#domestic trauma

[willowser]

thinking about you laying in bed with bakugou and lightly tracing the messy edges of the scar in the middle of his chest, hardly able to comprehend how deep that wound runs. it had already been there for years by the time you'd met him, but sometimes you see it and are unable to swallow the fact that—at one time—you were alive and he wasn't.

very quietly, you say, "it's crazy to think how easily i could have missed you,"

because it's not every day you meet and fall in love with a man that's died and come back. if fate is destined and soulmates are real, you imagine the two separate paths of your lives traveling parallel, in sync—and his breaking away for one horrible moment, torn from you before you even knew it.

bakugou is half-asleep, you know, but he shifts until his chin is lightly nudging your forehead, and speaks into your hair. "nah," he murmurs, voice thick and slow and slurred. "would'a found you eventually."

and somehow, you can't find it in your heart to doubt him.

#just #imagine meeting a man and loving him and knowing that he'd died and come back #like fully DIED #not almost not kind of but dead done-zo #that's just so insane #how easily you could have never known him #could have never known him the way you do now #waaaahhh #not to diminish his pain and suffering and death and resurrection and trauma and only acknowledge it for a romantic scenario #but you very easily might have never known bakugou katsuki #and that is not lost on you #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou #✿ theme: domestic bakugou

[neuroticboyfriend]

Abuse has a goal behind it, and a lot of the time, it's about changing the victims behavior. If someone screams at you for not doing X activity, eventually you learn to do X activity. If someone hits you when you defy them, eventually you learn not to defy them. If someone abuses you frequently enough, and you begin to break down to their will... It is possible to reach a point where it may seem like you're not being abused anymore.

They don't yell anymore because you stay quiet and do what you're told. They don't threaten you anymore because you don't voice even the slightest disagreement or need. What used to be screaming fighting arguments have become lectures at your expense. They may even praise you for doing what they want you to. And all those mundane moments - breakfast, the rare kind act - stand out more. Your perception of the relationship skews even more. It's all normal now.

And it's still abuse. It's just reached its end goal - wearing you down so badly that they don't need to overtly abuse you anymore to get what they want. All they need to do is make a joke, or complain to guilt you, or tell you want to do/not to do, etc. etc. The fact that's all it takes now doesn't make what's happening to you less severe - if anything, it means you're in much, much more danger than you could realize.

It's abuse. It's horrific. It's just not obvious anymore... and that's terrifying. You deserve so, so much better. You deserve to truly be safe - not to have your wellbeing held behind fearful compliance. That's not safety. That's not love. That's abuse. It being psychological doesn't make it less dangerous.

#messages to myself #softspoonie #abuse #domestic abuse #psychological abuse #covert abuse #overt abuse #abusive relationships #abusive parents #child abuse #surviving abuse #verbal abuse #mental abuse #mental health #trauma

[moonlit-positivity]

Somebody might need to hear this: hey. That was a really scary thing you had to go through. What an awful feeling to be carrying around. So deep inside where no one can hurt you like that ever again. If no one else has ever told you this before then I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you made it. And I'm so fucking sorry you had to see it to begin with. You absolutely did not need to see that. Not ever.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #relationships #communication #traumatic events #bpd #child abuse #toxic parenting #ed #eating disorder #addiction #alcoholism #acoa #sa #domestic violence #positivity #warm reminders #soft reminders #compassionate reminders #warm suggestions #self love #self esteem #reparenting #gentle parenting

[xenon-demon]

only one (1) coherent thought in my skull right now and it’s domestic steddie with Steve washing Eddie’s hair after he’s discharged from hospital post-Vecna.

I’m imagining Eddie’s being discharged to Steve’s house, because Steve is but a simple man with a saviour complex (and also a crush on Eddie) so he’s letting Wayne and Eddie stay with him. Partly so they have somewhere to be while the government sorts out some new housing for them, but mostly because Eddie needs support for these first few weeks out of hospital and Wayne is away at work a lot. Having Steve around as well means Eddie won’t end up in a situation where he needs a hand but is stuck home alone for hours.

