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#(looking at you atyd)
that-bitch-kat3 · 14 days
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conan gray = sirius black
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myloveoflove · 6 months
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someone needs to examine the science behind reading all the young dudes on ao3 and then dressing up as david bowie for halloween years later under a microscope because what’s up with that
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rayssion · 7 months
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Me: oh, I'm so tired today. Going out of the house always drains me. I'll sleep early tonight. I'll sleep at ten!!
Me, at 10 pm: oooh, reading atyd lonely at night really fits the vibes. But I should sleep though? Alright let's read two chapters.
Me, at 12:30: fuck this I said only two, how the hell did I get to Pinterest???
Me, at 12:30: alright Imma stop here, I'm heading to bed rn.
Also me, at 5 am: you know, spending five hours watching the amazing Spider-Man is not what I planned but like.... Can't blame me though....
And lastely me: having to be up at seven be like ;-;
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urthewolftomystar · 7 months
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WHY DOES ANDREW GARFIELD SUPPORT AUTISM SPEAKS NOOOOOOOOO
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Personally, I think Remus lupin would unintentionally start a cult and his friends would be like “DUDE” and he’s just there minding his own business like “I didn’t ask for this. It’s not my fault they decided to worship me.”
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feelingthedisaster · 26 days
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i never wanted to start a war (i said i didnt like atyd)
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yikes-eliott · 2 years
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“well canonically-“ did I ask?
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agerasiaa · 1 year
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help I’m in marauders era tik tok and I’ve never even been part of that side of the harry potter fandom bc thankyouverymuch, I’m mentally ill enough HELP HOW DO I GET OUTTT
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c0wb0ylik3m3 · 1 year
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atyd has literally rewired my brain i just spent 1.10€ on a fucking mars bar just so i could look at it. i don't even like the taste like. at all
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evanpeterswhoresblog · 3 months
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Cherry Bomb (pt. 3)
Remus Lupin x f!reader, James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Sirius Black x f!reader (mentioned)
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warnings: smut, p in v, i think it’s protected atp idk, fingering, underage smoking, very dom remus, long af but omg i’m so in love with it
summary: the last part of your plan is far harder to achieve than the first two and it’s far more complicated.
word count: 5k
a/n: ahhh here’s the last part (i think?) anyway sorry it’s long i got carried away but ugh i love remus so much. sorry if my characterization is off, ever since atyd i see him as sarcastic. yeah i love this, hope you guys do too :)
~~~
Out of all the marauders, Remus Lupin was by far the most liked. He was quiet, but not invisible. He was the most sensible out of all the boys and the most polite. Though he did tend to be witty and sarcastic, he was kind at heart. But he was also the hardest one to get close to. Quiet, reserved, beautiful Remus with his nose always stuck in a book. There was always something about him that made girls fall fast. But that was the thing. It was always so easy to fall in love with him. So, if one ever wanted to shag Remus Lupin, they would have to deal with the consequences of loving him. Because he was nothing like his mates. He didn’t shag just anyone. No. He had to choose you. And to be chosen by him was the biggest accomplishment and the biggest curse. Because once you get him, you will never want to let him go.
~~~
Avoiding two of the marauders is nearly impossible. Each corner you turn it seems you run into one of them, or both. And each time their eyes find you they show the same expressions. Confusion. Frustration. Perhaps even a bit of sadness. You debate throwing away the entire plan daily. It’s unfair, the way you’re playing with their minds. But the lingering knowledge that you’re so close to completing the plan entirely keeps you going. Because surely, all your hurt feelings can’t be for nothing.
Right?
You speak to James only once after your shag in the broom closet. It’s a week or two after, he’s been chasing you around, and you’ve been avoiding him. But you decide he deserves some amount of closure. Sweet, lovely, innocent James. You find him alone in the library and take your opportunity. The way he smiles when he sees you approaching makes your heart ache terribly and regret fills your stomach.
“Y/n I’ve been trying to catch you, how are you?” He asks once you’re close enough to hear his quiet tone.
He looks so happy, you feel sick.
“Yeah, I just you know… haven’t been feeling too great,” you lie.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Sit if you’d like, I’ve been attempting to study for the potions test. Aren’t you good with potions? Could you help me possibly?”
You inhale deeply. You could really use a cigarette right now. You’ve broken things off with guys before, but this feels different. In the other cases, you’ve had reasons. For this case though, you have none. James is innocent in all of this. It makes you nauseous.
“Listen, James,” you start, your voice soft. “What happened was great, I enjoyed it a lot, but it was a mistake. I like you, you’re very sweet, but I don’t think we should do anything else.”
Watching his face fall is by far the most horrid sight you’ve ever seen. All the happiness fades fast and leaves behind a bitter frown. He looks down at his papers, toying with his quill.
“I see…” He looks back up, a fake smile on his lips. “That’s alright, it was fun. I’m not really looking for anything serious like that either, so I understand.”
You swallow hard. “I really do like you James, believe me, but it’s just not the right time for this.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
“And...” You pause for a second. “You won’t tell anyone?”
He nods. “Not a soul. This will be our little secret.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“Well then, I’ll let you get back to your potions. Thanks for... everything.” You give him one last smile before turning on your heels and making your way out of the library.
You almost put an end to it right then and there, but then you see the tallest marauder walking down the hall with Peter. His hands are in his pockets, his book bag slung over one of his shoulders. For a split second his eyes meet yours as the two of you pass each other.
He gives you a small awkward smile.
Fuck.
~~~
To catch Remus Lupin alone you must take the risk of losing your house some points. You wait a week before making your move, for safety. After your conversation with James, the only marauder to pay attention to you is Sirius. He’s still set on telling everyone that the two of you shagged, but thankfully, not many people believe him. Not even his best mates.
It’s a very quiet night when you sneak out after curfew. A night you know one particular prefect is doing rounds on his own. You wander through the castle quietly, making sure to avoid the areas in which teachers lurk. Goosebumps form on your skin, you should’ve worn more than a tee-shirt and sweatpants, but you needed to look casual.
As you’re about to turn a corner, you spot Filch. Panic surfaces inside you and you quickly turn around and run as quietly as you can down the hall. You take a few turns and just as you’re about to relax, you hear a voice.
“It’s past curfew, what are you doing out here?”
Your heart stops for a completely different reason.
It’s him.
You turn to face him and shyly smile. You watch his face change as he recognizes you.
“Oh, it’s you.” He narrows his eyes. “Off to shag my mate again, are you?”
“I never shagged him,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “And I’m out for a completely different reason.”
“What reason is that?”
You shrug. “Personal reason.”
“Ah well, hope it was worth losing your dear Ravenclaws ten points. Get back to your dorm before someone else catches you,” he says, turning away from you.
You watch as he walks down the hall, not giving you another thought. You would’ve replied sarcastically if you could speak for that matter. Once he disappears, all you can do is shamefully make your way back to your house's common room, now understanding why James likes being a chaser.
~~~
Some time passes before you get Remus alone. Each time you see him during the day, he’s accompanied by one of the marauders and you can’t sneak out during his rounds again because your fellow Ravenclaws were not pleased. You’re smoking behind the castle when you happen to finally catch him walking alone. You immediately take your chance.
“Lupin!” You call out to him. You get up from the bench you were sitting on and walk to him.
Thankfully, he stops walking and turns back to face you. “Y/l/n. Is there something I can help you with?”
You can tell from the tone of his voice he’s trying to be polite; it makes your insides warm.
“Yeah, actually there is. I was wondering if you could help me with my transfiguration essay. You’re the smartest lad in the year,” you answer, taking a small puff of your cigarette. You hold it up to offer him a hit, he shakes his head.
“Those things will kill you,” he says. “But I suppose I can help a bit. I assume you’re free right now?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Let me take a look.”
A smirk forms on your lips, and you let out a breath of smoke purposely into his face. “Take a girl to dinner first.”
He swats the air, fanning away the smoke. “Are you going to show me or not? I have things to take care of.”
“Sorry.” You hate the way your face burns. “Come see.”
The two of you make your way to the bench and you take out your essay. Truthfully, you are already finished with it, and you think your work is good. But much to your dismay, only a few seconds after he starts reading it, Remus takes out a muggle pen and begins crossing things off.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your spelling is shit, and you’ve contradicted your argument at least twice already and I’m only on the second paragraph,” he answers, his eyes glued to the paper. “Maybe if you spent more time studying than shagging and smoking, you’d have this information down. We reviewed it a few weeks ago.”
You scoff. “I have not been shagging.”
“Sure,” he mumbles, crossing off another sentence.
“I swear, Sirius is mistaken.” You lie.
He turns his head, his green eyes meeting yours. “Who said I was referring to Sirius?”
Your breath catches in your throat, and you cough due to the smoke. Is he talking about James? Your heart rate increases, and anxiety flows throughout your body. Did James tell? You catch your breath, your eyes meeting his again. He looks unamused.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t shagged anyone in months, not that it’s your business,” you say.
“You should really practice more on your lying; you are shit at it.” He hands your essay back to you and stands. “I left a few notes of some things you should change, but my biggest suggestion is that you reread the textbook, and perhaps find some more... enticing quotes. Is that all then? Like I said, I’ve got some other business to tend to.”
For a few seconds, all you can do is stare up at him, your mouth hung open ever so slightly. You previously thought Remus Lupin to be a timid boy who went along with the rest of the marauders because he couldn’t say no. Now though, you realize all those assumptions are wrong. He’s quiet, but not timid.
“What do you know?” You question.
“Quite a lot, thanks for the chat.”
Before you can even think of a response, he’s already walking away. You can’t let him slip away again.
“I’ll get it out of you Remus Lupin if it’s the last thing I do!”
He turns his head over his shoulder and chuckles, the sound sending warmth straight to your core. “We’ll see.”
And just like that, he’s gone, and you’re left flustered with rosy cheeks.
You did save the best for last.
~~~
Falling for the third marauder is easier than anything. Almost unconsciously, you begin to fail classes so that he can help you with work, you learn his route around the castle to see him at least once a day, and you sneak around the castle some nights, but he always ends up finding you somehow.
One night, a little over a month after you’ve started your game, something unexpected happens. You’re out after curfew once again, tiptoeing around the castle to see where the tallest prefect is when he appears from behind you. Like usual, he crosses his arms and clears his throat, making you quickly spin on your heels to face him. How does he always sneak up on you?
“How many times am I going to catch you before you start following the rules? I’m sure your fellow Ravenclaws aren’t too pleased with you,” he says. You look up at him, a genuine blush on your face. He narrows his eyes. “You want me to catch you, don’t you?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
You look away nervously. The plan never involved gaining real feelings for any of the marauders, yet here you were. Standing in your sleepwear after curfew with your heart racing in your chest at the mere sight of one of them. Though you try to deny it, you know deep down you’re crushing hard, and you know it will only end badly.
“I uh... I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just on a little stroll back from a smoke that’s all,” you reply after a few seconds, your hands anxiously fiddling with one another.
He rolls his eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what your objective is or has been, but whatever it is it’s not going to happen.”
“Remus I-”
“Sirius, I understand, he would sleep with the giant squid if it had tits. But James, really? He may be more of an... active person than myself but he has far more feelings than you think.” He takes a step forward; he towers over you. You swear you can’t breathe. “You may have fooled them, but you don’t fool me. I can see right through you y/l/n and you’re sick.”
You move backward; he follows each step. “You... you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
Your back hits a wall, panic rises in you. Your eyes fall to his hands, and a bit of relief washes over you when you see he’s not holding his wand. But then another thought takes over. Is he going to hit you? When you look back up, he’s only inches away from you, his hazel eyes piercing down into yours. He places one of his hands on the wall next to your head. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. I’m sorry,” you mumble, your words genuine.
“So, what was your goal then? To shag all of us and take your pick of who’s best? Peter would’ve been far easier than James you know,” he replies.
“It was just a stupid idea, I don’t know. It didn’t mean anything deeper I swear.” You’re rambling now, the threat of tears evident in the burning of your eyes. You try your hardest to keep any from falling, you can’t cry in front of Remus.
He sighs. “You’re lucky Sirius is oblivious, and James is trusting. If they knew the truth, you’d have the whole school against you.”
“Wait, they don’t know?”
He rolls his eyes again. “Of course not. If they knew you’d be getting hexed almost all day every day.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I notice a lot more than people think. Did you honestly think no one saw you go up to our dorm with Sirius that night at the party? And did you honestly think none of us would notice James’s change in attitude? You think you know more than you actually do,” he explains.
