#Only in Gotham?

[catpriciousmarjara]

Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

#for real every mofo with a doctorate in Gotham is gonna get criminally side-eyed the moment they say Hi I'm Dr- #you know I'm right #Jason and his crowdfunded villainsona #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Stephanie Brown #Barbara Gordon #Cassandra Cain #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Siblings being menaces to society #Wayne Family #Batfam #Batfamily shenanigans #Onlyingotham #Gotham City #Only in Gotham? #DC Batman #DC #DCU

[incorrectgrayson-toddquotes]

Overheard in a random bar

New Yorker: Wait, wait. So you’re telling me, you not only went to the same school, but also were in the same class with Richie Wayne, Gotham’s favorite himbo?

Gothamite: He was a top tier gymnast and a mathlete.

*on TV, Richie playing along with the host’s joke*

Gothamite: I guess that makes him an actor too.

#dick grayson #only in gotham?

[violent138]

While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

#I love the idea that so many things can kill you in Gotham that the Bats are one of the only things a humble goon can trust #only in gotham #batman #batfam #dc comics #damian wayne #nightwing #red hood #batfamily #robin #jason todd #dick grayson #gotham city

[rad-batson]

I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.

#autistic bruce wayne #bruce wayne #dc universe #dc #batman #batfam #batfamily #gotham #only in gotham #gotham city

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #c: danny fenton #c: dick grayson #c: jason todd #c: bruce wayne #c: joker #dp x dc prompt #it's ambiguous on purpose but I originally intended for Danny to be deaged? but some people don't like that so it's only implied #Jason hasn't laughed that hard since he died #nightwing is mostly just horrified that he let danny that close to joker to begin with #batman is like “hnn” >:( #why didn't danny escape? its your decision #are his powers not working? #is the joker a ghost he's trying to capture? #is he a hero fanboy who wanted to see the gotham knights in their natural habitat? #whose to say? :)

[radiance1]

Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.

Jason: What.

Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.

Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?

Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?

Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?

Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.

Jason: That's almost sad.

Danny: You in?

Jason: Sure, why not.

===

Maddie: Danny, honey.

Danny: Yes mom?

Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.

Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.

Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.

Danny: Mother I need more context.

Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?

Maddie: Jack!

Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!

Danny: Say WHAT?

===

Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!

Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.

Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?

Jason:

Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.

Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?

Danny: Jason.

Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.

Danny: [Squints eyes]

Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]

Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.

Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny isn't romantically interested in Jason in the least #Neither is Jason romantically interested in Danny #But he needed a partner and Jason was the only one available #Jason somehow managed to balance that and being a crime lord #Jack and Maddie instantly had the suspicion of him being Red Hood aka a crime lord aka a criminal aka a danger to their boy #Danny doesn't know at ALL though and so they hang that theory up because if Danny didn't know then he probably wasn't a crime lord #Jason's identity was almost blown because he pretended to be the boyfriend of his friend #Again Danny doesn't know shit about him being Red Hood he just thought dude was dedicated to his job plus its Gotham #Not that weird to come back with scraps and scratches

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 45 (Masterlist)

(Part 46)

@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition

If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.

TOODLES

#a wild battinson #battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #dc universe #battinson needs a hug #gotham #soft bruce wayne #social media au #social media #gothamite #only in gotham #gotham city #dc #jason todd #give Battinson a child 2k24 #IT’S 2k24 NOW OH LORD #lex luthor

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason is terrified of Damian al Ghul-Wayne.

Talia dipped him in the Pit, fed him lies, put him through the worst kinds of pain possible for the sake of training and turned him into a monster that went to heel when called. A monster even Ra’s was wary of.

He’s terrified of Damian, because if his mother managed to manipulate and play him like a fiddle, then she must have taught the same to her son.

Damian, who only has memories of a catatonic Jason cooing at him, cuddling him and protecting him, is becoming progressively more distressed by Jason’s perpetual cold shoulder and skittish behavior whenever Jason sees him.

