#baron u are everything 2 me

[keery]

Joe Keery as Baron Marmalade (2024) dir. Keir O'Donnell

#marmalade #marmalade spoilers #joe keery #joekeeryedit #jkeeryedit #filmedit #filmgifs #fyeahmovies #dailyflicks #userspree #userallisyn #usersugar #userkam #userashe #userclara #tuserdee #* #baron u are everything 2 me

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #9 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #9 - pour up pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: welcome to your "fuck it" era. you ran away and haven't returned back to the house since the fight with yoongi and jimin. you're not sure how namjoon hasn't caught on to anything yet... but now taehyung, hoseok, and jungkook just invited you to go out to party at some random frat not at your campus and get you to destress from the drama. oh you're going to destress alright. pour up a drink and well, you might... regret... this decision... warnings:  ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER, flashback pov, angsty, stressful, alcohol consumption, dance battle, FIGHTING, multiple fights?, blood mention, crying, THE TRUTH, AND MORE CONFESSIONS, txt appearance, sakura appearance, soyoon and john eun and san appearance, jin lowkey snitching, ANGRY NAMJOON, soft namjoon, throwing up, kissing, SMUT, creampie, fingering, no other smut warnings it's a surprise but its very tame no worries, reader is on BC, good end?, EXTRA POV at the end, a lot happens i can't remember hehehe maybe i am drunk too note: again pls send love to @daegudrama who is in charge of editing these terrible chapter total word count: 14.3k drop date:  April 12th, 2024, 6:00PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #8 | Series Masterlist | #10

March 1st [Friday]

It’s been 2 weeks.

2 weeks since the fight.

2 weeks since you have last been “home”.

That’s not to say you haven’t taken a shower or changed out of your clothes since then. God, no.

You’ve been staying in Hwasa’s dorm ever since. Her roommate went on an immersion program abroad, so she has no roommate for this semester. Luckily, you’ve had access to her dorm’s shared bathroom to freshen up and her roommates' baron bed.

As for clothes and other stuff, Jungkook has been bringing you everything you need. He’s the only one you can rely on from the house as you’ve always been the most comfortable around him outside of Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. He’s also the one who knew about the deal and didn’t tell anyone, aside from blabbering to Jimin back in October. 

You’re not 100% sure what the aftermath was like in that house after you left. But one thing for sure is that the other guys—not involved in the deal—have covered up things to Joon about your disappearance. They know how rocky things are, and if Namjoon knew all of this, you think it could make things a million times worse. You appreciate them stepping in like that though, no matter what they think of the situation.

Jungkook did attempt to recap it all through text, rather thoroughly.

+++++++++++

 — past —

February 15th [Friday]

“You guys done fucked things up now. A three-way relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin was seething as he scolded Jimin and Yoongi in the living room. The other guys were sitting at the dining table as Jin told them that they had to stay for this ordeal. They sat there in silence, waiting for this to (hopefully) end as soon as possible.

If the argument from earlier didn’t sober everyone up, then Jin’s yelling definitely did.

“And you! Taehyung! What were you thinking asking that?!” Jin pointed his finger at Taehyung.

“Huh? Me!? Jimin was the one who told me to ask something risky if Yoongi pulled that block.” Tae tried to avert his gaze from the older man. 

Everyone groaned. Jenga blocks still remained scattered on the table and on the floor of the living room. Unfinished snacks and drinks remained a mess around the table as well. Jin made a mental note to make Yoongi and Jimin clean up the aftermath of Friday Night Game Night as punishment for what happened.

“But you know what, I expected something like this at some point. Hoseok and Taehyung, please pay up. I take Venmo.” The two men—that Jin name dropped—groaned, pulling out their phones to send him the money. “Hyung, what the hell, man?!” Jimin glanced at them back and forth, appalled. Even Yoongi was confused that there was something like this going on, but he really shouldn’t be the one judging right now. “What? Did you think we didn’t suspect anything? That y’all were slick? There were signs...” Jin’s words drifted off.

“Like?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well should I mention the blowjob that Honey gave you in Mr. Kang’s office?” Hoseok interjected as he turned around from his chair. Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What the fuck? H-How did you—” He stumbled on his words. Hoseok didn’t come in until after it ended, he thought. How would he have known!?

“The door may have been closed, but people approaching the door can still hear what goes on behind it. Especially in that old ass building…” Hoseok sighed, “Thought it was just you jacking off in there at first, but when I heard you say, and I quote,  ‘Fuck. You really drive me crazy. You know that, Sunshine?’ I connected the dots quickly. I sat out there waiting until it ended so I could come in to drop my shit.” He emphasized, leaving Yoongi completely speechless.

“Jimin sent me Y/N’s nudes accidently one night!” Taehyung stood up from his chair in an instant, abruptly confessing. “He unsent them, but I caught it! He had to fes’ up to me after that. I thought it was just the both of them in a situationship. Then when Jin said Yoongi hyung was also involved, I couldn’t believe that. But I started connecting the dots during the trip.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin, snarling a bit. Trying to avoid further questioning, Jimin mouths out to him that it happened while he was drunk when he stayed over at Taehyung’s during Christmas break. Though of course, Yoongi cannot read his lips.

“I didn’t lose the bet because I always knew there was a possibility it wasn’t just hyung and Honey after I caught them having sex. Especially based on the conversation Jimin and I had during his birthday party. So I was on Jin’s side.” Jungkook added, then he shrugged. 

“Interesting. Yoongi had told me about a dilemma he had with someone he was seeing. Jimin was also acting a little too clingy to Honey than usual, so I put the pieces together and realized what these two were doing. I thought I was wrong, but Jesus Christ…” Jin sat down in the loveseat, wondering if he had failed as president of Beta Tau Sigma. Should he have not let you move in to prevent this? Or should he have brought it up privately to you three and warned you all not to do it? Whatever scenario he thinks of doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Now people are hurt and humiliated. He has to step it up to help you guys in any way, especially you. “Does Namjoon hyung know?” Taehyung inquired, earning everyones’ immediate deadpan stare at him. The silent action makes it seem that there is a shared understanding of something. No one wants Namjoon to know what happened. They know that if he finds out, they might have to be ready for their own funerals. “No.” Yoongi answered. “Fair enough. So what’s the plan now?” He followed up with another question. “We don’t even know where Honey went? Is she even somewhere safe?” Taehyung’s attitude towards this situation has been nonchalant, but in reality, he was actually very concerned for your mental wellbeing. He may be a social butterfly fuckboi, but whatever Jimin and Yoongi hid from you was a new low to him. You weren’t very close to him before, but he has grown fond of you in the past 2 years he’s known you. “We’re not telling Namjoon hyung that’s for sure!” Jungkook chimed in, scrolling at his recent messages. “I texted Hwasa because it’s the first person I thought she’d go to. She said that Honey was with her, asleep on her bed. Doesn’t seem like Honey wants to come back anytime soon.”

The guys let out a sigh of relief, though guilt shadowed Jimin and Yoongi. Feeling worn out, Jimin decided to get up from his spot, stumbled a bit and headed up to his room. Jin’s about to follow in pursuit to get him to come back and help clean up, but Yoongi stopped him. “Just let him be, I’ll help clean up if you need it,” The cat-eyed man said, reading into Jin’s intentions. “He’s already mentally punishing himself over this.”

After this, the other guys went into their rooms and called it a night. Yoongi remained in the dimly lit living room area, cleaning the mess that was left behind and reflecting on his frustrations. +++++++++++

You asked Jungkook about Namjoon. You knew that he would start to find things suspicious and eventually interrogate everyone about your whereabouts, like the older sibling figure he is. But Jungkook said that wasn’t the case. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:24PM]: No, Hyung’s been holed up in his room working on his polisci papers or in the lib’s lab room helping his buddies with stuff.

Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: He did ask about you though. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: But me and tae said that you’ve been busy working on a mid-semester project with her so you would be staying over at her dorm for a while. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:27PM]: Yoongi hyung and Jimin have been closed off since then, but Namjoon hyung hasn’t noticed much.

You keep going through your past texts between Jungkook and rereading what was sent. There are more messages from him mentioning that Jimin and Yoongi have been more standoffish towards others, making you feel concerned for them. Wait. No. You shake your head. Why are you even worried? They were the ones who started it. Did they not realize that things were better off platonic, instead of messing with your heart?

You breathe out, locking your phone. You go back to lying down on your side on the bed, closing your eyes to stop yourself from spiraling. The door suddenly unlocks, and the creaking sound marks Hwasa's entrance into the dorm. Opening your eyes, you observe her movements as she places her backpack on the desk. “Hey Hon, did you go to your class at noon?” She asks, her eyes searching yours. You nod, answering, “Yeah, couldn’t skip it today. Professor Watanabe said we were having a quiz because no one asked questions last class. Came back here after class.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Hwasa comes over to settle on your bed, arranging a throw pillow against the wall for comfort. She shifts her position, making herself at home. "How are ya feeling?"

“Better than before, but still not that great.”

“Maybe you should go out tonight. I think Nu Kappa is having a party tonight? Oh wait, Sigma Lambda is for sure having a house party. Let me check in with Joshua for that one because–”

“No.” You cut her off, though the word coming out of your mouth sounded much harsher than you had wanted it to. “I just don’t want to be around people that I know or potentially know me. Or just run into them.” You refer to Yoongi and Jimin with that line, maybe even Namjoon too. 

You want to talk this whole thing over with them, but you’re not ready yet. You just can’t organize your thoughts yet, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s the anxiety of knowing that a conversation about this would eventually lead to you guys to cut off contact completely. And that could be it. Maybe that’s for the better. 

You will move out of the Beta Tau Sigma house.

Maybe you can ask Student Housing if they’d be willing to let you officially move into Hwasa’s dorm for the rest of the semester.

Yeah, you can manage to make this work out. But is it what you really want?

No. Of course not. But at this point in time, you can’t imagine this going any other way. “My bad, girl. I just wanted to help cheer you up.” Hwasa’s expression becomes somber.

No, no. You didn’t mean it like that. Why can’t your brain work properly?! “No, it’s just— sorry.” You apologize, trying to think of something to brighten up the mood. “But if you want to go out, don’t let me stop you, bestie! Maybe you want to see a special someone out.” 

Hwasa lets out a giggle, “It’s okay, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” She places her hand on your back to give you reassuring rubs. “But I’ll take that suggestion. Joshua told me his friend is making his DJ debut at Sigma Lambda so I wanted to drop by and support.”

Concern crosses your face, “That sounds pretty awesome, but are you okay going alone? I can go with you if you want.” She shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I don’t want to force you to be there when you’re not feeling too hot. I’ll hit up Annie and ask if she’s down to come with me.” “Okay, that sounds good.” You reply, appreciating her understanding and the attempt to bring some normalcy back into the evening.

+++++++++++

Hwasa was in luck because Annie did respond not long after she sent her a text. She invited Hwasa to get ready over at her dorm, which was the nice apartment-like dorm on the northernmost part of campus. Hwasa says that she might come back late, but more than likely, thinks she’ll be knocked out at Annie’s dorm. She’ll keep you posted. Before she leaves that night, she gives you her access card (since you’ve been entering her dorm before thanks to the shared bathroom she has with the 2 girls in the next dorm) and tells you to feel free to go out to get something for dinner. After that happens, you’re left alone now. The Hello Kitty clock on Hwasa’s table read, “8:46 PM” Maybe you should grab something to eat. You honestly haven’t been eating properly. But you are tired of the dining hall food after almost two weeks of eating it. You hated it even when you used to dorm last year. “Maybe I’ll order from DoorDash to treat myself after a tough week,” You say to yourself while you lay down on Hwasa’s big fluffy pink floor rug. Netflix movie night and take-out sounds ideal, right?

Just as you’re scrolling through your phone trying to find an option you’re craving, you hear a loud knock at the door. 

Oh shit.

It’s not Hwasa, right? She would’ve texted you that she was coming back because she forgot something. Then is it the RA? No. Hwasa said she was cool with him, so he wouldn’t snitch you out. Did something else happen?

You get up from your comfortable position to walk towards the door. You’re not gonna lie, you’re a little nervous to open it.

Who the fuck could it even be on a Friday night?

You open it slowly, seeing tall figures coming into view.

“Honey, come out!” “Taehyung!?” You yelp out. Once you recognize the voice, you rapidly open the door wide enough to find Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok on the other side. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” You ask. You don’t remember telling them to come over. Even if you did, there’s not much they can do in such a small dorm. This is the first time in two weeks you’re talking to any of the other guys besides Jungkook. “We came over because we want to invite you out,” Hoseok responds this time, signature heart smile showing. “We know you haven’t been feeling well so we want to go with you and let loose!”

You’re getting deja vu from the same conversation you had with Hwasa earlier.

“So go get changed out of your…pajamas.” Jungkook looks down at you as he speaks, somewhat checking you out. A thought in your mind just clicks that he was looking at your chest, wearing no bra and cleavage all out. Men… You’ve been wearing your lace tank top and My Melody pajama pants since you got back from class. You didn’t have any plans of going out after class, so why be dressed up in tight jeans, a shirt and whatever else for the whole day? 

“Look, guys. That sounds like a mighty plan you got there, but I really don’t think I should go.” “But why not? There’s nothing better than drinking and forgetting your regrets! Please come with us!” Taehyung steps in closer, trying to welcome himself inside.

“Because… I’m feeling a little sick…?” The guys look at you in complete disbelief before you admit the truth. “Okay, fine, I don’t want to party around here and see these people.”

“Who said we’re partying here?” Jungkook smirks, “No, we’re going… somewhere else.” “Where is this ‘somewhere else’ you speak of?” You narrow your eyes, mild interest sparking behind them.

“Stop asking so many questions and just get ready. I’ll even help you pick out something.” Hoseok takes this as an opportunity to enter the dorm, where you direct him to your closet of stuff. The two other guys follow in as well and stand there as Hoseok is sifting through the rack mixed with jeans, blouses, skirts and sweaters.  

“Here, this is cute.” He hands you your black heart ring detail halter top, flared jeans, and a black knit cardigan. “Oh, this isn’t that bad of a look? No wonder people say you’re the most stylish on the dance team.” 

Hoseok grins, his eyes lighting up with pride at the compliment. "Well, you know, I've got an eye for these things. Now, go change into this. The night may be young, but we’re not getting any younger here!"

You take the outfit from him, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Hobi. I appreciate it." You look back at the guys who are still standing in the dorm, chuckling. "Um alright, can you guys step outside the door while I change?"

“Oh whoops!” Jungkook yells out, The three guys scurry out of the dorm, giving you a moment of privacy to change. 

Hoseok calls after you behind the door, "Let me know if you need any makeup tips! I'm a pro at this too."

You chuckle, appreciating the effort to lighten the mood. In the bathroom, you quickly change into the outfit Hoseok picked out. It's a mix of your style but with a touch of Hoseok's fashion flair. The black heart ring detail halter top fits snugly, paired with flared jeans and a cozy black knit cardigan. You glance at yourself in the mirror, the reflection showing a slightly different version of you.

After a deep breath, you open the door, greeted by the approving nods and smiles of Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Taehyung claps his hands together. "Looking good! Now, let's get out there and have some fun!"

With excitement now in the air, you grab your bag before you go and you all head out the building.

+++++++++++

Jungkook leads the way to his car, a sleek 2017 Mercedes-Benz C300 parked in the student parking lot next to Hwasa's dorm. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the polished surface, and you can't help but appreciate the comfortable luxury of his car. You will always remember that he begged his parents to sign off on it so he could get it as his graduation gift.

Jungkook unlocks the doors, and you all pile in, anticipation building for the night ahead.

The drive is filled with a mix of laughter and excited chatter as you navigate through the city. The atmosphere in the car is lively, the previous stress of weeks ago momentarily forgotten as you stare out of the car looking at the skyline of city lights on the freeway. It feels less suffocating over here. No Jimin. No Yoongi. No Namjoon. Just you and the other boys. You weren’t too keen on coming along with them, but now that you’re sitting here, DEAN’s Pour Up bass boosted on the car speakers, you know you made a good choice. You gotta let loose.

After 20 minutes on the road, Jungkook exits off the freeway into a residential area. As he finds a parking spot, you can hear the distant bass of music and the chatter of college students walking around. Is this another college’s Greek row?  The car engine turns off, and you all step outside looking around the neighborhood.

You're immediately struck by the grandeur of the fraternity houses. They are much bigger than the ones at your college campus, their size and architecture exuding an air of privilege. These houses are easily identifiable by the prominent display of large Greek letters or flags proudly adorning the front, signaling the presence of each fraternity.

Lights spill out from the windows, and the distant sounds of music and laughter grow louder as you approach the houses. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness being here. Though, you’re glad that you won’t run into people you know here. And even if you do, the chance is likely really low. Who would come 20 minutes away to party at another college?

Once this question comes to your mind, you feel a little odd. Wait, are you forgetting something?

Before you can think about it more, Jungkook gently holds your wrist, leading the way through the lively crowds of students walking around, and you follow suit. 

The four of you approach the entrance of one of the bigger fraternity houses, the thumping bass becomes almost palpable. The flag outside says ΗΨΒ— Eta Psi Beta. You’re honestly not familiar with this one as it seems to be one that doesn’t have a chapter at your college. Without hesitation or restrictions, you guys walk into the side entrance leading to the backyard. After several steps of walking along the slightly lit path, you're engulfed in an atmosphere of sights and sounds. The massive backyard is packed with people, the air pulsating with the beats of a 2010s party mix blaring from the speakers. You see a pretty girl with a colorful knit top and black hair DJing the party from the far end of the backyard, along with several people behind her overseeing the vibes. Color-changing lights crisscross above, connected to tall oak trees, casting a warm glow over the lively scene below.

To your right, a makeshift bar is set up, complete with a variety of drinks and colorful cocktails. Students are chatting, dancing, and moving in synchronized rhythm with the music. The atmosphere is infectious, and you find yourself getting into the groove, the worries of the past weeks slowly fading away. 

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok lead you through the crowd, their excitement contagious. You can't help but marvel at the sheer scale of the party, a stark contrast to the more intimate gatherings you're used to. 

"Isn't this amazing?" Taehyung exclaims over the music, and you respond with an enthusiastic nod.

“How the hell did you guys find this party?” you shout back at him, catching yourself staring at the DJ Girl changing the setlist to some House and UK Garage music to hype up the crowd more.

“Jungkook says he knows a guy here!” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah! We go to the same gym off-campus and box a bit,” Jungkook explains closer to your ear so you could hear amid the lively ambiance. “Oh look! Speak of the devil!” His eyes widen when he sees the man he’s referring to step right up in front of you guys. “Woah! Jungkook! You came!” The man speaks with excitement in his eyes, facial features reflecting a youthfulness that adds to his charm. Like Jungkook, he possesses captivating doe eyes that convey both innocence and a hint of curiosity. He is seemingly younger than your group, however, his height is exactly the same as the trio with you. Jungkook chuckles, going in for a bro hug. “Didn’t think I was going to, but I dragged some friends with me.” Jungkook moves aside to introduce you three, “This is Hoseok, Taehyung, and Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you guys! I’m Taehyun Kang.” He extends a handshake to each of you, catching you off guard. Awkwardly, you take his hand in yours. His politeness radiates, and you can't help but find it adorable.

