#People get genuinely confused how this man committed multiple murders

[hereforthefunnyguys]

Hey bro, if you don't mind me asking... What's the worst Yu-Gi-Oh take you've ever seen? I like seeing you rant.

God... I'm blanking right now but there are a Lot. There are just so many </3.

Later addendum: This went... all over the place. I have no clue what happened here but I stand by my opinions.

I realize I rant about Marik problems a lot (tis the tism) but I think the ones that actually tend to genuinely anger me the most in like a "oh, you genuinely did not read the same series as me" are the ones that attempt to villainize Atem over the whole series or make it seem like he only really cared about Yugi. That is just like. Blatantly incorrect.

First of all, I realize everyone really likes s0 "ooooOOO eDgY yAmI", but early manga Yami Yugi was only terribly violent for a few chapters. After that, he pretty firmly chillaxes, especially post-Death-T and definitely post-Monster World. And we are given a... pretty good reason for why he was like that originally! I would also be a little mad if I woke with no memories after being tormented in a labyrinth full of shadow demons for so long i literally could not remember being born and my first sight was someone trying to beat the shit out of the guy who was kind enough to release me from my Gay and Stupid Maze!

Literally guys, he's like a recently adopted stray kitten. He's just lashing out because he's scared. He's not evil you idiot he's 15 and incredibly incredibly confused and freaked out. Yes he still committed murder no I don't care we've excused other people for worse (take note of how these will often be the same people that uwuify marik or yb (but marik especially -> about to have a sub-rant its related i promise.))

ps. i don't get the marik thing he may be pretty but he is not a sniffling little kitten like people write him as (especially in comparison to his Big Bad Evil Personality and dangerous-bad-boy Yami Bakura who certainly never admitted to himself considering Marik slimy and weird and a dangerous asshole in canon no sir never). The man literally tried to drown Joey and (admittedly accidentally) got his own big brother fried like a fork in a toaster engineered by Elon Musk (and, I want to mention, he didn't seem to consider Rishid a genuine brother until much later after the psychological equivalent of multiple slaps upside the head). I think people just don't know how to write mental illness and/or emotions other than Horny or Sad and morals more complex than black and white.

This is actually part of I think a larger problem in the fandom with not tending to remember the whole storyline/point of yugioh was proving that people are not naturally evil and in fact often prove to be quite noble when they get taken out of a bad situation and worked on a little. Ppl don't quite get this outside of redeeming their favorite evil pretty boy so he can date around, so they either make everyone a sad little angel thats never done anything wrong in their life or a terrible demon whose surprisingly abusive qualities are only matched by his shockingly canon-inaccurate height and muscle mass increase. This is, imo, why people tend to do That to Atem. Either they interpret him as a perfect Good King that can do no wrong or, sadly more commonly, an evil serial killer that only cares about [EXPLETIVE REMOVED]ing Yugi and then pretty much nothing else.

Also, he was like... not a bad Pharoah from the exactly (checks notes) 72 hours he got to be one before dying a horrible torturous undeath. For the good of his kingdom, I want to mention. That was something he willingly undertook for the sake of his people. As far as autocratic dictators went, he was by all accounts a pretty nice one! Didn't even torture anyone to death! In fact he was so against the idea of torturing people to death we had to Specifically keep the bit where we were actually doing that secret from him!

also section B of this take then usually comes around to trying to prove he never cared about his friends other than yugi. And if I may be so spicy in the chat tonight. This is usually ooc puzzleshipping brain rot influencing critical thinking. Yes yes I get that your yami yugi 20k yandere fanfic (with a yugi that cries all the time for some reason and apparently refuses to just Take The Damn Thing Off) is hot but brother of mine that is not what Atem was like in canon. Like. At all.

First of all, even before Memory World he showed off caring about his friends. There was the whole "deadly yo yos" incident with Joey and then there was the not one but two Anzu hostage situations that he dealt with, one of which when there was literally no benefit to him or yugi to go and rescue her! In fact it put them in Active Danger to do so! And from what I remember, that was before even Death-T! So he has very much cared about his friends from the very beginning, individual of his aspect as an extension of Yugi's survival instinct.

Also. The whole point of Yu-Gi-Oh is the whole friendship is magic stuff. That absolutely applies to Atem as well. In fact it probably applies to him more so. The guy really depends on all of his friends for his sanity in a way that not even Yugi does. He likes Joey and he likes Anzu and he likes Honda (even with as little time as he got to shine RIP spiky haired king) and he likes Ryou! In fact one of the original conflicts in Battle City was that he cared about Ryou so much he wouldn't get rid of his age old archenemy because it would have hurt Ryou! But anyways. Anyways.

It feels like part of that can be blamed on the Orichalchos arc in the anime (which was certainly. An Arc. Not good not bad but a secret 3rd thing.) where they had him get incredibly depressed and ever so slightly unstable when Yugi went away. Which makes sense for him, but then people tend to overstate it to "Atem is inconsolable when Yugi isn't there to make it all better for him" and not "Atem feels incredibly guilty for falling under the spell of a literal magically evil-inducing rock and would likely feel similar if he lost really any of his friends in a similar manner."

"But steve. how are those last two things at all related to each other" WELL. YOU SEE. It always feels like people tend to make Atem evil and hate everyone else in order to justify a fantasy scenario where "Yugi" (read: writer's self-insert) gets to come along and redeem him and he gets to be their loyal attack dog. And you know what? I'm fine with that as a fanfic scenario! Let people have fun! Is probably very hot to people who are not stickily uptight bastards like me! But it annoys me like Hell when people try to canonize that particular bit of oocness.

Atem isn't evil. The poor boy is having his own problems. He's hanging out. He's doing his best. Leave him alone. He literally is just a teenage boy that likes to play games. Let him chill. Let him chill.

#I am AGAINST the evil atem agenda he’s my little man #yami yugi #atem #asks #ygo #ye. #hope this wasn't too... rambling.

[wwriothesley]

A person who gets a bit too close ( or they perceive to be close to him ) to Wriothesley will have the impression that he won in life. 

People would genuinely use this manner of speaking to flatter him, and he'd thank them politely and tell the one(s) that used this expression that he hasn't won- he fought hard for everything that he has now, and will keep fighting to help what he considers to be his home. He answers politely because he understands how this must look from the outside, and that the person is genuinely happy for him and thinks they're paying him a great compliment.

In their eyes, he went from a prisoner to royalty, from a nobody who has committed a nefarious crime into an atoned, functional member of society who has contributed the most to Fontaine's growth. In their eyes, the Duke has reformed fully, and is not feared from those who don't have a reason to fear him. To those who have met him, once they got over his intimidating looks, they'll admit to find him a polite and charming fellow with a bit of a dry humor.

Wriothesley's feelings can be summed up by this Game of Thrones quote:

I've lost a hand, a father, a son, a sister, and a lover, and soon enough I will lose a brother. And yet they keep telling me House Lannister won this war.

( Though, translated in italian, Jaime rather says ''They keep telling me House Lannister won this war. But then, why do I feel so cold inside?'', which I find it more fitting for this purpose. )

Wriothesley doesn't know his biological parents, and can't remember them, thus forgetting a part of his past. He has gone through hell on Earth, endured abuse and humiliating conditions of living, and the biggest realization of his life came when he understood that he had to murder his adoptive parents himself, as the law and authorities couldn't do anything to stop their crimes.

Despite all of his efforts to heal himself, there are the bad days; where he wakes up in cold sweat and has to pry the sheets that feel like an hanging noose from around his neck.

He dreamed, and sometimes still does, of the monster that was his adoptive mother screaming and begging him to stop as he drives the hunting knife in her chest, multiple times. How her nails dug long, by now healed scars in his arms. For some reason, he can't stop thinking about her last, incredulous words, ''you're hurting me.'' as if she never believed that retribution would come, one day, in the form of her oldest livestock specimen turning against her.

How his adoptive father simply crumpled to the floor as the livestock inched closer to him, step after step, no mercy in his eyes as the man in front of him turned from a cruel abuser to a whimpering mess of a man urinating on himself and begging Wriothesley to spare him. How he asked him why?, as if he didn't knew his crimes.

It's their disbelief and incredulity that left the biggest impact on Wriothesley. Both abusers turned into confused, terrified people begging him to stop and asking him why he was doing this to them- the human mind is truly something amazing, sometimes.

He still dreams about none of his siblings stopping to wave back at him, afraid of this blood-covered demon bleeding from the scratches on his arms and with ice cold, empty eyes staring at them. He knows that he had frightened them- but, some days, it weights on him.

There are bad days, when he'll be brought tea from the kitchen, a thoughtful gentleness from Wolsei- and he'd stir sugar and cream in with a silver spoon, a part of him afraid that it would reveal a poisoned drink under his touch. In the worst days, no matter if the silver doesn't darken and crack, signaling no poison in his tea, he'd pour it down the drain and, instead, choose to make up for his unseen slight by inviting the Fortress cook for an handmade brewed cup of tea, complete with snacks and tea cakes. Wolsei feels blessed, Wriothesley feels less guilty- and all is well.

There are days that not even Sigewinne's improised therapy sessions can help him- but then, he compromises by smiling in front of one of her Desolation Shakes, as he names them, and downs one down without a protest. Despite the taste, it does work and gives him a boost of energy for the day. He's also able to down a Mysterious Meal made by her without batting a lash, as long as she caters to him a bit and puts some roasted potatoes into it. He'll clean the box without a protest then.

Wriothesley hasn't won in life. The price he paid for later ''successes'' in life was not a cheap one by any means, and he had to fight for every single thing of his. He had to fight to survive and access the position that he's in now- he is now considered royalty, a title appointed to him by Neuvillette, who knows of these struggles, and that makes him feel better about it.

Sometimes, he still think that he has to fight- but he learned that this is just a thing about life: to fight is to feel alive.

#( OOC. ) ━ smoke break; oh. and a cup of fine tea too. #( HEADCANONS. ) ━ into the CERBERUS dossier. #this got long but im happy i made it c: #i hold this man close to my heart so much....... i just want him to be ok #i portray him so adjusted because if i dont ill cry and scream and sob #unsanitary ;; #ask to tag ;;

[iamnotmereally]

When the brothers get caught we get an outside view of how fucked up they are I like it alot. Anyway my point is Cas should have gotten caught once.

#U might ask. Why wouldn't he just overpower everyone. Cause he couldn't overpower anyone by the end of the show #Somehow he git domesticated. #Anyway it could go 2 ways #Like he could be really intimidating and scary or #People get genuinely confused how this man committed multiple murders #Supernatural #Destiel #Spn #sof

[sindulgence66]

MC belongs to GenZ

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Warnings: implied suicidal ideation, uncensored cursing

Characters: 7 brothers + side characters

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Lucifer

He has threathened your life multiple times, yet it continues to shock him how you seemed to be okay with the idea of dying

“Awesome, dead people ain’t having to do homework”

The fuck?

Grows concerned for MC’s well being

Sometimes, he gets caught so off-guard he can’t even come up with something to answer

“Mammon, you do that ONE more time and I will hang you from the ceiling”

“That’s kinky”

“Hey, Pridey Mc’Prideface!”

?????

Someone please help this man

Mammon

?????

Genuinely so confused and concerned

Also takes advantage of your behaviour tho

You’re the perfect partner in crime

Though sometimes you do freak him out

“Mammon, let’s commit arson”

What the fuck, MC

Leviathan

Lololol same

“For Diavolo’s sake, just let me die already”

“Same”

Actually gets along with you very well

Sometimes he does get a bit concerned tho

Humans shouldn’t sleep that little, right?

“DID YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE LACTATE THROUGH THE SKIN OF THEIR ARMPIT AFTER GIVING BIRTH!?”

“MC, it’s three in the morning, what the fuck”

Satan

MC, are you okay?

Has to sit you down and have a serious talk with you after you two were watching a series where someone jumped off a building and you suddenly said “mood”

Scolds you whenever you make self-depreciating jokes

Is always reminding you to eat properly or to get enough sleep

Basically becomes your mom

“You think I’d break something if I try to jump from the top of the staircase?”

“MC, no”

“MC YES”

Asmodeus

LOUD GASP

MC, that is not good for your skin!

Sighs and shakes his head whenever you say negative things about yourself

“Sweetie don’t say such horrible things, you’re beautiful”

Constantly pampers you and kidnaps you to have spa days

“MC, how many energy drinks have you drank today?”

“Yes”

Beelzebub

????

So confused

You are so great, why do you talk about yourself like that?

Is very concerned about you forgetting to eat

Tries his best to make sure you are taking proper care of yourself

“Do you think I can finish a family-sized pizza in less than 30 minutes?”

He definitely could, but humans shouldn’t eat that much?

“Are you okay?”

Belphegor

Didn’t understand how you could forgive him so easily even after killing you

A few weeks after living with you, everything was clear

Feels guilty for the entire murder thing whenever you jokingly bring it up or you mention you want to die

“Hey, Belphie, kill me again so I don’t have to do this”

“MC…”

“I crave death”

Sometimes just forces you to sleep so he doesn’t have to deal with your shit

Also does this because he knows you sleep way less than you should

Diavolo

Finds your behaviour… amusing

Soon grows worried about your well-being

Makes Barbatos make sure you don’t get yourself killed

Humans are supposed to be fragile creatures, right?

THEN WHY WERE YOU SO RECKLESS

Someone help him before he gets a heart attack

Barbatos

Has to make sure you don’t do something stupid enough to get yourself killed

Misterious butler always has your back

When he knows you’re not in real danger, he likes to watch your shenanigans

He’s allowed to have fun too, right?

“MC, I kindly suggest you stop that behaviour”

“Okay boomer”

It’s not wise of you to test his patience

Simeon

So concerned

Doesn’t understand 90% of the things that came out of your mouth

“MC, I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re trying to say?”

