#time. having endured so much pain i do not want to ever inflict it on others. but i want to stop hurting. life is a series of decisions and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

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#time. having endured so much pain i do not want to ever inflict it on others. but i want to stop hurting. life is a series of decisions and

matryosika · 4 months

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Mark; Power Dynamic and Other Analysis

Wordcount: 1,065 words Includes: Silly little headcanons Genre: Smut, 18+ Author’s note: This is purely based on my imagination and the vibes I get from him. You may or may not agree with me, and that’s completely okay —this is only me free associating for a thousand words straight. Please enjoy whatever this is, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me! Credits: MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune !

First things first, I sense that Mark loves to be in control.

With that being said, I honestly don't picture him as a hard dominant. He might not even care about roles, anyway, but he is naturally leaning towards the dominant side.

He is really playful with the role, though. Mark is such a tease, and really creates an environment in which you can feel comfortable. He takes it upon himself to reassure you in every step of the fucking way —if he feels like you’re shying away from him, he would do anything just to bring you back to him.

For instance, I feel like one of his priorities in bed is to make sure you feel comfortable exposing yourself to him. I can really see him being into body worshiping and might even kneel in front of you and kiss your body from head to toe, whispering sweet nothings while asking all the right questions: "do you like it when I kiss you like this?, "does it feel good?", "do you want me touch you here?", and so on.

Despite the natural dominance I see in him, I do feel like he can get needier and more desperate than you, and he is not really ashamed of expressing it. This man is whiny, might even beg you to let him please you. And it's good that he is very talkative, because I just know his voice gets deeper and raspier in sexual contexts. At the same time, he is not really that loud; it's all whispers and murmurs, half of his words are muffled because he just has to have his lips attached to your skin and flesh.

But when I say he is talkative, I mean it. The type to curse under his breath, and even start rambling about how much he loves you and how good you're making him feel. At one point he stops making any sense, because he is no longer thinking with his head but his dick.

Mark might seem shy and collected at first, but I feel like the most he progresses into a sexual encounter, the less timid and more primal he becomes.

But even then, I don't picture him as someone who might enjoy degrading or humiliating you, and certain practices like impact play might be a big no for him. I feel like he could try if you asked him to, but I don't think he would enjoy it just for the sake of slapping or spanking you. If he does enjoy it, it's probably out of ego —the fact that you're trusting him enough to ask him such things, and that you're enjoying them.

But, willingly, I don't think Mark would ever inflict pain on you like that.

Overstimulation and denial, however, are a whole other topic for him. He doesn't mind hurting you a little if he knows you can take it, and that it can become pleasure in exchange for a little pain —the way he proves your loyalty is through how good you're at following his orders and how willing you're to leave your pleasure aside, or endure a little pain, just because he asked you to.

Mark is a hopeless romantic, and that translates into sex as a somewhat possessive partner. He is only yours, as long as you prove to him that you're only his. He is going to love you passionately if only you can do the same for him; he never hesitates when it comes to you, and he expects you to be the same when it comes to him.

Because of this passion and intensity, I think he is very much the jealous type. Get jealous easily, and might act a little bit impulsive on it. Also, he isn't afraid of bringing said topics with you —if something bothers him, he will tell you without beating around the bush. It may conflict him, and he might get shy when talking to you about whatever it was that upsetted him, but he never keeps such things for himself.

That's kind of relevant because I think the possessive, jealous part of him really makes an appearance in bed —he wants to hear you say how you belong to him, and him only; how your body it's only his to touch and kiss, how you don't want anyone else but him.

Mark wants everything there is of you —your mind, heart and body.

And that's why sex is always so intense; not necessarily rough, but emotionally I feel like he brings a shit ton of vulnerability and he needs you to do the same. Sex with him it's always so fucking intimate, and it can get really filthy because trust is one of the most important things for him —he doesn't care about the mess, as long as it is your mess (with this I mean like certain fluids or things one might find disgusting, but to him they really aren’t).

He might be an experimentalist; he is willing to try everything at least once before deciding if he is into it or not. He’s also pretty good at communicating and putting his thoughts and emotions into words, so that gives me the impression that he is really in touch with himself and his preferences.

So, going back to the power dynamic bit, I don't see Mark willingly and fully submitting to you. Although I said he might not even care about those sorts of roles, I feel like he is the most comfortable with being in charge of your pleasure and his. For some it might be a burden, but not for him —he leans towards dominance naturally, not to assert it but because he likes it.

Mark is always gentle, but in the midst of things I really believe he can manhandle you unintentionally. He might squeeze your hands a bit too harshly, or grip your hips a bit too rough; not to hurt you, but because he loses his mind in between. He gets so drunk on you and your body, that he just forgets the whole world surrounding him but you.

To wrap things up, I must say he is a fucking great kisser. I do see him as someone who kisses sloppily, but in a "I definitely know what I'm doing" kind of way. He bites, and uses tongue, and just makes sure to kiss you deeply until your mouth is full of him. Mark either places his hands on each side of your face or takes you by your waist to press his body against yours.

#nct smut #mark smut #kpop smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #mark lee smut

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yandere-sins · 14 days

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i have read all of your genshin yandere works and just mwah, beautiful. is diluc the type of yandere to break his darling, do you think? like intentionally, unintentionally? or would he ever give up and let his darling go free under like very specific circumstances or agreements? sorry if you were already asked this and i somehow accidentally missed it!

That's such a good question! Honestly, I feel like for Diluc, it's more of an unintentional breaking, but let's be honest: the psyche can only endure so much, and after being locked away and robbed of their autonomy, I don't see much hope for a darling. He thinks he's making the best choice for them, but living like he invisions just... isn't.

I don't see him intentionally letting them go either... especially not if they have a breakdown. But, I got some idea for this so I hope you enjoy it just as much!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"I... I just can't."

With your wrist still locked in his grip, having been caught in motion to avoid your punch, Diluc felt your body sag before he even understood what was happening. Your voice, booming and screaming, had been so prevalent in his mind, the insults shooting directly into his heart like piercing sharp arrows, causing havoc to every inch of his being, that your feeble, foreboding words didn't register as fast.

And yet, before your knees could hit the floor, before you could inflict more pain to yourself—the only pain he couldn't save you from—he caught you. His arms, as strong and steady as his resolve to save you from the cruelty of the world, wrapped around your waist, interrupting your descend to the ground. However, Diluc realized quickly he could not prevent it from happening as your strength just seemed to vanish as the seconds passed by.

Together, you two sunk, his knees the only ones getting bruised as he cushioned the fall for you, one more plea of devotion that went unnoticed. And yet, when he let go of your wrist, it didn't collapse to your side, but to his shoulder, fingers burying into his coat, making him regret not changing his attire to something cleaner, more comfortable for you.

There was no sound accompanying the end of the war you had been waging with him, although he was a passive bystander in the chaos you created. It was so quiet; even the candle burning on your nightstand was louder than your shallow breaths of defeat. It almost made him nervous. Diluc had heard enough dying breaths to know the signs, but your fingers were so strongly interwoven with the fabric around his body that he knew it couldn't be. You were holding on to him as you were losing yourself.

Just to be sure, he wrapped his arms tighter around you.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice breaking between the words as the situation finally realized in his mind. It was strange. You never faltered when you were angry, never stopped ignoring him, no matter how painful it was for him. And yet, you stopped abruptly, the mood snapping like a weak twig beneath his feet, touched him and held on for dear life. As if it was his fault, and yet, you let him reap the rewards.

It was everything he ever wanted.

Having you clutch to him, whatever the reason may be, and being able to hold you back without your palms shoved into his chest, your eyes filled with hatred as you told him to "back off". Have you rely on him, use him for comfort, and let him give you all the remnants of love he could still harbor in his heart that his past had burnt into a crisp. Something terrible was happening, and yet, as Diluc watched you deflate, resting on his lap like a lover rather than a prisoner, he was smiling for the first time in a long while.

"I can't," you whispered, your voice hoarse and damaged from yelling, too weak to speak up. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep living like this, I'm... I'm tired."

For a moment, no one said anything, the silence so much more telling than any explanation could be. Yet, like an idiot, Diluc wished you'd speak up. Give him a verbal sign of what was going on—any, really.

And you did. Your head lowered to his chest as if it was too heavy to hold, your body sagging a bit more on his lap. Luckily, his arms were already there to catch you, his palms coming to rest across your back, steading you, the touch searing. For the first time in his life, he was afraid of burning off his own fingertips, and yet, he didn't move them away from you, unable to waste this moment. You might never let him touch you like this again. Hold you. Comfort you.

That's when it finally hit him.

It took him long enough, but perhaps you needed the time to come to terms with it, too. His heart lept while yours seemed to settle. Diluc was overcome with love and adoration while you banished the last forces of fight from your mind, sinking into exhaustion. It's been years and you only realized now that you lost a war that was never one to begin with. You've used up all your resources and burned through all your motivation. All that was left was an ashen battlefield, you and him.

It wasn't until many hours later that Diluc put you to bed, having held you through most of the night while you slept. The irking feeling that maybe it would be back to normal tomorrow didn't deter him from enjoying the peace he was starting to get addicted to. Brushing your hair out of your face and leaving a few kisses on your forehead, cheeks, and a brazen one on your lips, he admired your sleeping face, your brows furrowed but otherwise peaceful visage.

Even if things were to change the next day, he was thankful for this wonderful night, wishing for it to never end, and yet he couldn't wait to see what more there was to come. Every day with you was just that special. Diluc didn't realize the loss that had happened. Unable to feel anything but gratitude for your change of attitude.

And in a spur-of-the-moment decision, he shrugged off his coat and pushed off his boots, joining you by your side in the bed, something he never allowed himself to do. It felt right. Like the place he belonged. Resting his arms around you, he now knew how it could be, already getting addicted to the feeling of being close to you.

Maybe you'd soon wake him up with another screaming and crying outburst, but that night had fueled him with enough love for you to keep going, even more sure now that what he did was the right thing.

Diluc won that night, and his fire continued to burn through everything you held dear. Your pride, your freedom, your whole essence of being. Yet his fire just kept on spreading, rising, devouring everything, fueled by love that only seemed to keep coming the more you gave up.

Until you were completely engulfed in his flames, unable to ever distinguish them.

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joodlepo · 2 years

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Stray Kids Reactions / To Squirting (18+)

Summary / After an intense fucking session, Stray Kids' members are left in a state of post-orgasmic bliss. However, each member is left with their own unique reaction to seeing you squirt for the first time!

A/N / Hello~! I'm very excited to say that I'm officially taking requests right now, so if you want to request something from me, feel free. I'm not a professional writer or anything, but I can try my best! Please make sure to read my requests guidelines first before requesting! Thank you!

Pairings / (Top) Every Member + (F) Reader

Word Count / 11.0k

Warnings / Squirting, Spanking, Bondage, Choking, Humiliation, Fingering, Degradation, Multiple Orgasms, Roughness, Aftercare, Hard Domination,

Bang Chan / A series of hard smacks fell flat against your ass, each one making your flesh ripple and sting. You couldn't help but wince, the pain was almost too much to take in. Chan wasn't going easy on you; and he wanted this as bad as you did, if not more so.

Your body felt like it would burst into flames at any moment, with all that heat rushing through every inch of your skin. He didn't stop until you were sobbing out loud for him to let up, begging him silently between gasps for air to please just give you a break, before you passed out right here. The humiliation that burned inside you was even worse than the fire burning within your cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Chan said softly, once you had quieted enough to hear him over your own breathing. "But, I have to make sure my babygirl learns her place~"

His tone became more gentle when he spoke, and you knew exactly what he meant by that sentence. You whimpered quietly beneath him, while tears began to stream freely down your face. It hurt so badly...

No. You have to endure it.

You loved this man too much to ever tell him no or walk away. Even now, laying helplessly under his firm grip and heavy palm, you wouldn't dream of doing anything other than taking whatever punishment he dished out, however harsh it may be. His love for you was far greater than the pain he could inflict upon you, after all.

So, instead of crying out in despair, you simply held yourself perfectly still and endured his assault without complaint, only letting out soft whimpers of agony whenever he struck a particularly painful spot on your rear end, which seemed to happen often.

"Ahh..." You mewled softly, biting back another cry as yet another slap rang loudly off your butt cheek. "Chan, p-please—"

Chan growled lowly in response, tightening his hold around you, before pounding himself deeply into you with renewed vigor, eliciting a fresh round of cries from both of you. Trembling beneath him, you felt weak and shaky, completely unable to do anything else but hold onto the bedsheets tightly and grit your teeth together as he thrusts into you mercilessly, ignoring how wet he'd made you already.

Every thrust sent sharp bolts of pleasure coursing through your lower regions, making them throb madly and beg for release, though you refused to allow it, at the risk being punished even further.

"Shhh... babygirl." He cooed soothingly, rubbing circles along your backside where he'd hit you most harshly. " It'll be okay soon... Just hang in there a bit longer, alright?"

The thought of enduring more punishment filled your mind, but you forced yourself to nod anyways. You weren't about to disappoint him either way.

As always, Chan's words proved true within moments. He began to slow down, giving you time to catch your breath between each thrust. After several long seconds, he began to move again, slowly at first, then faster and harder as the passion built inside you. Soon enough, he picked up speed dramatically, slamming into you roughly over and over until you cried out incoherently, shaking uncontrollably underneath him.

Each deep plunge left you feeling raw and exposed, causing an intense wave of sensation to wash over your entire body as he plundered you relentlessly, leaving nothing untouched save your poor, abused bottom.

"Ahh! Fuck... I-I can't take anymore!" You gasped, writhing wildly beneath him.

Chan swiftly continued to ignore you, pounding into you forcefully regardless, driving you closer and closer towards climax. With a gasp, you came undone, screaming wordlessly into the sheets as waves of pleasure crashed over you, sending you spiraling deeper into oblivion with each passing second. Panting and trembling, you tried desperately to get some semblance of composure, but found that impossible given the intensity of your orgasm.

All sense fled from you as the blissful euphoria consumed you, leaving only your core pulsating with unending desire, yearning to feel Chan's touch once more. However, one single action stopped him dead in his tracks.

Your eyes shot open wide in surprise as you started to squirt all over his cock, drenching him with your juices. Your legs quivered violently beneath you, buckling slightly as you trembled and shuddered with pleasure. At last, Chan slowed his pace considerably, allowing you to come down from your high slowly. When he finally pulled free of you, you collapsed bonelessly against the mattress, panting heavily and staring blankly ahead.

For a good minute, neither one of you moved. Chan was in complete shock, his jaw hanging slack and his hand frozen halfway toward your ass. On the other side, you were utterly mortified. Not because of the fact that you just orgasmed like a slutty little whore, but rather, the fact that you had done so right in front of him.

The very thought of him seeing your naked body sprawled out across his bed, glistening with your arousal, turned you beet red, despite everything.

"Woah... what happened? Are you alright?" He asked nervously, moving forward gingerly to check on you.

You nodded shyly, blushing furiously. "I'm fine..."

Still unsure of whether he should believe you or not, Chan sat beside you and gently brushed your hair aside. "Are you sure? You uhm... squirted pretty hard there..."

"Y-Yeah, I did. I'm sorry if I had ruined the mood for us," You said apologetically, averting his gaze from him.

Chan's brow furrowed worriedly, and he leaned down to give you a kiss. "It's okay. That was actually kinda hot. Maybe I should start being rough more often..."

"R-Really?!" You exclaimed excitedly, tilting your head up to look at him.

A mischievous grin spread across his face, dimples appearing in his cheeks and causing you to smile bashfully in return. "Mhm. Just as long as you keep squirting for me, babygirl~"

The two of you shared another quick peck, before he began to pleasure your insides with his fingers, coaxing out several small aftershocks from your sensitive pussy.

His thumb rubbed teasing circles around your clit while his finger worked its magic, bringing you quickly back to full strength. As much as you wanted him to continue, however, he knew better than to push your limits any further tonight. Instead, he simply teased you mercilessly, prolonging the inevitable by making you wait for it.

Lee Minho / Minho's moist tongue didn't hesitate to plunge itself deep into your pussy, causing you to gasp audibly. The feeling of his lips on your clit was incredible — almost too much to bear at first. He lapped up every drop that spilled out from between your legs, then going back for more. You were so turned on by the sight of him devouring you like this; it made your insides softly melt away into pure pleasure.

His hands stroked down over your thighs as he ate you, pressing against them in a way that felt quite intimate. Your whole body tingled all over when he did this, especially where his fingers dug into your skin. It wasn't long before you began buckling under the pressure of how good everything felt. You couldn't take anymore without coming...

"Minho," You whimpered softly, "I'm gonna—"

"You better not." Minho threatened darkly, shoving two thick fingers inside you, curving them so they rubbed directly across your g-spot while still thrusting his tongue hard and fast along your throbbing clit. "Don't even think about cumming until I tell you to... or else. Got it?"

