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checkoutmybookshelf · 3 months

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Mixing Magic and Science to Shape Dragon Breath

I'd be lying if I said dragons weren't my favorite magical creatures. There are literally two of them on my desk right now, and I have handed more people the Temeraire books than I care to count. That said, the vast majority of my dragon experience is with what I'm gonna call white westerner dragons. If they're not literally fantasy British, they're inspired by fantasy British dragons, and the dragon world is just a lot bigger than that. So I was absolutely delighted to find a book with a Nampeshiwe and broaden my dragon horizons. Let's talk To Shape A Dragon's Breath.

When Kasaqua chooses Anequs to be Nampeshiweisit, it is largely a matter of safety that first convinces Aneques to leave Masquapaug to learn the skiltakraft to effectively Shape Kasaqua's breath. However, this is an Indigenous woman walking into the heart of Fantasy North America with flavors of Fantasy Nordic Countries, so... colonialism, white supremacy, racism, and imperialism are massive themes and major roadblocks that Anequs experiences. And experiences again. And again. And again. From literally everyone, from her friends, to uneasy allies, to indifferent classmates to bitter enemies. The nuance and variation in the racism that Anequs goes head to head with was stunning--as in it left me absolutely stunned.

On top of that, the world is developed to the point that Frau Kuiper keeps laying out multifaceted, multi-party political issues and Anequs just keeps having to go "literally all of these perspectives share the assumption that my people are uncivilized and need either exterminating or civilizing. What if we tried assuming we are people just as civilized as you with a culture culture traditions just as deeply held?" It's amazing how many characters tell Anequs that she is rude for suggesting that she is a person. Like the number of people I wanted to punch while reading was astounding.

That said, no character in this book is a simple allegory or one-dimensional caricature. Theod Knecht was separated from his family and his people at birth and raised to believe that the other way to be a person was to be Anglish--and even then, he could never be Anglish enough to be fully human. His arc is the complicated emotions of unlearning a system that says you have no worth and reconnecting with your people.

Sander is Anglish and coded as Autistic, but he and Anequs have one of my favorite friendships in this book. They take each other day by day on their own terms and at their own paces, and honestly Sander is just a sweetheart.

Liberty is in an interesting position because she is indentured and living in an Anglish society, which prohibits same-sex relationships. Which does not stop Anequs from expressing her feelings for Liberty in ways that are safe and supportive of Liberty. These two are darling and I genuinely cannot wait to see where they go in the sequel.

Then we come to Kasaqua. Kasaqua is just literally playfulness and joy in dragon form, and she is a delight. She isnt as talkative as say Naomi Novik or Rebecca Yarros's dragons are, but she is expressive and personality-filled nonetheless. There is also her deep-seated joy at [redacted because that's kind of a major spoiler and I don't want to spoil this book].

All these relationships really form and solidify at Kuiper's Academy of Natural Philosophy and Skiltakraft, to which Anequs receives a full sholarship. The school is like a mix of senior high school and undergrad at university, since students between 16 and 20 attend. Most of the students are male, with Anequs and Marta the only female students in attendance for this book. The school is run by Frau Kuiper, who, in her day, basically pulled a Mulan/Alanna of Trebond to get chosen by a dragon, trained, and then sent to the front of a war where she distinguished herself. Her "pet project" to to use Anequs and Theod to "prove that nackies can be civilized" which is honestly pretty gross and causes a metric ton of friction between her and Anequs. In the process though, Anequs learns lessons that it is debatable whether Frau Kuiper meant to teach her that I think will let her be heard in Anglish society enough to support and preserve her people.

Overall, this book was amazing. It was HEAVY, but it needed to be, and that weight just adds to the reading experience. This is one of those books that just literally everyone should have to read at some point.

#to shape a dragon's breath #moniquill blackgoose #anequs #kasaqua #indigenous literature #indigenous main character #indigenous dragons #dragons #books and reading #books and novels #books #books & libraries #book recommendations

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autisticgirliesbracket · 11 months

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What makes Midori Asakusa from Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Asakusa-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a low-quality screenshot of Midori Asakusa sitting on a large orange beanbag. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"She's clearly excited about animation and often ends up infodumping about stuff she's interested in, she often is in "her own world" and ends up goofing around during club work when alongside her friends in the film club, but also she gets clearly anxious and uncomfortable around strangers, stumbling over her words and clutching her plush bunny when trying to explain stuff to the student council. i just love having a character who can be BOTH silly and excitable and also more shy and awkward around different groups of people... relatable tbh (also a good article: www.animeherald.com/2022/07/02/a-neurodivergent-examination-of-eizoukens-asakusa-midori/amp/)"

"She loves animation. She knows so much about animation. She has drawings full of sketches and concepts and I will be honest with you I am not great at infodumping because I have bad memory but BELIEVE ME SHE HAD THE TISM SO MUCH"

"when i see her im like yaaay yaaay yaaay inthink its a sign"

"Our girlie here is NOT neurotypical! From the first pages of the first chapter we discover her special interests in the place she lives in and in animation as a medium (she infodumps). This results in several notebooks worth of schematics of the town and how it could be used as the base for wordbuilding an interesting setting for a cartoon. She also piles up vehicles sketches with detailed internal structure. In a later chapter she thinks so much about how a giant robot would work that arrives at the conclusion it would not work and tries to scratch the whole project she and her friends are working on, because if she cannot make it work irl other people would notice. The only way her friend could make her continue to work on the mecha suit stuff is convincing her that she was not making it for "other people" but for her own enjoyment. With this new rule in place she can move on. Asakusa does not fare well in crowds and with strangers. She constantly pushes forward her friend to do the speaking and when she speaks up for herself she rambles in dialect or uses quotes and catchphrases to keep the momentum. She gets soooo distracted by small things. A piece of obsidian in the back of the schoolyard, how did it get there? And oh my god I know we where talking about something serious but IS THAT A TANUKI? Also do not tell me a neurotypical sixteen years old girl has ever saved up for a big army regulation backpack to stuff it with things like a torchlight, a multitool, several feet of paracord, light-up shoes, and a stuffed bunny. She needs them to explore closed down buildings even if she is afraid of the dark. She needs her emotional support bunny." End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #keep your hands off eizouken!#Midori Asakusa

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mimjandoodlesstuff · 1 year

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April Fusions haha

They kept rotting my brain for a hot second so I started writing up concepts myself, but then this ask properly sprung me into action. @bluepeachstudios you've done it again with the hinting!

I suppose the only really interesting things about these takes are how I named them. I already have a fusion storyline planned for my own TMNT iteration, and the Turtles fuse with April in it so I combined their names there. I didn't want to do that again here, so instead I took a more unique approach. I named them after each of the Turtles' VAs' birthday months (because, you know, April). I mean, why not utilise canon/meta/out-of-universe facts for a project like this? I can't do this for my own characters. I did have two rules in place in case any of them overlapped, of which I was forced to use one.

May

May is probably my least favourite out of the bunch. There's really nothing about her that screams Leo besides like- a shell, blue eyes, injuries... It's probably therefore not surprising I drew her first, so I really didn't know what I wanted to emphasise and so on. I should probably have had her face the camera more to get a better sense of her jawline. Make sure to make it nice and boxy lol

The plastron pride flags are demigirl, aroace and lesbian. While I do in my heart of hearts believe Leo has a not insignificant crush on Captain Ryan, I still wanted our gal to be a flaming lesbian despite that lol.

