#and im gonna stay out of hitting range im not stupid but im gonna stay on their side | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

restlessfandoming · 3 years

Text

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 13) (chilumi fic)

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link] // [Main AO3]

* * *

im really sorry for the massive time between each update. i am truly in the struggle * * *

the president and the troublemaker (part 13)

“I’m a professional fighter,” Lumine said to Venti.

Venti stared at her for a long second, before slowly raising one of his brows. “What are you talking about, LuLu?”

She bit her lip. “You know, like the UFC. That’s my job. I’m a MMA fighter.”

Again, Venti stared at her, then glanced between her and the unconscious men on the floor.

Lumine braced herself for him to laugh, to ridicule her, or even shy away in fear—how terrifying it was that she was powerful enough to do all that and even more. He would be disappointed, a bright student like her getting involved with the activities of delinquents.

“That’s…,” Venti started. Then, he went to Lumine, grabbing her hands, eyes bright. “So cool!”

Lumine looked at him, silent with shock.

“Wow, I would have never guessed!” he went on. “But I should have known. You’ve always been so strong.”

“So you’re not...disappointed?” she asked.

“Of course not. I would never be disappointed in you,” he said, giving her a soft smile.

Lumine’s eyes stung. From relief? From gratefulness? “Thank you, Venti.”

His smile widened. “Just wait until everyone at school hears about this! They’re gonna think you’re so cool, and you’re gonna get so popular, and—”

Lumine pulled her hand away from his, a trembling panic overtaking her nerves. “Venti, no one can find out about this,” she blurted.

His brows furrowed. “Why not? You should be proud of what you do.”

Lumine stood in silence, ruminating. Proud of what I do?

Venti started reaching out towards her when there was an audible THUMP from the ground.

Childe stood from where he had hit one of the men on the floor. “He was waking up,” he said after taking in Venti and Lumine’s worried looks. “We should leave now.”

Lumine let her gaze linger on Venti—his brows furrowed from either confusion or frustration or both—before turning to Childe.

“Yeah…let’s go back the way we came and try to backtrack,” she suggested. She and Childe started to make their way back.

Venti didn’t budge. “How does Childe know?”

“What?” Lumine answered.

“You said you don’t want anyone to know.” His teal green eyes narrowed, ever so slightly, at Childe. “So he’s an exception?”

“He found out on his own,” Lumine said. Why is he doing this right now? We need to go—

“And I’m her coach,” Childe said, crossing his arms. There was the tiniest curve of a smile on his lips.

Venti let out a meek laugh. “He’s your coach? So do you spend a lot of time together?”

She threw a glare at Childe. “Yes—Well, I don’t know. I guess.” She shook her head. “This isn’t the time to be talking about this. Let’s go.” She marched off without another word.

As she walked back the direction they came from, she heard the two boys footsteps behind her. She kept her pace up, however, not wanting to speak to either of them at the moment. Any time either of them entered her peripheral vision, she sped up away from them. Stupid boys and their stupid jealously.

Eventually, after trying to navigate the twists and turns of the alleyways, the group had somehow ended up in a completely new location.

Lumine first noticed when the scent of salty sea waves hit her nose. Then, was the shuddering of ocean waves lapping against the shore line, and the groaning of metal ships floating in the water.

“Looks like we’re at a dock,” Childe remarked.

“How did we even get here?” Venti wondered.

Lumine rubbed at her forehead. “How do we get out?”

The three of them stood silently, thinking, watching as a group of fishermen unloaded from a large docked ship, and funneled into a nearby building—tall and silvery sleek.

Childe murmured something to himself before heading towards the building himself. “Follow me,” he said to Lumine and Venti.

The two shared a questioning look, before following Childe forward.

They all entered the building, finding themselves in a large lobby, business men and women scooting past. Childe instructed Venti and Lumine to wait in the corner as he went alone to approach the receptionist.

Lumine watched curiously as the receptionist looked at Childe, a mix of wary and annoyance. Childe started saying something to the lady, his face lifted in confidence. The longer he went on, the receptionist’s expression shifted to disbelief, slowly picking up the telephone and making a call.

The receptionist kept her eyes on Childe while talking on the phone, with Childe smiling right back at her. As the phone call went on, her face stretched into shock, eventually handing the phone right to Childe with wide eyes.

Lumine furrowed her brows as Childe took the phone, turning away so she no longer saw his face. What in the world is he doing?

When he finished his conversation, Childe turned back to the receptionist, but kept hold on the phone. He gestured to Lumine, and after a nod from the receptionist, he waved her over.

Lumine awkwardly walked up to the desk, ignoring Venti’s whispered questions behind her. Upon reaching Childe, he held out the phone to her.

“All yours,” he said. There was something in his expression Lumine hadn’t quite seen before—a sheepishness of sorts, a humbled look that didn’t seem possible for him.

She hesitantly took the phone, eyes looking to the receptionist who placed the receiver towards her with a smile—much different than her initial standoffish disposition.

Lumine looked down at the keypad, her fingers already pressing the only number she could remember in the moment. The phone barely rang once before someone immediately picked up.

“Hello?” Aether’s panicked voice crackled on the other end.

Lumine let out a shaky sigh of relief. “Aether, it’s me—”

“LUMINE!” he interrupted. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

The slew of Aether’s worried questions bombarded her ear, and she almost laughed. “I’m fine,” she enunciated over his questioning. “I’m safe here with Childe. And Venti.”

“God, you two…,” Aether murmured. “Where are you?”

“Where are we?” Lumine repeated, looking up at the receptionist. The lady quickly pulled out a business card, the address of the building clearly printed; Lumine repeated the address to Aether. “We wound up here because I chased after some asshole who stole all our stuff.”

There was shuffling on Aether’s end, and she heard him talking to someone in the background. The line crinkled as he returned to the phone. “Okay, I just told Miss Ninguang,” he said. “She wants to talk to you.”

Lumine swallowed the lump in her throat. The school principal. Oh, I’m definitely in trouble…

“Miss Lumine?” Ninguang asked.

“Yes, hello, Miss Ninguang,” Lumine answered. “I am so sorry for the inconvenience; I—”

“Please, do not worry yourself,” Ninguang said, her voice reassuringly mellow. “I am just glad to hear you and your friends are safe.” A chuckle. “We were really quite besides ourselves at your disappearance.”

Lumine nearly cried in relief. “We-We’re not in trouble?”

“Of course not,” the principal said. “We just want to make sure to get you back safely.”

“Thank you. Thank you, Miss Ninguang.”

There was a pause, and Lumine could imagine Ninguang’s small smile. “Now, for the safety of everyone, we’ll meet back up in the morning. For now, it would be best for everyone to rest for the night.”

The night? Lumine glanced out of the large office windows, and blinked at the darkened sky in disbelief. Have we really been lost that long?!

“From the address Aether gave me, there should be an inn within walking distance from where the three of you are. Stay there for the night, and we will be there to pick you up in the morning.”

“Stay in the inn for the night? Miss Ninguang, I’m so sorry, but all of our money was stolen—”

“Do not worry. We will call them and make the reservation for you. Please, just rest up. I am sure it has been a stressful day for you.”

“Th-Thank you, Miss Ninguang.”

“I trust you. Stay safe.” Then, the line clicked off.

Lumine slowly handed the phone back to the receptionist, legs shaky from the relief flooding her body. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel…

“Well?” Childe asked. “What’s the plan?”

Lumine relayed the information about the nearby inn.

“Will you be needing a car ride there, Mister Ajax?” the receptionist asked Childe.

Lumine’s eyes flashed to him. Ajax?

“No, thank you,” he quickly said. “We’d better get going now.” He sauntered away from the desk.

Lumine jogged up to him. “Ajax?” she questioned.

She saw his body lock up. “It’s nothing,” he said.

A scoff. “Obviously not. How did you—”

“What’s going on?” Venti asked, skipping over to them. He looked over at the receptionist desk. “What was that all about?”

“We’ve got rooms at a nearby inn thanks to Lady Ninguang,” Childe said. “Let’s get there quickly before the night gets even darker.” He rushed out of the building.

Venti shot Lumine a confused look. “Uh, what’s wrong with him?”

“Who knows?” Lumine muttered.

Childe had always been very straightforward with her, rarely hiding any secrets.

So why was he hiding something now?

* * *

The inn—Wangshu Inn—was a quaint wooden building lit up with glowing lanterns and paintings plastered along the walls. The lobby and outdoor restaurant had a few groups strewn about, a diverse grouping of travelers. Thankfully, Lumine, Childe, and Venti didn’t look too out of place.

The three approached the lady at the front desk, a woman named Verr Goldet, with Lumine asking about their reservation.

“Yes, we just received that phone call about your situation,” she said kindly. “We have the last two rooms ready for you.”

“Oh,” Lumine uttered. She had assumed there would be three rooms, one for each of them. “I guess Venti and Childe can share a room—”

“I am not sharing a room with him,” Childe said.

“Ehe, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I will not be sharing a room with the likes of him either,” Venti retorted.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” Verr Goldet interrupted. “I didn’t realize there are three of you! The last two rooms are single bed only.”

Lumine’s jaw barely had time to drop before Venti was pulling on her arm. “Let’s have a sleepover like when we were younger, LuLu! We can build forts, watch movies—”

Childe’s hand slid down Lumine’s arm, shoving’s Venti’s hands away. “The only way that’s happening is in your dreams, buddy.”

Lumine shrugged off both of the boys, leaning in towards Verr Goldet. “There are absolutely no other rooms available?” Any combination of the three of them would surely result in a dead body in the morning.

Verr Goldet started typing away at her computer. “I’ll double check for you!”

The sound of Childe and Venti hissing insults at each other made Lumine snap around. “Just. Go to the rooms. I will figure where I’m staying for the night. Alone,” she said definitively, pulling the two keys off the counter and holding them out in front of her.

There was a pause as the two of them stared at the keys. Childe was the first to grab one.

“Guess this is goodnight then,” he said. He pressed a swift kiss to Lumine’s forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lumi.” Just as quickly, he left, disappearing into the elevator, leaving Lumine’s forehead (along with the rest of her face) to melt with boiling heat.

Before she had time to process that, Venti’s cheeks puffed, and he planted a kiss on the side of Lumine’s face. “Goodnight, LuLu. If you still want to pig out on junk food, you know where to find me,” he said, jingling his room key. He quickly disappeared into the elevator as well.

Stupid boys. Stupid boys. Stupid boys. Lumine’s mind buzzed. And who was causing this sensation?

“I am so sorry, ma’am,” Verr Goldet said, bringing Lumine back to reality. “On such short notice we truly gave you the last two rooms.” She clicked around on the computer a little more. “I can find another inn for you to stay at if you’d like.”

Lumine took a deep breath in. Her body was already feeling weighty with fatigue, and she didn’t want to complicate the situation even more. “No, that’s alright. I’ll just...stay in one of the rooms.”

Verr Goldet nodded. “Which room would you like a key to?”

* * *

Standing outside the door, Lumine suddenly felt a pang of anxiety burn in her gut. Was she really about to do this? Was it a completely idiotic choice of hers? It wasn’t too late: she could turn right back around and take Verr Goldet’s offer of staying at a separate inn.

But it wasn’t like she could avoid this choice forever, lest the two boys kept fighting for eternity.

And this was the right choice. She knew it in her heart, no matter how much pain it would cause the other one. She cared for them both, deeply. But in different ways. One as a good friend, the other...something more.

She started to push the key into the lock, but stopped herself as images of her walking in someone changing brought blood rushing to her head.

She cleared her throat and knocked on the door instead.

Seconds passed, and Lumine’s heartbeat picked up, just a bit. Was it anticipation?

The door opened, and Childe stood there, fully clothed, thankfully.

He stared at her in silence, as if in disbelief, not sure if she was really there.

“Move,” was all Lumine could say, feeling heat creep up her spine.

He blinked, and stood to the side, still silent. Lumine stepped through the doorway, moving her way to the corner of the room, and plopping herself on the armchair. Wordlessly, she yanked a blanket from the bed, and wrapped herself in it, then closing her eyes.

Maybe neither of them would speak. Maybe it would make the situation more bearable. Childe, please, don’t say anything—

“Take the bed,” he said, pulling the blanket off of her. “I’m not having you sleep in an armchair for the night.”

She tried pulling the blanket back. “It’s fine. You take the bed.”

A tsk. “Why are you always so difficult?”

“I am not diff—”

Childe picked her up from the waist, tossing her on the bed. Then he tossed the blanket on top of her. “There. Just sleep now.”

Her chest fluttered as her breath shortened under the blanket. “And you say I’m the difficult one,” she grumbled. She kept the blanket over her face for as long as she could, not wanting to make eye contact with Childe.

After a while, she peeled it off for air, and couldn’t help but glance over to the armchair where Childe was sitting, eyes closed. It was obvious he was uncomfortable, his lanky legs crossed awkwardly, and his neck looking oddly stiff.

Lumine let out a disgruntled groan, and turned on her side so her back was to Childe. “Sleep in the bed before you break your neck in your sleep,” she said. “Just...stay on your side.”

A long pause. Lumine thought he had fallen asleep.

“Are you sure about that, Lumi?” he asked.

“Do it before I change my mind and make you sleep in the bathtub instead.”

He chuckled lightly. The bed weighed down as he climbed on. Lumine glanced over her shoulder, finding Childe’s back turned to her.

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do, Lumi,” he said, as if sensing her eyes on his back.

She quickly turned her head back, heat flushing into her cheeks. “Good. Because I’d beat you up.”

“I know you would.”

They laid there in silence, in the dark for a while, backs to each other.

Lumine couldn’t fall asleep. And she was sure Childe couldn’t either.

“Why’d that lady call you Ajax?” Lumine asked quietly.

“Curious about me? I’m flattered.”

“Nevermind. Goodnight.”

“It’s my birth name,” he said. “And that place is actually owned by my father.”

Images of his luxurious mansion flashed in Lumine’s mind.

“That entire dock, actually, is mostly his. He, uh, runs a very big fishing company. Very famous. Very rich.”

“Oh,” was all Lumine could utter. That amount of wealth was something she could only dream about. “And you don’t tell anyone because...?”

“We all have our secrets, don’t we, Pres?” he reminded. “People are greedy. If anyone truly knew who I was, all I’d ever be used for is my money.”

“That’s...very true,” she responded. How...sad. “Is there a reason why you’re not at some big fancy boarding school then?”

Childe laughed. “Can you imagine me in that kind of environment? I’m not interested in that at all.”

The bed shifted as Childe moved around. Lumine glanced over her shoulder again, finding Childe laying on his back, eyes open and staring at the ceiling.

“Besides,” he continued. “If I had gone to one of those schools, I wouldn’t have met you.”

Lumine turned onto her back as well. “You would’ve met me anyways,” she murmured. “You ran into me at the arena, remember?”

“You think so?”

“Our paths would’ve crossed eventually...right?”

A beat of silence. Fluttering of breaths.

“Do you regret meeting me?”

Something about his words, the way he said them, made Lumine’s entire body seize up. It was almost the quietest she had ever heard Childe speak, the tiniest tinge of fear, like his heart had hissed it out before he even really knew what he was saying.

“No,” she answered, just as quiet, her heart responding to his.

Another slight pause. Then a small exhale from Childe, breath lilting in a soft laugh.

“You know. It’s been quite a lonely existence. Before you,” he said.

Lumine looked over at him. His hand was resting on his chest—right where that huge scar was.

It was rare to see him so vulnerable, and her to be just as such. Her past self wouldn’t have been able to fathom this happening with Childe of all people.

But just like she said, she didn’t regret it.

He understood her, better than herself sometimes. And there wasn’t anyone in Childe’s life who came close to knowing who he really was. They both wore facades of sorts, but not around each other. Not anymore.

Her hand started reaching out without thought. It was the right thing to do, to comfort him, to connect with him.

Lumine’s hand sat atop Childe’s. “You’re not so lonely anymore, right?”

She felt his hand flex under hers, hesitant. Then, he relaxed, and his fingers intertwined with hers. “Of course not.”

The warmth from their hold sparked something in her. The warmth of a promise she had made.

She finally turned onto her side, completely facing him. “Did I do it?” Her amber eyes met with his. “Did I save you?”

He stared at her, gaze lost in gaze. He smiled, small, but real, genuine, from the heart. “Yes.” He brought her hand to his lips, lips brushing over her knuckles. “You saved me, Lumine.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed with anticipation, heart beating in a frenzy. She swore her chest was going to burst.

“I love you,” she said.

…

Childe was frozen, speechless for once.

He’s surprised. He was never surprised. He was always so calm and collected.

Should I have even said it? No, she had to. She was going to explode otherwise.

“Lumi, are you serious—”

“Yes, I’m serious. I can’t explain it; I just do and I know it sounds crazy, but you—”

He pulled her close and kissed her.

He kissed her, and this time, she kissed him back.

* * *

[part 14]

#genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin lumine #chilumi #fanfiction #fanfic #me #childe x lumine

161 notes · View notes

dirtyoatmeall · 3 years

Text

All it takes is one moment (Atsumu x reader)

A/N: uhhh sorry for dropping off the face of the earth!! I have a million WIPs I’ll hopefully be posting here shortly! I was reading a bunch of cheesy hurt/comfort fics last night and decided to make my own hehe, tbh it got me thinking of doing another one but no comfort and it turning into a slow burn with another character :0 Please read the warnings, this is Post-Timeskip, so spoilers for occupations. Everyone is probably like 25ish here? Also I apologize in advance for their accents, I tried in a few spots, I’m still getting used to it. (also @spiritofthescarletwoods I know you wanted to be tagged in the midoriya angst I promised a million years ago, but here’s some tsumu angst for now!)

Genre: Hurt/comfort or Angst with a happy ending

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader (uhmm pronouns I believe are gn but I do not proof read as we all know)

Word Count: 4.?k

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationships, insinuation of cheating, slight misogynistic vibes for a moment, crude language, Atsumu is mean :( (Probably OOC Osamu and Atsumu), Post-time skip ((Let me know if I need to add something!)

You and Atsumu have been together for about 3 years now, and it was great. The two of you were very much in love, supported each other, and rarely fought, as you tried to be as open and communicate as much as possible. The last relationship you were in was toxic and abusive, it took a long time for you to be yourself again, and Atsumu had supported you along the way, he knew what had happened, and he swore to never make you feel like that again. And he stuck by that, until today.

Even though you rarely fought, when you did, it was resolved quickly, but this time was not the same. It had started off small. You had an important event coming up for work, you would be presenting on your year long research project, having made big findings in your field work. It was a huge deal for you, but when you brought it up at dinner, Atsumu did not have the same opinion.

“What do you mean you can’t make it? Everything I’ve been working on had led up to this, this is a career changing presentation, and you don’t want to go?” Hurt was clearly evident in your voice, as was frustration. Atsumu sighed, he’d had a horrible week, there was a big game coming up with the Adler’s and he needed to be prepared. “Like I said, I have practice that night, You can tell me all about it when you get home. I don’t see why you’re making a big fuss ‘bout it, ‘s just a presentation babe.” You furrowed your eyebrows looking at him incredulously.

“Did you not listen to anything I just said? It’s not just a presentation, this is my career Atsumu. I consistently put my own work aside to support you, why can’t you do the same for me? It’s not like I’m asking you to miss a game, it’s a practice.” You could tell he was getting frustrated, but so were you, you made it a point to make every single game of his, missing out on work opportunities to come support him, him refusing to come to something so important was hurtful, and made you feel like you were less important than him, but before you could voice your feelings Atsumu spoke.

“This isn’t jus’ any practice. We have a big game comin’ up, it's important I’m there, ‘m the setter. Let's be real here, we both know which of us is the bread-maker in this household. This is basically a little hobby of yours, you can come back to it at any time. I’m a professional athlete hun, there’s only so much time I have before retirement.” He spoke in a condescending manner that baffled you. He’s never spoken to you like that before, is that how he really felt about your work? You scoffed, rising from the dinner table.

“Are you fucking kidding me, do you know condescending and frankly, misogynistic that was?” He sighed and rolled his eyes as he followed you with his plate, dinner half eaten and cold much like yours. “Here you go again” He muttered, though loud enough for you to hear. You dropped your plate in the sink and you looked at him, eyes wide, and furious.

“What did you just say to me? Here I go again? What the fuck does that mean Atsumu?” He set his plate on the counter, looking at you from across the island as he gripped the countertop. “What I mean is that yer always playing the victim, we get it, you last relationship was shitty, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like this all the time, I thought you got over it?”

You balked at him, was he serious right now? “Oh my god really? Are you seriously asking me if I got over an abusive relationship, after everything I’ve told you about it? After everything I had to do to get where I am now? We are supposed to support each other, I didn’t realize it was one sided.” Atsumu sighed, growing more frustrated, he tried to interrupt you, but you kept going,

“All I wanted was for you to come to one dinner, after the years we’ve been together I haven’t asked you to miss any games or practices for my work, you know my coworkers have asked if I’m single? They didn’t believe me when I told them I was in a relationship, and you know what? I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t believe me either, since they’ve never seen you, and I take all this time off to travel and support you, all of your team know who I am, why is it so hard for you to do the same?”

