part of LA too. A lot of time I came down here even by myself and just enjoyed the view and the sound of the ocean for hours. It’s always calmed me down and helped me to switch of my thoughts. Of course today it was impossible to delete that bad feeling in my stomach though.

From my thoughts Grayson's touch  on my waist pulled me back to reality. I looked back at him with a smile after he stepped behind me and hugged me from behind to rest his chin on my shoulder as he leaned down a little bit, since I was still so small compared to him. The cold wind was not even that cold after I felt Grayson's body heat and he warmed up my entire body. I couldn't even enjoyed the moment fully, when Ethan come in front of us with a cheeky smile and hugged me. I laughed loudly between the boys as our bodies were pressed together and because of the height difference I completely was lost between them.

"Aw, that's cute" said Corinna and I could hear how he searched for her phone and took a quick picture of us. I already saw myself at home in Hungary as I cry looking at this picture a few month later from now.

" Okay, that's enough" groaned Grayson and he started to poke Ethan's side in front of me to move away.

I just laughed on Gray's jealousy and on Ethan's eyes roll after he pulled away. I loved seeing their relationship. They were so close to each other, sometimes it even felt like they are the exact same person. I was glad I met them and I got a best friend too next to love. I was so thankful for both of them.

The sun slowly started to rest and painted a orange line where the sky and the ocean met, while we sat in the sand and talked. The sound of the ocean was the background noise as we talked about a few memories from the past two years. As we talked I kept bump into Grayson's strong gaze, who was quete and with a light smile just watched me and listened to the stories. There was something in his eyes, that made mine sparkle and everytime I looked back at him it made me smile. I loved seeing myself in his eyes as the resting sun's shine painted his soft skin. When I looked at him for the fourth times now and he kept did the same thing and didn't broke the eye contact for minutes I just shook my head, put my hair behind my ear and giggled as he made me blush.

"What? " I asked. Ethan and Corinna looked at me with a confused look, and when I saw that our gaze with Grayson was hooked, they looked at him, then back to me again. A light smile spread on Gray's face when he saw how blushy I was.

"How are you even real and all mine?!" he replied. My stomach flipped immediately because of his kind words and I could complietly zone out and just saw the corner of my eyes how Corinna tilted his head to the side and pouted. 

Without saying anything I just giggled, shook my head and stood up to go to Grayson and sat down to his lap. I crossed my arms around his shoulders and hid my face in his neck. His arms held me tight around my waist and he made sure that he didn't left any space between us. We were so close to each other both physically and mentally. It was a really tight hug filled with pure love, that we felt for each other and was filled with a little bit of fear because of the future. We wanted to stay there in each other's arms, holding onto each other till I disappear and a empty distance stays in my place.

Later I only turned around, but still stayed between Grayson's legs and in his arms while I talked to the others. I just enjoyed how his hands kept drawing small circles on my arms, and how he kept pressing small kisses on my neck and cheeks. I just enjoyed being close to him till he was there and till I can.

What was funny, is that E and Corinna didn't mentioned or teased because of our actions. In a normal case they would have freaked out, they would roll their eyes and they would keep saying how cheesy we are, but today was different. I felt like they knew that as much as I wanna spend the day with Grayson, I still wanna spend it with them too and there is no way to me to do it differently.

From the beach we went to the Mel's Drive in to have dinner. Basically that was the place, where all four of us first met. Well if something, the foods are not gonna miss from here. I already knew that I loved hungarian dishes, but spending time here just made me realize that I actually adored it compared to the American stuff. The fast food places, hamburgers and chicken stuff were exciting at first, but they got boring pretty fast. At the same time I still wanted to enjoy them one last time. Of course we have fast food places in Hungary too, but it's completely different.

The colorful neon lights filled the place, while loud pop music came from the speakers after we sat down to a table with our dinner.

"Do you stay for the night at mine?" I looked at Grayson, who sat next to me after I finished my dinner and I only ate the rest of the fries. I tried to hide my cheeky smile when he looked at my face and I slowly put a fry to my mouth. It was funny how I could tease him so easily even with a funking fry.

"Yeah, I just need to go somewhere first " he put his hand on my thigh under the table. I frowned my brows as I looked into his eyes. It was already around eight at night, I thought he is gonna spend the whole night with me and I got a little disappointed, especially when he suddenly got up from next to me and put on his jacket.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I tried to hide the disappointment for him leaving, but he just angelicly smiled at me and leaned in front of me for a quick kiss.

" I am gonna hurry, see you at your place" he mumbled to my lip and before I could say anything he was out from the whole diner. I looked at Ethan with a confused look, but he just shook his head and put his hands in front of his chest to show that he has no idea.

I ended up not thinking too much about it. Before we went home from the diner, we walked for a while. As I looked around and saw the lightened palm trees, my heart broke a little agan as I remembered that I am leaving tomorrow. I never in my life felt that bed for something in the future, I always just accepted if something bed come and tried to stay positive, but today I was not able to do it.

From my thoughts Corinna pulled me out pretty quickly as he jumped to my back, I laughed and tried to make my turn to Ethan's direction so he could take a picture of us.  After that one picture at least twenty more come. We did different poses, and switched too so I’ve got a few one with Ethan too. I laughed as he made me sit on his shoulder and slowly got up. I was so high but I guess I trusted in Ethan enough that he could carry me and not gonna drop me on the floor. I laughed and screamed as he turned around a few times, before he put me down again. I tried to lock every single moment with them to my heart.

" I am gonna miss you so so bad" hugged me tightly Corinna, when we arrived to my apartment and got out from the car. Tomorrow only Grayson gonna be there with me in the airport so I already needed to say bye to them, and it was everything just not easy.

"Thank you, for everything" I mumbled and bit my lip to hide my feelings after I saw the teardrops on her face.

"Just call me and I am gonna be on a airplane" she giggled, mixed with the cry and hugged me again.

" Of course you will, and I am coming too I promise " I replied with a big smile and stepped in front of Ethan. I stood up on my tippy toes to cross my arms around his neck while he hugged my waist and pulled me close for a tight hug. I saw behind his shoulders that Grayson arrived too and a light smile spread on his face when he saw me in his brother's arms.

"Take care of yourself" whispered Ethan to my ear. He really was someone like me, who doesn't really liked to show his feelings and emotions, maybe that's why how quietly he said these things, so only I could hear them.

