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lordofdestructionm · 3 months

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Reading Mordecai Heller as a repressed gay man

The tragic attraction

This is a full post based on my response to a great analysis by @sedgewick-gayble

Let me start by saying that if you read Mordecai as being totally asexual/aromantic and any affection he has for other characters to be entirely platonic that is entirely valid and I respect that

However as this response by Tracy makes clear on the topic of fans reading Mordecai as gay there is an intentional ambiguity about it. Being 28 at the time of the main story his "lifestyle is certainly asexual" up to this point, yet "being ace and being gay are not mutually exclusive things" and people sometimes "don't know themselves or understand their own motivations all that well"

This leaves the possibility open that Mordecai is actively repressing his natural desires and feelings

Mordecai's early life didn't exactly provide much time or opportunity for "self discovery", even by the usual standards of the less than tolerant and understanding world of the early 20th century

Being born into an impoverished family and having his father die very early in his life leaving him and his Mother and two younger sisters in dire straits, Mordecai had to get to work and assume adult responsibilities pretty damn early.

As Tracy says "selling newspapers wasn't going to cut it" and so using his natural talent with numbers Mordecai starts bookkeeping for the mob. Is it any wonder someone with that background would develop such a serious and rigidly buttoned up demeanour?

Since being forced to abandon his mother and two sisters at the start of the 1920s and flee New York, being picked up by Atlas's due to his habit of collecting useful strays, Mordecai had very few people he was close to in St Louis. With his generally anti-social personality and not only lack of interest but discomfort with any sort of flirting or romantic entanglements, that would be unlikely to change

Side note: Probaby coincidence but

There are only two people who seem to make it onto that exclusive list of people that "count" for Mordecai, who he cares about and are able to bring things to the surface he would normally keep hidden

Atlas to Mordecai is not just an employer, he is the man who saved his life, the man who moulded a desperate fearful shabby young stray into the sharp professional he is today, who took him under his wing and made him his protege. Filling the empty space his father left in his life. His grief and desperate hunt for those responsible for his death are his big motivation (the strain of which is slowly tearing him apart)

That connection is undertsandable

Much more surprising on the surface is the bond with the partner Atlas teamed him up with soon after his arrival, Viktor Vasko.

The assumption at the start would have been that while their skill sets might compliment each other in the field there would have been no warmth in their dynamic.

Certainly not on Mordecai's part as Viktor appears to be a sum total of many things Mordecai hates. Viktor is unshaven, relatively casual in his attire, speaks a broken English, and hates people chattering or “noise, noise, noise” as he calls it. Clashing hard with his obsession with good grooming, high quality tailoring, correct grammar etc. Indeed Mordecai doesn't hesitate to nag/criticize Viktor for these things

Yet at the same time Mordecai has far better chemistry with Viktor than with anyone else, able to banter and bicker with him in a way you rarely if ever see with others

Its why when he gets tailored clothes for the first time Viktor is the first person he wants to show off too. Its why the one time he is intoxicated Viktor (and his large physique) are his chosen topic of converation. Its why at Christmas/Hanuhhah he gives him the gift of a tie while claiming its just because of the big guys poor fashion sense and that its "embarassing to be seen with him" (even that justification makes him sound like a nagging girlfriend)

A smaller detail is that during their iconic chess playing in the side content, set during their days staking out the remote town of Defiance, Viktor is shown very casually winning the game much to Mordecai's visible distress

This is hilarious but could also be taken as a metaphor for Viktor (possibly without even realizing it) breaking through his defensive emotional barriers

Something Mordecai doesn't know how to handle or respond to

The animated short only adds fuel to the fire

During their dispute over strategy Mordecai moves his face so close to Viktors that he almost knocks his cap off his head. His eyes at one point even dart down towards his mouth

Sharp eyed Vikdecai fans have also noted that Mordecai seems on some level to want the two of them to match

The tie being the same colour could simpy be Mordecai giving Viktor one of his own ties because its a joke gift and he just grabbed it on a whim to tease Viktor about his poor fashion choices

But think about the matching suits at the New Years party for 1926

I mean, seriously, not only is it the exact same style of suit in the same blue-grey colour distinct from everyone else, but they are standing in the perfect spots to be symmetrical to each other. Something that we all know means a lot to this compulsive man

Mordecai must have known there was going to be a big group photo ahead of time and then carefully planned this

Got matching suits made to his and Viktors measurements

Then most impressively convinced/nagged Viktor into cooperating (he may have taken off the tie and rolled up the sleeves but hey him playing along at all is quite a compromise from Viktor "I hate dressing up" Vasko)

Mordecai is intent on making Viktor retire and get out of danger, and avoid a situation where he gets sent to kill him by Marigold because he knows he could NOT do it, and his cover and investigation into Atlas's death would be over

He is horrified that Viktor is still working at Lackadaisy (though he again has to hide how much he cares) and that he has gotten not only hurt again but hurt by Mordecai again (albeit this time indirectly by stealing the guns)

Can this be read as simply platonic comradere? Absolutely

But there is something so *intense* in the fact he was willing to resort to kneecapping him. Its an extreme and desperate act that could only result from intense emotions, seemingly out of character for someone who tries very hard to appear logical and controlled.

While Vikdecai is a very fun ship when imagining them as an actual bickering married couple, I have often said that a tragic one-sided on Mordecai's part version of Vikdecai is the one that fits closest and surprisingly well into the canon.

His nagging and complaining about Viktor in that context take on a Tsundere aspect, both to protect himself from being found out and maybe even try and convince himself the uncomfortable alien feelings aren't there. He not only doesn't want others looking too hard at his feeling he doesn't want to examine them himself all that much

There is a heartbreaking but appealing angst to the idea of this extremely repressed man having such feelings for the first time in his life for his straight best friend and NOT knowing how to handle that. Having to perform the balancing act of being around him so much as his partner but being painfully aware that he can't let anyone catch on, especially not Viktor himself, as it would likely destroy his bond with the only person in town other than Atlas he is close to.

Though tragically he did that anyway later via the kneecapping, which while about trying to keep Viktor safe, he may now looking back try and tell himself its actually somehow "better" for Viktor to hate him for that

Because the big guy now wrongly thinks the feeling is mutual and that Mordecai never really cared about him, which may be better than (what Mordecai assumes would be) disgust at his partners doomed more than platonic feelings

Because he sees those feelings and his situation as a sad perfectly structured joke life has played on him

#lackadaisy #tracy j butler #lackadaisycats #mordecai heller #viktor vasko #vikdecai #repressed #gay #asexual #ace #comic #pilot #cats #gangsters #one sided love #one sided crush #one sided attraction #internalized homophobia

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emeraldspiral · 8 months

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A venn diagram of the queer/neurodiverse content depicted in Invader Zim. I've already talked about the inherent queerness of Zim and mentioned a few times that there’s a big overlap with autism/neurodiversity but I thought this would make a handy reference. Note that “neurodiversity” isn’t just autism/ADD/ADHD but also includes mental illness, personality disorders, mood disorders, learning disabilities, and anything else that isn’t “neurotypical”.

On the queer side there is actual canon queer rep in the show and comics:

Irkens are canonically aroace and intersex.

Groyna from the comics was confirmed by Eric Trueheart to be a lesbian.

Commander Poki from the comics may be trans, as she has eyelashes normally only seen on female Irkens, but lacks the curled antenna every other female Irken is shown to possess.

Recap Kid's gender is deliberately ambiguous.

There are also many instances of queer-coding that can be seen throughout the show such as:

The homoerotic rivalry between Zim and Dib.

Red and Purple basically being Zim's two gay dads.

Zim and several other characters having campy and dramatic mannerisms.

Zim using Keef and Tak as beards.

Zim and GIR wearing make-up/cross-dressing and generally not concerning themselves with or even being aware of gender conformity.

That time Dib's personality was copied into the body of a female ship which became very distressed at being told it wasn't really a boy and changed its physical appearance to match its brain.

Other queer elements featured in the show include:

Female characters who aren't love interests/show no interest in romance.

Most characters showing a general lack of visible interest in the opposite sex or romance.

The Membranes being a non-traditional family (single dad with no mom, later acquiring two more dads in the form of Foodio and Clembrane). Irken society not being structured around family units at all.

Satirical depictions of nuclear family units (Zim’s roboparents).

Transhumanism.

Kink/Fetish content including tentacles, bondage, domination, tongues, sadism, mind-control, body morphing, gore, food/eating, bodily fluids/fluids in general, Giger-esque designs, etc…

On the Neurodiverse side we have:

Zim’s food sensitivity.

Zim’s germophobia.

Zim’s dislike of being touched or hugged.

