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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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solarflare211 · 1 month

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peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:

damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.

jason: what?

damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)

jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??

damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.

jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.

damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.

bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny

#jason todd #jason al ghul #damian wayne #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #bat family #dc comics

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bruciemilf · 1 month

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Damian: Baba. I’ve acquired an enemy at the academy. He’s been ripping my drawings, teasing me about my lineage, and smearing your honor. I understand murder can’t happen. How shall I proceed?

Bruce: [Has a flashback of Thomas driving to his bully’s house, spiked brass knuckles on his hands, petting his head and smiling dangerously, ‘I’ll be right back, chum!’]

Bruce: …I’ll talk to his parents.

Damian: Todd?

Jason: Finally, an excuse to tackle a 10 year old.

#bruce: nO-#damian: then what do you propose we do!!! this beast knows no peace!!!#bruce: we buy his father’s company and make him take an unpaid internship.#damian: father!!! that is…inhuman. I praise you.#bruce wayne #damian wayne #jason todd #dc comics #dc #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batdad #bruce is very protective of his birdies pass it on #batman #text post

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ashoss · 2 months

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little brother duo supremacy

edit: sorry to disappoint yall but this isnt dick or virgil 😭😭 its duke in a nightwing sweater,,,,

#courtesy of incorrect quote generator #u guys i love duke & damian so much #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #the signal #jason todd #red hood #batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #dc fanart #incorrect batfamily quotes #illustration #ash's doodlings #MINOR EDIT I FORGOT TO COLOUR IN PART OF THE PAPER LMAO OOPS

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

#i find it darkly funny that people probably told Jason smoking would kill him #and then he died from smoke inhalation #irony i guess?#incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc comics #dc #dcu #jason todd #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 2 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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elecilaombre · 1 month

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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avensartt · 16 days

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Quote from Scrubs

#its damians pet manatee #batfam #batfamily #dc #art #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #tim drake #bruce wayne #red robin #batman #artists on tumblr

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91-1lover · 1 month

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 1 month

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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yjcorefourenjoyer · 3 months

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AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

#Batman #dick grayson #Jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batkids #batboys #batman au #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam

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batfamilycannons · 2 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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wondersinwaynemanor · 2 months

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Bruce: Jaylad, I need you to be at the Wayne gala this weekend.

Jason: But why me, B? Why not pretty boy, Dickie? I'm sure the ladies miss him.

Bruce: Your brother has a double shift this weekend.

Jason: How about the brat? He needs the socialization.

Bruce: Will be at the Kents' for a sleepover.

Jason: How about -

Bruce: The rest of your siblings will be busy, lad.

Jason: But Bruce, I'll be busy too. And even though I wasn't, I don't want to be around those pretentious fuck - people.

Bruce: Diana will be there.

Jason: Why didn't you start with that? Absolutely! I'll be there, old man. And I'll need a new suit.

--

at the gala

Diana: Aw, you look really handsome, little prince.

Jason blushes and smiles like the little boy who saw Wonder Woman for the first time.

#please jason you're such a fanboy #my mind is back at this again #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect quotes #batfamily #batdad #wondermom #yes this tag #bruce wayne #jason todd #diana prince #batman #wonder woman #wonderbat #dc comics

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

#batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc comics #dc #dcu #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Dick, at Damian soccer game, watching from the sidelines: Wooo! Let’s go Dami!

Random lady: Oh is he your son?

Dick, touched: Oh ha, he’s actually my brother!

*Later*

Dick, hanging out with Tim: Come on we should get ice cream.

Random Guy: Oh out for some father son bonding time?

Dick, grasping at the thought of looking old enough to have a college aged son: w h a t

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #red robin #nightwing #dick grayson #damian wayne #robin #dick: Do I really look that old Timmy?

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