For a few seconds, the two of you only stare at each other. You don’t know what to think. You should’ve known this would happen. Someone was going to catch on. You wish you had never done it. Any of it. Everything would be so much simpler if you’d simply stayed the quiet Ravenclaw girl who never interacted with the marauders. But you can’t go back, no matter how much you wish you could. You can only make it right moving forward.
“I’m sorry, truly Remus.” There’s so much more you want to say, but you can’t. You can’t fathom the words.
“If you’re truly sorry, stop. I won’t be the next pawn in your game,” he says, his voice slightly lower than before. You watch the way his eyes shift, the way he licks his lips, and moves his head down so he’s almost eye level with you. Your breath catches in your throat. “I suppose I pity you though because you and I both know this has become more than a game to you now.”
You turn your head, but he grabs your chin and forces you to look him in the eye.
“You fancy me.”
“I-”
“Don’t try to deny it. Like I said, I can see right through you.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now,” you whisper, a tear nearly escaping one of your eyes.
He inhales deeply and you notice his eyes trail over your body for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “You’re right. It is over now.”
He lets go of you and backs away and for the first time since encountering him tonight, you feel like you can breathe normally. You stay on the wall, silently catching your breath as he walks further down the hall. But just before he’s about to turn a corner, he looks back at you.
“Or perhaps it’s simply my turn to play with you. Oh, and that’s twenty points from Ravenclaw. Goodnight.”
You fall asleep with his words burning in the back of your mind, and an ache between your thighs.
~~~
After that night, everything is different. You try to avoid them all and go back to the way things were before, you really do. You scribble out the page in your journal with their names, you keep your head down in the halls, and you skip the parties they host. It’s Remus who’s begun playing. Somehow, he continues knowing where you are and appears at random times. Whether you’re studying in the library, and he just so happens to need a book from that section, or you’re out by the lake with your friends and he walks by. You know it’s intentional, but it still manages to leave you hot and bothered each time.
“I thought you said the plan was off?” Your friend says one particular day when the two of you are eating lunch.
You look at her, confused. “It is.”
“Then why has Lupin been staring at you this whole meal?”
Instinctively, you look across the Great Hall and immediately catch those all-too-familiar hazel eyes. He doesn’t look away, at least, not for a moment. He stares at you with no shame, and even from the distance you can sense something different from the look in his eyes. Before you can fully figure it out though, he turns his attention back to the other three marauders.
“Did you shag him?” Your friend asks.
“No, I told you what happened,” you answer, focusing your attention back on the food on your plate. “I wish he’d stop.”
Your friend laughs. “Nah, you don’t.”
You hate how she’s right.
~~~
Nearly two months have passed when you finally confront Remus.
You’re sitting in the astronomy tower, a cigarette between your lips, and a scowl on your face. You can’t take it any longer. Wasn’t he the one who told you off? Wasn’t he the one who told you to stop the games? He was. You know it. So, why has he kept it going? He had said that it was his turn, but that was many weeks ago. How long did he plan to keep this going? You let out a cloud of smoke, frustration taking over your body at the thoughts.
“How many points shall I take off tonight? Forty? Fifty?” You feel him sit next to you, but you refuse to look at him. “You haven’t been out after dark in a while though, I’ll give you that.”
“What do you want Lupin?” You ask, annoyed.
He chuckles. “What do any of us want really?”
You look at him with a straight face, hating the way butterflies take over your stomach at the sight of him so close to you. Despite the scars on his face, you find him more beautiful than any boy. More than James, even more than Sirius. There is something so extraordinary about Remus you can’t explain. You wish it would go away.
“Why can’t you leave me alone?” You question after taking another drag from the cigarette.
“I haven’t spoken to you in over a month, I don’t know what-”
“Yes, you know what I mean.” You cut him off. You exhale your last breath of smoke and throw the cigarette off the tower. “I’m trying to leave this all in the past and move on like you said but you’ve made it quite difficult.”
“Seems you don’t like the taste of your medicine love. It’s hard, isn’t it? Trying to avoid someone when they always seem to end up exactly where you are. It gets rather annoying, doesn’t it? Especially when you secretly enjoy it,” he replies.
Your eyes meet again and that familiar trouble to breathe begins. He’s looking at you in a way you don’t know how to feel about. It’s not like Sirius’s drunken stare or James’s needy stare. No. This one, though the same lustful, is far deeper.
“Just tell me what you want Remus,” you eventually say, your voice lower than before. “What do you want?”
“I want you to get out of my head. I want to look at you and feel nothing. I want everything to go back to how it was before you decided to fuck with my friends and me,” he answers.
You swear your heart stops for a few beats. “Then let all of that happen.”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
You stay silent.
“I never wanted this, any of it.”
You look down. “I know.”
“Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Merlin, I give up, you win y/n. You bloody win.”
You’re about to ask what he exactly means, but he acts faster. In the blink of an eye, his lips are on yours. You can’t grasp it at first. You’re kissing Remus Lupin; Remus Lupin is kissing you. The boy who unintentionally caught your heart is kissing you. It’s unbelievable, it’s undeniable, and it’s far from underrated. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, even through your initial shock.
His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs stroke your skin ever so gently. You wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands toying with the hair on the back of his head. He’s a good kisser, very good. That’s why when he parts your lips, you protest.
“Why did you-”
“If we’re going to do this, you have to promise me it’s not a game anymore y/n.”
Your head is fuzzy from how intently he’s looking at you. “I promise Remus, that game has been over for a while.”
“You swear it?”
“I do. Do you?”
“Of course.” There are a few seconds of silence before he sighs, one of his fingers now playing with a piece of your hair. “We have to keep it secret.”
“I know,” you say.
He brushes the piece of hair behind your ear, the intimate gesture sending tingles throughout your body. “I don’t want it to be a quick shag either,” he adds.
“What do you want it to be then?”
The smile he gives you makes your stomach flip. “More.”
~~~
More from Remus Lupin is everything.
After that night, the two of you begin something you don’t exactly know how to name. You would call it a secret relationship, but the thought of that gives you a stomachache. The two of you don’t interact during the day, at least not where anyone else can see. He passes you in the hall as if you’re a stranger, but the second he catches you around a corner in an empty hallway he showers you with affection. And at night when the two of you sneak off, he touches you in ways you never thought possible.
He shows you so many new places in the castle you never knew of. Secret passages, secret rooms, all of it. You never question how he knows all of it, you only hold his hand tighter as he guides you. When he suggests a more secluded place to meet, you of course agree. Though, you never expect that place to be the shrieking shack.
“There’s no way you’re serious,” you say. The two of you are outside, near the Whomping Willow. You make sure to stay out of its reach. “The shrieking shack? That place is haunted, the ghosts don’t even go there because of how scary it is.”
“Obviously I’m not Sirius love, you only shagged him once,” he sarcastically replies, rolling his eyes to emphasize his joke.
“Remus.”
“The shrieking shack is not haunted, believe me, that’s only a silly rumor made so that people won’t go to it. Me, James, Sirius, and Peter go all the time. It has a bed, and given our activities I say we utilize that,” he explains.
You bite your lip. “Are you positive?”
He moves a bit closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, leaning down so he’s at eye level with you. “You know I would never let anything hurt you, you can trust me.”
“Alright, but how are we supposed to get there so late? It’s in Hogsmeade,” you question.
He chuckles. “Haven’t you learned by now the marauders have many secret ways?”
“Yes, but we’re not in the castle right now how are we to- Remus don’t go any closer you’re going to get hurt you-” You pause, your mouth hung open as you watch the whomping willow go completely still. “How did you...”
“Secrets love, now come, it’s getting late,” he says, holding a hand out to you.
You don’t hesitate to take his hand and follow him into the tree, nothing else is said.
Surprisingly, the walk isn’t too long. It’s dark, gloomy, and a bit cold, but it’s not terrible. At the end of the tunnel, there’s a door. Something in Remus’s posture shifts, almost as if he’s anxious. You squeeze his hand to try to reassure him of whatever he needs, he gives you a smile through the dark that makes your cheeks warm.
The shrieking shack isn’t big, not at all. It’s a simple building with a few rooms and a short staircase. Remus brings the two of you to what you presume is the bedroom though the only indicator is a mattress, blanket, and pillow on the floor. There’s a small fireplace in the room as well, shockingly full of wood and some candles placed near the mattress. The entire shack is creaky and dusty, but you don’t mind. As long as there’s no ghosts, it’s perfect. Remus lets go of your hand and moves to start a fire. You sit down on the mattress and light the candles around.
“What do you guys use this place for?” You ask.
“It’s just a place we come to sometimes when we don’t want to be around other people,” he answers. His back is still turned to you, you could stare at it all day. “Sirius was the first one to discover it wasn’t haunted.”
“Oh? How did he find that out?”
“He’s always been the bravest out of us, though I think he just wanted another rule to break.”
You chuckle. “That sounds like him.”
He finally stands and turns to face you, a bright fire burning behind him. “You would know, you shagged him.”
“Oh, shut up,” you say as you slide off your shoes.
He begins to walk to you. “Can I ask you a question?”
“This context doesn’t seem good, but yes you can,” you reply.
“Be completely honest, out of the three of us, who’s the best?”
He’s standing right in front of you now. You look up at him, a coy smile on your lips, and begin to untie his shoelaces. “You are of course.”
“For some reason, I think your answer is biased,” he says with a laugh.
You trail your hands up his legs after he steps out of his sneakers, stopping once you reach his belt buckle. It quickly gets undone. “What would make you say that?”
He laughs again. “Just a hunch I guess.”
Your moment of control is taken fast when he pushes you down on the mattress, his lips attacking yours. It isn’t a lie though; he is the best. Unlike with Sirius and James, you share such deeper feelings for Remus. Each time he touches you, you practically melt into the palm of his hand. He’s caring. He’s gentle, but rough when need be. Though the two of you argue sometimes, it always is resolved with a hug, a kiss, or a shag. So, in the simplest of words, Remus Lupin is the perfect boy in every way.
All your clothes are discarded quickly, his too. He kisses you deeply as he uses his fingers on you. Sometimes you wonder where he’s learned all his skills from, but even thinking about him with another girl has started to make your stomach hurt. Instead, you focus on how good two of his fingers feel inside you. They’re so long, so slender. More than once in class you’ve been completely distracted by the sight of his hands, specifically his fingers, even more specifically when he’s wearing rings on them. They feel just as you imagine, extraordinary.
When you cum, you’re moaning a mess into his mouth, your body shaking. He milks every last bit of your orgasm out of you before stopping. You watch through heavy lids as he sucks his fingers clean of your cum, the sight makes you audibly groan.
“I need you,” you whisper, running one of your hands through his hair.
“Do you?” There’s something in the tone of his voice mixed with the way he’s looking at you that makes your heart ache in your chest.
You nod. “In so many ways Rem.”
“Promise?”
“Always.”
He moves inside you slowly at first, but he finds a decent pace after a few minutes. Because of his height, you weren’t at all surprised at the size of his cock. It’s by far the biggest you’ve ever encountered and the best. Though sometimes it leaves you sore, it always leaves you in a daze of dopamine.
Remus struggles to keep his head at your level as he fucks you. He presses soft kisses to your forehead, one of his hands intertwined with yours. You’ve never felt such intimacy in your life, it almost makes tears form in your eyes.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he says, his voice shaky. “Even if it’s not true.”
“I’m yours, Rem, completely,” you reply. His hips meet yours harder, and you moan. “All yours I’m all yours.”
Neither of you lasts much longer than that.
In the aftermath as the two of you hold each other, he rests his head on your chest. You run your fingers through his hair softly, the sound of his breathing like music to your ears. It’s at this moment you realize just how deeply you care for him. You hate what you did with that silly plan, but you don’t think you’d change it. If ending up in this moment only came from the plan, you’d do it over a million times.
“Is this real?” Remus asks after some time.
You sigh and press a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes. This is real.”
And so, it is.
406 notes · View notes
dailyatydsp · 2 years
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"Sirius cringed, realising the hat could read his thoughts, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking. It was a good enough reason to go to Slytherin, wasn’t it? To make his family proud? And he’d have Reg to think about, he’d have to look out for Reg…
Very interesting, young Sirius, very interesting indeed.
...if this stupid hat would just shut up and get on with it, then everything would be fine, he just needed it to say—
“GRYFFINDOR!”