Does not trust to leave you and Solomon alone

Another hen mom

“MC, I do not think that’s a good idea”

“Meh, I’ll do it for the vine”

“Do it for the what”

Luke

?????

MC please stop putting yourself in such risky situations

You shouldn’t be saying you want to die

MUCH LESS IN FRONT OF DEMONS

Becomes overprotective of you

Solomon

This bitch,,,

Just encourages your bad decisions

“I’ll give you 7,000 grimm if you go and bite Lucifer”

“No way”

“10,000 grim”

“Aight bet”

He’s even worse than Mammon

You two get along very well since you get all the references you make

You are also a threat not only to yourselves, but to the entire Devildom

#obey me #obey me! #om! lucifer #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #leviathan #lucifer #mammon #satan #om! mammon #om! leviathan #om! satan #om! asmodeus #om! beelzebub #om! belphegor #om! mc #om! diavolo #om! solomon #om! barbatos #om! simeon #om! luke #om! scenario #om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me! shall we date? #om! headcannon

[calltomuster]

(More) Star Wars Fic Recs

[first fic rec list]

Hello everyone, hope you've been having a lovely week! Here's another list of some fics I've really enjoyed reading or rereading recently. I try to have a mix of things I don't think got enough love, fics from a while ago that deserve to be reread, stuff from writers on Tumblr, and of course, just stuff I think is great.

atmosphere level by softredscrunchie (gen, one-shot, 1k words, Obi-Wan & Satine) Obi-Wan's hurt and sick and annoyed so Satine decides to distract him by arguing passionately that Mandalore is, in fact, flat. Obi-Wan, being the nerd he is, gets more and more wound up as she refuses to back down. This fic is one of the funniest things I've read in a long while, highly recommend if you're having a bad day.

a comedy in four acts by jesuisdeux (gen, one-shot, 4k words, Obi-Wan & Dooku & Yoda) Obi-Wan and Dooku both time-travel from the point of their deaths way back to when Obi-Wan was a young Padawan. Ft. Classic Dooku glowering at a 13 year-old, caring and empathetic Yoda, and Obi-Wan flat out telling a very confused Qui-Gon that he's gonna kill Dooku.

the day begins with burning by @kototyph (gen, one-shot, 6.3k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic takes place in a world where the Jedi Order finds out about the Tusken massacre and puts Anakin on trial (internally). We start off right as the Council is delivering their verdict, and it's a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish. I like it because it does not shy away from the fact that Anakin murdered a bunch of people and there really need to be consequences for that, but also isn't just Anakin bashing. The relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan really shines through here.

The Ghosts of Memory by @pandora15 (gen, one-shot, 2.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Obi-Wan and Anakin are invited back to Naboo for the ten year anniversary of the battle. I mean, that sounds relatively benign but OOF. So many feelings. So many thoughts of what could have been. Go read this fic!

Anamorphosis by avocadomoon (Obi-Wan/Padmé, one-shot, 33.5k words) Obi-Wan and (a slightly older) Padmé keep in touch after the events on Naboo and keep their eventual marriage out of the public eye. Qui-Gon lives, but the Council still doesn't accept Anakin for training so he and Shmi are taken in by a wonderful benefactor -- Sheev Palpatine. Nothing can go wrong there, right? This is an absolutely fascinating re-imagining of the prequels era. I'm so sad it's only a one-shot, because there's so much to explore here.

on sith holocrons and misunderstandings by billowypants (gen, one-shot, 7.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) As the summary says, "de-aged!Obi-Wan has the same Force bonds as adult Obi-Wan, and he does not react well." Bit of an understatement, that. This fic really makes me feel bad for both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Wrap them up in blankets and give them hugs, please.

In Control by @kckenobi (gen, one-shot, 3.5k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) I don't normally seek out fics with young Anakin, but I love KCKenobi's stuff so I was like "I'm game" and that was most definitely not a mistake. What a cute fic this is! The basic premise is that Anakin is getting his license to drive/fly a speeder and poor Obi-Wan is dragged along for the ride, literally. Highly recommend.

always gold by @happygiraffe (gen, 4/4 chapters, 10k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Obi-Wan hasn't been Master to Anakin for that long before he finds out his cancer is back. Oh man. Let me tell you, I don't cry easily. Really, I don't. But the most recent time I read this fic, I had to set my phone down at the end and ugly-sob for literally ten minutes before I could properly compose myself. It affected me that much. This fic showed me the power of words. My only hope is that one day I will be able to accomplish what @happygiraffe has with this fic!

fill pages with scribbled ink by magneticwave (Obi-Wan/Padmé, one-shot, 9.8k words) If I haven't talked about this fic already on here (and I might have?) then I have committed a crime. It's another Obi-Wan/Padmé fic, which is a ship I've never had a problem with but don't normally seek out, but the ones on this list are so, so good. This fic is told entirely through comm messages, and it's such a brilliant way to tell this story. I cheered the whole way through.

having loved a little while by @giggles-and-freckles (Padmé/Anakin, 1.5k words, Padmé & Ahsoka, Ahsoka & Anakin) Okay genuinely I had a hard time deciding between the four(?) fics @giggles-and-freckles wrote for the Chaos Company Exchange because they all brought me such joy, but this one stands out. Padmé is teaching Ahsoka how to cook in her apartment and they're having a really lovely moment when Anakin bursts in and then has to try and explain his unexpected presence to Ahsoka. This story had me going "awww!" in the beginning and then dying of laughter by the end. So much fun, seriously. I laughed out loud multiple times.

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone's Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

#fic recs #star wars #sw tcw #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #padmé amidala #satine kryze #yoda #dooku #star wars fanfiction

[bunchofstraydogs]

Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him

Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.

Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu

Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.

Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:

"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"

followed by

"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."

This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.

Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.

Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.

Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.

•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"

Yeah, i feel bad for him too.

He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,

so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.

Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.

At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.

When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.

He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.

He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.

He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.

I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.

The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.

"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."

From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.

It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.

Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.

That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.

Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.

Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.

For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.

Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.

He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.

He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.

"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."

Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.

The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.

Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.

He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.

It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-

Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~

That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.

There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?

Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.

This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.

#dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #bsd #meta #dazai osamu headcanon #dazai osamu headcanons #hc #hcs #psychoanalysis

[sindulgence666]

MC belongs to GenZ

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Warnings: implied suicidal ideation, uncensored cursing

Characters: 7 brothers + side characters

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Lucifer

He has threathened your life multiple times, yet it continues to shock him how you seemed to be okay with the idea of dying

“Awesome, dead people ain’t having to do homework”

The fuck?

Grows concerned for MC’s well being

Sometimes, he gets caught so off-guard he can’t even come up with something to answer

“Mammon, you do that ONE more time and I will hang you from the ceiling”

“That’s kinky”

“Hey, Pridey Mc’Prideface!”

?????

Someone please help this man

Mammon

?????

Genuinely so confused and concerned

Also takes advantage of your behaviour tho

You’re the perfect partner in crime

Though sometimes you do freak him out

“Mammon, let’s commit arson”

What the fuck, MC

Leviathan

Lololol same

“For Diavolo’s sake, just let me die already”

“Same”

Actually gets along with you very well

Sometimes he does get a bit concerned tho

Humans shouldn’t sleep that little, right?

“DID YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE LACTATE THROUGH THE SKIN OF THEIR ARMPIT AFTER GIVING BIRTH!?”

“MC, it’s three in the morning, what the fuck”

Satan

MC, are you okay?

Has to sit you down and have a serious talk with you after you two were watching a series where someone jumped off a building and you suddenly said “mood”

Scolds you whenever you make self-depreciating jokes

Is always reminding you to eat properly or to get enough sleep

Basically becomes your mom

“You think I’d break something if I try to jump from the top of the staircase?”

“MC, no”

“MC YES”

Asmodeus

LOUD GASP

MC, that is not good for your skin!

Sighs and shakes his head whenever you say negative things about yourself

“Sweetie don’t say such horrible things, you’re beautiful”

Constantly pampers you and kidnaps you to have spa days

“MC, how many energy drinks have you drank today?”

“Yes”

Beelzebub

????

So confused

You are so great, why do you talk about yourself like that?

Is very concerned about you forgetting to eat

Tries his best to make sure you are taking proper care of yourself

“Do you think I can finish a family-sized pizza in less than 30 minutes?”

He definitely could, but humans shouldn’t eat that much?

“Are you okay?”

Belphegor

Didn’t understand how you could forgive him so easily even after killing you

A few weeks after living with you, everything was clear

Feels guilty for the entire murder thing whenever you jokingly bring it up or you mention you want to die

“Hey, Belphie, kill me again so I don’t have to do this”

“MC…”

“I crave death”

Sometimes just forces you to sleep so he doesn’t have to deal with your shit

Also does this because he knows you sleep way less than you should

Diavolo

Finds your behaviour… amusing

Soon grows worried about your well-being

Makes Barbatos make sure you don’t get yourself killed

Humans are supposed to be fragile creatures, right?

THEN WHY WERE YOU SO RECKLESS

Someone help him before he gets a heart attack

Barbatos

Has to make sure you don’t do something stupid enough to get yourself killed

Misterious butler always has your back

When he knows you’re not in real danger, he likes to watch your shenanigans

He’s allowed to have fun too, right?

“MC, I kindly suggest you stop that behaviour”

“Okay boomer”

It’s not wise of you to test his patience

Simeon

So concerned

Doesn’t understand 90% of the things that came out of your mouth

“MC, I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re trying to say?”

Does not trust to leave you and Solomon alone

Another hen mom

“MC, I do not think that’s a good idea”

“Meh, I’ll do it for the vine”

“Do it for the what”

Luke

?????

MC please stop putting yourself in such risky situations

You shouldn’t be saying you want to die

MUCH LESS IN FRONT OF DEMONS

Becomes overprotective of you

Solomon

This bitch,,,

Just encourages your bad decisions

“I’ll give you 7,000 grimm if you go and bite Lucifer”

“No way”

“10,000 grim”

“Aight bet”

He’s even worse than Mammon

You two get along very well since you get all the references you make

You are also a threat not only to yourselves, but to the entire Devildom

#obey me #obey me! #om! lucifer #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #leviathan #lucifer #mammon #satan #om! mammon #om! leviathan #om! satan #om! asmodeus #om! beelzebub #om! belphegor #om! mc #om! diavolo #om! solomon #om! barbatos #om! simeon #om! luke #om! scenario #om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me! shall we date? #om! headcannon

[emimothvine]

📁 for the fuckboy anon.

TW: toxic relationships and abuse

Bakugou has a distorted understanding of romance.

His mother is always loud, always pushing and pushing and pushing until she gets what she wants. She’s violent; she’s crass; she hits her husband when she gets mad because it makes her feel powerful, hits her son because that’s just what you’re supposed to do with shitty kids like him, right?

His father is quiet. Unassuming. No one expects much of him, and that’s exactly how he likes it. Honesty eludes him; manipulation is his friend. He lies to his wife when she asks him where he was last night, lies to his son when he asks why his mother hurts him like she hates him.

Bakugou also wants to be the best. He loves a challenge, thrives in spite and winning and the thrill of proving people wrong. So when his friends start teasing him about his lack of romantic life, he takes it like the bait it was never meant to be.

Long story short, Bakugou gets into a toxic relationship.

It’s a general studies girl. She’s been approaching him, flirting with him, constantly for weeks. He’s told her no, told her to fuck off multiple times, but she’s kept at it. And that’s a good thing, right? Admirable. It means she’s serious, persistent, stubborn, strong. Just like his mother was when she’d gone after his dad. This is how relationships work, isn’t it?

Bakugou thinks so. So when she corners him outside the locker room for the fiftieth time, he tells her yes - just two days after his squad’s teasing. The two go on their first date that weekend, and Bakugou tells the squad the following Monday.

They look shocked, and weirdly enough, not nearly as happy about this new development as Bakugou had anticipated. But they’re supportive, despite their strained smiles.

Bakugou keeps going out with this girl. He doesn’t like it much, but he made a commitment and damn him if he’s going to back out now. For a while, she sits with him and the squad at lunch, always clinging to his arm and demanding a share of his food even though she knows she can’t handle the spice. Bakugou honestly thinks it’s cute how she pushes past her limits like that, finds it refreshing how she isn’t afraid to throw his shit right back at him when he’s being a dick. 

(The class is always weirdly nice to him when he fucks up, but she isn’t; she tells him when he’s being lazy or stupid or mean and it’s familiar. It makes sense. He listens when she tells him to shut up because his laugh is too ugly, to stay still when she kisses him even if he doesn’t want to. He listens because that’s what you’re supposed to do in relationships, and he always gives his best no matter what.) 

(His friends... don’t seem to like her very much. He doesn’t know why.)

She starts dragging him away during lunches. Bakugou supposes it makes sense; they’re dating, so they’re supposed to spend a lot of time together. She gets angry at him when he doesn’t text her back right away, and a lot of their dates are scheduled on the same days as Bakusquad hangouts. When Bakugou tries to back out, to explain, she pushes and pushes and pushes, and he lets her.

(His mom is happy with him, too. He let it slip that he got a girlfriend, and she called him brat and ruffled his hair like she hasn’t in years. You’re lucky she has shit taste, she said, told him not to scare her away by being a pest.)

(And quietly, secretly, he wants her to look at him like that again. Like he’s worth something. He wants her to smile at him more and pet his hair and love him, just a little bit. So he keeps at it, keeps going out with this girl as she tells him to stop talking so much and don’t smile, you look like a lunatic and it’s just a hickey, Suki, don’t be such a prude.)

