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darkstaranthology · 5 months

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'binary eclipse' was the fifth fic posted for 'dark star - an izch anthology.'

Discussion of dark themes, gender dysphoria and the discussion of the trans experience, date rape, past rape/non-con, mortal/immortal relationships, vampire and werewolf sex, including bloodsucking, torture, and other triggering content below this cut. There will also be spoilers for the fic, if you want to read it for yourself first.

Fic stats:

~40,000 words

5 chapters

E rated (explicit sexual content, mortal/immortal relationships, rape/non-con, torture, blood and gore, horror elements)

Archive Warnings (AO3): Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Urban Fantasy AU (No Quirks/Heroes University, with fantastical elements)

'binary eclipse' is a multichapter fic concerning a modern university AU where trans girl Izumi 'Deku' Midoriya is date raped at a party after already living a tough life to get as far as she is. Struggling with university life already, she spirals after her experience, only to meet 'Yuu Takeyama,' an odd-looking young woman who seems awfully familiar, spinning Izumi's world upside down.

So, it's funny really. Before BNHA, my special interests were generally superheroes (I was really into the MCU, I just wasn't into fandom in the formal sense before the pandemic) and horror films. If someone was at all familiar with my more 'traditional work,' I think this would be very obvious, truth be told. Horror themes appear sporadically in my work, mostly subdued as I try to write for a mostly teen-rated audience in a lot of it, and obviously, I love superheroes. You probably wouldn't think that I do, given how critical I am of superhuman society in BNHA in my work, but that's more just taking the themes to their logical conclusions.

'binary eclipse,' accordingly, was primarily inspired by a few horror-themed fics I read. I got to thinking about izch Little Red Riding Hood, actually, partly because one of the official Halloween costumes Ochako has been assigned in Hori's bonus sketches is as Little Red Riding Hood. Traditionally, Little Red Riding Hood can be interpreted as a rather heteronormative story concerning a predatory, broadly masculine wolf and a defenseless, often very young girl he preys on. Yet famously, in the original story, the Big Bad Wolf crossdresses to try and 'fool' Little Red Riding Hood, to varying degrees of success based on the particular retelling. This in turn got me thinking about gender roles, reinterpretations of themes, and the idea of 'fem!Deku' as a trope.

Now, conceptually, I have no problem with genderbending. I do think it's normally tacky to genderbend gay ships into straight ships. Fandom will crow on and on that 'M/F ships aren't inherently straight,' and that's true, but narrative framing is an important literary idea for a reason. However, I think genderbending a straight ship into a gay ship, as long as you take what that premise implies seriously, is an interesting writing exercise. Hence, 'sapphic izch' is my favorite version of the ship, and I think a lot about the thought experiment of 'what if BNHA was the same, except Deku was a girl?'

Of course, if it was as such, BNHA would've been cancelled after two volumes, and no one would ship izch no matter how bluntly obvious Hori made the romantic undertones, but I digress.

There were a variety of influences on 'binary eclipse.' One big one is an iconic horror film, 'Ginger Snaps,' a Canadian film from 2000. Another was SevenRenny (@sevenrenny) and their fic 'The Root of All the Poison,' which really stuck with me. Really, I'm not here to write a book about horror influences, there was a lot, 'cause I love horror films. Point was, I wanted to make Deku a girl, and I wanted to make her a werewolf. However, as easy as it would've been to make her a cis girl, I think making her trans was the more obvious choice; what are werewolves if not one of the classic pieces of trans iconography, after all?

I think this distinction is important when discussing genderbending. I think there's something fundamentally different and important between a character being trans and a character just now being 'a girl.' I think it's okay to just want to do that second thing, and not all fic has to be 'good representation.' That's fine! But how this topic is handled will greatly affect if a fic is good, at least to me, so I went into this one wanting it to write about the trans experience, especially as it pertains to my own life.

This fic is semi-autobiographical, albeit very blown out of proportion, of course. That's all I'll say about that.