He punctuated each word with another lick, and the stimulation sent waves rippling through you, causing goose bumps to break out all over your arms and shoulders. Everything seemed far away now, except for those delicious sensations flooding through your entire being. They grew stronger until there was no stopping what happened next. A sharp gasp escapes, and suddenly your stomach lurched violently.

The room began to spin around you, making your head spin even more than it already had been. But instead of falling off the bed or passing out altogether, something else took control: your orgasmic bliss.

All of it washed over you like a wave, crashing down upon you one last time. This new sensation was close to giving you such an intense release unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. Still, you did your absolute best to hold it back — knowing full well how Minho would react if you didn't, but also wanting desperately to prolong what felt like the most amazing thing imaginable.

"Don't stop!" You cry out loudly, grabbing onto Minho's hair tightly as he continues eating you out rather greedily. "Fuck! Don't stop, don't fucking stop, please just keep going... I can't take no more..."

"Needy little bitch," He growls, continuing to lap up every bit of cum that spills from within you. You're panting heavily, trying desperately not to lose consciousness. "Although, hearing you beg me to do things is kinda hot~"

Minho pulls his mouth away, licking his lips slowly.

He looks up at you with a wicked grin on his face, which only makes your heart skip several beats in response. No doubt, he knew exactly how sexy he looked right now, looking all smug and satisfied after pleasuring you so thoroughly. Then, without warning, he grabs you roughly by the hips and flips you over. You squeak loudly, but only because of the suddenness of it all, otherwise you wouldn't have cared about being manhandled.

As soon as you lay face down on the sheets, Minho sits back up, lifting both your legs high above your head. Before you can protest, he takes advantage of this position and enters, pushing himself deeper each time. With your lower half raised in the air, there isn't anywhere for you to go except forward. And once again, you feel completely powerless to resist. You're held firmly in place as Minho begins pounding you mercilessly, his cock sliding easily and deeply within you.

There's nothing stopping him from doing whatever he wants, and you know it.

Suddenly, you felt your own mind going blank. There's nothing but pleasure. Nothing but Minho. As he pounds into you harder and faster, your body begins to shake uncontrollably. You squeeze tight around his shaft, trying to pull him even further inside you. Every part of you feels hypersensitive, like your nerves are firing off signals at random. Even breathing becomes difficult.

Out of nowhere, you feel a intense surge of juices burst out from between your legs, coating Minho's cock. You gasp aloud, surprised at yourself, but you don't care. Liquid drips down onto your inner thighs, pooling around your knees. Your eyes roll back into your head, and you start moaning louder and louder, unable to help it.

Everything around you seems distant, fading quickly away.

Your whole world is reduced to Minho's cock plunging relentlessly inside you, filling you entirely. Over and over again, he buries himself deep inside you, taking all of your essence and leaving none behind. It's almost painful, feeling every inch of him stretching you wide open. Yet somehow, that pain is turned to pure ecstasy.

All too suddenly, Minho stops, pulling his dick out of you with a loud pop. You let out a disappointed moan, reaching blindly toward him. A second later, though, you hear him laugh.

"Damn," He says playfully, "Look at all the juice you made for me~!"

His words bring you back to reality. Forcing your eyelids open, you look down between your legs. Sure enough, a large puddle of clear liquid has formed underneath you, covering folds of your skin in sticky strands of fluid. You reach down to touch it, then immediately recoil when you realize what you've done.

"Shit," You say out loud, wiping the mess off your hand onto the sheet beneath you. "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? This?" Minho asks, sounding amused. "You should feel proud. That stuff was pretty much the sexiest thing I think I've seen yet."

"Sexy?" You ask incredulously, glancing up at him. "Are you serious? We were just—"

Before you can finish your sentence, Minho leans down and kisses you hard on the lips. His tongue slips past your parted lips, exploring your mouth eagerly. You whimper softly, still shocked by how quickly everything happened. But before long, you find yourself kissing him back, letting him lead the way. His hands move up your sides, cupping your breasts possessively. They bounce slightly as he squeezes them, causing you to squeal lightly.

"Just what? Just started having sex?" Minho teases, leaning back up and smirking. "That doesn't count."

"Shut up," You reply with an annoyed sigh, rolling your eyes. You glance down at the mess you made, noticing for the first time how wet your thighs actually are. The bedsheets were soaked through, and there's no denying it; you came quite a bit during those last few minutes. Not that you minded, of course.

Seo Changbin / Changbin's hand gently wrapped around your throat, carful to not hurt you. You whimpered and squirmed as he leaned in closer so his lips could kiss yours softly on the neck. He slowly ran a finger along your jawline down, and towards your earlobe, where it would rest for just an instant, before sliding back up again. His breath was hot against your skin, and you shivered from head-to-toe with anticipation of what else he had planned.

Your hands were free now that they weren't holding onto him anymore, but Changbin didn't seem inclined to let go yet. Instead, he began tracing lines all over your body; starting at your collarbone then moving upwards until his fingers found their way under your shirt. The moment he touched bare flesh, you gasped out loud and pulled away slightly - only to have him grip even tighter around your waist, preventing any escape.

"I won't be gentle," He whispered into your ear, sending another wave of goosebumps through every inch of your body. "You're mine now."

He slid both hands up underneath your bra, cupping each breast carefully while keeping one hand firmly clamped around your stomach. Your breathing grew heavier when his thumb grazed across your nipple and sent tingling sensations throughout your entire chest.

With no other option available right now, you simply nodded silently and closed your eyes tight as if hoping this whole ordeal would never end... And fortunately, it seemed like things were about to get much more interesting between the two of you very shortly.

As he continued kissing you passionately, Changbin unclasped your bra completely. It fell off your shoulders and landed somewhere near the bed behind you, leaving you naked and exposed to him once again. With nothing left to hide, you decided to give in fully to whatever was going to happen next.

You opened yourself up entirely to him, giving full reign to do with you as he pleased.

His hands moved quickly after that, taking advantage of how eager you were to please by pushing your pants down further and fumbling with the buttons. After several seconds of struggling, he managed to open them enough to pull down your panties without removing them altogether. They ended up falling to either side of your ankles, allowing him easy access to your pussy.

The second his tongue made contact with your folds, you came almost instantly. A long moan escaped your mouth as pleasure coursed through every single part of your body; causing your hips to buck wildly beneath him. He responded immediately, lapping up everything he could find inside your cunt, making sure there wasn't a drop of cum or liquid left anywhere.

When he finally lifted his face up from between your legs, you couldn't help but stare at him lustfully, waiting eagerly for more.

"Mm..." Changbin hummed happily, clearly impressed by his own work. "That's quite some lubrication I've got here."

"Don't blame me for finishing too soon," You mumbled, still panting heavily. "You're the one who's worked me up so badly."

"And look how well it paid off!" Changbin chuckled, reaching forward to grab your ass cheek and pulling you close. "Now come on, show me what else you can do."

Before you knew it, he had flipped you over onto your back and was hovering above you, smirking smugly as he watched you wiggle your butt around. Even though his cock felt huge compared to the rest of him, it fit perfectly within your slick entrance; stretching you wide and filling every last bit of space.

"Oh fuck..." You breathed out, staring up at him as his dick slowly sank deeper into your wet hole. "So good..."

A low groan slipped past his lips as he pressed himself all the way inside of you. There was absolutely zero resistance whatsoever, which allowed him to slide in easily despite its girthiness. As expected, it caused your inner walls to squeeze tightly around him, drawing out a soft gasp from his throat.

You looked down between your thighs, watching Changbin's shaft disappear into your depths. Every time his thick length hit bottom, a new wave of pleasure rushed through your core, forcing you to bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. The sight of his cock disappearing deep into you was incredibly sexy, especially considering how large his dick was.

It took less than thirty seconds for him to start fucking you. Slowly at first, he withdrew halfway only to push back in harder. Soon enough, he was pounding you relentlessly, slamming his hips into yours forcefully while squeezing your tits roughly. You moaned loudly from the roughness of his touch, gasping whenever he grabbed your breasts too harshly. But the pain only added to the thrill, helping you to forget just how big he actually was.

The bed shook violently beneath you, knocking the pillows off the headboard repeatedly as he fucked you faster and faster. His balls slapped against your lower back with each thrust, smacking your skin so hard that you thought it might leave bruises. Not that it mattered much since you'd already been marked by him many times before.

But even though his size was intimidating, Changbin kept up an incredible pace. He pounded your insides mercilessly until you cried out from the overwhelming amount of sensation flooding your body. Sweat dripped freely down his forehead, mingling with your own glistening sheen. Yet he didn't slow down for anything, not even when you begged him to stop.

Instead, he merely slowed slightly, slowing down just enough to make sure you wouldn't pass out.

"Ahh...Changbin..." You whimpered breathlessly, clutching onto the sheets beside you as he began moving again. "I'm gonna... can't take anymore—"

A sudden sharp jolt shot straight through your pelvis, followed by another and yet another. Your entire body tensed up from the intense bursts of pleasure shooting through you, sending ripples throughout your stomach and making you writhe uncontrollably. Squirts of warm fluid coated your thighs as you squealed like a little girl, moaning louder and higher pitched than ever before.

Changbin didn't stop there however, continuing to slam his throbbing cock deep inside of you. Each powerful thrust sent shockwaves radiating outward from your center, making it impossible to keep quiet no matter how loud you tried. The strings of the mattress snapped under the force of his thrusts, leaving them hanging limply from their posts.

Soon enough, the two of you collapsed atop the bed together, both completely spent. You lay there, unable to move as sweat poured down your naked chest and pooled between your thighs.

"Hahaha...oh my god..." You laughed weakly, trying to catch your breath. "How are we going to clean this mess?"

"We'll worry about that later," Changbin murmured sleepily, resting his hand on top of your thigh. "But... I wasn't expecting you to squirt like that."

"H-Huh?" You gasped, looking down between your legs.

Sure enough, a small puddle of cum rested right below where his dick disappeared inside of you. It was mostly clear, but a few stray strands of white mixed in. And judging by the fact that most of it was dripping down onto the blankets underneath you, it seemed like you were leaking more than usual.

"Wow..." You smiled shyly, tilting your head upwards to meet his gaze. "Didn't know you could get me off so fast."

"Well, if you want more..." Changbin trailed off suggestively, leaning down and kissing your shoulder gently. "Just say the word."

Hwang Hyunjin / You couldn't stop yourself from gagging around Hyunjin's thick fingers, as they roughly caressed the inside of your throat. He giggled at how pathetic a sight it was, and began to squeeze harder on each pass until you were practically choking in his hand. You had no choice but to swallow hard or risk losing consciousness completely. It felt like he'd be able to do that with ease if he wanted too... which only made him laugh more.

"Such a good little slut," Hyunjin praised, swirling the tip of his digits around your tongue before pushing them back down into your mouth again. "Suck them, now."

The roughness of his hands against your skin sent shivers up and down your spine; not because of fear, but excitement for what would come next. You sucked hungrily on one finger after another, eager to please him.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you took every inch of his long, slender digit deep within your wet mouth – moaning softly when it hit the very back of your throat. His other hand went between your legs once more, gently stroking your pussy through the fabric of your skirt while making sure you didn't miss out on any action either.

The way he kept teasing your clit without ever touching it directly made all sorts of delicious tingles shoot straight up your body.

Hyunjin leaned closer over you then, so close that his breath tickling your earlobe made you squirm in anticipation. "Mmhmm..." He murmured, licking along its rim slowly. "... I think you're ready for my cock, aren't you?"

His words set off an intense rush of lust within you, sending a jolt of pleasure shooting right to your core. A whimper escaped your lips as you nodded vigorously, unable to speak past the tight grip his fingers held onto your throat.

He chuckled lightly at this response, running his free hand up your neck and tilting your head towards him. Without hesitation, he pressed his open mouth against yours – kissing you passionately as he slipped two fingers inside of your dripping pussy. You moaned deeply into his mouth as he continued thrusting both of his slick digits deeper and deeper inside of you, filling you up until there wasn't much room left.

All thoughts about keeping quiet disappeared under the sheer ecstasy caused by his ministrations, leaving you panting heavily beneath him.

"That's it, slut... take those fingers like a good girl." Hyunjin cooed, nibbling playfully on your lower lip. "I bet you want me to fuck you really bad, don't you? To fill your pretty little pussy full of my hot cum, hmm~?"

"I-I— Mmph!" You mewled against his mouth, struggling to form coherent words due to how turned on you were becoming.

Hyunjin smiled darkly down at you, still fingering your soaking pussy. The heat emanating from his touch made you shudder uncontrollably, desperate for something else to happen soon.

There was nothing better than being taken advantage of, especially when the person doing it knew exactly what they were doing. The idea that he could make you feel this good just by playing with your cunt made you quiver, knowing he must have some sort of special technique to go along with his impressive size. That thought alone almost pushed you over the edge already, but you managed to hold back somehow. For now, anyways...

With a light groan of satisfaction, Hyunjin pulled away from your kiss and moved his face back to yours – smirking lewdly at your flushed expression. "So cute... I love watching you get fucked, little thing."

"Hngh..." You panted, trying your hardest not to moan.

A playful smirk curled across his lips. "Do you want me to finish you off first? Or should we move things along?"

Your breathing quickened as he slid his fingers out of your soaked pussy, making you whine in protest. Your thighs clenched tightly together, squeezing his digits in a futile attempt to keep them trapped within your folds. Even though you weren't getting anything more, it hurt having them removed – reminding you of the fact that you'd been denied for far too long.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him forward, forcing him to lay flat atop you.

"Oh~?" Hyunjin breathed, staring down at you with wide eyes. "Did you finally decide to let me fuck you properly?"

"Yes, please," You whispered fervently, meeting his gaze with hungry eyes.It only took a few seconds for him to position himself above you – letting you stare down at his huge shaft tentatively.

It looked even bigger up close, causing you to bite your bottom lip nervously. Before you had time to second guess yourself, he gripped his thick length firmly between his thumb and forefinger, giving it a gentle tug. As expected, his dick sprang upright, throbbing eagerly against his stomach.

With a soft grunt, Hyunjin positioned himself further down your torso, resting his weight upon your chest. He stared down at you expectantly, waiting for your permission to enter you fully.

"Do it," You replied simply, gripping his sides tighter.

"Hehe~! Well, if you insist..." Hyunjin said with a chuckle before pushing forwards, sinking half of his cock inside your warm hole. The feeling of him stretching your insides made you gasp, clenching around his girth instinctively.

His tip rubbed directly against your deepest parts, eliciting another low cry from your lips. The sudden sensation made you writhe beneath him, moaning softly as you felt him start sliding deeper. Each inch filled you up a bit more, until his entire length sunk deep inside of you. It stretched you out painfully, burning as he sank deeper and deeper inside of you.

After several minutes spent taking his massive member all the way in, Hyunjin paused – allowing you to adjust to his size.

You moaned in contentment once you got used to his thickness, pressing your cheek against his muscular shoulder as he began slowly pumping his hips. His slow pace was enough to drive you crazy, the friction of his pelvis rubbing against yours driving you wild. Every time he thrust upwards into your depths, you squeezed tight around him, relishing every single moment of pleasure radiating through your body.

"Mm..." Hyunjin hummed appreciatively, leaning down to nuzzle your ear affectionately, while continuing his rhythmic fucking. "It's pretty warm in here, isn't it?"

"Yeah," You gasped, tilting your head to meet his mouth hungrily. "I like it."

His lips met yours in an eager embrace, both your tongues tangling together in heated passion. A shiver ran down your spine, sending goosebumps rushing over your skin. When you broke apart from each other, your breath came out raggedly, leaving you panting heavily.

"Good. Because I'm going to be here for awhile." Hyunjin chuckled throatily. "Don't worry; I'll take my sweet time filling you up~"

You gulp audibly, biting your lip hard as you watch him continue to slide his cock in and out of your dripping sex. You couldn't help but whimper when he hit your deepest parts, making your inner walls clench tightly around his invading shaft. The pressure only made him push harder, pounding his length into you relentlessly.

Every inch of his thick meat forced its way inside of you, spreading you open so much that it almost hurt. Despite how good it felt, it still left you gasping for air. You could feel your slickness coating his shaft as he plunged repeatedly inside of you, filling you up completely. Each plunge made you squeeze tighter around him, unable to stop yourself from crying out loudly.

"Hyunjin!" You cried out, struggling beneath him. "Please, make me cum already..."

"What do you think this is, huh?" Hyunjin asked teasingly, grabbing your ass roughly by the cheeks. "This is where I get to have my fun. So, don't go thinking that just because you're begging, I'm gonna give you what you want... or else you might find yourself regretful later on~"

"Ahh-!" You groaned, digging your nails into his back.

