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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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okay fr what do you think scara is like in bed? what’s he into, what’re his kinks, the whole shebang?

modern scaramouche hc's

✭ tags ; sub!chara, dom!reader (they bottom but parts are unspecificed so gn!reader as well), this is also my modern!scaramouche take so just be aware, bratting, rough sex, slapping, hitting, a lil degradation, reader is v careful abt scaramouches boundaries tho, romantic implications reader is stronger than scara + he is short king, etc

✭ wc ; 2.1k (im soooo ashamed. anon im so sorry)

✭ a/n ; this got so out of hand so quickly. this is my personal scaramouche this has nothing to do with anyone but me and my delusions sorry in advance.

like really. cant describe how subjective this is but i also refuse to change my mind or see him any other way. thank u so much for inquiring

my modern scaramouche is usually aged like. 20-something in college. he goes to a nice university (a very competitive school mind you.) he was really concerned about excelling for like most of his hs career. kind of a loner except tartaglia who adopted him into his friend group.

he panics about his degree for the longest time cause he doesn't know what to do - but settles on civil architecture and minors in fine art.

he has his ears pierced and some other piercings too that he was peer pressured into, but overall likes how they look. he's not usually very dressed up and all of his closet is so oversized because comfort > fashion BUT he never looks like a slob either.

has like 3 other friends on campus (kazuha + mona + childe who somehow followed him there)

complicated relationship with his mom + stepmom (he doesn't hate her but they do not communicate so tons of misunderstandings between them. like sooo many)

and. usually not actively looking to date anyone ever. he had like one crush one time in highschool but chickened out so miserably and SEETHED about it the whole time.

after that he swore to never, ever, ever go back to that dark place and sort of just focused on his career and school. his major is pretty difficult so it takes a lot of his time

plus he's a little pretentious, stuck up little shit so only a few people can handle him in the first place.

anyways. u meet through tartaglia who thinks you two will get along really well (and he's trying to set you both up bc he thinks you two could work well together)

its honestly like oil and water. you're personality just rubs him the wrong way. sure childe is annoying, but he's stupid

you're...not stupid. you're kind of clever and you treat him with like. a sense of disrespect he hates. scaramouche is used to people who let him have the upperhand

but you're always pretty quick to shoot him down. you never let him him get away with anything and you guys have this like... insane back and forth for months

its the slowest of burns. he swears he hates you.

(he doesn't though. he thinks its really fucking attractive that you talk back to him and don't let him intimidate you ever. but he loathes that feeling. he also loathes how nice your laugh is and how easy it is to talk to you)

scaramouche spends. AGES. ages in denial. closes his eyes to it. its like 6 months deep into it - he starts having wet dreams and he wakes up HORRIFIED with himself.

WORSE? scaramouche knows about your sex life. not through you but through observation and gossip. he's not fucking you in the dreams. you're fucking him.

humiliated, he simply tries to ignore it. but it's making him so much moody than usual and because you two spend so much time together - you notice almost right away. of course you do.

"whats got your panties in a twist lately? not that you're usually sunshine and rainbows but you're acting like a little kid"

scaramouche says something mean. like, really mean in response. he's just so frustrated. its a personal jab, farther than he'd usually go.

he's expecting to sabotage himself you know? he does that sometimes. pushes people away when they get too close. it's a miracle he has any friends. he's expecting you to get annoyed and leave.

but there's this like. chill to your voice. and you're looking straight at him.

"you don't talk to me like that, understand? i don't care how shitty your mood is."

one hit k.o. he can't even breathe. what's wrong with him and what is happening to him, and holy shit why do you sound like that.

"sorry," he apologizes (him. he's apologizing first) "just. frustrating,"

and you immediately slink back to your usual self. and he's relieved and a little excited and just overall restless because he can't stop thinking about what just happened.

"it's fine. i like being on your ass or whatever but it's bothering me that you're so moody. maybe you really do need to get laid,"

the joke is one you often to make. it's meant to lighten the mood. but scaramouche is feeling pent-up and horny and that's kind of exactly what he needs

"s-shut up. it's not like you're going to do it,"

internally he's hoping you take the bait. he is equal parts horrified and excited watching you take in the information. you give him a lazy smile as you sit up and look at him.

"huh. do you...want me to do it?"

oh dear god. oh fuck.

"so what if i did?"

and then you laugh, which he can't decipher. he's gearing himself to be made fun of. he watches you with big wide yes as you come sit on the desk near him. feels your fingers trail his jaw and tilt his head up and holy shit he might really die.

he can barely look up at you.

"is that why you've been acting weird for last couple of weeks?" your voice is so smug and scaramouche is so turned on it's stupid. he hates it. hates himself. hates everything

"shut up,"

and then, you grab his chin. really make him look at you and it's startling but he doesn't pull away. you look gleeful.

"that why you've been running with your tail between your legs when you see me?" you hum, your eyes almost predatory "cause you want me to fuck you?"

its times like this scaramouche he could be honest. because that's exactly what he wants, but he hates having to say it.

"as if you could satisfy me," he says, instead. your eyes widen, and it takes you a minute to register it all in your head.

"you're such a fucking brat," you say, light. affectionate, really. it makes his heart pump "you think i can't?"

"i'd like to see you try," he says, absolutely and utterly in disbelief internally. you grin.

"can i kiss you?"

"why're you asking?"

"cause im an asshole, not a villain,"

you and scaramouche makeout in a study room before he decides to to get ahold of himself and invites you into his dorm. he's never been so thankful in his life that his roomate is gone.

when you get scaramouche into bed - it really dawns on him how out of his element he is. he's not a virgin - a few awkward and usually bad hook-ups in his repertoire.

but you're not like them. he's bitey and on edge but you handle him. ask for permission for little things, clarifications for what he's okay with. you're thoughtful, despite how much he's lashing out.

and it's turning scaramouche so much he doesn't know how to handle it other than doing it again. he wants to provoke you so much. he wants to put him in his place over and over.

it's mid makeout he pulls away, frustration all-welled up inside him that he asks. he's hard and needy and needs something to get him off.

"i knew you were all talk," he sneers, putting as much of himself in it as he can "this is nothing,"

you look at him very seriously "you're really asking for it, huh," you say with a sigh "do you know what you're getting into?"

"nothing serious obviously,"

"usually when i deal with brats like you, i treat 'em real rough. im being nice to you cause you're so pent up, but it's like you don't want that," you grab his face again, getting close and personal this time and scaramouche feels like he'll collapse "want me to treat you mean and put you in your place? hit you and make you cry?"

oh it ruins his life. that's exactly what he wants. what he needs from you so much it aches. so much he chokes.

"wh-what the hell are-"

but you make him face forward, look you in your eyes.

"your first lesson is answer me when i talk to you. is that what you want? you can nod if you can't say it,"

so he nods and you laugh.

"yeah? should smack the brat outta you shouldn't i?

you're asking for permission. despite his everything, there's something affectionate about it. he feels his stomach twist with desire.

"just fucking do it already,"

"tell me if you need to stop,"

"i said—"

it's unceremonious, really. when scaramouche feels the palm of your hands on his cheek, landing heavy and hard as you push him back against the bed. you hit him.

he liked it. makes his cock throb in his fucking jeans, feeling the sting.

"your second lesson is don't fucking mouth at me," you practically spit. there's some roughness in your actions that make scaramouche keen as you crawl on top of him "can't even deal with your moods without lashing out."

scaramouche feels his stomach churn as your hands make rough work of him. you pin his wrists over his head, tell him to keep it there.

and of course he refuses, disobeys - gets to feel how strong you actually are when you spit the words back in his face again to hold fucking still.

scaramouche keeps doing it. keeps pushing until you have to put him back where he belongs forcibly. he doesn't know that he's doing it

but he wants something he can't name, a desire that aches so deep in his chest. he wants you to take responsibility for him - like a promise of some kind.

he likes the way your mouth feels on his skin. your teeth feel so good sinking into pale flesh. the scratch of your nails and sting of your palms as you spank and hit and push his body.

you manhandle him so fucking easily, putting him in every position you can think of. on his knees, or his back - naked and waiting.

you tease scaramouche till he's honest, your voice coarse until he starts giving in.

you're so good with your hands. your fingers, your mouth. you know just the right things to get him all squirmy - praising him when he's getting desperate towards the end.

his sense of shame nowhere to be found as he gets close to the edge. as you tip him over it, he can feel all the tension bleed out of him. goes from bitching, to whiny - needy and not above begging.

he doesn't even understand it. can't wrap his head around it all the way - lets you guide him through the feeling as he starts feeling pliant.

you let him fuck you with mercy. don't make him work for it, just sit on his cock and tell him that he looks so much better when he's all messed up for you and he just. melts completely. like feels like he's gonna fall through the floor.

he cries when he cums. sobs a little as he finally gets relief then melts into your bed like a pile of wet sand as you finish yourself off and overstimulate him a little in the process.

after all is said and done - he falls asleep basically immediately after the high.

when he wakes up the next day - you haven't left. he's like kind of nuzzled up in your arms (which. is wild bc he has always hated physical touch but? apparently not with you)

when you stir awake, you're immediately whistling. you even press a kiss to his forehead and brush his hair out of his face.

"you awake? feel okay?" you hum, so stupidly tender and scaramouche has to fight every urge to push you away.

"im...fine. you're still here," he says unhelpfully. you chuckle.

"yeah. figured you would start spiraling if i left in the middle of the night"

he is horrified at the accuracy.

"it's weird when you're being all...nice to me,"

"its a lot easier since i realize you just wanted to be put in your place," you say with a knowing him. scaramouche elbows you "it's cute, it's cute. don't kill me,"

"you're annoying,"

"yeah, i know. i wiped you down a bit but we should shower and i gotta make sure you're not too hurt anywhere,"

"i'm not a flower,"

"i was bein' pretty rough and its my job to take care of you,"

"why would that be your job?"

"cause im a responsible sexual partner and we're seeing each other, i figure?"

he flushes at the implication. he doesn't want to think about it as he cuddles himself into your side. ugh. whatever.

"who said that?"

"do you want me to see other people?"

"i'll kill you,"

"that's what i thought,"

scaramouche hates it but does not have the confidence to protest you.

scaramouche realizes with the weight of the world on his shoulders that he is the most submissive brat in the fucking world

he decides not to think about it for a while

#i edited it so much out i want to fuck the brat out of him im SORRRYYYYYYYY #scaramouche smut #genshin impact smut #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader #writing tag

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kirbybecomesastarwarrior · 2 days

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Lady Celestine: Navigator of the Constellations:

The Forgotten Hero of Yore

The Merlyn of the KBASW (AU) & the love of Arthur's life.

Just to be clear Merlyn & Celestine are the same person it's just her disguise when she goes out.

For: @kirbyoctournament

Character Overview/Personality: She's the combination of Merlin from Disney's Sword & the Stone, Queen Eclipsa from SVTFW, Willy Wonka from (Wonka 2023 ), and Merlin from (the 2008 TV series).

She's an optimist... many of her peers mistake it for being naivety but in reality she's well aware of the darkness in the world... she sees it every day with her powers. Since seeing so many terrible things in the future she treasures the present and is always grateful for the things she enjoys in the now. (Also there's another reason for this....)

And finds the joy in the darkest of times...

She likes to be overly prepared... And tend to keep (*hoard) things they might need... Often tends to hold things she doesn't really need. With Arthus side eying her "You really need to keep that."

"Don't look at me like that Wart... WE MAY NEED THIS HARPOON ONE DAY WHO KNOWS & YOU'LL THANK ME LATER !" *proceeds to carry bloody harpoon home... with Arthur facepalming himself*

They actually did end up using that harpoon 3 months later & Celestine rubbed it in Arthur's face for an entire week. This constant hoarding led her to the first iteration of the Dimensional Cape, which started as a dimensional bag to store all her stuff. (LMAO).

This brings me to Celestine's wisdom & sass: similar to Merlin (the series & Disney) is filled with cleverness & comebacks. When she's doing her diplomatic work and out and about she knows how to do it "gracefully."But when she transforms into Merlyn, she lets loose exactly how Merlin is when he becomes Dragoon. Has no filter and becomes a chaotic old man throwing shade left & right

She hates' cursing so as resulting in hilarious, nonsensical words to place them: Fiddle sticks, biscuits, sweet butter crumpets, etc ~

Her future sight has made her a very empathic person... knowing the suffering of others in her visions. Creating a very kind, caring individual who wants the best for everyone, for them to be happy.

Keep reading for extra content & lore: (Which include spoilers for KBASW so tread carefully!) Other than that please continue...

Lore related content: (If you just want a short read)

In Denial (Oldest lore)

What Kind of King's in My Blood (Background info)

Celestine is Merlyn: (Most Current lore)

And fair warning I low-key wrote a novel... but there's a special prize at the end if you read all of it. (Extended Lore)

Lady Celestine serves as a catalyst for the anime Kirby series...

Now Celestine can't predict the exact future... only show potential paths. But her powers can guide people to the outcome they want and the path that constantly changing.

Absolom made Celestine focus solely on her future vision and trained her personally... He tried to paint himself as this kind saintly father figure towards her... but in reality, wanted to monopolize her ability.