" You too, and don't forget about me" I replied and moved around my hands on his large shoulders. " And take care of your brother too" I added after he moved away and looked down to my eyes. As a response he just nodded and wiped off a tear from my face.

"Hey, we promised that we are not gonna act like we never gonna meet again. You just gonna be a bit farther from us" he shrugged his shoulders, that made me smile again.

After two last hugs Ethan and Corinna left and I looked down to the ground with a big sigh. I soon saw Grayson's shoe in front of mine as he came closer and pulled me in for a hug. I felt like my body was filled with love with these hugs in the past hours. As much as I was sad, I was so loved as well. And it felt really really good.

After he pulled away he grabbed my hands, clasped it with his and he pulled me after him. I giggled lightly as he stood behind me in the elevator, hid his face in my neck and bit and kissed the sensitive skin. I just wanted to enjoy his kisses more, when the elevator opened and we got to my apartment's floor. As we stepped in front of my door I started to look for my keys in my bag, but Grayson stopped me and showed my keys that were in his hand.

"What? How does this get to you?" I asked. Without answering he opened the door and let me go first. I looked at him with a confused look again, but as soon as I stepped to the apartment my heart started to beat a lost faster in my chest. A few rose petals were on the ground, that went to the bathroom. " Oh my god, you are crazy" I looked back at him. The bathroom was filled with a few candle, light music come to the speaker and the bathtub just waited for us with the foamy water in it. The whole mood there was so romantic, and it is really warmed my heart when I thought that he did this only for me.

" I know you don't really like the cheesy stuff but.."

"Hey " I turned to his direction and placed my hand on his face." It's perfect, thank you" I said and looked deep into his eyes. I hugged him with a big smile on my face and enjoyed how my body got lost again in his large arms.

" Let's get in before it gets cold" he said and placed a kiss on my forehead before he moved away and took of his shirt.

Today this was not the first time when I thought I don't even deserve these things, these people and these moments that they gave to me. I was thankful, was filled with love and I felt like it is enough till I come again to get even more from them. I know that maybe nothing's gonna be the same, since I am not gonna live here, but I still didn't wanted to close these relationships. I was not able to do it and I believed they can work even if we are hundreds and thousand miles away from each other.

- watch the sunset√

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[thatsparrow]

(fleabag/priest • read on ao3)

I love you, too.

It'll pass.

Much like God, that last bit turned out to be a lie. 

—

It's two years later and things are—fine, actually. Good, even. Cashiers ask you how you are, and you say, "I'm doing well, thanks," and it doesn't even feel like a lie. The cafe is, somehow, still a success—enough so that you can afford to do things like buy a new awning and replace the linoleum. You even spend a weekend with drop-cloths spread out over your nice, recently-replaced linoleum and give the interior a new coat of paint. You choose this pastel, light-washed teal color that looked cheery on the swatches but mostly reminds you of watered-down mouthwash. Still, when the sun comes in during the afternoons, it looks nice. You get compliments on it.

All the guinea pig pictures are still up, of course.

Both Hillary and Stephanie (who is, you remind people, actually a hamster) are also doing well, which feels like a miracle. A few months back, Hillary caught some sort of guinea pig flu and that had led to an emergency vet visit and several very-panicked Google searches about guinea pig lifespans, but then she'd gotten better and apparently they live for four-to-eight years anyway, so, she'll likely be around for ages yet.

(Hamsters, on the other hand, only live about two. Sorry, Stephanie.)

That banker—or, former banker? You never did find out what his new job was—still comes by. At least once a month, and usually on Chatty Wednesdays. He brings his wife, too, as he'd said he would. She has kind eyes—which is the sort of description you don't use very often, but suits her—and is both soft-spoken and full of questions. You learn that she bakes, because of course she does, and every so often she brings along a cloth-lined basket of lavender cookies or rose-frosted cupcakes or something equally Martha Stewart. They're fucking delicious, too.

Claire still commutes from Finland, but less often, now that she lives there. She has an apartment in London for when she visits that's obscenely beautiful and rarely-ever used—dark granite countertops and these funny-looking geometric sofas and lots of tasteful artwork (though, none of them done by your cunt stepmother). It should all be gathering dust, but Claire pays someone to clean it once a week and to keep the fridge stocked (on the off chance she comes for a sudden visit, which she never does). Sometimes, when you've been out late and your own place is too far away, you stay there for the night. Claire did give you a spare key, after all, and it seems a shame that no one is getting any use out of those million-thread count sheets or the quinoa salads in the fridge. You don't particularly like quinoa, but that isn't the point. 

The two of you don't talk often, but often enough. You know that she's busy, and when she does call, it doesn't feel like an obligation. Like, sure, maybe your sister needs a calendar reminder to phone you, but when she does, she sounds genuinely happy to hear from you. (She also just sounds genuinely happy about her life, which is such a wonderful change of pace.) Tall, blonde, beautiful, Finnish Klare posts pictures of the two of them on Facebook sometimes (yes, you got a Facebook just to friend him)—mostly selfies, all taken by him, of him and Claire in various corners of the world. Stern-looking, northern cities where the sun doesn't rise part of the year, and bright, fruit-flavored beaches where the sun never sets. Claire looks half-annoyed in all of them, but the kind of annoyance that's covering up how pleased she really is. Like she isn't allowed to look too happy about her tall, blonde, beautiful, Finnish boyfriend and how much he clearly adores his tall, brunette, equally-beautiful, British girlfriend.

"If you have a child, will you also name it Claire?"

"What? Don't be silly, we're not having a child. I don't even know if we're going to get married."

(She does, and they are.)

"You could spell it with a ch so it's a little bit different. Something silly and American, like C-h-l-a-y-r-e."

"Stop it."

(She's smiling on the other end of the phone. You expect they'll announce the pregnancy by the end of the year.)

"It's gender-neutral, too, so you're set either way. Come on—you both have perfect bones and perfect hair and it'd be such a shame to waste that. "

"You're ridiculous."

"Always, but I think I'd be a great Aunt to little Chlayre."

"I'm going, now."

Apparently, having sex with someone who has the same name as you is weird, but you get used to it. And, apparently, the sex has been so amazing anyway that it's worth a little weirdness. Good for her. God knows she needed it.

(Speaking of God—)

He moved parishes shortly after the wedding. Not God, of course, but—well, you know. You'd thought it a little dramatic to move entire cities just because you'd had sex, but it was also arguably less dramatic than his leaving the Church, so. Likely he had made the right call. You probably would have ended up hating each other by the end, anyway, if he'd stayed. It wouldn't have worked out, because when do these things ever? It's good that he left. (It isn't.) It is.