As you kept going, his anger only grew, he tried interrupting you again, but it was like you weren’t paying attention to him, just spouting off whatever came to your head, and he was tired of it.

He slammed his hand on the counter, the sound reverberating throughout the apartment. You flinched, hard, but Atsumu didn’t seem to notice. “Can you just shut up for one moment? God, all you do is go on and on nagging on how what I do isn’t enough, I pay the bills here, why isn’t that enough for you? I could care less about what’s going on at your job, I have absolutely no interest in it at all, when will you get that through your fucking skull? I. don’t. care.” By the time he was done his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the counter, and you had tears in your eyes. You sucked in a breath, steeling yourself.

“Ok, I’m going to remove myself from the situation, I’ll be at your brothers, you can come get me when you pull your head out of your ass.” He rolled his eyes as you strode past him, getting your purse from the hook and going to slip on your shoes. “Yeah go ahead, you gonna wet his dick for ‘im too? ‘m sure he’ll love that.” You stiffened for a moment, putting your shoes on before looking at him, tears making your vision blurry.

“Y’know I tell myself that this isn’t like last time, that you’re not him, but at times like this-“ Your voice cracked as a sob bubbled into your throat and you shook your head, turning and heading out the door. Atsumu flinched at your words and the soft click of the door latching, he would’ve preferred to hear it slam.

Your walk to the elevator was blurry but you knew the way by heart after living there for so long. You wiped at your eyes as you pulled out your phone, tapping on the contact before bringing the phone to your ear. It rang once before it picked up, a tired “hello?” coming from the other end. You let out a quiet sob as you loaded the elevator, trying to get the words to come out. Upon hearing you, Osamu spoke again, “(Y/N)? Are you crying? What’s wrong.” You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before speaking, your voice tight. “Hey ‘samu, can, can I come to your place? ‘tsumu and I- we-'' you broke out into another sob, and you could hear Osamu close a door.

“Where are you? I’ll pick you up, I’m just leaving the restaurant I’m close.” After telling him where you were, you stayed on the phone, walking in the direction of the restaurant. Not long you see Osamu’s car pull up, he quickly gets out and looks you over and sighed as he brings you in for a hug. You sob into his jacket for a moment while he rubbed your back gently. He knew about your past as well, and figured it must have been bad for you to leave in tears. He leads you to the car and makes sure you’re strapped in before heading to the drivers side and getting in, double checking your seatbelt before driving towards his apartment.

The drive was short, though to you it felt like it lasted hours. You tried to quiet your sobs, not wanting to bother him. He looked over at you every so often, worry evident in his gaze as he tried to figure out just what his stupid brother did.

After arriving at his apartment, he sat you down on the couch, wrapping a blanket around you and giving you a box of tissues before sitting next to you, gently asking what happened. You try not to cry as you retell the events of the evening, though it got harder and harder as you told him what Atsumu said to you. By the time you were finished you were crying again, and Osamu was furious.

“I-I just don’t understand ‘samu, the things he said, did he really m-mean them? And-and when he slammed his hand on the counter, the look on his face, it, it was like I was back there all over again, like I never left. I-I know he’d never hurt me,” You sobbed out, throat getting tighter as you go on, “But at that moment, all I could think was that he was gonna hit me, and I, I had to leave, and what he said before I left,” You hiccupped and cried into your hands, not able to finish.

Osamu rubbed your back as you cried before getting up to make some tea. While the water was boiling he went into the other room, trying to calm himself down before calling his brother. The line rang three times before it was picked up, a frustrated “what do you want?” coming from the other end. It was enough to dwindle Osamu’s patience into nothing. He tried to keep his voice down, not wanting to distress you further.

“What do I want? Do you know how badly you fucked up? (Y/N) is here crying on my couch right now, do you know what she told me ‘tsumu? She told me she thought you were going to hit her. Are you fucking kidding me? Did you even think before you spoke, because from what she told me, it sounds like you didn’t. How dumb are you, after everything she’s gone through, the first big fight you have you send her running? Over a dinner? Really Atsumu?”

Atsumu groaned on the other line, “Exactly ‘samu, it’s a dinner, I have practice for the game against the Adler’s you know how big that is. She’ll have plenty of dinners for me to go to in the future. I don’t see why she got so upset over it. And she knows I didn’t mean the things I said, I was just frustrated.”

Osamu scoffed into the phone, “Did you even hear what I said, are you hearing yourself? She is the best thing that has happened to you, the least you could do is support her, this is a big deal for her Atsumu, even I know that. Honestly I don’t know why she is still with you after the shit you just pulled, did you hear me? She was scared of you, y’know like that last relationship she had? Where she was sent to the hospital multiple times, she thought she was right back there, that you were just like him. Do you know how bad you have to fuck up for that to happen, after all the counseling she’s done? You know how much trust you just broke? I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to hear from you again, and I’d agree with her. God I have half a mind to tell Ma what you did, You need to sit and stew on what you just lost. And I mean it, I don’t want to see you here tonight, she needs a safe space right now. I’ll let her stay for as long as she wants, but I’m not gonna stop her if she leaves so you better get your fucking head on straight and get on your knees begging for forgiveness you don’t deserve.”

With that Osamu hung up the phone, exhaling as he pinched the bridge of his nose, was his brother really that stupid? He shook his head and headed out of his room, only to open the door to see you standing there, eyes holding an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “Is he coming?” Osamu sighed and led you back to the couch before finishing the tea he forgot about. He placed your cup on the end table next to you and took a seat with his own. “No, I told him to stay at your guy’s tonight. You need a safe space right now to calm down and sort your thoughts. You can stay here as long as you’d like, but I don’t want you to feel trapped, you can leave whenever, if you want to go to your folk’s, hell even our Ma’s place, I’ll drive you there. You just need to focus on you right now ya hear me? And if you don’t ever wanna see my ugly brother again, I’ll help you get a new identity.” You giggled slightly at the last part before you took a sip of your tea, shoulders relaxing. You turned to Osamu and smiled.

“Thank you ‘samu, I really appreciate it. I’m a little more calm right now, I think I’ll go home tomorrow, apologize and get us back on track.” You did a little nod as you said it, but Osamu just furrowed his eyebrows. “Apologize? There is nothing you need to apologize for doll, You were completely justified in your frustration, Atsumu is the one who needs to apologize, not you. Don’t settle just so things will go back to normal, because they won’t.” You sighed sadly, he was right and you knew it. You were falling back to old coping tactics. Your therapist would not be happy with you right now.

“Sorry, you’re right. I’m still gonna go back, hopefully after we’ve both had some sleep we can work it out.” You smiled again, feeling more like yourself. Osamu nodded in agreement and helped you set up in the guest bedroom before turning in. You sighed as you laid in the bed, not used to sleeping by yourself, but the events from the night took its toll, and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

Back in your apartment, Atsumu was having the opposite problem. He laid in your shared bed, staring at the ceiling, did you actually think he was going to hit you, that he meant the things he said? To him, it didn’t seem like a big deal, he was loud when he was angry, and sometimes said things he didn’t mean, which should be obvious, since you knew how much he loved you…right? He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, looking up the museum you worked at. Honestly he wasn’t really paying attention when you told him about the event, he knew it had something to do with your research, which he knew a little about from the nights you’d info dump your findings to him. His eyes widened when he looked at the upcoming events, when he clicked on the date it was scheduled for he winced.

It really was a big deal, curators from all over the country were coming to hear you give a presentation on your recent fieldwork findings, you’d been at this site for the majority, if not all, of your relationship only now having a big discovery others spent their entire lives chasing. There were going to be donors, curators, archaeologists and other anthropologists from all over Japan and other countries as well. You were right, this was a career changer, no, this was a life changing presentation.