Eddie’s recovered enough for discharge but still requires a lot of physical therapy, and one of the things he still can’t do is raise his arms above his head. He can’t wash his hair pretty much at all, and while the nurses washed it for him in hospital, they didn’t do it frequently enough for Eddie’s standards. His hair has been driving him insane, as the limp, greasy feeling against his face, neck and scalp makes him want to claw his skin off. When he’s told how long it’s expected to take before his arms have full range of motion again, he makes a joke-that’s-not-really-a-joke about going back to his buzzcut days just to avoid dealing with the feeling.

Steve is horrified at the suggestion, and immediately offers to wash Eddie’s hair for him. He also divulges that part of the reason he styled his hair the way he did in high school was because he played a lot of sports, and couldn’t stand the feeling of sweaty hair against his neck and face. Sure, he genuinely did want his hair to look good, but styling it up so it was out of his face was an added bonus.

Eddie’s hair is driving him so crazy that he says yes, especially once he realises Steve might actually get where he’s coming from.

Cue an emotionally tense shower, where both Steve and Eddie are stripped down to their boxers because they don’t want to this fully clothed but they sure as fuck don’t want to do it naked, either. (Spoiler alert, they’d both actually love to have a naked shower together, they’re just both too nervous to bring that up at this stage!)

But then Eddie slips while in the shower, still unsteady on his feet and learning to adjust to his bad leg, so Steve makes an executive decision to switch over to the bath. After a bit of manoeuvring they find a comfortable position to do this; Eddie sitting in front of Steve in the bath, Steve’s legs stretched out either side of him. Between the physical intimacy of having your hair washed by someone else, and the way they don’t have to look at each other’s faces as they do this, they end up talking. They get a lot more personal than they were able to in hospital or during Spring Break, and it’s such a nice experience that they’ll each happily put up with the sensory hell of waterlogged boxers.

Eventually - after Eddie and Wayne have moved into their new place, but Eddie and Steve are over at each other’s houses often enough that they might as well still be living together - Eddie can move his arms enough to wash his hair on his own. He’s gotten more used to his bad leg and can stand long enough to even shower if he wants to. They go about three weeks with Eddie washing his own hair, both of them desperately missing this little routine they’d built but not wanting to admit it. One day, however, Eddie feels so lonely and so tired from physical therapy that day that he asks Steve to wash his hair for him. Steve accepts in a heartbeat, almost before Eddie’s even had time to say the words.

It feels different that time. The energy between them is charged, everything feeling more intimate somehow. It’s so palpable a difference that after Steve runs the conditioner through Eddie’s hair to let it sit for a few minutes, Eddie turns around in the bath to face Steve. He takes a breath, trying to steel his nerves, and asks: can I kiss you?

Steve doesn’t answer him; he thinks the way he leans in and slots his lips in between Eddie’s is answer enough.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie ficlet #domestic steddie #charlie writes things #they are AuDHD4AuDHD in this!!!! they’ve both got sensory issues!!!!! #inspired by my own sensory struggles with unwashed hair #also in this universe eddie absolutely is disabled post-vecna and steve has hearing/vision issues due to head trauma #those things just don’t really come up #might make this into a proper fic if I have time/motivation

[she-is-ovarit]

"Approximately 80% of all patients diagnosed with autoimmune diseases are women."

For those of you who might wonder why this is the case, to shock nobody, we can add this to the list of mysterious medical conditions women experience that still remain elusive to the medical field.

However, there's some speculation:

Female sex hormones

The X chromosome

Microchimerism

Environmental factors

The microbiome

Antibodies

Interesting, considering female human beings actually have stronger immune systems than males.

To briefly talk about maybe the most overlooked and dismissed cause of high rates of autoimmune diseases in women, chronic stress (which presumably falls under "environmental factors") has been found to be strongly correlated with autoimmune diseases across multiple studies ("...up to 80% of patients reported uncommon emotional stress before disease onset), which can be triggered by even just one traumatic event, and anxiety disorders such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, etc. are extremely high for women in comparison to men.

Women experience PTSD two to three times the rate as men do (source), panic disorder is 2.5 times more common in women and girls than in men and boys (source), and generalized anxiety disorder (which is often treated as trivial and grossly overlooked) is again 2-3 times higher for women and girls than it is for men and boys (source). Behaviorally chronic stress and trauma also often presents differently between the sexes - "fight or flight" for men and "tend and befriend" (fawn and freeze) for women.

Men are more likely to commit physical, psychological, and sexual violence and women are more likely to respond to this violence by continuously be on the receiving end of their behavior and never leaving, even when their children are caught in the middle.