Zim seeming to suffer from sensory issues in general.

Zim getting overstimulated on the bus in Walk of Doom.

Zim and Dib infodumping.

Zim’s idiosyncratic speech mannerisms.

Characters having high intellect paired with poor social skills/low emotional intelligence.

Hyperfixations and special interests.

Zim’s struggles with multi-tasking and keeping his priorities straight.

GIR being easily distracted and unable to focus on anything that doesn’t immediately interest him.

Characters having poor volume control.

Characters having mood swings or trouble regulating their emotions.

Zim’s issues with memory.

Dib hyperfocusing to the point of neglecting hygiene.

Zim’s “problem with listening”.

And in the middle where they overlap there’s:

Zim and Dib being outcasts, misunderstood by everyone around them, and only able to connect with other misfits like Gaz, GIR, Keef, each other, and random hobos.

Zim masking his otherness and putting on performative displays of “normalcy” and having a well-founded fear of the consequences of being discovered.

Dib being open about his otherness and looking for respect and acceptance in the face of overwhelming ridicule and contempt.

Dib being pressured by his father to conform in order to please him.

Dib finding that the social benefits of conformity aren’t enough to outweigh the pain of not being his authentic self in Mopiness of Doom.

Dib’s experiences and perspectives being trivialized, dismissed and medicalized as indicators of mental illness.

Dib actually being mentally ill, but only as a result of not being accepted or supported for being different.

The eugenicist dystopia of the Irken Empire, where Zim is labeled “defective” and sentenced to death rather than treated for the mental health issues caused by the society that created him.

Daddy issues/familial rejection/non-acceptance.

Zim and Dib’s struggles with depression.

Zim and Dib’s need to prove themselves to gain validation and acceptance.

Zim and Dib being victims of bullying and in turn bullying others to feel a sense of power.

Dib’s self-loathing.

Zim’s default state being paranoia and anxiety.

Zim and Dib’s self-image issues.

And of course the one thing that binds us all: alternative fashion.

#invader zim #zadr #zadf #zim #dib #dib membrane #gaz #gaz membrane #tak #invader tak #professor membrane #keef #almighty tallest

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rmbunnie · 10 days

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Red Hood Characterization

This is really long so I'm putting a cut here, I've been thinking about Jason Todd's character motivations and the question of whether or not his actions are based in a Moral Code (I don't think so, not to say he's without any morality) and I talk about that in more depth here.

I saw someone say on here that Titans: Beast World: Gotham City was some of the best Jason Todd internal writing they'd seen in a while, and I've been a Red Hood fan for 8 years or so now? pretty much since I read comics for the first time, so I went and checked out and I thought it was good! The way the person I saw talking about it as if it was rare and unusual made me wonder though, because as well-written as i thought his stances on crime were, there wasn't really anything in it that went against the way I conceptualize Jason?

This kinda plays into a larger question I've been thinking about for a while with Jason though, which is that, do people think that the killing is part of a fundamental worldview that motivates him a la batman, and that worldview is the reason he does the things he does?? Because 8 years ago i was a middle schooler engaging with fiction on the level that a middle schooler does, so I simply did not put much thought into it beyond "poor guy :(" but ever since I actually started trying to understand consistent characterization, I don't really see Jason as someone who's motivated by a moral code in his actions the way batman or superman is!

tbh my personal read is that he's a very socially-motivated guy, his actions from resurrection to his Joker-Batman ultimatum in utrh always seemed to me like every choice made leading up to his identity reveal was either a. to give him the leverage and skill necessary to pull off his identity reveal successfully, or b. to twist the knife that little bit more when he does let Bruce find out who he is. Like iirc there's a Judd Winick tweet like "yeah tldr he chose Red Hood as his identity because it's the lowest blow he could think of." And I think that's awesome, I think character motivations rooted so deeply in character's relationships and emotions are really fun to read! I also think it's where the stagnation/flatness of his character comes from in certain comics, because if his main motivation is one event in one relationship that passes, and he is not particularly attached to anything in his life or the world by the time that comes to pass, it's a little harder to come up with a direction to go with the character after that, because there isn't much of a direction that aligns with something the character would reasonably want? But I do think solving this by saying "all of the morally-off emotionally driven cruelty he did on his way to spite Batman was actually reflective of his own version of Batman's stance that's exactly the same except he thinks it's GOOD to kill people" isn't ideal. To be fully honest, it seems to me like he never particularly cared one way or the other about killing people to "clean Gotham of crime," he just did everything he could to get the power necessary to pull off his personal plans, and took out any particularly heinous people he encountered along the way (like in Lost Days.) Not to say I think the fact he killed people keeps him up at night anymore than everything else in his life events, I just never really thought he was out there wholeheartedly kneecapping some dude selling weed or random guy robbing a tv store for justice.

Looping wayyy back to my question, Is this (^) contradictory to the way he's written/the overall average perception of the character? Because like I enjoyed his writing in Beast World i have zero significant issue with anything there, I just didn't believe it would be a hot take, like yeah, that is Jason. It's been a while since I've read utrh and lost days, but I don't think my takeaway directly contradicts either of those too bad iirc. Idk all this to say I think Jason killing and being alright with killing is an obvious and objective fact, but i guess i've always seen it as more of a practical tactic than a moral belief, and I think taking the actions made during the lowest points of a character's life where he is obsessively focused on this ONEEEE thing and trying to apply it as a Motivating Stance to everything he's done after that, doesn't really follow logically for me.

#edit: i am so so open to discussion and disagreement on this but please try to have something substantial to say. god bless!#like ofc jason kills but to me it was less “everyone I've ever killed deserves death objectively”#and more “when people are dead they stop doing things like heinous atrocities and trying to kill me"#i don't even think he wanted the joker dead (only) because he thinks he objectively morally deserves death #although the joker is one of the most extreme cases possible and he if does think that he's VERY justified #i really do think it was just about bruce #and wanting bruce to avenge him to show he loved him and he mattered and wanting his dad to give him security #all the killing was about the clown and everything with the clown was about bruce #i've NEVER forgotten the bit in lost days where he has the joker tied up at gunpoint and doesn't kill him #i think if it was only about a moral greater good situation he would have taken him out then and there #if you disagree i'd love to hear why provided you can be civil and not an jerk #also if you disagree PLEASE PLEASE put screenshots and comic issues if possible #i'd love to check them out and form my own stance on them #just know that if you say like. battle for the cowl. or the Tom King batman annual or something i probably won't care too much #comic characterization is ever-changing and inconsistent i truly believe that the best thing to do is just read the important stuff #and try to form your own stances from there #because there's never gonna be 100% of comics involving a character that align with each other perfectly and that's just a given #jason todd #red hood #dc comics

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forgeofthenine · 5 months

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So continuing the theme of Zevlor in the modern world. What if his modern s/o and him get transported to the s/o's world?

Thanks for the great request, Anon, here's another for our modern reader lovers :)

If Zevlor found himself in the modern world with his partner

So, let's say that Zevlors partner in this has been transported originally to Faerun, has successfully romanced Zevlor, and somehow they both find themselves back in his lovers world

While you might be shocked and excited, Zevlor is scared to hell and back by everything

If he so much as hears a car then he's grabbing your arm to try and run

It takes the better part of an hour for you to calm the poor man, his fight or flight instincts fully kicking in

His eyes can't stay still, sweat glistens on his forehead, the way his hands grasp at yours to hold you close is just heartbreaking

Just speak to Zevlor in a soft, calm tone

Take him through some breathing exercises and tell him everything will be alright, let the paladin know you'll take care of him

Eventually you'll both be calm enough for you to explain what's happened, where you are

It's strange after what feels like years in Faerun to suddenly be back in the same world you left

While Zevlor has his initial reservations, he realises you two need to make the most of things until you might be whisked back to Faerun

The biggest issue is that Zevlor is a horned, red skinned tiefling with a very obvious tail

How you manage to hide him, even I don't know

What I do know is that people at conventions like comic con would LOVE him

Maybe you can make him a social media presence and pretend he's just an amazing cosplayer with a very specific set of skills

Despite this, Zevlor really never properly rests until he's back in his home of Faerun

He also never fully learns to trust cars

#bri answers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #zevlor x you

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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month

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Before i forget again,here's the Flowerghost(Jason Todd and Miles Morales)parallels + They are BROTHERS and Jason's a canon pedophile killer so fuck off if you ship him with canon minors

Black and red-coded

Genius'

Nerdy interests(classical literature for Jason,anime for Miles and video games for both)

Caused great controversy for taking over longheld mantles because of being minorities(Jason poor,Miles afrolatino)but are now widely beloved

