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tobiasdrake · 3 days

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Fun Fact: Goku fights smarter. Vegeta fights harder.

As a martial artist, Goku's developed and cultivated his skills over the course of his life, mastering a variety of creative techniques and, more importantly, honing his mind. A quick-thinking and analytical counter-fighter, Goku prides himself on a creative and clever dismantling of his adversary's capabilities.

This is where Goku excels as a fighter. He's a formidable martial artist in his own right but when pressured, he falls back on a generally high understanding of violence and a creative mind for opening solutions. He reads his opponent's style and abilities, finds its weaknesses, and exploits them.

This, incidentally, is part of what what made Majin Buu such an insurmountable hurdle for him.

Majin Buu is a taffy monster made of magic who defies even this universe's conventional physics. He has no fighting style; He just does things, and his infinitely regenerative body and supreme liquid flexibility leaves no weaknesses to exploit.

He cannot be fought the way Goku fights.

For his own style, Goku has one particular signature technique and a couple other moves he's picked up from others. His mainstay is the Kamehameha. But he's innovated a wide variety of ways in which the Kamehameha can be used, based on the needs of his situation.

Goku's used the technique in a variety of ways, such as using it for propulsion instead of as an attack.

Bending it around the opponent's defense for a surprise attack.

Making stationary torpedos that he can fire at will to startle and disorient his adversary.

The coolest attack in Dragon Ball history YES I SAID IT. Learning to teleport? Cool. Kamehameha? Cool. Teleporting in while charging the Kamehameha in order to throw it directly under your opponent's guard before he even has an instant to react? Top-tier.

Point is, this is who Goku is as a fighter. Brilliant and innovative, bringing a great deal of cleverness and creativity to his fights. He breaks down his opponent's technique and adapts himself to the needs of the situation at hand.

Vegeta is also highly observant and analytical. Do not mistake me for calling him stupid. He makes plans of his own, and his greatest asset is his ability to follow everything happening on the field at once. It is next to impossible to get the drop on this man.

Vegeta pays attention.

Vegeta is always paying attention. He splits his focus incredibly well and quickly interprets what he's seeing and hearing with a critical eye. He misses nothing.

He is. Always. Paying attention. The one time someone actually managed to get the drop on him - and I cannot stress this enough - it was a person Vegeta did not know existed because he had not been a part of this battle up to this point.

Am I saying that Yajirobe's cowardice saved the world by not revealing his presence to Vegeta until this fateful moment? Yes. Yes, I am saying that. We literally have a counter-example from someone Vegeta did know and account for to contrast it with.

Vegeta is always paying attention. Unless he doesn't know you exist.

So. Yeah. Vegeta is incredibly brilliant and observant. But what he's not is a martial artist. Vegeta, instead, is a soldier. He's comfortable in the realm that overwhelming power creates.

Vegeta hits hard.

He hits very hard.

He hits very, very, VERY hard.

In fact, Vegeta hits harder than Goku does. That's not to say that Vegeta is stronger than Goku; Vegeta and Goku go back and forth on who's stronger in the given moment over the course of the series. But Vegeta's attacks are stronger than Goku's.

To understand what that means, you need to understand that certain kinds of ki attacks have a multiplying effects on their user's strength. Attacks such as the Kamehameha or the Makankosappo, which concentrate ki before firing it, produce a much greater level of ki than their user's standard power output.

When charging a Kamehameha, Goku's battle power reading on the Scouter rises dramatically. This is the secret of techniques like the Kamehameha: they concentrate ki into a point before releasing it all at once, like pulling the pin on a grenade.

As concentration moves go, the Kamehameha isn't actually that great. The versatility and creativity that Goku brings to it is what makes it so formidable. Pound for pound, it kinda sucks. Piccolo's Makankosappo here makes the Kamehameha look like noob shit.

This kind of ability is non-standard among ki attacks, which are typically like throwing long-range punches. In fact, it's super-rare among the Planet Trade to be able to do this. Raditz had never even heard of a move like this.

Vegeta had. He knew of exactly one.

I am so sorry to do this to you but we're going to have to talk about battle power numbers here for a moment. Vegeta's clocked at 18,000 BP as of his battle with Goku on Earth; it's brought up a few times in the Namek arc.

Goku, iconically, is OVER 9000 8000!!!

At the moment Vegeta and Goku's attacks meet, Goku is channeling the Kaio-ken x3 which is exactly what it sounds like. He's inflated the ki inside his body to 300% capacity. The drawback is that his body is now an overinflated balloon ready to pop at any moment from all this swelled and bloated ki inside of him. But the gain is that he's outputting 300% power.

At this point in time, Vegeta has a battle power of 18,000. Goku, formerly >8,000 is now >>>24,000. Goku, further, is using the Super Kamehameha rather than the regular one he used against Raditz, which brings with it a higher level of power multiplication.

Nonetheless, the Galick Gun is winning against the Super Kamehameha. Goku is forced to resort to a x4 Kaio-ken - which does leave his body utterly destroyed and incapable of continuing the fight - in order to have enough power to overcome a superior magnification from a weaker opponent.

We see another direct comparison between the two in the Cell arc. That killer Warp Kamehameha fired point-blank into Cell when he least suspects it, which hits him dead-on and unloads its absolute maximum power into him? It does this.

Brutal. If Cell didn't have both Frieza's ability to survive ludicrous levels of harm and Piccolo's regeneration, it would have been over right here. Meanwhile, a glancing blow from Vegeta's Final Flash left him looking like this.

Despite Vegeta being far less powerful than Goku was when he fired that move, the effect is about the same - With implication that if Vegeta hadn't pulled the Final Flash back at the last second to avoid destroying the Earth, he would have erased Cell completely.

Goku's shot hit Cell point-blank and full-on to do about as much damage, albeit with deadlier aim in terms of killing a humanoid being.

This is the distinction between Goku and Vegeta as fighters. Vegeta is very smart, and Goku is very strong. Neither of them is lacking in intelligence or power. But they are philosophically very different fighters.

Pound for pound, Vegeta's moves hit harder than Goku's. He is the unparalleled master in taking the power he has and channeling it into as much destructive force as humanly possible.

On the flipside of that coin, when backed into a corner, Vegeta falls back on outputting as much direct force as he can. Goku gets to thinking his way around the problem at hand and devising a creative answer.

Goku is a surgical scalpel. Vegeta is a warhammer.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #son goku #vegeta

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atsu-i · 1 year

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#okay but am still annoyed at what happened earlier lol #like #ik am not smart lol but when I wasnt really doing anything or talking to anyone but suddenly am called stupid all of a sudden?#that is different lol #i was shook that I was called that when I wasnt even talking to her #I was annoyed at smth else but not to anyone and then that lol #then I got more annoyed coz of that and i told her #does that make you smarter by calling someone stupid?#tsk #she didnt say anything back #and then I still did my work like nth and then she talked to me like nth happened and I did talk like that too #but eh #fuck #its one of those moments that idk if am overreacting or if me being hurt and annoyed by that is even valid lol #idk #it just hit a nerve and am annoyed that i cant get over it #but this was the second time she did call me that and that was really out of nowhere and not necessary imo #I also told her she can tell what she wanted to say w/o saying am stupid and she just said but you are #dang #i just need to let it out coz its really still in my head and in my emotions(?) lol #i wanna snap but nah #NAH #personal #ranting shit

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phas3d · 2 months

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Can you do slytherin boys head canons with ravenclaw reader who info dumps randomly

You're Smart || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

summary :: you have a habit of saying fun facts and explaining everything in great detail while they listen - it's not super ravenclaw based but u can imagine it :) THANK U FOR REQUESTINGG RAAAHHHH <333

DRACO MALFOY

Hated it at first since it felt like you were trying to on up him

Would start to research more topics on his own to make sure you can't one up him on it

Turns this into a competition that's completely one sided for no reason LMAO

Stays up all night up just to learn the most niche and useless information of all time

But somehow, you always know more than him and beat him

Gets so frustrated by this because he can't stand not being the smartest know-it-all in the room

So he decides to try and make YOU seem stupid

Asks you super hard questions that no one could possibly know

But for some reason, you know it

This drives him even crazier cause he can't win LOL

But overtime, he grows to find it really useful and cute at times

He likes to see how passionate you are on different things

And he does like smart girls, so he starts to see it as a pro

TOM RIDDLE

Super annoyed by the fun facts and random info at the start

Mainly because he probably already knows it or he doesn't care for it

Because if he was interested, he would have searched it up already

So in his eyes, it seems like you're call him too lazy and dumb to want to search something up

So he tells you to shut up right away when he knows you're going to info dump

But sometimes, he genuinely doesn't know and he hates admitting that

He's super bad at social interactions, online culture, etc, so he does need help with those

But he's too egotistical to admit that

So he starts to just "ignore you" when you info dump

You'll explain the deep and complicated lore of Trisha Paytas and once you're done he'll say, "Huh? Oh I was spacing out."

But in reality, he was listening in depth and taking mental notes

So he starts to use this to his advantage since you do describe every very well

He starts to silently train you in a way

For example, he'll place a group of items in front of you, like a blue shirt next to a Slytherin hoodie

This will then remind you of Alvin and the Chipmunks so you dive into the deep lore of each actor

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Doesn't really care much at first since he's always been a bit dumber than other kids

He assumed everything you were saying was common knowledge and that he was just dumb

But when others start to mention how smart you are, he's surprised

He has a smart s/o :O

Well, he always knew that but to find out that you were smarter than a majority of people gave him a confidence boost

Starts to rely on you for every single question he has possible

Even if he knows the answer, he just wants to see if he's right

He likes it when you info dump to him

Surprisingly, he's a really good listener when it comes to you

Loves listening to you talk for hours on end

THEODORE NOTT

He's not much of a talker, so having you there to info dump on him is really amusing

You're like a walking podcast for him to listen to

Likes to ask you questions too so you can switch topics

He's super proud of seeing how smart you are

Theo is pretty smart, the smartest out of the Slytherin boy group at least (Which isn't that hard) (Tom doesn't count LOL)

So it's nice for him to finally talk to someone that doesn't ask dumb ass questions every 5 minutes

It's like switching his brain off so he can just listen to you talk and explain

It makes him feel safer with you to know that you're so smart and into so many things

He also loves it because it makes it so easy to buy you a gift since he knows exactly what you like :)

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

You're both kinda in the same boat which is amazing and bad

He's also into info dumping and telling you about the niche history he found out

But so are you, so you two end up clashing and having different ideas

Like for example, you were both info dumping about the brand new live actions Avatar the Last Air Bender and you both had drastically different thoughts

Lorenzo thought a lot of it was inaccurate but you were defending it with your life

But in the end, you both just shut up because you accidentally switch topics mid way

He loves asking you questions about niche topics so he doesn't have to research them himself

Likes listening to you talk while he eats

Sometimes he'll facetime you while he has dinner so he can listen to you talk

And sometimes he even calls you before bed so you can talk him to sleep :)

#harry potter #slytherin boys #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #harry potter x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #harry potter fluff #harry potter headcanon

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hanasnx · 7 months

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i desperately need more thoughts and ideas about baby daddy!anakin bcos why has that never crossed my mind??? that sounds so 😵‍💫

baby daddy!anakin.