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lovechar · 3 months
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Silver Necklace.
pairing; Regulus Black x Potter!Reader
summary; after being paired with regulus black in potions class, you manage to slowly become friends. he steals your heart and it’s only a matter of time till he breaks it.
warnings; overall just angst, bits of fluff, mentions of sex (just asking about it, no smut), making out, enemies to lovers-esque
notes; fem!reader, mean-ish(??) regulus at start, no use of y/n, kinda long fic so not proof read, ps. i know sirius is 1959 but it works out better if he’s 1960 so don’t come at me, also, i read atyd for this .. (so this is kinda influenced by that)
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Every passing day, you swore your heart ached more and more. Every glance you cast over to him in the halls, passing by as if strangers when not even a couple months ago you had been laughing and confiding in each other like idiots.
He had become so lifeless in such a short amount of time. You felt as if your grasp on your once joyful life had slipped through your fingers like coarse grains of sand.
Sooner than later, you had found yourself conflicted. Battling between wanting him by your side but having your beliefs clash. Then it was revealed and all was lost. You just wish you had the strength to go on as if he didn’t exist, like you used to.
It had all started during your fifth year at Hogwarts. You normally kept to yourself, only really talking to your friends and of course the boys: James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. In all honesty, you forgot Regulus existed most of the time.
That was till you two were paired for a potions class. He was very intelligent, you must admit. But also quite snarky.
“You will each be assigned a partner and then I would like you to work together to brew a specific potion,” your Potions Master, Professor Slughorn babbled on. “You will be given a maximum time period of three weeks to complete the potion then will be graded on it.”
You sort of tuned out after that. The professor kept talking, listing out names and assigning the pairs a specific potion. Your head snapped back in his direction when he called out your name. “And . . . Regulus Black.” Your eyes met his stoic grey ones. Merlin, he looked so similar to Sirius yet so unique, you thought, holding the same dark hair and high placed cheekbones. You must admit he was very good looking.
“You all will be making a Polyjuice Potion, which you can find in page 57 of your books. The lacewing flies, I have already stewed for each of you to save time. I advise you also check your potions some evenings to make sure they’re going well. ” Walking over to a table as Regulus Black followed, you pulled out your potion making book. The boy beside you watched as you flicked through the pages, looking for the Polyjuice potion, still not uttering a word to you.
Finally, you found it. “Aha!” You mumbled as the corners of your lips quirked up slightly. After sitting in silence, you had decided to spark up conversation.
“Here’s the ingredients list. Could you get the cauldron ready while I gather the other ingredients?” Your eyes once again looked up to meet his as he muttered out a gravelly response and did as you asked.
After twenty minutes, the bell had rung commencing the end of class. You turned to Regulus to say something to him but he had already left. With a sigh, you gathered your things and headed to your next class.
You were now sitting with Lily in the Great Hall, waiting on your brother and his friends. “I’m stuck paired with Sirius’ brother for Potions. He’s barely said a word to me at all, don’t you think that’s a bit strange?” You asked the red-haired girl, while casting a gaze over the Slytherin Table. Lily had replied but her words went through your ears as you studied the black and green robes. Your eyes flickered over to Regulus Black. He sat chatting to Evan Rosier.
“There they are,” a familiar voice came, before the person owning it plunked down beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Hi Sirius,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile. James sat across from him, beside Lily, and Remus had took a spot on the opposite side of you. “Hi Moony,” you had said when the brown haired boy ruffed your hair. “Hello to them but not to your own brother,” James frowned. You rolled your eyes playfully, “Hi James.”
The group made small talk and you (once again) tuned out. You sort of had a habit of that. Glancing around the Great Hall, your eye connected once again to your potions partner. Surprisingly, his were already set in your direction, glaring at the back of James’ head, then across to his brother. Then the grey-toned orbs clicked with your own. Hurriedly looking away, your cheeks burned at being caught staring at him. Weird, he was already watching us, you had thought. Shrugging off your thoughts, you decided to just forget about that embarrassing moment.
Trudging through the halls to potions class, you had arrived with a few minutes till class started. It was when you were gathering your things again and setting it down to the table that Regulus Black stepped over and took a place beside you. You were reminded of catching him watching your group yesterday, but quickly dismissed it.
“Hi,” you said while gathering the Polyjuice ingredients, not bothering to lift your head up to the boy. You glanced up to him with furrowed brows when you were met with no reply. He gazed down at you with a condescending look on his grey, dark eyes. “Right . . well, we should start. There’s 4 parts; we should have this done by the last class till it’s due.”
Regulus stood in front of the cauldron and you held the book in the crevice of your elbow. “It says here: Add 3 measures of fluxweed.” Grabbing the container of fluxweed, he added what was needed into the cauldron. “I don’t need you to read me out everything, I am not illiterate,” the Black brother grumbled, laced with an irritated tone. His voice was smooth and pronounced and you would’ve wished for him to speak a little more, had his words not been so unkind. It reminded you heavily of his elder brother’s; aristocratic and noble.
With a scoff, you threw the book down onto the table to the right of the boy. “Well, what do you suppose I do if you’re going to make the potion?” Regulus ignored you, not having a response to your question.
“Move.” You pushed Regulus out of the way of the cauldron, following the next step in the guide. “What do you think you’re doing?” His brows were angled down and his colourless eyes narrowed into a glare. “Well, if you won’t let me help, I’m not going to let you brew the whole thing. Who says you wont fuck it up?” “I would mess it up? God, you Potters are so obnoxious,” he spat.
“Mister Black, Miss Potter. Do we have a problem?” Slughorn asked the two of you. “No, Professor,” Regulus answered as quick as it was asked. He had reciprocated your actions, shoving you out of the way and taking control of the potion again. He grabbed your wrist in a tight, iron grip that it was almost sore. “Shut up, and do not cause another scene.” He glowered at you before finally letting go of your wrist. There was a red ring in the tracing of where he grasped your arm so roughly. You wouldn’t be surprised if it bruised.
The Marauders and you had sat in the Gryffindor common room along with one of your dorm mates, Marlene McKinnon. “Merlin, Sirius. Your brother is the biggest git I’ve ever met.” Sirius, who sat on the ground beside the fireplace, gave you a puzzled look. “Why? What’s he done?” You had explained the situation that had occurred during potions. Sirius had only replied with an ‘oh’. You rolled your eyes at the dry response but had left it at that.
Marlene spoke up from beside you on the couch. “Did you lot hear, Lucius Malfoy’s planning on joining the Death Eaters?” Her soft voice echoed through the empty common room. “He’s hardly actually going to join,” James spoke up, doubt written all over his face, “He barely left school. Only a couple years ago.”
“He was a Slytherin, them lot are the type. Horrid,” Marlene spoke again. The Death Eaters were starting to gain more members but you hadn’t thought people you knew would start joining.
Rising from your seat on the couch had caught Marlene’s attention. “Where are you going?” The bright blonde questioned you. “Just goin’ to check on Slughorn’s assignment. You want me to check yours? James, I’m borrowing the invisibility cloak.” You didn’t bother waiting for an answer before taking it.
“Yes, please. Thanks mate.” She flashed you a beaming smile and you exited your house’s common room.
It was late now and you were unsure if it was even a good idea leaving the common room at this time. The prefects were probably done their patrol by now, leaving just you and creepy old Filch wandering the halls alone. It was fine though, he wouldn’t be able to see you with the cloak on.
“Lumos,” you whispered, holding your wand out as the cloak draped over your lower arm. The tip of your vine wood wand came alight in a blue-white colour, brightening the hall for you to be able to roam freely with vision.
It wasn’t long till you navigated your way to the Potions class, carefully pushing the door ajar so that it wouldn’t let out it’s usual croaks. Upon stepping inside, your—well, James’ actually—invisibility cloak was thrown off and ditched onto the cold tiles of Slughorn’s classroom.
Stepping further into the classroom, majority of the room was dark, aside from a corner where your cauldron happened to be. An illuminating light, that appeared to be the Lumos charm, lit the crevice of the room. A dark figure stood with it’s back to you. Would it be too late to slip back on the cloak and run back to your dorm?
The answer to that was already decided when the figure spoke as it turned to your direction, “Who’s there?” It appeared to be the younger Black brother. When your eyes had met, his face quickly turned to a scowl.
“Oh, just you, Potter.” His voice seemed to be laced with venom when he had spat your surname. “What are you doing here?” You asked, cautiously stepping up to the cauldron and the angsty boy. Peering into the cauldron, your potion seemed to be doing fine. “What does it look like? Someone has to check on it, seeing as you don’t.” Regulus’ tone was harsh. You scratched the back of your head and walked over to another cauldron; Marlene and her partner’s. The boy just watched you as you checked if hers was going well.
“Sorry, I just forgot. You were the one who was so sure that you didn’t need my help anyway.” He just ignored your comment. “Listen, you can check on it on Thursday and I’ll check on it Saturday. We’ll keep watching it every two nights, taking turns. Alright with you?” He pondered for a minute over your decision before agreeing to it. “Alright.”
You walked into the great hall, venturing over to the Gryffindor table and taking a seat between Peter and James. “Morning,” you greeted, it being followed with repetition. “Big quidditch game this Friday; first of the season. You all coming to watch?” James asked to the group. “Obviously, when have I missed one,” you grinned up to him. You took pride in showing up to support him for his matches. He is your big brother, of course. “Who’re you playing?” Sirius questioned. “Ravenclaw,” James replied with a smirk.
“Pity, Sirius, that you got kicked off the team. You were probably the best beater we had, alongside Marlene,” you recalled. “I know, but I deserved it.,” Sirius groaned. A remorseful grin was evident on his face, recollecting the memory. “Of course, you deserved it after what you tried to do to Sev.” Lily had an angry frown on her face.
“Don’t know why you even hang out with that freak anyway,” Remus taunted. James joined the conversation again, “He’s pure evil.”
As Lily argued with the elder boys to defend her best friends name, you could feel eyes burning into the back of your head. You sat facing the Hufflepuff table, so the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables were behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you were encased in an uncomfortable sense of eye contact with Regulus Black himself. His eyes widened a little from their previous narrowed glare when yours connected but he glanced away just after.
The day had gone quickly. It was already noon, meaning it was time for Potions, seeing as it was a Wednesday. Marlene and you had headed together to class, arriving and taking your places at your own designated cauldrons. The black haired boy was already there.
“Have you started the next step?” You had asked, standing beside him and opening the textbook onto the right page again. “No, I need you to crush two lacewing flies.”
And, that’s how the rest of your potion classes with Regulus Black went. Just loitering alongside him and aimlessly following any instructions he would give you in silence. To your content, he hadn’t said anything patronising to you. But he hadn’t said anything to you, conversation wise either. That was, till the one today. You had been measuring out the bicorn horn, getting ready to crush it to a powder, when Regulus spoke up. “I’ve noticed how well Sirius and your little gang get along.”
You raised your head to look up at him with a ‘hm?’. “I’ve never saw him smile or laugh as much as he does with your lot in my entire life,” he continued. “Well, he is best friends with James,” you had piped up, slightly bemused on why he was bringing this up. He had refused to look at you, instead staring down into the brewing and bubbling potion. “Ah yes, I forgot about my replacement.” If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he had a tinge of jealousy or resentment in his voice. Why would he be jealous?
“I wouldn’t call him a replacement. Sirius thinks highly of you, even if he doesn’t show it,” you had attempted to reassure him. This resulted in an irked scoff and finally, his eyes had met yours for the first time this whole class. “Thinks highly of me? That’s a proper joke. He doesn’t give a toss about me, seeing as he attempts to abandon me with our overbearing parents each Christmas and Summer. I’m sure he’s told you all about our loving mother.” His voice was edged with so much sarcasm and bitterness you could drown in it. His last words held a sardonic tone and made you feel tense. You didn’t know what to say, so you decided on not uttering a word.
It had been 2 days since your last conversation with Regulus Black. Luckily, it had been a Thursday, so you didn’t have to be in his grudgeful presence till Monday which was the last day anyway for this stupid project.
Once again, you had stolen James’ cloak, heading out after hours when all the prefects had already done their checks. It was your turn to watch over your potion. When Slughorn said that the students should look over their potions in the evenings, he probably didn’t intend to do it this late, but it was more fun like this. A twinge of excitement erupted in your chest thinking about it. You were nearly finished after weeks of begrudgingly stirring, chopping up and grinding ingredients and following orders.