Mama's boys and the mom's in question have brown hair and a deep grip on their cultures in a positive way when the writers aren't being ass

Can't flirt but have big rizz

Type in women is woc(Gwen is Miles' only white girl one and to me she acts more black mixed than anything else and imma do my own thing like Miles and say she's canon afrolatina + Jason's never shown interest in white girls fullstop and actively rejected Kory specifically because they deblackified her)

Poor social skills

Very similar sense of humor

The guy they're closest to is a black troubled kid who grew up in a dystopia but only let that make him kind and optimistic,an instigator and a freedom fighter on a team that all share a title(Duke and Hobie).Do not come at me with 'Hobie is Miles' older brother' bs though,that's Jason's job and Hobie is Miles' boygirlfriend

And the other person they're closest to is a black biracial girl with a ghost motif and abusive dad who's also a pastel punk,very sweet and tender but also has anger issues and no hesitance to get brutal in fights and is their counterpart yet also their foil(Stephanie and Gwen + Imma also do my own thing with Stephanie because people think she actually takes pride in being blonde for some reason + This is reverse of the above because i'm a Ghostflower lover and a J*ysteph hater out of reading comprehension)

Eh,i'm gonna say it-They're both afro-caribbean and nonblacks and gringos can't stop me since they love lying about Jason's canon traits but get upset when comics readers tell the truth about him and my take actually makes a lot of sense with him unlike theirs and i've got like every fellow afrolatino DC fan agreeing with me on it anyway

Autistic,adhd and anxiety-coded with trans swag that can be read in any direction

When they were 15,they went to a far off place to find themselves thanks to an important woman in their lives only for it to turn out she was betraying him and this caused a major shift in their narrative-Although Miles was lucky enough to have his be with good intentions while Jason's very much did not

Robin!Jason was a soft ray of sunshine boy like Miles is and Miles G is a goth asshole and a vigilante to cope with trauma like Red Hood!Jason is.He even has green eyes like he does which is very interesting and fitting difference

If we're being specific with Eras:Into=80s Batman,Across=A Death in The Family,Miles G becoming The Prowler=Lost Days,Beyond=Under The Red Hood and Spidey and His Amazing Friends=Wayne Family Adventures(but good)

Not quite the same thing but their animal variants are a cat and a dog so they match

This

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sevicia · 3 months

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2022 Batcat has very strong "I can fix him" vibes but I'm gonna be honest here I don't think he deserves her. Not rn at least cause Selina is 100% the most emotionally mature & responsible person in the entire movie with only like. Alfred & Ms. Reál behind her. & Bruce is literally a BRAT, he's insanely sheltered, ignorant and selfish through most of the movie and starts only becoming more aware of, like, everything? towards the end. There is a LOT of work 2 be done there & Selina's already dealing w/ enough shit on her own to be worrying about a grown man in a batsuit.

Also I do think it's interesting how the two main ships 2 come out of this movie (Riddlebat & Batcat) run in completely opposite directions. Selina could "fix" Bruce, but Bruce and Edward could only make each other worse.

Selina might've had her mom til she was 7 (iirc) & her piece of shit dad only dies after she's into her (mid?) 20s, but she DOES have a similar background to Edward's in that they both grew up without a stable, "normal" family, and had a very poor economic situation their whole lives. I do want to know more about her past REAL BAD cause we got the Year One comics for Edward that let us know he'd been bullied his whole life besides also growing up in the orphanage which was just... not ideal to say the least, but we still don't know much (or AS much) about Selina.

From what we see in the movie I think it's pretty obvious that Selina had to "toughen up" from a very young age: she knows how to handle herself, how to protect herself, and tries her best to do the same for those she cares about. The grudge she holds against Falcone is absolutely justified, and so is the fact that she all but jumps onto the one chance she had to kill him.

(Sidenote: I do like how Bruce's reasoning went from "You'll be just like him" (most sheltered statement ever) to "You've paid enough" (makes more sense and ACTUALLY shows some care for her as a person rather than for some broad, flimsy sense of justice.))

But on Edward's side, we have the fact that he never had someone in particular to direct all of his rage and despair to, leading him to hate and berate himself. Once he learned there WAS a reason that caused his life to be so horrible, rather than some divine, nonsensical punishment aimed towards him specifically, his hatred turned outwards into a far more broad direction than Selina's, causing him to all but lose his mind and start planning.

Selina is aware of the corruption in Gotham, but she doesn't have the detailed knowledge that Edward has (due to his job giving him the chance to find out), and still says at one point that she agrees with what Edward is doing (even if nothing is mentioned about the *way* he's doing it), which to me means that she's the kind of person who's just trying to survive and is just not able to fully dedicate herself to making a change and has become disillusioned with the city as a whole, which is evident during the talk she has with Bruce before they go their separate ways.

She HAS things to care about, and this sounds rude because I really don't know how else to put it, but she also has "a life" unlike Edward, who is always alone, chasing a purpose that only destroys him in the end. Him being ND plays a huge part in this; his already lacking social skills are only made worse by his environment, making his chronic loneliness straight up DEADLY.

I feel like I'm talking in circles BUT what I really mean is that I think the difference between Edward and Selina boils down to their ability to form relationships. Edward has been unable to do so his whole life, making him spiral, but Selina IS able to connect with others, and this "saves" her in a way. It gives her concrete goals and, more importantly, reasons to live, while also being the cause of her overall maturity and ability to go through tough times (because they WERE), and still not lose sight of herself.

Bruce and Edward both grew up lonely. Bruce because of his trauma*, and Edward because of his neurodivergency. Selina, on the other hand, shows MUCH better social skills and adjustment than both of them throughout the movie (I do think she had to grow up way too fast to survive, when she shouldn't have had to).

I just realized this post is long as fuuuck and borderline incomprehensible and I don't even know how 2 end it I'm sorry everyone.... I'm just spinning them around inside my head.

Also I just gotta say I think her and Edward could've been really good friends if they met as children, but that's another thing & also just a headcanon. But yeah. Let her catch a break. Basically.

*: I do think there's a strong argument you could make for Bruce being ND as well, but I'm also factoring in his economic status since it would've allowed him to receive help/therapy for improving his social skills while Edward never had that option.

#diary #batman #riddler #selina #<- I don't even know if I have a tag for her I'm sorry my girl....#long post #the batman 2022 #edward nashton #selina kyle #bruce wayne #<- yeah let's put this thing into actual tags. beat me. take my blood.#it kinda feels like I'm connecting dots when there are not but like... listen...#I want it to be that deep....#(walks into the sea)#much to think about

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beannary · 9 months

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Hi! Thank you for blessing us all with tlp :) it’s such a cool au and I like it a lot!! I have many thoughts about it so I’ll start writing them now:

With Donnie being raised by Big Mama, the change in dynamics with literally everyone is interesting to think about, so of course my brain has latched onto the concept of how Donnie’s dynamic with his own brain (his neurodiversity/autism) effects his relationships with himself and his family.

(beannary note: putting everything under the cut so this doesn’t get too long)

Comparing Donnie’s relationship with his own neurodiversity in tlp to canon makes me so emotional you have no idea…..in canon he’s never had a need to mask, living in the sewers with a family who accepts him for who he is, so he has difficulties doing so when needed; we’ve seen him in situations where he is unable to mask/act “socially appropriate” (the mystic library episode comes to mind - he can’t control the volume of his voice when he gets excited. Also every single time he is put in a situation where he has to lie but he is comically bad at it. Also the many many instances in which he is shown being unable to ‘read the room’). But in tlp he seems to be masking a lot, either when he’s interacting with Big Mama’s guests or with Big Mama herself (your Masking is Hard comic comes to mind instantly - how Donnie has a hyperspecific role to play as Big Mama’s Son and the pressure to not only be sociable, but be sociable in a way that meets his mother’s expectations. Its a lot to handle, acting a way that doesn’t come naturally to you and no matter how many times you go through the motions you feel as if it doesn’t get any easier and you dont know why). Tlp Donnie can mask far more convincingly than canon Donnie, but only because he’s had to mask frequently throughout his life. It seems to me like he’s been taught at a young age that he needs to stop acting so “weird” (for example, stimming in obvious ways), because that kind of behavior loses its cuteness fast with Big Mama & most of the company she associates with. I imagine lots of his behaviors are discouraged as he grows up because they’re “not cute anymore” and he’s “not a little kid anymore” and he “needs to learn some manners/self-control” even though everything “weird” Donnie does feels like so natural to him, even as he gets older. Although I do think Donnie has instinctively coped with this by making his stims more subtle (this is where I get to be self-indulgent and imagine his stims - humming, tapping his feet, fiddling with any object he can get his hands on, blasting EDM in his headphones etc), and he only pulls out the big guns (aka big stims) when he’s in his own room with the door closed (or when he’s locked himself in a bathroom stall and physically cannot hold himself back anymore).