He tremendous amount of pressure on the poor girl...(Mother Gothel Style "Mother knows best) Believing the only thing that made her valuable was her future sight. And one more thing about Celestine... SHE HATED HER FUTURE VISION! She didn't just see the future... she experienced it! Feeling all the raw emotions of the scene.

However, Absolum would guilt-trip her: "Oh you don't want to let everyone down... you're the only one who can do this... you're so special... you can't disappoint everyone..:

Causing her to grit her teeth and bear with it... Absolum was like a father to her she couldn't say "No." Plus it's not like she could let them down... One day she had a terrible vision foreshadowing the demise of Shiver Star...

The people of Shiver Star were infected by Dark Matter's essence... Nightmare & his demons robbed them and stole all the planet's resources... while the people were possessed and had their life sources absorbed by Dark Matter.

Celestine immediately ran to the other Heroes of Yore & Absolum.... for this and assured the worried child they'd take care of this... "don't worry we'll use this information and take care of it."

And they didn't just take care of it... THEY MADE IT WORSE! Seeing an even more terrible vision appeared before her.

Celestine: Wait I thought you said you'd-

Absolum: Oh but my child we did you said that planet was a goner anyway... they were already possessed.... it would be so wasteful if all those resources would fall to Nightmare...

Sir Uther: We cleared out the planet before Nightmare did. And killed all of those who were going to be infected & spread it throughout the galaxy... we prevented the problem before it even happened...*gives a wicked smile*

Absolum: Yes we couldn't have done it without you *gives a wicked smile*

Celestine couldn't help but blame herself for the downfall of Shiver Star... A few hours later Celestine's warpstar cracked-

"No problem... I think," Absolum

To remedy the situation, Absolum tried to fame concern for her but in reality was keeping her in the temple to hide that she was "broken." She could still tell fortunes just at random, they just had to keep her near the temple and store them whenever they came to her.

Absolum was still reeling at how could this happen... he didn't want to expose his little mistake. (In truth he knew he was working too hard and put her to work earlier than most, because of her ability... CHILD LABOR AM I RIGHT?!.) It was still too valuable, they can't risk having her break some more...

Thus, Celestine became a caged bird.

Uther felt that she was a failure unbecoming of a Hero of Yore and not deserving of her title. She can no longer do the ability properly and with her body always hurting how was she going to fight on the battlefield!

Along with that thought she be too emotional anyway... always trying to steer them to the future... the least amount of damage... HE WANTED PROGRESS! Often opting for the method that would get him results not caring about the collateral damage!

Icarus shares in Uther's sentiments, with the added notion that she got away with lazying around doing nothing. Just got to sit there waiting for the next prediction to come around. He & Uther were doing all the heavy lifting and she was still being treasured by Absolum... (he wasn't jealous of the attention or anything...)

Thus resulting in Icarus having the brilliant idea of sticking Celestine with all the political fairs (the paperwork). Which seemed like a good idea at the time (a decision they would all come to regret).

Unbeknownst to them... they had given Celestine all the diplomatic power in the galactic court. Managing to win over the galactic council with her charm and grace. Uther had always used his power to intimidate his ideals.

However, Celestine had a softer approach and was seen as far more likable in the... (this was before the council was corrupt and this was due to Celestine's influence...) Often resulting in the members to come to her for their problems. Uther couldn't beat her in this arena... being reminded all too well this was a political battle as well.

For Icarus, you see there was a... certain deal he wanted to part take in... a deal with Halacandra. Where did the GSA partner up with and believe that he could easily impress with his inventions... with their queen?! ( Minerva Mim - Magolor's great aunt)

What happened... the king was supposed to be here whys he spent an entire month sucking up to him who was this queen...

The queen was not impressed & ended up showing technology far greater than his... for the first time, Icarus was forced to eat humble pie... "How could this have, surely this is some sort of mistake shouldn't the king be here-"

"Oh he's dead... and unlike him, I'm not to be won over by pretty words and flattery now you offend me... why would I ever want to do business with a lowlife with you!"

Madam made sure to inform the GSA they would not be doing business with them & Absolum desperately wanted to get that deal. Then Celestine volunteered to remedy the situation & suggested inviting her here.

Absolum agrees seeing there is nothing to lose, Uther believes this was just a desperate attempt to try to be useful while Icarus is excitedly waiting for her to fail.

Meeting arrives Celestine takes care of everything personally and at the end of the day. Queen Minerva is all smiles and arrives with a contract, "Alright I've changed my mind, and I'll do the deal as long as I'm working with her."

Minerva wasn't interested in Icarus' inventions but Celestine's alchemic formulas were revolutionary. And just had to have her on their team.

Absolum was shocked and relieved... (maybe this girl had more than one use after all...) and was constantly praising her. And because of her connections with Minerva... she'll need a bodyguard now when she leaves the GSA base but what the why it was worth it.

And Icarus oh how badly he wanted to be part of the mixing pot, but he had to go through Celestine. Who was more than happy to reject his proposal and experiments. (Icarus never forgave her for this.)

She was becoming too influential now ... This resulted in Icarus scheming with Uther... to get rid of her.

Thus beginning the creations of the Ancients & the Halcandrans, with Celestine & Minerva leading the helm. Alongside Dairus Drosselmeyer (Minerva's right-hand man & Daroach's great uncle)... they created many of the legendary treasures... that were now scattered about the galaxy.

(These were kept secret from the GSA... Minerva knew the truth of the situation... for you see during the meeting she had hidden away Kirby's prediction not of him just defeating Nightmare, but the reawakening of Void Termina & Doomsday... and showed it to the Queen and she understood... that's the other reason why she said yes to her)

Minerva helps Celestine create the Kabu's across the galaxy and presents them as "safe houses for star warriors" but in reality, they were all preset guides to Kirby's prophecy.

And helped her create Triple Star... Thus the creating the vigilante Merlyn.... Her work as Merlyn didn't go unnoticed and the people of the galaxy started to recognize the hypocrisy of the GSA. Which made the Ancients & the other's blood boil.

This resulted in having Uther send in his send three of his best soldiers: Sir Nonsurat, Dame Morgan, and last but not least (you guessed it WART... I mean Sir Arthur.)

Kirby's prophecy spoke of "a match" to start the spark that would flame of a new era of peace...

Arthur- Match/ Meta Knight - Spark/Kirby - Flame

At the time she didn't know who it was; the prophecy was incredibly vague with which one it was. But she wasn't going to pass her knowledge to any of them without being sure. (She didn't want another Shiver Star incident to happen... not again...)

But know would she determine which one it would be... they all seemed the most unlikely candidates as "the match." How could she weed out which one... A TRAIL, A TEST, A GAME!

So like in tales of old, Celestine did these little tests of character... and would secretly tag along during missions. Giving them all a chance to see which one it would participate in... Giving them little riddles of the monster Nightmare would do. But she always gave them a choice... (bread crumbing) can't face anyone to change.

However, three of them all seem annoyed at this except for... Sir Arthur was the only one captivated and interested. It takes a while for Arthur to accept Merlyn's but only after the events of:

What Kind of King is in My Blood:

That makes him actively ask for Merlyn (Celestine to help him change) and pretty much becomes Celestine's partner in crime. And as to become a willing student... merely wishing not to become like his master (Sir Uther).

However, their little sparring match still happening, with the condition that he should win... Merlyn's not allowed to be called him Wart... (Needless to say she fought him twice as hard.)

(This post-Celestine is Merlyn:) It goes into more detail about their relationship here but... I added a few things.

Romantic feelings only start after that...

Basically, before they knew they were head-over-heals for each other their love could never be in reality. Not just because of their positions but something else...

After her warpstar broke... she received a terrible vision of her body eventually breaking and her disappearing into star dust. Foreseeing her early death...

She had initially accepted but after all the friends she made (and falling in love with Arthur) she did everything she could to stay longer for them... Celestine tried to keep herself together as long as she could, and managed to keep herself alive a little longer (than she was supposed to) but now she could feel it... she was running out of time.

How was she supposed to tell her everyone... Minerva would be devastated, who was going to help Darius (& Minerva) with his creations, who would protect her followers, and stop Uther & Icarus from making the galaxy into a wasteland...

And worst of all she'd leave Arthur all alone & heartbroken. Who's supposed to tease him now, make sure he doesn't do anything reckless, keep that ego in check, make sure he isn't a prat, to remind him to smile and enjoy life... to laugh... oh her poor little Wart...

No there must be another way...she couldn't tell any of her friends... she wasn't giving up yet... However, little did she know that was the least of her worries...

Celestine was always careful with hiding her connections with her alter-ego... and Arthur, but there was one person who did figure this out. Sir Nonsurat; after Arthur had saved "Merlyn" from his grasp he started to see a pattern.

Arthur had been an accomplice to Merlyn's along... "HOW DARE ARTHUR, I KNEW YOU NEVER DESERVED YOUR POSITION AND WITH THIS YOU WILL BE RUINED FOR SURE."

Thus, Celestine received numerous horrible visions (she got them all at once)... of Arthur being found guilty in a trial. And at the end of each, Arthur had refused to sell her out, remaining loyal to her, confessing his love for her, and dying. And then she saw her demise as well... her body finally breaking right after... poofing into stardust.

Being completely overwhelmed, she burst into tears. Desperately searching for a future where they could both live... (a future where she could be happy with him.) However, it was either that she & Arthur had escaped and her body would explode and Arthur would be captured (by the GSA) and executed right after for his desertion).

Celestine couldn't help but believe that she had destroyed Arthur's future all because she had gotten involved... (it was Shiver Star all over again.) Just like in the other futures... what could she possibly do...

Perhaps...she could solve one problem with another...

So, before the day Nonsurat was going to turn in his report of evidence... Celestine had stolen it away. And with the help of Darius, they manipulated the information to frame someone else...

Nonsurat was infuriated once he found his evidence to be stolen... But he didn't want to cause an uproar, so he demanded a completed search of every squadron. Under the pretext "there is a traitor among us, and they've stolen my documents..."

A complete search required every general to be accounted for. Nonsurat observed Arthur carefully only to find him especially giddy!?

Arthur: I do hope the search is finished soon... The sooner we finish here the sooner I can give Celestine this-

Kit Cosmo: Code red! Everyone needs to come to the Courtyard immediately! Were under attack!

Arthur: By who?!

Kit Cosmo: By... Lady Celestine...

(She had already known Icarus was trying to take her down... so using her Nonsurat's evidence, she had successfully framed herself... handing it in in the guise of one of Icarus' informants.)

With the information he had put together and received, Sir Icarus concocted a false trail that Celestine was leaking information and was secretly in cahoots... with Merlyn.

Since it was a trial that involved someone as high-ranking as her... she knew the trial would exclude a select few. And since she knew Nonsurat would warrant a search... she knew it would be the perfect thing to keep Arthur out of the trail.

Celestine: Well, if I am going to get locked away... I might as well make it worth the sentencing.

It was at this moment that Celestine unleashed her demonic owl (she had hidden away) and bit off his head Absolum; killing him instantly. (Madoka Magica style). Icarus tried to stop her but failed Celestine resulting in his wings being ripped off. And officially went on a rampage letting out all those years of unbridled rage & sorrow she had kept in.

Then she remembered quickly about Kirby's prediction... quickly she created her own army of Hydro Clones... to leave them all at bay.

She went into her lab and quarters and destroyed every piece of magical research and Alchemic formula. She wasn't going to let them benefit & use her research any longer and most importantly to keep Kirby's predictions... but one person who managed to get through the army... it was none other than Uther.

Uther: I always knew you were a little witch~

Celestine: That was a sham trial & you know it ... You forced my hand

Uther: You should; 've stayed in your place, someone weak as you, you are not worthy of your spot as a Hero of Yore-

Celestine: Well you are not worthy of your spot as leader! You never were and one day you'll fall you'll see *at that moment Celestine received another vision-*

At that moment Uther thought this was the perfect chance to lung at her but this backfired... he accidentally ended up seeing Celestine's vision too... And it visibly shook him to his core.

Being overwhelmed by the very visions that plague Celestine, (claiming before she was emotionally weak, was causing him to be paralyzed by fear...) It was a vision of his throne crumbling down& everything he built and it was being led by one astral... he couldn't make out the face... was... was it pink...

Celestine tried to pull away so he couldn't see the rest of the vision... and ended up striking his right eye to stop him... Uther was left frozen while Celestine could feel her body about to break and desperately made her escape... But as she stormed out...

Uther: Will make sure you're vision will not come to pass I will find that pink warrior if it's the last thing I do... And I'll- you'll die by my blade gah- *Still paralyzed because of the vision & couldn't get up

Celestine: Sorry Uther... but I'm afraid that honor won't go to you...*runs out to find Arthur* I've already selected my champion...

