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ABIGAIL

Growing up I was a fan of schlock horror films, like Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, the usual but I also liked those bargain bin slasher flicks like Slumber Party Massacre. Cheesy gore fests, with nothing to say; or as like to refer to them “Hot Pocket: Horror”. Abigail seems to give off the same energy, so let’s talk about.

Abigail is the story of a kidnapping that goes horribly wrong, and now the crew must fight for their lives to escape the consequences of their actions.

Directing duo Tyler Gilett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin are in their element with modern horror, and this flick shows them doing what they do best, creating inducing horror.

They walked a fine line between practical effects (which is totally my jam) and digital (not so much).

Olpin’s sound direction was impressive as well, I felt every single hit and slash through the theater speakers.

The story isn’t winning any awards, but it’s what the audience is going to pay for, which is dumb fun.

Casting is solid, playing into all the horror tropes, Dan Stevens plays the douche that you desperately want to punch in the face, Kevin Durand as the lunk head, William Catlett as the ally to the final girl, and Melissa Barrera is the final girl; and this is a role that she has grown quite comfortably into.

I could listen to Giancarlo Esposito read the dictionary.

Kathryn Newton plays her go to role of the cute quirky girl, and the late Angus Cloud plays himself, which was very easy to hate.

Alisha Wier gave a chilling performance as the titular character.

Set design was fine, the center of the house where the crew is being pursued looks like something ripped straight out of Resident Evil.

Brian Tyler (also a regular collaborator with the directors) made a score that feels right at home with classic 80s slashers.

Abigail is fine yet fun, I wasn’t expecting much but at least I wasn’t disappointed.

It’s an 80s horror film with a 2020s budget and that’s okay.

If you like corny horror you won't be disappointed, pinky promise.

I give Abigail a 3 out of 5.

#horror #abigail movie #abigail 2024 #kathryn newton #melissa barrera #hollywood #movie review #giancarlo esposito #angus cloud #vampire #alisha wier

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Kung Fu Panda 4

The Kung Fu Panda series jump-kicked into the world in 2008, with 4 films in total and 2 spinoff shows the franchise is still going on strong.

And speaking of the 4th film, let’s talk about Kung Fu Panda 4.

Po (Jack Black) faces the evil (but uninspiringly named) Chameleon (Viola Davis), who seeks to gain the power of all Kung Fu, and he must team up with the streetwise fox Zhen (Awkafina) to stop her.

Fourth installments are something of a sore subject for me, I was let down by a few flicks such as Toy Story and John Wick, but I think this one may have gotten right.

This is a very well-animated film, I was in awe of the fight choreography and this is coming from someone with multiple disciplines. Every punch kick and weapon swing felt like the real deal.

But the budget must have really leaned into the animation because a few members of the cast were sorely missed. Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, and David Cross don’t return as Monkey, Tigress, Viper, Mantis and Crane. And while Dustin Hoffman and Ian McShane return, the former was barely in the film.

Jack Black is the goof ball we know and love as he drops the on Viola Davis’ Chameleon. And Awkafina worked very well as Po’s partner in kung fu.

The music was fine, the shamisen cover of Crazy Train was nothing special, but the Tenacious D cover of “Baby One More Time” was everything.

These aren’t arthouse films, so I didn’t expect Oscar-worthy dialogue so at the very least I wasn’t disappointed. But many of the jokes landed, and the lack of fat jokes was wonderful.

The movie showed Po’s overall development throughout the series and it leans into the theme of the film.

This was an earnest love letter to generations of fans, and if this is the franchise’ send-off I am satisfied.

I give Kung Fu Panda 4 a 4 out of 5.

#kung fu panda #Po #master shifu #tai lung #dragon warrior #Jack Black #James Hong #bryan cranston #movie review #hollywood #comedy #martial arts #kung fu #dustin hoffman

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Dune (part 2)

Denis Villanueve’s first entry in his adaptation of Frank Herbert’s Dune series was wildly successful as many said that it had many beats that David Lynch’s missed in his version. That said the Dune universe is vast and could never be done just with a single 2.5-hour film, so he made another 2.5-hour film that picks up where the last one left off.

Paul Atreides sets out to unite the Fremen of planet Arrakis, to wage a vengeful war against House Harkonnen.

My first thought was that I should, have rewatched part one before I jumped in on this, but I eventually caught up to speed.

The cast is filled with wall-to-wall A-listers, such as everyone’s favorite, Timothee Chalamet. To name them all with make this review as bloated as certain points of this film, but I was mesmerized by Dave Batista’s performance as Glossu Rabban Harkonnen, he gave off a strong unhinged delivery with a powerful sense of desperation.

The score is stereotypically Hans Zimmer, booming drums and bass instruments and hymn like vocal choruses. This is best experienced in IMAX, but for those who are sensitive to loud noises, headphones are heavily recommended.

Grieg Fraser’s cinematography was a sight to behold, I could have done with out the lens flare though. Some of his best shots exemplified the concept of “show don’t tell” in visual storytelling.

Speaking of visuals, the colors and costuming were nothing to sneeze at, the juxtaposition of the imperial family and court as Templar and Vatican like figures against both the hedonistic monotone colors of House Harkonen, and indigenous aesthetic of the Fremen. There were a lot muted colors, which greatly enhanced the experience of this film.

I can’t go into great detail about the story, but there was lot of book content that was shoehorned into the second act, however the finale didn’t feel like it was sequel baiting at all.

