#and then become mentally ill :)

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[autumnalmess]

Hey man sorry I've not posted in a while, it's a funny story actually. I actually got arrested for stealing bread for my sister and her seven starving children. yeah, it was pretty bad. I tried to escape 3 times so yeah I got 19 years, yeah and then I broke my parole and now there's this slutty little man after me, yeah I think he has a crush on me or smt idk

#jean valjean #javert #bro im so sorry i fully ABANDONED that fanfiction #ive become the very thing i sought to destroy #I'll probably go back to it at some point.... #les miserables #victor hugo #les mis #les misposting #valvert #in all seriousness I'm really sorry if you were committed to the fic i know a lot of people were but im going through the incredibly #horrible palaver of completely losing interest in a hyperfixation #who knows maybe one day ill go mental and write all of the rest of it

[writer-room]

Its so funny that Arin and Sora have shown to have significantly better emotional intelligence than any of the ninja from all of the old seasons combined. "You should be taking care of your mental health" and "yeah saving the world is upsetting! no wonder you're having stress dreams" oh my precious children. You are surrounded by a teen dad with massive self-worth issues, the only one of two people who remembers the genie incident and also turned into the sea once, guy who's died like 3+ times and committed genocide under mind control, and a child soldier who's been living the hard knock life since age 2.

I hope to god you two are prepared to witness the most mentally unwell behavior you've seen in your entire teenage lives. You think you've already seen how bad it can get now? Fools. Just wait until you get a mission involving the Departed Realm

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #lego ninjago #arin #sora #ninjago ninja #text post #departed realm #i wouldnt say 'prepare to become the team therapist' because lets be frank #its not even a matter of 'they wouldnt make the kids their therapists' #its literally just bc they would literally never get to that point #because that implies talking about their problems. like an normal person #what do you mean that random fits of rage or fcking off into oblivion from time to time isnt healthy #this is how i cope! this is a perfectly reasonable way to cope #arin and sora are watching the most mentally ill people alive fray at the seams before their eyes #theyre like the monkey side-eye meme warily looking at each other like are #are they good??? are they good..... #then they hit the departed realm and suddenly all that morro & ghost cole trauma FLOODS back #and theyre just like OH THEY ARE NOT GOOD

[honeypleasejustkillme]

with how life has been going this year, i’m contemplating suicide more than ever before

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #my entire life is going to absolute shambles and i feel like a fish flopping out of water.. nothing has gone well this year for me #everything has gotten significantly worse.. to the point of feeling like there’s no uphill this time #i’ve become so numb to life at this point that if one more bad thing happens i’m calling it quits #i’m tired of living like this #i CANT live like this #i physically cannot take any more this year

[tsukinoshinjiu]

"...They're unsightly." "Not at all. They're part of you."

#my art #artwork #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #linked universe #lu legend #lu ravio #link x ravio #ravioli #legend linked universe #gonna become the ravioli CEO watch me #they make me mentally ill #can still be platonic if you squint #scars #cw scars #scars cw

[waitineedaname]

my inner monologue is just always thinking about ritsu way too hard

#mp100 #ritsu kageyama #I wrote this as a stream of consciousness in the ms paint text box and then it literally. wouldn't fit. #and I couldn't make the text any smaller #so i had to switch to GOOGLE DRAWINGS to make this #I know this is hard to read but that adds to the humor to me lsdkjflkjdf #I'm just. ouuuughhghhg every time I think about him too hard I want to explode #I was also going to make a companion piece talking about his autism in comparison to mob's #but it's late. you guys can get the autism essay later if you want #I am going to become the number one ritsu poster through sheer mental illness alone #ritsu brain syndrome. instead of a brain there is ritsu #spinning him in my mind like that one bit from the season one opening

[yukipri]

If someone told me I was a handsome, perfect little boi as frequently as I say it to my cats, I too would probably walk around like I owned the place, sitting on/knocking over whatever I please

#YukiPri rambles #cats #cat #now i did think of turning this into a mental health 'so u should talk to yourself like you're a cat to boost your ego' sorta thing #but then I was like u know what actually i think i'd rather not #it is great to boost low egos but also we as a society should not strive to all become as ill-mannered and destructive as cats can be #even if yes they are all perfect lil critters

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos' #and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES) #sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-; #the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

[naofaun]

It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.

Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.

Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?

Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.

Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.

But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.

Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.

#obviously everyone is different #journaling my feelings and telling myself that my friends are so awesome that they deserve other friends #will not help every single person that gets jealous #but as a polyamorous person who has bpd and forms fps on my partners most often #ive learned how to cope with my jealousy without becoming overbearing and mean #it took me nearly my entire teenage life and im still nowhere near perfection #this isnt an instant process and im never going to stop feeling jealous #but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it #{ ♡ } nao : misc . . . #jealousy #jealous #relationships #relationship troubles #bpd #borderline personality disorder #npd #narcassistic personality disorder #i dont know how common jealousy is in npd but it sure affects me a lot so #umm #mental illness #mental health #mental health advice #mental health support #bpd help #bpd support

[shroom-tea-enjoyer]

frankenstein stuff!!

i liked that sketch so mush that i drew it again lmao

someone said they liked my victor "to bits" and i was like SLDKJOIHJFODIEHSFSOFUHFSOIH and drew more of him. my interpretations of victor and his creation have been getting a lot of love in general so thanks yall for that!!

#every time someone says they like my victor or creature design i become less mentally ill #also #i cant draw moustaches :( #frankenstein #the modern prometheus #mary shelly's frankenstein #victor frankenstein #frankensteins creature #frankenstein art

[raticalshoez]

Man, there is just something so fascinating to me about the Boat Boys because I think their relationship has always been akin to like...the rockiest of waters (pun intended). I've just been thinking so much about it...

In 3rd Life, funnily enough, one of their first interactions was just them riding a boat together. In Last Life, Joel ended Etho's series. Even before being soulbonded they've had that sort of "me and the bestie/can't stand his fakeass" dynamic.

If anything was evident in Double Life, it's that they had fun together. It's safe to say they probably weren't the most loyal to one another, mainly due to Etho and his Bdubs withdrawal, but it would be wrong to say that they didn't enjoy each other's company. They both have the urge to cause chaos, but one's more upfront about it and the other is more subtle. They complimented each other and balanced out the other, and when the time came around, they died together poetically.

Limited Life was definitely...a season for Joel and Etho interactions. This season was filled with animosity, and constant jabs, and bitter callbacks to a past life. Boat Boys this season were just killing or insulting each other left and right, not finding a moment of comfort or piece around each other.

Then there's Secret Life. This one in particular makes me kind of insane because there's both the animosity and bite to their words when they're interacting with one another, but there was also sincerity. For a brief moment, these two were able to express genuine care that they still had for one another, and that's just crazy to me. Both Joel and Etho's characters don't know sincerity and always deal more mushy, heartfelt things awkwardly, so this was CRAZY for me. And it always hits harder for me because I've always just imagined Joel and Etho's relationship to just be a very strong, platonic bond. They have people who they are definitely closer to; Joel has people like Lizzie, Grian and Jimmy, and Etho has people like Bdubs, Cleo, and Tango. Those are people that they tend to naturally gravitate towards, but the two of them will always end up crossing paths. And well, that's what being soulmates is really about, right? It's not really about romance; it's about being bound to find this particular person in every universe, no matter what.

Out of all the people on the server, I never expected it to be them. Etho and Joel, the two guys who never seemed to be able to let go of their soul bond when everyone else had moved on to some capacity.