Unfortunately for Donnie I also figure that this amount of masking makes him more susceptible to meltdowns. In canon Donnie has so much freedom and control over his own life that the only time I can remember him being even mildly close to Meltdown Territory is during the Todd Scouts episode when his tech was taken away. And even then, he immediately knows how to cope with the change by Creating with whatever tools he is able to find, his brothers just accepting his absence as he goes MIA to build the things he needs to make himself feel better (like the wooden battle shell). But in tlp au does he even know how to cope in healthy ways? Does he get to go MIA for long periods of time so he can pull himself together and prevent a meltdown from happening? Oouuggghh I just want him to be happy :( poor guy feels as if he has no control over his life to the point he develops an eating disorder, he absolutely has no idea what a healthy coping skill is. I’m torn in between concepts for how he processes his neurological differences - either he goes the “autism? don’t be ridiculous, everyone feels this way” route or the “I am astronomically Different from anyone else I know. surely this is just due to my superior intellect and not a developmental disability of any sorts”. Either way this dude is not connecting any dots nor processing any emotions in a healthy way. (Now that I think about it, while Donnie lives with Big Mama, his unique and different skillset are probably what he clings onto to feel needed and useful to his mother, so the latter makes sense for him during that time. But the former makes sense when the concept of Different scares him, when it’s not just intellect and fixations and tunnel vision but sensory issues and social awkwardness and repetitve movements, things that very clearly separate him from his family and make him less of the Perfect Son he is expected to be.)

Another thing I’d like to ramble about is Donnie, his autism, and his relationship with his brothers and his dad….you mentioned in an ask that he doesn’t know he’s autistic but that may change when he starts living with the Hamatos. This made me think about how Donnie’s brothers react to his autistic traits in canon versus in tlp (assuming that no one knows that Donnie is autistic; they just know that his brain works Differently than the rest of theirs). In canon, Donnie has lived with his brothers for his entire life. His brothers know his habits, his preferences, his sensitivities, his moods, etc. He may be Different than the rest of them, but not so much that they think about it for more than 5 minutes. Donnie is their brother - any “weird” behavior is not too different from how how he usually acts. Donnie may be weird but they all are in their own ways and it’s not a big deal to them. His brothers are used to accommodating his needs and dealing with his moods. However, in tlp, Raph, Mikey, and Leo don’t know him very well yet. They’ve never lived with him before and when they do accept Donnie into their home as an Official Brother (a development I’m very excited for), they also can’t help but immediately recognize the stuff that makes him Different from the rest of them (if they’re the ones that recognize that it could be autism, than it’s Differences in a way that’s Familiar, if that makes sense). Differences that aren’t just unhealthy habits and mindsets from his previous shitty living situation. Obviously they can be accommodating but it would understandably take longer to adjust simply because they’re not used to Donnie’s specific quirks. They don’t know right away what makes him uncomfortable, or what textures he prefers, or why he moves and talks and acts the way he does. It’s a learning experience for everyone.

As for Donnie and Splinter….they make me so emotional!!!! Your art of the two of them is so so good and captures that emotion. When Donnie lives with the Hamatos, everything changes. Anyone would have difficulties adjusting to this huge change, but I imagine for Donnie it’s a lot harder. How do you cope with leaving your mother, your only family member you’ve known your entire life? And now suddenly he has to stop being His Mother’s Son and become His Father’s Son, another role he has to create and adjust to (he doesn’t realize yet that his father doesn’t need Donnie to try to be someone he’s not - he loves Donnie unconditionally, just the way he is ;-;) because having a role to play is familiar to him, the only familiar thing he can cling onto during these huge changes in his life. Unfortunately though it just makes everything more exhausting, not only coping with the move into a literal sewer but trying to act like a perfect son for Splinter. Donnie doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t have to mask in front of a parent or meet impossible expectations to “earn” parental love and approval. Meanwhile Splinter sees how Donnie acts with his brothers (much more casual because Donnie doesn’t feel as if he has to “impress” his brothers the way he has to with a parental figure) versus how Donnie acts with him and thinks he’s doing something wrong, that he’s the one giving off an impression to his new son that he has to suppress his stims or say the “right” things or do stuff that makes him uncomfortable because he thinks it’ll make his parent happy…..but I have faith that this pressure eases with time, that they get more comfortable around each other the longer they live together. Eventually Donnie won’t be hesitant or embarrassed to take off the mask in front of his father. Maybe one day he’ll get rid of the mask around his family entirely!! Either way I’m excited to see tlp Donnie’s journey :) thanks for sharing your au with us!

HI THIS IS BEANNARY SPEAKING NOW wow this was so much and im sooooo glad that you are enjoying this au! And for real its so flattering that you like?? wrote all this about my silly au this has actually been the only thing that I could think about since you asked if you could send this in and yeah it’s just really nice to see that people like my comic and this little separated au that i dreamed up

One of the big differences between canon donnie and tlp donnie is tlp donnie’s ability to mask really well. When he was a kid, a lot of his stims were cute and adorable so Big Mama didn’t like encourage them? but let him you know stim freely since she thought it was cute, but as he got older and he kept on stimming in obvious ways she started really hounding him to stop. I do really like the idea of donnie starting to stim in more subtle ways, and im definitely going to try to incorporate that in some of the comics! He still needs to stim, because you know of the autism, and so he does tap his feet and play with whatever little object he can get in his hands when he’s in public. His room is his one safe space where he can really be himself, since its the one spot where he’s not being watched by anyone (his safe space isn’t his lab because what he does in his lab is highly controlled by Big Mama so while he does like being in there and getting to do his science, he’s still pretty on edge since he never knows if his mom is watching him or not). Donnie really loves spending time in his room, though he doesn’t really get a whole lot of time there by himself since Big Mama has filled his schedule with as many extra curriculars as possible so she can show him off all the time). But speaking of his room it sure would be bad if something happened to it! Sure would be bad if it was destroyed in some way thereby destroying his one safe space! Haha! ;)

And no! Donnie does not know how to cope in healthy ways! He is very good at figuring out when he is about to have a meltdown and at figuring out a way to subtly get out of a situation so he can go recuperate somewhere in private, but even then, he can never spend a whole lot of time to himself because if he ever disappeared for an abnormally long amount of time, it would draw attention to himself and more specifically to these meltdowns that he’s having and he really wants those to stay off of Big Mama’s radar since if she knows about them then that’s one more thing for her to criticize and then it’ll be even harder for him to deal with them with his mom now being aware of them. And yeah he does know about autism but he’s still like no it simply could not be me but in that way where he’s like 99% sure he’s autistic but is just refusing to acknowledge it so he can keep on pretending to be ‘normal’. if that makes sense alksdjfh

Living with the Hamatos is going to be very hectic and scary for Donnie just because of how different their home is from his current home. In tlp, Raph also is autistic im pretty sure idk I might change that as the comic progresses but at this point that is what im going with but just havent had a whole lot of time to develop, but that’s part of the reason why the hamatos are so accepting of Donnie, its because they’re already used to living with a sibling who is autistic so all of this is second nature to them, it’s just normal and that really throws donnie for a loop because he’s so used to walking on all these eggshells making sure to act as allistic as possible 24/7 only to be suddenly dumped into an environment where its completely normal and accepted for him to just be himself. And sure it’ll be a learning curve for the hamatos because like obviously not all autistic people are the same but it’ll also be a learning curve for donnie since he’ll finally be able to relax and figure out who he is without having to hide himself all the time.

Donnie and splinter’s relationship is what im really the most excited to write about. I really want Donnie’s experience leaving Big Mama to mirror Splinter’s experience. And I really don’t want to spoil too much but Donnie is really not gonna like Splinter much at first, and it’s gonna take a while for Donnie to warm up to his dad, but also Splinter is going to be the most understanding of what Donnie is going through because well, Splinter also left an abusive relationship with Big Mama. I dont really want to say much more about their relationship because I dont want to spoil the good angst I have planned but I’m really excited to explore their relationship more!!!!

Also just for the record I have not like proofread any of this so there may be typos or maybe i said something dumb so just lmk and ill fix it aklsdjhf Im not autistic (or am I! I havent been to therapy in a while and I would not be surprised to find out that I am autistic or that I have adhd or something else) so lmk if i said something stupid or phrased something in a dumb way and I cannot emphasize how fast I will fix it

Ok bye now!!! this was fun!!! and thank you for sending this in!!! Idk it just really warms my heart that someone out there is thinking about this silly au this much, makes it feel like all the work ive put into making this comic is worth it :)

#bean babbles #i guess this isnt an answered ask #answered asks #still gonna tag it as such though #tlp au #the little prince separated au #i might have more to say about this later but i think this is everything i have to say rn #i should really just ramble about tlp donnie more often because this was fun.