Taehyun leads the way, gesturing toward the makeshift bar. "Oh! Since you guys are here, let's get some drinks!" he suggests, guiding you through the lively crowd towards the vibrant bar area. “We have a special jungle juice just for tonight’s event. We call it Sugar Rush Ride!” He leans close to you guys, “We basically dumped a bunch of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in it mixed with other alcohols!” “Oh that seems pretty cool! Let me get some!” You say.  Taehyun smiles, pouring you some in a blue plastic cup and hands it to you. “You guys want to try some too?”

“I’m the DD for the drive back home, but these two can get some.” Hoseok reassures the younger men it's okay to get wasted. He’s always been a reliable upperclassman and brother to them.

You take the chance to sip the cup. Mm. It’s a little too sweet for your taste, but the strong burning sensation (of what you assume is rum and vodka), helps it lessen. Good. This is what you need right now so badly.

Fuck it.

For a moment, you're content to let go of your troubles and embrace the carefree spirit of the night.

+++++++++++

“Where’s Y/N? She’s not in her room.”

This question catches Jin off guard as he sips his wine, slightly choking on it before setting it down on the coffee table. He’s hanging out with Namjoon, John, San and Soyoon watching a Ghibli movie in the living room. Not that he was paying much attention, he was on his phone playing the new Maple Story update. Yoongi went to play basketball at the intramural gymnasium on campus, while Jimin went drinking with an upperclassmen, Taemin.

Of course Jin knew where you were this whole time since the fight, and even tonight when Hoseok said they were inviting you to the Eta Psi Beta party at the neighboring university. But is he about to tell Namjoon?

He’s not sure. Jin pauses the game on his phone, glancing at Namjoon. "Yeah, she mentioned she's spending the night at Hwasa's place. They've been hanging out a lot lately," he says, attempting a nonchalant tone to avoid revealing any hint of the tension between you and the others. His eyes flicker between the screen and Namjoon, unsure whether he should disclose more information.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a slight frown forming on his face. "Is she okay?"

Jin hesitates for a moment, debating how much to share. "I guess? She just said she needed a change of scenery, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Namjoon presses, sensing there might be more to the story.

Jin takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting away momentarily. "Look, there's been some tension lately. I think she just needed some space to clear her head."

Namjoon's expression tightens, concern deepening. "Tension? What happened?" John, San and Soyoon’s attention from the movie has been diverted to the conversation happening between Jin and Namjoon. Jin sighs, knowing he can’t divulge more information in front of them. So he gets up, grabbing Namjoon’s wrist, and dragging him into the hallway leading to their rooms. “God, I hate having to hide shit from you of all people.” Jin whispers aggressively, putting his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “Fine, basically, Y/N ran away two weeks ago and is staying at Hwasa’s dorm.” “...What the fuck, Seokjin?!” Namjoon reins in his emotions, realizing that getting upset won't help him understand the situation better. Now, more than ever, he needs to find out what's going on with you. “Why didn’t anyone tell me—”

He interrupts the younger man, sighing in frustration. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened exactly and neither was it anyone else’s. I think you might have an idea, though, even if you weren’t there. If you want to know, go find her.”

Namjoon is left speechless, brows furrowing as he absorbs the information, a surge of worry overtaking him. 

Jin nods, understanding Namjoon's urgency. “And we didn’t want to get you upset and probably wreck anything…or anyone.”

“Where is she, Jin?”

Jin, once again hesitates for a moment. “She’s at a party with Hoseok, Tae, and Jungkook. It’s at the…Eta Psi Beta house at that neighboring university, not too far from here.”

“Oh Sh–” Namjoon looks like a deer caught in headlights, evident concern plastered on his face. “Did you not fucking know that’s the frat that he is in?”

“He?” Jin pauses for a moment confused about who Namjoon was referring to before it all clicks in his head, panicking. “Holy fuck! How was I supposed to remember that? Jungkook said he had a friend there. And I mean, it’s a big frat…what are the odds that she’ll run into him?”

Namjoon takes a deep breath, frustration and worry battling within him. He has been keeping tabs here and there on this guy for over a year, just out of concern for you. He wasn’t sure if you’d ever plan to seek him, or vice versa. No, this isn’t good. 

He doesn't want to waste any time. 

“I’m going out!” Without another word, he heads towards the front door.

John gets up from the couch seeing the commotion. “Woah, Joon, what’s going on?” His brows furrow, searching Namjoon's face for answers.

Namjoon's jaw clenches as he sighs, concern etched across his face. “I need to go find Y/N. She’s at Eta Psi’s party at UOX 20 minutes away, and she might be in some trouble soon.” As he speaks, his eyes dart around, calculating the steps he needs to take.

John senses the urgency in Namjoon's movements and offers his assistance. “I’ll take you! I didn’t drink at all earlier so I’m good to drive.”

Soyoon, catching wind of the unfolding situation, joins in, her eyes wide with concern. “We'll come along too and help you find her!”

Meanwhile, Jin, trying to compose himself, acknowledges the chaos. “I wanna go, but I’ll stay here. Yoongi will be back later, so it’ll be suspicious if we’re all gone,” he says, his demeanor calm but resolute, a stabilizing force amid the growing turmoil. Namjoon’s gaze flickers briefly to Jin, silently thanking him for staying behind. He then nods appreciatively at John's offer, grateful for the immediate support. "Thanks, John. Let's go."

 He gestures for San and Soyoon to follow as well, her worried expression mirrors his own. As they make their way to the door, John grabs his jacket, his movements quick and purposeful.

The front door closes, leaving Jin alone with his own contemplations. The room, once filled with casual conversation and the glow of the TV now feels empty and eerily quiet.

He glances at his phone, pondering whether he should reach out to Yoongi. He knows Yoongi hates that man’s guts just as much as Namjoon, but he knows that you will be even more troubled if you see him as well. As he debates internally, Jin takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever repercussions may follow, hoping that Namjoon can find you and the other boys swiftly and ensure you don’t end up seeing him.

+++++++++++

After several drinks, you’ve gotten lost in the humongous crowd of people filling the backyard of this frat house. The last time you remember seeing Taehyung’s social butterfly ass was when he was striking up conversations with a couple of girls. His infectious laughter and charming boxy smile drew them towards him, and soon he was engaged in a friendly game of beer pong with a group jealous guys and trying to show off his skills and impressive aim to the girls. They loved it.

You believe Jungkook was dragged away by an excited Taehyun wanting to show him something inside the house, though you’re not sure if he’s back…and somewhere in this crowd.  

So that leaves you with Hoseok for a while, and when 4 Walls by F(X) starts playing, he nudges you into the middle of the crowd.

You dance with him for a bit, enjoying yourself as you attempt to follow along the movements he does. This ends with you awkwardly laughing at your own failure. You could never pop and lock, or whatever he did.  You’re just not that flexible at all or well-versed with dance moves that aren’t “The Robot”. But Hoseok is gentle when teaching you. Compared to how strict he is with his students during his dance class sessions, according to Jungkook.

Dancing with him was short-lived, as he tells you to stay put because he wants to enter the dance circle emerging from the middle of the crowd in front of the DJ. He might be the DD for the night, but he isn’t going to miss out on the fun while being sober.

You don’t want to be squished with drunk, sweaty bodies around you, so you end up next to the DJ booth, where the same girl is still spinning tracks and taking charge of the party’s setlist. Her effortless grace and commanding presence behind the turntables catch your attention, and you can't help but be intrigued by her.

"So, how did you get into DJing?" you ask, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music. Usually, you’re not as courageous to start conversations with random people, but today, the alcohol in your system said otherwise.

The girl flashes you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Well, I've always had a passion for music," she replies, adjusting a knob on the mixer with practiced ease. "Back in Japan, I used to DJ at small local events. When I came here for my exchange program, I jumped at the chance to share my love for music with a new audience."

You nod, impressed by her dedication and talent. "Oh wow! That's amazing. You're really good at it," you comment, nodding towards the crowd as they groove to the beat.

Her smile widens at the compliment, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Thanks! I love seeing people enjoy themselves on the dance floor, connected by the music."

As you continue chatting, you come to find out her name is Sakura, and is in the same year as you. Before you get the chance to tell her your name, your attention is suddenly drawn to the makeshift dance floor where Hoseok is engaged in a spirited dance battle with another party-goer. The two of them move with grace and precision, their movements synchronized to the pulsating rhythm of the music.

You watch in awe as Hoseok dazzles the crowd with his fluid dance moves, his energy infectious as he captivates everyone around him. The other dancer, who you couldn’t see well from your angle, seems to hold their own with impressive skill drawing impressed sounds from the people watching. The guy keeps matching Hoseok move for move while Summer Walker’s Dat Right There plays in the background. After they finish, two other guys are up and dancing to the next song on Sakura’s setlist.

Sakura follows your gaze as you watch Hoseok get mixed into the crowd once again, a smile playing on her lips. "Looks like your friend knows how to move," she remarks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. 

You nod in agreement, feeling a swell of pride over your friend getting complimented. “Yup! He’s won several dance competitions in the past.” You sip your blue cup. What even is the alcohol inside this cup? You think maybe you should stop drinking before you start to get the urge to puke. Though, when else can you go all out like this without their supervision?

“Competition!? Woah, that’s on a whole other level than Jun! He’s in the school’s dance team too.”

You want to continue your conversation with Sakura, but suddenly, you feel your vision spin. Shit, maybe you are at your limit. You used to be able to drink more, why are you so weak tonight? You try to hold onto the table for stability, which then catches Sakura’s attention.

 “Wait, hey…you okay?”

You quickly look up at her, and wave her off. “Uh, yeah! 100%. Just need some water.”

“There’s cases of bottled water in the kitchen, just head in through the back door. Think you can make it there? I would help, but I’m—”

You manage a weak smile, grateful for Sakura's concern. "Don’t worry! I'll do that. Thanks, Sakura," you reply, your voice sounding more slurred as you attempt to maintain your composure. With a determined nod, you push yourself away from the table, focusing on steadying your steps as you make your way toward the back door.

As you navigate through the throngs of bodies, you can feel the effects of the alcohol weighing heavily on your senses. The music seems louder now, the lights brighter, and the voices around you a chaotic blur. You press a hand to your temple, willing away the dizzy spell that threatens to overwhelm you.

The sudden shift in atmosphere hits you like a wave as you step inside the house. The air is thick with smoke, a potent mixture of cigarette and weed fumes that assault your senses. You cough slightly, your eyes watering as you try to adjust to the stifling environment. 

The dim lighting casts long shadows across the room, adding to the hazy ambiance. People are scattered throughout the space, lounging on couches, leaning against walls, and mingling in small groups. The music from outside pounds in your ears, reverberating through the walls and floor, making it difficult to think clearly. 

Making your way to the kitchen, you find the bottled water, grab one and twist off the cap, taking a long gulp of the refreshing liquid. The relief is short lived though, as you glance around, searching for a familiar face in the sea of strangers. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Taehyung are nowhere to be seen for some time. 

You feel a pang of unease at being separated from your friends at a random frat party, God knows where. You’re also passed the point of being tipsy. 

What school are you even at? Why didn’t you bother asking about it in the car earlier?

Maybe you should try finding Jungkook. Yeah, he should be inside somewhere. You didn’t see him come out earlier.

You walk to the living room to try to search for him amongst the lax bodies taking hits from bongs, but suddenly you hear your name called out.

“Y/N!”

Jungkook?

Wait, did that sound like Jungkook calling out to you? Maybe? Maybe not?

You’re drunk, but the voice sounds familiar, though. Who is that?

You turn around.

And when you do, you immediately regret it.

The familiar voice that you deemed to be Jungkook was not him, but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to you at all. You used to hear this voice so often. A voice that would whisper sweet nothings to you in the late summer nights and would annoy the hell out of you with his comments.

It can’t be him, you think. You’re drunk! You’re just drunk, Y/N! Why would it be him, here, right now? As much as you tried to refute the appearance of that man before you, the image became clearer.

Choi Yeonjun.

Once you realize this, everything around you seizes movement. Soon, it feels like you stepped into a dream with how hazy everything has become. The atmosphere consumed with smoke from people smoking weed here is definitely not helping. 

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol running through your veins or your anxiety making the world spin once more, but there’s a curdling feeling in your stomach now.

Before you can even think, your legs start to move you back, very slowly. Away from the man who left you devastated and heartbroken not too long ago.

“Y-Yeon–”

“Y/N…” 

Fuck. It’s been almost two years and you still can’t fucking say his name. What’s wrong with you? You’re over him. Why are you somehow standing here in fear just from being in his presence?

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Me either.” That’s all you can mutter out? Wait. Is the “Jun” that Hoseok was dancing against earlier. Holy shit, this is all making sense. Of course you knew he went to a university close to you, but there’s thousands of students going there too. You would’ve never thought you’d just see fucking Yeonjun out of all people at a random ass frat party.

You wonder if he could sense the fear crawling through your skin, controlling your muscle movements. Your vision quivers twice as much as it should. Don’t make eye contact dammit.

Too late.

Despite your overwhelming urge to flee, you force yourself to stand your ground as Yeonjun approaches closer, his presence looming over you like a dark shadow. Every instinct screams at you to run, to go find the guys, to escape the memories that threaten to engulf you, but you swallow down your fear and brace yourself for what comes next.

"How have you been?" He asks, his voice soft yet filled with a tinge of uncertainty. 

You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of softness. And perhaps weakness. Your heart pounds in your chest, your palms clammy with nerves as you struggle to find the right words to respond. You’re gonna puke at this rate and it’s going to be embarrassing.

"Good... uh, how are you?" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, the fear of what you might see reflected in them too overwhelming to bear. Instead, you focus on a spot just over his shoulder, willing yourself to remain composed despite the turmoil raging inside you.

Yeonjun's response is brief, almost curt. "Good," he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.

There's a tense silence between you two. You can feel the weight of the past pressing down on you, threatening to suffocate you with its suffocating embrace. But still, you refuse to break, determined to weather the storm no matter what.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yeonjun speaks again, his voice hesitant yet persistent on something. "Okay, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I noticed you talking to Sakura earlier and I thought it was fate that I saw you after so long. Can we talk?"

“Huh? What?” 

Now what’s this about? You’ve been through too much and having a conversation about whatever the fuck is on his mind is something you do not want to do tonight. Or ever. You guys have been done. You have no more tears left to cry. You know your heart lies elsewhere.

“I know things ended badly when I left you, but—”

You’re not sure if he’s apologizing after reflecting on the past some time ago or if he’s trying to get back together with you, but you cannot stomach this. You want to leave. He’s probably drunk anyways. If he sincerely feels either of the two ways, he would’ve come to find you earlier to tell while he’s sober.

“Yeonjun,” You sigh heavily as you interrupt him, giving him a stern expression to show that you’re serious, “I’m not feeling too great right now. I need to go find the guys.”

“The guys?” Yeonjun scoffs. “You’re still hanging around with them?”

“Who?”

“Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin.”

What? You’re not even going to tell him that’s not who you’re here with, but now you have questions. There’s something he’s clearly insinuating here that he never told you when you two were dating. You wonder if it’s related to the reason why he ended things when you thought they were going so well. 

You want to keep edging him on until he spills.

“What’s wrong with that?” You raise your eyebrow, getting progressively more pissed off.

Yeonjun’s gaze hardens, his features contorting with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. “What’s wrong with that?” he echoes, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Can’t believe you’re still so dense after all this time.”

No, never mind. You’re not going to stand here and be degraded until you get a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t matter anymore.

“If you’re going to fucking insult me, then I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not leaving yet!” Yeonjun suddenly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. His fingers dig into your skin with a painful intensity. You cringe for a moment. Panic courses through your veins as you struggle against his hold, desperate to break free from his grasp.

Before you could fight against his hold further, you turn to see a man, similar in height to Yeonjun, shoving him roughly against the nearest wall, his expression dark and menacing. This action makes Yeonjun let go as his hands are now elsewhere.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the altercation unfold, fear and uncertainty swirling inside you like a raging storm. Who is this man?

Holy shit. 

Looking at him closely, the realization hits you like a ton of bricks—it's Namjoon.

Why is he here? How did he know you guys were here anyway?

"What the fuck is your problem grabbing her like that?" Namjoon's voice cuts through the chaos, his tone filled with anger and concern.

“Wait, Namjoon! Just stop. Let it go!”

Hoseok's voice breaks through the chaos, drawing your attention. He strides towards you, his eyes blazing with fury and worry. Taehyung and Jungkook follow closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. A crowd starts to form around them, even bringing in more people from outside after hearing the commotion.

Namjoon moves quickly, grabbing Yeonjun by the collar. “I don’t like violence, but you’ve really been pissing me off since that summer.” he growls, his voice dripping with menace.

Yeonjun staggers backward, out of Namjoon’s hold. Though his eyes remain wide with shock. He seems uncertain of what to do next, caught off guard by Namjoon's appearance and sudden aggression. His expression shifts from surprise to defiance, his jaw clenched with determination.

"Pissed off at me?" Yeonjun's voice is laced with poison, his eyes narrowing as he locks gazes with Namjoon. "I'm the one pissed off at you knowing she liked you this whole time and you never noticed a goddamn thing."

You remain frozen while hearing the words coming out of Yeonjun’s mouth. You liking Namjoon this whole time? Gears turn in your head. Did you never realize those feelings slip out of you? During the times you’d lovingly call Yeonjun, ‘Junnie’...did it feel so right because it was the same nickname Namjoon had? Yeonjun suddenly interjects with a sharp tone, "So you should stop acting up." 

The room falls into a momentary silence, punctuated only by the muffled thud as Yeonjun swiftly grabs a book from a nearby table and hits Namjoon's head with it. There's an audible gasp from the onlookers, some leaning forward in their spots to get a better view, while others recoil in shock at the unexpected turn of events.

Namjoon, caught off guard by the sudden blow, winces as the book makes contact with his head. He instinctively brings a hand up to rub the spot where he was struck, his expression a mixture of surprise and discomfort.

You, too, are taken aback by Yeonjun's action, your eyes widening as you and hoping they’ll just stop. 

Namjoon regains his posture and immediately goes back to gripping Yeonjun's collar, this time more tightly. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he retorts, his voice low and dangerous.

Yeonjun laughs, a bitter edge to the sound. "How thick is your skull? You can’t see how she’s looking at you, even now?” he sneers. "She's always been thinking of you all this time! Even when I was fucking her—"

Before Yeonjun can finish his sentence, Namjoon's fist connects with his jaw, the force of the blow sending him staggering backward once more. Yeonjun stumbles again, his balance thrown off by the unexpected attack and he falls to the floor.

The room erupts into chaos as people nearby shout and gasp in surprise. Namjoon steps forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he advances on Yeonjun, who raises his hands defensively.

"Namjoon, stop!" Your voice cuts through the tumult, your tone urgent as you rush forward to intervene. 

“Y/N, get away from them!” Jungkook runs towards you, trying to pull you away. Hoseok and Taehyung's faces are etched with concern as they rush to restrain Namjoon. Two other guys you recognize as Yeonjun’s close friends Soobin and Taehyun try to restrain Yeonjun as well. 

You run towards Namjoon and with a strong pull, manage to move him away and make him snap out of his sudden rage. When he looks down at your eyes, he notices you're slowly sobbing, frustrated.