Guilt started to seep into his bones as he thought again about what he had said, how he had brushed you off and then got mad at you for voicing your feelings, something that took months for you to be able to do with him. He thought back to when he slammed his hand on the table, the way you flinched, the look in your eyes right before you left. His stomach felt like it dropped out of his body, chest constricting as the guilt flooded him as he kept thinking back to every expression you made, how you were crying when you left, that you were scared of him. He pushed his palms against his eyes as he groaned, how could he be so horrible to you? Osamu was right, about everything. You were the best thing that’s happened to him, and he broke your trust, trust that took so long to build, over missing a practice. He rolled onto his side, pulling one of your pillows against his chest. He inhaled, the scent of your conditioner still lingering, as he tried to think of how he could possibly make it right.

```

The next morning, after a relaxing shower and breakfast, you were ready. Osamu grabbed his keys, ready to drive you back, when there was a knock at the door. You had a feeling on who it was, so you set down your purse and went to sit on the couch, taking a deep breath. After a few moments Osamu came to the doorway, followed by Atsumu, who stood awkwardly for a moment before Osamu spoke to you.

“I need to be at the restaurant, there’s a key on the counter, if you could lock up if you leave that’d be great. Call me if you need anything.” He turned and left, and when you heard the door close you finally met Atsumu’s gaze, smiling slightly in greeting. Neither of you were sure what to say, but after a minute of silence he comes over and sits on the other end of the couch, obviously trying to gauge your reaction to his proximity.

You sighed through your nose, gaze turned to the floor as you fiddled with your hands, trying to sort out your thoughts. You wanted to just apologize and move on, but you knew you had to talk it out, this wasn’t something you could just pretend didn’t happen. You needed to work through this if you wanted this to work. You bit your lip, thoughts running a mile a minute. You were so deep in thought you didn’t realize Atsumu had moved until you felt his hand rest on your forearm. You jumped slightly, startled at the sudden touch and when you looked at Atsumu, who had moved to the place next to you and hovered his hand over you before bringing it back to his lap, guilt evident in his features, eyes raw with emotion.

“(Y/N), I don’t even know where to begin, I fucked everything up and I am so sorry. Sorry for not listening, for brushing you and your achievements off, for making you feel lesser and unimportant, for scaring you, please, you have to know, I would never lay a hand on you, I never meant a single thing I said last night, I was frustrated and let the week get to me, which is no excuse for the way I treated you. I broke your trust, and I’ll spend forever and a month trying to earn it back. You are without a doubt the best thing that has happened to me, and the way I treated you after everything that’s happened, it- it makes me sick. I love you so much, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. But I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, I-I just- I need you to know that I love you, and that I never meant it, I’d never mean it.” His voice cracked at the end, and he wiped his eyes before looking up to meet your gaze. You were crying, biting your lip to keep it in but failing as you took a shuddering breath that turned into a half-sob. His heart broke even more seeing you like this, and he reached out to comfort you before stopping, hand curling back into his chest.

“Can, Can I touch you?” He asked shakily, scared of the answer, shoulders slumping with relief when you nodded and he quickly gathered you into his arms, pulling you into his lap and holding you tight, like if he let you go you’d disappear. You were crying louder now, hands fisted into his sweatshirt. He nuzzled his face into your hair, quietly apologizing over and over, tears starting to fall from his eyes as well, kissing the side of your head.

The two of you stayed like that for what seemed like hours, though in reality it was about 10 minutes. Your sobs had died down, you were just sniffing occasionally, and Atsumu’s eyes had cleared, no longer obstructed by the water wall of tears. He pulled you away from his chest slightly, cupping your cheeks, wiping at the tear tracks staining your face.

“’M sorry, ‘m so sorry. I’ll say it for the rest of my life darlin’, I love you so much and I am so proud of everything you do. I hope that one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you can’t, if you won’t. You mean th’ world t’ me angel, I want nothing more than for you to be happy, for you to feel safe and loved. I promise I will support you better from now on, no matter what. I’ll make good on my promises from all those years ago, I swear.” You nodded at his words, hands coming up to cup his own before one of his moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, stopping right before your lips met, breath mixing as he looked at you for signs of hesitance, of fear.

“Is this okay?” Instead of verbally confirming you closed the short distance, hands gripping his shoulders as your lips moved against his slowly, taking time to enjoy each other. He pulled away after a few moments before kissing your forehead, hugging you tightly once again. “Let’s go home.” You said quietly into his shirt, squeezing his shoulders before standing on shaky legs. He nodded, getting up after you, lacing your fingers together.

Weeks later~~

You smiled nervously at Atsumu as you rose out of your chair, giving him a quick kiss before heading to the stage. You squinted briefly at the bright lights, exhaling and smoothing out your clothes before smiling at the audience as you introduced yourself. You tried to keep your gaze evenly over the crowd, but your eyes kept finding themselves locked with Atsumu, who grinned brightly and gave a thumbs up whenever you did. Your smile grew, nerves slowly dissipating as you lost yourself in your presentation.

Afterwards you answered a few questions from the crowd, thanking them again before heading back to your table. You shook hands with the host as they walked past to continue to the next topic and thanked your tablemates who congratulated you. You snorted at Tsukishima, who said it was a little boring, like he didn’t have a page of notes from the presentation in front of him.

You turned to your boyfriend, smiling as you laced your fingers together. “Wow babe that was amazing! I don’t know what half those words meant but you did great, I’m so proud of you.” You flushed at his praise, squeezing his hand while you kissed his cheek before turning back to the host, who was announcing the next speaker. You don’t know what would’ve happened if you didn’t work things out, and frankly you don’t want to think about it, the two of you are slowly building this back to where they were, but this time your relationship is stronger. You’re happier than you’ve ever been, and that’s what matters.

#My writing #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #atsumu x you #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x you #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x y/n #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #haikyuu imagines

96 notes · View notes

thecrazzykidzz · 3 years

Text

Wrapped In Yellow//Cedric Diggory.

Enemies to lovers-

Request-@pixieflutter

House-Hufflepuff!Female!Reader

Trigger Warning-

🌶 -Degradtion kink,Daddy Kink,Oral (female receiving)

Yeah that should sum it up pretty good haha! Be prepared my smut is not the best this will be my first Harry Potter smut, I’m going to try my best but I’m sorry if it sucks!! Also my first one shot for Harry Potter let’s begin!

•

**Authors POV**

Y/N Y/L/N was always known as the sweet, outgoing, loyal, and kind Hufflepuff. The perfect hufflepuff, some would say. There was always one boy in her house that got on her nerves. The golden boy, Cedric Diggory, He always teased her with his friends. Ever since their first year, Y/N had a massive crush on hufflepuff’s biggest heartthrob. It slowly turned into what she thought was hatred, but really it was the love bug who turned on with degrading.

•

**Y/N POV**

Charms was always my favorite class, Flitwick the very tiny professor. He either liked you or he didn’t, and that was how you felt about him. He surely did like me, always turning in work getting the best grades. Offering to help tutor students with no extra credit needed to do so.

“Ms,Y/L/N, and Mr,Diggory” flitwicks squeaky voice rang out. I stared at the professor wondering why the boy I hated was in the same sentence as my name.

“Stay after class for a bit, I have something to ask the both of you” flitwick said quickly before going to the front of the class.

That whole class I couldn’t seem to focus. I glanced back at Cedric who looked at me and gave me a smirk. Got how that boy got me all worked up.

After class I made my way to Flitwick’s desk. I could hear Cedric’s footsteps approaching from behind me.

“Ah, Ms,Y/L/N, Mr,Diggory”

“Hello Professor” I said making my voice as kind as possible and not disgusted that Cedric Diggory was standing a little to close to me for my liking.

It made my toes lightly tingle and my heat grow wetter, something I was not used to feeling next to the golden boy.

My thoughts were cut off by Flitwick’s voice.

“Mr,Diggory seems to be failing my class, and Ms,Y/L/N is my top pupil, Y/N you wouldn’t mind tutoring Mr,Diggory would you?” Flitwick’s eyes glowed with plead. Probably wanting Cedric to pass the class so he didn’t have to be bothered by Him and his friends rude outburst comments, and little pranks.

“Of course” I said sweetly smiling at Flitwick. “oh thank you dear! You can use my room at 4:00-6:30 today!” Flitwick said swatting his hands telling us as nicely as possible to scram.

As soon as Cedric and I made our way out of the classroom he grabbed my shoulder. “Why the fuck did you agree do you think I wanna be seen with a stupid bitch like you” his voice whispering yelling. I suddenly felt like crying. Something I haven’t done over his words since first and second year.

I forced myself to push the tears deeper into my eyes. With that my Core began to feel like the black lake. “I’ll see you tonight, Diggory” I said before freeing myself and walking to my next class. Cedric standing there in shock I didn’t make a rude comeback.

At 3:59 I walked into Flitwick’s room. Knowing I was early. I liked to be early or on time it felt right. At 4:15 the door swung open. Running to the front desk were I was seated the one and only Cedric Diggory.

“Your late” I mumbled not looking up from the textbook. “Yeah no shit dumb cunt” Cedric said sitting down. My heat growing wet at the sound of his voice no matter what he called me. What was happening to me.

“Shall we start” I said breaking up the silence. Cedric gave me a small nod as I began.

5 minutes later Cedric was looking at me up and down. “What is it Diggory” I said not looking up. “When did you get pretty” he said smirking.

With this I decided to look up at the golden boy. My panties soaked from what that man did to me. “Shut up im just the stupid bitch, and dumb cunt” I said snarky looking back down.

Cedrics big hand caught my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You know you like it” he whispered slowly going down to my neck leaving sloppy open mouth kisses. “Ced-“ I began to mumble out until he found my sweet spot.

I let out a high pitch moan as he began to lightly suck and nibble on my sweet spot. Cedric grabbed his wand and mumbled “silencio” the silencing charm. “So you can do charms” I mumbled out.

“Shut up, don’t be a fucking brat” Cedric mumbled againest my neck giving a harsh nip to my neck, causing me to let out a yelp.

Cedric unbuttoned my shirt leaving me in just my yellow lacey bra. “Such a goody to shoes” Cedric mumbled before slipping my bra off and attacking my breasts. His mouth attached to my left nipple as his right hand kneaded my right breast and nipple.

My moans got more and more desperate. I needed him to touch me where I need him the very most.

“Cedric, please touch me” I pleaded out in a moan.

“That’s not my name slut” he growled.

Words to call lovers ran through my head until I figured what it was.

“Daddy please” I begged.

“Good girl” he said his voice coated in lust, I wonder if he could taste it.

Cedric slid my skirt off along with my matching yellow panties that were basically dripping wet.

“Did I do this?” Cedric questioned running his king finger up and down my slit.

A shiver of pleasure ran up and down my spine, causing me to let out a loud moan.

Cedric stopped rubbing my slit. “Answer me whore” he growled again.

“Yes, you make me so fucking wet daddy” I cried out wanting to feel his touch.

“Mhm thought so” Cedric mumbled before kneeling down with me still on my chair. Cedric quickly attached his mouth to my clit sucking and licking. His index finger traced my entrance.

My chest began to rise and fall faster and faster. My moaning began constant and loud.

I felt the knot in my stomach grow tighter and tighter every thrust of his finger, and every lick of his tongue.

“I’m gonna cum, daddy” I screamed out.

Cedric stopped immediately stopped.

“Why the fuc-“ Cedric cut me off by entering his cock Inside of me.

Cedric was bigger then I thought, not that I thought of his cock.

“You so big, daddy” I choked out feeling my walls stretch around his cock.

“Fuck your so fucking tight” Cedric groaned into the crease of my neck.

As soon as Cedric started to thrust the pain turned to pleasure. Cedric was thrusting at a slow pace not giving me what I needed.

“Faster please daddy” I cried out.

“You sure you can take it” Cedric grunted.

“Please daddy” I begged.

“As you wish my love” Cedric said smirking down at me.

The papers on the desk flew around the room. As Cedric pounded into me. Each thrust the tip of his cock hitting my g spot. “I’m gonna cum, holy shit” I screamed out.

“Me too baby, let go I got you” Cedric whispered in my ear. Groaning, and moaning.

I felt the knot in my stomach burst as I felt Cedric’s hot liquid fill my core.

Cedric helped me put on my clothes and that suprised me.

“You know your mine right?” Cedric said after dressing himself.

I stared at him eyes wide open.

“You are mine” he whispered in my ear.

He grabbed my chin and tilted it up and kissed me slowly. The kiss was passionate like years of love finally came out.

Cedric broke the kiss and wrapped me in his big yellow coat.

I knew this love would be one to last. The boy I hated to the boy I love who would of known.

#fanfic #cedric diggory smut #cedric diggory #harry potter #harry potter smut #hufflepuff #smut #cedric diggory x reader #goblet of fire

105 notes · View notes

stevesharrlngtons · 4 years

Text

picking out the stitches.

roman godfrey x reader

summary: after letha’s death; peter’s departure; shelley’s disappearance; and a brutal fight with subsequent break up with roman; you escape to the empire state for college and a fresh start. though, after thinking you have been given the space to move on with your life, your father’s unexpected death sends you back to hemlock grove. there, you are forced to confront the reason for your pained departure.

word count: 14.1k (oopies)

warning: mentions of an abusive father

a/n: this is a long bitch, with a possible part two (?) if this is enjoyed by you all! (: i hope the length of this makes up for it taking so long lol. also prob ooc roman bc i love him just being soft

please if you read this and like it, know that feedback is greatly appreciated and i’d love to hear any thoughts you have!! also im bad at editing

Tuna, turkey and swiss, BLT.

No option offered sounded particularly tasty. You had come in search of egg salad sandwich, a surprising delicacy from the Hemlock Grove Grocery Deli that you had been craving since your departure months ago. It felt like comfort food, a way to make being back in town bearable.

But the stockboys seemed to be sending you a message: there was no good reason to be back in town, and no sandwich was going to remedy your pain.

“(Y/N)?”

You flinched at the sound of your name as sweat prickled the back of your neck. The last fucking thing you wanted was to be recognized the second you got back into town. Being forced to interact with any of the waspy bitches or rednecks that attended your high school, especially now, seemed like a personal affront punishable with only your meanest of glares and most backhanded of compliments.

But, who you found had called your name was not only a surprise, but a pleasant one. Not a bitch or mouth breather in sight.

“Peter?” Your eyebrows perked up as you said his name, no doubt unable to hide your complete shock at his sudden appearance.

“In the flesh.” He smiled. That same boyish smile that he always gave especially when you needed to see it.

Your body worked on it’s own violation as you shot yourself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug. He thankfully returned the gesture, gripping the fabric of your dress in his fingers to keep you close. Peter pressed his nose to your temple and you buried yourself deep into the crook of his neck. It wasn’t until a voice cleared behind you that the two of you pulled apart.

“Excuse me,” A man holding a wire basket interpreted, seeming less than pleased to have been forced to witness your reunion.

“Sure, after you, sir.” Peter said, theatrically waving the man past.

“Stupid fucker, couldn’t even go through another aisle.” He watched the man leave with a scowl.

“Shut up about inconiquestional people and tell me what the hell you’re doing back in town!” You said with a wide smile while slapping his chest playfully.

“I think that’s a better question suited for me to you, don’t you think? Last I heard you fucked off to N-Y-C.” Peter said, leaning against the display of sandwiches.

“Yeah? And who told you that?”

“Destiny.”

You smirked and rested your shoulder against the display, “She’s got a big mouth.”

“Big mouth? Who cares if she does! New York is a big deal. NYU, even bigger.”

You roll your eyes at the compliment.

“Hey, no, I’m serious! You always were the scholar out of us. Fucking valedictorian while Roman and I barely managed C’s.” He continued.

At the mention of Roman, you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes breaking from Peter’s only long enough for him to see your pain at his name.

“You still haven't answered my question, you know?” You said, trying to seamlessly change the subject, fiddling with the ends of your hair to keep your hands busy.

“Yeah, well, it isn’t a happy answer.”

“Enlighten me anyway.”

Peter gives a heaving sigh, a signature of his, “Lynda got pinched for some shit and was transferred out here... I followed.”

Your heart sank. Lynda had always been exponentially kind and understanding. To you, Shelley and even Roman.

“Shit, Peter. I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?” You placed a comforting hand on his forearm.

“As well as I can given the circumstances. I’m staying with D, so at least that’s good.” He gives a forced smile.

“I’m glad you’re with family at a time like this.” You drop your hand and slouch against the display, matching his relaxed posture.

There was a brief pause between the two of you, before Peter spoke again.

“Usually, when one party enlightens the other, they are obligated to do the same.” He leans in ever so slightly to emphasize his point.

“That is usually the deal, yes.”

“So?”

“My dad croaked a few days ago. Heart attack.”

“Holy shit, (Y/N/N),” Peter interrupted, face falling into a concerned frown.

“No, no. It’s fine. He was a piece of shit,” You shrug.

“Still, he was your dad.”

“Yeah, he was my dad who hit me and my mom and loved booze more than either of us.”

“He still was your dad, (Y/N).” He reiterated.

You purse your lips and sigh.

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to be all fucking weepy about the whole thing.” You say, grabbing a turkey and swiss from the display and pushing off to walk toward the register.

“No one said you had to be,” Peter appealed as he followed behind you, “But don’t let everything get all clogged up in there.”

He motioned to his chest and you roll your eyes, setting your sandwich on the conveyor belt for the cashier.

“I promise you, the moment he is six feet under I will let all my emotions out. Mainly rejoice and relief.” You sent Peter a smile as your sandwich rang up.

“Four forty, even.”

You reach into your purse, but Peter beats you to it. He hands the cashier a crumpled up five dollar bill.

You give him a glare, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did. It’s gonna be my lunch too.” He snatched the sandwich from the bagging area and saunters to the exit, leaving you to gather the nickels and dimes.

Parked in a gravel parking lot looking over the lake, you and Peter sat in the cab of his tow truck. Both eating a half of the mediocre turkey and swiss while sharing a warm cherry Coke from the center console in silence. After a brief session of catch up on your lives over the past few months, you were both happy enough to just sit quietly in each other's company. Simply enjoying the comfort of being in the presence of someone you love.

“You ever hear from him?” Peter spoke up, mouth full of bread and slimy meat.

“Who?” You at least have the decency to cover your mouth as you spoke.

“You know who. Don’t make me say his name, you got all squirly last time.”

You sighed as you finish chewing the food in your mouth, savoring what you could of the cheap flavors as you avoided Peter’s gaze. Once you swallowed, you took a long gulp from the Coke can before answering.

“No. He’s been out of my life since that night. Really prefer to keep it that way, too.” You replied clippedly, not wanting to talk about him any more than necessary.

Peter belows a raspberry in response.

You looked over to glare at him, “What?”

“I just find that hard to believe.”

“That I don’t want to see the man who broke my heart?” You snap.

“No, that Roman has been able to keep his distance from you.”

“I thought we weren’t saying his name.” You abruptly look away and out the windshield once more.

“Apologies.”

“You don’t have to sound so sincere about it.” You scoff.

“What happened between you two, anyway? Before I left I could practically hear wedding bells.”

“Destiny didn’t tell you?” You press your lips together firmly, hoping Destiny had just made up a lie on your behalf to tell her cousin.

“All she said was that you and Roman supposedly got into this huge fight and you left a few days after. Nothing more, nothing less.” He explained.

“Yeah, well huge fight is an understatement.”

“Then what happened?”

You sigh deeply, reclining against the headrest and wrapping your arms around your middle for some misplaced search for security.

“It happened a few days after you skipped town. It was his birthday…”

Music echoed around you as you placed gentle kisses along the expanse of Roman’s neck. You ran your fingers through his hair gently, collecting grease and pomade on your fingertips and under your nails as you did. He had an arm securing you tightly to his side, the other had been holding you too, but he had retrieved it to light a cigarette.

After the traumatic week you two had undergone, you didn’t fight Roman much when he insisted all he wanted to do for his eighteenth birthday was drink, watch a movie and have you sleep over. You were happy he at least let you buy him a cupcake to commemorate the day, but wouldn’t see to any more festivities. He told you that now more than ever wasn’t a time to be merry. You didn’t blame him, no matter how much you wanted to celebrate him today.

So, you let him share his birthday cupcake with you in the bottom of an empty swimming pool and hold you in an uncomfortable lounge chair for as long as he wanted. Fortunately, this was as calm as you’d seen him in days and you hoped that continued; at least until midnight.

Roman lulled his head on top of yours and placed his hand on your hip, making sure every part of you that could be touching was.

The sound of a door opening resounded in the distance and the distinct tap of heels on tile followed. You felt Roman deflate next to you as you both recognized who the sound belonged to.

In sauntered Olivia, in a beautiful floor length gown with a sparkler in hand, painting patterns in the dark with the fire illuminating her wicked smile.

“Happy Birthday, my darling.” She chimed, looking down at the both of you.

You and Roman both shifted under her unwelcome gaze, neither responding. You turned further into Roman’s neck and you felt his fingers press harder into the flesh of your hip.

“It can’t be a party with just the two of you, can it?” Olivia said, dropping the sparkler to lay by her side.

“Well, three’s a crowd. So if you’ll excuse us.” Roman waved his hand that held his cigarette dismissively.

“One is the loneliest number, but two can be just as bad.” Olivia replied in a musical lit.

Again, neither of you respond. You busy yourself fiddling with the collar of Roman’s tank top.

“(Y/N), darling, you do look beautiful tonight.” She turns her attention to you after the silence she received. Something Olivia knew Roman disapproved of her doing.

“Thank you, Mrs. Godfrey.” You reply politely, glancing at her briefly before going back to Roman’s shirt.

“Is that the dress Roman bought you some time back? I remember hearing you tell Shelley about it over dinner.” Olivia continued.

“What is it that you want, again?” Roman snapped, making you flinch at his volume increase.

“I have a surprise for you. In the attic.” She gestured using what’s left of the dying sparkler at the ceiling.

“Can’t it wait?” Roman said, wholly disinterested.

“No, it cannot, Roman. It is your birthday surprise and I would like to give it to you now.” Her voice became more stern by the word.

Roman moves to look at you and you do the same. His eyes are inviting you to a conversation Olivia isn’t privy too. An almost psychic communication you’ve had together since the day you first met.

Do we go with her? Or wait her out until she leaves?

Just see what she wants. Once she’s shown you we can get back to doing whatever you want.

Roman pursed his lips before letting out a dramatic sigh, “Fine.”

He got up from the chair before offering you his hand to help you up.

Olivia watched as you both climb the ladder out of the empty pool and onto the landing.

“Let’s get this over with.” Roman gave his mother a firm glare.

He placed a hand on the small of your back and started for the door when Olivia stopped him.

“I’m afraid, this gift is for Godfrey eyes only.” She looked at you with weakly masked distaste.

You felt Roman’s fingers once again probe into your skin, “She is a Godfrey.”

“Not in name or blood.”

“But she will be so it doesn’t matter.” Roman retorted, harshly.

This wasn’t the first time he had alluded to your future together, and at the time, you didn’t think it would be the last.

“Well, she isn’t yet, is she? When she is, then she will be welcome to engage in all Godfrey birthday present exchanges.” Olivia sneered.

“There is nothing you could show me that she can’t-” You placed a gentle hand on Roman’s chest before he could continue.

This fight certainly wasn’t worth it. Especially not over a fucking birthday present.

“It’s fine. I’ll wait in your room.” You offered.

“Off the premise.” Olivia chimed in curtly.

“Excuse me?” Roman spat.

“(Y/N) can go home and see you tomorrow. This gift needs much explanation and discussion.”

“This is beyond fucking ridiculous!”

“Ro, it’s OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smile up at him.

You didn’t want to leave him. Not now, not ever, but never with Olivia.

“I’ll see you later tonight.” Roman stressed.

“Tomorrow would be-”

“Let’s just call it a see-you-soon, then?” You cut off Olivia, never taking your eyes off Roman.

He just tightens his jaw, so tight you’re afraid he might crack a filling. But he nods.

“Fine. I’ll call you.” He says. And he says it with such sincerity that you know without a doubt he will, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He kisses your forehead and you kiss his cheek, not overly keen on giving him the proper goodbye kiss you wanted to infront of Olivia. As you walk away, you spare Olivia a last glance and the look on her smug face is one so self satisfied it made your stomach churn.