The fight scenes while not pretty, were quite impressive, both Chalamet and Austin Butler took extensive training with Kali in order to the grittiness of knife fighting, as something of a blade fighter myself this spoke to me.

Denis Villanueve has done it again; I agree with the hype behind his catalog now more than ever and I trust that the future of this universe is in good hands.

I give Dune (part 2) a 4.5 out of 5.

#movie review #hollywood #dune part two #dune part 2 #dune movie #dune #house atreides #house harkonnen #timothée chalamet #florence pugh #rebecca ferguson #dave batista #christopher walken #zendaya #josh brolin #javier bardem #austin butler #denis villeneuve #hans zimmer #the spice must flow

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Argylle

I haven’t seen a really good spy flick since the final Daniel Craig Bond film, I’m not saying that they all have to be grim dark because I’m also a huge fan of the Derek Flint movies as well. So when I went to see Argylle, I was expecting something more akin to the latter. Judging by the trailers, I wasn’t expecting criterion collection cinema, but I wasn’t prepared for this. So let’s talk about Argylle.

The story starts with Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) a novelist who is working on her fifth book in her very popular Argylle spy novel series. After meeting an actual spy Aidan (Sam Rockwell), she finds out that her works might not actually be fiction.

If you have seen, ANY spy movie in the last 30 years (god am I really that old?), you’re going to spot at least 5 cliches in Argylle.

Visually it’s got a lot of great costuming and set pieces, I loved the little details such as Alfie (the cat)’s carrying case and the general outfits of the entire cast.

The music choices were fun, I loved hearing Rasputin in the various fight scenes it created some nice contrasts.

And the fight scenes were so hype, it reminded me of films like Bullet Train.

But that leads to one of the films’ many issues, it reminded me of so many previous spy films! From the fight scenes, to other plot points that I won’t bring up because of spoilers, but trust me you will notice them!

The cast is about as safe as you can get in Hollywood. You can’t blink a miss an A-lister, with the likes of Samuel L. Jackson and Bryan Cranston. I would name the rest, but we would be here as long as the film’s runtime (which is over 2 hours).

Argylle is a nothing burger, it’s derivative and I am honestly unable to find other adjectives to describe it.

It just barely counts as art, because there was some effort put into some of it.

It’s not awful, but it’s far from great and not worth paying full price for a ticket, check it out on a matinee or wait for it to release on Apple TV.

I give Argylle a 3 out of 5.

#movie review #comedy #spy film #hollywood #henry cavill #john cena #bryce dallas howard #sam rockwell #bryan cranston #katherine mcnamara #dua lipa #ariana debose #argylle

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The Color Purple (2023)

So I’m a theater kid not just any type of theater kid though, I am the least favorite of the general public… I am a musical geek!

I am all in on this medium, whether on stage or as an audience member; so I often get super trepidatious over movie musicals, especially adaptations. So the prospect of a remake of one of the most prolific stories in Black Culture terrified me.

I can say this was definitely an experience, so let’s get into it.

The Color Purple is the tale of Celie as she navigates the 1920s as a constantly disrespected woman of color. After being separated from her beloved sister Nettie, she has to learn how to love and stand up for herself.

Something to keep in mind is that this is more of a reimagining than a full-on remake, and your mileage may vary on that statement.

The casting is a mixed bag, my favorites were Danielle Brooks as fan favorite character, Sophia; who I feel killed it. And Fantastia Barrino reprises the role of Celie from her stent on Broadway, It’s a role near and dear to her heart and you can feel the passion in her overall performance. And H.E.R. in the role of “squeak” was delightful, she convinced me of her acting chops long before this role though. Colman Domingo brought his own level of malevolence to the role of Mister and I was impressed.

And some of the casting that made me scratch my head a bit were the likes of Corey Hawkins and Taraji P. Hanson. Neither was bad by any means, but they’re just safe choices, polished and conventionally attractive.

Speaking of head scratching, I have a lot of feelings on most of the dance choreography; it doesn’t fit the era. In a time when there were dances like the Charleston and ragtime, choreographer Fatima Robinson made the questionable choice to do contemporary dance. It breaks the immersion and I could do without it.

Director Blitz the Ambassador, who also worked on Beyonce’s “Black is King” is a master at visual storyteller, I found myself astounded by set pieces and the camerawork. I would be saddened if it didn’t receive some sort of award.

Composer Kris Bowers created some amazing music for the score, more befitting of the era than the dancing. However, the movie tries too hard to fit as many songs from the show in as possible and this works to the film's detriment at certain points. Songs like “God is trying to tell you something,” are whittled down for the sake of more elaborate numbers.

The movie is a mixed bag, I enjoyed certain aspects but a lot of it falls flat. The acting and vocal performances are solid and I couldn’t get enough of either, but I stand my view of the film’s negatives.

When it comes to musical theater to movie reimagminings , less is more and this movie added a little bit too much to the plate.

I give the Color Purple a 3 out of 5.

#hollywood #movie review #warner bros #warner discovery #the color purple #celie harris #fantasia barrino #taraji p. henson #danielle brooks #H.E.R. #corey hawkins #blitz the ambassador #musical theatre #colman domingo

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Wonka

Cynicism: a belief that ideas are motivated purely by self-interest; this was my thought process going to the origin story of Willy Wonka. I have more than my fair share of soulless cash grab backstories long before starting my career as a film critic, so I came in to this with a heavy amount of skepticism.