March

March was incredibly fun to draw, and not just because @bluecookiesabi is an absolute joy to hang out with (thank the heavens for Discord streams!). I just really like drawing more feminine characters. I had most likely already sketched both May and March before I found the ask so I didn't know March is agender, but I don't think that's a problem at all. Agender people are allowed to be feminine, after all. And I don't consider Donnie to be some pinnacle of masculinity to begin with.

I figured, since the fic tags state that Donnie's autistic here, I'd give March just fluffy socks and slippers to keep dust and dirt from their feet for sensory reasons. That is definitely not projection on my part.

They're kind of giving 2003 April vibes with their hair in a bun. That was a happy accident which I'm really glad I kept to.

January

January is just green April. Hers and Mikey's designs are already so incredibly similar in-canon I'm convinced she'd look pretty much exactly like him had she been mutated into a turtle. I didn't even feel the need to open January's eyes since they'd just be the same shade of blue more or less.

I don't have much to say about him other than she was fun to draw. Gymnastics poses are honestly kind of therapeutic to draw. But also, how are they able to make that pose? The answer is simple: January is just built different.

I also labelled xir as only aroace since I don't know what you have planned for Mikey.

September

I'm really happy with how he turned out. While sketching I couldn't get the pose really working but once I did she really came together. I'd say September is the only Fusion (besides maybe March) that actually looks like the people he's made up of merged. Raph's stocky build fits April surprisingly well. And the choice to give her April's kunoichi getup but tattered was a really good idea in my opinion, and I'd like to give @pechtothevoid the credit they are so deservedly owed for that idea.

While not fic accurate at all, I had such a difficult time coming up with a good weapon for September. Who knew combining sai with tessen would be difficult? So instead I gave her a boomerang, which reminded me of Sokka, so I just straight up gave him Sokka's boomerang. I like the idea of her, upon fusing, just snagging Sokka's boomerang from the Mae Whitman-verse and using it as a blunt force weapon. I wanted to in a similar vein give him the One Ring from the Sean Astin-verse, but I couldn't get that to look good no matter how I placed it.

I like the name rules I came up with. Basically, since I didn't know in which months any of their actors were born in I had to come up with a replacement idea for naming in case any of them happen to overlap. The first rule was that if Rob and Greg happened to share a month with anyone else, the Donnie and Mikey Fusions would automatically get assigned December and May respectively. If Seth or Sean were to have overlapped with anyone, Leo's and Raph's Fusions would get the/a month whose first letter is the closest to either character's first name. March and January checked out, but since Seth and Sean are both born in February, I was forced to assign Leo and Raph May and September each. Small price to pay, honestly.

Tcest DNI and NO REPOSTING. Both groups can go die UwU

#mimjan draws #mimjan draws fanart #do not repost #tmnt 2012 fanfic #tcesters leave or you will mutate into car bacteria #once again did 'Fusions' eat any semblance of braincells I have #it's such a good fic and trope though so who can blame me?#and trying to combine characters that are completely different animal species and sexes into one was unsurprisingly really difficult #but a fun challenge in creativity and problem solving #I should do these kinds of projects more often. they're fun #even if the lack of clear sex characteristics in the Turtles' designs infuriated me #I seriously had no plastron shape to mess around with and make more androgynous smh #they didn't even look male in the show itself since they're flat/convex so I had to mess with the Fusions' plastrons in some other way

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thecultofcupid · 4 months

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ROTTMNT Headcanons:

i decided that i wanted to infodump about my headcanons for the turtles specifically :> due to the fact that I am a fictive, this is influenced a little bit by our fictives/exomemories. but YEAH i just wanted to ramble a lot and you should go stream rottmnt and support the team bcuz it deserves all the love in the world yeah ok lets go

Leo

extremely transmasc. like this guy is so transmasc

uses he/him pronouns exclusively but would probably accept being misgendered purely for comedic effect (only by his family or friends tho)

says he's bisexual but he prefers to call himself queer

tell me this man does not have ADHD you can't

acts superior to hide his debilitating inferiority complex

struggles with insomnia. has developed ways of managing his sleeping problems, but they still win out every now and then

Post-Movie

deals with PTSD-related dissociation. it's pretty damn bad

the WORST internalized ableism you've ever seen

loses the arm anyway. my headcanon is that krang prime got ahold of it as his siblings were pulling him out of the portal

the worst patient you've ever seen. he is constantly plotting escape

almost constantly wearing a knee brace. he's supposed to use crutches but often tries to get away with not doing so. has a wheelchair for bad pain days but he refuses to use it most of the time bc he's stubborn

insomnia gets way worse, partly due to night terrors and partly due to chronic pain. sleep does not come easy to this guy

Raph

bigender; she/him pronouns with a preference for fem terms

likes who she likes; doesn't feel the need to put a label to his sexuality

she is autistic bc I said so

PLURAL!! she has OSDD-1a and has a system of 3 or 4 other alters not including herself (Mind Raph is kind of up in the air for me, but the others are Little Red, Angel, and Savage)

dislikes swearing, in part because Little Red picks up on it and will not stop once he starts /hj

Post-Movie

blind in right eye bc of the krang

most of his complications are PTSD related; nightmares, dissociation, etc

was always a bit mindful of his size compared to his surroundings/family, but after the movie, it becomes a lot more prevalent. she is terrified of hurting her loved ones again

nerve damage in one arm from opening the portal; causes pain/numbness/tingling and minor muscle spasms. Donnie made compression gloves to help with this

Mikey

genderfluid; shifts between she/he/they pronouns

aroace

ADHD

LOVES body art. will always have something new painted onto his arms or plastron

since he can't really reach his carapace to paint on it, he convinces his siblings to let him paint on theirs. will often be found in Donnie's lab painting their carapace while they work

loves hanging out in Donnie's lab while they work

Post-Movie

suffered the worst in terms of damage to his arms

deals w chronic fatigue and brain fog after opening the portal

wears compression gloves from Donnie almost 24/7. has to be reminded to take them off

Donnie

nonbinary/autigender. uses they/them pronouns primarily, but also uses he/him and it/its on occasion. loves telling people that they "identify as a threat"

THE disaster bisexual

WEAPONIZED AUTISM

doesn't get enough sleep not because they're an insomniac, but because they hyperfixate on projects for days at a time and will not sleep until either a) they're done working, b) one of their siblings forces them to go to bed, or c) they simply crash on their desk out of exhaustion

for a self-proclaimed genius, they're not very good at taking care of themselves

has nonverbal episodes and uses sign language to communicate during them. however, he and Leo both learned morse code as well so they could have their own "secret language" that only they understood

the worst eyesight. like it's god awful. they wear custom-made contacts when they're outside the lair, but they also have glasses for days when they can't be bothered

has bitten every member of his family at least once

has eaten the family goldfish before (not Piebald)

has claw-like scars across their carapace from the shredder. change my mind

Post-Movie

scarring on carapace from Technodrome and being ripped from the control panel. it looks worse than it is

has trouble eating due to sensory issues

suffers from tactile hallucinations. has to have something on their shell at all times

has seizures resulting from the Technodrome connecting with his central nervous system

that's all i have rn. there's so many headcanons that I didn't include here just cus it'd be a mess but pls ask me questions cus I love talking about these guys. and ofc ask questions about other characters as well, not just the turtles!! i wanna do more art featuring some of our headcanons as well so look forward to that >:))

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neurotypical-sonic · 1 year

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It's interesting that you bring up ableism and internalised ableism as a parallel between Shadow and Tails because I have a headcanon that since we don't really know how the rest of the ARK took to Shadow compared to Maria, Gerald and the Commander, while he was at least accepted by his adoptive sister, the other inhabitants were afraid of him and/or didn't treat him like an actual person due to his origins, similar to how Tails was ostracized for his polymelia

Oh SO many thoughts on this. I really want to write I proper in depth post at some point but I want to answer this NOW so just uhhh very roughly for now:

SHADOW. His particular brand of internalised ableism does stem from how he was treated on the Ark. Before I say anymore I'm gonna quickly note i still haven't finished playing sa2 or watched the cutscenes of shth, so take this with a grain of salt. The scientists on the Ark were very ableist towards Shadow, but not intentionally or in a noticeable way. He was Project Shadow, the ultimate lifeform, and so when he acted more like a person, flaws and all, and not like a Project, and especially when he showed symptoms of autism, he was reprimanded, told that there wasn't any excuse that he should be better.