He smirked down at you, chuckling darkly as he continued to pound away. "No matter what you say or beg for...this is mine now."

As soon as he finished speaking, he pulled free from you, pulling your legs towards him. Without warning, Hyunjin pushed forwards again, burying his entire length inside of you without missing a beat. Your inner muscles clenched tightly around him, milking his thick length as he pounded into you.

His hands grabbed onto your thighs, holding them tightly as his cock pistoned inside of you. Your pussy burned fiercely, leaking juices freely down your thigh as his large cock slid in and out of you. The heat intensified whenever he hit your deepest parts, forcing you to cling to him desperately. He kept up his relentless rhythm, plunging into you over and over again, not stopping no matter how much you begged him.

Something new started to build up within you, growing stronger and hotter with every passing minute. Just as you thought you were about ready to explode, Hyunjin slammed his hips forward one final time. His balls slapped against your clit, sending jolts of electricity shooting straight to your core.

Warm juices squirt between your folds as you climaxed on his cock, spasming wildly underneath him.

"Fuck, yes! Hyunjin, oh fuck! You feel so fucking good!" You cried out as the orgasm rolled through you, filling your entire body with light. "Oh, fuck!"

"That's right, scream for me," Hyunjin growled hotly, slamming himself into you over and over again. The combination of his rough movements and your sensitive clit sent you spiralling into yet another mind-melting climax.

Hot waves of pleasure washed through you, tightening your inner muscles around his shaft. With a loud cry, you shattered under him, coming undone entirely. Your eyes closed, your jaw slackened and your voice went hoarse, letting out high pitched whimpers of blissful ecstasy.

Han Jisung / Jisung thrusted into your mouth with such force that you felt the tip of his dick hit the back wall. You were so turned on, and it was only getting worse as he pushed deeper inside until finally all six inches had disappeared down your throat. He held onto both sides of your head tightly while thrusting in and out rapidly like a jackhammer, making sure to keep most of him deep within your mouth.

The vibrations from his hips against yours sent shivers up and down your spine, but even more than that, Jisung's moans made every nerve ending in your body come alive at once. It took everything for you not to cum right there; however, Jisung still wasn't done yet. He pulled almost half way out before pushing himself back in again and repeating this process over and over without any mercy or pause. His cock swelled bigger by the second as precum oozed from its tip each time it slid past your lips.

Saliva dripped down his shaft too, which further added to the sensation of having something thick and hard sliding between them. Your tongue flicked along the underside of Jisung's dick, trying to get rid of some excess saliva coating his length, and then lapped around his balls when they rolled slightly forward into view

You could feel yourself growing dizzy due to lack of oxygen, but you didn't want to stop sucking just yet. The erotic sight of Jisung fucking your face drove you wilder than anything else ever did. He looked like a beast, holding you down against the bed while using you as his personal fuck toy. This was exactly what you wanted—to be used and degraded in front of someone who wouldn't judge you. Someone you knew would never leave you behind...

"Mmm, I love the way you suck on my cock, my sexy little slut," Jisung growled lowly, causing your eyes to widen. "I bet you could do this all day."

His words caused an electric jolt through your entire being, sending tingles shooting throughout your nerves. You'd been craving this kind of attention since forever ago, and now that it was here, you couldn't help but let loose.

Your hands grabbed hold of Jisung's thighs as best you could, squeezing tight enough to cause bruises if necessary. Your cheeks hollowed out as much as possible, allowing his girth to slide effortlessly down your throat, and then you began bobbing your head faster. If anyone saw you right now, they might have thought you were a professional porn star giving one hell of a blow job. But no, this was all real life. All these sensations were happening to you. And you loved it.

Tears stung your eyes from how good it felt, especially knowing that Jisung was enjoying every single moment of it. Even though his cock grew harder and thicker with each passing minute, you continued to work your magic. Every inch of him was coated in a layer of spit and drool, which also helped lubricate things nicely.

As soon as he reached his limit, he pulled away abruptly from your lips. Instantly, you cough and choke on whatever air you managed to catch in your lungs, which resulted in another loud moan escaping your parted lips.

Jisung smirked smugly down at you, wiping a hand across you chin to clean off some of the mess. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

You nodded quickly, swallowing down the last bits of his precum still stuck to your mouth. "Y-Yeah, mmfh, mnph... I mean, no! I'm fine, really!"

The look of concern on his face instantly melted away when he realized you weren't injured. Instead, his smirk returned in full force, followed shortly after by his hungry gaze.

"You're pretty tough," Jisung said, running his fingers through your hair affectionately. "It's nice to know you can take me rough sometimes."

A blush spread across your cheeks as you stared back up at him, unable to say anything. The compliment made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, but at the same time, it only fueled your desire. You craved more abuse. More pleasure. A lot more.

Jisung leaned closer to whisper directly into your ear. "Think you can keep going, baby? Or are you ready to give up already?"

With that question hanging in the air, you struggled to form coherent thoughts. You didn't want to disappoint him, but you also needed to breathe. When you opened your eyes, Jisung was staring down at you intently, waiting patiently for your answer. You glanced over to see his dick still twitching, ready for more pleasure. That alone gave you the motivation you needed to continue. Slowly, you pushed yourself upward until your chest rested on top of Jisung's thigh. With shaky breaths, you sucked in a few deep gulps of fresh air before looking back at him.

"Uhm..." You whispered breathlessly. "N-No, I don't think I'll give up just yet."

Jisung smiled proudly at your response, which caused a rush of warmth to flood your body. It was so easy to fall under his spell. To surrender everything to him. As long as he was there to protect you, nothing else mattered.

He moved his hips upwards again, letting the tip of his penis rub against the roof of your mouth once more. His eyes narrowed as he watched you carefully, waiting to make sure you were alright. After taking several slow breaths, you finally relaxed and resumed your blowjob.

This time, you focused solely on the task at hand; getting his dick as wet and slippery as possible. Then, without any hesitation or shame, you slid your lips up and down the length of him. Just thinking about how hard it had been to get him to come made your heart ache, and you immediately regretted not doing it sooner. Now that you knew what to expect, however, you were determined to bring him as close to orgasm as humanly possible.

Jisung moaned deeply as you did exactly that, sucking on the underside of his shaft while stroking him with both hands. He gripped onto your shoulders tightly as you went deeper than ever before, eliciting a soft grunt from his throat. Your saliva combined with the precum created a thin film coating his cock, making it easier to glide along its surface.

After a few minutes passed like that, Jisung lifted himself off of your head, causing you to gasp loudly. "Hm? What's wrong, Jisung?"

His breathing was ragged as he spoke, forcing you to lean forward slightly to hear him properly. "Bend over..."

Without hesitating, you complied. You bent down further, resting your elbows on either side of the bed, leaving your ass sticking straight up in the air. Jisung wasted no time climbing between your legs and positioning himself behind you. One of his hands grabbed hold of your waist, holding you steady while the other one traced circles around your clit.

Your stomach clenched tight at the sensation, sending waves of heat rushing through your lower half. You bit down on your lip nervously, hoping he wouldn't notice the slight quiver in your voice. Thankfully, he seemed too preoccupied with pleasuring you instead.

Jisung ran his thumb gently across your swollen bud, rubbing it firmly enough to elicit a small whimper from you. Once he felt comfortable, he began sliding his digit in and out of you, slowly increasing the tempo. Soon, your pussy started dripping wetter and wetter, soaking his fingers completely.

Before long, Jisung added two digits to his foreplay, stretching you open wide while simultaneously stimulating every inch of your sensitive flesh. The pressure built steadily, turning your insides into molten lava and your brain into mush. You couldn't help but moan loudly, squirming underneath his touch even though you tried your best to remain calm and collected.

Jisung chuckled softly as he continued playing with your pussy, occasionally tracing a finger near your ass to tease you. Each time he did, you tensed up, unsure if this would be another instance where he'd use his tongue on you. However, each time he pulled away quickly, giving you false hope that maybe, just maybe...

"Oh God!" You cried out sharply as an intense wave of pleasure hit you all at once, causing your knees to buckle.

The sudden gush of clear fluid splattered against Jisung's face, drenching his handsome features in a mixture of warm cum and sweat. It wasn't until after the second spurt that he realized what had happened, pulling back abruptly to wipe it off of his cheek. His eyes widened when he noticed the mess he'd made, glancing up at you sheepishly. You blushed brightly, averting your gaze for fear of seeing disappointment in those beautiful brown orbs.

"Oh wow..." He breathed out heavily, staring at you curiously. "That's something you don't see everyday."

You giggled weakly, nodding in agreement. "No kidding..."

Lee Felix / Your wrists were tied tightly together as you sat patiently in a nearby chair. Large amounts of embarrassment washed over you as Felix looked at the ropes around your wrists with an amused smile on his freckled face. You tried not to blush too hard in front of him, but it was difficult when he stood there naked from the waist up while looking down at you like that. He had just finished showering before coming back out here, so he wasn't wearing anything except for some dark blue boxer briefs which barely covered most of his figure.

The material clung tightly to them and showed off every muscle beneath. His cock poked through one leg hole and hung low between his legs; thick and long enough to make your mouth water even though you'd already tasted what lay underneath those boxers once before. It would be easy to look away if this were anyone else's dick, but seeing how excited Felix got whenever you touched yourself made it impossible not to stare at his bulge all day.

"Sorry. Did I make you wait long?" He asked casually after a moment spent admiring your bound form. "Not that I care much, since my hands are free~"

He walked towards you slowly, never breaking eye contact as he did so. Your heart raced and your breath came short each time he approached until finally he stopped right behind where you sat. With no hesitation whatsoever, he grabbed hold of the rope binding both your arms to the armrests and pulled sharply upwards, causing your torso to jerk backwards into his chest. He let go immediately and stepped back again, giving himself plenty of space to admire your flushed cheeks and pouting lips.

"But, you're happy see me, right?" He asked teasingly, making you shiver slightly despite the warmth of his skin against yours.

"Y-Yeah," You mumbled shyly, unable to meet his gaze.

Felix chuckled softly. "I knew it."

His hand moved forward again then, sliding under your chin and tilting your head upward to force you to look directly at him. That only served to further embarrass you because now he could get a good view down your shirt, revealing more than enough cleavage to drive any man crazy. Even Felix seemed taken aback by it, taking a few moments to study your breasts before returning his eyes to your own.

You gulped audibly.

"Is something wrong? Are these small?" He teased gently, cupping one breast in either palm and squeezing lightly. A shudder ran through you as he squeezed harder, feeling the softness of your flesh through the fabric. "Or is it their color that makes you flinch?"

It took everything you had to keep yourself from squirming, especially when he slid his hand under the edge of your bra cup and rubbed your nipple through the thin cotton. All thoughts of embarrassment fled as he pinched your sensitive bud, sending electric jolts through your entire body. You bit your lip to stifle a moan, trying desperately to ignore how turned on you felt. But it was proving very difficult, especially considering how close he kept getting to touching you...

"Hmhm..." Felix hummed thoughtfully, leaning closer still. "What are you thinking about, hmm?"

You couldn't help blushing hotly at the sound of his voice. And yet, somehow you managed to reply without stumbling over your words or stammering.

"...Well, um.." You cleared your throat nervously, staring intently at his face. "I'm imagining...how it feels to have you inside me."

The corners of Felix' lips quirked up. "...Oh really?"

You nodded quickly, biting your lower lip as his fingers continued to rub circles around your nipple through your shirt.

"Doesn't it feel nice?" He breathed seductively, trailing kisses along your jawline. "I sure hope so..."

You moaned loudly when his tongue slipped past your parted lips and traced its way across your cheekbone. He licked his way down your neck, leaving wet trails as he went, stopping briefly to suckle your exposed collar bone. Aroused murmurs filled the room as Felix worked his way downwards, kissing and licking everywhere he could reach. When he reached your tits, he pushed aside your bra cups and sucked greedily at your nipples, eliciting another loud moan from you.

"Mmph!"

Felix laughed quietly at your reaction, pulling away to watch your chest rise and fall with ragged breaths. Your hands were still bound together, keeping you stuck in place, but that didn't stop you from reaching out to touch him. You curled your fingers into his hair, tugging lightly and moaning as he kissed his way down your stomach. The heat of his mouth was incredible, driving you wild with need for more.

When his tongue finally found itself nestled between your thighs, you whimpered and pressed your hips forwards, desperate to feel more. Unfortunately, your hands remained tied securely above your head, leaving you completely helpless as he lapped at your slit like some kind of ravenous animal.

You cried out wordlessly as his warm tongue swirled around your entrance, dipping deep and pushing just far enough inside to tease the nerves within. His hot breath tickled your inner thigh, sending a rush of tingly sensation down below, prompting you to push your legs wider apart to give him better access.

"Nnggghhh..." You grunted weakly, struggling to keep your focus on anything other than the pleasure radiating outward from your core. "Felix... untie me, please..."

He smirked up at you, watching your face closely while his tongue continued to work magic upon your most intimate parts.

"No can do, babe." He said simply, moving his attention to your clit instead.

You gasped loudly as he circled your swollen nub with his tongue, tracing little patterns all over it. It wasn't long before you began bucking wildly beneath him, crying out incoherently as he pleasured you. Each time you did, he would take advantage of the opportunity to lick you deeper, rubbing his tongue hard against your slick folds until you came undone once again. This happened several times throughout the course of what felt like an eternity, each orgasm stronger than the last. By the end, you were practically begging him to let you cum, no matter how much it hurt.

But, Felix merely smiled up at you, continuing to lap hungrily at your pussy. He slowed his pace significantly though, letting you catch your breath after every climax before starting anew. You tried to fight back the growing desperation building inside you, wanting nothing more than to see him release too. But, it was impossible to resist the temptation of his skilled tongue.

As soon as you started to relax, he'd start to move faster, swirling his tongue around your engorged clit until you were gasping and panting, writhing uncontrollably underneath him. Even then, he wouldn't relent, pressing himself against your quivering thighs and using them to pull you even tighter against him. With each thrust of his tongue, he made it easier for you to grind your soaked mound against his face.

Finally, you gave in to your urges, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly and grinding your hips into his face. As soon as you did, Felix groaned deeply, pushing one final inch further into your needy cunt. You screamed loudly, releasing yourself fully around his eager tongue, shuddering violently as you came all over his face. Squirting your juices onto his chin, he pulled back abruptly, swallowing the sticky fluid off his mouth and smiling wickedly at you.

You panted heavily, trying desperately not to pass out from the intense wave of bliss coursing through your body.

Kim Seungmin / Seungmin chuckled softly, watching you squirm underneath him like a pathetic worm on it's back. He had your legs spread wide and gripping the sheets tightly in both hands, as he slowly fucked into you from behind, his cock sliding deep inside of every time it pushed through that tight opening.

His balls slapped against your ass each time they swung low enough to do so, making you moan with pleasure, even though you knew better than anyone how good this was going to feel when he finally let loose inside of you. Seungmin could barely contain himself anymore either; his thrusts becoming harder and faster until all at once he pulled out completely before slamming back inside again.

Your head fell forward onto the pillow as he continued to fuck into you over and over, his hips slapping against yours with each hard thrust while those thick fingers dug deeply into your flesh beneath. The bed shook under both your combined weight, causing the wooden frame to creak loudly but not loud enough for either one of you to care about right now. It wasn't long after that he grabbed hold of your waist tighter still, pulling down harshly on it whenever he felt like pushing deeper inside of you or giving you more leverage if needed.

"I have to say... I'm impressed." You mumbled quietly between moans. "You being so rough seems very rare these days..."

"You think so? That makes two of us," Seungmin replied breathlessly, pausing only briefly to look up at you. His eyes were bright red with lust, sweat glistening along his brow. Your own body was covered in a light sheen too, despite the fact that you weren't doing much moving around besides moaning and panting heavily.

Seungmin smirked slightly, shaking his head lightly as he resumed fucking you. He didn't bother saying anything else, just grunted softly and kept pumping away relentlessly. Even though you couldn't see what was happening behind you, you heard the sounds of skin smacking together and gasping breaths coming from below you, which told you exactly where he was at the moment.

Your body tensed up slightly each time he slammed home, feeling another orgasm building quickly within you. Seungmin's grip tightened further upon your waist, before loosening up entirely, allowing you to fall forwards onto the mattress without any support whatsoever. You groaned lowly, unable to keep yourself upright due to the intense sensations running through you.

He didn't seem to mind much however, continuing to pound into you forcefully as he did so. Every inch of skin rubbed together sent sparks shooting through your entire being, making you whimper helplessly as your climax began to build ever higher. Just as it seemed you would pass the point where you couldn't handle anymore, he reached up and grabbed your hair roughly by the roots, yanking upwards sharply.