MINORS DNI 18+

You aren't married to him, even if he asked you— begged you to. It's not the right move, it's not what you want, and you won't let him bully you into doing "the smart thing" as he calls it. It's partly his fault you got knocked up, and he's acting as if marriage will magically solve it. He's not the kind of person you can share a life with, and you're not comfortable seeing him as often as you have to when you trade off your son to him. He's learned some boundaries, keeping his distance. Unfortunately, you fell for him and all his crazy tendencies. So it was more than difficult for him to sweep them under the rug when you two split. He noted how you responded negatively to when he came over unannounced, saying it was because he missed his son, when that was guise to see you. You responded even worse when he'd barged in after he threatened to break down the door. So he learned that he won't get what he wants when he does them. Even though, at one point, you liked those things about him. You liked that he took what he wanted, and now he has to repress those urges in order to be allowed visitation to his son at all.

Of course, there are things you miss about him. You don't like the idea of teaching anyone how to please you, so the easiest thing is to ask him for his assistance since he's already an expert in the field. After heavy debate, you decide to call him after a bad date. “Hello? Is everything alright?” he demands into the receiver. This untimely hour could only be explained by an emergency, and his first thought is something happened to his son. “Hey.” your response on the other line is a sigh. “Everything’s fine. Can you come over?”

Once the floodgates open, it takes no time at all to unravel each other. He knew he missed you, but he didn’t realize how much until you’re a quivering mess underneath him. Your dress having been hastily ridden up around your waist so he can twist your body to meet his needs, folding your legs up as he leans on you. That fat cock you adore being driven into the deepest parts of you, kissing that spongy spot inside you exactly how you like it. No one can do it like him. As frustrating at it is. You're partly to blame for his infatuation, you can't stay away from him either. Letting him do this to you, fuck you like this, planting those seeds of need within you.

When you and him first split, he couldn't know about the dates. You would avoid tipping him off about them at all costs, anything to evade his potent jealous rage. "You've walked with my child growing inside you. And some stranger thinks he lays claim over you? What about me? Does my hard work mean nothing? Must I do it again?" As if you'd make the same mistake twice, let him breed you for a second time so you're reliant on him again. Or worse, you'd make the same mistake with someone different. Does he think that little of you? You and him were just stupid kids when your son came into the picture. Neither of you knew what you were doing. You're smarter now... aren't you?

Now you use your dates as leverage. Make him angry, make him fuck you harder, make him fuck you like he's never fucked you before. Talk shit about whatever guy you let hit before you called him to "clean up that fucker's mess." and how after this, you'll "kick him out like you always do. but you can't stay away from him long." He'll even degrade himself, "And I'll keep coming back too. You'll do the same damn thing next week, act like you want nothing to do with me. Treat me like a stray. Only to get soft and horny and call me to come give you a fix 'cause you can't do a thing for yourself. You're a fucking addict, you know? I'm tired of it. But I'll keep doing it, because I'm the only one who fucking will. Only one who can handle you, isn't that right?"

When the entrance sounds familiarly, he opens the door to the bedroom. Shirtless, and black pants hanging low on his hips, he leaves you spent in your bed as your son gets inside and realizes who's over. Your son breaks from the babysitter's hand, sprinting towards him. "Dad!" he exclaims. He stoops, catching his son in his arms to scoop him up. "My love," he responds tenderly, cradling the back of his son's head as their cheeks press together. "You're here!" his son notes with awe. You can hear them through the walls, smacking your hand against your forehead. He wasn't supposed to let your son know he was here, the babysitter's early. Fuck, now your son is gonna insist he stay for dinner or something. That's exactly his plan, isn't it? Use your son to get closer to you.

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luvrxbunny · 3 months

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all brawn ─ ★ miguel o’hara x f! reader

a/n: i actually don’t have anything to say but i just feel like i have to have an authors note 💃🏾

wc: 585

warnings: 18+ MNDI, light degradation(?), mentions of sex, himbo-ism

-> miguel who’s all brawn and no brain. like he’s this huge mountain of muscle but he’s just not very bright. so when he meets you he’s like putty in your hands. he’ll do anything you ask. he becomes like your little guard dog, he’s constantly wanting praise and direction from you. he wants to save you from anything that could potential hurt you. he follows you around like a puppy.

✶ he’s very touchy, always draping himself over you and whining when you don’t give him enough attention. eventually he gets fed up with your neglect and just pulls you into the nearest private space.

✶ he’s submissive in the bedroom but not really in the way most would assume. he doesn’t really let you take the lead or anything but he does everything in his power to make sure you cum, that you’re satisfied and as brainless as he is. he’ll listen to any direction you give ofc, but he takes matters into his own hands every time.

-> he knows he’s not too smart too, he constantly asks you for help with things and is always embarrassed. but falls in love as you explain them to him, never making him feel dumb and always using a soft tone with him.

he said something particularly stupid once. he thought bees literally created flowers or something and you called him “your dumb baby” as a joke before explaining but it really turned him on.

✶ sometimes if you’re feeling extra dominant you’ll tease him as he pounds into you. asking him if he can even think anymore. if there’s anything going on in his head. it has him moaning in your ear every time.

✶ he’s good at a few things and is smart in those subjects, cooking being one of them. so he cooks for you all the time, and looses his mind when you praise him over the food. telling him how talented he is, how you could never make a meal this delicious.

✶ he kinda loves how much smarter you are. he likes when people ask him things and he gets to say “let me go ask my girlfriend”

✶ he’s never made any mistake when it comes to you though. he’s very smart in the subject of you.

-> there’s always someone who thinks he’s too dependent on you. they’ll make a comment along the lines of “jeez, let him answer some questions.” or to Miguel they’ll say “are you gonna let her think for you?” and it always upsets him. he has no problems with letting you think or talk for him, he prefers it.. always.

if a heckler catches him in an off day it really gets to him. he starts to feel like he puts too much work and pressure on you by having you do all his thinking for him. so he starts trying to think for himself but just ends up getting upset and the limits of his mental ability.

-> you can always tell when someone has said something to him. he’s more irritable that way, a little snappy. you have to catch him at a prefect time to make it better.

you have to sneak up behind him while he’s cooking and wrap your hands around his waist, telling him how good the food smells and feeling his chest puff up in pride. you keep bombarding him with the compliments and feel his breathing slowly speed up.

once efficiently working him up, you slide your hands into his pants. you touch him softly, teasing so he gets fed up and takes you over the counter or on the counter.

you let him use you to fuck all the thoughts out of his own head.

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deargodhelpmeaaa · 1 month

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A comparison between Berdly and Papyrus.

Papyrus and Berdly both are over the top, emotional, egocentric characters, and have many simularities, but also many differences, and that's what I want to talk about today.

The first is that that Papyrus wants people to love him, but values himself a lot and wants to leave meaningful impacts on the lives of other people. He believes in himself and his abilities despite everything going against him.

Berdly, too wants to be loved, but he does not value himself and tries to act smart because he believes that if people see him as intelligent, they will value him. Without his intelligence, however, there is nothing to value. He does not believe in himself, and even after all the studying he does, he still doesn't even consider himself as intelligent.

That being said, Papyurs also might be putting up a facade. For instance, he will change his opinions on things sometimes to get people to like him more, as seen in this phone call dialogue:

"Papyrus: GRILLBY'S? WE'RE TOO REFINED FOR THAT GREASEHOLE. Undyne: WOAH, if you go, you HAVE to try the cheese fries. Undyne: They're AMAZINGLY bad for you!! Undyne: Oh, sorry, Papyrus, were you saying something? Papyrus: JUST MONOLOGUING ABOUT MY LOVE FOR GREASE!!!"

Which is very much so a symptom of someone who puts up a facade, meaning that if he had been congratulated for something he considered a part of his intelligence, could Papyrus start acting like Berdly?

No. I don't really think he would. Papyrus is sweet. He'd probably be more encouraging of others to get smarter, too. I think he'd help everyone be smart, instead of trying to put himself on top like Berdly does. Like, yeah, he might say like "One of these days you'll be as smart as The Great Papyrus himself!" or some shit. This is because Papyrus opens his heart for everyone. He has faith in everyone, and this facet of his character can be seen in his neutral ending and death.

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Papyrus works hard to be what he is and understands the value of self improvement. He has some genuine talents, too! Berdly works hard, too, but doesn't see himself improving at all. He sees himself as just inherently worse and more forgettable than everyone else, crumbling at the forces working against him.

This is why he gets so excited about Susie, when he's told that he can make mistakes, taking it as that he should be stop trying to be smart all together.

Still, he doesn't value himself, taking her and Lancer's words as that he should reject pretending to be what he's not, and instead be what he thinks he truly is: stupid.

Both characters have an inferiority complex: Papyrus gets less attention than his brother, Sans, and Berdly saw himself as being "forgettable" prior to winning the spelling bee, and also acknowledges that he isn't as smart as he acts like, and that Noelle is "the real smart kid."

Both characters lack friends, and are bad at picking up on social cues.

Both characters get tricked or manipulated (Papyrus by Flowey and Berdly by Queen).

Both are brave.

Papyrus is loved, however the people who love him (Undyne and Sans) coddle him, and he's kind of treated like an idiot. Berdly's situation is kind of the opposite.

Berdly is not loved by anyone, and doesn't really know what it is even like to be loved, and it gets to the point that he mistakes any form of affection for romantic affection. This can be seen in how he assumes Noelle has a crush on him, his random crush on Susie that lasts until the end of the chapter, or how he thinks Kris is hitting on him when you check up on him after the Queen bossfight.

This can be seen most vividly when the major turning point in his life is being congratulated by his peers for winning a spelling bee.

His relationship with Queen seems to parallel his relationship with his yet to be seen mother, as he is ignored, unloved, and seen as annoying. So, of course he has a low self worth, and of course he tries to pretend to be something he's not to get the love he craves, because without his smarts, what is he?

His closest friends are Kris and Noelle. He talks down to Kris constantly, as a means of showing off to them and proving himself as their better. He does care about and enjoy their company, and they seem to like him enough to want to play videogames with him, and are clearly upset by his death. Noelle is not that close to him, but sees the best in him, and while she finds him annoying, she still cares about him.

I also think that their friendship might not last? He actually thinks of a theoretical life without her in the future, stating, with finality:

Berdly also indicates that he really adores Noelle.

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He doesn't just love her because she's his only friend. He doesn't just love her because she's the one helping him with his studies. He just loves her for who she is. He cares about her deeply, but he understands that their friendship won't last forever, or at least he thinks that it won't. Poor thing.

It may be because he has little to no support system that Berdly is a lot less willing to see the best in others, and more apt to try and prove himself as their better, as he does with Kris. Papyrus on the other hand, has a better support system, even if he is coddled (especially by Undyne).

Both characters are able to pick up on when there's something off about someone, but Berdly's course of action, seeing as how he doesn't look for the best in others like Papyrus does, is a bit different. He actually takes a stand against the player when he sees them acting strange.

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The player, who mind you, is controlling one of his only friends.

This being said, Berdly is still NAIIVE AS FUCK. His reasoning for attacking Kris there was because they were hurting Noelle, who he values deeply, and wants to protect. That's one of his goals in chapter 2: protect Noelle. If you were trying to reach out to him, appeal to his interests and prove yourself as worthy of his admiration, yes, of course he'd agree to do any stupid or terrible thing you told him to do. He'd look past your obvious faults in that situation because he's just that desperate to be loved. He is VERY easy to manipulate and we see this in his relationship with Queen.