Stepping soundlessly into the room, you crept over to the cauldron belonging to you and Regulus. You stirred the sludgy mixture with a tinge of disrelish, nearly gagging from how repulsive it was. You were unaware of the presence who joined you in the room mere minutes after; inching towards you, feet not making a squeak against the shadowy tiles.
After concluding that your assignment was going fine, you had turned to head back to the Gryffindor dorms. Your heart jumped and you let out a quiet, shocked gasp. A man stood behind you. Upon seeing his face, your shoulders relaxed and eyebrows twisted into a frown—although, not genuinely cross. The corners of his lips pricked up into a grin (which looked like he was attempting to conceal) before falling back to their normal, neutral position.
“Merlin, Black. Nearly gave me a heart attack there,” you lightly scolded. “Why’re you here? It’s my day to check.” He walked past you over to the cauldron, arms brushing and you felt a light rush of breeze. He was now standing to your right and you turned to face him once again as he spoke, “Couldn’t sleep. I decided to check on the potion, there isn’t much else to do in this bloody castle.”
You had replied with a mere ‘oh’. He gazed into the potion for a minute, then his eyes met yours. Embarrassingly, you scrambled to pick up your wand, then walked over to the door to grab the cloak that lay sprawled out on the floor.
“Are you in a rush?” His looming voice echoed through the room. You hesitated before replying, “No.” His next words had sprung some surprise in you, but you tried to not show it on your features; instead, aiming for a calm expression. “Would you like to go for a walk?”
After reluctantly contemplating the scenarios in your head of what he was trying to get at with this—possibly trying to attack you in a more secretive place, no one would catch him. No, that’s silly. If he wanted to attack you he would’ve already done it. Plus, he isn’t pure evil like ‘Snivellus’ Snape; and he would have no reason to ambush you—you agreed: “Alright.” His expression seemed to slightly change to a aplomb manner.
Following Regulus and sauntering through the halls together, some minutes in pure silence, some in light chatter, you both had managed to end up in the Hogwarts Astronomy Tower. The previously harsh wind settled to a leisurely breeze. Regulus had mimicked your actions, leaning against the metal railings of the tower. The whole atmosphere held a sort of serenity you felt that you’ve never experienced before; you were friends with the Marauders, of course, and nothing was ever tranquil with them boys.
Your gaze had flickered over to the boy beside you. His long, black hair was moving delicately in the zephyr. It reminded you of gentle waves moving through the ocean, but you then realised that was a silly comparison. You never really took your time to observe Regulus Black. His face was strongly chiselled—almost as if he was carved by that muggle, Michelangelo—elegant looking, really. He looked similar to Sirius, just younger and with his own distinctive characteristics.
Looking away as to not get caught staring like before, you realised you were both basking in silence for a few minutes. That was until you looked back to him and noticed Regulus’ dubious conscience to break it. Finally, he spoke. “I’m—Sorry for freaking out in potions the last day,” he blurted out in a weak whisper. “Wha-” I replied, confused for a second before speaking again—as so he didn’t feel sheepish. “. . It’s fine.”
‘Serenity.’ You could almost laugh if you were alone right now. How ironic, the thought of the once calm atmosphere being shrivelled up and thrown out like paper, replaced with this unbearably silent tension. “Sirius meant the world to me, growing up. He was like a hero, in my eyes,” Regulus’ voice was more clear now, and he let out an airy laugh in spite of himself. “Merlin, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t even want to—”
“No. It’s alright.” Your voice was firm, encouraging him to continue; and so he did. “I-We—We did everything. Now, he does it all with James. Wont even spare me a glance in the halls, during breakfast.” His voice trailed off and he went silent again.
His eyes haven’t met yours in a while and you were guessing they might’ve been glossy, and he’d have been embarrassed if they were. “Regulus. Your brother, Sirius. He loves you, so much more than you’d think. He just . . doesn’t express it well. He doesn’t know how to. It’s spiteful. He just feels different from you; always going on about how you’re the golden child and he’s the black sheep.” Black sheep of the Blacks. Ironic, yet again.
You both savoured the silence for a few minutes, settling on cherishing the midnight sky and how the starts shimmered like glitter. Regulus decided to change the topic, “Did you know, my family are all named after astrology, stars, constellations and all? Most, anyway; my ancestors must’ve been interested in sabaism.”
His appealing voice caught my attention and I turned to glance at him. “Really? Is Regulus one?” He adorned a small smile now. It was refreshing after being caught for days in his usual tempers. “Yes. My father’s called Orion. That’s a constellation. Sirius, the dog star. Orion’s dog.”
You listened attentively as he rambled on. “My cousin, Bellatrix, named after a star. Andromeda’s a constellation. I can go on further but we’d be here all night.” His silvery eyes shone in the night sky—it was majestic—and met yours, accompanied with a glowing smile on his sharp traits. You just returned the smile.
“You know, you’re quite alright, Potter.” This took you by surprise. Regulus Black (sort of) complimenting you? You’d have never thought the day would come. With a light laugh and smug but suppressed grin, you replied: “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself, Black.” This persuaded a chuckle to slip past his pink lips. It was a deep, short laugh.
Letting a few more minutes pass up in the astronomy tower, you both had now agreed to head back to your common rooms. Now walking down the halls with the tips of your wands lighting the way, you had been making small talk with the boy.
How unexpected this whole situation was. If you had told yourself a week ago that you’d be wandering the halls past midnight with Regulus Arcturus Black, you would’ve been in disbelief.
James’ invisibility cloak was draped casually around your shoulders. The pale moonlight shone through the windows of the castle, painting streaks across Regulus and your faces’ each time passing one.
“You know,” you paused for a minute before continuing. “You’re welcome to stay with my family and I over Christmas.” You noticed the conflicted look on his face upon hearing your words, but nevertheless, kept talking. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind. James has Remus over each year, and Sirius when he can. You’d be able to spend more time with your brother.”
He let out a mockingly amused snigger. “I think my parents would go mental if they found out both their heirs have gone rebel.” You let out a small giggle with this but then your lips settled to a gentle, closed smile. Regulus seemed to mirror your actions and you had settled into a comfortable silence again.
Till, of course, that was broken once again. But this time, not by you nor Regulus. “Who’s there?” A gruff voice echoed behind you both from past the corner of the long corridor. Shit! You had completely forgotten about Filch. Giving Regulus a panicked look—to which he shot straight back—you quickly whispered: “Nox,” and extinguished the light from your wand. Regulus had done the same so now you were both lost in the dark halls of Hogwarts, only having the blue-toned moonlight as a source to see as it glimmered off your silver bracelet.
Unexpectedly, the cloak was stripped from your shoulders, leaving a slightly cold breeze in its place. “What are you—” You whisper-screamed to Regulus but you were interrupted when his dainty fingers wrapped around your face, his palm covering your mouth.
He gave you a stern look, as if to say, ‘just shut up and trust me,’ and so you did. He threw the cloak across the two of you, backing you up against the wall (nearly knocking a painting down in the process).
Under the cloak, it was darker than before and quite stuffy. You had never shared the cloak with someone else like the Marauders did, so you weren’t used to this. Your hands reached up and removed the hand splayed across your lips. Your position was also uncomfortable, being pressed up against the wall with Regulus towering over you. It seemed like all your senses were heightened.
One arm was just above your head, holding himself up and he brought the other in between you both to hold up his wand. “Lumos,” he said in a sotto voice. The light was dimmer than usual but lit up between both your faces.
Footsteps approached. Filch was drawing nearer and nearer. Your eyes connected to his and in this lighting, you had realised how small the proximity between you really was, causing a small pink to tint your cheeks. It seems as he noticed too, as the sharp corners of his cheekbones were softened by a dull rouge.
It was as if you were inspecting him under a microscope. All his features were so close to your reach; all displayed right in front of your eyes. Eyes. His had a thin lining of artic blue around his pupils which you only discovered by being this close to him. They stared right back at you and you felt the blush crawl all through the back of your neck and hung high on your cheeks. “What are you gawping at?” His tone was soft yet also appeared harsh. Guess he’s still the same Regulus. “Sorry.”
Merlin, time drove so slowly when you were waiting for it to go. You felt hot and self-conscious under Regulus’ gaze, but attempted to shrug it off. I’m sure he’s just as embarrassed of this situation as you felt. Thinking back to what you said earlier, elegant was an understatement; this boy was angelic.
After what felt like forever, Filch finally came creeping down the corridor. Your body made sure you were aware of your heightened rubatosis as Filch drew closer. Regulus and you had waited with baited breath as he passed. Your eyes followed Filch from behind Regulus but it seems his never left you. Luckily, he didn’t suspect nor notice you two at all—well, how could he when you were both under the invisibility cloak.
Once he had turned the corner, both of you had collectively let out a sigh (one you didn’t even know you were holding in). Regulus had waited a small bit longer—probably just incase Filch comes back—and then stepped away from you. The invisibility cloak fell to your feet, and you hesitantly disconnected the eye contact to pick it up. You were sure your cheeks were still rosy as you could feel the heat still burning from them.
The rest of the journey back was glazed over with a tense, suffocating silence. You didn’t know what to say after that and you doubt Regulus did either. Eventually, you had reached the changing staircases. “Goodnight,” you bid him goodbye as you treaded up the stairs to Gryffindor’s common room.
Turning your back away from him and following up the staircase, you had heard a small ‘goodnight’ come from Regulus. That night you had went to bed with ruddy cheeks and a buzzing in your stomach.
It was the day that your potion assignment was due and frankly, you were quite nervous about it. You had desperately hoped you’d get a good grade, seeing as you really had tried with this project, and the amount of time spent on it.
Marlene walked alongside you out of Transfiguration. “Godric, Professor McGonagall really has it out for me,” she complained, her brows furrowed and whiny. “What makes you think that?” Your blonde friend had nearly answered before you even questioned her, “She always gets cross when something goes wrong for me, but she just loves bloody Dirk Cresswell. Never gives out to him,” she sneered. You both made your way to the Potions classroom. “Think it’s because I’m half-blood.”
You let out a defeated sigh, “Marlene, you do realise Professor McGonagall is half-blood too . .” Her annoyed expression fell and Marlene just replied with an ‘oh’.
Slughorn was now going through the room, grading each potion. You heard a couple ‘acceptable’s, two ‘exceeds expectations,’ one ‘outstanding’ and even three ‘poor’s. Once your potion was graded, you were dismissed from the class.
You waited anxiously with Regulus standing beside you. Neither of you had said anything yet; you were far too nervous to, and still a little embarrassed from the other night. You would’ve hated to have spent 3 weeks on this just for it to turn out to be shit.
At long last, Professor Slughorn stood infront of you both, peering into the small cauldron. “Outstanding, Miss Potter and Mister Black. Well done, you’re both dismissed.”
Your lips twisted into a proud grin, but you puffed out a small flow of air, trying to keep the grin in that just grew wider. Following Slughorn’s orders, you had rushed out of the classroom and headed a little down the halls from the class.
“Wait, Potter,” you heard in that oh-so-familiar voice. Turning around, you faced Regulus Black with a wide smirk. “Yes, Black?” He swiftly caught up to you, towering over in front of you again. “I just wanted to say, good job. Wouldn’t mind working with you again, as partners.” He let a smug grin adorn his lips. “Thanks. That wouldn’t be too bad, I suppose.” You flashed him a pearly-white smile, before turning back and continuing to walk down the halls.
It had been a few weeks since you were graded in potions and much to your content, Regulus Black and you had grown closer. You would even dare call yourself friends with the boy. Your brother was a little skeptical about the friendship—as well as Sirius, and the other two Marauders too—but you assured them it was fine.
Speaking of Sirius, his birthday had passed and Lily, James, Remus, Peter and you had arranged a little ‘Sweet-Sixteen’ birthday for him. It was a fun little get together, only consisting of a few friends.
The cool breeze flowed gently through your hair. “You know, I don’t really see why you’re friends with all them horrid boys. Like seriously, Barty Crouch, Evan Rosier, even Snape. Cop on, Black.” You both sat on the course ground of the Astronomy Tower. He let out a breathy laugh, “You think I’m friends with Snape? Not even people in my house like Snape. His only friends are Mulciber and Lily Evans.”
