#BATTLE CRIES???? FUCKING BATTLE CRIES???? YOU MEAN THE SONG THAT LEAVES ME IN A MILLION DIFFERENT PIECES HOLDING MYSELF TOGETHER WITH

[fallen-goldfishcracker]

Another day, another listen of the entire Amazing Devil discography while losing my honest to goodness mind.

#the amazing devil #Every single song they've ever made ever makes me completely feral #Farewell wanderlust? Screaming #Chords? My heart is shattered I am sobbing send help #Love run/ not yet? LOVE RUN/ NOT YET???? I CALL BEING BEATEN OVER THE HEAD WITH EVERY FEELING UNDER THE SUN #BATTLE CRIES???? FUCKING BATTLE CRIES???? YOU MEAN THE SONG THAT LEAVES ME IN A MILLION DIFFERENT PIECES HOLDING MYSELF TOGETHER WITH #THE RAW POWER OF THE LINE “WE WERE GODS WE WERE KIDS” HFKDHORJSKDBDIJDLRIS #THE OLD WITCH SLEEP AND THE GOOD MAN GRACE????? INKPOT GODS???? MARBLES???? #PRAY??????????? #IS ANYONE ELSE LSKTENING TO PRAY SND ABSOLUTELY LOSING JT???? #“GOD MADE ALL MAN IN HIS IMAGE. HONEY IM- IM NO MAN. IM WHATS LEFT WHEN CHILDTEN GO TO WAR” #JFKRNKDNELMSKFBFKRJSKRO #i swear this band leaves me in shambles every single time #I love them so much #joey batey #madeleine hyland

[bmwiid]

As many of you know, mum died in December last year and I was like... I'm totally fine and shockingly okay with this. Like... out of sight, out of mind? Able to make jokes about it and laugh and moved on super quick and I only cried like... 10 times in all?

And sure, I am super depressed, but I was depressed before thats. And sure I gained a shit tonne of weight. And sure I stopped washing myself and cleaning my house and leaving the building and having panic attacks whenever I have to go somewhere thats outside, BUT I WAS FINE, OKAY? That wasn't cause of mum, that was just me being lazy and a shit person and... and... well fuck. Maybe I'm not coping so well.

There is a read more but it's just word vomit and helps no one.

Recently I've been having a lot of dreams about mum. It's weird. I feel like I've come to grief BACKWARDS.

Like at first I was okay, and the longer she's gone, the worse I miss her. I feel more guilt now than I did when she died. I hear songs now that NEVER made me think of mum and now they do, and it makes me want to cry. I don't, because I don't cry over anything that isn't a movie or a really good daydream these days, but I feel that rising waterline in my throat.

I think, the longer she's dead, the less I'm angry at her for all the shit she put me through. I'm less mad at her giving up, and I'm less mad about how hard she made loving her. Thats sort of faded away now, leaving me with just... missing her and guilt.

She loved me, fully and completely and without boundaries.

But that doesn't mean she was a GOOD mum. She was dependent, selfish, self absorbed, fatalistic, lazy, greedy and blind to anything not connected to her.

She forgot my 21st birthday. She got herself in debt and expected me to get her out of it. When I turned 35 she didn't call me to say happy birthday because I didn't call her first. in fact, she didn't pick up the phone to call me ever - and when I called her, she'd have a list of things I needed to do for her. She expected me to put her before myself in every instance.

When we lived together I bathed her, brushed her hair, at 12 years old I was inserting catheters until I had to beg her to get a nurse to do it because I felt so gross. I pushed her wheelchairs - BOUGHT her wheelchairs she never used. I took out loans to get her house decorated and to buy a car she could actually sit in, big enough for her wheelchair. I was expected to spend my bonus on things she wanted. Getting her to DO anything for herself was an uphill battle and more often than not, I just gave in because she'd promise to do it and then... never did. A million little things over and over and over again that hurt and sucked and just drained me of energy and time and now SHES GONE.

She's been gone for almost a year and all those things are still true, but they seem further and further away now.

I should have resented her less.

I should have hugged her more.

#personal

[finelinevogue]

could you do some angsty smut please??

oh hell yeah we can. this is going to be 70srockstar!harry with roadie!y/n eekkkk! okay have fun;

Being the girlfriend of the most famous, golden boy rockstar was the craziest rollercoaster you’d ever ride.

For the past 6 months you’ve been touring with the one and only Harry Styles, living your life between helping on tour, drinking endless amounts of wine and smoking a hell of a lot of weed. The job had come past you at the perfect moment. Your dad happened to be best friends with the tour manager, Jeff Azoff, who’d spoken of their being a job opening for a roadie. You were employed to help set up the musical equipment and test out the instruments before the act went on at night, falling in love for the man you roadied for was just an add on. A beautiful bonus.

It was a lot more pressure being Harry’s girlfriend than people thought though. There was so much pressure to act a certain way and present yourself another way. Harry was so idolised and craved by millions and it put pressure on you to be a certain person for him. You loved him so much and you were so scared that he might one day realise that there was so much better than you - at least in your eyes. Someone extroverted. Someone musically talented. Someone who wasn’t a virgin.

Harry had never pressured you into anything sexual unless you were ready. Of course he was notorious for being an above star rating, when it came fo sex - thanks to all the articles published by the many men and women, sometimes both together, he had slept with. The sex reputation went hand-in-hand with his rock-n-roll aesthetic, so that part of him would never change. You’d only been with Harry for 4 of those 6 months, managing to fall for him very quickly, so you wondered just how he was coping without having had sex for that long. He usually had a different person each night to take backstage after his concert to play with how he wanted, hence how he built his reputation, but since you there had been no one.

Sex was such a big thing for Harry though, so you couldn’t help but feel like you were letting him down.

Currently, you were sat on his bed on the tour bus reading an article that had been published about your boyfriend last week. Your heart strings tugged as you read one section of the interview.

Interviewer: The new album, tell me about it.

Harry: It’s coming on slowly yeah. Just want this one to be perfect so, taking my time.

Interviewer: What would you say your biggest inspiration is for writing?

Harry: Changed on every project, to be honest man. Sometimes it’s about past relationships. Sometimes it’s about issues i’m going through. A lot of the time it’s about sex!

Interviewer: Yeah, dude, I have noticed that like every other song is about sex. Is that something you’re quite open about?

Harry: I think sex can be either something so beautiful or so passionate. Don’t believe in sad sex! But, um, yeah i’m always really honest lyrically when it comes to the songs about sex and I hope others see it as that too.

Interviewer: No it definitely does! Thanks Harry for your time and, um, keep on having sex so that third album breaks even more records!

Harry: Will do man!

It was easy to understand why you were upset. Harry’s biggest inspiration wasn’t possible for this album, because you were too nervous to let him have you. All of you. You felt a burden, as if you were holding him back from living his life and creating something so amazing. His past two albums had been such hits for songs such as ‘She’ and ‘Only Angel’, which were inspired by the intimate times with past lovers. There would only be sad songs if he wrote an album without any spice.

That’s why as soon as Harry came back on the bus, dressed in shorts and a shirt that was unbuttoned to see his toned chest, you jumped him and kissed him like your life depended on him. He was taken back by surprise, but welcomed your lips nevertheless.

Pulling back he mumbled some words against your lips, “Well this is a nice welcome back gift.” He chuckled at the eagerness of your lips and let his hands roam over your body - from your neck to your waist and over your ass. This man knew what he was doing.

“Harry?” You whispered, stopping your kiss and looking at his beautiful swollen red lips. He was a sight for sore eyes.

“Yeah baby?” He kept himself close to you and you could feel the stiffie that he’d developed pressing against your front.

“Can we… I’m.. If you…”

“What baby? Can tell me anything, y’know that.”

“Wanna have sex with you.” You told him the most simple virgin way ever, your face heating up when you saw him smirking down at you. You’d screwed yourself over here and were getting all shy and embarrassed about it.

“Hey, no. Don’t hide from me,” He drew your face back to his and kept his eyes on yours to provide you some familiar comfort, “you sure?”

“Mhm, yes.” You nodded affirmatively.

“It might hurt a little, okay? First time means that your cute little pussy is going to be really tight. Don’t even know whether you’ll be able to take me.” He taunted you, cupping his hands to your cheeks and brushing his thumbs carefully over your skin to ease your tension.

“I w-will.” You moused out, wanting to be this person for him.

“‘Course you can. You’re my best girl and I know you’ll fit perfectly for me, yeah?” He rhetorically asked pushing you back to the bed and letting you flop there. You watched him as he discarded his clothes, following his lead, until you were both naked in front of each other. You’d been this far before, but this time it felt different. It felt more lustful and exposed and nerve-wracking.

Harry bent down and started to kiss you from your belly upwards, leaving kisses everywhere until he reached your jaw where he bit more than he kisses. He loved seeing his marks being left behind on your skin, proving to everyone that you were his and his alone. His hands found comfort ins kneading and squeezing your breasts like dough, loving the way they were so soft and yet so hard beneath his warm hands. As he found your lips and divulged in your sweet tastes, you slunk your hand down and grabbed ahold of his cock, pumping him a few times to get him primed. You felt the trickles of pre-cum drip from his tip and it only excited you even more.

Taking your lead, Harry pushed one of his hands in between your bodies and started playing with your wet cunt, paying extra attention to your needy clit. He knew you loved it when his fingers got rough, so that’s exactly how he played. His tongue was battling against yours, whilst you both stimulated pleasure to one another. The wet and beautiful sounds filled the room, heightening your arousal - Harry could feel it too, his fingers becoming wetter with every circle and pump of his fingers.

“You ready, baby?” He asked carefully, plucking his lips away from yours with a wet sounding smack. You already looked fucked out and he had barely done anything to you yet.

“Y-yes.” You stumbled, so excited yet so nervous. You were finally going to give Harry what he had been missing for so long and you were also going to let yourself go, and divulge in something new and potentially life-changing.

He leant back and rubbed his own cock for a few strokes, before lining the tip of it with your opening. He teased your entrance, making you bite your lip in anticipation. He smiled down at you and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ without any sounds leaving his lips, before you did the same. The head of his cock started to push in, but you didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.

“Shit fuck, y’so tight baby. Need you to relax for me, okay?” He asked, pulling away so he could watch your body relax. You closed your eyes and took a deep breathe, reminding yourself that the best way to relax is not to think about the problem itself but oh how you’d feel when the problem’s fixed. You smiled and once Harry could see your shoulders un-tense, he, once again, pushed his cock into your opening. He hissed at the contact, obviously finding it so pleasurable even if it was only minimal contact, but you, you felt so much pain and soreness from absolutely nothing.

You couldn’t do this.

“It should just…” Harry tried a different angle, but your smile had disappeared and your whole range of emotions had resumed to flat and disappointed in yourself. “Maybe if I just..” Harry tried to hold your legs a little wider and guide his cock more firmly into your opening, but each time he couldn’t push past a certain point without your body rejecting him or your facial expressions telling him he should stop.

“St-stop Harry please.” You cried, bringing your hands up to cover your face as you let the tears flow freely. “Please stop.”

“O-okay. Just gonna…” And he slid out as much as he’d managed to get in, which was probably less than an inch. It hurt when he pulled away and your cunt felt like it was on fire. It stung and it didn’t feel right. You felt like a failure and an embarrassment.

You cried into your arms, letting harsh sobs take over your body. You chest felt tight and your eyes stung worse than your cunt did. God, you couldn’t even do one thing for him. You were the reason why he was having a hard time writing at the moment. You were the reason people would be disappointed to hear no sex inspired songs on the album. He might even have to use past experiences as inspiration, which made your heart curl with jealousy. You didn’t feel like you were enough for him, like you would ever be enough for him.

“I’m so sorry Harry,” You sat up from the bed, not wanting to look at him and his disappointed expression as he stay knelt on the bed - cock looking painfully hard still. You scrambled for your t-shirt and your joggers and then walked out of the room, across the bus’ narrow corridor, and into the bathroom.

You looked at yourself in then mirror and were disappointed at what, or who, you saw. Looking back at you was the person who couldn’t even have sex. You couldn’t give Harry what he deserved. You were a failure and it was stamped all over your body. You cried as you looked at yourself, until you couldn’t and you just slid down the wall and onto the floor. You wished for the Earth to just swallow you whole. You couldn’t stand being here when you were clearly broken and useless.

Harry would surely leave you for this. Why would he want to stay with someone who couldn’t even get their boyfriends dick in their pussy? Couldn’t give each other that pleasure? Harry had so many people in the past and surely with you gone he’d have so many people in the future. It would be selfish of you to stay. Harry had needs you completely appreciated that, but it would be just so difficult to let him go when he means so much to you.

There was a quiet knock at the door, which broke you from your cries and self-deprecating. “Y/N? Baby honey? Can I come in, please?”

“S-sorry. Yes of c-course.” You stood up quickly, thinking that he was wanting to be let in to go to the toilet or to have a cold shower go get rid of the hard-on that you’d put there. Too bad you couldn’t have taken it away.

You unlocked the door and shuffled past him, only for him to stop you. He shut the bathroom door behind him, leaving you both infinitely pressed together in the pathway on the bus. He had you pressed you up against the side of the wall and kept his arms at either side of you.

“Sweets—”

“Harry, please don’t say anything. I-I know what you’re thinking and—”

“Yeah? And what am I thinking?” He asked, not moving away from you. You held your cries the best you could and took a deep breathe to continue.

“I’m a disappointment. I-I i’m not good enough. I’m broken.” You choked out, knocking your head back against the wall from frustration.

“Stop it.” Harry ordered firmly, gripping your cheeks in his hands and forcing you to look at him. The look in his eyes was so hard to read, but he looked desperate and worried and hurt. You hated to think that you were the cause of any of those emotions. “Just stop.” Harry’s own eyes were starting to fill with tears too and you brought your own hand up to catch a few of them before they could fall.

“Don’t cry, please.” You begged, keeping your hand pressed to his cheek which he absolutely adored. He loved the feeling of your skin against his. He never wanted to not have it.

“Then don’t say things that hurt me, okay? Hearing you say those things about yourself absolutely breaks m’heart flower. Just because you were a bit too tight to take me today does not mean that you’re a disappointment or you’re a failure or that you’re not good enough. It hurts to think that you’d ever think I would think that, because - fuck -,” Harry pressed his forehead tight against yours and fanned his lips lips over yours. His closeness was everything. “I love you so much it scares me. My feelings for you are so strong and so real. I want your forever and something as trivial as sex is never going to make me want otherwise. Do you get that?”

“B-but the album?” You asked.

“What about the album?”

“I-in the recent magazine interview you said that sex is your biggest i-inspiration. I can’t be that for you.”

“Is that what this is all about? Because you think that my album isn’t coming together because i’m not having sex? Did you miss the part where I said I wanted this one to be perfect and I was taking m’time with it?”

“No.”

“Well I did say that, because it’s for you baby. The whole thing is going to be for you. Every melody. Every lyric. Every song. Just and all for you.” Both of you were silently crying now, absorbed in each others love and adoration for one another.

“I-I didn’t know.”

“Now you do. This album isn’t really for the charts or the awards. It’s for you, m’heart. I love you for a lot more than your body and its’ pleasures.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, taking all his words in and realising how irrationally you’d acted out afterwards.

“For what, sweetheart?”

“For even thinking that you’d be so shallow and cold-hearted.”

“You didn’t think that though, baby. I know you and so I know you didn’t. Your thoughts were based around your own insecurities, not to do with your small-thinking over me.” He explained to you, making you nod and kick your lips.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Well then we don’t deserve each other.”

“But i’ll keep you forever if you’d let me.”

“Looks like we’re together forever then, baby honey.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue #finelinevogue harry styles #harry blurb #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #rockstar #harry styles rockstar #finelinevogue blurbs #finelinevogue masterlist #70s!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles first time #harry styles virgin reader

[miastideclock]

Stray Kids Reaction To Their S/O Being Shy About Their Singing-Talents

anon asked:

Can you do stray kids reaction to their s/o being a good rapper and singer but they get shy and have low confidence? - 🐻💙

Of course love! I hope you like it x So sorry for the wait! While we're here, I just wanna say I'm sorry for the length difference of the individual reactions! * y/n/n is what i use for your nickname btw

Word Count: 3.5k-ish

Bang Chan

Silence. At least for the most part. You clicking the keyboard of your computer, Chan humming slightly as he clicked around on his own, as well as twisting and turning the dials on his audio mixer, connected to said computer. The sounds had sort of blended into the silence though, so neither of you really noticed it at this point.

A click louder than all of the others soon came from Chan's computer, meaning he was going to connect his progress to the speakers of his studio, so he could fully take in the track he was working on. He had played it what seemed like a million times already, but you didn't mind. You were already so phased out that he could be announcing the break up of Stray Kids', and you honestly wouldn't even catch it.

The familiar beat of their upcoming title track boomed through the speakers, and as if on autopilot, you sang along. You had heard the beginning of that very song so many times now, the lyrics were as good as engraved into the inside of your eyelids.

Once the first verse and chorus were over, the song stopped, as did you. It was when the song didn't play again you finally snapped out of your computer-trance. You shifted your eyes from the screen over to your boyfriend who was sitting on the other side of the room.

"Y/n."

You then realized you had been singing along, and probably not as quiet as you had thought. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to distract you. I'll keep quiet." You quickly apologized.

You were hanging out with your boyfriend, yes- but he was still at work, and you'd hate to be the reason for him switching out of his creative-mode.

"No! No, no, don't worry. You're just so good? How come I have never heard you sing before?" Chan grinned as he turned his spinny-chair to face you and fell back into it, looking at you with admiration.

You had been sitting on the floor with your back against the seat of the couch, so the coffee table by the mentioned couch had your laptop at shoulder-height, meaning you had to close the screen of your computer to see your boyfriend. Once you had done so, you moved your hands up to your face, covering your cheeks.

"I don't like the attention. I hate it when people look at me like- exactly like you're doing now, stop!" You giggled when Chan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He decided to mess around with you and started staring you down. You laughed and begged him to stop, but the more you did, the more intensely he stared at you- until he eventually cracked, sending you both into fits of laughter.

Lee Know

"First things first rest in peace Uncle Phil."

The music blared from your headphones straight into your head, being the only thing keeping you motivated as you did some housework. Seeing as you were mopping when the J.Cole song started playing, you figured the handle would prove to be the perfect microphone.

"For real, you the only father that I ever knew." You continued, singing and rapping along while shaking your butt and cleaning the floor. Maybe not the world's most efficient cleaning strategy, but my-oh-my did it get the job done.

Due to the loud volume in your headphones, you didn't hear the front door open and shut, as your boyfriend came home for the day.

Minho didn't even get the chance to put down his bag before his attention was completely wrapped around you having a concert in your living-room. He quickly recognized the song and let his head bob along to the beat, even though he could only hear you rapping, and not the song itself. He kicked off his shoes and placed his things on the ground before he slowly made his way into the living-room, doing a little boogie as he did so.

It wasn't until you finally turned around almost a minute later you saw your boyfriend joking around, dancing to your rapping. You instantly dropped the mop and let out a little scream as he startled you, covering your face with your hands once you saw it was just him.

"Minho! What are you doing?" You cried out in embarrassement after removing your headphones. Minho couldn't help but chuckle at you before he came closer and gave you a kiss-hello.

"Y/n, I never knew you had such voice-control! You've never rapped in front of me before, why?" He asked when he pulled away, his arms still wrapped around your waist, but his face a few inches away from yours.

"Because you're an actual rapper in an actual band!! That's like showing Michelangelo your drawing!" You argued back, a massive smile on your face. Minho then continued to shower you in compliments, making you hide your blushing face from him by burying it into his chest.

Changbin

The kitchen had all kinds of different smells as you were stirring the pot of soup you had on the stove in front of you. The kitchen-window was open, letting in a fresh spring breeze, and the radio was playing a familiar song.

"Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is La Vie En Rose." You softly sang along, your body swaying back and forth to the tune. You continued to sing along as you used the wooden-spoon to stir around, making sure it didn't burn.

(bro, i think i fucked up my sOUP)

"Hey, Y/n/n." It suddenly came from the doorway to the kitchen, instantly causing you to stop singing and spin around. "Hi, Binnie." You gave him a smile and then turned back around, squeezing your eyes shut, only for a second- as if you were trying to erase the past ten seconds. You hoped the radio was louder than your voice, but that hope soon came crashing down.

"No, why'd you stop?" He asked as he placed a few sheets of paper on the table and continued over to you. You started smiling like an idiot for a second before you raised your hands to cover your face. Chanbin noticed and chuckled as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. "Don't be shy!"

He then spun you around so you were facing him, but your hands still covered your face. This made Changbin just chuckle even more. He tried to jokingly pry your hands from your face, but you just shoved your head into his shoulder so he wouldn't be able to grab you properly. You either couldn't help but chuckle as you messed around, but quickly stopped once you remembered you were cooking.

You turned around to keep stirring your soup, Changbin never let go of you. "But tell me, why have I never heard you sing before when your voice is THAT good?" He asked, but you ignored him.

"For real?" He tried again, but you pretended he didn't say anything.

"Would you like some soup?" You asked him, turning slightly to look at him. He seemed amused, but he just nodded, accepting your choice of lunch.