Roman never called you that night, or even the next morning. The calls you gave him were left unanswered; texts and voicemails the same.

You would have called Peter, Shelley or Letha to see if they’d heard from Roman at a time like this, but all were depressingly dead ends.

Under the circumstances that you left under the night before, you took it upon yourself to drive to the Godfrey residence and find out what the hell was going on yourself. You didn’t trust Olivia as far as you could throw her, and you didn’t put any heinous act past her.

Your worry beat out any common sense you had to stay away and wait for Roman to come to you.

When you arrived and knocked on the door, several times to be exact, it seemed no one was home. Though, both cars were in the driveway and you knew neither Roman or Olivia would take a cab anywhere. With balled fists you slammed against the wood of the door, kicking your foot against it as well for good measure. You had been in your knocking rhythm so long, when the door finally opened you stumbled forward.

You caught yourself on the knob and looked up to see who answered.

Roman stood above you with expressionless features and down turned lips.

“What?” He asked.

“Don’t ‘what’ me! ‘What’ you! You never called and you haven’t been answering.” You said, straightening yourself out.

“You’re not my fucking keeper,” Roman scoffed and turned his back to walk down the hallway.

Your face screwed up in confusion as you stepped over the threshold into the mansion and slammed the door, then followed him through the house.

“Excuse me? What is up with you?” You exclaimed.

Roman had stopped in the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator while trying his best to seem unbothered with tense shoulders.

“Nothing is up. I just didn’t want to call you.” He spoke into the crisper drawer.

“Since when?”

“Since now.”

“What the fuck did Olivia show you? Must have been really messed up for you to be acting like this.” You let a humorless laugh through your nose.

“Or maybe I was just happy to be rid of you and now that you’re back, I am pissed.” He slammed the door to the fridge, its contents rattling inside.

Your surprised expression hadn’t wavered as Roman glared at you, his eyes dull and unfamiliar.

“Ok, so, yesterday you’re talking about marrying me, and today I am some parasite you’re happy to be rid of? Is that right?” You took a step toward him.

“I was never going to marry you, you delusional whore.” His first real hit, chipping away at your weak armour. The armour he had weakened himself with his love and care for years.

“If I’m whore, I’d hate to know what that makes you.” You spat.

“It makes me the fucking billionaire who mistakenly kept around some boring girl with a mediocre cunt.” His second hit.

“Wow. You’re right, Roman. I am a whore, but I must be an idiot too! To stay with such a man who calls my pussy mediocre when he can’t even fuck me right.” You provoked.

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah? Why don’t you? Because for as long as I can remember I’ve been faking my orgasms just to get your pathetic little prick out of me. Is that why you cry after Roman? Because you know about that weak excuse of a dick between your legs?”

You were being cruel and frankly, spinning lies. But he was hurting you and you wanted to hurt him back.

“No, I cry thinking about all the other guys you let between your legs. Maybe that’s why daddy hits you, huh? Hoping that one day he hits you hard enough to rattle that whore brain so hard it kills you? So he won’t have to live with the shame? Or maybe he hopes if he hits you enough you’ll finally drop to your knees and show him that head everyone in town talks about.” The last hit, and the one that broke you.

You close the last few steps between you and strike him as hard as you can muster across the face, cranking Roman’s head to the side with the impact. The slap rings loudly through the room, so do your sniffles.

“How can you be so cruel? How could you ever say that to me?” You scream through tears.

“Just speaking the truth.” Roman said smoothly, his head still rotated.

“What is going on with you? What happened last night?”

“I came to my senses, that’s what happened. I realized that I was sick of wasting all my time on a miserable little bitch when I could be out fucking real women.” He says through gritted teeth, “Real women who don’t need so much tedious validation from me.”

“Are you done?” You snapped, your throat thick with tears.

“With you. Yes.”

You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Malicious words spun in your head, ready to fire off your tongue and tear him apart, but you knew you would never be able to get them out in one piece. You would stutter and sob and shake and it would give Roman even more satisfaction at seeing you crumble. So, you turned on your heel as fast as you could, holding your hand over your mouth to silence your cries and fled the Godfrey home.

“Shee-it.” Peter said, looking sick.

“Shee-it, indeed.” You nod.

“So, that was it?”

“That was it. I was there barely five minutes when it was all said and done… then I went home, cried my stupid eyes out and packed my shit. It was always the plan for me to do online courses and stay here with him, but, y’know, things changed... So, I left.”

“I know that feeling.” Peter says, giving the river a thousand mile stare.

“I know you do. Let’s not forget you abandoned me, too.” You said, far more harshly than intended. The topic of the break up having brought old wounds to the surface.

A pained expression crossed his face, “(Y/N)... Fuck, I’m sorry. I am. I just… after Letha,”

“You don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I snapped. I forgave you the minute you left, for the most part, anyway.” You shrugged.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You sigh and look over at him, “If I had been in your shoes I would have hightailed it the second I could have.”

He offers you a sad smile, “But you needed me, and I left.”

“It’s really OK. Because you’re here now. And it all worked out.”

“New York that good, then?”

“Better than good. I’m alone and broke-.”

“And that’s better than good?” He chuckles.

“Surprisingly, yeah. I’m learning and figuring things out on my own. I’m finding things that make me happy without having to worry about anything else. It’s just nice.” You smile as you speak.

“That makes me happy. Man, it really does. All I ever wanted for you was happiness. I thought I had left you with the silver you had left of it.” Peter says, resting his temple to the head rest.

“You did what you had too and so did I. I’m sure Roman did too, in his own twisted way,” You reply, “I don’t want to focus on the past anymore. I am purley looking forward to the future from now on.”

Peter dropped you off at home after hours of milling around the streets of Hemlock Grove in his truck. You kept asking if he had to go back to work, but he would dismiss your concern each time. Telling you that he was spending time with you and he’d worry about towing later. As much as you knew you should pressure him to take you home, you were happy for the company, especially when that company was Peter.

His reappearance in your life was unexpected, but wholly accepted and appreciated. You didn’t know the next time you’d be able to see him again, so you were going to enjoy his companionship while you had it.

Hopping out of the truck and brushing residual crumbs from the turkey sandwich from your dress, you shut the door. The window rolled down and Peter leaned over the console to look at you.

“Don’t be a stranger.” He smiles at you and you can’t help but return it.

“Never again.”

“If you have time, come by Destiny’s before you head back up north. I know she’d love to have dinner.” He proposes and your smile widens.

“I’d love that, I’ll keep you posted.” You start to back up toward your front door.

“And let me know if you need anything, anything at all. I know losing someone is tough.” His smile falls slightly as the funeral is mentioned again.

You knew Peter was worried about you and he had good intentions, but he didn’t know your father like you did. You were going to this thing for appearances and to make your grandmother happy, if you had had a choice you would have rather stayed at school.

“Got it. Thank you, Peter.”

You wave him off and you watch as he double takes to look at you until he is out of sight, only then did you enter your house.

The house isn’t much and it wasn’t the home you grew up in. When your mother finally left your father, she promptly moved you both into a smaller place on the west side of Hemlock Grove that was better suited for your new family dynamic.

It was a dated burgundy one story, with bland beige carpets and no overhead lighting in the bedrooms, but with two bathrooms. That was helpful down the line when your mother began dating again and her multiple suitors would stay for weeks at a time. You never wanted to be alone with any of them, so that meant crossing the boundary into her room to use the en suite was always out of the question.

Your bedroom was somewhere you always found solace and comfort, even now it felt more like home than anywhere in the world. It had a small excuse of a bay window that looked out over a small and shallow creek. One of your mother’s more involved boyfriends had built you a window bench years before underneath it, upholstered in red velvet. You had run your fingers over the soft fabric so many times, certain places were now rubbed raw and threadbear.

Roman used to sit on your bed while you sat on the bench, reading to him from a litany of novels, some for pleasure and some for assignments. He’d look at you and tell you the light from the window haloed you like an angel. You’d tell him he was just talking out of his ass to get you to stop reading and fool around. Then Roman would smirk and shrug, like he wasn’t sure who was more right. His memory seemed to be etched into every detail of your bedroom, unfortunately.

There was the small heart he had carved into your headboard with an unclicked pen, your initials carved around it. There was your small Ikea vanity, that was stained with nail polish from the time Roman insisted he could do your nails better than you could. There was your closet, just big enough to hold you both inside; where you would steal kisses when you first started to sneak him into your room at night. There was the faded paint on the wall in the shape of a rectangle, where a picture frame of you and Roman at your first homecoming together had once been. There was your fucking duvet cover, that you and Roman would hide underneath on bright mornings. Where he’d hold you and kiss you softly, whispering sweet affections until the muggy air between you became thick and he’d push your noses up over the edge of the blanket to take in giggling gulps of breath.

Roman Godfrey had left painful reminders of himself everywhere. There were too many for you to erase fully. His memory was like a Hydra, repress a recollection of his and two more would pop into your mind in its place.

Now, all the bench held your small suitcase that you had packed early this morning for your short trip down to Pennsylvania. Just some toiletries, a few changes of clothes, a black cocktail dress and a few textbooks. Just because your father died didn’t mean your school work would lighten because of it.

While it wasn’t very late, you had been up early to catch your train and hadn’t expected to be out all day with Peter. You excused your premature exhaustion and decided it was best to take a shower, have a snack and then go to bed. Tomorrow was to no doubt try your nerves, so a full night's rest was likely your best option.

After your shower, you slipped into a pair of pajamas and went down the hall to see if your mother had left you any suitable food. She was still on vacation with her current boyfriend and wouldn’t be able to make it back until Monday, a full day after you were set to leave. So, all you could hope was that there was something edible left in the pantry.

Tussling your damp hair in your hands, you padded through the kitchen to try and make something with the odds and ends your mother had in stock.

As you settled on a half eaten bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa, there was a knock at the door. Your mother’s car was missing from the driveway and anyone who would drop by unannounced knew she was out of town. Assuming it was a solicitor or a package delivery, you ignored it and continued on with your pre-bed snack. But the knocking didn’t let up.

Begrudgingly, you made your way to the door in the hopes of shooing off whoever was bothering you. Though, when you opened it, you debated simply closing the door like it nothing had happened. To just shut the door tight and pretend that you hadn’t seen who was standing on your doorstep. All six feet four inches of him.

With his back to you and a large bouquet of roses in hand, Roman glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open. He looked about as startled as you felt when he laid eyes on you.

“(Y/N).” He blurted out, his body swiveling like an owl to face the same direction as his head.

“Roman.” You gave him a forced smile, cursing that you had lost your opportunity to run and hide.

“I, uh, well, wow. I, these are for your mother,” Roman whipped out the bouquet from behind him, “I heard about your dad. I just wanted to see how she was holding up. I know they aren’t close or anything, but y’know, it’s still the father of her child.”

You took the flowers from him carefully, making sure to avoid where his fingers lay on the stems.

“She’s not here, but thanks. I’ll make sure to let her know you stopped by.” You continued your kind facade before moving to shut the door.

But Roman was quicker as he placed a large hand on the wood to keep it ajar.

“I’m sorry for you too, you know? I know how it feels to lose a father. So, I’m sorry.” He said, like he was trying to keep you in his company as long as possible.

“Wish my dad would have eaten a bullet when I was a kid. You got lucky.” You joke, once more trying to shut the door.

And Roman continued to keep it open.

“Well, I know things ended… bad- But! I’m still here if you need me. For anything. Have all the preparations been taken care of?” He asked.

“Yeah, my grandma and grandpa took care of it. Nothing to worry about. But thanks, Roman.”

Roman’s eyes widened and his mouth puckered, the way he always did when he had a million things to say and no idea how to say them.

You began to notice his attire as he loomed over you, with no seeming intention of leaving you or your front stoop alone.

He wore a thick winter coat over a black three piece suit, tailored to perfection. His hair was parted on the right and smoothed down with gel. It certainly wasn’t your favorite look on him, but your input hardly mattered anymore. He wore Oxford dress shoes that were spotless and without a crease. You realized just then that he must have come right from The White Tower to bring the flowers to your mother, and these were his work clothes. These were the clothes and fifty dollar haircut of a fresh faced CEO.

You had known that he was set to secede the throne of Godfrey Industries once he turned eighteen, but you never gave it much thought after you moved to New York. The Roman who haunted your dreams and took residence in your thoughts was always your Roman. The boy who wanted to smoke and dance and kiss and laugh. Not a business tycoon out for blood.

“I didn’t know you would be in town. I would have stopped by.” He said, finally finding words to give him a reason to stay.

“You already have.”

“I know, but I would have made it more deliberate. More to see you and not to just give my condolences to you mother.” Roman explained, his hand still on the door.

You snort, “Yeah, well I don’t know why you’re giving her flowers anyway. She doesn’t like you. Not after I told her everything.”

“Yeah, uh, I didn’t know that.” He laughs uncomfortably, finally taking a step away and relieving your door of his hostage.

“Well, it was nice of you to come by. I’ll see you around, Roman.” It was clear from your tone that this incommodious conversation was over.

Though, Roman still was outwardly ignoring your brusque attitude, “Could I come in? I would love to catch up for a moment? For old times sake?”

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea.”

“I won’t be long, I promise.” He bargained

You watched him for a long moment, debating on what to do. On one hand, you craved his presence. You craved him after just one sighting and wanted him to come in, to talk, to listen, to heal. Because like you said to Peter in the car earlier, you did believe that Roman had done what he had for a reason, it was just no doubt a fucked up and selfish one. You couldn’t hate him forever, you didn’t want to. It would destroy you before it did any good.

On the other, all you could do was hear his voice echoing in your mind, explaining his disgust for you.

But, you wanted to look to the future. You wanted to free yourself of the burden of grudges and hatred. You wanted to forgive Roman, the best you could, and leave him and his faults to fester in the past while you moved on with your life.

So, you pushed the door open wider with the tips of your fingers and walked back to the kitchen, while Roman eagerly followed.

“I’ll have to find every vase in the house for these,” You quietly joked.

“I could buy a big vase to hold them tomorrow and send it over if you’d like?” He was following closer than you would have liked as you searched the cabinets for vases and empty jars.

“No, it’s alright. I think I’ll like how eclectic they’ll look in mismatched glasses.” You said, “And then I could put them all around the house. It’ll be a nice surprise for my mom when she gets home.”

You undid the thick satin ribbon holding the bouquet together and found a pair of scissors to cut off the ends.

“Want me to fill these with water?” Roman asked, nodding to the empty vases.

“If you don’t mind.”

Roman nodded, shedding his wool jacket and blazer, depositing it on a chair. Then, rounding the island to stand next to you to begin filling each receptacle from the sink.

He was closer to you now than he had been in months. You could smell his woody cologne that clung to his skin, mixed with cigarette smoke and the night air. He must have been driving with the top down. You hated that only his scent could send your heart into somersaults and make your hands quiver with need. All you could think about with him in such a proximity was looking up into his green eyes and him looking down into your (Y/E/C) ones. Looking down at you with that stupid fucking smirk. Then with that smirk, Roman would place a hand on your cheek and gently press it to your lips and you would be in heaven.

Anything Roman did to you was heaven.

Expect when he was hurting you. Which you had to remind yourself, he very much did.

“So, where’s your mom?” Roman asked, placing a mason jar next to faux crystal vase.

“In Florida with her new boyfriend.” You commented.

“Yeah, I heard she was seeing someone.”

“You know if he’s any good?”

“Nah, just that she was seeing someone. I keep an ear to the ground to make sure she’s doing alright.” Another glass filled.

“You don’t have to do that, Roman.” You paused cutting stems for a moment to glance up at him.

He was already looking at you.

“I know. I want to. It’s the least I can do.”

You hold eye contact for a few beats, Roman’s eyes boring into yours in that hyponic way that always left you weak in the knees.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” And you both went back to your tasks at hand.

It was obvious that you were more than willing to work in silence, and it was clear that Roman wasn’t.

“So… how’s NYU?” He prompts.

“Good. I really like it.”

“Enjoying your studies?”

“Very much.”

“And the city? Is it treating you alright?”

“Yes, I think after I graduate I’ll stay for a while.”

Roman only hums in reply. Like that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well.”

“Thank you.”

The conversation lulls as the sound of water and sheers fill the room.

Roman is chewing his cheek and bobbing his head, and you know he won’t let up his chatter anytime soon.

“I’ve been working at The Tower. I took over a few months ago.” He says, eyes darting to you like he was looking for praise.

“Oh,” You reply like you hadn’t already figured it out, “How’s that going?”

“Fine. I mean, it’s a lot of work. A lot of stress, but I’m glad I’m doing it.” He sounds unconvincing as he rambles on about Godfrey Industries and Pryce’s lab while you focus on the flowers.

“Do you ever wonder what you would be doing if you hadn’t been told your entire life that you would take over Godfrey?” You ask, somewhat out of the blue.

Roman stops talking abruptly, his hands pausing under the tap.

“Not really.”

“Isn’t there anything else you would have wanted to do? Like in a dream scenario in a perfect world?” You elaborate.

Roman seems unsettled by your questioning, like these were things no one had ever asked him. Things he had never even asked himself.

“I think in a dream scenario, I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams. And I already am, so why waste time dreaming?” You can tell he isn’t even satisfied with his answer.

You don’t reply, leaving the subject where it lay in the air to go back to working in silence.

“So...” Roman begins again, refusing to let the conversation die down.

“You seeing anyone?” Roman tries to sound blase, but you know this question lays heavy on him.

You barely withhold a scoff as you set your scissors down to look at him once more.

He double takes in your direction, not wanting to look at you for fear of your answer, “What?”

“I’m just surprised you held off this long without asking the question we both know you wanted to ask the second you saw me.”

“Not really an answer…” he murmurs.

“Not really your business.” You counter.

“So there is someone?” You could hear a twinge of anger in his voice.

“Not that it is any of your business, because I want to stress that it really isn’t, but no. I am not seeing anyone.”

“Oh.” Roman’s lip twitches into a smile that he tries to conceal from you.

“Yeah, oh.” You roll your eyes and finish with your clippings and begin to arrange the rose into glasses.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Roman, with his work now over, turns to look down at you, a smirk on his lips.

“Ask you what?”

“If I’m seeing anyone.”

“I don’t care, Roman.”

“Really?” He leans closer to you.

“Well, what constitutes seeing someone, to you? A one night stand? A hooker? An actual multiple date relationship? What is your definition?” You jeer.

“How would you define it?”

“Different from you.”

“Oh come on,” He pokes, “Tell me.”

He was becoming far too chummy with you for your taste.

“I guess I would define it as multiple dates.”

“By that definition, then no. I’m not seeing anyone.”

“But if I defined it by hookers and one night stands?” You inquired.

Roman doesn’t answer.

You can’t help but laugh, “And you said I was a whore.”

The air between you changes, then. It was calm, if not slightly awkward before then, but now it felt tense and uncomfortable.

“(Y/N), I…”

“Don’t.” You reply before he can say anything else.

“But I want to say this, I need to.” Roman persists, reaching out to grab your shoulder.

You shrug off his advance quickly and take a few steps back from him. Roses and vases completely forgotten.

“I need to apologize to you.”

“You need to apologize to me for what, Roman?”

“For that night, what I said-!” Roman starts.

“No. What I mean is, are you apologizing because you’re actually sorry? Because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say to me? Or because you want what you did off your conscious?” You raise a single eyebrow.

“Are you kidding? I’m saying this because I am fucking sorry! I hate what I said to you, it fucking eats me up!” Roman throws his hand in the air as he yells.

“So it is option C.” You replied.

“Jesus fucking- no! It’s not! It’s A! It’s fucking A. You think I wanted to do what I did? Huh? You think I wanted you to leave?”

“Yes, I did. I do.”

“Then fuck you if you think that. Fuck you if you think that I wanted to say all those things. Maybe you don’t really know me at all.” Roman sneers.

“I already concluded that.”

He scoffs.

“Is this why you wanted to come in? Force me into conversation? Ask me if I’m dating anyone, give me a half assed apology and insult me?” You crossed your arms.

“No! No, that’s not why I asked to come in.” Roman shot back.

“Then why?”

“Because I fucking missed you, alright? I fucking missed you and I needed to be near you, even if only for a moment.”

Roman’s voice echoed in the kitchen, his words hanging in the air and ringing in your ears. You could hear them dance in your mind and slide down your back with a chill, taunting you and making your emotions tear in a million different directions.

“Roman, I think it’s time for you to leave.” You say, running your tongue over your teeth.

“No! I’m not fucking leaving. Tell me you don’t miss me too.” Roman took a step toward you as he ran a hand through his slicked down hair, ruining it’s perfection.

“I have to get up early, so I just really think you should go.”

“(Y/N), tell me you don’t miss me and I’ll leave right now. You’ll never see me again, I swear.”

You don’t respond, just cross your arms over your chest. You rub your hands over the skin of your arms, peaking your fingers beneath your shirtsleeves and gripping the fabric tightly.

“Just tell me.”

You meet his gaze as Roman closes the gap between the two of you. He was close enough for you to feel his breath on your skin and the warmth he radiated. An unwarranted chill set through you.

All hope of forgetting the past and moving on was gone, you didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was for Roman to leave. You wanted him to leave so you could wrap yourself in blankets and cry until you couldn’t see anymore.

“Roman, just go.” You whispered, your vocal chords straining to even do that.

“It’s because you can’t say that you don’t.” Roman raised a hand a single finger tracing the features of your face and causing your eyes to drift shut.

He traced your orbital bone and the angle of your nose and your eyebrow and ear. He traced your jaw and your chin and the shape of your ear and stopped to caress your lips.

With each swoop of his finger tip, he was erasing hurt and anguish and pain. He was soothing you and giving you an old form of intimacy that you had craved. He was regaining his sense of self in your mind, reminding you that he could act like he had before that night. He was twining his roots back into your mind.

When his finger finally stopped, you opened your eyes and saw tears had gathered in Roman’s. They were threatening to breech from his lash line as he stared at you with a drumming heart.

“Tell me why you hurt me first.”

And Roman dropped his hand and said nothing for a long moment.

“It’s a long story.” He replies, sniffling loudly through his nose.

“I’ve got time.”

“It’s not pretty.”

“I don’t care.”

You had moved to the dining room for Roman’s story. You both sat on opposite ends of your mother’s old mosaic table that you had both eaten many meals at. It was covered in vintage tiles and you picked at the surrounding grout as you listened to him. You ground your fingernails between the titles, filing them into powder as Roman told you about his birthday and everything that had happened since the night you left him.

Of Letha. Of the child. Of the razor blades embedded into his arms. Of his mother’s tongue. Of the bloodlust.

Of the loss.

“This is some fucking Twilight bullshit.” You said once Roman had gone quiet.

“This isn’t fucking funny, (Y/N).” Roman replied, bouncing his knee and pinching his chin.

“No, it’s not fucking funny at all, Roman. Not even a bit, but it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.” You snort a laugh from your nose.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Oh, I believe you. After all that shit with Peter, of course I believe you. Doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.”

Roman raises his eyebrows in understanding with a slight nod.

“So, what? You saying all that shit to me was because you thought you were going to suck me dry, or something?”

“Stop making jokes.” He growled.

“I’m being fucking serious, Roman! What was it?” You stood from your chair to impose over him.

“You deserved better. It would have been too much for you.”

“Oh, don’t be such a martyr, Roman!” You fumed, “Since when have you ever got to decide what was good and what was bad for me?”