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oh-lordy-lord-save-me · 4 months

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Hello, I just wanted to let you know that I am really fascinated by your version of Usagi and wanted to know more about him. What are the similarities and differences between your version and the comic version of Usagi? And well the other characters of Usagi Yojimbo appear as well, like Kitsune, Gen, and Tomoe, and if so how are they like in your version?

hi!!! thank you for taking interest in my iteration, its means a lot. in my au usagi is a teen(around 16-17) who traveled from japan to new york because he “wanted to travel more.” in reality he is trying to avoid another encounter with jei, as the last one kinda scarred him a bit. the thought of jei being in any town he’s visiting took away the possibility of a peaceful night for him.

gonna cut it off here since i just noticed how long this is haha

ayway, he definitely still sticks his nose into other people’s business and gets involved into things that were 100% avoidable.He would still be incredibly good with kids as well as helping anyone who needs it no matter how difficult the task is. Either way he still has a shit ton of warrants on his head!!!

Another thing that is absolutely vital to him is his inability to commit to anything🙏 he likes his life of wandering and it feels wrong to him to stay put in one place. he does not want his life to change and that doesn’t really help if he ever wants a relationship. to make it worse he will not speak about his feelings, i think he’d rather be struck by lightning.

the way he acted before moving to the hidden city was very different. he was much more carefree and always got into situations without much of a plan. he’d throw in some jokes in the middle of fights and hype himself up sometimes. i based off this phase of his life off of his younger self in the comics. but after this he tries to take things more seriously, keeping to himself and not breaking rules as often and acts like a dick sometimes . he gets better tho after hating leo for a while and gets to know him better.

i did change some characters a bit like katsuichi. he still lives as a hermit but took usagi in when he was much younger due to his dad passing. he takes on a more fatherly role than just a sensei for usagi. i dont see him calling him a cockroach or a head lice knowing this poor kid just lost his dad😭

kitsune, gen, and tomoe are living their lives back in japan. kitsune still lives as a street performer and a thief and shes having a good life rn honestly. shes knowledgeable in some mystic items as they’re usually a part of her performances. she’d be active on social media platforms, she’d have very organized posts. she’s also the one who reaches out the most to usagi; she pokes fun at him but she does it as a way to check in on him since the last time she really saw him he wasn’t in the best shape. i haven’t really gotten to gen yet, but he’s still a bounty hunter. he’d still be a bit of an ass when it comes to money or usagi.

dont have much on tomoe, which is honestly a crime, but i have the idea that she is a student at her father’s school. i think she’d be entirely dedicated to her skills and wouldn’t have much time for anything else. she’d only ever see usagi if he’s visiting the geishu province. i plan on them leaving eachother on strained terms when he left japan, they’d eventually sort it out in the future though. there’s also chizu, who usagi has worked with in the past but eventually stopped. She’s completely dedicated to the neko ninja, willing to do everything she has to for their cause. she ended their friendship by deceiving him since “friendship is a weapon that is used by the ninja, but it can be much worse if the ninja develops feelings of friendship.”

chizu is honestly a big reason who usagi heavily distrusted leo at first; his experience with ninja isn’t very pleasant

#ask #dear lord this is long sorry :’D #also happy holidays

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anna-naray · 6 months

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Ciaoo a tutti!! 🌜

These are early messy doodles of one of my Angel's Friends comic' au! Since I'm planning to post soon new contents about it, I thought to share also these one-years-old pages of my sketchbook! .3.

It was pretty funny to re-imagine all the relationships between the main cast of the story and possible backstories for each character! You can find the translated summary of some notes under the pages! Enjoy ✨

Instagram posts: 1# concept, 2# concept and 3# concept

↑ Early concepts about 😈 characters, especially about Raf and Ang-Lì. These two have a strong relationship in this story of mine and Raf is always ready to save Ang-Lì from problems when she's not busy training or escape from some of her fans! (She's a young devilish fashion model)

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↑ Sulfus is a model student, a very determined and reliable angel, although his unusual mascot gives him a somewhat dangerous aura! His design was one of the first I revisited later and required much more study than others character designs to meet my idea of his character! ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

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↑ Kabalé and Cabiria are close friends of Sulfus. Kabalé is a joyful and sunny young angel, while Cabiria is a refined little angel always ready to support her friends! 😇

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↑ At first, I was thinking of giving Raf an older brother - since the story does not involve the same plot as the original comics with the monstrous golems called Riviventi - who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But ... ideas changed, although this detail would have led to the first interaction between Raf and Sulfus in the old version of the au plot! 🫠

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↑ At first I imagined Miki as a strong little devil fighter, daughter of a famous hell fighter from the city of Zolfanello! She is Raf's training partner and his right-hand man! Gabi is a genius with sleep problems and poor social skills! Uriè is... a lunatic young devil with few peculiar "gifts"! 🤪

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CLOSE UPS

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theplumsoldier · 11 months

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aftermath [2]

summary: you, joel, and ellie enjoy a meal, and as joel tries to make conversation, you become aware of your lack of social skills

pairing: joel miller x reader

word count: 2397

warnings: mentions of drugs (weed), self-doubt, description of reader's wrinkles, reader's age specified (37)

series: aftermath, part 1

Joel returned with not one but four rabbits, the poor fluffs tossed over his shoulder, a somewhat proud demeanor in his bearing.

In the meantime, you had gotten to know Ellie a bit. You had counted on her having already fallen asleep when you returned, seeing as she was oh-so-exhausted. No, she was a curious, quick-witted child who liked to poke her nose where it didn't belong. She reminded you of yourself at that age, and you couldn't help but snort at the way she annoyed you straight away. Back then adults didn't like you much either, at least your teachers did little to hide that fact, and your parents; even less.

It was specifically when it came to materialistic things Ellie could not stop herself from snooping.

Over the years you had amassed a rather large collection of books, comics, and board games, even though it proved difficult to enjoy the ladder seeing as those typically required more than one player—bar that time you managed to play an intense game of Stratego with your drunken self.

After having skinned the rabbits and done all preparations with the help of Joel, you told him to go be with Ellie. He protested, saying helping out was the least he could do, but you insisted.

It was not that you did not need any more help, for you still needed to clean the potatoes and get some ingredients from upstairs. Really you were thankful for his help, although it was indeed the least he could do, but you found yourself unable to concentrate on the task at hand in his company.

Joel had begun asking questions about you, surely not in an attempt to make you uncomfortable but it was that exact effect he had on you. Socializing wasn't your strongest suit and it seemed that once you were all in one room together, each going about your own business, there was this pressure on your shoulders to become a conversationalist and engage in small talk. In your dreams, it always came naturally and it had been so long speaking to someone that you failed to remember just what was so difficult about it, well—now you remembered: you didn't know what to answer nor when you should ask a question in return. Judgemental thoughts stopped you from just speaking freely, making all sentences curt and unnecessarily harsh.

You knew it was yourself making nothing serious into something insanely weird, but you couldn't help it. It had always been like that. With no people around you, it had become less of a pest, but now that you had invited—not one, but two people into your home, this lifelong problem was once again prevailing.

You mentally cursed yourself for not having a joint rolled up and ready, knowing it would help your impediment. You had been slightly surprised by yourself earlier, only now realizing how different you might seem, quiet all of a sudden. It had probably been the adrenaline making you less self-aware and you hoped they wouldn't notice the difference in behavior. You weren't quite sure why you put so much thought into it, but your best guess was the human company.

While Ellie lounged on the couch with her nose in a comic, Joel asked for permission before looking through your books, to which you merely nodded and he realized you primarily had fiction, specifically science fiction and fantasy.

He never had been big on reading, seeing as his contractor job took up most of his time. When he would get home from a long day he usually found it difficult to concentrate on a book, which was why he usually watched television as it did not require his full attention. Back then, he only ever sat down and read the newspaper as he drank his morning coffee.

Joel figured he would give the book The Time Machine by H.G. Wells a shot and he quickly found himself drawn to the story, not noticing when you had disappeared upstairs to gather ingredients.

Upon entering the room which you had transformed into a greenhouse late last summer, you were happy to feel the air moist and heavy. It had taken many losses, a lot of reading up on herbalism, and a lot of patience to find the plants sprouting but it had finally paid off, and the overpowering yet fresh scent of various herbs.