After seeing the first trailer I groaned in a manner similar to an allergic reaction, I came into this movie prepared to be underwhelmed. Funny thing about expectations, sometimes they surprise you.

Wonka is the origin story of the future enigmatic candy mogul, Willy Wonka; he travels to the legendary Gourmet Gallery with only is suitcase and his dreams of making the world’s greatest chocolate in his very own shop.

This movie was a much needed shot of serotonin, and I don’t use that statement lightly.

I guess I should get the negatives out of the way first, because they were few but absolutely need to be pointed out.

I can’t stand the “white savior” trope, and there is a subplot where it’s used and I could have done without it.

Timothee’ Chalamet, is an amazing actor as the title character, but he’s a milquetoast singer. With the exception of “Pure Imagination” I was not impressed by the songs that he led.

His more emotional scenes felt disingenuous at times, the performance while trying to combine the energy of Johnny Depp and the late great Gene Wilder, leaned more towards the former which was a disservice to the character.

All that aside, everyone in this cast gave entertaining performances regardless of my complaints.

Chalamet’s Wonka performance while somewhat derivative was overall delightful, adding a level of charm and whimsy that the character is known for throughout every incarnation.

Hugh Grant brought his dry salty wit as Lofty the Oompah Loompah.

The trio of Patterson Joseph, Matt Lucas and Matthew Bayton were hilarious as the bumbling trio of antagonists Slugworth, Prodnose, and Ficklegruber respectively.

Callah Lane, was delightful in role as the precocious Noodle.

Olivia Colman and Tom Davis as Mrs. Scrubbit and Mr. Bleecher reminded me of characters from Annie and Les Miserables which is not a negative, but it definitely left an impression.

Keegan Michael Key brought his comedic charm and timing to the role of the chief of police. Some of the gags involving him could have been disastrous, but I was pleasantly surprised by how tasteful they were.

The visuals were as colorful as the sweets from Wonka’s factory, the settings were magnificent In their diversity, Director Paul King has an amazing eye for mood and setting.

The music composed by Joby Talbot and Neil Hannon, was a spectrum of emotion. The songs were all toe tappers, and I highly recommend copping the OST.

And the choreography is just as solid, sadly I could not find the credits for it as of this writing.

Most importantly Willy Wonka’s mystique is left fully in tact. Paul King and co-writer Simon Faranby, understood what a lot of prequel writers don’t, not every question needs an answer. Willy Wonka just is, and I love that they understand that.

I couldn’t stop smiling as the film continued, it’s warm cup of hot cocoa on a winter’s day and I highly recommend checking it out this holiday season.

Wonka gets a very solid 4 out of 5.

#movie review #hollywood #wonka 2023 #wonka #willy wonka #timothée chalamet #hugh grant #oompa loompa #chocolate factory #imax films

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Barbie

When I first heard about a Barbie movie, I like many people rolled their eyes at the very thought of it. Barbie media has often (at times unfairly) lambasted for being a cash grab and that was my initial reaction, however we I heard that Margot Robbie was involved and her production company was fitting the bill, my interest was piqued. So without further ado, (and I never thought I would ever say these words) let’s talk about Barbie!

We’re introduced to the fictional world of Barbieland, where every concept of Barbie exists and lives in perfect harmony with a respective Ken, and Allan (there’s only one of him.) But the harmony is disrupted when Robbie’s Stereotypical Barbie begins to suffer from an existential crisis and in order for her to fix what’s wrong she must go to the real world and meet the girl who is playing with her and figure out what’s wrong.

In all genres of entertainment, comedy is one of those that I am insanely harsh on, as comedian myself I feel like there should be a flow to long form story, especially in comedy. But I can say that Director and co-screenwriter Greta Gerwig created a work that was heartfelt and hilarious in this film.

The cinematography is nothing short of brilliant, lots and lots of pink paint was used to bring Barbieland to life and it felt like one massive play set. And the various Real World shots were not to be out done giving off a stark contrast to each other.

The soundtrack was a delightful mix of classic top 40s, newer hits and self-aware comedic songs. The score was equally light poppy and fun, composers (pop music legend) Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt brought an amazing upbeat energy to this film.

Co-writer Noah Baumbach, helped with some very well-timed jokes, and you know they worked because they triggered a metric ton of incels, and that alone was worth the price of admission. Together with Gerwig, I was throughly impressed with the amount of meta commentary on display, and despite what some might lead you to believe, the film doesn’t demonize men; the film’s message is far more complex than that. I also appreciate the fact that they made the movie about the titular character, with seems to be something that franchises like Transformers can’t seem to get right.

And the performances were hilariously well done, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gossling have great chemistry as they lampoon the ideas of these characters’ roles. Simu Liu, is amazing versatile and brings the same amazing timing that he brought to Kim’s Convenience and it was delightful. Although my favorite Barbies were Issa Rei as President Barbie and Sharon Rooney as Lawyer Barbie. And I would be remised to ignore Hari Nef whose Doctor Barbie was whimsical and charming, Also since I’m madly in love with Alexandra Shipp I can say that she another of my favorite parts. America Ferreira and Ariana Greenblat served as great moral support for the various inhabitants of Barbieland and then there Will Ferrell I was almost convinced was Ken at one point given his goofball behavior. I also enjoyed seeing Rhea Pearlman as one (spoilers), she just gets better with age. Kate McKinnon really went all in as Weird Barbie as did Michael Cera as Allan (easily my favorite character in the film.) And last but certainly NOT least, Dame Hellen Mirren as the narrator brought a nice touch of her

Barbie was more than what I and many others initially expected, it was packaged as a goofball fish-out-of-water comedy which is a tired cliché in its own right, I sat down on this for a good while before writing this and I feel like its one of the best comedies I have seen in a very long time. It was very funny, but it also had a lot to say about growing up, holding on to thing that we love, and letting go of them. The biggest message that we all have to find our own way, because we are all more than just an idea and life doesn’t exist in just a straight line and at the end of the day isn’t that what it means to be human?