I think about this a lot, I could say and explain more but I won't yet. Yes Gerald and Maria loved him, but this was the 50s and also people who love you can hurt you. Gerald hurt him sometimes, careless words and actions that cut deep into Shadow's soul. Maria's also autistic, and she never hurt Shadow, she was nothing but loving and supportive of Shadow. But Shadow had to watch Maria receive the support that he was denied because he was supposed to be Better Than That. Maria did her best to extend that same support to him, to make everyone else treat him the same, but there was only so much she could do.

Most of Shadow's internalised ableism comes from that way of thinking, he's supposed to be Above that. He's the ultimate lifeform!! He shouldn't be acting or feeling like this, it's childish and stupid!!

TAILS had similar when he was younger! the dehumanisation, the being told you should be better than that etc etc. I'm getting really tired I'm gonna have to wrap this up soon. And he put that thinking on himself - for a start it was a survival/coping mechanism, he was abandoned and left to fend for himself, so he told himself that he couldn't afford to be childish, he was above it all. He didn't have anyone to lean on for support, and he couldn't provide it for himself, so he convinced himself he didn't need it.

Then he met Sonic and suddenly he HAD that support. long story short, it took a lot of time and effort to deal with that particular brand of internalised ableism, and he still struggles with it sometimes, but Tails found his support system a lot younger than what Shadow did, and has more time to start to heal. Shadow has only just started that journey. This is making it sound like Tails is 100% fine now, I promise I'm not saying that I'm just really simplifying things

AND SO Shadow sees himself in Tails, a lot. Especially autism wise. He sees tails exhibit the same symptoms as him, ones that Tails has grown comfortable with and accepted as himself, but one's that Shadow still believes he should be above, that he should be BETTER. And Shadow projects on to Tails, hard, and ends up taking it out on Tails, and so all that internalised ableism just becomes regular ableism. Shadow genuinely doesn't mean to be an asshole, in his mind he's trying help Tails be Better, but like. Still ableism, dude

I hope all this, especially the last part, makes sense. I'm so sleepy I'm about to drop off at any moment. I want to talk more about how Shadow projects his internalised ableism onto Tails in more detail but later

#me: i dont want this to get too long #immediately writes a huge wall of text #ask #anon #egg.txt #sonicposting #tails #shadow #shadow&tails

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balatrospades · 1 year

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rottmnt hcs because im hyperfixating still!! also i drew the pictures used myself, if u were wondering xp

leonardo

cinthean/mlm, demi-romantic, asexual

trans man, he/him!!

definitely has insomnia to some degree

adhd haver

drinks diet coke and energy drinks instead of water. raph chastises him constantly over it

doesn't usually drink coffee but absolutely loves frappuccinos and begs april to buy him some whenever she's going out

because of what happened in the prison dimension, he deals with chronic back pain and has to take pain killers whenever it starts to rain

LOVES hot showers (donnie had to install at least 3 extra boilers bc leo kept using up all the hot water and it pissed the others off)

he always portals himself to the nearest beach to take a quick dive whenever he gets too stressed

blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes are his favorite

he tends to be slightly more superstitious than his brothers due to splinter being very superstitious and it rubbing off on him (it annoys donnie to no end which only encourages him)

mikey convinced him to paint his nails one time and he just never stopped painting them

donnie

biromantic and asexual

non-binary, he/they

absolutely has autism tbh (i think this was confirmed as canon but im not entirely 100% sure so im listing it as a headcanon just in case)

insomnia but it's mostly self imposed due to getting super fixated on wanting to finish a certain project

usually drinks black hot coffee since it's the easiest kind to make but he prefers iced coffee that's slightly sweetened

much like leo, mikey convinced them to paint their nails and they never really stopped ever since

soundproofed the garage so he could blast his jammy jams at ungodly hours of the night without disturbing anyone

despite typically being touch adverse, they always request raph to firmly grip onto their arms or shoulders when they're about to have a meltdown since it helps ground them enough to not have it progress to intense levels (this is especially the case if and when they don't have access to a weighted blanket)

instead of being unable to make eye contact the way most autistic people are, he tends to make very intense eye contact for a very prolonged period of time because he doesn't understand social queues about why he needs to occasionally look away (unless he's requested to not make eye contact with whoever he's speaking with, of course) (it's usually mikey who asks tbh)

his favorite kind of pancakes are banana pancakes

raph

aroace!

non-binary, he/him or no pronouns and just his name

mostly drinks water with maybe a little lemon though raph does occasionally like hot coco. absolutely no caffeinated drinks, it always makes raph anxious and shaky

also a big chamomile tea enjoyer

paints his nails for fun and it inspired mikey to quickly follow suit

major separation anxiety and hates not being able to see raph's brothers at all times

has schizophrenia but has been able to cope decently well with his family as a support line. it's a very big contributing factor as to why raph is so doting on raphs brothers; he'll randomly hear voices whispering to him that his brothers are being hurt and it worries him to no end, even though he's aware the voices aren't real

likes strawberry pancakes but tends to prefer strawberry waffles

bottles up and internalizes raphs emotions because raph is convinced that raph absolutely needs to be a rock for raphs family

has an absolutely massive plushie collection and is delighted whenever he's given a new plushie

mikey

aroace, just like raph :]

genderfluid, he/they/she/xe

adhd haver to the highest degree

also has autism, specifically on the high empathy scale

favorite thing to make is pancakes! he has a cookbook filled with recipes that he either tweaked to his liking or made up himself; it even has little blips of information telling him how to make it to his brother's liking

regular pancakes with nutella on them are mikey's go-to type of pancake

very persistent on making sure the entire family eats a healthy diet every day, though isn't immune to letting them have off days

tends to use a mix of crayons, watercolor, gel pens, and colored pencils when doing art that's not graffiti/spray paint art

they have a very strong intuition and it's pretty hard to lie about your emotions to them

while she loves helping people through their problems, specifically her brothers, she always feels guilty when trying to talk about her own problems

xe has had to deal with numbness in xis hands every since opening the portal to save leo. xis hands will occasionally start shaking very bad and xe'll need someone to help massage the tremors out, or xis hands will randomly drop whatever xe was holding and xe'll need to stretch xis hands for a second before they work again. xe finds it irritating sometimes but xe's adjusting better every day

okay that's all i have, thx for reading my dumb little headcanons :]

#rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt fandom #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt

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nami-lvr · 1 year

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Correct OP Headcannons

Ft: Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Robin, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Brook, and Franky!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

A/N: Hey guys! First post YAYAYAYYAYAY 🔥🔥 I love love love the silly show smsmsm and the next part will include Mihawk, Doffy, Cora, Buggy, and Crocodile!

