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#HES BEEN MISSING SINCE THE LAST DAY AND NO ONE CARES
uranometrias · 2 days
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✮ꜜ : ❛ you're still a traitor : criminal minds x fem! reader [ pt. 1 ]
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pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader (unrequited) | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)
summary: being in love with your boss was hard. especially when there were so many factors surrounding you that made the possibility of being with him, out of the question. for starters, there was your age gap, and hotch was a stickler with baggage that he couldn't quite disclose to you. hotch was a fantasy, always out of your grasp, that is until emily dies. in the four months that followed emily's death at the hands of ian doyle, you found yourself living a life that you'd only ever dreamed about. hotch was careful, but the proof was right in front of your face as he went out of his way to care for you while you grieved. how stupid of you not to realize something was horribly wrong. but now emily was back, and hotch was back from reassignment in pakistan, and you were all on trial, and absolutely nothing makes sense except for the bitter understanding that you were a pawn in a game that in so few words was "way bigger than you." but at least you had spence.
content warnings: this is literally a barrel of angst. reader breaks the skin of her palms with her nails. mentions of slight! anxiety. follows the plot of "it takes a village" aka the iconic "this is calm, and it's doctor" episode. flashbacks x present day! spencer has been crushing on reader for as long as she's been crushing on hotch. hotch is NOT romantically interested in reader. slight! hotchniss vibes (but that's up to your interpretation. jj x reader angst! reader does not react to emily's return well. mentions of unit transfer / bureau resignation. spencer confesses to reader... open ending making room for a part 2! heartbreak, drinking, crying. best friend! penelope garcia + derek morgan. reader has a sister & niece.
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Your leg shakes violently as you sat just outside the court room, hands balled into tight fists as your nails press deep into the callousing skin of your palms. You couldn't say you were nervous, as far as the previous case was concerned you'd done everything you could to save Declan. You'd take whatever suspension they'd throw your way without batting an eye. You didn't regret the part you played, no, you just regretted the team that you were apart of.
It had been a crazy seven months. You remembered when things turned left, back when Emily started acting weird. She was shorter, snappier, she had less patience with any of you. Long gone were the days of wasting your time with jokes and innuendos. She had a lot on her mind, a lot none of you were privy to, and you remembered how you'd stretched yourself. You'd all tried so hard to show her you were there, to let her know that you could be trusted.
Your face contorts into a scowl, it had become your new resting face in the last few weeks. God, you hated how stupid and naive you'd been back then. Now that everything was out in the open, it was almost too obvious where the deception began. What was the point of taking care of people who had no trouble treating you like some disposable pawn piece to be moved to fit their whims. Damn. You were crying again, you'd been doing that a whole lot too lately.
You scrub furiously at your face, and you hate your teammates a little bit more. JJ had gone first, face devoid of any timidity or uncertainty. Long gone were the days of Jennifer Jareau the Liaison, she was a profiler now, one of you. When she'd come back, you'd been ecstatic. The unit hadn't been the same since she was transferred, you'd missed her so gravely. But now, now the sight of her just reminded you of the secret you'd been holding on the tip of your tongue.
Hotch wasn't the only one who had known about Emily.
You feel a hand moving to rest on the top of your thigh, and you flinch violently. You sniffle audibly, eyes moving to rest on Penelope, your God-given solace. Your best friend. She, Derek, and Spencer were the only ones who wholeheartedly understood what you felt. But even still, Hotch hadn't used their feelings to make them blind, the way he had done with you. He'd played you like a goddamn fiddle, and you'd let him. Because you were weak, stupid, grieving, and in love.
Hotch had never been in the cards for you, not that you weren't beautiful, gorgeous, an amazing agent. You had the stamp of approval of both Agents Gideon and Rossi. Erin Strauss had been (by your request) rejecting every request of transfer any other unit had tried to offer. You were an asset to the bureau, and a major part of this team. You'd been around since the beginning. You'd witnessed doe-eyed Spencer Reid join at age 23, full of facts and anxiety.
You'd seen Derek blossom and break out of his play-boy persona, and become someone that other branches of the law fought to have. You'd been around for so long, you'd witnessed so much, and Hotch knew that. Which you suppose is what you allowed yourself to believe was the reason he'd never shown signs of reciprocating your feelings. He was respecting your future, leaving your options open. But those were the delusional musings of a girl in love with someone she can't have. Hotch wasn't into you, and you knew that.
So why, why, why did you let him convince you of the opposite? For even one measly second? And, yes, of course in the grand scheme of things you understood why he did what he did. But it didn't make it hurt less. In fact knowing his duty to Emily outweighed his duty to anything else just made this whole ordeal feel more like a slap to your face. Penelope gives your thigh a reassuring squeeze, and you're pulled from your running mind. You blink, registering her worry.
"Are you alright?" she asks, and it's the first time anyone's asked you that since the first day. You know they were giving you space to cope, which only seemed to reaffirm your feelings of betrayal and loneliness. "We'll get out of this, alright? And we'll-we'll be able to be a complete family again." she proceeds, and serves you right for believing someone understood what was going on. They'd all misunderstood you. They thought your behavior was fear of the team being dismantled. Some profilers you were surrounded by.
"I'm fine, Garcia." you say, and you can't bite the snippiness if you wanted to. "I just want to get this over with, and get the hell out of here." you add, and you're standing up, Penelope's hand dropping limply as you move your seat. You find a more isolated corner, plopping back into the uncomfortable seat, as the legs squeak slightly. Your leg is back to shaking, only now you've taken to chomping on your bottom lip. You don't imagine Penelope's hurt expression, you know without a doubt that you'll cave. And you can't.
Not this time.
Your phone chirps in your pocket, and you jump once more. Your jumpiness was a new attribute triggered by the amount of sleep you hadn't been getting. Pulling it out you see that it's a call from your big sister, and you curse under your breath. You were supposed to be watching your niece so your sister could pick up an extra shift. None of you had really expected for things to go this far.
"Hey..." you wince, because you can hear the heaviness of your feelings ladled over your words.
"Hey, are you alright? I got a call from Spence." and you're surprised. You look up, searching for the brunette anywhere in the vicinity, and find that he hasn't shown up yet. It's a bit of a shock, especially for someone as punctual as Reid. You did however spot JJ still meandering about, and she's not looking tense at all. Despite your anger towards her, you couldn't deny that she'd quickly fallen into the role of a profiler. It fit her almost like a glove.
"Spencer called you?" you ask, and you hear the tension in your sister's sigh. You imagine that she must be exhausted. Your sister did a lot, and managing a blossoming family was hard. Your niece was five, and she had a new addition to the family on the way. Which was why it was so important for you to be there on the days she needed you to watch your niece.
"Yes, he said something about..." your sister lowers her voice. "Emily." she questions, and you find your head nodding despite the fact she can't see you. "Are you alright?" she asks again, and this time she emphasizes how important it is for her to hear directly from your mouth the state of your wellbeing. Your sister seemed to always see right through you, it was a wonder she wasn't the one in the FBI.
"I'm-" you trail off before you can lie. "I'm sure if they could they'd disband the unit." you whisper, and you look up just as Derek is exiting the court room, Penelope looking terrified as she takes his place. Derek scans the room before he spots you, and his eyes soften. JJ approaches him and the two seem to chat animatedly. Still they look so serious, there was no room for smiles and banter today.
It's not long though before they're looking at you again, and you know that they know. Your self isolation wasn't something you were exactly being subtle about. You immediately look away, focusing in on what your sister was saying. "Bad decisions or not, they're no good without your unit." she says, and pride still manages to swell up inside of you. "You guys do good work. You work because you're together, everyone plays their role." she proceeds, and it's then you shatter.
Play your role. What role exactly did you play? Hotch was the stoic leader that somehow seemed to play the role of pseudo-father so well for every member of the team, with the exception of Rossi and Derek. Derek, was the shoe-in for promotion. The older brother who teased you relentlessly, but would fight til his last breath to protect you, and he always did. JJ, the pretty girl. The one who everyone on the team at some point had been attracted to. But more than that, she was resilient, a subtle glue that kept your unit running.
You quickly slot through everyone else's roles in your head, and huff. What were you except the odd-woman out. The dummy with a crush on your unit chief, and too much knowledge for your own good. You supposed that was why Hotch had to distract you with exaggerated gestures. If you got out of your feelings and really thought about it, you knew that if anyone on the team was going to see through the smoke, and uncover the truth about Emily, it would be you.
So he had to handicap you. What better way than by hanging the possibility of a romance in your face. Still, it was cruel. Just more proof that this was not the family you made them out to be. "Yeah, I'm not so sure." you reply, and you can hear how disgruntled you sound. It smacks you like a ton of bricks, and it's then you truly realize just how hurt you were by everything. Your sister sighs deeply, and it makes you second guess yourself. Were you being irrational? Unfair?
"I know what Hotch did." she begins, "And it was awful to play with your feelings like that." she expresses, and you feel validated. "And nobody's expecting you to just welcome Emily back with open arms after months and months of thinking that she was dead. You were deceived, and I want you to feel however you want, okay?" she says, and you don't respond, mostly because it feels rhetorical. "Just don't do anything rash without thinking it through alright?"
You don't know what she means by that so your eyes roll. "I think we're well past that, if they find us guilty I could lose my job." you remind her, and she chuckles. You don't find it funny, you can't. Your love for the job outweighed a lot of things, so it had been a no-brainer to help Derek seek out Ian Doyle. You wanted his head spinning on a pike, and you weren't planning to take no for an answer.
two weeks prior.
You were sitting across from Derek, steaming mug of coffee in your head that was more french vanilla creamer than anything else. You held the staged photograph of Declan and Louise. Derek's holding an identical photo, a heady sigh escaping him as you both rack your brains for some sort of bullseye. Something that would point you right in the direction of Declan. "Okay, Emily needed to get Declan a new identity." Penelope says as she walks into the office. She sits in the chair right beside you, arm full of stress balls and files. "So she must have used someone that she trusted." she proceeds.
"Alright, well that's a short list, but it's probably not even written down." is Derek's tired reply.
"Even if it was, she's been so many places, with so many different points of contact. " you speak up, and you take a sip from your coffee, praying it kicks in and wakes you up a bit. "It's not gonna be super easy to track and narrow them all down." you say, and you realize your mistake just as Penelope is placing a file in your hands.
"Oh, tell me about it. Two columns, domestic and imports." she says as she passes the other to Derek, who's looking at you with an amused smile stretched across his face. Serves you both right for underestimating the genius of Penelope Garcia. "I accept your apology, cutie." she says, leaning into you as you grin, smacking your lips in a kiss.
"Hey." JJ's at the door of the office, all three of you turning to look her way as she beams brightly. "Have you guys seen, Spence?" she questions, and you remember how you'd offered to bring him a coffee as a respite from the garbage water they served in the bullpen. He'd shut you down politely asking to reschedule as he was going to be spending his day at the Firing Range. You understood the need, he wanted to protect himself, and the team. He had to get better.
"He's at the firing range." you and Penelope speak in unison, making eye contact, as hers narrow. You knew instantly she would have questions about why you of all people knew Spencer's whereabouts.
"Again?" JJ questions as you shrug your shoulders, her eyes flitting towards you.
"Ever since Prentiss died, he..." Penelope speaks your thoughts.
"Right." JJ nods her head. "Uh... did you guys just get a new case?" she questions, hands clasping together in front of her.
"It's just an old one." Derek answers.
"Do you want some fresh eyes?" she asks, and it's painfully clear that she's still figuring out how to feel more like the team again.
"Not just yet." Derek denies, and he's polite, but you knew why he was being this way. You were all for keeping anything related to Doyle under wraps until you were further along.
"Ok. Um, well let me know." she hums, and then she looks back at you. "Y/N, can I..." your eyebrows raise as she trails off. "Can we talk? It'll only take a second." she hopes, and you look to Derek and Penelope for a moment.
"We won't do anything big without you." Derek promises, and you nod, closing the file, and handing it off, before you stand to your feet. You follow JJ out of the office, and down the hallway, stopping just before you reach the heart of the bullpen. You look to her expectantly, a bit confused, but not on edge. You had missed JJ, and in the two months she'd been back, it'd been pretty hard to get some real time with her. You'd hoped a break in the case would help to change that.
"Everything okay, Jaige?" you ask, and you witness how she exhales in relief right in front of you.
"God, it is now." she says, and your eyebrows jump up. She seems to understand the confusion on your face as she lets out a chuckle, dispelling more of her own tension. "You've been calling me Agent Jareau since I got back... not JJ and definitely not Jaige." she explains, as it seems to register for you. "I guess I was just a little worried I'd done something to make you mad at me." she admits, and she's clearly sheepish.
"Oh." you chuckle yourself, and you reach out to hold her shoulder. "No, you've done nothing wrong." you promise. "I've just been a bit in my head these last few weeks, but I'm really glad you're back." JJ beams at your words, and all the remaining tension in her posture dissipates instantly.
present day.
"Hey, everything alright?" you look up, pulled from your thoughts at the presence of Spencer Reid. He's holding a medium cup of a steaming liquid that you can only assume is coffee, and you find yourself smiling despite yourself. "I remember you asked me a few weeks ago about coffee." he holds it out, and you're quick to press your phone to your shoulder, neck craning slightly as you take it.
"Thanks, Spence." you mumble, and you can practically hear your sister's smirk from the other line. "Could you just give me one second, I'm talking to my sister?" you question, and Spencer nods his head, eyes widening in understanding. You smile politely, and he beams back at you, pretty eyes seemingly brightening before he's making his way over to Derek who's smirking like the nuisance he is.
"Hey." you mumble once he's gone, and your sister is snickering. For some odd reason she'd been dropping hints that maybe the guy on the team you should be setting your sights on was Spencer. To your defense, it wasn't like he wasn't attractive. You'd be an idiot to deny his boyish charm and good looks, but after he'd sat you down and admitted he had a crush on JJ, back during his second year, you'd sort of blocked any potential attraction towards him out of your head.
Now he was just Spence.
"Hey, I should go. I just wanted to check in, Spence made me aware of everything so I've got everything figured out on this end." she promises you, and you nod once more despite yourself. "Just think about what I said, alright? It'd be a shame for you to leave behind such a good job." she finishes, and you don't know how to respond to that, so you don't. "Call me later?" she questions, though you know she's telling you more than asking.
"I will." you reply, and she sounds pleased as she exhales.
"I'll talk to you soon." and then the phone is clicking. You adjust your grip on your coffee, using your free hand to grab your phone, and place it down on your lap. The coffee smelled good, it was from that cute shoppe that sold different pastries and always smelled like cinnamon. You'd been there with Spencer and Penelope a handful of times, and they always made your coffee exactly how you liked it. Still, Spencer had never ordered for you so you await a mishap.
The first sip warms you up instantly, and you're knocked flat on your ass by how on point the drink was. Your eyes snap upwards, looking across the lobby towards Spencer, who's awkwardly sitting in a seat, Derek beside him. JJ was gone now, but you figured she was probably with Hotch and Emily, the three of them had been attached at the hip since the team was "back together". You're certain them being gone was what led you to standing to your feet.
You walk towards Derek and Spencer quietly, slipping into a seat next to Spencer as Derek leaned up against the wall. "I didn't know that you knew my coffee order." you whisper, and Spencer turns to look at you. He offers a half smile, you were certain you'd be passing a lot of those back and forth until the court proceedings were done with.
"Of course I do." he shrugs his shoulders. "I pay attention when you talk." he promises, and you wonder why he had to like JJ, and why you had to like Hotch. On paper, and off paper Spencer Reid was the perfect candidate for boyfriend, plus he never pretended to be into you to keep you from finding out the truth. You both fall into silence, there's not much else to say, but you let his words repeat in your head. I pay attention when you talk. It makes your stomach twist.
"You alright over there, pretty girl?" Derek's voice barely reaches over a whispered volume. It seemed you all were feeling the dreary aftershocks of an ordeal like the one you'd found yourselves in. You look up at Derek tiredly, and you don't understand why he's asking you this, not until you feel the scalding heat of hot coffee singing your skin. Two sets of worried eyes are drawn to your cup, it's squished in your palm, brown liquid streaming everywhere.
"Shit." you hiss, and the cup falls to the floor, you're quick to clutch your burnt hand. God, you were really torn up over this.
"I'll get this cleaned up." Derek promises, and he looks at Spencer as if he was communicating something he didn't want you privy to. Spencer falters, only for a second before he's reaching out for your forearm, and guiding you to your feet. You trail after him, walking down the long corridor, listening out for the telltale sign that Penelope was done, and they'd be calling you next. On your route you pass JJ who looks concerned as she looks between the two of you.
"Spence, Y/N?" she says, and you avert your gaze, you're not sure if you're more angry or embarrassed.
"Sh-she spilled some coffee." Spencer explains, but he doesn't stop walking. "Shouldn't be more than a first degree burn, if she soaks her hand for five minutes, everything should be fine." he is passive as he speaks, eyes never quite meeting hers as he continues to lead you.
"Let me take her." JJ offers, and both you and Spencer are quick to offer denials. She looks hurt but masks it quickly. "It's not like you can go into the girl's bathroom with her, right?" she says and it's then you both realize you've got no other choice. He looks to you, trying to gauge how you'd feel about it, and you sigh. Maybe this was for the best, you could finally get things off your chest with JJ. It was only fair. He seems to clock the instant you've decided, and concedes.
"I'll be right out here." he promises, and you nod slowly. He looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn't get the chance to.
"Spence." JJ says his name a bit more sternly, and he resists the urge to cut his eyes in her direction. He ignores her long enough to take in your ailed hand, he saw the way the skin began to redden and swell. He seems cross as he passes you off to JJ, and you feel a bit silly being fussed over for something as minute as a coffee burn. JJ's earnest in the way she takes you to the nearest women's restroom. You hiss the second the cold water comes in contact with your skin.
You don't say anything to JJ though, losing your nerve the second the two of you were alone. She looks like she's waiting for you to say something though, eyes brimming with some sort of unease. She was reading you, using her new skills to profile you. You suppose that's exactly what pushes you to finally speak. "We said we'd never profile one another." you remind her crossly, and she's sheepish. "Just because you're doing it in your head doesn't make it any less invasive." you keep your wrist in place, hissing silently.
"If you would just talk to me I wouldn't have to go that far." she counters, and you blink. Fair, but you had every right to keep your distance from her. Just because the rest of the team was still more or less unaware of JJ's role in harboring the secret of Emily, you'd read right through her.
"What's there to talk about exactly?" you ask. "None of us want to be here dealing with this." and you take the route of the naive girl.
"I'm not talking about with the trial... and the senators." she shakes her head, and she's almost pleading as she tries to catch your eyes in the mirror. "I'm talking about Emily." she deadpans. "Everything that happened?" she proceeds. "You've hardly said a word to her since she came back." she doesn't want to come off like she's scolding you, and so she takes in a breath before her tone can become defensive.
"I don't speak to ghosts." and it's a quiet little dig that she hears all the same. It forces a tense silence to wash over the restroom, the only sound slicing through the awkwardness is the water rushing from the spout. JJ clears her throat, blinking a few times as she adjusts your wrist, allowing the water to evenly coat your burn. Only a few more minutes of this and you could make your grand escape.
"That's not fair." she finally voices her thoughts with a deep sigh.
"Isn't it?" you snap. "Seven months we thought she was dead." and you suppose that was a mistake of hers, getting you started. "Pretty lucky that you were off at the Pentagon, right?" you ask sourly. "Or was it lucky that you were in on the whole scam? I mean you were at the funeral, but you didn't have to cry, you didn't have to grieve." you accuse, and JJ's jaw slackens, clearly surprised at your outburst.
"I lost my friend too, okay?" she counters and you scoff.
"Did you?" you argue. "All those nights I called you crying, all those texts, those check ins... how long did you know Emily was still alive?" you demand, and JJ's feeling cornered, and her heart rate is picking up. She knew there'd be mixed feelings about this, but she'd never expected to ever be at odds with you. You, Spencer, and JJ rounded out the younger crowd on the team, it was your job to stick together. "Answer me." you insist, and you sound so crushed as you speak.
"I knew the whole time." she answers, and you nod your head, because of course you already knew.
"Exactly." you sneer. "You're a liar." you hate how angry this whole thing makes you, but you can't deny it. They'd played with your feelings, all of them, and now you were meant to behave like nothing was wrong. "Did you know about Hotch?" you ask, and JJ flinches. She doesn't answer for a while, and the water seems to rush even louder in your ears.
"I told him it wasn't smart." she finally answers. "But we needed to ensure that Emily wasn't at risk, it was harmless... just some flirting to keep you from getting too close to the truth." and JJ is speaking as if this wasn't some major breach of your position as coworkers and alleged friends. "He'd never cross the line." she reminds you, and the reminder that yeah, Hotch would never be with you makes you wince.
"And he didn't." she says this like she knows for certain. "It was flirting, Y/N. it didn't mean anything, we just needed you to..." and she trails off when she sees how destroyed you look at her admission. "Y/N..." she trails off, and you inhale sharply.
"Don't." you exhale, and you snatch your hand from her grasp. The cool air of the bathroom immediately attacks the welts blooming on your hand. You don't have time to pay them any mind.
"We just wanted to protect you... and keep Emily safe in the process. The more of us that knew Emily was alive, the more of a liability we'd be while Doyle was still on the run." she says, and you suppose in the grand scheme you understand. As profilers, as special agents working for the FBI they'd done great work. As your friends, as people you'd considered family for years... they'd betrayed you.
Plain and simple.
"Congratulations, you did exactly what you meant to." you say dully, and you sniffle, though no tears are set to come. Instead you feel more anger blossoming in the pit of your gut. "I hope it was worth it." and it's dramatic, but you deserve the dramatics, sidestepping the blonde and leaving her behind just as Emily is stepping inside. She looks at you wide-eyed, before she sees JJ standing there seemingly frazzled.
"Is everything okay?" she questions, and you don't offer her an answer, instead leaving the restroom as your earlier words ring in your head. I don't talk to ghosts. And you don't, and despite your history you'd never allow yourself to. You find your way back to the seats that led to the courtroom, Derek was gone, the only person still there was Spencer. He stands up as soon as he hears your shoes.
"Where's Derek?" you ask quietly.
"He left with Garcia." he answers quietly. "I guess they're dismissed for now. They're in with Dave now." he explains, and your eyes shift to the door. More than likely you or Spencer would be next.
You sit down, and Spencer follows you, sinking back into his seat as his legs just barely brush against yours. "Are you scared?" you ask, and Spencer's head shakes.
"Are you?" he shoots back, and you look away from the door.
"Not of this." you admit. "But of what comes after." you add and Spencer's pretty brown eyes are swimming with confusion. "Can we really all bounce back from something like this?" you ask, and it's rhetorical, but he answers you all the same.
"We've come back from worse." he reminds you, and that faint smile is worming back onto your face.
"Sure we have." you agree numbly. Spencer's eyes drop to your hand.
"How does it feel?" he asks, and you follow his gaze with a shrug of your shoulders. He doesn't look pleased by this approach, and it makes you sigh.
"Just feels like I ran some water over it." you admit, and Spencer chuckles. "A bit anticlimactic if I'm honest with you, Doctor." and you're partly teasing, mostly because it's so easy.
"You'll need some sort of petroleum jelly... there's some pretty good products that aren't at all carcinogenic like the leading brands." he begins on a tangent, and it makes you smile a bit bigger. "That with some gauze is the perfect remedy for such a mild burn." he proceeds and you look down at it. There's a moment of silence between you, before he's talking again. "Can I ask what happened?" he whispers.
You hum, almost like you're pretending you can't hear him.
"With the coffee? Was it not good? I tried to follow your order exactly." he says and you squeeze your eyes closed.
"It wasn't you or the coffee, Spence." you promise him, and without thinking you reach out, small hand resting on his shoulder. "The coffee was perfect." you insist, and he relaxes, but not enough. "I guess I'm just thrown about all of this." you proceed. "No matter how much I try to remind myself that they did this to protect Emily... that their deception was for a good reason, it just makes me angrier. Why is it that I have to rationalize being angry?" you question.
"I have to reign my feelings in for the sake of the team." you're careful not to grow loud. Spencer's eyebrows are pressed inwardly, head shaking.
"You don't." he denies you quickly. "You shouldn't." he corrects.
"You're right." you agree, and your silent for only a second. "I wish everyone could be like you, Spence." you say, and your words surprise him. He feels this familiar wave of adoration that always seems to swallow him whole whenever he was around you.
"Really?" he knows it might be pathetic, to be hopeful for something like this. The chance to hear what popped in your head whenever you thought of him.
"Yeah." you say firmly, and he tries not to look too eager. "You're so smart." you tell him, and he knows this, but it still feels nice hearing it from you. "And you're always nice to me." you add with a quiet laugh. "And you'd never lie to me would you?" you ask, and in truth, it's not a fair question. Spencer wasn't in the position the others were in.
"What do you mean?" he asks, and he fears it may be the wrong response. You don't even react, at least not that he can tell.
"Nothing." you settle on, head shaking from side to side. "Forget I mentioned it." and he doesn't really want to remind you that his memory quite literally makes that impossible. "I heard that you weren't fighting the suspension." you say conversationally, and he's surprised, mostly because the only person he'd told about that was Derek. Which meant you had been talking about him when he wasn't around.
"I guess I just stand by everything we did." he tells you, and your hand still hurts a bit, but it's definitely a problem for a later version of you.
"Me too. I'm glad we got Doyle, and Declan's safe." you exhale, and despite your anguish towards the team, you meant every word.
"And the team's back together." Spencer himself doesn't sound so convinced. You look over at him at this, your own unconvinced expression slowly cracking through his attempt at a cool facade.
"Is it?" you ask, and Spencer's face softens, a small little frown taking over his otherwise usually content face. He couldn't admit it now, mostly because it didn't feel like the right time, but he paid attention to you. He knew all about your complicated feelings for Hotch "I don't want to be on a team with people who purposely keep me in the dark about things." you ask, and Spencer pauses.
"I'm sure they wouldn't if they had another choice." he offers, and it's not how he feels at all, but it's what you need to hear.
"You don't believe that." you deny, and Spencer can't fight his chuckle. "Or maybe you do, you've always been good at seeing the best in people."