I give Barbie a well-deserved, 5 out of 5.

#movie review #hollywood #barbie #ryan gosling #margot robbie #barbieheimer #ken doll #micheal cera #dua lipa #john cena #greta gerwig #will ferrell #comedy #matel #barbie doll #barbie girl #barbieland #barbie world

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Oppenheimer

Oppenheimer

Christopher Nolan is one of the important names in modern cinema, he has a style that next to no one can emulate. This goes for his writing style and cinematography; in his latest creative endeavor, we see him doing what he loves: making art. So, let’s talk about Oppenheimer!

Oppenheimer is about the titular theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer, whose scientific knowledge led to the bombing of Hiroshima.

First, Christopher Nolan displays his usual level of artistry in this film. Choosing not to go for linear storytelling was quite the gambit, but one that paid off; I never looked away for a second, and it almost felt like a puzzle to piece together how things would play out. Given that this was a biopic, I did not expect too much outside of the realm of possibility; but I clearly forgot who I was dealing with. He implemented as much surrealistic cinematography as the film would allow, and it was some of his best.

Nolan is a master of the concept of “show, don’t tell” and nailed it here.

That’s enough of me squealing like a fan girl, everyone knows that the director is a technical genius, but we also know that as a screenwriter, he tends to come off as pretentious, and he did the thing here.

There was no shortage of cliches present here, but that was unavoidable when trying to stay true to the many incidents that Oppenheimer was involved in. But he’s never been a strong screenwriter, to begin with.

And while I am a huge fan of the dying art of practical effects in film, the makeup work did nothing to hide who was under it, and at times it was laughable.

The cast was a Hollywood who’s who list, and they brought their A-game, Robert Downey Jr., fresh from his recuperation from franchise fatigue showed why he was one of the best in the game, as did Emily Blunt and Florence Pugh. The number of Hollywood A-listers proved why Nolan’s name still carries so much weight in the industry and there were far too many to name.

But the most standout performance was easily Cillian Murphy, who has been one of Nolan’s longest collaborators. And to pull off a Midwest accent when he has a strong brogue is impressive. The word pathos is thrown around frequently, but when you look back on the history of the protagonist, the term is accurate for Murphy’s performance.

Nolan films never play around with their score, and composer Ludwig Görannson meant business. Check out his catalog if you don’t believe me.

Oppenheimer is Oscar bait, everyone knows that, but it’s at least well made and some of Nolan’s contemporaries could stand to learn from his example. Not a perfect film by any means, 3 hours plus hours has never been one of my favorite numbers when it comes to length, but nothing about that time felt wasted.

I also want applaud the cast for the decision to leave the premiere to join the writers strike. In order to protect the future of not only cinema, but the arts as a whole. As a fellow artist, I support them.

I give Oppenheimer a 4 out of 5.

#movie review #cinema #oppenheimer #atomic bomb #robert downey jr #cillian murphy #emily blunt #florence pugh #writers strike #christopher nolan #hollywood

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The Flash

Before I go any further I want to give a trigger warning, this movie’s lead has committed some truly reprehensible acts and I understand if you don’t want to read any further or share this review.

WB has no shortage of controversial collaborators, from everyone’s favorite transphobe, J.K.Rowling to the subject of this review, Ezra Miller.

To call his actions disgusting would be an understatement, abuse and sex trafficking are no laughing matter, and I want make it clear that I do not condone Miller’s actions.

The Flash takes place after the events of Justice League, and Barry Allen (Miller) has started working at a Forensics lab, and is working had to find evidence that will absolve his father of accusations of murdering his mom. With a greater mastery of his powers and understanding of the speed force (the source of The Flash’s speed) he decides to manipulate the timeline in order to prevents his mom’s murder. This choice catastrophically alters the timeline and he is forced to align himself with this reality’s Batman (reprised by Michael Keaton), a time variant of himself, and Kara Zor-El, SuperGirl (Sasha Calle).

I didn’t want to like this movie, but it’s a well put together superhero film, honestly better than anything that the MCU has put out recently.

That said, I will start with negatives, the score was insanely uninspired and I found myself pointing out how much of Barry’s theme sounded like the theme from the CW show. And don’t get me started on Batman’s music. Ben Wallfisch, knows how to copy homework, even if it is poor interpretation.

The CGI was vomit inducing, looking more like low resolution PS3 games than effects from this decade.

The way time travel is explained is idiotic, making it sound like the timeline can be fixed with a little TLC; this is yet another way that the show is far superior, (my inner science nerd is coming in 3,2,1) explaining that the fact the theoretical physics of a timeline being fractured, and could never return to exactly the way it was, no matter what was done.

Science rant over.

Miller’s depiction of one of my favorite DC heroes, never ceases to annoy me. They never seems like someone who wants to do the right thing in a lot of scenes, they comes off as reluctant at various points and even when they develop it seems like he doesn’t like he’s learned anything. And yes, Barry is a HUGE nerd, but their performance was far from lovable. But part of that comes from irony of Miller playing this role.