He turns to look at Yeonjun, sitting on the ground as Soobin and Taehyun tend to his bloody nose as a result of the punch. 

As Namjoon's eyes meet yours, he registers the anguish reflected in your tear-filled gaze. The sight of your distress is like a bucket of cold water, jolting him out of his blind rage. Guilt washes over him as he realizes the impact his actions have had on you.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

But before he can finish his apology, you turn away, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Your heart feels heavy with a mixture of emotions—anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness. You feel stupid in a way. What are you upset about? Is it because he fought and hurt Yeonjun? Is it because of the pact he had with Yoongi and Jimin? Is it because Yeonjun touched upon growing feelings you tried to repress?

Probably, it’s all of the above.

Namjoon reaches out to touch your arm, his expression pleading. "We need to talk."

Should you talk to Namjoon? You’re starting to sober up a bit after all that, so maybe you should come clean to him about everything that has happened not only in the last few weeks, but the last few months.

And perhaps, it’s time to put an end to your feelings or let yourself be consumed by them.

“Okay, fine, let’s go outside," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. You wipe your tears, calming your breathing to stop the sobs. Namjoon nods in agreement, his expression somber as he follows you through the crowd. 

+++++++++++ 

“Why are you here?” You look down impatiently at Namjoon, who is now sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Eta Psi house. 

John, Soyoon, and San stand outside, their expressions etched with concern as they searched for you earlier. Namjoon waves them away, urging them to retreat inside and grant you both some privacy. They comply reluctantly, casting worried glances over their shoulders as they leave. They didn’t witness the fight or Namjoon getting hit, but it is evident from the tear stains on your face and Namjoon's deflated demeanor that something bad happened. They will likely learn the details later from Jungkook, who will be sure to fill them in once they are indoors.

“What? Why are you here? At this party a few towns over, all alone?”

“I wasn't alone! I came here with Tae, Jungkook and Hoseok. But what the hell is wrong with you?” “What do you mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you. I was trying to protect you.”

“You didn’t need to protect me because I could’ve handled that! Way better than you, who started a fight!” you retort, your voice rising with anger.

Stunned, Namjoon huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “You were standing there for a solid five minutes, hands shaking, and stuck in place!”

He saw that too? Shit. He’s right. You couldn’t even move, and once again it was just like the summer right before freshman year of college. Right when he broke up with you and the last time you ever faced him. You hate having to recall that day when it felt like all the love you poured into this human you cared for so dearly became dried up and nonexistent.

Not wanting to admit your faults and being in a partially drunk stupor, you let your cold nature take over.

“Who even asked you to do that?” you snap, your tone cold and defensive.

Namjoon only stares at you, unblinking and feeling the distance you suddenly put in between him. “Who asked me? Who–” he begins, but his words trail off.

This silence cuts through the night air. For once in your life, Namjoon cannot find the right words to articulate his thoughts. He suddenly looks flustered, debating what he should even say.

And in that second, your harsher features start to soften in realization. You regret your bitter question aimed at him and reflecting on your past trauma. Why did you have to say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?  You used to be more calm and collective for fucks sake. Who even are you anymore? 

Namjoon can be petty by nature too, though he’s never been like that toward you. 

“Says the same person who’s been in a fuck buddies deal with Yoongi and Jimin.”

Silence once again. Except now, it is accompanied by a light shower. It’s raining.

Your mind, however, is very loud right now. Screaming internally with millions of questions. More importantly: How the fuck did he find out? Did the other guys spill to him? Or did he know all along? Since when? 

“Joon, that’s just…it’s not…” Cat has your tongue now.

He chuckles bitterly, “Am I even mad? Nah, ‘mad’ doesn’t even cut it.” he mutters, his voice tinged with sadness. He looks down at his hands, now covered in droplets of rainwater, and sighs heavily. “I’ve been good at hiding it, but it’s been so fucking upsetting how stupid you three are for doing that. But how the fuck could I have confronted y’all?”

“Well if it weren’t for you making out with Jihyo at the party right in front my eyes, then this wouldn’t have happened. I just got so upset and ran off. Yoongi was only trying to comfort me, but I was the one who initiated everything. So if you’re going to hate someone, hate me.”

You may have lost Yoongi and Jimin, but the idea of Namjoon hating you and losing him hurts so much. But if you have to end things, might as well do it now.

So fucking much.

“No.” He mumbles.

“What?” “No.” Namjoon’s voice is much clearer, and definitive. He stares into your eyes, but before you can fully process his response, your own words spill out in a rush of guilt and self-loathing. 

“Uh I’ve been sleeping with our other two best friends, and even that won’t get you to hate me?” Tears blur your vision and you struggle to formulate a coherent discussion of every selfish thing you’ve done. “I feel like the shittiest person alive right now! Yoongi and I basically did that out of frustration against you and Jimin becoming distant and changing. Then Jimin ended things with Irene because he liked me all this time and then he got caught up with me and Yoongi and now we got into a fight and–”

“I’m never going to hate you, Y/N.” Namjoon interrupts, his voice steady and filled with unwavering conviction. “Because even if you did that shit, it’s clear as day to me why you did all of that. It’s because you’ve been in love with me all this time too.” His words hang in the air, a profound acknowledgment of the truth that lingers between you. 

There it is.

The thoughts you never wanted to address, not even to Yoongi on the night of the Gamma party.

Namjoon finally realized too. You hate to thank Yeonjun for making the dots connect in his mind.

“Well, congrats on opening Pandora’s box, because you’re right.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Is he going to say something sassy, like ‘I’m always right!’? You wouldn’t even mind him shoving it in your face, because you deserve it after all. You got yourself into this mess.

Namjoon rises from the sidewalk and you find yourself enveloped in his warm embrace under the rain, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil of your emotions. In that moment, you realize that perhaps there’s still hope for the two of you, despite the mistakes and misunderstandings that have plagued your relationship. As you stand in Namjoon’s embrace, surrounded by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of streetlights, you find the courage to bare your soul to him.

“Namjoon,” you begin, your voice trembling with emotion, “Ever since we first became friends, I’ve felt something for you. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s always been there, just lingering beneath the surface.”

You pause, your thoughts drifting to the countless moments you’ve shared with him—the laughter, the tears, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn about the most existential topics. From elementary until now. Each memory is etched into your heart, forming a tapestry of emotions that binds you to him in ways you never imagined possible.

“But it’s not just you,” you continue, your words spilling out in a rush of honesty. “Yoongi and Jimin, they’ve also carved out a place in my heart, each in their own way. It’s complex, messy, and kinda overwhelming.”

Your voice wavers as you confess the tangled web of emotions that have plagued you for so long. “But you, Namjoon…you’re the first love I never wanted to admit. I really wanted to take this to the grave if I could.”

Namjoon’s arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance as you lay bare your deepest fears and desires. You already know how he feels, but him having the chance to hear you out probably eased every one of his own doubts and concerns.

As the rain continues to fall around you, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the scene, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only you and Namjoon standing amidst the gentle rhythm of the rain.

With a newfound clarity, you tilt your head up to meet Namjoon's gaze, the air thick with anticipation. His eyes, dark pools of warmth and understanding, reflect the same emotions swirling within your own heart.

In this moment, there's no need for words. The unspoken longing between you hangs heavy in the air, a silent symphony of desire and yearning that binds you together.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reach up, your fingers tangling in the damp strands of Namjoon's hair. His breath catches in his throat as you draw him closer, your lips hovering just inches apart.

And then, with a surge of courage born from the depths of your heart, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a tender, tentative kiss.

The world seems to stand still as your lips meet, a symphony of emotions surrounding you, with a euphoric dizzying.You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system doing that anymore. This is purely you in this moment suspended in time while the soft caress of your lips are against his.

For a heartbeat, you linger in the sweetness of the kiss, savoring the taste of rain and desire on his lips. And then, as if Namjoon becomes more confident in the moment, he deepens the kiss, your bodies moving in perfect harmony as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of each other.

And this is where you realize, in the gentle patter of rain and the soft glow of streetlights, that this is where you belong—in Namjoon's arms, with his lips pressed against yours, in a world where love knows no bounds.

You pull away from the kiss, a soft giggle escapes your lips. The sound mingles with the gentle patter of raindrops around you. "I've wanted to do that for so long," you admit, a playful glint in your eyes. "Even when you were being annoying and scolding me at times, I thought it would've been better to shut you up with a kiss."

Namjoon's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink, his gaze shifting away shyly. "I...I wouldn't have minded," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. You love seeing this flustered side of him, and hope you can see more of it.

Before you can respond, the sound of wet footsteps interrupts the moment, and you turn to see John emerging from the house, followed closely by Soyoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, Taehyung, and San, who peer curiously from behind him.

"Are you lovebirds done over there?" John teases, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he gestures to you and Namjoon.

You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, feeling embarrassed that you were likely caught kissing Namjoon. Though, besides John’s question, no one else comments on the situation. "Um yeah, I think I wanna go back home," you say, your gaze shifting to Namjoon, who nods in agreement. "I wasn’t feeling good earlier, had too much to drink." "That’s why I told you to be careful!" Jungkook chimes in, scolding you jokingly as he tries to earn some brownie points from Namjoon for looking out for you. “You didn’t say anything!” You expose him, eliciting laughter from everyone present. Even amidst the lighthearted banter, your mind drifts back to Yeonjun, more or less because you’re worried about him taking legal action against Namjoon. “Wait, is Yeonjun…”

“Yeonjun’s going to be fine," Jungkook reassures, making you sigh in relief.  "Hueningkai and Beomgyu helped take him up to his room. He was pretty drunk, so we don’t think he’ll remember anything that happened tonight.”

Relief washes over you at Jungkook's reassurance about Yeonjun's well-being, the worry in your chest easing slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll take you and the others back,” John announces, motioning for you to follow him to his car parked across the street from the frat house.

As you approach the vehicle, you turn to Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook across the street. “Are you guys heading back too?”

Hoseok shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we’ll stick around for a bit longer, make sure everything's all good here.”

“The night is still young for us, but go get some rest, Honey,” Taehyung says, gesturing for you to get in the car.

You give them a grateful smile, appreciating their willingness to stay behind and look out for any potential trouble.

With a final wave, you climb into John's car along with Namjoon, Soyoon, San, and John himself, ready to return back to campus. The engine revs to life, and soon you’re turning the street corner, leaving the chaos of the frat party behind you. As the streetlights flicker past, you lean back in your seat, feeling a sense of relief and contentment wash over you. 

+++++++++++

“I’ll help take Y/N inside and then walk back home,” Namjoon tells John as he shuts the door of his car. “Alright, just text me when you make it back. Have a good night, guys.” John waves, exiting the parking lot in front of Hwasa’s dorm and disappearing in the distance. He dropped off Soyoon and San at their dorms across campus, so he is just headed back to his off-campus apartment. Before you swipe Hwasa’s student ID to enter her dorm, you suddenly feel your stomach churn with nausea. Maybe it was the ride back that made you queasy, or the fact that the only contents in your stomach were alcohol. Without warning, the urge to vomit hits you like a tidal wave, and you bolt towards a nearby bush, clutching your stomach in distress. Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in concern as he watches you rush away. He quickly follows, his footsteps echoing against the pavement as he reaches your side. Without hesitation, he holds your hair up to prevent the puke from sticking to it accidently.

You continue to retch, emptying the contents of your stomach into the bush, Namjoon stays by your side, offering silent support and comfort. His reassuring presence helps to calm your racing heartbeat, grounding you amid your discomfort.

“I-I…really hate throwing up so much,” you admit between gasps, your voice trembling with embarrassment.

“I know,” Namjoon replies softly, his tone understanding. “You should’ve been more cautious.”

You nod weakly, acknowledging his words even as you struggle to regain your composure.

“I know that,” you murmur, pushing yourself upright and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But I was upset...sad…needed something to take my mind off of the stuff with Yoongi and Jimin.” You swipe access and enter the building together.

“Yeah, how did all of that happen?”

“Well, it’s a long story…”

And you proceed to tell him everything that happened, from the night you first had sex with Yoongi all up until the fight that Jimin initiated at Friday Night Game Night two weeks ago. While you told him the story, you got changed, brushed your teeth, and drank some water to rehydrate you after the vomiting. He sat on your bed, watching you do each task and listening to you carefully. 

Once you’ve completed your routine, you join Namjoon on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress beside him.

“I think the answer is obvious, but we made that pact because we’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft as he gazes up at the twinkling string lights that adorn the room. “Sometime during junior year, we were at Yoongi’s house and just started talking about our feelings and didn’t know what to do.” He lays back against your pillows, sighing. “We didn’t want to ruin our friendship with you and we also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Namjoon continues, his tone tinged with regret. “We didn’t think you’d like us back because you were occupied with other guys on your mind back then. So, at that time, we decided to agree that neither of us would pursue you and move on.”

“Except that Yoongi decided to say fuck it,” you interject with a wry smile, remembering the impulsive decision that changed everything.

Namjoon chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, we had tried to move on, though Yoongi probably couldn’t let you go, so he went for it. Can’t believe he did that, but I would’ve done the same if I were in his shoes.”

He turns to you, his expression earnest as he asks, "So, what are you going to do, Tiny? How are you planning to reconcile your friendship with them?"

You pause, feeling stress settle heavily on your shoulders once again. It’s a dilemma you’ve grappled with countless times, each solution more elusive than the last. "I still don't know," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "In an ideal world, I'd love to be with you and them, but is that even possible?"

Namjoon's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your concerns. "That’s a thing, you know," he suggests tentatively. “It’s called being in a polycule together."

You gasp, the concept both surprising and intriguing. "A polycule?" you repeat, your mind racing with possibilities. "Do you think...could that really work?"

Namjoon nods thoughtfully, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. "Maybe," he replies, his voice tinged with cautious optimism. "It's definitely something worth considering, but we'd all have to think about it more and talk it through together."

A polycule. You can’t deny how much you’d be down for the idea. The thought of being in a loving, supportive relationship with Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi is undeniably appealing. However, there are other things to consider, like the future of the relationship and how you could ever present this to your own families. No doubt your parents would get a heart attack. But maybe, you’d figure out how to make this work. You don’t have to publicly get married, maybe you could just frame it as being single forever with your other single best friends. It’d be like that article about the seven Chinese girlfriends buying a mansion to retire and die together. 

You move to straddle Namjoon’s lap excitedly, “I want to try that,” 

Namjoon's expression shifts from contemplative to surprised as you straddle his lap, the sudden change in proximity catching him off guard. He blinks, momentarily taken aback by your boldness, before a soft smile spreads across his lips.

You look at his beautiful deep brown dragon eyes, always so mesmerizing.Your heart flutters at the sight, reassured by the warmth in his gaze. You're acutely aware of the intimate closeness between you, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes, igniting a flicker of desire deep within you.

For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond. He’s caught off guard, thinking about how cute you look being on top of him like this. When he doesn’t respond right away, you give him a puzzled look.

"You're only wearing underwear under your oversized Pokémon t-shirt?" He teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Huh?” Your cheeks redden, “Y-You could tell?”

“Yeah.” 

Your heart skips a beat as Namjoon's hand brushes against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch is gentle yet electrifying.

Before you can fully comprehend what's happening, Namjoon pulls you down, your lips meet his in a kiss full of need and desire.

As your lips meld together in a tender embrace, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and intense. You feel the gentle pressure of Namjoon's lips parting, inviting you into his mouth. With a soft whimper of desire, you accept the invitation, allowing your tongue to dance against his.

He starts undressing you, from your t-shirt to your panties, eager to finally have you after all this time. Once you’re naked, you pull yourself back up and let him bask in the view of you. He’s awestruck by the sight of your perky breasts.

He takes a moment to admire your curves, his eyes lingering on the way your rounded hips fit perfectly into your waist. He traces the line of your belly button with his fingertips, marveling at the way your skin feels under his touch.

You watch him, enjoying the way he looks at you, and suddenly you're desperate for more. You reach down and cupping his face, pulling his lips to yours in a deep, passionate kiss.

Your fingers trail down his arms, tracing the muscles beneath his shirt, as his hands slide up your sides, grazing your ribs before moving up to cup your breasts. His touch feels divine, his fingers gently tugging at your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.

His lips travel down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses as he goes. You can't help but moan softly, your head falling back in pleasure. He runs his tongue over the swell of your collarbone, and then moves downward, his lips leaving a hot, wet trail as he goes. He sucks gently on your nipples, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.

You arch your back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on your body. You feel his hands slide down your belly, the warmth of his fingers tracing circles on your skin. He kisses his way down your stomach, his lips leaving warm, wet kisses in a trail that leads to your hips.

You can feel the anticipation building up inside you. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches the top of your thighs, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. You're not sure what he's going to do next, and that's part of the thrill.

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with desire. He moves to remove his sweatpants, his shirt, and finally his boxer briefs.

You watch him, your eyes widening as he stands before you, completely naked. It's the first time you've seen him without clothes, and it's a sight that takes your breath away. He's been your best friend for so long, and now here he is, vulnerable and exposed in front of you.

His erection sticks up prominently, a testament to his arousal. He's bigger than you expected, and the sight of it makes your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

Before you can think about it, you reach out and touch him, tentatively wrapping your fingers around his shaft. It feels warm and hard in your hand, and you can't help but marvel at how it's throbbing beneath your touch.

He moans softly, and you can tell that he's enjoying your touch. You run your thumb over the head of his penis, feeling the slit that moistens with pre-cum. It's an intimate moment, and you can’t believe this is the first time you’re able to touch him this way.

You stroke him gently, feeling his muscles tense and relax as you do. His hips move subtly, as though he's enjoying your touch. You're grateful for his trust in you, and for the connection that's brought you to this moment.

As you continue to stroke him, you feel his hand on your thigh, gently running his fingers up and down your leg. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to you. It's a sign that he's not only comfortable with where this is going, but that he's also enjoying himself.

He leans in close, his lips brushing against his ear. "I'm so glad we're doing this," he whispers. "I've wanted this for so long,

“And I'm so glad you're here with me."

You can't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. This wasn't just about having sex with Namjoon, but the long, slow burning affection you and Namjoon have likely had for one another. You nod, your cheeks flushed with a mix of arousal and affection.

He smiles warmly at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "I know you're nervous, but don't worry," he reassures you. "We'll take it slow."

You nod, swallowing hard as you take a deep breath. This moment feels like something you've been dreaming about for years, and you're both nervous and excited all at once.

Namjoon's fingers trail up your inner thigh, and you can't help but moan softly as his touch sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You reach down, and tentatively guide his hand towards your now soaked core, your legs parting slightly to allow him access.

He gently slides his fingers between your labia, feeling the dampness and heat that awaits him. You gasp as his fingers brush against your clitoris, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Is this okay?" He murmurs, his voice low and filled with concern. You nod, unable to speak past the desire now coursing through you. “Words, please baby girl.”

The nickname immediately catches you offguard but you don’t comment on it. Your horniness yet again clouding your ability to question things.

“Y-Yes!”

With this confirmation, his fingers slide inside you, two, then three, stretching you gently as he explores your depths. You can't help but moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

"You feel so amazing inside," he whispers, his fingers moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You can't help but thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more.

He leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers continue to thrust inside of you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through you.

