Bruce broke his foot (again) and now someone needs to fill in as Batman. Who's donning the cowl and who's making calls to get off the planet so they don't have to do it?
Bruce: Casting calls are now live.
Duke, nervously getting onstage: Hi.
*microphone squeaks*
Duke: M-my name is Duke Thomas and I'm auditioning for the role of Batman.
Bruce: Show me what you got.
Duke: *clears his throat*
Duke, reading from a script: "Stop right there, Joker! Your days of evildoing have come to a—"
Duke: Actually, I have some notes. From a writer's standpoint, this reads less like the Dark Knight and more like a 60s sitcom.
Bruce: Next!
Selina: What better person to be Batman than the woman who has him wrapped around her finger?
Bruce: You know that's not how it works.
Selina: I've been practicing my quick change so I can be both of us in one fight. Come on, Bat. Can't bend the rules for the love of your life?
Bruce: I love you, but next!
Tim: I'm auditioning for the non-dictator Batman.
Bruce: Not taking any chances. Next!
Cassandra: *flips onstage in a series of elaborate acrobatics*
Cassandra: *beats the training dummy*
Bruce: Impressive. Now, I'll give you a scenario and you act it out as if you're Batman, okay?
Cassandra: *nods*
Bruce: A lost child walks up to you. What's the first thing you say?
Cassandra: You will make an excellent Robin.
Bruce: Yes—I mean, no. No. Next person, please.
Dick: I don't get why I have to audition. I mean, I was Batman.
Bruce: Hm, you're right. Let's give someone else a turn. Next!
Jason, in an improvised costume: I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...
Jason: *whips out guns*
*BANG BANG BANG*
Bruce: Next!
Stephanie: Can I try out?
Bruce: Sure, why not. Let's say you're negotiating a hostage situation. What do you say?
Stephanie: I'll give you Bruce Wayne's credit card if you let these people go.
Bruce: Next!
Barbara: I have programmed an advanced speaker system that will project your grunt from every gargoyle in the city.
Bruce: Grunting doesn't send people to Arkham. Next!
Damian: *walks in*
Bruce: No.
Bruce: Last one left is Kate.
Kate: Don't look at me, I'm just trying to find my keys.
Bruce, groaning: Patrol's in an hour. How am I gonna find a replacement?
Alfred: Master Bruce, perhaps I can substitute for you on the field.
Bruce: Thanks for offering, but I can't let you put yourself in danger like that.
Alfred: Then might I suggest, as Ms. Kyle said, bending one of your rules?
Bruce: Hm...
[later]
Joker: With a push of a button, I'm going to send this entire street sky high!
Clark dressed as Batman: Not if I can help it.
Joker: What is this, some sort of flying device?
Clark: Some changes were made.
Joker: Like what?
Diana, dressed as Batman: Like this.
Diana: *lassoes the Joker*
Joker: There's two of you?!?
Ollie, dressed as Batman, perched on a gargoyle: A little more than that.
Dinah, dressed as Batman: And we have some new tricks up our sleeve. Like this.
Dinah: *screams*
Arthur, dressed as Batman, bursting from the sewer: And this.
Arthur: *catches Joker in a whirlpool*
Hal, dressed as Batman, pointing his ring: And this.
Hal: *traps Joker in a ball*
J'onn, dressed as Batman: May I?
Zatanna, dressed as Batman: I want in too.
Hal: Okay, all of us on the count of three.
Everyone: *bounces Joker back to Arkham*
Barry, dressed as Batman: *runs in late*
Barry: Aw man, I missed it!
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Danny vs. The Flash(es)
you know in a lot of fics 'the flashes' be it wally or barry or just all of them say that they don't believe in ghosts...
and danny is just standing in front of them like i am right here-
as a little tiny treat i think danny should turn around and say well i dont believe in the speed force :/ like ...
The Flash: you're a ghost? impossible they dont exist!
Danny: oh really well thats a shame i dont believe in the speed force sooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TF: but thats stupid... the speed force has been proven i am staNDING RIGHT HERE
D: what am i doing then... cause i am not the figment of batsys imagination... or am i... or are you... how do i know you are right there... i dont believe in you
TF: *screaming in fast* *crying in speedy*
***rest of the JL is just in the back ground and constintine in crying with laughter... batman is secretly living his best life tbh he is gonna show his kids the cowl footage later and have barbara save it for black mail***
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One of those "Jason becomes friends with Ghost King!Danny in the Zone after he dies" AUs but Jason just. Never leaves. He spends three years just hanging out in the Zone, partially amnesiac and everything. He gets a place in the King's Court (literally just the Official Friend Group of people Danny likes) and fully builds a new life in the Zone.
And then, one day, the Justice League has to travel to the Infinite Realms to meet with the Ghost King (their summoning portals wouldn't work). They travel all the way up to the castle and are told to enter the king's receiving chambers
Imagine their surprise when the king isn't the otherworldly eldrich monster they were expecting but a glowing ghost kid hanging out on a throne messing with his friends
And then the king and the ghosts+court notice the League and settle down, arranging themselves to look more Official(tm). The League approaches, and Superman is laying out the reasons the League wanted to meet with the Ghost King. And Batman, who has been looking around, cataloguing everything in the room, finally gets a good look at one of the Knights of the King's Court
"Jason?"
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Actually going insane over the implications of Jason asking Dick to be the Robin to his Batman in Battle for the Cowl.
Like I initially took it at the purely surface-level of Jason wanting a partner in the general sense. Which made sense, it's a huge responsibility and a lonely one so an assistant/sidekick/partner seems a no-brainer if you can get one.
But then I really thought about it, because Jason is not asking Dick to be his partner in the general sense; he's not even asking Dick to be his Nightwing. He's asking Dick to be his Robin.
And they both know exactly what Jason means: "Be the light to my darkness. Be the smile to my scowl. Be the hope to my fear. "
He's saying "Be 'Robin'; be the embodiment of Love and Justice and Goodness. Be the exceptional person that you have always been. Be the slightly-less exceptional person that I was when I wore your colors. Be the person that I was in the process of becoming and might have been (or might still be), if only Joker hadn't clipped my wings."
He's saying "I am prepared to become vengeance, become the Night. And I will go further than Bruce ever dared to, because it is what is needed. I will be the necessary evil. But you don't have to be. If Batman is Gotham's curse, Robin has always been its blessing. I will be the brutal punishment to our world, and I am asking you to be its incandescent gift."
He's saying, "Be for me, what we were for Him. Be my anchor, my comfort, my hope. Remind me what it's all for, why it's all worth it. And remind yourself as well."
He's saying "Be 'Robin' again--for both of our sakes."
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