He comes to class and he can’t look anyone in the eye, because he knows they see the marks on his neck and his face. The imprints of teeth and bruises and little crescent moons on his cheeks and his jaw and his nape from her fingernails. She likes to dig them into his face to get his attention, into his neck to keep him still while she kisses him. (It’s almost worse than the hickeys, because they’re proof of how often he fucks up, how often she needs to set him straight.)

She slaps him sometimes, when he’s done something especially shitty - ignored her for too long, said the wrong thing. Sometimes she’ll ignore him for a few days, when she’s tired of dealing with his shit, but she always comes back. She’s nice about it too - doesn’t make him drag himself out to apologize like his mom does.

Meanwhile, his classmates, his friends, his teachers are just. So concerned. Fucking enraged. Bakugou has become subdued in a way that they have never seen before, and Deku, for his part, is terrified and furious. This girl walks all over his Kacchan and he just lets her, and for the life of him Deku can’t figure out why.

(Once, at lunch, when she and Bakugou were still sitting with them in the cafeteria, she told Bakugou to laugh quieter, it’s gross and everyone can hear you. And he’d just listened. That wide, rare, precious grin had been wiped right off his face and he’d quieted down instantly. No one had said anything out of pure shock.)

(Kirishima, Mina, the rest of the squad, Deku, Uraraka, hell even Todoroki - they were seething. Because Bakugou rarely, rarely let himself laugh like that - hell, all of them sans Deku could count on one hand the times they’d seen his little happy-smile - and this bitch had destroyed those few precious seconds of genuine, carefree laughter because she was fucking self-conscious. If they could kill people with a look, half the goddamn class would have been charged with murder.)

They all hate her. They want to grab Bakugou and shake him and tell him to break up with this bitch, but he doesn’t even have the time to talk to them anymore. The squad wants their Katsuki back, Deku wants his Kacchan back, the class wants their friend back. It’s been weeks. They don’t know what to do.

Their savior comes in the form of one Shinsou Hitoshi.

He’s been watching all this go down from afar, and it’s pissed him right off. He doesn’t know Bakugou that well, honestly thinks he’s a bit of an asshole, but he likes him. He cares about him. They spar occasionally (or they used to), and it’s grueling and fun and satisfying as shit. 

There’s this... something in Bakugou. Too big and too bright to call a fire, too hot and too close to call the sun. And this girl - this toxic, abusive bitch - is smothering it, smothering him, and Shinsou is sick of it.

It’s week six of this bullshit and he does what no one has managed to do in all that time: he finds Bakugou and corners him - away from that toxic bitch he calls his girlfriend.

(Let’s all thank Aizawa for that one. Underground hero training is useful as shit.)

He confronts him about it - asks him, pointblank, “Why do you put up with her?”

And all he gets in response is the most genuinely bemused expression he’d ever seen on Bakugou’s face. 

Something in Shinsou’s stomach drops.

“The fuck are you on about?”

“Your girlfriend, dipshit,” he says, like it’s obvious, because it is. “Why do you let her treat you like shit?”

Bemusement shifts into pure, unadulterated confusion, and that thing in Shinsou’s stomach falls right down to his feet.

“I don’t let her do shit, dumbass.” He almost sounds indignant. “Now outta my way, I got places to be.”

Bakugou lightly shoves past him, but Shinsou grabs his wrist before he can leave. The blond glances back at him in irritation. Pale, fluorescent light casts dramatic shadows across his face, darkens the marks and the bruises dotting fair skin.

Shinsou grits his teeth. “She hurts you.”

Bakugou doesn’t even hesitate. “Yeah, so?”

The brainwasher’s grip goes slack. 

He doesn’t fully register that Bakugou has dislodged his arm until he’s standing alone in the hallway, but when he does, the first thought that crosses his mind is I have to tell dad.

(The thing about Shinsou is that he knows abuse. He knows what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it feels like, because he’s been through it himself. And yet for the longest time, he had no idea that what his foster parents were doing even constituted as wrong.)

(Then he met Aizawa, and he learned a few things. It fucking sucked, and for a while, nothing felt real and everything was wrong and he didn’t know what to do. But Aizawa was there for him, helped him through all the nitty-gritty-shitty parts of having your whole world turned inside-out, and lo-and-behold, Shinsou got adopted like four months ago.)

(But the point is, Shinsou isn’t an idiot. He knows this shit, he’s been through this shit, and the fact of the matter is that there is no way Bakugou would think that what he’s going through is okay unless he’s used to it. So what the fuck does Shinsou do now?)

(He goes to the man that pulled him out of the fire.)

(“Dad, I need to talk to you.”)

#I will FINISH this TRAVESTY #but TOMORROW because I am TIRED #seriously you fuckboy what the hell #this was supposed to be short #how did this even happen #bakusquad #toxic relationships #bakudeku #todobaku #kiribaku #platonic bakushin #dadzawa

[statichvm]

multiples of.... 4 for whoever you're feeling most 👀

apparently it’s world rat day

4.) - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

No, not at all. Dwight was part of the group of dumbasses that Julie happened to stumble upon while she was first in Virginia. His gun was out of ammo, and the only other loaded weapon his group had was a pistol one of the others had dropped... that was... currently being trampled by a group of dead trying to claw their way up the truck they were standing on top of. It wasn’t a good look for them, and honestly Julie saw him (and the rest of his group) as an easy mark to grab some food and water off of. They clearly had some kind of home base, so she assisted in getting them out of trouble. His first impression of her was that she was... a feral woman who spawned out of the woods, albeit at a good time for him. His opinion of her was good enough to bring her back to the Sanctuary though, if not just to replace the man they lost in the scuffle.

8.) - What do the like best about their partner?

It feels pretty fucking ridiculous to type, but Julie loves how gentle he is with her. That’s not to say he’s a gentle man, but there’s something different about the way that he touches her versus the way (for a while, anyways) he approaches literally anything or anyone else. As they settle into their new lives post-Saviors, he does begin to soften towards more people, but there’s always a very specific gentleness he keeps reserved just for her.

On the other hand, Dwight admires Julie’s fierceness. It’s not her brutality or in any physical sense, but the way that she doesn’t allow anyone or anything to dim her fire. She knows who she is and what she’s worth, and it’s not something that she’s willing to compromise for anyone or anything. She’s never afraid to make her opinions known or to stand up for herself, even in situations where it may be easier for her to just stay quiet and stay down.

12.) - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

They actually do get married! It’s a very... rustic event at the Springs Camp. The trees were decorated with half broken Christmas lights someone had stashed in a camper since the beginning, and it was definitely a whole camp kinda ordeal, save for the people who had to work the walls. Julie got too drunk and fell off a picnic table after hopping up to dance. Ana had to stitch up a little cut on her forehead in the middle of the “reception” after being a few drinks in herself. 10/10 would do it again.

The proposal itself happened outside of camp at one of the spots Julie had taken to visiting when she was out on runs, out by a tiny waterfall. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for them to stop by that spot while they were out, so she didn’t see it coming at all. He didn’t actually have a ring when he decided to propose (though they found one by the time they actually got married) so he just kinda... did it empty handed and hoped she’d say yes anyways.

No honeymoon to speak of, unless you count the fact that they both got two whole days off after the wedding. Luxury... decadence...

16.) - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

Oh yeah. Even with all his ‘subtle’ urging for her to walk away from Negan and the Saviors, Juliana genuinely had no clue that he’d double crossed them and was feeding information to Rick’s group until she actually saw him shooting at their people herself. It was... one of the most painful blows she’d ever taken in her entire life, but even after she makes it back to the Sanctuary, she makes the decision to not sell him out. She does hold a gun to him and more or less tell him to stay away from her or she will tell Negan when he shows up in her room after managing to make it back as a double agent, but she never actually does. Honestly, she’s not entirely sure if she could’ve.

Another secret is just the way they felt about each other. For all intents and purposes, they were friends at the Sanctuary. But after Sherry took off and things were ramping up, feelings definitely started to get mixed up and blurry, and by the time Julie agrees to help him go after Sherry, it... definitely was not something she should’ve agreed to if she honestly took her feelings into account at all. She assumed this was all one sided, which... he was also assuming the same thing. She’s helping him look for his wife, so there can’t be anything there, right? And of course his own confused feelings were just... the adrenaline from the war, and then being stuck with her every day for months, right?

20.) - What does their home look like? Their room?

They’ve lived in two different cabins since they got to the Springs. The first one was a tiny one room deal that basically had a bunk bed (yes Julie was top bunk), a desk, and a chair. It was a pretty cramped situation, and honestly was smaller than one of their rooms back at the Sanctuary, but the bigger cabins were reserved for families. When Julie gets pregnant with Jackson, they’re finally able to move into one of the bigger cabins (which... Bo comes pretty soon after, so they needed the room..). The settlement is actually based off a real campground in the real national park, so have an actual floor plan of their second place:

24.) - Any doubts about the relationship?

A million before they’re actually together. I touched on it a bit above, but they had a serious case of “haha of course... i am not in love... with my buddy... my pal...” and it takes approximately a million years for them to sort their shit out. Their romantic relationship more or less started on a trip looking for his runaway wife, so obviously there’s some confusion there just from that. I threw most of his FTWD arc out the window, but I am keeping the bit where he finds a letter from his wife that tells him to stop looking for her and to find “something to live for” instead. That really serves as a catalyst for him to start looking at his feelings for Julie as what they are instead of pushing them down and ignoring them. Once they’re actually together though? Nah. As soon as the cards are on the table, they’re both committed and sure.

28.) - What are their vacations like?

They’ve literally never gotten a real vacation, unless you count the times that neither of them happen to be pulling security shifts or going outside of camp that day. In no outbreak, they like to pull together all of like... twenty bucks they have to their name and go on little “road trips” to cities or towns neither of them have seen before.

32.) - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

When they were both Saviors, they were, to put it lightly, fucking assholes. No matter what justifications they had for their actions, they were robbing and murdering people for their own selfish interests. Both of them managed to piss off people to the point of multiple people trying to actively kill them, so yeah they absolutely managed to get into some serious shit. Nowadays, they’re both actively trying to be better people and put that behind them. Julie’s not opposed to pranking people around camp, though. :(

36.) - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Answered here!

40.) - Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

I briefly mentioned it above when I was talking about the proposal, but they have a lot of little getaway spots they both frequent when they’re outside camp walls. They’re living in a national park that’s... absolutely fucking stunning, even with the literal zombie apocalypse raging around them, and Julie especially likes to explore and find new spots. She often laments not having a camera to photograph some of the landscape, but she does have a map of the park that she marks up with her favorite spots so they can go back together. His memory is a problem, so he eventually starts to do the same.

44.) - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Answered here!

#I AM SO SORRY SOME OF THESE ARE A NOVEL #CAN YALL TELL IVE BEEN GOING INSANE #juliana/dwight #oc: juliana oliveira #asks #foofygoldfish

[lolathepeacocklord]

Chapter 3 – Helping Hand

  “It’s not safe to be walking around all by yourself. There’s a lot out here that can and probably will try to kill you.” The new stranger took Smith’s hand and started to pull him away down the alley. He progressed down to a dead end and opened up a door to the left, which led to a very dark room inside the building. The place was relatively large, at least compared to other buildings in town. It probably had three floors. Smith was very hesitant on walking into the pitch black room. That guy seemed to just disappear into the abyss.

Why was he even following him? It could be some loony that was gonna kill and eat him. It’s been a damn long time since he’s met anybody nice out here. And the fact he talked normally like him was also a bit confusing. Were sane people more common then he thought they were?

He grunted and inhaled sharply- tightening his grip over to bleeding wound. Oh yeah, he just remembered why the guy dragged him here in the first place.

  The smoker gained the courage to take a step into the house, and hissed when he got a light shined in his face for a split second.

“Sorry, sorry!” The man said, a little bit panicked. “We… Don’t have electricity here really. There’s a backup generator in the basement. It’s out of gas though.” He twisted the flashlight a bit and made it’s spotlight larger so the room could be seen better. Now that more of the place was visible this place looked like a run down motel. Well it was the literal apocalypse, so of course things are gonna be trashed, but he still assumed the highest rating this place ever got was three stars. Even that felt a bit generous.

   The man had gone off to get both that flashlight and seemingly a medkit. “Could you sit down please? I’d like to take care of that sooner rather then later.”

“Yeah me too.” Smith murmured and sat down. At least the guy seemed to know what he was doing. He started to help clean around the wound which hurt like fucking hell. Smith still felt on the cautious side with this man, just because he met him about seven minutes ago. He didn’t even know the guy’s name.

“I’m Alex by the way.” He had a gentle little smile on his face. “Sorry for grabbing you off the street so suddenly. I just didn’t want you to be out in the open too long. Especially if you have an open wound.”

“Smith. Thanks for the help.” Well at least they were getting to know each other. He would have done this mini surgery by himself, but… This was a bullet. He’s dealt with slashes and cuts and stuff, so there was a tiny bit of experience there with stitches. But he’s never taken a literal bullet out of himself before. Or anyone else.

  “Are you… Sure you know what you’re doing?” The smoker asked nervously.

“Yeah! I’ve been having a little practice recently. I got a friend who is a bit reckless. He’s… Been shot more then once definitely.” Alex rummaged through the medkit and eventually pulled out some pliers. They didn’t look… Too rusty. “Just letting you know, this is about to hurt. A lot. So just keep yourself braced.”

Smith tried to force himself to look away from this, but would continue to glance back a lot. The wound for some reason looked bigger then it did earlier. Wider. At least it gave a little more room for Alex to insert the tweezers, and it hurt like hell. Alex needed to grip his wrist just so he didn’t rip his arm away from him. The little bullet was deep in there, and blood continued to pour from the wound again. The smoker grunted slightly and clenched his teeth hard, resting his chin in the palm of his other hand. After several agonizing minutes the little piece of metal clinked onto the tabletop and rolled around in a tiny circle. Alex and Smith both sighed with relief. “Worst part’s over. Good job!” Alex gave a thumbs up and cleaned the wound the rest of the way now. There was a mediocre set of a needle and thread, so he continued to carefully stitch up the wound again. He knew what he was doing… Mostly. The apocalypse has really been helping him learn a thing or two in the medical field. At least enough to treat multiple bullet wounds and occasionally the claw marks and gashes from melee weapons.