He continued to talk, defending his friends, “and, who do you suppose I be friends with? Xenophilius Lovegood? He’s an odd one.” You let out a strong laugh, tossing your head back before looking to Regulus. Regulus smiled back at you as you laughed. “Poor guy, he’s quite nice actually,” you backed up the Ravenclaw boy.
“Yes! Come on, James!” You screamed, throwing your arms up in celebration as your older brother threw the quaffle into a hoop, marking his third goal for Gryffindor. You didn’t mind all the judging looks you earned.
Gryffindor was currently in the lead against Slytherin thanks to James. The commentators voice boomed through the air as each player whizzed past, doing their part for the team.
“And another ten points for Gryffindor!” The crowed around you roared, cheering proudly for their team. “If we keep this up,” Lily said, “we’ll be in the final in no time.” You just nodded to her, eyes still following the quaffle being passed around.
Twenty minutes passed, Slytherin had scored two goals and Gryffindor, one. “What’s that?” The commentator asked rhetorically, “Regulus Black, Slytherin’s seeker has just secured their win, catching the Golden Snitch!” Once again, the Gryffindor crowd went wild, everyone being shocked seeing as how well we had this in our grasp.
Although you were from Gryffindor, you were still just as happy for Regulus being able to win the match. You would’ve even cheered for him—like you do when he’s not playing your team—but you probably would’ve gotten disowned from your own house.
‘James isn’t going to be happy with this,’ you thought. You made your way down and back to the castle, waiting for James and the rest of the boys in the Gryffindor common room.
After waiting for fifteen minutes, they all trudged in, tired and grumpy. You walked over to your brother. “Well done, James! You played so well, tough luck though,” you smiled to him, hoping he wasn’t in too much of a mood. “Thanks,” he ruffled your hair with his sweaty palm, grumbling the reply. “Merlin, you’re so sweaty. Get off me!” You playfully shoved him away, earning a grin from him.
You headed out from the common room and made your way through the halls. Eventually, you reached the Slytherin common room. Leaning against the wall beside the door, you were waiting for someone to head in or come out so you could ask for Regulus.
It took a couple minutes before you spotted Evan Rosier coming your way. “Rosier! Perfect,” you exclaimed as he walked up to the door. “What are you doing here?” His voice was cold but it didn’t seem intentional, instead genuinely asking why. “Would you do me a favor and get Regulus, please?”
He waited for a minute and contemplated his options. “He’s probably fairly busy with his win. But if I do?” You rolled your eyes. Merlin, are all Slytherins so greedy? “Really?” You puffed out a sigh, “I’ll . . do your Ancient Runes homework.” “Deal,” he replied with a grin, “Thanks Potter.”
The blonde headed into the common room and later returned with the dark headed boy a couple minutes after. Regulus wandered out past the door and you stepped up to greet him, Rosier heading back into the room.
“Reg!” You smiled to him, gaining one back. “Well done. I can’t believe you managed that, we were going so well.” You folded your arms across your chest and stood in front of him. “What can I say? Being a great seeker just runs in my blood.” That bit was quite true; his cousin, Narcissa Black was Slytherin’s best seeker, your generation would say so anyway.
“Oh, shut up, you snob,” you giggled. He just held a content smile on his face. “Also . . I have a proposal,” you started. His eyebrow quirked up suspiciously at this, “I’m not sure I should be scared or not.” You flashed a beaming smile again. “No, no. It’s not anything bad,” you reassured him.
He listened contently as your proposed your idea, “I was wondering . . if you’d be able to convince your parents to let you stay at Hogwarts during Christmas break? We could hang out more and you wouldn’t have to put up with them. ” You bit your lip anxiously as you waited to hear what he had to say. His expression didn’t reveal his reactions at all. It was nerve wracking.
He scratched the back of his head, furrowing his brows a little with an unsure smile, “Uh, I’m not sure if they’d let me.” Your face must’ve fell because his eyes widened a little and he quickly spoke again. “Not that I don’t want to—of course. I’ll still ask,” he smiled at you, trying to reassure you he wanted to stay too. “I’ll tell them there’s going to be extra quidditch practices and I need to stay.”
You smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks, Reg. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know.”“No, I do,” he quickly shot back. “No promises though.” You just chuckled, “Alright.”
And so, you spent Christmas break at Hogwarts with Regulus Black, instead of returning home with James, Remus and Sirius.
This was your first time spending Christmas at Hogwarts; there was barely anyone there. You noticed how empty the halls were compared to normal. It was nice though, calming.
The dull winter light shone through the windows of your dorm. It was extremely quiet. You didn’t think you’d miss how loud the girls would be in the mornings till you woke up alone in your dorm room.
It wasn’t long till you were dressed in your own clothes, happy that you had an occasion for not wearing your robes, and ready to head to the Great Halls. Upon arriving, you had realised that you were one of three students in Gryffindor who stayed at Hogwarts (or atleast, was awake and getting breakfast at the Hall).
You sat down at your house table and placed a slice of toast on your plate. The bench creaked as someone sat beside you. Looking up while taking a bite from your toast, you smiled, seeing Regulus sit beside you. “Morning, Reg.”
He greeted you back, grabbing some food for himself and placing it onto his plate. “This is the Gryffindor table. If one of your Slytherins saw you here, they’d never let this go,” you teased. He just shoved you playfully before stuffing a slice of toast in his mouth. “Not very prim and proper for a Black.” You let out a small giggle as he gave you a sidelong glance.
After making light chat to your Slytherin friend, it was a couple hours later now and you had been granted permission to head to Hogsmeade.
The ground was littered with light snow and it looked like a pristine, white blanket from a bird’s eye view. Your arms were wrapped around Regulus’ waist and your head lay gently on his back shoulder, peering down at the ground as you giggled and marvelled at everything. Regulus wasn’t talking much but, neither were you, instead being too busy gazing at the forests and rivers down below.
You landed down just a few metres away from Hogsmeade, Regulus letting you off the broomstick first before getting off himself. “That was fun,” you smiled. You weren’t used to riding your broomstick much, seeing as you don’t play quidditch so you didn’t have much use of it. “Yeah.”
The snow was crunchy under your boots as you both strolled into the High Street of Hogsmeade. “I need to get some things,” you told the boy, “I’ll catch you later. I’ll meet you at the Three Broomsticks.” He just nodded, carrying his broom by his side. “Alright. Half an hour sound good?”
Regulus went on his way as you trotted down to Honeydukes. You weren’t sure what to get everyone as gifts so you decided upon this. You already bought James a new quidditch set as the one at home was all battered and bruised up. You had bought Sirius some new cologne he had been talking about—that you assumed he only wanted because Remus had complimented it a while back—and you had got Remus a few books about magical creatures. Peter would like a box of chocolate frogs from Honeydukes, seeing as they were his favourite.
You had also got things for Lily, Marlene and the other girls. But you just couldn’t decide what to get Regulus. You decided to leave it and that you’d figure something out.
Honeydukes was a cosy little shop located in the centre of Hogsmeade. You entered the shop, alerting the shopkeeper with a small ring from the bell. Rows and rows of sweets were piled up all the way to the ceiling on teal-turquoise shelves. This really was a sweet tooth’s heaven.
“Ah, Miss Potter, how can I assist you?” The shopkeeper greeted. “Hello!” You sent him a charming smile, “Could I get a box of chocolate frogs, please.” The shopkeeper was lovely, helping you and even wrapping it up for you in a delicate, silver wrapping paper. You thanked him on your way out.
Now, time to find Regulus something. You wandered through Hogsmeade till you approached a shop supplied with quidditch items. Peering through the window, the newly released, Nimbus 1009 laying gleaming in its spot. A new broom, of course! You knew that being a Black meant he could probably afford as many of these as he’d like, but it’s the thought that counts.
It had now been half an hour since you last saw Regulus and you sat alone at a wooden table by the fireplace, sipping away at your butterbeer. A small bell jingled as people entered and your head raised, waiting for Regulus to come. You’d already bought a butterbeer for him, and it sat longingly across from you on the table.
Once again, the bell had rung. In entered your friend, taking a seat across from you. “Finally,” you huffed, “took you long enough. We said half an hour.” He rolled his eyes and grinned, taking a swing from the drink in front of him. A small cream moustache lay across the top of his lips till he licked them, then spoke, “Oh shush. I’m only five minutes past, thanks for this.” He gestured to the butterbeer, drinking some more.
After finishing your beverages, you and Regulus had headed back to Hogwarts. Regulus had flown you both back on his broomstick once again and you were back in no time; flying was much quicker than taking the path over to Hogwarts.
You woke up, rubbing your eyes and yawning—still slightly tired. Then you shot up from your bed. It’s Christmas! You hurriedly ran to get changed and rushed down to the great hall.
Regulus was already seated at the Slytherin table. Once he spotted you, a friendly smile broke out alone his features. You were quick to fire one back, darting over to where he sat. You plunked down across from the boy.
“Merry Christmas, Reg!” You cheered, feeling giggly and excited. “Happy Christmas,” he smirked back. He looked far more posh today than normal. His jet-black hair was swept back with more gel and he held a more presentable, Black family look today—if that makes sense.
You both shared light conversation over breakfast, agreeing to share presents tonight at the astronomy tower. You both had received letters and gifts from family, opening them together at the dining table. The whole day was spent with Regulus, but you didn’t mind, you enjoyed his company. ‘It’s so strange how I once thought he was an absolute prick—not even too long ago as well,’ you thought to yourself.
It was now half-past eight and Regulus was waiting for you on the astronomy tower, leaning on the rails holding a small box in his hands. You reached the top of the tower, finding Regulus standing which his back to you.
You walked up to him, the broom clasped behind your back—trying to conceal it, but that’s a bit hard seeing as it’s a whole broomstick. “Reguluss,” you purred, catching the attention of the boy. He turned around with a grin and you could say you were equally as excited as him. He also held something behind his back with one hand, not letting you see it.
“Open yours first,” you smiled, handing over the present to him. It was quite obvious what you got him. You weren’t the best gift wrapper. “I wonder what it is,” he sardonically chuckled, unwrapping it and seeing that it was the newly released broom.
His eyes met yours and his smile stretched up to the bottom of his cheeks. “Thank you, shit, I didn’t expect this one. This is brand new, Merlin’s beard, not even my parents would buy me something like this.” You smiled at him and he placed the broom to the ground before scurrying forwards, coming towards you.
You weren’t sure what he was doing till his arms wrapped around your waist and he spun you around. You gripped his shoulders, looking into his eyes. “Regulus! Put me down,” you giggled loudly.
After spinning you lightly, he placed you down, keeping one hand still on your waist—which made your cheeks heat up, but it wasn’t noticeable in the dim lighting—but bringing the other between you. On his palm, a small, forest green box. “For you, m’lady.” He held a small grin on his face, and you just let out an airy laugh at him. “Thank you, good sir,” you replied, picking up the box.
Unwrapping the thin golden ribbon around it, inside the box revealed a silver necklace, a charm on it that read your name. “Regulus . .” you marvelled at it, taking it out from the box. “It’s gorgeous.”
He smiled gently at you, taking it from your grasp and walking around you. You eyed him as he passed, feeling his presence right behind you. “Can you move your hair?” He asked, and you pulled it together and held it to the side as he wrapped the necklace around your neck with delicate hands.
“Thank you,” you murmured, a faint blush on your cheeks upon feeling his hand brush the rear of your neck. The stroke of his fingers sent goosebumps tingling down your spine. A strange eruption of tickles could be felt in your stomach, like butterflies.
He stood behind you for a moment before you turned around to face him, showing the necklace sitting high upon your collarbones. Your cheeks were still pink, you knew as you could feel the slight burn of them.
The distance between you both was thin, you could faintly feel his breaths. His icey, storm grey eyes peered down at you, flickering along the plains of your face. You felt small under his brooding stare.
He looked like he was conflicted, eyes switching from your eyes to down your face. You matched his actions unconsciously.
Before you knew it, Regulus leaned in, closing the gap between the both of you. Subconsciously, you closed your eyes and mirrored his actions. You felt his lips graze yours lightly, not fully touching. Oh, them lips. How soft and plump they felt.
And then, he pressed them against yours. It felt magical (which is ironic, considering you were living in the Wizarding World). Your lips moved in sync. Regulus’ other hand moved to hold the opposite side of your waist, pulling you a little closer to him.