Still.

You think about him less than you used to, less than in the days after—I love you, too. It'll pass—the bus stop, when it was all still so fresh and new. When you were feeling dramatic (drunk), you'd liken it to the feeling of having lost a limb, like he'd taken one of your hands or some vital organ when he'd walked away. When you're feeling less dramatic (sober), you liken it to having lost something you'd only been promised—something fanciful, like someone told you that they'd invented the ability to breathe underwater and it had all turned out to be a lie. 

Except it wasn't a lie. He did love you. He just loved God more.

One afternoon, you'd been running errands that had happened to take you past the church (six blocks out of your way, actually, but close enough) and ducked inside—not even to say anything, just to see him, maybe—but it had been empty except for Pam arranging some pamphlets at the front. You'd asked about him, because of course you had, and she'd said he was "gone."

"Gone gone? Like—"

(Dead?)

"No, sorry, my mistake. Moved. This lovely parish on the coast whose own priest passed away a few weeks ago. A little quiet, but he says it's very charming."

"You've spoken to him, then?"

"Yes, of course."

Of course—like it's so simple.

You leave ten minutes later, after Pam's talked you into donating another ten pounds to the collection and volunteering at another church event the coming weekend, but it doesn't really hit you until you're nearly back at the cafe that he's—gone. Not dead gone, but might as well be. That, much like Harry taking that stupid dinosaur toy, he'd wanted to close the door permanently. Maybe he knew you well enough to know that you'd come back to the church someday, or maybe he knew himself well enough to figure it was only a matter of time before he turned up on your doorstep, and so he'd taken the choice away from you both. What a stupid, frustratingly-adult thing of him to do.

You hate him and love him a little bit more for it.

You don't really know what moving on looks like, but you figure it out. You drink a lot, at first, and then a little bit less. You stop feeling weepy whenever you see a Bible, or a G&T, or photos from the wedding. Rebound sex isn't as good as you'd imagined (except with the Hot Misogynist), and so you quit bringing people home quite so often—at least until you can stop comparing everyone to him. You still masturbate over him, of course, but it feels less like a need and more like a way to treat yourself. Like, if you eat all of that kale salad and only have a glass of wine with dinner, then tonight you can wank over his stupid strong arms and his stupid beautiful neck and that stupid little smile of his. If you just make it through a whole lunch with your dad and your cunt stepmother and not say anything too profane, then you get to touch yourself and imagine waking up with him in the morning and him making you pancakes and other sickeningly domestic fantasies.

It's been two years, so of course you've moved on, but you've moved on in a way that lets you keep loving him. Perhaps it's irresponsible, but you're not willing to let him go entirely. Not yet, anyway.

 —

 Then, your cunt stepmother announces that she and your father are adopting a baby.

"I'm sorry, what—"

"You've got to be fucking kidding—"

They'd waited until Claire was in town to make the announcement. They'd invited you both over for tea, and you should've known something was strange about that, but then you're sitting in the garden with a mouthful of Earl Gray and your cunt stepmother says she's adopting and you have to flip a coin between spitting out the tea all over her tasteful linens or scalding the inside of your throat.

You end up swallowing the sip, but it's a close call.

"Well, you know, I've never really ruled out having children—it's such a blessed, beautiful part of life—but, unfortunately, I can no longer conceive naturally, and so your father and I have been discussing—"

(It wasn't a discussion.)

"—and we submitted the applications and met with a mother this week. Lovely girl, terribly awful home life, can't afford to raise the baby on her own, but she's just got the most marvelous cheek bones."

(Cunt.)

"Anyway, she's due in a couple of weeks and then we'll be bringing little Felicity home—"

(Felicity?)

"—and we'd just love it if you two were there for the christening."

"Yeah, because this family has such a great record with godmothers."

Your cunt stepmother is still smiling but the look she's giving you is acidic enough to peel paint.

"Oh, look, I don't know." Claire's grip on the teacup is so tight, you're surprised she hasn't cracked the porcelain. "I've just taken time off to come home, and I'm really not sure I'll be able to again so soon—"

"No, but you must—mustn't she, darling? Your father just couldn't bear it if you weren't there for such an important day, and we did so miss you at the wedding reception."

(Two years, and she still hasn't let that go.)

"Say you will, Claire. Please? Promise us you'll be there." How your cunt stepmother manages to look so pleading is a mystery, but fuck her if she doesn't have it nailed. Your father is still mostly silent, as he's been throughout this whole ordeal, but Claire must see something in his expression because she relents with a, "Yes, fine, alright. I'll be there."

For the christening. The christening of the baby they're adopting. Your father's going to be in his fucking seventies at the kid's graduation.

"Oh, how marvelous! It won't be for a few months or so after the birth, so you should have plenty of time to get everything in order. The whole thing will be just splendid."

(It won't be.)

 —

 The day of the christening creeps up like a bad dream.

(You know those events when you think you'd rather get a bikini wax and then take a bath in lemon juice than attend? This is one of those days.)

You found a dress that seems like a good church dress, a boat-neck, sky-blue thing that doesn't really do anything for your figure, but it is a christening, so. You get there early because your cunt stepmother asked you to (demanded it), and because Claire will be getting there early as well, and maybe the two of you can sneak some of the church wine. You figure you'll probably be handing out programs or directing people to their seats or whatever else happens at a christening. It'll last about an hour, and then there will be a tasteful reception with champagne and sparkling cider and your dad and cunt stepmother showing off baby Felicity in her white, wedding-like christening gown, and then you can go home and forget the whole thing ever happened.

That's the plan, anyway.

You get to the church a half-hour before the christening starts (which is still later than you were meant to be here, but fuck it) and your cunt stepmother is already in—well, a tizzy. She's wearing this funny, artsy-looking gown that's patterned like stained glass and you wish it looked worse on her than it does. She's not yet holding baby Felicity (because this day isn't really about baby Felicity) but she is deep in conversation with the priest up near the altar, who's already dressed in his own decorative christening robes. Then your cunt stepmother looks up and sees you standing in the aisle, half-debating whether you could hide under the pews, and she's calling out your name and saying, "Thank God you're finally here—sorry, Father," and, "Oh, do you remember—?"

(It's him.)