    Alex looked up at Smith every once in a while to just kind of... Get a look at this guy. He stared at the hole in the wall nervously, having green catlike eyes. And the schlera was a bright yellow that almost seemed like it glowed. Or maybe it just reflected light well or something, he wasn't sure. His hair went all the way down the back of his neck and curled a bit at the end. The right side of his head was shaved and he had several piercings on his ears, and one on his remaining eyebrow. He had a tiny little scar more on the right side of his lips. He seemed like he was a Hispanic American mix. Definitely an interesting looking guy.

  “There we go, good as new!” Alex said happily, closing the kit again as Smith examined the work with the bandages. Nothing felt loose, and most of the bleeding seemed to be stopping. "Thanks, um... Alex." Smith said, returning a tiny smile. The guy sure seemed optimistic, especially since it was, oh you know, the end of the world. Suddenly Smith felt incredibly awkward.

    "So um... Are you just, like, some tumor guy?" He asked, getting a confused look from Alex. "What do you mean?"

"Well you're clearly not a survivor. Or well, an immune survivor. And you got the whole tumor mess going on there." Smith put his elbow on the table, resting his head in his palm. "Wish I was as lucky as you. Not single tentacle hanging out as far as I see."

Alex continued to stare, looking just as awkward and confused as Smith felt right now. "I'm... Not a smoker. Have you- never seen a boomer before?"

Smith blinked. "A what now?"

  Alex took in a deep breathe and sighed gently. The flashlight on the table began flickering. He grabbed it and smacked it against his palm a few times before getting the regular shine back. “There we go. You should really keep batteries anytime you find them. Big, small, medium- you never know what they’d come in handy for!”

“… Right, uh… I kinda wanted to know what a boomer was? And you keep talking about these other people. Who exactly- what- I’m a little lost right now.”

“Right right, sorry.” Alex quickly put the light back and began to tell the smoker everything he knew.

  “I saw some guy behind a building throwing up everywhere, really violently. I went to see if he was alright. He had these growths starting to grow on his arms and face, and I asked him if I needed to call an ambulance. And then he just… Without any warning at all-” He looked like he might throw up as well. “Dear god, the guy just blew up like a balloon- blood and shit going everywhere. P-People thought I committed a murder, and there was a security camera nearby thank god. I was let off the hook just because people had no idea what happened there. The investigation didn’t last long because, well… Heh. Ahem- I started to get really sick and well, look where I am now. Yeah.”

   Smith felt bad for bringing up such a touchy subject. The guy seemed genuinely ashamed he had become this monstrosity, so that made him feel even worse. He tried to change the subject somewhat and said “How are your other friends doing? They doing… Well?”

The two were quite for several minutes, just staring at each other. Alex eventually grabbed the flashlight and rose from his seat. “Come with me, I’ll introduce you to the others.”

   Smith became increasingly more worried as he was given a tour around the motel. A lot of the walls and doorways were outright demolished, and at this point he was a little scared to ask who and what would have caused that. Alex’s low-context answer somehow made it feel worse.

“For the type of infected Brutus is, he’s actually a bit smaller compared to other infected. Doesn’t mean he can’t cause a ton of destruction.” He said, sounding like he was just talking to himself, because this was not giving Smith the answer he wanted regarding the destruction. At least he made it sound like it was their friend? Whatever this Brutus thing was. Alex eventually turned over to one room and gently knocked on the door before slowly opening it. “… Hello, you awake?”

   There was another destroyed wall (lovely) inside the room, so that was… Something. The room itself was more interesting. Whoever lived here seemed to horde a lot of blankets and pillow, and a big mattress too. It looked a bit squished though, and there was a big blanket that was clearly made by sewing together a bunch of other blankets. More off to the corner of the room was a huge pile of pillows and blanket. The uneasy part was was the fact a hand was sticking out from the pile. A hand with very, very long claws.

   “She doesn’t like super bright lights. So if you wanna wake her up ever, just… Don’t do that.” Alex turned off the flashlight and walked over to speak to the pile of pillows. Smith looked around nervously at the dark building and checked again to see if a hallway lamp was working. The answer was no, and he sighed softly. He suddenly felt a tingling in his throat and put his hand over his mouth, coughing repeatedly. He was doing his best to keep it down, so he tried moving down the hall a bit. Alex then came out and waved at him. “Blance is up! Just- whenever you’re done doing you.”

   Smith forced down the coughing fit surprisingly, and watched a woman walk out the doorway, mumbling something to herself. The claws were really intimidating, and she kind of seemed to have a resting bitch face. That or she always looked angry when she got woken up to meet random strangers. She wore a baggy keyhole sweater that was a bit of a tan color, a dark gray denim skirt, and some pantyhose that were pretty raggedy and torn up. She didn’t wear any kind of shoes. Or at least not at the moment? Yeah, who went to bed with shoes on. And unless you were there to witness it and had a sharp memory, you probably wouldn’t be able to find anything in that room.

“So you’re the new guy?” She asked, looking at Smith with slight distaste. She looked a couple inches shorter then Alex and had long dirty blonde hair that covered most of the right side of her face. She brushed it out of the way to squint at Smith, and Alex turned the flashlight back on by now. She cringed at the sight of him having even more tumors then her friend right next to her. “You smell awful, god.” Well, she clearly wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. Smith was glad to see she still had both of her eyes in their sockets, unharmed and everything. She let the hair fall back over her face and Alex asked “Where did Brutus go Blance? I’m sorry to interrupt you starting a nap, I just haven’t heard him.”

“Heard him?” Smith asked.

“Yeah, you can definitely hear him walking around. I’ll show you why in a minute.” Alex said. “But this is Blance! Blance, this is Smith. He is a smoker, and Smith, she is something called a witch-”

“I can already tell why he has that name. Just his voice says it all.” She murmured, and didn’t give Smith time to react to that comment. “Also I’ve been… Asleep. For a while now. I thought you would know where he was.”

Alex stared blankly at her. “No… I said I was gonna check the building next door, see if it had anything there. You were supposed to keep an eye on Brutus. He does seem to hang around you more anyways.”

  Smith watched the two go back and forth, just trying to figure out who the hell had been looking after this Brutus guy. He was starting to get the impression he was some sort of child, but how could a child destroy a building like this? Not like throwing things off shelves and breaking vases- actually destroying the place. He just wanted to know what the fuck was going on with these new infected her was meeting. Was that really so much for him to ask?

And that’s when things really started to go down.

   Alex literally screamed like a girl when they all heard a huge crash outside. Not directly outside, but really damn close. Maybe just behind the building near them. Immediately after the crash a car alarm was going off like crazy. And then they heard the sound of a horde coming over.

“We might’ve just found him.” Blance said, and started running away, and out through a hole in the building, Alex stammered a bunch and tried to stop her before running off in a different direction of the building to get something.

“What the hell’s happening!?” Smith yelled.

  “Sorry, I-I’m so sorry. I haven’t been telling you anything about that, I just- Thought it’d be better to introduce you first.” Alex had gone over to a closet where there were a ton of guns stored. “Jesus, where did you get all these?” Smith asked, staring in awe.

“This city has really dangerous litter nowadays. Here-” Alex just shoved a gun into Smith’s arms. He gave him this heavy baggy too, and when he opened it up he saw why. It had a ton of magazines for the gun. Alex grabbed himself a shotgun and shoved a bunch of shells into his pockets before he shut the door. He started to run off in the same path he saw Blance go, but stopped in his tracks for a minute.

   “You don’t have to come you know! Just keep that on you in case you need to defend yourself.” Alex told Smith, who was keeping close behind him.

“No no no, I wanna come with you. Just so I can know what the hell is happening around here.” Smith said. “You guys may need extra protection, and I’m glad to provide it!

   Alex smiled at him, still seeming very panicked. “I’ll explain all of this later, don’t worry.” He said and patted the smoker’s shoulder. “Just brace yourself- you’re going to see a lot of weird things from here on out.”

Smith didn’t take in how right those words were going to mean in the next several minutes. Alex didn’t even know what was gonna be in store. All they knew was that the witch ran away, there was a horde, something happened with a car, and they just needed to go on from there. So the two kept their guns in their arms, waited for an opening so they weren’t just running directly through a horde, and just followed the zombies over to the noise.

#OH YEAH BABY #SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN #IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FINISH THIS HSHHJRFSHFSJ IM SORRY #anywayssss~ #things are just gonna be going nuts from here on out- SO GET READY #and prepare for even more characters the next chapter~ #till next time #lola out #<3 #l4d #left 4 dead #l4d2 #left 4 dead 2 #l4d oc #l4d smoker #l4d boomer #l4d witch #oc fanfiction #l4d fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #can't believe I didn't tag it with the l4d stuff earlier #f

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober Day 21: Palette

Aight, first and foremost, this is not a pretty story and these character are morally veeery bad people lol. And the colors I used for Massacre Anne in the first piece are not at all what they really are, they’re just the palette swap thing. Moving on to the story:

MASSACRAZE

Based on the song Massacre Anne by Mary Crowell:

Massacre Anne was a well-known mass murderer, on a rampage for years until a powerful wizard cornered her. She expected to die, but he gave her a choice. He marked her bones, making her more powerful and chaining her to his will. He would use her to clean up the other powerful law breakers.

She killed evildoers for years, armed with a magical list showing all her opponents, a sentient sword, and a mammoth as transportation. She never complained, she loved the thrill of being able to kill powerful opponents.

Then, one year, a Lord of Necromancy who routinely (and illegally) brought zombies back to life to search for his lost love (and to release his… desires when it’s not her), at the basement of the Wizard Tower, accidentally opened doors one too many times and unleashed the Angel of Darkness. With the angel gone from its realm, all souls became unleashed, and zombies littered the desert.

The Angel of Darkness took the chance to go out and get revenge on those who he feels are unworthy and wrong. He starts with the wizard commission, killing them all and inhaling the Master, keeping him prisoner inside his stomach. He spares the Lord of Necromancy because he feels no threat from him, instead, gratitude. The Lord of Necromancy is shaken but takes being spared by cowering in his room with a zombie girl caught in the crossfire.

Before getting inhaled, the Master sends an SOS to Massacre Anne. She goes to the temple as fast as she can, but all she finds are the feathers of the angel and the emergency power rings her Master never took off. She puts them on and finds the Lord of Necromancy in the basement. When she hears of what happened, she forcefully takes the Lord and zombie girl with her on her quest. She claims she will never rest until she gets her Master back!

…. But first how about some more killings to let her blow off steam? She goes to the desert to check her paper for some quick stops, only to find her names disappearing one by one. She’s distraught, her kill count is shrinking! She investigates by going to the last name, hoping to get there before they’re killed as well.

The last name is of a Priest of Guile and Elocution. He was a Priest who took advantage of his smooth talk to trick many people through the years, eventually leading to him having to sign a contract with a devil in order to not die. Little did he know, the devil was already working for another; his rival for power, the king of the desert. He was framed for many crimes he didn’t commit, and incarcerated. It was the night before his execution when the Angel of Death burst into the kingdom, powered up with the souls of all the criminals they killed, demanding the devil come out and fight him. The king, now possessed by the devil, proceeds to fight with the Angel; in the confusion, the jail is crushed and the Priest almost escapes, before getting snatched by Massacre Anne. They get away from the town just before it was completely decimated, and Massacre Anne hides the Priest with them on a cave; her base.

There, she learns more about the Angel of Death and the Devil thanks to the priest. The Angel of Death used to be a pure one, the most naïve of all angels, but he was tricked by the king with help of the Devil and her Master into going down to Earth. Once he stepped foot on the ground, he was attacked by Master, and stripped of his holiness in order to feed the Devil. After he was drained, they tossed him aside, making him too weak to fly back up to heaven, and too tainted to be rescued by his fellow angels. Instead, the ground swallowed him, and he became the keeper of souls, the Angel of Death. Try as he might, he had no power to get out, but he bid his time until he could. Overtime, his strength was regained, but he was still trapped.

Then he was unleashed by the Lord of Necromancy and here we are.

Boosted by the power of many living souls, the Angel of Death defeats the Devil, crushing him and the king, feeding on their power as well, regaining his holiness in the process. The problem, though, was he was still a tainted angel; mixing the two causes a reaction in him, turning him into a demigod.

He plans on going to heaven now and destroying the angels that abandoned him. Once he’s up there, Massacre Anne and the rest wont be able to stop him, and the Master will be doomed.

They need a plan.

They agree to work together, and they stage a trap with multiple layers. Lord of Necromancy manages to hold the angel down by overwhelming him with a mountain of zombies, the Priest uses his possession powers to keep the angel in a sedated form, unable to fight, and Massacre Anne delivers the final blow, using all her power gained from her master.

It works.