Luffy

Erm I don’t have much for him

SIKE

Bro smells

Does not wash his ass

Has those back pimple thingys and lets you pop them (GROSS!!!)

Band kid

For sure

100% a band kid

iPad kid as well

Can’t do anything without entertainment

Has autism

If you disagree you don’t like autistic ppl :/ (JOKING OFC!!)

I think his special interest would be pirates bc he thinks they’re cool

Has greasy hair

Smells bad (knows) doesn’t care

Doesn’t floss his damn teeth

HAS CROOKED TEETH FIGHT ME ON THIS

Needs braces

Doesn’t get them bc this fool won’t take care of them

Paints his nails

Extremely ugly and bright colors

Cat shit green

Dog puke brown

Effervescent Shitstain

Whatever he can find

Usopp

My bbg would also be a band kid

Would not do anything with his hair.

At all.

Not even pick through it.

Goddamn it Usopp YOUR SCALP IS FALLING. OUT.

WASHYOURFUCKINGHAIRBOY

I swear

He just lets that shit grow

Won’t even loc up.

Istg DO SOMETHINF WITH UR HAIR

Only pulls bitches in his late teens/early adulthood because he doesn’t look 5 anymore

I’m convinced he has a gyatdayum uhhh

Fat ass

HAD TO SAY IT

Im positive that if he was real he would have that THANG just THANGin up back there

Grabbable asf

Nami

Popular pretty nice girl

Pick me (sorry!)

Would smell like strawberries for sure

Would be the girl to always have lotion on her

Would willingly take Spanish and be invested in it

Would always have gum on her

Lie about having gum on her so people won’t ask

People ask anyways

Definitelyyyy is the girl who only hangs out with guys (no shade to girls who do)

Not bc she gets along better

But because of Sanji 🙁

Literally they’re there to protect her from him (can you tell I hate Sanji yet 😛)

Basic white girl BUT I STILL LOVE HER

Stan Nami ong

She would be so proud of her friends

“Nami I got a 90% on my tes-“

“YAYYY! WERE GOING OUT TO EAT!”

So supportive

Very erm

Tough love kinda gal

You definitely have to WORK to be her friend

Robin

I heavily headcannon that she speaks Russian. (I’m projecting 😊)

She would teach you Russian for sure

And be like

Super nice about it

I love Robin

She is so

🩷🩷

Guys hear me out

She is a cat person

Would always wear fuzzy socks

Prefers the cold

She is allergic to grass fight me

Does yoga I can feel it in my bones

Would do yoga with you

Definitely bakes

Her favorite show is something true crime related

Zoro

Cmon man

This guy is so likeable

Dyes his hair a different color every month depending on what the awareness for that month is

As in blue for child abuse awareness month and green for mental health awareness month and so on

But no one knows that that’s why

They just think its cool

But he knows

He knows.

And I just think he would be the kind of guy to help the teachers clean the classroom

Straight C student

Sleeps in class

Has neck problems

Complains about said neck problems

Cycle repeats

Everyones friend

Natural born leader fr

Every tía would pass him the baby

He’s incredibly good with kids and wants some of his own

BUT!!!!

He is asexual

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Makes fun one people to their face (me for real)

Sanji

I fucking hate Sanji. Not sorry! He is weird 😁🫶🏻

Would probably grab my ass

Would probably stare at my boobs

(I’m a well built gal)

Chopper

My son

I adopted him back in erm

1800

Yes

Mexicans existed in the 1800’s and I adopted him then so

Everything I say from now on is cannon bc he is my son :p

Paints his nails

Bites his nails

Has autism

Bc I said so

Definitely loves plain pasta

Like thats his favorite food

Brook

Erm

I don’t really like him either-

SIKE YOU THOUGHT

Bro is a stoner

No more questions

Tokes it up in the back of class

Gives no fucks if he gets caught

The kinda guy you wanna smoke your first joint with

Extremely good trip sitter

I feel like

I really feel like

I hope hope hope

He would dislike Sanji for being perverted and see that its bad and change his ways

💔💔💔💔

Brook recovery arc bc i say so

#brook redemption arc

Franky

The fun uncle

Everyone loves Franky

Loud drunk

Extremely loud drunk

Noise complaint loud kinda drunk

Still funny as shit thought

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self-winding · 11 months

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Related to my thoughts in the last reblog:

I think there is this discomfort with the idea that being a marginalized person and being a bigot can coexist. Because once you acknowledge that, things get very messy and complicated very fast.

“We need to support black people and disabled people! We need to listen to them and believe them, even when they’re saying things we don’t like! Oh...wait, this disabled black woman is homophobic? She just compared gay sex to that thing dogs do when they hump someone’s leg? Uh...well, listen to this part of what she’s saying, but not this part. And not that part, either. Shit, now she’s complaining that we’re ‘silencing’ her. Actually, let’s find a different one.”

“We need more gay voices! We need more neurodivergent voices! Oh, here’s a gay autistic person. Let’s hear what they have to say! Wait, they hate immigrants? Oh, and they’re...really into anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Let’s, uh. Let’s keep looking.”

“We need more NB perspectives! More trans perspectives! Oh, here’s o--they’re a TERF? How does that even work?!”

To be clear, marginalized people are not more likely to be bigots than anyone else. But they are also not less likely. Because cognitive bias is part of the human condition, and bigotry is not a rare and special kind of evil, it is a thing that’s just kind of all around and messily mixed up with who people are, because it’s coming out of common human feelings like pain, fear, anger, and the need to make sense of a messy and confusing world by pushing it into some kind of good vs. evil narrative.

It’s not really a new observation, but there’s a tendency (particularly among left wing folk) to fetishize marginalized people as being more morally pure, because of the idea that suffering or being an outsider naturally imbues someone with more empathy, and...yeah, no, it doesn’t work that way. It’d be nice if it did, and there are some people who develop empathy in response to suffering, but often it’s just directed at people with circumstances extremely similar to their own, people they can easily project themselves onto, rather than toward anyone who has suffered. (We’ve all witnessed the phenomenon of Oppression Olympics, where everyone involved is convinced that their own specific pain is the most real and systemic.) And just as often, suffering can make people harsh and unforgiving. Because people naturally want to start looking around for an enemy to blame.

A lot of people also, ironically, see bigots as a separate category of human; people who aren’t worthy of full human rights, because they would deny those rights to others. If you believe that, you are going to run into cognitive dissonance when you try to uncritically signal-boost minority voices, because you are going to run into a lot of human imperfection there.