Michael Keaton’s performance was like reuniting with an old friend, it was like he’d never left the role. It also helped that he was working with a director who actually understood.

Sasha Calle was an excellent choice for SuperGirl, she’s the first actress that I’ve play the role that played her as a hothead, which is one of my favorite characterizations of her.

Director Andy Muschietti, made something truly entertaining, so I will give credit where it is due, but that doesn’t excuse the lead for being an awful person or the fact that Warner Entertainment still wishes to endorse them.

I’m glad I got to see this movie for free, I had a lot of fun, and think it’s overall solid flick; but I can’t tell you what to do with your money, I know that I won’t be paying to see it in theaters again and instead donate my money to sex trafficking prevention and abuse counseling

I give The Flash a 3.5 out of 5.

#movie review #warnerbrothers #dccomics #the flash #batman #supergirl #aquaman #wonder woman #gal gadot #ben affleck #jason mamoa #sasha calle #justice league #gotham #central city #barry allen #iris west #dc universe #speed force #general zod

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Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse

Spider-Man is pretty ubiquitous in the cultural zeitgeist, multiple animated series, a couple of really good video games, and myriad of successful films. And the one that really blew people (myself included) away was Into The Spiderverse, which was nothing short of a masterpiece! Animation that blew the audience away, a dope soundtrack and a fantastic story that was easy to follow. So Sony Animation really had a lot to live up to with their follow up Across The Spiderverse.

Spider-Man: Across The Spiderverse takes place a year after the events of Into The Spiderverse. Miles Morales has been living his best Spider-Life, in spite of juggling his other responsibilities. When he is reunited with Spider-Gwen and Peter B. Parker, who introduce him the enigmatic leader of a secret society of Spideys, Miguel O’Hara aka Spider-Man 2099; who tell Miles of a threat that might destroy the entire multiverse.

The first thing entering my head was how much fun that I had watching this film, truly a work of art. But narratively this was a disjointed mess.

I can’t sing the praises of these visuals enough, Directors Joaquin Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justice K. Thompson built off and very strong foundation, showcasing a use of colors, and art styles that I haven’t seen since the original run of Samurai Jack.

Vocal performances were amazing, Shamiek Moore does miss a beat returning to the role Miles Morales, same goes for Hailey Steinfeld, and Jake Johnson as returning Spider-people.

Newcomers Oscar Isaac (2099), and Issa Rae (Spider-Woman) deliver a level of maturity as mentors to the Spider Society.

But Daniel Kaluya as Hobie Brown was everything I dreamed he be in this role, his Punk Rock/Chav energy was on full display and I am so here for it! Jason Schwartzman was beautifully awkward as originally c-tier villain The Spot. And I am almost certain that I heard him make a Wes Anderson reference.

A fast paced score, the matched the film’s kinetic visually. The soundtrack was a certified bop, with a few of my favorites by the likes of Rap legend Rakim.

But pacing is part of this movie’s problem, there moments that hit me with information overload and the amount of characters that will be important in the next film popping in an out made certain bits easy to forget if your neurodivergent like myself.

The writing team of Lord and Miller, as well as David Callaham, clearly had some big shoes to film with story and what they did was very ambitious, but I feel like they forgot that less is more.

So there is term in media known as sequelitis, and it this movie suffers from it, does that make it bad film? Absolutely not! But the problem is that movie does what John Wick 3 did, sequel baiting for 2024’s Beyond The Spiderverse. There was so much set up, that I was worried that this movie was trying to give Avengers Endgame a run for its money and at 2.5 hours it almost did!

I’m so glad I got to see this world again and I will be having second helping. But I would be remised to not point out the film’s very tiny list of flaws.

See you beyond the spiderverse, true believers!

I give Spider-Man: Across The Spiderverse a 4 out of 5.

#movie review #sony animation #spider man #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spider man 2099 #spider Gwen #spider punk #spider ham #spider man noir #marvel #peter parker #miles molares #gwen stacy #spider woman #hobie brown #miles morales #jessica drew #miguel o'hara #spidey #The spot

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The Little Mermaid (2023)

So Disney has gone overboard with these remakes, like we now have 3 different live action remakes of The Jungle Book (One is direct-to-video, but that’s beside the point.) I find myself, like many Disney fans constantly asking who asked for this and with them ranging from fine to God Awful! Which brings us to the subject of yet another (controversial) live action remake, The Little Mermaid.

You know the story, Mermaid longs to experience the world of the surface and learn more about it, gives up her voice to become human, hijinks ensue. Then she gets her happy ending.

The story is mostly unchanged, but the biggest changes are in characterization and certain details.

There were a lot of progressive changes, and that’s one of the film’s biggest strengths; there was a huge emphasis on Caribbean Island culture, as opposed to *insert European country here* given the surface kingdom a lot more to do. I found myself conflicted over this choice but I also feel like this was a scenario where someone was going to be displeased no matter what, and for what it’s worth I’ll take this over the worst case scenario.

There were a couple of new songs that were provided by my candidate for the current hardest working man in show business, Lin Manuel Miranda. The first being a song for Prince Eric, which left no impression on me; and ScuttleBug which feels undoubtedly like one of songs, from the delivery to the wordplay.

Composer Alan Menken returns to provide an impressive score for this remake, even if the score itself is a remake.