Hyunjin

Hot water poured down your back, the whole shower smelling like your body wash. You had just gotten back from a run and decided to clean up a bit before Hyunjin came back from work. So after getting out of your leggings and hoodie, you had grabbed your speaker and headed for the washroom.

Knowing Hyunjin wasn't home, you qued the best of the best from your playlist, getting ready to absolutely shred the imaginary rap battles you were about to have. Banger after banger played as you sang into your microphone. Your mic being an empty shampoo bottle you had yet to throw out.

You were mid-shampoo when Streets by Doja Cat played, and you almost slipped and fell while hurriedly reaching for your microphone.

"Damn, papi, you a rare breed, no comparing." You borderline yelled, as if you had just gotten out of a failed relationship where you still loved your partner, when in fact that wasn't your case at all. You were very much in love with your boyfriend, and you were on great terms- but for the sake of your rap battle, you had to get into it.

"When other chickens tryna get in my coop 'Cause you're a one in a million There ain't no man like you!" Not to toot your own horn or anything, but you could confidently say you absolutely bodied that verse, and you were soon let know you weren't the only one who thought so.

(I don't actually think he is the one to cuss, but this is simply because I cannot think of another way to say it, so for the lack of a better word:) "Fuck it up, baby!" You heard Hyunjin hype you up on the other side of the bathroom door, making your stomach drop for a second.

"You're not supposed to be home yet." You answered him after turning off the speaker, and the shower. You stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around you, then went to open the door.

"Well, I had to hurry home when I heard the rap God themselves was having a concert in our bathroom." Hyunjin chuckled once you opened the door with almost a shameful face. "Should I talk to JYP about getting you a rap-audition, or..?" He dragged out the last word, kind of he was taunting you, but in the most loving way possible. Feeling your cheeks grow hot, you closed the door back up and locked him out.

"I'm never leaving this bathroom." You announced as you covered your face, even though Hyunjin could no longer see you.

"Y/n/n, I was kidding! You were great though, I might actually talk to JY-" He started again, but you cut him off by groaning, causing the both of you to break out laughing.

Han

Clicking of a pen. Gentle tapping of a foot. Frustrated hair ripping. You had seen these symptoms before- that's right, Jisung was in a slump.

You were at the studio with your boyfriend, and you were both seated in the sitting group, Jisung leaning his elbows on the table, head in his hands, tugging at his hair as if it would activate his creative juices. You had tagged along just to get out of the house, and maybe Jisung needed moral support, and wouldn't you have guessed- that was exactly what he needed.

"You good?" You asked him after he let out the umpteenth sigh in the past hour. He then finally confessed he just couldn't get the ending of the second verse down. "Why don't you sing it, so you can hear what's missing, rather than just reading it?"

He did as you suggested and sang through it. When he came to the part he was talking about, you also heard it. Something about it was just kinda.. off.

You tilted your head to the side as you were thinking of ways to better it, to try and help him. An idea popped into your head, and maybe it could work- after all you were no song writer. You tried your best to explain to Jisung what it was you were thinking, but about half-way through, you could see he was as lost as that one time Chan and Changbin had accidentally left the two of you behind at IKEA.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I don't fully understand what you mean." He confessed, and you nodded, knowing well that was him being sweet about the fact that you sucked at explaining things. So in the spirit of making it easier for him to understand, you just sang it. You sang through the song and added the part you had tried to explain.

"Did that make more sense?" You asked when you were done, looking from the sheet of paper up at your boyfriend, who was sat there, his lips slightly parted as his jaw hung lose. "Jisung? Babe?" You tried to snap him back to reality as it seemed he had zoned out, but only for a moment.

"Wait, that was so good? Since when were you that good?" Jisung suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, smiling and almost bouncing in his seat. He continued to shower you in compliments, making you feel like a turtle trying to get back into its shell.

"Stop. If you ever mention me singing again, I will throw myself out the window." You said, both humor in your tone, and being dead serious at the same time.

"Okay, dramatic much?" Jisung joked back, making you shove his shoulder as you chuckled alongside him.

Felix

A car zoomed past you as you walked on the pavement on the side of the road, admiring the spring at its full bloom. You were almost a bit disappointed when you reached your home as you wanted to continue to look at the flowers, but that thought soon fell right out of your head. As you walked up the staircase to your apartment, you heard a constant noise grow louder and louder. You were about to turn the key when you realized the noise was more rhythmic than you originally thought, and that the music was coming from inside your apartment.

Curiosity completely consumed your body when you finally opened the door, and was met with a wall of noise. You took a few steps in and shut the door behind you, protecting the outside world from the sight you had in front of you.

Felix was using a hairbrush as he jumped around both on the floor and in the couch, crying out the lyrics to a song you didn't quite recognize. You laughed at your boyfriend as you kicked off your shoes and hung your coat in the closet.

Felix finally spotted you and quickly pulled out his phone that was connected to the speakers, and changed the song. The familiar intro of your favorite song soon played, and it didn't take as much as a second before you were as hyped as Felix were. You began jumping around and dancing with him, matching his energy.

Felix screamed the lyrics into the hairbrush before he swiftly tossed you the brush, letting you pop off as well. You rapped the words perfectly into the brush, standing on the couch as your concert evolved.

The song eventually came to an end, causing the both of you to fall breathlessly to the ground, heaving for air- massive smiles on your faces. The ground was cool against your now sweaty backs. A few seconds passed before Felix spoke.

"I don't think I have ever heard you rap before." He admitted. You kept staring at the ceiling, ignoring the boy at your side for a few seconds before you decided to answer him.

"And you will never hear it again."

Both you and Felix could back the claim that he had never moved as fast as he did when you said that. He had jumped up so he was on his elbows, facing you with wide eyes.

"No!! Please! You were so good!" He cried out, making you laugh at him. You just gave him a wink before you got to your feet and went to get the groceries you had left in the hallway.

Seungmin

"How about we go in there? Maybe I can find you a shirt?" You spoke after pointing to a store.

You were currently out shopping with your boyfriend, Seungmin. He had asked you to get him an outfit, not for any special occasion of anything, just for shits and giggles. It was your favorite type of dates, the ones where you don't really plan anything, you just end up doing fun and silly things.

Seungmin nodded and you soon dragged him into the store. The layout of the shop was like any other, so you soon made your way to the back where the mens clothing was.

As you were casually roaming the racks of clothes, the speakers soon started playing one of your favorite songs, making it impossible for you to not hum along. You kept looking at the different items of clothing on your left, Seungmin behind you, looking through the clothes on your right hand side.

Soon, the song picked up, you quietly jamming along, allowing yourself to softly sing along as there were no other customers near you.

Your hand suddenly slid over a material that caught your attention. It was a green oversized tee, with some colorful and funky letters on the front. You cut yourself off to turn around and show Seungmin the shirt, asking him what he thought about the item.

You held it up, but no reply. "Seungmin?" You tried again. It was odd seeing as he was looking at you with a slight smile, yet he was not replying to your question. You then lowered the shirt and waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You okay?" You asked him once he gently shook his head to re-focus his eyes. He nodded gleefully.

"Sorry, your voice was just so good that I completely forgot where we were." He admitted, giving you a look. You pursed your lips and spun on your heel, so he wouldn't see your burning cheeks.

I.N

Date night! You and boyfriend Jeongin had just been at a local restaurant for a cute night out. Nothing overly fancy, just a chance to enjoy each others company, since you both had been busy lately.

After you had paid your bill, the two of you went for a walk to enjoy the warm, evening air. With nowhere in mind, you just casually wandered down the street, your hands intertwined as you swung them back and forth, pulling and pushing at each other in a joking manner.

"Woah, when did this get here?" Jeongin suddenly asked as you passed a building with a bright neon sign hanging out front. You looked to your side to see what it was he was talking about.

Karaoke, the neon sign read. You turned back to your boyfriend and gave him a smug smile, hoping he was thinking the same as you. He returned the smile and suddenly you were being shown to a private room by the hostess.

The first few songs were just the two of you messing around, screaming ABBA into your respective microphones. At one point while picking the next song, Jeongin saw a song he really wanted to do, but as you didn't know the lyrics, you decided to sit this one out.

He belted his heart out to the tune you found unfamiliar, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. Jeongin was after all a singer in a world-renowned band- boy had talent.

The song came to an end, resulting in you giving him a standing ovation as he playfully bowed repeatedly.

"I'm your biggest fan!" You raised your hands to your mouth and pretended to be yelling it at the 'stage', like he just held a concert for thousands. You both laughed at yourselves before Jeongin announced it would be his turn to sit one out. You took that as you cue to get up from the couch and pick a song.

You were no singer, never was- never will be, at least not in public. So when you had to pick a song, you didn't care if it didn't 'fit your range', or 'suit your voice'. You picked a song you liked and ran with it.

The melody started, and you raised your mic to your lips, singing the words that were showing on the large screen in front of you. You found it wasn't as fun to sing without your boyfriend, but got through the song anyways.

As most things do, the song came to and end. You placed the mic on the table and turned around to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Mid turn, you saw your boyfriend like you never had before. His eyes were wide and his jaw was lose.

"What?" You asked him, uncapping the water bottle and taking a swig.

"Where did that come from?" He asked, eyes still wide as dinner-plates. You raised your eyebrow in a questioning manner, as if you were asking him to elaborate. "You're an amazing singer! How have I never heard that before?"

You felt your cheeks grow hot, and your eyes instantly found the ground, suddenly too shy to look at Jeongin. He chuckled at your reaction, and leaned forward so he could reach your hand from where he was sitting. He then pulled you back so you fell to the couch, crossing your arms over your chest, your shoulders up to your ears by now.

"We have to do this more often so I can hear you sing more!" He stated as he poked your arm, trying to get you to be less shy- and somehow it worked.

Hope you liked it! Feel free to request again!

-bentley

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop one shot #kpop requests #kpop drabble #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids one shots #stray kids requests #stray kids drabbles #bang chan #changbin #lee know #hyunjin #felix #han #seungmin #i.n

[kayleebreanne09]

I’m on a boat

Topper x Reader

Cutesy imagine about you being a pogue, in love with a kook. Scared of making the fued worse, your relationship is a secret. Until topper decides, he wants to go public with the kooks. I LOVED writing about this💜

Pogues vs kooks. Much like the montague’s & the capulets, it’s a battle that never ends. “It’ll be fine baby, they will end up loving you almost as much as I do” topper said, stopping to kiss me on the forehead as we walked hand in hand to ward Cameron’s big ass boat. Topper & I were the Romeo & Juliet of outer banks. We were crazily in love & almost no one knew about us. I was forced to admit the truth to Kie after a very embarrassing incident where she walked in on us trying to find a moment alone inside an unoccupied pantry at the wreck. “Not on the food!” She had cried while rolling her eyes. Aside from her, no one knew. Of course I didn’t enjoy being a secret, I’d love to be able to bring topper to the chateau & cuddle in the hammock with him while listening to John B tell us the newest insane adventure he’d been on. I wanted him there with me at the boneyard parties where JJ & I were constantly battling it out to see who could drink the most. I wanted Topper to pull me close, wrapping his arms around me while we danced at midsummers. But I was more terrified of losing him. I was afraid of my friends reacting badly & making me choose sides. I was afraid of his friends bailing on him, leaving him alone after all their years of friendship. I’d go to hell & back for Topper but could I give up my best friends? They were the closest thing to family that I had. Could I ask him to give up his? Toppers friends were terrifying, sure. My only run ins with Rafe had been when he was beating the hell out of one or more of my friends. Kelce was always on the side lines, encouraging Rafe or whoever else to start a fight with anyone resembling a pogue. But all that aside, they were still his friends. Because of that, they had to have some good inside them. Topper had his flaws too, everyone does. All I know is that Topper would fight to the death for me. He laid in the sand with me looking at the stars & telling me his dreams. When I was mad, he’d stroke my hair & ask me who’s ass he needed to beat. He’d lay in bed with me nose to nose cuddling & list every single thing he loved about me until I blushed tomato red & hid my face in his pillow which just made him burst out laughing. He had my heart. Which is why, against my better judgement, he was leading me right onto Ward Cameron’s boat. My nerves hit an all time high as we neared his group of friends. Everyone was drinking, dancing, smoking joints & some were scattered about partaking in some harder drugs. This was a full out kook party & one of the things was poorer than the other, ya know? Topper felt my hand clinch & slightly leaned down to where I could feel his breath on my ear. “It will be fine sweetheart. Breathe!” My body shivered, reacting to him even in a room full of people. I pushed away the unholy thoughts about what I wanted to do to him right then & took his advice, taking a deep breath. He kept our fingers intertwined as we walked up to his friends. “Whoa Top, I didn’t think you’d be into banging a lowlife pogue.” Before I even had a chance to shoot Rafe a go to hell look, Topper was face to face with the boy, only inches away. Anger was radiating off of him in waves. “Do. Not. Ever. I mean ever, talk about (Y/N) like that. If I see even a dirty look given her way, your ass is grass. Ya hear me? That goes for all of you. You’re supposed to be my friends. I love her! Can’t you be happy for me?” He asked his anger finally giving way to sadness. Kelce just stared. Rafe started to speak but I took a step forward. I stuck my hand out in his direction. “Hi Rafe, I’m (Y/N) it’s nice to meet you.” He looked at me & walked off. I turned to Topper to see him staring off into the water looking upset. “Babe, it’s okay. I’ll get them to warm up to me. I’m never going to let you lose your friends” I said standing on tip toes to kiss his cheek. “I love you so damn much. Drinks?” He questioned. I nodded my head vigorously.

About 4 shots of fireball, things were a lot less tense. I kept Topper laughing as we danced around & I did my best attempt at moonwalking & the sprinkler. I thought he might actually kill over once I started doing the stanky leg. Toppers loud laughter brought Kelce over. He joined us on our make shift dance floor & proceeded to do the YMCA. Topper busted out with the chicken dance. I smiled at him & Kelce, as we all looked like idiots pulling out our best dance moves. “Shots!” I said running & grabbing 3 shot glasses of tequila & bringing them back.

“Guys! I have the perfect song!” I shouted, maybe a little too loudly in my drunken state. I ran to the aux cord connecting to the boats huge sound system. Kelce followed & chuckled while watching me scroll through my music as I cussed my blurry vision. “Yes!” I cried in victory as I ran towards topper. He caught me, spinning us around as he pulled me too his chest. “Oooh very smooth Romeo” I giggled staring up into his beautiful eyes. He silenced me with a passionate kiss. His hand was on my cheek & his other on my lower back, pulling me as close as two people can be. Alcohol just tripled my love & attraction to my sexy ass kook boyfriend. “You keep that up, we are going to have to sneak out of here and-“ I was cut off by the first notes of my song starting so I shot to the front of the boat, spreading my arms out, & letting the wind blow through my hair, chilling my warm skin. “Oh shit, get your towels ready, it’s about to go down!” I yelled along with the song. “I got my swim trunks & my flippy floppy’s, I’m flippin burgers, you at kinko’s straight flippin copies!” I laughed as I sang along dancing wildly. I saw Rafe watching from the side of the boat. His mouth started to slightly turn up in the beginnings of a smile. I took that opening & danced up to him, taking his hands in mine dancing backwards, dragging him to the middle of the boat with me. “Believe me when I say...I fucked a mermai-ai-ai-aid!” My smile took up my whole face as he sang along with me during my favorite part. Topper ran up & put his arms around both of us, singing along. Then came Kelce. We were all in this makeshift circle huddle singing out hearts out. Some of the other random kooks even joined in on our little karaoke party.

Finally, once the sun had sank completely down & everyone had went their separate ways...Topper, Rafe, & I were laying on the highest part of the boat. We were laid on our backs, looking up at the stars. Rafe passed the blunt to me. I inhaled deeply, held it, then gently blew the smoke into the night sky. “Topper, I’m happy for you man” Rafe said resting his hand on toppers shoulder. “(Y/N) I apologize for being so rude earlier. It’s just, my whole life, I’ve been taught that the only way to be respected in life is through money & power. I was told that a mans worth is measured by his millions so I’ve resented the lower class. If the other pogues are anything like you...I mean, maybe I could rethink my stance.” He said quietly. “It’s all forgiven Rafe, I’m really glad we can be friends!” I said grinning over at him. Topper felt for my hand in the dark & gently squeezed it. “Thank you” he whispered in my ear. “Anything for you. Always.” I said bringing my lips to his then quickly laying back down, completely at ease under the light of the bright moon. Topper pulled my body closer to his as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way this pogues vs kooks war could be ended. If anyone could it, Topper & I could. Together, we’d take on the world.

#the outer banks #outer banks #obx netflix #topper obx #topper x reader #topper thornton #topper #topper fanfiction #topper fanfic #topper imagine #rafe cameron #rafe obx #Spotify

[mochilicious-yoongi]

Title: The Battle of the Exes

Pairing:MYG x Reader x JK

Sypnosis: Two exes met unexpectedly, what happens when both still are not ready to let go?

Warning: sexual tension, fluff and angst, past relationship,

Rating:Mature

Author's note: I'm sorry for all Jk biased out there don't hate me please, I promise there will be some twist and turns in the next part. It's gonna be multiple chapters so please bear with me. Thank you for reading.

Tags :@adventuresinwonderlust

Chapter 1

A mass of warm bodies grinding to each other fills the club on a Saturday night. The smell of sweat combined with perfumes permeates the air inside the club. The loud sounds of club music ringing to your ears. You are there with some of your friends and you know what you want. Wearing a mini tube leather dress and dwarf boots you stayed at the bar stool, already downed 4 shots of Gibson.You're getting bored, none of the guys who came to get your attention interests you. You don't know what is wrong when you know getting laid is why you are here for.

Is it because of the most beautiful man you've met in your entire life sitting across the club in the VIP area? "Most beautiful? Well definitely." A tinge of Bitterness caught your tongue. The asshole didn't even notice you are here.Absentmindedly,You played the rim of the cocktail that you have in your hand then hold on it tight, knuckles turning white. You wanted to scream and throw the alcoholic drink at the face of the man who had the guts to play all cool while you are sitting there, goodmood gone already just when the guy and his friends walks inside the club. The thought of him with his beautiful date makes you want to cry. Why all of the freaking days that he can come to this club he chooses to do it now? Does the universe conspires with him to despise you? Staring is rude but you can't help but threw your eyes again to Min Yoongi, yes the one and only Min fucking Yoongi who happens to be your ex-boyfriend. He is the award winning song writer-producer slash famous rapper who spits fire and bags awards. His face is always plastered in any form of social media for endorsement. After few years of hard work he now co-owns one of the largest entertainment company "Cypher Entertainment,buying 50 percent of its shares and worked his magic .Now he is a fucking CEO of a multi million dollar company and that leaves you as a loser typical 9 to 5 office worker in a small publication company. You know him from the base of his head to the tips of his toenails and can see through him like you can see the palm of your hands. Why of course, you were there when he had his first ever underground battle and you were there when he made it to the top. His personal assistant, his manager, his everything. You were there when he got his first ever recognition, whenever he cries when he experiences writers block. You were there, you were always there. But being together all the time and working 24/7 took the toll on your relationship. The demands on his career, the concept of being single in the public eye.The screaming fans and all those mother fucking endless reminder of him basically tied to a contract to keep your distance away from him. It worked at first,but when he became big, you drifted away, you too small to hold on. Why? because he fucking belongs to the Public. It's been 2 years but sadly, you're not still over Min fucking Yoongi. A bitter smile came out of your red lips. He must be presumably really happy that he chooses his own career rather than his own love story.After all,he got everything now. Money, car, women, fame. He was now conversing with his friends, with his usual stoic demeanor. The soft brown locks he keep on ruffling every now and then out of his habit.Those catlike eyes with a small bopping nose giving him the aura of a bored grumpy look that looks like a permanent scowl. Those thin pink lips that shows off a gummy smile when he is happy making him look like a baby. Oh how you misses those lips that once used to express his love for you by rapping sweet verses out of no where and whispers sweet nothings to your ear. His pale skin that shows off whatever style and color he wears that any woman would dream of. Hitting the gym is not Yoongi's favorite but he kept his lean body with proper nutrition and random exercise. And looking at him now with his expensive jacket, you can tell he still love the feeling of leather into his body. He easily gets cold, and he loves to share warmth.Admittedly, he is the solely fucking reason why you are still single for the last two years of your life. And life being the unfair asshole he is,here you are, a wallflower, with your devastatingly gorgeous ex across the club with a beautiful blonde girl on his lap.