He pops, and all the people he inhaled are back. The door sucks up all the lost souls and closes again, taking all the zombies with it (including the poor zombie girl everyone got attached to), and they are left back to normal. Except the Master’s energy has been reduced significantly and he has become a child now with his adult brain still intact. The big bad Master has now become much less of a threat, reverted to a child, and Massacre Anne fakes sweetness for am minute only to immediately try to kill him to get out of the contract, but no matter his power level, she is still bound to his will and cannot harm him. Now she must continue killing big opponents like before, but the Master joins her in order to soak up their power and restore his levels, much to her disdain. The Lord flees before he’s able to be persecuted, becoming another name in Massacre Anne’s list. His mission has been modified to bring back both his love and the young zombie he’s taken a parental role for, now with the added difficulty of not having the supplies he needs nor the portal chamber the Wizard Tower provided. He needs to build his own. The Priest returns to his position as leader of the church and, now with the king dead, his power is absolute. He will work closely with the Master to create new rules to follow… or else be persecuted. Massacre Anne is excited for the possibilities of more names being added with these revisions. (This is fuel for a second part to the story)

A few notes on the characters I couldn’t take pictures of cuz Tumblr has a limit of photos lol: 

Massacre Anne:

- A sociopath

- Really doesn’t understand feelings or empathy

- Has no interest in turning “good”.

- Hates her Master behind a smile

- Only searches for him because of his command. Was very theatrical the whole search for him and would constantly grooooaaan about it.

- Has a sentient weapon that changes shape but mostly takes the form of a sword cuz they’re cool. It’s the “Sword with a will of its own” in the song. It’s definitely her best friend and the only one that ‘gets her’. 

- The Priest and Lord somewhat befriend her as well, though they know they’d kill eachother if it came to it. Massacre Anne has formed a stronger bond with the Zombie Girl, and she went as far as calling her her only female friend. Zombie Girl genuinely likes Massacre Anne, though she finds some stuff she does offputting.

Lord of Necromancy:

- There’s no way around this, this man’s a bit of a necro, though he only takes corpses with souls and asks for consent. 

- On a normal day, his zombies would only last a week usually before their souls slip away.

- His kink started with his love, a the past head of the Wizard Tower, an older woman who took him under her wing. This dude is trans, and she was the only one that helped him fit into his body. She was kind and understanding, nurturing even, and he was hopelessly in love. She brought him to the basement and introduced him to zombie summoning. You can imagine what went on.

- Then she died in an accident. She maniacally laughed till the very end, excited and calling this her favorite experience yet. The Lord was distraught without her. He mourned for a day before beginning his search for her soul. He’s been looking for her for years.

- When he was stuck with the young zombie girl, he was annoyed at first. He has no use for ones as young as her, and to top it off, this girl was missing her tongue and was mute. Poor conversationalist. But with time, she really grew on him. And he began accepting her as his adopted child. When the portal closed and she was ripped from his arms, he nearly followed her. The Priest held him down and prevented him. Now it’s his duty to find both his love and his child.

Priest

- He’s selfish, egotistical, narcissistic..... but he’s smart af. He can play anyone like a fiddle.

- Celibate (read: He’s so self centered, everyone else just... disgusts him)

- Him and the Lord do NOT get along... though their relationship becomes more amicable with the more alcohol they drink. By the end, he saves the Lord in a moment of genuine concern that suprises everyone. Though he’ll always say it was just his instinct kicking in. Tsundere.

- He also became close to Zombie Girl, and even the Mammoth. Zombie Girl stuck to him and helped him get well (since when he was found, he had a fever and hadn’t eaten in days.) Afterwards, she would always listen to his ramblings and make him knicknacks like flower crowns and stick dollies. He once again would never admit it but he kept a few. He ends up liking the Mammoth becuase, though it is big, hairy and smelly, it’s helped the Priest many times as well, even blocking hits with its trunk. Ugh, feelings.

#traditional art #Digital art #Massacre Anne #Song art #Song story #Anne #Palette #Mammoth #Priest #Lord of Necromancy #Angel of Darkness #Story #oc-tober #october #oc tober #ocs #Massacraze

[thanksjro]

The Transformers, Issues #1-21: A Recap, For Research and Reference  Purposes, Because Otherwise it’s Just Going to Be Confusing

Before we begin, here’s a lightning round style recap on the 21 issues that took place prior to Roberts’ involvement:

Three years after the events of All Hail Megatron, the Autobots are in hiding, trapped on Earth with limited supplies, watching on as humanity attempts to rebuild itself. They don’t offer to help, because that would probably get them shot at- humans are still a little wary of the giant robots that friggin’ destroyed NYC, even if the Autobots are supposed to be the good guys. Sometimes the narration gets a little funny with words.

I know it has multiple meanings, but come on, who talks like this? I’ve always assumed Optimus Prime was the one narrating here, which is… well, IDW Prime has a very self-flagellating and elegant way of speaking. For better or for worse. God help you if Furman is at the wheel.

Of course, because the story needs conflict, Skywatch happens. Skywatch is a human agency whose job is to locate and eliminate all giant space robot threats. Prowl blows cover when the humans make it obvious that the kid gloves are off, ready to kill a Decepticon named Breakdown, and all hell breaks loose, as it is wont to do whenever the Transformers are involved.

Also, everyone looked like this, and it was bad for my eyeballs:

That night-demon is Ironhide. Don’t get too attached to him, he won’t be around for long. But then maybe also do, because he comes back, thanks to the power of comic books and being a giant robot. Do whatever you want, I’m not your mom.

Ironhide’s death leads Optimus to remove himself as leader of the Autobots, and he surrenders himself to Skywatch, because he hasn’t made a heroic sacrifice in the last twenty minutes.

By way of yet more property damage.

Optimus doesn’t name a successor, because he no longer feel fit to choose one. It’s probably actually so there’s plot tension over who the next Prime will be.

Also, Spike Witwicky fucks. He fucks and it’s awful.

With Optimus gone, Hot Rod- Rodimus now, though it’s never established when he decided to change his name or why- gets the hell out of dodge, having had his fill of Earth, and he takes a few friends along with him. Or, at least, he tries to. Decepticons kind of ruin that plan… and then they don’t, because they want in on some of that sweet, sweet getting the hell off of Earth. After all, the war’s over- no point in fighting anymore, right? Of course, Swindle is a part of the group, so take whatever that guy says with a grain of salt. A big grain, like the ones that come out of those fancy sea salt grinders.

Back with the guys who’ve decided to stick around for Optimus’ inevitable return, Bumblebee’s been nominated as the new leader of the Autobots. So much for being the kid appeal character- boy’s got responsibilities now.

Right after democracy happens, Ultra Magnus shows up looking for the boss.

He’s here to look into Ironhide’s death and Optimus’ defection/surrender to the humans. Dude must have booked it to get here, because that was like yesterday.

Any and all interactions between Spike Witwicky and Optimus go pretty much like this:

More people leave Bumblebee’s leadership. Rodimus is hunted down by Ultra Magnus for treason. Swindle channels his inner bisexual and starts dishing out some sweet finger guns.

He has excellent form.

Skywatch uses tech to lock the Autobots into their alt-modes, and starts targeting the defectors, in an attempt to get Optimus to talk to them.

Thundercracker watched TV for a year and a half, then had a midlife crisis, and now he’s following Swindle. Swindle starts asking Rodimus for more troops- er, friends to help them get off of Earth faster, trying to butter him up by calling him Rodimus Prime. I’d love to be able to tell you how that makes him feel, but you try parsing this friggin’ facial expression.

Magnus shows up, tries to arrest everyone, then leaves. Thundercracker has an epiphany about the nature of beauty he’s found in humanity, his soliloquy contrasted with the visual of a baby with a man’s head, and it’s genuinely upsetting to see.

All the faction insignias are photoshopped on, and it’s kind of distracting.

Swindle betrays Rodimus. Quelle surprise. Menasor shows up, and starts throwing robots around. Optimus Prime is released from prison and gets in touch with his inner monster truck. Rodimus steals Magnus’ ship and peaces out.

Over in space, the Decepticon forces have resorted to cannibalism to supplement rations, and Starscream has the Matrix of Leadership on a necklace.

The art switches over to something sort of like Hellboy, and that’s pretty cool. Too bad it only lasts for a single issue.

Skywatch and the Autobots form a tentative alliance. Megatron isn’t actually dead. Two guys in Skywatch throw themselves through a plate glass window for funsies. Spike commits a robot revenge killing. North Korea starts producing energon, and is working with the Decepticons.

Comic books are wild, y’all.

Spike doesn’t respect Bumblebee’s authority, going completely around him to talk to Prime while he’s having some alone time. The US President addresses the public in front of a hyperrealistic American flag.

The Autobots go covert in order to violate the UN sanctions. All the Transformers have vanity plates with their names on them. The Combaticons have a picnic on the lawn and show off their polyglotism. Optimus Prime gets in touch with his inner monster truck. The Autobot Naval forces get involved.

Bumblebee uses his pretty eyes on Thundercracker to try and convince him to help out, seeing as the Autobots don’t have any real air support at present, but it doesn’t work.

They’re very pretty. Thundercracker must have an iron will. Everyone gets weirdly handsome. The phrase “honked off” is used. Optimus Prime gets in touch with his inner monster truck.

I’m like 80% sure that license plate isn’t legal.

China gets involved, and it gets a little weird. Nuclear action is taken.

Cosmos will not be getting a lot more respect around here.

Thundercracker commits acts of terror to destroy the energon plants. Bumblebee addresses the rioting masses, and gets shot with a laser gun for his troubles.

Rodimus makes a pun and gets shot out of the sky. He survives by pulling a Indiana Jones fridge maneuver.

Starscream is turning into Gollum. The Cerebroshells are used with great flourish by Rodimus, who then holds Starscream at gunpoint. He shoots the Matrix.

Wow.

Rodimus attempts to sneak off of the asteroid, only to run into a rebuilt Megatron. Megatron proceeds to shoot him so hard in the chest he’s rocketed into orbit and is missing most of his torso.

The Don Figueroa cover of issue #14 seems to suggest that shooting Optimus Prime in the crotch is a valid plan of attack.

The gun Bumblebee was shot with looks an awful lot like Megatron’s alt-mode. Optimus isn’t mad, just disappointed. Ultra Magnus rejoins the narrative. Not a single human being in the military has a haircut that would pass regulation. The anti-robot cult is introduced. A sign that says “Fuck Robits” is seen in a protest. Soundwave shows up with his awful gremlin children and busts all the captured Decepticons out.

This guy needs to learn to double-knot his laces.

Megatron takes a little vacation in South America.

The gunman who shot Bumblebee was hearing voices from his electronics.

Megatron now comes in grape flavor and the Decepticons have a space bridge.

Megatron has a phone in his hand, and it’s very silly looking. As in, he makes a phone shape with his hand and that just works. I can’t take him seriously. The Megatron guns are actually part of Megatron, and were used to make the gunman shoot Bumblebee. Speaking of Bumblebee, he’s got one doctor keeping him alive at present, and it ain’t Ratchet. It’s some little old man.

Thundercracker comes home to find Starscream has broken in. Starscream has the Decepticon insignia on eight different parts of his body, including the crotchal region.

They show a woman get crushed to death on the news.

Brawn is given a solo mission, finds Starscream, and kicks his ass.

Megatron shows up on Earth. Ultra Magnus transforms to confront him, but he was carrying Bumblebee in his alt-mode and I’m not sure where he went when that happened. Megatron and Magnus have a little banter, then Megatron is shot, where it’s revealed that he’s actually running around in leather chaps and hot pants.

What a fashion icon.

Optimus and his team emerge from the depths of the ocean, having had their plane crash about three issues back. Everyone looks very put-out by the situation.

Brawn helps Thundercracker get to the doctor’s office.

Optimus Prime and Megatron finally have their little reunion. Turns out Megatron dumped all the Autobots with Ultra Magnus inside the city limits, where a bunch of hooligans with Megatron guns live. No word as to where Bumblebee went when Magnus transformed, but he’s here now. Jazz takes Spike and his coworker to save the day.

Megatron is having a moment.

Optimus fucking shoots Soundwave in the face, thus making himself just as bad as Megatron…? Not really how war works, but okay! Crisis averted.

Just kidding, because Jazz shoots a cop so hard he vaporizes. Good work, buddy.

Optimus goes on a solo mission to go kick Megatron’s ass, and jumps out of a plane, punching through the Decepticon’s ceiling. Megatron invites everyone to come out and watch him and Optimus beat the shit out of each other. Cosmos and Jetfire throw a satellite at Megatron from orbit.

An excellent question.

Megatron brings Optimus over to Omega Supreme’s digs and surrenders himself, then is promptly placed in the full-body harness. It’s… it’s something. Megatron reveals that it was Spike who murdered Scrapper the Constructicon like fourteen issues ago. Optimus is all “no waaaay, he’d never do that, I’d trust Spike with my life and also my wallet.”

Optimus immediately puts Prowl on the case though.

Rodimus falls down onto a planet, the Matrix having superglued itself to his chest to keep him from bleeding out. He looked pretty dead the last time we saw him, but he’s doing loads better now. He’s captured and made to be the power source of a large ship, so those who inhabit said ship can get off of the doomed planet they’ve been trapped on for ages. Rodimus ain’t cool with that, so he blows up his restraints with his flame-out ability and runs off. He hides in a cave, only to be attacked by a massive monster. Don’t worry though, because he’s saved by the mysterious Jangle Man.

The Jangle Man is Wheelie, who’s gone full Castaway.

Rodimus gets patched up and then watches Wheelie get high off music.

One of the lackys that brought Rodimus aboard the first ship shows up and attacks, only to be subdued and immediately spills all the beans he has. Rodimus channels his inner anime character.

Rodimus cooks up a plan to get everyone home, and it involves trickery, lies, and the power of music to tame the savage beast. He straps his chest into the power cables and, with only an addled Wheelie to watch over him, does the thing.

Rodimus wakes up to the Matrix having been removed from his chest. Problem: Wheelie piloted them to Cybertron, which is currently a gigantic, uninhabitable mess at the moment. Rodimus tries to get them pointed in the direction of Earth, but that doesn’t work out so hot.

Someone breaks into the ship. It’s Ironhide and Sunstreaker. Rodimus declares himself dead. He’s not, but he might end up that way if he lets the scout that just saw them loitering around outside the ship get back to his boss.