In the commotion, Arthur manages to find her, desperate he reaches, Celestine:

Arthur: We have to... you need to run-

Celestine: Graduation time Wart *sees a cast of other soldiers & on-looker watching* - Let's see what you're made of! Just treat it as one of our sparring matches and we'll be fine-

After all the losses in their sparing matches, Arthur finally manages to beat Celestine... "Well done, Arthur- you've finally done it, you've w-" * Visibly starts to break... and falls- and Arthur catches her

(Celestine pulls up a smokescreen so no one can see them... however, three people manage to sneak in)

Arthur: Celestine, what's happening to you-

Celestine: I've come to the end of my time- due to my condition my body was bound to break... I didn't mean to hide it... I really thought I could beat the odds... I'm sorry War- Oh I guess I can't call you Wart-

Arthur: NO! If that's the case you weren't in the best condition- *starts crying* I didn't really win-, you have to stay *sobs profusely* You have to stay and call me Wa-Wart!

Celestine: Figures *chuckles...* it takes you this long to finally admit you like the nickname ... Thank you Arthur you made my life short all the worthwhile... I hope you can forgive me

Arthur: There's nothing to forgive Cel- Celty, *cries* I love you, please there is always something... There's always, you told me that... You're the greatest mage in the galaxy... there's got to be...

Celestine: I surely hope that light of you doesn't get snuffed out *smiles warmly* it's going to be hard Wart but remember this...

Keep your eyes open and beware of the bad in the world... but also hold on to the good as well... you don't have to look, just know that it's there... it'll keep you from falling...

(the quote that Meta Knight said to Kirby originally came from Sir Arthur... that was told to me from Celestine...)

And even should you lose your way I know you'll find it again... you'll always be a worthy king to me. I love you too Arthur... and I always will.... (*they share one passionate kiss*)

It was an Arthur had so longed for, but it was lace with so much sorrow and joy all at the same time....

Arthur: I don't wanna let you go-* Gets knocked out by Minerva...

She had informed Minerva before the trial (and of course was devastated but was willing to fulfill her last request). And who stood behind her were Darius & Kit the only three witnesses to what really happened. Kit realizes that Celestine is Merlyn... She then handed off and knocked out Arthur to Darius & Kit Cosmo.

And made sure they promised to paint Arthur as the hero who defeated her. And fled the scene and Minerva went to her best friend and hugged her one last time... and fled with the others.

When they had all left to safety... she lifted the smoke screen only to see a hoard of Ancients led by Uther try to arrest her. She flew into the air Celestine had her Gravity wicked moment... as her body finally was about to shatter into pieces.

Celestine: I curse you all, *putting one final spell cursing the Ancients* (basically she's the reason why they all disappeared)

As her body started to implode they mistook it to be a suicide bombing and she was planning to take them all down with her... thinking quick the Ancients Crystalized to prevent the explosion...

But in that moment she has one final vision of Arthur taking the seat as leader of the GSA. She smiles and says "I always you could do it Wart *starts cry* It's just too bad I'll never be able to see it in person".

Arthur woke up in the hospital wing hearing... Darius & Kit recount the story of the incident. With the way Kit & Darius spun it was Arthur who saved the day... (Arthur realized this was all part of Celestine's plan: to give him a title that would protect him even when she was gone...) Arthur * began to weep* with Kit trying to comfort him the best he could...

Making Arthur (to the Ancients) irreplaceable... being able to take down a Hero of Yore when they (Icarus & Uther) could not. Being extremely grateful (and needing a new holy figure), gave him the title of "Holy Knight," and said they owed him one favor...

(So basically he got credit for defeating the love of his life & took her place as the GSA's holy figure...)

So in summary:

Before being detained, she managed to rip off Icarus' wings, blind Uther in his right eye, and kill about 500 Ancients. She was trying to escape only to be stopped by Sir Arthur, who defeated her in battle. But tried to escape only to be cornered by the remaining soldiers... and seeing she had nowhere else to run...

Despite the efforts of the Ancients to paint her as wicked, people could not believe in the shame of a trial. Especially Minerva, when she heard this false slander on her best friend (she had enough of it)... she declared Halcandra's formal separation from the GSA. Cutting them from Halcandra's advanced technology caused an even bigger scandal. And had put her down to silence her as well... removing her...

(What happened to Darius... well that's a story for later)

Ruining their reputation even further... destroying the pristine image they had built up until now. And those who were at the trail were split in the middle... On one hand, it seemed like she had gone on a rampage because of her unfair judgment and merely reacted because she was pushed into the corner. On the other hand, she had always been hiding away her true nature & hatred for all of them, and once she had been found out... she unleashed all of it.

Were both true...

As a result, the Ancients tried to erase her from existence... from the galaxy, with only the remaining Ancients & the Heroes of Yore remembering her... Celestine had become forgotten.` Basically, she was described as (by the Ancients) the unspeakable third who tried to destroy them all & maliciously take them down with her. And she had to be erased...

However, this did not remedy the situation... Uther was still haunted by Celestine's vision he must hunt down the pink warrior... he will not have his reign end. Icarus was all too happy to take over the Halcandra projects... however, was always constantly reminded of being reduced to flightless astral and still hates her to this day.

While everyone had forgotten Celestine: they all remembered Merlyn. But even though, "Merlyn" had become a legend, many doubted the actual existence... of this supernatural being.

However, there was one person who managed to remember her... and that's where her story ends...

Or maybe not...

Her crystallization saved her preventing her from exploding... So she was still alive in there. They tried to hide her crystal in a cave and seal it off so no one would find her... Little did they know that the cave held one of the dark portals of Morpho accidentally ending up in the underworld...

And guess who ends up accidentally winds up there.

BTW they got married in the Underworld

I actually planned this out to be a tragedy, but I ended up making them have a happy ending... (that I can't reveal just yet how it happens in the story)

BUT BEST BELIEVE OUR GIRL GETS EVERYTHING SHE DESERVES AND SITS ON THE THRONE WITH HER KING WHERE SHE BELONGS!

And if you read this long thank you for reading! <3

#kirby #kbasw #lady celestine #kirby oc tournament #sir arthur kirby #kirby oc #kirbyoctournament #sorry for taking so long #home I'm not too late #celarthur #merthur

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leupagus · 14 days

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Selyse is not a "who's this bitch" kind of person but honestly, she should be forgiven for meeting Sansa like this and going "who's this bitch"

Just then there was a call from outside the tent, asking for the king. Davos opened the flap and a young solder ducked inside, bowing low to the king first, then to Lady Melisandre, then to Selyse. "Your Grace," he said, "riders were just spotted on the pass below, making their way up to our camp."

"Spotted on the pass?" snorted Davos. "Are they riding snow bears? Or elks?"

As though in answer, an horn sounded in the distance. The king started, his expression as queer as any Selyse had seen on his face in their near twenty years of marriage. It seemed almost...hopeful. "That call," he said, as though to himself.

Davos shook his head. "I don't recognize it, Your Grace. Do you?"

"Oh, yes," said Stannis softly. "I remember it very well."

The party climbing up the pass was small — a hundred men at most — in two long rows, the banners of all of Stark's promised houses unfurled. They were mounted on the great lumbering beasts that passed for horses in the North. In the pearl-grey of dawn, Selyse could see the front pair dragging behind them a curious leather-and plate device. It was shaped for all the world like the prow of a ship and it cut through the snow with ease. The party moved only slightly slower than a full canter; even as she watched, the two horses affixed to the contraption slowed and stopped, their riders giving them full rein to blow out great puffs of air into the snow. The whole party halted in an orderly queue behind them, and the two mounted soldiers directly behind circled round to unhook the lead pair (without bothering to dismount) and attaching their own horses. The party then resumed its swift pace up the mountain pass. The two who had been in the lead rejoined smoothly at the end, where the snow been packed down to a tidy path.

"Ingenious," remarked Davos. Lady Melisandre said nothing, only quirked an eyebrow. Shireen asked some imbecilic question about something, and the king made a patient response.

"Perhaps these men of the North will bring you the miracle you seek, Your Grace," said Lady Melisandre, as the riders at last drew level.

"Certainly they seem to have performed the miracle of moving in this snow," Stannis observed.

Most of the riders remained at the foot of the camp, but a small group began to make their way toward them, their behemoth horses even more ridiculous as they drew closer, with their hoofs near as wide as platters and their tails cut short as a broomstick. As they halted before their king, the riders dismounted. Despite the bitter cold, not one of them showed any sign of discomfort, their thick boots and cloaks making them appear almost as outsized as their horses.

The king took a breath, as if to ask for their leader, when a hooded figure on a great chestnut beast came out from the midst of them. Her cloak and skirts were dirty from the road and snows, her copper-bright hair in a simple peasant's braid as she pushed back her hood. A half-dozen young men surged forward to hand her from her horse, but it was a giantess in armor who helped her down and followed closely behind as she approached them.

It took Selyse a long moment to realize who the girl was: Sansa, Catelyn's eldest daughter. (Eldest child, now that the usurper Robb Stark was dead — and Catelyn too, and Lord Stark before them.) She had more of her mother's look to her than her father's, which must have pleased the Imp when he married her; Tyrion had always liked his whores pretty and clever. There was something in the way that she carried herself, however, that made Selyse suspect Sansa might be rather too clever.

The girl made no move to bow to the king, merely drew within a length as her retinue fanned out behind her. "Your Grace," she greeted Stannis. At least she had the good sense to recognize her rightful king. "I am Lady Sansa, of House Stark."

"Lady Stark," the king replied, or began to, because at that moment the damned direwolf, that unnatural creature the Lord Commander had foisted upon them, came hurtling in from wherever the devils he'd been and lunged for the girl, sending her sprawling to the ground with a scream more chilling than Shireen's, horrifyingly cut off as she—

As she laughed, the creature licking frantically at her face with its great tail wagging. The girl brought her arms around its monstrous neck and hugged it closer to her, burying her face in its fur, unconcerned entirely by the spectacle. Her Northern lords looked well pleased, in fact, nodding and smiling at one another in shared understanding. He'll recognize her, Jon had told Shireen when she'd asked how Ghost would know who Sansa was. The pack knows its own. It seemed the whole of the North knew.

The king's people were nearly as susceptible. Davos was smiling like a dolt and Shireen looked as though she wanted nothing more than to join in the undignified affair. Lady Melisandre, at least, showed little sign of being moved; she was watching with an air of interest but no warmth. Only the king was truly inscrutable, as he stared down at the tangle of girl and dog with another expression she had never seen before. This time, she could not guess as to what it meant.

At long last, the beast allowed Sansa Stark to rise, once again accepting help only from her giantess. "My apologies, Your Grace," she said. Her smile was broad and bright even as she wiped at a streak of mud across her nose. "But as you might guess, Stark reunions are rare these days."

#if anybody in Stannis's retinue is thinking 'who's this bitch'#let's be real: it's probably Stannis #I'm just saying #also did I spend way too much time researching into how people got through the snow in ye oldene dayes? MAYBE #and for anyone worried: Shireen's scream is from a nightmare she had SHE IS FINE #in fact spoiler alert: none of the kids die in this fic #that's right I looked at Shireen and Tommen and Myrcella and Ned Umber and Lyanna Mormont and were like: u lived bitch #game of thrones motherfuckers #got: bitches get stuff done

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gabetheunknown · 10 months

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@after-the-end-times

Ah, there it is! I saw a post like this the other day and I could not, for the life of me find it back, so I'm glad I get to share my thoughts about this after all (not that anything would've stopped me) Prepare for the essay, I never keep things short!

The Rockrose and the Thistle, is in my opinion a love song of sorts, but a different kind of love song that Extraordinary Things is, focused on the first part of it. Both songs are very similar in more ways than just recurring notes. Both songs are written in Dminor. (wheras Extraordinary Things has Minor Melodic elements that raises the 6th note to create the G major chord he plays when he sings the lyrics ‘extraordinary things’ and sings an A on top which sounds really pretty and immediately caught my ear)

The notes everyone is referring to are in the intro of Extraordinary Things, D C D E F E F G A B♭ A G A (I put it on a scale because I can and I’m a nerd. I also love the harmonies)

And it doesn’t just come back in the Rockrose and the Thistle, there’s two other songs written in Dminor in the Horror and the Wild and that is The Horror and the Wild, where the repetition of these tones are beautifully audible in Madeleine’s ‘You are the son of every dressing up box’ and Farewell Wanderlust, where they immediately accentuate that B♭ (which is the 6th note of the Dminor scale) in instrumentals. In Farewell Wanderlust they also play with more chromatic elements as they add a flat second note and a flat seven. The use of chromatic elements (half note distances) isn’t new for Joey and Madeleine and in my opinion it just adds a lot to the musicality of it all, it’s clever, it immediately catches my ear, it’s subtle things like that that make me keep coming back to their music. Rather than a melodic minor scale, Joey could’ve just added that half note distance to add a major G chord to his scale, because the use of major chords in minor scales is just chef’s kiss in my musical opinion, especially in combination with the words he sings. The notes he uses are not uncharacteristic for Joey’s music.