The pain only served to heighten the intensity of what was happening to you, sending jolts of electricity racing throughout your nerves as his dick throbbed deep inside of you repeatedly. All at once he stopped moving altogether, burying himself fully within you as he held you firmly there with just his pelvis pressed against your own. A strangled cry escaped your lips as you came undone, your muscles tightening and clenching around him uncontrollably.

"Oh... oh god..." you moaned weakly, gasping heavily as you tried desperately to catch your breath. "Ahh!"

Seungmin grunted out a few short curses as he began to empty himself inside of you, pumping hot cum, along with several other smaller spurts. Your pussy spasmed violently around his shaft as he kept moving, milking everything he could from you until there was absolutely nothing left. When he finally withdrew, you collapsed onto the bed next to him panting heavily, letting go of the sheet to clutch handfuls of fabric instead.

It took a moment longer before you realized his stamina hadn't waned in any way and that Seungmin had just been holding back for your sake. You lifted your head off the pillow to find him looking down at you curiously. One hand slid gracefully across your back gently, tracing the curves of your spine as he watched you closely.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah," You breathed out shakily, reaching up to wipe some sweat from your brow. "I'm fine."

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth briefly before he leaned down and kissed you softly, kissing each cheek and jawline carefully. The sweet sensation made your heart flutter, making it difficult to breathe properly for a brief second. After breaking apart he sat up straight and looked down at you, tilting your chin upwards so he could kiss you again.

This time he lingered, pressing his lips against yours tenderly. Each soft stroke of his tongue brought new feelings bubbling up within you, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded. Even though you should have been tired and sore, you found yourself craving more of his touch. Before you knew it you were sitting up on your knees and wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as best as you could given the circumstances.

After a minute or two he broke off again, resting his forehead against yours as he stared intently into your eyes. He sighed contentedly and nuzzled closer to you, laying his hands on top of your thighs and holding you close to him. For a moment neither one of you said anything, simply enjoying the closeness of the other person. Eventually he shifted slightly, shifting his weight so that he lay on his side facing you rather than face down.

"Ready for round two?" He murmured huskily, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip.

You giggled lightly, leaning in and kissing him back. "Always."

Seungmin chuckled softly as well, bringing his arm up and looping an ankle behind your knee. With little effort he flipped you onto your front, pinning your wrists above your head with his free hand and positioning himself atop you. You let out a quiet moan when he entered you once more, this time with far less hesitation. As always it felt incredible, filling every part of you and stretching you wide open.

His pace slowed down somewhat compared to last time, taking things slower as he savored the feel of being inside of you. It wasn't long after that before you started pushing against his hips, trying to encourage him to move faster. Seungmin obliged immediately, picking up speed gradually as you began to lose control over your breathing.

With a shuddering gasp you arched your spine upward, crying out loudly as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. The pleasure was almost too much to bear, causing you to arch your back even further and press your heels into his lower abdomen. His thrusts grew deeper, hitting all the right places at exactly the perfect angle, driving you wild with desire.

Just as your climax peaked another one struck you unexpectedly, you couldn't stop yourself from squirting liquid onto his lap. You cried out in surprise but continued bucking beneath him regardless, desperate for any kind of relief. Seungmin growled deeply, slamming home hard enough to make you bite your lip in response. Every inch of him stretched you tight and left you feeling utterly empty afterwards, which was quickly remedied by the warmth pooling between your legs.

"Woah..." You panted out raggedly, rolling your hips slowly underneath him as if testing how loose you still were.

"Right?" He agreed, stroking his fingers through your hair soothingly. "That's why I love doing this."

You hummed in agreement, staring up at the ceiling and closing your eyes tightly. The heat radiating off of his body combined with the way his chest moved against your breasts sent pleasant tingles throughout your entire frame. It didn't take long for you to start getting sleepy, unable to keep your eyes open no matter how badly you wanted to stay awake.

Yang Jeongin / Jeongin held you steadily above his face, lapping up your nethers with a wet tongue. He was so gentle, but the pleasure he gave you felt like heaven; it made every part of your body tingle and sing as if all its nerves were on fire. You arched over him, writhing in ecstasy at how good this felt – especially when Jeongin's fingers found their way onto your thighs and began to caress them softly.

They rubbed against that spot just below where they joined together, sending waves of heat through your lower tummy and making your hips jerk forward eagerly towards each stroke. His thumb traced circles around the soft skin between your legs until you could feel yourself getting ready for something else entirely, then suddenly his mouth left your folds altogether before returning there moments later.

The tip of his tongue swirled gently across your clit while two more digits pressed into your inner walls, teasingly stroking inside of you without entering fully. It sent shivers down your spine as you gasped out loud, feeling like an animal caught by a predator who wanted nothing more than to be devoured whole.

Your hands gripped handfuls of bedsheets tightly beneath you as another wave washed over you, only now it wasn't quite so much about what you'd been doing. Instead, it was purely about being taken right here and now. The sudden shift from lustful playfulness to raw carnality had you arching off the sheets even harder, moaning loudly into the pillows behind you. You writhed underneath Jeongin's skilled lips and fingers, wanting to feel everything he did to you – every single thing that made you want to come undone completely.

As he worked magic upon your pussy, your back arched higher and higher until finally, with a cry of pure bliss, you came hard against his face.

You bucked wildly atop him, unable to stop shaking or shuddering as the orgasm hit you full force. Every muscle in your entire body tensed up and trembled as Jeongin kept licking away, milking out every last drop of cum within you. When the aftershocks subsided, you collapsed backwards onto the bed beside him, panting heavily.

However, Jeongin hadn't stopped pleasuring you yet.

With one hand still gripping your thigh firmly, he reached upwards to take hold of your other leg instead. Then, using both hands, he spread open your labia wide apart once again before slipping his tongue deep inside you. You whimpered in delight at how good it felt, especially since it also meant you didn't have to move any further to enjoy himself too. All you needed to do was lie back and let him work wonders on your insides.

His talented tongue played along your g-spot slowly at first, tracing little circles around it before dipping deeper into your core. It felt wonderful having him touch you there intimately, especially since the rest of your body was already thoroughly satisfied. But as he continued moving his head rapidly against your sensitive flesh, you soon found yourself coming close to climax all over again.

"Mn..." You mewl out, holding onto his shoulders as you grind your pelvis against his face. "I need...something..."

"I know, baby," He replied, his tongue still going wild against you. "I'm gonna give it to you."

Jeongin moaned deeply as you rode his face, pushing him closer towards the edge himself. Just as you started to get near, he pulled back slightly to lick the outermost parts of your vulva clean, leaving your most tender spots untouched. This drove you mad with desire though, because it meant he knew exactly what you liked best. So when he plunged his tongue right back into you, it went straight for those same places that made you go weak at the knees.

With his tongue buried deep within your depths, Jeongin used long strokes to massage your clit as well as your G-spot simultaneously. He alternated between these motions, alternating between fast and slow. In turn, it pushed you ever closer to the brink of oblivion. However, unlike earlier, he wouldn't allow you to simply fall over the side and tumble into release. No, he would keep you hanging on the precipice, teetering on the very edge of the cliff.

Just when you thought you couldn't possibly endure anymore, he withdrew his tongue and replaced it with two fingers. They slipped inside you easily, gliding smoothly past your spasming muscles. Once he got them nice and slick, he curled his fingers inward, pressing directly against your deepest reaches. A moment later, you felt his thumb press hard against your clitoris. And as he moved his digits in tandem with the thrusting motion of his tongue, you exploded for a third time.

"Does that feel good?" Jeongin asked breathlessly, pushing his fingers deeper into your wetness.

Your eyes rolled back in your head as you cried out, clutching desperately onto his shoulder blades. You weren't sure if you were speaking or screaming, but either way, it was enough to make him chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes," He chuckled, continuing to stroke and suckle upon your sweet spot. "And, I'm guessing you want to cum again? Is that right~?"

You nodded quickly, unable to form words just then. Not with his mouth and fingers working their magic on you. He gave you no chance to respond anyway, plunging three fingers deep into your quivering folds. The sensation sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making your toes curl and your stomach tighten up. You could barely breathe properly, so much was happening down below. Your whole lower half seemed to be filled by a powerful tingle that threatened to send you flying off the edge.

But somehow, despite being wracked with such intense sensations, you managed to stay grounded. Because Jeongin wasn't done with you quite yet. His fingers remained lodged inside you, pumping in and out of your hot core while his tongue licked its way across your swollen bud. At this point, you were beyond ready for another mind shattering climax. One more push from him, and you'd shatter completely.

"Jeongin..." You breathed out softly, moaning his name. "Please, just fuck me. I-I want you inside me..."

He looked up at you briefly, meeting your gaze before looking back downwards. He stared intently at where his fingers had been, watching as they disappeared into your clenching hole. Soon after, he brought them back to his lips, sucking on each digit like it was the tastiest thing in existence. You groaned loudly at that, feeling your legs tremble beneath you. As you watched, Jeongin's cock began to swell even larger than before. It grew longer until it hit your inner thighs, thickening and swelling even more. When it finally burst forth, you gasped aloud.

"Oh fuck!" You squealed out loud, staring wide eyed at the massive erection now standing proudly in front of you.

It was beautiful too, jutting out from his groin and pointing upwards. Its shaft was red, pink, and purple all at once, pulsating slightly. There was an impressive amount of pre-cum oozing out of its tip, which was only further proof how turned on Jeongin really was. The sight alone caused your own arousal to spike, sending wave after wave of heat surging through your body.

Even without touching yourself, you felt incredibly sensitive, almost painfully aroused. As you gazed down at Jeongin's magnificent length, he took hold of your hips firmly, pulling you close. With one hand gripping your hip tightly, he guided his cock towards your waiting entrance. You whimpered softly, shuddering as his cockhead pressed against your tight opening. But instead of entering you, Jeongin held himself there for several moments.

He didn't move any farther, merely teasing your insides with his girthy cock.

"How bad do you want me?" Jeongin whispered huskily, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to yours. "Do you need my dick inside of you? Do you crave it...?"

"I—" You began, but you were cut off when his lips pressed against yours, kissing you deeply. For a few seconds, he continued to kiss you, stealing your breath away with every touch of his soft lips. A moment later, however, he broke apart, leaving you gasping for air.

"Answer me." Jeongin said sternly, his voice low and raspy.

"Y-Yes," You breathed out, panting heavily. "Yes, I want you inside of me!"

His smile widened as he leaned closer still, his face mere inches from yours. Before you knew what was happening, Jeongin pulled you flush against his chest, holding you securely in place. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pinning you between his muscular arms. In response, you laid your hands over his broad shoulders, clinging tightly onto him. After all, you needed something to keep you steady. Something to stop you from falling to pieces. And right then, he was exactly that.

With little effort, Jeongin slid his rock hard member into your slick pussy, filling you entirely. You moaned loudly, buckling as he stretched your tender walls. He paused only long enough to give you time to adjust, before sliding his full length into you once again. Over and over, he pushed his throbbing cock inside of you until both your bodies were covered in sweat. By the end, you couldn't feel anything except Jeongin's hot flesh buried deep within you. Every inch of his length was stuffed inside your wet depths, stretching you wider than ever before.

Suddenly, he withdrew, causing you to cry out in protest. You reached for him desperately, trying to grab hold of his thick shaft. Only to find that he was already gone, having slipped free of your grip. You weren't sure why, but you felt something leak from you. The feeling made you gasp, unable to hide your surprise. However, you soon realized that you were leaking fluid everywhere. Your entire crotch area was soaked, glistening with your juices. Squirting fluids from your slit like some kind of fountain.

"You're dripping honey all over my bedsheets." Jeongin murmured, smiling at you sweetly. "Isn't that cute~?"

The sudden words caused you to freeze. "H-Honey?"

"Mhm. It's pretty amazing, isn't it? That my tongue and cock alone could make such a mess~" Jeongin chuckled quietly.

Your cheeks burned brightly as you glanced down, seeing your swollen sex leaking clear liquid onto the sheets below. Not only did it look obscene, but it also sent shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Jeongin must have noticed because he smirked darkly, reaching up and cupping your cheek.

"Don't feel embarrassed. I like watching you get messy." He purred, tilting your head back so he could gaze into your eyes. "Especially since this is just the beginning..."

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids reactions #stray kids #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #lee felix smut #seo changbin smut #yang jeongin smut #han jisung smut #hwang hyunjin smut #kim seungmin smut

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bearhugsandshrugs · 5 months

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It'd be so cool to be a warlock and have Raphael as your patron. Imagine you mess up something and Raphael is so pissed he just doms the hell out of you. Or just offers you to his fiend friends. He probably wouldn't do that though because you're his pet, and only his pet. But he can ask Haarlep to change into different forms (preferably with bigger and bigger dicks) and fuck you as he watches. Ah man...

Do you think he'd be into that? Because I certainly am. :D

Or he’d let Haarlep take your form, and then send him on an orgy with about every lowly hellbeast he can think of, all while he has you tied up to a chair, naked, gagged, completely at his mercy.

You can do nothing but sit there while Haarlep gets fucked by an orthon, stretching you wide, so wide, you feel surely you’re about to rip, but instead there’s pleasure, and longing, and you clench around nothing as the phantom sensations drag you over the edge.

Next your body is claimed by something you can’t even begin to describe, but you feel claws scratch over your body, and it hurts so good. Then, suddenly, as the weird creature’s movements pick up intensity, you feel its cock growing inside you. It’s knotting inside you, stuck, and you sit there, tied to a chair, sobbing with need as the creature’s knot barely moves, forced to endure it for hours.

Meanwhile Raphael is watching you intently, wetting his lips, and he wrinkles his forehead each time you whimper.

“So eager, pet”, he scolds you, and you know he disapproves and is aroused beyond what he would ever admit all at the same time.

The next time you fuck something up he collars and leashes you, making you crawl behind him on all fours. There are guests in the boudoir that you are forced to serve: Some of them revel in inflicting pain, others want to feel their cocks slide against another man’s dick in one of your holes, others want to bring you to the edge but never over it.

Raphael never touches you, unfazed and dismissively watching on. But once you are done, a mewling, sweaty mess full of cum, he sits down and pulls down his pants.

“Now to your punishment”, he chuckles, and he is already hard.

You know exactly what he wants. It’s the reason you fuck up so much, after all…

#bg3 raphael x reader #bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #bg3 smut #drabbles #my writing #oh yeah can you tell i’m into that shit?#i’d be the most useless warlock ever

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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Sometimes it feels like the main message that a lot of people miss in MDZS in their leaps to justify one character’s hatred for another or attempting to remove them from the world because they will never be at peace until that person is completely eradicated, is that it poses a question of “how much blood does it take to satisfy the anger? How much death is necessary to live? How much pain that you want to inflict is truly equal to what you have suffered? Where is the line between justice, vengeance and murder?”

MDZS does not have our modern sensibilities and laws for such a thing, and it’s on purpose. It’s set in a time where there is no emperor or god onscreen to merit out justice or retribution, it’s all in the hands of the mortals. They get to decide how much is enough.

And the thing that so many people miss is that for almost every character (and I will include Wei Wuxian in this with a caveat) go too far at some point. Sure, the desire to kill your brother’s killer is understandable. But what about the people who you harm in that path? Nie Huaisang does end up taking down Jin Guangyao, but the cost is that Qin Su also dies, destroyed even before her death by the reality of what the men around her will stoop to do out of pride and anger, what they will use her for in the process.

Why do I stand so firmly against the people who say that Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng had their reasons, that they were right to go as far as they did? Because the text itself does take the time to show us what is reasonable in that world and what is greedy, wrathful, unjustified.

Jiang Cheng has every right to hate the men who invaded his home and killed his family. In the natures of their society it is not wrong for him to step him and take revenge against them. The supervisory camps in Yunmeng were built on the blood of his people. I have no qualm with him removing them from his land, even though it ends in their deaths.

But that does not mean that his righteous war should extend to all who bear the Wen name and that is where the gap comes in. Wen Chao had him tortured and his golden core crushed. By the rules of that world as extolled by Xiao Xingchen when talking to Xue Yang, it is reasonable to take back what was done to him in blood there.

But Wen Ning is not Wen Chao. Wen Ning risked his life, his sister’s life and ultimately ended up contributing to Wen Ruohan’s campaign toppling and ending in dust because when he was offered the choice to either stick by his family or stick by his morals, he chose the former. The Wen’s attack on Lotus Pier was wrong. The lives they took were unjustified. Their actions were deplorable.

By standing up and protecting Jiang Cheng in the way he does, smuggling him back out of Lotus Pier and hiding him away from the Wen who would kill him, he is declaring that his own family is in the wrong, and instead makes a sacrifice that could have had him and his sister killed should Wen Ruohan ever find out about it.

Jiang Cheng knows this. This is where the right of hatred falls flat. This is where his righteous anger becomes a hunger for blood that will never be satiated.