As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you can feel your orgasm building. It starts as a gentle tingle, then grows into a throbbing need that courses through your entire body.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice shaking with desire. Namjoon grins, his eyes shining with need as he increases the pace of his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles.

"That's it, baby girl. Cum for me," he urges, his voice low and filled with lust.

Every thrust of his fingers and every circle of his thumb brings you closer to the edge, until finally, you can't take it anymore. The band unwinds and you start to squirm in place.

You lay there, breathing heavily, waiting for the high to go down. You feel somewhat embarassed that he just did this to you and saw you come. You can’t help but want him more of his touch. You want him inside you.

"Namjoon," you breathe, your voice rough with desire. "I want you to be inside me."

His eyes flash with desire, and he pulls his fingers out of you with a soft pop. He moves towards the bed, his erection leading the way.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice deep and filled with anticipation.

You nod, your heart racing as you watch him position himself at your entrance. You can feel his knees between your legs, and the heat of his body presses against yours.

"You can do it without the condom, I’m on BC." you whisper, your voice shaking with nerves and desire. “I-I’m ready.”

With one smooth motion, Namjoon pushes himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation. Holy fuck, he’s huge. Can you really fit him in you? You’ve never experienced someone this big. Namjoon senses your discomfort and is about to ask if he should stop, however, you wave him off.

“Please keep going, Joon.” Your body clenches around his erection as he continues, filling you completely to the brim.

"Fuck," he mutters, his eyes locked on yours. "This feels better than I imagined."

He places his hand right below your stomach, and you can see the switch in his demeanor become darker. He smirks at you. “I can even feel myself right here”

“H-Holy shit,” These are the only words you can let out as he starts to further dominate you.

“I’m going to start moving, okay baby?”

“Mhm.” Just nodding in agreement, you brace yourself for what is about to come. Namjoon's eyes never leave yours as he begins to move inside of you, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first before growing more forceful with each passing second. You cry out with each stroke, your nails digging into his back as he fills you completely.

Your hips start meeting his movements, your body craving the sensation of him inside of you. You moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

His cock slides in and out of you, each thrust bringing a new wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless. You reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders as he continues to fuck you.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he growls, his voice filled with lust. "You're so tight."

As he plunges deeper into you, he leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with yours, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks you harder and faster. You don’t want it to end, but you can feel the building tension within you again, the waves of pleasure threatening to overflow.

Every thrust brings you closer to the edge, and you know that you're not far from coming again. You arch your back, your hips moving in time with his thrusts.

"I'm going to cum," you gasp, your voice shaking with need. Namjoon groans, his eyes locked.

"Then cum for me, baby girl," he growls, his voice deep and filled with lust. He thrusts harder and faster into you, his body bucking against yours as he drives himself deeper into you.

Every thrust of his hips sends another wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending you higher and higher.

You can feel your orgasm building, pulsing through your core, and you know that this time it will be even more intense than before. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive with desire, and you can feel your climax reaching its peak.

"That's it," Namjoon mutters, his voice ragged with desire. "Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you come on my dick."

The words send you over the edge, and you scream his name as you come, your body convulsing around his dick.

"F-Fuck!" you scream, your voice echoing through the room. "Joonie!"

He feels your muscles clenching around him, and he knows that he can’t hold on much longer. He slams into you one last time, his own release building to a shuddering climax inside you.

"I'm cumming," he groans, his voice hoarse with passion. "Fuck, I'm cumming!"

As you both reach the peak of your orgasms, your bodies are shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. Breathing heavily. Sweating tremendously from the heat. Your nerves feel alive, and the overwhelming desire for him grows stronger. 

As the waves of aftershocks subsided, he pulls out of you gently, his cock glistening with your wetness. He breathes heavily, his eyes filled with laughter as he helps you clean up. It has been quite the experience, and you both know that this will probably become a regular part of your love life.

After cleaning up, he helps you into bed, spooning you from behind. You can feel that he was still hard under the sheets, and you giggle at his persistence.

"Joonie, you're still hard," you whisper, a smile on your face.

"I know, but I don't want to cum again just yet," he replies, his voice low and filled with desire. "I want to hold you like this for a while." He caresses your cheek gently.

You snuggle into his arms, your heart full of love for him. You drift off to sleep for a bit, before you wake up again wanting to do it again. This time, spending time pleasuring him. You suck his dick and deepthroat it, despite his worries. 

With this event, you know that your life will never be the same again. Namjoon has forever changed you, as well as Yoongi and Jimin and you couldn't be more grateful.

All that is left is figuring if you can make the polycule idea a reality.

Would it be insane if you’d try it? If you helped initiate the virginity race, then you could do this too. +++++++++++ [Extra POV]

Meanwhile, inside the house, chaos slowly dissipates as Soobin and Taehyun rush to tend to Yeonjun's bloody nose on the floor. Jungkook, guilt-ridden, is apologizing profusely for his friend's actions, his words tumbling out in a rush of remorse.

Beomgyu and Hueningkai, Yeonjun’s other close frat brothers, arrive on the scene. Beomgyu's laughter ringing through the air as he chides Yeonjun for his reckless behavior. 

"Man, you're lucky Namjoon didn't knock you into next week!" he jokes, though there's an edge of concern in his voice. “Can’t believe you thought it was fine to go up against a guy three times bigger than you!”

“Beomgyu, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.” Yeonjun groans as he holds a crumpled tissue paper to his nose waiting for the bleeding to stop.

Hueningkai turns to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok, sighing, "Guys, your friend Namjoon needs to get out of here soon before the cops decide to show up from the commotion," he says, his tone urgent.

Hoseok nods in agreement. "He'll be out soon," he assures them. “They’re outside talking it out. If they don’t wrap it up in 15 minutes, I’m dragging his ass to John’s car or Jungkook’s.” 

“Yoooo, what the hell happened?” Soyoon chimes in with John and San trailing behind her. She looks at the sight in the living room all confused.

“The guy on the floor is Honey’s ex and Namjoon fought him because he was being an ass.” Jungkook summarizes, make the three nod in understanding.

“God, can you all shut up and stop talking about–” Yeonjun winces in pain, making Soobin panic.

Taehyun, his patience wearing thin, scolds Yeonjun sternly. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" he chastises. "Jungkook told me Namjoon is in the gym five times a week, and all you do is shotgun beers and chase tri delts."

Taehyung chuckles at the remark, unable to resist the humor in the situation. "Yeah, you might want to rethink your strategy next time, buddy," he quips, though there's an underlying seriousness to his tone.

“I wanted to be friends with Y/N again.” Yeonjun slurs, his lips pouting out. “Can I have another drink?”

“But you see where that got you!” Soobin intervenes. "And no!” He firmly denies Yeonjun's request for another drink. "You've had enough drinks for one night, Jjun.” 

Yeonjun grumbles in protest, but Soobin's resolve is unwavering. With a supportive arm, he helps Yeonjun stand up, steadying him as they both rise. "I think you should go to bed," Soobin suggests softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "We'll handle slowly dispersing people out and tell them to go to another party."

Yeonjun nods. Beomgyu and Hueningkai step forward to offer their assistance. Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun's shoulders, offering him a supportive grip, while Hueningkai moves to steady him from the other side.

"Let's get you to bed, man," Beomgyu says with a sympathetic smile, his tone reassuring.

Yeonjun leans on them for support, grateful for their presence as they navigate through the crowd. 

But as he stumbled along with his friends' support, Yeonjun couldn't ignore the nagging feeling of regret gnawing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hostile, towards you or Namjoon. It wasn't fair to you at all. It wasn’t why he wanted to talk to you anyways

He couldn't shake the guilt that washed over him as he thought about your past together. He'd acted out of jealousy and hurt, hoping to reclaim a piece of something that was long gone. But now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he realized how foolish he'd been.

With this, he’s closing the door forever.

All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep off the alcohol-induced haze.

-

-

-

tbc !!!!! :D

a/n: 3 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. we are getting closer and closer to the eventual polycule we might get... or not. this was probably the most exciting chapter to write because it was planned since LAST AUGUST. literally before any chapter of this series dropped. rae and i had been plotting the yeonjun v. namjoon fight since then and ironically yeonjun was in apartment 404 and filmed a fight scene. so thank me for manifesting yeonjun fighting lmao. it took me a little over a month to write because i had job interviews and rae was busy with life/school to edit as well so apologies on the delay, but it is here now. i will try to work on ch 10 and make sure it doesn't take to long, but i have to be job searching so it might take some time again. the goal is to finish this series before the anniversary in late august so we will see. would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house next chapter. thank you all for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

#bts #love u lately #bts smut #yoonminjoon #bts fic #namjoon x reader #bangtan #lul #lul masterlist #love u lately masterlist #yoongi x reader #jimin x reader #yeonjun x reader #fanfic #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #namjoon smut #jimin smut #yoongi smut #bts x reader #lul9 #kim namjoon #park jimin #choi yeonjun #min yoongi

[lokislittlemidgardian]

Just saw ur Daddy!Zemo and I knew I had to send in a request. Could u please do Zemo x little!reader where they just want cuddles and kisses all the time. I’m sorry if that’s a little vague but I hope u can u something with it. Thank u✨

Cuddly engel

Content - age regression, cg!zemo, cuddles, soft toys, paperwork, fluff, not proofread, don't like don't read.

Summary - when you can’t fight regression one night when zemo is working you desperately need him to help you.

Authors note - there was just something inside me that had to make the reader zemos wife he just gives off such good husband vibes, a bit shorter I was a bit tired, reblogs are greatly appreciated, I hope you enjoy!<3

Translations - my love - meine Liebe, beautiful - schön, darling - liebling,

You knew you shouldn’t have taken a nap this afternoon, you knew you were going to wake up small but you decided to do it anyway.

Oh did you regret it now.

You knew that you were safe to regress of course you did but it was just a bit tricky today, helmut had been working constantly for the past few weeks and while you knew he would drop everything in a heartbeat to take care of you you didn’t want to bother him.

So for for the next half an hour you lied there on your back staring up at the ceiling trying to get your older mindset back, but nothing would work it was completely pointless.

Eventually you decided to swallow your pride and go and find your husband.

Going over to your wardrobe you pulled down the wooden box that sat on the top shelf, opening it you pulled out a blue soft rabbit and placed it under your arm before moving the box onto the hardwood flooring.

Tiptoeing out of your bedroom you made your way down the oak stairs.

You looked around trying to find helmut knowing he hadn’t been to a meeting so he must be at home.

This was the only problem about your house, there were to many rooms to remember when you were little.

Making your way back up the stairs you wandered over to the only other room you could think of, helmut’s study.

You peaked through the crack in the door making sure he wasn’t on the phone before gently pushing it open making the old hinges creek making you cringe.

Looking up from his paperwork the barons eyes softened when they saw it was you, “hello meine Liebe” he smiled pushing out his rolley chair from his desk “hi papa” you said softly paddeling your way over to him.

“Ahh has my little lamb come out to play?” He chuckled reaching his hand out to reach your own “mhm” you mumbled “I’m not disrupting you am I?” “Of course not schön you could never interrupt me” he said softly knowing you were sensitive to noise in this state of mind.

“Papa can I come up please?” You whispered you gestured to his desk chair “of course you can my darling” he cooed helping guide you into a cradling position in his lap.

After placing a kiss to your forehead he rolled the chair in and went back to his work occasionally looking down to make sure you were sound.

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

After a while of working he looked down to see your head resting on his left shoulder, your hand clutching onto his sleeve struggling to keep your eyes open.

“Is my liebling sleepy?” He chuckled bringing his hand down too stroke your palm.

You were too far gone to speak so you just let out a light grumble and nuzzled your face into his soft chest.

Smiling down at you Zemo brushed away a strand of hair that had called down across your face before placing a kiss to your hairline.

“Go to sleep then my love, I’ve got you”

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

Taglist - @bootlegmothman420 @littlephia @whippedforhongjoong @youngstarfishdinosaur @patchesofwork @buggyateabug @autisticbeauty @friendlyneighborhoodkillerbunny @sparklybuck @2-gay-possums-in-a-trench-coat @hopelesswritergall @stuckysgirl27 @sleepyprinc3ss @chaotic-little-witch @looksthatkilledd @teddybearsgrr

#daddy!zemo #papa!zemo #little!reader #cg!zemo #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo x wife!reader #helmut zemo x fem!reader #zemo x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo #ria answers #sfw age regression #caregiver #age regression reader #sfw littlespace #little reader #agere sfw

[astriiformes]

@squidaresquishy replied to your post: My wool for Andreas got here today and it's so

where do u buy actual nice quality historically appropriate fibers (wool, linen)??? all i can find on the obvious sites like joann's or craft stores are like… weird polyester faux-flannel or cotton

So I have a fancier answer, a slightly less-fancy answer, and significantly less-fancy answer, both because it's good to spread your net wide regardless and also because as a cosplayer/costume-maker without much money, I've found that sometimes you have to get creative.

I bought my wool for my Andreas costume from Pendleton Woolen Mill because a friend who lives near them and is working on the same costume tipped me off to a clearance sale they were having. They're an example of a nice, high-quality seller that I usually couldn't afford to buy from where timing made all the difference (and I will absolutely be watching their site for sales in the future). Other stores I've heard friends recommend that sell natural fabrics, some of them specifically catered to historical costuming, include Burnley & Trowbridge and Silk Baron, and the other day while doing research for Andreas, I was poking around on the Historical Costuming subreddit and came across this list, which looks solid. On the whole I don't have a ton of recommendations though, since I rarely have the money to buy fabrics from more specialty retailers.

(Oh, and it's not fabric, but if you're ever looking for leather, Tandy Leather is another great place to get historical costume materials)

The slightly-less fancy answer is that I buy most of my cosplay fabrics, historical costuming ones included, from a local fabric outlet, which is not something every city has but has been an absolute treasure trove for me. They sell everything at 50% off and have some very weird finds (like the metallic linen I used for my Golden Guard tunic), but it's also been a good place to look for natural fabrics. I found nice silk and wool there for my sister's Cassandra de Rolo costume, and it's where I'm hoping I'll find another wool for Andreas' jacket. Even if your city doesn't have a fabric outlet, it may have local, non-chain fabric stores that are worth investigating (though the affordability may vary). I found out about the place near me through other cosplay friends, so asking around in local crafting and cosplay communities may lead you somewhere. If you're looking for historical fabrics specifically, I'd consider bothering the local SCA chapter about local recommendations!

Last though -- nice fabrics can be found in weird places. As a poor cosplayer who is usually trying to figure out the best way to hit the "nice materials" and "affordability" sweet spot, I've made a habit of checking out local thrift stores and yard sales for fabric whenever I can. Sometimes that looks like nabbing a $2 sheet to sew a cloak mock-up out of, but if you're persistent you can sometimes make pretty incredible finds. A few months ago I found a plain white linen curtain set that I nabbed knowing I would want for a costume at some point, and sure enough now my current plan is to use it for Andreas' shirt. It cost me maybe $8, which is insane for that amount of linen -- but not for thrift store curtains. The biggest challenge with this method is knowing what you've found. In that case I lucked out and the curtain tag was still attached, telling me they were a 100% linen blend, but sometimes you have to get more creative. We're big fans of the "If something looks and feels suspiciously like wool or linen, buy it, bring it home, and set a small piece of it on fire to test it" method in my household (natural fibers burn, manufactured ones melt; it's a legit test and you can read up on it!) but that does require a certain familiarity with wool/linen/etc to be able to pick out likely culprits. If you can make it work though, this is absolutely the cheapest way to get natural fabrics, and I've found it to be very worth my time.

I hope some of that helps! In general a "leave no stone unturned" method where you nab fabrics from a few different places works well, as does being willing to employ a little creativity. Best of luck with your own projects!

[harrelltut]

1968-michaelharrelljr.com passed Baron Samedi's Shadowy Gates of Immortal Death [I.D.] on Earth [Qi]... Again... since Eye 1698 TUTANKHAMÚN [E.T.] Living [EL] behind My Father's Extremely Wealthy [FEW] Gated Death Communities [D.C.] in Mother's [DMS] Old 1698-2223 America [Mu Atlantis]

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[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/01/2024 (Ariana Grande, 21 Savage's american dream, D-Block Europe)

The story of this week is… well, there are a lot of stories, and the moral of nearly all of them is: don’t get your hopes up. Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” has halted a certain someone off the top spot, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we swiftly ignore you-know who and instead spend a little time on the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover (read the FAQ), after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. As one would expect, there’s quite a lot of movement this week so we do have a hefty list, bidding farewell to… “Just Another Rainbow” by Liam Gallagher and John Squire after just one week at #16, “Entrapreneur” by Central Cee, “You’re Losing Me” (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift getting three-song-ruled out and exchanged for another Taylor song, and then “Standing Next to You” by Jung Kook, “Murdaside” by Mazza_l20 and friends, “First Person Shooter” by Drake featuring J. Cole, “adore u” by Fred again.. and Obongjayar, “Daylight” by David Kushner, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and the Selena Gomez-assisted “Calm Down” by Rema. Yeah, some massive losses this week, it really is ushering in the 2024 hit parade this quickly

As for our notable gains, well, we see a return for “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #69 due to the swap I talked about earlier - it really isn’t a good trade-off in my opinion. Aside from that, there are boosts for “Black Friday” by Tom Odell at #31 which I can’t complain about, and same goes for “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli at #24. I will complain about “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield at #18, but that brings us neatly to our top five, where we have Teddy Swims fly in at #5 with “Lose Control”, followed by familiar faces, “Lovin’ on Me” by Jack Harlow at #4 and “Murder on the Dancefloor” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #3, and then, despite multiple versions and a music video, Noah Kahan fended off Ariana Grande’s comeback single “yes, and?”, stalling out narrowly at #2. It’s fully the season of the sticks, and also the season of 11 Goddamn song reviews, some of which were expected and don’t give me much to say, or much that I want to say, and some that just came out of thin air. I guess let’s just get this party started.

New Entries

#73 - “Scared to Start” - Michael Marcagi

Produced by David Baron

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor, Who the Hell is This Guy? So, Mr. Marcagi started out as the lead singer for non-starter indie rock band The Heavy Hours, before the release of two very recent and very obviously trend-chasing solo singer-songwriter singles. This is the second of them, and seems to have been his breakout and yeah, I suppose we have Noah Kahan at home. The song is overall about a youthful relationship that gets them into undetailed recklessness and escapism, particularly getting away from a small boring town into being on-the-road nomads, without much care for where the future actually takes them. I like the heartland rock pianos and the tried-and-true drop into half-time for the second chorus, though by the time he does it again in the final chorus, I mostly wish he just picked up the pace as the momentum needs to accelerate from there if it’s such a carpe diem track, it feels like a missed opportunity to really go hard at the final hustle, like Kahan would do. As a whole, it’s really not that difficult to see why this is here or even why people could love it, but I feel like it needed more refining to truly make it worthwhile.