For Ochako, making her a vampire was also an easy choice. It let me riff off of now-classic 'vampires vs. werewolves' iconography, it let me talk about the interesting subtext of Ochako and Toga as a relationship, and it let me make her 'magical' in a distinctly different way. Ochako/Toga is a ship that I used to really adore, and I still like them, but as the manga has progressed the fandom has become quite insufferable about how it postures about Ochako/Toga as another totem for migratory slash fandom to conveniently get female characters out of the way of their ships. I ship Deku/Bakugou, for the record! The fandom all around is merely aggravating, and as both the third act of the manga has descended into absolutely abysmal writing and the fandom has become acutely annoying, I now tend to avoid Ochako/Toga content, unfortunately.

That doesn't mean I don't enjoy writing them, though. It's one of those things where I only really like them if I'm writing them now. There's going to be sort of a gradient of portrayals of Ochako and Toga in 'dark star,' from the antagonistic, abusive relationships they have in 'bound' or 'binary eclipse,' to being friendly and supportive in 'dragon's breath,' to close, complicated friends in some planned upcoming fics, such as 'paths forward' or 'finite incantatem.' There's even one planned fic for 'dark star' that will involve the famous Deku/Ochako/Toga OT3, which will be set in one of the various planned fantasy AUs.

For 'binary eclipse' specifically, I was riffing off of a fairly direct transliteration of canon, except where Toga isn't 'saved.' It's meant to be tragic, where she is an abused person who has in turn embraced the abusive system that hurt her. A common theme in BNHA fandom is the notion that the villains are quasi-revolutionary, but really they just want to watch the world burn in canon. Toga in this fic is a very small-scale version of this, choosing to lash out because of how she was treated, while Ochako bears the brunt of that ire. It's not going to make the world a better place, but it's also sad and miserable, not uplifting, when she dies.

Her backstory is also a homage to 'Bloodborne,' the 2015 video game by FromSoftware, which was another influence on this fic.

There's a lot of complex themes in this fic, largely dealing with both Izumi and Ochako going through a rape recovery narrative together. For Izumi, her experience is raw and fresh, trying to grapple with being a trans girl and now experiencing what is unfortunately one of the more common 'girl' experiences: being date raped at a party. Meanwhile, Ochako is recovering from long-term partner abuse, walking away from her position as Himiko's 'pet' vampire underling, trying to grapple with what she was made to do while effectively in captivity. A lot of the queer themes intermingle with these fantastical elements, which I had fun with.

One sort of incidental element to this fic is that 'soulmates' are real, in the sort of blunt 'fanfic' manner. That is, two people are soulmates, they have specific soulmate 'markings,' etc. In this case, only 'special' people have them, people deemed important by 'Fate.' 'Fate' in the specific 'named character' sense will be a recurring element in these fics, also appearing in 'dragon's breath.' In the case of 'binary eclipse,' soulmates have been no promise of a happy ending, another queer theme in practice.

Bakugou is implicitly dating Kirishima in this fic. It's not made super clear, mostly because from Izumi's limited POV she is unsure what their relationship status is, she just knows the two are sexually engaged in some fashion. I imagined they are somewhere between 'dating' and 'friends with benefits,' although the specifics aren't important. What is important is that Bakugou's soulmate isn't Kirishima, it's Todoroki, a commentary on how certain characters revolve narratively around Deku, and how changes in Deku's narrative would send them all careening out of orbit.

(There's something to be said here, as an aside, about the prevalence of Bakugou/Todoroki in this series. I do sincerely ship Bakugou with both Deku and Todoroki. One of these fics will actually concern Bakugou/Deku/Ochako as a threesome, too, in fact! But Bakugou/Todoroki has progressively become my main ship for Bakugou, both because I like it a lot and because I think it narratively foils izch in really fucking fascinating ways. It makes writing fic about them a breeze. I used to like Bakugou/Kirishima a lot, and I'm ambivalent to them as a background ship now, but I have soured on the relationship largely because the fandom for that ship is... shall we say, intense. Many of them are not very kind to Deku or Ochako as characters, which is the quickest way to make me not like you in BNHA fandom.)

Meanwhile, Izumi and Ochako are soulmates, but Ochako was taken by Toga when Ochako was only fifteen. They were 'meant' to live out a fairy tale high school sweethearts romance, only for Izumi to come out to Ochako as trans later in life, putting them on track for something new. Izumi would have been afraid that Ochako wouldn't accept her, only for Ochako to embrace the change, always steadfastly supportive of her best friend.