NOW LISTEN, I LOVE this ask because it means I can break down every aspect of what I love about Joey’s singing and what different things I love about Jaskier’s singing. Because oh my god the TALENT, to still make people go ‘wait I just found out that Joey Batey sings both in the Amazing Devil and as Jaskier in the Witcher’ to this day astonishes me and I’m never surprised when someone stumbles upon that realization. The breathiness he uses on his voice in both the Rockrose and the Thistle (and more TAD songs) and Extraordinary Things blows my mind. But there’s a difference to the way he uses it in both songs, let me try to explain. He sings with an aspirated voice (Which means to sing with a breathy voice) in The Rockrose and the Thistle, but in Extraordinary Things, it feels like sometimes he is just breathless and it’s so beautiful and small and soft and intimate, considering the words he’s singing. We, as singers at the conservatory, were taught to make our breaths as inaudible as possible, to remove as much breath from our voices as possible, when singing on record. So needless to say it is a DELIGHT to hear Joey just put his whole heart and soul into every breath he takes, he’s considerate of every syllable, the volume of his voice, the clearness or lack thereof, the shakiness of his breaths fucking kill me dead… ALSO what astonishes me the most about the difference between his TAD songs and his Jaskier songs is the change in vibrato. Jaskier uses more vibrato in his voice than Joey does in the Amazing Devil and I go INSANE about that because my teachers have always said that vibrato is a hard thing to control and requires a lot of training and he’s just out there, mending it to his will as if it is no big deal, like :-) King? I’m jealous, hello?

I’ve nothing else to say about this for now (lies) it’s already become a full on essay, so I hope this satisfies your needs for now lmao

#yike #lmao laughing at myself wtf is wrong with me #also I was almost finished typing this when I clicked on something and everything was fucking gone lol #'draft saved' lies #bitch where #I hope this answers your questions :-)#gabe replies #joey batey #madeleine hyland #the amazing devil #jaskier #the witcher #the witcher spoilers #music #gabe yells #quite a bit #extraordinary things

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piecesofeden11 · 4 months

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HAPPY NEW YEAR -Ficlet

As I sit here, spending my NYE quietly and calmly in my pjs, I was overcome with a small idea and thus give to you a small NYE snippet, written in a hast, unbetaed, probably full of mistakes but from the heart. May your New Year be whatever you want it to be. Above all, be kind to yourself <3 Much love - Eden

"Thank you, Cody, that will be all. I will make another round myself once midnight approaches. Go home and enjoy your evening."

"Thank you, Sir." Cody bowed at the waist, then cast one critical look around the stables. "I will have my phone on me at all times, should -"

"Thank you", Obi-Wan said with emphasis, then winked at his head stablemaster. "Same procedure as last year, hm?"

"Same procedure as every year, Sir."

The sound of Cody's retreating steps was soon swallowed by the low music playing in the stables. The horses were shuffling and snorting in their stalls, having just been given an extra portion of feed and so far, the occasional sound of bangs from distant rockets and other explosives did not seem to faze them much.

Obi-Wan walked along the length of the building once again, rubbing a hand along curious snouts peeking out of their boxes. Ben even left the trough to get his share of scritches behind his ears, returning the favor by gently nibbling at the shoulders of Obi-Wan's parker. Boga, on the other hand, was completely absorbed in a giant pile of hay.

Contented that, for the moment, all was well in the barn, Obi-Wan made his way back to the main house, stepping in through the mud room where he toed off his wellies, hung up his parker and cap. The mud room connected to the kitchens, where his cook was still in the process of making last minute preparations for dinner. She only nodded when his slipped through, forgoing protocol in favor of the meal. Obi-Wan appreciated it greatly.

From the kitchen, he took the backstairs up to his bedroom, rushing a little more when he took note of the time.

A quick shower and change later, he made it to the grand living room just in time to find his mother sit down in her favorite armchair by the burning fire, glancing up at him with a sternly raised eyebrow, which he ignored in favor of looking towards Anakin, whose smile widened visibly when he noticed Obi-Wan entering.

"There you are! We were making bets already, if Boga had eaten you." The young man rushed over, arms spread wide in a hug, but then stopped just short of embracing Obi-Wan, uncertainty flashing across his face. He still struggled with the social language of Obi-Wan's family.

"She made a valiant effort, but Cody was clever enough to distract her with frankly obscene amounts of hay so I was able to make a nimble escape." Obi-Wan leaned in and gently kissed Anakin's cheek, a hand coming up to squeeze the younger man's, then he quickly made his way around the room, greeting his mother, his brother Owen and sister-in-law, Miri, Ahsoka and Barriss and then his three young nieces, who were all excitedly telling him about their Christmas celebrations.

Their joyous explanations were soon interrupted by the dinner bell and they all filled over into the dining room, which was set up beautifully, flower arrangements worthy of a royal ball dominating the long table. By his side, Obi-Wan could feel Anakin hesitate for a moment as they entered the room and he quickly put a hand on the small of his back. "Darling?"

"It's just. Wow, I mean, I know this room but like, only with the two of us? And now it's like. It looks like a palace. And your whole family's here and what if I mess up? They'll hate me. I think your mother already does and -" Obi-Wan pulled Anakin towards him, holding him in a tight hug for a moment, and then kissed him squarely on the mouth, before leaning their foreheads together for a moment.

"Darling, this is just New Year's with my family. It's no audience with the King and Queen, it's not a test of any sorts. Relax, enjoy the food and just. Be yourself. You need not impress anyone."

Anakin, still looking skeptical, allowed himself to be maneuvered towards his chair, sitting on Obi-Wan's left, across from the Dowager Duchess, who gave them both an unreadable look, before turning her attention towards the food.

Obi-Wan pushed down a sigh and the focused on his own plate, determined to savor the meal and company.

"Uncle? Will you tell us the story of you and Papa almost burning down the barn that one year?", his oldest niece piped up when the main course was cleared away, making use of the distraction to escape censorship by her mother. Obi-Wan chuckled, glancing over to see Anakin and Ahsoka give him twin looks of horrified curiosity. Owen just buried his face in his hands, but his shoulders shook deceptively with laughter.

"Well, you see, dearest, when your Papa and I were much, much -"

"Much", Owen added with a grin.

"Yes, thank you. Much younger than today, we thought the stables were the perfect place for a New Year's Celebration." He had told this story so many times before, and the back and forth between himself and Owen in telling it had become a sort of performance in itself. To see new reactions to it, in Ahsoka's helpless giggles, Barriss' smile and Anakin's wide-eyed astonishment, was rather gratifying. It felt incredibly special, too, to share this piece of family trivia with them and rather fitting for the occasion, too.

"And thus we learned that hay and fondue are not exactly an ideal combination and also, that horses don't much care for melted cheese."

The tale's conclusion was met with a smattering of applause and cheers, which turned into even louder woops of joy as dessert was served. Cook really had outdone herself with an almost sinful and delicious concoction of vanilla creme and lemon cake, and a plethora of artful, edible garnishes.

"Oh, shit, that's the best pie, I mean cake, I mean dessert, I've ever had", Anakin nearly moaned after taking his first bite and then froze, his fork suspended in mid air, glancing around the table at all the faces now turned in his direction. "I mean, damn, ah, sorry, I'm. It's good, is what I wanted to say. It's really good and. Sorry, I'll be right back." "Anakin-" Before Obi-Wan could say anything else, Anakin had practically jumped from his chair and was heading out the door, all heads present swiveling to follow him. "What's pie?" one of Owen's girls piped up in the ensuing silence, breaking the spell. Obi-Wan's mother reached out to put a hand on top of his, squeezing softly. "You should go check on him. I fear we have frightened that poor boy quite too much."

Obi-Wan sighed softly, then nodded, pushing back his chair. "I will see you in the living room later."

It did not take long for him to find Anakin, thankfully, tucked away on a windowsill in Obi-Wan's bedroom, head leaned against the window, his breath fogging up the cool glass rhythmically.

When he heard Obi-Wan's steps approach, he only curled up more tightly, but made no move to bolt. "Sorry", he muttered quietly as Obi-Wan sat down beside him, glancing down at the garden below and the barn beyond that. Off in the distance, every now and then, a flower of firework flashed across the sky. "I didn't mean to curse. It was just really good food and I slipped up. I'm sorry."

"It really was fucking good food, wasn't it?" Obi-Wan said softly, smiling when Anakin looked up at him. "What?"

"You're a dick, you know that?" Anakin blew out a breath, than let his head drop onto his knees, hiding his face. "I just made myself look like an idiot in front of your entire family and you're making fun of me." Wrapping his arms around his knees, Anakin seemed to try and make himself even smaller. "You can't tell me she doesn't hate me now."

Obi-Wan hummed softly, then leaned forward to press his lips to the crown of Anakin's head. "She actually send me after you, you know. Thinks we've scared you off with our whole - " He gestured at the room, the house, the estate, unsure of how to put it all into one fitting world. "Fanciness?", Anakin supplied, peaking out from under his crossed arms, thankfully smiling a little again. "Or rather poshness in your words." He made an admirable effort at imitating the accent, which made both of them laugh.

"Yes, that, but you'll see, the longer the evening goes on, that we're just a regular family. We laugh, we cry, we argue, we curse, even. Heck, Owen can hold his own against the worst of sailors, trust me. A little shit is the least of our mother's worries."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. Damn, Obi-Wan. I mean, when I first came to visit, I was stunned already and kinda understood what you meant when you said you're royalty, but then it was just us and sometimes Cody and he's normal and Kit and Aayla and Quinlan, who, by the way, is the least fancy person I can imagine, but tonight I've come to realize that - that - fuck. You really are royal. You're like, actually a prince or something and I'm just - just-"

"Two-times Olympic Gold Medalist Anakin Skywalker. And, more importantly, you're the man I am quite madly in love with and that is really so much more than titles and estates and poshness. I love you, Anakin. In fact, I love you so much, I was hoping to ask you something tonight. Originally, I wanted to do that in front of everyone, after dessert but -" Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment, as Anakin's eyes widened, shocked. "Perhaps this is the far better place."

"Obi-Wan?"

"I had a whole speech prepared and everything, but come to think of it, that's not very us, is it? We've always been about spur of the moment. I hope you will not think I mean it any less."

"Obi-Wan..."

"Anakin Skywalker, will you do me the great honor of moving in with me?"

"I- what?" Anakin's eyes widened even further, his nose crinkling up in confusion. "Move - move in? Like in here? This house?"

"Well, I would also give you keys to the other properties, of course, but mainly this house, yes. Only if you want to, of course. I understand that it would be quite the big move and far from home and all your friends and come to think of it, perhaps it was a silly idea but, well-" Obi-Wan fell silent, his shoulders slumping a bit. "I miss you every day you're not close and even now, with a whole week of your vacation still ahead of us, I already dread saying goodbye and -" His explanation was lost in a fierce kiss, as Anakin surged forward to wrap himself around Obi-Wan's body, sliding into his lap and slinging his arms firmly around his neck. When they parted, both a little out of breath, Obi-Wan could not help but laugh quietly. "I take that as a yes?"

"Yes, you dick! Yes! Fuck yes. You already build me a fucking skate park, how can I say no to that? Ahsoka has been going on about wanting to move in with Barriss for a while now so they can just have the apartment now and I'll be here. With you. Always! Well, unless there's tournaments and stuff but still. Fuck, I love you, Obi-Wan, I love you so much!" In the low light of the moon from the window, Obi-Wan could see the tears in Anakin's eyes, rolling down his cheeks to get lost in his wide, beautiful smile. He leaned up to kiss them away.

"I love you, too, my darling. Now, shall we join the family again? Or - " Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder for a moment, down at the softly illuminated barn. "Let's do another round of the stables. Just to make sure that the horses are fine. And the saddle storage."

They made it back to the living room just in time for the countdown, attributing the pieces of hay found in both their hairs to the fact that Boga was particularly affectionate. As the clock sounded midnight and cheers went up around the room, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin close for a kiss and felt, for the first time in a long while, like this New Year was truly a new beginning.

#eden rambles #ficlet #star wars #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #my writing #obikin #fanfiction #my wips #half-pass and half-pipes au #olympics au

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blankdblank · 10 months

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Go Bleat Yourself

Usurper, thief, traitor. A few of the endless insults Thorin could cast your way. Before he could snap out of his sickness you had stepped forward to name yourself King Under the Mountain with his Arkenstone aloft. Naming him as your heir only to further the shove of the insult of a blade into his rib cage and give it a firm twist.

True he became just what he feared and succumbed to the sickness but sight of you atop his throne once was a loving imagining as his future intended and now he would have to kneel, not in matrimony to his Queen, but in fealty and obedience as second to this usurping King.

Fair and firm you had ruled for five months now pressing firmer than any imagined you’d dare to bend the Dwarf clans to submission and solid deals of trade and equality, what he hoped to have had your aid in acquiring at his side as partners, now he sealed the deals and finalized the contracts alongside Balin as you held the weight.

True he should have been proud the one he loved had done so much for his people and could be so formidable a contender in battle of words and twist of legal strongholds to bind such clans to these clever inescapable terms that should have him pouring endless affections and praise for his one true love. But he knew he’d failed you.

At the core of it all it was not the theft but the need you must have felt to have taken the reigns where he had failed and fallen. So now he would be obedient and toil to regain his strength in your eyes to be deserving to be chosen as your Prince Consort should you so wish one day to propose marriage to him. And to both hinder and not harm those chances for three months now he had barely spoken a word outside of the tasks assigned to him with you.