“You don’t understand!” Roman pushed up from his chair with such force it tumbled to the floor, “I could barley fucking handle this, OK? I had been living a lie, I had become a monster overnight! I was fucking scared for you- scared for me. What I could do-”

His voice began to quiver and his palms shook as he wiped his clammy palms on his slacks.

“You would either have left me or I would have killed you. I don’t doubt that for a second, and I couldn’t lose anyone else. Not after Letha, not after Peter and Shelley. I just couldn’t.”

“So, pushing me away was the answer?” You asked.

“At the time, yes.”

You just shook your head, and collapsed back into your chair.

“I did it because I loved you.” Roman said, tears streaking his flushed cheeks.

“Stop, Roman...”

“I fucking loved you so much so I made you leave. I fucking love you more than anything.”

He spoke like he was taking his last breath and collapsed to his knees like a dying man, his bones smacking loudly against the linoleum as he crawled to you, tears still leaking from his eyes.

“You have to believe that I’m sorry. I am, I am, I am.”

Roman rested his head on your lap as he wept, his hands clutching your calves.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think or speak. All your mind could comprehend was Roman’s deep and encompassing sadness and his wayward soul.

You could barely grasp the story he told, so it was unimaginable to you how it must have felt to live it. Your heart ached for him so profoundly.

Of course you didn’t agree with what he had done to you, not for a moment. He had resorted to cruelty out of fear and you hated it. It was inexcusable.

But, you folded yourself in half and covered his body with yours anyway, and let Roman cry in your lap. You let him cry out the fear and sadness and the exhaustion he had felt these past months.

You had let Roman cry himself dry before escorting him to the door. He held your hand on the way and you didn’t stop him. When you reached the door, Roman was the one to open it and step out into the cold Pennsylvania night. Though, his hand stayed intertwined with your own as he walked out onto your porch.

“What time is the funeral?” He asked.

“10 AM.” You replied.

His skin seemed to glow against the night sky, his milky complexion contrasting beautifully to the dark nature behind him.

“I’ll be there.”

You shook your head, but squeezed his hand, “You don’t have to, really. It’s going to be long and boring.”

“(Y/N),” He looked at you with a crisp sincerity, “I’ll be there.”

You didn’t know what to say, because you weren’t entirely sure what you should say. You wanted to beg him not to come and make a spectacle at his attendance. You wanted to beg him to come and hold your hand and ward off the demons your father had sewn into your psyche.

“Please, Roman, it’s not a big deal. I swear. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

He pursed his lips back at you, like he was deciding if arguing with you on the matter was really worth it. Or if he would win or not. In the end, he said nothing. Just nodded and glanced over to his bright red Jaguar in the driveway.

When Roman looked back to you, you both knew a goodbye wasn’t needed. Your love-telepathy coming back just for a moment to bid each other adidu for the night. An intimacy you didn’t even know you missed until now.

Roman was the first to step away, pulling your hands apart as he did. You felt each finger detangle from his own, until your pinkies were the only things tethering you to each other. When they detached, your hand fell listlessly to your side and Roman watched you intently as he walked to his car, got in, and pulled from your drive away. Only looking away when he finally drove into the night.

You smoothed the dress over your hips as you smiled politely at guests entering the church. They offered you watery smiles and condolences as they spread out into the pews.

You wanted to spit in their faces and scream. Scream and sink your nails into your skin and tell them that he had painted bruises on your skin and installed his hatred for you into your heart before you were old enough to know it was wrong.

He wasn’t a good man. He was far from it.

But no one who was crying tears for him and shaking your hand knew this, and if they did they didn’t care. He was good at hiding what he did, what he had become.

You felt like your head was in a fish bowl with the more people who entered. Their faces blurring and distorting before you, their words muffled and useless. You began just nodding at everyone’s words, refusing to listen to anything else they had to say about Heaven and God’s good will. You wished you had a good excuse to leave and never come back.

It wasn’t until someone wheeled in the casket that you found your escape from the line of mourners and made your way outside. Because the second you laid eyes on the box of shiny mahogany, your stomach dropped to your feet and bile threatened to spill from your lips.

The man you had hated your entire life, the one who had hurt you, the one who struck you, the one who had belittled you, the man who hurt your mother. That man was dead. He was in that fucking box, seperated from you and the living by a few inches of wood.

That man was your father and he was supposed to love you and now he was filled with stuffing and had waxy skin covered in blush and a heart that would never beat again. A mouth that was sewn shut and would never speak again. To never yell, to laugh, to tell you he loved you.

It was over.

Then why were you so sad?

Maybe Peter was right... maybe you’d even tell him.

As you made your way outside, you sucked in as much fresh air as your lungs could take. You let the cold air chill your exposed skin and the grey skies calm your overstimulated senses. While gulping in the breeze and pressing your fingernails to your palms to ground yourself, you gazed out over the parking lot. It was then, that you shed your first tears of the day.

Because there, all in black leaning against his car was Roman Godfrey, looking right back at you.

He’d come.

Because he cared.

Because he loved you.

You didn’t think twice as he ran down the church steps as fast as your heels could take you to him, needing to feel him. Roman did the same, rushing across the asfalte to you, wrapping you in his arms immediately as you collided with his chest.

“You came,” You sobbed into his button down, “You came, you came, you came.”

“Of course I did.” He cooed, nuzzling close to you.

“I needed you and you knew and you came.”

“I’ll always come, even when you don’t call.”

As you both went back to the church, Roman stood with you to greet people coming in. His hand on your lower back and his grandiose stature and expression keeping people from dawdling too long to speak with you.

The service was bleak and full of lies, but you mustered through it without a scoff or outburst for your grandparents sake. Roman sat next to you the entire time, his arm over your shoulder and his temple resting against your head. He’d occasionally place a gentle kiss to your hairline or stroke his fingers over your arm as a reminder that he was with you.

And you loved him for it.

When it was all over and your father’s casket was being rolled away, everyone dispersed. Some to follow the hearse to the graveyard, some to just go home. You and Roman stayed in your seats. You had decided you didn’t want to see your father put in the ground. Not because he didn’t deserve it, but because you couldn’t handle it. You weren’t sure exactly all the reasons why, maybe Peter would know the answer to that, too.

You both waited until no one was left in the church, just watching the sun gleam through the stained glass windows at the ceiling and enjoying each other's company.

“You alright?” Roman asked once he was sure everyone was gone.

“I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out, I guess.” You said with a half hearted shrug.

“It’s OK. You have time.”

You gave a nod before leaning closer to him, resting your head underneath his own, letting Roman sit his chin on your crown.

“I thought I would be overjoyed when this day finally came… but I’m not. I’m not really happy and I’m not really sad. I’m just here.”

“I think that’s just fine.” Roman replied, rubbing gentle up and down your arm.

“Thank you for being here.” You remove yourself from under his chin to look at him, “It would have been so much worse without you.”

Roman offered you a soft smile and placed his unoccupied hand on your cheek.

You placed your own hand over his and shut your eyes, reveling in his soft touch.

It was so quiet and all you could hear was the sound of your heart in your ears and Roman’s rhythmic breathing.

“What now?”

“I’m not sure,” You open your eyes to see he’s already looking at you, “Where are you going?”

“Wherever you are.”

You smile, “Then take me there.”

As you walked through Roman’s front door, you tried to hide a frown. The old Godfrey mansion had been so intricate and full of character. With crown molding and warm golds and rich browns, and history in every nook and cranny. Roman’s new home… it was sterile and bland and grey. It felt cold even with the hum of the radiator. It felt large and imposing, much like it’s owner. It was the type of home that echoed with loneliness.

“So, what do you think?” Roman asked from where he stood close behind you.

“I like it,” You said, “It’s very…”

“You hate it.”

You turned to face him and he was looking at you fondly.

“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.”

He nods and takes a step forward, “Yeah, I sort of knew you wouldn’t like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You always loved the old house. Said it felt like you were in a victorian novel.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his memory, “And you always hated it.”

“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” He grins at you and you can’t help but smile back at him.

“So, you decided when you moved out you’d make your new place the antithesis of it?”

“Something like that. Anything to erase the memory of my mother.” Roman says this with the cadence of a joke, but his eyes darken at the mention of Olivia.

“I can’t say I blame you.” You reply before he quickly changes the subject.

“Have a seat and I’ll make us both a drink,” He says, gesturing toward his large loveseat in the living room.

You do so, and as you sit down, you admire him standing over the wet bar. He had shed his blazer from his suit on the kitchen table, and through the fabric of his button down (an expensive silk blend from the looks of it) you could so the movement of his broad shoulders and the expanse of the muscles in his back.

The memory of running your hands across the peaks and valleys of his back stuck you. The memory of his smooth skin under your palms made your fingers burn with yearning and twitch with need to reacquaint yourself with the velvet that was Roman Godfrey’s skin.

Roman had finished making your drinks. Both crimson in crystal tumblers. He walked to you and handed you the beverage, which you accepted with a thank you. As you took your first sip of your drink, you couldn't help but smile as Roman sat down next to you on his couch.

“Vodka cranberry?”

“Like I’d forget your favorite drink,” He says, smiling against the rim of his tumbler, “Well, second favorite. I don’t really have the ingredients for a Long Island iced tea.”

“I think this works better under the circumstances, anyway. Drinking a Long Island iced tea after a funeral feels a little morbid.”

“Yeah, but your dad would’ve hated that you were drinking one.” Roman pointed out.

You chuckled, because he was right. Your father hated drinks where the alcohol was masked by chasers and sugar. He deemed them feminine and embarrassing for anyone to drink, ridiculing anyone (no matter their gender) if they ordered one.

“That is true,” You take a pull from your glass, “He would have hated that you went to his funeral, too. Because, well he hated you.”

Roman gives a wide smirk, “I can’t say that doesn't bring me some joy.”

You could count on one hand the number of times your father met Roman during the years you dated. Though, everytime he had, he made his distinct dislike for your boyfriend overwhelmingly obvious. He thought of Roman like most other people in town did. A spoiled, rich, entitled, sauve asshole. But, for your father, he felt like he had a personal stake in hating Roman. He masqueraded like he didn’t like Roman simply for dating his daughter, but he didn’t give a shit about you or your well being. Your father, the pathetic drunk that he was, was threatened by Roman more than any man you had ever met. He was the one person who he couldn’t intimidate and feel superior too, because Roman didn’t feel intimidated or lesser to anyone in the world.

“Me too.”

You both drink in silence for a moment, and you pretend not to notice Roman as he inched closer to you on the cushions.

“Do you remember,” Roman says, swallowing a gulp of his drink, “that time we snuck into that club in Philadelphia? And you and Letha, just got, like absolutely abliderated on Long Island iced teas?”

You smiled at the memory, your lips parting with glee the more you remembered about the night.

“Yes! Oh my God, I had totally forgot about that.”

Roman had paid off some bouncer to let the three of you into some club downtown and it had been a spectacular night. You and Letha were guzzling drinks like it was the end of the world. Roman was only encouraging your recklessness with jokes and bankrolling the bottomless teas. Letha had danced on the bar top while singing you an off key Elton John song while you drunkenly squealed with glee in a hysterical Roman’s arms. You had never seen Roman laugh so much until that night.

You all danced and drank and laughed and smiled. You had all hid in a corner as you had fished out cocaine from a baggy with your pinky nail, and held it to each Godfrey’s nose like you were giving them communion, before blessing yourself.

You distinctly remember hanging off Roman like a kola most of the night. Giving him sloppy kisses and groping him in the crowd with whispered promises of more when you were alone. You remember him smiling down at you and always having a hand on your ass. You remember Letha’s happy screams and giggles and how she was twirling so much on the dance floor she tumbled.

“That was a really good night.” You said.

Roman nodded, “It was. It was one of those rare times I could get Letha out of her shell.”

The mood dipped from happy memories to grief as his cousin's untimely death was remembered. It was written clear as day on Roman’s face that he was far from healed from her passing.

“I miss her, too.” You placed a hand on his.

“Yeah. Life isn’t far, huh?” You saw he was trying to ward off a wash of emotion, not wanting to wallow in her death, because it wasn’t an easy pit to push himself out of.

“No, it really isn’t.”

If life was fair, Olivia would have been long deceased. Roman wouldn’t have ever been coerced to do any heinous acts. Letha would be alive. Shelley would have never vanished.

You didn’t dare bring up his missing sister to Roman, because that pain was almost worse than the wound Letha’s death had inflicted. For the both of you.

You had learned from Peter the previous day that Shelley was still missing with no leads in finding her. You had nodded but said nothing else and he had let you.

You had always been close with Shelley. She was so kind and sweet, and incredibly understanding and thoughtful. You were the only two women Roman truly loved and that bonded you in a way, to be the only ones to have his unfettered devotion. The thought of Shelley, out in the world alone, scared and labeled a fugitive made you sick. You couldn’t think about it for long without your nausea sparking and tears forming in your eyes.

“What I said to you… that night? That wasn’t fair either. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt you like that.” Roman says, his eyes cast down.

“Roman, we don’t have to do this again. It’s fine, no worries.” You said as casually as possible.

“No, but it really wasn’t,” Roman shakes his head and rotates his body toward you.

“I said those things because I was scared, not because they were true. You have to know that.”

You swallow thickly and nod. Rationally, you knew that was true. After Roman had explained to you yesterday the reason for his vicious one-eighty toward you, you knew that he was only being cruel to push you away. But the words still hurt, they were still brutal enough to feel like there was an ounce of truth to them.

“I was wrong, I can see that now, yknow? I was really wrong for all of that,” Roman lamented, “I fucked up.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). That’s what I really want to say, what I really want you to know. And you know me, probably better than anyone in the world, maybe even more than I know myself,” He huffed a laugh, “And you know that I don’t apologize. Because I’m not wrong. I’m just not. I don’t say I’m sorry, not to anyone… but this, I gotta own up to. Because I was wrong for hurting you, pushing you away.”

You listened to Roman with baited breath.

“You were the only person who ever really saw me. Looked into my eyes and saw past the bullshit and accepted me, loved me… and the idea of you hating me forever killed me, fucking killed me so much. But it was better than you sticking around and seeing that all that bullshit was true, and maybe I was even worse.”

“Roman,” You rasped, gripping his hand tighter, your fingernails biting into his skin.

“I promised to never hurt you, to protect you, keep you safe. And I failed.”

Roman had always been protective of his loved ones. He hoarded them like a dragon with gold, prowling in front of them with bared teeth and spitting fury. You still remember the first time he pledged his devotion to you, his undying protection and loyalty.

It was after the first time he had met your father. A dinner at the Godfrey mansion with your parents, Olivia, Shelley, yourself and Roman. It was an evening requested by Olivia to meet the parents of the girl who had bewitched her son.

She had been her typical elitist self, turning her nose up at your middle class parents with joy. You were sure she was vibrating in her seat with happiness that she could feel so superior to your average parents. Likely hoping Roman would see this too, and kick you to the curb.

You mother had been aimable, mostly quiet. You always thought of your mother as a very charming woman, who could talk to anyone no matter the circumstance. But, Olivia would barely let her get a word in, so she took the hint. Though, you could tell Shelley liked her, and that warmed your heart.

The night’s conversation was dominated by Olivia for the most part, regaling the Godfrey wealth and stories of her privileged life. When she wasn’t boasting about herself, your father would be the one to chime in. Either with an offensive comment or with his poor table manners. It was like having a wild boar in the Shangri La and you felt your face heat with consistent humiliation. You could see your mother twitch uncomfortably across from you whenever he would act, and you knew she was in the same boat.

You were already planning your apology to Roman when your father spoke up. You had been too busy stewing in your mortification to follow the conversation being had at the time.

“Well, I tell you something, Roman. This one over here,” Your father stuck his fork over to you, “Isn’t gonna be a good little wife, not like your mother is.”

Your father threw a smarmy grin to Olivia.

“You’re gonna have to wipe her into shape. Always wants to back talk and cross her damn arms and stomp her damn feet at you.”

Your father laughs and nuges your mother with his elbow, like he had made a joke. Like he thought this joke about you as Roman’s meek little wife would please Olivia and your boyfriend.

Olivia laughed along and made a comment about her predisposition to wifehood because of her upbring, while Roman seethed. You could see his jaw flexing and hear the sound of his ragged breaths through his nose. You discreetly placed your hand on his lap, doing your best to calm him, but it did nothing as your father continued to make comments about your disrespectful personality, all with the cadence of a joke.

“Why don’t you go out for a smoke?” Roman said to your father through gritted teeth.

“Excuse me?” You father said, stopping mid sentence and glaring at Roman.

“I said, why don’t you go out for a smoke and cool off? And when you come back, be a little fucking nicer?”

Roman’s eyes bore into your father’s as he spoke. Your father looked furious at this teenage boy’s demand, and you were sure there was going to be a fight. Both men were incredibly hot headed, that this evening might even end in a physical altercation. But, your father just pushed up from the table and left the five of you in awkward silence. Roman relaxed once your father was gone, taking your hand from his lap and intertwining your fingers together on the tabletop. Your mother soon struck up a conversation with Olivia about the antique chaise lounge in the living room.

Roman held your hand for the rest of the night. When your father returned, he stayed silent.

When it was time for your parents to leave, Roman offered to drive you home. Though, the minute both you were out of sight of his home and your parents, he pulled over.

“Roman, I am so sorry about-” You began, but Roman stopped you by placing his hands firmly on your cheeks.

“Don’t apologize. Not for that fucking man.” He said, his tone turning venomous when he mentioned your father.

“The fucking nerve of him,” Roman spat, his hands tightening on your face, “The fucking nerve of him to speak like that about you. And to me! To me in my fucking home. I’m going to kill him, I’ll fucking kill him.”

Roman spoke sincerely and you wondered for a moment if you asked him to kill your father, would he?

“He’s not worth it, he’s not even worth your anger.” You sighed, placing your hand on his wrist and stroking his skin with your thumb.

“He isn’t worth shit. That fucking cunt.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched your boyfriend speak obscenities.

“What?”

“You look very sexy when you’re this mad.”

You could see Roman’s face visibly relax. You knew he was still angry, but your comment had placated him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You grinned at him and began to lean in for a kiss when Roman stopped you.

You looked into his eyes again and you saw this serious demoaner was back.

“I will never let him say anything like what he said tonight to you again, OK? Never. I’ll never let him fucking touch you again,” Roman came to rest his forehead to yours, “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I will keep you safe forever.”

And you believed him. You believed him more than you had ever believed a single person in your life. There wasn’t an ounce of you in that moment that could argue with him. You trusted him fully.

“Ok.” Was all you could say with the emotion that was brewing from his confession, before he finally pulled you to his lips.

It was the first time you realized you loved him.

“All I have ever wanted is to keep you safe.” He said it with the same vigor and sincerity that he had in his original vow to you in his car on the side of the road.

And again, you couldn’t help but believe him.

“I forgive you.” You really did.

He was swathing you with the salve of love and honesty, healing the wounds he carved into your skin with his earnest.

“You were scared, you had just had your life turned upside down… I get it. It’s OK. I’m not blameless either. I said some nasty things.”

Roman looks up from where your hands are connected and gives you a signature fierce stare.

The weight of his gaze on you feels heavy as he leans forward to set his glass on the coffee table. His eyes never leave yours as he does. As he moves back to the couch, he uses his movement to his advantage to seamlessly reach out to cup your jaw, as he settled back next to you, much closer than before.

Goosebumps bit across your flesh as the feeling of his broad palm engulfed your face and his breath began to fan across your lips. Roman was smooth, he was graceful and agile in everything he did. Everything including the set up to a kiss, especially a long awaited and important one.

Roman glides his middle and forefinger up to cradle your ear, to anchor himself to you before using his thumb on the underside of your jaw to tilt your chin. You blood was rushing loudly through your ears and all you could think of was him as Roman’s other arm came to rest across the back of the sofa and ecase you in his arms. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip before he descended for yours.

And you felt euphoric. A warmth in the pit of your stomach that only Roman would kindle.

Roman nuzzled his lips against your mouth, the tip of his nose brushing your own. Your hands migrated to lay purchase on his shoulders as you let Roman pull you impossibly close to his body. You could feel his heated cheeks against your face and you could feel his racing pulse beneath your fingers as he tipped your face up and opened his mouth into the kiss. His tongue dipped past your lips and you accepted him with a soft whimper.

Your sound of pleasure surged Roman on as he began to kiss you harder. Sweeter. Messier. Hotter. Just like he always had.

Soon, you were flat against the couch cushions, Roman above you as his hands explored your body. Your legs bracketed his hips, pushing the heels of your feet against the tops of his thighs to keep him snug against you. Your hands clutched his back tightly, the very same back you had been craving to get your hands on since you walked through the door.

Roman’s lips detached from your own to drift to your cheeks, your jaw and your neck. To bite, to suck and lick with his sinful tongue. You keened and moaned at his attentions, your back arching into him. The spit he left in his wake met the air in a chilling exchange that cooled your fiery skin.

“My baby,” He said to your skin.

“My girl,” He groaned.

“Mine,” He bit the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“Mine, mine, mine,”

You didn’t want to be present while listening to his possessions. You wanted to let them grip you and own you and continue to make your stomach flutter. You didn’t want to have to tell Roman right now that you didn’t know if you could be his again…

“You’re mine, always, always, always,” Roman moaned against you, his voice pornographically seductive.

“Yes, please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but you just knew you didn’t want the feeling of Roman to stop.

“It’s me and you, we’re together again, it’ll all be OK now,” He says before giving you another sloppy kiss.

“Be with me, be here. We can make it work.”

Roman goes back to attacking your neck with his petal soft lips, but you were finally snapped from your the haze of pleasure he had accosted you with.

“Roman, hold on,” You pushed your hands on his shoulder, “Stop.”

“What?” He pulled away from you quickly, chest heaving as he looked down at you.

He looked so boyishly innocent. His lips flush from kissing and his once perfect hair askew from your ministrations. Eyes wide and questioning. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen.

“I,” You took a pause, “I can’t stay here, Roman. I just can’t.”

He looked like you’ve shocked him, stuck his finger in an electrical socket and watched. Roman pushed himself further up, but still hovered over you.

“What do you mean you can’t stay?” He says your words back to you like they were a personal affront.

“I live in New York now, that’s where my life is. I can’t just leave.”

Roman’s jaw flexes and you watch him swallow.

“What? So, this means nothing?” He gestures between your bodies.

“No, of course not. Of course it means something.” You replied hastily.

But, Roman was already getting up off of you and started to pace the length of his kitchen. You pushed up to watch him with concern.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, I said I was sorry and I am. I really, truly am! So, why can’t you just stay with me? Be with me?” He argued.

“I know you are! I do, but just because I know you’re sorry doesn’t change the fact that I have a life somewhere else now, Ro. I can’t just abandon it.”

“Why can’t you? Just come home!” Roman threw his arms up in anger.

“I don’t want to abandon it, Roman. I don’t want to leave. I like it there.” You move yourself onto your knees as you speak.

“Jesus fucking-” Roman looked away from you and tugs at his hair, “I can’t believe you right now!”

“Roman,” You sigh.