Chronic stress means persistent high levels of cortisol in women's bodies. There is sexual dimorphism in our immune systems. High cortisol leads to Hypothalamic–Pituitary–Adrenal (HPA) axis dysregulation (please, learn more about this).

This leads to heart issues, susceptibility to infectious diseases and auto-immune disorders, an unexplainable debilitating chronic fatigue that can lead to a bedridden life, multiple sclerosis, the progression and reoccurance of cancers, earlier HIV disease progression, and dementia. There's also the bidirectional problem in which HPA axis dysregulation, created from high levels of cortisol from chronic stress in the first place, also in turn biologically causes increased anxiety.

So...

Approximately 80% of all patients diagnosed with auto-immune diseases are women.

And auto-immune diseases are found to be strongly, strongly linked with stress disorders.

And women are several more times likely to experience trauma and stress disorders than males across the board.

And when stress is triggered, men are more likely to throw punches or leave and women are more likely to freeze and people please.

And men are vastly less likely to seek out a therapist to fix their issues or even demonstrate empathy for other men, instead using women as emotional crutches and punching bags.

And freezing and fawning for women often means staying in those same conditions even when there's a risk of death.

And staying in those same conditions when a woman has children and the means those children learn those behaviors and likely develop chronic stress themselves, and the cycle of trauma continues.

And even when women leave those conditions, we're far more likely to end up in re-traumatizing situations as we seek out familiar dynamics.

And even when we're able to break free from this dynamic, because we're far more likely to seek out and stay in therapy, we're still left with trying to resolve chronic, disabling, sometimes life-threatening health issues caused by HPA-axis dysregulation from chronic stress.

While HPA-axis dysregulation in turn generates anxiety, which then creates high cortisol, which results in a feedback loop.

This was supposed to be a short post, but I want to leave off with solutions. Please don't give up on your mental health. Religiously go to therapy. Have extremely high standards for yourself in your relationships. Practice diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, exercise. It's been found that moving your body through exercise, Thai-chi, sports, short walks, dance, whatever (to the best of your ability, if you're able) can really help - just know your limits. If you're not there yet take liquid vitamins as needed (vitamin deficiencies such as low B-vitamins, low magnesium, low good fats, and D3 also cause chronic stress, immunity issues, and chronic fatigue). Make those medical appointments. Eat well, socialize, rest (especially during a PEM or immunity crash), aim for 64 ounces of water a day. Leave miserable situations when you find your chance to. Learn the language of your body and listen to it, and have patience. I've had periods of being bedridden and unable to work. I'm getting better, but it hasn't just been one thing that has been a "fix". If this list overwhelms you, just pick one thing that's most doable. We matter.

#women's oppression #women's health #autoimmune disorders #feminism #global feminism #violence against women #domestic violence #female socialization #trauma #mental health #wellness #therapy #emotional health

[floralembarrassment]

Mistakes (1/1) (jegulus)

Regulus didn't know what he was going to do. He was so worried James was going to be mad. James had never been mad for this type of thing before, but here he was looking at his 4-year-old's crayon scribbles all over James' book draft.

Regulus hadn't realized what the stack of paper was and told Harry he could grab pieces to draw on from the pile on James' desk. When he came back from getting him some water Regulus saw the printed text of the nearly-finished story covered.

"Oh no," Regulus had said when he realized. Harry pouted and when Regulus started picking things up trying to fix it, Harry knew he had done something bad but wasn't too sure what. His small face quickly filled with sadness; He didn't want his dad to be disappointed in him.

James was going to be home any minute, and sure enough Regulus heard the car pull in the driveway. There was nothing he could do, feeling himself go into a mix of protect and fight mode, he couldn't keep his expression neutral. Harry read the fear because it was all over his face and started to cry.

James walked into a very upset household. He had gone to call out his usual happy hello, but he heard his son crying and walked into the living room to see Regulus cradling him in his lap, whispering reassurances soothingly to him: "tu n'as rien fait de mal, c'est moi qui t'ai dit de l'utiliser, c'était juste une petite erreur."

"Hey..." James said tentatively.

"Okay. Listen- James it was just an accident. I'm so sorry but I told Harry to grab paper from the pile on your desk and he grabbed your manuscript instead and drew all over it, but it wasn't his fault okay I told him too, blame me." Regulus rushed out, holding Harry a little bit tighter.