Galvatron comes into the picture, and Rodimus books it. They use their rations- because energon is blood, food, fuel, get well soon card, birthday present, and everything else for the Cybertronians- to power the ship and head back to Earth.

Speaking of Earth, Bumblebee’s not dead. He’s got a cane now. Rodimus shows up, gets some weird Bible-like captioning, and Bumblebee about has a conniption over the Matrix. Rodimus is all ‘whatever, little yellow dude’, and so is everyone else, as Rodders goes up to Optimus, hands him the Matrix, and then is officially named Rodimus by the space pope.

Optimus decides he needs to go to Cybertron to kick Galvatron’s ass, and invites anyone who wants to come with.

Bumblebee’s mad that no one’s listening to him anymore, not that they were really doing that anyway.

Optimus and his team fuck off into space, beginning their journey back to Cybertron.

Prowl gets a few minutes alone with Megatron prior to that, though. He’s well on his way to cracking the case of Scrapper’s murder.

Thundercracker fucks off into the sky, surely heading back to his bachelor pad to catch up on his stories.

And THAT, dear children, is the entirety of The Transformers, up to issue #22. We’re all caught up and ready for what’s to come. 

#transformers #the transformers 2009 #recap #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

@thecorteztwins 

I wound up writing a little thing based on those panels you showed me of villains “rehabilitating” (but actually being mind-controlled) at Clear Mountain Center in X-Men 92.  This was meant to be a funny story about Fabian in rehab learning how to talk to women, but it got a little disturbing because of the mind-control aspect, and also Avalanche tells a grim little story about baby murder, so warnings for that.  But now I’m really tempted to write something about Haven taking the place over and actually Doing It Right.

“So,” Fabian began, speaking in the halting tones of someone attempting to wrap his mind around a difficult concept. “You’re saying you’re not attracted to me?”

               “Not in the slightest,” said Tabitha Smith, the mutant known as Boomer (and also Time Bomb, Boom-boom, Meltdown, and whatever other code-name caught her fancy).  Her tone was firm, but she smiled at him, as if to soften the blow.  “I mean, you’re obviously good-looking, just not my type.”

               “Oh, of course, you prefer women.  I understand.  I am open-minded about such things –“

               “Nooooo…..” Boomer cut in, with some slight irritation creeping into her voice.  “I’m mostly into guys.  Just different types of guys.”  Fabian thought hard.  He was tempted to spread his legs out wider, to give her a better look at what she was rejecting, but he’d gotten enough tiny power-bombs to the crotch to learn that that was a bad idea.  (The low-powered bombs did no real damage, but they certainly stung.)

               “I get it, I get it.  You are holding yourself back.  You are maintaining a professional relationship because you are my counselor.”

               “No!”  Boomer held her head in her hands for a moment, sighing.  “Look, not every woman will find you attractive, okay?  Everyone has different preferences.  Like, people think Leonard Decaprio is super-hot, and he just doesn’t do anything for me, I’m more of a Brad Pitt girl.  It’s not something you need to feel bad about, it doesn’t mean you’re like, ugly, or anything like that.”

               Fabian’s mind whirled.  This girl was young, beautiful, a powerful mutant, and had showed him such kindness as his mentor.  She had a surprising amount of wisdom underneath her shallow and flippant demeanor.  And yet, her judgement was so unsound. Perhaps she had some kind of psychological condition, like a strange form of face-blindness?  But then, Fabian had been learning to accept many ideas that had previously seemed impossible.  The idea of living with the humans in peace.  The idea of answering hatred with understanding, not violence. The idea that he should treat others with kindness and respect, instead using them as stepping stones in his quest for status and power.

               “Very well,” Fabian began again.  It was difficult to force the words out.  “I…accept that you do not find me attractive.  I….accept that some people…..may….not find me attractive.   After all, there are many different preferences in this world.”

               “Yeah, dude, exactly.  It’s like…some people like Cool Ranch Doritos?  And some people prefer Nacho Cheese.  There’s no right or wrong, except for the people who like Funyuns, because that shit is nasty.”  Fabian wanted to roll at his eyes at her rather low class tastes, but instead he found himself laughing good-naturedly.

               “Ha, ha, yes, that is a funny joke,” he said, beaming.  It was strange.  His mind felt so….slow.  Like there was this weight pressing down in it.  But at the same time, it was oddly pleasant.  A bit like Anne Marie’s more enthusiastic hugs, which always threatened to break the recipient’s back.

               “In Spain we have jamon flavored potato chips.  Perhaps you would find them interesting to try.  I will bring some back the next time I visit home.” He did not add that he had never eaten those chips, they were junk food for peasants, but if this girl found them enjoyable, he would indulge her.  It was a nice thing to do, and he found that he wanted to be nice lately. He didn’t entirely understand why.

               “Oh dude, that would be amazing!”  Boomer exclaimed.  “I love trying junk food from other countries.  There’s so much cool stuff out there.  Did you know that they have, like, a whole ton of Kit-Kat flavors in Japan?”

                I don’t care, Fabian wanted to say.  I spent my time in Japan eating Kobe beef and blue-fin tuna, not wasting my money on cheap candy.

               “No, I didn’t know that,” he said aloud instead.  He hadn’t meant to say that.  He hadn’t intended to sound so interested, but his mouth and brain did not seem properly connected.  The pleasant feeling hung over him, almost suffocating.

               “OMG, there are like, so many!  There’s strawberry, and sweet potato, and soy sauce, and wasabi – which is like, better than you’d expect – and sake, and…”

               Fabian wanted to tell her to stop prattling, but he couldn’t quite find the words.  He looked around the outdoor area while she rambled on.  There was Blob pruning rhododendron bushes with Storm, the blossoms tiny in his huge, clumsy hands.    

               “….and blueberry cheesecake, and apple pie, and brown sugar syrup, and cantaloupe which sounds totally disgusting but apparently it’s pretty good, and…”

               The Kleinstock brothers and Frenzy were tossing a Frisbee around with Feral and Cannonball, while Vertigo and Arclight were playing scrabble with Polaris and Multiple Man.  Ruckus was strumming a guitar, pausing occasionally to sweep his hair back dramatically, and clearly looking around for an audience.  Ugh, he was singing “One Tin Soldier.”  Fabian hated that song.  Fabian hated……a lot of things that were happening at that moment.

               “….and maple, and pumpkin, and chestnut, and green tea, and Tokyo Banana, because apparently that’s a thing, and..”

               He hated listening to this stupid girl spew out every thought in her empty brain.  He hated sitting in group therapy and listening to the peons that he shared the facility with whining about their inconsequential problems.  He hated having to hug people.  He hated being stuck in this adult daycare while he should be leading his Acolytes to victory against humankind (and racking up a few kill points for the Upstarts while he was at it.)  Something in his mind was breaking free.

               “Enough!” he snapped, jumping to his feet.  “This isn’t right!  I shouldn’t be here!”  Boomer paused in her Kit-Kat flavor recital.

               “Whoa, dude.  Chill out. You need a time-out, or something? Maybe you need some time in the Angry Room.”

“No, I do not need some time in the Angry Room,” Fabian snarled.  “I don’t belong here with the  rest of these losers, there’s nothing wrong with me.  I’m….I’m so much better than the rest of you.  I’m practically a god!  I should be….should be –“  His eyebrow twitched.  His body shuddered, and a fixed grin came over his face.

               “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying things like that. What am I thinking?  We’re all special in our own way.  I just want us all to be friends,” Fabian continued.  A single tear leaked out of one corner of his eye.

               “Hey, good job, man,” said Boomer, patting him on the shoulder. “You recognized a negative thought pattern, and then, like, stopped it.  That totally deserves a Hershey Kiss.”  She tossed him the silver wrapped chocolate.

               “Thank you.”  Fabian shuddered again, and then his body seemed to relax, his tense smile softening into one that seemed genuine, if a bit dazed.  “I like Hershey Kisses.”

               “Don’t we all, buddy.”

               “They are good,” Fabian continued, pulling the foil off and popping the chocolate in his mouth absent-mindedly.  “This place is a good place.  We are all good here.”

               At the table, another group was mid-way through a fairly intense game of Uno.  Most of the group (X-Men included), would have preferred poker, but apparently that wasn’t wholesome enough the rehabilitation process.

               “I’m just saying, we didn’t start the war.”  Avalanche slapped down a card, perhaps slightly too hard. “Humans want to stomp out anyone who’s different.  That’s the whole damn history of the human race.”

               “But nothing will change if we continue the cycle of violence,” argued Colossus.  

               “We must ‘turn the other cheek,’” agreed Nightcrawler. “Send out a message of peace and love.” He betrayed that sentiment by tossing down a Draw Four card.

               “Yeah, and the guy that did that got nailed to a cross, didn’t he?”  Avalanche retorted.  “Didn’t work out so well for him.”

               “You can’t be expecting us to imitate Christ, can ya?” Pyro put in, throwing a Reverse on the stack.  “He was all flawless and perfect and ‘ineffable,’ right?  And he had a get-out-of-death-free card.  We ain’t got that.”  

               “You could have that, by the Grace of God –“ Nightcrawler began, than stopped, shaking his head.  “I’m sorry, this is not the right place for that conversation.  I know religion is very personal, and everyone must make their own choices.  But I will talk about it with any of you privately, if you want.”

               “All I’m saying is, humans have tried to bloody kill us,” Pyro continued.  “Are we supposed to just lie down and take it?  I’ve had people turn on me, even back before the Brotherhood, before I committed any crimes.  People that I thought I could trust.”  The cards in his hand crumpled as his fist clenched.

               “Humans are fucking brutal.  I’ve seen…..”  Avalanche shook his head.  “There was a woman back on Kalymnos, gave birth to a baby with gills.  Nothing wrong with the kid otherwise, it was just a cute baby.  But people acted like it was the damn anti-Christ.  Her husband moved out and wouldn’t have anything to do with her. And one day….”  A slight tremor rippled across the table as he continued. “One day some guy just snatched the baby out of her arms and threw it down on the rocks.  I’ll never forget how she screamed.  And nothing ever happened to the guy.  He was a murderer, and the police did nothing.  Everyone just pretended that it never happened –“  The table shook visibly now, the vibrations spreading out into the ground around them.

               “Tovarish, please calm down.  I understand how that memory must pain you, but –“    

               The vibrations suddenly stopped.  For a moment, Avalanche looked confused, then a dull smile spread across his face.

               “I’m sorry, friends.  I just get upset sometimes, thinking about that.  I shouldn’t dwell on such horrible memories.”

               “Yes, we should just think about good things,” Pyro agreed, wearing the same sickly smile.  “We are in a good place.  We are all good here.”

               Sitting in the sun on the roof, Toad wrapped his arms around himself, smiling.  He felt….good.  For the first time that he could remember, he was entirely at peace with himself.  He wasn’t plagued with anxiety at every social interaction, waiting for the inevitable rejection, wasn’t miserable when he looked into the mirror.  No more flashbacks or sudden fits of sadness or anger.  He woke up and was actually eager to get out of bed in the morning, eager for a day that he knew would bring good things.  And people were actually being nice to him!  There was no superficial politeness or poorly hidden disgust, no cheap pity.  Just genuine kindness.  His counselors and the other former super-villains actually seemed glad to see him every day.

               Of course, sometimes it felt too good to be true. Sometimes he would look around and everything would feel slightly off, like one of those hyper-realistic dreams where you can only tell that you’re dreaming because something in your room is out of place.  He felt like he was constantly wrapped in a blanket of warm air, and it was so good and comforting, but it made him dull and sleepy.  (Perhaps this was what being drunk was supposed to be like?  For the normal people?  When Toad tried alcohol, it only seemed to make him sad.)  Things were very hazy, and it was hard to put his thoughts together.  But that didn’t matter, did it?  Because finally he was safe and happy, and everyone was so nice.

               “This is a good place,” he said aloud to no one in particular. “We are all good here.”