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dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition · 1 year

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4 21 30 69 aelwyd 🔥

🐐

if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

fireball is the obvious answer but i'd also argue for steel wind strike for her Killing. or maybe dominate person. get it because she's a femd--[i am assasinated]

do they follow their head, their heart, or their body?

heart. i think it's pretty obvious that she's a very emotionally-driven person. she's obviously like. intelligent. and even logical. but every single thing she does is influenced by her feelings. she trusts who she trusts because she has a good feeling about them. she knows this about herself! she views it as a weakness.

what do they seek out from others?

jay-z voice LOVE i don't get enough of it. / she wants attention and, underneath that, affection. her attention seeking behavior and it. has been a lot more extreme in the past, but. ultimately she just wants people to be good to her and to not leave her alone. part of the reason she's been with her patron so long is that. hollow as it may be. the mistress will tell her she is pretty and useful and worth something.

how would they describe their party members?

aria: interesting and mysterious. and hot. probably was willing to kill the whole party, which is kind of amazing of her, and kind of intimidating. glad she's not entirely dead. aelwyd genuinely wants to revive her, if she'd let her. she picks her allies carefully and well. love her autistic girl swag. learn more about her later.

chini: cannot be trusted. compromised and trying to convince herself she's not. which means actually that aelwyd is better than her, because at least she has the decency to believe that she's fucked up. the paladin schtick already kind of pisses aelwyd off on principle so she's not coming into this unbiased.

ira: Best Wizard. aelwyd feels... almost selfish relating to ira? because like. aelwyd lost her wife (fiancee) too of course but that's because aelwyd killed her wife. so she's never brought it up. she wants to. she trusts ira in a fight, and thinks that of everyone in the group sans blank, ira is the best person. ira sees reason. and, additionally, she doesn't see aelwyd as unreasonable.

kairii: a good kid who needs to wise the fuck up. as i mentioned in session, aelwyd projects her own failed relationship onto kairii and chini, and. kairii reminds her of her wife, in a way, and aelwyd feels morally obligated to protect kairii from the same fate.

blank: the one person who has convinced aelwyd that she has potential to be a good person. that blank likes her is a sign that she is likable outside of the glitz and manipulation of the courts. she does feel a need to protect them, even as she knows they can very well protect themselves. she will literally burn the world for them, which maybe isn't healthy for friendship, but. she deals in extremes.

stras: condescending asshole. it's clear to her that he sees her as vapid and self-centered, and while she does act in her self-interest, she has her reasons, and he should understand that. annoyingly withholding and can't take a joke. she'll work with him if she needs to, but also, she is 99% sure that his lover is one of the beinhs that fucked blank up, soooo.

#dnd talk #aelwyd #she is a bitch and i love her so much

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quillsinkwell · 7 months

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some rambles about Susie

when she was a kid she struggled to connect with people, considering the fact that she was autistic and loveless.

it's why she got so attached to Cam, Lizzy, Shelly, and Parker. they just. got her like no one else did.

but then the incident happened, and all of sudden, nearly all of her friends left town, and the one who did went out of his way to avoid her (Parker)

and as her ptsd and aspd formed, she just disconnected more and more from people.

her parents didn't care, they just ignored her

all of her classmates saw her as the weird kid

all she had was her brother Philip, and he got more distant as she got older.

eventually she told herself, 'screw them'

she doesn't know why she doesn't like the stupid things everyone else does? well they're a bunch of idiots, shes just smarter than them

her parents ignore her? they just know she's better then them, and they don't wanna acknowledge it

she just kept telling herself that she didn't *need* friends, she was better than all of those idiots

sure, people say she's a smug bitch, but at least she's not an idiot like the rest of them

so what if she feels empty inside? so what if she wishes someone would be nice to her just once? so what if she wishes her parents would acknowledge her? so what if she wishes the nightmares would stop? so what if she thinks she went too far? so what if she wishes being touched didn't make her want to die?

so what if sometimes she wishes she was normal?

no one cares. and that includes her.

she wants support so badly but she's either ignored or she pushes people away out of bitterness

its like-

she wants friends so much, but she's convinced that she's not worth befriending, and that's why no one likes her.

if the world hates her, she might as well hate the world

why bother getting better when no one cares?

so when she gets stuck on an island with her childhood friends? one of which ignored her while she spiraled? the other who keeps talking about 'teamwork' and 'reconnecting'?

she. does not take it well

ok so I've gotta explain the story structure of five nights for a sec.

each night represents a character and how easy Shelly can connect to them, the last night being Shelly herself. Susanna is the fourth night

she's the hardest in the group to connect with everybody

that's why the lesson of her night is so important.

her night shows how lonely she is, how the trauma of the past has been weighing her down this whole time, how she feels stranded and worthless.

in her night, the others treat her with kindness and *respect*

Parker apologizes for ignoring her when she needed a friend

Cameron apologizes for assuming she meant harm to the group

Elizabeth apologizes for treating her like a bully

and Shelly apologizes for trying to force positivity on her

they all apologize to her, but it all depends on her to end this night.

she finally has the support system she needs, she now needs to climb out the literal and figurative hole she's in.

her lesson shows that you can only recover from your trauma if you show kindness to yourself, and hating unnecessarily will only weigh you down

I just. god.

Susanna is easily the character I projected the hardest onto.

#quill's ocs #Susanna Anderson #Five Nights #Cameron Hernandez #Elizabeth Scott #Shelly Gardner #Parker Gardner #Phillip Anderson

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pyroclastic727 · 4 years

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Is Amity autistic?

In the Owl House fandom, we hear a lot about how Luz is written to be ADHD. Now I would like to present the flipside: Amity is coded as autistic.

Here’s the breakdown.

Amity is touch-averse. “BuT aMiTy ToUcHeS LuZ aLL tHe TiMe” nice try. The key to autistic touch-aversion is only being okay with touch when she initiates it. And that totally matches up with Amity. See, Amity is really happy when she initiates touch with Luz. She’s also cool with it when Luz holds her hand after standing near her for enough time that Amity can predict an incoming touch. That’s because Amity consents to that touch and expects it.

But when other people touch her? She doesn’t take kindly to that. When Luz initially bumped into her at Covention, she snapped at her and degraded her. Even when she bumped into Luz in Enchanting Grom Fright, her initial instinct was to snap at Luz, since she didn’t expect to be touched. When Hooty touched Amity’s face without consent, she flipped out and beat him up. Not even Lilith beat Hooty up when he wrapped her up in his mucus-filled tube, but Amity gave Hooty the injuries we all wanted to see him with, because he breached her boundaries without her consent. Even as late as the last episode, Amity fell over when her face got close to Luz’s on the bleachers, because she didn’t expect it.

Amity stims. Okay, this one took me a while to catch, since most of the time, Amity is very controlled with her actions. This symptom isn’t very intense; her senses aren’t understimulated too often, and she really only does it when she’s really excited.

Mainly, when Luz offered to carry her. While she adorably scrambled for words, she also flapped her hands against her legs. At first I thought it was just a cute thing she did, but there’s more to it. She was so excited to be held by Luz that it showed up in her hands flapping...a common stim. With Amity feeling more comfortable around her new friends than the old ones, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more stimming in the future.

Amity always has The Mask as her expression. You know, the one with her eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly downturned. I also call it the Resting Blight Face, for...reasons.

At first I thought it was just a way to hide her true emotions, since her parents are assholes. But even though Luz makes her feel accepted, she keeps doing it. It’s more like...you know that feeling when you’re thinking really hard, or uncomfortable, or ashamed, or even just relaxed, and you can’t think of which expression to wear quickly enough, so you put on an unreadable one to tide people over? Apparently most people don’t do that, since allistic people tend to have expressions for those feelings, ones that arise naturally.

Another symptom of autism is having hard-to-read expressions, or being less expressive. In Amity’s case, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see a need to have an expression in calmer moments, so she just uses her usual expression.

Amity hyperfixates. This has several facets, so I’ll break this down.