Your hands flew up to place themselves on top of his chest. After a few more kisses, you pushed away, gasping for air but trying not to show it. “Reg—” You started but was quickly cut off by him. “Don’t say anything. I’m sorry,” your eyebrows furrowed at the boy but he wasn’t looking, instead looking down at his shoes.
“I shouldn’t done that.” One hand was brought up to his mouth and he slid his fingers across his lips, wiping them off. “Wha—What?” You asked. “No, it’s alright,” you assured him. “I . . . I liked it.” Your fingers fidgeted behind your back and as soon as his stormy eyes, whipped up to meet yours, you sent him a small, closed smile.
It was only now that you had finally realised how you felt about the boy. The way your heart fluttered every time he smiled at you. The delicious ache in your chest you got every time you laughed with him or he laughed because of you. You’d fallen for Regulus Black—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
The proximity between you two had decreased as you stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, fingers settling to play with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck. You placed a gentle kiss on his lips once again; then one on each side of the corner of his lips. They twisted into a grin. But not a mischievous one, this time, an endearing one that made your stomach flutter.
Everything going on at this moment made your stomach flutter. “Would you . . . want to be my girlfriend?” Hesitation was evident in his voice. You could almost giggle at how cute you thought he was when he was shy. “Of course, Regulus.” You both shared a smile and the corner of his eyes crinkled.
This time, you leaned forward, initiating the kiss. Your mouths slotted together and his hands slid further across your waist till you were completely in his arms. It was obvious, feeling him grin against you with your lips pressed together and next thing you knew, you were being spun around, causing you to erupt into a fit of giggles.
It was now coming towards the end of June. Christmas break was now long past and you and Regulus had been going out for almost six months. You didn’t bother keeping it a secret, and Regulus’ pals didn’t mind so much—only considering you were pure-blooded. Not keeping it hidden doesn’t mean you went prancing around letting everyone know. Also, it doesn’t mean you wanted Sirius to find out on his own . .
You were sitting in the Gryffindor common room one night. The girls had already gone off to bed but you decided to stay up a little bit longer with your brother and his friends.
Of course, Peter had already gone to bed as well as Remus leaving shortly after. They were so preoccupied with their exams and having good sleep for them. But, they were doing their O.W.L.s, so you understand why they were so stressed and pressured to do well. Sirius never bothered with exams, so he didn’t mind staying up. Naturally, he dragged James along with him to stay in the common room.
You lay, sprawled across the couch, legs sitting on top of Sirius’ and James stood by the fireplace. You were getting tired. Your eyelids struggling to keep themselves open in the cosy heat the fire provided.
That was till Sirius blurted out: “Are you shagging my brother?” As if it meant nothing. James’ head whipped over to look at Sirius as fast as yours did. Eyes blown wide and mouth gone dry all of a sudden, you stumbled over a response. “I—What.” Your cheeks were scarlet red and burning with embarrassment.
“You heard what I said,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. “Sirius! No, I’m not.” James hadn’t said a word, still staring at Sirius with a gaping expression. “Are you snogging Regulus?” He continued to pry with these personal questions.
You moved your legs off him, sitting up on the sofa and wrapping your arms around your knees, burying your head into your the crevice between them both. “Uhm . . . yeah,” you managed to squeak out.
Unfortunately, Sirius didn’t quite catch that, asking you to repeat yourself. “Yeah. Merlin’s beard, I was gonna tell you.” You ran your hands down your face with a discontent huff. “I’m not mad.” Sirius let out an amused laugh.
You peaked one eye past two fingers, looking at the dark haired boy. He held an entertained grin. Lowering your hands, you looked over to James who happened to have the exact same smirk plastered on his face. “Can’t believe you’ve snogged someone before our Moony,” James sniggered. “Oh, shut it.” Even though there was a slight harsh tone to your words, you sent the two boys a smirk.
“How fascinating!” You beamed at your boyfriend, lying on a slightly-damp, patch of grass as he flew not too high above you, using the broom you had gotten him. “Your birthday also happens to be our 6 month anniversary. That’s half a year!” It was two days before Regulus’ birthday.
He replied with a small chuckle. “Pity, I wont be able to see you for either,” you frowned slightly. Regulus returned to the ground, taking a seat beside you and relaxing back. “I know,” said Regulus, “but there’s nothing we can do.” You sighed, “Yeah, I guess so.”
Regulus’ birthday arrived. You hid a small, navy blue box under your bed so the other girls wouldn’t pry and nosy about. Finally, you were able to give him his present which excited you, hoping he’d like it as much as you anticipated.
And now it was time. You both decided to meet at your usual spot, the Astronomy Tower. You arrived first, waiting not too long for Regulus to show. You scurried over to him, meeting in the middle.
“Happy birthday, Reg!” You greeted him (for the tenth time today). You smiled brightly, the outer area of your eyes crinkling gently. “Thank you, doll.” The nickname made your stomach flutter delectably.
The box in your hands was brought out in front of you for him to see. He smiled to you, taking it from your hands and placing a tender kiss to your lips. “What’s this?” He asked, in which you replied: “Open it.”
He carefully took apart the bow you had done in it, lifting the lid off the box. Inside, a jar of green, shimmery powder was placed. Regulus reached his pale hands into the box, plucking the jar from it. “Floo powder,” grinned Regulus. You weren’t sure what to make of his reaction.
“It’s so—so you can see me during summer. And get away from your family, and do what you want with it, of course.” You stumbled over your words nervously and the black-haired boy placed a peck on your temple. “I know,” he said languidly, “thanks, sweets.” Another pet name he used frequently.
His dainty fingers lifted your chin up, pulling you into him and smirking against your lips. He kissed you gently, backed off after one kiss, then leaned in again, trying to get as close to you as possible. His arms wrapped around your waist, yours pulling at his hair gingerly.
You were both practically devouring each other, not even bothering to separate for air. You accidentally tugged hard, eliciting a guttural groan from Regulus. “‘m sorry,” you mumbled, lips still grazing his. He pushed further into your face, connecting them once again.
Finally, he pulled away again. Your noses were still abrading against each other and lips softly touching as well. “I have something for you,” he whispered against your mouth, breath coming out in small puffs.
You pulled away fully now, holding onto his shoulders. He brought out his wand with one hand, muttering an ‘accio’ but you didn’t hear what he was summoning.
A petite bouquet of blood red roses and pristine white baby breath came to his clutch and he handed them over to you. “It’s . . ehm, red because your Gryffindor, and the leaves—I guess, are green. Like Slytherin.” He chuckled nervously, hand immediately going to scratch the rear of his head once you took the flowers from his grip.
Before smiling at him, you took a whiff of the flowers. They smelled gorgeous and light. “Thank you, Reg.” You leaned onto your tippy toes and gave him a peck on each cheek, then a prolonged kiss to his lips.
Summer days drifted away with the wind. It had already been two weeks into your holidays. Regulus has visited you once so far, you both going on a walk through a muggle park. He sends letters regularly. They always came sealed with a family crest stamp, and written in elegant handwriting with obsidian-coloured ink.
You wrote back as well, sealing the end of each letter with a lipstick mark (partly because you wanted to be romantic, partly because you thought it looked nice). He promised to visit you soon, and soon would be today.
The both of you were now in your bedroom. Regulus was laying down on your bed, and you were atop of him. Your mouths fit like jigsaws and your tongues danced gracefully. Silent moans slipped from each others lips every once in a while. It was bliss, you thought. His hands were placed on your waist, sliding up and down it gently, causing your shirt to ride up slightly in unison.
Three booming knocks came to your door and you heard James scream your name from outside the oak wood. Your eyes shot open and you scrambled off your boyfriend. “Shit.” An alarmed expression lay on his sharp features and you wish you had time to laugh at him. He hurried over to your wardrobe, trying to shove himself into the cramped space. You stifled a giggle at him and shut the door for him.
“What?” You rolled your eyes at James standing at your door, giving him a harsh glare. “Where. Is. My. Invisibility. Cloak?” He interrogated—or more so, demanded. You pushed your palm to greet your forehead, sighing heavily. With an irritated tone, you replied, “I don’t know, James. You used it last, idiot.”
He groaned, storming back over to your door. “Fine. But if you use it without asking, I—you’ll pay,” grumbled James. “You only use it to sneak out to go drinking every once in a while. Don’t blame me again, or I might just snitch on you,” you sneered. James just sent you a look, slamming the door on the way out.
“Merlin, what a cunt.” Your mood was instantly switched when you looked over to the wardrobe. “Regulus, you can come out.” Muffled words were coming from the wardrobe and you burst out laughing upon realising he was trapped in. You let him out, of course, but only after a couple laughs.
That was the peak. After that event, all went down hill. A week following Regulus’ visit, Sirius had burst into your home, looking wrecked and in disarray. He explained to James that he ran away from home. They were pressuring him to follow a path he didn’t want to walk along. Your family (including yourself aswell,) welcomed him in with open arms.
Regulus’ letters slowed and they held a sort of edge to them that you couldn’t explain. He also hadn’t used the floo powder you gifted him to visit you. You speculated his parents might’ve found it and confiscated it, but there was no evidence for that.
But when you returned to school for your sixth year, nothing felt the same. And nothing would feel the same again. The war had caused a split between people. Most older Slytherins had joined the Dark Lord, bearing a mark on their arm to show their loyalties.
The first time you saw Regulus was at King’s Cross. You boarded the train with your brother, Remus, Sirius and Peter. Watching all the new first years bid farewell to their parents, your eyes scanned across the crowds of people.
Eventually, they landed on Regulus and the Blacks walking over to the train. He bared a stoic look with his parents. His face looking paler and sharper than ever. They didn’t say much to each other upon his departure.
Once you arrived at Hogwarts, you were too busy unpacking and greeting the girls to find Regulus yet. It wasn’t long till you were able to, sharing potions class again this year. The time whizzed by, and now you stood outside the classroom, waiting for your boyfriend to exit as well.
You noticed him walk out the doors. He immediately tensed when he noticed you standing there. “Regulus.” You tried to send him a comforting smile, but it was so hard these days with everything going on around you. “Hello, doll.” The name still made your chest squeeze and brought a push of confidence in you.
You were shocked to find out how cold he seemed this year. You hadn’t expected the drastic change in his behaviour, even towards you. But you attempted to ignore it, and the slight pit you felt in your stomach upon noticing it.
Over the months, your relationship with Regulus morphed into . . . a routine. Something that consisted of arguing, making up, then saying goodbye to each other without any other conversation. Your chats weren’t filled with laughter and smiles like they used to, instead replaced with this. He did seem to be trying to return to the old Regulus you had known, just struggling.
Your last straw was one unfortunate, February night. “I’m so sick of this! Regulus. Look at me!” You were screaming out at him on top of the Astronomy Tower, your usual hangout spot.
His grey eyes met yours, furrowed angrily and slightly glazed over. Rivers of tears were already running from yours and the skin around them was red and puffed up. “You’ve changed. And I want to help you, but you’re not letting me.” The distance between you both was slim.
You rubbed your eyes, your mind attempting to tear your hands off to prevent making them even more red and sore. At your disbelief, he took a step forward, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your arms crept around his shoulders, head buried in the crook of his neck and soaking his shirt with tears. This felt faintly familiar.
“I’m sorry, doll,” he whispered in your ear. Not moving from that position, you both stood their, relishing in each other’s presence. Aside from every other argument that happened this year, this one felt different. You felt like he might actually be coming back to you. “I love you, Regulus. But I need you to return to me,” you sniffled through weak sobs. “I love you too.”
In that moment, you felt happy. This was your Regulus. The one you had grown so fond over.
But happiness can only last for so long, right?
He pushed you back slightly, looking into your eyes. Under the dim moonlight, two small remnants of streams from his tears lay down his cheeks. His hand clutched your cheek, rubbing a soft circle with his thumb. “I—I have something to show you.”
All of a sudden, guilt and shame took over his features. He pulled his arm away from your face, using it to uncover his sleeve on the opposite arm. His skin. His pale, soft, smooth, oh lovely skin, was flawed and a Dark Mark was engraved in it. A skull and a snake in black markings.
A choked out sob forced itself from the depths of your throat. A pit formed in your stomach and you shoved him back, away from you. “I—” He started, but you shouted over him. “Don’t. No. I will . . I will not stand to be with a Death Eater.”