He would prove himself, no matter how long it took. Five months now everyone had learned of his slip but to his confidence already the people had seen his stride to become worthy again in their eyes that now shared the lingering hope one day he might be proposed to and they could have that aspired dual wedding and coronation for their prized leaders.

It had been written long before his birth, this numerical Kingship in which his reign would have fallen was marked to have been cut blisteringly short to just a gasp within the coronation. He was not fated to have had long to reign, but what time he could have had he hoped to have shared every moment he could with you. To have built a lifetime out of mere moments he was destined before some unknown sentence to befall him and pass his throne to you and hopefully to any heirs you might have been gifted. And now he stood open mouthed just as the swarms of Dwarves here to hear the proclamation scheduled for all the citizens now for a week, to ensure all could be here. Abdication, by means of infirmity hindering the ability to rule. He had fallen and failed you and now that fate had been dealt upon his love and to his dying day he would wear the same crown of his love cut down in his place. Perhaps as it has been joked in ages past Durins were long destined to fall and rise only to be brought down again and again. Every day he would bear this crown without you would be a kind of death all it’s own.

Radagast had stepped forward and done the duty of passing the crown over the Thorin for the stunned Dwarf Lords who bowed once you had pressed the Arkenstone into the new King’s palm and simply left him to speak to his people for the first time.

“You are ill?” The frail splintered plea for the truth escaped Thorin’s lips as he cast the unwanted crown onto your bed now littered with clothes organized to be placed within the open trunk at the clawed foot of the bed frame.

Mention of a time in the Elven Forest was given and true to your word you seemed to be ready to flee and spend what time you had left upon this earth far from Thorin and his halls. To be buried far beneath the rites and tomb of a King as you had justly earned even in such a short rule whenever the time came. Somewhere he might be forbidden to know location of to not welcome his token of honor to his greatest love in the deepest show of distrust stretching beyond the grave as well.

“That is what I have said to your people, yes.” You replied without looking up at him only urging his body to react before he could stop himself and turn you himself with hold of your arms. Gentle hold, but a hold none the less. Across your lips the most perplexing smirk when, for the first time in months his eyes were locked upon yours to face you dead on.

“What ails you? Surely there must be some course of treatment we might find for you here. The Elves are not the only ones to know old healing magic. Merely flaunt theirs about to strangers. What are your symptoms? You have seemed a little tired, yes, but there is nothing beyond my notice you could have concealing so easily.” His eyes flooded with tears and concern for answers or some way for this to not be true that he had brought this too upon you to the hasten of his words. The dragon was a harm you had knowingly chosen while this curse predestined to him was another matter all together.

“You know, there’s a culture where I come from where young girls have their stars read and those who are foretold to have husbands cut down young are married to goats.” Tears spilled down his cheeks in the confused furrow of his brows to the perplexing notion. “The goats live their lives and all die before the girls are of age to marry, now seemingly safe of their earlier fates to be widowed young.”

“What?” His voice escaped in a crackle of what it had aimed to be when what you had said fell utterly short of anything understandable to what illness you were concealing from the man you’d once spent nights whispering dreams of a future tucked securely in his arms in words of such an unshakable hope one day the both of you would achieve it. Like you had carved it into stone and no creature, even Eru, could dare to change that path you laid.

You simply bleated and stepped out of his hold to walk around him to fetch his crown you brought back to him. Every step urged his body to turn and follow where you were aimed until you raised the crown you put back atop his head. “It would seem my rule ended painfully close to my coronation, and now you are King.”

Sharp and swift his lungs filled with air as the explanation dawned upon him as you added, “Prince Legolas was kind enough to share your fate escorting us to the dungeons while you argued with his father. But I do feel after a few months away I might just make a miraculous recovery. I do expect you to write me.” Now your hands had lowered to frame the face unable to hide his tearful but adoring gaze with his hair and bead decorated braids. Down to the fur lining of his outer jacket to the pool of all his love and gratitude he bore for you into those heart stopping blue eyes your hands eased to straighten the lay of that as well.

Casually you spoke with a playful grin easing across your lips, “Frerin is planning a wedding alongside that coronation of yours, now you will have to woo me, oh grumpiest King Under the Mountain.” Widely a smile cracked across his face in the fact you did not seem fazed by his behavior of late beyond some irritation, “Three months of stubbornness, I expect a fabulous proposal as well. Just with you there it would be marvelous so not much required for to reach the task.”

“You wish to marry me?” He asked almost in a bashful tone at the lingering disbelief to the notion.

“Well I certainly wasn’t going to propose to you behaving like that,” you teased back poking him in his middle as you had done hundreds of time on the journey to this very same mountain.

A poke that seemed to hit an unseen button and have him step forward to crash his lips into yours, arms following after to bring you flush against his chest. A welcome place you burrowed for a breath stealing few minutes of you in his enamored embrace he would never break until the fingers curled to clench onto his shirts and into his beard would release to let him loose again when he’d begun to show he was ready to make all that frustration up to you. His future Queen, the former King Under the Mountain, to rule at his side until Mahal called you both back to the stone.

@devilishminx328 @theincaprincess @lilith15000 @jesevans and adding @deepestfirefun

#Thorin #Thorin x oc #Thorin x reader #King under the mountain #usurper #grumpy king #post dragon sickness #secret plot #the hobbit #lotr #go marry a goat

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geekgirles · 11 months

Text

Your Heart’s Desire

If you haven’t noticed already by my posts, I’m pretty much team Meldred when it comes to the love triangle in Unicorn: Warriors Eternal. I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’m a basic bitch; they called each other “my love” and that was enough for me to pledge my alliance to them.

Of course, given Emmelyn’s predicament, Edred’s less than ideal reactions to the conundrum, and Melinda not even remembering her own story with him, it all makes for some very interesting character interactions and dynamics. And given how we still have much to learn about their original selves and their pasts, that allows us to speculate about how they met, fell in love, and how it all evolved into the situation we’re facing now.

In light of The Heart of Kings, I have come up with a few reasons why this ship is so compelling to me, namely, why Melinda fell in love with Edred even though we are still missing her perspective in this whole situation, and how it explains (though not necessarily justifies) some of Edred’s recent actions.

To make a long story short (not like it matters, I’ll be sure to expand on this nonetheless), I would say the reason these two love each other so much is because their each other’s everything.

In Melinda’s case, I’d say the reason she fell in love with Edred is because he is probably the first person in her life since at least her mother’s death to love her unconditionally.

As we first learned in The Past Within and recently confirmed in The Heart of Kings, ever since she accidentally turned her mother into the Evil, Melinda’s relationship with Merlin has been strained. Today’s episode showed Merlin does indeed love his daughter, but he’s been blaming and reprimanding her for what happened and her perceived “lack of control and strength” since she was a little kid. And until Emma stepped in and put Merlin in his place, Melinda had clearly been carrying that burden her whole life, internalising that fault, throughout all her reincarnations. Or, as she said herself, for over a thousand years.

So while there’s clearly love there, it was far from being the kind of unconditional love one would expect from a parent.

Moreover, there’s everyone’s reaction to her. Throughout the entire episode, everyone aside from Merlin and Unicorn had referred to Melinda as either “the dark witch” or “Edred’s witch” (which I’m convinced is just a clever way to undirectly call her his bitch, given the show’s setting). Nobody calls her Melinda, not even when the flashback showed she was around when Edred ran away and in the present everyone seems to know it was her he left everything behind for. And judging by his throaway line about how everyone blames her for leaving, even though they had never returned since then...it all seems to indicate not many people had actually interacted with Melinda up to that point, even though they were all familiar with her.

This, alonside the fact that she was distant and in hiding during the wedding ceremony (which, admittedly, could be because the elves don’t like outsiders intruding upon their traditions, though, then again, they seemed perfectly fine with Unicorn once everything was resolved), seems to indicate Melinda was an outcast, probably has been her whole life as a result of her powers and dark and mysterious nature.

(This is clearly her watching Edred’s wedding, c’mon)

An outcast Edred gave everything up for.

At this point I wholeheartedly believe Melinda fell in love with Edred because he was the first person in her life who consistently placed her as his top priority. The first person who never failed to look out for her and reassure her he loved her.

Because I think we can all agree Edred’s love for Melinda has been one of his central, most consistent traits, as well as one of his most redeeming qualities. He’s been devoted to her since the very beginning.

Whereas Merlin callously brushed off her near death experience when they first battled the Evil (in the show, at least), the moment Seng confirmed she was hurt Edred rushed to her side and got angry on her behalf at her father.

Even now, even when they’re fighting the Evil or its minions, Melinda’s safety is one of his biggest concerns. Whenever she gets hurt or knocked out he is always the first to call out for her. If anything happens to her during a fight, he will immediately ask Seng to find her. And he will be worried sick for her if it seems like something’s troubling her. Except for the ship incident, whenever Melinda needs help, Edred is always there, willing to give her and ready for her to just...take it. Even if making sure she’s okay means preventing her from seeing nude statues of men, he will do anything for her without question.

Even if that anything means abandoning everything he’s ever known and breaking the unbroken line for her sake.

Melinda is everything to Edred, and that means everything to Melinda.

In a way, his loving promise as they said their goodbyes when they thought their time together was up sort of feels like a reassurance on his part. Almost like it’s not the first time he’s had to remind Melinda that his love for her cannot be changed.

And of course, this all ties back to Edred’s side of the story.

As I was saying, Edred essentially turned Melinda into his whole world when he left his kingdom and family behind for her. We don’t know if by that time Unicorn had already been formed or if on the contrary that was just the beginning and he met Melinda under completely different circumstances. But we do know this: Edred gave everything up for Melinda.

He essentially came to the conclusion that he didn’t need anything else as long as he had Melinda.

As we’ve already seen during the episode, this was in no way ethical nor logical, and directly led to a lot of trouble, but the matters of the heart rarely are logical or even ethical.

Now, with this in mind, let’s think about his actions so far during the series.

I don’t mean to justify any of them, because one of the things about Edred is that he can be equally heartwarming and charismatic as he can be flawed. So it’s important to understand his actions still had harmful consequences (hurting/alienating Emmelyn, undirectly causing the kraken that destroyed Copernicus as well as Winston’s lycanthropy...); it’s just that now we have a better understanding on why he did what he did.

Edred not only left his home, but also agreed to fighting an endless battle against a powerful Evil that has clearly endangered his life and those of his closest friends for centuries, and it all seems to indicate he did that for two reasons: for the good of the world, and for the promise of being reunited with Melinda every cycle.

But suddenly, upon his latest reincarnation he finds out the love of his life doesn’t remember him, seems to be fonder of some random human than of him, isn’t even acting like the woman he fell in love with, and might not ever return his feelings at all during that reincarnation. And, apparently, all because her host’s spirit is asserting herself over her and holding her back.

From his perspective, his desire to bring Melinda back and lack of care for Emma make perfect sense: without Melinda, he has essentially lost everything. It basically means sacrificing everything for her in their first life was pointless.

That’s why he’s so desperate to get her back, why even the smallest sign of affection from her is enough to render him flustered and as happy as a kid on Christmas Day. Because right now it’s the only thing he has to go by that his love is still there somewhere.

Edred and Melinda love each other and, dare I say, work as a couple because, alongside Seng and Copernicus, they’re the only constant each other has in a life of neverending change.

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championleonsslut · 3 months

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Got anything for a yandere Leon like headcanons or a fic?

OHOHOHO ANON THE CAN OF WORMS YOU HAVE OPENED

Yandere Leon

WARNINGS: kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, kinda nsfw, murder, manipulation. Reader is female

DONT DO THIS IN REAL LIFE ITS REALLY BAD KIDS

Leon gets what he wants. He always does eventually. He’s the champion.

And what he wants right now is you. The prettiest girl in all of Galar according to him. So sweet, so kind, so clever, so good with Pokemon.

He’s madly in love with you, even though you guys are only friends. There’s just one problem.

The boyfriend.

Leon has some competition in his way, as you’ve told him over and over again how madly in love with this man you are. Leon has to watch him kiss you and make you giggle. Disgusting! You should be in his arms, kissing his lips instead.

He draws the line when you tell who you think is a good friend that you want to give your boyfriend your virginity.

So Leon “runs” into your boyfriend in the Wild area, and challenges him to a Pokemon battle with Charizard. Your poor boyfriend… Charizard just… burned him right up! What a freak accident! Naturally Leon deposes of the body before anyone stumbles upon it. He throws it into a cave, careful to keep his fingerprints off it.

His body is found a few days later, and it’s all over the news. You come running into Leon’s arms, crying your pretty little eyes out. Leon pretends to be all upset and comforts you as you cry.

That’s when Leon starts the manipulation. He starts twisting your brain to see him in a better light, to maybe even fall in love with him.

And it works! From what he can tell, you have a crush on him. Finally. Now he can begin the second step of his plan.

He decks out a room in his private penthouse just for you, and breaks into your apartment that night. The house is peaceful, and you’re wearing such short shorts and such a short shirt while you sleep peacefully… how is Leon supposed to resist you?

He sees you sleeping with your mouth open, and pops a few pills in there. He helps you swallow them too, how sweet. Those will make sure you stay unconscious for the next few hours.