"Oh, do you think so?" it's a bit of a surprise. With your job description it would've made more sense for you to tell him that he saw the worst in people. He felt it was a fair thing to say that he was exceptionally good at his job, but it's then he recognizes what it is you're truly saying, or at least alluding to. It makes his face heat up immediately, cheeks blossoming a rosy red that makes him want to roll his eyes.
"Of course." you promise, and then you're looking at him again. Your face is one of the prettiest he's ever seen, and it's not even subtle. You seem a bit uncertain of your own allure though, which to him is a major shock. "You're like the best person ever." you add, and he expects you to snicker or show some sign that you were joking, but you don't. Bad for him, because his deluded mind full of fantasies starring you would take words like those the wrong way.
"I think you're the best person ever..." he's whispered this, but you hear it all the same, and he's lucky enough to witness the way your entire face morphs. Despite the bleariness in your eyes, you beam brightly. He hates though, that you start to cry. It starts with one tear slipping down your cheek and dripping into your lap. The onslaught comes right after, and before you know it, you're choking on sobs.
"God..." he hears the bitter tang of self-loathing that attaches and weaves itself into your otherwise honey-filled tone. "You're making this so hard, Spencer." you huff, and you scrub at your face harshly. He doesn't understand, but he's too frozen in place to ask you what you mean. Lucky him, you seem to know that you've got explain a bit, so you do. "I'm gonna resign." you say this quietly, sniffling as more tears fall. Spencer feels like he's misheard you.
He wants to have misheard you. He flounders a bit, and he's mentally scolding himself, because he has to hurry the fuck up and say something. "You can't!" and he's scolding himself again for sounding too eager. You jump a bit at the outburst, and he winces right along with you. "We just got everyone back." he reminds you, and you exhale, head nodding in understanding.
"I know." you promise him. "Why do you think this is so hard. You think I want to be the asshole that turns the unit on its head?" you ask. "But I can't stay here and pretend that everything's fine... or act like I don't feel thrown about all of this." you proceed, and of course, Spencer understands, he's upset he was lied too as well.
"I understand." he admits with a sigh, and you let out a quiet noise of relief, almost like you were worried he'd be upset with you. He assumes this is just him being delusional again. You look like you have something sitting on the tip of your tongue, so he stays silent to give you the room to say all that you need to.
"Have you ever had feelings for someone?" you ask. You chuckle at the look he shoots you, "Not just for a second, Spence." you proceed. "I mean like... take your breath away, kind of almost-in-love feelings." you indulge, and Spencer's keen to shut his mouth. Yes, is the loud and resounding answer that rings in his head, because foolishly he'd allows you to captivate him like the siren you were almost three years prior. He'd be a dummy to tell you such now though.
"I-" he blinks harshly, eyes feeling too dry. "I can't say I have." he lies, and he remembers your words from earlier, how you'd praised him for being someone who would never lie to you. You don't seem to notice his deception though, and if you do, you're too in your own head to comment on it.
"Good." you say with a shuddered breath. "They're nothing but a headache, especially when the person doesn't want you back." you exhale the words, and it's like a dagger is being lunged into his chest. How dense could you possibly be with all your super smarts?
"Did something happen with Hotch?" he asks, and now it's your turn to be embarrassed, face pinching up as you choke on a breath. "I don't mean to pry, if it's personal... it's just that-" he trails off, seemingly waiting for you to berate him or tell him to back off. You don't, instead your nose twitches, and you begin to look at your shoes. "Y/N?" he nudges you with his elbow, and it's light.
"No." you finally say, head shaking. "I thought maybe..." you trail off, more embarrassment slicing at you as you cringe. "But it was all a ruse, just a way to keep me from getting too close, and figuring out everything about Emily before they wanted us to know." you say and Spencer's eyebrows furrow.
"They?" he pries, and you look at him like he's silly.
"Hotch and JJ." you answer plainly, and it takes Spencer a second. JJ who he'd went to for comfort for ten weeks? He blinks at you, and you shrug. "So you see... anyone that could take my feelings and use them to manipulate me... are they really worth sticking around for?" you ask, and Spencer doesn't want to validate you in this way. He wants to be selfish, he wants you to stay on the team.
He thinks about how devasted everyone would be. How devasted he would be to walk into the bullpen and find that your desk was empty.
"I don't want you to go..." he admits, and it's quite pitiful, the sadness that soaks the words like gasoline. You find yourself chomping on your lip again, nails pressing into the cuts of your palms, and Spencer's catching your bad habits in real time.
It's a bit invasive, the way his hand surges out, and stops you in your tracks. "Please don't do this." and you're not sure if he's talking about leaving the unit, or if he's referring to the gashes littering your hands. When he holds your palm out flat, and rubs his thumb across the bleeding indentations, you find that you understand quickly.
Every few seconds it's ebbing with more droplets of blood, and he's quick to wipe them away like they offend him. Just as he's moving to say something else, the doors to the courtroom are opening, and Dave Rossi is exiting, his eyes immediately on you and Spencer. You must look foolish, hands intertwined as you stare wide-eyed at the team's senior agent. It's probably why Spencer is dropping your hand as you're snatching it away from his grasp.
You still find that your eyes are quick to appraise one another. He's looking at you, and you're staring back, mouths parted as if you'd been caught. Had you been caught? Had there really been anything to catch? You don't have time to answer, because you're being called next. You frown at Spencer, standing to your feet as he feels his pulse threaten to leap to disrespectful speeds.
"Y/N..." he calls after you, and you stop for a second. Eager eyes fall back on him, and he's trailing off, because the look in your eyes says it all. If you got out of this without being fired, you could imagine a world where quitting the FBI no longer made you sick to your stomach. Silence befalls the space, and he shakes his head after a beat. You look disappointed but not surprised, inhaling deep and audibly as you march towards the court room.
Spencer doesn't know what you're going to say, but he hopes recalling all you'd been through in the last few weeks will be enough to make you stay. At least until he has the courage to ensure that you leaving the team doesn't equate to losing you entirely and completely.
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solar-wing · 2 days
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⚣ Take Care Of Me 🪢
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⚣🪢 A/N → Another request from my first account is finished! Sorry for how long it took but I hope you enjoy it. WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI | Omegaverse | Alpha Jason Todd | Omega Male Reader | African-American Male Reader | Ruts | Rough Sex | Oral Sex | Fingering | Knotting | Bondage | ETC
⚣🪢 Summary → As a side effect of Jason being healed and resurrected in the Lazarus pits, his ruts have grown more intense. He's resigned to suffering through them alone until he realizes the longer he goes without knotting an Omega, the stronger they will get. So he decides to reach out to Y/N...
⚣🪢 Words → 12.7K
REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛
⚣ ENJOY 🪢
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Jason could be such an irresponsible, stubborn little shit sometimes.
“Y/N, chill out. I don’t need you to always take care of me,” Jason grumbled as the smaller male forced him to sit on the toilet in his bathroom while he patched and mended his wounds.
“Apparently, you do doofus, since you always end up showing up on my balcony a bloody and bruised mess. I swear, Jason, one of these days you’re going to get yourself killed if you don’t just start learning to ask for help,” Y/N scolded as he applied an anesthetic to a nasty blade wound on the vigilante’s arm. Any deeper and Jason wouldn’t have been lucky enough to make it to Y/N’s before he passed out from blood loss.
“Been there, done that sweetheart,” Jason smirked.
Y/N rolled his eyes at him while wrapping the gauze and bandage around his admittedly large bicep, “You’re insufferable.”
“But, you still love me,” Jason confidently stated, standing to his feet after Y/N put on the last bandage.
“Regretfully,” Y/N retorted as he packed away his medical supplies. Ever since that first night he and Jason met, the Omega kept his med kit stocked, even splurging on a few extra items he would need for certain wounds that only a trip to the ER would be able to treat.
Y/N's sight turned to the muscular Alpha standing beside him, watching from the corner of his eyes as he checked his wounds and grabbed his shirt and gear from the ground. Even though they were only friends, the Omega couldn’t deny the attraction he felt towards the vigilante.
He didn’t know if it was romantic or just sexual, but it was something. But, seeing the life Jason had and his choice of career, he decided it’d be better if he didn’t indulge himself in that, no matter how badly he wanted to.
They’d met a couple of years prior when Y/N had first moved to Gotham. Since he was new to the city, he didn’t understand the dos and don’ts and would consistently go for walks late at night when most people would usually be inside by then with the doors and windows locked.
As one can imagine, this eventually led him to trouble when one random night, he got ambushed by some thugs. At first, they were going to just mug him, but when they realized he was an Omega, their intentions slightly changed with a very undesirable end for Y/N.
Thankfully, an angel came to his rescue in the form of the famous vigilante, Red Hood. He’d knocked out the two Alphas cornering the Omega against the wall and scaring off the one Beta before coming over to help the Omega off the ground.
Of course, there was the cliché moment where the rescued victim thanks their savior gleefully and they slowly glance at each other, feeling a deep connection before they fall in love and swoop off into the night. Well, at least it could’ve gone like that.
As Red Hood was checking to make sure the Omega was okay and escorting him out the alleyway, they both missed one of the other Alphas getting back to their feet and grabbing their weapon off the ground before charging at the vigilante. He was able to fight him off and knock him out, but not before taking some pretty nasty cuts that would’ve been lethal had he not reacted quickly.
When Y/N realized how badly he was injured, he helped him back to his apartment where he thankfully had barely enough supplies in his first-aid kit to stop the initial bleeding and patch him up enough. The Omega suggested taking him to the hospital, but Red Hood turned it down.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I got some people who’ll take good care of me. But, you be careful out there. No more late-night walks in this city, got it?”
After that night, Y/N didn’t see Red Hood for some time until a few weeks later when he showed up on his balcony again, bruised and battered and in dire need of some medical aid. Why he didn’t go to his ‘people’ but rather going to a random Omega he’d only met some weeks prior was beyond him, but he didn’t complain.
Eventually, with enough visits, they went from random strangers to somewhat trusted acquaintances, until eventually, they were seeing each other so much, a lot of the time the vigilante not needing any medical attention, just checking in on the Omega that they became friends.
Now, just a couple of years later, Y/N knew not just Red Hood, but the man behind the hood and under the skin-tight gear which he did not ogle regularly. He didn’t! Stop looking at him like that!
“Ah, you don’t mean that,” Jason said while putting his shirt back on.
He turned to the Omega who’d just put away his med kit back under the sink before looking at him and placing his hands against the sink, leaning back for support.
“You can’t tell me what I mean,” Y/N replied.
“Yes, I can. You always say I'm insufferable, but never mean it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so kind to let me into your apartment every time I need your delicate touch," Jason teased.
And for whatever reason, Jason saying that sparked a bit of arousal in Y/N's stomach, but he chose to ignore it.
"Whatever," Y/N replied with an eye roll while pressing himself against the sink as he noticed the sudden closeness between him and Jason, not even noticing that the Alpha had got closer, almost boxing him against the sink, "Um, sir? Why are you so close? This bathroom is already small enough, and you're not helping by taking up so much space here."
Y/N didn't even want to turn around and look in the mirror, knowing that Jason's towering and bulky frame shown in the mirror compared to his smaller and softer one would cause very sinful thoughts in his mind. Not that he hadn't had these thoughts before.
"I'm not taking up any more space than you are, shorty," Jason retorted.
"That's a bold-faced lie. We both know I'm a perfectly respectable height. You're just giant," Y/N replied.
Jason chuckled, his laugh making the Omega's body feel all tingly and warm. It didn't help that the sound seemed to resonate from the Alpha's chest, the vibrations from his laugh reaching Y/N's own, causing the smaller male to bite his bottom lip.
"Maybe there'd be more room if you got rid of the ridiculous number of lotions and creams you have in here," Jason spoke lowly, subtly getting closer to the Omega while leaning more into his space.
"You leave me and my lotions alone. Don't get mad at me because I don't allow myself to be ashy, which speaking of it, you probably need some help with. Then again, that could just be your caucasianess," Y/N said, gesturing a hand over Jason's body where his pale and ivory skin was exposed.
Jason chuckled, "Why do you always have to go and attack my skin color?"
"Because, unlike you, I'm not an enemy of the sun," Y/N replied.
"Okay, just because I lack melanin doesn't make you better than me."
"Hmm, I think it does," Y/N joked.
"You're an asshole."
"But, you still love me," Y/N replied, mocking Jason's earlier words.
Y/N noticed again the space becoming much smaller between him and the Alpha, and it was not doing much to help quell the growing arousal he was already feeling in his body. He and Jason already had a platonic bond, since Jason would constantly scent mark him on his wrists and leave clothes for the Omega to wear whenever he knew the smaller male was going out into the city by himself.
The gesture was appreciated, and Y/N was flattered that the vigilante was concerned for his well-being, but having his clothes filled with the Alpha's scent wasn't helping his already developing feelings for the Alpha.
"You're still getting closer," Y/N breathed.
"And you're still not stopping me," Jason replied, his voice a low and husky rumble, making the Omega's toes curl in his shoes.
"I...uh," Y/N tried to think of a response, his brain feeling fuzzy.
A few quiet seconds passed before something passed over Jason's eyes, seemingly like he was coming out of a trance. The Alpha took a step back, giving the Omega a little bit of breathing room, even despite his disappointment at his moving back.
"Sorry, I uh...sorry, I didn't mean to get so close," Jason apologized.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm not upset," Y/N told him, gently placing his hand on the Alpha's wrist, jerking at the heat he felt underneath the ivory skin, "Jason, you're really hot."
"Well, thank you, sweetheart. Glad you noticed," Jason winked, trying to deflect the comment.
"No, no, I mean, you're burning up. Are you okay?" Y/N asked, removing his hand and using it to press the back of his palm against the Alpha's forehead, a worried look crossing his face. He didn't even realize it was him now closing the distance between them, stepping into the Alpha's space.
"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry. I'm just running a bit of a fever, it's no big deal," Jason answered.
"You're literally sweating buckets, and your skin is red. This is more than just a 'bit of a fever'. Have you taken your temperature? How about a shower and some cold water? I'm sure I have some ice packs-"
"I'm fine, Y/N. Just drop it," Jason snapped, a little too harshly as the Omega immediately flinched and stepped back, looking away from the Alpha.
"Right, sorry. I didn't mean to bother," Y/N mumbled.
Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair, "No, don't apologize. I didn't mean to snap. Look, it's late, and I'm exhausted. I'll head home and sleep it off, alright?"
"You're welcome to stay the night if you want. It's no trouble. I'll even let you use my various lotions," Y/N joked, though his tone and face were still showing his worry for his friend.
"Thanks, but I'm not gonna intrude. I'll see you later, Y/N," Jason said, walking past the Omega.
Before he could say anything else, Jason grabbed the rest of his things and was out of the bathroom and his apartment within a couple of minutes. The sudden tense and awkward silence was a little unsettling for the Omega, especially after how close he and the Alpha had become in the past couple of years.
"Well, fuck," Y/N breathed, running a hand through his hair.
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A couple of days had gone by and Y/N hadn't heard anything from Jason. It wasn't unusual for him to go radio silent for a few days, sometimes a couple of weeks if he was working on an important case.
But, this was different. After seeing how Jason left his apartment the other night, the Omega had been nothing other than an anxious and worried mess.
What was wrong with him? Why was he acting so weirdly the other night? Was he okay? Did Y/N accidentally make him mad about the Sun joke?
That wouldn't make sense though since Jason had the raunchiest sense of humor he'd ever known. The jokes Y/N made could be considered playground stuff compared to some of the stuff that came out of that man's mouth.
All these questions and more had been running through the Omega's mind for the past couple of days. He wanted to check on the Alpha but was afraid of what his reaction would be if he did.
He'd thought about asking reaching out to Dick or Bruce or someone from Jason's family to see if they'd heard from him, but quickly decided against it, not wanting to come off as a clingy or annoying Omega.
Jason would talk to him when he was ready, and he had no choice but to respect that.
Even though it didn't make the wait any less painful or worrying.
"Fuck it," Y/N cursed, grabbing his phone from the coffee table.
Scrolling through his contacts, he found the name he was looking for and pressed the call button, lifting the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Alfred. It's Y/N."
"Master Y/N. What a surprise. How are you, my dear boy?"
"I'm doing well, thank you," A smile spread across his face at the polished voice on the other end. The butler was always so nice and respectful to speak to. Jason always said it was impossible to talk to Alfred and not feel good or better about yourself.
"Wonderful to hear. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Actually, yes. I was hoping you'd be able to tell me where Jason is. I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, and I was just wondering if you knew where he was."
"Unfortunately, I am not aware of Master Jason's whereabouts, nor is anyone else in the manor. He has not contacted anyone within the family for some time, and we are all rather concerned."
That had Y/N even more worried.
He knew Jason didn't have the best relationship with Bruce, his adoptive father, but from what the Omega understood, that disdain didn't extend to his other family members. At least not completely.
Especially Alfred of all people. Jason always said how Alfred was his favorite out of everyone in that entire family, so the fact that the butler didn't know what was going on had him even more on edge.
"Is everything alright, Master Y/N?" Alfred asked, noticing the Omega's long silence.
"Oh, yes, sorry. Everything's fine. Just a bit distracted," Y/N lied.
"Of course, my dear boy. If there is anything else I can do, please let me know."
"Yes, sir. Thank you," Y/N replied, hearing the butler hang up the phone a second later.
"Fuck," the Omega cursed.
After putting his phone down, the Omega ran a hand down his face while doing a nervous scratch on his durag-covered head. It didn't make sense, and the Omega was beginning to worry something terrible had happened to the vigilante, knowing the life he led.
"Dammit Jay, where the hell are you?"
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"Fucking shit," Jason groaned, sweat dripping down his body as his hands gripped the sheets.
His teeth were clenched tightly together, and his body was trembling slightly from the intense pain his lower region was feeling as he furiously moved the pocket sex toy furiously up and down his raging and hard dick, damn near close to breaking it which wouldn't be good considering it was his last one.
"Fuck, fuck, fuuuck," Jason growled, his hips arching off the bed.
This was the fourth night in a row that the Alpha had been suffering through the intense pain that was his rut. The pain was only getting worse the longer he ignored and attempted to suppress his instincts, which he wasn't doing a good job of doing if the state of his apartment was anything to go by.
His bedroom, living room, kitchen, and every other room in the apartment was in complete disarray. Broken pieces of furniture were scattered across the floor, his walls had multiple holes in them, and a few stains of his blood could be found in various spots around the place.
It was a good thing he paid rent up front and the building manager was never around, or they would've kicked him out and called the police.
"Ugh, aah," the Alpha grunted, his hips arching off the bed as the vibrations coursed through his dick, sending shivers throughout his body.
His knot was already swollen and pulsating, but it wasn't enough. He needed an actual hole to insert his knot into. A nice wet, tight, and pulsing hot hole that he could fuck and breed, pumping his cum and his seed inside.
He needed an Omega.
"Goddammit," Jason panted, tossing the small toy to the side and laying his head back on the pillow, a sheen layer of sweat covering his entire body.
The pain had gone away temporarily, but now the urge to fuck and knot an Omega was growing stronger, and it was making him lose his mind. If he could just find an Omega and breed them, the pain would go away. But, he couldn't just go and pick up a random Omega off the street and force them to spread their legs so the Alpha fuck their brains out even if that's what his body was calling him to do.
At least, not without being arrested and charged with rape.
It took everything in him to leave Y/N's apartment that night after he realized he was entering the early stages of his rut, hence his somewhat weird behavior towards the Omega. Knowing how intense and strong his ruts had gotten since he came back after being dipped in the Lazarus pits, Jason didn't want to take the chance of hurting anyone, especially the Omega he'd come to care for deeply.
Not that Y/N knew this.
And now, it was getting harder and harder to fight against the urge to do just that. To ignore his basic and natural instincts.
He figured it to be a side effect of the Lazarus pits, seeing as how other parts of his body and mind had become more enhanced after this little swim. It'd make sense that it would also affect his mating cycle, he just didn't think it would make them this intense and impossible to deal with.
As time passed and he went through his rut cycles, they slowly got more intense. He was way more aggressive than he was normally, he'd start to experience pain and literal freaking blue balls if he didn't get his knot out in enough time, and worst of all, his ruts were lasting longer and starting to occur more frequently. They used to come every 2 months, maybe one and a half if he was just unlucky. Now, they were damn near coming every month or few weeks.
And the last time he actually had someone with him through his rut, because of increased aggressiveness which made him much more brutal and rough than normal (and that was saying something), he nearly put that Omega in the hospital. Of course, they were understanding and didn't hold it against him, but he didn't want to risk hurting anyone else.
He started ignoring his ruts and locking himself away in his apartment. He'd buy a bunch of sex toys and other stuff that would help ease the pain and tension and would just tough it out until his rut was over, not caring that the pain would only get worse the longer he ignored his instincts.
"Augh," Jason moaned, the pain starting to come back and his arousal rising again.
He reached his hand down, his fingers wrapping around his large, throbbing, and rock-hard cock, his thumb rubbing the tip and smearing the precum leaking out of the slit. The Alpha groaned, his hips thrusting up into his hand, the movements rough and uncoordinated.
This is what it had been for the past almost week. Him alone in his apartment with nothing but his hand, rut-specific fleshlights that ended up torn apart after only a couple of uses because of his ridiculously enlarged knot, and an ever-consistent raging hard-on.
And the pain. Don't forget the pain.
The pain was the worst part. The need and desire to mate and breed an Omega was strong, but the physical and mental pain his body would be in due to not giving into those desires was the absolute fucking worst.
"Fuck, ugh," Jason groaned, his fist picking up speed.
His eyes closed the image of a beautiful and naked Omega underneath him, moaning his name and begging him to fuck him or her. The smell of their scent was the sweetest aroma he'd ever experienced, and their body was the softest and smoothest thing he'd ever touched.
While his hand furiously stroked up and down, so close to the edge but just not able to reach it, he could feel his anger growing more the longer it took for him to reach his release. Then, as he was imagining the body of some random Omega that was on top of him, that blurred image where their face should be suddenly had a face.
Y/N's face.
"Oh fuck Jason!"  Y/N screamed in his head, his hands pressing against the vigilante's hard chest while he bit his lips in painful pleasure as he bounced up and down on his dick.
A guttural sound left his throat, his hips thrusting up into his hand faster and harder as he imagined the smaller male on top of him, moaning and begging the Alpha to knot him, his body writhing in pleasure. His sweaty brown skin glistened in the light from the moon outside as his body moved up and down with the rattling bed from the force of Jason's thrusts inside him.
"Y/N, fu-fuck, baby, yes," Jason groaned, his body moving up and down as the imaginary Y/N bounced his body up and down the Alpha's massive cock, taking his knot so beautifully.
"Shit," the Alpha cursed, his hand gripping his cock tighter, his palm rubbing the head, a growl leaving his mouth.
He thrust into his hand even harder, his sore and throbbing cock leaking more and more pre-cum as he imagined Y/N screaming out on top of him, begging for his knot.
"Fuck, Jason, knot me! Please, I need it. Give me your knot!"
"I'm gonna, baby. Gonna knot you, give you my knot," Jason answered, his mind still deep in his fantasy.
Before he knew it, Jason had blown one of the biggest and most satisfying loads he's had this entire rut, possibly his entire life. His hips arched off the bed with his hand milking his dick for every drop of cum his balls could produce.
"Shit," Jason groaned, his hips falling back to the bed and his chest heaving up and down.
His heart was pounding, and his body was still covered in a thick layer of sweat, but the pain was subsiding. Not completely, but enough for the Alpha to at least catch his breath. His head was fuzzy, and his vision was blurry, but he was slowly coming back to reality.
"Fuck, I'm a goddamn mess."
Truthfully, this wasn't the first time this had happened. The Alpha had known for a long time that his feelings towards the Omega weren't strictly platonic. Hell, he'd immediately found the guy attractive since the first time he met him, but he had no idea when his feelings began developing into something deeper and more serious.
Even then, it wasn't like Jason was the best person to have a healthy relationship with. He wasn't exactly a people person, and he wasn't the best when it came to expressing his emotions. Plus, the fact that he had a very dangerous career choice didn't help.
But, despite all of that, Y/N was the first person he'd truly felt comfortable with in a very long time outside of Roy, and not just because he was a new Omega in the city who would always patch him up. Don't ask him why, but sometimes it was easy to talk to a complete stranger.
Plus, after getting to know him, Jason became protective of the Omega, wanting to keep him safe.
When they met, Y/N was a clueless and innocent little Omega who had no business being out at such a late hour, especially in Gotham. Jason couldn't have that. So, he made sure to check in on him regularly to make sure no harm had come to him, which didn't help with the growing attraction he was feeling towards him.
It also didn't help that Y/N and he seemed to banter back and forth and act like a couple, flirty undertones and all. Whenever they'd hang out outside of the Omega's apartment, people always assumed they were together. And it wasn't like Jason would mind that. Not at all. He just didn't know if Y/N would mind it.
He'd admit, there was a time when he thought about pursuing a romantic relationship with the Omega, but ultimately decided against it. Jason didn't think he deserved the happiness and warmth the smaller male brought him.
So, he chose to content himself with the friendship he had with him, not wanting to ruin one of the only good things he had in his life.
Now, however, the Alpha was beginning to reconsider.
Not even a few minutes went by before Jason felt his dick rising to attention again, his rut coming back with an even more demanding vengeance.
"Dammit, not again," Jason cursed, sitting up.
The pain was starting to come back, and his dick was already hardening again, the head a deep red and aching with need. His suppressants virtually did nothing for him anymore aside from giving him close to an hour of relief.
And he could feel that if he didn't knot someone soon and properly let his rut play out, he was going to kill someone. He'd already destroyed most of his apartment.
"I'm so fucked."
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"Hey, Dick. Any word on Jason?" Y/N asked, leaning his elbows on the counter as he tried to resist biting his nails while holding the phone to his ear.
He'd become more of a nervous wreck the longer he didn't hear from Jason. He figured everything would be fine, thinking that Jason was just on a mission and couldn't respond, but when Bruce reached out to him to see if he knew where his adoptive son had been, the Omega's anxiety skyrocketed.