Now I’m not saying that Jiang Cheng should hug and kiss Wen Ning for everything. There are limits to what humans can endure, even ones as good as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. But he refuses to ever acknowledge what he knows. He refuses to ever act in kind. He owes a debt and he knows it. And he instead not only refuses to pay it by not necessarily taking them into his lands, but even acknowledging that they did anything. He buries them with their family and his words. He lets his hatred overwhelm all else.

He was not powerless at the end of the war. Far from it, in fact! He had a sect that was still rebuilding its forces, but it had been three years since the start of the war so it can’t be tiny anymore, and he had Wei Wuxian with the Yin Hufu. The only two necromancers in the world, who are powerful enough to hold whole barriers on their own. This is the whole point of the display at Phoenix Mountain. Wei Wuxian is showing the other three great clans and all the smaller clans that it does not matter how many of them they have, Yunmeng Jiang has him and while they have him, they are untouchable. This is a known fact.

Jiang Cheng would have faced no long term retribution from doing anything. He could have simply let Wei Wuxian pull them out of the Jin indoctrination camp and take them through Yunmeng to somewhere else and after some grumbling and some pleading on Jin Guangshan’s part, nothing would have happened. Wei Wuxian is too strong and the other clans are too aware of that. No one was safer than Yunmeng Jiang at the end of the war.

That is why the Jin play off of his jealousy and anger and get him to throw aside Wei Wuxian. It is literally their only option.

This brings me to the other half of my discussion, which is where does the bloodshed end? What is enough spilled blood?

If Jiang Cheng hates Wei Wuxian enough to try to kill him, then this should be a vengeance that ends with Wei Wuxian’s death. Death ends all obligations. We owe no more money, we settle no more debts, we leave the shackles of the living in life and the dead move on as do the living.

So why then is it acceptable that Jiang Cheng spends the next thirteen years killing people that remind him of Wei Wuxian? That the moment that Wei Wuxian does return, his first action is to try and kill him again? That he tortures him multiple times and it is only Lan Wangji’s presence and Jin Ling’s quick thinking that save him on those occasions? By all rights including our modern ones, Wei Wuxian should be free and Jiang Cheng should have moved on in thirteen years. Thirteen years is long enough to raise a child almost to adulthood, but Jiang Cheng clings to a hatred that has had no outlet for that long and continues to try and demand Justice that he has already received.

Where is the line? When is enough? Why does the blood of innocents have to be paid too for the hunger of the mighty? Wen Ruohan subtly assassinated Nie Mingjue’s father, but Nie Mingjue decided that there was only to be death for anyone related to the Wen. They didn’t have to do anything, even if they tried to stop him it wouldn’t be enough. Only the death of every Wen would slake that hunger, and then in death when he is driven only by that hunger, only the death of every Jin. Including the ones who weren’t even old enough to hold a sword at the time he died. Jin Ling is as good as Jin Guangyao for Nie Mingjue to kill. All that matters is that he’s connected. All that matters is that there is another body to feed the never ending hate that fills him.

Xiao Xingchen says that for Xue Yang to take a finger or an arm from the man who harmed him as a child is reasonable. Even to kill him if that is truly the only way to end his hatred. But what is a finger to an entire family? “Because it is mine!” Declares Xue Yang and this is where the crux of it lies. “It is my hatred, it is my anger. It is my right to kill anyone because I am angry and I refuse to let it go.” This is the trait that Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang all share. “I am angry and I am hurt so it is my right to do as I will and no one should take that away from me or I will hurt them too.”

This is why they are antagonists. This is why two of the three of them end up dead. This is why Jiang Cheng staying his hand in the temple and Wei Wuxian’s mercy towards him is the only reason that he survives the end. You can’t ask the world to feed your endless hatred. Eventually you will hurt the wrong person and by the very laws that you and the world have set, will come for you. There is no such thing as bloodshed without pain. There are people who will miss those who are gone. And not all of them will be as good as Lan Wangji. Not all of them will move forward in their lives and ignore you. Sometimes the oriole will stalk you in the shadows, waiting for the moment the praying mantis slips up. The wheel ever turns and those on the bottom eventually rise up.

Now as for Wei Wuxian, we see a different answer on him from the others and this is where his morals really come into play. Cause at first he does exact justice for those lost at Lotus Pier. Steps in which the narrative does not fully condemn him, but suggests lightly that it is the sort of thing that he does not linger in, as well as he himself looks back and decides that maybe he did go too far then. Maybe he did do too much in the name of anger and justice. Three months after the event he is willing to kill and torture Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao. But three years later he looks at the members of the family that killed his and goes “I do not love you. But this is not right. You do not deserve this. I will not let you suffer this any longer even though your name is Wen.”

For Wei Wuxian, the line ends at the end of war, at the deaths of those who directly caused him the most pain. He does not necessarily forgive or absolve. But he does recognize that there is no sense in continuing the bloodshed or allowing others to continue it out of some misplaced sense of vengeance. He is offered a chance to stop the wheel and he tries. He tries so goddamn hard. He tries until it kills him and everyone else he protects because the anger of the rest is too wrapped up in their self righteousness to examine what is reasonable and what is the cost for what they do.

I do not exonerate the Lan here, but I do point out that they at least actually make an attempt to change things afterwards. We see it in the way that Lan Wangji continues to act in the world. We see it in the way that Lan Xichen stops and reconsiders what he knows of Wei Wuxian, and helps him when the wheel attempts to spin back to where it was before. Where the juniors go out hunting on their own to help people of all kinds. They find weird mysteries and they follow them, they are kind to all. It does not absolve what they have done in the past, it does not make them blameless.

But it is a start. And one that Jiang Cheng has not taken. If he had, we wouldn’t be having these debates and arguments about what is a reasonable enough amount of death and destruction that he can cause on account of his past.

This is where the line is.

Modaozushi asks the question of how much death is enough and concludes at the line “when you continue to court death to satisfy your anger, you will eventually find death standing at your door too.” It happens to Xue Yang, who after killing Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing and everyone in Yi City, finds A-Qing’s ghost leading those who can end his hurting of others for good. It happens to Jin Guangyao who assassinates and hurts so many people that Nie Huaisang finds allies in Mo Xuanyu, Sisi and Bicao, all of whom are willing to help him drag Jin Guangyao to the depths by the chains of his reputation.

Jiang Cheng is offered another chance. Leave Wei Wuxian alone and move forwards with his life. At the end of the book he accepts that chance. It is probably the last one he will get, but he accepts it. This is why he finishes out the book alive no matter how much blood he has on his hands. You can always change your actions until you are dead.

This is the question that Modaozushi posits and answers to all of us and to which I now offer to you when you consider the actions in story. What is enough? How much blood must be spilled before you are happy?

Why does it matter to you that those who are hurt are allowed to hurt without consequence? Where do you draw the line when all of those who caused you pain in the past are buried?

What is the price that you demand for your happiness? When is there enough blood on your hands to be happy?

When do you say “there has been enough death. I will stop this here and now because it is enough.”

Will you be the hero or the antagonist in someone else’s story?

#mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #canon jiang cheng #jin guangyao #xue yang #discussion of antagonists #the cycles of vengeance #long post

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elliespuns · 11 months

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So, apparently, there are many people who don't understand why Ellie went furiously after Abby, wanting revenge so badly, only to let Abby go at the end.

I think a lot of people don't realize that Ellie doing this was never really about revenge. It was about her nature and what kind of person she is underneath the thick layer of her tough attitude. It was always about her proving once again how good a person she really is.

As we know, Ellie and Joel weren't on good terms for a long time, and Ellie knew how much Joel hurt not being able to connect with her anymore. So when Abby took him away from her, she not only robbed Ellie of the person she loved but also robbed her of the opportunity to forgive him. Which gives us a much better understanding of Ellie's hatred towards Abby. Because just as the hope for a restored relationship with Joel came back into her life, Abby snuffed it out with one hit.

That kind of messes with you as a person, and that's why Ellie became so vengeful all of a sudden; because she thought this was the right way to 'make it up' to Joel somehow. She wasn't doing it for herself; she wasn't doing it because she would enjoy killing either. She was doing it because she felt she owed it to Joel.

If you remember, there were more than a few times when Ellie killed innocent people and immediately felt bad about it. She was in shock after beating Nora to death. She felt sick after realizing she had killed a pregnant Mel. And all of it was just so well portrayed that this only makes you realize how fragile Ellie actually is, regardless of all the hate that's been tying her up.

So, when Ellie arrives at the beach and finds both Abby and Lev tied to the wooden stakes, utterly exhausted and beaten up, she realizes that they have suffered immensely during the past few months. It becomes apparent that Abby has already endured way more suffering than Ellie could've ever hoped to inflict on her. And just as she frees Abby, you can see in Ellie's face that she's doubting her intentions of wanting to hurt Abby some more.

And then she follows Abby to the boats, and that's where we can see that Ellie has come to understand that killing a tormented person would be both needlessly cruel and pointless. So she's about to let Abby and Lev go, but after seeing a flashback of Joel's face covered in blood, the desire to avenge Joel strikes her once again and she tries to go for it, challenging Abby to fight her.

But even now at this very scene, you can see it's really not in Ellie's nature to want this. You have to understand that by this time, Ellie is already extremely conflicted about whether to kill Abby or not. And this decision does not come out of nowhere.

Because right before Ellie drowns Abby, she gets another flashback; this time it's Joel playing his guitar on his porch. This flashback is absolutely integral to understanding why Ellie decides not to drown Abby in the end.

The flashback is a representation of the last conversation between her and Joel. Joel admitted that he "would do it all over again." And so Ellie indicates that she would like to at least try to forgive him. If she can forgive Joel for what he did, then perhaps she can also forgive the woman who killed him... and she does. So in that sense, the flashback reminds her of the fact that she is capable of showing mercy. And by not killing Abby, she does not only forgive Abby - she also comes to terms with what happened between her and Joel, proving that she can indeed forgive other people who wronged her.

So Ellie redeems herself by letting Abby go. She knows she has killed so many innocents, and it has clearly taken its toll on her. Killing Abby would have shown that she not only lost friends and loved ones in her quest for revenge but also her humanity.

Ellie used revenge as a tool to distract herself from Joel's death to avoid having to deal with her loss in a mature way; because when the hatred is gone, everything that's left is grief and pain.

Deep down, Ellie knows that she hurt Joel more than anyone else by disconnecting from him, and she hates herself because of that.

So this ending actually redeems Joel. And despite this being the most heart-wrenching end of a story I've ever seen, it's absolutely understandable why Ellie did what she did.

I guess there has always been more humanity to her character than most people are able to see.

#the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie and joel #ellie and abby #abby anderson #the last of us game #tlou game #joel miller #the last of us part 2 #tlou part 2 #the last of us talk #elliespuns analyses

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sorcerersandskillusers · 1 year

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Can we please talk about what Beast Dazai did to Beast Atsushi?

When Beast Dazai told Atsushi not to go to the orphanage, I think some people interpreted that as Dazai trying to protect Atsushi from what he knew would happen to him there.

But what Dazai was really doing was just insuring that Atsushi's absolute loyalty to him (Like he did to Akutagawa in the main story). And making the very idea of disobeying scare Atsushi more then anything else in the world.

He needed Atsushi to have the same undying, unquestioning, absolute loyalty that Akutagawa had for him originally. And he didn't even need to do the abusing himself this time, he just took all the torment and suffering the orphanage director inflicted on Atsushi, and twisted it to work in his favour.

If he had really wanted to protect Atsushi, he would have simply killed the orphanage director before Atsushi ever got the idea too. He could even have told Atsushi it was an accident, and never have Atsushi feel like it happened because of him, but for his 'Plan' he needed a loyal Atsushi, one willing to kill and endure any pain for his orders.

Beast Dazai is one of the most tragic and heart breaking characters ive ever seen, but he is also one of the most terrifying and cruel. Just one of the many reasons I love his writing so much.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #beast dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai osamu #bsd beast #beast dazai is one of the most tragic characters ever written #bungou stray dogs beast #bsd atsushi #bungou stray dogs atsushi #beast atsushi

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thedemoninme141 · 7 months

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Love Me Leave Me: Alternate Ending Part 2.

Previous Part Here. Wednesday retreated to her own room, her heart heavy with guilt and regret. The night seemed darker, the shadows that usually brought her comfort now felt like a shroud of despair.

She sat on her bed, her mind racing with thoughts of you—of how she had hurt you and pushed you to the edge. The pain in your eyes haunted her, and she couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled in her chest.

She couldn't escape the memories of the past two months, the torment you had endured, and how she had contributed to your pain. As she replayed the hurtful actions and words, a heavy sense of self-loathing settled in her chest.

What have I done? Wednesday thought, her eyes brimming with tears that she refused to fall. She had allowed her own insecurities and resentment to turn her into someone she never wanted to be, someone who hurt the person she cared about the most.

Images of you, the real you, flashed before her eyes—the laughter that used to fill the air when you were together, your vibrant smiles, and the genuine warmth of your friendship. All of that had been tarnished by her cruelty, and the thought that she might have destroyed it all filled her with dread.

What if I've lost you forever? The fear gripped her heart, and the possibility that you might never be the same again, or worse, that you might continue to hurt yourself, filled her with a sense of desperation she had never known before.

Wednesday knew she couldn't undo the past, but she was determined to make amends. She couldn't let you face your pain alone, not when she was the one who had caused so much of it. She couldn't bear the thought of losing you, not after realizing how deeply she cared for you. What if the chasm between you and her had grown too wide to bridge?

Wednesday's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she stared at the wall before her, her hands trembling in her lap. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of remorse, and the lifeline she desperately needed was the forgiveness and understanding she wasn't sure she deserved.

The hours dragged on, and the darkness of the night seemed interminable to Wednesday. She lay in her bed, the room shrouded in shadows, her restless thoughts consuming her. Sleep was an elusive dream, far beyond her reach, as guilt and tension waged a relentless battle within her.

Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see were images of you, your tear-filled eyes, the pain etched on your face, and the multitude of scars she had inadvertently caused. Her own cruelty replayed in her mind like a haunting movie, and she couldn't escape the relentless grip of remorse.

How could I have done this to you? Wednesday's mind tormented her with that question. She knew she had to find a way to make amends, to help you heal, but the path forward seemed shrouded in uncertainty.

The weight of responsibility bore down on her shoulders, and the fear of failing you was palpable. She had promised to support you, to be there for you, but how could she do that when she felt utterly lost herself?

Her mind raced with possibilities. She considered talking to Enid, seeking her guidance and advice on how to help you, but even that felt inadequate in the face of the enormity of the pain she had caused.

Will my apologies ever be enough? Wednesday questioned her own sincerity. She had expressed her remorse to you, but she understood that words alone wouldn't mend the wounds she had inflicted.

She longed to reach out to you, to be there for you in the moments when you were most vulnerable, but the uncertainty of your response terrified her. Would you push her away, unable to forgive her for the torment she had put you through?

The minutes turned into hours, and the night seemed endless. Wednesday tossed and turned in her bed, the sheets twisted around her in a suffocating embrace. She had never felt so trapped, so tormented by her own actions.

What do I do now? The question reverberated in her mind, a relentless echo of her desperation. She wanted to make things right, to help you find your way back to happiness, but she felt utterly powerless in the face of the pain she had caused.

"Y/n," Wednesday's voice quivered as she knocked gently on your door, her heart heavy with anxiety.

"Please, I know you're in there." Her plea carried the weight of desperation as she slowly turned the doorknob, her apprehension growing with each passing second. A shiver ran down her spine as the door creaked open.

With trembling hands, Wednesday pushed open the door and stepped into your room. To her horror, it was empty. The room felt cold and desolate, void of the warmth and life that should have been there. Everything was eerily still, frozen in time. All that remained, was your large mirror on the wall. Wednesday approached it, her heart pounding, and the sight that greeted her in the reflection caught her breath in her throat. In the reflection, she saw your room exactly as it should be. Your posters adorned the walls, and your favorite books were neatly arranged on the shelves. It was as if the mirror had captured a perfect replica of your room while your real room remained hollow.

But what terrified Wednesday to her core was your reflection in that mirror world. You stood there, looking exactly like yourself, yet different. Your eyes were empty, devoid of the spark of life, and your face was etched with despair.

In your hand, you held a gleaming knife, the blade poised to cut. The sight of it sent a jolt of fear through Wednesday's heart

"No! No!" Wednesday screamed, her voice echoing through the room. She banged her fists against the glass, desperate to shatter the barrier that separated her from you.

As she watched in horror, you raised the knife to your arm. Wednesday's knuckles turned white from the intensity of her blows, but the mirror remained an impassable wall. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched helplessly. She could see the anguish in your eyes, the pain that had driven you to this point, and it tore at her heart. She had to reach you, had to stop you, but the mirror held her captive.