He must've sense that someone is watching him, his eyes roam inside the club and notice you sitting on the bar stool on the club counter. He smirked, when you automatically dropped your eyes down to your dwarf boots. You turned back again to face the bartender and grab your phone. His eyebrows quirks when he noticed that you are alone. He knows that you didn't jump into relationships after your break up, After all your Instagram and Twitter accounts speaks for your self. And you still have the same circle of friends that he bumps into occasionally.He can still remember how often you used to post about him. Maybe not his face, who used to fill your stories before August D made it, but his piano, his guitar, and even his veiny hands after his debut. If there is something about you that he loved, it's how proud you are for his success,his number one fan,no matter how little you shared about it. It was when he signed up for his career when you stop sharing Yoongi on your social media. The last time she posted about Yoongi is a black aesthetic of eyes with tears underneath the long the lashes. That was two years ago. You share updates but it's all about your self. You never posted how bad the break up was which relieved Yoongi. No Yoongi is not stalking you(of course not ,you just didn't blocked him in his private account) well that's what he is trying to tell himself.Your boyfriend being a public property is not easy but you took it maturely. Yoongi has his own relationships for the past two years, jumping from one relationship to another. He was blinded by his pride,in denial of the idea being stil inlove with you. And here he is with his girlfriend sitting on his lap with a name Seulgi. Now is not the time to focus on you but he can't help it. The thought of you still not over him makes him smug and his chest puffed out of joy. Knowing that no one can take his place in your heart and mind, with a little help of alcohol he would like to play a little game with you and if you get out of the club because of jealousy, that could only mean one thing, you still love him. His pretty Y/N. The only woman he promised to love for the rest of his life. He waited for your eyes to be locked to his own again knowing how curious you get. And god how he was never wrong,After a few moments you lifted up your gaze to Yoongi and gasp when he locked his eyes to yours. He smirked,and he moved his left hand slowly at first caressing the lower back of the girl sitting on his lap. No matter how hard you convince your self, you can't seem to move your eyes away from Yoongi. You know you shouldn't look but you can't stop yourself. Then his right hand cupped the girls face and like a slow motion he kissed her lips all while looking straight at you. Smug expression on his face. Your eyes widen with what Yoongi is doing. And you felt like something is awfully hammering your chest. Frozen on your seat you just watch as the scene unfold in front of your eyes. Numbness filled your body. Yoongi was never a fan of PDA. The boldest thing he has already done in public is to hold hands and place a smack on your lips.Yoongi kisses the girl hungrily and his hands moved lower to cupped the girls ass, kneaded it and slapping it playfully. For you on that point,One thing is for sure, he is doing that on purpose to hurt you. Thinking you Can't take it anymore, you turn your back from him with all the strength left on your body. You want to cry but still you don't want to cause a scene. And with a heaving chest you tried to collect yourself, downed the 5th martini,and calmed your breathing. "That fucking ass hole," You muttered as you place the now empty cocktail glass on the counter. Rage fills your body and your body shaking that you wanted to murder him and that bitch with your bare hands "If these is what Yoongi wants then two can definitely play this game. " You promised your self.

Just as your mind spins on how to take a revenge on him, another martini is placed right in front of you. Wondering why the bartender put another shot of martini when you haven't ordered yet,you eyes the bartender with a questioning look. With a smirk,the bartender pointed the man across the club who happens to buy you the drink. Then a plan suddenly struck you. You wouldn't mind if the guy is ugly or fat or old, what's more important is you could get even. Now is the time to pull out the big guns,Subtly checking that Yoongi is looking.Elegantly, you turned your body from the stool to follow who his finger is pointing at. Your eyes lands to a beautiful man with a bunny smile.The guy lifts his drinks to your direction and nods,a knowing smirk in his lips. Your eyebrow quirks,you know him, JK Jeon or Jungkook, a chaebol who confirmed that he loves to sleep around. He was a spoiled brat, very good in everything, snatching women from left to right and paints the town red based on his Instagram Stories and Twitter accounts.His left shoulder draped over the velvet VIP couch and is man spreading, sexiness oozing from his body. Well that is an understatement because this guy is hot as in hell H-O-T! Specially when the man downs the alcohol in one go let out his tongue, licked the left residue on his lips flaunting his as the famous August D calls it, TONGUE TECHNOLOGY. "Hmm interesting," you said to yourself and continued to unabashedly check the guy out. Then a lopsided grin came out of jungkook's lips with your action and he quirks his eyebrow, clearly challenged,he opens his arms wide showing himself off. You know that silent gesture in this place where you go once in a while to enjoy yourself, Jungkook is just one of those typical players,very open,nonetheless game. You considered your self lucky tonight,the universe may not despise you at all. This guy who wants you is literally walking sex! A sexy man bun is neatly tied on top of his raven hair with few strands falling at the side.His eyes were big but not innocent looking instead, mischievousness glints his eyes.He is definitely bigger and broader judging him from the button down shirt that emphasizes his muscled chest and arms. Inside his black leather pants are His sinfully pair of thick thighs hugging the trousers tightly. Different Tattoos littered over his strong arms and biceps. This guy is as hot as fuck and will definitely be the best in place of someone tonight. You lift the martini to jungkook's direction , smiles seductively making sure your eyes locked with him. Slowly you finishes the drink with one go officially making it your 6th martini for tonight.You licked your lips sensually over the crimson painted lips,checking Yoongi over your peripheral vision. Enjoying the idea that Yoongi is now the one who is watching. Yoongi-1 ,Y/N-1.Oh how the tables had turned.

You moved your feet towards the scorching bodies, hips swaying sexily, you smiled sweetly at Jungkook silently inviting him for a dance . The guy quickly follows, walks in few strides and catches your hips with his warm palms in no time. Your hands automatically landed on his strong neck and the consumption of alcohol makes you feel brazen, a lot bolder. You run your palms over his broad shoulders,body sensually swaying to the beat, you can feel his warm breath against your skin as his face is situated at the curve of your neck. Hermes Le Monsieur Li,you recognize the perfume. Jungkook must be sensitive to scents. His intoxicating smell made your mind spin. Thankfully you've sprayed Victoria secrets noir tease,careful not to overwhelm others with your scent. You don't want to drive Jungkook away from you. You can feel his nose brushing against the sensitive skin on your neck. "Hmm..you smell good baby,your perfume is not overpowering your own scent, " He said with a ragged voice. You don't know why but you find jungkook's statement help truly raise your confidence.The hot temperature is now noticeably thick in the air. "Thanks for the compliment, I can say the same thing to you gorgeous", you flirted back, smile not leaving your lips. He raise his eyes and looked at you with a smile gracing his lips. You we're mesmerized by his eyes, how they become innocent looking,like how come stars and galaxies spins inside his doe eyes. Then Jungkook moves back, spin you a little so that your back is now facing him. You know now there is no point on turning back from your plans and you need to make the most out of it. This guy is attractive per se and he seems to you attracted to you too. "What's your name baby?he said and his nose brushes your ears. " Y/N" You simply said and clutches on his chest. "Hush baby,im gonna take care of you, gonna make you feel good" He said and peppers small kisses on your hair. You don't know if it's because of the alcohol consumption, but you becomes light headed and the longing for someone to worship and take care of you takes over your senses. You danced sensually with Jungkook for only God knows how long almost looking like making love on the dance floor. His muscled biceps protectively curled on your body. You can feel him licking,kissing your neck and the folds of your ears. You just didn't expect how your own body starts to betray you. You we're wanting more of jungkook, wanting more of his touch.

Yoongi saw the pain that painted in your eyes as he pulled out the now he called "stupid stunt." Instead of You running away crying you just stayed there and is now dancing sensually with none other than Jeon fucking Jungkook, a very handsome guy and a chaebol for one. He knows him for they now belong to the same circle. Just Jungkook would still live comfortably even without working all his life and probably with much as he dies with family's same old money.Jeon didn't even try to hide how he literally eye fucked you. He shuddered with the thoughs of Jungkook with you. He knew he fucked up. How could he forget that Y/N is such a stubborn woman. She never gives up and she never shows weakness to anyone even to Yoongi. She cries alone and carries her burden inside like a champ. She didn't cry when Yoongi broke it all off. All he knows is when he closes the door of Y/Ns apartment, a series of wild screams and string of curses filled the place which shattered his heart into a million pieces. He knows you love Yoongi but would never deny him in reaching out for his dreams.He stared at the pair, piercing bullets on jungkook's head. If glares could kill then Jungkook must be lying in the dancefloor lifeless.He had witnessed it all, from how Y/N turned his body to check the guy, to the way she responded to his advances. He can't keep himself from glaring. His normally pale skin flushing red reaching the tips of his ears. His heart is racing with millions of pictures on what the two people in the dance floor can do if they decided to take their business at home. His fists automatically folds with anger and frustration.

"You okay hyung?" Namjoon asked.

Yoongi didn't answer so he just followed where Yoongi is looking at. "Shit hyung, Y/N is with Jeon fucking Jungkook?" Namjoon said his eyes wide. No wonder his hyung is throwing daggers at the dance floor right now. Namjoon is Yoongi's business partner. And not to mention best friend for like ten fucking long years. So he knows Yoongi like the back of his hands. He is also the witness on how Yoongi and Y/N are whipped for each other. Where did they begin and how they ended.They are here at the club with jimin and Hoseok to take their Japanese partners for drinks after a successful meeting to set up a new headquarters in Japan.His Hyung tag his current girl along so not to feel bored. And right now she is nowhere to be seen, probably dancing with Hoseok and Jimin.Namjoon closes his eyes when his hyung closes his fists,knuckles turning white when Jungkook grinds his crotch to Y/Ns ass. The chaebol is well known for his appetite for women as the international playboy. And judging by his actions he surely will not let go of Y/ N without taking her home. He seems to looked sober enough while Y/N is obviously stupidly drunk. Before he can say his warning ,Yoongi is already on his way to the dance floor on Y/Ns direction. "Fuck, this smells trouble, " He said and excused himself to the partners to follow Yoongi. He pulled his phone out dialling Hoseok's number and told him about the situation.

"Y/N you're drunk, I'm gonna take you home. " A raspy voice you well know even in your sleep said. With droopy eyes and wobbly feet you tried to fix your gaze to Yoongi. The movement hits you,making your vision spin."Shit, I'm drunk, " You muttered and cling to jungkook. The chaebol chuckled and instinctively wrap his arms around you. You're too drunk and angry to care about Yoongi. The fuck is he doing?

Yoongi is raging inside. He never felt so humiliated in his life. Y/N with this chaebol kid who are wrapped in their own littlebubble. Like he is not here,totally ignored.

"You.are.fucking.stupid. Min. Yoongi." He said to himself.

He closes his fist, fingers digging the skin like they want to draw out blood. His knuckles are turning white. He knows he already gave up his right two years ago but he can't control himself. Memories filled his mind, and he felt a sudden pang in his chest.The way you use to smile just for him. Those tears of joy you wiped away when he received his very first daesang. The dates at the park and movie nights at your apartment because he was damn broke. And the day he chose to break it up with you because he felt he is being unfair just because of a stupid contract.Needless to say those days that you stay by his side whether he was just like a grumpy little old man and a mood. He grabbed your hand and pull you out of the dance floor, but jungkook held you back, making you fall back in his arms. The two men shoots glares at each other. Nobody wants to back out,nobody wants to give in. You whined, nauseous because of too much alcohol. His eyes softened calmly, Yoongi reaches out his hand,silently asking Y/N to come to him. You felt confused, why is the fuck is he like these? One moment he is showing off his date, now he is worried you're drunk.

"Let me take you home", he said again with a firm voice. Your eyes widen,you cant believe what you just heard. " Do you know him baby? I need to make sure you'll get home safe yeah?Jungkook softly ask when you didn't answer. Yoongi bite his lip, what the fuck just this punk called Y/N? A sudden wave of jealousy hit him. Jungkook is calling his baby,baby? Since when did the fuck did he have the right to do so? "He is...But before you can even finish the sentence you felt again a sudden wave of nausea.He glared at Jungkook and without a word tugged Y/N to his arms. This time you landed right on Yoongi's arms. With your wobbly legs he supported you trying not to worsen how you feel.

" Kid she is my girlfriend and she is just my baby" Yoongi spits, his voice firm and eyes dangerously dark. Your neck almost broke from a sharp turn to look at Yoongi. Stunned by the way he warns Jungkook about the endearment and the status of course.You wanted to move away and protest but your body is already too weak. The effects of alcohol, perfumes and the strobing lights effecting the function of your brain. It becomes worse when you can smell Yoongi's perfume Eau de vert, which is a mix of coconut sandalwood, rosewood and vanilla. Drunken by the scent,you press your nose into Yoongi's chest and inhaled the musky scent. Mind clogged this time of Yoongi's delicious scent, you became oblivious of the two men claiming their rights to take you home.

"She is alone, Jungkook said emphasizing the word "alone". The younger stand taller, sending his message of dominance over Yoongi.

"She is earlier, but now I'm here. " He spits.

Yoongi knows that Jungkook is righ but he didn't budge . He can't trust Y/Ns judge of character tonight. Yes she was all alone and she accepted the fact that Jungkook has a motive when he buys her a drink. But he won't let her do stupid things she might regret tomorrow.The chaebol surely won't give up easily because of a brat he is. And Jungkook never accepts rejection.They kept on glaring each other, measuring each other's capability, strength and ability. Yoongi knows a fight wouldn't be an easy win judging by Jungkooks muscled physique. And right now he regrets that he is not working out regularly. He dropped his gaze down to you who is clinging so close to him. Your arms engulfing his torso inhaling his scent. He was glad he is wearing your favorite scent tonight.Yoongi coos at the sight, his free hand runs into your locks. Jungkook was stunned with the sudden change in the man's behavior. One moment he was shooting daggers at Jungkook, now he is cooing at the sight of the drunken state of a woman clinging to him like a koala.Being the socially awkward that Yoongi is, thankfully Namjoon came to rescue. "Hey, I'm Kim Namjoon, from Cypher Entertainment, we are with Y/N. " Jungkook looked at the man with a questioning look. "And he is Min Yoongi, his boyfriend, " He quickly added ,to convince Jungkook that they know Y/N and they won't harm her. He quickly pulled Yoongi's phone hoping he still have Y/Ns picture. He choses the one taken before their break up, the latest one on his camera roll, click the camera and shoving it to Jungkook. "We came in together,its just lovers quarrel you know? Namjoon must definitely be enjoying this. The youngers face contorted. Frown visible in his smooth forehead.Yoongi felt his cheeks flushed because of embarrassment. Since when the fuck Namjoon very good in fabricating lies? And Namjoon better have an explanation on how on hell he knows he still have her pictures. He wanted to kick Namjoon's shin so much but he kept his stoic face. Namjoon noisyly clears his throat.He mentally did make a note to do the kicking later. Thank god to HD photos he seemed convinced, the younger step back.

"You should learn how to treat her right, " Jungkook said. His arms crossed in his chest, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. Yoongi stilled for a few seconds before he fires back. "Coming from the guy who takes care of different women ,every night, "he spits. How dare this punk judge him. This freaking muscled pig is such a brat.

"Well, they come to me willingly and enjoyed everything while it last right? The chaebol answered back unabashedly flashing his pearly whites.

Yoongi wets his lips and take a sharp breath before he speak. "Listen kid, I don't have time and I don't need your share of stories of your carnal adventures.And I'll gladly tell you Y/N is not that type of woman. You can flaunt that fuck boy image of yours everywhere not to me. And to cut it short all I wanna say is for you to literally FUCK OF, " He angrily spits and carefully picked up Y/N bridal style to move her out of the dancefloor. With Namjoon following him he started to walk away from Jungkook just to be called out by the chaebol. He stop but he never turned around.

"Hey Mister Min! I just wanna tell you that I always use protection! I'll make sure to give her a good time next time! "Jungkook yells boastfully that made some of the patrons turned their attention to them. Yoongi mentally curses at the chaebols brattiness. Turning back with a whining Y/N in his arms he gave Jungkook a deadly glare.

"Jungkook-ssi, thanks to you, I'm totally convinced that you are just a muscled pig with a pea size brain," Yoongi said mockingly and left the chaebol that just smirked in his remark. Jungkook lips twitch but why does he felt a sudden pain in his chest? A unfamiliar feeling rose deep inside him as the chaebols watched Yoongi carrying Y/N walk out of the club with Namjoon following closely behind.

*******

"What the fuck was that Hyung?"Namjoon ask as he marches out the club following Yoongi .

"That fucking chaebol is pissing me off." He said nonchalantly. Despite his calm behavior he still feels the rage inside.Namjoon frowned at Yoongi's statement. He knows Yoongi too much to buy that.

"Care to tell me why in the hell that you have an ex girlfriend in your arms, fucking fighting over a chaebol who scored a date with Y/N and left your now so called girlfriend in the damn club? His best friend scoffed as they continue to walk with some people who moved out of the way for them to pass.

Namjoon is right, he really doesn't have a clue why he became so fucking possessive when Jungkook and Y/N just grind at each like some horny rabbits. He doesn't have the right to stop Jungkook if he wants to take her home tonight. He.doesn't.have.the.fucking.rights. He should have let Y/N do her thing. Let her stay with Jungkook as long as she wants. And again he chooses not to answer directly. Damn, why does he have to be confused?

"She's too drunk, I don't want her to do stupid things,she should go home safe. "He said. Namjoon just snorted clearly not convince with the answer.

"Then should I take her home myself so you can go back to Seulgi? " He ask. Damn Namjoon and his 148 IQ. Yoongi halted but chose to walk again after a moment.

"I mean she can go home safe and sound with me, I'll make sure to tuck her nicely to bed. Put some water on her bedside table, change her clothes to slee-..

" And then I'll fucking kill you, "Yoongi snapped. He won't let anyone see her Y/N in her vulnerable state. Wait what? His Y/N? The fuck Min Yoongi?he scolded his self.Namjoon just snort. They're outside the club already and walking towards Yoongi's Mercedes Benz s class. With a little difficulty he grab his key in his leather jacket careful not to wake Y/N up. After unlocking, he carefully situated Y/N in the passenger seat and put on her seatbelt. He then walk around back to the driver's side ready to leave the parking lot.

"Hyung." It's Namjoon leaning into the car window forward.

"What? Yoongi ask after starting the ignition.

"You have to make up your mind Hyung, or you will hurt her again. " His best friend said, in a serious tone.

Yoongi look at Namjoon, his best friend nodded. He gripped the steering wheel strongly and bit his lip, knuckles turning white. Namjoon step back after giving him a small tap in his shoulder. Namjoon, being the best friend he is always. He courtly nodded then he closes the door of the benz and speeds away from the club.

#bts #min yoongi #jeon jungkook

[realllllfangirllllll]

More Than Friends ||

Chp. 37

Masterlist

CEO!Jaehyun AU x Reader

College Student!Jaemin AU x Reader

Summary: After a complicated relationship with the infamous CEO, you want nothing more than to live your life as a normal college student; however, Mr. CEO just can’t let you go.

{ Previous / Next }

Jaehyun’s pov

The feeling of my comfortable chair gave me a tiny ounce of relief. I let my body sink into the furniture as the slow jazz music played in the background of my study room. Although the music was relaxing, my mind was not. I ran my hand through my already messed up hair as I recalled the events that happened the past days.

The moment the projector screen lit up, I knew someone was set to sabotage the night. What I didn’t know was that they would stoop so low as to sneak into my company and expose my personal love life.

I quickly ushered the security to come forward in an attempt to bring down the video that never seemed to end. I hate to say this, but Jaemin was actually of help. Not only did he stop the projector from playing, but he even assured his father in as many ways as he can to prevent an argument. As the two of us tried to explain to the chairman, we were rudely interrupted by a wave of reporters. Suddenly, the speakers intruded our eardrums.

This is the true identity of the person you plan on working with. An office romance with an intern? How can someone be so unprofessional… I am hugely disappointed and so should you.

The distorted announcement kept ringing in my ears. My heart shattered when I scanned the ballroom, desperately searching for y/n, but to no avail did I find her. I panicked and rang the group chat in an attempt to find her whereabouts. I was worried sick at this point, not even bothering about the rowdy reporters and their flashing cameras. It was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. I pushed through the crowd and left the chairman to explain himself. 

This very action made it final that Starship will not be working with my company anymore, but the only thing on my mind was my girlfriend. I wasn’t going to leave her alone in this situation. I know her well enough to know that she will put all the blame on herself when in actuality, it was all my fault. 

My phone buzzed and I quickly checked the notification. The next thing I knew, I dropped my phone and ran to the women’s bathroom. As I ran past the many hallways and doors, my heart sank deeper and deeper. At that moment, it felt as if I was seven years old again, running to the hospital to find my mom. I remember running away from home when I witnessed my father’s affair, reaching my mom’s hospital room a little too late, and the letter she left me that caused me to cry in the middle of the hospital until my eyes burned.

On the letter, it read: If you get this letter, then it must mean you got in a fight with your father, my husband. Don’t be too mad at him sweetie, you’ve been a good boy and have done nothing wrong. I was simply too weak to provide your father any happiness so he did what any other person would do. Please forgive him, son. However, your father’s and my actions do not define who you are. You are special. You are not just any other person. Makeup with your father, but do not be like him. You are too pure-hearted for this world and so you must grow up to be strong and only love those you can trust. Never fall for those who want to benefit from you, but never lose those who make you feel at home. Home is where your heart lies. My dear son, follow your heart and everything else will follow. Love you always, Eomma~

At that very moment, I followed my heart. I ran like my life depended on it, because it did. I prayed to the gods that the love of my life was ok.

When I reached the ladies restroom, I found Soyeon with a tear-stained face, sitting against the wall. I was about to lose all sanity, thinking of the worst case scenario. Roughly, I gripped her shoulders, shaking her to snap her out of her sorrow daze. “What the fuck happened to y/n?!” I shouted louder than I wanted to, fear taking over me. I continuously shook her, trying to get an answer from her.

She slowly snapped out of her daze and turned to me, wiping her face, she softly answered, “S-she fainted. I didn’t know what to do...” She continued to explain with her eyes shaking in fear, “I kept tapping her but s-she wouldn’t respond. I-I called Mark over and he took her somewhere...”