#and round we go #to lose our minds and find our soul #Jason thinks his instinctive protective feelings and affection for Damian were planted there by Talia #in reality Jason pretty much raised Damian #only he can’t remember #and Damian is heartbroken because when he went to Gotham he wasn’t really looking for Bruce #he was looking for JASON #who he’d been told was dead/missing/gone #while Jason is freaking out #thinking he’s gonna be manipulated by another al Ghul #jason todd #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batfam #robin #Damian wayne #damian al ghul #red hood #misunderstandings #prompts #fic #fanfiction #ideas #miscommunication

[waynefamilyreactions]

(If somebody else already did it, I apologize)

#jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #batman #batfamily #bruce wayne #batboys #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #only in gotham

[mikeluciraphgabe]

I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman

“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”

“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”

“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”

#i think it’s funny #gothamite #only in gotham #gotham #gotham city #Batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne batman #bruce wayne #dick Grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #duke thomas

[qcomicsy]

Batman sitting on the Batmobile: You need to watch your fighting stand Robin, when we get back–

Batman: You're not Robin.

Cosplayer very much terrified, who hadn't had the courage to tell who he was when a 6'0ft tall man dressed as a bat dragged him into the batmobile:

--

Tim in a Uber on his way to a comic con along with a bunch of other teenagers: I sense I made a mistake somehow.

#tim robin #batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #gothamites #only in gotham

[spectral-honey]

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #i also think it would be funny if thats literally the only thing jason does as a lawyer after that he just goes back to being a vigilante #everyone on the internet is like 'the iconic career of jason todd wayne: came back from the dead got a college degree got the joker- #-sentenced to death (finally) and then immediately fucked off to do whatever the hell it is he does for fun' #any time bruce and jason disagree jasons like 'excuse me which one of us is the college drop out and which of us is a practicing attorney?' #alfred 'you could have been a doctor but you became a furry themed vigilante instead' will never let this go #also btw jason just stole reasources from the league to get thru college. maybe at first talia was like what & then jason was like #'my alternate plan was to either get bruce to kill the joker or kill all three of us in an explosion' and talia is like #'okay. have fun at school sweetie' #BTW AN EDIT: this post is not reflective of my IRL beliefs about the criminal justice system or the death penalty #IRL those are way more complicated than gotham city/the joker/jason make it out to be #saw a few people tagging this post mentioning stuff about that

[violent138]

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

#Add yours (if you want lol) #batkids #batfamily #batfam headcanons #oh boy here we go roll call: #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #batman #nightwing #bruce wayne #duke thomas #signal #cassandra cain #black bat #stephanie brown #spoiler #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #only in gotham #dc comics

[daydreamerwonderkid]

I can't deny that there's a part of me that's absolutely delighted that each time Bruce unjustly went after Jason, the Batkids responded in kind.

This isn't my ideal version of the Batfam, but it does warm my heart seeing Jason's siblings stand up for him.

#batfam #batfamily #gotham war #gotham war spoilers #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #stephanie brown #i know damian was siding with bruce until recently #but i dont blame him #he's young and all he's ever wanted is bruce's love and approval #and the only way he knows how to get it #is by not questioning his father/authority figure #honestly i feel for him #none of the batkids deserve this #dreamer queue

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Harley trying to cheer up Robin

Harley: Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.

Harley: You come from a strong line of lunatics!

Damian: *thinking of his family history, from both sides

Damian: That is actually quite reassuring???

#incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #batman #dc comics #incorrect justice league quotes #batman & robin #robin #justice league #batfamily #damian wayne #damian al ghul #bruce wayne #ra’s al ghul #talia al ghul #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #only in gotham #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect quotations

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Alfred is Clockwork #AndCW having adopted Danny means Danny gets to meet his new big brother from another timeline #Bruce (Once Alfred confirms) is absolutely attached within moments #Autistic bois unite & talk for hours about hyperfixations #Clark has had time to make an entire homemade pie at this point #No Danny isn’t ghost king nor is Clockwork Cronus #Bruce: I have only had a baby brother for 5 hours but if anything happens to him I will let my kids break all the rules & kill everyone her #Signal: Yeah definitely Alfred’s he glows like him and everything #The rest of the bats: Alfred does what now- #Danny with dozens of big star eyes to Bruce: How would you feel about sisters #Bruce holding 3 children & 1 young adult: I am big brother now #Alfred scathingly says that Someone in the family *cough Jazz cough* will at least finish college & get their degree #Sometimes CW enjoys turning off his future-vision and vibing as a mostly-mortal #And Gotham is an old war buddy of his (Yes Gotham is the city equivalent of an Ancient) from the [Redacted] era of the Realms #And xer son & daughter are adorable- Bludhaven & Arkham love the vigilantes lots