The visuals are brilliant, at least on land, it’s like Director Rob Marshall had no interest in making the Mermaid part of The Little Mermaid visually appealing.

The cast was solid, object of controversy Halle Bailey has a decent acting resume and this is no exception; in spite of her performance fluctuating.

Daveed Diggs does a hilarious Jamaican accent as Sebastian, Awkafina and Jacob Tremblay were fine as Scuttle and Flounder respectively.

Melissa McCarthy managed to use her scenery chewing powers for good as Ursula, and her vocal training definitely paid off.

Javier Bardem gives a commanding performance as King Triton.

However Jonah Hauer-King, was forgettable.

As far as adaptations, The Little Mermaid was fine; nothing special kinda like hot pocket, filling but not necessary. I would definitely say it’s one of the best live action remakes, but the bar is insanely low.

I give The Little Mermaid a 3 out of 5.

#movie review #disney #the little mermaid #ariel and eric #Ariel #halle bailey #disney remakes #Sebastian #daveed diggs #lin manuel miranda #awkwafina #javier bardem #melissa mccarthy #disney world #disneyland #alan menken #disney princess #king triton #ursula the sea witch #poor unfortunate souls #flotsam and jetsam #prince eric

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Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Three

So can we all just agree that phase 4 has been a bloated mess? Okay? Good. With that out of the way, let’s discuss James Gunn’s final bow to the MCU; it’s no secret that Gunn and the House of Mouse have had a tumultuous half decade. With the brief pandering to their right-wing audience, and just generally keeping him on a short leash as they tend to do with all their collaborators; but I’m not here to go on a diatribe over ethics in late-stage capitalism, so let’s talk about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.

GotG 3 takes us to back to NOWHERE, which (if you saw the holiday special you’d know) now serves as their base of operations. When they suddenly attacked by agents of The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji), who is after Rocket as he is the Evolutionary’s complex creation and could hold the key to perfecting The High Evolutionary’s greatest experiment.

A lot of moving parts in this one, and I can’t say that seamlessly interact with each other. The movie is a lot of fun, so I’ll make that abundantly clear, but definitely a weird movie and not in the way one might expect.

Visuals were edge lord-esque at times, as there was some icky body horror that I personally found amusing (because I’m 12), might not be up the alley of someone who doesn’t care for gratuitous gore.

But I love the lighting and camera work during some of these fight scenes, there’s a reason WB gave James Gunn the keys to the kingdom.

Sound quality was all over the place as well, definitely not a bad movie by any stretch but there were points when it was unnecessarily loud. And what can I say about the soundtrack that hasn’t already been said about his previous works? James Gunn has amazing taste in music, duh!

Acting is solid for most part, newcomers Chukwudi Iwuji and Will Poulter are fun, but not particularly memorable, and if you let Chris Pratt outshine that’s got to be a slap in the face. The rest of the cast is extremely entertaining and have amazing chemistry.

The story was barely there, it was far from Gunn’s writing and I’m convinced that this was intentional.

He pushed the PG-13 rating to its maximum, with occasional f-bombs and a couple of other potty words.

His heart was not in it and he’s done with Disney’s nonsense.

I didn’t hate this movie, I wish it were the film that fans of the franchise deserved but here we are. As a colleague of mine stated, it comes off as mean spirited and I sadly agree after sitting of how this movie made me feel. Anyway godspeed, James Gunn.

I give Guardians of the Galaxy volume 3, a 3 out of 5.

#movie review #marvel #marvel mcu #guardians of the galaxy #star lord #james gunn #dave batista #karen gillan #bradley cooper #Disney #Zoe Saldana #vin diesel #Chris Pratt #rocket raccoon #I am groot #nebula #mantis #gamora

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The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Who doesn’t love nostalgia? That’s a trick question, because clearly Hollywood does! It’s big business and makes them big bucks! And there are very few IPs that rake in the dough like Super Mario! And the perfect animation studio to embody the capitalist venture of a film and eventual cinematic universe, was the ones responsible for the cinematic blight that is the minions franchise! ILLUMINATION!

So the question is are they two great tastes that taste great together, or is it a perfectly stew ruined by the wrong ingredients? (It’s the latter, but let me tell you why The Super Mario Bros. Movie is just there.)

So Mario and Luigi get sucked into a portal whisking them away to the Mushroom Kingdom, where they have to stop King Bowser’s universal campaign of domination.

Visually, it’s some of Illumination’s best work; it’s full of the seizure inducing bright lights that the franchise is known for. But with the house that the plumber built fitting the bill, I would expect nothing less.

The music was amazing too, the arrangements of Koji Kondo’s iconic scores were virtually untouched.

There weren’t much in the way of stand out performances

The cast was fine, Anya Taylor-Joy phoned in a rather milquetoast performance.

And Chris Pratt was in the movie.

Charlie Day, Keegan Michael Key and Seth Roger, were a lot of fun to hear performing their roles.

But I am almost certain that Jack Black through his back out carrying this movie. It was top tier cheese *chef’s kiss*

Jack Black is the movie’s real hero!

Gosh I almost forgot to talk about rest of the film, and there’s a good reason for that. The “minds” behind Teen Titans Go! Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic did what they do best, make cinematic junk food for 8 year olds.

I found myself cherry picking concepts from better kids’ films, including the final battle.

I didn’t expect much going into this, so there’s that and I feel like the plethora of fan service moments were insincere at best.