I kneeled down in front of her, a wave of relief washed over me after hearing that Mark was taking care of her. I silently comforted Soyeon, getting ready to take her home from this chaotic mess I caused. 

As soon as I got home, I relentlessly tapped my phone. I contacted y/n and everyone that might know where she is. I need to know she was fine, but I received no response.

The next day, I turned on the tv to see news about y/n and me scattered all over the channels and on my tablet. I figured she’d seen them all by now, so I had to text her again to make sure she was ok.

I waited and waited for her response but nothing came. 

Finally, I ran to my phone when I heard it buzz, but the next thing I knew, my heart shattered into a million pieces. 

Jaehyun... I don’t think I can do this. It’s just too much... bye

I stared at the text she sent me. I know she’s only doing this as a habit of running away from her problems. I know. I know that it was exactly like how she ran away from me after developing feelings for me during our complicated relationship. I know it. I just know she still loves me and that's why I text her back, trying to set everything right. Trying to convince her to stay with me.

But she doesn’t reply.

I call her.

But her phone is turned off.

Rage took over me and I threw my already cracked phone across the living room, not even caring that it left a hole through the glass window.

The next few days, I spent my time locked up in the study. Neither did I slept nor did I talk to anyone, not even Johnny or Lucas. Occasionally, I would hear Soyeon pounding on my door, but I paid no attention. For the only thing on my mind was losing the love of my life.

It was all my fault. I dragged her into this lifestyle knowing she did not want the spotlight. I made her hide our love for the sake of my reputation. I was too caught up with loving her that I never realized how much I trapped her. It was nobody’s fault but me and my selfish tendencies. I was too greedy to ask for both success and love so now I’m face to face with its consequences. 

The vinyl record stopped playing and I was brought back to the present. I walked forward to change the record, a familiar R&B song played and immediately, I was thinking of her again.

This was the song that played whenever I was with y/n. I recall the morning after sleeping with her. This time, I was sober enough to feel every part of her. The song was playing in the background while she fell asleep on my chest. I would chuckle at how she acted so tough but ended back up in my bedroom. Her soft breathing would send shivers down my body. Back then, I thought it was only lust I felt. However, even then, I felt a warmth surround me every time we slept together. Her very presence made me feel at peace, whether we were making out or endlessly bickering. I loved every moment I spent with her, even when we were only sleeping buddies.

After our childish tickling battle and yet another intense session of fucking, I softly played this song in the bedroom as y/n hogged all my blankets on the bed. Her soft breathing and the sound of the music meshed perfectly into a serene tune. I remember laughing to myself. Never would I have thought anyone would know about me being ticklish nor thought I would do such childish things and laugh so hard from it. She made me feel like a kid that day, a kid that said “lotion” instead of “sorry.” That day, I only cared about having fun and not having to worry about why my father did what he did nor about my company struggling because of a spoiled brat. I felt like I was truly myself when I’m with her.

This song also filled the bookstore while I read her my favorite quotes from Pride & Prejudice. That wasn’t a mere coincidence, however. I did purposely tell the cashier to play the record when I saw it in midst of the endless boxes of vinyl. That was one of the first time I shared an innocent kiss with her. Ironic that the innocent kiss came after all the endless nights of lust. Nevertheless, my heart felt something that day. It was as if it was doing flips over and over again. Maybe it was because she initiated the soft kiss first, or maybe it was because she called me cute afterward. Or maybe it was just the fact that I had already started to fall in love with her.

Again, the song played in the background of my living room as I lulled her to sleep. I remember smiling to myself as I stared at her puffy eyes, having cried from watching The Notebook and was then clinging onto me while falling asleep. It was the very first time she truly believed that love in fiction could exist. She believed in it so much that she cried. It made me realize just how much our existence changed each other. I was the hopeless romantic who read romance to never forget how love can make up for so much. On the other hand, she was the atheist who read romance novels to see how love was just “fiction.” Although we both shared the same tough act toward others, we gradually changed. We became our real selves when we were together. We were each others’ safe haven. We weren’t just in a relationship, we formed a home.

Tears rolled down my eyes as I thought of our shared memories. She was my home. My heart only beats for her, and only her. 

My mom’s words suddenly filled my mind:  Never lose those who make you feel at home. Home is where your heart lies.

I wiped the tears off my face. That was it. I loved her too much. My world revolves around her and I am not going to lose her. It’s time for me to man up and show her that our love can overpower all hatred.

I rushed out of my study and left my house. I knocked wildly on Soyeon’s door. The moment the door flung open, I said with all seriousness, “I know what I need to do now, and I need your help again.”

———

• I was so stressed as I wrote this ashdkdhdkj •

• Stream BOOM 💥 •

• Omgg also I love The Rose sm so imma have to promote my bbys •

• Stream RED by The Rose 🌹 •

#nct #nct 127 #kpop social media au #wayv #nct dream #nct texts #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct jaehyun #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct 127 texts #nct social media au #nct 127 jaehyun #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #nct 127 smut #nct 127 scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun social media au #jaehyun texts #jaehyun nct #jung yoonoh #jung jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun timestamps #more than friends

[meetevieinthehallway]

and i can’t give that to you.

in which harry suffers from seasonal depression and she doesn’t know how to help.

-

there’s a thrum of guitar strings.

she hears it— and sighs.

she isn’t sure if she should breathe happily or sadly; there’s various possibilities of what she would find if she followed the sound until she unveiled the outcome.

she shivers because the gentle pluck of guitar strings is beautiful—he always plays so beautifully—but it’s a low toned, melancholic song and she’s torn between some unknown battle of duality.

she closes the door behind her body with her foot, the grocery bags in her hands making her arms begin to burn as she waddles to the kitchen. she sets them down and sighs, trying to ignore the guitar but she can’t and she shouldn’t.

his love huffs.

she blows air from out between her lips and her head drops to her chest. she turns, looking over her shoulder at the stairway— the music is coming from the top of it, their bedroom.

he hasn’t moved since i left, has he?

a glimpse at the clock confirms the three hours that have passed since she left, and her heart throbs at the possibility that he hasn’t shifted from his spot in their bedroom.

she kicks her shoes off and away and she’s mulling in her head some kind of speech but it helplessly dissipates as she walks up the stairs.

“haz?”

the plucking doesn’t cease and she isn’t sure if she wants it to anyways.

hesitancy.

always, always hesitancy when it comes to times like these.

moments like these are unsure and tentative for her; she can never know if she’s making the right choice because he turns so stoic and blank in the winter and she can never gauge any reaction.

even her steps are hesitant as she sighs outside their bedroom doorframe before walking in slowly.

his profile is to her.

he’s shirtless and sitting in the middle of their bed and his guitar is in his lap and he looks so fucking sad and gorgeous at the same time.

his eyes are downcast on his instrument and he seems lost in his music, so much so that he doesn’t react when she’s standing a foot into the room.

“haz?”

he jumps.

the dimples at the bottom of his back move and momentarily deepen and she sighs again—she feels like that’s all she does nowadays—because she hasn’t seen the dimples in his cheeks in what feels like forever.

she misses his smile.

his face turns so his eyes meet hers and she smiles small, hoping that his guitar playing was a sign of motivation— in any way.

“sorry.. i—... uh.”

hesitancy.

even he felt it.

“d-did y’just get home? would’ve... would’ve helped with the groceries—... putting them away.”

she smiles small, looking up at his curls as she steps closer. “’s okay.” she whispers. her hand moves to run through his hair, twisting it around her fingers, and his eyes flutter closed as his guitar is forgotten about. “you.. you showered?”

his eyes open. he nods, looking at the glimpse of pride that washes over her face and he draws his bottom lip in.

you’ve disappointed her that many times?— that a fucking shower makes her proud?

“that’s good. that’s—... that’s great, bub. h-how—” she sits next to him, hand falling to his thigh, “—how do you feel?”

harry looks into her hopeful eyes that beg for any indication of betterment, and he sighs. the truth is that yes, he does feel differently than he has been, but he still doesn’t feel happy, good.

he hates continuously disappointing her— but he can’t lie.

“i feel okay.” he whispers. he reaches slowly with his fingertips until they’re touching her skin, wrapped around her wrist and his touch burns her.

“scale from one to ten?”

he bites his lip.

he doesn’t like the number system.

his therapist had suggested it a long while ago, and his lovie likes it so that’s why he tolerates it.

to him, there was no way any value could replace a feeling, because some days his sadness could be a one but his loneliness could be a seven and averaging those together brings about a four and that seems wrong, off.

averages and means and medians have never been a solidified concept that most see it as—

it’s a summarization. a non specific, lacking of details summarization.

he doesn’t like summarizations.

but he does it for her— she says it’s a simplistic way for her to understand where he is in his own head, so she can try and help.

but nothing about this—him, being with him—is simplistic.

“four.”

she smiles small.

he’s been a two for the last couple of days.

he looks down on his guitar and his finger bounces on the string closest to him, “maybe a five? like—... a four ’nd a half.”

she smiles a bit brighter, squeezing his free hand. “okay.”

he smiles weakly but it doesn’t meet his cheeks or his eyes and he’s quiet for a long while and his fingers pulse in her hand. “do you wanna... do something today?”

she can tell it’s forced.

she can clearly see the reluctance on his face as he asks that— because he doesn’t want to go out.

but he’s being considerate because he knows it must be driving her crazy to be cooped up in here, taking care of her husband who barely wants to speak or move.

so she shakes her head.

“no, i didn’t necessarily have anything to do.”

he swallows.

harry slips his hand away from hers and her heart sinks, her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches him adjust his body to pluck at the strings again, his face further from her view.

“y’sure?” he’s mumbling and hasn’t taken her hand again, and she squeezes her fingers into a fist.

she nods. “yeah.”

but she isn’t sure.

this is when she is reminded to have faith—

where he’s looking away with saddened eyes and a rounded back and blinking away tears and not talking to her.

she prays every night after he falls asleep that he gets better—that spring comes sooner—because the outside winter air mingles with her husband’s sadness and she feels so lonely and cold and alone even when he’s next to her.

he’s heard her.

he’s heard the prayers— he’s seen her desperation.

google searches of how to make winter seem more lively, best ways to live with someone with depression, how to be a more supportive wife.

phone calls of her worried tone and hesitant breath and falling tears as she swallows down emotion and swallows down the advice from her mom, girlfriends, best friends, anyone.

tears at his therapy sessions where he admits he doesn’t take his medicine some days but throws it away— and he sees her shoulders deflate and he doesn’t have to know her inside and out to know that she’s belitting herself— that she thinks she is a failure.

he breaks every time.

it’s one of the only emotions he feels besides emptiness— heartbreak for his wife who feels like she isn’t enough.

she shouldn’t have to take care of him— not yet, anyways.

they’re fucking married, a team, a relationship that gives and takes equally and yes, takes care of one another—

but not like this.

not like this—where she can’t get through to him—where she struggles to coerce him to eat, to take his medication, to breathe, to let his emotions out.

he hates himself.

it comes with the depression, he thinks, the absolute loathing—

he hates that his depression is bringing her down.

harry sharply snaps at her sometimes and he hates himself every time he uncontrollably does so— his heart throbbing as he’s watching her inhale sharply and look away and back out and away from his space with a soft i’m sorry and teary eyes.

he always breaks into his own tears after he does so.

and she holds him, she holds him like he didn’t just yell at her for trying to help him— and he hates himself.

i don’t deserve her.

dumbass— you never have deserved her.

shut up, you don’t need to remind me.

but don’t i?

“what?”

he jumps a bit, his daze breaking as his fingers halt and he turns to her with furrowed brows.

“huh?”

“y’mumbled something.”

his eyes widen— he didn’t think his thoughts could escape his head like that; but he’s underestimated this fucked up brain millions of times in his life.

“i...”

he doesn’t know how to respond.

he’s staring at her and he can’t help but realize how utterly beautiful she looks— but how tired she is.

“nothin’... just, a lyric idea.”

“oh.”

he breathes.

—

the wind is fucking loud.

it’s loud and obnoxious and is causing the windows to rattle and harry is getting really fed up.

he knows better— he knows better than to let an uncontrollable force of nature piss him off, but it’s pulling him away from unconsciousness and causing an ache to pound in his skull.

or at least, add to one already there.

he groans when the branches knock at the window and squeezes his lids tighter, a frown falling onto his face as he wakes fully.

he grumbles, arm lazily flinging up to his face to drape across his eyes when he realizes the television is on and bright and he groans, eyebrows furrowed under his warm skin.

“h?”

he jolts. harry jolts up and his arm leaves his face and he pushes up slowly, rolling over and landing on the other side of his frame.

he squints.

she’s crying.

she’s wiping her tears quickly but he knows she’s crying because the dim light of the silenced tv illuminates the redness of her eyes as he blinks away the blurriness of sleep.

“sorry..— did the tv wake you?” she whispers, staring at the screen and praying he doesn’t notice the wobble in her voice.

he’s never seen her cry like this. she looks blank— like she’s unfeeling, unmoving, and his attention immediately jumps.

“you’re crying.”

she sniffles, shaking her head and placing an easy smile on her face as she glances to him. “i’m okay.”

he props himself up on his elbow. “no.” he murmurs, shaking his head. “lovie, you’re crying.”

she hasn’t heard lovie for such a long time.

it makes her cries choke her and she sobs once, pulling her lips into her mouth. she’s still looking at the television with saddened eyes, her fingers trembling in her lap as she shakes her head.

“love.”

she nods.

“you—... you can talk to me.”

he whispers and it breaks her.

“you can... am i—... am i the reason you’re crying?”

“don’t—..” she chokes, meeting his eyes and shaking her head. “don’t say that, harry, of course not.”

“it’s true, isn’t it?”

she’s quiet. she swallows once, hand reaching quickly for the remote, fingers nimbly moving to the off button.

the room goes black.

he sighs.

“go to sleep, harry.”

she rolls so her back faces him, and she tucks herself under the covers and sniffles.

he’s about to lay back down himself and let his drowsiness take over— but he stops himself.

he reaches over and twists the lamp on instead.

“no.”

her eyes flutter closed and they’re squeezed tightly.

“you’re sad. it’s because of me and...—” he places a hand on her shoulder and she moves to face him, letting the tears roll freely down her cheeks. he shifts greatly, sitting up so he’s sitting on the mattress and looking down on her, noticing the saturated pillow under her head. “i’m the reason you’re sad.” he whispers, folding his legs to sit cross legged.

“you aren’t, h.”

“please don’t lie to me.” harry’s eyes are pleading, hands folded in his lap. his shoulders are slouched, and he’s finally looking at her. “you’ve... you only show me your strength, but... i know you’re sad— that i make you sad.”

she swallows and looks at the comforter as she sits up and rests her back against the headboard. she doesn’t respond.

“do you regret marrying me?”

“what?”

he swallows. he looks down and away from her, wanting to hit himself for how desperate his brain is moving and thinking and spitting.

“...do you?”

his eyes are wet.

“are you crazy, h?”

“yeah. i am, that’s why i asked.”

she breathes through her nose and lets her eyes close, and she shakes her head.

“you... that’s not— you’re not crazy, harry. you know that.”

“i... i don’t know that.”

he hates himself.

he hates that he’s turning her sadness back into talking of himself— but he’s so far down that it pains his chest and it’s hurting the one person he loves more than anything.

“i act like i’m crazy.”

“you’re depressed; you aren’t crazy. and i don’t regret marrying you, why—”

“i hurt you.”

harry says it tremblingly and shakes his head, curls bouncing around his temples.

the room falls quiet and he hears the wind hit the windows again and a chill crawls through his spine and pushes on his throat to release his next words.

“i ask you that because i hurt you every day and you stay and i don’t.. i can’t comprehend how you don’t hate me.”

his eyes water.

it hurts to say but there’s a weight lifted off his chest the more he rambles and word-vomits and he lets his feelings run marathons across their sheets.

“i see... i see you. just because i’m sad and in my own head doesn’t mean that—... that i don’t see that you’re unhappy, that when i snap it makes you hesitant and when i don’t respond to you your heart breaks.”

the tears are flowing down her cheeks as she stares at the blanket, drinking in his emotions and there’s a weight lifted off her chest the more he rambles and word-vomits and he lets his feelings run marathons across their sheets and it hurts but he’s talking to her and—

“that’s why you’re crying.”

“harry—”

“no.”

he snaps at her and she flinches and he sniffles when he witnesses it— the turn of her face like he’s sent a flame to her cheek.

“and that.” he says, nodding at her. “you see it? you’re afraid of me, you have to tip toe around me like i’m a bomb and— you... god you are so good to me and i treat you so badly—”

“stop it.” her voice is trembling.

“—i am the worst husband—person—in the entire world—”

“stop!”

her voice is loud and it cuts through the room and breaks the rhythm of his speech. his eyes turn round and wide as she yells and his breathing is labored and his tears are pooled in his palms.

“i stay because i’m in love with you and because i want to take care of you. ever heard of in sickness and in health, harry?!”

“but i’m not taking care of you, love.”

“i don’t care!” she’s still yelling and now he’s the one who is flinching. “you’re sick, harry. when i have the flu or summat do..— do you get upset that you’re not taken care of?!”

he sniffs and wipes his cheek with the back of his hand.

“...no.”

“no. you don’t. because we love each other and care for each other and you act selfless when you’re in love with someone.”

he looks at her eyes and he can’t see her irises because the water is blocking his view.

“you just said it.”

“said what?”

“you act selfless when...— when you’re in love. that’s how it should be.”

she pauses.

“i’ve been so in my own head that—... that i fail in putting you first. you...” he shakes his head. “i have never loved anything more than i do you. you’ve stuck with me for so long and...”

harry swallows.

she swallows.

“i treat you terribly and... i don’t know how you haven’t left.”

it’s quiet.

“leaving you is worse than being sad for a little while.”

he sighs deeply, his body moving up and down with his sighs. her eyes are so sad and it causes more tears to pour from his eyes and suddenly he feels himself unable to catch his breath.

“i don’t make you happy.”

he’s sobbing now, harshly, and his hands land on his eyes as he cries into his palms. she sits up slowly, her fingers reaching to his wrist, her other joining when she sits fully.

“harry.”

“i want you to be happy and— ... i can’t give that to you.”

he’s shaking his head and his hands are still covering his eyes—pressing and pressing in hopes for the tears to just fucking stop—and she’s absolutely helpless; she can’t calm him and he’s trembling in her gentle touch.

“harry, breathe.”

he’s hyperventilating, breathing ragged and his chest is bouncing violently. her hand comes to his back and she’s rubbing slow, soft circles to attempt to lull him. his hands fall off his face and into her lap, his fingers reaching to wrap in her hand and he’s trying not to fall away from her. harry’s staring at their joined hands with widened eyes, gripping tightly, tears falling to his skin and hitting him at his forearms.

“love, shhh,” she’s shushing him through her own tears, helplessly trying to make him breathe. but she can’t pull her hands out of his grasp.

his eyes meet hers and he shakes his head, lips pulled in and he’s exasperated.

“this life is not what i promised you.” he cries, voice strained. “i want you to be happy and i don’t make you happy and i’d rather you leave me and be happy then stay here and be sad all the time—”

“shh,” her voice is quiet and her forehead falls onto his but he’s talking over her. “harry, i’m not leaving.”

“all i do is pull you under.” he whispers and he sounds angry— angry at himself and this fucking situation and his grip loosens on her hands. “you...” he hiccups and her hand lifts to his cheek and he whimpers and leans into her touch. “you’re so good, and-and..” he waves his hand dismissively, saying it sourly yet sadly “some other guy—some normal guy could make you so fucking happy—”

“i love you.” she cuts him off and he sniffs and meets her eyes. “i want to be here, here with you.” she whispers, tilting his chin up, “i’d rather be with you for a million winters than none at all.”

he swallows and looks down.

“hey.” she’s whispering. “look at me.”

he obeys and lifts his eyes again.

“the winter months are awful.” she murmurs. “but you always come back to me in springtime.”

he sniffs. “but i don’t—” he shakes his head.

“h.” she sighs, and he quiets. “i am sad when you are. you’re half of me, love— i’d be worried if i wasn’t.”

look at how sad you made her— how long until she leaves? don’t you wish you were normal?

“listen, h.” she pulls him back because she can feel his mind drifting away— his eyes turned more watery and his jaw tightens. “being not okay for a season... just makes the happy moments between us even better.”

his hand moves to hold the side of her neck.

“life is hard, bub.”

“i-i know.” he swallows. “i know but ‘s not much easier with me.”

“but...” she lifts his chin up and his eyes meet hers. “but you make it a journey.”

“it just takes a bit of time to find our destination.”

—

there’s a thrum of guitar strings.

she prays it’s better than those nights ago.

she can’t stop replaying it in her mind, the way he’s been crying and speaking and begging her to leave for herself but also beg her to just stay— with his tears in his palms and his face in her neck and she’s overwhelmed because for him to break down like this is unlikely.

but there’s a silent, indirect agreement between them two as she’s swearing she won’t leave while her own tears coat her eyes— that they’d live day by day, and do their best to talk and feel and cry and express, just as he has been. she had lulled his teary and achy body back to sleep with her every time she awoke to his sobbing, humming and her hands rubbing at his shoulder blades, and he had gently kissed at her collarbones before resting his forehead against them before he’d slip back away to momentary piece.

the wind hasn’t hit their window panes since.

it would all be okay— at least when spring came.

but now?— she has extreme déjà-vu as she pads up the stairs with her socked feet.

the air seems thinner today, like she can breathe easier, but now her throat feels tight again because she doesn’t want to see him in a ball in the same spot again like when she sees him through the dark.

day by day.