"—he's the priest who officiated our wedding. He's not in the parish anymore—such a shame—but when I knew we'd be adopting little Felicity, I contacted him to find out if he'd be willing to perform the ceremony. Such a dear, isn't he?"

(It's him.)

"I do so love the symmetry of it. And it seemed such a hassle trying to find another priest we'd connect with when we already knew such a nice fellow."

(It's him, it's him—fuck me—it's him.)

He smiles when he sees you, a nice, polite, church smile. Of course, he's had however many weeks to prepare for this whereas you've just had an anvil dropped on you like you're Wile E. fucking Coyote.

"Pleasure to see you again," he says. He even sounds sincere.

"Likewise—" you say, but then your cunt stepmother is coming down from the altar and shepherding you into the back and putting you to work folding programs—"Make sure you're lining up the corners, dear,"—and you've never hated her quite so much. Of course, if it weren't for her and baby Felicity and the whole stupid christening, he wouldn't be here in the first place, but you're willing to ignore that for the sake of hating her. Fuck, he'd looked good, too. And here you are in your fucking church-appropriate dress folding fucking programs and by the end of the day he'll be gone back to the fucking coast and—

You need a cigarette, or ten. Fuck the programs.

It's quiet in the alley, enough so for you to take a couple of slow, deep, wonderfully nicotine-filled breaths and get yourself together. It'll be fine. It'll be miserable, but it'll also be fine. You'll sit in the pew, and you'll watch him perform the ceremony, and try very hard not to think about how beautiful he is underneath the fancy christening robes, and tonight you'll drink yourself unconscious and then wake up tomorrow and forget the whole day ever happened. It'll be the worst day of your life, but then it will be over.

(Second-worst, actually.)

The cigarette is nearly burned down to your fingernails, and you're about to stub it out when you hear the side door opening, and you say, "Sorry, Dad, I'll be there in a moment, I'm just—"

"Got a light?"

It's him.

(It's him.)

You nod, your breath feeling very shallow as he comes up next to you, leans in towards you with the tip of his cigarette. The orange light looks like paint on his skin, like he's been pulled from a Renaissance painting. He still smells the same.

"Aren't you worried about ash on your—" you gesture down at the fancy christening robes.

"Not really." He exhales, slow; his hand is shaking a little. "I doubt anyone but your stepmother would notice, anyway."

The thought gives you a sudden rush of satisfaction. Fuck, you do love him.

"I tried to quit for a while," he says after another breath, the smoke hovering in front of him, "then found I didn't really want to."

(You hope he isn't actually talking about cigarettes.)

"Better than me—I've never even tried to give it up."

(You, at least, are definitely not talking about cigarettes.)

"How have you been?" he asks.

(Miserable, then less miserable, then better, and now miserable all over again.)

"Good, actually. Haven't run myself out of business yet, so. That's something. How about you?"

"I was pretty lonely, for a while. New parish and all that. But it's not so bad now, and I quite like being so close to the water."

(You're happy that he's doing well, and also a little unhappy that he isn't doing worse.)

"That sounds nice, actually. And it's good of you, to have come all the way back for the christening. You didn't have to."

He's giving you a look. You hope it's the sort of look that means, yes, I did.

"Well, your stepmother can be awfully persistent."

"Yeah, well, she's a cunt."

He laughs at that, both amused and unsurprised. "I don't think I can mention that during my speech."

"No, probably not."

His own cigarette is nearly gone; you'll have to go inside, soon, and then the moment will be over. You really, really don't want it to be over.

"Do you ever think about moving back?" Your palms somehow feel very dry and very sweaty at once.

"Sometimes. Often, if I'm being honest, but—" he exhales instead of finishing the sentence. "There's plenty to keep me busy where I am now."

"And how's—God?" You're just fishing for time now. Badly. 

He raises an eyebrow at you. "Mostly the same. A bit disappointed in the state of the world, but still filled with an infinite capacity for love, forgiveness, et cetera."

"Right. I think I remember something like that in the Bible."

"Love, forgiveness, et cetera?"

"Exactly."

He laughs again, then pauses. "Do you still have it, then? The one I gave you, I mean."

(You know what he meant.)

"Yeah, I've got it somewhere." 

(In your nightstand, but he doesn't need to know that.)

He nods, then lets his own cigarette fall to the pavement.

"Well, I should—"

"You should probably—"

If you were braver, you might kiss him. If he were braver, he might kiss you. You don't really want him to leave, and he doesn't particularly look like he wants to go, but without being brave, neither of you knows what's supposed to happen next. He'd go back inside and then go back to his new parish, probably, and you'd never see him again. It's painful, how much you don't want that.

"Can I ask you something?"

He looks both curious and a little afraid for the question. "Yeah, of course."

He'll be going anyway, whether or not if you fuck this up. There's no reason not to try—other than that you're a little bit of a coward, but that's not really an excuse.

"You said it would pass." You feel a little dizzy. "Did it?" His jaw goes tight a little, like there's a wire running through it. "I'm just—curious, I guess." You take a slow breath. Fuck, what you wouldn't give for another cigarette right now, or an IV filled with whiskey. "Because it didn't, for me."

At that, he lets go of whatever tension he was holding in his jaw. He lets out a half-laugh that seems—relieved, almost. "No?"

You shake your head.

"No. It didn't for me, either. I feel like I've spent the last few years cheating on God—loving him and loving you."

There it is, in the open then. I love you, too.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You want to kiss him, or maybe have him fuck you against the wall. You think he probably would, too. It's exhausting, feeling this elated and miserable at once; by the time you go back inside, you hope the needle has landed on one or the other, you almost don't care which.

"What does that mean, then?"

He laughs again. "Fuck if I know. Like I haven't wasted two years trying to figure that out." He sighs, impossibly weary. "I still don't want to leave the church."

"Okay."

"But I don't want to spend any more time without you, either."

"Okay."

"It would help if you said anything else."

"I would, if I knew what else to say."

(Kiss me, fuck me, marry me—none of those are particularly solution-oriented, though.)

"It's been a while since we were friends. We might not like each other anymore."

(Bullshit. To the friends part and the not liking each other part.)

"Yeah, maybe."

"We could still end up hating each other."

(We wouldn't.)

"Also true."

"But—I could come back. See you again. See if this is still—"

(It is.)

"I'd like that."

He nods, weighty, like you were just discussing how to solve world hunger instead of whether or not he'll move a forty-minute drive back inland. 