He called your name, pleading. The only colour on his face was the burning red of his puffy eyes. “Please . . I didn’t—��
“I’m sorry Regulus.” You were sobbing now, trying to control your shuddering words. “I won’t do it. I never thought you had it in you.” Your words were laced with venom. Each one you spat felt as if you dug a knife further into the pit in your stomach. “Please! You don’t understand,” he strained. “I ha—”
“We’re done.” He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he just stared into your eyes longingly.
That was a month ago. Now, your entire relationship with Regulus, the walls he held up that you took time breaking down, were now rebuilt and more durable than ever. Whenever you saw him in potions class, or in the halls, or even during meals, most time he’d be staring at you with guilt-filled eyes.
You felt aches each time you noticed his glances, but not the aches you used to love; this time they were sore, painful, heart-aches. But you tried to push through them.
Of course, you still loved him. It was hard trying not to. But you managed to slowly distance yourself from your feelings and continue the mundane routine of being a Hogwarts student.
Your brother, Sirius, Remus, and surprisingly, even Peter had all felt the change in your attitude. Not only had Regulus turned into a hollow shell of himself, but your split had also morphed you into a duller, less joyful version of yourself. It wasn’t shocking, that that would happen. Regulus was everything to you. He was what made you enjoy your classes so much, enjoy going doing to Hogsmeade, enjoy sneaking out past curfew. Now all them memories were just . . memories. Memories that you needed to forget.
Eventually, you had managed to overcome this downfall in your life. Stepping over it and being able to return to your old self. Not constantly thinking of the boy. Happy, old you, who hadn’t a notion Regulus even existed; only knowing him as ‘Sirius’ cold, younger brother.’ But oh, how much your heart used to ache everytime Sirius entered the common room with a playful grin on his face. He reminded you so much of when Regulus used to smile at you with twinkling eyes.
The wind was chilled, blowing softly through strands of your hair. You were sitting by the edge of the astronomy tower, leaning on the rail that stood strong in front of you. The floor you sat on was frozen cold under your fingertips.
Often times, you came up here and just sat on the ledge of the rails. You liked to watch the stars when you couldn’t sleep. It calmed you, seeing as there was a war going on around you, as well as just calming any anxieties you had.
To your luck, each time you came up here, you never stumbled across a certain boy you were wanting to avoid. Speaking of . . Regulus, you had noticed he tended to disappear recently. The Slytherins were always acting mysterious, going off places, missing classes. You had a suspicion on what they were doing but, you can’t just accuse people of that.
You sighed, it was getting late and you were already too deep into your thoughts. You really should be focusing more of your time on studying for the end-of-year exams, not wasting it up here, drowning in your thoughts.
Rising from your spot, your hands were gritty from sitting on the stone. You wiped them off on your clothes before turning around and walking over to the stairs. At the top of the stairs stood a figure. Regulus stood two steps ahead of you.
His eyes were red and he made no attempt to hide it. It was silent for a moment. He then broke the silence by calling out your name. “Regulus,” you replied, voice cracking slightly. Fuck. You really did think you were over him, but now here he was in front of you again and you were already about to keel and cry.
“What do you want?” Your voice was harsh, full of bite. It was a pitiful attempt to push back your tears and replace them with anger. But you weren’t crying yet; you were merely teary-eyed.
“I’m so sorry, my love. I know you don’t want to talk to me, and I only did what you wanted. But we must now.” Your eyebrows furrowed in both confusion and resentment towards the boy. ‘What is he talking about?’ You thought. You stayed silent, letting him continue, to which he took the hint. “I—I needed to see you one last time.” One last time? He was starting to worry you. Your expression turned from one of bitterness to one full of anxiety. “Reg, what are you talking about?” Your voice was strained.
He stepped towards you, taking your shoulders between both hands. Instead of being warm and comforting like you last remembered, they were now as cold as tiles. “You need to listen to me,” you nodded your head as he spoke, “I’ve defected the Dark Lord.”
“What?” You felt as if you were out of breath, panting as he towered over you. “I never wanted to join them. My parents, they pressured me into doing it—becoming a Death Eater. That’s why Sirius ran. That’s why he ran. But I’m not strong, like him. I couldn’t abandon them, so I joined. But it’s gone too far. He’s attacking hundreds of families. It’s not right.” His eyes were gloomy and seemed a darker, thundery grey in this lighting. “Regulus-”
He cut you off, “No. No, just listen. The Order would never trust me, so I’ve found a way to help. They wont know but I have to do something.” This time, you cut him off, holding onto his forearms, “I don’t—what are you saying, Regulus.” Merlin, the tears were flowing down your face already.
He sighed sorrowfully. “I’m leaving tomorrow. Voldemort—he,” he looked away from you. “Look, I found out about a scheme he has. I intend to end it. Attempting this will cost me my life, doll. I’m so sorry, for everything I’ve done. I just need to have you one last time.”
You looked deep into his eyes, his into yours. Long floods of tears streamed from your eyes but you didn’t do anything to stop them now. Regulus leaned in and kissed you. You let him, kissing back equally as harsh.
He pulled away, tears falling from his gorgeous grey eyes. “I love you, I always have and I always will.” “I love you too,” you weakly replied. Your foreheads connected, noses touching and lips curling into each other. You kissed him once again. Passionate and desirable; as if you would never see him again, but that seemed to be the truth.
That night when Regulus left, you fell to your knees, creating small cuts in your smooth skin, breaking blood. It was the last time you saw Regulus black.
After that treacherous night, Regulus went missing from school. Whispers around school started. People spreading around that he was ‘murdered by Voldemort’ or ‘killed by one of the Death Eaters for cowardly betraying them’. You constantly had searched for them stormy blue-grey eyes in the corridors, looking desperately for them on the Slytherin table, laughing with Evan Rosier, but to no avail. He was gone—presumed dead, the Order had said—and the pit in your stomach since that night remained as you packed your belongings, ready to return home for summer break. Fiddling with the last thing you had to remember him by, the dainty silver necklace he gave you on the day you two got together.
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petitemistletoe · 1 year
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Hi i was wondering if you could write something for James Potter x fem!reader already in a relationship. Maybe they’re at a party and some guy makes her uncomfortable and won’t leave her alone and it’s just James being the protective bf he is.
If not don’t worry!!! xx
Title: Protection Charm
Pairing: James Potter x Reader
Warnings: mentions of sexual assault/harassment, eventual smut
Word Count: 2.3K
A/N: Y'all are real lucky that I've been in a marauders era and have been reading ATYD. Read ATYD here! Feel free to request more from this era!
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“But why do I have to go this party?” Remus whined as he took a bite of his eggs. 
“Moony! It’s your birthday party!” Sirius said, looking completely affronted that Remus would ever suggest such a thing. 
“Come on, Remus! We went through all the trouble planning it and inviting everyone and-” James started but Remus cut him off. 
“Wait a minute,” Remus held his hand up and looked at his friends sitting in front of him, “who exactly did you invite?”
“Well…everyone! You’re very popular, Moony.” Peter said with a grin. Remus looked like he was going to blow him top sooner rather than later and you thread your hand through Remus’s arm. 
“What would you like to do for your birthday, Remus?” You asked.
“Get drunk with you lot,” he shrugged. 
“Isn’t that what we’re going to do at the party?” Sirius threaded his fingers through his hair and looked at Remus had just been dropped from space.
“I mean just with us!” Remus shook his head, tearing a piece of toast in half and handing you the bigger piece. 
“How’s this, Remus? The party is happening whether you like it or not so let’s get really pissed tonight and next weekend we can get even more pissed at Hogsmeade.” You suggested, dodging the bigger piece, grabbing the smaller one and spreading a bit of marmalade on it. 
“Fine. But I’m not blowing out any candles.” Remus said, draining his tea and standing up. 
“Where are you off to?” James asked. 
“Have to turn in an essay to Binns. Told him I’d get it to him first thing in the morning.”
“See you later, Remus,” you called to the lanky marauder. 
“Cheers love,” Remus gave you a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing from the great hall. 
“Now hold on a second,” Sirius started and you only knew that he’d begin with the dramatics, “why on Earth does Moony get to kiss your girlfriend?” Sirius turned his head sharply to face James. 
“I’m a person!” You protested lightly. 
“Remus is like her older brother. I also don’t control what she does,” James shrugged, moving closer to you so he could put his arm around you.
“So can I kiss her?” Sirius asked James. 
“Still a person!” You rolled your eyes. 
“No. Remus is an older brother. You’re a dog, Sirius.” James rolled his eyes and tightened his arm around you. 
“Are you jealous, Mr. Potter?” You said with mock shock.
“Not jealous, just making sure you don’t get fleas from Padfoot.” James laughed, dodging the piece of bacon that Sirius had flung at James’s head. 
Classes always seemed to take longer when a marauder’s party was scheduled to follow. You promised that you and Remus could have a little dinner just the two of you so you snuck off to Hogsmeade for a quick dinner of pub food and butterbeer at the three broomsticks before the party. 
“Listen I know you said you wouldn’t blow out any candles but,” you pulled out a cupcake with a single candle in the middle. 
“God I’m glad James is dating you,” Remus said, blowing out the candle and cutting the cupcake in half. He handed the larger half to you, which you refused because there was no way you were going to allow Remus to have the smaller half of a cupcake on his own birthday. 
“You’re such a sweetheart,” you said with a grin. 
“Don’t tell the boys but if you and James ever break up, I’m on your side.” Remus smiled. You walked back to the Gryffindor common room with Remus’s arm around your shoulders. The common room erupted with cheers with the guest of honor entered and Remus sent you a bewildered look. 
“Firewhiskey?” You asked him. 
“Definitely,” he nodded as Mary, Lily, and Marlene cornered him and started peppering him with ‘birthday pecks’. You could see James and Sirius playing beer pong and by the sound of their cheers it seemed like they were winning. You poured Remus a strong glass of firewhiskey and then a glass for yourself when you felt a hand on the small of your back. You knew Remus was still cornered by the girls, you could hear James and Sirius at the pong table, and you could see Peter sneaking off with some girl in Hufflepuff. So who’s hand was on your back? You turned to see an attractive seventh year Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy, grin down at you. 
“Hi darling, who’s the other drink for?” 
“Hi Lucius,” you shrugged Lucius’s hand off and stepped away so you were facing him, “the other drink is for Remus.”
“Oh of course, the man of the hour,” Lucius sounded like he was making his voice extra sultry. 
“Surprised to see you here. Didn’t think you were a fan of Gryffindor parties.” You said cautiously. 
“I’d never turn down an opportunity to see you, love. I do have a question for you, though.” Lucius’s finger hooked under your chin so you made eye contact with him. 
“Alright?”
“Are you dating Lupin?”
“Remus? Oh no-”
“Excellent,” Lucius leaned down and kissed you rather forcefully. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him back. 
“Lucius. I’m dating James,” you didn’t want to make a scene but Lucius’s grip on your arms was pretty tight and he gave no indication that he was going to let go. You glanced back at James but he was currently absorbed in making Sirius drink from one of those funnels that Mary had brought back from the muggle world. 
“I don’t see him around.” Lucius said, leaning his head down to kiss you again. His lips were against yours but you didn’t kiss him back. 
“Let me go Lucius, I’m serious,” you said, trying to pull yourself away. 
“Come on now, don’t be a bitch,” Lucius said, his grip tight on your wrists. You were beginning to panic when you felt Lucius pull away from you. You looked up in time to see James punch Lucius right in the jaw. 
“What the fuck, Potter?” Lucius said, holding his jaw with one hand and pulling out his wand with the other. 
“Get away from her, Malfoy. Get out of Gryffindor tower before I hex you,” James said, positioning himself in front of you. 
“Not if I hex you first,” Lucius said, hissing out a curse. James was ready with his own but Remus yelled, 
“Expelliarmus!” Remus snatched both James and Lucius’s wands, “Now you two are making me exercise my prefect duties on my own birthday. Detention for you both. Malfoy get the fuck out of here.” 
“Fuck off, Lupin.” Malfoy said, clearly not thrilled at the idea of returning to the dungeons with a bruised ego and a bruised jaw. 
Peter and Sirius were struggling to hold James back and you heard Sirius hiss at his brother Regulus, 
“If you’ve ever done anything good for me ever in your life you will get Malfoy out of here right now.”
Regulus was not going to disagree and along with a few other Slytherins, they hauled Malfoy out of Gryffindor tower. 
“Let’s do a round of shots!” Sirius said with a grin. He had no intention of letting the party halt because of some interhouse drama. James turned and wrapped you in his arms, 
“Are you okay?”