#63 - “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” - YG Marley

Produced by Lauryn Hill, YG Marley and JohnnyG

When I say everything will chart in January, I mean everything. This is one of Bob Marley’s many grandchildren, and yes, that is the Lauryn Hill you’re thinking of. She married into the Marleys, this is her son, she co-produced and co-wrote the song, which additionally samples the original Marley’s “Crisis”, a 1978 track with the Wailers, an uplifiting song about living it up through crisis, staying aware of tragedy but taking time to yourself to allow for fun to be had, peace to be found. I like the song a lot, but it was an album track and hence never charted until it was sampled on this newer song from late last year, which - this is not the first time this week we’ll see this either - turns the otherwise conscious track into a love ballad, but sonically, it’s incredibly faithful, even down to the liquidy reggae groove and charming background singers. Sadly, YG does not have the presence of his grandfather, sounding mostly like a nervous, Auto-Tuned child stumbling onto the school talent show, but that’s also partly due to the mix crushing his nasal croon a bit, it feels smashed in between different elements of the mix instead of resting carefreely in it like Bob would. I do actually appreciate the shift in content for the second verse, which I can only assume was written by Ms. Lauryn Hill considering its cynical, conscious stabs at soul-taking and standing your ground. In fact, I actually like this song quite a lot - whilst it starts off as a love ballad, it ends up using more of an appreciative worship angle that fits much better with the lax, improvisational performance, especially once Lauryn comes in for the outro, it’s just nice to hear her singing again, to be honest. The guitars are also surprisingly sludgy by the end, it feels, fitting the mix’s general vibe, which makes it feel a tad sinister or at least defiant, which makes the sample flip - or really, recreation - a lot more sensible. So, yeah, I think this turns around to actually being quite good, if not great? I guess you can’t go wrong when you just plod in that classic Bob Marley tune as a loop for so long and get Lauryn Hill to do backup, I mean, it really does not seem like you can go wrong placing those two together on a track, albeit posthumously. I know it’s never coming but part of me wants to at least hope this may mean we get, if not a solo album, a wider array of collaborations from Lauryn Hill in the future.

#61 - “No Man’s Land” - Marshmello and venbee

Produced by Marshmello, Digital Farm Animals and Earwulf

To be completely honest, I thought Marshmello’s time in the Sun was over. He’s been latching onto Fuerza Regida and Latin music overall Stateside, so I figured his hit-making days could be far behind him, yet here he is without a reggaetónero or corrida band, and instead venbee, who has yet to really replicate the success of “messy in heaven”, but maybe this will be a winning combination and not another desperate last-minute attempt by Marshmello to find a final niche before the spark dies completely. Surely by now, you know where this is going. Mr. Mello even got Digital Farm Animals to co-write and produce so there really is a distant scent of imminent failure written into this one. That’s not to say the song isn’t good because, well, despite all my cynicism, it’s a damn good track, I actually really love this one. It has all the 2018 plastic tropical flavour but due to going for a faster-paced drum and bass rolick and surprisingly compressed and gross-sounding mix on venbee’s vocals, it doesn’t have any of the effortless sheen and instead sounds a bit rough around the edges, with even the little intricate details in that second verse sounding a bit out of place. That lines up pretty perfectly with venbee’s self-loathing that she feels has buried her into an isolation that she can’t really handle considering how much she hates that cycle. Now I don’t think this’ll be a hit: it sounds like something that could be a sleeper success, but by the time it would get much traction, the song is rather too depressive to be dropped into a Summer EDM mix, and honestly, we have no track record for venbee in terms of any consistent success, and it’s not like Marshmello is a pull anymore. So whilst I actually think this is brilliant, I would have to say to Marshmello: Maybe don’t get your hopes up.

#59 - “J CHRIST” - Lil Nas X

Produced by Omer Fedi, Gesaffelstein and Lil Nas X

“The biggest comeback” since Jesus and he couldn’t even break top 50? In this chart climate? In this economy? I did see a lot of social media disillusionment with Lil Nas’ religious angle, none of which I agreed with because really, it’s only his second time doing so and who decided that artists suddenly couldn’t use themes in their music? Yet that may explain the lack of success out of the gate for… “J CHRIST” - God, what a terrible song title - and I can’t say it’s unfortunate, this song is terrible, and not in an honest-sounding way either. LNX has never sounded more bored and typical, going for a vocal take that doesn’t even fully sound like him, as if he was pitched up in post, and the lyrics seem absolutely unfinished if not unchanged from a mumbling reference track. Even the catchy hook is pretty gimmicky with the “high note”, and the second verse just repeats itself sloppily over this piano-based trap beat, that doesn’t really go anywhere at all. In fact, if left on its own, one could consider this a bit of a feat: gawk in awe at Lil Nas X trying and failing to inject life into an amateur YouTube remake of “HUMBLE.” made by a guy with 12 subscribers! Yet due to the promising, alien outro from Gesaffelstein, we know that more effort could have been put into this to make it much more unique and refreshing, and his springy synth bounce lingers throughout the rest of the track, especially that pre-chorus, as a tease for something to come, which would be promising if that “something to come” wasn’t the absolute lowest barrier of entry for decent music: being interesting. Again, don’t get your hopes up.

#46 - “Alibi” - Ella Henderson featuring Rudimental

Produced by Aidan Glover, Cliff Masterson, Rudimental and Punctual

It is with the deepest of sighs that I say the late Coolio’s iconic Dangerous Minds soundtrack cut “Gangsta’s Paradise”, that has long outlasted its film companion, debuted at #1 upon release in 1995 and stayed there for two weeks total, and has returned intermittently to the UK Singles Chart since 2009 due to just how great of a song it is, a timeless Stevie Wonder flip with L.V. on the chorus and some of the most harrowing yet accessible conscious verses that have ever appeared on a chart hit. Ella Henderson, we are not doing this. Why Rudimental decided to credit themselves onto this… thing they barely produced is beyond me, because this is a worthless parody of the original, a dead-on-arrival concept with little respect for its source material… but that makes it sound cool, doesn’t it? It makes it sound risky, like it’s trying new things, when in reality, that’s far from the case. Ms. Henderson copies inflections and melodies directly from L.V., who already took them from Stevie, and replaces the lyrics with meaningless relationship platitudes. The beat is stock drum and bass, the main lead sample is from the most famous and memed part of the song. This kind of song makes me question whether I can even consider it art at all because what human aspect could have possibly been involved in this? Ella’s singing, sure, but not only are the vocals touched-up in post, it’s not like she or her choir care all too much about emoting these lyrics, and they really shouldn’t. Sure, a human - or several, according to the credits - programmed this song, but would you really be surprised if it was done algorithmically based on a TikTok search of the original song? I love sampling, it’s possibly the most interesting thing about popular music past the 1990s, but some reinventions are little more than fleeting insults at artists not alive to repel them. The man rejected Weird Al’s parody and even after he’d lightened up about that, I have serious doubt he would sign off on this garbage. May he rest in peace - I personally really love his other single “Fantastic Voyage”, maybe even more than “Gangsta’s Paradise”, and I’ll always remember his voice performance as the Kwanzaabot in Futurama. This? I’m trying not to remember it. Hopefully the UK can realise this for its cheap distasteful novelty and leave it  buried in the dregs of Spotify where it belongs.

#42 - “Heather on the Hill” - Nathan Evans

Produced by Alan Jukes and Stevie Jukes

I’m… genuinely surprised Nathan Evans is still popping up, especially with a song like this. The title may be referring to the song of the same name in the 1947 musical Brigadoon, set in the Scottish Highlands, perhaps most well known in its version by Grace Kelly. Now that is a beautiful composition with a surprisingly frail performance in the verses that really gives a lot of lackadaisical charm to the track, even if I’ve never even heard of the musical before. This track by everyone’s favourite sea-shantier has nothing to do with that song. The traditional Scottish folk strings may interpolate the original slightly but this is a pop song through and through, with Lewis Capaldi-esque vocal and guitar production, it’s all compressed and staccato and aimless but at least you can tell Evans is Scottish given all the references which would seem tacky if there weren’t just so many of them, and Hell, I’m not Scottish, I can’t judge how a Scotsman expresses his Scottishness. There is a great dramatic charm in the absolute joyfulness this seems to at least want to display, especially with the Scottish folk chaos in the back of the mix and Evans just giving it all he can. In fact, I kind of love this: it’s an adorable love song that ends very abruptly for no good reason, is littered with little Scottish lyrical details, and whilst it doesn’t hit the same as the song from the musical, it’s going for an entirely different vibe: one of folkish lovestruckness and awe, admiration. This feels like a first crush, if my first crush was from Orkney. She wasn’t, of course, but I can dream; both songs I discovered from this entry I appreciate in largely different ways but are pretty admirable all the same.

#27 - “n.h.i.e.” - 21 Savage and Doja Cat

Produced by Kurtis McKenzie, Scribz Riley, Jonah and Nineteen85

Okay, so 21 Savage released a new album, american dream, last Friday, and it debuts at #2 on the UK albums chart, with three new songs debuting here because the entire album was new material, and quite frankly, next to none of it fit the concept of the album, and that includes pretty much everything we have here. It’s really frustrating when ambition, especially conceptual ambition, seems to be promised and whilst the product itself is completely fine, serviceable and in the case of this 21 album, frankly quite good, it does not abide by the ideas that were presented in, say, the introduction, the soundtrack connection, how 21’s mother appears on both the opener and closer to speak frankly about her experiences and how they relate to her son’s, especially in regards to travelling from London to the US. Given that 21’s finally gained US residency and this seemed like his way of commemorating his escape from the confusing citizenship debacle, wherein he can be proud of both his British and American heritage, I was quite disappointed when it was 90% a typical rap album with soul samples, trap beats, flexing on haters, having sex with women, killing people in comical detail and even having a second half largely consisting of R&B just for the ladies, I suppose. With all that, like I said, I enjoyed the album! 21 is a lyrically and vocally quite fun presence nowadays, and the production was incredibly cohesive in its sound despite trying out some different rhythms and vibes throughout. It is, by all means, a good 21 Savage album, but if you’re hoping for more than that, again, don’t get your hopes up. As for the tracks that debuted, they are by far the least interesting and actually some of my least favourites. This one has an eerie guitar lick but also Doja Cat all over the track just whispering and distractingly so, with 21 kind of on autopilot, even if his short verse is pretty good. Doja is doing the whole quirked-up not-a-rapper schtick with the “ad-lib!” ad-lib and basic flow accentuated by again, those multi-tracked whispers and outright refusal to write a verse of considerable length. It’s just lazy on mostly her part but pretty much everyone else as well, there’s little to care for here.

#23 - “née-nah” - 21 Savage, Travis Scott and Metro Boomin

Produced by Metro Boomin

Why is the song called that? Anyway, this is my least favourite track easily. You have a straight minute of Travis wasting my time - without the Auto-Tune, without the spacey production, without the atmospheric concepts and ambition, who even IS this guy, really, other than an unconvincing cornball who never decides on a solid flow and fills up time with ad-libs, including some weird Westside Gunn riffing this time around? Also, considering how much time he’s spent with Kanye, I’m getting slightly worried to who this villainous “they” he’s referring to in this verse all the time might actually be, he’s been oddly defensive and conspiratory since UTOPIA at least. This is a completely serviceable Metro beat, though it actually gets kind of hard on the ears midway through due to that shrill sample that doesn’t really have much to blend with when the chopped, vintage sample isn’t present. It’s a shame that the rest of the track is pretty much garbage because 21 delivers some of his most violently funny and out-of-pocket verses on this whole album, with a cold-as-Hell chorus and lines about Virgil Abloh and Usher that hit pretty hard as punchlines. Again, a shame it’s all placed here on what was for everyone else, a throwaway track.

#19 - “Eagle” - D-Block Europe and Noizy

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

DBE sold like 10 million USB sticks or something, their album is #1 yet here’s their sole track in the top 75. Now this is the kind of so-bad-it’s-enjoyable DBE I like to hear, with Beatfreakz on production, an unusually long, minimal intro, an array of deranged ad-libs, terrible Auto-Tune, Young Adz stammering helplessly and not understanding how disparate some of the consecutive lyrics are from each other. He barely sticks to a coherent flow and starts the chorus with declaring that he thinks he’s Albanian, but he doesn’t enunciate so it sounds like he just calls himself the country of Albania. We even have Dirtbike Lb going for a verse that completely washes whatever Youthful Advertisement was doing, he actually kind of kills his verse, it’s impressive. The flow switch is much clearer and well-done than whatever Adz tries his hand at, his slurring and naturally slow, droning delivery is used to its best extent here. Oh, and like half the song belongs to this one extended verse from an actual Albanian rapper, Noizy, who goes in… I think? He says near the end, “I’m Albanian, you’re not supposed to like me” and I really don’t know what to make of that, or this song in general, it’s kind of a fascinating mess with some genuine flow highlights but mostly just bizarre choices. In that regard, classic DBE.

#11 - “redrum” - 21 Savage

Produced by London on da Track and Peeb

My favourite track from this album is “see the real”, a sassy, witty and dismissive hyphy-esque bop that inflects a lot of melody into 21’s sound but not enough to dissuade you from his cold demeanour. Some of my other favourite tracks include the sincere PSA “dark days”, the needlessly catchy R&B track “should’ve wore a bonnet” and yeah, “redrum” has none of what I just described. It’s pure violence, it got the music video set in London, so here it is, with its Italian classical music sample in the intro that just eventually forms into a menacing, unchanging loop. It sounds great, but with the caveat that it also just sounds like that the whole time. If 21 weren’t generally an incredibly compelling and more importantly convincing presence as a killer on the mic, this would be a pretty unimpressive beat, so it really shows how much better an instrumental can sound when the right pocket’s found, and for 21, who is on his A-game punchline and ad-lib wise on this track, it seems almost effortless. I’ve obviously not got much else to say about this song or the album as a whole, but I do think it’s a shame that its most unique and enlightening moments didn’t make their way to the charts, or that they were so few and far between to begin with. Hey, at least we didn’t get any shreds of that terrible Kid Cudi project, right? Sheesh.

#2 - “yes, and?” - Ariana Grande

Produced by Ariana Grande, Max Martin and ILYA

It’s fine. I know it’s the big story of the week but there’s nothing too celebratory, triumphant, badass or even interesting about this comeback single from Ariana, that clearly goes for an attitude it couldn’t fully commit to, given the cheaper-than-usual sounding vocaloid chop behind the diva house pianos and a cooing that sems to miss the point of its own genre. Lyrically, it’s self-motivation but I mean, we have “BREAK MY SOUL”, and the genuinely experimental and explorative RENAISSANCE from just two years ago, we really don’t need a lacklustre Ariana Grande rendition of this genre, especially when she’s completely phoning it in. She’s not someone who’s meant to chant mantras, that’s not the kind of loose, parading singer she is, it’s why she never worked on trap beats. The spoken word bridge is pitched-up - because sure, Ariana needs pitching up of all singers - and practically egregious: going for the censor during the Ethan Slater-related line is exactly the “serve” it was intended to be, given that it’s the one time the song actually feels like it exists, but it also just drills this hole further that Ari cannot sell this at all, and should absolutely not be trying to when the audience, even if invested in the “I’m fucking the SpongeBob guy” drama, cannot find themselves motivated by because, well, last time I checked, the only other person fucking the SpongeBob guy was the mother of his child. If someone can point me to the passion and empowerment in this song and its seven other versions instead of a lingering tinge of desperate acting-out, please do, because every listen just leaves an even sourer note in my mouth. Ugh, let’s move on.

Conclusion

I actually did not dislike “yes, and?” before writing this episode, but several listens and caring to look at the lyrics more have really prevented me from enjoying it the way I wanted to so, yes, it will get the Dishonourable Mention, with the Worst of the Week being so obvious I really don’t have to say it, do I? Best of the Week goes to Marshmello and venbee for “No Man’s Land” with an Honourable Mention to Nathan Evans of all people with “Heather on the Hill” and I suppose that’s it. It was a bit of a long ordeal this week, but thank you for reading, see you… a bit earlier than next Friday, I think, but still, next week.

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #ariana grande #21 savage #american dream #d-block europe #noizy #travis scott #metro boomin #doja cat #nathan evans #ella henderson #rudimental #lil nas x #marshmello #venbee #yg marley #lauryn hill #michael marcagi

[lizzibennet]

i know we've talked kate and edwina's relationship to DEATh but i'm rewatching season 2 and for as much as kate loves edwina (and vice versa) edwina seems to be on such a tight leash. for years (i think they referenced eight years of kate's instruction) edwina has listened to kate because she's older, more experienced, and has only the best intentions for her sister so she trusts her. kate wants a love match for edwina, how can edwina doubt her sister's intentions? so she does what she says. allows herself to be pulled from this baron to this lord.

and when it all comes out! that not only is her fiancé not in love with her, not only that he loves kate, but that kate knew all of this! and did! not! tell! edwina! of course she would blow up! (i say this loving kanthony) edwina deserved more

(thanks for getting me into this show btw)

anon you are soooo correct. i don’t like the phrasing tight leash- invokes kate like bossing edwina around, which isn’t what i think was happening- but i understand u meant that they working so closely together towards edwina’s education… they must have shared so much w each other, that surely made them much closer to each other, and edwina surely thought kate was like the wisest most knowledgeable person of all time… it makes sense kate says edwina trusts her implicitly- not only bc she knows kate is capable but bc kate has never steered her wrong!! she never would!!! except she does this once and it’s in such an enormous way. of course she’s angry and heartbroken- it’s not only a betrayal from a sisterly standpoint but also the dismantling of everything edwina’s known as a teen and a young woman :( can you beLEAF ppl think she had no right to be angry at all. she was hurting so much (as was everyone involved) :( shitty fucking situation all around

(Ur welcs but also i am sorry)

#edwina defense squad #anonymous #what is my ask tag again

[sungod55]

Vincent chugged the wine & ate and and Baron pulled a chair over with telekinesis & ate too. Vincent said thanks again the food is so good, as he ate more. The Baron said “Zank you, ze green beans are zeazoned with garlic & zome olive oiall”… Vincent said mmmm they’re so crunchy & delicious thank you Baron Samedi. A girl in the south village told me about how you cured that boys legs & it was so amazing & I need you to help me get to my meetup spot with my Mermaid girlfriend. Please I will do whatever it takes for you to use your magic & help me, I love her so so so so so so so so much I would die for but I need to see her again. Please Voodoo Lord Baron Samedi will you help me? I’m full now & we need to hurry.”… The Baron ate his spoonful of sweet potatoes & his stuffing & finished his wine which was what Vincent’s family had gifted him im pretty sure and then he stood up & so did Vincent.”” Velly vell follow me.””… Vincent said okay & thank you again for the food that was amazing… The Baron lit a cigar & pulled a jug of Rum off the table as he blew out all the candles & told Vincent how to set the mirror pieces while he smoked and drank. The Baron slid closer so the final piece could trap the both of them in with the fireplace being the only side that was open…. There was a black blanket from black bear pelts & it had red stripes dyed into it… Vincent was told to take his shirt off & to trust the Baron. Vincent said okay. The Baron threw his cigar in the fire which made it get bigger & then he threw the bottle of rum into it after taking a giant pull… he then pulled out his knife. Said some Latin things & then told Vincent to relay the Latin things after he said them the second time… Vincent did & then the Baron stabbed him in the chest & Vincent screamed & grabbed the Barons arm with both hands in horror… the Baron began talking & pulled his knife out & then Vincent put his hands over his heart which was bleeding profusely… then as Vincent was saying what having to dd—…. The Baron sliced Vincent’s neck open & the blood gushed out down Vincent’s body as he made a gagging sound… The Baron set him down slowly as he was still staying Latin or actually Haitian things & standing firm as Vincent was grabbing at The Barons arms & chest…. The Baron put his hand over Vincent’s eyes just as Vincent’s body quickly stopped from his heart being stabbed & him bleeding out. His brain was getting fuzzy & after seeing darkness from the Barons hands he then saw a little flame emerge in the darkness & Vincent walked over to it. It was a camp fire with someone hunched over it… it was something naked with pale/grey boney skin & giant wings the same color as their skin….. Vincent touched their shoulder,brushing their curly black hair& a woman’s face with fangs & scary eyes shrieked very ghastly at him & then attacked him… then he was racing through the woods. Everything was moving so fast. Then fire emerged and he was consumed by it. Then he emerged into a dream where he was Tyler who was doing a couple things idk what it’s a dream but then Tyler goes to sleep aka takes a nap at 11 because he’s really tired and wants to try to talk to elle before midnight and write the rest of the story… but then Tyler dreams about the syth red picture that I dreamed u changed ur profile pic to. And then the slipknot wheel spinning, and then about elle falling into dark red and black and grey Smokey clouds & says I’ll reach for your hand if I’m falling, next to a brick ledge where Tyler is standing & grabs Tyler’s hand & goes to the Confetti Circus & with him tomorrow 8/4/22 or communicates to him that she can’t make it & that next week would work better because he needs 2 hours in advance to change his ticket seats with the circus because he doesn’t want to go without elle and could wait 7 days to go but wants to go tomorrow plz, but that would be so scary for Tyler if it’s not tomorrow because he feels elle falling & needs to hold onto her hand & make the matrix tik tok & wants to record one more song tomorrow before the they would meet up

[lostgreekgod]

change

a/n: yes. i did not know what to call this. sorry. also sorry for the slow-fast-slow-slow-really fast thing ? its how I felt, reading it. but tbh I didn't proof read as much. so plot holes, gigantic plot holes.

pairing: loki x f!reader; enemies to lovers.

request:

word count: 5936

warnings: um i think theres like hints of suicide mentions. death. oh also depression metions. lmk if you find anything else

a/a/n: my 2nd request! anon didnt give me a pronoun preference, so i did a f!reader. hope i did you justice with the story, anon.

oh another a/n bc i cant stop talking: i had to write the beginning about 3 times. I like slow development, and a one shot with enemies to lovers AND a kiss seemed rlly hard to write, but nevertheless. also omg the amount of research I did for this.

taglist: @theaudacitytowrite @gaitwae lmk if u want to be added!