In a world where movies like Sonic the Hedgehog and Detective Pikachu exist, there’s absolutely no excuse for low hanging fruit like this.

I give The Super Mario Bros. Movie a very generous

2.5 out of 5

#movie review #super mario #super mario bros #mario and luigi #mario kart #mario movie #bowser #princess peach #Yoshi #super mario toad #mushroom kingdom #donkey kong #rainbow road #blue shell

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Cocaine Bear

So in 1985 just outside of Chattahoochee GA, the body of a 79 kilogram American Black Bear was found.

Said black bear had od’ed on an indeterminant amount of cocaine that had been lost by smugglers in the Wilderness of Tennessee at least 2 days prior. The bear’s body was stuffed, and put on display in front of mall in Kentucky; many refer to him as Pablo Escobear, while others refer to him as the titular film character, COCAINE BEAR.

In Cocaine Bear, 3 drug dealers (O’Shea Jackson Jr Alden Ehrenreich and Ray Liotta ) try to track down a huge shipment of cocaine and the titular mammal consumes them a brick of it. Murderous hijinks ensue.

So let’s just get this out of the way, if you came into expecting anything more than what’s in the title? You’re gonna be disappointed. That said, I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard at a movie; due in part to Elizabeth Banks’ solid direction, whose resume in the field is a little spotty but she manages to stick the landing.

Alden Ehrenreich and O’Shea Jackson have amazing chemistry and they also worked extremely well off of the late great Ray Liotta.

Isiah Whitlock Jr. was in rare form, I felt like he was channeling Leslie Nielsen and his character from “The Wire”.

Keri Russell was pretty hilarious as a smarmy soccer mom.

Brooklyn Prince made her character likable considering how kids in this genre can be super annoying.

Shout out to fellow TikToker Scott Seiss for making the most of his role!

Composer Mark Mothersbaugh made sure to make sure that the horror film angle was on full display.

As far as movies go, Cocaine Bear is comfort food, if you can watch a movie and know when to laugh and just be a viewer, check it out!

I give Cocaine Bear a 3 out of 5.

#ray liotta #cocaine bear #comedy #black comedy #drugs #Kerri Russell #ice cube #movie review #2023 #drug dealers #the 80s #elizabeth banks #crime

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Ant-Man and The Wasp in Quantumania.

I bet most people reading this article are over the superhero movie craze clogging Hollywood’s arteries; personally, I am ambivalent. I have felt thrilled to have had this experience on and off since Endgame, which set the bar way too high. However, the issue in watching so much content, such as shows, movies, and animated specials, is that it can all be a daunting task to keep up with; luckily, recent films have leaned more towards keeping things self-contained.

 This leads us to the most recent entry in the Ant-Man franchise, Ant-Man and The Wasp in Quantumania.

 For simplicity’s sake, I will be referring to the title as Quantumania (which is still a mouthful!)

 “Scott Lang and Hope van Dyne, along with Hope's parents, Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, and Lang's daughter, Cassie, go on a new adventure exploring the Quantum Realm that pushes their limits and pits them against Kang the Conqueror.”

I found myself mulling over how to express my feeling about this film adequately; in one statement, the film is mid-tier. But that won’t cut it for a review, so allow me to elaborate.

 There are a lot of solid performances from the cast; this is easily one of Paul Rudd’s strongest performances as Scott Lang or otherwise, and that’s pretty good for a man who I once considered to be Hollywood’s sidekick. He brought the same charm and complexity he’s given in previous performances.

 I loved Evangeline Lilly as Hope van Dyne / Wasp, but they didn't give her much to do for a character whose name is in the title. I felt she was sorely underutilized, and her arc was way too brief.

 You could tell Michelle Pfeiffer, and Michael Douglas were clearly there to fulfill their contractual obligations.

 Kathryn Newton was definitely a welcomed addition to the cast; as Cassie Lang, she worked well independently and in tandem with Paul Rudd. She was likable and, at times, hilarious.

 But the stand-out performance has to be with Jonathan Majors as Kang the Conqueror. Majors said “Kang is different from He Who Remains (his portrayal in Loki), who is not in Quantumania, with a shifted psychology, portraying Kang differently from He Who Remains due to the different characters.”

Major’s depiction of the dimension and time-faring despot was borderline Shakespearean, for a comic book movie. And I can’t wait to see him in future films.

 Christophe Beck returns as film composer and does a solid job.

 The film was 75% green screen, and the use of what are clearly leftover set pieces from the Force Awakens makes the film seem extremely cheap. They couldn’t even be bothered to bring back a third of the original cast.

 Phase five’s starting point begins strong, but sadly doesn’t stick the landing, not as bad as Age of Ultron, The Eternals, or Dark World, but the fun factor only does so much.

 If you’re a Marvel fanboy like me, it’s worth a watch but I can’t say it’s worth multiple viewings, I give Ant-Man and The Wasp in Quantumania a 3 out of 5.

#marvel #ant-man #the wasp #the avengers #kevin feige #Disney #scott lang #hank pym #hope van dyne #janet van dyne #kang the conqueror #loki #tvga #modok #stature

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Black Panther Wakanda Forever

On August 28th we lost one of the entertainment industry’s most phenomenal talents in Chadwick Boseman, the man who brought T’Challa the original Black Panther to life. His dedication to the role cannot be understated, which makes Kevin Feige’s decision to not recast the role divisive yet understandable. I have a personal connection with this franchise myself, but more on that later, for now let’s discuss Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.