"No, sorry. We haven't heard anything from him. We checked his safehouse and his apartment and didn't find anything but we haven't stopped looking. How are you doing?"
Y/N ignored the feeling that Dick was holding back something, not telling him the entire truth. But, he was too worried to care.
"Yeah, I'm doing okay. Just a little stressed," the Omega replied.
"You're not the only one. We're all worried about him. This isn't the first time he's gone missing, and the fact that no one has seen him or heard anything from him is making us all anxious," Dick explained.
"I understand. If you guys need any help, just let me know," Y/N told him.
"Thanks, Y/N. We'll call if we need you. Just stay safe and relax, alright? Don't worry, I'm sure he'll turn up. He always does."
"Okay. Bye, Dick."
Y/N hung up the phone after hearing Dick say his goodbyes as well before starting to pace back and forth in his apartment. It'd been a week since the Omega last saw Jason.
Normally, he'd be completely fine, knowing Jason was probably doing some vigilante business and didn't want him getting involved. But, this was different.
The way Jason left his apartment, looking like he was sick or coming down with something, the fact that he hadn't heard from him, or anyone in his family for that matter, and the fact that Dick didn't seem like he was telling him the entire truth had the Omega in a near panic.
"Jason, I swear the next time I fucking see you," the Omega cursed.
"You'll do what, sweetheart?"
"Augh!"
Y/N screamed, jumping back and tripping over the corner of the couch, falling onto his back with his feet landing on the cushions in a very sitcom-like manner. The sudden voice nearly gave him a heart attack, and his brain was short-circuiting, unable to think straight.
When he looked up, he saw Jason standing in his balcony doorway, his frame taking up the entire space, and a smirk on his face. A smirk that he had very much missed seeing, but for right now, the mushy feeling stuff was going to have to wait as he had about a week's worth of anxiety, worries, and fury to unleash on him.
"Miss me?"
"You asshole! What the hell?!" Y/N yelled, grabbing the closest thing to him, a pillow, and throwing it at him before grabbing his shoe and running over to beat him with it, "Where the hell have you been?! I haven't heard from you in a week and no one in your family has either, and you show up here asking if I miss you?! You fucking wish!"
"Whoa, okay. Calm down," Jason chuckled, stepping forward and grabbing the Omega's wrist.
"Don't tell me to calm down, you idiot," Y/N hissed, trying and failing to remove his arm from the Alpha's grasp, his grip like iron. He forgot how much he missed Jason's strong grip.
Get those dirty thoughts out of your head.
Y/N continued to beat him with his sandal until he heard a faint growl and felt himself being tackled roughly back onto the couch, the air leaving his lungs.
"Ahh," Y/N breathed, his eyes squeezing shut from the impact.
"Enough, Y/N," Jason growled, his tone low and husky, sending a shiver through the Omega's body. His larger body and hands effectively had him pinned down, the smell of his pheromones and his natural scent filling his nose.
"Uh, uh, mister! You don't get to be bossy Alpha after you've had me and everyone else worried sick for almost a week, you hear me? I oughta-"
Y/N was cut off as the Alpha leaned forward, his nose nuzzling against the skin of his neck and breathing deeply, inhaling his scent. The sudden closeness had the Omega's mind reeling, his hands instinctively gripping the Alpha's muscular arms.
"Uh- I... I oughta– Whoa, um...what are you doing?" Y/N stuttered, his heart pounding in his chest.
"God, you smell amazing," Jason purred, his voice a low rumble.
"Excuse me?"
"Your scent, it's amazing," Jason said, his teeth grazing the skin of the Omega's throat, his tongue licking a stripe across the pulse point.
Y/N let out a surprise gasp, his hands gripping the vigilante's biceps as the Alpha licked and kissed at his neck, breathing his scent in. While he was very shocked by this behavior and was still worried about him, he couldn't deny the extreme arousal he was feeling.
Jason was a big guy, not just height-wise but in terms of muscle mass and body size. So, the fact that he had him pressed underneath him on his couch, his large hands roaming his body, his mouth and nose kissing and sniffing at his neck was causing him a little issue with his underwear and the slick slowly starting to coat it.
"J-Jason, what are you doing?" Y/N breathed.
"I wanna fuck you," Jason said bluntly, pulling his head away from the Omega's neck and looking down at him, a feral look in his eyes.
"What?"
"I wanna fuck you, breed you. Need you," Jason growled, his hips grinding down onto the smaller males, the friction and the pressure of the Alpha's cock rubbing against his own Omega genitals pulling another gasp from him.
Then, a scent caught his nose. Jason's scent...
Y/N could smell the pheromones radiating off the Alpha, the scent of wood burning in a fire, leather, and hints of cinnamon filling his nose. He didn't even realize his hands were now pressed against the broad chest of the Alpha until he felt the toned muscles underneath his shirt.
"You're in your rut, aren't you?" Y/N realized.
Jason didn't make a sound, but if the way his head moved up and down as he ground himself into the Omega while still attacking his neck and scent glands, that was confirmation enough. He ran down Y/N's body, moving to grip his waist so he could force him to move back against him.
"Fuck, why didn't you tell me?"
"Didn't wanna hurt you," Jason grunted, his nose pressing into the crook of the Omega's neck and breathing deeply, his hands moving lower and gripping his thighs.
"Oh, Jason," Y/N gasped, the name slipping out as he felt the Alpha's large, rough hands move underneath his shirt, caressing his stomach and sides, "Come on, we gotta get you something to help you calm down."
"Can't wait. Need you now," Jason groaned, his hips thrusting faster.
"Jason, you can't. Not down here. Someone could see through the balcony door," Y/N argued, though the protest was weak as the Omega was losing the fight against his own arousal.
That was apparently enough to get the Alpha to see reason as he paused his movements over the Omega, but only for a moment.
"Fine, have it your way," Jason grumbled, standing up from the couch, grabbing the Omega, lifting him into his arms, and throwing him over his shoulder, his hand slapping his ass, the sting shooting straight to his core, "Let's go."
"H-Hey! Jason! Would you hold on for a second, you damn brute," Y/N cried, his arms and legs flailing.
Jason didn't listen, walking towards Y/N's bedroom instead of the bathroom where Y/N intended for them to go, not paying attention to the Omega's squirming and his hand slapping his ass again, pulling a yelp from the Omega.
It wasn't a long walk until Jason reached the Omega's bedroom and threw him on the bed, the smaller male bouncing as he landed, almost untying itself from the force.
"Shit, Jay," Y/N huffed, the air getting knocked out of him.
"Take your clothes off," Jason ordered, his voice deep and gruff.
"I'm sorry, what?" Y/N asked, not expecting that order.
"Take. Your. Clothes. Off," Jason repeated, his hands working on removing his jacket and his shirt.
Y/N could feel the small gush of slickness that came out of him as the Alpha removed his clothes, revealing his incredibly toned and muscular body, his abs rippling as his arms lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere in the room. Y/N could see the sizable print of the Alpha's dick bulging in his pants, making him gulp.
"Jason, can we pause for like two seconds and talk about this," Y/N started, his eyes wide and staring at the man's naked torso, "We can't just-"
"Y/N, take your clothes off, or I'll do it myself," Jason growled, his eyes staring intensely at the Omega, the feral look and the slight glow of his green irises made the Omega shudder.
"You wouldn't dare," Y/N challenged.
"Try me."
Before Y/N could argue or say anything, the Alpha was on top of him, his fingers gripping his shirt and tearing the fabric, a rip echoing through the room. While Y/N was still shocked by the surprise move, he grabbed the ripped shirt and used it to tie the Omega's hands together, keeping him from pushing him away.
"Jason, what the absolute fuck?" Y/N asked, trying and failing to break free of the Alpha's restraints, his wrists and forearms tied tightly together, the shirt acting as a makeshift rope.
Any other person and Y/N would've been able to break out of that makeshift bondage before they could even blink. Jason on the other hand was trained by Batman. He'd doubt if he could get out of this shit by the time the sun came up.
"What? It's not like you're not gonna throw it out anyway," Jason answered, not stopping his movement as he removed the rest of the Omega's clothes, ripping his pants off and leaving him in just his underwear.
"You're a real piece of work, you know that, you bastard?" Y/N spat, not liking the feeling of him not being in control in this situation.
"So I've been told. Now, are you gonna be good and do what I tell you, or are you gonna fight me the whole time?" Jason asked, leaning over the Omega.
"You've got a lotta nerve coming in here and bossing me around, you little shit, especially after you ghosted and ignored me all this week," Y/N spat, glaring up at the Alpha.
"Yeah, I'll apologize for that later," Jason said, leaning his face down and burying his nose into the crook of the Omega's neck.
"You bet your ass you will. And, stop smelling me," Y/N protested, trying to pull his neck away.
"Shut up, I'm trying to focus," Jason grunted, his teeth biting the skin of the Omega's throat.
"Not until you explain what the hell is going on with you," Y/N responded his neck closing, preventing the Alpha from more access to his skin.
Jason's lips curled up into a snarl, the green in his eyes flashing before his tongue darted out, licking a stripe across the Omega's closed neck, the action pulling a gasp from him.
"Dammit, Y/N, just shut the fuck up and let me think," Jason growled, his hand running along the side of the Omega's body, his nails grazing the skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
"Think?! Think about what, you big oaf? How you came in here after disappearing on me for a week and expecting me to just let you fuck me because you're in your rut? Or, how you're gonna get yourself arrested when someone hears the neighbors getting dicked down?" Y/N replied, trying and failing to ignore the shivers that were going down his spine.
"Would you stop worrying about stupid shit and focus on me," Jason demanded, his hand gripping the Omega's jaw, turning his head and forcing him to look at him, his eyes shining in the dim light of the room, "I've gone through a week of pure fucking hell, and I'm not about to have you ruin the one relief I have right now."
"Relief?! You're lucky you were smart enough to restrain me because if you didn't, I'd be tearing your ass a new one right now," Y/N sneered, his anger rising.
"Good luck with that," Jason chuckled, his knee rubbing the inside of the Omega's thigh.
"Don't touch me, you jerk," Y/N said, trying to close his legs.
"Don't fight me, Y/N," Jason growled, his nails digging into the skin of the smaller male's jaw, his teeth clenching, "I've been locked in my apartment for almost a week, jerking my dick and using a pocket pussy, and none of it's been satisfying. If you keep fighting me, I'm not gonna be so nice."
"You've been masturbating for a week and nothing is helping?" Y/N questioned, his eyes wide.
"It's not enough," Jason answered, his nose nuzzling the crook of the Omega's neck, his teeth grazing the skin, his hot breath hitting his pulse point, "Nothing is enough."
Y/N took a moment to pause, assessing everything around him and giving his anger and attitude a few seconds to simmer down before this got more out of control than it needed to. Jason never acted this aggressively towards him, and at first, he thought it was because he was rutting. But, thinking of some of his other friends who were Alphas, he never remembered them going this far, acting like a completely different person who didn't care about the other person's wishes. And he knew that was far from the Alpha in front of him and his regular behavior.
As far as he could ever think, Jason would never do anything to hurt Y/N or push him into something he didn't want to do. He could be a bit protective at times, not wanting the Omega to get hurt or come into contact with any danger. And, he could also be a bit of a flirt when he was comfortable, constantly teasing him and saying suggestive comments. But, the fact that he was currently holding him down and threatening him, even being in his rut was concerning.
"Jason, when was the last time you had a rut?"
"Almost a month ago," Jason murmured, nuzzling his face against the jaw and neck, making his way down to his chest while his hand softly caressed his body.
"And did you have someone to help you through it?" Y/N asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"No," Jason replied.
"Why not? Didn't you have anyone else who could help you through it?" Y/N probed further.
"Didn't want to risk it with anyone. So, I dealt with it on my own," Jason explained, his teeth biting and sucking the skin of the Omega's collarbone, leaving small hickeys.
"And how long have you been dealing with it on your own?"
There was a moment of silence as Y/N felt the kisses and bites to his skin pause for a second. Then, he heard a soft grunt, and the kisses and bites continued.
"How long, Jason?" Y/N pressed.
"A while."
"Be more specific."
"I don't fucking know, alright? Almost 3 years, maybe more," Jason snapped, his nails suddenly digging into the flesh of the Omega's sides, pulling him against the Alpha.
"Jason! Three years?! Do you know how dangerous that is?" Y/N cried, looking at the Alpha with wide eyes.
"Of course I do, idiot. But, it's not like there are many options for an Alpha vigilante who's supposed to be dead," Jason grumbled, his tone laced with a hint of sadness.
"Then, why didn't you ask Bruce for help? Couldn't he have gotten one of his doctor friends to prescribe you some Feromexin or Feromine-X to help with the ruts?" Y/N argued, not understanding the Alpha's decision.
Jason raised an eyebrow at the Omega's question, feeling a spike of anger at the implication of his words.
"How do you know about the suppressants for Alphas? You been fucking another Alpha or something, sweetheart?" Jason growled, the slight tint of green in his eyes seemingly flaring up.
"No, dumbass. I have friends and family who are Alphas, and I did some research on the internet," Y/N answered, not liking the tone the Alpha was using.
"Why were you doing research, huh?" Jason hummed, his grip on the Omega's waist loosening, his hands moving to grab the Omega's ass, his fingers kneading the cheeks, a moan escaping the Omega's mouth, "Did you find something you liked, baby?"
"Jason, for the love of God, focus damnit! Answer my question," Y/N almost snapped, which was very unlike him.
"Oh, my fucking god. I don't know, okay! They don't work for me anymore," Jason yelled, his voice rising.
"What do you mean they don't work for you anymore? What did you take?"
"Feromine-X. And, I mean, they've just stopped working. After I was resurrected, I guess, my ruts have just gotten stronger, and the suppressants don't do shit for me," Jason explained, his voice becoming more agitated.
"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you go to Bruce for help? Or Dick, or Alfred, or anyone?"
"Because I don't want their damn pity, okay. It's bad enough I'm the 'dead Robin', but now I can't even handle my ruts like a normal Alpha and have to depend on everyone else for help. I don't want others having to take care of me, and I especially don't need it," Jason growled, his hands gripping the Omega's thighs, his nails digging into the skin, his teeth clenching as his anger rose.
"But, I like taking care of you," Y/N murmured.
Jason's gaze immediately softened, his eyes staring at the Omega's, his lips falling open.
"What?"
"I like taking care of you. Whenever you'd come to me, needing stitches or painkillers, or when you'd just show up and we'd hang out, I didn't mind. I always wanted to help. I like spending time with you, and I wanted to make sure you're okay and safe. You could've come to me for help if this was really affecting you so badly," Y/N answered.
"Y/N, I can't ask you to do that. This isn't your responsibility," Jason said, his grip on the Omega's wrists and his thighs loosening.
"Um, considering the way you kind of barged in here, basically abducted me to my room and how I'm sitting here tied up by the tattered remains of my own shirt, I'd kinda say you basically almost made it my responsibility so...I mean, I'm just saying," Y/N said.
Jason stared at him for a moment before chuckling, his shoulders shaking.
"Why do you always have to go and make me feel like an idiot?" Jason laughed, his hands gently rubbing the Omega's thighs.
"Because it's what I do best," Y/N teased, a small smile coming to his lips.
"God, I missed you," Jason said, his arms wrapping around the Omega and his face burying itself in the crook of his neck.
"Missed you too, pasty," Y/N cooed, his hands rubbing the Alpha's back.
"Why you gotta bring my skin color into this again," Jason grumbled, his fingers pinching at the Omega's side in retaliation.
"Hey, don't take it out on my melanin, white boy," Y/N giggled, squirming underneath him.
"You're such a brat," Jason growled, his teeth nipping at the Omega's throat.
"And you're a big jerk."
"I'll give you a big jerk," Jason muttered, his hips grinding against the Omega's, his cock pressing against the Omega's clothed and wet privates, "So, you still willing to help me through my rut?"
"Hmm, well, you're not exactly my type of white boy," Y/N joked, pretending to scan the Alpha up and down.
Jason gave him a warning growl, his teeth giving a harsh bite to the Omega's shoulder.
"Fuck, okay, yes, I'll help," Y/N whimpered, feeling his slick still wetting his underwear and now his sheets under him.
"That's what I thought," Jason smirked, his hands gripping the Omega's waist and bringing him into his grasp, his face diving back into the crook of his neck.
"Ah! On one condition, though," Y/N conceded.
Jason paused with an agitated huff, his aggressiveness returning slowly as he felt himself finally getting closer to getting what his body was craving, "Name it."
"You tell me when you're in trouble, and you don't keep things from me. You keep me in the loop and let me take care of you when needed," Y/N told him, his eyes serious.
"Fine. But, that goes both ways. You're not allowed to hide things from me, and you can't keep shit from me. Understand, brat?" Jason negotiated.
"Yes, massa," Y/N teased, leaning up and nuzzling the Alpha's cheek, a purr rumbling in his throat.
"Smartass. Now, can we please fuck?" Jason asked, his patience growing thin.
"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Just remember, be gentle, okay," Y/N chuckled.
"Hah, after calling me white boy and massa? No, no. You deserve whatever you're gonna get," Jason grinned, his hands slipping between the Omega's thighs, spreading them, and rubbing the soaked spot of his underwear.
"Ah fuck. Well, can you at least untie me?" Y/N moaned, his head falling back onto the bed, his legs twitching.
"Nah, I kind of like having you helpless and unable to fight back," Jason smirked, his teeth biting the hem of the Omega's underwear and ripping it off him, leaving him bare.
"Asshole."
"But, you still love me," Jason cooed, his hand caressing the Omega's body.
"Maybe a little," Y/N admitted, his heart rate speeding up.
"Good. Now, shut up and don't move," Jason ordered.
Jason pressed his face between the Omega's legs, getting a full whiff of the natural scent that came off him, a deep, sweet but light musky scent. His tongue darted out, licking a stripe along the folds of the Omega's opening, the taste of his slick on his tongue making him groan.
Y/N moaned and tensed up, his hands moving up to grip the pillow behind him. He'd had sex plenty of times, but this was different. The number of times Y/N had woken up from a wet dream that detailed this kind of moment between him and the vigilante was countless, and the fact that it was now becoming a reality was adding to the euphoric feelings starting to overwhelm his mind and body
Jason's tongue circled around the Omega's entrance, teasing him. He felt a wave of possessiveness come over him as his hands grabbed beneath the bend of the smaller man's knees to push his legs up, further exposing his shiny. slick-covered hole to him.
Pressing his nose against the entrance again, he took a small whiff before attaching his lips to the wet organ and pushing his tongue inside. Both men released filthy noises as Jason all but devoured the smaller man in front of him, inside and out.
"Jason, fuck!" Y/N cursed, his hands flying down and his fingers tangling in the Alpha's hair.
Jason growled, his hand reaching up and grabbing the smaller man's wrists from his hair, pinning them down against his stomach. He pulled away to look at the Omega through the gap between his spread thighs.
"I told you to stay still," Jason growled.
"Sorry, sorry. I'll be good, promise," Y/N whimpered, his chest heaving.
"You better," Jason warned, his grip tightening around the Omega's wrist before releasing and returning to his task, "Keep these here."
Jason's tongue plunged back into the Omega's core, his mouth sucking and slurping at the slick and its addictive taste. He continued eating out the sensitive and twitching hole, his tongue grazing across the hot walls and his pleasure crux.
He moved his hand up to where he was lapping at the hole, slick dripping from his chin as he prodded a finger around the entrance before slowly pushing the digit inside. Y/N squirmed at the tickling sensation while doing his best to remain still, even though another side of him desperately wanted to misbehave and poke at the Alpha's patience.
Jason pushed his finger inside, the wet muscle coating his finger and making it easy for him to press his middle finger inside. His tongue licked around his finger as he roughly pumped it in and out, barely giving any time for him to adjust before adding a second finger.
"Jason, oh, shit. Wait, wait, slow down," Y/N panted, his head tossing and turning, his fingers pulling at his own hair.
Jason ignored his pleas, his fingers stretching and curling inside the Omega, scissoring and opening him up. Y/N's whimpers and cries were going straight to his dick, the sound music to his ears.
"Shit, ah fuck! Jason, you're going too fast."
Y/N cried out as he felt a third finger enter him, the stretch burning slightly. Jason continued his movements, moving his mouth away completely as he opted to watch the Omega squirm on his fingers with a prideful look.
"Stop looking at me like that," Y/N whined, his face blushing red as he unconsciously tried to close his legs which did not go unnoticed by the vigilante. He didn't take kindly to the Omega giving him orders, curling his fingers inside and delivering some harsh movements that managed to hit his pleasure spot, causing him to cry out.
"I'll look at you any way I want to," Jason said, his eyes roaming the Omega's body before he suddenly paused his movements.
Y/N looked up in confusion before gasping at the suddenly empty feeling, Jason removing his fingers before grabbing at his still-tied wrists. He looked up to the Alpha who was staring down at him with an intense look that had him nervously fidgeting on the bed.
"Wanna keep acting like a brat, fine. I'll treat you like one then," Jason declared.
The vigilante untied the tattered shirts from around Y/N's arms, giving him only a split second of freedom before he flipped him over roughly, placing a harsh slap on his bottom that had him crying out. He grabbed the smaller male's arms again, this time folding them behind his back and tying the shirt around them in a tight hold while the Omega softly whimpered against the sheets from the rough manhandling.
He could feel his hole still dripping as he listened to the sounds of zippers and clothes rustling, his anticipation and anxiety rising.
"Jason, what are you–"
"Quiet," Jason ordered, his voice low.
"But-"
"I said, quiet dammit," Jason repeated, his hand landing another slap on his ass, the sting shooting straight through his spine.
Y/N gasped at the sting, doing his best to hold back the tears starting to pool in his eyes before he felt the Alpha grabbing him and pulling him off the bed, placing him on his knees on the floor in front of him.
Jason stood before him in his full naked glory, the sight causing his mouth to water. He wasn't a stranger to seeing the Alpha's body, considering he'd spent a considerable amount of time patching up his various wounds multiple nights in a row. But, this was the first time he'd been able to see his whole body. And, was it a sight to behold.
Jason was a big man, and his dick was no exception.
The enlarged organ definitely looked like it could do some damage, with a considerable length and a girth that had his insides fluttering in anticipation or fear. Possibly both. Actually, very likely it was both.
It was a wonder how the Alpha was able to hide that thing, especially underneath his skin-tight vigilante suit, or how anyone could handle having him inside. He knew Alphas' cocks tended to grow in size during ruts, but this was something else.
"Oh fuck–" Y/N muttered, his arousal spiking which the rutting Alpha picked up on if the jump in his throbbing dick was any indication.
"Open your mouth," Jason ordered, his hands running through the Omega's hair.
"Fuck, Jason. I don't think–"
"Did I ask what you think or did I tell you to open your mouth?" Jason gripped the Omega's hair that was now uncovered from the durag slipping off while Jason fingered him.
He pulled the Omega's head back, before grabbing his penis with his other hand, tapping it against the Omega's mouth, smearing the leaking pre-cum over his lips.
"I said, open up," Jason said, the tone in his voice signaling this was the Omega's last chance before the Alpha did it for him.
Y/N hesitated for a moment, looking up at the Alpha. He prayed that his past few experiences would be able to match up to this, but he didn't have much time to prepare himself before Jason took it upon himself to force the Omega's mouth open, giving the cockhead the opening it needed to enter the wet cavern.
"Fucking little brat, clearly we need to work on your ability to listen to orders," Jason grunted, his hips jerking forward and his dick pushing deeper into the Omega's mouth.
Y/N let out a muffled cry, his hands twitching and his fingers gripping his forearm, trying his hardest to ignore the tears that were now freely streaming down his face. Jason gave a few experimental thrusts while his hands held the Omega's head still, the tip of his penis already pressing against the back of his throat.
The Omega could feel how much his lips were stretched from just the little few inches he had inside. It was almost a wonder how his jaw wasn't aching. But, that wasn't a luxury he had as the Alpha started to pick up the pace, the force of his thrusts pushing more of his cock down the Omega's throat.
Y/N's eyes widened, his vision blurring from the tears, and his eyes rolling back into his skull, his mind focusing only on the thick cock currently fucking his throat and the lack of air entering his lungs. He could feel the pressure and pain in his jaw increasing, his mouth being used like a fleshlight for the Alpha's pleasure.
Jason's animalistic grunts along with Y/N's choking and gagging noise filled up the room as the vigilante had his way with the smaller man. Y/N's instincts were to try and push back against the muscular hips thrusting into his mouth, but, once again the Alpha was a few steps ahead of him as his arms struggled in their binds behind his back, leaving him no other choice but to sit there and receive the aggressive and brutal treatment.
Jason was losing himself in the pleasure, the Omega's tight and wet mouth and throat feeling heavenly around his cock. He'd been dreaming about this for so long, and he wasn't going to hold back.
After a week of hell alone in his room with his hand and cheap fleshlights, he was finally getting the relief he needed. Now, all that was left was for him to get his knot inside the Omega and truly relieve his pain.
The Alpha looked over into the large mirror the Omega kept in his room, watching the bound smaller man sitting on his knees for his body, helpless against the Alpha's stronghold and cock. His Alpha pride was skyrocketing through the roof.
After just a few more minutes, he removed his dick from the Omega's mouth, the puffy, swollen red state of his lips leaving a satisfied and smug smirk on the Alpha. He leaned down and grabbed the Omega under his shoulder before throwing and slamming him down on the bed, forcing his legs apart again.
Y/N let out a choked gasp as the wind was knocked out of him. His face was a mess, with tear tracks running down his face, his jaw aching from the rough mouth-fucking he just received.
He heard the Alpha rummaging through the bedside table, his hands blindly searching the contents before finding the packet he was looking for, before suddenly giving an accusing look.
"Why do you have a knot condom?" Jason asked, his voice gruff.
Y/N recognized the possessive and slightly angry look that was common in all Alphas, cursing on the inside of his head. He'd forgotten that was in his nightstand.
"Um...that's, uh, a funny story," Y/N chuckled nervously, his heart rate speeding up.
"You fucked another Alpha during his rut?" Jason growled.
"Yes, but it was with one of my past flings," Y/N admitted with a nervous tone, "We were never serious, but he asked me to help and I agreed."