//

2 months. That’s how long y/n had been holed up in the Avenger’s towers. Sure, she appreciated the amenities and the other various provisions, but she had to leave. She was sick and tired of “playing a part to help”. That’s what the doctor—Baron Strucker—told her before she was ruthlessly experimented on, and that’s what SHIELD told her when she was rescued. Of course, at one point in her life, she had thought of doing something for the world, but now? All she wanted now was some peace. She simply wanted to resign into the flow of life and its rigorous cycles of life and death, go wherever fate led her. Oh, what she would do for a little cabin in the woods—she would go berry picking every day with a little golden dog that she would love more than life. She would enjoy the solace, her mind thrumming with happiness as she took in the simplest worldly pleasures. But instead, she was stuck here, “training” so she could “save the world”. She wished she could simply tuck her abilities away, pretend they never existed.

‘You have the ability to manipulate binding energy,’ they had said to her. Apparently, she could alter the structural—sometimes molecular constitution of any object or substance in her vicinity. Her younger self would cherish her powers, but right now, y/n would do anything to live a normal life. Just when she thought her life couldn’t be worse, she was ordered to train with a said god to enhance her deranged abilities. Loki—the God of Lies and Mischief—also possessed a set of powers, rather on similar lines as hers. Except, he could manipulate his surroundings and create new things to suit his needs, while y/n’s abilities were all about destruction. She could tear anything—anything apart, regardless of how tight its atomic constituent was. It certainly scared her, the fact that she had still not managed to get her powers to work at her will, but almost everyone assured her that she would soon. Except Loki. He told her that she would never be able to wield her abilities to their full extent, that she would never be a hero. Surprisingly, she agreed. She was too unstable to control them, she had felt it. Every time she tried summoning her powers, nothing would happen. Not even when she stretched her arms out and everything. But oh, when she got mad, boom! Everything around her would literally explode! She had seen the look in people’s eyes when she caused something like that. Monster, they would say. No matter how unintentional it was, she still had those memories ingrained in her mind; after all, they visited her every night in her nightmares.

“Get away from me!” the woman yelled with her child limp in her arms, tears streaming down her face. Her lip wobbled as she tried to contain what was left of her sanity.

“I’m only trying to help- “ y/n stammered, her hands shaking. What had she done?

“He is dead, because of you. You are done trying to help. Get away from me, you monster!” the woman yelled, shoving at her—and that’s when all of y/n’s bodily functions stopped, her heart running cold. She was a monster.

She sighed loudly. Every other day, she would wake up breathing so heavily, FRIDAY would ask her if she needed a doctor. Her skin would be coated with sweat; it would drip down her chin when she sat up. Her heart would beat so hard against her ribs, almost as if it would tear off and run away screaming. But not for long, she would promise herself. No one would get hurt at her expense. She needed the perfect plan to escape the Avengers—she was smart enough to know that if she was caught, she wouldn’t be given the same liberty she had now. There would always be eyes on her, and she would never be able to leave. They’d probably put a camera in her room, even perhaps put a transmitter in her skin, and that was something she was wholly against.

“Knock-knock, time for training!” Steve’s cheery voice rang outside y/n’s door.

Mustering the best happy voice possible, she called back, “Be right there!” Sighing, she shifted out of her sheets and headed for the shower. She had a long day before she could commit to her planning.

Loki warmed up in the empty room. Or he tried to. He was mostly just flipping his dagger in his hand, his chest jittering in nervousness, but his face always the cold neutral mask. He was supposed to train y/n every day, and it was getting on his last nerve. Sure, the Midgardian was very much gifted, but he was much worried for her. Not to mention the things he seemed to be… feeling for her. He told himself it was only because she was a lot like him. She simply needed a mentor. So why couldn’t he be what she needed? He could see how hard she struggled to control the energy within her, he could see how she was in need of desperate help. Yet, he was harsher with her than he was with the other heroes, never missing an opportunity to wound her verbally. She needed to stay away from him, and since Rogers wouldn’t honor his wishes about not wanting to be y/n’s instructor, the only way for him to make sure he wouldn’t have to spend any longer with her was to have her despise him so much, that she asked Steve to stop her training with him. She was a new addition to the group, so most obviously the soldier would make sure that she got whatever she needed like the honorable, benevolent captain he was. But what surprised him was how y/n seemed to agree with every insult he shot at her. He would call her worthless, and she wouldn’t even blink an eye at him. He would tell her that she was insignificant, that she was simply dead weight to the Avengers, and she would simply gesture at him to continue with the training and hurry back to the sanctity of the room the moment they were done for the day. Most obviously, he could see that she was planning something, but what?

y/n channeled another wave of white energy through her fingers towards him, screaming. But all her effort couldn’t even shake the god from his stance. She inhaled again, charging at him. Combat, he had said to her. Today, she was working on implementing the energy around her in combat, and she was not doing well. She threw a weakly made fist at him, him easily dodging. She turned around, stretching her leg in the air, a kick aimed for the face. He gripped her calf as she laid one hand on his chest. Just when he thought it was over, she channeled a small burst of energy at him, causing him to stumble back, pulling her with him. She fell against him onto the floor, her face inches away from his. She stared into his green, green eyes—they were like little droplets of rainwater. Not entirely blue, but not exactly colorless either. Just pale, almost transparent, with the littlest specks of green and gray. It looked like the sky, just before it would begin to snow. Shivers ran up her spine, she could feel the chill of the crisp color. It reminded her of a gentle breeze before an obvious storm. Subconsciously, she leaned towards him, before Loki pushed her off of him, bringing her back to her senses. His heart thundered in his chest. She had almost kissed him, and he would have let her. He had to end this. Now.

“And what in Midgard was that?” Loki’s steely voice came a few seconds later. Y/n said nothing. She simply lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. She wasn’t one to explain her internal torment, especially not to someone who seemed to hate her so much. She shut her eyes, regretting letting her guard down. He looked at her with no expression on his face, except a slight scorn adorning his lips—she thought it was because of how sweaty she looked with her clothes drenched and her lungs screaming for oxygen. Oh, what she would do if she had known otherwise.

“I asked you a question.” His voice came again, baritone as ever. Y/n ran that voice over in her head. That sweet, euphonious voice that coated his words like icing on a cake. But the angelic voice he had just never suited the tone in which he spoke with her. She wondered how he would sound when he spoke to a lover. She thought of sweet whispers of secret love, his cool, calm voice, and shuddered. Perhaps in another life, she would have done something for the attraction she felt towards him. Perhaps if she were a different person, someone stronger, smarter, someone without as many problems, she would honor the urge she felt in her mind every time her eyes landed on him. It angered her how HYDRA had stolen her life from her in just a short amount of time, her last moments of leading a normal, content life snatched away from her like taking candy from a baby.

Loki watched her as she struggled to channel her energy towards the target. She was distracted, and it was not because of their “moment” earlier. Every time she readied herself to harness the energy around her, a wisp of a look would pass her eyes and she would falter. He wondered what caused that.

“Get up, mortal. I do not have all day.”

y/n was done. She couldn’t do anything more for the day. The boy’s face engulfed her mind, the cries of his mother filling her ears. What was she thinking? She did not deserve love. Not after what she did. She was only trying to help.

“Now!” Loki ordered, his foot slightly kicking hers in an attempt to bring her back from wherever her mind had drifted. He saw how her eyes became glassy-- as if she was indulging in an old memory. Almost as if it pained her to witness the same repeatedly. He tried calming his feral heart. He wondered when his mind had given up on all reasoning, letting him feel the wrath of his little pumping organ.

Now, her anger was directed towards him. Who was he to tell her what to do? She didn’t have to follow anyone’s orders, much less his. She was the only one who trained day and night, and at what expense? Loki’s amusement? No thanks.

“No.” she deadpanned; her eyes still focused on the ceiling.

“I beg your pardon?” he sputtered at her incredulous response.

Meeting his eyes with her still glassy ones, she repeated. “I said no.”

Loki stared at her for a moment. The Midgardian had just defied his direct order. She surely was something else. He studied her eyes, how the e/c irises seemed almost devoid of any life. His heart yearned to comfort her, betraying his quiet mind with its stranger intentions.

Shaking his head, he said again, “I will have to report you, then.”

“Go ahead.” Anyone was smart enough to know that was the last thing Loki would do. He wasn’t one to approach the Captain, especially not for such insolent matters. What was y/n playing at?

“Do you really take me for a fool? When I ask you to get up, you do as I say. Or did you forget I am your instructor?” he said, his voice edging with a warning. Y/n was now getting on his last nerve.

She stared at him, her eyes never leaving his. She wasn’t going to do it. No one orders her around; she was now a free individual. Isn’t that what SHIELD told her when she was rescued? She could do as she liked, unlike how it was when she was being… experimented on.

“I’m not doing it. I told you I was done for the day. I am going to leave,” she said, getting up from her place on the floor. Loki watched her, still bewildered. He had thought a lot of things about her, but he never thought she would be so bold. Who was she? How would she have been, if she wasn’t made to endure the torture that she had? Would she be happy, smile that brilliant smile? Would her eyes radiate the joy that he had seen only in her older pictures? When she was wild and full of life, when she was free?

He whipped his hand around, green strands of seidr erupting from his fingertips, and y/n was back in front of him again, instead of at the door. He wouldn’t let this happen again. This was the end of his time with y/n. He had to get a grip over his foolish heart.

“Hey!” she yelled, her hands clenching. She could feel the anger surge deep in her. Could he not let her be? She wanted to be alone after the embarrassment she had caused herself. Oh, how she regretted it.

Loki couldn’t help the little smirk on his face. He watched as she took a deep breath and glared at him before turning to leave again. He snapped his fingers, and there she was again, in front of him, ugly anger simmering in the pit of her stomach.

“You are no match for me, and you never will be. So you might as well treat me with some respect,” he spat, his heart stuttering for a moment in response to his harshness. But he might as well do it. He couldn’t train with her, not if he was going to have confused “feelings” festering in his heart. He had to make sure she went to Steve asking for a change of training instructors, it was for the best.

Breathing again, y/n tried to keep the anger down. She knew what happened the last time she had felt such anger. Monster.

“Let me go,” she spat, her eyes sharp.

“Worthless. That’s what you are,” he teased, his heart still thumping hard against his ribcage. It seemed to tell him, don’t do it! don’t! But when had he ever listened to his heart? Especially when it was being so unreasonable?

“We already established that. Let me leave,” she said, her breathing shallow. “Please,” she added a second later. She had to regain control of the energy festering in her core. No, no, no, her conscious chanted.

“You can’t be an Avenger with just powers, y/l/n. You need skill.” He said, his voice laced with venom his heart didn’t intend for.

y/n studied his eyes, wondering where he was going with this. Surely, he couldn’t know of her countless mess-ups…

Finish it! His mind yelled at him.

“You couldn’t even save him,” he whispered, never leaving her eyes. Of course. Of course, he had read her file. Why wouldn’t he have? Her killing someone was no news in a tower full of heroes. After all, accidents were what made the best of them. He watched as her eyes widened and her lip quivered, before her irises narrowed into slits, and gritted her teeth. And that was when all hell broke loose.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through.” She whispered, her voice colder than ice. A shiver ran up his spine. A moment ago, she was so close to breaking apart, but now she looked like a statue set in stone, her teeth baring out, snarling at him.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Crack, went his heart. He sighed internally as he braced himself.

“It’s pathetic. You are pathetic.” He managed to breathe out before he was thrown back into the walls, the steel around him suddenly shattering, exploding everywhere. He summoned his daggers in a flash, only to land his eyes on a now levitating y/n, her body suspended in mid-air as she glared at him with completely white eyes, glowing like the morning light. Her hands were now fists at her sides, sheer power radiating around them. Wisps of white strands of energy looped around her figure, making her look almost ethereal. Her hair floated around her as if they were disturbed by a slight breeze. Electric. That was what she was.

y/n didn’t know what happened. One moment she was in pieces, her heart about to shatter at his accusation, and the next moment she was suspended in air, feeling such power in her bones, as if she could do anything.

“I am not pathetic.” She said, her voice sweet as honey. She scrunched her eyebrows. That was not what she sounded like. It was almost as if the energy around her caused the sound to resonate, her voice reverberating against itself, causing multiple tones. Either way, it was all so beautiful, even Loki was mesmerized for a second.

y/n looked down at her hands, the white energy swimming between her fingertips, ready to strike. Monster, she remembered. This is what had happened before the boy had died. Before she had killed him. She simply reached out to him, and she had somehow sucked the energy out of him. She hadn’t told anyone how she felt at that moment. She felt power. True, raw power, almost as if the boy’s energy had transferred into her. It destroyed her how she could feel such ecstasy at the price of one’s life. It disgusted her. He’s right. You are worthless. A monster. You deserve to rot.

She fell to her knees, all that power quickly dissipating with a metallic thrum, leaving a smell of electricity in the air, like something had been singed. She held her hands to her heart, wishing she could rip it out. Could she, perchance? With tears streaming down her face, she met a fascinated Loki’s eyes. It was almost as if he was excited. Like HYDRA was, when they first witnessed their superweapon in action. She scrunched her eyebrows, her voice laced with venom, “I hate you.” Pushing herself up, she ran. She didn’t know where she wanted to go, she simply ran. Hands pumping beside her, her legs weeping under the stress of the running. She didn’t stop. She couldn’t. After all, she didn’t deserve it. She let the pain seep into her muscles, her tendons screaming at the lack of aeration. She sobbed again; the ball of pain still lodged in her throat. She turned back to the Avenger’s tower. She was leaving tonight.

----

She shoved some clothes in a duffel, her carefully curated plan of many months forgotten. It had been too long, too long of spending a comfortable time in the tower, getting everything she needed. She didn’t deserve any of it, not after what she had done.

Sniffing, she wiped at the tears on her cheeks haphazardly. She put on a plain black shirt with grey jeans and combat boots and walked out of her room. She would run far, far away where she could hurt no one and keep her abilities tucked away for good. She made her way to the kitchen, deciding to sneak through the back doors of the cafeteria. The cameras wouldn’t be operative in those sectors, she would be able to make it out of the compound rather easily. Pushing the door open, she made sure not to make any noise. Just because the cameras weren’t functioning, she couldn’t afford to be calm. She had to be faster in getting out. Hugging the wall, she shifted her way into the kitchen, her eyes scanning for any heroes nearby. She could hear Thor’s snores coming from a nearby room. She turned towards the center table, and her heart leaped as she instinctively ducked. Loki. Of all days, the insomniac had chosen this day to stay up and read late in the night. He hummed a little tune as he prepared his tea. Little did y/n know that one of the reasons he couldn’t sleep that night was because of her. He simply couldn’t get over how he had hurt her. His heart convulsed whenever he saw the image of her tear-streaked face, her eyes focused on the energy radiating off her hands like she had seen something terrible. A monster. He wished he had picked something else to drive her mad over. He turned around to fetch himself his favorite honey and lemon tea bag, his eyes catching some quick movement. A little more assessment revealed to him that it was none other than y/n. He stayed calm, minding his own business. Why was she here? Maybe she needed a midnight snack? He had sometimes heard her screaming in her room, possibly from nightmares, did she have another one now? But why was she hiding from him?

y/n shifted behind the wall again. She was certain he had seen her, the little shift in his demeanor—the sudden stiffness of his body being on alert gave his neutral face away. She stepped away from the wall. She would have to fight her way through. Loki had seen her at her peak, and not to mention how he too once wanted nothing to do with the Avengers, so perhaps he would be more thoughtful and simply let her go.

“Hello, y/n,” Loki said, without looking up from his cup. Perhaps this was a confrontation? y/n had never once lost her cool in front of him, not even when he degraded her with the vilest of insults. Maybe she wanted him to apologize? Stop thinking, he chided at himself. She hasn’t even said anything yet.

He finally glanced at her, only to freeze. She looked like she was up and ready to go, hair away from her face, comfortable clothes, and… a bag. Not any bag. A duffel bag. Her eyes were puffy, her nose red—like she had been crying. She never cried. This only meant one thing. She was running away.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice soft, his mind cautious of her movements. If she was planning on sneaking away, he was an obstacle she had come across at the last minute. A hurdle she would have to cross.

y/n stared at him for a moment. Would he let her go? “Leaving.” She said, her voice as soft as his. Maybe a display of some emotion would help her.

Loki waited for a beat. “Why?” he questioned.

y/n felt her anger simmer again. Why was she always being interviewed, all her actions always questioned? It was like she was back at HYDRA, always being told what to do, never being able to do what she wanted without begging for permission. Nothing was different from HYDRA and the Avengers headquarters, except for the fact that the Avengers provided some twisted sort of so-called freedom. She was going to be made to hurt people if her energy was continued to be harnessed. But she wouldn’t allow that. Not again.