#fabian cortez #dominic petros #avalanche #pyro #st. john allerdyce #toad #mortimer toynbee

[thegeminisage]

i’m gonna liveblog my rewatch of 2.08 because i can

it’s stupid long so here’s the cut

just to give you an idea of how fast this switch flipped for me at the start of this episode when uther is like “u will find no one who embodies nobleness better than my son arthur” i went “PFFFFFT” & had a good chortle

i have a lot to say about this duel challenge sequence. 1. why are strangers always coming in and tossing their glove on the floor. everyone in that room is armed. just take them out! 2. arthur picks up the glove first this time, unlike 1.03. guess he can learn after all 3. he does it BEFORE SEEING HER FACE god classic he’s so fucking stupid

everyone getting their panties in a twist over having to fight a WOMAN when in reality she goes on to kick his ass is like...both tiresome & hilarious

i used to really be on the fence about the Vibe between merlin & arthur because while they seemed quite happy to die for one another from the get-go most of the time arthur is just being MEAN and merlin isn’t as mean back and it’s like :/ ok i don’t get what everyone else is so heart-eyes over. but in 2.08 they do a lot of confiding in one another and just general talking about plot-stuff where arthur’s insults are...not absent, but kept to a minimum, and idk it’s nice! it’s nice. less like arthur is a massive bully and more like they’re Companions. i’m not hopeful about it lasting bc this show doesn’t know the meaning of the words “consist continuity” but it was reeeeeaally good here

arthur’s face when he lost to a G I R L and uther just walked out with no comment. even back when i still hated him i was like “ouch”

that being said it was a welcome change of pace to see merlin giving ARTHUR shit for once. finally

upon morgause and morgana’s first meeting when morgause says “i hope you will remember me fondly” i went “WOW THAT’S GAY” because i didn’t KNOW and cathy told me later she had to put her head in her hands for five whole minutes. don’t shoot me i’m just the messenger they’re the ones who wrote it that way

my favorite thing about morgause is that i couldn’t immediately figure her out. i’m in the habit of throwing out guesses about future plot points for fun, because i’m a writer and that’s how i deconstruct things, and since this show was kind of meant to be kid-friendly i’m usually right. but as far as morgause went...i didn’t have a clue. i had NO IDEA this whole ep would be like this

i’ve said this before (not on this blog tho) but arthur is like...really eager to die. i keep joking that he has a death wish but upon further reflection i don’t think he’s actively seeking to end his life as much as he would be relieved to die for something noble like honor or whatever because then he would have...done it right, if that makes any sense, and wouldn’t have to worry about screwing it up anymore. he doesn’t want to die but he craves a good death. to prove to his dad and himself that he’s made of the right stuff?? i’m not being very clear. this concept requires more thought

it’s REALLY a lot for me that uther would rather throw arthur in his own chambers than have him find out about ygraine. yyyyikes

merlin sneaking in that rope was so cute. he finally got the group’s communal braincell for a few minutes

on the other hand after the troll episodes i am SO tired of dung being played for laughs. i really suffered

also man i’m so glad morgana finally got some sleep it’s what she deserves

this Dead Parent talk really mcmurdered me. both merlin and arthur lost a parent when they were very young & they now cannot remember said parent and we HAVE THAT IN COMMON so every single word they said was like an arrow straight to my heart!!!!!!! like as good as the ending to this episode was (and OH it was good OHHHHH it was GOOD) i think this right here is what truly softened me up towards arthur. this is relatability, this is emotional vulnerability, this is a genuine human connection made between EQUALS and frankly it’s exactly what i’ve been wanting from these guys for a season and a half. their willingness to die for each other is good stuff to be sure but it’s EMPTY without some meat to back it up & we’re finally getting what we deserve

“i’d do anything for even the vaguest memory” like they didn’t have to go that hard & read me for filth like that but they did. they did. arthur. babe. my guy.

almost every time someone comes in to speak with uther he’s eating and he has like an entire mini-banquet in front of him even though he’s all by himself. like, an entire plate of grapes, a whole-ass chicken, an intact loaf of bread, a bowl FILLED with whole uncut apples...wtf??

“what would YOU know about magic, merlin?” “nothing ;)” i did have a good chortle truly

i’ve already made my points about arthur and a good death but MAN he was hasty to put his head on that chopping block for no good fucking reason at all. holy shit. him casually doing that swing-thing he does with his sword to the axe ahead of time really adds a lot to this entire thing and also aged me ten years

when arthur was like “what if my father’s attitude towards magic is wrong” and “surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil” i gasped so fucking loud. so fucking loud

and the worst part is you can practically feel merlin’s heartbeat pick up. just LOOK at his “wtf am i hearing is this for real could my dreams actually come true” face. but at the same time, he’s got to be the one with a healthy suspicion here because arthur is in over his head. so he STILL can’t trust it. and then naturally it goes to hell so quickly that the chance for merlin to confide in arthur is lost. i can’t believe this took 4 irl years and five seasons. watching this live must have been like TORTURE. i’m practically bingeing it and i’m still suffering deeply

it’s very odd to me that arthur specifically said his mother died before he opened his eyes but the first thing ygraine says to him is that she remembers him staring up at her. to me that’s an obvious clue that she’s a fake, and the cutaway during that line to merlin’s face tells me he had the same suspicion (and that he’s kind of horrified by it)

ARTHUR FEELS SO GUILTY FOR HER DYING AND I’M ALSO DYING AND SLDFKMGHLSKDFJH

i know for a fact that ygraine’s telling of these events is slightly altered from the truth too...there’s no way that uther would have been so overcome with grief that he went on to commit genocide if he knew beforehand that his wife would die and was willing to sacrifice her

on the other hand, there’s also a cutaway to morgause’s face during this speech in which she looks surprised or confused at what ygraine says, which doesn’t add up if she was pulling these strings, so...What Is The Truth

not to be like this but merlin bearing witness to this whole series of events is like...there’s some things that once you go through them with somebody things between you change and there’s a new intimacy there...i don’t expect much from a show that likes to return to the status quo but in my heart it’s how i feel

OH BOY HERE WE GO. arthur arrives in camelot and pulls his sword out as soon as he leaves his horse leaving a visibly spooked merlin behind him this is the STUFF

“arthur was born of magic” is really a hell of a line because even though i already knew this backstory i hadn’t stopped to consider it like that...no, magic is not a crucial part of arthur’s identity and how he views himself the way it is for merlin and morgana, but it’s still a part of his history and what made him who he is, that made him alive and different from other people. his hatred and fear of it becomes so much more tragic in that light. i think also there was such a clear line drown before between people who are magic and people who are not and for me, mentally, arthur kind of...swapped sides, or is at least straddling the border

merlin’s absolute FURY at uther’s hypocrisy is like...........fucking. another thing i wanted to see for a season and a half. imo there’s not nearly enough meat to the fact that merlin is magic and ultimately serves uther who is trying to decimate him and his kind - has actually SAVED UTHER'S LIFE on MULTIPLE occasions. this is the first time this show actually went “hey uther is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and that’s really not at all ok” and i am SO into it. like, no, he’s not misguided. he’s not “just grieving.” he’s a murderer. he’s responsible for genocide.

the final 9 minutes of this episode feature arthur pendragon being absolutely FURIOUS. he’s LIVID. he’s PISSED. and i love it more than anything else this show has done so far

i genuinely, truly believed he didn’t have this in him. never in my WILDEST DREAMS could i have imagined arthur doing this. i had written it off as the stuff of fanfics. but holy shit my man snapped

HE👏DID👏THAT👏

reasons i did not see this coming at all even a little: 1. i figured there was no way arthur would get over his anti-magic thing until near the end (i know it must come back later, but STILL) 2. i did not believe for one second he could ever seriously stand up to his father for more than a few minutes at a time 3. most of what’s making arthur so goddamn pissed is that he thinks his dad killed his mom on purpose but he’s also showing a fair amount of horror at the fact that uther hunted down and killed everyone even remotely associated with sorcery like animals. do you know what that is? does anybody else understand the enormity of this? HE IS SHOWING EMPATHY. i DID NOT believe he was capable of it.

i do feel a way about how uther started this scene from a place of cool confidence - he was handing out orders, “leave us and no one comes in,” manipulating the situation, “she was lying to you, magic users are trying to destroy us,” and finally trying to close the door on the topic and reassert control, “i am your kind and your father and you will SHOW ME SOME RESPECT” - and arthur was not only having none of it (the way his eyes narrowed as uther’s casual “she was lying”...oh boy) he TURNED THE TABLES and had uther ON THE DEFENSIVE. the number of times we’ve seen uther shut other people down and get his way because he’s king and everyone is afraid of him and this time uther was the one who afraid LITERALLY for his life. HOW’S THAT TASTE BITCH god it was SO satisfying. like, there’s one shot where arthur is walking slowly towards him after all his verbal tactics have failed to de-escalate the situation and he’s in the backround with his eyes so fucking wide and he looks TERRIFIED. i LOVE IT

“you are my son. you would not strike an unarmed man.” “i no longer consider myself your son” AND HE STRIKES HIM

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

when i say that i LITERALLY screamed i am not at all exaggerating or using hyperbole. cathy asked twice if i needed to pause & collect myself. i could not have paused if my life depended on it

i’m really on the fence about merlin stopping arthur. on the one hand, arthur has suffered enough and doesn’t need to suffer more by having to carry the guilt or dadmurder. under the other, uther is a monster and needs to die, and the entire world would be better off without him

like...arthur’s face when he says “you have caused so much suffering and pain”...he really finally got it. for one beautiful brilliant moment he understood

i am NOT on the fence about merlin lying to arthur. that was the wrong way to do it. arthur 6000% deserves to know the truth and that’s only gonna come back and bite them later i’m sure (unless it never comes back at all in which case i’ll be pissed)

i’m not sure that arthur would have backed off if they had told the truth and said “uther didn’t realize your mom was gonna die so really that part wasn’t his fault”...he was really mad! but he might’ve. lying was not the way to go. i’m so angry at literally everyone in that scene for allowing arthur to walk away believing he was wrong. he was so full of conviction and he was about to do a really good thing - not good for him personally, but good for the world - and everyone he trusts lied to his face in order to maintain the status quo and not have to deal with anything ugly. i HATE it. i’m team arthur now. i’m in the arthur defense squad. all those dumb liars aren’t good enough to be his friends!!!!!!

like, even his dad’s words were sooo carefully chosen to avoid lying but also avoid telling the whole truth. even in that moment when arthur was laying it all bare and they could have made some sort of progress as character and as people. we had to go BACK TO THE STATUS QUO

Once Again Arthurs Heart Is Hardened To Magic i hate it thanks

honestly look uther telling arthur that he’s a trusted ally in the fight against magic should make him feel a lot more distressed than what we got. i mean i’m sure he’s glad his cover is safe but he should realize that if uther approves he’s doing something wrong

furthermore, uther hasn’t changed a bit. he says he came to thank merlin and that merlin is a loyal servant and trusted ally, but then threatens his life before he leaves. honestly we should have just let arthur stab him

i do appreciate them making a point of mentioning that merlin was tempted to let uther die and that it would have been better for him if uther HAD died and he only did what he did to protect arthur but like...there were ways to do that that didn’t involve lying i think. this is an optimistic show most of the time. it wouldn’t have messed with my suspension of disbelief if arthur had dropped the sword knowing the real whole truth! but no, The Status Quo

i don’t know if i will still love arthur so much in the coming episodes.................we’ll see. i’m kind of nervous because i don’t know how they’re ever going to top this. i think we peaked right here and it’ll never be this good for me again

#personal #merlin blogging #this is.............literally so long sorry #no one is obligated to read it. #i doubt anyone would get to the end anyway #but i just needed to talk about all 1000000 of my feelings #tldr is im v proud of arthur and very mad at everyone else #which makes ME an annoying arthur stan now. oops! #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #not really but this post deserves a spot in the hall of fame #liz makes stuff

[diss0nant-a]

WHO: Amelie Holt and The Twelve* WHAT: Music Therapy: Session Four WHERE: Unknown Location - One of The Twelve’s HQs WHEN: December 18th, 2017

CW / TWs: hypnosis?, blood, death, murder, manipulation, etc NOTES: okay, so after talking about it in this post, i can’t stop imagining this song being one the twelve used on amelie (like this post but a lot less subtle) so here’s this self para of what keeps playing in my head when this song comes on shuffle :)

* amelie doesn’t know the name ‘the twelve’ yet, so i’m going to refrain from using it.

During her eleven months with the organisation; Amelie had learnt many things. Some things she already knew, others not so much. It was the kind of stuff her father would hide from her, the dirtier side to his job. Not that guns, knifes and beatings are clean, but when it was only the two of them; the bloodshed was minimal, if not entirely absent. These lessons were as polar opposite as they could get. Each physical and weapons training leaving her needing a three hour shower afterwards.

She was sure the blood wasn’t real. Or at least if it was, it usually wouldn't be from her targets during practice. After all, she would see them again next time. It was always the same people for combat, yet that never stopped the voice in the back of her head from panicking ‘what if?’. Amelie assumed it was that voice that was keeping her “not fit for work” yet.

Having faced the barrel of a gun far too many times during therapy; she had also learnt to never lie to her unknown co-workers. Meaning they knew about her every doubt and worry. Each time she’s felt annoyed, angry, alone or just shit in general; they knew.

They knew everything.

Amelie wasn’t sure what was more terrifying. The fact she had no control over her life anymore. Or the fact the people now in control, knew everything there was to know about the life she’d left behind. Dwelling on it would get her nowhere. That was Maeve’s weakness, not hers. Not anymore.

At least that was the plan.

Different kinds of therapy had been used sporadically in Amelie’s months with them. So many variants that she had simply learnt to accept whatever faced her behind the clinical looking doors. Usually, it was just her therapist, her handler and a couch. Today it was a woman, her handler, a chair and some tech sat atop of it.

“ Please, sit down. Riley will assist you with the sensors. ”     Her handler spoke calmly. Before Amelie could ask further he continued.     “ They are merely for the heart monitors, there is no need to fear. ”

Despite the reassurance, the young blonde didn’t feel any calmer. Picking the gear off the chair before sitting, Riley approached and took it all from her swiftly. The suggestion of assisting was never an actual option. Just a way to compel Amelie to go ahead with the organisations plan.     “ So what is this? I get the headphones. Music therapy, right? But... Why the TV? And this stuff? ”     She held out her arm for Riley to place one of the sensors.

“ I can't answer your questions. All you need to do is sit still. Feel free to close your eyes. ”

She scoffed as the unfamiliar woman brought the headphones over her crown and sat them snug on her ears. Riley then gently placed Amelie’s hands on their respectful arm rests. It was the softest physical interaction she had received since coming to the organisation — aside from drunken one night stands but that never did truly satisfy her want to simply be held — it made her feel safe, just for a moment.

As music slowly began to fade through the speakers of the headphones, the lights dimmed until they were entirely out. Sitting in the dark, she continued to ponder over why she was here. She'd only had a few sessions of music therapy but normally, it was played out loud as they spoke about what was playing and how it made her feel. Not like this.

Time went on and multiple songs came and passed. Amelie had almost settled on this being some sort of way to figure out her music tastes perhaps? But, with what was playing it seemed they already knew that, for the most part. Maybe to make future sessions better? Honestly, she had no clue what any of their plans were. She had given up on actually finding out only a couple of months in. There are only so many times you can knowingly walk yourself into being beat up.