"I should actually get back inside, now, before your stepmother castrates me—"

(Which would be a shame, now, after all that.)

"—but I'll be in touch? If you want?"

"I—yeah. Yes, I do."

He nods, and then he's stepping away, back towards the side door and the interior of the church. You wish he'd moved the other way, wish he'd push you up against the pitted brick wall and kiss you like it'd kill him to do anything else, but he doesn't. He's already in his fancy christening robes, after all, and it'd be a shame to wrinkle them now. Besides, you've waited two years. You can wait a few weeks or months more. You can wait, and then the two of you will figure out what happens next. He loves you as much as he loves God, and that already feels like a better place to start.

You brush the ash from your own dress and go back inside.

(You had said this was a love story.) 

#fleabag #fleabag x the priest #fleabag fic #the priest #3600 words in like two days I really was feeling inspired #my fic

[writingquestionsanswered]

How can I effectively portray a criminal main character? I do also want people to somewhat feel attached to the main character, but is that possible if they're morally maybe not the greatest?

Guide: Attaching Reader to Morally Gray Protagonist

There are a few vital keys to making sure your reader can feel attached to your morally gray (and even bad/criminal) protagonist. For the purpose of this particular guide, I’m going to use the character of Klaus Mikaelson from the TV show The Originals as an example. I’ll try not to get too spoilery.

Quick rundown of the character: Klaus was introduced in The Vampire Diaries as one of the original vampires. He’s centuries old, super powerful, and those in the supernatural world typically tremble when they hear his name.

Keys to making sure your reader can feel attached to your morally gray protagonist:

1) Give them an honorable motivation.

Despite all of the terrible things Klaus does, one of his biggest motivators is his family. In fact, he and his siblings make a vow to protect each other “always and forever.” This doesn’t stop Klaus from repeatedly betraying them and sometimes (literally) stabbing them in the back when it suits his purposes, but at the end of the day he does what he thinks is right for his family, even if he’s way off base.

Maybe your character is a criminal because they were thrown onto the streets at a young age, through no fault of their own, and had to resort to criminal activity in order to survive. Now it’s just the life they’re accustomed to, but maybe they want to get out someday. Or, maybe they resorted to crime in an effort to pay for their ill sister’s expensive medical care. Whatever you choose, adding some honorable meaning to why they do what they do can help your reader overlook the bad stuff, or at least have some measure of understanding for why they do it.

2) Give them an honorable story goal.

In the many different story arcs Klaus went through between The Vampire Diaries and The Originals, he had a lot of shitty story goals, but a lot of honorable ones, too. Sometimes his goal was to save a loved one or exact retribution when someone he loved was harmed. Occasionally he’d right a few wrongs or fight to do something good. It balanced out all of the really bad things he’d done and continued to do.

Maybe your character is about to pull off a huge heist, inadvertently interrupts a kidnapping attempt by a rival faction, ends up saving the victim and their new goal is to protect the victim while trying to stop the rival’s bigger plan. By turning your character’s main path (begrudgingly) away from crime, you can create a little “redemption teaser” that whets your reader’s appetite while not totally changing who the character is.

3) Give them scruples.

This is a more difficult one to apply to Klaus, as any scruples he might have had would be related to something I don’t want to spoil–just in case anyone out there still plans to watch this show. But normally, it’s a good idea to to create a line your character would never cross. Maybe they won’t harm the innocent, or maybe they’ll hurt people but never kill them. If your character has scruples your reader will know they’re not a complete monster.

4) Show their softer side.

Apart from his love for his family, there were many other glimpses into Klaus’s softer side. He was a talented artist who loved to paint, he fell deeply in love with a few women in his time, he became the adopted father of a young slave boy during the American Civil War era, and in modern times became the doting father to his own child.

Whether you give your character a great sense of humor; give them a child or other loved one they adore, or a dog they’d do anything for; or have them secretly gift half their ill-gotten income to local homeless shelters, showing the things that make your character human and good can go a long way in helping your reader connect with the character, even despite the bad things they do.

5) Give them a false or mini-redemption moment.

Here again, hard to apply this to Klaus mostly because I can’t remember everything that happened in the show, but if you can show that your character is willing to sacrifice themselves in order to save or benefit someone else, or is otherwise willing to take a major hit so someone else doesn’t have to, this can serve as an indicator that they are capable of full on redemption, which is important if you want your reader to be okay with them. A false redemptive moment would be something like your character jumping in front of another to save them from something about to hit them, but then the thing doesn’t hit and they’re both okay. Of course, your character being who they are will probably brush it off as no big deal or even come up with some non-heroic reason for why they tried to save them, but the point is they showed that when push comes to shove, they can be heroes. In a mini-redemptive moment, they might actually take the hit but they just don’t actually die as a result. They’ll get major kudos from the readers (and probably from other characters), but it doesn’t really change who they are.

6) Give them full redemption.

If your character is really bad and if they don’t significantly change course by the end of the story and make up for all the bad things they did, you need to find some way for them to truly redeem themselves, and sadly, this level of redemption typically involves some sort of major sacrifice.

That doesn’t mean the character has to die, however. It could be that they turn themselves in to the authorities in order to save someone who doesn’t deserve to go to prison, it could be that they give up their fortune or their magic, or it could be that removing themselves from a certain situation is the best thing for everyone–despite how difficult it is for your character. Whatever path to full redemption you choose for your character, if your reader wasn’t sure if they liked your character up to that point, they’ll probably like them afterward.

I hope that helps!