And once he makes sure you’re out cold, he lunges his new prize over his shoulder, and carries you out to the car to rest peacefully in the back seat.

You awake in a very strange place. You don’t remember being here. Then Leon appears, to welcome you to your new home! You put two and two together and start screaming at him for kidnapping you, but he doesn’t bat an eye. He says once you’ve calmed down and gotten used to the place, your restrictions can be lifted.

And just like that he’s gone.

Your room is nice to say the least… he made sure to decorate it to your tastes. A large king sized bed, bookshelves, a desk, a video game system, anything else that may have interested you…

And of course a massive closet filled with all sorts of clothes… but especially lingerie. The sluttiest cuts you’ve ever seen! You even spied a few sex toys in the drawers…

Leon brings you fresh food and water very often, making sure you’re well kept. You’re still mad at him for kidnapping you, but pleased he’s taking care of you so well.

You eventually ask him why, and your suspicions are confirmed.

“Oh, love. Well I couldn’t let anyone else have you, now could I? You were made for me! So I had to start keeping you here… so I could have you all to myself. We’re meant to be together, don’t you know?”

At first you reject him, and he’s disappointed, but just thinks you need more time. So he gives you more time, and manipulates you more, until you finally tell him you love him after countless nights of being denied.

That’s when you gain a bit of freedom. Now you’re allowed to walk around the entire penthouse! Leon officially starts calling you his girlfriend too, and takes your virginity on a night you chose to wear lingerie for him.

You stay happily cooped up in his apartment for about a year, while still taking good care of yourself, before he finally sets you free. He knows you won’t leave his side, and you’ll always come home, but now you can start leaving the penthouse… as long as you always come back. (Which you do!)

After being his precious little darling for a few years, he presents you with a beautiful ring one night, and asks you to be his queen. Of course you say yes, and reward him that night with the lewd pleasure he loves to get out of you.

The wedding is wonderful, and he’s so glad to finally have you as his bride. Stolen, maybe. But his nonetheless. You’re a wonderful wife to him, no matter if you stay at home or have a career of your own.

But a few years into your marriage, Leon wants a little more than just you. He wants you to bear his children. Of course you say yes! Actually, you say yes many times, as you two end up having five little babies of your own.

A girl, another girl, a boy and a girl (TWINS!) and another boy.

Your children and husband are the lights of your life, just the way Leon has always wanted it.

Becuase you belong to him.

I’m totally willing to go into heavy detail about the five children you have with Leon just fyi

#champion leon #pokemon leon #trainer leon #pokemon #champion leon x reader #pokemon leon x reader #anon ask #request #champion leon headcannons #pokemon leon headcannons #yandere

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giorno-plays-piano · 1 year

Text

Adore Adore

Part I

Pairing: king!Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: yandere-ish Steve, obsession, noncon, threats, mentions of murder and misogyny, magic.

Words: 1.3k

Summary: The King looked just as you remembered him the last time you were summoned to the court along with your father to the coronation: he seemed to emit light anywhere he went, bold and overpowering and radiant, with his perfectly golden hair and white teeth and unearthly blue eyes, and people were drawn to him like moths to the flame.

P.S. There is no description of reader's appearance, but there's a mention she has short hair.

_____________

"Our fair King is looking for a bride," your father said one evening at the dining table, dropping the words carelessly as if to delude you, reducing their importance.

The King was looking for a bride. It meant that your days - just like the days of many noble unmarried daughters in the kingdom - were now all about fitting of new dresses, honing your skills of seduction, and refining your already impeccable manners while waiting to be invited to the court. As much as you despised being paraded around like an exotic animal with your father spreading false rumors about your amazing beauty and incredible charisma, it would be more tolerable if you knew you were to be wed to a promising young man of the same social standing, with soft eyes and kind hands. But the King...

The King was young and handsome and clever and cruel. His affection was alike to Damocles' Sword hanging over your head.

But, perhaps, you didn't need to worry too much. Despite your father claiming you were the most beautiful young lady in the whole province, upon seeing you anybody could tell you were not handsome in the conventional sense. The court had far more impressive - and far more eager - ladies who would be a better match for the King. You were just a count's daughter, and although you were promised a king's random for your dowry, it wasn't colossal enough for the King.

But the invitation had been delivered to your doorstep anyway, and soon you begrudgingly left your home for the capital with your father hoping you would catch attention of some lesser noble, at least. You were of age to get married, he reminded you as he looked at your sour expression.

The King's riches hadn't impress you even when you stepped in the grandest ballroom of the royal castle where walls seemed to be made out of gold and green tourmaline. You were itching to escape the moment the King had arrived, surrounded by his royal entourage, all of them dressed too extravagantly to your taste, like a flock of peacocks. The King looked just as you remembered him the last time you were summoned to the court along with your father to the coronation: he seemed to emit light anywhere he went, bold and overpowering and radiant, with his perfectly golden hair and white teeth and unearthly blue eyes, and people were drawn to him like moths to the flame.

Underneath all this shine was nothing but a cold, cold man with a heart like a burning iron fresh from fire. They said he got it from his mother, a mere maid who bewitched the last King with her deadly charms.

But you were plain in the eyes of nobles of the court, and you wore no gold, only silver, and your hair were cut short when other daughters wore them long, in the most elaborate hair arrangements in accordance with the latest fashions. The King merely spared you a glance and moved on, surrounded by women so beautiful each of them could be a fairy queen. All of them were eager to please him for a chance to wear a golden crown, and you were not.

You were safe with your plain-looking face and the stupified expression you wore as if you were nothing but a country bumpkin. Soon you left the ballroom behind and descended down the stares into the royal gardens for a breath of fresh air - luckily, an acceptable excuse for a young lady - to get as far from the King as you could. No one would look for you since your father got carried away by the endless talk of politics and rumors circulating in the capital he would never get a hand of back in the countryside, and all the ladies you were acquainted with were busy trying to win King's affection.

Finally, you let yourself breathe, exhaling too loudly for a young lady of your standing as you stared somewhere up, at the silver stars shining high up in the midnight sky. Soon you'd be home again, in the safety of your mansion where the King would never come because he showed disdain for houses like yours, plain just like you and your face and your dress, blind to its warm, welcoming charm. What did a man like him know of true beauty?

Letting the long silver gloves slide off your hands, you took a breath, squeezing your eyes shut for a mere moment, listening to the joyful sounds coming from some other ladies who descended the stairs. Perhaps it was wise to wander further into the gardens to escape their attention.

"What do we have here?" The King's voice cut through the silence, and you felt like a wave of heat flushed through your body, the tips of your fingers burning as if you put them on the red-hot surface of the furnace. "It is a shame a beauty like you hides herself in my gardens."

Carefully, you turned around to face him, remind him of your plain looks and be free again, and you nearly succeed: the King frowned a bit at your face, his silent dissatisfaction with your appearance stinging a little.

"I wouldn't call myself a beauty with so many ladies much more refined than me present, Your Majesty", you bowed your head in respect and curtsied, hoping he would leave you alone at once.

He spoke softly, "My, that is true. But why wouldn't you compete with them in matters other than beauty? I am sure you have something else to offer."

His quiet words and suddenly gentle tone surprised you as you blinked at him, unsure, but the heat he seemed to radiate was suffocating, and you nearly choked out, "I am afraid I do not have much to offer comparing to the esteemed noble daughters of the capital, Your Majesty."

Which was particularly true to those of high standing who had no need in a wealthy wife. If the King knew your name - you very much hoped he didn't - he knew as much.

"It almost seems you do not want to compete with others at all," he mused, surprised with your honesty, and took a step closer to have a better look at your face. You despised the way he loomed over you like a tower, tall and proud. "Do you not want to become a queen? Wear a jeweled crown with great pride and sit on the golden throne on the right side of the King?"

The heat coming from him was nearly making the flush melt off your face, but your blood boiled not because of it. Anger tore through your chest like a knife, and for a second you forgot that he was the King, and you were but someone's daughter, and you said to him, keeping your eyes on his face, "No."

It took him aback, your honesty, your anger, the intensity of your voice, and then it took you aback when you remembered he was the King, and he could take offense and call you undignified and unworthy of marriage. But all for the better, you thought. As long as he didn't marry you, you could come to terms with anything even if you would have to grow old alone in your father's house, unwed and with no one to leave your wealth to.

But he didn't look at you with disdain. He didn't call you unseemly. Instead of displeasure there was something strange in King's expression, something dark and cruel and eager when he watched you with a sharp glint in his eyes as if he could bore a hole in you just by looking. And then all of a sudden his handsome face flushed and his eyes grew eager as he took your ungloved hand firmly, and the young King said, "But you will make a fine Queen, I think."

________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @melodierin @yeolliedokai @what-is-your-wish @lou-la-lou @gachawipes133 @lovelydarkdaydream @illyrianprincess @youngdreamer3214

#steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #steve rogers #yandere #captain america

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beaft · 2 years

Note

recommend some horror?

aha!! i am glad you asked (no really, i am, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be loud about my favourite genre). here is a non-exhaustive list of some of my personal favourites:

books

-the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle (retelling of lovecraft's "the horror at red hook" by a black author, i could talk about this one for hours suffice to say it's Very Good)

-pet semetary by stephen king (i have a love/hate relationship with mr king but i think this is one of his better books)

-the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson (actually, just about anything by shirley jackson, my personal favourite book by her is "we have always lived in the castle")

-beloved by toni morrison (it's not exactly horror, but i have to put it here anyway because it's too good not to)

-things we say in the dark by kirsty logan

-tell me i’m worthless by alison rumfitt

-house of leaves by mark z. danielewski (i detest this book. yes it's still one of my top favourites and no i will not be taking questions at this time.)

-my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones

-literally anything by robert aickman

movies

-pan’s labyrinth (historical fantasy-horror, visually stunning, one of my favourite movies of all time)

-lake mungo (australian found footage horror about ghosts and grief)

-the texas chain saw massacre (not as gory as the title might suggest)

-the wicker man (the original version, unless you’re in the mood to see nicolas cage at his nicolas cagiest)

-jacob’s ladder (beautiful, eerie, hallucinogenic, you will not know what’s going on for most of it and that’s honestly kind of the point)

-carrie (the sissy spacek version NOT the one with chloe moretz)

-the ritual (it's not a perfect movie but the creature design is WONDERFUL)

-alien (grr! i'm gonna getcha! i'm the alien! and so on)

-nosferatu (both versions are excellent, but i am particularly partial to the 1979 one with klaus kinski as the vampire)

-whistle and i’ll come to you (unsettling short film based on an m. r. james story)

-hereditary (this one's best if you go in blind, but i realise that’s probably difficult since a lot of it has been memed to hell and back)

-the thing (sci-fi thriller/body horror movie set on an isolated arctic research base)

-don't look now (based on a daphne du maurier short story; light on the horror but heavy on the uncanny)

-cabin in the woods (comedy-horror) okay this one is kind of a guilty pleasure for me but it does have some clever moments and it’s genuinely very fun to watch

-silent hill 2006 (another guilty pleasure, it is very much not a good movie but also i've seen it like 7 times, so.)

-ginger snaps (the close relationship between a pair of misfit sisters is tested when one of them starts going through puberty, and also incidentally becomes a werewolf. similar vibes to jennifer's body although i personally prefer this one)

-penda’s fen (startlingly ahead of its time – it’s basically a coming-of-age story about a gay teenager in rural england with a tasty slice of religious/folk horror)

-crimson peak (love letter to the "gothic melodrama" genre)

-us (i personally preferred it to get out, but they’re both amazing; i haven’t seen NOPE yet but i hope to soon!)

tv shows

-castlevania (based on the video game, vampires + religious horror, gorgeously animated, unexpectedly funny)

-the terror (true-ish story of a doomed voyage to the north-west passage) (the demon bear may or may not be historically factual) (we just don't know)

-twin peaks (idk if it counts as horror but i’m putting it here anyway. it’s not for everyone but it occupies a special place in my heart)

-in the flesh (again, not quite horror, but there are horror elements, and i am putting it here because it’s both a pleasingly original take on the zombie-apocalypse genre and a beautiful queer love story. it got cancelled halfway through its run and i will never stop being salty about it.)

-the enfield haunting (three-part tv drama) (much better than the james wan movie) (not that that’s hard)

podcasts

-the magnus archives (do not ask me about this show unless you're prepared to hear me yell about it for Ever and Ever and Ever)

-alice isn't dead (lesbian trucker searches for her missing wife amidst various spooky happenings)

-a scottish podcast (washed-up radio DJ decides to become a phony paranormal investigator to make some extra cash, but his scheme goes awry when he stumbles on a genuine paranormal event)

-i am in eskew (man attempts to leave city, is unsuccessful)

message me if you want trigger warnings or a more detailed description for any of these!

#horror tag #replies #recommendations

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liraleinil · 10 months

Text

So. I finished reading the Captive Prince trilogy in three days (just the novels, not the short stories) and I am feeling a lot of things, but mostly I'm feeling vaguely frustrated. It's hard to articulate how I feel. I enjoyed the books while I was reading them, even though some parts made me cringe. But that's not the problem.