“No! You know what? I have been declaring my fucking love for you for the past two days and that just means nothing to you? Because it doesn’t mean nothing to me.”

“It means something-!” You begin, but Roman talks over you.

“And that, that on the couch, that fucking meant something to me! Because you mean something to me, (Y/N). You always have and you always will.” He’s shouting now, if he had any neighbors you’re sure they would be able to hear.

Your eyes filmed with tears as you watch him.

“And fuck, while I’ve been going on like a bitch about how I love you, how I’m devoted to you, and you haven’t said shit! Not a word.” Roman’s eyes are beginning to wet as well.

“Is that what this is? You don’t fucking love me?” His anger cracks as his voice quivers.

“Roman, no!” You spring from where you knelt on the couch and rush to him, “I do, you know I do. I love you! I love you so much I ache.”

You cry freely now as you try to clutch his face, but Roman brushes you off.

“I love you, I have always loved you Roman. I always will. But,”

“But what? How is that not enough!”

“I need you to love me enough to know there is nothing for me here.”

“Not even me?” His lip quivers.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Your hands shake and so does your breath, “I mean there is not real life for me here. You have The Tower and that’s you life, but what about me? What could I possibly do here that would make me happy?”

Roman says nothing, just swallows a hiccup that threatened to burst from his throat.

“I need you to love me enough to let me leave.”

Roman’s face crumbles into a drastic frown as he fights tears, “I can’t. I can’t do that, not again, I can’t. I can’t let you leave again.”

“Baby,” You choke out.

“No! I can’t, I love you. So, please, just love me enough to stay. I’ll give you everything you could ever want, anything you could ever dream of to make it better here.”

“Roman, I love you. I do, I always will. But, maybe this will be good for us. Have time apart to be our own people. I think it might even be healthy?” You say your last words with a watery smile that Roman doesn’t return.

“I don’t want to have time apart. I had time apart from you and I was fucking miserable.” He states.

The thought of Roman all alone in this house, heartbroken and stewing in pity and anger makes your heart convulse with pain. You thought of all the nights you slept in your dorm room, silent tears streaking your cheeks as you held your hand over your mouth in hopes to not wake your roommate. You wondered if on the nights you cried for him, if Roman had cried for you? Had he cried at all? Or while you were pouring yourself into your studies to forget him, he was fucking whores to forget you?

“Roman, please just… I love you, just please,” Again, you had no idea what you were begging for. For him to let you leave? For him to convince you to stay? All you knew was that this day had been so catosphroticlly emotionally draining and all you wanted was to fall into his arms for comfort.

“Do you want to be apart from me?” He asked bluntly.

“Roman, just-”

“Answer me. Do you want to be apart from me anymore?”

Your mouth was thick with discarded tears and phlegm. All you could do was look at him and hope he understood you. To tell him you didn’t.

His eyes softened and you knew your mental tether was still intact.

Roman takes a step toward you and moves his head to be level with your own, “Then we’ll make this work. I’ll convince NYU to let you take online classes from here, OK? I’ll build them some new buildings - hell! A new campus. I’ll be their new biggest donor, their new favorite fucking person. I’ll give them whatever they want as long as they give me you in return.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Roman.” You look down at your feet.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

You pierce your teeth into your bottom lip and look back up at him. Back at Roman with his pink, glossy eyes and hopeful gaze.

“I love the city…”

“Then we’ll fly up every weekend, no exceptions. I’ll buy us a loft in the heart of Manhattan.You can design it to your heart’s content. Make it will feel warm and old and us. The opposite of this place.” Roman says quickly like he knew that would be your next rebuttal.

You gasp a sob and close your eyes tight. You feel Roman close the distance between you both and cup your face in his large hands.

“And we will figure the rest out, whatever else is holding you back. We’ll find you your dream job or your passion or whatever you want.”

You crack your pulsing eyes, to see Roman’s face now streaked with tears.

“Just tell me you’ll stay.”

You knew this was a risk. You knew he was a risk. You knew leaving New York and NYU sounded naive and utterly foolish to someone on the outside of your and Roman’s relationship. You knew that you would fight with him, that you would get angry with him, that he’d work too much and that he would have to reschedule trips to the city. You knew you would get irritated with each other and you’d say something snarky and Roman would say something mean. You knew there would be nights you went to bed angry and days where you gave each other the silent treatment. You knew it would be hard. Most things involving Roman were. Expect loving him.

You knew that even with all the bad that came with a relationship with Roman, it was eons better than being without him for a moment longer now that you had him again.

You had wanted to look to the future, to forget the past and forge a new way for yourself. Truthfully, you still did. But maybe you could start over with Roman by your side? Wash away the pain of his indiscretions and learn and grow and heal together? You hoped you could. You hope you weren’t letting your overwhelming love for the man in front of you cloud your judgements.

So, you placed your hands on his neck and watched his face turn hopeful and said:

“Ok.”

i really wish i could say i loved this, but i am really on the fence about if this story is even good at all? it was better in my head. but! i hope you enjoyed it anyway and pllsss if you did, gimme some feedback <3 it makes me happy :-)

#i still have other one shots in the works so hopefully those are better than this!#also prompts will be opening soon (:#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #roman godfrey imagine #roman godfrey imagines #roman godfrey fanfic #roman godfrey fanfiction #roman godfrey x you #hemlock grove fanfic #hemlock grove fanfiction #hemlock grove imagine #hemlock grove imagines #bill skarsgård x reader #bill skarsgård fanfiction #bill skarsgård imagine #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard x reader #stevesharrlngtonswrites

426 notes · View notes

creepsmcstuffins · 3 years

Text

Living with a Irish Fae

I live with a Dullahan. No, it's not some grotesque headless horseman that throws its head at you or takes its spine whip and snatches you up into a skeletal wagon. Nor does it throw a bucket of blood on you when you get too close to it.

Sorry, if you think that, but its.... Rather HE is just an asshole. Who eats all my food, leaves the lights on, terrorizes (not really though) my dogs and shits with the door open to the bathroom. He's am Irish bloke, with a smart damn mouth. And yes he does, indeed, own a horse. His horse is better company than the loud asshole that lives with me. His horse is a black stallion that goes by the name of Caboose. A friendly boy, and I even get to ride him, when the dullahan isn't working.

Cullen O'Houlihan. That's his full name. He's a bastard man. But I'm sure your wondering how we met. Well, I'll take you back a bit.

My name is Ebonie Brown. And I was driving home one morning after working a long 10 hours. The old country roads that I drive are usually empty. Save for the occasional deer or possum in or on the side of the road. And maybe if a neighbor, I say that lightly, left one of the gates open and a cow might be grazing along the road. In the early hours of the morning, the sun could be seen peeking over the mountains. I live in a heavily mountainous area, where a lot of agriculture is farmed. Mostly corn, if I'm honest. The sun was leaving the sky pink and red, lovely hues that I enjoyed seeing.

Without warning, a horse was in the middle of the road, barely smashing into the animal, I turned the steering wheel, swerving away from the horse. Not completely hitting it, but not missing it either. I hit its rear, or what seemed like a hit. Spinning out and luckily not going into a ditch or being bent around a tree, I got out.

"What the hell!? I could-" the horse still stood. Like nothing happened! Though it... It shimmered like a... Phantom of some sort... it... looked at me, with... Big black eyes... Empty hollowed eyes, black as night. It snorted at me, black smoke pooling out from its nostrils. I took a glance at the rest of it, like it's head, the body shimmered. Black shadows enveloped it, shifting at the horse moved his neck to look at me better. I shivered as it moved.

"Uh... nice horsey?" I asked, more of a whimper, and holding my hands up. In defense, hoping this... Nightmare wouldn't decide I was food... or something... Jumping at a rustling sound, coming from the tree line near where I was standing. The horse let out another snort. And a... A man came out. Tall... tall as shit. Im a 5ft 2in woman, a little overweight, if I'm honest. And he was a giant! At least 6ft... He was wearing black armor, accompanied by an obsidian sword and a spine whip.

I know. I know, I said that he doesn't use the whip, but let me continue.

This man... He didnt have a fucking head. Scratch that, he had a head, he was just holding it in his arms. The head looked at me. At my eye level. He had brown thick hair, and golden eyes. The eyes were shimmering like the horse's eyes and body. The head had gold light flowing from it and the body had a purple aura pouring from it. Power, dark power came from both, the horse and its rider. I stepped back, and stared at the head.

"The fok you starin' at?" It spoke, thick Irish accent prominent, "You ever seen a man at night like this, ya idiot!?"

I was speechless, frozen. I didn't expect the head to talk. It frowned at me,

"Well!? Don't stand there gapin' like a fish! SPEAK!!" His voice rang out loud and even made some sleeping birds flutter past us. The horse snorted, pawing at the ground. The head looked at the horse then back at me.

"You hi't 'em?!" He barked at me, snapping me out of my stupor,

"N-no? I.. I mean... he... i..." I stuttered, still not moving. The head huffed and the body moved, reattaching the head to itself.

"Whats your name?" He crossed his arms, and leaned his weight off to one side, the sword swinging as he shifted his weight.

"Ebonie... Brown." I spoke slowly, eyeing the sword more than the whip. Then looked back up at him.

"Well I'm Cullen O'Houlihan. And you hit Caboose. You hurt his feelings. Now. You owe us." He smiled evilly at me. I frown, starting to drown in whatever shitty possibilities he had in mind. The male bent down and smiled at me,

"Well Miss Brown. Where ya live at? I'm gonna need a place to rest m' weary 'ead." I shutter, and nod, getting back into my car. He mounted his horse and followed me home. We arrived at my mother's home... Thankfully she and my sister were sleep still. I parked and got out.

"Uh... what are you gonna do with... Your horse? He-"

"He'll be fine out here." Cullan yawned and dismounted. And strode up to me.

"Cute lil' house. Your Ma?" He nodded at the house. I nodded,

"Yeah. Come on... I only have one bed so..." I walked to my door, and unlocked it.

"Oh?" I could hear the smug look and smile on his face,

"Care to have a night with an Irish lad then?" He bent close to my cheek. I could feel Cullen's breath. It was cold, like a frozen wind, on a snowy December night. I hit him with the screen door.

"You can sleep on my dogs bed. I don-" Cullen barked out a yelp of surprise, rather than pain. I smirked and walked into the door. Slipping my shoes off. He followed, having to bend a bit to get through the door.

"Well. This is... not what-"

"Shut up. If your staying the night-" He threw a bag of money, gold rather at my head. And shot me a look, that said "that aught to be enough." I rolled my eyes. His armor melted, and transformed into comfy pajamas. Cullen gave a stretch and looked at me.

"Bed? I'm quite tired." I nodded, pointing at my room. Walking through the doorway, he plopped, face first into the bed. Snoring before I could walk in after him. I sighed, stupid bastard was supposed to sleep elsewhere. It's fine I guess... just for one night. I slipped in next to him, careful not to get to close to him. I pulled my plaid blanket close and then reached over pulling another blanket over Cullen. I huffed and fell asleep.

I woke up to clattering and a scream, I shot out of my bed. Cullen was looking for whatever, not stopping to look at him I rushed outside, snatching my gun and pulling the slide, loading a bullet into the chamber. My mom was screeching at the black (non shimmering) horse standing in the garden. Caboose was eating her cucumbers... I lowered my gun.

"Shit...." Cullen followed me out, spoon in hand, eating out of my applesauce jar. He was snickering.

"WHO ARE THEY!?" my mom yelled at me, pointing at Cullen and Caboose. I held my hand up and she stopped panicking.

"This is..." I paused... I didn't know what to say! What was I supposed to say!? As if reading my mind, Cullen stepped forward, pushing the jar into my hands.

"Hello!" His voice clear and friendly, he stepped forward and extended his hand,

"Im Cullen! Cullen O'Houlihan! Pleasure to finally meet you Miss Boyd! I'm your daughter's boyfriend." He smiled widely and as charming he could.

My mom took his hand and her eyes grew clear, as if I had mentioned this random ass man before.

"Oh! Cullen! I remember Eb saying something about you! Wonderful to finally meet you!" She smiled at the man, then scolded him,

"You need to move your horse though! He's eating my garden!" At a snap of Cullen's fingers, Caboose, the nightmare horse moved.

"So sorry about the inconvenience. I'll make sure he stays out of the plants Miss." He walked back over to me, flashing me a look. And he plucked the applesauce jar from my hand, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. And pressing our cheeks together.

"I hope you don't mind me crashin' here! I've got rent money for us." He pulled out a stack of money from his pocket and held it out to my mother. She gratefully took it and nodded. Leaving us alone outside to stare at Caboose who was eating the weeds next to my old red Chevy. Cullen didn't move, but stood still smirking at me, and gave me a pointed look.

"Well, Darlin'," he drew out the word, "Darlin'", "I guess your stuck with me." He kissed my cheek, his lips cold. And walked off. I sighed, now I have a.... I realized I didn't know what the hell he was. I turned and followed him inside,

"What-"

"A Fae. Specifically a Dullahan." He mused. Ok so he could read my mind. Cullen looked at me and smiled, sitting in my spinning computer chair. I opened my mouth again, he spoke, this time in my head, smiling that stupid ass Cheshire cat grin,

"I'm here cause I'm curious. Tired living in the fuckin forests and meadows of Ireland. But the civilization was a bit much for me and Caboose, so I opted for a cooler area. The mountains was what he and I agreed on. You just happened to be unlucky to come across us. I found a dead dog in the road where you "hit" Cabose. And I wanted to give the poor thing a decent burial." Cullen finished his story and plopped the empty applesauce jar on my computer desk.

"This is my new home.... But if you move, I'll move with you."

So... I guess that'd the first thing? To write about... for now. My new boyfriend is a Dullahan. A legit one... his... head is floating over here now. I gotta go... I'll write again soon.

#creepypasta #dullahan #entry 1 #original post #original story

14 notes · View notes

atsumiyass · 3 years

Text

With this Song Pt.1

hey guys !! this wasnt a request but we wanted to get something on the page so here it is, hope you enjoy !! - venus

Satori Tendou x F!Reader (soulmate au)

warnings: none

part 2 here !!

You never truly believed in soulmates. The thought of having one never pleased you anyways. I mean, shouldn’t you be able to choose who you would spend the rest of your life with? It just didn’t sit right with you. Either way, the moment you turned 18 during your 3rd year of high school, your parents told you about how you and your soulmate could hear when and what each other sang, and that would be how they could identify who you were. You didn’t really linger on the thought for too long, more pushing it to the side and leaving it for later. Ontop of graduating in a matter of a few months, final exams, and managing your school’s volleyball club, you didn’t need anything else to worry about.

The next time you were at school your friends asked you a bunch of questions about it, but you brushed it off not wanting to think about the topic. Once you entered your classroom you sat at your desk and put your head down, not getting much sleep the night prior due to your parents constant nagging. “you look horrible” The ash blonde commented as he sat in his desk next to yours. The sound of his voice had you sitting up, an unamused expression on your face. “gee thanks eita…” you mumbled and put your head back down. “I just mean that…you look like you had a rough night. Is everything okay?” he asked in a concerned tone. “yeah its just, this stupid soulmate thing.” You sighed turning in your seat to face him. “I get it, my parents would talk my ear off about it all the time, they’ll leave you alone eventually.” He assured you to which you nodded. A part of you doubted his words considering how involved your parents were with your life. But he had already found his, so it was only a matter of time until you found yours. Before you could think about the matter any further the teacher walked into the classroom as the bell rang and ordered the students to get out materials for the lesson.

The sound of the lunch bell rang through your ears, making you jump a bit since you had been dazing off in class. “You coming? we have lunch practice today.” Semi reminded you as he started packing up his things. “Yeah sure, I’m just gonna get a drink at the vending machine really quick. I’m starving.” You told him. He nodded and walked out of the classroom, you trailing behind and walking in the opposite direction to the vending machine. Once you got there you felt around your bag for your clutch where you kept your money.

To no avail, you had forgotten it at home.

You sighed and closed your bag again. “there goes my somewhat lunch” you mumbled and started walking off. “heyy! y/n-chan~” you heard the familiar voice call out from behind. You turned around you saw the red head skip towards you, money in hand. “Didya forget your money at home? Silly y/n-chan. Your always so forgetful!” he teased, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “was it that obvious?” you laughed and looked away in embarrassment. “aw chin up! Here..” he started, putting money into the machine and pressing two buttons. A chocolate milk and a strawberry milk popping out of it. He handed the pink carton to you with a grin. You looked at him for a second and took the carton from his hand, your fingers lingering for a second before pulling away. “Thanks Satori-kun, I really appreciate it.” You said, giving him a small smile. “Now cmon, we’re gonna be late for practice.” You ushered, pushing the straw inside the carton and sipping on the pink liquid. The red head followed behind, little to your knowledge gazing at you with lovestruck eyes and a smile on his face.

It was now nighttime, and you were helping the boys clean up the gym. Mostly helping Goshiki pick up stray balls and putting them back into the cart. After everyone was done cleaning you informed the boys you would be staying back to fold the uniforms that had just finished drying. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to the dorms l/n-san? I don’t mind staying behind.” Ushijima offered as he picked up his shoes from the floor. “Its no problem Ushijima-san, I’ll be fine walking by myself don’t worry. Have a good night!” You reassured him. He gave a bow in return and walked with Tendou towards the boys dormitories. You walked to the washing room and quietly started singing a song you’ve recently been obsessed with while folding the jerseys.

“He's singing, She's a, she's a lady…”

“And I am just a line without a hook…”

“Oh baby I am a wreck when I’m without you”

“I need you here to stay...”

“What was that Tendou-san? A hook with what?” Ushijima asked, making Tendou chuckle. “No no no Wakatoshi-kun…it’s the song my soulmates been singing a lot lately, they just started singing it again right now.” He explained to which Ushijima nodded. “So do you like the song they’ve gotten stuck inside your head?” Ushijima asked, making tendou smile and look up at the night sky littered with stars.

“yeah…it reminds me of someone special.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next few weeks, you kept your soulmate to the back of your mind. Not paying too much mind to it considering you had much more important things to worry about. But when you weren’t singing, your soulmate definitely was. They would sing the strangest songs; you were pretty sure they were all made up but either way they were always in your head 24/7. You even caught yourself humming to some at practice. Okay maybe they were a bit catchy…

“Stray!” you heard someone call out, pulling you from your daze as you quickly moved to the side and let the ball hit the wall next to you. “Sorry about that y/n-senpai!” Goshiki quickly exclaimed in fear that you would be angry. You simply waved at him that it was fine and continued with your manager duties. One of them being updating stats, since it was the start of a new month. You grabbed your notebook and your clipboard and started jotting things down. You soon got to Tendou and started changing his stamina and speed stats, along with his height. Once again you started humming your soulmates song without noticing, which striked coach Saitous attention. “Whats that song you’re singing?” he asked which made you jump from surprise. You mentally scolded yourself again for humming it before answering “Just this song my soulmate got stuck in my head.” You laughed and continued to Shirabus stats. “Your soulmate? Well, if anything I thought that was one of Tendous weird songs he likes to sing on the court.” He added which made you abruptly stop writing.

Tendous song? No, it couldn’t be. It sounded nothing like them, it was absurd to think hes my soulmate…I mean, I’ve never heard him hum one of my songs, and even if he has I’m sure it’s just a coincidence since we hang around each other a lot-’ your thoughts stopped as you heard the coaches voice again “It seems as though you have some thinking to do y/n-san. But whatever it is, please don’t let it affect the team. I wish you luck on finding your soulmate.” He stated before getting up and calling a 10-minute break. You processed his words for a couple more seconds before scrambling to get the water bottles and towels. Passing them out to each player, coach Saitous words still lingered in your mind.

“Heya y/n-chan?! Im talking to you!” Tendou said waving his hands frantically in front of your face to get your attention. “H-huh?? Oh sorry I was just thinking.” You said, to which he just laughed and shook his head. “Anyways, I was just wondering if you’ve found your soulmate yet?” He said which had your eyes widening at the unexpected question. “Oh uh..haha yeah well uhh..its not really my main concern at the moment, considering we’re graduating soon and all that-” “but y/n aren’t you eager to know who it is?” He said cutting you off, bringing his face closer to yours. “I-I mean it would be great but its not really my main priority…” you said quietly while looking down at your shoes. “Hm...well I don’t know mine either, and I haven’t even the faintest clue! I just know they love singing this song about a line without a hook. It’s a pretty catchy tune though, Wakatoshi-kun also likes it….” He continued, but you didn’t hear much after that.

It was him. He was your soulmate. There was no denying it. The songs you were singing, were his. The songs he was singing, were yours. It was all coming together. Your close friend of three years, Satori Tendou, was your soulmate. The person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with. The person you would get married to and have kids with. Oh my gosh, kids with Tendou?!? I bet they would all have red hair…heh…cute…“Anyways, we’ll talk more after practice y/n-chan!” he said which made you meet his gaze. He handed you the towel and water bottle, throwing in a wink on his way back to the court. A feint blush coated your cheeks at the gesture. After sitting back down on the bench thoughts came flooding to your mind so quickly, the main one being…

How you were going to tell him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you can find our haikyuu masterlist: here

or our general masterlist: here

63 notes · View notes

akvtsuki-ari · 4 years

Text

Sweetheart (Ch.1)

Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader

Length: 5.3k

Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that

Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted

Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.

It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.

It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part.

Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.

Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.

It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately.

So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks.

It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.

USERNAME: DOC187

SUB/ SWITCH / DOM

M / F / O

FETISHES: N/A

BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.

Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.

Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.

USERNAME: MISS—LILAC

SUB / SWITCH / DOM

M / F / O

FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things.

BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.

Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.

DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.

Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.

MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?

Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.

DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?

MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.

Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.

DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.

MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.

Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.

DOC187: What kinds of questions?

MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.

Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.

DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.

MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.

Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.

DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.

MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?

Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.

DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.

MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.

"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.

"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.

"Lovely to talk to you doc,"

"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.

"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"

"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.

"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.

"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.

"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.

"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.

"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.

"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.

"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.

"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"

"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.

"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.

"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.

"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.

"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.

"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"