“Let’s get out of here.” You said shakily. James nodded and you both slipped out of Gryffindor tower. James’s wand was raised just in case you ran into Malfoy again but it seemed that Regulus had made sure that Malfoy didn’t linger. He lead you to the astronomy tower where you sat on the edge with your legs dangling and shared a cigarette. 
The energy between you was uneasy, uncomfortable. James was obviously still upset with Malfoy but was trying to keep calm for you. You were still processing Malfoy’s disgusting behavior. You couldn’t help yourself, though, and you started to laugh. Little chuckles at first but then full belly laughs and finally you were doubled over trying to catch your breath as James stared at you. 
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He finally asked, after pulling you by the forearm after you almost toppled over the edge of the tower which only made you laugh harder. 
“You were jealous,” you giggled, your hands clasped firmly over your mouth. 
“I-” James started but he too started to see the humor in it and he started to laugh too. 
“How’s your hand?” You asked, picking up James’s left hand and examining his knuckles. There were bluish bruises forming already and you knew he’d probably need to go to the hospital wing in the morning. 
“It’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked. You let out a weak chuckle and nodded. 
“Yeah. Thank you for…you know.” You said with a smile. 
“Of course, love. I’ll always be here for you,” James practically whispered. You brought his bruised knuckles up to your lips and kissed them lightly. You kissed around his hand and then on the sides of his fingers and then you slid one of James’s long fingers into your mouth. James took in a sharp breath and watched you, mesmerized, as you slid your tongue around his digits. James let out a strangled moan when he saw how deep his fingers stretched down your throat. You released his fingers softly and looked up at him with doe eyes. James’s eyes were lust blown and he was looking at you while breathing very hard. 
“Come here,” he pulled you towards him and kissed you hard, his hands knotted in your hair as he practically consumed you. He was starving and you were his last meal. He kissed down your jaw and down your neck before coming back up to your lips. 
“We should have sex,” you panted. James nodded. 
“Yeah definitely.”
“I don’t think I can make it back to the dormitory,” you shook your head. 
“No, I can’t either.”
“You got an Outstanding in transfiguration right?”
“Yeah,” James looked at you like you had grown another head for talking about school at a time like this.
“Then transfigure these desks into a bed.” You said, your fingers fumbling with his belt buckle. 
“Oh! Yeah, fuck…yeah.” James nodded, throwing his sweater somewhere across the room.  He was fumbling in his pockets for his wand and you sunk to your knees, pulling his wand out of his pocket and handing it to him before pulling his cock out of his underwear and putting it in your mouth. 
“Oh my god,” James gasped, one hand on the brick wall of the tower. You let the head of James’s cock brush the back of your throat before you made eye contact with him and pulled away. 
“James, the bed,” you grinned before leaning down and taking one of his balls in your mouth while jerking him off.
“In my defense,” he said in a strained voice, “it’s a little hard to focus.” James was able to transfigure the desks into some sort of futon before letting out a strangled moan and saying “please stop before I cum in your mouth.”
You stood up and took your shirt and bra and dusted your knees off before reclining back on the futon. 
“Are you going to fuck me?” You asked, spreading your legs and pulling down your underwear. James watched with pure shock and adoration as you let your panties dangle on an outstretched foot before letting it drop to the ground. 
“Yes, yes! Absolutely.” James nodded, diving onto the futon and burying his face in your pussy. His lips immediately attached to your clit as he maneuvered three fingers inside you. James kissed you deeply before you broke away from his lips and moaned into his open mouth. 
“Fuck, don’t stop I’m going to cum.” You panted. James grinned and if you had been able to open your eyes you would’ve seen how embarrassingly fogged up James’s glasses were. He was also rutting against the edge of the futon and moaning into your own mouth. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist as you rode his hand into your orgasm. You barely had a moment to come down from it before James was fully ripping your skirt off and pushing himself inside of you. 
“I learned-” James could barely get two words out through his moans and you had to take a minute to wipe the inside of his glasses so you could actually see his eyes, “-a charm hold on a minute.” James stayed inside you as he reached over your head for his wand again. He mumbled something and pointed his wand at one of the crystal balls. The ball shot itself into James’s outstretched hand and transformed into a rapidly vibrating clitoral stimulator. James pressed it against your clit and you dug your nails into his bicep. 
“Where on earth did you learn a charm like that?” You gasped, feeling a second orgasm coming on. 
“Moony is a genius,” James said, before practically screaming, “I’m going to cum!” 
You could nod as you came, nearly sobbing and moaning. James came too, moaning loudly and resting his forehead against yours. You pushed the vibrator away and took a few minutes to breathe laying back while letting James rest his head on your chest. 
“So wait a second,” you said once you and James were able to restore your heart rates to a normal BPM. 
“What is it?” James looked adorably goofy with his glasses all fogged up again and you took them off and wiped them. 
“What do you mean Remus taught you that charm?”
“He’s a man of many talents,” James said with a shrug. 
“He deserves a much better birthday party then.” 
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Text
Curious about the direction the HP fandom has gone
Okay, so as an old HP fan from way back when the books were first coming out, and then getting hit with the nostalgia and decided to return after years and years of not interacting with the fandom at all, the changes are truly mindboggling and I'd love to get to the bottom of some things.
Like, the disappearance of Blaise Zabini. Blaise was a fan favorite way back when we only knew his name but now I barely hear a whisper of his name. Now, the obvious answer is racism, which I think is the #1 reason why Blaise-pairings have dropped of significantly. Back then we all thought Blaise was a hot Italian girl, and then we found out he's a black man and suddenly people stop writing about him? Hm, yeah, seems the obvious answer (especially considering the popularity of other characters who are just a name on a page *cough*regulusblack*cough*).
Or the rise in Snape-hate. Like, Snape used to be the fan favorite. Everyone loved Snape. The meaner he was, the more we liked him. Being mean to children was a plus, not a negative lol. And this was back when we all thought he was a pureblood who came from a wealthy family like the Malfoys. Now by the time the 7th book came out I had pretty much moved on and so I didn't really see the fallout of readers discovering his actual background, so I don't know if his drop in popularity is classism and learning that he isn't a palette-swapped Lucius Malfoy or not, but honestly I would figure his impoverished background would be a plus in these times. Like Snape is obviously one of JKR's least favorite characters, and considering how she-who-must-not-be-named has destroyed her reputation with her increasing radicalization you'd figure the poor, abused, author-hating character would become more beloved instead of the rich, white, heteronormative bullies who barely even show up in the books. Like with our increasing knowledge of social injustice, I just don't understand why the fandom would want to latch onto the Marauders? And I just can't believe Snape's handful of snippets with Lily is the cause of his downfall (like what's there is barely enough to fill up a few pages, and there are certainly more toxic relationships in the series that are still beloved), or the fact that he was a Death Eater or that he inadvertently caused the deaths of the Potters (we already knew that in GoF and HPB respectively and he was still beloved, and this was when we assumed he didn't give a shit about the Potters or if they died when he went snitching). Draco is still popular. DRACO who doesn't give two shits about slinging around the word "mudblood," as opposed to Snape who actually changed for the better.
Am I just too old to understand? Is this like 90s fashion coming back in style (no, I won't do it again, I don't care if it's cringy I'm sticking with my millennial styles, I did the platforms and the slip dresses and the cargo pants in high school and I'm not putting myself through that again lol you gen z's can pry my comfortable mom jeans from my cold, dead fingers, I don't care if it makes me look old, that's the point, I AM old). Like, in addition to 90s fashion, has the 90s obsession with luxury athletic fashion like Lacoste come back in style? All those fashion ads of rich white people on yachts with popped collar polos? Are people starting to obsess over the Marauders because nouveau riche conspicuous consumption is coming back in style? It can't all just be young kids who have only read AtYD and have never actually opened one of the books, can it?
There also seems to be a trend of treating characters as if they're real people. I mean, we've always done it (Snape Wives, I'm looking at you), but now it almost feels as if the crimes characters commit are treated as if they're real crimes and that liking them is somehow a moral failing on the reader's fault. If you were to say "I don't like Snape, his douchy actions anger me, I'd rather skip all the parts he shows up in" I'd say, cool, I get that. That's normal. But "Snape is an abuser, a racist, and an incel and if you like him you're probably those things too" is fucking weird. Like, Harry and Hermione are not real children. Snape is not a real person. The things that happen in this book have as much influence on the real world as me imagining ninjas breaking into my workplace on a slow day. And that "media does not exist in a vacuum" pisses me off because it's blatantly misused. The pieces of media that have had serious consequences? Jaws, The Birth of a Nation. One resulted in the culling of sharks, the other helped restart the KKK. Do you know what those two pieces of media have in common? They're not about fucking wizards and magic schools. They instead paint a target on real groups. After twenty years nobody has ever tried to hurt a marginalized group of people because of a harry potter book (except for JKR herself).
Anyway, these are just some random thoughts, feel free to chime in with your own.
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imsiriuslyreading · 7 months
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atyd gets a lot of shit especially now, don’t u feel maybe u should change how u feel about it? considering the misogyny and racism
Hiya!
Firstly, as a queer POC woman, no, I don't.
I also think personally, it's a very accurate and clever depiction of genuine feelings and sentiments to the time period. It would be unrealistic to portray a world in the seventies and eighties without those topics, along with homophobia. Which, if that's the story you want to write? cool, I love that too! But in this instance, those topics were included and I thought they were done exceptionally well. It doesn't read like the writing is any of those things. It reads like the writer has a knowledgable understanding of very real-world issues that effect very real people even to this day.
Secondly, I think its a very privileged thing to be able to not feel the desire to see yourself and your struggles of that sort reflected in writing. I personally have read many pieces of fiction, be that books or fics, that showcase these issues that are very real and very much things I have and still do experience, and its extremely validating to look at that and feel seen. I see a character experiencing a particular type of racism or sexism or homophobia and I think "Oh, hey, same! It's nice to not feel completely othered for once!"
So, my feelings on ATYD are very, very positive, and will continue to be so.
Thanks so much for your ask! Have the day you deserve! <3
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sn4pe · 21 days
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absolute WORST severus snape takes you've seen?
gonna organize these from Batshit Horrible to Mildly Irksome
- “James Potter wrote the notes in the HBP potions textbook and Snape stole it”. saw it in a youtube comment and. what
- “Snape is an incel” does he blame all women for his problems? does he hold misogynistic views? does he do misogynistic things? no. just because he had weird history with a woman doesn’t make him a fucking incel bye ppl r so weird for this take.
- Louis Garrel as a faceclaim. who coined this, i just wanna talk. don’t mind the gun in my hand. i just wanna talk i just wanna talk. no cuz this shit has done IRREPARABLE damage to my pinterest i can’t find good snape fcs without being bombarded with louis garrel images (i’m being so dramatic but i HATE HIM) HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SEVERUS SNAPE AT ALL
- That he and the marauders’ thing was a “rivalry”. A 4 against 1 is not a rivalry. Just admit your faves are bullies it is 1000% okay to like antagonists.
- that he “deserved” what happened in the SWM chapter. idc what awful shit he believed at the time, he was FIFTEEN. he was a CHILD and anyone who doesn’t understand that is likely a child themselves
- that he’s “greasy because of the potions fumes” no bc then everyone would be greasy after potions class and it would be mentioned. severus was a severely neglected child. he never got into the habit of properly bathing himself and that carried on into adulthood.
- when people snatch his entire character and personality and everything and push it onto regulus, then claim to hate snape but loveee regulus black. like bro you just gave him snape’s entire arc word for word but now suddenly bc it’s regulus it’s a good redemption arc? bffr
- every single time he’s ever been mentioned in that rlly popular fanfiction All The Young Dudes. actually every single take in All The Young Dudes is bad. and this isn’t snape specific or anything but i heard that some professor at a university made his students read ATYD for a project. and i’m. flabbergasted bc it’s the biggest piece of horseshit. like snape stuff aside its not a well written fanfiction. it just has all the shiny bells and whistles that the marauders fandom likes.
- relating to that point, the draco malfoyification of severus snape in marauders fanfics in order to make him the antagonist. like i get you want an antagonist but. ugh just irksome it’s not true to his character
- JKR’s drawing of snape w a beard. like who the hell is that
- when ppl hc him to have abs. why?? because he lifted a few cauldrons? bffr
I could probably think of a billion more since this fandom is a nightmare but. yes there u go <3 ily ty for asking i genuinely love answering these
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