The problem is the Lymond Chronicles by Dorothy Dunnett. I feel like at least some people who liked the Captive Prince books would love Dunnett but I've found that recommending the books rarely sticks.

If you're expecting an epic gay romance, you won't find it in Lymond. But a lot of the other elements in the Captive Prince series are there, along with great writing, a complex cast of characters, and plots and ploys abound. I don't read much historical fiction, but Dunnett was so good, it sucked me completely in, despite knowing very little of the history and setting. (Not so different from reading fantasy, really.)

Anyway! Spoiler warnings for all the Captive Prince novels and the Lymond Chronicles, though it's less explicit for the latter.

Let's get the obvious thing out of the way. My favourite book series is the Lymond Chronicles by Dorothy Dunnett, six historical fiction novels set in the 1500s, spanning from Scotland to Europe to Turkey to France, featuring a blond-haired, blue-eyed, minor Scottish nobleman known as Francis Crawford of Lymond. I'm sure other people have pointed out the similarity between the two series and the characters Laurent and Lymond and there has been analysis by people much more eloquent than me.

I started reading Captive Prince one afternoon and finished it before midnight. I went on to read Prince's Gambit simply because Laurent was acting so Lymond-like that I had to find out what he was up to. I immediately suspected he knew who Damen was from the start because that's the sort of annoying leaps of logic Lymond makes, with his cornflower blue eyes glittering with malice — that's how similar they are.

I'm not one of those people who can't enjoy a book because something like it has already been done before. I'm always looking for books that could bring me back to that same kind of excitement I found when I first read the Lymond Chronicles. One of the reasons I picked up Captive Prince was because of the comparisons made to Lymond.

It's just that I feel a bit cheated that, despite all the similarities, I don't think it would be easy to get people to read the Lymond Chronicles after getting into Captive Prince. It's too dense, too full of historical references, too many quotes in too many languages. Too clever.

Who knows whether the parallels in the two series were intentional or not. At the start of the first book, The Game of Kings, Lymond gets drunk before he goes off to rob his mother, Sybilla, and set her castle on fire. Here's part of his conversation with her. You can see why everyone around him wants to stab him. He's more loquacious than Laurent, at any rate.

Yes, he even has an older brother. Lymond goes and antagonises Richard almost immediately after this. I think that was the point where I started wondering, This is the man we're supposed to get behind? Quite the antihero, Francis Crawford of Lymond.

There are other things. They don't play the same part or advance the narrative the same way in both stories, but the fact that they are there just … I'm not even sure what to say. Imitation is the best form of flattery? There are disguises with hilarious consequences, trials where every single piece of evidence is disputed, exhilarating chases over the rooftops of Paris, whips and whipping posts, royal hunts that don't end well, ridiculous acrobatics on horses, babies of indeterminate parentage, your favourite characters ending up dead, Will Scott's mix of hero worship and wanting to strangle Lymond at the same time, and Jerott (I don't even know where we should toss Jerott).

Sometimes it's just a line, and I end up raising an eyebrow at it because it sounds so Dunnett. I'm not disparaging Pacat here; as I said earlier, I'm frustrated, because I feel more people should enjoy the Lymond Chronicles and Dunnett's writing, but they're not going to, because Dunnett was too clever and made the books too dense and witty and difficult.

If you do start The Game of Kings, though, I ask you to try to get at least to page 100 or so before giving up. That was where I decided that yes, this was definitely worth the effort.

I don't suppose I'm making much sense, but apparently I feel so strongly about this that I need to make a Tumblr post in an otherwise empty account. Go me.

PS: I liked Megan Whalen Turner's Queen's Thief series as well, though the first book is, uh, somewhat disappointing? I don't know if I had too high expectations or what. I loved the later books, though. For some reason, I still haven't read the last book in the series. I suppose I should remedy that.

#captive prince #c.s. pacat #the lymond chronicles #lymond #lymond chronicles #dorothy dunnett #books #books and reading #book recommendations

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dialovers-translations · 2 years

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD ”Urgent ★ The Vampires Ran Out of Money”

Original title: 切実に★お金がないヴァンパイアたち

Source: Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, Kishio Daisuke, Morikawa Toshiyuki & Morikubo Shoutaro

Translator’s note: This CD felt really nostalgic for some reason because it offers some quality REIJI SUFFERING HOURS. If there’s one thing which has stuck with me from the early era (HDB/MB) drama CDs, it’s that Reiji almost always got the short end of the stick, haha. While it’s no different here, I can’t help but feel like it’s kind of his own fault. For someone who prides himself over being oh-so smart, maybe it wasn’t clever to mention having savings around 11 Vampires who are clearly desperate for that sweet, sweet cash.

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Shin: Haah…

*Flip*

Shin: Damn…This is looking pretty bad…Haah…Ugh. At this rate, we’ll…

Carla: Shin. …What have you been mumbling about this whole time?

Shin: Ahー Nii-san. You see, we’ve run into some trouble you see…

Carla: Trouble? Is your heart aching because I haven’t been attempting to murder you as of late?

Shin: No. I’m definitely not complaining about that part…

Carla: Then what is it? Tell me. I might just offer you my advice.

Shin: Eh? Eeeh…But I feel like you’re not the right person to ask in this case…

Carla: Who do you think I am?

Shin: Who? I mean…The King of Founders…and my older brother.

Carla: Exactly. It is your duty to report everything to me, without hiding any details. Now, ell me.

Shin: Hm…Actuallyーー We’ve run out.

Carla: Run out of what? Be more specific.

Shin: Money! We’re all out of money!

Carla: Money?

Shin: Here, take a look at this bill. It displays all of our spendings for this month. They’re through the roof because you keep on buying things like whole legs of cured ham or weird abstract paintings behind my back!

Carla: No need to get so upset, Shin. I needed all of those things.

Shin: Necessary? I don’t believe that. I’ll give you a pass on the cured ham, but can you truly say the same about that painting which looks like a child went ham with their crayons doodled a bunch of pasta noodles on a blank canvas!?

Carla: If I deem it necessary, then it is.

Shin: Ugh…I figured you’d say that, hence why I didn’t want to bring it up. Anyway, we’ll need to come up with a way to make money.

Carla: Can’t we have the masses donate to us? Have you tried asking Mertz to hand some over?

Shin: I’ve long tried that. I’m not sure if he knows I’m trying to ask for money, but he’s been completely ignoring my messages.

Carla: Then why don’t we make it easy on ourselves and just take it from random people around these parts?

Shin: But if we choose the criminal path, we won’t be able to move freely around in the human world, will we? …Oh, right! I guess those guys would be an option!

Carla: The Sakamaki and Mukami family? If I recall correctly, Karlheinz has infiltrated this world and has been dabbling in politics alongside his connection with the Church.

Shin: Yup, exactly. I heard he’s pretty stacked. …Heh. It shouldn’t be an issue then. It’s settled then. Let’s have those guys provide us with money.

Shin gets up.

Shin: Time is money! I’ll go give them a visit right away.

Carla: I shall come with you as well.

Shin: Eh? No need to bother, really…

Carla: I cannot imagine they will simply hand over the money. If I am there as well, it should have at least somewhat of an impact. It is for the sake of my cured ham and paintings, therefore I have no other choice.

Shin: Seems like you don’t want to give those up, no matter what, Nii-san…

*TIMESKIP*

*Flip flip*

Reiji: Haahー … We’re cutting it close again this month as well. I suppose we spent a little too much. No, that’s not the problem. It’s all because of all the unnecessary repair costs we had to pay to have the manor fixed. Good grief…

Ayato: Reiji.

Reiji: The answer is no.

Ayato: But I haven’t even asked anything yet!?

Reiji: I know exactly what you’ll ask of me. I bet you’re here to pester me for cash, correct? Either way, the answer stays no. …Well, I suppose it would be more accurate to say I cannot.

Ayato: Che…You stingy Four-Eyes!

Reiji: Oh my, are you sure you can afford to throw such insults at my head? May I remind you that I am the one who monitors the money of this family?

Ayato: Che…What’s your problem!? I’m all out of money to buy takoyaki tomorrow. Can’t you lend me a lil’?

Reiji: What part of ‘no’ do you not comprehend? Or rather, I cannot give you something which I do not have.

Kanato: Reiji! Do you have a second?

Reiji: Kanato, you too…Wha!?

Laito: Nfu~ Actually, I’m here too!

Subaru: You can’t blame us, can you!?

Shuu: If you’re handing out money, I’ll take some as well.

Reiji: How do you guys think the economy works!? I gave all of you pocket money a mere three days ago, didn’t I!?

Laito: The amount you gave us wasn’t nearly enough! I went on a couple of days with some girls and poof, it’s all gone!

Kanato: Exactly. I could barely buy any sweets with it.

Subaru: It was clearly too little.

Shuu: Yes, exactly. You should just hand us the goods already. Hurry up.

Reiji: No. ーー Or rather, we’re all out of money for this month.

Ayato: Aah…!? Don’t be lyin’ to us! We know that you’re still hidin’ some!

Reiji: That would be my personal money. I’ve been setting some of my gainings aside each month and I shall not be sharing any of it with you guys, obviously.

Subaru: Haah!? Fuck off! You’re tryin’ to live the good life all by yourself, aren’t you!?

Reiji: You can try and threaten me all you want. If you want money that badly, why not ask Father for some instead of me?

Shuu: Haah…The Old Man, huh?

Ayato: …!!

Kanato: Laito. You go and ask Father for money.

Laito: Haah!? Why me!? …As my older brother, it’s your duty to do that, isn’t it?

Kanato: …!! I-I don’t want to! As if I ever could!

Subaru: Just so you know, I’m not doin’ it either!

Reiji: Well, there you have it, so why not simply give up? If you upset Father, he might just send you to Mars for real this time.

*Ding・dong*

Reiji: Hm? A visitor? Was someone coming over today?

*TIMESKIP*

Shin: …And there you have it. Now give us the money.

Reiji: You are catching me quite by surprise but…I do not see why we would need to lend you money?

Subaru: Exactly. I mean, if we could go and hand it out for free, we wouldn’t be strugglin’ so much ourselves.

Carla: What do you mean by that?

Laito: Haah…In short, our family is just as short on cash as yours is.

Ayato: Exactly! You can’t get noodles from a stone!

Kanato: Ayato, you idiot. It’s ‘soda’, not ‘noodles’. (1)

Carla: What a bunch of fools…

Shin: Honestly, I don’t care but maybe you shouldn’t be telling lies? Who do you think you’re dealing with, huh? We’re respectable Founders, remember? Do you understand that?

Reiji: They’re not lying. It’s the truth. Our current savings are non-existent. I almost want to show you our bank extracts, honestly.

Carla: Sakamaki Tougo is portrayed as a wealthy individual, is he not? It does not take a genius to figure that one out. Don’t underestimate us.

Shuu: You’re the one making a big mistake by assuming that we’re rich just because the Old Man is.

Ayato: Yeah! That Shitty Old Man…He’s makin’ that sweet, sweet cash but he won’t even share a single penny with us!

Kanato: Exactly…! I’ve heard that children from other wealthy families sometimes get up to one million yen for New Year’s. Yet we still have to do with only three thousand! Uuu…Uuuu~ (2)

Shin: …A-Are you…for real?

Subaru: Dead serious.

Carla: …!

Shin: Nii-san, what now? We’ve barked up the wrong tree. I feel like we shouldn’t expect too much from the Mukami family either at this rate…

Carla: We cannot know for sure until we ask. They were born and raised as humans, so perhaps they are skilled at saving money.

Ruki: …What is this about us?

The Mukami’s arrive to the scene.

Kou: Hey there, my fellow Vampire comrades~

Subaru: The fuck’s you guys’ problem…? Whatcha all flockin’ together here for!?

Yuma: Let’s say we’ve got a serious situation goin’ on.

Azusa: We didn’t actually want to but…Ruki said that we have no other choice but to come and ask for it all together…

Laito: Heeh~? You’re here to ask something from us? How unusual.

Ruki: Kou had the glorious idea to burn through our family’s entire budget.

Kou: I didn’t have any ill will! There just so happened to be a couple of things I really wanted…Whoopsie~

Yuma: ‘Whoopsie’, my ass! Ya better don’t believe that’ll get ya away with it!

Reiji: …! Don’t tell me…You guys are having money issues as well?

Ruki: ‘As well’, you say? Don’t tell me…Are the two Tsukinami’s here to beg you for money as well?

Carla: Do not put it in such a vulgar way. We are Founders. In other words, you Vampires are obligated to submit to us. We came here to have you bow down to us and offer everything you have.

Azusa: So in other words…You’re trying to blackmail them?

Shin: We’re not! We’ve already made our point!

Ruki: Who cares about that. Reiji. You get the gist of the situation now so…Would you be so kind to share some money with us?

Reiji: Good grief…As I already explained to the two gentlemen over there earlier, I am afraid that we cannot offer something we do not have.

Ruki: You don’t? Is that true? Don’t you guys get showered in money by Karlheinz-sama?

Ayato: No way.