It was silent for a moment as the vigilante stared him down, his gaze dark and dangerous, his eyes narrowed on the Omega. Y/N's mind raced, hoping the Alpha wouldn't get too angry, knowing how much their ruts could drive up their territorial attitudes.
"How many times?"
"Huh?" Y/N replied, confused.
"How many times did you let him knot you," Jason repeated his grip on the condom's package tightening.
"I don't know. It was a rut! How am I supposed to remember how many times we did it," Y/N responded, his own irritation starting to grow.
"Were they his condoms or did you buy them?" Jason questioned, his eyes narrowing.
"His. I made him buy extra in case we ran out."
Jason was silent for another moment, taking another look at the open drawer before turning back to Y/N with a daunting expression.
"This is the only one left, so it looks like you went at it a few times. Guess that means I've got a lot of work cut out for me," Jason tore the package open and slipped the latex rubber over his penis, "And since it's the last one and only one you have, well, I hope you're suppressants have the added birth control," He said before getting on the bed and pulling the Omega towards him by his legs.
"Jason, you better be fucking joking. You didn't bring any extra condoms?" Y/N demanded, his eyes widening.
"Most don't fit me anymore since my dick grew a little more, let's hope this one is up for the job," Jason smirked while positioning himself at the Omega's entrance.
"Jason Peter Todd, I fucking swear if you knock me up–"
"Ah, quit your whining," Jason interrupted, pushing the head of his dick against the Omega's fluttering hole, the slick already coating the covered organ, "It's not like we don't have other options. Accidents happen all the time."
"Screw you, asshole," Y/N groaned, his teeth clenched.
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm gonna do so much more than that," Jason grinned, his hands gripping the Omega's waist and his hips shoving forward.
Y/N cried out, his arms straining and his legs tensing as his body flailed underneath the Alpha's massive frame from the intense stretching he felt as his hole and walls tried to adjust and push out the intruding cock. His body arched into Jason's chest as the Alpha's dark head of hair nudged its way into the Omega's neck, his lips kissing at the juncture between his shoulder and neck.
Jason wasn't that quiet or still either, his body shaking and his breath stuttering from the euphoric feeling of the Omega's hot, tight walls wrapped around his cock. Even through the rubber, the wet heat around him had him desperately wanting to rip the condom off so he could feel the full flesh surrounding him.
"Shit, you're so fucking tight. Gonna ruin you for anyone else," Jason growled, his hips slowly pushing more into the Omega's while biting and sucking the sensitive skin.
"Ah, ah, J-Jason, wait," Y/N gasped, his head tossed back, his chest heaving, his body squirming from the uncomfortable and painful stretch.
"Fuck, just shut up," Jason grumbled, his hands wrapping around the Omega's neck and gripping his hair while moving to press his lips against Y/N's in a rough kiss.
He pushed himself more into the Omega, the latex-covered tip of his cock grazing past the Y/N's prostate as he whimpered and cried into the kiss, his feet pressing into the bed as the intense feeling of his body stretching around the Alpha started to overwhelm him.
Whoever once tried to say the big and massive guys had small penises clearly had not met Jason before, or just didn't understand body proportions and anatomy. Either way, the throbbing and large organ currently trying to park itself inside the Omega was a strong testament to how wrong they were.
There was no possible way Y/N was going to be able to walk properly on his own legs after this. Jason was going to have to carry him for the next few days, which judging by earlier, he probably wouldn't have any issues with it.
"Oh god, fuck. You're so big, I can't," Y/N whined, his back arching as his arms and hands struggled against the binds.
"So I've been told," Jason whispered, his lips kissing the side of the Omega's head, "Am I bigger than him? Better?"
"Fuck yes," Y/N moaned, his eyes squeezing shut.
Jason held a cocky grin at this, feeling himself getting closer to bottoming out inside the Omega, "Good, 'cause you're not letting him or anyone else near you again. This belongs to me," He growled, flexing his dick inside the Omega pulling another whine from the smaller male.
"Ah, ah, no. Please, please," Y/N pleaded, his toes curling.
"Say it," Jason growled in his ear, jerking the hold he still had around his neck and in his hair.
"Belongs to you. No one else's, only you." Y/N babbled, his body twitching.
"Good boy," Jason cooed, his lips attaching themselves to the Omega's neck and sucking a hickey.
When Jason fully bottomed out, he paused his movements, his forehead resting against the Omega's shoulder. He took a deep breath, the scent of the Omega's sweat and natural pheromones overwhelming him.
Both had a light sheen of sweat over their bodies, Jason's from his spiking body temperatures and Y/N from the Alpha's body over him and the slight physical exertion he was going through. The Alpha's breathing was harsh, and his grip on the Omega tightened as he tried to keep himself in control.
Before long, Jason was pulling himself out, leaving just the tip inside before thrusting back in, earning a cry from the Omega beneath him.
"No, stop! Just, ah, give me a second," Y/N begged, his eyes shut tightly, his nails scratching and digging into the palms of his hands.
"Shut up," Jason growled, his nose nuzzling the crook of the Omega's neck.
The Alpha continued his movements, only increasing his pace and intensity, his hands squeezing around the Omega's neck as his hips snapped into him. Jason's grunts and Y/N's moans and cries filled the room, along with the sound of skin slapping against each other and the rattling of Y/N's bed frame.
Jason stared into Y/N's eyes with an intense focus as he pounded into him, the sight of the Omega's tear-stained face and pouty red lips increasing his drive even more. They hadn't been fucking more than five minutes, yet Y/N looked like his soul was ready to depart his body.
Jason knew his size and stamina could be a lot to take in, and the fact that Y/N was already a mess had him feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction. His eyes broke their hold with Y/N's raking down the rest of the Omega's body.
The Omega's smaller pecs were moving up and down with his body as Jason pressed more into him. He could tell the Omega was getting antsy by not being able to move his arms while being fucked within an inch of his life, adding even more to the Alpha's dominant ego.
A few minutes passed as Jason continuously rutted into the Omega, his fingers pressing into the Omega's neck more, slowly taking away his breath, which put the Alpha on a power high. After another few seconds, he paused his movements, taking a moment to catch his breath and release his hold so that the Omega could also have the chance to breathe in new air while pulling himself out.
"Turn your ass over," Jason instructed with a pat to the Omega's thigh.
"Geez, can you give me a sec," Y/N wheezed, his head tossing from side to side.
"Nope." Jason grabbed him by his waist and flipped him onto his stomach, forcing him on his hands and knees to present himself before the Alpha.
"Asswipe," Y/N mumbled into the sheets.
The Omega yelped when he received another slap on his sore ass, loud and sharp, the sting and burn shooting through his entire body.
"What was that?" Jason asked.
"Nothing," Y/N muttered, his voice low.
"That's what I thought," Jason said, his finger brushing down the curve of the Omega's spine, before positioning himself at the Omega's hole and showing himself back inside.
Y/N's face fell onto the bed with a scream at the force, the strength leaving his body as he moaned sheets as Jason pounded him from behind. His hole was spasming around the Alpha's cock, preparing itself for the inevitable knot that was going to enter into him soon.
Jason grabbed his ass cheeks, spreading them so he could better see his cock entering in and out of the Omega's wet and stretched hole. The sight of it gives him another ego boost, slapping the Omega's ass to signal his satisfaction while continuing to plow his insides.
Y/N continued crying and moaning into the bed, which Jason didn't quite appreciate. His mind was suddenly filled with the image of another random Alpha making his Omega scream and cry on their dick and knot in this very room for the neighbors and anyone else nearby to listen.
With that thought in mind, he leaned down to grab the Omega's hair, pulling him off the bed and against his body while keeping his thrusting in a steady rhythm. His other hands rubbed down the Omega's sweaty body before reaching down to stimulate him from the front, adding to his pleasure and increased cries.
"No hiding those sweet sounds from me, baby. In fact, you better scream louder so the whole damn neighborhood knows who you belong to," Jason growled, his hand tightening its hold on the Omega's hair.
Damn Alphas and their possessive ass attitudes. Y/N didn't even want to imagine the looks he was going to get from his neighbors if any of them could hear the two. The walls weren't that thick.
"You're gonna be my good little cum dump, aren't you," Jason grunted, his hand rubbing against the Omega's front while his hips slammed against his ass, "Gonna take my knot and everything else I got."
"Yes, Jason... oh fuck," Y/N gasped, his head thrown back.
They'd fucked like rabbits in that position for some time, Jason's stamina being no joke. But, as his knot started to grow, he was forced to flip the Omega back over onto his back, his thrusts becoming shorter and sharper.
Y/N had begun to squirm once again under the large Alpha, feeling the dick inside him start to swell even more. He could only hope it wouldn't actually tear him in half as so many other people liked to play around and say.
Careful what you wish for folks.
"Jason, oh fuck, for the love of– please, slow down," Y/N begged, his head tossing and turning, his bound arms straining.
"Can't, too close," Jason groaned, his thrusts picking up speed.
"I can't, fuck, please!" Y/N cried.
"Quiet," Jason's hand smacked against the Omega's mouth, muffling his voice, "Stop squirming. Stay the fuck still," He growled.
Y/N whined underneath the Alpha's palm, his body still twisting and struggling. Jason's body was covered in sweat as he pistoned in and out of the Omega rapidly, slowly losing his rhythm as he could feel his knot forming.
"You're gonna be all mine from now on, brat. Hope you were really serious about earlier, 'cause you're only gonna be taking care of me from now on," Jason declared, his teeth biting and nipping at the Omega's earlobe.
The harder Jason's thrusts became, the closer both he and the Omega began to near their release. The Alpha's hand once again found its way around the Omega's neck as he continued to muffle his noises while now taking his breath away.
"Take it, dammit," Jason grunted, his hand pushing the Omega's body further down into the bed.
Y/N's body shook and trembled, his legs shaking and his toes curled. A few seconds later, he was letting out a muffled scream as his body shook with release, slick mixed with his cum squirting from his body and around the Alpha's cock that was now just rutting into him as his knot was about to pop.
"Yeah, there you go," Jason groaned, his own hips stuttering as the Omega's orgasm brought him over the edge, "Shit, here it comes, baby. Take it, fuck, take it all," He growled, his hips slamming all the way in him.
Jason's body stilled, his knot fully expanded and his dick released a massive load of cum, filling the condom inside the Omega's body. His arms wrapped around the smaller male's waist, holding him close as he rode out his orgasm.
Y/N whimpered, his body shaking and twitching from the sensation of the knot filling him, his body feeling utterly exhausted but also saturated from the hard fuck he'd just received.
Jason held him still, his chest heaving and his forehead resting on the Omega's shoulder. Their bodies were a mess, their skin glistening in sweat, their limbs tangled, and their heavy breathing the only sounds heard in the room.
The vigilante felt slight exhaustion, but also an overwhelming amount of relief. The pain of his rut subsided after finally getting to knot an Omega.
Not just any Omega though, the Omega of his dreams.
It was crazy that after one crazy and rough fuck, your feelings could become so obvious. Jason was in love with Y/N and had been for a while. Just needed a little push to realize that.
Of course, this could also be the high amount of endorphins running through his body but let's go with the first one since it's more romantic.
The Alpha rolled the two of them onto their sides, careful not to cause any pain or discomfort, their bodies still tied together.
"How are you feeling?" Jason asked, his tone much softer and calmer compared to his previous demeanor.
"Sore," Y/N said, his voice hoarse.
"Sorry, guess I got a little carried away," Jason smiled sheepishly, his hand rubbing the Omega's cheek.
"Maybe just a tad bit," Y/N teased
"Shut up. Don't act like you didn't like it," Jason chuckled.
"Mmm, I never said I didn't like it," Y/N smirked, his eyes looking down to the swollen knot still firmly plugged inside him.
"Brat," Jason scoffed, his hand swiping at the Omega's side.
"Asshole," Y/N replied.
The two sat in silence, taking the moment to breathe and collect their thoughts, Jason's hands the smaller male's body.
"Jason," Y/N called, his gaze fixed on the ceiling.
"Hmm?" The Alpha hummed.
"I think the condom broke," Y/N informed, his eyes glancing toward the Alpha.
Jason's eyes widened, his hand moving down to the base of his penis where the knot was starting to shrink. The latex did not seem to have held up against the pressure of his knot, as he could see some unsettling stretches and tears at the base of the rubber around his dick.
"Fuck," Jason cursed.
"Yeah...welp, no better time to test the effectiveness of Omega birth control than now," Y/N commented.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry, I should've–"
"Hey, hey, calm down. It's okay. We're not exactly virgins here. I've had a few flings and I'm sure you have too. Accidents happen," Y/N reassured, paraphrasing Jason's words from earlier
"I guess," Jason muttered, still feeling slightly guilty.
"Jay, stop worrying. Like you said, there are other options. And besides, we've got more pressing things to be worried about," Y/N stated.
Jason gave the Omega a curious look, "Like what?"
"Like me having to draft a formal response to the black collective of how I let myself be colonized by a white man," Y/N deadpanned.
"Fuck off," Jason rolled his eyes.
"Are you, a white man, trying to silence a black voice? During Black History Month? I thought black lives mattered."
Jason gave the Omega an unimpressed look, "Y/N, it's April."
"Oh, so black history is only contained to one month?"
"You know, I really can't stand you sometimes," Jason said.
"But, you still love me," Y/N responded, once again mocking the Alpha's words.
Jason felt a smile coming over his face, leaning down to place a kiss against the smaller male's lips, "That I do."
Y/N smiled, not realizing the implication of Jason's words before both of their attentions were pulled to the jerking feeling down below. The Alpha's knot had released, but Jaon's dick was once again standing at attention, clearly ready for another round.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Y/N groaned.
Jason smiled sheepishly at him, "Sorry, sweetheart. I'm in a rut, and I've got some makeup to do for lost time if I want to get it back to normal. Hope you didn't have any plans for tonight...or tomorrow."
"Fucking hell," Y/N huffed, his head falling back against the pillow.
"Well, can you at least untie me?" Y/N asked, gesturing to his still-bound arms.
"Hmm, nope," Jason denied.
"Fuck you," Y/N scowled.
"That's the plan."
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☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️
☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️
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mrs-illyrian-baby · 2 days
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Give Me Shelter, For My Heart | Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader | One Shot? 3k
Things are missing around the Avengers' compound and a newly returned Bucky is acting weirder than normal...Steve and Sam go to investigate and discover more than they bargained for.
Warnings: 18+ for language and suggestion of Hydra violence/torture/experimentation, omegaverse themes including alpha & omega, suggestion of pregnancy/pups, wolf shifting Rated F for Fluff and G for good friends
Challenges & Prompts: @buckybarnesevents Alpha Bucky April with extra prompts - word count, nesting, purring, beta characters, (I'll let mods decide if this hits the breeding/baby fever prompt). And @fandom-free-bingo 'forehead kisses'
Graphic by me and Canva, dividers by @firefly-graphics & @reveriesources
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes
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“Hmm,” Steve looked around the supply room, surveying the gaps and empty shelves, normally well stocked with blankets and provisions. It was the third time this week he’d found himself at a loss, not just for words but his things too. Everything seemed to be going missing. 
First it was a few plates and mugs from the galley kitchen by his office, then it’d been the lunch he’d left for him and Bucky in the fridge. Last night he’d gone into Bucky’s room to make sure he was okay and found the man sleeping on a bare mattress, all the sheets, pillows and blankets were gone and the newly revived Bucky refused to explain what had happened to them or even acknowledge that there was anything wrong at all. He hadn’t even addressed that fact that the window was wide open and it looked as if he was sleeping in his shoes. 
Which brought Steve’s thoughts to the man himself. Bucky had been so odd since he’d returned. For a day or two, he’d been something like his old self, despite the awful situation they found themselves in, he’d joked with Steve and reminisced with the few memories he had. They’d enjoyed a beer together and he’d even met with Tony during their mediation and patched things up. 
Then, they’d all climbed onto the jet and he’d become distant, pacing like a caged animal until they’d landed. As soon as the doors were open he’d vanished for forty-eight hours and sent the entire compound into mayhem before strolling back in as if nothing had happened, bruised and covered in blood. Judging by the bandages he sported later that day, his cuts and bruises spread under his shirt and trousers too. 
Steve knew that he’d changed during his time with Hyrda, back in the 30s they’d both been betas, happy to plod along ignoring the madness of the few alpha’s in Brooklyn. It had been a rare thing then, to be an alpha, now they were considered a dying breed, so when Bruce’s tests had revealed that Bucky was an alpha now, they’d tried to take it in their stride that he might go off on his own sometimes, especially since omegas were even rarer. But there was still so much they didn’t know, so much to unpack and discover about the Bucky they’d rescued, and Steve was so desperate to spend time getting to know this new man that all the time apart was making him worry. 
“You okay?” Sam asked from the doorway, leaning in to hand Steve a hot cup of coffee. 
“Just doing a stock check.” 
“He take something else?” Sam stepped into the small room, lined with shelves and shelves of tents, camping stoves, parachutes, it seemed to go on and on. The bare grey shelves where stock was missing was stark against the white washed walls. 
“He?” 
“Barnes,” Sam sipped his coffee, matter of fact, and Steve confronted the worry that had been plaguing him. 
“It’s Bucky, isn’t it?” Steve dropped his head heavily and Sam patted him on the back, still sipping his drink. 
“Sorry man, told you, he’s not right yet. He’s not hurting anyone though, if he hates his bedding, who cares, if he hates your lunches, who could blame him.” 
Sam sidestepped Steve’s halfhearted swipe with a grin on his face. 
“But what’s he doing with it, Sam? Where’s it all going?” 
“Hell, I don’t know, have you asked him?” Sam raised his eyebrows. 
Had Steve asked his best friend, who flinched at his touch and shied away from any conversations? Bucky who vanished for hours at a time and came back looking as if he’d been dragged through a hedge? No, he hadn’t. He’d been too scared to confront what might be going on, what latent part of his programming might be at play. 
“Look, if you’re too scared to ask why don’t I?” 
Now it was Steve’s turn to raise his eyebrow, it wasn’t that Sam and Bucky didn’t get along, they just didn’t get along yet. Steve was working on it. 
“What if we…followed him?” He offered instead and Sam laughed again. 
“Who knew Captain America was scared of his own friends,” he couldn’t contain the chuckles. “Fine, fine. Let’s keep an eye on him.” Sam turned to the ceiling, more comfortable with the AI than Steve was. “FRIDAY, if Sergeant Barnes leaves his room, please can you alert us - privately?” 
“Of course,” the soft voice answered and Steve gave his friend a weak smile. 
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FRIDAY’S alert went off twice a day, every day, over the next week. But despite their best efforts neither Steve nor Sam managed to catch up with Bucky. 
It wasn’t until the following Saturday that they managed to follow him. Bucky was supposed to be at a training session to get his official certifications but they’d both had a feeling he’d try and skip it. As predicted they’d spotted the blue of his new henley edging around the side of the compound, a full backpack strapped to his back. 
Bucky ran across the grass and towards the thick forest. His still uncut hair was tied back but tendrils fell out as he sprinted into the wind. 
He was surprisingly loud, as he strode quickly between the trees, snapping twigs and branches that Steve knew he could’ve dodge even before the serum and his training. Sam looked at him, both of their feet silent as they followed. 
Bucky’s speed increased as he turned his face up into the breeze, his backpack jostled against the trees, bouncing when he began to run. 
Steve kept up, sending Sam wide, into the breeze, in case Bucky doubled back. 
Just as he was starting to feel lost in the repetition of trees and ferns, Bucky burst into a clearing and Steve slammed to a halt. 
The pine trees gave way to a small patch of clear sky, shining down on an old shed. Unlike the other abandoned guard houses, this one had obviously been cleaned recently. The small porch was swept and a pair of Avengers camping chairs were arranged neatly facing into the forest. A line had been strung between the cabin and the trees where one of the missing blankets fluttered in the gentle wind. 
Steve crouched down, motioning to Sam on the other side of the clearing to stay out of sight. 
Bucky approached slowly, “Cățeluș, are you here?” 
At first there was nothing and then a wolf nosed its way out from behind the door, it’s chestnut brown fur almost gold in the sunlight. It leaped forwards from the porch and shot across the clearing, leaping into Bucky’s arms. 
Steve whipped his head up to try and find Sam and by the time his eyes found Bucky again the wolf was gone, replaced by a woman pulling on a large t-shirt from Bucky’s backpack. 
“James!” Her sweet voice rang out in the otherwise quiet forest. 
Swamped by Bucky’s familiar red henley, you shot from the door and into Bucky's waiting arms, the back pack dropped to the floor and forgotten. 
She was swamped by Bucky’s red henley and he wrapped you in his arms, one large hand on the back of your head, tucking you into his neck. The other supported your legs, now wrapped around his waist. 
In the clearing Bucky's shoulders relaxed as he sank into your embrace, kissing and nipping at your neck. In return you tipped your head, practically purring at the attention and wriggling in his arms. 
“Have you been okay, baby.” Bucky asked, pulling away enough to look you over. 
“I'm okay, I missed you though, James, please don't leave me again.” You begged cupping his stubbled cheeks in your hands. 
Bucky turned into your palm and kissed it, “I know, I know, I’ve been making sure it’s safe for you.” 
Steve's heart sank. Bucky didn't feel safe? 
“You trust me, don't you, my little omega.” Bucky rubbed his nose into your cheek and you giggled, holding him even tighter, your hands in his hair. 
An omega? 
Sam stared over at Steve, eyes wide. 
It was clear to them both that this was no chance encounter and all Bucky’s odd behaviour suddenly started to make more sense.
Steve motioned for Sam to leave, they could sneak back to the compound and perhaps bring this up tentatively. Perhaps leave some items you might like lying around in the hopes that Bucky would take them and understand that his secret was out, but it was safe. 
Sam moved swiftly round the clearing as Steve continued to watch Bucky. 
Bucky vanished into the cabin, leaving you on the porch alone, snuggled into his shirt and pressing the collar to your nose. 
“She’s cute,” Sam whispered, squeezing up against Steve, still hiding in the overgrown ferns that lined the edge of the cabin. 
“We can’t let her sleep out here. She must be hungry and cold.”
Bucky emerged from the cabin carrying two of the missing mugs, balancing them carefully on the railing before scooping you up into his lap. His hand hovered by his mouth, sipping in slow motion as his eyes scanned the tree line and Steve took a breath, sitting back quickly. 
“Stay here, Cățeluș,” he was up in a flash, eyes always on the tree line even when he reached into his boot to pull out a familiar gerber knife. 
Instead of flipping it into his palm, he balanced it on the arm of your camping chair. Eyes still on the trees he placed his metal hand on top of your head, “stay here and stay safe, follow the plan, do what you need to.” His voice was low, series, almost a growl. Far away from the happy, loving tones he’d been speaking to you with before. 
You nodded, and as soon as he felt your head move he was up and off the porch. 
Steve and Sam looked up in time to see a wolf leap towards them. 
It was true then, the experiments had worked and Steve had the cold feeling that returned every time he discovered something new about his friend during a fight, but he had no time to worry about it now. Not when the wolf was closing in on them. 
It was huge, its white fur dusted with fallen leaves, but its teeth gleamed in the afternoon sun as he pounced, snarling. His paws the size of dinner plates slamming into the ground in front of them, teeth bared and snarling. 
Steve rolled away, pulling Sam with him and covering his body, regretting not bringing the shield. 
“Bucky!” Sam shouted from under Steve’s arm
“Bucky it’s us we don’t want to hurt you!” 
The wolf pulled back from the two men pinned beneath him, and something like clarity passed over Bucky’s icey blue eyes and he sat on his haunches, head cocked to one side, ears floppy. Then it stood, rounding the bushes and, in a blink, the man had reappeared still hiding before the foliage to cover his naked body. 
“Steve -” Bucky looked thoroughly confused, 
“Bucky, we’re so sorry we shouldn’t have followed you.” 
“What are you doing here?” Bucky’s voice wavered, his body cold without his fur and with his clothes left behind in the cabin. 
“We were worried about you, man, you’ve been so weird - stealing stuff, going missin’, can you blame us for getting creeped out?” Sam raised his eyebrows and Bucky’s brow furrowed. 
“Sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to -” he gestured back towards the cabin and, as if remembering he’d left you behind with no way of knowing he was safe he turned and ran back to the clearing. 
Steve and Sam jumped up, chasing after Bucky once more. 
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The cabin porch was empty when Steve picked his way down the slope of mud and rocks into the clearing. 
A howl rang out as he got closer to the little house, a high, pained sound and then the response came, low and level. 
There were two wolves now, hidden at the side of the cabin in the shadows.
The white wolf kept itself half turned towards Steve and Sam, who kept quiet and still, barely daring to breathe, allowing its companion to approach slowly. 
The brown wolf dropped in front of the white, ears flat back against its head, and then rolled over, showing a soft belly that the white wolf nuzzled gently before turning back to Steve and barking sharply. 
Steve held his hands up and the wolf barked again, turning tail and returning to the cabin. 
It took only moments for Bucky to show himself on the porch, pulling his henley back down over his now dirt streaked belly. 
“Come in,” he gestured up the stairs and vanished again. 
The cabin, though run down, was well kept. The porch was swept of leaves and there was even a little mat by the door. 
“Shoes,” you whispered, pulling on Bucky’s sleeve as you entered the main living space, making an attempt to hide behind him. You’d dressed again too, also in one of Bucky’s henleys and a pair of leggings that Steve recognised as Avengers recruit issue. 
“Do you mind?” Bucky asked while Steve and Sam stared between you both. 
“Shoes,” you turned to look up at Bucky again, eyes pleading in one moment and then flicking to the two new men treading mud into your home. 
“Your shoes, take them off.” Bucky helped them arrange their boots neatly by the door while you pottered around the fireplace. “This is her nest,” he whispered, making sure the doormat was straight and the little curtain was neat over the window. “It’s important to omegas, to her,” you turned shooting a glare over your shoulder, “to us-that it’s kept just right and she hates shoes inside.”
In the small living space a camping stove had been set up with a kettle, a portable fridge, and an assortment of mugs, both Avengers field regulation and novelty, which were set neatly on the mantel. You chose four, and placed them next to the kettle while it steamed happily away. 