In the Snowgrave route situation that leads to his possible death, though, he can't look past your faults. They're right on display for him. He doesn't care that this person is someone he thought of as a friend. Someone he knows and adores is in danger, and he's going to do what he can to protect her.

Papyrus is different. He wants to help you. That's his goal. He just sees the best in you, and wants you to change. He reaches out to help you be better. He wants you to be better because he has faith in you! All of this, after seeing that you have already been hurting other people.

So, both are aware you hurt someone, but both approach the situation differently, because both are fundamentally different characters. In both Berdly's death scene and Papyrus's, we see that they want to help their friend: Berdly wants to protect her, Papyrus wants them to change their ways. Berdly doesn't care about you changing your ways at all. He sees you hurt someone he loves, and he acts. Papyrus sees you hurt people he loves (potential friends/ monsterkind) and he acts.

There's a lot else I could talk about here, but I think you get the idea. Feel free to add onto this or correct me on anything I may have gotten wrong ^^

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schizopositivity · 2 years

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how to advocate for schizophrenics and psychotics in every day life:

correct people when they misuse the word "psychotic" (as in if they use it in any other way but a serious disconnect from reality, delusions or hallucinations)

correct people when they use the word "schizophrenic" as an adjective (its not!!! its a severe and persistant mental disorder)

correct people when they call people "crazy" aka "shes been acting crazy lately" (they likely dont actually mean it and this word is thrown around a lot, but as a schizophrenic im asking you to not use this word to describe people since this has been tied to me and my fellow psychotics for ages)

do not assume that a psychotic person is dangerous in any way (psychotic people are more likely to be the victims of abuse than be the abusers)

when talking about mental illness or the mental illness community as a whole consider, does this apply to psychotic and schizophrenic people as well? (if not, youre not talking about the whole community! its that simple)

do not purposley trigger someones paranoia aka telling people that theres someone after them (this is always harmful and potentially life threatening, its not a joke and never was)

dont assume schizophrenia is "just hallucinations and delusions" (its much more than that, it has negative and cognitive symptoms as well, which for some people is much worse than the positive symptoms of hallucinations and delusions)

dont make lobotomy jokes aka "lobotomize me" jokes (these procedures were used to turn schizophrenics into "pets" so that other people could better deal with us, its not a joke)

dont act "crazy" for shock value aka wide eyes, rocking back and fourth, shaking (our mannerisms arent for you to pretend to be crazy with, this is who we actually are, im looking at you rock bands)

dont fear the people on the street talking to themselves aka calling the cops on them (these people are suffering, these people need help, them being psychotic doesnt make them any more dangerous than anybody else)

dont use the word delusional for every idea you dont agree with aka "that conservative politician is delusional!" (delusions specifically describe strongly held beliefs outside of reality, not just beliefs outside youre specific world view)

dont expect people to express emotions the same way you do aka "why arent you reacting?" (many schizophrenics stuggle with flat affect and cant change it, it doesnt mean we dont feel things, just that we dont express them the same way)

dont expect us to be able to do the same amount of, or intensity of work you do aka "i work 5 days a week, you have it easy!" (executive disfunction is very common in schizophrenia, it doesnt make us lazy, we are just disabled)

dont post derealization without tagging it or TWing it as such aka that post with a fake european country saying that americans dont even know what country this is (we already struggle enough with figuring out whats real and whats not we dont need "pranks" or "jokes" trying to fool us without any TW)

dont assume schizophrenic and psychotic people cant see your post or view your media or anything else (we are real people interacting with the world just like everybody else, we can see your jokes about us, or your media portraying us as dangerous, we arent fictional characters)

dont assume youre superior to, or smarter than us (once again we are real people, we deserve the same respect as anyone else on the planet)

dont call someones delusion stupid aka "obviously youre not the reincarnation of kurt cobain thats stupid" (you have no idea how real these are for us, they dont always make sense to you but they do to us, please respect that)

dont ask if were hallucinating right now (its none of youre business! and if we say yes youll likely ask where it is, and if we show you youll likely look in the direction of the hallucination which is dangerous, it blends the real world with the hallucination and its already hard enough for us to tell the difference)

dont stop trusting us and what we say just because were psychotic (we still deserve to be listened to and trusted just like everybody else)

learn about less talked about symotoms like catatonia, avolition and word salad (these are just as common as the talked about ones, but just less talked about cause i guess it doesnt make for an intresting horror movie)

learn more about schizophrenia and psychosis from actual schizophrenics and psychotics (a great example is the podcast Inside Schizophrenia, scrolling through this blog, looking up students with psychosis)

TLDR: no go back and read it, its the least you could do

#schizophrenia #psychosis #schizophrenic #nd #mental illness #neurodivergent #actuallyschizophrenic #pseriouslypsychotic #mental health awareness #mental health #sanism #ableism #tw delusions #schizo #schizo spec #crazy #advocacy

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anxiouspineapple99 · 10 months

Text

Himbo Noodle Soup for the Soul

Pairing: squint and you can see potential hints of 501st x f!reader; - aka if someone wanted to make it smutty they def could. 🩷 …I’d totally read that too

Summary: Your sleazy boyfriend cheats on you and dumps you. But your favorite 501st himbos are coming to the rescue!

HELP IS ON THE WAY DEAR! HELP IS ON THE WAY!

But the boys can’t agree on a gift. So they all get you something different!

Warnings: FLUFF. It’s all fluff. Don’t come for me. I will not be accepting dental bills for tooth rot thx 😜Some talk of sexual transmitted infections, self loathing, self depreciation

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: This fic absolutely DOES NOT take itself seriously lol. I honestly had no idea it would garner the support it has and frankly I had fun writing it. I love sappy fluff. It fuels my soul. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

This fic was inspired by THIS post! 🩷💖

How could that sleemo do this? Not only did he cheat on you but then he broke up with you via hologram while you were working. A hologram, mind you, that said you should get tested for some STI he picked up from the slag he cheated with. You launched the handheld holoprojector across the supply closet, rage and heartbreak simultaneously fighting for dominance within your stomach. You had an implant that prevented pregnancy and diseases but that inconsiderate, two-timing, laserbrained, e chu ta didn’t know that. How could you be so stupid? You thought he was going to propose. You told everyone as much. This was humiliating. They’ll never let you live this down. They are still taking the piss out of Jesse for that girl from 79s. Obviously you were the problem. He wouldn’t have cheated if you were prettier, smarter, funnier…was it that weird sex thing he wanted to do that you weren’t comfortable with? Bet she did that with him. She was everything you weren’t apparently.

***********

You’d been skulking around the medbay for days now and the boys of the 501st had noticed. Kix realized your usual bubbly greetings you had for him when he entered the medbay had been replaced with a blank stare. You’d been distracted and making mistakes, very unlike you. Fives and Jesse saw the dark circles carved under your puffy red eyes as they passed you in the hallways. You’d stopped laughing at Hardcase’s jokes, now only staring off or giving a halfhearted hum in response. Tup and Dogma found you crying in a supply closet. When you finally stopped joining them for meals in the mess, they decided they needed answers.

“Did we do something? She won’t even look at us,” Fives moved his food back and forth sadly. “Yesterday Dogma and I accidentally bumped into her and she immediately turned and ran crying in the opposite direction. We didn’t even get to apologize,” Tup mumbled as Dogma rested his chin in his hand.

“She doesn’t even laugh at my jokes anymore,” Hardcase whined as he poked the pathetic excuse for breakfast on his tray.

“If you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, she’s been practically catatonic in the medbay for the last week,” Kix hummed as he and Jesse squeezed in at the table with their brothers.

Rex, who had been silently listening as he worked on reports spoke up, “Her sleemo boyfriend cheated on her and then dumped her over hologram. And told her she needed to get tested for an STI.”

“Kriff…” Fives and Tup mumbled in unison wide eyed in disbelief.

“Hold on, the same guy who called us her…what was it…her ‘work himbos’?” Tup scrunched his nose irritably.

“Maker, what a shabuir. I always thought she deserved better, but this is a whole new low. He can say what he wants about us, I’ll be a work himbo. But he hurt our girl,” Fives growled as he clenched his fist around his fork.

Hardcase slammed his fist on the table, “Where is he? I’ll personally pay him a visit! I’ll show him what this himbo can do!”

“How did you find that out,” Kix leaned into Rex, “I work with her directly and she never confided any of that with me. Last thing she told me she thought he was going to propose.”

“I pulled rank. Told her I was worried about her. She crumbled into a blubbering mess and dumped it all on me and General Skywalker,” Rex shrugged and took a large swig of his caf.

“Cap! Permission to hunt the nerf herder down and put the fear of the 501st in ‘im!” Hardcase was already on his feet. He was itching for a fight and he was ready to show that worthless womprat that no one messed with one of his own.

“Stand down, Hardcase. I don’t need you getting locked up for some scummy nat-born,” Rex sighed, “Besides I may have already offered to put the fear of the Force in him with an unexpected visit and she was adamant that I let it go.”

“Well what can we do? We should help cheer her up,” Tup mused, swirling his cup of caf mindlessly. “Women like Hyellian musical noodles, right? Maybe we can do something with that?” Hardcase mumbled between chewing mouthfuls of food.

“Hardcase that’s the stupidest idea-” Jesse began but Fives interjected holding up his hand, “No. No, he has a point.”

Jesse whipped his head toward Fives, “What point? Fives, no!”

“Fives, yes!” Fives jumped to his feet with chaos twinkling in his eyes.

“Hardcase, yes!” Hardcase followed suit with unbridled elation scrawled into his expression.

“Shut up!” Resounded a synchronized admonishment from Jesse and Kix.

“Jesse is right, ‘Sorry your boyfriend cheated on you and might have given you some weird disease, here are some noodles?’ That is stupid. Women like flowers. She always complained that sleemo never bought her flowers anyway. Flowers say ‘He was a creep but you have us. And we buy your favorite flowers, unlike that walking STI.”

“Flowers? Boring and cliche, much like you my beloved vod.” Fives slung an affectionate arm around Kix who immediately shoved him off with a gruff, “Kriff off Fives. Not boring. Considerate. It shows that I listen to her. And women like being listened to more than Hardcase’s noodles, di’kut.”

“Nah, we should get wine. She loves wine,” Jesse kicked his feet up on the table eliciting a glare from Rex. “Remember a while back when I got totally wasted at 79s and she took me back to her place and took care of me? Once I’d thrown up everything in my stomach and then some, we got to talking and she told me about her favorite wines.”

“Jesse. Boots. Table.”

“Sorry, Captain.”

“Fine. She can drink the wine with the noodles we are getting her, right boys?” Hardcase was not giving up on the idea of noodles no matter what his brothers said. He knew the way to your heart was through your stomach.

“Wait. Isn’t this fraternizing? That’s completely against regulations!” Dogma pressed. A collective groan peppered with “Kriffing Dogma” and “You just had to say something” erupted from the table as all the men turned to look at Rex.

“I already got her something, so you won’t be hearing a word from me,” Rex never looked up from the reports he was poring over.