“haz?”

except this time the music halts.

she frowns because typically he’d be so zoned out that he wouldn’t acknowledge her entrance, her voice, but she reaches the top of the staircase and walks towards their room.

what if he’s sad and he’s been waiting for her to come home—

what if he just threw his guitar on the ground because he tried to write lyrics but he can’t—

what if—

“h? are you okay, love—”

she pushes the door open to their bedroom and she stops.

harry moves away from the mirror quickly, shifting so he’s standing in front of her with his hands behind his back. he’s blushing, and he’s looking at her and scanning her body with a shy smile on his face, a curl falling in his eyes.

“hi.” he murmurs.

“... you okay?” she questions him, drinking in his shirt covered torso and baggy sweats.

“i’m okay.”

her eyebrows are pinched in the center. his skin seems more glowy today, radiance oozing from his pores and irises and— the bags under his eyes are more purple but his little smile is a sight she can get definitely used to. she hesitates, frowning at his expression.

“you are?”

“yeah. i uh—” he sways gently, in a way that settles his nerves as his cheeks blush. “i’m... i’m okay..”

“you seem hesitant, bub.”

“no, no. i—... i’m alright i’m just...” he trails off.

“is there a number you—”

“six.”

she falters, a shocked look falling onto her face as she stares at him. she falters again, though— he looks so unbelievably proud of himself, of his own mind, but weary simultaneously and her face smiles brightly, slowly moving to bounce on her toes as to not outwardly explode in excitement.

“that’s — that’s fantastic... just—... great.”

he nods. then a soft look of revelation falls between his eyes.

“oh, and... uh—”

his hands behind him move to his front and he’s holding a small bouquet of yellow tulips between his twitching fingers and he doesn’t know what to say so he pauses before parting his lips.

“‘m sorry if they’re a bit wilted... i uh.. got them this morning.”

she’s shocked.

she’s gobsmacked and her lips are guppying as she’s trying to discover any phrase or word that she can respond to him with.

“you... what—...”

“after you left i—... just...”

he’s looking at the floor now because it embarrasses him to look at her directly, when she’s staring at him with those beautiful eyes filled to the brim with awe. there’s a twinge of disappointment he feels for himself—that for him to go out and buy her something as simple as flowers is a godsend—because she’s looking at him the same way that she did when she saw him with wet hair—

a look of pride, happiness, and somehow that diminishes any dismay he feels for himself.

“just thought... you deserved something good.”

his foot rubs atop his other.

“so...” 

he thrusts them forward, away from his body and he finally meets her eyes.

“for m’wife.” he’s blushing and biting the inside of his cheek.

her smile melts to an endeared one at the same time her heart turns to a puddle.

“you... got me flowers?” she walks forward and takes them between her fingers, eyes peering at him with awe and astonishment. “why?

he bites his lip and shrugs softly, smile cute and little on his face and it doesn’t meet his entire face, but his dimples pop out like flowers do out of the ground.

“happy first day of spring.”

#my fave piece ((''': #lowkey cried at my own piece #fluff #harry #harry blurb #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #fluffy #fluff one shot #harry one shot #one shot #one shots #angst #harry angst #harry styles angst #angsty

[yoon-ing]

Hidden Under The Covers: Finale

Finale: Boyfriend Material

Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

College AU | When a fire alarm leads to a new friendship and a borrowed blanket is returned with much more than you bargained for.

Part One | Part Two | Part 2.5 | Part Three | Part 3.5 | Part Four | Part 4.5 | Part Five | Part 6: Finale |

Flashing red lights up ahead catch your eye and you hear Yoongi grumble a series of curses under his breath. This draws the attention of the two boys who have been cramped in the backseat for over an hour now. Looking up from the handheld games that have been keeping them quiet this entire time, they show an equal amount of displeasure as you and Yoongi, groaning and whining.

The ‘Do Not Cross’ bars come down to stop traffic as you approach a railway, the loud rumble of a train engine nearing and Yoongi puts the car in park. You recognize Jungkook’s car that pulls up directly to your right and you avoid looking out the window, knowing you’ll likely meet his eyes if you even look over.

Your hope to avoid any interaction with the car next to you is quickly going down the drain when Jimin unbuckles his seatbelt and maneuvers his way between the front seats and over your lap.

He rolls down the window and sticks his head out, motioning for Jungkook to do the same. You push yourself back against your seat, to give Jimin space but mostly to hide from the boy who is now looking directly into the car.

“Anyone got an extra Red Bull?” Jimin calls over, “Taehyung drank mine.”

“There should be one in the trunk” Hoseok declares from the backseat of Jungkook’s car, rolling down his own window, “but you’re gonna have to come get it.”

“Y/N, get out,” Jimin says, turning to you, just a few inches from your face.

“Me? Why not Yoongi, you’re sitting behind him,” you point out, not wanting to move.

Yoongi turns to raise an eyebrow at you, “because it’s my car and if anyone’s moving their seat, it’s not the person who owns this car.”

Your response is a grumble, having no valid reason to refuse when he puts it that way, and now that you think about it, it’s always been the passenger seat that is moved whenever anyone is getting in or out of the back. Stepping out of the car, you huff a quick ‘hurry up’ to Jimin who struggles to clamber over Taehyung and onto his feet.

Standing awkwardly by the door, you keep your eyes on the train that is going passed, mindlessly counting the cars and doing your best not to look at Jungkook. But that becomes impossible when you hear the car door open and you look over to see Jungkook stepping out. A surge of panic courses through your body and your fight or flight instincts opt for the latter, trying to lurch your body back into the car before Jungkook can approach you. Unfortunately, you’re too slow and he grabs a hold of your wrist to spin you around.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” he says and you hate that he’s doing this in front of an audience, all the other boys peering out their window.

You pull your hand away from him and he doesn’t fight you, easily letting it drop to your side. “No thanks,” you stubbornly retort, turning your back to him and getting back into the car before he can grab your hand again.

“Y/N,” he calls out as you shut the door, and you can hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

You fold your arms over your chest and refuse to look at him where he stands looking into the window. You’re relieved to see the caboose of the train nearing and that alone feels like a small victory. You forget to take into consideration that Jungkook is just as stubborn as you and when he notices the train coming to an end, he walks around to the other side of the car and swings Yoongi’s door open.

“Get out,” he demands, a sense of urgency in his words.

Your pride of getting out of the conversation doesn’t falter because Yoongi isn’t one to take orders from other people, and you confidently wait for his snarky remark. But to your dismay it never comes, Yoongi doesn’t even argue back as he unbuckles his seatbelt and gives you a small ‘sorry Y/N’ before getting out of the car, Taehyung just one step behind him. You gawk at the two as they make their way around the car, baffled that your friends would betray you so easily.

“Wait, where am I supposed to go?” Jimin asks after Taehyung dives for the empty seat in the back Of Jungkook’s car.

“Stop whining Jimin, just sit on someone’s lap,” Jungkook calls over, not waiting for a response as he takes the driver’s seat next to you.

“That’s illegal, Jimin,” you yell out the window, “just get back in this car!”

“I think I’ll take the risk,” he says, turning back to face Jungkook’s car, looking for a place to sit.

“I’m driving, so,” Yoongi says with his hands up.

“Not it.” “Not it!” “Not it!”  three of them yell out one after the other, leaving Seokjin cursing under his breath for acting too slow, earning Jimin’s ass on his lap for an hour long drive.

“Wait, you guys are going to leave me here? Alone!?” you exclaim in disbelief.

By this point the train has already cleared from the road and the robotic gates raise while the flashing lights come to a stop.

“You’re not alone and it was bound to happen at some point,” Yoongi shrugs, getting into the Subaru, telling Jimin to hurry up as someone honks from behind. Jimin jumps in and they’re off before you can even register his words.

The car starts moving and it’s quiet for awhile, too quiet, the music cutting off earlier when Taehyung jumped out of the car with his phone that was connected to the bluetooth. Feeling undeniably awkward, you reach over to click a button and the scratchy radio comes on.

“I guess we’re too far away from the city to get a good signal…” you say out loud, breaking the heavy silence as you fiddle with the device to find an okay-sounding station. You settle for a channel that is playing songs that were hits 50 years ago and you return your hand to your lap where you fidget with the bottom on your coat.

“Y/N,” Jungkook begins after some time, not knowing where to possibly start.   

“Look, Jungkook,” you decide to speak up, using all the courage you can muster. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” your mind flashes back to one evening when you got a call from an unknown number, answering with a normal ‘hello’ and hanging up the moment you hear Jungkook’s voice on the other end of the line.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jungkook cuts in.

“Don’t be,” you quickly say back, “I’m the one that’s sorry.”

“No,” he rebuts, “I had no business involving myself with you and your ex-”

“Really, you don’t need to be sorry about that,” you try to explain.

“But I am!” he blurts out, getting frustrated with your little game of ‘who’s more sorry’.

His distracted mind has him swerving too late to avoid a deep pothole and you exclaim out, “careful!”

“Fuck, sorry,” he breathes out when the car jolts with the hard bump. “Yoongi’s gonna kill me for that,” he mumbles to himself.

“Jungkook, I-” you try again after a moment of contemplating your thoughts.

“No, Y/N, listen to me,” he says and the car slows, coming to a stop on the side of the road so he can turn to face you.

There’s so much tension in his furrowed eyebrows that you’re scared it’s going to permanently wrinkle his forehead if you don’t let him speak.

Jungkook looks at you for a moment before releasing a sigh, sinking back into his seat and dragging his hands over his face.

“God, I’ve probably rehearsed this a million times in my head and I still don’t know where to start,” he says, sounding defeated and this is the first time you’ve really looked at him in over a month, the bags under his eyes looking darker than you remember and the fullness of his cheeks ever so slightly deflated. There’s a pang in your heart and you wonder if you’re the reason he looks so tired, how hard has it been for him since you so coldly kicked him out of your life without an explanation?

“I’ve heard that starting from the beginning is a very good place to start,” you quietly pipe up. And he looks at you almost in annoyance, before an amused smile breaks out across his face, probably because he can’t believe that you’re quoting the Sound Of Music in this situation.

“How much do you remember from the New Year’s party?” Jungkook asks after a moment of contemplation.

“Er, I remember taking a shot and waking up at Yoongi’s the next day,” you say truthfully, having no recollection of the night when you drank too much.

“So you don’t remember running into your ex?” he inquires and you go rigid for a moment, recalling that you did see him that night.

“I don’t know what we talked about, but I know I saw him,” you admit quietly. “Was it bad?”

“I mean…” he hesitates for a moment, “Y/N… you cried, like a lot.”

This revelation has your eyes widening, you don’t know the last time you cried, especially over something as silly as a boy. “I can’t say for sure, but I probably wasn’t crying over him, I was most likely just overwhelmed… and it probably didn’t help that I was drunk…”

“You really don’t remember anything from that night then,” Jungkook says quietly, mostly to himself. He figured that you wouldn’t remember, but part of him hoped you did. The time he spent with you that night was one of the most intimate moments you two shared together and it saddens him to know that it holds no place in your memory.

“Y/N, I’m gonna get straight to the point… I like you,” Jungkook admits and his confession doesn’t come as a surprise to you. You would have had to been blind to not see the way he attempted to reach out to you over the last month, getting frustrated each time you turned your back on him and looked the other way. He stood up to your ex for you and voiced his concern for you, not wanting you to get hurt. And Taehyung and Jimin might have let it slip that your hot headed “enemy” shouldn’t be as much of an enemy as you initially made him out to be. “Look, I’m really sorry I stuck my nose in your business,” Jungkook begins, and you have to cut him off before you two get stuck in another battle of ‘I’m sorry’s.

“I think I like you too,” you say before you lose the courage and there’s shock and hesitation is Jungkook’s eyes. “God, okay, this is going to sound absolutely insane or just plain stupid, but… I’ve liked you since October, I just didn’t know it was you.”

You can tell you’ve lost him, his features contorted into pure confusion.

Letting out a sigh feeling reluctant, you know you need to explain it from the beginning.

“Okay, so back in October the fire alarm went off in our building and that’s when I met Tae. I lent him a blanket that he brought to your place and when he gave it back, it smelt really good, and god, this sounds so creepy and cringy, but I got attached to that scent and just assumed it was Jimin since I saw him that night. And that’s why I dated him for half a week, but I realized he wasn’t the guy I was crushing on and I just went on blindly with a stupid crush on someone I didn’t know.

“And then after the party, I woke up in the sweater that smelt just like the blanket and I guess at some point you gave me your sweater, but i didn’t know it was yours until Jimin pointed it out after I’d been wearing it for like 3 days straight and I felt stupid and embarrassed and I didn’t know how to handle any of the emotions I was feeling, so I just didn’t and that’s why I ran away every time I saw you because I couldn’t admit to myself that I like you and I haven’t admitted it until right now.

“Jungkook, I like you. Like, like like you,” you conclude, finally taking the time to breathe once all your thoughts have tumbled out of your mouth and it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off your chest.

“Oh.” Is his response and you blink blankly back at him.

“Oh?”

“I just-” he starts, looking for words. “You- You like me,” Jungkook repeats to himself, an ear splitting smile stretching across his face, laughing in astonishment as he takes in everything you just said. He covers his face with his hands as the airy laugh leaves his lips, and he lets out a sigh of content. “I really didn’t think this conversation was going to go like this.”

“You don’t have to be a dick about it,” you shoot at him, already feeling embarrassed.

“I’m not! I just didn’t expect this!” he defends, unable to hide his smile.

“No, I take it all back,” you stubbornly say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You can’t take it back, you like me, you admitted it!”  

“Hmph,” you grunt, turning away from him.

“I guess you don’t remember kissing me,” Jungkook all of a sudden says, and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

Your face gets hot and you whip your attention back to him, staring at him in disbelief and embarrassment, “I what?!”

“It was just a peck, to ring in the New Year,” he casually explains, smug in the way he shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re lying!” you accuse, but a feeling deep down tells you he isn’t.

“Nope,” he easily responds. The smirk leaves his face and he’s much more serious when he speaks his next words. “You kissed Yoongi too, literally right after, but it was still our first kiss.”

“How can it be our first kiss if I don’t remember it?” you pout, your voice on the verge of a whine.

“Then maybe you should kiss me again,” he playfully taunts.

“Maybe I will!” you blurt out without thinking.

A fond smile appears on his face as he sees you react to your own words, timidly looking away when you register what you said. “Come ’ere” he says softly, reaching over to cup your face, bringing your gaze to his own.

As confident as Jungkook wants to seem, his nerves show when he takes a steadying breath before hesitantly leaning in, his eyes only falling shut when you reciprocate the action and move closer. It feels like an eternity until your lips finally meet and it feels strange and new, but it’s exciting and makes your heart race.

When you pull away, you feel shy, trying to hide the smile that threatens to pull at your hot cheeks, biting on your lips as you look everywhere but at Jungkook.

“You're cute,” he says when he sees the way you hold back your smile.

“Stoppp,” you playfully whine, feeling like you're going to implode with the way your heart pounds within your chest.

That earns a small chuckle of affection from Jungkook and his eyes finally leave you to return to the road. “We better get going,” he says and he presses on the gas.

There's still 40 minutes to go until you arrive at the lodge and you're not sure how long you've been pulled over on the side of the road, the other boys probably almost there. The drive is quiet, but not in the way it was before. You're comfortable just sitting here next to Jungkook, humming along to the radio and peeking over at him every once in awhile to see his smile that never fades.

Trudging into the mountainside lodge with all the bags that were stuffed into Yoongi's trunk, you're greeted by the guys who are lounging around a fireplace in the lobby.

“Took you long enough,” Namjoon says, being the first to spot you two.

“Did you pull over for a quicky?” Hoseok quips but you don't have time to respond when Jungkook begins speaking.

“Well actually,” he starts, earning an elbow in the side followed by an awkward chuckle on your part.

The boys all raise an eyebrow at you, but you're quick to ignore it. “Anyways, I should get checked in.”

“Don't worry, we already did that for you,” Taehyung pipes up as Seokjin rummages through his pocket to pull out a single key card.

“Uh,” you hesitate when he comes over to hand it to you and Jungkook.

“You were originally going to share with Taehyung,” Seokjin explains, prompting you to take the key, “but we figured this would make more sense.”

“Haha,” you sheepishly laugh, “I don't mind sharing with Tae! We're best buds right?” You try to get out of it, feeling flustered by just being in Jungkook's presence, but Taehyung isn't having any of it.

“Best friend my ass,” he grumbles. “You told Jimin you were madly in love with Jungkook and didn't even tell me!” he accuses.

“I didn’t tell anyone anything!” you defend, feeling your face get hot. “Jimin just made baseless assumptions!”

Jimin cocks an eyebrow at that. “They weren't baseless.”

“Anyways!” you pipe up, feeling like you've walked directly into the sun, “I can share with Yoongi.”

“That's a no from me,” Yoongi muses and you want to curse him for not cooperating.

“Did you forget who's funding this entire trip? So be grateful and take your bags to your room so we can go skiing,” Taehyung says, his words aren't malicious or condescending, merely just matter-of-factly and teasing.

“We'll see you guys soon,” Seokjin says handing Jungkook the key card that he takes between two fingers and gives a small salute.

“Don't get distracted,” Hoseok calls when your shoulders deflate and you turn to walk away.

“Come on, roomie,” Jungkook gleefully says and slings an arm around your shoulders.

Trying to wriggle out of his hold, you hiss, “stop it, they're watching!”

Jungkook leans down close so his lips are right by your ear. “Well I guess they're gonna have to get used to it.” And he presses a quick kiss to your temple, earning hollers and hoots from the boys behind you.

-

The day is spent on the slopes, learning how to ski and falling on your ass over and over again. There’s nothing but laughter and gleeful chatter as everyone rushes back to the ski lift each time they make it to the bottom of the hill. You’re all tired out by time the sun sets and all your stomachs begin to growl with dinner time approaching. Everyone decides to head up to their own rooms, washing up before a peaceful meal that consists of room service and some much needed rest.

It feels kind of odd sharing a room with Jungkook, you're still not exactly sure how to act around him; your attitudes toward one another have taken a complete 180, the bickering put to a rest and nothing but tenderness gracing your words. With the six other boys around all day, the shift isn't as noticeable, but now that is just you and Jungkook, you feel the slightest bit self conscious, not knowing how to act while at the same time trying to act normal. You quickly realize that you're worrying for no reason, conversation flowing naturally with the teasing jokes you are so used to still bringing friendly banter between you two.

Toting your duffle bag into the bathroom, you are the first to wash up while Jungkook makes the call to room service after having decided on the dinner menu together. You unzip the bag only to feel the tiniest bit flustered when you remember that you packed your favourite pair of pajamas - the set that Jungkook gave you. It's really the only pair you've been wearing lately, feeling some sort of closeness to Jungkook when you are dressed in the gift, but you didn't want Jungkook, or anyone else for that matter, to know.

Truth is, after having realized your secret crush was on Jungkook and not some nameless person, the crush only grew stronger. You stayed away from him as some sort of attempt not to hurt your pride, too proud to admit that your baseless and unfair opinion of Jungkook was so so far from reality. You felt conflicted and confused in the month you spent away from him, not sure what to make of everything. Looking back, you can't help but feel foolish. Being apart only made you want him more and the only thing that was keeping you from him was yourself. But that's all in the past, you think to yourself, shaking away the thoughts. If you've learned anything from all of this, it is to not hide from your feelings, so you put on the pajamas with a fondness in your smile, still shy but happy nonetheless.

You don't realize how long it has taken you to shower and freshen up until Jungkook can be heard through the door, calling your name and announcing that the food has arrived. He pays you no attention as you step out of the bathroom, busying himself with setting up the meal on the other side of the room. It's not until you're a few steps away from him does he turn around towards you, his face instantly lighting up with an ear splitting grin.

“You're wearing the pajamas,” he gleams, taking a good look at you with genuine happiness in his smile.

“You have excellent taste in sleepwear,” you cheekily compliment.

“I can't take all the credit, Namjoon's sister helped me picked them out,” Jungkook admits.

“Oh, I didn't know Namjoon has a sister.”

“Yeah, she's pretty hot-” he says on instinct, catching himself too late, “I mean…”

His words earn laughter from you, finding it cute the way he tries to back track. “You can call other girls hot, I don't own you.”

“I just don't want you getting jealous,” he is quick to retort.

You raise an eyebrow at that, “if anyone's the jealous type, it's you.”

“Me?!” Jungkook says in shock, as if you've just accused him of a grave crime.

“You literally wouldn't let anyone else help me off the ski lift,” you point out and he goes quiet for a moment.

“I just wanted to hold your hand,” Jungkook shyly admits, his regular tough guy demeanor crumbling to pieces as his cheeks redden.

“Is Jeon Jungkook going soft?” you say in exaggerated surprise, mocking him much easier than letting him know how devastatingly adorable the sentiment is.