You went with merian, thyme, and rosemary, a proud expression tugging at your features, proud of the little garden you had managed to create.

You checked the soil before going back down, ensuring the herbs were tended to and that the clear tarpaulin kept the rain out from entering through the large hole in the roof. While you had made plans for restoration all throughout the house, you had decided to keep this room mostly as it was, deciding years back that you would need somewhere to keep plants and such when the earth froze in the winters. With half the roof missing from this room, it seemed suitable to merely put a tarp over it for the greenhouse effect.

Later in the evening, you glazed the meat with rosemary and thyme marinade, cut vegetables, and cleaned the potatoes, putting it all together in a casserole and over the fire so that the whole house smelled delicious with a strong aroma.

"Fuck, that smells good!" commented Ellie, eyes wide as she watched you remove the lid. "Holy shit."

The rabbit had such a golden glow it damn near looked like a rotisserie chicken. Poking at the meat with a fork, you were content with the amount of juice it had gathered from the vegetables and cut through it. The meal tasted as great as it looked, and you knew whatever they had expected, your guests were not disappointed.

During dinner, Joel asked about the ingredients and how you managed to keep fresh vegetables and obtain seasoning, to which you hesitantly replied. You were unsure what these people would do, what kind of lengths they would go to, once they found that this home was not half bad. If they were to try and kill you to settle permanently, you would not be surprised.

You had seen what this new world had done to even the kindest people, so you were not about to let your guard down to feel comfortable around some nice people. Experience had taught you as much and as the phrase "fool me once" grazed your mind, you tensed up and suddenly became hyperaware of their every move, watching Joel as if the fork he used to shovel food into his mouth would be his weapon of choice.

For the rest of the night, you kept your distance, cautiously keeping an eye out.

This mien did not go unnoticed. With Ellie in his care, it was his job to look out for danger and where clickers and such had a specific mien giving their trouble away, humans tended to behave in suspect ways.

The way Joel saw it, there were two options: either you were - like he himself was - suspicious as a result of limited human interaction and awkward therefore, which he concluded would be a result of your conversational skills (or lack thereof). Or you were waiting for them to sleep so that you may kill them and put an end to this visit.

Either way, Joel knew to be wary of you. That did not stop him from quizzing you about your situation, however. While you cleaned the table and filled the casserole with hot water to let it soak while also using it as a dishpan

"You been 'ere alone the past 20 years?" questioned he, hoping to paint a picture of the circumstances. Joel knew this situation easily could go sideways if anyone suddenly showed up. It was long ago he had learned that one territorial person was better than two, which meant the fewer, the better.

Luckily for him, you did not pick up on his double-dealing tone. You were far too concentrated on what he said, not what he meant.

Joel immediately detected you tense up, like you had at dinner, and when he pointed his eyes at you, yours were blank, staring into the grimy water in the makeshift dishpan.

"It's..." stuttered you, clenching your jaw in realization, and looked up at him. "It's been 20 years?"

Joel did not know what to say, realizing he had assumed you were aware of the time that had passed. He watched as your lips drew into a sharp line, feeling an overwhelming gush of guilt. Still, his self-reproach did not hinder his analytical mind and he decided that it would make sense for someone who lived in total isolation to not keep track of such a thing. He figured that if he had been alone all these years, time would be the least of his worries.

A surge of cold air made you cast your glance back down into the dirty water, his words and then silence being all you needed to suddenly become very, very sad.

Inhaling, your breath came out ragged. Now you really hated not having a joint at hand.

You didn't know why, but with these news unexpectedly dawned on you, it felt as if something expanded in your chest. A void, or maybe something filling it? Although you felt sad, you also felt your breath hitch as if you were exhilarated by this information. 20 years.

That's a long time.

That would make you 37 years old.

When you chuckled Joel's eyebrows went from sitting in a tentative crease to drawing close to his hairline. The same laugh this woman he used to date would emit whenever she was pissed. Crazy, Sarah would call her. It's in her eyes, she said. Joel hadn't noticed he had taken a small step back.

You cleared your throat, discerning a certain worry on his face so you shook your head, a wry grin unable to leave your lips now. "I... yeah—I've been living alone—sorry, what year is it?"

"2023."

Yeah, 37. Holy shit.

Without saying another word, you picked up the plate and continued cleaning. Joel caught on, thinking it best to not poke your mind anymore. For now, at least. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head, so the two of you finished doing the dishes in silence with only the light splashing sounds from the water and plates clamoring as they were stacked on top of another.

After dinner, you went into the bathroom to check on the wound Ellie had been so kind to give you. The bandages needed changing and while you did so, cleaning the area in the proces, you found yourself inspecting your features. Honestly, you would not have guessed you were 37.

There were fine lines around your eyes and a hardened crease cutting the space between your brows, however, there were no darkness circling your eyes, nor those heavy bags that usually makes elderly people's faces look perpetually puffy and scrunched up. Upon closer inspection, you found that wrinkles had formed on your neck, and the skin attaching your ears to the sides of your face had little lines adorning it.

Compared to what you remembered from the vague memory you had of your mother's face when she was in her early forties, you figured the years had been kind to you.

Had you been asked you would have guessed you were younger, for you thought 20 years of this life that you had lived would have taken its toll. Subconsciously you began thinking about your lifestyle, for you had indeed been getting sleep, you ate well and despite not having seen an infected in a long time - your guess would be years but you had recently come to understand you had absolutely no sense of time - a day did not pass without doing some kind of work around the house which had your heart galloping. Keeping all the obvious reasons for living a stressful life in mind, you supposed you had been living a rather healthy couple of years. Of course, social interactions were uncommon, to say the least, but that had never been something that bothered you.

It grazed your mind to think of these people in your home as an opportunity to brush up on conversational skills. Perhaps interaction did not have to be as difficult a thing as your mind made it out to be.

That idea was wiped from your mind the minute you entered the living room again, though. With Joel's eyes torn from his book and on you the second you stood there, ready to "give it a go", an invisible tail gave away your cowardice and you immediately went into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

No, not doing that.

Joel couldn't keep his attention on the book, eyes being torn from the pages and mind wandering at the faintest sounds. Ellie had fallen asleep, her mouth slightly agape with soft snores escaping whenever she turned in her slumber. Joel felt a warmth in his chest as he watched her with such a peaceful expression on her face.

When you came out from the bathroom, his gaze instinctively shifted to your frame. He offered a small smile but the second he did your eyes widened you turned on your heel and disappeared into the bedroom.

Joel's eyes lingered on the door until he figured you had gone to sleep, before turning his attention back to the book. His eyes read the same line he had for the past hour or so, but in a curious way, the sentence changed to the thoughts running through his brain, occupying the pages with his wonders rather than those of H.G. Wells.

A minute later you exited the room again, this time with two blankets clutched to your chest. Hurriedly striding up to him, your eyes glued to the ground.

Joel stood up as you neared him, thanking you and accepting the blankets as you extended them, shoving them into his chest, and only then you looked up, nodding.

You took the chance to watch him more closely, inspecting his features in the dim light of the fireplace. He was even more handsome up close.

Stepping back, you offered a barely noticeable nod. "Good night."

#theplumsoldier #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo #the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller series #joel miller pedro pascal #joel miller angst #tlou hbo

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jtownraindancer · 7 months

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top 5 burn characters go

Good gods Anon this is evil. Only five!??? 😭💕

I spent like three days trying to make up my mind on this, and I'm still not satisfied, but as of the moment, in no particular order:

The Best Boys

Mr. William Guppy of Kenge & Carboy, Bleak House

He's awkward, he's manipulative, he has no real social skills to speak of, and he's in love. I actually really disliked this character when I first read the book circa 2011, but as Burn seems wont to do, I ended up being completely won over in the end. ^_^; His Guppy is expressive, less a comic relief and almost sympathetic. I mentioned in a conversation with @synthapostate about how Guppy is technically an antagonist, but he's played in such a way that you really can't see it (unlike the book). Also the camera is half in love with Burn this entire series, and it makes it very, very easy to fall in love with this dorky, curly-haired puppy of a man.

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, Pacific Rim & Pacific Rim: Uprising

I could write sonnets about Hermann for how much I've come to love him. 😅 He's one of the Characters of All Time for me. From his passion, his stubborn resilience, and his sharp humor, to his unwavering loyalty for those he cares for and his ability to care so deeply, how could I not irrevocably fall for him? (Also singlehandedly the cause of the 2023 Burn Binge.) Hermann found his way into my heart from the very beginning, but I never realized how at home he had made himself until the day I turned around and he was patiently waiting for me to see him. I think I fell for him and Newt in the same fell swoop, and my love for both of them is unwavering.