It's like how Martyn never left winter. It's like how Jimmy and Tango will always be each others' ranchers even though they no longer reside at the ranch. It's like how Scar and Grian know monopolies better than anyone. Cleo will always be caught up on BigB's betrayal and Lizzie will remain bitter about Cleo's destructive tendencies towards her home. Impulse will never let go of Bdubs' betrayal. It's the way Scott seems somewhat attached to literally ALL of his exes. The lifers just cannot be normal about each other and every new season adds to their insanity regarding one another.

If you've reached the end of this, I commend you. I'm not adding anything new to this conversation, I'm just yapping and blabbling about the Minecraft series that changed my life and altered my brain chemistry. These worms eat at my neurons everyday and I just HAVE to tell somebody, ANYBODY about my insanity.

#trafficblr #ethoslab #smallishbeans #double life smp #secret life smp #have i just become a boat boys fan account what is this #i blacked out and i just has words on my screen #will anyone even read this thing all the way through or will i just appear mentally ill #it is 2 am and i am just lying in bed writing this on my phone #boat boys #forgot that tag again

[disabledprincesses]

Whats the first thing you would do if you woke up completely healthy and abled?

#id personally go back to college and become a teacher #disability #disabled #spoonie #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic pain #mental health #mental illness

[heal-is-real]

#self improvement #self care #mental health #positive thoughts #healing journey #positivity #self healing #positive mental attitude #self love #self care is not selfish #positive mindset #that girl #becoming that girl #mental growth #mental wellness #health and wellness #healing #positive thinking #inner peace #inner child #trauma #self growth #personal growth #actually mentally ill #love quotes #keep going #mental health awareness #do it for yourself #do it for her #gentle reminder

[rapidhighway]

eggman hates sonic, he'd probably hate it if metal actually behaved like him

#i mean sonics biggest thing is freedom and his agency so egg probably loooves having metal #who has to listen to every order and can never say no to him and has basically no free will and no voice and no way to rebel #i like to think eggman loves metal because he's his creation but hates him because hes got a little bit of sonic in him #umm ok #i will become mentally ill #metal sonic

[youmustfixyourheartt]

personally i think the backlash coming from de-gothing gerry has less to do with peoples personal and differing headcanons and more to do with the fact that as soon as he was mentioned to be happy, people could no longer see him as goth. which is. Not Good. as a goth, there are very few examples of happy goths in media, because people subconsciously equate being goth with trauma or mental illness. and this isn't to say that people whose goth identity overlaps or is directly connected to their trauma or mental illness are wrong or invalid! It's actually the opposite. again, you can headcanon him however you want it's all up to you, but i have seen people saying that because he is happy there is no longer a need for him to have "badly dyed hair" or to be goth, as if these are universal indicators of someones happiness. i'd urge you to think about the implications of that.

#this is coming from someone who is mentally ill and goth by the way #and yeah people can have badly dyed hair and be goth BECAUSE they are sad and thats okay #but to assume this is the universal measurment (even subconsiously) of happiness or stability is wrong #from my personal experience i and other goths have felt happier after becoming involved in the scene and subculture #and this isnt me stopping you from headcanoning him as not goth by the way that would be absurd #its just important to try and realise that sometimes we have subconscious beliefs or biases about certain groups #stickers lore #tmagp #gerry keay #tma

[roach-in-the-kitchen]

YOU HAVE TO HOLD IZZY LIKE A CHICKEN!!! THE WAY THAT FANG HAD WRESTLE HIM AND BASICALLY PIN HIS ARMS TO HIS SIDES. YOU HAVE TO HOLD HIM LIKE A FUCKING CHICKEN. TELL ME THAT THIS

AND THIS

AREN'T THE SAME PICTURE!!

YOU CAN'T

THEY ARE THE SAME PICTURE

(except for one is more emotionally devastating)

#our flag means death #izzy hands #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd 2 spoilers #I'M GOING TO KMS OMG #I CAN'T HANDLE THIS #THIS MAN MAKES ME TOO MENTALLY ILL #I CANNOT CONTROL THE PERSON IM ABOUT TO BECOME FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS #LIKE SERIOUSLY