“Because.” She wondered what to say. She could have threatened him, but that would only make him warier of her. But with being calm, if all goes down, she would still have an advantage over him, and might just be able to make a narrow escape.

“Because…” Loki said, motioning at her to continue. It irritated him how he could still have feelings festering for her when she could annoy him easily by simply wasting words.

Y/n sighed through her nose. Perhaps she would have to threaten him. “As much as I loved our training,” she scoffed, “I believe it's time for me to leave. I do not belong here.”

What was she saying? Of course, she belonged here, it was him who didn’t belong. She was so powerful, and no matter how much she tried to deny it, she had a kind heart. He had seen how she smiled at little moments subconsciously—he was there when she had petted a little stray puppy, assuming that no one was looking. But he watched. He watched as she smiled sadly, her eyes betraying her strong poise. She giggled lightly as the pup tried to lick her face, her hands reaching out to scratch its fur. He smiled, his heart wishing her life had a better story to live.

“I’m afraid I don’t take your meaning,” he breathed, his eyes never leaving hers. He noticed how they flickered down to the ground for a moment, before returning to connect with his, a new fire lighting them up.

You’re a monster! Get away! y/n could hear the woman screaming at her. She would fight Loki and leave, or she would die trying to get past him. Either was fine, as long as she would never, ever have to use her cursed abilities again.

“Because I want to. And you cannot stop me,” she whispered, her voice hinting at the tiniest of a threat. Please, she wanted to add.

“I’m afraid I cannot do so.” He whispered sternly, setting his cup down. He had caught the threat in her voice. He only wanted her to be away from him, but he seemed to have taken it too far. She was going to leave, and his heart wouldn’t let that happen. How would she fend for herself? She wasn’t even stable. What if another accident took place, and this time she was in the center of it? she could barely deal with the death of the little boy, how would she deal with herself if her abilities had gotten the best of her again? It would destroy her, entirely, and his stubborn heart wouldn’t let that happen to her, not when he knew he could have done something to prevent it.

y/n’s heart thumped loudly. Would she be able to fight her way past Loki? Her energy was stronger, but his seidr was quicker. Sneakier. “Suit yourself,” she whispered back, before taking a step towards him. Her eyes began to glow white, a brilliant light that could magic anyone, as her hands summoned power. Ringlets of white swam around her like wisps of smoke. One last time, she told herself. One last time, and she wouldn’t ever have to use her abilities again. Not that she was any good anyway. Loki breathed through his nose, trying to calm his speeding heart. He could never get over how beautiful her form was.

“Move,” she said, her voice echoing, ricocheting against itself. Beauty. Beauty that a monster like her didn’t deserve. It couldn’t hurt to try for a last compromise before forcing her way out.

Loki huffed. He didn’t realize y/n would put use of her gifts. It mildly surprised him, that she would summon her energy to get past him. Countless times where she could have used her abilities for little things like he did, she never did. That hesitation he usually saw in her eyes, that quiver in her lips, the slight shaking of her fingers—he could see none of them. It was as if that one barricade that usually disabled her from ensuring basic jurisdiction over her abilities now fuelled her desire to escape. He summoned his seidr, green fibers of satin-like seidr erupting from his fingertips. He wouldn’t hurt her. Never.

y/n clenched her hands into fists, feeling the energy fighting to leave her. She was simply a mediator; she couldn’t create energy. She simply took the energy from one place and deposited it in another. Shutting her eyes, she felt it swirl in her gut, hissing and crackling like electricity. One last time. Never again. Breathing out slowly, she kept her hands outstretched and opened her palms, letting the energy leave her through her fingertips. It felt like hours, this little action of hers, but little did she know this took a mere few nanoseconds.

One moment Loki had summoned his seidr, the green filaments tickling the insides of his fingertips; and the next, he was thrown across the kitchen, his vision blurring. How had she suddenly acquired the capability of harnessing such energy? He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them. Where were the rest of the Avengers? Surely, they would have heard the commotion by now? Wanda and Pietro were y/n’s only friends, they would definitely be able to calm her, so where were they? He held his hands to his chest, his mind still dazed from the impact. He laughed internally. How long had it been since he had taken a hit so hard? He scanned the room, noticing the shimmer of her power around it. She had created some sort of force field that kept all activity of her abilities inside it, like a containment—preventing an accidental explosion. Clever. Perhaps the field contained sound too, which was probably why the others weren’t alerted.

y/n wanted to scream. Just one little energy blast. That was all it took her to veritably destroy a god. She had brought a god down to his knees in just a few seconds, and power still surged within her bones. She truly was a monster. She shut her eyes, slowly letting the energy dissipate from her body. Sure, the force field would have prevented a mishap, but she wouldn’t have it. This was the last time she would use her “gift”, and she would control it entirely, not the other way round. She met Loki’s eye’s once more, his green pale eyes—and wished things would have been different for the umpteenth time. Little did she know, he wished for the same thing.

Loki’s chest felt heavy, like he carried a huge anchor on his back. What had he done? He couldn’t lose her—he had to fix his mess. He teleported himself in front of her, blocking the exit. He wasn’t strong enough to stop her, but he knew what to do this time.

y/n gasped. She walked right into Loki, he had teleported himself in front of her and she had reacted too slowly. His hands help her by her shoulders, warmth radiating off of his palms. She could feel it through the thick material of her t-shirt.

“y/n,” he breathed. “You are making a mistake.”

Ignoring her thrashing heart, she managed to whisper, sarcasm edging into her voice. “Really?”

He shook her lightly. He wished he could take it all back. It was all his fault. He had destroyed what little resolve she had in her. He could see it in her e/c eyes. The lifelessness, the withering of her very soul.

“I was wrong. You are more than worthy. You did not deserve what HYDRA and Strucker did to you,” he said, his eyes searching hers. He wished he could tell her everything he felt, speaking in a language could never truly express what one felt in their heart.

y/n scoffed. Oh, how she wanted to believe him. “You are only saying these things to stop me from leaving. But here’s the thing. I have made my decision,” she said, her voice sullen, giving her away. Monster, monster, monster, you do not deserve to live, her mind chanted.

“I am not a hero,” she concluded, the lump in her throat choking her. “I have killed people. I am a monster.” And at that moment, it was as if a huge weight had released her, but her heart felt like it was hanging by a thread. Her revelation had caused her a short-termed relief, but by confessing her darkest secret, she had acknowledged its truth, and somehow it made everything worse.

“y/n,” Loki said again. Was he too late? Was she gone forever? “I may be the God of Lies, but right now, this very moment, I need you to trust me.” Leaning in towards her, he continued, his voice soft, like how y/n had imagined once too many times. “You are not a monster. When you know what you’ve done, when you regret your actions, you prove that you aren’t a monster. You prove to the world that you are as human as one could possibly be, you prove to yourself that you are deserving of forgiveness. It may take more time, even years, but you will learn to forgive yourself, you will learn to accept yourself as who you are. I am well aware that my previous actions have done nothing to help you, and I must admit that was awfully foolish and hasty on my part—courtesy of the little secret feelings I have recently begun to harbor for you,” he paused, running his tongue across his lower lip. He had just confessed his little secret. y/n looked at him with teary eyes, and at that moment he could see all the pain she felt, he could feel everything she felt. “I see you; I see myself in you—and you must believe me when I tell you that though you may never move on, you will grow from this. After all, is that not what truly matters?”

y/n wished he was lying to her. Sadly, he wasn’t—and she knew it. She wished she could see herself in a different light, a kinder one, and a little speck of hope blossomed in the darkest parts of her heart. Maybe, just maybe, she could grow. One day perhaps, her mind wouldn’t call her a monster, and she would have forgiven herself. Maybe she could let herself be happy. Ultimately, is that not what anyone wanted? To just be truly happy? To be able to live their life to the fullest, without any regrets, without their guilt consuming them every second of every day? To live a wholesome life, and to die a happy death?

Loki sensed the shift in the atmosphere, how she had loosened up slightly, her heart registering his words. He felt his heart lift up in newfound hope. He ran his thumb over her forehead, pushing back the little strands of hair before settling on her jaw; just like he had imagined doing countless times. The air suddenly smelled of promises, and a glimmer of sweet happiness. It was almost infective.

“Do you really mean it?” y/n asked him, her voice filled with hope, her heart beating like it suddenly had a reason to do so. Like it had discovered life again. That life was worth living.

Loki smiled, a little quirk of his lips, a little crinkle in the corner of his eyes. He glanced at her lips before closing the little distance between them. y/n relished the new surge she felt in her veins, like a thousand flowers blooming in a field. A few moments ago, she hated the feeling of power in her fibers, the dry swell of it simply causing her to hate on her existence; but now? Now she felt a new kind of swell, a relief. A relief, that could only be felt when there was hope. A brief sanguineness that could be achieved only when one believed in themselves. Suddenly, she looked forward to the future.

“Undoubtedly, my dear. I apologize with all my heart for the distress I have caused you these few days. I assure you that nothing will disrupt this little utopia that we have managed to find, ever again," he promised, his heart singing. He could work this out for her, and for himself. She deserved as much, and he was capable of giving her everything she need, and he would do so gladly. And she was kissing him again, his lips against hers, soft as feathers, as light as an angel’s caress. And she knew then. She knew she would forgive herself. After all, you only live one life.

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[boobchuy]

ok talk 2 me about amphibia wandersong au. what are the plantars/grime up to. is andrias the baron

JHSGJHG OK OK OK

First off.. anyone who wants to play wandersong for themselves or watch a playthrough of it I recommend not reading this post to avoid SPOILERS!!! There will be lots of that here (and I also recommend not reading it even if u don’t mind, wandersong is something best experienced for urself blind :’) but again, that’s just my own opinion! Feel free to do whatever u want :thumbsup: )

This is all under read more for above reason… and the undeniable fact that this will be novella type long ramblings. I am so sorry.

I have to admit before anything else that I haven’t been able to give much thought to what happens to the other characters in this au ToT. amphibia’s cast doesn’t compare to the whole of wandersong’s ! so ive thought of keeping most of the characters in the game to here and maybe swapping a few of them where it most fits… most of everything im gonna be saying here is highly subject to change!!

NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS U ASKED LMFAO SORRY THIS IS… SO LONG.

Im not actually sure whether its best to make the amphibians human or keep them as amphibians. Making them human seems like the logical choice, but wandersong as a world is quirky enough where no one would bat an eye at humanoid frog people, lol, but I digress! Anything would work, really

The most ive thought about the plantars is that anne lives w them over at Delphi! Some wartwoodian folk live at the town, some don’t. most of them fit more in langtree tbh, but whatever fits whatever. Annes backstory has changed a lot too. For one thing, she and the plantars aren’t related by blood, and so she is the only witch known to live in the town. (she was kinda regarded similarly in season 1 canon as a ‘monster’) in short, annes adopted! And the plantars were the only ones willing to take her in to their home. And yes they are still farmers in this au.

Grime (and the toads in general) is……………. difficult to think about since like, they don’t have any sort of foundation for them T_________T one of the saddest things abt Audrey is how she literally had… no one on her side that she was close to on a personal level, or at the very least no one was shown or was there any implication that there was. Eyala is there, but that was only due to circumstance, and everyone who has played wandersong knows how that even ended up in canon. And as such, m’not sure what to make of grime’s role o(-( I am so sorry. Ive thought of swapping him w eyala, but that does NOT fit at all. The next best thing is that the toads would be new characters and that sasha would actually have other support systems throughout the whole plot, but she’d probably be more distant from them in comparison to canon.

As for the newts. Oh boy. Another difficult thing to tackle, though a bit less than the toads since theres something to scrounge for here. Andrias could def fit the baron! Regarding him as like, the Big Guy and santa claus and all. But as marcy’s dad? That’s where it gets complicated I think kjhkjhsdfjk. Man its so hard to think about their families in this when we’ve got little to no content of them in canon :’) annes was easy since in-game theyre… *coughs*, but anyways back to marcy

Im not sure on what to do w her parents, of keeping them as in the game or in amphibia. Marcy kinda fits kiwis personality to a certain extent if I kept them as the former. Like, I imagine her moving away from home to get away from her fam and Chismet in general. [holding back from rambling abt marcys relationship w everyone bc im trying to focus on the newts] UHUH UHUH UH I have a feeling its best to keep her parents as in the game (viable to change if her parents in the show are ever revealed) and some newts in the show live in chismet

Andrias… what do I do with you big guy… Whatever it is he works in the factory, too. If he WERE to be the baron though, then thats a whole nother can of worms to open. So much stuff to unpack here in regards to what happened to him and how he got there. (oh my god imagine the core as the stupid happy kid toy. That’s so.)

as for Olivia and yunan. They live in chismet and work for the factory as well, Olivia can fit elmer to a certain degree, though except of being… what he is in the game, she’d kinda be less intense and is actually privy to the plan to take the factory down. Yunan is also a part of said plan, whether she takes elara’s role is something im not sure of. I imagine yulivia to just kinda be these two dancing around each other, and in the end of everything is when they talk things out :’)

GOD ALRIGHT. UHM. This is long. And this doesn’t even cover HALF of what wandersong is. Lots of stuff to work on here. If anyone else has ideas feel free to send em to me whether in asks or like, reblog this post!!

And again, this is all subject 2 change !!! this au is less of fitting everything and more of me having fun w the calamity trio and cramming them into kiwi, miriam and audrey’s roles in wandersong lol. I cant even begin to think of how to manage all of that the other way around kjhdfkhdfg

That said, if the person reading this hasn’t, please check out wandersong!!!! It is so deeply, deeply underrated, and it has given me so many reasons to smile in the past few years ive known it!!! If u have time of ur day where u just want to relax and be a bard and save the world and sing ur silly little songs, this game is a must >:D

#talking to frogs #ws au #i spent an hour writing this on a ms word doc. #thank you so much #dragon if u have any of ur own ideas please... plesase trell me them.... i have a need #THIS GOES TO ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS PLAYED WANDERSONG AND IS AN AMPHIBIA ENJOYER ACTUALLY #also GO CHECK OUT WANDERSONG #CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH

[redrose-arrow]

hi Duncan x halt anon here and you have NO IDEA what you’ve just unleashed (IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THESE TWO FOR SO LONGN) but you said to go ahead and I will until it gets annoying!!!

ANYWAY so these two are...pretty different, right. But in the books Duncan lets Halt get away with a LOT and genuinely values him & Halt does have at minimum SOME respect for Duncan, bc I don’t think Duncan would tolerate just straight-up disrespect, but their dynamic is “very good friends friends who’ll tease/bully each other” more so than “loyal follower & royal leader”. SO what I’m thinking: after Crowley & Halt rescue him from the castle & they’re on their way to the tournament, Duncan realizes Halt is That Guy From The Ball That Duncan Totally Wasn’t Crushing On From Afar, and he’s like....BUT THEY SAID YOU WERE DEAD so Halt yanks him aside while Crowley’s distracted and is like “SHUT UP ILL TELL YOU LATER.” Duncan won’t tell Crowley or the others even if Halt doesn’t wanna explain but he IS very confused & Halt knows he won’t stop pestering him for an explanation...So he tells Duncan the story, late one night by the campfire, when Crowley is fast asleep. Halt keeps his voice low and he’s kinda reluctant to tell it at first but he gets through it, tells Duncan all about how his own brother resented him for being heir to a throne he never wanted in the first place, how he saw Ferris change and become more distant and manipulative over the years, how he witnessed firsthand how power could corrupt a man (and has the scars to prove it). Duncan asks about his parents, because surely they would’ve recognized the attempts on his life? “They fought too much to notice,” Halt says dismissively. “Even if they didn’t, I was hardly the son they would’ve wanted on the throne—Ferris was more charismatic, more amiable. I was the firstborn but he was their favourite, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to ruin that for them.” And he talks, eventually, about his little sister Caitlyn; the only one who saw what was going on and believed him when he told her, fever-ridden and delirious from a batch of “spoiled shrimp”, that Ferris was trying to kill him. The words come easier when Halt talks about Caitlyn and there’s something like a smile curled on his lips, and Duncan’s heart sorta skips a beat in his chest because Oh Right, I Used To Have A Crush On This Guy And It Turns Out I Still Kinda Do!!!! And then Halt talks about how Pritchard found him and how his mentor is the only one besides his terrible family who knows the truth about him & why he left, and maybe he doesn’t say it outright but he 100% implies that Pritchard is just so important to him. Like “father that I’ve never had, except I did have a father but he sucked and Pritchard was just so much kinder & better” kind of important

I took the liberty of copy-pasting your second ask so that no one else has to wait for the rest :)

"part 2 bc that was getting long,,,, ANYWAY, so Duncan and Halt stay up a bit longer talking—they move away from Ferris’ assassination attempts and just chat about other stuff for a bit. Duncan enjoys having another person to relate to abt the tediousness & honestly? the loneliness of royal life, and Halt honestly doesn’t expect to enjoy talking to someone else this much. The only other person he’s really connected to since coming to Araluen is Crowley, but Crowley is just enough of a bastard for Halt to tolerate (and maybe even like), so it’s a surprise that the other person he can connect with is a straight-laced prince. Also Duncan’s basically like “okay so this guy is an (ex?) crown prince, he’s INSANELY skilled & actually very funny in a deadpan, sarcastic way, AND he’s helping me take back my kingdom from an evil baron....yeah I can get behind this”. So yadda yadda they get through the confrontation with Morgarath at the tournament, and, true to his word, Duncan doesn’t tell any of the others about Halt’s background. At the end of the book when Pritchard is murdered, Duncan hears about it from Baron Arald and he’s like....oh, shit. He tracks down Halt and Crowley, both of whom are appropriately enraged and grieving, and makes proper funeral arrangements for Pritchard & allows them some time off to process their grief. Afterwards he goes to Halt privately, bc now he’s the only one who knows abt Halt’s childhood & he knows Halt lost more than a dear mentor—and Halt’s in his cabin being very short-tempered and snappy with him but Duncan just sits and waits. And eventually the anger kinda drains out of Halt, and he sits down at the table w Duncan and over ale they share stories about man who’d been like a father to Halt; Duncan didn’t know him all that well, but Pritchard had been around the castle enough when Duncan was a child for him to remember some of the chaos the man had caused. Halt tells a tale or two of his own and explains, a lottttt later when he’s drunker than he should be in front of the almost-king, that Pritchard had saved his life—they’d met while Halt was still at the castle and Pritchard had taught him how to swim some months before Ferris tried to drown him. But it was more than that, Halt tells him, it was so much more than that. Pritchard had been a safe haven, had given him refuge, had given him hope when he needed it most. And now he was gone and Halt was just..... he doesn’t finish the sentence but Duncan nods and says “I know”. Because yeah, he does know. And they sit in silence for a while longer, not as an (almost) King and Ranger but as two men who know what it’s like to be alone.

And now they don’t have to be!!! AND THIS ONLY COVERED THE FIRST TEY BOOK I have,,,, so many more things to say about these two but I THINK this has gotten long enough so 💀 I’ll leave this here. Ty for listening to my rant abt medieval middle-aged gays :D (also disclaimer: at this point, I think Duncan would be more or less the only one with some developing romantic feelings. But then again this only covers the first book, so Halt’s own revelation would come later)"

ANON YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Their dynamic is indeed just that. Duncan recognising him out of the blue and Halt having to physically shut him up? Legendary. Duncan feeling his crush return? Amazing.