Just as her thoughts began to wander, her ears were filled with sounds best described as sparkles. Auditory sparkles. It was the first song to actually get her attention. After so long of sitting in the dark her eyes fluttered closed, allowing herself to actually enjoy the song. If she had to be there, she may as well let herself have fun if it was possible.

When the lyrics began, she instantly recognised the language. Her fragmented Japanese, finally showing itself to be somewhat handy. Understanding parts of what was being sang, Amelie let herself get lost in the beat, her head bopping to the tempo without her realising. Eyes slipping slightly open every now and then; she caught the lights flicker as the upbeat track began to slow.

Confused since they had been sat in darkness for so long, Amelie’s eyes opened. Hurting from the sudden brightness flooding from the screen in front of her. The television she had forgotten about now playing scenes from movies. Spliced together with her own home videos and news coverage on her father’s gang crimes, including her own.

Movie scenes re-enacting events of her life she had told her therapist. Her dad’s gang, her parent’s absence, her drug and alcohol issues... Her first love. Bittersweet memories mixed with those most foul, her emotions like a yo-yo they were playing with.

I         REMEMBER         YOUR         SCENT     .

Footage of her parent’s interviews with police began playing, translated lyrics placed over them. Amelie’s parents begging for the man, they believe had taken her, to bring her home. The fictional man they believe committed the murder she had done.

BANG !     B-BANG !     BANG !

Heavy beats in the song, amplified by the sound of gun fire. Paired with flashing images of crime scenes. Of the three men that she had killed. The song continued its slowed melody, the television’s Amelie special still playing. The knot in her throat getting larger and tighter around her oesophagus. The tears pooling in her eyes, crashing over the border at footage of her mother crying out for her.     “ Stop!     Please! ”

As Amelie began to cave, the music’s pace picked up once more.     “ Please... ”     She begged. The lights flashing along with the television’s images. It was as if they had gathered as many crime scene photos as possible. Dead body after the next, showing on the screen.

SOMETHING IS OVERFLOWING !     HOW NICE !     HOW NICE !

The mix of horrific visual stimulation and only partial understanding of the language used, was overwhelming her. She attempted moving her head into her chest, but it was no use, the sensors attached to the side of her head stopping her from getting far. Her hands began reaching for the headphones when —

“ Sit still! ”

Having heard nothing but music, her handler’s voice managing to overcome the blasts coming from the headphones shocked her. A jumped causing her to snap back into the position Riley had placed her in at the start. Her head facing straight ahead, forcing her to watch the images.

She never knew so much blood could come from one person. Or the sheer mass of it with more than one. Precisely as her stomach was about to flip, the chaotic beats normalised once again; a sense of familiarity soothed her slightly.

The screen turned black for a moment, only showing the lyrics. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE ? It filled Amelie’s drying eyes with tears once more. She couldn’t do anything with it. It wasn’t her own anymore. WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR A LIVING ? Oh.

Yet another raise in tempo had distracted Amelie from figuring out that this was all about moulding her. To break her down enough so that her captors could reshape her, to make her commit the horrific crimes still painting the screen red with blood.

ENVY , ENVY ,     SEEMS FUN !

At this point, the song felt like it would never end. BY YOUR SIDE , BY YOUR SIDE . So as she felt the wind down of it all, and the woman Riley’s arms wrapping around her; Amelie curled towards herself, as much as the sensors allowed. I WAS WAITING FOR YOU . I LOVED YOU . The screen faded black again, lyrics left to play in the dark. The woman’s arms tightened and remained around Amelie for the rest of the song. 

When it finally finished, no more music played. The lights were flicked on and Riley removed herself, the headphones and sensors. Amelie felt frozen stiff. She was like a statue as the woman worked around her to detach her from the monitors.

With no time to waste, her handler cleared his throat.     “ You can go now. ”     His customary, dismissive tone returning.     “ They need you in weapons. ”

Floating on a cloud, she got off the chair and made it through the doors. Her body felt like it was swimming through the air, like her feet weren’t genuinely touching solid ground. Not entirely sure how she could manage to hold a weapon right now, let alone train, she stopped for a moment. The swimming feeling making it to her head, drenching her in the images she had only just seen.

Unable to shift her body further, an attempt to move her legs caused them to cave. Securing her on the floor. It required all she had for her arms to support her. It was needless to say, she was going to be late to training.

#` a h ◄ back in time #` a h ♜ self para #/ #hypnosis cw #death tw #murder tw #blood cw #manipulation tw

[mermaidsirennikita]

Valentine’s Day Reads

Happy Valentine’s Day!  As I often gripe about badly done romance on this blog, I thought I’d list a few books that actually do it well.  Some are classics; some are decidedly not.  But I love the love stories in all of them.  I tried to cover my bases, and while I won’t say that all of these are all-time favorites for me, they do stick out in my head for their romantic plotlines and the chemistry between the leads.  Hopefully, something here will appeal to you.

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.  Scarlett is a spoiled, vivacious southern belle on the eve of the Civil War.  She wants Ashley, a gentleman whose romanticism and genteel nature embody the antebellum era they’ve grown up; he’s the one man she can’t have, engaged to his sweet, kindhearted cousin Melanie.  As the war begins and becomes increasingly brutal, Scarlett must grow up and become a survivor, pining for Ashley while engaging in a game of wits and and emotion with Rhett, a man whose cynical and opportunist nature makes him a pariah in the south--but perhaps might also make him Scarlett’s true match.  The love/hate narrative is really defined by GWTW, which is less a tragedy than it is a coming of age story.   Scarlett and Rhett’s chemistry and rightness for each other is undeniable, but held back by the fact that she can’t recognize her own true feelings, committed to an idea rather than reality, and he is too protective of his own feelings to admit that he loves her.  GWTW is one of the few “classics” out there that is truly and compulsively readable, and it suggests a lot of Deep Things while at the same time entertaining you with a frustrating, gorgeous romance.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer.  Cinder is a cyborg, shunned by society and neglected by her stepmother and stepsister--despite her status as a gifted mechanic.  When the stepsister she loves grows fatally ill, she catches the blame, putting her in a precarious position.  At the same time, however, she finds herself as the mechanic of none other than Prince Kai, heir to the throne of the Eastern Commonwealth.  As Cinder becomes more entwined in political intrigue through Kai, she must also fight her feelings for him, and her lack of self-worth.  It’s hard to explain this series without spoiling a lot--and while The Lunar Chronicles is one of my favorites series, I’ll admit that Cinder--though the first book--isn’t my favorite (that honor goes to Scarlet, the second book in the series).  But Cinder and Kai have a fantastic, sweet romance that of course draws from Cinderella, as every book in the series draws from a different fairy tale.  Yes, there is a lot of sci-fi going on in The Lunar Chronicles, and various space politics, but ultimately, each novel is a love story, and the couples you meet in one book return in the next.  (Except for Fairest, the excellent villain origin story prequel, which is an obsession story.)  Highly recommend if you’re on the lookout for some fun, romantic YA with a sci-fi spin.

Beauty by Robin McKinley.  The awkward Beauty doesn’t much feel like she deserves her nickname, especially when she pales in comparison to her gorgeous sisters.  But when her father returns from the castle of a mysterious beats, she rises to the occasion, offering to be the beasts’s prisoner in his place--and determined that she can tame it.  Obviously, this is a Beauty and the Beast retelling--but it’s a definitive one.  This a slow-burn romance, and the book is as much about Beauty learning to love herself as the beast.  But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some excellent moments between the two of them.  When you’re looking for something with a bit less heat and a bit more gentle romance, check this out.

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore.  Miel and Sam are childhood friends, having weathered prejudice--Miel is an immigrant, and Sam is a trans man--together, as well as the strange roses that grow out of Miel’s skin and the attention that attracts.  But just after their relationship crosses a line--going from pining to physical--confusing the two of them, the Bonner sisters return to town.  Rumored to be witches, they want Miel’s roses, and will do whatever it takes to get them.  McLemore is really, really good at magical realism.  And there’s a lot of that in this book.  But the central story here is Miel and Sam’s relationship, their pasts, and how they’re struggling to come to terms with who they are.  The story is both romantic and erotic, and perhaps part of why it feels so incredibly real is that parts of it reflect McLemore’s own life.  Whether or not that’s true, however, is irrelevant--it’s impossible to not love her dreamy prose and the intensity of Miel and Sam’s feelings for each other.

Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones.  Liesl is underappreciated and in many ways repressed, taking on a lot of responsibility at the family inn.  Her sister Kathe is the beautiful one, and her brother Josef, a gifted musician, is the talented one--regardless of the fact that Liesl herself is a driven composer.  Ever since they were children, the siblings have been preoccupied with the Goblin King, but though he inspires her music, Liesl has dismissed him as a childhood fancy.  Until, that is, Kathe is taken by goblins--and the Goblin King needs a bride.  To save her sister, Liesl takes her place as the Goblin Queen.  While initially repulsed by the Underground, she becomes enthralled by her new husband’s world, and their shared passion for music.  Wintersong is well-written and thoroughly addictive, laced with a kind of erotic intoxication.  You fall for the Goblin King as Liesl does; you fall for his world as she does.  It’s morally ambiguous and dark and strange, and quite perfect for those who never got over David Bowie in Labyrinth.

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux.  Jilted by her self-obsessed boyfriend and left penniless, Dougless asks for a knight in shining armor and gets one--in the form of Nicholas, a medieval knight sent forward in time.  Dougless is initially disbelieving, but as she and Nicholas learn about his real legacy--which falls short of what he expected--they gradually fall in love.  However, their relationship is cut short by his sudden disappearance, sending Dougless back in time to find him.  This is a classic 80s romance novel, and therefore I had to include it.  It’s silly; it’s problematic; it has quite a few sex scenes, some of which may or may not involve ice cream.  But there’s a kind of purity to its cheese and silliness that is lighthearted and unique to the era.

The Girl in 6E by A.R. Torre.  Deanna Madden wants to kill people.  So, she stays in her apartment all day, making a living as a cam girl.  As a result, she has to have a lot of things delivered to her--prompting the interest of the delivery guy, who just wants to get to know this woman he’s never even seen.  Too bad Deanna wants to murder him.  Basically, this is an erotic novel; there are a lot a lot a lot of explicit sex scenes, and a few different men who may or may not have a romantic interest in Deanna beyond her body (and if the series continues beyond the three books it’s already had, I wouldn’t be shocked if the author expands upon that).  But there’s something sweet about a guy and a girl who really don’t know each other being genuinely intrigued by one another--and the fact that the relationship’s main obstacle is Deanna’s own desire to kill makes it all the more interesting.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorn.  Lucy and Josh are work rivals at their publishing company--though “rivals” may be putting it lightly.  They loathe each other, regularly taunting one another throughout the day while competing.  That competition gets ramped up a notch by a promised promotion that only one of them can get.  But as they each struggle for the job, Lucy and Josh begin to realize that the tension between them may not just be professional.  The Hating Game is a rom com, but like... a sexy one.  There are plenty of UST-filled moments throughout the book.  And the great thing is that Josh isn’t an asshole, like most men in these sorts of books are.  He doesn’t want to ruin Lucy’s life; he actually seems into her, not into dominating her.  If you want something light and lovely and hot, go for The Hating Game.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.  Heathcliff is an orphan, brought to Wuthering Heights by Mr. Earnshaw and raised as a “lesser than” sort of foster child alongside Earnshaw’s children, the abusive Hindley and spirited Cathy.  Equally wild, Heathcliff and Cathy become childhood best friends, and their feelings gradually deepen into intense romantic love as they grow up.  But Heathcliff is socially unsuitable for the upper-class Cathy, and when she agrees to marry her shy neighbor Linton--while vowing to love Heathcliff forever, out of his earshot--he runs away.  When he returns, Heathcliff is wealthy and bent on revenge; but the feelings between himself and Cathy remain, leading two families and multiple generations into ruin.  I feel like a lot of people are immediately put off by WH because it’s not told from Heathcliff and Cathy’s perspectives, exactly.  In fact, the story is told long after their children have grown up, by Nelly, a housekeeper who observed much of the story’s events, to Lockwood, a visitor to Wuthering Heights.  It’s also a really twisted love story--as much of a hate story as anything else.  Heathcliff and Cathy resent and adore each other in equal measure.  They thwart their own happiness over and over, and both are beasts to those that love them.  But this novel is so significant precisely because it shows that two hideous people can love each other--and it conveys a haunting sort of passion that seems almost out of place in a novel of its time.  The strain of morality running through Jane Eyre--tempering its subversive plot--isn’t present in Wuthering Heights.  Even when the cycle of abuse that consumed Heathcliff and Cathy finally is broken, the people that do so are hardly angels.  It’s a sad, angering, obsessive story.  But at its core, this is a book about love--and the things both terrible and great that it drives people to.

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater.  As a little girl, Grace was attacked by wolves--and since then has been somewhat obsessed with the yellow-eyed wolf in the woods behind her house.  Sam is a wolf in the winter and a boy in the summer, his transformation completely involuntary and based on the temperature.  This time, when the weather warms, he finally meets Grace, and they begin a tentative relationship--but if Sam can’t figure out how to stop himself from changing, he runs the risk of becoming a wolf forever, and losing not just Grace but himself.  Maggie Stiefvater has become increasingly famous for her Raven Boys series, and don’t get me wrong, I love that series.  But I love The Wolves of Mercy Falls more, and not just because it was the first book of hers that I ever read.  There’s a lovely approachable, understanding tone to Shiver--her writing is still beautiful and lyrical, but the simplicity of Grace and Sam’s love story set against the backdrop of a complicated, fraught situation is impossible to resist.  As the series continues, another very good, contrasting romance is added in--but I can’t really get over how incredibly soft Sam and Grace are, and how much this series feels like young love to me.

#books #book recs