She initially hyperfixated on school. And that’s how she became top student. Amity Blight is who you would mistake for a “gifted student.” But make no mistake...she is not gifted, and gifted is a bullshit label used to overexert people and force them to keep school as their special interest for their entire lives (and I may have a bit of a vendetta against it). Anyways, we already know she’s a perfectionist. My theory is that Amity originally was hyperfocused on school--the Abominations track, to be exact--and that’s part of how she got so good. Then, her focus shifted, but the school expected her to keep being top student. Cue the perfectionism; she was no longer able to focus on school like she wanted to, but everyone expected her to, so she got insecure about it.

She hyperfixates on Azura, just like Luz did. Yeah, she keeps it secret from the world, for most of the time. But she definitely likes Azura a lot. I mean, she started to reconsider her opinion on Luz when Luz offered her an Azura book. She destroyed her jock career because she tried to use an Azura move in real-life Grudgby. Her interest in Azura is long-lived, starting about the time that her interest in school would have expired (which would explain why she stayed closeted). And we can’t ignore the fact that she sees Azura in Luz and is definitely enjoying the parallels between herself and her fictional counterpart. (Which might not be a coincidence, but that’s an entirely different theory).

She hyperfixates on Luz. Yes, part of this is a crush. But a lot of us have watched Amity’s personality go from alpha bitch to cutest little bean in the Boiling Isles, all thanks to Luz’s influence. Lumity is not a rivals-to-lovers speedrun due to bad writing, it’s due to Amity hyperfixating. She’s already extremely introspective, going so far as to keep a diary where she analyzes and makes sense of herself. It’s not a stretch to say that she identified the faults that kept her from Luz and worked hard to change those off-screen.

Amity keeps a journal. To me, this seems like masking. You see, Amity is what people would consider to be high-functioning, since she can pass for allistic. But in order to do this, she has to put in significant effort on her part. See, when she does something that makes it so she doesn’t pass, she just sees it as a problem (since she probably doesn’t know about autism, and she passes well enough that she would totally be undiagnosed). Then she tries to fix the problem, in order to keep being perfect.

Amity has awkward body language. Thanks to the journal and other ways of masking, you don’t see this early on. But once she feels comfortable enough around Luz to let her guard down...she completely forgets boundaries. To review: in episodes 15-17, she throws herself at Luz, holds her formal rival’s hand for 24.71 seconds, blushes every time she sees Luz, and loudly declares her thirsty thoughts about Luz in uniform before literally running away. While some of this can be seen as normal gal pal things or crush things...you’d think a repressed wlw like Amity would try very hard not to touch Luz, so as to avoid being outed. Or at least she would do less of that stuff, so as to respect Luz’s boundaries the way she wants her boundaries to be respected. But that’s not the case, since she straight-up misses a lot of social cues. And since she feels comfortable around Luz, she doesn’t feel the pressure to be so paranoid about the cues, and can be her awkward self. From her point of view, she probably sees it as being freed from her parents’ judgment.

Amity takes things literally, sometimes. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, since she isn’t heavily affected by this autistic trait. But when Luz says “I’m picking up what you’re putting down” and Amity says “I’m not putting down anything” and looks down...she not only missed the conclusion Luz drew from her words, but also assumed a literal meaning from her words. I can’t come up with many other instances of this, mostly because this doesn’t happen often. I would assume that Amity missed these a lot early on, and learned how to mask/identify them.

Amity is easily upset when things don’t go as planned. Let’s review these. In the library, she gets really mad at Luz when they end up stitched to a book, and it takes Luz’s sweet personality to get Amity to loosen up and laugh over it. When she goes to practice magic, and Luz steals her wand and uses it to get her siblings kidnapped, Amity locks Luz in a cage and assumes that she will get badly injured if she tries to fix the problems she caused. When Luz comes to her school, she panics and focus on how that doesn’t change anything. When she burns Willow’s mind, she appears absolutely terrified of being punished, flinching and bracing for impact when Luz finds her near the memories, constantly trying to distract Luz as they work together to save Willow, and hiding behind Luz when she confronts the Inner Willow. When Luz asks her to join her in Grudgby, Amity doesn’t initially agree, instead taking much more of the episode to come to terms with her involvement in it.

Amity likes predictability. She’s not attached to routines, but she does like being able to expect things. If she makes a plan for the day, she expects that day to adhere to that plan, and she doesn’t respond well when it changes. When Luz comes to her school, she focus on how that doesn’t change anything...not how that would ruin things or complicate things. Whenever she gets involved in Luz’s shenanigans, she either gets angry, scared, or takes a while to accept it. In a broader sense, she takes a while to accept that Luz and her shenanigans are a permanent fixture in her life--sixteen episodes, to be exact.

Finally, it would make for some excellent representation. An ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist is pretty groundbreaking. But an ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist girl who dates an autistic wlw witch girl from another dimension is exactly the kind of intersectional representation you’d expect to see from an unrestricted Owl House crew.

...Now, this might just be me hardcore projecting. I’m a little scared to post this because I don’t know how much of this is me reading into imaginary things, or trying to convince myself that Amity is like me. Feel free to debate/disprove me or support me in the comments.

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fancyfade · 2 years

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raven chronic pain headcanons

brought on from headcanon of @momo-whore about raven having chronic pain, since textually raven does state she still has the pain she absorbed when she heals people.

also crowdsourced some of these headcanons with people in the raven discord

Raven’s pain increases a lot when she joins the titans and starts using her healing powers more often. She didn’t notice it as much on Azarath.

the titans take forever to notice raven has chronic pain because she is very good at hiding it and extremely emotionally repressed and doesn’t want to burden other people with her problems (from her POV), so on bad pain days she locks herself in her room and tells people she’s meditating

Don’t know if this is comics but taking from the cartoon: raven’s room is a sacred, do not enter space, because she doesn’t want anyone to see her at first in what she considers a vulnerable and needy state, but even when she gets more comfortable and accepting of herself she does need a place without anyone else to avoid being overwhelmed, since being in pain makes it harder to deal with overwhelming sensory stimuli (and raven is obviously autistic, too Link)

She knits and crochets (Ok this is also from someone else’s headcanon) but on bad pain days she prefers crocheting because you can stop in the middle of a row on crochet but you can’t stop in the middle of a row when knitting, so if she was knitting she wouldn’t be able to stop when she starts hurting too bad.

Vic shows her some stretches to help with her pain. He also is one of the first people who she opens up to about her pain, because Vic also has chronic pain from his amputations and she can sense it.*

Vic is also the person to convince Raven that it’s not shameful to be disabled (she has the internalized ableism of “yeah its OK for OTHER PEOPLE but it’s insulting/taking away resources from people who really need it if **I** am”). Raven eventually uses some mobility aids on bad pain days, but not until we get the white raven outfit and she’s at the stage where she seems to be allowing herself to admit she can experience emotion.

The Titans are already shown to feel bad when Raven has to heal them, because they know it hurts her (temporarily), but I think they knew she suffered after affects they would be even more reluctant to have her heal them.

She gets a purple cane with flowers on it. When the cane falls down enough that the pain chips, Joey repaints it.