Dr. Owen Harper, Torchwood

I've been in love with this bastard since 2013; I've been repressing that adoration for 10 years. I- I don't really remember the exact moment that my opinion of Owen shifted from extreme dislike to him carving a permanent place in my very being, but there it is. He's sarcastic, an incorrigible flirt, and has one of the biggest, kindest hearts I've ever come across in fiction. At the time, I was pre-Med, and I aspired to be half as compassionate a doctor as him. After Exit Wounds, I gave up Torchwood (I couldn't, not with Tosh gone too.), but I've slowly been dipping my toes back in via Burn's reading of some of the books & the Big Finish audios. It's been 10 years, yet I think I'm more in love with this bastard than I ever was before. (And okay, I admit, he might be my favorite-favorite ^_^;)

Sgt. Detective William Blore, And Then There Were None

Bill, Bill, Bill... He's a crooked cop, he's tired of everyone's nonsense, he's filled with regret, he's probably gay. Detective Blore is yet another classic lit character that I first met back in the late 20-aughts, early 2010s who I really didn't care for. Then 2023 rolls around, and not only did I come to love him in this adaptation, but I've ended up going on an Agatha Christie bender because of it. Burn made me... well love would be too strong a word, but I definitely rank Blore as "a poor little meow meow."

Major Edmund Hewlett, TURN

How could this list be at all complete without including my beloved major? (Just picking a gif for this made me realise how badly I've missed him. 🥺) Edmund is... How do I explain how much I adore this guy? How do I possibly pin down the levels of pride I have in his journey, in his growth, explain the way my heart aches at the twists and turns that will tear him apart and build him back even stronger? How do I possibly do justice in conveying how damn aspirational he is, how merciful, how delightful? I can't, really. He's a force of nature that one must experience for themselves. (And I need to resume my rewatch methinks~)

Runner-Ups

(or the characters who have been spinning in my brain nonstop like rotisserie chickens and absolutely deserve mention)

Ben Jarvis, Cheat

I... I have entire essays I want to write about this guy. I have theories I want to discuss, but as most of them are... I can't. Yet. Maybe soon? I- Anyway. Ben was a huge surprise, and definitely nowhere close to what I was expecting when I finally got around to watching this show. I would be lying to say it wasn't a pleasant surprise, and I absolutely love how Burn was able to do a lot of solo work this series, with a lot of focus on body language and his uncanny knack for killer expressions.

Jacko Argyle, Ordeal By Innocence

This... This beautiful little shit ♡ One of the first Burn movies I actively chose to seek out, my second in his Agatha Christie adaptations, and my first dive into gif making. And Jacko-! Oh, Jacko... You stole my heart then broke it in only a few, few precious moments of screentime and backstory. He haunts the entire film, he haunts me still, and I'm so glad I had the chance to meet him.

Martin, Up There

(Oh look yet another one of my gifs 😅)

Martin is absolutely one of my favourite characters, especially for his absolute growth during the film. He crawls out of his downward spiral, he finds himself again, and ultimately discovers that there can be life after death. He just- He's grumpy, he's beautifully sarcastic, he's depressed, he's loved, and he just- Seriously I love him. Martin feels like a friend who I haven't seen in an age, and it's always a good day to bump into him again.

Reverend Benedict Marley, Lark Rise to Candleford

I almost forgot my favourite clergyman??? D:

Benedict Marley came into my life just to shake my very foundations, send me on an existential journey of self discovery, and waited for me at the end of it all with a soft smile and encouraging words. He only had one episode in the show, but his story was so easily woven and understood, his humility humbled me, and in ways that make me almost afraid to admit aloud- I felt seen in a way that I ever so rarely am. I connected to him; I understand him. He has depths that I could hardly explain in a single paragraph, but I can say that- out of all these characters- my feelings are birthed more out of a very deep respect and admiration.

I can't say this list will stay the same- I'm far from through with Burn's portfolio- but for his on-screen roles, these guys firmly remain top-tier for me. :)

(If you'd like to hear about his voice work instead, please let me know; I could go on for Hours about some of those lads. ♡)

Thanks for the ask Anon, and if you haven't seen any of these yet, I definitely recommend them!

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my-name-is-jefferooni · 2 months

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Alright. Here’s a giant IDW Silver analysis that has been quite a while in the making. Prepare yourself.

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO I AM FINALLY GETTING TO THIS HUNK OF AN ANALYSIS AFTER PROBABLY A MONTH OR SO OF STALLING. For context, here’s the reblog where I mentioned I’d one day analyze Silver’s character in the IDW comics:

And now here is a disclaimer:

This is gonna be a huge, gigantic, mongo beast of an analysis! I don’t know how rushed the ending will be and I don’t know how many images will be included, because I took a lot, and I mean A LOT of screenshots! There is so much material to work with here, and I didn’t even include the annuals! So please, make yourself comfortable, grab a snack and some water, and enjoy the read! It’s most likely gonna be my longest one yet!

Oh and also there are gonna be some pretty big spoilers for the IDW Sonic comics so be sure to read it all before reading this. It’s all connected…

Now, without further ado, let’s get on with the show! Finally…!

———

Bruh. Before we even meet the guy, we can tell what kind of person Silver is. Before Sonic can land a hit on the robot, Silver cuts in, smashing the bot to pieces. And to me, the way he does it isn’t meant to be some basic way of taking out a badnik. When rereading the issue to get some good Silver material, I noticed how everything from the torso and onwards is smashed to pieces by Silver, whereas the rest of the robot is left just chilling on the ground. To me, this is Silver just neutralizing what is actually a threat, the blades, and taking notice of what is the threat and getting rid of it easily. First panel and we already see his perception skills in action!

We see more of it not too much later on in the issue when Sonic is pointing out what kind of powers were used to kill off the other badnik. Silver is leaning in closely, drinking in every words Sonic says, as if he’s learning some secret sensei technique or something! Silver is learning from Sonic about different wispon types and learning how to be more perceptive. Overall, Silver just likes to learn!

This part of his character makes a huge impact on himself as a whole! Silver is anything if not eager and naive, and that shows in a lot of what he does and the expressions he makes.

This is also where his admiration for Whisper comes into play. Silver adores Whisper at the start of his time in the comic, and aspires to be just like her as well as everyone else one day! She even saved his life! Why wouldn’t he wanna be like her?? All of this just shows how young and naive the white hedgehog is, and how much he truly doesn’t know. Silver doesn’t know how plants grow, he doesn’t know how people work, he doesn’t know anything! And this is where his obvious lack of social interaction comes in.

Silver spent a majority of his life without anyone to look up to. (Assuming the events of 06 did not take place and he really was on his own) He didn’t have any parents, no family, no friends, no home, nothing! The poor boy was completely on his own in a charred, desolate world full of nothing but despair. And throughout that time, he was almost helpless to stop it all. Silver knew there were still people out there in his time, knew there were people just trying to survive, and all he could do was take care of himself. He was starving, cold, and alone. No one came to save him because he could never save them.

This all grows inside Silver’s gut until it becomes just a big, ugly blob of loneliness. All his life, Silver desperately wanted, needed someone to be there for him, needed someone to hold him and tell him it’d all be okay. He needed a savior. So, to mask his insecurities, he finds saviors in Blaze, Sonic, and Whisper.

Yeah yeah, I know. Just shut up and we’ll get back to this in a moment.

All three of these characters saved Silver’s life at one point or another. Shadow did too technically, but we’re focusing on the IDW timeline here and Shadow hardly interacts with Silver in this comic so we won’t be talking much about him. ANYWHIZZLE, Silver holds these three in high regard, and looks up to them. He considers Blaze his first ever friend, (And as a Silvaze shipper I see them as an item) thinks of Sonic as a legendary hero, and sees Whisper as his Guardian Angel. All people whom he only knows due to his time traveling abilities. If he didn’t have the means to do time travel, he would never know these people and thus would never have any friends or family. He wouldn’t have any hope. And that’s why the connections Silver makes with others creates such a big part of his personality and it’s why he feels so “Off” in 06, because back in that nonexistent reality he only had Blaze. He had something, but it was hardly enough to keep him alive.

However, just like all of us, when you leave such insecurities to boil in your gut for such a long time, when you leave it to rot for so long, it eventually just kinda. Blows up on you. In your face. In front of everyone.

I don’t have many good examples without going into the next section so this is all you’ll get for now

Silver is a young, naive, complicated fool. He has so many things whirling around in his head all at once and it’s suffocating him. He doesn’t want to ruin anything for himself or for others, so he bottles everything up in hopes that it’ll all end up fine in the end. But when it does eventually explode on himself, he can’t help but make things worse for everyone else.