Bucky spoke softly to you in a mixture of English and Romanian, but you didn’t come any closer to the strange men. You’d seen them before, on the television and in Bucky’s notebooks, but now that they were here, so large and imposing, you couldn’t bring yourself to even look over. 
“This is Cățeluș, well, that’s not her real name but we couldn’t find that. She - uh -” you watched Bucky struggle for words and lay a hand on his cheek, smiling warmly up at him. Your Winter, your James. “-I don’t want to say the word, it upsets her, but she was with me when I was - him - part of the experiments.” 
You poured the tea quietly, watching the steam rise into the darts of sun making their way through the broken knots of wood in the wall, and you took a deep breath. With shaking hands you gave the first man, Sam, a cup. He had a gentle face, a wide smile and he didn’t look at you with pity, as you feared, only interest. 
The second man held his breath as you approached, keeping his hands as close to his body as possible until you pushed the cup towards him. Steve. Bucky had lots of pictures of Steve in his notebooks and had told you more stories than you could remember, but he didn’t look sickly, he looked too big for the space, his shoulders drawn in, slouched. You appreciated that he was trying not to look scary, even though your every nerve was on edge.  
Bucky took the proffered mug from your hands with a kiss to your forehead and you sighed, allowing him to steer you to the only arm chair in the room and then passing you your own tea. 
“We got out, eventually and - I brought her here.” Bucky sat on the rolled arm of the chair, draping his own arm over your shoulders and fitting you into his side. 
Steve and Sam could only stare. 
“Why didn’t you bring her to the compound? She can stay -” Steve turned to you, “you can stay, either in Bucky’s room or you can have your own room if you’d prefer.” 
It took you a moment to process the offer, but eventually you shook your head, turning into Bucky’s side. 
“It was awful - in there, with them she, we both -” Bucky struggled for the words, the desire to protect you rising inside 
“It’s okay,” Sam said carefully, “I know the transition’s been rough on you, Bucky, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for her, how you even got her out here. But there’s nothing to be afraid of, maybe she’ll come with you? If you suggest it?” 
Sam kept looking at you, his eyes soft and encouraging but you turned away, pressed your face into Bucky’s ribs where his scent had soaked through his shirt, reassuring and primal, chanting in your head Alpha, safe, Alpha, safe. You did miss him, when he was gone, but how could he keep you safe in that place. 
You’d seen it, once or twice, through the trees when you took a walk, looking for whatever you could find in the forest. Guards left lots of things behind, bottles and coats and jackets, useful things. You collected them all, skirting around the edge of that horrid white building and hoping to never see the terrifying things that flew out of it, men in suits and robots, it was too much. 
“You can bring whatever you like with you, and maybe Nat and Wanda could help you with some new things, if you liked?” Steve followed Sam’s lead, keeping his voice steady and low. 
“James - my nest.” You mumbled, gripping his henley in your fist. 
He dropped a hand onto your head, “we can do whatever you like, baby. You want to stay here, we can stay, you want to go to the compound, we’ll go.” 
You felt Bucky’s heart rate pick up, its beat hammering and your anxiety grew too, your breathing more ragged, you turned even further into him, practically climbing into his lap, the henley you’d taken from him riding up. 
Instantly you knew it was a mistake, the scars of your time in Hydra were still visible, raised on your skin, yellowing patches of healing bruises and calloused skin from repeated bouts in the chair. 
Sam and Steve could barely conceal their inhale of breath. 
“Bucky, did you get her checked by a doctor or…” Sam trailed off, Bucky looked angry again, his arms fully surrounding you. 
“And what would I have said, Sam?” He growled, “I know she looks like she’s been kept in a cage and beaten but please don’t arrest me, I promise it wasn’t me? Her social security number? Sorry, I don’t have it, we don’t even know her name. I did the best I could.” His anger tipped over into a resigned sadness. Bucky cupped your face in one hand and forced you to look up at him, “I did the best I could, baby, I really did.” 
You nodded and his grip loosened so you could nuzzle into his chest again, your own tears running down your cheeks at the memory of those early days. Bucky’s shaking hands patching up your burns and cuts, the whisky you’d slugged before he pulled out a stray bullet from your arm and stitched it with floss. Every touch had been gentle though, every time he’d changed your bandages or cleaned you up, it had been gentle. It had been everything he could give you. 
“We didn’t mean it like that, Buck,but we could help, get her checked over and then you can come back here.” Sam’s voice was plaintive, deliberately soothing and it made Bucky’s blood boil. 
“I’m not taking her to that place.” He bit back, there was no mistaking the way he curled you into his body, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping his arms around your back. 
It didn’t hurt anymore, to be touched, but then it’d never hurt to be touched by James. His hands had always been careful with you, his strength used only for protection and it was for that reason that you lay your trust in him completely. 
“Don’t make me go, Alpha.” You whispered, your lips brushing the base of his neck where you’d marked him, right over his scent gland, your teeth marks an eternal brand. You nuzzled into him, your chest rumbling again. 
“I won’t make you go,” he looked back at Steve and Sam, the finality of his decision sat heavily in the air. 
“Can we at least bring some medical things here? Would you let Sam check you out?” Steve offered, he was increasingly concerned by the way Bucky had retreated into the chair, his own legs now curled up on the overstuffed cushion.
Above you, James nodded once, “just you and Sam, don’t tell anyone else. I’ll know if you tell anyone else.” The panic edging Bucky’s voice had Steve raising his hands in surrender. 
“I promise, Buck, just Sam and I.”
Sam and Steve left the cabin at dusk while you and Bucky watched from the deck. As soon as they were beyond the trees he pulled you even tighter against his chest, his heat warm. 
“Everything is going to be okay, baby, I promise, no one’s going to ever, ever, hurt you again.” His hands slid down your arms and across the slow swell of your belly. “But we should consider their offer, make sure we’re making a choice that’s good for you and me, as well as them.” His palm pushed up under your shirt, splayed on your tight skin and, deep inside, your pup pushed back. 
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skzstannie · 3 days
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"They found her"
SKZ -> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader
This is a part 2 to this fic, but it can be read as a stand alone as there's not much reference to the original fic.
genre: hurt/comfort, angst wc: ~3,800 words cw: kidnapping, guns and gunshot wounds, hospitals, some brief cursing
Summary: Since the incident, the guys have been extremely over protective of you. You heed their warnings, but still go out unaccompanied by security on your vacation, only to have to pay the price for your poor decisions.
A/N: Hiiii, ik I've disappeared off the face of the Earth again, but I've brought gifts back with me this time. This one's a bit heavier, but it's the long awaited part 2 to "Did you know?", so I hope you guys enjoy. I hit 500 followers since the last time I posted, so this is kind of a celebratory post as well. Thanks guys!
Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!
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The time has come around again when JYP has given you and your members some well-earned personal vacation, and you've chosen to spend that time back at home with your family and friends.
Upon hearing about your vacation, your childhood friends started blowing up your phone, asking about when you'll be in and if you wanted to hangout. Of course, you've missed them just as much and gave them all the details of you're arrival.
The day of said plans has finally arrived, and you couldn't be more excited. You and three of your closest friends have decided to go to this cute breakfast cafe for brunch, run by all your favorite stores for some shopping, and then round your evening out with some bar hopping.
"You have got to see this!" Ha-Yoon, a friend you've known since grade school, explodes from beside you in the passenger seat, fanning herself. "Look at how hot this guy is? Think he'll give me his number if I DM him?"
"Are you being for real?" Dae cringes from the backseat, leaning forward to get a closer look at your friend's new internet crush. "He's kinda ugly."
This elicits a bickering match for the remainder of the drive, with you and your remaining friend, Soon-Bok, rolling your eyes at their silly banter.
You decided that you'd pick them all up from their homes, figuring that you'd get to spend some more time with them that way. You didn't really think about the fact that perhaps more time was synonymous with too much time. Just because you hadn't seen your friends in months, doesn't mean that they didn't see each other literally every single day.
With a clear of your throat, they stop insulting each other's fantasy love interests, both squealing when they realize you've pulled into the parking lot for the cafe.
The four of you get out of the car, you pulling your keys out of your purse to lock the doors. While walking towards the doors of the cafe, you're hit with a strange feeling- like someone's watching you.
Immediately, you whip your head around in search of anyone getting a little too nosey, but you come up with nothing. You keep your guard up though, knowing you can never be too sure.
Since the stage incident a few months back, you've been feeling a little paranoid. Understandably so, especially since the mean and threatening comments never subsided. It's gotten to the point where the staff have begun to send out a few extra security guards each time you leave the JYP building. In fact, JYP gave you all this nice little vacation in hopes it'd help some of the comments die down. To your dismay, they have not.
The guys have been incredibly protective since then, and you're actually grateful for it for once. Their constant questions about your whereabouts and wanting to tag along with you everywhere you go used to annoy you, but you'd never think to complain about it now.
Just this morning, having told them about your exciting plans for the day, they sent a barrage of texts telling you to be careful. Chan practically demanded you take a security guard with you, but for the sake of your friends' comfortability, you declined. Was it stupid? Possibly, but you're only wish for this vacation is to make things seem normal again. Having constant security around is not normal.
You placated Chan by telling him that your family knows of the places you'll be, and your family and the rest of your members all have your location at all times. He was reluctant, almost threatening to fly himself to your home just to go out on your little excursion with you, but he eventually gave way, not without first lecturing you about how important your safety is- like you didn't already know that.
~ ~ ~
"And then he pushed him down the stairs! How crazy!" Dae finishes, your eyes widening at how her story ended. She had just finished telling you all about how her boyfriend got into this big fight with a guy at the bar the other day. Apparently, the random man thought it acceptable to lay his hands on Dae, and her boyfriend did not appreciate that.
"Your boyfriend is so hot," Ha-Yoon comments, her eyes looking dreamily off into the distance.
"Excuse me?" Dae questions, raising a brow at Ha-Yoon's confession.
"I mean-"
"Ok!" you interrupt, pushing your chair back from the table you've all been sat at. The brunch was nice, catching up with your friends was much needed and the food was warm and comforting, but enough is enough, and your friends are starting to get a bit squeamish. "I need to use the restroom quickly, then we can head to the mall? Does that sound ok?"
There's a chorus of yesses, and they shoo you off into the restroom, picking up their phones to distract themselves until you get back.
You make your way to the back of the cafe, noticing how the bathrooms are secluded down a small hallway in the corner of the restaurant. Your eyes glance out the emergency exit door, and you tilt your head in confusion upon seeing a large white van sat outside it. It is not parked in a parking spot; it's just parked directly outside the door.
You quickly do your business, not wanting to keep your friends waiting for too long, and head back out to the front of the cafe. Stepping outside the restroom, a hand is immediately thrown over your mouth, a piece of foul smelling cloth pressed up against your nose. You try to scream, but this only causes you to inhale more of the chemical.
You fight, attempting to throw an elbow behind you to dislodge yourself from the person's vice like grip, but this only leads to your elbow being grabbed at a painful angle. You whimper slightly as the person pries your elbow behind you, and it almost feels as if your arm could snap if you were to move another inch. You become lightheaded, and it's hard to keep your eyes open and your mind alert. Unable to fight any longer, you give in and slump down into the arms which hold you captive.
~ ~ ~
"She's been gone awhile, I'm gonna go-" Soon-Bok is cut off by an alarm inside the cafe going off. All the customers heads perk up at the noise, their attention drifting to the employees.
The waitresses look to one another in confusion before one makes their way over to where you went for the restroom a few minutes before. The cafe is silent as the waitress disappears, looking for where the alarm would be coming from.
It's silent for another minute, before there's an audible gasp. She comes back with your purse in one hand and your cracked phone in the other.
Your three friends quickly get up from their seats, rushing over to the waitress. "Where'd you find this?" Dae asks, her eyes tearing up.
"Just outside the bathroom. I was just able to catch a glimpse of a van speeding off. Do you think someone was taken?" she asks, her eyes widening at the thought.
"I think- I think our friend was kidnapped," Ya-Hoon whispers.
~ ~ ~
"This is why I said she needed a security guard with her! This would have never happened!" Chan snaps at their management in anger, rising up from his seat in the meeting room.
Upon hearing about your kidnapping, the rest of your members were immediately brought back to the JYP building. They were all livid.
"Chan, I understand you're upset, but there's really nothing we can do now but wait-"
"Wait for what? Huh? Wait for her to just magically appear here?" Minho cuts off the head of security, his face red with anger.
"Of course the police are on the case and doing everything they can to find her. As for the eight of you, you are not to leave this building until we get all of this under control. Do you hear me? We do not need more than one missing member." JYP is stern as he speaks, leaving no room for discussion. "This meeting is dismissed. We will update you all if we hear anything."
With that, everyone else clears out of the room, leaving your eight members.
"This is awful," Felix says, his head hanging in his hands.
"No shit, Felix, why not state more of the obvious," Jisung narrows his eyes at Felix.
"We can't turn on each other," Changbin butts in, deterring them from getting into it any further. "We have to stick together and just wait this out. She's strong; she'll be ok."
"But what if she's not," Hyunjin speaks up for the first time since they got back. He's been huddled up against Jeongin since they got there, his head hung low. It's obvious he's been crying with the way his cheeks are stained with tears, his eyes red from how often he's rubbed them.
"We can't think like that," Chan says, moving over to Hyunjin. He lays a comforting arm around his shoulders, and Hyunjin immediately moves to the comfort of the leader, turning his head to hide it in Chan's chest. "They saw the van leave, it couldn't have been too long before the police were there. They'll find her, and then she'll be right back here with us."
"To never be let out of our sights again," Seungmin grumbles from the couch, wearing a similar expression to that of Felix's.
"Correct," Minho agrees, leaning back in his chair.
~ ~ ~
"Seungmin, you have to sleep. Staying up for 72 hours straight is not going to make her come back any faster," Chan lays his hand on the back of the boy's neck, slightly rocking him side to side.
"Maybe not, but I'll be the first to know when they find her," he counters, his bloodhsot eyes meeting Chan's. "You're one to talk; you haven't slept either."
Chan just sighs in response, plopping down on the couch next to him. It's quiet between the two of them, but neither are complaining about it. The peace is nice after what they've been through the past few days.
"Hyunjin hasn't stopped crying. Jeongin and Felix have had to take turns laying with him," Seungmin breaks the quiet, his soft voice travelling throughout the practice room. "Han hasn't eaten since we found out."
"I know, I've been trying to get everyone up and moving, but no one's interested."
"Chan, we're not expecting you to be the hero. We know you're in pain, too, and it's ok to act like it," it takes Chan a minute to process what Seungmin had said, but as his brain takes time, he realizes that it's been so long since he's cried, so long since he's truly let his emotions out.
With another moment passing, Chan's breath quickens and tears spring into his eyes. Without another thought, he turns his head into Seungmin's shoulder and cries. He cries for you, and how scared you must be right now, and he cries for the rest of his members, knowing how bad this is hurting them. He cries because he can't take away their pain or yours, not this time.
~ ~ ~
"Wake up." You feel a cold splash of water hit your face, and you're abruptly brought to consciousness. Your eyes open quickly in response to the cold, but you squint once you're hit with the blinding light coming from the ceiling light above you.
You try to talk, to say anything, but you quickly become aware of the duct tape placed snuggly over your mouth.
You gain some more proprioception, feeling the tightness of the rope around your wrists and how your ankles are tied to the legs of the chair you're currently sat on.
"Hey!" Your attention is brought to the large man standing in front of you, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the gun in his hand. "Eyes here. And quit squirming so much!"
You freeze at that, stilling your movements. "Now listen here," you hear another guy say from across the room. You are just noticing him for the first time, and you realize that this guy in front of you must be the brawn of the operation. "We need some money. A lot of money. So, if you want to make it out of here alive, you need to call your family and have them bring us 350 million won. No less. Think you can handle that princess?"
Tears well in your eyes at the mention of death. You can't die like this, at the hands of these awful people. But you also know you don't want to get your family involved. So, deciding this is your best bet, you sit stoically. You look straight ahead, your focus unwavering.
"The silent treatment, huh?" You can see out of your periphery the man at the desk across the room stand from his chair. He makes his way towards you, but you pay him no mind, keeping your blank stare on the wall in front of you.
"If the threat's not enough to get you to talk, maybe this will be." He's quick to take the gun from the other man's hand, and before you can even flinch he's pointed it at your lower leg and let off a shot.
You choke on your own spit when the pain registers. You close your eyes and strain your body not to react, but there's only so much you can do. The tears you were successfully keeping at bay before now slide freely down your cheeks. Your hands are in tight fists behind your back, and you feel you may pass out from the white-hot pain radiating from your calf.
Your consciousness teeters, and all words being spoken by the men sound gibberish in your state. Just as you feel you may fall completely unconscious, you're startled by a loud bang from behind you. Your eyes lazily drift to the men, and you see their gazes widen before they quickly raise their hands in surrender. You make eye contact with the one that shot you, and that's the last thing you see before your eyes shut, your body and mind going completely numb.
~ ~ ~
The practice room door is flung open, bringing Chan out of his sleepy state. "What the hell? Be a little quieter would you," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at Jisung who stands in the doorway. For the first time since the news, Chan is attempting to get some sleep. It wasn't exactly on his own accord, though. After the constant hounding from the rest of the members, and even a threat from Felix that he'd sneak melatonin into his water, he decided it would probably be best for him to try and get some shut eye; he'll be of no use to anyone if he's delirious with sleep.
"They found her."
At this, all of Chan's previous drowsiness vanishes. He sits up from the couch faster than he ever has before, his joints cracking with such a sudden movement. "What?" he asks for clarification, fearing it might be too good to be true.
"They've found her. She's on the way to the hospital right now," Jisung's contagious smile makes more sense now, Chan wearing a similar expression.
"Where are the rest of the boys?" Chan stands from the couch in a rush, quickly slipping his shoes on.
"They're in the meeting room. They just bought our flight there, we're leaving now."
~ ~ ~
"Thank you," you tell the nurse, taking the small cup of water from her hands. It's been a few hours since you woke up from your unconscious state. Upon arriving at the hospital, they immediately took you into surgery to remove the bullet from your leg. Thankfully, it missed all the important stuff, leaving your bones completely in tact. You're left with some muscle damage, but the doctor assured you with some physical therapy you'd be back to normal again.
You're now laying in bed recovering. The wound has been stapled and is wrapped tightly. You have your leg resting on a couple pillows, hopefully to help prevent the swelling. Beside you on the couch is your family, having come in immediately upon hearing the news. Some silly K-Drama is playing on the T.V, but it's enough to keep your mind occupied for now, so you're thankful for it.
Nobody confirmed it for you, but you were sure your members were well on their way. Your family told you that you had been kidnapped for a few days. You told them you only remember being awake for a few minutes, but apparently they kept knocking you out again and again.
After talking with the police, you find that they were using you for ransom, and they kept knocking you out because they didn't have everything squared away yet; whatever that means, you're not quite sure.
As if on cue, the door to your room swings open, revealing Chan and Minho. They're out of breath and sweaty, looking as if they had just run a marathon.
You're given no time for formal greetings as they both launch themselves at you, throwing their arms haphazardly around you until you feel like you're squished beneath them. Your mom makes a protesting sound, but you wave her off with a gesture of your hand. They missed you, and you missed them. They weren't hurting you or anyone else by hugging you.
"You're never leaving our sights again," Chan says, his cheek pressed against the top of your head.
"Never ever," Minho agrees, his torso laid lightly across your lap.
"I'm okay-" you start, only to be cut off by an angry looking Chan. His face pops into view at your words, eyebrows furrowed.
"You are indeed not okay! You were kidnapped, unconscious for hours on end, and then shot! How are you possibly trying to convince us that you're ok?" Minho stands up at his outburst, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm alive, and that's okay enough for me."
With your response bludgeoned into their minds, they both collapse on top of you in another hug.
You bask in their warmth a bit longer, only being interrupted with the door creaking open. Felix and Hyunjin stand there, teary and red-eyed.
"Your time's up," Hyunjin sniffles, moving out of the way of the door so the two can exit.
"We'll be back," Chan leans down to kiss your forehead while Minho grabs your hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.
They leave, and Felix and Hyunjin scurry in after them. They crowd around your bedframe, hesitant to even lay a hand on you.
"Hey," you whisper, reaching over to grab both of their hands, "I'm okay."
Hyunjin breaks down in sobs, and it only takes Felix a minute before he's right there with him. You let go of their hands and open your arms to welcome them in for a hug. Both of them hesitate again, but eventually bend down to give you the gentlest hug you've ever received.
"Does it hurt?" Felix mumbles, his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders.
"They've got me on some serious meds, so no. It probably will when I come off of them, though. I haven't tried to walk-"
"And you wont either. Not for a long while," your mom cuts in from the couch.
"Thanks for your input, Mom."
"No problem," her gaze shifts to the boys, "She's been moody since she came out of surgery. They say it's because of the meds." They both let out a huffy laugh at that, and while you're absolutely dying to argue, you're just thankful to see Hyunjin and Felix smile.
There's another knock at the door, and all your heads snap to Changbin and Jisung. "Our turn," Jisung says, gesturing for Felix and Hyunjin to get out.
"We'll see you soon," Felix says before making his way to the door.
"Love you," Hyunjin says, hugging you for a second longer.
"Love you, too," you tell him, and you watch as he gets up and walks toward the door.
Once they're gone, Jisung and Changbin come into the room.
"Chan is never letting you out of his sight again; you know that, right?" Changbin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.
"Uh, not just Chan, all of us," Jisung argues. "You know how when girls go out they all have to, like, go to the bathroom together? That's about to be us bestie."
"Um, ew," you grimace just thinking about all your privacy being stripped from you.
"We'll wait outside, of course," Changbin says, trying to make you feel better.
"Oh, how thoughtful," you sass back, giving them a sarcastic smile.
"But for real though, are you ok?" The atmosphere turns serious at Jisung's inquisition. "We were all worried sick about you."
"I guess I could be better, but I'm gonna be just fine. Doc said some physical therapy and I'll be good as new."
"Did you know they didn't even realize you were an idol at first?" Changbin says, piquing your interest. "They said they thought they just picked up some random person at the cafe. Apparently that's why they kept you knocked out for so long; it made things more complicated."
"I did not know that, actually. The police only gave me a quick run down, said they'd be back later for some more questioning and to give us some more information."
Another knock is heard at the door, and you look to see Seungmin and I.N standing there, the last of your boys. "Our turn now, move along," Seungmin says, tapping his foot impatiently.
"That's our cue, we'll see you later." They both lean down to give you a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.
Seungmin and I.N come in, seeming even more urgent than Chan and Minho did earlier.
They both come crashing down on top of you, all concern for the wires attached to you out the window.
Wanting to tease them, you say, "What if I was, like, seriously hurt? And now you two just came running in here like a pack of wild animals?"
"Give me a break, everybody said you were fine and that you were accepting hugs," Seungmin throws back, giving you a firm poke in the side.
You bark out a laugh at that, a smile gracing your features. "They also said that you hadn't smiled yet. So there," Seungmin nuzzles his head back into your shoulder, and you feel him breath a sigh against your neck.
"We missed you," I.N says from the other side where he's latched onto your arm.
"I missed you guys more."
"Not possible, I'd never seen any of the guys so worked up before. Chan didn't sleep the whole time you were gone, and as soon as we convinced him to, they found you," Seungmin says.
"Well, I'm here now," you comfort them, rubbing a hand on each of their backs.
"And we're never letting you go again."
~ ~ ~
Part 1
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suiana · 7 hours
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(yandere! ex x gn! reader) (thought of this in the shower and thought it would be funny)
it had been five long dreadful days since you last talked to him.
five.
full.
days.
your ex boyfriend thought that it was finally time to break the silence and embrace your presence again. unfortunately, you had blocked him on all platforms and even got a restraining order on him. like, you've blocked him before but not a restraining order!
you even got all dramatic and said you wanted to break up!
...again.
he honestly thought it was a little cute. like aw... you wanted a break again! okay, because he loves you so much he'll give you another one! like you obviously meant break up as in separate for a bit then go back! like as always!
so... why haven't you contacted him at all?
he's itching and clawing at his walls just waiting for you to text him. but no, nothing. zero. absolute silence.
all the blocking and restraining orders weren't just to get his attention?
...
but he doesn't care haha! why should he care? you're just being a little dramatic again. this is how it's always been. he knows you just feel neglected, so of course you're just doing this for attention!
oh! he knows what to do!
that's right! he should show up with gifts and coddle you in kisses! like always!
that's why, he's patiently waiting for you to return back home... with tons of jewellery and cash laid on the ground. how did he get in, you ask? well obviously he has a spare key to your home! yeah yeah, he knows you haven't actually given him a new key and that you changed your lock two days ago but it was so painfully easy to just copy your key!
he couldn't just not make a copy, could he? you know he has to have access to you at all times! he gets antsy when he doesn't!
ah, your door is opening!
he grins happily, giggling excitedly as he sits by your couch, looking at the door in excitement.
"darling! i missed you!"
he moans, cheeks flushed as he stares at your stunned figure. however, his happiness gets replaced by worry as you slip on the money he laid down your hallway. oops... maybe he shouldn't have flooded your house in cash?
"darling! oh no... sre you alright?"
he pouts, immediately rushing to your side as he brushes the money away from your body. ah look at you! your face is all terrified... you must've been so so scared without him, weren't you?
"i promise I won't leave you again... just look at you!"
he mumbles, shaking his head disapprovingly as he picks you up and expertly maneuvers his way through your cash flooded apartment.
"what would you do without me?"
he sighs, cradling you to his chest as he sits on your couch and begins wiping away his faux tears with a wad of cash. that's right! what would you do without him? you were just so fragile and helpless! you'd suffer without his protection! he swears never to leave you alone again!
meanwhile, you were just silently smashing your head against the wall. god, your escape attempt failed again! maybe you should just escape to a foreign country next time. hm, maybe you should change your name to josh and alter your appearance too.
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Don't make me choose
Gojo x fem!reader
Word count: 1.4K
Summary: it's been some time since you've started dating the infamous Satoru Gojo. But lately you feel more like the two of you are just cuddle/fuck buddies and not a real couple. You make him choose his priorities which is something the strongest doesn't like.
Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort
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When Gojo Satoru first asked you out you couldn't be happier. The first time he caught your eye was when he zoomed past you together with Geto on one bike. You got so startled you fell to the ground and scratched your knee. You thought at first that they will just leave you there and probably laugh at you later at a pub, talking to their friends how they knocked over a clumsy girl in a park. What completely shocked you was Gojo running up to you with Geto pushing their bike behind him asking you if you were okay and if you need any help.
The rest is history.
Now, three years later, things have been going well. Mostly.
You had the ultimate boyfriend experience. Nice dates, wholesome anniversaries, moving in together, having fun. You did everything in your power to not get boring, for him to not get bored. You cooked, cleaned, asked him how his day was, acted silly with him even when you were exhausted after a long day.
So why? Why was he spending more and more of his free time away from you?
It started out small. The first time you started noticing was like a month ago. As soon as he came home he told you he's going to the pub with Geto and Nanami. You told him to have fun of course, not wanting to seem like that girlfriend that doesn't allow their boyfriends having fun without them. Then from one weekend it became every weekend. Both of you were busy during the week, the only time you had for yourself was during the night and weekend. It soon became just nights.
Even during the week it was "babe, i have a day off tomorrow i'm going to Geto's" or "sorry we have to move the date night to sometime else, Geto is sick and has no one to take care of him" and once even "babe, remember how you told me about this place you used to love as a child? I'm going there with Geto! What a coincidence, right?". The last one hurt the most. Honestly, the last one was also what made you start noticing these in the first place. Once you looked into the past and counted all the times Gojo chose to spend his free time with his best friend instead of you you nearly slapped yourself. It was too many times. How could've you been so blind?
All off days were for Geto. All special days were once again for Geto. Weekends, holidays, his and yours birthdays, all for Geto fucking Suguru.
You needed to have a talk with him.
If he comes back that is. Lately he started to have sleepovers with Geto. As if both of them were teenage girls. You did ask to join them but they always told you off to "not disturb their boy time".
Steps echo outside your apartment. The door unlocks. And in comes...
"Babe," comes the voice of your beloved white haired guy, "I'm home."
"I can hear that," came your answer. You prayed it didn't sound too agressive. Your stomach was full of nervous butterflies, making it even worse to come up with a decent way to start the talk.
While you were thinking he came from the entrance hall to the kitchen where you were sitting and kissed you on the crown of your head. "I wanted to ask, do we have plans next wendesday? Because Suguru said he'd-"
"Listen," you interrupted him before he could even finish, "can we talk?"
Gojo chuckled. "That's a very scary sentence."
"Why? Have something to hide?"
"Nope," he put his bag down and leaned his back against the wall, "I'm listening. What is it?"
You took a deep breath. Then another. "Don't you think you're spending a little too much time with Geto?"
His playful smile loosend into a neutral line. "Elaborate?"
"It's just... you've been with him so much lately and I miss being with you-"
"I'm with you all the damn time. Every single night we-"
"Can't you let me finish?!" you said a little louder than intended but enough is enough. "Is that all you see me as? A fuck-buddy to warm your bed?"
Gojo groaned in annoyance. "No, of course not. But you're literally overreacting over here!"
"Overreacting? How? By wanting my boyfriend to be home on his off days? To spend some time with me and have fun like before?"
"Have fun times with you? What am I your babysitter?"
"Are you Geto's? All the fun stuff we used to do you're doing with him!"
"No, no darling," he stood up straight and walked towards you, backing you into the corner, "all the stuff we used to do I did with him first. He's my best friend! I've known him half my life! You have to have at least a bit of empathy to understand that."
Even cornered by a giant of a guy like him you didn't feel fear. The butterflies in your stomach died. What remained was just pain in your chest predicting what was about to come.
"Do you even see me as your girlfriend anymore, Gojo?"
"Oh, so we are on last name terms again?" he asked sarcastically and walked away to pour himself a cup of water.
"Answer me."
You watched him drink. Slowly. You've never seen a man drink this slow.
"Of course I do," he put the glass down, "what kind of a bullshit question is that?"
"It's how I feel Gojo. You're never here with me!"
"I am here now aren't I?" he poked his chest with his forefinger. "I'm here every single day and night, twentyfour fucking seven ever since we moved in together! Well excuse me I want to have some quality time with my best friend from time to time!"
You didn't want this. The yelling, the arguing. But it has to be done.
Now as a finishing touch. "Who do you value more?"
"Excuse me?" was all he said, too surprised to not hear you yell in return, just calmly asking your question.
"Who is more important to you? Your best friend or your girlfriend?"
Gojo covered his face with his palms and threw his head back. "You can't be serious right now," he groaned. "Suguru is my best friend. You can't just make me choose!"
"So I'm below a best friend. I might as well be called your friend with benefits..." you say more to yourself than him.
"There you go hating yourself again," he shook his head. "I get it, you want to hear me say how much you mean to me, how you're the most important thing in the world and other stuff I've told you a million times already and yet you still slip into this state. I might as well record myself saying those things so you could listen to them everytime you're attention starved," he pinched the bridge of his nose.
He sighed. "You know what? I'm tired of this. I still care about you, but you have to understand Suguru is-"
"I know," you interrupt his rant. "I'm tired too."
Gojo sighs. "Okay. Good. I knew we could talk this out," he said and picked up his sleepover bag again. "I hate arguing with you."
He walked past you to the bathroom to dump his pyjamas into dirty laundry. "Let's go to bed, okay?" he shouted from there.
After a quick shower he walked out the bathroom with nothing but sweatpants on and a towel around his neck.
However you weren't there. Not in the bedroom, nor living room, nor anywhere else. Confused Gojo walked around the apartment, looking for any signs where you might be hiding. Maybe you want to jumpscare him again to light up the tension?
Fine, two can play this game. He tiptoed into the bedroom to your massive closet and yanked it open.
You weren't there. But neither were your things. He quickly checked under the bed to see your beloved backpack missing.
Panicked he started calling out for you, thinking this was just a prank.
It wasn't.
You made him choose and without even realizing it he did.
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Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 4
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I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS
Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤
All OC Characters belong to me
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Joe grunted as his text message to Kiyana went unanswered for another day. “Gotta be Josh’s punk ass.” He muttered, throwing his phone onto the couch next to him. It’s been six months since he had Kiyana in his bed and he was feening for more. 
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back as he remembered how tight she felt wrapped around him. How intoxicating her moans sounded as she moaned in his ear . “Fuck” He whispered as he felt his pants grow tighter. He groaned and opened his eyes. “Fuck.” he muttered again, grabbing his phone and sending Kiyana another text message.
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“Baby, when the last time you had some dick?” Kiyana choked on her lunch and glared at Samara as she reached for her cup of soda. 
“Girl what?” Kiyana asked. Samara shrugged. 
“You so wound up. That’s exactly what we’re doing this weekend. Getting you some dick.. Grade A dick.” 
“Can you stop saying dick?!” Kiyana hissed. “I do not need any of my coworkers over hearing this conversation.” Kiyana looked around, grateful that they were seated towards the back of the cafeteria and only one person was near them but he had on headphones. Samara had shown up to the hospital on Kiyana’s first day to have lunch with her and to hear about her day out with Josh and the boys. 
“I’m just saying.” Samara shrugged again with a smirk on her face. “Last person you had sex with was Joe, right?” Kiyana nodded. 
“Oh speaking of Joe. He texted me again.” 
“Did you respond?” Kiyana shook her head and Shrugged. 
“What was I supposed to say?” 
“Oh, big daddy Joe. I need you and that dick.” Samara said playfully, batting her eyelashes at Kiyana and laughed loudly, ducking the french fry that Kiyana threw her way. 
“Sorry to interrupt.” Kiyana and Samara looked towards the person and both of their jaws dropped open causing him to laugh a bit.  “I just wanted to introduce myself.” He said, his eyes never leaving Kiyana’s.  “I’m Elijah but everyone calls me Eli. You the new labor and delivery nurse right?”  Kiyana nodded, her mouth going dry when he flashed her a grin. “Nice to finally meet you. See you around.” He said, giving her a nice once over before biting his lip and walking away from them. 
“Fuck what I said about Joe.”  Samara said, eyes wide as she and Kiyana watched Elijah walk away from them. “If you don’t ride that man six ways to Sunday… I will.” 
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Josh let out a growl when he saw Shanté waiting outside by his rental. He knew it was too good to be true. He could have swore her crazy ass had got sent back down to NXT but here she was, wearing a customized YEET shirt that had “MRS. USO” on the back. 
“Bruh, you trippin’” He muttered. Standing as far away from her as possible. “Whatchu want?” He looked around to see if there were any lingering fans around. He did not need any picture of him and Shanté hitting social media. 
“I miss you.” She pouted and Josh rolled his eyes. “C’mon Josh. Those four months meant something to you too.” 
“I didn't,” he said bluntly. “We had sex that’s it.” Shante rolled his eyes not believing what he was saying. 
“Josh, come on! You were so mad that I went out with Theory.” 
“Nah” He shook his head., “I was mad that Kiyana was being a bitch and refusing to bring the boys to see me because we were fighting and I took it out on you. I don’t give a damn about you and Austin.”  Shante furrowed her eyebrows. 
“What?”
Josh sighed. “It was nothing but sex Shanté. Yeah I said some shit that I shouldn’t of said. But I never wanted to be with you.” He shrugged, not caring if it came off mean. He was sick and tired of popping up everywhere. “It was just sex.” He repeated, and as expected Shanté marched up to him and smacked him in his face.
“I’m happy Kiyana divorced you, you piece of shit” She glared at him before ripping her shirt over her head and throwing it in a nearby trash can. Not caring that she was now walking around in her bra. 
“You and everyone else.” He muttered before climbing into his rental and driving towards the hotel. 
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Kiyana fell backwards onto her bed. She was beyond exhausted. She closed her eyes and sighed. She would have to get used to this feeling, no longer a stay at home mom or a wife. She was almost asleep when he phone dinged with a notification, 
ElijahDaniels has requested to follow you. 
Kiyana bit her lip as she scrolled through his instagram account.
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This man was too fine for his own good. She accepted his follow request and immediately received a DM from him. 
ElijahDaniels: those your kids? They look just like u.  KiyanaJackson_: yeah and thank you, lol. You’re the only person to ever say that.  ElijahDaniels: i aint know you was married tho. Tell you husband my bad lmao.  KiyanaJackson_: divorced actually.  ElijahDaniels: good KiyanaJackson_ good? Lol ElijahDaniels: yeah, now i can get to know u better.  ElijahDaniels: see u tomorrow ❤️
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Mr Elijah Daniels MD 😉... our girl KiKi is back in the game!
(Joe is coming, i promise.)
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Could you please write more about pregnant Tiriel? Your writing about her finding out she's expecting and about Astarion hearing the baby's heartbeat were one of my favorites?
Synopsis: Astarion takes care of pregnant Tiriel.
Tags: dadstarion, pregnancy, fluff
Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
Waiting
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“I think I am going to die in childbirth,” Tiriel says, pressing her face to her knees.
Astarion would sigh if he could. Tiriel sits shoulder-deep in a bath of warm water, as the vampire washes her hair and rubs her back.
“You aren’t going to die. You are a half-elf and I am sure the child is rather small. Look at your belly, you are in your last month and it’s not really showing.”
Tiriel turns away. Well, to call her belly small would be an underestimation – her slim body is currently betraying pregnancy. It’s covered in stretch marks that won’t disappear, ever. But again, Astarion has seen many pregnant human women in Daggerlake within the last five years and Tiriel has definitely been spared, carrying someone who takes after their elven ancestors.
But once Astarion thinks he’s managed to cheer her up, Tiriel sniffs.
“What if something is wrong with the baby? You are a vampire! I love you and all that, but you are still undead! What am I even carrying inside? And what if the child is sick? Or deformed? Or…What if it is going to kill me?”
“I can promise you, if something goes wrong, we are saving you,” Astarion splashes water on her hair.
“Thank you.”
He kisses her shoulder. “Don’t worry that much, the last thing you need is to cause a complication.”
Tiriel touches his fingers. 
Astarion adds more soap to the tub. The scent of vomit and sweat still lingers on Tiriel’s skin and Astarion takes a clean piece of rug.
Tiriel has been feeling so bad in the last few days she barely left her bed. Her legs hurt, she couldn’t eat without vomiting, and she hardly slept because of back pains. She finally made herself go out that evening to eat properly, but, the moment Tiriel finished her dinner, she felt nauseous and everything Astarion had cooked for her ended up on her home shirt.
That moment, Astarion had enough of that and carried Tiriel to the bath. 
“I'm sorry,” she says.
“What for?”
“I look disgusting.”
“Nothing is disgusting about a pregnant woman,” Astarion says, rubbing her left ear. “Besides, I’ve seen and done much worse things than giving a bath to someone I’ve knocked up. Your condition is my fault and I am taking full responsibility! Now, let me wash your front.”
Tiriel presses her back against the tub allowing Astarion to get to her belly and legs. Astarion smiles seeing the visible bump and carefully rubs the skin.
He is so close he can hear the second heartbeat. 
It is not clear to him when the child is going to be born. Elves are pregnant for two years, but Tiriel’s body is hardly capable of doing so. Humans need nine months for the same process, but Astarion has learned from the healers in Secomber, the closest big town to Daggerlake, that it’s never clear with half-elves. And it also depends on the child – Astarion tries to think about the baby as an elf with just a bit of human ancestry (still enough to fuck up the gentle elven biology).
But in reality…
The child is half-him, half a vampire anyway. And that should bother him.
He is afraid of that moment. He waits for that moment to come. And he also misses Tiriel in sensual terms. He wants her blood (which is out of reach for him till she stops breastfeeding), he wants her body (they haven’t had sex ever since she got pregnant). 
And he wants her to stop being in such pain daily.
“I look ugly,” Tiriel chuckles. “Don’t try to say it’s not true.”
“It's not. You are beautiful!”
Suddenly Tiriel flicks his nose. “My eyes are here.”
Astarion realizes he’s been staring at her swollen breasts and small droplets of white liquid on Tiriel’s nipples.
“Stop all this nonsense, Tiriel!'' Astarion takes her leg and stretches it to wash it better. “I like caring about you. I like how you look. And I absolutely love that it's me who did this to you. It all feeds my vampiric possessiveness, after all!”
“And I love that it was you who did this to me,” Astarion feels Tiriel’s fingers on his cheek.
“Now, get out of the water before it gets too cold!” Astarion brings towels. “Is food still out of the question?”
“I want something hot to drink.”
“I will make you herbal tea, then.”
Astarion, after making sure she is dry, carries Tiriel to bed.
He looks outside. What he loves about his house in the underground part of Daggerlake is the big windows. There is no point in hiding from the sun, and Astarion can enjoy going outside whenever he wants. Besides, the biggest part of the town is underground too, and Astarion also doesn’t feel like an outcast.
And his neighbors have seen much worse things than vampires who know the law.
Suddenly Tiriel yelps. He turns to her and notices the night shirt she’s put on is wet. 
But wasn’t Tiriel's skin dry when he took her from the bath?
Tiriel hugs her belly and lets out a cry of pain. 
“Tiriel…” Astarion rushes to her. No, not today. He still needs time to get ready.
Tiriel grabs his shoulder. “Go to the healer… I am.. Gods…”
The child has decided to be born today. ------ You can read what happens next in Little Bundle of Darkness --
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shady-swan-jones · 3 days
Text
Captain Swan Fic Recs are back, baby! - April Edition
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Hello, cs friends! It's been like, what, seven years since I last did this? Who's counting. Enjoy the fruits of y'all's labour and some amazing stories. Keep writing, we need you
-Sophie
when Emma falls in love [from the vault] by @spartanguard
Inspired by "When Emma Falls In Love" by Taylor Swift, part of series based on songs from the vault
everyone's wondering why Emma doesn't screw the hot bartender already, it's not like he hasn't given signs. but with emma's romantic past it's not like she's throwing chances to anyone, scruffily attractive as they may be. yet, it's not her past that's worrisome. will they break the curse?
rated T | 6.2k words | AO3
Untie Me | captain swan fic | office romance | mature | 3/5 | 5.9k | in progress, by me
“Didn’t you pay attention to trigonometry, Jones?” she balances her weight on the stick, languidly, in a way that ticks something into his already drowsy brain.  “Is this the part where you offer to teach me, Swan?” he says, advancing to her. 
Read on Ao3 or ff.net
I, lost, was passing by - by @dykelilypage
Five years ago, Emma's father had given her a necklace for her birthday. It was a beautiful ruby encased in a golden chain, that sat heavy on her chest. It was safe to say then, that Emma was more than a little bit pissed off to discover that it had been stolen from right around her neck. The one stroke of luck to the whole ordeal was that she knew exactly who had taken it. Killian Jones. rated E | 6267 words
love scare by @exhaustedpirate
it's a little canon-compliant one-shot that i place during the six weeks of peace, more specifically, like a day or so before 4B rated G | 922 words | ao3
Expecting a Secret [3/3] by @walviemort
Summary: After the events of 3x19, Killian is at his lowest after being rejected by Emma. When Snow’s labor turns out to be a false alarm, Zelena offers Killian a deal: she’ll leave the Charmings alone…if he gives her the baby she needs for her spell instead. There’s just one hitch: he has to keep it a secret. At least it will only take 10 days, right?
The Heart of a Villan (5/5) by @beckettj
There are only two people that can make me care about football: Ted Lasso and this. Words: 6181 ~ AO3
Perilous Harbor by @veryverynotgoodwrites
Emma Swan is heir apparent to her parents' kingdom in the Enchanted Forest, and a powerful wielder of light magic. This makes her the most wanted woman in the realm, not only for marriage, but for leverage against the king and queen. While her parents have been able to keep her safe so far, an attack is launched on Princess Emma that leaves her no choice but to seek the protection of her worst enemy - Killian Jones, infamous captain of the Jolly Roger and his pirate crew. ao3 in progress 19/23
a work of art by @sotangledupinit
“I always have to clean up your messes,” she mutters to herself angrily, eyes glaring down at the red liquid on the floor.
Between Waking Life and Our Dreams (12/?) by @nachocheese-itsmycheese
Season 3b canon divergence: Storybrooke is still missing when Emma, Killian, and Henry reach the town line. AO3 T
The Fluffy Problem by @ineffablecolors
"Oh, I'm going to have fun paying you back, Captain."
ff.net
The Cure for Loneliness (4/?) by @laianely
Killian went to the world without magic to finally kill Crocodile, but instead he met Emma in Gold's shop. And his whole life turned upside down overnight.
E 16k words in progress AO3
Pan Says... (8/?) by @hollyethecurious
After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.
To Cleave Destiny by @iamstartraveller776
She was going to pass the night the same way she did every year in adulthood: by getting drunk enough to forget that the world was incredibly unfair. Ao3, in progress, T, 4k
Note:
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geeks-universe · 18 hours
Text
The Fallen pt. 2
Cooper Howard x F!Angel!Reader
A/N: Some light spice, no full on smut yet. This is in fact a Lucifer (TV) crossover. The beginning italics is a flashback.
Cooper Howard had perfected his aim in the many, many years of life spent in the hellish landscape that now inhabited Earth, so when he missed, it was purposeful.
“It ain’t good form, sneakin’ up on a restin’ man.”
His words were crisp, articulated, and honestly the intruder was just lucky he happened to be in a decent mood. It would’ve been easier to kill them.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were here.”
The replying voice was a stark contrast to the harshness of the life he lived. It didn’t belong, sounded far too gentle, and it aroused enough curiosity for him to tip his hat back.
Not a damn thing in the whole of the Wasteland could’ve prepared him for the sight he was met with.
Pretty, that was his first thought.
Too pretty.
Ungodly so, actually. Your eyes seemed to shine so bright in contrast to the dingy lantern that barely provided enough light to see his own hands. The slope of your nose, the cut of your cheeks, the shape of your lips- too pretty.
Not to mention the tight jumpsuit you wore, the zipper tugged down low enough on your chest to show off a healthy amount of cleavage. His fingers twitched as his eyes traced a path down your body- slow, appreciative. It’d been a damn long time since something as simple as a look could get him this worked up.
You had one visible weapon, a knife tucked into the belt of your jumpsuit, pressed into your very alluring thigh. He wondered briefly what it would feel like under his hand, wrapped tight around his waist.
“I suggest you get on your way ‘fore the next one ends up in your skull.”
It was a threat, one he emphasized with the click of his gun’s hammer.
You seemed unbothered, almost bored.
Fuck, didn’t that just annoy the piss out of him? You stumbled into his space- that he commandeered with his hard earned bullets, thank you very much- looking like fucking Aphrodite, with an expression that could, at best, be considered unconcerned.
Last he checked he was still pretty goddamn terrifying.
“Understood,” you held your hands up, and damn it all if he could ignore the pain in your gaze.
He hesitated.
It was a fraction of a fraction of a second, where he almost slipped back into Cooper Howard: the man who cared, imperceptible to most, but the small upturn of your lips told him you saw it.
He glared, holding his gun higher. You didn’t say another word, just held your hands up and walked away, but not before you met his gaze one more time.
He wished he knew what you were thinking when you muttered a soft, “thanks,” before you disappeared from the rickety building. The image haunted him for weeks, of you with your sad eyes, your face untouched by the ugliness of the world, breathing out your gratitude.
He swore he’d shoot you on sight if he ever saw you again, if only because that one encounter lingered in his mind for far too long after.
“Think they’re fuckin’?”
You startled, whipping your head up to face Cooper so quickly he was sure that it hurt. The heat that flushed your cheeks was unexpected.
“Sorry, just didn’t think you’d be so blunt.” You cleared your throat, running a hand through your hair. “Maybe, they certainly seemed interested enough in one another to… engage.”
Coop barked a laugh, low and deep.
“Engage, huh?” You narrowed your eyes at him, resting your arms on your knees. “That’s a real innocent term for a bonafide tease like yourself.”
“Tease?” You echoed, almost offended.
The red from your cheeks burned a path down your neck, to the top of your breasts, where it disappeared beneath the fabric of your jumpsuit- a path Cooper was all too eager to trace with his eyes.
He hummed an affirmative, spreading his legs out in front of him. His back was leaned against the pole of an old billboard, giving him a nice resting spot from the traveling you’d been doing.
A few days ago, your little trio ran into the same knight Cooper had gotten into a shootout with back in Filly. He’d wanted to shoot the man and be done with it, but Lucy had argued that he could help.
After much deliberation, and more than a few pleads of your own, Cooper agreed to let him live. For now.
“A tumble in the ol’ hay gettin’ you nice and shy, huh?”
You groaned, forcing your eyes down to the sand beneath your legs. He waited eagerly for your explanation.
“My dad was, uh, strict,” you supplied lamely, embarrassment burning a pyre in your stomach.
You would surely never hear the end of this.
“Darlin’, are you suggesting you’re a-“
“No,” you were quick to respond, beating back against the shame that you felt.
You’d never understand how Lucifer could be so free in his decisions, not bothering to feel any guilt over the many decidedly “un-angel-like” behaviors he had. His time on Earth with you was short, beckoned back to his prison before you could even spend a decade together, but he’d not been idle in that time.
“I’ve… engaged before.”
Cooper’s lips drew into a slow smirk, the brim of his hat hiding the way his eyes were drinking in your expression. He’d memorized the way you look time and time again- when you were happy, or sad, angry, annoyed.
Embarrassed, however, was a new one.
“And now?”
The indignation that flared in your gaze rivaled the red of your cheeks, a thrill running down Coop’s spine as you pulled yourself to your feet and stalked towards him.
“And now,” you whispered, voice barely audible above the crunch of sand beneath your boot.
As you approached, he raised his head, drawn to your stare. The breath he released was strained with anticipation.
“I think you know what I want, Coop.”
It was graceful, the way you dropped yourself to your knees and straddled him. His cock twitched at the look you fixed him with, filled with far more desire than he could ever hope to understand. A fire was burning in the air between you, begging him to close the distance and feel you.
His fingers ghosted up the side of your thighs, hovering just above your ass. He’d hoped for this moment- dreamed of it, even- but never did he expect the universe would be kind enough to deliver you to him, ready and willing.
“And what is that, darlin’?” His tone dropped low, barely a murmur from his lips in fear of ruining the moment. “Don’t be afraid to use your words.”
Your mouth was so close to his, warm breath fanning over his face. He was torn between wanting to pull you into him, and letting you take your sweet time with him. The vaultie and the knight would probably be gone for a bit longer, in search of medicine to help with his shot arm.
“Mmm,” that sweet, lilting voice was so close he could feel it, inching closer to his body.
It was overwhelming, the sensation of your thighs over his, your front grinding so gently down the hardening curve of his cock. It was heaven and hell at the same time, too much and not nearly enough. A groan might’ve tore itself from his throat, it was hard to tell over the sound of his blood rushing south, heart pumping double time to match the throbbing of his cock.
Every bit of his restraint was focused on letting you initiate, his hands flexing in the air, waiting for positive indication that he could have his wicked way with you. He could practically taste the sweet nectar between your legs, drooling at the prospect. If you tasted half as good as you looked, he’d never wish for apple pie again.
You, his tormenting angel, with wide eyes and full lips that he couldn’t seem to stay away from. You, who he once believed was a figment of his own imagination, if only because he couldn’t fathom such a delicacy still existing in this world.
“The hat.”
Your words were released on a breathy sigh, hands tracing up the textured skin of his neck, before you quickly grabbed hold of his beloved hat, delicately placing it on your own head.
The triumph in your expression didn’t last, as Cooper had no intention of this being just another game. Faster than you thought possible, and with far more force than you were used to, Coop had hooked his arms around the back of your thighs, caging you against him so you couldn’t back away as you had planned.
“This is a dangerous game you’re playin’.”
You pressed further into him, tipping his hat back with a smirk. His hips pushed up, aching for contact that you purposefully held from him.
“If I’m taking a ride, might as well play the part.”
His retort was hot on his tongue, only to be immediately swallowed by your mouth. Your lips crashed into his, rough in their ministrations. Years of dreaming about the taste of you didn’t do it any justice.
Your tongue explored his mouth with a ravenous hunger, hips moving in time with each stroke of your lips.
Fuck.
Fuck.