#writing #writing tips #writing help #writing advice #wqaadvice #wqaguide

[helloyellowwords]

continuous themes on lover, the album, by taylor swift (not exhaustive, but I TRIED)

colours (obviously, lots of blue):

London Boy: show me a gray sky // faded blue jeans

Soon You’ll Get Better: holy orange bottles // i'll paint the kitchen neon

Afterglow: blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

ME!:but one of these things is not like the others like a rainbow with all of the colors

Lover: my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

Cruel Summer: it's blue, the feeling i've got

I Think he Knows: indigo eyes

Miss Americana: we're so sad, we paint the town blue

Paper Rings: i'm with you even if it makes me blue which takes me back to the color that we painted your brother's wall

Daylight: i once believed love would be black and white but it's golden // i once believed love would be burning red but it's golden

It’s Nice to Have a Friend: Light pink sky

night/dark:

I Forgot That You Existed: but then something happened one magical night

The Archer: i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost

Daylight: i've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night // Or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

I Think He Knows: i whisper in the dark// go there every night

Cruel Summer: Fever dream high in the quiet of the night// every night that summer just to seal my fate 

Paper Rings: now i wake up in the night and watch you breathe // kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night (Oh)

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Flashbacks waking me up

light:

I Forgot That You Existed: lived in the shade you were throwing 'til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone

Cruel Summer: so cut the headlights

Afterglow:this ultraviolet morning light below // Meet me in the afterglow

Daylight: everyone looked worse in the light // and now i see daylight, i only see daylight

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince i'm lost in the lights

it's brighter now, now

Cornelia Street: as if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Lover: we could leave the christmas lights up 'til january

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Chandelier's still flickering here

Soon You’ll Get Better: doctor's office lighting

YNTCD: Sunshine on the street at the parade

uhm, drinks and being...not sober:

Cruel summer: i'm drunk in the back of the car and i cried like a baby coming home from the bar 

Paper rings: the moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met // the wine is cold

Cornelia Street: drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I get drunk, but it's not enough // Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

London Boy:Tennessee whiskey // Drinking in the afternoon (Yeah)

False God: Got the wine for you

YNTCD: But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón

seasons/weather:

Lover: i've loved you three summers now, honey, but i want 'em all

Cruel Summer: every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)

ME!: livin' in winter, i am your summer // And when we had that fight out in the rain

Cornelia Street: windows flung right open, autumn air

Miss American: and now the storm is coming

Paper Rings: in the winter, in the icy outdoor pool //i want your dreary mondays

towns/places:

I Forgot That You Existed: free rent, living in my mind // would've fought the whole town, so yeah

Miss Americana: american glory faded before me // we paint the town blue

Cornelia Street: and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name

Daylight: maybe i've stormed out of every single room in this town // my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in // back and forth from new york (sneaking in your bed)

Death By A Thousand Cuts: our country, guess it was a lawless land // the only thing we share is this small town

London Boy: I love my hometown as much as Motown (and basically the entire song)

False God: Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town // I'm New York City you're the West Village

home: 

Cornelia Street: as if the street lights pointed in an arrow head leading us home // memorize the creaks in the floor // walk me back to that apartment

London Boy: They say home is where the heart is But that's not where mine lives

Its Nice to Have A Friend: Feels like home

False God: years ago, we were just inside barefoot in the kitchen

Lover // and this is our place, we make the rules // Take me out, and take me home

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I take the long way home

I Think He Knows: When we get all alone, I'll make myself at home

Paper Rings: Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

death/blood/fighting/conflict:

The Archer (obviously): combat, i'm ready for combat // i've been the archer, i've been the prey // i pace like a ghost

Cruel Summer: what doesn't kill me makes me want you more // summer's a knife// and if i bleed, you'll be the last to know // i'm not dying // killing me slow, out the window

I Forgot That You Existed: and i thought that it would kill me, but it didn't

and ran for my life 

Afterglow: I pinned your hands behind your back, thought I had reason to attack, but no// Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves// Tell me this love is worth the fight, oh

Death By A Thousand Cuts

conflicting emotions/ secrecy:

The Archer: I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches i almost said to you // I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

Cruel Summer: and if i bleed, you'll be the last to know // i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you // and i snuck in through the garden gate // said, "i'm fine," but it wasn't true

daylight: sneaking in your bed

Death By A Thousand Cuts: ’Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

Soon You’ll Get Better: I just pretend it isn't real // I didn't tell you I was scared

childhood/youth:

The Archer: i never grew up, it's getting so old // All the king's horses, all the king's men couldn't put me together again

I Think He Knows: it's like i'm 17, nobody understands // He got that boyish look that I like in a man

London Boy: like a child when our eyes meet

Miss Americana: I'm crazier for you than I was at 16

rules/games

Cruel Summer: devils roll the dice // no rules in breakable heaven

Daylight: there are so many lines that i've crossed unforgiven

Miss Americana: you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes // voted most likely to run away with you // my team is losing, battered and bruising // i see the high fives between the bad guys

Lover: and this is our place, we make the rules

spiritual

Cruel Summer: he looks up, grinning like a devil // devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes // no rules in breakable heaven

Soon You’ll Get Better: Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too

False God (the whole song): Religion's in your lips even if it's a false god // We'd still worship this love // The altar is my hips // I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you // Make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness

Cornelia Street: Sacred new beginnings that became my religion, listen

school/classrooms:

I forgot that you existed: laughed on the school yard as soon as I tripped up and hit the ground, ground, ground.

miss Americana: they whisper in the hallway, "she's a bad, bad girl" // the whole school is rolling fake dice

It's Nice To Have a Friend (the entire song, but specifically:) school bell rings, walk me home

London Boy: we are watching rugby with his school friends

Stories:

Cornelia Street: We were a fresh page on the desk Filling in the blanks as we go

Death By A Thousand Cuts: But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

driving/car/streets:

Paper Rings: I want to drive away with you

The Archer: I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I Think He Knows: His footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can't stop // He got my heartbeat skipping down 16th Avenue // hand on my thigh we could follow the sparks, I'll drive 

Cornelia Street: We were in the backseat // I say casually in the car // You hold my hand on the street

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright they say, "I don't know"

London Boy: a rainy cab ride

False God: They say the road gets hard and you get lost

It's Nice to Have A Friend: Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

burn/fire:

The Archer // The room is on fire, invisible smoke

Afterglow: Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us // I'm the one who burned us down

Miss Americana: American stories burning before me

Daylight: Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke

Taylor just being so, so in love

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? 

It's you and me, that's my whole world // It's you and me, there's nothing like this

you are the only one who seems to care

Three times 'cause I waited my whole life

Darling, you're the one I want

Just wanna be with you, wanna be with you

You're the only one of you, baby, that's the fun of you

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you. I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I want you, bless my soul

You know I adore you, I'm crazier for you

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be over dramatic and true to my lover

This originally started out as 3 subtitles and then as I was going through the lyrics I found SO MANY THEMES and i was like “???” because I had never even picked up on them before. So before I knew it I was going through the lyrics for the 3rd time and being mind blown. There’s still some more subtle themes I didn’t list (for e.g hopelessness, fear and more!) but I did a lot!! Hope you enjoyed, this took forever!!

p.s do I want to make one of these theme lists for every song Taylor has ever written...mayhaps. It would simply be so interesting because Taylor constantly refers to old songs and !! but I know it would take forever to go through her whole discography :(( Perhaps I’ll do this with some other albums separately though!