“Great! That’s settled then, wait… What did you get her, sir?” Fives narrowed his eyes at Rex and drummed his fingers on the table. “Now I can’t tell you that. It would take all the fun out of me watching you all fumble over each other trying to figure out what to get our sweet girl,” a mischievous smile crossed Rex’s lips as he stood up. “But I’ll be giving it to her tomorrow at 1700 hours. So you lot better get a move on. Good luck, gentlemen!” The boys heard Rex chuckling to himself as he walked away. “Good luck, indeed.” Fives’ eyes remained fixed on Rex until he was out of sight.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to let his CO best him at this, “We meet at her apartment tomorrow at 1700 sharp. We’ll see who the best gift giver is then!” After another round of bickering over who was going to find the best gift, the group dispersed. Fives and Tup opted to work with Hardcase, pooling their credits to buy the expensive noodles. Kix, Jesse, and Dogma opted to select their gifts independently.

**********

You were wrist deep in your second tub of ice cream of the evening as you binged holodramas and wallowed in your own self pity on your sofa when someone knocked on the door. You swore under your breath and wrapped your blanket tightly around you as you shuffled to answer.

The door slid open and there were your 501st lads bickering and shoving each other, each one toting an armful of gifts. They froze wide eyed and grinned sheepishly.

“Hey mesh’la! We are here to brighten your spirits!” Fives beamed proudly with an extraordinarily large takeout container and some flowers he had clearly picked from one of the garden boxes outside your apartment building in his hands. You were speechless looking from face to face positively bewildered. Suddenly you were self conscious about what a mess you were, eyes red and puffy, nose runny, hair untamed, potentially chocolate ice cream on your face and you were wearing someone’s blacks, though you couldn’t recall whose. “Hey! I was wondering where those blacks went!” Jesse chortled, “they look better on you cyar’ika.” Okay so they were Jesse’s.

“Boys, w-what is this?” You hugged yourself, an unconscious self soothing habit you’d acquired.

“We heard what happened. With uh…I guess he’s your ex now. We wanted to help you feel better,” Hardcase joyfully ripped the takeout box from Fives’ hands and thrust it toward you. “The noodles were my idea mesh’la! I heard the ladies love Hyellian musical noodles from that restaurant near the Senate! So we had to get you those! Fives, Tup, and I went in on them together for you! Also I got your favorite cookies.” His brilliant smile shining from his eyes even more brightly than his lips as he proudly placed the small bag on the takeout box. For the first time in a week your smile met your eyes, “Hardcase you’re too sweet! I do love noodles and I’ve been meaning to try these for a while now.” Hardcase gave Kix a playful shove, “Told you so, vod!”

Kix rolled his eyes before he held out an exquisite bouquet to you. “Kix, these are…these are my favorite flowers.” His warm smile met his shining amber eyes with a radiance that was unsurpassed even by the twin suns of Tatooine, “Yes, mesh’la. You mentioned once you’d always wanted flowers and that piece of bantha poodoo refused to buy them. But you’re worth all the flowers in the galaxy.”

You sniffed back tears as Jesse stepped toward you with your favorite wine, “Jesse how did you know…” He winked and gave his most charming smile, “You told me that night I stayed here. You know, the one where I got so smashed at 79s and you had to take care of me?” Your eyes widened, “You remembered that?” His only response was a soft kiss to your hand.

Tup leaned around him and handed you a small box the string it was tied with was intricately hand braided. “Tup this looks like the string bracelet I made you,” you tenderly toyed with it, smiling as the soft fibers tickled your fingertips. “I remembered when you showed me how to do it. You said you’d tried to teach that cockalorum once but he told you it was silly. Now we match. I always have mine with me. And those,” he gently tapped the box, “are just some of your favorite candy.”

Dogma shyly slipped you a folded sheet of flimsi. You placed the boxes, flowers, and wine on your end table by the door so you could unfold it. You gasped when you found it was a beautiful sketch of a beach sunset. Dogma flushed as he cleared his throat, “You said once you want to move to a planet with a quiet beach. I just,” his shy smile was one of the most endearing attributes and you loved seeing it now, “I hope this will suffice until you can do that.” “Dogma, it’s exquisite! You drew this? I can’t even imagine how much work this was.” You reached out and squeezed his hand, “I…you went through all that effort just for me?” He shrugged, squeezing you back before bashfully stepping aside.

Fives swaggered up, elbowing past his brothers holding out a messily wrapped package and the freshly plucked flowers. You couldn’t fight the urge to giggle at the sight, “Fives, are these the flowers from the planters outside? This one still has its roots attached.”

“Ahhh maybe? Just open the gift.” Your breath hitched in your throat at the holophoto inside. It was from the most recent deployment, in the medbay on the Resolute; Tup was in the hospital bed, still smiling regardless of his head being freshly wrapped from an injury. Kix was stoically fighting a smile in typical fashion. Hardcase donned his signature beaming grin as he flashed a thumbs up. Dogma was seated next to the bed and there you were. You were atop Fives’ shoulders as Jesse stood next to him, their faces pressed to your thighs. It was a moment you’d wanted to commit to memory forever. A brief glimpse of joy in a seemingly endless war. “These di’kut think I don’t listen, but I do. You were so happy there. I heard you say you wished you could stay like that with us forever. Now you can.” His honeyed voice dropped to a whisper, “You’re special to all of us, sweetheart.” The soft kiss he placed on your nose, a wordless promise that you’d always have a place with them.

Rex, who had been quietly observing, finally stepped through the huddled mass of clones crowded around you. He handed you a small box with a handwritten note. He placed his elbow against your door frame and propped his head on his fist, his gaze soft and affectionate as you read it.

Something to keep with you to remember how loved you are.

Always, Rex.

PS your work himbos never liked him anyway.

You opened the tiny box to see a pair of delicate earrings with little gems that were 501st blue. “Rex, these are incredible. But…these are…I mean. This is so much. I really don’t deserve these. Or any of this really,” your voice was soft, shaking in disbelief at your current situation.

“No? I’d disagree, cyare. In fact every single trooper standing here would disagree with that, wouldn’t you boys?” A chorus of “That’s right, Cap!” and “He’s right cyar’ika!” echoed through the empty hallway. “Besides,” Rex continued, “the ones you’re wearing now are from that scrawny little tit. Correct?” Your nod was barely visible as you stared in awe at the troopers before you. He reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. “Thought I’d replace those unsightly things with something that reminds you of the real men in your life who actually care about you every time you look in the mirror.”

Your lip trembled looking at the overwhelming display of love you’d received from the boys. Your boys. It was then the dam broke and you could no longer hold back the tsunami of emotions and tears that had been pounding at you all week. “I…you…thank…” you couldn’t form words between the heavy hiccuping sobs. Rex moved in for an embrace. It felt as safe and warm as it had when you’d first confided in him. You pulled back and wiped your face on your sleeve. You inhaled deeply and though your breath was shaking still you were smiling when you looked at the anxious faces quietly watching you, “I can’t possibly eat all of these noodles AND the takeout I already ordered. You boys get in here and we can watch a holofilm while we dig into all the food.”

**********

You and your boys piled on and in front of your sofa until it was just a mess of limbs and laughter and poking and teasing. Once settled you had every trooper touching you in some form, even if it was just a hand resting on your arm, or leg. Rex claimed the spot to your right, his arm lazily resting along the back of the sofa. Kix squeezed in on your left, hands immediately beginning a soothing dance through your hair. Jesse squeezed in behind you, insisting on sharing the middle cushion with you. He positioned you snugly between his thighs. You stopped wiggling when he began drawing soft lazy shapes along your arms, shoulders, and neck with the pads of his fingers, gooseflesh prickled over you followed by a shiver running down your spine. Hardcase and Tup rested their elbows on your thighs and stroked the insides of your legs while ignoring Jesse’s protests of not wanting them hanging on him too. Fives scooted up to you as he sat on the floor, lifting your knees over his shoulders and resting his back against the couch. Dogma laid on the floor, head resting on a pillow between Tup and Fives. His hand reached behind him absently massaging your leg.

For the first time in a week you felt better. You felt loved. You were home. The food, wine, and holofilms lasted late into the night and one by one the clones who’d come to cheer you up had fallen asleep on and near you. Armor had been piled everywhere in your tiny apartment. The flowers were in vases and Dogma’s sketch was already framed. And when you made to switch out your earrings, Rex insisted on doing it for you. You reiterated you could do it, but he was so persistent you let him. “Much better,” he had crooned giving you a tender tap on the chin when he’d finished and chucked the old pair in the garbage.

Hardcase’s snoring was cutting through the silence like the Z-6 rotary blaster cannon he loved to use. Your legs had fallen asleep but you were unwilling to move and disturb any of them. Kix and Rex had made themselves comfortable on your lap, their feet kicked up on the arms of the sofa. Jesse shifted, wrapping his arms around you with a tender squeeze and a mumble that sounded a little like “darling little cyar’ika.” You nuzzled closer and allowed the warmth of their bodies affectionately piled around you to lull you to sleep.

Turns out that loser dumping you was the best thing to have ever happened to you because now you could have as many evenings like this as you wanted. You definitely could get used to himbo slumber parties.

Tag list babes 💕(plus everyone who was interested in this): @dystopicjumpsuit @deejadabbles @sunshinesdaydream @starrylothcat @wings-and-beskar @littlemissmanga

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koiir · 9 months

Text

⸻ Talk that Talk! ⸻

Drabbles based on lyrics from twices “talk that talk”

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Pairings; Scaramouche, heizou, Alhaitham x gn!reader

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Genre/content; fluff, angst + comfort on Alhaithams, not proofread

“A to Z, you are quite sweet But I wanna skip the more important thing”

He hates this, Scaramouche hates it so much how you can’t seem to take a hint as he has tried to get you to notice these small things. You say you aren’t oblivious, but he begs to differ. How do you not notice it? Notice the way he treats you unlike he does with others?

He feels like his head is about to explode as he watches you chat away with another classmate. Stupid. You’re so stupid for not noticing the glances your classmate is giving you…you really are oblivious.

He’s trying to not make it obvious, yet he friends notice the way he eyes daggers at the classmate. They can only snicker seeing Scaramouche so worked up after only calling you a “friend” and nothing more. But they all know his true feelings, they just wonder if he will do anything.

They believe the indigo haired will just watch, yet his next movements leave them to raise an eyebrow.

He can’t deal with this, Scaramouche thinks to himself. He can’t let that classmate of yours who clearly is into you take what he has been longing for. The male makes his way up to you, completely dismissing the classmate.

“Scara?” He feels his heart beating and wants to smirk at the classmate at how easily he has gotten your attention, your eyes now glued on Scaramouche.

“Cmon, i gotta show you something.” He doesn’t even bother to wait for your response before grabbing your wrist. This is new, Scaramouche has never dared to make physical contact like this before. Maybe it’s a part of him that is possessive and wants to make it obvious. Especially to that classmate.

Here’s his chance, Scaramouche can finally get to the finish line of this. To the important part. With you two out of the classroom, the halls are empty as he stands in front of you. He keeps quiet but he knows you have your questions, he blushed looking away from you.

“I like you.”

He sees the way your eyes widen as your mouth is now agape, clearly not having this in mind. You didn’t expect a confession, much less for Scaramouche. He liked you?

“W-what?” You seem to be in a trance as you stare at him, but it’s anything but that as your mind races with thoughts. How? Why? You start to think back about your time being friends with Scaramouche and seeing if you could find any evidence of these feelings.

“Gosh [name] you’re so…stupid. You seriously didn’t know that I liked you?” “No! Absolutely not!”

He sighs out, but he grins as he sees you getting so worked up about not knowing this…and how he keeps insulting you for not realizing it.