He was sure that all there was left to taste on the Earth was bitter and bland. You, however, were sweeter than he could’ve ever imagined. You tasted of vanilla, somehow, and the first crisp wind after a hot summer, and like the Earth before the war, the good things that had been destroyed and gone forever.
Holy hell, you tasted like life.
Like a deep laugh that came straight from the soul- he moaned when you tightened your grip on the fabric of his shirt, chasing every inch he’d give you- and the man Cooper Howard used to be.
His hands were eager in their exploration, mapping out a path from your thighs, to your ass, up the curve of your spine.
Fucking hell.
Every inch of you was divine, perfect in a way Cooper couldn’t even begin to understand. He wanted more. He needed more. Needed it more than he needed those damn drugs, more than he needed anything, really.
He went straight from the junction of your neck the second you broke from the kiss, mouth watering at the very thought of pressing his teeth to your sweet, soft skin.
“Cooper,” it was a whimper, a plea, and a moan all in one, and damn did his ears ring at the sound.
It went straight to his cock, making him press his hips up into yours, desperately trying to bury his length in you despite the many layers of clothing.
Your head fell back, exposing your neck even more to him, and causing his hat to tumble somewhere by his legs. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered outside of the feel of you.
His hands slid higher, on a path to your shoulders, only to stop at the sudden intake of air from you. It sounded pained, and he was dazed when you pulled away from him with a speed he’d not seen before.
One second you were hot, willing, and moaning his name, and the next you were standing over him, your eyes haunted.
“Darlin’, what-“
He saw it then, the sticky, warm red on his hands, unmistakably blood. A baser instinct wanted to lick his gloves clean of it, taste an even deeper part of you, but the human in him won out, if only for a moment.
“You didn’t think to let anyone know you’re hurtin’.”
The anger in his tone is only trumped by the worry in his eyes. Somehow, you’d wriggled your way into his nearly fucking nonexistent heart, and it seemed that you had the self-preservation of a damn baby sea turtle.
“It’s an old wound.”
The way you held your arms to your chest, almost like you were hugging yourself, told Cooper enough. It was a wound that cut deep, not because it hurt, but because of how it got there in the first place.
“Lemme see,” he said sternly, picking up his hat off the ground with a scowl.
“Today, sweetheart,” he muttered when you made no move to do so.
There was a vulnerability in your gaze, a cut so deep he knew you’d never fully heal from it. He wished he didn’t want to know, wished he didn’t care to learn what made those bright eyes dim.
You unzipped the front of your jumpsuit slowly, tantalizingly, almost like the teasing was a part of your armor- and maybe it was. Maybe it was how you convinced yourself you didn’t care as much, or how you rebelled against the father you obviously still struggled with.
You turned your back to him, baring the marred flesh without another look in his direction. Obviously, Cooper had seen many, many scars in his time. Hell, he was scarred from head to toe, flesh marked with the passage of time and the heat of radiation.
This was a little different.
You tensed as he reached a hand out. Two large gashes ran down the length of your shoulder blades, the flesh pink and raw. Scratches, deep and angry, cut between them, some bleeding and others healed. Curiously, the tips of his gloved fingers pressed to the two big scars.
In a flash you were turned around, your hands wrapped around his wrist.
“Don’t.”
A command. A plea. A whisper.
“Who did it?”
His words were hard, a rage so deep and endless rose in his chest, feeling more feral than he had his whole life. That wasn’t the scar of someone who survived an attempt on their life.
That was the scar of someone who intended to cause pain.
“Was it your daddy?”
From the very small amount of information you’d given him, he tried to piece together exactly what happened between the two of you. He didn’t know the specifics, but he did know that he’d hurt you in some unforgivable way.
Your silence was an answer in itself.
Leather creaked as he balled his hands into fists, grinding his teeth together. Cooper Howard was a monster, self-made and self-proclaimed, but he didn’t let anyone harm what was his.
And make no mistake, you were his. That kiss did just about everything to solidify it in his mind.
“If he weren’t dead already I’d hunt him down and string him up.”
It was a promise, and he wished he could bring that bastard back from the grave to punish him for putting those marks on your back and that look in your eye.
“Coop,” you approached him cautiously, returning your jumpsuit to its proper position. “He’s not dead.”
That certainly was a surprise.
And an opportunity.
“It’s more complicated than that,” you huff, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. The clench on your jaw was noticeable.
“Let’s find the fucker, then.”
A long, tired sigh parted your lips. There were clearly parts of the story he was missing, and it seemed those parts painted a picture he didn’t understand.
“Let’s focus on Lucy and her dad.”
He let the silence simmer, wondering just how much he should tell you of his past. A bit of irritation flared at the idea of revealing anything. It was better to let the past die, like you said.
He grunted his agreement, not bothering to explain it to you. Maybe you’d try to stop him, or maybe you’d help him. It didn’t matter either way. You were already far closer to him than he wanted, he couldn’t risk any more of a bond forming.
“They’ll be back.”
His words were noncommittal. It was likely the vault dweller and her puppy-dog of a knight were probably alive, but he couldn’t really care less, especially when the girl's own naivety got them into this mess.
“Her heart was in the right place.”
You could see it on his face, read the expression etched in his battered skin like nobody else could.
“The right place for dyin’, maybe.” He clicked his tongue. “But I ain’t got that sorta wish right now.”
“They didn’t have to shoot,” you muttered, not nearly as worked up as you’d been earlier.
Anger isn’t an expression you wear often, so he was a little surprised when you’d been so upset with the fiends. Lucy had the bright idea of making it around them without violence, a plan that was doomed from the start.
Cooper voiced his opinion, and so did Maximus, but your encouraging little smile to Lucy made him follow with a scowl. The second they’d drawn their weapons, Coop had already shoved you behind him and dropped one of them. The knight wasn’t nearly as quick with the draw, and got a tooth bullet lodged in his arm for the effort.
He and Lucy had departed about a day ago, claiming they’d be back soon with a fully patched up knight. If it were just him, he would’ve tied them both up and dragged their asses to the head.
Better yet, just killed them both.
But you wouldn’t let him.
You’d always erred on the side of good, a little too soft for the world around you. He’d seen you mean, seen you stand your ground, but you helped far more than you’d hurt. The vault dweller seemed to only be intensifying it, making you believe in a pipe dream that was sure to get you a one way ticket to eternity.
“I’m going to check-“
“(Y/N)!”
Lucy’s voice cracked through the Wasteland like shattering glass. Whereas his annoyance at the sudden arrival of his unwanted companions reflected on his face, you managed a small smile.
“I was beginning to think you’d left us.”
It was a joke. Whatever bond had formed between you and Lucy had clearly earned you some amount of loyalty, and even if she would’ve ditched Cooper any chance she got, she definitely wouldn’t have left you. And if she refused to, it was no surprise Maximus also did.
“I take it you’re feeling better?” Your gaze fell where the bullet had struck, and there was a curious look in your eyes. You’d mentioned before that you used to be good with fixing people up, so he had a feeling you were reminiscing on another tidbit of life he wasn’t privy to.
“Ain’t no reason to gawk here like a bunch of sittin’ ducks,” Coop stalked passed the three of you, not interested in the camaraderie.
“Right,” Lucy cleared her throat, “Glad to see nothing’s changed.”
“Just ‘cause you took lover boy here for a little ride on company property ain’t mean the rest of the world changed.”
Your sudden intake of breath definitely didn’t go unnoticed. It seemed that despite the previous interruption, you were enjoying rubbing yourself up on Coop as much as he was.
“Sex,” Lucy clarified to Maximus at the man’s confused expression.
“Watch out,” Cooper warned the other man with a sarcastic smile on his lips. “Them Vauties are just breeding factories, might end up with a little unexpected squire.”
“Cooper,” you chided, catching up to walk beside him.
Sometimes, being bitter about children in general helped him cope with the loss of his own.
“It is our privilege to one day repopulate the Earth,” Lucy confirmed, shrugging. “Women just have the responsibility of choosing the right partner.”
“I’m not sure-“ Maximus tried to speak, only to be interrupted by Cooper.
“Unsurprising.”
“(Y/N)?”
It was a low blow, Lucy asking for your opinion, knowing that even if he didn’t say it in so many words, it was obvious the ghoul valued it far more than any others. You raised a brow, shrugging.
“I haven’t really thought of it.”
“Of having kids?” Lucy pushed.
This was quickly entering uncomfortable territory, and Lucy didn’t really know where the boundary was.
“Of any sort of future, honestly.”
She took your answer in stride, though. Allowing the topic to drop off into silence. It didn’t stay that way for very long, idle chatter amongst you, Maximus, and Lucy. Cooper would very rarely comment, but he preferred to stay focused on his surroundings.
Day bled to night, which bled to day again. Time was beginning to slip past as you neared the location of the head, frustration growing in Cooper. Any opportunity he had to speak with you in private was interrupted, the traveling party growing too large for his liking.
Perhaps, after this whole ordeal, it’ll be just you and him.
Perhaps he liked the sound of that a little too much.
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bullet-prooflove · 2 days
Note
All About You: Dean Archer (Part 2)
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Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @helsinkibaby @hufflepuffgirl
Sequel to All About You (NSFW)
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Dean pulls out all the stops tonight. He brings home dinner from your favourite restaurant, he runs you a bath. He even turns off his cell phone and yours, because tonight, he doesn’t want any interruptions. He’s taking care of his wife come hell or highwater.
Dean lowers the lights in the bedroom, he’s old fashioned and prefers dimmer switches because he likes to set the mood, it helps to settle him after a long day. He’s clad in his bedtime clothes, a navy blue t-shirt and pyjama bottoms.
When you step out of the bathroom you’re wearing the peach silk robe he bought for you on your honeymoon. Your skin is flushed from the heat, you look happy, relaxed, content. It occurs to him that this is probably the first time you’ve done something for yourself over the past few days, you’re always taking care of everyone else. The families of the people you have on your table, your interns and him, you’re always taking care of him.
He's already warming the massage oil between his hands, he noticed you were a little stiff when you’d finished ruining him this morning. He knows you carry a lot of tension in your shoulders and your lower back.
“I promised you I’d look after you tonight.” He tells you before tilting his head towards the bed.
“Lucky me.” You say as you allow the robe to slip from your body.
“No.” He says with an appreciative look. “Lucky me.”
It’s been a while since he’s been able to admire you in your full glory. The last couple of weeks your love making has been hurried and rushed, he doesn’t mind a quickie every now and then but he misses the sensuality that comes with being with you completely.
You lie on your stomach and Dean straddles your hips, distributing his weight into his knees. He starts at your shoulders, the heel of his palm pressing against the knot underneath the curve of your shoulder. You moan at the sensation and that sound, Christ, he’s hard already.
His hands sweep lower, massaging, caressing, teasing until your making those sweet little noises, the ones he loves to hear.
“Turn over.” He murmurs as he shifts off you. He picks up the towel he set aside, using it to wipe his hands as you do as he requests.
He takes his time loving you, his lips brushing over your skin until your fingers thread through his hair and your hips arch against his mouth. You’re close, so close he can taste it, his tongue delves lower, thrusting inside you and you fall apart completely. He coaxes you through it with tender, gentle kisses that draw out your orgasm before he works his way back up your body.
“I missed that.” You murmur as his lips trail over the curve of your throat. “I’d almost forgotten how good you were with your mouth.”
“We can’t have that.” Dean tuts as his thumb chases over the line of your jaw. “I’ll just have to find a way to keep reminding you.”
“How about we focus on the other thing I’ve been missing?” You tease as your fingertips trail along the waistband of his pyjamas.
“Oh.” Dean smiles against your skin. “I think we can certainly focus on that.”
Love Dean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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hazbin-hotlee37 · 3 days
Note
Lee!Vox with Ler!Velvette would be cute :3
Fuck, motivation has gone poof! Anywayyyyyyssss
TW: Mentions of eating disorders and bad self care habits
Getting your mind off things
Lee!Vox, Ler!Velvette
“VOX!”
The TV headed demon in question jumped slightly, lifting his head from the desk where he was sleeping and running a hand down his screen. He sat up with a wince, his back aching. Fuck… What time was it?
“Vox, you missed the damn meeting and left me there with Valentino-... Damn, you look like shit. The fuck happened to you?” Velvette asks after she spun Vox’s chair toward her. The Media overlords appearance was very off from usual, looking disheveled instead of pristine.
“Nothing… I’ve just been trying to work on the Angelic Security shit…”
“That random idea you pulled out your ass? Why waste so much energy on that?? The extermination was canceled”
“Yeah, but what about the next one! I want to get this shit out there so the bitches aren’t breathing down my neck over it next year!” Vox said with a sigh.
“Yeahhhh, no. Come on, you haven’t left this damn cave in days.” She responds as she takes Vox’s hand dragging him out of his chair and out the door.
“I’m fine, Vel-”
“Don’t make me get Valentino” That shut the Media overlord up, he loved his husband, of course! But…… Valentino was already on his ass about this type of thing, if he learned the real reason as to why he wasn’t in bed with him at night… God, he did not have the mental capacity to comprehend that lecture.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on, I’ll get you something to eat” Velvette says as she pushed Vox into her room/living area. Vox stumbled a little but followed.
“I’m not really hungry right now, Vel” Vox mutters, he knows he should eat something… But the thought of food right now only made his stomach churn…
“Don’t tell me-... That thing is coming back?”
Vox shrugged and looked to the side, fidgeting with his sleeve slightly.
“Have you told Val-”
“No. And he doesn’t need to know, I’m fine.”
“Clearly you’re not, V! When was the last time you ate? Or slept? Or even took care of yourself in the slightest??” Velvette says, concern clear in her voice. “You’re gonna work yourself to your second death at this point!”
“I know, I know… I get it, It’s just hard to suddenly change something you’ve done since you were alive.. For years! I’m trying my best… but sometimes it creeps back…” Vox says his voice going quiet near the end, he sat down on the couch and sighed.
“...Bloody hell, V, I didn’t realize you were this fucked up” Velvette says with a joking smile, trying to lighten the mood as she sat down next to the Media demon.
“Who down here isn’t..?” Vox says with a slight smile, he then jumped and gasped quietly when he felt Velvette run her claws up his side. “V-Vel-”
“Come on, Vox, we both know you need a bit of a pick me up” The fashion designer says with a smile as she squeezes the TV demon’s sides.
Vox squeaked and tried to bring his knees up to his chest but Velvette just pushed his legs back down and started scribbling her fingers over his tummy.
“Nahaha! V-Vehel, nononono NOhohoho! Ehehek!” Vox giggled and batted at the Social Media influencers hands but didn’t really try to push her away.
“Aww, what’s the matter, Voxy, can’t handle what you dish out? Don’t think I forgot when you got me and Val the other day! So take this as a pick me up and revenge!” The fashionista says with a smirk as she started to squeeze and drill her thumbs into the Tech demon’s hips, giggling when he shrieked.
“VEHEHELVEHETTE! NAHAHAEHEHEH- I Cahahan’t-! Ehehehek!”
“Shush! God, you’re so bloody loud! At this point, Val’s gonna kick down the door!” “Ihihihi’M SOHOHORREHEHE-” “Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, I’ll slow down a lil, don’t want you passing out on me. Tino will have my head” Vel says with a softer smile as she plays with Vox’s antenna, making the TV headed demon’s giggles melt into something softer.
“Ohoho gosh…” “Yeah, yeah, just take a load off, alright? You deserve it…”
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snwusberry · 12 hours
Text
untitled#2
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pairing: dad!seonghwa x mom!reader (black reader)
genre: fluff
warning(s): the word daddy is used but not for those reasons.
wc: 1.3k
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reader's pov
i sit to the side watching thing one and thing two go at it with the cookie dough. no, they're not kneeding it or anything like that, they are busy tearing that shit up, smacking on it trying to make it look like they're 'rolling' it. at that time they think i haven't noticed yet. i have! like father like daughter for real.
"at this point we won't have any cookie dough left to make these cookies for the bake sale." i say more to myself but loud enough for tweedledum and tweedledee to hear.
byeol's school organizes a bake sale for every grade as a fundraiser and it's the 2nd grader's turn tomorrow so we're busy making all the treats were going to sell at our stall and since they're literal babies, the parents need to be there so seonghwa and i both took an off day to be there for the bake sale. we spent the last 2 days making decorations for said stall and i still have glitter in my hair from when byeol got distracted and turned seonghwa and i into "fairies".
"right... byeol i told you to stop eating the cookie dough." seonghwa fake scolds the little girl who's mouth hangs open at the pure betrayal.
these two are like two peas in a pod. a truly unbreakable pair but lord are they a mess.
when seonghwa and i found out we were having a girl we were over the moon. he's always wanted a daughter so imagine his joy. me? i was just happy to be there, boy or girl i would've been happy with either.
he treats her like a precious, rare stone and spoils her rotten but don't let that fool you, she's still an extremely humble and well mannered girl.
"but daddy, it was you who kept eating!" she whines, defending herself looking absolutely adorable with her two missing front teeth.
i smile at the two of them and seonghwa starts rolling the dough looking mighty fine, might i add. his hair is pushed back with a squiggly headband and to top his whole outfit off he's wearing the frilly apron that my mother made for me as a housewarming gift.
the oven dings and byeol jumps to hand me the oven mitts. "thank you dear."
"you're welcome mommy." she smiles which is really contagious and makes me smile too. i get the cupcakes out of the oven and the little girl jumps up and down excitedly.
"be careful love, they're still hot." seonghwa warns her and she nods and takes a step back before jumping again. "what else is left?" seonghwa asks, cutting the dough into little heart shapes.
"icing for the cake pops."
"can i have one mommy?"
"you had way too much sugar today princess, it's 8pm now."
"mmh and you should be sleeping." seonghwa adds but the little girl pouts.
"how am i supposed to sleep when the house smells like candy wonderland?" her squeaky little voice gets louder at her question which makes seonghwa and i laugh.
"but you need to sleep now so you have enough energy for the bake sale tomorrow. then you'll have all the sugary stuff you want." seonghwa whispers amd her eyes light up and she runs to her room and again, we laugh at her little actions.
"let's go put her to bed." i say to seonghwa and i switch off the stove so we can follow the little girl to her room. she's already bathed and in her pj's, bonnet on and everything, so i don't have to worry about that.
we walk into the room and see her already in bed and seonghwa shakes his head.
"what happened to brushing your teeth princess?" he questions and she springs out of bed and runs to the bathroom to brush her teeth and seonghwa smiles shaking his head at her antics. "she's still on a sugar rush. she's not falling asleep anytime soon."
"mmh, 'come lick the spoon princess, here's a cookie, help me roll the dough.' sound familiar?" i recite his own words to him and he raises his hands in surrender. that's what i thought.
"she gave me those eyes." he tries to defend himself and honestly, i get it. it's almost impossible to say no to her when she starts looking all 'sad'.
sad in quotations because, let's be real, she knows what she's doing.
"learn to say no."
"have you?" he questions in an accusatory tone and i accept defeat. granted, i can say no to her, it's just difficult to. seonghwa on the other hand?
i'm saying all of this, he's really good with parenting and discipline, it's just those moments, like these, when he's like, 'fuck it, let her have some of this and that and this too maybe.' she's a kid, let her enjoy.
she comes running back into the room and i look at my husband who's shooting me a look too. there's no way she's falling asleep now.
"maybe we should let her run it off a bit before bed?" i suggest to him and he sighs with a nod and byeol looks between us confused. seonghwa nods and we turn to the little girl.
"what's with you two?" she asks us and i smile down at her.
"byeol, i think we should run before your father catches us." i tell her with a fake tone of fear and she smiles widely. she loves this.
"let's go mommy." she grabs my hand and gets out of bed so we can start running with seonghwa chasing behind us talking about some, 'don't let me catch you'.
the house is filled with her laughter and little shrieks everytime she turns back and seonghwa is near. when she starts slowing down that's when we know she's done for the day.
"okay my baby, let's get you to bed, yes?" seonghwa says, picking her up but her stubborn ass protests.
"but i'm not tired yet." she yawns literally as she says that.
"case closed. let's go."
we both go to her room and seonghwa lays her on her bed, letting her go under the covers. it's routine for both of us to tuck her in whenever we can otherwise she'll be restless.
"what do you want tonight, story or song?" i ask her and she pretends to think for a bit. she usually prefers a song so she's most likely gonna choose that.
"song! but mommy please don't sing this time?" she tells me, blocking her ears and i gasp. excuse me kid??
"i'll have you know, i was very blessed with some killer vocals. you just don't get it." both of them give me the same unimpressed look. literally the same, she's a photocopy of her father. i honestly feel like it's unfair but that's a story for another day. "okay let's have daddy sing, i know who your favorite is."
"you're both my favorites!" she yells, pulling us both to her and we laugh and wrap her into a group hug.
"okay my angel, let me sing you a song okay?" seonghwa says and she nods, laying down completely and hw starts singing. i start patting her as his voice soothes her to sleep and i smile, feeling completely content in this moment. it's just me, my husband and my daughter and there's nothing and no one else that exists to me.
we hear a little snore and that's our confirmation that she's sound asleep. she really doesn't take time. we take turns giving her a kiss on the cheek before quietly exiting the room and going back to the kitchen to finish baking.
"baby?" seonghwa calls me and i hum. "don't you want another?" he asks and looks up from the pot and i glare at him, pointing a roller pin at him.
i can tell he's joking by his tone because he knows good and well that neither of us want another. in this economy? absolutely not.
"point taken."
we laugh and we continue baking for this bake sale we're both dreading.
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Text
Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark
Summary:
To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?
Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?
Content warnings for this chapter: implied gambling addiction, weapons, implied violence
AO3 link: Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark (2275 words) by She_posts_nerdy_stuff
Chapter One - Jesper
Jesper was late. Again.
He ran out the door of the Slat, jacket half-pulled over his creased shirt and the second sleeve obstinately hiding from him as he rushed into the street. The staves were quiet enough at this time for his hurry to be noticeable, but he didn't have time to care about the strangers glancing at him. He glanced at his watch as he ran, almost tripping over the cobbles. Nine bells. What time had he fallen asleep? He didn’t remember getting back to the Slat, but judging by the exhaustion clinging to his bones it couldn’t have been all that long ago. Dammit, Jesper. He knew he shouldn’t have gone out last night; he knew it would only end up with him being late this morning. But here he was, once again, trying desperately to pass as someone with reasonable respectability as he flew into the university district.
He was more than out of breath by the time he reached the dean’s office, trying to straighten his jacket and smooth his hands over his shirt. It was a deeply boring outfit; a once-white button down and a brown jacket, but Jesper had to forgo his usual Barrel flash on the occasional visits he bothered to make to the university. That didn’t mean he didn’t add his own little flares, of course, but he’d been in too much of a rush this morning to concern himself with that.
“I should have a meeting scheduled,” he said, “Jesper Fahey?”
The receptionist looked him up and down disapprovingly, then opened the almost comically oversized diary sitting on her desk.
“You’re late,”
You don’t think I know that?
“Sorry,”
“He had to start the meeting after yours. Should be another five minutes, but then he has a space open. You can wait over there,”
“Thanks,” 
She made a non-committal ‘mm’ sound, turning back to her other papers. 
Jesper sat opposite the receptionist’s desk, fidgeting, eyes on the door. Why had the dean called him to this meeting? The note had been frustratingly vague, and he’d only seen it because he was coincidentally back at his term-address to collect some fresh clothes when it arrived. There were three more on the table that he’d already missed, so he decided he’d better make it to this one. Maybe they were kicking him out - he wouldn’t be surprised. At least then the decision would be made for him. But if he was expelled, would they somehow inform his father? Jesper shuffled unhappily in his uncomfortable chair.
Another minute passed before the door clicked open and two people emerged through it - the dean, a tall Kerch man in his late forties trying to hide the fact that he was clearly going bald, holding the door for a boy Jesper recognised from one of his classes. A mercher kid, someone had told him on their first day, as they watched the boy walk in and take a seat, something Van Eck. Had some sorta accident when he was a kid, been blind ever since. He looked much younger than Jesper, though he knew they must be about the same age, with soft features and angelic, ruddy curls floating around his head like gravity had taken a liking to him and given them a free pass. Jesper had to admit, he found the kid intriguing. Even in the lessons he’d shown up to, he had several times caught himself studying the boy from across the room and had to force himself to look away. Even if whatever-his-name-was didn’t know he was staring, it still felt rude.
“Thank you, sir,” he was saying to the dean as he slipped through the door, slender cane tapping the ground in front of him.
It was almost rhythmic, like a beat that was waiting for someone to add a melody. The dean had noticed Jesper, he could tell, but waited until the Van Eck kid had left the room before he said:
“Mr Fahey. You came,”
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, and then when a brief pause added: “And that I missed the previous meetings you scheduled. I, er, had a problem receiving mail,”
“I see,” he said, a little coolly, eyes flicking over Jesper, “Well, come in,”
Jesper sat in front of the desk, drumming his fingers in his chair, waiting to be told that he was expelled. But the dean just droned on and on, without the final hit ever seeming to come.
“The only class you’ve attended in the last month is Economic Principles for Business and Markets - and even for that you’ve only attended three lessons,” he was saying, when Jesper suddenly remembered he was supposed to be listening and quickly tuned in, “Perhaps we could change your course load to classes more similar to this one, see if that helps motivate you. Do you enjoy Economics?”
Jesper did not. He shrugged.
“Not particularly,”
“Then may I ask why it’s the only class you’ve consistently attended? - even if you do have twelve late marks in it across the year,”
It hadn’t really been a conscious decision. It was an afternoon class, twice a week, easy to get to at least one of them if he got himself together enough - late enough that he’d probably be awake, early enough that he probably wasn’t on a job or in a gambling den. 
“I have a partner project in that class,” he said, truthfully, “I don’t want to let anyone down,”
“Perhaps you should consider not letting yourself down, Mr Fahey,”
Saints, he didn’t hold anything back did he? Jesper shuffled.
“Who’s your partner for this project?”
“Helena Dentte,”
The dean nodded.
“I’m going to switch who you’re working with,”
Jesper wasn’t sure what good that was supposed to do, but he didn’t argue. Helena was nice enough, but she was infuriatingly motivated and it drove him slightly mad when she suggested they meet to study after almost every class - and she probably hated his guts for the curse he was to be partnered with.