“Only for you.”

And it's your turn to turn to mush, his words instantly melting you to the core as your face gets warm and your heart goes into a frenzy. “Um, we should probably eat…” you say, changing the subject, “before the food gets cold.”

Jungkook chuckles at your reaction, but doesn't say anymore, following your lead as you sit down at the table. Dinner flies by in no time even though when you look at the clock 2 hours have already gone by. Both you and Jungkook have been so caught up in conversation that you barely notice the minutes ticking by, but you don't mind it and neither does he. The time is spent getting reacquainted with each other, talking and laughing about all sorts of things you never realized you have in common, and just like that a few more hours go by until a yawn interrupts the conversation and the two of you decide to head to bed.

-

You're glad that nothing but darkness fills the room, your smile spreading across your cheeks so wide it's almost embarrassing. You lay curled up at Jungkook's side, his arms wrapped around you and your face buried in his chest. Like this, you can breathe in the familiar scent that seems to relax your entire body and you swear you can get drunk off of his cologne alone. Taking a deep breath, you subconsciously nuzzle your face close to Jungkook and bury yourself in his warmth. None of this feels real. You're scared you're going to open your eyes and find yourself alone on your living room couch, wrapped in a blanket that you're too attached to, but Jungkook's body feels so warm against you, his arms so tightly wrapped around you and it’s almost too good to be true. Almost.

“You know you're actually kinda creepy,” his voice suddenly says, pulling you out of the thoughts that were lulling you to sleep.

“I'm what?” you ask as you pull away from him, offended and your eyes search the dark for his.

“I mean, you like what I smell like,” Jungkook responds, the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice. He shifts on the mattress so he's laying on his side facing you.

“So?” you stubbornly defend yourself.

“That's kind of weird isn't it? You kept a blanket and a sweater just because it smelled like me,” he points out and his smile is teasing and ego inflating.

“I know it's weird, okay? Can we not talk about this?” you ask, feeling your face get hot.

“Would you say I smell like boyfriend material?” and you can hear the grin in his voice, positive that it's fat and wide, plastered across his face.

“Bye Jungkook,” is your response and you immediately roll onto your other side, turning your back to him.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jungkook says as soon as you pull your body away from him.

He scoots close to you and puts an arm around your waist to scoop you into his chest, pulling your back against him so his body spoons you.

“To sleep,” you speak out, trying to use as few words as possible as your heart begins to race, getting nervous for the umpteenth time just today.

“Not until you answer my question,” Jungkook murmurs, his lips so close to your neck that his breath tickles your skin. “Do I smell like boyfriend material?”

You roll your eyes even though you know he can't see you, and you can't believe you're lying here in the middle of the night being forced to feed his ego.

“Yes, Jungkook,” you dryly retort. “You smell, look, and feel like boyfriend material, happy?”

He hums in thought for a moment, “almost.”

Before you can ask him what more he wants from you, he unmolds himself from behind you so he has enough space to roll you over onto your back. He easily flips himself over so his body is hovering on top of yours. Your breath hitches at the proximity and your chest is so close to him you're scared he can feel your heart pounding.

“If I'm boyfriend material, can I be your boyfriend?” His voice is barely a whisper and if you hadn't felt the warmth of his breath on your lips, you would think you're dreaming.

Your voice is stuck in your throat and you're unable to speak; you respond with a nod, titling your head up ever so slightly so your lips just barely brush his. There is only a moment of hesitation before you lean all the way in to kiss him and he’s kissing you back.

Before you can get lost in the softness of his lips and the gentleness of his touch, Jungkook hardly pulls away, not enough that your lips part but enough to speak. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes Jungkook, yes, yes, yes, you can be my boyfriend,” you shamelessly say, letting your excitement and eagerness seep into your words.

Jungkook quickly kisses you again, molding his lips to yours before he can't hide his smile anymore and he’s forced to stop kissing you, his wide grin making it impossible to keep your lips locked any longer.  He rolls back onto his side, taking you with him as his arms tightly squeeze you into his chest.

With your head tucked under his chin, you don’t need to look up to know he’s still smiling when he speaks his next words. “Good night girlfriend.”

“Good night boyfriend,” you shyly respond with the same giddiness making your heart thump. And you feel all warm and fuzzy inside because although you two confessed your feelings for each other earlier in the day, the formality of it being official makes your heart race and cheeks flush.

-

Morning comes with the ringing of a phone that isn't familiar. It doesn't stop and Jungkook is a heavy sleeper, so you find yourself peeling your eyes open in search for the device that’s too loud to ignore. It takes you a moment to realize that it's the hotel phone on the bedside table that has so abruptly pulled you out of sleep and you reach over to answer it with a tired ‘hello?’.

“Good morning Ms. Y/N, this is your 9:30 wake up call. The forecast calls for another sunny day on the hills, we hope you enjoy your stay,” the pleasant, but almost automatic voice states.

“Thank you?” you unsurely say before hanging up, confused about why you are receiving a hotel service that you surely did not order.

Less than a minute later, your phone buzzes from where you left it last night and you grab it to see a notification from Taehyung lighting up the screen.

Thirsty Tae (9:31am): since ur awake, we're all having breakfast in my room. get your asses here before all the food is gone

And that explains the wake up call.

You roll your eyes before telling him that you and Jungkook will be there and he sends you his room number with an excessive amount of smiley faces and hearts.

Walking into Taehyung's room, the rest of the guys are already there, lounging around with their plates already full with a variety of food from the number of carts that have been rolled in by room service. Taehyung is the first to greet the two of you, bouncing your way with open arms and a gleeful ‘good morning’ while the five others stay seated but give you their morning salutations as well.

“Did you guys consummate the relationship last night?” Hoseok teases with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Please, I’m not that easy,” you lightly respond, brushing off his words.

“Trust me, I know,” Taehyung nonchalantly adds, “I've offered more than once.”

“Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about,” Jungkook quickly says, getting defensive.

“Chill out, he's just joking,” you tell Jungkook before turning back to Taehyung. “Maybe we'll let you in on some action sometime,” you casually tease.

“No thanks,” Taehyung responds, shrugging it off as he plops onto the bed with his plate of food, “you can have Jungkook to yourself.”

“Good,” Jungkook responds instead of getting offended, “because I don't plan on sharing.”

Putting aside the teasing, you and Jungkook pile your plates with food and cross the room to squish onto the two seater couch that Jimin occupies. Jimin scooches over to allow you two squeeze in and you beam up at him feeling all kinds of grateful this morning.

“Say ‘ah’,” Jungkook softly calls over to you, pulling you out of the conversation you're trying to follow between the other six boys.

Giving him a blushing smile, you easily abide and open your mouth so he can pop in a piece of fruit. Jungkook continues feeding you off of his plate and the two of you become wrapped up in your own world, paying no attention to the other guys in the room.

When he gives you a bite of his pancake, he motions to the corner of his lip, “you have a little-” he says, letting you know that you've got a drop of syrup on your face.

Instead of wiping it away with your hand like any capable person would, you nudge your face forward and Jungkook chuckles, using his thumb to swipe it away and he licks the digit clean.

“Thank you,”  you sweetly coo.

“Anytime, cutie,” Jungkook gleefully answers.

This interaction earns fake gagging sounds from the other side of you, and you whip your head around to see Jimin getting up.

“I preferred it when they were always fighting,” Jimin grumbles in disgust at the sickeningly sweet scene he had to watch unfold in front of him.

Remembering there are other people than just you and Jungkook in the room, you look across to the other side in time to see Namjoon handing over a twenty dollar bill to Seokjin. Jungkook follows your curious gaze and instantly stands from his seat, marching over to them with accusations of some bet you don't really quite understand. Before you can figure out exactly what it is they're squabbling about, your line of sight is blocked by Yoongi who approaches you with a glass of orange juice and hands it to you.

You gratefully take it and he plops down next to you on the couch to absorb everything that's going on in the room. Jimin joins Hoseok and Taehyung on the bed where they swipe through a dating app, commenting on whether each candidate is a ‘smash or pass’ (Hoseok's words); Jungkook is animatedly arguing with Seokjin and Namjoon who pay him no attention, and it feels like you're all back at Yoongi's, hanging out and wasting time with nothing on your mind but the enjoyment of being together.

“I'm glad things are back to normal,” Yoongi tells you once his eyes have traveled across the room and back to you. “We missed having you around.”

“Things are better than normal,” you reply without looking at him. Instead, your eyes stay trained on Jungkook, staring affectionately at the big dork who has managed to steal your heart.

Yoongi wants to roll his eyes at the cheesy response, but it's endearing and it's been a long time coming, so he simply nods his head in agreement.

[A/N]: ahhhhhhhh we made it!!! thank you to everyone for reading! i love you and appreciate you all 🤧🤧

#jungkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook scenarios #jeongguk scenarios #jungkook fluff #jeongguk fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jeon jeongguk #bts scenarios #bts fluff #yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! #me: forgets im supposed to post today akhnajkfa #ive been too caught up in a drama lmfao #anyways~ #i hope you all enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing this #gotta love my boy jungkook #my big dummy who owns my heart #hutc #hutc: 6 #s: 1

[motherlifesucher-archives]

Lost Boy l Shawn Mendes Imagine

a/n: long time no see! hopefully I'll have more time now to write some stuff <3 OH, and I know Antoine is happily married but I wanted to write about him, but you can picture him as whoever you want <3.

prompt: when they ended their relationship she blamed her busy schedule. He believed her, but he doesn’t understand how is she now in a relationship with a football player. 

It was everywhere. 

He couldn't turn on his phone without one of his friends asking him if he was alright.

He didn’t understand at first. Why wouldn’t he be just fine? His album was doing great, he was traveling around the world, getting to perform on the biggest music festivals, so why wouldn’t he be just fine?

After he opened Instagram, it all made sense. 

@(y/n): saying goodbye to this one that promised to win the World Cup <3 @antogriezmann. 

Shawn couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips before he locked his phone and threw it to the sofa. 

He didn’t love her, but they were creating a relationship that could’ve become something incredible.

He was craving to be in love, and he was certain that she was the perfect girl for him. She was supposed to be the subject of his songs just as he was supposed to be the boy in hers. He was going to be in the first row of her concerts listening to the songs made about him.

But none of that happened because she broke it off before they could confirm their relationship or release a new album. The excessive paparazzi attention on them and restless nights only to talk to each other became too much. 

It was like being on a relationship with a ghost (her words, not his)

“This relationship isn’t working” she said after they got to see each other for the first time in two months.

“What do you mean it isn’t working? We’re together, that’s what matters.”

“Yes, Shawn, but I want a healthy relationship, where I can call if something’s wrong or that I can't have physical contact at least once a week. This isn’t that, it’s like being on a relationship with a ghost”

“Don’t. Just stop. You’re hurting me and that’s not fair because you knew what we were getting into. You knew we were busy, this is your life too!” Shawn made an effort to not raise his voice, but anger was dripping on every word.

“I didn’t expect my schedule to be this full. I can’t, Shawn. This isn’t doing me any good” She cried. 

“You? What about me?”

“I don’t know, Shawn. I’m sorry that I'm being so selfish but... This isn’t working for me, and I'm putting myself first”

So he moved on. or at least he tried, because even if he was convinced that he wasn’t in love with her, he was on the right way for it, and he couldn't help the thought that maybe her schedule was going to magically clear and they could try things again. 

But clearly it wasn’t going to happen judging by the way her head was resting on his shoulder and his arm was circling her waist. 

He talked to his friends that knew the situation but none of them wanted him to suffer, so they tried to make him talk to her or tried to convince him that he was just a friend but Shawn knew that wasn’t the case; he would’ve known if she was friends with a high performance player.

All he got to do was scroll down her Instagram to find pictures that only they knew where they where. He could almost hear her laughing while asking him to take a really good shot so she could post it. 

He could feel his heart beating so fast when he locked the door of his dressing room so that he could spend time with her without interruption.

He could feel the way she gently tugged his bottom lip, leaving him breathless. 

He could feel her eyes on him as she threw a water bottle to the crowd screaming her name.

He wanted her so bad it made him mad, because he knew they were meant to be more than another relationship that got caught with the wind after a few months. He didn’t want to be labeled as “just a fling” by her, he wanted to be the one that got introduced to her family and got to hang out with her little cousins trying to get her attention. 

Him, not some French guy. 

But all he got was memories and frustration of not being enough.

It took him three days to figure out he didn’t want to give up.

Well, technically he hadn’t given up, but he thought that if he was thrown away, at least he’d put up a fight.

He did it subtly. Liking her posts and seeing her stories. And there he realized something that made his blood boil.

She was in Russia.

She was cheering for him.

She was wearing his jersey.

It looked like a lost battle, until he realized that if he really wanted her, he had to do something more than a few likes.

He used his mother as an excuse, because England had made it to the semi final and he really wanted his mother to experience all that.

He flew his entire family to Russia so that they could go to the remaining games of the World Cup.

He made his sister take a picture wearing England’s jersey and, somehow, he knew she was going to see it. And she did, she even liked the post and messaged him.

So you’re a football fan now?

He thought of a million possible ways to answer that, it took him almost ten minutes to come up with the worst answer,

I thought it was soccer?

It was a stupid answer, but he knew it was going to put a smile on her face. Which was why her answer came so quickly,

It’s literally a ball kicked around with your feet, calling it soccer makes no sense.

Shawn had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling so hard,

You have a point but I'm still calling it soccer. maybe i’ll see you around?

Time froze as he waited,

Russia is a big country, what makes you think we’ll see each other?

Shawn didn’t know where he found the courage to type, 

I want to see you, that makes me think we’ll see each other.

Good luck finding me.

-

He took her words as a challenge. 

He stalked fan accounts to see where she was and the places she frequented while staying in Russia, until one night he noticed she was on the lobby of the very same hotel he was staying on.

He suddenly felt breathless, they were a few meters away. He put on a denim jacket and sprinted to the lobby, asking for her room number. Of course she didn’t say her actual name, but he knew by heart the name she used when she didn’t want to be bothered.

The elevator ride felt long, too long for his sweaty palms that couldn’t stop running through his messy hair. 

His foot was tapping against the carpeted floor until she opened the door, only wearing her pajamas. 

“You aren’t room service” she greeted him with a curious yet anxious smile.

“No, but I think I'm coming in anyways” he kept his voice from pathetically trembling.

She shrugged, “If that’s what you really want”

“When did you get here?”

“Like an hour ago. I was going to eat something and get to sleep, to be honest. I didn’t expect company,” she said as she sat on the corner of the bed.

“Not even your French companion?” Shawn couldn’t stop the bitterness coming from his lips.

“I’m sorry, is that what this is about?” she pointed at him accusingly, “I don’t have to give an explanation.”

“Yes, you do,” Shawn spat with annoyance lacing his tone, “you gave me the bullshit that you couldn’t be with anyone and it wasn’t healthy and now you tell me that you’re dating a soccer player? What the fuck, (y/n)?”

“He’s not a soccer player,”

“Then what the fuck is he?” 

“He’s a football player, “ she giggled and Shawn sighed.

“Don’t mess with me right now, I'm serious,” He said trying to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t stop the grin forming on his lips.

Silence filled the room for a few seconds. Neither of them wanted to hear what the other had to say. Shawn had found her because he wanted to hear what was going on, but inside he was terrified that she was going to tell him that she had moved on and had a new boyfriend, while she didn’t want to be in the same room as him because her feelings weren’t gone, they were screaming to be heard. 

“We’re just friends,” she broke the silence.

“Just friends?” Shawn repeated.

“Yeah, he’s a very nice guy. You’d like him,”

“I doubt that,” Shawn chuckled and shook his head, refusing to make eye contact with her.

“And why is that?” She asked with a quiet voice. Deep inside she knew the answer, but she needed to hear it from him.

“You know why,” He answered while his heart started beating faster as got up from her spot and slowly walked towards him. 

“I need to hear it...”

Shawn took a deep breath, “Because I miss you. Because I need you, and I know we are supposed to be more than a couple of strangers, I feel it here,” he placed her hand on his heart, “Can you feel that?”

Suddenly, the air on the room thickened. Their bodies were touching and pressing against each other. Their eyes were connecting and communicating in ways they couldn’t understand until their lips met; slowly at first, it felt like they were getting to know each other all over again, until her teeth gently caught his lower lip and something ignited inside of them. 

They knew what they were doing, it was too familiar. Their hands knew exactly where to touch to leave the other breathless, they knew exactly the words they were supposed to whisper to earn a reaction. 

They knew each other too well.

Clothes were scattered around the hotel room floor, the light sound of the AC was mixing with their hushed breaths and quiet whispers of how much they needed each other.

They forgot about the outside world until they were lying on each other’s arms on the messy bed.

“What does this mean?” she asked while tracing figures on his strong arms.

“It means that I'm willing to give it another shot. I’ll do whatever it takes to build a relationship with you because I know that I wanna be with you, I know that I want to love you. I’m all in if you are,”

She smiled and left a kiss on his chest, “I’m in. You can count on it.”

“Good,” Shawn said trying to hide his smile.

“Good,” she left a kiss on his lips.

“So... Are you going to introduce me to Mr. French?” Shawn asked arching an eyebrow.

“He has a name, you know?” She laughed and caressed his red cheeks.

“I know, I just didn’t bother to learn it,” He said cockily before placing her on top of him.

Her laugh filled the room as his eyes enjoyed the view of the bright future ahead of them. 

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes smut #Antoine griezmann imagine

[andistillgetbutterflies]

to grief:

I haven’t written here in a while and I think it’s because I’ve felt less sad about life in general. Yea, there are still days where I feel like I’ll never find happiness, but those days don’t out number the ones where I truly feel content. That is until this week. 

I’ve loved watching glee since the beginning. The characters are the same age as me so as I went through high school, it felt like I really knew these characters and are going through it with them. At first, I really loved glee for the songs and the humour and even the teen drama that seemed so relatable yet far fetched to me. My high school had musical theatre, which I was very much involved in, and my friends and I weren’t bullied for it. In fact, we were praised. We were the cool kids and even got away with avoiding school work because the drama teacher loved us so much and would call our other teachers for us. 

Just like the glee characters, there were a lot of “incest” hookups and drama caused by who was dating who and who liked who and who kissed who. But it was a nice way to bond with people who are seniors and get invited to cool parties. 

During the time I watched glee, I realized more and more how much I enjoyed watching Santana’s character. She was witty, sarcastic, and had a no fucks given attitude that always kept her 100% real. I pride myself in trying to be as real as possible so she was definitely a character I drew towards. Throughout the years, even during the horrible season 5 and 6, I still kept up watching the show, mostly watching for Santana. I’d like to say she carried the show, but reality is I saw a lot of myself in her. The more I watched, the more I became interested in the actors. I’ve always wanted to be famous - I mean I did audition for Disney once. So I’ve found myself drawn to the actors, especially Naya Rivera who played Santana on the show. I’ve imagined ways I’d bump into the cast and how that’ll easily transition into a friendship. So I guess my imagination really brought us closer than we were. 

During COVID-19 and quarantine, I decided to rewatch glee again. The convenience of Netflix and me being laid off gave me insomnia and glee was the perfect fix. I get to sing along and relive my high school years and remember why I loved this show so much. I once again started imagining what it would be like if I moved to LA and how I’d be able to befriend them, even after all these years. My obsession came back as if no years has passed between high school and now. So when the news of Naya Rivera’s passing broke, that hit me hard. 

I’ve never understood why people mourned celebrities they’ve never met. I know people cried when Michael Jackson died or when Whitney Houston died. But I never understood it. How can you feel for someone so deeply if you’ve never met them and you don’t even know who they really are? I guess now I know how it feels.

During the days she went missing, I constantly refreshed every social media page I had and the other cast members to see if I would receive any updated news. I constantly had the gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t shake it off no matter how hard I tried. 

When the press conference finally announced they found a body in the lake and it was her, I lost sense of reality. It was like time stopped and I didn’t want to believe this was real. I constantly felt sad, and every time I refreshed my social media, someone was mourning her which made me more sad. I couldn’t control the tears that were falling down my face and I couldn't, still can’t, grasp exactly why it hit me so hard. She will always be a part of my growing up and I will forever thank her for the excitement she brought me through her character. But that’s not the only reason why I’m sad. 

I’ve always been terrified of death. When I went to church as a kid, a youth pastor pulled each of us aside and explained the concept of heaven. I broke down crying and couldn’t understand what that meant and how that was guaranteed. “Will I see my mom and dad again?”, I asked. I couldn’t fathom that this life ends and that everything I know or have will disappear and I won’t even know or feel it. So to me, everything that means ANYTHING to me at all, I try not to think about it ending. Almost like everything related to me can escape death. So when I found out about Naya, my reaction was, what do you mean she’s gone? How can she be alive yesterday and gone today? I literally just saw her Instagram story and her tweeting. I didn’t, and still don’t, quite understand it. 

As you can probably tell, I haven’t lost a lot of people in my life, or at least people I remember losing. The closest to my memory would be my aunt who was battling cancer, but I was very young and the only grief I remember having is seeing my mother in the back seat of the car bawling her eyes out after hearing a certain song on our way to go fishing. I’d never forget that look. 