“You actually like me?” He knows you have slight doubts, not expecting someone like him to have these types of feelings since he’s also so…. Himself.

“I’m not gonna say it twice, I actually like you idiot.” He wishes you could have been smarter…but it doesn’t change the fact that his heart beats for you and only you. Scaramouche doesn’t know why but he’s feeling rather bold, he pulls you in for a hug. You didn’t expect this….you didn’t even think he would have done something like this.

Baby, you know the answer, yes or yes / Don’t wanna waste time with the push-and-pull

It’s not exactly push and pull, most likely one sided with how heizou try’s to woo you. How long has it been since he’s…been like this for you? Ah, doesn’t really matter—cause it’s clear as day that heizou will never give up.

It feels like a lifetime with him working by your side, he almost views you as a beacon of hope whenever he has you on the same case as him. Yet he can’t deny that you are definitely the better the detective, yet maybe not with this…cause it seems you don’t bat an eye at his tactics as you wave him goodbye. Your grin making his face light up as he only wants more of this.

“Man alive… won’t you ever let that attitude go [name]?” You have your back turned away from heizou, as you roll your eyes. He actually asked you out…yet he played it off as a “catch up day” since you two have been so caught up in work. But with the way he wrapped an arm around you, it was obvious heizou wanted a date. From you.

“No, I probably won’t ever…” you want to say more, but you can’t voice out what you’re thinking in this moment. You don’t exactly know what to feel as you want to shut him down, but you know that isn’t what you truly want. You’re never doubt your thoughts or feelings, so why now?

“Won’t you say anything [name]? Don’t leave me hanging!” Heizou seems to resemble a lost puppy as he looks at you wishing for you to turn around. You know you should, maybe that would help give you your answer. You turn to see him and see the glint in his eyes, you feel your heart pound seeing him like this.

“I… i don’t know.” “What do you mean you don’t know?!”

He’s a little surprised at your answer, since he thought you would give an actual answer instead of an “I don’t know.” He feels a new idea pop into his mind, one that is bound to make you say yes.

“Well….” Heizou backs away from you, at teasing grin making a way onto his face. “You have two choices…” why is he making this so suspenseful? You feel yourself start to become more nervous, but not in that bad way—almost as if you’re awaiting for his next words as you become more giddy. But of course you don’t show it.

“Yes…or yes?” Huh? Oh. He’s asking about the date…you have two choices…yes or yes….

It was such a cliché thing for him to say, not giving you a choice to say “no.” Maybe that’s what you needed, cause you felt like you had the answer you needed. Definitely not because you didn’t want to admit you wanted to go on a date with him…

“So that’s your move heizou?” You now share a grin as you let your facade wash away as you start to feel true to yourself.

“Well to answer your question….yes.” You see the way his grin grows larger yet more pure as he feels himself filled with joy by your answer. It seems his tactic worked as you gave him the choice he had been wanting for so long.

Talk that talk, just one word / Talk that talk, l-o-v-e

He doesn’t know what to do, Alhaitham try’s to think of what to with this situation. It started with you two enjoying the company of the other, it felt almost perfect. To good to be true. And when those three words fell out of your lips, he felt himself become blank. Everything stopping as he took in what you had told him.

“I love you.”

Now as he sits with the emptiness of the library, Alhaitham wonders why the hell he kept quiet. How he had a battle of doubt with his feelings, he just needed the time to think about this. It’s not because it was early to say those words, but he thought if he should say it back. Is he capable of your love?

He feels stupid, so stupid for not talking it out with you. Cause now he has left you to avoid him and he knows he only has himself to blame. Alhaitham knows the answer, he wishes he could have known this earlier. When you spilled your heart to him.

It feels like time has gone slower, he doesn’t bat an eye at anyone as he thinks of the way back to you. And thankfully he is able to find you, your back facing him as alhaitham watches the way your gaze is fixated on the clear view of flowers.

He feels his stiff body now become more relaxed seeing you so peaceful, but h his heart breaks as he watches you notice his presence. It’s evident your hurt as you see him, and Alhaitham wants nothing but to fix that.

You stay still as he walks closer, he just hopes you don’t shut him down.

“Why are you here? Aren’t you busy?” He would expect you to be irritated, but your tone is soft. It’s almost as if you’re nervous to see him especially after what happened.

“I love you [name] and I’m sorry I couldn’t say it when you told me.” He feels like he should say more, he had almost all day to figure out the right words, yet love is difficult. Especially when trying to find the right words.

He knows you find peace whenever he holds you, so he hopes it can help you understand how he truly feels. As he pulls you in for the hug he hears you mumble. You mumble about how you’re sorry, and how you should have waited.

“Don’t say that, you should never hide how you feel. I was stupid for not telling you that I felt the same, I…I just was shocked that you loved me.”

Alhaitham almost felt doubt when he heard you tell him those words, why would you love him? But he should have know that you were honest, you always had done everything for him. Yet he didn’t believe you in that moment, and that is what hurts him most.

You don’t say anything as you feel his heartbeat against you, you have a natural instinct to hold him closer. You know how Alhaitham would get, and you knew he would do anything in his power to replace your pain with joy.

“…i love you okay?” You want to make sure he knows this, because you never want him to doubt your love for him.

“Please remember that.”

And he will. Alhaitham makes that promise to you and himself to always trust your word, because he knows you wouldn’t ever lie to him about.

A/n; wish I added more characters but I wanted to get something done so might do a part two…

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vodika-vibes · 4 months

Note

Those inexperienced smut prompts make me feral 👀 How about #18, “I can’t wait to take your innocence," with Jesse and a shy/nervous female reader? Maybe something sweet, but also deliciously feral??? Pleaseeeeeeeeeee

First

Summary: You have a confession to make to Jesse, and it's making you very nervous.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader

Word Count: 1692

Warnings: Uh Spicy almost smut, but no actual smut

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I had an idea, but I couldn't make the smut work, so I might make a sequel to this one with the actual smut. I'm so tired, I can't stop yawning.

For someone so anxious all the time, especially around strangers, Jesse has always been surprisingly easy for you to talk to, and to spend time with.

And sure, there were times when you were sure that he was only spending time with you out of a dare or because he had nothing better to do, or no one else has shown an interest in him, but at the same time, you’ve seen some of the people who flirt with Jesse.

People who are prettier, or smarter, or more confident, and Jesse always, always, firmly turns them down, and then turns his gaze back to you. Often with a kiss, or a tight hug, or some combination of the both.

It’s weird, and flattering, but mostly weird.

You’re not used to being anyone’s first choice. Let alone someone who’s as handsome and amazing as Jesse.

And yet, everytime he returns from a deployment, you’re his first visit.

And so, with time, you’ve relaxed around him. You no longer think that he’s going to ditch you the first time someone more gives him a look.

Which brings you to today.

Today you and Jesse were supposed to go out for dinner and a movie, but the movie was canceled, and so you canceled your reservations, deciding that you want to spend time with Jesse in private rather than out in public, and he hadn’t minded, when you sent him a message to inform him several hours earlier.

Of course, then he had to turn his comm off for training, so you haven’t heard anything from him since.

And, honestly, you’re a little nervous. Because you need to tell Jesse something. Something that he’s probably already guessed, since he knows you, but you know you still need to tell him. And you’re worried that telling him will make him treat you differently.

After all, you know that some men can be…funny…about finding out that their girlfriend is still a virgin.

You don’t really expect it to be a problem, but it still might be, and it’s that might that’s making you so nervous right now. Because you honestly don’t know what you’re going to do if Jesse does have a problem with it.

Anxiously, you gnaw on your lower lip, even as you try and focus on the stew that you’ve been slowly cooking for the majority of the day. Honestly, Jesse just needs to hurry up and get here so you can get out of your own head.

Half an hour later, you hear your front door slide open, “Babe?” Jesse calls from the hallway, once he lets the door slide shut, “I’m home!”

His never fails to settle your nerves, and a small smile crosses your face as you cover the stew, and you poke your head into the hallway to watch him strip his armor off. “How was your day?” You ask as a greeting.

“Ugh. Rex had us running drills all day because of something stupid a shiny did,” Jesse complains, “I thought I was going to have to crawl home. Luckily, Rex showed some mercy.”

“Oh?”

“His lady came for a visit and he was much calmer when she left.” Jesse replies with a grin as he finishes setting his armor on the shelf, “I could have cried.”

“Ooh, dragon whisperer.” You joke with an easy smile, and Jesse laughs, pulling a proper grin to your lips.

He turns to you then and sweeps you into his arms, pulling a startled squeal from you as he lifts you and spins you around, before he sets you back on your feet and bumps his forehead against yours, a wide grin on his handsome face, “Missed you, cyare.”

“You always say that.”

“It’s always true.” Jesse ducks his head to catch your lips in a chaste kiss, which slowly becomes more heated the longer it lasts. And the more heated the kiss becomes the tighter his grip becomes, until he’s all but clutching you to his body.

You’re the one who breaks the kiss, suddenly remembering that you have food on the stove, and Jesse releases a strangled noise as you squirm out of his grip and hurry back into the kitchen.

He follows you into the kitchen, though, and leans against the wall as you check the stew. “It smells amazing, cyare.” He says, his voice a little rougher than usual.

“I know you were really looking forward to the restaurant-”

“I was looking forward to spending time with you,” Jesse corrects, “I don’t really care where we spend it.”

You turn the heat down, so that the food won’t burn, and then you spin to look at him. You nervously play with the hem of your shirt, and your face is slightly pink, “Uhm…I need to tell you something!”

Jesse glances at your nervous hands, and then your pink face, and he smiles slowly. “Come here, babe.” As soon as you’re close enough, he tugs you into his arms, and lightly presses his forehead against yours again, “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I know. But this is…embarrassing.” You reply sheepishly.

“Hm…well, I promise not to laugh or judge you. No matter how embarrassing it might be.” Jesse says with an easy smile.

“Um…okay.” Your face burns a little hotter and you realize that there’s no way you’re going to be able to say what you need to say with him looking you in the eyes. So you shift and press your face against his neck, pulling an amused chuckle from his lips.

“That embarrassing, huh?”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. I know you’re shy.” Jesse smooths his hand down your back.

“Um…I want…need…to tell that I’m…I’ve never…” You stumble over your words, and then you heave out a sigh of frustration. It shouldn’t be so hard to say this.

Jesse presses his head against the top of yours, “It’s okay, sweetling. Take your time.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, “I’m still a virgin,” You blurt out, very quickly. And then you press your face firmly against his neck and nervously wait for his response.

Jesse doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then you feel his hand so soft, and so gentle against the back of your head, “Cyare. Sweetling. Will you look at me? Please?”

You really don’t want to, but this is Jesse, so you slowly pull away to look up at him, your face still burning with embarrassment.

He’s smiling at you, there’s no judgment in his gaze, “My beautiful, wonderful, amazing girl.” Jesse coos, as he reaches up and caresses your cheek, “I guessed that you were, and it doesn’t bother me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“...it-it doesn’t?”

“Of course not.” He ducks his head and presses a feather light kiss against your cheek, and then drags his lips to your jaw, “I’m willing to wait until you’re ready for me, sweetheart. No matter how long that might take.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, “Um…so…I was actually…” You hesitate and trail off.

“Go on, baby.”

“I want-”

Jesse’s gaze locks with yours, and something eager slides through his eyes, “You want-?” He prods, gently.