James understood what was happening right away. "Love it's okay, simple mistake. That's just the draft anyway," James said walking over and kneeling down next to them. He put a hand on Harry's back.

"It's okay son, just a little mistake yeah?" James said softly. Harry turned his tear stained face to look at James and then held his arms out for James to take him into a big hug.

Regulus immediately calmed, but his eyes stayed cautious as he watched James pick up the pages Harry drew on.

"Reg, we should frame these!" James said after looking at them. "Honestly how cool that he put his art on mine and now it's this abstract." James said turning the page to see it from different angles, forever finding the bright side.

Then James turned around and grabbed the crayons, "here," he said handing the paper and crayons to Regulus. "You draw on there too, then we can all have a piece of it!" James said.

Harry was smiling from his lap now as he watched Regulus transcribe the notes from the the lullaby James and Regulus had made up for Harry.

"We will put it on the fridge for now, yes? Then get a frame on the weekend!" James explained and Harry followed him into the kitchen to watch James hang it with a "special magnet" Harry picked.

"You okay?" James asked as he saw Regulus lean in the doorway.

"Now yes, was a bit freaked out for a moment. Sorry about that..." Regulus said dropping his gaze.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about." James reassured and then pressed a sweet kiss on his head.

#jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #lgbtq+ #fanfic #trauma responses sometimes don't completely go away #marauders #james x regulus #marauders era #regulus black #harry potter #james potter #marauders fandom #james fleamont potter #regulus arcturus black #jegulus raising harry #domesticity #hurt/comfort

[whumpshaped]

famous whumpee attempting to cover up for whumper (maybe a partner) because there have been allegations of abuse in their relationship? all eyes are on whumpee for explanation.

content: domestic whump, stockholm syndrome, known whumpee, past trauma, manipulation

"Hi, guys," Whumpee said, trying to keep up a cheery attitude for the camera. It didn't sound honest. They cleared their throat and tried again. "Hi, guys!" Still not very good.

Did they even need to sound cheery for a video like this? No, most people would be upset at accusations like that. Still, they needed to come across pleasant. Pleasant, but not particularly cheery. Concise. Holding back anger, maybe? They could act angry further along into the video.

They cleared their throat again.

"Hi, guys! Today's video is less..." Less what? "...happy, uh..." This was horrible. Start again. "Hi, guys! Today's video is a less happy one, as I'm sure you've guessed from the title. But it isn't less happy because it's some huge callout about my partner— It's less happy because the allegations that have been going around lately are... very heavy, and they're... they're honestly really upsetting for both of us."

They make my partner angry and they get very scary when they're angry.

They shifted in their seat, then took a deep breath. "I mean... Allegations like that are serious. But speculation on the topic is just... really hurtful. We've been together for years, and apart from some minor arguments, we've never had... We've never had..."

Clear throat, try again.

"We've been together for years, and we're very happy in this relationship. So seeing all those comments and theories is super hurtful. Even to me, and I'm not even the one being accused of... The a-word the site won't even let me utter. My partner is affected really deeply by your words—"

No, that would be giving too much power to these stupid people. It would make it worse.

"I would like to encourage you to please remember that you guys don't really know how our relationship is. Latching onto every little word, every little reaction... I've seen these weird compilations of me 'flinching whenever they move too suddenly', and it's... weird, I'm gonna be honest."

Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath.

Breathe.

By the time Whumpee was done recording, they could barely remember what they'd said. They detached the camera from their tripod and brought it to their computer, hoping the finished product would be something Whumper would approve of.

~

this is one of my last drabbles here, please feel free to follow me on my new blog @sowhumpshaped

#asks #whump #whump drabble #domestic whump #stockholm syndrome #known whumpee #past trauma #manipulation

[fragmented-artist]

X

Blaine

#cptsd #actually traumagenic #dissociative identity disorder #actually ptsd #actually traumatized #post traumatic stress disorder #traumagenic system #actually did #ptsd #traumatized #religious trauma #domestic abuse #dv survivor #survivor #complex ptsd #tw ptsd #c ptsd #cptsd vent #traumacore #trauma survivor #trauma #abuse #tw abuse #anxiety #emotional abuse #blaine

[smok3r7]

Is Leaving Even An Option? Masterlist

Joel x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

EXTREME TW: Extreme domestic abuse (verbal and physical), PLEASE READ WARNING BEFORE READING!!