As the blood flowed through your wrists, Wednesday's knees gave up, she fell on the floor as she could hear her own voice whispering in the room, growing louder and louder, accusatory voices that blamed Wednesday for your suffering. She couldn't save you. She couldn't reach you. As Wednesday woke from the nightmare, her heart was still pounding, and her breaths came in ragged gasps. The room around her felt like a prison of darkness, and the weight of her guilt was crushing.

She couldn't shake the haunting image of your reflection in that mirror, the knife in your hand, and the torment in your eyes. It was a vivid reminder of the pain she had caused you, a pain she was determined to help you heal from, no matter the cost.

You walked with your head down, trying to avoid drawing attention, but it seemed like fate had other plans. Katherine and her siren friends, fueled by cruelty, surrounded you, blocking your path.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here," Katherine sneered, a malicious glint in her eye. "The little lesbian freak who thinks she's so brave."

You clenched your fists, your heart pounding in your chest as a familiar surge of fear and anger washed over you. The past two months had been a living nightmare, and you couldn't take much more of it.

"Why don't you just crawl back into your hole, Y/n?" one of Katherine's friends taunted.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you tried to push through the circle of bullies, but they only closed in tighter.

"Leave me alone," you whispered, your voice shaking.

But they didn't listen. They continued their taunts, their words cutting deep into your already wounded soul.

Just as you felt yourself on the brink of breaking, a sudden darkness fell over the scene. A chilling, eerie presence seemed to fill the hallway, causing the bullies to fall silent.

Wednesday Addams had arrived.

Her dark eyes, usually cold and detached, were now ablaze with a dangerous intensity. The air around her seemed to crackle with an ominous energy, and even the bullies couldn't help but take a step back.

"If you do not want to lose a limb, Katherine, I suggest you leave her alone from now on."

That seemed to scare them away, for now.

Wednesday turned to you, her expression softening as she reached out a hand to touch your arm gently. "Are you okay?"

You shrugged her touch off and turned away, tears now streaming down your cheeks.

"Does it even matter anymore?"

The pain in your voice cut through Wednesday like a knife. She had intervened to protect you, just like she used to, but the wounds ran deep, and she could see that you were still hurting.

"Y/n, please," Wednesday pleaded, her voice trembling. "I meant what I said. I want to make things right, to help you heal."

You sighed, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.

"I don't know if I can ever be the same again, Wednesday. I don't know if I can ever forgive you or myself."

Wednesday's heart ached at your words, and she took a step closer, her gaze filled with remorse.

"I understand, but I won't stop trying. I won't give up on you, I will earn back your trust, even if it takes a lifetime."

#wednesday x reader #wednesday addams x reader #angst #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday addams angst #wednesday #wednesday addams fanfic #wednesday addams x you #wednesday angst

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dustofthedailylife · 2 years

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Immortal Love

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Summary: Zhongli is troubled by some thoughts that are keeping him awake and you are there to pick him up again.

Pairing: Zhongli x (gn!) Reader

Tags: Angst to comfort, very domestic setting and fluff towards the end, Zhongli is having a bit of an existential crisis, Reader picks him up again and reassures him

A/N: The Zhongli brainworms are kicking in again recently so I had to drabble something for him because he is amazing. Shoutouts to @lychniis and @zhongrin for fuelling my Zhongli brainrot more again recently. Definitely check them out, too!! (I know you're not on my taglist so I hope you don't mind the tag x.x)

Zhongli shifted on the bed unable to find rest. No matter how hard he tried, sleep simply wouldn’t find him tonight because of the endless thoughts that were plaguing him. So he lay awake, turning to the side to watch the steady rise and fall of your chest, and listened to your calm breathing and occasional huffs as you slept peacefully. A fresh breeze wafted through the open window and past the curtains in your shared bedroom. He saw goosebumps rise on your arms before you curled into your blanket more with a satisfied hum in your sleep.

The moonlight from outside the window shone through a crack in the curtains. It landed on your form in a way that perfectly illuminated your features, wrapping you in an ethereal veil of liquid silver, contrasted by the molten amber-gold of his irises which continuously wandered over your sleeping form.

He softly placed his hand over yours, carefully tracing patterns over the back of your palm with his thumb and feeling your warmth under his touch, prompting you to smile in your sleep.

As he watched you lie there so peacefully, his heart suddenly grew heavy again, when the dim light revealed the fresh scar on your shoulder caused by a wound inflicted during one of your commissions for the Adventurer’s Guild not too long ago.

You had shrugged it off as nothing and had simply put a bandage over it with a nonchalant smile but Zhongli just couldn’t help but worry and be reminded how he could lose you in just the blink of an eye. He worried every time you got hurt, every time you fell ill and every time a wound healed again, letting him know again and again that your time was running out and he was yet another step closer to losing you. He often had to remind himself that you were still there, right now, by his side, so his worries and his heartache were unjustified, yet he knew, you were mortal and he was not.

He wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with you until bedrock turns to dust and until the sea dries out, but unlike his, your time in this world was finite and he was painfully aware that you didn’t have forever.

He had already lost so much in his life, one would assume he is used to it by now, but he was not, every time he had lost someone a big hole had been left in his heart, one that could never be filled again, for the person that filled it before was gone. And despite having to endure so much loss and grief before, never had he feared losing anything as much as he did losing you. Whenever it would happen, there was nothing that could ever prepare him to lose his anchor, his shield… the light of his life.

Day in and day out he was reminded of your fragility, of your mortality, of the things in this world that could potentially steal you away from him finitely, and there was nothing he could do about it. An illuminated being, a god like him, entirely powerless about the natural flow of life and it pained him more than anything he had ever experienced or was able to comprehend.

He suddenly felt hot tears spill and stream down his cheek, dampening the pillow he was resting his head on, as he lifted his hand to cup your cheek gently in your sleep. He could faintly feel your steady heartbeat under his palm and the warmth radiating off your body. You are still here.

You suddenly stirred in your sleep and drowsily opened your eyes, looking at him and smiling at him adoringly, nuzzling your cheek further into his hand.

"Hey. Are you still awake?", you croaked sleepily, equally reaching your hand out to cup his face, suddenly feeling the dampness of his tear-stained cheeks under your fingers.

"What's wrong?", you asked worriedly, gently brushing some of his brown locks out of his face with your finger.

"I don't want to lose you.", he said, his shaky voice barely even above a whisper.

"Hey, hey… what’s with this all of a sudden? I have no plans to leave, love.", you reassured, placing soft kisses on his nose and forehead and kissing his tears away, giving him a loving smile.

“One day you will be forced to.”, he wept softly. And at that moment you began to understand what it was, that was keeping him awake and it made your heart painfully clench in your chest, wanting nothing more than to kiss his sorrows away and tell him everything will be alright.

“Hey, listen! No matter what happens, I’ll always be here.”, you emphasized as you placed your palm over his chest where his heart was, feeling the steady beat of it under your palm. “Okay?”

"If this is a contract, you better not break it."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You cuddled closer to him, burying your head in his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, and engulfing yourself in his warm embrace before drifting off into sleep again. With the arm he placed over your waist he pulled you a little closer and placed a tender kiss on the crown of your head, closing his eyes as well.

It was no use to dwell on things of the future in the present because all it would do was ruin the precious time he had with you and he’d do everything in his capability to show you just how much he loved you in the time you had together and make the best of it.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always appreciated <3

Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

TAGLIST@irethepotato @euphierosyne @x-zho @stygianoir @polalcee

(send and ask to be added/removed)

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #zhongli x female reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin drabbles #genshin headcanons #genshin angst #genshin comfort #genshin fluff #genshin scenarios #🍁 dust writes

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avvail-whumps · 9 months

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‘guns for hire’ — twenty minutes #29

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content warnings: multiple whumpers, punishments, gags, past whipping wounds/scars, broken bones (fingers), graphic violence, mention of slurs, blood, strangulation, passing out, stockholm syndrome

Twenty minutes.

That’s how long he was going to have with each mercenary. Bran, Joey and Beard, whatever his real name was. They were allowed to do whatever they wanted, Roy had told him. He assumed those sordid rules of his would be in place, most likely of the “no killing” sort.

He was tucked in the corner of the room, trying to ignore the pulsing pain from his fingers. Now that he was by himself again, it wasn’t as easy to push it to the back of his mind. Roy had left after the kiss, leaving him alone and miserable again. He couldn’t stop thinking about exactly what had happened, how much of a mistake he might have made. This twisted part of him was yearning for it, though — everything Roy was willing to give him, every little affectionate gesture and words. He hadn’t felt so strongly about the man since he came back from his contract, the echoing words of “wait for me” heavy on his mind.

It was horrible waiting. He didn’t know when to expect them to appear, who was going to be first, or what horror they would inflict upon him when they had their chance. He sniffled softly, immedietly wanting Roy to come back. He needed someone to tell him it was going to be okay.

The door clunked open. His eyes darted upwards, breath hitching in anticipation as to who it would be. His stomach sank to his feet when he realised it was Beard. The man looked grim as he entered, eyes flicking instantly towards Leo, before glancing around the rest of the basement.

He tried not to let his breathing pick up. Being the basement was bad in of itself, but now that he was trapped in such a tiny space with nowhere to go? It was so much worse. Much more daunting.

Beard shuffled on his feet, taking a look at the chair, and then the tools on the wall.

He didn’t look too happy.

Beard had only ever liked hurting him when the others were watching. He would have to endure their taunts and heckling laughter, all while taking the torturous pain he’d inflict on him. Some part of Leo hoped that whatever pleasure he got from hurting people with an audience, might put him off from doing too much damage. From the irriated look in his eyes, he wasn’t sure if that was the case, or if Beard was going to take this frustration out on him mercilessly.

He swallowed uneasily, head filled with cotton. He just wanted this to be over already.

The man tapped his foot impatiently, reaching for his own pocket instead. He pulled out a cigerrate and lighter, pressing it between his lips with a drawn out sigh, and flicking it on. Leo feverishly counted the seconds, praying that by some miracle, the twenty minutes would be over by the time he decided to make use of him. Obviously, there was no such luck. The man plucked up a long cloth, before finally making his way over to him.

His boots thumped against the ground, matching the racing of Leo’s own heart. He attempted to press himself closer to the wall, but Beard’s hand shot out to grab his shirt before he could make any kind of feeble escape.

He suppressed a quiet whimper as he was dragged forward, and shoved roughly into the ground. His eyes burned with tears as he landed on his hands, biting down so hard on his lip that it drew blood. The copper taste lingered on his tongue, squirming when a hand fisted into his hair, yanking his head back. A pained cry tore from his throat, but it was cut off when the rag was stuffed roughly into his mouth. He choked, vision splitting when his head was released, thumping against the concrete.

Beard tutted. “Just shut up. I want to get it over and done with.”

Leo squirmed, but the sweltering pain in his fingers was making his stomach heave, threatening to empty itself across the floor. He felt the heavy man on top of him, flicking the lighter on with a quiet scowl. The back of his shirt was yanked up, and Leo tried to resist the urge to press his hands into the ground to steady himself. He considered kicking and squirming his way out from under him, but those thoughts were swiftly squashed.

There was nothing he could do but endure this. When it did, it would all be over. It was his fault this was happening in the first place. If he hadn’t ran away, then Roy wouldn’t have been so mad, and he wouldn’t be in this position right now. He ground his teeth against the gag, feeling the lick of the lighter against his shoulder blades. He tensed, a clammy sweat beading across his forehead. His mind drifted to the whip.

He didn’t even want to imagine what his back looked like with so many terrible scars and wounds. He was suddenly frightened the flame would brush against the sensitive skin, and it made his whole body shiver in anticpation. A sharp, bright pain seared against his skin, and he jerked, a muffled whine echoing through the basement. Beard scoffed, his weight pressing uncomfortably in his ribs.

“Stop squirming,” he snapped, voice low. He could smell the putrid tobacco from his cigarette invading his senses and stinging his eyes. Leo scrunched them shut, and even though the lighter only covered a fraction of his skin, it still burned wildfire. It felt like the flames were digging under his skin, setting the nerves alight with agony. His body jerked and squirmed under each flame, no matter how much Beard threatened him to stay still. The gag dried his mouth out uncomfortably, making it difficult to even suck in a single, needed breath to relieve his aching lungs. Hot tears tracked down his face, though they felt icy compared to the sting of the lighter.

Beard seemed to grow bored by the time Leo was sweating and panting, choked sobs muffled by the uncomfortable gag. It seemed that without an audience, he didn’t find much purpose in what he was doing. He finally stepped off of him, but not without sending a sharp kick to his stomach as he went. Leo’s eyes bulged, a strained wheeze catching in his throat as he desperately curled in on himself to push the pain away. He couldn’t even reach up to pull the gag out of his mouth.

He desperately wanted to sooth the painful itch spreading along his back, his shaking breaths puffing against the disgusting rag stuffed between his teeth. A crippling pain was still gripping his stomach by the time Beard lazily tossed his cigarette on the ground, and left the room.

The loud bang of the metal door forced Leo’s eyes open, a miserable groan tearing from his lips.

The silence returned, and Leo could barely even find the strength to move from his curled up position. He pressed his head into the ground, fighting the cotton returning back to his head, bloating against the back of his eyes. He tried not to look at the door. He tried not to let the panic of another mercenary wandering inside cloud his judgement, otherwise he would start hyperventilating against the gag. It was hard enough to breathe through his nose at the moment.

Another horrible wait stretched by.

His mind tossed the last two in his mind. Bran or Joey. Joey or Bran.

God, Bran was going to be so pissed. He already seemed to blame him for Finger’s, or Rafi’s, death, and no doubt he was going to make him pay for the bad mouthing and vase cracking against his head. He remembered the flash of red blood he’d seen under his hair and—

Leo bit down hard on the gag.

He was shaking.

His fingers were throbbing and his head was swimming with nausea. His thoughts were chanting in his mind, too loud in the all-too quiet room, rocking through his skull like alarm bells. He wanted to slam his hands over his ears to block it out, but he couldn’t. He just wanted to come out of the basement, and he just wanted Roy back.

The familiar screeching of metal ripped him from his mind. Panic instantly set in when he squinted at the familiar figure, who was probably the last person he wanted to see right now. Bran was staring at him with this narrowed, furious look in his beady eyes, but his lip was twisted into a sadistic grin.

Leo let out a terrified whine, waiting for the inevitable twenty minutes of torture he was going to inflict on him. Bran didn’t waste a second tucking in.

His meaty fingers yanked him up by the front of his shirt, jarring his neck uncomfortably from the sheer force. His fist smacked into the side of his face, and before Leo could even register the explosion of pain, he drove his knuckles back down into his jaw for a second time.

Then a third.

And then a fourth.

Leo’s ragged screams were muffled by the gag, feeling the skin tear from the impact, birthing a new set of dark bruises along his pale skin. The man shoved him back down onto the ground, the back of his skull bouncing against the concrete. He couldn’t even move to protect himself before a kick swung into his stomach, and Leo was gagging.

Bran was relentless, somehow worse than he had ever been. His beating didn’t let up for even a second, only pausing to spit derogatory slurs or mock him for crying and snivveling. The blood in Leo’s head was swimming, the pain bright and crippling along his body. It was hard to blink back the spots on his vision, and so his mind eventually shut itself off halfway inbetween. It was only when the man was done with him, cursing under his breath, that he let what was happening barrel back into him.

“Twenty minutes ain’t enough with your sorry ass,” the man hissed under his breath, giving Leo one final parting kick that cracked against his nose. A broken whimper tore from his throat, lying in a panting, tangled heap of blood, splattered across the ground. His left eye was already swelling, feeling it ache uncomfortably every time he blinked.

The harsh slamming made him twitch, but it was all he could manage. Everything was going fuzzy and dark, the gag discarded and his dry mouth wheezing for air. A numbness throbbed across his face, briefly fearing the stitches would have become ruined from his never-ending assault.

It wasn’t long before Joey came in next.

Leo couldn’t even move, his body wracked with aching pains and exhaustion, even as he approached him with a somewhat grim expression on his face. He just seemed to observe him for a long while.

Leo didn’t really care. He needed a moment. He just needed a second to breathe, to collect himself before he inevitably crumbled again. He was so tired of all of this.

“I’m not interested in hurting you, Leo,” he murmured under his breath, causing Leo to pry his stinging eyes open. There was a subtle change in his breathing, but if Joey noticed, he didn’t say anything. He instead slowly reached for the gag, uncaring for the blood on it, and unravelled it. It was a long piece like that. “But I have to. So I’ll make it as easy as possible.”

Leo didn’t really understand what he meant by that, but an arm was suddenly around his shoulder, helping him sit up. It pressed uncomfortably against the lighter burns on his back, causing him to suck in a sharp hiss. It rattled his ribs as he went, and Joey seemed to adjust his grasp on the cloth.