#taylor swift #taylor #swift #tumblr #songs #album #london boy #cornelia street #false god #lover #i think he knows #paper rings #cruel summer #song analysis #lyrics #themes #daylight #you need to calm down #ME! #music #miss americana #afterglow #death by a thousand cuts #breakup #sad #song #pop music #13 #the archer #kaylor

[thehollowprince]

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels

Episode 1: Santa Muerte - Recap and Review

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT BELOW THE CUT

The episode opens with a Mexican standoff (ba dum tsh) between Santa Muerte (Lorenza Izzo) and her “sister” Magda (Natalie Dormer), who seriously has to be roasting under the Southern California sun in that black leather outfit.  (Sidenote, how does a Mexican folk spirit/deity have a British woman as a sister?  Guess she was adopted.)  Anyway, Magda is monologuing, as villains tend to do, saying “All mankind needs to become the monster he truly is, is being told he can.”  They go back and forth for a minute, and I was eerily reminded of the movie Constantine that came out many moons ago.  Y’know the one, right?  Loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the comic character?  Played by Keanu Reeves?  That was the vibe I go here, with Santa Muerte and Magda making some kind of bet about the “worthiness” of mankind.  (I also got strong jealous ex vibes from Magda in this scene, but we’ll see how that goes).

So we start the action by showing a field of Mexican-American laborers working the fields with a little boy sitting on the truck, picking the music they listen to.  His father jokes about his choice of music before getting back to work.  Now I’ll be the first to admit that everything that played out next was just this side of tone deaf.  I understand that Magda is the villain here, and wants to see humanity burn, but having a white woman set fire to a field full of brown people, resulting in several deaths kind of defeats the message they’re trying to send with this show, but I will suspend my disbelief for a little while to see how all of this plays out.

All in all, it was a beautiful shot, as gruesome as it was, with the flames, and then seeing Santa Muerte cradling the boy’s father as he died in the flames all while La Llorona played in the background.  The boy tries to save his father, but Santa Muerte uses the Force to push him away, despite not even two minutes earlier claiming she “had no heart for the living”.  Must be something special about this boy.

Cut to 1938 and the boy is all grown up.  Tiago Vega (Daniel Zovatto) just passed his exam to become a detective, the first Chicano detective in Los Angeles.  His Mamá (Adrianna Barraza) prepared him a cake to celebrate the occasion, and we get to meet the rest of La Familia Vega.  First there’s Mateo (Johnathan Nieves), who is seriously adorable.  Next is Josefina (Jessica Garza), who is the baby of the family.  And then finally we get the big brother, Raul (Adam Rodriguez), who “mysteriously” isn’t a part of the main cast.

Anyway, Raul is not happy about his baby brother being a detective, given the Mexican and Mexican-American relations with law enforcement, which... valid.  He has a point.  But Mamá quickly shuts Raul down when he tries to be a Negative Nancy and they celebrate as a family.  Cut to later, and Mamá is walking Tiago to the bus, and they remark about the construction equipment at the end of the street.  Here we’re introduced to the main conflict of the story.  Their neighborhood is set to be demolished to make way for construction for the Arroyo Seco Parkway, the first of the LA freeways.  Mamá remarks about the machines, likening them to animals baring their teeth at her, before Tiago gets on the bus to go to his apartment, because he’s the only member of the family to move away from home.

By the way, I will never complain about the size of my apartment again after seeing how tiny Tiago’s is.

Cut to the next morning, where the phone rings, waking Tiago up, and it’s his new partner on the phone.  Congratulations!  You get to start two days early with no prep time.  Said partner, Detective Lewis Michener, is played by Nathan Lane like you’ve never seen him before.  And as an aside, just hearing him drop the F-bomb made my day.  The reason they’re starting early is because their was a homicide, and the captain himself called them specifically.  The murder is a family of four, dropped in the Los Angeles river bed, their faces painted in Dia De Muertos makeup.  Also, there’s a message scrawled nearby in blood (or red paint)

TE LLEVAS NEUSTRO CORAZON TOMAMOS EL TUYO 

“You take our heart, we take yours.”  If you haven’t guessed it by now, the hearts of the four victims had been removed.  This all ties back to the Arroyo Seco Parkway and how it’s planned to cut through the heart of the Chicano community.  Michener makes the connection as to why they were called, “It’s a spick thing.”  (Fair warning, that kind of language, while not super common in this show, isn’t exactly uncommon.)

Elsewhere, Mamá is getting off the bus in a fancy part of town, because she’s a maid to Peter Craft (alum Rory Kinnear), who is a German immigrant with two sons and a wife that looks a little strung out.  This scene is pretty filler, but it establishes the dynamic of Craft’s household, with him talking to Mamá before his own wife.  He leaves for work, listening to tape recordings in his car as a way to practice on getting rid of his accent to blend in and “be more American”  It was kind of adorable.

Back at the police precinct, Tiago got blood on his cuff from the crime scene and MIchener tells him to just throw the shirt out.  Que the racist cops who harass Tiago, because the audience needs to understand just how unwelcome a Chicano detective is among his all white peers.  The two visit their captain and discover that their four victims are a wealthy family from Beverly Hills, which judging by everyone’s reactions in the scene is a pretty big deal for some reason.  There was a horrible moment where the captain says “You have no idea how much I wished those bodies were Mexican” before he realizes who is in the room and adds a halfhearted “No Offense.”  I have to say, Tiago has way more patience than I do for shrugging it off.  The captain decides that it’s obviously Mexicans behind the murders and Michener suggests pachucos. 

Now we’re back with Craft, who is a pediatrician, and his current patient is the son of... Natalie Dormer... but now she’s blonde?  Elsa is concerned about her son Frank’s breathing problems and talks with the doctor privately about it, revealing that she’s also a German immigrant, originally from Berlin, “but now we’re in Boyle Heights, with the Jews” (seriously not a fan of how she said that, which I’m guessing is the point, but only time will tell).  There’s a moment between the two, with him offering her his handkerchief when she starts crying.  