I never thought about Duncan and Halt relating about royal life but it makes so much sense??? especially just talking about the lessons and the trouble having friends etc etc. The resulting whole no-longer-alone thing has me *this* close to tears. Duncan then tracking down Halt -- he 11/10 w o u l d. Halt being angry and then just almost sobbing while Duncan has no idea wtf he should do but the fact that he's there and he's listening means everything to Halt.

Anon, I have absolute 0 regrets unleashing this. Awfully bold of you to assume that it'll get annoying. You fully got me now, I'm shipping them hard. I'm invested. Please do elaborate whenever you wish. I will gladly listen to more rants about medieval middle-aged gays. Go ahead.

#crowley is just enough of a bastard for halt to tolerate him #is the best fucking sentence i've read all week #anyhow #I LOVE ALL OF THIS #i could rant for hours about how i love each and every sentence that was sent #like #easily #so if anyone else has any halt/duncan stuff #drop it!!!! #i need more #thank you and good night #ranger's apprentice #rangers apprentice #john flanagan #halt o'carrick #duncan #ask redrose #ask redrosearrow #hey rosalie what did you do when you were home alone for a week? #oh nothing just cried over two characters I didn't know I could ship #no regrets

[mejomonster]

Would love to hear what everyone’s favorite dmbj drama is! And why, if you feel like saying. Like someone must prefer Mystic Nine? Or Reboot? Etc.

Or, ranking, since it can be hard to pick.

I’m gonna just try to list then if you wanna do it please do? Really curious, wanna hear what y’all love about the ones you do -3-)/

1. Ultimate Note: The Lost Tomb 3 (surprisingly to me, but it’s one I’d most likely rewatch, cast kinda shaky but gets stronger over time and this Xiaoge’s probably most like the books to me, also a lot more Xiaoge pov vibe scenes which I appreciated the focus on, and the wild stuff always happening combined with the good pacing is like why I come to dmbj without any big drawbacks, like I come for time travel doppelgängers/snake monsters/hurt comfort/weird parasites/evil uncles/weird dimensions/whatever tf is going on)

2. Time Raiders (my favorite Xiaoge maybe, also a big showcase of the whatever tf is going on dmb vibes with little dead time and massive heaps of romantic soulmate sappiness, also I’m in love with A-Ning).

3. The Lost Tomb 2 (it gets really muddy here as I’d rank all the others the same in terms of my enjoyment, but this one I’d probably rewatch the most % of, because the early iron triangle dynamic really was <3 for me here since I like building things up slow and Xiaoge being mysterious, also my fave Pangzi and one of my fave A-Nings, and I love the past trio horror mini story late in the show with Zhang Bu Xun that was pointless to watch but the scariest moment in dmbj for me)

4. The Lost Tomb (the original, the tomb set so cheap it all looks like fake block walls - oddly charming to me even when I hate it, a long form romantic action pingxie/buddy action pangxie, Xiaoge kills a man, Yang Yang Xiaoge is Peak what I imagine Xiaoge’s supposed to seem like to strangers “that cool mysterious 2000s looking Emo dude who can kill me!” Romance tropes galore, wu xie is the only damsel in distress I love, everything is wild, mysterious, and it’s Short which helps my attention span)

5. The Lost Tomb Reboot (I LOVE Wu Xie and Pangzi older, love their actors, Love Liu Sang, love the horror in this one the best as it’s much more my style, love the visuals, love Baron Chen despite being floored HES sunglasses, but the pacing I am really not a fan of and I have a very bad attention span)

6. Mystic Nine (I have never seen it but Zhang Rishan is HOT um that’s all I know? And I liked his actor in LORD Critical World, I like the period it’s in, heard the budget is bad which is a Plus for me tbh, i ship the two girls???)

7. Tomb of The Sea (BIG fan of old angsty Wu Xie, I really dig the horror in this one it resonates really well with me, one of its songs is literally my Favorite Liu Yuning song and dmbj song, but I just haven’t seen much of it yet so I can’t really guess it’s pacing or how completely bizarre it will get a la the dmbj usual o3o, but it’s budget looks nice so ugly-charm will probably not be found - though I love it’s aesthetics like tlt3 and Reboot, love it’s Wu Xie and Pangzi, I miss Xiaoge I know he’s barely in it ;-; me too wu xie ;-; )

*8. iPartment The Movie (technically it’s only a dmbj spoof but it has Gongsun Qian from Men With Sword as Xiaoge, a hottie as Wu Xie, my dude Hao Yun from Bureau of Transformers, Second Uncle is a LOT in this, and it’s certainly a wtf??!!?? Time which is rather in the dmbj spirit, I’m very glad I experienced it)

Tagging anyone who might wanna do it? If u feel like it: @humanlighthouse @jockvillagersonly @keyhsahla @merinnan @s1utspeare @staidwaters @jaecomments @cross-d-a @eirenical @thosch3i @elletromil @a-whump-muffin @unexpected-nightview anyone I forgot

#dmbj #the lost tomb #mystic nine #the lost tomb reboot #ultimate note #tlt2 #the lost tomb 2 #the lost tomb 3

[crazyaboutto]

Theory About The Ads We See On WandaVision

First ad was about Stark toaster

Second ad was Strücker watch

The ads are based on the key points of Wanda's life. Her and Pietro’s story began with their parents dying because of Stark producing war machines. Hence the Stark ad being Number 1. And the ad was about toaster, which was beeping as if a bomb that is about to explode, the way the parents died.

After their death, before CATWS, Wanda and Pietro got their powers because of Baron Von Strücker's experiments. It was a point of no return for them. Strücker has said “It is the age of miracles” in the end credits of CATWS. Which can be associated with time, hence the watch ad.

The following key points I can think of:

Ultron

Sokovia Accords

Infinity War

Endgame

Thanos

1. Ulton ad

Ultron is the next key point. That is when Pietro and Wanda has changed their allegiance. In the trailers, Vision runs as fast as Pietro. A reference to him and I think that scene will be shown in Episode 3. (Edit after episode 3: I was right about the Pietro reference while not correct for the ad but it can still happen in the next episode. It’s the first time we heard someone mention him since AoU)

I think the ad will be about computerization because they look like they are in 80s now. Or puppets because Ultron had a quote about puppets.

2. Sokovia Accords Ad

The accords was the way Avengers got splitted. Wanda was feeling immense guilt about what happened in Lagos too. Another key point in her life.

I think the ad would be about legal documents or lawyer and the brand would be named after Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross, maybe Thunderbolt Legal Advice.

3. Infinity War

Wanda and Vision were in peace yet Thanos sent Black Order to get Mind Stone. Then everything went to hell. Wanda had to kill Vision then watch Thanos revive him, only to kill him again. She was at peace when the Snap disintegrated her. Of course, this is another key point which is linked to 4. and 5.

I think the ad would be about jewelry of a store called Infinity or something like that.

4. Endgame

“I don’t even know who you are!” - “You will...” 

One of my favorite moments - Wanda wrecking Thanos on 1v1. She just got back to life and it was battle time. Thanos made his Corvus shoot his own troops to get rid of Wanda. So this is another key point. 

Later on we saw her talking to Clint as they talk about Vision and Natasha. “They both know”

Since 3. is about jewelry, I don’t think there will be a repeat of it. Since the next scene she was shown is about funeral, I think the ad will be about funeral arrangements.

5. Thanos

Thanos is another key person in Wanda’s life as I mentioned in 3 and 4. I think we would get an ad about him too. Since he is Mad Titan from Titan, maybe the ad will be about space exploration.

Edit after episode 3:

Hydra Soak Luxery Bath Powder

The tag line: Find the Goddess Within!

At the beginning of AOU, Avengers came to destroy last of Hydra and That’s how Wanda and Pietro was introduced to Avengers which is also life changing point for them. Maybe, Goddess refers to Wanda having godlike powers. She wrapped the reality 3 times so far and those are the ones we see.

-------------

So apparently, there will be 9 episodes. So far 2 ads are shown and I made a guess about following 5 which leaves 2 more ads. Maybe the remaining two will be about House of M because the show gives me that vibe.

Wanda please wrap the reality and bring Natasha and Pietro back!

#wanda maximoff #Vision #wandavision #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #wandavision theories #marvel theory #mine #Scarlet Witch

[franken-x]

This isn't a fandom but. characters specifically from vocaloid music videos if that works?

OO YES YES

so I'll be linking the music videos and this is probably gonna be mostly nilfruits focused (we'll see where this goes)

blorbo (top fave) : doc/dr popart

it kinda depends on the day but i uh. i listened to doctorine around like 400 times last year (I don't have the number anymore :pensive:) so def doc

doctorine

(hospitals, suicide, hospital affiliated paraphernalia)

scrunkly (cuteness aggression) : the bellboy

literally look at him. and I had a whole au and everything. i love him he is precious to me and he's living his best life in ironina

haine kleine

(see below for content warnings)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated fave) : oro andalucia

I cannot put into words how much I love this anticapitalist waluigi

he saw capitalism and was like "guess ill die"

ALSO THE FASHION JUST SLAPS. ITS SO UGLY BUT SO GOOD HE DID WHAT MAGICIANS PURE LOVE WAS TRYING TO DO BUT 10000X BETTER also I like the surrealism the references

salvador

(suicide references, eyestrain)

glup shitto (obscure fave): haine

not quite obscure but when I saw him in the background of ironina I was like "oh!!!! the man!!!!!!" haine and kleine is that type of song that you forget about for a few months and then when you listen to it again You listen to it for a week straight

but in terms of who appears in the background of music videos the most technically flurry and welter who have had the most appearances, one outside their actual series (baba yaga silhouettes (0:41)

haine kleine

(flashing, alcohol, depression, choking)

poor little meow meow (pathetic or problematic fave) : Fuck I already said haine he's literally the pinnacle of pathetic man UHHHHH armis?

I stole my name from her she's problematic bc she's a bitch but also I think she should be a pathetic girlboss I love those ppl i hope she's still alive OH BUT ALSO CLAY? definitely the most popular nilfruits character (maybe slightly less than kalmia but ehh) definitely a poor little meow meow

okay honestly most nilfruits mv characters are pathetic little meow meows

ESPECIALLY THE ONES IN SHAMA (which includes winnie schrader it's complicated but if u know miyashita yuu you know winnie)

shama kilmer

(religious trauma, human sexual trafficking, eye trauma, homophobia)

horse plinko (character id like to torment for whatever reason): okay first off fuck gui oakes but that answer is too easy so here's my ranking excluding gui

1. Ai (a mistaken belief of love)

2. Baron (franken X)

3. Haine (haine kleine)

okay so all of these guys are actively going through some shit and being tormented in all their MVs but that little part of my brain is like "it'd be so funny if you made it worse" and that's basically why

a mistaken belief of love

(animal death, suicide, blood, flashing)

franken X

(dysphoria, hospitals, blood, eyestrain)

haine kleine

(flashing, alcohol, depression, choking, honestly it looks like onceler x onceler shit I'm not even joking)

eeby deeby (send them to eeby deeby): strelitzia dude

I think he'd fit in

strelitzia

(eye strain, flashing, the mortifying ordeal of living to serve someone wealthier than you, blood, alcohol)

#asks #some of these are connected and others are standalones #n/ilfruits docs are so funny bc doc/torine is like ''everyone makes mistakes and society only values you for what you can produce but somet #imes you have to fix those mistakes'' #and then fr/anken x is like ''my clone is trying to murder me please help oh my god h-*sounds of muffled screams*"

[voughtcorsair]

hi i really like ur blog and u dont have to answer this if u dont wanna im not trying to get u in trouble and i have hyperfixations ik its hard to ignore them but im jewish ik its ww1 not 2 but context of that time considered u dont think all this about the red baron and ww1 germany is maybe not appropriate ?

i understand ppl hyperfixate and love ancient greece ancient rome which were awful societies but like ,,, idk maybe ww1 wasn't really that long ago and considering the context of the time like,,,, i dunno. ly hope ur having a nice day i just had to get this off my chest

uhhh i don't really know a good answer to this and im welcome to further discussion on this but like. i have tried to make my blog as filterable as possible for sensitive content irt that (im very bad at tagging in general so maybe i should tag m.ilitary content as whole additionally?) sorry this got long and took so long to answer. im having trouble with words today. btw i keep re-editing this to be worded better.

for what it's worth the wwi german books ive been posting about r some of the most anti-war literature i can think of, whether in english or german of any other language. i understand the german names + early 20th century period is not perhaps the greatest look but i can pretty confidently point ppl to remarques wikipedia page as an explanation.

re: the red baron None of my posts about him should be substituted for primary sources or be taken seriously unless i specify that it's like. 1000% serious. But for the vast majority of the world hes a guy from peanuts. additionally he is the patron of a wing of the german air force and i think if a military hero such as that is considered ok by them then he generally doesn't hold much like...negative association? i could be totally wrong but from everything ive heard theres not much association of him w anything at all & at the time he was considered an honorable enemy and given full honors at his funeral (by the allied soldiers that shot him down) & doesn't have any really negative connotations outside of kaiserboos or whatever the hell.

a lot of me rbing pix of the imperial german army is trying to understand the experiences of my great-grandfather and my heritage and all that. like i post funny things about sauerkraut or rhineland-westphalia but i grew up eating stuff like that and with stories and idk i suppose if it's bad then it's bad, but this is my justification and context for those sorts of posts at the moment.

there's also a fairly clear line between imperial germany, weimar germany, and nazi germany. im assuming ur also American ? our history classes really tend to skip over the exact specifics of wwi, the politics, how it started, etc (and how it set up for a collapse into wwii) but imperial germany went to one of the most progressive states at the time (see magnus hirschfield) and the nazi party wasnt started until ~1920 and wasnt in power until 1933 (tho the late 20s were kinda 😬) so that's a pretty clear delineation of a decade since the end of wwi.

I also really really don't want to be belittling about anything but there was a pretty significant german jewish presence in wwi. antisemitism wasn't a factor in the war outside of ppls personal prejudices

idk im open to correction and discussion and everything else and this is really messy so for that i apologize. i dont know really what else to do aside from explain my own reasoning on this so thank you for listening

#askz #anon #nazi mention #ps. if u r ok sending some kinda acknowledgement that u read this if u dont intend on discussing further is that ok? just 4 my peace o mind #thank u 💕 and i appreciate u approaching w me with this instead of jumping to conclusions it does mean a lot

[coletteuwu]

helllo hello hellooooooo~

today i have decided to rank my favourite starkid+tbc musicals :)

now please keep in mind that these are based on my opinions & you have every right to agree/disagree, just don't be a dick to anyone and enjoy

(i havent seen ani, starship nor mamd, so these wont be included here)

#10 The Trail To Oregon!

nothing wrong with it, just not my cup of tea

good idea tho

your wagon is on fiREEE is iconic

humour was inconsistent and overall a bit too childish for my taste

boring

#9 Twisted

this is really controversial, but i practically fell asleep while watching it (maybe because i didnt grow up as a disney fan in a post-communist country)

dylan saunders did an amazing job and i love his singing and he kinda was carrying the whole show (yikes)

costume design was on point tho

also "no one remembers achmed" is one of my fave starkid songs

#8 Holy Musical B@man!

i actually dont have any criticism for hmb, because i think its very well executed and jokes are... good... i guess...

a pretty neutral one, bc the songs were kinda mediocre and so was the humour but i really liked joe walker as batman and nick lang as robin

batman has a cool plane

#7 Black Friday

the new style of the lang brothers is very cool and exciting

the plot was very well written, but it felt a bit,,, rushed?

like they were trying to cram tons of information into one play and for that reason i dont really come back to watch it

and at the same time the pace was a little too slow for my liking?

idk it felt a little off

but characters were iconic, acting was 12/10 (especially joey, lauren and dylan)

#6 Solve It Squad

ACTING ON POINT

comedy was well timed and relevant

brosenthal's scene where he plays all the hotel staff just left me like this -> :o

one of joey's best roles

lauren too

#5 AVPSY

the thing is, initially i wanted to put all the avp parts together but that would have been hard to catch so i guess we're doing this

t h e s o n g s (❤️❤️❤️❤️)

AJ delivers such a good lockhart

joey's sidekick is just mwah

the songs are just so fcking good ahh

they got the real luna!

really emotional

the best ending to the trilogy

in the middle i kinda skipped some scenes bc i got a little carried away

but the ending is just so GOOD

everything has an end.... (i cried a lot guys)

jeff's spider was i m m a c u l a t e

both brians & joe walker 😳❤️

i didnt like the scripts for the first 10 seconds but then after that i didnt even notice them

#4 AVPS

one of the best intros in starkid (if we cannot move forward, why shouldn't we move back? gives me chills everytime)

lucius malfoy is so hot and terrifying at the same time idk if im scared or turned on

story was a little inconsistent and i missed quirrell and the lack of brian rosenthal, but thats okay i can settle for a seamus finnigan

JOE WALKER IN A DRESS. THATS IT THATS THE TWEET.

ron is canonically bicurious????

comedy on point

the best soundtracks in starkid, come @ me im not scared to fight

like for real who wrote the music i just wanna hug them and give them every penny i got to work with them

#3 The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

lets get the criticism out of the way first

i see that they tried to write the music in the same theme, but some songs were repetitive and jeff's falsetto screaming kinda got boring

not your seed is not that good of a song

corey got me in the fEELS

joey's homeless man was iconic

first i didnt like paul's acting but it grew on me and now i love it

LET IT OUT IS THE BEST SONG OF THE PLAY. PERIODT.

the best written starkid show :)

comedy was, again, relevant and well timed

overall, i loved the simplicity of the design

prof. hidgens = hips™

#2 AVPM

i may be biased bc of nostalgia and bc it was the first starkid musical i ever saw but idc

not that well written, but its just so damn entertaining

QUIRRELMORT

different as can be is just chef's kiss

the chemistry between brian and joe is so good

I CAME HOME

*soft boi brian in a jail dress with a fist in his mouth*

everything just started from there

red vines

snape <3

STARKID POTTER, MOONSHOES POTTER

a gift that is lauren lopez as malfoy

the funniest starkid show idcidc

i was a huge potterhead growing up and hp is so important to my life -> thats why the avp trilogy means so much to me

#1 Spies Are Forever

i saw it recently and im mad i didnt watch it earlier

joey is so hot with a british accent

the history behind all of the show just makes it so good, 1950-60 was the scariest time to be gay and it portrays everything about living in the shadows of the cold war perfectly

choreo on point (thank you lauren)

mary kate as tatiana is very dangerous for my weak bi heart

good music

VERY WELL WRITTEN (PROPS TO BRIAN, COREY AND JOEY)

i really like spy movies so

the whole ordeal that is baron von nazi played by brian rosenthal, a jew

wizz waffle fries

glitter waka waka

i just really love brian rosenthal

the ending :'((((((

torture tango and one step ahead = thats some good shit

joe walker as deadliest man alive oh boy oh boy let me tell you about how much of a latte hottay he is in saf

i LOVE that tati and curt are in a platonic relationship, it just throws the stereotypes out of the window

the whole scene where joey and curt fight

#starkid #tbc #starkid unpopular opinion #starkids #avpm #avps #tgwdlm #black friday #musicals