 Taking place after the events of Endgame, the film begins with the nation of Wakanda mourning the loss of King T’Challa who fell ill of a heart condition. With the nation coming to grips with this devastating loss, Princess Shuri buries herself in her work to numb the pain. After a year has passed, Wakanda is faced with threats from many sides; the UN who is relentlessly urging the nation to share their virbranium resources with the rest of the world and as well as a new threat, the oceanic nation of Tlālōcān, lead by the mutant king Ku’Kul’Kan also known as Namor. After UN attempts to seek Tlālōcān’s

Vibranium supply using a device created by prodigy Riri Williams, the submariner and his people take it as a declaration of war. Namor gives Wakanda an ultimatum, surrender Williams or be crushed by his kingdom’s might.

 This film was some of the best works that Ryan Coogler has done, not to discount anything in his resume of course. You can tell he put his heart into it from the script alone; it felt like a beautiful tribute to his late throughout the film’s runtime.

 The overarching themes of grief and forgiveness resonate strongly in this movie, especially in Shuri’s character arc, played excellently by Letitia Wright. Danai Gurira brought a lot more depth in her performance as Okoye, her character is put through so much, but all for the sake of giving her more agency. Returning cast members Angela Bassett, Martin Freeman, Winston Duke, and Lupita Nyong’o exercised their grief in their performances as well, especially with the tears that were shed over T’Challa. Newcomer Tenoch Huerta captured the duality of Namor beautifully, a prime example of Chaotic Good if I ever saw it; every action his character took (no matter how violent) was towards the betterment of his people. Dominique Thorne, who played Riri Williams, was likable enough but didn’t leave a huge impression on me; here’s hoping she’s able to bring more substance to her character in the upcoming IronHeart series. I also was delighted to see Michela Coel in this film; she’s one of my favorite black actresses and brought some of her fantastic comedic timing to the role.

 The set pieces were as stunning as ever, but the soundtrack, while amazing, pales in comparison to its predecessor. Also, the cgi was a huge step from the original, but it’s a learning process, so I can’t fault anyone for it. I can’t praise the fight choreography enough; as someone with a martial arts background, I live for this stuff, and to put the fights into words would not do them justice.

So this movie had me crying by end, and that’s because my birthday is August 28th; the same day that Chadwick Boseman died of cancer. His death left a profound impact on my life, and much like Shuri, I found myself processing the loss related to his death; I felt like I had lost a family member but through this film, I was able to finally let go of my own grief. As the tears streamed down my face, I smiled at this cinematic celebration of the life of one of Hollywood’s most prolific actors.

 Thank you, Ryan Coogler and more so thank you Chadwick Boseman.

 I give Black Panther: Wakanda Forever a 4 out of 5.

#mcu #black panther #tchalla #shuri #wakanda forever #vibranium #ironheart #marvel #disney #chadwick boseman #angela bassett #lupita nyong'o #danai gurira #winston duke #martin freeman

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Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri

In a departure from my general wheelhouse of pop culture drenched movies, I had the chance to watch one of the best comedies of 2017, Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri  written, produced, and directed by Martin McDonagh, stars Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, John Hawkes, and Peter Dinklage. It follows a mother who takes matters into her own hands after the police in her town are unable to find a suspect in her daughter's murder by purchasing three billboards shaming the police for not solving the crime. This leads her to confrontations with the police as well as her fellow townfolk which are exacerbated by personal drama among the police officers themselves. 

Three Billboards is one of those stories that really hits home at the end of the day, so much that a first glance I assumed that it was based on a true story, which honestly left me a bit dismissive, but I could not have been more wrong.

There are a lot strength to this film, starting with the music, using songs from the likes of Joan Baez and The Four Tops, that fit each scene superbly. If you get the chance, I highly recommended checking this soundtrack out on iTunes, Google Play, or Spotify.

There are so many outstanding performances in this film, Frances McDormand brings her A-game as protagonist Mildred Hayes, giving off a world weary, tough as nails, salt of the earth type of mentality to the role. Woody Harrelson, was fantastic as Chief Willoughby, a victim of circumstance who while being at odds with Mildred must also contend with terminal cancer, without saying too much his performance is strong and heartbreaking. Sam Rockwell’s performance was nothing short of exceptional, starting in his much typecasted antagonistic postion, he is given one of the most genuine character arcs that I have seen in modern cinema. There is no deus ex machina that changes his world view, he simply learns from his mistakes and grows as a person, and it makes Three Billboards all the better for it.

Visually this movie is breathtaking, McDonagh captures the small town aesthetic with great detail; from the bright color of Ebbing’s various locales to McDormand’s coveralls, as someone who grew up in a community similar to the one depicted in this film, I can attest to how genuine it feels.

The narrative overall is the strongest part of Three Billboards, as it surprises you at every turn; no one character is the focus of it and the cumilnation of the various arcs are magnificent. Best of all without spoiling too much, I can tell you that the ending is satisfying, it’s a “life goes on” type of ending and in the hands of a compotent writer (which is a gross understatement of McDonagh’s talent) it is spectacular.

This movie by far is an oscar contender, it hits all the right switches, and especially considering how the director wore multiple hats for this project. I enjoyed every minute of it and I can’t recommend it enough.

I give Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri a 5 out of 5.

#three billboards outside ebbing missouri #movie review #francis mcdormand #woody harrelson #sam rockwell #peter dinklage #oscar buzz #awards season #black comedy