And as I continued my grief, silently of course, because my Asian parents would never understand, I thought I’d reach out to my best friend. He’s very special to me and someone that I really fell in love with. The last person I ever loved til this day. We always played phone tag and would check in on each other every now and then. We would always try to be happy for each other on whatever we’re up to and try to encourage each other to chase our dreams. We’re both Gemini’s so we’re ambitious like that. To my surprise, he responded “who is this”. This never happens, because he usually says its him and he knows my number since I haven’t changed it since 2012. That’s when I get a call from him. 

I was hesitant to answer at first because I was nervous. I always got nervous around him, even after all these years. But when I picked up, a woman answered. To be honest, I thought it was his girlfriend and she didn't want me messaging him. He always had a lot of girlfriends, some were crazier than others so I wasn’t too surprised. But, it wasn’t. I wish it was a crazy girlfriend. Instead, it was his mom. 

His mom remembered my name, I even met her once. I was happy to hear that he talked about me to her because it shows that I meant something to him. But I cannot believe what she said next.

“Carter passed away on July 3, we actually had a funeral last Thursday.”

What. The. Fuck. 

As I continue to stutter and apologize for having to put his mom in this situation, I can’t help but wonder what happened. So as I tiptoed around the subject I finally asked, “was it sudden?”

“He killed himself. I try to be honest about it. I don’t know if he told you about his mental health problems, but he’s been sad for a long time.”

I knew about his depression and mental health struggles. I knew that he had a rough childhood and he resented his dad for leaving him. He fought with his mom all the time, and she kicked him out on multiple occasions. But he found love from his grandparents, which are who he stayed with most of the time. I knew all this, but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I wish I had. 

Ever since we were kids, I’ve always tried to be a good influence to him. I even tried to convince him to come to summer school with me, which let’s be honest, he barely showed up for school during the year and that was mandatory so why would he ever go to summer school. But he entertained the idea for me, like he always did with everything I suggested. I guess he didn’t want to disappoint me. And as we grew up and grew apart, mostly because he moved and changed schools a million times and I went off to University in a different province, we still kept in touch. He has always struggled with finding a passion and what he wanted to do with his life. First he wanted to make music, which he did for a while, then he turned to art. I thought this would be his biggest break through, his art was amazing. I suggested he should be a tattoo artist since he loved tattoos and is clearly good at drawing. So when we chatted back in March of 2019, he had let me know he is restructuring himself and even went to an open house at OCAD and centennial to enrol if he doesn’t hear back from a tattoo apprenticeship. Then December 2019 came around and he let me know he was in a transitional phase with his art and might want to go into animation so he could work from home. He even suggested he’d come visit me in Montreal. I know he never would, but just the fact that he suggested made me so happy. We even tried to make plans to meet up, I really wish I had pressed him for these plans because maybe he needed to see me for a reason. 

Nothing until now had been a red flag for me. I tried to always be positive and whatever dream he was chasing after next, I tried to be supportive and reaffirm that he did have talent and he will figure it out. But in February, his art on Instagram had taken a darker turn. I didn’t notice at first because he posted sporadically and also the Instagram algorithm only gives you a piece a time so if you didn’t go on his profile you wouldn't see the full picture. But his Instagram story caught my eye. It was a post along the lines of if he died, no one would even care. I immediately messaged him letting him know I would. He said thank you and quickly changed the topic to visiting me again in Montreal. I should’ve said something more. I should've called him because he clearly wasn’t being honest. 

When I moved back home this summer thanks to COVID, something inside of me kept telling me to text him. If only I had texted him a couple of weeks earlier. If only I had reached out to him then. Maybe, this would’ve changed everything.

I always thought we would’ve found our way back into each others lives. I’ve played over a million scenarios in my head of how we’d be as close as we were back in high school. I even imagined the day I had the guts to tell him how much I’ve loved him and how long I loved him for. But now I’ll never get the chance. 

I wish he saw how much he meant to me. How I’d smile when I see his name come up on my blackberry messenger with an incoming text. Or when he’d call me babe even though we weren’t dating. A friend who read over my shoulder used to laugh at me because the way we texted sounded cheesier and more in a relationship than my friend and her actual boyfriend. He always thought he was a ball of darkness, but he never knew how much light he brought into my life. To me, he’ll always be that kid we spent hours in Toys R Us sitting in children couches, hiding from the staff and talking about life. The goofy guy who photobombed a family at the CNE, and when the family saw, they just laughed because that’s just how charming he was. The guy who my parents picked up from his house to drive us to the movies and they even caught us, you behind me with your arms around me while we waited to be picked up (my mother immediately decided to have the birds and the bees talk with me the next day at a Swiss Chalet, thanks for that). And as we got older, we promised to marry each other if we were still single by 30, it was one of those promises we made to each other prompted by a silly rom com. But he didn’t even hesitate. He even agreed to have a skydiving wedding with me and say “I Do” in the air. He was the first person I told about this crazy sky diving onto an island wedding idea and like always, supported me even when I’m out of my mind. To me, he was perfect. 

Right from the beginning he said to me “don’t fall in love with me”, at the time he had a few unfaithful relationships and a few toxic ones. He thought he wasn’t worth me loving him because he would ruin everything. 

Well Carter Avery Benitez, from the day I stalked your Facebook after only meeting you for an evening at your ex girlfriends house and messaged you, desperately wanting to get to know you, there was no way I wouldn’t fall in love with you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart. June 13, 1994 - July 3, 2020, rest in paradise my love. 

#rant #trigger: death #trigger: suicide

[lady-poppy-verona-blog]

million dollar houses (the painter)

“i’ve broken bones for you, and for you only”

((aka: practice challenge one. title and quote creds to pierce the veil)) ((unedited))

🌸

justin, who she would never have called for something like this, is more than willing to help her fill out this shitty paperwork.

well, maybe not shitty. but it’s not something she enjoys.

her parents are half forcing her to join the selection. the other half is god damn, she really needs to get over andrew. she’s always viewed the selection the same way her older sister, daisy, does- stupid, pointless, misogynistic, unlikely to work. but she’ll do it anyways, because, yeah, she’s kind of lonely without someone to cuddle with, and yeah, her family, while they are pretty well off for both their area (a rather expensive, two filled portion of honduragua, right on the beach) and their caste (fives, but by now her father has probably sold enough artwork to buy their way up a caste), still need money to keep themselves going.

who knows, maybe it will work out. she snickers out loud at that thought. justin looks at her, eyebrow raised. “you good there, pal?”

“the answer is a very big ‘no, not really, but thanks for asking’,” poppy answers with a shrug. “okay, you’re the one always telling me how great i am, so tell me what’s great about me specifically, because you know that i hate myself.”

as they filled out the form, poppy thinks back to just what got her to agree to this ridiculous display, something she wouldn’t of done otherwise.

🌸

just a few months before poppy’s 19th birthday, she was dumped. andrew, that absolute dickhead, decided that instead of actually trying to make things work during the draft, he’d breakup with his girlfriend of almost four years at the very coffee shop they’d met each other. she never got anything to let her know he was safe- no letter, no text, no phone call, nothing.

at least she had her friends, though- justin, keri and aisling were always there for her, even when they had better things to do than hold her while she cried and ate ice cream (keri) or tell her that he was a dick who didn’t deserve her (ais) or put up with watching stupid rom coms over and over again (justin). she had made a deal with herself that she was done wasting tears over him three weeks after he had left and returned to dedicating her time to what she really cared about: painting, teasing her younger sister, learning welsh because she had no life, longboarding to the beach with keri.

she hears a knock on her door, the one they’d come up with as children so they'd know it was who it was when they’d visit each other. keri pokes her head in as poppy drops a paint brush back into the already clouded mug of water. keri hugs her from behind, looking at her work. “did you mean to paint in… what is this, gaelic?”

“welsh, actually. daisy’s husband-you know, the teacher?- has a textbook about old welsh kings and the language and such she thought i’d be interested, so she sent it to me,” she says with a grin. lines and lines of dark green writing curl over a sky blue background saying one thing over and over: rwy'n colli chi-i miss you. there’s little spatters of pinks and purples and oranges, looking like flowers falling from the sky.

“it’s pretty. i don’t know who this would sell to, though.” she looks at it appraisingly, probably already trying to figure out mat and frame measurements. she worked at her family’s craft store, framing photos and cleaning up after hours.

poppy shrugs. “i was actually thinking of keeping this one. it’s kind of personal.” it’s about andrew, and keri probably knows it by now. she does miss him, and it almost hurts to go through her pictures on her old, broken-ish phone and have to scroll past pictures of them- cuddling, laughing, kissing- that she can’t bear to delete.

“why are you still hung up on him, p? he’s an idiot who didn’t deserve you and probably has a tiny penis.” she sighs and sits down on poppy’s bed, picking up her book (a history of wales) and attempts to read it without disturbing the leaf poppy has been using as a bookmark.

poppy snatches the book from her, closes it back up, and tucks it in her book drawer, which is full of books she’s reading for the first time and hasn’t finished yet. “he doesn’t. i’ve seen it.” she releases her hair from the ponytail it’s been trapped in and runs her hands through it as she blushes slightly. she hadn’t told anyone about that except for daisy, her older sister, who hadn’t taken it too well. there was a lot of whisper yelling on that phone call.

keri’s jaw drops. “you what?” she leans towards poppy, her voice dropping to a whisper. “did you guys… you know…”

poppy stifles a laugh. “god no. we knew better.” they did, but it was difficult. it’s hard to keep it in your pants when you’re two teenagers in love, but they managed to never go all the way, but still pretty far.

keri shuddered. “let's change the subject please, i don’t want to hear about your nasty secret life. you wanna hear about my and madi’s gig last night? it was a shit show.” madi, one of keri’s friends, often accompanied her on piano while keri sang at parties. “so it’s at some asshole Two’s house for their six year old daughter, right? so we prepare some disney music and some fun little instrumental things and the parents walk up to us about five songs in and tell us, and i quote, that “our daughter has slightly more refined taste.” can you fucking believe it? so they make us play like jazz music so i sang approximately 18 different etta james songs and i did bing crosby. i’m so pissed.” she shakes her head and laughs. “i like jazz, but that’s not what we prepared. what entitled asshats.”

poppy smirks, glad she doesn’t have to deal with that. her family, all painters, had always made clear that if they were commissioned and the person didn’t like the piece, they would pay for the supplies wasted on the unwanted item as well as a new painting. “that’s rough.” she grabs her mug of tea (labeled in sharpie with “not paint water”) and stands up. “let’s go do something. i’m sick of  working.”

as they leave the house, poppy ducks her head into her mom’s study to let her know where she’s going, a holdover from the neighborhood they used to live in- a dirty, dangerous area, where anything could, and probably would, happen, even in broad daylight. “me and keri are going out, probably the fairgrounds and the skatepark. i’ll see you later.”

“okay mari, be safe. i love you,” her mom says as she stands up to give her a hug.

“love you too, momma.”

an abandoned fairground is fun during the day, but even more fun (and creepy) at night. the amount of times she and justin have snuck out here at 2 am is shocking, and the amount of times she and keri have snuck out here at 2 pm is even more. looking out at the little dents and trash where the rides used to be reminds her of times, recently or years ago, she’s gone under the framework of a roller coaster or the back of a mirror maze to fool around with someone- get a little action with a fling, get a little nasty with her boyfriend, or wallow in self pity and make out with keri where no one could judge them for taking out all their sexual frustration as of late on each other. they find the one staple of the fairgrounds, a large, rocky outcrop that’s fun to climb and even more fun to sit on top of and just bitch about anything and everything.

keri grabs her hand, pulling her up and onto the top of the outcropping. “has your family gotten the letter yet?”

poppy raises an eyebrow curiously. “what letter?” she manages to get her legs comfortably swung over the edge. keri gives her a rather pointed glance, waiting for her to get what she’s referencing. poppy still doesn’t get it, and tells keri as much.

keri snickers. “from the palace? about the selection?” poppy shakes her head. “you seriously don’t know what i’m talking about? well, our future esteemed leader”-eyeroll- “is a grown ass man now apparently, and therefore needs a pretty woman to stand next to him and look pretty while he cheats on her the entire time. so, we have a selection to find said pretty woman and possibly the woman to cheat on her with. true love.”

poppy laughs. “you poor gay soul. how will you ever find love now?”

“fuck you, pick a side.” keri says with a smile. “no, but i was going to ask whether you were going to apply or not, especially since you’re single and lonely now.”

“i mean, i could, but the likelyhood of me finding love there is a zillion to one. besides, i dunno if i’m over andrew yet and i don’t want to subject people to that kind of emotional pain.” poppy shakes her head. “so no, i don’t think i will.”

keri ponders this for a moment. “if you do get selected, it might help you get over him. you might find love or something gross like that.”

“i don’t want to. i want to stay here and wallow in self pity.”

“if you don’t apply, i’m won’t make out with you ever again.”

poppy looks over at her. “you wouldn’t.”

“i would. you can’t just use being physical with someone to distract you from your nasty heterosexual feelings. and i don’t care that i’m lonely too, so don’t try to play that card with me.” keri says. she begins to climb down. “let’s go to the skatepark. this is boring.”

when she got home later, her mom and younger sister, lily, ushered her into her mother’s study. “mariana, look what i have for you!” estefani said in a whisper yell.

“pop pop, you have a letter from the palace!” lily said in a yell yell.

estefani mendoza-verona was the strongest woman poppy knew. she had emigrated with her family from brazil when she was 13, five years before she had married poppy’s father, martin, and knew almost no english. they had come from an artistic background in brazil, so the illéan immigration system had placed them as fives. her family had to battle people for every job they got, and estefani had to learn english for all of them, as her parents were older and her siblings were young. when she met martin, who came from a far richer family than hers, she was able to finally support herself and start to help her parents.

all this, and she was still supermodel gorgeous and now fluent in four languages. she tends to switch languages halfway through a sentence, which is what she’s doing now, overly excited about her daughter’s opportunity. “é para a seleção, and i know you’re still getting over sabes quién, but me and lily thought you’d be interested. besides, there’s some good money, et dieu sait que nous pourrions utiliser cela.”

poppy, who gets her love of languages from her mother, understands every word, even the french at the end, which is a little surprising. “eu sei, mãe, mas eu não sei se vale a pena para mim. eu não terminei andrew e não sei se estou pronto para encontrar alguém.”

lily looks at them, annoyed. she barely understands portuguese, and hates being unable to follow a conversation. “what are you saying? is it about the selection?”

poppy laughs. “yes lils, it’s about the selection. mamãe wants me to enter, but i don’t know. there’s good money, but what about andrew?”

lily screws her face up in disgust. “i hate him. he’s mean. you should join just to spite him.”

“i like the way you think, sister sister. who knew you could be so evil?” poppy says, giving her a high five and giggling.

“so you’ll do it?” estefani asks. “you’ll enter?”

poppy thinks for a minute. “what’s the worst that could happen?”

🌸

((here’s the translations lol:

“é para a seleção”- it’s for the selection (portuguese)

“sabes quién”- you know who (spanish)

“et dieu sait que nous pourrions utiliser cela” - and god knows we could use that (french)

“eu sei, mãe, mas eu não sei se vale a pena para mim. eu não terminei andrew e não sei se estou pronto para encontrar alguém”- i know, mom, but i don’t know if it's worth it to me. I’m not over andrew and i do not know if I'm ready to meet anyone (portuguese)

“mamãe”- mommy (portuguese)

and yeah that’s poppy :) i got all the translations from google, so they’re probably wrong lol))

#x. fics #selectionoc #x. challenges

[topfics]

Truce

Tyler Joseph X Reader (AU)

A/N: alright so this is going to be a triggering fic, it has a lot to do with suicide attempts, severe depression, etc. this came to my mind this week, after hearing Logic’s song about suicide. I thought it was incredibly powerful, as someone who wanted to commit suicide for a long time. I really, truly believe that life is worth living. And I know many of you are struggling. Maybe some of you aren’t quite sure what to do. And the simple answer to that is to get help. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t let those thoughts define who you are. And if you ever need someone to talk to, please know that I am ALWAYS here. I’ll leave hotlines down below. Stay strong. Stay alive.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempts, severe depression, language 

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!

“I never thought that we would be in the same position as we were four years ago, Tyler. Funny how things change, huh? I remember standing here too, wanting to end my life. And I remember you coming over to me… pushing through the crowds of people, the barricades… and you slowly walked towards me. We didn’t know each other at all… you just strongly felt like you needed to save my life. I remember everything you said to me. But now it looks like it’s my turn to save you.”

—————————————–

The sun was rising, and you soaked it all in. Beautiful shades of pink, red, and orange filled the morning sky, making the city look even more breathtaking. Smiling slightly to yourself, you could feel the tears beginning to well in your eyes. You were going to miss these kinds of sunrises. You stood on a bridge, overlooking the skyline. You had finally made up your mind. It was the day. Struggling for far too long, you made the decision that you didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Your expression going blank, you stood on that bridge for hours, waiting for the right moment to go over and jump. Eventually, you climbed over without really realizing it. What were you waiting for? Maybe there was a part of you that didn’t want to do this. Perhaps there was a reason why you waited so long to do this.

People began to notice immediately, and sirens were blaring in the distance. Your eyes began to look down at the rushing body of water that was about to take your life. You shut your eyes and took in a deep breath. You could hear workers calling for you not to jump. Through your vision you could see them setting up barricades to not allow anyone near who could risk you jumping even sooner.

You often wondered why you didn’t stay in the comfort of your own home… could it be that were too many awful memories? Or was it a way of telling you that you shouldn’t be even thinking that this was a possibility for you?

Shaking your head, you started to block off the words coming from the police officer’s mouth. You didn’t want anyone to stop you. No one cared for you until now, right? Life began to lose its level of worthiness when you were young. No one could ever explain what was going on. Hardly anyone ever listened. Alone and abandoned, you felt like there was no other choice.

Through your own thoughts you could hear the officers trying to push someone away. Nothing seemed to be working. The guy was determined to come talk to you. You opened your eyes once more and looked down at the body of water, wondering if it was even going to work. What would you do if it didn’t? Your mind was racing a million miles an hour. It was dizzying, exhausting to even be standing there.

Suddenly, you could hear the man’s voice, trying to get you off the ledge.

“Hey there…” he began, his voice a little shaky. The whole entire street was watching him, counting on him to save someone’s life today. The man clears his throat. “My name is Tyler… what’s yours?” he coos.

You slowly turn your head towards him, tears streaming down your face. His warm brown eyes greeted you with love. He gives you a soft smile and slowly inches his way over to you.

“I’m… I’m Y/N…” you reply quietly.

“I think that’s a beautiful name. Why don’t you come over the bridge and let’s talk.”

You shake your head rapidly and start to cry harder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes. “I’m right here. I’m gonna be here for you. I know we don’t know each other but… to me it’s worth getting out of my comfort zone if that means I’m going to save someone today.”

“No… no one cares for me… and if they do they all leave and I’m left all alone again and I don’t want to deal with that anymore.” you cry out.

“I know it’s hard. I’ve dealt with the same things. People suck. I just think that you haven’t found the right people yet. It takes time. And it may seem like it’s been forever, but I can honestly say that I don’t even think I’ve met the right people yet. And maybe you can change that for me. And hopefully I can change that for you.”

“I don’t have anyone! Everyone left me! I’m all by myself! There’s nothing for me here! No one would care if I was gone! The world would keep spinning.”

“Don’t think like that. I know it’s just the voices in your head. Trust me, I know. And it’s taken me a long time to convince myself otherwise. And sometimes, it’s still a battle even today. But I promise you. People care. They’d be devastated if you jumped.”

“You don’t even know me. You don’t know shit about me or what I’ve been through.”

“That might be true. But I know that we’re both mentally ill. That we deserve better than what our brain is telling us. That those thoughts that’s constantly telling us no one cares, or that the world would be better off without us… that we’re alone… they’re the enemy. Those ideas this seed of depression is planting… it’s all a lie. I know it’s hard to believe. But you need to start telling that voice to fuck off. It doesn’t get to define who you are.”

“It’s so damn hard… I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. No more sleepless nights, no more nights where I cry until morning… no more being useless.”

“You aren’t useless. Everyone has a part on this planet. Some might be more obvious than others, but you have one. I do. I might not know it yet. But who knows? It could be this moment, right here, right now.”

“I can’t do it anymore… I just can’t.” you whisper. So many thoughts were running through your mind. A part of you wanted to believe him and come back over the edge to safety, yet another part wanted to take that jump. You were conflicted, unknowing of what to do. Why does he even care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. Why was he insisting? Sure, he was genuine in what he was saying, but how could you be sure that he was going to stick around if you did decide to step back over?

“Why the hell do you even care…?” anger began filling your voice, and you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was because he was interfering with your plans?

Tyler paused for a few moments before answering.

“If I’m being honest, it’s because I’m sick of losing people to suicide. Even if I don’t know them. I’ve had close friends who caved in and took their lives. I don’t want to ever go through that again… I don’t want their loved ones to go through that pain. No one should have to grieve over a death that was made by choice. It sucks. That pit in your stomach, wondering if there was something you did to help them push themselves to that decision. Wondering if there was something you could’ve done differently to prevent it. Only having those memories way back when. Knowing that their parents or younger siblings outlived them.” he breaks eye contact with you before continuing. Tyler takes in a deep breath and begins once again.