Dick helps Raven go shopping for braces for bad pain days and tells her about when he was recovering from various injuries and used the braces to help. Raven is like “Why are you like this why didn’t you just wait and recover.” dick: “look who’s talking” (thinking of many instances she healed the team when it hurts her)

Raven loves drinking tea and the heat helps a lot especially when her hands are really hurting. If she has a project she wants to knit she’ll set up right near the water boiler

When the titans figure out about Raven’s chronic pain they want to take her off the chore wheel (they also want to take vic off the chore wheel but he is like “U guys do know my pain works differently right”) but she’s still too reluctant to accept help so dick like tries to observe her for a week and see which chores she seems least affected by and has her do those. He has to keep making up excuses for why he’s hanging around and watching her so closely and as an empath she can tell he’s lying but she doesn’t call him on it. He can help take care of her as long as he doesn’t admit he’s doing it so she can pretend its not happening :P

Raven’s comfort food is fruit parfaits and on her worst pain days her friends prepare them for her so she can take her mind off it.

Kory will can heat her hands up slightly with her starbolts and give raven heated massages. We’ll say Raven is probably only comfortable with this level of intimacy after Raven and Kory’s skinny dipping adventure (when Kory was trying to help Raven work through her feelings about Dick).

*I might want to write a post for Vic too but that’s going to require doing more research into amputation and how amputees experience chronic pain and disability

#raven #dc comics #disabled characters #headcanons #disability headcanons #spoonie #teen titans #the new teen titans #koriandr #joseph wilson #victor stone #dick grayson

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Fated

Karl Heisenberg x Autistic, Sound-sensitive Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Spoilers for RE8:Village, Noise sensitivity

Genre: Romance, Comfort

Summary: Not everyone could love a man like Heisenberg. But Y/N isn’t everyone, nor is she just anyone. She loves him as the whole package he is: murderous intentions, human experiments and all.

Requested by @phoenixofthevalley Hi dear! Here you go - the first fic I’ve ever written for Karl Heisenberg (first of many) and thank you so much for being my first ever Resident Evil 8 requester! Hope you enjoy the read! Feel free to correct me if I’ve described anything incorrectly or in an accidentally offensive manner. I have no intention of spreading hate or any type of misconception so I’d really appreciate the correction. Love, Vy ❤

Watching Karl get so excited over this grand plan of his - the destroying of Mother Miranda, his revenge - it all makes me feel uneasy. I can’t explain the feeling, mostly cause I’ve never felt it before, and I can’t quite describe it either. I don’t connect to people easily and I’ve always been told I’m the problem but I guess it took the right person to make me feel things I haven’t felt for no one else all my life.

“The weren’t worthy of your emotions, darling.“ Karl told me on one of the rare occasions when I opened up my mind to him. I felt his words wrap around me like a comforting embrace. For the first time in my life, I felt understood.

I think that’s what took me the longest to get used to - being understood, seen and validated. My opinions had never before been taken into account seriously, my personal boundaries were rarely respected by others and people always had a hard time dealing with how distant I can be. But what bothers me above all is how people refer to me as dramatic because of my sound sensitivity - something no one took seriously when I’d tell them about it.

Karl did though, surprising me to no end.

He respects that I like my personal space and prefer not being shown much affection, especially not physical. He understands that I have a hard time showing people affection myself. He goes out of his way to make sure I’m ok with whatever it is he’s doing, saying or suggesting. And I’m sure that if I were to ever tell someone about this, they wouldn’t believe me. That’s most definitely due to his rough exterior and intimidating appearance. Also probably because he comes off as downright selfish and rude when you first meet him, but getting to know him was a journey worth taking because I now know the real him. A trust me, his rough exterior and the softness of his true self have nothing in common. Although, he does claim that softness is only reserved for me.

With all that laid out, it’s completely understandable that I don’t want him going up against Mother Miranda. Thanks to Karl I’ve never had the displeasure of running into her, but I’ve heard countless stories of how powerful and downright terrifying that witch is. Bottom line: I don’t want Karl walking into something that’s the equivalent of suicide.

And I’ve finally decided to let him know exactly how I feel about it.

I’ve been sitting here, searching for my voice as I observe Karl in his deepest thinking space. He’s constantly in it, if you ask me - constantly thinking, looking for ways to make his innovations better, stronger, more powerful to add to his chances of victory against the sadistic ruler of this village. He was already at his desk when I walked in, hunched over dozens of drawings drawn with cut-edge precision yet in his mind they are probably not near good enough. In his mind, all he does is never good enough. He prides himself on this factory and what he’s produced thus far but he cannot stay proud of himself for very long, he constantly feels the need to better himself in order to remain worthy in his eyes. I wish I could change his mindset on those grounds but I know that my tries would be futile and pointless.

“Karl?“ I suddenly speak up, surprising both him and myself. I don’t know what I was thinking opening my mouth when I still have no idea how to go about this without making it seem like I don’t believe in him. That is in no way the case. I believe he can defeat her, if he cannot do it himself, his robo-army most certainly can. But I don’t want defeating her to cost him his life cause without him in mine I’m not sure what will be left of me.

He straightens up from where he’s been hunched over for the past God knows how many hours, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms as her turns to look at me, his sunglasses capturing the white neon light in the office as he does so.

“What is it, darling? Something wrong?“ he takes a step towards me as I stand up and go to approach him.

“Actually...“ Suddenly, that thing he keeps in a safety cell just below this room starts going off with that annoying loud sound it makes. It’s always disturbed me, ever since it came to exist which was not so long ago considering it’s been his latest project. It not only terrifies me but triggers my sound sensitivity as do most of the machines in this forsaken factory.

I close my eyes tightly shut as I cover my ears with my hands, praying for the sound to go away as soon as possible because I can’t take it. It almost makes me physically nauseous and gives me vertigo, bringing me to the brink of tears because of its loudness and intensity, like it’s drilling right into my brain.

I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment the sound went away because when faced with such a pain-inducing experience, my senses tend to tune out while I still remain conscious, but when my hearing returns I the only thing I’m able to hear is a steady heartbeat and a steady breathing.

“It’s ok, darling. You’re ok.“ I hear Karl’s quiet whisper, giving me peace and coaxing me into opening my eyes.

When I do so, I come to realize why the rest of the world has gone quiet. Why I’m suddenly so flooded with comfort like no one is able to bring me. No one but him. One of my ears is pressed up to his chest while the other is covered by his warm hand which travels up to move a strand of hair from my face and put it behind my ear as he repeats his soothing words like a chant, slowly starting to let go of me out of fear that he’s crossing a line. He’s always so wary about that and I’ll forever be grateful to him for it.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?“ His hands gently cup my cheeks, tilting my head so I can look him in the eyes - directly in the eyes, for he has ridden himself of his glasses. I’ve found he does that often when around me - removes his glasses. I once asked him why that is but the answer he gave me was vague, all the while a small smile played on his face. Guess he’s a bigger secret-keeper than I primarily thought. It doesn’t bother me really, I know the only secrets he keeps are the ones that would be a hazard for my safety if he exposed me to them, so I allow him his secrets and I keep some of my own to myself. It’s only fair, after all.

I nod, blinking up at him, “Yes, I’m ok. But...“ Now or never, girl. Now or never. “But if you want me to be honest, I will be.”

He looks baffled by my answer but he doesn’t falter, quickly regaining his composure before he replies, “Of course, dear. I always want you to be honest with me. What’s on your mind, what’s bothering you?“

Now “I haven’t been really ok for a while now.” I take his hands in mine, removing them from my cheeks but holding them firmly between us - a gesture that surprises me just as much as it shocks him. Never have I felt the need to be so close to someone. It may be momentary and temporary, but I refuse to dwell on that as I push forward with my argument, “I haven’t been ok since you told me about your plane. The whole thing with Mother Miranda and all that...” Not the time to be leaving me, words. I started this, I’ll finish it. “Look, Karl, I know you and your army can bring that witch to her demise but...”