Main Masterlist & My Ao3

Summary: Your days have become one and the same - even with the terrifying reality of death right outside the walls of Jackson, being home is evidently worse. You never thought you’d be in the situation you’ve been stuck in for seven years now, the daily abuse you endure has become an expectation. You take whatever your husband throws at you, literally and figuratively, because you’ve been trained to believe this is normal. But a new man, Joel, moves next door and happens to be friendly towards you, this causes your husband’s rage to worsen. Your mind starts a gruesome war with itself - can you leave him or do you stay until the inevitable happens?

⚠️Warnings: Outbreak AU, Joel and reader age gap (35/56), not a happy ending, major character death, READER DEATH, brief smut with Joel (brief description of “sex” with husband), memories of violence your mom and you endured by your step-father, reader used to work in women shelters and helped women/children get out of domestic situations, extreme verbal and physical abuse from husband, manipulation: gaslighting & love bombing, miscarriage from abuse, self-hatred, heavy angst, mental breakdown, back and forth battle of forgiveness with yourself and husband, trying to justify husbands actions, running to Joel to save you but also not taking his advice, venting sessions with Joel about your marriage

——

Chapter one: All Alone

Chapter two: Too Late

Chapter three: Neighbor

Chapter four: Relief

Chapter five: Running Away

Chapter six: Running Away (Joel’s perspective)

Chapter seven: Seventy-Five Percent

#joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #trauma dump story #lots of trauma #DOMESTIC ABUSE WARNING #MISCARRIAGE WARNING #death warning

[troyandabedsnewapartment]

ON LOVE, ON VIOLENCE

1. consumed, david cronenberg | 2. taking it”, vievee francis | 3. the good fight, ada limón | 4. twin sized mattress, the front bottoms | 5. on the romance of cannibalism, silas denver | 6. allegory of divine wisdom (detail), andrea sacchi | 7. letters to milena, frank kafka | 8. teaching the dog not to nip, jim moore | 9. cherry wine, hozier | 10. warm bodies, isaac marion.

#web weaving #if any other trigger warning is needed please let me know!!! #web weave #tw abuse #tw violence #tw domestic violence #this is probably only part one it’s about to get real unhealthy around here fellas #eroticisation of violence #do NOT do this fellas this is just a web weave do NOT #poetry #on love #on violence #mine #pls don’t be mean to me im just trying to process my trauma ok bye

[3-2-whump]

Tear-Filled Noncon (Mutual!)

it's a working title, I'm bad with titles

Continuation of this idea

TW/CW: because this is a continuation of the previous noncon idea, a lot of the same warnings will apply. Rape/Noncon, intimate whumper, obsessed whumper, domestic violence (including brief head trauma), some degradation, inner thoughts that go a bit dark. If I missed anything, pls let me know!

He turned the key slowly in the lock, opened the door as quietly as he could, and closed it equally as carefully behind him. Whumpee’s eyes swept over the living room. The apartment was quiet and dark, dimly illuminated only by the city lights in the window. More importantly, the door to the master bedroom was closed, with no light peeking out from underneath. Whumpee sighed in relief; he’d gotten away with it.

The next breath caught in his throat as he was body-slammed into the door. A large hand pinned both wrists above his head when he tried to defend himself from the unseen force. The other hand yanked his head back by his hair, eliciting a surprised yelp of pain. “Where were you?” a warm breath hissed in his ear.

Whumpee squirmed under his master’s punishing grasp. “I-I can explain-”

“Like hell you can!” The hand in Whumpee’s hair drove his head forward and smashed it against the door. Sharp pain unfurled in the back of his skull as stars danced across his blurry vision. “Your curfew is midnight at latest, and it’s nearly two in the morning,” Whumper's angry voice thundered past the incessant throbbing in his head. The hand on his wrists tightened into a bruising grip. “So tell me-” Whumpee cried out in pain as the hand in his hair pulled harder. “Where were you?”

“You’re hurting me!” Whumpee gasped.