"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.

"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.

Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon

_____

"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.

"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.

"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.

"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.

"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.

"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.

"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.

"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.

"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.

"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.

"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.

"That's tough, Spence,"

Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.

Y/N 🌸: *image attachment*

Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33

Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.

"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.

"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.

"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.

"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.

"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.

"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.

"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.

"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.

Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.

Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.

Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?

Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.

"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts

"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.

"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.

"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.

"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.

"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.

"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.

"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"

"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.

Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love

Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.

Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life

Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.

Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.

Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?

"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.

"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.

Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one

Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.

Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.

Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc.

Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way.

___

"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.

"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.

"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second.

"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.

"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.

"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.

"No, why?,"

"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.

"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.

"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.

"Yeah?"

"I really like you,"

____

Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.

"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)

"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"

"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?," You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.

"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."

"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"

"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.

___

Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.

The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.

The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.

The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.

"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.

"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.

Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.

The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.

"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.

"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.

"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.

Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.

Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.

"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.

You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.

"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.

"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"

"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.

"What're you worried about?,"

"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you to continue.

"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.

Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.

"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.

"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.

"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.

"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.

Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.

His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.

"You're cute baby,"

Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.

You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid oneshot #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #sub!spencer #sub!spencer reid #so nervous abt uploading this lol

813 notes · View notes

vintagedolan · 4 years

Text

forgetful (egd)

it’s not like Ethan to forget things, so there’s no way he forgot your birthday... right?

word count: 4.2k

requested by: anon (thank you beeb!)

warnings/tags: sad!ethan, forgetting of a birthday, panic attack, mentions of sean, angst (but it’s resolved cause im a weak fluffy bitch oops)

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy :)

This was one elaborate plan, you’d give him that. And he was hiding everything so well that you were ridiculously impressed. You went along with it, not wanting him to think that you were suspicious of anything.

“You all packed?” You asked, pouting a bit as he zipped up his bag and stood it up on its wheels.

“Yep. It’s just for a few days, I’ll be back on Thursday. Need some family time with Mom,” he reassured you.

Thursday. Your birthday.

You never really made a big deal out of birthdays but after you had gotten Ethan two new custom longboards for his, he had promised you an epic celebration for your big day. And he hadn’t let you in on the secret at all. It took all your self control not to pry and ask questions as you followed him out to the car where Grayson was waiting. Was he even going to Jersey? Or was this all some big ploy? You wouldn’t put it past him. Either way, you knew you weren’t going to see him for a few days, which pulled at your heart strings a bit.

“Okay, well fly safe, and let me know when you all get there,” you wrapped your arms around his torso, squeezing tight. He nuzzled into your hair for a moment, squeezing you even tighter than he usually did. Between the way he was talking and that, you could tell something was definitely going on.

“I will. I love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss you goodbye. It was quicker than usual. It only convinced you more.

“Love you too,” you smiled at him, letting go and moving to hug Grayson goodbye. You waved until they were out of sight before going inside, with a million thoughts of what he could be up to running through your head.

He text you a quick made it safe about 6 hours later, right on time for a landing in New Jersey. You sent back some hearts and a response.

Have fun hanging with your mom, I know you’ve missed her. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you! It was a subtle way of trying to assure him that he didn’t need to be talking to you when he should be visiting with his family.

He sent back a I will baby, I love you too and you left it at that.

The next day went by fairly slow for a Monday. You piddled around the house, getting some work done and generally just relaxing. Ethan FaceTimed you around noon, and was acting even weirder than before. Something was definitely up, and you couldn’t help but get a little bit excited. He must be planning something big if he was this nervous about it.

Tuesday was even weirder. He sent you a good morning text, but you didn’t hear from him again until that evening, and when he called you could tell that he was exhausted and wasn’t much in the mood for talking. It puzzled you some, but worried you more than anything.

“Are you okay baby? You seem a bit off,” you asked.

“Yeah, I’m just tired. I need to go to bed. I love you.”

“I love you too, get some rest.”

By Wednesday, you were actually starting to get concerned. You considered texting Grayson - if Ethan was actually upset about something, his brother would probably tell you. But you felt bad at the idea of going behind Ethan’s back so you waited.

It was 9pm your time, which was midnight back in Jersey, when he finally facetimed you. He was in a bit higher spirits, which made you smile. His day was much more interesting than yours had been, so you listened to him talk about anything and everything, just content to hear his voice. When he finally got through all the events, he asked all about yours. There wasn’t much to tell, but you walked him through.

“I’m sure tomorrow will be more eventful,” you teased, rolling your eyes a bit.

“Yeah, about that. Cam is coming to surprise mom tomorrow, and Gray and I are gonna stay an extra day so we can see her. It’s been ages since we’ve all been home,” he explained. You balked. Was he kidding? You watched him closely, trying to see if he was joking or not. You noticed that he was fidgeting a little bit, one of his nervous habits. Something else was up.

It clicked for you then - he was probably setting up the surprise, wanting you to think that he wasn’t even going to be in the state. Sneaky.

“Okay, that’s fine,” you responded, secretly looking around the screen to see if you could spot a camera. He would be filming this for sure if there was a video, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor tomorrow though. Louis Vuitton is getting a shipment of new stuff in for me and Gray, and we’re supposed to pick specific stuff by Saturday, do you think you could go get it and bring it home so we have more time to decide once we get back?”

There it was.

The weird get-you-to-a-certain-place excuse that was customary with any Ethan surprise. You breathed out a sigh - for a second there you really thought that he had forgotten. This was one of his less creative ideas, but you rolled with it anyways.

“Yeah, I can get it. What time am I supposed to go?”

“Whenever is fine! Thank you baby,” he offered you a soft smile.

Weird. Usually he would be specific on a time. Oh well. He definitely just needed you out of the house so he could set up whatever it was.

“You’re welcome. Isn’t it like 1am there now? You should be asleep,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, we’ve gotta get Cam pretty early in the morning so you’re probably right. Well, I love you, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Goodnight!”

“I love you too, goodnight baby.”

It was hard to sleep that night. Your mind was racing with a million different things, trying to think of what he would be planning. He was probably on a plane already. You woke up throughout the night, convinced you were hearing him sneaking in. But eventually you fell asleep with no dreams.

And when you woke up the next morning around 9am the house was empty and quiet. You didn’t feel any older, and to be honest it didn’t feel much different from your past few birthdays - you usually spent them alone. You walked around the house cautiously, peeking around corners to see if someone was there to jump out and surprise you. No one showed, so you simply went to the kitchen and made yourself a quick breakfast.

Once that was done, you went back to Ethan’s bathroom and started getting ready. It had been awhile since you’d done a full face of makeup, and you put on one of your favorite outfits as well just to make you feel nice.

As you were putting your shoes on, you felt your phone buzz.

Morning baby! what’re you up to? was the text from Ethan that came across your screen.

morning! I’m headed to louis to get your alls clothes

You felt the butterflies starting to mount as you headed out to the car. Who knew what was gonna be there when you got back. Deciding to make the most of it, you stopped by your favorite coffee shop and got a drink on your way to the store. The workers were nice as always, even helping you to get all the garment bags into your car before waving as you drove off.

The excitement mounted with each minute that passed on the way home. You were practically bouncing by the time you got to the driveway, opening the gate and pulling in. Nothing looked different - of course, he would have hidden the cars somewhere.

You gathered all the garment bags, holding them high above you so they didn’t drag the ground, hoping you wouldn’t drop them if someone jumped out.

Opening the door slowly, you braced yourself.

And nothing.

Nothing happened.

You kept walking, placing the bags down over the couch.

“Hello?” You said, listening to the echo. There was no response. And then it hit you like a ton of bricks.

No one was here.

No one was coming.

You’d been forgotten.

The tears came quickly, hot and angry down your cheeks. It took a moment for you to realize that you were actually embarrassed. You’d made up a whole scenario in your head that your boyfriend was planning some major surprise for you, when in reality he was actually across the country with no idea what day it even was. It stung much more than you thought it would.

And so, you sat on the floor and cried, leaving tear stains on your outfit and throwing a full on pity party. You felt stupid, and childish, and unloved all at the same time. A tiny sliver of hope remained, but when you got a snapchat from Grayson of them in the car with Cam, it faded too.

After about an hour you managed to get yourself up off the floor, going through the motions. You hung the boys clothes up in their closets, cleaned up your makeup; it was still your birthday. You were going to try to have a good day if you could. So you went back out to the grocery and bought yourself a cake. A whole ass cake in your favorite flavor, and you had the bakers write “happy birthday to me” on top of it in white icing.

As you drove back to the house, your sadness started to turn into anger. You didn’t deserve this shit. You deserved to be celebrated on the one fucking day of the year that was about you. And you were happy that Ethan was getting to see his sister - you really were. If he had told you about it and been apologetic that he couldn’t be there for your birthday, you would have understood. But it was so very obvious that he’d completely forgotten, and that was what bothered you the most out of anything.

When your phone rang with a facetime from him, you knew better than to answer it. You would say something that you really, really regretted. You let it ring through as you pulled in the driveway, carrying your cake inside and sitting it on the counter. Your phone rang again, and you ignored it.

He seemed to give up, and sent you a text instead.

Hey baby, we ended up needing to get a flight tonight so I should be home around 11 or so your time. didn’t want you to get scared if you heard me. can’t wait to see you, I missed you!

You closed your phone. You didn’t trust yourself to not be an asshole. You knew that as soon as Ethan realized what was going on he was going to feel absolutely terrible. So you didn’t want to be a complete asshole. But... that didn’t mean you couldn’t be a little bit petty.

So you decided to stay up until he got home. And by stay up, that meant waiting in the kitchen for him with your cake on the counter so he could realize exactly what had happened. Petty. But justified.

The wait was long, but worth it when you finally heard them coming down the driveway. You started eating the cake, making sure to just get the corners because you wanted the words to stay visible.

The door clicked open and shut, and you heard the rustling of the boys coming in.

“Tell Y/N I said hey if she’s up, I’m going the fuck to sleep,” you heard Grayson explain, not even coming into the kitchen.

Good. You didn’t want him in the middle of all this anyways.

Ethan almost passed you on his way to his room, but you caught his eye. His entire face lit up when he saw you, and you felt your resolve to be petty crack a little. He was so damn cute, it was hard to stay mad at him.

“Baby you didn’t need to stay up! I figured you’d gone to sleep early since you didn’t answer earlier,” he grinned, coming over to you.

“I’m awake.” Your tone stopped him in his tracks - he was on his way to kiss you, no doubt. You were even surprised at how mad you sounded. It wasn’t like you to pick a fight.

“I can see that. Are you okay?” He was more cautious now, looking around to see if he could figure out what was happening. You gave him a minute before you took another bite of cake to give him a clue.

He looked down at the icing, and you watched him mouth the words as he read it.

“Did you buy a clearance cake or something? What’s going on? I’m confused.”

“I can wait until you figure it out.”

You watched the gears turn in his head. When he looked up from the pastry, his eyes were wide.

“What’s today’s date?” He asked, his voice meek.

“I’ll give you one guess,” you murmured, taking another bite.

“Oh no. Oh no no no no,” he said, hands coming up to his hair. He held his head for a moment, and you noticed that his chest was rising and falling too fast. He stumbled a bit, reaching back to catch himself on the counter. His hand slipped slightly - was he sweating?

You pieced it together immediately.

Panic attack.

Any anger, any pettiness you had flew out the window. You dropped your fork, running over to him and grabbing his hand.

“C’mon, come with me Ethan it’s okay,” you said, guiding him as quickly as you could to the room you shared. They always resolved quicker if he was in his most comforting place, so when you got him in the room you immediately guided him to sit on the bed.

You knelt in front of him, holding his hands in yours.

“Breathe in while I squeeze, out when I let go, okay? Just like we always do, and it’ll stop. I’m right here,” you reassured him, squeezing his hands. To your relief he was able to take a deep breath in with you, but he exhaled immediately, panic still overriding.

“You’re. You’re gonna - leave.” He was gasping through the words.

“Ethan I’m right here. I’m right here, I’m not leaving, no matter what. Just breathe baby, just breathe.”

It took almost 15 minutes to get him fully calmed down, and you only knew it was over when he opened up his arms for you. You climbed onto his lap, no hesitation, wrapping your arms around him.

It didn’t matter how angry you were - nothing was worse than seeing the man you loved in pain. You couldn’t stand it.

“I am actually the biggest piece of shit to walk the face of the earth,” he mumbled into your shoulder a few moments later. You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his hair.

“No you aren’t, I’m -”

“If you apologize, I swear to god,” he cut you off and you fell silent as he sat up and looked at you. “Please, please do not try to make me feel better right now.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” You asked honestly. You felt guilty that your pettiness had caused him to panic so quickly.

“Yell at me, scream at me, be fucking pissed off that I literally forgot the most important day of the fucking year,” he said, exasperated.

“I’m not gonna do that.” You couldn’t do that was the correct answer. “Besides, I already had my fun. With the cake.”

Ethan looked like he was going to explode.

“So I forget that today is your birthday. Not only do I not have a whole party and surprise for you, but I don’t even say happy birthday. And you spend the entire day alone, while I’m just fucking around on the other side of the country.”

“You were with your family, that’s not fucking around.”

“While I’m just fucking around on the other side of the United States-” he repeated. “And your revenge on me was to buy yourself a cake...”

“And be petty about it,” you shrugged. He looked at you in disbelief. And honestly, you were surprised at yourself too. You’d been so hurt and mad earlier, but all that anger had left you somehow. Something about being with Ethan put you at peace, even in the most unsettling of situations.

“That wasn’t even being petty! What do you even mean!? How are you not screaming at me right now!?” He practically yelled.

“I mean yeah, I was sad, but I pretty much hurt my own feelings.”

His face was actually red with frustration.

“Please explain what ridiculous way you’ve convinced yourself of that.”

You hesitated.

“It’s gonna make you sad.”

He didn’t say anything, and you sighed, knowing he was gonna make you tell him. You looked down, toying with the hem of his shirt as you explained.

“Well, I thought it was kinda weird that you were going home so close to my birthday, so I kinda convinced myself that maybe you were surprising me or something. Like pretending to be gone, but actually you were gonna be here. And you seemed off while you were home, so I thought maybe you were just planning stuff, or maybe you were nervous about pulling it off. And I thought you asked me to go to Louis to get the clothes so you had time to set stuff up. But then when I got back I realized you were still in Jersey. So really it was only bad because I thought something was happening.”

“I am a piece of shit,” he repeated after a moment.

“What was going on in Jersey that had you acting so weird?” You poised, trying to change the subject. He was going to continue beating himself up over forgetting, and there wasn’t much you could do to stop him, but you were genuinely curious as to what had been going on. You knew him well enough that you were sure that it was something - you’d just assumed wrong when guessing it was about you.

His arms tightened around you slightly, pulling you to his chest while his cheek rested on your shoulder. Sometimes, he found it easier to talk about things when he wasn’t looking right at you.

“It was Mom and Dad’s anniversary last week. It’s always really hard for her, and Grayson and I wanted to go see her to make sure she was alright, but we couldn’t get out there on the actual day. But we went to his grave on Tuesday, and I realized I hadn’t been back out there since the funeral. It stirred up a lot of emotions for everybody, but it was really nice being home with my family, even just for a little while. We facetimed with Cam while we were there, and she got upset too and wanted to see everybody so we got her a flight to come up for the day.”

You took a minute to process everything, and then you leaned back so that you could look at Ethan.

“Baby why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known all that I would have told you to stay longer.”

“I just... I didn’t want it to be a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Yes it should. Your family is the most important thing to you, it always has been and it always will be. That comes before anything,” you reassured him. “If your mom was having a hard time, you did the right thing by going to see her when you could.”

“My dad always handled everything so well. Always had a million things going on at once and never dropped anything. And I can’t even remember two fucking things.” His voice was getting rougher, and you could tell his throat was tight. You put a hand behind his neck, running your fingers through the hairs at the nape of it.

“I just wish I could be more like him. I always fuck everything up.”

“You don’t Ethan. You’re more like your dad than you’ll ever know, he raised you to be an amazing man. I see parts of him in you everyday.”

And for some reason those words broke him down, and he began to sob. You hadn’t seen him cry like that in a while, but when you had, no words could comfort him. So you just held him tightly and let him cry his way through it, running your fingers along his back gently and occasionally pressing a kiss to his temple.

When he had finally cried himself out he just melted into your shoulder and let you hold him for a while. It was a few more minutes before he spoke.

“This must be a wonderful birthday for you. Your asshole boyfriend forgets about it, then comes home and spends the last hour of it in a panic attack and then bawling like a baby over his dead dad. I sure do know how to bring the party huh.”

You leaned back to meet his eyes, and he had been so monotone through the whole thing that you couldn’t help but laugh. Your giggle caused him to start to crack, and before you knew it you were both cackling so hard you were crying.

“We’re quite the duo,” you teased, taking his face in your hands and wiping his tears away.

“I really am so sorry baby. I feel terrible.”

“It’s alright Ethan. You had a reason, and to be honest it was kinda fun being petty for a minute. I don’t get to do it often,” you said. He was already forgiven. To your surprise, instead of arguing, he took your wrist in his hand, turning it to look at the time on your watch.

11:58

“It’s still your birthday. Can I give you your present?”

“You got me a present?” You perked up.

“Of course I did, I’m not that shitty.”

“Gimme,” you smiled, holding out your hands. He smiled at that, putting his hands on your hips and lifting you off his lap. You watched him as he went to his closet, reaching behind one of his shoe boxes to pull out a small blue wrapped box, followed by an envelope. You made a grabby hand at it, making him chuckle as he handed them over.

“Which one should I open first?”

“You’re the birthday girl, you decide,” he grinned.

You opted for the envelope, pulling it open and looking inside. There were a few pieces of paper, but you chose the one with Ethan’s handwriting on it first. In his messy scrawl you read:

plus a shopping spree for anything you want to take with us :)

“Take with us? Where are we going?!” You exclaimed.

“Open the rest of it,” he urged.

You reached in and found two plane tickets to Maui.

“Holy shit! We’re going to Hawaii!?”

“We leave in two weeks. I figured it was about time we went there by ourselves. I got us a nice little villa to stay at, and we’re gonna go clothes shopping for whatever you want. Though, I do request you pick out many, many bikinis.”

You smacked his chest before you kissed him.

“This is too much. Way too much.”

“Not possible. Here, open this one. It’s not as exciting, but I think you’ll still like it.” He passed you the box and ripped off the paper. What else could he have possibly gotten you?

When you pulled open the box, you gasped. It was a beautiful ring, with a raw black crystal on it that had a tiny blue stone nestled in it. It was obviously hand crafted, and it was just your style.

“Ethan this is beautiful,” you said, picking it up and admiring it. “What kind of crystal is this?”

“It’s black tourmaline, and the little stone is zircon, which is my birthstone. Black tourmaline is for protection, so it’s my promise to you that I’m always going to keep you safe.” He took the ring from your hand and slid it onto your finger.

“I love you,” was the only response you could form as you crawled forward and settled yourself back in his lap. You kissed him hard, trying to say what you wanted without the words. No one had ever gotten you a gift so meaningful. He kissed you back, responding to each move you made, reciprocating as you lead, hands wandering.

He took you by surprise when he stood up, hands moving to your ass as he lifted you and carried you towards the door.

“Where are we going?” In all honesty, you didn’t care.

“I’m declaring it birthday week, and we’re celebrating every day. So we’re starting day two with cake.”

“I have sad news.”

His feet stopped and he looked at you, quirking an eyebrow.

“It’s not dairy free.”

He gasped a bit in mock hurt, but it turned into a smile that you kissed off his lips a moment later.

“Well then, I’ll just watch you eat cake and think of all the ways I’m going to spoil you until your next birthday to make up for this one.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