“But what, Y/N? Tell me.“ He encourages me softly, his hands subtly tightening their hold on mine as if to keep me grounded, remind me he’s listening closely to every word I’m saying. Like he always does.

“But what if it doesn’t go as planned?“ I blurt out, biting my bottom lip nervously. It makes me anxious, being so honest and emotionally exposed. That’s so rare for me I doubt I’ll ever get used to it, but that’s the only way I have at least a fragment of a chance of convincing Karl to drop this. “What if things go south and you end up killed or turned into a monster or something else?“

The concern on his face washes away when he hears my words, getting replaced by a soft, consoling smile. I quickly look away, feeling that confession on my part was quite odd. I feel out of place but not uncomfortable, I don’t know how to explain it. It almost feels like relief, like I’ve finally gotten a huge boulder off my chest and I can finally breathe properly. But I can’t, not until I hear his reply. That smile should probably tell me something but it doesn’t - I won’t believe anything until I hear it come out of his mouth with my own two ears.

“Oh Y/N, darling, you won’t lose me. Ever.“ His thumb swipes across my knuckles soothingly, drawing abstract patterns on the skin of the back of my hand, “You never need to worry about me, hun, I ain’t going anywhere. No one can take me away from you or you away from me. Anyone who dares to try, well, bad things will happen to ‘em.“ He chuckles, easing the tension enough for me to able to look up at him again. When our eyes meet again, I see something I can’t name nor describe. All I know is that what he’s telling me is genuine and comes, “I’ll always be here, by your side, Y/N. I will always be here to shield you from anything and anyone. Any rogue lycan or any loud sound, I’ll be there to prevent it from reaching you. Never forget that. Ok?“

That urge to be have him close takes over me again. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I see a clock ticking down, counting down the numbered hours we have together before he inevitably carries out his plan. As scary as that is, I think I can do nothing but accept it.

And so, that’s exactly what I do.

Wrapping my arms around him tenderly, enveloping him in the first hug I’ve ever given him - probably the first hug anyone has given him - I accept our fate, silently hoping it changes somewhere along the lines.

“Ok.“

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

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I was recently diagnosed with ASD and a few people were surprised cause Im not awkward when I talk to people. I'm very aware I could be projecting onto Paul but I find myself relating to him, like he seems to stim a lot in interviews. But then you dont need to be autistic to stim so who knows.

Discussion point: Paul & ASD

EDIT: Id recommend reading the response from @jeffreyrhymansss to this post (just look in the notes), since it gives far more insight into the psychology of autism then I could provide. Apologies about any misinformation I might've spread with this post, it was pure misguidance on my behalf. Not an excuse I know (I should be more cautious with this stuff) but just thought id clarify that I was never purposely being insensitive.

EDIT 2: id also like to just clarify though that I am all for discussions on Paul being neurodivergent - the same way that im all for discussions on John as having had a personality disorder. Im not personally convinced that Paul is autistic, but I think its plausible; ive just never read any in-depth and strong arguments for it, ive only come across brief speculations. I remain open to the idea of Paul being neurodivergent as a possibility, but id need to read a thorough and well-evidenced argument for the claim before really getting on board with it. Hope this cleared some things up :)

My mum is a bit like this - if you met her, it’s unlikely that you’d be able to tell that shes autistic because she’s quite low on the spectrum and interacts with people pretty confidently. Even my oldest brother didn’t know she’s autistic until last year, when I mentioned it in casual conversation and he was like “oh shit, that makes a lot of sense actually!!”. My point with mentioning all this is essentially that there are a lot of people (especially of Pauls generation) who are autistic, but just about pass for “normal” (used with some irony there, of course) enough to go undiagnosed, for varying reasons. And while you can usually tell if someone is on the autism spectrum, theres still a lot of people who learn throughout their childhood to mask their symptoms - and it becomes practically second nature. So you probably just wouldn’t know they were autistic, until you knew them quite intimately.

Personally, I don’t see tons of evidence to suggest that Paul is autistic - but there are stories here and there that make more sense (in terms of his behaviour) if you consider them within the context of him being somewhere on the spectrum. Its not a diagnosis I think you could build quite as strong a case for on, compared to something like John having BPD - still though, its plausible, its worth considering and its good to discuss it as possibility, since it could potentially help us in empathising with and understanding him.

On another note, I don’t actually think that projection is such a bad thing tbh. Its just a way of relating to and understanding these people; everybody projects to some degree, and while we should constantly try to question ourselves, saying “okay, but can I back this claim up with substantial and meaningful evidence? or is it pure projection?” - and I btw fully admit that im just as much prone to getting carried away with my analysis’s at times, so much so that they run into projection, as anyone else. I suppose still that projection is essentially just an unavoidable part of interpretation - and applying our own experiences onto our speculations can have the capacity to speak certain truths about (god i hate to use this phrase) ~the human experience~ (<<< blahhhhhhhhh) just be careful, and question yourself.

#look #im SORRY #for saying “the human experience”#i know pretentious guy in everyones english lit class uses that phrase to excess #but tbf #im fairly certain this is the first time ive used it on tumblr??#so i get a freebie on it ;)#paul mccartney #pauls psyche #autism #meta

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amarguerite · 3 years

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reading an article that’s intended to defend Thoreau from his recent unpopularity as a hypocrite and I have to say, I’m not convinced by it. i feel bad about this and am worried this stems from a lack of compassion or empathy on my part, but i honestly just don’t believe this author’s argument that we moderns are reading too neurotypically and are being unjustifably mean to Thoreau when he might have been on the spectrum-- and especially modern women who point that Thoreau’s mom doing his laundry ties into a history of women doing and being relegated to invisible labor even when they have more important things going on (Mama Thoreau was an underground railroad conductor in Concord, for example)

like, i do get that it’s a problem that we assume a neurotypical viewpoint always and everywhere, especially in historical writing, and I will state flat out that I’m not qualified to evaluate his arguments about Thoreau’s neuroatypicality or not, but but i think the issue isn’t that people on twitter like shaming thoreau because he may have been autistic. i think the pushback on that thoreau is because he’s one of the Great White Men of American Literature who everyone had to read in high school, and because he wrote non-fiction, it is a lot easier to critique and dismantle his ideas and how they stand in for various myths of America we’re now all tired of: that women’s labor is and ought to be invisible, that women ought to do do domestic work, that domestic work doesn’t matter, that rugged individualism is a great idea, that people don’t really need to live in a society, that a single man alone is better than any kind of group working together, etc.

i also feel bad because the author is clearly projecting his grief over losing a colleague to the easily-preventable poverty of academic adjuncting onto Twitter hate for Thoreau, but I also think that those are two different issues. the unchecked late stage capitalism that resulted in the exploitation of academic labor is not the same as someone on Twitter calling Thoreau a hypocrite because he said he lived alone in the woods when he was actually within walking distance of a train station

idk the whole thing made me really uncomfortable and gave me a vague feeling that this white dude is really mad at a female New Yorker writer because she was mean about this Great White Man of American Literature he liked, and it got all mixed up in his personal griefs about a dying friend

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