Laito: I guess you could say it’s part of his educational approach, but he believes that children should learn how to be mindful with money. (3)

Shin: Nii-san, what are we gonna do now? Seems like the Mukami’s are all out of money too.

Carla: …

Yuma: Ahー Guess we’ve got no other no other choice but to work, huh?

Reiji: Exactly. If we get a daytime job, we should be able to save up enough money to get through our everyday lives. Speaking of which…Kou, you have a job, don’t you?

Shuu: Now that you mention it. You’re an idol, aren’t you?

Carla: An idol…Which means you’re actually fairly rich?

Kou: J-Just so we’re all on the same page on this, but like what was mentioned, I blew through all my money so I no longer have anything!

Subaru: Smells fishy to me. I bet this guy is actually loaded on cash despite what he’s sayin’.

Kou: S-Subaru-kun! Don’t put weird ideas into everyone’s head! Besides, if I did have secret savings, I would have long revealed them! It’s pure humiliation to have to bow our heads to you guys like this!

Ayato: Which means we’ve really got no other choice but to work, huh?

Kanato: I’m against the idea! Not in a million years will I work!

Shin: You say that but you’ve got no other choice, do you? We’ll wait, so you guys hurry up and go make us some money through working, okay?

Subaru: Ah? I think you’re gettin’ the wrong idea here. Even if we do earn some money through workin’, we’re not gonna lend it to you fuckers.

Carla: Like I previously stated, it is your duty to hand over your money to us.

Ayato: Idiot! Like we give a damn ‘bout that!

Carla gets upset.

Ayato: …Y-You don’t have to get that angry, do you?

Carla: You fiend…Try repeating yourself one more time. What was that you said just now?

Ayato: W-Well…

Shin: …!! A-Ayato! Take your statement back right now! Or do you want this manor to get blown to bits!?

Reiji: Blown to bits!? Excuse me, Ayato! Do you have any idea how much it’ll cost to have the manor rebuilt from scratch!? Apologize at once!

Ayato: Ugh…My bad…

Carla: …Oh well, I suppose I can let it slide. In return, come and bring us the money at once. Do you understand?

Shuu: Good grief…This is what we have to deal with, huh? So, what are we gonna do now? Just so you don’t, I don’t want to work.

Subaru: I’m not workin’ either.

Laito: I mean, me neither but what are we gonna do about our money issues?

Kanato: Can’t Reiji just hand over his savings?

Reiji: I figured you’d say that. However, like I mentioned earlieーー

Ruki: If you have any savings left, give them to us.

Yuma: Anyway, why would ya first claim to be all out when you’ve actually got some savings put aside? If ya the money to us, it’ll solve all problems.

Kou: Ahー Geez, I actually was seriously worried for nothing.£

Azusa: Hey, Reiji-san…You’ll give us the money, right?

Everyone stares at Reiji intensely

Reiji: …!? Excuse me…? Why are you staring at me like that!? …Let me inform you just in case, but trying to force me to pay will not work. I will not give in to your threats.

Carla: Then we simply do not resort to coercion, correctly? All we need to do is make it so you will gladly hand us the money.

Ruki: I see. I suppose we have that option. What a genius idea.

Reiji: D-Do not be ridiculous! What on earth makes you believe I will want to do that?

Shin: I wonder? We won’t know until you try, right?

Reiji: …W-What are you planning to do!?

*Rustle*

Shuu: …Reiji, let me give you a shoulder massage.

Reiji: …!?

Shuu: Don’t be modest now.

Ayato: Reiji! I’ll feed you this takoyaki I’ve got over here! Come on, open wide! ‘Aaahn!’

Reiji: …N-No thank you!

Kou: Hmm~ In that case, I rarely ever give someone such a treat but I’ll perform the currently number-one popular idol song live for you!

Reiji: No, no, no! Please don’t sing!

Yuma: Geez…Ya give me no other choice. Ya can have as many of the summer vegetables from my field as ya want. Totally free!

Reiji: That does sound tempting…No, no, if anything, you should sell those vegetables to make money yourself.

Yuma: Nah, I’ll only get some small change for it.

Ruki: Then how does this sound? I shall cook for you using Yuma’s vegetables.

Reiji: I prefer cooking myself rather than eating!

Laito: Then how about this? I’ll wash your back for you~!

Reiji: Please don’t even suggest something so creepy! …Ah, god!

*Thud*

Reiji: You guys can say whatever you want, but I’m not giving you any of my savings! End of the story!

Kanato: E-Excuse me!? Where are you going!?

Reiji: Away from you lot.

Azusa: No…You can’t.

Reiji: Mukami Azusa…Move aside at once.

Azusa: No, I won’t move. Hey…Please listen to my request? If you do, you can hit me all you want. Okay?

Reiji: Wha…!? Y-Your request…? I bet you also want to ask for money, correct? Besides, I fail to see what I would gain from this deal. Isn’t getting hit basically your hobby?

Azusa: It isn’t.

Reiji: …!? Then what is it!?

Azusa: My life?

Shin: That suddenly got deep.

Reiji: Whatever. Just please step aside. Iーー

Carla puts his hand on Reiji’s shoulder.

Carla: You are not getting away.

Reiji: …!! What do you want, Carla? Get your hand off me.

Carla: I am afraid you will have to sacrifice you for the sake of my cured ham and painting collection! …Shin!

Shin: Roger~!

*Rustle*

Shin: Now behave, okay?

*Rustle*

Reiji: …!? W-What are you going to do!?

Carla: Of course, I would have loved to be able to refrain from resorting to such extreme measures. However, none of this would have happened if you would have simply given us the money right away.

Reiji: Hah?

Carla: Oi, you lot! Do not stand there spacing out but help out!

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. But I guess it can’t be helped. It’s for the greater good…I don’t want to have to give up on my CDs either.

Ayato: Yeah. …Reiji. Don’t take it personally, ‘kay?

*Thud*

Kanato: It’s for my sweets, so I’m sure you can understand, right?

*Thud*

Laito: I’ve got a couple of dates planned out already as well, so you leave me no other choice~

*Thud*

Subaru: Maybe you shouldn’t have been so stingy, huh?

*Thud*

Reiji: …!? Y-You guys…! Aren’t you embarrassed, letting those Founders order you around like that!?

Ruki: We haven’t become their loyal servants, really. We simply…Right.

*Thud*

Ruki: Share a mutual interest right now.

Reiji: …!! Ruki, even you…

Kou: Don’t worry~! We won’t hurt you…!

*Thud*

Yuma: Hehehe…Now we’re talkin’...

*Thud*

Azusa: Reiji-san…Are you ready…?

*Thud*

Reiji: …! Kuh…C-Cut it out!

Carla: It is not too late to change your mind just yet. Well then, will you give us the money?

Reiji: …Y-You’re playing it dirty! I am not the type of guy who will give in to these kinds of threats! Please do not underestimate me!

Shin: I guess our negotiations end here then.

Carla: You leave me no other choice…You lot! Do it!

Reiji: …! S-Stop…!

They all start tickling Reiji simultaneously.

Reiji: Excuse me…W-What are you…? Ahahahaha…!

Shuu: It’s your own fault for not simply giving us the money right away.

They continue tickling him.

Reiji: Wait…Stoーー...! It tickles…! Hahaha…Ahahaha…! …I can’t…! I swear…!

Subaru: Ah, damnit! Just throw in the towel already!

Reiji: My god…I really can’t…Ahahaha! …You lot! I can’t believe you’d resort to this…!

Kou: Ah~ Come on, just say you give up already~

Reiji: …Fine! I understand! Please, just stop already! I’m begging you!

Yuma: What do you mean? …Take this!

Reiji: I’ll share the money…That’s all you want from me, right!?

Carla: Good grief…Was that truly worth all the trouble? You should have simply given it to us from the very start.

Reiji: Haah, haah…I never thought it’d come to this…Good grief…You lot are unbelievable…

Shin: Well then. You better hurry up and show us the money. You don’t want a repeat of that, do you?

Reiji: Che…

Reiji goes to fetch the money.

*Rustle rustle*

*Cling*

*Clunk*

*Creaaaak*

*Rustle*

He returns.

*THUD*

Reiji: …Now you have no more complaints, correct?

Ayato: Woah! You’re stacked…! When did you save up all of this money?

Reiji: …I’ve been carefully setting some money aside each time, while all of you were too busy spending it recklessly. Good grief. This is horrible. It’s always the honest people who get the short end of the stick.

…Oh well, I suppose it’s fine. I suppose you are all in debt with me right now, so please, go ahead and use this money as you see fit.

Shuu: Is that sarcasm I smell there? …Oh well, guess I’ll borrow some.

Carla: …!

*Smack*

Shuu: Ah…

Carla: Who gave you permission to take some of that money?

Shuu: What do you mean?

Shin: This amount of money will barely even cut it to buy Nii-san’s cured ham, so we’ll be taking all of it.

Ruki: Excuse me?

Carla: If you have a problem with that, I shall gladly be your opponent.

Ayato: Haah!?

Subaru: So you wanna throw fists, huh!?

Ruki: Yuma. It’s time for plan B.

Yuma: Roger! …Oi, Azusa.

Azusa: Mmh. I know.

*Rustle*

Azusa: Carla-san. Shin-san. We won’t let you do with that money as you please. Well then, Kou, Yuma, Ruki…Hurry up and take the money!

Azusa becomes a shield for them.

*Rustle*

Shin: E-Excuse me…!? What are you doing?

*Rustle*

Ruki: My bad, but we’re taking this cash.

Carla: Che. Seems like you four do not value your own life.

*BZZZZT*

Azusa takes the hit.

Azusa: …Ugh! Uu…Haah, haah…

Carla: Excuse me!? He withstood my attack…!?

Ruki: My bad, Azusa! We’ll see each other at the meeting place later!

Kou: Don’t push yourself too much, okay, Azusa-kun!?

Yuma: See ya!

The other three Mukami’s run away.

Azusa: Don’t…worry…I love…the pain after all…Haah…~ …Come on, Carla-san. More…! Fire more of those at me…!!

Carla: …!!

Kanato: …H-Hold up!! The money…!! They took all of it with them!

Reiji: …Come again!? When did they…!? I didn’t notice because I was too busy looking at Carla.

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. Why did it turn out like this? Don’t you think it’s because you guys were trying to be too greedy?

Carla: Hmph! That money was mine from the very start, so this isn’t an issue of being greedy or not.

Ayato: It’s a lost case. There’s no talkin’ with this dude.

Carla: Oi, Shin! Chase after them!

Shin: Yeah, yeah, I know. Or rather, if you would simply give up on your cured ham and those weird paintings, we wouldn’t even need money…

Azusa attempts to stop him.

*Thud*

Azusa: Wait, Shin-san! You have to defeat me first…!

Shin: Ah, god! You better stay away from me, you freaky masochist!

Shin runs away.

Laito: Hey, what are we gonna do now?

Kanato: I’m exhausted…I’ll simply content myself with the sweets I still have in the cupboard. I can’t picture myself chasing after them.

Laito: Right? When I think about it…It’s not like I’m that desperate to go on a date with girls other than Bitch-chan.

Ayato: Me too. I can just have Chichinashi make me free takoyaki instead, right?

Shuu: Haah…I guess it’s obvious the same goes for me. Pwaah…I’m sleepy.

*Thud*

Subaru: Damnit…! The fuck’s this shit…

Ayato: By the way, Subaru…Why did you even want money to begin with?

Subaru: W-Well…You know…I figured I’d upgrade my coffin a lil’ here and there…

Reiji: Good grief…I suppose your situations weren’t nearly as pressing as the Mukami family’s. Haah…Oh well. You lot try to abstain from your luxuries for once, understood? …Oh.

Carla: …

Reiji: You are still here?

Carla: Hmph. You have some nerve to say that, you commoner. I shall stay here until Shin returns.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Good grief, you truly are unbelievable…Why not simply give up on your cured ham and painting collection?

Carla: I shall give up on the latter. I could never buy them with that little money anyway.

Reiji: Hmph. But it seems that the cured ham is something you cannot give up?

Carla: It is my favorite food after all.

Reiji: Ahー Well…If that’s the case, I suppose you really need the money just as badly as the Mukami family does.

Carla: Hmph.

Reiji: Ahーah…I suppose I will have to start saving up again. This time, I suppose I will not mention it to anyone and keep it my own little secret.

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) This short back-and-forth between Ayato and Kanato is all based on a language pun around the Japanese proverb: ない袖は振れない’ which literally means ‘you can’t shake a sleeve you don’t have’ and refers to being unable to give what one does not have themselves. Ayato gets things mixed up and says そば (soba / soba noodles) instead of 袖 (sode / sleeve). Kanato then promptly ‘corrects’ him by stating that it’s ソーダ (soda) instead. Of course, both of them are equally incorrect. I struggled to translate this part quite a bit, but I eventually settled with the English provide ‘you can’t get blood from a stone’ since it was the easiest to replace one noun for another in that one.

(2) ¥1,000,000 and ¥3,000 are approximately 10,000 and 30 USD respectively.

(3) Laito refers to the concept of ‘Honorable poverty’ (清貧), coined by the Japanese philosophist Suzume, who believes in the dangers of excess consumption and waste.

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