“Well you’re hurting me!” Whumper let go of him at once, only to throw him to the floor of the entrance. Whumpee landed hard on his side. He reflexively tried to curl into a ball to protect himself, but within moments the man had flipped him onto his back to better climb on top of him. A loud ripping sound punctuated Whumpee’s whimpers in the darkness as his shirt was torn clean in two. “Coming home late at night, with no regard to my rules, and smelling like a cheap motel –wait…” Whumper’s eyes zeroed in on a necklace of hickeys that rested on the young man’s collarbone. He slapped him, once, then twice, then again. “Who gave you those hickeys?” Slap! “Who were you sleeping with?!” Slap! “Well, answer me, whore!”

Whumpee shook his head, the tears streaming down his face as he continued to beg for mercy. “Clearly you’ve forgotten who you belong to,” Whumper huffed. “No problem, this just means I’ve got to remind you!” He brusquely unbuttoned Whumpee’s pants and pulled them and his boxers down the young man’s trembling thighs. Whumpee’s pleas of “no, no, stop, please, stop” went entirely ignored as he was flipped onto his stomach. His begging took on a frantic pitch as his body started visibly shaking. He’d never been taken from behind before, and this new position made him panic.

“You don’t deserve to be fucked like a person, so you’ll take it like the wanton little bitch you are!”

“No, no, stop, please! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, no, I’m sorry!”

“Shut up!” Whumpee wailed as his hips were wrenched up from the floor and Whumper entered him without any prep or lube. The man was not gentle, far from it. Quick, desperate thrusts punctured him deeper than he was used to. It was the roughest he had ever been with him, unquestionably, feeling less like having sex and more like being torn in half. Stubbornly enough, Whumpee’s body reacted to these more intense sensations all the same, especially when the man on top of him continuously slammed into that sweet spot inside of him.

“Look at you,” Whumper commented derisively, a hint of bitterness in his gravelly voice. “Hard as a rock already, you slutty thing! You’d be happy with just anyone’s cock inside your ass, wouldn’t you?” Whumpee’s cheeks colored in shame as a shaky moan interrupted his pleas. “But you shouldn’t be; you’re mine!”

He felt a thin, warm fluid trickle past the cock pummeling his hole. The man above him crushed him further into the carpeted floor. “I own this ass, and it is mine to fuck,” he screamed, “you got it?! No one else’s, just mine!”

He didn’t have to see behind him to know he was bleeding. At least it makes Master’s thrusts a little less painful, he thought. That feeling of morbid relief alone made him cry even harder. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Why am I not enough for you?!” Whumper’s voice wavered with emotion. His angry thrusts turned sloppier as he continued. “Damn it, and damn you! I gave you everything you could ask for; I gave you everything you could have needed! I fed you, clothed you, made you into the man you are today, so why?! What are they giving you that I’m not?!” The man’s voice caught on the last question. Whumpee felt small wet drops of liquid fall onto the nape of his neck. Tears? He realized with horror that Whumper was crying as he was raping him.

“M-Master, I-I’m sorry, please-”

“I said, shut up!” He pulled Whumpee back by the hips until he was flush with the older man’s pubic bone, burying himself to the hilt and spilling deep inside him. They stayed in that position for an uncomfortably long time. Suppressed sniffling sounds filled the entryway, and Whumpee knew they weren’t all coming from him. Whumper eventually pulled out, leaving his hole gaping and obscenely oozing cum. He settled on the floor next to Whumpee and repositioned them both onto their sides. “I love you, boy,” he murmured as he pulled him closer to spoon him. “I don’t enjoy hurting you, boy.” The tension gradually left Whumpee’s body as he accepted the forced cuddles. The man planted a kiss on the back of his ear, right above the barcode tattoo that marked him indelibly as property. The kiss was wet and tinged with sadness. “So why do you make me hurt you?”

-

Because what we do –no, what you do to me- is not supposed to feel good. How could it feel good? I didn’t want it, I don’t want it, and I will never want it, so why does my body betray me every time? What if it’s because you’re right? What if this really was my true purpose? To be nothing more than a pair of holes to fill and a body to break under yours? What if I am all those names you call me because I think this feels good?

And, what if I act out, do all the things I know will test your patience and make you rough and uncaring so that it finally hurts? So that it finally doesn’t feel good, and I don’t have to ask if my body and my mind are on the same page about me being violated? What if that’s why I make you hurt me? Would you stop? Would you hurt me more? Would it even matter?

-

That is everything Whumpee wanted to say. Instead, through a throat ripped raw from screaming, he rasped, “I don’t know.”