“What about the rest of your course?” he glanced through the papers on his desk, “You haven’t attended Comparative Literature - Kerch and Zemeni Poetry since going once last month, your other classes longer,”
Jesper just shrugged again. He was sinking slowly but surely deeper into his chair.
“Not for me,”
“We should look at changing your classes around then. Stick with the business class, whatever’s keeping you there I want to preserve it. But think about what else you’d like to study. If not economics or literature, Mr Fahey, what are you interested in?”
Unwelcome answers offered themselves up in Jesper’s head. He shuffled.
“I don’t know,”
The dean wasn’t particularly impressed. He told Jesper to come back in a week, with at least an idea of what else he might like to study. Sure, Jesper thought, that’s gonna happen.
“I’m very glad you came to this meeting, Mr Fahey. It’s the first step in making a change, and I am only here to help you,”
Jesper mumbled something of a thanks by way of reply as he slipped out the door and slouched away down the corridor.
“Jesper,”
A girl melted from the shadows and appeared at his shoulder, making Jesper jump out of his skin. His hand flinched reflexively towards the revolver hidden in his jacket, but got no further because it only took half a second to see who was talking to him.
“Saints - Inej, you scared the life out of me,”
Inej said nothing for a moment. They walked down the corridor together, would have been shoulder to shoulder if it weren’t for the fact that Inej’s head only just reached Jesper’s shoulder. He’d known Inej Ghafa only a short while, since she’d joined the Dregs a few months ago, but he already doubted he was ever going to get used to the way she appeared and disappeared so quickly, so completely. Never mind any other spiders crawling around in the Barrel, Jesper hadn’t met anyone who could do what Inej could do - to simply erase herself like that, to only be seen when she wanted you to notice her. She was also probably the toughest person he knew - except maybe Kaz, though honestly he might be more scared of getting on Inej’s bad side. Then again, if this was Kaz’s good side maybe he shouldn’t push his luck.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, as they turned the corner.
“Take a wild guess,”
She watched him for a brief moment.
“You’re a student?”
She sounded surprised. That was probably fair.
“Supposed to be. Anyway, I might ask you the same question,”
“Kaz is angry,”
“Kaz is always angry,”
“Kaz is angry with you,”
Jesper shrugged.
“That’s hardly news, Inej. He send you here to get his money? I’ll have it by tomorrow,”
“We both know that’s not true, Jes. And he didn’t send me,” said Inej, frowning, “I came to talk to you, to say you should steer clear of him for a couple of days,”
Really? That bad? Jesper frowned. What had he done to piss off Kaz Brekker this time? 
Inej was studying him, her dark eyes roving slowly over him, her frown remaining intact. She wasn’t exactly what Jesper had expected when Kaz told him a girl from the Menagerie was going to be moving into the Slat, but he wasn’t really sure what he’d been expecting. A broken wisp of a girl, he supposed. Inej wasn’t broken, though she’d clearly taken damage, and she could hardly be described as a wisp. Jesper had seen her fight more than enough times to trust that. 
Inej also had a particular skill for the disapproving look she could get to glitter in her eyes on command - or maybe Jesper just brought it out in her. She touched two fingers to one of the knives slung through her belt, murmuring something in Suli.
“Should you really be carrying those in here?” he asked.
Jesper wasn’t actually sure how many knives Inej had, but there must have been at least five on her person at any given moment. She shrugged.
“You have a revolver in your coat,”
“Yeah, in my coat,” he shook his head, “Not on show,”
Inej shrugged.
“Maybe I’m an arts student,”
“Why would an arts student be carrying a thousand knives?”
“Art, obviously,”
Jesper snorted.
“Obviously,”
They were almost outside.
“Just, you know, don’t get arrested,”
Inej smiled.
“I think you’re giving the stadwatch a little too much credit there,” her voice suddenly moved to Jesper’s other shoulder and he turned to try and see her, “Who could possibly arrest a Wraith?”
She was gone. It was broad daylight in a wide courtyard, and Inej Ghafa was gone. Jesper shook his head. Unbelievable. 
*
Jesper didn’t know exactly what he’d done to get on Kaz Brekker’s final nerve, but he wasn’t about to go and find out. He sifted through the piles of stuff stacked unhappily in his university dorm, trying to make enough space for the room to actually be liveable. When had he last slept on campus? Not recently. Maybe it was a good thing Kaz was mad at him, if it was going to keep him out of the Barrel for a few days. Maybe he could even look through the course catalogue, to keep the dean happy, and find out whoever else he was going to partner him up with for Business and Markets. Helena would probably be glad of the change. She could take her thousand and one notebooks to someone who might actually be able to contribute something. 
But why lie? Jesper was itching for a hand of cards. He lay on his back on top of the mattress, studying the ceiling and twisting one of his rings round and round his finger. Unless he snapped and ended up running into a den and just facing Kaz’s wrath, the rings he’d slept in last night were apparently the only flash he was going to enjoy for the next few days. What other clothes did he even have here? He didn’t remember seeing much else in the wardrobe when he came to grab these the other day. He should probably check. He’d do it in a minute.
The next thing Jesper remembered was waking up, jolting upright and almost whacking into the headboard. Damn, he really must have been exhausted. How long had he slept for? He was momentarily disorientated, fumbling for his watch and discovering that it was nearing twelve bells. The curtains were still open and the midday sun streamed through them, highlighting the dust floating through the air. Jepser sighed - just his luck, the single sunny day of the year Ketterdam would bother to grace them all with, and he had slept through most of the morning. He’d needed it though. 
Almost twelve bells. He could make it to his one o’clock class - what was it? Poetry, or something - if he got himself together. Or he could just lie here a little longer, watching the world go by outside his window. 
No. No, if he was here then he should go. He should at least try. 
It was his poetry class today - he checked the timetable shoved in the desk drawer - and it proved to be just as irredeemably boring as he remembered it. But he went. He took a notebook and the fountain pen his Da had given him when he got into university. He didn’t make any notes, but he took them with him. It was something. Sort of. 
He counted it, even if only to make himself feel slightly better.
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femalefemur · 2 days
Text
The Illusion of Freedom: Part One
part two
warnings: kidnapping, cannibalism, dead dove do not eat, please let me know if I missed anything!
word count: 2.6k
A/N: This is the first part of this work, while there is no actual cannibalism in this part there are some allusions to it and there is actual cannibalism in this work overall. I have also tried to make reader as gender neutral as possible with no real defining features, so I hope they do actually come across as gender neutral.
The weather was cold, wind howling as rain poured down in heavy sheets outside, making the night seem even darker than usual. There were no stars in the sky that you could see, no shining beacon in the darkness that was slowly seeping in all around you. All you had were the torches that lined the walls of your chambers, sitting on the bed before two loud thumps on the heavy wooden door brought you to your feet. 
Two of the men you had become familiar with guided you out of your room, the skull adorning the taller one’s face no longer scaring you as it once had and the unusual hairstyle on the other becoming normal. It had been months since you had been here, months of being pampered and fawned over, months of preparing and now the night had finally arrived. Your eyes focused on the torches and candles that lined the hallways of the castle as you walked towards the ceremonial chamber. 
The castle was ancient and had stood there since civilisation had started. It had stood tall and proud since humankind had learned to carve stone to make structures, back when everyday people would still sacrifice to the Gods. It housed you now, not royalty of any kind but the castle didn’t care as it had not been built to house royalty, even if they had occasionally taken residence in it. No, it was built to house magic, forces that humans still didn’t fully understand even if they dabbled in the mystic arts. Forces that were neither good nor evil but forces that demanded rituals and sacrifices. The magic was why you had been taken from your life and brought here to your demise. 
You had been walking to the market, it was early morning and the dew was still settling on the grass as you walked past the few fields of your family’s farm. The walk to the market was a long one and you hadn’t been able to take the horse as he was needed for another errand, so there you were, walking at the crack of dawn to the market. All of this just so you could sell some milk and hopefully buy a cake from the baker as a special treat for your younger sibling’s birthday. That dream had gone down the drain when you were about halfway to town. The gentle clinking of the milk bottles in your bag had been your only companion as you’d softly hummed to yourself and kicked a small rock, wanting to see how far you could take it without losing it. You hadn’t noticed the shadows lurking in the woods that grew on the side of the road, hadn’t noticed the odd silence that came from them. There was not a single bird nor insect chirping to signal a new day, just complete and total silence emanating from the tall trees that had stood like guards beside the road since the beginning of time. It had come as a surprise at the very least when a leather gloved hand had covered your mouth and muffled any attempt of a scream. Your teeth had no effect on the large man as you managed to clamp down on his fingers while you kicked and flailed, your bag crashing onto the road and the milk bottles shattering. Your last thoughts were of how disappointed your younger sibling was going to be with no cake as you watched the milk seep through the bag and onto the dirt road.
When you awoke you had found yourself in a plush bed, the sun high in the sky and a hulking figure watching you intently from the one dark corner in your room where the sunlight did not reach. You’d stared wide eyed as the figure stepped forward, the skull on his face causing you to take a sharp breath and clutch the duvet. You were sure you had died on that road, that this was the afterlife and the reaper was here to collect. It had to be. Why else would you be in such comfort? As the figure stepped forward and you remained frozen in place, you had realised that no it was not in fact the reaper coming for your immortal soul but rather a man. A large and imposing man who stared at you with honey brown eyes that seemed to hold a reverence for you that you had never seen before in your life. His gaze had made you shudder almost uncomfortably as you stared back at the man, watching him as he approached you and placed a hand gently on top of yours, that were still gripping the duvet with enough strength to leave your knuckles aching. 
“It’s alright, I won’t hurt you” his voice was rough and deep as he spoke, like stones grinding against each other but it wasn’t unpleasant, rather the opposite. 
“Where am I?” Your tongue had felt heavy and thick in your mouth, words seemed difficult to form and you had realised that your head had a dull thumping ache to it.
“Home.” It was the only answer he had given before he’d picked up the glass of water on the bedside table and pushed it into your hands.
You had stared at the water for a moment before deciding there was no harm in drinking it. If it was drugged then at the very least you wouldn’t be awake for whatever this giant of a man had planned. Nothing happened though, the water had slid down your throat cold and calming as you’d greedily drank every last drop. A pleased smile had stretched across your captor’s face before he’d placed the glass down and hoisted you into his arms, carrying you out of the room as you’d stared in shock. 
“Where are you taking me?” it had come out a lot softer than you’d intended and you had mentally kicked yourself for sounding so weak.
“To meet the others,” he replied.
“The others?” You’d frowned in confusion as you looked at him.
The faint sound of people chattering had filled your ears the closer you’d got to the room at the end of the hall. Intrigue had filled your mind and you’d stared intently at the doors as if you were willing your ears to make the muffled words clearer and listen to the conversation that had been so raptly taking place. The man whose arms you were in had pushed the heavy door open with ease, and the chatter had immediately stopped as all eyes had fallen onto you. You’d watched as the three other men in the room stood, all of them tall, though not as tall as the man who held you in his arms, and all of them handsome, almost devastatingly so. 
“Well aren’t they bonnie?” the shortest of them had grinned as he’d approached you, his blue eyes sparkling like crystals. 
“What are you going to do to me?” you’d stared at them all and curled a little further into the man who was holding you. 
“Nothing little lamb, nothing yet” a gruff chuckle had come out of the man closest to you, a beard on his face and deep blue eyes like the ocean that sucked you in, threatening to drown you if you looked too long.
Your brow furrowed at his answer but you nodded slightly despite your confusion. You were safe, for now at least, and that was all that mattered. You could devise a way to escape in the time you had and hopefully be gone before they did whatever it was they had planned. 
You’d watched them warily for the next few days as you explored the castle looking for an escape. You’d learned their names over the meals you all shared. The man with the skull on his face was known as Ghost, the shortest was Soap, the prettiest man you had ever laid eyes on was Gaz and the man with the beard, their leader, was John. You didn’t know any of their real names besides John’s and you’d suspected that they’d prefer to keep it that way. They were mages you had also learned and they were quite powerful, this castle was their home or rather they were custodians to it for as long as they walked this earth. It was their sacred duty to care for the castle, to protect it, fight for it and feed it. In turn they were given access to knowledge beyond the average human’s comprehension, knowledge so powerful that it was kept under lock and key at the hands of those who had long since left this plane of existence. 
During your exploration you had been followed by Gaz, he was the most trusted John had assured you, waving off Soap as he stared at you with hungry eyes and an open maw. Still you had felt slight discomfort as the beautiful man followed you and pointed out the architecture or priceless works of art that seemed to move when you looked at them from the corner of your eye. His gaze was too sharp, too keen as he watched every move you made, every twitch of your fingers and every breath that expanded your lungs. You felt like prey being watched by a predator that was far too smart to let you know it had been tracking you. A predator that would rather befriend you and lure you into his gaping maw with honeyed words and gentle gazes. Rather than a predator that would corner you as you shook from terror and sink its teeth into you, as you suspect Soap would do, given the chance. 
“Do you like the castle?” Gaz had asked one afternoon as you’d climbed the spiralling stairs of one of the towers.
“It’s beautiful…yes…” you’d nodded as you’d stared out beyond the castle grounds, squinting against the sunlight only to see the vast forest that surrounded the castle.
Gaz had laughed at your baffled expression, giving you a knowing look as you both stood there and looked at each other. 
“There’s no escaping here little lamb” he’d grinned at you, teeth sharp and glinting in the sunlight for a split second before he schooled his expression.
You had just nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat, staring out at the sea of trees and unfamiliar landscape. Even if you’d managed to leave the actual castle itself you’d never be able to exit the forest. It was too large, unnaturally so which made you suspect that there was magic at play in there. You would probably be found too quickly, which would be a mercy considering the other option would be to starve to death in the forest, or die from the unknown creatures that lurked in its depths. 
So you had accepted your fate, like an animal awaiting its slaughter at the hands of those who had raised it with love, fed it when it was hungry and sheltered it when it was cold. You were never told what exactly would happen to you, but from the snippets of conversations you’d overheard, you had gathered it was some kind of ritual and you were to be the sacrifice. You’d spent that day sitting in whatever sunlight you could find, desperate to soak in the warmth and hoping it would rid your mind of what you had heard. Gaz was by your side as usual as you stared up at the clouds and watched the shapes they made. Your mind drifted back to laying in the fields with your siblings and pointing at the clouds that were shaped like rabbits and cows. You had all laughed when you had spotted one shaped like the mean goose on a neighbouring farm, who would chase you if you so much as walked past their fence. Its toothed beak nipping at your heels as you ran as fast as you could to escape the tiny devil and reach your destination. 
Gaz had watched you intently as you both sat on the warm stone of the castle steps, his eyes glinting in the sunlight and making them seem like deep pools of amber that you could swim in forever. You’d stared back at him after a while of feeling his gaze on you, turning as he’d pointed out a cloud that looked like a horse. A small smile had graced your lips as you nodded and in turn pointed out one that looked like a house with a puffing chimney. That was how you had spent that afternoon, in the company of a man who was one of your captors but had also become a friend, or as close to a friend as you could have in this strange place. It had brought you some happiness and distracted you from the words you had overheard earlier. You had talked with Gaz for the rest of the afternoon as you both watched the clouds and pointed out interesting shapes to each other until the sun had finally set and you were ushered back inside, warmed from its rays. That night at dinner the others had picked up on your lightened mood. Soap had hounded you about what happened to make you change, at least until John had finally told him to leave you alone. You and Gaz had exchanged a look before laughing, all while Soap had looked between the two of you curiously.
The following days passed much the same, spending it with Gaz as you two talked, he’d ask about your family and you’d share all the details of your upbringing. In turn you had asked about his family but all you had gotten was a shrug and a wave of his hand as he told you that mages rarely ever knew their families, if they even had one to begin with. His words had piqued your curiosity but you’d decided not to push the man as you saw the glint of darkness behind his eyes as he had talked. Eventually Soap and Ghost joined you and Gaz, Ghost holding back Soap any time he got too close or pressed you too much for details of your life. 
You had settled into a semblance of a routine, you would wake up, make yourself presentable, adorning yourself in the fine silks and hand embroidered garments that lined your closet, have breakfast and then spend your day with the three men who now seemed to be permanently glued to your side. Most days you would have a picnic on the grounds with the other three, a plush blanket laid out under the giant oak tree and enough food to feed an army. You would laze in the warm air and watch the sunlight dance on the blanket as it filtered through the leaves of the tree. The three of you would often spend far longer than just lunch sitting on the blanket, either talking or in more recent days, the men would read you stories of far away lands and battles of old. This would last until you all decided it was time for an afternoon nap, a decision that was never discussed but rather occurred naturally as you each slowly fell asleep together on the blanket, huddled against each other in a snug pile. On days when you all had too much energy you would chase each other, running through the garden and the intricate maze as you all laughed and pushed against each other. This would last until the sun had set and you were forced to go inside. Blanket in hand as you all cleaned up before dinner, one of two meals where you would actually see and converse with John. After dinner you would retire to your chambers and the others would follow John to who knows where. You suspected they’d gone to hone their craft and read from texts that were transcribed in now long dead languages, to gain knowledge from those beyond the veil.
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merrybloomwrites · 3 days
Text
You Can Start a Family (Extra: Mitch x Reader Cockwarming)
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Summary: Y/N misses Mitch while he's away on tour and can't get close enough to him when he returns home. He comes up with a solution that leaves them both content.
Previous Chapters:
Main Story: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine ; Ten
Sickfic Part 1 ; Part 2
Mitchrry Prequel
Fan Reactions
Holiday Blues
Mitchryy Reunion
Getting High
First Earthquake
Word Count: 2K
CW: smut, cockwarming, p in v sex
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One thing you absolutely hate is goodbyes. Whether temporary or permanent, you despise having to separate from the people that you love.
It’s been a difficult few weeks for you. Mitch and Sarah left for tour almost a month and a half ago. Harry was with you for most of that time, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t missing the other two. You and Harry went to Mitch’s show in New York City, but the four of you weren’t able to get a minute alone. You couldn’t even spend quality time with them after the show since there were paps and fans tracking you and Harry.
The next day you flew back home to Ohio, Harry flew to London for a couple weeks to work, and Mitch and Sarah continued on to the next city.
It was even worse then, being completely alone in your big, empty apartment. The upside was that it was only a few days until the show nearby in Columbus and you’d be able to see Sarah and Mitch again.
But even at that show you weren’t able to spend too much time with them. This time Mitch’s family was there so the three of you had to be careful. They don’t fully know the extent of your relationship with Mitch and Sarah, and though you all plan to tell them someday, now doesn’t seem like a good time.
You are able to snuggle up next to Sarah for a little while since that’s something you two have always done. It feels nice to have her arm around you, to smell her familiar shampoo, and it settles you just enough to get through the end of the tour.
They finish the last couple of shows, and Sarah comes home to you. Unfortunately, Mitch has to go back to LA for a couple meetings, and your separation from him continues.
You spend a few days hanging out with Sarah before she leaves for a girl’s trip with some of her best friends. For two nights you’re alone again.
Finally, it’s the day Mitch is set to arrive home. You’re excited to finally see him and actually spend some quality time with him, but part of you feels anxious. You’re not entirely sure why, but you can’t shake this nervousness.
He arrives home as you’re cooking dinner, one of his favorite meals. You hear the door open but don’t greet him at the door like you normally would. He finds you standing at the stove, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pressing against your back and saying, “Hi baby.”
You turn your head, smiling and saying a quiet hello before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Mitch is taken aback by your less than warm welcome after so long apart, but then you say, “Sorry, I have to keep stirring this until it boils or else the sauce will congeal and burn and be totally gross.” It’s a valid explanation, but there’s something just a bit off about you at the moment.
“Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes,” you say.
“Can I help?” Mitch asks.
“No thanks, I’ve got it. Why don’t you shower? I know you normally like to after flights,” you suggest.
“Ok, sounds great. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He turns and starts to walk out of the room, stopping when you call his name. “Yea?” He questions.
“I’m glad you’re home,” you say before shyly adding, “I missed you.”
His face softens and he replies, “I missed you too, so much.”
You smile at his response before jokingly saying, “Now go, wash off the germs.”
“I’ll be quick.”
“You’d better. Don’t want another minute without you.”
He steps closer, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before heading to the bathroom. While he takes a quick shower he assesses the way you’d greeted him and what might really be happening here. He hopes that maybe you really were just focused on not burning dinner. But Mitch knows you too well. He knows there’s something else there. Whatever it is, he knows he needs to fix it.
The food is ready by the time he’s dressed, and it smells delicious. The two of you sit down to eat, and though everything seems normal during the meal, Mitch isn’t convinced.
He suggests watching a movie and you agree. Before it begins you go to change into pajamas, seeing how Mitch is already comfy in his sweats. You wear an oversized T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, knowing that once you cuddle up to Mitch his body heat will keep you warm. You stop in the bathroom, deciding to do a quick nighttime routine so you won’t have to do it after the movie, but rather go straight to bed.
A few minutes later you’re ready and you join Mitch on the couch. He’s sitting on the corner of your L-shaped sofa, legs stretched in front of him. You waste no time, quickly sitting against him. Your head finds its home on his chest, where you can hear his heart, feel the rhythm of his breathing. His arm instinctively wraps around your shoulders, holding you close.
“This good?” He asks, referring to the romcom he’d pulled up on the TV.
“Yea, I like this one,” you reply, before tucking your face into the crook of his neck.
He presses play, but the movie doesn’t hold his attention. He’s purely focused on you, and your actions. You always love to cuddle, especially when you've been separated from your partners, but it’s like you’re trying to literally get under his skin. Mitch notices even the slightest movements as you continue to shift, never fully settling.
Halfway through the movie he feels your hand move to his shirt and grip the material tight. He can’t stand it anymore, he needs to know what’s going on in your head. So, he casually says, “You okay?”
“I’m good,” you quickly reply.
“Are you sure? You seem a bit, I dunno, upset maybe. I’m just not sure why.”
You’re quiet for a minute, unsure how to answer. Because he’s right, you are upset, but you’re not even fully sure what it’s about.
Finally, you reply, “I just really missed you.”
Mitch is quiet, hoping that you’ll explain a bit more.
After another moment you add, “It was just harder to be away from you than I’d expected. Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for you and so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. But selfishly, I really missed you. And then I’d see all the pictures and videos of you hugging and talking to all those other girls.”
“And you were jealous of them? I promise, they’re just fans, baby. You and Sarah are the only girls for me.”
“I mean, I know that. And I know they weren’t coming on to you or anything. I was just jealous that they got to see you and hug you and I couldn’t. I wanted to be in your arms, and it like, physically hurt to not feel you for so long.”
“C’mere,” Mitch murmurs, pulling you so that you’re straddling his lap. He cups your face, encouraging you to look him in the eyes. “Those girls may have gotten a hug then, but you get me for life. Even if I’m gone for a while, I’ll always come back. And I’ll always hold you in my arms. Way tighter than I’d hug a fan.”
“I know,” you reply.
“But something’s still bothering you,” Mitch states, picking up on the way you continue to shift restlessly on his lap.
“I really don’t know what it is. I feel like I can’t physically get close enough to you. Like, I know you’re here, but part of me still doesn’t believe that,” you admit.
Mitch is quiet for a minute, thinking of what he can do to help you. He thinks for a minute and comes up with an idea. He’s not sure it will work, not sure if you’ll agree to it or not, but he has to try.
“You said you can’t get close enough?” he questions.
“Yea, it’s like I wish I could just merge us into one person,” you reply with a laugh.
“I mean, we kind of can,”
“Are you saying we could have sex?”
“Not exactly.”
You look at him for a second and say, “Explain.”
“Okay, you know how sometimes when we do have sex, you want me to stay inside for a bit after we finish?”
You blush and nod, knowing exactly what he’s talking about. You’re not sure why you like that so much, but it always makes you feel so safe and loved.
“Have you ever heard of cockwarming?” he asks, and you shake your head no.
“Basically, it’s that, but without the sex first. We just relax together but I’d be inside of you.” You take in his words and imagine doing what he described and a flush runs through your body. Mitch watches as your cheeks turn even pinker and your pupils dilate.
“Do you want to try?” he asks, needing to know exactly how you’re feeling.
“Yes, please, can we try that? How do we start?” Mitch smiles gently at your eagerness before leaning in to press a kiss against your mouth.
“Well first we have to warm up a little bit,” he says and leans back in for a deeper kiss. Your mouth moves with his, and you feel arousal building in your belly as wetness starts to seep into the boxers you’re wearing. Mitch moves his hands to your hips, and gently presses you lower so you can feel his length hardening beneath you.
He helps you maneuver out of your bottoms, and you shiver as the cold hair touches your sensitive center. Mitch then pulls himself out and wastes no time before running his tip along your folds.
“You sure baby?” He asks, checking once more for consent.
“I’m sure. I want you. I need you closer.”
At that he doesn’t hesitate. He gently slides inside of you, and you practically sob in relief. He fills you perfectly, feels so warm in you. You wrap your arms around his neck, shifting slightly to get comfortable and his arms wrap around your lower back, holding you to him.
Finally, you settle. No more fidgeting or restless movement. You’re perfectly content, physically attached to the man you love and missed.
You lose track of time, not noticing when the movie ends and another one begins. All you’re aware of is Mitch, how you can feel him everywhere. His hands gently caress your skin, his lips randomly press kisses to your face as he whispers how much he loves you.
Eventually Mitch is softly shaking you to wake you up. You breathe him in as you stir, slightly dazed, but it all comes back to you as you shift your hips and feel him still nestled inside of you. You let out a quiet moan, a new wave of desire running through you at the realization.
Without thinking, you lift your head to crash your mouth back to Mitch’s. He meets your enthusiasm with his own and what started out gentle earlier now becomes desperate. He carefully moves you so you’re laying on your back with him on top. He checks in again to make sure you’re on the same page before he begins thrusting.
It only takes a few minutes before the two of you are coming together, the feeling of him coating you making you feel even warmer inside than before. You whimper as he pulls out, feeling empty, but better than before. After a few more kisses, Mitch carries you to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
You both climb into bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. That night you sleep more soundly than you have in weeks, and Mitch knows this won’t be the last time you spend an evening with him resting inside of you.
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AN: Thanks for reading! I have one request for this story that I'm working on but if anyone has more just let me know!
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