For a moment you avert your gaze, and you take a deep breath to steel yourself, and then you look back at him, “You.” You whisper up to him.

You’re barely able to get the word out before his lips are against yours, the kiss immediately more heated than any previous kiss. “I can’t wait to take your innocence.” He murmurs against your lips. Your nose scrunches slightly, and he laughs, “Too much?”

“You’re not taking anything,” You mumble as your hands slide just under the hem of his shirt, “I’m giving it to you.”

Jesse grins at you, “Dinner isn’t going to burn, is it?”

“Of course not!”

“Good.” Jesse crashes his lips back against yours as he sweeps you out of the kitchen and through the apartment and into your bedroom, and he kicks the door shut behind him.

His hands dip under your shirt, and he swiftly peels it off your body and tosses it to the side, and your bra quickly joins your shirt on the floor.

Jesse pauses then to slide his hands across your breasts. “Kriff, you’re so soft.” He mumbles against your lips. “I knew you would be. I’ve been fantasizing about this for months now.”

“Um…sorry…”

“Nope. No apologies allowed.” Jesse kisses you quickly and then guides you to sit, and then lay on the bed, so he’s able to lavish your torso with adoring kisses and lazy flicks of his tongue. “All my fantasies did was make this actual moment so much sweeter.” He wraps his lips around one of your nipples and lavishes it with attention, and he doesn’t move to the other side until you’re moaning softly.

He trails his lips back up your body, and sucks a mark against your collar bone, and then he moves up to your neck where he lavishes all of the exposed skin with kisses, taking his time to leave marks anywhere he can.

You squirm under him, gasping moans falling from your lips as he bites and sucks marks against your neck, “Jess-”

He pulls back and grins at you, “You look so pretty covered in my marks, sweetheart,” Jesse breathes out as he drags his hands over your exposed skin, “You’re so soft and warm and so much better than my fantasies.”

“Am I?” You ask.

He groans, “So much so.” He kisses you deeply, “Eventually I’m going to make all of my fantasies come true, but I wanna hear yours, baby. What do you want?”

You shake your head, “I don’t-”

Jesse regards you thoughtfully, and he very gently kisses you, “It’s okay baby, I’ll take care of you. And we can figure out what you like together.”

Your face heats at the way he’s looking at you.

And he laughs softly, “I have to keep reminding myself to go slow,” He murmurs as he lowers himself to press flush against you again, “You’re making me absolutely insane, gorgeous.”

“I haven’t done anything?” You whisper.

“You’re you. That’s enough.”

#star wars #tcw #arc trooper jesse x reader #jesse x reader #18+ fic #clone thirsting #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fanfic #answered asks

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effervescentdragon · 8 months

Note

ferwis + orange

"It's the truck this time," George tells him and Lewis nods. "No car parade."

"Are you mad you won't be able to drive yourself?" Lewis asks and George laughs. There's flush on his cheeks and he is so young and so self assured when he says "I'm pretty sure I could drive the truck, if they'd let me." Lewis laughs and feels his full age bear down on him, but he won't let it bother him. He can't. That's the way madness lies.

He doesn't mind the truck. He usually finds Val, or Val finds him, or one of the kids dares to come talk to him if he isn't giving off extreme Stay Away vibes. Seb usually ignores them and comes over to bother Lewis, but he's too busy reassuring Mick and ignoring Charles like an idiot these days to come talk to Lewis often. He'll be retiring at the end of the season and Lewis absolutely isn't thinking about that. He'll be back. He loves racing too much to leave it all behind, but Lewis doesn't think he can take not winning anymore.

A lot of them can't, not really. Lewis doesn't think about those who won enough to satiate the hunger. He doesn't think it will ever be satiated. He doesn't allow himself to believe it. Madness madness madness.

He's in a weird mood today. George notices and gives him a small smile. He looks around, looking for someone, and his shoulders tighten as they always do when he realises the one he's looking for isn't here. Lewis knows how it feels. Lewis doesn't think about how it will feel again.

He climbs on the truck and fist-bumps whoever puts their hand up without looking. Val gives him a small smile and doesn't approach, and Lewis pushes through and goes to sit at the back. Someone will call him over when it's his turn for the interview.

He watches the crowds cheer as they pass, the main attraction. One two three. He taps his fingers on the railing. He smiles and he waves and all the while he doesn't register anything around him. Not truly, not properly. Four five. Six.

Not until someone leans on the fence right beside him. Strong perfume. Flash of blue and pink. Arm pressed too close to his. One. Two. Three.

Fernando.

There is no way for him to move without it becoming a thing. They're right behind Daniel, who's giving an interview to Sky just then. Four five six.

He smiles and turns to Fernando. "Blue isn't your colour," he says, then giggles without knowing why. Fernando looks at him and raises an eyebrow. One two three. He came to Lewis. He should've known better.

"All colours are my colours," he says. Lewis remembers many nights and many different clothes and many times they disappeared in the dark. Four five.

He inclines his head towards Daniel. "Think we could pull off the new McLaren orange?" Six. Some ghosts never disappear.

Fernando's face does that thing that Lewis remembers from another life he's lead, when he wants to say something awful but he knows he can't. They didn't use to care so much about cameras before. They used to be more genuine before. They used to be more awful. He thinks it's the exact same thing.

"Didn't you know? It's called papaya now," Fernando says in his thick Spanish accent. Lewis giggles again, because that is the most pretentious shit he's heard in a while and it's ridiculous.

"You think Ron would make us do it?" he asks, not even knowing why.

Fernando almost scowls. "He made us do many other things." He waves a hand. His hair falls into his eyes. "We were young back then. We are smarter now."

One two three. Lewis hums. Four five.

"Are we?" He asks, half serious, half not. He never knows, with Nando.

Fernando cocks his head. His grin is cocky. Six.

"Less stupid at least," he says. "Or one of us is."

Seven.

Lewis throws his head back and laughs.

#i. dont know what this is #but i love you #ferwis #one! braincell bestie #effervescentdragonwrites #my writing #f1 rpf

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mcytblr-archive · 2 months

Text

Early MCYTblr Interviews: Anonymous

our interviewee today is the anonymous author of the "SBI Crit Post". he's asked to both remain anonymous and not to be sought out; he's been incredibly helpful and polite through this entire interview process, and i would ask you all to leave any residual feelings you may have from that time at the door. If you think you remember who posted it, please keep it to yourself. that said, let's begin!

Q: Before we begin talking about the ‘Crit Post’, I’d love to hear what your experience of MCYTblr was like before it was posted. Do you have any standout memories from this time?

A: Not particularly. There's some things that I guess looking back on nowadays is kind of wild, like how in the groups I was running in, shipping of any kind that wasn't DNF was super frowned upon (as in, I trigger tagged for IRL shipping)…but truthing wasn't really? Or, how back then the lines between 'critblr' and main mcytblr were super fuzzy. I hung out with both groups before the Crit Post to no issue. Oh!!! And this is a wonderful piece of MCYTblr lore that you may not know, but when I posted the Crit Post, I was apart of a MCYT art exchange themed after MCC called MC Creatives. I think it only happened once, and I can't exactly remember who ran it. They were a really nice DNF (? or just DTeam) blogger. I think it's cool to see that even back then the community was pretty tight knit and had overarching community activities like we see today. It's interesting to me that our fandom has missed out on some of the more important parts to being a fandom… not many big bangs, only one or two that I know of. It's very sad, but we are a weird fandom in general, and definitely a Modern Fandom, if you understand what I mean by that LOL. There is one memory that does stick out, completely irrelevant to this interview though. The fake Dreambur meetup. I pulled an all nighter for it. I was shaking. I drew fanart (though never posted it). Everyone was hysterical. And then it was faked and everyone went WHAT.

Q: As you let me know in your dms, you were the user who made the original “SBI Crit Post”. Would you mind giving a quick rundown of what it was exactly, for anyone who may not know?

A: I would, but frankly I barely remember anything about it. It was like… I saw someone being like "weird that we aren't as critical of SBI as we are of DT" and I thought, "Well, I can probably try?" and made shit up. It was nonsense. I can't even remember what I said about Philza. The points against the others were "Tommy is too young to be in this business" "Wilbur queerbaits" and… "Technoblade needs to be less honest about his ADHD he's glorifying it" or something like that. Again, it was nonsense at its best.

Q: What was your reasoning at the time for making the post? Did the overall culture around you play a part in it?

A: Here's the part no one knows: At the time of posting, I was 13 by maybe… one, two, or three weeks. And I'd spent almost the entirety of my time as a 12 year old in a community that was like "we need to be Critical of our Favorite Creators because this is Righteous and the Only Good Way To Engage With MCYT" and I was like "Everyone here is older than me and therefore endlessly smarter than me," and therefore just accepted it. You can see it very clearly in the part that was "critical" of Wilbur Soot. He was queerbaiting for what? Acting like he wanted to kiss men? Dressing nice? Ridiculous! But if we called Dream a queerbaiter (and never GNF, because everyone was convinced he was gay), then I thought surely Wilbur Soot could also be a queerbaiter! This made total sense to baby 13 year old me. It's not fair to really call that indoctrination: it's not like I was falling down an alt-right pipeline or anything. I was just a stupid kid with too much internet access who liked minecraft and knew nothing about like Dan & Phil or Septiplier (kind of thing that would make me suspicious of this activity--especially truthing). I thought I was fufilling some honor by saying "and yes, my favorite minecraft boys aren't without fault either!" The people that stayed friends with me after that… some of them were my closest normal non-Critblr friends, who refused to abandon me (shout out to you guys you know who you are), and the rest were the people in Critblr who were… okay with my behavior.

Q: I understand that the backlash to the post was very intense– what was it like from your perspective? Did it have any affect on you?

A: Lots. Lots and lots and lots. I lost a bunch of my close friends who weren't okay with what I'd said or how I'd doubled down, and it really messed with me as a kid in the middle of quarantine. There were times where I genuinely considered hurting myself irreperably as either a way to "apologize for what I had done" or just a way to stop worrying that everyone I knew was going to block me one day. Those feelings lasted for a long time, I still struggle with them to this day, over three years later (? I think). And I was kind of lead to believe that was an okay response. I recieved asks the night that it all went down where I was told I should hurt myself. Of course my own behavior wasn't cool, but neither was that. I know there was a post out there by a popular (at the time?) Technoblade blogger that detailed the faults in that post, but I never read it. All I knew about it was that people saw it, and harassed me because they saw it, and that the OP of that post hated me. It got to the point that seeing that blogger's URL caused me to have panic attacks, a ridiculous thing because that blogger as far as I know never actually did anything wrong. I don't know. Every once in awhile, someone in the server I'm in (hi some of you are definitely reading this :3 i love you guys) will bring up the post in passing and I'll have to mute the channel for 24 hours because I'm scared. Or even when we're discussing normal drama, if something feels too close to the Crit Post, or like it might come up, I'll get shaky and nauseous and have to mute the channel for 24 hours. It's weird, the shit being told to kill yourself because you did something dumb as a 13 year old can do to you.

Q: As a follow-up: What, if anything, do you wish had happened instead?

A: I don't know really. I guess the obvious answer is "I didn't make the post" or "I didn't double down", but I think the real answer has to be that I wish the community I was in hadn't taught me that what I was doing was an okay move.

Q: Do you have anything else to add about the Crit Post, MCYTblr, or the community as a whole?