#oh my god this took a hot second lmao #whump #whump prompt #whump writing #intimate whumper #whumpee #whumper x whumpee #nsfwhump #tw rap3 #tw noncon #tw domestic violence #tw head trauma #tw degradation #no beta we die like my protestant upbringing

[mystery-box-gifs]

🪴 Plant Dad 🪴 

#the devil judge #devil judge #kim gaon #kim ga on #park jinyoung #jinyoung #tdj ep 01 #tdj ep 08 #tdj ep 10 #they were really like here's a boy full of domestic hobbies that are all trauma related #and I love that

[redflagbreakfast]

Introduction:

Buckle up, because this ride is going to be a doozy, and I already know it, and the story has just begun. I am constantly drawn to successful, handsome men who fall head over heels for me and do all the things I could dream of to win my affection in return. Sounds like a dream, right?

But hold on to your panties, ladies, because these guys aren’t your typical prince charmings. Nope, they’re narcissists. And guess what? Now I’m going dates with them on purpose! I don’t seek them out, they find me, and rather than immediately, turning down, I simply stick around long enough to journal about the red flags.

Now, some of you may be thinking, “Why the hell would someone willingly subject themselves to dating a narcissist?” Well, friends, let me tell you – it’s all for the sake of education, entertainment and training purposes only.

You see, I, like many women out there, have been taken advantage of by narcissistic men in the past. But instead of wallowing in self-pity and bitterness, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m dating these men as a social experiment to learn their ways, document the red flags as they happen, and ultimately teach women how to be in control. I mean…what could possibly go wrong?

I will be writing this journal in real time, and sharing past stories of my spectacular dating failures along the way. So obviously, I don’t even know how this ends. Maybe it’s a journal of my ultimate demise, maybe I fall prey to one of these men, or even worse, fall in love because I am not as tuned in as I think I am. But, I doubt it, Fuck, I eat red flags for breakfast.

And let me tell you, the red flags are already flying high…and it has only been a few short weeks. Love bombing, jealousy, and a sense of entitlement – these guys have it all. But I’m not one to back down from a challenge. As an entrepreneur who owns multiple companies in male dominated markets, I know a thing or two about taking charge.

So join me on this potentially haphazardness roller coaster. Let’s take a page out of these narcissist’s play books and learn how to be in control, no matter the situation. Who knows, you may even pick up a few dating tips along the way (but let’s be real, probably not from them).

#red flags #dating #covert narcissism #gaslighting #entrepreneurship #abuse survivor #abuse recovery #narcissticabuseawareness #domestic violent relationships #healing from trauma #ptsd flashbacks

[katabay]

haccho and goro :)

there are so many things in this show I'm obsessed with, it's an absolute cake that has everything I want to sink my teeth into and I cannot stop eating it (literally, I think about it all the TIME) and someday I'm going to get my hands on the comic. but. until then. these two have some kind of hold on me

#スモーキング #smoking 2018 #haccho #goro #aughghghhh i love them. im also so obsessed with the family dynamic they have with hifumin #that last episode!!!!! when they're all laying down in the ring and haccho and hifumin give each other a thumbs up #can we also just talk real quick about the scene where goro is dragging haccho across the floor #and hifumin is visually separated from them both from because of how the cage frames them #the domestic violence trauma overlay in that entire scene. im OBSESSED with that #also sorry for these crusty screen caps. you can't screen shot anything on an ipad (even when you're watching in the firefox #browser on an ipad RIP so you get a screenshot from a video i sent to a friend on discord last year) #(The laptop I’m borrowing can’t always handle media etc etc hence the discord screenshot)

[staticevent]

mother goose (a story about fear, silence, being all alone in the world, and eventually realizing that you never actually were. // comic text included in alt)

#original #comic #horror comic #monsters #abuse / #domestic abuse implications / #coping with trauma #so yeah.. another vent thing feat an OC and probably the Heaviest Thing I've posted on this blog ever #I cried several times drawing it lol #but.. by God it's done #mother goose #long post #like Very long #photoset #doodle

[woundgallery]

Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men's Violence, and Women's Lives by Dee L.R. Graham

#dee l.r. graham #intimate partner violence #domestic violence #literature #the human custom of wrong love #trauma bonding #cognitive distortions #text #once the subject has identified the experience as love it is love #romantic love was invented to manipulate women #expiring for love is beautiful but stupid