“Suicide… it’s like being a suicide bomber. You take it in and the people closest to you are the ones who experience the most pain. You leave a mark… a scar on them forever. They will have to live with the trauma that you inflicted on them. You know… to help me get through tough times like this… I would tell myself over and over again that nights will come to an end, but the sun will rise and I need to try again. That I needed to stay alive. We’re all going to die. But our lives are free now. We need to take pride in that.”

You looked down at your feet, wondering what battles he was facing himself. Did he really know what you were going through? Was it possible that you weren’t alone? That other people had similar mindsets?

“Please, Y/N, stay alive. Stay alive for me.”

You turn to face him, your eyes bloodshot from the countless nights being awake and from crying so much. Shaking began to take over your body, and you couldn’t stop. Your mind was a menace, continuing to tell you to jump, and your heart was battling, telling you to listen to Tyler. To finally open up and trust in someone. You gripped the rails with all your might, causing your knuckles to turn white.

Your body slowly began to move, eventually climbing back over to safety. Tyler strides over to you, embracing you in his strong arms. Comfort overwhelmed you and you sobbed into his shirt.

“I’m so scared, Tyler.” you confessed.

“I know… I know… but you don’t need to be.” he offered. He stroked your hair and continued to hold you until you were calm.

All around you, cries of happiness filled your ears. You looked around slightly to see that people were actually relieved that you chose to live. It was comforting… to know that strangers valued your life.

“Hey…” Tyler tilted your chin up. “Here’s a little tip for surviving the nights… sometimes to stay alive you have to kill your mind. Whether that be with going to bed with music, exercising until you’re tired enough, drinking some warm milk or hot cocoa to calm you down… it helps. I promise. Getting your brain to shut down is key. Close your eyes. Take deep breaths. I promise you’ll be okay.”

You nodded slightly, allowing him to carry you to the ambulance. He sets you down and they begin to take vitals, making sure that you were in a good state physically.

“I need help… don’t I…?” you inquired.

Tyler gives you a reassuring smile.

“We all need a little help sometimes. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll be sure to visit you and write you, Y/N. I promise. I’m not leaving. I told you. I’m not a person who breaks promises.”

You smile and him and nod. That was the first real smile you’ve had in awhile. It felt good. You got up from the car and walked over to him once more, giving him a tight hug.

“Thank you, Tyler.”

—————————————–

SUICIDE HOTLINES AROUND THE WORLD

USA: 1-800-273-8255

Argentina: [phone]

Australia: 131114

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

China: 85223820000

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: [phone]

Egypt: 7621602

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

India: 8888817666

Ireland: [phone]

Italy: 800860022

Japan: [phone]

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 045861048

Norway: [phone]

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

United Kingdom: 08457909090

#tw: depression #tw: suicide #tyler joseph fanfic #tyler joseph fic #tyler joseph imagines #tyler joseph blurb #tyler joseph au #tyler joseph preference #tyler joseph one shot #tyler joseph oneshot #tyler joseph imagine #twenty one pilots au #twenty one pilots fanfics #twenty one pilots fanfic #twenty one pilots fic #twenty one pilots blurb #twenty one pilots oneshot #skeleton clique

[heathneycanon]

i wrote total drama dundie for you all

“Hey guys, it’s me again, Chris McLean, dropping the new season of everyone’s favorite reality show, Total Drama! This one’s a really special one, so stay tuned for Total… Drama… Dundie!” Chris raised his arms in joy on Dundie Island.

Okay so we all know the theme song here’s the description of the video it is Duncan and Sadie kissing.

“Welcome back. Now, we’re going to be welcoming back some fan favorite contestants, along with a few new ones this time around. Let’s see who’s coming back!” Chris smiled. A boat pulled up.

“Duncan! What a surprise to see you here at Total Drama Dundie!” Chris exclamationed. Duncan growled.

“I’m a tough bad boy I didn’t save bunny,” Duncan said. Chris rolled his eyes.

“Sure we all believe you,” Chris said. Then another boat came and out of it came Sadie.

“Sadie wow, it’s been so long!” Chris said. Sadie nodded.

“Yes. Also Katie died but I have forgotten her, I am looking for love,” Sadie said. Duncan smirked at her.

“Hey Sadie,” He said. Sadie blushed and giggled.

“Duncan…” She said. Chris coughed and fell into the lake. It’s okay though, he got out. Another boat came.

“Gwen, hi!” Chris said. Gwen came out of the boat.

“Duncan just so you know I don’t love you anymore I am lesbian,” She said. Duncan smiled.

“Congratulations on coming out Gwen, and it is okay, I love another,” He said. Gwen gothed to the other side of the dock and another boat came to the island.

“Noah! Welcome back,” Chris smiled.

“Okay, me and Emma broke up she is a lesbian and I am a gay man,” Noah said. He left the boat.

“Is everyone gay.” Chris stated. Most people are here in this universe.

“I am here too!” Said Courtney.

“Fuck off Courtney!” Said Ryan, oops, wrong Courtney, who is Ryan, why is he here?

“Yay Courtney!” Said Gwen and also they kissed.

“I ship it,” Said Sadie. Duncan and Chris nodded. Noah rolled his eyes because his leading characteristic is his sarcasm.

“Grrowl!” Ezekiel was in a cage that went onto the island. Everyone screamed.

Anne Maria walked off of the boat but Noah accidentally pushed her into the water and she died of drowning. Chris shrugged.

“She didn’t get voted off because she hasn’t been on a challenge yet so she is still in,” Chris said.

“I am Mike and I am back even though I am kind of bland and no longer serve a purpose also mental health is a serious issue,” Mike miked of the mike. Zoey fell out of the sky and onto him.

“That injured me,” Zoey said, injured. Chris frowned.

“I am sorry, but you are too injured,” He said.

“But Ezekiel is a zombie and Anne Maria is dead,” Zoey said. Chris shrugged.

“Oh okay,” He said.

“Wow these people are wacky,” Said Sadie. Duncan nodded.

“Yes,” He commented.

“Wait how did Soey know that Anne Maria died?” Courtney asked the serious questin. Everyone looked at Zoey.

“Okay I did it I killed her but she was going to kiss Mike I had to,” Zowy defended. Mike shook his head.

“Zoey you killedd someone I can’t date you,” He said.

“Harsh,” said Gwen. Zoey cried.

“YOO I’M GEOFF I’M HERE TO PARTAYYY” Geoff said. He kissed Bridgette who was also there.

“Geoff bad timing there was a break up and someon died,” Gwen said. Geoff kissed Bridgette to get an idea.

“We could have a death party,” Geoff suggested.

“Geoff it is Total Drama there will be a challenge,” Bridgette said.

“Oh,” Geoff said. A new boat came.

“Hi I am Heather I am the evil one but you all know me,” Heather screamed.

“Heather why are you screaming,” Chris asked. Heather screamed a reply but nobody heard it over the coolness of the new contestant.

“Hi I’m Dave and I am gay,” Dave said, he left the boat.

“Hi Dave.” Said Chris.

“Hi, where is Sky I want to kill her,” Dave asked.

“Dave no there has been enough killing for today,” Said Sadie. Zoey cried more.

“Ugh, fine. Stupid heterosexuals,” said Dave.

“Hi I’m Scott and I’m back,” said Scott. He fell off the boat and onto Dave.

“Hi, you’re Dave right,” Scott commented.

“Yes,” Dave said. Scott grinned at him.

“That is a good name for a person on Total Drama Dundie,” Scott said.

“Yes,” Mike agreed.

“Shutup Mike you’re straight,” Scott said.

“Also your ex killed Anne Maria,” Courtney added.

“WhaT that was not my fault,” Mike said. Chris frowned.

“Sorry Mike I don’t make the rules,” he said.

“Our final returning contestant is coming now,” Chris said. Rodney came to the island.

“Hi I am so glad to be on Total Drama Dundie, I love girls,” Rodney said.

“Ugh he’s straight and annoying let’s vote him off first,” Noah said. Zoey cried more because she is sad.

“Okay good plan Noah,” Dave agreed. Then another boat came and a girl with long blond hair came off.

“Hi I’m Evie and I hate you all I will beat all of you and win the money,” Evie said. Heather laughed at her.

“No you won’t, you aren’t mean enough.” She said. Evie gasped in shock. Everyone gasped in shock.

“Oh no they will fight,” Said Duncan.

“Haha hi everyone I am Luke and I love total drama I watched it since I was born,” he exclamation. Dave sighed.

“Ugh a fan,” he said. Everyone gay and Mike sighed. Zoey kept crying in regret. Rodney hugged Luke.

“Hi welcome Luke,” Chris said. Luke laughed. Heather pushed Evie into the water and she died of drowning.

“Oh no another death,” said Gwen.

“We can have a double death party,” said Geoff.

“Okay well she was new here so her death didn’t count,” Chris said. Heather laughed evilly.

“Yea I got away with it!” She said.

“Not fair!” Said Zoey.

“Shut Up Soey, you’re straight,” said Noah.

“Yea,” said Duncan and Sadie and Mike and Rodney Bridgette and Geoff and Luke.

“You guys are strAight too,” said Zoey.

“I don’t care,” said Sadie. Zoey cried. Zeke growled and asked to go to the pharmacy but nobody heard him.

“Hi I’m clare and I love to dance,” said clare. She fell out and died.

Hi everyone Im the meh emoji, I’m starring in a new movie,” the new contestant said.

“Ew leave,” said everyone. The meh emoji left.

“Okay those were all the new people we invited and one of them is gone and two of them are dead so we need some replacements so we have Tyler Justin and Scarlett even though she was evil,” Chris said. They came on the boat.

“Okay campers the first challenge is build a log cabin here are the teams Duncan Sadie Anne Maria even though she��s dead Justin Noah Dave Heather Zoey Scarlett Luke, you are sad bad. Everyone else, you are hood good. Build cabins,” Chris said. They tried but Rodney was too straight so he broke it.

“OMG Rodney wtf?” Said Courtney. Rodney laughed.

“HAha I was secretly evil the whole tim!” He said.

“Wait you stole my plot,” said Scarlett in anger. She killed him.

“Oh well he was evil so it’s okay thanks Scarlett,” Courtney said. Duncan looked at Sadie in the eye.

“You are such a sweet gurl,” said Duncan. Sadie smiled.

“Thank you, you are a bad boy,” she said. Trent came to serenade them. His girlfriend Lucy kissed him. She looks like my friend Lucy for reference.

Sadie and Duncan kissed and they won the million also, but more importantly they won the others heart and no Ezekiel never got to go to the pharmacy.

Important notes: Rodney was eliminated first for being straight and dead. Luke died of drowning, and so did the meh emoji. Zoey did not stop crying so they kicked her off. Lucy and Trent lived happily ever after. The final four was Mr. Coconut, Dundie, and Anne Maria but Mr. Coconut Chef cooked so he was eliminated and tasted bad. Scott and Dave got together. Courtney was a CIT and also gay. Mike never dated again and got rich from inventing Steve Jobs who invented apple. Scarlett accidentally bought America so she’s the president now. Tyler and Justin had no lines but they were also there. Heater and Tent got in a rap battle and Noah watched. Geoff threw a lot of death parties and Bridgette kissed him. Chris smiled and was evil. The end.

#total drama #tdi #total drama dundie #fanfic #total drama fanfic

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: Time to move forward with the plot. I know it probably seemed like there was barely any plot, just fluff-fodder, but I swear I was building to this all along! Really!

"You seem a little distracted."

Looking up from my bongos, I blinked at Steph for a few seconds. "Was I not playing my part? I thought it sounded… like the song. Y'know."

"It's not that. You just aren't focused." Putting down her zither, she picked up her aloe drink and chugged it for a minute. I tried not to make a face of pure disgust. "Like, I can sense it even though you're playing fine, if that makes sense."

"What, with my chakras or some shit?" But again, she was impervious to my acidity. "Fine. But I don't wanna talk about it."

"You and Knives?"

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"How's that going?"

Sighing, I ran my hand down my face and gritted my teeth against my irritation. I knew by now that yelling at Steph to shut the fuck up and leave me alone made little difference. But to be honest, I was in a good enough place with Knives that I wasn't even that irritated.

"Nice. Now, can we get back to practice?"

"I thought you were worried about, like… the lesbian thing."

"Not really. Just…" Should I tell her about Knives? It didn't seem right, for reasons previously stated; that was Knives' information to share as she saw fit. Maybe she wouldn't care, but maybe she would. You never can tell how people will react; I couldn't even tell how I would react before I was told. I decided it was easier, safer, to maintain my vow of silence. "I dunno. It's good. She's really…" I ran out of words.

"Good? Nice?" My grumpy face turned grumpier. "It's okay, I just like seeing you doing better."

"Better than what?"

Another of her usual casual shrugs. "Before."

"Fine." Then I threw my bongos aside and stood, glaring at my current bandmate. "She's great. She's completely changing how I see life. Everything is perfect, especially her. Birds suddenly appear every time that she's near, alright? Fuck."

"Saying that in a sarcastic tone doesn't necessarily mean that it's not true." But I ignored her and went off to pee.

While I was in there, I came to a sudden realisation. Knives wasn't just a girl, wasn't just my girlfriend. Wasn't just a trans girl, either, whatever that meant; I was still kind of working my way through that along with the 'girlfriend' part. It hit me that she was just about every letter in the ever-expanding LGBTQIPA acronym, if you looked at it all in certain ways. Lesbian, for dating me. Gay, for being a person with a dick who didn't mind dating people with dicks — and I know it's not the same, but the sex would be. Bi, for dating me and Scott. The "T" is obvious. Queer because she's more than one letter, since that's kind of what that means as far as I can tell; it's the "gray area" checkbox. Maybe not the "I", since I'm fuzzy on that one, but if she was that would be cool, too. And as for the A…

Okay, so I did some reading at the library. I don't have internet at home, so I go there for email, to print resumes, boring crap like that. But I also have been doing a lot of research there lately. About Knives, about me… about all of this. Trying to wrap my head around a lot of new concepts that are still space alien type shit to me. And the "A" seems to stand for "asexual", which… I was starting to wonder if that was Knives. Or me, even, since I've gone without for a LONG fucking time and didn't really care until I connected with her. Maybe I do care more now. But she's fine if we don't bang, and thought humping my leg was good enough.

So like… I guess what I'm saying is, I'm trying to get comfortable with the idea that she might never want to have any sex. Or not a lot, or not for a while. Somewhere in there. If me literally getting naked in the kitchen — which, in Wallace's battle plans, sends the message that I'm dessert — didn't faze her, then maybe nothing would. And that's alright if it's what she wants. God will I be thirsty, but I'd rather just buy a new vibrator than ever make her uncomfortable again. It's the same shit in the end, right? If she was a normal- wait, no, wrong word. If she was a cis woman, then we'd be buying vibes, anyway. Acting all personally offended that she doesn't want to use a dick I didn't know existed a couple weeks ago to part my pussy lips doesn't seem like a wise use of my energy, does it?

Anyway, the point here is, I was realising that Knives Chau was all of those things, and she was also some kind of Chinese ninja, a college student, way too good at Mario Party, and an adorable little bean that could almost always find a way to stay positive. She was special in about a dozen ways. On top of being hot. And for whatever reason, she wanted to be with me.

Why would anyone like her settle for some failed musician, some misanthropic pessimist?

Someone who could come so close to hurting her just because of a little alcohol?

So when I came back out of the bathroom, I looked about as shaken as I did when I went in. I wasn't crying this time, thank God, but I was stumbling and distracted. Not long passed before Steph came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder to hold me still.

"Kim… what's up? Seriously, this has to be more than just worrying about being gay."

"Not gay. Bi. Probably. I don't know." Then I cleared my throat. "I want to be… fuck, nevermind."

"Come on, Pine. Out with it."

Another minute of silence passed. I expected her to roll her eyes and walk away, annoyed at me for not responding. She didn't; she just fixed me with an expectant look. Finally, I blurted, "She deserves better than me."

"What?"

"I suck. Even when I'm trying, I'm pathetic. This girl is so…" I wasn't used to praising people. At all. "Good. She's everything that's good, Steph. And I'm everything that's not."

She was quiet for a moment, thinking, before she asked, "You're worried about disappointing her, aren't you?"

"Worried? No. That would imply that I thought it might not happen. It's a matter of when."

"Kim…"

"No, Steph. I'm a frigid bitch and… she should find someone else who knows how to have 'fun' like she wants. Who can do this right instead of blundering around in the dark. But how do you tell somebody they need to go the fuck away for their own good without making them feel like it's their fault instead? Because I can't hurt her. That's not allowed."

"Hey." Her face was full of pity, and I hated it, I wanted to deck her to the floor to keep that look from existing. Wanted to deck myself, but that's pretty hard to do. "You're not a bad person."

"Yes, I am."

"You are n-"

This time, I did push her away, backing toward the front door. My heart was pounding a million times a minute, and I wanted to scream a million things, but they were mostly at myself and she didn't deserve that headache.

"I'm gonna split. See you later."

She was trying to tell me something as I left, but I blocked it out, I ran. All I could see was the pity in her eyes, the pity in my girlfriend's when she saw how guilty I felt about Julie's aunt's. I wanted to drink to forget, but I couldn't let myself get that drunk ever again. What if next time, I did something worse? I'd be no better than the guys I had dumped who got too handsy.

I'd be no better than the guys who dumped her for something she had no control over. Who didn't see just how great she was.

Halfway to the bus stop, I collapsed. Curled into a ball on the grass and cried, but it wasn't the same kind of cry. This was… something else. I don't know, but I wanted all the pain to end. Sure, I wanted to be better, but I didn't see a way to make that happen, so I just wanted it all to be over. For Knives to find someone who could treat her like a star, give her moonbeams in a jar, and to forget about that asshole she briefly thought was "cool".

Which all sounds way over the top and emo. I know. My brain couldn't quite process that I was in love with her and that was why I wanted to give her everything. Guess one of the shapes love can take is self-destruction.

                                              ~ o ~

Young Neil was the one who found me and brought me back to the Nordegraf home. He was walking home from the bus stop, so of course we would cross paths. When he first saw a statue curled up on the grass, he probably thought somebody had really fucking odd taste in lawn ornaments. But I mean, he hung around with Sex Bob-omb while we practiced for a long time; he recognised my face. Then somehow managed to drag me the couple of blocks back to her house from there.

Steph was still shocked when she saw me as a stone figure again, despite it being the second time. She called Stephen, who came over right away with one of those bottles of Soft. But this time…

"It didn't work."

That was all he could manage to say at first, eyes round and jaw agape. Steph and Neil had been pacing back and forth behind him, but once he said that she bent down and squinted at my face. "Shit."

"This… I don't know, why didn't it work? Wake up, wake up, wake UP!" He punctuated the last part by slapping my face, which I couldn't feel. "OW!"

"Don't be dumb!" Steph hissed, standing back from my perch on the couch. "What do we do?"

"No idea, but we can't leave her like this forever, right? I mean… look how upset she was, look at her eyes!"

Neil shrugged as they panicked. "Didn't you say this happened before?"

"It did, but we had Soft, and we got to her quicker," Steph told him, smoothing her hand over my hair. Just as unyielding as the rest of my body. "It was about two hours after she left here that you found her, I think…"

"Shit," Stephen breathed, hand pressed into his mouth. "This is a nightmare."

"We have to call Knives. I mean, she's really important to Kim now, we can't-"

"Knives?" Neil whispered, shocked out of his usual silence. "Oh…"

Both of them looked toward him, but it was Stephen who snapped, "What? This isn't as important as whatever your deal with her was, is that it?"

"N-nah, nevermind. Just call her." He sounded faintly embarrassed, but I couldn't see him from my vantage point so I didn't have the visuals to confirm that.

So they called Knives. Now I felt even worse than I did before. The whole reason I was a statue in the first place was because of my guilt over not being able to give Knives everything she deserved, and now here I was putting her through an even worse ordeal. Along with all of my friends. I used to really think that everyone else was the problem, that they all just sucked. But it was me. I'm the weakest link in the chain.

I heard some pleasantries exchanged at the door, quick ones due to the crisis. Once Knives got to the living room, she gasped and put a hand over her mouth.

"Yeah. We don't really have an idea of what else to do." Glancing over at Stephen, who only shook his head, Steph shrugged and went on, "You probably don't, either, but… we thought you should at least be here."

"Thanks for calling. God… my poor Kim…" She dropped to her knees next to the couch and caressed my face, and I would have given anything to actually be able to feel it. "And you said Soft didn't work? I have more…"

Stephen shook his head. "Don't know, but it really seems like it doesn't. We can try another bottle but I hate to waste it if this time we know it's not going to work…"

"Do we, though? Do we know it won't work?" Steph's hands were on her hips as she glanced between the two of them. "Seriously, I'll dump a dozen bottles on her head if it's going to do the job."

"No… I think I know what we need. Do you see that?" Her finger was pointing to my stomach, just barely revealed by my shirt riding up before it turned to stone along with the rest of me. "That's the key."

Everyone watched Knives stand up after that announcement. Including me, since I really didn't have any choice but to watch, given that my eyes were frozen open by concrete. After a few seconds, Neil hesitantly asked, "Um… what?"

"We need to go see my father."

                                              To Be Continued…

#kim pine's precious little knives #scott pilgrim vs. the world #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim fanfiction #forkanna writes #forkanna the writer