A: Not really. I "retired" from MCYTBlr in I think 2022, but kept a passing interest in it for a long time, and I'm still active in a discord (hi again) comprised entirely of fans and retired fans. I loved MCYT, and in some ways, I still do. When I'm sad, I put on old Technoblade videos. When I'm really sad, I put on old Purpled videos. These things are my comforts, things that I haven't ever been able to give up. And that's good! Even if I don't talk about MCYT anymore, I'm glad it's there for me.

#Early MCYTblr Interviews #Volume 4 #Anonymous #SBI Crit Post

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teecupangel · 1 year

Note

Okay, ignoring cannon and ubisofts total neglect of Elijah. Here's something to think on.

Au where Desmond is active in Elijah's life, maybe after the whole temple and solar flare fiasco he survives, Bill thinks he's dead and he takes the opportunity to per say... retire. Someway somehow Desmond catches wind of his son, the (loving and healthy) banter they'd have would be gut clenching hilarious it'd make you sick from laughing hard.

Desmond: look kid I really need you to cut back on the attitude at the moment

Elijah being the damn near carbon copy of Desmond with twice the sass: for any malfunctions, questions, or complaints, please contact the manufacturer

All the ancestors somehow watching the banter from the sidelines, either laughing or shaking their heads: those are definitely our descendants

They would have an “Elijah, no!”/”Elijah, yes!” and “Dad, no!”/“Dad, yes!” dynamic and everyone who knows they’re father and son would be like “yeah, that tracks.”

You also know Desmond would be the kind of dad that would make dad jokes because he knows it annoys Elijah. The more Elijah looks like the world is conspiring to kill him with his cause of death being embarrassment, the more Desmond does it.

Plot-wise, this could happen while Desmond was trying to tie up loose ends on his side to make sure his ‘death’ is permanent to everyone involved.

This, of course, leads him to learn about Elijah thanks to a file in Abstergo’s database that connects Elijah to his own file so he deletes everything by physically destroying the servers that housed that specific database and then makes his way to find Elijah.

In this scenario, Desmond knew it would be too risky for Elijah and his mom to stay in New York when Abstergo already knows about them and he managed to get his…… Desmond doesn’t even know what to call her… friend? Ex-one-night-stand? Anyway, he managed to get thru to them and they all leave the US because it’s just simply too risky to stay in the country.

(And, as much as Desmond wants to go to Villa Auditore, that would be stupid).

So they go to a country that has minimal ties with his ancestors and sorta try to live like some kind of sitcom family but Desmond and Elijah’s mom have the romantic chemistry of a wet cardboard box so everyone who knows them knows they’re friends raising their son together. Desmond gets a bar and Elijah has a sorta normal school life.

Then Desmond notices Elijah’s smarter than he actually is but hiding it because they are trying to remain incognito.

“Sorry, kid. I know it’s hard pretending to be someone you’re not.”

“I’m not pretending. I don’t want people to know I’m smarter than all of them combined.”

“Okay, take it down a notch, Einstein.”

“Do you know what they think of the smart kids in school? It’s just a different kind of torture, being known as the smartest kid in a government-mandated prison. I’ll probably get pushed all over in the showers if they knew I know how to use all the chemicals in the science lab to build a bomb. ‘God’ forbid I drop my soap…”

“Oh my god.”

Really, Elijah and Desmond say a lot of stuff that gives them headaches but that’s how similar they are. Elijah also likes to stare at the people his parents date and go “good luck” before going back to his room.

And both of them know Elijah is just being a little shit to make the poor innocent ‘date’ paranoid as fuck.

And Desmond would have problems with how to talk to Elijah at the start, of course. He had missed a lot and it was just awkward between them.

Until he realized who Elijah acts like.

Always curious about everything and anything.

A sharp tongue with a habit of sarcastic and dry humor.

A genius who knows he’s a genius.

Oh god.

His son was a mini-Altaïr!

And that is how Desmond realized that the best way to get into Elijah’s skin is to be a loving dad who likes to tease his son.

And Elijah, as much as he pretends to be annoyed by it, actually leans in whenever Desmond ruffles his hair or hugs him.

Not that he was going to say anything about it though.

Nope.

Sidenote:

I kinda like the idea that Elijah’s personality is a mix of a young curious child with the arrogance of Aita. Being kidnapped and watching his mom die made him a quiet child that has anger issues. So this Elijah would be happier and much more polite. He’s only sarcastic when he’s annoyed or close to someone. Also, his first crush will be someone who can kick his ass and Desmond would just stare at him because… yeah, that tracks.

And, if we keep Desmond’s Bleeding Effect, Elijah could interact with his ancestors as well. Might even call them something like variations of ‘grandpa’. They usually try to pretend to be Desmond whenever Elijah’s mom is there but Elijah knows which is which by now.

Desmond knows about it and he can’t help but feel happy that his own son accepts even that part of him.

#we always ignore canon anyway XD #edward can also be included in the bleeding effect #he has a feeling he knows elijah but he can’t be sure #elijah just keeps quiet #oh course #elijah knows he’s a sage #but he’s keeping it all a secret #because he’s afraid desmond would hate him if he knew #he was the sage of a man that loved juno #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #elijah miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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christophfanalways · 5 months

Text

INTERVIEW from Dec. 2, 2023

Actor Christoph Waltz: “Anti-Semitism is a very deep disease in a society. But it's not a fact that you just have to accept."

In an exclusive interview with “NZZ am Sonntag”, the Austrian talks about opera, anti-Semitism in his childhood and neuroses as a family legacy.

Christoph Waltz, do you find films boring?

Christoph Waltz: How did you come up with the idea?

Because you started directing operas after over 120 films and two Oscars.

But not out of boredom! I have always found opera, a story embedded in music, to be extremely interesting. Of course I could pursue this medium at home on the couch with a textbook. But I'm always interested in the activity, the doing. That's why I'm not yet an opera director. There are plenty of great ones out there.

So why do you stage operas?

You always talk about intention and approach, but you also have to be given the chance to implement it. And Aviel Cahn, the director of the Grand Théâtre de Genève, was looking for someone who could tell a compelling story. He didn't ask me because he expected an incredibly innovative concept that would revolutionize opera.

In a conversation with Daniel Barenboim you described yourself as a “conservative fart”. Is this a good starting point for staging an opera in 2023?

I said that because I am following with some interest how a new convention has become established in the cultural world. Look, the iconoclasm has long since been done. All texts are deconstructed. In principle, almost all theoretical approaches have been exhausted. What are you doing now?

Tell us.

Anyone who claims to be iconoclastic or unconventional is simply conforming to this new convention. And as a viewer I'm disappointed because I already suspected that.

That doesn't sound conservative. By conservative I would imagine that you keep something as it is.

May I be very rude: That's just how you imagine it. Words are filled with meanings and we are attached to them.

How do you imagine it?

For me, a work does not have to be new in its form. It's about the viewer. The work is intended to enable him to find a small gap in his beautifully crafted imagination and to let a little light shine through there. I prefer to sit back and be served in the “Kronenhalle”, it costs just as much and takes just as long.

Christoph Waltz

The most elegant of all villains

Born in Vienna in 1956, Waltz grew up in a family of theater makers and psychoanalysts; he has the same stepfather as the director Michael Haneke. Waltz studied singing and acting. He won an Oscar each for “Inglourious Basterds” and “Django Unchained” by Quentin Tarantino. Since then he has been known as a cool, elegant villain.

Richard Strauss' “Rosenkavalier” moves in a time-schizophrenia. A past is imagined, but with waltz sounds that didn't exist back then, and it's about topics that are relevant today, such as #MeToo. What are you after?

I don't have to follow what's already in the story, it's there. And I wouldn't like to claim that I'm so much smarter than Hugo von Hofmannsthal or Richard Strauss that I have to help things along. Although when it comes to Hofmannsthal, I'm not what you would call a fan. The year in which “Rosenkavalier” was performed was the year in which Schönberg’s “Pierrot Lunaire” was written. Hofmannsthal indulged in Kakanien for a bit.

Christoph Waltz rehearsing “Rosenkavalier” at the Grand Théâtre de Genève.

Dougados Magali

In the k.-u.-k. During the monarchy, Vienna's cultural identity was very Jewish. It was the time of Sigmund Freud, Karl Kraus, Oskar Kokoschka, Joseph Roth. Did this mean there was less anti-Semitism in Vienna?

I'm not sure about this. I experienced anti-Semitic things myself as a school child in Vienna. But they weren't problematized in the 1960s. I had a teacher who told my best friend in geography class to stop making stupid Jewish jokes. Nobody was outraged back then. The teacher was just an old Nazi and an idiot, we knew that. My boyfriend didn't mind at all either. I was more itchy than him.

Because your own father's mother was Jewish?

No. Nobody has tied their identity to humiliation. It wasn't scratched.

How is identity determined? At the family? Your grandfather, Rudolf Urbantschitsch, was a psychoanalyst, your grandmother an actress.

A psyche, especially a child's psyche, is occupied with concepts that this brain did not produce on its own. This is inevitable. This is how we shape our personality and our identity. But this is different than one that is consciously and intentionally accepted due to external circumstances.

You need to explain this in a little more detail.

I mean, this identity politics today isn't really about identity. It is identity. I haven't thought this through carefully, but I'll say it anyway: it's more about an agenda than an identity.

Since the outbreak of the Middle East conflict on October 7th, the German cultural scene has been forced to position itself.

This compulsion is akin to the formation of a new convention that we spoke about earlier. Nobody asks exactly, and nobody is interested in the facts. But everyone wants to represent something. Because they don't know exactly what, they just represent themselves. And since they don't have much to do with it, it's made all the more loud and extreme. This is a tragic development that can definitely be attributed to the decline in educational standards.

That's why you're worried about the state of our culture?

The viewer's judgment is hindered. We can only make progress through the judgment of the observer.

Her grandfather coined the phrase: “Neurosis is the emblem of culture.” Was he right?

I think this is a “sound bite” that was already used for marketing back then. This opinion puts me at odds with my siblings, who view the matter with more reverence. My grandfather sometimes formulated something cryptically, not least because he wanted to cover up his less-than-scientific approach.

Why do you view him critically?

That was his conflict with Freud. That Freud said he wasn't scientific. They were together in the Vienna Psychoanalytic Association. My grandfather was, in a sense, a student of Freud. But who wasn't in psychoanalysis at that time?

Was it and was it considered good manners in Vienna to be somewhat neurotic?

Can I say: There are more psychotherapists and psychoanalysts in Zurich than in Vienna. And significantly more.

But any amateur Freudian would be delighted with you because you first married a psychoanalyst and then a costume designer - which was your mother's job.

Yes. Of course all of this influenced me. That would have been the case if my grandfather had been a locksmith and my mother had been a physicist. Everything that has happened to you shapes you. So we all need to be a little more careful about what we do with it.

What do you mean?

Because we are not simply the victims of our conditioning. If we are interested in a particular matter, we must handle the matter responsibly. You have options for action. This also applies to anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism is a very deep disease in a society. But that doesn't mean it's a fact that you just have to accept. Even if you are an anti-Semite yourself. You could also leave it be. This is available to you.

Don't you overestimate us humans?

The question would be: How can I, on my own initiative, decide that it would be much more beneficial not only for myself, but for the general public to let it go?

And how is that supposed to succeed?