It was suddenly being looped around his neck, and Leo choked on a delayed gasp as it cut off the air from his lungs. Joey twisted his wrist, the material wrapping around the joint, jerking him back forcefully. His mind was suddenly kicked into overdrive, instinctively reaching up to pry the sharp cloth from his neck, but Joey seized his wrists, pulling him closer.

“You’ll just make them worse,” he murmured under his breath, and Leo frantically struggled against his hold. The spots were consuming his vision now, cotton building in his brain, no matter how much he kicked and thrashed through the crippling pain. A small, choked wheeze was the last thing he heard from himself, before his eyes were rolling to the back of his head, and he slumped still.

tag list – @unorganisedalienrubbish @d-cs @rabidrabidme @sordayciega @burningkittypoet @whumpawink @mannerofwhump @suspicious-whumping-egg @welcome-to-the-whumpfest @whatwasmyprevioususername @crilex29 @firefly017 @dutifullykrispyland @wibbly-wobbly-whump @there-will-always-be-blood @anonintrovert @justawhumpjunkie @whumptastic-world @ha-ha-one @whatwhumpcomments @whumpterful-beeeeee @anonymous1235 @sonder35 @unforgiven235 @whumpasaurus101 @mj-or-say10 @professional-idiocy @seaweed-is-cool @theelvishcowgirl @atomicsandwichprince @sunshiline-writes @peasandpotatos

#guns for hire #whump #whump writing #whumpblr #whump scenario #whump series #whump fic #whump tropes #whump community #whumper #whumpee #leo and roy #my writing #writing #avvail whumps #i couldn't get into writing this one #so i don't really like it #oh well #🤭

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lightparty-fullparty · 2 months

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Gods okay I need to talk about the Stormblood Antagonists for a hot minute. Whatever personal issues I have with how Stormblood is paced or how certain characters are handled, the villains are absolutely fantastic.

If there is one singular theme that ties the main three antagonists (that being, Fordola/Yotsuyu/Zenos) together. It's the idea of the Ouroboros. The snake that is caught in a self-destructive cycle of devouring it's own tail.

Historical in our real world, the Ouroboros has been symbolic of main things, the cycles of life and death, fertility, even immortality. However, it can also been seen in a more negative light as a symbol of perpetuated suffering. Of being unable to let go of something that only end up hurting you more. And gods doesn't that just sound familiar?

Now I can hear you, in your head saying "But Gengar - Yostuyu and Fordola obviously have those parallels of suffering abuse and becoming abusers themselves, but what the hell are you doing throwing Zenos in there too? He's the abuser." And I get it, I do. Aside from the fact I'm a self-admitted Zenos lover, he doesn't at first glance really fit in with the ladies. But hear me out okay?

It's not just suffering abuse. It's refusing to let go and allow yourself and your perspective to change, even though your current way of thinking and acting is only making you suffer more. Yotsuyu was victimised for *years* at the hands of her Aunt/Uncle/Asahi. Then sold off to an (asummedly) abusive husband, and then sold again into prostitution. She was never offered a shred of sympathy or kindness during this time. And when she was given power, given authority and the means to protect herself physically. She choose to return all of the suffering she endured onto the people of Doma. She did not see them as being in the same position as her, suffering under the abuse of the Garlean Empire. She did not offer them any sympathy or kindness of her own, because (in her mind) they had denied that basic decency to her. Yotsuyu couldn't let go of her hatred until a literal giant wooden beam smacked her on the head and gave her complete amniesia. At which point, she displayed the ability to be kind. To think of others and to try and do nice things for them (Persimmons anyone?). Tsuyu was freed from her self-inflicted cycle of pain. She stopped letting herself be comsumed by her own anger and fear. Fordola was much the same, though her family at least very clearly cared for her. She grew up in an occupied Ala Mihgo. In a family with supported the Imperial force. Out of genuine agreement with the Empire or as a means of ensuring a sightly better life for themselves we don't really know (as far as I can remember at least). Fordola's suffering, much like Yotsuyu's, came at the hands of her own 'countrymen'. People who (rightly) despised the Empire for it's brutal oppression, but who choose to take it on someone more vulnerable and accessable. A child. A young girl who was given a horrible and sudden lesson on just how cruel people can be. On both sides of the conflict.

Fordola chose to join the Garlean Army in the hopes of amassing power for herself. Of trying desperately to carve out some place of herself and her friends where they felt they actually belonged. Where they would be respected. Unfortunately, she found none of this. The Garleans saw her as a 'savage', the Ala Mihgian's saw her as a tratior. Like Yotsuyu, Fordola couldn't let go of her desire for revenge. Her desire to "make anyone who ever looked down on (her) pay!". It drove her to extremes to try and hold onto that scrap of power she had managed to gather. The resonant, the Castrum, all of it more teeth biting into her own tail. So what can Zenos not let go of?

His belief that the only joy he can find in life is from dying in combat. Because let's be honest with ourselves, Zenos has no desire to live here. He wants a meaningful death, a brilliant, climactic, perfect moment and then he wants to not be alive anymore after that. It's why he chooses to kill himself after the Royal Menagiere. You beat him! You gave him his perfect moment! He knows (believes) that there's nothing left for him after this! So he dies. Zenos is infact suffering. It's just not as clear as Fordola or Yotsuyu. He's miserable. He's perpetually bored, and lethargic, and consumed by apathy. A prison of his own making because he has had tunnel vision since he was like 8? 10? that combat was the only thing capable of making him feel anything. So he chases after it, chases after you (the WOL). Trying to push you and push you like he was until you're capable of giving him what he wants. His perfect, transcendant moment of pure joy, and then death after.

Really what it comes down to is that Fordola, Yotsuyu, and Zenos are stuck in their own self-perpetuated misery. Yotsuyu in her fear of powerlessness, Fordola in her need for revenge, and Zenos in his desperation for meaning.

And none of them can see a way to break their own cycles until it someone outside of it comes in to try and do it for them. (Gosetsu/Lyse + Arenvald/WOL+Alisaie)

'Ere does the head devour the tail.

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #zenos yae galvus #fordola rem lupis #yotsuyu goe brutus #it's important to me as well that Fordola is the only one to full break out of her cycle #the only one to get a meaningful second chance to try and start over again #because Fordola was the only one who knew what kindness and love was before her cycle started #she was the only one who was able to make connections with people #ghostly rambles

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miss-shawdowsinger · 1 year

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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic

Chapter 13

Summary: Y/N is living her worst nightmares whilst Azriel tried to hold it together and find her.

Warnings: swearing and violence 🤬 a lot of angry az

AN: I am so overwhelmed with the support on this fic so I want to say thank you to everyone who is loving it!! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much ❤️ I have done a bit from Az's pov so I hope you enjoy!!

Chapter 1

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Azriel’s pov:

Azriel sat in a large chair, accommodating his wings, in Rhys and Fayre’s house. He didn’t want to go back to the house of wind and face Cassian and Nesta. Not until he had Y/N by his side. The couple wasn’t at home anyway. They had gone out, taking Nyx for a walk around the city. Azriel’s shadows curled around his arms and neck. Comforting him as he sat in silence. Only one more hour and he would go to pick her up.

Although, the bond hadn’t been accepted yet, sleeping with Y/N last night had brought out the possessive territories that the bond holds over a male. Cassian had known this morning. He saw it on Azriel’s face as soon as he even glanced at Y/N. He couldn’t help it, the fury he felt when another male looked her way. Even if it was Cassian. He needed the fight to cool off, and better with Cassian then some random fae on the street. At least Cassian could hold his own.

They both fought hard. Pummelling each other into the ground. The mating bond somehow giving Azriel even more endurance and force behind each movement. Cassian gave his best in return. The only thing stopping them from brutally injuring the other is how skilled they both were in defence. There endurance could only last so long, before Azriel came out of the bonds haze. Cassian had landed one last punch to his stomach, knocking the wind right out of him for good measure. He didn’t expect that when he returned, Y/N would be nowhere to be seen. Azriel scanned each of the females faces but she was gone.

“Y/N isn’t here” Nesta quietly informed him. She stood up tall, but he could smell the guilt on her.

“Where is she?” he asked calmly, although his head was spinning.

“I’m sorry Az. I thought she knew. I smelt you on her this morning and Elain had told me about you finding your mate” she paused. “I told her about the mating bond”. Azriel growled, his face turning into a scowl. Cassian stood in between his mate and him, blocking her from any uncharacteristic attacks. Azriel didn’t even give himself time to think. He knew the only place Y/N would go. So, he took off without a word and headed for the bakery.

He twirled a small glass of Rhys’ best whiskey around in a tumbler before taking a long sip. Azriel very rarely felt nervous but waiting for Y/N felt like a lifetime. He didn’t care if she needed space to process. He would wait another century if she needed it. It was what she had said earlier that day that stuck with him. The question scraping along his mind like a sharp dagger.

‘Do you think I am a monster?’

She had said no. But he knew the truth. He knew all the things he had done in his life. He was the High lords spymaster, of course he had done terrible things. Unspeakable things. When the mating bond snapped into place he was terrified. He had longed for it, for someone to love who could love him in return. Especially after seeing his two brothers so damn happy. But how could someone love him after everything he had done?

How could Y/N love him if she knew? She had been through enough in her childhood, like he had but if she ever knew that he inflicted that pain on others…..how could she love that? He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. Azriel had been able to feel her emotions all day. She felt a mixture of everything at first and then just pure fear. He told himself to ignore it, that at the end of the day they would talk and work things out.

Azriel took a long deep breath before finishing his glass of whiskey. It was time to go and see her. He brushed himself off as he disappeared into the shadows.

He arrived at the bakery window. Surprised to see the light was still on and the door unlocked, it was way past closing time and Y/N was usually very punctual when it came to closing. Azriel stepped into the empty shop.

“Y/N” he called out but there wasn’t a reply. Everything looked to be in place apart from a few coins that were spread across the shop floor. “Y/N” he called again. He pushed down the slight panic creeping up through him and decided to go to her apartment upstairs.

The apartment was empty. He checked every room, including the cleaning cupboard. Now he knew something was wrong. Y/N never left the shop unless the door was locked. It was the one thing that Azriel found amusing about the night of the attack. The window was completely smashed in, but she still locked the doors.

He called out through the bond, pulling on it. If she didn’t want to see him that was fine, but he needed to know she was safe. There was no answer. Azriel clenched his fists trying to steady his mind but it was too late. His shadows exploded as his mind screamed out.

‘Azriel, what is it?’ Rhys’ voice appeared in his head.

‘Y/N is missing’ Azriel thundered back.

Not a second later Rhys winnowed into the shop. His violet eyes scanning the shop floor. “Are you sure she hasn’t just gone out?”

“Do you think I would call you here if I thought that?” Azriel had to stop himself from lashing out at his high lord. It took all his strength to stand in one place.

“Cassian hasn’t seen her” Rhys confirmed. “We will find her, Az” he tentatively placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. He had barely even made contact when Azriel snapped up and grabbed Rhys’ wrist, baring his teeth.

“If someone has harmed her” he growled. A deep threatening, deathlike growl. “I will kill them……slowly”.

“I understand” Rhys’ violet eyes met his hazel ones. “More then anything, I understand. But Az, you need to tell me. Is there anyone that would have taken Y/N?”.

Azriel’s blood turned cold. “No one from Velaris” he finally let go of Rhys’ wrist. “Has anyone from the Court of Nightmares been here today?”.

Rhys’ eyes widened “Tell me everything”.

Y/N pov:

Your eyes blinked open slowly. There was a pounding in your head and some warm liquid was running down your face. Blood. You could smell it as you let your eyes adjust to the dim light in the room. The room was empty apart from you and the chains. The chains that bound at your wrists and connected to the hinge on the wall.

The only noise was the dripping on the damp, cold walls. It smelt like death in this room and it was emanating from you. You swallowed hard but your dry throat struggled against you. The last thing you remember is seeing your brother, then next thing you woke up here. At least you were still alive.

How long had you been knocked out? You attempted to squeeze your hands through the bound chains but it was useless. The pounding on your head grew with each movement you made. The moist air made it uncomfortable to breath as you slumped on the ground. You needed to find a way out, somehow.

Footsteps approached the door. You pushed yourself as close to the wall as you could get but there was no hiding in this empty room. The door swung open with such force, it shook the whole room. It was like looking back in time. The man before you had grown but he still wore the same features he had when he was just a boy. His dark hair covered his brow as his piercing blue eyes found yours.

“Your awake” he snarled as he closed the door behind him. “Finally”.

“Jasker” you voice barely croaked out his name.

“More to the point you are alive. After all these years, I thought you were dead. What about mother? Is she out there somewhere too?” he leant against the wall opposite where you were sat. His arms crossed over his chest as he assessed you.

“No” was all you managed to say.

“I saw the picture of you and her in your apartment” he growled. “Either you are lying, or she hasn’t been dead long”.

“She died in the attack on Velaris a couple of years ago” you spat at him.

“Ahh” he bowed his head for a second. He pulled a small dagger from a sheath on his belt and flipped it around in his fingers. Assessing the blade.

“Why are you doing this?” your voice was shaky.

“Doing what? I haven’t done anything to you……yet” he smirked.

“After all these years. Could you not just leave me to live my life without your abuse” you stood up, pulling hard on the chains but they didn’t budge.

“What? Let you live in peace while you and mother abandoned me to a life in the Hewn City” he stepped closer to you, towering over you but you didn’t back away. You wouldn’t let him see the fear that was shaking you to your very core.

“Father left us both on the street to die” you screamed.

“You don’t think he’s done the same to me” Jasker spat back. “I’ve been left to die more time than I could count. I was nineteen when you left. I thought you were both dead. Imagine my surprise when I saw you in a bakery in some hidden city. Older but still you. Alive. What? You and mother just decided to leave me with the monster who tried to kill you. Did you even think about me after you left?”.

You fought to hold back the tears. “You were just as bad as him” you hissed. Anger raging through you at the memories of your childhood.

“I was a child. A child who tormented his little sister. A child who went through the same abuse as you, but no one saved me” his eyes darkened as they looked down at you. Your throat tightened as you stared up at the boy you used to know. Everything he went through had shaped him into this.

“Jasker – I…” you were cut off as the door swung open once more. You looked, as the face that haunted your nightmares stared back at you. He looked exactly how you remembered him.

His dark hair matched his almost black eyes. He wasn’t as tall as your brother but he was broad. A small, rough beard grew over his jaw. The male strode in through the door, his outfit was pristine, but you could already smell the alcohol on his breath.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen for myself”. You shuddered at the sound of his voice. “Y/N, welcome back home” your father smiled. His teeth bared like the devil himself.

Your voice failed you. You had nightmares about this moment. They would wake you from your sleep in a cold sweated panic. But this was no longer a dream, your father and brother both stood before you. You were helpless, tied down by chains. The room you stood in now came into focus. It was your old bedroom, back at the Hewn City. You had prayed to the mother to never set your eyes on these walls again but here you were.

You closed your eyes, hoping that you had just fallen asleep. Hoping you would wake up and Azriel would be there, pulling you tightly to his chest. You opened your eyes, but you were still in your worst nightmare.

“Let me have a look at you” your father stood over you. Looking at you up and down. He then took a cold, spindled finger and ran it across the scar on your neck. Pain surged through you as his talon like fingers traced the jiggered line.

Your body moved on muscle memory alone. Your leg swept round in one quick unexpected movement. Knocking your father to the floor, his head cracking on the hard surface. Within the second you were on him, striking him with everything you had. You landed punches to his head, cracking his nose and jaw. The added weight of the chains helping to break bones.

Something struck you hard in the chest and you fell backwards onto the ground. The wind was knocked out of you. Catching your breath, you sat up, watching as your brother pulled your father out of your reach. The only reason you had managed to strike so many blows was because you had surprised him. You knew that no matter how strong you were now, you were nothing in compared to your brother.

You launched forward one last time, anger and fear egging you on. Your arms snagged backwards, nearly knocking you off balance as the chains wrapped round your wrist reached its length. They were just out of reach.

“He won’t forget this” Jasker snarled as he dragged your unconscious farther from the room.

“I hope not” you snarled as he closed the door and left you alone.

Azriel pov:

It had been a whole day since Y/N had gone missing. Azriel hadn’t slept at all. There was no sign of her and no matter how much Azriel pushed, Rhys refused to storm the Hewn City.

“We have to be clever about this. I have sent word to Kier that we will be visiting tonight” Rhys informed him calmly.

“Rhys is right Azriel. You will wage war in our own court if you just storm in and knock everyone down in your path” Fayre patted him lightly on the shoulder. “We will get her back” she smiled sweetly.

“And what’s the plan when we get there?” Cassian leaned his two knuckles on Rhys’ desk. “We can’t just raid every room in the city”.

“If Az is right and someone from the city has taken Y/N then Kier won’t stand for it” Rhys rubbed his temples.