#this was so hard because I KNOW he would spoil the shit out of his girl for a bday #so this was the only realistic thing I could think of happening #i hope I did your request justice beeb!#thank you!!#lynds writes #ethan imagines #ethan dolan #the dolan twins #dolan twins imagines #ethan dolan imagine

294 notes · View notes

shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

liar, liar (1/2) bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

(ft sam wilson)

backstory - she can see the future (or versions of it) through dreams and visions; she can see someone's past and memories by touching them; and she can stop peoples actions with her mind. sam introduced her to bucky without knowing about her powers and they started dating. (OC superhero name: Arcana)

song: bruised and bloodied by seether

ps this song slaps and so does the album and god i just really love seether. okay im done now lol

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

when i woke up i sighed, feeling the bed next to me empty again. this was the third time this week that Bucky had woken up way before me and left before i even got to tell him good morning. it was starting to put a damper on my mood but i wasn't about to let him know that.

i shook my head, digging it deep into my pillow before sitting up and rubbing my face. when i opened my eyes back up they grew wider. Bucky was standing in the doorway with a half smile on his face and two mugs in his hands.

"hey."

he said quietly, not making a move yet.

"hey."

i said back, a little more chipper than i was expecting. i think the same went for him.

"coffee?"

i nodded, smiling back at him

"just the way you like it."

he said as he sat on the side of the bed in front of me.

"whats the special occasion?"

i asked before taking a sip, looking up at him over the top of the mug. he just shook his head.

"no special occasion."

i sent him a look as i lowered the mug.

"youre a terrible liar, you know that?"

he laughed a little bit.

"youd think id be better at it by now but i guess thats why they always kept my mouth shut."

i sent him a look.

"so?"

he huffed a breath deep out his nose.

"sam called."

i shook my head.

"no."

"come on y/n."

"buck you hate fighting-"

"and what would i do if he got hurt?!"

i sighed, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.

"damn you for being so caring."

i said sternly and he cracked a half smile.

"damn you for sticking around."

he quipped back and i laughed.

"when does he need us?"

°°°°°°°°°

i looked over his face as he stared at the floor. his jaw tightened and i could tell he didn't want to do this. he had done enough already.

"hey,"

i said softly, touching his face and turning him to look at me. he looked sad. or maybe it was disappointment.

"you know you don't have to do this right?"

i asked and his face changed again. maybe it was regret. he tried to avoid my gaze again but i side stepped him.

"hey, look at me. you dont have to do this. youre getting better, you are a good man."

i reassured. he nodded slowly, glancing over my face.

"i should've listened to you this morning."

i snorted.

"ive been telling you for a while that you should listen to me more but some how we always end up here."

i joked and he sent me a look.

"you two ready?"

Sam asked as he came up behind us and Bucky nodded. i frowned but nodded too anyways.

"they're coming in on the southside, so be ready."

he said, looking between us. then there was a clattering above us, making the three of us look up. in came a few men, descending from the ceiling in full tactile gear.

"god damnit john."

i said annoyed, turning to see him coming through the door looking all high and mighty.

"i heard you could use some back up."

he said and i rolled my eyes. i could tell buck and sam were just as surprised and annoyed.

"why is it that we can never do anything without you showing up?"

i asked and a smug look crossed his face.

"we do this bigger and better than you. and you arent exactly discreet. metal arm, jet pack, spandex; kinda stands out in a crowd."

"dont forget i can see your future john."

i seethed and he laughed.

"right, Arcana, i almost forgot."

Bucky touched my hip lightly.

"easy. we've still got time."

i looked to him and bit my tongue.

"we dont need your help."

i assured but he just ignored me. then a loud bang sounded from the south side.

"shit."

i mumbled under my breath, taking off in that direction after sam and bucky.

"hey hey hey."

bucky said, pushing me behind him. i frowned and a vision hit me.

"get down!"

i yelled, grabbing him and sam to pull them back as another bomb went off. the three of us fell to the ground, looking up as johns team made their way outside.

"your killing your team john!"

i yelled as he passed us too. another loud sound went off but this time it was something different. i closed my eyes as bullets rang through the air. i could see all of it flashing through my mind. then i reached out and grabbed buckys arm. i had seen him run after them and get shot and there was no way i was letting that happen.

"y/n, theyre gonna die, we have to do something."

then i looked at him.

"you stay here."

i demanded, standing and walking outside. there were many soldiers on the ground already, the few that were left were pointing guns at the so-called attackers, john was holding a gun to the leader. i had seen this, neither of them was a winner. i closed my eyes again and breathed deeply, holding all of them still. a second thought and their guns were to the ground, fists at their sides. when i opened my eyes they were all looking around confused. then i heard a gunshot, looking around just as confused.

"y/n!"

i heard from behind me, buckys arms hitting my back as i slouched into him, watching john shoot the leader between the eyes.

"hey, listen, stay with me."

bucky bargained, sam running up and standing over him as helped me slowly to the ground.

"didnt see that one coming."

i groaned as he pressed his flesh hand into the hole in my side.

"youre gonna be okay, okay? just stay with me."

i nodded.

"im sorry. i thought i could help them."

i said a little breathy, tears visibly appearing behind his eyes as he picked me up. i hissed at the sudden movement.

"you did help them."

i held my side, trying to breathe deeply.

"get her out of here."

sam said. i could feel bucky beginning to run as i closed my eyes, feeling the rain hit my face as the thunder rolled.

"please dont leave me."

he whispered.

"im not going anywhere."

i managed, rolling my head against his chest. the next thing i knew i was being placed on a bed and there were doctors surrounding me.

°°°°°°°°°

when i woke up again there was a beeping running through my ears. i felt completely out of my mind as i blinked slowly. it was like visions were coming to me in fast moving pictures unlike anything ive ever experienced.

"bucky."

i whined, scared, as i rolled my head back and forth.

"im here."

he said through a sniffle, taking my hand in his. i squeezed my eyes shut tightly as i saw our first date play out behind my eyes. it made me smile, seeing him fumble through his words as sam laughed at him. i blinked again before looking over at him. he looked like he had been crying for a while and i couldnt help feeling guilty for making him feel that way.

"dont look at me like that."

he said.

"like what?"

i asked innocently as he wiped his face.

"like you pity me."

i squeezed his hand.

"i have never in my life pitied you James Buchanan Barnes, and i dont intend on starting any time soon."

i wheezed out, coughing at the end. he let out a shaky breath.

"then why does it feel like it."

he managed and i ran my thumb over his hand.

"im sorry."

i said and he looked at me confused.

"for what?"

i cleared my throat.

"for hurting you."

he shook his head quickly.

"this isnt your fault. you couldnt have known john was going to shoot you. if anything this is on him."

"ill be sure to bill him."

i said through a laugh before groaning and placing my hand over the wound. then there was a knock at the door. it was sam.

"how are we doing in here?"

he asked lightly and i smiled at him, reaching out to him with the hand bucky wasnt holding.

"im all aces."

i said as he leaned down and hugged me as best as he could.

"im glad to see youre okay."

i nodded slowly.

"did you finish the mission?"

he hung his head low.

"the majority of the group got away. but we'll get em next time."

i sighed.

"dont do anything stupid without me."

i said with a wink and he laughed.

"its a little late for that id say."

he nodded towards me and i sent him a look.

"oh believe me, he shows up again ill give him something he wont forget."

"is that a promise?"

bucky piped up and i laughed, groaning after.

"you bet your ass it is."

#wattpad #x reader #Bucky Barnes #sam wilson #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #falcon #the falcon and the winter soldier #imagines #one shots #320

13 notes · View notes

nalgenewhore · 4 years

Text

Slipping Through My Fingers - Six

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter

warnings: none!

an: i know i usually post every other day, but i hit 700 followers today aaannndd im real happy so enjoy! this is the drama yall’ve been sittin pretty and waitin for

Elide glanced at herself in her mirror, popping her lips as her front door was practically bashed in.

Aelin was always an impatient brat, but tonight, Elide couldn’t blame her - they were finally getting to meet the mysterious Rowan and some of his friends as well. She knew her sister was inordinately anxious for this to go well.

Finally, Elide walked out of her bathroom, smoothing her hands down the fronts of her skin-tight jeans, and it looked like her door was just barely hanging on. Thank the gods for her deadbolt. “For Anneith’s sake, Ae, calm your titties, please.”

Elide sighed and unlocked her door, opening it to find her sister there, a slightly apologetic wince on her face. “Sorry! I’m nervous,” the blonde said, lifting her hand to run it through her locks, but she’d forgotten she’d thrown them up in a ponytail and so Aelin settled for picking at her cuticles. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, just gotta put on my shoes,” Elide said, “come in, maybe drink some water, calm down?”

Aelin entered and closed the door behind her, practically bouncing up and down uncontrollably. “I’ve been trying to calm down all day! I was pinning pleats and stabbed myself so many times.”

“You really like this guy, huh?”

A blush rose to Aelin’s cheeks and she ducked her head, “I don’t know! He’s just… you know? I like being around him, he’s… not really ‘nice’ but he’s nice, you know?”

Elide laughed softly, shaking her head. “No, I don’t, at all, but I get it. I’m happy for you, babe.”

“I’m happy for me too,” Aelin reached out and took Elide’s hand, squeezing once as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m really happy.” Breathing out and blinking, she smiled, “Ok, enough of that, can you get your shoes on please?”

“Bossy,” teased Elide, dropping her sister’s hand to sit down at her front hall bench and shove on her platform Doc Marten’s, lacing them up tight. “Pass me my jacket, darling?” She stood and held a hand out for the coat Aelin passed to her. Elide patted her pockets, feeling her phone, keys, and wallet. “Alright, I’m good to go.”

“Finally,” Aelin said, dragging Elide out into the hall. She was barely patient enough to wait for Elide to lock the door.

Aelin chattered nervously the entire drive to the pub, only talking faster when they picked up Nehemia.

Nehemia and Elide exchanged amused glances as they parked and Aelin practically threw herself from the vehicle, stopping herself from racing into the building when she remembered the two of them. “Sorry,” she said, smiling a bit as they walked over to her and were joined by Nesryn by herself.

“Hey, Ae, Lys had to work tonight,” Nesryn said, an apologetic furrow in her brow. “I’m sorry, she really wanted to meet him.”

“Oh,” Aelin replied, deflating slightly. “It’s ok, she can meet him another time, right? It’s fine, really, let’s go!”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Auntie D!”

Dresenda smiled as Kohana launched himself at her, wrapping his arms around her legs. “Hey, kiddo.” She reached down and picked him up, propping him up on her side. Kohana smiled widely, his hooded eyes crinkling and nearly disappearing with his joy as they pressed their noses together, as part of the Bogdano greeting. “Lorcan, what’s up?”

Lorcan smiled at his sister-in-law, “Nothing much, what about you?”

“Same old, same old,” Dresenda replied, tickling Kohana’s side. The adults both chuckled as he giggled and squirmed away from the fingers. “But really, how are you?”

Lorcan found it hard to look at her sometimes. They had always looked alike, her and Essar. That had changed after Dresenda had joined the military and risen up the ranks, becoming hardened. Desperation, that’s what it was. A desperation to see the love of his life again, in anything, anywhere. “I’m ok, really. Little man’s in school and he’s liking that, aren’t you, K-Man?”

“I love school, Dad. I love it.” Kohana corrected him. He turned to his aunt and began speaking Bogdano to her, conversing easily in one of his native tongues.

Dresenda smiled and responded in the same language, putting him down and letting him run off into the house she was assigned after being discharged.

“And how’re you, D?”

“Well, I’d like to think I’m going good. Got a new therapist, one that has actually been in active combat,” she said with an eye roll. Lorcan had heard it all before when she’d first arrived back in town, about how an active combat soldier should receive an active combat therapist. Civilians couldn’t understand it and he couldn’t blame her for that.

“That’s good. Thanks for watching him, again, I know it’s not what anyone really wants to do on a Saturday but—”

“Lorcan, for fuck’s sake, man. I genuinely enjoy looking after your kid. What is it with parents, thinking everyone else just dreads interacting with their demons?” She punched his shoulder and he grimaced.

“Ow, that hurt.”

“Oh, you’re a big boy, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Dresenda said, shaking her head. “Get out of here, go have fun, I’m gonna go corrupt your child.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Lorcan said, calling out a good-bye to his son who raced back towards him, his face stricken.

“Até!” Lorcan crouched and hugged Kohana, swearing he died when the little one hugged him tight and pressed his cheek against Lorcan’s shoulder. “Bye-bye, até.”

“Bye-bye, prince,” he said, brushing back Kohana’s long hair and kissing his forehead. “Be good for D, yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. D told me we could watch a movie!” The two adults chuckled at his obvious anticipation. “Love you.”

“Love you too, K-Man.” Kohana stretched up on his toes to leave a little peck on Lorcan’s cheek before he spun away and reached for Dresenda. “Have fun, D.”

“You too.” Dresenda and Kohana stayed on the porch as he walked away, waving the entire time.

When he got in his truck, his phone rang and he connected it to the car speaker so he could drive. “Ro, what’s up?”

“Where are you?”

“Gods, man, can you calm down? I’m dropping off my child, I’ll be there soon,” Lorcan said, rolling his eyes. “Why’re you so jumpy?”

“‘Cause I really like this girl and Fen’s fuckin’ AWOL, L!”

“Ok, stop yelling, I’m driving to his house right, now, geeze.”

“Wait, are you driving? Why are you on the phone—”

“Calm down, daddy, it’s hands-free,” Lorcan said, laughing through the sentence.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Then please remove your dick from my ass.”

Rowan groaned in frustration, “Mala fucking fry me, can you just pick up that fuckhead and get here faster?”

“Anything for my daddy.”

“Shut up.”

“Bye,” Lorcan crooned, “I love you.”

“Fuck off,” Rowan snarled. Lorcan waited patiently. “...iloveyoutoo.”

Lorcan laughed and hung up, slowing down in front of Fenrys’ house, where the golden-haired man was already waiting outside. When Lorcan honked his horn, he looked up from his phone and smiled, jogging out to the truck. “You ready to meet this chick?”

There was a smile Lorcan didn’t trust on his face and he gave Fenrys a suspicious look as he drove. “Yeah, I guess. I’m happy for him.”

“Well, me too,” Fenrys declared, still grinning.

“You’re freaking me out, what’s with the smile, Fen?”

“Nah, it’s nothing. Just excited, is all.”

“Alright,” Lorcan said, still wary. “Do you know any of her friends besides Mi?”

“Nossir. Ay, look at that, we’re here!” He was out of the car before Lorcan had parked the truck and stepped out, grabbing his beat-up jean jacket. Fenrys was waiting a metre away and waited for Lorcan before they stalked over to the pub’s entrance, where Rowan, Connall, and Vaughan were waiting.

“Finally, you’re here,” Rowan said, relief flooding his face.

“Hellas, you really like this girl, huh?”

Even under the darkness of the fall evening, they all saw Rowan’s cheeks flush as he ducked his head, “Yeah. I do.”

Fenrys jumped onto Lorcan’s back, “Well, then let’s meet her! Sooner I can tell her the story, the better!” They walked into the pub, Lorcan easily carrying Fenrys.

Time slowed as Rowan began threatening him into silence over a stupid and humiliating story from college, as Lorcan’s eyes landed on the corner booth where Nehemia sat and right next to her… Elide Lochan.

He was frozen in his spot, his mouth dropping open which seemed like his new thing around her, gawking. Lorcan was going to kill Fenrys. Maybe Nehemia too.

Probably having felt his gaze on her, Elide turned her head, an irritated expression on her face that faded into shock, closely followed by fury when Nehemia giggled and waved at him. Seeing her hit Nehemia’s arm with the back of her hand had Lorcan snapping out of his shock and dropping Fenrys unceremoniously, tersely telling Rowan to shut the fuck up. “Are you fucking kidding me, Fenrys?”

“What are you- oh, I see you saw Elide, hmm?”

“How long have you known,” Lorcan accused him, balling his hands into fists. “Fenrys.”

“Known what?” Connall asked, looking between his twin and Lorcan, who looked two seconds away from bashing Fenrys’ teeth in.

“The girl next to Nehemia is Kohana’s teacher. And I slept with her.”

Everyone waited with unimpressed expressions as Fenrys sighed, “Since poker night. Mia was out with her and pieced it together.”

Lorcan’s hackles raised and his fists twitched, his knuckles practically aching for the burst of pain when they collided with a face. Instead, he shoved Fenrys’ chest, making him stagger back a step. “You can’t fucking do that, Fenrys. What were you even trying to do?” He shook his head and didn’t wait for Fenrys’ response before he was grabbing Connall and Vaughan, dragging them to the bar.

“I’ll talk to him,” Connall said as they ordered drinks. “You know he ain’t mean nothing by it, bro.”

He did know that, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel manipulated or puppeteered. Lorcan just nodded vaguely and knocked back a shot and grumbled, “Let’s get this shit over with.”

He did feel a twinge of remorse as he watched the myth herself, Aelin, launch out of the booth to hug Rowan. Vaughan clapped him over the shoulder, whispering in their mother tongue, “Just give it a try, huh? You liked her enough to talk to her for at least three drinks.”

Lorcan rounded on his cousin, “You’re on his side?”

“No,” Vaughan placated, “but it’s Fenrys. Boyo thinks he’s the second coming of fucking Lumas or some shit. He’s a romantic.”

“He’s a fucking busyody.”

“Whatever. You coming or nah?”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide was watching in amusement as Aelin babbled on and on, clearly nervous as she sipped from her drink. Nehemia exchanged a weird look with Nesryn and Elide, raising her brows towards the chattering blonde.

“So,” Elide stated, interrupting Aelin’s rambling. “What are his friends like, Mia?”

Nehemia’s eyes twinkled with something Elide couldn’t read, “Oh, they’re nice I suppose. Very rowdy, very loud. All pretty boys, very nice to look at, Elide.”

She rolled her eyes and looked to the door when a group of loud men tumbled in. Elide recognized one of them immediately, as well as the dark-skinned man on his back. Lorcan. Carrying Fenrys.

Life froze and Elide watched Lorcan’s mouth drop open. His eyes flicked to the side and she followed his gaze to find Nehemia waving. “Oh my fucking gods, are you serious, Nehemia? Lorcan?”

Nehemia smiled serenely, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You so do! I saw you waving at him, what the fuck?” She smacked Nehemia’s arm with the back of her hand.

“Girl, come on,” Nehemia said, nudging her, “it’s kind of funny.”

Elide scowled, “You know, it really isn’t. Not telling me that the guy I slept with, who also happens to be the father of one of my students, is also your husband’s friend? And Aelin’s boyfriend’s friend too?”

Nesryn’s eyes widened, but Aelin didn’t notice anything as she jumped out of the booth and ran to meet a silver-haired man. Nehemia slipped out to greet Fenrys and Nesryn moved to sit next to Elide. “You don’t have to talk to him, you know. I’ll ignore him with you,” she offered, smiling when Elide chuckled and leaned into her side.

“Thanks, but I should probably be an adult and be polite. It’s not like he’s dying to talk to me either.”

“El, Nes! Come meet everyone,” Aelin called, beckoning them over with eyes that read: If you don’t come over right now I will gut you two.

Rolling their eyes, they tossed back the rest of their drinks and stood up, walking over to the rest of the group. Lorcan caught her eyes and nodded once, acknowledging the awkwardness of the scenario. Elide relaxed a bit as Aelin pulled her to her side. “Hey, I’m Elide, Ae’s little sister,” she said, sticking her hand out to Rowan. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Rowan looked nervous as well and his eyes darted around the group, mainly telling some sort of message to his friends before he took her hand and smiled, “I’m Rowan, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Fenrys coughed and smirked, but Nehemia swiftly elbowed him. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Introductions were made all around and the larger group moved back to the booth. Elide and Lorcan both scowled at Nehemia and Fenrys, respectively, when the meddling couple forced them together, making them sit side by side. Nehemia mouthed, Talk to him!

Sighing, Elide mustered up all her willpower and turned to Lorcan, “So what is it that you do? I’ve been wondering - you’re always covered in grease and wear overalls a lot.”

Lorcan loosed a chuckle and drank some of his whiskey, “I’m a mechanic. I work at the same shop as Ansel and Fenrys.” At the mention of Fenrys’ name, they both frowned for a split second, but after, they were visibly more comfortable.

Elide hummed and accepted the Manhattan Nehemia slid her way in apology with a forgiving smile and a slight eye roll in response to her friend’s triumphant smile and not-so-subtle eyebrow wiggle. “I admit I’ve been confused about something else.”

He rose a brow in question and looked down at her. She flashbacked to the fateful night and felt her cheeks heat. “Yes?”

“How old are you,” she blurted, thankful for the other conversations at the table so that no one would hear her bumbling words. “It’s just- you look so young and you have a kid, too.”

Chuckling, he said, “Haven’t you ever heard it’s rude to ask someone their age?” Elide rolled her eyes and jabbed his side with her elbow. “Hey, ow, I bruise easy,” Lorcan joked. She rolled her eyes again. “Fine, fine, got married the summer after highschool to the love of my life and she got pregnant a couple months after we graduated university. I’m twenty-five. How old are you?”

“Twenty-four,” she said, running her finger over the rim of her glass. “What’d you go to university for?”

“Mechanical engineering. Got a job at a firm and realized I hated it so I got a job at Malakai’s. Been there ever since.”

“Are you any good?”

He looked quizzically at her, nodding. “Yeah, I’m good at what I do. Why?”

Elide waved her hand vaguely, “I just moved here and I have a vintage VW that’s prone to throwing temper tantrums and breaking down on me. I’ve been meaning to look for someone since I’ll be driving more ‘cause it’s getting colder now.”

Lorcan bobbed his head and turned to Fenrys, “Marama, you got a business card on you?”

Fenrys perked up and opened his mouth to say something that would no doubt irritate both Lorcan and Elide. Thankfully, Nehemia deterred him and he passed one over. “Yeah, here you go.”

Lorcan took it and fished a pen out of his jacket, scribbling something on the back of the smooth paper. He handed it to her, tapping the back with a long finger, “Call whenever you need to.”

It was a number with his name beneath it. Elide traced it with the tip of her now-clear with iridescent butterflies acrylic before putting it in the back pocket of her tight jeans, smiling easily at him. “Thanks. I’m probably due for an oil change soon, so you’ll get to meet Betsy soon.”

“You call your VW ‘Betsy’?”

Elide laughed and nodded, “Yeah, what do you call your truck?”

“I don’t call my truck anything, the K-Man on the other hand…” Lorcan trailed off and shook his head. It had to come up eventually, the subject of Kohana. Less awkward than she thought it’d be. “He has a name for it.”

“Oh really? And what’s that?”

“Fillmore.”

Elide choked on her mouthful of alcohol, laughing incredulously. “Like the hippie van in Cars?”

Lorcan winced and nodded, “The exact one.” He smiled at her laughter and didn’t see the looks exchanged by their table mates.

They chatted easily, like that same night, but there wasn’t anything expected or alluded to. Just talking, no big deal.

Her drink was soon empty, as was his, and they both stood up from the booth to get another. Elide walked ahead of him and he unashamedly drank in her curves wrapped in blue jeans and a tight black top, exposing the ink on her back as well as the delicate laurel leaves on her collarbones.

He admired the coiled wyvern taking up most of the space on her back, recognizing the decidedly Frozen Wastes and Ironteeth influence in the artwork. The last time he’d seen her skin, he hadn’t exactly been focused on her tattoos, but thinking back on it now, he should’ve been. It was stunning, just like the rest of her.

Oh fucking hell, those drinks must’ve been stronger than he’d thought because there was no way his sober mind would’ve thought that.

Elide leaned against the bar and Hellas save him, he should’ve had more self control than to stare at her ass for as long as he did.

A group of college boys passed between him and Elide, separating them for a few moments, just long enough for some skinny kid to walk up behind Elide and put his hand on her lower back.

Lorcan stiffened, his grip on his empty glass tightening, as she did too. After the guy said a few words, she laughed and spun to the side, leaning back against her elbows. “L, baby?”

She had a look in her eyes, one Lorcan knew better than to mess with so he walked up to her, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah?”

“Will you buy me a drink?” she asked, pouting and batting her lashes as she glued herself to his side, fitting under his arm. “Pretty please?”

Go with it, her eyes said and he obliged her, a hand fitting perfectly on her waist. “Whatever my girl wants.”

“Oh, I’m- sorry, I didn’t know,” the other guy said, not that they were focusing on him any longer. Elide didn’t even notice when he’d left, but Lorcan did and he semi-reluctantly stepped away, putting that distance back between them.

“So what about that drink, Salvaterre?”

Lorcan laughed deeply, nodding in confirmation. “Yeah, you know what you want, kid?” Elide did not care for that nickname one bit.

I do know what I want, she thought to herself. And it wasn’t any damned drink.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @superspiritfestival @empress-ofbloodshed @queen-of-glass @sleeping-and-books @beccasophia95 @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thewayshedreamed @hizqueen4life @ifinallygavein @bat-wing-rhys @awkward-avocado-s @b00kworm @mu-si-ca-l @lovemollywho @tacmc @soitsgorgeous @staarligght

#slipping through my fingers #stmf chapter six #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #kohana #isa writes #nalgenewhore

161 notes · View notes