No idea. It is the task of those who have already recognized this to show others these possibilities. And not as a moral obligation, but as a practical possibility. This is how cognitive behavioral therapy works. You don't say: You're bad. Because that is – speaking of childhood – the best way to create opposition and neuroses.

Art has to play a role here. The mass medium of film in particular has a very significant impact on young people. But when the threshold of shame falls and the level of education falls, what can art do?

I'm afraid art can't change much. And I fear something even worse: that's not what art is intended for.

Rather?

Art is a way into a dimension that we cannot reach any other way.

But something could happen to me there that reminds me: Be the individual you believe you are. And act accordingly instead of what a group tells you to do.

Of course, you are right. Art can open up a perspective on problematic topics. But she cannot agitate, i.e. reverse the dynamic and intervene didactically.

She could, but she shouldn't.

It can create nothing but vehement opposition if someone throws this thing in my face. Art can only invite me, as a viewer or listener, into this dimension, and I must also be able to venture into it. The change is up to the viewer. But the artist cannot force this on me.

As an actor, you have to trust that the finished film will open doors like that. It is, so to speak, beyond your responsibility how your role affects the audience.

But it is my responsibility to give you a response. Your own and not something I would ask of you. It is a great responsibility not to stand in front of the role and the story and say that you think I, Christoph, are great. But to make room – ultimately for you. But this is one thing that is currently not being taken care of.

So, is your defining characteristic as an actor and director is humility?

I almost said arrogance. But that's not it either. But it is by no means modest.

What then?

It's a completely different consideration: how I open the content. And how I invite you into the content.

You actually want to be repelled by the Bond villain Blofeld, who you played, but you can't. That's one such reaction.

Wondering why you can't manage to dislike the villain? I can't get any higher praise. Because you're asking yourself that, but not me.

They wouldn't even be able to answer it.

No, I don't know what brings you to this.

Why do you like playing these elegant, chilly villains so much?

I don't live out evil. If I played a murderer and wanted to live that out, I would have to go kill someone now. As an actor, I synchronize myself with a story, like you do when you read a novel, for example.

Christoph Waltz as a 20-year-old in the children's show “Amdamdes”

youtube

You studied singing, you can play the cello, piano, saxophone and guitar and you almost became a musician. Is the emotional, romantic opera your balance to your villain roles?

Already. But maybe not for the reasons you mentioned.

Then why?

Because of the music. What is inside her alone. It gives what is being told an additional dimension. Although in the case of “Rosenkavaliers” Strauss may not be at the top of his craft in terms of craftsmanship. The fans had condemned him for this work after his “Elektra”. It's too banal. Not that I have a bad conscience - but I ask myself: Can I really allow myself to talk about Strauss like that?

Why not? As a director, Strauss is your work material.

No, not material, but leadership.

This is too humble an attitude.

Well, I'll allow that, please. Thanks. I'll take advantage of that. This may pose a risk if I don't question the source. But I believe that just as I hinder your viewing when I stand in front of a role as an actor, I hinder your reception when I stand in front of a work as a director.

Are you against interpretation?

If I wanted to put a context on this that I claim I am the only one to recognize, and compel you to share that view, it would be for me as an old practitioner developing a worldview as if the horse was being bridled from the tail.

The music also provides a reading.

There are directors like Michael Haneke who reject music in their films because they say it is a rule for the viewer, a misdirection into emotionality. A film without music is still a film. If you take the music away from the opera, it's no longer opera.

In “Rosenkavalier” Baron Ochs is a terrible philanderer, but he sings very sweetly and naively.

Assuming that you are in a relationship, if you could sometimes smack your partner against the wall, would that mean you love them less at that moment? Definitely not. Conversely, it could be that you can't stand him right now, but in moments you are carried away by a reaction, a behavior. No person who wants to claim to be human consists of only one characteristic.

And you also find that in “Rosenkavalier”?

“Rosenkavalier” is such an incredibly psychologically nuanced piece that the whole Mozartkugel packaging in which we are always fobbed at it doesn’t come close to capturing the dimension of its humanity.

#christoph waltz #christophwaltz #magazine interview

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bidisasterevankinard · 11 months

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This little thing was born after I saw tags by @shortsighted-owl

so Imagine Buck has scars on face after tsunami and sometimes he is really insecure. Or people make him insecure, but Eddie always here

For the last two years, Buck learned how to live with scars on his face. The largest one stretches from the cheek to the eye across the entire bridge of the nose, one under the eye and one above it. The half of his face turned into unpleasant scars. For two months after the tsunami, he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror without feeling sick, panic, and fear. But over time, it all turned into hatred for the way he looks now. With his size and scars, he looks too intimidating, and definitely not the way someone like Eddie’s partner should look. But somehow Eddie chose him and now they have been together for almost a year. And Eddie, ever since the tsunami, had been trying to convince him that the scars weren’t so bad, and lately Buck had been believing it more and more. In recent months, looking in the mirror, he did not flinch and did not feel like a freak. Up to this moment.

He and Eddie went out to a bar on a date, as Chris went to a friend’s for a sleepover and Buck, as a good boyfriend, went to get Eddie a drink, only to return and find his boyfriend in the company of a pretty blond guy who is clearly flirting.

“C’mon, I can be really pleasant company,” the blonde says, moving closer to his boyfriend.

“I have a boyfriend,” Eddie says with a deliberately calm tone, but Buck can see how Eddie is really furious at the behavior of this stranger. At that moment, he raises his head and Buck sees his shoulders relax when they meet eyes. “And he’s here. So fuck off.”

The guy raises his head too and chuckles, “You pretty boy can have someone who doesn’t look like a scarecrow.”

Buck feels like he’s ready to cry here and now. He closes his eyes and tilts his head, trying to hide his face, miraculously he doesn’t drop their drinks. He puts them on the table when he hears this guy cry out in fear. Buck raises his head to see furious Eddie holding a guy his T-shirt and growling menacingly right in his face: “Call my boyfriend scarecrow again or just allow yourself to look in his direction incorrectly and there will be no bloodstain left from you.”

Eddie pushes the guy hard, so that he falls full and hurries away. Buck stays silent, still standing on the other side of the table, lowering his head again.

“Baby,” Eddie says softly, but Buck can’t stay here anymore, so he runs away, leaving his boyfriend. He only exits the bar when familiar hands catch him right at the door.

“Baby, talk to me, please,” Eddie says, trying to make eye contact and even putting both his hands on Buck’s cheeks and directing his face so that Buck’s blue eyes met his hazel. But Buck closed his own so that his beautiful boyfriend could not see his tears. Buck knows he shouldn’t cry at this asshole’s words, but his words are true. Why would Eddie need him if he can find someone better than Buck? And not just prettier, but smarter, kinder, more responsible. Someone who will be better than Buck at everything.

“I don’t need anyone else. Someone prettier, kinder, or more responsible. I need and want YOU, because you’re perfect for me, Evan. You’re my perfect partner. I love you,” Eddie says, and Buck feels even more stupid from what he said out it loud. “Please, look at me Evan.”

Buck opens his eyes and through tears, he sees Eddie’s soft look. There is so much love in him, as Buck still does not understand how anyone can have for him. But Eddie loves him so much and Buck doesn’t want to lose him and that.

“I love you too. But sometimes it’s hard to love myself,” Buck says and starts crying right in front of the entrance to the bar. Eddie just hugs him and lets Buck nuzzle his neck.

“I called Uber while I was running to catch you. They will be here soon. We will come home and cuddle all night in our bed,” Eddie says, while slowly running his hands over Buck’s back. “I know sometimes you can’t love yourself, and I hate that sometimes you can’t even believe you deserve love, but today I can love you enough for both of us. But please remember that I love you. And I love your scars. I hate you were in the tsunami and got them, but they show how strong you were to save yourself and our son. So please, when it gets hard, just remember that.”

Buck just nods. He can try to do it, but not today. Today he will go to their house with the love of his life and will cuddle with his boyfriend all night, proving to his demons that Eddie will not go anywhere.

#my fics #buddie ficlet #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 #911 abc #evan buck buckley

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 8 months

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Another day/week/hour of accumulating thoughts which haven't marinated enough.

That Zzinu guy (I can't remember his actual name) is really hanging out with everyone relevant in the industry, he's everywhere 👀 I saw him with RM on IG and at some concert, had no idea they were buddies.

Why did Jungkook come back just for a few days? What was that damn urgent to fly to Seoul only to go back to US in no time? I thought someone would enlist, but nope.

I took the bus downtown twice today instead of calling for a car. I have to stop being delusional and accept that I'm not rich.

I'm not gonna write a review of Tedros' album cause I don't feel there's a point, but I do have like a few things to say. Why is it being talked about like he started working on Layover 3 years ago? I mean, he started working on music, yes, but this thing that came out? That's like some team who probably put together the music a lot more recently. But hey, I'm just babbling so what the fuck do I know? Slow Dancing sounds good. I mean, nice enough to have it in the background in a playlist. All the songs feel too short, like they're some samples and they just decided to release them that way. Since his contribution was mostly singing the actual songs, it feels like he gave Min Hee Jin a pinterest board of who is Taehyung and from that entire thing, she created the Kim Taehyung artiste aesthetic. It's her vibe all over it. Just as it's her entire shtick all over NewJeans. It screams more MHJ than the actual idols.

I tried so hard in the past 30 min to stop myself from being bitchy, but I can't help it. To those who think that they got out of the jikook cult and now they're smarter and feel the need to still use the tag to post their bullshit? Wake up, you're still in a cult, you just switched to another. Absolutely pathetic. I wish I could fuck with pjms cause I admire the way they stand up for Jimin and they're like the most organized fanbase. But the moment they started using cult/tkkr narative and making Jimin sound like a puppet, I just knew they're not better. And a sign that I cannot affiliate myself to any group in this fandom, I'm riding on my own like I always have.

You know what's ironic though? Jikookers are basically the only ship fandom within bts who since the beginning and especially in the latest years, should have just sat back and relax cause they're so damn privileged. No other pair in bts is giving what dumb and dumber (I call them that with all my love) are doing together, but there's not a day in which I don't see stupid anons or jikookers fighting and bringing arguments. Waste of time!

And in that vein, pjms would only have to learn from their god damn classy bias who is no doormat and act accordingly. Fight for him without acting so damn stupid. In terms of artistry, he's the best out there out of this group and others in his generation. Isn't that fucking cool? And look at his behavior. Let army and kpop stans get frustrated thanks to Jimin's achievements and how you can contribute to that, not using the same foul language which only trashy stans are using. Do better ffs. Fix that attitude. And stop believing you know Jimin's brain and soul inside out. No one does. It only makes you sound like any other delusional kpop stan.

Key's Good & Great is out. I only had time to watch the mv once during actual work hours (fitting) and I can't get into anh details, but I liked the idea of workaholism tied to a simulation. There's tons of layers and stuff to be analyzed there, perhaps some other time.

#m thoughts #also I do not need harassment and informants going around and spreading stuff based on what I write #these are literally opinions #not universal truths that I impose forceably #leave me alone #do I have to repeat every single time that it's not that serious?#I don't care about others #but it's not for me #the minute I press post and leave the app #my mind is somewhere else #chill #do I have to give a warning every single time?#no I don't hate Tae #no I don't hate x and y member #no I don't hate everyome #at least on twitter people have more balls #that's the difference here #we're chicken shits on tumblr

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