Take his short time with the Diamond Cutters, for example. He was dealing with a lot at the time, trying to juggle the stress of knowing his own time is safe while also wondering why he’s even back in the past. He doesn’t know what to do, and that all comes to a head when he suspects the worst about Duo. His suspicions are correct as we all know, but he doesn’t know that, and neither do the Diamond Cutters. He makes a mess of the Restoration HQ just to try and prove a point, which gets him booted from the team, and he can’t do anything afterwards except sulk in his garden.

In short, Silver tends to bottle up his emotions/problems until it all just explodes in his face and he then shuts down from all the intense feelings. He ends up confused, numb, and desperately needs guidance.

Now let’s move onto his power set, and OH BOY does this boy love to show off!

Silver is incredibly prideful in what he can do, and it most definitely shows when others praise him for it. However, there are some limits, and those limits are big!

Silver can only move things with his mind. It’s telekinesis, not pyrokinesis.

He needs to focus to be able to use his power.

Broski has auDHD

He also has anxiety

Welp. As you can see those are all some very big limitations.

When you have powers that can only function when you are focused and know what you’re doing, and when they also only work when you can see what you’re focusing on, well… It doesn’t really help you very much when you’re best friend and idol is a super speedy hedgehog that can go at Mach 7 if he feels like it. Silver’s insecurities combined with his anxiety and auDHD AND his survival instincts… They don’t mix too well. Don’t get it twisted though, he is still a master and psychokinesis and he uses his power shockingly well considering those circumstances. He can do so much cool shit with just his brain alone and it is insane! However, he can’t just do anything with it.

Just like what he says here! Haha~!

It also provides an explanation for this.

Silver just wasn’t focused during this time and was probably holding his own against a pretty big army of badnik already, so he wasn’t prepared for this funky little guy. Simple.

Now, back to his insecurities because YES THERE’S MORE. OF COURSE THERE’S MORE. THIS BOYO LIVED THROUGH AN APOCALYPSE FOR LIKE 13-14 YEARS OF HIS LIFE. OF COURSE THERE’S GONNA BE MORE.

Considering all these limitations and how quickly and easily Silver can lose focus, and also considering how young and naive he is, it’s safe to say Silver just can’t compare to all the others in the past.

Silver is always constantly comparing himself to them, always pushing himself to do better, digging himself into a rut deeper than the abyss. He looks up to all these people like they are more powerful than him, like they matter more than him, and that leads to him getting hurt more often than not.

LIKE. JUST. I KNOW THEY WERE LOW ON STAFF BUT JUST READ THAT AND TELL ME THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A CASE OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME. LOOK AT ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT. POOR SILVER.

This all comes to a head though in the battle between Silver and… Uh… Whatever the depressed guy is called, the depresso Zeti guy.

In this fight, Silver is going up against someone who can only see the bad in people, who can only see a world of bleakness and despair. Depresso hates anything that is joyful, despises anything good in life, and only wants to see people be as sad as him. He’s a petty, pathetic loser.

But at one point, Silver was just like him.

Look at this and tell me this doesn’t give off the same vibes as the fight scene lol

But yeah! Silver was once as hopeless and depressed as Depresso over there! He had no hope for the future, had no way of knowing if anything was gonna be alright, had no one to look up to… Safe to say he was most likely worse than Depresso! But due to his age and the knowledge that there were still people out there, still families wandering in groups hoping for daybreak, he held onto what little hope he had left. He probably ended up saving a few people and they thanked him, and that probably gave him the push he needed to keep dreaming. Just as his own song Dreams of an Absolution suggests!

“Struggle, wriggle, writhe and cry! You can’t escape, you’ll soon be mine.”

That sounds like a certain someone’s depression talking~! And when Silver first attacks Depresso and says “I can be direct! Cover me!” That is Silver’s way of saying “I can’t do much against my own emotions without being upfront and blunt about it, but I also accept your help in fending them off. Will you help me if I accept such help??”

And when Depresso asks, “How can you be so disgustingly heroic and selfless??” Well, Silver responds with this:

“Because I have faith in others. I believe things will get better… And because I have a Guardian Angel watching over me!”

Silver got better, managed to fend off those dark thoughts that plague Depresso, because he is able to look up to people. He is so young and eager to learn that he doesn’t see anything bad in having faith in others and asking for help. He’s prideful in what he can do, but unlike Sonic and Shadow, his pride and insecurity doesn’t overshadow his willingness to learn and get help from others.

———

AND MAN. I WOULD ADD SO MANY MORE IMAGES IN THIS IF TUMBLR ALLOWED IT SO I WILL SAVE THE REST OF THIS ANLYSIS FOR A PART TWO.

Why? Well, because we’re literally on the very cusp of the ending for this thing (Finally) and I can’t just end this giant analysis off without adding any funny Silver pics! So please be patient while I come up with a part two for this whole thing. Such a shame I can’t add more images for now, but this will have to do.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING THIS GIANT-ASS POST. I KNOW IT TOOK YOU FOREVER TO GET HERE, AND I COMMEND YOU GREATLY FOR FINISHING THIS. Part two will be out soon hopefully so stay tuned for that!

#blog/ask stuff #my shitty rambles #silver the hedgehog #idw silver the hedgehog #sonic idw #IDW sonic comics #idw sonic spoilers

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jasontoddssuper · 7 months

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Thinking Tim Drake is like Percy Jackson is mindboggling to me.Tim's rich,Percy's poor,Tim was raised by his dad and lost his mom at a young age,Percy's dad abandoned them and they grew up with their mom,Tim actively puts himself into dangerous situations because he lives for them,Percy wants nothing more than to be normal,Tim dates left and right,Percy just wants people to stop throwing themselves at them.You COULD say they're both snarky but even then Percy's sense of humor is almost the same as Jason's rather than Tim's brand and him and Jason are actually the similar ones when you read comics and also realize Rick's a piece of shit-Lower class,get called dumb because of their anger issues and bad social skills due to trauma but are genuises',same sense of humor like i said,it makes more sense for them to be afrolatinos than for them to be white,they're Team Parents and even both have a supernatural hair streak.Percy's not even a skater boy like Tim because it got mentioned literally twice in the entire franchise and the second time was when Piper thought she was straight i'm crying

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wonderinc-sonic · 10 months

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So we all know and agree that Shadow is an edgy little bitch, right? He wouldn't admit to having friends, he has an ego, will fight to avoid talking, will on purposefully not team up with the literal saver of the planet (Sonic) until last second despite how every could have been resolved earlier if he did simply because he'd rather struggle on his own.

While I do been that Shadow does believe that he HAS to be independent and most likely has attachment issues. I headcanon that around 60-80% of all of this is part of an edgy r/iamverybadass teen cringe phase.

He knows he has friends but will say that he 'has no friends' to sound dark and mysterious. He repeatedly calls himself 'the ultimate lifeform' even after being beat multiple times simply because he feels like it's his version of the Batman's 'Dark Knight' title. He always picks fights instead of talking because the guys in his favourite comics and shows 'talk with their fist and not with their words' when it's actually because he's worried about embarrassing himself by getting tongue tied with his limited social skills.

He thinks he'd be the tattoo artist when he settles down but when he grows up, he'd be the florist.

Absolutely. Teenage edgelord, even within his own context. IMO Shadow is one of the most immature characters with regards to sense of identity. I could chalk this up to inconsistent writing, and Shadow the Hedgehog certainly tries to sure him up, but I choose to try and fit as many pieces into the picture as possible.

When he's in a secure/ stable team, he is quite a bit more predictable and cooperative. In instances where we see him alone or working with people he doesn't know or trust, he seems to resort to aggression and defensiveness and tries to avoid showing any need or gain from working with others. In Shadow the Hedgehog, we could interpret that his sense of direction is so eroded that he could tip between saving and destroying the world based on a few kind words from one side or the other.

That's some of the most early teen shit I ever did see. This beast is suceptible to the alt-right pipeline but will be a punk if one person he admires tells him to. It's understandable; his memory is poor, and he hasn't got as much life experience as he has brain to process it. He shrinks back into being his edgy persona, which hides this vulnerability well, but he is so far from secure. He will grow and change, whether he likes it or not.

Put that child back in the developmental oven, give it 12-15 years of supportive love and care, and you'll find a hog that doesn't need to tell you he's the ultimate life form. Or maybe she's a woman now, but that might just be my personal deranged reading.

#i find it real hard to set any sonic fic more than like 5 years down the line without transing metal sonic and shadow #but that may just be me #shadow the hedgehog #wonderincs #thanks for the ask! 🦔🖤#anon #queue

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