Instead, Ochako was taken, Izumi collapsed into a deep depression and came out in high school, and everything is all wrong. Indeed, now it's Ochako who comes to Izumi afraid that Izumi won't accept how she's changed, only for Izumi to be thrilled to have her constant back. In the same vein, Izumi and Bakugou have something on the edge of a queerplatonic relationship in this fic; they're not merely 'friends,' but they aren't romantically inclined, either. They love each other, they're just not in love, and I thought this was beautiful, too.

'binary eclipse' is a very queer fic, or at least, that was my intent. I'm queer, personally, but I've come out as being queer relatively late in life. Some people think this makes my experience invalid, which is a shame. I try very hard to learn the ins and outs of queer culture as I go, and to write about it authentically. Sometimes I worry I don't portray things well, or as others might experience them. I only can speak for myself, of course. But I wanted 'binary eclipse' to be a very queer story, even if it's a bit of a shame that it means that relatively few people have read it.

Then again, it has absolutely terrifying tags, so that's understandable. It's also the first story in 'dark star' concerning transgender experiences, though it certainly won't be the last. There are (as of writing this post) two more fics regarding Deku as a trans girl, two regarding Deku as a trans boy, and one regarding Ochako as a trans girl. Each will approach these ideas in slightly different ways or contexts, but the broad points will rhyme, as you'd probably expect. There will also be at least one fic which concerns cis fem!Deku, though it'll be awhile before that comes back up. Sapphic izch remains my favorite version of the ship as long as it's written well, and I wish more people would write/draw for the concept.

Not to put too fine a point on it, a lot of fandom for izch trends younger and trends very cishet male. I feel like this shouldn't be a controversial statement to anyone who's even vaguely familiar with the fandom. Most of the relevant content is made by women, as with all fandom, but most of the constant crowing on Reddit and Twitter about how 'Deku is straight' comes from bland cishet men who contribute nothing and really don't even 'ship' izch, it's just a rhetorical tool for them. Personally, I mentioned earlier the notion that 'M/F ships aren't inherently straight.' That's true, but I think some people hold up sexuality head canons as a totem to avoid criticism, or to separate themselves from cishet men in fandom.

To be blunt, there's nothing wrong with just thinking that your ship involves two straight people. Fandom has become increasingly and exceedingly cringe about policing sexuality head canons, to its detriment. But if you don't think they're straight, then I think how they're framed is important. I generally have come to enjoy framing izch in broadly queer ways, trying to show versions of them that aren't merely 'a teenage boy and a teenage girl who are high school sweethearts.' There's nothing wrong with enjoying that - obviously, I do, since I fell in love with them - but I like to broaden my horizons, too.

So a lot of 'dark star' will contain heavy queer themes. Some will be set in 'the canon setting,' as it were, such as 'stardust,' 'at liberty,' or 'swallow the sun.' Others will be set in AUs, such as 'back contamination' or 'finite incantatem.' Not all of them will focus on transgender experiences; I would like to do at least a few involving cis fem!Deku, eventaully. I also took a crack at cis male!Ochako, but I feel that trope works much better in art than prose. I may eventually do something that is trans male Ochako, however. We shall see!

In this context, 'binary eclipse' served as an important test fic for me to see how I felt about writing dark queer themes, complicated morality dynamics, and horror elements for a story that I still broadly want to have 'a happy ending.' I'm pretty proud of it. I think the scene of Izumi transforming to fight the Nomu and Toga is one of the better action pieces I've ever written, even.

My overall thoughts are a little more muddled on 'binary eclipse,' not because I'm not proud of it, but rather merely because I just don't remember much of the concept phase of writing it. I wrote it very quickly, over the course of a few days, and most of that stuff has been lost to the ether. I'm happy to answer questions about it, though. It's a fic I wish was more popular, given its queer themes, but alas, what can you do?

If you have thoughts about horror stories, queer themes, or sapphic izch, I'd love to hear about it! So if you enjoyed 'binary eclipse,' please let me know! Or if you didn't, I don't mind hearing why. I hope you have something intelligent to say, rather than boring pro-/anti- discourse stuff or 'your ship is bad,' though. These fics are for adults, and I expect you to engage with them like adults.

Have a nice day.

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