“You are trusting Kier with this?” Mor furrowed her brows.

“That’s not what I’m saying” Rhys reassured her. “Whoever took her won’t know her connections to us. Once they realise, they won’t be stupid enough to keep her. Kier knows far better then anyone the consequences of crossing us”.

“And what if that doesn’t work?” Azriel growled. “What then Rhys?”.

“She is your mate Azriel. You will be able to feel her” Rhys looked at Azriel, sorrow in his eyes. Azriel hated that look. The way they were all looking at him. Like she was already dead.

“I can barely feel her now” he clenched is jaw. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. They all sat in a comfy office while Y/N was mother knows where, probably getting hurt.

“Don’t think like that” Cassian pulled his attention away from his thoughts. “It’ll drive you mad. Trust me, I know”

Azriel felt his whole body tensing, no matter how much he tried to clear his head, it roared at him to move. To do something, to find Y/N. He was going to be sick. His blood ran cold as the group around him strategized the night. While Azriel thought about what he was going to do to the culprits behind this. How he would kill them.

“So Mor, Cassian, Az and I will go” Rhys confirmed. “Meet back here in an hour” he dismissed the group but Azriel didn’t budge. Where would he go? The hour was going to be torcher. So, he stayed planted in his seat while the others left the room. “Azriel, I know what you are going through” Rhys began when there was just the two of them left.

“Don’t” Azriel clenched his teeth. “I don’t care right now about what you or Cassian or anybody has gone through. You got them back. I haven’t gotten Y/N back and until I do you can’t tell me what I am going through” his deathly voice gritted. He gripped the arms of the chair so hard, the whites of his knuckled showed.

“I will do everything in my power to get her back” Rhys promised.

“I know” Azriel blinked. He trusted Rhys and he knew that he would do anything to help him but the fear Azriel felt was clouding his judgment. Every second that went by could be the fatal blow.

The hour had past dangerously slow. Azriel’s shadows were the only thing keeping him from erupting. They closed around his body, soothingly whispering to him. He now stood in the foyer of the house. Waiting for everyone to be ready.

Mor was going to winnow Cassian while Rhys and Azriel winnowed themselves. Mor went first, making sure that Azriel didn’t get there first and loose all sense of control. Azriel followed behind, wrapping himself in his shadows. The world suddenly turned to black, shadows curling around him until his feet hit solid ground. He stepped into the dim light of the Hewn City. Azriel hated this place, almost as much as he hated Windhaven. His feet began moving as his chest heaved, he could feel her. A solid hand grabbed his arm pulling him back.

“Don’t loose your head” Cassian warned.

“When have I ever done that?” Azriel growled, plastering his unreadable mask over his features. Rhys emerged from his own darkness, his violet eyes taking in the dimly lit hallway.

“Let’s move. Stay behind me” he directed the last order to Azriel. He nodded once and followed closely behind his high lord.

They moved calmly through the hallway into the crowded throne room. Rhys didn’t so much as lift a finger and the whole room flooded with the feeling of his power. The room fell silent as Rhys moved through the room. Everyone bowed down to him as he approached his throne at the front of the room.

Azriel, Cassian and Mor flanked him as he sat on his hauntingly beautiful throne. Azriel looked out over the crowd. Each one a cowardly snake in his eyes. He clenched his fists as he felt down the bond. Pleading to the mother to feel her reach back for him.

“Rise” Rhys instructed, and the room rose from their bows. Kier stepped forward addressing Rhysand directly.

“What do we owe the pleasure of your presence this evening Rhysand? It’s not the holidays yet” Kier sneered. He knew just how to play this game of cat and mouse. Thankfully, so did Rhys.

“A girl was taken from Velaris during your last visit Kier. Return her. Now.” Rhys demanded. No threats needed as his power pulsed around the room.

“You are accusing my people of kidnapping a girl” Kier’s eyes narrowed.

“It is not an accusation Kier” Rhys casually picked a piece of invisible lint from his jacket. “I can feel her here”. Azriel could sense the lie but Kier didn’t know the extent of Rhys’ power. “If she is not returned before I get bored, I will send my men in. The fae who stole her will deal with the consequences of my Shadowsinger. Anyone who stands in their way will also be delt with accordingly. Do you understand?” Rhys’ tone was that of someone incredibly bored. The face he always put on when visiting the Hewn City. But his violet eyes burnt through Kier with violent intent.

Chapter 14

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #batboys #cassian #rhysand

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lovearne · 6 months

Text

Village

Ghost (Simon riley) x reader (platonic)

Non gendered trans reader

No use of y/n, no mention of sex or gender

All of my fics and my whole page is 18+ only, if you are a child leave. I deserve a safe space to express myself, all blogs under 18 or no age will be blocked. Let me enjoy my experience safely on the internet, thank you.

I needed to get how I currently feel out. I know a lot of trans and non-cis people can relate. So I wrote this to be viewed by anybody who isn't cis. I do user the term transgender so please be aware of that if you don't identify as trans.

This fic is very loosely inspired by my resonation with 'the village by wrabble' there are some lyrics used as dialog.

Warnings: transphobia, Christian typical trans and homophobia, reader is suicidal, reader self harms, mostly Ghosts pov.

Word count: 1.3k

He was worried.

He was very rarely worried. Hardly hardly ever worried.

But he finds himself worried sick over you.

He'd watched for years as a friend as you'd gotten more and more tense. You'd started with bright eyes and a light soul. He'd found it irritating. He found you obnoxious. He hated obviously happy and bouncy people.

But after a particularly long break, coming back from his leave time, he'd seen you going into the mess hall for breakfast. You were still in the government issued pyjamas.

He found that strange.

It didn't take him long to see that your eyes had died a little. He'd clocked it instantly. The way you carried yourself as if you were surviving out of necessity instead of enjoyment.

You'd stopped the quirky nature you had. Your heart was obviously not behind anything anymore.

This also made you better in the field.

This made you harder, it seemed.

He didn't care.

At least he didn't want to.

He wanted to be able to say that you didn't worry him. But you were starting to.

That irritated him.

The last time he'd worried he'd gotten his people killed.

It wasn't until years later, and multiple leave periods where you'd stay at base the whole time that he was officially worried.

You'd lost all of it. All need for self preservation. All want to keep going.

The last mission the two of you endured you'd gambled the hardest with your life than he'd ever seen before. Well, besides that in himself.

You'd gladly throw away your whole life, just for the pain to go away.

It also didn't take much for him to notice things.

Self inflicted wounds.

He knew what those looked like.

He knew what those felt like.

He knew to some semblance what hell you'd put yourself through.

Although he didn't want to, he decided he'd needed to speak to you.

He spent the walk to your barrack going over the symptoms he'd seen you outwardly show, and some he'd seen through your mask.

The sharp knock his knuckles made on your door shook him. There was something he was missing.

"Lieutenant Ghost," you'd started,voice a little slurred, indulging in a little contraband on your off hours. "How may I help you sir?" Your voice was quickly slipping between professional and slurred.

"Have you been drinking?" You nodded.

"As much as I can." He nodded. "I know you have to write me up for it. Go ahead."

"No, instead of that, you're gonna talk to me." You rolled your eyes.

"Fuck," you sighed. "fine. Want some scotch?" He answered you and you let him into your room.

The two of you sat there, occasional sips from you with your alcohol and the steady sound of the tap that leaked just enough to lull you to sleep at night.

"So, Lt. Why not just ask me." He sat a little straighter to look at you. You nod. "Go on." You pause. "I'm curious as to why you'd even come here."

"I've noticed a change in you since you started." You nod.

"Yeah, war. Amirite?" You try to joke, bitterly.

"Not quite." You shoot your eyebrows up.

"Well, then what do you think?" He sighs, trying to remain a caring superior.

"I think that if I searched your garbage trail, I'd find bottles of empty alcohol." You nod. "I think that if I went to the general, he'd throw you home with 'dishonourable discharge' slapped on your file." You nod again.

"So that's what this is. An intervention?" You chuckle with dry humour.

"I didn't know about the drinking until you opened the door." His head shook. "But addiction isn't surprising. I just know it's not the only thing going on." He breathes. "I'm not pressuring you, I'm just trying to help you."

"So you walk in here wanting answers?" He nods. "OK, ask your questions." He tilts his head, eyes narrowing. "I've already been disowned. Worst that can happen is you transfer me." Oh. That's why you hadn't left base.

"OK. The first leave after you started. You came home early." You laughed again. This time in displeasure.

"Yep, yep I did." Your eyes had sunken.

"Why?"

"Being disowned and thrown out will do that." He nodded. "Next question."

"Why did you do that?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you take my place the last mission?" You shrugged.

"Didn't want you to die, I guess."

"Or you wanted to." Oh. You pushed a breath through your nose.

"Yeah, that's been a constant thought since puberty." He nods.

"Why don't you wear the cross?"

"What?" He leans his head forward.

"That cross necklace you had. Johnny has one like it." You laughed amused.

"Stopped believing in a puritan hypercult." He huffed at that.

"Why?" You looked at him.

"Why not? They are just a bunch of prices using the fact that people are afraid of death to push hatred into the world. I can't be loyal to a God that shuns people for things they can't help. Or a religion that stripped people of rights and culture. I couldn't do it anymore." He nods.

"So, why does he shun you?" You shake your head.

"Why does he shun you?" You retort.

"I kill people that probably don't deserve it. I leave a trail of bodies of coworkers and innocents behind me. I'm… fucked up. Twisted, you may call it." You emphasise with him.

"Heavens operated anyways."

"Your turn." He said. You gulp.

"I'm not," you start.

"Take your time. I'm here to help."

"I'm not who you see." He nods.

"OK." You close your eyes.

"It's like wearing a costume. And I hate wearing it, but no matter what I do, I can't get it off, I can't change it, I can't take away the parts I like and put on the parts I do like. It's like I'm constantly screaming, wanting out." He nods again. "I'm transgender." He nods again.

"There is nothing wrong with you." He returns. You nod.

"My parents think so, my ex religion thinks so, strangers think so. They'd rather me die than be trans." Then it clicked.

"It's one page in the Bible. One page."

"Christians aren't so smart, Lt. They pick and choose which pages to listen to." You laugh, butter again.

"One page in the Bible isn't worth a life." You close your eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong with them."

"Why does it feel that way then? Why do they do that? Why do they-"

"Did you know in the wild birds will kill birds who are too colourful or not colourful enough?" You shake your head. "Society hates different. They want to stomp it down and ruin it. But you can't let that happen." You shake your head again.

"Some days it's harder." He nods.

"I know. Healing isn't a straight line." You nod. He puts his hand comfortingly on your shoulder.

"Now, anything you need for your transition if you choose to do so, I will ensure you have access to. And anything you need for yourself I will also organise. But first. You need to go to rehab. I will not allow you to be an alcoholic and drink your days away."

"That's a little hypocritical Lieutenant.

He laughs. And your eyes brighten.

Months later, your eyes and attitude are continuing to lighten.

He finds himself less worried with each passing day.

You're one life he's saved that he will always hold close in his heart. You were now his found family. You were as much his kid as you were his sibling. And he'd treat you as such.

Until the day he died.

And you couldn't ask for a better brother.

#simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #ghost x reader #platonic fic #trans reader #transgender #trans

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yandere-fics · 1 month

Note

"Please don't kill me Runa"

The words played endlessly in her mind, over and over again like a broken record. She would never kill you. You were her beloved, her darling, her everything. And yet, no matter how much she tells you, you just keep ignoring her.

"Please don't kill me Runa"

You'd ignored her before. One time she let it slip the reason your best friend no longer looked for you was because of what she'd done to them. You ignored her for days then. She begged and pleaded with you to acknowledge her existence but you never did, she feared you would refuse to love her ever again. Her heart ached for days until she had cried herself into sickness. But then you stopped ignoring her. And you loved her again. But this time was different.

"Please don't kill me Runa"

Your voice was so sweet. She choked back tears remembering how scared you were, how you looked at her with such... contempt. She couldn't even remember why she was angry. You must have done something to make her that furious but... but... oh sweetheart... I'm so sorry I scared you. She clinged onto that memory with all she had, it brings her so much pain to recall it, but if she ever stops replaying it, she could lose your voice forever. She could forget what her beloved sounded like. No. Sounds. What they sound like.

"Please don't kill me Runa"

She looks over towards you, lying there, your eyes shut in defiance. Your eyes... they were so... scared. Angry. What are they now? What colour were they? She doesn't even know.

"Please don't kill me Runa."

You're doing it again. That cruel awful thing. You're rotting. Rotting away because you refuse to wake up for her. You refuse to be fed, to drink, to bathe. She has to wipe you down with a damp cloth just to keep you clean, and yet, you're going grey, your skin is shrinking, you're so frail. How can you be so frail?! She's surrounded you with all of your favourite things, everything you loved. Your favourite flowers, those toys you always wanted to collect, she even plays your music for you. Can't you see how she loves you? And yet you rot. You wither away.

"Please dont kill Runa."

She can't even leave the house anymore. She can't bare to leave your side. If she leaves, you might wither away by the time she's back. You could get sick, that wound never did heal after all. The wound she inflicted on you, that you inflicted back on her a thousand times over. Whatever physical pain she brought you when she plunged that knife into your chest is nothing compared to the heartbreak you've forced her to endure.

" don't Runa"

She panics, she let it slip, she stopped thinking about your final words for just a moment and it slipped. She desperately searches her mind but it's gone. She only let go for a second.

"I didn't mean to... please stop doing this... I can't let you go. I can't put you in the ground. I need you here with me, I need you by my side. I need to hear your voice, please. Just look at me one more time, just one more time. I need to hear that you love me just once. Just once. I won't even be mad at you. Please."

" "

-girlfailure

Excuse me, emotional devastation omg i am traumatized.

#girlfailure anon

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outofangband · 1 year

Text

@imakemywings made a really interesting poll on the opinions of the fandom regarding Maedhros’s physical appearance after Angband and how much, if at all, it changed

I am writing a series of posts on the various possibilities and what that could imply for the story and for the general treatment of ex prisoners in First Age Beleriand but I thought at first I’d just post my own opinion on this! Obviously I have many, many posts about Maedhros in Angband as well as elven healing and the ways it differs from humans and they’re some of my very favorite things to talk about so please feel free to ask more!!

Maedhros sustains extensive injuries in Angband, from torture inflicted upon him directly as well as from neglect and exposure to the elements during his time upon Thangorodrim. It is generally unrealistic, if not impossible, to make direct comparisons to human, or even other animal, healing factors in this case. Even just hours of suspension from a single limb, let alone at such a height, would kill a human. Even a shorter period of time would result in devastating injuries from what is called suspension trauma. Maedhros’s survival would thus be the result of either (or both), profound differences in elven bodies and their limits, and/or the ability of certain denizens of Angband to keep a living creature alive or in a sort of stasis while enduring otherwise unsurvivable conditions. Though I do believe that elven bodies differ in many ways to humans, I tend to go with the latter conclusion as it also can apply to Húrin, canonically kept alive by the will of Morgoth.

I think that Angband impedes the healing abilities of elves in many ways. This isn’t directly said in canon but fits with other canon information. We see signs of aging and injury in Gwindor for example that typically are impossible in the elves.

Angband cuts off elves from the world in ways that are unnatural to them. Their sense of time and space, of navigation, sensory processing and often more physical functions are forever affected by imprisonment there.

Maedhros is described as hale which of course means healthy but one can have scars and be healthy. And of course there are elves with physical disabilities.

I also think that, regardless of how much of Maedhros’s torment is visible upon his skin, he does experience physical disability, even apart from his missing hand.

His posture is affected by his time upon Thangorodrim for example. Not in the crushing, devastating ways that would befall a human under even a fraction of those circumstances but nonetheless, those around him will notice how he caries himself, and how it differs from their memories.

And he experiences chronic pain that does fade somewhat over the years but never completely leaves him. Relearning the movements of freedom worsens some and alleviates others.

As for how much of his scarring is visible I tend to go back and forth between a few ideas hence why I want to make more than one post.

I do tend to agree with the sentiment I see sometimes, expressed most recently by @skyeventide, that Morgoth would have wanted Maedhros’s face to remain undamaged so he could be recognizable. I think this is true both in Angband and upon Thangorodrim. Indeed, I agree that Morgoth always held a small possibility that Maedhros might be more useful as a corpse display rather than a living one.

And it also complicates things for Maedhros if ever he does escape. Morgoth knows exactly how he will be looked at if he escapes the Hells of Iron without visible injury to his face. Morgoth is well aware how ex prisoners are viewed outside Angband and already is willing and able to utilize it to his advantage.

Anyways I’ve had a weird day so I hope this makes sense and is ok! As always please feel free to ask more.

#the silmarillion #maedhros #in the iron hell #post angband #musing and meta #again very strange day and feeling off so I am worried this isn't great but oh well

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