After she leaves, we get one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve ever seen.  It takes a lot to unnerve me, but this scene unnerved me.  If you’re going into this show blind, let this be the moment when you find out that all the characters played by Natalie Dormer are all Magda, who shapeshifts into other people to further influence the negative emotions of those around her, bringing out the worst in humanity.  Well, “Elsa” enters the elevator with her “son” and unbuttons her blouse before placing his head against her stomach.  She absorbs him back into herself like some sort of weird reverse-birth, taking him “back to the womb” as it were.  It wasn’t overly graphic, but it unnerved me nonetheless. 

Back at the doctor’s office, one of his nurses asks what he wants for lunch and he says he’ll be going out.  He walks over to his closet and opens it, revealing a Nazi flag and uniform.  Abort!  

Abort!

At the city hall there is a meeting of the City Council, or some division of it involving transportation.  Its a meeting to discuss the Arroyo Seco Parkway, with almost everyone in attendance being Mexican, led, of course, by Tiago’s older brother Raul.  Gotta have that brother-against-brother angle.  The guy leading the meeting is some douchebag named Townsend (Michael Gladis).There’s a standoff between him and Raul over this parkway, with Townsend telling them to “go back where they came from”, which Raul responds rather cheekily to the fact that he was born in the Los Angeles County Hospital, same as him.

Raul: “When progress becomes barbarity, it ceases to be in the public interest.  We are the public, sir, no matter the color of our skin, and we will not be moved.”

Townsend: “Then you will be pushed.”

Naturally from there it ends in police brutality, with the cops on scene beating Raul with their clubs as they drag him from the city hall, despite it being open to the public.  And people wonder why no one likes the police? Although, I do love the fact that they made Raul so well-spoken.  Given how they’re presented as poorer, it would have been so easy to fall back on that illiterate Mexican trope, but they shied away from that, and I’m grateful.

After the meeting, Townsend is walking down the hall with Natalie Dormer by his side, this time as a gray-haired, middle-aged woman?  Man?  It’s unclear at first, until we get a wide shot and we see that she’s wearing a skirt with her masculine suit and tie combo, so definitely a woman.  Personally, I would have been okay if this persona - Alex - had been a man, but that’s just me.  Anyway, Alex is just feeding this blowhard’s ego, and he equates himself to Mussolini, and then Hitler (ABORT!).  The topic turns to more motorways, stuff to keep Townsend in the papers for some unknown purpose.

And we’re back to the Michener and Vega hour, where the two detectives are enjoying their lunch break when we hear drums and look up to see Nazis - I’m sorry, the German-American Bund - walking down the street in full regalia with Craft at their head.  Craft gives a big speech about staying out of foreign affairs (it’s 1938 and WWII is just about to start), saying “America First”.  Michener is giving them the stink eye and it’s at this point I remembered that he’s Jewish, so odds are he knows full well what the ideology behind the Nazi Party, even if their worst crimes are still ahead of them.

Michener insists they go, with the two heading over to Beverly Hills to investigate the home of the murder victims.  Inside there’s a portrait of who I thought was Joseph Smith above the fireplace, which I guess means these people were Mormons.  The radio, when turned on, is playing some Radio Evangelist (this is before Televangelism became a thing), and I think the woman preaching is the last member of our cast, Sister Molly (Kerry Bishé).  The two investigate the house and determine that the family wasn’t murdered there, though they do discover that the father was one of the guys behind the Arroyo Seco Parkway.

The plot thickens.

Cut to a shadowy meeting at the bluffs between Townsend and Baron von Strucker from the MCU.  Ugh, more Nazis.  The new Nazi talks to Townsend about getting him the position of Mayor of Los Angeles, to further their own agenda, and warns him that his driver is a Gestapo agent and has been told to shoot Townsend if the meeting does not go their way.

Later that night, we’re in downtown L.A., presumably in a Mexican-American neighborhood where Mateo works.  There’s some hanky panky going on in the store where he’s stocking shelves where some random dude and his sister, Josefina, are getting to second base.  Mateo puts the kibosh on that quickly, chasing the boy from the store while shouting obscenities, before arguing with this sister, until Mamá shows up and sets them both straight.  There’s a poignant moment between mother and son where he remarks about how as a Chicano, his options for the future are limited, that Tiago was the exception, not the rule.

Speaking of Tiago, he shows up to ask about Santa Muerte and if his mother had heard anything about something going on, as he recognized the face paint on the murder victims.  It’s revealed that he doesn’t believe in Santa Muerte, though his mother does and remarks about him being “marked”, revealing that he was the little boy from the beginning.  We all know that something bigger is going on, but Tiago is unconvinced, and this is the one time we see him and Mamá butt heads.  There’s a moment where the two calm down before we get a really cute scene of Tiago dancing with his mother.

That moment slides into a moment between Los Hermanos Vega, which starts nicely but ends up tense and serious, as they talk about the construction of the parkway to begin on Monday, which requires Tiago to be with the police but his brothers will be with the neighborhood.  I think they’re taking this brother-against-brother thing a little far.

Mamá is praying to Santa Muerte, begging for help, and Santa Muerte actually shows up, calling Mamá “Old Coyote” (I think).  The two argue, with the former mentioning a prophecy and the Vega matriarch begging for any kind of help because she wants to protect her children.  After Santa Muerte leaves, Mamá goes to Tiago’s apartment and implores him to try and stop the protest the next day, before chugging his whiskey.

As the episode started, that’s how we end it, with a Mexican standoff, this time between the police and the residents of Belvidere Heights.  Tiago hands his gun to Michener and tries to talk down his neighborhood, to avoid bloodshed, facing off directly with his brothers who are at the front of the opposing crowd, but unbeknownst to all of them, Magda is there (in her “true” form) pacing in front of the police.  She finds one officer and we see her whispering in his ear, which leads to him firing his gun, killing one of the protesters.  Gunfire erupts and chaos ensues, leading to a full blown riot.  Magda ends up whispering to Raul next and he takes a gun and starts shooting police officers, eventually aiming his gun at Michener.  In a heartbreaking moment, Tiago shoots his own brother to stop him from killing his partner, all while La Llorona is once again playing in the background.

All in all, I’d give the episode an 8/10.  It was a great start, introducing most of the key players involved and getting the conflict started right away, but there are still a lot of questions.  Also, there were too many Nazis in this for my liking.  I understand the point they’re trying to make, being a parallel to today, with Nazis being everywhere and no one batting an eye about it, but it’s still unsettling.

Can’t wait to see how this all turns out.

#recap and review #penny dreadful: city of angels #penny dreadful city of angels #penny dreadful